#Connor Murphy x male reader

[yvette-tal]

“I feel kinda…empty.”

Connor opens his eyes again, turning on his side to look at you in the darkness of his room, barely able to make out your figure among his covers but she can clearly see your eyes so that’s what he looks at.

“yeah? what’s that like?” He mumbled as he scoots closer to hear you, assuming you don’t want to raise your voice much more than the whisper you started with.

“well..it just feels like nothing I do matters..”

Connor nods quietly, not wanting to interrupt since it’s the first time you’re telling him what you’ve been so ‘gloomy’ about the past few weeks, but he relates to you so far.

“Like..no matter what I do different or what I could do different—the people I talk to, wherever I happen to go that day, whatever I do in my free time before work, what I do after work…I feel empty. Like absolutely nothing would change is I were to just…”

You trail off and look away with a frustrated sigh, blocking Connor’s view of your eyes. “I’m a boring person.” You mumble into his pillow, flinching slightly when Connor lays his head on your shoulder.

“I don’t think you are.” He mumbled “all of my best memories involve you…I’d be upset if you just disappeared.” He added, leaning against you more and smiling slightly when he catches a glimpse of you rolling your eyes. “What? You don’t believe me?”

“No, Connor. I don’t.” You mutter and smack his hand away when he reaches up to squish your face in his hand “What could I have possibly done to make such a great change in your life?” You ask sarcastically, rolling your eyes again as Connor lays his head on the same pillow as you, this time laying on his back and looking up at the ceiling.

“Well, I probably would have killed myself by now if we never became friends.” He says quietly, looking over at you when you elbow him “I’m serious…”

“Yeah whatever…”

“I wouldn’t be having a sleepover with anyone right now if we hadn’t met, I wouldn’t have anyone to talk to, or share a sketchbook with…” Connor continued, only going quiet at the small sound of annoyance you let out.

“You could do that with anyone though..” I mumble and look the other way.

“but that point is that I did it with you. you’re what matters, idiot.” Connor mumbles as he pulls you close, an arm tight around your neck as he nuzzled your faces together, laughing quietly as you squirm in his hold to try to push him away.

“stupid, get off of me!” You whisper shout

“fuck you!” Connor whisper shouts back as he tightens his hold.

(can you tell I adore Connor Murphy lmao)

[awritessomething]

I have absolutely no ideas for writing whatsoever pleaseplease leave requests!!! Smut, angst, fluff, whatever y’all want I can probably do.

Ill write for these people and probably more that I forgot (all male character x fem!reader) :

Formula 1:

Max Verstappen

Oscar Piastri

Charles Leclerc

Lewis Hamilton

Carlos Sainz

Daniel Riccardo

Mick Schumacher

Franco Colapinto

Liam Lawson

Ollie Bearman

Criminal Minds

Spencer Reid

Aaron Hotchner

Derek Morgan

Marvel:

Bucky Barnes

Tony Stark

Thor

Deadpool

Steve Rogers

Spiderman (Tom Holland, Andrew Garfield, Miguel O'hara)

Harry Osborn (James Franco)

Wolverine (X-Men movies)

Cyclops (X-Men movies)

Charles Xavier (James McAvoy)

Call of Duty

Keegan Russ

Simon "Ghost" Riley

König

Phillip Graves

Kyle "Gaz" Garrick

Star Wars:

Anakin Skywalker

Obi-Wan Kenobi

Kylo Ren

Luke Skywalker

Han Solo

Outer Banks: (pls no spoilers s4 hasnt been watched yet)

JJ Maybank

Rafe Cameron

Topper Thornton

John B. Routledge

Ward Cameron

Harry Potter:

Harry Potter

Cedric Diggory

Draco malfoy

Ron Weasley

Fred Weasley

Blaise Zabini

Regulus Black

Severus Snape

Tom Riddle

Sirius Black

Lorenzo Berkshire

Oliver Wood

The Walking Dead:

Glenn Rhee

Daryl Dixon

Rick Grimes

Carl Grimes

Negan Smith

Sports:

Joao Felix

Jude Bellingham

Brock Purdy

Joe Burrow

Leon Draisaitl

Jack Hughes

Vince Dunn

Mitch Marner

Connor Bedard

Wayne Gretzky (young)

Miscallaneous:

Jack Champion (Ethan Landry)

Patrick Bateman

Batman (Christian Bale)

Johnathan Crane

Finnick Odair

Josh Hutcherson (Peeta Mellark, Mike Schmidt, Sean Anderson, Clapton Davis)

Rodrick Heffley

Tristan Dugray

Dylan O'brien

Bellamy Blake

Patrick Dempsey (Derek Shepherd, Ronald Miller)

Joe Goldberg

Timothee Chalamet (Wonka, Paul Atreides)

Minho (The Maze Runner)

Keanu Reeves (John Wick, Neo, Alex Wyler, Dr. Beckham, Julian Mercer, Ted Logan)

Jim Halpert

Farkas/Vilkas

Ulfric Stormcloak

Miraak

Ben Schnetzer (Max Vandenburg, Brad Land, Russ Sheppard)

Ralph Macchio (Daniel Larusso, Johnny Cade)

Dallas Winston

Sodapop Curtis

Robby Keene

Zuko (atla dallas liu)

Jet (atla sebastian amoruso)

Cillian Murphy (Johnathan crane, jackson rippner, Neil Lewis)

Evan Peters (all ahs characters, Luke cooper)

James Franco (Laird Mayhew, Harry Osborn, all characters)

What I wont do:

Pedophilia

Beastiality or anything animal-y

Waterworks

Male reader (sorry)

Character x character

Threesomes or anything not 1x1

Character x oc

Specific body types (i just don’t see the point)

Daddy/mommy kinks

Incest or stepcest

(I’ll prob have to add on but its midnight rn)

[alkaniia]

- Imagine Murphy telling you his darkest secret.

Pairing: Murphy x male reader Note: This was an old shortfic i made with Murphy that i did a long time ago, and decided to re-post it, i hope it was good.

”I just can't get ye out of my mind (m/n) I tried telling myself i couldn’t love ye since gay is a sin” Murphy began explaining himself, looking at you who had tears in your eyes.

Both of you had been fighting moments before, you were so upset on how Murphy never called you back or even came by your apartment. Both of your relationship had been a really good at the beginning but became really rocky when things started to get really weird. Murphy stopped calling or texting you, he never showed up at your door or took you out on dates.

You knew what dangerous job he had been dealing with ever since you started meeting him in the first place and nothing about that mattered to you, as long both you and Murphy had each other everything was amazing.

But now you were sitting here in the chouch getting ready to be told the biggest sceret Murphy ever had been keeping inside of him this whole time.

Your relationship began one day when Murphy was drunk in a bar and he was taking a liking to you when he saw you sitting alone, no one was around you two so he decided to make a move on you. While drunk Murphy couldn't really control his true feelings that he always wanted to hide from others. He was told by his brother Connor that it was a sin to love other men and it shouldn't be accepted, but as Murphy's overprotective brother couldn't do anything else than support his little brother.

Both Murphy and and his brother thought it was best to maybe try and get rid of this sin but it was impossible, always when they went out drinking or doing something else that involved girls Murphy was always looking at the other guys and couldn't think about something else.

When the two of you met Murphy couldn't take his eyes away from you, it was like a magnet. Murphy was always drawn to you and wanted to be close to you but at the same time he wanted to get away, he wanted to make his dad and brother proud.

”I love ye (m/n) and i can't keep pushing ye away from me, it's time i tell you the truth” Murphy continued as both of you starred in to each others eyes. You could see how worried Murphy was getting from all the stress he had been out out with from his brother and father.

Murphy took your hand in his and he saw a small smile appearing on your lips and the same happened for him, but he took a breath and breated out for being to nervous to tell you. It wass written all over him.

”I was abused by my father for being gay, i got scars on my back to prove it. I tried to push ye away so i could forget all those feelings i had for ye since i didn't want to hurt any of us both, that's why i had to leave ye alone for all that time” Murphy confessed as he still looked at you as he said those words. The smile on your face was replaced by a O-shaped mouth and worried eyes, one tear coming down your cheek as he spilled his darkest secret to you.

”I-I don't know what to say Murph, i'm really sorry for what happened” You stuttered, the grip in Murphy's hand got tighter as you replied to him and you could see how tense his body still was ”I'm just glad you're fine and i totally understand now, i'm happy you told me”

Both you and a smiling Murphy went in for a kissing hug as you snuggled up in his chest on the couch, smiling as you closed your eyes hearing his heartbeat.

[loserassacenekid]

rules for my writing >_<

HII okay i wanna start this off by saying my grammar is shit and I chose not to fix it cs I’m lazy:3 mainly the first people to read my fics are my friends(≧∀≦)

I mainly only do transmasc reader BECAUSE there’s not enough on here:(((also mainly only male characters..)

:♡.•♬✧⁽⁽ଘ( ˊᵕˋ )ଓ⁾⁾*+:•*∴♡⑅*˖•. ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙·̩̩̥͙*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .•˖*⑅♡ fandoms i write for

the walking dead:

Daryl Dixon

Carl aged(aged up)

rick grimes

Shane Walsh (..maybe..)

Glenn rhee!!

Negan smith(..maybe)

★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★

Heathers! jason Dean!

✮✮✮✮✮✮✮✮✮✮✮✮✮✮✮✮✮✮✮

dear Evan Hansen

Connor Murphy!

evan Hansen!

(No I will not do Connor x evan unless I feel like it.)

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡ The girl next door

klitz

eli

klitz + eli

✩.･*:｡≻───── ⋆♡⋆ ─────.•*:｡✩

actors

Mike faist<3

Norman reedus

Andrew Lincoln

chandler riggs(aged up ofc.)

Jeffery dean Morgan

(+ more!!)

✧❁❁❁✧✿✿✿✧❁❁❁✧✧❁❁❁✧✿✿✿✧❁❁❁✧

OKAY FR RULES!!

