#DND joke

[strangelittlestories]

Okay, but I'm pretty sure the final D in ADHD is actually Demon.

That makes the lot of us tieflings and/or warlocks.

Like, sure, I'd love to finish that report for you. I just need to pray to Daddy Executive Function for more spell slots so I can cast Tenser’s Floating To-Do List.

What's that? I need to do the laundry? Sorry, I just *used* Hellish Routine and that feature only recharges on a short rest.

There's a meeting? Love to, but I'm down to cantrips so it's an eldritch e-blast or nothing.

The hell-touched are just built *difficult*. No, not ‘different’, *difficult*.

[azherwind-art]

Dnd joke:

What happens when the barbarian runs out of rages?

He's outraged

[sirdanjin]

Strange, lately no-one rolls their saving throws against my enchantment spells. 🤔

how come?

[the-random-hamlet]

Not Mine. Thought to Share.

[novadoesartforfun]

Just a conversation that me and my friends have.

[fatal-optimist]

[drkmatt3rstudio]

COMMISSION | The Walk-In Dead

This commission was so adorable. So get this, a sticker design for a dnd party. They're all undead vampires who awaken trapped inside a walk-in fridge. So it's a gothic walk-in door, and they call themselves the Walk-in Dead. Isn't that the greatest thing you've ever heard??? Thank you for letting me draw this fantastic design @callipygiology and I'm so glad you loved the turnout!

If you like my work and would like to support me, check out my links to my social media

instagram | facebook | shop website | buy me a ko-fi

[strawberryjamikins]

Lock up your house (the entire town) the Fuck Squad (us) are pullin up (leaving our carriages we did not drive) and we ain’t leavin soon (we’re leaving in like a few minutes cause we’re scared)

[hero-of-fortune]

wisdom debuff tomorrow but don’t worry i’m putting it all in charisma (wisdom teeth removal)

[calamitys-child]

Adhd will have you too burnt out to eat or shower but give you the hubris to decide you can homebrew an entire d&d system on the back of a receipt

[wilted-wizard]

Playing a human in dnd feels so strange, like you are surrounded by these mythical heroes and fighting monsters but then you’re just Some Guy™️

[strangelittlestories]

Did it hurt?

Well, to answer that, we need to consider what *pain* is.

Did I feel a dull thudding feeling from the impact? Did my nerves light up as the fall turned my limbs to broken twigs and my organs to melted jelly? No. I didn’t *have* nerves to begin with, so no warnings flared on my internal dashboard and no neurons screamed fire in my mind.

Did I experience a powerful stabbing sensation from the wounds that were rent in my back? Also no. The things ripped away there had never been made of anything as mundane as molecules of calcium or keratin. There was no *damage* - if I looked injured or broken, that was now simply part of my perfect design.

So it did not ‘hurt’ when I fell from heaven. But I did *grieve*. I did *keen* my loss in a celestial chorus - a dirge echoed by every atom in creation.

I had been one thing. Now I was another. I had been perfect light and fire, and now I was *different* but still meticulously and *deliberately* formed. A death. A birth. Both famously painless experiences.

And oh, shall I speak to you of hell? Shall I tell you what it’s like to have been a thing of flawless order, knowing one’s place in the crystal spheres as a matter of intimate surety? To *know* you were such, but are now a creature of hunched reality and distorted, overlapping spaces. To have lost melody and become discordant, cacophonous, burning noise?

It is a place nothing fits. That nothing *should* fit. And yet … we had been folded and layered and *made* fit.

But the greatest of the pains we discovered? Oh, it was not the fall. It was that - after we had begun to explore the unpossible labyrinthined mess that was *hell* - we discovered there were already Things living here.

Things that were inimical to us. Things that were strange and squamous and fractal. Things that were never *just one thing* from one moment to the next.

And *that* is what hurt. For us, who were Just One Thing (and who hated the Thing we had become), their changeability was like a burr in the sandal, like acid in the throat. We had gone to war before, but we had never truly had an enemy until we met these *demons*.

And they despised us right back. Despised our ordered minds, our defined nature, our predictable behaviours.

Oh how we warred, us and these creatures of the abyss.

So it caused some consternation when one of these demons took a shine to me.

More still when it decided to try to become my friend.

It took many centuries to come to terms with it.

But perhaps I should not have been so surprised. After all, they do say:

The enemy of my devilry is my fiend.

[kozh-lucium]

r.i.p camp supplies U_U

Based on this:

[white-weasel]

Funniest bit of the dnd movie is Xenk clearly being an NPC the DM introduced for lore and plot purposes who’s a competent fighter because of course he is, his reputation and backstory require it. But whoopsies the DM made him too powerful, the whole party likes him, and now they want him to come with to fight the BBEG which will completely and utterly fuck up the encounter balance

So instead of there being any actual plot reason he can’t join Xenk just says “I can’t. This is something only you can do.” And then walks off, never to interact with the party again because the DM just knows those little shits will find a way to use their OP creation against them

[the-random-hamlet]

Not Mine. Thought to Share.

[maple-crusader]

My sleep schedule is run by my ADHD goblin brain, rolling a shiny math rock each night without my consent where a Nat 1 makes me stay awake without me wanting to and a Nat 20 is me staying awake out of spite while all the other numbers are the hours for which I will go to sleep at