#Come back stronger Gareth

[heart-eyed-love]

Love is Embarrassing

Summary | You and Eddie embarrass yourselves in front of each other a lot, but that’s okay, it only seems to make your relationship stronger

Contains | Fem!Reader, Established Relationship, Embarrassing Moments, Cursing

Word Count | 1.8k

Currently, You, Eddie, Jeff, Gareth, and Grant, all stand outside the fence surrounding one of the abandoned houses in Hawkins. It’s not a very tall one, but it did slightly ease you, putting distance between you and the sketchy house.

“Do you guys really think this is a smart idea?” Jeff asks, looking over to you and the boys.

“No, actually. I think this is really fucking stupid.” You answer in return, agreeing with Jeff on the fact that this wasn’t the one of the smartest ideas your boyfriend has had. You’re not entirely sure what good could come from this.

“It’ll be fine… It’ll be fun.” Eddie reassured you, lightly putting his hand on your shoulder and giving it an affectionate rub. You only side eye him.

Grant is already making his way closer to the fence when he asks, “Who’s going first?” And when no one answers you narrow your eyes at your boyfriend.

“Wasn’t this your idea?” You ask

He rolls his eyes, “Fine, whatever…” He approaches the fence. And in an attempt to impress, he begins climbing over the fence with ease. Trying to be all slick and suave about it, he’s about to jump off the fence, and be successfully on the other side. But once he does, his jeans catch on the fence… and they rip.

And you cringe once he’s back on the ground, having unfortunately ripped his go-to jeans. His face falls immediately when he notices, but the boys behind you are giggling.

“Dude…” Is all Jeff mutters out between giggles, but Gareth has always been one to make it worse.

“Are those Bats?!” He’s now cackling at his boxers, and even though Eddie's glare would usually make him shut up, the fence between them has made him brave.

“Shut up.” he doesn’t dare look at you yet, cheeks aflame. It’s nothing you haven’t seen before, so you’re not sure why he’s so flustered.

“Maybe it’s a sign.” You shrug your shoulders, looking over to your boyfriend, who’s now currently trying to get a better view of his ass, trying to make the rip less noticeable.

Without looking up at you he says, “We’re going in.” You roll your eyes and make sure way over to the fence. Climbing up carefully as to not be in the same predicament as Eddie. He holds his hands out for you, helping you get down safely.

“Let me see…” You say, now that you can get a better look, hand on his back to turn him so you can see. The other boys begin climbing over the fence as Eddie lets you examine the rip in his pants.

“Is it fixable?” He asks softly.

“Oh, Yeah. We’ll have these fixed right up…” You pat his shoulder, “But for now…” You place your hand on his ass right over the rip with a smirk, “This will have to do…”

Last night was the first night sleeping over at your boyfriend's house. It was a domestic night of bliss, dinner was eaten at the table together, skin care was done, and you both brushed your teeth as you looked at each other through the mirror with a smile.

It was perfect, and the night was concluded by snuggling into his side, head resting on his chest as you both passed out, faster than you ever had. It felt right.

But the next morning was a different story.

You were woken by a soft shake to your shoulder, with eyes scrunched almost closed, you lifted your head from Eddie's chest and felt a stickiness on your cheek. Cracking your eyes a bit more open you’re able to see a wet patch on his shirt. You now know what the stickiness was as you violently tried to wipe the embarrassment off your cheek, then the same to the patch of drool on his chest.

“Shit, I’m so sorry…” You grumble, and Edide can’t help but smile at the pleasant sound of your morning voice.

“No, don’t worry about it, I just was wondering if you were hungry? I thought I could go get some breakfast…?”

“Yeah, that sounds nice…” You say softly, cheeks a little flushed.

“K, let’s go get dressed and brush our teeth and get rid of that morning breath.” He says with a smile, and your eyes go wide and to your mouth in an instant.

“Oh my god.” You whine out turning away from him, and he chuckles, following right behind. Pushing himself up against your back.

“Hey! Don’t be embarrassed, at least it’s not as bad as mine…” He says, lifting himself onto his elbow to get a better advantage on you as he begins blowing his breath into your face. You can’t help but giggle as you squirm away, cause yeah, at least it’s not as bad as that.

“Eddie, stop!” You now move your hand to cover your nose, a smile evident on your face now.

“Let’s go brush our rats' nests out and our morning breath away together, Baby…” He smiles cheekily as he takes your hand to pull you up with him, as he attempts to rake his other through your hair.

He then leans in to try and kiss you, and you pull away with a scrunch of your nose, “Is that really a good idea right now?” You tease.

“I can’t think of a better one.” Giving you the sloppiest kiss you had the honor of receiving.

You and Eddie had been in his bedroom when he acted upon his urges. He always thought it was so much fun to wrestle and play around with you, and he was happy to find out you had just as much fun.

But today, he took it to another level. An unfair level.

He had you pinned down on the bed, and he was tickling you relentlessly. And after having a pretty fulfilling dinner that wasn’t really going well with your stomach.

Giggling as you beg him to stop, losing your breath as he continues, the unfortunate happens. And a small fart escapes you.

You freeze under him, and he’s frozen too as he hovers over you. You can only imagine the shade of your face as Eddie stares down at you. He’s not even laughing, honestly that would feel better than the intense staring he seems to be doing right now.

Wanting to get out of this vulnerable and embarrassing position faster you sit up quickly and shove him off of you.

He’s falling onto his butt on the bed, with a slightly offended, “Hey!” And he’s pushing you back down so he’s on top of you again, moving down to kiss you fiercely.

He pulls away with a teasing smirk, “That was your first fart with me, Babe. Feel proud.”

You roll your eyes, but feel the blush rising to your cheeks again, and he’s leaning back down to kiss you again.

Tonight was special. Usually when Eddie invited you to his shows it consisted of his band playing covers of they’re favorite artists and bands. Lately, they’d been feeling bold enough to start playing some of Corroded Coffin's originals.

Those were your favorites.

But tonight Eddie wanted to do something special for you.

He had made the guys practice ‘Head Over Heals’, he knew it was your favorite. He hoped you’d think this was a romantic gesture, cause he’d never play such a song for anyone else.

He was putting his metalhead dignity on the line for you.

The guys had tried to tease him about it, but he was quick to remind them that he was the only one who actually has a girlfriend and that shut them up pretty quick.

That Tuesday as he saw you sat in the record breaking crowd of 10 drunks, he felt his nerves start getting the best of him. There was a small pit in his stomach at the thought of making a fool of himself.

And when he starts playing the song that has had him worked up since he started practicing it, his eyes find yours, widened and surprised. That doesn't help his nerves much as the first words he sings are slightly high and scratchy, and he cringes to himself slightly. Pulling himself together for most of the song, but unfortunately a few more voice cracks and off tone notes were sung.

After they had finished and went backstage, he plopped himself down on the rickety couch with a loud groan.

“That was totally shit man.” Gareth said as he made his way backstage too, earning a punch to the shoulder from Jeff, big eyes signaling him to shut up. But Eddie was feeling too distraught to give a single ounce of a shit about what Gareth thought.

“I think you sounded sweet…” Grant admits, trying to make him feel better.

“Yeah, don’t listen to Gareth, he’s a dipshit.” Jeff glares over at the boy.

Eddie, only wanting to be romantic for you, but who would swoon over a nervously high pitched, scratchy rendition of their favorite song?

He lets out a groan into his hands. “Eddie…?” A soft voice causes his head to snap up. There you stood, a sweet smile on your face, and he watched the other guy scramble out of the room as you approached the couch he was sitting on.

You sat yourself down next to him, so close, your bare thigh pressed to his denim clad one. “You sang my favorite song…?” At your words he looks over to you, and your eyes somehow are able to hold the most affection that's ever been directed to him. He knew you would never judge or make fun of him for something like that, but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t a humbling experience for him. “I thought you said you’d never stoop so low?” You smirk.

“Yeah well, look what that got me…” He scoffs and looks straight forward, and you can tell by his tone this might be a bit more serious.

“I thought it was great…”

“I sounded like an idiot.” He looks over to you.

“No, you didn’t. I thought you sounded sweet…”

“Sweet? I sounded tone deaf.”

“Well, we both know that you aren’t, I think you were just nervous, Eddie. But, just because it was a little pitchy doesn’t mean I didn’t think it was the best thing I’ve ever heard anyone sing.”

You’re smiling so sweetly at him, and he can’t help but chuckle, “Don’t be a suck up…”

“I’m not, like really, that was the sweetest and most romantic thing anyone’s ever done for me. I loved it… I Love you…” You admit, feeling your own rush of nerves. It was the first time either of you had said it, but it felt fitting. He was vulnerable for you, you can be vulnerable for him.

He stares at you for a second too long, and you look away nervously, “Sorry, that was weird.” You say, but he vigorously shakes his head.

“No! No, it’s not weird… I just didn’t expect that shitty performance to pull an ‘I Love you’ from you…” He chuckles again, “I Love you too…” And he’s leaning in now, kissing your lips softly.

[sp0o0kylights]

Steve and Gareth as Cousins, no longer a warm-up and now called Lifelines, part three! I’ll throw it up on A03 when I finish the fourth part. 

Prior parts can be read here: Part One / Part Two 

First things first, the most amazing @ sereinpetrichor managed to track down the OG Twitter thread this runaway train is based off of! 

It was this thread by @gatorthots, the Tumblr version of which can be read, here.  All blame for this idea firmly rests on their brilliant, plot bunny inducing shoulders. 

The other, follow up thread I mentioned was this one by Silas, whose tumblr name I do not know. 

As always and forever, shout out to the most amazing @chalkysgarbagefire​ who helps me edit/plot/pats my head while I’m crying in their inbox bc the words aren’t wording right. 

Warnings: Steve and Robin are canon (S3) drugged. I took a slightly (kinda sorta) more realistic approach. Vomit mention, canon threat of violence/guns (the Russian guards) Mention of pantsing/past bullying, Steve and Robin’s drugged asses not understanding personal space, Dustin’s canon...Im gonna go with assholishness? but like, I think its more than he’s a young kid and doesn't quite have the emotional growth/awareness yet in this kind of insane situation to know how to react to the whole address/torture bit (really who does)/its a defense mechanism--and Gareth sort of has a panic attack. 

Whatever the hell they had been drugged with, Steve and Robin went from 'giggly happy fun time' to 'vomiting into toilet bowls while loudly wishing for death’ awfully fast. 

Gareth was not an expert on drugs. He knew Eddie wasn't either (the guy never dealt anything stronger than your average psychedelic--had some agreement with his Uncle about only selling "the 70s basics") and repeated looks towards him proved Eddie was still trying to figure out what Steve and Robin were on. 

Answers hadn't exactly been forthcoming--Eddie's gently made attempts at ferreting out information had only caused more confusion.

Like why the two of them were so freaked out about a gate, or what had made Robin gasp, and then laugh so hard she cried when Steve had made a particularly rough noise then muttered; "Even that sounds better than Tammy Thompson." 

Either way, Gareth was mostly trying to figure out what the hell they were going to do, because sobering up in a busy, public mall wasn't exactly the best idea. 

"I regret," Robin tried to say, in-between gagging. "I regret--hrk--" 

"Me too." Steve moaned, head resting against the stall wall. Gareth, still caught up in panic, had been permanently regulated to door guard while Eddie alternated between sweet talking, rubbing backs and offering quietly whispered advice. 

"Let's go back in time and ignore the whole silver cat thing." Robin continued, slumping back down onto the floor. 

"Wouldn't have mattered." Steve muttered. "Dustin would have figured it out without us. Kid’s too damn smart." 

"So?" Robin grumbled, quietly thanking Eddie as he once again brushed her hair out of her face. 

"So he would have gone down there anyway, which means I'd be down there anyway." Steve concluded. "We shouldn't have gotten you involved though." 

He shakily pushed himself up, staggering to his feet and looking like bambi on ice while doing it. 

Eddie quickly came round to offer his help, hands spread as Steve groaned out a curse and clutched his head.  

The older took a step forward right as Steve lurched back, unbalanced and shaky. 

 "Oh shit." He said, eyes wide as he crashed backwards into Eddie, the latter catching him with a grunt. 

Despite the entire situation, Gareth found himself stifling a laugh as Eddie wrapped his noodle arms around Steve's chest, trying to hold the other up without falling himself. 

"Come on big boy, why don't we just siiiit back down." Eddie said, slightly breathless as he helped guide Steve back to the floor. "There we go…"

They did so outside the bathroom stall, Eddie sinking into a kneel as Steve sort of flopped down on top of him. 

Blinked a few times, like the drop had rattled what little sense he’d managed to recover in the last few minutes. 

A pleased noise came out of his cousin's throat, and holy shit was Gareth going to have blackmail for life, because rather than vacate Eddie's lap, Steve just turned around in it. 

Reached up with one finger outstretched and proved himself to be very much still under the influence as he touched Eddie's nose.

"Boop!" He said, and then giggled as Eddie dropped onto his ass in surprise. 

Gareth watched Robin as she took the whole thing in, from Steve's snickers to Eddie's shocked expression, eyes growing wide in excitement. 

He failed entirely to cover his own amusement when Eddie abruptly found himself with two sailors invading his personal space, each taking turns to boop his nose. 

“Uh.” He managed to get out, blinking rapidly and at a loss for words. “Ah.” 

Steve caught the metalhead’s awkward, red-faced expression and proceeded to drop his head to Eddie's shoulder, muffling his laughter against the man's vest. 

The helpless look his best friend sent him was one Gareth would remember for a long time. 

“O-kay.” Eddie said, frazzled, as Steve recovered far too quickly, turning to rest his cheek against a slim shoulder as he walked two fingers up Eddie’s battle vest and towards his hair. Likewise, Robin had discovered Eddie’s wallet chain, and had begun fiddling with it. 

One finger curled around a strand of brown hair and Eddie jerked his head, removing the tempting piece away from Steve’s hands. 

“I know you’re used to getting whatever you want, your highness.” He said, his own hand smacking against his waist before Robin figured out the other end of his chain ended in a handcuff, “But you of all people should know the hair is off limits.” 

Completely undeterred, Steve just gave him a loose, easy grin. “It’s so pretty though.” He complained, fluttering his eyelashes in a blatant attempt to try and turn on the ol’ Harrington charm.  “You can touch mine if you want.” 

Yeah, Gareth’s blackmail was getting better by the second. 

He might even get a new piece for his drum kit out of it, if this kept up. 

Free weed too, considering Eddie’s blush was now fire-engine red. 

“Man,” Eddie said in a clear bid to deflect the entire situation (and Steve’s fingers) away from his hair, “the last time someone called me pretty was right before I got pantsed—-is Tommy H hiding in one of the stalls again?” 

Steve picked his head up, confusion crashing down his face. 

“Did he do that?” He asked. 

Then, with growing horror; “Do you think I’d do that?” 

Eddie raised an eyebrow. “Isn’t that your whole little court’s M.O.?” 

Steve sucked in a breath, looking downright hurt. "I wouldn’t do that." He insisted, eyes wheeling from Eddie to Gareth and back, as though hoping Gareth would back him up. 

“I’m not--I’m not friends with Tommy anymore.” Steve continued, voice growing smaller as he spoke. “I’m not friends with anybody anymore, except maybe Dustin.” 

It sounded so defeated; trodden on and subdued that Gareth stepped forward automatically, to do--something. 

Provide the fucking comfort his cousin was oft denied and hug the guy. 

As always, it turned out to be the wrong move. 

"Oh thank god." A kid said, seconds after bulldozing through the main door and nearly bowling Gareth over in the process. "I found them!" He shouted over his shoulder as swept into the room. 

“Speak of the devil.” Steve said flatly, and even drugged, he managed to pull himself back together from distressed to stoic in mere seconds. 

The curly-haired kid--Dustin apparently--stormed right up to the pile of humans splayed on the floor, hands on his hips. "What the hell. We told you two to stay put!" 

Steve rolled his eyes as Robin booed him. 

“Have you forgotten what’s happening? Or how we’re kinda in a Red Dawn situation?” Dustin continued, looking like he’d just escaped from a summer camp. 

The kid even had a walkie talkie clutched in one hand, of all things. 

“We know.” Steve and Robin deadpanned at once, before looking at each other; Steve pointing a finger towards Robin and Robin pointing one back. 

This caused the kids to trade their own long suffering, “can you believe this shit” faces. 

"We need to go, and the only way we’re gonna get out of here unnoticed is if we blend in with the crowd." Dustin said impatiently.  “Now come on Steve, get up already, you've had worse.”

"I really don't think I have." Steve muttered, but moved to push himself to his feet anyway. 

Eddie beat him to it, and he and Gareth both hovered nearby in case Steve was still unsteady. 

Thankfully, the kids' presence seemed to sober up Robin and Steve both. 

Not actually sober, that wasn't how drugs worked, but whatever was left of the fun was sucked right out of the bathroom, replaced by two teenagers who were sort of functional on whatever they'd been drugged with. 

Stress and adrenaline, Gareth knew, could overcome a lot of things. Including Russian "truth serum" apparently. 

“Yeah well you're lucky you got found by these guys and not anyone else. " Dustin continued pointedly, before turning his attention towards Gareth and Eddie both. "Thanks for watching our friends, but we've got them from here." 

Gareth made a sort of unhinged, disbelieving noise. 

 “No, no you do not.” He declared, anxiety clawing at his gut at the mere thought of abandoning Steve to two children. 

"I don't think you heard him." The girl stepped forward, braids swinging about her face as she lifted her chin and nailed him with a cold glare. 

 As if this entire situation couldn’t possibly get weirder, Gareth suddenly realized she had a helmet in her hands and knee pads on.

 "He said we got this. So scram." She flicked her fingers out in a dismissive sort of "shoo" gesture.

"And leave my drugged cousin with his new girlfriend behind!?" Gareth challenged right back, emotions far too raw and frayed to care he was snarling at a little girl. "I don’t think so!”

"Cousin!?" Dustin bit out, sounding almost betrayed for some reason, at the same time Robin who'd been climbing to her feet with Eddie’s help, shouted; "I am not his girlfriend!" 

Steve, clearly unwilling to entertain whatever fight was brewing, clapped his hands together. 

"Yes cousin, Dustin. It's a type of family member." Steve said, after they all flinched and looked to him. He at least looked steadier on his feet this time, though Gareth still lingered nearby in case he took a wrong step. 

"I know what a cousin is, Steve!" Dustin shot back. 

“Then why are you acting like a lunatic?” Steve complained, and Gareth got to watch in real time as Steve pulled on the persona he often wore in high school down around him. “You said it yourself, we don’t have a lot of time. Worse, I don't know if anyone saw Gareth and Munson here with us.” 

He jerked a thumb sideways in Eddie’s direction, not that anyone couldn’t figure out who “Munson” was. 

“They stay with us until we’re out of this mall.” Steve finished, before he started towards the door.

One step he was Gareth’s cousin, drugged and vulnerable because of it. 

The next he stood taller, talked smoother, took charge with an aurora that said he expected everyone to listen to him. 

It was fake as hell, but it worked. 

“I know you’ve got a plan Dustin, so spill it.” He commanded as he walked.  

 Dustin, despite all the squawking, did just that. 

xXx 

Of all the things Gareth had expected to see upon escorting their little ragtag crew out of the bathroom, groups of intimidating, mean looking assholes wasn’t on the list. 

He found himself repeatedly nudging Eddie in the ribs, unable to take his eyes off what was clearly a checkpoint as he staggered to a halt. 

It was one thing to be told people were after Steve and the “Scoop’s Troop” As Robin had jokingly named them. 

It was another entirely to see the security guard directly in front of him look over a woman’s ID before apologizing to her, a sleazy grin matching his oily pony-tail as he waved her on. 

They really were looking for someone. 

Not someone, Gareth realized in dawning horror.

Them. 

Robin apparently, came to the same conclusion seconds later, because she snatched Steve and Dustin’s arms both, hauling them backwards. 

“Argue about Dustin’s address later, we need to find a different way out.” She hissed quietly as she tried to slowly reversed direction, movements still a bit sloppy. 

She might have even gotten away with it, had Sleazy Pony-Tail not turned and made eye contact with Gareth right after she spoke. 

His eyes swept over him, then to the rest of the group, freezing like a cat that had spotted its prey.

“Abort, abort!” Dustin sputtered, wheeling about on his heel. 

Erica, whose name Gareth had learned when she kicked him in the shin after he asked why an actual infant was running around with Steve and Robin, pointed towards the escalators before she beelined over to it, ducking into the center and riding it down like a slide. 

Something Eddied was downright delighted to copy. 

Gareth might have enjoyed it himself, had he not been looking over his shoulder to see not one, not two, but four security guards giving chase--and gaining. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuckikity fuck.” He heard Robin chant as she shot past, Steve planting himself at the top as he made sure everyone got down to the next level before sliding down himself. 

"Do not let them leave!" One of the guards yelled to the others, accent clear as a bell. 

"Holy shit that guy's actually Russian." Gareth found himself saying as he skidded across the floor and bolted after the others, Steve hot on his heels. 

He had kinda expected the Russian thing to be some sort of drug influenced inside joke and not an actual, honest-to-God Soviet. 

Which led to the question of why the fuck adult men in security uniforms had drugged random teenage retail workers.

Food workers.

Whatever the fuck one called a two people who scooped ice-cream in sailor costumes. 

"There's another group up ahead!" Eddie yelped, swerving sideways and nearly taking Erica out while doing it. 

Noise erupted ahead of them in the form of foreign shouting and loud, harshly barked commands to “Freeze!”  

‘Oh hell no.’ Gareth thought wildly, as he caught the form of the giant fricken gun the guard closest to him held. 

“Split up!” Dustin howled, and before anyone could comment about how bad an idea that was, Gareth found himself being yanked sideways. 

Steve swore loudly behind him as Robin, who’d crashed backwards, pulled him in the opposite direction and in a second their group broke in two. Gareth, Eddie and Dustin going one way, Steve, Robin and Erica another. 

"This isn’t happening." Gareth muttered, words made in a sort of pleading denial as he and Eddie turned the corner and immediately vaulted over the counter of an Orange Julius. “I smoked or drank or did something and this is a hallucination that is not. Actually. Happening.” 

Dustin at least, was smart enough to dive around the counter instead of over it, sliding towards them on his knees. 

Eddie quickly yanked him down to the floor in-between himself and Gareth once he was close enough to grab, one hand going over the hat to shove the kids head down. 

Annoying or not, he was at least several years younger than them, and Gareth could practically feel Eddie’s protective instinct kick in as he kept his hand on Dustin’s head. 

Together they tried to silence their breathing as the guards’ shouting continued on behind them. 

