#Custom News - Splat Edit

[splatoonusna]

Here's some of the New Items going to be in Grizzco this Season.

[ink--theory]

this also be how it feels using sorella undercover (I just went A BOMB)

same 😔

[neonseaslugs]

a bit excited for next season, i mean big run on barnacle and dime!!!! and new chirpy chips songs!! but god i fucking need a new kit for the splat dualies!!!!!!!!! squid research lab i am begging you!!!!! (AND ONE WITH A GOOD SUB AT LEAST) like genuinely thinking of using the new undercover brella at this point

[splatsvilles-fashionista]

Today's news: Two Splat (Bomb)-tastic weapon kits!

First up is the Heavy Edit Nouveau with Splat Bomb and Crab Tank, a well-rounded and flexible kit for proactive cephalopods who want to do it all. There's also the Custom Range Blaster, which hearkens back to its Splatoon 1 counterpart with Splat bomb and Kraken Royale, which lends itself to a much more aggressive playstyle than the regular variant.

[puppy-wife]

hey u seem cool, tell me about ur ttrpg-interest plssss (i need ttrpg-friends)

omg omg omg happily!!!

so ive been roleplaying for most of my life, I got my first d&d books when I was like, 10? and I did a lot of LARP as a kid, both by myself and with sibs/neighbors. I got to play my first d&d game when I was 14, and ran my first campaign at 16!!

the game I've played the most is easily d&d, I started playing in 3.5e, which is imo the best edition of d&d, and have played 4e (I actually think this is a well designed game from a combat tactics point of view, but it's terrible as a roleplaying game and as a d&d edition, it should have been its own game and it would have been much more successful), and have run a LOT of games in 5e

other games I've played a lot of include old World of Darkness (mostly VtM, but I've played most of the major splats in some way or another, and love to mix them), GURPS (which I'm currently starting a new campaign for my polycule), PbtA (Masks and Monster of the Week are two of my favorites, with Bluebeard's Bride getting a special shout-out).

I've also played a lot of custom games, or very loose rulesets. Some of my favorites for those include Doom (not the video game, a thriller/horror game played with a Jenga tower), and a game where instead of dice we used a tarot deck to determine outcomes.

I have two main worlds that I run campaigns in, I have a high fantasy d&d-inspired world named Arcanum (this is actually the name of the primary kingdom most of my stories take place in, the name of the real is Faermont) (this is the setting for the campaign I'm just starting, I'm sending my players into my version of Undermountain, a mega dungeon similar to if you've seen Delicious in Dungeon) (I have a bunch of Arcanum stuff posted to my blog, if you're interested in reading some lore or short fics) and I have a dark urban fantasy alternate earth I call Oakvale, which is the main city that I base my stories in (think vampires, werewolves, wizards, fae, shifters, magic, spirits, etc) (Oakvale is a fictional major city in Maine, with a few fictional surrounding cities that I created as well. The city proper is home to the current vampire government, and the other supes either hide in the city or live in the outskirts or one of the surrounding towns). I've been running games off and on in those settings for about 9ish years now.

I love love LOVE ttrpgs and will happily yap your ear off about anything you wanna know, I'd love to hear about your favorite ttrpgs!!!

[xxxdragonfucker69xxx]

hi folks. its been a long week. but its time for HOUR IN BRASS

for those just joining us, a new exalted splat is being released; when this happens, i usually lose my shit and liveread through the charms; this time it's the alchemical exalted, golem-robot-communists inside the belly of the machine god autochthon. if you wish to avoid this, you will blacklist #hour in brass

first third of charms:

Howdy Mother Fuckers. its time for HOUR IN BRASS

starting with: the horniest chapter fiction so far

the alchemical paradigm is that you have only so many charm slots for active charms at a time, but that most charms have submodules that add on without taking more slots. they have to swap charms in and out with the rite of reconfiguration. their dice limit is Ess+Attribute BUT one of their biggest charms is going to make their math oh whatever here it comes

TRANSPUISSANT ATTRIBUTE UPGRADE aka transpussy assribute ultima. which raises your resting attribute by 1, starts to stack at higher essences, and comes with a load of submodules to let you swap what attributes are used for what. god im fucking excited to have these around. unwavering sniper calibration to snipe with perception, for example

actually they have a lot of wacky universal charms about integrating with hearthstones, artifacts, stuff like that. robots be customizing bodies. i do want to point out vat surrogate reweaving system, which lets you speed-swap charms once between reconfigurations. i read it and immediately thought camilla hect Go Loud and started cackling

yes alchemicals can still go colossus and eventually turn into cities. though metropolis play is not mechanically supported

ok appearance. starting with radiant iconography array: anima holograms, but they do stuff like become realistic illusions or huge legendary size stuff

emotive aesthetics of the body electric naturally bangs

patriotism-provoking display has many-is-one node and one-is-many node as submodules, whihc are fun

universal advisor comportment is fun, makes you feel sagacious and advisorly

beguiling aestheic perfection is fun, when you socially affect someone they suffer trying to beat your guile for the rest of the scene. i have suffered this irl many times

pheromone regulation system… i cannot make any jokes about this that arent crass. i once knew someone who was turned on by the smell of xbox exhaust

man the submodule tech is really realyl nice. this is a great fucking way for charms to work. you can flashbang people with blinding strobe projector and then on top of that you can choose to enter stealth, steal more initiative, or make it rainbow

its really interesting to me that appearance is getting so many teacherly charms. with illuminating inspiration beacon "The Alchemical’s faith in her students shines through in every aspect of her neon-limned visage"

damn, and from there is psyche-stabilizing beacon, where you radiate such comfort that it helps people resist brain curses

theotropic veneration mantle rocks. project a principle to the exclsuion of others, and those who share the principle see you as a holy figure

i sort of hate glistering obsession nodes. i dont want to glister. it makes people obsessed with me if they can't figure me out

ooh, disguises in appearance subterfuge. including stuff to appear human, or as a dfferent exalted

optical shroud, a classic, predator invisibility

apocryphal operative halo is really interesting, MIB neuralyzer

semiotic flare projector is a really cute concept. almost as cute as supreme icon of battlefield glory. when you kick ass on the battlefield your troops love it, and you can make your enemies hate it, and at e4 you can project it over the entire battlefield

alright, charisma. starting with effective leadership algorithm, both a great example of alchie flavor and of submodule tech bc its just a menu of submodules that let you decide what kinda rolls you use it on, whether youre using faction-building unity or overriding authority mode

oh synergy promoting upgrade is interesting. helps with bureaucracy if youre leadering, gets better if your group likes you, SPU: communal supremacy makes it better if its for a community, SPU: lifestyle cooperation paradigm makes your group like each other

hdkfghdfjsg universal authorization chevron. the cool s. intuitively recognized as a symbol of authority. UAC: axiomatic emblem means even gremlins/fae/undead recognize you with wary deference. UAC: perfected delegation emblem lets you hand out copies to deputies

heresy declaration beacon, lets fucking go

radiant emblem of integrity is interesting… if you speak the complete truth everyone knows that its the complete truth, and it can also authenticate replays of events projected with radiant iconography array. also if you tell the truth and it sucks, gain wp. fantastically built charm. oh the submodule lets you make it permanent and mandatory

