#Cumulus rambles !!

[cumulo-stratus]

i need to sleep but i don't wanna- but i want to sleep

i wish i could be awake while i sleep so i could be aware of how nice it is yk

or i wish i could jus stop time yk

so i can like sleep as long as i want

[cumulo-stratus]

have I ever mentioned what an amazing writer you are?!?

Omg imagine Reid being incredibly touch starved and literally having this very primal craving for affection to the point it's all he can think about but he cannot for the life of him get over his fear of germs and it's just all this angst and ahh

deprivation [ s.r ]

Summary:

Spencer needs support. He needs it. But he for the life of him just cannot reach out for it himself. And after one particular case, you make an effort to try and quell is emotional rampage.

WARNINGS: germophobia, self deprecation, touch deprivation, emotional breakdown

pairing: spencer reid x gn!reader

genre: ANGST, hurt/comfort

wc: 2.8k

masterlist!!

a/n: great minds must think alike because i was actually already working on this when the request came in😭

i made this less angsty than originally planned, but i hope it suffices nonetheless the less, thanks for the request! <33

Spencer Reid was exhausted in every sense of the word.

His muscles ached, his head pounded, and he was so burnt out he didn’t even have any thing to say when JJ had incorrectly mentioned a ‘fact’ about a certain sub-species of butterfly that was supposedly native to Oregon.

His exhaustion only proved to get worse as the jet took off for Virginia, but the unfortunate rampaging of his own mind proved any chance of him sleeping on the flight home impossible.

“Hey… Are you okay?” Your voice seems to echo across the silence of the cabin despite you practically whispering to avoid waking your teammates, and Spencer’s eyes flicker up towards you, clearly not having expected you to be awake.

You stand up from your seat, walking down the aisle to take a seat on the sofa next to Spencer, his head resting in his hands as his eyes followed you. “You’ve been really quiet since the case ended,”

“I’m fine…” He said the words, but it wasn’t reflective of his tone of voice. There was something there. Something more, something beneath the words.

A sadness.

An uncertainty.

And if you listened to his voice, not just to his words, you’d hear a hint of pain, a deep seeded sense of misery that he was concealing beneath the usual layers of stoicism.

“Spencer you’re talking to a professional profiler, which I don’t even need to be to know that you’re not okay.” You can’t help the soft sigh that escapes your mouth, turning to sit sideways to face him properly.

"I'm fine," He said the words again, and this time they held a touch of force. But the words did not match his tone, still pained, wounded, and silently pleading with him to just be honest with you.

And as the words came out of his mouth, he took a deep breath, closing his eyes as if hoping that what he was feeling would be gone by the time he opened them again.

But when they fluttered open through his eyelashes he was still on the sofa of the jet and you were still sitting there and he still felt miserable.

“If you don’t want to talk about it then I won’t pressure you,” You dejectedly resign yourself at Spencer’s insistence, leaning your left side against the back of the sofa. “But just know i’m here for you if you ever want to get something off your chest okay?”

"It's just...It's just-" He paused, biting his lip as if unsure about what he was about to say. He knew it may be dangerous to let himself slip. So he considered his words carefully before he spoke again. "...it's just been hard...I’m so stressed and...I'm...feeling vulnerable. And I don't like it. I don't like it at all."

“Everyone’s gonna feel like that at some point Spence, especially in our line of work,” You tilt your head slightly at him, a soft expression painting your features that matches your tone.

"I know..." He said, " But...I don't like feeling like...like i can't cope. Like I'm scared. That's not who I am. I'm supposed to be the rational one. The smart one." Spencer dragged his palms up his face and back over his hair, leaning back against the sofa with his head leaned back against the wall.

“I don’t like being scared,”

And there, again, in that simple sentence was another hint of the hurt that his apprehension hadn’t managed to fully hide. “I’m meant to be better than that.”

“Spencer just because you are a functioning genius does not mean that you’re not allowed to be scared, that’s a part of what makes you human,” Your face furrows as you become increasingly concerned for Spencer and his mindset.

"I-...I know..." He said the words, but the underlying message was clear. He might know that he was supposed to have emotions and he might know that expressing them is healthy, but there was a part of him that was screaming at him to suppress them.

