#DAMMIT I'M SO OFF I FORGOT THE ASK TAGS-

[axewchao]

Hiii, I dunno if you remember me but you inspired me on DA to create my Koopa Sona, Koopa-Kit.

I redesigned her so she fits more of her personality and not just Bowser Jr. inspired

Kit is more burly, actively aggressive and bites back to hostility if you show it first, very much passive if you respect her.

I saw a headcanon about Koopas adoring their manes like Dwarvens admiring their beards. I gave her horns only covered by her mane.

You inspired me a lot to continue just making my goofy OC + Canon stories and I just wanted to share how much you really made me revisit that past I was bullied into forgetting.

Thanks Axew :)

First there was excitement, now let there be tears QwQ

It took me a second (and a quick check through my dA favorites), but I do indeed remember you! Your sona's gotten quite the upgrade if I may be so bold! I took one look at this sketch and thought "I can't wait to see her colored in :3c"

Such is the feeling I get with most, if not all sketches I come across, but the point still stands!

Just keep having fun and being goofy, chief! ^w^)b

[bridgertonbabe]

Bridgerton Spouses Support Group Chat #?

BSSG Group Chat

Kate: Guys can I ask you all a question?

Michael: Shoot.

Kate: Did you all go paintballing without me last week?

Message seen by everyone ✔✔

Kate: Ok it's been 24 hours since my last message and I know for a fact you've ALL seen it so what fucking gives?

Gareth: look if i send a cute video of george and you guys all flood the chat with comments and stuff then hopefully we can drown her out and lowkey gaslight her into forgetting all about it

Kate: What?!

Gareth: oh fu

Gareth sent a video

Michael: Awwwwwwwwww bless he's so adorable

Lucy: he has the cutest laugh!!! 🥰

Sophie: I can't believe he's getting so big already! 💗💗

Phillip: Cute x

Penelope: omg I love the onesie do you know where it's from?

Simon: See I told you he'd love the crawling crab.

Gareth: @ Penelope i'll ask hy

Gareth: @ Simon he can't get enough of it, it's his favourite thing atm

Kate: @ Penelope Well I got it from Bambino

Kate: And I fucking saw the message you obviously sent to the wrong GC @ Gareth , so you can all quit trying to GASLIGHT me!

Kate: Now I'll ask you again; did you or did you not all go paintballing without me?!

Simon: Ok fine we did.

Kate: AHA! I KNEW IT!

Penelope: How did you find out?

Kate: Greg asked me if I enjoyed the spouses paintballing afternoon when he came to pick Katie up yesterday.

Gareth: omfg wtf @ Lucy

Michael: Yeah rare L from you Lulu

Lucy: guys I'm sorry I forgot to take the wristband off before I got home and he instantly recognised where it was from so I had to fess up

Gareth: dammit you've jeopardised our entire set up

Lucy: no no no it's fine I swear! I know some of you guys don't have any trust in your partners but greg can keep a secret and respect our spouse group privacy! it won't get back to any of the other bridgertons, you've got to believe me!

Phillip: He literally blabbed to Kate.

Lucy: yes but only because I didn't tell him that she wasn't invited!

Kate: And why was I not invited?!

Sophie: Because you would have ruined it! You would have turned a fun afternoon into anything but just like you do with every other game and activity we've played before! You're just as bad as the Bridgertons when it comes to anything vaguely competitive and the rest of us just wanted some lighthearted fun without everything descending into chaos and the world burning around us, ok? And that is why we didn't invite you!

Phillip: Yep

Simon: Very that.

Kate: Wow.

Michael: Look Kate you've got to understand it's not you. It's just the psychopathic competitive Mr Hyde in you that scares the bajeebus out of us.

Penelope: yeah it really isn't personal

Gareth: except it is

Kate: For god's sake I'm not that bad! Sure I have my moments but that doesn't mean I should be excluded from your group activities! I can control myself! I've never done anything to cross the line enough to be compared to Mr Hyde for crying out loud!

Sophie: You accused me of faking going into labour with Alex and refused to call me an ambulance when we played Cluedo.

Simon: You keyed my car after Daph pissed you off in Monopoly.

Michael: And you threw Newton's poo on mine when I won charades.

Phillip: You've always mocked me for having panic attacks during game nights.

Penelope: You pushed Colin down the stairs.

Lucy:

Kate: Oh boo fricking hoo! I'm so sorry you're all a bunch of whiny oversensitive little babies who can't take the slightest bit of heat from some perfectly healthy competition!

Gareth:

Lucy: is the perfectly healthy competition in the room with us?

Phillip: I dread to think what you consider to be unhealthy competition.

Kate: Oh go have one of your little anxiety attacks about it then you weakling

Michael has removed Kate from the chat

Sophie: I would say I'm surprised she can stoop to a new low but I'm really not.

Lucy: and this is why I also don't regret not inviting her to laser tag or the escape room

[vorish-wonderland]

Cater wants to get THE perfect shot for his Magicam. You know how to help him, and Cater decides to listen to your strange advice.

Includes: soft/safe vore, willing prey

★✦The Perfect Shot✦★

☆ﾟ⁠.⁠*⁠･⁠｡ﾟ☆ﾟ⁠.⁠*⁠･⁠｡ﾟ☆ﾟ⁠.⁠*⁠･⁠｡ﾟ☆ﾟ⁠.⁠*⁠･⁠｡ﾟ☆ﾟ⁠.⁠*⁠･⁠｡ﾟ

"I mean... I guess it's worth a shot!" Cater said, after you told him that a great idea for a selfie would be him smiling with you in his mouth.

Cater picked you up, and brought you up to his face.

"But you're sure you wanna do this, (Y/N)?" He asked. "I mean, we don't know how this'll go down."

"It's gonna be fine, Cater! And you'll get a ton of likes, I assure you!!" You gave him a thumbs up.

Cater opened his mouth, and gently placed you in there.

You adjusted yourself so you were comfortably lying on your back, and giving a peace sign to the audience.

Cater took a few moments to get his phone at the right angle, and then-

Click!

Cater took a few more pictures at a few different angles.

While he captioned the post and wrote out the hashtags and tagged you in the post... he ended up swallowing you, forgetting you were in there.

"...(Y/N) was still in there, weren't they." Cater said to himself. "Dammit."

You knew for a fact Cater would make sure you're safe, so you weren't too worried about being a bit deeper inside of him than you'd expected.

When you arrived at Cater's stomach, your phone vibrated in in your back pocket.

Your phone was so bright compared to how dark the inside of Cater was, it hurt your eyes a bit.

Cray-Cray♦Cay-Cay!!: lol sorry (Y/N) 😅 Cray-Cray♦Cay-Cay!!: completely forgot u were in my mouth, my bad!

ShrimpleAsThat: no worries Cater

Cater sent you a picture of himself in front of a mirror, with a red arrow pointing at his stomach edited over the photo.

Cray-Cray♦Cay-Cay!!: hard to believe ur in there Cray-Cray♦Cay-Cay!!: it does feel kinda nice Cray-Cray♦Cay-Cay!!: I'm obv gonna get u outta there but like Cray-Cray♦Cay-Cay!!: it feels REALLY good

You considered your current situation.

On one hand, you're inside Cater's stomach, which comes with a LOT of potential danger... but on the other hand, you know Cater won't let you get hurt...

And, you know, the constant moving and massaging via peristalsis felt nice...

Your decision has been made.

ShrimpleAsThat: hey, no rush ShrimpleAsThat: I'm all comfy cozy in here lol ShrimpleAsThat: so enjoy this for as long as you want, I sure will~

Cray-Cray♦Cay-Cay!!: oh, sick ^^ Cray-Cray♦Cay-Cay!!: just let me know when u want out, k? Cray-Cray♦Cay-Cay!!: in the meantime, u just enjoy urself in there~

You turned off your phone, and prepared yourself for a peaceful afternoon.

[melshome]

paint splattered teardrops - chapter 3

cw negative thoughts about body, angst, fluff, body shaming, bullying, slowburn??, harassment, abuse characters scaramouche, other characters mentioned a/n im not sure how many chapters there will be of this fanfic series!! i'll probably just end it when i would like to ;) i hope you all enjoy your weekend!! i am sorry about uploading chapter 3 quite late!!! i didnt have motivation to work on it for a bit. (●'◡'●)

EDIT: HOLY I FORGOT ABOUT TAGS SORRY SORRY @local-mr-frog @moonbyunniee

"Bye bye big sister!!" Teucer waves. She gives an awkward smile, before quickly walking away from the house. Childe and Teucer goes back inside. Teucer goes off to his room, and Childe goes back to Kunikuzushi.

"Scara.."

"God dammit, I know I know! Relax, let me explain you stupid ginger," he sits up from laying down on the bed. "BIG BROTHER IS KISSING BIG SISTER!" Teucer shouts. Kunikuzushi looks at Teucer, and back at Y/N, who was thankfully still sleeping.

"Teucer, what the hell," Kunikuzushi stands up, storming up to Teucer, who's giggling.

"You like big sister, don't you? She's a good person, I like her too!" Teucer says, heading down the stairs.

Kunikuzushi stands there, staring angrily at Teucer, who's heading down the stairs.

"Don't worry, you can have her. I'm not selfish!!" Teucer shouts. "I wasn't even kissing her, so why don't you stop cackling down on the ground?" Kunikuzushi stands up, kicking Childe. It's been about 2 months. Kunikuzushi and Childe sometimes has seen Y/N around the school. Childe either walks up to Y/N and strikes a conversation with her. Kunikuzushi has no choice but to make sure Childe isn't saying weird stuff that makes Y/N uncomfortable. He's noticed Y/N is a bit wary around Kunikuzushi. But he's used to it.

Childe has asked Y/N if she wants to come over, but she said she'll "think about it". Childe knows it's a no if she says that. But.. Childe had an idea, from Teucer talking about her most of the time.

"Teucer would love to see you again. He's been non-stop talking about you.." Childe sighs.

"Oh.. Alright then."

"Oh so, you'll say yes if it's about Teucer?" Kunikuzushi mutters.

Y/N smirks, opening her bento box. "Maybe~"

Childe places his hand on his chest, pretending to be hurt. "Y/N.. I am.. greatly.. hurt.." He acts like he's in pain, slowly falling to the ground. Kunikuzushi grins, placing his foot on Childe.

"Hey, get your foot off me, Scara-" Childe struggles to get up.

Y/N frowns, glancing from Kunikuzushi and Childe. She bursts out laughing, covering her mouth with her free hand. Kunikuzushi and Childe both stare at her, and then makes eye contact with each other. They continue this, until Kunikuzushi takes off his foot off Childe.

