tickley-totem

[varsiathederg]

God this colour scheme is gaudy but fuck it we ball. Perhaps I’ll be able to get things sorted tomorrow, who knows.

[jenscx]

KISS ME MORE — ning yizhuo

tldr: my (22f) gay roommate’s (21f) dating life makes me feel weird. she’s one of my best friends but now i’m wondering if i could be homophobic.

tags fluff, crack, jealousy, non-idol au, roommates, based off that one reddit story, short fic, dialogue heavy, mentions of jmj, hi yunjin! tw for oblivious ning, pacing’s weird kinda

wordcount 5.2k

🎙️ author’s note: happy birthday ning! late fic ik… but i’ve been busy (i’m sorry 😞) hope our dearest main vocal stays happy for the rest of her life! can’t imagine aespa without her 🤍 happy reading~

r/relationships posted by

u/throwawaylizard 16 hours ago.

TLDR: my (22f) gay roommate’s (21f) dating life makes me feel weird. she’s one of my best friends but now i’m wondering if i could be homophobic.

i am currently roommates with this girl, A. we've been staying together ever since we graduated and we’re very close. sometimes we’ll even jokingly flirt with each other but she knows i’m straight and she has never made me uncomfortable before. i’m a foreigner and A has definitely helped me grow accustomed to the culture here. i owe it all to her. which is why i’m confused about my feelings right now.

i’ve never thought of myself to be discriminatory towards anyone and i always welcomed those different from me, regardless of their sexual orientation. however, recently my roommate has come out to me. i supported her and didn’t think much of it after. but here’s where the problem starts. she came back with a girl a few days ago that i recognise from our extended friend group. i have nothing against gay people but when i saw the girl, i just felt so upset. at first i thought it was because i was in a bad mood and all i wanted was to cuddle with A, but afterwards, A would progressively get more touchy with that girl (lets call her Y). every time i would see them, i just felt bad. i wanted to puke at the sight.

i caught them making out on the couch once and i got so pissed off. i think it was because of a rough day but basically when my roommate started to apologise, i just blew her off. Y seemed embarrassed too. i felt really bad afterwards since A was really hurt by my action. she asked me why i was so angry and i just lied saying that something at work made me upset. i don’t want to tell her that it was because seeing her with a girl that i was annoyed.

there was another incident where she brought Y to our weekly game night. all my friends seemed fine with her, except for me. one of my friends, let’s call her M, had to pull me aside to ask what was wrong with me. in that moment, i realised that i was only hurting A and Y by being a jerk. i’m normally a polite person but that day i was being unnecessarily rude to someone i didn’t even know. i chalked it up as wanting only the best for A since she’s a year younger than me and wanting to protect her. she doesn’t really date anyone and she’s very quiet. am i being unreasonable? i really don’t want to be homophobic. i told M all about my feelings of homophobia and she told me that she was dating a girl too. i didn’t know why she brought it up but then she asked if i felt any disgust towards her for being gay. i said no and that her sexual orientation would never change our friendship.

so she asked why do i only feel that way towards A? and i want to extend that question to everyone here too. can someone help? do you have any experience with something like this? i don’t want to lose A as a friend. she’s one of my best friends and i can’t see myself not standing beside her in the future. we’ve been through a lot together and i don’t want this to be the reason why we end our friendship. she’s never once complained about my dating life and it feels hypocritical to do the same to hers. but i just feel queasy whenever she brings up other girls. like i want to bash my head against the wall type.

do i have selective homophobia? can someone help?

⇧ 157 | ⇩ | 89 comments

u/betterthingz01 | 12h

op i hate to break this to you… but i think you might be in love with your roommate.

u/throwawaylizard | 12h

can you elaborate? please!!!

u/flatearther | 11h

Are u sure u don’t have a crush on A? Or that u are straight?

u/throwawaylizard | 10h

uhm well i’m straight… so i don’t think i have a crush on A but if i was into girls, i’d definitely fall in love with her!! she’s really sweet and caring.

u/flatearther | 10h

Oh 😭😭

u/mingmingz | 7h

how do you feel if your roommate brought back a different girl? maybe you just don’t like Y as a person?

u/throwawaylizard | 7h

she used to bring other girls around too i think they were just friends though. i felt the same way but just seeing her kiss Y makes me want to throw up :((

u/blueskies444 | 5h

have u tried talking to ur roommate? i think communication is the best solution here

u/throwawaylizard | 4h

i talked to her a few days ago, asking her if she could stop bringing Y to our hangouts or apartment because it feels weird. our friend group only really consisted of five people and as bad as it sounds, Y just felt like an intruder. she kinda looked at me weird before agreeing. but then she asked if i would be fine if she went to Y’s apartment instead and obviously i said it wasn’t any of my business. A got a little upset and we haven’t been talking recently…

u/blueskies444 | 4h

i’m gonna be real w u for a sec and say that A is most definitely trying to get u jealous

u/throwawaylizard | 3h

why would she do that?

u/blueskies444 | 2h

yeahhh i’m not the one who should tell u why

“ning yizhuo, why am i getting messages from jimin unnie saying that she found your reddit post?” minjeong’s voice shrills out behind yizhuo. the girl shrinks, shivers running down her spine at the thought of anyone finding out about her post. she had resorted to reddit for help after much consideration and even aeri had said that reddit was surprisingly helpful at times.

“that’s not me! you’ve got the wrong person!”

minjeong rolls her eyes and tosses her phone onto yizhuo’s desk, “that’s literally you. ddongie would be upset to know that he’s a throwaway lizard.”

yizhuo instantly protests, “that just means that it isn’t my main account! i didn’t want people to find my real account.”

“oh, so you are throwaway lizard?”

she cowers at minjeong’s intense gaze, knowing that her little slip up just cost her whole facade.

“well the comments were helpful!”

“did you not reread what you typed out?”

minjeong’s genuine tone makes yizhuo hesitate.

“yeah? did i make a lot of spelling mistakes…?”

“no! did you not realise?” minjeong asks again. yizhuo huffs, swerving back around in her chair, “realise what? that i’m a bad friend? y/n hasn’t talked to me in days.”

just as she said in her reddit post, you haven’t spoken a word to her ever since that day she confronted you. yizhuo doesn’t think she was super mean with her words but the way you had reacted made it seemed like she killed your whole family.

she had only said, “hey, can you stop bringing yunjin over?” and her mere words had launched a full-blown argument where you had insinuated that yizhuo was jealous that you had someone to rely on.

it couldn’t have been further from the truth! yizhuo would never be upset about your happiness. any semblance of bitterness had lessened when she saw how bright your smile was or how much you were laughing when yunjin would tell a joke.

(she didn’t find it funny but at least you laughed. yunjin was the epitome of dad jokes. she was not funny.)

“she really hasn’t? wow, she’s determined,” minjeong chuckles.

yizhuo rolls her eyes and turns her attention back to her sketchbook. a few scrawned out designs, nothing much. just to take her mind off this situation for now. the pencil drawings somehow only manages to ensure that her brain constantly thinks about you though. how you encouraged her to enrol in a fashion course and how you were certain that yizhuo would become the biggest designer ever known.

she would giggle at your claims and humour you. now all that was left was your silence.

“why would she be determined to ignore me?” yizhuo asks, sighing, “i was upset but now it just seems like she thinks i don’t want her to be happy.”

minjeong raises an eyebrow, “what did the comments say? did they help?”

yizhuo huffs just thinking about the reddit comments. none of them really helped her to identify her feelings. just stating that she was gay and in love. both wrong!

“they said i’m in love with y/n and i’m jealous of yunjin,” she answers coolly, trying not to get too worked up over the false accusations.

minjeong winces, “do you think they’re right?”

yizhuo furrows her eyebrows.

“no?! i’m not gay!”

“but do you like y/n?”

“no! she’s just a very good friend!”

the brunette sighs, “that’s what they all say.”

“minjeong!”

yizhuo couldn’t be in love with you. no way. you were really just a good friend. one of her closest. she adored you greatly and wanted the best for you.

“so why are you so upset?” minjeong asks.

“i don’t know! that’s why i’m asking reddit! but now i just look like an idiot,” yizhuo groans, wanting to pull her hair out of frustration, which truly shows how irritated she was. she would never harm her hair.

“yizhuo, have you ever considered that you’re not as straight as you thought?”

yizhuo turns back to face minjeong, who’s sitting on her bed. she thinks back to all the times you’ve hung out with her. the lingering touches of comfort. the warmth she felt whenever you spoke.

she just wants her friend back. and she doesn’t know why she’s acting so unreasonable. could minjeong have a point? what if yizhuo…

“oh my gosh! i’m jealous since she’s out and gay—”

minjeong lights up, squealing, “yes!”

“and i’m just a straight girl without any confidence! i’m jealous of her confidence!”

minjeong deflates almost instantly.

yizhuo knows she’s right, so she immediately hatches a plan to talk to you. one comment said communication was vital in preserving this friendship, so yizhuo jumped into action. she knew you had your shifts at night and yizhuo could catch you off-guard right after. your work usually ended late and yizhuo always dozed off on the couch waiting for you. recently that routine has been broken, of course, but that’s when you’re most susceptible to vulnerability. yizhuo needed space to be honest and truthful.

thus, she waits patiently in the living room. yizhuo’s not really sure how long your shift lasts but she normally hears your keys jingle at midnight, so maybe then?

she waits an hour. then another. and then another. she spends the time scrolling on instagram, a frown forming on her face when yunjin appears on her feed.

then, finally, she hears the door creaking. jumping up from her lying position, yizhuo sits upright, focused.

“oh,” is your first word to her. not ‘hi’, or ‘hello’, just an acknowledgment.

yizhuo blinks at the sight of you in your work attire. but she quickly shoves the thought of how attractive you looked into the back of her mind.