To bury his feelings and pretend to be the robot that his childhood (or lack thereof) had forced him to be.

He wasn't trying to be resistant, he was just...afraid.

“When was the last time you cried Spencer?” The question blurted it’s way out of your mouth as your concern for Spencer only continued to grow.

"Why would you ask me that?" His tone of voice was almost affronted by the question as if he were a little wounded that you had brought up something so sensitive.

He swallowed back the lump in his throat, and you swear that you could see his eyes glass over even in the dim lighting of the cabin. “Because i want to know exactly how much pent up emotion you’re dealing with right now,”

You make a conscious effort to relax your features as you look at him, sighing softly. “Please answer the question…”

Spencer took a second as he deliberated whether or not to answer your question, staring blankly across the cabin so he wouldn’t have to look at you.

"958 days ago."

He said the words coldly, but you could hear the emotion in the way he spoke them. This is the moment when he finally cracked. When he finally realised that hiding the way he felt wasn't a sustainable solution.

And its was also the point when he started to break down. The tears finally started to flow, and he couldn't stop them as much as he tried.

“Spence…” You reach out a hand towards him, but you barely get it up out of your lap before he firmly stops you.

"Don't..."

The words come out of him sharply, but there's something in his tone that saying the opposite. There’s a note of desperation in them. A plea. A cry for help. Because he wants you to touch him, he needs you to. But he's resistant to the idea, he keeps resisting it. “80% of communicable diseases are passed by physical contact. I don’t want to get sick.”

You curl up your hand into a ball as you let it fall back into your lap, pursing your lips as Spencer uses his statistical knowledge to stop you from touching him.

You knew he had an aversion to touch. That he was hyper aware of practically any illness that could possibly be transferred through human contact. You knew that he kept himself at a physical distance from everyone for a reason.

But you also knew that despite all of that he needed physical comfort. Words just weren’t going to cut it.

“It’s okay to need to be comforted…”

"I can get through this myself." He cuts you off harshly, and if you didn’t know that he was obviously mentally struggling his tone would’ve cut you deep.

He's in pain.

He's miserable.

And he's been alone for too long.

He needs emotional intimacy. He needs the affection and comfort of his friends.

He just can't bring himself to actually say that.

“Spencer, let me comfort you. please.” You bite the inside of your cheek as your eyes follow a tear that falls down his face, leaving a water streak in its wake.

“It’s not healthy for you to ball yourself up like this,” You plead desperately with him to let down his emotional barriers and just let you help him.

"There's nothing wrong with me." His words are still cold, but he's wavering now. His shoulders are lowering, his hands loosening from fists to lying flat on either side of him.

He wants you to touch him. He wants the affection that he's been deprived of for so long. But there's still that part in him that's resisting. The voice in his head telling him he can't.

“There doesn’t have to be anything wrong with you for you to need comfort Spencer,” You attempt again to hesitantly reach out a hand towards you, but your advances are again immediately shot down.

"Please.. Don't touch me." His words come out weakly. He's desperately resisting, but the tears are still flowing down his cheeks and you can tell that he’s trying not to completely break down.

“…Are you sure?” You hand retreats back to your side the second he denies you, but you both know he’s not entirely convinced of his own boundaries.

"I'm sure."

He's lying.

The tears were still streaming down his cheeks, and even one quick look at his eyes could tell you that he was desperate to be touched.

He was craving human interaction. But the words were still coming out of his mouth. He wasn't ready yet, not quite yet.

Your hand falls to the gap between the two of you on the sofa, a few inches left between his hand and yours as you suppress a sigh at the clear desperation coating his face despite his denial of your touch.

But you don’t want to overstep the boundary, even if he’s not 100% sure of it himself.

He stares back at you, still resisting the urge to reach out for your hand, even though he's not sure why. He knows that he would feel better if he could grab you and put his head on your shoulder, letting the weight of all of his problems wash away.

But there was still the little voice in his head shouting "Don't. Don't touch them. Don't." And he was struggling. Fighting with every inch of his being for self-control.

As the two of you fall into a slightly tense silence, you make a small movement to breaking Spencer’s self made barrier as you edge your pinky finger towards his own, just barely brushing his skin as you keep your eyes plastered on the opposite wall.

