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[shadowkoo]

Just Dance It Off

→ Summary: You're over the moon when you land the female lead in the end-of-semester show. It feels like your hard work has finally paid off, everything is going great. Well, until you learn who your partner is…

↠ jimin x f.reader | 9.5k words | 18+ ↠ genre: smut, angst, fluff, ballet dancers au, enemies to lovers, performing arts college au

→ Warnings: explicit and unprotected sex, jealousy, masturbation, alcohol consumption, underage drinking, use of fake ID, mild exhibitionism, creampie, hair pulling, angry sex, nipple play, degradation, dirty talk, overstimulation, multiple orgasms, multiple smut scenes, heavy teasing & banter, edging, orgasm denial, light choking

→ Author Note: This is a rewrite of an old 2019 fic of mine, so I hope you enjoy the newest version! If you’d like to read this on ao3 instead it’s been crossposted here! Also a biiiiiiig thank you so Sarah @caelesjjk for beta editing this for me. Go show her some love if you aren't already following her! As always, all likes, reblogs, and comments are appreciated <3

“Oh, no,” you hear one of the dancers behind you whisper to another, “Look who’s walking in.”

Your curiosity gets the best of you as you casually stretch, your eyes betraying you by glancing over your shoulder toward the door, dying to see who they’re talking about. You recognize him almost immediately and the whispers continue to grow about the slender male who is walking across the room to set his stuff down.

Park Jimin.

Of course, he would be auditioning for this show. It’s his final semester, and you really should have seen this coming. Especially since you knew he was bound to get whatever position he was auditioning for. That’s a given.

Park Jimin always gets whatever he wants in life; whether that be a specific role in a performance, who his performance partners are both on the stage…and in the bedroom, that sort of thing. He’s the most pretentious person you’ve ever met, seeing as he acts like he is God’s gift to the dance world, and you’re already dreading any interaction you’ll have with him.

Rumor has it that his daddy, former dancer and sponsor, paid his way into Juilliard, but as much as you hate to admit it, he (unfortunately) happens to be very talented and you doubt the school didn’t already have something lined up for him, regardless of who his family is. Unlike you, who was on the waitlist for two months and had to take out a loan worth more than your life to attend this school.

Your eyes meet his and Jimin does a once-over before moving onto the people to your left. What a prick.

“Y/N!” a voice yells from the entryway. Your familiar, freckled, redheaded best friend is quickly prancing towards you.

“I’m so happy to see you here,” Catalina squeals before hugging you tightly. “What part are you auditioning for? Please tell me it’s lead. God, I miss you. It sucks that we don’t have any classes together this semester. How are you?”

You hug your petite friend back, “I miss you too! Please tell me that you’re not also auditioning for lead, I don’t want to be judged against you. Your pirouettes are perfect compared to my lousy ones.”

Her laugh echoes through the room. “Apparently you didn’t hear about my recent tumble,” she jokes, bumping her shoulder into yours. “I’ll gladly be in the background after my solo-gone-wrong.”

“Alright, everyone!” One of the male judges calls out, walking past the lineup of dancers to collect everyone’s entry form. “We’ll start with the routine you were required to memorize as a group, and then it will be individual evaluations after. Make sure your numbers are secured and let’s line up outside the door.”

After taking your place and getting into position with the rest of the packed room, you wait for the cue to begin. The routine is short and simple, and years of practice have made some of the required moves second nature.

Before you know it, the judges are escorting people out the door for the individual sessions.

You're about twentieth in line, right behind Cat. That makes you a bit nervous because, even though she’s not auditioning for the lead role, her impressive skills might land her a more prominent part than the one she’s aiming for.

Everyone else is quietly chatting in line while you do your best to relax, working through your routine in your mind. This is one of your pre-audition rituals. It always helps with easing your nerves.

By the time you finish running through a couple of full-outs in your head, you’re second in line. You wish Cat good luck as she’s ushered into the dance studio. Her five minutes go by almost too quickly, but she exits with a happy smile.

“Hey, good luck! Kill it, okay?”

You nod, quickly following after the woman who calls your name next.

“Miss Y/N, it says here that you’re auditioning for the female lead. As a sophomore?” Mr. Jenson, one of your dance professors and judge, questions. You prepared for this. It’s very uncommon for an underclassman to try out for such a prestigious role.

“Yes, sir. That’s correct.” You hold your head high.

“Well, I have to say I’m quite impressed with your confidence. Whenever you’re ready.”

You wait for the familiar beginning notes of Tchaikovsky’s Waltz Of The Flowers to play before flying effortlessly through your well-practiced routine. You’re banking on the emotional state of your dancing along with the technical moves you’ve included to impress the judges, and based on their faces when you finish, you figure you did just that. You can’t help but grin widely as you watch the four of them scribble furiously onto the sheets of paper. That’s a really good sign.

“I have to say, I was a little thrown off in the beginning by your song choice since it’s so, hmm, how do I say this, so amateur. But I was very surprised by what you chose to express and the level at which you dance,” the first judge says.

“Yes, the lines you created with your body were very exquisite,” another praises.

You nodded, taking in their advice and criticism.

“Thank you, Miss Y/N, you may exit.” Mr. Jenson says with a smile.

As soon as you step out the door and exhale, you feel a sense of relief. The excitement of your successful audition courses through you, filling you with good energy.

You find Cat stretching in the warm-up room next door.

“Oh my god, you got it. Didn’t you?” She squeals the second she sees your face.

“I don’t know…” You have a pretty good idea based on their responses and comments but aren’t positive.

“Oh, please,” she rolls her eyes, “That’s your ’I just nailed my audition’ face. You totally got it.”

“I hope so. God, wouldn’t that be so insane? When was the last time an underclassman got the lead?”

Someone behind you scoffs; you look over your shoulder and see that it’s Jimin. Your eyes narrow at him, but Cat turns you back before you go off on him. “Not worth it, the rest of us seniors think it’s great that you’re trying for a top spot. How about we go get a drink from the vending machine while we wait?”

You nod before grabbing your warm-up bag and follow her out. “I can’t believe him. He’s so stuck up,” You grumble once you’re far enough away that no one but Cat can hear you.

“He’s always like that, just be thankful that you don’t share any classes with him.”

You’ve heard that Jimin is usually the center of attention in class, whether it’s his choice or not, so you can’t imagine being stuck in one with him. It sounds like it would be impossible to get good feedback if the teachers only care about him.

After you both buy the drinks that you want, you head back. The line is smaller but it will still be at least a half-hour until everyone has had their turn. You sigh impatiently and head back into the warm-up room.

Deciding to sit along the mirrored wall, you rummage through your bag to find a pair of headphones and put your favorite playlist on shuffle while you wait. Even though it feels like half the day goes by while you’re sitting there waiting, it’s really only been about an hour.

Everyone’s attention lands on Madam Jamie, one of the contemporary dance professors, when she asks everyone to re-enter the audition room.

“Okay,” she starts once everyone gets in line, “Those whose numbers I am about to call, please step forward. Dancers eleven, one fifty-three, one forty-seven, seventeen, thirty-eight, twenty-two, and one ten.”

Cat gives you a concerned look as she steps forward without you.

“Seventy-two, fifteen, sixty-eight, thirty, thirty-four, eighty-two, one twenty-one–” you step forward and sigh in relief once she spoke your number. Tuning out the rest of the numbers called, you smile at Cat as she reaches for your hand and gives it a reassuring squeeze.

“Everyone else, I’m sorry to inform you that you have not been selected. Thank you for your time,” She finishes, resting her clipboard against her chest.

Those who didn’t make the cut are escorted out as Mr. Jenson stands up to make an announcement.

“I have everyone’s part listed here,” He shakes the paper in his hand. “It’ll be left on this table for you all to look over. However, I want to first congratulate you all. We are excited to have this much talent for the semester’s exhibition show. We have some great things planned and cannot wait to get started with you all. Please take note of our rehearsal schedule. Monday, Wednesday, Friday. Eight to noon. Most of you should not have conflicting schedules as all dance classes are held in the afternoon anyway, although if you do have a problem just stay after and we can work it out. Madam Jamie and I will see you back here Monday morning. Dismissed.”

You and Cat both wait until more people clear out of the room before you have the guts to read the paper.

Catalina Wilde - Corps de ballet

Your eyes wander across the page as you search for your name.

Y/N - Lead Female Soloist

Turning towards each other, you squeal “Oh my god,” at the same time.

“I can’t believe it. We both got what we wanted,” you excitedly rush out.

“I know, this never happens. Oh, I’m so excited!” She reaches for your hand and squeezes it again, picking up the paper with her other hand.

“Oh, no.” She turns the paper towards you, “Look who your partner is.”

Park Jimin - Lead Male Soloist

You huff, “Of course, I’m not surprised.” You turn your head and search the mostly-empty room for him. You have a feeling he’s still here, it’s like you can sense his presence.

“Cat! You coming?” the group of dancers near the door asks.

“Shoot, I’ve got to head to my next session. I’ll see you later, okay?” Cat says, giving you a quick hug as she runs out the door.

Leaving just you and Jimin.

Deciding to let go of your prejudice against Jimin, you figure the best move would be to congratulate him on getting the part he auditioned for.

He watches blankly from the mirrored wall as you walk towards him.

Once in front of him, you stick your hand out. “Hey congrats, I’m looking forward to–” you begin before he rudely cuts you off by holding up his hand.

“Yeah, whatever,” he sneers, “We need to take this extremely seriously so I expect you to be at our rehearsals an hour early so we can get in extra time,” he looks you over again, “From what I can tell you’re gonna need it.”

“Also,” apparently he isn’t finished, “I expect that you’ll be taking care of your diet from here on out since I’m going to be lifting you and I don’t want my arms to give out, or worse, snap.”

“Well, you can always go to the gym and work on that yourself,” you say defensively. What a jerk.

“So can you, sweetheart.”

“Uh, wow. Okay…” Here you are trying to congratulate him and here he is treating you like dirt. “Guess the rumors are true,” you mutter as you shift your duffel strap further up your shoulder, turning to leave.

“Excuse me?” Well, shit. He wasn’t supposed to hear that part. You look him in the eyes without showing any regret for your previous statement.

His eyes narrow at you, clearly not liking your RBF, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing. Sorry.” However, you aren’t.

“You know,” he remarks, “I don’t care about what you’ve heard about me or what you think about me. I care if you’re going to be too immature for this role and if that’s the case I’ll have no trouble replacing you.” He follows you out the audition room.

Oh boy, you’re pissed now. You turn around and get right in his face.

“What the fuck? In case you haven’t noticed, you aren’t in charge here. Just because you’re a senior and I’m a sophomore doesn’t make you any better than me,” you bark while shoving a finger in his chest.

“Secondly, I don’t need to believe the rumors because you’ve just proven them to be true. You’re an ass to all of your partners to the point that they don’t want to dance with you so you can,” you lift up your hands to finger quote this next part, “Pick who you think is good enough.”

You scoff, “Well, here’s a fun fact dickwad. I’m not going anywhere. The judges chose me and I fully intend on dancing as the female lead in the show. So get the fuck over yourself ‘cause you’re about to be seeing a lot of me in these next few months. Got it?“

"Fine,” he huffs, pushing past you.

“Fine!” you snap, turning away from him and heading towards your next class. Now that you're thoroughly annoyed and not in the mood for your next class, which happens to be a two-hour lecture on the history of interpretive dance, you sigh and get moving before you’re late.

The first two weeks of ‘rehearsals’ are spent training, just at a higher level than you’re used to. However, you hide it well. You’ve been making sure to keep up with the upperclassmen because you know that you are, unfortunately, replaceable if Madam Jamie or Mr. Jenson deems it necessary.

It doesn’t matter that your thighs feel like they are on fire, or that your calves might be ripping at every bend and arch you make. You’re going to complete the one hundred pliés just like everyone else without a single complaint.

Jimin must have taken your last conversation to heart, or he’s exceptionally good at masking his feelings if your words bothered him, because he’s been an excellent partner all week. Although, you know you aren’t going to grow a typical relationship with him as you did with all of the other partners you have had over the years. You’ve been friends, good friends, even, with your previous partners, something you know is never going to happen with Jimin.

He doesn’t do small talk. He really doesn’t have much to say at all other than pointing out when you are making a mistake. No good comments, nor praise–not that you’re expecting any–but it would have been nice to hear him say that he is impressed with how well you’re keeping up with him.

It’s Friday of the second week, which means that it’s the last day of the training period aka hell week, thankfully. You’re dying to get started on learning the actual program. You aren’t looking forward to Jimin’s request of showing up an hour earlier than everyone else this next week, but even though you hate to admit it, the extra time will end up benefiting you.

Today also happens to be the day the choreographer is coming in. You’ve heard the whispers throughout the school this week, everyone trying to guess who it’s going to be.

And after seeing who Madam Jamie walks into the studio with, you’re so happy to see that they were all wrong.

“O-oh my–ohmygod,” you bumble and did a double-take. It couldn’t be, could it?

The brown curls hung gorgeously on the tall man’s head and you internally drool at how much better looking he is in person. He’s so tan, so fit, so delicious–

“Can you concentrate?” Jimin grumbles in annoyance, pulling you out of your slightly inappropriate thoughts. You’re doing partner stretches, which does require some level of focus, but not enough that you have to look away from the literal Italian God who stood a mere six feet away. “What’s your deal anyway? We’re supposed to be preparing our muscles for the toughest training session yet and you’re over there stuttering like a fool.”

You scoff at him and lower your voice, “Don’t you know who that is?”

Jimin rolls his eyes. “Does it look like I care?” He mutters, pushing the backside of your thigh towards your torso.

“You can’t be serious,” you exasperate. “That’s Luca Black! You know, one of the most famous choreographers in the dance world right now. I can’t believe you don’t see how big of a deal this is.”

“The only thing I care about right now is making sure your hamstrings are loose so you don’t kick me in the face when we’re dancing.”

Now there’s an idea…

“Alright, everyone! Front and center please,” Mr. Jenson announces as he walks in the door, right on time as usual.

“Dancers, I would like you to meet Mr. Black, your choreographer. I expect you all to treat him with the same level of respect that you give me and Madam Jamie.”

“Oh please,” Mr. Black says, stepping forward, “You can all call me Luca.” His smile hits the heart of every girl in the class, and even a few of the guys. “I am looking forward to working with you all to make this performance one to remember. Can we get into a lineup to start?”

Everyone moves into the typical sequence based on each person’s position of where they belong. Which meant that you and Jimin were dead center with Luca’s eyes right on you.

You swallow slowly when he walks towards the two of you. “You must be Y/N. Mr. Jenson has told me quite a lot about you. I have to say, I am most excited to work with a dancer like you.”

Jimin is perplexed that Luca went straight to you. If anything, he’s the better dancer here and he doesn’t quite understand why a sophomore is getting so much attention. He’s nearly sick to his stomach listening to the nauseating conversation that you two are having.

“It’s an honor to have you working with us Mr. Black,” you say in awe as you shake his hand.

“Luca,” he corrects before lifting your hand to kiss it, “And the pleasure is most definitely all mine.”

“Sorry,” you pant, rushing through the door. “I know I’m a couple of minutes late. I couldn’t find parking. Why is it so freaking busy? It’s barely seven.”

“Don’t let it happen again,” Jimin says ignoring your question. You bite your tongue and get straight into your morning stretches.

“What do you want to work on today?” you ask, knowing what he is going to say after you’re warmed up. For the past three weeks, you and Jimin have been dedicating extra time to perfecting scene two's Pas De Deux.

It’s the only section of this scene where you’re both completely alone on stage and Jimin is dead-set on making it nothing less than perfect. He reasons that just because you are the only two people on stage doesn’t mean that the audience’s attention is a given, you need to earn it.

Which is a very on-brand thing for Jimin to say.

“Do you really need to ask?” He snickers with a playful smile plastered to his face.

“Nevermind then,” you banter back, joining him as he finishes stretching.

You’ve surprisingly gotten pretty comfortable with Jimin after spending more time with him. Dancing with him is mostly fun, besides when he calls you out on your mistakes…repeatedly. But even then, you know he tries to mean well. You both have to be the best or the other will end up looking like a fool–which (you assume) neither of you want to happen.

Knowing that you’re almost halfway through the semester is a little terrifying. All the dancers have been making great progress and everything is coming together seamlessly, but you can’t help but feel the nervousness set in.

You take a deep breath and clear your thoughts, getting nervous right now will do you no good. Thankfully, when you start dancing your mind settles and you’re able to concentrate on your performance. 

Well, that is, until Jimin drops you during the lift. You might have understood the mistake if he hadn’t done it three times prior.

“Get up.” He holds his hand out for you, pulling you to your feet. “We need to get this number down, you know how important it is.”

“I’m aware of that,” you hiss. “But it would be nice if you weren’t letting me fall every two seconds.” You rub your aching side and stretch to see if that helps ease the pain.

“Just dance it off, you’ll be fine.” Jimin walks over to his stuff along the wall, before bending down to grab his water bottle.

You scowl. “Stop being ridiculous and hold me properly. I don’t have teeth anywhere down there,” you say motioning to the space between your legs. “You can put your hand where it belongs without worry, you know.”

Jimin blushes as soon as he hears your words, he turns away quickly before you notice. Yes, it’s technically his fault that you keep falling. It isn’t intentional, but he can’t help it. Especially when he can feel the warmth of your center from where his hand is resting when he goes in for the lift.

The thought of other parts of him being this close to your heat is driving him crazy and yeah, he may have faltered, which yeah, may have caused you to crash down once…twice. Okay, maybe three times. Or four?

It doesn’t matter. He’s so hyper-focused on why he’s thinking about you like this at all. You’re attractive, he already knew that. But this new-found thought of wanting to take you hard and fast, right here in the studio is something else. It comes from deep within, and he can’t decide if he wants to squash the idea completely or let it lead to something wild.

Jimin shakes his head, trying to get rid of those thoughts just long enough for you to both get through these next ten minutes before the rest of the crew arrives for rehearsal. “Alright, let’s go again.”

You get into position, Jimin falling behind you. You try to hold still but his breath tickles your neck while you wait for the music cue.

The motions are practically natural to you at this point, and you take a deep breath, preparing yourself in case you fall again.

You rapidly suck in air when you feel Jimin’s fingers press deep into your inner thigh this time as he lifts you. They are incredibly close, much closer than they were last time.

You won’t ever admit to it, but your mind is overflowing with dirty thoughts of Jimin’s fingers somewhere else. Particularly somewhere that would have you writhing within seconds.

Those thoughts are distracting, and you’re late for your cue to jump down. And somehow instead of jumping, your body twists around in a weird way as your head dives down toward the ground below you. Tensing, you brace for the impact that doesn’t come.

Unexpectedly, Jimin manages to catch you before any damage happens, and he quickly pulls you up, as if you were never upside down to begin with. His arms are wrapped right below your butt, causing your head to be directly above his. How on earth it got there, you have no idea.

But you aren’t questioning it. Adrenaline runs wild through your body, and you cling to him as if your life depends on it. Your arms are wrapped tightly around his neck, scared that you still might fall somehow.

Your faces are only a few inches apart in this position, which allows you to see how soft and smooth Jimin’s lips look. You slowly lick yours as he lowers you down to the ground, keeping the same amount of distance, or lack thereof, between you two. The realization that it would be so easy to kiss him right now has set in and you swear Jimin has the same mad thoughts; especially when he’s gripping your hips this tightly.

What you both don’t realize is that outside of the main doors, the rest of the dancers are watching with wide eyes and shocked faces. If it weren't for the unmistakable red hair you see in the mirror's reflection, who knows what might have happened? You don’t think about it, instead, you pull away and play it off before heading toward your bag to grab a drink.

“Morning everyone! What are we all waiting for?” Luca says from behind the dancers, “Let’s go in and get warmed up.”

He opens the door and sees you and Jimin at opposite ends of the room, each taking big gulps from your water bottles. Interesting…

Cat walks in and sets her stuff down next to Jimin’s and silently watches him. His face is flushed but she can’t tell if it was because of the intense moment you two just shared, or from the strain of the lifting sequence. She was the first to notice the look you two shared before the crowd outside the door, and she has a weird feeling about it.

Last she knew you were still fighting with Jimin during your pre-practices, although she’s very aware of the saying ’there’s a fine line between love and hate’. Cat makes a mental note to ask you about this morning’s situation later.

The first half of practice is weird, to say the least. Jimin is treating you like nothing happened. And while technically nothing happened, something almost did and you don’t know how you felt about the something.

Needless to say, you aren’t on top of your dance game today. It’s hard to concentrate with your head filled with empty-answered questions and even more confusion.

“Okay, everyone,” Luca echoes, stealing every dancer’s attention, “Let’s take five. When we reconvene we’ll do a recap of Scenes One through Three with no breaks. If we can get it down we’ll move onto the beginning of Scene Four today.”

You and Jimin happily turn in opposite directions, grateful for some space.

“Y/N, can you stay back? There’s something I want to go over with you,” Luca calls out, stopping you from heading in the direction of Cat and some of the other girls.

Oh no. That’s never a good sign.

“Don’t worry, you’re not doing anything wrong,” he says after seeing your smile falter. “I just see a little room for improvement with the last sequence before the song changes in scene three.”

He gestures for you to get into position in front of him, which you do without hesitation.

Luca moves closer to you and rests a hand on your lower back, “Tighten here and stretch.” He shows you how to position your body to make it look more elegant and elongated. “See how much longer you look now?” His eyes meet yours in the mirror. “Hold yourself like this through the rest of the dance. Trust me when I say you’ll notice a difference. So will everyone else.”

A blush creeps up your neck when his hand slides across your hip before he steps away from you, “Thank you for the tip.”

His eyes burn into yours, and you feel the heat growing in your lower stomach. “Anytime, Y/N.” His lips turned into a small smile, which you returned.

Jimin stalks silently as Luca touches you, his anger bubbling deep down inside him. Fuck, he doesn’t exactly want you, but he definitely doesn’t want anyone else to have you either. And he sure as hell doesn’t want Luca touching you like that or giving you those looks; looks that have disguised intentions with ulterior motives behind them.

He wants to tell Luca where to go and how to get there, but he knows better. Not only would it be unprofessional as hell, but Jimin would probably be screwed out of a lot of future events if he tells one of the best choreographers to fuck off.

He forces himself to look away and takes another deep breath, calming down a little before part two of rehearsals starts.

The second half of rehearsals ends sooner than expected, and Jimin storms off before you even have the chance to talk to him about this morning. You sigh, your eyes trailing his fast exit.

“Y/N! I’m heading to the vending machine for a granola bar, want to come with me?” Cat asks. You’re sure that her question has a hidden agenda too, but you go along with it anyway since you’re starving and need to eat something small before your next class.

“Sure, just give me a second to switch out of my pointe shoes.” You don’t like to wear yours for walking since they’re new and still stiff.

“So,” Catalina begins, watching you put the money into the machine. “What was that this morning? And don’t you dare try to say it was just dancing, because I’ve seen 'just dancing’ with Jimin and that was not at all what I saw earlier.”

You groan internally, not wanting to deal with her interrogation. Cat isn’t the type to judge you if you told her that you would’ve fucked Jimin right then if it wasn’t for the fact that you noticed her (and the rest of the dancers). But you don’t want to admit it to yourself.

Saying it and thinking it are two very different things, and you aren’t sure you can come to terms with saying that you want to fuck Jimin. Hell, you have no idea if you will feel the same way in an hour. So you choose to keep it to yourself for now.

“Did something happen between you two?” she asks bluntly.

“No, nothing happened between us.”

“And is that a good or bad thing?” she questions next.

“Good,” you huff, “I think…”

It’s been another busy few weeks, and things have been going great…until today. To be honest, this is probably the worst dance day you’ve had in years.

“I’m sorry guys, let’s start from the top,” you apologize again for messing up. The scene you’re going over today isn’t complicated by any means, it’s only a transition scene. But your head is elsewhere which, in turn, makes you mess up every couple of seconds.

You're not getting many approving looks from the room. Luca is a little worried, Madam Jamie has pursed lips, and the dancers are severely annoyed with you.

“No, Miss Y/N.  Stop before you hurt yourself.” Mr. Jenson lets out a frustrated sigh. “Kyra, would you stand in for Y/N and show her how it’s properly done?”

You’re embarrassed that it’s gotten to this point. What is with you? You’ve done this sequence perfectly with Jimin this past week, hundreds of times at least. Now with the extra dancers on the floor, you seem to be forgetting it all.

Taking soft, shallow breaths is the only thing keeping you from crying in front of everyone. But they wouldn’t notice. All eyes are glued to Kyra, a senior who had also auditioned for the same role as you, as she dances with Jimin.

They dance beautifully, you can’t deny it, even if you want to. You can’t help but wonder if she would’ve been the better choice for the female lead.

“Thank you, Kyra. Everyone back into position now.”

Kyra walks past you and smirks. You know she’s thinking the same thing that you are. She probably also thinks that she’s capable of sweeping in and stealing your position. Like hell if you’re going to let that happen.

Even so, it’s not your decision to make and you know if you keep screwing this up it’s more than likely to happen.

“Hey, are you okay? What’s your deal?” Jimin whispers once he lines up with you again. The last thing you need is for him to make you feel worse for fucking up.

“I don’t know, it’s not a good day for me,” you whisper back as your eyes fill with tears. You’re completely exhausted, defeated, and disappointed.

“Just dance it off, we all get days like this. Follow my lead, okay? I promise I won’t let you mess up again.”

You nod, blinking back your tears. This is a different side of Jimin than you’re used to. He’s caring and knows exactly what to say to make you feel better.

After shaking off the earlier mishaps, you get yourself together and push through practice, making sure that the first official run-through of the program is a total success. It makes you feel a hell of a lot better than two hours earlier. You can tell that the rest of the group is just as ecstatic as you and Jimin are.

“That was great, Y/N!” he says, pulling you into a comforting hug. “See, all you needed was a little reassurance.”

You’re slightly sad when he pulls back, the warmth of his body is no longer felt. “Thank you for today. I would’ve completely fallen apart without you.”

“Hey don’t worry about it, make sure you get some rest this weekend. See you Monday!” He smiles softly and waves bye. Who knew Jimin had more to him than what everyone else saw?