Do’s:

character x transmasc reader, character x me reader , character x oc!!

smut!★

angst (not good at it)✿

fluff! ☾

AGED UP CHARACTERS :3

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Maybe’s!!:

Female reader x character,any female character x female reader(no I’m not against lesbians I love you guys just not good at writing it:(()

dead dove! Do not eat!

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

NEVER UNLESS I SAY SO:

sibling x sibling reader(not even step sibling)

older character x MINOR READER( reader will always be 27-28 if it’s an older character.)

STEP DAD/MOM X KID!!(NO NO NO EW:(()

I CANT think of much now but if I remember I will add in that’s all byyeee!!

[n1ghtlux]

Stuck in between P1 [ao3]

Pairing: ghost!Connor Murphy x gn!ghost!Reader

Word count: 815

Summary: when you find yourself stuck in the afterlife you meet Connor Murphy, who's been here for longer than you have.

Warnings: some angst, reader has anxiety and other mental health issues, talking about weed and mentioning readers death briefly.

A/N: please do NOT romanticize death! You're needed and loved. If you need help, look at this post.

gif

To think you would be remembered as some "druggie who crashed their car" was beyond anything you could've imagined. Though it was incredibly thoughtless of you to drive back home after smoking weed with your friends.

Not that you would ever call yourself a "druggie". You knew what you were doing and the substance helped calm your anxiety and numbed you to the point of complete relaxation.

Only this time there was no way of getting home and no way of you crashing at your ex's place either. Not when he had female company and did the:

"I think we should call it a day",

with his hand gripping a girls' thigh tightly.

You had to get home somehow, so you got into your car and drove.

Only you never made it home.

Lesson learned.

For another time.

The "afterlife" or whatever you were stuck in was confusing. There is simply too much time to spend when you're there, but not really.

Thinking was about all you could do now.

Maybe this was your own little hell. You had spent days running after people, screaming at family, friends, anyone really. Yet, despite intense emotions following up with crashed mirrors and broken plates, your presence wasn't known to anyone.

You tried blaming the tree which you crashed into for it, but ended up leaning against it and watched the world continue on without you.

"This is my tree."

Furrowing your brows you looked to your right. The habit of thinking people are talking to you getting the best of you. Except this time there was someone staring right back at you.

Not through you, no. This guy was glaring at you, hands in his sweatshirt jacket pockets and foot tapping the grass impatiently.

You were up on your feet in an instant.

"You're dead too, aren't you?!"

You hadn't talked in forever so your voice made a terrible crack at the end, causing you to crunch your nose at yourself.

"You're sitting at my tree."

His demeanor didn't change, if your people skills didn't betray you, you would even say you had made him more frustrated. Who did he think he is?- Was?

Crossing your arms you replied in a mocking tone:

"Well, I'm sorry mr. Perfect but I died here, so I'm pretty sure this is my tree too."

He scoffed at that, a soft "fuck" leaving his lips as he brushed through his shoulder length hair with his right hand.

You started picking at the skin around your nails, a habit you hadn't even gotten rid of after your death.

The guy's gaze flickered to your hands briefly, before he sighed and walked up to you.

"Connor", his voice sounded less harsh than before. Right hand extended for you to shake.

It had been weeks since you last had any human contact and now here was - you had already forgotten his name again - willing to get to know you.

But when you went to shake his hand, you found yourself grasping at nothing but cold air.

"Guess you're new huh."

It was more of a statement than a question directed at you but you didn't really register his words.

You were staring at your hand, turning it over and tracing a wound from the accident with the fingers of your left hand.

Then you curled it into a fist, nails digging into the lifeless skin and sat back down with your back against the tree.

If it was possible, you felt even more numb and dead than before.

A cold breeze made the hairs on your arms stand as Connor sat down to your right with his hands in his lap and staring up at the sky.

"You're only able to touch others if you concentrate well enough."

You were still picking at your skin when he turned to you and put his hand on your arm.

The sensation made you suck in a breath and you looked up at him, relief evident on your face. His hand felt different on your skin than you had thought it to. There was a slight tingling sensation, like he was a vibrating ball of energy. Connor didn't feel dead at all. He felt more alive than anyone you had ever met before.

The corner of his mouth tugged up lightly at the sensation and your reaction to it. At least he was able to be helpful after his death.

He removed his hand from your arm and held it infront of you again like he did before. Knowing what he wanted you to do, you carefully slipped your hand into his now.

A huge grin forming on your face when you felt a new surge of energy course through your hand as it was firmly placed in his.

"Connor." , he nodded lightly, pushing a strand of hair out of his face in the process.

"Y/n."

{ masterlist }

[coldbrewreaper]

im about to read a connor murphy fanfiction that's tagged with slow burn and angst, 27 chapters.

lord have mercy

[toutallyahoe]

drabble dump pt5

requested by: –

pairing(s): various x male reader

warnings: cursing, character death, hints of smut

a/n: hmmmMMmmmmMMMm

"beautiful" — tommy jarvis (friday the 13th: the game)

[Name] adoringly looked at the man sleeping beside him. One of his hands lazily playing the sleeping man's hair as he softly smiled.

"God... you're so beautiful," [Name] softly muttered. There was a gleam of amusement in his [Eye color] eyes when he saw the supposed sleeping man beside him smile.

"Well... God made me beautiful," Tommy had said as he crack one eye open to see his lover's amused face. "Unlike you, he fucked up."

[Name] laughed at Tommy's words as he leaned close to the other man and placed a soft kiss on Tommy's forehead.

"Shut up, dork."

"together" — connor murphy (dear evan hansen)

Connor rolled his eyes, plucking the cigarette off from [Name]'s lips and instead put it on his, he took a puff. "Didn't think to find you here," he had said. [Name] shrugged.

"Had to get away," [Name] grunted as Connor plopped beside him on the table he was occupying outside 7/11.

There was silence between the two. After awhile, Connor laid his head on [Name]'s shoulder.

"You think we'll survive this shit?" Connor asked as [Name] let out a dry chuckle.

"No," [Name] had said as he laid his head on Connor's. "But who cares? We're together."

"cute" — kieran duffy (red dead redemption 2)

Kieran let out a surprised gasp when [Name] hauled him up by his legs. Kieran instinctively wrapped them around [Name]'s as his back was pressed on the solid wood of the tree.

"[N]... [Name]!" Kieran squeaked as he then immediately clamped one of his hands on his mouth to prevent any noises leaving them as [Name] entered inside him.

The said man merely chuckled at his actions and placed a soft kiss on his cheek as his lips were hidden by his hand.

"Sorry," [Name] half-heartedly apologized as he squeezed Kieran's thigh. "But you're too cute, mi amor."

"secret" — javier escuella (red dead redemption 2)

"Lo que digas gilipollas," Javier had said. [Name], who was near Javier couldn't help but snort as he rolled his eyes.

"Muy divertido, mi amigo," [Name] said, patting Javier on the back as Javier turned to look at him. Surprised Javier was until he remembered that [Name] knew Spanish, making Javier grin.

"Olvidé que hablas español," Javier had honestly said as [Name] shrugged. Not minding the annoyed glance from the man who came to them and insulted Javier.

"A veces yo también," [Name] chuckled. "De todos modos, ¿quieres insultar a este hijo de puta?" [Name] asked.

Javier grinned. "¡Por supuesto!"

"smells like you" — newt scamander (fantastic beasts and where to find them)

Newt smiled when he saw the potion on his cauldron was well. Newt could smell something nice. The potion was Amortentia which he brewed from curiosity.

The smell of musk, new parchment and the forest is what Newt had picked up. And something... something Newt can't quiet put place.

Eyebrows furrowed, Newt tried to remember what that smell was. He swore the scent was familiar.

The aroma was the woody smell of a broomstick handle. A thing he remembered a close friend of his carried with.

Newt's face flushed as he realized who it was. It smells like [Name].

< prev | next >

[sammie-cant-write]

Connor x Male!Reader NSFW Headcanons

• He brings things up at really inappropriate times

• "How would you feel about me going down on you?"

• "CoNnOr We'Re ArOuNd PeOpLe!"

• "And?"

• The gang is used to it by now

• It's just like "Same shit as usual"

• He also teases you at inappropriate times

• Like, are you in the play? Boner right before you go on

• Giving a presentation for your class? He'll grab your ass as discreetly as possible

• Eating lunch? That's when his eyes light up and sees how discreet he can be while keeping up normal conversation

• Movie night? You can bet your ass he's gonna make you lean on him and he's gonna be palming you throughout the entire thing

• Movie night? I think you mean time to make my boyfriend really horny for two and a half hours

• Zoe is sick and tired of your guy's shit

• "Just tell him to stop."

• "I can't do that."

• "Why not?"

• "He's gonna get sad."

• "THAT DOESN'T MATTER!"

• You guys have also fucked in really inappropriate places

• I'm talking janitors closet, school bathrooms, once on Evan's couch (he still doesn't know)

• You've gotten caught by others before but you don't care so you constantly remind them

• This just in, local emo stoner likes getting his hair pulled

• Like is an understatement, Connor fucking LOVES it

• Like, pull his hair and you've got him wrapped around your finger

• He treats you like you're porcelain unless you specifically say you want it rough

• I wrote most of these at like 2 am so I'm gonna go before it gets any worse bye

[generallyclumsy]

Self Hatred

Requested by @shoochi

Connor Murphy x trans!reader (FtM)

Warning: Dysphoria, self hatred, cursing, a trans guy written by a cis woman, not very well written or edited, idk prolly more. If you need me to tag anything else just let me know.

Word Count: 1.2 thousand words?

A/N: this came out a lot more angsty than I mean for it to be but I hope the fluff that’s there is enough. I also tried really hard to make this as accurate as I could although I feel like it comes off a bit vague. Also proofing this I realized that like, I talk about the reader being trans but the way I wrote it pronouns never come up I’m so sorry. God. I hope this is what you wanted and that I wrote it ok.