“hey,” she winces at her own unfamiliar tone, “can we talk?”

you stare at her in shock before reluctantly nodding.

“yeah, sure.”

she pats the space next to her and clears her throat as you sit down.

“i know i’ve kind of been a jerk lately especially to you and yunjin, but i just want to say that i’m sorry.”

surprise flickers in your eyes, “oh.”

“i talked to minjeong unnie and it really cleared things up. i realised that i was upset because it felt like we weren’t as close as before. knowing that someone like yunjin could come replace me. i was jealous that you had someone while i didn’t. it felt like you were moving on without me, so i got a bit angry. i’m really sorry for the way i treated you and yunjin.”

(their first interaction really went poorly. yizhuo had came home, ready for a long movie night, just to find a random girl (well, not really random) sprawled out on her couch.

“i’m home,” yizhuo calls out, carefully approaching the body. long and lanky is the first thing she notices. and the bright red hair. yizhuo dyed her hair red before, it stained her pillowcase cover. she wonders if this girl’s pillowcase covers are stained with red dye too.

“hey, how was your day?” you ask, laying beside the girl, “sorry, this is yunjin. we just finished a gym session together with aeri unnie. minjeong unnie knows her.”

no wonder why you were barely dressed. yizhuo scrunches her nose at the sight of yunjin’s arm wrapped around your bare torso. she nods and asks quietly, “why is she here?”

you laugh, “i was bragging about my post-gym lunch and she said she wanted to try.”

yizhuo’s never tried your cooking before. she feels a little out of place now.

“ah, okay,” she replies dryly, not bothering to keep her volume down, “is she going to be here all day?”

yunjin wakes up at the commotion, a little disoriented as she shifts.

“oh, shit. sorry, y/nnie,” yunjin yawns, sitting up, “sorry ning, i accidentally fell asleep.”

“it’s yizhuo. only my friends call me ning,” she spits out. you send her a scalding look that makes her want to retract her words, “whatever. sorry. see you guys later.”

at night, just before you leave for your shift, you reprimand her, saying that she was extremely rude to someone she didn’t even know. yizhuo had tuned out most of your scolding, not wanting to hear you defend yunjin.)

“oh…”

yizhuo swallows harshly, squeezing her eyes shut, “i just need you to know i’m not praying for your downfall or anything. i want the best for you, especially since you feel like my younger sister.”

as soon as she finishes her little speech, she opens her eyes to your flabbergasted expression. eyebrows furrowed with your mouth agape.

“uhm… can you forgive me?”

yizhuo really needs you to forgive her. she doesn’t know what she would do if you decided that this was the breaking point for your friendship. she would respect your decision but still, it wouldn’t be nice. who would want that? and if you decided to end the friendship, what would happen with the apartment? yizhuo really likes being roommates with you. it would suck to have to find another roommate as meticulous as you.

“well— uhm, of course,” you stutter, “i gotta go shower. sorry.”

“oh, okay.”

just as you’re about to get up, yizhuo reaches for your hand, “we’re okay, right?”

she watches your throat bobble before rasping out, “yes. we’re fine.”

wow! yizhuo mentally pats herself on the back.

that was so easy. it felt like a whole weight got lifted off her chest. yizhuo smiles to herself and enters her own room, proud.

(meanwhile, in your own room, you vent to yunjin, bewildered by yizhuo’s obliviousness.

“she said i’m like a sister! her absolute gall! and she said it’s because she’s upset she doesn’t have someone like me! your whole jealousy tactic didn’t do shit!”

“girl, calm down. i didn’t know you liked the dumb ones. who knew she was so stupid?”)

you stare at yizhuo, who’s trying her best not to show any disdain for the way yunjin’s arm was slung over your shoulder. she must either be extremely self-repressed or just stupid. probably both. unless she didn’t actually like you. that thought, you didn’t dare to entertain. the once confident and bold girl had turned into this timid and shy kitten.

“take a shot if you’ve kissed someone in this room before!” aeri reads out the card before gulping down her drink. minjeong and jimin do the same and so do a few others. when yunjin shakes you ever so slightly, you take the initiative to swallow down the burning sensation. yizhuo’s glare narrows before she turns away entirely.

subtly grinning at her act of jealousy, you hum happily. there’s an outcry of people asking who aeri kissed and the attention shifts away. most people in your extended friend group had assumed you and yunjin to be dating. the only people who knew the truth were minjeong and aeri. jimin was kept in the dark since well, truthfully, she couldn’t keep a secret from yizhuo.

“take a shot if you ever kissed someone of the same gender.”

there’s more people drinking this time. you drink yours after a refill and so does yunjin. your eyes nearly bulge out of their sockets when yizhuo drinks as well. wasn’t she straight?

“who did you kiss?!” jimin screeches.

yizhuo wipes her lips, glistening with alcohol, “a friend. it was a dare in high school.”

you listen with rapt attention as aeri eggs on, “was it good? are girls better than guys?”

“well, it was definitely less sloppy,” yizhuo shrugs, giggling. her blush has worsened under the lighting and you can tell she’s at least tipsy now. the redness was currently spreading throughout her cheekbones and neck. you would coo at the adorable sight of her pouting and playing with the soju bottle if she wasn’t the stupidest girl on earth. you noticed how yizhuo drank every time yunjin squeezed your shoulder or you leaned into her touch. was she seriously still so thick?

“take a shot if you ever crushed on someone in this room,” aeri groans, downing her glass again. you drink yours and others follow. it wasn’t unexpected. you were seventy percent sure that most of the guys had crushed on jimin before, at least for a second. or maybe hanbin. he was cute too. that, you could admit.

“aeri… why are all the questions about dating?!” jimin whines, flopping onto the carpeted floor. minjeong winces before exclaiming, “i think she’s drunk now. let’s call it a night, okay?”

you agree. yizhuo looks seconds away from passing out as well and despite your recent gym endeavours, you do not want to carry a twenty four year old woman back home. yunjin taps your side and slyly tilts her head towards yizhuo, who’s leaning against the couch.

“go save your princess, romeo,” she whispers and stands to help minjeong clean up.

after all the bottles had been cleared, you crouched to yizhuo’s eye level, “ning, let’s go. it’s time to go home.”

her eyelids flutter open and she blinks at you wearily, “home?”

you nod, standing to wrap her arm over your shoulder to steady her. finally on her two feet, you bid goodbye to everyone and make your way home, albeit slowly.

every minute or so, yizhuo would jolt and nearly topple over. right as you reach your place, she leans over to the sidewalk drain and gags. you let go instantly and take out your phone to record her. next time she wants to get drunk, you’ll just show her the video. let her reflect.

“yizhuo, hurry up, i wanna shower,” you complain, dragging the hem of her shirt.

“o-okay…!”

“uhm, you have to get up.”

yizhuo nods again, wobbling as she stands. you grip her wrist and pull her into the apartment lobby. her body weighs heavily onto yours in the lift and you huff at the stench of alcohol.

“you smell bad,” you sigh.

“really?” yizhuo giggles, “you don’t like it?” the elevator dings.

she turns around to rest her head on your shoulder.

“i shouldn’t have gotten so drunk…”

“no kidding. c’mon you big baby.”

finally, after much effort, you manage to get yizhuo onto the couch. you’re heaving and panting at the end but at least she’s comfortable.

“please never get this drunk again,” you groan, flopping onto the couch.

yizhuo moans, “not my fault.”

“yeah? who’s fault is it then?”

she flips herself around, facing the ceiling, “y-yours.”

“how is it my fault?”

“you and yunjin…” she slurs out and your heart leaps.

“how is it our fault?”

“you keep touching each other,” yizhuo inhales sharply before mumbling, “i hate it…”

grinning, you pat her back.

“yeah. it’s my fault. sorry baby.”

“hmfph…”

r/relationships posted by

u/throwawaylizard 4 hours ago.

UPDATE: my (22f) gay roommate’s (21f) dating life makes me feel weird. she’s one of my best friends but now i’m wondering if i could be homophobic.

hi guys! so i know some of you all have been asking for an update and here it is. there’s really nothing much that has changed? we’re back to normal, mostly. A doesn’t bring Y around as much anymore which honestly, should make me feel guilty but i don’t. we had a talk and i think it went rather well. i told her i felt like i was left behind and she forgave me for being so shitty.

it feels like this was just a hurdle in our friendship and we’re closer than ever. she’s become really touchy with me and i appreciate that things are back to normal. she’s been initiating talks and hangout sessions which boosts my mood immensely. i’m really happy with the progress we made. we’ve even started cooking together and it feels awesome. Y had tasted her cooking before and i didn’t. so it felt like this hole in my heart had been patched up. our movie nights have become solely ours and everything’s great. she’s the sweetest girl i know and the most caring, so i really do feel happy that i have my best friend and roommate back. our cold war was doing a toll on my mental and physical health but a simple conversation had cleared the air so easily.

sometimes when she brings up Y since she still hangs out with her, i do feel a little upset. she told me they aren’t dating, just good friends. but other than that, we’re cool. thanks for all the comments! i’m glad i’m not homophobic :D

⇧ 178 | ⇩ | 102 comments

u/imissher | 3h

op you can’t be serious…

u/throwawaylizard | 3h

? what’s wrong

u/imissher | 2h

it feels as if you haven’t really solved this ‘homophobia’ issue. just put it off to the side.

u/throwawaylizard | 2h

IM NOT HOMOPHOBIC 😭

u/mingzmingz | 2h

well i’m glad? as long as you guys are happy ig. idk what’s up with gay people

u/throwawaylizard | 2h

thank you! i’m not gay though.

u/japansfinest | 1h

HOLY SHIT NING

u/throwawaylizard | 1h

OMG DONT DOX ME???

u/japansfinest | 1h

GIRL BE SERIOUS RN 😐😐

u/1800hotnfun | 1h

i strive to live as blissfully ignorant as you, op

u/throwawaylizard | 1h

not very sure if this is a compliment.

things had reverted back to normal. yizhuo was happy again and it seemed like everything was fine.

so how did she get here?

yizhuo had simply gone out to get groceries for your dinner together and when she arrived home, hands full of plastic bags, she heard the tail of your conversation over the phone.

