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withwritersblock · 1 month ago

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Am I Okay?

~Am I Okay? Megan Moroney~

Author's Note: Requested! I rewrote this like six times and I don't really vibe with it but I hope yall enjoy it! Am I posting this at midnight yes do I care a little bit but oh well Summary: Y/N and Luke fall in love Warnings: smut! smut! smut! MDNI!! swearing Word Count: 9,059 Luke Hughes x fm!reader

It was still dark outside but it usually was when she first got to work. The early morning shift was her favorite to work. Opening the coffee shop at six in the morning alone was her favorite part of the day. The sunrise always managed to shine through the windows. The pink and blue hues were breathtaking.

It was usually quiet in the mornings, for the first hour and a half she would see maybe eight customers total. After eight in the morning, she would see thirty customers in an hour. But the first two hours she would be alone and she preferred it that way.

The eight customers that would come in at that time were all the same, always on the walk towards their jobs. Specifically one guy who would always walk in few minutes after they opened. He showed up nearly every day that he was in town, always got a basic coffee he could probably make in his apartment but the fifteen dollar tip was enough to not question it.

The playlist she put on was catered to her own music taste, her co-worker that usually shows up at eight changes it to the usuall coffee shop eroma.

She poured the espresso shots into the iced plastic cup in front of her. She finished her latte with whole milk and carmel syrup. The small set of chims near the door rang and she spun around to see her regular Jack walking inside. His head covered in a black beanie and his usual long black coat.

“Good morning Jack,” she said with a soft smile on her lips. He grinned widely as he glanced behind him before he walked up to the register.

“Morning, Y/N,” he said as he looked up towards the menu pretending to search for something else to order. He always got the same drink.

“The usual?” she asked as she started tapping on the Ipad. The chims went off as another man walked into the shop. She lifted her gaze and her heart jumped into her throat.

“Yeah and whatever my little brother is gonna get,” Jack expressed, looking behind him to see his little brother entering the shop.

She met his eyes, they were tired as it was not for the weak to be out on the town this early. His lips curled upward as he met her gaze. His curly hair was hidden by a backwards hat. He walked up towards the counter and it was getting harder and harder to breathe for her.

“Lukey, this is Y/N,” Jack said, pulling her attention back towards him. Swallowing hard, she realized that she needed to breathe because she was not sure if she was actually doing it or not. Luke nodded as he pressed his lips together as he looked up towards the menu.

Y/N scanned his features, he was tall and the soft smile on his lips was intoxicating. It was too early in the morning for her to feel dizzy. Her gaze looked down towards the Ipad, trying not to stare at him too long.

“Do you have anything that’s not coffee?” Luke asked shyly. Jack chuckled while rolling his eyes, he crossed his arms over his chest.

She fought off a smirk forming to her lips, she glanced behind her towards the menu. “We have hot chocolate,” she mumbled. Luke’s smile widened. He squinted his eyes for a moment.

“I guess I’ll take a hot chocolate,” he said as he dragged his hand across his chin. Jack rolled his eyes as he handed Y/N his card. She finished putting in their orders and she completed the order. She spun the Ipad for the tip screen as she walked away from it to start making their drinks.

“Fucking, really?” Jack teased as he shoved Luke away. Luke chuckled as he shook his head.

“I don’t drink coffee, asshole,” Luke muttered as they both stood awkwardly in the center of the shop. Y/N smiled to herself as she began to pour the coffee into the to go cup. After another minute Jack’s coffee was done and so was Luke’s hot chocolate.

She placed the cups onto the counter, “How long are you visiting Jack?” she asked softly as she looked up and met Luke’s gaze. Luke’s cheeks flushed red as he glanced towards Jack.

“He’s playing his first game with the Devils in a few days,” Jack said proudly. Her eyes widened as she met Jack’s gaze for a moment before she looked back towards Luke.

“That’s awesome, I forget this hockey thing is a family thing,” she let out shortly as she tried to find the words. The boys chuckled, Luke brought his hot chocolate towards his lips and took a small sip.

“You should watch it,” Jack teased as he patted his hand against Luke’s shoulder. Luke turned his head and met her gaze, he smiled softly as he dropped his gaze towards the floor.

“I’ll think about it,” she mumbled as she watched the pair leave the coffee shop. Spinning around, she leaned against the counter, widening her eyes. “Oh my god,” she muttered barely above a whisper.

~~~

She returned to her on-campus apartment after shift. Her twin brother and roommate Ashton was sitting on the couch with his computer in his lap. Glancing towards her, he didn’t say anything beside waving towards her. He leaned forward mouthing something he was reading.

She pulled her coat from her frame and hung it near the front door. Stepping further into the apartment, Ashton glanced towards her. He took note of the smile on her face. It was always hit or miss on her mood after coming home from work. But she never had a smile on her face paired with silence. Usually she steps into the apartment and starts talking instantly.

There was a soft hum falling from her lips as she headed towards her bedroom. Ashton placed his computer beside him as he followed towards her suspiciously. She stood in her room humming a song as she was collecting a new outfit to change into after her shower. Ashton stood in the doorway watching her.

“What’s wrong with you?” he asked. Turning around, she jumped.

“Damn, Ash, you can’t just sneak up to someone like that,” she said while shaking her head. Raising her hands up she took a hold of her hair and pulled it from the updo she had.

“Why are you smiling like that?” he pressed as he continued to scan her features. She shook her head as she fought off a grin. “You’re face is doing something weird,” he pointed his finger towards her face. She smacked his hand away from her face as she let out a chuckle. She took in a deep breath as she rolled her eyes. His eyes widened as his mouth fell open, “Oh,” he let out knowingly.

“Oh, what?” she asked while crossing her arms over her chest, the grin still toying to her lips.

He nodded as he started walking backwards slowly, “No, I get it,” he said omniously.

“What?” she let out, a chuckle leaving her throat.

“Did you meet someone interesting today?” Ashton teased as he was still stepping backwards.

“Please leave,” she said as she giggled. Ashton threw his head back leaving as he headed down the hall towards the living room. Y/N shut the door as she turned around taking in a shaky breath.

She pulled her phone from her pocket to look up his Instagram, if it was public what was the harm in that? Jack followed her on Instagram, which was not entirely strange as she has her own social media presence. She was a popular Tiktoker that had a decent following on Instagram too. So his fans did not find it weird that he was following her.

She opened Luke’s Instagram and smiled towards the most recent photo set. It was his goodbye to UMich, she smiled to herself as she continued to look through the photo set.

~~~

A few days later, she was sitting in the living room with her brother and his friends watching the Devils game. Usually, she would only sit in if the game was a playoff game. Her brother was more into football until he met his college friends. They all would come over to watch the games. Which was nearly every night.

She sat on the floor, a blanket practically submerging her frame. Her brother and his four friends were tipsy and the game hadn’t even started yet. Despite it being a Tuesday, they felt that it was important for them to drink.

Ashton knew that Jack was a regular at Y/N’s job and he always teased her about him. But she always brushed it off because she didn’t see him like that. But Luke on the other hand, she has not stopped thinking about him since she met him the other morning.

“Y/N, any reason you’re joining us tonight?” Ashton teased as he pulled the blanket from her head. She huffed as she took a hold of it and covered her head again.

“Got nothing better to do,” she mumbled.

“You sure it’s got nothing to do with-”

“Ashton,” she scolded as she smacked his shoulder. The boys erupted in ooooohs and she sunk deeper into the blanket.

“What about that regular of yours?” Ashton further teased as he stood up from the floor to avoid getting hit again. The boys started yelling again as the first period was starting for the Devils.

“Ash, let it go!” she let out while laughing.

“Jack Hughes is a regular at her coffee shop,” he let out as he ran away towards the kitchen, for protection.

“Shut the fuck up!” Ashton’s best friend Logan said loudly. The boys all cheered as if a goal was just scored.

Y/N planted her face into her hands, her face flushing. She lifted her head towards the screen to see the broadcast showing Luke on the bench. She dropped her gaze back into her hands.

“If I tell you, will you leave it alone?” she said as her face was still in her hands. They all cheer loudly together. Ashton jogged back towards the couch and sat on the floor beside his sister. She took in a deep breath as she tilted her head back. “I met Luke Hughes, that’s all,” she let out barely above a whisper. They erupted in oooohs again and she sunk her head into her hands. “That’s all, I swear!” she mumbled against her hands.

“I fucking knew it,” Ashton said as tapped his hand against her shoulder.

“Can we just watch the game?” she questioned pointing towards the screen, just at the point when Luke appeared on the screen. They all started laughing.

“This is going to be fun,” Ashton teased.

~~~

She did not see Luke or Jack for several months after that. It was playoffs and Luke most likely went back to Michigan since he was not eligible to play. The last playoff run, Jack didn’t come into the coffee shop once. It was probably because he was sleeping in to get as much rest as possible.

But she was in a new school year, with the same hours. She would work from six in the morning to noon and have afternoon classes after that. She was always busy but it was better than over thinking.

For the first time in months, the chims went off and she spun around to see Jack and Luke trailing behind him. She clenched her jaw to avoid showing a wide toothy grin. A little crush was not going to get in the way of her favorite regular. Jack was always super kind and an amazing way to start the day. She refused to let her little crush on his little brother change that.

Until he smiled a sleepy grin towards her. Suddenly her plan backfired and she grinned towards them.

“Welcome back boys,” she muttered while walking towards the register. Forcing her gaze towards Jack, she saw a smirk on his lips. Ignoring it, she started typing in Jack’s usual.

“How have you you been?” Jack asked crossing his arms over his chest. She lifted her gaze, not really used to being asked that question.

“I’ve been good, I worked doubles all summer so I’m happy to be back on my normal schedule,” she explained glancing towards Luke. He hasn’t wavered his gaze from the moment he stepped into the shop. Jack nodded while glancing towards Luke, he rolled his eyes playfully.

“You gonna order or just stare at her?” Jack teased as he punched Luke’s arm. Luke chuckled as he rubbed the spot Jack hit. She pursed her lips forward as she met Luke’s gaze for the third time in a matter of two minutes.

“Right, yeah, I’ll take a-” he trailed off as his eyes scanned the menu, “Lemonade,” he mumbled. Jack rolled his eyes while pulling out his wallet.

She grinned as she typed it into the Ipad before she spun it towards Jack, a new pay system was put into place over the summer.

“So, is this a new thing? You’re here for good?” she asked as she started pouring Jack’s coffee.

“Hopefully, got to make it through training camp and pre-season,” Luke explained while crossing his arms over his chest.

“He will,” Jack offered as he continued to nudge and lightly shove Luke. She thought it was for the best to ignore them and stay in her bubble. She set aside Jack’s drink before she started to pour out Luke’s lemonade.

“That’s good, I’ll keep an eye on the games,” she expressed as she added a lid to the lemonade.

She took a hold of the drinks and spun around to hand the drinks towards the boys. She handed Jack his drink first, since it was burning her hand. Jack smiled gratefully towards her as he immediately brought it towards his mouth. Meeting Luke’s gaze she handed him the drink, their fingertips brushed against each other’s skin for a moment. Pressing her lips together, she quickly brought her hands towards herself.

“Maybe you should come to one of them,” Luke offered, it was obvious the words fell out of his mouth faster than he intended. Maybe the words left his mouth when he didn’t want them to. Jack brought the drink towards his lips, glancing towards Luke for a moment before looking back towards Y/N.

“Yeah, I’d like that,” she mumbled as she met his gaze. Their eyes remained connected for a few seconds before Jack let out a long drawn out breath.

“This is the part where you give her your number,” Jack mumbled before stepping away from them, chuckling. Luke clenched his jaw as he fought the grin forming to his lips. His cheeks pinked up as he shook his head slightly.

“I was getting there,” he let out while laughing. He glanced behind him to see Jack wandering towards the door. She let out a giggle as she pulled her phone from her pocket.

“Seriously, Y/N, he hasn’t stopped asking about you,”

‘Jack,” he let out while he took a hold of her phone to type his number into her phone. She smiled towards Luke as he handed her phone back towards her. She quickly typed a simply hi before she slipped it back into her pocket. “I’ll see you,” he muttered before he stumbled away towards Jack. He shoved him out of the door.

“You’re a real dick, you know that?” she heard Luke say as they both left the shop at the same time.

She spun around, leaning against the counter and shut her eyes. Raising her hand up, she delicately tapped her skin against her cheek to feel heat practically radiating from her skin. “Oh my god,” she mumbled.

It didn’t take long for the shop to get busy after the boys left. In the middle of a rush, her work best friend, Tommy, jogged inside. Usually, it was busy when Tommy got there but not nearly a line out the door busy. He always blamed it on the back to school students in dire need of a coffee.

“Girl, how are you alive?” Tommy said as he took a plastic cup and read the ingredients before he started making the drink.

“I’m running on pure adrenaline,” she expressed as she began to steam some milk.

“Oh it’s Semptember, let me guess-” he mumbled. She swated his hand as she began to finish the drink, “Oh definitely the pretty boys,” he let out teasingly.

“Later,” she mumbled with a giggle leaving her lips.

After thirty minutes the line finally died down and there was no one waiting on a drink. The shop was full to the brim of people with laptops and enjoying a drink. She was cleaning the counters while Tommy was also cleaning a few of the machines. It was a disaster.

Tommy brought his iced coffee towards his lips as he leaned against the counter, slowly wiping it. She fought the grin forming to her lips as she stared towards the coffee grounds spilled in front of her.

“Okay fine,” she muttered as she lifted her gaze to meet Tommy’s. She pulled her phone from her back pocket and held it up to show the unread message from Luke. He leaned towards it and read it. Widening his eyes, his mouth fell open.

“No way,” he let out. She spun the phone back towards herself to read the hey he replied with. She grinned as she shut the screen off.

She went into detail about what happened, excruciating details about how he looked at her, how his cheeks flushed red. Tommy was obsessed with it because every shift he would walk in and expect her to have some information about it but she had none. She was a little miserable about not seeing him.

It was a little embarrassing how often they were chatting and a customer was waiting, but the little five minute encounter was on replay until she left. She texted with him a few times throughout the morning but she could only do so much while she was working.

~~~

Tonight she was going to the game with Ashton and Tommy. It was the first preseason game in October. Since Luke did not play a home game during September, and she only wanted to go to see him.

Every morning that Jack and Luke were in town they would stop inside the coffee shop. Luke would stick around for a while waiting for the next set of customers to come in. Jack would get his coffee and leave. She would spent an hour trying to convince him to try a sip of her coffee but he would still refuse. Her mornings felt lonely without him but he always kept her entertained when he was there.

Her brother was driving the three of them towards the arena, dealing with awful traffic the whole way there. She was annoyed that he wanted to leave two hours before puck drop but apparently he was right. It was awful when Ashton was right because he never let her live it down.

“I cannot believe we are going to this game because of you,” Ashton said while he watched the light turn green, except they didn’t move. “You better let me meet the guy at least,” he begged quietly.

She rolled her eyes as she glanced towards Tommy for a moment before she looked out of the window watching the rain hit the window. “Maybe,” she mumbled. Her phone vibrated in her pocket. Pulling it out she saw a text from Luke saying, Stick around after the game, I wanna see you. Nico will stick around too so your brother can meet him. She lifted her gaze glancing towards her brother before she quickly typed an excited reply.

It took nearly another hour before they were parked in the arena. Luke was able to get them lower bowl seats on center ice. He didn’t want them close to the glass, felt like too much pressure; even if it was just preseason.

The seats were starting to get full by the time they arrived, the game was starting soon. They found their seats and Ashton was starting to fan girl. “Do you think we can sit here during the regular season? This is awesome,” Ashton let out as he was adjusting the Hischer jersey on his frame. Tommy sat down, shoving a handful of popcorn into his mouth.

She sat in the middle of them, awkwardly glancing around the arena. She’s been to a few games when she was a kid but now it felt completely different. Especially since she was told to stay after the game and he’ll meet up with her after. He even offered that her brother and Tommy could stick around too. She didn’t tell them that. She wanted it to be a surprise for Ashton, Tommy could care less. He was just along for the ride.

The team emerged onto the ice and puck drop started. Even for a preseason game the fans were ecstatic for the whole night. Suddenly it became obvious that she was obsessed with the game. It helped that she had someone to search for the whole night.

Her brother would explain the game to her and Tommy but they were still confused. Tommy was just enjoying the snacks the whole time. Ashton was screaming for every goal, high fiving every person around them. The entire game she was following Luke’s movements because he was the reason she was there afterall.

After the game, both Ashton and Tommy stood up to get ready to leave but she remained seated. Ashton looked down and furrowed his eyebrows. “Get your ass up, let’s go,” Ashton said while waving his hands. She shook her head while staring ahead, a grin toying to her lips. “Come on, dude, I’m tired,” he whined.

“Too tired to meet the captain?” she teased. His mouth fell open as he immediately sat back down. Tommy chuckled as he sat back down, bringing his seltzer towards his lips.

“Do I get to meet Luke?” Tommy asked as he leaned towards her, raising his eyebrows. She nodded.

Luke texted her letting her know that he was having someone come and grab them. It took another ten minutes before a security guard walked towards them asking to see her ID. She showed it to him and he guided them towards the lower level to meet up with the boys.

The entire walk down towards the parking garage where the players exited the locker room to, Ashton was talking about how he was going to introduce himself to Nico. Y/N had to calm him down multiple times on their journey down there.

Luke, Jack, and Nico were waiting outside the door. They were all wearing matching t-shirts and shorts while laughing. Luke was the first one to look towards the three of them walking towards them. He smiled widely and led the charge towards them. He walked up to her and hugged her instantly. Her entire body erupted in flames as he engulfed her in a hug. Jack punched his hand against Nico’s arm as he was teasing Luke behind his back.

“Um- Luke, this is my brother Ashton and my friend Tommy,” she said as Luke reluctantly pulled away from her. Luke reached his hand out towards Ashton first. Ashton shyly took a hold of it, all of his talk about what he was going to say to them disappeared. Luke shook his hand before he shifted his gaze towards Tommy, holding out his hand for him.

Tommy furrowed his eyebrows as he scanned Luke’s features before he shook his hand. Jack jumped in front of Luke to introduce himself to Ashton and Tommy with Nico.

“Ashton, nice to meet you man,” Y/N over heard Nico say as Luke took a hold of her hand and guided her way from the group for a moment. Lifting her gaze she met his eye and smiled softly.

“Did you enjoy the game?” he asked softly as he scanned her features. His cheeks were flushed red as he was pressing his lips together. She nodded while looking into his eyes.

“It was fun, thank you for letting me bring them,” she mumbled as she glanced towards Ashton and Tommy. Tommy was talking with Jack, laughing as they spoke. Ashton was still fangirling with Nico, taking a selfie as they looked over to them.

“Of course,” he mumbled.

~~~

It had been a month since they started dating back at the end of October. Luke was returning home from a roadtrip and she was over the moon. She was tired of waiting for him to call on FaceTime and fall asleep minutes later, she needed to see him.

She was starting to fall for him deeply, something she didn’t want to do. She’s been afraid of falling in love for years but something about Luke made it easy. He was on his way over to her apartment and she was awaiting him.

Ashton walked out of his bedroom and smiled towards her as he walked towards the kitchen, “I’m ordering a pizza, will your boyfriend want any?” he asked.

“Yes please,” she sing-songed.

“Okay, so I’ll order three pizzas,” he said teasingly. She rolled her eyes. He chuckled as he pulled his phone towards his ear and started to make the order. He opened the fridge and stared inside as he waited for it to ring.

It took another fifteen minutes before there was a loud knock on the door. Ashton stood up from the stool he was sitting in near the kitchen. He wandered towards the door, with some specific intentions. She could tell by the dramatics he did while pulling the door open.

Luke’s eyes widened when he saw Ashton instead of Y/N but he forced a smile on his face while he stepped inside.

“Hey man,”

“Ordered a pizza,” Ashton said as he looked Luke up and down as Luke stepped inside.

She jumped up from the couch and walked towards him, watching his grin go from fearful to genuine in a matter of a second. Luke reached his hand around her waist, pulling her towards him.

“Come on,” she whispered as she guided him towards her bedroom. Ashton stood in the room, staring suspiciously. They walked down the hallway, “Sorry,” she mumbled towards him. He chuckled softly as they stepped into her room together. She shut the door behind him as she met his gaze.

“Missed you,” he mumbled as he took a hold of her waist. A wide toothy grin formed to her lips as she took small steps behind her towards her bed. Her legs hit the mattress before she turned around and laid down. Luke looked down towards her, grinning before he climbed over her to lay beside her. “I heard there was pizza on the way?” he asked as he laid facing her.

Turning her gaze, she met his eye before she leaned towards him, delicately kissing him.

“I’ve missed you too,” she muttered against his lips. A hum fell from his lips while he took a hold of her cheek. Rubbing his thumb across her skin, he watched her eyes shut slowly. Luke leaned towards her, pressing his lips against hers. Waiting for her to part her lips to give him access.

Parting her lips, he slipped his tongue into hers as she glided her fingers through his hair. Climbing on top of her, he rested his hands on either side of her head.

After a few seconds, there was a loud knock against her door. Luke pulled away, interlocking his fingers as he leaned on his elbow to prop himself up.

“What,” she let out, Ashton pushed the door open, leaning against the door frame.

He stared towards them for a few long awkward seconds before he let out slowly, “Luke Hughes,”

Chuckling softly, “Ashton Y/L/N,” he said as he fought a grin forming to his lips.

“You travel a lot for work, don’t yeah?” Ashton started as he crossed his arms over his chest.

Dropping his head, he let out another laugh, “Yes I do.”

“You behaving?” Ashton said while raising his eyebrows.

“Ashton,” she scolded.

“Serious question, Y/N. You must have a lot of groupies being a Hughes boy,” he let out taking a step into the room.

“Ashton, you’ve got nothing to worry about,” he let out as he shifted his gaze towards her. She met his gaze, suddenly self conscious of what Ashton was talking about.

“Don’t you have a pizza to go pick up?” she mumbled while looking towards Ashton wide eyed. Ashton met her gaze and scanned her features for a moment before he squinted his eyes suspiciously.

“Don’t fuck this up and make me hate the Devils, alright?” he let out before he left the room, shutting hte door in the process.

Luke looked towards her as she let out a nervous laugh, she shoved her face into her pillow. He chuckled as he took a hold of her waist, trying to make her lift her gaze to meet his eye. “You know, I mean that right? Nothing to worry about, I literally live in that hotel bed sleeping most of the time I’m gone,”

She lifted her gaze and looked into his eye and nodded. “Yeah,” she mumbled as he took a hold of her cheek, running his thumb across her skin.

“Yeah?” he let out, somewhat teasingly.

“Yeah,” she whispered. He smirked before he leaned towards her kissing her delicately. He leaned his forehead against hers for a second, “I mean you do have a lot of groupies,” she teased.

“Yeah, but you’re my favorite,” he muttered, fighting a smirk forming to his lips. Her mouth fell open as her eyes widened. Pulling away, a chuckle fell from her lips. Luke took a hold of the small of her back, pulling her back towards him. He shook his head slightly before leaning towards her devouring her lips.

“I am not a groupie,” she muttered as she climbed onto his lap. His hands started gliding up and down the backs of her thighs. She continued to kiss him urgently. He hummed against her lips as she tilted her head back, scanning his features.

“Still my favorite,” he muttered as he slowly opened his eyes. She squinted her eyes as she fought the smirk toying on her lips. His hands climbed higher and higher up her frame.

She slowly climbed off of his frame, a pout falling on his lips as she wandered towards the door. She twisted the lock before she walked towards him. He bit his bottom lip as he scanned her features.

“What are you thinking?” he asked her as propped himself up on his elbows. She shook her head slightly as she slowly climbed onto his lap again. He rested his hands onto her hips. He rubbed his hands delicately against the fabric of her shirt.

“I’m thinking-” she trailed off before she leaned down and kissed him.

Loud bangs hit against her door again, “Pizza’s here!” Ashton shouted through the door. She sat up staring down towards Luke, a huff leaving his lips.

“I thought he ordered it for pickup,” she muttered as she climbed off of his lap, he chuckled. Falling onto her back, a pout fell to her lips.

“It’s alright, my love,” he let out as he slowly stood up from the bed. Waiting for her to follow him, she still laid in protest. Holding out his hand towards her, she reluctantly took a hold of it.

~~~

The following morning, Tommy showed up at the same time as the new trainee Brianna. Today was her second shift with Tommy and Y/N. Tommy adored Brianna while Y/N was still warming up to her. It was always overstimulating for her to train someone and Tommy knew that first hand. Which is why he was taking point on the process.

“You are so tense today, I thought Luke came over last night,” Tommy teased as he nudged his elbow against her arm. She rolled her eyes playfully while she vigorously cleaned the machine in front of her. “Oh damn, what happened?”

“We didn’t-” she trialed off as she let out a huff of air.

“Still?” he let out loudly. She turned around, glaring towards him. He chuckled as he glanced towards Brianna. It was obvious she was listening in. “Brianna, if you’re going to be working with us, you’ll need to get in on this,” he said, pulling her towards the conversation.

“Tom,” Y/N scolded while laughing. “She doesn’t need to know about my sex life,”

“What else do we talk about when we’re here?!” he let out while laughing. “Her and her boyfriend haven’t had sex yet,” he let out.

“Oh my god,” she mumbled while she covered her face with her hands. Brianna’s eyes lit up as she glanced towards Y/N.

“They’ve been together for a month and nothing,” he said while leaning towards Brianna.

“Okay, Tommy when was the last time you had sex?” she deflected while chuckling.

“Last night, thank you,” he let out confidently. Both Brianna and Y/N eyes widened as their mouths fell open. “But we’re not talking about me, we’re talking about Y/N. What is taking you so long?” he teased.

“Brianna, my boyfriend and I live with our brothers. And they love interrupting us before we get a chance to get anywhere,” she explained.

“Well, is there a Devils game this weekend?” Tommy asked.

“Friday,”

“Okay so see if Luke can get them tickets and then you’ll have an empty apartment,” Tommy said confidently. Y/N squinted her eyes as she stared toward him.

“Really think about that Tom,” she said while fighting a laugh rising in her throat. The chimes rang and they shifted their gaze towards the door. Jack led the charge like he always does with Luke trailing behind him. Brianna stared towards them, her mouth agape.

Y/N smiled widely as she met Luke’s gaze. “Hi, she muttered as she continued to look into his eyes. Brianna shifted her gaze towards Tommy, looking for assistance.

“Oh!” Tommy let out while laughing, he shook his head as he started making Jack’s coffee. “Y/N, take your fifteen,” Tommy expressed. She nodded.

“What are you guys doing here?” she asked as she pointed towards the empty table at the corner of the shop. He nodded as he followed towards her it. They sat down together, he pulled the chair towards him. Resting his hand onto the inside of her thigh as he pulled her closer to him.

“We’ve got a game at three,” he let out. Her eyes widened as she took a hold of his arm.

“Oh my god, that’s right, I forgot I’m sorry,” she mumbled. He shook his head as he pursed his lips forward.

“It’s okay, Jack needed caffeine, he couldn’t nap,” he explained. She nodded as she scanned his features. “His girlfriend is back in town, so he’ll be staying there tonight,” he mumbled, meeting her gaze. She hummed as she met his gaze suspiciously.

“Empty apartment?” she asked teasingly. He nodded.

“Thank god,” she muttered before she leaned towards him, pecking his lips. He chuckled as he glanced towards Jack who was walking towards them.

“Hate to interrupt but we gotta head out Lukey,” Jack muttered as he pursed his lips forward.

“Yeah, I’ll be out in a second,” he said. Jack nodded as he walked out towards the exit. “Will you be at the game?” he questioned. She nodded.

“Ash will drop me off and I’m meeting up with Reanne,” she explained. He smiled before he pecked her lips.

“I’ll see you after then,” he let out while raising his eyebrows as he walked away towards the door. She leaned back into her chair staring towards the door watching them leave.

Brianna still stood dumbfounded at the center of the register. Her gaze shifted towards Y/N, who was walking back towards the counter. “I know way too much about-” she started before she shook her head.

Tommy barked out a laugh before he patted his hand against her back, “The timing of that was insane,” he choked out.

~~~

The game ended with a win for the Devils, the first win in three games. Throughout the game, her mind was racing with the idea of what their plan was for later that night. She’s not used to having pressure on having sex with a partner. Usually, it came up naturally or it happened before they even got together. Something about Luke and how he made her feel, she wanted their first time to be perfect.

But now she was just nervous, almost like it was her first time ever. She sat in Luke’s car as he was pulling out of the parking garage, not once bringing up their previously discussed plans. She didn’t know if he wasn’t up for it or didn’t want to put any pressure on her.

“Everyone going good with the other girls?” he asked as they stopped at a red light directly out of the arena. Tilting his head to the side, he met her gaze. She nodded.

“They’ve been super welcoming,” she expressed.

He smiled widely as he reached his hand over, taking a hold of her hand, “Good, I’m glad,” he muttered as he rubbed his thumb across her skin. “Are you hungry?” he asked. She nodded, shifting her gaze towards the traffic in front of her. Furrowing his eyebrows, he took in a sharp breath before pulled his phone from hsi cup holder. He pulled up his Doordash app and handed towards her. Traffic was still taking forever.

“You’re the best,” she mumbled as she happily took a hold of it and started scrolling through the options. He chuckled as he started driving ahead.

The drive took another twenty minutes before they stepped into Luke’s apartment complex and the food she ordered for them was waiting for them to arrive. He happily took a hold of the food and guided her towards the elevator to lead them up to his apartment. He stood with the take out container in his hands, side eyeing her every soft often.

Squinting her eyes, she turned and looked over towards him suspiciously. “Why is your face doing that?” she asked while laughing. He pursed his lips forward as his cheeks turned bright red.

“Nothing,” he muttered as the elevator doors opened to his floor. He stepped out first, holding out his hand towards her. She giggled as she took a hold of it and let him guide her towards his apartment. He stepped up towards the door and unlocked it, pushing inside.

They stepped inside, surprised to see the light on. To their surprise, Jack and his girlfriend were sitting on the couch watching a movie. “Lukey, hey!” Jack said happily as he perked up. Luke clenched his jaw as he rested their take out food on the counter. He protectively wrapped his arm around her waist.

“Hey, thought you guys were going to her place tonight,” Luke asked flatly. Y/N pressed her lips together as she started to take their chinese food out of the bag.

“We changed our minds, traffic would’ve been too bad heading to her place,” he explained as he sat up slightly. Luke nodded silently as he took a hold of the containers and the plastic silverware before he tiled his head to the side. Y/N nodded as she followed him towards his bedroom. He opened the door allowing her to step inside.

She climbed onto the bed, crossing her legs, she rested the container in front of her. Luke twisted the lock before he followed her in pursuit. Luke let out a groan as he flipped open his container.

“I swear,” he muttered before he ripped open his silverware. Y/N chuckled while rolling her eyes.

“At least he’ll be occupied,” she teased. He chuckled as he tilted his head back.

“Yeah hopefully,” he said while laughing.

He pulled up Grey’s Anatomy, the tv show that they watch together. He’s never seen and it and it’s her favorite to watch his reactions to the episodes. They were still only on season two.

They sat silently while they ate and watched the show together, glancing towards one another every so often. His cheeks were flushed red. She could tell their minds were busy but she didn’t mind. She loved just being with him.

“Question,” he asked while tapping his hand against her thigh. She shifted her gaze towards him, her heart pounding out of her chest. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Because you’ve got this-” he trailed off as he pointed towards the pout on her lips. Her lips curled upward into a smile. “There’s my girl,” he mumbled, a smirk on his lips.

“I’m sorry,” she whined through her smile, “I am just nervous,” she muttered before she brought a bite of food to her mouth.

“Nervous?” he asked as he scanned her frame. His eyes widened as realization sunk in. “Why?” he asked as he jammed his fork into his food. A smirk toyed to his lips.

She swallowed her food before pursing her lips forward, “I just feel pressured to make this happen,” she explained motioning between them. He furrowed his eyebrows as he placed his food beside him. He scooted towards her.

“From me?” his voice got quiet.

“No,” she let out instantly, a chuckle falling from her lips. “From me mostly an-and Tommy but mostly me. I never really cared this much before, feels weird,” she let out, avoiding his gaze.

He smirked as he tilted his head to the side, trying to meet her gaze. “W-Why do you care so much?” he asked barely above a whisper. She pouted as she tilted her head back. His eyes widened as he fought a grin forming to his lips.

“Stop looking at me like that,” she whined.

“It’ll happen when it happens,” he said softly. She rolled her eyes playfully.

“You’re such a dork,” she whispered. He grinned widely.

