#DAY 2 OF BEING SICK AND MISERABLE BABY

[c3berus]

𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐑 𝐁𝐑𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 — price, gaz & simon SHORT angst.

𝘴𝘺𝘯𝘰𝘱𝘴𝘪𝘴: you’re soap’s identical and grieving twin brother and you’d do anything to get your boys happy again, even if it meant that you disappeared.

2 months.. that’s how long it’s been since you two have got into one of your brotherly scuffles.

60 days..that’s how long it’s been since you’ve heard johnny’s obnoxious laughing .

1,440 hours..that’s how long it’s been since simon looked at you.

86,400 minutes..fucking hell that’s how long it’s been since you’ve shared a bed with your husband.

and 5,184,000 seconds..that’s how long it’s been since you became a stranger to your own boys.

you knew why they didn’t want to associate with you— you looked exactly like Johnny. you knew when they saw you, they saw your brother— cold, dead, soaking in his blood, reliving his life in seven long and emotion filled minutes. you knew they couldn’t help but grieve but god did it hurt any less. you knew that you were a key reminder of exactly what they lost.

but did that give them the right to treat you like this? like a stranger? you didn’t want that. you wanted a sense of familiarity. you wanted to grieve with them— to cry and remember with them. which is what lead you here— holding a pair of clippers with the initials ‘J.M’ carved into the side in the sloppy handwriting you knew too well. you gripped the clippers tighter knuckles turning white and you took a deep breath and removed the towel from the mirror.

you physically shuddered at the sight that greeted you. you looked miserable, hell you were miserable, you were on the brink of a breakdown and you had to do something about it. your eyes had horrible bags, themselves being bloodshot. your hair untamed and unkept, you tore your eyes away from the mirror, eyes blurred over with unshed tears. his blue eyes was what disturbed you, except they were yours. but yours were a pathetic replica that would never match the weight of his, they would never come close.

you turned the clippers on giving yourself one last pathetic once over before lifting the clippers to your hair. clump by clump and sob by sob johnny was back. johnny was home. your boys would be happy and everything would be normal. you’d make sure of it.

even if it meant you disappeared with his return..

even if you wouldn’t be able to welcome him back yourself..

even if you had to wipe every trace of your being or break and bend every piece of flesh and bone to bring your baby brother home.

you’d do it one thousand times over. you’d consume his very being from his mannerisms to his golden retriever like nature, you’d do it. you did it. you rid all of your clothes and instead took on his, a little tight fitting but who cares? you cut your hair to be just as it was two months ago. you took back up on some hobbies, the ones you had two months ago.

simon immediately greeted you with a hug, it almost made you nauseous, you almost wanted to claw his hands off of you with how much his touch was foreign. instead, you embraced him with just as much passion.

kyle broke down before punching your shoulder and cracking jokes.

and your husba-‘good to have you back soap’ oh..

that sent a slimmer of pain through your body. when your husband looked at you he didn’t see you. he saw johnny. you know he did, those eyes? he didn’t see his husband. you looked exactly like him, you acted like him, got his exact tattoos. you hated how sick and twisted you were to do this but as they say..grieving actions are the worst— best remedy. as time went on, it hurt less, yo-no johnny felt welcomed.

johnny was welcome.

johnny was happy.

johnny was home.

[lunajay33]

New Addition🤎

Summary: Being Sam Winchesters long time girlfriend was wonderful until he had family business and was on the road all the time, but what happens when you find out you’re pregnant?

Pairing: Early Seasons Sam Winchester x f!reader

•Masterlist•

Sitting in my apartment missing waking up to sharing the bed with Sam, cuddling against his warm body, sitting on the counter as he makes us pancakes, getting ready for college parties together, everything we use to do now just memories

“Come on Sam I miss you, when are you gonna be home?” I sighed into the phone

“I’m sorry baby I miss you too but Dean and I are working some jobs and….”

“Jobs? I thought you were just looking for your dad? Sam are you okay I’m worried” he’s been gone for a month now and it was miserable he helped pay half the rent and it was a struggle by myself now and he’s my soulmate and being apart really wanes on the heart

“Well we’re still looking just making some stops along the way” I could hear Dean in the back making fun of him calling me baby

“You know I can’t be mad at you I’m just……I just miss you but I hope everything is going good with Dean and you find your dad” he told me all about his problems in the past with his family but all I wanted was for him to be happy

“You know I miss you too baby, wish I could see you, sleeping in these shitty motel rooms doesn’t compare to WOAH Dean stop hitting me!” Dean obviously didn’t want to hear the end of that making me cheer up a bit

“Well just call me more when you get the time but I have class, I love you Sam”

“Love you too Angel” the call ended and I was forced to go along with my daily routine, get ready, go to class and come back to an empty apartment

It went on like this for 2 more months and it just got worse, his calls became less frequent maybe once a week, I fell into a deep sadness that only Sam Winchester could brighten, and I became sick at first I thought it was a flu maybe a stomach bug but after talking to some friends and one test later and I find out I’m pregnant, I have to be atleast 3 months along since that’s the time he’s been gone

After having an hour long breakdown I dialed Sam hoping he had some time to talk and not on another job

“Angel why are you calling so late?” His voice groggy

“Sammy……we need to talk” I stutter out still emotional

“What’s wrong are you okay?”

“I’m pre……I can’t tell you over the phone I need to see you…..please” I beg praying he’ll just come home

“I don’t know Dean and I are…”

“Sam this is really important what ever you’re doing can wait, I need you”

“Okay we’ll be there by the time you wake up”

I woke up exhausted from the stress of the day before, I’m pregnant actually pregnant under normal circumstances I’d be happy starting a family with Sam but with how absent he’s been I feel him drifting away

I willed myself out of bed and pulled on one of Sam’s hoodies that hung down to my knees and wore a pair of pair of black legging, running a warm cloth over my face to freshen up when I heard a rapid knocking at the front door

My heart filled with panic and I was becoming hesitant about coming clean, I opened the door and there he stood, towering over me like a god yet still so soft on me

He swooped down and lifted me easily into his arms and held me close, being back in his arms just felt right it felt like home and so I broke down again as I clung to him

“Sammy” I whined as I hide my tear streaked face in his shoulder smelling his oh so wonderful cologne

He brought me inside and sat me down on the couch, Dean looming in the room after he rummaged for food in our kitchen

“Angel what’s wrong? You don’t look so good” he asked as he stroked my hair helping calm me

“You’ve been gone so long and I understand but it’s been a hard 3 months alone, I can’t sleep, I can’t think straight, I’m broke and……..”

“And what?” Dean intervened making my heart jump, Sam sending him a glare

“I thought I was just sick but…….im pregnant” I felt so vulnerable as he just looked at me seeming to be in shock

“You’re joking” Dean groaned

“I didn’t mean too…..im sorry” I say as my lip trembled

“Oh Angel this isn’t your fault it’s mine and I shouldn’t have left you alone so long like that I don’t know what I was thinking” he sighs as he holds me to his chest

“Family business Sammy” Dean stated

“Dean stop”

“Sam if being with your family is so important and doing all these jobs I understand but if that’s what you want then I don’t want to hold you back if this isn’t what you want anymore”

“What? No of course I want you I want this, you’re my soulmate and I’m never letting you go again, you deserve to know the truth”

“Sam don’t” deans assertive tone booming in the room

After Sam told me everything about this new supernatural world I was sceptic at first but honestly it connected a lot of dots

“So these jobs you work are important but I can’t go months being apart again”

“You can come with us, just for while you’re pregnant and then when you give birth we can go home and settle” he said with a bright smile, that smile I fell in love with

“Are you sure Dean won’t hate me” I whisper to him

“He’ll lighten up trust me Angel”

Sam helped me pack all the my clothes and personal items I needed and we were off on the road, it was a nice car with lots of room for me to stretch out in the back

“So where are we going?”

“There’s signs of a vampires nest in a small town, going to check it out see what’s going on” Dean says his eyes still on the road, he still made me a bit nervous though

“Umm are vampires one of the easier monsters you deal with?” I ask trying to make conversation

“They can be, but a nest of them can be a bitch”

They go on to tell me all the cases they’ve worked since they’ve been gone and it’s crazy to wrap my head around, after driving all day we finally got to the town settling into a little motel room

“I’m gonna go pick us up some dinner” Dean said as he threw his bag on his bed and left

I sat on the bed me and Sam are sharing sighing once the door closed

“What’s wrong Angel?”

“I just hate being a burden to you guys I know how stressful this is for you plus having this baby….”

“Hey you’re not a burden I’m just glad you’re with me now, being cooped up with Dean 24/7 can become a bit macho” he says making me laugh

“Do you think it’ll be a boy or a girl?” I ask as he places his hand on my tiny bump

“I’m happy with either, you know my mother would have loved you you’re as kind as she was, well atleast that’s what Dean says about her”

“You know this baby is the luckiest in the world to have you as their father, and such a handsome one at that” he smiled as he pulled me into his lap pulling me close

“I’ve missed this, holding you” his hand runs down my back sending shivers

“Kissing you” his lips gently press to my collar bone making me gasp

“Being with you at night” the door bursts open interrupting our moment, I jump out of his lap and their stands Dean and what I believe to be their father from old pictures Sam has showed me

“Sammy trying to get some” Dean laughed making my body heat in embarrassment

“Who’s this?” John asked his voice full of disapproval

“Dad where have you been? Never mind that right now, this is y/n my girlfriend”

“And what the hell is she doing here son?” I felt little under his gaze

“She can’t be alone she’s pregnant” Sam said confidently as he held my hand

“Sam what the hell were you thinking, you can’t have a pregnant girl doing this job, you need to be focused”

“Maybe I should just go home” I say as I go to pick up my bag

“No! You’re staying Angel I’m not letting you go again” he said as he wiped a stray tear I didn’t know had escaped my waterline

“She’s family now dad, you can’t push her away cause if you do then you’re just gonna push me away too, for good this time” John sighed and gave a look to Dean

“Tomorrow we’re going to stake out the vampires nest, be ready” he said sternly before stomping out of the room leaving an awkward cloud looming over the three of us

“Come on you two let’s eat” Dean said in a lighter tone obviously trying to pick up what his father ruined

We ate at the little table chatting about random things, how Sam and I met, our first date and how nervous Sam was, almost everything we had together up until this point

“Have you told your family about the baby?” Dean asked after he took a swig of beer

“I don’t really have family, I was raised in an orphanage and when I turned 18 I was pretty much on my own, I stayed in the schools dorms until Sam and I moved in together, plus our friends kind of changed after first year so it’s mostly just been Sammy and I”

“I’m sorry”

“Oh no it’s fine I’m happy with the way my life turned out it lead me to Sam after all” I smile looking at Sam who had that loving look, he was so gentle compared to his brother

“You guys are going to make me hurl”

It’s been a crazy and stressful 6 months but I’m now in the last week of pregnancy and to say I’m scared is an understatement, I’m terrified but I feel like I can’t tell Dean and Sam with what they face everyday, this is probably a walk in the park to them

They were out right now hunting a werewolf as I paced back and forth in yet another motel room, I’ve been having cramps in my stomach since I woke up but I just thought it could be indigestion from the food we ate last night but they’ve only gotten stronger, walking helps but this could just be Braxton’s hocks I try to tell my self that is u til my water breaks, I’m hesitant to call Sam because of the case but like he said this is more important, I dialed hoping he’d answer

“Hey we’re on our way back now did you need us to pick you up anything?”

“Sam my water broke” I could hear him tell Dean to drive faster

“Okay just hold on we’ll be there soon, just do the breathing exercises like we practiced”

“Okay I’ll try” I breath deeply as another contraction hit a whimper left me but I know it’s going to get much worse

Minutes later Sam and Dean busy through the hotel room, Dean get my to go bag and Sam gently picks me up and brings me to the car sitting with me in the back

“Sammy I’m scared”

“We’re almost to the hospital hold on kiddo” Dean said trying to reassure me, he’d warmed up to me over the months like Sam said

“You can do this, think of our little girl or boy we’re about to meet” I nodded gripping his hand, we got to the hospital and were settled in a private room, Sam at my side and Dean on the couch used for husband or partners

“What if something happens?” I ask as he brushes my hair back

“Everything will be okay, you’re the strongest woman I know”

“It’s time Mrs Winchester” the doctor said making my heart swell at the name, he was wrong but I didn’t care

After some agonizing pushes that pressure was gone replaced by a little babies cries, the nurse laid the baby on my chest and she was beautiful, she had Sam big green hazel eyes and had light brown hair

“Congrats on a baby girl” the nurse said, they cleaned me up and left the room letting the four of us settle

“What are you going to name my little niece?” Dean asked now standing on the other side of the bed mesmerized by her

“How about Luna Mary Winchester” I say looking up to Sam for his opinion

“I love it, I love you, both of you” he smiled as he played with Lunas little fingers

“The three of us just became four”

[reneesghostinthelivingroom]

would you consider writing a part 2 to ‘Lost’ where Reader goes to the high end stores with their gf’s and they tries to hide that they can’t afford it. They just compliment their girlfriends when they try something on and doesn’t try anything on themselves. She just says she doesn’t want anything.

Lost part 2

read part 1 here

|| poly!plastics x fem!reader

(i myself am poly)

|| Warnings; swearing, Regina being Regina, reader feeling left out, brief hookup mentions but nothing actually happens

|| Summary; the plastics take reader to a fancy store in the mall, but reader can't afford it so she spends her time complimenting them. Regina takes notice and takes matters into her own hands.

Requests open!

