#Couldn't think about anything else so I had to do this meme

[miss0atae]

[luludeluluramblings]

tbh I’m more intrigued by the idea of college-age Reader getting pregnant while unmarried still living in the manor and NO ONE has any idea who the father is (maybe she does, but she’s withholding that for now or maybe he’s not in the picture?) and it’s the biggest freak out ever. that just seems so fucking wild and potentially hilarious to me. and nobody noticing she’s pregnant until she’s farther along? or them finding out randomly?? imagine:

damian: you look pregnant. what is wrong with you.

reader: i am pregnant though

the batfam: ????????!!!!!!!!!! and then she proposes that now that she’s old enough and starting a new chapter in her life raising a baby and all she should just move out! (cue everyone disliked that meme)

Neglected!Pregnant!Reader x Yandere!Bat Family

☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

Part Two

☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

A/N: Okay, I think I'm about to become a Pregnancy!Reader writer. Which, I'm not mad about. Kind think it would be fun, but I know the trope isn't for everyone. So, if it’s not your thing, I’m sorry.

A/N: Some of this is based off of things from my own pregnancies.

A/N: Oh, no. Frick, I wanna make this a series now. Check the bottom, cause I have a plot idea for this and I want opinions on it. I spiraled, this was supposed to be a quick blurb. I got carried away. Gonna build up to the yandere shenanigans because I’m turning into a writer with a million WIPs.

A/N: Tagging @skay-ali because I like their The Forgotten Daughter series.

Warnings: Fem!Reader, Very minor Yandere Themes (like barely there), minor NSFW, graphic descriptions of pregnancy and medical procedures, Vomiting.

☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

You don't really remember that night it happened. But, it only happened once and after you swore you'd never drink again. The hangover after that night had been one of the worst of your short life.

In fact, the sticky feeling between your legs and bitter taste on your tongue had also added to your decision to swear of these college parties. Luckily, you have enough of your memory to remember that you and your partner from that night had both been willing even when wasted. Even if you couldn't remember their name. Or, their face.

It takes you a while to notice. One missed cycle wasn't anything to freak out about, and it was exam season. The stress had probably caused the nausea. It wasn't until you were heading down to breakfast one morning and smelled the burnt eggs in the kitchen that Stephanie had burnt that you realized something might be wrong.

You, of course, ignore it. It was just a fluke. Burnt eggs weren't appetizing to anyone. But, then you nearly faint walking through the perfume section after looking to restock your favorite bottle of scent.

The doctor you finally went to another week later had asked about your cycle and the last time you had been intimate with someone. That's when the reality of things started to set in. You hadn't even thought to do an at home test to check. Your doctor was kind though, saying they could just do a quick urine sample and blood test just to make sure. It might be something else.

The next few minutes felt like ages. But, when the Doctor came back to tell you the positive results you panicked. Not as in panicked as in you broke down, but you threw up a mask. You're good at doing that. You must get it from your father.

When she asks you if this is good news or bad news you can't help, but blurt that it's good. Great even. Which causes her to beam at you. Before you know it, you're being handed a complementary diaper bag with formula and tiny bottles while being given the rundown on your possible due date and future appointments. You nodded you're head along with the information, sliding the paper's into the diaper bag as she hands them to you.

But, then she turns to you with delight and tells you that the Ultra Sound tech has an opening and you're just far along enough they can do your first ultrasound. It'll only be a thirty minute wait.

After nodding along once more, you go back into the waiting room. Holding your new bag with white knuckles and falling into deep thought.

This is happening. But, how? Are you even fit to be a parent? You've hardly ever been loved. How are you going to love someone else? How are you going to do this? What will the family think? What will your few friends think? You don't even remember who their father is. This is impossible. You're not ready. You'll never be ready. That churning feeling is in your stomach again and you feel that single piece of toast you had for breakfast about to come back up.

The thirty minutes fly by with those thoughts in your head. They still swirl in your head as your go back into the ultrasound room.

It's dark, but the tech had few soft lights on in the room. Its actually kind of... cozy.

What's not cozy it the tech telling you that she's going to stick a wand up your bits so you could see the baby. Your eyes screwing shut at the cold invasive feeling.

But, when you open them, she turns the screen for you to see. It's almost amazing how fast the image appears on the screen.

And, their moving. Actually moving. You end up laughing at the sight, causing the screen to flicker and the little blob to move. When the nurse plays the heart beat you can feel yours stuttering in your chest.

Watching them bounce in there with each laugh, it’s easy for the next words to spill out of your mouth.

“Oh, I’m gonna love you.”

☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

Every step after that feels remarkably less lonely. It’s not just you anymore. You have someone who you’re going to love.

You don’t bother telling the Family. Bruce would just lecture you on being reckless while the other’s would judge you for it.

Honestly, you don’t care if they did. This is your baby.

Funnily enough, for a house full of detectives and highly intelligent vigilantes no one actually notices. Not even Cassandra. It’s a bit insulting how much they don’t pay attention. But, your symptoms soon make it so you don’t care.

The waves of exhaustion, the way everything smells strong and certain things make you want to gag. Heartburn that burns your throat. The subtle cravings that make you cry when you can’t fulfill them. Thankfully you finished your exams because you were too tired to even move from your bed most mornings due to strange nightmares.

Eventually, someone does notice. And, it’s not anyone you would expect.

Of all things you cried over on the pantry floor, it had to be salt and vinegar chips. They hadn’t been what you wanted, but it was too late to go get french fries and a smoothie at this hour in Gotham. And, you stuffed them down your throat with angry tears.

It was Stephanie of all people to find you. You gave her a sharp glare when she seemed to grow wide eyed. Normally you avoid her gaze, but you were quite pissed about having chips in your mouth and not fries. As her eyes grew wider, your nose wrinkled in further annoyance at her.

Just as you’re about to tell her off, she speaks.

“Do you— um, want something else?”

It’s pitiful how fast your snarl turns into a pleading pout.

“Yes, please. I want fries. I want Jokerized fries so badly.” You practically blubber when she gives you a pointed nod towards the car garage.

It takes you a bit to get off the floor despite the fact that your bump is hardly noticeable, but Stephanie noticed the extremely subtle curve.

“How far?” She asks hesitantly, looking from the bump to your face.

You also hesitant for a moment, looking up at her with tears on your cheeks and a serious look in your eyes. “14 Weeks.”

Her eyebrows raise and a wiry pout appears on her face. “Damn. You’re smaller than I was at that time, so not fair.”

The slightly surprised that information gives you almost makes you pause. But, if you had you would’ve probably toppled back down to the pantry floor.

“Explain on the way?” You ask, still a bit nervous. The two of you had never been close since you moved into the manor less than a handful of years back.

“Sure.” She grins, leading the way.

As you both walk, she whispers. “Does Bruce know?”

“Don’t know. Don’t care.”

“Ah.” Stephanie managed to hide the winces from you.

When you two finally make into the car, you’re already feeling better about life. You’re about to have your fries, and possibly a shake too. You didn’t expect to have any company, but surprisingly it’s nice.

Stephanie drives, and get the fries to go. Munching on them as Stephanie drives you back to the manor. Her sharing her own pregnancy experience.

"Wait, so Tim dated you when you were pregnant with another dudes kid? Babe, forget being me being small, you got game."

"Damn right I do." She says smugly, stuffing her own fries in her mouth. "So, um, do you wanna talk about what happened with you?"

And, just like that your mood shifts.

"No."

"Oh- Oh! I'm sorr-" She starts up, and you can tell she's assuming the worst.

"Don't you start, Stephanie." You interrupt with a pointed glare. "I don't want to talk about it because it's none of y'all's business."

That makes her cough on her french fry. "Wait, wait, what do you mean? Don't you want help?"

"Nah, I got it." Comes your stubborn reply, glaring out the window as you dip your fry into the cheesecake milkshake.

"... You should tell Bruce." She suggest after a moment of awkward silence.

"What? So he can ignore his grandchild, too?" Your filter is none existent with your hormones all out of wack.

"He doesn't ignore you-"

"Oh, yes the fuck he does." Your firmly state. Growing a bit heated. "Y'all all figgin do."

Stephanie is about to roll her eyes, chalking your words to you just being unreasonable. But, then the thought starts to creep upon her with each passing building when she realizes this is the first time she's actually hung out with you. Ever.

"I'm sorry." She murmurs to you. The silence falling over you both as the cars continues back to the manor.

"... I'm only forgiving you because you bought my fries..."

"Really?! That's all I had to do?"

"What? I was desperate for this- Wait! Hang on. Stop the car. Stop the car-"

"What? Why?! Are you- OH! Fuck!"

You ended up regurgitating up all the fries you had just eaten. Right into your lap.

"Oooo, that's nasty." Stephanie says, cracking the windows.

"Is it bad that I still want to eat them?" You mumble to her, eyeing the remaining fries.

"Please, please, wait till we get back or I'm gonna hurl, too."

"Fine." Comes your reply. Your eyes drifting shut for a moment. "If you tell anyone I'm gonna tell Cassandra about your crush on her."

"How did you- Frick, you are more like Bruce then I realize." Her voice going from panic to begrudging realization.

"Now, that's offenseive."

"Oh, come on. You're kids gonna have some of Bruce's DNA too."

"Eww. Eww. Don't remind me."

The banter between you both coming back with ease.

When you make it back to the manor, parting ways for the night. You feel at ease. You may have made have finally made a new friend in all this and gained a pillar of support.

As you shower and finish off your fries, you can't help but think about the apartments you had been looking at. Wondering what Stephanie will thinking of your nursery ideas.

Down in the cave, Stephanie slowly walks down the steps. Realizing this might have just gotten complicated.

"You okay, Steph?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m okay.”

☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

A/N: Soooooo, what if, and hear me out, wee add some baby daddy drama to this?

A/N: Please note, I write a Reader that DID NOT grow up with the Bat Family, which means we could have some really really juicy drama here. But, we could just keep the options limited to just close friends of the Bat family.

A/N: What do y'all think? Baby Daddy drama? One of the Bat Boys the Daddy? One of the other vigilantes? Should I do a Baby Daddy poll? I just feel like this is an opportunity.

A/N: Also, Stephanie was a teen mom in some comics from my research. Which I think adds to this and gives her a better chance of bonding with Reader until shit goes down.

[xreader-writing]

"who's in your top three for hotness in f1?"

✦ Summary: Y/n interviews some fellow drivers to find out who they think are the hottest in F1

✦ Pairing: F1 grid X Driver!Reader

✦ Characters: George Russel, Lando Norris, Toto Wolff, Daniel Riccardo, Charles Leclerc, Carlos Sainz and Y/n

A/n: I want to publish this for dayslol. Sorry, English is not my first language.