~~~

His hand was wrapped around her waist tightly, gripping her to his side as they waited for the elevator doors open. His hand started bunching the fabric of her dress in his hands. A giggle fell from her lips as the doors opened, he rested his hands on both of her hips as he guided her out of the elevator. “Luke,” she let out barely above a whisper.

He brushed her hair away from her neck, pressing his lips against her skin for a moment as she began to unlock the door to her apartment. He continued to kiss the skin against her shoulder as she giggled. “Luke.” He pulled away, still resting his hands onto her waist.

She pushed the apartment open and he excitedly pushed them inside. The door shut behind them as he excitedly pushed her against the door. Her eyes widened as she took in a deep breath. Her lips curled upward into a wide grin.

At some point, her heels were kicked off of her feet. She doesn’t remember when or how but she didn’t care.

“I’m so glad Ash is out of town,” she mumbled, looking into his eyes. He took a hold of her waist as he scanned her features.

“Oh me too,” he mumbled before he took a hold of her neck as pulled her towards him, kissing her urgently. She hummed against his lips as she took a hold of the suit jacket covering his frame and pulled him closer. He glided his hands down her frame, he took a hold of her thighs as she jumped up and wrapped her legs around his waist.

Her body erupted into flames as his hands gripped her thighs tightly as he guided her towards her room. Still holding her up, he took a hold of the door and pushed it open. He delicately lowered her body onto her bed, she smiled up towards him as she scooted higher up on the bed.

He bit his bottom lip as he pulled the suit jacket away from his frame, tossing it to the floor. He brought his hands up and unbuttoned the first button before he climbed on top of her. He instantly connected their lips again as she took a hold of the buttons on his shirt, trying to unbutton them.

“My dress,” she mumbled against his lips.

“Is very hot,” he muttered as he started trailing his lips along her jawline, down towards her neck.

“No,” she said while giggling, she took a hold of his cheeks, forcing his gaze on hers. His eyes widened as he grinned slightly. “I mean, can you help me take it off?” she asked softly. He nodded instantly.

Slowly leaning back, she followed in pursuit. Their eyes remained connected the whole time. She slowly climbed off of the bed, standing in front of him. Taking a small step, she faced away from him. Her hair was laid across her back, slowly she took a hold of it and pulled it across her shoulder.

Luke raised his hand up and delicately took a hold of the zipper. Slowly, he glided it down to expose her skin. His fingers were hesitantly gliding along her skin. He took a hold of the straps to push the dress from her body. Her body were covered in goosebumps as took a hold of her waist, slowly turning her around to face him. Her body was still covered by her black lace underwear.

His fingertips glided along the fabric over her underwear. Biting her bottom lip, she took a hold of his shoulders. Her hands glided along the fabric as she met his eye, “Your turn,” she whispered. His eyes lit up as he scanned her frame.

“My turn?” he questioned softly. She hummed as she reached towards the buttons for him. He leaned back on his hands as she leaned towards him, slowly unbuttoning the shirt from his frame. The blush on the apples of his cheeks reddened as his gaze lowered on her frame. The last button popped open, revealing his body. She watched as his ab muscles tensed as the cold air hit his skin.

He sat up slightly, pulling the shirt from his frame; he threw it to the floor. Standing up, he looked down towards her. Pressing his lips together, he began to undo his pants. She fought the smirk toying to her lips. Gliding the pants off of his frame, he kicked them away.

He smirked as he leaned down and wrapped his arms around her waist. Lifting her up and tossing her down on the bed, she giggled as her back hit the mattress. He climbed on top of her, chuckling before he began to kiss her lips urgently only for a moment. His lips began to trail from her jaw towards her neck.

He slowly began to suck against her skin, biting before soothing the skin with his tongue. Her fingertips started tugging his curls as he continued to trail his lips and his hands down her frame. Tilting her head back, she took in a sudden breath. After a few seconds, “Oh my god,” she let out breathlessly.

Smirking against her collarbone, he lifted his gaze to meet her eye. Nodding she arched her back and with one hand he took the clasp of her bra and slipped it from her frame. Swallowing hard his eyes lit up as he took in the way she looked. Leaning towards her, he pressed his lips against hers sensually.

Softly, he pulled her bottom lip into his mouth sucking in slowly before he pulled away.

“You’re so beautiful,” he mumbled as he scanned her features. A soft smile formed to her swollen lips before she leaned towards him kissing him. His hands began to roam her frame, massaging her skin.

She was starting to get more light headed the longer his hands roamed her frame. He looped her lacy underwear with his finger as he slowly started to slide it from her legs. He slipped it to the floor before he took a hold of her thighs. Pulling her towards the edge of the bed. “Lu-” she let out as she giggled.

“Yeah?” he let out with a teasing smirk as he delicately took a hold of her legs to part them. Looking towards her she nodded as she gripped the sheet beside her as her body tingled with excitement. His gaze lingered on her center as he softly grazed his fingertips across her skin.

“You’re such a tease,” She breathed out.

“Oh am I?” he muttered as he climbed up towards her, hovering over her. Looking deeply into her eyes, she nodded as she took a hold of his cheek. Glidng her thumb across his cheek, “I think you just gotta be patient,” he let out slowly. Her eyebrows raised as she pursed her lips forward.

“Patient? I’ve been patient for months,” she teased back. He chuckled before he leaned towards her kissing her urgently for a moment.

“Then you’re good for a little longer,” he mumbled against her lips.

Tilting her head back, she groaned quietly. He leaned towards her devouring her lips, pulling her bottom lip into his mouth again.

Several minutes went by before Luke pulled his lips away from hers. He slowly lowered on her frame trailing wet kisses down her frame.

Dragging his tongue as his lips got lower and lower on her frame. He took a soft hold of thighs as he slowly parted them, a smirk toyed to his lips.

He took his thumb and softly began to rub his thumb against her clit. She took a sudden breath as her grip tightened against the bed sheets. He loved watching her squirm under his touch. A hushed moan left her lips.

He smiled towards her as he took a hold of her thighs as leaned towards her center urgently.

“Oh, fuck,” she muttered as her body was overwhelmed with heat as his tongue flicked against her clit.

He gripped her thighs as he continued, holding her in place. His tongue continued to suck on her clit as his fingers delved into her center.

“Oh my god-oh fuck-” her voice started to get louder.

He could feel her thighs start to clench under his touch. He pulled away from her, climbing up her frame, trailing wet kisses up her body. “Such a tease,” she mumbled as he hummed against her skin.

“So impatient,” he let out before he pressed his lips against hers for a moment.

“Please, I need you,” she muttered as she looked into his eyes.

He pressed his lips against hers sloppily for another second before he stood up from her to slip his boxers from his frame. Her eyes widened as smirked towards him.

He took a hold of his cock and slowly ran his hand up and down it a few times before he took a hold of her thigh. He further parted her legs, aligning himself with her center. He glanced towards her.

Hw pushed inside of her, a low grunt leaving his lips.

Slowly, thrusted inside of her a few times before he climbed on top of her. A breathy moan left her lips as he hiked her thigh up slowly as he continued to thrust into her. “Fuck,” he mumbled against her lips.

Her breathing was heavy as her hands glided through his curls, tugging them.

“So good baby,” he mumbled against her lips before he started to leave wet kisses against her neck as moans left both of their lips as they were both chasing their climax. “Fuck, baby,”

Her entire body tightened as she tilted her head back, a moan left her body as she fingertips dug into his back. He soon followed in pursuit, meeting his own climax. He grunted as he gripped her thigh tightly as they both started breathing heavily. It was as if everything was right in the world at that moment.

Just them, this close and completely falling in love.

He peppered kisses against her skin as he slowly pulled away from her. He laid onto his back as she rolled onto her side to face him.

Glancing towards her, he bit his bottom lip as he fought a grin forming to his lips. He reached over towards her, pulling her towards him to lay onto his chest. Resting her head onto his chest, “Wow,” she mumbled. He chuckled as he leaned down and pressed his lips against her head.