His eyes follow your fingers as they inch their way closer and closer to his. And when - at long last - you make contact, Spencer freezes. Time seems to just stand still as his eyes are transfixed on the single point of contact between your fingers and his.

He doesn't move, he doesn't speak. He just watches.

Over 200 breeds of bacteria are passed through people’s hands for every second they’re in contact.

But he can’t seem to pull himself away.

Because this is the connection he seeks. This is the release he needs. And finally, finally he gets it.

You continue to gently bridge the gap as your pinky finger links itself with Spencer’s, squeezing it with a gentle pressure as you try desperately to stop your eyes from averting back to him.

The second your finger links with his, a dam of emotions breaks. The tears flow faster and he lets out a whimper in the back of his throat.

As soon as you touch him, he leans into the feeling and turns his hand over, pressing his palm and his other fingers against your own, wanting more, needing more of this sensation that he's been starved of for so long.

You respond enthusiastically at his acceptance of the contact, interlacing your fingers together and giving his hand a soft squeeze as you finally bring your gaze back towards his face.

“You’re going to be alright Spencer…”

The moment your hand falls into his is a moment of sweet release. The flood gates have opened, the dam has broken, and there are no barriers between him and the overwhelming emotions he's been forced to bottle up.

And as the dam breaks so too does that small, insistent voice telling him to reject contact. That small voice that tells him he can't have physical affection.

Because that small voice is wrong.

And when you squeeze his hand he brings no hesitation into melting into you completely and burying his face into the crook of your neck.

You immediately shift to accommodate Spencer’s weight against your body, breaking the contact of your hands to pull him into a firm but comforting embrace, rubbing soft lines up and down his back as the other held our head against his shoulder.

With tears still flowing down his cheeks and his head buried in your neck, he lets out a soft, contented whimper.

His body relaxes in your embrace, and just lies there in your arms.

He's safe. He's finally safe, and it feels good. He no longer needs to hold himself together. And for the first time in years, he feels loved.

“I’ve got you…” You whisper the affirmation softly into Spencer’s hair as you rest your nose against the crown of his head.

He lets out more soft whimpers, his body relaxing as he leans into the comfort of your embrace, finally allowing himself to just let go.

He takes in big breaths, drinking in your scent as he tries to slow his breathing. He's still crying, but the tears aren't so severe anymore. He's finally started to calm down.

You lean backwards against the seat to support both of your weights comfortably as you focus on soothing Spencer through his emotions, running your fingers gently through his hair and massaging softly at his scalp.

The soft strokes against his head bring a wave of shivers, but they aren't like the shivers that he had felt when he'd been shaking so much.

These are better, these are warm and comforting, and it was like the tension was leaving his body from his head all the way down to his toes.

It feels good, it feels right.

Your touch was healing, and his whole body is relaxing in the gentle massage of your fingers.

“when was the last time you got a full night’s rest Spence..?” The question is soft against his ear as you continue to gently scratch and massage Spencer’s scalp, pulling him slightly towards you with your other arm to secure him safely in your lap.

“I… A while ago…” His words were hushed and sleepy, the exhaustion evident in the slight rasp that was present in his voice. He's been so caught up in the case and the work that he hasn't given a moment's thought to taking care of himself.

He's running on caffeine and willpower. He’s exhausted.

“You should get some sleep…” You carefully adjust the way yo two are sat until you are lying flat on your back with Spencer slayed out on top of you, burying himself in your presence at every point possible.

“I will…”

He's lying.

And based on the fact that his eyes are still squeezed tight against you and the way he's practically buried his body into yours it's clear that even he knows that he's lying.

There's no way that he can sleep right now. Not when he's finally feeling safe. When he's finally found comfort. He plans to bask in it for as long as possible.

“I’ll still be here when you wake up Spencer,” You know that he knows that you know he’s lying. “Get some rest,”

"But-"

He wants to hold this moment, to cling to this moment, trying to delay the passing of time just a little longer.

"I-“

He falters, realising that he's fighting against losing an argument that has already ended. He forces himself to breathe in and out in a slow and deliberate way as he resigns himself to the inevitability of falling asleep.

“…promise?”