Started; october 12th

Finished; october 12th

~~~

Once they were sure you were okay, they took you to all their favourite spots in the mall. Gretchen kept an arm linked around both you and Karen, knowing that Karen also has a tendency to wander off but now she had to worry about losing you too. Regina lead the way, going to the most expensive looking store first with a massive smirk on her face that screamed 'I'm rich, you're not'.

You followed them in, looking at all the clothes with a sense of longing. The most your parents had given you for this trip was $20. Which looked completely stupid compared to whatever Regina clearly had, probably $1,000 at least.

Regina, Gretchen and Karen spent at least an hour in the store trying on various things with you as their personal cheerleader. Constantly assuring them things like "you look hot" "absolutely beautiful" "gorgeous as always". After the hour mark, Karen realized you haven't put on anything yet.

"Y/N, we should find you something!" There was an excited grin on her face and Gretchen turned her attention to you.

"Oh my God, yeah! We haven't seen you in like anything yet." Gretchen agreed, trying to drag you over to the clothes to help you pick one.

You dug your heels so she couldn't, making her pause and look at you in confusion. "Baby?"

"I..." You try to come up with an excuse for the fact that you couldn't afford it. And if the slightest thing happened to whatever you put on, you knew you wouldn't have the money to fix it. And you definitely didn't want to rely on Regina," I just don't feel like trying anything on."

Regina looked over from the rack she had been at and eyed you suspiciously, looking you up and down. She knew it was a lie, she could just tell but decided to be quiet on it. It was your choice.

"Aw, really?" Gretchen almost pouted, giving you a small tug to see if you would try. When you didn't budge, she huffed and let go.

Karen frowned and walked over," don't you want to play dress up with us?"

"Maybe another day." You shuffle you feet awkwardly, moving to go sit back down on the bench where you'd been before. Your mood having dropped completely. You had originally been excited for today and now you're starting to think you should have played sick and stayed home.

Gretchen and Karen shared a look, while Regina contemplated something in her head before sighing. She walked over to you then grabbed you by the wrist and dragged you into the closest change room; confusing Gretchen for a moment, though she then realized that Regina was probably just trying to hook up.

She wasn't, though. Much to your disappointment. Regina folded her arms across her chest and raised an eyebrow at you," stop acting so miserable just cause you're broke. I'll give you some spending cash." She offered, which made you tense up a little. Had it been that obvious? You were grateful she at least thought to take you somewhere more private before calling you out.

"Regina, it's fine.." You couldn't help feeling guilty if you took her money.

Regina rolled her eyes," shut up, I'm trying to be nice and your guilt is ruining it. How much money did your parents give you for this?" She was forward, more forward than you were ready for but you honestly should have expected it.

"$20." You muttered, cheeks flushed in embarrassment.

"Yeah, no. Take it." She handed you $300, which made your eyes widen and she rolled her eyes again," you're my girlfriend which means your reputation is my reputation. I'm not having a broke girlfriend." Her words were harsh, maybe. But she was just trying to hide that she actually did have a soft spot for you and she felt bad you didn't have anything. What the hell were your parents thinking? $20s wouldn't give you shit in this mall.

"I- thank-" She cut you off, pulling you in for a kiss as she pushed you against the wall. Completely catching you off guard but you kissed back with ease.

When she breaks the kiss, she looks into your eyes and smirks," don't be lame. Losers say thank you."

You just nodded and she walked out of the change room, you following behind with $300 in your pocket.

"Change of plans, girls! Y/N will be getting stuff here." Regina looked back at you with a knowing smirk, Gretchen and Karen immediately looked excited again and dragged you along to the clothes.

You ended up getting a couple of really nice outfits, all secretly paid for by Regina. Though Gretchen had her suspicions about it.

The rest of the field trip went well, despite the rocky start and middle; but you couldn't wait to be home. You made a mental note to thank Regina later, ignoring what she had said about that.

[vlrghoes]

What Once Was | Chapter One

author’s note: I edited and proof read this after coming back from the club so if you see something wrong don’t be afraid to point it out as I’m quite friendly anyway!

I still don’t know if I like this chapter but overall I’m just shy about sharing my work because I’m hyper judgmental of my own work but I still wanted to share this with you guys anyway.

The chapters after this will be set a few years after this (which will be clarified in the chapters)

I’m English so if anything is wrong in terms of America and the health practices please forgive me!

I’m literally yapping now but I do want to say that I can’t promise chapter two will come in under 2 weeks as I’ve just finished my law degree and landed my dream job (not related to my degree) and I start training next Sunday and it’s for 5 weeks, really intense and with exams almost every day and if I mess up I lose my job. (Not sure if it’s obvious what my job is but anyways.) Also it’s my birthday on Wednesday and I’m celebrating Thursday so less time to write!

cw/tw: death, pregnancy complications, heavy angst, references to mental health and body dysmorphia/body image issues

word count: 4370 (I never usually write more than 2k so this is weird for me)

tag list (ask to be added): @trippinsorrows @cyberdejos2 @maeb99 @southerngirl41 @callmekayd @trentybenty @tian-monique @rose-bliss (if your name isn’t in grey, it’s not letting me tag you but I’ll try in the comment section)

masterlist

“You’re choosing that stupid title over your family again.” Ayanna’s voice cracked, the finality of her words hanging in the air as Joe stood frozen, his guilt palpable and his resolve wavering. She had spent all day running around the house and decorating for their special day. She spent hours preparing a nice steak dinner for the two of them, however it had been left untouched, the wait quelling her appetite as she now only felt sick. The dress she picked out now felt too revealing, no longer complimenting her body. Suddenly it clung to all the wrong parts and accentuated her weight gain, making her feel like a whale instead. The candles in the house had melted to the point where the fire had flickered out and the playlist she had queued just sounded like white noise at this point. Nothing matters anymore because Joe is late, late home once again and Ayanna is reaching breaking point. She spent hours waiting for him after she prepared their dinner, but all the effort didn’t matter anymore because instead of romance, the air was filled with tension and dread. “You know they’re due any day now, Joe how could you do this to me, to us. How can you still be wrestling so soon to my due date?” She said, her voice filled with emotion as she tried to steady herself. She didn’t want to cry, she had cried so much this entire pregnancy and she felt miserable. Instead of having that pregnancy glow like Rihanna, she had the life sucked out of her and she just felt lifeless.

“Look baby, I'm sorry.” Joe began, trying to figure out mentally how to get himself out of the trouble he was in. It wasn’t his fault, the media day for Wrestlemania was meant to finish much earlier but they took longer to set up, in turn making Joe’s interview (which was last) late. He had intended to be home earlier but it just seemed like the universe had other plans.

“Don’t even bother” Ayanna sighed, playing with the ring on her finger which now felt like it weighed a tonne. When they first got together, he gave it to her as a promise he’d marry her and whilst he did deliver on that promise, since getting pregnant and no longer being able to join him on the road she wondered if it was worth it sometimes. It’s not that she didn’t love Joe, hell sometimes she thinks she loves him too much. However she now isn’t sure if he loved her more than that title. He used to be so romantic; he’d bring her flowers every single day no matter what, he’d take her on dates, even small ones that weren't as lavish and she loved it. But the more he climbed up the ranks of WWE, the less the romance was there. Then shortly after he became champion everything stopped. Their marriage hit the rocks as he was never home and he started to miss things such as birthdays and christmases, so to save their marriage Ayanna gave up everything and joined him on the road. It was all going great until her later stages of pregnancy which stopped her from travelling with him but the most important thing for Ayanna was that he never missed an anniversary.

Well that was until now.

“Do you even know what day it is?” Ayanna asked, her voice quiet as she watched his mind tick, the cogwheels visabilly spinning with his face scrunched up in confusion, dull eyes squinting until it all finally clicks and he looks at her horrified. “You know, as bad as you’ve been lately, I always used to say ‘at least he’d always remembered our anniversary’ but it seems I can’t even say that anymore.” She spits, her heart breaking as the words leave her mouth.

“Yana” he started, feeling dizzy as he watched her flinch, a look almost of disgust flashing within her eyes. The nickname didn’t bring the butterflies it used to bring anymore, instead it forced a swell of emotion that made her feel like she could spew her guts any second. She used to look at him in adoration, but as the years passed the glimmer in her eyes decreased daily until they were fully extinguished. “Baby things are going to change after wrestlemania, I promise. Just one more match, after this I promise I’ll ask Vince again for some time off, I’m sure he’ll give it to me this time.”

The both of them knew that he was telling her what he wanted her to hear, the same conversation being repeated so many times to the point where they felt like they were in limbo. The last time Joe had asked, Vince told him he couldn’t have time off as he was their top star and Joe simply didn’t ask again. He always seemed to lack a backbone in situations that require him having one, but is happy to have a backbone and be stubborn when he doesn't need to be. Ayanna was exhausted, carrying one baby is hard enough but of course Joe carried the twin gene so she was carrying two instead and it felt like they were draining the life from her body. “I just want you to be present Joe, I feel like a single mother despite being married.” She pleaded, her voice filled with desperation. No one ever mentioned how lonely pregnancy is. She had lost many friends as she couldn’t go out to the club or drink anymore which meant that she spent days on end staring at the four walls of her bedroom watching the time pass as she waited up for Joe to come home. She sighed, tears threatening to well in her eyes which made her mentally curse. Stupid baby hormones. “You made the same promise last time, I don’t think you understand that one day I may not be here. You’ve missed so much already and you will never get this time back.”

She waited for Joe to say something, anything that could save the situation and at some points she felt like he was. But he’d then swallow the words back with a bitter taste and instead just looked at her in defeat. Nothing could save Ayanna for the despair she felt and she felt stupid even having this conversation with him. Instead, she gives him one more look over, a silent plea to say something or do something but the window of time closes as soon as she opens and she ends up turning on her feet and going to bed. She kept her room door ajar, hoping he’d come and knock, give her the tight hugs he used to give her and shower her in kisses and apologies but it never happens.

Joseph himself didn’t know what to do. They had the fairytale romance all their friends envied when they were younger, he was the promising D1 football player and she was a shoe-in to be a future Dallas Cowboys cheerleader. They looked good together and spent years in their honeymoon phase, yet somehow as they grew older the fairytale had started to wear off. He looked around the room with a frown, his stomach twisting and his heart aching as he realised exactly how much effort she had put in for their anniversary dinner and in that moment he felt like a horrible person. He knew he needed to pack as he was leaving at 5AM to get a jet for Wrestlemania but a large part of him wanted to go and fix the situation. But he knew nothing could ever fix it. They promised each other that they’d never go to bed without resolving an argument but that promise got broken several times to the point of which it no longer had any weight. So instead, Joe went into the walk-in closet and packed his things, believing that there’s nothing he could do to fix the situation.

That night, for the first time in their marriage the couple slept in separate rooms. Joe in the guest room tossing and turning in his own guilt, whilst Ayanna tried her hardest to muffle her sobs in the pillow. Her tears soaked the case through and her heart shattered in the pieces.

The next morning, Ayanna woke with the worst headache. Her head was pounding so intensely it hurt to open her eyes, however she put it down to the fact she spent all night crying and didn’t sleep. She called out for Joe, hoping he’d be home still so they could make up after their argument and wish him luck tonight as no matter what she loved him and didn’t want to continue on with another argument. But as she made it to the guest room, she realised it was too late and he was already gone. Her heart splintered like fragile glass, and she wept until the well of her tears ran dry, leaving her hollow and desolate.

“Fix your face uce.” His cousin Joshua says with a nudge. Joe having a face like a slapped ass and a snappy attitude had become too common these days and the twins, Joe’s only confidants, knew exactly what was going on. They’d grown up with Joe and practically spent their whole lives with Ayanna through her association with Joe, meaning they had been privy to almost all of the couple’s relationship issues.

“He’s right, every day you walk around here with the face you used to have when my dad used to whoop us all for breaking the window with the football.” Jonathon adds on, a small chuckle escaping from his twin brother as the memory of that day flashes through him. The twins and Joseph had grown up together due to their parents living next door to one another. Rikishi, the twin’s father and Joe’s uncle would say the twins were a bad influence. However everyone who knew them knew that it was actually Joe, he always managed to get away from it all by snitching on the boys before they could save themselves. Which is what led to all of them getting chased with a broom stick as children after Joseph broke the window as they were all playing football, but instead of admitting it he blamed the twins whilst the twins blamed him so the punishment was collective.

“Are you fighting with Yana again?” Joshua asks, earning him a dirty look from both his twin brother and Joseph as the answer was the most obvious thing in the world. The two of them somehow manage to fight more than Joshua and his baby mother, and the pair of them were never even together, just a stupid one night stand.

The pair wait for Joseph to say something but it becomes more and more obvious that he has nothing to say, but the situation is clearly bothering him. Jonathan, the self-labelled “mature” one out of the twins, felt it was best to offer some advice, even if Joe didn’t ask. “Man, I don’t know what’s going on but I know you two have been together since you were both thirteen, whatever it is you’ll make it through it. You guys have always found a way.” The advice, albeit sweet, doesn't really make a difference for Joe. But thankfully he gets called for his press conference anyway so he doesn’t have to engage in the conversation further and he shifts from vulnerable ‘Joe’ to the formidable ‘Roman,’ like a Jekyll turning into Hyde, shedding his worries and fears to become the stoic, unyielding figure everyone dreads.

Joe never really cared for press conferences, however since he was the face of the company he was obligated to fulfil every duty in his contract. He was always used to giving the cookie cutter answers to the usual questions like “what are your expectations tonight?” and “how do you feel about your opponent?” However, he gets caught off guard when someone in the crowd asks "with the demands of your career, how do you balance your professional and personal life, especially with your wife expecting?" The question then places a pang of guilt in his stomach once more as he’s forced to remember their argument from last night. He really wanted to speak to her before he left but he didn’t want to wake her up and his flight was too early for him to stay. He took a thought and tried to compose an appropriate answer before taking a small breath.

“It’s a challenge, no doubt.” He began, slightly sounding defensive whilst making sure to try and make eye contact with the journalist in the crowd to make sure he appeared engaged in the topic. “But I’ve always believed that if you’re committed to something, you find a way to make it work. My family understands what this career means to me, and I make sure to be there for them as much as I can. After tonight, I’m looking forward to some quality time with them.” The words feeling hollow knowing his home life isn’t in a good place.