“So beautiful,” he mumbled as he glided his hand through her hair.

~~~

The following day, she couldn’t wipe the smile off of her face. The entire morning while she was at work, her entire body was oozing with joy. There was no one in the shop when Tommy showed up. Spinning around, she smiled towards him as he walked inside. He furrowed his eyebrows harshly as he walked towards the counter.

Y/N slid over the iced coffee she made for him. He pursed his lips forward as he took a hold of the drink. He sipped it for a second before he walked behind the counter.

“What is wrong with your face?” he asked as he scanned her features. Her eyes widened as she shook her head slightly. “Oh my god!” he expressed. She shook her head as she fought a grin forming to her lips.

“Stop-”

“You have that glow,” he said teasingly. “You had se-”

“Remember when I begged you to stop asking about my sex life while at work?” she let out with a grin on her lips.

“Oh but you’re the one with-”

“Okay, fine-we did and it was amazing,” she whispered. Tommy threw his hands in the air.

“Hallelujah!” Tommy shouted as he wrapped his arms around her.

“Don’t be weird,” she let out while laughing.

813 notes · View notes

sparklingblu · 16 days ago

Text

A Christmas Carol

Ft. Sakura, Yunjin and Kazuha (and a slither of Irene)

~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~

This is my christmas fic. Not really jolly but well..

The first snow of December fell lazily, like the sky itself had decided to procrastinate. Arbor's edge, a town that always felt too small and too big at the same time, was cloaked in a thin blanket of white. The streetlamps casted ghastly glows on the street jostling with cheerful people but to you, it felt more like a reminder that the holiday season was here, whether you wanted it or not.

You sat in the corner booth of a diner you were too lazy to memorize the name, nursing a cup of coffee that had long since gone lukewarm. The spoon scraped the bottom of the cup as you stir it mindlessly, having nothing better to do with your hands. Christmas music droned softly through the speakers - some old crooner crooning about snow and mistletoes. You hated mistletoes. Maybe you hated the way it made you remember her.

"Pie?" the waitress asked, her voice chipier in a way that made your teeth ache. Her name tag read Heather, and there was a spring of plastic holly pinned to her apron. Her smile was the kind that stretched too wide, like she's worried her friendliness wouldn't show.

You shook your head. "Just the coffee"

She hestiated for a second then jingled off back to the counter, her fake earrings chiming faintly. The lines on your face seemed to be etched deeper in the black surface of the coffee, swirling like a vortex from your stirs.

Outside, the street was alive with people bundled in scarves and parkas, carrying their holiday groceries and laughing at things you couldn't hear. The light strung along the buildings blinked in unison, a rhythm you found unnervingly cheerful. You sighed and turned your attention back to the window where frost patterns crept across the glass like a map to nowhere.

The coffee had gone cold, but you kept sipping it, more out of habit than need. It's a silent rebellion against the idea that you should leave and go home, where an old friend called emptiness awaited. You knew the routine too well: the dead silence of the apartment, the hum of the fridges compensating for the lack of conversation.

Somewhere behind the counter, Heather laughed like a blissful hyena at someone's joke. Mixed with the clinks of dishes, it's enough to make you feel more like a ghost than a person.

You glanced at the clock on the wall. 9:14 PM. Too early to call it a night but too late to do anything useful. The snow outside was starting to pick up, accumulating in thick layers that turns sidewalks into slick ribbons of slush. People were retreating into their homes, the streets emptying except for the occasional cars that passed by, their headlights cutting through the dark.

The bell above the diner's door jingled but you barely glanced up. Another customer. Someone you probably didn't know. Someone passing through. But the change their presence brought is unmistakable. You felt a shift in the air, like the pressure had dropped. The way it does before a storm.

"Pretty cold, huh?" Heather's voice rang out, too bright for her own good. You caught a glimpse of the new arrival from the corner of your eyes: a woman in a red velvet dress with white fur trim along the neckline and the hem. Like someone who just returns from a Christmas themed costume party. It's a wonder how she's able to withstand the cold in such a short dress.

You didn't mean to stare but something about her caught you. Maybe it was the way she strides without a hint of jolly christmas spirit - unlike most people this time of the year. Or it's the primal instinct of a male to indulge in the presence of a female. Either way, your eyes were fixed.

She slid into the booth and sat perfectly still, like she belonged here. She must know you had been staring because she returns your gaze with an intensity no less than yours. And you were breathtaken.

There could be two reasons for this. Actually, three.

The other party is monstrously ugly.

The other party is otherworldly beautiful.

You have gotten so drunk that you have started hallucinating.

Considering coffee was the only thing you had had the whole day, the second option is valid for this matter. Her face is angelic in a way angels could never be. From her dark irises to the curve of her chin, everything screams God's favorite. Maybe someone upstairs have decided to brought a blessing to your miserable holiday.

"Ethan Collaway" she said, voice soft but unyielding.

Your heart dropped. You had never met her. You were sure of it.

"Do I know you?" you asked, trying to keep your voice steady.

The woman tilts her head slightly, as if she's amused by your question. "Not yet"

You blinked, trying to make sense of her words. She leaned back in her seat, folding her arms like she's disappointed by your confusion.

"Not yet?" you repeated. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means" she smiled faintly. "that we are about to get very well acquainted. But there's no need to rush. Finish your coffee first"

You glanced down at the cup, now completely cold. "I think I'm done"

She raised an eyebrow, her expression hovering between pity and amusement. "Suit yourself. But you will regret wasting the small comforts later. You always do"

You shifted uneasily at her words. "Okay" you said. "Who are you? How do you know my name?"

"I know more than your name, Ethan" she leans forward now, resting her elbows on the table. Her eyes locked onto yours, and for a moment everything seemed to fade away - the hum of conversation, the clink of dishes, even Heather's festive laughter faded away, leaving only you and her in isolation.

"I know the weigh you carry" she continued, voice impossibly steady. "I know you sit in that apartment of yours, staring at walls that have nothing to say. Trying to fill the void in your heart with alcohol when you know there's only one person who can do the job. And I know you yearn for a second chance. An opportunity to set things right again" she pauses, breathe in. "But it's too late, isn't it? People regrets only when things are broken and can't be repaired. And when you hear laughter, like the kind outside this window" - she gestured towards the frost covered glass - "you tell yourself it's just noise. But deep down, you wonder what it feels like to laugh like that again. To feel loved.

You swallowed, your throat suddenly dry. "Listen. I don't know what game you're trying to play but-"

"No games" she interrupted. "Just the truth. And here's another: tonight is the first step. A choice, really. Stay as you are - alone and bitter - or take a chance on something different"

Your laugh came out shriller than you intended, the kind of defensiveness that only comes when someone hits a nerve. "Different? You speak like you're the Ghost of Christmas Past or something"

She smiled, but it didn't quite reach her eyes. "Close. But I prefer Irene"

Before you can respond, the bell above the diner chimed again. You turned instinctively, expecting to see a customer. Instead, the room seemed to shift again, the air growing colder despite the warmth of the heater. When you looked back at the woman, she weren't there anymore.

She was standing beside you now, so close that her voice seemed to pierce right into your ears.

"Pay attention, Ethan" she warned, voice commanding. "The clock is ticking"

And just like that, the lights flickered, and everything went dark.

❄️ ❄️ ❄️ ❄️ ❄️ ❄️ ❄️ ❄️ ❄️ ❄️ ❄️ ❄️ ❄️ ❄️ ❄️

The diner completely dissolved into blackness so complete it felt like falling into a void. For a moment, the only sound you could hear is the faint hum of your own pulse, racing so fast as if to catch up with reality.

Then a light appeared - small at first but quickly growing into a warm glow that engulfed everything. You blinked, trying to shield your eyes. But the action is not needed. Because this light didn't sting. It was different - soft and familiar.

When your vision cleared, you found yourself in an apartment. The smell of stale air filled your nose, mixed with the faint, phantom trace of something like jasmine. Or lavender. Something entirely hers.

This was your apartment, unmistakably. But it's a stark contrast to the mess it was now. The walls were bright with fresh paint. Not a trace of cobwebs or dust. The stacks of books were stacked neatly on a table. Everything was so neat. So in order. So her.

"It's funny" the woman, now known as Irene, mused behind you. "How this place had looked habitable. Like an actual home"

Reluctantly, you moved to a familiar spot by the couch - that spot you'd always leave your shoes no matter how much she grumbled about it. You looked up and there it was: The past you and Sakura.

She was standing at the kitchen counter, her hair falling in loose strands around her shoulders, a soft grin on her lips. She wore one of your oversized sweaters, sleeves too long for her hands but she didn't seem to mind it. She was holding a mug of something - probably tea - and she was laughing. At you.

"No, no, Ethan" she was saying in the familiar voice you had missed so much it hit you square in the chest when you heard it again. "You don't just pour the milk first. That's sacrilege. It's tea making 101"

You were standing across from her, arms crossed in mock defiant. "It tastes the same either way. You are just being picky"

She gasped, feigning outrage. "Picky? That's rich coming from a guy who needs his peanut butter spread to the edge on every sandwich"

You grinned then, leaning against the counter. "Details matter"

"And yet, you still don't understand tea", she teased, sipping from her mug. The light in her eyes shone brighter when she smiles - its warmth never failing to pull you in, no matter how bad your day was.

"See how she spoke so softly" Irene said behind the present you. "Even your stubbornness seemed smaller when she spoke"

The scene shifted like a film cutting to the next reel. Now, it was the couch - your couch, where the cushions were sunken just slightly on her sides. She was curled up against you, a book opened in her lap - probably Edgar Allan Poe - that neither of you were reading. Her fingers traced invisible patterns on your forearm, and your head rested lightly against hers.

"I think this is my favorite spot" she muttered, her fingers pausing their journey across your skin.

"Here?" you asked, shifting slightly to look at her.

"Here. There. Anywhere. With you" she answered, her eyes meeting yours like a silent dare for you to argue.

You didn't. Instead, you leaned in, pressing your forehead lightly against hers. A small gesture, but it mattered the world to you.

"Do you ever think about the future" she asked, voice barely above a whisper.

You hesitated, your hand brushing her cheek. "The future as in....?"

"As in us" she said, pulling back just enough to search your face. "Where we'll go. What we'll be"

"I think" you answered carefully, slowly. "that whenever we end up, I'll be fine as long as it's with you"

A laugh bubbled out of her, her cheeks tinted rosy with a blush. "That's too smooth. Did you practice that in the mirror?"

"No" you said, smiling despite yourself. "Now I'm glad I didn't screw it up"

She kissed you then - not hurried or desperate, but softly, like she was trying to memorize the shape of your lips against her. It's the kind of kiss that lingered forever long after it ceased.

The memory faded then, just as quickly as it had come. But your mind continued to play out the scene.

❄️ ❄️ ❄️ ❄️ ❄️ ❄️ ❄️ ❄️ ❄️ ❄️ ❄️ ❄️ ❄️ ❄️ ❄️

Fragment 1

"Mhmm, babe. Ugh, don't stop" Sakura's slender frame writhed beneath you as your cock entered and re-entered her wet slit in a steady rhythm. The old couch sunk and creak with each thrust you made, adding to the symphony of her beautiful moans. Unlike the soft, tender girl she mostly was, Sakura was vocal at sex - never failing to express her gratitude when your huge cock stretched her out. The neighbors next doors must be accustomed to the sound by now. You doubt these walls are thick enough to silence her pleas not to stop. You couldn't care less. Not now.

"Fuck. You are stretching me out so good. Don't stop babe. Oh My God" Sakura cried out as you gave her a particularly hard thrust, your tip kissing her cunt. And more curses and moans followed as you continued to hammer her cunt relentlessly. "Fuck. Fuck. Don't stop" she begs, her nails digging into your back. "Fuck me harder babe. Stretch my tight pussy with your huge cock"

See. This is what you loved about her. She's an angel, really but when you two got up close and personal, that angel is banished, fallen from grace. Instead, a demon possessed her. The kind that can't get enough of your huge cock stirring up her insides over and over. Always begging for more. Never satisfied. No matter how much you breed her.

Her walls clenched around you, milking your shaft as you took her over and over. You were as desperate as her for this. Because the feeling of her warm wet hole twitching around you was like nothing else. And she would say the same way about how good you filled her up. She already did, actually.

"You are so fucking tight, Sakura" you grunted as Sakura's pussy continued to squeeze you like a vice. "I'm going to ruin this little cunt. You are gonna be so full when I'm done with you"

"Yes, yea. Fuck me harder" Sakura screamed, her perky tits bouncing in your face. Unable to resist the sight, you lean down, putting one of her stiff nipples into your mouth. A jolt resonated through her body as you bite down gently, kneading the soft flesh between your teeth. "Make me your dirty little slut"

Who would think the girl who said nothing but sweet words to you would be begging to be your slut? But it's no longer a surprise, rrally. You have learned enough about Sakura's versatility. Forever your angel. Occasionally your slut.

"Fuck. You are going to make me cum" Sakura cried between each breath you took away with your brutal thrusts. Sweat had accumulated on her skin from the relentless pounding she took, dripping in clear streaks. Her eyes, dilated and hazy, did a better job than her words to speak about the onslaught of pleasure she's under.

Sakura's pussy is no easy hole to stretch but your hips kept bucking, as though driven by a supernatural force. You didn't care about how sore you must be the next morning nor how she wouldn't be able to walk for days after you were done. All you care about was this: the collision between your pelvises each time you make contact . The action itself more romantic to you than any tender gesture. This is connection- you two becoming one.

"i'm cumming. I'm cumming. I'm cummingggg" Sakura repeated the words like a mantra as she creamed on your cock, her back curving gracefully as her legs trembled. The way her walls pulsated around you as her juice gushed out was enough to send you over the edge. Soon, you were following her in the flight of bliss, pumping spurt after spurt of your warm load into her welcoming cunt.

It took a few more slow thrusts before you finally extracted your shaft out of Sakura's now spent hole. Your cum dripped out of her in a white streak as soon as the stuffing is removed. It stained the couch. Just like countless other times.

You studied Sakura's face, which now wore a peaceful, dormant mask. Her chest rised and fell steadily with her breath and her eyelids were heavy with exhaustion. Still, she doesn't fail to give you that warm smile that looked out of place in her current state. "You came a lot" she panted, then "I love you"

You didn't know if it's possible to replace lust with love right after sex but in that moment, you seemed to. "I love you too, Sakura. Always"

❄️ ❄️ ❄️ ❄️ ❄️ ❄️ ❄️ ❄️ ❄️ ❄️ ❄️ ❄️ ❄️ ❄️ ❄️

You blinked, coming back to your senses and turned to Irene, your throat tight. "Why are you showing me this?"

Irene's expression was unreadable. "Because she gave you something too good for you. Something you don't know how to hold. And you have been letting it slip through your fingers ever since"

You clenched your fists, the pain in your chest unbearble. "What do you want me to do? Go back? Fix it? It's too late. She's gone"

"Gone" she agreed, her voice soft. "But not forgotten. Maybe that's the problem"

Once again, the world blurred away into a swirl of white and green. When it settled again, you are standing on a path, flanked on both sides by tall, snow-dusted pines. The air was crisp, just the right amount of cold to be cozy. Snow fell steadily, softening the edges around everything - the lmapposts, the branches, the footprints trailing along the path.

And then you saw them.

You and Sakura.

She was walking slightly ahead, bundled in a red scarf and a cream coat that rebelled against the snowflakes. Her breath misted in the air as she turned to you - her younger self - her cheeks pink from the cold.

"Ethan, you are walking like a tortoise" she called, wearing that same warm smile. "It's not that slippery"

"Maybe I just don't want to catch up" younger you replied, voice light though his hands were fidgeting in the coat pockets.

Sakura rolled her eyes but she slowed down just enough to fall into steps beside you. The way she glanced at you then - curious expectant - was so small a gesture but it carried a familiarity that you could feel even now, watching from the sidelines.

"You've been so quiet all night" she nudged him with her elbow. "Something's wrong?"

The younger you hesitated, breath hitching. He stopped walking, snow crunching under his boots as he turned to face her.

"Okay" he answered, exhaling a cloud of white. "I have something to tell you. And it's probably the stupidest thing ever. But please bear with me for a moment....alright?"

Sakura blinked, surprised but her smile didn't falter. "Okay....?" she answered, drawing out each syllable carefully.

He reached into his pockets, pulling out a small, crumpled spring of mistletoe. He held it awkwardly in his hands, trying to keep them from trembling as he offered the mistletoe to Sakura.

"This" he began, swallowing hard. "is how I planned to say this. But I'm gonna do it anyway" You exhaled, meeting her gaze. "I love you, Sakura"

Everything was still for a moment. The world silent except for the steady rhythm of falling snowflakes. Then Sakura's eyes widened, breath hitching.

"Look. I know this is stupid. I totally get it if you don't-"

"No" Skaura interrupted. Then she smiled. She smiled? "You are an idiot"

"What?" the younger you blinked, puzzled.

"You are an idiot" she repeated, her smile growing wider. "You do realize you are supposed to hold that mistletoe above my head, right?"

"So...does it mean-"

He was unable to finish his question because he was instantly silenced by Sakura's lips that muffled his next words. The kiss was gentle at first but it quickly deepened into something fervorous - like their whole lives had been leading up to this moment and they were finally claiming what's rightfully theirs.

Your heart felt like it's being pierced through and through but you didn't tear your gaze away. You can still feel the cold bite of the air, the softness of her lips, the phantom warmth that lingered long after.

"Can't you see what you were destined for?" Irene asked but you can't formulate an answer, your throat tight with emotions. "You gave your heart to her that night. And she returned it with hers. For a while, at least"

You turned away from the scene, your voice thick. "And then I fucked everything up"

Irene didn't reply, only watching as the younger you and Sakura pulled apart, bursting out in laughter.

"You made a promise to her that night" Irene finally said. "One you let yourself forget"

The words lingered in the frozen air as the memory began to blur, snow swirling around you in a sudden, dizzying storm. Soon, everything is enveloped by a torrent of white.

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When your eyes came back into focus, you found yourself back in your apartment. Your breath caught in your throar. It was the old spit again - the couch - but this time, it was alive with a different kind of atmosphere. The heater hummed faintly, filling the silence and the warm light of a bedside lamp illuminated the small, familiar place. It's nothing unfamiliar.

Except that it wasn't Sakura's voice or presence that filled the room.

On the couch, sprawled out with heavy limbs is none other than yourself. The past you. Your shirt was half undone, and a woman who wasn't Sakura lied beside you, her sleek black dress painting an image of a vixen in the dim light. She leaned into you, her lips brushing against your jaw as you tilted your head back, your smile faint but unmistakable.

The present you stepped closer, stomach twisting in horror at the piece of memory you had tried to bury for so long. No. Not this.

"Please..." you begged, already knowing what's about to unfold. "Take me somewhere else"

But Irene stood firm behind you, her gaze unyielding. "This is what you must see"

The woman reached for a glass of wine on the table, tilting it ever so slightly as she swirled it with practiced ease. The way the liquid slosh around was almost hypnotic. "You are so tense" she commented as she runs her palm across your bare chest. "Sakura doesn't take care of you like this, does she?"

The past you flinched, sheathing your smile but you didn't pull away. "It's complicated" you muttered, running a hand through your hair.

"Is it?" the woman replied, her tone sharp. "Or are you too scared to admit I'm better than her?"

She leaned in, so close that her breath tickled your neck. "You just can't get enough of me, can you?" She blew a puff of hot air into your ears, the sensation unexpected but not unwelcomed. "You are never satisfied...."

You glanced at her, putting on a smile to hide your internal conflict. "It's not that simple"

"Isn't it?" she asked, tilting her head so that her hair fell over your shoulder in a pool of midnight silk. "You deserve someone better, Ethan. Someone who knows exactly what you need..."

Your gaze dropped to your laps. "That wouldn't be fair. She's....she's good to me"

The woman's lips curved into sly smile as she set down the glass back on the table. "Good isn't always enough, is it?" her voice dropped to a whisper, words brushing against your ear. "Don't you want more, Ethan? Don't you want me?"

"Don't..." you swallowed hard, resolve wavering as she shifted closer, her legs brushing against yours.

"Tell me" A kiss on your neck, leaving a crimson mark of her lipstick. "Who's better at this?" Another to your jaw. "Riding you. Blowing you. Being your good little....slut?" The last one was a soft brush to your ears that left you drunk in blissful sensations. More. You needed more.

"I can't..." the past you began, voice barely audible.

"Shhh, it's okay" she brought a finger to your lips, silencing you. "It's ok, Ethan. She doesn't have to know"

The present you clenched your fist, gritting your teeth. "Stop this. I fucked up, alright? I don't need to see it again"

"You traded your morals for momentary pleasure. And in doing so, you killed what you had with her"

You looked away, no longer able to comprehend the rewind of your mistakes. You have seen enough. Enough to make you feel like putting a bullet right through your head. But the human's mind worked in mysterious ways. Because it always fails to erase the memories people want to forget the most.

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Fragment 2

Her name was Yunjin. You remembered now. No, that's a lie. You have always remembered. She was a new hire in your company and things started off innocently enough. But to argue, most affairs usually do.

If confidence have a living embodiment, it would be Yunjin. She was sharp angles and quick wit, wearing ambition like a second skin. It's all evident in the way her heels clicked with purpose as she moved through the office.

It all began with a project, one where you and her were on the same team. Despite the endless nights of meetings and paperwork, Yunjin never seemed to falter, always keeping her cool. You admired that about her. And it should have stopped there. Pure innocent admiration.

Her communication skills were no less remarkable. She was easy to talk to, quick to joke, know exactly how to lighten the mood when the pressure becomes too much. Maybe that's what made you finally crumble.

On that fateful evening, you found yourself alone in the conference room after most of the office had emptied out. You were nursing a cup of tea, papers and stationary strewn across the table.

As if on cue, Yunjin entered the moment you lifted the hem of the cup to your lips like she wanted to ensure you couldn't interrupt her greetings.

"You look like you are about to collapse" she commented, leaning back in a chair close to yours with a smirk. She was in her usual office attire - white top and black overcoat paired with a pencil skirt of the same color so that when she crossed her thighs, her pale skin inevitably stood out.

"Thanks for the vote of confidence" you replied, setting the cup back down on the table.

She laughed, a low throaty sound. "Ethan. You are the reason this project just didn't crush and burn, you know?"

You let out an awkward chuckle, caught off guard by the sudden compliment. "It was a team effort"

"Sure" she said, leaning in - her top hanging just loosely enough to reveal a hint of clevage and you swalllow at the sight. It was wrong. But you are only human afterall. "But not everyone could've done what you did"

She inched even more closer and you told yourself that the hand she had come to place on your arm was nothing more than a gesture of companionship. But you couldn't deny the way it made something inside you stir. It's not love. Far from it. But it's equally intoxicating.

You cleared your throat, trying to find your footing. "You are giving me too much credit. It's a team effort"

"Humble, too. I like that" You shivered at the feel of her other hand that had come to rest on your leg. She's doing nothing more than simply placing her smooth palms on the fabric of your trousers. Yet, you can already felt your mamba growing rigid - her touch electric. A few more minutes of this and your boxers wouldn't be able to hide your erection.

You tried to focus on anything else - the clock on the wall, the stack of papers on your desk - but it was impossible to ignore the way she leaned forward, the curve of her collarbone catching the light.

"You know" she said, her tone playful. "You don't give yourself enough credit. You take care of everyone else but who take care of you?"

Sakura. That's who. But at that moment, you are at a lost for words. You tried to say her name out loud but the deep vortex of Yunjin's irises had pulled you in and every rational thought you had had been thrown out of the window.

You didn't know how it happened. When it happened. Everything passed by in a whirlwind of need and lust. The moment you came back to your senses, Yunjin was sprawled out on the long wooden table of the conference room. Everything on it has been shoved down to the floor. By you or her, you couldn't remember. You were looming right above her and you could only wish the table is strong enough to support both of your weights.

Your whole body was bare save for the unbuttoned shirt that hanged loosely on your frame. Yunjin's no different. Her overcoat had been casted away and her top was gone, revealing her perky tits. Your eyes wondered from the bent of her throat, down the planes of of her bare chest, all the way to her toned midriff, finally coming to rest on the nirvana between her legs, barred only by flimsy panties.

You felt your cock throbbing already - a sign of desperateness. All that occupied your mind was how Yunjin would feel around you when you finally penetrated her. She wouldn't fit around you like a glove instantly like Sakura does. But you didn't doubt you can mold this new hole to the shape of your cock. You have all the required qualities.

"Are you just gonna watch?" Yunjin reminded, shifting her body just a tad bit slightly to get comfortable on the hard surface. She didn't need to told you twice, your body is already aching enough for hers.

She let out the faintest of moans when you spread open her thighs, your eyes glinting with a predatory hunger - the kind only Yunjin can satisfy.

"You're mine now" The words of a mad man, fueled by lust. "And I'm gonna fuck you until you can't walk straight"

Yunjin moaned, arching her back as you ground your cock against her clothed pussy. You could already feel the moistness of her juice seeping through the fabric and the dark spot on her panties grew even bigger when you gave your tip a couple of rub on it.

"Words mean nothing" Yunjin replied, crossing her arms behind your neck as you leaned in even closer. "Prove it. Show me how well you can stretch out my tight little pussy"

There, it would have been easy to blame it all on Yunjin, that she was the one who initiated the act and made you think of nothing but about pounding her to oblivion. But that wouldn't be fair because there was still a silver of semblance left in you even then. It's microscopic and easily clouded by lust. But right at that moment you were about to cross the boundary of no return, a tiny voice remined you of her - of Sakura. It told you how much she put her trust in you. How she expected you to do the same thing. That you were betraying her trust by doing what you were going to do next. You should have stopped then. You could have.

But you couldn't.

With a grunt, you tore Yunjin's panties away, baring her dripping cunt to your hungry gaze. There was no time for foreplay. Foreplay is for slow romantic sex, which this isn't.

You slammed your cock into her tight heat with one brutal thrust and her walls opened up willingly. There's no doubt this bitch had taken poundings before. Not a chance she's a virgin with a hole this used. But still, somehow someway, it retained its tightness - so tight it almost seemed natural.

"Fuck you are so tight" you groaned, pulling back and slamming back in, earning a jolt through her body. "I'm going to fuck your brains out. Until your hole become so loose it needs a cock to stuff it shut"

Yunjin screamed, her nails digging into your back as you pounded into her over and over. The table creaked beneath you, threatening to give way under the force of your thrusts.

"Yes, yes! Fuck me harder" she cried, wrapping her legs around your waist. "Ruin me with your big fat cock. Make me forget my own name"

You obliged, slamming into her pussy with wild abandon. The room filled with the sounds of skin against skin and the wet squelch of her cunt as you fucked her hard and fast. But it's not all about the way she's milking your shaft with her walls. It's also the vision - the sight before you. Yunjin can and will get anything she want. There's no doubt. The way she hold herself - so calm and composed is enough to make others drip with envy. But right now, under the onslaught of your beastly thrust that rapidly violated her hole, moaning and groaning words of submission, she is no longer the confident woman. Instead, it's a desperate whore that craved your cock whose pussy is being claimed.

"Fuck. You are probably the biggest cock I have ever take" Yunjin praised, though it's hard to say with her rolled-up eyes. "You are gonna have to exclude me from the meeting tomorrow. I don't think I can -"

Yunjin was instantly silenced as all ten fingers of yours closed around her throat, depriving her of oxygen. But she deserved it. With the way she acted like your cock's the best thing in the world.

"What were you saying?" you asked. Yunjin could only make incoherent sounds as her mouth stayed agape like a fish on land. This wouldn't be painful to her. You know that much. Actually, it will turn on this slut even more.

Sakura could never. You thought. Despite her taste for rough sex, Sakura couldn't go this extreme. One time, you slapped her face in the heat of the moment and that girl actually got all teary.

No. Why were you comparing? Why were you even thinking about her?

"Tell me bitch" You asked again. No answer. Just more ragged breaths. As if to compensate for her silence, Yunjin's walls clenched around you even more, trying to answer with their tightness that she, indeed, was enjoying this. Yunjin stayed true to her words: "Words mean nothing". She's trying to prove herself through action.

Just when you thought Yunjin was going to pass out from the lack of air, her body tensed up as she creamed herself on your cock. The climax was unexpected as she wasn't given any chance to warn you. But you welcomed it gladly with more bucks of your hips as you prolong her bliss as long as possible.

Finally, Yunjin came down from her high and you released your hold on her neck, leaving a faint red mark that told the story of your dominance.

"I'm not done yet. You know that, right?" Your reminder wasn't needed. Yunjin had recovered in seconds, now getting on all fours as she leveled her face with your cock.

"Let me clean you up" she said before diving down on your cock. Soon, you found out her pussy isn't the only hole she can utilize to full potential. The warmth that enveloped your length brought you a different kind of pleasure. You tilt your head back, exhaling as you relish in the feeling of her tongue tracing every inch. How many heads had she given? You have no idea. But anyone could guess the number's easily a double digit if they were in your shoes.

She slurped on the cock like it's the tastiest thing in the world. Maybe it's the taste of her own juice on your shaft. Or maybe, she's just a cock depraved whore. Either way, you got the same treatment.

She didn't take you all the way - keeping half of you in her mouth while her hands stroked what her mouth couldn't reach. And there was no combination more lethal as each pair of stroke and lick send a shockwave through your core that have your toes curling.

"Mhmm" Yunjin licked her lips as she released you from her mouth. She looked up at you with dazed eyes as her hand keeps pumping your cock, spreading her drool from base to shaft. "Look how much you are twitching. You're gonna cum?"

She's wasting her words on a question you both knew the answer to. But you couldn't deny it was extremely hot. Who doesn't like a pretty girl worshipping their cocks?

Your simple nod was enough to let her proceed, as she took you back into the heat of her mouth. This time, she didn't make use of her hands. Instead, she impaled herself on your cock - taking it all the way down her throat. A loud gag escaped as it breached her gag reflex until her nose was pressed against your pelvis.

"Fuck" you cursed. She was bent down all the way in this position, her back curved and ass raised. And you didn't miss the chance to grab a feel of her buttocks, earning a moan that resonated through your mamba. A string of glag glag glag bounced around the room as Yunjin continued to fuck her throat on your cock over and over. A puddle of her drool has formed on the table. You made a mental note to clean it up. There's not much reasonable excuses for a pool of drool.

Sakura could never. There's the thought again. Don't be mistaken. Sakura blows your cock very well. To be honest, she loves it as much as you do. Especially, when you filled her mouth with your cum. But her throat wasn't meant for brutal use like Yunjin's was.

Does it matter? No. Stop thinking about Sakura.

The familiar knot unraveled in your stomach. You could no longer hold back as you pumped spurts after spurts of your thick load down Yunjin's throat. And she took it very welll, keeping your cock stuffed down her throat as she held it there like a good girl.

She finally released your cock with a loud pop, strings of saliva still connecting it to her mouth. "Thanks for the big load" Yunjin said while she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. "You really needed that, huh?"

Do you? Now no longer clouded by the mist of lust, doubts started to fill the gaps where the past passion had been. Wrong. This is all wrong. What have you done? How are you gonna face Sakura again?

This is a one time thing. Yes. A mistake made by unmonitored desires. It can't be undone. But it can be stopped. No one have to know. Sakura doesn't have to know. You will forget it over a couple shots. You wouldl be better next time.

But you weren't.

And in the end, you only had yourself to blame.

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You grounded yourself back to reality. No use crying over spilled milk. You have lived with regret your whole life. What use is it to worsen the pain?

You were still in the apartment, though now it was empty, the furniture gone, the walls stripped bare.

Irene stood a few feet away, silent as ever, watching you with that same unflinching gaze.

You staggered back, running a hand through your hair. "You didn't need to show me that" you said. "I know what I did"

Irene tilted her head slightly, a gesture bordering on pity. "Knowing is not the same as understanding" she said, her voice a distant echo.

You shook your head, clenching your fists to the side. "There's nothing to understand. I regret it, ok? Isn't that enough?"

"Is it?" Irene asked, stepping closer. "Or do you regret being caught more than the act itself? Do you regret the pain you caused her or do you regret the pain it left in you?"

Her words hit too close to home and you turned away, staring at the faded imprint of a picture frame that once hung on the wall - a reminder of what this place had once been. You could still hear the echo of Sakura's laughter that had resonated in this room.

"This is what you traded for a moment of weakness" Irene's voice appeared once more. "An emptiness that echoes in your heart, in your life. And you know very well it's your own fault. Yet, you let it spiral"

You swallowed hard, trying to find your next words. With difficulty, you managed to speak through your tight vocal cords. "It doesn't matter" you said, voice trembling. "I can't change it. I can't undo what I did"

"No" Irene agreed. "But you can confront it. You can stop running from the truth, no matter how ugly it is"

You turned back to her, searching for something in her otherworldly features - absolution, maybe, an answer to all of this. But all you found was her cold, unyielding gaze.

"What now?" you asked quietly.

Irene extended a hand, and the apartment faded around you, replaced by the faint flicker of something new.

"Now" she said. "we see the consequences of your actions"

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The world crumbled and rebuilt around you in the form of a late autumn evening. The air was crisp but heavy, carrying the scent of leaves and the distant promise of winter. A stark contrast to the snow-draped beauty of the Christmas night when you first confessed to Sakura.

Now, autumn loomed like an unwelcome guest. The trees lining the path were skeleteal, their branches gnarled and reaching out to the gray sky like twisted hands. The ground was a mess of fallen golden leaves.

Sakura stood across the past you, her arms crossed against the chill, though it was obvious it wasn't the cold that's making her shiver. Her scarf - a pastel pink you had bought her for Christmas long ago - coiled around her neck elegantly.

"Say it" she demanded, her voice trembling. "Say it Ethan"

"Kkura, I-"

"Don't lie to me!" she snapped, her sharp voice cutting through the still autumn evening. The brittle leaves crunched as she shifted her weight. "Just...don't. Please"

She looked at you for a fleeting moment, and for a heartbeat, she resembled the Sakura from that snowy christmas - the one whom you had poured your heart out to, the one who had said 'yes'. But now, the light in her eyes was a gone, replaced by a storm of pain and anger.

"Let me hear it from you" she whispered, her voice on the edge of breaking. "Don't make me piece it together from hints and whispers. Please"

You dropped your gaze, deeming yourself no longer worthy to hold hers. The autumn wind picks up and the leaves swirl as if to mock your silence.

"It was a mistake" you muttered, voice barely audible.

"A mistake?" she repeated, her laugh bitter and wounded. "You don't acidentally cheat on someone Ethan. You don't just trip and fall into someone's bed"

You were once again remined of the pine-lined path, her standing there with snowflakes in her hair, her laughter so carefree like she's the happiest person on earth. Now, that warmth was nothing but lost, extinguished by you.

"It didn't mean anything" you pleaded, voice desperate. "I swear it didn't mean anything ,Kkura"

She shook her head, the motion quick, like she was trying to expel you from her memory. "Do you even understand what you have done? What you have taken from me?"

"I-"

"No. Let me tell you" she interrupted, her tone gaining strength as her eyes glistened. "You have taken every moment I trusted you, every second I thought was safe with you, and you have crushed them Ethan. What did I do wrong? What part of me wasn't enough?"

"Stop" you whispered, voice trembling. "Just stop"

"No" she said firmly, leaves crunching beneath her boots as she steps closer. "You don't get to ask me for anything after this. Not now. Not ever"

You looked at her then, really looked. And the pain in her face tore through your heart like a thousand daggers.

"Sakura, please" you begged, scrambling for scraps. "I regret all of it, ok? I regret everything. Please, I-"

She let out a hollow laugh, one that seemed to make the dying branches overhead shattered. "Funny how regret comes too late"

Sakura took a step back, her shoulders stiff, her hands trembling as she wrapped the scarf tighter around her neck. She hesitated for a moment, before looking at you straight in the eyes.