What was worse than their noises though, was when they unexpectedly and suddenly, went silent. 

Gareth’s breath felt far too loud as the stillness gained a suppressive weight, pressing down harshly against him and making it harder and harder to inhale. 

‘Panic attack.’ He realized, thoughts a touch detached. ‘You can’t afford to have a panic attack right now.’ 

Not when it had a high chance of getting them all killed. 

Slowly he moved his own free hand, placing it atop of Eddie’s, fingers gripping down in a way that was no doubt painful. 

Eddie glanced over to him and Gareth thanked every single time he’d smoked way too much weed, because his best friend immediately clocked what was wrong. 

Turned his hand over, so that Gareth could hold onto it atop Dustin’s hat. 

It didn’t help with the knowledge that his very much still drugged cousin and his equally drugged not-girlfriend were also hiding somewhere, or that there was significantly more Russians than there where terrified teenagers (and one--whatever age Erica was.)  

Flashlights cut shapes into the wall overheard, trailing along the Orange Julius menu. Quiet voices covered even quieter footsteps and Gareth had the sudden realization the probability of there being more than one guard carrying a huge gun, was very, very high. 

Worse?

This part of the mall wasn’t that big. There were only so many places to hide, and as such, only so many places to look. 

Death comes for everyone eventually, but Gareth hadn’t exactly expected it to show up before he hit twenty.

Not that they could do anything but wait. Pray to God and the universe and any other higher power he could think of to intervene, head pressed hard against the wood behind him as the small noises drew nearer.

What he hadn’t expected was for said prayers to get answered in the form of a of a fucking car being thrown into the Russian’s like bowling balls. 

“Run!” Dustin shouted, and Gareth wasted absolutely no time in doing just that. 

The only goal on his mind was to find Steve, get out, and then have a very long discussion about what the hell this all was, in that exact order. 

[morganski-19]

Chills Right to the Marrow Part 32

ao3 link| part 1 . . . part 29, part 30, part 31

Eddie ended up needing more than just a week before he was cleared to come home. He needed at least two, and even then, it was all up to the hospital’s physical therapist to determine if he gained enough strength to go home. Where he wasn’t going to get more hurt by living at home.

But he was still coming home. And soon. Which means that Dustin has to get convincing. Steve was supposed to plant the initial seed. Let it ruminate, so by the time Dustin got there, he could hammer the final nail in. But when Dustin pulled out his list of reasons, ready for the spiel, he can barely get a word out before Wayne’s speaking.

“Oh, I already heard all about it,” is what he said. “I can admit that it’s a good plan. Thanks for thinking of it.”

That was easy. Too easy. Did Steve really convince him all by himself?

Either way, the plan was in motion. A few days later, Wayne moves in with Steve. Taking one of the bedrooms upstairs, a few doors down the hall from Steve. Right next to the guest bathroom that would be just his. He was almost never there, but it was better than the motel.

Dustin could tell that he was sleeping a little better. It could be knowing that Eddie was coming home soon, and that he could slow down the house hunting process a little bit. Give more time to find a place that they will both love and spread out the expenses of finding new furniture. Steve already offering storage space in another one of his spare bedrooms and anywhere they need.

It's not like anyone else uses the house.

Time continues to pass, and each day Eddie gets stronger. On the two-month anniversary of the day he woke up from the coma, he takes his first step without any assistance. Human assistance, at least. He is still using mobility aids. But he still did it.

Some days are better than others. The pain has subsided to some extent, but there are days where Dustin visits and Eddie barely moves. Something about pins and needles traveling up his arms and legs when he does. And there are days where he’s really shaky, and nothing can help it.

But he can still come home this week. So, they needed to actually get their asses in gear.

Steve helped Wayne sneak back into his house in the middle of the night to try and salvage some of Eddie’s clothes. Or really, anything that was in Eddie’s room. They were able to save some of Wayne’s stuff too, so he could walk around in something other than the same two outfits and his work uniforms.

The room on the first floor apparently had never even been used. So, Steve had to take the plastic off of the mattress and get some sheets for it. the room was otherwise bare, except for the patterned wallpaper and basic furniture. It wasn’t Eddie though, so it needed some work.

Dustin employed pretty much everyone he could.

“Dustin,” Gareth yelled down the hall. “I have those posters that you wanted, they’re in my garage. Swing by anytime to pick them up.”

It was more posters than Dustin was expecting. Black Sabbath, Dio, Metallica, mixed in with old posters they made for Corroded Coffin, and one old one from Hellfire. There’re a few movie posters mixed in as well from titles Dustin doesn’t even recognize. But it’s good.

Steve finds an old cassette player in his basement. Looks like it had never even been opened. It’s a really nice one too. They were able to find some of Eddie’s cassettes, but most of them where ruined.

It was still something.

“Don’t you think this is, like, a lot,” Mike questions. The posters and picture Dustin had printed out almost entirely covering the walls.

“No,” Dustin says. Going back to unpacking some of the things that they saved from the trailer.

“His room wasn’t even this covered in the trailer,” Lucas adds for some reason. “You don’t think this might be a little overkill.”

Dustin glares at them. “But he didn’t have this gross wallpaper in his trailer.”

“It is not that bad,” El comments from the bed. Her and Max just sitting there, not helping.

“Someone describe it to me, I want to know. Wait,” Max points at Dustin. Somehow knowing exactly where he is and that he was going to describe it poorly. “Someone other than him.”

“It’s literally just a bunch of small red diamonds,” Lucas explains. “Think Steve’s room but slanted and red. But not plaid.”

Max nods. “Yeah, that isn’t that bad. It could be worse. Have you seen the pink flower room.” She gags.

“It still is not that bad,” El defends.

Will and Mike share a look, continuing to unpack a box of books. Steve brings in what should be the last box of things. Considering they were only able to save so much. He looks around at the walls, taking in everything.

“Dustin, I know you want this place to feel like home, but could you leave a little bit of wall uncovered. We don’t want to overwhelm him.”

“He’s not a toddler, Steve,” Dustin groans. “I don’t think he’s going to get overwhelmed.”

Robin comes in to tell Steve something. But gets stopped in her tracks as she looks around the room. “Oh. My. God. That is a lot of posters.”

“Thank you,” Lucas says. Arms crossed while he stands in the corner. “I think we have more than enough on the walls.”

“There’s more?” she questions. “Where were you going to put them?”

“Fine,” Dustin whines. “I won’t put any more posters up.”

Robin leans into Steve. “By the way, your mom’s on the phone.”

Steve lets out a long sigh. “Thank you.”

He walks out of the room, Robin close behind him. The rest of them putting the finishing touches. Lucas and Mike convincing Dustin to take down some of the posters and make the walls look less cluttered. Like Eddie would care about cluttered. Have they seen what his old room looked like.

But he might be able to admit that floor to ceiling posters were a little overkill. He just wanted this place to feel even a little reminiscent of the trailer. Of what Eddie had back home. Is that really so bad?

The next day, they all patiently wait in the living room. Eddie was getting discharged this morning. Meaning that Wayne is bringing him here, right now. Eddie will be in real clothes, out of the hospital. Finally getting back to normal.

Or, as normal as he could possibly be. But still more normal than in a hospital.

Because now, he can eat real food. And get real sleep. That isn’t constantly disturbed by nurses checking on him in the middle of the night. In a bed that is really comfortable. In a house that is constantly quiet.

He might finally start to fully get back to the Eddie that Dustin knew before all of this.

A car pulls up into the drive. Doors slam, and voices can be heard by the door. Steve goes to get the door before the bell rings. They were supposed to wait in the living room, but Dustin can’t help it. He follows.

“Holy shit, Harrington, how tall is this ceiling?”

“I have no clue.”

Eddie’s crutches make soft thumps with every step. Steve shuts the door and lets them know where they can put their shoes. It’s a bustle of voices while Dustin waits for them to turn around and see that he’s there.

That he’s been waiting for this. For so long.

“You know you didn’t have to build that ramp for me,” Eddie says to Steve. Still not turning around.

“I didn’t. I built it for Max. You just get to use it for free.”

Eddie smiles a teasing smile. It’s been a while since Dustin’s seen that. “Aw, taking pity on me, are you, Steve.”

“Just shut up.”

Wayne clears his throat, stopping whatever the two of them were doing. He nods his head toward Dustin still waiting in the hall. Eddie turns his head, finally, and sees him.

Something in the shape of relief fills his face. “Hey, Henderson.”

“You’re here.” Dustin can’t help the wetness in his voice. Or his eyes. He wasn’t expecting to cry, it just happened.

Eddie makes his way over to Dustin. Slightly wincing in pain, but not complaining. He balances his crutches just right so he can pull Dustin into a hug. A proper hug. Dustin’s not sure how long it’s been since he’s hugged Eddie. Too afraid to do in in the hospital.

But he’s not in the hospital anymore.

“Yeah,” Eddie says with more waiver in his voice than he would probably admit. “I’m here.”

tag list (closed): @the-they-who-nerded, @insteviewetrust, @croatoan-like-its-hot, @jettestar,

@tinyplanet95, @steddie-as-they-go, @slv-333, @littlecelestialmoth, @thatonebadideapanda,

@fandomsanddeath, @marismorar, @wonderland-girl143-blog, @glass-bottle03, @gutterflower77,

@here4thetrama, @goodolefashionedloverboi, @jaytriesstuff, @cryptid-system, @manda-panda-monium,

@resident-gay-bitch, @anaibis, @xxsutherlandxx, @forevermineliv, @mugloversonly,

@gregre369, @n0-1-important, @different-tale-student, @spectrum-spectre, @tartarusknight,

@devondespresso, @swimmingbirdrunningrock, @cheertain, @anti-ozzie, @autumncrocusandladybug,

@greeniebean911, @cr0w-culture, @stillfullofshit, @connected-dots, @daisynotquake,

@morgannotlefay, @a-little-unsteddie, @dolphincliffs, @maskofmirrors, @me-and-my-sloth,

@papergrenade, @waelkyring, @sweetheartprincess28, @katouasobj, @astercomoasflores

[jadeylovesmarvelxo]

Mini fluffy soulmate au, fates intervening and things like that. Mentions of a toxic relationship (not Eddie and reader) 18+ blog so minors shoo.

✨🫶🪄

Eddie was so late. This was his last chance to get back together with Violet and he was late. He had planned everything to a T, had flowers sent to her but when he called to confirm that she had gotten them it was met with stony silence.

"What flowers? Honestly all you do is fuck up Eddie, why am I surprised this is any different?" Her words cut him deeply, he wasn't the one who cheated, she was.

All because of a stupid tattoo. A tattoo that literally everyone in the world had. It was the mark of a soulmate, when the person met their soulmate the tattoo would burn and then glow.

The person was their other half, the one. Eddie scoffs at this. It sounded like fairytale bullshit and he wouldn't believe it was more than some fake shit. Except he knew that Steve had met his soulmate, Robin had met hers and Gareth had met his.

He was the only one who hadn't. The odd one out as Wheeler had unhelpfully pointed out.

Violet had supposedly met hers but it was a complete mix up, but she still went ahead and went out with the guy, all because of the constant fighting between her and Eddie.

He lashed out and said stupid things, they broke up and got back together to break up again three weeks later. It was toxic as fuck as Steve pointed out.

Eddie knew that but it was taking him a while to accept that. He didn't believe he would ever meet his soulmate so he spent all of his time with different women, relationships that were eventually doomed to go anywhere (ie. Violet)

He was currently tracking the whereabouts of his flowers and had tracked them to an apartment just a little away from his.

He barely had time to pick them up and get to the restaurant to meet Violet but he was going to try, his phone pings with another voicemail from Violet and he growls in frustration.

Honestly was this really fucking worth all the stress? His mood was growing more and more irritated by the minute, when he finally got to the apartment he was silently fuming.

Jesus h Christ, Violet was going to give him hell. His heart sinks, he really doesn't want to fight again. He was sick of it.

He buzzes the doorbell of the person who took in the flowers, sighs as another voicemail comes through from Violet.

"Eddie Munson, we are through. Fuck you! I'm waiting here like a dumbass and you don't even have the decency to show"

He rubs his head, feels the beginnings of a headache forming and groans. Just what he needs, a migraine to make his day even worse.

"Penny for your thoughts?" He opens his eyes and you're standing watching him, curious and smiling. Wow. He blinks rapidly and his cheeks warm. You were...just wow.

"Uh hi, my flowers were sent here by mistake" he suddenly feels tongue tied. Kinda what he was like in highschool when he met people who he found attractive. Except this was ten times worse.

There's a faint pulse that grows stronger and he realises it's his tattoo, it begins to turn golden and flows brightly.

You come back with the flowers. Gasp, then drop them as you clutch at your wrist. It's like something out of a cheesy movie as you pull up your sleeve and your tattoo is glowing as brightly as Eddie.

Well fuck. You look up at Eddie stunned and beam.

"Well hey there soulmate. Thought you'd never show up" you tease. Any thoughts of reconciliation with Violet completely leaves Eddie's mind. All he wanted to do now was get to know you.

He salvages a rose that hasn't been completely ruined and hands it to you, watches the way your eyes light up and he wants to do that all the time. Watch you smile, get to know you and be with you.

"Hey there, I'm Eddie"

❤️

[thisapplepielife]

Written for the @corrodedcoffinfest Seven Deadly Sins pop-up event.

Wham, Bam, Thank You, Ma'am

Prompt: Envy | Word Count: 666 | Rating: M | CW: Talk of Off-Screen Sex, Recreational Weed Use, Period-Typical Objectification of Women | POV: Eddie | Relationship(s): Off-Screen Gareth/OFCs | Tags: Gareth's on a Hot Streak, None of the Rest of Them Can Understand It, At All

Eddie thinks it's a fluke. A random hot-streak that's gonna end as fast as it started. 

But it doesn't. 

Gareth picks up one, three, then a dozen girls. Nearly every stop they make, Gareth finds a way to get laid. It's honestly getting impressive. For a kid that got no action in high school, he's sure hit his stride once they hit the road. Goddamn.

"Are we gonna talk about it?" Jeff asks, flicking the lighter, flame burning bright, as he holds it up for Eddie to get the joint going. 

"I don't want to talk about it. I don't want to think about it. It's a travesty," Goodie says dryly, and Eddie and Jeff both laugh at him.

Gareth's gone, out for the night, or at least well into it, and the three of them are hanging out in the van, because they don't need another angry motel manager whining about the skunky smell upon check-out.

"He's a little twerp, this's unholy," Goodie continues and Eddie leans into Jeff, cackling.

"I wish I had that kind of confidence," Jeff admits, passing the joint back to Eddie. "To get shot down, and just move along to the next one."

"I mean, if you get enough nos you're eventually gonna get a yes," Eddie reassures, "It's just if you're willing to accept all the rejection first."

"Clearly he'll get rejected all day and all night to get some pussy," Goodie snarks.

They all laugh.

When this all started, Eddie gave Gareth the safe sex lecture, loaded him down with condoms, and told him to have fun, but be safe. The last thing they need is…well, anything that could come from not wrapping it up.

Mama Jones would kill Eddie if anything happens to her boy while they're out here. It's his job to keep all of them safe and in line, at least somewhat. 

"How is he even doing it?" Jeff asks.

"Confidence," Eddie answers, "Charisma. Charm."

Gareth has an easy way about him, a swagger and smile that he's learned to work. Eddie watched it evolve. The kid was never told he couldn't do something, so now he thinks he's god's gift to women, and for some reason, the women are believing this.

It's a pretty great trick he's got going, Eddie's not gonna lie. 

"Cockiness," Goodie adds to the list, interrupting Eddie's thoughts.

They all burst out laughing, and are still cackling when there's rhythmic pounding on the side of the van, making them all jump and then laugh louder. Gareth.

Eddie slides open the door to let Gareth climb in. He reeks of perfume and sex, and they all wave their hands around, like the smell of him is stronger than the skunky weed cloud they're sitting in.

"That was fast," Jeff says.

"Wham, bam, thank you, ma'am," Gareth answers. 

"Got your dick wet, so now you're good enough to hang with us," Goodie says dryly.

"Don't be jealous," Gareth says, snagging the joint right from Goodie's fingers. He gets kicked for his trouble, but doesn't seem to mind.

"That was fast," Eddie echoes, "Did you even leave the parking lot?"

"Nope," Gareth says, and passes back to Eddie. 

"Well, I'm sure she enjoyed the quick encore you gave her," Goodie goads.

"I know what I'm doing. She left with no complaints," Gareth answers, but digs in his pocket, "But I did leave with this, though."

Gareth tosses a bra onto the floor of the van. It's pink, and lacey with a tiny bow.

"Classy, kid," Eddie says, while Goodie toes at it with his sneaker.

"Bras are expensive, she's gonna be pissed," Goodie says, and they all turn to look at him.

"How do you know how much a bra costs?" Gareth asks. 

"I know things. I read."

"Yeah, you been reading the lingerie pages of the Sears catalog," Jeff teases, and Goodie flips him off.

Eddie realizes that's probably exactly where Goodie's gotten this info, and he tosses his head back, laughing. 

If you want to write your own, or see more entries for this challenge, pop on over to @corrodedcoffinfest and follow along with the fun! 🦇

Notes: Before there was the internet, there were the models in the Sears catalog. 👙

[bristof]

Citizen Sleeper 2, One Foot Forward and the Other Slightly Backward

Spoilers for the entirety of Citizen Sleeper 2: Starward Vector

Citizen Sleeper 2 was up there with my most anticipated games of the year. After beating the first game mid last year, I've read every article posted about the sequel, bought the art book made by Lost In Cult, and done everything in my power to get my close friends to play it. Citizen Sleeper is easily one of my favorite games ever made, and unfortunately, the second game does fall short in comparison. Now don't get me wrong, I still loved my time with Starward Vector. The art by Guillaume Singelin is unsurprisingly still incredible, the music and world design still gives you that same unique atmosphere, the cold unforgiving vacuum of space and the somehow even colder and more vicious people behind the corporate dystopia that looms over the game at all times. Yet that warmth is still present within the characters you meet and the found communities that somehow continue to persevere and thrive due to the individual people within them. My only criticism of this game boils down to one thing, time. It took me around 11 hours to beat the first game, that game takes place in one really big location. It took me only 12 hours to complete Starward Vector, which has close to a dozen major settlements and even smaller locations. This game is aiming to have a broader scope, but the characters and narrative suffer due to the lack of time to flesh everyone out. This was most apparent when I approached the end of the game, by that point I had recruited every person you could which adds up to around 7 or 8 people being on the ship. Save for Bliss and Serafin, most of the characters in your crew barely interact with one another outside of their story quests. This leads to the ship feeling really empty a lot of the time. It would have been really cool to hear other characters chime in during major story events, maybe giving insight on potential outcomes based on their specific expertise. A simpler example would have been to add more events while you traveled to other locations. This does happen sometimes with a few of the characters, but most of them didn't get that treatment during my play through. I don't think Nia or Kadet said a single thing to another character on The Rig after recruiting them. Which really sucks, I loved hearing these characters interact with one another and I don't think it should have been as rare.

In terms of broader narrative, I found most of the stories told in this one to be pretty underwhelming in some way or another compared to the first game, save for everything that happens in Wellspring. Laine is a relatively weak villain (though the dialogue involving his control over you is very well written and unsettling), The new characters, while very charming, didn't grab me with their conflicts like the first game. Most of the stronger narrative moments involved a returning character, like the standoff on the asteroid with the fraction drive, or finally figuring out the history behind Olivera. Every character story has the ingredients needed to be something really cool, they are just crushed under the lack of time that permeates everything in this game. The second to second game play is vastly improved, Starward Vector demands that you understand and play around its systems and will heavily punish you if you don't. This can create some really cool narrative gameplay moments, like with your first infiltration into Darkside.

I beat this game a few days ago and will probably come back to this post with different feelings in the future after it's marinated in my head a bit. It says a lot about a game when my one issue is that I wish there was more of it. Starward Vector is absolutely worth your time, while not as numerous, It's filled with lovable characters, challenging decisions and superb writing throughout. Gareth Damian Martin and the others who've worked on these games are profoundly talented individuals and I am confident that their future projects will continue to amaze.

[hellfire--cult]

Baring Teeth {Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader} - Ch. 4

Picture for Banner: pitifulbaby

Chapters: Masterlist (Go here to see list of chapters.)

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader

Tropes: Enemies to Lovers, Non-Traditional Omegaverse, Slow burn, Modern!AU

Warnings: Ab*se, Violence, Mental Health, Cursing, Smut (mild), treat it as a normal Enemies 2 Lovers book, but the A/B/O dynamic will appear at some point.

Crossposted on: Wattpad & AO3

<- Prev. chapter - Next chapter ->

Chapter 4

The sound of the alarm was blasting nonstop next to his head, and he groaned loudly as he opened his eyes.

He looked over to see it was 6:00 AM. 

Eddie ran his hands over his face, and he rubbed his hair which was still wet from the prior night, having to take a shower as soon as he got home. He groaned as he slowly sat up, his hair falling over his shoulders, feeling the cold of it against his bare skin. He swung his legs over the bed, finally getting up to get a big stretch.

He walked outside of his room, heading towards his kitchen to get a glass of water, before going to the bathroom. He looked at himself in the mirror, and saw the tiredness in his eyes. He shouldn’t have stayed longer than he should. He’ll just message Gareth to open up the shop himself so he could sleep in a little bit. He opened the cabinet behind the mirror, and retrieved an orange pill bottle.

He opened it to take one of the large pills out, immediately chugging it down with a gulp of water. He closed the pill bottle and put it back into the cabinet, only to retrieve one of the small glass vials with a purple liquid in them. He only had to do this once a week, and it was due for him to inject a new dose. 

He got a one-use sterile syringe from one of the drawers below and some cotton and rubbing alcohol. He put everything down on the sink and grabbed some of the cotton, drenching it in alcohol, to clean the area between his neck and shoulder. He then opened the pack of the syringe and took it out, to then fill it with the purple liquid that was in the vial. He tapped a few times to make the bubbles come out and then stretched his neck, injecting the medicine there.

He huffed a bit. He was used to this by now, because his health and his condition had been like this since he was 16. He felt how his whole body cooled down just a bit and he groaned in relief as it did. He was glad he had some tattoos running towards his neck, hiding the needle marks he has there from over the years. 

He pulled the needle out and pressed some cotton on his neck to seal the small puncture. He noticed the anger last night, worse than a normal day, and he knew it was because he was due to this injection. He started tidying his bathroom up and then closed the cabinet to look at his reflection again.