At home, Ayanna rubs her temples trying to quell the headache that has seemed to intensify from earlier on. She sits on the sofa, her head spinning from the pain when a sharp, twisting pain in her abdomen causes her to shift positions. “It can't be.” she mumbles, it was too early. The twins were not meant to be due yet, she had an entire plan for Joe’s mother to come down and stay in the guest room and help her for the last week of her pregnancy up until the babies hit six months, this can’t be happening. Her phone lay on the coffee table, just out of reach. She stared at it, debating whether to call Joseph or not. But he was probably in the middle of his press conference. She didn’t want to worry him—she could handle this.

She bided her time, until the pain suddenly intensified, radiating from her abdomen up to her chest. Ayanna’s breath hitched, panic creeping in as she realised something was seriously wrong. She forced herself to stand, but her legs buckled beneath her. The room spun, and she fell back onto the couch, gasping for air. She gave in and phoned Joe first, his phone going straight to voicemail as she thought before hanging up, her hands trembling as she dialled 911.“Please” she began with a gasp, struggling to even breathe, “I think something’s wrong I'm pregnant, and I—” Her voice broke off as another wave of pain hit her, harder this time as she screamed, the sound of her pained yells bouncing off the walls.

Joe, pleased with his answer to the first question, felt like he was in the clear and that would be it for the interview but then another question hit him. "There have been rumours that you were considering taking some time off after this match. Can you confirm or deny that?" The question made him feel hot under the collar, he didn’t want to give a definitive answer as Vince had already turned down his request and he didn’t want to put himself in a position that gets him in trouble. He hated it about himself and in a way he also hated Vince for putting him in this situation, however deep down he knew that he was at fault. No matter what, he was a coward and tried to avoid rocking the boat at work but all that has done is cause problems in his marriage.

He once again flashes that million dollar smile that he knew the ladies loved the most before positioning his answer. “Right now, I’m focused on tonight. Whatever comes after, we’ll cross that bridge when we get there. I’ve heard the rumours, but my priority is to go out there, put on a hell of a show, and take care of business. The rest will fall into place." He was cool and composed, everything a champion should be, however, the answer in itself was very evasive. It was as though he had mastered the art of saying much while revealing nothing, leaving everyone guessing what truly lay beneath.

Ayanna’s vision blurred as she tried to focus on the operator’s voice. “Stay with me, ma’am, help is on the way,” the voice said, but Ayanna could barely hear it over the pounding in her head. She doubled over in pain, clutching her stomach as the baby kicked wildly inside her. Her thoughts were a jumble of fear and regret. She should have told Joseph—should have insisted he stay home. But it was too late now. The darkness at the edges of her vision crept closer, and she knew she was running out of time

Joe looked at the crowd, wanting to go backstage and get ready for his match, a sigh of relief leaving his body as he’s told this is the last question of the conference. "Any plans to celebrate after the match, or will you be rushing home to be with your family?”

Joe smiled, the question feeling so bittersweet as he’d love to have Ayanna in the crowd like she usually is tonight, but that isn’t the case. "We’ll see how the night goes. My family’s always been my anchor, so I’ll be getting back to them as soon as I can. But first, I’ve got to take care of business in that ring."The reporters nodded, satisfied with his answer. Joseph glanced at the time—just a few more minutes, and he could get back to his routine. But he had no idea that his world was about to shatter.

Ayanna’s strength was fading fast. She clutched her phone, the operator’s voice a distant echo in her ears. “Hold on, ma’am, the paramedics are almost there,” but Ayanna’s world was already slipping away.

The last thing she felt was the sharp pain in her head, then—darkness.

The crowd was electric as Joe stepped into the ring, his face stoic as he played with his wrists to loosen them up. The glamour and feel of Wrestlemania never gets old, but he stayed focused, his mind locked in on the match and his eyes focused on his opponent. He couldn’t afford any distractions - not tonight.

The bell rang, and he moved with precision, every punch, every kick calculated. He could feel the weight of the championship on his shoulders, the expectations of the fans, the promise he had made to himself to be the best. Minutes felt like seconds as the match intensified, the crowd on their feet, chanting his name. With a final, devastating move, Joseph pinned his opponent to the mat. The referee’s hand slapped the canvas—one, two, three.

The crowd booed as Joseph was declared the winner, his arm raised in victory, gutted that their golden boy Cody Rhodes had lost the title. The championship belt was handed to him, and he held it high, basking in the glory of the moment. For a few seconds, everything was perfect. But beneath the cheers and jeers, he felt an uneasy feeling run through him, it was almost as if his body was trying to warn him that this victory came at a price—one that would haunt him long after the spotlight dimmed.

After the match he walked backstage, sweat dripping down his face but a victorious smile plastered on his lips. Fellow wrestlers patted him on the back, congratulating him on another win, another title defence. He had done it again—proven why he was the best. But it didn’t feel the same without Ayanna there to give him a kiss and tell him how proud she was of him. He longed to have her sweet floral scent dancing though his nose, he simply missed her and he was going to make it his mission to call her immediately and apologise and make it up to her. In fact, he was going to ask Vince again for time off or just go to Hunter and get him to explain to Vince.

As he headed toward his locker room, he saw Vince stood them with a solemn expression. His heart dropped, usually if Vince looks at you like that you’ve done a terrible job and you’re about to be pulled off TV. “Joe, we need to talk,” he said, his voice tight with urgency.”

Joseph frowned, still riding the high of his victory. “What’s up, Vince? I’ve got some celebrating to do and I need to call my wife.”

Vince hesitated, his face pale. “Joe, it’s Ayanna… She had a stroke during labour. She had tried to call you as she was going into labour but you were in the press conference.”

The words were like a punch to the gut, knocking the wind out of him. “What?” he whispered, his heart plummeting. “No… no, that can’t be right.” His mind scrambled to reject what he’d just heard, clinging to disbelief as though it could keep the truth at bay.

Vince’s eyes were filled with sorrow as he continued, “I haven’t heard anything else, however I would suggest that you take the jet and go to the hospital now. We will cover you in the post match press conference.” The championship belt slipped from Joseph’s grasp, hitting the floor with a dull thud. The noise of the backstage area faded into nothingness as Joseph stood frozen, disbelief and horror washing over him.

Joseph’s heart pounds as he bursts through the hospital doors, the sounds of WrestleMania’s victory still ringing in his ears. But as he’s confronted by the white walls of the ICU, his triumph feels meaningless, distant. Joseph’s hands trembled as he pushed through the hospital doors, his mind a whirl of fear and denial. He moved as if in a trance, barely registering the people around him as he demanded to be taken to Ayanna.

“Where’s Ayanna? Where are my kids?” he demands, his voice edged with panic.

The receptionist’s eyes flickered with sorrow, looking around in desperation as she did not want to be the one to be here when the news was broken to him. Luckily for her, the doctor steps forward. “Mr. Anoa’i, I’m so sorry. Your wife suffered a massive stroke shortly after going into labour. By the time she got here, there was nothing we could do to reverse the damage. Her brain activity ceased before we could save her.”

Joseph’s breath catches, his world starting to crumble. “What… what do you mean? Where is she? Can I see her?” His voice wavered, a desperate plea for a reality that was slipping through his fingers.

The doctor hesitates, his tone measured but heavy. “We had to make a decision quickly, Mr. Anoa’i. We kept her on life support long enough to deliver the twins via emergency C-section. It was the only way to save their lives.”

For a moment, Joseph just stares, unable to comprehend the words. “You… you kept her alive just to deliver the babies?” His voice is raw with disbelief and rising fury. He couldn’t believe what was being said to him, Ayanna being reduced to a baby making machine made him feel beyond sick. They could’ve had another baby, but he could never have another Ayanna. “She wasn’t just some fucking incubator! She was my wife! She is my wife, why didn’t you save her?!”

The doctor’s eyes hold steady, though full of sympathy. “She made that decision herself. Your wife signed an advanced directive, instructing us to prioritise the babies if anything went wrong. She knew the risks and chose this course.”

The words hit Joseph like a sledgehammer. Ayanna had known this could happen and made a decision without him—a decision that had ripped her from his life. Anger surged and then ebbed away, leaving a hollow ache where it had been. He had spent his life with her, and now, learning to live without her seemed an insurmountable challenge, a cruel twist of fate.

“Where are they?” he finally whispers, his voice barely audible, eyes vacant.

One of the nurses gently guides him to the room where the newborns lie in their incubators. They’re tiny, fragile, and perfect. But as Joseph looks at them, he’s overwhelmed not with the joy he expected but with a deep, unsettling mix of sorrow and resentment. They’re here, alive and breathing, but Ayanna is gone. She sacrificed herself for them, and Joseph can’t help but feel a stab of resentment toward these tiny beings who cost him everything. He stands over the incubators, his hands shaking as he touches the glass. The twins stir slightly, their small cries echoing in the sterile room, but all Joseph feels is an unbearable, suffocating grief—and an anger he can’t reconcile. Whilst he was angry at the world, he was also mad at himself. What sick bastard resents an innocent child? He thought, trying to force the feeling out of his heart, but it was no use. He just couldn't stop himself being filled with disgust when he looked at them, especially as they both look exactly like her. It felt like some cruel punishment from the universe for his wrongdoing.

Finally, he forces himself to pick up one of the babies, holding the child close to his chest. The warmth of his newborn is supposed to bring him comfort, but instead, it feels like a weight pressing down on him, reminding him of what he’s lost. Tears blur his vision as he collapses into a nearby chair, the sound of the twins’ cries filling his ears. But instead of the joy and love he once imagined, all Joseph can feel is a hollow emptiness and a dark, creeping resentment that only deepens his guilt. The nurse gently touched his shoulder, but Joseph barely noticed. He sank into a chair, the twins still wailing in his arms, as tears streamed down his face. The world had stopped making sense. He had won the match, but in doing so, had lost everything that truly mattered, as if triumph had come at the cost of his very soul.

[orcasoul]

Oh Mama! A continuation of Oh Baby

Summery: As the birth draws closer you reflect on all the ways Pedro has been there for you throughout your pregnancy.

Warnings: Swearing, verbal abuse (not by our sweet man), protective Pedro, fluff, use of Y/N.

Italics indicate in ward thinking and flashbacks.

This is a continuation of Oh Baby which was meant to be a one shot but after a request for a part 2 I've decided to write this and a part 3 which will be called Oh Daddy, which will focus on Pedro being the amazing dad and partner we all know he would be :)

Word Count: 2,836

Miserable! that's how you feel. Miserable, bloated, heavy. No matter how much you shift or turn, finding a good sleeping position is next to impossible. It also doesn't help that you're in the middle of a sweltering heatwave. The aircon is on but it might as well be non existent with the hot flashes that keep plaguing your body.

You look to your left and feel a little twinge of jealousy as you watch Pedro sleep soundly in the dim lamp light. Why the fuck should he get to sleep while I can't! You know it's just the hormones making you feel irritable and bitter but right now you want nothing more than to shake him awake and tell him to stay awake with you.

But no matter how irritable your last month of pregnancy is making you there's no way you be that spiteful. As you watch Pedro sleep, his plush lips slightly parted, letting slow, rhythmic breathes escape, you begin to reminisce all the ways he's been there for you, supporting you and caring for you since you'd told him you're pregnant.

Neither one of you had planned for this baby, but life doesn't always go according to our own plans. It has it's own agenda and all you can do is follow the path it lays before you and do your very best. After your initial fear of telling Pedro about the baby- and that awful resulting anxiety induced nightmare - you both seemed to easily slip into your natural roles. You; the nurturing and tender mother and Pedro; the protective and comforting father and partner.

For someone who once said he's never gonna be a dad, he sure seemed happy and content these past 7 months and that happiness has bubbled over into excitement now that the birth will be any day. Pedro stirs in his sleep a little, causing a couple of stray curls to fall onto his forehead. You gently brush them back up off his face, taking care not to wake him.

You guess he could actually do with the rest after weeks of being at your every beck and call, sometimes even going out at stupid 'o' clock to buy whatever your insatiable cravings demanded. You shift for the thousandth time, onto your side and put a pillow between your knees to provide some - but not much - relief. You continue to watch him sleep, feeling his breath fan your face, his shoulders slowly rising and falling and you feel the baby kick you again.

The little Bun - as you both lovingly refer to it since you've both agreed to not find out the sex and be surprised - has been quite active today. Tears fill your eyes and suddenly you feel like the luckiest woman in the world, as you place your hand tenderly on your bump and stare at the face of the man you love. This is what it's all about, you perceive, growing a beautiful new life with the perfect man. And boy, has he been just that for the past several months.

Your mind starts to wander back to all the moments where Pedro has gone above and beyond for you both....

The third month of your pregnancy is when your morning sickness really ramped up. Until that point you had only felt slightly nauseous but then it hit you like a ton of bricks. The first time you threw up actually startled Pedro. The poor guy almost had a heart attack when you leapt up from bed, accidentally dragging the quilt and him across the bed. You would have felt bad about waking him if you weren't too busy spewing your guts up into the toilet.

"What the fuck?!" is what you heard from the bedroom as you heaved and retched. "Baby?... You Okay?" Pedro asked quietly from behind you in the doorway to the on suite. "Yeah I'm-" blargh!- "I'm... good," you finally reply in a shaky voice as you wipe your mouth with one hand while the other holds your hair back. And so it went on for months. Pedro was always beside you (when he wasn't away filming or doing interviews) rubbing soothing strokes along your back, whispering comforting words and waiting with a glass of water in hand.

The more frequent the episodes became, the more he started to worry about you. You hated seeing him so worried as much as he hated seeing you be sick, so one time you'd decided to make light of the situation. After chucking up for what felt like the millionth time you called Pedro to the bathroom. He came rushing to you but before he could say a word you cried "Hold my hairrrrr!!" in your best whiny Dieter voice. Pedro burst out laughing as he clearly hadn't been expecting that of all things.

"That's a good one," he chuckled as he did indeed hold your hair. "How long have you been waiting to do that?" You look up at him and giggle but it's cut short by another bought of retching, which of course Pedro helped you through with words of encouragement. "Just be glad I don't have to shit, too," you mumble into the toilet bowl causing another burst of laughter to erupt from him.

You smile quietly to yourself at the memory while smoothing over the arc of your bump. You can't believe that a woman can naturally grow so big and not burst, which takes you back to the time you'd gotten upset over your sudden weight gain....

After coming home from a much needed shopping trip for maternity clothes and larger everyday clothes you slump onto the settee to rest your aching feet while Pedro puts the kettle on. You miss coffee but it's better for the baby if you stick to tea for a while. It was just as good and definitely helped to relax you. Once the drinks were finished Pedro took the cups to the kitchen and started to prepare for dinner. "I'm gonna go put the clothes away," you called to him in the kitchen, to which he replied, "Don't be too long. Food will be ready soon."