“i don’t think she’s picking up my hints, yun,” you say in hushed whispers, “maybe she really is straight. or she just doesn’t like me.”

despite yizhuo’s moral compass, she decides to listen in on your conversation. she’s never heard of you liking someone before, or being so insecure. what girl wouldn’t like you back? and you liked a straight girl too?

she can’t hear yunjin’s reply but you let out an exasperated sigh, “maybe she thinks i’m just being a really good friend. i thought she would have already realised i liked her by now. your whole jealousy plan didn’t work either. i mean, it did but not really.”

yizhuo slowly twists the door knob before loudly announcing, “i’m home!”

she hopes that by now, you would have ended the call so she wouldn’t have to interact with yunjin at all.

“oh,” she catches the anxiety in your voice, “did you get everything?”

“yup. there was a sale on apples, so i got those too,” yizhuo says, a little too cheerfully, but she wants to cover up any nervousness. as she places the bags on the kitchen counter, you stand up to help unpack everything.

while you start to arrange all the groceries, yizhuo thinks about your words. liking someone. a girl. a straight girl who was potentially oblivious to your advances?

yizhuo scrunches her nose.

sounds…

familiar.

“hey, did you get healthier milk? the one with less sugar added.”

as you twirl around to ask, yizhuo’s heart gets caught in her throat.

she was the straight oblivious girl.

“uh— yeah. i got both,” she gestures awkwardly to the pile of bags. you nod and go back to sorting everything out. god, she needs a breather. trudging to the couch, she sighs as the softness envelops her. she couldn’t wrap her head around this— you liked her? potentially? definitely?

yizhuo spends the next few minutes having an existential crisis. she was straight! the straight girl that you liked! and that whole jealousy thing with yunjin! you planned that! she can’t believe it. all her nights were spent debating whether she was homophobic or not and it was all a rouse to get her jealous? well, was she jealous? minjeong had seemed intent on getting her to admit that, which she did. but maybe it was because she was jealous of yunjin.

not for taking up your time.

but for being able to touch you and hold you in ways she can’t.

holy shit. she’s not as straight as she once thought.

and she has a huge crush on her roommate.

how could she let reddit comments be right?!

yizhuo stares blankly at the ceiling. you call out from the kitchen, “do you want white or red wine?”

she stands up from the couch, resolute in her decision now.

no wonder you had looked so offended after she sister zoned you! yizhuo would hate it too if all she was to you was an unnie. she wanted— no, needed to be your everything.

“yizhuo?” you ask again, examining the two bottles of wine.

yizhuo almost sprints into the kitchen. the sight of you with your hair up, the cute lace white apron wrapped around your waist, and your focused expression. it has her drooling. everything was so domestic.

how hasn’t yizhuo noticed this sooner?

“white wine please,” she answers when you’re within arms reach.

“are we drinking the whole bottle?”

she stretches out her arms to engulf your body in hers and reads the label on the wine bottle over your shoulder. taking gratification in the way your body shudders, yizhuo hides a pleased smirk.

“hm, should we?” she whispers hotly beside your ear. you shiver before muttering, “maybe. is tonight a special occasion?”

“i mean, it could be,” yizhuo grins, “you were promoted recently, right?”

tonight was one of your day-offs, and you came back recently, boasting about the extra time off you got from being promoted. of course that was celebrated with a simple get together with friends. but yizhuo didn’t get her own special celebration with you.

“yeah? okay, we’ll drink it all then.”

yizhuo smiles into your hair. she’s never felt happier. knowing that her inner frustrations had been settled finally. you were just trying to get her jealous. a good attempt nonetheless, it worked incredibly well. but now she’s certain of her own feelings.

“you smell nice,” she blurts out.

“i used your shampoo. ran out of mine.”

“mhm. smells good.”

yizhuo spots the hint of satisfaction on your face.

“are you complimenting yourself right now?”

“i have really good taste,” she states.

you roll your eyes playfully before detaching her arms but she just slithers them back into place.

“ning, i have to cook.”

“hold on,” she mumbles, “i think we can celebrate another thing.”

sensing your confusion, she continues brazenly, “we can celebrate our first night as a couple, right?”

“what—”

“i’m sorry for being so oblivious this whole time. i got so pissy because i was jealous. apparently, i’m not straight. or i just like you, i don’t know yet. all i know is that i envision myself by your side,” yizhuo explains, “everytime you mentioned yunjin i got upset and it’s because i thought you guys were dating. that’s why i didn’t like any of the girls you brought home either. i’m sorry for saying you’re like my sister. i like you a lot. not in a straight girl way.”

she hears you gasp and she can’t bring herself to continue without your reaction. yizhuo’s been through so much struggle with coming to terms with her identity and feelings and now she wants to get it all out.

“are you serious?” you ask without facing her. she chuckles at the redness at the tips of your ears.

“yeah. sorry for being a jerk. it was because i like you.”

“ning yizhuo— i… wait, let go of me for a minute. i wanna look at you.”

reluctantly, she does so.

you look so pretty under the kitchen light, yizhuo thinks.

“uhm, where do i even start?” you chuckle awkwardly, “i really thought you were into me when we first met and when you said you were straight… i think my heart died a little! but it’s okay, since you’ve been such a great friend to me. i must admit that yunjin did volunteer to be my plot device to make you jealous. i was hurt when you were being rude, so i’m happy you apologised. i like you too. a lot.”

yizhuo grins, heart beating wildly against her chest.

“can you say that again?”

“i like you a lot, yizhuo. can’t believe you called me a sister though.”

“i said i was sorry!”

r/relationships posted by

u/throwawaylizard 7 hours ago.

LAST UPDATE: my (22f) gay roommate’s (21f) dating life makes me feel weird. she’s one of my best friends but now i’m wondering if i could be homophobic.

hello! i’m glad to announce that this situation has finally been settled with a happy ending. i would like to give you guys a proper explanation and ending for all the help you provided.

first of all, yes, i’m not straight. or maybe i just like A. i haven’t explored that part yet but also, i’m in love with my roommate. i was jealous of all the girls she brought over and i wanted to be the one holding her and making her laugh.

second of all, you guys were right. she was using Y to make me jealous and it worked. so maybe she’s the real mastermind.

and lastly, we’re finally dating. we’ve been taking things slow for now since this is all new to me but A has been incredibly sweet and supportive (as she always is). it’s just a new experience but i’m willing to do anything as long as A is by my side.

thank you all for the help and comments!

it turns out i don’t have any problems with A kissing girls if it’s me she’s kissing.

⇧ 359 | ⇩ | 153 comments

[thewitchywitch]

Palmistry 101

Alrighty y’all so this is the first informational post in my palmistry post series, where I share my personal notes and information I’ve gathered through experience as a semi-professional palmist. The first post, Palmistry 100, is available here if you’d like to read it.

This post will be a bit long, so everything is available under the cut!

Okay so the first thing we’ll cover is which hand to read. Short answer? We absolutely read both hands. We do this to get a more complete and full understanding of someone’s personality. The dominant hand shows the outward personality, actions, and what they’ve done with what they were given, sorta like the sun sign in astrology. The non-dominant hand shows the more inner workings, someone’s inclinations, and more of their way of thinking/reflections, sorta like the moon sign in astrology. Think conscious versus subconscious. So what do we do if someone is ambidextrous? First, I ask them which hand they default to when it comes to writing. Most of the time, they will tell you clearly. On the rare chance that someone says they write with both, check the flexibility of their thumb—the hand with the less flexible thumb is their dominant hand.

That’s cool, now we know to read both hands, now what? How do we study this before going out into the world offering our friends and families readings? Because that’s a lot of pressure. Slow down there tiger, you’ve probably got a long way before doing an in-person reading, especially for someone with a lot of questions. The best way to study palms can be broken down into 2.5 parts.

Number 1, take a print! All you need is some paper and ink. Cover your hand in ink (one at a time of course) and push firmly into the paper. If done correctly, you should be able to clearly see the lines in your hands and even your finger prints and palmar ridges. Here’s an example:

Prints are fantastic for learning, because not only are you able to clearly see the lines and use them as a reference for study, but now you have a print that you can use to compare your hands in the future, because a lot of the lines in your hands will change over time. Having a print allows you to take your time when studying and learning to read palms, much better than asking your curious mom to check her palms and then getting a borage of “What do you see?” and “What does that mean?”

Number 2, pictures! Phone cameras have come a very long way over the years, and most people are able to capture a fairly good image of someone’s palm. The reason this is less preferred than a print is because not only will some of the minor lines and the palmar ridges be basically invisible, but you also won’t be able to measure the fingers against each other (which we’ll get into in a different post). That being said, they’re still a great resource to have, especially if you’re not able to take a print for any variety of valid reasons.

2.5? 2.5 includes pictures of celebrity hands, which can be found accompanying readings from other palmists sometimes, just like is done with celebrity astrology. I would recommend to ignore the other palmist’s reading and just study the palms, especially of the dominant hand, and try to match your findings with the way said celebrity portrays themselves, especially in interviews. For example, Hillary Clinton has a simian line, which in short, makes a lot of sense for her based on her career in politics. Jim Carrey has a long ring finger, sometimes known as the Apollo finger, which is found in a lot of people drawn to being the star of the room, and some people in the public eye like actors and comedians (and I’m not just saying that). You can also find plenty, and I mean plenty, of palm pictures on reddit, specifically r/palmistry, which I will absolutely recommend to beginners as a studying resource once you learn a few things to pinpoint.

