#Come chat with me about this in the comments or my messages; I'd love some other perspectives

[mintharabaenrelore]

Here's something to think on while I'm working on a few bigger posts (I say "a Questioner" because I can't recall which one):

When Orin is forced to become the Slayer, the Bhaal Avatar says: "Hush, child. No more doubts, no more fears, no more Orin. Become murder."

When Minthara is being tortured/"erased" in the Moonrise Towers prison, one of the Questioners says: "She cherished you. But it wasn't enough- you were distracted by your own desires. Bloodlust. Murder. Chaos. And most damning of all, an unexpected weakness- a longing for acceptance, and affection. From a mortal."

If a Questioner is under the impression that Minthara has been successfully erased, she says, "No more anger, no more doubt. She is perfect."

It fascinates me how Minthara sees herself in Orin. ("No matter how perfect the surface imitation, few would see themselves reflected in Orin's madness. In her soul. I did see myself there. A broken version of myself, but recognisable nonetheless. [...] It is only because of you that I did not meet the same fate as Orin. Lost to madness and blood.") Minthara says, "Given what we learned of her mother, I see how similar we truly are. We were both born of trauma, raised by parents who protected us with one hand and tormented us with the other."

Look at those scenes one more time:

"No more doubts, no more fears, no more Orin. Become murder."

"No more anger, no more doubt. She is perfect."

They mirror one another, just as Orin and Minthara do. I believe that's on purpose- and what an interesting detail!

(That's not the only occasion dialogue about them has been similar, by the way.

"A mad dog understands the yank of the leash and the hand of its master, but it cannot be an equal"- Gortash about Orin

"It is fitting that one mad dog should judge another"- Ketheric about Minthara and the Dark Urge)

[twobluejeans]

HEARTBREAK ON TOUR!

charles leclerc x famous!reader

summary: in which the lavender haze has been lifted. or in which america’s it couple splits.

part 9:foreign affairs, series masterlist

faceclaim: madison beer

ally’s radio 📻: PART 9! anyways, stan y/n l/n for clear skin and good grades!✨😌

INSTAGRAM, july 18

liked by carlossainz, landonoriss, and 12,654,234 others

yourinstagram mood :') gonna cry all day lol. thank you for your warmth. thank you for listening n hearing me. i love you.

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ntltcy/n whoever said the second slide is so real

danielricciardo I said what I said

zendaya ma’am is taking up all 10 spots on the 10 ten…that’s my best friend ❤️!!!

channeleclerc16_ she should just stick to acting…

beyonce well deserved! the song brought actual tears to my eyes

 yourinstagram beyonce  screaming crying shaking…thank u, i love u always

leclerc_pascale beautiful girl congrats

 yourinstagram leclerc_pascale  thank u mama

drewstarkey on repeat i fear 

ferarrileclerc i mean ... since the song is about charles that means he got another number one hit! charles congrats baby!

harrystyles A beautiful song from an even more beautiful person. Congratulations, Y/n/n—H.

ypurinstagram thank u sweet angel. miss you!

redlipclassicy/n harrystyles yourinstagram WHAT THE FUCK

JULY 18, 2023

Lola Ransdell Under Fire for Using the N-Word in Resurfaced Tweets

Not a good look.

BY ALLY JULY 17, 2023 11:15 AM

Lola Randell has some explaining to do. The 25-year-old came under fire on Sunday when Twitter users began resurfacing tweets of the model using the N-word in 2020. The receipts included direct messages and Instagram comments, in which Ransdell called her friends the racial slur, as well as tweets from Ransdell claiming that she could use the N-word because she’s “not white.”

In screenshots resurfaced by the Twitter PopHub, Ransdell can be seen calling someone an “ugly” N-word. The screenshots also include a group chat with some of her friends, in which she is called out for using the N-word. In her response, Randell explains that she can use the derogatory term because she’s not white. (Ransdell’s mother is Brazilian, but that still does not excuse her behavior.) “I’m not white tho so that’s awk,” Ransdell responded.

However, the receipts don’t end there. Along with the first screenshots, some users also resurfaced other old tweets, in which Ransdell said that she returned a “different race” after she spent some time tanning in Florida. (She accompanied the tweet with an emoji of a man with a turban.) Another screenshot also shows Ransdell liking a 2020 meme comparing Jay-Z to a Ransdell. One user also claimed to have a video of Ransdell rapping the N-word, though the audio is unclear.

Ransdell allegedly once tweeted, "leaving to Florida white but coming back to NY a different Race." The statement was accompanied by an emoji of a white blonde man and an emoji of a darker-skinned man wearing a turban.

A post from 2019 read, "With @chanteljefferies and that awkward moment when ur at a Chinese restaurant and your waiter isn't Chinese...."

The following year, she allegedly threatened, "Shut up before I smack you back to your own country!"

Screenshots also show the youtuber allegedly liking an Instagram post from 2018 about how only men and women should marry because the Bible says so.

Then there are the women-hating posts.

Ransdell allegedly liked an undated Instagram post showing a photo of Selena Gomez that posed the question, "Would you smack her for $835 BILLION?!" The person whose reply was featured in the meme read, "I'd smack her for a sweet tea from McDonald's."

In 2018, Ransdell allegedly tweeted about transgendered women" being "wicked slutty."

She's also been accused of openly hating on her boyfriend’s former partner, Y/n L/n.

Once a fan of Charles (and even of Charles and Y/n together), Ransdell  seemingly turned on the 26-year-old singer when "Your/Ship/Name" was on the rocks.She allegedly once followed a Y/n L/n  hate account on Instagram and allegedly favorited/liked a tweet from 2022 that showed a picture of Y/n and read, "She collects guys as if they were infinity stones."

How these receipts surfaced is unclear (many of them are private messages between Ransdell and her friends, so someone must have leaked them on the internet), but it’s certain that people aren’t happy with Ransdell using slur, even as a joke. After the tweets resurfaced, many users took to Twitter to call out Ransdell for her offensive behavior, as well as demand accountability and an apology from her and her Formula One boyfriend, Charles Leclerc. 

SEE MORE RELATED POSTS:

• Charles Leclerc finally addresses messy breakup with Singer Y/n L/n.

•Harry Styles just commented on Y/n L/n’s Instagram post for the first time in 7 years.

• Miss Americana and The Heartbreak Prince: Harry Styles and Y/n L/n’s relationship timeline

INSTAGRAM, july 18

liked by f1wh0re, corneliastreety/n, and 546,782 others

y/naflorals CHAR!ES SPEAKING ABOUT MOTHER TODAY IN AN INTERVIEW

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dressy/n no comment.

lewismercedes ur joe king…ur joe. king.

leclerc16charles as a charles fan…idk either i’m sorry

TWITTER, july 18

INSTAGRAM STORIES, july 18

yourinstagram 9m

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TWITTER, july 18

ally’s radio 📻:i don’t like this chapter 😞. also pls know that anything that was mentioned within lola’s article is not something i condone!! pls don’t think i’m a bad person, it’s literally only just for the plot😭!! i got inspo off of hailey biebers old tweets sooo. if u see ur username but u weren’t tagged, it’s bc tumblr wouldn’t let me :( if u asked me to tag u and i didn’t, pls send me a message or inbox me bc it might’ve gotten lost 😭 i try to stay up-to-date but sometimes i miss people so pls lmk!!!

taglist 🦢🪩: @incoherenciass@dakotali@405rry@topaz125@sassyheroneckgiant@hevburn@itsmytimetoodream@ivegotparticulartaste@crowdedimagines @asterianax @haydee5010@scenesofobx@christinabae@magical-spit@dessxoxsworld@myareadsbooks@honethatty12@hopefulinlove@diasnohibng@gentlemonsterjennie1@hummusxx@eugene-emt-roe@taestrwbrry @perjarma @cxcewg@chimchimjiminie16@glow-ish@allywthsr @millyswife@mrsmaybank13@black-swan-blog27 @stargaryenx@lilsiz@ohthemisssery@leclerclvr@slytherinjimin3nthusiast@shessthunderstoms@cool-ultra-nerd@ncentic@playboykenz @canvashearts @tinyhrry @xeliaaaa @ifionlywould @gaviypedrisbride @callsignwindow @dhhdhsiavdhaj@chasing-liberosis@laneyspaulding19@a-daydreamersday@saikikusouswife@motorsp0rt@lifesuckslife@shessthunderstoms@drewsandsebastianswife @sainzluvrr@ietss @agustdlvr @sarahkaliii @sweethoneyblossom1@sticksdoesart @ayoanna @c0wgirlswag @ifionlywould @l1ghtaura @ellesmythe @avada-kedavra-bitch-187

[otherone12]

Hi, I'm obsessed with the way you write your stories and I'd like to ask for a request, it's the first time I've done one but I love your stories. I'd like to ask you for one about basement gee x reader (the plot doesn't matter) but I'd like something smut (of course one where both are of legal age) but I'd like to see gerard as someone who is geeky and is in love (somewhat sickly) with the reader

I'm sorry if it's weird, and also English is not my first language so I'm sorry if the wording of the message is bad.

I’m Awkward, Not Dangerous!

Basement!Gerard Way x Reader

-> Masterlist

Hi!!! Omg, I'm glad you like my fics <3 !!! And also thanks for requesting!! I really loved the idea!! Well, I tried to make his nerdy side very visible, mainly by making him very weird in terms of social relationships and some geek references along in the story. Ngl, I had to write this one like three times, 'cause was never good enought, but I think it's nice now lol. I hope you like it! (If it turned out too different from what you imagined, let me know and I'll try to fix it :) )

(If u have some suggestion, idea, or request, just drop it! )

Summary: It suppoused to be another day, but things turned a different when Gerard invite you to watch a movie in his basement, let's just say he REALLY likes you, and you discovered this in the creepy way possible. (I'm terrible at writing summaries)

- Word Count: 3.000

- Warnings: afab SMUT, awkward gerard.

- Ps: I'll not use y/n…

- Ps2: I'm brazilian, so english is not my first language ... sorry if i wrote something wrong.

___________________________________________

1st Person POV

School sucks, our senior year was supposed to be a little funnier, right? Unfortunately, that's not what's happening, but it's infinitely better when they're with me.

Sometimes we spent entire periods outside the classroom, just chatting about anything and listening to our favorite bands, while we smoke behind the bleachers.

This was another one of those afternoons, where one less math lesson didn't make any difference, and it seemed much more interesting to hear Frank make jokes about someone's clothes. Followed by Mikey update us on the latest gigs in town, or Ray making insightful comments on every topic that comes up.

Sometimes, Gerard talks about the backstories of the heroes he created, so we spend hours thinking of outfits and some scenes that might be cool. Is really cute when he gets all excited talking about things he likes.

After a while, the conversation starts to wind down. Frank is scrolling through his phone, muttering something about needing to practice with his band. Mikey checks the time and mentions that his work shift was going to start. Ray says he has to study for some test he has tomorrow, and heads out first, leaving the rest of us behind with a lazy wave.

- Guess that’s it for me, folks. - Frank said, getting up - if I miss one more essay they'll look for another guitarist.

- I think I'll go too - Mikey stubbed out his cigarette and picked up his backpack, making his way to the video store - but I'll probably be home by 9pm… maybe later if Pete and I go drink something after the shift.

Within minutes, it’s just Gerard and I.

He’s sitting a little awkwardly, tucking strands of hair behind the ear, like he’s waiting for the right moment to say something. It’s sweet how shy he gets sometimes, especially when the others aren’t around to drown out the silence. There’s always something a little different about him when it’s just the two of us.

- So, uh…- He cleared his throat. - Do you... wanna come over? I was gonna watch that new horror movie I told you about. The really bad one with the cheesy practical effects…

His voice was low, and he blinked with his beautiful hazel eyes, pleading. After a few seconds, he gave a shy, hopeful smile.

- I mean, only if you’re not busy or anything…

- Nope, I’m totally free. - I smiled at him, excited to watch the movie with him.