electric fervor inspiration is a set of orichalcum electrodes implanted behind the alchemical's jaw. thats fucked up. oh it lets you reset social rolls thats differently fucked up

battle anthem of the alchemical exalted! made it in! oh this is just a menu of songs thats super neat. including thousand work shifts ballad… and double music

similarly with programming language eloquence "A breaker between the Alchemical’s frontal and temporal lobes filters unnecessary emotion from her communications…" im really having fun with this

damn propaganda interdiction signal: void-quelling chastisement means that gribblies can't call on principles to resist your influence to hangout with mortals

something about vox populi broadcast really compels me. its just a charm to speak loudly but you can submodule it to communicate only with allies or to cut through magical silence.. and its speakers implanted in your throat

ideological override circuitry…

FEAR OVERRIDE DEVICE in warfare

homeguard reinforcement clarion… whip up that militia

dexterityyyy okay we're getting into the combat charms now

omg magnetic subdual coils to steal weapons. including a pulse blaster submodule, field projector, magnetron…

protosynthetic ammunition replicator, as expected, but thankully it is reloaded with "an articulated metal tendril". & btw dispersive flash-chaff cluster to make it a flashbang arrow, fulminating conduction charge to make it a stun arrow, concussive overpressure warhead to make it a knockdown, airburst grenade

being able to group all the "fast attack" charms in one place is fun, the submodules have a cute menu of extra ways to use it

damn, blinding velocity actuator upgrades you to a surprise attack if youre fast enough?

i like that gear-driven reflex automation is, past all the prereqs and flavor lines and stuff, exactly one line of charm. and then some fun submodules. wait damn withering counterattck at e3, with tactical reaction matrix

hacking multistrike accelerator to "enact pre-programmed motions" in pursuit of… erm… well… ok wait forget that this is a really cool charm. doesnt use all your initiative on the decisive, this feels like itd be real fun to fuck with espcially with the submodules

dsjksdks subluminous onslaught: kinetic launch catapult lets you like launch a fucking sword to short range. or your fists

ESSENCE PULSE CANNON. lets fucking go. again the submodules are really cool: concussive, focused, precision, de hey. Sieve Devastator Mode. its sheer heft provides her with heavy cover

skjfdsf autonomous assault processors makes (Dex-2) attacks, but dont forget you could be augmened enough for that to be 4 attacks at e2 anyways, 5 at e3 (if i remember the TAU rules right).

oh shitt transmodal rapid targeting system, bend that bullet. psychokinetic vectors. sdhksdfs this damage calculation is really funny. damn this is fully just children of the sun or whatever that game was. epic

TRANSFINITE ULTRAVIOLENCE DRIVE. time stands still. and then you bank attacks, which seems really fun. shjdskf and TUD: omnitactical processing core lets you add more withering attacks on top

oh huh accelerated response system: unwavering precision lets you not take onslaught if you successfully defend against lower init enemies. thats probably not that strong but it feels strong

casualty-minimizing equations is a damn good name

perfectly parallel defensive geometry…

oh light-etched interceptor barrier is fun. roll parry instead of static. and essence absorption screen lets you eat energy attacks with it

autonomous defensive drones AERIAL! actually theyre more like murderbot drones, they orbit and defend you. … damn, they cant be withered and theyve got almost as many hls as a starting character, theyre a pain to take out. their DO Parry is (Dex+1) so they're like fantastic for ranged fighters who dont parry or dodge

precalculated evasion system lets you bank dodge successes… kind of like light-etched interceptor but not. really interesting. hey what its simple?

omnisituational evasive equation is a fantastic name. ts the perfect dodge. OEE: hyperspatial geometry is really fun

cyclical velocity treads! heelies!!!

and then theres… oil slick dispenser nozzles… in your calves. i love wacky races

momentum-charged overdrive engine is a bangin name… a preprogrammed sequence of combat acrobatics

inclding jet boosters in optimized pursuit accelerator… ts really funny that al these red jade rush charms are also like "ugh fine you can also use these to run away if you have to"

transphase engine… walk through fucking walls

sjdflskdf digital precision effectors splits open your fingertips

covert telemetry mode…

counterharmonic scatter system is just like a really fun charm name. im having a lot of fun with charm names. displaces the sound of you

sdjlfsdf flicker-flare launchers are a flashbang to just immediately enter concealment

ooh matchless assassin protocols… reflexively stealth after a disengage or distract

hyperdextrous tentacle apparatus. can someone get astrakiseki on the phone

total perception negation field. if you see me no you didnt. ending, of course, in unseen deathblow calibration

and thats the first third. im like getting really alchemicalpilled rn. its hot

[tutuandscoot]

Ice Dance Falls, Fails and Flubs

Part 2

1. The Aboriginal Dance

Cultural appropriation at its finest. Seriously. How was this not banned??? VM’s Carmen gets banned but not this??

Points for not going with the standard ol’ Russian folk dance but this should never have been allowed. Aboriginal dance is an ancient tradition that dates back 60 000 years, it is a religion for the aboriginal people. There were once over 700 different tribes across Australia, each with their own unique storytelling. It is part of Aboriginal Dreamtime culture and is a way of passing down legends and stories through generations.

So, what specifically is wrong with this above, well other than ALL OF IT:

The music: this is not Aboriginal music, idk what it is but it is not utilising traditional instruments, the “singing” is not culturally accurate.

The costumes: this is just so offensive and inappropriate. Yes, aboriginal culture and dances use face paint (oca to be exact) but not like this. They do not where leaves all over themselves, nor do they wear strings. At one point in the season, he was dressed in a darker unitard and black face- AT LEAST that was banned.

The choreography: this is just not the kind of dancing that can be done on ice. Flamenco, yes, waltzs, yes, country dance, sure. Not this. This Russian team makes it out as though Aboriginals are Neanderthals. They are not. Their dances are are pieces of art and communicate 10s of thousands of years of history. The nose rubbing is not aboriginal but more a Māori (new zealand/ pacific islands) custom.

How this wasn’t deducted all the component scores I have no idea, it’s a disgrace this won an Olympic medal

2. Yuri Balkov: Human Turd 💩

Partly responsible for the shit show that was 1998 ice dance. Banned for a year then back on the panel several times again, and was up to his same shit once again here in 2002. Spineless turd with no respect for the sport he is.

3. Nailed the Ending

This is much better with volume (timestamp 1:11:00 on the Beijing FD video).

Point 1. The lil ‘sexy time’ moment 😖

Point 2. Why is it necessary to put a move like this right at the end when you have just done a lift?

Point 3. Who came up with this? Of course he was gonna dropped her! She has no point of contact on him so how is she suppose to get upright again when she does not have Tessa Virtue’s core of steel??

Point 4. Obviously on the first watch you notice the drop first, but just before that you get an elbow to the face- lovely.

Point 5. The perfectly timed crash drop on the music. Art. I hope she was ok, this is a horrible thing to happen, but the musically comedy of it is just gold.

Also this was a very bad fd.. so boring, bad music.. this ending kinda came par for the course.

4. Weapo’s Twizzles

Bobble bobble bobble bobble fall over bobble bobble

5. FP/M Salt Lake City Edition

Splat.