“Hey, Y/N!”

You turn your head and see Madison, one of the upperclassmen who’s also in the show, walking toward you.

“What are you doing tonight? Some of the girls and I are planning on going out to celebrate our first successful run-through of the show. We’re wondering if you’d like to come?” She leans in a little closer, “We have a fake you can use to get into our favorite club, Wander. We’d love for you to let loose with us.”

Usually, you would turn down any interaction that involves alcohol, especially since you’re underage, but you don’t want to disappoint your potential new friends. Plus it does sound like a lot of fun, and after the practice you just had, you deserve to let loose and relax.

“Yeah, totally! I’d love to come.” Madison smiles and you both trade numbers.

“Okay cool, I’ll text you my address later. We’re gonna get ready at mine before we head out. See you later!” She gives you a quick hug before heading out the door.

You’re secretly excited to hang out with the older girls since you don’t have many other friends in your year. Especially not now with all your free time taken up by rehearsals.

Jimin stands outside the dance studio’s side door, slyly eavesdropping. He makes a mental note to accidentally run into you later. He isn’t sure what’s gotten into him, but he doesn’t want to go without seeing you for two days.

You intrigue him, and after your almost-kiss, Jimin wants to know what your lips feel like for real this time, not just what he has been imagining.

“What can I get you?” the bartender asks over the pounding music. You have no idea what to ask for; you obviously don’t drink and ordering something from the bar is a little out of your comfort zone since you don’t know what you’re doing.

Madison catches on and takes over. “Five shots of tequila for our group!” she yells while leaning over the bartop so he can hear her.

Oh boy, you don’t know much but you know enough to feel safe assuming tonight will be wild if you’re starting with shots, of all things.

With about a month left until the show, deciding to let loose with the girls is exactly the kind of break you need. Dancing, drinks, and good friends. Looking around, you’re happy to see that you have all three. It’s all a part of tonight’s plan.

What you don’t plan for, however, is seeing Jimin in the middle of the dance floor with Kyra all over him. After practice today, this is a total slap in the face.

You aren’t sure if the progress you’ve been making with Jimin is just one-sided, or if you had been imagining it this whole time. It feels like you’re both taking two steps forward in the right direction and then something like this will happen, sending you ten steps back.

Your eyes are glued to Kyra’s body as she dances with him, her hips moving at the perfect speed. You can’t help but be jealous of her. Not only is she gorgeous and a great dancer, but she also has a way of demanding everyone’s attention in any room she graces. Although, there’s only one person’s attention you want right now, and from what it looks like, you doubt you’ll be getting his anytime soon.

“Oh my god, is that Luca?” Catalina asks with a surprised tone, pointing towards the opposite end of the bar, “No way, it can’t be.”

“It is,” you laugh nervously before looking away. You’re a little worried that he might remember that you’re under the legal drinking age, only by a year, but still. How embarrassing would it be for him to get you kicked out…

“That’ll be $42,” the bartender drones, pushing the over-spilling shot glasses toward your group and happily taking whichever girls’ fifty-dollar bill in return.

You lift your glass along with the others, “Here’s to letting go and having fun!”

The tequila burns the back of your throat but that doesn’t stop you from hollering, “Let’s go dance!”

You pull Madison and Catalina onto the dance floor, coming to an abrupt stop when your back collides with someone., “Oh my gosh, I am so sor–” You pause and stare at the dark-haired man, “Oh. Hi.”

“Hi ladies, I hope you’re not getting into too much trouble tonight,” Luca jokes with a wide smile displayed across his face. He looks gorgeous dressed in all black, the leather jacket tops off his outfit.

“Oh of course not, Mr. Black,” Catalina giggles playfully, “We’re all good girls here.”

He raises his eyebrow which makes each of you giggle, “I’m not so sure about that. Can I buy you all a drink? Or is that a little weird?”

You look around at the girls; they do the same.

“Uh, sure? Madison finally says, breaking up the awkward silence.

Cat and one of her friends entertain Luca’s conversation while they wait at the bar. You slyly peek over your shoulder while dancing, looking for you-know-who. You can’t find him, but you’re happy to see that Kyra has moved on to her next man of the night.

"Hey,” Luca says, walking towards you with an extra drink in hand. “Here you go. Shhh, it’s our little secret,” he says humorously.

You thank him for the drink, nervously swirling the ice with the slim black straw in your cup.

“I’m happy I ran into you,” he begins, “Can I talk to you for a second, alone?”

“Oh, uh, sure!” You nod to Cat, silently saying that you’ll catch up with her later. He smiles and pulls you aside from your friends.

“What’s up?” You ask tensely while Luca grins, running a hand through his hair.

“I just want to tell you how impressed I’ve been with your progress so far, I haven’t been able to take my eyes off of you at rehearsals.”

Oh my god.

“Really?” You gape.

“Absolutely,” he reaches for your hand, bringing you closer to him before bending down to plant his lips on yours. You freeze as he kisses you gently, entirely unsure of what to do in that situation.

He quickly pulls back after reading your body language, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that.”

“Luca,” you say curtly, taking a step back, “I appreciate your tips in class and kind comments, but I think we should keep things professional here. You’re the choreographer and I’m a student...”

“Of course, I apologize again. How about I walk you back to your friends and we forget this happened?”

“That would be perfect.” You’re thankful that things don’t seem too awkward, and you only hope things will stay that way when you see each other Monday morning.

Jimin’s fingernails dig into the flesh of his palms as he clenches his fists. Fucking Luca Black. He was heading your way to say hi, but Luca led you in a different direction than the one your friends are heading to. He should have known better, but he follows behind slowly. And what he sees when he finally turns the corner doesn’t sit right with him.

Luca’s hand on your cheek as the two of you kiss. Jimin isn’t exactly sure who initiated it. And even though it’s eating him alive, he doesn’t want to know because it pains him either way.

He watches as Luca pulls away, and takes note of your stunned face. Jimin wants to believe that was because you didn’t enjoy it. He can’t hear what you’re talking about, and he truly wants to believe that Luca is making you uncomfortable based on your reaction to the kiss. But that hopeful thought is squashed as soon as you smile and take Luca’s hand, allowing him to lead you to the dance floor.

Jimin is still trying to process what he just witnessed even though you’re both long gone. He steps out of the shadows and throws his drink at the wall, ignoring the sound of the glass breaking behind him. Grumbling under his breath, Jimin takes the closest exit and slams the club door behind him.

He heads home with the hopes that a cold shower will ease his rage, but the cool water running down his back isn’t doing much for his boiling blood, nor is it getting rid of the image of Luca’s lips on yours. And inevitably, he can’t get you out of his head either which in turn results in him masturbating to those thoughts of you … which is anything but calming.

Jimin closes his eyes and imagines that it’s him kissing you, not Luca, and that he’s the one who has you pushed up against the wall. He can practically hear your soft whimpers, the ones you make when you’re doing partner stretches that always have him close to losing it right there in front of everyone at rehearsals.

But it isn’t him who’s stretching with you. His length quivers in his hand as he speeds up, trying to change his thoughts to you aroused in the club bathroom, his hand sliding underneath your dress and slipping into your panties. Jimin throws his head back at the image of you getting all worked up, but once again, it isn’t him that’s driving you wild. It’s Luca.

After the fifth attempt and still failing to picture himself with you, Jimin gives up. He groans, looking down at his length’s angry red tip that’s aching for release. And there’s only one thing that will give him that. You.

But not an imaginary you. The real you. The real you wanting him just as much as he wants you. He doubts that you ever will, not when you can have Luca instead.

Meaning that Jimin is basically screwed.

Monday is a killer. Jimin has been hateful to you all morning, and you genuinely have no idea why. He seems to be fuming now at the end of rehearsals, compared to the quiet angry vibe he was giving off earlier this morning.

“Hey, great job today Y/n. You’re doing phenomenal. I can’t wait to see this all come to life next week. See you tomorrow!”

“Thanks! Yes, see you tomorrow Luca.” You wave bye while he rushes out of the room, leaving just you and Jimin behind.

Jimin waits until Luca is out of earshot before saying anything. He’s been annoyed all day by your and Luca’s behavior after witnessing the two of you making out in the hallway of Wander.

He’s disgusted, even more so by the afterthoughts of Luca bringing you back to his place and taking advantage of you. Needless to say, he didn’t sleep much this weekend.

“God, you’re such a suck-up,” he criticizes, failing to hold back his evil words. “How special do you think you’re going to feel when the paid help you’re boning doesn’t remember your name the second he moves on to the next school and finds a new student to seduce?”

“Excuse me?”

“You can pretend all you want but I saw you Friday night. With him.”

Oh god…

You shake your head, “Jimin, I can explain–”

“Whatever, waitlist. I don’t want to hear your excuses.” He turns around and internally grimaces, upsetting you isn’t what he was going for. He’s pissed and unfortunately, you’re the only person he can take it out on. It’s a dick move to say things like that, especially since you deserve to be here just as much as everyone else.

Jimin knows he should just let it go, but he can’t help it. It’s been eating him alive all day. He’s pissed that you’re acting like a damn fool because of Luca’s attention. Luca’s eyes hadn’t left your body the entire day.

Fucking perv.

Jimin is more pissed that it’s bothering him so much. He shouldn’t care, he doesn’t–or at least, that’s what he keeps telling himself.

Jimin’s words stung, and you’re shaking out of pure anger. “What the fuck is your problem? I can handle the normal stick-up-your-ass behavior but it’s on a whole new level today. Chill out, okay? It isn’t what you think. Nothing happened after he kissed me. Not that it’s any of your goddamn business, but it actually made me, like, super uncomfortable and he apologized directly after. We both agreed it wasn’t professional, so piss off Jimin. And even if I did decide to take it further with Luca, it wouldn’t concern you. So stay out of it.” You’re near him when you finish, with crossed arms and eyes glaring.

It’s unbelievable Jimin would make such a comment; the last thing you need is for him to start telling people what he saw.

You know you would be harshly reprimanded for using a fake ID to get into a club, but also for accepting a drink from someone who is a teacher, and especially for kissing that same teacher.

Jimin is just as heated as you are. So his intuition was right that night. His anger only grows, wanting to punch Luca over and over again for making you uncomfortable like that. How could Luca not tell that you weren’t actually into him, but rather idolized him for his contributions to the dance world? How dare he use that against you to pull a move like that?

“Fine,” he growls in your face, totally furious at the situation, and furious with himself for caring this much about it–about you. You’re driving him crazy, even now when you’re pissed with him. It turns him on how strong and defensive you always are, and fuck, he wants to do something about it.

“Fine,” you snap back, taking another step forward as your eyes subconsciously lower to his parted mouth.

In a matter of milliseconds, your lips collide and your hands are all over each other’s bodies. He lifts you into his arms and slams your back into the mirrors. It’s a miracle that they don’t shatter from his force.

You gasp at the contact and Jimin takes the opportunity to shove his tongue further into your mouth. Your legs lock around his waist while you continue to explore each other’s mouths and bodies ravenously.

Jimin pulls away and tugs your leotard down your arms, freeing your breasts from the tight compression.

“You’re so fucking annoying, do you know that?” He snarls before leaving a line of rough kisses along your neck and down your chest. You whimper at the sensation and run your fingers through his hair.

“You’re so fucking loud, do you always have to say so much?” You moan in response.

Jimin is starved for your taste and can’t wait any longer. His hands travel down your side while his lips close over one of your soft peaks, sucking it in between his teeth.

You mewl, crashing your head back against the glass from the sheer amount of pleasure.

Jimin abruptly pulls away and brings his face back in front of yours. “What? Do you have something to say?” he asks with fire in his eyes. But with his lips replaced by his fingers, twisting and tugging, you’re helplessly tongue-tied.

He moves one hand lower and another soft moan escapes your lips, his middle finger dancing dangerously above your panties before dipping into your slickened folds.

Jimin knows exactly where and how to touch you, causing your head to spin. He feels himself hardening watching your face contort in pleasure, and nearly coming in his pants when you slowly lick your bottom lip, pulling it in between your teeth and letting out a long moan in the process.

“Mmm, Jimin,” you cry, feeling yourself getting closer and closer to the edge. Jimin notices this and instantly pulls away. You don’t get to come that easily. Even though it makes him super fucking excited to see what his touch does to you. God, this is so much better than what he imagined.

You whimper at the loss of his touch, “What the fuck?”

“Turn around,” he demands, his eyes flooding with lust and a dash of something dark. He undresses you rather quickly, leaving your tights and leotard wrapped around your legs.

You decide you aren’t going to let him have all the fun, sneaking a hand back behind you. Jimin grits his teeth in pleasure as your hand slips into his pants. His length twitches in anticipation of feeling you wrapped around him. You pull his member out and lead him between your damp folds, moaning deliciously at the contact.

The scent of your arousal has now filled the room and Jimin can’t hold back any longer. He wants to fulfill his fantasy of taking you hard and fast, right here in front of the mirror. Without a warning he slams himself into you, causing you to lose your breath.

Your back is against him as he relentlessly pounds you from behind. The force of his thrusts are hard and you use your hands as leverage against the mirror to avoid being crushed by him, even though it would certainly be worth it.

Jimin brings a hand up around your neck and holds your head straight so he can watch when you come. You’re close and he knows just what to do.

“Say my name,” he demands, using his other hand to pinch your clit. “Look at me and say the name of the man who’s making you come like you never have before.”

“Jimin, oh my-” The waves of pleasure wash over your entire body, every inch of your skin tingles. You pulsate around him, but he’s not done with you yet.

“That’s damn right.” Jimin twists you around again, lifting you against the reflective glass. He keeps his fast pace, with a fistful of your hair held between his tightening fingers.

“You’re such a fucking slut. Look at you losing it over my cock,” he snarls with a clenched jaw, “I’m gonna fuck you like this until the rest of the class comes in.”

Jimin rams into you with twice the amount of force as before. “I’d make that fucking Italian bastard watch as I take you hard and make you feel this good.” He brings his lips up to your ear and whispers, “He could never,” before harshly biting your ear, sending you completely over the edge for a second time. 

Jimin watches you unfold, your beauty completely mesmerizes him. Your entire body is on fire from oversensitivity while Jimin’s fingers rub your throbbing nub. You watch, completely hypnotized, as he brings his soaked fingers up to his mouth and sucks them clean.

“Oh, don’t think we’re anywhere near done yet,” he smirks devilishly, moving his thumb back to your clit and rubbing in crude circles. Your eyes squeeze shut at the sensation, and you can’t catch your breath. It’s too much.

Jimin hisses when your fingernails dig into his shoulders. “Fuck, Y/N. You’re so tight right now.” It isn’t long after those words leave his lips that he’s shuddering inside of you, his release shooting into the depths of your heat.

Your insides coil as you reach the peak of your third and final orgasm. Jimin holds your legs steady as you come hard over his cock, and swallows your moans with his mouth.

He slowly retreats out of you and presses his flushed cheek against yours. You can feel his heartbeat thumping out of control while you both catch your breath.

After a moment, he draws back and lowers you to the ground. You both chuckle at the state of your appearance. “I think I have a towel in my bag, one sec.” He says while tucking himself back into his pants as you readjust your hair, trying to make the whole ’i just had sex’ look a little less obvious.

You’re still breathing heavily when he returns to wipe you clean.

“Mmm,” you hum in total satisfaction, and still a little out of it - if you had to be honest. “I should piss you off more often.”

He gives you a look, “Hurry up and get dressed before anyone sees you.”

You’re the one to smirk this time, “I thought you wanted people to see me?”

“Haha, very funny.”

“Hurry up, you’re taking too long,” you whine while Jimin attempts to undo his stage pants as fast as he can.

“I’m trying,” he mutters, silently praying when his zipper finally works, “There we go.”

He lines himself up to you and pushes into your center.

You bite your lip to avoid making any noises as he stretches you out. The two of you are in the small storage closet behind the stage; there’s only about an hour or two until the opening night show starts.

Jimin thought you had to be joking at first when you whispered how badly you needed him after you both were dressed and ready to warm up with the rest of the dancers. But much to his delight, you weren’t kidding.

Hopefully, they won’t notice your absence. Who are you kidding, they probably know that you two are fucking. Plus, it’s kind of obvious when both lead roles go 'missing’ at the same time.

At first, he was torn between following you into the tight space–wanting to be in another tight space–and doing what he normally would call the right thing, which was preparing for tonight. But after seeing the look on your face, Jimin was quick to follow you into the closet.

“Shhh, you need to stay quiet,” Jimin grunts quietly with a hand over your mouth, silencing your moans.

You grip his shoulders as he quickens his pace, bringing you both over the edge.

“Holy fuck,” he quietly whines, the sensation of your inner walls clenching his length is addicting. It isn’t long after your sweet release that he’s quivering. He pulls out, knowing you can’t dance with his release filling you. He shudders one last time, his come shoots out and onto the wooden floor below.

You giggle, “Good thing we’re in a place that can clean that up.” you say referencing his load.

He rolls his eyes at your joke and leans in to give you a quick kiss, “You think you’re so funny, don’t you?”

“Yes, typically.”

You flatten out your costume and zip each other up, leaving the closet one at a time. You first of course, since you needed to touch up your makeup now. Leaving Jimin behind to clean up his mess.

About fifteen minutes later you meet Jimin backstage to practice, stretch, and chat along with everyone else. The jitters are bouncing off of everyone and you can’t stand still from excitement, a little nervousness too. But mostly excitement.

“Jimin, are you feeling okay? You look a little stiff and tired if I must say…” Madam Jamie mentions after watching him practice a few scenes.

“Nothing to worry about Madam, had a tiring warm-up is all. Not to worry though, I am more than ready for tonight.”

Madam Jamie reminds him how important rest and lots of water are when practicing hard before moving along to the next student.

“Hmmm, what is it that you usually tell me?” You begin, giving him a coy look, “Oh right. 'Just dance it off.’ That should fix your issue, correct?” You look down at his crotch, and back up at him with a twinkle in your eyes.

“I don’t know what you mean,” he says, daring you to go on.

“After our vigorous warmup, I’m sure you do. But we’re going on stage soon. So suck it up, sweetie.”

He can’t wait to make you regret that statement when he teases you later tonight. He had big plans to celebrate. And knowing you, you would love them.

©shadowkoo 2024. All rights reserved.

[chelseasdagger]

Teacher - Chapter II

Frank Castle x Inexperienced F!reader

Summary: You get invited to Frank's apartment again days after he gave you your first kiss. After a long makeout session, you rush to get to the bonfire and enjoy a night with your group of friends and even more of Frank's company

Warnings: age gap (reader is in her early 20s), cursing, drinking, dry humping, brief mentions of masturbation

Author's Note: It's finally here! I'm SO so sorry for the wait on this chapter! I've been working full time at my part time job and it's been crazy busy!! Thank you for being patient :) Oh! We have a taglist now, so if you want to be added, just let me know! As always, reblogs and feedback are greatly appreciated :) Leave a comment or shoot me an ask!! I'd love to hear what you think!

Word Count: 6.6k+

Previous Chapters: I

Ever since that afternoon when Frank gave you your first kiss, it’s all that’s consumed your mind. It’s been difficult to focus your attention anywhere that isn’t the image of his puffy lips, swollen from your kisses, that has been ingrained in your head. You’ve been spacing out more often—even softly tracing your lower lip with your finger to try and relive the memory of his tongue brushing your skin.

You’ve even let your mind wander off its leash at work. Your coworker rips you from your thoughts by calling your name and you look up with wide eyes. She smirks when she sees your frazzled expression and asks what’s on your mind. You flip through excuses in your brain before stumbling out an “It’s a good day?”

Your voice twists into a question at the end, obvious that even you weren’t sold on your words. She shoots a skeptical look your way before walking away from the front desk, leaving you to sit once again in your thoughts about Frank. Beams of sunlight pour through the glass windows at the front of the building and the heat on your face reminds you of his warm touch. You let your eyes close for a moment and you swear you can feel his long fingers curling behind your jaw.

Suddenly, a chime sounds out and your eyes shoot open, quickly facing the front door as you expect to be met with a client’s face. There’s not a single person in sight though, and you glance down at your phone and see its illuminated screen. There’s an alert on the display and as you pick it up to unlock it, you notice it’s from your close friend.

“I’m picking you up at 6 right?”

Your eyebrows pull together, trying to remember the topic of the conversation that she’s starting back up again. As your eyes scan the earlier messages on the screen, it clicks for you. The bonfire.

Every few weeks your friend group makes plans to go out and do something fun together. With busy lives and conflicting schedules, not to mention the range of ages, it’s not always easy to reconnect and make time to be with each other. But months ago there was a collective agreement to make the effort of seeing one another more often than not. It was something you loved, being able to be in the good company of everyone you cared for.

Admittedly, your favorite part of the group hangout was watching as the rest of them enjoyed themselves. Smiles thrown on their faces, laughter roaring out when someone cracks a joke, even comfortable silences—it brought you so much joy to witness. However, due to your more reserved nature and how you passed on drinking each time, you felt more like a bystander; always watching them let loose and wishing you could do the same.

“Yes pleaseee”, your thumbs press on the glass, typing out the message on the digital keys. As you hit the arrow to send the text, another message shows as a banner across the top of the screen.

“You wanna come over?”

It’s from Frank this time. Sinking your teeth into your lip in an attempt to stall your smile, you glance at the clock on the wall. Unfortunately, no amount of wishing makes the thin, red hand pass the black numbers any faster. With a quiet sigh, you begin to type another text.

“I get off in an hour. You’re still going to the bonfire tonight right?”

You anxiously tap your finger along the side of your phone, watching the little bubbles move as an indicator that he’s typing. Frank was the main reason you went to these monthly bonfires, and the idea of him not showing is certainly enough to make you consider twice about going.

“Yeah. Just wanted to see you before then.”

As if right on cue, your heartbeat speeds up when your eyes scan across his words. You don’t even try to fight the grin that grows on your face this time. It’s only been a few days since you last saw him, since your last kiss, but you’ve been texting him each day in between. The conversations have always been light, slightly flirty on his end, but you’re thankful Frank never pressures you to do anything.

Oftentimes you find yourself still in disbelief at how this all happened. Frank’s incredibly patient with you and has reassured you many times that this is all your choice. Hell, he hasn’t even asked for you to come over again until just now. Maybe he was trying to keep the distance to not overwhelm you?

But he does want to see me, the giddy, although nagging, little voice in your head reminds you. Rolling your eyes at your own thoughts, you sigh gently before texting him that you’ll drive over to his apartment after you get off. He replies back almost instantly.

“Can’t wait.”

You force yourself to drop your phone and not reread his message multiple times. It wasn’t a habit you normally had, but it became ever so prevalent with his messages. You pictured what other thoughts could be behind his often short texts and that wasn’t particularly helpful while you’re still on the clock.

The minutes felt like centuries as you sat at the desk. No amount of phone calls from curious customers or coworker gossip could act as a catalyst and make the time pass faster. You almost feel bad for being mentally checked out, but with something as good as this planned after you left, you really couldn’t help it. With your chin in your hand as you barely hold yourself up, you take one last hesitant glance at the clock. Two minutes left.

The second the time flips to the nearest hour, you’re clocking out; you’re thankful it was a slow day and you could leave right on time. With a shout over your shoulder and a wave goodbye to your coworker, you walk out the door and straight to your car. You don’t even put the GPS on–you have the way to his house memorized after the last time–and put on your favorite playlist to get yourself excited once again to see him.

Thankfully, the traffic isn’t too bad and it’s not long before you’re making the first turn into the neighborhood. You turn on each familiar street, winding the curves before you spot the black van with an empty parking space beside it once again. There’s no anxiety this time as you put the car in park, just excitement bubbling up and making your chest grow warm. You’re quick to grab your bag and rush up to the wooden door as you lock the car behind you.

You raise your hand and swiftly knock an upbeat tune on the door. It opens only a few seconds later, and there’s a strong arm winding around you as it pulls you past the door frame. A surprised yelp escapes you and his raspy voice sounds out with an apology.

“Sorry, kid, didn’t mean to scare ya.” He closes the door behind you before walking towards the couch. The room’s not quite as spotless as it was last time but it honestly makes it feel more cozy seeing as it’s been lived in. He motions for you to follow him to sit down and this time you make sure to sit right beside him.

He asks about your day and the two of you begin a light conversation. It feels like he really listens to you; he’s nodding his head as you speak, leaning slightly towards you, and for once you feel like you’re being truly heard. After some back and forth, Frank begins to talk more as something you say sparks up a memory in his mind. He’s excited to tell you, obvious from how he sits up with a wide smile, and you listen to him as he gives you some background information that’s necessary to understand the story.

If you’re honest, you’re not really sure you’re keeping up with the whole picture he’s trying to paint you. You couldn’t really help it, memories of the only other time you were here beginning to rush through your brain. His laughter sounds out, breaking your concentration of the memory, and you try your hardest to focus back on him. Frank’s so animated when he talks: his hands moving in front of him, his facial features physically showing how he felt, and let’s not forget the voices of his friends that he puts on to get a smile out of you.

But eventually his words continue to drone on and on and you’re beginning to lose interest. It's no fault of his own, you just can’t focus on anything other than his mouth. The meaning of his words dissipate until they’re simply just noise to fill the background. Your eyes never leave his lips, watching as they curl around the words or stretch into a smile as he laughs. Before you can even think through the consequences of your actions, you lean forward and place a quick kiss to the corner of his mouth.

His words stop abruptly and you watch as he turns his head to face you. There’s a short pause before he’s got his arms wrapped around you, immediately pulling you into his lap. You settle on your knees, straddling his thighs, and he tugs you even closer until you’re sitting right between his legs.

“Did you hear anything I was saying?” he asks, tilting his head as he stares up into your eyes. His gaze is too intense and you find yourself focusing on his lips instead. “You hear a single word or… did some kind of switch flip just then?” He squints his eyes as he asks, his tongue brushing over his lips.

“I just… I’ve been wanting to do that all day,” you confess in a small voice.

“That is just the cutest thing I’ve ever heard. You know that?” And queue the heat rushing to your cheeks. “Got any idea how sweet you sound?”

“Frank, c’mon,” you whisper, growing tired of his teasing.