The walk to Gerard’s house is filled with easy conversation. He talks about the movie, rambling about the director’s other films, his company was really nice, actually. Every now and then, my shoulder brushes his, and I swear I catch him glancing at me from the corner of his eye. Wasn’t something bothering, but it’s kinda… weird?

When we finally reach Gerard’s place, he fumbled with his keys at the front door, a little too eager.

- My parents aren’t home… - He said, being a bit surprised - Well, I'm gonna fix the things in my room in the basement… Can you wait a minute?

he scratched the back of his neck, apparently nervous, so I let out a smile in an attempt to comfort him. I understand that since we hadn't arranged it beforehand, he didn't have time to prepare or anything.

- Sure!

- I’ll be right back - Gerard rushed to his basement, and I stayed in the living room of Way’s house.

Looking around, I saw family pictures, some paints on the wall, books, a pretty carpet… It was a pretty house. Wasn’t long before Gerard returned from the basement, nodding and beckoning me to follow.

Wasn’t the first time I went to his basement, but I was never alone with him.

It’s cluttered but cozy, just like the other times: comics spread out on his bed, action figures on shelves, and posters of old movies plastered along the walls. His bed was covered with a batman sheet, and he gestures toward it with an awkward smile.

- Make yourself comfortable. - Again, he rushed away, going to the kitchen - I’ll grab drinks.

I sat down, noticing the little details scattered everywhere. He even has a stack of DVDs, just waiting to be watched. It’s easy to see how much of himself Gerard has poured into this space, and somehow, that makes it feel intimate.

He came back with two cans of soda, handing me one as he flops onto the bed beside me. His knee bumped into mine, but he didn't pull away. Instead, he pressed play on the remote, the movie starting with a dramatic, over-the-top horror intro.

As the lights dim and the movie flickers to life, I notice Gerard sneaking a glance my way. It’s quick, like he’s checking to see if I’m still there or if I’ve evaporated into thin air. He shifted in his seat, awkwardly pulling his hoodie sleeves over his hands.

I tried to focus on the screen, I really do, but out of nowhere, his hand brushes against mine. It was kind of an accidental touch, my heart raced, but I didn’t move it.

After some seconds of just the sound of the movie filling the room, Gerard cleaned his throat and took a deep breath, like he was trying to take courage to say something.

- Y’know… - I turned my attention to him - I’ve been wanting to do this for a while.

I Glance at him, and he’s looking at the TV like he’s afraid it might explode if he makes eye contact with me.

- Do what? - I asked, trying not to sound as jittery as I feel.

- Uh... spend time with just you. - He scratched the back of his neck, and his gaze moved from the tv to me.

I didn’t know what to say, so I defaulted to my nervous habit, fiddling with my bracelet, twisting it around my wrist like it holds the answer to every awkward situation. Gerard noticed, of course, because apparently, he has a PhD in Me Studies.

- You don’t have to be nervous, sugar.

“Sugar”? He never called me that way before. But he kept talking, like it wasn’t a big deal. I did not protest, I actually kinda liked it.

- You always mess with that bracelet when you’re nervous. - He said like it was something obvious - It’s... kinda cute.

I shifted slightly, trying to get comfortable, only to realize: Gerard isn’t watching the movie. He’s watching me. And he’s terrible at being subtle about it.

Before I can process what’s happening, he slips his hand into mine, like a middle-schooler figuring out how to hold hands for the first time. His palm is warm, a little sweaty, okay, a lot of sweat, but weirdly... I didn’t mind.

It wasn't as if I didn't like him, maybe I really liked him too, I'd just never thought about it before. Back to the movie, my mind was filled with a million other things to think about, so I couldn't even focus on looking at the screen. My gaze traveled around the room, but something caught my eye: a small, familiar notebook lying half-tucked beneath a pile of DVDs on the coffee table really close to his bed.

The same notebook Gerard always carries with him at school, the one he’s always scribbling in during lunch or between classes. I couldn’t help myself to take advantage of Gerard's distraction, and I flipped it open. 

My eyes went wide and my heart skipped a beat when I saw what was inside that notebook. Pages and pages of photos of me. Some printed, others cut out from old Polaroids. All of them are candid shots, taken without my knowledge. There’s one of me smoking behind the bleachers, another of me laughing with Mikey, and several from school, walking to class, sitting at my desk, leaning against my locker.

Each one is accompanied by small, scribbled notes in Gerard’s messy handwriting. Things like “She looks so pretty here.” or “I wish this was just the two of us.” … Along with sketches of portraits, pieces of comics that meant something in our “relationship”. There were sketches of us together, drawn in different comic styles, one of us as Jedi, another as superheroes, and even one as cartoon vampires, all accompanied by little speech bubbles with inside jokes.

Every page flipped, I got even more shocked about the large amount of content he has there. Things from years ago, and the last things were from the last days.

- Hey... What are you looking at? - His voice is soft, but there’s an edge to it now, a note of panic creeping in.

I glance up to see Gerard frozen in place, his hazel eyes wide with fear as he notices the notebook in your hands.

- W-where did you…? - He mumbled, turning bright red, embarrassed - Uh... I can explain! Wait, no, I mean- don't freak out... It’s... okay, it looks bad, but it’s not that bad.

He let go from my hand and got up, rubbing his hands together nervously. he began to pant, and his countenance indicated that he was desperately looking for an excuse.

- Well, it is exactly what it looks like! - I yell, turning back to the notebook, still shocked, analyzing every page.

He turned around, rubbing one of his hands over his face in a messy motion. Before long, he began to walk around the room in circles, while his shaky voice continued to speak.

- Oh God, I’m gonna die. Yep. This is how I die. - he murmured to himself, before facing me again - Just bury me under these comics.

Before i could say anything, he blurts:

- Okay, look… it’s not like I’m a total creep, okay? I-I just... thought you looked cool... like, really cool, and, um - The words rushed out of his mouth, as if he had stopped thinking and was just throwing anything to ease the situation -… okay, I might have taken some pictures without asking… b-but it’s not like ‘weird’ weird! It’s... more... uh... admiration?

I couldn't hide my look of confusion. At the same time as I wanted to get out of there, I didn't want to. It was obviously strange, but at the same time it was adorable the way he noticed me. The things he wrote in that notebook said so much more than I could have imagined he felt. Not giving me time to think about what to say, he kept going.

- I thought, y'know, maybe if I... cataloged- no, wait, bad word… uh, recorded...? - He groans - I swear I sound less creepy in my head.

- Look, I was gonna tell you... - He insists, fidgeting with the hem of his hoodie. - I mean, not like this, obviously. 

He catched my confused expression and groans again.

-Ugh, you probably think I’m a total loser now.

The more he spoke, the less frightening the situation became and the cuter he seemed to me. So I stood up, in a failed attempt to calm him down, but the result was the complete opposite.

- Wait! Please don’t go. I-I know this is... a lot. But I promise I’m not some psycho. - He pauses, then adds, - Like, I’m awkward, not dangerous! 

I don't know where that feeling came from. Maybe it's always been there. I wanted to hug him, kiss him and tell him that it was fine, that I knew he wasn’t a psycho. 

 - Okay, okay! I know I’m weird, but... don’t leave me hanging here. Please. I really... like you. - the statement caught me off guard. it's not as if it wasn't obvious, but I wasn't prepared.  -  Like, more than I ever thought possible.

The way he looks at me, a perfect mix of nervous wreck and hopeful puppy is strangely endearing. Something about his awkward honesty makes it impossible to walk away. So I finally react, letting a grin escape from the corner of my lip. 

- You’re such a dork, Gee. - I chuckled, and his eyes opened wide.

- W-wait, does that mean…? - A confused happiness made Gerard freeze and look directly at me. 

-Yeah. - I approached him, smiling and rolling my eyes - I think I like you too, you idiot.

-Oh my God… - his hazel eyes glowed and a huge smile formed in his pink lips - this is like one of those rom-coms where the nerd actually wins?!

I shook my head, laughing at his words. He’s still red-faced and fumbling, but it’s clear now: he’s just a lovable, geeky mess who adores me in his own awkward way.

- No pressure or anything, but, uh... If we were in a romance movie, this would be the part where the two leads kiss.

I chuckled and my lips reached his. The warm sensation filled my body, the kiss was sloppy and desperate, felt like something he was holding for too long, something he couldn’t deal with anymore. His hands held my waist, and I wrapped my arms around his neck. He let out a soft moan and pulled back only to whisper:

- This feels like... you know... that scene in Return of the Jedi when-

- Gerard, - I interrupted, laughing. - Less Star Wars and more kissing, please.

- Right, yeah, sorry. - He turned bright red.

Gerard catched my lips again, deeper this time, with a bit more confidence. His hand slid to my waist, thumb brushing lazy circles against my skin, and his tongue explored my mouth, while he laid me down on his bed. His lips trailing down to my neck, scattering kisses that made my whole body buzz.

-You smell amazing. Like... that forest level in that one game. You know, the one where…

He trailed off, realizing how silly it sounded, but the look on his face was too earnest to be embarrassed.

- You are such a dork. - I laughed again, running my fingers through his messy hair. 

- Yeah, but I’m your dork, - he murmured, nuzzling into the crook of my neck, planting soft kisses along my collarbone.

His touch was gentle but hungry, as if each kiss, each brush of his fingers, was an apology for all the moments he’d spent longing for this. 

When he slid his hands under my shirt, he paused, looking at me with wide, nervous eyes. 

- Is this... okay? - he asked, shyly. The insecurity in his tone of voice was adorable, no more so than the sparkle in his eyes as he saw me give him a nod, lifting my arms so he could pull the shirt over my head. His gaze lingered on me, admiration glowing in his eyes. - Wow... You’re so -

- Gerard.-  I touched his face, guiding him back down for another kiss. - You’re doing fine.

He smiled, clearly relieved, and kissed me again, this time more eagerly. His hands, still trembling slightly, found their way to the button of my jeans. He fumbled for a moment, biting his lip in concentration. 

Once my jeans were off, he took a moment to just look at me, his hands resting on my hips as if grounding himself. 

- I don’t want to mess this up -  he whispered. 

- You’re not messing anything up, Gee..- i calmed him, brushing a thumb over his flushed cheek - Just... keep going

That was all the encouragement he needed. He kissed me again, his hands moving with a little more certainty now, sliding beneath my bra to touch bare skin. I gasped, arching into his touch, and he let out a shaky breath, somewhere between a moan and a laugh.

When he finally got out of his clothes, struggling with his belt in the process,

 -  Stupid thing… -  he muttered  flustered and I couldn't stop smiling. 

He was trying so hard, and there was something endearing about how eager yet unsure he was.

He kissed me again, slower this time, savoring the moment as his hands trailed down to my thighs, spreading them gently. His boxers were the last to go, and when I felt him against me, the heat between us became impossible to ignore.

- I’ve dreamed about this, - Gerard admitted breathlessly, kissing the side of my neck. - About you... For so long.

I felt my body react to him instinctively, desire building with every brush of his skin against mine. When he paused, hovering just at the edge, his eyes searched mine one last time.

- Is this okay? -  he whispered, his voice low and full of both need and vulnerability.

- Yes,-  I breathed, wrapping my arms around his neck, pulling him closer. - I want this, Gee.

And then, with a slow, careful thrust, his cock was inside me. I gasped, gripping his hair as my body adjusted to the sensation. The burn was sweet and overwhelming.

He started moving, hesitant at first, like he was still learning how to sync with me. But every time I moaned his name, he seemed to gain a little more confidence, his rhythm becoming more certain, more desperate.

The heat between us grew, the room filled with soft gasps and whispered encouragement. His hands roamed my body, one settling on my waist, the other cradling my face as if I were something precious. As deeper he was coming I felt the tension coil in my stomach, tighter and tighter, until I was teetering right on the edge. 