Come on man! How hard is it to stay up right? (ice skating is very hard but these are Olympic level athletes… supposedly).

It truly does not surprise me it was considered taking this “sport” out of the Olympics. Thank god they didn’t and two precious bby angels came among to rescue it.

Oh yeah btw.. this won a medal 🫣😵‍💫🥴

6. 22 year old high level athlete doesn’t take responsibility for her own costume; chaos ensues.

I was always taught from starting dance at 3 years old- your costume is your responsibility. If it doesn’t feel right, you get the safety pin or needle and thread and you fix it, or you at least make sure someone else does it up for you PROPERLY, obviously no one wants this to happen to them esp not on global television but it was solely her responsibility to fix it (things are different in shows/companies where you have costumers , but you individually- your own costume you are responsible for). To continue complaining about this for the next 4 years is a childish joke and even if the hideous green dress had stayed together you still shouldn’t have won 😘

7. ISU after 1998: “We’re gonna fix ice dance judging”. ISU in 2002: “Psych”.

I hate this and love this an equal amount.

The synchronicity of Rod and Tracey: “They’ve been beaten, by the Israelis”. (Pls don’t take that out of context rn). Tracey was just 100% DONE with all of this.

From Margarita and Povilas in their crowns, her throwing hers off and storming out. Jeff Buttle shouting ‘WHAT THE FUCK??’ Iconic.

8. Scooter’s Nose Bleed

Poor bby. Iconic way to finish off your first National Championships win. Then they make you go out and do an encore 🤦‍♀️. I love in the first gif how Shay pops into the shot 😂

Also ironic thinking about a certain team at 2017 worlds getting blood on each other and their reaction… do you think T even blinked twice at getting S’s nose blood on her?? I don’t think so..

[flightyquinn]

As someone who also grew up playing 3/3.5, who switched to Pathfinder, and who played AD&D in the years before 3rd edition came out...what D&D3e did you play? Even if you played strictly "rules as written", 3.x was one of the most customizable, if not the most customizable, of all the D&D editions.

In the base game, the rules opened up race/class combinations that had never been possible before, along with granular skills, the wide number of feats, and the broad collection of items and spells to choose from. The great number of so-called "splat books", and the addition of more and more alternate class features that came with them, along with Skill Tricks, new races, new classes, and new systems kept it that way. That's without even getting into at-the-table customization.

This was the edition that put reminders at multiple points in the Players' Handbook that players could always talk to their DM if they wanted to change anything. It's the edition where the listed final step in character creation, after even picking your looks, personality, and background, is "Customizing Your Character." The book explicitly told players that they could fluff things however they wanted, and that if they didn't like the base mechanics of something they were allowed to change it as long as the DM signed off on the changes, with examples. There were sections in most books about how to make your own content, and I can remember at least one entire book dedicated just to helping DMs homebrew. They made it very clear that changing things up at the table was something both intended and encouraged.

When I say the rules were meant to be optional, I mean the rules were meant to be optional.

3.5 PHB, page 5, "The Rules"

Important: You don't have to memorize this book to play the game. Once you understand the basics, start playing! Use this book as a reference during play. When in doubt, stick to the basics, keep playing, and have fun.

3.5 DMG, page 4, "How to Use This Book"

No one expects you to read this book cover to cover. It’s not a novel. Instead, we arranged this book into topics that you can refer to when you need them.

What you're saying about not using rules that don't make things fun is exactly the kind of thing I'm talking about. What I'm saying is that the game is intentionally designed around that. Beyond that, it is intentionally designed around the assumption that no one is going to know all the rules in the first place. Do you know the exact rule for a situation? If so, great! You can use that if it seems fun. If not, the vast majority of situations can be resolved with, "Roll 1d20 and add relevant modifiers. If the result is high, it goes well." You are not only not expected to know all the rules, nor use them, but you're fully expected to change them.

I think an important part of the "D&D is easy to learn" argument is that a lot of those people don't actually know how to play D&D. They know they need to roll a d20 and add some numbers and sometimes they need to roll another type of die for damage. A part of it is the culture of basically fucking around and letting the GM sort it out. Players don't actually feel the need to learn the rules.

Now I don't think the above actually counts as knowing the rules. D&D is a relatively crunchy game that actually rewards system mastery and actually learning how to play D&D well, as in to make mechanically informed tactical decisions and utilizing the mechanics to your advantage, is actually a skill that needs to be learned and cultivated. None of that is to say that you need to be a perfectly tuned CharOp machine to know how to play D&D. But to actually start to make the sorts of decisions D&D as a game rewards you kind of need to know the rules.

And like, a lot of people don't seem to know the rules. They know how to play D&D in the most abstract sense of knowing that they need to say things and sometimes the person scowling at them from behind the screen will ask them to roll a die. But that's hardly engaging with the mechanics of the game, like the actual game part.

And to paraphrase @prokopetz this also contributes to the impression that other games are hard to learn: because a lot of other games don't have the same culture of play of D&D so like instead of letting new players coast by with a shallow understanding of the rules and letting the GM do all the work, they ask players to start making mechanically informed decisions right away. Sure, it can suck for onboarding, but learning from your mistakes can often be a great way to learn.

[askliljudd]

// Heya! The mod of this blog here!

From what I’ve gathered, a lot of people, especially in the splat rp community are new, which is great! As someone who’s been roleplaying for a long time, I love seeing new faces. However, it also seems less veterans of similar communities are around and as such, tips and tricks that people have learned with askblogging and rping on tumblr haven’t been regularly brought up!

So consider this post a helpful guide to tips and tricks to rp blogging on tumblr! I’m not here to tell anyone how to do things, but these are simply things I’ve learned and I personally think help enhance the experience! If you have advice you want to add, or questions you want to ask, feel free to add on, ask me or DM me! Without further ado, let’s get on with it!

QOL Tip 1 - RP icons!

While not necessary for the rp experience, icons can help with viewer engagement and also visually spice up text; especially if there’s lots of it! While any size would be fine, 100x100 pixels or under is recommended! This is to avoid making the post longer than it should be! I’ll be using some of my mod icons throughout this post to demonstrate! You can acquire icons under the various ways: canon art, fanart, or your own art! Canon and your own art are easy, since people know the source and you don’t need to credit yourself! If you want to use fanart, be sure to ask artists for their permission and credit the source!

QOL Tip 2 - Blog themes!

I’ve seen a surprisingly low amount of custom blog themes! In fairness, tumblr has been kind of quietly shoving them away for some time now, though it’s one of the best features in my opinion! It’s a classic part of older internet culture, where you get to cultivate a theme to what you want to portray! Don’t know how to code? There’s plenty of free themes people upload for use! One of the most famous blogs to get them from is theme-hunter, though individual theme makers may have their own blogs so be sure to be on the lookout!

You can enable custom themes in your account settings! Click the edit theme button aaand!

You’ll find the custom theme button right at the top of your settings! You simply replace all the code in here with a custom theme you found! Be sure to try and make it legible for others to look at!

QOL Tip 3 - XKit!