Requests open!

***

You had seen Connor around, although you’d never talked to him outside of short conversations in English where the two of you would discuss politics or the homework neither of you did. He didn’t seem like the kind of guy who talked much to anyone, so you always assumed you were no exception. You didn’t take it personally when you sat down and he didn’t even look up from his sketchbook, or when you’d say hi and he’s just “mmhmm” under his breath. But you did notice him.

You noticed the way he moved, the way he dressed, the way he kept himself, and you found yourself somewhat envious of his confidence, regardless of whether or not it was a farce. He moved in a way that was so careless and free, weighted down, but light, and the jealousy deemed itself natural.

But one day, a low day for you and a high day for your dysphoria, he said hello to you when you sat down at the table across from him. He wasn’t sketching today, but writing clumsily in a worn journal, his handwriting illegible from a normal angle, and completely impossible to read from upside down.

“Hi?” you responded, the tiniest bit startled, and very unsure of the circumstance for his alertness. Oh boy, was that a voice drop if you had ever heard one. He huffed a bit of a sarcastic laugh, and then closed his book.

“The fuck was the homework?” he asked, flipping through the copy of Hamlet that remained on his desk from yesterday.

“You think I did it?” You responded quickly, before pulling your English notebook out of your backpack and placing it on your desk.

“Kinda,” he said, his voice monotonous and his face emotionless.

“I had a bit of a thing going on yesterday.” You didn’t really enjoy going into detail about your mental state, or how inadequate you felt, but something funny happened when you said that; Connor, just for a split second, looked concerned.

“God, what a fucking mood.” You didn’t pay a lot of attention to the way he spoke, or the words he said, and instead found yourself trying to look less feminine to the friend you were beginning to enjoy being around.

“You good, man?” You asked and he snorted a tired, ironic laugh.

“Are you?” he gestured towards you with a long, slender hand. His voice had dropped a bit as he said it, and you found yourself trying to match it, only to disappoint yourself when you couldn’t.

“Fair enough,” you replied. As insecure as you were around him, you actually liked talking to Connor. He didn’t have an amazing reputation, and it most certainly preceded him, but the Connor you were talking to seemed just as crazy as everyone else. “Hey, Connor,” you said, before you could think about it. He looked back up at you from his book and raised an eyebrow.

“Yes?” he didn’t seem annoyed, which you deemed a good sign.

“God, um, it’s kind of stupid but like…” he laughed a little under his breath and (uncharacteristically) smiled a soft, bemused smile.

“Yes?” he encouraged

“You wanna hang out later?” he looked almost startled as you said it, like he wasn’t expecting you to actually want anything to do with him.

‘Uh, I mean,” he was stumbling over his words now, his usual confidence seemingly gone with just five words.

“It doesn’t have to be like a date or anything, I’m not even sure why I said it, nevermind.” He cocked his head at me and smiled.

“Sure, we can drive somewhere after school. Date or otherwise.” You nodded as he looked away from you again, and for a second, you forgot about how feminine and awful you felt that day because as crazy as people thought he was, you liked him and that made you feel some sort of way.

The rest of the day dragged on as you found yourself full of anxiousness in regards to your “date or otherwise.” Part of the anxiousness stemmed from your unsureness; of him and of yourself. Your feelings were a poker game, it was pure chance. Some days you radiate confidence, moved like you knew where you were going, and some days it was slouching because your chest wasn’t flat enough, lowering your voice every time you spoke and never feeling completely validated in yourself or your identity. But did Connor see it? He he notice you like you had noticed him? It didn’t seem like he did, God forbid he even knew your name, and there you were driving somewhere with him after school, and Goddamn if you didn’t forget to text your mom.

When the final bell rang you wondered towards the parking lot, not moving entirely slow, but not moving quickly either. He’s told you which spot he was parked in, and offered to meet you at his car, you agreed.

You still weren’t entirely sure what had possessed you to ask him out, or why you had done it so impulsively. Regardless, Connor received it a lot better than you thought he would. He agreed and now you got to go on a “date” with Connor from English, who threw a printer in the third grade, but always used the right pronouns. Hell, who even corrected someone with a classy “he did the first three slides.”

You found Connor leaning up against an old, beat up Nissan, his face pretty neutral until he saw you and smiled. Something about it felt wrong almost, like Connor Murphy shouldn’t be happy to see you. Maybe it was paranoia, bad luck, superstition, you couldn’t figure it out.

“Hi,” he said as you rounded the other side of the car.

“Hey,” you replied. “Where are we headed?”

The two of you ended up at a park around fifteen minutes from the high school. You had stopped at a gas station for coffee, which you’d covered because it made you feel good and he let you do it.

“So what’s your deal?” Connor asked as the two of you sat down on the swings next to each other, his hair falling in his face as he subtly swung.

“My deal?” he crossed his legs at the ankle.

“Nobody wants anything to do with me, and yet here you are, on a date with me. What’s wrong with you?” You were taken aback, both by the use of the word date and the question as a whole.

“I could ask you the same thing,” You tossed back. He snorted.

“So you just have no self respect,” he nodded. You shrugged as you fell quiet. “You know, you should give yourself more credit,” he added.

“You should to.” You looked over to him as he looked away from you. “You’re more than what people say about you,” he smiled a toothy smile, his eyes crinkled.

“Y/N, you’re the only person around here who treats me like I’m human.” his hand dropped down from where it had been perched on the swing chain and brushed against yours.

“Do you ever feel like your self hatred is so deeply ingrained that you don’t deserve happiness?” His pinky linked with yours as you said it.

“All the fucking time,” he looked sad now, less happy and sarcastic than he had been.

“I guess we aren’t so different after all.”

“You know that you shouldn’t though, right?” I took his whole hand in mine. “You shouldn’t hate yourself.”

“Ditto.” Then his phone started going off in his pocket, and I quickly let go of his hand so he could answer it.

He talked a few minutes, his responses simple and concise before he hung up and stood up. I looked up at him. “What’s going on?”

“I gotta take you home, I forgot to get Zoe from Jazz Band and my parents are fucking fuming.” I stood up with a short nod, trying to hide my disappointment.

“Ok,” he smiled as we reached the park gate.

“But we’ll be going out again,” he said with a confident smirk. “That is, if you’ll have me.”

[ladywhistleupp]

If I started writing fanfiction, how many of y’all would actually read it?

It would probably include Spencer Reid, Eddie Munson, Steve, Harington, Peter Parker/Spiderman, Steve Rogers/Captain America, Bucky Barnes, some other Marvel men, Batman (Robert Pattinson), maybe a couple Twilight male characters, Fezco, maybe Nate Jacobs (emphasis on the maybe), Connor Murphy from Dear Evan Hansen, and whoever else I randomly decide.

It’ll probably be a lot of x black!reader because I am biracial and there’s not enough representation of woc in fanfiction.

[i-also-miss-our-talks]

Stoned ~ Connor Murphy x Reader

Requested by Anonymous: I remember reading the beauty and the beast au on here, and I loved it. Could you do a Connor x Reader based on Tangled?

Here it is! Finally! I really hope you like it! Also, the title is a play on words, I guess. Because Rapunzel’s hair can get Tangled, so I thought Connor can get Stoned, you know? Anyways;

WC: 3,036

Warning: Swearing, Weed, Shitty writing, Jokes only I find funny

Masterlist

I tried to make it gender neutral! If you find a male or female pronoun for Y/N, please let me know and I’ll change it ASAP!

This is the story of how I died.

Connor, you didn’t die. Not even close.

But the ending is so bizarre it kinda felt like I died and went to a whole other shitty dimension.

Yeah, this definitely ends weird, but you didn’t die. Just tell the story, okay?

Okay, okay!

—

“Alone at last,” Connor whispered to himself as he shut the door to one of the music hall’s sound rooms. He was about to take the weed out of his pocket when a sharp scream pierced his ears. “What the fuck?!” Connor turned around to see you sitting at the piano for just a second before you threw your physics textbook at his head, proceeding to knock him out and fall against the floor.

It took you a few moments to figure out what you had just done to the poor man. But when you did, you quickly got up and locked the door. “Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh, he’s gonna kill me,” you whispered as you picked up your book. You ran a hand through your hair, trying to figure out what to do.

Connor stirred a bit. You gasped and hit him with your book again. “Y/N! You idiot! You hit him again,” you yelled at yourself and put the book in your bag. You grab Connor and pulled him into a chair. Carefully, you check his pockets to see if he had a water bottle, hoping to splash a bit on his face to wake him up. Instead, your fingers brushed against a plastic bag. You take the bag out of his pocket and widened your eyes at the sight of weed.

Knock, knock

“Y/N? Can you unlock the door? I need to talk with you,” Ms. DeVerre, your choir teacher, said.

You gulped. You tossed the bag of weed into the top of the piano. You pushed Connor and his chair behind the piano and put his hood over his head. You straightened out your hair and opened the door. “Hi, Ms. DeVerre.”

The teacher smiled and walked inside the room. “Hello, Y/N. How’s your vocal practice going?”

“Good, I think. I’ve been practicing really hard,” you smiled. “So, I was wondering, maybe I could skip the rest of practice? I think having two periods of practice along with my lunch is more than enough.”

Ms. DeVerre shook her head. “No. You know what your mother wants. Continue practicing. I’m running out to get some lunch. We’re having Panera! Do you just want your usual?”

You sighed and nodded. “Yeah.”

“Good! I’ll see you later.” And with that, Ms. DeVerre left the room, closing the door behind her.

You quickly locked it before dragging Connor back out. Taking the hood off his head, you continued your search for a water bottle. Luckily, you found one in his bag. You poured a bit into the palm of your hand and splashed it on his face. The boy immediately woke up.

