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New Post has been published on https://lovehaswonangelnumbers.org/karmic-tools-weekly-forecast-january-12-18-2020/

Karmic Tools Weekly Forecast: January 12 – 18, 2020

ByKelly M. Beard

The video version of this forecast, as read by Kelly, is available here.

The Karmic Tools Weekly Forecast covers the current planetary transits which affect people in different ways and to various degrees of intensity. Take notice when it is a Personal planet (Sun / Moon / Mercury / Venus / Mars) interacting with a Social (Jupiter/Saturn) or Collective planet (Uranus / Neptune/Pluto). And pay extremely close attention when it is a Social planet interacting with a Collective planet because that means something *big* is brewing that will move large groups of people along their evolutionary paths. Tuning in to the energy and rhythm of the planets can serve as a useful *guide* as you move along your Individual Path. It also helps to understand your place within the context of the larger Social & Collective Story. Below, you will find out how these energies tend to manifest, as well as guidance and direction.

*NOTE* There are some days when there are NO CONTACTS (besides the Moon), please note that there are no missing entries, we just list the actual Activations of each week + the day they happen.

Weekly Forecast: January 12 – 18, 2020

1/12 ~ Mercury (thought process) ~conjunct~ Saturn (definition of reality):

This energy is excellent for any important project that requires your undivided attention. If you’ve got a vision and have already outlined how to manifest it, now is the time to really fill in the blanks – flesh it out – bring it to life! Do the work! If you do not channel this energy toward patiently and methodically taking the steps (in order, with no shortcuts) so you can get to the next level, then it can manifest in frustration that you are not doing what you know in your heart you’re supposed to be doing at this time. That often leads to negative thinking and self-sabotage. A better expression would be to not think of the things that can go wrong, but entertain the possibility that every door opens and all paths lead to your goal, no matter how they appear in the moment.

1/12 ~ Mercury (mind, thoughts & ideas) ~conjunct~ Pluto (purification & transformation):

This activation takes you into the depths of your own mind & consciousness, deepening all communications. You may find yourself obsessing over something, either by yourself or in an attempt to convey something to another. Superficial, quick once-overs, trying to keep things ‘light’ will not likely be possible with this energy. You may feel determined to dig deeper until you get to the core or base issue. It’s good for soul-searching when it’s a genuine desire to know the truth, rather than to evade it. It’s not-so-good when you’re obsessing over someone or something which no longer serves you (or your Highest good). The challenge with this energy is the tendency to be really intense and locked-in on your own point of view, which is no less valid, but often this type of mental intensity blinds you to something obvious that you overlooked because you were not being objective, but being driven by much deeper (possibly unconscious) emotions. Your intensity is capable of influencing others but be aware of the difference between sharing information and trying to “convince, convert or cajole” others, as that can naturally attract challenges & opposition. Remember, the opposite can also be true, where you’re on the receiving end of this intense energy from someone else (trying to convince you of something). The best way to use this energy, as it doesn’t really last that long, is to turn that intensity toward Self, peel the layers to your own Truth & Purpose. The channels are open for a time and you can communicate and receive information from the deepest part of your SoulSelf. This is an Initiation.

1/12 ~ Saturn (structures, definitions & reality) ~conjunct~ Pluto (death, rebirth & transformation):

Here we have a Social (Saturn) and Collective (Pluto) planet creating a potent initiation that will likely have long-term influence on your personal life in many ways that only become clear a few years from now. This is an evolutionary process and those with Cancer/Capricorn & Aries/Libra are the ones with karmic ties to this combo. This is not a good versus bad thing, this is just a major Reality Check. I did a little digging and the last time Saturn conjuncted Pluto in Capricorn was 1518 and the last time they Initiated a new cycle was in 1982 in Libra. So they connect every 30-years or so thanks to Saturn’s pattern but Pluto makes it hard to connect in the same sign, so when they do, it symbolizes much more global effects. One thing that jumped out to me was that in the 1400’s it looks like lots of countries around the world wanted to be sovereign and be their own individual country and now we are living in a time when we realize how unrealistic or impractical human created borders can be. This is a time when we know we are all connected and we know that Earth’s resources have to sustain us all.

Saturn is here, in Capricorn, to ensure that this initiation is guided by the Council of Grandmothers who help us feminize the individual evolutionary process and collective revolutionary process. What does that mean? It means it is time to lead with honoring Nature, dealing with what is (not our illusions or delusions) and living in harmony with the Life/Death/Life Cycle. Both Saturn & Pluto do not allow things to live beyond their true usefulness. If all is energy, and certain energy is locked up or blocked so it cannot flow, that creates an unnatural death. If we simply honor that something is dead or done and clear it to bring in the new consciously, then we save ourselves a lot of heartache & trouble. We know that humans have lived in harmony with the Earth for millennia (I didn’t say with each other but they respected Nature) and in a few generations, our industrialization & colonization has created a crisis that we ALL have to address on some level if we are to survive. These two bring up these very real, very heavy-duty subjects and asks us all to face that which we’ve ignored overlong and finally clean it up and free up that energy to move.

An initiation catalyzes the NEW and you will know where your individual focus needs to be by the breakdowns going on in your life at this time. What no longer works for you? What is no longer real for you? And what has gotten so real that you have to rearrange your life to accommodate it? How are your containers supporting & protecting you? Where are the energy leaks? What shortcuts have you taken that will not work this time?

Ultimately, we are living through the ultimate transformation of our reality here on Earth. This is a chance to claim your vision of balance & harmony for Mother Earth, the waters and the soil that we cannot survive without. This year, you can co-create with this activation by simplifying your life, redefining your terms and renegotiating your contracts across the board. What have you agreed to in your heart and on paper that may have run its course by now and requires an upgrade or a new agreement altogether?