It occurs to me not many people may be aware of what XKit is, so here’s a quick rundown: it’s a third party add-on that improves your tumblr browsing experience! Whether it’s aesthetically or functionally, XKit is here to help! There’s been quite a weird experience with the add-on for years; a history I won’t step into right now, but XKit Rewritten is openly available and free to use! I highly recommend using its many features if you haven’t already. Here’s both the Chrome and Firefox versions!

Blog Tip 1 - Blogs are your friend!

I’ve seen a lot regular anons rping in inboxes lately, which is well and good! But personally, I like being able to find stuff I send people, or being able to reblog it somewhere specific or keep my muses I send out in order! If you operate from a main blog, like I do, sideblogs are great to make and simple! Being able to keep your muses and any asks you send out organized in one spot not only helps yourself, but anyone you send asks out to or you want to reply to I would say this is a bigger personal decision than some of the other stuff in here, but I find it helps in the long haul especially if you want to keep certain things going! Even a blog where you can just reblog asks you send out would be nice! If you wish to not reveal your main blog for whatever reason, you can simply send it on an anon and include your sideblog’s url in the ask!

Blog Tip 2 - Organization and Setup

If you’re intent on having a blog, simply having a blank page can only take you so far! There’s a few important things that I highly recommend blogs have if they wish to help themselves and others.

1. Tagging system: While not required, personally I find this helps me stay organized! Sometimes, all you need is to tag asks or rp responses, but I also like to tag anons and specific blogs I interact with! It helps when I want to look through something and I can use the tagging system instead of the search one, which sometimes leaves posts out! (Note: As far as I’m aware, the tagging system on blogs recently changed when trying to find them from how it used to be, so be aware of that!) Another important thing with tagging systems is to keep them consistent! This may seem obvious, but I had a serious issue with this when I was younger and had about 3 tags with slight variations of each other so none of my posts showed up in the same tag! 2. Blog pages: Even with the default themes, you can make custom pages on your blog that’ll even show up on mobile! (There’s a button for it to show up on the page, though most people link them in custom themes.) You can use this for many things, such as a reference page for your characters and other things, but I highly recommend setting up an about/rules page. These help with interaction between other users

Blog Tip 3 - Roleplay and Post Length

Roleplay is one of my favourite parts of blogging in these sorts of communities; getting to interact with other bloggers and muses is awesome! Which is why it’s so important to keep your experience in mind when roleplaying! Ye olde ancient tip is to “trim” rp posts that are starting to get long! What’s trimming a post mean, you might ask? Well, rp posts tend to get rather long on tumblr, and it can make it a lot to scroll through! Both for you and others. Trimming it allows the rp post to not be as long, but you can still continue with your partner(s). My recommendation is to try and trim before 5-7 replies are hit, but this can vary dependent on the length of replies!

There’s two main ways to trim posts! 1. Use XKit’s feature: XKit has a feature that allows you to trim rp posts; it can end up a little funky sometimes, but it makes things shorter for sure! 2: Make a new post: This may seem like a lot, but making a new post is no big deal! It’s main done by linking the previous reply somewhere in the new post and either pinging your partner or messaging it to them!

As previously mentioned, I hope this doesn’t come across as me telling anyone what to do. These are just things I learned when I started roleplaying, and I’ve kept with me since then. And I hope they help you! If you’ve made it this far, I hope it was a helpful read at least! I tend to not make posts like this; I certainly didn’t expect to make one on this silly kitty blog but what can I say. People outside of the splat community are welcome to rb this if you think it’ll help! I may have missed something, or may not personally use it, so feel free to add on things in the replies or reblogs!

I hope you all have a nice day, and thank you for reading and following this blog if you do!

[alarawriting]

Poodle Pressure

(I wrote this for my first college-level creative writing class, in 1987 I think. The assignment was for a group of us to take an existing classic title -- ours was “The Turn of the Screw” -- and re-imagine a completely different story based on the title. We decided to write about a college student who is cracking under the pressure (I wonder why college students would pick such a topic... :-))

I have edited this slightly to remove some cultural references from the time period that don’t make sense anymore and add some from later time periods that do, and I’ve changed the title, and it’s nowhere near complete enough to be a story on its own -- mine was part 2, and I also did the part 4 but without 1 and 3 I can’t actually even see how 2 related to 4 anymore -- but I thought I’d post it because I didn’t know jack shit about neurodivergence then but I bet a lot of people will find this relateable.)

TW for fantasized violence against dogs. No actual dogs within the fictional universe were harmed during the making of this story.

--

That damn dog is barking again.

It never fails. Every goddamn morning at 7 am, the dog wakes me up. There’s this idiot down there who won’t walk the dog until 7:30, and never mind how many people the dog wakes up. Maybe I should organize a lynching party. You know, maybe get together with ten other people who aren’t too stoned to help. “We’ve come for your dog, lady!” We could grab the dog – and the girl would be screaming, of course, “My puppy, my baby! Don’t hurt my Tootsie!” or whatever the thing’s name is. Then we could drag it out and hang it by its leash to a telephone pole. Cut its throat, maybe, to warn the other dogs. All its fluffy purebred fur all bloody. This can happen even to a purebred poodle, you mutts. So shut up!

What would we have then? Dog retribution? Would the neighborhood Shepherds and Dalmations and Dobies circle around my door at night, with a Gary Larsonesque human doll to burn in effigy? Ah, the hell with it, Berke, you could never get a lynch mob together anyway. Not even a petition.

Why don’t I get up and tell that woman off? “Lady, get your dog to be quiet or I’ll burn off its goddamn fluffy fur.” Yeah, that’s it. Think I will…

Berke, who the hell do you think you’re fooling?

You know, I was up late last night, studying for my goddamn Bizarre Equations class, aka Physics That Make No Sense If You’re Euclid or Newton. I don’t need this. Don’t need a fluffy dog yapping because its mistress (take that any way you want) won’t let it out. It’s 7:10 AM, do you know where all your cramming went? Do you know where your sleep went? Don’t you want to kill that dog?

Why don’t I just put on my slippers and go downstairs and knock on that woman’s door? “Lady, get the lead out, you’re gonna have to scrape your dog off the wall if you don’t let it out.” I said this already, didn’t I?

Okay. Truth time. I don’t have the guts. That’s it in a nutshell. What if I went down there and she called the cops on me? That’d be all I need, with a goddamn exam coming up today. Ol’ Papa Einstein, “I want to know God’s thoughts, the rest are details.” Okay, Al, why don’t you tell me what God thinks of a barking poodle?

You know, I bet if her window broke, that poodle would jump right out and splat itself all over the ground. And wouldn’t that be something. Release, you know? The poodle’s all bottled up in the environment, full of energy. Lots of pressure. So you puncture the apartment and release the poodle pressure, and the poodle comes rushing out and turns itself into a bloody pancake.

---

I don’t know why I did that.

I thought I had it all out of my system, you know, writing it down’s supposed to be the next best thing to talking to a shrink or a friend, assuming you have one of either, right? So I just finished writing about the poodle, but it was just getting me madder and madder. So I picked up my sneaker, went out on my balcony, leaned way over like this is one of those cautionary tales where the young man planning mischief falls ten stories to his death, except I was smart enough to keep my foot chocked against one of the bars so the worst I’d have done is shatter my tibia, and I took my big heavy waterproof hiking sneaker and I threw it through her window, just to the right of her balcony.