He remembered his interaction with you. He was angry, beyond words after you threw the liquid into his face, and he got even angrier after you threw yourself onto him, ready to punch him square in the cheek. He was stronger than you, he knows it, and he kept his hands to himself as best as he could, but he was starting to see red last night, and he was glad that Steve knows about his condition and immediately took him away from you.

But if he couldn’t hurt you physically, then he would hurt you with words, and that’s what he did. What he didn’t know is that his words hurt you on a different level than he thought they would. Eddie winced at the memory of your distant eyes, when all he wanted was for you to go at him again, yell, throw a slap or something.

But you just stood still, looking at him, and then calmly left without speaking to anybody. He knows there’s so much more to your life than what you give Robin, and that’s the main reason he doesn’t like you. Robin is there to give you her full trust, and her friendship, just like she did for him, yet you didn’t want to open up to her, to anybody for that fact. 

He was seeing his own friends, fighting for someone’s trust who didn’t even acknowledge it, or cared that they did. You weren’t even thankful enough to give them your real story, or your real motives. You often lied about your dates going well, and he won’t ever forget how you lied about wanting to go on a date with Jonathan.

It was a week after meeting you, Eddie really thought of apologizing and starting over, thinking that if you didn’t talk about your past it must be because of some personal reason he doesn’t have the right to meddle in. But then, Jonathan asked you out, and his friend had liked you since the first moment he saw you, but you; you accepted the invitation, already knowing you saw him as a friend.

And that irritated him even more.

He protected his friends like family, and something about you was completely off with him. He didn’t trust you, he didn’t like you, but his friends did for some unknown reason, and that might be because he didn’t get to know you personally and they did, but his first impression of you was enough for him to not be interested in doing so.

Whatever it is that you went through was obvious that you didn’t want anything to do with it anymore, but still, Eddie believes his friends deserve an explanation, and even more so if you were going to snap at him like you did last night. He doesn’t even want the explanation himself, he just wants his friends, who actually like you and trust you completely, to receive the same kind of trust from you.

He groaned as he clenched his fists against the sink, taking a deep breath in and cracking his neck, side to side. Should he apologize to you? Should he even try? But why would he? What good would it do? You won’t believe his apology, so maybe the best option here is to simply shut up about it, and let it go behind you both, put it in the past.

“Fuck.” He sighed heavily as the flash of your eyes came back to his mind. He really did fucking hurt you with that one. He blamed himself for it, for not being careful about his medication. He should have taken everything the day before, because if he did, maybe your lies wouldn’t have gotten to him the way they did. It’s not like you’re a special case, it happened to everyone at least once.

Steve never took it personally when Eddie would snap at him when his meds were running low in his system, but he did get into a fight with Robin once. That lasted for a whole week, and he took the matter in his own hands, showing at her home with flowers, and a pair of tickets to go see the nutcracker, even if Eddie fucking hated ballet.

He winced at the memory of forgetting his meds back here when he visited Wayne in Hawkins. He had to drive his uncle away because he was afraid of hurting the poor old man. He took a deep breath to look at himself in the mirror again. He hated this of himself, he hated it, with every fiber in his body, but there’s nothing he can do but keep taking his meds to balance his emotions out. 

He turned the light of the bathroom off to head back towards his bedroom, immediately flopping onto the bed, head first. He grabbed his cellphone and messaged Gareth to open the shop for him, that he feels sick and will come in some time later. He blocked his phone and put it on the night table again, staring at the ceiling for a few minutes before closing his eyes.

He should have taken the meds one day prior.

—————————————————

He cursed in excitement as he turned the ignition key of an old Ford and the engine came to life. He had to put a lot of money in spare parts but the owner of the car had agreed either way in the repair. 

“Food delivery!” Steve yelled loudly into the garage with four bags of Five Guys. Gareth and Jeff rushed towards him, starving and finally able to have a lunch break.

“God, Harrington, you are godsend.” Gareth exclaimed with a relieved sigh as he took his own bag of food while Steve chuckled, handing Jeff his own, who was rolling his eyes at his friend’s exaggeration. Eddie closed his car’s door, confused as to why Steve came by to his shop, but he won’t deny the bag of fast food in front of him. He walked towards him, ready to take the bag but Steve pulled it away from him, earning a glare from Eddie’s part.

“Oh no… You and I have some talking to do.” And shit. Eddie groaned loudly as he crossed his arms over his chest.

“Seriously Harrington?” Eddie stood his ground against Steve but the younger male didn’t budge, he simply shrugged and smirked at his friend.

“If we don’t talk, you get no food. Easy as that, and it’s your fucking favorite Munson.” At that Eddie’s ears perked up and he looked back at Gareth and Jeff who were already devouring their burgers and Eddie’s stomach grumbled in protest. He turned to Steve again, snatching the bag of food from his hands before walking outside of the garage.

Steve smiled at his friend’s antics and walked behind him, following him to the back of the garage where Eddie took his smoke breaks and he had a nice picnic table set so that he and the boys could have breaks with some fresh air. They both sat down, across from each other, and they started taking the food out of their bags. Steve munched on a fry as Eddie started preparing his burger with some of his fries inside.

“So… Care to tell me what the fuck happened yesterday?” Eddie winced at that and shook his head, closing his burger.

“She started it, Steve. She threw the beer on my face.” Eddie says, taking a bite out of his burger and Steve squinted at his friend.

“Yeah, of course, but I bet that she didn’t do it for the hell of it Munson… So what did you say to her?” Eddie looked at his friend with an offended look in his eyes and shook his head as he swallowed the bite.

“I am your best friend, and you don’t believe me?” 

“Fuck no.” Eddie’s eyes widened slightly at Steve and then nodded as if deep in thought.

“I see how it is, Harrington.” At that Steve scoffed, already tired of Eddie’s dramatism.

“I believe you in everything else, but I don’t trust that you didn’t say anything to her for her to become like that.” Eddie looked down at his food as he ate quietly, deliberating if to simply talk it out, or keep it inside, but he knew that the pounding on his heart and the guilt he felt in his belly wasn’t just going to disappear. He sighed and put his burger down on the wrapped as he ran his hands through his face.

“I could tell she was lying about her date… Once again.” Steve shook his head as he took a bite out of his burger. “I mean, Steve, I’m sorry I just fucking hate liars. I hate people that try to fit in, and I hate even more the fact that you all trust her but she doesn’t trust you back.” At that, Steve rolled his eyes as he swallowed.

“You think I tell her my biggest secrets Eddie? Seriously, just because she doesn’t want to tell us about whatever she went through in Atlanta, doesn’t make her a bad person.” Steve explained and now it was Eddie’s turn to roll his eyes.

“What if she did something back there? What if she did something bad? Something she is ashamed of saying?” Eddie exclaims as he takes a big bite out of his burger again and then a sip of his drink.

“Then if she is ashamed it means she regrets it. Eddie, we trust the girl we met now, not the girl she wants to forget.” At that, Eddie stared down at his food, his mind going back to your absent eyes as you looked at noone in particular. It didn’t look like someone who did something bad, but rather, it looked like they did wrong to you at some point. His stomach twisted and he cursed loudly because it was messing with his hunger.

“I went overboard last night…” Steve nodded as he took a fry in his mouth and his eyebrows raised up feigning surprise.

“No fucking shit.” 

“My meds were due… I should of taken them yesterday morning.” Eddie looked up at the sky as he took a deep breath in, and his eyes immediately went to Steve, who was looking at him with worry.

“You okay with that? The meds are okay?” Steve asked and Eddie nodded, finally feeling the knot go away in his stomach and start eating again. Steve knew Eddie didn’t like talking about his condition, so he changed subjects again. “Are you going to say sorry to her?” Eddie almost chokes on a fry at that.

“No way. It would only make matters worse really. Just let some time go by and we’ll see from there, until then it might be better to not cross paths with her.” Eddie explains and Steve huffs at him, putting his drink down.

“Are you seriously going to run away from that? I mean, maybe if you apologize, you can get a new friend.” Eddie looked at him with a skeptical look in his eyes.

“I won’t tolerate her lying to me in my face, Harrington, I’m not like you, or anyone else for that matter.” Steve caught on his words and bit the inside of his cheek, and simply gave up on the subject. The worst part is that you both might even be good friends, and Steve knows it, everyone knows it, except for you and Eddie. Your tastes are alike, your sense of humor is the same, your exaggerated banterings are the same. 

But Steve understood, or at least he tried to. He understands that Eddie’s condition is not one that would let him trust people that easily, but he can’t help but think that the older male is a little bit hypocritical. 

Steve and Dustin are the only ones that know about his condition, about his sickness. Eddie never opened up about it to Robin, Nancy, Argyle or Jonathan. It was just a coincidence and simply bad timing, but if you think about it, it was excellent timing, because if Steve didn’t rush Eddie to his doctor in time, he didn’t know what Eddie would have done in that state.

“Fine… Just, don’t get on her nerves anymore Ed… Not like that. She looked deeply hurt with your last words.” And Eddie winced again, not wanting to remember your face any longer, because he remembered your despair, your nervousness, your fear. He could see it all. He knew Steve wanted to help, but what was done was done, and there really wasn’t a way to go back on his words now. 

“Just let it go, Steve. She and I are never going to be friends.” And Steve gave a scoff at that, already putting away the trash in the fast food bag.

“You’re impossible. I hope you know that.” Eddie nodded in understanding but a small tug of the lips happened at the corner of his lips. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and opened his messages, searching for Wayne’s last conversation. He opened it and took a deep breath before sending a greeting to him. Steve noticed the slight switch of emotions in his friend’s eyes and body movement and cracked his knuckles as he looked at him. “Is he better?”

Eddie gulped and put his phone away as he put the trash away from his food, taking final sips of his drink. He rarely talked about himself, or his feelings, or about his family in general, and Steve was glad he could make his friend at least give him the short version of things.

“Lucia is taking care of him… She says he does look more energized after the last chemo session.” He replies, still not looking at Steve, but his friend noticed the lack of response of ‘yes’ or ‘no’. So he wasn’t going to nudge any further into that topic. He knew Wayne is the last family member Eddie’s got, and since he was diagnosed with cancer last year, Eddie’s been reluctant to actually let other people inside his life. 

The older male didn’t do things because of malice. He just believed that keeping people away is better than driving them in, knowing that one day they will probably leave, by their own accord, or life would simply run out on them. He is bracing himself for Wayne’s departure, because he knows there’s no way of stopping lung cancer, it’s just buying time for the inevitable. 

His mood darkened at the thoughts and he groaned, standing up and Steve followed, looking at Eddie with a pained look in his face.

“You know that we’re here… right?” Steve reminded his friend, and Eddie felt his chest warm at his words. He gave a small nod as he patted Steve’s shoulder.

“Thank you for the food. Go help Jonathan, I’m sure you left him completely alone at the bar.” Steve waved at him with a ‘pff’ noise in his lips. 

“He can handle an hour without me.” He said with a smile and Eddie shook his head with a chuckle, looking towards his shop. 

“Okay, let me know if there are any plans for the week… And, well…” Eddie didn’t go on with his words, rubbing the back of his neck. Steve rolled his eyes and shook his head.

“We are not going to invite one and not the other. We’ll invite you both, and it will be up to you to see if you can stand one another.” Steve said with a frown to his face, and Eddie understood, nodding at him. He didn’t want to face you, he really didn’t. Not because he is scared, or because he is afraid of what could happen, but because he would want to apologize to you, and that will only make matters worse. He knows you don’t want him talking to you.

So distance it is.

—————————————————

End of chapter 4

<- Prev. chapter - Next chapter ->

A/N: Please, comment or send me an ask if you desire to be put in the taglist ❤️

taglist: @enam3ll @rainybakerypandaegg @katethetank @seatnights @oliskitten @bebe07011 @seventhlevelofhell

[mask131]

The fantasy in modern Arthuriana (3)

A follow-up of the previous post.

If the medieval Arthurian literature accumulates the tales of the feats of the heroes, the detail of their thoughts is mostly left in the shadows. Like the prose of Malory says for a good number of knights, “He said but little”, “He seyde but lytyll”. In other words, the Arthurian romance of the Middle-Ages is concerned with actions, not words. It is even truer when it comes to the female characters, a minority among the Arthurian adventures, and who are limited to a specific set of roles: queen and giver of goods (Guinevere), virgin and emissary of adventure (Linette), sad and dying lover (the lady of Escalot)… Such a restriction of functions invited in itself a fleshing out of the characters, not to say a remake. It is even stronger when we come to the sorceresses, another type of women largely used by modern rewrites, probably because they are precisely among the female characters the only one who, in the Middle-Ages, can freely participate to the action. [It is true that the maidens who guide the knights throughout their quests seem to also have an important area of action, but very often it is suggested that they belong to the supernatural world. In the Morte Darthur, the three ladies met by Gawain, Yvain and Marhalt embody the three ages of woman; Linette, who guides Gareth and helps him in his love, is able to “piece back together” and resurrect a dead knight].

If the revisited Arthurian literature likes to give a voice to women, these characters so often overshadowed by their male counterparts who are always in a war or on a quest, it is probably because at first it was an innovation. Since everything was already said in the past, one of the simplest ways to renew the tale is to give a voice to the mutes, here women. This innovation was very quickly assimilated to a feminist, though not always feminine, current, under the major influence of Marion Zimmer Bradley and her “Mists of Avalon”. In it the focus is placed on the enchantresses, Viviane and Morgan mainly. Given the huge success of these novels, the characters within it had a tendency to influence, consciously or not, ulterior treatments of the Arthurian fiction and its female characters. As such, when Cindy Mediavilla wrote about “The Mists of Avalon”, she said “[it] sets the standard for Arthurian fiction told from the female perspective. Heavy with images of the Goddess versus the male dominance of Christianity, this story (…) is highly recommended for all fans of the genre, especially young feminists seeking alternate renderings of the legend.” (Arthurian Fiction – An Annotated Bibliography). Outside of this “feminist” dimension, there is still a great number of recurring trends discernable within contemporary novels that have a direct influence over the idea of magic, and by extension, the genre or sub-genre to which the Arthurian novel belongs. [Maureen Fries heavily nuanced the feminism at work here: Viviane is killed by Balin, Nimue killed herself after betraying Kevin, Niniane is used then killed by Mordred, Morgan ens up admitting the universality of religious symbols even assimilated the Great Goddess to the Virgin Mary… “Indeed, real empowerment escape all of the women in the book except perhaps (and indirectly) Gwenhwyfar, whose narrow Christianity Arthur embraces.” – “Trends in the Modern Arthurian Novel”, in “King Arthur Through the Ages”]

The duo Viviane/Morgan is most often treated as an antagonism. In line with the sources, Viviane appears as a kind fairy who raises Lancelot and acts to help Arthur dispel the schemes of his malevolent half-sister. [With a rare set of exceptions, including Fred T. Saberhagen’s Dominion which subverts many preconceptions by making Viviane a bloodthirsty high-priestess and Merlin a drunkard with a failing magic, closer to the buffoon that appears in the BD “Le chant d’Excalibur” by Arleston and Hübsch than to the medieval prophet] But the shadows among the medieval characters are enough to allow anyone to interpret them in various ways. Indeed, this sweet Lady of the Lake is also the woman that used Merlin to augment her own power before imprisoning him for all of eternity. And Morgan is at the same time the enemy of the Round Table and the crying sister which takes a dying Arthur in her arms to carry him away to Avalon. This ambiguity is complexified by numerous possible divisions or assimilations: Viviane is also Niniane or Nimue, except when they are all different characters. Mordred is either the son of Morgan, or of her sister Morgause. The sources vary a lot about these facts, and so do the modern authors – and the same thing applies to the love-romances that are woven between the enchantresses and their victims, between Merlin and his students. [Within the “Lancelot-Graal”, Morgan is said to have been the student of Merlin, but she is different from Viviane, another of his student who ended up imprisoning the wizard. Yet, there is a temptation to synthetize in one character the student, the mistress and the enemy. On another subject, the hatred of Morgan for the Round Table could be explained by her love for the cousin of the queen, a love that said queen managed to destroy. As early as the Middle-Ages we see the beginning of, not a rehabilitation, but at least excusing circumstances for Morgan’s criminal behavior towards her brother and his kingdom.]

The opposition of benevolent sorceresses and malevolent wizardesses is inscribed in a broader way within a specific conception of magic. If we can easily admit that there are things such as “white” or “black” magic, if we admit that there are wizards opposing witches (or necromancers), than this duality invokes the symbolism of good versus evil. In the context of the Arthurian legend, the magic that serves Arthur and his chivalrous ideal is supposed to be white, while the one of those that stand against him is black. It is the case with Stephen Lawhead or Gillian Bradshaw, where the future of the world depends on a battle between Light and Darkness. [Gillian Bradshaw created “Hawk of May” and “Kingdom of Summer”. The expression “Kingdom of Summer” is also very present within Lawhead’s work, reinforcing the link between those two authors. Lawhead prefers to name two of his characters Gwalcmai and Gwalchavad, “hawk of May” and “hawk of Summer”, rather than Gawain and Galahad. As for the opposition of the Light and the Darkness, we can be reminded of the two sides of the Force within “Star Wars”, which is filled with Arthurian references.]

But this symbolism also evokes several moral values that already prepare the question of how magic and religion coexist. Already in the Middle-Ages the limits are blurry when it comes to separating magic, religion, and science – especially medical science. (See Richard Kieckheffer’s Magic in the Middle-Ages) The knowledge of plants can be seen with suspicions, and the various invocations look very similar to each other, no matter if they are for a saint or a demon. All those contradictions coexist within the modern Arthurian literature as a whole, even though if most authors take care to establish a cohesive magic system within the setting of their tale.

As such we frequently have an opposition between magic and religion, where magic relies on nature and traditional beliefs of which women are the bearers, while religion relies on a recent importation of Christianism and is presented as repressive and misogynistic. It is the case in Marion Zimmer Bradley’s work, where the magic is natural, “sympathetic”, against fanatical Christians who only dream of absolute power. Bernard Cornwell depicts a desacralized Christianity in an even darker light, as a religion only concerned with accumulating wealth by exploiting naïve pilgrims. The prayers are emphatic but useless, and the priest Samson, a future saint, has a rat-like face, a strong dislike of Guinevere and Nimue, as well as a heavily hinted preference for very young monks. The only Christian that is acceptable to the eyes of the narrator is the bishop Bedwin, who turns out to not be a quite faithful Christian, and an emblematic example of the improbable reconciliation of the extremes within modern Arthurians – a treatment of magic an religion that prefers the opposition of forces rather than their complementary. It forms indeed an explosive situation that is able to captivate more the attention of a reader rather than an idyllic statu quo. As such, what imposed itself as an Arthurian topos is the idea of a mostly pagan Britain attacked by the hegemonic projects of Christianism – despite the historical and archeological informations contraicting this view. The historicizing of the Arthurian setting is thus sometimes independent from the story, while not negating its realism or “vraisemblance”. [Adam Roberts, in “Silk and Potatoes” pointed out that in Lawhead’s work the Briton peasants are wearing silk, which is highly improbable, and that they cook with potatoes, an obvious anachronism.]

Stephen Lawhead tries to have a pacific shift from the old religion and its beliefs (assimilated to magic) to the Christian religion of the God of love. Taliesin, then Merlin, both have a revelation of the unicity of the divine, and as such their bardic invocations are now addressed to the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, but they stay unchanged in language or effect. What was once a spell or a trick becomes a miracle. Lawhead’s tale however is flawed by an oversimplification. If all this “magic” comes from God, then where do Morgian’s wicked powers come from? The unbreakable faith of Merlin within the superiority of God over Satan is admirable in a catechism context, but it removes an essential tool of the tale: its suspense.  A duel between Morgian and Merlin during which the latter won’t suffer any blow, protected as he is by the armor of his faith, is quite disappointing, not to say boring. And what about the magic of the Small Folks, which seems to need a technical learning? The tale cannot fully escape a certain number of expectations, such as the oppositions between white and black magic, or between paganism and Christianity, or the presence of another “fairy”-like people cohabiting discreetly with the Britons. As such, while the attempt at Christianizing the supernatural is interesting because quite rare today (though it was very common in the Middle-Ages), is works badly.

It is a testimony of the weight of obligatory elements within the modern Arthurian fiction, a fiction that was shaped as much by contemporary successes as by, if not more than, its relationship to the medieval sources. If the articulation between magic and religion can be done in various ways, it stays in many cases a strong opposition between white magic/women/tradition, and religion/men/change. And since, outside of Merlin, most of the wizards of the medieval romances are women, magic is thus colored by femaleness, not to say feminism. In a world where male characters kill each other with weapons, women heal wounds with herbs and words. The image of the healer-Viviane, sweet and motherly, is opposed to the brutality of a world of warriors. At another level, it seems that the sorceresses embody the “fantasy temptation” while the warriors embody the “historical temptation”. [Raymond H. Thompson notes the gendered polarity within Arthurian rewrites since WWII, between a feminine movement closer to heroic fantasy, and a male movement, bloodier and closer to sword and sorcery (“Arthurian Legend in Science-Fiction and Fantasy”, in “King Arthur Through the Ages”)] As such, the novels that focus on the female characters also focus on magic, while those concerned with men and their wars are historicizing the Arthurian era. As Thomson said: “The focus thus shifts from warfare to the political and domestic conflicts that raise Arthur to power, and then destroy him.”

But if this is the case, where do we place evil wizardesses such as Morgan? They find their place within the rewrites that use abundantly of the supernatural, which is then vast enough to include both good and evil. Moreso, if the Middle-Ages offered a complex depiction of the enchantresses, the dark side of Morgane/Morgause stays dominant. Modern rewrites thus very easily use this malevolent aspect. It is the case of T.H. White whose second book, “The Witch in the Wood” was later renamed “The Queen of Air and Darkness” to designate Morgause. Gillian Bradshaw also depicts a fully evil Morgause who tries to teach her son Gwalchmai the occult arts. But he prefers the side of Light, and he joins Arthur and his knights. We find these two influences within Lawhead’s Morgian, also qualified of “Queen of Air and Darkness”, and who serves the Devil while Merlin fights by the sides of Arthur, the champion of Light. This distribution of the magical forces intensifies the motif of the conflict on several levels. The Darkness can be historical: the one of the “Dark Ages” at the beginning of the Middle-Ages, the one of the various disasters (war, plague, famine, insecurity) brought by the Saxon invader. But in a cyclical point of view, which extends the mythical side of the Arthurian theme even in rewrites that try to be historical, the fight between Good and Evil becomes recurrent. Arthur and Morgan (or her avatars) are easily identifiable archetypes. This repetition ability highlights the non-temporality of the myth and justifies the growing number of Arthurian rewrites: the myth is eternal, and thus must be eternally retold.