"Merry Christmas, Ethan" she said coldly, the words laced with brutal finality. "I hope it was worth it"

And then she walked away, her form growing smaller in the dying twilight until she had been reduced to nothing but a distant dream. The rustle of the wind reflected the hollow of your own regret.

The present you watched, unable to cry, unable to make a sound. Because you knew it was your very own actions which have lead to this. Do criminals cry over the unspeakable deeds they have commited?

"There" Irene's voice appeared once more. "Winter held promise. Autumn held loss. And you let it all fall away"

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You didn't even notice the shift in scenery this time - your mind too exhausted with emotions. What Irene wanted to show you, you didn't care anymore. You had seen enough. Seeing more will bring nothing but pain.

But you stared at the new scene before you like a lifeless ghost.

It was your apartment, again. You wanted to burn the place down at this point. Maybe the pain will crumbled to ashes that way. Anything to escape the ever nagging regret.

It was Christmas time - the fist Christmas without Sakura. The scent of her baked cookies and the hum of hers to Last Christmas was nowhere to be found, though the song played on lazily from an unattended television nearby. The sound of traffic beyond the windows seem more melodic.

The you of that very moment? On the bed, tangled in sheets but there's nothign cozy about that. You looked like a corpse, still and unmoving - lost in thought. Your bare body does nothing to aid cancel out the vision.

But you weren't alone. No. Though you actually were, deep down, your physical self weren't. The woman lying next to you is unfamiliar in ways that only someone you're totally ignorant of would be. Her name escaped you, though it had been exchanged over shots at the bar you didn't even like. She was asleep, her bare shoulder peaking out the tangle of sheets.

You searched her face for a few moments, trying to find something firm in those beautiful features but only finding emptiness. You sat up, swinging your numb legs last night had taken a toll on and ran your fingers through your nest of hair. The room smelled faintly of her perfume - too strong for your taste. Nothing like the clean, subtle one Sakura always wore.

Sakura.

You pressed your palms to your face, trying to ground yourself - make peace with reality and escaped the past - but the pain has d rooted deep inside, growing deeper each day. And your worst enemy had become yourself.

"Does it feel better?" Irene asked, studying the confusion flashing across your eyes. "To indulge in the pleasure of the flesh - a momentary escape from reality. But it never fills the void, does it? It only digs it deeper"

You didn't answer. Not because you have no words but because you are too tired. Too tired with yourself.

"Look, Ethan. This is your present. A hollow bed. A hollow life"

Just then, the girl in your bed stirred and shifted and you caught a clear view of her face, though curtained by her silky locks. It's not Yunjin, no. You had parted ways long ago. This one will soon follow the same fate. Your head pounded and so did your heart. There, you are reminded again.

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Fragment 3

The thing about one-night stands is they are supposed to last for a night and then forgotten. But that title wouldn't suit Kazuha because this was the third night you found yourself with this beauty. Maybe, this is a new addiction apart from the countless shots you had downed in the bar. Or maybe, it's the way she sucked your cock so well on your very own bed.

"Mmph...does it...feel...good...." Kazuha asked through slurps and licks as she feasts on your cock - tongue swirling around your slit before poking your tip to the inner wall of her cheeks, making it bulge. Her face there - ruined so perfectly with mascara running down her eyes and drool spilling from her lips only served to earns a grunt from you. Not to mention her bare body, ass raised to show off her thick cheeks.

"Mhmm...I think I'm doing good" Kazuha deciphered the answer herself as she released your cock from her warm hole. "Look at all this precum. You like my pretty mouth on your cock that bad, huh?"

The answer was unnecessary and Kazuha proceed to plant kisses along your throbbing shaft before coming back up to collect the precum from your leaking slit, all the while maintaning eye contact.

"Can't wait to taste your thick load" she muttered dreamily as she swallowed you again. The pleasure that flooded your brain was phenomenal and you had to try not to buck your hips. Kazuha had already demanded to be the one in charge. And you didn't want to left cockblocked.

Kazuha seemed to sense your desperateness because she took more than half of your shaft into her mouth, cheeks hollowing as she sucked the life out of you.

"Kazuha...fuck. Don't stop" you mumbled, your body in absolute bliss. And she didn't plan to. Because she liked choking on your cock as much as you loved fucking her pretty little mouth.

She went deep, lodging your meat into her throat. She held it there, eyes unblinking as she watched your distorted face of a victim of lust. The tightness and the warmth was like nothing, squeezing your shaft in all the right ways. Kazuha was born to be a cocksucker. No doubt.

She finally drew back, gliding her lips up across your meat until it came off with a pop, a string of drool still clinging to your slit.

"Now are you gonna fuck my face or what?" she asked, and that instantly became your favorite question in this hollow life.

"Gladly" you answered as you held her hair in a makeshift pony tail, lowering it gently until your tip has disappeaered into her moist lips. Her eyes gleamed, a silent challenge. And you are not the one to back down from challenege.

You immediately starts dunking her head on your cock again and again and again, obscene gags escaping her throat as your tip speared into her oral hole. A couple strands of her raven locks ame undone, falling and sticking with drool to her face.

"You like it, hmm? You like me using your throat like a fleshlight, you cocksucking bitch" you asked as Kazuha can only respond in more gags and chokes. Her eyes water, the tears mixed with the mascara flowing in tiny rivers across her cheeks - an absolute vision of a slut. Did she wear it on purpose so that it paint her when you fuck her face?

Her throat is brusied by now, no matter how strong of a throat of steel she possesed, no girl came out of this kind of pounding unscathed. But she didn't seem to care because she took it like a champ as you use her mouth like your very own sextoy. Afterall, this is what she asked for.

You let her go for a moment, pulling her face off your cock in one swift pull. She gasped, drool spilling in waterfalls as she huffed like a bitch in heat.

"You really didn't hold back, huh." she asked, voice raw from the brutal thrusts. "I bet you are addicted to my throat. Wouldn't be surprised if you can no longer cum from your hands alone"

"You talked too much for a cock drunk whore" you complimented her as you tighten the grip on her hair, making her scalp burn. "Now, suck me off until I feed you that load you so desperately crave"

"Mhmm, with pleasure" No more words were needed after that as Kazuha dived back down on your cock, devouring it like the cock hungry beast she is. It's messy and sloppy. She no longer choked on your cock but the way she's slobbering all over the upper half of your length was more than enough to make you levitate.

Her hands cockscrewed what her mouth couldn't reach while she bobbed her head up and down as she fucked her face on your cock. If her face was messy then, it was even messier now - a filthy canvas of drool and tears and mascara. The picture of a pretty woman so degraded finally made you break.

Kazuha moaned around your cock as you erupted in her mouth, sending shots after shots of your hot thick load down her throat. And she didn't let up, sucking you through your bliss with undiminishing fervour.

After what felt like an endless ride of bliss, she finally pulled you out of her mouth but not before giving your spent rod a couple licks.

"Didn't I do good, daddy?" she asked, the name sending a shiver down your spine.

But as soon as the bliss is over, the regret came. Sakura. You never knew how much power she held over you. How badly you needed her. Kazuha's blowjob was mind numbing but not enough to numb the ever-growing pain in your heart. But if sex could make you forget it for just a moment, you will gladly took it.

Kazuha wriggled her ass in a suggestive rhythm, oblivious to your inner thoughts. "Daddy, can you fuck my ass next?"

Anything to block out the pain.

Really, anything would be ok.

❄️ ❄️ ❄️ ❄️ ❄️ ❄️ ❄️ ❄️ ❄️ ❄️ ❄️ ❄️ ❄️ ❄️ ❄️

You blinked, and suddenly, you were back to the present - the diner. It was still the same place, same scent of coffee and grease lingering in the air but the weight in your heart felt heavier, like it might crush you entirely.

Irene was back in her initia position across you in her booth, studying you with those cold eyes tht betray no feelings.

"You've seen it" she said, shifting in her seat and her christmas-themed dress didn't look so awkward to you anymore. "What you've lost. What you've become"

You tighten your fists on the table. "I know okay? I fucked up really bad. And I'm suffering the consequences. Happy?"

She raised any eyebrow. "Do you? Because knowing is not the same as doing"

You looked away, your gaze landing on the window. The streets were deprived of life now and the snow fell as relentlessly as ever, enveloping the world in white. You wished you could see the beauty in it once more.

"What am I supposed to do?" you asked, your voice low. "I can't just undo everything"

"No" Irene agreed, leaning forward. "But you can decide what you will do next"

Your jaw tightened. "And what am I supposed to do? She's gone. She hates me. There'a no coming back from that"

Irene'a gaze softened just slighty. "Sakura's wounds might not be yours to heal, Ethan. Some damage can't be undone. But your life - your choices - they are all yours. You can keep running from them, hiding youself in regret and pain or you can face them"

Somewhere distant, Heather's hyena laugh erupted again though this time, you envied her. When was the last time you can laugh like that?

"And what does that even look like?" you asked, throat tightened.

Irene gestured to the diner around her. "That's not for me to tell you. But you have already knew the answer, don't you? You always have"

You stared at her, a realization sinking deep into your heart. "You are saying I should go for her"

Irene tilted her head. "I'm saying you need to stop running from yourself. Whether that means going to Sakura or not....it's up to you. But if you don't, you will stay here" She gestured vaguely, encompassing more than just the diner. "A hollowed out version of yourself. Is this what you want?"

You studied your reflection in the murky surface of the cold cup of coffee. You had seemed to age in minutes. Was it the weight of revisiting the memories you had locked up for so long?

"No" you whispered. "This ia not what I want"

Irene leaned back, gaze unwavering. "Then decide, Ethan. You can't rewrite the past, but you can write the next chapter"

For a long moment, you were silent, staring out of the window at the dark, snowy Christmas night.

When you looked up, the ghost was gone.

The diner had grown quiet, save for the ocassional clinking of utensils. The clock indicated 11 sharp. Time had flown in a blink.

Just as you decided to leave, the bell on the dier doll rang again, welcoming a new arrival. You didn't want to look up. Enough hocus pocus for one night. But you did anyway. And you are not sure if you should be glad or regret that you did.

"Sakura?"

❄️ ❄️ ❄️ ❄️ ❄️ ❄️ ❄️ ❄️ ❄️ ❄️ ❄️ ❄️ ❄️ ❄️ ❄️

Happy Holdiays Everyone.

#kpop smut #irene smut #kazuha smut #sakura smut #yunjin smut #lesserafim smut #izone smut #male reader

881 notes · View notes

storiesoflilies · 2 months ago

Text

metanoia

synopsis: a love story that blossoms over two students’ shared love of drinking green tea and talking about the stars. w.c: 17k.

pairing: college!toji fushiguro x f!reader

warnings: mostly fluff with angst at the end! NSFW so MDNI!

a/n: this fic is my darling baby that has been re-released (in case anybody was thinking it looks familiar)! there are no major changes from the original fic! to both new and old readers, i hope you enjoy <3

art / divider / playlist / ao3

there was nothing else to do or say about fate, other than it was fixed.

no matter how hard you might try to change it, she never believed it could be. life was a series of scrawling numbers and greek letters, written by the hands of angels and god.

life was never going to be a straight line. rather, it was a scattered mess of ever-changing parabolas, dipping and rising above the axis like surfers on the waves of the sea.

but sometimes, just sometimes, you can hear what has been written about you.

if she tuned into things really hard, and listened beyond the banal noises that came with the plane of existence all humans exist in, she could hear it.

the scratching of a pen on paper, or perhaps a feather quill on a scroll?

yes, that sounded more like it.

she could hear the angels solving the puzzle they had been given – to balance the equation of her life. things had to be solved in a certain series of formulas to become a proven, tangible equation. the angels were still trying to prove her life, it seemed, and it was quite simply astounding that they were working so hard to try and solve it for her.

but the irrational part of her couldn’t help but think the worst.

what if they were bored?

she could certainly understand; there were many times when she’d been made to solve trivial questions, like calculating the speed of an aircraft, and she’d wished she could be anywhere but there in that moment. did the angels think that about her equation? would they ever get bored and just give up on her?

with that, the cold, beautiful reality that is life becomes apparent.

none of it was really personal to them, but she had a duty to live it right up until the equation was balanced and the last drop of ink ran dry.

but for now, it was golden hour.

that time of the day when the sun’s light softened, casting long shadows of buildings and trees across the pavement. honeyed rays of light filtered in through the window, refracting through the clear plastic display that showcased the sweet traybakes of the day. the cafe was quiet now, just after the hustle and bustle of regular work hours. most of the patrons were university students, drawn to the cafe for its convenient location near the main campus, where they downed their coffees like it was a drug to be taken multiple times a day.

she couldn’t judge them.

after all, she was included in that typical student caliber too. but instead of drinking her weight in murky brown caffeine, she preferred it to be of the green kind. more specifically, a cup of green tea took her brainpower much farther and higher than its more popular, teeth-staining counterpart.

and the perks of working for the very same cafe?

every cup of it was free and unlimited use for her – something she took advantage of every single shift.

the job couldn’t be more perfect for her.

although her shifts were daily, they were always scheduled during these quiet golden hours that extended into the stretch of moonlight, accommodating her university hours.

because choosing to study a degree in physics was certainly no joke, and she was grateful for any spare moment of peace to work on her assignments and reports. her manager never minded, leaving her to riddle away at her numbers, which went straight over their head, trusting her to still serve any customers coming in and close up the shop.

it was absolutely fine.

a simple, predictable routine – an equation she was perfectly happy to solve every single day.

until it wasn’t so easy.

| Φ |

some time later that night, the delicate bell above the doorway tinkled merrily.

it was well after the sun had dipped below the horizon and the moon had finally peeked out from behind dusty clouds, and so it had snapped her straight out of her trance. she had been listening to the music of mathematical constants singing to her of defined, set values from the sheet of paper placed against the wooden clipboard of ‘speciality beverages’.

it was him.

toji fushiguro.

the dark haired boy she had seen around campus, although he probably hadn’t noticed her flitting about between lectures.

he was unusually quiet and unfairly attractive. the boy who obviously frequented the gym close by, and came here to her little cafe afterwards. that much was obvious from the way the wet strands of hair stuck to his forehead, the spicy smell of whatever body wash he used, and the all black attire he always wore.

the very same same boy who she’d curiously asked about, only to be told that he kept to himself and didn’t really speak to anybody.

and she believed it.

she had never seen him walking with anybody else, or even bringing anyone along to his daily study sessions at the cafe. the way he grimaced at loud, boisterous students, typical of their age group, told her enough. that toji fushiguro didn’t seem to like people very much, and was perfectly happy with not being liked in return.

“hello,” she meekly piped out, her voice barely above a squeak. “what would you like?”

it was a silly question, she knew he would order his usual.

green tea.

just like her.

but it was a question she asked regardless, just in case his routine equation had somehow changed. you never know, perhaps the angels had miscalculated or wrote down a wrong number – it happens to everyone.

“green tea, please,” he grunted, not quite meeting her eyes.

he then sauntered off to his usual table by the window, and began pulling out his study material from his canvas bag.

she was grateful for the simplicity of their routine. there was nothing worse than preparing an elaborate order in the quiet of the night and disturbing the peace. brewing green tea was something she knew like the back of her hand, easy and peaceful like breathing. she strained the herbs as she poured it into a delicate ceramic cup, which the cafe insisted on serving it in, and brought it over to him.

toji muttered a small thank you, and she politely smiled, even though he never once looked at her. she walked back to her spot behind the counter, and placed the clipboard on her crossed legs, and resumed her musings.

such was their routine.

the both of them in their respective worlds within the same plane that was the cafe, sipping their green tea and whittling away at their education.

strangely, she almost felt honored that of all the cafes open late into the night, this was the one he picked to come to. even if the bitter, realistic part of her insisted that it was only because it was conveniently close to the gym. still, their equations followed the exact same sequence of numbers at that time every day, and she found that positively wonderful.

it was nearing 10:30p.m when she finally finished solving her report, and she looked up to see toji was completely engrossed in whatever he was working on.

he should have noticed the time by now.

he would have normally packed up his things at this point, but not before ordering one last cup of tea before heading off wherever it was he went to in the dead of night. probably back to his accommodation, she assumed, because he just didn’t seem like the type to show up to late-night parties full of booze and sweat.

she didn’t know what to say, or even how to say it.

the logical part of her brain was overthinking everything.

this just wasn’t the norm for them.

toji was supposed to have tidied up after himself, leave just the exact amount of money on the counter, and walk out the door without another word. she almost considered not even saying anything at all, biding her time until he simply realized himself and walked out.

until her legs moved of their, seemingly of their own accord, straight towards him.

perhaps it was all a result of the numbers being messily rubbed away and rewritten. he never even heard her; his black wired earbuds were firmly in his ears, and she wondered what sort of music it was that toji fushiguro listened to. she quickly tapped his shoulder, withdrawing her hand back to her side as quickly as she could.

toji practically jumped out of his skin as he turned to acknowledge her.

“sorry,” she apologized, looking pointedly over at the clock on the wall above him. “but we’re closing soon.”

toji frowned, like he didn’t really believe her, until he glanced at the digital clock on his laptop and jumped into action. “sorry,” he said rather awkwardly, hurriedly packing up his things as she stood at a respectful distance away.

“it’s no problem at all. please, take your time,” she replied as politely and delicately as she possibly could, looking away as he messily scraped his papers and notebooks into his bag.

his chair scraped uncomfortably across the floor, and he heaved his bag over his shoulder as he shoved a hand into his pocket, fishing for the exact change he needed. for a second, she thought, hoped, that he would hand it to her. but no, he almost jogged over to the counter and placed it right next to the black mug of green tea beside her clipboard.

toji paused, momentarily staring at her mug. she felt a flush of embarrassment, as if even he knew she wasn’t supposed to be drinking it out of a large mug. but he said nothing and rushed outside.

everything fell back into place according to the laws of the world, and seemed to right again.

| Φ |

there was something inherently uncomfortable about contemplating the future.

as summer rapidly approached, with only about four months left of the semester, she found herself forced to confront equations she didn’t want to solve. it was always during the night, when she should have been fast asleep, that she really tried to listen in on the angels scribbling away at her numbers. it was cheating really, an easy way out to hear the answers of what she was supposed to do.

perhaps if the end of her final year wasn’t so dreadfully final, then it would have been easier to formulate her own answers.

well, they weren’t really her own, but anyway.

she was in her own little bubble tonight, absentmindedly sipping her tea and tapping her pen against the clipboard. she knew the answer to the problem at hand, some menial question about what angle a beam of light would reflect at, and so she could afford to daydream and listen to the music of the numbers singing in her head.

it was quite easy to imagine a picture being painted from the numbers. why bother calculating the angle when you could visualize the light bending instead?

that was what mattered in the end, not just the face value of the number itself, but the tangible reality they represented.

there was no point in scribbling away at the numbers if you couldn’t paint a picture in your mind of the light itself or feel the thumping of sound waves reverberating through the surrounding medium.

there was only her and toji in the cafe now. he’d breezed past her earlier on the way in straight to his seat, dumping his bag on the table with the air of a student who was beyond fed up with their lot. she knew what it looked like; she’d seen it too many times throughout the years and had been through that position herself.

she tried not to make it obvious she was looking at him, or admiring the way his arms moved in the tight compression shirt he wore.

or the way his wet hair was slightly slicked back today.

and the way his annoyance sparked a beautiful flame of green in his eyes.

he looked over at her.

dammit.

she heard his footsteps approaching her, but her embarrassment forced her not to even look at him. instead, she focused heavily on pretending to be stuck on the paper in front of her.

“hey, uh, can i get a green tea?” he asked, his voice deep and undeniably addictive. “please?”

“oh yes, of course!” she replied swiftly, putting on her best customer service voice to shield her embarrassment as best as she possibly could.

toji shifted his feet from side to side, his hands in his pockets, and mumbled, “could i possibly have it in a mug, or something? it’s just… the teacups are really small.”

a deviation in the curve, an unexpected variable.

she answered anyway, perhaps a little unsurely, “oh, sure, yeah. no problem at all. is this one fine?” she lifted her mug awkwardly off the table, and toji looked at it and nodded.

“yeah, that would be great. is it, uh, more expensive?”

the way he asked it made her heart ache, as if he was ashamed of having to in the first place.

oh.

i’m so sorry.

she waved her hand at him, playing it off like a silly unnecessary question. “oh no, not at all. don’t worry about it.”

toji seemed visibly gladdened at this, the tension in his face releasing as his eyes brightened. he stood there, swinging on the balls of his feet, and she was quite surprised he was waiting for her to finish brewing the tea instead of bringing it over to him. she had to steady the slight tremor in her hand as he watched her brew the tea with practiced precision. after what seemed like an eternity, she placed the mug on a small plate and carefully handed it to him.

“thanks,” he said quietly, his eyes fixated on the mug and the thin wisps of steam wafting from it. then, like an afterthought that was actually painfully thought out, he added, “appreciate it.”

she could have sworn the corner of his lip lifted, and she almost lost her footing as she sat back down on her stool. though she knew it was impossible, it seemed as if time had been stuck in that moment, the laws of physics crying out for some sense of normalcy to resume.

and so she cleared her throat, pulling free time from where its coat was stuck on the doorknob. “no worries. let me know if you need anything else.”

but he was already walking back to his seat.

firmly slotting back the numbers and variables into the places they were supposed to be.

newton’s first law of motion states that an object at rest or uniform motion will continue to stay that way unless acted upon by a net external force.

or the law of inertia, as it was also called, and she much preferred that instead. it was what she thought of every time she saw toji making his way to the door of the cafe from the window, taking large, purposeful strides like he knew where he always wanted to go at all times. he was that object in uniform motion, his life seemingly constant without any real deviations. she thought of it every time he walked out of the door too, and wondered if there would ever be anything significant enough to achieve a large enough force to change his trajectory.

so what large enough force had been applied to make him finally ask for a change to how he drank his tea?

maybe he had never considered it before, never realized there was any other option other than the abysmally tiny teacup he had used before. perhaps the fact that he had stopped and seen her mug the night before had opened up new possibilities for him.

whatever it was, it didn’t really matter, because he looked so much more at ease now that he wasn’t hanging on for dear life to a teacup too small for those hands of his.

those big, attractive hands, with good, strong veins running through them.

toji looked up at her from behind his laptop.

the tip-taps of her pen became just a notch louder, and she bit her lip, almost crossing her eyes as she focused a little too hard into the hole of the letter ‘a’ in the word ‘angle’.

dammit.

| Φ |

it was march, and the cherry blossoms that grew around campus were now blossoming in full swing.

what little free time she had between university work, endless laboratory reports, and working at the cafe, was spent walking around the town and parks. while hearing the songs of physics and numbers was her way of life, sometimes it was nice to wind down and appreciate the beauty of biology and chemistry.

to see how the rain that fell from the skies was soaked up by the weed flowers thriving in the cracks of the pavement. they were tiny little warriors, persevering in the face of the hundreds of people who surely walked this path, avoiding death by being crushed.

the air was cool, and it was late enough in the day to make it feel much cooler than it should have been. she rubbed her arms through her jacket and picked up the pace. it was a week break in the semester, and it was much busier than it should have been for that time of the day. her manager had offered her more hours to work during the break, and she had mistakenly accepted the offer instead of taking some time for herself to do what she liked.

she entered the cafe, the little bell chiming, and smiled at her colleague, who seemed rather grateful that they weren’t alone to deal with the swarm of students enjoying a relaxing coffee. it was rather different from the anxious energy that usually accompanied students in here, but it was a welcome change to see unburdened smiles before the exam season hit them all in full merciless force.

together, they took on the onslaught of orders from all the customers walking into their quaint little cafe in the middle of campus. she couldn’t remember the last time she’d made such complex teas, brewing flavor combinations she couldn’t even concoct in her wildest dreams.

by the end of the rush, with her colleague having finished their shift, she was left in a frazzled state of tea stains and sticky sugary syrup.

and that is precisely when toji fushiguro decided to walk through the door.

she almost froze, a mixture of shock and embarrassment washing over like a bucket of ice-cold water. why, she’d never seen him in the cafe while the sun was still in the sky, and he wasn’t even dressed in his usual fitness attire either. instead, it was a black jumper and jeans. this was most certainly not part of the equation at all; she had never even considered to calculate the probability of such an event occurring.

“hey,” he greeted, as casual as the jeans he was wearing, while fidgeting with the hem of his jumper.

“hi,” she answered, dusting off some imaginary dust from her apron because she didn’t know what else to do with her hands. “the usual?”

toji seemed somewhat surprised at this. “yeah, please.”

she couldn’t lie; it was such a welcome relief to make something so simple amidst the chaos that was the ever-changing trends of beverages. had the universe written an additional formula just to provide her with just a moment’s respite?

or was it the law of attraction being employed?

no, that was surely wishful thinking.

there was no way that toji fushiguro had anything in common with her.

“are you sitting in or taking away?” she prompted, the extra words slipping through her lips.

he thought about it for a second before nodding his head, “uh, yeah, takeaway please.”

“no problem,” she replied smoothly, amazed at how well she was deviating from their usual interactions, and poured the tea into a disposable cup. “there you go.”

toji mumbled a ‘thank you’ as he carefully placed the coins on the counter, his hands completely enveloping what she would have once considered a large cup.

what compelled her to say the following words, she didn’t really know, but she called out in a hopefully not-so-loud voice as he turned to leave, “enjoy the blossoms!”

just why?

why would you say that?

she was even more mortified when toji simply walked out the door without sparing her a second glance. the universe was cruel for adding that into the equation, and she could have sworn, to add further insult to injury, that two girls had watched their exchange and were snickering.

enjoy the blossoms?

stupid, stupid, stupid!

| Φ |

for the rest of the day, she felt as if the second law of thermodynamics very much applied to her.

as she recounted her absolutely horrific exchange with toji, she felt the heat of the universe pressing down on her isolated being, causing her atoms inside of her to bounce of the walls that was her skin, sending her into a more and more disorganized chaotic state of existence. she actually hoped for once that the deviance of the otherwise constant line would continue to do so, and that toji wouldn’t come to the cafe later on that night.

then she could resume solving the equation as it was meant to be solved for the next night, and she could continue on as if nothing ever happened in the first place.

so when their routine did end up resuming its normalcy, and toji walked into the cafe with his dark wet hair and canvas bag, she was too mortified to even speak to him, despite him being the only customer in the shop. she got straight to work brewing him his tea, avoiding even looking anywhere near him as he set his things down at the table.

her lack of attention, for once, almost caused a head-on collision.

“hey, oh shit! sorry,” toji cussed, even though it was completely her fault, as he stopped whatever momentum he had in his body from crashing into her.

she hissed as the scalding tea splashed onto her fingers. “oh, no, i’m sorry! are you alright?”

“yeah, don’t worry about it.”

with a wobbly, quivering lip, she went around him and placed his mug on the table, being careful to avoid placing the wet bottom anywhere near his papers. it was there she caught a glimpse of some messily scrawled-out calculations on a piece of scratch paper, and her brain immediately started to sing.

no, don’t stare. it’s rude.

“sorry again,” she whispered, looking straight at the ground and being careful to not step in his way again.

toji never even made a sound, and she didn’t dare to look up to see if he was looking at her. she ran her finger under some cold water before taking her usual seat at the counter, and picked up where she left off on summarizing her lectures. it was perfectly quiet now, save for the scratching of her pen on paper and toji typing away on his keyboard. this was peaceful, easy, and– hold on. why could she hear the sound of the music?

“hey, sorry to interrupt,” toji interjected, making her jump. “do you have any sandwiches or something left?”

“oh! no, i’m sorry, what’s on display is what’s left,” she answered shakily, putting her pen down on the counter. “i, um- the protein balls are pretty decent, if you like that sort of thing.”

“oh, sure. yeah,” he murmured, looking at the several flavors that were available. “I’ll take the, uh, peanut flavor. that any good?”

she smiled softly, despite the throbbing sensation in her finger. “yeah, it’s not bad. you want two?” he nodded, and she wrapped them both up in a paper bag as he procured out coins from his pocket.

toji dug around some more, patting down his pockets to make sure there was definitely nothing lingering in there, and his stomach audibly growled. the air became a touch too awkward, and she stared at the sad-looking change on the counter.

she slid the bag over to him with quiet understanding, and gave him the kindest smile she possibly could.

“hey, don’t worry about it. it’s on the house,” she encouraged. “sorry, i should have said that from the beginning.”

toji shook his head, running a hand through his hair. “oh no, i couldn’t do that. sorry, i’ll just leave it. i thought i had enough change.”

she pushed the bag further towards him. “it’s fine, i insist. please.”

he slowly took the bag, as if he wasn’t sure that it was real, or that it was maybe going to bite him. “thanks,” he said quietly, and retreated back to his seat, packing up his things, while she sat there trying to will her atoms back into their rightful place.

“thanks again,” toji rumbled softly as he held the door halfway open. “i’ll see you tomorrow?”

“o-oh yeah! yeah, see you tomorrow,” she stuttered back.

with that, he closed the door behind him, the bell tingling a beautiful farewell for him, and she was left with the atoms of her thumping heart completely dispersing into the atmosphere as she frantically tried to claw them back down.

| Φ |

tomorrow came and went, and they had settled into a slightly different flow of their routine.

instead of waiting for her to bring over his tea, toji now waited at the counter for her to hand him a large, steaming mug of his fix. they never spoke anymore than what they did before, but there was something that had changed between them. something so subtle that it couldn’t be defined properly, but she knew it was there, and she hoped toji knew it too.

it was april now, and the flurry of students cramming for their exams in may were in full swing. when she wasn’t at the cafe, she was holed up in her shared accommodation, buried underneath a blanket that may as well have been a black hole swallowing her whole. there, she studied for the last set of exams she would ever have to sit at university, but she tried not to dwell on that fact.

not that she didn’t study at the cafe, but toji’s presence added an extra dynamic that made it difficult to focus as well as when she was alone.

despite her best efforts, she couldn’t help but constantly glance at him when she was confident he wasn’t looking. right now, she could tell he was silently stressing over his exams too. spending so long in silence with another person meant she could tell the slight quirks in his face that signalled a changed in trajectory of emotion.

currently, the deep frown lines etched in his forehead meant that he was monumentally stuck on something. he’d been like that ever since he powered up his laptop and stared at the screen, the dim light casting an artificial, cold glow on his face.

once again, she didn’t know what compelled her to do what she did next.

maybe it was the fact she knew he had barely touched his tea, and it was surely cold by now. or maybe it was the desire to momentarily distract him from his frustration by bringing him a warm, fresh brew. whatever it was, her body was moving according some new formula the angels had applied, and she found herself simply walking over without saying anything and placing a piping hot mug next to his laptop.

“huh? oh, thanks,” toji said slowly, daze-like, as if he wasn’t sure she was real and doing this.

she smiled softly, quickly glancing at the scratch paper in front of him, and oh no – he wasn’t composing the music correctly at all.

“that isn’t the answer,” she stated simply, looking back up at him. he frowned again, momentarily confused, until she pointed at his paper and said, “you’ve calculated this wrong. that isn’t the right equation to use.”

toji looked back down at his paper, sighing softly, and rubbed his face as he seemed to sink deeper and deeper into his chair. she couldn’t understand it; there was absolutely nothing to be ashamed of in getting a question wrong. she’d done it before herself many times, and more than likely would continue to do so.

“sorry, i-uh, i’m not very good at mathematics,” he mumbled shyly, and her heart started to crumble like a biscuit.

she pulled her pen out of her pocket and clicked it once. “no need to be sorry. do you want me to show you how to do it?”

toji nodded wordlessly, and slid the paper over to her, angling the laptop so she could see the question displayed. it was about calculating the speed of an athlete's arm as they threw a ball through the air, but he hadn’t used the correct equation, nor the correct standard units. she quickly wrote out every step of how to solve it, did a final check that her mental calculations were correct against his gray calculator, and slid the paper back to him.

“there, be careful with your units and don’t forget to include them. most of my professors have strict marking against not writing the proper ones, i don’t know about yours, but it might be better to be safe than sorry,” she explained, her throat tightening as he intently looked at her working out.

it felt personal on another sort of level, and strangely intimate.

he seemed to be taking his time studying it, with a slightly blank look, as if what she had done was still going well over his head. “yeah, good point. thank you,” was all he mustered, and he tilted his head at the scratch paper.

“do you want me to explain anything?” she prompted, half expecting him to pretend that he understood everything. that would have been typical of a student at university - faking it until they somehow made it.

so she was pleasantly surprised, but not at all unwilling to explain it when toji nodded again, a light dusting of pink on his cheeks. she tried to recall how her teachers in high school had taught her these concepts, trying to adapt their tone of voice: patient and understanding. she leaned over to be more at eye level at him, trying to seem less intimidating, and their close proximity was sending her brain into overdrive.

“i hope this makes more sense now,” she said as she wrapped up the explanation.

toji’s lips formed a small ‘o’ shape, and the scar gracing them resembled the greek letter phi, but with the line running over to the right side instead of the middle. if she didn’t need anymore proof that the boy sitting in front of her was perfect, then the angels had just thrown in the winning factor.

phi, the perfect golden constant, now belonged in her mind only to toji fushiguro.

“uh, yeah actually,” he hummed, seemingly appreciative, his eyes sparkling against the dim lighting of the cafe. “thanks so much.”

she couldn’t help it, but she grinned widely. “no problem at all.”

she started to walk away, biting her lip when she turned her back to him, already feeling the bitter sting of disappointment that things would probably be back to normal after yet another deviation. until toji called out, “you’re really good at this. what do you study?”

“physics,” she replied, hoping the shock wasn’t too evident in her voice. “what about you?”

“P.E.,” he answered, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms. she had to try very hard not to stare at how nice his biceps looked. “i stupidly decided to add a sports biomechanics module as my optional one. kinda regretting it now.”

toji chuckled halfheartedly, and she almost swooned, but opted to tilt her head to the side and say, “oh, but don’t you find it fascinating? it’s the numbers behind the real output of an athlete.”

“oh, well i never really thought about it that way.” he seemed to be genuinely pondering her outlook on the matter, staring hard at the numbers before him, and she felt the blood rising to her cheeks. toji looked back up at her and smiled a devastatingly handsome smile. “i suppose it makes sense for you to think like that.”

she didn’t really know how to reply to that except an, “i guess so,” and then added a polite follow-up of, “what sort of sport do you, then?”

“judo and jujutsu,” toji replied smoothly and completely casually. “i train at the gym before i come here.”

