#DISCLAIMER: I’m not going to attempt to stay up that long just because characters in a show did

[r0semultiverse]

How many hours did they end up staying awake in total? Do we know? I wanna figure out if I’d survive with my stimulants or not.

[50calmadeuce]

Ch. 43: Court - Chuck

Warning: Mention of miscarriage. Some chapters have sex.

Disclaimer: This is a work of fan fiction using characters from the Top Gun: Maverick world, trademarked by Paramount Pictures Corporation. I do not claim ownership of the characters and the world that I am borrowing.

The story and situation I am creating are a work of my imagination and I do not ascribe them to official story canon. This work is for entertainment only and is not a part of the storyline.

I am not profiting financially from the creation and publication of this story, but I do hope it gives you happy thoughts.

These stories are my own, so please do not take them and use them for yourself without my permission. If you see them somewhere else, please let me know. :)

After Max stepped down from the witness stand, Mr. Dunby rose and addressed the judge. "Your Honor, I'd like to call Chuck McAllistar to the stand."

Chuck stood up, adjusted his shirt, and made his way to the witness stand. After being sworn in, he settled into the chair, his posture solid and composed.

Mr. Dunby approached him with a calm demeanor. "Mr. McAllistar, could you please state your occupation for the court?"

Chuck nodded. "I’m the ranch hand for Dr. Seresin."

Dunby continued, "And how long have you been working for Dr. Seresin?"

"Going on five years now."

"And during that time, did you have any interaction with Dr. Stryker?"

Chuck's jaw tightened. "Yes, I did."

Dunby leaned forward slightly. "Could you explain the nature of that interaction?"

Chuck took a deep breath before replying. "When I first met Dr. Seresin, it was when she was working on the grant in Wyoming. We met at the sale of my two horses and she had offered me a job. That evening we had decided to go to the fair. It was there I saw Dr. Stryker attempt to kiss Dr. Seresin."

"Dr. Stryker attempted to kiss Dr. Seresin? Can you describe what happened?"

Chuck nodded. "Yeah. We were at the fair, just enjoying the evening. Dr. Stryker showed up and asked Dr. Seresin to dance. A slow song came on, and I noticed him pulling her closer. Her eyes were closed, but I had a feeling she wasn’t thinking about Dr. Stryker. After the dance, Dr. Seresin looked up at him, and that’s when he leaned in to kiss her. I knew something wasn’t right, so I called out her name. She must’ve realized it too because she quickly hurried over to me."

Dunby gave Chuck an encouraging nod before asking, "And what was Dr. Seresin's reaction after that? Did she say anything to you about what happened?"

Chuck shifted slightly in his seat, thinking back. "She looked shaken up, like she hadn’t expected it. When she came over to me, she just said she didn’t want to make a scene and that she’d handle it professionally. But I could tell she was uncomfortable."

Dunby took a moment, then asked, "And after that night, did Dr. Stryker continue to pursue her?"

Chuck shook his head. "Not really, but we were packing up to leave a few days later."

Dunby nodded, absorbing Chuck’s response. "So, after that incident at the fair, you and Dr. Seresin decided to leave Wyoming?"

"Yeah," Chuck confirmed. "She had finished up the work she needed to do, and we were ready to head back. It was clear she didn’t want to stick around any longer than necessary."

Dunby paused, then asked, "Did Dr. Stryker attempt to contact Dr. Seresin again after you left Wyoming?"

Chuck’s face tightened. "Not that I'm aware. I do know Dr. Seresin made a few trips to Texas to work on the book, but I'm not sure what happened while there."

Dunby nodded, processing Chuck's response before continuing. "So, you weren’t involved in any of the interactions between Dr. Seresin and Dr. Stryker during her trips to Texas for the book?"

"No," Chuck replied. "I stayed behind on the ranch during those trips. Dr. Seresin didn't mention anything specific about what happened while she was there, just that it was related to the project they were working on."

Dunby took a breath and then asked, "Did Dr. Seresin ever express any concerns about Dr. Stryker during those trips?"

Chuck shook his head. "She didn’t talk much about him, other than the work. But I got the sense she was focused on finishing the book and moving on."

Dunby glanced at the judge before turning to the jury. "No further questions, Your Honor."

As Dunby sat down, Mr. Rowe stood up and slowly approached Chuck, a contemplative look on his face.

Mr. Rowe approached Chuck with measured steps, giving him a calculating look before speaking. "Mr. McAllistar, you said Dr. Seresin didn’t express any concerns about Dr. Stryker during her trips to Texas?"

Chuck nodded. "That's right."

Mr. Rowe tilted his head slightly. "And yet, despite not having witnessed anything inappropriate directly, you seem to hold a strong opinion about Dr. Stryker. Why is that?"

Chuck's jaw tightened slightly, his tone calm but firm. "I don't need to see something firsthand to know when something’s off. I saw how Dr. Seresin reacted to him that night at the fair. I don’t trust him, and after hearing what happened since, it seems I had good reason."

Mr. Rowe raised an eyebrow. "But as you mentioned, Dr. Seresin kept working with Dr. Stryker on the book, didn't she? Despite your 'concerns,' she continued her professional relationship with him."

Chuck gave a short nod. "Yeah, she did, but that doesn’t mean she trusted him. Sometimes you finish what you start because it's important to you, not because you trust the people you’re working with."

Rowe took a step back, considering Chuck's words. "So, in your opinion, Dr. Seresin wasn’t comfortable with Dr. Stryker, but she chose to continue working with him anyway?"

"That’s what it seemed like to me," Chuck replied simply.

"And the last trip to Wyoming?"

"Dr. Seresin again kept if professional. She was offered a different grant by the university and she took that instead of working with Dr. Stryker again. She was only asked to go back because the university noticed something wasn't right with Dr. Styker's work."

Rowe paused, studying Chuck for a moment. "So, Dr. Seresin made a conscious decision to distance herself from Dr. Stryker professionally by accepting a different grant. Yet, she was asked to return to Wyoming due to concerns with Dr. Stryker's work?"

Chuck nodded firmly. "Exactly. The university had suspicions about his work, and they wanted Dr. Seresin to help sort things out. She wasn’t there because she wanted to be, but because the situation called for it."

Rowe raised an eyebrow. "And during that time, was there any indication that Dr. Seresin was in danger or uncomfortable in his presence?"

Chuck's expression hardened. "She didn’t say anything specific to me, but I trust my gut."

"And while Dr. Seresin and her husband weren't talking, did she show any interest in anyone else?"

Chuck shook his head. "No. Doc isn't like that. She loved and still loves her husband. She concentrated on her work, but I know she still thought of her husband."

Rowe's eyebrows lifted slightly, but he kept his tone neutral. "So, despite their lack of communication, you're saying Dr. Seresin remained faithful to her husband?"

Chuck nodded firmly. "Absolutely. Even when they weren't talking, she never showed interest in anyone else. She was always thinking about the Lieutenant. Her work kept her busy, but her heart was still with him."

Rowe paused for a moment, then asked, "And you're confident in that assessment? You saw no signs that she might have wanted something different?"

Chuck met Rowe's gaze without wavering. "I’m confident. She loved and still loves the Lieutenant, and she was committed to him. That never changed."

"And she, during that time, would never sign a piece of paper stating that she wanted a divorce?"

Chuck shook his head emphatically. "No, absolutely not. Dr. Seresin would never have signed anything like that. She might have been hurt and feeling distant, but she always believed in their marriage. A divorce was never something she would have considered."

Rowe glanced at the jury, then continued, "So, to clarify, during the entire time that Dr. Seresin and her husband were not communicating, you’re saying that she remained loyal and devoted to him?"

"Yes," Chuck affirmed. "She was devoted to the Lieutenant. Even when things were tough, her heart was still with him."

"And this last time in Wyoming?"

"They had repaired their relationship and were working on preparing for their child."

"You mean Dr. Styker's child."

Chuck's expression hardened as he met Rowe's gaze. "No, I mean Dr. Seresin's child with Lieutenant Seresin. Dr. Stryker has no claim to that child. It was made clear that Y/N and Jake were working on their relationship and had plans for their future together."

Rowe raised an eyebrow, pushing further. "So you're saying that Dr. Seresin was actively planning a future with her husband despite everything that had happened?"

Chuck's voice rose slightly with conviction. "Of course she was! Y/N never stopped loving the Lieutenant. They were working on mending their relationship, and the thought of having their child brought them even closer. Dr. Stryker was just a bump in the road—Y/N always had her heart set on the Lieutenant."

Rowe tried to regain control of the narrative. "But during their time apart, wouldn’t you agree that she might have been influenced by other relationships?"

Chuck shook his head vehemently. "No, not at all. Y/N was focused on her work and coping with her loss. She never expressed any interest in anyone else, and it was clear that her loyalty remained with the Lieutenant."

Rowe sighed, seemingly frustrated. "So you're saying that despite the emotional turmoil, Dr. Seresin never wavered in her commitment to her husband?"

"That’s exactly what I’m saying," Chuck replied, his tone resolute. "She loved him, and that love didn’t fade just because they had difficulties. They were committed to each other, and they were working through their issues together."

Rowe looked at Chuck, searching for any sign of doubt, but finding none. "Thank you. No further questions, Your Honor."

As Chuck stepped down, you felt a surge of pride for him standing up for you and Jake. You knew the truth of your relationship, and it was comforting to see others recognize that too.

Just then, you heard Mr. Dunby’s cell phone buzz, and he glanced at it before addressing the judge. "Your Honor, if we could take a few minutes at your request, I’m able to connect with Lieutenant Jake Seresin via a conference call."

The judge rapped his gavel. "Let's take a fifteen-minute break so we can set that up."

Tags: @buckysteveloki-me @bellyliveslife @tgmreader @callsign-barbell @86laura11 @dizzybee03 @kmc1989 @guacam011y @nerdgirljen @hookslove1592 @dempy @djs8891 @smoothdogsgirl @devil-angel-winchester

[egcdeath]

Hi! If you are not comfortable with this request then I totally understand but what about a Joel x reader where he has a nightmare that he can’t snap out of and he accidentally hurts the reader (like he grabs onto her and won’t let go) and the reader is okay but Joel freaks out and tries to break things off and its hurt with a lot of fluff. Thanks!

pairing: joel miller x reader

summary: joel gives you both a scare when he wakes up hurting you in his sleep.

word count: 1.3k

warnings: full disclaimer: joel chokes the reader in his sleep. brief violence (unintentional), angst, hurt/comfort, fluff, established relationship

author’s note: this is a little darker than what i usually write, and it’s a little different from your request. i still hope that you enjoy <3 i’m also still taking drabble requests for any pedro pascal character!!

Twenty years ago you stopped dreaming.

Then, you finally found a safe haven in Jackson, Wyoming. Slowly but surely, you regained the ability to hold onto your dreams, building beautiful worlds in your mind and being able to recall them hours after you dreamt them. 

You didn’t always have the best dreams, but you were having one now; a pleasant dream taking place in the stream that you and Joel often stopped to take baths in on your smuggling runs. You lounged out on a familiar rock, basking in the sun while Joel cleaned himself diligently just a few feet away. You listened to the soft rustling of the leaves from the trees above you, then the song of chirping birds. You were at peace in a way you hadn’t known was possible since the world ended—but that peace didn’t last long. 

You couldn’t be sure how, but you’d fallen off of your rock and into the water, where the current had suddenly picked up. You began to bob above and below the water rapidly, choking as you fought to stay above it. But it was too late. Your nose and lungs were filled with water, the liquid burning you the more that you coughed. Your arms flailed as you desperately tried to swim, but it was clearly no use.

You woke up with a gasp, then shot up as you coughed violently—the same way you’d been coughing in your dream. You instinctually brought your hands up to your throat as you coughed, the scratching pain almost unbearable. Your heart and mind were racing, so much so that you’d completely missed the horrified look on the face of the man in bed beside you, or the way that he seemed to be paralyzed in his position. 

“Fuck, are you alright?” he finally said after your coughing had subsided. 

“Yeah, it was just a bad dream,” you dismissed, finally looking back at Joel, who still seemed a bit off. “Could you grab me a glass of water?”

“Of course,” he said, his voice a little flatter than usual. He still got up, still made the floorboards creak as he walked down the stairs, and still came back with a distinctly guilty look on his face. 

“Honey, are you okay?” you asked once he sat down, looking like he was in a state of pure shock. 

Joel seemed to gather himself, he took a few deep breaths, attempted to adjust his slumped shoulders, but still looked down and away—notably not at you.

“I think we should break up,” he said quickly and quietly.

“What?” you gasped, in complete and utter disbelief of what he’d just said to you. “Because I disturbed your fucking beauty sleep by coughing? I mean, what the fuck, Joel. I’ve done way worse shit than cough around you!”

“No, because I was choking you. In my sleep. That’s why you woke up coughing. I’m so sorry,” his voice slightly broke as he admitted what had happened.

“…What?” you were in disbelief, but your hand raised to your neck to feel it once more. Without the abrupt shock of waking up from a nightmare, you were now able to feel the warmth that had obviously come from an injury from an outside source. 

“I can’t… I don’t want to be a danger to you in your sleep. Maybe we should go to the infirmary too. But I can’t have you with me if I’m going to accidentally kill you in my sleep.”

You attempted to look into his eyes, but he looked distant and far away, clearly more shaken up by this whole ordeal than you were—which meant a lot, considering that you were already quite shaken up. 

“I can probably wait until the morning. I feel… alright. What happened?”

“I was dreaming and you and I were on patrol, a clicker came out of nowhere and grabbed you and you’re just screaming and wailing and it’s the most horrific sound I’ve ever heard,” he stops himself to gulp, to calm down a bit, and you gently reach out to touch his arm. Joel rejects your sensitivity, clearly feeling like he doesn’t deserve any sort of empathy in the moment. “So I come up behind it and grab it, like I’ve done a million times before, and its face slowly starts to warp into your face, and then I just abruptly woke up, and saw me choking you. I don’t- I don’t actually know how long it was going on. So maybe we really do need to go to the infirmary.”

The plea in his face told you that it was likely better to go than to sit here and argue about going. At the very least, it would give Joel the peace of mind to know that you weren’t as injured as he thought you might be. 

The two of you walked over to the infirmary in your pajamas, your house slippers becoming outdoor slippers as you drug them through the snowy ground. On your short walk over, Joel rejected every single advance you attempted; he wouldn’t hold your hand, he wouldn’t let you wrap yourself around his arm, and he wouldn’t even let you rest your hand on his back. For all you knew, he completely believed that it was over between the two of you. 

After waking up the receptionist at the desk who was lightly snoozing, you were able to see the doctor who seemed just as tired. After a few rounds of testing, she decided that you were good to go—though you’d already suspected that was the case. 

Once you arrived back at your home, Joel made a beeline to the couch, where it seemed he was dead set on staying for the rest of the night. 

“I’ll talk to Tommy about which buildings are vacant, and be out of your hair as soon as possible,” he told you in a matter-of-fact tone.

“Don’t you want to talk things out first?” you pleaded.

“There’s nothing to talk about. You’re not safe around me,” he dismissed, trying to be as firm in his words as possible as you sat down next to him on the couch. 

“I am safe around you, Joel. Do you know how many times you’ve saved me? Do I need to remind you of those smugglers who tried to keep me hostage?” you hoped that the mention of the memory would do some work in taking Joel down memory lane, to one of the many times in your lives where he’d come to your rescue. 

“I mean, yes, you did choke me in our sleep. That’s terrifying, obviously, but I love you. I can just sleep in the guest bedroom from now on,” you insisted, setting a hand on his knee that he finally accepted without trying to flinch away. “We both have a lot to work through. I’m not just gonna abandon you,” you insisted. 

“How am I ever gonna trust myself again?” Joel murmured, looking up to the ceiling to avoid eye contact with you. 

“Joel, you were asleep,” you pushed, “and for all intents and purposes, you were trying to save me in your dream. And the doctor was pretty unfazed by my injury. I believe her exact words were, ‘It looks fine to me.’”

“Our doctor was half asleep,” Joel halfheartedly argued. 

“Well, true… but I feel fine. And nothing has changed between us. Other than the fact that I think it’s probably time we both start seeing the therapist.”

Joel finally began to look like he believed what he was saying. Of course you didn’t want to be attacked in your sleep, but you knew that it was never his intention to hurt you. Obviously, it would take a bit of time and separation to make sure that he could get his sleeping habits in check, but you weren’t lying when you promised him all of those years ago that you would be with him every step of the way. 

[rriavian]

You mentioned in a recent ask how one of the things you loved about Corintheus is the balance of the ship. Could you tell me more about this? It's something I've never really associated with Corintheus and I'd love to know more.

Thank you for the ask! Sorry it took so long to answer—I ended up writing far too much and had to wrangle it into something shorter. Also (as a general disclaimer) this is based on the show rather than the comics. When engaging with Corintheus as a ship I can definitely see why the idea of balance might not be something you’ve come across before!

I suppose the personal answer is that (for me) balance is what makes a ship fun.

I don’t think either of the two would be satisfied by someone who doesn’t match them, and as a reader/writer I’m not satisfied by that either.

I’ve answered a couple of asks about power dynamics and how I like to balance them (original here, part two here), but there are also other ways in which balance can be found within relationship dynamics. It doesn’t necessarily have to be about physical strength/power. In many ways I write Corintheus as a negotiation of balance, (though of course the Corinthian is going for dominance most of the time). In canon we see him fighting for agency, fighting for freedom from Dream and all of his rules, and to me that’s an attempt to balance the scales.

There’s an obvious, and unavoidable, power difference that impacts the relationship but there's also a hierarchical difference, further complicated by the creator/creation dynamic. In many ways Dream is always going to hold all the cards. But that’s a character quality not a relationship one (most characters interacting with Dream also face it) and, again, it’s what the Corinthian spent all of season one seeking to counteract.

So I don’t think he would want to stay in a relationship where he had no power…not when a lack of agency was why he rebelled in the first place.

But I also don’t think Dream is really the sort to use brutal (clumsy) shows of power in a relationship context. As the Corinthian’s king and creator, sure, Dream will be absolutely merciless when he needs to remind his creation of the rules. There’s a line though (exceptions made for fun little roleplays perhaps, but even then Dream is going to be far more careful with the Corinthian than the Corinthian would be with him).

A common theme in my writing is the Corinthian trying to push past his own limitations to balance the field with Dream, and Dream, in turn, allows him to choose the game they play but he doesn’t necessarily makes himself ��weaker’. He sees it more as ensuring an interesting game of chess ;)

Of course this could just be me wrangling these dynamics to make it personally satisfying, but I always draw my characterisation from canon.

Even when provoked Dream rarely attacks with the full limit of his power, remains incredibly well controlled, pitches the exact amount of force required. To use one of my favourite examples—and also one where traditional ‘power’ isn’t what makes the difference—Dream does this against Lucifer. One could add that this is especially intricate as he takes what I write as the Corinthian’s usual place in this scenario; except here the obviously stronger opponent also sets the game, Lucifer can't quite commit to leveling the playing field, and yet Dream proves he knows exactly how to play because he still wins. Which is one of the things that makes his relationship with Lucifer so interesting.

The scenario in hell is a nice example of how balance isn’t guaranteed by giving one character a power boost, nor is it lost if one character is ‘weaker’ than the other. Lucifer was objectively where the power scale tipped, and yet I don’t think anyone who watched that scene could really say that Lucifer came out the victor. It’s a perfect illustration of how Dream sees/uses power, how he can manipulate an external perception of it.

(Not just the characters around him, but us as viewers, which is again something I’ve brought up before).

Ok so there was a whole point here about the Corinthian and Lucifer but it’s not really relevant (and I’ve already gone a little off topic!!) so I’m moving on…

So. If ‘power’ doesn’t always matter…where is the balance?

The Corinthian is intelligent, a hunter, made to be patient and calculating, and he has the sheer gall to use that against Dream. Yeah season one was mostly running, but when he stands his ground the Corinthian stands and fights. He pushes back—looks so personally hurt by Dream as he does so—and extrapolating that development into other scenarios is what started my Corintheus journey haha. I think those attributes—the stubbornness, the perhaps overabundance of intensity that is quite inhuman—are shared.

They are both nightmares: that part of Dream finds someone who can take it (and vice versa). It can be played out in a way that is healthy for them both. 

I think that’s what so often goes wrong with Dream in his canon relationships—he’s too much for those who’ve tried. I think I briefly referred to this in another ask. But anyway! When the Corinthian wants something he goes all in to get it; his freedom in the waking world, his refusal to deny himself, ravenous to taste it all. Applied to Dream himself it’s balance because of how intense Dream also is. I think Dream is insanely attracted to that—the attempt of it, the eternal dance of it—he doesn’t want to be forced into a box, he wants someone to meet him where he is and still he knows that doing so will be a constant fight.

This idea is a theme in Baiting the Trap, though the Corinthian is only starting to become aware of it.

It’s the Corinthian’s nature as a ‘dark mirror’, because a reflection is a thing of balance. He brings out the dark urges, the selfish ones, speaks to the nightmare in Dream that isn’t evil but can be misunderstood to be so. Nightmares are a big part of Dream that I don’t think many characters within the narrative accept, or see as a good thing, but it’s not a part of him that should change. I think the Corinthian can draw that out and play with it.

They can do all sorts of fucked up/imaginative things with each other as outlets for a shared nightmarish nature, finding pleasure in what others might balk at.

The Corinthian objects to Dream’s rules, to a perceived lack of agency, but still thinks he’s doing what he’s made for. He has a differing philosophy in how he wants to be a nightmare in the waking world. This desire for freedom/agency is another balancing tool—it challenges Dream’s duty (and what that makes the Corinthian’s duty)—giving Dream a stage to reaffirm/explore that part of himself. While giving Dream a forum to challenge right back so that the Corinthian can reaffirm/explore the same thing.

In the weirdest of ways, Dream is complimented by a partner who is both a subject of his kingdom and a sceptic of it. The Corinthian understands, is just as inhuman as Dream is, but shows utter disdain right to his face—doesn’t put role and duty first—is selfish enough to want just him and fuck everything else. 

The scene at the Convention was what inspired me to write for Corintheus. Mostly because of how it was framed. As opposed to the meeting in ep one it’s a very different set up and that’s not really because of Rose. 

If anything the presence of a vortex should mean Dream zooms his way through this like ‘yeah that’s nice, but turn into sand now’ but instead he takes his time. He talks it out. They both have one half of the stage, opposite sides, opposite colour palettes, but there’s no game. They are both honest. It’s raw and real. And though it still ends in an unmaking it’s a very complex encounter. Yes it has the threat of duty hanging over it, but Dream is very clearly affected in a way he wasn’t when he punished Gault. 

Wow this is getting long. This is so complex for me that I’ve written over 100k about it. I hope this makes sense though! 

The Corinthian gets to push the boundaries with Dream, to do what he’d never thought he could, what he could never do to anyone else. In the waking he finds victims not equals, those he’s supposed to teach, to prey on but who he can never fully let loose on. No worthy opponent (no worthy lover). But Dream can be fought forever, is an incredibly powerful being that can be enjoyed past the limit, and oh does the predator in the Corinthian enjoy that. It’s the right kind of bittersweet because victory is impossible sure (balance in that too!) but there’s fun in it.

