#Cornley Polytechnic Amateur Dramatic Society

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Sandra: You deserve a reward for putting up with me. 

Max: You are my reward. 

Meanwhile…

Chris: You deserve a reward for putting up with me. 

Trevor: True, you can be really difficult at times. 

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Robert: You almost got us killed!

Trevor: …

Trevor: You’ve nearly gotten us killed a dozen times.

Trevor: Yesterday.

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Chris: Could you tell them to stop yelling at the football?

Sandra: Football? They’re watching last night’s Bake Off.

Dennis: Look at that sponge!

Max: That’s rubbish!

Trevor: Temper your chocolate, you twat!

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Max: I’m a hopeless bromantic. High five me in the rain, fist bump me gently as the sun sets.

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Sandra: You’re annoying.

Max: Then stop holding my hand.

Sandra: No.

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Chris, banging on Max’s door: Open up!

Max: What’s the password?

Chris: What?

Max: No.

Chris: Open this door!

Max: Not even close!

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Trevor: I'm like if a corpse had to wake up every day.

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Robert, about Dennis: I'm going to study this man like a rat. What's wrong with your mind? I'm so intrigued.

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Max: Can I tell you a secret?

Annie: Of course.

Max: I think I might like Sandra.

Annie: Okay. What’s the secret?

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Robert: [Loses Dennis in a crowd]

Robert:

Robert: [Shrugs]

Robert: Oh, well.

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Annie: Look, Chris, it's the third time this week you’ve had a mental breakdown and it’s Monday.

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Max, drawing a picture of Chris: What do you think, Chris? Your eyes are red cause I ran out of brown.

Chris: My eyes are green.

Max: Now you tell me.

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Max: The next time Chris is angry with me, I'll drape him in a cape and say, “Now you're super angry."

Max: Maybe he'll laugh. Maybe I'll die.

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Chris, to Max and Sandra: I understand that you two love each other to the moon and back, but can you please stop eye-fucking each other?

Max, cheerfully: No.

Chris: Thought not.

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Max: [Opens shower curtain] What do you want for breakfast?

Trevor: Privacy!

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Max: Quick, take my hand!

Sandra, grabbing his hand: Now what?

Max: Nothing. I just wanted to hold hands.