“What, sweetheart? You wanna say somethin’ like that and not expect me to talk about it?” Again, you wish he would just shut up and kiss you already. “I’ve been on your mind that much? Must’ve been a damn good kiss for you to think about it days later, huh? Did you miss—”

You cut him off once more with your lips, your hands cradling his cheeks as you kiss him. You can’t even believe you did it, you never thought yourself the one to make the first move. Being desperate for his kisses is enough for the final push, you guess. His hands are quick to find your hips and you shiver at the touch, cursing yourself for being so sensitive. He pulls away when he feels your body’s reaction but never takes his hands off of you.

“That okay?” he asks, his eyes glancing up into yours. He gives another swift squeeze into your side before questioning with another “hmm?” You nod quickly, still reeling from the feel of him touching you there. Frank only tilts his head, silently requesting more from you.

“Y-Yes,” you stutter out, and he mutters the quietest, “Okay,” you’ve ever heard. His hand that’s wrapped around your hip begins to push you back and you’re quick to move with his movements. It’s a gentle push that has your ass grinding down onto the center of his jeans and you quickly grab hold of his shoulder to keep your balance.

“You okay?” he asks through a light chuckle. You nod and hum an agreement as you focus back on his warm touch that’s setting a fire alight on your side. He pulls you closer now and begins rocking you back and forth on his lap. The heat begins to travel down your tummy and nestles between your thighs.

Suddenly, Frank’s mouth is on your neck again and you almost feel lightheaded with how your body is trying to take in so much of him at once. He drags his kisses down your jaw, his hand never stopping the gentle pull and push of your hips. As you keep rocking on him, you swear you feel something bumping into you on each push down but you’re not very certain of anything at the moment.

His unoccupied hand smoothes up your side and his big palm grabs at your chest. A small moan gets stuck in your throat, resulting in a quiet whimper, as his long fingers squeeze into your soft skin. You break the kiss, your arms crossing each other as you reach for the hem of your shirt but his hands tenderly grab your wrists.

“You don’t have to…” he breathes shallowly, his breath fanning across your lips. His gaze locks with yours before he swallows thickly. He closes his eyes as he continues, “I’m sorry. I-I just got caught up in it.” You smile at the hesitancy in his voice and brush your thumb along his jaw.

“It’s okay, Frank, I wanna,” you reassure him. He loosens his hold, allowing you to continue your movements and pull your top off. His eyes move up with each new inch of skin that gets exposed and there’s this look in his eyes that sends a shiver down your spine. Once your head is clear of the fabric, you drop it onto the empty couch cushion beside you before moving to cup his cheeks in your smaller hands.

His lips are parted as he stares unabashedly at your chest. Brushing your thumb over the light stubble, you watch as he takes you in for the first time. Part of you is somewhat worried about his reaction, but his kisses were enough to leave your head clouded for long enough to push the anxiety away.

“So fuckin’ pretty,” is all he mutters before his hand pushes through your hair and he cups the back of your head. He pulls you into another kiss, his tongue wasting no time as it glides along yours. You moan against him sweetly as he lightly pulls on the strands. The sound must’ve spurred him on though, because he squeezes you over your bra once more. His insatiable fingers continue and your chest threatens to spill over the fabric cups.

You bring your hand over his and he immediately lets go of you. You shake your head with a grin, letting him know he didn’t cross any lines. Rather, you press on his fingers and make him hold you even tighter. He sighs into the kiss and digs harder into your smooth skin. Wanting to mimic him and clutch onto as much of him as possible, you push your palms flat to his chest and work them up towards his neck. You don’t even register the way you’re tugging at the neckline of his shirt until your thoughts slip and you mumble something against his lips.

“What was that?” Frank asks as he trails a finger down your cheek.

“Can… Can you take yours off too, please?” Your words come out as a whisper, your nerves acting up at the idea of asking that of him. He only smirks up at you before adjusting himself to sit up more against the couch.

“Guess that’s only fair, huh?” You watch as his hands come to the back of his neck, arms flexing as he pulls the shirt over his head and haphazardly drops it beside yours. When you see him shirtless for the first time, you’re pretty sure any thought you had–and ever will have–leaves your mind. Thick muscle wrapped in tan skin, broad shoulders that you’re certain would engulf you whole, and dark hair lining the skin under his belly button that trails below the waistband of his jeans.

“You alright there, kid?” he questions through a raspy chuckle. You hesitantly reach a hand out and lightly rest it over his heart. His chest is big and he fills your palm as his heart beats against your skin. You force your eyes to focus on his face again and he meets you with a confident smirk.

“You still with me?” His words are laced with a cocky tone and you don’t even give him the satisfaction of shrinking down again. Instead, you lean forward and wrap your fingers around his neck before kissing him harder than you ever have before. He grunts against your lips, his own hips bucking up as he tilts his head to deepen the kiss.

His hand wraps around to hold your lower back as he continues guiding your movements. With each roll of your hips into his lap, you feel his bulge against you. A wet gasp escapes you when you bump your clit on one particularly hard grind against him.

He feels harder underneath you each time you move, and it dawns on you what it actually means. He’s getting hard? Over me? The ever present voice sounds out again, words soaked in disbelief. Feeling more confident, you begin to buck your hips on your own as you grind faster against him. 

“Attagirl,” he praises, the kiss breaking once again due to his wide smile. He encourages your movements with one little word and his hand stops the push and pull, letting you move independently from him. He grazes his long fingers up your thighs before curling around, sliding his palms higher, and holding your ass in his big hands. Frank tilts his head to the side as he deepens the kiss and you feel the stubble scratching you, causing your hips to speed up of their own accord.

His bulge between your legs is warm–and admittedly thicker than you expected–which does nothing to help the burning at the pit of your stomach. You don’t think you’ve ever been this turned on before and Frank’s lips begin to wander, trailing down your neck. His teeth graze along your collarbone and your hands find their way to his hair. Brushing through the strands with a gentle pull at the ends, you push yourself harder into his lap.

He grunts before pressing his tongue flat to your skin, slowly licking his way up your throat and back to your lips. A curse slips from you and you shudder when you feel the cool air hit the wet patch he left behind. Cupping your cheeks in his large palms, he traces his tongue over your bottom lip before sinking his teeth into the soft skin. You whimper louder than you mean to, the sound causing Frank to tilt his head down and break the kiss. His forehead rests against yours as he pants gently, regaining his breath.

“You’re gonna be the death of me,” he whispers, dragging the tip of his nose down the bridge of your own. You giggle at his exasperated tone from the makeout session and rub your hands down his neck to his shoulder blades. The muscle is noticeable despite him not flexing and your mind starts down a path that you’re certain would do no good right now. Images begin to flash through your mind: Frank on top of you, your nails scratching down his back, his fingers tightening around a headboard. You give yourself a mental shake and bring yourself back to the present.

“What time is it?” you ask softly. Frank raises his arm up, checking the little display of his watch. Once you catch a glimpse of the digital numbers, you perk up as your eyes go wide.

“Shit, I gotta go,” Frank looks up at you confusedly as you speak. “The bonfire…” you trail off, hoping to jog his memory.

“What? No, you just got here, c’mon,” he groans. His arms wrap around your back and he tightens his hold while resting his head against your chest. With a wide smile, you brush your palms against the short hair at the back of his head.

“Frank, I’ve been here almost an hour,” you explain through a chuckle. He hesitantly looks up at you, his eyebrows pulled together and confusion clearly written all over his face.

“Really? I didn’t even notice…”

“Spent all that time when I first got here just talking. It’s your fault!” You tease him and his features soften.

“Well how was I supposed to know I had all this waiting for me if I shut up?” He pulls you snuggly towards his body and you feel the heat coming back to your cheeks. You shake your head when he drapes your arm back around his neck, his charm threatening to work on you once again.

“I gotta get ready,” you explain but make absolutely no attempt to leave your spot on his lap.

“Do you have to? You look great just like this,” his fingers idly move up and down your thighs. You find his little touches comforting and the butterflies flutter to life at his soft spoken compliment.

“My hair is a complete mess, thanks to you,” you scoff, “and I need to change.” You’re still in your outfit from work and want to wear something more comfortable, and warm, for tonight’s get together. Frank pouts as you speak but begrudgingly lets go of you, his hand keeping a hold of yours as you stand. You reach for your shirt and quickly pull it back on over your head and there’s a great, big sigh coming from him once your chest is covered.

Rolling your eyes at his theatrics, you run a hand through your hair in an attempt to look halfway decent. Turning to say one last thing before you leave, there’s a sight that makes your eyes widen as a chill rushes through you. Your hands clasp together over your mouth as you gasp, embarrassment settling in. Frank looks up cluessely at you, until he follows your gaze to his lap.

There’s a damp spot on his jeans, almost unnoticeable against the dark denim, but it’s clear what it is nonetheless.

“I’m so sorry! I didn’t think I’d—I’m sorry,” you swallow thickly, trying to find anything to say to fill the silence. He’s hardly moved since he first glared down at the stain on his pants; his chest heaving and jaw clenching as he takes in the sight in front of him. The air is so thick you think for half a second you might actually choke on it. The next thing you see is the bulge in his jeans twitching to the side faintly.

You feel as though you might double over and grab your stomach for balance. “Frank?” you ask gently, but he continues to breathe roughly. You can’t even possibly begin to decipher what’s going on inside his head.

“Don’t ever gotta apologize for that,” he finally speaks up. His voice is gravelly and his jaw is clenched. He takes a long inhale and you can see him physically shake off the tension. “But yeah, you… You should probably change.” His normal cocky smirk is back in place and you smile, relieved.

Leaning over him, you press a brisk kiss to his cheek as a goodbye. You mutter one last apology against his skin before slipping out the door and shouting a farewell over your shoulder.

The entire car ride home you feel your skin buzzing. You’ve never felt so giddy in your life and you’re not exactly sure how you’re supposed to keep this excitement to yourself. Part of you wants to scream out from the rooftops just to let the energy out but you also haven’t exactly talked with Frank about if this is something to share outside the two of you.

The ride home is a total blur and before you know it you’re pulling into your spot at your apartment. Dropping your bag by the door, you make your way straight to the bathroom. After accessing the damage that Frank left with his greedy touch, you quickly begin to try and make yourself look slightly presentable.

Surprisingly, you’re almost ready when your friend sends the message to inform you that she’s arrived at your place. All you’re missing is socks, shoes, and jacket, which by your standards, is pretty good. You brush your fingers through your hair one more time, trying to get it to lie a bit neater. With one last glance over in the mirror, you shrug and decide it’s good enough given the time crunch.

Shoving your shoes on and rushing out the door with your jacket folded over your arm, you reach her car door and climb in. She begins to drive down the street, turning down familiar roads to the place where you usually gather for this sort of thing. She fills the car ride with her stories all about her day, her rude coworker, and the new guy she’s seeing. You nearly speak up when she gets to that last topic of conversation. It would be nice to finally be able to relate to something, but you know that what you and Frank have isn’t even serious. Or at least, that’s what you tell yourself as you bite your tongue and keep quiet.

The sound of gravel crunching under the tires reaches your ears and you perk up when you realize you’re finally here. After closing the car door and walking up to the fire pit, you notice your other friends already gathered around it. They greet the two of you kindly and pull you into hugs. You smile through the welcoming and scan their faces to check for Frank, but he’s not there.

Minutes pass and you find yourself pulling your phone out of your pocket to check the time every now and then. You watch as the sunset sinks below the horizon. It paints the sky a dusty orange before mixing and settling into soft pastel streaks of light. You’ve been here over half an hour and still there’s no sign of him. You get the courage to speak up and ask about him.

“Is Frank coming? I know he’s not usually on time but…” There’s a small chuckle sounding out from someone already a few drinks in.

“He texted me saying he forgot it was tonight. Should be here soon,” one of Frank’s closer friends, Curtis, replies to you. That’s weird, you think as you pout and wrap your arms around yourself. You wonder why he gave that excuse and what must’ve come up to deter him from getting here. It does little use, but you try to shake off the worry and focus on being in the company of the people you love.

You’re laughing loudly at a joke when you hear some light cheers and quickly turn around at the sound. Frank’s walking up slowly, shaking his head as the small group rags on him for being late. He scoffs, scratching at the back of his neck before being pulled into a few hugs by his friends. You’d give anything to rush over and pull him into an embrace as well, but you decide to not just run with your emotions.

Once Frank is sitting back in an old lawn chair and everyone is officially accounted for, Curtis lights the fire. It’s tradition to wait until everybody is together before setting the wood alight. There’s a moment of quiet crackling but before long the flames are roaring to life. You’re the first to walk up to it, stretching your arms out and melting at the warmth enveloping you when suddenly, there’s a nagging feeling in your head and you look over your shoulder to satisfy the small itch.

Frank’s eyes are glaring into your side, his expression hard and difficult to pinpoint. He’s holding his chin up in his hand and his eyes slowly begin to rake down your frame before shooting back up to your face. The lights and shadows from the flames dance across his features and you swear you notice his nose scrunch up for a second when his teeth sink into his lower lip.

A shiver runs down your neck and it’s not born from excitement like before. He looks absolutely pissed and you force yourself to look back at the charred wood. It could have absolutely nothing to do with you, you try to reason with yourself. But you’ve always been one to look for a flaw in yourself when someone’s upset, and no amount of logic can take away that instinct reaction.

The only thing you can think of is the mess you unintentionally left on him. He seemed okay when you left, but maybe that really bothered him. Whatever it was, he was definitely more cold than he was just hours ago and you wish he’d stop staring and talk to you already.

You plaster on a fake smile when your friend asks what’s wrong and insist that you’re fine. You mutter some excuse about the air being chilly and she finds a spare blanket to wrap you up in. When you steal a glance at Frank, you notice him acting in complete opposite of how he was moments before. He’s back to all smiles, holding his chest as he throws his head back laughing. You feel some of your own tension leaving at the sound of his cackling but you can’t help but wonder why that cold gaze was directed towards you.

The sky eventually begins to settle into the comforting deep blue and the fire shows no signs of dying out. You notice the cooler of beer sitting open and decide to walk over and grab one. Glancing down at the label, you notice it’s not the one Frank introduced you to. With a mental shrug you crack it open and toss it back without thinking. The flavor hits your tongue and it surprises you how much smoother it is than your first drink.

You get lost in the overlapping chatter of conversations and begin drinking more now that you’ve found a taste that’s enjoyable. The time passes and you slowly feel yourself relaxing more as the weight of the bottle in your hand gets lighter. It’s not enough to make you feel without control of your actions, but it definitely is enough to give you a buzz.

Eventually the chill of the night breeze picks up, and you begin to notice some people cuddling up to their partners. A few cuddle on a picnic blanket lying on the ground, some sit in each other’s laps. Regardless, you feel that uneasy sensation of being a spectator rising up again. You fidget with the bottle in your hand as you try and not compare yourself to the other couples when the sound of someone clearing their throat makes you look up.

Frank is sitting in his chair like before but this time his legs are spread wide apart. You lock eyes with him and he glances at his lap before looking back to your face. He runs a large hand down the length of his thigh, smoothing the fabric of his jeans, and it seems as though he’s presenting you a seat. You swallow thickly and make your way over to him, standing right at his knees.

“C’mon, it’s too cold,” he mumbles under the background noise of layered voices. You nod as he takes your hand, leading you to sit down on his legs. He’s quickly adjusting the blanket and draping it back over your shoulders before pulling your side into his chest. Your head aligns perfectly in the crevice of his collarbone and his body heat completely engulfs you. To say you’re happy you get to be close to him would be an understatement; you’ve been waiting for this all night but not sure if he’d make the move with an audience.

Each time he speaks, you feel his chest rumble against your cheek. His beating heart sounds out against your ear and you feel his fingers rubbing over your back. The warmth of his thick thighs underneath you remind you yet again of what occurred just a short while ago. You nuzzle your face into his shirt to hide from the thoughts consuming your mind, and he just continues talking while brushing over your side. Raising the bottle to your lips, you take another swig and swallow it down with a hum. Frank looks down at you and watches as you sit up higher against his chest to speak to him.

“Whatever’s in this is waaaaay better than what you gave me,” you whisper into his ear. Your voice isn’t slurred but it’s uneven in pitch, and he snorts–you’re pretty sure that’s your new favorite sound–before nodding.

“I’ll make sure to remember that, sweetheart.” His mouth is near your jaw and the breath fans over your neck. He didn’t even say anything sexual but that all-too-familiar warmth comes to life in the pit of your stomach again.

“Can I tell you something?” you ask in a quiet voice.

“Hmm?” His eyes never leave your lips.

“I missed you,” you confess. His lips spread into a wide smirk and you continue. “I know it’s stupid cause I literally just saw you but…” you trail off, staring down at your legs draped across his. “I got a little lonely when you didn’t show.”

“Yeah, about that…” He chuckles dryly and looks away from you. 

“What?”

“Let’s just say that, uh, the problem you left on my jeans was the reason I was late.” He turns his head in the direction of the tall flames and his words slowly sink into your mind. Heat rushes to your cheeks and your stomach does a cartwheel as new images flash in your mind: Frank’s long fingers working the button of his jeans open, his fingers curled around his cock, head tilted back as moans fall freely from his mouth.

There has to be a work stronger than mortified to describe how you feel right now. You still can’t believe you did that earlier and now paired with his confession? You wouldn’t be surprised if you melted into a puddle of your own embarrassment and slipped away. That also explains that his look from earlier wasn’t anger, but something much deeper and faceted.

“What’s wrong, kid?” He must’ve noticed you tensing up in his hold.

“You shouldn’t have told me that,” you mutter. You’re almost certain you haven’t blinked since he told you. Frank bursts into loud laughter, causing a few others to look over at the sound. You can’t handle the new pairs of eyes on you and you wrap the blanket around you tighter as you turn away from their curious expressions.

The night grows colder as the hours pass and you don’t even realize that the flames have died down until a few people begin to stand up and stretch, saying they’ve got to head home. You sit up and rub at your eyes, blinking slowly at the few empty chairs and people waving goodbye.

“You okay if I drop you home?” Frank speaks up as he watches you pull yourself back together.

“Are you sure? Didn’t you have some drinks?” you ask through a yawn, your eyes scrunching closed.

“Nah, saw you drinkin’ when I walked up. Just had water tonight,” he explains. 

He helps you stand up, saying your collective goodbyes to the group, before walking you to his black van. You watch as he walks around to the passenger side, opening the door for you and making sure your seatbelt is buckled before dropping the blanket back in your lap. You’ve never had someone take care of you like this and you have to convince yourself he’s just being a friend to not put more emotions in his kind gestures.

You mumble directions to him as he drives, sneaking glances at his profile as he stares out at the open roads. The lights from the lampposts shine through the window, the shadows dragging across his features as he taps his fingers along to a song playing faintly on the radio. He engages the clutch as he brings the car out of gear, coasting to a red light.

“I have another question,” you say in a raspy tone. It’s the one thing about tonight you still can’t figure out.

“Sure are full of ‘em tonight,” he jokes as he turns to face you.

“The thing you said earlier, about why you were late?” you don’t dare to actually say it aloud. “I left a few hours before the fire started.” Frank shakes his head, biting the inside of his cheek as he stares at the scarlet glow of the traffic light.

“Tried a cold shower, sweetheart. Didn’t work,” he says simply. You don’t even say anything in response, just turn away from him and look out your window to avoid an even more awkward conversation. His chuckle sounds out in the small cabin of the van and you hate how your pulse speeds up.

“Just another left here,” you say after a while, directing him to turn into the neighborhood of your apartment. He parks along the curb with a clear view of your front door. The night is officially over and you want literally any excuse not to get out of this close space with him.

“Can I kiss you?” you ask in a small whisper.

“You don’t ever have to ask me that, kid.” You’re quick to unbuckle your seatbelt, leaning over and brushing your lips over his. Pausing for a second, you try to memorize the feeling of his breath fanning over your lips, before delaying the tease and pushing your mouth against his. He kisses back instantly and you suck his lower lip past your own. A not so stifled grunt escapes him and you smile knowing you can get to him in the same way he gets to you. You break the kiss and work your mouth down his chin and the underside of his jaw. He sighs heavily and suddenly places his big palm to your cheek, gently raising your face away from his throat.

“I can’t let you go any further,” he stares down at you. You sigh frustratedly between your teeth before sitting up with a groan. You pout at him and stare back at his lips, cursing the fact that you drank tonight.

“Oh, don’t give me that look. It’s late, you should head inside,” he nods towards the direction of your door. You hesitantly get out and drag your feet as you walk towards the small porch light. You unlock the door and look over your shoulder to see his van still parked. It isn’t until you step inside and shut the door that you hear the motor rev as he drives off.

You stumble into your apartment, brushing your hand against the wall until you miraculously flip the light switch on. You squint your eyes as you flinch away from the bright light and shuffle your feet forward down the hallway that leads to your bedroom. As you empty your pockets and drop your bag to the floor, you make your way towards the connecting bathroom.

Another yawn overcomes you as you struggle with taking your top off, your head getting lost in the mess of fabric. The jeans come off next and you try your hardest to hold onto the countertop before inevitably losing your balance as you try to pull your feet through the cuffs at the end of your pants. You try to breeze through your routine of getting ready for the night and eventually you're sinking into the soft mattress of your bed.

Three consecutive buzzes sound out as your phone vibrates on your nightstand, the display shining in the dark bedroom. You reach for it blindly and see text messages from your friend that drove you tonight.

“Did you get home okay?”

“Since when do you drink?”

“Also what is with you and Frank?” Oh no. A fourth one comes in as your phone vibrates in your hand.

“You have to tell me everything!”

Taglist: @chellestrash @suitsofwo3 @avengerstower-houseplant @musicals-and-mermaids @castle-of-ruin @justalittlepickle @boo8008 @doublevirgogirl

[such-expensive-mistakes]

Superpham AU (part 7)

Masterpost

A short one today, but I thought this section was funny (until it got sad again).

-----

It’s a quiet evening in the Lane-Kent household: Lois is trying to turn her notes into an article, Clark is going over Jon’s math homework, and Jon is watching a show Lois is only half-following.  It features lots of gunfire and explosions, though Lois’s— unfortunately extensive— experience with witnessing real violence makes the version on TV look cartoonish.  She suspects that is part of the show’s appeal.

Danny is paying about as much attention to the TV as Lois is, engrossed in something on his phone.  At least he’s in the same room as the rest of them, instead of sequestering himself away.

“Hey Lois?” Danny suddenly asks.

Lois looks up from her work.  “What’s up?”

“Did you know the internet thinks you’re Superman’s girlfriend?”

Lois knows that if she looks at Clark, he’ll be turning red, the way he always does whenever this particular subject comes up.  Lois herself is barely holding back a laugh.  Jon’s wrinkling his nose, looking thoroughly embarrassed by his parents.

“Well, I am,” she says, barely keeping herself composed.

“No, I mean—” Danny begins.

“You mean people say that I’m dating Superman and married to Clark?”  Lois glances at Clark, who is now hiding his face in his hands.  “Someone forgot to check for cameras after rescuing me a few years back, and we got caught kissing on film.  It was let people think Superman is a homewrecker or let them think I’m in a polyamorous relationship with my husband and his alter ego.”  

“That’s… really weird.”  Danny is giving her the kind of judgmental look only teenagers can give.  

Lois does laugh at that.  “It is, a bit.  But it helps protect Clark’s secret identity, so I don’t mind.”

“Don’t listen to her,” Clark finally says.  “There were other ways to handle that situation; she just thinks this is funny.”

“Even your parents think it’s funny,” Lois says.  Clark just sighs, faux-aggrieved.  

“It’s not even the weirdest thing on the internet about Superman,” Danny says.  “It’s just the weirdest thing everyone agrees is true.”

“Please do not tell me what else you’ve found,” Clark says.  

“You can tell me,” Lois says.  “We can just make Clark leave for a bit.”  Reading conspiracy theories about Superman is her guilty pleasure, though if anyone asks, she does it to keep tabs on anyone who might have a viable way of hurting him.  

Danny just laughs, and something in Lois’s chest seizes up.  Is this the first time she’s heard him laugh since he came back?  She thinks it might be.

She doesn’t want to call attention to it; like as not, that would just make him pull away again.  Instead she says, “Superman doesn’t even get the best conspiracy theories.�� Those are all Batman.”  That’s because Bruce purposefully cultivates them, of course, but that’s not important.

“Which one is he, again?” Danny asks.  

It’s not that Lois ever forgets that Danny has spent most of his life in another dimension.  But little offhand comments like that… they really drive it home.  There are plenty of superheroes, even Justice League members, that most of the general public has never heard of— but Batman is not one of them.

She's saved from answering by Clark.

"You'll meet him eventually," Clark says.  "He's a good friend of mine.  And Jon and Kon are close to his two youngest sons, Robin and Red Robin."

Danny nods thoughtfully.  "Right.  I think Red Robin's in the group chat Kon added me to."

Lois reminds herself to thank Kon next time she sees him.  He and Danny seem to have connected, and Kon seems to have made it his personal mission to keep Danny from slipping too far into one of his funks again.

"Speaking of Kon," Clark begins.  "Ma and Pa want to know when we'll be able to make it to Smallville to visit."

They've been trying not to overwhelm Danny by introducing him to too many new people at once, but maybe that was the wrong choice.  Maybe they should be pushing him to get out more, to connect with this dimension.  Besides, Kon spends most of his time in Smallville, and they already know that he and Danny get along.

Lois re-evaluates the article she’s been working on.  Perry would probably appreciate it sooner rather than later, but if she turns in a smaller article this week, she can probably swing a weekend off.  If not, she can always work on it from Kansas.

“This weekend should work,” Lois says.  “If that’s alright with you, Danny.”

Danny looks a little surprised to be consulted.  “I— yeah, that works.  Not like I have anywhere else to be.”  He laughs a little, but the joke falls flat, and Lois resolves to double down on helping Danny connect with more people here in this dimension.

[pbnbucks]

Kate x Reader!