“What? Where am I?” Connor questioned, looking around frantically till he saw you. His eye’s narrowed. “You,” he hissed and stood up, towering over you. “You threw a fucking book at me!”

You nodded. “It was just a reaction! I got scared! I didn’t mean to knock you out!”

“But you fucking did! All I wanted was a space alone and instead I got a book chucked at me!” Connor yelled. Thankfully, the sound room was built so that people outside couldn’t hear what was happening inside. Connor reached into his pocket and widened his eyes when he didn’t feel the plastic bag. “Where is it?”

“Where’s what?” you asked, trying not to look at the piano.

“Where’s my weed?” Connor growled.

“I…I hid it!” You smirked and crossed your arms over your chest, a plan forming in your mind. “I hid somewhere you’ll never find it! Unless, you want to help me with something. Then I can tell you where it is…?”

Connor frowned. “Connor. Connor Murphy. And what might this ‘something’ be?”

You smiled. “Get me out of here. It’s my dream to be out of here! I don’t care where as long as it’s not this sound room. I’ve been in here for so long!”

The long-haired boy laughed. “Yeah, no. I’m not about to break someone out of a sound room which they can just easily walk out of.”

“You don’t understand, it’s a prison. I can’t just leave!”

“Why not?”

“I…well…I can’t tell you. But if you get me out of here, take me anywhere that’s not here, I’ll give you your weed back. Deal?” You held out your hand.

Connor raised an eyebrow at your hand. “So…I just take you away from here and I’ll get my weed? Really?”

“I promise!”

Connor rolled his eyes.

You frowned. “And when I promise something, I never break that promise. Ever.”

The boy sighed and shook your hand lazily. “Fine. It’s a fucking deal.”

Connor started walking down the hallway. “Are you fucking coming or not?”

You gulped and looked down both sides of the hall. “Are you sure she wont see me?” You quickly felt the front pocket of your backpack to see if the bag of weed was still in there.

“Listen, Whitney Houston, I’m the master of stealth. She’s not gonna see you as long as you’re with me,” Connor said and leaned against the wall.

You frowned. “I’m not Whitney Houston. I’m Y/N Y/L/N.”

“Yeah, whatever. I don’t really give a shit who you are. I just want my weed back.”

Slowly, you stepped out the door, clutching your backpack strap. You took a few shaking steps out into the hallway before you burst out grinning. “Oh my gosh! This is amazing! But, Ms. DeVerre and Mom would be so mad.”

Connor raised an eyebrow as you started ranting to yourself and run around the school.

“But, I mean, they’re not gonna know so it’s not gonna matter, right? Oh no, I’m gonna be in so much trouble! But this is so fun! I’m such a horrible child, I’ll just head back. I’m never going back! I’m a despicable human being! Woo hoo! Best! Day! Ever!”

Finally, Connor found you sitting in the library behind a shelf of books. He sat next to you as you sobbed into your knees. “You know, I’m not quite sure what I just witnessed, but it’s one of the saddest fucking things I’ve ever seen.”

You sniffed and looked up at him. “W-what?”

“Now, I’m just trying to pick up on bits and pieces, but this seems like some serious stuff. Maybe you should just head back to the sound room.”

You shook your head as Connor pulled you to your feet. “B-but the deal-“

“Look, if you’re not feeling good about this we’ll just call off the deal. I’ll take you back to the room, you give me my weed, and we pretend like we’ve never met before,” Connor smirked and started dragging you back.

“N-no!” You wiggled out of his grasp. “I’m not going back! I can’t spend another day in there!”

“Oh, come on! You obviously don’t feel comfortable walking around during normal school hours! Just fucking give up!”

“I’m not gonna give up! I’m tired of being locked in there! I-“ You were cut off by the bell ringing, signaling the end of third period. You felt the ground begin to shake. “Uh, Connor? What’s going on?”

Connor frowned. “Passing time.”

You gulped and grabbed Connor’s arm, clinging to it as students flooded the hallways. “What do we do?”

“You run. We wont make it if you don’t run,” Connor said and started running through the busy students, pulling you along.

You tried to keep up, but there were just so many people it was making if difficult to hang onto him. You lost your grip on his arm and felt the students pull you towards the opposite direction. “Connor! Help me!”

The tall boy turned around and grabbed your hand, pulling you both against the hallway wall. He scowled. “This is it, then. There’s no way we can get through them if we’re pinned up like this.”

Sighing, you squeezed Connor’s hand. “I’m sorry I got you in this mess. I’m really, really sorry, Connor.”

Connor sighed. “It’s…It’s okay, Whitney Houston. But, in case something happens, you should know I’m not a school shooter. People just assume I am but I’m fucking not. Someone might as well know.”

You smiled. “Well, I…I have magic hair that glows when I sing.”

Connor’s eyes widened. “Wait what? Are you fucking serious?”

You giggled. “Nope. I just wanted to see your reaction. I actually can’t sing very well. My Mom and her best friend, Ms. DeVerre keep me locked in the sound room, thinking that if I practice enough, my voice will get better and I can make it to Broadway.”

The boy rolled his eyes. “You’re Mom sounds like an ass.”

“Kinda. But she’s still my Mom,” you shrugged and heard the bell go off again. Within a matter of seconds, the hallway cleared, leaving you and Connor alone.

“Well, guess I’m late for class again. Lucky me. You coming?” Connor asked, adjusting the strap on his bag.

You gasped. “I can go to class with you?! Really?!”

Connor rolled his eyes. “Not if you act like that you can’t.”

Nodding, you took a deep breath and calmed down. “Right. Of course. I’ll be calm, I promise.” You skipped along beside him as he trudged to class. “Oh my gosh, I can’t believe this is happening! My dream is becoming reality!” You looked over at Connor. “What about you?”

Connor glared at you. “What the fuck about me?”

“What’s your dream, Connor?”

The boy let out a low laugh. “My dream is to get my fucking weed back.”

You shrugged. “A dream’s a dream, I guess.”

“Y/N, what happened to being calm?”

“Sorry, Connor! It’s just I’m normally locked in the sound room during this hour so I don’t know what people actually do,” you explained, sitting next to him in the back corner of the room, bouncing in your seat. Connor’s class had a sub so he didn’t notice you weren’t a normal student.

“People just shut up and sleep in English. So, you should do the same,” Connor muttered before folding his arms and laying his head on his forearms.

You nodded. “Alright. Okay. I can do this,” you whispered and did as Connor instructed. Before you knew it, you both had fallen asleep.

You woke up by someone lightly shaking your shoulder. “Hey, Whitney Houston. Time to wake the fuck up. School’s over,” Connor yawned. Stretching, you grabbed your bag and followed Connor out the door. He began walking back towards the music hall before you grabbed his arm. “What the hell?”

“I’m not going back there today. Unless you don’t want your weed?” You smirked as Connor rolled his eyes.

“Fine. We have two hours in the city and then I drop you off at home. Got it?” Connor said, walking outside to his beat up truck.

You nodded and skipped next to him. “Got it!” Your smile brightened as you sat in his car. Your dream was finally coming true! You were going somewhere outside of school after school!

Connor started the car and drove off to downtown. He parked his car in the back lot of a Target. “Alright. Two hours. That’s it,” he reminded you before getting out of the car.

Two hours had quickly turned into six, as you two were prancing around the town. Connor first took you to a small cafe to get a snack, but you ended up meeting a bunch of people from school. So Connor hid off to the side, watching you. If he was being honest, it was pretty cute watching your face light up as you talked with your new friends. You two left after a while and walked around. You found a small thrift store and dragged Connor inside. Both of you played a game where you had to make the ugliest outfit. Whoever lost had to wear the outfit for the next round. You two got kicked out for being to loud as you laughed your asses off.

Connor was surprised. He was never this happy to hang with someone, let alone laugh and smile with them. But something about you just brought out the good in him. He didn’t know why, but he wanted to stay with you longer. His weed was no longer a necessity. Connor had a new dream.

After a few more hours of running around town, you two grabbed some Slurpees and went back to Connors truck. You climbed into the back seat and took a sip of your drink as Connor climbed in next to you. The sun had set so you two sat staring up at the stars. You gripped your cup tightly.

“Hey,” Connor said, looking over at you. “You okay?”

“I…don’t know,” you answered. “It’s just…I’ve been stuck practicing in that sound room after school for four years,” you sighed, looking over at him, “dreaming of what it would feel like, just spending a normal afternoon as a teenager. And it was everything I dreamed of and more!”

Connor smiled. “So, what’s the problem?”

“What do I do now?”

“Well, that’s the fun part, I guess. You get to go find a new dream,” Connor said.

You smiled and looked back up at the sky, widening your eyes as a shooting star flew by. “Whoa,” you whispered.

Connor smiled, his eyes stuck on you. “Yeah, whoa.”

You gasped. “Oh! I have something for you!” You jumped out of the trunk and ran to the passenger side. Flinging the door open, you rummaged through the front pocket of your backpack for the plastic bag. You grabbed it, shut the door, and climbed back into the trunk. “Here. This is for you. A deal’s a deal, right?”

Connor shook his head and grabbed the bag, tossing it over his shoulder. “You know what? I can just get some more fucking weed later,” he said. Connor grabbed your hand and looked at you, setting down his Slurpee.

Your eyes widened and you felt your heart rate pick up. “Connor?”

The boy cupped your cheek before leaning forward, stopping just an inch away from your lips.

You smiled and leaned forward, connecting your lips. The kiss was The Three S’s; soft, sweet, and short. Before you knew it, Connor had pulled away. You whimpered softly at the loss of his touch, but leaned back a bit. You licked your lips, tasting his cherry Slurpee that lingered there.

Connor stared at you before coughing awkwardly. “Well, I, uh, guess it’s time to drive you back to your shitty home, huh?”

You nodded and grabbed your drink, hopping out of the trunk and climbing into the passenger seat.

The ride back was silent except for the sound of Connor brushing his thumb over the top of your intertwined hands.