"I need to eat my lunch," Kunikuzushi takes out a packed onigiri.

"Is that all your lunch?" Y/N asks, having a small frown on her face.

"Yeah I guess?" Kunikuzushi unwraps it, and takes a bite. He looks up, and sees Y/N staring at her lunchbox. She seems to be hesitating.

"What's up Y/N?" Childe rests on the tree behind them. Using her chopsticks, grabs a piece of sticky sesame chicken, and offers it to Kunikuzushi.

He stares at it, and back at her, with a confused look on his face.

"Eat it. Eating an onigiri, isn't enough for lunch.." She tries to have eye contact with him, and she loses, and ends up staring at her hand, holding the chopsticks. Kunikuzushi notices this, and takes the chicken, trying not to let his mouth touch the chopsticks. (Not because of Y/N, he just doesn't want any germs on her chopsticks)

She goes back to eating her lunch, with Kunikuzushi secretly enjoying her chicken, and Childe assessing the situation. Wow.. If this isn't love.. then what is? "BIG SISSTERR!" Teucer runs up to you, jumping onto you. You catch him, hugging him.

"Teucer! Are you that excited to me?" you smile, glad that someone is happy to see you.

He giggles, still clinging onto you. "You're a good big sister! Big bro mouchie lov-" Kunikuzushi arrives just in time, covering Teucer's mouth.

"Teucer, why don't you go to your room, and play with the robot big sister bought you!" Childe claps his hands, gently getting Teucer off you. You chuckle as you watch him jump up the stairs, talking about the gift you bought him.

You decided to get him the latest robot collection from the same brand that he loves. His room is decorated with robots, but specifically "xxx", quite the popular robot brand.

"Haha, sorry about him, Y/N. He was too excited when I told him you're coming tonight.." Childe smiles. You give him a smile back, saying, "don't worry about it. I'm happy to see him that excited to see me."

You notice Kunikuzushi staring at you. "Hi Kunikuzushi. I totally didn't forgot you were going to be here today.." you scratch your cheek, awkwardly smiling. He scoffs, but you know it's a sarcastic one.

The three of you stay in the living room, asking each other some things, to get to know each other more. First it was just simple questions, such as, "what are your hobbies?" or "favourite food?"

Then it started to get a bit more.. not exactly personal, but questions close friends would know. Suddenly, Childe asked a question.. well, one were you were hoping neither of them would ask.

"Why do you paint?"

Kunikuzushi looks up from his nintendo for a second, glancing at you, before slowly going back to his game. Childe has no clue. But you have no choice but to lie. I don't.. I can't tell them. At least.. not yet..

"I enjoy painting," you smile.

What a lie.. Kunikuzushi stretches, placing his nintendo on his lap.

"Can we eat now or something?"

"Oh yeah sure," Childe says, not even saying anything about your response. Kunikuzushi grabs his nintendo back in his hands, as Childe leaves the living room. You fiddles with your fingers, pushing a nail into the palm of your finger. Ugh.. Why did he even ask?

You don't know, but Kunikuzushi notices this. He shoves his nintendo switch onto your lap. You look up quickly, staring in confusion at Kunikuzushi.

"What? I'm bored of the game. Do whatever you want with it," Kunikuzushi stands up and leaves the room, leaving you to be confused. The dinner Childe and Teucer has prepared was quite good, Kunikuzushi had to admit. He kept on eye on Y/N through the dinner, glancing at her a few times, but sometimes he'd even get lost into her eyes, as she talked with Childe, laughed with Teucer. She notices his stares, but says nothing about it, just carries on.

"Are you going to apply for the xxxx art competition?" Childe asks, bringing in a plate of chocolate mousse.

Kunikuzushi serves some of the mousse to Teucer first, before serving himself. He waits for Y/n answer.

"Yep."

"You don't sound that excited?" Childe sits down, and serves.

"Oh haha, I don't? Well, I am excited, don't worry," she takes the bowl Childe gives her. He nods his head, digging into his bowl.

The rest of the dinner is silent, except for Teucer and Y/N conversation. After the dinner, the four of them play a board game, something easy for Teucer. Kunikuzushi notices that Y/N is much more louder than she usually is, such as her laughs, and commands.

"You.. Teucer...NOW GO TO JAIL!" She cackles, placing his token into the jail area. Teucer rolls around on the floor, screaming and giggling in frustration.

"NOOOO!"

"Big brother Kuni, save me pleasee!" Teucer lunges at Kunikuzushi, hugging him. He struggles to get Teucer off, shouting at him to get off. Y/N can't help but burst out laughing, trying to calm herself down. Childe chuckles at Kunikuzushi and Teucer, who seem to be wrestling. "Thank you so much for inviting me today, Childe.." you give a small bow. Teucer is holding onto Childe's pants, yawning.

"Haha, you should go before it starts raining," Childe winks at you. You smile, before turning and leaving. You open the gate, and close it again after you're through. Teucer says goodbye to you, and Childe waves at you. You start walking, your pace getting quicker and quicker.

Stop stop stop.. You cover your eyes, pressing your palm into your eyes, still walking. Childe's question kept on replaying into your head, and you were afraid you were going to let it all out while you were there.

Drip... Drip drip drip..

You look up to the sky, and feels the cool rain drops fall onto your face. You chuckle in relief, and you let your eyes drown yourself, with the rain. The rain is cooling down the burning feeling of the tears streaming down your face, so it's fine. Everything is fine.

"Everything is fine Y/N.. Just.. stay strong!" You smile, trying not to wipe your eyes, as you found out, by wiping or itching your eyes while crying, will make them red.

You do not want your sister to find out.

You continue walking, taking out your phone. Oh shoot, 5%. You go onto phone, and calls your sister.

"Y/N? Where the hell are you? I thought you said you'd come back by 11. It's literally 1am??" her voice is raised, and she's screaming at you.

You chuckle nervously, trying to explain it to your sister. "Aimee, I'm sorry about that. We were just playing some board games, and I lost track of time," you pray that she doesn't think of anything else. You really did just lose track of time.

You hear her sigh. "Fine, but quickly come back. Niwa is here, and he won't be happy if you interrupt our movie time," Aimee cuts the call. You put your phone away after staring at the black screen.

"Dammit.." You sigh, shaking your head. What on earth am I thinking? Why would Childe or Kunikuzushi find out anyways? You continue walking, staring a few steps away at the ground, before bumping into something. Or someone.

You look up, and sees their familiar purple hair. "Kunikuzushi? I thought you left to go home?" You say, taking a step back.

He turns around, and is a bit surprised when he sees you. "What are you doing here?-" You look at your house, and back at him.

"I live here."

He's clearly surprised. "You do?"

"Then.. do you know.. someone called.. Niwa?"

"Niwa? Yeah, he's my sister's boyfriend."

He sighs, tightening his grip on the umbrella handle. "Do you.. know Niwa?"

"He's my..." Kunikuzushi turns to the side, flustered. "He's my.."

"Boyfriend?"

"NO! He's my brother, you idiot!" Kunikuzushi turns back to you, before covering his mouth when he realizes what he said.

"Wow, Niwa is your brother..?" You think of Niwa's sweet, and talk active personality, compared to Kunikuzushi cold one. You nod slowly, processing this.

"He's not my real brother. Just letting you know," Kunikuzushi looks up and down at you, realizing you're soaked. "Why don't you have an umbrella?"

"I forgot one.. haha," you walk to your gate, and unlocks it. "You could've asked for one from Childe," Kunikuzushi follows you to the front door.

"I didn't want to be a bother," you turn your bag around, and search through it to find the keys. Kunikuzushi grabs your shoulders, and turns you, so you're facing him. He has a look on his face, which reminds you of someone..

"Y/N, don't say that. You won't be bother, never. So if you need anything, just ask Childe or me," Kunikuzushi says, the look on his face not changing once. You feel your eyes watering again, but you're glad you're soaking wet. The front door opens, and standing there is Niwa, smiling and about to say something, but he sees Kunikuzushi and you, having this special moment.

"Ooh-" He slowly closes the front door.

Kunikuzushi lets go of your shoulders, groaning. "Ugh. Now that stupid idiot is going to tease us about this, for the rest of the week.." He closes his umbrella.

You smile, chuckling. "I don't mind at all."

[heedmywarnings]

God!reader who can't take anything serious Part Thirteen

Hoping my future career as an author don't flop

[1]

The icy arrow pierced through your chest, and much to the audience and Ganyu's dismay... golden blood splattered from your chest, "What the fuck?" You say, Zhongli managed to catch you before you fall and anybody who dared tried to get close to you was quickly shunned away by Xiao, including Ganyu.

"Dammit! Bring them to a healer!" Xiao angrily screamed, Zhongli excused the fact that his own son yelled at him. You were at the risk of dying afterall.

Everything blurred, and it all went black.

When you awoke, your chest was thickly wrapped with layers of bandages, "Ah, ah, ah, don't try to get up yet, dear" a voice so familiar echoes from behind you, you saw Baizhu at the doorframe smiling at you.

"Uhh, I got shot right?" You said, you were confused by Ganyu's sudden actions, and trust me, so did everyone else. "Correct" he said.

"I'm glad I don't have to heal your little wounded ankle like last time, but this time is a bit more serious, don't you think?" Baizhu said, approaching you before he sat on the foot of the bed. "Like.. last time?" You said, your mind was confused... what did he mean by last time?

Blood leaked from the stitch

"Oh don't tell me you've forgotten" Baizhu muttered with a fake pout, you seriously don't know what this man is on right now...

[2]

"Is that.... fucking La Signora? Didn't she die?" You thought to yourself, the silhouette was but a figment of your imagination sadly, "Is there something bothering you, your grace?" Childe asked, to which you shaked your head "no."

Blood leaked from the stitch

"So this is the revered god of Teyvat? Tsk.. looks weak" Columbina said, venom in her voice as she went to you, looked you right in the eye until her face was up and personal to yours.

I tried.

"Now, now little dove... play nice" Pulcinella scolded.

So stuff happens.

"We can't let our grace walk around Teyvat when there's pyscho archons trying to capture them!" Arlecchino practically yelled, "Then I propose I be their bodyguard" Pierro's deep voice bellowed in the room, "Nobody voted for you dickhead" Childe said, rolling his eyes at his stupid decision.

But everyone else seemed to agree and it's majority votes so- Childe reluctantly let go off you lmao.

Somewhere far far away in Sumeru.

Alhaitham feels a disturbance, an uneasy feeling he cannot shake off.

Blood leaks from the stitch...

Taglist:

@sheepispink

@magica-ren

@kiraisastay

@overthebox

@shizunxie

@feralturron

@iruiji

There was a dude who wanna get tagged but I forgot to tag him and I'm lazy af to go find his @, so whoever you are pls comment or anybody who wants to be in the taglist!