Strangers, Friends, Lovers, Strangers Again.

word count : 1733

warnings : sad, non happy ending, cursing, crying, toxic relationship, cheating

summary : basically the title, you and kate met when it was your 3rd year and her 6th… once kate was drafted your relationship completely fell apart

From Strangers…

flashback:

after a long day you’re finally walking up the stairs to the top floor to get to your dorm and when you think your day can get any worse you feel a sharp hit in your shoulder, you turn your body to face a Tall, Blonde Woman. “watch where your going asshole” she rolls your eyes at you and you can tell bye her body language you just pissed her off even more then she already was “me watch out? your the one who bumped into me so cry me a river and get over it im not in the mood to deal with this shit right now” theres no way she just said that “are you serious? your mad cause you couldn’t watch where your going? get over yourself and just watch where your going next time” you turn around and walk away hearing her mumble something under her breath. when you thought your night couldn’t get any worse it just did.

To Friends…

flashback:

your close friend has recently been complaining about you being distance and lonely which you didn’t mind but she wanted to see you, so she invited you to the bar with her. “so whats been going on recently you’ve been so distant” and she was right honestly, you have been so busy with school recently to notice that you’re taking her for granted, she is a great friend and you wish you have reached out more. “i know i know school has just been so busy and my annoying family sciences teacher has been so annoying and trying to fail me i’ve distanced myself from everyone.” you where trying to explain yourself but she just kept looking behind you “what?” you say trying to grab your attention “theres a tall blonde staring at you. change of words, you want to tell me who’s made you distant recently?” you shift your body around in you seat to look at who she was talking about and to your luck she was talking about the girl in the hallway from 2 weeks ago… “oh my gosh.. she walked right into me about 2 weeks ago and she had a terrible attitude as if it wasn’t her fault, i actually cursed her out when it happened shes probably still pissed.” she she just looked at you stupid “you know shes on the basketball team right? thats Kate Martin dude, she would probably beat your ass to be honest…” you immediately get offended and quickly back yourself up “come on now i would fuck her up easily, she stands no chance” she just smiles and nods at you comment “well why don’t you tell her that yourself she walking up to you.” your heart drops as you look back to Kate walking towards you just to look back to see your friend ditching you and walking to the bathrooms looking back at you just to laugh at you. you quickly try to get up just to be stopped by Kate in front of you not letting you leave. “look if you just here to complain-” she rolls her eyes at you “can you quit acting like your better then me for a second and hear me out?” you want to argue but just decide to cross your arms and let her talk. “look i just wanted to apologize for what happened and apologize for you bumping into me.” theres no way she could be serious. your whole face expression changes and she smirks knowing she had a impact on your emotions, she knows what shes doing. “so your telling me you came over to me just to state that it was my fault. your the most immature person i’ve ever met, now if you would move out my way so i can go back to my friend that would be lovely.” except she doesn’t move, nor does she remove her famous smirk from her face. “calm down im just messing with you. actually i was telling my friends about it and they where telling me i should get your number.” at first you thought she was joking but she was dead serious as she points to her friend group, you look over her tall frame to see a tall brunette, 2 tall light skins, one with pretty eyes and the other with a low slick back bun, and a bunch of other tall blondes. you debate on giving her number but eventually give in. “now when i text you, you better text me back, i know where you live.” you laugh at her statement watching her walk away staring at her for a moment to turn back to see your friend walking back. “so how’d it go?” “you wont believe it” you turn around to look at her and you see her, and the group of girls your with staring at you and your friend then turn there heads to quickly look away “so first she…”

Friends Into Lovers….

flashback:

Kate💙 6:43

can you come over? i

want to talk to you. you

yea of course! omw.

Kate💙

text me when your

outside.

you

i will im about

5 mins away.

read 6:45

you aren’t confused or concerned because this isn’t a un normal thing with Kate. she often asks you to come over to either watch movies, help with homework, or just because shes bored and wants to see her best friend.

kate’s POV:

“caitlin what if she says no and gets weirded out” i look at my room to see the poster i made on my bed filled with pictures of me and my best friend throughout the 3 months surrounding the big red words saying ‘will you be my girlfriend?’ my hearts pounding thinking about the worst thing she can say. “Kate shes not going to say no you guys already act like a married couple there is no way in a million years she would say no.”

Y/N 👅❤️

im walking up the stairs

right now. kate💙

alright my doors unlocked

sent 6:58

“caitlin shes here i have to hangout up.” “alright Kate just remember she will say yes just be confident.” i say bye as i hang up on her.

your POV:

you open her door to see her pacing around her dorm. “Kate are you okay? what happened?” the looks at you shaking and you can see that shes obviously nervous about something “i need to show you something.” she says quietly. “okay?” you follow behind her trying to hope that she will return back to her normal self. she opens her bedroom door to a big poster with pictures and words on it that you cant quite make out but as soon as you get closer she grabs it and holds it up so you can see. in bright red words it reads ‘will you be my girlfriend?’ you stand there in shock with your mouth open not knowing what to say other then just freaking out because its her. of course you want to be her girlfriend. “so will you?…” a big smile forms onto your face and you burst out laughing. “of course i will Kate oh my gosh your so cute.” she lets go of the breath she didn’t even know she was holding. she walks up to you giving you a big hug not letting go for at least a minute and you pull away to see the board laying down on her bed again, you see multiple pictures that there where surprisingly so many pictures of you together in only the span of 3 months. “oh my gosh i remember that, thats when i suprised you at your opening game of the season. who even took a picture of that?” she started to blush trying to hide her face “i think everyone took a picture of that moment but im pretty sure i used gabbies.” you pull her into a side hug finally feeling whole again now that you finally didn’t have to worry about someone else being her peace.

And Strangers Again.

present:

you woke up to your phone blowing up with 35 messages and calls from friends, family, and Kate. you knew it couldn’t be something good. you open your friends text first

look at your tagged post

on instagram y/n.

okay? whats going on?

just look.

read 1:34

you open instagram to 569 notifications from being tagged in a post followed by Kate and a few of her teammates being tagged in it also. the video started of slow with her teammate Kelsey in a bar talking in the video on a live and then she adjust the camera frame only to see your girlfriend and her teammate aja Wilson in the background of the live kissing on each other with their other teammates surrounding them. you should’ve expected it would happened and part of you did since she was drafted but you didn’t want to believe Kate could ever be like that. you tried to look for a mistake in the video hoping it could be editing or she could just be in a weird position of hugging or anything else, but it was obvious that they where making out in front of 160k people on the live, it was humiliating not only for you hut the entire team as well. as soon as Kelsey saw what she just did she moved them out the camera frame and ended the live. you went to your texts to see 26 missed texts from Kate.

Kate💙

its not what it looked like.

please just text me when

you get this please.

im sorry please just text me.

hello?

sent: 12:15

look baby please just

awnser me i get your

upset but i need

you to awnser.

im so sorry it wasn’t

supposed to happen like

that.

sent 12:34

i know your getting

my text can we just talk.

bro.

sent 12:46

i think its safe to

say that we need to

break up

read 1:43

please just call me

and we can talk it out

you cant be serious.

Kate we are over, your

probably with her right

now so please stop

texting me

Blocked 1:45

you guys where only together for almost 7 months it shouldn’t hurt this much right?

[judeswhore]

u and jude not being able to stand each other but still hooking up on the dl bc no matter how annoying the other is, u can’t deny that the sex is amazing. but one thing that u promised yourself is that you’d never boost his ego bc u already think he’s cocky enough, so u always try to refrain from letting him know how good he makes u feel cuz it’ll go to his head🫢

so one time u guys are going at it and you are literally going dumb from how good it is and he can tell that ur liking it so he’s being all annoying and teasing you. and eventually when ur close to the most intense orgasm of ur life to pull out and he’s like why and u don’t wanna admit the real reason so ur like “cuz i said so” and he knows why ur asking him to so he’s winding u up until eventually u blurt out that it’s cuz ur about to squirt. so after you guys have finished, he is being the biggest pain in the ass and ur annoyed bc there is nothing u can say or do to even convince him that the sex was mid

the two of u have just never gotten along despite having been in the same friend group for so many years and everyone has just accepted that the two of u have this weird hatred towards the other and love bickering and arguing over literally everything so they barely even bat an eyelash anymore. but despite always arguing and saying how much u hate each other the tension and attraction has always been obvious until it got to a point u couldn’t deny it anymore and after a few drinks one night u ended up sleeping together and after that it just became routine. but u still maintain the fact u dislike each other and it kinda makes the sex hotter bc you’ll both constantly tease the other abt “thought u hated me? why’re u begging for it then” and for some reason it just makes everything a lot more intense and even a little more fun?

but u hate letting jude know that he’s the best person you’ve ever slept with and that he makes u feel so good so ur always acting so nonchalant afterwards, leaving straight away and acting like it’s no big deal and like the sex was mediocre. or you’ll slip in a comment abt how “ur effort was poor this time it was kinda disappointing” even tho ur lying through ur teeth. then one night after you’ve spent a little while apart ur making up for that lost time and hes already made u cum a handful of times on his fingers and tongue so ur completely fucked out and so overly sensitive. he’s got u spread out on his bed, up on his knees a little between ur legs so he can watch the way ur whole body shakes and he’s got one hand pressed against ur lower tummy to apply pressure while he rubs his thumb over ur clit and he’s teasing u so much abt how ur crying and the mess you’ve made and “babe, c’mon ur squeezing the life outta my cock what happened to still hating me?” and ur just whining a little, nails biting into his forearm in retaliation. but the way he’s fucking u and the angle and his hand on u has ur pleasure at its peak and u recognise that it feels different than usual and u know ur abt to squirt and u really don’t want to give him that satisfaction bc you’d previously told him he’d never be able to get u to. so ur gasping a little and telling him to pull out, trying to push his palm away from ur tummy to ease up on the pressure but he’s just cocking his head a little and asking why w this shit eating grin bc he knows ur body better than u do and he can tell this orgasm is gna be a lot stronger than ur others.

he’s just leaning down over u, pace never faltering while he’s all “stop being stubborn and give it to me. let go, baby” and in between he’s mumbling little things to wind u up abt how he knows he’s fucking u good and that there’s no way u hate him as much as u say when ur creaming all over his cock and those little mocking phrases paired w the way he’s fucking u has u tumbling over the edge and u end up squirting a little and he’s just so cocky and full of himself over it, continuing to wind up up over how badly he effects u. and then afterwards ur going through the usual routine of acting like it wasn’t the best sex of ur life while getting ready to leave but ofc he’s having none of that and he’s just teasing u abt the mess u made and how u ruined his sheets and that u got so loud he’s sure the neighbours heard and u just know he’s never gna let it go

[celestialtarot11]

How to Turn Your Situation Into Something Positive 🍵💗

Hi friends! Welcome to another PAC reading where we’ll be looking at how to transform any current situations you’re in! Keep in mind there are many different groups here and there will be messages which you won’t resonate with, just leave it for someone else 😊❤️ Please like, comment and reblog to share the love ☮️

Pile 1 🌟- Hi there pile 1’s! Someone definitely did ya’ll dirty in a situation and it left you feeling sad and lonely. A loss was created because someone handled a situation unfairly, and you’ve been feeling very down. This situation felt like it was weighing on your chest, and possibly there was a misunderstanding of feelings, or someone took something the wrong way and blew up here. And I feel like you took the brunt of the situation for a long time. I feel like this is something that was happening for a long time, and you’ve been wanting justice to come to this situation, or karma to hit that person to show them where they went wrong. Its also very possible for some of you this person reached out and reignited those triggers and you’re finding it difficult to be compassionate towards them. Your anger is understandable and so are your triggers, I feel like spirit is saying it’s important to know your boundaries in this situation and have your back. Look after you first. There are/were people who benefitted from you having no boundaries because they liked the feeling of power, and that needs to change. There’s this feeling of stepping up or no longer accepting their bullshit, which I’m so proud of you pile 1! Know your worth and value. Thats how you turn this situation into a positive one. Knowing your true worth and value will help you walk away from anything that is less than what you want. This person could be bread-crumbing you and as of now you’re done with that energy! Im also hearing whilst its very understandable you’d wish someone their own karma, spend your time wishing yourself the blessings you’ve always wanted instead. Feed yourself empowerment and start thinking “how can I support myself now?” be there for yourself pile 1, and also once you heal you begin to see a lot of things that you didn’t before. Within yourself and everyone else. Happy healing pile 1 💗🌟 Wishing you the best! Please like comment and reblog to support this blog ✨

Pile 2 ☮️- Hi there pile 2! ❤️🌟 Welcome to your reading. For you I see you need to distance yourself from a community or situation here and really really focus on your self confidence. Your esteem, body, and health. There’s something about getting your life in order and no longer letting external factors or people tell you what to do. Become your own boss in this situation. Some of you need to take an active role in this situation as well and know you’re the shit! 💗 like speaking up, setting boundaries, deciding what YOU’ll do, not focusing on them. You’re everything anyone could ever want, and some of you may have forgotten that. Your true power is meant to come out in this situation. What would help as well is remaining unbothered by this person or situation. I’m hearing it’s a silly situation, for some of you. Like petty high school drama. There could be someone trying to compete with you and show they are the best, but truthfully insecurities are loud, confidence is quiet. I’m hearing from spirit let them make a fool out of themselves because they are responsible for themselves only! What they say and what they do is on them. Continue working on yourself because I feel like whoever this is, is trying to undermine your confidence or skill, and you won’t stand for it and shouldn’t! 😤 I also feel like spirit will be giving you messages in your dreams about this situation so definitely sleep with amethyst, clear quartz or lavender herb under your pillow. If not allergic, drink lavender and chamomile before you bed ✨either way I feel like your presence is truly amazing and its like royalty, and what you need to know is that don’t give those haters your attention. Focusing on yourself is literally the best outcome here. Thank you pile 2’s! Please like comment and reblog to spread the love 💗🌹

Pile 3 ⌛️- Hi there pile 3’s! First of all I just want to ask if ya’ll are okay? 🥹❤️ Ya’ll seem to be going through it. Either a relationship with someone got unhealthy and controlling, or there has been a loss and you’re struggling to cope with it. Spirit is offering a lot of support and healing right now, and although you may not see it or feel it, spirit is protecting you heavily now. There’s a veil around you. I also feel that this ending was necessary because it was getting toxic, controlling and brought out the worse. I think someone here had to make a decision to choose themselves over toxicity. And it’s okay to hurt by that too. Honor and acknowledge your loss without shaming yourself for making the healthy choice 💗 I received the Queen Of Cups so I feel like there’s something about focusing on your growth and healing now. “Let growth be your mission. Let healing be your reward. Let freedom be your goal.” I love this quote and I go by it. Spirit wanted me to share it with ya’ll. I feel like ya’ll have been working on your healing for a long time and revisited something of the past, and its been tough processing it. In a way, its allowing this new version of you to come through and grow every time 💗🥹 This new version of you has a lot of emotional abundance and knowledge, and is definitely patient and caring. I feel like your higher self is coming through to also say it’s important to feed yourself kind words. If harsh words worked it would’ve worked a long time ago is what I heard too. Call yourself the names you wish to be called, like nicknames, talk gently, and use respectful words to yourself the way you would with anyone else ✨💗 I feel like you guys used to give everyone your secret wisdom, or the things you’ve healed from like all of that information, and now you are being asked to remain private and selective about it. This will help you a lot in this situation to focus on yourself. Thank you for being here pile 3 and I sincerely hope this helped you ❤️🌟 Please like comment and reblog to help this blog grow 🌟😊

Thank ya’ll for stopping by! Its highly appreciated and I really hope this PAC got ya’ll the clarity you needed ❤️🥹 Thank ya’ll for being here always.

Paid Readings 💗✨

[ikigaisvt]

seventeen as tropes – vocal unit

starring: jeonghan, joshua, jihoon, dokyeom & seungkwan + gn!reader / (mention of mingyu in dk's) words count: 3.5k in total (between 400 - 800 each, expect seungkwan's 1.3k..,,.,..,, dont comment on that pls) content: fluff, non-idol!au warnings: everything is soft tbh? skinship (cheek kiss, kissing, holding hands), teasing, pining, rivalry, shitty team mates/friends, crying, lots of blushing lmao, very very very very sappy note: seventeen as tropes has been sitting in my drafts since 2022 and i'm FINALLY letting it out,, i hope everyone enjoy it! i decided to post it by units or else the post would get Too long (i already went off on this one lmao) don't worry hhu unit and pfu unit is already in the making hehe >.< pls don't come for me if some members have more words than others! inspiration isn't going to be the same for every tropes so i hope everyone can keep that mind! minors can interact with this fic but please don't follow or i'll hard block you. ignore any mistakes pls my brain is Dead rn,,, pls enjoy this piece of mine and don't forget to leave a like/reblog/comment! mwah mwah mwah good reading~

Jeonghan: Blind date

Jeonghan never loses bets and everyone in his friend group knows that which is why no one ever makes bets with him. He is just an extremely lucky person and he can always get his way out of any situation; expect when the person he made a bet with is Joshua – I taught him too well, he thinks to himself. It’s all because of a lost bet that he finds himself going on a blind date on this Thursday afternoon. That was the bet – to go on a blind date with someone the other picked. To say he was nervous was an understatement. All he’s hoping for is that Joshua didn’t prank him and sent like Seungkwan as his date. That would be awkward, he thinks as he makes his way quicker to the café.

As for you? Well, here you are, waiting for Joshua’s friend in this new café that opened in the neighbor. You don’t really know what went through your mind when you agreed to this blind date; something about Joshua’s words, probably. He can be a bit too convincing at times, something he apparently learned from this special friend – Jeonghan. You’ve never met the guy but oh have you heard countless stories about him. You know he’s one of Joshua’s closest friends so maybe you won’t get a relationship out of this but you will be able to talk about Joshua’s weird antics – in hopes Jeonghan isn’t worse, somehow, than your best friend.

You’re lost in your thoughts when a voice softly calls your name. You look up to see the most beautiful man ever and he quickly introduces himself as Jeonghan, as he sits down in front of you. You don’t really notice how Jeonghan looks at you, like you’re the most beautiful human he has ever seen or how a slight blush creeps up on his ears. And Jeonghan doesn’t notice the blush on your cheeks or how you slightly smile to yourself every time he tells you something. You two talk for hours; complaining about Joshua’s behavior – and you don’t let Jeonghan get away with turning him into a little devil, talking about how cute Sylvanian families are – he even shows you the ones he has, he rants about Legos, too, while he lets you tell him about that last book you read – something about a fae prince and a human falling in love. The staffs at the café breaks you both out of your conversation, letting you know they are closing in 10 minutes – it’s only when she comes around that you realize you are the only customers left. You quickly gather your stuffs, expecting to say goodbye to Jeonghan in front of the café but he naturally walks you back to your place. It’s when you’re leaned on your front door that he asks for your number – I thought he would never make a move, and he promises to see you soon before leaning in to give you a kiss on your cheek. It’s only when Jeonghan leaves you that he realizes luck was, once again, on his side.

Joshua: Coworkers

You’re very grateful for your coworkers at your new job. It’s only been a few months since you joined the finance team at this new company but everyone treats you like you have been part of the team for a long time. Everyone helps you out in new tasks, especially Joshua. Whenever you have to do something you aren’t used to, Joshua comes running to help you out and he cheers you up every time you have a hard time. You never really questioned how he acts as you always thought he was just being nice – as he is with anyone else. However, as your coworkers have known him longer than you, they know how you always get a special treatment from him; he makes you coffee when you start working and after lunch, he brings you your favorite chocolate, he prints out your folders for you and makes sure you always have your favorite pens working. His crush on you is known to everyone but you.

That all comes to light on a company dinner where Joshua special dots on you even in a restaurant far from work – he gets you food, fills up your plate and your glasses, lends you his jacket when you get cold and even offer to walk you home. All of these little attention gets him teased by your coworkers while you are still as oblivious as before. Joshua wears a profound blush on his ears all night but once again, you still don’t notice the pink tint of his ears (you honestly think it’s a cause of his drinking) and Joshua is entirely too happy about you being so clueless.

A few hours later he walks you home – as he promised. However, you surprise him by asking why everyone was teasing him back there. He stumbles on his words, the blush going to his cheeks until he finally admits it’s because he has a crush on you ever since you walked into the office on your first day. And now you’re the one with the blush, stuttering an answer – I like you too, but Joshua takes you by surprise by kissing you.

Jihoon: Acquaintances

You have known Jihoon since middle school; he was just always around in your group of friends and yet you didn’t know him at all. All you knew about him is that he liked music and as much as you thought he was nice, you never thought about making friends with him – if you didn’t all this time, why now? But when you’re in your first year of college, walking into your liberal arts class and you see only one familiar face – Jihoon’s, you walk up to him because it’s always good to know someone in every classes – to get notes or for future project.

So, you put on your best smile, sit down next to him – hope to god he remembers you – while starting to rant about how glad you are he’s here. However, all you’re met with is a blushing and stuttering Jihoon; “Sorry, I- uh- I forgot to water my dog- I mean, no- Forgot to give water to my dog! Bye!” before he runs out of the auditorium. It’s an understatement to say you are confused about his behavior, hoping he doesn’t secretly hate you – and is currently at the college’s administration to beg for a transfer. He’s cute, after all.

Next week, you are standing in front of the door of that same auditorium wondering if you’re going to find Jihoon in there. You don’t give yourself time to run away, pushing the door open and promising yourself to try and make a friend in this class today. You sit down, not trying to find Jihoon among the students. You didn’t even finish pulling out your laptop that the chair beside you is pushed back – Someone sat down next to me! – and you look to see who your new best friend is, only to see Jihoon looking at you, smiling. He greets you, asks you how your morning went before apologizing for last week – something about him being stressed. You let him know it’s alright – you can’t just hold grudges against him. And he’s cute today too. That’s how you two become friends after more than 10 years of being in each other’s life – or like background. And so, because Jihoon never feels like he apologizes enough, he does anything you ask of him for weeks: he buys you food, lends you his notes, makes you playlists but most importantly, when you ask to see his studio, he accepts.

On a Friday night, he picks you up and you two walk together to the studio, as you ask him about music – all these years, you always saw him with a guitar or humming songs and yet you never knew how it all started. And so, he answers all your questions, he talks, again and again, he tells you everything because it’s you. When you get to the studio, you walk around, touching every instrument, asking more questions while he sets up his computer. He goes out for a moment – letting you know you can play around on his computer – to pick up dinner at the fast food down the street. Of course, you take his offer, settling down on his chair and you open Youtube, play some songs before trying to make a simple track. It’s when you open his files to add one of his samples that you stumble across a file named after you; you can’t resist the urge to open it, finding songs after songs – Run to you, Darl+ing, Lean On Me, Adore U.

Jihoon comes in a few minutes after, the computer still shining with all these songs. And that’s when he knows – he knows he can’t hide it anymore, he knows all these years he spent at a distance from you can’t happen again, he knows he has to tell you. So, he tells you – he never talked this much in a night – he tells you he always liked you, he never forgot that first day he saw you in middle school, he explains how much he tried to not be in your life but he always felt himself be pulled in. He confesses that’s how he started music – because nothing but this could describe what he feels in his chest when you’re there. And you have tears in your eyes, you feel like your heart is going to implode from the love he gives you and you tell him; someway, somehow, your life has always felt empty when he was missing. When college came around you were scared you were never going to see him again. So, when you saw him, you knew this was destiny. You knew the world pulled strings for you two. (You spend the night at his studio, listening to every song he made for you while you two build a new world together.)

Dokyeom: Love at first sight/Meet cute

Dokyeom knows it; he’s in love. Okay, he hasn’t been in love before but he is pretty damn sure if love is something then it’s this; your chest tightens, you feel tingles in your stomach and you can’t stop looking at everything they do. That’s what he feels right now, when he sees you reading your book in that coffee shop.

He’s here with his best friend who tries so hard to get his attention but nothing can make him look away. I’m not being a weirdo, he reassures himself. You’re just so pretty, sitting there while reacting to that book – at one point, he saw tears pooling in your eyes – while you sip on your tea, your headphones on. You stay there, reading away while he watches you, then stops looking when he feels like you’ll notice him but he finds himself looking at you soon enough, never being able to really stop.

It's when you get up, making your way to the bathroom that he breaks from his daze – I need to get a grip. So, he focuses on his best friend’s rant, listening, actually answering his questions. But when he misses you, he looks back to your spot only to find it empty, only your book left behind. He gets up immediately and make his way to your spot, not even caring about Mingyu’s complaint. He picks up your book – Me Before You, he reads – and hurriedly makes his way out of the café. As he looks around, trying to find you, he notices you at the end of the street, a few meters away, waiting to cross the road. He runs up to you, not wanting to let you get away and as he gets to your level, he gets weirdly nervous; it’s not like he’s gonna make any move, right? He lightly taps your shoulder to get your attention. You turn around, a natural smile hanging on your lips as an answer. Dokyeom feels his heart beat faster right away and he knows it’s not even the nervousness, it’s you – Hi, uh- I- I was in that café, he starts as he points behind himself, I think that’s yours, he says as he holds out the book between the two of you. Immediately, you react, your face twisting in something between surprise and gratitude as you grab it and you never stop thanking him, again and again, asking him how you can repay him. Nothing, he answers, stars in his eyes knowing he will never be that close to the sun again, just- enjoy that book, okay? he finishes, turning around to go back to his best friend and his cappuccino. He walks slowly, almost as he expects you to catch up to him, almost as he wants you to – and he does. It’s when he pulls the door of the café open that he feels a light touch on his shoulder, his body reacting to you before his eyes can even see you. His lips pull up, his eyes shine again and he turns around, his heart reacting the same way again, before you extend a piece of paper between your bodies, stuttering; You forgot something too, the blush on your ears deepens, my number.

Seungkwan: Rivals

Seungkwan has always loved badminton; at this point, he talks about it so often, the whole school knows. Which you might be bitter about – only because you don’t like sharing something in common with him – but it’s only normal people do know about it; after all, he’s the captain of the boy’s badminton team. Now, what people of this school don’t know is that there is also a girl’s badminton team in the school – however, they are about to know. You have been leading the team so well, even though it has only been two years since it first got together, that you now get to share the court in your school’s sports hall to practice with your girls. Your coach – which is also the boy’s team, also lets you know that you’ll be meeting the other team every 2 weeks for friendly matches so the girls could improve in their skills.