The next day, your Mom came to school with you, making sure you were in the sound room before leaving.

“No! Ms. DeVerre please don’t make me stay in here! I don’t want to go to Broadway now! I just want to be normal,” you begged, banging on the door, though you knew no one could hear you.

You sighed and sat against the back wall, tucking your legs into your chest. “Connor, please. If you can hear me, come save me again,” you whispered.

There was a single knock on the door before your Mom’s friend walked in. “Y/N, you need to start practicing! You’re never gonna make it to Broadway if you’re not practicing twenty-four seven,” Ms. DeVerre said.

You frowned and pulled your knees closer. “I’m not singing. I’m not going to Broadway. Well, not right now, at least. I just want to be a normal teenager.” Just then, the door flew open, reveling a tired Connor Murphy. “Y/N!”

You smiled brightly. “Connor!” You tried to run to him, but Ms. DeVerre grabbed your arm. “Let go of me!”

The choir teacher frowned. “Y/N, this is not an option. You’re leaving for an audition tonight so get practicing.”

“No!” You struggled to break free of her grasp. You looked to Connor, your face asking for help. He nodded and ran off. “What the fuck, Connor?!”

“Y/N! Stop fighting me,” Ms. DeVerre yelled.

“No! I wont stop! You and Mom have kept me locked up in here for too long! So every minute for the rest of my life I will fight!” You finally ripped your arm out of her grasp. “You two can’t control me!”

“Y/N!” You turned around and saw Connor run through the door. He grabbed you and pulled you to the side as the Principal and two teachers ran into the room. Connor hugged you as you two watched Ms. DeVerre get escorted out of the room by the adults. You look up at him in confusion. “Your Mom and Ms. DeVerre keeping you here and forcing you to fucking sing is technically Child Abuse. Weird, but true. I don’t make the fucking rules. So you’re free, I guess.”

You smiled and hugged him tightly. “Thank you, Connor.”

Connor kissed the top of you’re head. “Yeah, whatever. Hey, Y/N?”

“Hmm?”

Connor sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “This is gonna sound so fucking cheesy, but…you were my new dream or whatever.”

You giggled. “And you were mine, Connor.”

Well, you can imagine what happened next. Y/N enrolled in school full time and somehow managed to get most classes with me. To be honest, it can be really fucking annoying sometimes.

Connor.

Okay, okay. It really never gets old. And I may have paid Kleinman to hack into Y/N’s schedule so that most classes were with me.

And we lived happily ever after!

Wow, that escalated pretty fucking quickly.

You’re not denying it.

That’s cause it’s true.

[dear-alex-fanfic-blog]

May I please ask for sincerely three and trans male reader headcanons? You don't have to of course

yES OF COURSE I LOVE AND RELATE 

evan –

-         when you come out to him, he doesn’t know muchabout the trans community, but he’s such a supportive boy!!

-         devotes somuch time to learning everything about your identity and how to make youfeel the most comfortable that he possibly can

-         switches from calling you ‘beautiful’ to‘handsome’ literally within the next hour of you coming out

-         tries his absolute hardest to use your correctname and pronouns

-         will fight anyone who purposefully doesn’t

-         he gets you a binder after hearing you say thatit was a potential option, and makes sure that you know how to use it so youdon’t hurt yourself ((if you choose to bind irl, please be safe!!))

-         sends you texts to remind you to stretch andtake a deep breath

-         ‘heyhandsome!! don’t forget to stretch: it’s been about two hours since you put yourbinder on’

-         ‘babe ilybut we’re in biography. you need to pay attention

-         feeling dysphoric?? he will cuddle you and tellyou how wonderful and handsome you are and that nothing could ever change that

connor –

-         coming out to him was easy because he knows a lot about most trans* identities becausehe has a lot of trans friends

-         lets you borrow his clothes because a.) he knowsthat you want to try a more masculine style and b.) you look really good inthem

-         he is pretty much your personal masculine styleicon

-         this is really just part of his ploy to get youto start wearing all black

-         lets you borrow his cologne and body wash too

-         when you start telling people at school, hestands next to you for “moral support”

-         which really means he’s just there to give themintimidating looks so they don’t even thinkabout disrespecting your identity

-         two gays in love

jared –

-         gets v excited for you because he’s so proud ofhis boyfriend finding out who he is!!

-         cracks jokes to make the situations a littlemore lighthearted

-         “nice! this means that when i have the other twoover and we’re drinking I’ll be cracking a cold one open with the boys!”

-         “I literally hate you.”

-         “i love you too, (your preferred name).”

-         shares a little bit about his own experiencewith gender identity (because I hc him as genderfluid lol) and completelyunderstands how you feel

-         loves you endlessly

[queenshelby]

My Friend’s Father (Part Seven)

Pairing: Cillian Murphy x Reader

Warning: Age Gap, Smut

Words: 4,498

Notes:

I have decided to make this into a series.

Alright, no judgment. This was a dream of mine and I felt like I had to write it down. Everyone in this Fic is over the age of 18 and this Fic is in no way based on Cillian’s real family life. It’s pure filth.

*********

Throughout the entire night, you couldn’t help but think about Cillian. You dreamed about the kiss you shared, the touch of his hands on your face and even the scent of his skin.

You knew you shouldn’t think this way about your best friend’s father but it was something you couldn’t control even though you were angry with him.

But there was one person you who you were even more angry with and this was Connor, the man you were actually dating.

You got up early that morning to confront Connor about his behaviour at the art gallery opening and the truth was that you were pretty much done with him. You never had feelings for him in the first place and the truth was that he had simply become a distraction for you. You wanted to distract yourself from having taken a liking in your best friend’s father which, in itself, you knew was wrong.

Connor embarrassed you in front of your friends and Cillian was right when he said that he was acting controlling, even though you didn’t want to hear it, especially not from him.

You knew you had to end it and you knew that it wasn’t going to be a difficult task for you. You had always been a strong woman and you didn’t want to be with someone like that and, just when you arrived at Connor’s house you took a deep breath and did what had to be done.

‘It’s your loss Y/N’ were his words when you eventually left his house after a ten minute conversation but you didn’t feel like you had lost anything. In fact, you’ve gained something and that was experience in standing up for yourself.

***

Just after you encounter with Connor that morning, you went to have breakfast with Denise and her friends at the G Hotel in Galway.

They were all staying at the five-star hotel, courtesy of Denise’s father who had organised the weekend for Denise for her birthday and as a reward for her achievements after she had worked so hard on her project.

‘Happy Birthday’ you said as you greeted her and the others and Denise immediately told you off for being too loud as her head was pounding. It was obvious to you that she was rather hungover from the night the before.

‘You had too much champaign, huh?’ you giggled before handing her the present you had bought for her.

You usually didn’t spend much money on each other for birthdays but, since she was your best friend, you had spent a few hours’ worth in wages and gotten her something meaningful.

She was collecting vintage tea-cups and you had recently found a beautiful Royal Dalton set in a second-hand shop which you knew she would adore.

‘This is absolutely beautiful, thank you so much’ Denise said as she unwrapped it before hugging you gently.

‘You are welcome. I knew you would like it’ you said with a warm smile and, just as you did and sat down next to her, your mobile phone went off.

You received a text message from a number that was unfamiliar to you and when you opened it, you were none the wiser.

‘It was good to see you’ the message said and you were rather confused by it. You had some job interviews recently and wondered whether this was sent by one of the interviewers. Or perhaps someone from university, you wondered?

‘What is it?” Denise asked as she saw the look of confusion on your face when you glanced at your phone.

‘Someone just send me a message saying that it was good to see me’ you chuckled before explaining to her that you didn’t know the number.

‘Maybe it is this guy from university you were talking about a few weeks back? You know, the lecturer in the science department?’ Denise wondered before suggesting to you that you should text back and ask for a name, but you already knew it wouldn’t be him. There was no way he would have your number and you certainly were no longer interested in getting to know him after you had found out that he was married.

You texted back to the unknown number, enquiring who this was and, within a couple of seconds, your phone went off again and you almost choked on your coffee.

‘Cillian’ the message read and you quickly changed the angle of your phone so that Denise wouldn’t see it.

‘And? Who is it?’ she asked while trying to look at your phone.

‘Uhm…just a guy I met a few weeks ago…I ran into him again yesterday morning and I totally forgot about it…’ you stammered quickly but Denise didn’t buy a word you were saying.

‘You forgot?’ she giggled, winking at you as she did and your cheeks blushed almost instantly. ‘Well, he obviously didn’t and you must have given him your number for a reason. Is he hot? What’s he like? I need to know everything…’ she went on to say as, suddenly, without you haven’t sent anything back to Cillian, you received yet another text message from him.

‘For what its’s worth, you looked beautiful’ the next text read and you couldn’t help but smile as you continued to sip on your cup of coffee and Denise most certainly noticed the look on your face and asked you what he said.

‘Just that I looked nice’ you stammered, feeling awful about lying to her about who texted you but there was no way that you could have told her that it was, in fact, her father who you were texting with.

‘Uh, he likes you’ Denise then giggled before carrying on. ‘Well, since you ditched Connor now, you should go and meet up with him and have some fun. After Connor’s one-off ten-minute performance, I have no doubt that you really need it’ Denise said and, just as she did, the conversation across the breakfast table took a turn. Like so often, it now was all about sex and you realised that dissatisfaction was a common occurrence in women your age.

‘I believe that the whole talk about the female g-spot is load of rubbish. It’s a myth’ Amalie observed eventually after everyone across the table complained about the lovers that they had.

It was at this point that you mentally checked out from the conversation and, whilst you thought about the one pleasurable experience you had in your life when it came to sex, you certainly didn’t want to talk about it in front of Denise. Especially not Denise.

Instead of engaging in talks about vibrators and the male anatomy, you decided to respond to Cillian’s text messages after you had received yet another one, telling you that he was sorry. Clearly, he was desperate to hear from you.