I found these gifs here, but I couldn't give credit, I'm sorry 😭😭

"So George, who's in your top three for hotness in f1?"

"Just like that?" He says laughing to his friend who laughs along.

"Yes, let's answer that."

"Okay, hmm... I'll take first place, of course, second place I'll give it to you and... Lewis will take third place."

"At least I won second place." Y/n laughs and George agrees.

"I know some who will say your name for first place." He speaks with a mischievous smile.

"Who?" Y/n furrows her eyebrows and George rolls her eyes, smiling.

He approaches Y/n, which moves the microphone away from the body, George speaks in her ear, placing his hands in front of her face so others can't read his lips.

Y/n's eyes widen when she hears the big list her friend is making, this scene would generate memes for a long time.

"That's enough George!" Y/n says pushing the pilot who laughs at her reaction.

"Fact, Those are facts!" He says laughing and Y/n can't help but laugh along

"These are not facts, thank you for giving us a little bit of your time Mr Russel.

George smiles and waves to the camera.

"Okay, let's try to find more pilots" Y/n says walking a little and the Cameramen follow her.

"Look, it's Lando, let's go... Landoooo!" Lando is distracted talking but smiles when he sees who was calling.

"Hi kitten." He says approaching Y/n and gives a slight smile to the camera.

"please tell us, what is your top three beauty in f1?" Y/n puts the microphone in Lando's mouth who seems very surprised.

"Okay, I think... I think Carlos will take third, I'll put myself in second and... You can take first place." Lando says awkwardly.

"I'm surprised Carlos isn't first."

"No, he is to be first for Ferrari friends." Y/n can't help but laugh at this.

"Or Williams friend" They talk at the same time and laugh about it.

"Thanks for that Lando, see you later." Y/n says laughing a little and leaves in search of more pilots.

"Oh look at Toto guys, let's go!" Y/n says excitedly and runs to him, before anyone pulls him to do something.

"Oh my God, no..." Toto says jokingly when he sees Y/n approaching smiling.

"Yes, Toto, I have a question that your answer will totally change our lives today." Y/n says trying to stay serious.

"I highly doubt it."

"Well... who's in your top three for hotness in F1?" Toto looks at her in disbelief.

"No, you didn't just-"

"Yes, I did, come on we need answers."

"I refuse to answer that.

"Yes you don't need to answer, we know that Christian horner It's in first place." Toto looks at Y/n in complete disbelief.

"What the fuck-"

"Please, this is a family atmosphere sir." Toto passes his hand over his face trying not to visualize a murder for Y/n.

"Don't you have anything else to do?"

"You're right, I should be looking for younger pilots, bye Toto!" Y/n says, moving away, and Toto smiles.

"That girl is terrible"

"Is there anyone in particular you want to talk to?" Y/n asks looking at the Cameramen.

"Maybe-" He is interrupted before he can finish.

"s/nl/n!!" They look and see Daniel Ricciardo coming with his typical smile.

"Daniel Riccardooooo!" Y/n smiles and Daniel comes to hug the pilot, rocking them both from side to side.

"Are you the reporter today?" he says, letting go of her and messing up her hair that he had messed up during the hug.

"I'm the reporter today, and since you're here, you'll be my victim."

"Oh no!" he jokes and they both laugh.

"So Danny, who's in your top three for hotness in f1?" Daniel smiles and looks up at the sky thinking for a bit.

"You can have all three seats, Sweet baby." The people around listening scream at this and Y/n really didn't expect that response.

"You can't do this!" She says, pushing him lightly.

"Oh I already did that!" He continues smiling at her embarrassment.

"Please Danny give us another answer." She begs her friend who shakes his head.

"No, this is my final decision."

"Okay, okay, we'll accept this today, thanks for the embarrassment Danny." She jokes and he hugs her again and she starts to walk away with the Cameramen.

"Love you!" He says watching her walk away.

"Love you too!"

"Okay, let's continue... who were you going to talk about before?" Y/n said as remembered that him was interrupted by Daniel.

"Charles Leclerc."

"Oh yes, Charles Leclerc, let's go after him." Y/n said walking faster and more objectively this time.

"Have you seen that video of the boy calling Charles? We can try that." Y/n says laughing and the Cameramen smiles along. "Oh no need, there's the man." Y/n approaches Charles, and touches his shoulder to get his attention.

"Mr. McQueen, would you like to answer some of our questions?" Y/n puts the microphone right in Charles' mouth who pretends to bite it.

"Do you still call me that?" He says laughing and hugging her by the shoulders.

"Yes forever, now... can you tell us your top three for the most handsome in F1?" Charles thinks for a moment and smiles at the camera.

"Well-"

"Of course I'm in first place, then Y/n and last, you, right Charles?" Carlos says, joining the conversation and appearing on the other side, making Y/n stand between the two.

"Why do you think you're number one on my list?" Charles says raising his eyebrows.

"Because I'm number one in your heart." Y/n looks at the camera rolling her eyes.

"Would that be your list Carlos?" Y/n says bringing the microphone closer to Carlos.

"No, you're at the top of my list hermosa"

"Ass kisser" Chalés says with a fake cough.

"What's your list Charles?" Y/n says turning the microphone to Charles.

"Okay, I'm first, Y/n is second and I'm going to put Pierre third." Carlos' eyes widen.

"Fuck you Chales!"

"WE'RE IN A FAMILY ENVIRONMENT!"

"At least I know I'm number one on Lando's list." Y/n looks at the camera, her mouth clenched shut to keep from laughing.

"Absolutely Carlos, absolutely." She pats Carlos on the shoulder, who doesn't understand.

"What does that mean?" Carlos looks serious and Y/n smiles mischievously.

"Nothing Carlitos, nothing..."

"And your list Y/n?" Charles smiles.

"No, I'm just the reporter today."

"Let's go there, we want to know." Chales says trying to take the microphone from Y/n's hand.

"Stop it Charles!" Y/n says pulling the microphone back, and the two start a playful fight.

"Stop kids." Carlos says trying to take Y/n's hands away from Charles' hair.

This will get a lot of views

"well, we'll end it here, but maybe we'll do a part two with the other pilots, thanks for watching, bye." Y/n smiles and waves to the camera Along with Carlos and Charles.

"And... cut!"

"I love you Y/n."

"I love you too Charles."The two hug, and Carlos rolls his eyes.

"I don't get paid for this." Carlos sighs.

Bonus - Some comments that were published.

User1 "I wonder who George was talking about..."

User2 "I wish I had what she and Charles have...

User3 "Someone to pull your hair?"

User4 "I think Lando likes her"

[candychasse]

Yandere Sim Male Rivals dealing with the, 'me, my s/o, and their 500 dollar life sized mareep plush' meme being their reality.

Characters: Osano, Amao, Kizano, Oko, Aso, Osoro, Megamo.

Contains: g/n reader, not proofread, fluff. At least five of the guys having beef with a plushie.

Osano.

"What the hell is that."

^ exact words he said when you came home with the adorable pokemon plush.

Despite his harsh words he does think the sheep is cute.

He will complain, like a lot.

"Move the damn sheep." He says loudly as he tries to get comfy in bed. You groaned slightly and moved the sheep to the other side of you. "Thank-" he stops himself as you turn your back to him! "Y/n." He calls out. You turn again to face him, bringing the Mareep to face him too. "Yes?" You ask, a grin slowly growing. "...whatever." He says turning his back to you, 'two can play that game' he thinks.

Two actually cannot play that game. In the morning you found him turned facing you, holding the Mareep tight. You snicker to yourself as you take a photo of him.

Amao.

He's not particularly the biggest fan of mareep, however, he does understand how much the plush means to you.

I'd imagine he'd try to convince you to move mareep somewhere else like, "Why don't we move Mareep to the couch so they can watch TV?"

^when that obviously didn't work. He accepted his fate.

You had just wrapped up closing the bakery for the day and headed upstairs in order to destress and enjoy the rest of your evening. You headed into your room to pick out pajamas, when you saw it. Amao carefully making the bed and placing Mareep front and center on the freshly made bed. "There!" He said with a smile. Your heart melted and you practically tackled him in a bear hug for his kindness toward Mareep.

Kizano.

He actually hates the sheep. No secret love of it or anything.

He thinks mareep is ugly and takes up too much space in bed.

It's the dead of night, you're sleeping peacefully in bed curled up with mareep. Kizano had just got home from a late night film shoot. He did his skincare routine and prepared for bed, but as he gets into bed he feels an unfamiliar lump in the bed. He tries not to make much noise as he pulls back the blanket and investigates the lump....

It's an ugly sheep?

He blinks in confusion for a few moments then simply casts the sheep aside to the ground, adjusting his body to replace the sheep's former place in your arms.

In the morning he pretends not to know of the plushie when you point out it must've fallen in the middle of the night.

"What plushie, my love?"

Bs.

Oko.

I think he'd just get depressed.

Like, I think he'd get self conscious. He really does like snuggling with you late at night, it's even better than summoning demons to him! But now all you do is snuggle Mareep.

Is he not good enough?

You only find out about his feelings towards Mareep during a late night while your a cleaning a stain off her.

"Hey.. Why don't we leave Mareep somewhere else, because she's dirty..?" Oko asks cautiously. You giggle slightly at the thought. "Nah! I'm sure I can clean her up enough!" You replied, dead set on removing the stain. "...great..." He whispers. "What was that?" You question. "I mean great! It'd be a shame if you couldn't cuddle them." He elaborates, but you know Oko, and you know when he's lying, so you decide to toy with him a little. "Well, if I couldn't get the stain off I'd just cuddle with you probably." You say 'off handedly'. "..oh so now you'd want to cuddle with me...." He mutters under his breath. You gasp finally putting the pieces together. "You're jealous of Mareep!" You exclaim loudly. His face turns flush from embarrassment, "..no." He replies turning his face away from you. A common tell of him hiding his feelings. "Well, if you are jealous of Mareep, which I know you're not, I would want you to know that I only got Mareep because I got lonely those nights you would run off to summon demons..." You confess, awkwardly looking down. "Oh, well, uhm, I'm not going out tonight.." He says and your eyes sparkle a little. "Get over here!" You say with a small smile, pushing Mareep to the side and holding Oko closely.

Aso.

LOVES THE DANG MAREEP.

He does however unintentionally abuses the Mareep. Think accidentally sitting on it, using it as a table, etc.

he says sorry to the Mareep everytime.