[a-guy-named-e]

I posted 444 times in 2022

That's 444 more posts than 2021!

56 posts created (13%)

388 posts reblogged (87%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@greatinternetllama

@s-e-v-e-n-24

@a-welcome-to-the-table-sideblog

@hibiscuslynx

@coderfortourette

I tagged 419 of my posts in 2022

Only 6% of my posts had no tags

#wttt - 338 posts

#wttsh - 338 posts

#deja queue - 326 posts

#e rambles - 16 posts

#ask game - 12 posts

#welcome to the table - 7 posts

#welcome to the statehouse - 7 posts

#screaming - 3 posts

#i love them - 3 posts

#sobbing - 3 posts

Longest Tag: 125 characters

#gov is the communal younger sibling and all of the other states are the big brother saying ''no one makes fun of him but me''

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

See the full post

27 notes - Posted August 9, 2022

#4

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply Category: Gen Fandoms: Welcome To The Table - Ben Brainard (Web Series), Welcome To The Statehouse (Web Series) Characters: DC | Gov (Welcome To The Table), Michigan (Welcome To The Table), Ohio (Welcome To The Table), Pennsylvania (Welcome To The Table), West Virginia (Welcome To The Table), Tennessee (Welcome To The Table), California (Welcome To The Table), Texas (Welcome To The Table), Massachusetts (Welcome To The Table), Minnesota (Welcome To The Table), Florida (Welcome To The Table), Utah (Welcome To The Table)South Carolina (Welcome To The Table) Additional Tags: Non-Chronological, Flashbacks, Slice of Life, Domestic Fluff, Brief Discussions of Humanity, Vignettes

Summary:

Gov is sure that he is human. All of them are, in some way or another. But not everyone can see eye-to-eye about that.

29 notes - Posted August 7, 2022

#3

my hand slipped

62 notes - Posted November 21, 2022

#2

the states as weird things my directors have said

alabama: you have so much school spirit i almost forgot you don't know how football works

alaska: why can't you all shut the hell up every once in a while

arizona: you're the only person i'll let complain at this point. i don't think you're right, but i do think it's funny.

arkansas: you're still here? i thought you graduated. leave already, dammit.

california: i thought i was ready for the pronoun question but clearly i was not.

colorado: i don't know why he hangs out with you, all you do is smoke weed! [turns to me] you haven't started smoking weed have you?

connecticut: i will pay you seven dollars if you can get the tenors to stop giving me stupid nicknames.

delaware: yes. i know you were the first to reset. that's because you don't move.

georgia: do you know where the disembodied cougar head is? no? well then i don't know what to tell you.

florida: i never thought i'd have to say this but please do not pick up any more squirrels.

hawai'i: your disregard for authority is only funny when it's [band director], not when it's me.

idaho: i don't care what you call it, i want to know why you were arranging a marriage on the back of the bus.

illinois: i need you to do me a favor and make sure [friend] never wears that packers jersey again because next time i might strangle him.

indiana: why is it so hard for you to march slides? just turn and look at the damn cornfield!

iowa: alumni, i appreciate you coming out to watch, but please do not turn our rehearsal into a field of dreams moment.

kansas: if you make one more comment about the scenery i'm kicking you off the bus.

kentucky: you were a horse girl in a past life, weren't you?

louisiana: i know you can't dance worth shit but i need you to play like you're trying to convince someone that you can.

maine: i can't tell if you're agreeing with me or just acknowledging me but i like being agreed with so i'm going with that.

maryland: i don't trust anyone whose only experience with crab is imitation crab meat

massachusetts: i'm not technically allowed to swear around you but that was fucking terrible.

michigan: so are you just emotionally invested in awful sports teams or what?

minnesota: i know this is the midwest but can someone please bring anything other than a casserole to the pitch-in?

mississippi: i don't care who was talking, i'm telling all of you to shut up so i know i get the right one.

missouri: i know dark humor is in and all but i feel obligated to tell you that i'm a mandated reporter, so can you please make your jokes about jumping off the arch where i can't hear them?

montana: no, you may not run laps in the enchanted forest.

nebraska: it's almost the 4th, right? okay, if you can play three notes better this rep i'll run to the cornfield and check if it's knee-high for you guys.

nevada: oh my god you did not just start a poker game.

new hampshire: i don't care that it's 101°, i'm not allowed to let you be shirtless.

See the full post

76 notes - Posted October 11, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

idk if anyone else has gif-ed it but i think this clip is criminally underrated. why do his little finger guns make me lose it every time.

103 notes - Posted August 3, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[ji-yaaan]

Jessamine-rose asked:

Ohh hiiii!! I really loved your leona fic, it was so soft!! X3 may i request idia and jamil seeing their short mc wearing their hoodies?? Headcanon or one-shot whatwver you are more comfortable with!! I would like to request a but of spice as well if you dont mind.

𝐖𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐇𝐨𝐨𝐝𝐢𝐞𝐬♡

Headcanons with: Idia, Jamil, Kalim, Jack

Note: Yo this idea is so cute I'm melting as I write this- this scenario is just wholesome and I won't forgive myself if I sully this wholesomeness... Oh but Jamil however- ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Oh btw I added in some characters I can imagine with this secnario lol. Ok on to the headcanons!

And yes... I reposted this cuz tumblr hates me and won't let me use the tags... I don't stay up til 5am for nothing bro-

°•°•°•°•°•𝑰𝒅𝒊𝒂 𝑺𝒉𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒅•°•°•°•°•

After 8 rounds of Mario kart Idia destroying you 8 times lol cuddled up in the blankets as the both of you crush your consoles attempting to win a round.

It's getting pretty late, but game time is holy for the both of you, so both of you gotta make time to schedule the most awaited activity of the day! GAME TIME~

But after a long day of brain damage at school *cough braincell squad cough* anyone is bound to get exhausted. Taking a break from the game, Idia takes off his jacket and nyooms away to the kitchen to get some chips and soda for you two.

"Potato chips? check~ Soda? check~" Idia smiles as he excitedly makes his way into his room to crush you at the game again.

Oh my what's this? He found a rare treasure lying in his room!!! Quick! What does he do now??? OH MY GOD! You were sleeping... BUT YOU WERE WEARING HIS HOODIE! What is this cuteness? What is this ultra uwu energy? What is this fluff doing here? That's it! Idia has now died of uwu. Respawn later...

While Idia was holding his bags of chips and cola, he can't help but blush at how cute you were! You looks sooooo smol in his jacket- congrats you stole Idia's heart.♡♡♡

I'd say Idia's greatest weakness is cute stuff and small things. So you looking so smol in his jackets is just going to give him heart combulsions.

Idia will probably crouch in the floor to stare at your sleeping face. He'd sit right next to you and stare at you for a while. "Hehe..." Linking his arms with yours as he playfully pokes your cheeks.

He'd rest his head on your shoulder still blushy wushy cuz you're just sooo adorbs♡ "Games can wait for tommorow.."

•°•°•°•°•°•𝑱𝒂𝒎𝒊𝒍 𝑽𝒊𝒑𝒆𝒓•°•°•°•°•°

Like the usual, the Scarabia dorms is up for a party 24/7 because of the happy go lucky kalim. Jamil is still pissed like the usual too...

While kalim was performing his thing entertaining the guest... A wild Jamil appeared! Care to send love??? Jamil makes his way to you, so he can finally chill and recharge from chaos with a powerhug. But as he was just inches away from from you... Dammit someone just have to ruin his moment.

"WAHHHH! Y/N! OH NO I'M SO SORRY!" Some idiots just have to ruin his time with you... Drinks spilt in your top, leaking wet from the juice that spilt on you.

Jamil will just sigh and volunteer to take care of another problem yet again, just like the usual. BUT! Before he takes care of those stuff PRIORITY FIRST! You need to be taken care of first ;>

Jamil will drag you in an empty room to change... now all thats left is to change in clean and dry clothes- Wait....Wow just the luck you both have... No one got spare clothes... what now?

Of course Jamil will offer his hoodie! He can't have you walking around uncomfortable in damp clothing!

When you walk out of the room... Cute... What is this cute creature? Since you are small and short, Jamil's hoodie is oversized on you. The sleeves go way past your fingers, and the big jacket makes you look even smaller in general.

Jamil's having a lowkey midlife crisis inside his head, but gotta keep looking chill and cool, so he just settles with a pinch on the cheek.

HOWEVER! When you go back to the party in the banquet halls. Everyone seeing you will comment how tinier you look like in a big hoodie. Everyone is just going ballistic with the smol and cute comments. Jamil is not happy about this.

As people are making cute comments about you. You'll just blush and freeze on the spot. BUT JAMIL HOWEVER... SNEK BOI IS BURNING WITH RAGE AND JEALOUSY... I mean... That's his hoodie you were wearing. Are they blind? Should he hypnotize people to do stupid things later?

After the party... Oho ಠ ͜ʖ ಠ with Jamil going jealous a little while ago... He'll hug you tighter this time, his chin resting in your head. "Don't look cute in front of other people... I'm the only one you're allowed to look cute for."

Expect markings here and there in the morning... Take this sentence however you like...

•°•°•°•°•𝑲𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒎 𝑨𝒍 𝑨𝒔𝒊𝒎•°•°•°•°•

Midnight trip in the clouds with your local sunshine boi! Riding the magic carpet with kalim is one of the most magical experience! Moonbathing with the stars WHILE YOU SIT BESIDE A LITERAL STAR LIKE KALIM TOO! as kalim cheerfully tells fun stories while laughing.

But of course the night today was kinda chilly and cold but you forgot to bring your sweater with you... Dammit it was really cold today. But somehow seeing kalim smile warms you up! I can't blame you though-.

When a really cold wind blew past the two of you... THAT'S IT! IT WAS REALLY COLD TODAY! You shivered while you held unto your arms and shoulders in attempts to keep yourself warm.

Of course Kalim notices this and offers his cardigan in uwu style! "Oh? Y/n are you cold? Oh! If you want, you can use my cardigan! Hehe..." Kalim brightly smiles like the usual. A blinding smile to keep the sleep paralysis demons away.

Frankly, Kalim is not that big, but his jacket still drooped on you which was very cute in Kalim's eyes!

"Y/n you look so small~ how cute!!" Kalim just casually blurts out, no embarrassment or whatsoever...

Of course it's a bit embarrassing for you at first, but Kalim's too pure and innocent for this world, so it's mainly just rainbows and sunshine being with him.

While the both of you are up in the air, maybe he'll offer a hug too if you're still cold. ಠ ͜ʖ ಠ it wouldn't be a sin to decline right?