“oh yeah? that’s quite intense.”

“not so much if you enjoy it, really.”

“easy for you to say. you’re obviously in much better shape than the rest of us.”

she almost cringed externally at that.

obviously much better shape? why on earth would you say obviously, stupid?

but toji only chuckled, scratching the back of his neck. “hard work, i guess.” he mumbled, staring back at his paper.

she glanced up at the time, noting that it was almost time to close. “well, i’m sorry, but you might have to practice it yourself at home.”

he looked panicked for a second, his eyes darting over to the clock. “oh, yeah. probably.” and started to slowly pack up his things.

she didn’t want to observe him anymore than she already had, so she busied herself by washing their mugs and quickly wiping down the counter for the morning shift, while toji was taking his time neatly packing away his things. was it wishful thinking that perhaps he was stalling. whether it was or wasn’t, she left him to it, switching off the lights everywhere except at the entrance. she swept her eyes over the cafe to make sure she hadn’t missed anything before heading out.

toji stood beside the door, his eyes flitting about anywhere but her, obviously waiting for her to finish locking up. she tried to ignore the fluttering in her chest and smiled awkwardly at him as he finally met her gaze. he shuffled outside before she did, hands in his pockets as he looked up at the nights sky, the silver moon shining between stringy wisps of clouds.

he looked like a scene straight from a movie – a movie where a beautiful boy was up against the weight of the world.

she could see it all clearly now: his scuffed up trainers, canvas bag with dirt stains scraping the bottom of it, the hole in his shirt near the hem. and yet, she knew he had real strength, the quiet sort of kind, that would completely surprise anybody that decided to come at him.

she locked the door behind her, the keys jangling, disturbing the relative quiet of the street. the distant whooping of boisterous students, no doubt drinking and partying away their stress, could be heard a little ways off into the distance. the bright light of the 7-11 across the streets flickered, and she briefly considered buying some cheap dinner before heading home.

she cleared her throat and gave him a small smile. “well, good luck studying.”

toji breathed out a half-hearted laugh. “thanks, i’ll need it.”

“if you’re still having trouble with your calculations, you can always ask me tomorrow,” she reassured, feeling bold enough to assume that his equation would continue to equate to hers.

he seemed to hesitate, as if debating something within his head, and replied, “yeah, sure.” but his tone left much to be desired, and she was already kicking herself for being so direct. “sounds good.”

she bit her lip and mumbled a weak ‘goodnight’ before walking straight into the 7-11 to escape.

| Φ |

the next night in the cafe, after quite a long day of punching numbers into her calculator and her eyes swimming with all sorts of symbols, she was contemplating the sheer power of a supernova explosion.

it was golden hour, and toji had arrived much earlier to study. his deviations from the norm weren't so jarring anymore, and she’d almost come to sort of expect them at this point. he’d actually met her eyes as she prepared his tea, and even offered her a smile and a ‘thank you’.

the time passed on quickly, and soon enough, it was just her, toji, and two other customers – fellow students – inhabiting the same area. it was around 9:17p.m., the usual time for it to be a sacred silence. so when four boys staggered through the door, the bell cried out aggressively from the force of them nearly ripping open the door, completely tearing her from whatever daydreams she had been lost in.

they were cruel, uncaring about her or the other patrons they were disturbing with their raised voices and boisterous behavior. she kept her cool, not letting their jeers and sly comments get to her as she prepared their orders, wanting to get them out of the cafe as soon as she possibly could. one of them was particular unnerving, staring at her more than the others did, a creepy smirk on his lips and dangerous glint in his eyes.

he was like a black hole, and she felt as if she was about to be swallowed alive.

she felt like she couldn’t breath.

as if her body didn’t remember the biomechanical process to allow her to expand her lungs and fill them with sweet air.

were the angels in serious danger of their calculations becoming completely wrong? was her equation to become something twisted and tragic by the end of the night?

when the group left, the evil boy had glanced over his shoulder to give her one last indecipherable look before he took off at a run after his friends. she exhaled shakily, willing her body to remember how to breath, and decided to distract herself by cleaning any and all random nooks and crannies she could find in an effort to distract herself.

oh how she hated them those stupid, idiotic boys – and that their words and manners had such an impact on her.

she’d worked herself into such a state that she hadn’t even noticed toji standing awkwardly at the counter until she turned to sip at her ice-cold tea, and almost yelped in surprise.

“hey,” toji greeted gently, delicate raindrops against a pane of glass. “it’s eleven.”

and so it was as she noted the time on the clock. she wiped her brow and discarded the now completely blackened cleaning cloth into the rubbish. “sorry, i’ll just get the keys now. you head on.”

“no, it’s okay,” he hummed. “take your time. i’ll be outside.”

when she finally finished the usual locking-up routine, toji had resumed that vision of perfection from the previous night, and it was almost impossible to even consider, but he was even more dreamy than before. toji had to have been carved by michealangelo; born of marble and beauty, and forced to to live in this plane of existence. in some rural countryside of japan, at a public university campus, surrounded by bog-standard students trying to scrape through life.

she felt he didn’t really belong here, as if he was already slipping through her fingers, even though he never really was between them to begin with.

“see you tomorrow,” she said in farewell, giving him a small wave and already walking away.

the loud thuds against the pavement reverberated the immediate vicinity, and toji huffed as he caught up to her, “hey, uh, whereabouts do you live?”

“not too far, about a ten-minute walk away,” she replied, almost floored at the fact that he had just run after her. “why?”

“just… you ok if i tag along? i could use the company.”

“…sure?”

they walked side by side in silence, and her mind was going into complete overdrive. she was trying so hard not to be completely floored that somehow, on a random April night, toji fushiguro was walking her home. it was obvious that he was lying about company – perhaps not an outright lie, but it definitely wasn’t the whole truth. time seemed to have passed quicker than it should have, and before she knew it, they had arrived at her accommodation. toji seemed to hover, looking over his shoulder, his body seemingly tense.

“well, this is me,” she announced, jingling her keys for good measure. “huh, are you okay?”

toji was glaring into the darkness, into the twisted labyrinth of twists and turns in between buildings, only really half-listening. “yeah,” he replied tersely, his fists clenching. “you’re staying at home tonight, right?”

she nodded nervously, suddenly hyperaware of the deep, foreboding inkiness of the night. “mhm.”

he turned to her, verdant eyes simmering with something nearly as dark as the sky. “good, i’ll see you tomorrow then.”

“bye, toji.”

but he was already striding off into the labyrinth, off to face the dirt and coal thrown at him, when he himself was made of marble and gold.

| Φ |

a week after toji had walked her home, she had her first final exam, during which the whole time her thoughts were consumed by him.

of toji fushiguro.

toji and his eyes of forests and jade. of his sculpted body, and all the angles and lines that made up his face. his scar that made him golden and perfect, her phi. of how she had seen him on campus the next morning after he walked her home, wearing a white t-shirt and jeans, split knuckles raw and red against the marble of his skin. how he’d finally noticed her outside the cafe for the first time and actually smiled at her.

her friends – more so acquaintances who had happened to become close simply because they were on the same course –had noticed the exchange. when toji had walked well out of earshot, they had bombarded her with hushed whisper-yells of excited “oh my god!" and "how did you even get him to smile? i’ve never even heard him speak.”

and she’d shrugged them off, fending off their curiosity with, “oh, he comes to the cafe all the time, that’s all.”

she didn’t want to get into all the details of toji and her. well, just toji really – there was no 'and her'. their time together was a coveted treasure, and she was strangely possessive over it.

that night, as she handed toji his tea, she plucked up the courage to ask, “what happened to your hands?”

toji automatically looked down at them, flexing them as if even mentioning them made them burn with pain. “oh, nothing, just went a bit too hard at training.”

it didn’t occur to her not to believe him until she was staring blankly at the last question of her exam.

she thought of the evil boy in the cafe, of toji staring down into the darkness and looking over his shoulder as if demons were just behind them, and he was the only thing keeping them at bay. maybe he really was doing just that. maybe that’s why he had continued to walk her home every night, as their graphs continued to overlap even more closely together.

she came out of that exam feeling as if some sort of hidden revelation was waiting to be discovered, and by god, how much she loved to solve for a new equation.

toji was already waiting for her at the cafe when she arrived for her shift, an occurrence steadily getting earlier. he immediately took note of her coming in, and his eyes lit up. she smiled brightly at him, offering him two thumbs up, to which he grinned and pushed away his laptop before approached her.

“so, it went well then?” he prompted, the ghost of a smile still playing on his lips.

she poured them both two mugs of tea, and held hers out towards him. “yeah, it wasn’t too bad actually. cheers to that!”

toji chuckled and clinked his mug with hers, the both of them blowing on the tea before sipping it tentatively. he went back to his table, resuming whatever he had been doing, and leaving her to serve the customers. that was perhaps the only drawback of toji arriving earlier - that their time spent together was interrupted. but it also served as a tantalizing countdown to when it was just the two of them.

obviously, their dynamic had shifted dramatically in the past week, and they’d settled into an easy-flowing sequence – something that felt as if phi would be, so perfectly balanced and positively golden. toji seemed to want to unveil the mystery of his equation to her, but bit by bit, which she didn’t mind at all. she loved slowing figuring out the scale of his axes, plotting all his points together, and finally drawing the curve that connected them all.

toji fushiguro could only be described as steady, a mountain that would never bend or break, his roots so profoundly deep that she had to really dig to see them.

he loved his body, but not in a superficial way, but more that it was something he was in control of and could continually improve. she discovered that he drank green tea not just because it was healthy, but because it was cheap. how most of his gym wear had varying sizes of holes, and he carried around a tiny sewing kit in his bag at all times because he sometimes only noticed one when he was out and about.

most importantly, today he had divulged what he wanted for his future.

“i want to get out of this hellhole as soon as i can,” toji had sighed exaggeratedly, stretching his neck backwards. whenever the last customer had left the cafe, he’d drag a chair over to the edge of the counter. not so directly in front of it that he was blocking any customers, but just enough so that they were sitting across from each other.

she rolled her eyes playfully at him, nibbling at the cap of her pen. “oh, how original. you and every other student in this university.”

“well yeah, obviously, but not as much as me,” he retorted.

“what make you so different, then?”

“i’ve always wanted to leave, even before i got here. i want to to go and live in tokyo.”

“tokyo, huh? and what do you wanna do there?”

“well, eventually i want to open my own dojo and teach jujitsu, but i’d probably have to start out as an instructor.”

“oh wow, you’ve got a solid sort of plan. have you always wanted to do that?”

“yeah, i really hate it here.”

and he’d gone quiet, but she didn’t press him. instead, she focused on her textbook because there were still exams to be studied for, and waited for toji to come back to her. where he went in those moments, she didn’t know. there was something lurking in the shadow of the mountain, and he still seemed to be fighting against it even now.

she knew he’d come back to her when he’d lean in closer, cheek against his palm, and try to make sense of whatever diagrams appeared on the pages she was reading.

“that looks cool,” toji murmured, pointing at whatever had piqued his interest. “what is it?”

and she discovered, not that it was a real shock, that toji was so very curious. he wanted to know things, he liked to know how things worked, and he was really clever. she would explain as best as she could, and toji would follow along diligently, nodding his head every so often and asking the occasional question. many people probably underestimated just how smart he really was, but she never did.

“this is a diagram that sort of shows what einstein’s theory of general relativity is all about.”

“ah right, it’s pretty famous then isn’t it? cuz it’s einstein's.”

“haha, i suppose so, yeah.”

“what’s it about?”

she bit her lip and tilted her head, placing her finger as a makeshift bookmark and closed the book between her fingers. “it’s about… how really big objects like planets and stars cause gravity by bending space-time.”

“bending space-time is gravity?”

“it’s because the bigger object has caused smaller ones to be pulled closer to it, if that makes sense.”

toji nodded slowly and laughed. “it’s a bit over my head. how you perfectly understand it is beyond me though.”

“i wouldn’t say perfectly,” she replied bashfully. “but i think it’s a beautiful theory.”

“you think every theory is beautiful.”

“haha! no, well yes, but that’s besides the point!”

“well, what is the point?”

“that something has had such a profound impact, because it’s so big and larger than life that it’s impacting all the other small things around it and pulling them in closer to it.”

toji smiled, the kind of smile he had when he was more vulnerable and soft, when his barriers were down and forgotten about. the way he looked at her made her body jolt with thousands of little lightning bolts.

“yeah,” he mused thoughtfully. “yeah, that is kinda beautiful.”

| Φ |

five days.

that’s how long it had been since she’d seen toji, and she missed him more than she cared to admit, even to herself.

it wasn’t ideal, right smack in the middle of the exam season, to be so distracted by a boy, but toji fushiguro wasn’t just any boy. he was the boy who she spent every day with, and the past two weeks had been a rosy dream as they talked more and more. it was now the middle of may, and she was almost done with sitting all of her exams. she should have been thinking of her future, about a solid career plan, and where she wanted to live.

but no, all she could think of was the laws of physics and toji fushiguro, and counting down the days until she could see him again.

he was currently out on a placement excursion, teaching ten-year-old kids during their regular sports curriculum. it was almost comical, and she couldn’t help but smile to herself whenever she thought of toji surrounded by a bunch of wide-eyed children. he’d already been groaning about it before he left, about this and that, and how much he didn’t like silly kids and their silly faces.

“what are you smiling about?” one of her friends whispered suspiciously, leaning in closer to her so as not to disturb anybody else in the library.

she shook her head, and told a little lie, “oh, just about how close we are to finishing uni. it’s sort of unbelievable.”

her friend raised a brow, clearly not believing her. “sure, and it doesn’t have anything to do with fushiguro?”

“ugh, why do you keep bringing him up all the time? i told you there’s nothing going on there.”

“i’ll believe that when i stop seeing you smiling like an idiot in love. now, c’mon and focus on this.”

love?

no, no. it wasn’t love.

not quite yet, at least, but she knew it was getting there.

she felt a slight tremor in her chest, traveling all the way to the tips of her fingers and then the ends of her toes like an electric current across a wire. it was unfathomably scary to admit it, but it was nothing but the truth.

she was falling for toji fushiguro.

she ducked her head down, her pencil scratching against her notepad as she attempted yet another sample question, endeavouring to distract herself from all thoughts of him for the rest of the study session. as soon as she had to leave for the cafe, she practically shoved her things into her bag and almost ran towards it. toji should be back today, with it being friday and the school week coming to an end.

when she got there, her manager was behind the counter in the midst of serving a customer, and the cafe was reasonably busy. the overwhelming aroma of coffee wafted through her nose, warm and inviting, and familiar. she wondered if toji thought of her whenever he smelt coffee.

she certainly hoped that he did.

“great you’re here,” her manager beamed, handing her an apron to tie around her waist. “i was wondering if you would like to take some time off whenever you finish your exams? my nephew is coming to visit, and i’d like to put him to work instead of him lazing about all day.”

she was immediately hit with a sheer sense of panic. if she didn’t work, then how else was she supposed to see toji? it was so utterly embarrassing and pathetic, that she was so enamored with this boy that she was willing to work just to see him. but then she thought about what would happen after graduation, and how they realistically would not be seeing each other – perhaps ever again.

“sure, that’s alright with me,” is what she finally said after a moment's hesitation, but her manager obviously picked up on her hesitant tone.

“never have i ever seen a student who didn’t want time off work,” they chuckled, hand on their hip. “this has got to do with that dark haired boy, doesn’t it?”

heat creeped up into her cheeks, and she busied herself with pouring a cup of coffee for a customer, as her manager gazed at her in bemusement. “no,” she squeaked out.

“oh to be young again,” they said in a sing-song voice. “don’t worry about not working though, i’m sure that boy would follow you anywhere you go. i’ve seen the way he looks at you.”

she didn’t quite know how to respond to that.

when the moon had risen high into the sky and the shop was empty, she waited and waited for toji. he was late, and he should have been there by now. or maybe he wouldn’t come? she thought it might have been quite bold to assume he would have tonight. he was probably tired from a whole week of teaching, and maybe he had decided to just go home and rest. she couldn’t blame him for that.

but that didn’t stop the soul-crushing disappointment from tearing her in two.

the sky must have felt her distress, because soon enough the pitter-patter of rain falling against the roof ensued. maybe metaphysical pain was real, and maybe she would spend her whole life trying to prove her theory. what a tragic future, she thought, and sniffled as she locked the door behind her.

and then she turned around, and toji was standing there, his chest heaving.

for a moment, they just faced each other. he was all wet, black hoodie all soggy and weighed down, sticking to him like a second skin. his green eyes were alight, looking at her with a mixture of nerves and something else she couldn’t place. toji exhaled shakily, his lashes fluttering as he blinked fast.

“sorry,” he mumbled. “i tried to get here sooner, but there was an accident and my train was delayed.”

her heart melted; she felt as if she was one with the rain puddles in the dips of the pavement, one with the water pooling beneath toji’s feat. could it be love already? maybe her loved ones, wiser and older than her would have said it was, but she felt too young to know it.

and yet, here was a boy standing in front of her, who had run through the rain and labyrinth of buildings to get here.

“oh, toji,” she gushed, instinctively opening up her umbrella and shielding him from the torrent of the sky. “you’ll get sick.”

she didn’t realize just how close they were together, trapped underneath the tiny space, until toji was staring down at her. a water droplet dropped from his hair, over the ridge of his nose, caressing over his cupids bow and parted lips, all the way down to his chin and onto her lip.

she shivered, feeling as if their lips may as well have touched.

“it doesn’t matter,” toji whispered, in that deep, almost sad tone that belonged only to him, and she finally admitted internally just how much she missed his voice. “it’s only water.”

they stood there staring at each other for a heartbeat too long, until she broke the silence with, “let’s get out of here.”

and then they set off at a slow, shuffling pace, the backs of their hands and shoulders brushing against each other, and she thought a live spark might just ignite off her skin. the rain sounded like little stones tumbling off the top of the umbrella, and the smell of the wet pavement served as little momentary distractions against the all-consuming feeling of toji beside her.

she didn’t want it to end, and so when they reached the entrance to her accommodation, and turned to face him. “you can’t go home like this. do you want to come inside and dry off?”

toji’s eyebrows shot up, and he almost looked like a deer in the headlights. he was fighting within himself; she could see it in the way his hand flexed, his knuckle touching hers. “i’ll just make your floor wet though,” he muttered, looking down at the ground.

“it doesn’t matter,” she urged, and added a desperate. “please.”

that seemed to snap him out of whatever internal deliberation he was having, and toji nodded. “okay then.”

she couldn’t help the smile that spread across her face, almost immediately turning towards the door to hide most of it from him, taking out the keys from her pocket and fumbled with one hand to grab the correct one for her door. his proximity behind her was beyond distracting, her back felt like the south side of a magnet, and toji was her north. it would be too easy to fall back into him, and so she endeavored to root her feet into the ground and resist the urge.

she finally opened it and they passed through the unwelcoming vibes of the main lobby, toji’s shoes squelching loudly with every step he took. the student behind the desk glancing uninterestedly up at them, and then sharply looked back up, staring with saucer eyes at toji in tow behind her.

she once again fought with her keys, the sound echoing throughout the empty corridor, and pushed open the door to her shared dorm. it was compact but efficient for two people to live comfortably together. her flatmate was curled up on the sofa with her boyfriend, shui, in the main living area, only lit up by whatever was on the tv.

“roomie!” her roommate called out, oblivious to toji’s presence. “how was studying today?”

“yeah, great,” she answered, glancing back at toji awkwardly standing by the door. “you?”

“all goo- oh! oh. hello there!” her roommate finally registered toji’s presence as the door clicked shut behind him, immediately jumping out of shiu’s arms, who also looked back over his shoulder in intrigue.

“hey,” toji mumbled, a puddle of water now collecting over the white tiles.

shiu waved his hand at toji, who flicked his chin upwards in acknowledgment. she immediately turned to her roommate, “hey, you think you have something from shui’s he could borrow?”

her roommate sprung into action, scrambling off the sofa. “yeah, yeah! sorry! i’ll be right back.”

toji remained where he was, stationary as a rock, his emerald orbs flicking every which way. she wondered what he was thinking, but she was too consumed by the monumental event that he was really standing there in her living room to dwell on it.

her roommate burst out of her room, smiling brightly as she handled a bundle of clothes to toji. “there you go! the bathroom’s just to the left there.”

he strode straight to the bathroom, his eyes meeting hers just before he closed the door.

“girl,” her roommate excitedly whispered, vigorously grabbing her forearms. “what the- what is going on? i didn’t know you and fushiguro were together.”

“we’re not together,” she rebuked, biting her lip. “we’re just… friends.”

her roommate scoffed, nearly bouncing up and down in glee. “shiu, you know this is the first time she’d brought a boy home.”

shiu hummed quietly, an unlit cigarette dangling between his lips. “that’s great, babe.”

her roommate scoffed, rolling her eyes at him, and her grip tightened just a fraction. “is he spending the night? oh my god, you both should stay and watch a movie with us.”

“oh, i don’t think he’ll stay…”

“girl, just go and get changed into something else, and i’ll talk to him when he comes out. you know people can’t say no to me.”

before she knew it, she was being pushed into her room, and the door was slammed behind her. she breathed out shakily, sliding against her wardrobe with her head in her hands. her heart was racing, and fuck fuck fuck, what the hell was she thinking bringing toji here?

she heard the bathroom door open, and the quiet baritone of toji’s voice mingled with her roommate's bubbly one. the words ‘pizza’ and ‘movie’ were mentioned, and she rushed to shimmy off her clothes and into her slightly better-looking loungewear, checking her hair was presentable enough. when she quietly opened her door, toji had his back towards her, wearing a black t-shirt that was a size too small and grey joggers that hugged his thick thighs.

he turned to face her, and the tense look on his face relaxed. her roommate piped up from the sofa, “hey! i was just saying that toji should stay and watch a movie with us while his clothes dry.”

she bit the inside of her cheek, and softly said to him, “you don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

toji looked between her and her roommate, before replying with a low, “i’ll stay.”

her roommate clapped her hands together. “great! i’ll order the pizza.”

she walked over to the adjacent sofa to shiu, and hesitantly sat down on one edge of the sofa. toji followed and lowered himself onto the other empty side, leaving a space of everything and nothing between them. soon enough, her roommate returned and plonked herself right in between shiu’s spread legs, shuffling through the channels until she settled on a movie. the pizza arrived some time into the movie, and the four of them helped themselves. she couldn’t help but steal glances at toji, his face illuminated by the tv's glow as he brought a cheesy slice of pizza to his mouth, his expression blank and unreadable.

whatever way the angels must be solving her cosmic equation, they were obviously applying toji’s formula. their numbers were intertwining, creating a new constant, and she wondered what sort of symbol would represent the two of them.

toji met her gaze, and the corner of his lip curled upward.

after the movie had ended, her roommate had ushered a bemused shiu into her room and wiggled her fingers in an excited goodbye. “shh,” she’d giggled, while shiu rolled his eyes at her, tugging on the sleeve of her pyjama top. “don’t make too much noise, you two.”

and with that, she shut the door, leaving them alone.

together.

in her living room, on the same sofa.

“do you, uh, want to watch something else?” she murmured, her legs folded beneath her.

toji breathed out a quiet laugh. “please. i’m sorry, but that movie was actually so bad.”

she nearly snorted, clapping her hand over her mouth in an effort to contain her giggle. “yeah, it was pretty shit.”

the clock above the tv read 1:42 a.m., and she wondered if toji was tired. she assumed he would be after waking up so early to teach a bunch of energetic children. “you want some tea? i was just going to make some,” she asked, her ankles cracking as she rose from the sofa.

toji slapped his thighs, and steadily got up as well. “sure, but i should really get going soon. i don’t want to overstay my welcome.”

“spend the night,” she blurted out before she could stop herself. “none of us would mind, i promise.”

she then stupidly, pathetically even, held out her pinky towards him. toji frowned, clearly confused. “what are you doing?”

“a pinky promise.”

“oh right, yeah.”

he curled his pinky around hers, and a tiny electric shock sparked between them. she hissed and drew her hand back, but their eyes met, and they both erupted into a fit of hushed giggles, which only served to make them laugh harder.

“okay, you stick something on tv and i’ll make the tea,” she grinned, her bare feet softly padding on the floor as she went over to the kitchen.

as the kettle boiled, she watched toji flicking aimlessly through the channels, his face contorting when he came across something he didn’t like. he settled back onto the sofa, legs spread out as he reclined, mop of thick hair resting against the armrest. the shock of having him her in her home had faded now, and it felt almost natural for them to be around each other in this way. she brought over his mug filled with green tea, and he looked up at her gratefully as he took it from her. she sat down on the other sofa, stretching her legs out. toji’s eyes were slightly red, and he was yawning great big yawns, with the mug delicately balanced on his chest and one arm behind his head. the tv was on a low volume, and she wanted to pause time, even just for a while.

“hey, just lemme know when you wanna sleep. you can sleep in my room,” she murmured, hands grasping both sides of her mug, feet rubbing against each other.

toji looked over at her, a scowl playing on his features. “and where are you going to sleep, the sofa?”

“well, yeah.”

“no.”

“but you’re the guest!”

“shut up, no.”

“bu-”

“no.”

she huffed playfully, throwing a hand up in surrender, to which toji smirked at. they sat in comfortable silence, watching some silly competition show play on. despite the tea, she could feel herself becoming sleepier by the minute. she looked over at toji, who seemed perfectly content to lie there and watch the contestants make complete fools of themselves.

“bet that guy’s gonna fall off,” he mumbled, his arms folded over his chest. she only hummed in response, her cheek squished against a pillow, and toji grunted, “you the sleepy one now?”

she laughed, which interrupted her yawn. “maybe.”

“go to sleep then. don’t stay up for me.”

oh, how much he didn’t know about how long she would stay up for him, and how long she would really wait. but she couldn’t say anything except, “you sure?”

“yeah, yeah, i’m cool here.”

“hold on, lemme get you a blanket and pillow before i go.”

she returned promptly with them, kneeling down to place them on the floor beside him. when she looked up, she didn’t realize just how close his face was to hers. toji’s eyes flicked down to her lips, then back up to her eyes.

she gulped.

“good night,” he whispered.

“night,” was all she could muster before overcoming the magnetism between them and walking away.

| Φ |

the final stretch.

a flurry of pens on paper, pounding hearts, a tripwire of nerves, and then…

“time’s up! everyone please put down your pens. the exam is officially concluded.”

she leaned back in her seat, a sheer sense of awe crawling over her. this was it, she was done. her last university exam, all of it was finally over after three long years. her fellow students were of similar sentiment, with wide, nervous smiles, as if they all couldn’t really believe this was happening, as the smacks of numerous pats on the back reverberated through the hall.

the sun was shining on her face as she exited the exam hall, warm and inviting, promising that the hope for the future wasn’t unfounded. they were all high on life, with the thought that the world was their oyster, and they would all be lucky enough to find their own pearls.

“oh my god,” her friend groaned exaggeratedly, hands on her knees as if she’d just run a marathon. “it’s over.”

"yeah, it is," she hummed in agreement, basking in the sheer awe of the moment.

her friend barked out a laugh and clasped her hands together. “right then, i’m going to get ready for the party tonight. you are coming, right?”

“yeah of course,” she confirmed, shocking even herself that she would be going out. “we can only celebrate this once.”

her friend squealed, pulling her into a big hug before breaking away and trotting off. “bring fushiguro! maybe you both can get drunk and finally kiss,” she called out over her shoulder.

a few students looked over at her, and the embarrassment was almost crushing. she’d come to understand now that everyone on campus knew who toji fushiguro was. he was renowned for his adonis figure, the kind of handsome that only existed in fiction, and the fact he most certainly wasn’t associated with any girls or went to any parties.

until perhaps now, of course.

later that night at the cafe, as she fidgeted at her spot behind the counter, she plucked up the courage to ask toji, “so, you can totally say no if you don’t want to come, but there’s a party that’s happening in my building to celebrate the end of exams.”

toji looked up from reading her quantum mechanics textbook she had brought and grunted, “a party, huh. you going?”

“yeah, i’ll be heading over after closing up,” she replied, a bit deflated that he hadn’t seemed to notice she had dressed up quite a bit from her usual attire.

he hummed, nodded, and went back to reading. “i’ll see how i feel.”

that was no definitive reply, and she picked apart his usual baritone and analyzed in her mind as she went through a back-and-forth internal debate, trying to deduce some sort of meaning from it. she’d arrived to the party about an hour ago, and she was still thinking about it as she sipped away at some fruit-flavored punch that was far too delicious and dangerous for someone who didn't really drink. her lips were already numb, and the creeping giddiness was making her feel the joyousness of all that life is and would be.

her course mates had their arms around her shoulders, all of them loudly singing, more slurring really, in a circle to whatever song was thumping through the speakers. a part of her wanted to loose herself in the silliness of it all; it gave her courage and made her seem capable of things she would never have even dreamed of sober.

“oh my- don’t look, but fushiguro is actually here,” her friend slurred through her ear, nearly shouting and sending a ringing noise piercing through her eardrum.

she turned around, and sure enough, there was toji fushiguro pushing his way through the throng of students dancing in the cramped apartment they had decided to congregate in. his green eyes met hers, and relief ran over his features. it was cheesy, as well as completely impossible, but time seemed stretch and distort, slowing to a crawl the closer he got to her. her friend released her from the circle, giving her a calculated shove and sending her stumbling over her own feet.

straight into toji’s waiting arms.

“oh, fuck,” he shouted as he caught her, holding her forearms in a firm grip. “you okay?”

she stared up at him, the alcohol running through her blood making her lips spread into a big, dopey smile, and giggled, “yeah, you’re here.”

she could have sworn the tips of his ears turned pink, but the flashing, multicoloured lights made it too hard to make it out properly. it took her far too long to realize that toji still hadn’t let go of her arms, even as her punch had spilled on them both, and as even more people stared and bumped into them.

“you want a drink?” she shouted, standing up on her tiptoes to reach his ear.

toji grimaced. “no thanks, i don’t drink.”

“oh yeah, you’re a proper athlete and all,” she hiccuped, her body flushing with heat and the sound of the music.

he only laughed at that, his emerald eyes twinkling with possibilities.

| Φ |

“be careful,” toji hissed as he quickly moved to steady her as she tripped over the doorway into her dorm. “jesus, you’re a mess.”

“i-hiccup! no, no i’m a ss-shtar,” she wallowed, chuckling madly at her own antics. “ssstar! star.”

“yes, yes, a star, definitely,” toji mumbled, closing the door behind them, and maneuvering her securely along with him.

“hehe, am i youuuur star, toji?” she giggled, her legs giving out from underneath her, suddenly turning into jelly.

he snorted, using her strength to lift her off the floor and into his arms. “yes, you are. now c’mon, let’s get you to bed.”

her head rolled against his chest, her head swimming in a pool of red stars and blue moons, all of them circulating around a green sun. “go onnn, you have to say i’m yo-hiccup-ur star!”

“you’re my star. now c’mon, get into bed.”

as soon as he laid her underneath her duvet, her head started to pound and swirl the moment she closed her eyes. her stomach lurched like she was actually free-falling, and she groaned loudly. toji kneeled down in front of her, his face oh so very close to hers.

“what’s wrong? you wanna get sick?” he asked, forest eyes deep and ethereal as they took in her probably smeared makeup.

“i close my eyes and it feels bad,” she mumbled, feeling childish as her silliness became too much for even her not-so-sober state to listen to.

toji settled into a more comfortable sitting position, and she could feel his breath caressing her face. “tell me about something then, don’t think about it.”

“like-hiccup what?”

“anything. talk to me about stars, or whatever.”

“stars, really? okay… did you know, that there’s -hic- all different colors?”

“no, i didn’t actually. why’s there so many?”

“cuz they’re all different temperatures, that’s why.”

“that’s really cool. tell me about all the colors.”

“ohh, well there’s blue stars, those're the hottest one. and then there’s…”

| Φ |

she woke up to a throbbing headache and a burning stomach.

her eyes ached as light filtered through the opaque grey curtains of the window, and the white wall beside her bed was the first thing she saw when she finally peeked her eyes open. it was dreadfully plain and uninteresting, but rolling over to the other side to avoid it was another sort of unnecessarily difficult task.

she almost threw up when she saw toji lying there on the floor.

“toji?” she whispered urgently. “toji?! are you awake?”

he grunted in annoyance and rolled over to face her, his midnight hair all messy on a pillow he had procured from who knows where, although there was no blanket to be seen. the scarred side of his lip twitching as he flitted somewhere in between the realm of dreams and sleep.

oh how her heart was absolutely swooning at the sight.

she smiled to herself, quietly watching him sleep and quickly forgetting about how ill she felt, because none of that mattered. only that she could hear the scratching of quills, ruffling feathers, and the soft music playing, telling her that this was it.

she was in love with toji fushiguro.

there was no other way around it.

no more denying it to herself or anyone else – she loved him.

the boy who slept on a rock-hard floor beside her all night, listening to her drunk and probably terrible explanations about stars and who knows what else.

green orbs peeked out from hooded lids, and toji mumbled, “what’re you lookin at?”

she bit her lip, trying to contain her giddiness at her own sudden revelation, and reached over to poke his hand. “you. why didn’t you sleep on the sofa?”

toji's eyes fully opened, and he grabbed her finger and tugged gently. “cause, what if you needed to get sick and tripped in the dark? you might be a star, but you don’t actually shine, you know?”

“hah, you’re hilarious,” she retorted, letting him waggle her finger with his hand. “what else did i say, then?”

“that i’m the nicest person on earth for staying with you, and that i deserve free green tea from now on.”

“chancer, i definitely didn’t.”

“but how do you know you definitely didn’t?”

a loud knock at her door jolted them both out of their banter, and her roommate belted from the other side, “oi, lovebirds! we’re all going to get breakfast, want to come with?”

she looked expectantly at toji, who shrugged and mouthed ‘sure’, and answered back, “yeah, be out in a sec!”

“lovebirds, huh?” toji mumbled, as he intertwined their fingers, the corner of his lip curling upwards.

oh, angels in heaven above…

“shut up.”

| Φ |

the month of june was of blue skies and scorching pavements.

of far too many melted vanilla and matcha ice-creams dripping onto their clothes. of heat mirages and the cool, sweet relief of air-conditioned cafes and shopping malls. of lying on dried-out, yellowed grass at night, their sweaty hands firmly holding each other, while looking up at the midnight sky and divulging all their deepest secrets.

it was when she learned how toji got the scar on his lip.

he was twiddling with the hem of her baby pink t-shirt, not quite looking at her. “my cousins used to bully me when i was a kid,” he admitted quietly.

her gaze snapped over to him, soul aching for him. “toji, that’s awful.”

birds twittered loudly in a nearby tree.

then, it was quiet for a while.

she didn’t know what to say really, except, “did you tell anyone?”

toji shook his head, trailing a finger up and down her bare arm. “my parents kinda dismissed it like it wasn’t happening. i think they didn’t want to stir things within the family, even when the fuckers took it too far one day and caused this."

he paused, took a shaky breath, and with a voice tinged with bitterness he continued, “they held me down and threatened me with razor blades, and one of 'em accidentally slipped.”

“i’m so sorry,” she whispered, not knowing quite else to say, and rolled over onto her side to face him.

“it’s alright, i’m over it,” toji mumbled, returning to lying on his back, his arm behind his head. “but it’s why i've been studying so hard, so i can get the hell out of here. my family lives quite close by, you see.”

“right, and tokyo is about as far away as you can get.”

“yeah, pretty much.”