Throws it in the air really high that it hits the ceiling, BUT he does catch it!

It was a rare occasion where Mareep was chilling on the end of the bed while you and Aso cuddled. Right as the familiar embrace of sleep enveloped you both, a familiar thud was heard. "Aso, Aso, you kicked Mareep off the bed." You said while rubbing his shoulder to try and awaken him. He groaned "huh? Oh shoot! My bad..." He whispered, getting out of the warm bed and picking Mareep up from the floor. You giggled slight at the sight of him placing it carefully onto the bed and returning to your side.

Osoro.

Intentional Mareep abuse. Have you seen those tik toks of squishmallow girls' boyfriends beating up their squishmallows instead of just like, hugging it? Yeah that's Osoro.

HE DOESN'T HATE MAREEP THOUGH! Shockingly (heh get it) he likes the plushie.

"Osaro you're so mean! Mareep didn't do nothin' to you!" You exclaim with a gasp as he absentmindedly punches the mareep. "He's an inanimate object Y/n, he can't feel pain." Osaro replies while punching the Mareep again.

But like Kizana he is not above tossing it a side in order to cuddle with you.

Unlike Kizana he wouldn't put it on the floor but just to the side opposite of the one you're laying on.

Osaro tossed and turned in the middle of the night, to say he had a rough dream would be the least to say. He tries to move closer to you but is blocked by the giant Mareep. Grunting he grabs the Mareep and tosses it to where he was formerly laying. He wraps his arms around your waist and sighs. Now that he's in your arms his dreams seem nicer, even if that does sound silly.

Megamo.

He's a busy guy, being the heir to a mega corp, having his own passions, it's a lot on his plate. So most days he come home by the time you're already asleep.

I doubt he noticed you owned a life sized Mareep until one day...

Once again, we begin our story in the dead of night, you're tucked in, nice and warm. Meanwhile Megamo had just came in from the frigid rainstorm outside. He wasn't all too wet so he just changed clothes and headed to bed. Little did he know, the lump he was cuddling was not you.

In the morning, Megamo was face to face with a sheep's face instead of yours. To say he was a little upset would be an understatement.

He tries bribery, offering you any normal sized plushie you want.

He tries threatening saying that since you're cuddling Mareep you can't cuddle with him.

He even thinks about just throwing it out. But he knows how much it means to you. So he just silently moves it to the couch everyday, and every evening it's back on *his spot* on the bed.

He despises that damn sheep.

[galactic-rhea]

WDYM Anakin is Luke and Leia's dad

I dunno if this post will reach the Star Wars fandom but I hope it does because I'm sure you all will get a good laugh at me.

As of recent I have developed a good hiperfixation for Star Wars, the thing is I knew nothing. NOTHING about Star Wars besides the fact it had aliens and...a war...in space? And funny swords. And main character is Luke or something, I spent over 20 years ignoring anything about Star Wars and somehow missing most references out there.

And recently, literally less than a month ago I saw a gif and said to my partner "oh this guy this guy looks cool, this gif looks nice" and he said "Oh well, he's a good character." And it all developed into me watching Clone Wars, the animated series you know and...and I was kinda blown away, on my opinion the show IS GREAT. And I love every character and their interactions, I love how much they focus on side characters, and they all seem very well written. I got hiperfixated really fast and saw Anakin and I was like "Omg, babygirl. He's a blorbo now."

And because of the show, this was super unexpected, but somehow I also got, really got, into the ship with Padmé because omg, cool woman. Literal happy squeaky noises of someone who was in a bad state and needed some good ol' distraction and comfort.

Now, like I said I knew nothing about Star Wars as a whole. And I still haven't watched the movies, besides the ocassional gif?

So imagine my shock, my surprise, my...bewilderment when I realized.

"Wait a minute, LUKE IS ANAKIN'S SON?! HOLY-"

Ladies, gentleman, and others, I think I came very late to this party and I don't even know how it took me so long.

Not only that, but because of this sudden love for the series, I went to my friends circle like "BESTIE, GUESS WHAT, I HAVE A NEW BLROBO AND A NEW FAV SHIP AND EEEP"

And my friends are like "omg that's amazing, what is it?"

I tell them, and of course they all know these characters and they all react like they know this very bad secret fact and I got told several times already "Please, don't watch the episodes 2 and 3 alone, it will hurt."

I feel like blissfully walking among rainbows and blue skies while everyone else know that my future is doomed. Somehow.

(Uncomfortable silence)

Not only that, but then I spent a whole deal of time thinking "Where the heck I have seen these guys" cus there was some fmailiarity I couldn't just point out and then one day I woke up, brushed my teeth and of all sudden I realized and it was such a shock.

Do you know how SURREAL is to get very into a character, and into a ship, and then realize they're the same from that super widespread meme that has been around for who knows how much time?

I swear I thought that meme was from some old medieval fantasy movies or something.

But alas, Star Wars now is EVERYWHERE. People do references to Star Wars ALL THE TIME and it's just now I'm catching them.

I got spoilers. From a meme. In a youtube review that had nothing to do with Star Wars hah. Everything is a spoiler, the world is an apparent spoiler. Now I'm here, trying to avoid spoilers from something everyone seems to know, even my family knows. It's so surreal and I wouldn't have it any other way 😂

Anyways, if you read until here, know that a wild ride still waits me, cuz I'm only starting Season 3 of Clone Wars and I don't plan to watch the movies until I finish the series.

And yes, I made this blog just to ramble freely about SW and draw stuff because it sparked my inspiration after a long art block.

Have this doodle I drew after watching the two first episodes, my offering for you reaching this far.

Note: Wouldn't Anakin and Padmé's ship name be Animé? Cuz that's hilarious.

[mapiforpresident]

Claudia Pina Angst pls! (Or literally anything Claudia Pina! ❤️🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽

How Could You Do This Part 1

Claudia Pina x reader

warnings: angst

Summary: You find out your girlfriend is cheating on you

Not proof read so let me know if you see any mistakes.

~~~

You were scrolling through TikTok on your girlfriend's phone, patiently waiting for her to finish her Cupra interview. Since your phone had died, Claudia had kindly lent you hers to stave off boredom during the wait.

Halfway through watching a hilarious dog video, a text from Patri popped up, catching your attention before you could swipe it away. It read, "just tell her before she finds out." Confusion washed over you as you tried to decipher whom or what Patri was referring to. Another text appeared, stating, "Y/n will be so mad once she finds out. Hopefully she doesn't break up with you. At the very least, you might be sleeping on your new couch for a week."

What could Patri possibly be talking about? It seemed clear that Claudia was keeping something from you, something she knew she shouldn't. Your mind immediately jumped to the conclusion that Claudia was cheating on you. You and your girlfriend had always prided yourselves on honesty, promising never to keep secrets from each other. Thus, you couldn't fathom what else she could be hiding.

Though hesitant, you couldn't resist the urge to snoop. Clicking on Patri's message, you hoped to uncover the mystery. Initially, the conversation consisted of random memes and funny videos they'd exchanged, but you stumbled upon a series of texts from two days ago that piqued your interest.

Patri: Did you meet up with the girl today?

Pina: Yeah, she was awesome. I can't wait to see her again.

Patri: That's great! I'm glad you found someone better.

Pina: Yeah, me too. Y/n is going to murder me when she finds out though. I need to tell her soon.

Patri: Take her to a nice dinner and then try to break the news.

Pina: I might. I keep trying, but every time I go to mention it, I chicken out. I don't want her to be upset.

Recalling the fancy dinner Claudia had taken you out to the previous night, her nervous demeanor suddenly made sense. You had assumed it was related to her upcoming interview, as she never enjoyed media engagements. It was unfathomable to think that she had started seeing someone else, especially with Patri's encouragement. A whirlwind of thoughts flooded your mind. Your girlfriend of over three years was cheating on you. Feeling overwhelmed, you dropped the phone onto the chair and rushed out of the room. Claudia remained engrossed in her interview, oblivious to your sudden departure.

You raced down the training ground hallway until you found a bathroom, locking yourself in the first stall, overcome by sobs. How could Claudia betray your trust like this? You believed you had the perfect relationship, and just that morning, she had seemed so deeply in love with you. She had made you breakfast and cuddled with you on the couch until the last possible moment before you had to leave. She had always been affectionate, constantly holding and kissing you. You were at a loss, unable to comprehend what you had done wrong.

"Y/n, is that you in there? What's wrong? What happened? Do you want me to get Claudia?" It was Alexia's voice. You hadn't heard her enter the bathroom.

"No, no, don't get Claudia," you called out desperately.

"Why? What happened? Did she do something? Let me in." Alexia was very confused at this point because whenever you were sad or hurt or upset, you immediately asked for Claudia, and Claudia always immediately came to your side no matter what she was doing.

You silently unlocked the door as Alexia squatted down in front of you. When she saw your tear-stained face but no visible injury, she decided to try and help you up, knowing you were physically fine. "Oh, bebita, what happened?"

Alexia now had you standing and hugged you tightly as she tried to get you to calm down enough to explain what had made you so upset.

"Clau... Clau..."

"It's okay, it will be okay. Take some deep breaths for me." You did as Alexia told you, trying to take a few deep breaths as your sobs turned into sniffles.

"Clau... she cheated... she told Patri... that she... found a better girl... she said she met up with her," you choked out as Alexia started to look furious. She loved Claudia, but if this was true, then she wouldn't hesitate to confront her.

"Did she tell you this? Did Patri?"

"No... I saw their text messages... I was just TikToking while she had her interview."

"God, I am going to kill them both. You are coming to stay at my place tonight. I will text Olga to make up the spare room. I am going to have a talk with Claudia tomorrow and then Patri. I will bring Mapi too." Alexia was basically talking to herself at this point as she led you to the locker room to quickly grab her things.

Just as she was about to lead you towards the door to leave, Claudia burst through.

"There you are, amor, what happened? I couldn't find you anywhere. Are you ready..."

"Get out," Alexia said in her loud, stern voice.

"What... what happened? Is y/n okay..."

"Get out now," Alexia said again. "Don't ever come near y/n again, I swear, Claudia."

Neither you nor Claudia had ever seen your captain look so angry and so disappointed. Claudia was stunned; she had no idea how to react. She turned and ran out the door, not knowing where she was going. What did she do wrong? She didn't think she had done anything wrong, but you had clearly been crying, and Alexia looked furious, so she must have done something.

~~~

Claudia ran out onto the pitch and grabbed a bag of balls laying off to the side. Everyone had already left, but she didn't want to leave until she figured out what she did wrong.