•°•°•°•°•°•𝑱𝒂𝒄𝒌 𝑯𝒐𝒘𝒍•°•°•°•°•°•

As the both of you are walking home, casually strolling in the roads that leads to the ramshackle dorm, this night was especially chilly.

The cold breeze was not cooperating this time as it continues to blow past the two of you. "Brrrr" this was cold... this was really cold... It was stupid not to bring your jacket with you when it's autumn near winter...

Jack was not blind to not see you shivering from the cold! Because jack is a good boye, he'll lend you his Jacket!!!

Seeing you look so smol in his jacket just melts his heart away. It literally looks like a blanket on you with how big it was. I MEAN THIS BOY IS LITERALLY WHOOPING 192CM TALL! GIVE ME UR HEIGHT

He'll just stare at you for minutes while you take walks, if you look close enough, you see his tail wagging and his ear perking up... Maybe a little blush too if you really look close ಠ◡ಠ

But a jacket can only do so much... Even if it was big and warm, your hands were somehow still cold seeing as you rub them every few minutes...

Good boye Jack offers to hold your hands!!! Would you like to accept this kind offer? ∆Yes ✓Yes!

When Jack holds your hands, JACK WAS A HEATER ALL ALONG? Big warm hands.... How comfortable... ;v;

Maybe along the way, he'll put your tiny hands in his pocket too... Who knows... But what you know is that you don't want to go home yet. Can the both of you extend this hand holding session?

Bruh...... tumblr won’t let me use the tags and properly post this... sigh.......

That's about it! I added Kalim and Jack to quench my thirst! And indulge in personal interests Again.. thankz for the request! And I hope you enjoyed this! ಠωಠ sending love before you read the next post under this♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡ 

[tinyboxxtink]

"Caught In The Storm" *Part 2*

Y'all thought I was kidding when I said I was pumped for this story; you just read how long this chapter is.

IT'S POURING OUT. I JUST WANT YOU TO GET WHERE I AM ALREADY.

It's so good guys. Like, SO GOOD.

Okay I'm sorry proceed.

Tag List:

@chasingeverybreakingwave

@wanniiieeee

@milkshqke

@gibbs274

@lolliepopsicle

@aprildecker-blog

@objection-argumentative

@word-scribbless

If you missed part 1: Here!

Part 3 Here!

-----

The next day the SVU squad was having one of their "murder board" meetings when you came storming into the station.

"Well I hope you're happy!!" You looked right at Fin.

"Audition didn't go well, cannoli?" Sonny asked you using his pet name for you.

"No Sonny, it DID NOT," You huffed. "I walked in there and I blew my audition," You circled Fin’s desk. "And I don't mean I forgot the lyrics, or I hit a bad note. No no, ohhhh no," You finally stood in front of him and crossed your arms.

"Halfway through the song I broke down SOBBING. I had a complete mental breakdown, because all I could think was that I had the worst moment of my entire life in that room!!!"

"Hey you can't blame us for your mistakes," Fin retorted.

"I don't blame them, I blame you!" You gestured to the rest of your “family” and then to him.

"Excuse you?" Fin sat up straighter.

"You didn't have to say anything Fin, you really didn't," You sighed.

"What?"

"You could have waited to have your fucking temper tantrum until after my audition,"

"Excuse me no--"

"She has a point" Olivia interjected.

"You too?" Fin took offense.

"Fin she was leaving, it wasn't like she was going to try and jump Rafael's bones right there," She went on. The whole room shivered at the thought of you “jumping” anybody’s bones.

"Look, I don't love it either but you can't help your feelings. And she just has a little crush on him, you can't fault her for that,"

You scoffed in offense.

"You're not helping, sweets," Olivia warned.

"Right…"

"Anyway you could have waited to have it out, is all I’m saying,” Olivia nodded at you with a smile. You mouthed a “thank you”.

"Oh we haven't begun to have it out," Fin huffed.

"Save it" You put a hand up before he started to stand up and get in your face for a fight.

"I already know what you're going to say; he's too old for me, we're a 'family' and he's supposed to be my 'uncle' or 'brother' or some other creepy thing, and we have nothing in common. But we do!"

"You barely know him, Y/N," Nick chimed in.

"I know him better than any of you!" You cried defensively.

"What?" Sonny looked at everyone confused, but they were just as lost as he was.

"That summer….when I was working with him. We got... close," You muttered the ending.

"I fucking knew it, you did bang him begin my back…" Fin growled.

"It wasn't like that! It's not like that, da--FIN," You actually did usually call him dad or daddy, but since he had been trying to use his dominance you persisted to remind him he wasn't actually your father.

"So what, now you two are in love?" Fin rolled his eyes.

"No! He didn't... we've never….it's never gone there, and I don't even know how he feels," You looked down as you talked. But then, you remembered why you were there in the first place and you raised your head up with eyes of fire.

“And it wouldn't matter anyway because it's none of your business.” You snapped.

“It is absolutely my business Y/N he’s my co-worker, he’s ALL of our co-workers, this affects ALL of us,”

“I knew it,” You scoffed, tears coming to your eyes.

“What?”

“I knew you’d blow up, and freak out, and not even ATTEMPT to open your mind or hear what I have to say, it’s just about you and what makes you okay,” You backed away from all of them.

“So I came here willing to say that I’m done,” You raised your hands.

“What do you mean you’re ‘done’?” Fin crossed his arms.

“With you,” You replied straight faced, willing tears not to fall right now. “Olivia’s right, I can’t help the way I feel, and BELIEVE me I have tried, daddy,” You resorted to your old name for a punch in the gut.

“Y’know whenever Sonny and Nick started, I had ‘crushes’ on them too,” You nodded at the two, who quickly looked uncomfortable picturing you that way.

“But those quickly went away, and I accepted them as my uncles, or whatnot,” You continued. “I have done that since I was in Jr. High, come here and meet my new ‘family’. I’ve always felt maternal or paternal vibes from everyone here, Uncle Brian, Grandpa Kragen and Munch, Uncle Stabler who can rot in hell…” You gave Olivia a sad look.

“But it’s ALWAYS been familial love! And the day I met Rafael, something was different,” You couldn’t help the tears choking your throat. “And I have never, EVER no matter HOW hard I have tried, felt anything like I feel about the rest of you. It’s just....different,”

“And now, you all know. And I know that you don’t like it, or it makes you uneasy, or blah blah blah,” You made blah gestures with your hands.

“But I can’t go back to pretending that it doesn’t kill me every time that I see him, and I’m not going to pretend like I’m okay with dad being-- this,” You gestured to Fin who shifted uncomfortably.

“So, I’m not going to come around here, for a while,” You said sadly.

“We didn’t do anything, cannoli! We’re your family too,” Sonny protested.

“Yeah I know, I just--”

“Look, Y/N before anybody does ANYTHING, you need to go talk to Rafael,”

“What?

“WHAT?!”

Both you and Fin exclaimed at the same time.

“Look I’m not thrilled with the idea of...that, but the bottom line none of this arguing means anything if he doesn’t feel the same way. So I’m saying before you start going off and making threats to US, go talk to him first. Without anybody else’s input,”

“Yeah, alright,” You shrugged and left before anyone else could argue.

--------

You walked into Rafael’s office quietly, not really sure how to start the conversation. He was writing a deposition silently so you knocked on the door to get his attention. He looked up at you with a small smile.

“Hey you,” He got up and walked around his desk as you shut the door behind you. “I was worried about you,” He put his hands on both of your shoulders.

“I know,” You gave him a small smile back. “But you’re right we do need to talk about last night,”

“Yeah, I--” He looked away nervously.

“I already went to my da---Fin, and the squad about this,” You bit your lip.

“....About what?” He was now concerned.

“Us,” You looked at him with a small smile.

“I’m sorry, there’s an ‘us’ now?” Rafael half laughed.

“Well that’s what I’m saying, Rafael!” You bit your lip. “Look after all the fighting and what not, what it boils down to is how you and I feel,”

“.....What are you saying?” Rafael asked, backing away from you.

“I’m asking,” You step forward and took both of his hands and looked at him seriously.

“For you to forget about Fin, or the squad, or an age gap, or all the million other things that are ‘against’ us,” You took a deep breath and asked the hardest question you’ve ever asked anyone:

“I’m asking you...do you love me?”

“Of course I love you Y/N, you’re like a--” Rafael immediately responded, moving away from you and gesturing wildly.

“Do NOT say daughter,” You cut him off. “Or sister, or niece, or cousin. You know that’s not what I’m asking,” You grabbed him and made him look at you again.

“Do you want to be with me?”

“I...it’s complicated,” He broke from your hold and paced his office.

“No I’d say it’s pretty damn simple-- do you feel about me the way I feel about you?” You asked him again.

“I just...I don’t want to become between you and Fin, he’s basically your--”

“He’s NOT my father!” You yelled.

“But he’s the closest thing you have!” Rafael argued, putting his hands over his face and taking a deep sigh.

“Christ almighty, Y/N. I don’t...I don’t want this to be a whole ‘thing’, I don’t want to upset Olivia, or the other squad members, I just...want us to go back to normal,” He gave you a sad look as he sank into his chair behind his desk.

“....Yeah well, normal is not an option, Rafael. And you STILL have not answered my question,” You circled his desk to be closer to him again.

“What question?”

“Dammit, Rafa!” You threw up your hands, then took both of your hands and put them on either side of the chair preventing him from evading you again.

“Look me in the eyes right now, and tell me you’re not in love with me,”

A very long pause began, as the two of you just stared at each other. You were searching his green eyes for a hint, a tell of what he was thinking, but he kept himself very guarded. You hated it.

“...No, I’m not,” He said in the tiniest voice as he looked down at the floor.

“You’re lying,” You pulled back with a sarcastic laugh, tears choking your throat yet again.

“Oh so just because I didn’t say what you wanted me to, I’m lying? For fuck’s sake grow up, Y/N,” Rafael spat at you coldly, turning back to his desk in an attempt to resume working.

“Fine, you know what? Fine. That’s great. You believe whatever you wanna believe Rafael, but things are NOT going back to normal,” You shook your head, trying to be cold and direct but failing as tears fell from your eyes.

“Y/N….” He felt his heart breaking, he hated to see you cry.

“No,” You stopped him. “We’re done. I don’t ever want to see you again. Not here, not at the station, not at the fucking Starbucks down my street!” Your voice raised as more tears fell.

“Y/N, please don’t do this…” Rafael began to panic, realizing what you were saying. He leapt up from his chair and tried grabbing your hands but you pushed him away.