As in through. As in it didn’t bounce off like I half expected it to. It shattered her window and went in. And now I have no sneaker.

I don’t know why I did that. I mean, the dog didn’t shut up or anything, in fact it just got louder, and now I’m going to have to go around in my socks all day. How the hell am I supposed to go to class in my socks? I could cut class, but what do I do about my exam? “I couldn’t take my exam because my sneaker was stuck in some lady’s apartment because I was too chickenshit to go ask for it back.” What the hell kind of excuse is that?

I suppose I could try to steal the sneaker back. When she takes the dog out – and it still hasn’t shut up, you know – I could sneak downstairs and into her apartment and take the sneaker. I mean, I can’t ask her for it – “Excuse me, I’m the guy who threw a sneaker at your window, can I have it back?” Maybe I could make an excuse. “Uh, yes, I was – I was testing the wind, yeah, I was testing the wind by holding my sneaker out the window, and it slipped, yeah, that’s it, and, and the wind blew it through your window. Yeah, that’s the ticket!” Nah. I’m gonna have to steal it back.

My God what’ll happen if she catches me? She’ll know it was my sneaker. It fits my foot. “Excuse me, sir, but why the hell did you throw a sneaker and break my window?” What can I say? “Your dog was bugging me?”

Oh, fuck, this is not going to work. Maybe if I wear six or seven pairs of socks, nobody will know the difference. Yeah. “Hey, Berke, like your new shoes.” “Uh, yeah, they’re the latest thing. Flexible Footwear. They’re eco-friendly.” I could say I was adapting to Japanese custom – “I left my sneakers in the lobby. I didn’t want to mark up the nice floor.” “It’s covered by a rug, moron.” “Well, uh, I was Japanese in a past life, you know?” No. That won’t work. I better steal the thing.

What if I cut? “I had to miss the exam on Einsteinian physics because of dire emergency. I had 24-hour AIDS.” Oh, yeah. Right. “I broke my leg but Magic Leg Glue helped me fix it right up! Only $29.99 if you order now!” “My mother died and I had to be present at the reading of the will or miss out on $30 million bucks, you can have a million of it if you just pretend I took the test and got an A.” No, I can’t cut. But how’m I going to steal that sneaker back?

Well. What if I call her up and pretend to be her boyfriend. I’ll tell her to meet me at the usual place, and I’ll burglarize her apartment while she’s out. Only one problem. I don’t know if she even has a boyfriend. Or if she even likes guys. Or her phone number. Or what her name is. That’s four problems, I’ll come in again.

I don’t even know her goddamn name, and I’ve broken her window.

There she goes! Walking her dog! I can just go downstairs now and get my sneaker back. Just slip on down…

There’s someone fixing that window from the inside.

Oh, shit, this has got to be a nightmare. Things like this don’t happen to real people. Why the hell did I throw that sneaker? Did I really believe the poodle would jump out? It was just so vivid… And so stupid. How the hell could I be that idiotic? Why did I throw that sneaker?

I’m tired…

---

My exam is taking place right now. I can’t go. I’m a sneakerless prisoner here.

Maybe I should borrow a shoe from Wood. He’s an asshole, but he’s my size, or close enough… still time…

I think I’ll go back to sleep. When I wake up everything will be normal again and I won’t have lost my sneaker and I won’t have missed my exam. Okay?

You listening?

---

I met a girl the other day.

She wasn’t what you would call a real girl, she was a fake girl, you know? Like some mad scientist boiled down a hundred girls to get to the essence of girl and then poured it into a composite body. Like the Bride of Frankenstein, All-American version. Or what if Professor Utonium didn’t put Chemical X in the mixture so Bubbles grew up without superpowers, as a pure construct of sugar, spice and everything nice. A 3-D printed girl from a high-res mold. One of those anime PC idol girls who comes to life. I kept expecting her to disappear in a puff of smoke or something.

---

I want to go home.

Which is not to say I want to go to my house, the place where I live. No, I want to go home. I’ve never been there before. I don’t think anybody has. I don’t think it exists.

I want to live in a sci-fi dimension where the laws of physics are the same but human nature changes so I’m normal and I’m not alone and I feel like I belong. I can’t even imagine what it would be like, a place where I could be at home. But if I ever find it, I’ll know.

[splatoonusna]

Here's every new Weapon for the upcoming Sizzle Season 2024 put into one post :3

[catsbootleg]

ah, the guys. the polycule. of course, my friend. I apologize for any inaccuracy on my part.

(FOR ANY NEWCOMERS, THIS IS SLIGHTLY OUTDATED, AS I FIRST POSTED THIS ASK GAME BEFORE MOST OF THE NEW SEASONS OF SPLATOON 3. SO, IF YOU SEND IN ONE NOW, I PROBABLY WOULDN'T GIVE A NEWER WEAPON.)

For Denki Kaminari (BNHA/MHA), I give the...

DUALIE SQUELCHERS!!!

imo these are the little guy dualies and even though denki is an alright height he is. a little guy to me. he would have these. also, they look like drill bits! I was originally going to give him a roller, but I thought that dualies fit him more. he'd probably dodge roll off the stage. but I bet he'd have fun doing so!! also after I read the line below "making you a real nuisance to the enemy team" I knew. it is his weapon.

"The Dualie Squelchers are dualie versions of the Jet Squelcher. They feature an exceptional combination of highly accurate rapid fire after rolling, with longish range! You can pinpoint your opponents' positions with the Point Sensor and Tenta Missiles, making you a real nuisance to the enemy team! And you can dodge-roll away from opponents who get close! I recommend them for nimble fighters who want to support their team!"

//

I believe Hitoshi Shinsō would use the...

KENSA CHARGER !

To quote my own Samsung Notes entry on this weapon: "oh my god oh my fucking god get the fuck away from me you're going to kill me you're going to put that charger in my mouth and kill me in the most violent way possible who are you and why do you hate me. why are you always on the other team. and why must you kill me." I feel like he'd be cracked at this game if he tried and if not, he'd at least play with the intent to kill. I know he's not aggressively violent! I just feel like he'd splat player after player with an expressionless look on his face. He feels the ink of his enemies on his hands...and he keeps going anyways! Damn it, quite getting up on high ground to snipe people! Get down, Hitoshi; I'm trying to win here!

"The Kensa Splat Charger is a limited edition, custom Splat Charger created in collaboration with Toni Kensa! This charger has the same specs as the original, but it comes with a Sprinkler sub for expanding your turf-claiming capabilities! And the Baller special gives charger users a way to roll their way deep into enemy turf and take the fight to their opponents! Hang back and support from afar, or press the fight on the front lines! Either way, this set's for you!"

yo so

reblog this and I will tell you what splatoon weapon (any game) your f/o mains (or one that reminds me of them)

!!! proship dni !!!

(I apologize in advance if any of these take me a while to get through!)

[sushigal007]

The Sharpe Household

Now I know I still haven’t finished posting all my genderswapped uberhood pictures yet, but now I’ve edited this draft, I absolutely do not trust Tumblr to save the changes, so I’m just gonna go ahead and post it. So! Back to my uberhood, where it’s time to tackle the second University subhood, Academie Le Tour! Our first stop is the Sharpe Household.