- I’m close…

- Do it, sugar, - he panted, his voice thick with need. - Cum for me.

With a final thrust, the pleasure crashed over me like a wave. I clenched around him, clinging to him, nails digging into his back as I moaned his name, lost in the intensity of it.

Gerard groaned, his movements faltering as he reached his own release. The warmth of the ropes of his cum filling me up pushed me deeper into my own bliss, and we stayed like that, tangled together, catching our breath.

He pressed a lazy kiss to my shoulder, his body still trembling slightly. 

- Wow… -  he whispered, sounding both dazed and amazed. - That was... better than any dream I’ve ever had.

I laughed softly, brushing damp hair from his forehead. 

- Yeah. Way better.

___________________________________________

~ sooo, that's it! Let me know if you liked! :)

[balkanradfem]

So, in the light of sharing lesbian experiences, I thought I'd try sharing a story that makes me wary of dating; it ends in hubris, so be warned. It might make it more clear why I'm not trying to date the hot woman in my building! Click read more for a long sad lesbian story.

Years ago, I had a crush on a woman I met on tumblr. I started talking to her, and I told her honestly that I like her, and asked her if she was into women. She said yes! We started chatting and communicating daily, and after a bit we switched over to sending emails, so we could write long stories to each other. She was incredibly smart, talented, creative, she was a good storyteller, she knew so much about plants and animals, she had a garden, a dog, she lived in a country close to mine, so I could logically, at one point, sit on a train and meet her.

After we talked excitedly for a while, she told me she has a crush on me too. I was so happy. The unreachable scenario, your crush likes you back. I was living it, I was beside myself. I was dreaming of being in a relationship with her and how that would look like, and she was sending me flirty little messages in the emails. We kept talking, and slightly flirting with each other in our emails, and this went on for months. She would tell me about her life, experiences, past relationships, her art and books she wrote. I was into it all, I read anything she wrote or drew, I offered support whenever she was having a rough time or was bothered by something. I noticed at this point that if I send her my stuff, she doesn't really comment on it, but I felt okay about it, since I already had enough confidence, and wasn't looking to get praise.

During this time, I grew attached to her, I started to really love her. She was sweet and warm and so interesting to me. She knew a lot about stuff I didn't! Her stories and art were admirable and I remember fondly going trough it over and over. I felt a little bit like a child next to her, since she was 10 years older, and smarter, and I kept trying to prove that I too, am an adult, who knows stuff, and is smart. At one point we decided to have a video call, and I was so nervous, I had to go be outside to connect to a wifi, and I kept thinking what if it's awkward, what if we don't know what to say? I decided to tackle that issue by going trough a comic she drew and then using the call to give her tons of feedback, praise and opinions on it, it was a long comic so I was able to talk about it for an hour! She was happy to discuss it and our conversation went lightly and we had fun. I asked her at the end if she had a good time, and she said – yes, we talked about me the entire time! And I hadn't even realized that, until she said it. I think I felt a bit weird about it afterwards, because I do tend to fixate on people I like a lot, but ultimately, you know, we could talk about other things next time.

This is where things started feeling weird. We were talking for about 6 months then, and she was starting to disappear without notice. I wouldn't get my emails answered in a while, and every time I grew anxious and upset, wondering if I did something wrong, or she just got busy. At first I just blamed myself for, you know, being mentally ill, having abandonment issues, worrying too much. But I felt more anxious every time she'd disappear. I would sometimes have to go away too, for a few days, but I would always warn her, and let her know when I'd be away, and when I'd come back. She'd never say anything. So next time she disappeared on me, I asked her to please just let me know when she's leaving, because I easily get worried and miss her, and I do have some issues that make me feel abandoned. She said it was difficult for her to read this, because it makes her look inconsiderate in comparison to me, but she'll of course, say something next time.

She didn't. She kept both disappearing, and being too busy to respond to me. And even though we started talking with the idea of being in a relationship, it was never later discussed or prompted again, she only would add one flirty sentence to each email, so I'd know she's still interested. But now she was disappearing, or ignoring me, or  - just lost interest. I had to slowly realize that we were not, in fact, going to date. Because if she wanted to be in a relationship, surely by now it would be at least discussed or mentioned, and we would want to spend more time together, find out more about each other. And instead she was responding to me less, growing away from me, but still wrote in flirty lines. I was heartbroken, but also found it too difficult to keep pretending that it's going to happen, when it clearly was not, the contrast of what she was saying, and what was happening, was too much for me.

It took me a hot minute to gather my courage, and then I wrote to her that her disappearances are heavy on my mental health, and in order for me to feel normal about it, it's best if we continue as just good friends, and then I won't have to be stressed about why she's not responding to me. And she responded to that one instantly, saying no, we're going to date, in fact we can be dating now, she wants to. But this was instead, even more confusing to me, because why now? We didn't mention it for months, there was no progression towards it, she's organically responding to me less and less, obviously losing interest in talking regularly, she didn't care to warn me of her disappearances to ease my worry and anxiety over losing her, so how could she actually want to date? I sent her an email apologizing, calling myself an idiot, offering to talk her trough my mental process of making this decision, blamed it all on myself and my mental illness, but I couldn't bring myself back in the mindset of just, waiting for her messages, worrying if she was losing interest in me, worrying if I did something wrong and she didn't want to be with me anymore. It was mortifying to me.

I sent her further two emails apologizing and asking if she was okay, now worried if I hurt her with my giving up on romance, if she's maybe upset with me. I said sorry so many times and asked her to please share with me how this has affected her.

She never replied to any. She never talked to me again.

And I didn't understand, for a long time, what had happened there. Nothing made sense to me, in one second she was asking for a relationship, and then in the next moment she was done with me forever. I waited for a reply for such a long time, before I finally accepted that it's not coming, she wasn't... she wasn't interested in even being friends with me.

This was baffling, because I believed we had, in fact, created a good friendship over those 6 months! We learned about each other's lives, interests, pasts, we discussed ideas and art and feminism and capitalism, we told each other stories, we shared our struggles and days, we had our jokes and references, I had an entire library of her works and art in my head at this point and cared for her deeply. I thought we had a bond, and regardless of it being a friendship or a romance, we cared for each other. And I could see we weren't going to progress to a relationship, because she lost interest, or at least the desire to talk to me regularly, and I accepted it, so what was wrong?

Well, it would take me months more of thinking it trough and catching little hints and signs of things that were wrong. During our conversation, since I hoped that we would date, I would regularly try to prop her up and make her feel good about herself; I always wanted her to feel special and amazing, and would often shower her in praise and admiration. I wanted her to know that being with me would mean constant support and appreciation of everything good about her, and she'd get endless warmth and adoration, because this is what I thought relationships should be like, right, and I wanted her to know that's what I wanted for us. This sentiment was not returned to me in kind, but I didn't mind since I could already feel good about myself. She also didn't react if I sent her some of my work, but I would react to her stuff for ages, because I knew how good it is to get feedback on your own creation, anyone would enjoy that. I realized belatedly, that when she'd ask for support, I'd drop everything to reassure her and comfort her, and be mad at her behalf, while when I asked for support, she'd kinda side with me but still talk about herself. But all of these things were so subtle and tiny to me, I couldn't even see them over the excitement of 'my crush likes me back'.

I wondered, if she wasn't into me at all, then why didn't she just turn me down at the start, or somewhere down the line, she could tell me if she wasn't actually interested in dating me. Because if she seriously did want to date me, then she could have tried being friends with me, speak with me more consistently, show me that she was serious and that she does want to talk to me, and then try for a relationship later; it was unlikely that I would say no, I was filled with adoration for her. So she didn't want a relationship, and she didn't want a friendship, so why didn't she just say no to me?

Because she wanted the attention. She liked being adored and having someone pursue her so passionately. And the rest... didn't really matter to her. She would have only talked to me, and flirted with me, to have me believe we were going to date, and the second I didn't believe it, and I wouldn't pursue her in that way.. I was as good as dead to her. I was just a resource in there. She didn't care when I was starting to get hurt by being ignored by her, and she didn't care when I specifically said to her that I was struggling with mental health because she was trying to have me believe in something I saw wasn't true. She still tried to push me back into pursuing her after I gave up because of pain. She wanted the attention even when it was hurting me to give it.

I also tried to put myself in her shoes, and see how I would react in her place. I imagined if I had flirted with someone, and then ignored them for a while, and they then asked to be just friends. I don't think I would have even attempted to persuade them to go back to how they were before, because I would be horrified that I set this person up with false expectations, and then caused them pain by failing them. I would be relieved that they weren't mad at me for leading them on, and would feel awful for leading them on at all. But I also wouldn't even bring myself into this situation; if I had feelings for someone, and then realized they're fading away, but this person was still hopeful, or anxious, I'd have to set them straight and tell them what's up, so they could get a chance to move on. Saying 'no I actually want to date, lets go back to that' when I'm ready to drop them in an instant would be unthinkable to me.

What happened was so much worse than being rejected, or turned down. I was at this point wishing so badly that I had just been rejected. I would have moved on from that in a day or two. I had created a whole bond with a person who could not have cared less, and who dropped me the second I did something they didn't like. If I had known that's the reality of it, I would have never wanted to be friends, or anything else. And I also had no way of knowing, it was a shock when things turned out this badly.

I left that experience with some new conclusions. One was that I'll never try to date someone who makes me feel like a child. When I would feel dumb or childish next to her, she would poke fun at it and tease me about it, when I would genuinely feel not taken seriously, and I hated every minute of it, I hated having to prove that I'm an equal to someone. I also would no longer try to pursue anyone with so much love and attention. I might have been wrong to be so honest and direct with my intentions and my feelings. I set myself up for exploitation. It wasn't the first time I was exploited in that way either, this was just one of the worst ones.

After this experience, for a while I stopped liking people in general. Considering even being friends with someone, filled me with anxiety and exhaustion. I fell depressed and had thoughts about never talking to anyone again. I just didn't want to be put trough this again, and it took time for me to believe that a person can be that selfish and cruel, and hide it for so long, I didn't believe this could happen. I guess it hit me worse than it would have because I have abandonment issues, and this falls heavy on a heart of a person who's been abandoned before.

But anyway, I am feeling better now, and I'm very careful about having any kind of ideas about dating! I'm not interested in anyone who gives even the tiniest hint of mixed signals, or wanting to play with my heart, or promise anything unlikely or far down the line. If someone says they like me I won't even believe them! But, I'm keeping my honesty, and I won't set anyone up for this kind of pain. If I don't intend to be with someone, they'll know right away :).

[w2soneshots]

Private -W2S

words: 0.8k+

warnings: eluding to sex happening.

summary: you and Harry have a private but not secret relationship, then on his birthday you do something that makes the fans go crazy.

Liked by wrotoshaw and 1,108,295 others

y/username: my week🩵 ps. thank you for an incredible night @taliamar🎤⭐️

-comments-

taliamar: thanks for coming babe❤️

faithloisak: STUNNING

y/nfanpage21: harry in the 2nd and 4th pic!🥹🥹

user31479682: you know she's w2s's gf when she plays mario cart

user71542520: who’s jumper is that in the last pic?😉

Three years ago Harry followed me on instagram. He liked a few of my posts, I followed him back, he messaged me, we exchanged numbers, continued to text, then he eventually asked me on a date. 2 months later I was officially his girlfriend. We keep our relationship pretty private but everyone knows we're together. Sometimes I post something and his hands in the shot or I'm wearing one of his jumpers, the fans go crazy. If he's on a side cast and they're talking about their weeks he always refers to me as his girlfriend: "my girlfriend got me this." "my girlfriend said that,"

Today it's Harry's birthday. I organised a meal out with all of our friends for later and last night, after he went to sleep I decorated the apartment with balloons, laid his presents out on the table (which I also decorated) and placed his cake at the back of the fridge. Once I was finished I crawled back into bed.