The sort that suits two immortal beings. It’s a meal that the Corinthian can never finish. It’s balance because he is never going to stop, and Dream is never going to move an inch.

It’s insatiable appetite vs an infinite feast.

[destinygoldenstar]

Responding To Ninjago Hot Takes (Round One)

Hey, remember the post I made asking people for Ninjago Hot Takes?

No?

Links here

I said I was gonna respond to some, so well, here we are. I’ll just do a post per hot take, cause some of these I have way too much to say, and I want to shout out people who made these in the first place. (Please support these people, even if you don’t agree with what they said.)

I’m going to repeat this for every post: I’m going to approach these hot takes in two ways: How hot I think they are as takes, and whether or not I agree with the take. Know that I’m just using both of these to reflect on others opinions, which is always fun to see, and I will try to be as respectful as possible to the person. (You guys be respectful too) And as always reblog some of your hot takes in either this post or the other one, preferably the other one.

So I’m gonna go from oldest reblog and onward.

@favesgrave

They said:

‘i might get burnt at the stake for saying this but i think llorumi is the straight version of catradora (disclaimer: i don't like either ships)’

‘harumi manipulates lloyd, toys with him, tries killing him and his friends multiple times, yadda yadda yadda, but eventually turns good (i cant remember how or why i havent watched crystallized in a while)’

‘catra does the same exact thing to adora!!! and also nearly destroys the world and is the reason glimmer's mom is dead and everyone's chill with that??? but then at the end catra comes out with the "i love you i always have!!!!" and everything's okay’

‘yeah harumi and lloyd dont get together at the end but people sure ship them still’

Yeah. I definitely agree with this.

For me, the whole point of this ship was that it was a toxic ship in the Oni Trilogy. You’re SUPPOSED to say ‘Yeah, this will never work and this is unhealthy’.

And I loved hating it for that reason. These two characters became such good rivals as a result. And it definitely makes you hate Harumi for all the personal torment she’s done to Lloyd. Toying with his feelings, turning his father against him, forcing him to watch his friends supposedly DIE?!?

Like, I was so angry when Sons of Garmadon ended on a cliffhanger (because I was unused to change and was an idiot). I was furious that this lady got away with all of it!

The point of the ship was that it was a lie and she’s toying with him. Like, convince me in any way that Lloyd is not the victim here.

BUUUUUT then Crystalized came in as a pure fan service season that decided to fix something that was NOT BROKEN.

I usually appreciate the writers actually taking time to listen to criticism and attempting to take it to heart and fix issues audiences had in later installments. (Not everything, but what can you do?) It’s why I can respect the shows heart more than anything else. They care about their audience and are willing to admit when they messed up somewhere.

There were people who demanded that Harumi be redeemed though, and honestly, I think listening to those people was a bad call. Because it only ruined the entire character.

I wouldn’t say it ruined Sons of Garmadon and Hunted for me, but yeah, the best headcanon I can think is that Harumi got possessed or something when she was revived cause she is just flat out not the same character in this season.

I think what got to me the most was that she did not EARN redemption or convince me in any way.

The big thing that redeemed her was a few moments where she doubted her place and Lloyd’s fate, and realizing the Overlord made the snake that killed her family. The latter is the big thing that makes her switch sides and attack the Overlord. Which, that could’ve easily been read as self preservation. But no it’s ‘her switching sides’.

We don’t even get an aftermath for her switching sides. Lloyd just says “She’s on our side now” and nothing else is done. She doesn’t even apologize! For goodness sake!

Like yeah, I can definitely understand people being angry at this.

Lloyd went out of his way to help his abuser. Someone who destroyed his life at one point and gave him PTSD from all of that. PTSD that prevented him from stepping out of his friend group and trusting others for a long time. And they treat it like the problem was that Lloyd didn’t consider ‘how to redeem her’. No. The burden is NOT on you to make things right in this scenario. The burden is on THEM.

So yes. I can definitely agree with this. I guess the only thing is that maybe it could’ve worked if there was another draft involved in the editing room, and I can’t deny it was good in the Oni Trilogy.

Idk how spicy of a take this is. Because I’ve seen others say the same things I’m saying. So I don’t think this take is all that unpopular. I’ve seen it everywhere all the time. But I guess to Llorumi shippers it’s a hot take.

I’ll give you a 4 for the Spiciness.

I’ll give you an 8 for the Agreement.

Anyone else want to say your hot takes? Reblog them on the original post!

[mx-ryder]

More thoughts on Hazbin Hotel

Alright alright alright, okay.

I know I already made a pretty lengthy post about this. But y'all. That was based on a single quote from this trashfire of an article.

ohhohoho, now. NOW

You will see my true thoughts/feelings about this piece, and how people consume media not aimed at or meant for them, completely misunderstand it, and then use their misunderstanding to make ridiculous claims about the media, like that it's bad, disappointing, badly written, etc. whatever.

How many times do we have to tell people this same thing?? If a piece of media wasn't for you, then you do not get to use that to claim it's bad. You know what's not for me?? Most zombie stories! Most romance novels! Especially "dark romance," gfdi.

You know what I don't do??

Consume a piece of media in one of those genres and then write a scathing review about it based solely on the fact that I don't enjoy that particular sort of media!!

So here. Here's a long-winded piece picking apart every single horrible point made in this sorry excuse for an article.

(Disclaimer: again, most of my views on HH are colored by my upbringing in a very conservative, right-wing, USA-based christianity. I'm sure my experiences differ from those who were raised catholic, or protestant, or really any actually named sect of christian. We were "home-school co-op and vote no on prop 8" christian. So when I talk about christianity and their beliefs/tenets, that's where I'm coming from.)

Here we go.

--

 I knew it wouldn’t be for me, and planned on staying far away from both the show and the drama constantly swirling around it like a hurricane. 

Completely aware that this show was not for them. That they wouldn't enjoy it. They had no intention of watching it, until their boyfriend "made them" watch it. As if they didn't have a choice in the matter. And they try to couch in it a cute little "if we ended up hating it, we’d at least be able to give concrete reasons why, rather than just judging a book by its cover."

More than anything, though, I was just blown away by the sloppy writing. And no, I don’t just mean the constant forced swearing and dick jokes. I’m talking big picture stuff. It really, truly feels like a first draft written with no oversight. Writing that’s always telling instead of showing. Constant diversions to introduce insufferable new characters and subplots, even though the main cast is so woefully underdeveloped. Big emotional crescendos that never feel earned. A central conflict that makes no goddamn sense if you stop and think about it even briefly. I could go on and on. And I will!!

You realize this is all subjective, right? This is a story that was, by necessity and capitalism, forced to squeeze itself into eight. fucking. episodes. And those episodes do their darndest to give the cast as much development as possible. And I'm sorry, "a first draft written with no oversight"?? Do you realize how much "oversight" they probably had to work around? The oversight that forced them into an eight episode season (to avoid a lengthy run if it didn't perform as well as Amazon expected, of course) is the same oversight that made those character arcs fast-forwarded. And they're still so impactful despite their rushed-ness. I cried literal tears multiple times for this show. Because I was the target audience, and you were not, -I removed a particularly mean-spirited insulting name here, because I was angry and passionate at the time. I don't normally personally attack people who I disagree with, but also I enjoy swearing, so it was instinctive more than anything. Still though, I wouldn't normally call someone that, and see no reason to do so just because I'm on the internet and "talking" to someone I don't know and whose opinion I don't like-

I didn’t actually watch the pilot at first. I figured I didn’t need to. It’s over four years old at this point, featuring an entirely different voice cast from the full series, and it isn’t even on Prime Video. If it was required viewing, it’d be on Amazon with the rest of the show, right? I mean, how many shows can you even think of that have required you to go seek out a separate pilot episode before watching the first season?

Neither did I. It wasn't necessary viewing. Having seen it, I still don't believe it's necessary to understanding the story or the characters.

it feels like it was written almost exclusively for people who are already obsessive fans of the characters and world, with very little effort to craft a coherent story that will draw in nonbelievers.

To you. It felt like that to you. Because this was. not. a story. for. you. I came into it blind, with zero previous knowledge of the franchise, not having seen the pilot. I understood it fine. And I was only half-paying attention the first time. It's pretty clear you weren't even paying that much attention.

The series is set in a cartoonish version of Hell very loosely based on Christian mythology,

I don't know how to explain to you that this is based more heavily on deep biblical lore than most other media with religious undertones that I've seen. Like, having grown up in "the church," a lot of the lore they're pulling on isn't even christian lore! It's a lot of shit that isn't considered canon by most christians (and oh, boy, is it fun to explain to people that canon is a word that originally meant "decided upon by -insert old religious officials here- that it was good enough to be included in the official bible. Seriously, try reading the non-canon books of the bible some time! They're actually pretty fucking cool lol). Lilith is not a recognized figure in most christianity. She just doesn't exist in their texts or beliefs. The seven sins aren't christian, either. They're heavily catholic. So, no. This is not "loosely based on christian mythology".

Once a year, Hell is attacked by angels in order to curb “overpopulation” among the sinful human souls, with Exorcists randomly slaughtering them in the streets. This is obviously a bad thing. (Of course, citizens of Hell are already slaughtering each other all the time, but I think they, like��� respawn, or something? And only angel weapons make them stay dead? I don’t know, the show doesn’t really explain this all that clearly.)

I'm sorry you can't see the difference between angels of heaven slaughtering thousands of human souls once a year and the occasional demon/soul killing someone.

Eventually she does manage to find a benefactor, but only by making a deal with one of the most dangerous demons in Hell: Alastor the Radio Demon. 

She explicitly did not make a deal with Alastor?? For someone who claims to have watched the pilot, you sure did miss a lot of details.

And it’s harder to give it the benefit of the doubt when it’s gone from being an indie passion project to being a major tentpole animation release for Amazon, with a star-studded red carpet premiere and billboards all over Times Square.

This just. Have you not seen how horribly the "major release for Amazon with a star-studded red carpet premier" of AtLA is going? That is like, the worst thing to happen to a story. Please. (Yes, I know it's coming to Netflix. Potato Potahto.)

But yes, the characters swear a lot. Like, constantly. . . .but most of the time it just reminds me of dorky Tumblr and Twitter users who have to say shit like “Okay listen up chucklefucks, everyone buckle the FUCK up for this motherfucking thread!” Like, please, dial it back a notch.

Could you . . . miss the point more? Again. You're not the target audience here. People swear in real life. AND IT'S HELL.

It feels like one of those things that would’ve been pitched via concept art on Tumblr back in the day, and people would’ve been like “OMG!! Everyone reblog this, we NEED to turn this into a real show!!!” And that would’ve been the end of it. Except they actually went and made the damn show.

I'm not super familiar with the history of the show, but I'm . . . relatively sure that's kind of what happened. It was a show that started on YouTube, made by an independent animation team, and the internet made such a big deal out of it that Amazon picked it up. Like I'm sorry you hate small creators getting opportunities??

The big one is that almost every single male character seems to have been designed in a lab to be a “Tumblr Sexyman.” (The women, on the other hand, all look like Monster High dolls.) If you did a drinking game where you took a shot every time a new character was introduced who’s extremely thin with a top hat, bow tie, a big evil grin with sharp teeth, and Roaring Twenties overtones, you would die of alcohol poisoning halfway through the season.

I know for a fact that you bring up later that HH takes place in the first ring of hell, which is Lucifer's ring, Pride. And Lucifer's entire aesthetic is . . . circus. Showman. Roaring 20s. Charlie's dressed like a damn ring-master for dogs sake (genuine typo that I decided to keep lol). Don't you think Lucifer's realm would, idk, be entirely his aesthetic?!

For one, many designs are overly detailed, which I can only imagine is a nightmare for the animators responsible for making them move frame by frame.

Are you an animator? Did an animator tell you it was a nightmare? Oh, no, you're just guessing based on the complexity of the character designs? Got it.

But, again, when you’ve got an army of overworked animators who have to worry about making sure Husk has all the multicolored dots on his wings in every frame, it might be time to show some restraint.

Oh, no! Animators have to stay on model! The horror! It's not as though they're doing a lot of this on computers and aren't individually hand-drawing every single spot on Husk's body every frame. And also like?? He's got a total of what, 10 spots on each wing?? I didn't even notice his playing card aesthetic at first, so it's not like it's so overly in-your-face that it's all you can gd see about him.

As is often the case with younger artists who indulge in these sort of things,

I don't need to quote the rest of this sentence. People like you are the reason kids are afraid to share their art. People like you are the reason young writers don't think they're good enough. I have very, very strong opinions about people like you. I'm restraining myself. Heavily.

Most notably, there’s a glaring lack of body diversity on the show, with almost every character being thin and lanky with a snatched waist.

Yes. Notable. Not necessarily something to worry about, though, considering a little something called "art style," but I can see how it might be concerning. But a lot of this is also like . . . we're talking about a show where half the cast is vaguely humanoid creatures like sharks, spiders, and winged cats. Is realistic human body diversity really the sticking point, here?

 It can be hard to tell where one character ends and another begins when they’re close together, especially when the backgrounds are frequently dominated by the same colors. Take this group hug from the finale, for instance:

I'm sorry are we seriously arguing that a color scheme that is highly thematic is somehow a flaw? ;-;

The inhabitants of Hell are broadly categorized into two groups. There are, of course, natural Hellborn demons, who are exempt from the exterminations. Charlie, for example. But most of the characters are “sinner demons” — the reborn souls of humans who died and went to Hell for their sins. There’s no way to differentiate the two at a glance, because every character design is just kind of whatever Vivzie wanted them to look like.

Do we . . . need to be able to distinguish them? Is that important to . . . anything? Also I'm pretty sure the hell-born ones are pretty typically the more overtly designed ones. The ones who are overlords or whatever are the ones who are actual rulers over what amounts to districts in this first ring (I can't remember rn if the other rings have overlords. I know they're ruled by the Sins).

As far as I can remember, there’s no explanation given for why people turn into furries and monster people and Once-lers and object heads and all sorts of other things when they die and go to the Christian Hell in this universe. Some of them gain overt themes, like Alastor being “The Radio Demon,” but others don’t. 

Do we need an explanation? No, seriously. Do we? And I understand that a lot of Alastor's background is explained in the pilot, but it's pretty clear that he "gained an overt theme" by being a ruthless fucker who more or less made that theme for himself. He earned his moniker, just like the other overlords did, by ruling his little chunk of the first ring and literally murdering his way into the public eye.

They also gain random magic powers, with some of them being insanely powerful! As far as I can remember, there’s never any explanation for any of this. 

Do we ever see anyone other than an actual overlord or Sin use this sort of power? I guess Sir Pentious does. But again, I'm not sure this needs an explanation. This is the sort of thing you can kind of infer. I was sort of under the impression that their power sort of came from their skill. Alastor mercilessly destroyed several overlords (though it's possible he was somehow especially powerful of a human soul to begin with, because tbh what sort of human soul could rival an overlord normally?) and I figured with each consecutive overlord defeated, he gained more and more power. Hell, it's possible some of these powers come from the amount of souls they have bound to them. We know Alastor has at least two, Husk and Niffty. My point is, it's hell. Most of the ones with "powers" are overlords, and the ones who aren't are well on their way to becoming one (Pentious is, despite his kinda goofy nature, a skilled inventor and not un-skilled in battle. I think he just lacks the actual drive/ruthlessness to get to overlord status).

But then you look at the Exorcist angels, who also just look like Hot Topic demons!!

*insert heavy sobs here* You're. You're calling. The purposefully faceless and identityless Exorcists. Who are literally designed. to all look the same. for a ton of reasons. poor character design.

In Hazbin, they don’t even really fit the theme of the Christian Heaven and Hell. If this was just a vague “underworld,” that would be one thing, but the very first scene in the Amazon show is about Adam and Lilith in the damn Garden of Eden! I never thought I’d find myself complaining about how a show didn’t have a good enough excuse to write in a giantess scene girl feathered dinosaur woman, but here we are.

*crying in 'do you know what examining familiar tropes and themes in a new way even is'*

A design is supposed to tell you a lot about the character at a glance, but the vast majority of characters here just recycle Vivzie’s favorite visual details over and over again — bow ties, top hats, sharp teeth, big evil smiles, mismatched eyes, pinstriped suits — to the point that it becomes impossible for any of these things to be seen as meaningful character choices.

See my earlier point about it being Lucifer's ring of hell, and therefore heavily following his aesthetic. But also. . .

Charlie: Familial similarities to Lucifer and Lilith both, in her facial features, her height, and her style.

Vaggie: Her skin-tone and style pretty clearly mark her as different from most of the other cast. She's gray/purple (as commented on by Sir Pentious pretty early on, actually). No one else in Hell looks quite like she does, and that's an early sign that she's not from Hell. The closest similarity is Carmine, and her sclera are an unusual color, as are most demons'.

Husker: His very obvious playing card aesthetic calls back to his gambling addiction, and the casino he apparently owns? He's a poker lover, and his aesthetic shows that pretty clearly.

Angel: HE HAS LITERAL HEARTS ALL OVER HIS BODY. HE IS PINK AND WHITE, PRETTY TYPICAL ROMANCE-ASSOCIATED COLORS. I DON'T KNOW. HOW MUCH CLEARER. YOU COULD MAKE IT. THAT HE'S SEXY WITH A FAR MORE SOFT/ROMANTIC SIDE THAN YOU MIGHT GUESS BASED ON HIS JOB AND PERSONALITY.

Like, I could keep going, but . . . do I need to?

When Lucifer finally shows up halfway through the show, it lands with a complete thud. There’s nothing to make him stand out visually as the ruler of Hell and the literal fucking Christian Devil, because he just looks like every other Once-ler-ass side character on this goddamn show. He doesn’t even look or sound old enough to be Charlie’s dad!!!

*more crying sounds* He is the originator of the entire. fucking. aesthetic. He is not "the literal fucking christian devil," and you'd know that if you had any fucking knowledge of biblical lore beyond "haha Lucifer is da debil, he should be red with horns and a heart-spiked tail and pitchfork." This is also a universe where characters who have literally been around for millenia look whatever fucking age they want. Did you see Adam? He was hundreds of years old by the time he died, but he's *gasp* a 30-something year old man in the show?? Unrealistic!

Like I said, Charlie is very much a Disney Princess. Played by Broadway star Erika Henningsen (perhaps known as the original lead in the Mean Girls musical), Charlie is an upbeat, idealistic young woman with absent parents who sings about wanting to follow her dreams. She even has an animal companion in the form of KeeKee, a cute little cyclops cat thing that turns into a giant hotel key, though confusingly I’m not sure it ever actually does anything in the story, and its presence is rarely even acknowledged in the dialogue.

She's a princess, sure. Idk of any disney princess who transforms into a demonic entity when she's pissed off enough to stop projecting her perfect image to the people around her, though. And oh no, the pet of a character didn't actually do anything in the story?? THE HORROR! NOTHING CAN EVER BE SHOWN ON SCREEN THAT DOES NOT ADVANCE THE PLOT IN SOME WAY.

Like, knowing the basics of the show, you’d expect the songs to be funny, right?

W-why? Why would I expect them to be funny?

The whole point of Charlie being such an out of place character in Hell gets muddled when damn near every��character is playing their Disney-style musical numbers completely straight.

I don't think it's her singing that makes her an out of place character. Again: This is Lucifer's ring of hell here. What other explanation do you need for characters to break out into song in their very broadway show parodying universe?

Take Adam, for example. For some reason, Adam’s whole thing is that he’s a horrible dudebro misogynist who’s constantly talking about sex.

That. Is. The. Fucking. Point.

Adam was, canonically, a man who was given complete control and authority over his first wife, Lilith. When he tried to exercise that control, and refused to let her be on top for fucking once, she "defied" him and was banished. Because he was a controlling asshole who was grandfathered into heaven by default.

This leaves us with a story about privilege and double standards, where the sinners in Hell are deemed worthy of death for their misdeeds, while Adam can do whatever he wants and get away with it because he’s already in Heaven. And I guess there’s kinda something there, but man, the way this show talks about (and doesn’t talk about) conservative Christian morals and puritanism and the idea of redemption is such a fucking mess. 

It's really not. Growing up in "the church" was exactly like this. It was hypocrisy and cruelty everywhere you looked, excused by the fact that the perpetrator was "such a good, godly" person. In most christian doctrine, "getting saved" means you are completely guaranteed entrance to heaven, no matter how you used to live your life, or how you behave after "being saved". It fits perfectly into christian doctrine that once you're in heaven, you'd be able to act however you fucking wanted, because, hey, you're in heaven aren't you? Clearly if you weren't a good person you wouldn't be there, and that means however you act is the way a good person acts.

Yes. Charlie’s girlfriend, the only lesbian on the main cast, is named Vaggie.

Do we know she's a lesbian? Why do you discount Charlie, here? Couldn't Vaggie just as easily be bi or pan, as I'm presuming you assume Charlie must be?

Also oh my gods, you're seriously somehow pissed that they made her name Vaggie, short for Vagina? You do realize that isn't her name because, like, her parents named her that, or because she found out she liked girls and named herself that, right? She's named that because Adam probably created her, and in the most frat-boy straight guy choice in the world, named her "after his favorite thing." It has nothing to do with her being into Charlie (and potentially being a lesbian). It's an indiction of Adam's obsession with the one thing he loves women for: their vaginas.

In an early episode she briefly puts on a drill sergeant act, and it’s so forced and half-hearted that I questioned if we were genuinely supposed to believe that Vaggie has some sort of military background. As we learn in episode 6, though, it turns out she does have a military background. 

No she doesn't *more quiet sobbing* she really, really doesn't. She has a background as a being who was (probably) created by Adam, specifically to be his little playthings. They believed they were indestructible and therefore didn't learn to fight, had no actual formal training, and also have zero obvious military structure. It's Adam at the top, and the Exorcists all about even beneath him. And it's incredibly intentional that they're all women and all subservient to him.

Almost every line that comes out of his mouth is about his sexual prowess, or about wanting to fuck every other male character he meets, or about his gag reflex, or about how he wants somebody to fill his holes, or about how something another character said could be interpreted in a sexual way, or about how his chest fluff looks kinda like a pair of tits and his partners love that, or about how he thinks the gang should resolve their current problem by letting him film a porno. He drags Charlie and co. into sexual situations that make them uncomfortable for laughs, whether it’s taking them to a BDSM club or making them watch some of his porn as a group. This shtick gets old immediately. It’s as if every scene has an invisible timer ticking away, and when it goes off that’s Angel’s cue to randomly interject with something like “Hey, did you guys know I love suckin’ dick?” And if he’s not talking about sex, chances are he’s talking about how much he loves drugs. His name is “Angel Dust,” after all.

You have zero understanding of Angel, his character, his story, or gay culture in general.

Niffty exists to be the obligatory “gremlin” archetype character, because fandoms eat that kind of thing up. She’s small, cute, mischievous, and hyperactive, but ALSO she loves murder. There’s very little to her because she’s a pure comic relief character.