So we’ve identified some great ways to get your hands on some other hands, which is fantastic. Learning to read for strangers helps you to build you objectivity when reading—it removes bias from your readings, which sharpens your knowledge on the topic.

In the next post, we’ll begin the discussion on the major lines of the palms, which is where I usually start my readings.

[mrultra100]

Ultra’s Ramblings; The Deal with Glimmet and Glimmora

Are ya ready, kids?

Out of all the Pokemon in Scarlet and Violet that I love, a few do come to mind; Skeledirge, Tinkaton, Lokix, Clodsire, etc. However, there are a couple of these new ‘Mons that I simply obsess over, both being on the same level as such past favorites like Pincurchin. Who are they, you may ask? Well…

That’s right…I’m in love with the funny crystal flower-sponges

Coming in at #969 and #970 respectively on the National Pokedex, Glimmet and Glimmora are some of the most alien-looking of all Pokemon, which is why I love them to smithereens. The main goal of this post is to break down not only their design origins and inspirations, but also why I love them so much, and to the point of the whole line now being some of my favorite Pokemon in the entire franchise.

Imagine if you saw someone with one of these as a pet. Just walking their crystal flower monster down the street for a walk. That’d make one hell of a Sunday morning, I tell ya much

Starting off with in-game lore, both Glimmet and Glimmora are classified as the “Ore Pokemon''. While plenty of Glimmets are able to be found on the surface of Paldea, Area Zero is the only place in the entire region to find wild Glimmora. The main diet of Glimmet and Glimmora are minerals that they get from sticking themselves into the walls of caves. While Glimmet is able to float in place, Glimmora does so by moving, closing, and adjusting its six, glossy petals. Glimmet’s main line of defense is scattering poisonous powder from its petals, while Glimmora is able to fire beams of energy with not only its own petals, but also its glassy, cone-shaped face. Despite how their bodies resemble the Terastal phenomenon, there is currently no leading evidence to suggest that the line has anything to do with it.

Judging by the lore presented here, the Glimet line seems to be going into a role not unlike Carbink. Maybe they’re related to the unknown Pokemon at the very bottom of Area Zero, similar to how Carbink is to Diancie. We’ll just have to wait and see if the inevitable DLC covers that.

(Credit to u/sdrey on Reddit)

Now getting into the meat and potatoes of all of this, Glimmet and Glimmora have alot of inspirations with their design, maybe even more than first thought. As the picture above shows, not only are these Pokemon based on plants like the deadly nightshade and Passiflora caerulea, they’re also based on a toxic mineral known as Chalcanthte (Or simply copper(II) sulfate). Not only does the former explain the flowery shape of these Pokemon, the nightshade does help with the Poison type, as it’s poisonous itself. The relation to copper sulfate that these Pokemon share is how the mineral is not only blue, it’s also very toxic. These blue crystals are absolutely bad to be around, with it even leaving debris that is very dangerous to be around. That alone sounds very similar to the Glimmet line’s signature ability; Toxic Debris. If one of these Pokemon gets hit, they’ll leave out Toxic Spikes, making them threatening lead Pokemon to face in battle (Which is something that Geeta apparently never thought of when using her Glimmora).

Now, we’ve now covered the 2 main things that make Glimmet and Glimmora….well, Glimmet and Glimmora. However, what if I told you that wasn’t the end of it. Have you ever thought that these two weirdos kinda feel like they’d fit in within the deep sea? As it turns out, there’s a very, very good reason for that…

GlimmBob FlowerPants

That’s right! We’re finally at our first-ever sponge Pokemon! And it’s not even the reef sponges that so many people are familiar with. The Glimmet line is based on various deep-sea sponges belonging to the Cladorhizidae family. Unlike their more spongy-looking relatives in surface waters, these sponges take on more alien-looking shapes and lifestyles, with many of them even being active predators! Both the harp sponge and ping-pong sponge, two species that many deep-sea enthusiasts (Such as myself) are very familiar towards, come to mind when discussing this family, and many species even look like strange, ethereal, undersea flowers, just like Glimmet and Glimmora!

The Pokemon’s conical faces even look like they could be from a deep-sea environment, with Area Zero basically being a terrestrial counterpart to that. If I can be frank here, the faces are the biggest reason why I love these two. They just carry that strange, vague, alienness that few other Pokemon have, like the Ultra Beasts. And get this; sponges usually defend themselves with mineralized spicules made up of the same silica that sponges are made of. That drives home the Toxic Debris ability even more!

This is Pathocary. He’s my son, and I’m very proud of him

At the end of the day, Glimmora has taken the spot of my personal favorite Pocket Monster, an honor usually aimed towards the likes of Pincurchin and such. As much as I am a fan of Bogleech, I feel like these guys are to me as Trubbish and Garbodor are to him (And despite him not having to get around to these guys in his reviews yet, he’s said that he’s in love with Glimmora) As much as Geeta’s team sucked, I honestly hope that its inclusion in said team is what kick starts Glimmora’s rise to fame, alongside other Gen 9 ‘Mon like Tinkaton, Clodsire, and Maushold. If there was a spot for a Pokemon this alien to ride alongside the big boys, the funny crystal-flower-sponge things have a decent spot of earning that title.

[azuremist]

I feel like who mock crab day are doing so in a way that (purposefully or accidentally, I can’t tell) misses the point.

As your local anti-capitalist, who will be participating in crab day:

Nobody thinks that tumblr is going to reverse all of the bad changes to its site if we do this. Nobody thinks that this site is without its awful shit (see: flagging queer content as mature). Nobody is seeing a corporation as our friend.

But here are the simple facts:

Tumblr is in debt

Websites can’t function without income

If we can’t buy products from tumblr, we will become the product, in that tumblr will sell more of our data

Tumblr is a product, and if you enjoy a product, you should give its creator(s) money so that the product you enjoy can continue to be provided (that’s generally how capitalism works)

The thing motivating most of the bad changes to tumblr is profit, and gaining new users

I don’t think anyone thinks that we’ll get tumblr completely out of debt, or anything like that. But it IS an attempt to show that tumblr doesn’t have to become like every other social media to be profitable.

It’s a call for tumblr staff to work with its existing userbase, rather than try and find a new userbase with all of these shitty changes. Like, they SEE that the existing userbase is against giving them money. Do you think that’ll make them listen to what we want? No! So they’re trying to get new users; ones who make actually be profitable! Because, even if you don’t like it, we DO live in a world where you have to be profitable if you want to keep a product you like alive.

Staff is at least somewhat aware of the userbase’s current discussions. They know (for example) how goddamn bad we want NSFW content back. They know about Goncharov, they know about the site being called a “hellsite”, they knew about the great Reddit migration. This effort has the possibility to be noticed by the higher-ups, and it obviously isn’t going to fix the site, but it might do something, and that’s more that we can say for just posting to our blogs about how much the new changes suck.

Not to mention that, generally speaking, staying afloat comes first for corporations. There is a very low chance that tumblr staff will address any of the actual issues (like porn bots and queer content being auto-flagged) while it’s still in the red. If it becomes financially stable, then it is possible (not certain, but possible) that staff may be able to put more resources into fixing the stuff we actually care about.

So, like… With crabs being chosen because they’re the cheapest item available (making participating in crab day as non-consequential as getting a candy bar), why not give it a try?

[f10werfae]

Ok imagine this:

Lumberjack!Henry makes sure baby bun is always at her happiest, he secretly checks her phone to make sure she’s not doing anything dodgy (planning to leave him) After all she’s been extremely clingy the past few days, so clingy that Henry thought his woman may as well climb under his skin and live in him. Now don’t get me wrong baby bun is a clingy baby, but she likes her space but now all of a sudden she doesn’t?

While on her phone Henry decides to go to a little red app icon that seems to be new called ‘reddit’ There he sees all the things she’s been reading, the majority being stories of men cheating on their wives as if it’s the norm, and suddenly it’s clicked. Baby bun thinks if she doesn’t hold onto her grumpy lumberjack, he’ll leave her.

“Sugar butt c’mere” Henry crooned with the nod of a head, and in 3 seconds his pretty wife was sat perched on his knee like a kitten, rubbing and nuzzling her face against his neck, “Care to explain this?” He whispered judging her to look at the phone in his hands, displaying the most recent post she had viewed, “My Husband left me for my best friend, I only found out cause she was pregnant, with his baby”

“Why are you reading inappropriate things like this sugar? You’re too baby n’ pretty for stupid things like this, okay? You know I am not leavin you so long as I am here on this Earth, n’ even when i’m a ghost or some shit i’ll follow you about like a mad man, and when ya join me we’ll have ghost babies n’ whatever the fuck it is. Ey’ why are ya laughin’”

Henry frowned seeing his bun start to laugh, her cheeks blown up from trying to hold it in so long, “I-I get it old man, I get it, b-but don’t haunt me, I dont like ghosts… Why d-don’t you come back a-as a cat or somethin?”

[catgirlforeskin]

Actually, I want to talk about this more.

I think that people really overpay how bad politically "online" and 4chan and such are. Not because 4chan is good (it is very bigoted), but in my experience while imageboards are very loosely moderated*, and it allows them to spread some graphic shit, they are not interdimensional aliens. Sure, I didn't see photos of bestiality anywhere else, but I saw and see all the same prejudices in "normie" groups, in comments under movie torrents, in news media, I hear them on the streets and from my relatives. And it doesn't just happen, it's like the norm (not so much in official news, thank fuck, but mainstream TV is still guilty).