But these retellings do not simply replay the classical gigantic fight between the servants of the Light and those of the Darkness. A quite important number of modern authors chose to rehabilitate the unloved characters, mostly by giving them a voice. As such, the grudge-bearing, jealous witch of the medieval romances disappears, replaced by a loving and healing sister. Phyllis Ann Karr, within “The Idylls of the Queen”, offers a clever treatment of the character of Morgan, rehabilitated by a systematical refutation of the rumors, those that will become the “official” version of the legend later on. Morgan recognizes the facts, but offers other explanations for them, motivations misunderstood by her contemporaries and thus doomed to stay unknown (until the modern author reveals them, of course). This modern process of subverting the medieval stereotype (here the wicked witch that becomes the most faithful and loving servant of the Arthurian grandeur, pushing the devotion to a refusal to be offended by her bad reputation) can be declined in an infinite way, even on a parodic tone. Thomas Berger offers an anemic Galahad barely able to ride a horse, instead of the invulnerable knight supposed to be an “improved” version of his father Lancelot. John Gloag paints a Merlin prone to mistakes within his prophecies, and makes the entire announced and expected Arthurian glory a huge prank. T.H. White made his Lancelot ugly, where the Middle-Ages encouraged to see him as beautiful since he was “the perfect lover”.

However, as with all process, this technique has its limits. By constantly subverting the reader’s expectations, we create new demands. Morgan is constantly rehabilitated, Lancelot is constantly made darker or disgraced by modern authors, who are numerous (maybe too numerous?) in trying to set themselves apart from their predecessors. Cornwell’s Lancelot is an arrogant coward, while in other novels he simply disappears as the lover of the queen and/or the right arm of Arthur. He is replaced by characters deemed more historical (Bedwyr for Rosemary Sutcliff or Joan Wolff), or by characters invented for the plot (John Gloag’s Wencla, Victor Canning’s Borio). As if suppressing the greatest Arthurian knight was needed to surprise the modern reader. Under such a light, the rehabilitation of witches as misunderstood sorceresses is almost becoming more stereotypical than the original model of the “truly wicked”.

It seems that, for now, the only true novelty that modern authors have not dared is an Arthurian novel without Arthur. But this path seems to be under exploration: Arto, Artos, Artorius, all spellings that can establish a difference with the original character is welcome, especially if it establishes a gap between the foggy and uncertain time when the legend was born and the era of the modern rewrite. The exploitation of the Arthurian prehistory is another sign of it. The Arthurian novel without supernatural is also another facet of this quest for a renewal. But since the “pure” historical novel has already been done in the past, the “new novelty” is the reintroduction of the marvelous – not in its original form, but in a subtler one influenced by the past historicizing. We entered an era of “rationalizing” and “walling” of the “merveilleux”. Rationalizing the wonderful means exploiting events and actions that can be given the appearance of magic ; “walling” the marvelous means limiting magical abilities to a specific group of characters, usually non-humans and thus marginalized.

[a-funeral-pyre]

May Day Parade - Round Six: Violence is Romance Enacted in Blood

Final entry for @queer-ragnelle 's May Day Parade. Of course, since this prompt is about tragedy, this one is about Gawain and Lancelot. I hope it came out well!

I trusted you. It should not have come to this. Once, you would not have wanted it. You were companions, and something more. You were united by a loyalty stronger than that between two warriors, and no one could have taken his place at your side. The thought that he was still alive could have brought you nothing but relief, even after his adultery had come to light. So why did he betray you? The words with which he tried to appease you do not matter. They will not be enough to bring your brothers back. No one deserves your forgiveness for this, not even him. You tried until the end to save his life, despite his crimes. Even though he had trampled on his vows and stained the purity with which he had bound your heart. You prayed that he would return to you one day, once your uncle's mercy allowed him to. He came back, and he took away what was most precious to you. You could have tolerated what happened to Agravain. He shouldn't have died. But he made a cowardly and unworthy assault, and it paid off. You could have accepted his end, perhaps. But not what happened next. Gaheris did not attack him. Gareth did not even defend himself. The man you loved, who you called friend and brother for so long, could never have killed innocents. He would never have condemned you to be burned by this fire of wrath and torment. But now he is no longer the same as before, and there is nothing left to stop you from repaying him for his betrayal. Even if his face is that of the one you admired most, even if his voice begs you to desist, you will not stop. To give up would force your brothers to remain unavenged – and you would keep hearing their cries, and drowning in their blood. The blood he shed is the same that flows in your veins. You could not ignore it even if you wanted to. The same blood placed you in your uncle's service, and drove your blade into Lamorak's body. Another revenge will be no different. You just wish he had not been the one to do this to you. If it had been anyone else who destroyed your family, madness would not have devoured you in the same way. But you have already had to see death freeze too many familiar faces. At least, when the same happens to him, knowing that you have punished the one who tore your family and your soul apart will fill the abyss that have opened up inside you. Maybe. Hope is all that keeps you alive. It is too late to repent. It is too late to forgive. If this war marks the end of all honor and loyalty, you no longer have any reason not to drag the cause of your downfall with you. You will not stop. Not until you feel his last breath brush against your face, the heat of his bleeding body against yours. Not until you feel your own heart tearing and yielding. You will wash your wounds with his blood. Perhaps you will stop burning before you die.

[wellpresseddaisy]

And Wishing I Was Gone, Going Home

Rather belated, but for the 4th prompt, Home.

His mother never told him magic had a smell.

She’d taught him so many things in their shabby kitchen in Cokeworth, but not that. He’d thought it her perfume, the subtle scent of petrichor and stormy seas that hovered about her, even on days it didn’t rain.

And girls like Lily, well they just smelled nice, didn’t they? She made him think of the first warmer days in spring and those little violets that sweetened the breezes.

He never noticed it on the train, too excited and then too annoyed to smell anything. It wasn’t until much, much later that he realized his housemates each had their own distinctive scent that grew stronger when they cast. Most of them he didn’t have names for until he’d had more experience in the world.

Some of them made him sneeze terribly, like Gareth Abernathy. Looking back, he felt a bit bad that Gareth had to be moved to a different dormitory, but it was either that or Severus moving. Lucius and the other prefects came out of that dorm grim-faced. They never told him what the boys said they’d do if Severus was the one moved.

Even Lucius didn’t know about his…talent. Something told him to keep it to himself. It gave him an edge, once he learned to navigate all the scents coming at him in a day. He nearly always smelled James Potter (grassy, overlaid with something too, too sweet) before he saw him.

He should have known the first time he met the Dark Lord that he couldn’t be trusted. His magic smelled of decay and dust, like the inside of a tomb. It crawled into Severus’ sinuses and stayed there, a constant reminder. Why had he pledged himself to that? He smelled like the darkest of the dark books in the Malfoy library, the ones Lucius pulled him away from with a sharp,

“I catch you near those again, my lad, and I’ll wallop you myself.”

His mark smelled the same way, blooming horribly every time Voldemort found something pleasing. He found it a small mercy that he carried the mark only a year or so before…before soft spring and tiny violets were ripped forever from the world.

The decay kept returning, though. Faintly, faintly he’d smell it through the next decade. He hoped, but he knew one day it would return as strong as ever.

He knew the Potter child would play a part in whatever came the first day of class. To see him snickering with the latest Weasley after Draco’s hours-long diatribe on Potter refusing his hand…he wasn’t sure if the headache or the mere existence of another Potter set his teeth on edge more.

Potter…Potter’s magic smelled of the green new growth in a forest. The underlay of it, though, stopped Severus in his tracks. Frankincense and myrhh, the scent of one laid to rest. He knew. In that moment he knew it would be Potter to end the Dark Lord’s reign, whenever it came.

He never knew how he made it through the years of waiting, always on guard, decay floating at the very edge of his senses. The return…that was almost a relief.

Something tickled his nose. Sandalwood and leather and warm feathers. He shifted and…bedlinen? Would his earthly torment never end?

That last night in the Shack…he’d known. Known it would come one day. Some part of the universe must have cared, because he closed his eyes the last time smelling not decay but the clean, astringent wash of frankincense and myrhh.

-------------------

He breathed in, his chest caught on searing pain.

“Lie still, you ridiculous brat. Cissa’s been up three days keeping you from popping your cogs. If you destroy her hard work then we’ll certainly have words.”

Lucius. He’d know that scent and that supercilious drawl anywhere. And…sweet, clean lavender wafted over him.

Narcissa.

“She’s asleep, finally. You should also be asleep, as a hint.”

He managed an interrogative sort of noise.

Lucius sighed. “If you’re going to insist on being an obstreperous bratling, then I suppose I could sit with you for a while. You won’t be able to speak yet, so don’t even try.”

The familiar scold settled something within him. The bed dipped and Lucius sat carefully next to him. Cool fingers brushed his hair off his forehead.

“No fever, at least. If you get yourself into a froth she’ll put me six feet under, so we’ll do this calmly, please.”

It felt a bit as if he was a grubby firstie again.

“Would you like to know who found you?” Lucius asked.

Severus assented. Yes, he bloody well wanted to know who dragged him back to life (beyond Cissa, because of course she would).

Lucius’ low chuckle warmed him.

“Potter did. It always comes back to him, doesn’t it? He…I suppose I’d better tell you in sequence. You never liked a tale that hopped about in time.”

No, he did not.

“Did Potter see…what happened to you?”

Severus managed to shrug. He knew Potter saw the aftermath, but how much else was anyone’s guess. Knowing Potter, he saw all of it and had convinced himself it was all his own fault.

“I suppose it doesn’t matter in the end. We’re all free of it, you know? Whatever message you gave Potter, he did the thing properly and…came back, somehow. The Dark Lord’s reign is ended and somehow Potter convinced the Ministry that my family was coerced. How, I wonder, would he know I was given to the Dark Lord’s service as tribute by my father?”

The archly asked question had Severus freezing in place. Had Potter found…he had to have found what Severus left. He’d written it all down, everything he knew that no one else did, in the days leading up to the final battle. Trust the nosiest arsehole he’d ever had the misfortune of teaching to ferret it out.

“Ah, yes, apparently he also delivered quite the impassioned speech on the many ways the magical world has failed in the last several generations to the detachment of Aurors about to descend on my home. Thankfully the dossier information kept us from being arrested. I expect I’ll have some questions to answer.”

Severus agreed with that. But oh, what he’d give to see a memory of Potter doing that.

“Apparently, some time in the middle of the night, Potter remembered you and came charging up to the front doors, hammering on them and shouting. By the time we got down to open them, as we’d sent the elf on duty to bed, he’d been joined by the Weasley boy and that Granger chit who were unsuccessfully trying to calm him down.”

Severus snorted at that, but carefully.

“Quite,” Lucius agreed. “As with anything involving Potters, we unfortunately devolved into farce. Potter, who apparently never washed despite battle and being covered in what looked like most of your blood, having hysterics in the entry, shouting teenagers, such a wonderful scene. Granger kept trying to take over and the Weasley kept trying to shove them both behind him. Thankfully, Granger gave Cissa what she needed to know to mount a rescue and Draco got Potter calmed down.”

Severus raised an eyebrow.

“Oh, he got an elf to bring some of that revolting tea you like, sugared it ‘til the spoon practically stood up, and barked at Potter that he’d either drink it or be stunned. Weasley didn’t like that much, but seemed mollified when Potter did as he was told. I confess that I don’t particularly like the way Draco looked at Potter, but I expect I shall have to bear up under whatever Draco tells us.”

Severus snorted again.

“Cissa, Granger, and I went to get you while Draco and Weasley handled Potter. You…Severus, if you ever do anything like that again I will kill you myself. You looked dreadful and it took all Cissa’s skill to drag you back from the brink. Your robes are a loss, I’m afraid. Our laundry elf burst into tears when asked if they could be saved.”

Trust Lucius to focus on something like robes.

“Then we spent the last three days not being arrested and keeping you from succumbing to your injuries. I think Draco has Potter ensconced somewhere. I believe I heard an argument with Weasley and Granger over that. Something about clearly no one else is taking care of him and he’ll let them know when they can visit.” Lucius sighed. “He’s like his mother.”

And, Severus thought, his father, who looked at a ragamuffin firstie and decided that clearly that child was his.

“I don’t want to hear one word from you.” Lucius tapped Severus gently on the nose, a fond smile softening his features. “You need sleep.”

He wanted to protest, to ask for the memory of Potter, covered in gore and having hysterics in the Hall, but he knew a futile gambit when he thought of one. Lucius could be as unbending as Merlin’s staff. He sighed.

“Yes, I know. If you behave for Cissa, we’ll share our memories.”

That would have to do. Severus let himself relax slowly, let the sandalwood and lavender of Lucius and Narcissa wash over him.

Home. They’d brought him home.

[caer-gai]

Gareth grieves, written for my writing class last semester but I just found it again.

Gareth was so out of it he didn’t even hear Kay’s approach until the senechal was beside him.

“Sir Gareth,” the formality in Kay’s tone wavered with an undercurrent of concern Gareth had long since trained himself to pick up on.

“I’ll be there in a moment.”

Kay sighed. Gareth waited for him to leave. He didn’t.

“I understand it will be hard for you to go in there, after everything.”

“I have a duty.”

Gareth didn’t mention his other duty, as a brother, to stay here with Aggravain until the funeral pyre was lit. To avenge his brother’s death. To honor someone he loved but couldn’t support, couldn’t believe in, couldn’t praise. He’d be expected to say nice things at the funeral, and the more he thought the less he could come up with and the guiltier he felt about it.

The warm weight of a cloak was draped over his shoulders. Gareth didn’t have the heart to look up and see more of that carefully concealed concern.

“If it would be better for you, you would be welcome at our table tonight,” Kay offered carefully. Gareth nodded his acknowledgement. He couldn’t accept of course. Why would he even want to?

The food would be cold. It wouldn’t be artfully arranged, just a mix of whatever they had left. The ale (never wine) would be weak and nothing would be fit for a Prince. It wouldn’t be a place for him. (It was the only place he felt real.)

Gareth stayed in the church a long while after. He felt he should hold Aggravain’s hand, should offer his older brother some comfort in all of this. The hand was cold and stiff, and it wasn’t Aggravain, not anymore, and that made Gareth cry again.

Nearing midnight he heard the feast breaking up. Even after such a solemn occasion many were drunk, and many of the drunk were loud. One voice in particular rose above the others as it approached the chapel.

Gareth let go of Aggravain- of the corpse's hand and stood, drawing Kay’s cloak around him. He listened carefully, and was able to make out quiet responses at the pauses in between his eldest brother’s ranting.

Just Gawain and Gaheris then. Probably for the better, Gareth didn’t think he could face Mordred right now. The door slammed open and Gareth flinched before drawing himself to his full height and forcing his face to go blank.

He didn’t meet his brothers’ eyes as they stumbled in, or when they froze at the sight of him. The silence drew on to the point of discomfort, though no weapons were drawn yet.

“Your Majesties,” Gareth dipped his head in quick greeting. If he could stick to they’re titles he could ignore the chasm that widened between him and his brothers, “I was just leaving.”

Gareth almost made it out the door. Almost. But then Gawian caught his arm in a surprisingly vice-like grip. Gareth knew better than to struggle. Even at night, drunk and swaying, Gawain was stronger than him.

“Gareth,” Gawain whispered. More a strangled prayer than any kind of enraged hiss. Gareth risked a glance at his brother- his king’s- face. Gawain isn’t angry, he’s grieving. There was a spark of hope in his eyes that had Gareth folding right into a hug. Gawain clutched him close, like something precious. Gareth hugs back.

He catches Gaheris watching from the threshold. He doesn’t say anything, with his voice or his face, but Gareth knows his brother is breaking. So Gareth holds out a hand and puts on a small smile, and waits.

Soon all three of them are tangled together in an odd mess of limbs. Gareth closed his eyes and tried to pretend it could all be okay, that they would ever be whole again.

That he would ever be whole again.

----

By the time Gareth stumbles down to the kitchens, red-eyed and numb, the servants have finished dining. The few who are still there cleaning up watch him with sorry eyes. Several come forward to give their condolences. There’s enough food and ale left for him, and Lucan sits with him while he eats, keeping the conversation light. The food is cold and the ale is worse than Gawain’s breath, but it tastes like home.

Gareth finds Kay scrubbing out the huge pots they use for stew, and tries to give the cloak back. Kay waves him off and tells him to keep it.

A week later Gareth is buried in it.

[fan-of-mulligan]

FOM BLOG: MY RELEASE / RETAIN LIST AT THE END OF THE 2024 / 2025 SEASON, AS GILLINGHAM PREPARE FOR THE 2025 / 2026 SEASON IN LEAGUE TWO

On Saturday The 3rd Of May 2025, Gillingham won 1-0 away from home against Port Vale to make sure that Gillingham end the season unbeaten under Gareth Ainsworth’s tenure as Gillingham Manager heading into the off season, And Port Vale were already celebrating automatic promotion into League One prior to kick off, but for Gillingham, this result is the final result of a very disappointing season, and a season that began with so much hope and optimism under Mark Bonner, then, after a terrible 3-0 home defeat against Bromley at Priestfield Stadium In January, Mark Bonner was sacked as Gillingham Manager, and The Vastly Experienced John Coleman was brought in to steady the ship, and whilst there was more effort from the players, more determination, and John Coleman made sure that Gillingham had moved away from the relegation battle in League Two, John Coleman won just two of his fourteen league matches in-charge as Gillingham Manager, and there was plenty of debate about whether John Coleman could turn Gillingham into a much better side and a more competitive side in League Two for the 2025 / 2026 season.

But Brad Galinson put A Club Statement On The Official Website mentioning that the football club needed to pause, take stock, review everything, and assess there plans moving forwards, and the appointment of John Coleman just gave Gillingham time to look at everything at the football club over a few months before paying the compensation fee required to bring Gareth Ainsworth from Shrewsbury Town to Gillingham for the last nine matches of the 2024 / 2025 season, and that decision is one that many Gillingham Supporters agreed with, because by bringing in Gareth Ainsworth now, it meant that Gareth Ainsworth has had nine games to look at every player in the first team squad both in first team matches and on the training ground, and Gareth Ainsworth can also speak with Andy Hessenthaler and Ronnie Jepson when it comes to player recruitment and the types of players that Gareth Ainsworth will want to add to the squad in the summer to make sure that Gillingham are much stronger and challenging for promotion in the 2025 / 2026 season.

And Gillingham have won three and drawn six of the nine league matches that Gareth Ainsworth has managed, Gillingham have scored in every league game under Gareth Ainsworth, and we have seen improvement in performances recently, Elliott Nevitt and Joe Gbode have both scored twice under Gareth Ainsworth’s tenure as Gillingham Manager, Bradley Dack scored a stoppage time winner against MK Dons, Remeao Hutton scored a fantastic goal away against Salford City, and two wins and two draws from Gareth Ainsworth’s first four home league games in-charge as Gillingham Manager is a strong building block to build from, and the supporters are certainly backing Gareth Ainsworth, because the atmosphere in the closing stages and after Gillingham’s 1-0 home win against AFC Wimbledon was very impressive, with a rendition of - Gareth Ainsworth’s Barmy Army - being sung around Priestfield Stadium, and there is a lot of optimism that Gillingham will be better and a much stronger side for the 2025 / 2026 season.

Look, three manager’s in one season is dreadful and unacceptable, and Gillingham being seventeenth in League Two has seen Gillingham vastly under-achieve our season’s expectations of promotion at the start of the season, at the very least, we thought Gillingham would be in the playoff position’s come the end of the season, but to be twenty third out of twenty fourth when it comes to lowest goal-scorers see’s Gillingham Supporters yet again asking the question, why are Gillingham among the lowest goal-scorers for yet another season ??? - For context, relegated Morecambe are the only side in League Two who have scored less goals then Gillingham in League Two this season.

Below are my thoughts on every player and which players I would keep, and which players I think Gillingham should release, which players currently contracted at the football club who I think Gillingham will keep, which players currently under contract, who I think Gillingham will sale and release, and discussions on loan players and whether Gillingham will sign the loan players again next season, or, are happy to send the loan players back to there parent clubs, And I will also be including in this blog, how Gillingham’s First Team Squad will look with the twenty two over twenty one rule, which is a rule that all clubs in League One and League Two must follow when it comes to submitting there first team squad’s.

So here is my release / retain list at Gillingham Football Club as we look to strengthen the squad for a push for promotion in League Two for The 2025 / 2026 Season………

FIRST TEAM 

GOALKEEPERS:

JAKE TURNER - SELL -  Jake Turner is currently out on loan at Dagenham & Redbridge in The National League and Jake Turner has only made nine appearances for Gillingham Football Club this season, now that was mostly down to the fact that Jake Turner picked up a nasty ankle injury which meant that Gillingham had to sign Fulham Goalkeeper Luca Ashby-Hammond on loan, but also, Jake Turner was on the bench as substitute goalkeeper to Glenn Morris, and Glenn Morris has been named as Gillingham Player Of The Season for the second time in three season’s, and with Gillingham likely to strengthen the goalkeeper department in the summer, I think the likelihood of another goalkeeper signing for Gillingham will push Jake Turner further down the pecking order.

If there was a team in the lower half of League Two looking to sign Jake Turner as there number one goalkeeper for the 2025 / 2026 season, then Jake Turner will do more then a capable job as a number one goalkeeper for a side who are looking to maintain there Football League Status, or finish in mid-table in League Two, But Gillingham’s aim’s next season are promotion into League One, and therefore, Gillingham will need to sign a goalkeeper that matches those ambitions, and the best example I can give was when Stuart Nelson signed for Gillingham and Gillingham were promoted as League Two Champions In The 2012 / 2013 Season, that is the calibre of goalkeeper Gillingham need to sign in the summer, and whilst Jake Turner is a solid goalkeeper, he isn’t a number one goalkeeper who is going to lead Gillingham to promotion, and Gillingham will need to sign a quality established goalkeeper to be our first choice goalkeeper for The 2025 / 2026 Season.

GLENN MORRIS - KEEP - Glenn Morris has been named Gillingham’s Player Of The Season for the second time in three season’s, and Glenn Morris has put in some very noticeable performances in goal for Gillingham, the three saves against Walsall to help Gillingham keep a clean sheet in a 0-0 draw, a fantastic save to prevent Stephen Wearne from scoring a late winner for Carlisle United as Gillingham drew 0-0 at Brunton Park, an excellent save to prevent Ben Woods from scoring for Accrington Stanley as Gillingham drew 1-1 away against Accrington Stanley, and you can name plenty of other saves that Glenn Morris has made throughout the season for The Gills.