“and that’s why you didn’t speak to anyone at uni. you knew you'd just be moving on anyways, so there was no point making friends."

“mhm.”

she chewed the inside of her cheek. “so, what made me different?”

toji turned his head to face her, his gaze holding a gentleness she'd never seen before, “because… you’re you,” he said, as if that alone would explain everything.

she looked away, staring up at the sky again. it was silent for some time before she finally asked, “have i ever explained what quantum entanglement is to you before?”

“don’t think so, but go on.”

“it’s when two particles are so deeply connected, that it doesn’t matter even if they’re separated. the connection will always be there, and they’ll always affect each other. the distance between them doesn't matter either, because they still belong to each other.”

toji was quiet for a long time.

she wondered if he understood the deeper meaning behind what she was actually trying to say. she had never explicitly said to him that she loved him, and perhaps this was the only way she could say it - in the only way she knew how to. it was too late to turn back now anyway.

suddenly, toji pushed his upper body off the ground and sat upwards, his back turned to her.

he was breathing fast, too fast, and her heart started to beat frantically.

“toji?” she called out, fear lacing her words, her heart breaking in two at the mere thought of him rejecting all of this this – rejecting her.

toji turned to her, and whispered with glossy eyes, his words almost barely audible, “it’s you. it’s you. it’s you, and i love you.”

with that, he practically fell on top of her, their lips finally meeting in what seemed like an inevitable occurrence. like an eclipse or the death of a star, but none of that mattered. because here she was, with toji fushiguro.

and he loved her.

he loved her, as her lips parted for him and their tongues swirled together, and she thought he tasted of vanilla.

she loved him, as he tenderly held the back of her head, and she melted into him like the ice creams they savoured every day.

they loved each other, as their hands dipped underneath their shirts, exploring the dips and valleys of each other's bodies.

the universe was never more perfect than in that very moment.

| Φ |

the very next week, they went on their first official date.

“i’ll swing by your place at eight o’clock, is that okay?” toji asked her over the phone, as she lazed about in her bed in a dream-like, rosy trance.

she hummed, rolling onto her back and kicking her legs in the air. “sure. what are we doing?”

“never you mind your brilliant little head about it. just be ready, okay?”

“hehe, okay.”

“okay, i’ll see you later… i love you.”

“i love you too.”

with that, he ended the call, and she was left counting down the hours until she would see him. she got ready in good time, being careful to shave every bit of hair on her body, being meticulous as she plucked her brows perfectly. she hadn’t thought of sex since her subpar experience with it during her first year, and had since locked it out of her mind. not that she even thought they would be doing something like that.

at least, not until she had spied a box of condoms under the bathroom sink cabinet.

and now, it was all she could think about.

just after eight p.m., there was a prompt knock on the door, and she breathed out shakily before opening it. and there was her boy, her toji, holding a bouquet of half a dozen red roses, with a blush gracing his cheeks nearly as colorful as the blooms in his hands.

“hey,” he greeted with a handsome, crooked smile, his eyes sweeping up and down her figure. “you look beautiful. i hope you like italian food.”

and all her bundle of nerves dissipated. “yeah,” she replied breathlessly. “i do.”

toji took her to a small restaurant not too far from her dorm, roughly a fifteen-minute walk away. it was quirky, with cobblestone walls and a warm ambience, designed really for students with not much money in their pockets.

but it was just perfect.

it was natural, the way it was always meant to be. with her sitting there in a dainty summer dress, and toji in his usual black t-shirt and jeans, who was looking at her like she was his whole universe.

after they were done with their meal, he’d shooed her away from even trying to pay for the bill, which he took care of in battered notes and loose change. then, they walked hand in hand in the warm summer breeze back to her dorm. she prattled on excitedly about how she was looking for internships at various firms in tokyo, and toji was smiling as he listened to her finally start to figure out the answers to her future equation.

though, maybe not just her future.

they finally entered the safe space of her dorm, her roommates absence filling it with a sad eeriness. she looked at him shyly, fiddling with her fingers behind her back, and asked, “you want some tea?”

toji hummed, taking his shoes off at the door. “sure, thanks.”

she was grateful he said yes, it gave her something to do with her shaky hands. she reached upwards to the cabinet to grab their mugs. the two twin beige, somewhat grey, mugs that always sat beside each other. they clinked loudly against the counter, and she flicked the kettle switch on.

and then, toji’s warm hands were on her hips, and her mind went blank.

“i love you,” he mumbled, his lips soft and wet as they trailed against the curve of her neck. “you’re my star, and i love you.”

he was repeating ‘i love you’ like a mantra he couldn’t quite believe was true, and even a part of her was still amazed that it actually was. she turned to face him, tea well and truly forgotten about, and wrapped her arms around his neck to place her lips between his. toji hummed gently into her mouth, his hands sliding down to grip her behind, pulling her closer into him.

it was a nebula explosion after that.

a stumbling mess of them making their way to her bedroom with their lips interlocked, bodies pressed close together as they ripped their clothes off each other. giggling like naughty children when she struggled to tug her dress off.

“you’re hopeless,” toji groaned playfully, tapping her nose with his finger, before smoothly sliding her dress from her body.

she pouted, crossing her arms over her bare chest. “am not.”

he shushed her softly, pulling her into him once more in a fiery kiss, and they fell gently onto the bed. toji kneaded her breasts, eliciting a moan from her as his mouth traveled slowly from her lips, down to her neck and caressing her collarbone, flicking her hard nipple with his tongue.

“hmm, you feelin good, baby?” toji murmured, looking up at her with hooded lids, forest eyes blazing with desire reserved just for her. “not too much?”

"n-no," she stuttered, fisting his black locks between her fingers, scratching the back of his scalp and making him groan.

toji parted his lips, his breath blowing softly and tickling her nipple, and she shivered and slightly arched her back in anticipation. he teased her with his tongue, licking her hard bud with a featherlight touch, and she gasped, “toji, please.”

with that, he took her nipple in his mouth, steaming hot and so wet as his tongue swirled around it. she moaned loudly, arching herself into his body, and he placed a strong hand on the small of her back to pull her in.

she thought that if toji pulled her in any closer, they would surely melt into each other and become one.

her legs parted of their own accord, and her hips were pure instinct as she ground her slick pussy on his thigh, the ridges of the powerful muscle stimulating her perfectly and sending jolts of pleasure through her core. toji smiled against her nipple, giving it one last suck, letting it go with a dirty pop! and traveled back up to her face, his lips brushing hers.

“who knew,” he whispered, pressing soft kisses along the bridge of her nose. “that all this would happen from drinking green tea.”

she giggled, and held his face in her hands, bringing his lips back home to hers. “i need you, toji,” she breathed out, breaking their kiss. “can i have you?”

toji smiled, touched his forehead to hers and murmured, “you can always have me, sweetheart. tell me what you want.”

“i want you,” she begged, her arousal making her more mindlessly desperate by the second. “i’m yours, toji. make me yours.”

he snapped.

his lips captured hers once more in a searing kiss so molten hot, she was sure she would burn and be consumed by his fire. toji’s hands moved down to himself, freeing his hard cock from his boxers with a little slap noise as it hit against her lower stomach. he pressed his hips into her and settled in between her legs, his hard and flushed dick feeling a thousand times hotter against her skin than his lips did.

toji moved his hips, his cock wetting against her folds, the slick sounds lewd and utterly intoxicating, as he pushed further into her with every back and forth motion.

further.

and further.

she moaned loudly as he finally sunk deep into her wet walls, painfully slow and deliciously agonising.

“oh, fuck baby,” toji groaned, his face in her neck, as he buried himself to the hilt. “you’re -ah!- so fuckin beautiful. my beautiful girl.”

her nails dug into his shoulder, and toji bent her legs to fold them, rutting further into her. she whined at the deeper connection, feeling his cock flex inside her. he stilled with their chests pressed tightly together, and she could feel his heart pumping hard.

“t-toji,” she gasped, throwing her head back as she felt his balls against the curve of her ass.

the tip of his dick rubbing against that spongy spot that made her see stars behind her eyelids. he started shallowly thrusting, deliberately slow, holding her head so lovingly she felt she was going to burst.

this was heaven, she thought.

toji was heaven – her phi.

the golden ratio, found in all remarkable and beautiful things on the planet.

all her life, all the combinations of numbers, formulas, and sequences had to have been carefully calculated to lead up to him, to this moment.

toji sucked and kissed just below her ear, his muscled thighs flexing as he increased the pace just a fraction, and she clenched around him, feeling the veins of his cock rubbing exquisitely inside her. she tightly squeezed his bicep as the sounds of her squelching pussy and slapping of their bodies going plap! plap! plap! filled the room, and the smell of sex and toji wafted through her nose.

“look at us,” he cooed, stroking her cheek. “makin such a mess on your bed.”

she looked down to where their bodies met, and sure enough, there was a ring of white cream at the base of toji’s cock pumping in and out of her, dripping messily down onto a damp spot on the bedsheets beneath them. his toned abs had a thin sheen of sweat, and they flexed and rippled as he really started to pound into her.

her pussy clenched around him again at the thought of him chasing his pleasure high from her body, and she kissed him fervently. toji moaned into her mouth, his balls tightening more and more. her orgasm was exponentially building, like the pressure of boiling water molecules hitting against the walls of a sealed container.

“let go, baby” toji murmured huskily, his hips snapping at an even faster pace. “let go.”

and she did, throwing her head back and almost screaming, her legs shaking violently.

a supernova imploded somewhere at the other end of a distant universe. stars flew across the blackness behind her squeezed-shut eyelids, leaving behind a glittering trail of stardust. toji groaned into her neck, and she felt hot ropes of his cum spurt against her walls, his legs the only thing powering his body through his high.

she wrapped her arms around his neck as he stilled, half-hard cock still plugged inside her. they were huffing and panting into each other, their shared sweat making them stick to each other.

“i love you,” toji whispered, full of reverence, full of life.

she kissed him softly, rubbing their noses together. “i love you too.”

| Φ |

it was early july now; their exam results had been released, and graduations were finally right around the corner.

“you should go toji!” she exclaimed, cupping her mug of lukewarm tea with both hands, watching him intently from her spot on the sofa as he did some stretches. “you’ve worked so hard for this.”

he grunted, but from effort or annoyance, she couldn’t tell. “i can’t be bothered, seriously, and i’m not interested in standing on a stage and be the only person without parents cheering them on.”

she didn’t press it further after that.

instead, she cast one last longing look at his muscles rippling as he stretched, and resumed perusing through internship advertisements on her laptop.

they had settled into an oddly domestic routine for the past few weeks. she would work in the cafe during the day, while toji trained ever harder at the gym. he would swing by and pick her up as she finished her shift in the early hours of the afternoon, and they would cook dinner and hang around the dorm. the weather was getting far too hot for leisurely walks during the day, and so they had mostly passed the time by making love and talking about everything and anything at all.

toji kissed the top of her head, squatting behind her, quite clearly finished with his stretches as his eyes skimmed over the tab open on her laptop. “still nothin, baby?”

she sighed, rubbing his hand that was gently massaging her shoulders. “no.”

“you’ll find something, don’t worry. it’ll happen. let’s just focus on celebrating your graduation next week.”

her graduation.

she still couldn’t believe it.

next week, she would be graduating, and the week after that, saying goodbye to her accommodation – her home – for the last three years of her life. saying farewell to her manager and the little cafe that had been so good to her, and not just because it had brought her and toji together. the stress was mounting to find something, anything, in tokyo, because she refused to even entertain the idea of going backwards and returning home.

and because she absolutely could not bear to be so far away from toji either.

the thought alone was soul-crushing.

she heard the shower faucet running in the bathroom, and a wave of loneliness hit her. why exactly, she wasn’t sure, but she chased after toji into the bathroom.

he stared as she burst in, a thick brow raised in startled confusion, as soap suds trickled down his face and back. “what? you find somethin?”

clothes be damned, she stepped into the shower and kissed him with all the energy and emotion she could muster. toji was taken aback for a second, hesitatingly circling his arms around her, and then melting into her.

it was then that she decided.

she would rather her body combust, and all her atoms disperse into the atmosphere before even trying to live without toji fushiguro.

| Φ |

it was the night before her graduation, and she was a nervous wreck.

“oh, toji,” she gushed, dipping the razor she was holding into a bowl of soapy water and giving it a little shake. “i hate getting up in front of people. i might just not go. it doesn’t really matter anyway, does it?”

toji hummed, brows furrowed at her, but remained unable to respond unless he wanted to get soap in his mouth. she flicked away the excess water from the razor and carefully shaved underneath toji’s chin. he’d really let his stubble grow out, and since he was adamant about attending her graduation, it meant that the scruff would just have to go.

“nugh- y’re goin,” toji mumbled through pursed lips. “y’re too shmart t'not go.”

“and you’re too smart to have missed yours, but here we are,” she retorted, her tongue poking out from the side of her lip in concentration. “now stop talking, or you’ll get cut.”

toji grumbled and huffed from his nose, sending a soap sud flying onto her bare arm, and he snorted in amusement. she was sat on top of the kitchen counter next to the sink, with toji standing in between her legs, his hands kneading her plush thighs every so often. she was deep in thought, the only sound the gentle scratching of the blade, and started going through a mental checklist of everything she needed to prepare for tomorrow morning.

her light green kimono for the ceremony was already laid out on her roommate's old bed, zori shoes and tabi socks neatly placed beside it, but her hair pins and accessories still needed to be picked out. oh no, she hadn’t even decided on a-

“ow, fuck!”

she snapped out of her thoughts as toji hissed in pain, ruby-red pearls of blood already blooming from his lip.

oh no…

please god, no...

she’d cut his scar, reopening the top layer of delicate flesh.

“toji! fuck, i’m sorry,” she panicked, as he pulled away from her in a flash, his fingers pressing down on his lip. “i’m sorry, i didn’t mean to!

she slid off the counter, immediately trying to go over and help him, but toji practically growled, “don’t fucking touch me.”

her body froze, a cold shock of dread spreading from her head straight down to her stomach where it pooled uncomfortably. “toji?” she called out, her heart cracking and lip quivering. “it’s me. it’s only me.”

she’d never seen him like this before, backed up against the wall like an injured animal, his green eyes widened, breathing quickened, and nostrils flared, as if he was about to lash out at anything and everything. he held her worried gaze, but there was nothing except a cold emptiness behind him.

there was no trace of the boy she knew and loved.

“oh, toji. please,” she begged, fat droplets of tears running down the apples of her cheeks. "let me help you."

toji madly scrambled away, grabbing his shoes, and was out the door as if he’d never been there to begin with.

| Φ |

toji never came home that night.

she’d fallen asleep on the sofa, after calling him numerous times with no answer, waiting for him to walk back through the door until she couldn’t possibly keep her eyes open any longer. when she woke up groggily, her eyes still heavy from sleep and crying, she went about the arduous task of getting herself ready for graduation.

she hoped, no, prayed to the angels solving her equation to apply some sort of magic formula that would bring toji back to her. she had to believe he would show up to the ceremony; he just had to show. she didn’t even want to think about trying to calculate for the probability of him not showing up.

but the day went by in a hazy, slow blur of camera flashes, ostentatious flower bouquets, and toothy grins of parents and graduates. she played the part perfectly, a walking empty shell of a human, hugging and smiling with her loved ones. when her name was called to receive her diploma, nothing else mattered except trying to catch a glimpse of toji’s face in the audience.

but she couldn’t see him.

a foolish part of her hoped that he was standing right at the back of the auditorium, wearing that soft smile she loved so much whenever he looked at her.

that’s all it was though – foolish.

eventually, she returned back to her dorm in a numb daze, blinking slowly as her eyes swept over her soon-to-be-old home.

there was no trace of toji.

not his black sliders by the door.

not his toothbrush in the holder in the bathroom.

not his canvas bag or dirty gym clothes in the washing basket.

nothing at all.

she collapsed to the floor in a heap, her hands shakily procuring her phone from her clutch purse, and dialled toji’s number.

beep. beep. beep.

“sorry, but the number you have called does not exist. ple-”

she snapped her phone shut, and hoped that her angels could hear the gut-wrenching scream that clawed its way out of her throat and reverberated around the empty walls of the dorm.

| Φ |

the first law of thermodynamics states that energy can never be created or destroyed, only changing from one form to another.

that was all she think of as she curled into a fetal position on the cold, hard tiles of the apartment, teeth chattering as she repeated the law over and over again. the very marrow of her bones felt frozen solid, her fingernails harshly kissing crescent moons into her palm so hard that was she sure she must have bled by now.

but she didn’t care.

her heart was tearing itself apart, a war of raw muscle and heartstrings against the merciless, cruel force of love clashing inside of her chest.

her energy, what was it?

was it love?

for the numbers and greek letters she puzzled over for hours on end, contemplating all of the universe's workings and mysteries. or was it for toji fushiguro? for the dark-haired boy who had taught to her love something else other than her calculations and green tea. to love life and all the little joys that came along with it, and that she was worth infinitely more than what she thought of herself.

if her energy was love, then what would it change into?

hate, rage?

both?

maybe the angels could mercifully apply the catastrophic formula of death, and prove her life's equation to be null and false. her body would dissolve back into dust and atoms that would find their way back to toji, hovering tantalisingly closely to him, but never to touch him again. would his body know hers, even if he could never hope to see her? would he sense her and smile, as he remembered the quiet, young love they once shared?

she liked to imagine that he would smile.

her teeth clattered loudly, and her arms disappeared into the sleeves of her kimono.

how strange, the music is louder than its ever been.

scratching of quills.

a splash of ink and a teardrop.

and the scroll was flipped over to a blank side.

| Φ |

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mapis-putellas · 3 months ago

Text

[ᴄᴏꜰꜰᴇᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ᴄʟᴇᴀᴛꜱ ]

Summary: You never intended to meet the love of your life on a random Friday at work, and you definitely never thought she’d be world famous footballer Alexia Putellas.

𝑪𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝟏

It was on a regular Friday morning when you see her for the first time, and she was undoubtedly the most beautiful woman you'd ever laid eyes on. She was dressed in what you could only guess was a football training kit, sat confidently at one of the tables in the far corner with her toned, tanned legs you couldn't take your eyes off on full display.

Her hair was blonde; like sunlight spun into silk, pulled back into a high ponytail with a headband to keep the flyaways out of her face. You couldn't see her face fully from your place behind the counter, but her side profile was perfectly symmetrical, jawline sharp and seemingly chiselled from the gods above themselves.

Her hands were playing with an empty sugar packet as she nods along to whatever her friend was saying, and you can't help but watch the way her long, slender fingers move alongside the thin paper, folding it as small as she could before undoing it and starting again.

It was an action so hypnotic you can't help but stare. What else could she do with those fingers?

You don't expect her head to suddenly turn and stare directly at you, catching you right in the act. You stand there like a deer caught in headlights, your hands frozen, clutching an empty plastic cup so tightly it splits down the front.

The first thing you notice were her eyes. They were brown, like the colour of mahogany wood, both comforting and steady. Then her lips. Soft. Both inviting and tempting, though pressed into a thin clearly giving away her dislike towards the situation.

She doesn't do anything; like get up and scold you for staring and her general facial expression gives absolutely nothing away. The longer she stares, however, the more her features soften, and you're unsure on whether that's because she feels sorry for you, or she finds you endearing.

You decide it would be best not to ask to save your already fragile ego.

Suddenly, another pair of eyes meet your own, her friends, and her face gives everything away. She looks between the both of you before her eyebrows raise, and her lips quirk up into a knowing smile as she slaps the beautiful girls arm effectively ripping her attention away from you.

They start talking between themselves in a language you didn't quite understand, the friend looking smug whilst the beautiful girl looked like she'd rather be anywhere else, and you force yourself to look away from them and busy yourself with starting to clean up.

The last thing you want was to get caught staring again. You were already humiliated enough and adding to that honestly brings you one step closer to throwing yourself out of the nearest window.

Loosening the death grip you had on the cloth still in to hands, you continue with the task of wiping down the counters. There were granules of sugar, dried brown marks from spilled coffee, fingerprints from the day's customers. All of it was gone in one wipe over. The coffee machine was cleaned a little while ago, sparkling slightly as the sun shining in through the windows opposite hits it in the perfect way. All that was left to do now was close up, and you couldn't do that with people still in the building.

Not knowing what else to do, you once again start wiping counters despite the fact they were already very much clean in a futile effort at killing a little time.

Someone clearing their throat abruptly startles you out of your thoughts, and you look up to see the friend of the woman you were horrendously crushing on. She was leaning against the counter, tanned tattooed arms crossed over one another as she stares at you with a small smirk on her face.

You swallow heavily as you tuck a loose strand of hair that had fallen from your braid behind your ear.

"Hola." She greets, and though you're terrible at Spanish, you do understand what she had said and return the greeting, your voice just as reluctant as it was cautious.

"Uhh...can I help...you?" You risk a glance behind her, stomach sinking when the beautiful girl was no where to be seen.

"I am Mapi." She starts, straightening up and linking her hands together.

Now deeply confused on why she feels the need to tell you her name, you nod your head and make the polite decision to tell her your name too . "Y/n."

"Y/n," she hums. "Sí, vale. I am sorry, my English is not..." she trials off with a guilty smile, and you shake your head.

"It's okay." You assure, lips momentarily quirking up into a shy smile.

"Anyway, my amiga, the uhhh...chica you were looking at," you immediately flush. "She say you are...how you say... hermosa?" She trails off unsurely, and you stare at her like she has three heads.

She sighs like she knew that was the response she was going to get. "Vale, you do not understand," she mumbles to herself. "Ehh, you are...bonita?" She tries again.

Bonita? You swear you've heard that somewhere before. On a tv show maybe? Didn't it mean...

"Pretty?" You try.

She snaps her fingers with an elated grin, one so genuine you can't help but mimic it. "Sí, yes. She say...said you are pretty. I try to...convince?" She looks up at you unsurely, and you nod your head in confirmation. "Gracias. I try to convince her to talk to you but she is very stubborn."

"That's okay," you laugh awkwardly. "I'm way out of her league anyway. But thanks for coming over."

"Qué?" Mapi tilts her head to the side. "Out of her league? Qué significa eso?"

More or less understanding the question, you flush as you fumble anxiously with the cloth still in your hands. "Uhhh, like she's too good for me."

"Huh? No. No no. I do not think so, chica. Alexia is right. Eres bonita"

Your stomach twists at finally learning her name, your lips quirking up into a soft smile. "Alexia?"

Mapi's eyes light up. "Sí. Alexia."

Speaking of the devil, at the mention of her name, Alexia walks out of the bathroom with her head buried in her phone. She doesn't look your way at all as she sits back down, and you can't help but feel a little disappointed as you look back down at your hands. How could she think you're pretty if she can't even look at you?

Mapi watches her friend sit with an eye roll before turning back round to face you. To get your attention, she reaches over to lightly tap your hand, waiting for you to look at her before speaking.

"I see your phone, por favor?"

"Um, why?"

"You will see." Is all she says, and figuring you have nothing else to lose, you pull your phone out of the back pocket of your jeans before unlocking it and handing it over. Mapi hums her thanks as she taps on the screen for a few moments before looking over at Alexia.

Frowning in confusion, you follow her gaze, only to regret doing so when you make direct eye contact with Alexia. You blink stupidly, not sure what to say or do as she stares directly into your soul.

Fortunately, Mapi makes a decision for you. She gestures Alexia over, the blonde hesitating for only a split second before rising to her feet and making her way towards you. The expression on her face was undesirable as she stops the other side of the counter next to Mapi, her hands tucked into the pockets of her red jacket.

With one last glance between the two of you, Mapi makes her way back to her table with a satisfied smile on her face. You watch her go with a slight bit of regret, knowing for a fact whatever conversation you were about to have work Alexia was going to be awkward.

Deciding to bite the bullet and get it over with, you raise your hand to give her a small wave. "Hey." You say with a small smile.

You can't tell if the butterflies in your stomach are nervousness because you're talking to a beautiful woman, or panic because 'oh my god, please let her think I'm normal.'

"Hola." The sound of her voice was nothing like you expected, and your forced to swallow back the word vomit lingering on the tip of your tongue. Do not freak her out with unnecessary compliments.

"So, uh, what did Mapi text you?" You wonder, hoping this would be a good step forward in making conversation.

Alexia hums softly as she pulls her phone out of her pocket, unlocking it before setting it down on the counter and turning it to face you. On the screen was the text Mapi had sent her, and you lean forward to get a closer look at what it says.

I'm y/n. I think you are pretty too.

Though you flush red a little in embarrassment, you don't deny it.

"I mean...she wasn't wrong," you shrug somewhat bashfully as you fumble with the cloth. "I do think you're pretty. Beautiful even."

Alexia raises an eyebrow, though it didn't take an genius to see the way her cheeks flush a light shade of red. Her lips part, and you feel your breath hitch as you watch the wet her tongue wets her lips before her eyes finally make contact with your own.

You blink stupidly, and Alexia smirks as she leans her arms against the counter much like Mapi had done moments prior but with way different intentions. Her eyes flicker over your face, head tilting to the side as she takes in every little detail. You try to remember wether or not you'd put on makeup this morning, but she was looking at you so intently you could barely even remember your own name.

There was so much being said without any words at all, and it was starting to become a little overwhelming. Why wasn't she speaking? Did she not like what she was seeing now she was close enough to actually see it?'

"I am not..." your eyes whip up to her own at a speed that shocks you both. You thank god she chooses to say nothing about it. "I am not good at this...in English."

"This?" You question a little unsurely, not quite understanding what she was referring to. Alexia nods, hesitating only briefly before gesturing to you and then herself. You take a wild guess at what she was trying to communicate.

"Umm, flirting?"

Alexia smiles as she nods her head. "Sí. Yes. Flirting. I am much more good at it in Spanish."

"Then it looks like I'll definitely have to start learning some Spanish." Was out of your mouth before you could stop it, and Alexia blinks before her cheeks once again flush.

God. She looked so good.

"It is...a difficult language to learn." Her voice breaks you away from your thoughts. You look up to see her staring at you with a somewhat hesitant smile on her face, almost questioning whether or not you were being serious. You're quick to assure her you were.

"It'll be worth it." For you. You want to add, but you refrain from saying so in order to avoid coming off too clingy.

"Then I will learn English too." She says with a firm nod as she straightens up, and you shake your head playfully with a gentle smile on your lips.

"Qué?" Knowing that means 'what' due to how Mapi had used it in a sentence earlier, you're quick to respond to her.

"Your English is perfect already." You admit truthfully, and you preen internally when Alexia flushes yet again.

Man. Who knew you were so good at this?

Alexia smiles as she fumbles with her phone, spinning it round on the counter to try and keep her hands busy. "Gracias," she murmurs bashfully. "I would like to...to take you out, if that is okay?"

Your eyes widen a little in surprise at the fact she'd been the one to ask you out when you'd fully intended for it to be the other way around. Taking your silence as a bad thing, Alexia opens her mouth to take it all back, but you're quick to reach out and give the back of her hand a small touch.

"I'd love to, Alexia." You assure, and the blonde smiles in relief as she glances back at Mapi. Her friend gives her two thumbs up and a wide grin, and you can't help but laugh softly when Alexia sends her a playful glare before once again turning to face you.

"Bueno. I will....text you?"

You nod. "I'll be looking forward to it." You smile, and Alexia returns it, lingering for a moment longer in front of you before reluctantly turning and making her way back over to Mapi. She ignores the tattooed girls soft nudges and not so subtle pestering as she packs up her things, sending you another smile as she passes and makes her way to the door. She pulls it open, patiently waiting for Mapi who was still grabbing her things.

Eventually, it's all in her arms, and you smile as she makes her way over to you. "Nos vemos, chica." She winks, and you can't help but smile as you watch her exit the shop with Alexia following shortly after. The bell dings as the door closes, and you smile softly as you make your way over to lock up and flip the sign to closed.

Yes, you'd kept the shop open an extra half an hour to shamelessly flirt with Alexia. Don't judge. Anyone in your position would have done it do.

As you head out back to grab your things, you make a silent note to once again download duolingo when you got home. How hard could leading Spanish really be?

Tags:

@simp4panos @goldenempyrean @girlgenius1111 @codiemarin @liloandstitchstan

#soft alexia putellas #alexia putellas x reader #alexia putellas x you #alexia putellas #woso appreciation #woso community #woso x reader #woso one shot #woso fanfics #woso soccer

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noirscript · 4 months ago

Text

call avoidance.

Yandere Hotline: 3/?

featuring: implied drugging. implied tresspassing. lots of male masturbation. unsolicited phone sex (?). implied kidnapping. AFAB!Reader (yan calling reader mommy)

note: this is written while half-asleep. not edited. brain go brrr. i'll add the src some time.

Dealing with mad people can drive anyone insane. But if you're given a hefty sum to keep the insane ones company, you'll take. Life is tough, but you can choose your own hell.

"Got you some drink. Your favorite flavor," Heidi, your 'neighbor' in cubicle, said cheerfully as she placed the drink and sandwich on your spot.

"Well, who are we kidding." You shook your head before placing the plastic cup in your trash bin along with the tasty sandwich that came with it. "They're really persistent, you know?"

You smiled sheepishly as you arrange your cubicle to start a new day. Unlike your workmates, your place is quite neat and devoid of anything that would identify that spot as yours.

No personal images pinned on the corkboard. Not even a framed picture of whoever inspires you to get up and work hard without becoming insane yourself.

Upon accepting the job offer, you made sure to draw the most visible line to keep your personal life to yourself. You've heard some stories—some myths—about some agents disappearing without any trace overnight. Like they never existed in the first place.

"I hope they fuck off, you know?" You sighed before putting on your noise-cancelling headphones. "May we survive this shift," you grumbled as you wait for the first call with baited breath.

You have frequent customers. Most of them were pleasant to talk to. Let's just say that they're not exactly the dangerous type of callers. Those type clients were, most likely, drawn to the idea of being a 'yandere' as a fantasy. Sometimes, there's a hint of sexualization.

Almost every person on the floor are taking calls. Including you. However, your gut's been telling you to ignore the call. Maybe it's one of those unhinged callers who believes that you're theirs. Like they own you and all of your time.

You still have some available credits for call avoidance since you rarely used your credits. Surely, this one call will not affect your performance rating.

While waiting for the phone to stop ringing, you decided to clean up your work email. Being bombarded with useless newsletters about food and books on sale is the worse. Not only does it make your inbox crowded, it's also spammy.

You were fightung the urge to just select all and delete everything at once when you suddenly heard a notification. One after another.

One from your email, another one from your messaging app, and lastly—from the internal chatroom.

You opened the email with an attachment. It was a blank email but as soon as the preview for the attachment appeared, you almost gagged.

It was an image of a man's cock. There were translucent liquid splattered everywhere while the tip of his dick is on a cup—filled to the brim with iced coffee with foamy top. Your favorite.

Your hands were shaking as you exit the window of the website. You clicked the messaging app first. 'Perhaps it was just a promotional message from one of those companies.'

But no.

It was a message from a private number. You don't have any idea how they did it, but they kept sending you images. Most of them were blurry, but the ones with better quality almost made you vomit.

It was taken in a small room. At first, the room was dark, but eventually the image light up. His face was blurred, but you could clearly see what he was doing.

He was fucking your pillow. The one you've been using since you've moved in a better place with better security.

You were confused. And scared.

How could he easily enter your place? Your keys are with you and only the management has access to other duplicates.

"No way..." you whispered as you close the messaging app's window.

One bomb was dropped after another. And you knew something's off.

[NOTICE OF TERMINATION]

Due to multiple reports of call avoidance and drop calls, the management has decided to relieve you from your position as an agent effective immediately.

As we value your well-being, rest assured that you will be receiving your full payment for the next three months along with the other benefits that the company has sworn to provide you.

We sincerely appreciate your efforts for the last three years. We wish you all the best from this day forward.

You were devastated, yet relieved upon reading the letter. You've been wanting to receive this for months. It was the only way out of this place and this industry. You've also managed to save up a lot that you can start fresh somewhere. Far from this place.

Another phone call managed to bypass the automatic system of the place. You took a deep breath before accepting the call.

"Hello?"

"I can't... wait... haah..." the man on the line was clearly doing himself. By the eay he sounds, he's probably close. "We'll move to a big house... haah... hngg... a baby, a babyyy... nhnn... come home..."

Your eyes widened upon hearing your name. Not the screen name you gave them, but your legal full name.

"Let me... hngg... make you a mommy... d'you want that, huh?" You could a wet sloppy noises in the background. "Tiny baby... sucking on your tits... while I make a mess out of you?"

"Ap—"

"No need for... apologies..." he was breathing heavily. "I'll see you soon, okay?

"Heimdall."

He chuckled. "That's me, my princess... took you long enough to say my name."

"How did you get into my house?" you asked while gritting your teeth.

"Patience, my love. We could talk all about it once you're home. Should I get you something to eat? Chicken? Cake? Sandwich? Coffee?"

"I'm done with you."

You immediately pressed the end call button before gathering your things and left. Not even a farewell to your friends.

But there's something you should probably know.

Heidi can't wait to be an aunt and to be your sister-in-law!

#yandere #yandere male #noirscript: yandere hotline #yandere hotline #yandere blog #yandere oc #yandere x reader #yancore #yandere imagines #yandere fic #dead dove do not eat #tw.dark content #yandere x darling #male yandere x y/n #male yandere x you #male yandere x reader #male yandere #yandere x y/n #yandere x you

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suntoru · 1 year ago

Text

─ ✰ BREWING AFFECTION.

✧˚ · . NAGI SEISHIRO loves sleeping, soccer, and gaming. he also doesn’t mind you coffee too.

— warnings: coffee shop! au, fluff, crackfic, reo hating on readers barista skills, downbad nagi (hes oblivious af), maybe ooc?

— author’s note: NOT TUMBLR BUTCHERING THE QUALITY OF MY HEADER. THIS IS NOT OK.

"…so… this was the coffee shop you were talking about?” reo probes nagi tentatively, face crinkled in slight confusion. the small café nestled in the hidden corner of some obscure street— nothing extravagant, and certainly not what he expected. it’s a quiet sanction, only a few patrons savoring the quiet ambience of the modest establishment.

"mhm," nagi hums in affirmation. his eyes are glued to his screen, fingers violently tapping his phone as he skillfully maneuvers through the critical attack from the boss battle. reo doubts he was listening to a word he was saying. he raises his eyebrows skeptically, surveying the surroundings of the quaint little shop. he’s well aware nagi sacrifices fifteen whole minutes of his precious sleep on wednesdays and saturdays to walk all the way here— there must, has to be something special about this place. yet all he can spot are a couple of worn-down couches, cute decorations, and the smell of grinding beans in the air; nothing particularly stands out.

'is the coffee just that good?' reo wonders to himself, his thoughts interrupted when you hastily set a tray down at their table. your hair is tied in a messy bun, name tag displayed largely at the side of your stained apron. "i'm so sorry— morning rush! two triple foam lattes, half a shot of espresso with a dash of cinnamon, right?" the words tumble out, an apology and a question all in one, accompanied by a warm aura that absolutely nobody else in customer service seemed to carry.