Staring into your wardrobe, a lump forms in your throat and tears burn behind your eyes as you take in the sight of some of your favourite and much smaller clothes. The more items you remove, to be replaced with the new and larger (two sizes larger to be precise) clothes, the more you feel the dam about to burst. Fighting it is no good, what with the hormones and all, and in a matter of seconds you're a blubbering mess on the bedroom floor.

"Y/N...," Pedro calls up the stairs, "Food's ready." You quickly choke back your sobs as best you can and try not to sound like someone who's just been in the middle of a complete breakdown. "O-kay," you faltered unintentionally. Great, maybe he didn't notice. Oh, but he did notice. His hasty footsteps were a dead giveaway of that fact. Pedro appeared in the bedroom moments later, his brows pinched and deep chestnut eyes full of compassion. "Sweetheart? What's wrong?" he asked dolefully as he slowly lowered himself to the floor next to you, both of you surrounded by your old clothes.

You look up at him through red, puffy eyes. "I'm so f... fat!," you bawled while gripping one of your favourite tops. "I feel like a whale!" Pedro lets out an endearing huff. "What?... It's true!" Bwahhaha!... "Shhh..." Pedro coos into your ear as he takes you in his strong arms. "That's the most ridiculous thing you've ever said. You're not fat and you certainly don't look like a whale," he asserted as he holds your flushed and tear streaked face in his hands and looks directly into your eyes. "You're growing a brand new life in there," he says as he places a hand on your belly. "Of course your body will change and it's a good change."

"I just... can't see how you co...could be attracted to me right now," you wept while looking down. "What?!" Pedro asked incredulously. "Do you have any idea what it does to me seeing you carry and care for my baby?" Pedro wipes your tears away and you look up to meet his eyes once more. "You've never been more beautiful than you are right now, darling. Don't you forget that, okay?" Through calmer breathes you whisper "Okay."

Just as you got semi comfortable you realise you're now quite thirsty. With an annoyed eye roll and a huff, you roll onto your back and push yourself up to reach over for the glass of water on your nightstand. Maybe you moved a little too fast because as you put the glass down you suddenly feel a little light headed. It passed in literally a few seconds. This is nothing compared to the dizzy spells you had to endure a few months ago....

You woke with a start when your phone rang. It might as well have been a bloody foghorn with how it pierced the peace and quiet of the living room. It's Pedro. You haven't seen each other for a few weeks due to his filming commitments but you talk everyday. Swiping the answer button you groggily mumble, "Hello." Hey sweetheart," Pedro began cheerfully, "Thought I'd call you on your lunch break... You okay? You sound funny." "Yeah..." you answer sluggishly, "I'm fine." You know he'll never buy it. "What's wrong?" Pedro asks in an assertive but gentle tone. "Nothing...," you try to placate him.

"...They just sent me home from work because I was having dizzy spells." "Did you call the doctor?" Pedro interjects quickly, his voice laced with concern. You can almost feel his anxiety through the phone. "Not yet. I just needed to lay down for a bit. I'm actually feeling a bit better." Okay, that may have been a white lie but the last thing you want is to cause Pedro any unnecessary worry. But of course he's worried. "Why didn't you call me straight away?" Pedro pressed perturbedly. "I just didn't want to worry you," You answer with a hint of guilt.

"I'm coming home-" "Ped, you can't. You have an interview today-" "They'll understand," he insisted, firmly. "I'm on the next flight home." You know when he speaks in such a final tone that his mind is made up. "Okay," you relent, feeling like a burden, but you know he'd worry like hell if he didn't come back to you right now. Turns out you had low iron levels and low blood pressure. Pedro made you stay off work and re-scheduled his interview with Vanity Fair. He never left your side for the next couple of weeks while you recovered.

Your eyelids feel like they're made of lead but sleep still eludes you. Silently pushing up on your elbows, you peer over Pedro's shoulder at the alarm clock. 2:38 am. You lay back down on your side and your shuffling must have disturbed Pedro because now his arm has found it's way across your side, hand splayed on your back slowly pulling you into his broad body, tucking your head under his chin. He sighs in his sleep and his breathing evens out again as he settles back into slumber. Being wrapped up in the arms of the man you love is absolute heaven for you.

You lay a hand against his chest feeling the calm and slow movements of his thorax. With his arm draped over you it's impossible to not feel safe and protected. It feels like nothing in the world can ever hurt you and your child. Pedro's action's assured you of that when an overly enthusiastic fan verbally abused you one evening....

"The black Audi A6, please." Pedro handed the ticket to the valet as you both stepped out of the restaurant. After two weeks apart this date night is just what you both needed. The morning sickness had finally stopped by your seventh month and you'd been looking forward to this night all week. The clingy, thigh length, black maternity dress you'd bought especially for tonight hugged your bump and the curve of your hips perfectly. You actually felt attractive for the first time in months.

While waiting for the car you slip your hand into Pedro's and place a soft kiss on his shoulder. "Thank you for tonight. It's been perfect," you smiled warmly. Pedro let go of your hand to place his own at your waist, pulling you closer into his chest. "You deserve it, baby," he whispered as his lips brush your hairline. "And by the way," he adds while looking up and down your body, "You look incredible!" Even after all this time together he's still able to make you blush like a teenager. Before you can reply an excited squeal ruptures the still night air. "On my god! Pedro Pascal!" A young woman cries, unable to contain her elation.

She rushes over to you both with two more companions who are equally excited to meet Hollywood's hottest celebrity. The two girls and man couldn't have been older than their mid twenties. "Hi," Pedro smiled and tightened his grip on your waist. He's always been protective of you and now that you're having his baby that protective side has increased exponentially. "Can we have a photo, please!" The other girl asked with a huge grin. "Of course you can," Pedro chirped but didn't release his hold on you. You gently squeeze his hand while peeling it off your hip, a silent 'it's okay' and you excuse yourself to stand several feet away.

You're used to fans approaching, and you love to see how much Pedro's supporters adore him, and that his mere presence whips people up into a frenzy. You smile proudly in adoration, stroking your baby bump as you watch how much of a natural he is with his fans. "Thank you!" "We're huge fans!" "You're amazing!" "We love you!" The words are spilling out of their mouths at the same time, all talking over one another. "Aw, thank you so much, guys. That means a lot," Pedro replies, his beaming smile stretching from one cheek to the other.

While the women are still fussing, the man looks your way and then down to your rounded stomach. "Aww, baby Pascal," he burst vehemently. Suddenly he rushed at you, hands outstretched and a determined look on his face, "Can I feel?" The intensity from this stranger sent you into automatic defence mode for your baby. You step back, instinctively covering your belly just as he's about to grab you, permission or not! "Don't touch me!" you cautioned him, nervously. Pedro's head snapped from the women to your direction at the sound of your alarmed voice.

"Gee's Okay!" the man snapped at you irately. "I only wanted to feel. No need to be such a bitch about it!" He spat the word bitch out like he had a bad taste in his mouth causing your eyes to widen. "The fuck did you just say to her?!!" Pedro exploded as he stood between you and this entitled piece of shit. "Whoa... easy man-" the man stuttered in defence but Pedro cut him off. "You have no right to touch anyone against their will, especially a pregnant woman. And who the fuck do you think you are calling her a bitch because she said no?!" The man stared dumfounded. Pedro leaned in to the man's personal space, seething, "You'd better walk away while you still can!"

You've never seen Pedro this angry, literally shaking with rage, chest to chest with the guy, who looks like he's about to piss himself. His friends pull him away, scolding him in hushed tones and offering apologies to you both. "Baby?..." you soothed while stroking up and down Pedro's arm. He turns to you, chest heaving and still shaking but the moment he locks eyes with you his gaze softens, frown lines un-creasing and muscles relaxing. He wraps his arms around you, kissing the top of your head, languidly. "You're okay, darling. I won't ever let anything happen to you two." And he means that. You can feel the conviction of his declaration as if it were a physical manifestation.

You hadn't even realised you had fallen asleep until you were being jostled awake by a deep, concerned voice. "Y/N... Y/N, wake up." "Hmmm?" you groaned sleepily as you came to, feeling like you could smother Pedro with his pillow for waking you now! "You've got to be fucking kidding me!" annoyance and exhaustion seeped through your words. "Baby, I literally just dropped off!" "The bed's wet!" Pedro quickly replied. "What the?..." It was more of a realisation than a question as you looked down to see your shorts and the mattress completely soaked. "My water's have broken!" you gasp, looking wide eyed into Pedro's equally wide eyes. It's time....

Oh Daddy A Conclusion

[pilferingapples]

An Impromptu Ranking of Hugolian Adoptive Parental Figures

Ursus,The Man Who Laughs : I know everyone's going to want Valjean to be first place, but he's not. Ursus takes the lead not only because he's got two adopted kids, but because he does what no other dad-mom-general-adoptive-parent on the list does, and actually does the grubby hands-on work of Raising Kids. He doesn't have maids or nannies or nuns or any help; he's just a guy living in his traveling van and raising up a couple kids (who arrived at his door horribly sick and injured, even, which he manages to treat?? ) with zero support except for a literal wolf. He's honest with them and openly loving and teaches them how to survive in their own time and society. Too bad about the kids existing in a really bleak Hugo novel, but you did great, Ursus. 10/10.

Jean Valjean, Les Miserables: He loves Cosette SO much and tries SO hard! Second place only because (1) during the convent years, he sees Cosette for one hour a day , and while that limitation is definitely not his ideal choice,it does mean he's just not the constant primary caregiver the way Ursus is and (3) More Trauma means More Problems, and especially So Many Communications Issues. Plus a really really misguided faith in the importance of attaining bourgeoisdom. IDEK , man. Heroic efforts, heroic failures, 18/18 Napoleonic Antithesis Points maybe?

Lethierry, Toilers of the Sea: a decent normal guy raising his niece, who has very normal 19C Dad Faults-- too much trust in stereotyped gender roles, and too much focus on his job at the expense of his domestic life. Absolute middle of the road, not heroic as a parent but also doesn't do anything that makes me go "holy shit NO , dude" . He's just a humanly flawed but caring parental figure. 5/10 complete middle of the road

Cimourdain, Ninety-Three: Listen I LIKE Cimourdain. I respect his whole narrative arc. I think he's probably the most interesting character in the novel. But he loses Parenting Points for (1) not being the primary hands-on caregiver for large chunks of his adopted kid's life and (2) uh. the whole. the thing where he kills his adopted kid. There are circumstances yes I know but still . If you are directly responsible for the death of your kid you are going to lose points in the parenting games. That's just how it is. 4/4 with full symbolic meaning of the number.

Frollo, Notre Dame de Paris: HOLY SHIT NO, DUDE.

Semi-adopted THREE kids and TWO died horribly and he directly threatened the life of the last one. Even before then he's not a GREAT parent, largely leaving the raising of his sort-of sons up to others, locking one up in a single building, letting another fall into addiction, and the third go starving and homeless on the streets. So it's already not doin' great but arguably he's Trying?

But then he wants to bang a teenager, and decides they're all expendable. Absolute worst reason for the absolute worst parenting decisions. 8/8 you ARE the Fatalité , dude, look within and quit blaming your issues on teenagers.

Honorable Mentions: Radoub, Ninety-Three: gets the "like a mother" comparison, goes through a firefight for his adopted kids, stays sweet and cheerful and soft around the babies to the end. Gets set here because he's NOT an adoptive single parent, he's actually co-parenting with the kids' birth mom and they are delightful platonic parenting partners. We wish you, Michelle, and the kids all the best , Radoub! Good job getting out of your novel without killing anyone you love!

Gavroche, Les Miserables: OK he only manages to adopt the momes for an evening, and for an adult I'd be docking All The Points for that, but for an unparented 12 year old he is doing GREAT. He even kept looking for them afterwards! The biggest and most sincere You Tried star for you, Gavroche, it's not your fault you're all getting atomized hard enough to explode a barricade.

Dishonorable Mentions:

Gillenormand, Les Miserables : If you're gonna hold a kid as a financial hostage and destroy his dad's life because the kid's soooooo important to you, you might also try making sure that kid has any way to know that you actually give a damn about him? Maybe at least don't beat him with sticks? Legos be under your feet forever, Gillenormand!

The Slaveowner Uncle in Bug Jargal : absolutely perish

[spoilmesweetieforficssake]

The Good, The Bad And The Very Ugly

So from what I've gathered, you all seem rather fond of a pregnancy fic and I was honestly astounded at the response to my attempts. I was even more surprised that there were a few comments asking for a follow up?!

Well, how could I not when you asked so nicely? This follows on this pregnancy fic rather than the single mom one (though there is a part 2 coming for that too!) and is one of 3 further one shots I have planned. So...all that is to day I hope you enjoy!

~*~

When you pad through to the kitchen with the intention of putting the kettle on, you don’t expect to find Melissa grasping the work surface, her breathing ragged and uneven.  You immediately cross the space between you, laying one hand on her back and the other on top of the hand closest to you which has a white knuckle grip on the worktop. 

“’Lissa, what’s wrong?  What can I do?”

She just shakes her head, tears in her eyes, her breathing coming in short, sharp gasps. 

You recognise the symptoms you realise; she’s having a panic attack.  Prising her hands from the work surface, you hold them in your own, turning her to face you.  Speaking slowly and as calmly as you can you ignore the tremble in Melissa’s hands and instead focus on getting her to breathe.  It doesn’t happen immediately, but slowly, she responds to your quiet counting.  You tug her close, leaning her head on your shoulder as you slowly stroke one hand up and down her back.

Her breathing begins to settle, but you know from her intermittent sniffles that her tears have not.  The hand that still grasps your own finally loosens its death grip and you feel her shift so she can place her hand on your ever growing bump.

“You want to tell me what’s going on?”

She lets out a deep breath, finally pulling back to look at you.  “I can’t help you,” she whispers.

You frown, not following.  “You can’t help me?  Help with that?”

“This,” she says, looking down at your stomach.  “I feel like I pressured you into this and now you feel awful all the time and I can’t do anything to help.”

Smiling softly, you shake your head.  “Mel, I wouldn’t have let you put a baby in me if I didn’t want this.  And you didn’t put pressure on me.  We had a discussion, lots of them actually, and we agreed that this was what we both wanted.”

She sniffles, her eyes red rimmed with tears.  “But…”

“But what?” you prompt.

“But you’re miserable,” she grumbles.

You smile.  “No, I’m not.”

She takes a few shuddering, hiccupping breaths.  “It’s just hard, to see you going through all of this…the morning sickness that’s not just in the morning, being tired all the time because you don’t sleep so good, the aches that never go away and I just…”

“Exactly,” you breathe.  “You’re right there with me.  Mel, you’re literally there holding my hair and rubbing my back.  If I didn’t have you I’d be miserable.”"

“But I’m useless!” she whines.  “There’s nothing I can do to make you feel better and…what if something happens?  It all went so wrong for me before.”

Fresh tears gather in her eyes and you gather her close in a gentle embrace.  “A lot of things happened before,” you say softly.  “For both of us, but it brought us here, and I for one can’t regret what went before if it brought me to you.”

You cover the hand that still rests on your bump, moving it slightly to ensure she can feel the movement beneath.  Yes, it went wrong for her before, you know this.  It’s the reason you’re carrying the precious cargo that is the product of how wrong it went for her before.  It’s also part of the reason she’s so terrified something might happen.  You’re carrying a piece of her.  She’d gone through the ordeal of having her eggs frozen meaning that they’re a finite resource.  The IVF wasn’t easy, but it worked, and all the checks so far have been promising.  Everything is going well. 