Nifty came off as incredibly neurodivergent-coded to me. She's a gremlin because so many of us neurodivergent folks are self-professed gremlins, myself included. And I did mention her "weird" characterization in my original post about this, but let me go into a little more detail here.

Neurodivergence is incredibly stigmatized in "the church". Autism and ADHD are nothing more than convenient excuses for lazy sinners who just need to pray harder for self-discipline. She is "weird" because she . . . what, likes to clean? Because she takes specific pleasure in killing insects because cleaning is her special interest? She's socially inept and unaware of how weird she comes off? She focuses more on cleaning when she's drunk than literally anything else? Sorry, is that not screaming of a right-wing asshole's depiction of a neurodivergent person who deserves hell for being "weird" and "crazy?" Or who would only get to heaven once they're "fixed"?

For a while we weren’t sure whether or not Niffty is supposed to be a child. She’s the size of a child, and half the time she’s written like a child that’s had too much sugar, such as when the gang is hanging out at a bar and Niffty doesn’t seem to understand what people do in bars. But in one episode when Angel Dust brings the gang to a BDSM club she puts on a black latex dominatrix outfit, so uh… I guess she’s an adult.

Oh, neurodivergent person accused of being childlike? We've never seen that before, I'm sure. Also. . . YOU. YOU weren't sure if she was a child or not. In a show like this, with a cast of adults, you couldn't work out that she was supposed to be an adult??

Continued in PT 2 of ???

[xxchaotic]

Everlasting - Chapter Two : Information Overload

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction (obviously) based on Twilight. I don’t own the storyline or any characters involved. 

Chapter Summary: Y/N wakes up in Sam and Emily’s home and attempts to leave without being seen. She’s confronted by several members of the pack, and they convince her to stay in order to explain things to her. Jacob brings Bella in to check on Y/N during this explanation and drama ensues. Even more so when, after more pack members arrive, she’s imprinted on. For the second time.

Fic Summary: Y/N Swan is the younger sister of Bella Swan. After months of her sister lying to her and their father, Y/N decides to ignore Bella’s wishes and go for a hike in the woods. A hike that ultimately changes the course of her life. When a pale woman with burning red eyes attacks her and a pack of abnormal large wolves saves her life, Y/N truly thinks she has gone crazy. When the wolf disappears and returns as a boy, however, it becomes too much. She passes out right there in the forrest and later wakes to find that she’s been thrown into a world of supernatural beings, one of which is hell bent on killing her sister. There is no foreseeable way out, no way to forget what she’s seen, and Y/N isn’t sure that she can handle all of it. But, hey, at least she found her soulmate. Er, both of them.

Fic Masterlist

      Waking up in an unfamiliar home wasn’t quite as terrifying as you’d think. Partially because the home was so cozy and welcoming, and partially because- with what you’d just been through- not a lot could scare you right now.

      You halfway sat up on the couch you’d been placed on, blinking as you looked around slowly. There were two doors on each end of the tiny living room that you’d been resting in and both of them were open. One led into what you assumed was a kitchen while the other led outside onto a front porch. Small noises sounded from the kitchen every once in a while, such as the clinking of dishes and the rush of water from a faucet, telling you that someone was definitely in there. From what you could tell it was silent outside.

      Being careful to make no noise- just as you’d done when trying to sneak out of your own house this morning- you swung your feet over the side of the couch and placed them on the floor. Thankfully your shoes were still on. Hesitantly, you stood and took a few deliberate steps towards the front door. Nobody rushed out to stop you, as you half expected, and you picked up the pace after a moment in hopes of getting out as quickly as possible.

      As you made your way to the door, you continuously looked over your shoulder to check the kitchen doorway behind you. The water was still running and the dishes could still be heard clinking together, but you feared that whoever was in there would come out at some point and catch you leaving. 

      This fear had you so distracted that you were still looking over your shoulder when you exited the front door and stepped onto the wide porch. Nobody had confronted you yet and, feeling safe, you turned to descend the steps. Your movements ceased, however, when you were met with the sight of several tall, muscle-y boys standing out in the yard. Each one of them had inky black hair and tanned skin. Each one of them wore only a pair of cut off jean shorts, despite the cold weather. And each one of them had their eyes set on you.

      Their expressions ranged from curiosity to amusement and you regarded each one of them individually, unsure whether or not you should speak first. You didn’t have to consider it for very long before the tallest of the boys stepped forward and cleared his throat. “My name’s Sam. I know you’re probably scared and confused, but we aren’t going to hurt you-“

      “You saved me,” you blurted before he finished speaking. He didn’t seem upset at the interruption, choosing to simply raise his eyebrows in surprise at your choice of words while the other boys watched the interaction in silence. “I’m right, aren’t I?” you continued, addressing all of them now. “You all saved me from that woman with the red eyes.”

      This seemed to surprise them, and they exchanged glances while you awaited an answer. Perhaps they hadn’t been expecting you to piece things together so easily, or perhaps they weren’t expecting you to have such a casual attitude when referring to the events from earlier. Either way, it took them a moment to decide how to respond.

      “Yeah, we saved you,” another one of the boys finally replied, his tone a bit smug. You turned to face him, prepared to fire off another question, but the words died before they passed your lips. Standing beside the boy who’d just spoken was the one that had been with you in the forrest. The one who’s eyes you’d been looking into when you passed out. Facing him now, you marveled once again at how his dark eyes were exactly those of the wolf that you’d been face to face with.

      “You know what she was?” asked Sam, referring to the red headed woman as he redirected your attention to him. You were reluctant to tear your gaze from the boy you were staring at, but you did so in order to deal with the situation at hand. It was important to you that your questions were answered.

      “The only thing I know for sure is that one minute I’m hiking, and the next I’m being attacked by some woman with red eyes. Then I’m being saved by a pack of-.. of..” Taking a breath, you waited a moment in order to steady yourself. Your voice was becoming slightly hysterical. Once you felt in control again, you continued. “Then I’m being saved by a pack of wolves, who actually turn out to be people. And I’m not sure if this is all real, or if I’m in some fever dream, or if I’m just crazy.”

      Suddenly, rather than expressions of curiosity and amusement, you were now surrounded by expressions of sympathy and concern. It made you uncomfortable and you began to fidget, wishing that someone else would say something to take the attention off of you. Thankfully, your wish was granted.

      “I promise you’re not crazy, and you’re not in a fever dream,” said the boy you’d been staring at earlier. Despite how little he’d spoken before, in the forrest, his voice still sounded familiar and you turned your gaze to him once again. “This is all real and we can explain all of it. It’s just gonna take a little while. Jake is gone to get Bella now, so-“

      For the second time that day, you spoke up without care that you were interrupting. “Hold on. Did you say Jake- as in Jacob- is getting Bella? My sister? What does she have to do with all of this?” Glances were exchanged amongst them again, and then Sam took control of the conversation once more. “We have a lot to talk about.”

******

      The amount of information that had been dumped on you in a such a short amount of time was overwhelming. At some point or another you found yourself back inside the tiny home, sitting on the same couch that you’d woken up on, with all the boys crowded in around you. Sam’s girlfriend, Emily, had come in with freshly baked cookies and drinks for everyone, but your stomach didn’t feel up to the task of holding anything down right now.

      “So let me get this straight,” you stated after a few moments of silence, everyone else busying themselves with scarfing down cookies. “You guys are shifters- you turn into gigantic wolves- and you kill vampires that invade your territory. And the woman that attacked me- Victoria- was a vampire. One that is apparently hell-bent on killing my sister. Because my sister’s boyfriend and his family- also vampires, but ‘vegetarian’ ones- killed Victoria’s vampire boyfriend. After he, also, tried to kill Bella.” Your short speech, meant to summarize everything they’d told you, earned a few laughs from them.

      “Yeah, that’s pretty much the gist of it,” Sam said across from you, unable to hide the slightly amused smile that pulled at his lips. Emily had squeezed into the open space beside him in the armchair that he occupied, and his arm was wound tightly around her, holding her to him. On the small love seat a few feet away sat Jared and Seth, while Paul had taken up residence next to you on the couch.

      They’d informed you that Embry, Leah, and Quil- three other members of the pack- were currently out on patrol in order to confirm that Victoria was no longer in the area. Jacob had left to find Bella and bring her back after telling her what had happened, because you’d received several missed calls from her in the time that you were unconscious. The two of them couldn’t be very far away. 

      “Why are you telling me all this?” You wondered aloud, your head dropping into your hands as you tried to process everything they’d told you. Your mind was reeling. “Wouldn’t it just be easier for you all to pretend that I’m crazy?”

      A minute or two of silence passed, and you glanced up through your fingers to see why they hadn’t answered you. Everyone’s gaze had turned to Paul, apparently leaving it up to him to answer you, and you turned to look into his dark eyes. Unsurprisingly, he was already looking at you. You’d caught him doing so more than once.

      “Well,” he started slowly, scratching the back of his neck as though he was uncomfortable. It looked out of character for him. “There’s certain abilities that we have as shifters, right? Like certain things we can do, or things that happen to us, that isn’t possible for regular people. We’re fast- faster than the leeches, even. And strong. We heal extremely quickly. We can communicate through our thoughts while we’re in our wolf form. And.. Uh, well.. There’s this thing called imprinting.”

      You couldn’t help but hang on his every word. His voice drew you in, and his eyes seemed unwilling to let go of yours, so that it seemed like it was only the two of you in the room. So focused on hearing what he had to say, you completely missed the entrance of Jacob and Bella.

      “Y/N, are you okay?” Bella demanded, rushing in and coming to check on you, cutting Paul off in the process. Jacob lingered by the open doorway, his arms crossing as he rolled his eyes at her reaction. “Bells, I told you twenty times already that she’s fine.” 

      “Yeah, he’s right. I’m fine,” you insisted, wincing as she pulled you into a tight hug. This was surprising, considering your sister wasn’t very touchy-feely. She pulled away after a moment or two, her hands still on your shoulders as she surveyed you, no doubt searching for injuries. Of course her eyes zeroed in on your bruised wrist.

      As soon as you realized what she was looking at you reached up with your other hand and covered the bruises, just as you’d done with Paul. Her expression was hard, angry, and you knew that you were in for a lecture when the two of you were no longer surrounded by people.

      “It’s nothing. Just a bruise,” you muttered, looking away. You refused to meet her gaze, refused to see that look in her eyes that said, ‘I told you so’. It was a look you’d seen too many times in the few short years the two of you had lived together.

      Your eyes met Paul’s over Bella’s shoulder. His face held a slew of emotions, the most obvious of which were worry and affection. The latter confused you, though you weren’t complaining. He was very good looking, after all, and despite the serious situation you felt an attraction to him. Slowly, hesitantly, you gave him a small smile in hopes of erasing the worry that you could tell he felt. You were surprised when he returned the smile only a second later.

      “Thank you for taking care of her,” Bella said, interrupting your train of thought as she addressed Sam. The pack as a whole had saved you, of course, but it was easier to thank the alpha rather than everybody individually. “I think I should take her home now, give her time to process everything.” The words weren’t fully out of her mouth when you started shaking your head, frowning up at her. “No, no way. We weren’t finished yet.”

      Paul had been cut off in the middle of his explanation, and you at least wanted to finish speaking with him. What he’d been telling you had seemed very important and you couldn’t leave without allowing him to give you the details. Unfortunately for you, Bella seemed unwilling to wait.

      “You’ve heard enough for one day,” she pointed out, pulling on your uninjured wrist to get you to stand. “You can wait to hear the rest.” You jerked away from her grasp, taking a small step back as you glared at her. The words that next left your mouth were venomous, unforgiving. 

      “Why, so you can have time to come up with another lie?”

      Deep down, you knew she’d been lying to protect you. You knew that this whole world you’d happened across was dangerous, and that Bella only wanted her sister to be safe. She’d been dealing with it all on her own for way too long. But there was still a sense of bitterness that lingered within you, and you couldn’t bring yourself to be forgiving at all right now.

      Bella took a step back, just as you had, and stared at you open-mouthed. “Y/N, you don’t understand-“ “What?” you wondered, cutting her off as you crossed your arms. “I don’t understand what? That you haven’t said a single, honest thing to me in God-knows how long? That you’ve been bringing a monster into our house, putting us in danger? You can’t just pretend everything’s normal right now, Bella.”

      Your harsh tone had obviously shocked her into silence and Jacob stepped up from his position by the doorway, a frown painting his face. “I think that’s enough, Y/N. You got your point across.” He’d been walking forward as he spoke and came to a stop just behind Bella, which barely allowed for enough room when Paul rose off the couch. “She has a right to be mad, Jake.”

      You were appreciative of the fact that he was defending you and you gave him a grateful look, despite the fact that he wasn’t currently looking at you. Jacob glared at him at the same time, ready to side with Bella no matter how obvious it was that she was in the wrong. “Ah, shut up Paul,” he sneered, gesturing between his friend and you. “The only reason you’re defending her is because she’s your imprint.”

      Even though the words were confusing to you, they seemed to mean a whole hell of a lot to everyone else. Bella turned to Jacob, a shriek of, “What?!” leaving her lips, while Paul made a move to grab Jacob. Sam jumped up to come between the two of them, demanding that they both calm down, while everyone else just watched in shocked silence.

      The commotion was so loud that nobody was aware of three other people joining the crowd until one of them spoke. “What the hell is going on?” a girl’s voice yelled, somehow breaking through the rest of the noise and quieting everyone. She stood on the other side of Jacob, Sam, and Paul, her eyes focused on the three of them. This must be Leah. Behind her stood two boys, no doubt the Quil and Embry that you’d heard about earlier. 

      “Same as usual. Paul’s being a dick,” Jacob taunted, as Paul simultaneously growled, “Jacob doesn’t know when to quit running his mouth.” Leah was apparently uninterested in the argument and simply rolled her eyes, facing Sam for a brief moment to inform him that the surrounding woods were clear. The alpha thanked her and she moved in, followed closely by the two boys. The one you assumed was Quil- thanks to his dark curls and goofy grin- made a beeline for the kitchen, and the other- Embry- lingered next to you and Bella.

      You turned to glance at him, wondering if you were in his way, and found him already staring at you. Your eyes met his, completely by accident if you were being honest, and for a moment everything seemed to stop. He froze in place, much like Paul had when he’d first seen you in his wolf form, and you blushed at the awed expression he wore.

      “Are you okay?” you asked him after a moment, your voice small compared to those of the others in the room, but it still attracted attention to the two of you. First Paul, then Sam, Bella, Jacob, until everyone followed suit and turned to look at the two of you. For the first time that day, everyone seemed at a complete loss for words. Unbeknownst to you, this was new territory for them. 

      “Wait.. Did you just..?” asked Quil from the kitchen doorway, hand frozen mid air from where he’d been about to bite into his cookie. Immediately afterwards Paul spoke up, his words growled out from between clenched teeth. “No. That’s not possible. Right, Sam?”

      Sam never responded. He seemed to be trying to reason through it all in his head, and several pairs of eyes turned to look at him as the question hung in the air. Eventually you became fed up with the silence and decided to ask a question of your own. 

      “What exactly is going on?” you demanded, looking back and forth between Paul, Embry, and Sam. Surely if anybody were going to answer your question, it would be one of them. None of them said a word, though, and your nerves started to eat at you as the seconds ticked by. Finally your sister looked over at you, apparently as shaken as everyone else in the room.

      “You were.. Imprinted on. Again.”

[natandacat]

The Untamed/Mo Dao Zu Shi characters... as birds! Part 1 : Yi City disaster found family

Starting with A-Qing because she deserves some spotlight!

Brood parasitism? Bet you don’t know where I’m going with this...

Anyway, time for some romance!

Love is real and nothing bad ever happened to anyone on this post :’)

Coming up next: Lotus Pier (expect a LOT of waterfowl)

(Also here’s a link to the obligatory disclaimer post/pedantic rant)

Image IDs for the presentation slides. They are all black and feature pictures of birds and text in slightly off-grey white.

[Slide 1: Title reads: "A-Qing : Black Drongo - 黑卷尾(hei juan-wei) (dicrurus macrocercus)“. Left picture shows A-Qing from the Untamed, a young girl wearing rough purple and dark blue robes and carrying a stick. Right picture shows a Black Drongo, a medium-sized all black passerine bird, standing on top of pink flowers. In the middle, text reads:

“A common victim of brood parasitism by the Asian Koel… put a pin in that

They are very clever and use the environment (especially the behavior of other nearby birds) to better hunt –and isn’t A-Qinq adept at using people’s expectations and prejudices in her favor?

They often stay close to noisy birds (such as Common Myrnas); it’s been theorized that they use their commotion-inducing behavior to their advantage –which is reminiscent of how quick she is to make to make the best out of a situation”]

[Slide 2: Left pictures show a Shikra, a small bird of prey with a whitish underside with fine rufous bars, grey upperparts and orange eyes, and a juvenile Black Drongo showing the species’ distinctive forked tail and lighter spots of grey on its abdomen typical of immature individuals. A speech bubble coming from the Black Drongo and overlapping with the Shikra reads: “I’m just as scary if you squint!” Text next to these pictures reads: “Can imitate the sound of the shikra (pictured left, a favorite among falconers for how well they can be trained) in order to scare other birds to get better access to food… not saying parallels with daozhang BUT YES parallels with how she made herself appealing to Xiao Xingchen”. Picture below shows a juvenile Black Drongo whose back, head and wings are spotted with white dots, another immature trait. Thinking speech bubble reads: “I may be cute but don’t fucking under-estimate me”. Right pictures show a Javan hawk-eagle, a medium sized bird of prey with a rufous body, dark brown wings and a long dark brown crest atop its head; a Black eagle, an all black eagle with yellow skin around its beak and eyes, and another juvenile Black Drongo. A speech bubble coming from the Black Drongo and overlapping with both birds of prey reads: “I can totally take those mfs in a fight!” Text below reads: “Small but very aggressive: often successfully attack eagles, such as Javan hawk-eagles (left) and Black eagles (right)”.]

[Slide 3: Title reads: “Xue Yang : Common Koel - 噪鹃 (jao-zuan) (eudynamys scolopaceus)”. Left picture shows Xue Yang from the Untamed, a man wearing patterned grey robes and crossing his arms. Right picture shows an Common Koel, a cuckoo with sleek black feathers and bright red eyes. Text in the middle reads:

“Gorgeous black & red fashion style, worthy of a Yiling Laozu fanboy :)

Their name means “noisy cuckoo” and well… no one ever accused Xue Yang of being quiet

Don’t always attempt to kill the chicks, which is uncharacteristic for brood parasites. Some say it might be out of fear that the parents may abandon the nest otherwise, and not feed them anymore… Not like Xue Yang experiences any fear of abandonment which influences his behavior ahah no that’s crazy

Do very well in captivity as pets :)”]

[Slide 4: Picture 1 shows an Common Koel holding a black round berry in its beak. Text reads: “Omnivorous, but can be mainly frugivorous (an exception among cuckoos!) I am loosely tying this to how domestic Xue Yang is for a mass murderer”. Picture 2 shows a juvenile Common Koel with black eyes begging for food from a mature House Crow, a light grey-brown crow with a black forehead, throat and wings. Thinking speech bubble coming from the Common Koel reads: “I’m totally not a mass murderer, daozhang give me some candy plz”. Text reads: “Koels are brood parasites, which means they lay eggs in the nest of other species in order to get free food & housing at the expense of the poor overworked parents by posing as one of theirs… fitting for “Chengmei”! Remember how A-Qinq’s bird is often a victim of that behavior? (Pictured above is a juvenile being fed by a House Crow)”. Picture 3 shows an Common Koel hanging upside down from a branch. Text reads: “They can get a bit sillay :)”. Picture 4 shows a mature Common Koel with its mouth wide open. Text reads: “They have a large gape ;-) (it’s my powerpoint and I get to make the silly dirty jokes)”.] Note (not ID): apparently the classification has changed, and this bird should be called the Asian Koel now.

[Slide 5: Title reads: “Xiao Xingchen : White-tailed Tropicbird - 白尾鹲 (bai-wei meng) (phaethon lepturus)”. Left picture shows Xiao Xingchen from the Untamed, a man wearing white robes. Right picture shows a White-tailed Tropicbird, a slender white seabird with a long central tail feather matching the length of its body, it has a black band on the inner wing, a black eye-mask, and an orange-yellow to orange-red bill. Text in the middle reads:

“Tropicbirds are usually solitary or live in pairs when they’re away from their breeding colonies… Which checks out since Xiao Xingchen left the mountain alone and then started travelling in pair with Song Lan :’)

In some places they’re called paille-en-queue (French for “straw-in-tail”) or even fétu-en-cul (similarly, “twig-in-ass”) which I think is exactly the kind of humor that would make him laugh

I chose a bird that has a mating dance compatible with Song Lan’s bird because they are very much an iconic couple, thanks for coming to my TedTalk”]

[Slide 6: Left picture shows a White-tailed Tropicbird gliding above water. Text reads: “Mating dance: When a couple has found each other, they separate from the others. The partners ascend together to great heights (up to a few hundred meters) in order to glide down synchronously. Typically, one partner flies directly above the other and lowers its wings while the lower one raises its wings so the wing tips almost touch each other.” Middle picture shows two individuals flying one above the other, the tail of the one flying on top reaches down to touch the wings of its partner below. Text reads: “The elongated tail feathers are often bent downward or are waved back and forth so that they make touch their partner. The partners often swap roles during the descent.” Right picture shows a White-tailed Tropicbird hovering above ground as it lands. Text reads: “This one may be mostly an aesthetic choice but c’mon… tell me this is not the bright moon and gentle breeze… This is the most elegant bird I know, and that’s saying a lot”.]