It's the next day when you walk onto the court, already prepared for practice – you just need to take care of a few things as you are the team captain. Unfortunately, you stumble onto Seungkwan when you least expect it – you thought the team had classes at this time (not that you know his schedule, of course). Seungkwan doesn’t understand what you’re doing on his ground and he asks you to leave or else he will tell the coach – as if he had any kind of weight on her. Go tell the coach I’m here, go, you scoff at him, knowing she will only let him know what’s really going on. A few minutes later he comes back, the coach by his side, as he rolls his eyes at, probably, the thought of sharing anything with you.

And that’s how the rivalry between the two of you gets worse – if that was even possible. Your team meet every other day, practicing side by side and sharing laughter – expect you and Seungkwan. You both make your possible to annoy each other – you take the best spot first, you help the coach, you give advices to his team mates, you even go as far as to use him as something not to do on the field. On his side, he refuses to say your name, he keeps reprimanding your girls, he even says how even a toddler could play better than you and even go as far as to flirt with your team mate. Fortunately, even through all this fight with him, you and your girls train hard and your skills are rapidly improving. Time passes by so fast and it’s already time for your first match against the boys. You gather your team, let them know you believe in them and to not get intimidated by their playing – they are going to play hard and we need to hit back as much as them. It’s when Seungkwan sees you like this, so serious, so sure of yourself and so proud of your team, even when they lose points that he notices you in a different way. The way you burn with passion and yet how your eyes still shine with love when one of your team needs words of encouragement. He didn’t think he would ever feel like this but right now, you are distracting him from the match. And nothing, distract him from badminton.

The match is fierce, the room is burning with pride and want for the win; which the girls get. You cheer again and again, even the boys are congratulating your team – only Seungkwan doesn’t as he gathers his stuff and leaves first – which somehow, stings. You think it’s because his pride is hurt but it’s only because he can’t bear to see you anymore when he feels like this – heart fluttering, lips forming into a smile – at the sight of you.

The training keeps going after that win, the matches too; you keep annoying him and he does too, even though is comments are more helpful than anything; don’t do it like this, you’ll get hurt or even tell them to coordinate their moves, it will make them better – but you don’t notice, you only do the contrary of what he wants you to. The 5th match comes faster than any of you expect and you fight for the win with your team – you haven’t won these past 3 ones and it’s taking a toll on the team spirit – but the luck isn’t on your side when you sprain your ankle. The match stops as soon as you yelp, your team mates too surprised to react right away. Through the pain, you open your eyes when you feel a hand touch at your ankle delicately, trying to evaluate how hurt you are. You expect to see your coach but you meet a pair of brown worried eyes – Seungkwan. Are you hurt somewhere else? he asks softly, before turning around and telling everyone else to give you space, talk to me, please, he pleads, his big brown eyes fixed on your face. The after shock of the fall passes by as you stutter; why do you care? before asking for two of your team members to help to the infirmary – the coach letting everyone know the match is postponed, as you go through the door.

A few hours later you’re sat down on the cold bed, waiting for one of your friends to get out of class so she can drive you home – two weeks without walking and a month with no badminton, at least, the nurse told you earlier, but please go see a doctor, she finished before leaving you alone in the room to rest. You’re lost in your thoughts when you hear a knock on the door, thinking it’s your friend that’s here to bring you back home – finally. You’re more than surprised when you’re met with Seungkwan’s figure at the door as he asks you if he can come in, which you answer with a nod. He walks in and sats down on the chair at the end of the bed; what did she say? he asks, nervous at the thought of talking to you normally – and also, at the thought of not seeing you for practice anymore. 2 weeks with crutches and a month without playing, at best, you whisper, trying to fight back the tears. Oh- I’m so sorry, he says, sounding sincere. It’s not like you have anything to do with that, you sneer, wiping a tear off your cheek, do you? He sits back, now realizing how far your rivalry had gone for you to thin he could hurt you; no, of course not. I would never, he says seriously, as he sits down at the foot of your bed. Yeah, sorry, you apologize, your voice breaking in the middle, I thought that was what we did. Hurt each other. He takes in your pain which is much more than physical right now; your heart is on the verge of breaking and it’s mostly because of him; Not anymore. I don’t want to do that anymore; he starts as you lookconfused by his words. So, he explains; how his aversion for you came to be because you were a better captain, how people compared you two together, how some of his old team mates wished to have you instead of him. How he found himself to be as admirative of you as people are, how he finally understood everyone when he saw you play, how badminton was made for you, the same way you were for him. How these feelings bloomed in a place he thought was burned by the spite of others. How he wishes he could take everything back but since he can’t how he hopes you can give him a chance to do better, in the future. So, you do; you hold his hand as you both stay silent; he starts to come up with way to fix your broken heart and you, coming up with a plan to keep the flowers blooming even in winter. Maybe love is the way to it all.

thank you so much for reading! leave me a like/reblog/comment if you want and you'll have my unconditional love forever 🫶

[ndl4l]

The fifth beta squad member.

This was requested but I accidentally deleted the ask! If this was your request, thank you so much for sending this, I had fun writing this and I hope you enjoy it! 🩷✨

Maybe you’ve joined after the first year, you’ve been friends with Chunks for a while and he thinks you’re funny and talented so he wants you to be a member.

Niko definitely arranges an interview for you.

Ask you weird questions like, have you ever been arrested? Are you allergic to anything?

Chunks yelling at him to behave

Aj and Kenny already love you, so they talk you up to Niko.

Kenny loves that you’re more shy and reserved like him, and makes Niko promise he won’t scare you away.

Aj’s argument being that you’re funny

So Niko is like “go on, tell us a joke then”

After officially becoming a member, Niko definitely gets a contract for you to sign, claiming everyone else did but they’re just fake terms he came up with

You confessed to being attracted to Sharky once, so he definitely puts something related to that, NO dating among members

You getting more brand deals than them, for beauty or skin care products

Aj definitely comments on all your posts cute supportive comments like get your bag girl or skin glowing

Niko comments mean things to be annoying. All that makeup and still ugly or face wash does nothing to you or couldn’t even pay me go buy these

When filming for the beta squad channel, they care more about your opinion and what you think so they make you come up with video ideas because yours get more views.

Sharky is always late so he gets you coffee or tea to not be mad at him

When filming collabs with famous people or not they for sure tease you for liking them and make silly comments throughout the whole video.

Trent definitely flirts with you and they never let it die. Like it’s been months after and they still bring it up, oh your boyfriend is playing today. Your boyfriend just scored. Can your boyfriend film with us again?

Filing something football related, like the extreme World Cup challenges they did and they bring him up a lot, you know who’s good at football? Y/n’s boyfriend.

You know who loves football? Y/n!

No I don’t!

I meant footballers

You’re filming a lie detector test video and Kenny asks if you think you’re better than them and you say no and it’s the truth so they get a little sad and hug you ‘cause they think they’re too mean to you and promise to treat you better

They don’t.

When filming challenge videos, you always win and Niko threatens to kick you out

Trivia questions and you outsmart them every single time and Chunks gets defensive because he doesn’t like not being the smartest one

You being taller than Aj and teasing him about it

Lots of bickering

They are not doing anything without you. Like Kenny gets ready for a date and he FaceTimes you to talk him up. You’re the only one Chunks invites at his family dinners. You’re the only one Sharky allows around his sisters

They are very protective of you. No one is good enough for you.

They have scared a guy you were seeing away before. And they’re like, you deserve better

Maybe when you were all living together you were the only one cooking so after moving out, they still come around for dinner. Uninvited

You always have a date for events. And you don’t even have to beg them to go. Kenny is the only one showing up every time, maybe Chunks.

You’re the first person Kenny hugs after winning his fight, and Niko gets jealous.

Streaming with Aj and playing video games a lot.

Maybe you cook for him ‘cause you don’t like him eating takeaways all the time

People referring to you as the mum of the group.

And you are. But they’re grateful to have you and you love them, so after getting more fame and more opportunities you never leave the group

Niko gives you a big speech and says you can leave at any point.

But you don’t, because you’re grateful to have them in your life and you know no matter what you do, it will never compare with being a part of their little group.

[howdoesagrapewrites]

Pavitr and Gaytari anon back, I’ve kept thinking about Tricycle all week tbh. Since your requests are open, could I ask for a sequel to tricycle h.aha poking fingers?

(I hope you’ve been having good days as well!)

𝙈𝙚𝙚𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙜𝙞𝙧𝙡𝙨

Cw: fluff, poly!fem!reader x Pavitr Prabhakar x Gayatri Singh, probably inaccurate description of how the spider people spend their days off, the squad meeting Gayatri and Y/N

Notes: I'm delighted people were so receptive to that fic, I had a lot of fun writing it<3 thank you for your support!!

>Pavitr had of course told everyone about you two

>And while some were just touched by the deep affections of the lover boy, like Gwen or Jessica, others (Miguel) would appreciate if he shut up about his partners while important reunions

>"This is not the subject, please stop interrumpting, if it's so important to everyone to meet Pavitr's partners, please plan it outside of this and cut it"

>So the core four followed Miguel's advice and went to Mumbattan to meet the people his friend was always gushing about

>However, Pavitr had to find a good excuse to avoid telling you he was spiderman and explain where did he meet such a... Colorful group

>You and Gayatri knew he was Spiderman but honestly you wouldn't tell him, he's probably so proud he'd been able to keep it a secret:(

>So he said these are his work colleagues :3 you know, from the part time job he obviously has and always lines up with spiderman's public apparitions and never ever comes up? :3

>he's such a terrible liar omg

>"What do you think he means by work colleagues? More spidermans?" You asked, getting dolled up with your girlfriend for the meeting

>"Maybe, or maybe they're other heroes we don't know about" she uncapped the lipstick, a rich wine colour she bought for you so you could match (and kiss without the colour of your lipsticks clashing) "pucker up"

>you did as she said, waiting for the lipstick, but she gave you a quick peck on the lips before holding your chin and applying the product with a content smile

>You met your boyfriend on the park, like you scheduled

>You waved at his friends, and he leaped to hug you both

>"This is my girlfriend, Y/N, and this is my girlfriend's girlfriend, Gayatri, she's also my girlfriend" Pavitr announced, very proud

>Gayatri got along easily with Gwen, her undeniable kindness and accesible personality being great to ease Gwen's anxious first impression, Miles was also very outgoing, and asked a lot of questions about how you three met, and how you started dating

>Hobie wasn't as quick to start conversation, but it had a natural flow since it began

>You were very well received by his friends, but a couple hours of hanging out in, your boyfriend started to look at you with puppy eyes

>You were sitting close to Hobie, he was talking about his band and other things, you actively listened and made some comments, you felt something grab your hand, and saw Pavitr putting your palm in his face, cradling his face

>"It's alright everyone, I know they're wonderful, don't steal my girls away"

>Everyone laughed loudly, they've never seen Pav so legitimately upset over anything, and now he looks like a kicked dog

>"It's a'hight, we wouldn't, you'd threw yourself off a bridge if we did" Hobie said, only partially joking

>"It's getting late already anyway" Miles warned

>They agreed to leave, but Gwen lingered a few seconds on her goodbyes to you and Gayatri, Pavitr frowned and started moving his hands to signal her to leave

>"Challo, challo, you have work to do, we'll see each other" he said to his friends before they left, turning to you, and put each arm into your shoulders to hug you both tenderly, his hair tickled your face as he held you close, you and Gayatri held hands on Pavitr's back

>Gayatri let out a low, airy giggle, and you whispered reassuring words into your boyfriend's ear

>"I think we made a good first impression" your girlfriend winked at you with a sultry smile

[hiramaris]

Dusk Fragments #1

Summary: A night of drinking, a group of friends, and two people returning to town. What could go wrong? Pairings: Jessy x Gender Neutral MC

Note: Had this on my mind for quite a while. This one-shot follows Dusk til Dawn. The timeline isn't clear here.

“I don’t think drinking and partying is such a good idea right now.” Cleo mused against her drink, the condensation on her glass forming tiny beads. She eyed the swirling liquid thoughtfully, her expression pensive. Despite her verbal disagreement, she downed her margarita in one go, barely wincing at the tangy taste.

Dan scoffed at that, knowing fully well where this conversation was going. “It’s been months. No one died. What better way to celebrate than being wasted?”

Lilly, seated next to Cleo, leaned forward, her gaze serious. “Hannah and Richy are still under court-ordered psychiatric evaluation and treatment,” Lilly emphasizes as if everyone has forgotten that fact. “Y/n and Jake are nowhere to be seen. So, I don't think these counts for a celebration.”

Jessy froze at the mention of your name, her hand pausing in mid-air as she played with her Mimosa.

For months, she had tried not to let your name linger in her mind for longer than necessary. It still hurts to think about you. Despite the fact that Agent Hartmann– Charlotte, Jessy corrected herself, already explained everything, it did nothing to quell the pain she was feeling.

Because why couldn’t you just tell them all those things yourself? Why couldn’t you just come back?

“But did they die?”

“Dan!” Cleo admonishes him.

“What?” He shrugged as he plucked a chilled martini glass from the shelf. “I’m just saying,” he continued as he went back to face them and to prepare Lilly’s drink. “Out of all the possible worst-case scenarios, we managed to get the best one. I’m not saying y’all need to trash out and get wasted, but I don’t think Y/n did all this for us to just sulk in our homes forever. We deserve this after all the hell each of us went through.”

“That’s true,” Phil popped out beside him, placing another Mimosa in front of Jessy despite the redhead's protest. “I never thought I’d get out of that stinky place they called prison after a certain someone” he eyed Dan accusingly, a smug smirk on his face “testified against me. So, drink up! Celebrations are in order!”

“For the love of— I already said sorry!” Dan yells at Phil’s retreating form, his voice drowning from the music reverberating around the Aurora bar.

“Sorry won’t cut it, Pal! You still have 6 months left of voluntary work before you get your wage!” Phil shouted back in a sing-song voice before disappearing into the stockroom.

“He won’t ever live it down, y’know?” Jessy allows herself to smirk at Dan’s guilty face. The man got an earful from her when she learned about what he did. If she were the same person as before, she would have never forgiven him but she’s a changed person now. At least that’s what she likes to think. Dan means well despite his impulsivity.

“I know,” Dan grumbled as he placed Lilly’s cosmopolitan in front of her.

The blonde eagerly sips her drink, humming in satisfaction, her body slightly swaying to the music. “Fuck it, I guess we do deserve to lose out a little.” Lilly perks up when ‘Streets’ begins blasting from the bar's speakers. The lights turned a deep hue of red as if to accentuate the mood of the song. “Oh my god! I love Doja Cat! Come, Cleo. Let’s dance!”

Cleo had no choice but to finish off her drinks before allowing the youngest Donfort to drag her to the nearest dance floor.

“She’s getting drunk,” Thomas commented quietly as he observed them.

“Oh, Lilly? Let her.” Dan leans a bit on the counter. “What about you, Tommy? What can I get for you? You’ve been awfully quiet since you came here.”

“I don’t think it’s such a great idea. Someone needs to be sober around here.”

Dan chuckles at that. “Still a wimp,” he teased. “Don’t worry. I don’t plan to drink tonight. Not until Y/n comes back to keep their promise and buy me a drink. I’ll keep an eye on her.”

“Fine.” Thomas sighed. “After what happened I guess I need a hard drink. Give me some Negroni.”

“Right away, sir.”

Jessy waited for Dan to get away from earshot to get some vermouth from the stock room before addressing Thomas. “Have she talked to you, yet?”

Thomas pursed his lips, his gaze shifting to the swirling liquid in Jessy’s glass. He took a moment to gather his thoughts before responding, his voice tinged with a sense of longing.

“Not since… that day.” He went quiet for a moment before speaking again. “I miss her, a lot.” He admitted. “But I’m trying to understand her. What happened was shitty. I don’t think 6 months of treatment would suffice to get over a trauma.”

“Any news about their development?”

Thomas sighed, his gaze distant as he delved into the subject. “Well… she’s starting to at least connect with her family. Lilly says it’s just about trivial matter and Hannah seems to be avoiding the topic being discussed just yet. About Richy…” he trailed off. “he’s doing okay, I guess. I talked to him a little while ago and he said he was truly sorry about what happened.”

“Do you… forgive him?” Jessy questions tentatively, her gaze fixed on Thomas, searching for his thoughts on the matter.

Thomas swallowed, fists curling into a fist. “I do. He’s my friend.” He met her eyes, his own ones going mist. “It’s just quite difficult to forget what he had done.”

“I know…” Jessy murmured, her tone reflective, finally downing her first mimosa. The contrasting flavors of bitterness, sweetness, and tanginess played against her tongue, much like the conflicting emotions she was feeling. “Richy doesn’t want to talk to us. I tried to… y’know but he pushed me away.”

“He was afraid. He doesn’t trust himself around you girls.”

“Oh,” was all that Jessy could say.

Maybe you and Richy have a lot more in common than she expected.

Like making decisions for everyone instead of asking them directly. She doesn’t get why both of you chose to keep everything to yourselves.

“Y/n,” Thomas suddenly says. “Do you still think of them?”

“Every day,” she found herself whispering. “I don’t think I had ever stopped.”

“Wow, I just went away for a minute or two and everything suddenly got sentimental.” Dan’s voice joined the conversation. He raised an eyebrow at the two as he began to mix Thomas’ drinks.

“It’s nothing!” Jessy tried to laugh, shoving her empty glass towards Dan. “I want another Mimosa. I’ll be back. I just need to go to the bathroom for a sec.”

“Hey! You still have a full glass of Mimosa here!” Dan calls back to her, but Jessy continues to her destination, brushing through sweaty bodies. She really needs to pee.

More importantly…

She also needs to cry.

Damn it. This is what she’s talking about. Just give her a couple of seconds to think of you and then no more than later her eyes turn into a waterwork.

“Jessy?” Well, that’s a voice that sounds familiar.

She whirls on the spot, and she has little time to even out her voice to mask her surprise. “Alica?”

Luckily, she managed to do it.

Because never in those three years, she has expected to see Alica Roth in the arms of her ex-boyfriend, Norman White.

It took all self-control for Jessy not to give any sort of reaction. What she told you was true. She never made an effort to know whom her ex had cheated her with due to fear of actually knowing who that person might be.

And just her luck, it seemed Alica was the person Norman fucked while being in a relationship with her.

“Oh, hi!” She put on a tight-lipped smile at the two. “I didn’t know that you two…” she tried to laugh. “How long?” She just wanted to know if her theory was true.

Norman has the audacity to look so smug about it, pulling the girl closer to him by the hip as if to rub salt in her wounds. Not that there’s any wound to begin with.

“Two years,” he answers with his typical boyish grin that Jessy used to swoon at. Well, not anymore.

And two years? He was still dating Jessy at that time!

This piece of crap really did cheat on her with Alica, and they even have the decency to flaunt it right on her face. Alica is no better; she knew Jessy was in a relationship with him and yet she allowed Norman to pursue her.

“I heard about what happened. I’m really sorry about Hannah and Richy.” Alica mentions, and Jessy doesn’t know if the girl is even genuine about it. “It must have been stressful for you guys.”

“It was.”

Norman straightened out, his arms falling from his side. “Well, you certainly didn’t look stressed at all,” he eyes her up and down unabashedly. “I mean don’t get me wrong. I know you are but what I was trying to say was you look as dashing as ever.” He finished his babbling with a grin.

Alica raised an eyebrow at his comment before turning her attention back to Jessy with the most faux smile she had ever seen in her life.

“He’s such a sweet guy, right? Always thoughtful with girls even if he already has a girlfriend.”

If she wasn’t sure before, Jessy is sure as hell that’s definitely sarcastic now.

“Oh, I know.” Jessy’s smile was just as fake.

“Of course,” as oblivious as ever, Norman beamed. “I even chatted that Y/n when Lilly posted about that video. Because y’know, I don’t like it when women get hurt.”

Jessy furrows her brows at that. What’s that even supposed to mean?

And wait, what?! He had chat Y/n which means he was one of the locals who harassed Y/n!

“Hey, y’all. I heard my name so would you mind if join in?”

****

“Do you think this is a good idea, Y/n?”

You turned to Jake, a smug smirk dancing across your lips. “Well, considering the last mission you need to do in order to grant your defection to the Agency has gone very well, I don’t see the problem in going back here. Plus,” your grin widens. “You have to be here. I don’t want Lilly to kill me so you have to protect me against her wrath.”

Jake chuckles at that. “You just took down twelve men just a couple of hours ago, and you mean to tell me you are afraid of Lilly?”

“It’s different,” you retorted, parking the car in the designated place Phil had made for you. You closed the door shut. Jake follows you after. From here you can already hear the music blasting inside. And judging from the disco lights you’re seeing peeking from the gates; you knew this is going to be one hell of a night.

“How do I look?” you turned to Jake as you tried to brush off imaginary specks of dust from your shirt. Not that it would make any difference. The glaring bruise on your cheek and a cut to the lip wouldn’t go unnoticed anyway.

“Like you just went on a mission.”

“I’m going to tell Aerith to dump your ass.” You narrowed your eyes at him. You couldn’t see his whole face because of his mask but you didn’t miss the way he rolled his eyes at you. “Hey, I saw that!”

Jake just shook his head and pushed you inside– forcefully.

“Just go inside and go restore your love life.”

The stench of alcohol and sweat greeted your nostrils and you didn’t bother to hide the look of pure disgust on your face, The lights were off inside but the illumination coming from the disco lights created a swirling pattern of abstract forms that gracefully blended with– is that ‘streets’?!

And is that Lilly dancing with Cleo?! If you can even call that dancing.

You snorted at the sight. The blonde’s probably drunk but Cleo looks sober enough which made this whole thing funnier. The poor girl was so embarrassed with her friend.

“I didn’t know Lilly was a fan of Doja Cat.” You couldn’t help but laugh at the idea.

You could have sworn you saw Jake’s eye twitch at the sight of his sister dancing in the middle of the dance floor with men trying to dance with her only to be pushed away by Cleo.

Not long after, Jake pushed his way through the crowd and towards his sister. You can only wish the men around Lilly good luck because a pissed Jake is someone you wouldn’t want on your plate– ever.

Shaking your head, you made your way towards the bar without any announcement when your eyes spotted those familiar beards from miles away and Thomas’ signature beanie.

“What’s cooking, good looking?”

“Y/n?!” Thomas almost spat his drink on a very unsuspecting Dan.

You thought that was the funniest thing you have ever seen but looking at Dan, it was your turn to choke on your own spit. The man looked like he saw a ghost with the way his eyes widened.

“Thanks for accepting my invitation, Y/n.” Phil wraps his arm around you. Taking you away from the bar, much to Dan’s dismay.

“Hey! I was talking to Y/n!”

Phil only gave him the finger, laughing. “Sorry, pal but we got customers.”

Dan could only grumble in annoyance as a group of rowdy teenagers came stumbling on the bar, leaving his hands full at the moment.

“You looked like you just came from a fight,” he commented as he guided you towards a corner. The music in this spot had mellowed, allowing both of you to talk in a normal voice. “I assume you won as always.”

“Won’t you know it?” You grinned. “I suppose free drinks are in order tonight?”

“Maybe,” he smirked. “Is that any way to talk to your brother-in-law?”

Your smile falters a bit. It’s been 6 months of radio silence. The last time you talked to her was when you left. You barely said goodbye. You barely gave any reassurance.

How could you though? How can you look at someone you love so much and tell yourself it’s time to go?

Would she still want you after all this time? Would she even want to talk to you?

“Is she mad at me?” You questioned quietly. The million-dollar question.

Phil noticed your apprehension, quirking an eyebrow at you. “Do you think I’ll invite you here if she hates you?”

“I mean if the invitation is out of spite, it is possible.”

He laughed. “You might want to get your head checked out, L/n. Unless you have a major concussion then you’re probably crazy to even be convinced that the kindest person in Duskwood hates your guts. Of course, she loves you shitless.” He took both of your shoulders, shaking you as if to take away those thoughts. “Listen, I didn’t just invited you here just to show gratitude for bailing me out. This is also me paying my sister back for all the shitty things I’ve done to her.”

His gaze suddenly flickered behind you, his grin coming back.

“Make my little sister happy, okay?” Without warning he pushed you forward. But not without whispering. “That’s her ex, Norman. Punch him in the face for me. Tata!”

You felt the world seemed to freeze before you when you finally saw her.

Ever since you came here you pretend to look around. You wanted to convince yourself that you’re just familiarizing yourself with your surroundings but the truth is…

I’m actually looking for you.

You can feel your chest starting to ache again. A frequent occurrence whenever you think of her. But seeing her again after all this time gives you a different kind of pain.

You find yourself walking towards her. Somehow, you’re thankful she has her back on you because it gave you a bit of time to prep yourself to face the redhead.

“He’s such a sweet guy, right? Always thoughtful with girls even if he already has a girlfriend.”

Your eyebrows raised when you finally got an earshot to the conversation Jessy was having with these people.

“Oh, I know.” Even with her back on you, you can notice Jessy was visibly tense. You frowned. Clearly, she’s uncomfortable. Just who the hell are these people?

“Of course,” the guy with a face you didn’t like boasted. So, this is the ex, huh? “I even chatted that Y/n when Lilly posted about that video. Because y’know, I don’t like it when women get hurt.”

“Hey, y’all. I heard my name so would you mind if join in?” That was the time you decided to swoop in.

You casually grab Jessy by the waist, far away from her so-called ex who doesn't seem to know how to read the room.

Telling by the lack of flinch, you know Jessy already knows it was you. If she was surprised at your sudden appearance after months of radio silence, she didn’t show it.

You put yourself between them. All the while, Norman looks a bit startled at your sudden presence. He was taken aback. He slowly backed away when he noticed your piercing gaze focused on him.

“It would be kind of rude to talk behind my back, right?” You went on. Flashing them a charming smile. You turn to Jessy, kissing her cheek. “Anyway, Dan sent me to tell you your Mimosa is good to go, babe.”

She kissed your cheek back, right across your bruise as if to tell you it didn’t go unnoticed by her. “Of course, love. Thank you!”

You fight a flush beginning to emerge on your cheeks at the endearment. But you find yourself not even trying to as the next words uttered by the woman in front of you were enough for you to grimace.