“Feel that?” you ask.  “That’s your daughter, and she’s growing every single day.  Yes, she’s using my body as an amusement park and it’s not cute, but she’s strong, Melissa.  She needs you to be just as strong.  I need you to be strong.”

She takes a few deep breaths before looking up at you.  “I can do this.”

“Yes, you can,” you smile sweetly, leaning in to kiss her.  “I want this.  I want you.  I want this with you.  Never doubt that,” you whisper against her lips.  “If I had doubts about any of this, we wouldn’t be here.”

You lean your foreheads together.  “But that little life you can feel under your hand?  She’s here because I love you and I want this life with you and I know it’s scary and something might go wrong, but it also might not.”  You pause, taking a deep breath before you continue.  “But whatever happens, I’ll be here, because I will always want you.”

Your words come to a sudden stop as you make a run for the bathroom, leaving Melissa standing in her kitchen, tears in her eyes, still struggling to take in your words.  She’s never had quite such a heartfelt declaration in her life.  She’s still reeling as she moves on autopilot, fetching a glass of water and a pack of your mints before following you to the bathroom.

She sits next to you on the bathroom floor, despite the fact she knows she’ll probably need you to help her up afterwards.  In a few weeks time you’re going to need Janine or someone suitably young and agile to haul you both up off the floor.

“See, where would I be without you,” you smile.  “Sat on the bathroom floor and miserable.”

“I love you,” she says quietly.  “And I’m sorry about before.”

You shift until you can lean your head on her shoulder.  “Never apologise for that,” you tell her, lacing your fingers with hers.  “You’re allowed to be scared.  Hell, so am I.  But we’re in this together.  I put up with the vomiting and feeling gross and disgusting and you put up with me, the good and the bad and the very ugly.  It’s teamwork.”

[moiravim]

Found part 2

Dad!Din Djarin x Teen!GN!yn part 2

Summary: Din bonding with his children; Grogu and YN.

it had been just a few days since Din had taken you in. He was quiet at first but slowly started warming up to you.

One of the first things you noticed about him was how protective he was of you. He took you and Grogu's wellbeing very seriously.

You had gotten sick and are currently in 'bed rest'. It was miserable. You were sweating and your head was aching worst than you'd ever felt before.

You could tell Din was stressed by the way he was acting. He wouldn't let you get up and would do everything for you. He was already like this, but now that your sick it's ten times worst.

He babies you but you just want to get back to normal again. You've been bored out of your mind.

Grogu and you had become close friends. Although you were very different, you both shared a father figure. That was the main cause of your sibling-like relationship.

It was also nice being around someone who wasn't an adult. Someone you could play around and get into trouble with.

You room was very small and had a mattress placed in the corner along with a few toys scattered and a basket of clothes. A few hours ago Din had tucked you and Grogu in bed and the two of you were supposed to be sleeping.

But currently you and Grogu were playing catch. Grogu was using the force while you played how you used to see other kids play.

Din walked in to check on you and when he realized you were playing he said; "Hey, stop that. Grogu, you need to save your energy. And YN. your supposed to be sleeping. Go to bed." He says as he takes the ball from you.

You frown and lay back down. "How much longer?" You ask in a miserable voice. He looks down at you and responds; "just a few more days. It'll go by faster if you sleep."

You nod your head and close your eyes. Din grabs your blanket and tucks you in before picking up Grogu and leaving the room.

[dameronscopilot]

* = contains smut

// SERIES

I'll Be Your Bright Side* - Benny Miller is your best friend. But as time goes on, it’s becoming more and more difficult to differentiate between the rapidly blurring lines of friendship and something more—the far deeper feelings that keep you up at night.

// ONESHOTS

i'd be home with you - Leave it to Benny Miller to finally kiss you after five years of dancing around one another, only to turn tail and run, disappearing for weeks without a goddamn trace.

spinning on that dizzy edge - While there’s not a single doubt that you and Benny Miller have shared a heady, distracting mutual attraction from the day that the two of you met, the timing has just never been right.

tides & heat* - Flirting with Benny Miller every chance you get while simultaneously deflecting his advances is all fun and games until you find yourself stuck at his bar in the middle of a tropical storm.

Reflections* - You think mirrored closet doors are the perfect solution for making your small bedroom feel a bit less tiny. Benny, on the other hand, has other ideas about what exactly they’re good for.

Wrapped up in You* - You’re downright exhausted after running a marathon, so Benny does what he does best: he takes care of you.

Dealer's Choice - Another night at the casino means another night of watching Benny and Santiago fail miserably at poker.

Determined* - Once you start talking about the future, Benny takes his mission to knock you up very seriously.

All I Need* - Holidays are always difficult when Benny can’t take leave from his deployment. But this year, unbeknownst to you, he will be home for Christmas.

wanton intonation* - Benny realizes just how much the sound of his deep voice affects you one morning.

good form* - Benny’s self-control only goes so far, especially when he’s trying to teach you how to do squats.

// THREESOMES

a proposition* (Santiago Garcia x f!reader x Benny Miller) - Santiago thinks that maybe it’s time for the two of you to change things up in the bedroom. Because if he’s going to share you with anyone, it’s most certainly going to be Benjamin Miller.

A Helping Hand* (Benny Miller x f!reader x Frankie Morales) - You and Benny are no good at being quiet, not even when you’re staying in Frankie’s guest room.

The Feeling’s Mutual* (Santiago Garcia x f!reader x Benny Miller) - Sometimes, maybe, the best way to tell two of your closest friends that you want to sleep with them is to accidentally watch porn together.

// HEADCANONS/DRABBLES/MISC.

▸ Autumn with Benny ▸ Confessing feelings/dating ▸ Wound care ▸ Cuddling ▸ Dad!Benny ▸ Benny's terms of endearment ▸ Kissing Benny ▸ Meeting Benny at a bar 1 & 2 ▸ Stealing Benny's clothes ▸ Cuddling on the back porch ▸ Soft Benny during your period ▸ How Benny lost his virginity

NSFW* ▸ Benny's kinks* ▸ Cuddling* ▸ Spicy thots* ▸ Jealous Benny Miller* ▸ Stained: period sex with Benny* ▸ Patience: or, Benny fails at cockwarming* ▸ Quickies with Benny* ▸ Hands to Yourself: Benny watches you masturbate* ▸ Keep the Gloves On: glove kink* ▸ Excess adrenaline* ▸ Benny + cuddle sex* ▸ Benny + shower sex* ▸ Benny + voice kink, dirty talk* ▸ Benny, blindfolded* ▸ Benny takes care of you when you're sick* ▸ Filled: creampies, baby!*

// ADDITIONAL

Benny x reader x Santiago

▸ Benny & Santi help you sleep* ▸ Benny & Santi make a bad day better* ▸ Rainy days with Benny & Santi* ▸ Consensual voyeurism with Benny & Santi* ▸ Spicy thots with Benny & Santi* ▸ Benny & Santiago distract you ▸ Comfort after a nightmare with Benny & Santi ▸ Under the Weather with Benny & Santi ▸ Intertwined: cuddling on a cold night with Benny & Santi ▸ Casual conversation* ▸ Phone sex*

Benny x reader vs. Santiago x reader

▸ Types of affection with Benny vs. Santiago ▸ No Nut November: Benny vs. Santiago* ▸ Dating Benny vs. Santiago ▸ Domesticity with Benny vs. Santiago ▸ Favorite Body Parts: Benny vs. Santiago* ▸ Stamina and Sex Drive: Benny vs. Santiago*

Benny, Santiago, Frankie, & Will

▸ Sending the boys candle shopping ▸ A night at the fair with the boys ▸ Dirty talk with the boys* ▸ The boys meet your friends ▸ The boys rescue you at the bar ▸ Party tricks with the boys ▸ Thanksgiving with the boys ▸ The boys vs. the lube snail ▸ The boys & their caffeinated weapons of choice ▸ The boys vs. Just Dance ▸ The boys vs. cursed underwear

// GIFSETS

▸ Benny + yelling ▸ Benny + smiling ▸ Benny + Santi ▸ Benny's MMA intro

// OTHER

Santiago x Benny (no reader)

focus - (Santiago Garcia x Benny Miller) In which Santiago can’t help but give in to the urge to distract Benny while he’s busy reading.

▸ Benny & Santi kissing

various spicy Benny ramblings: #benny thots

» BACK TO MAIN MASTERLIST

[cyberrose2001]

Could you do a pt2 with pregnant reader, like Optimus finds her throwing up with morning sickness. Would really appreciate it. Love your writing.❤️❤️

TFP Optimus x fem!reader

trying out different writing styles so sorry if this feels a lil different to the previous part

SO this is pt 2 of this -> Read here!

There will be a pt 3 so keep an eye out for that, but for now, enjoy! <3

Warnings: Emetophobia, mentions of sex, pregnancy

Word count: 1201

As much as you loved getting dicked down by your alien robot boyfriend for the first time last night, you heavily underestimated the following effects. Unfortunately, waking up to the feeling of your body trying to eject the contents of your stomach was not on your agenda for the day. So, you try to crawl out from under a servo that held you, desperately trying not to throw up all over his shiny chassis.

The idea of you being pregnant never crosses your mind as you ungracefully stumble off the giant berth, almost faceplanting, and run for the nearest toilet, sink, or whatever you may find first. Then, with your mouth salivating at the impending feeling of throwing up, you find a conveniently placed trash can at the room's doorway. You practically throw yourself at it and heave your guts into the poor trash can.

It's unusual because you don't remember eating glowing bright blue soup for dinner last night before you had the pounding of a lifetime from your boyfriend. You weren't sure if you even ate dinner last night, too preoccupied with the jealousy of your cousin and the fact that Optimus had offered to put a baby in you. Yet the thought of you being knocked up still evaded your mind as you leaned over the bin and threw up a few more mouthfuls of the disgusting-tasting "soup". Your nostrils singed from the smell, and the sensation of your oesophagus melting away makes your eyes water. And honestly, the trash can is probably having a better time than you are presently.

Being a relatively light sleeper, Optimus notices your absence from under his servo and awakens to the pathetic sight of you hunched over the bin. Concerned, as one would be by the view of their significant other vomiting, he leaps out of the berth with the gracefulness that you had failed to execute yourself and rushes over to your side.

"Are you alright?" Optimus hovers a hesitant servo over your back, unsure what to do. Then, after recollecting himself from being hit by a wall of stench from the contents of the bin, he peers his optics around to your face; you're sweating bullets, your hair still unruly from last night's antics and clung to your forehead.

You spat out the remnants of your saliva mixed with whatever the hell you just threw up and lifted a shaky hand to pull your hair out of your face, "Just peachy."

Optimus ignores your sarcastic tone and reaches his servo to pull your hair out of your face, gathering the now slightly wet strands behind your head like a makeshift ponytail.

"Shall I call for Ratchet?"

No, for Primus sake no. The last thing you'd ever want was for Optimus to drag the cranky medic out of his recharge to point and laugh at your miserable, sweaty state. Not to mention his horrified questioning about exactly why you're throwing up glowing blue Gatorade. Not that you knew, either. That's an awkward conversation for another time.

"Please don't." You beg, wiping the corner of your mouth with your hand, "Just… get me some water or something… pretty please?"

Optimus, though very reluctant to not advise his medic of your current predicament, obliges and goes to fetch you a bottle of water. You've trained him well. He returns in record time and passes it to you, and you make no haste to unscrew the cap and scull as much as you can.

"June, perhaps?" Optimus suggests, a servo returning to your back, "I understand that she is proficient in human health."

"Yeah, I guess she will be fine." You grimace, looking down at the swirling patterns of what once was your stomach contents, "Though I'm not sure if there are any cases of glowing throw-up in her medical books."

-

"Glowing what?"

"Puke. Bioluminescent blue puke."

June Darby considers herself a seasoned nurse. She has seen just about everything, but this? Unheard of. She tries to wrack her brain on everything she has ever learned through her many years of medical experience but comes up with nothing as she is now forced to stand there looking like a lost, wet cat.

She clicks the pen in her hand with deep thought, a crumpled piece of paper retrieved from her pocket in the other, "Do you remember eating anything strange? Have you done anything unusual at all that would've caused it? Exposure to chemicals, or…"

You felt the blood simultaneously drain from and flush to your face as you remember getting down and dirty with Optimus for the first time last night. Well, you were sure there was plenty of exposure to chemicals in the form of your boyfriend's transfluids. Drumming the old crusty hospital gurney beneath you with your fingers, you wonder whether or not you should tell June that you had let Optimus make sweet love to you for the first time.

And that's when you remember why he fragged you in the first place. You wanted a baby. And sweet Primus, it's all just hitting you square in the face now.

Could it be that you're pregnant? It starts to add up. The morning sickness, not to mention the abnormal glowing throw-up and the fact that you actually begged Optimus to put a baby in you and complied with the most enormous load of cum your body has ever taken (it's taking a lot for you not to drool at the thought). It makes a least a little bit of sense.

"June, do you happen to have a pregnancy test on you?"

-

After an awkward conversation with June about your recent endeavour with Prime, with her secretly being incredibly impressed, she gave you a clean-ish bill of health. Next, she sent you to the bathroom with a packet of pregnancy tests, with her being on standby in case you pass out from nausea, excitement or the sensation of a potential baby that may be in your uterus currently.

You open one test and place it on the bathroom sink, then pull your pajama pants down to your ankles in preparation for your first time peeing on a stick, akin to a dog. You giggle.

Task successful. You pull your pants up and wash your hands, counting every second the cold water hits your skin. It gave you some time to think. Would a regular pregnancy test even register if the fetus isn't human? Would it show up at all? Was Optimus truthful when he agreed to try and conceive a child, or was it just the lust combined with robot hormones doing the talking?

You didn't have enough time to answer your little pop quiz as you're alerted to the small beep of the Clearblue stick still sitting on the bathroom sink.

Pregnant.

Holy shit. You were having a baby.

An uncontrollable tsunami of emotions floods your senses as you pick up the stick, getting a closer look to ensure you aren't dreaming. It's real. It's so real that you're resisting the urge to climb to the top of the base and scream it out for everyone on Earth and potentially Cybertron to hear.

I'm gonna be a mom.

[alittlebitofloveliness]

can you please do prompt 2 and 4 with johnny cade?

Outsiders Prompt Fic #5- Why does it hurt so much?

Hi anon! I chose prompt 2 to write for this one. Enjoy!

******************

Johnny Cade is no stranger to pain.

When he was three mama had dropped him taking him out of the bath and he’d hit his head bad enough to give him a concussion. When he was six dad had broken his arm after he lost a little league game and cried about it. He’d survived more beatings than most kids could even dream of- even most east side kids. He’d been sworn at, screamed at, kicked, punched, slapped, and on one particularly memorable occasion when he was fourteen, walloped with a two by four when his old man had been laid off from his job at the lumberyard. He’d even been jumped, bad enough that that horrible white scar tore down his face would be a permanent fixture he was still trying to come to terms with. Over the years he’d come to learn how to grin and bear it. He took every beating in silence, because crying or begging or even screaming only ever made them worse. He’d laughed with broken ribs. Smiled through a puffy lip. Leaned against his friends even when it pressed against his bruises, until pain became first a constant and then an afterthought, simply another fact of his miserable life. You spend enough time in pain, he’d come to realize, then being in pain just becomes normal. 

Which is why it’s strange that the stomach flu of all things seems to be able to bring him to his knees- literally. He’s currently puking in the Curtis’ bathroom, unsure if the vomiting or the agony radiating from his stomach is what’s forcing tears from his eyes.

God, his stomach hurts. He can’t remember anything ever hurting this much. Not even that time mama pressed his palm against the stove when he was eight and accidentally spilled the dinner she made.