[Slide 7: Title reads: “Song Lan : White-throated Needletail - 白喉针尾雨燕 (bai-hou zhen-wei yu-yan) (hirundapus caudacutus)”. Left picture shows Song Lan from the Untamed, a man wearing grey robes and carrying a sword on his back. Right picture shows a White-throated Needletail, a dark olive brown swift with a robust, barrel-like body, a white throat and a white patch extending from the base of the tail to the flanks. Text in the middle reads:

“Swifts tend to live in a completely different world –their legs are extremely short, so they are physically unable to take off from land. They sleep, eat, mate in flight, only settling down to lay eggs. If they get stuck on land, they often end up dying of dehydration. There is a tragic analogy to draw with Song Lan, and how unintentionally getting caught in sect business led to him losing everything…

On a personal note, I am fascinated by them, and I always wait for their return in spring –the same way   common people might wait for the daozhangs to come help them for no profit :’)”]

[Slide 8: Middle picture shows two White-throated Needletails, one of them flying high above the other; they seem to be soaring through the blue sky. Text reads: “Mating dance (to match Xiao Xingchen): Two, sometimes three birds (Xue Yang you have a chance!), chase each other through the skies. The birds in the group take a plunge one after the other, almost vertically, plummeting into the depths, only to regain their original height after a dive of about 12 meters and soaring together.” Left picture shows a White-throated Needletail; from above, the light patch of feather on its back is visible, and the feathers on the base of the wings have a blueish hue. Speech bubble reads: “I am very fast and I’m not even cheating with gravity!” Text reads: “As a migratory bird, its range is truly impressive –from Western Europe to Australia, it is worthy of a worldly rogue cultivator! It’s also the fastest bird in the world in its category (flapping flight) with a maximum speed of 170 km/h! Other species need to nosedive in order to reach that kind of speed.” Right picture shows another White-throated Needletail shaking off water droplets in flight. Text reads: “Also do you know how hard it is to find good pictures of a bird that never lands? Be grateful for what you get”]

[yesimwriting]

Hello! Your Nikolai fic tranquility is so beautiful! Can you write more for Nikolai? Maybe the opposite with reader having a nightmare? Or whatever you want just please give me more! If you have a tagging list I'd love to be included btw :)

A/n hii!! first off,, thank you! i was a little nervous about writing him for the first time,, but i love him so much (even though i love a good villain/morally grey character in love i think nikolai would probably make the least toxic bf in the grishaverse lol)

you gave me a little too much freedom here lol bc i have so many ideas for him!! lowkey might need to give him a longer fic/series soon when i catch up with requests!! WOW THIS FIC IS SO LONG AND FOR WHAT

Summary: Reader is a handmaid who has grown up assisting Nikolai. Through the years, the two have developed a special relationship that most definitely breaks royal protocol--they’re best friends and rivals on a good day, and dangerously close to being something more the second either of them is remotely upset or extremely happy. Learning about the fact that Nikolai was almost engaged to Alina (a good friend of yours) and being reminded of the fact that as royalty Nikolai has many prospects (both serious women worthy of his title and women only suitable for trysts meant to relieve tension) has you both realizing something you should have years ago.

Word count: 31210

Warnings: disclaimer--may not be the most cannon thing ever,, but i wanted the ‘child of the help competes and falls in love with the child of royalty’ energy okay?? Lol

I could do a whole blurb series with this dynamic nikolai x reader,, like just stories of them growing up together and randomly realizing they might like each other romantically?? I probably shouldn’t rn but i ADORE this trope.

--

The perfection of the room is disappointing. Idle hands, idle thoughts--so I work to smooth out a perfect duvet. Still, the thoughts come--aggressive and unavoidable. It’s silly, maybe even sad, to feel possessive over something that’s never been yours, something that could never be yours, but the harder I fight off the feeling the stronger it grows. Jealousy is a weed growing quickly in my chest, vile roots planted firmly in my heart.

Normally my favorite part of the day would be waiting for Nikolai to return to his room in the palace after dinner and his evening duties. He’s always a bit softer in the evenings, during my last check-in of the day. I’m normally thrilled to be done organizing his room early because that means the second he arrives there will be no distraction. Most evenings, he’ll find me perched in the seat by his bed, reading. He’ll mock-scold me for daring to defy his orders and reading ahead from the book we both take turns reading aloud from each night. He then warns me that I better react exactly the way I did when I first read it or else. That threat is always followed by a gentle laugh.

Tonight I’m in no mood for our nightly banter or even our nightly reading. My mother had warned me of the dangers of getting too comfortable with the royal family. I should have heeded that warning when she first gave it to me, the morning she found Nikolai and I fast asleep on a couch in the library as children. The palace likes to bring up the children of the staff by training them to attend to the next generation of royals. It makes the staff more efficient, a lifetime of knowing what someone wants makes you better for them. It also creates some level of connection, making betrayal a little less likely. Nikolai and I might have taken it farther than most. But now I want a reminder of the way we’re supposed to be--maybe if I detach now the bleeding of my heart won’t kill me. That has to remain secret, because if I explain it to Nikolai something in me will break. The one line between us will be crossed.

This will be the sixth secret I’ve kept from Nikolai in my entire life.

--

The secrets:

I don’t know why I was picked for Nikolai. I wasn’t particularly skilled, but still, the day came when my mother was told that I now worked directly for the Lantsov boy. It’s an honor, a true one, but my mother had been a little nervous. To whom much is given, much is expected--and I detested Nikolai. Not for being a prince, but for being a prince who thought girls couldn’t race or fight.

The day my mother came looking for me because I never showed up for dinner and she found Nikolai and I attempting to fight in the way only a ten-year-old girl and eleven-year-old boy would, she had looked truly mortified. Nikolai had only laughed, either oblivious to my mother’s embarrassment or uncaring about it. He had then hugged me--an expression of care that had left me reeling. I saw him more as a rival than someone to tend to, but in that moment I saw him as a friend. Even more so when he told me he didn’t want me to go yet and that he was upset that so much of the day had been wasted by studies that kept him with boring people and away from me. And then he invited me to his lessons--my mother was quick to attempt to decline politely, but the desires of a prince at any age outweigh that of a mother.

After that, everyone kind of just stopped trying to remind us of our propriety. The tutor at first was concerned about my presence, but Nikolai remained stubborn. I wasn’t a big enough deal to cause an argument, so I began to attend lessons with him almost every day, only staying away when my mother needed aid with laundry or cleaning. His parents must have been somewhat aware of our friendship, but they must have been oblivious to our closeness because it was never mentioned.

My mother’s worry began to ease, she’d even started to take some pride when I’d come to our room proudly proclaiming that I scored two marks higher than Nikolai. She did, however, warn that it might be more tactful to let him score higher.

The comment was casual, just a suggestion, but it left me feeling wrong. It was the first time since we met that I had thought about our different statuses. I didn’t tell him--and that was the first secret I ever kept from him.

As we grew, we traded physical competition for academic rivalry, trying to best each other in both lessons and games of strategy like chess and cards. But with growing comes responsibility. Nikolai started to have obligations that were meant to be private. I couldn’t follow him at all times. But he’d always come back from locked door meetings grinning like he carried schoolyard gossip instead of government secrets. He shared everything with me, even when I playfully warned against it.

He’d always step closer when I teased that perhaps he shouldn’t tell me everything. And then he’d say, “If I can’t trust you, then I can’t trust anyone--and I don’t want to live in a world like that.” Often, he’d give my hand a light squeeze before moving on like he had not said anything intimate.

On a day in which Nikolai was in one of those meetings, I became a woman. When I first saw the blood, I had been horrified--but my mother was quick to explain that it was natural. She said that I was now a woman, a wonderful thing, really--but a thing that came with obligations. She told me that I could no longer have the impromptu ‘sleepovers’ with Nikolai unless he ordered it. I told her he’s never ordered me to do anything for him.

She didn’t ease, something in her had started to become nervous again. My mother had recently started to act the way she did when Nikolai and I first became friends. I didn’t want to fall asleep in Nikolai’s bed while I was bleeding, but I didn’t want to never have another sleepover with him again. Especially not when she refused to explain why being a woman changed so much.

I had decided to avoid Nikolai as much as possible until the sting of my mother’s new rule faded. Unfortunately, that night Nikolai was extra talkative--excited as he insisted I stay for a little longer. Soon, I found his familiar good naturedness melting away my nerves and before I knew it I was laughing in the middle of the night. When my eyelids started to feel heavy, I had moved from the chair, ready to head back to my room.

Nikolai had looked at me oddly before he asked why would I leave so late when it would be easier for me to just sleepover? It was an innocent question, he did not know about my change and I had wanted to keep it that way.

I tried playing coy, but Nikolai has always had a talent for getting around my better judgement. I don’t recall exactly how it happened, but I remember him standing in front of me. It was the first time I noticed how much had actually changed over the years--he was now taller than me for the first time in his life. His hair had started to grow a little longer, golden and soft-looking--and his face seemed much more angular. But he had not lost his boyish charm.

“Y/n?” My name fell softly from his lips, and that was the first time I had ever noted the fullness of them. I didn’t understand why I considered that something worth noting. “Did I do something to make you mad at me?”

Perhaps I had been a little curt--nerves and hormones had left me not feeling like myself. I didn’t tell him about the bleeding, I couldn’t. That became the second secret I kept from him--but I did tell him that my mother had told me I was a woman now, and that women can’t have sleepovers. Not with those of the opposite gender. I made no effort to hide my confusion because I expected him to be as perplexed as I was. But he was not confused--in fact, he had the audacity to laugh. My face flushed, but I did not know why.

“Why is that funny?” Maybe he thought I was still too much of a child to be considered a woman. I assumed it a fair assumption, I had not grown the way he had--my shoulders had not become sturdier and I had not become particularly broader. Still, I would rather melt into the floor than tell him about the reason my mother now considered me a woman. “My mother did say that, and I don’t know what being a ‘woman’ has to do with staying in your room at night.” Something strange had crossed over his features then, something much more brooding than I was used to.

I had blinked at him as unexplained nerves pooled in my stomach. Perhaps that look would have been enough to keep me silent if he had managed to not grin. That self-assured grin that had always challenged me. “Well since you know everything about my mother now, maybe you can tell me why she’s been acting strange. She’s starting to act the way she did when we first became friends.” I expected him to at least pretend to be worried. Perhaps his parents had spoken to her and had mentioned wanting our friendship to end. But his grin had only grown. Pride left me angry. “She did say that I could stay if you ordered it--but I’m glad you’ve never ordered me to do anything, so I can leave right now because you’re acting as odd as her. I don’t understand what you could find funny about our friendship ending.”

He had stopped me from storming out of his room by placing one hand on the wall between me and the door. “Y/n, don’t be cross--I’ll explain it all, I promise.” Angry pride made me want to storm away from him, but curiosity and something unknown and warm kept me in place. “Do you remember when we read the play about the rival families, how the two main characters had kissed?”

I remembered that part of the play especially well. The concept of kissing so casually, outside of marriage, had been jarring to me. “Yes.”

“Now that we’re older, your mother must be worried that we might do that.” He paused before leaning against the arm he placed on the wall to keep me from leaving a little more. “Kiss.”

The clarification was not needed--in that brief pause, I had allowed myself to imagine no distance between our lips. Something in me burned with embarrassment when I realized that some part of me found the thought appealing. The only thing I wanted in that moment was assurance that Nikolai would never know I felt that. That was my third secret, and the weight of it was heavy against my chest.

Still, though, all of my confusion had not yet left. “Is there much harm in a kiss?”

The question had left an odd smile on his lips. “There’s potential harm in what it could lead to for the woman, but not so much for the man.” He exhaled slowly as my face tensed. He could always read me too well because he was quick to add, “What it could lead to isn’t a bad thing, it’s meant to be pleasurable, but it’s serious.” I did not understand, but a part of me was starting to grow okay with that. Nikolai’s voice had started to become lower than ever, and his gaze remained tense. Perhaps if I accepted the confusion for now, things could go back to normal. If the conversation ended, I could stop thinking of his lips and his hands and what it would mean for them to touch me. “It’s considered a vice, like drinking or gambling.” The additional comment helped more than it should have. A vice--not scary and not painful, but not something to indulge in. That’s enough explanation for now. “If you want to know, I won’t deny you.”

I appreciated the offer tremendously. The vice that comes after kissing is clearly something that’s been intentionally kept from me. It’s something he was privy to that I was not, and he offered it to me like so much else. But if knowledge that my mother feared us kissing made me think of his lips, then I doubted I could handle knowing what comes after kissing.

“I’ll let you know when I want to know, but I appreciate the offer.” It felt like a fair response. His snarky grin came back immediately. Irritation rooted itself in my stomach. I hated not knowing more than him for once, but I still had one question I could not relinquish. “But what does that vice have to do with orders?”

At that, his smugness faltered. “It’s not unheard of, for princes and handmaids--for a prince to obligate a handmaid in order to fulfill his vice. Though many handmaids fill the vice of their own will for benefits.

The explanation left him like a confession. I didn’t understand his hesitance--it’s not like he’d ever make me do anything I didn’t want to do. Even when I worked, he was hesitant to ask me to go out of my way to bring him a glass of water. And I couldn’t imagine gaining anything from offering Nikolai something I didn’t really understand. I wasn’t naive to the fact that my life had more privileges than many palace servants. “Oh.”

His eyes hardened. “You know I’d never--”

“I know.” It was finally easy to smile again. “I never thought otherwise.” Something in him seemed to ease at that, his eyes went from hard to warm in less than a second.

I had no more questions for him and I was also no longer a flight risk, but Nikolai did not move. He did not step back to create a more appropriate distance and he did not drop his arm. His gaze, however, did move--dropping downwards, and slightly away from my eyes. I did the same, my eyes falling to his lips.

The silence between us began to make me feel like something in me was in danger of overflowing. “Then I guess my mother is once again worrying for no reason.” Strangely, I did not feel the need to feel embarrassed about staring at his lips. “Because I would never particularly want to kiss you, Nikolai Lantsov.”

The comment was meant to be teasing, a joke to clear away unknown tension. I should have known better than to challenge his pride because he instinctually moved his hand off the wall and beneath my chin. I did not flinch when he tilted my head upwards slightly with his fingers. “I could get you to want to kiss me if I wanted to.”

Three secrets in one night. I did not think I could bear a fourth one. “Hm…” The ground we treaded on felt unstable, but something in me trusted Nikolai to not let me falter. “I should--I should go before I give my mother anymore cause to worry.”

His fingers had brushed down my chin easily as he dropped his hand. “I’ll see you tomorrow morning.”

And that he did. The days passed without mention of the last time he asked me to sleepover. It was as if nothing had changed except now I found myself noting things I most definitely did not want to note. These didn’t feel like individual secrets because it felt easy to group each admirational thought into one secret. Soon, that became my new normal--easy banter, easy touches of hands, and easy yet silent admirations of his beauty.

I never wandered too hard about what the vice that kissing can lead to entailed. I didn't particularly want to know, but knowing that I could ask Nikolai at any time brought a sense of security to me. But besides that, I never thought of that conversation until the day I was asked to look for Nikolai because he was late for dinner.

That in itself was odd, most of the time when Nikolai was late it was because he was with you. I checked his room, two other rooms he was known to frequent, and then finally the library. First, I noticed a handmaid two years older than me. I was finally at an age when one begins to compare their beauty to those around them, and I recognized the girl as gorgeous. She was better endowed than me, physically, and she always seemed fun. And then I noticed Nikolai, standing closer to her than I’ve ever seen him stand to anyone. His expression was serious as the girl giggled.

Nikolai’s expression shifted from tense to shocked when he saw me. “Y/n.”

It took me a moment longer than it should have to realize what I had interrupted. Guilt and jealousy were quick to twist in my stomach. “Dinner--your parents sent me to look for you.”

He was quick to walk around the girl, who was quick to glare at me. I attempted to disappear down the hall after mumbling a quick apology, but Nikolai was faster than me.

“Y/n,” he did not hesitate to grab my wrist.

It shouldn’t have irked me the way it did, after all, neither of us had ever really hesitated to touch each other. I had always reached for him when I wanted him, and he had done the same. But the thought of the same hands that touched the most beautiful girl I had ever seen on me left me bitter in a way I didn’t understand.

Still, I pushed through all of that. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt anything, your mother asked me to look for you because she assumed you’d be with me when you were late to dinner. I didn’t think that there’d be--”

“You didn’t interrupt anything.” The words came out flat as his eyes took on the same quality they did the night he explained my mother’s concern to me. “Valaria wishes there was something to interrupt, but there wasn’t.”

Oh. I refused to let the correction inflate me. “Would you like me to not come to your room tonight?”

The offer felt awkward to make. “No,” the answer came quickly, “In fact, go there now--I want to see you right after dinner. I’ve missed you today.” The instruction left my face feeling warm. “We could read an extra chapter of our book if you’d like.”

Despite myself, I grinned. “Yes.”

“Looking forward to it.”

True to his word, Nikolai was quick to return to his room. He had come back to me eagerly, going out of his way to squeeze my shoulder as he entered the room.

I opened the book to the chapter we had left off on, but before I could start reading, Nikolai stopped me. “Sit next to me?”

The question came softly. It had been some time since we sat next to each other on his bed. Still, I moved off of the chair and to his bed. Something in me longed for the familiar closeness of childhood. I allowed him to play with my fingers as I read.

“You know you could take one night off from me if you wanted to.” The admission left me softly, part of unsure if he was still paying attention to my words. “She was pretty, it wouldn’t have hurt my feelings if you told me you wanted me to not come tonight.”

Nikolai exhaled easily, squeezing my fingers once. “I said I wanted to see you and I meant it.”

It took all of my energy to push past the way his words made my stomach leap. “In general, if you ever--”

Nikolai cut me off by laying his head on my lap the way he used to. “I don’t want to talk about this anymore.” It was the first time in years that he spoke to me in a way that acknowledged his authority. “Keep reading please.”

And that was the last time we had ever mentioned other handmaids in that context. The fifth secret I ever kept from him was the way I worried that one day that would change.

--

The door creaks open while I’m in the middle of fluffing an already pristine pillow. Nikolai steps into the room, but I continue to work.

“Darling,” he breathes too easily, “Today has been painful.” I straighten, looking at him as casually as I can manage. “And now I have to deal with you being mad at me.”

Damn him and his ability to read me with one look. “I’m not mad.”

“You know you can’t lie to me,” he sighs, stepping forward, “We’ve known each other too long for that.”

I press my lips together, irrational anger pushing itself into me at an odd angle. “We’ve also known each other too long to keep secrets.”

His eyebrows draw together, a look so quizzical I’m reminded of our schooling days. “What secrets have I kept from you?”

Mentioning that had been a mistake. I exhale as flatly as possible. “I shouldn’t have mentioned it.” My dismissal only has Nikolai’s expression hardening. I drop my gaze. “Unless you need something, I’m retiring my services for the evening.”

I take a reluctant step towards the door, eyes attached to the floor. “Y/n,” his voice is gentle. “What is it?”

“It’s nothing, I’m just tired.” Please let that be at least somewhat believable. “I’m sure I’ll feel more like myself in the morning.” I take another step, a little more assured. Nikolai’s hand is on my shoulder before I can escape. “Nikolai--”

“Y/n,” his voice is that of velvet, “I can’t have you be mad at me. Not now.”

Sighing, I meet his gaze. The tiredness I see behind his eyes is almost enough to chase away my nerve. What I’d give to be able to melt into our familiar routine. “Then you should have told me you were almost engaged to a literal Saint--the same literal Saint who’s one of my closest friends.”

Nikolai’s expression shifts as his hand drops from my shoulder slowly, fingers brushing down my arm before he finally intertwines our fingers. I bite my tongue to avoid squeezing his hand, but I don’t move to separate us either. He studies me silently, eyebrows drawn together. The longer he stares, the more whatever turmoil he’s experiencing seems to dissipate. After a minute of silence, I can read his expression perfectly. His lips are pressed together in that coy way--the way he only looks when he’s suppressing a smile.

I loathe him for it. “Nikolai Lantsov, don’t you dare laugh--not after what you did. Do you have any idea what it felt like to have Alina casually mention the fact that you almost married her casually? Like that was common knowledge to everyone but me?”

My words break away the last of his self control. He grins, flashing his annoyingly perfect teeth. “Do you have any idea what it feels like for me to want nothing more than to see you and then you let me believe something may actually be wrong when the only issue is your jealousy?”

The amusement in his tone is like poison to me. I find the strength to jerk my hand away from him. “I am not jealous.” He laughs; I am further enraged. “I am not.” The genuineness of my anger must finally register on some level, because he tries to suppress his smile. “I have every right to be mad at my best friend for not telling me that he was almost married.”

“We didn’t exactly come close,” he manages, expression still much too light for my taste. “I’m glad for Alina’s sake, I’m not sure being a Saint would be enough to protect her.”

He is infuriating. “I’m not sure anything you have will be enough to protect you.”

Something in his gaze shifts, softening the tilt of his mouth. “I don’t doubt that.”

I don’t know what I expected from him--but not this. I thought he’d be at least somewhat apologetic. “You should have told me.”

“I would have if I felt it was significant.”

“I’m your best friend--your marriage is significant to me. And even though it’s not like you’re engaged to her right now, you should have told me. You know I talk to Alina all the time.”

He sighs once, a hint of apology threatening to ghost over his eyes. “If I knew not knowing would have upset you so much I would have told you. I was--I was just so excited to be around you again I didn’t see much relevance in anything that didn’t involve you.”

The intensity that Nikolai regards me with is enough to wither all of my fury. But without my anger, I am left spiraling in emotion that I’ve been pushing against for years. My mother’s warning about relationships with those above us rings in my ears--sharp and headache inducing. I am still when he reaches for my hand again, but I do no allow myself to return the gentle squeeze of his fingers.

“I’m not sure much outside of you has significance.” He’s giving me a look I am familiar with. A look he often uses to chase away my anger.

Without my anger, I have nothing to keep me from melting into him, indulging in his presence fully. It’s so easy with him and I blinded myself to the danger of that. He may not be marrying Alina, but one day he will marry someone. A person worthy of his status--and what would I be left doing? Washing their laundry? Tearing up when I dusted the library and came across a book we had read together? Enough damage has already been done--I need to cut myself with this blade now in hopes of making sure I can one day recover.

He will get married one day, and nothing will be the same. And that’s a good thing--he deserves the love of a princess or queen. I want his happiness, even if it’s not with me. But some vindictive part of me hopes that some part of him will miss me. That some part of him will be dulled without me.

I’m a fool--he will remember me as the handmaid from his youth. The girl who made him laugh once or twice before he grew up. I force my hand out of his grasp. “You can’t win me over with words every time.” I need to get out of here before he says something that makes me lose all resolve. “Tomorrow morning I’ll be here to prepare you for breakfast.”

“Y/n.”

I step forward, refusing to look at him. “Goodnight.”

He sighs, his hand quick to grab my arm. Before I can question him I feel myself pulled back. I expect him to pull me just close enough so that I have to meet his gaze. He continues, pulling me sharply before placing a quick hand on my shoulder, forcing me down. My back hits his bed.

I sit up as soon as the reality of what just happened seeps into my mind. “Nikolai, what in the Saints--”

“If you’re going to act like a child, I’m going to treat you like one.”

I scoff, thoughts of escaping him put on hold by the principle of pride. Fine. I’ll beat him one last time, and then I’ll let us separate. I shove him. He laughs--of course this is funny to him. He got to keep fighting past the age of about eleven. His laughter adds to my anger, I move to shove him again, but he catches my wrist easily. I struggle against his hold, shoving him a third time with my still free hand. He pushes me slightly. That’s all it takes to unleash familiar habits.

Our small fight is hardly fair. He has all the advantage--more training, and he’s standing above me. When I finally make a move that might give me some success, Nikolai leans forward. He practically tackles me, his weight forcing me flat against the bed.

I move an arm, ready to push him off of me. Nikolai snags my wrists, holding them above my head. “This means I win.” I roll my eyes, anger returning.

“Let me go.”

He sighs tiredly, but the smugness radiating off of him is suffocating. “Admit that you were jealous.”

There are a lot of things I am willing to do for him--but never that. I cannot give him the one separation I still have. “I wasn’t.”

“Then why are you mad?”

I press my lips together. “I told you--”

“Do you really think you could lie to me?”

“You don’t know me that well.”