And Glenn Morris has kept 33 clean sheets in 105 appearances for Gillingham, and considering that Gillingham have mostly been at the wrong end of The League Two Table since Glenn Morris has played for Gillingham in his second spell at the football club, that is a remarkable goalkeeping record, and Glenn Morris has also broken Andy Hessenthaler’s record as the oldest ever Gillingham Player and I don’t see that record being beaten, but Glenn Morris will be 41 turning 42 during the 2025 / 2026 season, and I would be happy to see Glenn Morris offered a new contract at Gillingham Football Club, but I think Glenn Morris needs to be the experienced understudy goalkeeper to the established goalkeeper signing I have mentioned earlier when I said Jake Turner will leave the football club, but I would be more then happy to see Glenn Morris stay at Gillingham Football Club as our back up goalkeeper for next season.

TAITE HOLTAM - KEEP BUT SEND OUT ON LOAN - Taite Holtam has gone out on loan to Herne Bay and Ashford United this season to experience playing competitive first team football before being initially recalled by Gillingham to be the substitute goalkeeper on the bench when Jake Turner signed for Dagenham & Redbridge on loan, And Taite Holtam got his opportunity to play for Gillingham’s First Team when Gillingham won 1-0 at home against MK Dons, and as far as debut’s go, keeping a clean sheet on your professional football league debut is a debut that Taite Holtam will never forget.

And Taite Holtam got the opportunity to make a second appearance for Gillingham, this time away against Cheltenham Town at Whaddon Road, where Taite Holtam was severely tested in goal for Gillingham, You can perhaps make the suggestion that Taite Holtam should have done better with Sam Stubbs header for the equaliser for Cheltenham Town, although, I think the marking from the free kick should have been better to prevent Cheltenham Town from getting a header on target in the first place, but also, there was a fantastic save from Taite Holtam to prevent Ethan Williams’s deflected volley from going into the back of the net, and since then, Taite Holtam has found himself on the bench as understudy goalkeeper to Glenn Morris, and with my suggestion of Gillingham signing a new number one goalkeeper for The 2025 / 2026 Season, I think Taite Holtam needs to go out on loan on a season long loan to A Conference South Side to play competitive first team football at a decent standard in non league football, after all, look at Sam Gale and the development he had playing for Chelmsford City, I think Taite Holtam can do with a loan like that, go to A Conference South Side and develop playing competitive first team football for an entire season in the sixth tier of English Football.

DEFENDERS: 

REMEAO HUTTON - KEEP - Remeao Hutton has made 47 appearances for Gillingham this season, only one goal scored, but it was a fantastic goal away against Salford City with that goal from Remeao Hutton making sure that Gillingham drew 2-2 away against Salford City, and looking at some of the stats that really do stand out for Remeao Hutton this season, 5.88 expected assist’s, 907 successful passes, 107 accurate long passes, 56 chances created and 56 successful crosses, but all of these stats are high and very good for attacking stats, defensively, the defensive stats are low with 56% tackles won and 44.9% duels won being two stats that stand out negatively for Remeao Hutton.

Which is why I think Remeao Hutton is more effective and better suited to starting for Gillingham at Right Wing Back, where Remeao Hutton has the protection of a third centre back behind him and Remeao Hutton can be more of a threat in the opposition’s final third, And whilst Remeao Hutton only has two assist’s for Gillingham this season, one of which was a truly fantastic pass to set up Elliott Nevitt for the winning goal away against Notts County at Meadow Lane, I do think if Gillingham were to strengthen in the final third of the pitch and Gillingham improve the number of goals that we can score for The 2025 / 2026 Season, then Remeao Hutton will get more assist’s for Gillingham, but what we need to see more of from Remeao Hutton is better crossing, because that first time volleyed cross against Swindon Town was excellent, there the type’s of crosses that we want to see Remeao Hutton create more of, and not the floated high and hanging crosses which goalkeepers can save with ease.

MAX CLARK - KEEP - If you asked me this question back in December and if I would have kept or released Max Clark, I would have said release, But Max Clark’s performances for Gillingham Football Club have been very impressive over the past few months and Max Clark has added goals to his game, with the stoppage time equaliser away against Accrington Stanley, And Max Clark scored from the penalty spot in back to back matches against Harrogate Town and Colchester United, With Gareth Ainsworth making the comparison between Max Clark and Wycombe Wanderers Left Back Joe Jacobson, Because Joe Jacobson used to take penalties for Wycombe Wanderers when Gareth Ainsworth was Wycombe Wanderers Manager.

And looking at the stats for Max Clark this season, Max Clark has won 105 tackles this season, which is 2.87 per game, Ground Duels Won is 241, which is 6.58 per game, Ground Duels is 428 which is 11.68 per game, Crossing stats are 187, which works out at 5.10 per game and Max Clark’s defensive stats stand out more then his offensive stats, even though Max Clark has improved both goals and assist stats since Gareth Ainsworth has been appointed as Gillingham Manager.

But if Gillingham stick with the back five and two wing back’s, then Gillingham need to sign someone A Left Wing Back with pace so that Gillingham have got someone who can go past a player down the left side of the pitch, and I do wonder if Gillingham will look to sign someone on loan to make sure that there is cover and competition at Left Back and Left Wing Back for next season, because Gillingham haven’t had cover or competition for Left Back this season, and it is a position that needs strengthening, because one of the attributes that Max Clark hasn’t got is pace to play comfortably at Left Wing Back, But defensively, Max Clark’s stats are very good, and he has aded more goals to his game in the second half of the season for Gillingham, but we might need someone on the bench who can be an attacking option who can come on, if Gillingham need someone to be an impact substitute in The Left Wing Back Position, But I would keep Max Clark as Gillingham’s First Choice Left Wing Back For Next Season.

CONOR MASTERSON - LIKELY TO LEAVE - This is perhaps the first big departure I am mentioning in My Release / Retain List, But I just cannot see Conor Masterson staying at Gillingham Football Club, I remember saying to another Gillingham Supporter when Gillingham won against Dartford in pre-season at Princes Park that Gillingham probably needed to get promoted into League One to stand any chance of keeping Conor Masterson at the football club, and with Gillingham playing League Two Football again next season, I just think it is inevitable that Conor Masterson will be signing for a club in League One in the summer, there has been a lot of comments and suggestions that Conor Masterson will sign for Cambridge United because Neil Harris is Cambridge United Manager, and that is a contributing factor, but I think Conor Masterson will want to be playing in League One, and there will be an opportunity for Conor Masterson to go to a new club for a new start, a fresh challenge, and there are a few clubs in League One who can offer big wages to sign Conor Masterson, not to mention offering guaranteed League One Football, and that is something Gillingham cannot offer, and at twenty six years old, this is a big summer coming up for Conor Masterson, and he will have the chance to move to a club in League One on very good wages.

Looking at some of the impressive stats for Conor Masterson for Gillingham this season, 62 Aerial Duels Won, which averages out at 2.95 per game, one goal scored, which was the winning goal against Bradford City, But the stat that stands out is 148 clearances which works out at 7.04 per game, Conor Masterson is very good at getting the ball clear and away from Gillingham’s Goal, and Conor Masterson has been playing as the central centre back in the back three for Gillingham recently, But as much as we would all like to see Conor Masterson remain at Gillingham Football Club, I can see Conor Masterson signing for a club in League One, and there are a couple of defender’s who I can see Gillingham signing to strengthen our defensive options in the summer, but I will mention those possible signings in another blog where I discuss possible incoming signings for Gillingham Football Club for The 2025 / 2026 Season.

MAX EHMER - RELEASE - On The 25th Of April, Gillingham Football Club released a statement mentioning that Max Ehmer will be leaving Gillingham Football Club at the end of the season and Max Ehmer will be on the pitch before kick off before Gillingham’s 1-1 Home Draw Against Swindon Town, so that Gillingham Supporters can show there appreciation towards Max Ehmer, and it was great to see Max Ehmer get a decent send off before kick off, and Max Ehmer making 439 appearances for Gillingham Football Club is very impressive, and we may not see a player make that number of appearances for Gillingham Football Club for a very long time, or maybe we never see a player make that number of appearances for Gillingham ever again, given the number of changes that happen to first team squad’s in summer and winter transfer window’s, it is very rare for a player to remain at one football club for so long.

Max Ehmer is one player who hasn’t played for Gillingham Football Club since Gareth Ainsworth has been appointed as Gillingham Manager, and Max Ehmer not in the squad has seen speculation increase with supporters wondering where is Max Ehmer and why isn’t he playing for Gillingham Football Club, and maybe that ties into my earlier suggestion that there are players that Gareth Ainsworth is looking to sign to strengthen our defensive options for next season, and Max Ehmer isn’t part of those plans moving forwards, I have also heard strong rumours and suggestions that Max Ehmer has already signed a pre-contract agreement with Bromley and Max Ehmer will sign for Bromley when his contract expires at Gillingham Football Club, and if the move  were to happen, then the move to Bromley makes sense geographically, Max Ehmer will be signing for another club in League Two in Bromley and Bromley have got players with experience in there side like Omar Sowunmi, Carl Jenkinson, Byron Webster, Ben Thompson and Michael Cheek, and Max Ehmer is only going to add to that experience at Hayes Lane - Should Max Ehmer sign for Bromley in the summer of course.

When you look at the number of appearances Max Ehmer has made at Gillingham Football Club, there have been very few times where Ehmer has been unavailable for selection due to injury and Max Ehmer clearly looks after himself well on the training ground, and it is the number of appearances, the consistency in being available for selection which will see a number of football clubs keen to sign Max Ehmer in the summer, if your signing an experienced centre back who is playing constantly week in, week out, you want that in your defence, and I remember mentioning when Gillingham had that large injury list at the start of the season that Max Ehmer clearly looks after himself on the training ground to be consistently available for selection on a week in, week out basis, and whilst I agree with the decision that Max Ehmer leaving Gillingham Football Club is the right decision for both the football club and the player, it is going to be very strange next season seeing someone else wearing the number five shirt - and I genuinely wish Max Ehmer all the very best for the future.

ANDY SMITH - BACK TO HULL CITY - Out of all the loan signings, I would say that Andy Smith has probably been the best of the loan signings to play for Gillingham Football Club in the second half of the season, Andy Smith made his debut for Gillingham away at Barrow in a dreadful 3-0 away defeat and Andy Smith was probably our best performing player that day, then John Coleman switched to a 3-5-2 with Andy Smith starting at Right Centre Back in a back three where Andy Smith was playing week in, week out for Gillingham Football Club up until the 1-1 draw at home against Colchester United, because since then, Andy Smith has missed the last seven league games due to injury.

I double checked Andy Smith’s contract status at Hull City, and Andy Smith has another year left on his current contract and Hull City have the option to trigger a one year contract extension, and if Andy Smith were to go out on loan again next season, chances are that Andy Smith will be signing for a club in League One on loan, and I am thinking clubs like Doncaster Rovers and Rotherham United, both football clubs are in Yorkshire and close to Hull City geographically, and both football clubs will be in League One next season, and surely, Hull City will want to see what Andy Smith can do playing in League One next season as well.

Andy Smith has also spoken about The Hull City connection between himself, Max Clark and Robbie McKenzie and how Andy Smith has been learning a lot from Max Clark and Robbie McKenzie, and Andy Smith is a good player, and because of this, I think Andy Smith will sign for A League One Club on loan before the start of the 2025 / 2026 season.

SHADRACH OGIE - KEEP - Shadrach Ogie has made thirty nine appearances for Gillingham Football Club throughout The 2024 / 2025 Season, and it has been a season where Shadrach Ogie has found himself as fifth choice centre back under John Coleman behind Andy Smith, Sam Gale, Conor Masterson and Max Ehmer, before Shadrach Ogie got the chance to return to the starting line up under Gareth Ainsworth.

And Shadrach Ogie gives Gillingham that balance by being a left footed centre back and is comfortable playing as a Left Centre Back in a back three, and there has been times where Shadrach Ogie has played as A Left Back in a back four, and his pace just allows Ogie to venture further forwards in possession of the ball and get high and wide up the pitch in possession of the ball.

And looking at some of Shadrach Ogie’s stats for The 2024 / 2025 season, Ogie has had 19 successful dribbles, 46 fouls won, 31 tackles won, 186 Duels Won, 67.5% Aerial Duels Won, but it is the 113 recoveries which is a stat that really does stand out, because Shadrach Ogie has the pace to get back and intercept the ball or make crucial clearances, and as A Left Centre Back in a back three, Shadrach Ogie has the ability to venture further forwards in possession of the ball, and as we saw against Swindon Town Last Saturday, Shadrach Ogie isn’t afraid to shoot from distance and Connor Ripley had to make an uncomfortable save in goal for Swindon Town, and that isn’t the first time that we have seen Shadrach Ogie go for goal from distance with a powerful shot on target, and Shadrach Ogie is still under contract at Gillingham Football Club for next season, and I can see Shadrach Ogie still being A Gillingham Player for the start of The 2025 / 2026 Season.

SAM GALE - KEEP - Sam Gale’s performances for Gillingham Football Club in the second half of The 2024 / 2025 Season have been remarkable, and Sam Gale has gone from a young player who has had loan spells at Sheppey United and Chelmsford City, to a player who is a regular starter for Gillingham Football Club, and one thing that really has stood out, is how articulate and well spoken Sam Gale is whenever he has been interviewed by the local press for the pre-match press conference before a game, and Sam Gale has shown a level of maturity that you expect to see from a player who is 27-28 years old with 300 appearances in The Football League to there name, not from a young player who has broken into the first team and started for Gillingham on a regular basis in the second half of The 2024 / 2025 Season.

And looking at some of the stats that particularly stand out for Sam Gale, successful dribbles is 13, interceptions is 40, possession won in the final third is 4, Dribble Success is 65%, and Touches On The Ball In The Opposition Penalty Area is 27, and when your looking at stats like successful dribbles, dribble success, and possession won in the final third, Sam Gale is better suited playing as A Right Centre Back In A Back Three, then playing as a centre back in a back four, Sam Gale isn’t a old school centre back in the mould of Adam Barrett, Leon Legge, or Chris Hope who just header and kick the ball clear as an defenders defender centre back, Sam Gale likes to get on the ball and venture further forwards in possession of the ball.

And In Sam Gale And Shadrach Ogie, Gillingham have got two defenders who can start in The Right Centre Back And Left Centre Back Position’s On The Pitch, It’s the central centre back position where I can see Gillingham looking to sign someone who walks into the starting eleven, and there might be one signing to be the back up defensive option as well, But Sam Gale’s form in the second half of the season truly has been remarkable, and I am so pleased to see Sam Gale sign a contract extension until the summer of 2027, with Gillingham having the option to trigger a one year contract extension until the summer of 2028, and there has already been suggestions from a few Gillingham Supporters that Gillingham should tie Sam Gale down to a long term contract again in the summer, because there will be clubs in the higher division’s very interested in signing Sam Gale, especially if this level of performance and development can be replicated over the next twelve months.

ALEX GILES - RELEASE - Alex Giles made three appearances for Gillingham this season, two starting appearances for Gillingham In The Football League Trophy against Peterborough United and Crystal Palace’s U21’s, and a starting appearance for Gillingham at Right Back against Swansea City In The League Cup First Round At The Liberty Stadium, Where Alex Giles had a really tough time up against Ronald for Swansea City, and the tricky winger would cause the best full back’s in The Championship problems with his pace and trickery.

Alex Giles went out on loan to Aveley FC In The Conference South to experience playing competitive first team football, and The 20 Year Old Centre Back needs to be playing competitive first team football on a week in, week out basis, and the opportunities to do that at Gillingham are limited, but with Alex Giles making appearances for Gillingham’s First Team In The 2024 / 2025 Season, there will be plenty of interest in the young centre back in the non league game.

HARRY WEBSTER - KEEP BUT SEND OUT ON LOAN - Harry Webster made two starting appearances for Gillingham Football Club In The Football League Trophy Against Peterborough United and Crystal Palace’s U21’s, and against Peterborough United, Harry Webster’s driven effort towards goal was saved by Peterborough United Goalkeeper Nicholas Bilokapic.

But it was The 1-0 Home Win Against Salford City where Harry Webster made his Football League Debut which was a performance which really did stand out and impressed Gillingham Supporters on the day, because Harry Webster’s Performance that day rightfully was a performance which saw Harry Webster win The Gillingham Man Of The Match Award, and let’s not forget that Harry Webster was marking Kelly N’Mai for Salford City who is a very skilful and pacey footballer, and that was a real stern test for any defender, let along someone making there debut in The Football League, Harry Webster then started for Gillingham in Gillingham’s 1-0 Away Win Against MK Dons, where Gillingham were really up against it, and as soon as Robbie McKenzie scored to give Gillingham the lead, Remeao Hutton came on for Harry Webster to provide that bit of experience.

And Harry Webster has gone out on loan to Chatham Town for the second half of the season, and like what I have suggested with Taite Holtam, Harry Webster needs to go out on loan on a season long loan to A Conference South Side to play competitive first team football at a decent standard in non league football, I believe when it comes to The Conference National And Conference South, these two division’s have different loan rule’s, so if Gillingham want a young player to be playing regular football at this high level of the non league pyramid, it would be good to agree a season long loan, and one of Dartford or Dover Athletic could be promoted to The Conference South, and a full season out on loan to one of those club’s would be a decent move for Harry Webster.

MIDFIELDERS:

ETHAN COLEMAN - KEEP - It’s been an injury disruptive season for Ethan Coleman this season, 23 appearances compared to the 49 appearances Ethan Coleman played last season, and it was during The 2023 / 2024 Season where Ethan Coleman was named The Players Player Of The Season, and it was off the back of that award and such an impressive season last season that saw Gillingham tie Ethan Coleman down to a new contract until the summer of 2027.

But whilst this season has been injury disruptive, there are some stats that stand out for Ethan Coleman this season, 52 Accurate Long Ball’s, Long Ball Accuracy 54.7%, Duels Won, 55.8%, Aerial Duels Won 63%, Aerial Duels Won % 63.0%, Tackles 36 which averages out to 2.45 per game, Interceptions, 17, which averages out to 1.16 per game, but the next three stats are the three stats which are really impressive and stand out, Ground Duels Is 205 and Averages Out At An Impressive 13.96 Per Game, Ground Duels Won is 120 and averages out at 8.17 per game, and Aerial Duels Won is 61 and averages out at 4.15 per game.

But all these stats like aerial duels won, interceptions, ground duels won and tackles are all stats regarding Ethan Coleman winning the ball and mostly defensive stats, the stats for chances created, key passes, and expected assist’s are low, and one of the criticism’s aimed in Ethan Coleman’s direction is that he passes the ball sideways and backwards and doesn’t help Gillingham when we need to chase a game from a losing position to secure a draw, or turn a draw into a win, but if Gillingham are winning and we can bring on Ethan Coleman to defend a winning position for Gillingham, then Ethan Coleman can do that job exceptionally well, I do think this injury disruptive season has been difficult for Ethan Coleman after playing so well for Gillingham last season, and with Ethan Coleman tied down to a contract extension, and getting substitute appearances for Gillingham against Swindon Town and Port Vale, Gareth Ainsworth can see what Ethan Coleman can contribute to his Gillingham Side For The 2025 / 2026 Season.

JACK NOLAN - SELL - When Gillingham signed Jack Nolan from Accrington Stanley for a undisclosed fee a year ago, every Gillingham Supporter was excited with what Jack Nolan can do for Gillingham Football Club, Because Gillingham had signed a player who had scored seventeen goals and got thirteen assist’s in a struggling Accrington Stanley Side in League Two, and with Jack Nolan being 23 years old, there was optimism that Jack Nolan can fire Gillingham Football Club into League One, and Nolan could play a pivotal role in helping Gillingham to get promoted this season, And Jack Nolan was one of the four main signings along with Elliott Nevitt, Aaron Role and Armani Little in what was described as phase one of the summer transfer window.

But Gillingham have under-achieved on our season’s expectations, finishing seventeenth In League Two, And Jack Nolan has struggled for Gillingham Football Club this season, Scoring just one goal and creating three assist’s for a player who had thirty one goal contributions for Accrington Stanley the previous season, and in the final nine matches that Gareth Ainsworth has managed as Gillingham Manager, Jack Nolan has made two appearances, one was a substitute appearance away against Chesterfield, and the second appearance was a starting appearance away against Cheltenham Town, where Jack Nolan did create the assist for Jimmy-Jay Morgan’s goal to give Gillingham an early lead away at Whaddon Road, But Jack Nolan has had limited game-time at Gillingham Football Club both under John Coleman and Gareth Ainsworth, because Jack Nolan has made just nine appearances for Gillingham Football Club since the end of January, four starting and five substitute appearance’s.

And it is such a shame that this move hasn’t worked, because on the opening day of the season, Gillingham won 4-1 at home against Carlisle United, Jack Nolan scored that fantastic individual goal, and we’re thinking - here we go, and this is going to be a great season - but it has been a disappointing season on the pitch for Gillingham Football Club, and a disappointing season on the pitch for Jack Nolan as well, But I think there will be several clubs who are willing to pay Gillingham a transfer fee to sign Jack Nolan in the summer, there will be club’s looking at the fact that Jack Nolan is still only 23 years old and at the right club that play to Jack Nolan’s strength’s, then they will get the player at Accrington Stanley who was scoring and assisting goals, and it is such a shame that this move hasn’t worked for Jack Nolan at Gillingham Football Club, and that sometimes happens for a number of different factor’s, But I can see several clubs looking to sign Jack Nolan in the summer, and the money Gillingham will gain from selling Jack Nolan can be reinvested back into strengthening the first team squad in the summer.

ARMANI LITTLE - KEEP - Armani Little has made thirty six appearances for Gillingham Football Club This Season, scoring twice with two goals scored against Tranmere Rovers and Accrington Stanley respectively, and in the early part of the season, it was a midfield combination of Robbie McKenzie and Armani Little which was working really well for Gillingham In Midfield, and most supporters saw that midfield two as our first choice central two midfielder’s in the centre of Gillingham’s Midfield, and both midfielder’s have also worn The Captain’s Armband For Gillingham this season as well.

As far as Armani Little’s stats for Gillingham go this season, There are quite a few stats that really do stand out, Passes Stats is 1111 which works out at an incredible 47.21 passes per game, Successful Passes is 1064/ 1411, Key Passing Stats is 28, which is 0.94 per game, 89 Crosses, which works out at 2.98 crosses per match, Tackles 72, which works out at 2.41 per game, Ground Duels is 372, which works out at 12.45, Ground Duels Won is 180 and works out at 6.02 per game, and looking further into Armani Little’s stats, there are additional stats like Successful Passes, 1087, Accurate Long Balls, 125, Tackles Won 45, Duels Won, 181, and 170 Recoveries.