He sounds less like a genius and more like a scared child when he says those words. A child who wants to be reassured. Who wants to be told that everything will be okay. That he'll be taken care of when he wakes up from his slumber.

“I promise.”

[thelampisaflashlight]

Swiss, being cocky: -teasing Cumulus about her height- Cumulus: -gestures for Swiss to lower himself down onto her level- Swiss: -does so expecting her to whisper something- Cumulus: -motioning for him to drop down further- Swiss, gets on his knees, smirking: "Finally seeing eye to-" Cumulus, tipping his chin up, glaring down at him: "The next time you try and act all high and mighty, remember how easily you dropped to the ground without me having to say a single word. I'm the one in charge here, talk down to me again and I'll make your nose touch the ground." Swiss, actually intimidated: "Oh. Oh damn, okay-"

[dxncemxcabre]

C2, C4, or B3 for Cumulus or Rain? love seeing them :')

Cumulus my love

[skele-bunny]

Thinking about Mountain...

Thinking about how the pack loves when he gets all sweaty in his uniform. How his pants cling to show his cock outline, always so hard from adrenaline and usually being teased to no ends by the others that come near/up the stairs.

How once they're backstage at least one of em is groping his crotch, just rubbing the outline and purring. How to reaches down his thigh if he adjusted that way or how swelled up his zipper looks as it's bulged out.

Of course, Swiss and Dew with their scent kink just absolutely on him within seconds the moment he takes his shirt off. Face all red, just whimpering and biting his lip when one of them finally starts licking at his salty sweat. He'll knead at both their ass before giving in and letting them sit on each of his thighs, completely lax and letting them do as they please.

Sunny who purposely will sit on his lap the moment he does, angling herself to where her cock outline is touching his. Grinding and purring, just listening to him whimper and hold her hips. Whispering about to wait until later but, noooope. With some pretty eyelash bats and a gentle hand she's got him cumming in his pants very soon after.

Aether and Cirrus who purposely will ask Mountain to feel their chest for "abnormalities." You know, for health reasons. Just sighing and slowly rutting on his thigh while his finger pads press deep into their flesh and grope. How his thumbs will rub their nipples. They know Mountain can't resist himself as he'll eventually croon down to take their chest into his mouth.

Rain who always wears those tiny shorts when he helps Mountain in the greenhouse, no panties on underneath. When he'll bend over the fabric will strain and give small glimpses of his pretty pussy, Mountain unable to stop staring but always breaks away before Rain can turn to see him. Just knows how to push Mounty's button the moment he bends over the workbench and isn't surprised when he's shoved against it more.

Phantom and Rory who didn't believe the late night gossip until they were literally begging at Mountain's feet. Just embarrassed and red as he undoes his belt for them, watching their eyes widen before Rory immediately goes to grab his cock and stroke, Phantom getting closer and resting his cheek on Mountain's thigh. Just genuine and pure awe mixed with arousal as they end up sharing his cock and making out when he cums in Phantom's mouth.

Cumulus who's so happy being his cock warmer. Just spooned and squeezed, Mount hiding his face in her curls, rutting deep inside her cunt before he's able to calm down. He knows her game, however. Doesn't do it for free. Just when he's comfortable and relaxed, how she'll start rocking against him, giving him the playful ultimatum of knotting her or leaving. He'll always pick the first, now more prone to passing out as he's locked in so tight, all his energy burnt out.

[divine-misfortune]

Cumulus' bedhead is probably the cutest thing ever.....quite literally a cloud of hair covering the top half of her face.....

[forlorn-crows]

aether on a video call w/cumulus while she's away on tour, holding it POV style while he fucks sunshine from behind. giving lus all the good angles while he puts that fat cock in her little ass

fuck, daddy, fuck her just like that. oh she's gorgeous. praising her through the phone as she plays with herself. telling aether just how to please her; how slow to grind, where to dig his fingers in, when to reach under and stroke sunny's little cock

she's so hot, mommy, aether purrs into the mic. isn't she just the sweetest girl for us?

so good, lus breathes. fuck, honey, let me see her face.

and aether switches the camera so he can bring it around in front of sunshine's face, smushed into the sheets and blissed out to high heaven. drooling with a little smile on her face, copper hair plastered to her forehead.

hi, mommy, she whines.

cumulus curses and strokes herself faster. fuck, sweetheart; daddy fuckin' you real good, isn't he?

uh huh

[bluravenite]

hi RAVEN how are you RAVEN

If I could request, some dumb in love mountain with cumulus? 😇😇

Ilysm I’m so sorry

kro 🫡🫡🫡💖💖💖

I genuinely don't know where this came from but... I had a vision and suddenly I had spent four hours drawing these silly goobers... Enjoyy 💖💖

[cumulo-stratus]

go check her out, she's pretty cool 🤭

p.s. happy early birthday Zara!!