Nikolai moves his freehand, touching my chin as a way to ask me to look at him. I meet his gaze hesitantly. “Yes, I do, and that’s never bothered you before but it does now.”

Maybe this is a conversation better had bluntly. “It bothers me now because you’re too old to hold onto the daughter of a palace handmaid and I’m too old to pretend that our different statuses don’t matter.”

“Y/n,” he breathes, “Nothing’s changed. Status didn’t matter to me when we were children, and it doesn’t matter to me now.”

“You can afford to say things like that.”

“What good is my title if it means I can’t,” he pauses, eyes hesitant, “If I can’t keep things the same between us?”

I smile, the sadness of the look weighs on me and I can’t even see it. “Nikolai, you always knew things would change.”

“No, I--”

“You can’t tell me you think your future wife would like you having such a close relationship with a handmaid.” I press my lips together. “One day you’ll fall in love and get married and you’ll want me to leave your bedchamber as soon as dinner is over because you’ll be eager to spend time with your wife.” His gaze hardens. “And that’s not a bad thing. It’s actually a really good thi--”

The last syllable of my sentence dies in my throat. Nikolai, who must be possessed by something, leans down and presses his lips against mine. I beg myself to resist, but his gentleness is everything I’ve ever wanted. He releases my hands in favor of holding my face. That’s all it takes--my hands move without my permission, into his hair--pulling him closer to me. What am I doing? I’m insane. Placing my hands on his chest cautiously, I push just slightly. He’s quick to obey, pulling away while allowing his teeth to brush against my bottom lip.

I gape at him--taking in his now slightly swollen lips. “Nikolai.” He can’t do this to me. We’re friends. Despite the fact that I’ve loved him more than I should--we’re friends. “You’re being extremely unfair.”

He draws his eyebrows together, sitting up quickly and moving off of me. “I’m being unfair? I have spent my entire life loving y--”

I sit up, furious in a new way. “You have not!” This is the dumbest I have ever been. I move to stand, still feeling the softness of his lips against mine.

“Your tooth fell out.” The sharpness of his words forces me to still.

“What?”

I can’t bring myself to turn and look at him, but I’ve always been able to feel any heaviness he bears. The weight of it leaves little room for air in my lungs. “You were ten. I told you ‘girls couldn’t fight’ so you punched me in the face. That was the first time we ever fought--I didn’t mean to hit you in the face, but you moved. You moved and I hit you in the mouth and your last baby tooth fell out. I expected you to cry or get angry, but you just blinked at me and laughed. You were happy to lose your last baby tooth because it meant you were grown up. And then you smiled and asked me if you looked older. If anything, the gap in your smile made you look younger but I told you that you looked like a grown-up because I wanted you to keep smiling. Because your smile made me feel like I won something.” I turn on my heels, but I cannot meet his gaze. “That was the moment I fell in love with you--so don’t tell me I haven’t spent my entire life loving you.”

The weight of his words is harder to survive against than the heaviness of his feelings. “Nikolai, you know we can’t ever be together--”

“Why not?”

“Don’t act like you don’t know,” I manage, voice low, “You almost married the Sun Summoner--”

“That was political--”

“Exactly, your marriage is meant to be political, and if it happens to be out of love--which is what I hope you get, because it is what you deserve--it will be to someone of status.”

Nikolai stands, the movement is that of a king, not the boy I know. “I do not want status or to love someone else--I want you.”

“I can’t take that from you--”

“You can’t take anything from me because I’ve already given it all to you.”

I press my lips together, heart tearing for him. “I love you too much to ruin you.”

My words seem to snap something in him because his eyes darken, the way he watches me adjusting accordingly. “You can’t ruin something that’s always been yours.”

I let myself smile. At him. At his words. At the foolish hope the child in me has clung to after all of these years. I reach for him thoughtlessly, because I have the right to. Because I’ve always had the right to. He’s quick to respond, kissing me with much more security than before.

This time, he pulls away of his own regard. “You still haven’t admitted that you were jealous.”

His teasing smugness isn’t as sour to me anymore. “I wasn’t.”

Nikolai pulls me towards him easily, lips threatening to brush against me, warm breath against my face. “Are you sure, darling? You were awfully quick to claim what’s yours.”

I roll my eyes, grinning so widely I’m surprised my face doesn’t yet hurt. “You’re the one that fell for a ten-year-old girl with a bloody mouth.”

When he smiles back at me, he places a hand on my hip, pulling me forward slightly. “That I did.” He pulls me forward slightly. "Does this mean you can sleep in here again?"

"If anything, this is more reason for me to sleep in another room." He rolls his eyes, pulling me even closer. "But I won't tell if you don't."

Nikolai leans forward, pressing his lips to my forehead. "Deal."

tags: @deardiarystuff @theincredibledeadlyviper, @grishaverse7 @benbarnes-supremacy  @tranquilitymoon @kaitlyn2907 @lunamyangel @christinawxxx @deceivedeer @real-mbappe @tonks33

[tippenfunkaport]

What do you mean by saying Glimmer wasn’t a good friend to Adora? As in season 4?

Anon, the timing of this ask is downright creepy because I was going write up a thing about their friendship today anyway for the @spop-palentines Fractures. Get out of my drafts folder!

Disclaimer before I start that I love Glimmer and Adora deeply, they are two of my most favorite characters, but you can like a character and still be able to acknowledge that they are flawed. (*gasps from the crowd* I know, I know. It’s very shocking. Almost like media has nuance and one can consume it intelligently instead of seeing everything through the lens of single focused stanning. Wild, huh?)

But to your question…

Princess Glimmer is not a good friend. Period. That’s a major part of her character’s arc and growth over the series. It’s understandable, given we’re told she’s sheltered as well as basically only ever had one friend growing up and Bow’s much more understanding / forgiving than the average person, but Glimmer, overall, still treats her friends like crud. At the start of the series, Glimmer is blunt, possessive, selfish, arrogant and takes her friends for granted all while being prickly and distrustful new allies.

And we see her working on this! She softens to relate to first Adora and then Sea Hawk and later Frosta and even Scorpia. It all culminates in her being able to finally let her guard down enough to make a connection with the least likely person, Catra, when they are in space which ends up saving her life.

Her being a bad friend and learning to be a better one is a key part of her character and how it develops.

But she’s a particularly bad friend to Adora. (And Bow but he’s another story.) Even before Season 4, in addition to the smaller stuff she’d doing to everyone else, she’s often dismissive of Adora’s needs / struggles and at multiple points clearly cares more about She-Ra and her powers than Adora herself. And then along comes Season 4 and, yes, Glimmer is grieving and it’s a realistic portrayal of grief so I don’t blame her for acting poorly, exactly, but there’s no denying she treats Adora awfully in many ways.

And the thing is… Adora’s not completely innocent here either. Because Adora’s particular issue is wanting to please everyone, there are less overt moments but they are still there. She’s less understanding of Glimmer’s grief in Season 4 than others, single focused on her own role over the bigger picture Glimmer is worried about, dismissive of her friend’s attempts to reconcile, manipulates her into staying in the Mer-Mysteries episode by guilt tripping her about Bow, etc etc.

And, yes, there are reasons for all of this and justifications on both sides. I’m not trying to say Adora’s bad behavior was more justified than Glimmers, but rather that they were both pretty horrible to each other despite each having their reasons. And it’s wonderful writing because it makes their relationship messy and complicated with shades of gray because they are both right and wrong in so many ways. But the sum total of it was: they were not good friends to each other and would have imploded long ago if Bow hadn’t been holding them together by sheer force of will.

Which comes to one of my problems with Season 5. Glimmer spends most of the season fixing things with Bow: showing she doesn’t just take him for granted, that she is attuned to his needs too, etc. And it’s important because it’s the last piece of her arc about learning to be a good friend… but we really kind of needed at least a moment where we see Glimmer also showing she no longer takes Adora for granted, aka actually caring for Adora as Adora and not just She-Ra, to cap it off.

And we just never got that.

[mrwinterr]

Over & Over

Pairing: Pornstar!Bucky Barnes AU x Pornstar!Female Reader

Summary: You’re an up-and-coming adult film star secretly eager to work with the popular Bucky Barnes, and with just the right connections, your paths cross much sooner than later.

Warnings: Adult themes. Smut 18+ (unprotected sex, vaginal penetration and instructional fingering, oral [male & female receiving], size kink, spit & cum play, a smudge of male dominance), dirty talk and language.

Disclaimer: I don’t know how the porn industry works; this was just written for fun.

Title Inspiration: “Over & Over” by Smallpools

A/N: After doping up on strong painkillers wasn’t enough, I thought releasing endorphins would help ease my headache, so once again watching porn inspired another fic. Idk. I’m a mess. Enjoy!

Slipping on your oversized sunglasses, you walk along the rectangular outline of the hotel’s lavish pool, to one of the vacant lounge chairs next to the redheaded goddess, whose wings you were taken under and could gratefully call a close friend. You hadn’t known a single soul when you packed up and moved west to Los Angeles at 18, but you knew you were destined for more than what your humdrum life back at home could offer.

The porn industry wasn’t your first choice at a career in entertainment, but the starving profession wasn’t paying the bills fast enough. You weren’t going to survive in L.A. another year juggling to pay for tuition and stay enrolled in acting school from the income of working menial jobs and booking small gigs. However, one minor role as an extra in a one-night stand sex scene of a TV show, you catch the eye of the multitalented adult film actress Natasha Romanoff.

It was pure coincidence she was also casted, playing a bigger role, of the same episode, but she saw more in you in your less than 15 seconds of fame than most casting agents did before offering you a chance to shadow her. You knew she looked familiar and you were no stranger to watching porn, but when you’re as down on your luck as you were, you went all in and soon enough countless scenes now under your belt within a year, you’re porn’s best female newcomer.

“There’s this year’s Best New Starlet!” Natasha proclaims loudly for almost everyone around to hear.

Lucky for you, the shades conceal the roll of your eyes at her comment as you kick off your flip-flops and remove the thin cover up to reveal your skimpy bikini. You dare look over at her in time to catch her mocking reaction, jaw dropped from your attitude.

“After all I’ve done for you,” she says, placing a hand to her heart, feigning hurt.

The pair of you laugh at your nonsense and after she helps you with applying the appropriate amount of sun care protection, you recline in your seats and attempt to soak up some sun. It was a much-needed break with the long stressful week of the award show now behind everyone. Your hard work had paid off and after all you did learn from the best.

Your predecessor before you, Natasha was also a former Best New Starlet, and now is a household name in pornography. She didn’t welcome a lot of people into her inner circle, but she had plans to one day direct and knew she had to find the next big thing before anyone else to take her place.

“Hello, ladies,” comes from the voice of this year’s Director of the Year and other close friend Wanda Maximoff.

“Hey Wanda,” you greet her by sitting up to give her a proper hug.

You met her through her twin brother, Pietro, who happened to be your first co-star and was very welcoming and caring to you. The twins took care of you during your first few months starting out. Much like Natasha did for you, you help her administer the same amount of sunscreen on her body.

“Congrats on your achievement,” she says wholeheartedly, looking over her shoulder at you as you finish up on her back, and even under the heat of the sun, she could still see the blush creep up on your face.

“She’s a natural, isn’t she?” Natasha comments casually, to which Wanda nods enthusiastically, only speeding up the process of the rose tints on your cheeks to spread all over your face. They were your biggest fans and supporters; you were so happy you could make them proud.

“I owe it all to the queen herself,” you say, downplaying your achievement and turning the attention to your mentor in Natasha. She scoffs at that and teases you about just taking the damn compliment. You put in the work; it was all you.

“Seriously, you deserved it,” Wanda says honestly, and you finally accept the praise.

“So, what’s next for miss Director of the Year?” Natasha asks leaning on a propped elbow, body facing towards you and Wanda.

“Well, I managed to finally book Bucky Barnes in an upcoming project…” she starts out, but the moment you heard his name slip from her lips, the rest almost didn’t matter.

Bucky Barnes was somewhat of a legend. There wasn’t a model or director that didn’t want to work with him. The man was downright gifted in every aspect and his work speaks for itself. Before you broke onto the scene, you’d gotten off to his videos, and only dreamed of one day starring in a scene with him, but you were still new to this world.

As a promising star, you had a long way to go and tons of plots, positions and people to still experience, so landing a role with someone like Bucky Barnes wasn’t entirely written in your plans any time soon. Then again, your first girl-on-girl scene was with your mentor herself, so anything could happen, right?

“I just haven’t found my girl yet,” was the next thing you pick up Wanda say the moment your head comes back from the clouds, “...I have all this momentum now that I want this to blow everyone away, especially Stark.”

Tony Stark was her rival. It was a friendly competition amongst friends. You hadn’t gotten the chance to work for him yet. He was a playful character and had directed some of the best adult films out there, Wanda just happened to be the better of the two this year…

“Sorry, I’m retired,” Natasha reminds her and repositions herself on her back.

“Fuck you,” Wanda says playfully to which Natasha responds with a finger in the air before she clarifies, “I was hinting at this year’s Best New Starlet…” and slyly looking in your directly.

“Me?” You ask incredulously. Your head can’t even start processing that you’re finally getting the opportunity to work with Bucky.

Wanda rolls her eyes at your obliviousness, “no, last year’s Best New Starlet. Hell no! Of course, you!” You respond in the same manner as your mentor, who is more than amused at you also following her lead, and flip Wanda off. Wanda snatches your hand to bring it away from her face, “I’m serious!”

“I-I don’t know, Wan,” a part of you is a little scared that you’re not going to be able to keep up with someone as established and with the star power as Bucky, “...like you said, you have all this momentum behind you. I don’t want to fuck this scene up because I don’t have a lot of experience.”

“Are you fucking kidding?” Natasha pipes up on the other side of you. “This is the perfect role for you!” She sees the questionable look on your face and sighs before explaining. “You’re a fresh face and rising star! People are lining up to book you, Stark included.”

“Nat is right. You’re a hot commodity now! I need someone who is a little inexperienced to mix with someone that is,” Wanda further explains her premise, “let him take the lead, but at your pace. I need it to be raw and passionate. People love that shit!” They were right, he had all the experience, and you were a fresh loveable face. It was the perfect combination.

You remain quiet for several seconds before Natasha rats you out, “and don’t even try to act like you don’t want to work with Barnes. This is your fantasy come to life.” Way to throw you under the bus like that…

There’s no denying your goal to work with him. He’d been in this business much longer than you had, you didn’t think your paths would ever cross on a set, but the opportunity couldn’t have presented itself in a more perfect point in your career.

The room is very pristine. White walls with a king size bed, also adorned in white sheets, fluffy pillows scattered at the top, minimal furniture around to make it look realistic, and the lighting was just right. Wanda had received a hefty budget after her recognition that’s for sure.

“Alright, girly, let’s get you on the bed!” Wanda happily directs.

You nod silently, remove your footwear and plop down on the center of the large mattress. You decide to leave your legs sprawled on one side of your body, settling on a bashful position. It’s not hard for you because although you agreed to do this and have done several scenes, internally, you’re freaking the fuck out. Unbeknownst to you, it’s all part of your charm; the innocence you somehow still radiated was an all too endearing quality and actually sexy.

Even your attire was pretty modest, opting for a more casual look with black leggings and a tight long sleeve that accentuates your figure and shows off the right amount of cleavage. It was something that you could easily wear out in public, which again was a part of your brand in being as natural as possible, but come the right circumstances, when it was time to roll you could turn on the right switch.

“We’ll start off like a typical casting interview before we bring Bucky in and then we’ll go from there. Sounds good?” She runs down the plan with you, fixing a few strands of flyaway hairs on your head before back away from the bed. With a thumbs up and a smile from you, she starts recording.

“Welcome, Best New Starlet of the Year!” Wanda greets from behind the camera.

“Hi,” you politely reply with your signature sweet smile and a wave to the screen.

These scenes start off with a small interview recounting your tale into the porn industry leading up to your recent achievement and even delving a bit into your personal life before the topic changes to your co-star.

“So, how excited are you to work with Bucky today?”

No matter how hard you practiced at keeping a straight poker face, that was something you were unable to master from Natasha, and the blush couldn’t be contained.

Fidgeting at the hem of your top, you open and close your mouth, trying to find the right words. You’re overly flustered at the thought of Bucky and he wasn’t even in front of you yet. You don’t want to sound like a fool and ruin the atmosphere. Wanda mouths words of advice from where she sat in the director’s chair, “be honest.”

“Um, I’m...nervous,” you say truthfully.

“Nervous?” She questions, urging you to elaborate.

“Yeah, he’s Bucky Barnes! He’s hot and he’s got so much experience. I’m kind of scared I’ll be boring,” you finish explaining and hope to God that Natasha doesn’t kill you afterwards, or with that answer let Wanda down, but the smile on her face sends you a wave of assurance.

Maybe you could do this...

Earlier that day, Bucky had already recorded his little opening scene. Wanda had called him to report on set before you were scheduled to arrive.

On the contrary, Bucky was also a tab bit anxious to work with you. He’d seen some of your work and more so heard about your talent from his own best friend, Steve Rogers.

He didn’t deny it, he was very much attracted to you and he wanted a chance to work with you too. Bucky wasn’t a jealous person, which made working in the porn industry easy for him, but when he had to hear Steve recount his scenes with you, he couldn’t help but want to sock his own childhood friend. He didn’t of course, but the rage was evident and his other friend, Sam Wilson, took some sick pleasure in teasing him over it. In fact, the eccentric personality of the trio of friends, decided to tag along with Bucky to introduce himself to you and get under his skin a little more.

“What’s going on in that nasty head of yours?” Sam poked at Bucky as they made their way over to Wanda, who was by the camera setup going over a script with another stagehand. When Bucky doesn’t respond, it provokes Sam even more, “no way, you’re nervous!”

Bucky sighs fed up with dealing with the anxiety brewing ever since he found out he was going to star in this film with you. “Shut the fuck up, will you? Of course, I’m nervous,” he says, trying to remain calm.

“Dude, you’ve slept with some of the hottest people in the world and millions of people have seen you naked. Why is one girl any different?” Sam wonders.

“I don’t know, ok. She just seems so down-to-earth and normal?” Bucky attempts to explain. You were real. His work was just that, it was a work, and he was afraid that it would be different with you. He could say he was almost intimidated by you.

“Yeah, as if I don’t have to hear that enough from Rogers…” Sam chimed in. Steve had nothing but high praise for your performance. In fact, his testimony helped expose you a little further. He was an honorable performer and a respected one, so they took his word on you. “Maybe, I’ll be her next co-star,” and just like that Sam ruined a moment.

“God, I hate you,” was the last thing exchanged between the two friends as they finally reached Wanda. She warned Sam to behave and gave Bucky a quick rundown before instructing him to hop on the bed.

Bucky’s interview starts a little differently than yours. Having already been a more established performer than yourself, no one needed his background story. The only thing Wanda wanted out of him was his plans and opinion on you.

“Well, I don’t know too much about her, personally speaking...but everyone seems to love her,” Bucky’s answer was a bit bland for Wanda.

“She’s a great person to work with,” she comments and that’s a tactic most directors used to get talent to keep talking.

“That’s what Steve keeps saying,” he says with somewhat of an awkward light laugh. He could see Sam facepalming next to Wanda at that lame answer.

“Yeah, you don’t win best female newcomer for nothing,” Wanda points out. If anyone was the lucky one here, it was Bucky. He was climbing up in age and you were the next big thing. You were the real star of this film not Bucky. She was counting more on you to deliver than him.

“That’s right. She’s a very talented performer,” Bucky says, and this small comment opens up a can of worms for Wanda to build up on.

“Oh, so you’ve seen some of her work?” Bam! He was caught.

Bucky’s mouth starts twitching slightly and Wanda and Sam are smirking from their spots as they watch the gears in Bucky’s mind start turning faster trying to think of something. The only piece of advice Wanda gives is “be honest.”

He sighs, the jig was up. Smooth Bucky Barnes was caught red-handed, “yeah, I’ve watched some scenes. I’ve seen her in person a few times too…”

“Wait,” Wanda interrupts him abruptly. She knew you were attracted to Bucky, but never knew of any encounters between you two, “when did you meet her?”

“I haven’t,” Bucky starts, which causes a look of mass confusion on Wanda’s face before he follows up, “formally. I haven’t met her formally, but I’ve seen her at a few parties and at the award show...I was just nervous to walk up to her,” the words just kept flowing out of his mouth and he inwardly cringed at how awkward he might’ve sounded.

Sam was amused by his embarrassment, but Wanda was pleased with this result. Bucky was good at what he did and that included him trying to play it cool, which he did well on screen, sometimes.

“You know she was actually thrilled to find out she would be working with you,” Wanda said, stretching the truth. The truth was, you hadn’t verbally confessed that, at least not yet.

“Really?” Bucky asks all too hopeful, his mood noticeably perking up.

“Yup! Ever since she won Best New Starlet of the Year, people have been lining up to book her, but she chose this project. You were the deal breaker, Barnes,” she fabricated and hoped this all worked out for you two in the end.

“Wow, who would’ve thought this has-been still had it in him?” He jokes at himself. His humility would get the best of him in every situation.

“Don’t be so hard on yourself! You didn’t win Best Male Performer of the Year again for nothing!” Wanda says and then steers the interview to a close.

After wrapping up Bucky’s scene, he’s allowed to stay in another room with a monitor. At first, he thinks it’s to help him prep for the scene, but to his surprise it’s a live feed of your interview and he starts clinging onto your every word. Enthralled by your journey, work ethic and he gets flustered all over again hearing you talk about your equal eagerness to work with him.

“You know, if anyone is the lucky one in this situation, it’s Barnes,” Wanda reminds as your interview comes to an end.

“Right,” you sarcastically remark.

“Are you ready for us to bring Bucky in?” She asks.

“It’s now or never,” you reply. 

You watch the doorknob twist and the door open to slowly reveal Bucky. Where do you even start with him? He just looked like the total package. His gaze immediately on yours. As he makes his way towards the bed you’re still sitting on, when his knee comes in contact to the edge, you maneuver your body in his direction, sit up on your knees to meet him halfway and welcome him in a hug.

“Hi, it’s nice to finally meet you,” he says when you pull apart. The both of you don’t break away completely. Your arms are still wrapped around his neck, his hands placed just above your waist, you can feel his fingers that slipped under the fabric rub your skin.

“It’s nice to meet you,” you respond, giving him a genuine smile and can’t help but stare at his pretty face. You had to remind yourself he’s just another guy, except he wasn’t. You didn’t know how he felt, but you wanted this, wanted him. You also don’t know if you’ll ever work him again after today, so he was going to get the real you.

A small, subtle clearing of someone’s throat shatters the staring contest between you and Bucky causing you both to sheepishly break away from the other, not realizing you’d both allowed dreaded dead airtime to pass by. You scoot over to make room for him next to you on the bed. After he pulls his footwear off, he sits cross legged in front of you, you have one leg tucked in and the other extended in front.