‘I see, you kept my note?’ you responded quickly, ignoring his compliments and apologies, and, just moments after you sent it, you received a response from him.

‘Kept it in my wallet. Can we meet?’ Cillian asked and you couldn’t help but roll your eyes just before you received yet another message from him which read ‘BTW this is not a booty call. I just want to talk with you. Please.’

His message made you laugh but you agreed to meet him nonetheless.

‘I have an apartment at the Docks. Can you come there?’ Cillian asked in his next text message.  

‘Alright. How does 4 o’clock sound? Text me your address’ you texted back and it wasn’t long until Cillian sent you the address of his apartment.

‘And?’ Denise asked as she watched you text with the mysterious stranger and you simply blushed again and responded with a short and somewhat embarrassed ‘nothing’.

‘Oh common, tell me Y/N. I am your best friend’ she then said and you confirmed that you would quickly meet up with him this afternoon before Denise’s birthday dinner.

‘Oh la la, you are having a date’ Denise then said somewhat excitedly.

‘We are just catching up to talk Denise. It’s not a date’ you then said.

‘Sure…whatever you say Y/N’ she then said sarcastically which is when, finally, she backed off and you received yet another text message from Cillian.

‘Looking forward to see you, xx’ it read and your heart skipped a beat pretty much then and there.

***

After you went home to have a shower and get changed into some nice jeans and a black shirt as well as some nice lingerie (just in case) you made your way to Cillian’s apartment.

You parked around the corner and walked the rest of the way just to be sure that no one would see your car being parked there.

‘Jesus’ you said somewhat surprised when you walked into the lobby of the apartment building and took the elevator to the top floor after Cillian had buzzed you inside. You had never been to a building like this. It was luxurious and right on the harbour.

When you arrived on the top floor, Cillian already waited for you, glancing through the door of his apartment.

‘Wow, these are some good views. Do you own this place?’ you observed as you stepped inside and set your purse on the desk by the door.

‘Yeah, bought it a few years ago’ Cillian said as you began to shrug off your jacket, but Cillian came up from behind you, and caught your hands. You looked down at your hands, noticing that yours dwarfed in his. They were warm and soft.

‘Let me take this for you’ he said like a gentleman and you were somewhat surprised by his gesture. This was not something you were used to but you liked it, a lot.

‘You know, I didn’t expect that you would text me, especially not after last night. So, what is it that you want to talk about?’ you asked nervously and, just as you did, Cillian cut straight to the chase.

‘I wanted to tell you, in person, that I am sorry about last night. I shouldn’t have lectured you about this guy who you are seeing and the truth is that, yes, I was jealous and I know that I had no right to be jealous and for that I am also sorry. I should have acted differently, especially knowing that you are my daughter’s best friend’ he admitted just before you cut him off.

‘Well, for what its worth, I ended it with Connor this morning because I think you were right about him’ you said with a nervous smile, causing Cillian to cock an eyebrow.

‘I can’t say that I am not happy about that’ he said jokingly before continuing on. ‘But, regardless of this, I think that we need to talk about how we move forward from what happened between us for Denise’s sake’ he then said, causing you to nod.

‘Yeah’ you then said somewhat disappointed before building up your strength in order to say something else. ‘The thing is, Cillian, I know what I want. I just think that you don’t’ you said, cheeks blushing.

‘And what is that you want Y/N?’ Cillian asked curiously as if he didn’t already know the answer to his question.

‘You’ you then admitted and, just as you did, Cillian’s hands caressed your face and he pulled you close and kissed you yet again.

The kiss was slow and passionate and, unlike the night before, you allowed yourself to give into it until, eventually, your lips drifted apart.

‘Are you sure Y/N? Because, I am much older than you and you probably have better offers with more assurances that I simply cannot offer you’ Cillian then asked as he was standing directly in front of you and held you against his body.

‘The fact that you are older actually turns me on’ you admitted before pressing your lips onto his again and then pulling away. You adored his wrinkles and greying hair and you were surprised that he had no idea how attractive he actually was.

‘But what is it that you want Cillian?’ you then asked as you felt his firm chest against you while his warm breath fanned against your neck, sending shivers down your spine.

‘Honestly, I don’t know Y/N. I have never been so fucking confused in my life’ he explained reluctantly, not knowing where to place the feelings he had built for you. You were over twenty years younger than him and his daughter’s friend and this clearly bothered him. He knew that this wasn’t something he could easily overcome.

‘Well, I am confused too but I like you, a lot’ you admitted, also unsure about what this was that you were feeling for him but, what you knew was that you wanted to give whatever this was a chance. You were curious and you were filled with desire for this man standing there right in front of you.

‘And I need to know that you feel the same and that this isn’t going to be just another mistake you are making because, if you are going to walk away after we have sex, then I am not up for it’ you then explained, wanting to ensure that he wouldn’t pull away from you this time.

‘No more mistakes Y/N. I like you and I want this’ Cillian whispered as he pressed his lips firmly right under your ear, slowly kissing down your neck.

‘I want you’ he then said as his breath tickled your skin and the firmness of his kiss made your stomach flip.

‘Then that’s good enough for me’ you huffed out in a laboured breath and just, as you did, Cillian used his hands to spin you around, causing you to face away from him.

Then, his hands dropped to your waist where his fingers gently edged themselves under the hem of your shirt, barely touching your skin. His lips moved, and he left a trail of kisses down your shoulder and towards your arm.

‘I knew this was a booty call’ you teased as you couldn't help but move against him.

‘Do you want to stop?’ he asked as your hips rocked and shifted while he gently brushed his fingers against your skin.

‘Hell no’ you giggled before you lifted your arms and he began to pull your shirt up.

You felt like you were performing some secret dance that we both knew, but that you'd never realised you'd known.

Cillian lifted your shirt inch at a time up off you, and let it fall to the floor. He sighed in satisfaction as he looked down at your breasts.

‘Why are you so fucking perfect?’ Cillian asked and you opened your mouth to answer but it came out as a sigh as his hands tightened around your waist.

‘Let’s take this off’ Cillian said determined as one of his hands inched up towards your breast, and he squeezed it gently. Then, his hands came away from you, and unsnapped your bra.

You practically shook it off of you, and then dropped your hands to your jeans. You needed his hands back on you again as soon as possible and turned to watch him as you kicked your shoes off and shoved down your jeans, your underwear coming with them.

‘Eager, are we?’ Cillian chuckled as he quickly began to undress himself as well after you had given him a look full of hunger and anticipation.

‘We are short of time’ you said as you were momentarily distracted by the sight of him unbuttoning his shirt, but you hurried to kick off the fabric wrapped around your ankles.

‘We’ve got at least two and a half hours Y/N’ Cillian then said as you finally stood there in front of him completely naked.

‘Exactly’ you chuckled as Cillian was still fighting with the buttons on his shirt, and you grabbed the fabric of it and pulled him against you, crushing your mouth against his.

Cillian made love to your mouth with his lips and his tongue. He was firm, slow, and demanding.

You breathed together, tasted together. He dragged a soft moan from your mouth with a caress of his lips. He explored you, letting his tongue run along the roof of your mouth. Your teeth crashed. He sucked your tongue into his mouth, and your stomach clenched and you let out an embarrassingly desperate sound.

Before your first night with Cillian, you'd never been kissed like this. The kisses you shared were more intimate and more sensual than anything you'd ever experienced in your life.

As you were kissing, you finally managed to unbutton his shirt and shoved it open. Your hands ran up and down his chest, exploring his toned body all the while he was relentless in his kiss. His arms wrapped around you, one hand pressing into the small of your back, and the other working his fingers into your hair.

With a small tug of your hair, he pulled your face away from him.

‘I could kiss you all day Y/N, but you said that we are short of time so you better get onto the bed’ he winked and you snaked your arms around his neck and kissed him while he walked you back into his bedroom and towards the bed.

As you were moving towards the bed, he fought with his belt and his pants all while his lips never left yours.

You shuffled awkwardly backwards until the backs of your knees hit the bed, forcing you to sit down. You kept your arms behind you to prop yourself up, smiling as you watched him finish undressing. He was just gorgeous and so goddamn perfect.

‘You are so sexy, you know that?’ you said full of desire while you watched as he pushed his pants down, kicking them off his ankles and standing in front of you completely naked, and... Sweet. Baby. Jesus…your mouth watered at the sight of his hard cock.

‘So are you’ he winked and, just as he did, you met his eyes again after having stared at his cock for a little while. That terrifying intense stare was back, and he looked like he was going to eat you alive. For all you knew, he would.

Without breaking eye contact, Cillian bent down and went to his knees at the foot of the bed, grabbed your legs, and pulled you closer to him, spreading your legs wide as he did so.

‘Lay back’ he ordered and you couldn’t help but bite your lip in anticipation.

‘What are you going to do to me?’ you asked as he was still staring at you. A slow smile graced his face.

‘I am going to make love to you with my tongue until you cum’ Cillian smirked and the idea of his face between your legs made your breath catch.

‘Oh, Sweet Jesus’ you moaned as he let go of one of your legs and put a hand on your shoulder. He pushed you back and then he lowered his lips to you.

Sweet bliss washed over you in an instant. You gasped, and moaned, and shivered. Cillian lapped at you like you were the sweetest treasure he'd ever put in his mouth. A slow, deep rumble from his chest travelled straight into your body through his lips, shaking you to your core. His tongue dove inside you, exploring you. He sucked on the lips of your sex, and the circled his tongue around your clit, sending powerful shocks of pleasure straight to your centre.

He was building you up to something big. Something beautiful.

He eased off right before you exploded, and you cried out.

‘Cillian, don't stop, please’ you moaned and, just as you began to plead with him, his fingers began to gently run through your wet slit.

‘Don’t worry, I won’t’ he said as he slowly pushed two of his fingers inside you before his tongue resumed its work on your clit.