She took penalty after penalty until her leg could barely kick the ball into the net. She finally decided to go to her best friend for help, maybe Patri could help her figure out what she had done wrong.

It was well past the sun going down as she pulled into the parking lot of Patri's apartment complex. Patri was shocked at hearing the knock and opening the door to reveal the most sad she thinks she had ever seen Claudia.

"Hey Claudia, what happened, aren't you supposed to be at the movies with y/n tonight. She's been waiting for it to come out for months." Patri said as she moved to let Claudia into her apartment, but before Claudia could fully enter she broke down.

"I messed up, I don't know what I did. We were fine this morning, but after I got done with my interview she was gone and... and... and... then I went to go find her and she was crying in Alexia's arms. Alexia told me to get out. I have never seen her that angry before and y/n wouldn't even look at me. I don't know what I did wrong. I don't know what to do. Y/n and Alexia won't answer my calls or texts and..." Claudia ranted so fast that Patri could barely keep up.

"Hey, hey, hey slow down, everything will be ok. You and y/n love each other ok. recount your steps, there is nothing that you could have done to upset her?" Patri asked as they sat down on the couch, Claudia with her head in her hands.

~~~

Thirty minutes later Claudia stood nervously outside of Alexia's door with flowers and your favorite chocolate. She wanted to come talk to you knowing that you were most likely here. She wanted to figure out what she did wrong and how she could make it up to you.

Alexia opened the door thinking it was the food she ordered for takeout. "Hello thank ... oh Claudia." Alexia's voice immediately changed from nice and friendly to annoyance and verging on rude.

"Please leave you are not welcome her. Y/n does not want to hear from you or see you again outside of practice."

"But... but what did I do. I didn't do anything wrong. I love her please Alexia just let me talk to her," Claudia begging while trying to remain calm and not let her tears fall in front of her captain.

"Go. Now. Before I call the cops." Alexia slammed the door in the face of the girl she once thought of as a little sister. Claudia didn't know what to do so she just called Patri as she got back in her car.

"I lost her. I lost her," Pina says as she sobs on the phone.

[calisources]

𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐌𝐈𝐄𝐒 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐒 𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐐𝐔𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒.

All sentences on this memes are taken from different sources of literature, television and media about enemies to lovers trope and enemies and lovers trope with some angst thrown into the mix. Change pronouns, names and locations as you see fit.

Does it hurt? Loving someone who can’t love you back?

Break his crown, break his throne, rip his monarchy apart.

What are we doing?

You are capable of making my blood boil like no one else, and yet I feel a magnetic pull I cannot explain.

It’s not natural for someone to be as stupid as he is tall, and yet there you stand

Like whether you should kiss me or punch me.

Most of all, I hate you because I think of you. Often. It’s disgusting, and I can’t stop.

You make me feel things that shouldn’t exist. 

Whatever this is, we should stop. I have been. . .compromised.

There’s a fine line between love and hate, and maybe we crossed it a long time ago.

I never thought I could detest someone so much, until the day I realized I was falling in love with you.

We may fight like enemies, but deep down, we both know that our hearts beat for each other.

You infuriate me, challenge me, drive me crazy, but damn it, at the end of the day, I can’t resist you.

It’s that tension that makes this so irresistible.

You’re like an addiction I can’t break free from, even if I wanted to.

You’re the thorn in my side, the fire in my veins, and I can’t help but crave your presence in my life.

Loving you feels like a dangerous game.

You infuriate me, yet you’re the only one who truly understands me.

You scare me to my core.

There’s no denying the fire that burns between us.

If any two men desire the same thing, which nevertheless they cannot both enjoy, they become enemies.

I thought we had agreed not to lie to each other.

Tell me you don’t feel this between us. Look at me and don’t look away while saying it.

You claim me your enemy and yet, let me crawl into your bed every night.

You are the bane of my existence, and the object of all my desires.

Do you even know all the ways a lady can be seduced? The things I could teach you.

I did not asked for this. To be plagued by these feelings.

I tried to deny it for so long, but I don’t want to anymore.

Follow me around. Look at me as if you find me fascinating. Touch me, and say nice things to me. And then, you pull away as if you did nothing at all.

There’s no need for these games.

Well, you know that old saying, “Keep your friends close and make out with your enemies.

You read me wrong.  I wasn't trying to lead you on.

Is that all I am to you? A resource to be used in your scheme?

Stolas, don't act like what we have is anything more than you wanting me to fuck you, okay? You make that really clear all the time. But I just- I can't do it tonight, okay?

 You'll lay a man out for implying I'm a whore, but you keep calling me one to my face.

So, the only man that can have you is one who's already tried to kill you. That's logic.

It's like a little death. Several, in fact.

Oh Max, if you really hated Kyle you couldn't have slept with him.

So go on... kiss me... kill me... Do something.

I've often wondered what this moment would be like. Me... you tied up. 

Once this is over, we should really have angry sex.

Hate and love are not so very different things. Both are focused upon another. Both are intense. Both are passionate.

It just means you'd rather be with someone you hate... than be with me.

She's difficult and irritating, and she tries to hit me all the time.

We have a deal, what are you so afraid of?

Only I can hurt you this way. Only I can kiss you like this. 

You dragged me down and now I can’t quit you. 

This is the last time we do this.

Last night was also the last time. And yet, you keep coming back.

Better my mouth than my knife, right?

[ofswordsandpens]

Finale Thoughts

The show stuck the ending far better than I thought it would and when compared to the preceding episodes it knocks it out of the park. That being said, I think because the bar was so low going in, that it makes this episode feel spectacular when really every episode should have done this well, at minimum.

Solo Lessons and Ares Battle

I'm so happy they included the one-on-one training sessions with Luke since its so essential to foreshadowing. I also liked the setting in the woods but why was it like autumn/fall in the flashback lol? However, I think that did unintentionally add a dreamlike quality to the scene which I did really like so whatever I'm here for it.

That being said I do wish these scenes were in episode 2/3 alongside the other chb stuff instead of being a flashback in the finale because it makes it just so on the nose that Luke's the traitor. However, the shot panning from Luke's extended sword to Percy's on the beach ate I can't lie.

Honestly it may have been interesting if they had established some of the solo lessons early on in episode 3 and then done periodic flashbacks to expand on them throughout the series. That way, its not so obvious that Luke's the traitor in the final hour and we also get cool transition shots and establishing that Percy is thinking about what he's learned from his lessons with Luke.

#Relieved that the Ares and Percy fight was not a single sword strike and then cut to black. Glad we had some action. Still think we should've pushed the limits much harder tho.

Oh but Percy's wave did go hard. They actually made the wave much bigger than what happened in the book and now I'm just sitting here wondering why we couldn't see some more of this instead of 10,000 cut to black scenes every time Percy uses his powers.

I wish we had gotten this Ares's reaction from the book when he lost: "The roar that followed made Hades’s earthquake look like a minor event. The very sea was blasted back from Ares, leaving a wet circle of sand fifty feet wide." Show Ares's reaction seemed so anticlimactic in comparison.

And no curse???? huh??

I know Ares was like "we're enemies 4 life now" but the curse and dialogue from the book goes so unbelievably hard: “You have made an enemy, godling. You have sealed your fate. Every time you raise your blade in battle, every time you hope for success, you will feel my curse. Beware, Perseus Jackson. Beware.”

Why couldn't show Ares say that??

Olympus, Zeus, & Poseidon

[Insert aw, she's ugly John Mulaney Meme]

sorry Olympus could've should've been prettier.

Like Olympus in the book felt a lot more wondrous and lush and colorful. But in the show it seemed so dull. Idk if its cause the "war's happening" or whatever it was just bland. a wash of dull-looking cgi and then an instant cut to the Big Palace.

Lance Reddick's Zeus was amazing tho. He had that godly presence I've been waiting for.

And Toby Stephens's Poseidon? oh I loved it.

I especially loved their conversation in greek.

I still wish however they would have done effects on the gods' eyes. Like glowing with energy or something when they get emotional. I felt like I was waiting to see electricity burst from Zeus when he was yelling at Percy.

And so it turns out that the reason why they changed it to Percy missing the deadline in the show was to create a situation in which Poseidon surrenders a war for his son.

And listen, if this scene existed in a vacuum I'd be so here for it. I guess a part of me can't fathom the solstice being anything other than a hard deadline. I enjoy the scene without context, within context I have mixed feelings about it.

But the "do you dream?" convo between Percy and Poseidon. Oh my god no notes. I loved it.

Some more book dialogue that I wish made it: “You did well, Perseus. Do not misunderstand me. Whatever else you do, know that you are mine. You are a true son of the Sea God.”

Luke's Betrayal

Okay here's where we get some high highs and low lows.

Some things I sincerely liked:

The setting. Fireworks going off in the background. The lantern illuminating the side of Luke's face with the scar. So visually nice.

Luke actively trying to recruit Percy! I've always joked that if Luke was just a little smarter he would have tried to persuade Percy to join his side rather than immediately kill him. And I do like that the show went this direction.

While I do mourn the loss of the scorpion them battling via swords is a great subversion of the sword mentor/mentee dynamic they share. It makes the scene tense and fast pace.

And its all of the above that makes me wonder why we didn't have more of this throughout the show: talking while battling, visually appealing and dynamic settings, unique visuals, etc.

I love how triggered Luke was at Percy's mention of meeting Hermes. I still hate how much Hermes introduction bogged down the show but damn if it didn't lead to one singular funny moment.

Percy getting a hit in on Luke and then immediately apologizing

"I didn't think you'd give the shoes to Grover." Oh that was cold.

Walker and Charlie deserve their flowers and more they were fantastic and carried.

Now things I DIDN'T like:

I don't like how Percy pieced it together with the information he did have... which honestly isn't a lot in the show? If he was going to figure out that Luke was the traitor I would've have had Luke show more of his bitterness like he did in the book. Like the fact the show never even mentioned Luke's failed his quest loses the entire element of Percy succeeding an "impossible" quest and being celebrated while Luke only got a scar and a chip on his shoulder from his failed one.

Luke's scar shoulda been worse idc.

Percy should have been mortally wounded. That's where we run into an issue with there being no scorpion because yeah, a fatal sword injury probably would've been a bit much to depict. I also 10000% think that Luke is enough of a baby to get his daddy issues triggered and then try to off Percy for it even if his original intention was to recruit him.