Here’s their cute little house.

Unfortunately, because it was made pre-Seasons, I had to spend a whole chunk of money making their attic work.

As in, ripped out all the wallpaper and floors to do it. In the end, I couldn’t even afford the spiral staircase, so they can’t actually get up there yet.

Anyway, the household consists of Jonah Powers, who has a rather unfortunate-looking face, Roxie Sharpe, who we already met, and her dorky baby brother, Edwin. Roxie and Jonah turned out to be triple-bolt Romance Sims, so I don’t even get to finish makeovers before they wind up glued at the lips.

Edwin happens to be a Knowledge Sim and so instantly rolls a want to write his term paper, so I locked that and made him work out. Need that sweet, sweet A+ money to redecorate!

Meanwhile, Roxie and Jonah went out to Skin Graffiti to get some new tatts painted on their skin rather than on their outfits. Roxie: Where’s the stylists though? I was kinda wanting some new lipstick.

Yeeppppp, it was an owned lot and there was supposed to be two stylists and a cashier, but when I sent them , there was just the regular game generated teen cashier. I wasn’t sure if maybe it was something to do with them being YAs and daring to venture beyond the Uni subhood, so I loaded up my townie business owner and checked the business info and got this rather ominous pop-up. Several others were the same, so I sold them all, bulldozed a couple and brought this one back. Hopefully it was just a random glitch and won’t happen again!

I then sent them to the student center to pick up their welcome packs and try out the custom food stands. Unfortunately, the chef kept erroring out. Happily that turned out to be a much easier fix - I’d just accidentally deleted the food during my mass CC purge.

In the meantime though, it’s time to go home and eat dinner in the unpapered kitchen. At least there’s floors now!

Roxie: I wanted soup. Next time, pinky swear.

I moved the bass downstairs so they could use it. Jonah: :D

Edwin: Do you have to? Jonah: YES.

I got tired of making Edwin work out in front of the TV. You need tons of space for it, and it’s ANNOYING. So I sent him to the pool instead.

You can’t afford it. Jonah: Watch me buy it anyway. (He didn’t even get to drink it, some dormie snuck by and yoinked it before he got the chance.)

Roxie: AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Turns out her OTH is Music and Dance, so it’s nice to have a ‘musician’ Sim who’s actually into music.

She is not into games. Roxie: Why are you doing this to me? Because you wanna write your term paper and you need a logic point.

Delilah O'Feefe invited herself in and made a beeline for Edwin.

Specifically, Edwin’s lips.

Edwin: *SPLAT* Perhaps she’s an energy vampire.

Jonah: Oops.

Jonah: I REALLY REGRET DOING THIS IN MY UNDERWEAR! Delilah: NOT AS MUCH AS I DO!!!

First semester grades.

Roxie: Babe, you could just wait until I’m done. Jonah: I could, but I don’t want to.

I guess all that personal hygiene got them in the mood.

Jonah: Goodbye virginity! Roxie: Goodbye your virginity! Jonah: And yours. Roxie: Of course!

Edwin: Excuse me, coming through.

Family dinner in the newly redecorated kitchen.

Coach: GET DOWN AND GIVE ME FIFTY! Jonah: I’m busy. Coach: I DON’T GIVE A RAT’S ASS!

Jonah: Fine, I’ll do the stupid situps.

Jonah: Gonna cry about it though.

Back to the student cener! Everybody rolled wants to write their term papers this time, so I was able to order Roxie and Jonah to play chess.

And the food stand’s all fixed! Jonah: Soup-er!

Roxie: You cheated. Jonah: Only at chess! Roxie: What are you insinuating!? Jonah: Uh, nothing? What? Roxie: What?

Term paper time!

Has Roxie left because Jonah cheated or because of his stanky armpits? You decide!

Actually it’s because she needs another charisma point.

Roxie: I DON’T WANNA DO THIS. Yes you do! It’s literally in your wants panel!

Roxie: NUH-UH AND YOU CAN’T MAKE ME! IT’S LITERALLY AT 99%!

Edwin: Well this is awkward.

Some pool.

While Jonah works on his term paper.

Finally, ten million years later, they go home.

Llama Mascot: Gimme a woo! Gimme a hoo! You’ll be lucky if they don’t give you a punch.

Edwin: Noooo my dinner!

Streaker: Would a little naked hula make you feel better? Edwin: No it would not. Streaker: Killjoy.

I think this is the first time Jonah’s managed to take an actual bath! Jonah: It’s overrated.

Edwin: Just playing a movie in my head before I go to sleep. Any good? Edwin: Yep, except there was a single line of dialogue I didn’t like and now I have to start the entire thing from the beginning.

Oh, Jonah didn’t finish his term paper at the student union, so he’s doing that now. Jonah: Idea!

Roxie: Yay, drums!

Roxie: Wait, I’m hungry. Roxie: Time to play bass guitar!

I decided to try and find out Jonah’s OTH. It’s not science. Jonah: The stars are still pretty though.

Roxie guitar spam.

Edwin: So the thing is, you’ve really gotta- Jonah: LA LA LA DON’T GIVE A SHIT.

I guess Edwin decided his revenge would be cockblocking. Edwin: Good night, sweet sister.

Really creepy cockblocking. Edwin: I shall watch over you all night. Roxie: SNORRRRRE.

It didn’t work.

Edwin: It’s not that I don’t like you, you just set off all my warning sirens. Jonah: Rude.

A+ all round!

A little sibling football.

Cockblocking again? Why don’t you use your own room? Edwin: It’s busy.

Roxie: Is it hot in here or is it just me?

Edwin: Fada soola gor! Jonah: Fada soola SHUT UP.

Edwin: We can play football though? Jonah: Sure!

Jonah: THINK FAST, NERD!

Roxie: I’m so smart, go me.

She’s feeling so smart, she decides to try her hand at making robots.

Roxie: Robots were boring, decided to do something better with my hands.

Roxie: Which is your cue to leave. Cheerleader: But but but... balls.

Cheerleader: You guys are done, right?

Cheerleader: Harder! Better! Faster! Stronger!

Jonah: DO YOU MIND!? Cheerleader: Lol no.

Cheerleader: WOO TERM PAPER!

That’s disgusting. Jonah: Eh, I’ve had worse in my mouth.

I like family dinners.

Robot repairs.

Roxie playing drums in her underoos.

Roxie wanted a music player, so I let her go and buy one.

Roxie: -And it was THIS big!

Edwin: Please can we move the bathroom door some place else? Anywhere else?

A first kiss soon soothes the mental scarring.

Jonah: She’s NAKED!

Roxie: And aiiiiiiieiiiiiiiieiiiiiiiii will always love yooooooooooooooo...

A+ all round again!

I feel like impaling Roxie to kill the roaches is a slightly extreme reaction.

Roxie: Candy counts as groceries, right? YES.

Jonah: And stretch, two three four...

Edwin: Ew, snow.

Edwin: Ew, roaches.

Skillz.

But not the skills she needs, so it’s back out to the student union to play chess against random teenagers.