“Don’t call me, don’t text me. Just...leave me hell alone,” And with that you turned on your heels and stormed out of his office, now full on sobbing down the hall.

Unbeknownst to you, Rafael let out an angry scream, running over to his desk and flinging papers everywhere, then proceeded to sink back into his chair behind his desk and cried ever so silently in his office.

-----

It had been about a week since your whole fallout with your “family” and Barba and you weren't doing great.

Then one day you got a phone call from an unknown number.

“Hello?”

“Hey Y/N, this is Sandy from the supper club?” You immediately stopped walking when you heard her voice.

“Oh yes how are you?”

“Great, I was wondering if you could come back in and audition for us again?”

“Are you serious? I know I’m going to regret asking but, what made you change your mind?”

“Well your friend Kelsey called and told us that the day you came in and auditioned, your dog had just died that morning. But you didn't want to stand us up so you came anyway. And to be honest with you, all of the other auditions have kind of sucked so we'd like to give you another try.”

“Oh my God thank you, thank you, thank you so much!!!”

“Great so we'll see you tonight at 8:00?”

“Absolutely,”

You hung up the phone and immediately called Kelsey.

“Hello?”

“I love you so much I love you I love you I love you!”

“Oh so they called did they?”

“YES. I cannot believe that you would do that for me,”

“Well I figured you needed a win right now. Since you know you lost your family, and everybody who actually cares about you,”

“....Wow,”

“ You know what I mean! I mean you still have me, and Kenny obviously,”

“....Right. ANYWAY, the audition is tonight so….”

“Yes?”

“Will you play for me?”

“Let me see if I can free up my busy schedule,”

“Ha, Ha,”

“Oh look I’m free! I'll be there after work. Love you bye”

----

*That Night*

You walked into the Supper Club with a brand new outfit and a nervous smile. You noticed Kelsey was already at the piano, waving at you with a huge smile and a thumbs up.

“Hey Sandy, Hey Kyle…” You shook hands with the owners. “Thank you so much again for this chance,

“Girl we should be thanking you, you should’ve seen the ‘talent’ that has stunk up this stage all week!” Kyle laughed.

“So are you ready?” Sandy asked you.

“Yeah, I think I’m good,” You took a deep breath and smiled at her. She nodded at you while you took your spot on stage once again.

You closed your eyes and blocked out everything and everyone out of your mind, except for your song. It was just you, and the stage. This is what mattered.

-----

“....Good to you,” You finished the last line with a breathy note, your eyes still closed. You had kept them shut the entire time just so you wouldn’t look out into the house and just see the horrified looks of your family's faces burned into your brain.

“That was beautiful!!” Sandy clapped her hands. “Do you think you could come back tomorrow night and do that again?”

“Like for a second audition?” You asked hopefully.

“Like as a job,” She grinned back.

“Really?!”

“Yes really! That was enchanting darling, really,” Kyle placed a hand on your shoulder.

“Thank you, thank you so much!” You nodded for Kelsey to come over as Sandy and Kyle walked away.

“I got the job,” You beamed.

“YOU GOT THE JOB!!!!” She squealed, causing people to stare. You shook your head and lead her out of the club back onto the street.

“Oh my god, Oh my GOD! I’m going to sing to a packed club, night after night after night! Oh my god, I have to call Dad---” Your celebrating tone quickly died when you realized the only people you’d wanna call about this weren’t...there.

“...You can call Kenny,”

“Kenny!” You smiled. “Yes I’ll call Kenny!”

“Hey girl what’s up?”

“I got the job,”

“Wha---at the Supper Club?”

“YES!!!!!!”

“Oh my god you GOT THE JOB!!!” *she got the job!*

You heard him speak to a muffled voice in the background.

“Kenny…”

“Yeah babe what’s up?”

“Who are you with right now?”

“...Alejandro,”

“Oh, Alex! I haven’t seen him in forever, put him on the phone,”

“He uh-- he has food in his mouth,”

“Boy why you lying, tell her she needs to--”

You heard Fin's voice.

“KENNETH,”

“...Yeah?”

“Don’t tell him that! He doesn’t get to know that!”

“Y/N, can’t we just stop all of this--”

“NO. And if you tell him to come tomorrow night I will kill you,”

You hung the phone and noticed Kelsey giving you a look.

“What?” You raised an eyebrow.

“You didn’t have to tell him you were singing tomorrow, you could’ve just texted him so Fin wouldn’t hear,” She smiled mischievously at you. “You want him thereeee,”

"...Maybe," You bit your lip. "Do you think he'll come?"

"I bet they ALL come, baby girl," She winked.

You wondered if she was right. If you'd see Rafael tomorrow, after all this time.

------

“I can’t believe she--” Kenneth stared at the phone, then to Fin.

“Dad, you have to go to her show tomorrow night,”

“Kenny she literally just said she’d kill you--”

“Yeah but dad, we both know her,” He looked at Fin with earnest eyes. “She might be mad at you right now, but she’ll want you there when her dream is coming true,” Fin’s eyes lit up as he finished speaking.

“AND the rest of the squad,” He quickly added, making Fin sigh.

“Yeah,” He agreed.

“AND Barba,”

“...Yeah alright Ken I get it, okay? Finish your food before it gets cold,”

-----

The next day Fin went to see Barba at his office. He knocked softly then entered to see Barba talking with Olivia.

“Detective,” Barba nodded. “Didn’t expect you here, was Olivia not working fast enough?” He teased Liv with a smile.

“Actually I’m glad you’re both here. I need to tell the rest of the guys but-- I wanted to come here first,”

“That sounds ominous, Fin,”

“Actually it’s not,” He shook his head. “Y/N got that job she...auditioned for, a few weeks ago,” He muttered awkwardly not looking Barba in the face.

“Wha--Seriously? How? When?!” Olivia began asking questions rapid fire.

“....Why did you come to tell me this, Fin? You didn’t know Olivia was here,”

“Look, Barba,” Fin sighed, running his hand back across his head. “I don’t-- I don’t need to know the specifics of how close you and my daug---Y/N, are,”

“Oh Fin look I haven’t--”

“Yeah, I figured. She’s iced us all out for a while now,” He chuckled sadly. If he taught you anything, it was how to stand your ground.

“But Kenny said, that as mad as she is we need to be there tomorrow night when she goes on,” He continued. “All of us,”

“Tomorrow?” Barba’s eyes perked up. “Tomorrow night, you want me to go see Y/N?”

“ALL of us,” He emphasized. “But, yeah,”

“Sounds good,” He replied as nonchalant as he could, trying to hide his excitement. He missed you so badly, it scared him how much it hurt not to have you in his life on a daily basis.

“Uh huh,” Fin chuckled, nodding to Olivia. “I’ll see you back at the station,”

“Actually I was on my way out, I’ll see you tomorrow night Rafa,” She winked at him.

As soon as they left his office, Rafael did a fist pump in the air like a kid. He was going to see you, after so long.

He couldn’t wait. He just hoped you couldn’t either.

[batwritings]

OKAY OKAY OKAY SO GETTING TAG TEAMED BY LIKE DREAM AND SAPNAP? THIS MAY HAVE BEEN DISCUSSED BEFORE YES, BUT I STILL LIKE THE CONCEPT OKSY?! LIKE-

JEALOUS DREAM LISTENING IN (OH SHIT I FORGOT IF YOU WERE OKAY WITH SLIGHT VOYEURISM SO THAT'S UP NEXT) ON SAPNAP ABSOLUTELY DESTROYING YOUR GUTS!!?

AND HE'S TOUCHING HIS COCK TO THE THOUGHT OF HIM IN YOU, JUST BUYING HIMSELF SO DEEP. MAKING YOU CRY OUT FROM HIM INSTEAD. SO LOST IN THOUGHT DOESN'T EVEN REALISE THAT THE SOUNDS HAVE STOPPED UNTIL HE HEARS SAPPY SAY 'u wanna join, or you just gonna stand there with your cock out'

AWOOGA

HOW YOU DOING BAT? I HOPE WELL. I'M STUCK AT MY MOM'S RN SO THERE'S THAT GOD DAMMIT. UTS LIKE 90 DEGREES SO I'M GONNA GO CRY.

On a more positive note, I have a pit bull now. His names Distress.

-💍

First off, yes I'm okay with voyeurism but please check first next time before sending an ask ^^;

Second, YES HOLY FUCK. And to just be tag teamed with Sapnap playfully teasing Dream about "wow dude you must've been pretty desperate to stand outside our door and watch us fuck" just makes Dre plow you all the more hard.

I'm doing okay! I've been better but I'll live. I hope you're also well and that you get a fan my gosh!

DOG POG!!!! AND MOST SPECIFICALLY, PITTIE POG!!!! WHAT A BEAN!!!

[everyhowlmarksthedead]

PLAY SMART

Che “Taza” Romero x Reader

Word count: 3.1k

Thanks to my lovely beta reader @chibsytelford 💘

Author comments: Another crazy idea. I hope you all enjoy. Gif isn't mine, credits to the author.

Tag list: @starrynite7114 ​ @chibsytelford ​ @dazzledamazon ​ @mara-mpou ​ @sammskellington ​ @gemini0410 ​ @1-800-imagines ​ @briana-mishell24 ​@sassymox @whyisgmora @aquamento @sadeyesgf @viviansafizada @samcrobae @jade770 @witchy-wish @rebel-without-cause-x @arveeee ✨ (if you wanna be tagged, send me a message!)

Adjusting the green shirt to your chest, you go out of the clubhouse followed by Creeper drinking a coffee on a cardboard cup. You’re walking faster with your gaze on the front, directly to the car scrapping. It supposed that you should start in one hour, but if you arrive earlier, you can also leave earlier. You don’t want to see Taza after what happened last day, when his ex-wife came to the workshop because her car was having problems with the engine. She talked you as if you were a servant, or something like that, so you couldn't shut up and spoke to her in a sarcastic tone that she didn't like. Of course, she told Taza. At first, you didn’t care, until you saw how they said goodbye, with so much love and affection. Gilly told you that they have been married for almost fifteen years and that she was back to town indefinitely. It was like a shoot straight to your heart.

You aren’t nothing, but for the last months there has been a flirt environment installed between both, always pulling and loosening. But with his ex-wife in Santo Padre and by the way she had of touching him constantly, you know that what you wanted so bad it’s not going to happen. So you’re trying to not match with him. And that hurts. The only thing you can do it’s work and go home. No Mayans parties, no more nights at the clubhouse and no more rides back home on Taza’s bike. You can’t fight with a woman who knows him since ever and who was married with him for too many years. You didn’t know that something like that could happen, he didn’t talk you about her and it seems like it was a surprise for him too.