Also the fact that you see Luke raise his sword for a damning blow and then the very next day you have Percy like "I don't think Luke was trying to kill me." and Chiron agreeing? asdlkfjsdlkf WRONG.

Also, sorry, I don't like that Annabeth was there.

But if you're gonna have Annabeth there, her reaction to Luke betraying her and trying to hurt Percy should've been way more severe than a solemn "I heard everything."

She shoulda been crying, questioning, yelling even if she had suspected him. It's one thing to suspect it, it's another to see the person you consider your family to actually prove it true.

(And this isn't on Leah! It's 100% on the directors cause what was the thought process here? Her brother figure betrays her and she's like :/)

And sure, in the book Annabeth isn't actually all that surprised by Luke's betrayal when Percy tells her about it... but we also never got to see her initial reaction to it. Percy was out for 2 days.

Just, if book Annabeth had been there, she would've been so emotional and that's okay!! let Leah show off her chops!

Sally

I mourn book Sally. I mourn her arc. I mourn the power of Sally unapologetically petrifying Gabe with Medusa's head.

One of the most iconic storylines from the book and it was sanitized in the show to the point that it lost all sense and meaning.

Honestly one of the biggest disappointments of the show for me.

Other

I love the fact that a flower is the searcher's license for satyrs its just so silly and sweet.

I love Annabeth sincerely hugging Percy but also using it for strategizing purposes it feels very on point for her.

Also her braids at the end!! so sweet!

I am very very bitter that Percy didn't see the fates. This + the changes made to Sally's characterization and arc... the show truly doesn't get it.

[irisintheafterglow]

(approaching you like the homeless ant meme) enemy frat!suguru pt 3?

LMAOO of course anon my friend if you ask i will provide <3 hope you like it since i've missed writing him :)) please welcome back enemy frat!suguru !!!

cw: down BAD suguru, mentions of sex/hookup culture, swearing, implied fem!reader but they/them pronouns used <3

there must have been something in the air of that garden, since his chest was constricting him more than the droves of sorority girls and frat boys present for the joint philanthropy event.

"holy fuck," he breathes, or at least tries to. his pulse was racing but his legs were frozen in place, all of his attention going toward trying to breathe properly. he swallows thickly and it doesn't help, and his hands feel like they're slowly starting to drip with sweat. all because you had to appear in the doorway.

"aw, is that them? they look beautiful," satoru comments. suguru can only manage a weak mhmm before he turns away, blinking rapidly and exhaling so deeply it sounds like a dying animal. "shit, man. you good?" suguru throws his roommate a shaky thumbs-up, leaning the other hand on the wall and barely able to keep himself upright.

"i don't know what the hell is happening to me," he manages to choke out. "my heart feels like it's about to rip itself from my chest." with a wild-eyed expression, he glances at satoru only to find his best friend smirking, amusement crinkling the corners of his eyes. "what the fuck do you look like that for?"

"pull yourself together, suguru. if i had known you would be this affected seeing the love of your life, i would have brought my camera," satoru remarks all too casually, shooting nearby spectators a casual smile. suguru makes a noise of suffering from his throat and satoru thinks he's trying to say 'fuck you.'

"they're not the love of my life," suguru says after several seconds of catching his breath. "they're a fling. a good time."

"have you asked them for sex?" he turns to satoru like he'd just suggested setting your sorority house on fire.

"what the hell? of course not."

"it's not a fling, then."

"how would you know?"

"your flings are only physical, but this is something more than that. plus, you wouldn't be this emotional if they were anything otherwise," satoru points out, and suguru is too flustered to admit that he's right.

"i'm not being emotional," he hisses, pulling the band from his hair and turning it into a neater half-bun. "i just think they're a good time without the sex."

"and i think you're lying to yourself," satoru concludes, giving his delusional friend a pat on the back before disappearing into the crowd. before suguru has the chance to chase him down, you're standing in front of him with two cups of punch in your hands.

"what'd satoru say to make you so distraught?" you ask with a smile, handing him one of the cups. he takes an indulgent sip to avoid answering you immediately, the silence allowing him to slow his thoughts. your sisters, for the time being, were nowhere to be found, so he had at most five minutes of conversation before they whisked you away.

"don't remember, probably somethin' stupid," he lies. you consider him curiously and he prays that he doesn't look like a mess; if you notice something off about him, you thankfully don't comment on it. "you look nice."

"just nice?"

"what else do you want me to say?"

"that we can get the hell out of here whenever i want to leave." he chuckles, gently guiding you out of the walkway and into a quieter corner of the courtyard. your voice softens when other students are well out of earshot, saying, "your face is flushed. what's wrong?"

"it's nothing. don't worry about it," he reassures you, mustering as much courage as he can to not look like an idiot.

"i am gonna worry about it if you don't tell me," you murmur, stepping closer in the darkness. he prays you couldn't hear him gulp from the intoxicating smell of your perfume drawing him in, in, in. "i worry about you more than i'd like to admit."

"tell me more about how much you think about me, sweetheart," he says in a low tone and you scoff, unable to stop the unconscious desire to be as close to suguru as humanly possible.

to the untrained eye, everything about the situation was innocent, an intimate conversation between friends at most. but, if they looked closer, they would see suguru's eyes unable to decide whether to look at your eyes or your lips, or even further down as they rake across your dress. they would see your fingers brush away loose strands of hair and carefully tuck them behind his ear, your fingertips lingering on his skin in a way that makes him feel like he's been set on fire.

in the unlit corner of the school's philanthropic event, suguru realized that satoru was right. everything about you changed him, his mind, and how he viewed the future. all he wanted was to be yours until time stopped moving and space stopped expanding; even then, he knew he would find you in any other lifetime. his only worry was whether you could fathom how eager he was to lose himself in you.

his mind goes blank.

and he leans forward to press his lips against yours.

you inhale sharply, immediately melting into him as his hands find your waist and your arms slide around his neck. he kisses you fervently like the tension in his body finally snapped and his composure went flying out of a window. you taste like minty gum and strawberry lip gloss and all he can think about is giving you more, more, more until you're sick of how much he adores you.

"suguru-" you start when you break away to breathe, looking at him like he was the moon incarnate.

"i can't breathe when i'm not with you," he confesses before you can continue, his voice barely a whisper. he waits for you to protest, to pull away and leave him, but you pull him closer and that's all the permission he needs. "i thought this would be some secret fling where the thrill only comes from the riskiness, but i am totally and deeply in love with you. it's kind of ruining my reputation as the frat house bad boy."

"what do you mean, your reputation? who have you told about me?"

"basically everyone," he answers sheepishly and you laugh, hiding your face in his shoulder. "yeah, sorry. everyone in the boys' house knows about us."

"you couldn't keep your mouth shut about me for one more month?"

"we made that agreement to tell our houses when i was still only one foot in," he argues. "but you kinda pushed me into the love-pool, so..."

"i did no such thing," you counter lightheartedly, kissing the corner of his mouth. "it's your fault for falling head over heels for me."

"i don't think it's just head over heels. i think i'm rolling down a hill, so it's like head over heels over head over heels over-"

"okay, okay," you cut in. "i get it, lover boy. now, shut up and kiss me again before my sisters find us and apprehend you."

"i'll get satoru to be our lawyer. we already have a plan ready-"

"suguru geto," you command.

"fine, fine," he grins before leaning down and kissing you until you're both dizzy.

if you enjoy my writing and would like to support me, you can buy me a coffee on my ko-fi! you can also check out my full masterlist here :)

[loveswrites]

Do you know when you’re going to post your next Poly Volturi? (Absolutely no rush btw take your time and always focus on you and your health first🫶) I was just wondering cause i miss you 🫶

(i don’t have any intention of sounding rude or anything im just wondering and i definitely dont wanna rush you and i ofc want you to take your time and ofc it’s important to focus on yourself first ALWAYS🫶🫶)

Nightmare Poly Volturi x reader

Time it took me: 5 hours

Word count: 2023

To anon: Hello lovely! I'm sorry for the wait it's been like a month since my last post but I've come to give you a little gift! Hope you like it! Thank you so much for your reassurance, You didn't sound rude at all I understand I was gone a LONG time. I'm surprised I even wrote this today my mind was so foggy I haven't really had a good day so I thought I'd put a smile on someone else's!

Love <3

p.s I also tried to find that spongebob meme in a gif but I couldn't find it for some reason lmk if you get it when you read it!

Turning a sharp corner your hip grazed against the cold cobblestone walls of the castle. Causing you to suck in a strong gasp of air. Rubbing your hand against the throbbing pain you felt something wet. Twisting your face up in confusion you couldn't tell what it was. There was a storm and the castle was as dark as it's ever been. The candles Cauis ordered to be lit every set of the sun for you weren't lit like they normally are. If one candle blew out, rather you were there or not he would have someone's head not long after.

"You smell delicious." You heard from no other than the exact one you were thinking about. Caius.

Still a little confused, your eyes widened. Blood. You were bleeding and Cauis was chasing you.

Resuming your slow steps turned into a fast pace run. Well as fast as you could. Your eyes burned with tears as you could hear Caius' steps quicken. Why was he doing this, you thought. Doesn't he love you? 

"Are you frightened little human?" Cauis hissed out with so much venom you could taste it. 

"Please stop-" You were cut off with a scream crawling out of your throat as a strong sound of thunder and lightning struck.

"Your fear reeks a phenomenal scent. I can't wait to taste you." He sneered out letting out a chilling chuckle. 

You couldn't stop the tear that ran down your cheek with his statement. All you could feel was your heart pounding in your chest, So much you thought it would run into overdrive and stop. With the halls darken you ran with what little memory you could collect right now.  Your brain was foggy. Your heart was hurt. And your face was stained with tears of fear. You never thought that you would die like this. The more you ran the more you realized that this was a loop. You had been running around in a circle this whole time and Cauis was still chasing you. 

"Help Me! Jane! Alec! Please don't do this Caius! You're scaring me!" You screamed out looking back for the first time since you started running.

 He was right there. 

Pricing red eyes stared back at you menacingly.

The only sound you could get out of your mouth was a gasp. He grabbed you by your arms in a tight unbreakable grip. So tight you thought your bones would snap. You never did take your vitamins as a kid you thought. Before you could say another word he bared his fangs and snapped down on your neck. You let out a strong scream. It was so loud it echoed and bounced off the walls. You could feel your own blood wetting your skin rolling down your once warm body. As much as you struggled you couldn't move. As much as you screamed you could no longer make sound. All you felt was your life being drained from your body. Mustering all of your strength you screamed the loudest you could with little life you had left. 