Note: This activation is joined by Ceres/The Mother – yet another indication of initiating new ways of nourishing ourselves and nurturing others that is up for renewal. In Capricorn, Ceres says it is time to be completely responsible for your footprint on this planet and it is time to look beyond your Self to see what you are actually contributing to the planet at this time. It really is a delicious opportunity for us ALL to start fresh, with new structures in place that honor everyone’s true purpose on Earth.

1/13 ~ Sun (source & essential Self) ~conjunct~ Pluto (purification & transformation):

This energy brings to mind a quote, “circumstances don’t make a man, they reveal him”. The Sun (ego) and Pluto (transformation) are connecting and you are often a different Being once this energy passes and the two planets separate again (they meet once a year). Pluto brings into the Light, aspects of our Selves which have been buried, neglected or ignored lately (or for some, a very long time). Sometimes that is miraculous & life-saving, and other times this can be arduous & exhausting, but it is completely natural. With this energy, you can now more fully access your Source (Sun) and transcend (Pluto) who you “used to be” and begin to truly embody who you are becoming. Bringing things into the Light comes in many forms, as you question all you thought you were or thought you knew about what you really want to express in this lifetime. You can use this as a Rebirth of Light within you or you can look at it as Light being brought to your deepest, darkest places within to heal them with pure Light. It is an initiation that often requires a release of some kind that, ultimately, allows you to grow & blossom in new, more authentic ways. As always, concentrated power (Pluto) must be responsibly directed, so watch any projections or provoked power struggles and pick your battles (everybody doesn’t like Light in their dark places). It’s time to question if the sacrifice you’re making is truly worth it? Relationships often strain under this influence because it is such *raw truth* rising from the Soul but it also brings things to the surface that are better addressed sooner than later. (Think The Tower card in Tarot.) It doesn’t have to be destroyed (or maybe it does) as much as it needs to be transformed (new form). Remember, breakdowns always precede the breakthroughs!!

1/13 ~ Sun (core-identity) ~conjunct~ Saturn (responsibility):

This energy gives you a strong dose of purpose & direction, but also reminds you that those big dreams require a solid foundation in order to flourish. The wheels that get set in motion this week are creating your future, for better or worse – so pay attention! While this is often about career matters, it is also about your responsibilities in general, the things you have to do that cannot be delegated to others. This is great energy for organizing and planning, creating order, and organizing your Self or your life in some way that fortifies your position. If you don’t “do the work” that you know you are supposed to be doing at the moment, you will only feel worse. So don’t delay anything that can, and probably should, be done sooner versus later. This energy can also make you feel a little lonely or depressed, don’t give in to that. There is a time to be out and about and time to get down to business. And right now, you have probably already put some things off and that is only going to contribute further to your stress levels. Make a list of things to do, prioritize them and start checking them off.

1/15 ~ Venus (relationships, love & money) ~sextile~ Uranus (clarity & inspiration):

This energy, thanks to Uranus, activates a certain spark of electricity in the air. New relationships will have an unusual aspect to them and old ones can break-to-realign in a positive, even fun way with this energy. No monotonous routine, humdrum people or boring collaborations with this one. Use it to access your unique genius and deep well of creativity and then share if you can, with other like-hearted Souls. Take advantage of this energy to tap into areas you may not have realized were available to you before now. Keep it light and upbeat; socialize and enjoy the experience of different people or new activities. Keep in mind, however, any relationships begun this week may not be based on qualities needed for long term survival. It is more a time to enjoy the people and experiences that pass through at this time and accept it as a gift!

1/18 ~ Mercury (lower mind & ideas) ~square~ Uranus (Higher Mind & awakening):

This energy challenges you to expand your mind or consciousness in a way, pushing you to think differently and respond to information in new ways. Uranus brings sudden ah-ha moments, personal awareness and radical new ideas, which is great for you adventurous souls who thrive on change and new ideas. However, if you are personally attached to your routine and things ‘going as planned’, then this energy can cause aggravation and tax your nervous system because things will seem sudden (even though it is more likely that they have already been brewing under the surface for some time now). You will have to adjust and be more open & mentally flexible than usual. You may not be able to control the excessive mental activity or information-overload coming in, but hopefully you can direct it a bit. It’s good to activate or clean your personal filters by taking some time in nature to process things at your own pace and generally clear your head. This can be a very inspiring & creative time, so try to tune into that, while keeping in mind that anything you begin or get into, may require a review later so you can check over the details of your revelations (or creations). You’re just cracking the surface, this is all about the revelation or awakening, you will eventually have to figure out the logistics or effective actions necessary to bring your ideas into form.

******

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shibyn · 6 years ago

Text

and the wind sounds like the world’s sigh

persona 4 & 5 | shiho-centric, investigation team Near the end of May, Shiho transfers to a sleepy town called Inaba for a fresh start. However, Inaba isn’t the sleepy town her parents thought would be best for her— its on edge with unsolved mysteries, and Shiho finds that there’s a bit more behind what meets the eye regarding some of her classmates and a TV screen.

chapter 3 | 5.7k | ao3

She doesn't know if she's envious or glad for them.

Maybe she's envious because her teammates weren't given the same slack. Not in the slightest. She wonders if Yui's arm was set properly, or if Inuoka's shoulder healed fully. She wonders if any of them can be in the gymnasium without feeling a phantom ache in their joints. Wonders if any of them are better now that he's been shipped off to jail. Wonders if they can still play volleyball and still be able to breathe.