After Trump all imageboards into more or less interconnected system of fascist propaganda, sure, but the foundation wasn't that different, in my opinion. Society just sucks because of capitalism and due to the fact that most of pre-capitalist heritage is even worse.

Something similar is true for Reddit. It does suck, but also everyone uses it, even worldwide. The fact that it is like that is not because of redditors, but because this is the face of (mostly white American) middle class society.

This may sound too anti-communist of me, but I feel so angry when people say "actually bigotry is just a thing that online loners do, most people are actually nice". No! People are not nice, people are the ones who do all of this bigotry! It is not 4chan that makes people use racial slurs, it is not twitter that brainwashes women into being housewives, it is not Reddit that covers up rapists, it is not TikTok that makes people crave fascist dict6. It is your neighbors, your friends, you! And me, and all of us here. It's not "human nature", but it's our reality. Society is very flawed, and since society is not a deity but only a network of people, all of us are flawed, all of us are monsters even. Attributing every societal ill to "terminally online neckbeards" is just placing all of your crimes on convenient scapegoats.

This is not defense of 4channers or redditors, they suck, but it's so stupid to pretend that they are just not children of your society, not even that different from you

100% agree, yeah, I hate the tendency for people to project societal ills onto an Other so they don’t have to think about their own complicity in it. We see it in Stranger Danger and the creation of The Predator as opposed to the reality of most abuse coming from people you know and have structural power over you (parents, bosses, etc).

We see it all the time in the transmisogynist harassment campaigns on here, where we’ll see trans women get called “literal rapists” for doing cnc play with their girlfriends when we (at least used to) understand that Rape Culture is a thing and it’s omnipresent in society, or trans women promote “literal incest” for calling their girlfriends big sis or whatever when the most popular porn category everywhere for the last decade has been incest crap.

There’s easily a hundred other things I could list but the point is obvious, I mean shit it applies with the law too, there’s so many things that are part of the dominant culture and everyone has a hand in, but punishment is only inflicted on the subaltern

[amaliazeichnerin]

Not separating the art from the artist

July 29, 2024

When the news about the allegations against Neil Gaiman broke at the beginning of July, I was shocked. In this text, I’ll write some thoughts about this. I’ll put links down below, in the footnotes.

I listened to the podcast that broke the news (1), all four episodes. I later read a bit about it on Reddit (2) and listened to an extensive video (YouTube channel Council of Geeks, footnote 3).

Then I read that another woman had come forward, talking about her experiences with Gaiman ten years ago, in another podcast (4). I also read about rumours how questionable behaviour of Gaiman towards young female fans has been a thing for decades.

And he has admitted to some of what one of these women, Scarlett, has said – having a consensual relationship with her.

Well, even if the relationship (and other similar ones) has been completely consensual - which I doubt after listening to Scarlett’s experiences and what the other two women said - there still is a strange power dynamic at play: A wealthy, privileged older man and at least three young, inexperienced women, two of them fans who likely were to some extend starstruck by the attention he gave them. And Scarlett was employed as the nanny of his child.

In my eyes, this kind of power dynamic in a relationship is unethical, especially given all the details in those podcast episodes.

Why am I writing about this here? I have a hard time with „separating the art from the artist“. Some time ago, I have written a blog in German why. (5) I used to be a fan of the Sandman series and the Good Omens series. I also like the Dead Boy Detectives series and I watched and read American Gods.

I think the connection between the Dead Boy Detectives Netflix series and Neil Gaiman is not that strong, because while he has written a part of one episode as far as I heard and has created the characters for the Comic books, he wasn’t that much involved in the creation of the Netflix series. They also changed the two main characters quite a bit, as far as I know, for instance making them older.

When it comes to Good Omes, Gaiman was heavily involved in creating the series. I used to love it. I wrote an alternative universe fanfiction about it, I created some fan artworks and two cosplays. I also bought some fan artwork and hung it on my wall. I also love how Michael Sheen and David Tennant portray the main characters. However, after these news about Gaiman, „Good Omens“ feels … tainted to me. I lost my enthusiasm about the show. I have to admit about season three that I was mainly interested in a happy ending for Aziraphale and Crowley, preferably a romantic one. At this point, I do not much care for the rest of the plot. So far, there haven’t been any news that season three gets cancelled because of this controversy. So we’ll have to wait how that goes on.

But there is more, and here is where it sort of gets a bit more personal. „Good Omens“ inspired an urban fantasy novel I wrote last year and want to publish next year. I even wrote an acknowledgment in the book thanking Neil Gaiman for the inspiration, but I have deleted that now. I have written that acknowledgment also this June in a question to Neil Gaiman here on Tumblr, but I now hope that he never sees or answers it.

As for Sandman, I am not sure anymore if I want to watch the second season which is said to come out some time in 2025.

I have never bought books or comics of Neil Gaiman, except for an e-book of „American Gods“ and a print copy of "Good Omens" which I both bought last year. But I have deleted the e-book some days ago. I used to read some of his books from our local library, back in the early 2000s.

I am going to keep my copy of „Good Omens“, because at least half of it was written by Terry Pratchett. And so far, I haven’t heard about any controversies about that author.

I would like to close this blog with a German article from a SFF website why we shouldn’t put famous popular authors on pedestals: https://www.tor-online.de/magazin/mehr-phantastik/neil-gaiman-und-co-wir-muessen-aufhoeren-menschen-auf-ein-podest-zu-stellen

Addendum August 2, 2024 Two more women have come forward with allegations, in a new podcast episode: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/master-the-allegations-against-neil-gaiman/id1756088562?i=1000663998586

Btw, if after all you are still a Neil Gaiman fan and enjoy his works – you do you. But please do not reblog this to come to his defense, do not comment, do not message me. Just scroll on. I am not going to discuss this any further.

Footnotes: (1) „Master: The Allegations against Neil Gaiman“ by The Slow Newscast Episode 1 of 4: https://open.spotify.com/episode/1NxQdD9F1vb4YxtAPEiI5J

(2) https://www.reddit.com/r/neilgaimanuncovered/

(3) "About those Neil Gaiman allegations (and the outlet that broke the story)" by Council of Geeks: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5xmeEXDFM8I

(4) Podcast „Am I Broken: Survivor Stories“ by Papillon DeBoer Season 4, Episode 2 https://open.spotify.com/episode/47enk8V96GGkJtXEgwpXbs (5) Blog: „Muss man die Kunstschaffenden von ihrer Kunst trennen?“ https://amalia-zeichnerin.net/muss-man-die-kunstschaffenden-von-ihrer-kunst-trennen/

This is also interesting: „Manufacturing consent“ by Annabel Ross https://politicsdancingxyz.substack.com/p/manufacturing-consent

Rollingstone Article: https://www.rollingstone.com/culture/culture-news/neil-gaiman-denies-sexual-assault-allegations-two-women-1235053131/

A round-up with a time line of everything going on with the allegations, reactions and more: https://muccamukk.dreamwidth.org/1678972.html Transcripts of the Tortoise Media podcast as PDFs for free download (TW: graphic descriptions of SA) https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1CuFVjs06gtQcPhhUEeR4GMORY37iMfz3

Addendum August 31, 2024 Two more episodes of "Master: The Allegations against Neil Gaiman" have come out, with more women coming foward with allegations.

Vera from "Council of Geeks" has done a second video on the topic.

[kuijoon]

LEAK WARNING/SPOILER FOR HANABI STORY QUEST

Ok so after getting to read the english tranlation of the story on reddit, here are my assumptions/thoughts of sampos role (note: i didnt read everything through properly since its a pain on phone maybe I’ll come back later):

Ok so basically Sampo helped blackswan with the whole murder case bc he made a deal with Hanabi. if he plays the assistant for blackswan, he gets his mask back. we do not know why he wants it back- maybe it gives him some sort of powers?? is it just a metaphorical kinda thing for him stepping on stage??? idk.

“But, Sampo... why did you suddenly remember to get the mask back after such a long time? This doesn't look like the you I know...”

“Let me guess - the Jarilo-VI catastrophe is coming, right?”

“Occasionally, I, old Sampo, also want to go on stage and make a fool of myself.”

This is sooo weird. First of all Jarilo catastrophe??!!! sigh let them rest for once. Second of all, we always see sampo putting up a show and shit, so for him to go get his special mask in order to prepare for the ‘catastrophe’… it really makes me feel like we’re going back to Belobog later and Sampo will play a major part in the story. It also gives me the vibes of him adopting a sort of more prominent role because he mentions going on stage. Like this is all you do. You’re always on stage. For him to consider this its own special thing HAS to mean something right.

Oh and it makes me feel like he’s kind of returning to his ‘old ways’ (whatever they may be). Not only because the getting his mask back after so long, but also because of the colorful past thing, maybe implying that he took on a background role over time and used to play larger roles in his ‘plays’.

Also this isn’t important but he tells Hanabi to stay away from Belobog and say hi to Giovanni??? I love him 😭

TLDR;

Sampo went to Jarilo-VI in order to prepare the people there for an incoming catastrophe and is now getting himself ready for it. This likely means we’re going back to Belobog and help sampo with stopping the disaster. also his mask probably has some special power

Edit: since this is a memory bubble it could’ve happened before we arrived on Belobog, meaning sampo isn’t retuning to Belobog. makes sense tbh but I low-key fear this means we’ll get his whole reveal in penacony. that would be messed up tbh

Edit 2: however it also says it’s a fresh memory AND mentions an ‘incoming’ catastrophe when the eternal freeze happened like 800 years ago. It could’ve hinted to our arrival, but I doubt that would be referred to as a catastrophe. Also why do sampo and Hanabi know about some catastrophe that hasn’t even happened yet? Is that just like common knowledge???