“Oh, my. I wasn’t informed you have such a hot company there, Jessy.” You could have sworn the woman batted her eyelashes at you unabashedly, making the ‘ex’ bristle next to her.

Jessy feigns a smile as she rests her head against your chest, “this is Norman and this is his girlfriend, Alica. Guys, this is my partner, Y/n.”

Norman held out his hand, “Nice to meet you.”

“Likewise, Normy.” You smiled, ignoring the wince on his face as you might have gripped his hand a little too hard.

“It’s a-actually Norman, not Normy.” He corrected with a strained smile.

“You’re the same Normy who harassed me on the phone right?” You raised an eyebrow, your gaze challenging.

“N-no. I…” he stuttered pathetically, making you grin wider.

“Call me Ali, dear.” Alica made a move to kiss your cheek and was about to do another one, but Jessy pulled you back to her, eyes openly glaring now. The blonde didn’t seem to care as she commented, “you smell good, and that bruise looks hot.”

You were quick to wipe off the kiss from your cheeks, not even bothering to hide it from Alica. You’re not entirely sure what was Jessy’s history with her aside from Normy here. But what you’re sure of is your girlfriend has a massive jealous streak.

You have come to know that for the first week you have known her. And if blonde here has known Jessy far more than you have, then she better know that the redhead is ready to bury her alive right now.

“What the fuck is that, Ali?” Norman was the first to react, glaring at you and his girlfriend.

“Chill out, hon. I was just–“

“We’re leaving.” Jessy cuts off curtly, pulling you away from the scene. She stopped in what you assumed to be a hallway to the comfort room. Pulling out a handkerchief and a bottle of alcohol, she began to dab the piece of cloth to your cheeks. “I’m going to kill her.”

You laughed quietly, “I bet you do.”

She furrowed her eyebrow but remained quiet as she finished the job. She even sprayed her perfume on your shirt as if to wipe any trace of the blonde in you. Or she’s probably marking you. Or both. In any case, you didn’t mind.

Your heart pounded as you raised your hands to cup her cheeks. Your thumb begins to stroke her cheek in a delicate manner, and your eyes wander around her face. You are now faced with the woman you have badly missed to the point it physically gives you pain just by thinking about it. You took your time to admire her face, now up close for the first time in how many months of not seeing it.

She looked a bit thinner. Up close, you can see the effects of the situation that fell upon her— the bags under her eyes due to spending sleepless nights and the worry lines starting to form on her forehead. But in your eyes, you have never seen such beauty. She still looked beautiful, nonetheless. She was still your Jessy.

“Sorry,” you murmured. You didn’t emphasize what for. Do you even need to?

Sorry for leaving. Sorry for keeping you in the dark. Sorry for hurting you.

But none of those came close to what left your lips.

“Sorry, I let her kiss me. I shouldn’t have–”

The laugh that escaped her lips was soft and rich. Her breath tingled against your cheeks as she leaned her forehead against yours, her arms secured around your neck. You knew then that she knows what you were apologizing for and it’s sure as hell not about letting Alica kiss you.

“Apparently, that woman just really likes stealing people I love. I suppose you’re not an exemption.”

“Hmm, so she was the girl.” It wasn’t a question, but rather a realization.

“Uhuh.” Jessy is a lot closer now, lips barely an inch that if you leaned a little closer you would be kissing her. Her fingers played with the baby hairs at the back of your neck making your breath hitched. And judging by the little smirk on her lips, you knew damn well she knows her effect on you. “I’m still mad at you.” She whispers and you note the faint smell of alcohol on her breath.

“I know.” You whispered just as quietly. “Let me make it up to you.”

“How so?” A dashing smirk spreads across her features, and for a moment, your eyes drift mindlessly toward her unsuspecting lips, loving the way they curl up in a low grin. At this point, the resistance to kiss her lips would probably be a battle already lost.

So you did.

You pecked her cheeks first, another one on the corner of her mouth, and then the other one for good measure. Peppering her kisses nonstop if you could. She can only laugh softly at your antics, loving the attention you give her.

And because your always motto is "to save the best for last" you took your precious time laying a long, slow kiss full on her lips. Her hands were eager to mess with your hair, deepening the kiss. You can feel the heat rising on your skin, her touches leaving trails of fire.

Not satisfied with the proximity, you pulled her closer. You even made your way to flip your positions, now pinning the redhead against the wall and a solid chest.

Her grip on your shirt tightens in such a way that she wants to pull it off you. At the back of your mind, you were aware that someone could walk in on you two almost eating each other's faces but you're usually clumsy brain was now foggier than you could remember as you were so busy latching your mouth against her neck and feeling Jessy tilting them to the side to give you better access. Her scent, warmth, and kisses consume you ent—

“Y/n?” You and Jessy froze. That was Phil’s voice!

The urgency in his voice was enough to cleanse your hazy mind, and without the overwhelming thoughts about your girlfriend which you may not guarantee wouldn't go past what is deemed to be inexplicit, you can now hear his voice clearer against the blasting music.

You only got a few seconds to detach yourself from a disappointed and irritated Jessy and fix your hair which she seems to love to mess with.

Despite the initial annoyance, the redhead still managed to have the audacity to flash you an amusing grin as she couldn't take her eyes off your already swollen lips, seemingly satisfied with her creation. And it's not like she's any better.

Sure, her hair's fine, but her lips are a bit bruised, too and there are patches of redness forming on the side of her neck courtesy of your mouth.

When Phil finally arrived inside the room, you managed to act like you were fixing your hair whilst Jessy was trying to fix her lipstick. From his point of view, it looks like you two were having the usual conversation and not shoving each other’s tongues down your throats five seconds ago.

"Did I interrupt something?" He questioned smugly, wanting to tease you but you weren't having any of it. You were too flustered to even function properly now.

"No," was Jessy’s quick reply, not trusting you to answer. She barely managed to hide her smile behind her own mirror.

Phil looks like he doesn’t believe that obvious lie and was excited to turn to you. "Man, you should have seen the pussy-ass bitch Normy and his girlfriend arguing at the parking lot. He was like ‘why the fuck did you kissed a random stranger?’ and Alica was like ‘Is it my fault Y/n is hot?’ and then he was like–" He wasn't able to continue his story as Jessy’s glare was so sharp, that it can dissect a living creature.

Her eyebrows were raised to the fullest and her gaze was unwavering, challenging her own brother to continue his story to the extent that she wouldn’t like where it would head.

If your blood earlier had rushed towards your cheeks, it now had drained the color on your face and you're practically choking on your own spit for the second time this night.

"– and I just want to say your drinks are ready. That's all." He finishes lamely.

You knew that's not what he was trying to say, but to save his life and maybe yours from the redhead’s wrath, he knew better than to continue his story.

"Oh, and Y/n?" You perked up from your sudden faux interest to the flickering sign of the comfort room down the hallway. Phil’s smirk returned full blast. "You got a little something here,” he motioned his fingers to his lips. “See you!"

Your hand flew faster than when Phil bolted out to grab Jessy’s mirror.

And to your horror, a thin line of smeared lipstick was visible at your bottom lip. It wasn’t noticeable enough to catch someone’s attention, but it is sure as hell noticeable enough for the likes of Phil. And he wouldn’t need to put two and two together to even know what you were doing earlier with his sister.

Jessy’s laughter came rumbling across your chest as she pulled you closer again.

And boy, you were right.

Tonight’s going to be a long night.

But you wouldn’t have it any other way.

[partoftheband04]

The Last To Make It Home (with myself I am not so forgiving)

Word Count - 2.7k

Summary - You and Sam have been together for a while but you can't help but feel like you're falling behind and holding him back.

Warnings - None really, some angst, they're in a pub so kind of some hints at drinking.

-----------

It’s only on the third call of your name that you look up from mindlessly scrolling through your phone, the sound of your local pub drowning out the people that surround your table. The loud chatter of old men, the music playing through the speaker, the conversation between workers - it all soundtracks your internal spiral that you didn’t even notice yourself slipping into, continuously absorbing post upon post as you automatically like each one.

You raise your eyes to meet Dean’s from across the table, lifting an eyebrow at him in question. He makes a point of looking to your phone then back to your face, raising his own eyebrow as if in challenge, questioning why you’ve been attached to it all night. You heave out a sigh as you put it back into your pocket and cross your arms across your chest, letting him know you’re not happy at him for pointing it out - especially in front of Sam and the rest of your friends.

“Going to get another drink,” you mutter as you stand from your seat, not bothering to ask anyone else in your desperation to get away.

The much quieter, empty bar is a comfort for you as you finally relax, reciting your order to the bartender. Ever since Sam’s music had begun to take off everything seemed to be getting louder and louder. You’d think he couldn’t get any more popular in your small hometown, but with every song the crowd that you both surrounded yourselves with was growing exponentially - chairs dragged to your table by people he had barely spoken to once as soon as you walked through the door.

It's not that you’re not proud of him, or course you are, but you miss the simplicity of before.

Before was calm. Before was just the two of you, mindless chatter as you lay bare under bedsheets, your vulnerability a comfort. Before was your small group of close friends, no secrets and so much love between you all, your family.

Now, everything was so complicated. You felt like everyone was looking into your lives and you didn’t have the power to keep anything hidden. Everything was loud. You felt isolated from your chosen family more than ever and there was nothing you could do to stop it, because that would be selfish.

How could you deprive Sam of his dream, something he had worked so hard for.

So, you suck it up. Literally and metaphorically as you take a sip of your drink for courage and walk back towards the table. Ready for conversation. Ready for loud.

As you lower back into your seat you catch Dean’s gaze again, another lifted eyebrow in question. You chuckle under your breath and give a small nod of your head to let him know you’re fine. He seems to be catching on recently, taking extra notice of you whenever you’re both in the same place.

You feel Sam place his hand on your knee in comfort as he continues his conversation with whichever random person is talking to him now. Your lips lift into a smile, and you stare down into your drink, his thumb rubbing back and forth subconsciously.

You’ve both barely spoken to each other today. Him busy with writing and you stuck at your shift in the town’s secondary school not sure how much longer you can handle the jeering of the teenagers who think it’s funny to comment on your relationship. You spend your lunches in the staff toilet trying not to breakdown, messaging Sam to check how he’s doing.

He doesn’t reply.

You know it’s not on purpose. He phones you four hours later once you’re already back home, lying in your bed, surrounded by darkness and scrolling through your phone. He’s full of apologies as he promises to make it up to you, as if he’s done anything wrong, and all it makes you feel is worse.

You’re holding him back and you hate it.

As a literature teacher you’ve read plenty of romances in your time. You thought the love and passion you see in the books was finally in your hand, but the more time that passes you begin to believe that type of love doesn’t exist - if you can’t have it with Sam then there’s no chance of you ever having it at all. 

After you left college, you knew you didn’t want to go to university but that left you without many other options, almost forced into the career of a teacher with the limited jobs you could take. You felt comfortable taking the job with the intent of figuring out your goals and pursuing something that interested you more in the near future. And that was fine, until suddenly Sam was touring and recruited almost the entirety of your friend group as his band, and you were left alone as they lived their dreams.

You’re not even sure what your dream is.

So, years went by, and you were still stuck in shields as the rest of your friends toured the world, facetiming you whenever they saw something exciting in an attempt to make you feel included. You would smile and laugh as they ranted about everything that was happening on tour but each time a little bit of you broke inside.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this. You were supposed to figure it out after the small bump in the road you were dealt and get back on your feet, but you didn’t see that possibility anymore. You weren’t destined for greatness like Sam, and you certainly aren’t worthy of the love he holds for you.

But you’re too selfish to let him go. He’s the only thing you have left but you can’t help but feel that your love isn’t enough for him. Not anymore. He could get it easily from any of the girls that go to his countless shows.

You suddenly notice the lack of presence of his hand on your knee and find that everyone is getting up to leave. He hugs Dean, Drew and all the other guys (including the people that you are sure he’s never met before) goodbye.

“You know you can phone me whenever you need to, right?” Dean says as he hugs you, making sure no one else around can hear your private conversation.

“What do you mean?” you ask, faking obliviousness in the hopes that you won’t have to explain yourself because, in truth, you wouldn’t even know where to start. 

He grabs your shoulders as he gives you a stern look and tells you, “We’ve all noticed something’s up with you, and I’m not sure what it is but everyone’s worried. Especially Sam. And if something really is wrong you should tell us, we’re a family. At the very least you should tell Sam, you know how he worries when we go away.”

You take a deep breath, willing yourself not to cry as you stare down at the floor. This whole thing seems so ridiculous, and you can’t help but feel like you’re wasting the little time that you seem to get with them now.

“Shit, Dean. I’m fine, you don’t have to worry about me. Everything just seems to be moving a bit fast recently but it’s nothing I can’t deal with myself.” You add a short laugh at the end to convince him further.

He looks at you as though he doesn’t believe you but ultimately just shakes his head as he rubs your shoulder and wishes you well as he moves to leave the pub.

You look to find Sam again and realise that everyone else has left. As you go to put on your coat ready for the walk home, Sam grabs your arm and stops you. You stare at him in confusion, but as he sits back down at the table you follow his actions without question.

“Right,” he says abruptly. “What’s going on with you then?”

The topic of conversation shocks you, not expecting him to dare bring up the distance you’ve been putting between the two of you as of late, whether intentional or not.

“Dean literally just asked me the same thing. I’m fine Sam, I don’t know what you’re both worrying about.”

You’re just trying to convince yourself at this point. It’s sad really.

“Don’t give me that bullshit. We’ve barely spoken since I’ve been back, and I know I’ve been busy, but I’ve at least tried to talk to you and keep this relationship going.”

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” 

You’re angry now. It’s not that you don’t want to be with Sam anymore, you don’t think you could ever not want to be with him, but you’ve been a ball of crippling insecurity recently and almost don’t see the point in trying to save a relationship that is only going to stop Sam from achieving everything that he wants to in the end.

“You’ve stopped trying! That’s what it means,” he says frustratedly. “You don’t understand how much I miss you when I leave, and to come back and still feel the same distance I did when I was four thousand miles away is quite frankly insulting.”

“You don’t need to miss me when you’ve got everyone else around you. You should be having fun and enjoying touring, not thinking about me.”

“That, quite literally, makes no fucking sense. Why would I not miss my girlfriend? We’ve been together for years and you think I’m just going to forget all about you the second I leave town?”

“I wouldn’t blame you.”

The silence after you utter those four words is palpable and you don’t have the courage to meet Sam’s eyes, terrified that he’s going to agree with you. 

He doesn’t say anything in response, but he does reach out to grab your hand. You look up as he takes your hand in his expecting anything but the concerned look you’re met with.

“You really mean that?” he sounds genuinely shocked, and you find it so difficult to understand why. You just nod your head a little, not knowing how to voice your feelings anymore after being put on the spot like this. “Put your coat on, pub’s closing soon so we need to leave anyway.”

You’ve really done it now. You’ve somehow said the wrong thing again and pushed him away even further and this time you don’t think you’re coming back from it. Once you’ve put on your coat, Sam grabs your hand again and you both leave the pub together, waving goodbye to the staff that you’ve known almost all your lives with smiles on your faces as if the conversation between the both of you hadn’t happened at all.

As you walk down the quiet streets of Shields, back towards your houses, Sam starts the conversation again.

“Have I done something to make you feel like I don’t love you anymore?” his breath is almost sucked out of him as he nearly chokes on the words, tears in his eyes. “I don’t understand what’s happened. We were fine while I was on tour. How has me coming back made everything worse?”

“You were fine when you were on tour.” 

He whips his head to you in confusion, “What?”

You sigh, knowing you won’t ever find a way out of this conversation as much as you try to find one.

“I haven’t been fine for a while Sam.” It feels good to say it. “I honestly can’t remember the last time I really felt fully okay.”

As much as you feel awful for unloading all of this onto Sam, you’re glad you’ve finally had the courage to tell him and break him out of the fantasy you’ve held onto for far too long.

He doesn’t say anything, just stares at you.

“I just feel… wrecked. I’m not myself anymore. Life has moved on so quickly since everything happened and I just feel like I’m falling so far behind. I can’t keep up with you anymore, and that’s okay, but I’m just so sick of feeling like I’m holding you back Sam. I don’t want you to go away and miss me. I’m not worth that.”

There’s a moment of silence, just your footsteps echoing as you walk. 

“You’re worth everything.”

It’s a simple statement, he says it as if it’s fact.

“Don’t do that. You can’t do that Sam, it’s not fair.”

“What do you mean ‘it isn’t fair’? It’s the truth and I honestly don’t understand how you can’t see that. I fucking worship you. You’re not holding me back.”

“I’ve seen the people you’re friends with now. I see the girls that you know, that do music, that are just as amazing as you are and that’s what you deserve. You deserve someone beautiful and talented, someone that understands you and can be there for you. You don’t deserve someone stuck in their hometown that can barely look after themselves and is stuck in the past. That isn’t fair.”

You only now realise that you’ve both stopped walking and your voice has raised to the point that you’re basically shouting.

“Sorry. I shouldn’t have shouted.”

You carry on walking.

“That’s what you’re sorry about?” he asks exasperated. “I don’t care that you’re shouting. Shout as much as you fucking want. I care that you’ve kept this from me for God knows how long. You’re meant to tell me these things! We’re supposed to work through them together.”

He’s crying now, and you feel awful for causing it but there’s no way for you to see his perspective. You’re too conditioned by the social media you haven’t stopped looking at since his career took off, you’re too in your own head.

“I don’t even know how to fix this at this point,” he says. “I don’t know you can’t see how much I adore you. You’re not falling behind, we’re just… different. We’re doing different things with our lives and that's fine. It doesn’t mean either path is less important than the other.”

“It’s not fine!” you’re properly shouting now. “I don’t want to be a teacher. I don’t want to be stuck here. I’m so sick of this place Sam, I hate it. I don’t want to be here anymore.”

“Then don’t stay here. Come with me on tour, do literally anything else, you could do anything you wanted to.”

“I can’t Sam. I’m not made for any of that.”

You realise you’ve reached Sam’s house, the light still on in the porch. Your house is only about six houses down the road, and you know that it’s time to put this conversation to bed.

“Look, Sam, it’s late. Can we please just talk about this some other time?”

“No, we can’t. I’m going away again soon, if I leave this now, you’re just going to carry on not talking to me and we won’t fix anything before then.”

“Maybe that’s the way it should be.”

He doesn’t even look shocked at this point. He just sighs in resignation and runs a hand through his hair. 

“You’re serious?”

You don’t even have the nerve to answer him, simply shrugging in reply.

“Right, I guess I’ll see you then,” it’s all he can give you in response. “Please, just know I love you and, once you figure that out, I’ll be here wating for you.” He moves around you, ready to walk up the steps to his front door.

“Okay,” you say quietly, almost immediately regretting your actions over the course of the night, but not having the guts to take any of it back.

You can’t be selfish anymore.

“Get home safe.”

You nod and turn to walk away, not even giving him the luxury of a glance back in his direction, knowing you won’t have the strength to leave otherwise.

The walk back to your house is perhaps the loneliest you’ve ever felt. You flinch as you hear Sam’s front door close behind you but keep walking. It’s as if the door has closed on everything good in your life, forcing you to start a new chapter on your own.

You open your own door, met with only silence. You’re truly alone, truly the last to make it home.

[livin-like-larry413]

hey there!! just regarding the state of the cod fandom: things really seem to be spiralling out of control based on some recent posts i've seen, and it just reinforces my decision to never get involved with the fandom at all.

and in a way there's a bitter irony to this all because people who adore and fawn over fictional men who are military can't even show a shred of decency or kindness to an actual veteran suffering from PTSD. and if they're incapable of doing so, then what is the point of engaging with a fandom that'll devolve into vitriol so caustic that they'll gloat over someone's passing?

obviously it's not that we should take everything as truth - things should be taken with a grain of salt as this is the internet. you never know that people will peddle. but if a post like that can already lead to someone actually dying over a horny shitpost, then there's no way to salvage this fandom.

sorry if this is a bothersome rant, i just feel like i really wanted to get involved with fandom and fanfiction at last after so long, especially because there's so many ways you can explore these characters. but this incident has really deterred me from it. and i suppose i just wanted to let it out somewhere.

i hope you're looking after yourself regardless and taking care, stranger! this is a heavy, taxing topic, and in times like this, kindness is worth more than its weight in gold.

Honestly, bestie, it’s understandable wanting to remain detached from the cod fandom even before all of this discourse—it’s what’s kept me from getting into cod at all from the get go because all I’ve ever seen from the fandom was just banana boat bonkers 100% of the time. It’s never bothersome to rant and express how everything’s impacting you as a bystander, and as someone who wanted to participate and have fun with something.

There’s plenty of other fandoms that are much less toxic than cod (not completely un-toxic, that’s unfortunate not possible) but don’t let this one instance deter you from having fun for your own sake. Even if it takes you time to share it publicly, it’s still possible to create and have fun with fandoms and fanfiction while anonymous or just keeping it between a friend group: it’s what I’ve ended up doing at this point, because open online fandom has just devolved so much over the years. Cod is still an available game and story to have fun with, even if you just want to do it on your own for now.

I’m just tired and disappointed at this point. What’s even worse is this isn’t the first instance of someone committing because of how vitriolic this fandom is to people—two cosplayers that ended their lives not too long ago are constantly on my mind and it’s—I’m really shocked at how easily and quickly it seems the rest of the fandom seems to have moved on, besides a few chance people, that is.

No matter what, there’s just no excuse for how spectacularly this has all spiraled out of control and into something that is completely irrelevant to what caused the issue to begin with—which was the toxic fanbase being vengeful and vitriolic to people who don’t deserve it: codslut and Soapskneebrace both. Everyone has lost the plot, it seems, and are focusing on everything other than “This person very likely killed herself because unknown individuals ran with a stupid comment made by someone else on a horny shitpost”.

I’m doing fine, thank you for taking the time to check in and give kindness, it absolutely is a fleeting online curtesy at the moment. It’s appreciated, and I’m sorry you’ve been deterred from joining much of any fandom for now. I hope you find people that you can vibe with about your interests and who you enjoy spending time with.

[jjamjamm]

Valentine's Festival

Masterlist

Wordcount: 1031

Summary: Thorin organizes an entire festival for the person he loves.

Valentine’s Day had finally arrived, and while everyone around him was abuzz over the holiday, Thorin found himself to be incredibly nervous.

For months he had been putting together a festival for everyone, there would be music, food, flowers, and entertainment so that everyone could celebrate with their loved ones together. It was also an opportunity for everyone to dress up a bit more than usual, which added to the excitement all around.

Well, at least that was how Thorin had been pitching it. He had a hidden agenda of course, nobody plans a romantic festival for an entire mountain if they don’t at least have their eyes on someone. The King very much did have his eyes on one person in particular, and was hoping that the festival would give him the perfect atmosphere to confess his feelings to her.

Up until the festival, Thorin had spent the day trying to work on getting every detail perfect, and was still fussing over particular details when people started to arrive. He had to straighten up, and smile, greeting them as though the nerves in his stomach weren’t about to bubble over.

Eventually, after a short while of mingling he got the band to play something for the couples that had arrived, giving him the opportunity to escape to Dwalin.

“This was a horrible idea.” He breathed, and his friend shook his head.

“You’ve been fawning over the lass for how long?” Dwalin asked, “It’s about time you told her.”

“Maybe I shouldn’t.” Thorin tried, “She can just enjoy the festival and never know it’s for her.”

“Oh no you don’t.” Dis stood behind the two of them, arms crossed over her chest, “I helped her get all dolled up for tonight, you aren’t going to let her down now.”

“Did you tell her?” Thorin panicked, hoping his sister hadn’t gone that far.

“Of course not, this is for you to say.” She assured him, squeezing his arm for support, “You’ll be fine, trust me.”

He thanked her, feeling a small amount of relief after the two of them talked some sense back into him. He continued to greet people, making his rounds a bit before he stopped dead in his tracks.

You had arrived, entering the hall amazed at what you saw. The celebration was unlike anything you had ever seen, but you loved it.

Thorin meanwhile, was completely at a loss for words. You were an absolute vision as you stood in the entryway, wearing a gown that was no doubt brand new, and in color with the holiday, you looked like the most beautiful creature he had ever laid eyes on.

You caught sight of him and smiled, heading over to commend him for his efforts. As he noticed you coming towards him, his mouth went dry, but he smiled anyways, regaining some composure.

“Thorin, you’ve outdone yourself.” You complimented, dipping partially into a courtesy out of propriety.

“Y/N, you don’t have to,” He began to say, but as you looked up at him the words died on his tongue. He cleared his throat, and averted his gaze for a moment before looking back at you, “Thank you, I hope you enjoy yourself.”

“I’m sure I will.” You promised, looking around at all the couples, “Though, I suppose it is really a day for two.”

Thorin nodded in agreement, “Do you not have someone?”

You shook your head, “So many people came to the mountain already knowing one another, it’s hard to make your way into a group when they’re so close-knit.”

“It’s their loss.” He swore, extending a hand to you, “For letting a vision like yourself slip out of their grasp.”

“That’s sweet of you to say.” You said, taking his hand, “What about you? Surely you’ve got more than a few with their eyes on you.”

He shrugged, brushing the comment off, “I’d rather dance with you, if I may that is.”

You beamed at him and let him lead you to where others were already dancing. He kept your hand in his, and moved his other to your waist as the two of you swayed together.

“You really have done a remarkable job.” You said, turning your eyes to him, and catching him staring at you.

He swallowed and a small laugh escaped him, “I feel like a fool.”

“Why? Everyone loves what you’ve done.” You assured him.

“Not the party.” He said, “I feel like a fool, around you.”

You rose an eyebrow at that, “We’ve known each other for a long time, why haven’t you told me?”

“It’s nothing you do.” He promised, “Just, there’s something about you that reduces me to a pile of jumping nerves.”

“I should be the nervous one,” You said, “After all, I’m the one dancing with royalty.”

“I should have told you this long ago.” He said, shaking his head at his own idiocy, “You mean the world to me Y/N, I’ve fallen for you.”

You looked stunned for a moment, before you bit your lip and averted your gaze, “Do you mean that?”

“I’d rather cut off my hair than see you leave the mountain.” He vowed, pulling you a little closer.