“Easy Johnny, you’re alright,” Pony is here, the quiet, supportive pillar he’s always been that makes him Johnny’s best friend in the whole world. Though a part of him is embarrassed that anyone is here to witness this, a much larger part of him, the part that is tired, sick and in pain, is infinitely glad that Ponyboy is here. Pony won’t judge him, never has, never will. Pony will take care of him, the way he has for the past three days, and not make him feel like a baby. Everyone else, whenever they’re around, has hovered and coddled. Pony is just present, his worry quieter, his care soft with love but not pity.

Even Dallas had been weird about this, the whole Johnny being sick thing. He’d acted like a spooked horse when he first got sick and not reappeared after he first came by to check on him two days ago. Maybe if Johnny wasn’t feeling so lousy, he’d care more about that, try and puzzle out why. As it is, it’s all he can do to make sure he makes it to the toilet every time he needs to puke.

It’s a strange illness, one Johnny is quite sure he never wants to experience again. Crashing waves of nausea and pain for hours, followed by brief reprieves where he believes he’s started to turn a corner before the nausea returns full force. It’s a vicious cycle. Johnny hates it.

He’s so tired. 

“It’s just the stomach flu,” he murmurs to Pony, slumping bonelessly against his friend’s side. The younger boy presses a glass of water into his hand, and Johnny lifts it to his lips, his hand shaking like a leaf, “why does it hurt so much?’

“That’s just the thing ain’t it Johnnycakes? I’m startin’ to think it isn’t just the stomach flu.”

Pony’s getting real worried now, Johnny can tell because his voice always gets a bit younger when he’s anxious and he starts immediately looking around for Darry. But Darry isn’t here right now, is at work for at least the next hour. Soda and Steve are both working close at the DX, Two-bit is nursing his own sick kid sister, and Dally is still wherever Dally is. If the chips turn down- and they will, because Johnny knows he must have been born under a bad star for all the times luck is never in his favour- Pony is all he’s got. The thought isn’t as daunting as perhaps it should be. Here he is, sick and not entirely conscious, and all he knows is he trusts Ponyboy Curtis with his life. For all Ponyboy is two years younger, for all he’s the baby of the gang, Johnny doesn’t know anyone he depends on as much as him.

“Probably not,” he admits. This isn’t right, he knows it, has known it since yesterday even. The stomach flu shouldn’t feel like there’s a hot iron stuck in his abdomen, shouldn’t make him half paralyzed with pain and unable to think properly. “Whatever it is, I think it might be bad.”

“Darry’ll be home in a hour,” Pony says decisively, and if Johnny wasn’t so sick he doesn’t think he’d be able to hide his grin at the fact that for all Pony complains about his eldest brother, he’s always the first person he goes to in a crisis, “I’ll give him a call, see if he can hurry along, and we’ll get him to take you to a clinic.”

“Don’t got insurance,” Johnny points out. If he went to the doctor, it wouldn’t matter if this illness didn’t kill him because his old man sure would, “can’t afford no hospital bills.”

“Don’t worry about that,” Ponyboy waves his concern off, “Darry got Dal to get you a fake insurance card. It’s a real good forgery, looks as good as my real one. Far as the state’s concerned, you’re me when you’re sick.

“I ain’t passin’ those hospital bills to you guys!”

“Well we ain’t takin’ no for an answer. If you need a hospital, you’ll go.”

Johnny can tell he means it. He also knows Darry and Soda will back him. All the Curtis boys are as stubborn as they come, and selfless to boot.

He sighs, too tired to argue.

“Alright.”

“I’ll go give Darry a call,” Pony says, squeezing his shoulder gently before he leaves. 

Johnny counts the tiles on the bathroom floor as a fresh wave of agony rears it’s ugly head, causing sweat to bead on his brow and harsh breaths to force their way through his clenched teeth.

He’s only managed to count thirteen tiles by the time Ponyboy returns with a cool cloth and a relieved expression.

“Darry’ll be here in twenty minutes,” Pony tells him, pressing the cloth against his burning neck. He can’t help but sigh at the feeling. It does nothing to dull the pain but offer something else to focus on, but for Johnny that’s enough, “he was almost done anyway but his forman let him go early since it’s an emergency.”

He bites his lip, and Johnny can tell he’s trying very hard to decide whether he’s going to say whatever it is he’s thinking.

“Dar…darry says he thinks you might have appendicitis,” he says at last. Huh,Johnny thinks, that kind of makes sense. With his luck, it’s not surprising his own organs have decided to mutiny against him. “He says he was worried about it yesterday but now he’s pretty sure. You’ll definitely need the hospital.”

At this point, if a hospital can make the pain even lessen, it’ll be worth it.

“Thanks Pony,” he leans his head against his best friend’s shoulder, too tired and too sick to do anything else.

Pony rests his own head on Johnny’s, long hair tickling Johnny’s cheek, until Darry bursts in in all his superman glory and takes control of the situation the way he always does.

Johnny Cade is no stranger to pain, but with a friend like Ponyboy Curtis to help him through it he doesn’t really mind.

[somber-sapphic]

Stupid Lungs Part 2

Your nightmare continues. Sort of. Is it a nightmare? Who knows?

Word Count: 1964

-----

You shot up in bed, trying desperately to detangle yourself from the tangle of blankets and limbs you were wound up in. A hand grabbed your shoulder and you screamed. You couldn’t see anything, it was so dark. Why was it so dark? What happened? Were you dead?

“FRI, lights 15%, now!” The room lit up slightly but you continued to struggle, not fully understanding what was happening. You were in Wanda and Natasha’s room and there was a tube running from your arm. Now that you knew it was there you pulled it out, much to the frustration of the two women. 

“Honey, no, that's medicine. You need that. Y/n, can you look at me?” Natasha very gently grabbed your face, forcing you to look at her. You met her eyes, trying to figure out what was happening. Her expression was one of pure compassion, love and concern rivaled only anxiety. 

“That's it, there you go. That’s it. Can you take a deep breath?” You nodded a little and glanced over to Wanda whose hand had taken up almost permanent residence on the small of your back. She gave you a reassuring smile, encouraging you to breathe. 

You sucked in a gulp of air, pleased to find that it no longer burned your lungs. The breath was still a little wheezy and it ended in a small cough, but you felt decidedly better. 

“What’s happening?” You croaked, dropping your head against Natasha’s shoulder, hoping that she wouldn’t shrug you off. She did basically the opposite. She wrapped her arms around your waist and pulled you back so that you were pressed flush against her. That just confused you more, although you relished the contact. 

“Seriously, am I dead? I don’t wanna be dead.” The second sentence came out as more of a whimper and you felt your eyes gloss over with tears. Wanda pursed her lips and leaned in to kiss the tip of your nose. You had to be dead. Why did they care so much? Why were they so…physical contact-y? You knew that the two of them both enjoyed physical touch, but you’d only ever seen them hold hands in public. 

“No baby, you’re not dead. You’re sick, remember?” She tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, pausing to touch your forehead. “Mm, really shouldn't be that warm still. Natty, we’re going to need to get her some ibuprofen and see if we can get that IV back in.” She was frowning slightly, but she was just so pretty. Natasha slipped it carefully back into your arm and you felt the medicine rush back into your veins. It was cold and made you feel groggy, but it wasn’t too bad.

“You’re pretty,” Fuck, had you said that? Oh god. You were going to die. This was the end. Your cheeks flushed a dark pink, but Wanda grinned at you. Natasha squeezed your middle gently, smiling ear to ear. If you could see the look on her face you probably would’ve fainted. 

“Yeah, you are too. Little bit sweaty though, we might need to get you a shower soon.” She just brushed past it as if nothing had happened. God, what sort of alternate universe did Dr. Strange portal you into? 

Your eyes went wide as you realized just how clingy you had been and how clingy you were still being. You could probably still blame it on the fever, but what would happen once you were better? They were going to tear you apart, they were going to hate you for needing them. 

“Shh, your thoughts are so loud.” Wanda could read thoughts. How were you always forgetting that? She shook her head at you, giving a small sad smile. “We don’t hate you, right printsessa?” The woman glanced up at Natasha, who began rubbing your shoulders.

“We could never hate you bubs. You’re a beautiful, strong, wonderful woman who deserves nothing but the best. Right now, you don’t feel well and you need cuddles.” Shame, you shouldn't've felt such miserable shame. That’s all that ran through your mind as you recounted the events of the day before. The crying, begging for their attention, the sniffling and coughing. You were disgusting. 

“I’m so sorry…I’m so, so sorry. I didn’t mean to. I didn’t want to get in the way of your relationship, I’m gonna go now. I’m so sorry.” You whimpered, struggling to climb over Natasha. 

“My sweet girl, stop with that. If you get up you’ll fall on your face.” The redhead held you back, tucking your head against her chest. The rhythmic beat of her heart filled your ears and you felt yourself relax a little bit. 

“I didn’t mean to bother you guys. You shouldn’t have to put up with me.” Why did you think this would work out? Wanda moved closer to you and kissed your shoulder. They kept kissing you. And hugging you. And giving you pet names. Did they like you? No, they couldn’t, they were dating. 

“Oh baby, that fever’s making you a little dense, huh?” Wanda teased, stroking your cheek. Waid, had you said that last part out loud? Wanda was pretty. Natasha was pretty. Girls were pretty. These girls specifically. 

“Y/n, we want you to join our relationship, but only if that’s something you’d be interested in. I know you aren’t feeling well and you don’t need to decide right now, hell you don’t need to decide at all. If you want, you can stop talking to us forever, but I’d really rather that didn’t happen,” Natasha chuckled, sounding really nervous. 

“Rambling aside,” the brunette gave her girlfriend a look that clearly meant ‘shut up’ and continued her speech. “We really care about you. We want to be able to hold you and care about you and give you cuddles whenever you need them. We want you to be with us Y/n. We want to be with you.” 

You were shocked. They couldn’t mean it, right? Why would they want to be with you? What did you have that they wanted? You were just…well, you. And they were amazing women who literally threw themselves into battles. You did too, but not quite with the same enthusiasm and bravery that they did. Wanda could destroy someone's mind with a single thought. Natasha was a trained assassin who had nearly killed you once when you had first met. That's when you had fallen in love with her. Oh shit, you were in love. You were in love with these women who seemed to love you back. Maybe. Jury was still out on that one. 

“Um…you, wait. But, that doesn’t make sense. Um, are you lying? Wait this…you’re too…you.” You gestured at the two of them, absolutely incredulous. You shivered aggressively and wrapped your arms around your middle, trying to keep warm. Your fever was still pretty high and your body was wracked with chills. 

“Okay,” Wanda sighed and you felt Natasha sag against you. They were disappointed that you didn’t seem to understand, but understood that you’d been hurt before and really didn’t trust that they were being serious. That coupled with the fever was turning you into an absolute mess. “Let’s get some food into you, we’ll talk about this a little later.”

The woman beneath you shifted, placing you on the mattress. She looked disappointed and seemed to have tears in her eyes. Why was she crying? And why did you feel as if you were prepared to do anything to make those tears go away?

“No, no Natasha, don't cry. Please don’t cry.” You grabbed her hand and kissed her knuckles, unsure of what you were doing. It felt right, but a little scary. “I didn’t mean to upset you, I’m so sorry. Please, tell me how to fix it.” You begged, trying to pull her back down. You missed her arms and her warmth. 

She wiped her tears away and sat back down. You leaned forward hesitantly and kissed her forehead, then pulled back, biting your lower lip. She smiled and leaned forward to rest her forehead against yours. 

“I…um…I don’t want you to go.” You glanced over at Wanda who was smiling warmly at the two of you. 

“We aren’t going anywhere, dove. You want to lay back down for me? You’re shaking a little bit more than I think you should be.” Natasha cooed, easing you into Wanda’s arms. “I do think we should get you something to drink though, I’ll be right back, okay?” She kissed your forehead again, before stepping out of the room, leaving you with Wanda. 

“You were crying when I found you. Honey, can you tell me why?” The witch asked, tucking the blanket around your shoulders. You looked down, not quite wanting to answer the question. 

“Um…Tony wanted me…he um…he was trying to make me sleep so he…he locked me in my room…I…he was just trying to-” You broke off, trying to keep yourself from breaking down again. You couldn’t seem to keep it together lately. 

“I’m going to kill him.” She said simply, voice grave with hate. You’d heard that determination in her voice and you knew that she meant it. She was going to kill him. 

“I’m sorry-”

“No, no baby, no apologies from you. There’s no reason for you to apologize. It’s all okay.” Wanda soothed, just as Natasha walked into the room carrying a bottle of water, some sort of dark purplish liquid medicine. 

“Why are we apologizing?” The woman asked, instantly reading the tension in the room. 

“Tony did something stupid, we’re going to let it go for now though.” Wanda practically growled, smoothing your slightly tangled hair. Nat’s eyes went wide, but she nodded, noting the red tinge in the witch's eyes. The two of you were lucky that she meant you no harm, otherwise she’d probably tear you apart. 

“Okay, that's alright. How about we get this medicine into you and then go back to sleep, yeah? We can try for a shower when you’re feeling a little bit better.” The woman said, easing the nerves radiating off of you. Then you realized that you’d have to take medicine, which was one of your least favorite things. 

You wrinkled your nose and ducked your head against Wanda, hoping that she’d provide protection from the disgusting taste of the medicine. Didn’t they already have you on antibiotics? Wasn’t that what the IV was for? Why did you need this?

“No thank you.” You mumbled, using your arms to shield yourself from Natasha. 

“I know you don’t want it, but this will help. The antibiotics are doing their job, but you’ve still got a pretty bad fever and I want to get you drugged.” She smiled, lifting the cup to your lips. 

“I hate you.” You mumbled, allowing her to pour the medicine into your mouth. You grimaced at the taste and the feeling of it going down your throat. 

“Good girl.” You glared at her and turned back to Wanda, pouting tiredly. You yawned and nestled against her neck, absorbing her warmth. 

“C’n I go back to sleep?” The witch made a sound and you smiled, knowing that the answer would be a yes. 

“Course you can love. We’ll try some food later, okay?” She kissed your forehead and Natasha slipped back into bed beside you. The redhead wrapped an arm around waist and curled herself around you, forming a protective cocoon. 

“Not gonna leave?” You grabbed Natasha’s hand, making sure that she wouldn’t go away. 

“Nope, not leaving. Take a nap, pretty girl. We’ll be here when you wake up.” With that, you allowed your eyes to slip closed, comforted by the fact that you finally had people who loved you.

[the1975attheirverybest]

10 things Matty does as a dad

A/n: the brain rot will not stop so….

Warnings: none

————

Freak out at the hospital when the nurse hands him his newborn baby for the first time. “Oh gosh what if I drop her.” “Oh she’s so small. How can a person be so small.” “hi little one. I’m your daddy it’s so good to meet you.” “I love you already.”

Gets up every single time the baby does. Even though he and the wife have a schedule and it hinges upon one of them being awake and alert when the other isn’t. So it defeats the purpose for him to wake up every time but he insists he’d just feel guilty if he kept sleeping while his wife and child are awake at night.

Takes a year off from work. No producing. No writing for other artists. No 1975 stuff. He might scribble stuff down or try ideas if something comes to him. But he’s not like actively trying to make a record at all. So, he stays with the baby at home all day when the missus gets back to work and gets really into baby nutrition. Reading books on obscure health benefits of rare oils and extracts. Tries to buy a bunch of them online.

Oh the online shopping. When it’s late at night and he’s rocking the baby back to sleep and he’s kinda sleep deprived, he makes questionable decisions. Buys every toy that markets itself as “educational.” Or important to kids cognitive development or whatever. His missus has to institute a rule where they need to donate 2 old toys for each new toy they purchase.

The pediatrician tells him that talking and reading to the baby is important in order to make sure they acquire the strongest vocabulary by age 3. So he starts to read to her regularly. First, it’s children’s books. But then it progresses to whatever he can find around the house. Grocery lists, the blender manual, song lyrics, emails. He even does different voices and sound effects to keep things interesting.