"Mio caro!? Wake up è solo un sogno!" A voice sounded.

Snapping your eyes open, you saw him. Screaming once against you pushed off of him blinded to your surroundings. You fell down onto a cold marble floor it hurt but you could care less right now. Anything to get away from him.

"Don't touch me! S-stay away from me! J-Jane! Where are you!?" You screamed out tears already rolling down your face. Still crawling away from Caius you kept your eyes on him the best you could with blurred vision. 

"What-" Cauis started but was cut off by your words.

"Don't talk to me, leave me alone! Jane! W-where's Jane!? Jane! Jane!!" You cried screaming at the top of your lungs. 

Everyone's attention snapped to the door as Jane busted through the door. Her piercing red eyes were filled with anger ready to unleash hell on anyone that dared to hurt what is hers. 

"What happened!" She snapped sharp eyes staring down everyone who was in the room. She saw no threat but that didn't mean there wasn't one.

You were in the throne room as you always were half the time. Everyone knew you loved laying upon the throne with Caius. You were often there with him during most trails. It was convenient because most of the time all of your mates were there also. So hearing your screams come from this room of all places put Jane on guard. 

"We don't know she was just resting as she always is, then woke up screaming." Marcus stated.

"She's very frightened and the first one so called out for was you. Go to her, Slowly.” Aro said making sure to speak softly.

She listened, making sure to take slow and soft steps towards you. When she was finally in front of you she kneeled down to your level as you had backed yourself into a corner. 

“Who scared you?” She asked, trying her best to not sound too demanding but failing miserably. 

You reached out and wrapped your arms around her tightly, crying hard.

“Please don’t let him hurt me.” You whispered into her neck. A whisper so low that she had to try to listen. 

“Who is trying to hurt you?” She whispered back wrapping her arms around you. Doing her best to console you as physical touch is still a hard thing for her.

“C-caius he bit me he was trying to kill me.” You said still shaking as the scene replayed in your head over and over again.

“Well I guess we know who won't be turning her.” Felix snickered, earning a shove from dem.

“Silence!” Cauis ordered, making Felix shut up immediately. His loud tone made you jump and brung more tears to your eyes. Jane continued to comfort you, whispering calming and promising words in your ear.

“Go on, tell me what else happened.” She beckoned.

“I was trying to run away from him b-because he was chasing me. I didn’t know why until I realized that I was bleeding and he wasn’t chasing me to help me. He was chasing me to bring more h-harm to me. I was going in circles and I couldn’t find a way out! There wasn’t a way out but I kept trying and trying but he still got me and- He drained me of everything inside of me.. I can still feel his bite. It hurts, why does it hurt?” You whimpered out sniffling every few words. You held onto Jane tighter in fear she would let you go.

It was silent for a while. No one in the room knew quite what to say. Or what you needed to hear. But the one thing they all knew was that no matter how much Cauis would threaten or yell at you he would lay down his life for you. And if he ever laid a harmful hand on you the rest of you mates would deal with him no matter the consequences. One little human held so much power. 

“It was just a nightmare, you're safe. He would never hurt you. And if he did I’d kill him myself.” Jane said firmly. 

Her words brung comfort to you. Jane never lies. Especially to you.  She always says that she has no time for lying. To which you always say she technically has all her life or death to lie. 

“Jane let me see her.” Cauis said leaving no room for arguing.

“Caius.” Marcus said in a warning tone.

“Do you want to face him? I’ll take you away if not.” Jane whispered in your ear. It took a little while for you to answer but eventually you did sadly. You truly weren't ready to face him but you didn’t want Jane to get in trouble for your newfound fear.

“It’s okay..” You said slowly as if you were trying to convince yourself. 

“Are you sure?” She questioned.

“I’m sure.” You said taking a deep breath when Jane parted from you. Though Jane was freezing cold her cold began to feel warm to you. So when she let you go you couldn’t help but feel naked under the eyes of everyone in the room. A shiver ran down your spine when you finally made eye contact with Caius. His red eyes were intimidating but not as threatening as the ones in your nightmares. In fact his eyes looked.. Concerned, confusion and hurt. That one was a kick to the chest. You hated seeing him hurt but you hated seeing you hurt more. 

“Come here.” Caius said watching you as you took very slow steps to you. Realizing your fear was truly real as you'd normally run to him full of joy. But now you shake with each step. You were never even this scared when you first met. 

Once you were standing in front of him he closed the gap between you two holding onto your hands. Your warm soft ones colliding against his cold hard ones.  

“You truly think I’d ever hurt you on purpose if at all? I’m offended by how lowly you think of me amore mio.” He frowned looking down at you. 

“It was- it felt very real.” You whispered looking down but that didn’t last long as he put his hand under your chin and tilted your head back up to face you.

“If you're frightened do not be cowardly in fear I will not accept it. Especially when I am aware of how fearless you are. It was a horrible dream, a nightmare. One that will never come true.” He said watching you with close eyes.

“I-” You were cut off with his next words.

“You should know that I would never hurt you on purpose. But eventually for you to be with us forever you will have to be turned. But it won't be painful for you. We will ensure it. Alec will use his power to make sure of it.” Caius stated as if this would make you feel better.

“You’ve been conspiring about my death behind my back?” You questioned furrowing your eyebrows.

“More like preparing. You're not getting any younger.” Felix said from behind you.

“Are you serious?” You questioned.

“We’d rather have you dead and with us rather than dead and gone bellissima.” Dem voiced softly in hopes you wouldn’t get upset with the rest of them.

“I feel like this is some type of gaslighting or manipulation.” You said, shaking your head.

“Nevermind that, do you feel better?” Alec asked, deterring your thoughts from this topic.

“I kinda do. I’d still like a little space from you though.” You said looking up at Caius. 

“Only a few days after that you're asking for ungiveable things.” He said letting you go but not before kissing you on your forehead making you freeze momentarily.

“Go get some rest.” He dismissed you.

As you walked away after standing there for a while Jane followed you and right when you grabbed the door Caius words made you stop in your tracks.

“ You shouldn’t be scared of me in that sense. You wouldn’t even be filling, you refuse to take your vitamins Carlisle insists you take.” He yelled out so you could hear. 

You couldn’t help the small laugh that came out of your mouth knowing how true that statement was. For the next few days Jane followed you everywhere. Always on your heels. Sleeping with you, feeding next to you, If she knew you were having a bad dream she’d wake you up right away and take you out for a walk. All until you felt comfortable to be alone with Cauis she was right there by your side. 

And when you finally felt comfortable enough you saw how bad Cauis was taking it through his paintings. He was afraid you would see him as a monster. He knew he was but he never wanted to be that in your eyes. You spent the next few nights showing him how fearless you were of him. Wink wink.

[tiredofthehumanlife]

Draco malfoy headcannons

flavor: fluffy and smutish but they're separated so you won't get jump scared

Also I'm returning to my roots with this stinky mf okay I have writers block

Sfw

Liked you in the hallway crush type of way yk like when there’s that one person in the halls that you're like “god damn, anyways where’s my next class”

Never even tried to speak to you was just like ” I'll gaze from afar”

The only problem is that he has major resting bitch face so you were sat there racking your brain over what you could’ve possibly done to this random daddy’s money kid (like this isn't set in a private school but LOOK OVER THERE)

Confessed by just standing in front of you and 👁👁 before handing you an outdated birthday card with a 100 dollar bill inside with a note inside that was basically just him like “PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLE-“

You did give him a shot and he did actually speak words to you

bitchest bitch ever yall bicker (lovingly of course) 24/7

“did you for real just copy off of me?” “Okay well at least I don’t have daddy issues” “You cannot be talking and you know it”

He gives stick bug vibes yk

does not comprehend normal human life you could be complaining about doing laundry and he is like “Just have one of the elves do it?” and you are like “😶right so-“

just assume you have the answer to everything bc like you’re his partner? tf?

“how far away is Saturn in kilometers?” “They don't measure distance with kilometers, Draco, you dumbass. It’s called lightyears.” ‘right so in lightyears then?” “How tf am I supposed to know?”

he’ll hear a crash and look to you like you know what’s going on and you’ll turn his head back

I'm not one to assume someone’s sexuality but it's very much bisexual for the both of you (he likes guys and you know it)

a hot guy will pass and you both turn to each other like {insert Bratz meme here}

has created mustard gas on accident

laughs at his own jokes unironically (he is the only one laughing)

will try to be relatable and it's just like “yk that moment when your Prada shoes get gourmet chocolate on them”

makes up new names for your stuffed animals bc he thinks all the ones you picked were “lame”

his beauty sleep comes above everything else

Once Theo woke him up (there was a fire they had to evacuate) and the next night you found him hovering a pillow over Theo’s face you tackled him to the ground

Only knows how to play dominoes no card games or anything only dominoes

Bought you guys matching sleep masks

And embroidered PJs

And bunny slippers

PDA hater

He’ll sit next to you at max when you're around lots of people when you're just around his friends he's down with hugs and hand-holding holding maybe a cheek kiss but that's it

Alone is a different story he's attached to you he's actively trying to crawl under your skin as we speak

Terrified of bugs he's standing on a chair and screaming the second he sees one

Pays you in kisses when you take the bug outside (after you wash your hands)

Prefers baths over showers

Hates dogs and growls at them more than they growl at him

Only likes cats in theory bc they leave hair on his clothes

He's a reptile man

has owned a bearded dragon and will own more

Cold mf you wanna look me in the eye and tell me he has good circulation

Presses his cold ass feet against you while you're on the brink of sleep so confused when you swing your hand back to smack him

“I'm just cuddling you?”

“Cuddle somebody else fucking ice cube bitch ass”

Every single night

He sleeps on his back with his hands on his stomach like he's going to get lowered into his casket it's embarrassing

Thinks he knows how to shake ass and then when he tries (and fails) he considers never speaking to anyone ever again

Has gotten flirted with while he was with you and he just stared at them blankly bc he couldn't tell if it was happening

And then he left the room entirely

Walks in on people butt ass naked bc he has not learned how to knock (only child syndrome)

Stares a lot

He has nothing better to do so he’ll just come join you in your dorm and 👁hi👁

You've learned to block him out so he’ll scare the shit out of you

Sure he doesn't know how to flirt but he has money so he makes up for it

If you look at anything longer than three seconds he's following behind you with his card and the other twelve bags you have

This does have you ending up with things you didn't want so your friends love your random gifts