Bucky’s not entirely oblivious. He not only witnessed you backstage reveal you were actually nervous to work with him, he could feel it, so at an attempt to help ease both your nerves, he places a hand on your shin and absentmindedly run his hand up and down the fabric, fingers sometimes stopping to mess with the cuff of your leggings and at the skin of your ankle, while he listened to you speak.

He congratulated you on your achievement as you did with him, both a blushing mess before diving into different topics like traveling and other interests.

Wanda stood proudly behind the camera watching the scene unfold. Everything was so candid and real between you and Bucky, the chemistry was clearly evident, she didn’t foresee there would be much directing on her part today, which was going to make her job easy.

“Wanda said you were excited to work with me,” Bucky teases, wanting to see if what you said was just for the cameras or if it was really true, but also, he found out he liked to see you get all hot and bothered in more than one way.

Your jaw drops and you look directly into the camera, breaking the fourth wall, calling out to Wanda. You playfully chastise and curse at her for revealing your secret. She tells you it was going to come out anyways, and while that was true, you’d hoped it was later and much after you’ve slept with him, hoping it doesn’t ruin the shoot, but Bucky assures you that it’s actually a flattering to hear or in his words, “assuring” for someone like him.

“Are you kidding?” You say, lightly shoving him back, “you’re like a legend! Of course, I was excited! I’m surprised you agreed to work with a rookie like me!” Now that the cat was out of the bag, you might as well own up to your secret.

“Everyone wants to work with you,” he makes clear, leaning in closer. Fuck, he didn’t even need to initiate foreplay because with the way he was looking at you right now, you could come swear you’d come undone for him in an instant.

“Oh really?” You challenge, your body gravitating like a magnet towards his.

“Yup, Steve wouldn’t shut up about you and even Sam said he can’t wait to someday work with you,” he said, voice slowly dropping in decibels and his hands sliding up your thighs.

“Did he?” You ask, but you don’t really care about Sam as your eyes look dead into Bucky’s blue ones, swirling into a darker shade full of deep want and desire.

“Yeah, but let’s see if he still wants to try to outdo me after I’m done with you,” he whispers, finally closing the gap between your lips in a sweet kiss. It was about as sweet as it could last because after just one taste of your lips, he was a starved man, hungry for more. You tried your best to match his pace and the kiss turned sloppy very quick.

You moaned at the pressure of his lips pressed roughly against yours, and you do your best to keep up, but you’re already finding yourself short of breath. However, the more you try to pull back to regain some oxygen, the more he’s unwilling to part as he grasps your face in both hands to keep you still, so you lightly squeeze at his biceps as a warning in hope he gets the message.

Lucky for you, he does and lets up. He’s also noticeably breathless, his warm breath fanning against your kiss-swollen lips, his forehead resting against yours. Bucky’s hands are still on your face.

“Sorry,” he apologizes, and you let out a small chuckle at the sincerity. He was cute.

You take his hands in yours and bring them back down to begin undressing him starting by helping him slip his shirt over his head, the fashionable dog tags around his neck clank as it slaps against his toned chest, you let him keep them on though.

Bucky sits up on his knees as he watches you settle on your stomach, propped up by your elbows, hands getting ready to work on his lower half. He patiently watches as you unbuckle his belt, pop the button of his jeans off, and drag the zipper down.

With his pants hanging loose off his hips, you begin to plant soft kisses along his navel down the defined lines that lead to his cock. Each contact of your lips sends a ghostly tingle and the blood to rush even quicker down his lower region. The imprint of his endowed member doesn’t leave much to your imagination, you can already see the stain where the tip is through his tight boxer briefs. It gives you a little boost of confidence knowing you’d caused this and would get to take care of it.

You hook your fingers into the undergarment and tug them down his muscular thighs. His cock springs out, almost hitting you in the face causing you to jolt back a little and a smile to spread across Bucky’s.

Your clumsiness was also a part of your charm. It wasn’t on purpose, you were still learning after all, and that’s what made it so unique and fun to work with you. Your partners just felt a real, genuine connection, citing it felt less choreographed and of a porno with you.

A little embarrassed about that move, you’d watched what he can do with that cock, but nothing could’ve prepared you for it face-to-face. You don’t waste any time on getting your hands on him and wrap your fingers around his half-hard cock and start pumping him sensually.

He’s hot and soft in your hands before getting gradually heavy. The look in your eyes grows more predatory as you watch him grow and feel him getting harder with each pump causing more and more pre-cum to ooze out. You spread it all over the head of his cock with your thumb then daring to look up at him, hoping he was indeed enjoying your work, before you pucker your lips and kiss at the crown. Bucky curses when he sees your lips shining, coated in his pre-cum, with a string connecting you to his cock.

You gather the fluid up in your hand before spreading it all over his length, when it’s not enough you start not only pumping him faster, but also licking up and down, from the base to the tip, hoping to effectively slick him up. The way your tongue scrapes along over Bucky’s sensitive flesh stirs him up. Your other hand joins in to fondle with his neglected balls, massaging and pulling at them in the right moments, sometimes you travel a little south and take them in your mouth. It all but drives Bucky wild and it’s confirmed with each swear that leaves his mouth.

Bucky wants nothing more than to lodge himself deep in your throat, but he remembers he needs to go at your pace, and once you’re broken in a little more, you could follow his, so he’ll bide his time for now and watch you work.

When you’re ready to take him in, you regain his attention and he watches you slowly take in his inches down your mouth, stopping halfway before your wide-open mouth hollows out. Your full mouth immediately waters around him and it doesn’t take long before you’re a drooling mess all over his cock. You pull back torturously slow, looking back down watching his cock reappear and loving the way it disappears back in, and especially how it feels when it drags through your mouth, taking note of the veins and unique ridges.

“Don’t be like that, doll,” he says, wiping some of the hair away from your face, “come on and show me why they don’t stop talking about you,” he coaxes, now gathering some of your locks in his hand to completely give you both a clear view. He tries his best to not take the lead, but you don’t disappoint as your mouth works faster on him. The gagging and sucking, mixed with Bucky’s moans of pleasure soon become the soundtrack.

You’d gradually take him more and more in, close to deep throating him, and you’re just ready to let up, but he can’t help it and before your last round, he holds your head in place.

“Don’t quit now, baby,” he encourages you, placing his other hand on the back of your head, keeping you still and carefully starts to thrust his hips, urging you to take him all the way, “...that’s it, you can do it, you can take it,” he releases a big sigh feeling the tip of your nose bump his lower abdomen. The moisture builds up in the inner corner of your eyes and you do your best to mind your breathing and not choke.

“Fuck!” He can’t help but shout when he feels your throat contract around him. You just looked so divine, mouth full of his cock. He keeps you there for a few seconds, before releasing his hold, and you immediately pull back, drool dribbles down your chin, and you’re desperate for oxygen to return back into your system. He grabs your face by your chin forcing you to look up at him.

He uses his fingers to scoop up some of the mixed fluids of his arousal and your saliva at your chin before presenting it in front of you. You easily read his mind, look up at him with big, watery eyes, and take his coated digits in your abused mouth sucking the juices clean off him. 

He growls and commends you, “...such a good girl.” When he slips his fingers out of your mouth, a small pop could faintly be heard, he gently yanks at your hair, craning your head back further, it’s almost painful but you don’t care, “do it again,” he demands.

You bite your lip and reposition yourself. Bucky settles in a more comfortable position on his back, completely rid of his pants and underwear, his legs spread open for you to lie between them. Before you get back to the job, you slip your tight top off, all-natural breasts spilling out and on display for him. His cock twitches at the sight and he lets his head fall back when he’s once more fully encased in the warm, wet cavern of your mouth.

When he finally starts begging you to let up, you pull back slowly pumping him and watch his every move, the rise of his chest as it heaves from the activity, the way he runs his hands over his face. He’s absolutely stunned by your performance so far.

“On your back,” he says, and you do as he commands, and forget who is supposed to really be in charge. He yanks your leggings and panties all the way down, chucking them behind him somewhere in the corner of the room.

“You’re so sexy,” he compliments, eyes taking in every inch of your naked body, hands getting their fill. His body dips, lips latching onto your breasts, kissing at the skin and sucking on each nipple before they make their way up the juncture of your neck and claim your lips again.

You feel his tongue run along your bottom lip, and they part to grant him full access. You barely notice how he takes a hold of one of your hands, he pulls his face away to bring the hand in his grasp up to your face, using your fingers to trace the outline of your lips. You see him inaudibly instruct you to open your mouth, you do as you’re told.

“That’s right get those fingers nice and wet,” he coaxes you to suck on your own digits until he deems you ready for the next move. When he finally does pull your fingers out from your mouth, he extends your arm, ghosting them just over your pussy.

“Play with that clit,” he tells you and you don’t need to be told twice. Your pussy was begging for any kind of attention. You let your wet fingers roll over the bundle of nerves, puffs of breath escape your body as you’re finally attending to your own needs.

Bucky sits back and watches you intently, fascinated by your every move. He instructs you to close your eyes and listen to his voice, instructing you to go slow at first, “does that feel good?” the only reply he gets is a fast nod, “yeah? Make yourself feel good...that’s it,” his words only encourage your fingers to soon work faster, “let me hear how good it feels,” he demands, and you moan and whine like the true pornstar you are, your circular motions speed up, the lewd noises egg him on and soon enough he wants a taste.

“Let me help you out,” and you feel the bed shift a bit, “spread those wet lips for me,” he requests. You use both hands to invite him into your wet, glistening hole. You pick your head up to see his face buried between your thighs, you watch just long enough until each broad lick up and down your pussy sends you close to the edge.

He no longer needs the support of your hands, and they find purchase in his dark, fluffy hair as he starts sucking on your clit and tonguing your folds. At first, you’re doing a good job keeping your legs apart to accommodate him, but it gets harder and harder for them to not clamp around his head, with every nudge the tip of his nose makes at your clit and it doesn’t help your case when he inserts a finger inside you. With a good curl, his finger scratches dangerously close to your sweet spot, causing your legs to start quivering.

The sudden hitch in your breathing catches his attention, and Bucky tests the waters more by digging in deeper and curling in further. He notices the increasing agitation and knows he’s found the trigger.

“Bucky,” you whine, hoping he doesn’t push you over just yet. You want to last longer, and so you reluctantly attempt to scoot back further away, but the sudden strong grip  he has around your leg locks you in place. You pick your head back up and find Bucky’s eyes trained on you. You see the stoic look in his eyes laced with determination. Oh no, he wanted you to come now. You feel a hum from his full mouth, only pushing you further.  

“Don’t hold back,” he says against your pussy, “let go,” and the gruff in his voice, vibrating against you, his thick digits still curled deep inside you, you can’t hold back the floodgates from bursting any longer.

He laps up your arousal as you desperately try to regain composure. He really pulled one out of you, proving he was as every bit good as he put out and you’re not even close to the end of this scene.  

“Come here,” he says, getting back on his knees and pulling you up by your arms so you’re in an up-right sitting position once again, but with Bucky still towering over you, “open up.”

You comply and open your mouth wide, tongue out, not understanding his motive, and you’re met with full surprise when he spits in your mouth, a firm grip on your face, he holds you still.

“Don’t swallow,” he gravely warns. You feel and probably look stupid not knowing what he wants you to do with your mouth open wide and full of his spit mingling with your arousal, just trying to keep it all contained. Bucky was testing your patience and obedience and you passed every test so far. You were just the right amount of submissive, absolutely perfect.

You can feel his hard cock pressing up against your sensitive pussy, it slides up between your folds and the base rests on top of your mound. “Drool it out...on my cock,” he instructs. Oh. He guides your gaze down between your bodies, you purse your lips, and both watch as the liquid cascades down onto his erect member. He uses it to lube himself up before he pushes you down to lie flat on your back.

Bucky slowly but easily slips inside your wet channel but notices your slight struggle. He was big, and he gets it. The way your eyes are tightly shut, hands pulling at the sheets, you struggle to breath and your walls cruelly grip him tight. Normally, he’d just pound away until his partner got used to him, but he didn’t want to do that with you. He wanted you to enjoy feeling him.

He tries to help you relax by rubbing your thighs a little with soothing motions, when they fall limp on either side, he leans down, you feel the cool metal of his dog tags against your heated skin, his weight sort of comforting on yours, and arms entrapping your head. He lovingly calls out your name, and your eyes flutter open, your attention refocusing on him.

“We’ll go at your pace, alright?” he assures you. You curse yourself for allowing your heart to swell at his concern, but you nod giving him permission to move slowly. Your whimpers soon transition into pleasurable moans, the more your body begins to adjust to his.

“Damn, you’re so tight. You’ve never been stretched out like this by anyone before have you?” he dares ask, once he sees it’s a safe playing field once more, his hips moving slow, his cock sliding in and out of you. You attempt at a laugh between your ragged breathing and the intense sensation coursing through you.

“No,” you respond and kiss at his chin, the light stubble pricking your soft lips, “you’re so big.” You feel his cock twitch inside and you want to curse yourself again at the comment that unintentionally riles him up because he was nestled close to your spot again. Fuck, he could reach just the right depth in you.

“Fuck, Bucky,” you don’t want to go slow anymore. Fuck Wanda and this movie, you wanted all of Bucky now, “please fuck me,” you resort to begging. He inwardly growls and his hips start snapping forward, thrusts growing hard and uncalculated. You just lie there and allow him to use your pussy for his pleasure.

Bucky’s movements falter a bit in this position, so he steers both your bodies on their sides, still facing each other, he slings your leg high up over his hips, and resumes his task. His cock glides right back in your pussy and the new angle causes you to yelp and walls to clench around him.

“You feel so good,” his voice riddled with so much lust as he brings your body closer to his with a hand behind, full of your plushest asset. Your head rests on the bicep of his other arm that was underneath it.

Bucky’s expressive eyes ask you if you're close, and the more your walls continue to grip him, he starts begging for you to come with him. “I’m gonna cum,” he warns, giving up and letting you take the rest of the lead.

“Yeah?” you huff out, your fingers digging into the side of his hips, “you want to cum inside me?” You know he does; you can feel and see it written all over him, but you want to just poke at him like he had with you, “I want you to...I want all your cum inside me, Bucky,” and you wanted him to cum hard, deep inside, “fill my tight pussy up, please,” you plead.

With one more jab of his hips, your back arches and head is thrown back, you can’t help but let out a scream as your orgasm rips right through you like it’s never before. Bucky’s body on the other hand caves into yours, feeling almost paralyzed as your tight walls hold him in place and all he can do is bury his face into the sweaty skin of your neck.

His mouth hangs open, a plethora of profanities coming out of him, and he waits for his cock to finish spewing ropes of his hot, thick cum into you. Your walls can’t help but to involuntarily contract in small aftershocks, especially when he’s still coming.

Bucky continues to moan as he does as you hoped, he came hard and deep inside you. When you’ve both finally come down from the high, it’s silent, and even though you’d both long forgotten you were on a set with multiple people watching you two, they were also quiet, completely taken back by the performance.

Incoherent cries come out of each of you, when Bucky agonizingly pulls his cock out. For the most part you’re able to keep him inside, but he’d proven to come so much some of it seeps out and runs down in streak fashion along your thigh, staining the bed sheets.

In your last act, as your gazes meet each other again, your fingers dip inside your soaked cunt and coat them. Hypnotized by you, Bucky watches as you greedily suck off his essence from your digits, and you evoke a small hum in his favor at the taste bursting in your mouth.  

Bucky bites at his bottom lip, trying to not lose it again. When your hand disappears, he tenderly wipes the matted hair away from your face, smoothing your hair back before pulling your body close again, swooping your lips for a deep kiss.

“Shit, you’re good,” he admits, when he pulls away, effectively breaking the blissful silence. You bust out in a fit of giggles beside him and it’s the cutest thing he’s ever seen. He’s not sure what he’s feeling, but it’s not something you’re supposed to feel towards your co-star, especially in the porn industry.    

He smiles at you, basking in your afterglow and all he knows is that he wants to feel this high with you over and over, so he decides to risk it all, “I hope this doesn’t ruin the moment, but can I take you out some time?”

You try your best to read him, wondering if he was just still in the heat of the moment. Either he’s really good or he’s being sincere, you can’t tell and you’re hoping you’re not overthinking it, but his eyes, this whole time, were what gave him away. He performed with them and he definitely spoke through them.

Before you could accept and give him a definite answer, you’re both brought back to reality, “we’re still rolling here!” Wanda reminds.

A/N: Thank the pain meds for this. I think I effectively used up my vacation days the right way, won’t you agree? Likes, reblogs and comments/emojis are appreciated! 

[fandomlovingfreak]

Glacial Passion (9/?)

Regulus Black/Reader

Rating: E for Everyone

Trigger Warning: Arranged Marriage, angst, swearing occasionally

Word Count: 2059

MasterList Link I AO3 Link I Wattpad Link

Summary: Glacial, cold, icy… all words that described Regulus Black’s grey eyes. Was there truly no emotion behind those eyes, or did a caring man exist beneath? Could she defrost those glacial eyes?

Disclaimer: Regulus Black (Walburga Black, Orion Black, and Sirius Black) is a character from Harry Potter by J.K. Rowling. Reader or y/n is not owned by Rowling. This work has not been created for profit or financial compensation, and is a transformative fair use work in accordance with Section 107 of the United States Copyright Act.

Notes: Okay so I feel rushed 24/7 with this fanfic because of my schedule. I hope you all like it! I rewrote this like 5 times ugh! aha

Enjoy

Visitors at nine o'clock at night was far from uncommon for Sirius Black. But, he usually expected said visitors to arrive with him, hopefully after a wonderful night out drinking and dancing. Visitors that arrived at nine o'clock at night and by themselves were quite an uncommon occurrence at Number Five Godric Lane.

Sirius opens the door at the second knock. The figures of his younger brother and a young woman standing on his front porch both looking gloomy.

"Regulus?" The girl looks younger than his brother, very attractive-- well, she would be, he assumes, if she weren't wearing a scowl that rivaled Regulus's cloudy expression. Sirius leans against his door frame, crossing his arms against his chest nonchalantly, "And you must be (y/n)."

(y/n) opens her mouth to respond, but Regulus cuts her off before she can confirm or deny his statement, "Can we stay here?" The interruption seems to piss her off further, her anger coming off her in waves as she stares daggers at Regulus.

Sirius looks between the young couple for a beat, "I-- sure? But why are you here? What happened?"

"Walburga." Regulus steps forwards to enter, prompting Sirius to move out of the way of his brother and sister-in-law. (y/n) gives him an apologetic look but doesn't say anything as she follows her husband into the small space of Sirius's living room.

He wonders what Regulus has done to piss his wife off so thoroughly as he watches them take a seat on his couch, Regulus somewhere near the middle cushion and (y/n) as far to the right as she possibly can be without sitting on the armrest.

Sirius sits adjacent to them in the comfy reclining chair. After a moment of silence, he sighs, "So, are you going to tell me what's happened?"

"We'll only be here for a couple of days at the least. There was no way we could spend another night-- there."

"I don't care how long you stay. Stay as long as you need to." Sirius looks at (y/n), who still has not said a word to him or Regulus. She's not even looking at either of them, her lips drawn tight and her fingers neatly folded together on her lap. "Were you disowned?"

Regulus's eyes meet his, "No. Can we talk in the kitchen? Just for a moment."

"Sure," Sirius stands up, "I've been rude, though. (y/n) would you like anything to drink?"

The girl's eyes meet his, "Water would be fine, thank you."

"I'll be right back with your water." He leads Regulus into the small kitchen.

"Why are you speaking to me with your wife not present? And what happened anyway?" Sirius opens the cabinet, reaching for a glass as he speaks.

"I wasn't disowned specifically because of (y/n). I know it's the truth. Walburga thinks she's possibly pregnant, and besides, I am sure my father-in-law would be furious to find out our parents ruined his daughter's future over me."

"Is she?" Sirius asks as the glass overflows as he fills it.

"Is she what?"

Sirius rolls his eyes, "Is your wife pregnant?" Honestly, he can understand why (y/n) may be annoyed with Regulus. His little brother was always so distracted by his own thoughts he could hardly converse at a normal rate. Skipping over questions and statements, eager to give his take or changing the subject. He could sometimes be exhausting to talk to, especially if you weren't used to Regulus and his ways.

Regulus scoffs as if Sirius was an idiot to suggest such a thing, "I've never failed to cast a contraceptive charm before. It's just an inkling the woman has, hoping that even as I continue to put up a fight against her ridiculous opinions on how my-- my relationship should look, or how it should operate. Of course, when she suggested that... conceiving an heir was a family matter, I told her it wasn't any of her business. Which she didn't like, at all."

"So you're hanging on as the heir because she's convinced (y/n) is carrying your heir?" Regulus makes a face, the only convincing Sirius needed that he wasn't telling him the complete truth.

"I assume that's what she thinks. You know Walburga. She's convinced sex is strictly reproductive."

Sirius chuckles, "talk about your sex life much with dear old mum, eh Reggie?"

Regulus's frown deepens. Oh, how his younger sibling hated teasing, "of course not. She's become a complete nutter about my private matters. I don't even know how she figured out I was using the charm."

"Well, she is a nutter. Maybe she has Kreacher following you around." It's meant as a joke, but Regulus seems to question if there's some truth in the words. "Oh, c'mon Regulus. Wouldn't you notice the little creep if he had been what-- hiding underneath the bed?" Sirius stifles a laugh. Imagining the little gremlin sneaking into Regulus's bedroom to spy on him from under the bed. The image of Kreacher under the bed, the springs of the bed, knocking against his lumpy head.

"It's not funny. That's entirely possible--" Regulus takes the glass from Sirius's hand, downing it in one go.

"Hey! That was for (y/n)!"

In a very not-raised-by-Walburga-Black manner, Regulus wipes his mouth with the back of his sleeve, nearly slamming the glass on the countertop, "You can refill it."

Sirius mutters something about Regulus being a 'little git' as he refills the glass and pushing past Regulus to bring the glass to (y/n).

"Here you go." The younger woman takes the glass from him, smiling. The smile seems false in his opinion, her eyes immensely sad.

Sirius practically scurries back to his chair, "right-- so all I have to offer is a couch, which I suppose we can transfigure into a bed? Hopefully, that's okay?" His eyes meet (y/n)'s ignoring a sulking Regulus who sits down next to his wife.

"Of course. Thank you." (y/n) stands, looking at Regulus, "Do you mind?" He scowls but gets up off the couch, shuffling towards Sirius. Both brothers watch as (y/n) pulls her wand from her sleeve.

With an elegant flick of her wand, the couch transforms into a comfortable-looking bed large enough to fit two adults.

Looking pleased with her work, (y/n) sits back on the edge of the bed. Almost reluctantly, Regulus sits on the side of the bed (y/n) isn't occupying.

Again, Sirius has the desire to laugh. Clearly, there has been some sort of spat between the couple. Their mother's rudeness can't be the only thing that's got the couple this worked up.

The uncomfortable silence that overcomes the three of them is unbearable. In an attempt to put an end to the awkwardness, Sirius, with a grin, speaks, "I'm still baffled that I didn't get a wedding invitation."

Neither (y/n) nor Regulus look amused by his words.