“Thorin.” You breathed, locking eyes with him, “Kiss me.”

He didn’t need to be told twice. He pulled you flush against him, and moved to catch your lips with his. The old idiom of sparks flying was absolutely true, and sooner than you would’ve liked, the two of you had to pull apart.

“I love you.” He said, looking more relaxed now that he’d gotten the words off of his chest. He had gone back to the Thorin you had grown to love as well.

“I love you too.” You couldn’t suppress your smile as you told him.

He led you from the dancefloor, and away from some of the stares the two of you were oblivious of, to sit you down and work a braid into your hair right then and there.

Once it was secured the two of you sat snuggled against one another, enjoying the festival from afar.

“It’s all for you.” He promised, wrapping his arms around you, “My Queen.”

[heartidylla]

➫ my masterlist

if you find a scenario you’d like to read, comment it & i’ll prioritize that!

taylor swift — debut

tim mcgraw — agent whiskey

a past summer affair with your best friends ex, jack, hasn’t left your mind. your best friend treated him horribly, and you knew that fairly well. after bumping into him on your way to the bookstore, a new type of arrow struck you both in the heart.

picture to burn — javier peña

you and javier have always had a love-hate relationship. it’s always been a hassle to work around relationship wise because your prides are extreme, and you never want to apologize. it’s the reason as to when you have broken up, you both have a ended on the worst terms.

teardrops on my guitar — joel miller

everyone knows that you’re in love with joel except joel himself. so, even after all your signs of admiration for him, you’re left sitting on the sidelines and to watch your best friend fall in love with someone who is not you.

a place in this world — din djarin

caught up in a mixture of finding yourself and loneliness, you meet a certain mandalorian who offers you a spot in his world.

cold as you — joel miller

your dads best friend and you have had a secret relationships for quite some time now. it has slowly become harder to hide, and the guilt that has been building up in joel finally surfaces.

the outside — frankie morales

you’re santiago’s little sister who has been left out of everything between the group of guys. however, when you notice that frankie is depressed you try to push your way through his walls.

tied together with a smile — javi gutierrez

javi has been going through some self hatred lately due to his cousin’s comments. when he consoles in you, you make sure that he feels your admiration for him.

stay beautiful — javi gutierrez

you first meet javi at the beach, and ever since then you’ve been admiring him from the sidelines due to him being absolutely oblivious towards anything having to do with romance.

should’ve said no — javier peña

javier has always been known to be a casanova, and you blame yourself for ever expecting him to put away his informant antics and determine that your love is enough. sadly, he has yet to prove that to you. completely in character, he has screwed up again. this time you’re over his behavior.

mary’s song — javi gutierrez

you once believed love stories cannot be like the fairytales; however, once you experiences true love and made you’re own love story, you take back what you stated for years on end.

our song — frankie morales

during a small car ride with your boyfriend he plays a cd that brings up memories of your high school years.

i’m only me when i’m with you — din djarin

din is only ever able to let his guard down around you, and goes completely soft whenever you’re near.

invisible — joel miller

you watch joel falling in love with tess who seems to not be interested in him at all.

a perfectly good heart — joel miller

in a moment of overbearing stress, joel miller says somethings he wishes he could take back, but his pride is too massive for him to ever admit that.

taylor swift — fearless

fearless — oberyn martell

growing up with oberyn martell by your side (due to his father being your dads best friend) has come to be quite a thrill.

fifteen — javier peña

your highschool boyfriend, javier, turns out to be quite the opposite person as you expected him to be.

love story — din djarin

your knight, din, has secretly fallen in love with you; yet, you cannot indulge in those romantic feelings you hold for one another.

hey stephen — oberyn martell

your eyes laid on oberyn. his charming smile swept you away, and you couldn’t ever help yourself from catching feelings for him.

white horse — joel miller

joel miller, the asshole that he is, breaks your heart and tries to come back but it’s too late.

you belong with me — javi gutierrez

your best friend, javi, has laid his eyes on someone else and you can’t help but think he’d be happier with you.

breathe — joel miller

you and joel split up due to stress and not communicating properly. joel finds it extremely difficult to process.

tell me why — frankie morales

frankie has been picking fights at the smallest things with you due to his own complications and you are fed up dealing with it, even if you cherish him and his daughter dearly.

you’re not sorry — agent whiskey

from the moment you broke things off with jack he has been calling you, begging for a second chance and to explain himself; but, you’re done.

the way i loved you — javier peña

you and javier have always had some type of magical spark. one that spikes the evilness in the other as well as the beauty. however, you both split up because of a horrible fight and you try to move on but you can’t help but reminisce what you had.

forever & always — joel miller

as joel had gotten very drunk, he confessed his inner feelings for you. the next day, he feels insecure to those feelings which haven’t ever resulted in anything good and tries to run away from them.

the best day — din djarin

you had the best day with your adoptive dad and brother, grogu. :)

change — oberyn martell

oberyn learns to finally finalize the long-time battle with himself as he put in every ounce to revenge her against her murders; with you by his side, he was finally able to achieve that.

jump than fall — joel miller

you meet joel in a supermarket, and your progression up his pyramid slowly increases. you can tell he’s comfortable around you, but you can’t help but notice the smallest details of his mannerisms that only come out around you.

untouchable — din djarin

you and din are stargazing in silence from within the razor crest, but someone that moment of silence speaks more than what your words ever could.

come in with the rain — javier peña

you have known javier for years now — since you were kids to be in fact. you’ve spent just as much time trying to figure him out than admiring him from afar. when he comes back from columbia, you try and help ease his decreasing mental state; but, he doesn’t want to be helped.

superstar — din djarin

in two opposing tribes, the youth you and din started secretly meeting up. you take notice to a lot of things about him, especially how enthusiastic he is about honoring his tribe. sadly, your ears betray you and you start to notice the people that surround him as well: his fangirls.

the other side of the door — javier peña

during a heated fight, you walk away from javier which leads to him standing all alone. though, what you don’t say is that you want him to follow you. you want him to show if he truly needs you or if it’s all for show.

today was a fairytale — din djarin

a young princess and her future knight go out secretly on a date. let’s just say … it certainly was a fairytale.

you all over me — agent whiskey

jack goes through all the stages of missing you after he lost you due to his foolishness. he’s tortured by reminders of you everywhere he goes.

mr. perfectly fine — javier peña

javier has pushed you too far over the edge this time which results in a huge blowout. you not only can’t get over the way he treated you, but you wish to make his life miserable for such.

we were happy — javier peña

your high school lover has to depart for his dream job that he has been working for since he was young, and the first couple months consist of you reminiscing the way you two loved.

that’s when — agent whiskey

after jack had a moment of foolishness, you needed time to think it all over. as much as it upsets him, he knows it’s for the best.

don’t you — frankie morales

after being forced apart due to the requirements of his job. after months of being gone, he comes back and seeing him is inevitable.

bye bye baby — javier peña

after catching javier with another informant, you are finally over his antics which he seems to not be able to put in his past; unwillingly leaving him for good.

taylor swift — speak now

mine — frankie morales

during college, you meet frankie who has somehow wondered into your life. slowly, he breaks down your walls and pushes through them.

sparks fly — oberyn martell

as a maid, you notice a lot about oberyn over your many years serving him. unnoticed to you, he watches you from afar as well… until he finally gets the chance to talk to you up close.

back to december — javi gutierrez

due to your own personal insecurities that was brought to light because of your parents. you forget that not everyone is out to get you. that you aren’t alone at all. between that blurred line, you unintentionally hurt the one person who has ever cherished you and you terribly regret it.

speak now — javier peña

as your childhood crush, javier, is getting married you cannot help but think of everything that you two could possibly be. when it gets down to the final moments, your gazes connect .. and you get the sudden urge to commit to something you won’t ever be able to come back from.

dear john — joel miller

as freshly graduated college student, you take an instant interest within a guy you meet at the super market, joel, whose complicated mind comes into your life for the better and worst.

mean — pedro pascal

after acting out your first role alongside pedro pascal in a rom-com, the public takes you upon the lighting as a personal threat and attacks you. they throw their weapons in a form of utter violence and desperation for pedro to look their way or give them his attention. however, the complete opposite happens and he supports you through your first floor of hatred. the next thing you know, you’re making your musical debut to confront all of the haters.

the story of us — din djarin

you and the mandalorian had a spark once before; however, it ended on horrible terms. two years later, you awkwardly cross paths once again. will you two be able to rekindle the love that still lingers?

never grow up — joel miller

joel watches as you and ellie grow up with a sense of melancholy.

enchanted — din djarin

as a princess, you weren’t allowed to talk to outsiders. however, one night at a ball you take a walk in the garden and that’s the moment you meet a certain mandalorian.

better than revenge — agent whiskey

a woman from work seems to fully believe that just because she has jack’s attention for a moment that he’s automatically hers.

innocent — frankie morales

you help frankie through the worst time of his life.

haunted — frankie morales

frankie leaves abruptly for work after promising you he was retired for good. you cant help but feel betrayed, and the moment you see him again after years of regretting him .. you make it known you’re not on talking terms.

last kiss — frankie morales

when frankie parts with you due to his inability to take care of himself, you were left heartbroken. he seemed to believe that he was completely alone within this world, that not even within your arms he would ever have a true home besides the battlefield. at some point in time, after years of fighting his own thoughts, you let out a deep breath and gave up. yet, that doesn’t mean you don’t miss him.

long live — pedro pascal

as a worldwide loved singer, pedro pascal attended one of your concerts due to going through a rough spot with his career and mental health. he was within your sight the entire time. he danced, hyped you up, and sang the entire time. after the show, you go out of your way to personally express your gratitude for his support and offer for him to come along on your journey as one of your guitarist. you two hastily build up a bond based off of many nights staying up and creating music along with one another.

ours — frankie morales

frankie worries about the communities opinion on your relationship, and you have to reassure him that he’s the only one you want.

if this was a movie (fearless?) — joel miller

joel and you abruptly breakup due to a moment of anxiety, and yet he doesn’t try to get you back.

superman — din djarin

din saves you from a dangerous situation, and it slightly sparks a mutual connection between the both of you. over time, you gain feelings for him and yet have to admire him from afar.

taylor swift — red

state of grace — javi gutierrez

you accidentally bump into javi within a busy street which caused his shirt to become ruined. you’re kindness sticks like honey within his mind, and soon enough you find him once more.

red — joel miller

a flashback of your greatest loss of a lover who brought out more emotion in you than you could of ever imagined.

treacherous — din djarin

as much as din hates the idea of putting you into danger, he can’t help but indulge himself within your warmth.

i knew you were trouble — javier peña

during a celebration party within a bar, javier bursts through the door making your eyes lock onto his. he smirked at your curious gaze, and that was the moment you knew how much trouble he would become.

all too well — joel miller

you remember your bipolar relationship with joel all too well.

22 — javi gutierrez

a fun outing with you, nick cage, and javi … that might consist of some hard drug usage.

i almost do — frankie morales

as frankie is countries away from you, you wonder if he’s in agony from the lacking of you as much as you are for him.

we are never ever getting back together — javier peña

after a continuous on and off relationship with javier, you finally break things off for good and improve your life for the better.

stay stay stay — javi gutierrez

after a small dispute between you and your boyfriend, you go up to him and tell him how you really feel.

the last time — joel miller

after always missing the mark with joel. you’re tired of the constant worrying and fighting for him to be part of your life. however, shows an interest in trying to work out one last time.

holy ground — agent whiskey

after meeting in a cute coffee shop, jack starts to show up more in your life.

sad beautiful tragic — frankie morales

long distance is hard, it’s even harder when the other is playing a dangerous game.

the lucky one — pedro pascal

being new to the fashion and fame, you can’t help but take notice to pedro pascal’s behavior towards the public eye.

everything has changed — javi gutierrez

a fateful meeting erranged by your parents changed your life for the best.

starlight — din djarin

after secretly leaving a mandated ball, you and din run off and have your own together.

begin again — javi gutierrez

after a tough breakup, you meet the definition of sunshine who completely changes your opinion on love.

the moment i knew — joel miller

after your dads best friends and your situationship, joel miller, doesn’t show up to your birthday party, you knew that things were over.

come back … be here — frankie morales

after leaving in the middle of the night for a mission, you instantly end things between the two of you because you know him better than he knows himself.

girl at home — oberyn martell

you know that oberyn has a wife, but you can’t help but give into his charms.

ronan — oberyn martell

the aftermath of oberyn’s departure from your life has been incredibly difficult for you to handle.

better man — javier peña

you cant help but wish that javier peña would change and be the better man you know he could be.

nothing new — pedro pascal

meeting pedro on the mandalorian set had been extremely exciting as it had been your first real role and it blossoms a friendship. however, as the years passes and your relationship with pedro grows your fortune and fame slow down you start to wonder if he’d still enjoy your presence you if you’re no longer shiny and new.

babe — javier peña

after breaking every promise he once eased your concerns for, you will not listen to a single excuse that he tries to make.

message in a bottle — javi gutierrez

after mutual pinning between you and javi begin to spike, the only way that you’re able to communicate it to the other is through passing of notes and stolen glances.

i bet you think about me — oberyn martell

living on a small farm, you’re shocked by the number of times you��ve ran into oberyn martell. he puts in more effort to know you than you’d expect from someone of such high status, and yet he is still succumbed to marrying another maiden.

forever winter — frankie morales

after coming back from the most traumatic experience of his life, he starts to feel utterly alone in his own melancholy. you find yourself unable to help him see the other side of things.

run — pedro pascal

the fame for the both of you have grown to be quite the trouble, and at a very important event he proposes to run away from everything. the paparazzi, the tabloids, the media … everything.

the very first night — javi gutierrez

after you and javi split up due to the dangerous of his life and how they may affect you, you can’t help but wish to return to his side.

taylor swift — 1989

welcome to new york — javi gutierrez

javi shows you around his hometown.

blank space — javier peña

as a new dea agent in a male dominated field, you prove to everyone around that you’re a force to be reckoned with — especially javier.

style — javier peña

all throughout high school, you and javier have been titled the most attractive couple. when javier left to achieve his dreams of becoming a dea agent, you’re forced to move on. though, you can’t experience the love that you shared with javier with anyone else. one day, you find javier standing on your doorstep.

out of the woods — joel miller

you have joel have been going through a rough patch in your relationship. the question rises that if you’re able to survive it?

all you had to do was stay — frankie morales

you rose an ultimatum for frankie to decide whether he would rather go off and return to his job, or stay by your side.

shake it off — javi gutierrez

you teach javi a way to cope with his cousins crude comments.

i wish you would — joel miller

your fathers best friend has always had a tight hold on your heart. after a violent fight on the phone, the both of you split apart and overtime you soak in the bath of missing him.

bad blood — oberyn martell

being apart of the lannister bloodline, you knew that oberyn loathed you from the first time he laid eyes upon you. throughout the years of seeing one another, you always tend to throw daggers at the others mental state.

wildest dreams — din djarin

being a princess hasn’t always been easy for you, especially when you’re in love with the head knight within your kingdom. when you are forced into an arranged marriage and he’s going off to fight in a war .. things get tricky.

how you get the girl — javier peña

javier peña screws up with you big time and had six months of pure torture to fully digest the severity of what he had put you though. one day he arrives at your doorstep asking for a second chance.

this love — joel miller

pre!outbreak joel instantly felt a spark between you two from the first time he saw you within the windows of a coffee shop. after the outbreak, you two were separated. minds filled with fear as to what happened to the other. until one day where you reunite.

i know places — agent whiskey

a secret love affair causes to meet in secluded areas where you can prove your devotion for the other without the consequences.

clean — frankie morales

after coming back from the high of his traumatic experience, he fell into an addiction with cocaine that seemed to be his only support. that was until you came into the picture and cheered on the sidelines as he fixed himself for him … and well, you.

wonderland — agent whiskey

the moment you and jack met, you were unable to not rush into things due to the infatuation you held for one another. you got completely lost in his presence. as fights and flaws surface, you wonder if these feelings you hold for him will be able to overcome all the other obstacles.

you are in love — din djarin

you meet the mandalorian within a small towns bar and one thing leads to another and you find yourself on a journey with him and developing feelings faster than space travel itself.

new romantics — din djarin

a joyful moment in your adventures with din and grogu.

taylor swift — reputation

… ready for it? — joel miller

within a bar you eye down joel who was the talk of the town. similar to you, everyone spoke of his rugged nature and temper. somehow, from across the bar and never meeting him you seem to connect with him on a spiritual level by one shared glance.

end game — pedro pascal

being the most talked about musical artist due to your extremely popular produced music and your heavily talented group of friends started off being extremely exhilarating. though, overtime the your reputation began to deteriorate due to the tabloids that stuck their pitchforks at you. eventually, you drifted away from the public eye to take a much needed break and that’s time period that you met pedro pascal who was gaining his attention within the media.

i did something bad — javier peña

going off of protocol in order to catch a narco with javier leads you both into some deep shit, even if you succeeded.

don’t blame me — oberyn martell

after an attempted assassination on you, oberyn tears down the entirety of his kingdom in order to find the rat that tried to take you from him.

delicate — javi gutierrez

your reputation within the town is questionably low for never talking with another. that’s the sole reason why you were shocked that another person held no disregard for you, and wanted to get to know the real you.

look what you made me do — joel miller

the outbreak caused a moral crisis with you and joel, and sometimes you just had to adjust to the cruel nature of the world.

so it goes … — javier peña

a private work love affair sparks between you and javier who have to keep everything between you two on the down low.

gorgeous — agent whiskey

after getting a little too drunk you were finally able to talk to jack (you’re long term crush that you watched from afar due to being too nervous), and a tension rises.

getaway car — joel miller

pov: running away from your past life with the thrilling new addition to it.

king of my heart — oberyn martell

you’ve always been on your own, and you were perfectly fine with it. that was until you began to be annoyed by the prince of doran who seems to take quite the interest in you.

dancing with our hands tied — javi gutierrez

as a result of your romance being completely secret, you and javi go through multiple close calls to your love being revealed.

dress — javier peña

a work event is underway, and you feel someone’s eyes trail you the entire night.

this is why we can’t have nice things — pedro pascal

you have always been known to host parties for all of your friends almost weekly (depending on your work schedule), and yet all of them turn their backs on you the moment the tabloids blatantly lie. all but one person, pedro.

call it what you want — pedro pascal

when your reputation falters, you run away into a private haze with your lover.

new year’s day — pedro pascal

hosting a new year’s eve party has never felt so bittersweet before.

taylor swift — lover

i forgot that you existed — javier peña

feeling as if the entire office is watching your every move, javier peña comes into your life to try and ease it.

cruel summer — javier peña

one summer night you were invited to a anniversary party of one of your friends, and you begin to realize the suffocating feelings you experience around your childhood best friend, javier peña.

lover — pedro pascal

after mutual back and forth pining with the obstacle that is fear of rejection, you and pedro find comfort within each others presence. later on, you’re proud to call him yours.

the man — javier peña

being in a male dominated field you come across multiple misogynistic comments which get the point that they want you to quit clear. you bite back, and only one person stands by your side.

the archer — joel miller

you knew how guarded joel was when you first met him and noticed his attacking stances. when you try to get closer to him, his spikes come out to push you away.

i think he knows — frankie morales

meeting your brothers best friend didn’t cross your mind to be a big deal … that was until you actually met him.

miss americana & the heartbreak prince — oberyn martell

the public doesn’t seem to like your relationship with oberyn and began to throw their tantrums about such an arrangement. however, if it’s you and him against the world then so be it.

paper rings — javi gutierrez

what more can i say than you want to marry him with paper rings?

corneila street — frankie morales

the first meeting you and frankie had ended up in a taxi and casually talking and mindlessly exchanging numbers. you never would’ve expected him to become such a major part of who you are, and the thought of losing him makes you physically ill.

death by a thousand cuts — joel miller

you didn’t let anyone in on the details of your love with joel. yet, that all backfires on you when you two split apart and your left to talk to the traffic lights about your greatest loss.

london boy — agent whiskey

you knew you were infected when you first laid eyes upon the cowboy and hear that childish laughter of his.

false god — javier peña

unwillingly being apart of the cartel, your undying love with a dea agent was absolutely insane and suicide if you were found out. however, you cant stop yourself from diving into your desires for him.

you need to calm down — pedro pascal

the reaction of the entire the last of us cast to the public’s reaction to the LGBTQ+ themes within the show.

afterglow — javi gutierrez

insecurities cause you to become wary in your first stable relationship. you look for mistakes that aren’t truly there and hurt the one you love most.

me! — agent whiskey

nobody is like you, and nobody is like your cowboy side piece.

it’s nice to have a friend — din djarin

you finally let’s someone into your life, letting down your walls. as much as you two were guarded, it’s nice to have a ‘friend’.

daylight — pedro pascal

you meet pedro on the set of the unbearable weight of massive talent, and unknowingly to you he’s a huge fan of all your films. soon enough, he’s mended to your hip and you’re casted in multiple films together as well as groups of people you hang out with.

taylor swift — folklore

the one — frankie morales

your pen pal, frankie morales, has been writing to you about his time in service. you write back and show him your support from a distance. as time goes on, the writing back and forth isn’t enough for him so he asked to meet up which you obliged. a romance starts and then finalizes when frankie succumbs to his previous nature once more, leaving you astray with the memory of him and abandoned letters.

cardigan — joel miller

as much as you knew joel like the back of your hand, he has always been afraid of commitment which leads to you having a friends with benefits type of relationship. one day, something in him changes and you notice straight away: he’s softer around you. that .. that terrifies him and sends him running away, leaving you all alone in the terrifying world.

the last great american dynasty — pedro pascal

the public’s opinion has always meant the world to you. you thrived on those good comments, those words of approval whenever you showcased an outfit or movie. the eyes of others made you feel worth it. the moment all of that comes crashing down, everything you built being burnt by lies, you crash and burn just as fast. you leave — disappear almost, and only pedro cares enough to check in on you.

exile — javier peña

since you and javier broke up, you have made it a point to move on .. to be happy without him beside you. it was challenging, but not seeing him everyday kade it much easier to push aside memories and focusing on someone new. however, the moment you see him in the brightly lit club, you cant push back the memories anymore.

my tears ricochet — din djarin

being a refugee princess, din takes it upon himself (and by being persuaded with your fathers money.) to take you away and protect you. though, that becomes much more of a struggle than he believed it were to be.

mirrorball — oberyn martell

oberyn has slept with everyone under the moon … everyone but you. you don’t understand why due to the fact that you two have become extremely close over the past few months. he hasn’t ever offered to take you to his chambers, only ever dinners and to spend time with one another. all the signs point to you that he is into you, but yet he doesn’t make a move.

seven — javi gutierrez

your childhood best friend has always been an enthusiastic soul. he beams like the sunshine, and yet you feel as if you’re the cloudy skies that ruin everyone’s days. he wants to tell you how much he adores you, but the words seems to be caught on his tongue.

august — frankie morales

due to your and frankie’s undying despise for one another, benny had proposed a bet that you both couldn’t act like you tolerated each other for a month straight. if you were to win, he’d give you concert tickets to both of your favorite singers, and if he won he’d receive $200 each.

this is me trying — frankie morales

you and frankie go off on a road trip together and the time alone brings along new coming feelings for one another. the only downside is that frankie is a mess and doesn’t know who he is while you already got everything figured out.

illicit affairs — joel miller

after a simple blind date that was conjured up by your peers, you and joel both have different perspectives on your newly founded connection. joel believes that it’s just a fling due to his tendency to push people away while you think it’s fate and he’s the love of your life.

invisible string — oberyn martell

if oberyn were to become king, he’d need a shiny, good looking side piece. that role was forced over to you by the hands of your father. even if you didn’t like or even KNOW him, you had to obey your fathers conditions. you didn’t have to talk to him, like him, or suck up to him, it’s all just for show … right?

mad woman — agent whiskey

after unexpectedly bumping into jack at a mutual friends wedding, you two communicated back and forth the entire time due to not knowing anyone else. at the end, you exchange numbers. as you both climb up the pyramid of one another’s hearts, it’s a stab in the chest to find out he’s been off fooling around with another woman.

betty — javier peña

coming back home from the hostile environment which columbia had provided him, he’s anxious that he’ll be spotted by his high school lover. it’s not that you two ended on bad terms, it’s just that he had betrayed you and wasn’t able to forgive himself. so, from afar he supports and looks out for you, whether that is with a boxed up poncho on a rainy day or your favorite chocolate that mysterious ends up on your doorstep.

peace — joel miller

during the pre!outbreak, you and joel had dropped off your kids every day at the same daycare. you never took much notice of him, but he did. one day, you accidentally bump into him and your coffee splatters all over his shirt which completely ruins it. then, outbreak happens and you two run into each other when all is chaos. that day .. you’ll never forget it.

hoax — javier peña

going up against javier in court is rough, and you constantly have to sneak through the cracks to keep him on his toes. not only that is it rough because of that, but you’re also in a private fling with him. the moment you sense infidelity, you take this case to a personal level and go for his throat.

the lakes — pedro pascal

being at the peak of both of your careers it is extremely difficult to find a moment to yourself, even more so with other people without any cameras being targeted onto you at all times. your beloved costar, pedro pascal, is experiencing the same type of harassment from the media. whenever you two get a moment alone the cameras begin to flash, separating you both into your own worlds of fame.

taylor swift — evermore

willow — oberyn martell

as a prince, oberyn shouldn’t ever be seen with the less fortunate. he should surround himself with the most luscious living styles. however, he can’t help but fall into the arms of his gardener whenever he needs a break from his suffocating life.

champagne problems — javi gutierrez

you never believed that being in love was anything that you could achieve. not that it wasn’t real, but it just wasn’t for you. javi tries everything in his power to make you see that love is for anyone especially you.

gold rush — javier peña

living in an apartment in columbia, your life has always been extremely stressful. after researching ways to ease this built up tension within you, you decide to get a puppy. the untrained pet tears up your neighbors flowers, and that was the moment you met the breathtakingly handsome javier peña.