She realizes very quickly there is very little to do in Inaba. Not for the first time and certainly not the last, Shiho longs for Tokyo. She doesn't think a lifetime spent in Tokyo would be enough time to do everything there. The city's always bustling, always changing, always growing-- there's always something new, something to try. Ann was there, too, always bounding by her side, leading her to a new place to go to. Inaba has a river, a shrine, an inn, and a market. There are plenty of mom-and-pop stores, plenty of tiny businesses that take up a sixteenth of a street block. In a week, Shiho has already scoured through nearly all of them. It's probably something her parents overlooked, too. They're restless, itching for more motion and more activity and just more than what this tiny place offers. They're no different from her-- they lived in Tokyo longer than she's been alive, and they've been through the growth of Tokyo. There's no way they don't long for the gray and musty streets over the clear and small roads here at least every now and then. They're making friends with the locals, because that's all there really is to do. They get jobs, her mom at an antique shop, her dad a carpenter. Maybe they're getting used to the rural air, maybe not-- she wonders if they've considered moving back to Tokyo once she's graduated and shipped off to a college, or if they'll come to like this place and live here from now on. They find their own ways to burn the day away. It unluckily lines up with the time Shiho has school, and they're home whenever she gets to the house. In the late afternoon, their house is quiet even though there are people in it. She wonders what her parents think when she gets home later and later, purposely avoiding being in a house where guilty gazes weigh down on her shoulders, the tension in the air that makes her suffocate. With little to do in Inaba, she very quickly runs out of things to keep her occupied while she prolongs the time she gets home. There's only so much a friendless, penniless teenager could do. Maybe she could get a job to get money and to take up time, or maybe even join a club at school, but then it'll tie her down to this place. Frequently, she wishes Ann was here. She'd be able to make the best of this place. Even with the cheerful chatter and encouraging words from the near-constant buzzing of her phone, it will never match up to being actually with her. She's a little envious of Ryuji and Akira, who get to see her daily. She's glad they're friends. More often than not, she ends up hanging around the school grounds. She's already gone through the town, but she doesn't have money of her own, and she doesn't want to deal with the off-chance she'll come across her parents in public. It's past the end of the day, and the other students head off to club activities or to head home. Usually she's left in peace. She finds some place to burn time in-- usually its the library (she finally found it-- it was on the second floor this whole time, she just passed it by mistake), where few students linger in after hours and even fewer try to speak to her. Other students still keep trying to talk to her, and she knows she should try to act like a normal person and respond properly, but her tongue feels like gauze when she opens it and her stomach sinks because she can't even act like she wants to be here. The library gives her the solitude she needs from the other students, but it's also too quiet, too soundless, too similar to the home she's avoiding, and it closes a couple hours earlier than the school does. So then she wanders around until she knows its safe to enter town without seeing her parents, or until school closes. Around this time, very little students are around, the only ones being in clubs or practice for sports. She can wander without interruption until her legs begin to ache, the pain beneath her kneecaps too strong, and usually ends up sitting on a bench until they decide to work like how she wants them to. She wears the knee brace. It makes no damn difference whether or not she wears it-- the weather and the hills are a killer combo. She only wears it because her parent asked it of her. She'd rather go without it, even though she knows she wouldn't be able to move as much as she is, because her classmates will peer at it and she can see the questions on the tips of their tongues. She rubs her knee absently. The sky's clear for the most part, spotted with occasional clouds. The bench she ended up on has a clear view of the practice building and the lot in front of it, one that the Soccer team is using for a practice game. Some seem dearly invested in their little game, some don't. Something settles heavy in her gut. It's something like dread, an itch-- it's not a good feeling, and she shifts restlessly to quell it. They're... They're not trying. Won't their coach be angry that they're not trying--? She looks around, but there's no coach scrutinizing the players. No coach barking out orders that are do or die. They're allowed to slack. A breath leaves her in a rush, one she didn't realize she was holding. She doesn't know if she's envious or glad for them. Maybe she's envious because her teammates weren't given the same slack. Not in the slightest. She wonders if Yui's arm was set properly, or if Inuoka's shoulder healed fully. She wonders if any of them can be in the gymnasium without feeling a phantom ache in their joints. Wonders if any of them are better now that he's been shipped off to jail. Wonders if they can still play volleyball and still be able to breathe. But maybe she's glad-- they don't have to experience what Shujin volleyball players went through. She's glad some of them look like they're enjoying what they're doing. There's claps on the backs, encouraging shouts, beaming grins. She wishes those were a part of the volleyball practices she was in, but finds that she's glad someone else can enjoy themselves. — Ann [7:43 P.M.] u remember that time u said my art was shit Shiho [7:43 P.M.] you never let me forget Ann [7:43 P.M.] :/ ANYWAYS i think ive gotten better being around yusuke has like,, helped me realize im better than u say Shiho [7:44 P.M.] we were seven of course you were awful Ann [7:44 P.M.] STILL!! Shiho finds herself rolling her eyes. Yusuke was a recent addition to Ann's mismatched group of friends-- an eccentric artist who goes to Kousei rather than Shujin. It's a wonder how they met, more-less even meet up outside of school. She's glad there's another to the list of Ann's friends-- even if it was a bit rocky in the start, if what Ann's told her is true. The neighborhood is quiet for the most part. Well. It's always quiet, really. But it's particularly silent today-- absently, she realizes that she's coming home later than she usually would. The daylight's already waning, and people have already retreated home for dinner. She wonders if she's missed dinner herself. Her parents haven't said much about how late she's been getting home. She doesn't know if they think she's in a club or something, or if they know she's just loitering instead of coming home. They don't say much to her these days. She's not sure if they've finally gave up on idle awkward conversations or not. Shiho [7:44 P.M.] is his overflowing creativity influencing you?? Ann [7:44 P.M.] hopefully maybe ill send u a nice ole portrait, yeah? Shiho [7:45 P.M.] it better be done in glitter pens or I dont want it!! The house isn't quiet when she steps in. The TV is on for once, after a week of frustrating difficulty with hooking it up properly. There's the sound of dishes moving in the kitchen, clinking of porcelain on the counters, and ah. She hasn't missed dinner. "Is that you, Shiho?" her mom calls out. She peering down the hall and directly spots her, standing in