Curling his fingers slightly upwards, he reached an unfamiliar spot deep inside you and, as soon as he reached this spot, you cried out in pleasure.

‘Oh god, fuck, Cillian’ you moaned as his fingers began to gently thrust in and out of you while he made love to you with his tongue.

With his skilled tongue and fingers working you, it didn’t take you long to reach an orgasm. Your legs began to shake almost violently as a wave of pleasure erupted through your body and your walls tightened around Cillian’s fingers.

When you finally came down from your high, Cillian stood up, pushed his hands against your hips, and slid you farther onto the bed.

‘You sound so fucking sexy when you cum like this, without having to hold back’ Cillian observed as he climbed onto the bed. He crawled towards you like a wolf stalking his prey.

‘I want you inside me, please…I am aching for your cock’ you moaned, spurring him on and, without losing any time he spread your legs wide and pressed the head against your slit, gently working the tip in and out, teasing you.

‘Oh god, please, stop teasing’ you whimpered, trying to wiggle against him. You wanted to feel all of him so badly.

‘Be patient, we will get there’ he whispered, and leaned forward so his arms were on either side of your face.

You felt him push a little deeper into you.

‘Oh god yes’ you gasped and winced and Cillian tilted his head and took your mouth with his, kissing you slowly as he rocked in and out. His lips and his tongue matched the pace of his thrusts, and you felt overwhelmed with desire as he slid deeper and deeper inside of you.

‘Fuck you feel so good Y/N’ Cillian groaned as he stretched you and pushed you until he was all the way in, and he pulled his mouth away from yours just long enough to let out a string of curses before he took your mouth again.

You couldn't breathe. Everything about him was amazing. The way he felt inside you was just perfect.

He held your head firmly in place as he kissed you, thrusting into you and grinding his hips so that he hit every single spot you didn't even know you had. Right as you were nearing your climax, he pulled all the way out and pushed himself off of you, pausing to catch his breath.

‘No…don’t stop…I was so close’ you whimpered.

‘Don’t worry, I am not done with you yet but I do enjoy teasing you’ he gasped and you could tell that he enjoyed edging you which is something no other man you have been with had ever done to you before. Unlike them, Cillian had amazing self-control which you thought might come with age.

Almost an hour later, after he edged you numerous times and made you change positions on several occasions, you ended up with Cillian on top of you once again. He slid back inside you, resuming his relentless pace. With every thrust, he ground his pelvis against your clit, and with only a few careful movements of his hips, you exploded in pleasure around him. There was no way you could have held back any longer as waves of heat and ice crashed onto you, and you fought to breathe through the intensity of your orgasm.

‘Fuck Y/N’ Cillian groaned shortly thereafter, feeling your walls contract around his shaft. He collapsed forward onto you, and you could feel him pulsing inside you and filling you with rope after rope of his warm cum.

You loved the feeling of him cuming inside you and his breath was hot against your neck, and he kissed your neck and your mouth again as he pulled back and out of you, giving you a chance to breathe.

***

‘Cillian’ you whispered, barely able to speak even after five minutes had passed since you came down from your high.

‘Yes Beautiful?’ he said, and moved slightly so he could wrap his lips around your nipple. He sucked and tongued at it, and pulled at it with his teeth.

‘Careful’ you laughed, and shifted under him slightly. ‘I’m super sensitive now’ you said.

‘I certainly hope so’ he murmured. ‘Although, I am not done with you yet. We still have an hour before dinner’ he smirked and your eyes widened immediately.

‘Oh really?’ you asked surprised and, when you looked down on him, you noticed that his cock was already hardening again just after a short five minutes of relaxation.

‘Really’ Cillian then chuckled as he rolled you onto your stomach, spreading your legs and crouching behind you.

Without losing any time, he lined himself up with your entrance and pushed back inside of you, eliciting a loud groan.

After doing you from behind for what felt like forever, he'd hauled you up into his lap and made love to you with his arms around you and our foreheads pressed together. You'd watched his eyes widen and roll back in his head as he came inside you again just after you reached your own high as well.

He then kissed you as he slowly pulled out of you, and then carried you in his arms like a bride into the bathroom where he'd showered you, washed your hair and your body, and treated you to another mind-blowing orgasm with his fingers.

‘I am fucking sore Cillian’ you huffed out as you were standing in front of the mirror and retouched your make up with a white towel wrapped around your body. You had only limited supplies with you in your handbag but were somewhat lucky that Denise had kept a few items in one of the bathrooms in the three-bedroom apartment.

‘I am sorry’ he then said as he stepped behind you and applied some more aftershave before kissing your neck.

‘Are you?’ you asked, looking back at him before pressing a gentle kiss on his lips.

‘Not really’ he then smirked before buttoning up his shirt.

You knew that you couldn’t arrive at the dinner together and, after you got ready, you decided to walk to the restaurant first so that Cillian would allow you a ten-minute head start.

But walking was difficult in itself and Cillian had a slight chuckle when he watched you waddle out of his apartment.

Your core was stinging but it was defiantly worth it.

   Tag List:

@lilymurphy03@deefigs @theflamecrystal @desperate-and-broken @weepingstudentfishhorse @livinginfantaxy @rosey1981 @atomicsoulcollecto @peakyboyslover @nerdy4itall@elenavampire21 @hanster1998@mariapaiva13 @fairypitou @harry-is-your-sunflower @zozeebo @lauren-raines-x @kasaikawa @littlewierdalien @sad-huffle-nerd @theflamecrystal @peakymalfoyscullymulder @themissthang@0ghostwriter0 @stylescanbeatmyback @1-800-peakyblinders @datewithgianni @momoneymolife @ntmynouis @lilymurphy03 @mcntsee@cloudofdisney@missymurphy1985 @peakymalfoyscullymulder @otterly-fey @janelongxox @uchihacumdump @basiclassy @being-worthy @chaotic-bean-of-smolness @margoo0 @chocolatehalo @vhscillian @ysmmsy @littlewierdalien @crazymar15  @stickyknightflowerbailiff @im-constantly-fangirling @goldensunflowe-r  @tellingyouastory  @captivatedbycillianmurphy​  @namelesslosers​  @littlewhiterose​  @ttzamara​  @ttzamara @cilleveryone  ​

@peaky-cillian​

@severewobblerlightdragon​  @ysmmsy​  

[yourfriendlyneighbourhoodlosers]

Fandoms I write/draw for(+ masterlist and request rules)[UPDATED RULES]

REQUEST RULES

1, I have my requests on anon if you would like, but please let me know your age so I don’t feel uncomfortable writing(or drawing) NSFW for a certain character.

2, Due to comfort reasons, both Mod Daniel and Mod David will not be writing NSFW.

3, I will NOT write Inc*st, P*dophilia, Non-con, Non con Somnophilia, Zooph*lia, M*rder, Su*c*de of a character, or homo/transphobia. 

4, Same rules from above go for my art.

5, No hate on my art please

6, DO NOT INTERACT WITH VENT POSTS

Check out my carrd!

Mod Applications!

FANDOMS

Good Omens

DR1

DR2

DR3

MCU

Hamilton

Dear Evan Hansen

Hannibal

KPOP

MCYT

Slashers

Bands

Kakegurui

Heathers

MASTERLIST

DR1

+Makoto Naegi+

+Kyoko Kirigiri+

+Leon Kuwata+

+Toko Fuwaka/Genocider Syo+

+Celestia Ludenburg+

+Mondo Oowada+

+Kiyotaka Ishimaru+

+Byakuya Togami+

+Chihiro Fujisaki+

DR2

+Monomi+

+Akane Owari+

+Hajime Hinata+

+Chiaki Nanami+

+Gundham Tanaka+

+Hiyoko Saionji+

+Ibuki Mioda+

+Mikan Tsumiki+

+Nagito Komeda+

DR3

+Kokichi Ouma+

+Miu Iruma+

+Shuichi Saihara+

+Rantaro Amami+

+Kaede Akamatsu+

+K1-B0+

+Maki Harukawa+

+Korekiyo Shinguji+

+Gonta Gokuharu+

+Kirumi Tojo+

GOOD OMENS

+Crowley+

+Aziraphale+

+Beezlebub+

+Gabriel+

MCU

+Tony Stark+

+Steve Rogers+

+Bucky Barnes+

+Peter Parker+

+Pietro Maximoff+

+Stephen Strange+

+Hela+

+Thor Odinson+

+Jennifer Walters+

+Loki Laufeyson+

+Wanda Maximoff+

HAMILTON

+Alexander Hamilton+

+John Laurens+

+Thomas Jefferson+

+James Madison+

+Elizabeth Schuyler+

+Angelica Schuyler+

+Margarita Schuyler+

+James Reynolds+

+George Washington+

+Charles Lee+

+Samuel Seabury+

+Philip Hamilton+

+Marquis De Lafayette+

DEAR EVAN HANSEN

+Mark Evan Hansen+

+Connor Murphy+

+Zoe Murphy+

+Jared Kleinman+

+Alana Beck+

HANNIBAL

+Hannibal Lector+

+Will Graham+

+Alana Bloom+

+Freddie Lounds+

+Abigail Hobbs+

+Jack Crawford+

+Frederick Chilton+

+Beverly Katz+

KPOP

+BTS+

+EXO+

+Zico+

+BLACKPINK+

+MAMAMOO+

MCYT(If anyone in this list is uncomfy with fanfic, do not hesitate to let me know. P.S. No NSFW will be written for Tommy, Dream, Fundy, and Tubbo)

+Fundy+

+Technoblade+

You’ll Always Be Pog in my Book

+Dream+

+Tommyinnit+

+GeorgeNotFound+

+Wilbur/Ghostbur+

+Tubbo+

+Jschlatt+

SLASHERS

+Brahms Heelshire+ (Brahms: The Boy)

+Micheal Myers+ (The Halloween Franchise)

+Jason Voorhees+ (The Friday the 13th Franchise)