"This is not the time, Sirius." If looks could kill, Regulus would have surely ended his life.

***

Undoubtedly, Regulus and Sirius shared DNA. I ponder the similarities between my husband and his older brother as I get ready for bed. They both have the same piercing grey eyes and deep brown hair. But their differences could be plainly seen as well. Regulus is a tad bit taller and far skinnier than Sirius. And Sirius's hair is much longer.

Even as their faces share similarities, Regulus always seems to wear a frown while Sirius clearly had an air of ease. Funnily enough, the frown that Regulus wears doesn't match the woman you'd think he would resemble, as Sirius was the one who favored his mother's sharp features. Regulus had clearly inherited Orion's bone structure.

Undoubtedly though, both men were attractive in their own way.

Spitting toothpaste into the basin, I make a face when the thought pops in my head that I find Regulus more handsome than his brother.

I suppose I am allowed to be biased, or at least should be biased, as I'm married to Regulus, but-- I feel silly thinking about this.

Walking back into the makeshift bedroom, I pass Regulus, who doesn't even meet my eye. We've barely spoken since we arrived in Godric's Hollow, only passing looks of anger between us. Part of me longs to reach out and grab his arm, tell him I overreacted, that I'm sorry... but am I really sorry? Or was I just longing for him to whisper sweet things as he held me in bed how he has for the past weeks? I certainly could go one night, or maybe even a few, without his touch.

Unfortunately, I very much wanted him to play the loving husband again. I wanted to listen to his stories and comfort him when painful memories were brought up. I wanted to kiss him in all the ways we could think. Soft and sensual, deep and unforgiving... I wanted the goodnight kisses and the sleepy morning ones.

I obviously-- I don't love him, not yet. Maybe never if this rollercoaster of hot and cold continues on with us. But I did find myself craving affection and attention from Regulus in a way that would suggest feelings had been developing.

And Gods, did I hope that he felt at least an inkling of these developing feelings of mine. Regulus could be soft and sweet in moments, but part of me wondered if he only felt something for me when I was beneath him. It-- was a thought that had begun to plague my mind as our honeymoon had taken a turn for the better.

I had no proof that he didn't have budding feelings for me; I ultimately felt insecure because of that fight.

The way he spoke to me reminded me of every time I was scolded by my parents or grandmother. Like I was a dumb child who didn't have a say in a decision like practically running away from home-- his home.

Climbing into bed, I pull the blanket up towards my chin. The curtains aren't completely drawn, leaving an opening for a sliver of moon to be seen.

I feel my eyes grow tired as I focus on the moon's illumination.

***

Regulus makes his way back into the living room, meaning to discuss their spat. Guilt had sat in the back of his mind since their argument, but he needed her to realize that the anger he showed hadn't been aimed at her. It was stupid to assume that she would just know and understand the history between himself and his parents, and why wouldn't she assume he was attacking her when he raised his voice?

Part of Regulus had hoped she would just understand, and he wouldn't have to explain the rocky relationship between his family to her. (y/n) could be incredibly understanding, but she wasn't a mind reader. He had been unfair.

The carefully crafted apology he had rehearsed in the bathroom as he brushed his teeth sat at the tip of his tongue, dying instantly when he noticed her already under the covers of their makeshift bed.

The moon shines through Sirius's shitty, cheap curtains, casting a beautiful glow on her.

His voice comes out quiet as he calls her name into the dark. Her body doesn't stir, and he walks closer to the bed. The gentle rise and fall of her sleeping form has him convinced she really has fallen asleep without him.

Almost by instinct, he gets into bed, moving closer to wrap her up in his arms, but he hesitates, wondering if she'd even want to be held by him after their fight.

He feels the pang of sadness at the thought that she may not want his touch any longer.

Regulus reasons with himself that if she really didn't want him near her, she would push him away during the night. Maybe-- maybe she would wake up with his body pressed up close against hers, and it could fix something, or at least maybe she'd wake up less angry at him.

Carefully he moves so she's tucked against his body, his arm wrapping around her waist the way he knows she likes best. With a content sigh, she settles back against his body.

Regulus holds still, making sure she hasn't woken up, eventually relaxing and burying his face in her hair.

At least as she sleeps, she still desires him.

[ruby-whistler]

Why c!Dream should (and probably will be) redeemed

Hi! I’m bad with intros. You’ve read the title, so, let’s start with the definitions.

In this essay, we are considering the popularized definition of “redemption” instead of the classical one, which is, as per the Oxford Dictionary, “the act of saving or state of being saved from the power of evil; the act of redeeming.” That’s not however the way the word is used in fandom and media.

/dsmp /rp

The definition of redemption I’ll be working with in this essay is not forgiveness by the people who c!Dream has hurt, nor is it removing himself entirely from his past actions, but moreso the decision to change for the better and abandon destructive mindsets for himself and others.

A “redemption” in a narrative sense would be circumstances and a character arc that would allow that kind of healing and betterment.

I’d like to start this off by the fact that being “irredeemable”, in this sense, also doesn’t exist; redemption is a thing of conditions and choice, not of being allowed by someone else. You can’t gatekeep healing from people who seek it, just to be clear, and that even goes for people who have done terrible things.

Since I understand there is a lot of concern for c!Dream’s past actions, here is a post from people who are much more fit than me to speak on the matter, about the way in which they see a possible c!Dream redemption arc.

Another disclaimer, I am not going to be considering c!Dream only from the perspective of c!Tommy in this essay. c!Dream appears in other people’s perspectives and he himself has his own, unseen perspective. As a character, he is an individual person in his own right rather than just the antagonist of c!Tommy’s story, and so I do not have much concern for their narratives intertwining too much should this writing choice occur.

I’d also like to note that redemption is, in this sense, always a positive thing for everyone involved - someone who’s been prone to doing bad things in the past deciding not to do them anymore and try to change, or just simply heal enough to consider it, isn’t going to have a long-term negative effect in any of the characters, but rather the other way around. Healing is an unlimited resource, and the victims do not have to heal first for the person who hurt them to consider being better.

Here’s a well-written thread on Twitter that elaborates a bit to finish off this point, and let’s move on to actually talking about redemption in the context of the Dream SMP, and c!Dream specifically.

Why a c!Dream redemption arc is not only a good writing choice, but in this case the only good writing choice;

c!Dream, as we all know, has been subject to mental and physical abuse to the point of straight up torture by both c!Sam and c!Quackity (to different extents). He has been in indescribable amounts of suffering for the past 74 days at the time this essay will be published. That is six and something times the duration of the entire exile arc in canon.

Whatever the interpretation of his words in prison is, what is undeniable is first of all the fact his mental stability is absolutely crushed at this point, second that no human being could possibly ever deserve to undergo this, and third, his stay in the prison is showing off his humanity and making him out to be sympathetic.

Now, consider this; how would it feel if c!Tommy died at the end of the exile arc? Empty, there would be no catharsis to such an end, especially because of all of the hurt he’d gone through. Objectively, a bad writing choice.

Let’s compare, narratively of course, this situation to the prison arc. Even though I would never say one of them is “better” or “worse” than the other, since both are terrible and undeserved, c!Dream’s current state checks off all of the boxes that would make his death unsatisfying in the storyline; even if people want him gone, there would still be the dissatisfaction at the current build-up and why they even did it in the first place (it really wasn’t necessary to anyone else’s story to make him out as a victim, and yet they did) if they were planning to kill him off anyways. And since the prison arc is naturally meant to induce sympathy, even from an angst perspective it would simply not make sense within the themes and writing of the plot.

So, c!Dream can’t die, and he also can’t stay in the prison forever - the build-up must lead to something, which is logically a breakout. Great… what now?

Well, the Dream SMP prides itself in accurate representation of trauma and mental instability, specifically cc!Tommy and cc!Dream who have pulled it off incredibly during the exile arc.

Now, undoubtedly, after the prison, c!Dream is going to be just terribly traumatized- considering the writers’ past creative decisions, would it make sense for him to play the role of a dangerous, heartless villain in other people’s stories, while completely ignoring the logical fallout of what he’s been through?

In my mind, no. The most possible result is that cc!Dream is going to rightfully portray someone who’s been hurt so much he is broken, scared and tortured into submissions over months of agony and slowly stripping away of his agency, his dignity, his humanity. And that is… not going to be pretty, nor is he going to be in any way the same as before.

After everything, I’d be surprised if he can properly look at shears without shaking. That’s not villain behaviour, that’s the behaviour of someone who needs help.

Which leads me to another point, which is relatability. Believe me or not, there are people out there who heavily relate to c!Dream because they have been through things that allow them to see themselves in the character - abandonment, mental illness, etc. - or who have had destructive mindsets they have struggled to let go of in the past.

To them, as well as to the viewer, redeeming c!Dream could actually be a very good example, showcasing that anyone who has done bad things or has been hurt in the past can learn that it is possible to be better, to move on, to not be stuck in a loop but to actively seek help and then use that support to find the path to healing.

Making c!Dream a better person, who in a way, wins over his past, over his trauma, over the hurt he’s caused, and manages to actually get better… is inspiring, in a sense. It shows that you can abandon unhealthy mindsets, you can find a support group of people who care about you, you can make your life better simply by deciding to be better and then sticking to that, no matter how difficult the process.

This is why I believe that redeeming c!Dream would not be bad writing, but quite the opposite, and that the prison arc is an obvious set-up. Alright, but how does that work with the character? How could someone so widely hated mentally improve in such a seemingly violent and terrible environment? Would it even make sense within the context of c!Dream’s character so far? Well,

Why c!Dream has the capacity for healing and the Dream SMP the ability to provide it;

First of all, let’s remind ourselves that through c!Dream’s entire spiral he wasn’t ever directly given a chance to change. He was regarded as someone to defeat in order to accomplish a happy ending, or as someone who needed to be removed in order to achieve power on the SMP. Ever since the 16th, which is when the corruption of the character is the most obvious, there have been no attempts to reach out or to help him. I do not blame the characters for this - I am simply pointing out that since it has never happened before, we do not know how he would respond, and that, after everything he’s been through, any bit of kindness or compassion towards him will be a new concept he will have to learn to deal with somehow.

This point is especially driven home by the fact that both c!Quackity and c!Sam would often tell him he is a monster who deserves nothing but to suffer, and that what he’s going through is never going to amount to all the hurt he’s caused - basically removing any possibility for ever getting better (because by this logic, he doesn’t deserve support, and he doesn’t deserve to get better) from his line of sight.

He also hasn’t had a support system since shortly after the 16th, when his friends left him over c!George’s dethronement and made no effort to mend their relationship afterwards. c!Dream isn’t used to having allies and people on his side, but to being hated; again, wouldn’t that mean positive reinforcement could very well be all he needs to make the choice?

His bad mindsets - attachments are weakness, ends always justify the means, people will consider you a bad person no matter what you do - have been continuously proven right by his environment, even in prison. Any kind of subversion, plus an explanation as to why they are wrong, could be of great help to c!Dream.

Just another disclaimer; I do not believe c!Dream would change thanks to the treatment in prison, but rather despite it. His mental stability is non-existent at that point, and in order to get better he needs genuine emotional support from the people around him as well as to heal before he can redeem himself.

Alright, but… c!Dream has hurt a lot of people. Who would be fit to help him?

Let’s start off with the worst option and why it’s impossible the writers would even attempt this; c!Tommy.

c!Tommy has no responsibility to help or ever forgive c!Dream - not to say he could. The two, as it is, would drag each other down instead of helping in any capacity, and only make matters worse. The two of them shouldn’t even interact in the best case scenario - the best thing for both of them would be if they got enough healing and support individually that they could live around each other and not get their trauma or toxic habits triggered when interacting for whatever purpose of the plot.

So, if not c!Tommy (and c!Tubbo neither by extension), who could redeem c!Dream?

Well, he can’t do it on his own for sure. Being in nature with animals is nice, but further isolation from other people would merely help with the prison trauma, not with the state of his tendencies when interacting with others. He, once again, needs positive reinforcement from other people for him to heal properly.

There are two main options for this in my mind, and then there’s a few individuals he could also find comfort in, including people from both groups or those unaligned.

1) Kinoko Kingdom

From the people of this new country, c!Dream has never negatively interacted with c!Karl before, he has never hurt c!George and he hasn’t directly harmed c!Sapnap. Although the relationship with his old friend group could be difficult to rekindle, none of them have grudges against him that are too personal, and they have been canonically close friends since the beginning of the SMP, so it would be very much possible to rebuild burnt bridges. They’d be familiar, and with the addition of c!Karl they could be a good source of comfort for c!Dream after he either breaks out or is released from prison - just gotta convince c!Sapnap not to kill him first.

2) The Syndicate

From the Syndicate, c!Dream has never directly interacted with c!Nikki, and from what I know of her character she never seemed to be very affected by his actions - even doing his work for him when he was planning to burn down the L’Mantree. c!Techno is an ally who doesn’t have anything against him, and as for c!Ranboo, here is why I believe c!Dream being in the Syndicate could be positively influential on his character arc as well;

c!Ranboo and c!Philza have had a conversation about change, during which c!Ranboo made it clear he thinks everyone can change except for c!Dream; who, in his mind, is “too deep down the rabbit hole”. c!Philza replied that he thinks anyone can change if given enough time.

… you see what I’m getting at?

c!Dream has been implied to be an ally to c!Ranboo’s enderwalk state (or the state when he has access to his full memory), and hence would most likely not behave negatively towards him at all. While it might make it more difficult for c!Ranboo to deal with his own issues, it might also give him more motivation to get to the bottom of it as well, especially since he now has access to the person who, presumably, started this all. While this is going on, c!Dream would show himself in a much different light than c!Ranboo sees himin, which could lead to confusion, realization of the flaws in his own logic, and hence, positive character development.

Here’s a great post about why c!Techno as a character could be a great asset in c!Dream’s healing process & redemption, and why there is not much need to worry about him not knowing or finding out about c!Dream’s actions.

Of Kinoko Kingdom and the Syndicate, as far as I know, neither c!Tommy nor c!Tubbo have ever been directly involved with these groups, nor are they planning to.

Another important point to make is that, while c!Tommy needs to be kept away from c!Dream in order to heal properly, the same goes for c!Quackity and c!Sam in c!Dream’s case. While c!Quackity has high chances to interact with either Kinoko Kingdom or the Syndicate in the future, there’s an even higher chance, in that situation, that c!Dream would be offered protection, which is also important; there is no healing from trauma without the knowledge of safety, to some degree.

So, this was an essay as to why I think c!Dream’s recovery and redemption (one needs to come before the other, naturally) is not only extremely possible but also could be pulled off well and have a positive impact on both the characters, and the audience.

[yuyuntianyu]

[2HA analysis blog] To love you is torment but leave you I cannot

I wanted to write this (hopefully not-too-long) blog to give 2HA fandom a different perspective of the events in the past timeline. I noticed that there are many little things that could not be carried over to the English language. These little things can give more explanations to our characters’ actions so I hope sharing this would help the novel make more sense. This blog focuses on Taxian-jun and Chu Fei.

Warning: Spoilers ! ! ! Taxian-jun and Chu Fei are their own trigger warnings ! ! !

Despite the novel having 350 chapters, we really know little about what happened between Taxian-jun and Chu Fei besides the abuse and mistreatment and that little is relayed to us by the Most Unreliable Narrator of the Cultivation World - Mo Ran Mo Weiyu. If we only take Mo Ran for his words then a lot of his and Chu Wanning’s decisions told later on would seem irrational and almost silly. So let’s dive deep in the past so we can understand how the great cultivator Beidou Xian-zun could raise such a dumb husky since the events in the past would explain the more irrational decisions made by both main characters.

Given Mo Ran’s narrator is about as reliable as his character in the first 120 chapters, we have to look at other more subtle clues and some of them are due to cultural and linguistic differences.

1. I used to like you a lot

At his coronation day, Taxian-jun stated that he once greatly looked up to Chu Wanning and that he used to love and respect him dearly. Maybe I am reading into this too much but this is my theory: The flower could erase the memory itself but cannot erase the feelings associated with the memory. He had his memories of the good deeds Chu Wanning did for him erased but still remembered that he used to love and respect him. It doesn’t make sense unless it is indeed that the flower could not erase its host’s feelings. So throughout the novel, Mo Ran’s complicated emotions are complicated possibly because he could not remember how he came to have these feelings. Similarly, Hua Binan could mess with the undead Taxian-jun’s memory to a great extent but could not erase his obsession with Chu Wanning.

2. I gave you a new title

Chu Fei. 楚妃. In the Imperial Chinese harem hierarchy, “Fei” means consort and not concubine (嬪 “Pín"). Consorts were highly respected positions in the palace weidling much political power and were only seconds to the Empress Consort. Another major difference is a consort would be married to the emperor while a concubine would not. So if Taxian-jun had truly wanted to only humiliate Chu Wanning and keep him for the carnal pleasures (I am intentionally ignoring his breeding kink completely), he would keep him as a concubine but he gave Chu Wanning the Consort title and hid him from the world. At this point, Taxian-jun had almost lost Chu Wanning once and had spent a lot of effort to bring him back from the verge of death after hearing Chu Wanning’s apology so his anger might have softened a bit. Also, given that Chu Wanning is a man, having a legitimate offspring ( (I am still intentionally ignoring Mo Ran's breeding kink completely) is not an issue so although this is not clearly stated, I believe Taxian-jun wanted to force a relationship and somewhat proper marriage on Chu Wanning. Another hint of this is in an Extra chapter where Taxian-jun tried to get Chu Wanning a birthday gift. He recalled that in his past timeline, he had wanted Chu Wanning to give him something on his birthday as well and that he had wanted Chu Wanning’s heart.

3. Shizun likes to write letters and poems

On Book 3 Chapter 247, Chu Wanning sat down and wrote a few unsent letters to the people he used to know. He also wrote a few lines of poetry. In the first few lines taken from different literature works, he expressed his sense of helplessness and his wish to remain untainted despite the circumstances. The more important two lines are from a poem written by a real poet named Fàn Chéngdà ( 范成大) who lived in the 12th century Southern-Song dynasty. The two lines read:

“May I be like the stars, may you* be as the moon. Night after night, may we shine together side by side.” **

*In the original work, the character used instead of you is “jun” 君 (as in 踏仙君 Taxian-jun). 君 could mean king, emperor, lord, or gentleman ** This is my rough translation - I haven’t found an English version of this poem

These two lines are commonly used in romantic novels as a way to express one’s unchanging love and loyalty to another person despite the circumstances. He compared himself as the stars and wanted to remain by Taxian-jun whom he viewed as the moon. Chu Wanning wrote this to express his willingness to stay but he would never voice this out loud. In the next timeline, he did the same thing by quietly loving and caring for Mo Ran 1.0 despite the mistreatment and was content with never expressing his feelings vocally. Mo Ran was rather uneducated and thus could not fully comprehend these two lines and misunderstood that Chu Wanning was missing Xue Meng.

4. You are all I have left

In chapter 252, after Chu Wanning returned to The Red Lotus Pavilion, he found Taxian-jun already waiting for him. Taxian-jun told Chu Wanning about a dream he had and said:

“I am afraid I don’t resent you… I want to resent you… Otherwise, I…” “In the end, it’s just you and I”.

This is not the first time he expressed that Chu Wanning was all he had left or they only had each other. I believe that at this point, Taxian-jun might have somewhat believed Chu Wanning and recognized that his memories were missing. His words and behaviors seemed a lot more gentle and he mentioned they did have periods of time where their marriage was easier. I believe it was after this point. He told us about the numerous times he attempted to spoil his consort or expressed his affection through gifts, a trip outside the palace, goods, jewels, and even teaching Chu Wanning how to cook or personally taking care of Chu Wanning when he was sick. At one point, Taxian-jun expressed his wish for a more peaceful marriage with Chu Wanning through his breeding kink by saying that if they had children, perhaps they would be more civil towards each other.

Edit: I really wanted to go about this blog without having to refer to their particular taste in bed

5. Are you still mad?

This is a smaller detail but in the original text and the Vietnamese official translation, the way they talked to each other had a bit more of the “husband-wife” dynamic. Especially Chu Wanning ( l┐(︶▽︶)┌ ), the comment section said he sounded like when your wife is mad that you didn’t take out the trash but still says: “I’m not mad” and Taxian-jun, the husband, would come around and ask “Are you still mad at me?” after every fight.

6. I did not think you would really leave me.

On Chapter 99, Mo Ran recalled the fight between him and Chu Wanning after an assassination attempt. In order to convince Mo Ran to not go to Taxue Palace, Chu Wanning said:

“If you destroy Taxue palace, if you kill Xue Meng, I will die before you”.

Now the line “I will die before you” in my language is less of a suicidal ideation but more of a threat. It's used when a person already knows that they are important to the other person and is using their own death as a threat to make the other person do something. This line is thrown around a lot during heated arguments between people close to each other but they almost never mean it. (Even my mom said it numerous times before T_T . I personally think it’s manipulative). Therefore, it is understandable Taxian-jun did not take this line seriously and replied almost mockingly. After all, they had been married for almost a decade at that point, Taxian-jun probably felt somewhat comfortable that Chu Wanning would not do anything reckless. He could not foresee that Chu Wanning meant what he said and actually followed through with his words. I believe that if Taxian-jun had known that Chu Wanning was serious, Taxian-jun would not have gone to Taxue Palace. 7. Don't leave me, ok?

Then Chu Wanning died and Mo Ran spent two years alone. In those two years, we know he basically went insane because of grief, talked to a corpse everyday, and deep fried his Empress Consort. But strangely enough, Mo Ran 1.0 did not immediately mention this after being reborn although it was the main reason he committed suicide. And at that point, it had been well over a decade since Shi Mei faked his death in the past timeline, yet Mo Ran 1.0 seemed to still hold a lot of resentment towards Chu Wanning. Also, he said he could accept Shi Mei’s death but would never accept Chu Wanning’s. So honestly, it did not make sense to me the first time I read the novel and I believed Mo Ran resented Chu Wanning for a different reason.

The answer was first hinted at in chapter 9 when Mo Ran scolded the sleeping Chu Wanning. He called Chu Wanning a donkey hoof (lol) and this is actually an idiom to scold someone who is disloyal and unfaithful in love. The puzzles came together when the undead Taxian-jun showed up and immediately went after Chu Wanning (and not Shi Mei). He believed Chu Wanning used his death to hurt him and was angry at Chu Wanning for leaving him. This is the resentment Mo Ran 1.0 carried over to the next timeline. He hated Chu Wanning for abandoning him. This is solidified in chapter 262 by the undead Taxian-jun pleading to Chu Wanning:

“Don’t betray me” “Don’t leave me the second time. The first time you left, I could choose death as a relief. This time, even death is not an option any more… I won’t be able to bear it…”

So there it is! I hope this blog brings some new information and feel free to discuss! Let me know if you have any questions for me ＼(￣▽￣)／

Disclaimer: Plenty of this is my conclusion drawn from the already ambiguous original text and various translations. Unless Meatbun says it, it’s not canon. I am looking at the novel in three different languages so I might have made some mistakes. Pls forgive. Also, I am not making excuses for Mo Ran 0.5’s actions nor am I justifying the abuse in any way. Chu Wanning never said Mo Ran 0.5 was innocent of these crimes nor will I.