And when focusing on those stats, it’s passing stats, key passing stats, tackles, duel’s won and recoveries, I like to think that if Gillingham can address our inability to score goals by strengthening our attacking options for The 2025 / 2026 Season, then you can see Armani Little adding more goals and assist’s to his game for next season, because this season, Armani Little has scored two goals assisted two goals, I like to think Armani Little can triple those number’s to six goals and six assist’s for Gillingham Football Club next season, good player, good midfielder, but one thing Gillingham can do with is signing one or two captain’s in the summer to add that leadership ability in the squad, because Armani Little can then focus on performances on the pitch, rather then having The Captain’s Armband, I think there might be signings made in the summer who are signed to be that experienced leader who will wear the armband, and that is no way denigrating or being offensive to Armani Little, But I think not having the armband means that Armani Little can concentrate on being the box to box midfielder who Gillingham signed in the summer, and with better addition’s made in the final third of the pitch in the summer, we can expect to see more goals and assist’s from Armani Little for next season.

JONNY WILLIAMS - KEEP - Jonny Williams made a great start to the season, scoring a fantastic goal for Gillingham in Gillingham’s 4-1 Home Win Against Carlisle United, and just like we thought here we go, this is going to be a great season for Gillingham Football Club, we also thought that this was going to be a great season for Jonny Williams, scored on the opening day of the season and we thought that we were going to see The Jonny Williams that we saw scoring and assisting goals for Swindon Town as Jonny Williams didn’t have the best of season’s for Gillingham Football Club In The 2023 / 2024 Season.

But just like this season hasn’t happened for Gillingham Football Club, it hasn’t happened for Jonny Williams either, only one goal and one assist for Jonny Williams this season, and Jonny Williams was strongly linked with a move to MK Dons In The January Transfer Window which failed to materialise, and Jonny Williams was mostly making late substitute appearances for Gillingham under John Coleman and the only starting appearance that Jonny Williams had made under both Mark Bonner and John Coleman’s management in 2025 was the 3-0 home defeat against Bromley which was Mark Bonner’s final game as Gillingham Manager, and of course, Jonny Williams had made starting appearances for Gillingham before that in 2024, but for all of John Coleman’s tenure, Jonny Williams was getting a few appearances here and there as a late substitute.

But Gareth Ainsworth has come in as Gillingham Manager, and in the nine league game’s that Gareth Ainsworth has managed, Jonny Williams has started five and made sub appearances in two, with Jonny Williams suspended for the final game of the season, and that performance in midfield from Jonny Williams against Colchester United was one of Jonny Williams best performances in A Gillingham Shirt and Jonny Williams was rightfully named Gillingham’s Man Of The Match on that night, and after that match, Jonny Williams mentioned it had been a frustrating season for him personally having been on the fringes of the first team under both Mark Bonner and John Coleman and Gareth Ainsworth has come in and thrown him into the first team, and there are a few players like Jonny Williams in the squad who perhaps have been on the fringes of the first team who Gareth Ainsworth likes, and Ainsworth has given these players opportunities and Jonny Williams is one such player who has rewarded Gareth Ainsworth’s faith in him by putting in the performances in midfield.

And looking at Jonny Williams stats for the season and some of the stats that really do stand out, 14 Key Passes which averages out to 1.32 per game, 36 Crosses, which average’s out to 3.38 per game, Fouled Against Is 24, which works out at 2.25 per game, Ground Duels Is 114, and works out at 10.71 per game, Ground Duels Won Is 54 and works out at 5.07 per game, Passing Accuracy Is 79.6%, Accurate Long Balls Is 21, And Long Ball Accuracy Is 52.5%, but there is one stat in particular that really does stand out, Jonny Williams has only played 969 Minutes For Gillingham Football Club throughout the entire season, for context and as a comparison, Robbie McKenzie has played 3257 minutes for Gillingham this season, you like to think that if Gareth Ainsworth see’s Jonny Williams as part of his plans for Gillingham in the 2025 / 2026 season, then all the stats for goals, assist’s, key passes, shots on target and successful passes will all increase, because Jonny Williams will be starting more matches, playing more minutes, and you like to think with the addition’s that Gillingham are likely to make to strengthen the squad in the final third of the pitch. that Jonny Williams is going to get more assist’s when creating chances for more clinical strikers to stick into the back of the net.

AARON ROWE - KEEP - I think Aaron Rowe falls into the same category as Jonny Williams, a highly rated player who has been under-used and under-utilised in what has been a difficult and disappointing season for both the football club and player, Because I have just spoken about the limited number of minutes that Jonny Williams has played for Gillingham Football Club throughout the 2024 / 2025 Season and Jonny Williams has only played 969 minutes for Gillingham, well, Aaron Rowe’s number’s are way less then that, and Aaron Rowe has only played 761 minutes for Gillingham Football Club throughout The 2024 / 2025 season, and obviously there has been some injuries which has seen Aaron Rowe unavailable for selection, but there have been times this season where Aaron Rowe has been available for selection, but not played for Gillingham Football Club.

And like Jonny Williams, Aaron Rowe has been given a new lease of life under Gareth Ainsworth’s Management, because Aaron Rowe has made five starting and two substitute appearances in seven of the nine matches that Gareth Ainsworth has managed as Gillingham Manager, before that, Aaron Rowe had made five starting and five substitute appearances under both Mark Bonner and John Coleman, and I know there have been some injury concern’s for Aaron Rowe, But Aaron Rowe has made the same number of starting appearances for Gillingham under Gareth Ainsworth then he has done compared to the starting appearances Rowe has made under Mark Bonner and John Coleman’s tenure’s as Gillingham Manager’s.

And that individual piece of brilliance for the winning goal against Port Vale was superb, great goal from Aaron Rowe, and Aaron Rowe was also Gillingham’s best player away against Chesterfield, he set up Elliott Nevitt for the opening goal of the game, and when Aaron Rowe was substituted for Jack Nolan, combined with Chesterfield throwing on all of there attacking players off the substitutes bench, Gillingham were dropping deeper and deeper, and in the end, Gillingham managed to held out for the point, But Aaron Rowe’s pace and trickery was causing Chesterfield a lot of problems that evening.

And looking at some of the stats from Aaron Rowe this season, Expected Assist’s Is 2.3, which works out at 0.30 per game, 8 Key Passes, Which averages out at 1.04 per game, 10 Crosses, which works out at 1.30 per game, but the next few stats are particularly impressive, 41 Dribbles, which works out at 5.33 per game, 13 Successful Dribbles, which works out at 13 per game, Ground Duels is 135 and works out at an incredible 17.56 per game, Ground Duels Won is 48 and works out at 6.24 per game, if your looking for negatives in stats, then Aaron Rowe’s passing stats are very low, but his dribbling stats are very high, and there is also something else to take into consideration when looking at these stats, these are stats from a total number of 761 minutes that Aaron Rowe has played for Gillingham Football Club this season, if Gareth Ainsworth see’s Aaron Rowe playing a more crucial role for Gillingham Football Club next season and is in the starting eleven on a more regular basis, then all the stats for dribbling, key passes, successful dribbles, goals and assist’s are going to increase, because Aaron Rowe has only started ten games for Gillingham this season, and he has got one goal and three assist’s, surely with more game time combined with playing alongside better attacking players will see Aaron Rowe contribute more goals and assist’s for Gillingham Football Club next season.

ROBBIE MCKENZIE - KEEP - I thought that our chances of keeping Robbie McKenzie at Gillingham Football Club were slim at best because there will be a lot of interest from other club’s interested in signing Robbie McKenzie, but Robbie McKenzie mentioned in an interview on Kent Online that he is keen to extend his stay at Gillingham Football Club and that apparently discussions are already under way between Robbie McKenzie and Gillingham Football Club about signing a new contract.

And Robbie McKenzie mentioned that he believe’s that the football club is heading in the right direction and he would be happy to stay at Gillingham, and that will be music to the ears of the vast majority of Gillingham Supporters who are hoping that Robbie McKenzie does sign an extended contract, even in the away end at Port Vale, supporters were singing for Robbie McKenzie to sign an extended contract at Gillingham Football Club, he is a popular player amongst the supporters, and that popularity is only going to increase when McKenzie is scoring a thirty yarder that hits the under-side of the crossbar before hitting the back of the net, and there is no surprise that Robbie McKenzie’s goal against Walsall was Gillingham’s Goal Of The Season, and Robbie McKenzie was also the main contender for The Player Of The Season Award, But Glenn Morris has been excellent in goal for Gillingham and fully deserved to win The Player Of The Season Award for the second time in three season’s.

And looking at the stats that stand out for Robbie McKenzie this season, goals is one that is impressive, because Robbie McKenzie has scored six goals for Gillingham this season, obviously the goal away against Walsall is the goal that stands out, but let’s not forget that Robbie McKenzie scored the winning goal’s for Gillingham against Chesterfield and MK Dons in 1-0 win’s,  and it was Robbie McKenzie’s goal that secured three crucial points for Gillingham in a must win game against Morecambe to make sure that Gillingham were not dragged closer to the relegation zone.

But looking at other stats besides goals, Aerial Duels Won Is 103, which averages out at 2.93 per game, Interceptions 49, which average’s out at 1.39 per game, Ground Duels Won Is 179, and works out at 5.09 per game, But the stats that have drastically increased for Robbie McKenzie is shooting and goal stats, Six Goals Scored, Expected Goals Is 3.52, xG on target (xGOT) is 2.19, Shots 50, Shots On Target Is 12, other stats worth paying attention to is Successful Passes 647, Successful Dribbles Is 15, Touches Is 1,538, Touches In The Opposition Penalty Area Is 65, Duels Won, 192, Duels won % 54.7%, Interceptions Is 44, and whilst these stats are a great reference point and great to pay attention to, we know that Robbie McKenzie is a fantastic footballer, and he has shown his capabilities to be an excellent midfielder, and we don’t want to see Robbie McKenzie go back to the day’s of being Mr Versatile who can play in a host of position’s on the pitch, it is great that Robbie McKenzie can do that if and when required to do so, but I think Gillingham Supporters, Gareth Ainsworth and probably Robbie McKenzie himself as well wants to see Robbie McKenzie play in midfield for Gillingham Football Club Next Season.

NELSON KHUMBENI - KEEP - Now I have already said Gillingham should keep Armani Little, Jonny Williams, Ethan Coleman and Robbie McKenzie, and with Nelson Khumbeni also staying, that’s five midfielder’s for the central midfielder position’s on the pitch, and you do need cover for injuries and suspension’s, and you need plenty of squad depth to account for those injuries and suspensions throughout the season, But you know how I have just mentioned above that we don’t want to see Robbie McKenzie going back to the day’s of being Mr Versatile and covering every position in defence and midfield and we want to see Robbie McKenzie line up in central midfield for Gillingham Football Club Next Season ??? - Well, is there a scenario where Nelson Khumbeni can be trained to be a utility player for Gillingham Football Club for next season, because after all, every club needs a player in there squad who understands that they are a utility player and knows the importance they have of being a player who can cover several position’s on the pitch in a squad role ???

Because Nelson Khumbeni has made four starting and six substitute appearances since signing for Gillingham Football Club in The January Transfer Window for an undisclosed fee, and Gareth Ainsworth has started Nelson Khumbeni once and brought him on as a substitute for the final game of the season away against Port Vale, but with Armani Little, Robbie McKenzie, Ethan Coleman and Jonny Williams at the football club, and I am saying Gillingham should keep the four of them, I think the best way for Gillingham to keep Nelson Khumbeni is for him to be a utility player, maybe someone who can cover for Shadrach Ogie and Sam Gale in the outside centre back position’s in a back three, someone who can play Right Wing Back or Left Wing Back, Because when Nelson Khumbeni signed for Gillingham in January, I remember Gab Sutton mentioning that Nelson Khumbeni has got good defensive stats, and is someone who could evolve into an athletic box to box player, and Nelson Khumbeni has got the physical attributes that he could provide cover for Sam Gale and Shadrach Ogie in the wider centre back position’s in a back three.

I also think that with a full pre-season under Gareth Ainsworth, and getting that additional time on the training ground, that we will see a better Nelson Khumbeni for next season, But I just cannot see Nelson Khumbeni starting ahead of Robbie McKenzie, Armani Little, Ethan Coleman and Jonny Williams, but a change in position, or being a versatile squad player, could see Nelson Khumbeni cover a few position’s on the pitch and be the player that Robbie McKenzie was when he signed for Gillingham initially, but rather then McKenzie dropping back into defence and moving all over the place, Nelson Khumbeni can fulfil that role at Gillingham Football Club.

JAYDEN CLARKE - RELEASE - Jayden Clarke was Gillingham’s Top Goal-Scorer For The 2024 / 2025 Season with seven goals, and in that regard, Jayden Clarke has made an huge improvement compared to the two goals that Jayden Clarke scored for Gillingham In The 2023 / 2024 Season, and even though Jayden Clarke has scored seven goals for Gillingham this season and Jayden Clarke made two starting and three substitute appearances for Gillingham under Gareth Ainsworth’s tenure as Gillingham Manager, I cannot see Jayden Clarke staying next season.

If Gareth Ainsworth wants to switch to a 4-3-3 formation, then there will be wingers available of higher quality and ability that Ainsworth will want to sign, and if Gareth Ainsworth sticks with the back five, then I just do not see how Jayden Clarke gets into the starting line up, I know Jayden Clarke has come on for Remeao Hutton on occasions to be an attacking Right Wing Back when Gillingham are chasing a game, But I think the addition’s that Gareth Ainsworth will make to the squad in the summer is going to push Jayden Clarke lower down the pecking order and game-time will be more limited next season.

And there are some stats that do stand out positively for Jayden Clarke, Expected Goals (xG) Is 4.26, xG On Target (xGOT) Is 5.51, Passing Accuracy Is 81.6%, and of course the seven goals that Jayden Clarke has scored this season, and sometimes Jayden Clarke has played as a striker, and because Jayden Clarke has played as a striker, a winger on either flank, and even at times at wing back, with Jayden Clarke being 23 Years Old, and the versatility of being able to play in a few position’s on the pitch, there will be a few clubs in League Two looking to sign Jayden Clarke in the summer, and I also think that the fact that Jayden Clarke wasn’t on the substitutes bench for Port Vale V Gillingham kind of tell’s us as supporters that Jayden Clarke is leaving Gillingham in the summer.

EUAN WILLIAMS - RELEASE - When Euan Williams signed for Gillingham, George Lapslie was transfer listed and expected to leave the football club before Transfer Deadline Day and Bradley Dack hadn’t signed for Gillingham yet, But with George Lapslie still part of the football club’s plans and Bradley Dack signing, Gillingham had George Lapslie, Bradley Dack, Jonny Williams, Tim Dieng and Euan Williams who can all play in the central attacking midfielder position on the pitch, and this forced Euan Williams to drop further down the pecking order, and it also didn’t help Euan William’s chances of playing for the first team when he was sent off on his debut away against Swansea City, which meant that Euan Williams was suspended for three matches, and George Lapslie had come on as a substitute and scored the winning goal for Gillingham away against Morecambe, and Mark Bonner felt that George Lapslie could still play a pivotal role in Gillingham’s push for promotion, and it meant that Euan Williams chances for playing for the first team will be very limited.

And regarding appearances this season, Euan Williams has played thirteen times for Gillingham, eight starting and five substitute appearances, and under Gareth Ainsworth, Euan Williams has made two starting and one substitute appearance for Gillingham, and against Harrogate Town, Euan Williams tried a speculative effort on goal from the halfway line which was saved by Goalkeeper James Belshaw and it was an encouraging effort on goal from the young midfielder.

And looking at Euan Williams stats for the season, Euan Williams has one assist, which was for Aaron Rowe’s sensational goal for Gillingham against Port Vale on the final day of the season, Passing Accuracy Is 74.5%, Crossing Accuracy Is 18.2% and Successful Dribbles is six, and these number’s are from 404 minutes played that Euan Williams has played for Gillingham in League Two throughout the season, and whilst these number’s do not included the minute’s that Euan Williams has played for Gillingham in The League Cup, The Football League Trophy and The FA Cup, the amount of minute’s that Euan Williams will play for Gillingham next season is only going to decrease with other addition’s made to the squad over the summer, and something else to take into consideration is that Euan Williams takes up one of Gillingham’s over twenty one spot’s in the first team squad, and those spot’s in the squad need to be reserved for first team players, and I also think that Euan Williams will want to go a club where he is assured first team football, and Gillingham cannot give Euan Williams those assurances and he will most likely drop lower down the pecking order with the addition’s that Gillingham are likely to make to strengthen the squad over the summer.

BRADLEY DACK - KEEP - I think Bradley Dack has suffered from the same situation as Jonny Williams and Aaron Rowe, a highly rated player who has been under-used by Gillingham Football Club this season, and since Gareth Ainsworth has been appointed as Gillingham Manager, Bradley Dack has made two starting and three substitute appearances, with Bradley Dack starting both home matches against AFC Wimbledon and Swindon Town and being substituted off the pitch after sixty five minutes, and the three substitute appearances has seen Bradley Dack come on as a sub after the hour mark and getting the opportunity to play for the final thirty minutes of the match, and I think this is how Gareth Ainsworth intends to use Bradley Dack for Gillingham Football Club Next Season, when starting matches, Bradley Dack plays for an hour, and when coming on as a substitute, Bradley Dack comes on as a sub with 25-30 minutes to play, and with five substitutes a match and this places greater importance on squad depth, Gillingham have the ability to use Bradley Dack sensibly with this 60/30 approach, because I don’t see Bradley Dack playing the full ninety minutes in matches, but Bradley Dack can contribute playing sixty minutes and being substituted off the pitch, or, coming on as a sub with half an hour left to play.

And the stoppage winning goal from Bradley Dack against MK Dons was a fantastic and incredible moment and a moment we had been waiting for when Bradley Dack had signed for Gillingham and we have just not seen as many of those moments from Bradley Dack this season, however, Bradley Dack followed up this stoppage time winning goal against MK Dons with assisting Joe Gbode to scoring the winning goal for Gillingham in Gillingham’s 1-0 home win against AFC Wimbledon, and straight after that goal from Joe Gbode, Bradley Dack was substituted and his last contribution in that match was assisting Joe Gbode’s Goal against AFC Wimbledon.

I also think Gareth Ainsworth see’s a lot of himself in Bradley Dack, because Gareth Ainsworth had suffered a few injuries himself in his playing career so he will know what Bradley Dack has been going through and has a lot of sympathy for Dack having to battle back from two ACL Injuries, and Gareth Ainsworth will know how much of a fans favourite Bradley Dack is at Gillingham, and he will know that Bradley Dack has got the quality and ability to be a key player to help Gillingham push for promotion into League One Next Season.

Bradley Dack mentioned in an interview with Kent Online that he wants to stay at Gillingham Football Club next season, and Dack added that he wants to have a strong pre-season to make sure that he is fitter and sharper for Gillingham for the 2025 / 2026 season, because pre-season is where players do the bulk of there preparation work to ensure that they are fit and available for selection for the start of the season, and Gillingham Football Club do have the option to trigger a one year contract extension, and I do think the football club will take up that option, I just think with Bradley Dack’s experience, his qualities and abilities as a footballer and Gareth Ainsworth will know what Bradley Dack is going through having experienced those injuries himself in his professional career, I think there is a deal to be done, and Bradley Dack can play an important role in helping Gillingham Football Club to secure promotion into League One Next Season.

ASHER AGBINONE - RETURN TO CRYSTAL PALACE - Asher Agbinone has made only six appearances for Gillingham in the second half of the 2024 / 2025 season, five starting appearances and one substitute appearance and when Gillingham signed Asher Agbinone on loan in January, I was very pleased with this signing, because Asher Agbinone put in a very impressive performance for Crystal Palace’s U21’s against Gillingham In The Football League Trophy, and Asher Agbinone has a lot of pace, trickery and skill and Crystal Palace Supporters had been singing his praises and were delighted that Asher Agbinone was going to get first team football in League Two.

But injury combined with a change in system has meant that Asher Agbinone has found himself out of the match-day squad or being an unused substitute on the bench, and when Gareth Ainsworth was appointed as Gillingham Manager, Ainsworth wanted to have a look at the contracted players in the last nine league games of the season, although, Asher Agbinone did get the opportunity to start for Gillingham away against Port Vale on the final day of the season, Asher Agbinone probably didn’t play as many minutes as he would have liked to whilst on loan at Gillingham.

I have seen some rumours mentioning that there is the possibility of Asher Agbinone re-signing for Gillingham on loan for The 2025 / 2026 Season, But I think Crystal Palace will want to send Asher Agbinone out on loan to a club who will be starting Asher Agbinone on a week in, week out basis, and with Gillingham likely to make more signings to strengthen in the final third of the pitch, and I can see Aaron Rowe playing more of a key role at Gillingham Football Club next season, I just cannot see Asher Agbinone coming back to Gillingham, and also, Gareth Ainsworth might be looking at players he will want to sign on loan in the summer, most notably, from QPR, where Ainsworth has got good connections with the coaching staff at Lotfus Road.

STAN SKIPPER - KEEP BUT SEND OUT ON LOAN - Stan Skipper has had loan spells with Bowers & Pitsea and Ashford United, and it was at Ashford United where Stan Skipper got to play a lot of competitive first team football and Ashford United Manager Lloyd Hume has praised all three Gillingham Players in Taite Holtam, Harry Waldock and Stan Skipper for there performances on loan at Ashford United, and there appears to be a link building between Ashford United and Gillingham Football Club for when it comes to sending our young players out on loan.

And if there is the option for Gillingham to send Stan Skipper out on loan again for the 2025 / 2026 season to Chatham Town or Ashford United on a half season or full season loan, then this would be a good move for Stan Skipper to play meaningful competitive first team football to enhance his development, at the end of the day, Gillingham do not have a second team to bridge the gap between first team and youth team football, and if we can send more of our young players out on loan for next season, with the option for these players to be recalled as and when they are needed to play for Gillingham’s First Team, then sending our young players out on loan can only be good for our young player’s development, look at Sam Gale, he had loan spells with Sheppey United and Chelmsford City and is now playing for Gillingham’s First Team.

Stan Skipper made one substitute appearance for Gillingham In The Football League Trophy Against Crystal Palace’s U21’s, and I think with the number of midfielder’s Gillingham have got at the football club already, and the chances of Gillingham strengthening the squad in the summer, another loan move to Ashford United or loan moves to Chatham Town, Ramsgate, Sittingbourne or Margate would be good for Stan Skipper’s development.