He asks his baby girl for her input on music even before she’s old enough to understand what she’s really saying. “Come here, daddy wants to show you something. What do you think? You like it?”

Let’s her design tour posters/ album cover/ merch graphics

Establishes a regular dad-daughter date. Even when she’s an infant. A whole day of just the two of them. It starts out as just him needing to prove to himself that he could take care of her all day without asking for help from anyone. But he just keeps doing it as time goes by. It becomes a bonding experience. As she grows up, they start to use this time to talk about school, what she’s into, her friends, etc.

Cries when she’s sick. The missus will be like “matty, children get the sniffles sometimes. She’ll be okay. This is fine. Necessary even! For her immune system.” But he’s just like “she’s so miserable and can hardly breathe poor girl.” He’s practically a mess when she gets the chickenpox. All his memories of getting it or watching his brother get it mean nothing to him. He acts as if his kid is the first and last one to ever get sick on parent earth.

He watches YouTube tutorials to learn to do various hair styles just to impress her by offering her options when she asks him to help her do her hair for school in the morning.

[imsadstuff]

Loving You Is Red - A Jeon Jungkook Fic, voice memo's that were never sent

Synopsis: Jeon Jungkook's name was unheard on the Formula 1 paddock till he got a chance to drive a Mercedes car as a reserve driver. His 2020 starts looking brighter as he signs with Ferrari and meets you, his team mates little sister. So many cliched tropes, strangers to friends to lovers, slow burn, dating brother's best friend, and most importantly Jeon Jungkook looks smoking hot in a Ferrari! Genre: Angst, lots of it, happy ending Word Count: 3.5kAuthor's Note: So, this is a little extra instalment based on something my boyfriend did. He told me about the voice notes he left for me during our break up. he wanted to call and tell me a million things, but instead he'd leave a voice memo in his phone, pretending like they got to me. made me sob like a baby. so, this is a version of that for loving you is red, different voice notes Jungkook records for OC over the five years they're apart... I highly recommend you read the fic to have a better understanding of this. You can find the fic here

please don't be a ghost reader, likes, comments, reblogs, show your appreciation (given you like it 🫣)

Day after Abu Dhabi Race 2020

Jungkook was hungover and tired, the night had been kind of a blur after he won the race. He still couldn’t believe he was the 2020 F1 world champion, he still couldn’t believe you weren’t in the bed beside him, he still couldn’t believe he let you go.

Jungkook was drinking to feel numb, but the morning came and the emotions were starting to eat him up. His hand hovers over your number, Jungkook wants to apologise and wants you back, but he fights the urge as he locks his phone and throws it on the bed as he walks into the washroom.

Walking back with his towel low on his hips, he picks up his phone again, opening the voice recorder app instead. He needs to let out all the intense emotions he’s feeling.

“Hey, just got done crying in the shower. I feel so overwhelmed and anxious, so much is happening all at once. I can’t believe yesterday really happened” he sighs as the app continues recording as he sits down on the bed.

“I’m supposed to go out and celebrate my amazing season but I feel sick just thinking about yesterday. I feel so guilty, I don’t deserve this win” tears are staining his cheeks again, he takes a few deep breaths to compose himself.

“We weren’t supposed to end this way ___…” your name feels heavy in Jungkook’s heart as he presses stop on the recording. Flopping back in bed, he allows himself to cry a little more, processing everything is just too much right now. 

1st January 2021

“It’s been a month and a half since I last saw you, feels like forever” Jungkook struggles to stand still as he records another voice memo. Jungkook’s friends invited him out, hoping to distract him and celebrate the new years, but you were still on his mind.

“The new year started fifteen minutes ago, so my resolution for this year is to get over you, I’m going to get a tattoo to symbolise that too” he promises as he gulps down the whiskey, taking a good look at himself in the mirror. All he sees is a shitty, depressed version of himself and he doesn’t like it one bit.

“I have to start getting over you, I can’t keep feeling broken like this” his voice cracks as he struggles to keep the tears away, he’s been crying a lot more than usual lately.

“I hate myself some more just imagining you being miserable like this. I hope you’ve realised that you’re better off without me, that you deserve someone who prioritises you” he whispers the last part as he lets the tears win once again.

“Happy new year ___, I know this year can’t top the magic that was 2020, but I’ll try. I have to unless all this pain was for nothing” he chuckles dryly as he stops recording. It takes him a few minutes to compose himself, but he does, he’s getting shockingly good at pretending like he’s fine.

Race 2 2021

Jungkook’s frustrated as he shuts the door to his hotel room, it’s the second race of the season and the car is absolutely not supporting him. He can feel the anger simmer inside him as he struggles to fall asleep, he’s been struggling with this for a while now.

“I wish you were here right now. Bad day’s didn’t feel as bad with you” he says as he stares at the ceiling as his phone records beside him.

“You’d probably help me realise that the issues are out of my control, that I need to be a little patient. You’d run your fingers through my hair, in an attempt to calm me down” his hand rakes through his hair as the memory of you doing the same flashes in his mind.

“But most importantly, you’d put on the office because that’s your cure for everything” an actual giggle escapes his lips as he turns off the recording and opens the netflix app.

That night, he falls asleep as Michael Scott does something childish. 

Race 7 2021

“Phillip was on call with you while we were out for a photo shoot and I heard your voice for the first time in months” Jungkook sighs as he takes a seat on the kitchen counter, something you’d usually do.

“I was starting to feel better and then I heard your voice” he says as he eats straight from the pan.

“You were talking about the weather in Oxford, adjusting in your new apartment, your voice sounded the same. Soft as always” he stares into his empty, dark apartment as he wonders what your new apartment looks like.

“And all I’ve been thinking since then is how quickly one can go from knowing each intimate detail of someone’s life to being an absolute stranger to them. How life keeps moving on, even when your heart can’t” he’s starting to lose his appetite the more he thinks about it.

“But I’m glad you’re moving on, You deserve to” Jungkook chuckles as he says that, he means that, he truly does.

“In other news, my year has been an absolute shit show so far, Seven races in and no wins for me yet. Maybe I am just a one hit wonder like the press has been calling me” Jungkook doesn’t find any of this funny, it’s eating him up and the problems just keep piling on.

“I need to stop talking into the recording app and go out and talk to actual people” he thinks out loud as he jumps off the counter, packing away the leftovers.

Summer Break 2021

It’s early in the morning as Jungkook walks closer to the water, the Ibiza wind hitting him in the face and waking him up. He’s been vacationing for all of last week, he has been laughing, hanging out with friends, having a good time, he’s truly been feeling a lot better.

Laying on the beach, he soaks in the morning sunlight, taking a few deep breaths before he starts talking.

“Today would've been our one year anniversary” he sighs as he flops back into the sand, just wanting to lay down for a while. There’s silence for a while as the sentence feels heavy in his heart, just the waves crashing and his heart thumping.

“We wouldn’t be in Ibiza, we’d be closer to the mountains, somewhere cold and cozy” there’s a faint smile on his face as he imagines an alternate universe, where the two of you are still together.

“You would have given me some amazing, handmade gift, like a cute photo book that journals our first year together. I would’ve gotten you some jewellery, probably that bracelet you were eying in Brazil” he remembers the exact bracelet he’s talking about, it’s kind of pathetic that he does.

“But in this shitty version of the universe, you’re probably enjoying your time at university and I get to go to some other club tonight and make small talk with a woman I’m not even remotely interested in”  Jungkook is bitter and angry thinking about what could have been.

“This was for the best, right?” he asks himself as he picks up his phone, saving this voice note with today’s date.

Race 17 2021

“Phillip took me out to dinner because he’s worried about me, he thinks the car issues and lack of winning is starting to get to me” he sighs as he pours himself another drink.

“It is starting to get to me, I’m so scared and anxious about my future it keeps me up at night. Of course it’s already starting to get to me given the panic attack I had during the last strategy meeting” Jungkook looks back at the difficult few months, it’s truly been challenging.

“He told me about going through something similar last year, and to not let the disappointment and temporary failure swallow me” Jungkook sighs for what feels like the millionth time tonight as he downs his drink in one go.

“Phillip told me to talk to him or anyone about my fears, verbalising my fears to someone I trust might help me. Phillip said that he told you the same after your accident, how the fear of a dwindling future paralysed you” hearing your name at dinner was not something he expected, every few months he’d start to forget about you and one thing and the rush of memories come back to him.

“You’re the only one I can think of when it comes to talking about my fears,” Jungkook says as he slides down the sofa and sits on the floor.

“I wish I could call you ___” he shuts his eyes tight as your name rolls off his tongue. His phone keeps recording as he switches on the tv to dissociate for a while. 

Race 22 2021

“So, I didn’t win the championship. Wasn’t even in the top three but that’s the least of my concerns right now” there’s actual joy in Jungkook’s voice as he tussles around in his hotel bed, balancing his phone in his other hand.

“I just got to the episode when Jim interrupts Pam’s talking head to ask her out, and WOW!! The way the biggest smile appears on her face, and how her eyes light up, jesus fucking christ!” he squeals as he sits up in his bed, he might be a little too invested.

"Jim giving up on a promotion for love, peak of romance” Jungkook can’t help but smile, as he thinks back to the scene he’s seen multiple times now.

“After the crapfest of the year I’ve had, I wish I had the willpower to fight Ferrari last year. I can’t believe it’s been a year since we broke up” having spent all these important momentous dates with you, Jungkook can’t help but think back to them a year later.

“Sometimes I can’t believe just how easily you complied with me breaking us up, how you didn’t fight for us, at all” there’s bitterness in his heart about this, he knows it’s irrational but it’s there.

“Something you said sits heavy in my heart, ‘between the two of us, I’m the only one who’s had to give up on a dream without having a say in it’ and that’s just not true anymore” Jungkook remembers every word you said that evening exactly, he just can’t seem to forget them, or you.

“You may have given up on your dream of figure skating, but I gave up on my dream of a future with you”  

Phillip’s Birthday 2022

“I haven’t done this in a while,” Jungkook speaks into his phone as he watches the night sky from the balcony. It had been five months since he had recorded a voice memo instead of calling you, he was starting to forget you.

“I knew I was going to see you today, but, um, I still wasn’t prepared to see you” Jungkook left the party early, he’d had enough of you and your very charming, british boyfriend.

“Christian and you look like you stepped out a romcom, with the perfect met cute story” he laughs genuinely as he thinks back at your chatty boyfriend, so different from you.

“I’m kinda glad seeing how well you’re doing. University, perfect relationship, I really am glad” he repeats in attempts to comfort himself. Taking a good look in the mirror, he has the urge to tug off the sweater he hasn’t worn in ages. The sweater he wore just so you’d notice.

That night, he finally packs up all the things he associated with you, the sweaters, perfumes, diary, books you left around his apartment, you’ve moved on, so should he.

Amsterdam 2023

Jungkook rewatches Phillip’s instagram story for the tenth time today, and there’s a smile on his face everytime he does. It’s a video with a caption that reads, ‘Birthday girl returns to the rink’. A ten second clip of you skating on ice with the biggest smile on your face brings him an amount of joy he hasn’t felt in years.

As you twirl on ice, your hands come into focus and Jungkook notices the ring on your index finger. On the previous watches he might have been a little too distracted by the smile on your face to notice you wearing the birthday gift he gave you. He knows you don’t wear it all the time anymore,because it was missing on Phillip’s birthday less than a year ago.

“Happy 23rd ___” Jungkook talks into his phone as he takes in the prettiest sunset in Amsterdam.

“Today is the first time I’m recording a voice memo when I’m not feeling bitter and depressed” he chuckles out loud and shuts his eyes as the smile on his lips only grows.

“I spent your birthday exploring a vintage bookstore, I was celebrating you in spirit I guess” Jungkook was happy with how he spent his day, going through books for hours.

“I went out for lunch and just stumbled upon this place, it was a happy coincidence. I cancelled my plans for the day and spent it doing something you would love. And for the first time in a while, I thoroughly enjoyed doing something that wasn’t racing” all Jungkook had been doing the last year was work, work related activities and training, he had completely given up on his hobbies.

“You would love this place” Jungkook says wistfully as he looks at a bag full of books he just bought.

Race 2 2024

Jungkook looked at the discarded boxes in his new apartment, and he finally moved to a bigger and better place. The movers had unpacked and arranged everything for him, this place feels foreign and unfamiliar. Jungkook opens a few drawers and shelves before he finds the plates, the only set of plates he owns.

Jungkook presses the record button to record a voice memo, something he hasn’t done in the last six months.

“So, I moved to a bigger, better place. I can afford a ridiculously expensive apartment in Monaco because I’m a two time F1 world champion now!” he says with excitement as he eats the takeout food from the plates you bought him.

“But I still haven’t bought plates, the ones you bought are beautiful, with the blue specks of colours. My favourite colour, apparently” Jungkook says as he takes another bite of the mediocre chinese food.

“And the passcode to this place is still the same as my last one, mostly because I don’t want to remember a new set of numbers. Definitely not because I’m hoping for you to surprise me by breaking into my place” he laughs loudly as he thinks back to the time you let yourself in while he was live streaming, Jungkook really thought someone was breaking in and entering.

“I have a stupid logic for why I won last year's championship, other than the obvious skills and amazing car. I started wearing the chain you gave me, your good luck charm might be my good luck charm too” he smiles widely as his hands go up to touch the chain.

“If it really is a good luck charm, I’ll win this year too” Jungkook has high spirits for 2023, he has high spirits about his personal life too. He turns off the recording when a call notification from Ava pops on his phone.

Race 22 Abu Dhabi 2024

Jungkook is dazed and frustrated as he walks back to his hotel room instead of going back to the club, abandoning his girlfriend but he could care less right now. He hadn’t seen you in over two years, and a three minute conversation has left him feeling empty the same way it did four years ago.

Your voice is ringing in his head as he flops back in bed, how frustrated and bothered you were.

“I hate how broken you looked, how broken you sounded” he whispers another voice memo as he shuts his eyes.

“I didn’t just move on like we never happened, it still shocks me how just six months of us being together bothered me for two years. I DIDN’T MOVE ON FOR TWO FUCKING YEARS ___!” he shouts with frustration, wishing he had said this to you.

“I’VE MOVED ON” Jungkook shouts some more to convince himself.

There are some frustrated huffs until he stops recording, his mind is all over the place and your wide, tear filled eyes haunt him.

December 2024

“So, I broke up with Ava a week after I saw you,” Jungkook says, still sitting in his car. Something clicked after seeing you, he knew all this time that he didn’t really love Ava. You asking him if you did just made him realise that.

“I was using Ava as a distraction and I hate myself for it” he sighs, not really wanting to go back to his empty apartment.

“How can I not love Ava, she’s quite literally perfect for me but I can’t imagine a future with her, at all. Am I damaged? Not capable of loving someone again?” he wonders out loud, his frustration and disappointment growing as he thinks about the mess he is some more.