One of them will walk into potions with a luxury purse and one of the other kids will be like “tf Did you get that?” and your friends are like “🫵” And you're like “I didn't want it” So some of the student body does hate your guts just a little

favorite food is plain white rice

Thinks that acrylic nails go under the skin yk like in those videos with the fake hands pushing the nails up the finger yeah he thinks that actually happens to people

Jaw on the floor when you explain to him that's not what happens

Nsfw kinda

Down to three-way and will NOT let you forget

“I met this cute girl at the-” “I'm down. 😐”

“Oh did you see Harry this morning he was-” “Do you think he'd hook up with us?😐” “Babe. We've talked about this” “just once please”

Has asked you to peg him

unless you have a dick then he's asking for one of those two-way things (you're on my blog you know what I'm talking about dude)

Sub SUCK MY DICK DUDE HES A SUB SHUT UP

Actively begging sobbing on his knees “Please baby Please being so good please”

Would be a swinger and he'd have a pineapple on his front porch

Sorry

Has dabbled in the lockerrooms

Will ask you if the boys can watch him hit and you said only if they see him at his lowest begging and pleading for you he is silent as of now (give him two weeks)

Type of bitch to be covered in hickeys and when someone is like “What happened? To your neck?” and he's like “Literally what are you talking about?” will gaslight them into thinking there's nothing on his neck

Prefers cuddling naked but hates not immediately being in the bath after sex so he has to battle himself in his head

Can't dirty talk he's like “You look so nice when you're not in clothes? Do you like my wee wee?” and you're sitting there “bitch your what?”

Have resulted in him not being allowed to talk

Quickies number one hater

Needs his time to get into pussybitchboy mode

Okay bye

[meyerlansky]

for wip title meme - Stalag shit pretty pls!

tagging @sluttyhenley and @redbelles since you guys asked about it to AND ALSO

bell you're getting called OUT 😈

sooo this is actually the first thing i started writing for mota and it was an unclog-the-pipe kind of idea and is self-indulgent with regards to wanting more bucky whump. i may actually never post it in totality for... a couple reasons, but i actually did a fuckton of research into how the stalags were run and kriegie culture inside of them, so it was a good exercise on a lot of levels even if it never sees the light of day. because it's sort of backburnered, that means i feel more comfortable posting BIG CHUNKS OF IT 🎉 but uh, that said, this one IS going under a cut because in addition to there being a lot of it, it's. dark.

cw noncon and psychological torture, you can probably guess where this is headed. the structure i settled into with this one is gale POV for the first part, wherein Something Is Wrong With Bucky:

Bucky shrugs, a quick, smooth shuffle of his shoulders that’s as big a lie as what’s coming out of his mouth. “Krauts get a little rough sometimes. Nothing anyone else didn't get.”

“They didn't do anything to me,” Gale says, every word feeling heavier than the last, pulling him down. “Just asked me some questions.”

Two things happen then. Something in Bucky’s face twitches, a flinch stealing over it so quick Gale barely catches it. But his shoulders drop, just a bit, some tension leaving him. Gale for the life of him can’t make sense of it.

“‘Course not, Buck,” Bucky says, light, easy, like Gale doesn't have a pit the size of the Atlantic opening up in his gut, cold flooding in. “Who'd wanna damage that pretty face of yours?”

From any of the boys, there might be some bitterness in it—it’s not like Gale doesn't know some of the goons cut him a break, ’cause of rank or coloring or whatever else. From John there’s just… relief. It feels wrong. The pit yawns wider, and the water gets higher. “Roughed yours up, though,” he says, the words feeling distant as he remembers the black eye John was sporting, that first day. The way John had grabbed his chin, tilted his head around, looking for something. Something like the beating he got, maybe.

That's what Gale had thought at the time. Now he’s not so sure that’s where it ended.

Bucky’s eyes go dark again, as distant and near-drowned as Gale feels, so he claws his way back. Tries, anyway. “Yeah, well,” John mutters, “better me than you.”

and what's wrong is not only was bucky sexually assaulted post-interrogation, but the guards told him they did the same to gale when he passed through the dulag, and he spends months beating himself up about not being there and being able to take it instead of gale, until he says something about it and gale's like ??? and bucky realizes it WAS instead but now gale KNOWS. second part's bucky's POV of the assault, so it's not chronological, and maybe it doesn't need to be shown/written at all but i wanted to because i like whump.

He’s got a headache the size of Texas, blood—his own, his own, not some kid in a cart’s, they let him wipe that off, so what's left is just his own, thank Christ—itching as it dries behind his ear, and a pit in his chest every time he thinks about Bremen and London and Russelheim and the way the woods smelled when he was running through them, clean and green and endless—

The door slams open, and Bucky gets two seconds to berate himself for jumping, for being so in his own head he didn't hear them coming, before one of the goons grabs his arm and yanks him up, spinning him to face the wall. Turns his head to the window on instinct, but the light spilling in catches him off guard and sends a new wave of pain spiking through his skull.

“Heya, fellas. Couldn't get enough, huh?” He shoots over his shoulder, hands up but grinning like nothing’s wrong, like he’s back at Thorpe Abbotts joking with the boys.

(Later on, he’ll wonder if that was what did it. If he’d just kept his eyes forward, his mouth shut, if they’d have—)

and the third part's gale POV again, after their little yard spat and is........ kind of recovery? inasmuch as one is capable of recovering while still stuck in a POW camp and going crazy with fear because no one takes your warnings about needing to get the fuck out seriously, and also your best friend punching you in the face is the most normal you've felt in almost a year:

“I’m sorry.”

The noise that comes out of Bucky’s bunk is barely human, a snarl more suited to Meatball, or the Kraut’s dogs. “You’re sorry,” Bucky snarls. “You are a real piece of work, Buck.”

He rolls over, kicks his legs out of the bunk, boots on, to glare up at Gale. “Saint Cleven,” he sneers, and he’s just pissed and it's nothing Gale hasn't heard before, but it still stings a bit. “I pick a fight and you’re the one who's sorry.” His eye’s already swelling up, purpling a bit at the edge. Again. Gale’s stomach roils looking at it. “It’s not bad enough that’s the first time you’ve treated me like normal—”

“Hittin’ you ain’t normal,” he bites out, before he can stop himself. He scrubs his hand over his eyes, just for a second, and when he looks back John's anger has dimmed a bit, banked coals instead of the inferno.

“It’s better than whatever the hell you’ve been doing the last few weeks.”

How’s that?” Gale says, sharper than he means to. Whatever he means, there’s nothing better in hurting Bucky. Not when he’s already had plenty more than his fair share.

“You won't touch me, Buck!” It’s hissed through John’s teeth but it hits him with all the force of a baseball bat to the face. It sits between them for a moment, heavy.

“That's not true,” he mutters, but there’s no strength in it, and John barely dignifies it with a scoff.

He tries again. “I didn't think you’d want…” He trails off, feeling stupid even as the words come out of his mouth. Bucky can't go ten minutes without slinging his arm around a pal’s neck, a clap on a shoulder, an elbow in someone’s side to get their attention. He couldn't, anyway. Before all this

“The hell d’you know about what I want,” Bucky snaps, like he doesn't wear every thought on his face clear as day. “I'm damaged goods, I get it, but I’m not some china doll—”

“You’re not damaged goods,” Gale shouts, the words bursting out of him like water from a burst pipe and loud enough to make John flinch back, shock all over his face.

sooo yeah! that's stalag shit! if i do ever get it done, i think it'll need some revisiting on the characterization, but honestly probably not that much. it is however the only purely-clegan wip i have, which means it would probably do better than alllllllll my other stuff even WITH the caveat that it's dark content. which is very funny to me in a bitter sort of way.

[burning-academia-if]

How would the Ro's react to their partner (mc) sitting down on their lap and doing their makeup??

I'm going to be honest, I couldn't tell if you meant "MC sits down in their lap and does the RO's makeup" or "MC sits down in the ROs lap and does their own makeup" but I went with the 1st one because it felt more fun lol

Rook: He leans back and lets you, without needing much convincing at all. He also isn't about to question why you decided you had to be in his lap to do this instead of in a normal position. He might get a little fidgety depending how long you're going for, tapping against whatever he's sitting on or on your legs or anything else.

Beck: I think he'd be a little excited to try makeup lol, although the closeness makes him pause for a second before he notices what you're going to do. He closes his eyes for the full thing, eyelids twitching when you touch certain parts of his face, fingers twitching against your skin in the same way.

Rhea: She might be shy because of how you're sitting, but she would also love it if the both of you did each other's makeup. While you're doing hers, she's already talking about all the different things that you'd look good with and how to accentuate your best features. It sort of almost turns into her talking about how attractive she finds you without her realizing it

Zoe: They can't tell whether they want to go still or twitch away. Ultimately, they sit rod straight, trying to figure out where to place their hands. Your face is so close, and thank god they need to close their eyes for parts of this, because they keep getting distracted by you. After you're done, they might quietly ask if they can do your own.

Lars: He looks wildly unamused, but he just casually keeps an arm around your waist to keep you steady as he lets you do what you want. If you try to do anything too elaborate, he probably won't entertain it, but he does let you mess around a little bit.

???: My first image is that one Meme Pose of the one girl doing the other's make up (if you know, you know) lmaO. I don't think they'd be the biggest fan of the feeling of it against their skin, but they also would never say no to you. You might get their hands wandering just a little, but it's less heated and more them trying to distract themselves from the sensation of the brush and the texture of the makeup then anything heated

[aurumacadicus]

56 for the ask meme ficlet

Steve rolled onto his stomach as he heard Tony shuffling around in the closet, crossing his arms in front of him and placing his chin on them. As he got comfortable, Tony stepped back into the room, wearing nothing but one of Steve's shirts. It was a nice look on him, and it sent a pleased, possessive little thrum through him. He ignored it, though. Tony was getting ready for a board meeting. If he was late, Pepper would come in and skin Steve alive. 'I trained Tony to be properly terrified of me, so I know it's your fault he's regressed,' she'd told him once, ominously, and it had scared Steve enough that he decided not to test her resolve.

"What do you think?" Tony asked, holding up one hanger with a gorgeous suit on it. "The brown?" He held up the other, with another, equally beautiful suit on it. "Or the black?"

"It doesn't matter to me, so long as I get to peel it off you when you come home," Steve said, and Tony laughed, and shook his head, rolling his eyes fondly. He tilted his head, watching as Tony turned to face the mirror and held them both up to his body. "Does anyone else there dress as well as you?"

"Of course," Tony answered, not even having to think about it. "Some of the board are even wealthier than me. Old-old-old money. The rock on Mrs. Minvera's finger is worth more than my entire outfit will be."