“Dammit, mama, you look like shet’”. Angel’s confused voice pushes you back to reality, making you shake your head for an instant.

“I didn’t sleep last night”. You shrug your shoulders and arms.

Messed bump, eye bags, no makeup and the shoelaces untied. You sigh after having a look of yourself, leaning down to tie them. The sun seems to disappear, raising your gaze surprised till you find your boss’ eyes, crossing his arms over his chest covered by leather. You swallow quietly, licking your inner lip before continuing with your task. 

“Everything ok?” You ask playing fool, hiding your nervous voice for a while.

“I don’ know, everything ok?”

“Yea’, I just… start earlier ‘cause I need to go to Santa Madre”.

“Sure. Why you didn’t come to the ranch last night?”

“Last night? What hap— Oh! Oh!”

Taza raises both eyebrows, while you still playing the innocent one palming your forehead.

“Shit, I forgot the Mayan dinner...” Clicking your tongue, you snort heavy.

“Let me tell you something, (Y/N)”. Facing you with hardly two inches between both, he leans above your ear provoking you some chills. “Soy un perro muy viejo, para que un cachorro me intente engañar”. (I'm a very old dog, and a puppy can't lie to me”.

“I forgot it”. You insist. “I was tired and I fell asleep on the sofa”.

“Look at your face”. The man says without changing his position. “Not everything is what it seems”.

“Ok, boss. I get it”. 

Taza doesn't say anything else, hitting his shoulder against yours to pass you away. Rubbing it you turn to the oldest rolling your eyes. Creeper and Angel are staring at you, trying to understand what is happening, but you don't wanna talk about it. Work and go home, that's all you want. The Reyes, putting an arm on your shoulders, shake his head disappointed 'cause he's starting to know what's going on having all the clues on the table.

Going upstairs to the office, you hug Chuckie as soon as you see him, asking for the hours signature quadrant. Your turn is already finished and completed and you also have the afternoon free, so you could rest the time you didn't last night thinking about the things that it's not going to happen, driving you crazy. Leaving the car scrapping' shirt in your hanger, you grab the helmet next to your bag, ready to leave. 

And she's there again. You can see her from the top of the stairs, hugging your boss and kissing his cheek as you used to do it. You're going downstairs slow, concentrated on not looking like you're jealous. Yes, you two were nothing, but you feel some kind of things that you would like not to feel right now. Taking off your phone of the pocket, you dissemble when he catches you looking at them, walking towards your motorbike to put the helmet on. 

“Wait a second”. You hear some meters away, while your sitting on your bike. “Eh, (Y/N)!”

You want to make that you didn't listen his call, but it would be too evident, so Taza waits for you to reversing and stop again. 

“I'm sorry for the hit”.

“Yeah, it was rude”.

“Are you hurry?”

“Yeah, a little”.

“When will you back at home, ah?”

“I don't kn... Why it feels like I'm talking to my father?”

“Because you're so fuckin' annoyin'”.

“Great, thanks. Another bullshit, Taza?”

“You know what? Fuck off”.

“Yeah, pretty one”. Rolling your eyes, containing the tears in them, you turn the engine to run away from the front yard.

Bishop texted you about four pm to tell you that Yuma and Stockton charters were coming to Santo Padre by night, so they're having a party and he needs you along with EZ to attend the bar. That's precisely what you were avoiding to do, be at the clubhouse more time than necessary. But guessing that you should work just for two or three hours accompanied doesn't seems a big trouble to deal with. So you're in.

Driving you car, 'cause it's gonna be easy to come back home after the party, you reach the car scrapping parking there so your Camaro will be safe in case that anyone decided to start a friendly fight. They usually do, for no reason. Last time, your motorbike suffered the consequences, even if they took care of the fixed. Walking betwixt a lot of crap mountains, your steps go straight to the green main door with mayans symbols finding the crowded yard. Stockton are already there, mixed with the Santo Padre' ones. EZ whistles you, claiming for your attention with that charming smile he always have on his face. You greet the guys raising your chin for a second, whilst going close to the prospect.

“Take the Jose Cuervo in the warehouse, I'm on my way for beers”.

“Okay”. You nod then, turning to the right and guiding your legs to the huge metallic structure by a side of the clubhouse. 

Grabbing the trolley at the entrance, you walk towards the end of the warehouse to leave it there, so you can place five boxes on it. Bishop calls to the door, even if it's opened asking you for come in without words. He walks in, closing it and resting his body against a shelving.

“You ok, kid?”

“Yea', just a bad night, prez”. You nod showing a soft and fleeting smile, presing the low rod of the trolley leaning to you and putting im by the two wheels.

“You didn' came to the dinner”.

“I'm sorry, I forgot it”.

“Did you?”

Leaving a sigh on air, you don't know what to say, pursing your lips as you place your gaze in nowhere.

“I saw you… kinda arguing with Taza this morning. Twice”.

“I—”.

“You know you can talk to me, rai'?” He sounds serious, crossing his arms.

“I just… made some illusions. The kind that fuck you down, when you realize that they're… just that. Illusions”.

“I know what you're talkin'bout. Play smart, kid. You're not stupid”.

Might be the best advice someone could give you, and you know you should. But sometimes, you can't simply do it. After leaving you there, you continue your walk to the clubhouse, going upstairs carefully with the tequila boxes. Opening the door with a push of your back, EZ notices you ready to help you. When everything is placed, the prospect offers you a shirt with the Mayans logo to change it for yours. Like somekind of uniform.

Once you're wearing it, you walk outside to receive the Yuma charter, hugging Canche as soon as he sees you.

“What's up, chamaca?”

“Not much, just another party working, not enjoying”.

“When you finish, make a place fo' me in your busy schedule. I need some help with my bike”. He says placing a hand on your shoulders, so you can follow him to his men to greet them too.

“Sure! I'll let you know when I'm done”.

A car coming calls your attention, turning under Canche's grip, to find the owner.

“What the hell…? Isn't that Taza's ex-wife?”

“Yep”.

“What she doin'ere?” The president asks you confused.

“Don' know. Ask her ex-husband”. You answer with a singing voice and both eyebrows raised.

“That bitch fucked him up”.

“Did she…?”

“Yea', I heard something 'bout a one-night-stand with a Vato. Oscar told us”.

“But they seems so close”.

“Taza is a good man, you know him”.

“Yea'...”

Pursing your lips at the man, you shrugs before start with your tasks of serve beers and tequila shot for everyone there, with EZ help. You can't help but thinking about that woman who came from nowhere with some kind of clear intentions, and now you're understanding was what Bishop trying to tell you. “Play smart”. So you will. Grabbing the coldest beers and putting them on a tray, you carry them to the first picnic table outside, where the main members of your charter are sitting. Leaving there, one for each one, you sit close to the Padrino who puts an arm around your waist.

“You look good in that shirt, kid”. He says proud, having a look from top to down. Since you started to work there, he has been the most gentle man on earth with you and it's something to be thankful for. “How's your week goin'? Didn' see you last night”.

“Tired week, need to rest, padrino”.

“You look like. Are they treating you good, or taking advantage that you're so helpful, ah?”

“To be that ‘helpful’ you have to show some respect first”. You hear that irritating feminine voice behind your back, before she appears in front of your eyes with a hand on Taza's left shoulder.

“Take off that Vato's dick of your mouth, before talking about my kid”. Padrino's voice is calm and peaceful, surprising you about it, and creating an uncomfortable silence on the table. 

You're fucking done. Done in a good mood, 'cause well, no one piss off padrino's kid. Palming his back, you get up of your seat to grab the tray and go back to work, as soon as Oscar claims your attention to ask for some beers. At least, now you know what happened, even if you're trying to figure what's she doing here. Not for you, but for Taza. Because she doesn't deserve someone like him, not after what she did. Double disloyalty. And that's screwing you more than you thought.

Even if it's something that it's in your head all the time, you make sure that doesn't influence in your work, letting it for later. And when you're already finished with it, leaving EZ with the rest, you go straight to Canche. As soon as you're done with him too, you can be close to Taza to make it up to him because of your paranoia. And so you do, sharing the same table with a beer in your hand. You don't know why his ex-wife continue there, but you don't care. Not anymore. Sitting in front of him, again by padrino's side and Bishop at the other, you try to get in the conversation. Easy task 'cause they're talking about a travel coming soon, and they need your help to check the motorcycles before leaving.

“Okay, I can do it tomorrow evening. Just leave me the keys at the office”. You say then supporting both forearms on the table, nodding for a while. “So, gas, oil and pressure… Yeah, it's fast to do'et”.

“Can you check my bike's direction? I think it's a little bit turned to the left”. Taza says then, and you know that's only a excuse to talk with you. Like, right now.

“Is it?” You hesitate, raising an eyebrow before having a sip of your drink, getting up of your bench.

“Yea', and the brake is a little hard. I think EZ squeezed too much”. He's getting up too, letting go the uncomfortable grip of his ex-wife.

“Okay, let's see”.

He walks next to you, offering you the keys so you can turn on his bike. Pressing softly the gas, to do the same with the brake. It's not. But seems like he wants to leave the yard, at least, for some minutes.

“I have the tools in my car”. You say then, turning of the engine to push the handlebar so you can make it moves. 

Going down the alley, with the Vicepresidente behind your back smoking a cigar, you reach the Camaro. You don't have any tools on it, but you really want to hear what he wants to tell you. So you simply leave the motorbike parked, next to your car, and resting your body sitting on it giving him the keys.

“She asked me to stay at the ranch”. He says then, keeping them inside one of his pockets. Sounds like you should reply something, but you'll not. It's his house, not yours. “I don' know what she doin'ere. But I don' even care”.

“Good for you, Taza”. You shrug with pursed lips.

“Let's be clear, kid. We're nothing”.

“Okay, I'm done with this bullshit”. You laugh loud getting up from his bike, and shaking your hands, trying to hide the bitterness and looking for the control remote of your car.

“Listen, listen”. Catching you by your left wrist, he stops your moves.

“It's fuckin' okay, Taza. You don' have to give me any explanation. I'm not your... fuckin' wife, nor your fuckin' girl. I get it. But let me tell you something. It's fucking grievous seeing a woman how fucked you up with a fuckin' Vato, trying to get back what she lost. And you, let her doin'et. You deserve good things, and you should love and respect yourself a little more”.

“Well, than'ya' for your kindly words. But I'm not letting her doin' nothen'. And I also talk her 'bout you”.

“Seems like she doesn' give a f— You did what?” Narrowing your eyes and letting you go, you cross your arms on the chest.

“We're nothing, but I would like to be something”. He clarifies you. “I asked her to leave and just came to pay what we fixed in her car. She stayed for a beer”.