DOMINIC CORNESS - RETURN TO LIVERPOOL - Dominic Corness made six appearances for Gillingham in the second half of the 2024 / 2025 season, four starting appearances and two substitute appearances, and looking at Dominic Corness for the brief amount of minutes he has played for Gillingham Football Club this season, Corness Stats are as follows, eight crosses, which average’s out at 3.17 per game, Two Key Passes, Crossing Accuracy Is 33.3%, and Tackle’s % Won was 100%.

I thought Dominic Corness played well in midfield when he started for Gillingham away against Walsall on A Tuesday Night before having to be substituted both due to fatigue and being booked earlier on in the match, and when Dominic Corness came on as a substitute in the final home league game of the season against Swindon Town, which was a match that ended in a 1-1 draw, I thought Dominic Corness showed some nice touches on the ball, and on the final day of the season, Dominic Corness started for Gillingham in midfield, and it has to be said that Port Vale dominated possession in the first half, that wasn’t a match where we got to see what Dominic Corness could do in possession of the ball, it was a tough match at Vale Park away against A Port Vale Side who had secured promotion into League One and were in contention for The League Two Title on the final day of the season.

I cannot see Dominic Corness re-signing for Gillingham on loan next season, But Dominic Corness will go back to Liverpool having gained some first team experience at Gillingham, and also, you got to praise Dominic Corness because he pushed for the loan move to Gillingham back in January, so he clearly wants to be playing first team football, and there might be another loan move at a different club for Dominic Corness for the start of The 2025 / 2026 Season.

TIM DIENG - RELEASE - Tim Dieng was part of that group of players who signed for Gillingham in January 2023 to help Gillingham retain our Football League Status, George Lapslie, Tom Nichols, Conor Masterson, Aiden O’Brien, and Oli Hawkins all signed for Gillingham as we battled to retain our Football League Status, and Tim Dieng was part of that group of signings, and for that, I will always have gratitude and appreciation for that group of players who kept Gillingham In the Football League, and Tim Dieng was very much a key and crucial player in the second half of the 2022 / 2023 season.

And Tim Dieng scored the opening goal of the 2024 / 2025 season in Gillingham’s 4-1 Home Win Against Carlisle United, and Tim Dieng was on the score-sheet for Gillingham against Swindon Town and Harrogate Town before the move to Cheltenham Town happened in The January Transfer Window, and with Tim Dieng leaving Gillingham on loan, and the fact that Tim Dieng is out of contract at Gillingham Football Club in the summer, I think it is very obvious that Tim Dieng will be leaving Gillingham Football Club once his current contract expires, Chairman Brad Galinson mentioned in that interview with The ME7 Podcast that 70% of Gillingham’s wage bill is tied up in players who Gillingham had to over-pay to get them to sign for the football club when Gillingham were bottom of The Football League, and whilst those signings helped Gillingham to avoid relegation into The National League, those signings are holding Gillingham back from moving forwards as Gillingham look to push for promotion into League One.

And I genuinely wish Tim Dieng all the best for the future, again, Dieng was part of that group of signings that saw Gillingham retain our Football League Status, a very good footballer, a good person, and there will be quite a few clubs in League Two interested in signing Tim Dieng once his current contract expires at Gillingham.

HARRY WALDOCK - KEEP BUT SEND OUT ON LOAN - Like Stan Skipper, Harry Waldock has had a decent loan spell at Ashford United for the second half of the 2024 / 2025 season, and Harry Waldock was also praised for his performances at Ashford United by Ashford United Manager Lloyd Hume, and like I have mentioned earlier with Stan Skipper, if there is the option for Gillingham to send Harry Waldock out on loan again for the 2025 / 2026 season to Chatham Town or Ashford United on a half season or full season loan, then this would be a good move for Harry Waldock to play meaningful competitive first team football to enhance his development.

Gillingham have got plenty of midfielder options to call upon, and I can see Gareth Ainsworth looking to make a few signings to strengthen the squad in the summer which will only push Harry Waldock further down the pecking order, so it would be good for Harry Waldock and some of our young players to go out on loan, and one thing I do hope is happening is that Gillingham are looking to organise Season Long Loan Deals for some of our young players to go out and play first team football in non league, especially for young players that we know are not going to be close to the first team for the time being at least.

STRIKERS: 

ELLIOTT NEVITT - KEEP - It’s not been the season that Elliott Nevitt would have been hoping for at Gillingham This Season, five goals in thirty seven appearances is a disappointing return from a player who scored eighteen goals for Crewe Alexandra last season as Crewe Alexandra lost against Crawley Town In The League Two Playoff Final At Wembley Stadium.

And looking at some of Elliott Nevitt’s stats for Gillingham this season, there are some stats that really do stand out, Expected Goals (xG) is 7.76, Shots is 64, But 15 of those shots have been on target, Successful Passes is 310, Successful Dribbles, 15, Touches In Opposition Box, 149, and Duels Won, 230, Aerial duels won, 162, Recoveries 71, and Possession won final 3rd, 18, with the final four stats perhaps referencing to the hard working and hard running style of play that Elliott Nevitt plays with, and I believe there is an interesting comparison to be made between Elliott Nevitt and Danny Kedwell, both players played in non league football, both players put themselves about in the final third and are very combative and chase every blade of grass, and hopefully, Elliott Nevitt can replicate Danny Kedwell’s success by getting Gillingham promoted into League One as League Two Champions Next Season.

Elliott Nevitt played eight games for Gillingham under Gareth Ainsworth’s nine games in-charge at the back end of the 2024 / 2025 season, with Elliott Nevitt starting seven of the eight matches and making one substitute appearance, and Elliott Nevitt scored in back to back away games against Salford City and Chesterfield and The Chesterfield Goal in particular was a well taken goal, and both goals saw Elliott Nevitt receive possession of the ball in the opposition’s penalty area and Elliott Nevitt has scored and that just hasn’t happened often enough this season, hence, Elliott Nevitt’s low goal-scoring record for Gillingham This Season, and whilst I am expecting to see Gillingham strengthen our attacking options in the summer transfer window, I also think Gareth Ainsworth will be focusing on chance creation and creating better goal-scoring opportunities for our strikers, because this is a problem that also needs to be addressed moving forwards if Gillingham are to achieve promotion at the end of next season.

I also think it is important to mention that Elliott Nevitt missed pre-season and the start of the season, with Elliott Nevitt making his first appearance for Gillingham in the 2-1 home defeat against Peterborough United In The Football League Trophy, And Elliott Nevitt was on the score-sheet for Gillingham that evening as well, and I like to think that with a full pre-season, Gareth Ainsworth looking to strengthen the squad in the final third, as well as working on chance creativity and creating better goal-scoring opportunities that we will see The Elliott Nevitt that Gillingham signed from Crewe Alexandra, But I am also expecting to see Gillingham strengthen in the final third of the pitch with some striker signings in the summer as well.

JOSH ANDREWS - SEND OUT ON LOAN / RELEASE - Josh Andrews signed for Gillingham In The 2024 January Transfer Window, and in that time, Josh Andrews has made twenty two appearances and scored two goals, and with Gareth Ainsworth wanting a smaller first team squad for The 2025 / 2026 Season, I cannot see Josh Andrews being part of Gareth Ainsworth’s plans for next season, with Gillingham looking to strengthen our attacking options for next season, that will only mean that Josh Andrews is pushed further down the pecking order at Gillingham with new striker signings expected to be made in the summer.

There will be the comparison made and questions very reasonably asked about Bradley Dack and why I think Bradley Dack will stay with his injury concern’s and Josh Andrews leaves, Bradley Dack has been fit and available for selection for Gillingham for the majority of the second half of the season but just hasn’t been selected for the first team, and Gareth Ainsworth has sensibly played Bradley Dack with thirty minute substitute appearances and sixty minute starting appearances, and if Gillingham can realistically only keep one player who is prone to injury out of Bradley Dack and Josh Andrews, then I think Bradley Dack will be the player that Gillingham will want to keep hold off.

And it is such a shame that Josh Andrews has these injury problems, because he has the physicality and the mobility to be a very effective target-man, Josh Andrews scored a fantastic goal for Gillingham away against Stevenage In The Football League Trophy, and Andrews is the type of target-man striker that all clubs need in League Two, but I just think with the signings that Gillingham are expected to make to strengthen our attacking options in the summer, and the fact that Gareth Ainsworth will want to make space in the squad to sign players that he wants to sign in the off season, then Josh Andrews either needs to have his contract terminated, or, Gillingham agree to send Josh Andrews out on loan for the entire season, and a club in League Two or The National League pays half, or, most of Josh Andrews Wages.

I do think it was very important for Josh Andrews to make that substitute appearance for Gillingham away against Port Vale, and Josh Andrews almost scored with his first touch of the ball as well, just to have the confidence, belief and relief that Josh Andrews is back out there on the football pitch, and it must be difficult mentally and psychologically for Josh Andrews to be constantly injured and out on the sidelines and not playing, but I think Gillingham will strengthen our attacking options in the summer, and that means that Josh Andrews is going to drop lower down the striker pecking order, and the chances are that Josh Andrews will be available to sign on loan in the summer transfer window.

OLI HAWKINS - RELEASE - Oli Hawkins made two starting appearances and four substitute appearances for Gillingham under Gareth Ainsworth’s tenure as Gillingham Manager towards the back end of The 2024 / 2025 Season, But with Brad Galinson’s comments about Gillingham’s Wage Bill taken up by 70% of the cost for players that Gillingham had to over-pay to make sure that players signed for Gillingham when we were bottom of The Football League, then Oli Hawkins is a player we can expect to see leaving Gillingham Football Club in the summer, and if Oli Hawkins were to leave, then he leaves with our best wishes, because Oli Hawkins came to Gillingham in January 2023 and helped Gillingham to retain our Football League Status, along with the other signings that Gillingham made in The January 2023 Transfer Window, and Oli Hawkins has the added versatility of being able to play as a target-man centre forward and as a centre back, and with that versatility, there is certainly room in the squad for a player like Oli Hawkins, but even if Oli Hawkins sign’s a two year contract on a 50% pay cut, that’s still a lot of wages to be paying a player to be named on the substitutes bench to cover two position’s on the pitch, and although Gareth Ainsworth does like a target-man striker - Adebayo Akinfenwa and Sam Vokes are two players that have played for Gareth Ainsworth at Wycombe Wanderers - there will be strikers available in the summer with the physical attributes who can score more goals then Oli Hawkins and be that ruthless and clinical striker at the top end of the pitch.

And just to name a few strikers who fit the attributes of a target-man centre forward who could be available in the summer, Ollie Palmer (Wrexham), Tom Eaves (Northampton Town), and of course, the striker that a lot of supporters have been talking about a lot recently and during previous transfer window’s is Harry Smith at Swindon Town, there will be strikers with the physical attributes that Oli Hawkins has got who would provide more fire-power to Gillingham’s forward line for next season, But if Gillingham could keep Oli Hawkins as a back up centre back / centre forward, and there are finances available for Gillingham to strengthen the area’s of the squad that need to be strengthened in the summer transfer window, then I would keep Oli Hawkins at the football club, but realistically, I just do not think that scenario is one that can and will happen, I cannot see a scenario where Oli Hawkins stays at Gillingham as a back up squad player, even on a substantial pay cut, because Oli Hawkins is going to want to sign for a club who is going to provide him with regular first team football, and I don’t think Gillingham can offer Oli Hawkins regular football next season.

And Looking at Oli Hawkins stats for this season, both fouls committed and fouls against have exactly the same stats, 20 fouls, with an average 2.33 per game, even though we as supporters have lost count the number of times Oli Hawkins has his shirt pulled halfway up his back and no foul has been given in his favour, Ground Duels Is 218, which average’s out at an incredible 25.41 per game, Ground Duels Won Is 112 and works out at 13.06 per game, Aerial Duels Won is 85 and works out at 9.91 per game, Aerial Duels Won % is 57.1%, however, stats for Assist’s, Expected Assist’s and Successful Dribbles are low, and of course, threading eye of a needle passes has never been Oli Hawkins game or the way he play’s, but his lack of movement means that the goal that Gillingham scored against Swindon Town for example, that goal doesn’t happen with Oli Hawkins up-front, because Oli Hawkins isn’t the type of striker to run in behind or play on the shoulder of the last defender.

And overall this season, Oli Hawkins has made twenty seven appearances and scored one goal, and that goal was scored against Swansea City In The League Cup First Round, so no goals scored for Oli Hawkins in the league this season, and with Gillingham aiming for promotion next season, I just cannot see Oli Hawkins staying at the football club, and that includes staying as a back up squad player with Gillingham strengthening our attacking options in the summer transfer window, And if Oli Hawkins were to leave, then I do wish Oli Hawkins all the best, where-ever he ends up in the summer.

MARCUS WYLLIE - KEEP, BUT SEND OUT ON LOAN - Marcus Wyllie scored thirty four goals in forty nine appearances for Enfield Town In The 2023 / 2024 Season, and that goal-scoring form saw Gillingham sign Marcus Wyllie for an undisclosed fee last summer, and as the old adage goes, the goal posts don’t move, so this was a chance signing worth taking a punt on and there have been too many occasions in the past where Gillingham have allowed non league strikers on there door-step to sign for other football clubs and Gillingham have missed out on the opportunity to sign a promising non league striker from a local non league club, and Marcus Wyllie signing for Gillingham was a signing that most Gillingham Supporters were delighted with at the time.

Marcus Wyllie has made sixteen appearances for Gillingham this season, scoring against Crystal Palace’s U21’s In The Football League Trophy, and there was also the home game against Tranmere Rovers where Marcus Wyllie came on as a substitute and got two assist’s for Jayden Clarke’s goals for Gillingham in a 3-0 home win, and we know that Marcus Wyllie has had to adapt from part time football to full time professional football, and looking at Marcus Wyllie’s stats at Dagenham & Redbridge whilst out on loan, no goals scored in three starts and seven substitute appearances, and Dagenham & Redbridge have been relegated into The Conference South on the final day of the season, and Marcus Wyllie will be disappointed not to have got himself on the score-sheet whilst out on loan at Dagenham & Redbridge.

I think Marcus Wyllie will return to Gillingham Football Club in the summer, take part in a tough pre-season campaign in preparation for next season, but with Gillingham expected to strengthen our options in attack, in additional to the strikers currently at the football club, I can see Gillingham looking to send Marcus Wyllie out on loan, because Gillingham have finished in 17th position in League Two this season, if we’re looking to go for promotion next season, then you can expect to see some statement signings at the top end of the pitch in the summer, there could be a world where Marcus Wyllie stays at Gillingham as a squad player, and Gareth Ainsworth likes the look of Marcus Wyllie to provide additional depth in the striker department, but I just think personally that with the addition’s that Gillingham are looking to make in the summer, that Marcus Wyllie will go out on loan.

And by sending Marcus Wyllie out on loan, Marcus Wyllie gets to play regular competitive first team football, but also, Gillingham can monitor the loan move and see how well Marcus Wyllie is performing, and let’s say for example that Marcus Wyllie has gone out on loan and scored fifteen goals by December, then Gillingham could recall Marcus Wyllie from that loan in January, and Marcus Wyllie could be part of Gillingham’s plans in the first team in the second half of the season.

JIMMY-JAY MORGAN - RETURN TO CHELSEA - Jimmy-Jay Morgan has made sixteen appearances for Gillingham Football Club in the second half of the 2024 / 2025 season, scoring two goals, with Jimmy-Jay Morgan scoring for Gillingham against Newport County, and that goal was a consolation goal, and Jimmy-Jay Morgan opened the scoring for Gillingham against Cheltenham Town at Whaddon Road with a fantastic finish and a well taken goal.

Jimmy-Jay Morgan often started in the attacking midfielder role under John Coleman, but since Gareth Ainsworth’s appointment as Gillingham Manager, Jimmy-Jay Morgan has made three starting and two substitute appearances for Gillingham under Gareth Ainsworth, but as I have mentioned with Asher Agbinone and Dominic Corness earlier, I think Jimmy-Jay Morgan will return to Chelsea, but the young Chelsea Loanee has clearly enjoyed his loan spell at Gillingham and enjoyed playing competitive first team football in League Two.

I found Jimmy-Jay Morgan’s interview before our league game against Accrington Stanley very interesting, because I had the chance to re-watch that interview again, and because this is Jimmy-Jay Morgan’s first loan move to A Football League Side, Jimmy-Jay Morgan mentioned that he perhaps under-estimated the importance of three points every weekend and just how many supporters turn up to games, because Jimmy-Jay Morgan has been playing academy football and Premier League Two Football, and whilst there are results and a league table, and supporters do go to these matches, there is a big difference going from 200-300 people in a match where your not feeling the effects of what your playing for in academy football, compared to Jimmy-Jay Morgan playing for Gillingham against Port Vale in-front of a 13,661 Attendance At Vale Park, and whilst I don’t think Jimmy-Jay Morgan will re-sign for Gillingham on loan next season, I can see Jimmy-Jay Morgan getting himself another loan move to a club in League Two Next Season.

JACOB WAKELING - RETURN TO PETERBOROUGH UNITED - Jacob Wakeling has made nineteen appearances for Gillingham this season, scoring one goal, which was the goal Jacob Wakeling scored against Carlisle United on the opening day of the season, and under Gareth Ainsworth’s tenure as Gillingham Manager, Jacob Wakeling made two late substitute appearances for Gillingham against Colchester United and Harrogate Town, and the fact that Jacob Wakeling wasn’t named on the substitutes bench for The Port Vale Game with Joe Gbode suspended, and Elliott Nevitt and Oli Hawkins both injured just confirmed that Jacob Wakeling won’t be playing for Gillingham Football Club next season, although, it has to be said that I am surprised that Peterborough United didn’t recall Jacob Wakeling from his loan spell in January and send Wakeling out on loan to another club in League Two where he can get regular competitive first team football.

I think Jacob Wakeling will be disappointed that the loan move to Gillingham has not worked out, especially when Peterborough United Chairman Darragh MacAnthony believed that Jacob Wakeling would score 25 goals for Gillingham playing as a central striker and I guess that is a question that will remain unanswered, how many goals would Jacob Wakeling had scored for Gillingham if Wakeling had more game-time this season ??? I just think with Gareth Ainsworth wanting to sign a target-man to be the focal point in attack and Gillingham looking to strengthen our attacking options in the summer that Jacob Wakeling won’t be coming back to Gillingham.

But Peterborough United will be transfer listing Jacob Wakeling in the summer to sell Wakeling and use the funds from that player sale to strengthen there first team squad for next season, because although Peterborough United won The Football League Trophy, they have under-achieved there season expectations in League One, and there will be clubs in League Two who will be looking to sign Jacob Wakeling, and I do think that if Jacob Wakeling were to play for a side that lined up with two strikers in a big man / little man combination up-front, that Wakeling would score more goals playing for a team that prefers playing with two strikers in attack.

ASHLEY NADESAN - SELL - Ashley Nadesan has been out on loan at Sutton United for The 2024 / 2025 Season, and Ashley Nadesan has scored eight goals in forty four appearances for Sutton United this season in The National League and Ashley Nadesan also has seven assist’s for Sutton United as well.

When Gillingham signed Ashley Nadesan, I believe that Nadesan was signed on a three year deal and he still has one year left on his contract at Gillingham Football Club, and it may well be the case that Gillingham are willing to accept a low transfer fee in order for Gillingham to move Ashley Nadesan on in the summer, and the transfer fee could be £10.000 - £20.000, but the low transfer fee would mean that Ashley Nadesan is sold and his wages and the small transfer fee can go towards signing strikers who are going to help Gillingham push for promotion into League One Next Season, Because in The 2023 / 2024 season, Gillingham signed Macauley Bonne and Ashley Nadesan after we were linked with a move for Alfie May, and both Macauley Bonne and Ashley Nadesan are playing in The Conference National for Southend United and Sutton United respectively, and there is very little of a skill gap between League One, League Two and The National League, but with Gillingham’s aims for promotion, I think Gillingham will sell Ashley Nadesan and then reinvest the transfer fee and freed up wages into striker signings that will strengthen the squad for next season.

JOE GBODE - KEEP - The 2024 / 2025 Season was Joe Gbode’s first full season as a senior first team player having made fifteen appearances for Gillingham in the previous three season’s, but this season saw Joe Gbode make thirty nine appearances for Gillingham’s First Team and Joe Gbode scored three goals, including two goals in back to back home league games against AFC Wimbledon and Swindon Town, both goals were well taken goals for different reason’s, a first time effort on goal which flew into the back of the net against AFC Wimbledon after a one touch layoff from Bradley Dack, and a well taken one on one composed finish against Swindon Town to give Gillingham the lead before Will Wright scored a sensational equaliser from a free kick to level the game up at 1-1.

And I said to one Gillingham Supporter next to me during The Swindon Town Game that there is a comparison to be made between Joe Gbode and Elliott List, because it took Elliott List ages to score his first goal for Gillingham, and then Elliott List scored in back to back league games against Bristol Rovers and Plymouth Argyle, and from there onwards, Elliott List scored eight goals in forty five appearances for Gillingham in The 2018 / 2019 season, including the winning goal for Gillingham against Premier League Side Cardiff City In The FA Cup Third Round, and maybe, with more coaching time on the training ground, and a full pre-season to work with Gareth Ainsworth and Richard Dobson, Joe Gbode can contribute more goals to his game for Gillingham in The 2025 / 2026 Season.

And Looking At Joe Gbode’s Stats For Gillingham throughout The 2024 / 2025 Season, Joe Gbode has had 36 Successful Dribbles, Fouls Won Is 57, Shot 38, Shots On Target Is 13, Duels Won Is 179, Aerial Duels Won Is 66, and when your looking at stats like Successful Dribbles as an example, I remember the home game against Tranmere Rovers where Joe Gbode would get on the ball, and just take on his opposition full back and it was almost like Joe Gbode gave himself one simple instruction - and that was, When I get possession of the ball, I am just going to run at my opposition with pace and direct running and take him on - and Joe Gbode did that to full effect against Tranmere Rovers, and he has done this in other games throughout the season as well.

There is still a debate amongst Gillingham Supporters regarding Joe Gbode’s best position on the pitch, is he better off as a winger, or playing as a central striker, and prior to the home game against AFC Wimbledon, I think the majority of supporters would agree that Joe Gbode is a winger, but after those two goals Gbode scored against AFC Wimbledon and Swindon Town, there goals that a clinical striker would score and Joe Gbode can play up-front for Gillingham, and the all likelihood is that Joe Gbode can fulfil both roles as a winger and striker for Gillingham Football Club Next Season.