Jonah: Help, I’m stinky. *gorilla impression*

Oh, I was tired of roaches, so I tried fencing the bin in on three sides to see if that would stop people kicking it over. Marla: It doesn’t. Excuse me, what the fuck did they do to you to deserve bin kicking?

Marla: Me? Kick bins? I would never! I’m the nicest possible person! I literally just watched you do it.

Roxie: You’re damn lucky I don’t have enough influence points to make you clean, but if you do it again, I will break your fingers.

Oh, Jonah wants to fuck more people and befriend his professor, so why not screw two birds with one woohoo? Jonah: Hello professor, you’re looking very sexy today. Now please leave, Roxie’s due home in ten minutes.

Roxie: Hi professor! Do you wanna build a snowman? Professor: NO I DO NOT.

And the semester ends with a few grades slipping. Oh well, at least everybody passed!

UBERHOOD INDEX

[gertlushgaming]

Splatoon 3 Review (Nintendo Switch OLED)

 For our Splatoon 3 Review, we visited Splatsville, the city of chaos, the adrenaline-fueled heart of the dusty Splatlands. The folks who live here are a little rowdier than what you might find in far-away Inkopolis.

Splatoon 3 Review Pros:

- Gorgeous graphics. - 5.4GB download size. - Import Splatoon 2 save (optional) to get Golden Sheldon tickets, early access to a game mode and settings, and online rankings. - A character creator for you and your little sidekick. - Opening tutorial section. - Full gyroscope controls (optional). - 3rd person shooter gameplay. - In-game cutscenes. - Exceptional soundtrack. - Familiar controls. - Splatsville is your hub town where you can freely roam the streets, enter and use the shops, do deals, read and write messages with others and do some online play. -  Controls can be inverted with sensitivity sliders. Handheld and big screen have seperate menus. - Amiibo support. - Color the floor with your ink color, transform into a squid and travel faster in the ink and replenish your ammo. - You can use the ink to climb walls, jump over obstacles and go through fences. - Multiplayer stages are cycled in and out with two being in rotation at a time. - Booting up the game will give you a brief rundown on any updates, events, and stages available from the studio team. - An online hub that is a seperate place where you can practice, choose game modes and buy new gear. - All gear has stat changes on them. - You are free to roam the online lobby whilst the game match makes. - Splashtags are player cards you can customize and show off in-game. - Earn EXP and level up to earn cash and new gear. - Lobby terminals allow you to view replays, Battle logs, replay codes, edit your splash tag, change nickname, change region, and get stuff. - Matches are automatically saved and can then be viewed and uploaded. - Fast travel between the shops and locations. - Photo mode. - Emotes can be used. - Level up gear and weapons by using them to make them better - Sheldon passes are needed to buy gear and come in Silver and Gold versions. - Test weapons before buying them. - Friend list avatars will appear in the online lobby and clicking on them will show up stats. - Medals are awarded in multiplayer for things like most splats covered the most ground etc. - Fast matchmaking. - In Single-player, you are collecting power eggs and using them to clear out the ooze in the hub areas which in turn opens up new stages and Collectibles. - You can replay levels. - Hidden Collectibles and rewards. - Slight puzzle elements. - The Crater area is basically the tutorial. - Alterna is the new hub world you explore. - Sardium is collected and used to unlock new upgrades. - Six sites within the single player, are basically six areas containing levels. - Splat enemies and fund collectibles to get upgrade points. - Stages are big with a lot in them. - Constant checkpoints. - The catalog is where you earn catalog points as you play and rank up for rewards, you spend your points on unique gear. - The kicker is your personal space to buy and hang up rewards and items. - Weapons and gear unlock to buy as you level up. - The salmon run is back with optional tutorials. For the unknowing, this is a team-based Co-op event against Ai where you collect eggs, fight bosses, and deposit eggs into baskets. - The salmon run has its own set of maps in rotation like the multiplayer maps. - The salmon run has its own leveling system and rank rewards. - Salmon run rewards are - work suits, decorations, stickers, and banners. - Earn multiplayer rewards in the single player. - When the maps change whilst you are in the shops or world, it's a pop-up whereas before it would do the whole cutscenes thing. - The Shoal is where you go to do local wireless play. - Shell out machine is a capsule mini-game with random rewards. - Food and drink need tickets to buy things but they grant exp boosts, cash boosts, etc. - You can view other players' lockers. - Auto saves regularly. - Matchmaking can be done solo or by grouping up with friends, joining friends from your list, etc. - You can post messages/drawings you make with the in-game ink pad. - Earn upgrade points in the hubs by painting the walls and floors. - Stages have more to them now, puzzle elements, racing, unique usage of weapons, etc. - The Salmon run is available all the time whereas last time it was time sensitive. Splatoon 3 Review Cons: - Shops are still locked behind a player-level rank even if you import your save. - Same formula as before. - No way to skip the opening studio intro. - The location rotation is still not ideal. - No increase to the player count. - Doesn't offer any sort of bot match. - The gear always comes down to practicality over looks. - Cannot rebind controls. - The tutorial is very basic. - If you swap weapons between rounds, you cannot then quit out. - Had an Amiibo error popping up a lot at random times. - Can feel like the skill level-based matchmaking is a bit one-sided at times. - Online is the same as last year at least gameplay-wise. Related Post: You Suck At Parking Review (Xbox Series S) Splatoon 3: Official website. Developer: Nintendo Publisher: Nintendo Store Links - Nintendo Read the full article

[splatsvilles-fashionista]

Send me a Splatoon weapon (in an ask) and I'll tell you what I think about it and make an in-game outfit for it.

No duplicates! Here's the ones I've already done: [Sploosh-o-matic] [Splattershot Jr.] [Splash-o-matic] [Aerospray MG] [Aerospray RG] [Octoshot Replica] [Tentatek Splattershot] [.52 Gal] [N-ZAP '85] [N-ZAP '89] [.96 Gal Deco] [Foil Squeezer]

[Carbon Roller] [Carbon Roller Deco] [Splat Roller] [Krak-On Splat Roller] [Gold Dynamo Roller] [Flingza Roller] [Big Swig Roller]

[New Squiffer] [Z+F Splat Charger] [E-liter 4K] [Bamboozler] [Goo Tuber] [Snipewriter 5H]

[Slosher] [Tri-Slosher] [Tri-Slosher Nouveau] [Bloblobber] [Explosher] [Dread Wringer] [Dread Wringer D]

[Zink Mini Splatling] [Heavy Splatling] [Heavy Splatling Deco] [Hydra Splatling] [Ballpoint Splatling] [Nautilus 47] [Heavy edit Splatling]

[Dapple Dualies Nouveau] [Splat Dualies] [Enperry Splat Dualies] [Glooga Dualies] [Dualie Squelchers] [Custom Dualie Squelchers] [Dark Tetra Dualies]

[Splat Brella] [Tenta Brella] [Undercover Brella] [Undercover Sorella Brella] [Recycled Brella 24 Mk I]

[Luna Blaster Neo] [Blaster] [Custom Blaster] [Ranged Blaster] [Rapid Blaster Pro Deco] [S-BLAST '92] [S-BLAST '91]

[Inkbrush] [Octobrush] [Painbrush]

[Tri-Stringer] [Order Stringer Replica] [Inkline Tri-Stringer] [REEF-LUX 450] [Wellstring V]

[Splatana Stamper] [Splatana Wiper] [Splatana Wiper Deco] [Mint Decavitator] [Charcoal Decavitator]

[theonyxpath]

Welcome back, faithful readers!