"Oh," Steve said. He didn't know why he was surprised, except that he'd once seen Tony's credit card bill, and the number had about knocked him out. He watched as Tony casually tossed both suits onto one of the chairs next to the mirror, suddenly feeling vaguely nauseous. "Do you ever wish that I wore stuff like that?"

Tony scoffed, pulling Steve's shirt over his head. "No? I'd prefer neither of us wear anything at all, but..." He paused, stilling in his movements, before he swung around, peering out of the collar of the shirt at Steve. "Why would you ask me that?"

Steve dropped his eyes, embarrassed. "Sometimes I worry I'm just... not up to par with you?"

"Not up to par? Why?" Tony asked bluntly, and then added, "That's irrational. You are being irrational with me. I like you in your too-tight shirts and your wool socks and your old man khakis."

Steve scowled, looking back up at him. "If you meant it, you could at least not call them old man khakis."

Tony sighed, rolling his eyes. "Chinos then."

"Are you swearing at me?" Steve asked, sitting up a bit in offense. "Also, please stop having this conversation with me through the collar of my shirt. I feel like I'm having a conversation on a submarine."

"Because you've been on so many submarines," Tony scoffed, but obediently pulled the shirt off the rest of the way.

Steve was momentarily distracted at the hickeys that became visible on Tony's hips and chest with the motion. He was quickly forced back to the situation at hand when Tony used his wadded-up shirt as a projectile. It hit him directly in the face. "Ow!" He tugged it off his face. "What was--did you wrap my shirt around a shoe?!"

"I needed extra weight to make sure it hit you," Tony answered flatly. "I'll need that back. Anyway," he added, crossing his arms over his chest. "If you're worried about someday meeting the board and getting their approval for whatever reason, stop. They won't like you regardless. They barely like me."

"Huh?!" Steve shouted.

"They didn't like Howard or Obadiah either," Tony continued blithely.

Steve stared at him for a moment, too stunned to speak. He couldn't even really enjoy Tony's nakedness. He didn't understand rich people at all.

[sassy-cass-16]

man. the locked tomb is so funny and so full of memes and so beautiful and sometimes it just hits me that it's also so fucking sad.

gideon and harrow spent their entire childhoods hating each other for no reason. they never had to hate each other. harrow had gideon's blood on her hands when she opened the tomb and lost her entire family and it was all for no reason. just because gideon had no one to stick up for her. and when they were both orphans they couldn't even talk to each other about it. because they hated each other.

gideon fell so in love with harrow that she died for her and then harrow spent an entire year pretending she didn't exist just so she wouldn't lose her forever. gideon literally tells harrow's story for her and takes such reverent care of her body for the short time she's in it. gideon first saw her own father through harrow's eyes and called him Lord.

and john. and john is terrible. and he is so human that he becomes terrible. he breaks down weeping because no one else in the entire universe will ever understand his jokes again. he lost everything and he is the only one who even remembers the thing that was lost. he is so completely ordinary that you almost feel like you can't blame him for everything he's done but he is terrible. he let his friends die over and over and over again and he wants to wipe everything clean and start over and he is a man who has gone so completely insane from loneliness that he's circled back around to seeming horribly normal.

he greets his daughter with a dad joke and names her as best he can and gives her a title and a body with speed holes that help her go fast. and he's not malicious. and he's not good. you can't even really call him a villain--what the hell else was he supposed to do? in any of these circumstances? but he is trying his best and his best is simply not good enough. the true horror of god is that he is just human.

all the lyctors. all the lyctors are a tragedy in their own rights. augustine and mercymorn are just the two examples that we know the most about, and their own god/father/brother/lover/beloved/teacher killed them both.

(admittedly, mercymorn struck first. admittedly, john was defending himself and his entire empire. admittedly, it was ianthe's choice to save john in the river that killed augustine. less than an hour before that, augustine was apologizing for raising his voice and john told him to have a cigarette and do you see what i mean about it being hard to blame john for anything?)

and the whole concept of the fourth house in general. we don't talk about that enough. that is almost an entire planet's worth of child soldiers, from what little information we have. what does it say about ulysses and titania that they were the ones to found that house? isaac was thirteen. jeannemary was fourteen. they were expected to become full lyctors before isaac's voice had even dropped. there was no way they could make it off canaan house alive. these kids were doomed.

protesilaus ebdoma had a wife and kids. his wife's name is mia and she probably has no idea what actually happened to him. same with abigail's brother and nephew. corona and ianthe's parents must be losing their shit--they think their eldest daughter is dead and their younger one is now a fucking Saint with a gold skeleton arm.

that's not even getting into alecto. or nona. or camilla and palamedes and paul. this series is so fucking sad even without getting into the revelation that all the lyctors are slowly merging with their cavaliers.

[thatboreddrake]

Ruthlessness is Mercy

Alright, so now that I've got my incoherent ravings and memes about Epic: the Musical, the Vengeance Saga out of the way, I have some THOUGHTS about the musical symbolism in this new album! Speaking specifically about Get in the Water.

Because really, this song is a reflection of Ruthlessness, the song in the Ocean Saga where Odysseus faces off against Poseidon for the first time.

These parallels can be seen even from the opening lines of each song. Think about Poseidon's opening in Ruthlessness:

"Odysseus of Ithaca Do you know who I am?"

(Okay, so this is technically the end of Keep Your Friends Closer, but still, it's Poseidon's introduction). But recall Poseidon's behavior and attitude here: he's loud, he's proud, he's bombastic, he's in-your-face. He addresses Odysseus by his name as an intentional callback to when he taunted Polyphemus. Contrast this against the opening line of Get in the Water:

"There you are, coward."

There's a familiarity here that isn't present in Ruthlessness. Of course there is, Odysseus has narrowly evaded Poseidon's wrath once before (twice if you count Storm), and he's had 10 years to stew on that failure. Both of them know what this is about, it's just about putting an end to unfinished business. Poseidon is not proud, he is not overly aggressive. He's much calmer here than he was in Ruthlessness.

This is even reflected in the music. Ruthlessness features a piano playing in triplet and trumpets to accompany Poseidon. The god of waves has come to bring retribution on the one who dared to harm his son. On the other hand, Get in the Water, features a much more synthetic sound, oscillating back and forth. This motif is used a lot in Epic to denote the presence or usage of godly powers (think Calypso's reveal of her nature in Love in Paradise). Furthermore, the piano is much slower, more menacing, more methodical. Poseidon is not acting in a heat of rage. As I said before, he's had a long time to think about this.

Poseidon's choice of words punctuates this point as well. He has a point to make in Ruthlessness. He's not just here to kill Ody and his crew, he's here to explain exactly what it is that they've done and why they deserve to die for it.

"I've gotta make you bleed, I need to see you drown But before you go, I need to make you learn how Ruthlessness is mercy upon ourselves"

It's not just about the fact that Odysseus got into a fight with Polyphemus. It almost seems that Poseidon couldn't care less about that. After all:

"I mean, you totally could have avoided all this had you just killed my son"

Poseidon's problem is not that Ody hurt his son, those things happen in the world of mythology. No, his issue is that Ody refused to finish the job. Instead of granting Polyphemus a quick death, he instead elects to "spare" him, leaving him to suffer a lifetime of agony to live with his blindness. Poseidon goes on and on about this (it is the main theme of the song after all).

But in Get in the Water? It's all about salvaging Poseidon's reputation and finishing what he started.

"I've got a reputation I've got a name to uphold So I can't go letting you walk or else the world forgets I'm cold"

By this point, Poseidon has killed hundreds of Odysseus's men and subjected him to horrible torment. By any normal metric, the debt has been repaid. Ody didn't kill Polyphemus, so strictly speaking there's no need to kill him necessarily. The lines listed above almost seem to be a callback to this line from Monster:

"Or does he keep us in check So we must respect him And now no one dares to piss him off?"

Anyway, by the time of Get in the Water it's no longer about avenging his son for Poseidon. In fact, Poseidon makes no mention of his son throughout the entire song! Granted, Poseidon threatens Telemachus with the same fate that Odysseus gave to Polyphemus, but this strikes me more as incentive for Odysseus than anything else. This is all about finishing his business with Odysseus, and Poseidon's command to Odysseus reflects this:

"Now get in the water"

Poseidon says this so nonchalantly. He almost sounds as tired of this feud as Odysseus is. In fact, it's not until the second half of the song that Poseidon regains a portion of the fury that he exudes throughout the entirety of Ruthlessness. And this culminates in the same command in both songs:

"Die"

And here's where the parallels get particularly interesting to me. Because both outbursts follow an attempt by Odysseus to assuage Poseidon's wrath. In Ruthlessness, he appeals to his men's relative innocence in the matter:

"Poseidon, we meant no harm We only hurt him to disarm him We took no pleasure in his pain We only wanted to escape"

Here, Poseidon's reaction is a realization that Odysseus has completely misunderstood the very nature of the interaction. He realizes that Odysseus is arguing out of ignorance, and so the reply does nothing to enrage him. He's not having fun with it like he was before, this is just something he has to do. And so:

"Ruthlessness is mercy Die"

Compare this with the same interaction in Get in the Water. Odysseus once again tries to encourage Poseidon to put the past behind them and move on. To forgive and forget.

"We're both hurting from losses So why not leave this here and just go home?"

Here again, Poseidon does not get angry from Odysseus's suggestion. He merely offers a defeated:

"I can't"

Misunderstanding Poseidon's quietude for passivity, Odysseus attempts to press his advantage, insinuating that, even if it seems impossible to Poseidon, it is still possible for him to learn how to forgive Odysseus.

"Maybe you could learn to forgive?"

And here's where Poseidon really snaps. Because for ten years, he's been waiting to kill the man who blinded his son and had the audacity to escape his retribution. Odysseus broke into his son's home, killed his sheep, and stabbed him in the eye. And now he thinks he can get away without getting his due consequences?

"No Ruthlessness is... Mercy upon... Ourselves Die"

In Ruthlessness, "Die" is a statement of fact. It's a sure thing that Odysseus will die, so Poseidon puts very little emotion behind it. It's a command, surely to be obeyed. In Get in the Water, however, "Die" is an exclamation of fury. Poseidon screams it out because, in that moment, he wants nothing more to kill Odysseus.

In Ruthlessness, Poseidon begins in a state of almost glee but ends in a state of resignation. He isn't enjoying it, but still it has to be done. In Get in the Water, however, Poseidon begins with a sense of quiet fury. There's no rage, no wild temper, he's just finally getting to do what he's waited to do for ten years. And yet, he ends with a greater feeling of anger and hatred towards Odysseus than is shown even in Ruthlessness. Because Ody was supposed to have learned his lesson. He was supposed to know better now. And yet he still wants to offer mercy, and expects his foe to do the same.

So yeah.