the foyer uncertainly. "Welcome back. We're having japchae." "Ah. Alright," Shiho says absently. Japchae's a sit down meal in this household. She can't escape to her room with a bowl of it-- she'll be stuck at the table. She feels guilty with the way her shoulders tense and her legs don't move, because family dinner shouldn't stress her out this much. You're worrying over nothing, she thinks forcefully, and quietly takes off her shoes and sets down her bag. Both of her parents are in the kitchen, her dad working on the setting the table, her mom with the japchae. They're seemingly content, weaving around each other and keeping pace in a conversation. They like this kitchen much more than their old one-- much more space, apparently, and the countertops are a lot prettier than the dull tan of the old apartment. She feels out of place, standing there, so she takes a seat even though she's antsy. In no time, everything is set out on the table. Her parents sit across from each other, and she's stuck in the middle of them. The TV's volume has been lowered at some point, to a level that it's just a background noise that keeps the house from being overwhelmed by silence. It's quiet at the table, though the dishes move and clink, and brief words of 'can you pass me the plate' and 'do you want seconds,' its quiet. There's no continuation of the conversation they were having in the kitchen earlier, even though it seemed like it could span on longer from what she could hear of it. Shiho's skin prickles at the silence, cause it's not exactly tense-- it's more calculating, more waiting for the proper time to speak and not seem off about it. She wishes that eating her food quick wouldn't be seen as rude, or as a way to escape. "So, how's school been, kiddo?" Her dad starts, breaking the ice. He actually makes eye contact with her. He doesn't glance away, avert his eyes-- it throws her off. There's very little guilt in his eyes, the kind that she's seen so much of in the past month. She can't tell if this conversation is genuine, or if he feels bad for not talking to her as much as a parent should. Shiho feels her phone buzz in her pocket. It's probably Ann. She breathes in. "Like... Like how school normally is, I guess. Not interesting?" Her mom blinks at her. "So you haven't had any problems catching up?" Two months. She missed two months of school. (Her life, too). It's two months of stuff for all of her classes-- and the curriculum is different here. It would be basically starting from scratch. She struggled, and is still struggling-- it takes a lot to cram so much stuff missed into the time she has, and on top of that, learn what's being taught at the moment. She hasn't told them she's basically given up on catching up. "Not really," she smiles something sheepish, something not really a smile. It'll work out most likely. She'll just have to cram more for the exams. "Just a little splotchy, I guess. There's a few things here that they learned that they didn't teach at Shujin." "Ah. Have you asked for help from classmates or teachers?" Her mom questions. She's paused from eating. Not a good sign. She wants to have a conversation, now that she's got Shiho trapped under obligation for family dinners. She debates lying. She's kept away from talking with anyone at school. It doesn't feel right to-- she doesn't exactly want to see their faces shift ever so slightly when she asks, coming something closer to pity towards her. She doesn't want to start, because then they'll come across the face that she doesn't know all that much anymore, and they'll ask why, and she cannot. Cannot. Let any of these students know of why she left Shujin. But her parents know she's been getting back late. They might want her to come home earlier to study more if she says she's avoided getting help. "Sometimes," she settles with. It's an answer that'll keep them from pushing. The atmosphere shifts. She doesn't know if its for better or for worse, or if her parents are coming onto something. The dining table feels more like an interrogation table, and she just wishes that it wasn't rude to get up, clean her dishes, and flee. "Have you joined any clubs, yet? Maybe considered any?" her dad prompts, because her mom is gnashing her teeth quietly, maybe trying to see if there was any underlying context or hints in her single word response. They know she can't play sports anymore. They know. It's a blaring reminder on the forefront of their mind, every breathing second they look at her, because they see the old bruises and bandages and the leg brace when they didn't see before. They also know she can't paint, she can't sing, she can't act, she can't play an instrument, she can't do much of anything except volleyball and that had been torn from her hands. "Um, no, not... not really," Shiho trails. She sees the question between the lines in bold text. Why are you coming home so late. They know she doesn't have anything to do. She doesn't have Ann here. There's nothing in town to do. She's not in a club, she doesn't have a job. They probably have the sneaking suspicion she doesn't have friends, either. She doesn't know if they're blaming themselves for that. Her phone buzzes again, quietly, like a reassurance. She tries to harbor the confidence Ann has for her. "I've. I've been helping around the school n stuff." Her mouth tastes like ash. She hasn't. She hasn't given Yasogami more thought that it deserves. "Kinda... y'know, helping organize the library." If you stretch it till its paper thin, you could possibly call it a truth. Occasionally she'll pick up an left behind book and put it back where it belongs. She really only sits and burns time in the library rather than voluntarily go out and help around. But its so far from what she's saying, and her knuckles creak on the edge of her seat. "Ah, so a library helper!" Her mom latches onto this, eyes twinkling. Shiho smiles sheepishly. "Sure. Yeah. Somewhat." All she can taste is ash, and she tries to eat some more, but it tastes like nothing. It's good to lie sometimes, right? Some lies are good. White lies. Her parents have been so cautious around her-- she doesn't think she can handle them if she was truthful. She doesn't think she can handle their gentle words, their encouragements, their earnest pleas of please try because she can't help simmering on the idea that they're only trying so hard to make up for when they overlooked bruises that couldn't have come from just volleyball practice. To make up for not realizing that one morning she planned on not returning home that day. The rest of dinner fades into the back of her mind. Her dad starts talking about his old job as a librarian years ago, and her mom bounces back with stories of her own. She eats absently, her arms and legs and body so heavy with the brush of guilt. After washing the dishes, she leaves politely, having dipped out of the conversation a while ago. Her legs ache when she goes to her room and flops onto her bed. For a moment, she just lies there, letting her nerves settle into something manageable. She mourns for the time she could eat peacefully with her parents. She pulls her phone out absently. The case is peeling. She might need a new one soon. Ann [7:45 P.M.] as if i would draw with anything else that's not glitter u insult me jfjlsdfj just got takoyaki its crazy good ill drag u here to get some its?? not greasy enough to kill my appetite for once !! Shiho [8:01 P.M.] sorry had to eat damn who convinced you to eat takoyaki usually you'd look at me like i was asking ya to die if i suggested it :// Ann [8:01 P.M.] yusuke wanted to try some dude only eats cup noodles, can u believe it!! i feel like... completely obligated to expand his horizons Shiho [8:02 P.M.] holy shit only cup noodles? how has he not died of sodium?? Ann [8:02 A.M.] art jesus might be lookin down on him well maybe not he aint doing a good job keeping yusuke from spending all his goddam money on art. supplies thats the only reason he really eats cup noodles he broke i might have to teach him the ways of budgeting Shiho [8:02 P.M.] ah yes you takamaki ann the one who most definitely does not spend all of her allowance on clothes the day she gets it Ann [8:02 P.M.] why cant u let me dream — Maybe the best part about being quiet and fading into the background is that she learns a lot about the people around her. She knows her seat mate plays clarinet and really sucks at science, the boy in the front row two from the window works with his parents at an old liquor store and may or may not have brought some to school, the buzzcut boy who comes in during lunch to eat with the boy directly in front of her is crushing hard on a third year and plans on asking her out, and the girl with the red cardigan in the middle row is the daughter of Amagi Inn and was missing for a week just last month. She seems fine and dandy for having been missing. Shiho doesn't know if she can take it as a sign that Tatsumi Kanji will be found and be okay-- if she's fine, he might be too, right? It doesn't help that in the same line of conversation she's listening in on she learns of two recent murders of a news reporter and a student at Yasogami. With the way people of Inaba are so gossip-y, she's kinda surprised and alarmed she didn't hear about this from day one. She only learned of Tatsumi from a policeman-- would she have never heard of him if it weren't for that encounter? And-- the policeman didn't say anything about the murders. She personally thinks that would be the number one thing to tell people, especially those who just moved there, that yes, there was most definitely someone going around Inaba killing and kidnapping people. Two murders and two missing cases. Nothing happens here-- shouldn't that be the talk of the town or something? Maybe everyone was so used to each other that they just couldn't believe that someone decided to turn a new leaf and go nuts, or they're all just very good at acting like there was nothing disrupting their quiet routine of the countryside. Shiho wonders if her parents are even vaguely aware of this. They-- they have to be, right? They talk with the townsfolk much more than she does. It could be that the reason Shiho didn't know was because she just doesn't talk to people. But-- they still let her roam free after school (though she isn't doing what they think she's doing). Her dad had been so tense after the encounter with the police officer, too-- the prospect of kidnapping and missing high school kids is one hell of a detour from the fresh new start they thought Inaba could provide. Surely that would have made them more worried--? And, now that she thinks of it; she doesn't know how much it affects Inaba overall. She doesn't know how many students go straight home after school, or how many families are on edge. She doesn't know if relationships are more tense, because the killer and kidnapper is somewhere, but who? She feels like a creep for glancing over to the girl with the red cardigan, but what the hell. She laughs with her group of friends, eyes crinkled and nose scrunched until her laugh becomes closer to an ugly laugh. Would she have seen whoever it was? She-- she had to, right? Shiho adverts her eyes. This town is weird, is what she settles on. "Ah-- Suzui-san?" Startled, she looks up. It's her seat mate's friend. She has long hair and teardrop-shaped eyes, and distantly reminds Shiho of a classmate from Shujin. It's enough to make her long for that goddamn school, with its stupid cursed hallways, cursed classrooms. "Yes?" Shiho says belatedly, realizing a moment late that she's meant to respond. The girl doesn't seem to mind, though-- she smiles politely, and Shiho tries to not feel silly. "Have you joined any clubs, yet?" she asks airly. Shiho pauses and wonders why is this the question of the week. She misreads Shiho's brief silence as something else, and adds on quickly, "I, uh, I've got the responsibility of recruiting for the girl's soccer team, and if you're interested..." Ah. Shiho smiles, even though she becomes conscious of the thudding ache in her legs. She's touched, honestly, even though it's a thing she can never partake in, because the other still asked and that's really really nice of her. She wanted to try playing soccer, once. "Ah, um. I'm sorry," she starts, and the other deflates slightly. "I-- I would, honestly, but the weather around here's been making my legs act up. I don't think I'd be able to play reliably..." The other girl smiles sheepishly and grows flustered. Her seat mate blinks in surprise, having listened in but not disruptively. "No, I totally understand! Leg injuries are awful-- sorry, I didn't realize..." she rubs the back of her neck. Shiho waves away the apology, "It's no problem, I, I don't exactly wear my knee brace as much as I should." The doctors told her to keep from doing too much physical activity, as it always had the chance of old wounds becoming agitated and unbearable. The hills around here were enough of a hike to strain the idea of physical activity. "Woah, what did you even do?" her seat mate asks, too blunt and a little too loudly. It brings the attention of some students, who look over curiously to what she's asking. She glances down openly towards Shiho's knee, the one with the brace fit snuggly over it. Her friend swipes at her arm, chastising her, saying its rude. Shiho's shoulders pull in at all the attention. She shrugs. "Bad fall." — It definitely says something when one of the biggest things in Inaba is the department store. Especially one that has possibly the most grating jingles around. She doesn't know where to start. Clutched in her hand is a grocery list from her mom, who had smiled sheepishly and handed it to her a handful of minutes after she got home. Junes was only a long walk away, it's not like she could refuse. It wasn't a long list, but this place is fairly huge-- she hopes she doesn't spend more than an hour here. She must've come in at some kind of rush hour-- there's enough people in here that she occasionally has to wedge by a couple people standing and chatting in the middle of the isle, which really sucks because sometimes they're standing in front of the things she needs and she does not have the guts to tell someone to take their conversation elsewhere because they're standing in front of the stupid chives. Tthe further into the store she gets, the less people she sees. Then again, she feels like she's getting more and more lost-- this place is impossibly big. Its so dim and spacious and the music is so distant if she didn't know any better she'd think she was in a twilight zone of some sort. Must be the lighting or something. Maybe the music? Or maybe the way that every isle looks basically the same? It definitely competes with the 777s she used to visit in the middle of the night. Now those were definitely liminal spaces. Even though 777s were gross and small and usually understocked, it was probably the place Shiho went to the most besides home and school. It had the food her parents sent her out to get last minute, and it was the place where the slushie machines were. Although she swore up and down that she was on a terrible strict diet, Ann always wanted to get some kind of slushie at the 777 if they weren't around the crepe shop in Shibuya. The cashier recognized them, even told them what flavors were out when they came in. They weren't even that good-- they just happen to be cheap and sweet, and that's all it really takes to be a godsend at one in the morning. Wasn't there some sort of food court near the entrance of this place? Maybe