[ofmermaidstories]

merms i wanna SCREAM now that the shoto fic is finally here!!!!! but i am also sad that it is the last installment of the series :((((

but anyways knowing you it will always be kept alive somehow, and i'm getting sappy and emotional bc it's been Four Years (4!!! what a big number!! that's a whole CHILD) since i started reading your stories and i'm just so grateful that i found you when i did!! a whole treasure trove of stories about the characters i so wholeheartedly adore.

thank you once again for being the amazing writer and person that u are!! i'm a firm believer that one's character really comes out in their writing (being an english major, it's hard to miss) and i can see how that is expressed in yours, with how careful and thoughtful and beautifully you write your stories. i hope you know that you're one of my most favourite writers ever!!!! and i'll probably never forget you in my life!!!! thank you for bringing so much color into my days <3333

four years!! oh my god. that’s like… full-sentences-whole-child old. we need a cake next year for number five. 🥹 idk hansy i’m like, kinda sad—a lot of what kept holding me back from finishing the first chapter was like, the sudden realisation that this was the beginning of the end LMFAOOOO—but i’ve been trying to keep in mind anon who slipped into the inbox and was like, [let’s] be excited before [we] get sad. because it’s true!! we’re at the beginning of the end—but it’s still the beginning!!! 🏞️✨ and if it’s any consolation, realistically it’ll take me like at least a year to finish this fic, lmfao, and i also wanna do my surrender one-shot collection this love (is ours), which is what i think of as the trilogy’s true ending (the epilogue is set a few years after shouto’s fic finishes), so we’re on the ride a little longer. 🥹 you’ll have to put up with me for a while yet.

idkidkdidkdidididkdddkkkdk hansy. earlier this year i kinda went through a bout of like, that preemptive grief where i just kinda came face-to-face with the fact that yeah, for the past four years this has been The Hobby, you know? like. this has been what i do for fun. and that’s a (relatively) long time and a lot of energy to spend on one thing, and it threw me into this period where i felt really isolated!! i felt silly, like, oh mermie it’s just a couple of fanfics, why are they making you sad you silly girl—and i desperately wanted reassurance that like, it was a normal part of an intensive creative process. and quite frankly i couldn’t find it LOL, i would trawl through the AO3 and fanfic sub reddits and like, try and find people who’d finished or were close to finishing long-standing series or whatever, but if i did find a couple of relevant posts they were years old, and mostly just celebratory (“I just finished my 1,000,000,000 word-long series!”). and then that fed into the, oh my god no one else is talking about this, i’ve taken too long to get to this point and now i’ve emotionally stunted myself this is terrible everything is terrible oh my god etc etc LOL. but!!! i mean, sometimes the best thing for those kinda wobbles is to just start regardless, right? get up and stumble on. 💀 PLUS the biggest thing, actually, was that i like actively reminded myself that no matter how daunting or bittersweet it was to reach the end, i wanted the satisfaction of getting us there. getting to the end of the shouto fic is getting to grab hold of that trophy……. and then we’ll get back in the car and do a victory lap with the last two one-shots in this love LOL. 🍾🏆🎊🏁

anywaysss, enough dumping LOL. hansy we have been in this together for four years. 🥹 and part of what’s gotten us this far along is the nice things you always find to say. 🥺 the race ain’t over yet but once we’ve swept up all the confetti and someone’s cleared away the champagne bottles i want you to know that i’ll remember you as apart of it, for as long as that’s a thing for me to hold. 🥹🌷

[sushler]

So, here are my thoughts on the Rammstein two-year hiatus phenomenon. I might be dropping a bombshell here, but this is genuinely my honest opinion: Regarding the credibility of the source, I can't say for sure. Personally, I believe it. They deserve the rest. However, let's put it into context. The news came from a user—by a woman—who, according to rumors, last year followed Paul and Richard to their hotel and waited until they came out. She’s a quite obsessed with the band and has occasionally misled the fans. There are even claims that she's a hardcore Richard stalker, going so far as to publicly reveal Richard's house during her Berlin trip. She also wrote racist things about Paul and unkind remarks about Till.

But I'll emphasize that this is all gossip related to this woman, and I don’t know the accuracy of these accusations. Understandably, some fans remain skeptical of what she claimed. She was the first to make public that Paul mentioned a 2-year break to many fans (which, honestly, wouldn't hurt them).

I’m not saying there should be a tour in 2025, no, there shouldn’t be. And the demanding ones should shut the fuck up. There were Hungarians on Facebook demanding that they come back to Budapest. And other Facebook forums

Now there’s the fact that Rammstein and its members are not young anymore and they fuckin deserve a break. Additionally, Till is keeping up with the times; he is still an enemy of the German media due to last year’s incident, and he really needs to take a rest now. RZK also isn’t doing well; it was clear that during some shows he almost crying because of the pain in his back and legs. (If we consider that in 2022 he was really in bad shape and that he has chronic back pain, if what I read on Reddit and Tumblr is true). He is also 57 years old. Till is over 60, Paul will also be 60 this year, Ollie, Doom, Richard, and Flake are close behind, followed by Schneider and Flake, then Richard and Ollie. The break is understandable; the band just turned 30, which is a great achievement without any member changes. They’ll quiet down a bit, and then we’ll see what happens. In the meantime, we’ll get a concert film or documentary, Ramm4’s single will be released, so while they rest, we’ll still get something as fans.

In summary, the break is justified, and it was long overdue.

Thank you for your attention..

[ghostoffuturespast]

hey ghostie i was gna get specific for the ask game but I wanna know *all* of it now, the acronyms, the full names, all of em! are they for cyberpunk or other fandoms? no matter how much there is to know, i wanna know! talking about an idea helps a lot, i speak from experience! thanks for the mention, ill get on the wip game soon, too! ❤️

WIP Game Here

Thank you for the ask! I appreciate it :) They are all Cyberpunk 2077 things lol. I’ve largely been a lurker in other fandoms until this one, and this is the first one that finally compelled me to make stuff and that I’ve had the bravery to share. Don’t have many snippets at the moment, all of what I have so far is already out there. Since you asked for all of them though, I shall dish and give you a bit of a peak behind the curtain on how all this got started…

(I’m sorry, this got very rambly.)

And def tag me when you do yours! I will come find you and your wips! 🧡

SIG - So It Goes

(The title is based off the radio song from the game that you can listen to on Morro Rock. Never officially released and credited to the fictional band Fingers and the Outlaws in the game. Officially sung by Ryan Kattner, the front singer of the band Man Man.)

SIG is my current V/River conspiracy theory long fic that I’m working on, and the project is coming up on its two year anniversary. It’s also my first fic. I’m hoping to wrap it up this spring so I can move on to other creative endeavors. There are a lot of art projects, fandom and non-fandom related, that I’ve held off on because of this and I miss those hobbies. I also feel like I’ve been missing out a lot in the writing corner of the fandom too because a lot of new writers have popped up on the scene since I started (back when there was still a monopoly on the tag, but that’s a different story) and everyone else seems to be having fun reading everyone else’s fics, except me… Reading’s complicated for me right now. Writing this had a lot of ups and downs, but overall I’ve loved telling this story, learned a lot, and I’m really proud of it!

I think most people get into fic writing for the ships, the romance, the smut, the processing of internalized trauma, a more satisfactory ending, weird niche interests… And don’t get me wrong there’s a lot of appeal with all that, and definitely those aspects in my own work. But this whole thing got started because of conspiracy theories. I fucking love mysteries and puzzles, so after playing the sun ending and then I spotting Mr. Blue Eyes on the balcony during the conclusion of Dream On, I just about lost my damn mind. I went down the rabbit hole, spent hours reading shards and messages in the game, combed reddit theory posts, and started picking up on all the hints and foreshadowing of something larger looming throughout the game.

I initially didn’t have any answers when I made the decision to start this fic (fuck, high probability I still don’t), it was largely me brainstorming and trying to figure out what kind of story I wanted to write. Seeing if I could even piece things together. But in the process of thinking all that through, I came up with this little theory. I thought it was pretty mind blowing at the time (still think it is) but it’s been my little secret since I got here and I’m very anxious to finally share it.

Most people probably would have just written a theory post and been done with it, but I decided to turn mine into a fan fic lol. Which may or not have been a mistake, we’ll see. This is either gonna be game changing or everyone is going to think it’s dumb and I’m gonna be wearing a dunce cap for the next fifty years.

River Ward. The other half of my reason for writing this fic. I actually wasn’t sure if I liked him at first, it took me a while to warm up to him. But the more I got to know him, the more I started to like him. The more he grew on me. He got hotter over time. Plus, I’ve got a fondness for detective characters and unusual coats, so I should’ve seen it coming.

River’s gotten a lot of flak from this fandom. People claim he’s boring. He’s a cop, so acab. Being unemployed and living in a trailer park with your sister, niece, and nephews isn’t a particularly redeeming quality. I don’t agree with most of those statements, but I do agree with the folks who do appreciate his character, that in terms of development, he absolutely got shafted in the game. This fic is also an attempt to rectify that.

For as underdeveloped as his story arc was, there’s a lot of nuance to his character that I think gets glossed over by the game and most people. We didn’t get much, but out of what we did get, it’s been interesting trying to piece a story together that’s in line with what we got. And I did mention earlier that I like puzzles.

I’ve noticed that a lot of folks tend to lean very hard into the cop aspect of his character, but as far as I’m concerned, River Ward doesn’t give a shit about the law. Conducting an off the record investigation, intimidating a confidential informant, illegally obtaining evidence, breaking into a restricted lab, committing arson for your ex so she can pass a medical exam, conducting another investigation after being suspended; those are not the actions of a man who holds the letter of the law above all else. Those are the actions of man who is determined to get to the bottom of things, and protect people, all while navigating a system that is anything but equitable or fair. They are the actions of a man who is willing to go above and beyond for the people he cares about, even to his own detriment. His own safety. For River Ward, it was never about the law, it’s about justice. And pursuing that sometimes involves breaking the rules.