Last Time we talked about the elevator pitch for Deviant: The Renegades, the newest Chronicle of Darkness game. Deviant will be the eleventh main gameline in the CofD, the third to be written entirely for a second edition ruleset, and if you include every monster, faction and creature ever published in the “blue” books like Changing Breeds or Second Sight… Well, it’s a lot. Any new game has to do something to make itself stand out from the crowd. Unique points of interest, compared to its big siblings. Why should you play Deviant, rather than a “mortals” game using the Lost Boys in Hurt Locker? What does Deviant have to say about the fallout from trauma that Changeling doesn’t? Demon had the God-Machine, all the way from the original 2004 corebook, as an antagonist. Beast flipped our usual crossover assumption from supported in a supplement, maybe, to talked about throughout the core. Mummy brought back player-Storyteller knowledge separation and inverted our usual character progression.

When we pitched the game to White Wolf, we included the following key points, our design goals that would make Deviant stand out.

Simplification and Clarity

Chronicles of Darkness games have become increasingly complicated over the last decade (and as Awakening Developer, I know of what I speak,) with lots of moving parts and descriptive traits (things like Virtues, Aspirations, and Conditions) for players to keep track of above and beyond the visually-easy dot ratings on the character sheet.

Deviant is designed to be easier on a troupe than our other games. The Remade Template condenses several things; no Virtue or Vice and only one Aspiration, as their mechanical functions (willpower renewal and beat generation) are supplied by other traits. Deviant’s powers are dot-rated, bought individually, and mechanics like Supernatural Tolerance (which for everyone but Demons is supplied by a 1-10 trait like Blood Potency or Gnosis) derived from those powers rather than being bought and recorded separately. Our goal here is to have a clean character sheet that’s easy to read and understand.

Chronicle-specific Settings

And I don’t mean settings as in “LA” or “Moscow”. I mean as in dials and switches.

We’ve spoken here and there about how Deviant will, for the most part, be the lowest-powered game bar Hunter, as the Remade’s opponents are mostly ordinary, if organized, human beings. Well, a troupe can change that. A troupe can change a lot about the game.

Deviant characters buy their powers with Experiences, same as everyone, but how strong those powers are – their dot-rating, if you will – is entirely up to the troupe. The total badassery of a character then feeds into other mechanics, informing how bad her Scars are, how potent her opposing conspiracy is, and other things. While isolation and instability brings further Scars and, as the character rebalances, more powers, that initial setting is entirely up to the troupe. A bare-minimum Deviant character is slightly more potent than someone with a Supernatural Merit, an everything-and-the-kitchen-sink Deviant is a walking timebomb. Where you sit on that curve at chronicle’s start is up to you, divorced from Experiences and beats.

It’s not the only thing.

The Remade template itself is somewhat more variable than our other games. The splats alter how many powers, Scars, and Conviction and Loyalty dots a character receives at creation, but that’s a game design element dating back to Werewolf: The Apocalypse. Where Deviant stands out is the support in the game for what we call Forms, modifications to the Remade template as it applies to a particular character. Imagine if Kiths were much more involved, but not every Changeling character had one, or if Vampire presented things like postmortem embraces, clanless vampires, and hollow Mekhet as the game’s customisation option rather than bloodlines. Forms allow us to handle things that require extra rules but don’t fit our splats, like Symbiotes.

Build Your Own Powers

In keeping with the last point, one of the big draws of b is how open-ended the powers list is going to be. All Variations have one of a set list of activation mechanics (I’ll explain this in a later blog) and then the player picks a Variation and “skins” it according to his character’s aesthetics. Creating a Deviant character feels like assembling a custom monster from building blocks, which when combined with the fact that how potent Variations are is divorced from Experiences, gives the game a unique niche among the Chronicles of Darkness, akin to Exigents in Exalted. Mage has the free improvisation of effects within guidelines in play, but Deviant has a power workshop. Our intention is for it to be the go-to game for building playable one-off monsters.

Chronicle Planning / Antagonist Systems

Deviant isn’t just about body-horror; it’s about a struggle with your enemy. A Remade’s Progenitor is not necessarily a member of the Conspiracy hunting them. Many Deviants are self-made, but their antagonists are looking to acquire them just the same. As you’ll see when we get around to blogging about Instability, without some external force to rail against a Deviant’s broken soul metastasizes and inflicts more debilitating aftereffects of their change.

Here’s something I don’t think we’ve spoken about anywhere – at some point between now and Deviant being released, dedicated Chronicles readers will see a ruleset we’ve been working on across several gamelines over the last few years for organization-level play. In the book they’re coming in first, they’re used for player-controlled groups, treating them almost as characters. Deviant will use them, but for the antagonists.

What this means is that the conspiracy hunting Deviant characters will have a character sheet of its own, filled out by the Storyteller from facts established by player choices in character creation and collaborative questions. The more Variations a Remade character has (and how powerful they are) is a key factor in how many points the Storyteller has to spend on their Conspiracy, and multiple players can pool their Conspiracy creation together.

In Deviant‘s Storytelling chapter we’ll have an optional system (in so much as the ST can override it at any time) for determining the Conspiracy’s “actions” in response to what the player characters do in a Story, how active the Conspiracy is in hunting them, and other factors determined by the Conspiracy’s “stats”. This isn’t new ground for rpgs in general, but for a Chronicles of Darkness game we haven’t tried it before.

Tap into Unused Source Material

After two worlds of darkness and 25+ years, there can’t be any monsters we haven’t done a game for before, right?

Wrong.

While inspirational media for some of our games is thin on the ground or requires a sideways view, Deviant taps into horror stories we’ve all seen and read but haven’t had a place in White Wolf games yet. From the last remaining famous gothic horrors – Dr. Jekyll, Dr. Moreau’s creations, and the Invisible Man are all comfortably within the game’s remit – to 1970s and 1980s stories of isolation being linked to mutation and metamorphosis like the works of Cronenburg (especially the Fly), Japanese horror featuring monstrously transformed protagonists like Guyver, Akira, and Tetsuo, to the 1990s and early millennial trend for “minor supernatural beings versus the conspiracy” like Dark Angel, Gargoyles, Beauty and the Beast, and Roswell, to modern classics that draw from all of the above like Orphan Black and Fringe. You’ve all seen a Deviant story, you just didn’t know it.

A Toolkit

To summarize, Deviant is going all-in on the tendency for Chronicles of Darkness games to be “toolkits”. Some of the CofD games have a firmer idea of “canon” than others – compare, for example, the just-as-setting-heavy-as-a-WoD-game Mage and Changeling to the every-Chronicle-is-different Hunter and Beast, but in Deviant no two Chronicles will use exactly the same rules. Within that wide-open customisation, it’s still a Chronicles game, laser-focused on the inner journey of the players’ characters and the story of isolation, revenge, and mutation they tell.

And that story – Deviant‘s themes and mood – will be the subject of our next blog.

Until then!