they have a slushie machine? Hopefully they're not too uppity about the machine so she could make unfathomable combos of flavors that should not be mixed. Even if those slushies make her teeth ache from artificial flavoring and gross amounts of sugar, she's craving one now that she's thinking about it. Shiho sighs, grabbing a small bag of rice and absently checking her phone. It was quiet, the screen devoid of messages from either Ann or her parents. Her parents' silence she could understand-- they preferred to call. But Ann? Ann's been crazy busy recently-- modeling gigs usually don't take all that long, do they? Shiho wonders, looking up in thought. She once wanted to tag along and watch what its like, but Ann had been so adamant on her not going because her coworker was a bitch or something along that line. Maybe some days the shoots are longer...? And it crosses her. I wonder if they have any magazines with her in it around here! She thinks, smiling at the idea of it. There's probably magazine stands near the check out, or somewhere else in this store. She just needs to get two more things and then she can go--! There is a child down the isle, looking up longingly towards some pudding cups that are most definitely out of her reach. Shiho stops. And she looks. Looks for a while. What the hell. This kid cannot be older than six, and she is standing alone in a department store. Alone. Sure, the store's full of cameras and people to witness, but isn't it dangerous to leave a kid unattended? Maybe she's lost? No-- she looks surefooted, somehow, for a six year old. Maybe her parent stepped into another isle, accidentally leaving her to linger in front of the pudding...? She is giving the pudding the look of a life time-- there is so much longing in her eyes. How in the hell can there be so much want in a kid's eyes? The only way she would be able to reach the pudding is by climbing the shelves, and she looks too nervous to try, but Shiho knows the kid seriously considered doing it at some point. Shiho shuffles her feet. She's got to do something about this kid being alone, right? It's the proper thing to do, isn't it? It wouldn't sit right in her stomach if she left the kid to her own devices if she actually was lost or left behind. Ah-- but what if she freaks out? Shiho doesn't think she looks scary, but children are unpredictable and being approached by anyone when scared is a catalyst to a meltdown. Then again, this kid doesn't look scared or lost. So, maybe... "Um," she finds herself starting, a bit weak. The girl didn't hear her. "Uh. Do you need any help?" Large brown eyes turn to her. The little girl has pigtails and possibly one of the most mixed emotion looks she's ever seen. It's caught somewhere between distraught and sorrowful, and it's probably because she's maybe two feet too short from being able to reach those pudding cups. She looks back towards the top shelves slowly. "Um. If it wouldn't be much trouble..." she says, voice quiet and high and looks away shyly. She looks really put out from her inability to reach up that high. In three long strides, Shiho stands next to the little girl and reaches up, shifting the basket in her arms so it doesn't knock into the kid's head. "These?" she asks, hand hovering just in front of the special, limited edition chocolate swirl pudding. The girl nods a yes, and Shiho hands it to her. She holds it like its made of pure gold, and it's really cute to see how enamored she is with it. "Hey, um," Shiho starts, pulling the girl's attention from the pack. It's some kind of social obligation to help lonely kids in stores, right? No one really had a protocol to follow when doing it, and she doesn't want to scare the kid off. "Are you alone?" Shiho asks, trying not to feel awkward under the curious look of this kid. She winces, because that sounded really weird, much weirder than she thought it would be. The little girl, surprisingly, frowns, like she's not sure of the answer. "No. Yes. Kinda? Big Bro said I could get some pudding if I wanted to. He's at the check out right now." "He let you come all the way here by yourself?" She isn't sure what kind of brother this dude is, but honestly? Would it kill him to come with his younger sister to get some pudding? It couldn't be that much of a pain to do. The girl looks to the pudding pack in her hands sheepishly. "I said I could. The lines were long at check out and I didn't want to lose our spot so I said I could find it..." What the hell are kids. What the hell is this kid in particular, for she's being crazy grown-up for her mere age of possibly-six. Shiho looks to the basket she's carrying. She still hasn't gotten panko or oats, but she can put that aside for another day. She kinda wants to just help this kid now. "Um. I was just about to go to check out. Do you want me to walk with you back to find your brother?" she asks lightly, hopefully not being creepy. Thankfully, a small, shy smile comes onto the girl's face, and she nods. The girl looks around absently as they go through the isles, eyes lingering on brightly-packaged items. She clutches the pudding like a life-line, though sometimes she looks like she wants to grab something else but quickly retains herself. Shiho is quite honestly charmed by how bright-eyed she is. "Is that your favorite flavor of pudding?" Shiho asks in lieu of conversation, though they shouldn't be far from the check-out. The girl blinks and looks down accordingly to the packaging. She looks at it with an intensity to it, as if she's thinking deeply about the question. "I dunno! I haven't tried that many, but I do like this one." She looks up with blinking doe eyes. "What's your favorite, miss?" They walk out of the isles, and ah, good, there's the check-out. Thank god she remembered the way to the check-out. The girl wasn't wrong-- the lines are pretty lengthy. She wouldn't want to give up a spot in the queues either. "I think I like the caramel chocolate ones," Shiho says absently, peering towards the lines, trying to see anyone who may be this kid's 'Big Bro.' The little girl seems to be doing the same, bowing over and swiveling her head around, and then perks up. "I see him!" she nearly squeals, and hurries down towards the line. Shiho follows at a much slower pace though she probably doesn't need to, but she just wants to make sure the girl's alright. She watches as her brown pigtails bounce as she turns into a register lane, watches as a bright smile grows on her face. The girl stops in front of someone, who had just started putting the things in their basket onto the conveyer belt. Shiho looks up, and-- Small world, huh, she thinks, but then feels dumb because it's a small town and of course she's going to see her classmates outside of class at some point. It's the silver-haired boy, the one that sits in the middle of the classroom. He's friends with the red-cardigan girl, and the two brunettes who stood up for Kanji Tatsumi the first day she was at Yasogami. She doesn't know anything about him. The girl beams up to him, and he smiles something soft back to her. Taking the pudding pack with deft fingers and placing it on the conveyer belt, he nods and listens to the girl chattering to him. After a moment, the girl spins around, easily spying Shiho as if purposely looking for her, and waves. Shiho waves back and then gives a thumbs up, which seems to make the little girl more excited. She looks up from the girl and makes eye contact with her classmate. He blinks-- either in surprise, or maybe she's just trying to read too deeply into things that don't mean anything. He bows his head towards her, perhaps in thanks, and then turns back to the register. Shiho bows back even though he's not looking at her, feels stupid, and since she's already here, steps into the queue.