+Norman Bates+ (The Psycho Franchise)

+Billy Chapman+ (The Silent Night,Deadly Night Franchise)

+Stu Macher & Billy Loomis+ (The Original Ghostface Killers)

+John Kramer+ (The Saw Franchise)

+Freddy Krueger+ (The Nightmare on Elm Street Franchise)

+Charles Lee Ray+ (The Chucky Franchise)

+Damien Thorn+ (The Omen)

+Sweeney Todd+ (Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street)

+Harry Warden+ (My Bloody Valentine)

+Jennifer Check+(Jennifer’s Body)

+Jason Dean+(Heathers)

+Jack Torrance+(The Shining)

+Vincent Sinclair+(House of Wax)

+Jack+ (The House That Jack Built)

BANDS

+Gerard Way+(My Chemical Romance)

+Frank Iero+(My Chemical Romance)

+Adam Gontier+(Three Days Grace)

+Patrick Stump+(Fall Out Boy)

KAKEGURUI(We barely write x male reader for Kakegurui, but you can request it, just know we might not do it)

+Mary Saotome+

+Runa Yomozuki+

+Midari Ikishima+

+Kirari Momobami+

+Kaede Manyuda+

+Yumemi Yumemite+

HEATHERS

+Jason Dean+

+Veronica Sawyer+

+Heather McNamara+

K-DRAMAS

+Go Yoo-han+(Color Rush)

+Choi Yeon-woo+(Color Rush)

+Jeong Joo-haeng+(Color Rush)

T-DRAMAS

+Shi Yi Jie+(HIStory 2)

+Fei Sheng Zhe+(HIStory 2)

C-DRAMAS

+Wei Wuxan+(The Untamed)

Wei Ying(Wei Wuxan) with a reader with tattoos

+Lan Wangji+(The Untamed)

[babyspiderling]

LINDSEY’S MASTERLIST

Request list

Star Wars:

Anakin Skywalker/ Darth Vader

Darth Vader x Diabetic!Reader

Anakin Skywalker Headcanons

Darth Vader x Spy!Reader

Darth Vader x healer!reader

Obi-Wan Kenobi

Luke Skywalker

Luke Skywalker x reader wedding

Luke Skywalker x Hanahaki!reader Angst

Han Solo

Kylo Ren/ Ben Solo

Kylo Ren x Princess Reader

Ben Solo x Reader, High School AU

Poe Dameron

Poe x Rebelspy!Reader 

Break-up and Make-up Poe Dameron x Reader

Finn

Matt The Radar Technician

Armitage Hux

Armitage Hux x Male reader Headcanons

Marvel:

Bucky Barnes

Steve Rogers

Peter Parker

“Don’t hold your breathe” Peter Parker x reader angst

“Hearts Far From Home” Peter Parker x reader series

Loki Laufeyson

Theatre:

Jack Kelly (Newsies)

Jack Kelly x Baker!Reader

Jack Kelly x reader angst

Jack Kelly x Reader, Marry You

Morris Delancey (Newsies)

Connor Murphy (DEH)

Jeremy Heere (BMC)

Michael Mell (BMC)

Thomas Jefferson 

Lafayette 

Stranger Things:

Steve Harrington

“Control” Steve Harrington x reader

Jonathan Byers

Billy Hargrove

80′s People:

Ted “Theodore” Logan

Marty Mcfly

Michael Jackson

The Moonwalker and the Time-Traveler Prologue

Tiny Dancer        p.2

Up to Interpretation

The Captain and his Sergeant

Little Red Corvette       p.2

David Bowie

Harry Potter:

Remus Lupin

Sirius Black

Severus Snape

Harry Potter

Ron Weasley

Cedric Diggory

A Little Early

Bill Weasley

Fred Weasley

George Weasley

Draco Malfoy

Hermione Granger

Yule Ball Anxieties

Miscellaneous: 

Daveed Diggs

Under The Lights

Circles, Angst

Johan Johnson

Fool-ish In Love

Last Update 4/27/2021

[coldbrewreaper]

The Missing Medication

Title: The Missing Medication Pairing: Connor Murphy x Male!Reader Genere: ANGST! CW/TW: homophobia, slurs (which i can reclaim), bullying, suicide attempt, blood Summary: Connor attempts suicide after the bullying that came with being outed at school.

Your relationship with Connor was almost perfect. He was respectful, romantic even. He treated you like glass that would shatter if he even looked at it too harshly. The only problem you had was that Connor wasn’t out to his family; or anyone, for that matter. So he kept everthing that happened behind the scenes a secret. Until that fateful day. Connor walked into school, the stares shouldn’t be bothering him as he had gotten used to them, but it felt... off. He lifted his head up from the floor and looked around. This time was different. Instead of the occasional glare from one or two students every few meters, it was everyone. Everyone was looking at Connor. When he was temporarily caught off guard, he ran into Chad Beckman, the fucking prick. He slammed the long haired boy against the nearest locker with a BOOM.  “You’re a faggot, Murphy. We knew all along.” Connor’s life seemed to drain from his face. “What..?” He softly asked. Chad pulled his phone from his pocket and showed him the picture that had been spread around the school. His eyes widened as his breath seemed to get stuck in his throat. The picture was a photo of him and you, kissing each other goodbye in front of your doorstep. Someone seemed to have seen you and taken a picture, and spread it around the school. Connor stared at the picture in horror. Who could have taken this? Then he realized who lived right beside you. Evan- motherfucking- Hansen.

Connor got back to himself when he felt a stinging sensation against his cheek, and his head hitting the lockers. Chad pulled his fist back. “Listen to me, fag.” He made effort to really pronounce the slur as he started, “We don’t like people like you. I don’t want a pillow princess of a man in my school, do you hear me? Same goes for L/n.” Connor ignored the small cut on his cheek that was starting to really hurt at this point. Instead he got furious. “If you touch a hair on M/n’s body I will end your life.” He threated, but Chad didn’t feel the intimidation soak through him as much as Connor had wanted him to. Chad chuckled and swung at Connor again. The tall boy closed his eyes and waited for impact that never came. Instead he hear a loud smack and a grunt, then a body fall to the floor. Connor opened his eyes to see you on the floor, his your lip busted and gushing with blood. He pushed Chad away in panic with strength he didn’t know he had. He fell on his knees next to you and inspected your wounded face.  “Why did you do that, M/n?” But you didn’t reply. You simply stood up, pulling Connor with you and running out with his hand still in yours. He followed; it’s not like he had a choice. You ran out of school as quickly as you had entered the building that day, scared of the next one.

You and Connor spent the rest of that day patching each other up, thinking about the future, and a lot of crying in each other’s arms, and ended in cuddles. You planned the future would have to go after that day, and after a little hesitation, Connor agreed. 

The days got worse after that incident.

The whispers turned to things being thrown, screams, homophobic songs on the bus, physical and mental violence.

It went on for a month, until Connor didn’t show up to school. 

Worried, you waited the whole day for him to show as you felt the paper hit the back of your head. But he didn’t.

As you walked home from your tutor, you felt your phone vibrate in your pocket. It was Connor. You tried to shield your phone from the rain and the coldness as you read his text.

Connie hey m/n. sorry that i was a no-show today. must’ve sucked by yourself. i’m sorry you didn’t get to see me for a last time.

Confused, you watched the “Connie is typing...” pop up and away a few times.

Connie you see, i love you. and i don’t regret anything i’ve ever had with you, i need you to hear and understand that. i just... i can’t stand it anymore, m/n.

Having a feeling where this is going, your heart started racing as you typed in: N/n Connor. Where are you?

Connie i can’t stand the abuse anymore. i had to do something.

Your heart dropped at this.

N/n What did you do?

You watched the chat bubble pop up and disappear a bunch of times before a text finally arrived.

Connie i took every single pill in my med cabinet

Tears welled in your eyes as you felt your soul leave your body.

N/n Where the fuck are you? Connor? Where are you???? Honey, please. Connie By the tree. Come say good bye, please.

You knew exactly which tree he meant. It was the oak tree, your favorite spot. Pocketing your phone, you started running, not caring if it would fall out. The 30 minute way you ran in 15, scared for your boy’s life. You crossed the street, almost being hit by a car, but you didn’t care. You didn’t have a care in the world besides Connor right now. So you ran. When you arrived at the oak tree, you crashed onto the ground next to Connor, who looked peaceful with his eyes closed. He tiredly opened his eyes and smiled at you.  “My love.” He said hoarsely, “I knew you would make it in time.” The tears that have been falling since you got that text not dropped onto Connor. “I called an ambulance. They’ll be here soon, please- just, stay awake for me.” You said, sobbing. Connor frowned. “Why?” He asked. “WHY?!” You yelled in reply, “BECAUSE I LOVE YOU, CONNOR MURPHY! I CAN’T LOSE YOU!!!” You yelled in his face, which didn’t seem to do a lot for him. Who could blame him, his brain was putty, his heart was slowing and so was his lung, he couldn’t think straight as the sirens could be heard nearby. You held Connor in your arms as he closed his eyes, trying to drift away. Then, his lung stopped. The amount of medication he took must’ve slowed his heart to a stop, because his eyes shot open and he held onto his throat, desperately trying to breathe. You looked at him in panic, layed him down on his back and connected your lips to manually give him air. It didn’t seem to really work, so you tried to comfort him as the ambulance pulled up. They quickly put Connor on a stretcher and put a type of oxygen mask on him, allowing him to breathe. You cried all the way to the hospital and in the waiting room. The sobs of dread turing into happiness when they told you they saved his life. You rushed into the room and sat by his side, watching him like a hawk. When he woke up from his slumber, he looked around until his gaze met yours.

“Good morning, handsome.” You said lovingly. Connor burst into tears on the spot. “You saved my life.” He cried. You scooted your chair closer and put your hand on his cheek, caressing it with your thumb. “I love you, Connor. I will always love you.” “I love you, M/n.”