River is also Pomo. Which is something that was only added in subsequent patches, heavily glossed over in the game, and is only disclosed if you choose to actually romance him. But he’s Indigenous. Native American. And yet he still made a conscious decision to join the NCPD. Given the historical participation by law enforcement and government institutions in North America, and around the world, in the cultural erasure and mass genocide of entire nations, tribes, and communities of people. And given the current state of issues regarding law and judicial enforcement on tribal lands, I think River's character is a rather poignant reflection. Of wanting to good, of wanting the world to be better, but being confined in systems that simply won't allow that. There's a billion other little details I could ramble on about, but his character had the capacity to walk a very fine line of complexities which the game never really did justice to.

Diversity and representation in media are important to me, and I want this fic to reflect that. Being bi-racial, I didn’t get very much of it growing up, so if I can provide representation, even in some small capacity, I think it’s better than nothing. And while I don’t know if I’m achieving that, well, shit if I’m not trying.

I wouldn’t say this story was really meant to be original, but rather to fill in the gaps on the story we got and for me to practice writing. Practice telling a story. CP2077 is a violent game set in a violent world. And I somehow managed to start writing a story that accidentally ended up being a love letter to aikido. (Much to my chagrin. It’s everywhere. In everything. I cannot escape it.) Aikido is a martial art that translates “to the way of peace” or “the path of harmony.” Yet again, another study in dichotomies. How can a martial art, an art form designed to inflict violence, be peaceful? Aikido is as much of a martial art as it is a philosophy. We train to practice and learn that philosophy.

One of the major themes I’m exploring in this fic series is the nature of violence. What it is, the forms it takes, how cyclical it is, that it is a relationship - violence requires your participation. So the question ends up being: how do you break cycles of violence when you live in a world where you are beholden to it? V and River are very much two characters that are caught up in cycles of violence. Will they find peace? I don’t know, but maybe they can find out together.

From The Top

(This one isn’t named after a song. I just decided to start from the beginning.)

From The Top is the VP project I started up last spring where I’ve been taking storyboard style photos of all the main missions. Plus whatever else I feel like. I take all of my photos on PS5 in vanilla photomode and randomly started snapping pictures just because. I did landscape photos, shared a few. Got a bit of nice feedback from people who cared to look and then started branching out. I eventually got to the point where I started a new playthrough for the sole purpose of snapping photos.

Taking VP is very different from writing for me. I don’t have to think about. I don’t agonize about making sure every tiny detail is just right, because for the most part I don’t have very much control It’s candid, intuitive, experimental, it’s straight up play. I simply wait for opportunities to present themselves and capture whatever I think looks or feels interesting to me. It’s easy for me to walk away from it if it doesn’t do well when I post. Unlike my writing, there’s no ego attached to it.

I’m getting to the tail end of this project, I still have a couple of the base game missions to get through, but I’d also like to do Phantom Liberty as well. Not sure what my VP career is going to look like after this, might go into soft retirement. But that’s okay.

NR - Night Running

(Named after Night Running by Cage the Elephant)

Is a sleeper wip that’s currently in the notes, brainstorming, and kitchen drawer phase. It’s part 2 of my Nothing Comes Before Night City series. So It Goes is part 1.

It takes a long time for me to mull over and ruminate on ideas, so this document is largely just a repository for notes and thoughts. Jamming the utensils in the drawer until I’m ready to organize them. I have a very broad idea of what I’d like to happen in this fic, key moments I’d like to hit, but there’s still a lot of refinement that needs to happen, and stories this involved require me outlining. I do already have a running set list of songs to draw from though.

Les Preludes

(Named after Les Preludes by Franz Liszt)

Another sleeper wip, also in the brainstorming phase. These are meant to be one-shots or short stories from the Nothing Comes Before Night City series. Moments I mentioned in the series, but can’t fit into the larger story. Character studies and background lore from V, River, Johnny, Jackie, a couple of OCs and whatever else I can think of.

I will probably start casually working on these after I finish SIG and while I’m outlining NR. I’d like the series to go in chronological order. Should be fun. And I think it’ll be good practice for being more concise. Unlike, this response...

If you stuck around for this TedTalk and made it all the way to the end, thank you! 👻

[mrs-gauche]

Ok, I'm pretty sure no one actually cares about this and I'm probably *really* overthinking the plot of a very simple comic here, but hey, wild speculations are fun and since there's still a bit of time left until the final volume of The Missing releases at the end of this month, why not write it down just in case there could actually be more to this (or you all get a reason to laugh at me in about two weeks)! 😂

Because for some reason, I just can't stop thinking about the "true identity" of the mysterious "Venatori assassin" that had been stalking Varric and Harding since volume 1...

(...Assuming the person we see here was actually one and the same throughout all these scenes. 👀) But before I go on, just beware of spoilers for the whole comic obviously, but also some stuff about the DA4 reddit leaks from a few weeks ago under the cut! 😁

So, to reiterate real quick, by the end of volume 3, Varric seemed to think that, whatever happened the moment he was almost killed by a Leopard and then heroically saved by a "Venatori assassin", was somehow instigated by none other than Solas himself. First of all, let me start by saying that there's a good chance that none of this actually matters, the guy was simply a cheap plot device to keep readers guessing and we'll never see them again, there won't be any grand revelation about them nor will they play any significant role whatsoever, given that the poor guy, whoever it was, appears to have basically disintegrated because of the strange time-altering magic in the Arlathan Forest after saving Varric from that Leopard and is therefore presumably.. pretty dead now, I guess. lol

Yet, in any case, the way this mystery person had been presented to us throughout all this, almost made it feel like they were setting this person up for something big or some grand unmasking by the end of this comic? 🤔 At least, that's what I thought until the end of volume 3... Which leads me to believe that there’s still a small chance for some sort of surprise in the final volume despite the unceremonious disintegration. lol (Or that’s just wishful thinking...) I kinda already did this in my post on volume 3, but after giving it some more thought, here are all the potential "identities" I consider possible now: 1) What I have come to realize now and what seems to make the most sense actually - and thank you again @thebookworm0001​ for pointing it out to me 😁 -  that it could've simply been one of Solas' agents who was ordered to keep an eye on them throughout this whole journey and to save them in case they got in any dangerous situations. Which would also explain what happened at the end of volume 1, when Varric and Harding found that deepstalker lying dead in front of Solas' hideout, suggesting that this agent had killed it to prevent it from attacking Varric and Harding, saving their life yet again. lol

This could also fit in with some comments I’ve seen, assuming that this pouch thing that the assassin carried in that scene in volume 3 showed the same “Dread Wolf” symbol that was also seen on that wax seal on Solas’ letter.

Though I still think it would be kinda weird for a spy to openly carry a symbol of identification like that? lol But if that’s the case, might I add that Solas’ agents would therefore quite literally be wearing a badge of Pride. (*ba dum tsss*)

2) The guy was actually a real Venatori assassin, but somehow manipulated by Solas to save Varric. 3) The Venatori was Solas himself in disguise. Now, while that IS the most fun scenario to think about, it still just doesn't make much sense to me tbh, because of basically all the reasons I talked about in this post, so I won't bother to elaborate again. 😂 I'll just say that, again, ever since "the Orlesian Bard", anything is possible, so I can't fully outrule it either, I guess. lol (Though in addition to this, I also don't know why Solas wouldn't just kill that Leopard (or the deepstalker in volume 1 for that matter) with a simple spell or something, instead of jumping in and "sacrificing" himself. lol Actually, now that I think about it, it seems a bit suspect now that he also wouldn't interfere when Varric and Harding were being attacked by that Tevinter mage in volume 2?) 4) Varric was simply wrong. lol Solas wasn't involved in this at all, the Venatori was the real deal and this is all actually part of some grand plan by the Venatori to get Varric and Harding to lead them to Solas/the ancient artifacts like the Crucious Stone. Which is why they saved Varric to ensure they made it out of the Arlathan Forest alive to continue their pursuit and use those ancient artifacts for... something not good. lol With the way Varric and Harding were seemingly lead to follow all those (purposefully laid out?) clues, only to end up at this letter telling Varric not to interfere, makes me actually hope that this was all part of the Venatori's schemes, just because I still don't fully understand what the whole purpose of this was then, if Solas was the one behind all this. (Unless his intention was to simply keep the Inquisition distracted or something.) And looking at the blurb for the final volume again, which seems to have Varric and Harding going back to Minrathous because Solas "has been spotted" there, maybe this will all culminate in the Venatori trying to get the Crucious Stone back from him/Solas trying to stop the Venatori from doing something really stupid with yet another ancient artifact (much like what he did with this one Tevinter mage and the red lyrium idol in Tevinter Nights). 5) The person was someone else entirely, neither associated with the Venatori OR Solas! Which brings us to the last and probably my favorite theory (and actually the main reason I even wanted to talk about this again)... What if this mysterious person... is actually the next protagonist? 😂 Hear me out! This comic was marketed to lead directly into DA4 somehow, right? So this should be taken almost like a little (yet ultimately irrelevant) prologue to the main story, right?

It also seems pretty clear by now that the overall purpose of this whole comic is to introduce us to/highlight the four factions (Grey Wardens/Antivan Crows/Veil Jumpers/Tevinter... something) that are probably going to play an important part in DA4's story in some way, or rather the four factions that are likely going to be options to choose for our next protagonist, if we're looking at how those four factions were already presented in concept art/short stories, but also the 2020 teaser, along with Varric's narration talking about how "It's time for a new hero" and "Someone they'll never see coming".