[writingwithcolor]

Jurassic period alien interacting with key cultures and historical figures in Middle East & Asia throughout history

@ketchupmaster400​ said:

Hello, so my question is for a character I’ve been working on for quite a while but wasn’t sure about a few things. So basically at the beginning of the universe there was this for less being made up of dark matter and dark energy. Long story short it ends up on earth during the Jurassic Period. It has the ability to adapt and assimilate into other life animals except it’s hair is always black and it’s skin is always white and it’s eyes are always red. It lives like this going from animal to animal until it finally becomes human and gains true sentience and self awareness. As a human it lives within the Middle East and Asia wondering around trying to figure out its purpose and meaning. So what I initially wanted to do with it was have small interactions with the dark matter human and other native humans that kinda helped push humanity into the direction it is now. For example, Mehndhi came about when the dark matter human was drawing on their skin because it felt insecure about having such white skin compared to other people. And ancient Indians saw it and thought it was cool so they adopted it and developed it into Mehndi. Minor and small interactions though early history leading to grander events. Like they would be protecting Jerusalem and it’s people agains the Crusaders later on. I also had the idea of the the dark matter human later on interacting with the prophets Jesus Christ and Muhammad. With Jesus they couldn’t understand why he would sacrifice himself even though the people weren’t deserving. And then Jesus taught them that you have to put other before yourself and protecting people is life’s greatest reward. And then with the prophet Muhammad, I had the idea that their interaction was a simple conversation that mirrors the one he had with the angel Jibril, that lead to the principles of Islam. Now with these ideas I understand the great importance of how not to convey Islam and I’ve been doing reasearch, but I am white and I can understand how that may look trying to write about a different religion than my own. So I guess ultimate my question is, is this ok to do? Is it ok to have an alien creature interact with religious people and historical events as important as they were? Like I said I would try to be as accurate and as respectable as possible but I know that Islam can be a touchy subject and the last thing I would want is to disrespect anyone. The main reason I wanted the dark matter being in the Middle East was because I wanted to do something different because so much has been done with European and American stuff I wanted to explore the eastern side of the world because it’s very beau and very rich with so many cultures that I want to try and represent. I’m sorry for the long post but I wanted you guys to fully understand what my idea was. Thank you for your time and hope you stay safe.

Disclaimer:

The consensus from the moderators was that the proposed character and story is disrespectful from multiple cultural perspectives. However, we can’t ignore the reality that this is a commonly deployed trope in many popular science fiction/ thriller narratives. Stories that seek to take religious descriptions of events at face value from an areligious perspective particularly favor this approach. Thus, we have two responses:

Where we explain why we don’t believe this should be attempted.

Where we accept the possibility of our advice being ignored.

1) No - Why You Shouldn’t Do This:

Hi! I’ll give you the short answer first, and then the extended one.

Short answer: no, this is not okay.

Extended answer. I’ll divide it into three parts.

1) Prophet Muhammad as a character:

Almost every aspect of Islam, particularly Allah (and the Qur’an), the Prophet(s) and the companions at the time of Muhammad ﷺ, are strictly kept within the boundaries of real life/reality. I’ll assume this comes from a good place, and I can understand that from one side, but seriously, just avoid it. It is extremely disrespectful and something that is not even up to debate for Muslims to do, let alone for non-Muslims. Using Prophet Muhammad as a character will only bring you problems. There is no issue with mentioning the Prophet during his lifetime when talking about his attributes, personality, sayings or teachings, but in no way, we introduce fictional aspects in a domain that Muslims worked, and still work, hard to keep free from any doubtful event or incident. Let’s call it a closed period: we don’t add anything that was not actually there.

Reiterating then, don’t do this. There is a good reason why Muslims don’t have any pictures of Prophet Muhammad. We know nothing besides what history conveyed from him. 

After this being said, there is another factor you missed – Jesus is also an important figure in Islam and his story from the Islamic perspective differs (a lot) from that of the Christian perspective. And given what you said in your ask, you would be taking the Christian narrative of Jesus. If it was okay to use Prophet Muhammad as a character (reminder: it’s not) and you have had your dark matter human interacting with the biblical Jesus, it will result in a complete mess; you would be conflating two religions.

2) Crusaders and Jerusalem:

You said this dark matter human will be defending Jerusalem against the Crusaders. At first, there is really no problem with this. However, ask yourself: is this interaction a result of your character meeting with both Jesus and Prophet Muhammed? If yes, please refer to the previous point. If not, or even if you just want to maintain this part of the story, your dark matter human can interact with the important historical figures of the time. For example, if you want a Muslim in your story, you can use Salah-Ad-Din Al-Ayoubi (Saladin in the latinized version) that took back Jerusalem during the Third Crusade. Particularly, this crusade has plenty of potential characters. 

Also, featuring Muslim characters post Prophet Muhammad and his companions’ time, is completely fine, just do a thorough research.

 3) Middle Eastern/South Asian settings and Orientalism:

The last point I want to remark is with the setting you chose for your story. Many times, when we explore the SWANA or South Asian regions it’s done through an orientalist lens. Nobody is really safe from falling into orientalism, not even the people from those regions. My suggestion is educating yourself in what orientalism is and how it’s still prevalent in today’s narrative. Research orientalism in entertainment, history... and every other area you can think of. Edward Said coined this term for the first time in history, so he is a good start. There are multiple articles online that touch this subject too. For further information, I defer to middle eastern mods. 

- Asmaa

Racism and Pseudo-Archaeology:

A gigantic, unequivocal and absolute no to all of it, lmao. 

I will stick to the bit about the proposed origin of mehendi in your WIP, it’s the arc I feel I’m qualified to speak on, Asmaa has pretty much touched upon the religious and orientalism complications. 

Let me throw out one more word: pseudoarchaeology. That is, taking the cultural/spiritual/historical legacies of ancient civilizations, primarily when it involves people of colour, and crediting said legacies to be the handiwork of not just your average Outsider/White Saviour but aliens. I’ll need you to think carefully about this: why is it that in so much of media and literature pertaining to the so-called “conspiracy theories” dealing with any kind of extraterrestrial life, it’s always Non-Western civilizations like the Aztec, the ancient Egyptians, the Harappans etc who are targeted? Why is it that the achievements of the non West are so unbelievable that it’s more feasible to construct an idea of non-human, magical beings from another planet who just conveniently swooped in to build our monuments and teach us how to dress and what to believe in? If the answer makes you uncomfortable, it’s because it should: denying the Non-West agency of their own feats is not an innocent exercise in sci-fi worldbuilding, it comes loaded with implications of racial superiority and condescension towards the intellect and prowess of Non-European cultures. 

Now, turning to specifics:

Contrary to what Sarah J. Maas might believe- mehendi designs are neither mundane, purely aesthetic tattoos nor can they be co-opted by random Western fantasy characters. While henna has existed as an art form in various cultures, I’m limiting my answer to the Indian context, (specifying since you mention ancient India). Mehendi is considered one of the tenets of the Solah Shringar- sixteen ceremonial adornments for Hindu brides, one for each phase of the moon, as sanctioned by the Vedic texts. The shade of the mehendi is a signifier for the strength of the matrimonial bond: the darker the former, the stronger the latter. Each of the adornments carries significant cosmological/religious symbolism for Hindus. To put it bluntly, when you claim this to be an invention of the aliens, you are basically taking a very sacred cultural and artistic motif of our religion and going “Well actually….extraterrestrials taught them all this.”

In terms of Ayurveda (Traditional holistic South Asian medicine)  , mehendi was used for its medicinal properties. It works as a cooling agent on the skin and helps to alleviate stress, particularly for the bride-to-be. Not really nice to think that aliens lent us the secrets of Ayurvedic science (pseudoarchaeology all over again). 

I’m just not feeling this arc at all. The closest possible alternative I could see to this is the ancient Indian characters incorporating some specific stylistic motifs in their mehendi in acknowledgement to this entity, in the same vein of characters incorporating motifs of tribute into their armour or house insignia, but even so, I’m not sure how well that would play out. If you do go ahead with this idea, I cannot affirm that it will not receive backlash.

-Mimi

These articles might help:

 Pseudoarchaeology and the Racism Behind Ancient Aliens

A History of Indian Henna (this studies mehendi origins mostly with reference to Mughal history)

Solah Shringar

2) Not Yes, But If Ignoring the Above:

I will be the dissenting voice of “Not No, But Here Are The Big Caveats.” Given that there is no way to make the story you want to tell palatable to certain interpretations of Islam and Christianity, here is my advice if the above arguments did not sufficiently deter you.

1. Admiration ≠ Research: It is not enough to just admire cultures for their richness and beauty. You need to actually do the research and learn about them to determine if the story you want to tell is a good fit for the values and principles these cultures prioritize. You need to understand the significance of historical figures and events to understand the issues with attributing the genesis of certain cultural accomplishments to an otherworldly influence. 1.

2. Give Less Offense When Possible and Think Empathetically: You should try to imagine the mindsets of those you will offend and think about to what degree you can soften or ameliorate certain aspects of your plot, the creature’s characteristics, and the creature’s interactions with historical figures to make your narrative more compatible. There is no point pretending that much of areligious science fiction is incompatible with monotheist, particularly non-henotheistic, religious interpretations as well as the cultural items and rituals derived from those religious interpretations. One can’t take “There is no god, just a lonely alien” and make that compatible with “There is god, and only in this particular circumstance.” Thus:

As stated above by Asmaa and Mimi, there is no escaping the reality the story you propose is offensive to some. Expect their outcry to be directed towards you. Can you tolerate that?

Think about how you would feel if someone made a story where key components of your interpretation of reality are singled out as false. How does this make you feel? Are you comfortable doing that to others?

3. Is Pseudoarchaeology Appropriate Here?: Mimi makes a good point about the racial biases of pseudoarchaeology. Pseudoarchaeology is a particular weakness of Western-centric atheist sci-fi. Your proposed story is the equivalent of a vaguely non-descript Maya/Aztec/Egyptian pyramid or Hindu/ Buddhist-esque statue being the source for a Resident Evil bio weapon/ Predator nest/ Assassin’s Creed Isu relic.

Is this how you wish to draw attention to these cultures you admire? While there is no denying their ubiquity in pop-culture, such plots trivialize broad swathes of non-white history and diminish the accomplishments of associated ethnic groups. The series listed above all lean heavily into these tropes either because the authors couldn’t bother to figure out something more creative or because they are intentionally telling a story the audience isn’t supposed to take seriously.*

More importantly, I detect a lot of sincerity in your ask, so I imagine such trivialization runs counter to your expressed desire to depict Eastern cultures in a positive and accurate manner.

4. Freedom to Write ≠ Freedom from Consequence: Once again, as a reminder, it’s not our job to reassure you as to whether or not what you are proposing is ok. Asmaa and Mimi have put a lot of effort into explaining who you will offend and why.  We are here to provide context, but the person who bears the ultimate responsibility for how you choose to shape this narrative, particularly if you share this story with a wide audience, is you. Speaking as one writer to another, I personally do not have a strong opinion one way or the other, but I think it is important to be face reality head-on.

- Marika.

* This is likely why the AC series always includes that disclaimer stating the games are a product of a multicultural, inter-religious team and why they undermine Western cultures and Western religious interpretations as often (if not moreso) than those for their non-Western counterparts.

Note: Most WWC asks see ~ 5 hours of work from moderators before they go live. Even then, this ask took an unusually long amount of time in terms of research, emotional labor and discussion. If you found this ask (and others) useful, please consider tipping the moderators (link here), Asmaa (coming eventually) and Mimi (here). I also like money - Marika.

[bakuhoes-dumbass]

Aberration - Chapter 1

MHA!Various x Fem!Reader

Thriller/Horror/Drama

Criminal!AU

Words: 2.3k

A/N: Yay, here’s the first chapter of my new AU! It might be a little slower at first but it’ll pick up the further we get into it. So I hope you like this!

Warnings: Yandere Themes, Mentions of murder, blood, felonies, bullying, swearing.

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of MHA, just this story. In no way does this reflect the characters, writers or VAs of the show/manga. MINORS DNI.

~~~

Aberration Masterlist/Character profiles

~~~

In this world, mutations, renamed as ‘Quirks’, are abnormal. Only about 5%-8% of the world population are known to have these so called ‘Quirks’. You are a graduate of one of the most prestigious science tech schools in the country. You’ve been selected to work for a secret scientific research facility that houses some of the most notorious criminals in the nation. Besides their crimes, what makes these individuals incredibly dangerous are their mutations. After meeting these individuals, they seem to have taking a liking to you. That should make your research and search for the cure all that much easier…

Right?

~~~

Before you stands one of the largest facilities you have ever seen. You take a deep breath, attempting to calm your rapidly beating heart. Adjusting the strap on your bag, you make your way into the research center.

Upon entering, you gasp in wonder. The inside is huge, tall pure white walls that meet at a double paned glass ceiling. In front of you is a wall of security, stretching to accommodate the vast interior of the lobby. You walk up to the nearest security officer and give them your information. Thankfully, you were on a list and after checking you over, you're granted entrance to the building.

That's where you meet a man and a woman, both dressed in white lab coats and carrying clipboards. You bow your head to the two of them and they return the gesture.

"Ms. Y/N, I presume? My name is Shota Aizawa and this is my assistant, Momo Yaoyorozu." The older of the two speak.

You smile at the two. "Yes, nice to meet you. I'm Y/N, L/N, graduate of UA science tech. I am so happy to be here and look forward to working with the two of you."

The younger girl nods and smiles, gesturing behind the two of them. "If you would kindly follow us, we can get started."

~~~

"Ms. Y/N, here's the list of the inmates you will be working with from this point on."

Momo hands you a clipboard containing pictures and descriptions of each individual. Your eyes scan the information on the page in front of you, your brow raising with each word you read. "There is… quite a bit of information on these individuals."

Aizawa nods. "Considering how dangerous the subjects are, it's best to have every detail we can."

You internally cringed at the term 'subject'. These were criminals, yes, but they were still living breathing people. Noone deserves to be dehumanized, no matter the reason.

Shaking your head of those thoughts, you continue to look over the notes in your hands. One in particular catches your eye. " 'Multiple counts of 3rd degree murder by reason of insanity' and yet he's only deemed as a level 4 danger?"

The doctor looks over your shoulder at the character profile. "Ah, yes. Fumikage Tokoyami. He's an interesting one, to say the least." You wait for him to continue, but seeing as it doesn't seem like he will, you gesture for him to elaborate. "Tokoyami himself is actually fairly harmless and incredibly cooperating, which is why he gets a level 4 only. However…" Aizawa looks down the hall of the facility to a door near the end. "Dark Shadow is deemed a level 9."

Your eyes shoot up in shock. "Dark Shadow? A level 9? Explain."

"Dark Shadow is his mutation. It's a completely sentient being that he harbors inside of him. Highly dangerous, more so if there is darkness." He looks back at you. "I'll let him explain the reason why he was instituted. He always prefers to explain the story himself."

The more Aizawa explains Tokoyami's situation, the more your excitement builds up, wanting desperately to meet this man. This was such an interesting mutation and you couldn't wait to hear everything he had to tell you. You take a breath to calm your childish manner and clear your throat.

"If it's alright with you, sir, I'd like-" You look down at your clipboard once again. "'Inmate 06' to be the first one I meet with."

Aizawa nods and writes something down in his notebook. "Very well. Follow me this way please."

You follow the doctor down the long white hallway, your excitement growing with each step. Along the way, you notice each door on the facility that lines either side of the stretched hall. Each door had a narrow window towards the top and a small number engraved underneath. You don't take too much notice and keep following the doctor to your destination. However, an eerie feeling makes you freeze in your tracks.

You slowly rotate your head and look at the inmate's door you stopped next to. The color drains from your face as you see two ice blue eyes peering right into yours. It felt like your breath was stolen, a hint of fear and anxiety built up within you from this intense gaze. After what felt like hours, you snap your gaze back to Aizawa and Momo, who were standing in front of a door you were also supposed to be at.

"I would highly advise you to keep cautious while you are in this facility. While we keep all inmates in cuffs that neutralize their mutations, the technology has not been 100% perfected yet and parts of their powers may leak out. That is why we have additional precautionary measures in place for each inmate." Aizawa gives you an impartial look as you walk over. "Now. The only special precaution with Inmate 06 is the lights must stay on at all times. There are no light switches in his cell, so nothing should go wrong. But like I said, always stay cautious."

You nod your head at the doctor's words and turn to face the door. Aizawa places a hand onto the keypad next to the door, scanning his prints before buzzing and opening the door. You give the man one last nod before making your way inside the room. The room itself is bare. White floors, white walls and an equally white ceiling. Nothing was in there except a desk with a chair and a bed.

On top of that bed sat a young man with the body of a human and the head of a crow. Your eyes widen in awe at the beautiful being in front of you. Tokoyami tilts his head and gives you a curious look.

"Oh. Hello, there. I've never seen you before."

The deep voice of the man shocks you. You bow your head and give the bird man a smile. "Hello, Tokoyami. My name is Y/N. I'm the new scientist at this facility. I'm here to get to know and observe you all to help further our findings for a cure. I hope we can be friends."

Tokoyami blinks. "You want to be… friends? With us?"

"Yeah, of course. Why not?" Your smile never leaves your face.

"Well, maybe because we're all… felons? The greater majority of us being murderers?"

"I truly believe everyone deserves a second chance." You gesture to the desk chair, silently asking if you could sit. The man nods and you greatly take your seat. "Now, would you ever be so kind as to answer a few questions for me, Tokoyami? I would like to get to know you a little better." You take out your pen and notebook, opening to a fresh page.

Tokoyami nods again and you give him a smile. "Just a few standard questions first. Can you please state your full name, age and date of birth?"

"Fumikage Tokoyami, age 22, October 30th."

"What is the name of your quirk and how does it work?"

Tokoyami fiddles with the quirk-cancelling cuffs around his wrists at the mention of his quirk but answers anyway. "It's called Dark Shadow. It's a fully sentient shadow that resides inside my body. It can come out when I call call it or it can show itself on it's own. But it's always connected to me and cannot be separated. It…" Tokoyami takes a breath. "It gets stronger the darker my surroundings are. So the less light, the less control I have over it. If it gets too dark, it completely takes over me, no longer under my control."

The longer you listen to him, the wider your eyes get and the more they shine in wonder. "That is incredible! To have that kind of quirk is truly fascinating!"

Hearing your words of praise would have made Tokoyami blush, if he could. He clears his throat in embarrassment. "Why, thank you for those kind words. Though, I doubt having this...quirk, as you say, is all to be impressed about."

You shake your head. "You may not think so, but really, I've never seen anything like it." You excitedly write a few things down before making eye contact with him again. "Now onto my final question of the day. Can you please tell me the reason why you are here?"

Tokoyami stays silent for a moment, staring at nothing in particular, residing in his thoughts. You clear your throat and he looks up to you. You give him a small, comforting smile and it causes Tokoyami's heart to beat harder. For some unknown reason, he suddenly feels like he can trust you with anything.

"I've been charged with multiple counts of 3rd degree murder." He sighs, recalling that day. "I was invited to a college party on a date, by someone whom I had grown quite infatuated with. I never really was one to socialize and never really had any friends. But I really liked this person, so I went. At first it was going okay, nothing too out of the ordinary. Then, the host decided that playing truth or dare was the way to go.

 So my date dragged me to sit down and join them. Every time I was asked, I always chose truth. And everytime, their questions were about my appearance, my mutation. Laughing at all my answers, mocking my looks, talking about how unnatural I was. The more they asked, the more my anxiety and anger built up. But my stubbornness didn't want to show any weakness, so I stayed. 

Finally, I decided to just choose dare instead. At that point, I decided that nothing could be more humiliating than what they've already done." His sharp, red eyes flickered to yours. "Oh, how wrong I was. They dared me to go into the closet with my so-called 'date'. We were shut in and from then, they decided to tell me how this whole thing was a set up, just to humiliate me. That anyone with mutations like myself should just disappear because of how disgusting we are." He spits out that word like it was rotten food. "Remember how I said Dark Shadow gains control in the dark? Well, with my anger rising and the fact that it was almost pitch black in that closet, I lost control of myself and Dark Shadow took control of me. Next thing I remember, I was standing in the middle of the college dorm party, blood painting the floors, the walls, and the entirety of my class slaughtered."

You almost dropped your pen in shock but regained your composure. You give the poor young man a sad smile. He sighs and finishes off his explanation. "I was arrested and charged with multiple counts of 3rd degree murder by reason of insanity, considering I was technically not in my right state of mind at the time."

The two of you sit there in silence, basking in all this new-found information. You close your notebook and set your pen down, facing Tokoyami directly. "Listen to me. There is nothing wrong with the way you look or your quirk. Just because it isn't the societal norm, doesn't mean it's disgusting or wrong. Remember that."

Tokoyami blinks in surprise."Um, thank you." Those were the only words he could say, as how shocked he was at what you said.

You tilt your head and stare at him. "If I may ask, would I be able to feel your head? I'm very curious as to what your feathers feel like. It would greatly help my research as well."

"Oh. U-um, yeah. Sure."

You move to gently sit next to Tokoyami, so as to not startle him too much. You slowly lift your hand and place it on his head, eyes lighting up as you card your fingers through his feathers. "Oh wow, they're so soft!"

Tokoyami's heart speeds up, his feathers ruffling at your touch. He gazes at you with something akin to admiration. No one was ever gentle with him like this before. After another few seconds, you retreat your hand, Tokoyami almost whimpering at the absence.

"Well, I better get going. I have quite a few more things to do today before my shift is over." You gather up your things and bow your head at the half bird boy. "I greatly appreciate your time and look forward to our future sessions. Have a good rest of your day!" You smile at Tokoyami before heading back to the door and signaling Aizawa to open it.

"Goodbye, Ms. Y/N. I look forward to meeting with you again." Tokoyami watches you leave his room. Once you're gone, he runs his hand through his feathers, imagining they were your fingers.

As the door closes, you turn to Aizawa who gives you a disappointed look.

"What?"

"You touched the inmate. Why in the hell would you do that?"

You place your hand on your hip and give the doctor a stern look. "I was curious about his mutation and wanted to see how it felt."

He sighs and runs a hand down his face. "We try to avoid any physical contact with any of the inmates, as it may trigger something deep within them. Remember, Y/N. Every single one of these individuals are dangerous and unstable. Any abnormal behavior could result in catastrophic consequences."

You sigh and shake your head, giving him a chaste nod. "Yes, Sir. You're right. I promise to heed your warning and modify how I work."

The doctor looks satisfied as he turns on his heel and walks further down the long hallway. You quickly follow to keep up. "Now, on to your next subject. Inmate 04, Eijiro Kirishima." You flip the page of your inmate profiles to see a picture of a red-haired man. "He is of a higher danger level, so make sure to keep your guard up. And for the love of God, under any circumstances…

Do not touch him."

~~~

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