"Morning." I heard Harry croak from beside me. I turned excitedly towards him. "Morning, birthday boy!" He groaned "how long have you been awake?" I huffed out a laugh "like an hour, or something." Harry chuckled. "I love you so much." He said with his eyes locked on mine. "I love you too. Now come on, I wanna show you what I got you!" I said jumping out of the bed and attempting to pull Harry out with me.

We don't usually go crazy with presents since most things we would just buy anyway. So I decided to book us a 10 day holiday to the Maldives, making sure to organise it with the boys so he had time off. Along with some new golf stuff, a childish hoodie, new balance and a custom dartboard for his office. He seemed very pleased with his presents and was so excited to spend over a week on a hot island with me.

We had some breakfast/lunch and FaceTimed Harry's family before we needed to get ready for dinner. We had a shower then I dried and straightened my hair, put on some makeup and got dressed into a pair of blue jeans, a cute white top and some matching white heels, along with my Dior bag. Harry was dressed and ready hours before I was so sat on the couch until I was finished. I quickly sprayed myself with my favourite perfume, applied some lipgloss then left the bedroom. "I'm ready!" I said with a twirl. Harry laughed "you look amazing." I smiled "and you look handsome." I said with a smile. He blushed. On our way out I quickly grabbed the white box (containing the cake) out of the fridge.

y/username

Liked by taliamar and 902,187 others

y/username: making him take pics of me on his birthday🫣

-comments-

faithlouisak: Omg get in my bed

-> y/username: will do😉

mollymae: 😍❤️

y/nfanpage21: THE CAPTION AHHHH

user29473168: loveee this fit!!!

After I made Harry take pictures of me outside our apartment, we got an uber to the restaurant. We were obviously the first ones there and were quickly taken to a long table that had silver balloons on strings floating in the middle (as per my request). Everyone soon began arriving. First was JJ, then Ethan and Faith, followed by Freezy, Callux, Vik, Simon and Talia, Tobi, Josh and Freya and lastly Theo. Once everyone was seated we ordered our food and began chatting.

y/username just posted a new story!

Since we've been together nether me nor Harry have ever posted each other's face. But I'd took a cute picture of him at dinner so just decided to post it to my story, not before asking Harry if it was alright of course. The fans immediately started going crazy, twitter, insta, TikTok, they were all full of people talking about it. Me and Harry lay comfortably in our bed, laughing while scrolling through twitter and reading the comments of a repost of my story.

"Thank you for today." Harry whispered. I turned my head towards him "you're so welcome, I'm glad you enjoyed it." I replied. "You know what would make this birthday even better?" He said with a raised brow. I chuckled "alright then. If that's what it takes." I shrugged my shoulders at the end. Harry smirked, then grabbed my thigh and brought it over him so I was sat on his lap. "This seriously is the best birthday ever."

[poisonlove]

A macchiato, please | j.o

part 1

I'm finally home, wrapped in the familiar atmosphere only my apartment can provide. Tex, my affectionate German Shepherd, is my sole company at the moment.

"Hello, sweetheart," I whisper gently, bending down to pet his head as his tail wags happily, displaying pure joy.

"I know... you're hungry," I confirm with a resigned sigh, heading to the kitchen. I open a can of dog food and mix it carefully with the kibbles.

"Enjoy your meal!" I add with a shy smile as Tex starts to happily devour his food.

I toss the keys onto the table.

I was so tired that I decided to skip my usual nightly routine and went straight to bed. I fall onto the soft mattress, exhausted from the long day.

As I turn on my phone, the screen greets me with a notification that seems like a dream.

Jennaortega has started following you.

A thrill of excitement rushes through me.

"I can't believe it," I whisper to myself with a small smile, feeling as if I've won the lottery of luck.

Curious to know more about her, I access her profile, smiling at her beautiful close-up picture. Her bright, happy eyes convey an infectious vitality.

"Wow, 40 million followers," I thought incredulously. It was like stepping into a whole new world, filled with enthusiastic followers.

I smile as I see numerous comments filled with love and support for Jenna, carefully observing her latest post: she was inside a car, wearing headphones. An involuntary sigh escapes my lips; her brown eyes seem to gaze at me as if wanting to read my soul. Her slightly parted lips, her perfectly falling bangs... her posture so natural by the window told a story of freedom and carefreeness.

I follow her back.

With shyness and anxiety, I open the chat and look at Jenna Ortega's profile picture. "You can do this... just say hi," I murmur to myself, trying to muster some courage.

Hello, I hope you enjoyed the place I manage to write, my fingers trembling slightly. I send the message, feeling my heart race. I exit the chat, letting the adrenaline rush through my veins.

I wait anxiously, heart in my mouth, hoping for a response.

The minutes seem endless as the chat remains on standby. Then, suddenly, the phone emits a sound, indicating a new incoming message. The lit screen shows the name Jenna Ortega and a short but kind message: Hi! Yes, I really enjoyed the place, the atmosphere was truly cozy. Thanks!

A spontaneous smile spreads across my face. Is there something you're particularly passionate about? I write, hoping to make the conversation deeper and more interesting.

Jenna's response comes quickly: Mmmh... why this random question?

I nervously bite my lower lip. I don't know, I'd love to know something about you that the internet can't tell me I write honestly.

I involuntarily smile as Jenna puts a heart on my message. "In that case... I love art and culture, so I enjoy visiting museums and art galleries. And also nature, taking long walks in parks."

I feel an immediate connection, as I also loved long walks, especially with Tex, my loyal four-legged companion.

I decide to share this detail:

I also love taking long walks, especially with Tex, my German Shepherd. He's my faithful adventure companion!

Jenna seems to like the bond with the four-legged friend, and the conversation continues on this topic. We've found a common ground that makes the conversation more authentic and enjoyable.

How about we have a call? she suddenly asks.

I feel a thrill of excitement at the opportunity to hear her voice and get to know each other better.

I reply: I'd love to.

A few seconds later, Jenna's profile picture, a white light, appears.

I swallow and, sighing, I accept the call.

"Hey!" My voice trembles slightly, nervous.

Jenna softly laughs, making my heart beat uncontrollably.

"Hello," Jenna responds.

I can sense the smile she's wearing.

"How are you?" I ask and close my eyes at such a basic question.

"Good... just a bit tired," she comments shyly, letting out a small yawn.

My eyes glance at the alarm clock next to my bed, seeing that it's only 10:08 PM.

"Maybe... we talk tomorrow?" I ask worriedly, biting my lower lip.

My heart hammers rapidly in my chest.

"No... I enjoy talking to you," she confesses, and my cheeks flush.

I sigh in relief knowing she couldn't see my blush and smile widely, almost feeling a pain in my cheeks.

"Oh, well... I can say the same," I reply.

Jenna gently laughs, making me smile even more.

"Do you have any interviews tomorrow? Or have the recordings already started?" I ask curiously.

"Mmmh," Jenna murmurs, thoughtful, "I think we're meeting with Tim," she says almost hesitantly.

"Right, it's not certain they're shooting here," I murmur almost sadly.

"I have no idea... but it's very likely," she admits weakly.

An not uncomfortable silence envelops us.

"And tell me... you said you'd be meeting. Who's with you?" I ask with curiosity, clutching the sheets out of nervousness.

"Oh... let me think," Jenna murmurs, "I believe it's Percy and Emma," she admits.

"Emma?" I ask excitedly. "Enid?" I ask with a smile on my face.

"Yes..." she laughs softly at my enthusiasm.

"Do you know I ship them in Wednesday ?" I say excitedly. "Enid and wdenesday are so close and adorable!" I exclaim happily.

Jenna bursts into laughter.

"Maybe it'll be canon... who knows," she says in a sing-song tone.

"Come to think of it..." she begins. "Maybe one day I could introduce you to the cast," she proposes, and I open my mouth in surprise.

"You're not joking... really?" I ask, and she gently laughs at my excitement.

"Seriously, let's say it's a way to pay you back for the coffee," she murmurs, yawning.

My excitement grows as I talk about my passions, the books I love to read, and the places I like to visit in the city. But then, I notice Jenna murmuring timidly, almost incomprehensibly, not responding.

"Jenna, everything okay?" I ask worriedly, sensing something off in the air.

"Mmmh," Jenna responds even more timidly, as if wanting to hide something.

"Did you see the new movie talk to me?" I ask absentmindedly, trying to change the subject and lighten the mood. "It was strange... I feel sorry for the guy, his face got messed up... but the ending... wow," I murmur absentmindedly, hoping to liven up the conversation.

I notice Jenna getting quieter and quieter, and worry grows inside me. "Am I... boring you?" I ask uncertainly, fearing I've made the conversation dull or tiresome for her.

"No," Jenna barely manages to respond, her voice weak and tired.

"I like your voice... keep going..." she affirms with a yawn, trying to encourage me to talk, but it's evident that fatigue is taking over.

Confused, I stutter in my thoughts, "What was I saying?" My mind is a bit foggy, and the fear of having bored her grows.

Jenna's steady breath makes me realize she has fallen asleep. I smile tenderly, knowing it's been a long day for her. Unfortunately, it's clear that tiredness has taken the lead, and I realize it's best to let her rest.

I gaze at the ceiling of my room, smiling.

"Goodnight, Jen," I whisper with a small smile, feeling the breath of the girl on the other end.

[muzzleoleum]

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁ִ ࣪𖤐My Enclosure࣪𖤐ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁ִ

Hello :) For the sake of this blog you can call me Bones or Carrion, or honestly anything that's just what i could come up with. This is my Non-Human blog and there will be more info under the cut :)

As I said this is my non-human blog!! However I will be posting more than just non-human related things. Please don't refer to me as human, and I use he/him pronouns :). I also have a partner!! My DMs are also open if you would like to chat!! (18+ only though for dms thank you :))

My non-human identities are as followed:

࣪𖤐 Lycanthrope

࣪𖤐 Werecreature

࣪𖤐 Wolf

࣪𖤐 Dogkin

࣪𖤐 Irish wolfhound Therian :)

tagging system (in the works)

#rambling inside the enclosure (my personal ramlbling tag)

#bloody fangs (nsfw tag MINORS BLOCK THIS NOW)

#clawing at paper (drawings or other art)

I do not wish to debate any kind of identities whether that is my own or someone else's, my time can be spent worrying on other things and i'd rather not waste my energy on discourse.

I am diagnosed with autism, OCD, c-PTSD, Prolonged psychosis and manic and depressive episodes, and other symptoms like dissociation and derealization that don't fit into a disorder. I am suspected to have schizoaffective by my therapist and psychiatrist, but we have not gone through the diagnostic process. I am also recovered from anorexia, do not interact if you are pro ED or sh, or if you are anti recovery. With all that said, I will talk about my experiences, and I will sometimes need extra clarification or tone tags, I might not always be articulate but I will try my best :)).

I am also physically disabled. I have been disabled my whole life, most of my family is disabled, so any ableism will either be called out or blocked.

Uh more about me, I was doner conceived (egg), and I am very very passionate about doner conceived rights for everyone, and I probably will talk a bit about that. I have a lot of weird genetic and like other shit that i don't really want to get into but that's something about me. I'm very queer, I'm trans, I am taken by my lovely partner <3 I love posting about them and stuff like that. I love to draw, even if i'm not super consistent with it. I love painting as well. I love punk music, and folk music a lot. I go to a lot of local shows in my area, and i love my community. I love cowboys and cowboy culture considering that a whole part of my family are modern day cowboys (ranchers and rodeo cowboys, plus some livestock farming). I'm very into wolf conservation and ecology, as well as studying wolf behavior and social patterns, and pack systems ect. I will probably be going back to the wolf sanctuary I visited last fall but i've been meaning to find one close to where i live where i can volunteer. I also have a lot of strong opinions about a lot of different things.

I will post about my opinion on things, my personal experiences, Mood boards, Cute wolf and other animal photos, and probably other random stuff too.