🎉🎉 ZARA'S BIRTHDAY BASH AND ROAD TO 1K 🎉🎉

Check out this Criminal Minds Masterlist to see what I've written so far.

Masterlist for the celebration can be found here.

Hello everyone! If you haven't known me yet, then nice to meet you :D My name is Zara, and I write fanfics for the fandom Criminal Minds in my downtime.

The month of November is special to me because it's the month in which I was born. With that said, I was thinking about doing something here to celebrate it with you guys ❤️ Coincidentally, I've also been garnering many new followers (hello there!) since I started posting here, and the number is currently nearing 1000 so I thought, "Hey, why not make this part of the celebration instead???"

So, to commemorate this exceptional month, I decided to do this:

YESSS!! You read that one right 😊 Requests are officially OPEN, and all the requirements to send one are listed down below 👀

Every request needs to be sent through an ask. It'll help me monitor which ones I need to get my hands on. xx

I receive requests only for romantic pairing between Character x Reader. I will write for fem!reader by default, so you need to state it very clearly if you want otherwise. It can be in any genre (smut, fluff, angst) but under NO CIRCUMSTANCES will I write anything involving dark!character (noncon/rape), cheating (done by character/reader), and any abuse done by character towards reader and vice versa. With that said, I retain full right to deny a request if I feel personally inadequate to write about the topic or if I find the contents to not be in line with what I uphold.

The requests can be as specific as you'd like it to be. Whether you have a plotline or you only have a certain trope, you can send them my way! We can work out the rest :)

The characters I will be willing to write for are: Aaron Hotchner, Derek Morgan, and Spencer Reid

An important disclaimer tho, I have never written anything for Aaron before, and this will be my first time writing for him so pls bear with me xx

I will be compiling everything I write during this celebration in a Masterlist. Requests are open until the end of November, but may be extended if circumstances call for it. That is, if I still don't reach 1000 followers by the end of November, I may just prolong it until my goal is achieved :)

I can't wait to do this with you guys! I hope this celebration will be as exciting and fun for you as it is for me 😇 I'm looking forward to your requests 💞

Love, Zara ✨️

[cumulo-stratus]

bro isn't so annoying when your tired and you don't have enough energy/forget to put the right emotion into my voice and people get mad at me assuming I'm being disingenuous or I'm mad at them or something😭😭

[thelampisaflashlight]

Cumulus: "A lot of people think Dew yells when he's mad, but that's not his thing; He doesn't wanna hurt his vocal chords. Believe it or not, but he's our secret little song bird, but I digress." -waves her hand- "When he's mad, Dew stares, like, through you. He stares into your fucking soul and decides you are nothing without saying a single goddamned word. Just look there." Aeon, being stared down: -whimpering, tail between their legs- Dew, narrowing his eyes very slightly: "..." Aeon, trembling: "I'M SORRY!" Cumulus, hands on her hips: "I dunno what they even did to deserve that..." Dew: -lets out the biggest, wettest sneeze- Cumulus: "...Ah, allergy season, right." Dew, looking at Aeon: "Why are you crying-"

[ghoultrifle]

gamer rain who also loves creating games. everything from coding to design, he has a knack for all of it.

for christmas he makes each of the ghouls their own personalised minigame :')

aurora gets an arcade claw machine simulator

dew gets his own version of pacman

mountain is gifted with one of those relaxing zen games that have pretty graphics

phantom gets a car parking game because he's obsessed with the idea of parking (it's the autism)

cumulus gets a lil jumpscare horror game like Granny

swiss receives a cookie clicker type game

cirrus is in love with the racing game she got

aether doesn't use technology so is given monopoly but each place is the location of somewhere they've made memories together

rain's love language is giving gifts and he's so damn good at it

[skele-bunny]

Phantom who's bat wings strain out when they cum....

