#Common Courtesy

[sketchbot9000]

It's not polite to stare

[describe-things]

Well unfortunately I have to make a new post on another topic.

Someone left these tags on one of my posts.

#op im making out with you (/whichever tone tag you're most comfortable with)

There is no tone tag that could make me comfortable with that statement.

Please...just say "thank you" and a keysmash or something. There are plenty of ways to express gratitude without saying "I'm making out with you" or any other variation.

I'm going to be very blunt about this: This is sexual_harassment.

(And unfortunately, tumblr literally, actually censors posts that talk about this topic, because they can't be bothered to learn the difference between talking about a societal problem and encouraging it, hence the underscore that will hopefully stop this from immediately being filtered.)

Don't make comments like this to strangers. There is no tone tag that can make comments like this comfortable to people who don't want to get them at all, and you should literally Never assume a stranger wants these kinds of comments on their posts.

This is literally a form of sexual_harassment, and the fact that it has become so normalized on here is just depressing for any hope of a future where sexual harassment doesn't exist.

You might think comments like this are harmless because you think they're funny, or they're just a joke, or they're not that big of a deal.

Alright, now explain to the class why you think *you* making that argument is any better than when your stereotypical ~scary cishet guy~ does it? I will give you a hint: It's not. It's the exact same rape culture rhetoric. And yes, it is that serious.

You cannot dismantle systems of oppression if you're not even willing to correct the most basic ways you interact with other people. Rape culture will never be dismantled as long as people prioritize being allowed to make jokes like this (and putting the responsibility for being comfortable with it on the person it's being directed at) over actually respecting other people's boundaries.

You should not go around putting comments like these on strangers' posts, and you shouldn't even do it with friends unless you've asked them ahead of time if they're okay with it.

Just because you see it as a joke does not mean it's okay.

The stereotypical "type" of person who sexually_harasses people also thinks that it's just a joke and no big deal.

Everyone genuinely needs to learn how to show other people the most basic respect.

Do not leave comments like this on strangers posts.

Genuinely, just because the popular blogs are doing it, doesn't mean you should do it too.

There is no tone tag that makes sexual_harassment okay or comfortable.

Please, if you appreciate the image descriptions I make, just say thank you. I don't want to have to see comment like this in my activity. It's not complimentary, it makes me viscerally uncomfortable.

[chaoticquill]

Why Are We STILL Doing This?

I'm just going to straight up say the worst thing you can do as a reader is praise a writer in one breath, then backhandedly bash their ships in the next.

Let me explain.

I'm not talking about the "I don't normally ship x, but I gave this a chance since you wrote it" comments. Because that's fine. It's totally within your right to ship and not ship whatever.

I'm talking about, "Wow, this person's x ship work is so good! But ew, they ship y. Gross."

Y'all, I write fanfic because I want to. No one's paying me to do this. I love the community I've found in doing it, but then, I see people behaving badly, and I get a lot of feelings (hint: none of them are good ones. Mostly angry, a little sad).

I've been targeted and harassed for my ships on AO3. And because I am who I am, I have embraced the petty urge to write that ship I've been told not to EVEN HARDER.

Not everyone is like that. Talking shit about a person because of the ships they like can be really bad for that person's mental health. I know people who have stopped writing popular ships because of the hate they get for their less popular ones despite clear tagging, and it's even more infuriating when I see the same people talking shit get all sad because the writer quit writing the ship they (the reader) likes.

Sometimes, I ask myself, "Why can't we all just try to make this weird wonky fandom space we share in such a way that people's mental health doesn't crumble and they get all the joy out of their fan works they seek?" Then I remember people are people.

Hard ask, but if you don't like a ship, maybe instead of speaking in ways that damage other people, you can just say, "I don't personally like that ship" and not read the thing. Hell, there are ships I don't like, and I can just avoid them because tags. (Yes, I know it's not that easy, but hell, I'm trying anyway).

TL;DR: I saw people being assholes, I have feelings, and I want those people to stop being assholes.

[catalisst]

Not leaving a person hanging while still engaged in dm "conversation" is big dick energy. Disappearing mid thought when it's your turn to answer is little dick energy. There's an obvious difference. Girls prefer BDE, dumbasses.

[sambeawesome]

A few reasons why artists tend to prefer you asking before you give unsolicited critiques

-We typically already have a trusted circle of people to go to who are familiar with our work, goals, interests, and issues. Those people can often help us more specifically.

-This includes the artist having any mentors whose guidance they may be following.

-The art may be of a personal nature/commission, so it could feel like a boundary is crossed.

-W/ ⬆️: the artist might not want their client to see people pointing out mistakes. (least in public)

-The artist might also not want to improve (which is valid), and thus critique is pointless to them.

-Unsolicited critiques often come from people who are not skilled in delivering critiques, and thus word them in unhelpful or rude ways. "This looks off" = not helpful.

I know this is the internet & people are gonna people, but for those of you who I can reach with my words: it doesn't hurt to ask first. That way you can also know for certain if your help is desired & more likely heard.

That said, please don't be rude w the artist if they say no/don't follow your advice. Every artist's journey is their own, & in the end, it's their decision on what path they want to take.

Just as an artist is not entitled to crits, you are not entitled to tell us what to do.

tl;dr be nice to each other lol

[lonestar-badash]

The More You Know…

It’s funny that when you add the bleeps, you realize how many bad words you said in a short 58 seconds. It’s also funny that that’s not near my best record.

[tomsmusictaste]

[lau219]

PSA: If you ask a writer about the progress of a fic or request an update, you are then legally required obligated to comment and/or reblog when you get what you asked for, either as yourself or anonymously.

It’s called common courtesy, people. Show some appreciation.

[joshuadale420]

[theskeptileptic]

I don’t know much about fanfiction etiquette, but I would have to believe that (eye roll) is a fairly rude response to something that you literally are not forced to read, to something you literally don’t have to pay for, and to something that is hurting you zero percent. Put it down and walk away, loves. No one is making you read stuff you don’t like. And honestly, unless I’m mistaken, no one is giving out awards for jerky comments. Unless that’s happening in Discord. And if that’s the case, keep it to yourself?

[poprocklyrics]

Sad songs make me happy, 'cause I don't have to feel alone

Sometimes You're the Hammer, Sometimes You're the Nail, A Day To Remember

[commoncourtesyupdates]

The third main design! Also some test animations!

[austinbutlermischief]

It's come to my attention that people are using my gifs on other social sites with out crediting back to my blog. Look I dont mind others using my gifs, but what i don't appreciate is not giving credit. I dont want to go back through ALL of my works and tag them in OBVIOUS spots but I will if I have to.

[spadeinasuit]

Project I’ve been working on for a month. Check it out at @commoncourtesyupdates !

[breakingjustxn]

thanks to jeremy mckinnon for helping me learn to hate this town