My DNI is not suuuper strict, Just absolutely no bigotry, No racism, Queerphobia, Islamophobia, Intersexism, anti-semitism, pro israel, ect. I am pro Palestine and I am pro Palestinian resistance and liberation always. Any bigotry or dog whistles will be blocked. I also don't want people coming on here with anything like "humans deserve to die" or "humans are the cause of everything bad so they deserve to cease to exist" Yall that so quickly turns bigoted and I will not stand for that, I will not allow stuff like that that can so quickly become eugenics or other beliefs like that to fester on my page.

Please don't flirt with me even as a joke, or make sexual jokes or comments to me personally, it makes me incredibly uncomfortable.

With that as well, Minors can like and repost things, I do not want any minors messaging me, it makes me uncomfortable, While this blog is not an nsfw blog, I will curse and I will talk about things that are more mature in nature things like my experiences with trauma and mental health, and other things that might not be the most appropriate for a minor to look at in detail, Please keep yourself safe, and don't follow if you are only looking for cute wolf content, because i might post some cute wolf photos but i'm also an individual who talks about my own personal experiences and other shit.

I will block if I feel necessary, it might not be anything personal to you.

Thank you and I hope you enjoy the blog :)

[regal-rosebuds]

Who Is Regal Rosebuds?

ꔫ I am hosting a tea party, I assume that's what you're here for! Allow me to introduce myself:

ꔫ I am Rosie!! I use she/he/they, along with some neos, and identify as a little-leaning flip! You don't have to call me that though, I love love love nicknames! Call me whatever you'd like!!!

ꔫ My tea party has lots of different teas to taste and pastries to try!

ꔫ Sometimes, when I'm big, I write posts educating people on age regression and terms involving it (a masterlist of those posts can be found here! Or I post comforting cg posts. Or even worksheets that I created!

ꔫ Sometimes, when I'm small, I post small things -- things I feel, things I think, things I'm doing! This often comes with a whole lot of stimboard and headcanon reblogs!

ꔫ I've been in the community for quite some time now, while I don't know everything, I feel that I know quite a bit! I love answering questions, please ask them! I've even helped run a few agere discord servers, and I own one right now! More on that in a bit!

ꔫ My likes, dislikes, hobbies, etc. differ a lot between whether I am big or little! However, here are a few things that are consistent:

I love a royal aesthetic! Princesses, princes, knights, gold, castles, etc.

And I love to chat!

ꔫ Some stuff about big me:

I am 18 years old and studying biology in uni!

I'm an avid anime watcher, kdrama watcher, and reader!

I game A LOT.

I think of myself as well-spoken/written, caring, outgoing, detail oriented and as a leader!

ꔫ Some stuff about small me:

My small age is quite variable, but it typically falls around 3!

Some animals I get associated with when small are mouse, bunny and koi fish!

I typically get a bit more soft-spoken/written, sensitive, and needing leadership!

While I'm definitely big on "typical" little stuff like Bluey, coloring, and stuffed animals, I also have a variety of "atypical" interests which are usually just what I am currently into while big but in the lens of someone tiny!

ꔫ Pint-Sized Palace (or PSP) is my age regression discord server! As you may be able to tell, there is a medieval fantasy theme! There is a link on my blog with an invite! Truthfully, right now, it is very small and often times quiet, but I hope to foster a good community that I can be proud of! All of the staff have worked in agere servers before and we'd love to have you.

ꔫ My asks are always open and I encourage you to use them, even if it is just to say hi! This also goes for my reblogs, comments, and messages! I'd love to make some tumblr friends and, more specifically, some agere friends!

ꔫ If you have read this far, thank you very much! I did not anticipate to be so long-winded with this, but that's alright. Anyhow, I'm excited to continue on with my posts and hope that you all may get to know me better as well!

ꔫ P.S. Don't feel obligated at all, but this is my Ko-Fi! I appreciate you!

[amaranthinespirit]

— guidelines and boundaries

a list of guidelines and boundaries for requesting and interacting on my blog!

— nsfw this is a nsfw blog. that being said, i do not necessarily have a massive problem with minors interacting in some cases. I ask that any minors don't interact on the nsfw posts (such as commenting), but i don't see a problem on ones that are sfw. I can't stop them from consuming the media i post, it's up to them and their parents to monitor their media consumption. my content has not reached that necessarily dark point yet, and it might not ever, however it is still 18+ i can write outside of nsfw if anyone requests, or is interested in it, but as of late, it is mostly nsfw content featured on my blog.

— characters assuming you've taken a peek at what's posted on my blog, you'll see that it's primarily simon riley, but i am not opposed to any other call of duty characters! feel free to ask!

— requests and asks are open closed feel free to send a request about any cod character with what you want me to write about! please be as specific as possible because then it helps me understand what you're wanting, and it increases the chances of making it out of the inbox (unless stated creative freedom!) and for those who don't want to send requests and just chat, please do! feel free to ask questions, start conversations, etc. <3

— emoji anons i am not opposed to anyone who wants to become an emoji anon! just send an ask with the emoji, and whenever one gets taken, i'll list it here <3

— for requests: my blog mainly focuses on writing fem readers because that's just what i do best! with more practice, i'm sure i could write it, but as of late, there are other blogs who do it best so i'll leave it to them. i'm open to writing a lot, so if you're unsure about what is okay or not, just request it anyways! as long as it's not listed below as a hard no!

— boundaries 1. there are certain things i will absolutely never write for, which are as listed here: scat, pedophilia, underage, necrophilia, beastiality, zoophilia, ageplay, race play, pet play, incest, rape, etc. (list is subject to additions if i see fit. just because you don't see it on here, doesn't mean i'll write it. feel free to send an ask about it, i'm always okay with clarifying!) 2. if you haven't seen your request or ask, please don't spam! i like to pick and choose which ones to do first depending on my mood, how easy it is, and what ideas i can get from it that feed my motivation. i am also writing for an entire other blog, though not as frequently as this one, i am quite busy! 3. If i don't do a request, it will just be deleted from my inbox! 4. feel free to message me whenever! i'm always open to talk to people, but if it's speed along your request, i ask that you just don't do this! i will get to it whenever i can! if i rejected your request, and you'd like to know, we can always discuss further details and workarounds!

— p!links i am open to receiving them! it's definitely something i'd like to write around, and i am open to receiving any p!links from people. i just ask they come from twitter/x, and that it's nothing extremely graphic/gore!

— reblogging i don't typically reblog because i like to keep my page mostly my writing, but i know some people have a separate blog where they do reblog content. i think that's what i'll do in the future because i see a lot of content that i really like and think about reblogging all the time! and right now, all of my likes and comments show up as my main @amaranthineghost because this blog is under the same account so i think it'd be cool to have a reblog account.

— mutuals i'd love to have cod mutuals! if you want to be mutuals, you can just ask! for other writers, there may be a chance i already follow you 🫶🏻

[dabisearpiercings]

I saw that you asked for some requests so so I have a suggestion!

Perhaps some soft, lovey Dabi headcanons?

Dabi being just a big ol baby when it comes to his lover?

Dabi just being adorable as always?

Thank you 💙

Yess soft Dabi, thank you so much for your request!! My inbox is open so please feel free to leave your guys suggestions in my inbox or just message me!!

Characters/Pairing: Dabi (Touya Todoroki) x GN Reader

Word Count: 633

Warnings: Swearing, little suggestive comment

♡ Ok so I think that it would take Dabi a LONG ass time to get to the point where he is openly affectionate with his partner

♡ But when he does it’s over for you, like there is no escape from his grasp 

♡ Dabi is the type to pretend like he isn't interested in cuddles but in reality he loves your hugs, so much so that he will even pout like a child if you don't cuddle him enough each day

♡ He runs on a schedule too, morning cuddles for at LEAST 30 minutes every morning (often making you late for work)

♡ If you work from home you better believe he's whining and complaining about how you should be in his arms instead of at your "stupid" desk

♡ Nighttime is when he reaches his peak cuddle bug form, clutching onto you like a koala from the moment you or him gets home and he down right refuses to let go

♡ Hell, he'll even follow you into the shower sometimes (not always in that kinda way but occasionally sometimes ;)) or he sits on the sink and chats with you while you shower

♡ Oh and when he's sick he's the absolute worst, basically making sure you don't leave his side by either laying on you with all his weight or fake crying to make you stay

♡ Dabi is also the type to whisper sweet nothings into your ear when he thinks you're asleep (key word: thinks)

♡ Whispers of "You'll never know how much you truly mean to me babe.." and "I'd never tell you this while you're awake but one day I'm gonna marry you and we can run away from this dammed city!" will sound in your head while you fall asleep

♡ All around he's secretly a big baby and please just give in and love on him-

[imagineitdearies]

Hi dear, I hope you're doing great x

I don't think I'll ever find the right words to express how i feel about PS. I left a comment on the last chapter trying to explain but it'd need 100 pages so I'll leave it like that for now. I just wanted to say that Tyrus x Astarion is my favorite Astarion x OC/Tav/Durge in the whole fandom. I tried to get into many different variations of Astarion x Tav by other artists and authors but none of them felt "right" like yours. Tyrus truly is Astarion's soulmate, be it personality - wise, phisically, spiritually, emotionally. I'm so in love with him it hurts. You really had the fundamentals of Astarion's psychology and needs up your sleeve. And I'm just like Astarion, I have a weakness for sweet turned cruel because love and circumstances and smart characters and my addiction to Tyrus is currently dire. I can't stop re - reading PS and devour any extra content you put out.

Also I especiallly wanted to thank you for portraying SA trauma with such immense respect and maturity since many people have no idea how to do it correctly or worse, they treat it like their personal kink fodder.

I know you're dedicating your time to other projects now and you're already writing Astarion's POV and the drabbles but I was wondering if we'll ever get glimpses of their post - Cazador life? I'd love to know how they'd deal with their past and what they'd do with their regained autonomy and freedom to be individuals again.

Ps: not sure whether this should get asked on ko - fi or tumblr so I did both ahahah. Part of me wishes you could write a sequel, I'm not going to lie

Either way thank you for everything, I'm hugging you

Hi anon 🥰

Thanks so much for this message and for leaving a comment! Thanks to everyone who commented on ch40 btw, I’ve struggled to start responding to them in part because I wanted to have a general edit of PS done first (alas, with moving a decent distance, my job getting busy, and a bit of burnout, I’ve only finished part I), but also because I don’t want it to end really either, even if I know trying to write a sequel wouldn’t be a successful venture for me. Which is why I plan to continue writing “a flawed eternity” one-shots for quite some time to come! My goal of my own accord is to post a drabble at least once a month, though we’ve surpassed that thanks to a couple wonderful ko-fi supporters 🩵 So yes, plenty of post-PS glimpses to come! If you haven’t read them yet check out my pinned post, two of them do feature post-PS times 🥰

I’m so glad my portrayal of trauma and SA resonated and felt respectful for you. As for everything you said about Tyrus…well, it probably comes as no surprise to you all that I love him to death too, and had created him with the express intent to give Astarion a perfect pairing counterpart I didn’t find in the game, personally. It’s so heartwarming that many of you love him just as much too, now—this precious drow lad lives on in our hearts (and the occasional drabble, haha) 🩵🩵

Seriously, I can’t believe it’s been less than two months since PS concluded, I’m definitely not over it still and love chatting with you all about it 🥰 so thanks again for this ask anon, a big hug to you back!!