“Yes, close of his ex-husband”.

“Focus on the fact I wan'to be with you, and not with her. Think about'e”.

Taza leaves you there, alone, carrying his bike when seems like you don't know what to reply at this words. Sitting on the hood of your car and lighting a cigar between your lips, you have a long smoke that rips your throat and also your tongue. You're somewhat jealous, you can't help but trying to see the point of playing smart to mark somekind of territory without looking like he's a piece of meat. But with that kind of women, it's all you can do. 

Putting well your shirt on, after throwing away the cigar, you walk towards the front yard with hands in your pockets. Some ideas are dancing in your head, trying to choose the best way to deal with it. But when you see her, sitting again by his side, and trying to hug him… Good lord, you can't help but losing your modals and your gentle mood. 

“Che, take me home”. You just say, stopping in front of the crew.

“Haven't you a car, ah?” She asks raising her chin somewhat proudly, grabbing the Vice's arm between hers.

“Haven't you a Vato's dick to suck, instead of annoying everyone around you?”

God, those words come from the depths of your soul. Making the guys chuckle as she gets up full of rage.

“Watch your mouth, niña. You don' know who I am”. Pointing your chest with a finger once and again.

“Yea', looks like I don' give a shit that I don' even know your name”. You face her, not afraid. “Southern border is close, come back to your hole, whore. You don' have anything to do here”.

“Did you ju—”.

“Shit, yes, I did”. You roll your eyes, being fast enough to avoid the slap straight to your face.

El padrino takes you back, as Bishop and Angel go to her before she can try it again.

“You heard her, go back to southern border”. Taza says placing himself between both, turning then to hold your forearm and leave the front yard.

You don't say anything into your way to his motorbike, putting on the helmet as he turns it on. Grabbing his waist with your hands, he runs out of the clubhouse. You know he's mad. You can feel the tension on his body, driving the road he knows by heart to your house, taking his time as he looks like he's thoughtful.

When he stations the bike in front of your house, so you can jump off of it, you keep his gaze.

“'You gonna leave?” You ask him a little bit nervous, taking off the helmet to supporting it against your abdomen.

“'Don' know. What you want?”

Hesitating for a second, you take a step closer placing a hand on his nape, to press your lips on his. It's the first time you two kiss, after some weeks wanting it. He pulls you away, thinking that you screwed it up, until you see him getting up to leave behind his back the motorbike. Cupping your cheeks on his huge hands, Taza kisses you again. Tangling your fingers in the flannel shirt to push him closer, your lips move alone on his. It's better than you could imagine, tasting the tequila in his saliva and beer in yours. A perfect mix. 

“So, are you gonna stay?” You almost beg between short and dearly kisses, finding yourself walking to your house, giving your back at it.

“Fuck, yes, baby”. He nods lifting you up, so you can surround his body with your legs.

[imo-chan-imagines]

『 Haikyuu!! Week 2020 | Day 2 』

· Sept. 26th → One Ball, Heart and Soul ·

Characters: Sawamura Daichi, Testurou Kuroo, Bokuto Koutarou, Ushijima Wakatoshi, Oikawa Tooru, Terushima Yuuji

Prompts: A. favourite position/role + B. travel/journey

Tags/warnings: Haikyuu!! (anime), PG, fluff, crack, headcanons, HaikyuuWeek2020

A/N: I found it so hard to pick a favourite position/role, because they're all so interesting and important, and I love everyone 😭 But I settled on the role of captain because of the headcanons I thought of. Captain Sqaud, assemble! So, want to find out what these boys are like on a road trip?

(Just to be clear, I do love all these guys. None of this is hate 😂) All my Haikyuu Week 2020 posts will be SFW, but I have some NSFW stuff on my blog, too. Feel free to check that out~ Thanks for reading! Please enjoy ♡ Imo~

☆ Sawamura Daichi ☆

Dad-chi™

Comes prepared with all the food, drinks, snacks, med kit, camera – literally everything you could possibly need on a road trip

Plans out the route beforehand down to the tiniest detail nothing gets past this man

As well as multiple backup routes in case there's diversions etc.

Plans for regular breaks at two-hour intervals where everyone can pee, stretch their legs, buy anything they need, etc.

He's the one who's driving he's not letting anybody else get a scratch on his van, lmao

And he's good at it

No speeding he's a cop, y'all but he doesn't dawdle either, no running red lights, turns corners well, keeps an even foot on the gas, etc.

Just a good time, tbh

Nobody is getting car sick because of him that would be a damn disgrace

"Stop fighting right now, or I'm turning this van around"

And will actually do it if you don't stfu, lmfao

Don't even think about making a mess and dropping your rubbish in the van you'll be walking home

Everyone else thinks his music is boring and for old people, but Daichi honestly doesn't care

Besides, it's either that or no music at all, because he needs to concentrate on the road

He takes this shit seriously. People's lives are in his hands, dammit!

☆ Testurou Kuroo ☆

Likes to switch between driving and riding shotgun/being designated navigator

Is fairly decent at both

Is constantly eating something but, like, he probably doesn't even know what it is

Some kind of edible is shoved towards his mouth by whoever's riding shotgun, and in it goes shut up. Not like that, you cretins 😂

Somehow manages to behave like an overbearing grandparent and an overexcited child at the same time?? Nothing new there, I guess 😂

I'm sorry, Kuroo, I love you. Please don't be mad 😭

Has a banging playlist full of throwback songs from the 90s and early 2000s

Drums along sofly on the steering wheel or dashboard constantly

HATES driving in rain he's low-key terrified he's going to aquaplane

Likes driving with the windows wound down and feeling the wind in his hair

Will plan the route, but then forget to save it/print it off, etc.

Cannot work Google Maps or SAT-NAVs to save his life Kenma, please help him

Actually packs properly balanced meals, but is heavy on the snacks, too

You'd think he'd drive too fast, but he's actually really responsible

Constantly telling dad jokes to try and keep people amused the groaners are the best

Would probably fight someone at the gas station if they started being a dick and causing trouble

Kuroo, baby. I love you, but please don't get arrested 😭😂😭

☆ Bokuto Koutarou ☆

Dear God, do NOT let him drive leave it to Akaashi, I'm begging you

Has really bad spacial awareness in a vehicle and drifts all over the place

Probably speeds without even knowing it, too

Likes to ride shotgun, but is a terrible navigator, so is nearly always made to ride in the back

Is the loud one that moves around too much and blocks the rear view mirror strap him in tight, Akaashi

Belts along at the top of his voice to whatever music is playing, he's not fussy

Was told to pack essential items in his backpack and proceeded to fill it with sweets and snacks and a pack of condoms??? and thought he did good

Bokuto: Bro, you said they were essential

Akaashi: NOT FOR EVERY SITUATION

Rarely ever has to pee, but when he does, it's always miles away from any service station, and he has to hold it for hours

Has definitely peed at the side of the road multiple times because he couldn't hold it any longer, but he wasn't even embarrassed as numerous cars zoomed past

Likes sticking his head out the window like a dog on the motorway which gives everyone else heart attacks

Like, get the hell back inside you maniac 😭

If the car has a sunroof, he's 100% standing up through it with his hands in the air just you try and stop him

And they will. Everyone will try

"HORSES!!"

Will get out of the car in traffic jams to find out what's going on and end up chatting with random strangers until it starts moving again

And he's very sad when he has to leave his new friends. Droopy hair and emo Kou for the next 2 hours :(

Unironically enjoys playing 'I Spy' for hours at a time

Is a bit much to handle in such a confined space for hours on end, but he's just so excited for the road trip

Will fall sound asleep in a matter of minutes if you set him up with a travel pillow and it's freaking adorable!!

☆ Ushijima Wakatoshi ☆

No music whatsoever it's distracting. Why would he want it?

Okay driver, brilliant paper-map navigator

Will sit and do absolutely nothing but stare out the window the entire trip if he's neither

Breaks too hard and accelerates too fast, though

Is also kind of heavy-handed with the gear stick he may or may not have snapped one off before...

Never give him a SAT-NAV, though, because he will follow the directions with 100% accuracy and end up driving through a wall or some shit don't try and deny it

Does he ever even blink when he's looking at the road? We may never know

Might be astral projecting, who knows

Forgets people need toilet breaks but refuses to make unscheduled stops

"Just hold it in"

Uh-huh, sure. That's how that works, Toshi

No snacks

Or rather, no fun snacks. Protein bars and mineral water all the way, babyyyy 🙃🙃🙃

Could probably drive all through the night without taking any breaks but that's irresponsible

Don't do it, kids

Will likely devour the entire KFC menu at the service station he's big, okay? He eats a lot

Is prone to leg cramp after long drives oh look, he needs a massage 😏

Doesn't get car sick. Ever. Upset stomachs are for the weak

Has garbage and recycling pouches on the backs of the front seats use them correctly, or feel his wrath

Isn't exactly a barrel of laughs, but it's somehow endearing just like always *happy sigh*

But it's actually a good thing

There's no hidden side to Ushi or any bad or annoying habits that come out of the woodwork on a long road trip

He's just the same old reliable, adorably straightforward Ushijima ❤

☆ Oikawa Tooru ☆

Calls shotgun and demands the aux cord every. Single. Time but it's pretty decent music, so no-one really complains

Not that he's any good at navigation pray for Iwa-chan

Is constantly taking selfies, making TikToks, and documenting the trip on his social media

#ROADTRIP #SQUAD GOALS #BETTER THAN YOU

Will send all the photos in the group chat when it's over, and they actually come out pretty well

Will not stop complaining if the air conditioning is busted and Iwa-chan will threaten to dump him in the middle of nowhere if he doesn't can it 😂

Iwa-chan: I shoulda left you on that street corner where you were standing

Oikawa: But'cha dIDN'T

Bonus points if you get that reference, lmao

Has to keep taking breaks because his butt hurts when he sits down for too long because it's fLaT

I'm sorry, Tooru 😭😭 Forgive me. I love you, really

Is constantly on his phone

But he points out pretty views and interesting sights to everyone all the time awww

Low-key needs to pee all the time, but gets defensive if someone brings it up please stop bulling him, travelling is hard

"Are we there yet?"