…that’s… not…. even close… he deadpans. “um, actually—” he starts, but is quickly interrupted by nagi cutting him off. “t’s good. thanks.” he mutters, hazy half-lidded grey eyes boring into your oblivious, starry-eyed ones. the tips of his ears turn the slightest bit pink as he blows a tuft of his hair out of his eyes. his phone is completely discarded, ‘GAME OVER.’ pixelated largely on his screen as reo’s eyes widen slightly. …did he… die on purpose? no way. but… he was just about to beat the whole game…?

you smile giddily. finally, you got an order right!! “really? i’m so glad! enjoy your drink!” you eagerly exclaim as you walk away, feeling encouraged to pump out the other orders.

“…we ordered two large macchiatos.” nagi shrugs lazily, fiddling with the plastic straw in his drink. “tastes the same. ‘t’s too much of a hassle to correct them.”

“whatever,” reo sighs, “we’ve been waiting thirty minutes for this— it better make my mouth orgasm.” thirstily taking a huge slurp of the drink, he lets the coffee settle for a moment before not so subtly gagging at the aftertaste. how can someone possibly screw up this badly? it tastes like… tepid brown water. this should be a war crime. no offense, but who thought it was a good idea to hire you? “uhm… it’s *retches* certainly an acquired flavour…” he represses another gag as the fluffy white haired male tunes him out once again.

as reo contemplates the questionable quality of his latte, nagi remains blissfully unaware of his own feelings, doing what he does every wednesday and saturday morning— unconsciously admire you from a distance, his attention shifting from reo to you. his fingers idly trace the ridges on the rim of the cup, distractedly watching as you struggle to get the coffee to start brewing.

and he can’t exactly understand why his heart is beating out of his chest (perhaps he’s having a stroke), why his face is tinted red (is it the cold nipping at his cheeks?), or why he only seems to want coffee when you’re there (it simply tastes different). it all doesn’t make sense to nagi’s simple little life, a simple repetition every day; sleep, soccer, game.

nagi seishiro finds the easiest of tasks to be a hassle. yet for some strange reason, waking up early on wednesdays and saturdays isn’t one of them.

#blue lock x reader #blue lock x y/n #blue lock x you #nagi x reader #nagi x y/n #nagi x you #bllk x reader #bllk x y/n #bllk x you #nagi seishiro x reader #nagi seishiro x y/n #nagi seishiro x you #blue lock fluff #blue lock #nagi fluff #bllk fluff #bllk drabbles #coffee shop! au

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averagelivingbeings · 5 months ago

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The black magic tube

Top Blade/Bottom afab Dan Heng

In which Ren finds an uncannily realistic fleshlight and decides to fuck it, unaware of his boyfriend Dan Heng feeling it from miles away.

Word Count: 4516

Tags: PWP, Afab Dan Heng, magic fleshlight, vaginal sex, cunnilingulus, big dick Ren, public sex, public humiliation, a little bit of pussy spanking, long distance sex, they aren’t even in the same room once, humiliation

AFAB language used for Dan Heng

——————————————

Ren found the strange cylindrical tube while cleaning up around the apartment. The outside was of an even shape made with smooth, black plastic and fit comfortably into Ren’s large hand. Upon closer inspection, he noted that it had a lid, a simple screw lid.

Perhaps it was one of the tubes Dan Heng used to transport his artworks with, albeit a very short one. Usually he’d just use a folder for the smaller papers and a longer container for the large ones.

However, upon unscrewing the top, he was neither greeted by a thick roll of paper nor the darkness an empty tube would contain inside.

Instead, the bright, rosy lips of a pussy, complete with clit, hood and hole greeted him.

Ren swiftly slammed the lid onto the tube, a mad blush spreading on his cheek. He certainly didn’t remember buying that thing and unless Dan Heng wanted to tease him with a foreign hole, he had no reason to either, lacking the anatomy to actually use it.

He pensively stared at the black tube, barely paying attention to his broom falling over, as he took it to their shared bedroom.

~/~

“Yo, what if we just had a threesome?”

Dan Heng sighed, moving on to drying the freshly cleaned plates, which were messily piled into the dishwasher, courtesy of his laid-back colleague Jing Yuan.

“Wouldn’t that be incest?”, Caelus replied, thoughtfully swirling the contents of his third cup of coffee for the day around. “I mean, we’re twins, that’s even worse.”

“Yeah, but you won’t be fucking me, we’ll both just fuck her”, Stelle rebutted. She had just gotten started on her fourth cup and Dan Heng was really contemplating not giving them anymore caffeine, its effect on the twins similar to alcohol.

They had been debating their could-be romantic relationship with Firefly in front of Dan Heng at the cafe he worked part-time at for weeks now. Apparently all three were head over heels over each other, with the exception of Caelus and Stelle, and couldn’t decide how to proceed after a coffee drunken day had led to a spontaneous hookup.

“What do you think, Dan Heng?”

Of course he’d be dragged into it again.

“Well, it all depends on what each of you wants, of course”, he began, already seeing the exasperated eyerolls make their way into the twin’s faces and quickly continued: “But you could have an open relationship with Firefly dating both of you. And you two just… Keep your hands off of each other.”

“That’s true, but what if we want to marry someday?” Caelus raised an eyebrow at both of them, the question prompting Stelle to choke on her drink.

“You’re thinking about marriage already??” She looked at him in disbelief, half of the cafe lazily turning towards their little group, before going back to their business of reading newspapers or working.

“Well of course! Foresight is better and cheaper than hindsight”, Caelus insisted.

“That’s not foresight, that’s overplanning.”

“I’m not planning anything yet, I’m just…”

Dan Heng shook his head, the ghost of an amused smile playing at his lips, as he went to fix up another customer’s order.

Yes, today was a good day.

~/~

Upon closer inspection, the fleshlight, which Ren came to realise the tube to be, looked awfully familiar. Or at least the pussy inside of it, not the item itself.

The sun-kissed, smooth skin, a single mole near the clitoris, just the shape of the labia as well as the coloration.

Ren had seen more pussies than he thought he ever would in his life, but the image of the one of his beloved boyfriend was practically etched into his mind at this point.

Gingerly, he reached out to touch it, gently stroking the labia and nudging the folds. It felt smooth and soft to his touch, the plush material dipping the slightest bit at his touch, almost exactly like it was the real thing.

Ren held the tube between his thighs and used his thumbs to spread the hole apart. Despite probably just being a piece of silicone, he couldn’t help but be entranced by how realistic it was designed. The pink insides glistened, as if it was already wet and he felt the hole tighten up around his fingers.

“Mghhh…” With a lustful groan, Ren leaned over to place a kiss onto the hooded clit and reached down to palm his clothed cock. He was amazed by the feeling of his lips touching the fake pussy, his grip tightening on the base of his dick.

Slowly and gently, all thoughts about what a degenerate he was for licking a fleshlight like it was his lover being discarded and forgotten, Ren wrapped his lips around the clit and began sucking on it.

~/~

Dan Heng froze, as he waited for the milk to heat up, gripping the counter tightly and clenching his thighs together. There was a strange tingling sensation at his crotch, as if someone was touching it.

He felt the ghost of a rough finger brushing over his labia, but upon looking down, there was nothing. His legs allowed no room for anything to touch him, yet the phantom digits kept going anyway.

Dan Heng’s breath hitched, when he felt two fingers shamelessly spreading his hole open. It took all of his willpower not to whine at the teasing and exposing gesture. Ren loved doing that whenever he was about to demolish his cunt and afterwards to watch his cum seep out of it.

“Dan Heng?”

“Huh-?” Blinking, Dan Heng’s gaze shot to Jing Yuan who had been calling out for him.

“Your milk.” The taller man motioned to the coffee machine with the glass he was cleaning.

Right, his milk. The milk for the coffee. The milk for his customer’s coffee.

“Right, sorry…” Dan Heng awkwardly grabbed the container and shuffled over to make it foam up, all the while, the fingers or rather, the finger by now kept massaging his pussy and inevitably driving him to wetness. Watching the milk foam slowly dripping out of the measuring cup into the actual cup only spurred on his arousal, as he fantasised of his boyfriend. Ren always had fairly big loads and no matter whether he dumped them on Dan Heng’s face, his chest, his stomach or in his cunt, he found it mesmerising to watch.

“Ngh-!”

The milk spilled over onto the counter, as a sudden, wet kiss hit his clit, making Dan Heng jolt.

“Fuck-! Sorry…” He bowed at the grey-haired customer with the strange wing and halo accessories who had been standing patiently in the same spot all the time. Grabbing a towel, he quickly wiped down the counter and moved to prepare a new cup.

“Ah, don’t worry about it.” The man smiled at him, his golden eyes shining in an uncannily kind manner, as he pointed at the cup Dan Heng had miserably failed at. “I’ll take this one.”

“If you insist, sir…”, Dan Heng squeaked out pathetically, his growing arousal making it hard to focus on the task at hand. Carefully, yet shakily, he cleaned the cup, finished the coffee and lifted it up to hand over to the man.

The finger had stilled for the most part, but it was definitely still there. He was glad that the mouth had retreated though.

“Here’s your coffee, si- Mghh-!” Dan Heng couldn’t hold back a moan and nearly dropped the coffee onto the customer’s pristine suit, when he suddenly felt a mouth wrap itself around his clit and suck harshly.

“Woah-!” The man caught the coffee just in time to prevent it from spilling, yet the unsettling smile prevailed on his face. “Thank you, sir. Have a nice day.”

“Have a nice day…” Dan Heng couldn’t even look the other in the eye, as he left, his cheeks were burning from arousal and humiliation, both of which perpetually amplified each other.

“Fuck…”, he muttered under his breath, when the mouth on his clit didn’t let up and kept sucking, licking and even biting his sensitive nub. The sensation made his body burn from pleasure, it felt exactly like his boyfriend eating his pussy.

“Dan Heng, are you alright?”

Not Jing Yuan again. Dan Heng blinked and looked to the side, his knuckles having turned white on the counter, as he kept subtly moving his hips and clenching his legs in a futile attempt to drive the invisible molester away.

“Y-Yeah… I’m…! I just-“ He bit his lip, pussy clenching around nothing, as he felt an orgasm approaching. His underwear was surely soaked through by now and he thanked his apron for hiding any stains that could make it through his pants.

But before he could come in his pants like some depraved teenager, both the mouth and the finger retreated, leaving him panting, sweating and horny beyond comprehension.

Looking around, he noticed Jing Yuan as well as Stelle and Caelus at the counter shooting him concerned looks. The rest of the cafe thankfully couldn’t be bothered to pay attention to him.

With a sigh, he stood up straight, trying to even his breathing and coming down from his denied high. “I’m fine… Sorry for that…”

Seeing that the sensation wasn’t coming back, he went back to work as usual and upon seeing him back to normal, Jing Yuan and the twins relaxed as well.

~/~

“Hnghh, hahh…” Ren grunted, as he slipped his hands into his pants and started fisting his cock. His grip was tight around the fleshlight to the point it may as well be in danger of shattering between his fingers.

His dick hardened in no time, soon standing tall and proud in its full glory, the tip an angry red and veins bulging at its shaft. He thoughtfully thumbed the tip, as he inspected the hole of the toy. It was small, not smaller than the average pussy, but the type of small that made Ren hesitate about whether he should just ram himself inside.

Would he fit? He wondered silently, as he slowly stroked his cock, comparing its length to the tube. At least he could fully push it in without issues, but he was certain he’d be spearing that hole open.

Unsurprisingly, his dick twitched when he thought of that and he smiled a little. Arousal pooled in his gut, when he thought back to Dan Heng’s first time taking his dick and how he had whined about his size being too big. The fact that he alone had reduced the other to a moaning mess drowning in a perfect blend of pleasure and pain did things to Ren’s ego.

Fuck this shit, Ren thought to himself, dropping the fleshlight grab a bottle of lube and spread the contents over his length.

Picking the toy up and gripping it tightly, he teased the hole with his tip, spreading the lube everywhere and making the pussy glisten as if it was wet. With an aroused hum, Ren grabbed his dick and slapped it against the artificial cunt multiple times, watching the way the realistic folds bounced lightly from the impact.

Finally, when he had teased himself to his limits, he pushed forward, his tip slipping inside and already pushing the hole to its limits. An almost sadistic grin spread on Ren’s face, as he saw the hole try to accommodate his girth.

“Awww…” Cooing and stroking the clit, he waited a few seconds, as if the toy was a partner that had to get used to him first. With his patience running thin though, he discarded the thought and slammed the toy down hard on his length.

~/~

Dan Heng shouldn’t have had hope. Despite the mishap with the grey-haired customer’s coffee, everything went fine. He could even stand back and relax a little, remembering that he knew the eerie man from a mysterious sex shop he recently stumbled into on a rainy day.

But of course, good times never last.

The sensation of flesh touching his private area returned, this time different. The… Thing touching him was far thicker and smoother than the fingers, it’s wet and Dan Heng could feel bumps similar to veins in some places.

“Mgh…” He shifted uncomfortably, no clenching his legs together or trying to bat at it deterred whatever ghost molested him. Leaning back against the wall, he clenched his eyes shut, his panties were still wet from the aggressive oral sex he had been given not too long ago and his arousal quickly spiked again.

“Dan Heng, are you sure you’re okay?” A large, warm hand gently came to rest on his shoulder.

Ren, was his first thought, until his eyes snapped open and he stared right into Jing Yuan’s face.

“You’re very red and warm, maybe you should-“

“Ghh-! Please excuse me-!” Dan Heng weakly punched Jing Yuan in the chest, his face turning even redder upon feeling the thick, hefty thing which he now recognised to be someone’s fucking cock slapping against his pussy and clit. Curse his masochistic side for loving it and wanting to moan and beg for more like a slutty bitch.

Jing Yuan gave way despite the hit carrying only the strength of an ophthalmologist and Dan Heng dashed off, trying to look as normal as possible while a fucking huge cock, as he realised, slapped his cunt.

He nearly fell to his knees in front of the door to the bathrooms, when he felt the tip slip in. It was painful, the thing was big and stretching him to his limits. At the same time, only Ren could spear him open in such a deliciously pleasurable manner and Dan Heng gradually felt his resolve crumble.

He hastily stumbled inside and shoved his shirt into his mouth to muffle his groans of pleasure, as the rough pad of a finger returned to stroke his clit. The person in the mirror was sweating and blushing madly, his black hair sticking to his forehead, while his eyes were hazy with lust.

With a whimper, Dan Heng shoved open a stall door and retreated into it, before slamming it shut and locking it tightly. He had just turned his back to the toilet, his legs reflexively spread to accommodate the thick phantom girth between his legs, when it suddenly slammed right into him, causing him to fall back onto the toilet lid with a moan.

Deliriously, he stared down at his crotch, seeing absolutely nothing there, even when he flipped the apron up and took off his pants. Only when Dan Heng slipped a hand into his underwear and touched his soaked clit and wandered down to his hole, did he notice it gaping.

It looked and felt as though it was being stretched past its limits by a thick, hefty girth, but no matter where Dan Heng moved his fingers, he felt nothing, no trace of the phantom cock or the fingers and mouth.

~/~

“Hahhh, grrghhh-!” Ren groaned in surprise, delighting in the tightness of the fleshlight. He paused, once fully inside, relishing in the way it seemed to squeeze him like a vice, like Dan Heng’s pussy.

After a while of imagining his partner moaning and arching his back while seated on his cock, Ren slowly gripped the toy and started moving it up and down his cock.

The plush, soft walls felt heavenly around him, despite the tightness and how they seemed to suck him back in every time he lifted the fleshlight, the glide was smooth and easy. Ren loved the friction against his shaft, the way his tip kissed the deep end of the toy and how thoroughly speared open the hole looked.

~/~

“Ahhh, hahh, mfgghhh~”

Dan Heng had expected the ghost cock in him to start moving, but he hadn’t been prepared for how good it felt. Shoving his fingers in his mouth to gag himself, he threw his head back and spread his legs, the burning humiliation from being fucked by a mysterious entity only adding to the heat forming in his stomach.

Slowly but surely he found a comfortable position on the toilet in which he could handle getting fucked in. His eyes rolled back and he slowly rubbed his soaked clit with the same rhythm of the cock forcing him open. Dan Heng must be looking like one hell of a slut, drooling all over his fingers with his legs spread and his pussy gaping and closing at regular intervals.

Of course, the moment he started to fully immerse himself in the pleasure, someone had to go piss.

Dan Heng groaned internally, trying to slow down his fingers and reduce the squelching sounds they made from rubbing his clit. Instead, he raptly listened to the heavy footsteps marching over to the neighbouring stall and dug his nails into his clit. A shudder shook his body, the stinging sensation of his sharp nails against the sensitive nub definitely felt too good to remain quiet.

Dan Heng hoped the sounds of sprinkling water hid the gasp he let out.

~/~

This thing was driving Ren feral.

At this point, he was growling like a starved animal, while his hands ached from gripping the toy too tightly. His cock had soiled the inside with pre-cum which was starting to leak out from the side, but the pleasure felt far too good to be coming from a simple fleshlight. It was so realistic, he could feel it squeezing and tightening around him every time he sunk into it and whenever he aimed his movements in a way to hit a g-spot, it clenched around him even more tightly.

When he closed his eyes, he could see a vivid image of his boyfriend bouncing on his cock, face red, tears in his beautiful, turquoise eyes, as his tummy and legs flexed from the movements. His sweet, little pussy spread obscenely around his veiny cock, as a small bulge appeared on his stomach with every thrust inside.

“Nghhh, ahhh~” With a deep moan, Ren lifted his shirt and started caressing his abs and chest with one hand, just like Dan Heng would do it. He dug his fingers into his pec, squeezing and pulling at his nipple and massaging the thick muscle, while speeding up his movements with the fleshlight.

~/~

“Nghh-!” Dan Heng couldn’t prevent a moan from slipping out, when the cock began pounding him faster, effortlessly reaching the deepest and most sensitive spots inside of him. His legs were shaking and he felt his pussy clench down tightly on the invisible intrusion.

��Sir, are you experiencing an emergency over there?”

Shit.

Dan Heng cursed himself, trying to catch his breath and to sound normal, as he pulled his saliva soaked fingers out of his mouth with a wet pop. “N-No, sir, I’m alright-! I’m perfectly alright-!” Of course, the cock inside him decided to take that moment to speed up and roughen up its thrusts. Dan Heng would have been bent in half already, if Ren was the one fucking him on the spot.

There was silence on the other side of the stall door.

Dan Heng held his breath, perfectly aware of the wet sounds his pussy was making. He had started playing at it with both of his hands, unable to resist the pleasure of rubbing his clit and stroking the inside of his spread walls.

“… I will not question your choice of activity in a public bathroom, if I may be so bold as to call it that.”

Dan Heng’s face was surely overcooked now from both arousal and humiliation, but just as he was about to throw any sense away and moan the guy out of the bathroom, the thrusts stopped. The thick, long cock was still lodged deeply in his hole and kissing his cervix, but it just sat there, he felt no cum, nothing.

“… But should you feel great discomfort at this moment, I can send someone to help you”, the scholarly, deep voice carried on.

Dan Heng rolled his eyes. Can’t he just leave? “Really, sir, I’m alright… Give me a few minutes and meet me outside in the cafe, if you are so concerned for my well being.”

A dramatic sigh. If Dan Heng had any fucks left to give, he would have described the guy as sounding like the epitome of a dramatic young male hero in ancient Greek mythology. “If you insist. I shall wait outside.”

“Do that…” Dan Heng murmured, relief washing over him like a cool ocean breeze on a sweltering hot summer day, when he heard the man’s footsteps carrying him outside. He faintly felt the dick inside him shift, as if its owner was planning something.

Hopefully nothing too devious.

~/~

“Hnghhh, anghhh…!” Ren groaned, as he held the fleshlight in place with an iron grip. Getting up from the bed, he determinedly walked over to Dan Heng’s study, swiped the stray papers, brushes and pens off and placed the toy with his still throbbing and rock-hard cock into it on the desk.

He held the black tube with one hand and ran the other over his torso, before starting to thrust his hips into it and oh yes, that felt so much better.

Ren always preferred setting his own pace and thrusting his cock into someone always felt better than letting them do their thing with him.

Right off the bat, he set a rough pace, the force behind his movements shaking the table with every thrust, as he rammed himself into the toy.

~/~

“Fuuuck-! Angh-!” Dan Heng threw his head back and spread his legs wider, when the cock inside him started fucking into him roughly. Each thrust was perfectly aimed at his g-spot and the powerful force he felt so clearly behind it sent jolts of overwhelming pleasure through his body.

His fingers aggressively rubbed his clit, while he pinched his nipple with the other. The overstimulation hurt and Dan Heng loved the pain, his cunt clenching down harshly onto the length inside of him.

“Nghh, hahh~ Ohhh, yesss-!” He couldn’t give a living shit anymore for anyone hearing him, he was getting close to a well-deserved orgasm and he wanted to feel it wrecking him.

Dan Heng felt the thrusts stutter, losing their steady rhythm and equally picking up in roughness, the harsh slams into his g-spot bordering discomfort.

“Mghh-!” Recognising the pattern as Ren’s telltale sign of an incoming orgasm, Dan Heng slapped his cunt, wet liquids splashing through the stall. It only took three consecutive hits to his clit, before he came with a shout, pussy squirting wildly all over the place. His entire body was shaking, as his orgasm washed over him and he was left gasping and panting on the toilet lid, soiled in his own fluids.

~/~

“Ngh-!” Ren’s orgasm hit him unexpectedly. He had felt the hole tighten up around him, but now it was clamping down on him like a vice, keeping him inside, as he dumped his load deep into it. With a groan, he rode out his orgasm, shallowly fucking his cum into it until it leaked out from the sides.

He stood there for a while, eyes closed and panting lightly. Half-expecting his boyfriend to eventually whine at him to let go of him, he lazily snapped his eyes open, only to realise that his softening cock was lodged in a fleshlight and his cum dripping out of an artificial pussy. He was even fully clothed with only his dick hanging out of his unzipped pants.

“Fuck…” Humiliation and a bit of shame washed over Ren, as he hastily pulled out and tilted the toy up to prevent it from soiling the floor of Dan Heng’s study. He couldn’t believe that he had let that simple toy carry him away and drive him into a sexual frenzy.

Shaking his head at himself, he grabbed a tissue and wiped his cock clean, before moving on to clean up the mess on the carpet and the desk. The amount he could cum at once always astonished him once the post-nut clarity hit him.

Ren stuffed his cock back into his pants and pulled his shirt back down, before bringing the fleshlight into the bathroom to remove his cum from it and clean it up.

~/~

Dan Heng only now saw the mess he had made and his face was burning with humiliation, as he hastily cleaned it up with toilet paper. His pussy had dripped all over the toilet lid and the liquid he had squirted when he came was staining the floor and the door of the toilet stall. At least the hefty load he had felt being dumped inside him and dripping out of his cunt wasn’t even physically present to dirty the floor or his clothes even further.

He simply couldn’t think of any reason for why and how this could have happened. He could feel cum inside his pussy being gently pulled out by a phantom finger, which seemed to come back every now and then, as if wanting to deep clean his hole. The treatment wasn’t bad though, it was gentle, almost nurturing, as if soothing him after a rough fuck.

It reminded Dan Heng so much of Ren, he couldn’t wait to get off his shift and come back home to kiss and cuddle him. Throwing the toilet paper into the toilet and flushing it down, he got dressed again and left the bathroom.

Hopefully the weirdo from before wasn’t actually waiting outside for him.

Well, he wasn’t, but as Dan Heng washed his hands and freshened himself up in the mirror, another familiar man entered.

“Ah, it’s you, young man.” The grey-haired customer from before flashed his enigmatic smile at him, as he slowly turned on the tab to start washing his hands as well. “Don’t worry, the coffee you prepared was excellent.”

“Ah, I’m glad to hear it, Mr… Mr Sunday.” He couldn’t believe he remembered that name, but then again, he was just at the other’s sex shop last week to pick up an order he had placed.

“Pardon, but if I may ask…”

Dan Heng felt an odd sensation of smallness, like a human in front of a god, but at the same time a warmth, as if he stood in front of a benevolent god, when Sunday looked at him through the mirror and tilted his head to the side.

“Are you satisfied with your purchase from our store?”, Sunday asked, an innocent lilt to his voice. “Have you and your boyfriend tried it out yet?”

“Well, no, but we also haven’t had time yet for that”, Dan Heng answered. Despite the private and intrusive nature of the question, he somehow couldn’t find it in himself to care.

“Hm, that’s a shame, but I do recommend it.” Drying his hands, Sunday turned away from Dan Heng, the absence of his gaze somehow just as unsettling as the presence of it. “You will find the experience just as enjoyable as he will.”

And with that enigmatic statement hanging in the air, he left the bathroom.

#honkai star rail #hsr blade #dan heng #renheng #hsr fanfic #blade honkai #honkai sr #fanfiction #nsft #⛩️ jays writing

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pedrospatch · 2 years ago

Text

family

Preoutbreak! Joel Miller x Reader

summary: You and Joel have some news to share with Sarah.

warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, MINORS DNI. (TW) pregnancy, small age gap (reader is in her 20’s and Joel is 35). fluff, fluff, fluff, Joel and Sarah being the most adorable father daughter duo.

word count: 3.3k

a/n:this is my response to this request right here; a huge thank you to whoever sent this one in!

You let out a small, tired sigh and wiped the back of your hand across your forehead. The early afternoon lunch rush at Moe’s Diner had just ended and you were exhausted beyond belief. Moe’s was one of the more popular locally owned joints in Austin, Texas, and while having a lot of customers coming into the establishment meant earning heftier tips and of course, a bigger paycheck, there was a small part of you that couldn’t help but wish that you could have at least one slow day, just one single day of the week where you weren’t waiting about a dozen tables all at once.

The moment you dropped the last stack of used plates into the plastic gray bin for Hugo, the dishwasher, to come and collect, you washed your hands thoroughly with soap and warm water and then made your way over to the old, electronic cash register behind the main counter to punch in the tips you’d earned after the rush; an hour’s worth of working and you had already made about a hundred bucks to take home at the end of your shift. As you finished logging your earnings, you could feel a pair of eyes watching you from a distance. You didn’t even need to look up to see that it was Joel. He had made something of a habit of coming to join you on his lunch hour. He’d been working longer and longer days lately, and if his only chance to spend time with you was during his lunch break, then that is exactly what he was going to do.

You tossed your receipt into the register and closed it up, turning to your coworker, Melinda. “Alright. All the tables have been cashed out, cleared, and wiped down,” You informed her, sticking your own copy of the receipt for your tips into the crisp, white apron of your uniform. “Mind if I go and take a break now?”

“Go right ahead. Don’t want to keep lover boy over there waiting for too long,” Melinda responded with a teasing wink.

“Oh, shut up,” You snipped at her, although the smile was evident in your tone of voice. You turned around and quickly poured two cups of coffee, a regular for Joel and a decaffeinated roast for yourself. Last week during your doctor’s appointment, your obstetrician reassured you that it would be a while before you really had to start easing up on the amount of caffeine you put into your body, but you figured it wouldn’t hurt to start weaning yourself off of it while you were still in the earlier stages of pregnancy. Better to deal with the withdrawals sooner rather than later. “I’ll be back in fifteen minutes to help you with the next rush,” You told Melinda over your shoulder. You took the two cups in your hands and walked over towards one of the booths in the far corner of the fifties themed restaurant where Joel had chosen to sit today. You set his cup of coffee down in front of him and kissed his cheek lightly before sliding into the booth across from him. “I am so sorry to have kept you waiting. Two for one lunch special brought in a lot more people than Moe had anticipated.” You rolled your eyes, gently shaking your head. “He understaffed us. Again.”

Joel frowned as he noted, “I can tell. You look exhausted.”

“Which is basically code for, you look like shit, isn’t it?” You asked him teasingly.

“S’not what I meant and you know it,” he replied, rolling his eyes at you as he took a careful sip of his coffee. “You shouldn’t be workin’ so damn hard, y’know. S’not good for you to strain yourself, not in your condition.”

“In my condition,” You mimicked him with an amused little chuckle. It earned you a stern glare. “Oh come on, Joel. I’m only about six weeks along.” You shrugged your shoulders and then leaned back into the seat of the booth. “Come back to me with that bullshit when I’m in my third trimester and waddling around this place.”

Joel snorted. “Well, I’m hopin’ that by that time, you won’t be workin’ at all.”

Your playful smile faded slightly from your face. “What are you talking about?” You asked, crossing your arms stubbornly over your chest. It baffled you that he would even suggest such a thing. “We have a baby on the way. That means that I have to work, Joel. I have to work for as long as I possibly can before it comes. And then after a couple months of maternity leave, I’m going to have to come back and work some more.”

“Wait a minute, what about school?” he questioned, raising an eyebrow at you. “How exactly do you plan to juggle studyin’ while workin’ and bein’ a mom too?”

Stumped on how to answer him without upsetting him, you remained quiet and chewed nervously on your bottom lip. He wasn’t wrong. You hadn’t exactly told him yet, but the reality was that you knew it would be tough to handle all three and there was a pretty good chance that your teaching degree would have to be put on the back burner for an indefinite amount of time.

“You’re not givin’ up on that degree,” Joel asserted, as if he had read your thoughts. “No way in hell, I won’t let you. You only have one year left,” he reminded you firmly. “Look, business has been boomin’ on my end of things. If it stays that way, I can get you out of this place. Let you focus on bein’ a mom and gettin’ your teachin’ credential.”

You bit back a sigh. “Joel, it’s a bit too early to even be talking about all of this, don’t you think?” You said after a moment, feeling a bit overwhelmed by the conversation. “There’s no need to worry about that stuff yet.” Noticing the exasperated expression on his face, you outstretched your arm across the able and held out your hand. “I’m serious, Joel. I don’t want you to worry about it, not right now.”

He smiled warily as he took your hand in his. He leaned over and lifted it to his lips, kissing the back of it gently. “Look, I know it’s early,” he acknowledged. “But I’m just plannin’ ahead.” He paused long enough to press another kiss onto your hand. “I just wanna take care of you, darlin’. That’s all.”

“I know you do,” You replied softly, squeezing his hand. You could see Melinda over behind the counter tapping the invisible watch around her wrist as if to tell you that your time was running out. “What time do you have to be back at the job site?”

Joel glanced down at his watch, but it was useless. The damn thing had stopped working once again, and yet he refused to take it to get repaired. “Probably have to start headin’ back soon, actually,” he realized, the disappointment present in his tone. He hadn’t gotten nearly as much time with you as he would have liked. “Oh, I forgot to mention. Tommy said he’s not gonna be home for dinner tonight,” he informed you. “Said he’s spendin’ the night with a buddy, but we both know what that means.”

You giggled. “Another blonde he met at the bar, huh?”

“Yeah, sounds ‘bout right.” Joel laughed and rolled his eyes. “But anyway, I was thinkin’ that tonight might be the night to finally tell Sarah, seein’ as it’ll just be the three of us. What do you think, baby?”

You squeezed his hand again. “I’m kind of nervous, Joel. About telling her.”

“Yeah, me too.” Joel wasn’t nervous for Sarah’s reaction because he’d thought she would feel negatively about the baby or about you. Rather, he knew his teenager would be horrified thinking about how this blessed miracle came to be seeing as he’d signed a permission slip for her to learn all about the birds and the bees in health class at school last semester. At thirteen, Sarah was in that one stage where anything that Joel did embarrassed her—or grossed her out.

And this would certainly gross her out.

“Jesus, here comes round two of the rush,” You muttered, watching three large parties of people walk into the diner. Reluctantly, you released Joel’s hand. “I should go and help Melinda. Besides, you really need to get back to work before you’re late.”

Both you and Joel slid out of the booth and stood up. He wrapped his arms around you, pulling you against his chest in one of those tight, warm hugs that you’d grown to adore over the last couple of years. “I’ll be home on time for dinner tonight,” he promised you. “If you need anythin’ while I’m at work, you let me know, alright?”

You chuckled. “Yes, Joel.”

He let go of you and stood back, his eyes meeting yours. “I’m serious. You need anythin’ at all, you call me, alright? My phone will be in my pocket.”

“I’ll be fine, Joel,” You insisted, shaking your head as you laughed. “Now go on, get going before your boss chews you out for being late.”

“I am my boss, darlin’.” He grinned boyishly at you before pressing his lips lightly against yours, murmuring gently against them. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“Ugh, this is too good.” Sarah let out a small groan of satisfaction as she took another bite of her spaghetti. She turned to you a minute later, dabbing at her mouth with her paper napkin before telling you, “Have I told you that it’s my favorite? Because it’s my favorite and I simply must give my compliments to the chef.”

You lifted your chin slightly, feeling pleased with yourself. “Thank you.”

Joel pouted, feigning offense. “Now wait a damn minute, I thought the spaghetti that I made you was your favorite?”

“Dad, you use the jarred crap,” Sarah reminded him. “Her sauce is homemade. She actually makes it from scratch, like you’re supposed to.” She pointed her fork at him. “Your spaghetti is just one step above Chef Boyardee. And that’s being generous.”

Joel picked a crouton from the salad bowl in the middle of the table and flicked it at her. “Turd.”

“Bigger turd,” she shot back at him with a tiny giggle as she picked up the crouton and popped it into her mouth.

“Alright, alright, that’s enough,” You chuckled, waving a hand. “Settle down you two or I’ll put you both in timeout.”

“Y’see what you do? Gettin’ us in trouble,” Joel joked before biting into a slice of garlic bread.

Sarah stuck her tongue out at him. “You started it.”

You giggled, shaking your head.

You adored the dynamic between the two, although there were times when it could be a bit much. Somehow, you seemed to bring a bit of balance to it all—you had become the calm, level headed presence if and when Sarah and Joel’s antics ever went overboard.

You wouldn’t have it any other way, of course.

Although Joel had been seeing you for about two or so years now, he hadn’t introduced you to Sarah until six months into the relationship. You hadn’t been offended by that in the slightest—you knew that he’d done his fair share of dating around before you came along, and he had made the sore mistake of introducing his young, impressionable daughter to a large number of different women who, in the end, never stuck around. Not wanting to cause any further confusion or strife for Sarah, Joel vowed never to bring another woman into his daughter’s life again, not unless he was absolutely certain it was someone who would actually stay.

That woman turned out to be you.

Joel had met you when he and his younger brother, Tommy, walked into Moe’s one afternoon for lunch. Tommy set his sights on you first, flirting up a storm, but it was Joel who you’d connected with. Joel ended up visiting the diner several times after that, going in for a cup of coffee at least every other day until he’d finally worked up the courage to ask you out on a date. That one date turned into two, two turned into three, and by date number six, you two had completely fallen for each other. Joel realized early on that you were the real deal, but nevertheless, he still chose to wait to introduce you to his then eleven year old.

When the time to meet Sarah finally came, you’d been so nervous; you were in love with Joel, but you knew that if his daughter didn’t like you, it could all come crashing down. Your first interaction with Sarah had been a little awkward, but as you got to know each other, things slowly started to shift in the right direction. The more time you’d started spending around her—with her—the closer you two became and your bond eventually flourished.

A few months later, you moved in with her, Joel, and Tommy.

“It’s going to be so nice having another girl around here,” Sarah had told you excitedly while helping you unpack a box of your things in Joel’s bedroom. “There’s way too much testosterone around here.”

The two of you had become inseparable.

Joel often liked to joke that she liked you more than she liked him.

He wasn’t totally wrong about that.

All you could do was hope that the news of the baby wouldn’t change how Sarah felt about you. You loved Joel, of course, but you’d grown to love Sarah too. They were your family.

The timer that you’d set on the oven started beeping loudly, pulling you from your train of thoughts. “Those would be the cupcakes that I made for dessert.”

“Chocolate?” Sarah asked you with shining, hopeful eyes.

“Of course. What other flavor is there?” You winked as you stood up from your chair.

She punched the air lightly. “Yes! Can I help you frost them?”

“As soon as they cool down,” You promised, touching her shoulder lightly as you walked by her and off into the kitchen.

“Tonight just keeps getting better and better,” Sarah sighed contentedly, picking up her fork.

Joel watched her for a moment in silence, a small smile on his face. “Hey,” he said after minute or two, garnering Sarah’s attention. “You really like her, don’t you, kiddo?”

“Of course! She’s got to be like, the coolest person ever,” Sarah remarked in between more bites of her pasta. “What’s not to like? She’s smart, she’s pretty, she’s fun to talk to,” she started ticking things off her list. “She has amazing taste in movies and music. Oh, and she lets me borrow her clothes.”

He laughed, suddenly realizing that the Red Hot Chili Peppers band tee shirt she was wearing actually belonged to you. “You’re askin’ for her permission to wear her stuff, right?”

Sarah batted her eyelashes innocently at him. “She said that I didn’t have to ask. In fact, she said I could just help myself to her side of the closet whenever I wanted.”

Joel tossed another crouton at her. “I don’t care what she said, it’s still polite to ask, missy.”

“I’m just kidding, dad! Jeez,” Sarah rolled her eyes. “Of course I ask her. You didn’t raise a heathen.”

Joel snorted lightly and leaned back into his chair. “Sometimes I ain’t so sure about that, babygirl.”

After a minute, Sarah’s eyes met his across the table. “Hey, dad?”

“Yeah?”