[vminjackbaddie]

Feeling Lucky

authors note: eye...haven't written a one shot in such a long time but his recent activity on ig has got me in shambles and I'd like the chance to try again. now forgive me because I've always written in first person but you can still pretend. also im super rusty so im sorry if this comes out cheesy lol I am not an expert for sure! lastly, please don't repost or claim as your own. I appreciate y'all pairing: female reader & jackson wang | 1st person word count: 3.4k+ summary: it's been a lot of trial and error: using dating apps in hopes you find a serious relationship and for the third time, you find yourself disappointed with someone, feeling cursed and very unlucky. to help get your mind off of things, you go visit your best friend at the bar with 0 intentions except to enjoy yourself until jackson walks in with his own group of friends. he's eyeing you, you're eyeing him but will either one of you make a move? or will you let your "cursed" theory ruin any chance with him? genre: mature | strangers to lovers au | angst | one shot | kinda soft | fluff warnings: 21+ ONLY! some cursing, making out, small mentions of heartbreak

“…and that’s exactly why I believe dogs are far superior to cats…”

He kept rambling, spewing nonsense. Is this really my life right now? How am I sitting here, listening to this man go on and on about why dogs are better than cats? Is this supposed to be life-changing information? Definitely not! And just for the record, cats are just as good—if not better.

To make matters worse, I wish I could say this was my first bad date in ages, but that would be a lie. A month ago, I signed up for a dating app, and while things started off strong, the past two weeks have led me to men with halitosis, nonstop misogynistic comments, and now this guy: a man who thinks his monologue is more interesting than asking about me.

Without hesitation, I pulled out my phone and decided to use the old bathroom excuse.

“Excuse me—sorry. Just give me a minute. I’ll be right back,” I said, trying not to trip over my heels as I pushed my chair back, ready to make my escape.

“Take your time! When you get back, we can talk about the ghost in my parents’ basement!” he shouted as I walked away.

I raised an eyebrow, knowing it was now or never. Ghosting isn’t my usual move, but it felt like my only option. Luckily, there was an exit door next to the women’s restroom, and I made a beeline for it. I attempted to call my best friend to fill her in on the disaster, but I reached her voicemail, followed by a quick text:

[Hey, I’m working. You okay?]

Ugh. I completely forgot she was on a shift at Oasis, a local bar. But that might not be a bad idea. I could definitely use some company and a distraction. I hopped into my car and rushed to get inside before he realized I wasn’t coming back, quickly texting her:

[Hiiii~ nvm! I’m coming by. See you soon!]

The message was brief, and as I sat at the first red light, I surprisingly didn’t feel guilty. Isn’t that awful? But honestly, while I felt bad about the first two dates, this third one confirmed that maybe my days with dating apps were over. I felt cursed—searching for real love for so long only to have every potential match turn sour as soon as we met. So tonight (and perhaps for the rest of my life), I decided to focus on enjoying myself.

Oasis wasn’t far. Within five minutes, I was in line to get in. While I waited, I noticed the coffee shop guy had bombarded me with at least eight messages, calling me every name in the book for bailing.

“Wow,” I muttered, scrolling through his barrage of insults.

“Looks like you dodged a bullet,” the bouncer said as I finally reached him.

“What? Oh yeah, he’s definitely a piece of work,” I replied, blocking his number while handing over my ID.

“You came to the right place.” He nodded as he returned my ID. While he recognized me from previous visits, I wasn’t in the mood to chat with another guy about my problems. I simply made my way to the bar.

“Danielle!” I called, spotting my best friend as I slid onto the first empty barstool. The bar wasn’t too crowded, but the dance floor was alive, and it felt great to soak in the energy after those awful messages.

“Another bad date?” she asked, handing me my favorite drink.

“Oh, it was so bad, Danielle! I just don’t know what’s wrong with me!”

“I don’t think it’s you. Sometimes men just suck, and dating app guys are a whole different level of awful,” she chuckled.

“I’m starting to think it might be time to give up.”

She sighed. “You always say that. But remember what I tell you: you’re more likely to find the right one when you’re not stuck playing 40 questions over a screen.”

She patted my hand for reassurance, and I felt a little lighter.

“Don’t beat yourself up—we’ve all been there. Just enjoy your drink.”

I nodded, acknowledging she was right.

“Okay, but no more than three drinks tonight. I don’t want you getting in trouble again for giving away too many free ones.”

We both laughed as I took a sip while she attended to the next guest.

About an hour later, I was on my third drink, and let me tell you, I was feeling it. “Slightly tipsy” was the best way to describe it, and I was really vibing with the music pouring from the speakers. However, I wasn’t much of a dancer. Sitting at the bar, swaying back and forth in my little bubble, felt just right. I could have kept it up all night, but then I heard an uproar from the dance floor.

Curious, I turned to see what all the commotion was about. Right in the center of the crowd was a group of guys dancing like nobody was watching, and they were good. But the one drawing everyone’s attention wasn’t the loudest or most flamboyant; instead, it was the guy making the subtlest moves. His presence alone was magnetic, giving him an air of mystery that was incredibly alluring.

I found myself standing up, inching closer to get a better view. I didn’t want to get too close—just close enough to appreciate his every move. But maybe that was the mistake, because as soon as I got within range, I was completely captivated. He wore all black: a fitted tank top, loose black pants, and sturdy boots. His shaggy hair was a striking lilac or lavender color, cascading over his forehead. It felt wrong, but the thought of getting his attention flickered in my mind. The only problem? I was supposed to be enjoying myself, not fantasizing about some guy.

“Y/N!” Danielle’s voice broke through my thoughts, and I turned to see her waving me over. That was my cue: stay away from him. After all, it was clear why there were at least ninety girls surrounding him—or so it seemed.

What I didn’t realize was that her shout had caught his attention too, because when I looked back just before walking away, we locked eyes.

“Oh god,” I mumbled to myself, quickly diverting my gaze as he flashed me a gentle smile. The only thing I could manage was a quick nod before I hurried back to the bar, eager to escape any further embarrassment.

“What were you doing over there?” Danielle asked as I settled back into my seat.

“Did you not see those guys? They were amazing!” I nearly pointed but caught a glimpse of him and his friends gathering at the other end of the bar.

“Those guys?” she asked, tilting her head in their direction. “Oh yeah, they’re here every Friday, or so.”

I rolled my eyes. “Of course.”

For some reason, that realization made him feel completely out of reach. I shouldn’t have even considered approaching him, but the thought lingered. Now, with him just ten feet away, it was impossible not to steal glances as I tried to finish what was left of my drink.

“Need another?” I heard a male voice say.

I looked over to find a glass of Hennessy right beside my hand. My gaze lifted to meet the exact guy from the dance floor, and I was shocked. Why was he talking to me? Where were his friends? Regardless, I needed to play it cool; I didn’t want to come off as desperate.

“No, I’m good,” I replied shortly. “This is my third one, anyway.” I barely made eye contact, taking another sip.

“Is that why you were almost on the dance floor?” he joked.

“Maybe. But how would you know?” I finally turned my body toward him.

He took a small sip of his drink. “I saw you—almost as soon as you walked up. I was waiting for you to join in.”

“I’m sure the other ninety women were more than enough for you,” I retorted.

“Damn. Don’t do that,” he said with a smirk.

“Don’t do what? Point out the obvious?” I chuckled. That’s when I really started to feel the liquid courage kicking in. To be honest, I had a lot of animosity toward men right now, and he was my first target. This could either go really well or extremely badly.

“I’m not just another girl for you to toy with, okay? You think I didn’t see all the smirking and body rolling on that dance floor? Keep it over there.” My finger landed on his chest. “And don’t bring your fuckboy act over here.”

He smirked again, taking another sip before resting his hand over my finger that was still resting on his chest. God, why was he so attractive? I’d said enough, so why couldn’t I just get up and leave?

“Let me be clear…” His voice was low and husky, and I barely noticed he had leaned in closer, making my hand rest against his chest. “If I had any intentions with the other women on that floor, or if I were the fuckboy you think I am, then why am I over here with you?”

His eyes searched mine as if trying to find something beyond the asshole persona I was attempting to project.

“Touche,” I responded, quickly pulling my hand back. I finished off my drink, trying to distract myself from getting lost in his gaze. “What’s your name?”

“Jackson,” he said with a smile, clearly pleased that I wasn’t trying to push him away any further. “And you?”

“Y/N,” I replied shyly, worried I might have ruined the rest of the conversation. Just then, another song played, and the crowd erupted again, making us both break our unannounced staring contest and look at the dance floor. The same guys he had arrived with were back out there, cutting loose. I noticed Jackson subtly mimicking their moves.

“You should join them!” I yelled over the music.

“Nah, it’s okay. I’d rather be dancing with someone else,” he said, slowly bringing his gaze back to me.

I rolled my eyes, smirking a little. “Could you be any more corny?”

“No,” he smirked, grabbing my hand and pulling me closer. We were chest to chest now, locked in each other's gaze. “But I’d like the chance to show you what I can do on the dance floor.”

I glanced back at Danielle, who had been watching the whole exchange. My expression should’ve been a dead giveaway for help, but instead, she winked at me. What the hell? She wasn’t helping at all.

“Come on,” he said, breaking our gaze and taking my hand. He led me to the dance floor. “I don’t expect anything more than for you to just feel the music.” He moonwalked to the center of the dance floor.

How could I possibly keep up with that? I barely had rhythm as it was, but that didn’t stop him from pulling me closer. The liquid courage needed to kick in any minute now because I had never been more nervous than I was at that moment.

He turned me around so that my back pressed against his chest, swaying slowly behind me, guiding my body to move in harmony with his. I felt as if I were in a trance, his hands exploring my waist in a way that was both respectful and undeniably sensual. His nose brushed against my hair, and I could feel my eyes fluttering shut, surrendering to his lead as I let the music envelop me. I placed my hands over his, turning my head slightly to bring his face closer to mine, anticipating the moment our lips might meet. But just then, the tempo of the music shifted, shattering the spell we were under. I smiled as we both paused, realizing that our moment had come to an end.

I turned to face him, and I noticed his friends slowly approaching from behind.

“Alright! We see you!” one of them called out.

“Get lost,” he replied, feigning annoyance, which made them all chuckle.

“Sorry, man! We were just about to grab another drink. You coming?”

He glanced back at me. “Yeah, actually. I’ll be right there.” They nodded and headed off, and he turned back to me.

“You know you don’t have to stick around. I wasn’t exactly nice to you a few minutes ago.”

He shrugged. “I can get drinks with them anytime.” He took my hand again and led me back to my original spot at the bar to order another drink. As we waited, he turned to look at me.

“But what was with all that attitude? Was it really just because of how you viewed me?”

I shook my head. “No... just... bad dates.”

He nodded slowly, as if he understood more than I realized.

“Men ain’t shit,” he started, his tone serious. “And I mean that. I don’t know what you’ve been through, and it’s really none of my business, but can I offer you some advice?”

“Sure,” I replied, still swaying to what we could hear of the music.

“Don’t assume every guy you meet is going to be like the last. I know that’s tough, but calling me a fuck boy was a bit much.” He whined playfully, laughter escaping him. “Though, I have to admit, it was pretty funny.”

“Yeah, I’m sorry... I really shouldn’t have said that—” Just then, my favorite song blared through the speakers. Tinashe’s “Nasty” filled the air, and the energy shifted.

“I LOVE THIS SONG!” I shouted, letting go and fully immersing myself in the music. Whatever liquid courage I had left finally surfaced, and I danced like I’d never danced before. I was so caught up in the moment that I didn’t even notice Danielle bringing him another drink; he simply stood there, a huge smirk on his face, watching me.

“Is somebody gonna match my freak...” I began to sing loudly, draping my arms over his neck and leaning in close, letting my hands glide slowly over his chest.

He watched intently as I continued belting out the lyrics. The way he sipped his Hennessy while keeping his gaze fixed on me made my stomach flip. Somehow, I managed to maintain my composure, still singing and letting my hands roam lower, tracing over his abdomen, which made his breath catch.

“Easy...” he murmured, and I couldn’t help but smirk. I had no idea what was happening, but I was enjoying every moment.

I leaned back into his space, my arm wrapped around his neck as the chorus looped again, the constant refrain of “I’ve been a nasty girl” echoing in my ears. I sang every word, body rolling against him while his free hand trailed down my side and rested at my waist. With his other hand, he finished his drink and set the glass down, then placed his palm at the small of my back.