Dew who's thighs shake to the point his partner has to hold them....

Mountain who's dick is so big that when he gets hard he has to put his head between his knees for a little and sit down.... ( @artificialmoth LMAO)

Rain who prefers back shots as he enjoys getting his head shoved down into the pillows....

Cumulus who has to stop mid-ride to catch her breath and simply grinds while her knees stop aching....

Sunshine who's down to fuck anywhere at anytime, even in the hallways just as long as her tits are grabbed and she's called a good girl...

[divine-misfortune]

Cumulus finding Phantom in the chapel one night hunched over a mangled body, blood dripping from teeth and claws, growling into his kill up until he realizes she's there.

His ears pin back and he shrinks, hands still buried in a broken chest cavity, he looks small and scared suddenly. A cornered animal.

She says his name gently, carefully. Phantom's eyes go big and wet and the tears start to spill.

"Please don't tell Lus...They'll send me back. It was an accident." His voice shakes, breathing heavily like he's about to spiral into pure panic. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to -"

[forlorn-crows]

cumulus draped over aether's back, fucking him with her strap so slow and sweet

that's my good boy, doing so well, honey

and aether just sighs into it like slipping into bed after a long days work. dopiest smile on his face as he strokes himself languidly

cumulus likes the noises he makes. the way they fit together. the way he'll take his time cumming and then turn around to spend as much time between her legs and playing with her tits as she wants

its hot and sweet and such good bonding time for them. not to talk, though, just to feel. embrace. kiss and make love until theyre satisfied and melting into the sheets

so beautiful, lus. could spend forever touching you

and well, she never gets tired of hearing that

[golden-rats]

Mountain and Cumulus at a ren faire... My brain is doing the thinking again. All the nature around them, soft folk music, sunshine in Cumulus hair, flowers adoring Mountains horns, pretty clothing, feeding each other snacks, getting compliments for their "fantasy costumes"....

As the sun danced through the branches of the forest, casting dappled shadows on the grass below, two ghouls wandered through the bustling crowd of the renaissance faire. Cumulus, her hair adorned with wildflowers, and Mountain, his horns camouflaged by a wreath of ivy. The soft strains of medieval music filled the air, weaving around them as they looked through the vibrant stalls and colorful tents. Laughter and chatter surrounded them, mingling with the scent of roasted meats and freshly baked bread.

With mischievous grins they sampled an array of delectable treats. Under the hanging branches of a towering oak tree they found a secluded spot a little away from the hustle and bustle of the fair. A patchwork blanket was spread out beneath them, adorned with intricate patterns. No one had to know they… Borrowed it from the abbey.

As they settled down, the earth ghoul playfully juggled an apple before offering it to Cumulus. Her giggle was carried in a soft breeze. They arranged all the delicious treats each of them gathered at the stalls. Ranging from sweet pastries, over still warm bread to more savory dishes. It's not every day one indulges in such a feast, they told themselves while feeding each other bits and pieces. Mountain let out a content sigh as his back rested against the oaks bark.

As the gentle melodies of a folk tune drifted through the air they couldn't resist the urge to dance. With a smile, Mountain extended his hand to the ghoulette, his eyes twinkling with excitement as she rose gracefully to her feet. Their movements were fluid and light, a seamless intertwining of two souls perfectly in sync. Cumulus’ dress swirled around her ankles as she moved swiftly, her laughter echoing through the clearing. Their hands clasped together, they spun and dipped, lost in the music and the magic of the moment. Jumping to the sound of flutes, circling each other as drums echoed in a rhythm.

Passersby stopped to admire their elaborate costumes, showering them with compliments on their "authentic" attire. With a wink and a grin, Mountain bowed deeply, his cloak swirling around him, while the air ghoulette curtsied gracefully, her eyes sparkling with amusement.

As they strolled hand in hand, basking in the warmth of the setting sun and the joy of each others company, they felt truly alive amidst the magical ambiance. And though they may have been ghouls in disguise, in that moment, they were simply two best friends lost in the enchantment of the world around them.