“Seeing you just reminded me of what loving someone felt like…I couldn’t even be completely honest and open with Ava” he whispers shamelessly.

“You told me about your very destructive tendencies in a relationship, how you cheated on Christian because you couldn’t bring yourself to break up with him, and it just made me realise I was doing the same to Ava” Jungkook talks to himself, he’s been doing a lot of this lately.

“I was hanging onto Ava because I desperately didn’t want to be by myself, I didn’t want to be alone. I hate being alone” he confesses and his eyes are getting a little misty as he thinks about his situation some more. 

That night Jungkook comes very close to actually calling you, he wants some warmth and comfort but he knows he doesn’t deserve any of that, especially from you.

Phillip and Maya’s wedding 2025

“I should have made some lame excuse about being busy or something, why do I do this to myself” Jungkook whines as he struggles with his tie, how does he not know how to tie a tie as a twenty five year old. He’s been pacing around in the hotel room, worried about ruining his chance of seeing you.

“I’m just going to apologise and shut this chapter, I need a fresh start and that can’t happen until I apologise to you and this is my only chance to because I need to be done with you” he frustratingly takes the tie off, wondering if he can rock the open button, casual look.

“I’m just worried that you’re not going to want to see me and then this whole evening is going to be awkward”  he says as he looks for a turtleneck, open shirt is just too casual.

“Is there a delusional idiot in me that thinks that tonight is going to lead to something more? Yes, but you could bring another charming date and shatter my unrealistic expectations” Jungkook is very frightened for a man who drives at 300 kmph every other weekend without any fear.

“I’m just going to ask for your help, this is nothing more than an ex asking another ex to help tie their tie” he chuckles dryly as he downs his drink, needing some liquid courage before he faces you. 

Summer Break 2025

“All I want to do is relax and eat tons of amazing food for the next week,” Jungkook says into his phone as he closes the door to his car.

“Then that’s what we’re going to do, but can you at least tell me where we’re going?” your voice booms on speaker and Jungkook smiles shyly, knowing the suspense is tormenting you. It has been a few weeks since Phillip’s wedding, and since the night he realised something, it’s always been you. It will always be you.

“Pack warm, that’s all I’m going to say right now” he giggles as you grumble on the other side.

“Kook, all my winter clothes are packed up, can you come over and help me get those boxes” you say and he laughs sarcastically.

“Is this just a ploy to get me to come over, if yes you have very bad game ___” he says and you’re the one laughing this time.

“You’re replaceable by a ladder Jeon, don’t get to cocky-” you’re interrupted by your apartment bell ringing.

“Too bad, I’m already here” he says as he’s still on call, you’re a little too elated as you swing the door open.

“Hey-” he’s shut up by your warm lips tugging on his as your arms come around him. Jungkook loses his balance for just a second before he holds you close and deepens the kiss. Jungkook doesn’t have to leave voice memos on his phone anymore, he doesn’t have to pretend to leave you messages. He’s glad he gets to call you, he’s glad he gets to hold you, he’s glad he’s given a second chance with you. 

Another Author's Note: Still working on an epilogue for this, comment under to be added to the taglist if you still aren't on it!!

Tag List: @blancflms @nadzzzblog @kookiewhtaee @jksoftiitii @oiseul @elisaaru @coralmusicblaze @tearyjjeonn @moonchild1 @jungkooksseuphoria @cookysstuff @ohyeahjk @bobakkoo @whoa-jo @kooromiwrld @littlelandalp @marvelover3000 (the last one didn't ask to be added to the taglist but i'm adding them anyway :))

[st4rshipr4nger]

I want to hear about your opinion on Umbrella Ben being Sparrow Ben if you don’t mind! Hope you are doing well honey :)

OKAY HELLO goodmorning i saw this earlier while i was making breakfast and almost burnt it LMAO

guys i love ben :( like my baby my baby i dont mind if the world spins faster..the musics louder and the waves crash harder?? 😿

ben isnt the exact same as he was in the first 2 timelines because he was raised different literally died had to watch his family as a ghost for 15 years yadayada but i love to be delusional and time travel is one of my favorite topics so i would loove to talk about this so that is what i will be doing !!

Ben was loved by his family, they say multiple times in the show that they stopped thinking everything was worth it after he died, as much as they're dysfunctional and not the greatest family they still are and it shows when you put them side by side in comparison to the sparrows, but back to Ben he always wanted to be with his family, he was protective over both his families in different ways because that's just who he is, you see him in the first 2 seasons yearning to be back with his siblings, following Klaus around and all that and yes while he absolutely is a little shit his love for his Umbrella family is so..filled with despair and pure love and its kind of lethargic to watch and witness?? It makes me feel so sick thinking about it because, you grow up with these people, and you die in some freak accident and your brother doesn't even tell the rest of your family that he can see you and interact with you for years!! And you follow them around for the rest of your afterlife, watching them make mistake after mistake and you can't do anything about it because you are just a spirit looming over them. They build you a statue and it fucking breaks because they can't get their shit together. You're stuck just outside their reach not being able to say anything to the people you miss so so much and you hold each other so dear to your heart and they don't even know you're there. "slay the darkness within you, find peace with the light" is engraved on his statue/grave and it breaks my heart??? Like what the fuck you guys. Ben was not some happy all the time little angel, he had his flaws just like his siblings and everyone else. He had so much trauma from literally having tentacles coming out of his stomach and he probably killed so many people on purpose or not. I don't like when people mischaracterize him in the way where they make him so..happy? because as much as I would want that he wasn't, Klaus literally describes him as "Dark rainy cloud on a bright sunny day" or something along the lines like I don't think a lot of people get it !!! He spent his whole afterlife just wanting his family, and was so protective over them in his own little way, he was too scared to move on to the light because he was scared he'd be alone and he'd rather be with his brothers and sister. You see him being mean to Klaus in the first 2 seasons and its so funny because it's like yeah he loves you but you are brothers and he's gonna bully the shit out of you and hurt your feelings, yeah you and your siblings were so close so when you possess one brother and go to another one because you finally have a grip, and something that you can use to connect with your siblings again even for a second.

Ben is a complex character just like the rest of his siblings, and you can see parallels between both Sparrow and Umbrella Ben in how he acts with his seperate families. He just wanted to be loved and seen by both of them and it is so gut wrenching. He is such a miserable character because he's longing and yearning just to be included, and be a part of his family. He has to prove himself in some way or another, he loves his siblings so much, all of them in all the timelines.

I thought of this theory that was lowkey self indulgent because I love time travel and paradoxes and all that in my heart and soul and my delusions Ben's love for the Umbrellas transcends through the timelines. No matter what variation of himself they are all so important to him. He was so so upset that he wasn't invited to the bachelor party because he finally has his family that doesn't care about place rankings, the numbers, the counts, any of that. They just care about him. And he can't handle that because Reginald raised the Sparrows and the Umbrellas so differently and Ben is right smack in the middle, torn in between the timelines. This isn't me being like "Oh he's like the EXACT same person like he has the same personality as other ben." Because oh definitely not. They have the same values and the same priorities for the most part but they definitely do not have the same personality as the other because Reginald raised them so differently. And I kind of believe that Reginald knew about Ben and realized how much of lost potential he was? So he raised him to be yknow the "greatest", number one. And then something goes wrong and he get's demoted to number two and yeah Sparrow Ben is definitely more...Stern? Aggressive?Not Aggressive but like I guess more aggravated I suppose because he was literally raised to be better than the umbrellas, he wasn't growing up knowing what it was like to be in such friendships with his siblings like he was before. And it really affected him. Yes, I think Umbrella Ben is still in there because Ben is genuinely a good person and I believe his love for his siblings ascends through the cosmos no matter what timelines, paradox, whatever.

I WENT SOOO OFFTOPIC SO MANY TIMES....

In conclusion because I need to stop before I make this like way too long but Ben is Ben and he just wanted to be loved by his family throughout everything. That's all he wanted since day one was to be with his family and to be seen and heard

[eddiemadmunson]

I am here for you

This is a little Aemond drabble I wrote for my dear friend @hamatoanne​​ because she is sick these days 😔 Get better soon bestie, and I hope you will like it 💕

Paring: Modern Aemond x reader Word account: 1500 Warning: none, it’s a fluff A/N: English is not my 1st language

“Omg, who is it?” you thought to yourself as you slowly walked to the front door. Someone was frantically ringing your doorbell. “I am coming,” you tried to yell, but you barely whispered because your throat hurt like hell. “I love to hear this sentence from your lips, kitten,” Aemond chuckled behind the front door and you blushed. Your boyfriend always made comments like this, loving the way how your cheeks turned pink afterwards. “Please take your finger from the door bell, my head hurts,” you said and he immediately stopped. “I am sorry baby, I tried to call you for 2 hours but you didn’t pick up your phone and I got worried. I called your mum and she told me that you are sick. Are you OK, kitten?”  “I feel like shit, Aemond,” you whined. “Open the door, Y/N,” he demanded. “No, you will be sick too, and I don’t want it. Trust me, my love. I feel horrible. I don’t want to pass this misery on you.” “My immune system is amazing, kitten. Don’t worry, I am a big guy, I can handle being sick, but as I said, I am never sick, just let me in, I hate the idea of you sitting alone in your house and feeling miserable”. You sighed and opened the door for him. He was right, you missed him, and you felt so sad and tired. You wanted his warm embrace. “Oh, my poor little bunny, come here,” he wrapped his big strong arms around your figure. You snuggled against him, enjoying his warmth.  “I look like shit,” you sniffed, suddenly realizing how you look. Your eyes were teary and slightly red, your nose red and sore from all the sneezing and blowing - you could easily make it as Santa’s reindeer Rudolph. Aemond gently kissed your lips and you were very aware that your lips are really chapped. But Aemond wasn’t complaining, he was looking at you like you are the most beautiful woman in Universe. “Don’t look at me, I look terrible,” you buried your head into his chest and he slowly lifted your chin and made you look into his blue eye. “You look beautiful as always, my love. You just don’t feel well. But in my eyes, you are the most beautiful woman in this world. So stop talking like this. Let’s take you back to your bed, my love, you need to rest,” he lifted you into his arms and walked inside your bedroom, gently placing you on your bed. “Do you want to watch movie or something on Netflix, kitten?” he asked as he lied next to you, cuddling you closer to his broad chest. “No, my head hurts and my eyes are sore, please tell me some stories from your work,” you pleaded. Aemond worked as a vet for exotic animals and his stories were always interesting. He told you a story about that one time he was almost eaten by a crocodile. He was laughing like it was nothing, but you were terrified that he could easily lost one of his limbs or die. “OK, baby girl, I will tell you a story about cute little lion cub I inspected this morning,” he smiled and kissed the top of your head. “But first I should make a strong tea with citruses, ginger and honey for you. I saw a perfect recipe on TikTok,” he said and froze. “What did you say? Did you say TikTok?” you laughed. Aemond was always mocking you for using this app, saying that it’s ridiculous and pointless. “No, I said on Youtube,” he tried to save the situation. “Liar,” you burst out laughing. “OK, fine. Aegon created an account under my name and forced me to watch few videos. I have to admit that I became addicted,” he finally admitted and you started giggling. Unfortunately your giggles soon turned into a fit of coughing. “I see that you really need that tea, my love,” Aemond watched you with worry. “I don’t have any ingredients here, Aemond,” you said but he replied that he will take care of it. You were cuddling and talking for a while and you felt much better when you had him next to you. Aemond always made your day better with his presence. “I will stay with you until you get better,” he announced and you looked at him in panic. “But what about your clinic and your patients,” you protested but he placed his finger on your lips to hush you. “Don’t worry, I already called Lucerys, he will take care of everything, he is capable to run the clinic for few days alone,” he assured you and you raised your eyebrow. He was usually very skeptic about his nephew's abilities. “Stop worrying about my job, love. You are sick and I will be here for you,” he kissed you slowly and shortly, knowing that you have problems with breathing now. “I love you Aemond, so much,” you snuggled closer to him. “Awww, you two are so sweet that it makes my teeth hurt,” you heard from the doorstep and you screamed. “What the fuck, Aegon. What are you doing here? How did you get inside?” you gasped, your heart pounding in your chest. “Relax, Y/N. Aemond texted me, that you need some vitamins,” he winked at you. “And you gave me your spare key last summer when you asked me to water your plants when you had been on vacation with Aemond,” he explained. “You still have it?” you asked him in disbelief. “Of course, we are almost family,” he enjoyed your outraged expression. “Leave the supplies and the key on the table and leave, brother!” Aemond warned him and Aegon raised his hands defensively. “Don’t worry, I am leaving. I won’t stay here in this lair off sickness. There will be so many Christmas parties filed with alcohol and willing pussies, I can’t be sick,” he chuckled and left you two alone. “He is unbelievable,” you scoffed and started coughing again. “Yes, he is and I am going to make that tea for you, kitten,” Aemond softly kissed the top of your head and left for the kitchen. You fell asleep for a while and when you opened your eyes he was there, his arms wrapped around your much smaller frame.  “How do you feel, my love?” he asked you and gently brushed a lock of your hair of your face. “I feel good when you are with me,” you mumbled, your voice changed with the sickness. “Liar,” he brushed his fingers across your face. “Here, try this tea, that girl on the video swore, that you will feel better after drinking it,” he handed you the cup and watched your reaction closely. You took a small sip and it surprisingly tasted really good. “It’s delicious, Aemond. Thank you, babe,” you slowly drank the rest of the tea and felt the warmth and sweetness running inside your body. When you finished it you placed your head on Aemond’s chest, your eyes slowly closing again. “I feel so tired, I am sorry to be such a boring company tonight,” you apologized and he scoffed. “Don’t be silly,  I love spending time in your company. You don’t have to talk or entertain me. Your presence alone is a blessing,” he assured you and you felt the happy tears in your eyes. Aemond kept you close to him, his hand was making soothing circles on your back and you slowly fell asleep. 

************************************************************************************** Aemond took care of you for 3 days, making you hot tea, feeding you chicken noodle soup his mother Alicent sent to you, using Aegon again as a messenger. You two were watching movies together, Aemond read you stories from his favorite books, and he told you so many funny stories about his work and his family, that your tummy hurt from all the laughing. You slowly got better and on Saturday morning you felt almost all right. Aemond made love to you, asking you thousand times, if you are alright or if you are not too tired. When you assured him that you are more than OK, your love making turned more passionate but he refused to fuck you hard like you both liked it, because you were still recovering. The patience of this man will be the death of you one day. Aemond was right, he didn’t get sick even after spending the whole time next to you. But Alicent called him on Sunday morning, telling him than Aegon is lying in his bed sick, acting like a moodiest brat on Earth. You decided to avoid Aegon until Christmas dinner with Aemond’s family, because you could imagine how pissed off he must be for getting sick.