It is important to mention that Joe Gbode is A Club Development Player, and Gillingham need A Club Development Player in the match-day squad for league games, Sam Gale and Bradley Dack also fulfil this league requirement, and both Sam Gale and Joe Gbode have signed contract extension’s at Gillingham Football Club, I am expecting to see Gareth Ainsworth sign one, maybe two strikers in the summer to really strengthen the top end of the pitch, and that may well means that Joe Gbode is on the bench, but if Gillingham need to bring someone on with pace, energy and fresh legs to go up against tiring defenders, then Joe Gbode can be a very effective impact substitute for Gillingham Next Season, and Gillingham used to have players like Myles Weston, Elliott List and Jermaine McGlashan who were great coming on as a substitute, and Joe Gbode could be very effective to bring on if Gillingham need a player with pace and direct running to take on opposition defenders with 15-20 minutes to go in a match.

JOSH BAYLISS - KEEP BUT SEND OUT ON LOAN - Josh Bayliss has had loan spells with Croydon Athletic and Margate this season to experience playing first team football, and like I have mentioned with the likes of Stan Skipper and Harry Waldock, Gillingham do not have a second team to bridge the gap between youth team and first team football, and Josh Bayliss needs to go out on loan and play regular first team football, it could be a loan spell at Ashford United, Chatham Town, Faversham Town or Herne Bay, but which-ever club Josh Bayliss sign’s for on loan, he needs to be playing competitive first team football, because we saw with one of the loan spell’s Harry Bridle had earlier in the season where he was struggling to get game-time, so Josh Bayliss, just like the other young players I have mentioned earlier needs to go out on loan and gain valuable experience.

HARRY BRIDLE - KEEP BUT SEND OUT ON LOAN - Harry Bridle was scoring goals for fun for Gillingham in pre-season, including two goals for Gillingham’s First Team away against Dartford at Princes Park, But it is the loan spell at Whitehawk where Harry Bridle really has impressed this season, with Harry Bridle scoring ten goals and creating nine assist’s in twenty appearances, and with that goal-scoring record, I think Harry Bridle needs to go out on loan on A Season Long Loan To A Conference South Side In The 2025 / 2026 Season, I often think it is the case that when it comes to loan spells at Conference National and Conference South Clubs, you need to offer half season or full season loan deals to ensure that your players get game-time at a high standard of non league football, where as the lower tiers of non league football are more willing to accept the month to month loan deals, and after such an incredible loan spell at Whitehawk, Harry Bridle needs to go out on loan to A Conference South Side Next Season.

YOUTH: HARRY BRIDLE, STAN SARGENT, LOGAN DOBBS, CARTER SULLIVAN, JIMMY HEASMAN AND LOUIE DAYAL - KEEP - I think Gillingham will have a squad size just as big as the squad that Gillingham have carried this season, But one thing you won’t be seeing is nine or ten senior first team players outside the match-day squad, I don’t think Gareth Ainsworth will mind having quite a few young players outside the match-day squad, but it is different when your seeing players like Jacob Wakeling, Jack Nolan, and Jayden Clarke sitting in the stands.

With Taite Holtam going out on a season long loan in my example above, Carter Sullivan will be third choice goalkeeper behind the new number one goalkeeper and Glenn Morris, that way Gillingham won’t need to use The Emergency Loan System like we had to use to sign Luca Ashby-Hammond on loan when Jake Turner was injured, and I think you always want to have three first team goalkeepers on the book’s, and if Taite Holtam goes out on loan, then it makes sense to promote Carter Sullivan to be the third choice goalkeeper.

Logan Dobbs is a centre back who put in A Man Of The Match Performance to help Burgess Hill Town win promotion away against Sittingbourne, Jimmy Heasman and Louie Dayal have scored scoring and assisting goals for fun for the youth team and both players have been putting in some impressive performances for the youth team, and Stan Sargent made his debut for Gillingham and scored from the penalty spot in the penalty shoot-out against Stevenage in The Football League Trophy.

SO WITH ALL OF MY SUGGESTIONS, WHAT WILL GILLINGHAM’S SQUAD LOOK LIKE FOR THE 2025 / 2026 SEASON ???

GOALKEEPERS: Glenn Morris

DEFENDERS: Remeao Hutton, Max Clark, Shadrach Ogie, Sam Gale

MIDFIELDERS: Ethan Coleman, Armani Little, Jonny Williams, Aaron Rowe, Robbie McKenzie, Nelson Khumbeni, Bradley Dack

STRIKERS: Elliott Nevitt, Joe Gbode

YOUTH: Carter Sullivan, Logan Dobbs, Louie Dayal, Jimmy Heasman, Stan Sargent

OUT ON LOAN: Taite Holtam, Harry Webster, Stan Skipper, Harry Waldock, Marcus Wyllie, Josh Bayliss, Harry Bridle

I think Gareth Ainsworth will add eight to ten signings in addition to the senior first team players I have mentioned above, I think at the very maximum, there will be a senior first team squad of twenty two or twenty four players and no more then that, and then there will be the youth team players I have mentioned above who will add additional depth to the squad, but what we won’t see is a repeat of this season where Gillingham would have a senior first team squad of thirty players who are all considered first team signings, Gareth Ainsworth has spoken about how there are far too many senior first team players on the book’s, and that needs to be cut in the summer, but I do think Gillingham will have a large first team squad next season, but there will be more first and second year pro’s in the squad, and those players are easier to be able to send out on loan to experience first team football, and there wages are vasty cheaper then a senior first team player.

I am sure that the wages for someone like Oli Hawkins can cover the wages of ten first year pro’s as an example, and because all the younger players are younger then 20 years old, they can be sent out on youth loan deals to non league clubs, and because a young player goes out on loan on a youth loan deal, if Gillingham need to recall a young player on loan, they can be recalled, like the way Taite Holtam was recalled to be a substitute goalkeeper as cover for Glenn Morris.

THE TWENTY TWO OVER TWENTY ONE RULE

There is a rule which will effect how League One and League Two Clubs assemble there squads for The 2025 / 2026 Season, So what is The Twenty Two Over Twenty One Rule ??? - Your allowed a maximum squad size of twenty two players who are twenty one or older in your entire squad, Goalkeepers do not count towards the squad restriction, and neither do players who are under the age of twenty one, And with all of the squads suggestions I have made above, this is how Gillingham’s Squad will look like with this rule in place.

LINK - https://www.eadt.co.uk/sport/ipswich-town/20663788.town-set-push-efl-squad-rules-max/ - This is one of the links which explain’s The 22 over 21 rule for League One And League Two Clubs

DEFENDERS: Remeao Hutton, Shadrach Ogie, Max Clark 

MIDFIELDERS: Ethan Coleman, Armani Little, Jonny Williams, Aaron Rowe, Robbie McKenzie, Nelson Khumbeni, Bradley Dack 

STRIKERS: Elliott Nevitt

Gillingham have got eleven players in my predicted squad who qualify for The 22 over 21 rule, and I can only see Gillingham signing the maximum of seven out-field players who will contribute to this rule, for reference and understanding, Joe Gbode and Sam Gale do not count towards the 22 over 21 rule as both players are 20 years old, and Goalkeepers do not count towards this rule because this rule only applies to out-field players, so Gillingham could have Glenn Morris and two other goalkeepers who are 33 years old for example, and they would not count towards the 22 over 21 rule, but I will add this, this rule should be explained better and more clearly for supporters who are not aware that this rule exist’s, and even some manager’s have been caught unawares regarding this rule and that it is in place.

I know I have added a lot of young players into the squad here, but I can see Gillingham sending more young players out on loan next season, The B Team won’t be revived, I think the club would much prefer to send out young players out on loan to play competitive first team football, and if they need to be recalled to the first team as cover for injuries and suspensions, then Gillingham have the option to recall those players to the first team.

In the Next Blog, I will look at five potential signings that Gillingham can make to strengthen the squad for The 2025 / 2026 Season, and where do Gillingham need to strengthen the squad as Gillingham aim for promotion having ended in a disappointingly seventeenth position in League Two this season, and also, what players would you have in your own release and retain lists ??? - Do you agree or disagree with my suggestions above, please feel free to comment with your own thoughts and opinions on who you think would stay or go at Gillingham Football Club

[beyou-black]

A Complete Account of the Hive Mind: Volume 1 - The Torture Branch // A Note & Account 1: Mason Moore

Now that the War on Misfits is coming to an end and I have finally settled down with my partner, I have decided to publish these interviews I got from the four branches, as well as a few friends. These are supplementary to the logs that some of the survivors of the time are doing, but not necessary for the understanding of the story itself. The first volume of the four is the accounts of the torture branch, the oldest of the four. As they were illiterate at the time of the interviews, these were recorded on tape and then transcribed by the late Colin Scroll and edited by yours truly. I hope that you  all may be enlightened by these accounts, and possibly see these peculiar characters and their actions in a new light.

-Anette Scroll, mate to (The name has been colored over)

///

Important Vocabulary

Diversum - Diversum Academy; One of the 13 professional warrior academies across the solar system

Rai - Rai Academy; A preparatory academy located in the human city of Liela Pilsetta

IP - Internal Power; The power unique to an individual, usually linked to their personality or place in the world

///

Mason Moore

Human, He/Him, Pure Orange

Dad was never really present. Sure, we kept in contact with him as he traveled, and he came back for birthdays and big holidays and such, but it wasn’t enough. He wasn’t there when I toured Diversum, he wasn’t there when I graduated from Rai, he wasn’t even there when I died. Marco’s mom was more present than he was.

Mom was there for the most part. She had her sleeping spells (self-inflicted) when things got too much for her, and those would last hours, but she was fine otherwise. Did all the things a mom should.

I really shouldn’t complain. Compared to the other guys, I had a perfect childhood. I wasn’t bullied or had bad grades, and I certainly wasn’t abused. It just felt like it wasn’t… enough, y’know?

I think the hardest part was having to see Laura go through all of that and not being able to help her. Human vs Demon never ends well for the human. It was a miracle he had managed to get arrested. Of course, the cops did have access to things to neutralize him, I guess. A gun, for one. Probably some other fantasy shit I didn’t know about. Luckily, Gareth and I had distracted her while her father was getting cuffed.

Gareth had been my rock before I went to Diversum, but now that he was engaged and ready to settle for once in his life, I had found a new rock.

Stephen had been assigned to me because he was the leader and I was the weakest. I wasn’t particularly weak, he was just stronger. Not to say he was the strongest, hell no, that was James. By a long shot. He was one of two magic users, and since Ethan has a lot less magic, and James’s style is also heavily physical, James is our strongest.

Stephen wasn’t bad, though. He was a good fighter and a better leader than any of us could ever be, even Peter. Peter wasn’t a bad leader, per se, Stephen was just better. He learned to work with his blindness and he was like the father I never had.

He sometimes took his role as a father too far, though.

Not this time. This time, him being a father was completely warranted, necessary, wanted, and expected.

“Mason, can you hear me in there?”

I could. Not very well, the voice was muffled and distorted, but it was Stephen’s and I knew what he would be saying in this situation.

“Who’s brain are you in?”

I don’t know. It looked so familiar and yet so distant.

“Can you say anything?”

I tried to let out any noise, any at all, but none came out. Not even a squeak.

“Shit…” There was no voice for a few seconds. “Okay, I’m going to have Ethan send a message through all of our brains, then I need you to alter what this person remembers it as, okay?”

I could do that. That was easy. Simple.

“PINEAPPLE.”

Okay. Ow. That hurt a bit.

I wandered around the brain until I could find the memory, neatly aligned in a line with other short term memories, though this one was being focused on. I quickly changed it. Stephen went down the line, asking us what word we heard. Six pineapples, then…

“Uh, strawberry?”

James. I was in James. I didn’t go in James very often, it was uncomfortable. His memories were all weird and a lot of them were fuzzy. And all of his thoughts are about that boyfriend of his, Vic. He’s obsessed. Honestly, I don’t even understand what he sees in the guy. He’s nothing like my Mallory.

At least now they knew which brain I was in. Hardest part would be to get me out. I mean, it wasn’t too hard. We had done it before. A couple times, actually. It just took some water and sleeping pills. I couldn’t go into a sleeping person’s mind no matter how hard I tried, and we learned that I would be kicked out if someone fell asleep while I was in their mind. It sucked, but it was hard to train my IP, especially when it activates out of panic.

Stupid centipedes.

I wandered a bit more around James’s mind as shit happened around me. Shit I had no control over, nor could I see because for fucks sake where the hell is James’s current view?!

Wait. Fuck. Right. It’s James. He’s fucking scatterbrained. It could be anywhere.

I finally decided to take a good look at his mind. I never have, really. It was a light blue, the ceiling was kind of short, and every here and there, there were columns. It was very empty, and I could see piles of memories in the distance. I stood next to one, too.

I looked up, thinking maybe his perspective was up there. It was not and I looked stupid.

I decided to just lay down and look up until eventually, without warning, I closed my eyes and was back in my own body.

I hate my IP.

[cee-jay-mcwfc]

so gareth rotates routinely now? nice. loving this run for jill as well

There was a fair few players missing either through injury or whom he was just resting but I am surprised that he has stuck with it although I’m not complaining 😅

Honestly so so pleased for her. She seems to really have come back better and stronger than before and I can’t wait to see what she achieves with us

[thisapplepielife]

Written for the @steddieholidaydrabbles pop-up Spring challenge.

Holding Out For Spring

Prompt: Spring | Word Count: 1000 | Rating: M | CW: Alcohol Abuse | Tags: Eddie POV, Corroded Coffin, Future Fic, Struggling, Chronic Pain, Post Break-Up, Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Hopeful Ending, Gatorade: Not a Sponsor

Eddie scratches his pen against the page, scribbling forth and scratching away the words that are spilling out onto the loose papers shuffled all around the desk. He reaches for the bottle sitting on the edge of the desk, and takes another long pull.

It was supposed to be a sober month, and he only made it eight days. That's two more than last month, he supposes. 

Writing drunk never gets him anywhere, not really, but he's doing it anyway. Because he feels too much right now. 

The door to the hotel room opens and closes, and Eddie ignores it. He doesn't want the lecture, not from any of them. He's heard it all before, and it doesn't bear repeating.

It's Gareth, and he's quiet as he gathers up the discarded empties, dropping them into the small trash can across the hotel room. Then, he's putting his hand on Eddie's, covering his fingers as they grip the pen, stilling his wrist. Stopping the flow of words.

"Let's get you cleaned up," Gareth tells him, and it's too soft. Too gentle, and Eddie fucking hates it. Hates him. Hates this godforsaken band. 

Hates the never-ending winter he's suffering through. Freezing him to the bone while he moves through the world.

Gareth can't fix that, nobody can, and there's nothing the three of them can scheme up to change this. No amount of babysitting, no amount of coddling, and no amount of treating him like he's fragile. 

He's not fragile. He's broken. There's a difference.

And Eddie wants to fight back, wants to snarl and bite, but he doesn't. He lets go of the pen, and watches as it rolls off the desk and onto the carpet. 

Gareth pulls him up off the chair, and leads him towards the bathroom, getting the water turned on and to the right temperature. Eddie just leans there watching it all happen, numb. 

"Can you stand?" Gareth asks, and Eddie nods.

It's too cold, this winter that's lingering. Steve left, and that saddled him with six more weeks of winter. Only, it's been six months now.

And he's still holding out for spring.

If spring would just come, then maybe he'd be able to breathe again, even if that feels impossible these days, without Steve. 

He gets in the shower, and sticks his head under the spray, trying to sober up. Scrubs at his sides, fingers digging into the scars there. The ones that have faded, but will never disappear. He's in constant pain. The nerve damage, the muscle loss. You can't get gnawed on by bats and just bounce back, at least Eddie couldn't.

Steve did.

But Steve's always been stronger than him.

He's not gonna be fixed, not ever, but they have a show tonight, and if they cancel any more gigs, shit's really gonna hit the fan. He's a goddamn mess, has been since Steve…took a break. 

It's just a break, not a break-up, Eddie tells himself. Over and over, because he won't survive, if this is permanent. Even as the days have turned into weeks, into months.  

He can hear the rest of the band arguing outside the door, Jeff and Goodie now involved. Throwing ideas around. The same old, same old. 

Rehab, again. Canceling the tour, again. Calling Wayne, again.

The last resort, calling Steve.

They can't do any of those things. Won't. None of them will help, will fix him. This is just the way he is, and they have to work around it.  

So, they'll get him sobered up for the night, for the week, and pretend he'll be better this time. He won't be. He never is. The pain will come back, and he'll turn back to the bottle. 

It's genetic. The Munson way. He's cursed, and there's no point in fighting it. 

When Eddie gets out of the shower, Gareth has his scribbled lyrics in hand, waving them around as he talks. Like Eddie isn't even here, listening. Eddie sees the bottle of yellow Gatorade on the desk, that one of them must have gotten from the vending machine, like it'd be enough to sober him up, and Eddie bats it away, sending it skittering across the carpet and into the wall, leaving a dent near the baseboard that they'll have to pay for. That's nothing new. But it shuts them up, just for a second, before Goodie picks the bottle up off the ground and hurls it back at Eddie. Eddie ducks instead of catching it, and it slams against the mirror, glass against glass, all of it shattering to the carpet below.

Eddie lunges towards Goodie, while Gareth and Jeff struggle to hold them both back, and the shouting starts, all over again.

Eddie comes off the stage, and a bottle of Gatorade is pressed into his fist, and he downs it. Ignoring that it's the wrong color. He prefers yellow, and Steve knows that. So does the band. But this stranger, this roadie, doesn't. So, it's red. 

It's fine, but it isn't right. 

Eddie still claps the kid on the shoulder in thanks, and walks away. 

Opening the door to his dressing room, there's a bottle of yellow Gatorade waiting on the coffee table, and Steve waiting on the couch. 

Eddie can't be mad they called him, can't do anything other than crumple in on himself at the sight of him. Steve shouldn't be here, shouldn't be trying to save Eddie from himself, yet again. It hasn't worked before, and it probably won't work now, either.

But Eddie wants it to work. Wants to be good enough for Steve.

"Why?" Eddie asks, and Steve stands. Crosses the room, takes Sweetheart off of Eddie's back, sitting her down gently. Then he pulls Eddie to his chest, those large, warm hands sliding up and down Eddie's back. Soothing him, warming him. 

"You know why," Steve says.

Eddie held out for spring, and he's here now. 

His sunshine, in a yellow sweater.

The start of the thaw.

Inspired by the song Spring by Ed Sheeran.

I said I'd do a sober month, I failed, but tried, and wrote this drunk, Oh, what a state we're in, I'll keep holdin' out for spring Spring, Ed Sheeran

If you want to write your own, or see more entries for this challenge, pop on over to @steddieholidaydrabbles and follow along with the fun!

If you want to see more of my entries into this month-long challenge, you can check them out in my Steddie Holiday Drabbles tag, right here!

[katharinelly]

EA FC 25 Ultimate Team Eight New Icons Revealed

EA FC 25 is set to introduce eight new Icons to its Ultimate Team mode, including legends from both men's and women's football. These additions will join an already impressive roster of over 100 playable Icons, here’s a look at the new Icons and what they bring to the game.

The New Icons in EA FC 25 1. Gianluigi Buffon Buffon is widely regarded as one of the best goalkeepers in football history. Having won numerous trophies with Juventus, including 10 Serie A titles, his crowning achievement came during the 2006 FIFA World Cup when his crucial saves helped Italy secure the title in a dramatic penalty shootout against France. Buffon's 91-rated Icon card boasts 94 diving, 86 handling, 93 reflexes, and 89 positioning, making him one of the best goalkeepers in the early game. Expect his Prime Icon version to be even stronger when it arrives later in the game’s cycle.

2. Gareth Bale Bale’s inclusion as an Icon will likely make players nostalgic. Known for his blistering pace and powerful shots, Bale had a fantastic career with Tottenham Hotspur before moving to Real Madrid, where he won three league titles and five UEFA Champions League trophies. His 95 pace, 89 shooting, and 89 dribbling stats make him a formidable forward in EA FC 25. Bale is expected to be one of the more expensive Icons due to his outstanding abilities.

3. Nadine Angerer As the highest-rated new Icon, Angerer has an overall rating of 92. Known for her remarkable goalkeeping career, Angerer won the 2007 Women's World Cup and the Women's Euro in 2013. She is the only goalkeeper, male or female, to ever win FIFA World Player of the Year. With 92 diving, 94 reflexes, and 92 positioning, Angerer will be a crucial addition for players looking for a solid goalkeeper.

4. Julie Foudy A legend of the U.S. Women’s National Team, Julie Foudy helped her team win two Women's World Cups, including the inaugural 1991 tournament. Her 90-rated card features well-rounded stats with most attributes above 80. As a central midfielder with the "Engine" player trait, Foudy is a great fit for formations like 4-3-3, providing balance and versatility.

5. Lilian Thuram A right-back who helped France secure the 1998 World Cup, Thuram’s Icon card comes with 88 pace, 90 defending, and strong physical stats, making him a powerful force in defense. His versatility allows him to play in various positions on the pitch. Thuram's inclusion in the game is special as his sons, Marcus and Khéphren Thuram, also feature, allowing players to create fantasy teams with all three Thurams.

6. Lotta Schelin Lotta Schelin is a prolific Swedish striker who enjoyed success at Lyon, where she won three Women's Champions League titles. Her Icon card has 91 pace, 89 shooting, and 89 dribbling, making her a dangerous forward option in EA FC 25. Pairing her with other top strikers in formations like 4-4-2 could make for a formidable attack.

7. Aya Miyama Miyama is a Japanese legend who helped her country win the 2011 Women's World Cup. Her 88-rated Icon card includes 84 pace, 86 shooting, 88 passing, and 90 dribbling, making her a versatile option for any midfield role. Miyama’s contributions to Japanese football will make her a popular choice in the game.

8. Marinette Pichon As one of France’s earliest female football stars, Pichon made history by becoming her country’s first-ever goalscorer in the Women's World Cup. Her 88-rated Icon card features 85 pace, 89 shooting, and 88 dribbling, making her a strong option for players looking for offensive firepower early in the game.

These eight new Icons are set to add depth and variety to EA FC 25’s Ultimate Team mode, showcasing footballing greatness across different eras and both the men’s and women’s games.

EA FC 25 Release Date EA FC 25 will be available on PlayStation 5, PlayStation 4, Xbox Series S/X, Xbox One, Nintendo Switch and PC on September 27, 2024. However, users who pre-order the Ultimate Edition will get access as early as September 20. Some players who need to Buy EA Sports FC 25 Coins can visit Z2U.COM (a professional game trading platform) to get an advanced look at the content of EA FC 25.