“You like her a lot too, don’t you?”

“A hell of a lot,” he answered, honestly. “You know, I never thought I’d meet someone like her.”

“Me either,” Sarah admitted. “But I’m really glad that you did.” She paused, offering him a tiny, but genuine smile. “You deserve to be happy, you know?”

Joel’s heart warmed inside of his chest. He lightly kicked her foot underneath the table with his. “Look at you being a big ol’ pile of sentimental goo.”

“And this is exactly why I don’t ever say anything,” Sarah huffed, but she giggled. “You always ruin it.”

“Always ruin what?” You asked as you walked back out of the kitchen. You took your seat and picked up your glass of iced tea looking between the two. “What did I miss?”

“Oh nothing, my dad is just being annoying, as always,” Sarah kidded before she began to polish off the remainder of her dinner.

A long, but comfortable silence fell over the table.

You glanced over at Joel, wondering when it would be time. His gaze met yours and he raised an eyebrow, as if silently asking you if you were ready. Although you weren’t, you gave him a subtle nod.

Joel cleared his throat. “Sarah?”

“Hmm?”

“There’s somethin’ that we want to tell you,” he began to say, earning himself a puzzled look from his daughter. He hesitated, as if trying to figure out the best way to just spit it out. “We’ve been wantin’ to tell you this for a couple of weeks now, but we wanted to find the right moment and well, I think this is it—we’re havin’ a baby.”

Sarah’s fork clinked loudly against her plate as she dropped it in surprise. “What?” she gasped, her wide eyes flicking to you. “Are you freaking serious?”

You nodded, wondering if that was a good reaction or a bad one. You couldn’t quite tell just yet. “I’m having a baby,” you confirmed, lifting a hand and running it nervously through your hair.

Sarah stared at you, her eyes still wide and what looked like a smile threatening to break out across her face. “Swear it?”

You exhaled a breath of relief. “Swear it. I’m six weeks right now.”

Letting out a little squeal, she jumped up from her chair and ran over to you, throwing her arms around your shoulders. “I can’t believe this!” She squeezed you tightly—a little too tightly. “Do you know what it is yet? When will you know? Can we start looking at baby stuff this weekend? Can we buy it clothes already?”

“Sarah, breathe.” Joel shook his head, although he was grinning from ear to ear. “And more importantly, let her breathe.”

“Shut up, Joel. She’s fine,” You waved a hand dismissively at him as you wrapped your arms around her, hugging her back. “I honestly didn’t think you’d be this excited.”

“Are you kidding me?” Sarah exclaimed as she pulled away. “This is the best news ever! I’ve been all by myself for so long!”

“Hey, what are we? Chopped liver?” Joel threw his hands up and then brought them back down onto his lap.

“Oh, you know what I mean.”

“No, I really don’t.”

Sarah shrugged. “Well, it’s just been me all these years, dad. But now I get to have a little brother or sister.” She paused and glanced at you. “Is it wrong to say that I really, really hope it’s a girl?”

“Then it would be three against one,” Joel realized, the color draining from his face slightly. “Jesus Christ, I really hope it’s a boy.”

“You have Uncle Tommy.”

“He doesn’t count.”

“Joel!” You snapped at him, causing Sarah to throw her head back and laugh. “Don’t say that.”

“The score is even,” Sarah stated. She pointed a finger at him as she walked back to her chair and sat down. “Two boys, two girls. The baby will be the tie breaker. When will find out what it is?”

“In a few more weeks,” You responded, chuckling at the way her face fell. “Trust me, they’ll go by faster than you think.”

“I can’t wait!” Sarah beamed brightly, looking between the two of you. “Oh man, this is awesome.”

Joel tilted his head curiously at her. “Yeah? You happy, babygirl?”

“I get to have a family,” she murmured, her hand resting lightly on her chest. “A real family, like the ones you see on TV or in the movies." She looked at him, her eyes twinkling brightly. “Happy doesn’t even cover it, dad.”

#joel miller x you #joel miller imagine #joel miller x reader #joel miller fluff #joel miller x y/n #joel miller x female reader #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller pedro pascal #tlou fanfiction #tlou imagine #the last of us fanfiction #joel miller hbo

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customprintingcups · 3 months ago

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michverdun · 7 months ago

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"Alright," he said, coming up to the counter when his order was called out. I need your help with something real quick."

I had no time to respond before he put both of his pecs on the counter, the twin globes taking up the entire width of it. just one of them probably had more meat in it than my entire torso.

"Just put it in there." He nodded, signaling to the deep crevice of his pecs.

After a fair bit of hesitation, I slowly pushed the cup in-between his pecs. His muscles were comfortably warm, and fairly soft when relaxed. I had to shift around a bit just to hide the boner I was sporting after touching his muscles.

"Little bit further..."He let out a little grunt as I pushed the cup in his pecs. "There. Now bring it up a little bit? Almost...almost... there! Now tilt it towards my head a bit."

The cup was put near the top of his pecs but still firmly nestled between them. I tilted it forwards, just so that the straw was near his mouth. the cup had some pressure on it, but not enough to bend the plastic, just keep it in place. The control he had over his pectoral muscles was something else.

"That's amazing." I said, almost breathless.

"Thanks man, it took a lot of practice to get this good at it." He said as he took a sip of his coffee. "Not really with cups, but hey, same principle."

He turned to the side, so that his arms could actually reach the counter without hitting his pecs, and put a $20 bill down and winked.

"Thanks for the help man. the other coffee shop I went to got real weirded out when I asked for help."

With that, he slowly started to walk out of the cafe, wide gait to accommodate his tree trunk thighs and his chubbed up dick, which was reaching down to his knee in the sweatpants he was wearing.

I hoped that he would stay a repeat customer, and that he would come back on my shifts.

#muscle fiction #muscle morph

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stxr-slut · 4 months ago

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Hey, how’s it going?!! is it possible that you could write a dad!luke x fem! reader and please make it super duper fluffy. I kinda always imagined Luke as a girl dad!

Sorry it took me so long to get to this. I went through a massive slump, but I'm back, and hopefully, I'll keep it up this time. I realised about halfway through that you might be talking about single dad!luke and so I apologise if this wasn't what you had in mind!

It had been a long day, you'd been yelled st by countless entitled customers st the coffee shop where you worked, and you just wanted to get home.

When you did eventually finish your shift and make your way home, you were insntely net with the sound of giggles as you entered the small house you shared with your fiance, and the young daughter daughter you had together.

You crept up the stairs to your daughters room, not wanting to disturb whatever was happening, and the sight you were met with was nothing short of adorable.

Luke and your daughter were sat on the floor of her bedroom, dolls and teddies making up the rest of the circle, with the little plastic tea cups placed in front of each 'person'

The little girl was smiling and giggling, making up some fake gossip and talking in a posh voice, she was wearing one of her princess dresses, and like had on a tiara and some rather.. messy makeup smudged over his eyes and lips.

The sight melted your heart, making you forget all about your rough day at work.

#luke castellan #luke castellan pjo #luke castellan blurb #pjo #percy jackson #percy jackon and the olympians #luke pjo #pjo luke #luke castellan fluff #dad!luke #dad!luke castellan #luke castellan x reader #luke castellan x fem!reader #dad!luke x fem!reader #barista!reader #luke castellan x barista!reader

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carolmunson · 1 year ago

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spin doctor | e.m. x reader

mini ficlet, eddie munson works at a record store. he’s a little snobby. sort of shy!reader if you squint? it’s the very late 90s.

tw: 18+ references to smut/virginity, all around meet-cute-ish.

The rain slaps off the top of your coffee cup and into your eyes while you take a sip, woefully regretting not bringing an umbrella because the weather man said it was only misting. This isn't mist, this is just under a downpour, the hood of your dad's old canvas jacket doing little to protect you from the rain while it darkens with each drop the green fabric absorbs. You stop at the corner, protecting yourself from the weather under the awning of a laundromat. Squinting up towards the overcast gray sky, you double check the cross streets, two more blocks and you'll make it there. There being the record store that you found in the yellow pages after you inherited your parent's record player in their latest attic clean out. Your dad was smart though, sold all of the records that were in mint condition to collecters -- which left you recordless and sort of at a loss of where to start now that they were only sold at specialty stores.

You hurry your way down the next two blocks, finally seeing the sign for VI Chord Records lit up across the street in buzzing red neon. You wait to cross, seeing the reflection of the light in the wet asphalt while the sky starts to darken. Winter easing in slow these days while the nights start to come quicker than expected.

The door jingles when you open it, two guys at the check out counter looking up breifly and then back to their conversation; the other patrons don't even look. You take a breath, happy that at least no one is paying attention. You've never been to a record store before -- bought music, sure; CDs and cassettes but never vinyl -- that was like an old people thing. But your dad couldn't stop going on and on about how music just sounds better when you listen to it like that; and to be fair a lot of your favorites from the 60s and 70s sounded flat on your Walkman. You were on the hunt for the authentic experience now, the real deal.

You start at the 'New Arrivals' bin, pulling down your hood and taking off your headphones to put in your nylon back pack while you search. You sip your coffee while your fingers flick, flick, flick through the sleeves, crunching on and over the plastic protective covering of each record. You don’t know who most of the artists are, names hidden in intricate artwork or vulgar close ups of tits and crotch. You laugh at a few under your breath.

You continue your search, going over to the K section to see if you can find Carole King’s Tapestry, only to be inundated with Kiss record after Kiss record. Kix, Krokus, Kick Axe — King nowhere in the bunch. You let out a soft sigh, eyes scanning the back wall over the guys heads at the check out counter. Guitars hang on the velvet wall paper, gleaming with a fresh sign with scribbles of signatures on them. You land over by the S section, fingers flick flick flicking again to run into Slayer, T’s taken over by Twisted Sister. You don’t even realize how much time has gone by until you take a sip of coffee and nothing is left.

“Can I help you find something?”

You jump, not expecting to head a disembodied voice by the back of your neck, “Huh?”

“You just seem like you’re not finding what you’re looking for, can I help?”

You turn while he asks, one of the guys from the counter who looks like he’s stuck somewhere in the 80s and his grunge phase. His hair is to his shoulders, wavy and cut into a shag that put your moms 70s hair do to shame. The slight stubble on his chin and cheeks stretches with his smile — customer service perfection, but only for pretty things like you.

His crosses his arms over his army green tee, matching your coat that’s nearly dry now. His tattooed arms bulge slightly in the stance, straining against the small sleeves. Your eyes focus on the guitar pick dangling in the center of his chest; suddenly embarrassed by the attention.

“Um,” you start, eyes flicking up to meet his brown ones — soft and eager, like he’s excited to talk to you. Your eyes scan down to the black and gray flannel tied around his narrow waist, falling limply over his dark wash worn jeans into combat boots.

“Uh,” you stutter for a second, trying to not to get caught up in this handsome stranger, “I’m sorta new to records. My dad just gave me his but he sold all his good stuff so um — starting from zero I guess.”

“Ooh, nice,” he grins, “So a virgin, huh?”

You sputter, “Well um — no but —”

“Vinyl virgin, sweetheart,” he winks, “Don’t worry. I don’t need to know the horny details.”

“So what were you trying to find today?” he asks, leaning against the stacked milk crates full to the brim at the center of the room, “We actually just got some solid rares in if you’re trying to start a good collection.”

“I just wanna listen to oldies,” you laugh.

He laughs too, it’s smoky and cool, “Nah, nah, I hear you. What kinda oldies like — early Black Sabbath or…?”

You bite your lower lip, “I was more thinking like um, Motown? The Temptations? Maybe some James Taylor. I was mostly trying to find The Flamingos single for —”

He laughs while you continue on but then realizes you aren’t joking, head coming back to center, “Oh you’re, you’re serious?”

You feel heat lick at your cheeks and chest, sweat slickly creeping on the top of your back, “Yeah I thought…it’s a record store so—”

“Not that kind, princess,” he shrugs, hands dropping to lean against the crates behind him, “We only sell hard rock and metal here for the most part. You could check the dollar bins for drop offs, we don’t really sort those.”

“Oh,” you nod, averting his gaze while you see the big bin in the corner labeled ‘Dollar Donations’.

“Yeah maybe you’ll find your doo-wop stuff in there or something,” his voice has a hint of teasing to it that makes your teeth grit.

“Are you like, shitting on me?” you ask shakily, kind of surprised this is actually happening to you. That this guys is legitimately being a jerk over wanting music that maybe he’s not into.

“No, no, no,” he urges, “No. I’m sorry, seriously. It’s just that we don’t really get people who come in here not looking for what we sell. We’re kinda well known for being a vintage metal store.”

“Yeah well, I didn’t know that so,” you shrug, defeated weighing down your shoulders.

“It’s okay,” he assures, sweet smile tugging his lips up to reveal deep dimples, “You’re a vinyl virgin, remember?”

“Yeah, I remember,” you roll your eyes, making your way to the bin while he follows behind you.

“Maybe if you tell me what kind of music you like now I can find a good one for you,” he offers, hand resting on his chest that’s covered in silver rings and chipped nail polish, “I’ve been told I make great recommendations.”

“I’ve been liking Blink-182 lately. Backstreet Boys on the other side of the coin,” you shrug, “And um, one of my friends has been trying to get me into Nine In Nails.”

“Now we’re talking,” he smiles, “There we go. Anything else? What’s the other older stuff you like?”

“Uh, um,” you shrug again, “Elton John? Eric Clapton?”

He nods again, “Okay, some of this stuff I can work with. What about uh, hmm, Fleetwood Mac? Sort of your vibe?”

You smile at him without meaning to, making him nearly stutter at the site, “Yeah, that’s sort of my vibe.”

“Alright,” he nods while he racks his brain for the perfect album to pick for you, “I think I got an idea of what to pull for you.”

“Okay,” you cross your arms with a smirk, “Fine. I hope it’s impressive.”

“Oh, sweetheart,” he grins cockily, “Never had anyone complain about me popping their cherry.”

“At least take a girl for a drink first,” you joke back, “I don’t even know your name.”

“I’m Eddie,” his hand extends out and you take it, his skin warm and slightly clammy at his never ending bumbling when talking to girls like you, “Happy to be taking your vinyl virginity today.”

You laugh, squeezing his hand slightly when you introduce yourself before letting go, “Be gentle, please. I’m new to this.”

“C’mon,” he cocks his head to the opposite wall by the ‘F’ section, “I got a lot to show you. We’ll go slow.”

He winks again; making you swallow hard. It might not have been where you meant go today, but it might have been exactly where you were meant to be.

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson #eddie munson smut #eddie munson fan fiction #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson fanfiction #eddie stranger things #stranger things fan fiction #stranger things au #eddie munson au

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chosos-mascara · 1 year ago

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sired

𝙡𝙚𝙫𝙞 𝙖𝙘𝙠𝙚𝙧𝙢𝙖𝙣 𝙭 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧

𝘀𝘂𝗺𝗺𝗮𝗿𝘆 - levi is just a regular at your coffee shop - until you're bleeding out, with no other option than to see the true beast he is.

𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 - vampire levi x reader, reader is turned, reader is attacked (not by levi), blood, biting, general vampire stuff, make-out, sex, cunnilingus, spit swallowing and swapping

4.5k words, yes i am reusing this photo of him cuz he's pretty

In this life, blood had run through vein to be taken from others.

Of course, there had been the weight of guilt to burden the shoulder of those who'd drank the life from another, though within the rise of an undead plague, they had began to drink it without regard of memories, pain or pleasure.

Levi had done the latter; decades spent underground to prey on those in the shadows, brain riddled with disgusting memories of the past. Erwin had drawn him from this hole and with that, a new life had been birthed. Though, even with a clean slate, ghosts had still remained.

These hauntings of the past had brought Levi to a simple life, one with routine, and control. An example of this would be his morning tea, always taken from the same shop, with his arrival and departure time as precise as each day would allow. Unfortunately, with a difference in this very schedule, Levi had been six hours late to his local coffee shop, seeing a shift change and new faces.

You hadn't met the man before you - you were sure of that. Though, when staring into the grey eyes on the other side of the counter, there had been something so hauntingly familiar - or was he just undeniably mesmerising? There had been an unforgiving and all-encompassing pull toward the stranger; one that had felt both warm and frightening.

"Are you listening?" His voice pulled you from the depths of your daydreams, his face stern and brow furrowed. You cleared your throat, glancing down to your idle finger hovering over the till. "I'm sorry, sir." An apology had left your lips before a shaking breath, though his abrasive tone would cast your words aside. "As I said, an earl grey -" He cut himself short with the shake of his head. "And, for the love of God, make sure the water is boiling."

His narrow lips relaxed into a down-turned expression, eyes mulling you over once, and then twice.

"Did you get that, or do I need to go elsewhere?"

You blink, lips parting before nodding a response. "Y-yeah." Now trembling, your fingers wrap around a white cup, the other hand moving to grasp a maker pen, though stopping short of the cardboard. "What's the name?" "Levi."

Levi had walked toward the collection counter, one arm crossing over the other, his sight set on your clumsy handwriting and uneasy grip. Earl grey, boiling water. You repeated the order to yourself as if a mantra, a tea bag plucked from box, the cup placed beneath the boiler spout. You checked the temperature dial before pouring, allowing the scolding liquid to fill his cup to almost brim, a plastic lid and cardboard sleeve placed over top.

Within a few moments, the tea had been placed on worktop, a pale hand moving to take the drink to palm.

He didn't thank you before leaving, though with his previous demeanour, you hadn't expected him to.

When Levi had returned days later with the same request, your heart began to beat slightly faster, excitement in vein. The bell had chimed, your eyes moving from the tray of cakes under glass to greet your new customer - and there he'd stood.

As he made his way toward you, you allowed yourself to wonder if he'd returned due to an appreciation of your brew... though with the same hollow stare and frown over lip, you began to assume this shop was more for convenience than a means for enjoyment.

Just as before, Levi stood with arms crossed and expression cold, and when you'd pushed the cup toward him, he simply turned on heel and left. A sigh escapes you as the weight on your chest suddenly alleviates.

"The weather's nice, isn't it?"

Your attempt at small talk felt miserable, and with his grey eyes withdrawing from yours to land over countertop, you had mentally slapped yourself. This would be another memory to plague your mind, with another sorry attempt at talking to an attractive customer.

His brow furrows as he looks to be in thought, before he finally speaks.

"I don't like the heat."

Your jaw slackens. For the first time in the past few weeks, the stranger had not just spoken instruction under a condescending tone, but had instead given a genuine answer to a question you had asked. The corner of Levi's mouth quirked upward at your shocked expression.

Locking up had gone well despite a few customers arriving on the minute of closing, with yourself rushing to clean machine and table. Money was counted, lights switched off, and key placed into lock before you would begin your journey home.

Street lights illuminated your path, your shadow cast beside you as each begrudgingly slow step brings you closer to your destination. Tinny earphones supply you with a soundtrack while your mind replays the images of you jumping into bed after a long day, sheets pulled to shoulder as you would close your eyes to rest.

The last stretch of road before your home drew closer, the concrete growing a little less clean and evened out when approaching your neighbourhood. A path you had ventured many times throughout both day and night, one you were sure you could navigate through a blindfold. You glance over the patches of grass among grey pavement, a few trees standing only slightly taller than yourself. In summer, they would bloom green leaves with wild flowers at their root, though on winter nights like this one, they would only shield the unknown.

A shadow slouches parallel to your path on the other side of the road, one with a presence you wouldn't recognise on first glance, though wouldn't yet alarm you. Seeing another at this time of night wasn't particularly unusual; a busy town on a Thursday evening had some form of nightlife, although when seeing the figure's odd gait, your feet did move slightly faster.

There was a hint of apprehension with your movements, though you had ultimately decided on keeping your gaze straight and arriving home with haste. It wouldn't be too much farther now, though when glancing over shoulder to see the emptiness of the other side of the road, dread filled you to core.

A sudden weight is born over your shoulder, a sharp pain in neck. Although you begin to thrash, a pair of arms hold you still, the sting of what felt to be a bite allows warmth to seep from your body, exhaustion dousing you.

At some point, you are freed enough to allow you to stumble forward, slumping toward pavement. Your hand flies to the wound on your neck, alarm rushing through you upon the realisation you were losing a lot of blood, fingers slipping around the puncture holes to be coated in crimson.

A numbness begins to spread through your body, a coldness enveloping you.

You lay back to the pavement, head turning to side as you try your best to press into the injury in attempts to stop the bleeding, though with your vision turning blurry, you weren't sure how effective your weakening grasp would be. Focusing your altered vision, you can make out two figures before you, one looking to be the same hooded shadow you'd seen across the road, the second having a recognisable silhouette, though you couldn't quite put your finger on where you'd seen that coat before, and the black slacks, perfectly tailored to meet ankle -

You had blinked only once, you'd felt sure of that. But, it looked as if minutes had passed before you, the two figures now separated, one left to only a heap on the floor. There was a presence beside you, and with racing heart, you turned to meet their view.

The stranger looks to be Levi, your crush from the shop, and over the ringing of your ears, it'd sounded a lot like him, too. Just as you'd fallen to unconsciousness, you could've sworn his eyes had changed from grey to red, two canines elongated to look much like the fangs of a vampire.

Heavy lids flutter between that of dream and reality as you stir, harsh pavement feeling much softer than you had remembered. Though as you came to, memory foam supporting your body, you were quick to realise that the warmth engulfing your body had not been that of cement floor, but a bed that hadn't felt much like your own.

With the cloud over your eyes fading, you set your sights on the plain ceiling above, with a slow drift down to the thick sheets draped over your person. Your scent had been the second to last sense to return - the smell of cedarwood and pine.

Your home had been many things, but none of these attributes had felt at all familiar. Not a spec of dust in sight, nor blemish... The only thing that had been certain was your confusion at the current situation, and paired with the jumbled events of the night prior, you had been left to wonder how you had ended up in such room.

And finally, you are graced with the sensation of pain.

Your neck throbbed, a tingling feeling to flow into vein, and perhaps the beginnings of a fever. There was a reluctance in your movements as your hand had made way to the wound, a withdrawal from the spot much before you'd come to cup it. Would the skin be mauled and tattered?

Memories flash before you - thick blood pooling over your neck, the sensation of all life leaving your body. You brace yourself as your fingers finally fly to the injury, though you are left to feel dissatisfied by the bandage covering the skin; a barrier to your true condition. Previous events are farthest from vivid, though in the midst of searching your mind, you find a fragment of certainty - the stranger from the coffee shop. Black hair left to fall over brow, concerned grey eyes turning to resemble that of beast with pointed fangs.

The wound throbbed as you remembered now, that taste of iron within your own mouth. How had that come to be?

As you sit upright, the room spins. Despite this, you allow a single leg to drop to the floor, followed shortly by the other, your weakened arms pushing from mattress to start your investigation. This home's walls had acted as your crutch as you'd moved to leave the bedroom, soon making it through the door, fingers still grazing plaster as you willingly make your way into the unknown.

The corridor is been clean, walls plain in colour with a few paintings mounted proudly. They look to be expensive, though you don't marvel, instead moving closer to an explanation.

"You're up."

The words jolt you to core, eyes widening in both shock and fear as you turn to look over your shoulder, Levi standing a mere few feet from your own trembling body. One glance over his lips cause your throat to constrict, a shallow gasp pushes from chest as you felt to lose your balance, falling down onto the floor.

You remember now, the fear you'd felt with a figure's teeth far into your throat, and how it had felt to have your very life drained from your soul. You saw how Levi had torn your attacker from your being, only to seat himself beside you as you'd felt close to taking your last few breaths - how sporadic they'd been.

He'd taken his own wrist to his mouth, a redness over lips as he'd pulled the appendage away only to force his mouth to yours, a red ambrosia forced over your tongue to douse your throat in burning liquid. You'd screamed against him, you'd thrashed and cried, though within only moments your eyes had felt heavy, the poison suddenly lulling you into security.

Levi despises the look you give him now, the horror and pain twisted in your face. It had been a look he'd seen few times before, though hadn't had to endure in a long while. He hadn't missed the fear he'd caused others.

"I won't hurt you." His arm raises as he takes a step toward your frightened body, voice timid. His hand reaches yours, ice cold skin wrapping over you to offer aid. Calming yourself, you stand.

"You can leave if you want." Your neck thrums as you stare at him, and if not for his sincere expression, you would have tested this offer. He squeezes gently over your fingers, mouth ajar. He knows you remember what he is, and what he'd done. You need an explanation.

"But... shit." Levi's eyes leave yours as he exhales. "There's something you need to know." You raise a brow, chest tightening. "What is it?" Anxiety courses through you as you retract your hand from his, moving it over your bandaged throat.

"The thing that bit you," There's a waver in his voice, and a change in tone. "He took a lot of blood, and you were close to dying." You nod apprehensively. "I had to feed you my own, but it's been a while so I didn't realise..." His eyes close. "You would have died, if I didn't-"

"I'm one of you?" Levi shifts uncomfortably before you, head tipping forward.

"Not just that - tch." He's unable to find another way to put it, but searches his mind in desperation for an answer. The situation pains him in many ways, yet the worst factor had to be the intimacy. Levi had managed to find his way around alone until now, and with this, everything may change.

"We - our kind... We can create bonds with others. One that can link two souls as one, or at least, sire two souls together. It means you can feel another person's presence at all times." At last, he raises his gaze from the floor, looking into your eyes. "You're now tethered to me."

The news sinks in slowly, butterflies within your stomach as you sense the connection he speaks of. There had been some hesitance too, but this had stemmed from the limited understanding of what this label would entail, and what this existence would involve. As you stared at him, you grew used to this sensation - the feeling of his soul. It felt cold and somewhat indistinct, but when you focused your mind to it, it was there.

"I feel different." The phrase resembled more of a whisper than a clear statement, and Levi had shared this uneasiness within himself, too. It hadn't just been this attachment, but your senses had felt heightened, sounds felt louder and colours felt brighter. As you peered over his face, drifting toward his neck, you could sense where his vein had been most open, where you want so desperately to sink your teeth.

"I do, too." Levi searches your eyes to find an answer he wasn't sure he'd find, with a step toward you. "I can feel your very being." As he edges closer, his hand outstretched, his fingers brush over your hair, finally skimming over your cheek.

You stare into him, and for a moment you feel yourself lean forward too, but it's as if reality takes its brittle hold over his heart, and he pulls away. "You need to eat." The statement weighs on you, and as he strides toward another room, you feel your body ache for his touch.

You aren't sure whether or not to follow him when he disappears, so you instead await his return, or further instruction. He reemerges not long after, a glass in hand. Only when he's closer do you notice the thickness of the glass, and the distinct red. It had been blood.

You take a step back, breath in your throat as he pushes the glass toward you. Although you try to fight, he places a hand to the back of your head, rendering you unable to move. The glass rim is forced to your lips, the blood pouring thickly to your tongue, and you have no other choice but to swallow.

It's bitter, and runs like honey down your throat, thick, and heavy. Despite your mental apprehension, your body reacts, gulping back the fluid with heavy eyes. When it's finished, you feel awfully satisfied.

"Was it... human?" Although you hadn't wanted to truly know, there was a need to ask. Relief seeped through you when he shook his head, sighing. "We source animal blood. It gets you through the day, but the hunger isn't satiated for long. You will feel a pull toward humans - you just have to fight the urge."

"What about other beings like us?"

Levi stirs, his expression souring. "It wouldn't quench thirst unless they had drank from a human. It's more of a... sexual act than one of hunger."

The skin of your chest feels hot as you watch his lips form the words, and images of intimacy with Levi plague your mind. You remember the distinctness of the blood he had fed to you fresh from wrist - the twang, and the warmth.

Moments pass by quickly as you move toward him, body acting much faster than the constraints of your mind. Imagery of his blood pooling over your tongue had flashed before your eyes as your lips met with the thick of his neck, face pulled into the crook and elongated teeth brushing the flesh.

Levi could have stopped you, your frame much weaker than his, but he'd held back to allow you a taste. He knew the hunger too well, and paired with the guilt he'd felt for turning you, he would allow you to take more than you should.

But, you pull back sooner than he'd anticipated, skin stained crimson with his blood. He couldn't stop himself from connecting himself with you, not when you'd worn his life so beautifully over your lips.

This kiss wasn't much like the last, with your half conscious state and his frantic attempts at saving you, it hadn't felt much of a meaningful moment. Now, here with you, his body connecting with your own and the taste of his own livelihood on your lips, Levi felt freed. Freed of this lonely existence, and free from the sorrow path he'd aligned himself upon.

His lips were cold, yet soft, slipping between your own to grow closer to you. With the initial movements there had been modesty and restraint, yet as you tasted more of him, passion had ignited.

Levi presses his tongue to yours, hand snaking to hold the back of your head and tilt you to reach deeper limits. He swiped himself over you, roaming your mouth to try his blood mingling with your taste.

As Levi found himself losing control against you, he held on tighter and kissed with more force and roughness - fangs clashing over yours when they find their way to scrape your bottom lip. The sensation pulls a timid hum from your chest and Levi groans in response, hardness pressing uncomfortably against his trouser as your own blood trickles into his mouth.

At some point, you end up against a wall, Levi leaning himself against you with need, unhinged rocks of hip to find friction against your clothed body. Pulling back breathlessly, his hand remains upon your cheek. "I can't control myself around you." His voice is smooth against your ear, lips grazing the skin of your cheek. "You don't have to." Your words are quiet but he hears them clearer than day, humming against you.

He takes a step back to regain composure, and you are left to look to him with doe eyes, a tightness in your chest with burning desire. Silently, Levi takes your hand, leading you back into the room you had awoken in not too long ago, stopping beside the bed. His hand runs from yours to trail over your arm, stopping at your shoulder.

"At least allow me to take you within a bed - I would have fucked you against that wall if you'd have let me."

Heat prickles your body at his words, though cool air soon meets warmth as he undresses you, discarding your clothes with his own over the floor before you're on the mattress beneath him.

Levi found it difficult to restrain himself from marking your skin, instead dragging teeth over neck, or flicking tongue to kiss flesh. Your fingers laced within his hair, gently tugging him back to your lips, kissing him with fervour. Saliva glides from your tongue to his, but he drinks it back as if depraved, intoxicated within your taste. You could feel his frenzied state worsening as he licks and nips over you, a clear need to have you in more ways than one. Blood had been a vampire's hunger, both in ways of food and passion, and you had wanted to play with fire.

"You can..." Your confidence fizzles quickly on tongue as you meet his eye, a new wave of anxiety washing over your body. Red irises stare back at you, though in sensing your unease, they slowly fade back to grey. "You can drink from me." The permission you grant to him is one rooted in edge, your muscles tensing when awaiting his reply.

A puff of air leaves his nose in what feels to be amusement. "You don't know what you're offering." There's a seriousness in his voice, led by his own reluctance. "I know you were thinking about it." A stillness warms the room as the statement leaves you.

He shakes his head, leaning forward to kiss you. This time, the movements are languid, a slow-moving pace to instead take time in roaming the mouth of the other. As fluid had been swapped between each tongue, it grows thicker, and a moan catches within your throat.

Fingertips had breached the hem of your underwear at a point in time you can't quite pin, but you permit the tugging of fabric to drag past your knee, exposing yourself to the cursed being before you. His gaze drops to the bareness before him, a stripe over folds with his fingers. Levi allows his lips to hover over your flesh before he finally lowers himself between thigh, palms spreading you wider to make room for his face. He delves forward, tongue meeting with hardened bud to swirl circles over you.

His name passes your lips, back arching, and Levi rolls his hips over the comforter for some form of relief. As his tongue flicks over you, you are left to whine beneath his touch, hand entrapping your mouth in an attempt to muffle the mews spewing from you. Fingertips brushed your entrance, ring and middle circling the hole before finally teasing in, and you writhe in his sheets. When you roll yourself over his tongue he groans, fingers curving.

"Fuck, don't stop." Panting, you beg his mercy, feeling close to falling over the edge. He scissors his fingers slightly, stretching you as he moves them in and out, and with the way his tongue is moving you're unable to restrain from the high you begin to feel. He adds a third, and you scream out in relief, stuttering hips as you come undone beneath him.

When you come down, he's already on his knees with his cock free, pushing the head against your throbbing clit. "Ever since I saw you in that shitty shop, I've pictured you beneath me." His head is rubbing against your slit to gather the juices left, and a shaky breath leaves your lips. Levi places his fingers on your chin to tilt your mouth open, watching your face contort in confusion.

He spits between your parted lips before closing your lips, edging himself into you while looking within your eye. "Swallow." The command was impossible to defy, so you do as he requests, watching as his lips quirk into a smirk.

Levi forces his length forward, thickness finally nestled within your walls. He rocks himself gently at first, though soon looses himself within you as your chest rises and falls at rapid pace, body welcoming his every inch. Your gaze drops to his fangs, finger reaching toward them in curiosity, allowing your skin to be pierced by the needle like ends. Blood rushes to the small puncture, only a pinprick, though Levi was quick to respond, his tongue darting from lip to taste the crimson offering.

With one taste, he craved more. After the sire bond, your blood had tasted uniquely different, reflecting more of his own. He's unable to stop himself from biting into your wrist, puncturing vein and wrapping his mouth around the source. He groans deeply, eyes rolling upward as he ruts his hips much harsher than he'd done before, allowing himself to indulge within your taste.

When he removes himself from your skin, a single droplet rolls from wrist to elbow - but Levi cannot allow the smallest amount of your nectar to waste, his tongue darting along the length to leave not a stain over your arm.

His cock twitches inside you as your head tilts back in pleasure, legs tightening around him. He can feel himself grow closer to release, though has one last offering to you.

Levi brings his finger to fang, piercing the skin in a similar fashion to your prior display, placing the digit straight to your lip. He smears his blood over your lips, and you too mimic his actions from before, eyes locking with his own as you wrap your lips around his finger, sucking before the pop of your lips releases him.

You pull his face to yours, pushing the mixture of blood and saliva to his mouth. He groans in reply, much deeper than before, thrusts growing messy as he allows your tongue to dance with his. Levi's breaths were sporadic as he came within you, pushing himself as far as he could, squeezing over your flesh as his body ached.

The veil over his eye had began to lift as he laid himself beside you, brain no longer clouded - though he still felt an unusual lull of safety within your presence. He pinned it to the sire bond, soothing him into trusting your soul as it had linked with his own.

If his heart had still beat, he was sure it would feel differently while in your presence, and for the first time in decades, he allows himself to wonder what life would be like if he was still human.

"Earlier, when you told me I could leave," The silence was broken with our voice, still hoarse. "I didn't want to." There was a small dip in your words as you fought with your own understanding of the situation. "Why? Why do I feel this way toward you when you're still a stranger?"

He exhales, staring up at the ceiling. "It's the bond." His words won't offer much insight as he barely understands it himself, though he feels himself needing to comfort you. "I brought you back here to rest, but only when you'd awoken had I realised what had happened."

"How will this work?" Your words are gentle, but the question hangs stagnant in the air.

"I don't know, this is a first for me."

a/n: for some reason, after a break in writing, staying in present tense felt really hard?? please excuse me if i messed up, i feel like this is so inconsistent

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