And with this, I'm also looking at the reddit leaks again from a few weeks ago and how "Rook" will apparently be the name/title of our next protagonist. A name that might suggest a spy background (along with everything we know about the first version of DA4 "Joplin" and the ominous "red book" with a rook on its cover), someone who goes by an alias rather than their actual name to operate, like many of the spies we know from DAI. So... when Varric's talking about "a new hero" and "someone they'll never see coming", wouldn't it be so hilarious to have that one mystery person disguised as a Venatori assassin, turn out to be literally the one spy no one saw coming? 😂 Obviously, I have no idea how they would even be involved in all this.. Like, why would they stalk Varric and Harding and why would they even want to save Varric? But who knows, maybe at the end of this comic this person will pop up again in Minrathous, which will segue directly into the start of DA4 when the protagonist will bump into Varric saying "Oh wow, I don't know who you are but you've done an amazing job at spying on me, would you be interested to work for us?" 😂 "Rook, it is? Oh don't worry, you can keep your silly spy name." Or what if Varric will be the one to assign this name to the next protagonist then when he’s recruiting them? After all, Varric IS still a spymaster, right? lol

What kinda speaks against all this though is, for one, that the Venatori assassin was already shown to be of human or elven like stature, which would therefore already "canonize" the next protagonist to be of a certain race, and while BioWare has used their own canon default Hawke/human Inquisitor for promotional stuff before, I don't know if they would do it like this... Also, I can't see BioWare actually have the next protagonist be introduced in a comic/additional media that most people aren't going to read anyway. lol But still, I think it's a lot of fun to think about. 😁

So that's where I'm at. Again, I'm about 99.9% sure that none of this will actually be addressed or matter at all in the final volume and we'll just be left to forever speculate who the mysterious no name was who saved Varric's life. lol

If anything, thank you mystery person for saving our favorite dwarf (unless it was actually you Solas, in which case, shame on you for even getting Varric in a situation like this in the first place. 😂)

[cuntylouis]

After the finale i’ve seen a lot of posts both here and on twitter and reddit suggesting that we can’t trust anything we saw actually happened, and/or Armand brainwashed Louis and implanted and removed memories, and that Lestat was nothing like he was shown and nothing in this season was real. I really don’t think that’s what’s happening and how we’re meant to interpret the show for various reasons:

1) It would be bad writing. Like it would be textbook bad writing. ‘She woke up and it was all just a dream’ is often mocked and used as an example of what you should never do for a reason. Pulling the rug and saying what you earlier wrote never happened almost never works. It takes away your audience’s emotional investment, removes good scenes, creates incoherence and aimlessness in your narrative and basically renders your story meaningless. With Louis we know he’s an unreliable narrator and we’ve seen how that manifests: he emphasizes things that support the narrative he wants to convey and omits things that challenge that narrative, he wants to protect Claudia and himself, he’s uncomfortable talking about his love for Lestat, he’s a master of hypocrisy and self-deception, and trauma and the passage of time have influenced his memories. But i don’t really get an impression that he’s untrustworthy in that sense that he literally actively lies or his memories are literally false. Lestat’s version of the events will probably be rather different but that doesn’t mean neither of them is ‘wrong’. I believe that most of the events in this season need to be true so that emotional and narrative integrity is maintained. I think this show’s writers are too good to erase their own story for a twist.

2) I know that some fans dislike the decision to make Lestat more blatantly abusive and are hoping that Louis or Armand is trying make him seem worse than he was, but that doesn’t make sense to me when you consider how the abuse is portrayed in the show. You can disagree with Lestat’s characterization but the way domestic abuse itself is depicted is very careful, consistent, accurate and realistic. Lestat’s abusiveness is not some extraneous detail you can remove by cutting a couple of scenes; it’s an inherent part of his character and the whole story from the beginning. I would go as far as saying abuse if one of the most important parts of this story. If you somehow take it out it becomes a completely different relationship and different show. Again we come back to the point where it would mean undermining the whole narrative. I also think that since the writers have been portraying this subject so well they know better than to insinuate that abuse victims are lying or imagining things. The DV scene in 1.05 has been endlessly analyzed and i do think we’re going to revisit it later from a different POV because it’s edited in the way that implies that there’s more to it. But i really don’t think they’re going to pull ‘none of this ever happened!’ twist with that or any other scene depicting abuse. That would be just cheap and offensive. I think we will in later season see things from Lestat’s perspective that make him more sympathetic (for example revelation that he really loved Claudia like in the books is something i’m almost certain we’ll see) but i don’t see them erasing something that has been so central for Lestat’s characterization.

3) Portraying Louis as some kidnapped brainwashed slave for Armand is at odds with his character and the themes of the show and would also, again, be bad writing because passive characters with no agency are boring, and relationships based on pure mind control are boring as well. Louis at times comes across passive because of his depression and exhaustion caused by trauma and abuse but he’s never been without agency. One of the most compelling and realistic parts of the show’s depiction of abuse is that Louis, like many victims, stays in toxic situations and relationships by his own volition and ends up repeating the same patterns. Lestat doesn’t coerce him into anything in the literal sense. Louis chooses to get together with him, to stay with him year after year even though they’re unhappy, and to take him back after his assault. Louis is always the one literally and metaphorically locking them in his coffin. I think whatever Louis and Armand’s relationship is like it’s in some ways similar to his relationship with Lestat. I think if Armand is using his powers on Louis it’s relatively minor rather than total brainwashing and quite possibly he’s even doing it by Louis’ own request. I feel that Louis could leave that Dubai coffin house whenever he wanted and Armand or no one else would physically prevent him. But because of how his own mind works he chooses not to. He and Armand are each other’s prisoners in some way and i think that’s much more interesting than Armand just keeping him under psychic mind control.

[fulgurbugs]

got someone in the mail a day early!

it’s spa day lagoona!

let me tell you, she’s been a lower priority doll for me for a little bit, one of the ones i decided i’d get only if i saw her on sale. then, all over reddit, i was seeing people find her in walmart clearance for 9 dollars- which i thought was going to be my chance. i mean, a playset doll that normally goes for 40 for 9 dollars is insanely good. unfortunately, i checked all the walmarts near my hometown (and the only one that’s close to my school) with no luck finding the fabled 9 dollar lagoona.

however, i was still occasionally checking for her online, and did see her for 20 dollars, which was a good enough deal that i decided to go for it. my walmart is terrible with mh stock so i figured it was my best shot.

here she is free! there’s two reasons i was interested in this lagoona- her makeup (it’s one of my fave lagoona looks) and her hair. i do plan to restyle this lagoonas hair, and the reason i put her on my wishlist in the first place is that i saw some really cute restyles of her online.

obviously, her hair is extremely long. i think the longest on any doll i have, as it goes all the way down to her feet. makes sense though, this is a hair play doll. she comes with lots of hair styling accessories, for her and for you, theoretical small child who’s playing with her.

we’ll ignore that i’m 21 and have short hair. here’s everything she comes with

we have

-one bathrobe

-16 hair clips (8 beads and 8 seashells)

-seahorse comb

-face mask for lagoona

-2 hair chalks

-blue hair elastics

-seashell storage case

-temporary tattoos

-matching set of human and doll sized hair clips

(i’ll actually missing one of the human size hairclips, which makes me think mine may have been a return. i’ll take having a missing piece that i would’ve just put into storage than some child who actually wants the hair items be missing one)

you can fit all the clips in the little seashell case :D

here’s the seahorse comb next to the one from goreganizer draculaura. weirdly, the teeth are much wider. these are also the colors of the hair chalk (the purple one isn’t that blue irl, but it is bluer than the purple case)

i’m tempted to put the temporary tattoos on my hands or something. maybe when i’m done doing dishes after this, i’ll update lol.

this lagoona has a lighter, paler blonde than core lagoona. i know i said in that post that i liked core lagoonas shade of blonde, but i think i like the paler blonde more. putting them next to each other, you can kinda see how yellow core lagoona is (though, it looks fine still with her rainbow theme. spa day lagoona has a more concentrated color palette)

shoe time! theyre actually asymmetrical, which i didn’t notice at first. cool detail!

face card! i really like the shade of lipstick and the pink and blue eyeshadow they went with for her on this one.

.5 shot (of course)

decided to display her with the robe on. it’s cute. anyways, that’s spa day lagoona, and i’ll probably end up restyling her hair tomorrow when i can get my supplies from the studio, so i’ll be sure to post that when i’m done. thanks for reading!

[3rddimension]

Honestly, from how many slip ups C did in the recent Smosh Reddit Stories episode, and S kind of slipping up too, but neither of them correcting themselves, I feel like maybe it could’ve been on purpose? Maybe it sounds crazy, but like you know, people have started to ship C with Spencer, and I wouldn’t be shocked if they know about it. It’s not like they announced their relationship to the whole fandom with those slip ups, but I think they might know that the people who want to catch those hints will catch them, and talk about them. Either that, or they genuinely just got used to saying “our” with all of that stuff, and forgot about it after filming. And either way, I think that pretty much just confirms it for us, at least (if we really needed anymore confirmation). I don’t know if they’ll ever actually announce their relationship, because as S said in Anthony’s interview, he’s a really private person, but I’d still be happy with a slip up every once in a while. I could be wrong though, and Christmas and the new year is coming up very shortly, so we’ll see.

I honestly think they have been mentally removing their own filtering since the start of the year. I mean they obviously need to be thinking a lot before talking since like 2021 and they're pretty good at it too. (Except Courtney did have some slip up here and there but without context people wouldn't notice) So it will probably take awhile for them especially Shayne who's very cautious on what to talk about.