#persona 5 #p5 #persona 4 #p4 #persona #shiho suzui #seta souji #yu narukami #ann takamaki #just realized italics don't transfer well :(

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seenashblog · 6 years ago

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Nash Watches & Rates Cheesy Hallmark & Lifetime Winter Movies So You Don’t Have To

a.k.a. - Nash Records Her Viewings Of Hallmark & Lifetime Winter Movies, which are fanfic in visual form & are gold. And yes, it’s a apparently a legit sub-genre. Best I can tell, if it’s not Christmas or Valentines, and there’s snow, then it goes. Spoilers abound.)

Note: This adventure has been moved to here from my main blog @seenashwrite, so my SPN peeps can rest assured they’ll not be exposed to this any longer - I have a feeling I’ll not be done purging my soul for a while yet #bless my heart

As per last time during the Christmas round-ups, 4 and 5 stars mean the best of the lot, 3 stars means it’s not necessarily a waste of your time, 2 stars is up to your discretion, and 1 star means it is time you will never get back.

Winter's Dream (Kristy Hot Damn Swanson, Dean Mothafukkin' Cain - Hallmark)

With it packing this level of stardom, how can it go wrong? Understand that I can take or leave Dean Cain, but Kristy Swanson is the shit.

The official summary/another summary from somewhere:

When a former ski champion re-enters the competitive world after a 16-year-old downhill racer asks for help, she finds a new love and reawakens an old passion.

Former pro skier, Kat, is asked to coach a younger skier, named Anna, and finds love with the girl's widowed father, Ty.

These are both kinda garbage summaries - I mean, they're accurate, but it doesn't paint the whole picture. There's nothing really to spoil, and though it hits a couple things on a winter bingo (still forthcoming), they're more the Hallmark staples, such as the kid (in this case, a really great teen gal who's a good actress) who brings people together, and that the lodge/the resort is in danger of being lost, and somebody teaches somebody else how to skate, and that shit, but the bottom line is it's a fine watch. It's not spectacular, but it's not dipped in cheese, and there's some really pretty shots of the skiing (especially something they do at the end), plus kudos for the body doubles (the ones doing the actual skiing) were spot-on, and the teen actress did an impressive end-of-run stop at one point, you know it's her because she immediately whips off her mask.

Bottom line, this movie woulda been ass if not for Swanson and Cain, who didn't have greeeeat chemistry, though they made it work. In any event, the script was solid - like I say, not a great deal of cheese and any lines that were aren't sticking out to me because they were delivered so well - so I'm actually gonna rate this one decently high.

4/5 stars

Love on the Sidelines (this dude who's been in three movies I've seen so far, John Reardon, and some basic blonde chick who is vaguely familiar - Hallmark)

This isn’t technically a winter one, I don’t think, but it’s on, so it counts.

So they try to throw you from the get-go with "Is injured dude gonna be the love interest which is totally inappropriate since he's her boss and clearly got about 12 years on her and has made multiple patronizing comments to her, about how physically strong she is and about her classic car and about her abilities in general, or is it the other dude on the team who took an immediate interest in her and has thus far been polite and respectful and friendly and flirty?"

(By the way, main dude has cock-blocked his friend, but he has a model girlfriend [who is styled to be a stereotype from extensions to heels] and it's also shown he has no idea about stuff she likes/is into, such as her favorite flowers - but chick knew because she had 'em out for their romantic dinner. That's right, it's part of her assistant duties - and she's supposed to be helping him with activities of daily living stuff - is to prep his bone zones.)

If they make dude #2 turn out to be a douche and that main dude is somehow awesome underneath all his shit----- what am I saying, of course they are. The latter, that is. You know I'm right. Hundred percent.