Seems kind of annoying, but is actually just genuinely excited to go on a road trip and spend time with his friends 😭😭

Buys matching souvenirs for everyone in secret to surprise them with 🥺

When people complain about all the photos, souvenirs, and enthusiasm, etc. and ask why he has to keep doing it, Oikawa says:

"I want to remember as much of this as possible. I want us all to remember as much of this as much as possible," with a sweet little smile 😭😭😭

And that's when everyone realises how mean they've been to him about being over-the-top and irritating, and they all feel terrible

Just like in the freaking anime, man

☆ Terushima Yuuji ☆

Will hijack the aux cord to play his incredibly niche music taste

Feet up on the dashboard when he rides shotgun

Shoes on is bad enough, but shoes off just stinks up the entire car you have to roll all the windows down, lmfao

Will break all sorts of road laws if you let him behind the wheel please don't

Daichi will come and arrest him 😭😭

Lives on energy drinks

That's all the drinks he packs. Nothing else

Travels in sports wear and sliders yes, even though you reallly shouldn't drive in sandals

Like he knows or cares 😭

Will chat to girls at the gas station and ask for their numbers, even though he's never going to see them again

"You never know, man! It could be, like, fate or something"

Yes, Yuuji, you do. And it's 'or something'

Thinks it's a good time to sext his current booty call because, like, he has hours of free time. What else is he going to do?

Probably forgot to pack actual food

Has to live off of snacks and cheap service station food for the duration of the trip

But not his own snacks, of course. Everyone else's one doesn't keep friends and buy one's own snacks

Genuinely doesn't realise if he's being gross or annoying, so let him down lightly like a bro and he'll probably make an effort to stop

Doesn't plan the route or anything, even if he's driving. Just punches it into Google Maps as he sits his ass down on the day and trusts it to get him there in one piece and on time

Entire Johzenji team: Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death...

For some reason knows how to change a flat tire, though, so he's good for something, I guess 😂😂

Probably saw a YouTube video on it. Maybe a WikiHow article

Somehow still manages to be an endearing part of the trip??

He smiles a lot and makes a lot of jokes, particularly when things go wrong, so it keeps everyone's spirits up

It definitely wouldn't be the same without him

© imo-chan-imagines 2020

[scarlettkat86]

FC5 GFH Tag!

Tagged by @chyrstis ty bb💜

My brain instantly emptied when I saw this tag. Hopefully I got it working enough to give y'all Lo as a GFH.

Loralai Dale Jones (GFH)

With Fangs for Hire

Boomer: "Bebee booms!" "Who's the bestest boy? You are!"

Peaches: starts singing pussy cat by bridge city sinners

"How bout a treat for that catitude eh? Wouldn't wanna end up like those peggies."

Cheeseburger: *offers hand and ear scratch* "hope you don't mind some fruits for a snack, I'd like to see you around for a long time big guy"

"hey cheesie, think I could ride on your back into battle? No?"

With other Guns for Hire

Sharky: *checking him out as he joins the team* "dammit, forgot my 'caution: wet floor' sign"

*high fives and secret handshake before shouting "team loshaw in the house!"

*sharky turns on radio. Set those sinners free starts playing.* "this is such a Johnny Cash knock off but goddamn it's good." * Starts singing off key and slaps his hand before he can turn it off.*

Adelaide: "Hey Ads, why's Jacob not on the 'any hole' list?"

*if adelaide is talking bad of hurk jr* "I'm all outta Bitch b gone spray, but these hands can show you what happens when you don't have anything kind to say."

"Im 100% certain I didnt need that image. Now I can't go back to the marina."

Jess *after watching her stealth kill a chosen and two judges in seconds* "I think you're lady boner is showing."

*while waiting* "You know sometimes I wish you'd talk more, but I'm learning the beauty of being one with natur-" *one of Jess' arrows hit the tree beside her head* "Fuck. I don't know if I'm afraid or horny right now. Both. I think both." Jess smirks, barely visible, but its there.

Nick Hey nick, wanna make a deal? *scratches beard* "Depends what you got in mind"

"Free flying lessons in exchange for painting a giant dick onto John's plane?" She rambles on about her plan and he agrees.

"Oh! I almost forgot! I found some of that old baby stuff the peggies took in a bunker a while back, tell Kim I'll be by this weekend."

Hurk Jr. Always greets her as ElDeeJay *finger guns* "Hurkinator!"

After a fight* Hurk runs over to her "Are you alright amigo?" *clutches scrape on her head* "first of all, did you see that peggie get launched? Amazing, and i think he's still in the tree!! Secondly, don't ever aim that rocket near me again or I'll throw you off a cliff."

Grace: *first time meeting her* "wow, you're gorgeous."

"sick shot! Think you could give me lessons?"

"I can sense your an honest person. Glad to have you at my back."

In combat:

•seeing an enemy: "the big ones mine."

•sneaking: "one two Lo is coming for you..."

•killing an enemy: "this never gets easier." "It's my life or yours!" "Think I strik have brain on my boots. Disgusting."

•Reviving: "I'll be there lickety split!" "You're not dying on my watch."

•Hurt: "sonofabitch!!owww." "I'm fine, it's just, a scratch." "Come on! Push through the pain, just a few more."

•Downed: "Take your time, I've got all day. Just bleeding out here." "Fuckfuckfuck" *vision blackened* "I don't see a light. That's.. that's a good thing, right?"

Driving:

If asked to drive: "Buckle up mother fuckers!" "You can totally trust me behind the wheel."

Reckless driving: "cheese on a cracker!" "Who the fuck taught you to drive? A blind man?" "Watch out, I don't want to meet a fiery death at the bottom of a cliff!"

•Changing the radio stations:

Faith's music *exaggerated yawning* "Nope, no, nein, I can't."

*oh John while riding with grace. Making up lyrics* Oh lawd!! Beauty and Grace! She's putting bullets in each and every peggies face!"

Idle:

• If you haven't tried Chad's grill, you've gotta. Don't be put off by the whole roadkill thing. It's fresh, it's delicious. Here feeds the whitetails. I mean have you seen Eli? That's a piece of meat I could sink my teeth into...."

•I wasn't born here in Montana, don't remember much of Tennessee. I do remember always going for hikes to local waterfalls or fishing with my dad there. Was a little more dense, a little less serene... man, I wish he'd of had a chance to see this place.

•Can't stand sitting around. Anyone wanna go for a run? No one?

Location specific:

•In the Whitetail Mountains: "Nothing makes my skin crawl quite like those wolf beacons. Faith has nothing on Jacob when it comes to psychological horrors."

•At Fall's End: So glad to see this place outta John's hands. Im not much for religion but I try to stop by to see Pastor Jerome often. Mans got some interesting stories from his time in service, and history of Hope County.

•Near any Clutch Nixon mission: Greatest or stupidest stuntman of all time. I tried the Baptism of fire one time. Lost an eyebrow, took two years for the burnt hair on the side of my head to grow back normal and broke my arm but man. It was thrilling.

Tagging: @goodboiboomer-fc5 @wewillryesagain @minilev @theblissburns @nightwingshero @jacobmybeloved if yall wanna.. sorry for any double tags, maybe you have a 2nd fc5 oc to share? No obligations though! I took... forever to find this in my drafts :/

[dogmomwrites]

Find the Words!

This tag came from @menagerie-of-monsters, so thank you for the tag! I'm gonna pass it along with soft tags to @monstrousfreedom, @sleepyowlwrites, and @regalserpent, as well as an open tag for anyone else who wants to join!

Your words will be flower, panic, shift, and witness. If you can't find one, leave a fun fact about your WIP, OCs, or writing process!

My words were silent, star, stop, scar, and surround. These excerpts were taken from yet another WIP without a name (RIP that WIP lmao)

Silent Derek placed one finger on his lips and he fell silent instantly. “Don’t even start that.” His face was dead serious, a slight frown creasing his brows. “I’m not a kid, you just said that. We’re adults. We can make decisions for ourselves. If I want to fall for someone nine years older than me, then dammit, I will. If I want to fall for someone nineteen years older than me, then dammit, I’ll just go and do that.” He paused to drive Karl crazy by slowly licking his lips. “Yeah, I had some wine. Yeah, I’ll admit I’m a little bit of a lightweight. But no, I’m not drunk, and I’m definitely not so drunk as to get sloppy with the first guy I see. I usually save that for when I’m sober.”

“You—”

He cut him off with a kiss. A gentle, tender kiss. No tongue, just a quick pressing of lips. “Go. I’m a big boy, I can wait.”

“You fell for me?” Karl asked, feeling more dazed than he probably should.

Derek let out a soft, awkward laugh. “You caught that, did you?” He was starting to blush again, but instead of saying anything else, he just shoved Karl out the door and shut it in his face.

Karl stared at the door for a moment. “You fell for me?” he repeated quietly, though Derek could no longer hear him. That was not at all how he’d expected the night to go.

Star He was staring. Derek had to wave his hand in front of Karl’s face before he jolted out of his thoughts, which had quickly turned inappropriate.

“Hello? Earth to Karl.”

“Yeah, I’m here. Karl to Earth, I’m on Earth.” Why did he say the things he said? “We need to get out of here, find somewhere safe.”

Stop He saw Karl and stopped, panting. As often as he had to chase the bus, one would think he’d lose a little weight, but it looked like he’d actually gained some since last week. “Hiya, Mister Odin!” he wheezed.

“Hey, Quinn,” Karl said good-naturedly. In every way possible, Quinn reminded him of Chunk from the Goonies movie. Maybe that was why he liked him.

“Watering your flowers?”

Karl stood in his front yard, hose in hand. The water sprayed in a gentle mist over the bed where several kinds of flowers grew—irises, tulips, jonquils, petunias, pansies, and a few he didn’t know. “No, I’m hunting elephants.”

Scar Slightly embarrassed, Karl kissed him. He felt like a kid the way he was leaning over the rails, but he felt Derek’s smile, and that made everything okay. “I love you. Wait.” He felt the frown against his lips.

“Wait?”

“Yeah, I didn’t mean that.”

“What?”

“Shit.” Karl put his head in his hands to hide his face. “I meant it. I did. I just didn’t mean to say it. I messed it all up—”

“Why not?” Derek asked, interrupting before he’d even finished speaking.

“What?”

“Why not say it?”

He frowned, confused. “It’s too soon.” His frown deepened. “Isn’t it?” Things had always moved a little quicker for him than for most people, or so he’d been told. His habit of forgoing the filter between brain and mouth had scared off as many relationships as it had sped up.

Surround Don’t have this word in this WIP, but tbh it’s under 10k, so I’m a little surprised this was the only one I didn’t have. Anyway, onto the little fun fact!

This drivel was technically based on a dream I had when I was around 16 or 17, but hadn’t actually gotten to the part that was in the dream. I wrote a couple short chapters to fill in the blank lead-up scenes…and then I kinda forgot about it. Whoops?

Lately I’ve been struggling to find one of my WIPs to work on, as I can’t seem to settle down on anything, so I started going through some older WIPs and found this one. So that’s why you get these random excerpts! Hope nobody minds something unrelated to any of my other stuff!