We were mere inches apart; I could feel his breath against my lips, and it made me freeze as the music began to fade into the background. At that moment, I was intoxicated by his scent, and there was no way I could back down now. I’d been in his face for nearly three minutes, singing about being a nasty girl—what else could I expect?

“You singing all of that makes me want to do a lot more than just dance with you...” he whispered. “But that would be disrespectful on our first meeting.”

Good god. At this point, he could have done anything to me; a man who shows respect is the sexiest thing a girl could ask for.

“Then what can you do that wouldn’t be ‘disrespectful’?”

I knew I was asking for it, but I couldn’t help myself. At this rate, I wanted him to make a move.

He chuckled softly, brushing his nose against mine as our faces inched closer together. One hand cupped my face, while the other rested on my hip. I felt his body draw nearer, moving slightly as the music began to swell again, creating a bubble around just the two of us. I slowly closed my eyes, fully aware of what was about to happen. The build-up was intoxicating. I could have closed the distance myself, but something urged me to savor the moment. He began to turn my body until my back was against a wall, his hands landing on either side of me, brushing his lips against mine. When I opened my eyes, I saw him glancing between my eyes and my mouth, so close I could nearly taste him.

My hands moved to cup his neck as we tilted our heads, our lips nearly meeting once more. He was teasing me mercilessly, and damn, was he good at it.

“May I?” he asked, brushing his nose against mine again. There he went again with that respect.

“Please,” I nearly begged, and he slowly closed the gap between us, finally kissing me after what felt like an eternity of anticipation.

Our lips moved in perfect harmony, just like how we danced. His hands slid from the bar back around my waist, while mine fumbled to find their place. I felt most at ease tangling one hand in his hair while the other rested at his side. The kiss deepened as our tongues battled for dominance, making me want to nibble at his bottom lip to tease him even more. But just like that, it was over. He pulled away, leaving me craving more.

We were both breathless, but it was more than worth it. I even heard Danielle cheering quietly behind me, which made us glance at her and shake our heads in amusement.

“I’m sorry. If I’d kept going—”

I raised a finger to his lips. “It’s fine,” I smiled. “There’s always next time.”

He nodded. “I hope it made your night a little better.”

His smile was enchanting, and I could tell he genuinely meant it, which made me feel incredible.

“Mission accomplished.” I gave him a quick peck. “Now, stay in touch.”

“Wait. You’re leaving?” he frowned.

“No!” I laughed. “Danielle’s my ride home since I’ve had a couple of drinks.”

“Smart. I like it,” he teased, locking his gaze with mine again. “Care to dance once more before the night ends?”

“Are you sure you don’t want to get back to your boys?” I asked, noticing them still on the dance floor.

“Look, those are my best friends. I can dance, drink, and whatever else with them anytime,” he assured me. “They’ll understand if I keep dancing with you. And while this may be our last dance tonight, I hope to see you again, outside of this bar.”

I felt a blush creeping up my cheeks. Who would have thought one bad night would turn into something so lucky?

“Deal,” was all I could think to say before he pulled me back out to the dance floor, where we danced until the sun rose.

[pleasantlyinsincere]

David Cassidy on John from Could it be forever? -My Story

During that time, I also got to know one of my musical heroes, John Lennon. When he split with Yoko and was with May Pang, I spent some time in LA with him at Elliot Mintz's house and spent a little time chatting with him. We subsequently had dinner together a couple of times. We'd go to the Imperial Gardens so we could be in a private room where no one would bother us. Later I flew back to New York twice and spent a little time with Yoko. She is very bright and I liked her a lot. I think she was treated unfairly by the media and the public. She provided a real grounding for John and a place to feel safe. She loved him for who she was, not because he was a Beatle. I later found the same thing with my wife, Sue. [...] During the last year of Partridge Family, 1974, John continued making the Rock'n'Roll album. I saw Elliot all the time and John and I would pass messages back and forth to each other through him. John came over to my house in Encino on New Year's eve 1974 or 1975, when I had just finished my world tour. Susan Dey was there and I had fallen asleep at around midnight on her lap. Elliot and John showed up and they had been drinking and celebrating. Susan woke me up and said, 'David, I think there is a Beatle in the house.' After slurring a few words to each other, John and I decided to play some music. So we went to my music room, where I had all my guitars, and we sat on the floor and I began playing the Beatles' song Any Time at All. It was one of my favorites. That and Mr. Moonlight. And John was like, 'Oh, I can't remember that.' He had written hundreds of songs since then. So I sort of re-taught him the chord structure. We sang it together and I did Paul's part. It was like being a Beatle for a moment. I was fulfilling a dream I'd had when I was 13, learning Beatles' songs on my first guitar after seeing them on the Ed Sullivan show. You don't forget some of the first songs you learn. We started playing rock'n'roll songs, stuff by Chuck Berry like Nadine. John loved all that Chuck Berry stuff and he knew it much better than I did. It didn't sound very good, we were drinking, laughing and just stumbling through it. I played him a song I had just written and he started playing me stuff that he was working on. [...] I had an interesting relationship with John. I related to him because of his abandonment issues and creativity. He was kind enough to give me inside into what I was about to go through. He'd been there and done that and was in the process of demystifying himself. Once we were having lunch together, he invited me to come to A&M studios where he was recording the Rock'n'Roll album. He asked me if I wanted to play with the other musicians. I did go but it was so crowded and almost every great guitar player you can think of was there. Harry Nilsson, Cher and lots of other people were there, too. At the time I didn't want to be part of the circus. I only stayed for around 15 minutes, although in hindsight I probably should have played. John had a fabulous sense of humour. He was more dedicated to the things he believed in than anyone I can think of. He wasn't seduced by greed. We only spoke briefly about Paul and his comments at the time were, 'Yeah, well, you know, that's just Paul.' I think John was deeply hurt by their differences and the fact that their partnership wasn't a partnership. He felt the competition with Paul who would come in with 15 songs and want to record them all. John told me, 'I don't want to be in, you know, "Paul & the Beatles". I don't want to be a sideman for Paul. It's not what I want to do anymore.' John Lennon had a very strong influence on me by giving me advice on how to start trying to live a normal life again. How do I find a way to walk down the street or go to a restaurant and not be paranoid? We talked a lot about that. There were certain things that I could say to him and he could say to me that no other people on earth could understand except perhaps the other Beatles and Elvis.

[breaniebree]

Writing Fanfiction in the HP Fandom

Hello All!

This is not something I usually do (i.e. post anything outside of fanfic updates), but I wanted to write a little something about Fandom.

I recently finished reading a book called "Family Don't End With Blood" which was a wonderful collection of essays about people who came together over a love of Supernatural. It included personal moments about the fandom from some of the cast, some of the fans, and some of the people involved in charities or organizations that have stemmed out of the television show and I found it absolutely inspiring! I even teared up a bit (especially reading Jared's chapter). You can find my review on my personal bookstagram brie_reads if you're interested in learning more.

But, I decided that I wanted to just reach out and say something about the idea of fandom and what it means to me because this collection of essays truly inspired me.

I started reading Harry Potter in September of 1999. I was (not to age myself here) 12 years old and my stepmom bought the first three books for my younger brother in an effort to get him more interested in reading. It worked, but I also devoured the books alongside of my brother. I couldn't wait for The Goblet of Fire to come out and fell immediately in love with the characters of Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, Harry Potter, Ginny Weasley, and Ron Weasley. There were of course other characters I loved, but those ones just meant something to me. I still don't think I can fully explain what it was that first drew them to me, but I was hooked. I began writing fanfiction in 2004/2005, but never really got into publishing my work until almost 2006 after reading Half-Blood Prince and being furious at Harry for breaking up with Ginny (the noble git).

By writing Harry Potter fanfiction, I became involved in a fandom community and it was something I'd never really ventured into before. Sure, I had a chat group about Buffy lovers on ICQ and AOL, but a true fandom was something different. By loving Harry Potter and sharing my love for the stories (and my own fanfic stories) I've made incredible friends. One of my oldest online friends I met through communication boards on Sink Into Your Eyes that delved into email sharing, instant messaging, and more. I've made friends of all ages, some older than me, some younger, and from all over the world.

I've exchanged story ideas with people, discussed possible scenario changes, and laughed and cried over things we loved from the books themselves to other amazing fanfics. I've made some incredible friends and I've unfortunately lost some incredible friends along the way as well -- people who cut me out of their lives due to disagreements or miscommunication -- and I've gained new friends in people who not only love what I write, but actually care what I have to say about funny and pointless things like how I think Harry would react in ridiculous situations.

I joined Harry Potter facebook groups (way back for us oldies when you had to have a university or college id to even have facebook) and followed Harry Potter fandoms on Twitter. I joined Tumblr (and have recently gotten over 1300 followers which is mind blowing to me so thank you) to share in my love of the fandom and have seen the most incredible artwork, read the most beautiful stories and poems, and seen things that make me wonder if we read the same books at all LOL.

But the pure joy of being in a fandom of people who love the same things is unlike anything I've ever experienced anywhere else. Now, as a woman in my mid-30s, I look back and think of how much it has impacted my life. It's opened my creativity. It's helped me grow into myself as a person and accept who I am. It's watched me grow up. The Harry Potter fandom has become something I love even more than the original novels that drew me in.

Like everything, there are toxic parts as well. People who are toxic in their views, in their comments, and in their reviews. People who get close to you, only to break you down. But there are also amazing people who fight back against those toxic vibes and remind all of us why we love the Harry Potter fandom. It's the Harry Potter fandom that made me branch out into liking other fandoms, to show off my inner nerd, and most of all, to come to the realization that even if I don't know your real name and even if we've never met, it doesn't mean we can't bond over a shared interest.

You are appreciated.

You are respected.

You are valid.

You are loved.

That to me is what a Fandom represents.

Be positive. Keep smiling. And most of all, know that this fandom means you are not alone.

Share the love. Thank a creator. Tag a friend who you met because of the fandom and appreciate.

Thank you.

Breanie aka Bree

[melodygatesauthor]

Sick of people asking me "when", and I'm gonna talk about it...

If you aren't in the headspace for a post more on the "negative" side then don't read this, but I need to say something about this before I lose my fucking MIND.

The entitlement coming from some of my readers has GOT to fucking stop, and I'm so goddamn serious right now. You have me at my fucking limit on what's supposed to be a fun hobby. So here's what's happening, and I'm not going to be nice about it because I'm so fed up I want to cry:

Over the last few days, I've woken up to messages in my inbox that are all being demanding, entitled, and downright fucking RUDE. Some of you saying you're "disappointed" that I haven't updated certain stories or just saying "where is the next update for x story". Fuck the FUCK off okay? (This is in NO WAY directed at the majority of my readers. The majority of you, fortunately, are very kind and leave me such nice comments and I love you *forehead kiss*)

---

First of all, don't you think that if I had the update ready I would post it?

I don't get paid for this (a point that I will be touching on more later, don't you worry.) so my "payment" is the gratification I get from reblogs and comments. If I don't post, I don't get "paid." So just know that I want to post my stories as much as you want to read them. I think I speak for most writers when I say that. I'm not a fucking dragon hording my fucking stories and chapters in google docs and laughing while you all suffer. I have the stories in my head and I'm crying while I suffer because I don't have enough time to get them all out onto paper before you all start turning into nasty little gremlins over them.

Secondly, you demanding asking for more is not encouraging, nor is it motivational.

Again, I think I'm speaking for most writers with this. When you demand or ask for more, THE ONLY THING *taps megaphone* THE ONLY THING you're doing is reminding the writer that they haven't updated and it gives us a little pit in our tummies at our "failures". (a little note to my fellow writers reading this, you're not a failure, but I know it can feel like that when people come into your inbox like this, despite it not being true). "HoW dO i MoTiVaTe A wRiTeR tO uPdAtE mY fAvOrItE sToRy ThEn?" Well you entitled asshole, I'm SO FUCKING GLAD YOU ASKED. (Because that brings me to my next point).