‘tis the damn season — javier peña

you’ve always had this attraction for javier, even with all of his blatant flaws you cannot help yourself by indulging in him whenever he magically appears within his hometown. without being in contact for so long, you know that his first stop is always you whenever he’s near.

tolerate it — joel miller

you have always been a hit on the softer side. you tend to give your everything into someone as you pour all of you out into small acts of gratitude. when you meet joel, you see right through his walls and you try everything in your power to make him feel your admiration which causes you to realize that you had underestimated his ability to guard himself and not show any emotion.

no body, no crime — agent whiskey

after being locked in a loveless marriage that’s filled with infidelity and neglect, jack and your best friend este takes it upon himself to free you from your hellhole. if he can’t have you, nobody can .. especially your ex husband.

happiness — frankie morales

due to your job as a secret nurse for the injured soldiers that make their way into your care, you inevitably meet frankie. he reluctantly spends quite a few weeks in your care, and during that time he tries to build up his courage to ask you out. when his time comes to an end .. will he be able to get the words off his tongue?

dorothea — javi gutierrez

you and javi have always been best friends, even when you two were crawling around on the ground absentmindedly there has always been a certain sense of mutual admiration. you were always there for him, visa versa. when you grow up, you become well known through your singing career and him his fathers buisness. however, the only difference is you move away from home due to your parents and he stays back.

coney island — frankie morales

frankie and you have always been complete opposites since the day you met him. your brothers, william and ben miller, have always been super protective of you and kept you away from the tragedies that occurred abroad while you stayed and finished your studies to become a therapist. while you’re open about your feelings, frankie isn’t. while your comfortable within your own skin, frankie isn’t. while you’re content within your direction of life, frankie absolutely isn’t. over time, you two develop some sort of connection between one another that cannot be denied and the opposing traits within your lives may or may not crumble you to the ground.

ivy — oberyn martell

being wedded to another man who treated you poorly has always been your worst regret; however, there’s nothing you can do about it due to the fact that it was arranged in order to keep peace throughout the kingdoms. your heart has always been oberyn’s to hold, and he’s well aware of that. to keep your family name in tact as well as taking charge of your own happiness, you and oberyn have a secret love affair that consists of alleyway talks, walks within the flower-filled valleys, and sending of letters.

cowboy like me — agent whiskey

after unknowingly dropping your wallet, jack picks it up and ensures that it returns back to your side. when you do get it back, you sense a particular type of connection that binds you two together as if you’re similar to him in a way. you’re guarded, always have been, always will be and perhaps so is he. will either of you ever be able to let down those walls that you hold dear?

long story short — din djarin

being one of the most reliable bounty hunters, he takes on one that is worth more than he’s ever been paid prior. however, this catch has taken the title of being one of his greatest catches and gives him quite the hard time. over time, his frustration slowly turns into admiration of her quick thinking skills.

closure — javier peña

as the ambassadors daughter, you hold a high regard around the office as you come just to help out the helpless workers around. you knew how hard they work and you admire that about them. javier, however, is the only one on your bad side due to his lacking of personal space towards women in the workplace. steve and you are close. in all honesty you’re best friends and you’ll sign him whatever paper work he may need since you have that authority within the work place. javier keeps his eyes on you, intrigued by you over all aura. even long after you leave to branch out elsewhere, he still sends you letters updating you on everything.

evermore — joel miller

after his first love, he never thought that he’d ever find another chance. the older he got, the more hope died out. when he first met you, you were a simple librarian who took on a motherly role to sarah who loved to listen while you read to her. she honestly just loved being in your warm presence that seemed to affect joel in some way as well. even though you may seem as if you have everything together, you’re just as much of a mess as joel is and you don’t exactly know how to express that to him.

right where you left me — javier peña

to catch a cartel member, you and your obnoxious partner, javier, have planned out to go undercover as a married couple to inch closer to the target. even if you loathe him, the closeness between you two during these times have began to soak into your heart which is dangerous since all this is and ever will be is acting.

it’s time to go — oberyn martell

after being forced to marry oberyn, you gave you all into making sure his life was perfect the moment he stepped foot into the castle. you prepared every meal with precise instructions after knowing his favorite meals, and set the table beautifully every time he sat down. though, even with all that you were doing for him he still found pleasure in other people. even after all you’ve done, he continued to treat you like a ghost and you finally have enough of it.

taylor swift — midnights

lavender haze — agent whiskey

the moment you met jack, it was magical. as if like sparks flew instantly which swarmed you two. however, being the head of secret agency’s daughter .. there was a lot which could split you two apart for good. you’re the first thing that made sense and brought out a passion in him since his first love — his high school sweetheart.

maroon — joel miller

being the pretty little thing next door to joel, it was only inevitable that you two had formed a bond within the grey area of romance and friendship. you two had increasingly contrast and difficult problems that only caused you two to split apart. two soulmates that met at the wrong period within their lives.

anti-hero — din djarin

having a difficult time processing the fact that someone like you — or anyone for that matter, could ever truly love him without seeing his face. so, he pushes you away. he wants you to leave, but couldn’t handle it if you left. he’s slowly learning how to love. more importantly, how to love himself.

snow on the beach — din djarin

taking on the position as nanny for grogu within their newly founded house as din goes off to collect bounties had struck up some mutual interest within both parties. you couldn’t help but wonder through stolen moments of this unknown and unstated tension between you if he truly wanted something more from you or just for you to watch the kid you truly enjoyed being with.

you’re on your own, kid — frankie morale

being the new girl in town has caused a lot of talk to spread around about you. you had moved here after your father had virtually kicked you out after years of putting up with his bullshit. you were on your own, and then all of a sudden you bumped into frankie who was equally as fucked up as you were. you both devoured within the broken pieces of the other, as if you found some comfort knowing that you’re not the only one who sees the world as a abyss of only suffering. sadly, you tend to break off the remaining healed bones that the other has.

midnight rain — javi gutierrez

arriving in javi’s hometown, you were a undercover agent to seek out his dirty secrets about his family. you never expected to fall so fast for him and his sunshine light; however, that’s exactly why you left him broken-hearted in the rain as he had been left watching your disappearing figure on one knee. he should’ve know that your worst fear of all really was commitment.

question …? — javier peña

being the ambassadors daughter, you were always considered a ‘good girl’. you were innocent, kept away from all the dangers of the world and flushed into the world of books and fantasy that gave you a taste of the type of affection which you craved for. your best friend since arriving at the headquarters, steve, had always been tied at your hips which resulted in your inescapable meeting with javier who would ruin your entire life for the better AND worse. your world completely flipped after looking into those dark eyes which were always filled with an indescribable emotion.

vigilante shit — oberyn martell

after the lannisters had killed off your brother, you and oberyn team up as an indescribably attractive and dangerous duo. the power which you both held together was a high you never wanted to come down from, and frankly, neither did he. he flushed himself within your demeanor, and never wanted to come out from those depths that only you could put him through. you both take the revenge which you desperately craved for, as well as a dip into each other.

bejeweled — din djarin

after a small fight with din over your contrast personalities, you decide that you needed a night out to get this built up tension off your shoulders. going to a club, all shimmery and glamoured up, may become your worst nightmare as you notice din had come to follow you. from the shadows, he closely analyzed you as you continued to party and dance like nothing he has ever seen before. in that moment, he realized how much he was lucky to have you alongside him. you both brought out things in each other which you couldn’t imagine without them.

labyrinth — joel miller

after his wife left him with sarah, he was terrified to raise a child all alone. the pain overtook him. he didn’t think he could ever do such a thing no matter how hard he tried — without his wife, no matter how difficult she was, he felt completely incompetent. the cries of a baby and anxious clattering on the porch brought you to look over the fence to take in your neighbor’s panicked state. without a second thought, you jumped into action and helped him. that was a moment he felt the first wave of affection directed towards only you.

karma — din djarin

being a heavily leveraged princess that had multiple admires and enemies, your father had bought a certain mandalorians protection to keep you safe. little did he know that you and that mandalorian named din, would ever develop a secret relationship. he was your bodyguard that would completely demolish anyone which stood in your path by the snap of your fingers.

sweet nothing — pedro pascal

being a middle class person who had a decent job, decent house, and decent clothes; you were walking back to your small apartment in the streets of new york. you didn’t notice someone walking past you and you accidentally slammed into them. you weren’t on social media due to your personal mental health and how much it affected you, so you didn’t know that you had bumped into pedro pascal. you quickly apologized, and left without another word which caught him off guard by not being recognized. you started seeing him everywhere, which slowly developed into something more. you wanted absolutely nothing from him, and it was so sweet.

mastermind — din djarin

the moment that you noticed din within a small farmers market down town, it was only because he had accidentally bumped into your hand when trying to grab a fruit for grogu. you softly smiled at him and apologized, taking in his shiny appearance. you couldn’t tell that his mouth was completely agape, and he had already been planning of a thousand different ways to make you love him and make it seem completely effortless.

the great war — javier peña

during the battle between the cartel, a secret relationship was the last thing you needed on your plate; yet, low and behold javier peña had forced himself into your guarded heart, and yours into his. you both held up walls so high which continuously blocked each other out more than shields did to protect the living from bullets. the war between the cartel, your lacking to commit to javier, and his informants, brought too much pain and suffering to the both of you. if he’d ever survived this horrid patch with you still standing beside him, he swore that he’d bend down on one knee and propose to you.

bigger than the whole sky — joel miller

being joel’s longterm friend, he was appalled to hear that you had been holding back announcing your engagement to him. he never liked your partner due to the fact that he never treated you exactly how you deserved. you and him held this certain attitude towards the other that you only could receive once in your entire life; yet, you both continuously made a point to stay within this grey area towards one another. you both feared rejection terribly, being — meaning too much to the other to ever risk losing that. so, joel sucks everything he feels for you up, and watches you as you walk down the aisle with a solem look of pure disappointment.

paris — pedro pascal

after getting increasingly tired of your ‘friends’ who consistently gossip about everyone under the sun, you decide to drift into one of the balconies in paris. your eyes soon met the darker ones held by pedro pascal on the other buildings balcony that faced yours. who knew that in later dates you would be running down the streets of paris alongside him getting drunk within the abyss that only consisted of him.

high infidelity — javier peña

“just one minute”, was the phrase that you and javier had engrained into your souls. that was until you found out that after all the time you spent together you were his mistress. you continue to love him from a distance, making choices for the benefit of him without his input.

glitch — frankie morales

after a one night stand, which was only suppose to be a ONE night stand, you keep on meeting frankie in the most awkward times. the more you spend with him, the more attractive he gets — the more you want to know him not only physically, but more deeply … mentally. you didn’t care about the level ugliness in him. you could only see the man who has been nothing but an agent to you.

would’ve, could’ve, should’ve — javier peña

being considered a ‘sweet, innocent, good girl’ amongst the entire town which resided in texas was the first thing javier heard about you. you were on top of church meetings, you baked cookies for kids every wednesday, you took it upon yourself to do community work which nobody else would do, but most importantly .. you helped out his father all the time. due to his old age, he couldn’t do a lot of housework and being his neighbor you were more than willing to assist him. javier was the complete opposite of you, and that only brought you to be more interested in him. however, all of that would fade when he brutally took every piece of your innocence and completely left you to return to the battle against the cartel.

dear reader — joel miller

being a student of professor joel miller, you took extra sessions that he offered in order to get a better knowledge about his lessons. in all honesty, you began to go to him for life advice and he would assist you. though, the more time you spent together … the more time you started to analyze him. you managed to squeeze your way through into his aching heart and see the real side of him. the one that goes to an emptily home and drink his way to sleep, the one that you would make everything better by just being by his side for support.

hits different — pedro pascal

after a critical breakup between you and pedro, you were left broken hearted. it took a bigger tole on you than you thought it was going to. you got more drunk at the private bars than you ever thought you’d do. the public opinion was just as heartbroken as you since they cherished you two together more than anyone else. you were voted as most loved public couple and now that just seemed to be its own joke every time you looked at the award within your apartment. you soak yourself within the feeling of disappointment. then, you heard a familiar key turning down in the hallway and you immediately perk up at the thought of the ‘what if?’ question.

[fasa-umich]

My Experience in FASA Through Cryptic Song Lyrics <3 || Angeli Fandiño, FASA'S 2022 - 2023 Co-Social Chair

“Feels like we’ve been through war together. Feels like you’ve been right here forever. But I don’t even know you at all.” - I Don’t Know You At All, Lizzy McAlpine

bucket hat baby!

Before my college career, I genuinely had no concept of what it meant to be Filipino. I grew up thinking that being Filipino was just a fact of life—it wasn’t my identity. I only knew some Filipino dishes, I had only been to the Philippines twice in my lifetime, and (surprise surprise) I couldn’t speak Tagalog. If you asked me who I was while I was still in high school, I would’ve responded with adjectives like athletic, musical, funny, or stubborn. My Filipino culture was always a part of me subconsciously, but it was never an aspect of my personality that I found worthy of conversation with people outside of my immediate family. It was much easier to acknowledge my Filipino heritage through jokes about the brownness of my skin or by contributing to my classmates’ ill comments on Asian stereotypes. I often look back at the person I was throughout my childhood and wish that I hadn’t been so indifferent to learning about my culture, but that’s why I am now so grateful that FASA has given me this opportunity to explore the part of identity that I had once suppressed for so long. 

“You gave me a meaning to my life, yes, I’ve gone beyond existing. And it all began when I met you.” - When I Met You, APO Hiking Society

“OMG LOOK, it’s Greenwood—the super cool, underground but upcoming Filipino American cover band at U of M that performs a wide range of genres from OPM to R&B and indie rock!!!” – real anonymous gen mem

When I first joined FASA, I’ll admit that I originally felt obligated to because of how involved my older sister Bea was. I already knew a majority of Bea’s friends, so joining FASA was more of a “why not?” situation than it was a “how could I pass this up?” opportunity. My thinking quickly shifted though at Fall Mass Meeting last year. I vividly remember the boba push with my small group after the event and traversing as a large Filipino clan from Rackham to Ding Tea. I think this was honestly one of the first times in my life that I had hung out with Asian people outside of my family. It sounds soo cliche, but it was on that walk that I started to feel different about my Fil-Am identity. I remember how welcoming and conversational everyone was and how eager we all were to learn each other's names. Never had I ever thought that I could find a community so fast, let alone in a demographic of people that I once wanted nothing to do with. From that day on, I involved myself in every FASA event that my busy schedule would allow, and I’ve made friendships here that I know will last a lifetime. 

“This weight’s too much alone. Some days I can’t hold it at all; you take it on for me. When tomorrow’s too much, I’ll carry it all, I got you.” - I Got You, Jack Johnson

my lovely e-board family &lt;3

Confession time! Even though I was elected for Social Chair this year, I actually only went to a grand total of 2 out of the 7 social events as a freshman (half of Fall Mass Meeting, Fall FAM/Lin Reveal, and [not even] half of FAM Games). This was quite frustrating because almost all of the major events I missed were due to scheduling conflicts or prior commitments. I thought that I was “falling behind” in making friends in FASA because I had been so used to that high school mindset of “establish a friend group and stick to it.” However, I could not have been more naive. I eventually learned that although FASA can look like a large or intimidating community at a glance, it quickly becomes family. FASA has taught me that anyone and everyone is welcome here, whether you are Filipino by blood or Filipino by love (#FACT2022). 

This is why I wanted to run for Social Chair last year (aside from the fact that Amanda had been planting seeds since Day 1 and I’m an easily convincible person); I wanted to cater towards the members of FASA who, maybe like me, also had packed schedules and could only attend a small handful of social events. With every event I put on, I wanted to create an environment where new faces would feel safe to be themselves and eventually call FASA home. Of course, I wouldn’t have been able to attempt any of this vision without this incredible board and especially the following people…

“Cause we’re okay, we’re fine. Baby I’m here to stop your crying… Adding up the total of a love that’s true, multiply life by the power of two.” - Power of Two, Indigo Girls

Bea (left), appearing age: 14; Angeli (right), appearing age: older?

(Ate) Bea: Thank you for introducing me to this home away from home. Thank you for letting me have the same friends as you and follow you around at FASA events whenever I would get anxious. I’ve definitely said a whole Senior Farewell speech about how much you mean to me, so you can refer to that again if you want to be reminded of more warm n fuzzies 🥱. But honestly, in high school, I wish I had a better appreciation for what it meant that you were a single Performance Chair who choreographed PCN and choreographed/competed in Battle, and the fact that you were Co-President during an entirely virtual school year is nothing to gloss over either. I might be a little late to the game, but I’m very proud and impressed of all that you accomplished within FASA. Thank you for leading by example of how to embrace my Fil-Am self, and I’m so glad we could share this community together. 

Me and Mandy at the intern event last year &lt;3

Amanda: I’ll never forget how you recruited me to FASA before I even set foot on campus as a freshman. We were at Lucas’ grad party over the summer, we were standing by the dunk tank, and the conversation went something like this…

Amanda: Hey! Are you Bea’s sister? I’m Amanda, Sam’s cousin!

Me: Oh yes I am! Hi, nice to meet you!

Amanda: I’m the social chair. You should join FASA.

Me: ..Okay.

FAST FORWARD >> It’s a little bit over a year ago today, and the scene is set in one of the union basement booths (duh)...

Amanda: Hey are you running for board?

Me: Uhhh maybe, I’m not sure yet. I was thinking about it.

Amanda: You should run for social chair.

Me: Okay.

If you had not planted these seeds, I would not be here! You’ve been a major support system to me in FASA since, quite literally, Day 0. I know I can always count on you for honest advice and just a shoulder to lean on. Thank you for showing Andrew and I the ropes of being socials and never getting (visibly) annoyed at our many questions or concerns. I simply could not have pictured my FASA experience, let alone my time as social, without you <3. See you at the next lin hang! Haha get it cuz–

Alyssa and JC: Hey slays. I just wanted to pop in here and say that I think we finally squashed the beef this year (#walangbeef). This “socials vs culturals” war has gone on long enough, and I thank you guys for constantly being an open ear and available resource in all the events Andrew and I put on this year. Andrew and I might’ve grumbled at first at the idea of implementing elements of culture into every social event, but you helped us find ways to make it fun and intentional. I’m constantly amazed at the duo you guys are, as real recognizes real 🤝. I have really enjoyed working with you guys on board this year, and I am so proud of the work we accomplished together. Cheers to no more beef ❌🥩🥂

Sophia Grace Samson: you are so wrong for that angelisa pic. even though you were not too kind to me in your own testimonial, i’ve decided to turn the other cheek (heh) and write you a nice poem anyway. ahem…

Roses are red 🌹,

Violets are blue 🫐,

To my favorite nickels 🪙 ,

I’m so glad I met you 🥰 

here’s to more waffle house adventures, nickel debriefs, and trips to urgent care!

xoxo,  

foop

“Caught you cryin’ cuz you be jealous. Don’t be whinin’ if you wanna be us 😎” - [REDACTED], Andreli

your friendly neighborhood social chairs, Andreli 🕷️🕸️

Andrew: Story time! For anyone who doesn’t know, the first time Andrew and I met was not a positive experience (yes I am going to expose the both of us here). Andrew and I had dm’d a bit over the summer because Bea and Mango (hi mom, hi dad) suggested we become friends going into the school year to have a familiar face on campus. After maybe a couple weeks of chatting, I kinda ghosted Andrew (oops) and we didn’t end up meeting until the first day of Tagalog. Ate Irene had asked everyone why we all wanted to learn Filipino, and Andrew answered with, “I’m tired of my parents talking about me behind my back.” Everyone laughed, but apparently he looked over at me and I had a “scary,” unamused, dead expression. I was planning on introducing myself after class, but he immediately zipped out of the room and I thought to myself, “wow rude,” just to find out later that it was because he was scared of me! But wowow, fast-forward 19 months later, and here we are… 

Mannn, you already know that I couldn’t have done this job with anybody else. There are so many little traditions that I’m going to miss as co’s: post-meeting jam sessions, CAPS massage chairs, our outro + tagline, and just sitting for hours in the Union Panera bouncing off ideas until our brains are completely fried. Even though we always joke we’re the exact same person, I’ve learned a lot from you this year. You taught me how to never doubt myself and always give 110% into whatever I care about. You also taught me that although we are both perfectionists, nothing is ever going to go according to the original plan. We had to be alert yet composed at all times, which was never an easy task. As tiring of a position as Social Chair is, I never felt like either one of us settled with an event. We held each other accountable while understanding how to take space when needed. All of the ambitious and elaborate events we’ve pulled off continue to amaze me and make me proud of our tenure together. From planning a whole scavenger hunt and escape room to forming a real band with Greenwood (shoutout to Catrina, our third og member), I’m really amazed at the team we’ve become. Thanks for always keeping my ego in check, for becoming one of my best friends, and for being the best co I could ask for. Action items: GenAPA, be mush, and finish writing our album!

To the future Social Chairs: Simply put, this position and your time on board is whatever you make it to be. The biggest piece of advice I have for you is to never forget your “why”-- why did you run for social chair, what is the impact you want to leave on this community, and how are you going to do so? It’s easy to think that as a social chair, you have to constantly go above and beyond, always innovating and creating until you burn yourself out. Something I wish I knew at the beginning of the year was that although it can be fun to constantly invent new ideas, FASA can always use more laidback, chill events too. Remember, you facilitate da vibes. It doesn’t always have to be “go big or go home.” Just be there for your general members and they’ll see that you care <3. Be alert, don’t be too prideful to ask for help, pivot on the fly, and trust in your co. I’m very excited to see what you guys accomplish next year, and I will happily be here for support if you ever need anything!

awww yeahhhh!!

To FASA: A lot of other people joke that my only personality trait nowadays is being Filipino, but I honestly wouldn’t have it any other way. Thank you for being the community that has taught me how to be my most honest and unapologetic self. You’ve been responsible for the most meaningful aspects of my college experience thus far, and I wouldn’t trade that for anything. It’s been a pleasure being your Social Chair this year, and I’ll see you around!

Signing off for now, your friendly neighborhood Social Chair, 

Angeli <3

[ryan-waddell11]

IVE BEEN DYING TO TALK ABOUT THIS.

I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again, MIKE SHOULD’VE DIED. This is in no way meant to be a dig at Finn Wolfhard, he’s an incredible talent and he gets WAY too much hate!! I just think storywise it would’ve made more sense!!

HEAR ME OUT:

we all know Will says Mike is the heart of the group, now I know everyone was making fun of that comment, but it actually makes sense and what I’m about to explain!! Mike is the ONLY character connected to every single group on a specific level.

Let’s start with the fruity four:

Steve: this is one of Steve’s children, and he is insanely close with Dustin, who we all know is Steve’s favorite. He is also the little brother of Nancy, the girl he can’t get over.

Robin: Robin is well aware of this dynamic with Steve and the kids, and by association Robin would be upset, but I do think she would be the member of the free, for that would probably be the least affected just because she doesn’t seem to have that bond with any of the kids except maybe Dustin because he is so close to Steve.

Nancy: that is her little brother, and even if she would admit it or not, we all know, Nancy would not recover from the death of her little brother. She still blames herself so much for the death of Barb and she would crumble if he died.

Eddie: although Eddie was newer this season we saw how he connected with the members in the hellfire club. He felt the need to kind of be a little protective over them and Mike was 100% a part of that, and it would’ve affected Eddie.

California Teens:

Argyle: also, a new character, the season I think he would’ve been sad if he died, but Argyle didn’t know him enough, but I think he would’ve felt horrible for the buyers more than anything.

Jonathan: he knows that Mike is Will’s best friend in the entire world and he knows what Mike did to find Will and to help Will in the first two seasons. Jonathan is not stupid and he sees the way his brother looks it Mike. Not only would it crush Jonathan to see Will so sad it would crush Jonathan to see Nancy sad, and for Jonathan to lose someone that he’s grown up with would hurt him too. Mike, is like another brother to him.

The Party:

Will: he has stated that Mike is his best friend in this group, and we can tell their dynamic is incredibly deep. Mike, in my opinion, always seem to be the one in the first two seasons, willing to rip up boards and burn down houses to try and find Will and help him even when he was possessed in the second season. Will would not be able to cope with the death of Mike and I think this could’ve led to a really interesting villain arc for him.

Lucas: not only has Lucas growing up with Mike and he knows how Mike is as a friend. He was also a member of the hellfire club, and again he’s growing up with him. That’s a childhood best friend, and it would be crushing to lose that. 

Dustin: very similar to Lucas, Dustin would be affected, probably the exact same way, because that is one of their childhood friends and it’s not easy to lose a friend that you’ve known for years.

Max: these two had difficulties, but Mike came around and they do have a decent relationship. I don’t think it’s explored as much as it easily could be, but I see the potential for them to be good friends, but she would’ve been just sad because she wanted him to accept her into the party, and when he finally did that was a good moment for her 

Eleven: this one is pretty obvious. This is her first person ever. He was the one that befriended her. He was her first love, and he means so much to her. This whole season was about her struggling because she lost her powers I would have loved to have seen her just flip a switch (similar to how she did during the Nina project when she was angry and made the guards fly away from her), and gain her powers back, because that emotion of anger and sadness triggered the resurrection of her powers. She would 100% be devastated, but she would be even more angry if he was Vecna’d.

Adults:

Hopper: Hopper, after getting back from Russia would have been heartbroken for El, that is his kid and when your kid hurts, you hurt.

Joyce: I also think Joyce would have a really hard time with it because of how close Will and Mike are. Mike helped her early on try to find Will and, like I said before tried to help him and he was possessed and he has always been like an extra sibling to the buyers kids. His death would’ve devastated her. 

Karen: this one is self-explanatory this is his mother she would absolutely be devastated. No question about it. 

By killing Mike, his death would’ve been so interconnected to every single group and person in that group that it just would’ve made for a kick ass season five redemption arc/villain arc that we could’ve gotten from several characters. It would’ve been interesting to see so many of the characters, struggle, and be so weak, because they physically don’t know what to do because they lost someone so crucial to them. Especially because that’s what Vecna feeds on and by weakening that bond with everyone, it makes them an easier target. Plus if they went with Will being a villain, it would’ve been so brilliantly executed, but because that’s not what they did, they have me groveling and making theories and trying to not sound delusional into having Eddie come back.

Absolutely no hunting down. I kinda feel like someone from the main group should have died and Eddie was the sacrificial lamb so they could live. And I’m mad about it.

Yup, I got nothing to add.