Third, I'd be willing to put the $200 in my savings account and the change at the bottom of my purse on the fact that YOU HAVEN'T EVEN REBLOGGED MY STORIES.

Sorry, feeling called out? Fucking GOOD. I hope your pillows are warm and moist af on both sides when you're trying to sleep because literally if you're coming into my inbox, acting like THIS and then you have the AUDACITY to not even reblog my work? You're one of the worst kinds of people and I wish you nothing but the worst. It's the ONLY thing I ask for in response to my hard work and I'm sure you can't even manage that. You should be embarrassed.

Fourth, let's talk about how much money I make doing this shall we?

$0...I make ZERO DOLLARS and you are talking to me with more of an attitude and entitlement than a Karen in a fucking grocery store during Covid. Get a grip bro. Wanna start paying my bills so I can write fanfiction full time? DO IT, and THEN we can chat about WHEN something isn't getting updated or WHY it didn't get updated. Until then, shut your fucking mouth and enjoy what I put out, or get off my page. I don't care anymore, I'm so done being nice about this.

Fifth, I LITERALLY UPDATE YOU ALL WEEKLY TO LET YOU KNOW WHEN THE FUCK I'LL BE UPDATING WHAT THE HELL!!!!

With the exception of this past week because I've been so goddamn busy, I post a WEEKLY update letting my readers know when I'll be updating something. I have a busy work schedule, and it's summer, so there are lots of things going on in my life right now. I try to help mitigate the questions you have about "when" and "why" by doing this. What makes me annoyed is that you all seem to be on my page, noticing that I'm not updating and getting upset about that, but you don't take the time to look at the fucking information I put out in your face to avoid having to answer the same questions ten fucking times. Omg and for the love of god FOLLOW @melodygatesupdates FOLLOW THAT BLOG RIGHT NOW OR SO HELP ME. If I have ONE MORE person ask me about my tag list after reading a fic that says "I don't have a taglist anymore so follow @melodygatesupdates" I'm going to lose it.

So here's a blanket statement as to "why" I haven't posted whatever chapter or story you've been waiting for. Pick one of the options below because either one or more are accurate.

I'm working too many hours to have time for updating regularly so am only working on fics that are currently inspiring to me.

Another Adderall shortage so I'm having a hard time focusing.

I don't feel like it today, and despite what you may think, that's a perfectly valid reason not to write something.

I'm working on something else.

Something bad happened in my personal life.

My personal life got busy.

Going forward, for my own sanity, I'm no longer entertaining questions about "why" I haven't updated or "when" I plan to update something. 9 times out of 10 I'll let you know if something is going to be delayed or if it's not in my current scope of interest, but otherwise, just don't ask.

If you're nice when you ask, I'll probably just ignore you and delete your inbox ask. I feel bad doing that to those of you who are kind when you ask, but I just can't take it anymore, especially when I'm telling you right now that you don't need to ask me.

For those who come in hot like "why haven't you..." or "When are you going to..." I'm blocking you. Consider this a warning. Even if you come in on anon, you can still be blocked and I won't fucking hesitate. Learn some manners and then come talk to me, but until then I'm not going to entertain this behavior any longer.

I'm a grown woman in her thirties just trying to pass the time with something I enjoy, and waking up to this every morning over the last few days while working 60+ hours a week fucking sucks. So for my own mental health, I have to start putting my foot down. You're ruining my online experience and making this less fun for me.

Thanks for reading, I love those of you who read this whole thing and who AREN'T the people this post is meant for. You're the real MVPs.

[kingsofeverything]

Thank you to anyone out there who’s read anything I’ve written, left kudos, commented, or messaged me to chat about anything I’ve written. I appreciate you so much 💛

🟨Remember Me Before You ~294k .E. Desperate to find a new place to live after he comes home to find his boyfriend cheating, Harry moves into a loft with three strangers. A New Girl AU.

🟪Spring Fever ~4K .E. Harry’s finally out of the first trimester. He and Louis celebrate.

🟦As You Wish ~25K .E. Harry wished Louis free, and life hasn’t been the same since. Written for @onedirectionbigbang

🟥Southern Comfort ~5K .E. Girl!Direction. At a lavish engagement party thrown by her fiancé’s family, Louis meets what seems like a millions aunts and uncles and cousins, but only one stands out: Harry Styles, a gorgeous brunette in a red dress who makes Louis blush like she might catch fire. Written for @wankersday​.

🟩Uh oh, it’s Magic (when I’m with you) ~7K .E. Everyone Dreams eventually, and everyone’s Dream is different, but all Dreams have one thing in common: They send the Dreamer on a Quest to find their Magic. It’s been months since Louis started his Quest to live as a hermit in a cave in the middle of the woods and he’s not about to let some new guy disturb his hermitage. Written for @1dastroficfest​

⬜️Just Pretend ~90k .E. Louis Tomlinson is a divorced dad who doesn’t date. What free time he has, he likes to spend with his teenage daughter, and if he wants to take someone home, he does it when she’s spending the weekend with her mom. Then he meets Harry Styles, another divorced dad with a teenage daughter, who convinces him it’s a good idea to pretend they’re dating to keep their kids happy. Written for @1dsilverfoxfest​

🟧honey, honey 100 words .NR. a villanelle style poem and drabble inspired by the song “Daylight” and written for @harryshouseficfest​

🟨Late Night Talking ~50k .E. Louis Tomlinson has a new album coming out and a second world tour on the horizon. Promo season gets underway with a stop at Late Night Talking, the late night show hosted by Harry Styles, and Harry Styles just happens to be the man who blew a chance to date Louis a decade ago. Written for the @1dreversebang based on the prompt and gorgeous gifs by @deludedandlostcause

🟦Midnight ~10k .E. “Alphas are for fucking and pheromones,” Louis said during their first conversation, when he was moving into the building and Harry offered to help haul boxes up the stairs. “I’m perfectly capable of carrying my own groceries.” Louis relented when his Omega friend Zayn intervened and asked if he was also capable of moving his couch by himself. All Harry’d wanted to do was be a good neighbor. Now, here he is, half a year later, balls deep and four months into a no strings attached, sex only situation with the Omega of his dreams. He’s still not sure how it happened.

The rest of my Annual* Writing Self-Evaluation is under the cut:

It's been a weird year for me w/r/t fic writing! I wrote my longest fic so far by very much a lot. It was a labor of love and for most of the 8ish months I was writing it, I was feeling very down about my skills and writing in general, but I was having fun with turning New Girl into a larry fic, so I carried on, and I came out the other side ok I guess?

I modded our yearly @wankersday fest and the @harryshouseficfest despite promising myself I'd only do wankfest, and the stress of it solidified that decision lol. No more modding for me (except wankfest).

I wrote 9 fics this year, the lowest number of fics per year since my first year writing, and I posted my first ever fic in October and still wrote 5 fics that year. 6 of my 9 fics this year were for fests. That's more pressure than I usually like to put on myself, but I survived, and here's what my year looked like:

Number of stories posted this year: 9

Word count posted this year: 490,127

Stories with the most:

Kudos: Remember Me Before You (713)

Comment threads: RMBY (656)

Bookmarks: RMBY (605)

Work you are most proud of (and why):

Remember Me Before You my New Girl AU, more than twice as long as the next longest thing I've written, it's really just a love letter to the show. Posting it as a WIP while I finished the last bit was daunting because it's the first time I've done a WIP that wasn't complete before I started posting, but it was so fun! The comments fueled me and I loved chatting with you guys as it was going. Some of you were already New Girl fans, some hadn't seen the show, some starting watching it because of my fic??? it was an experience!

Work you are least proud of (and why):

Uh oh, it’s Magic (when I’m with you) for the @1dastroficfest. It was tough to get started and I think I tried like 4 different ideas for that prompt (The Hermit tarot card), but then Megan @homosociallyyours was like 'what if you took it very literally' and thankfully that worked! This was the first time I've ever been legitimately worried about meeting a deadline.

A favorite excerpt of your writing:

I'm never any good at picking snippets. I usually ask Nic @louandhazaf to assist, but this is part of a snippet I posted earlier this year, so... this is from Just Pretend, my older, divorced larry meet and decide to fake a relationship for their kids fic for @1dsilverfoxfest

According to his mom, he started flirting at two days old, and he’s only gotten better over the last forty-five years. Harry's had about that long to earn a doctorate in dimples. He wields them as he moves closer, pressing his chest against Louis’ palm and lifting his left hand to cradle Louis’ jaw. Cool despite the heat they’ve borrowed from his body, the touch of Harry's rings sends a shiver down Louis’ spine. His heart beats harder as he leans in. 

Louis’s never been a fan of tequila, but the sweet, peppery liquor is hardly perceptible under the taste of lime on Harry's tongue and the swirling, spicy scent of his sweat, deodorant and cologne. Three in the morning is only marginally cooler than midday and after working all night, Louis is damp with sweat and beer and he smells like it. Thankfully, Harry doesn’t seem to mind. He cups the side of Louis’ neck, fingertips toying with the ends of Louis’ silver hair, tickling and sending a thrill through him as he inches closer.

Grabbing hold of Harry's hips, Louis shifts his stance, stepping one foot between Harry's and sliding a hand around to splay across his lower back under the blousy hem of his half-buttoned shirt. Tilting his head, their noses bump, and Harry pulls back, wet lips parted, panting. Louis hardly has time to breathe before Harry guides him into another kiss, holding him so tightly that his forearm presses between Louis’ shoulder blades while his hand cups Louis’ neck. 

Hunching over Louis, his other hand tight on his hip, Harry bends him backwards—dipping him as if they were dancing—and Louis gasps into Harry's mouth. Hungrily, Harry sucks kisses over Louis’ jaw, down his neck to the hollow of his throat, dragging plush lips over the rough two-day beard Louis hasn’t bothered to shave before setting Louis back on his feet. 

Share or describe a favorite review you received:

i can't pick one. i'm terrible at picking favorites! but i will say that every person who read rmby as a wip and commented as they went, you guys are the real mvps of my 2022 fic experience.

A time when writing was really, really hard:

all year. no joke. and i know it seems stupid to say because i've posted almost half a million words this year, but i struggled to enjoy writing for much of this year. deadlines really fuck with my head, so i'm hoping to avoid those next year

A scene or character you wrote that surprised you:

my entire fic for @wankersday in may. it's my first ever time writing girl!direction so i was very nervous and the whole thing surprised me while i was writing it and it continues to surprise me whenever i remember it exists

How did you grow as a writer this year:

idk man. i wrote a kid fic! and i wrote girl!direction. so that's 2 never before things in 2022

How do you hope to grow next year:

tbh i hope to grow in my ability to experience fomo and live with it. i hope to continue to strengthen my ability to say no lol. i'm only planning on writing for wankfest this year, so who knows what'll happen

Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):

nic @louandhazaf is always in this spot. she's my #1, my best friend, the other half of my brain, and the only reason i write

Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year:

doesn't it always? though tbh nothing specific i can think of at the moment

Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:

just write. and listen to @roseanddaggerpodcast :D

Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:

i am going back to school in january, so fic writing is being bumped way down the list of my priorities for 2023. like i said above, i only plan to write for @wankersday in may, but tbh idk if i'll be able to. Other than that, I’m looking forward to recording @roseanddaggerpodcast

Tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read. ;)

well, i drafted this post weeks ago lol and since then i've been tagged by @larryyouknow @jacaranda-bloom @louistomlionson @allwaswell16 @haztobegood @louandhazaf @chai-hat-tea @larrysballetslippers and i'll also tag

@londonfoginacup @bananaheathen @disgruntledkittenface @fallinglikethis @sadaveniren @jaerie @lululawrence @absoloutenonsense @alwaysxlarrie @uhoh-but-yeah-alright @cyantific @littleroverlouis @onlythebravest and if i tagged you in an answer above, consider yourself tagged here as well

*All answers should be about works published in 2022