People are like losing their chickens over this jersey she's tailored to be a "girl fit" - you know what I mean, it's not a box with sleeves, there's tailoring to it, so the sleeves aren't so ginormous and it's tapered on the sides. This jersey's been the topic of about three interactions thus far and we're only 40 minutes (so 30 mins airtime) in. They're all "Wow!" and "This is so creative!" and "My wife would love that, where'd you get it!" Y'all, google for this, that type of jersey, I mean. [pause] Nevermind, here:

I put in the mystical combo of "women's NFL football jersey".

THIS IS REVOLUTIONARY

Hey, and heh-heh.... quick bonus....

WHYENNE!!!! THAT BITCH IS EVERYWHERE

But hey, how else would we know that fashion design is her passion? Scriptin' be hard, yo. Speaking of her clothes skillz - "I think there's more to him," she says to BFF, whose wedding dress she's fitting. First, *eyeroll*. Second, if your friend is trying to watch a football game and learn the basics, don't let them fit you for your farging wedding at the same time. Which is what is happening.

There's twinkly magical music when his hand runs over hers when they're both searching under the couch, feeling around for his dropped cell phone.

*more eyeroll*

I do like the car, it's a red Mustang.... early 70s, maybe?.... but I can say I don't care for the shade of red, it's a little too cherry popsicle or hooker scarlet lipstick.

(My dream car is probs a Mustang muscle in black, but as far as zoom-zooms go, I tell ya, a friend of mine had a Porsche Boxster, and What. A. Ride., and he'd offered to teach me how to drive stick on it - not a euphemism, I swear, I was 16, my dad was his mentor, he's like the child my father never had - I'M A HUGE DISAPPOINTMENT OKAY - so like my big brother, and anyhow, it was so beautiful I gasped at the very thought. But sweet babby jeebus, those suckers are smooth rides. None of this matters.)

Anyway, she keeps having trouble starting it, and I can tell by the sound it isn't the alternator, nor is it the battery, nor is it a belt, nor is she flooding the engine. I know fuck-all about cars as a general rule, but I know those sounds because I've experienced all of them. It has now gone to commercial, as he's just looked under the hood and announced after 3.8 seconds "Yup, I think I see your problem." He must have x-ray vision. I am on pins-and-needles, shivering with anticipation.

Back from commercial, he's shutting the hood and she's saying "Wow you did it!" and wiping grease from his face. He's got an absolutely wrecked calf/ankle/foot (and straight up, they've done a good job making it all seem legit, props to... well, props... and make-up), but you're telling me he was standing and bent over long enough to get all greasy, and he's supposed to be - most of the time - either sitting or standing with that bitch elevated. This was stupid. This was a stupid, wholly unnecessary scene. Oh except we find out - because it's visible in the back seat - that she's read his children's book.

That's right. He's written a children's book.

Dude's mom: "I think he's dating the wrong type of women". Subtle, screenwriters, subtle. Now he's sneaking and working out. I really hope they show his ankle buckling out at a wicked angle. I'm gross like that. Twinkly music plays as she waits for him in the locker room while he's in with the sports trainer because he shouldn't have been working out.

Forgot to mention there's an awesome dog, this really beautiful Dane, and of course it loves her and hates Stereotype, because reasons for him to go ga-ga. She's honestly not bad, I have zero issue with the actress, nor with this actor, they're actually both good, but between the music and this script, I'm fighting over what rating to give it. (Checks clock) Welp, the next 45 minutes should tell me. It's dragging ass, I'll tell you that, though.

Like, nothing's happened. Nothing. He has an injury, she's his new personal assistant. I can list traits they each have. I've seen groups of moments. I don't know what the story is. Is it just "they get closer and fall in lurve"? That's... not a story. That's a series of facts. People meet their partners/spouses via the workplace all the time. What's the plot? What's the conflict? The obstacles? The tension? The OOMPH, I'd call it, is missing. This is what kills me about most fanfic - they just tell me stuff, they aren't showing me a new perspective or a twist or a unique take or differing interpretation that's still supported by canon, or an inventive plot that or what-the-hell-ever. Dean and Whyenne were in the bunker and they researched and they cooked and they talked about Cas and Sam, and they argued about her going on a hunt, then they kissed, the end! That's not a story, that's a daydream. I've digressed.

Now he's texted her "the emergency code" while she's at her best friend's wedding, and turns out it's because he's cranky because his sister said he's got to learn how to not be the center of attention. And she - I am proud to say - lets. Him. Have. It. Part of what she says is - Can you do *anything* for yourself?! And he goes - This! And he kisses her, and it takes her off guard, but then they go for it, and I am actually happy for them.

Shit. I still hate that this isn't a story, but holy hell the difference when some conflict is introduced. Ahhhhhmazeballs. Conflict, however minor, is what shows us who these people we're watching/reading really are - and no, conflict does not mean angst, nor does it mean some sort of heart-breaking, can't-take-it-back fight, nor does it mean life-and-death, just divergent paths or opinions is all it takes. I've digressed again.

My interest is piqued because we have a half-hour to go, and typically this is how Hallmark blows their wad in the last fifteen.

[time passes]

Okay, a couple things turned out decent. Y'all will *love* what the best friend pulls at the end, and she and her hubby have been great throughout, but this one particular thing was clutch. And everybody had chemistry, family and friends and romance alike. It just can't help the lack of story, and I really detest the manner in which they made lead dude a jerk - there's other ways to do that besides going the lazy route, a.k.a. being sexist. It's not as bad as a two (a.k.a. - this is a matter of taste), because there's some objectively good stuff.... on the other hand, my lord is dragged. So I'm going with a three, because it's a toss-up as to whether you're gonna really like it, or think "Meh".

3/5 Stars

One Winter Weekend / One Winter Proposal (Taylor Cole, some other people - Hallmark)

So the former was in last year's winter line-up, the latter in this one. Taylor Cole played Sarah Blake on SPN. I see she's also on deck for some detective thing on Hallmark Movies & Mysteries.

And.... that's all I got to say about that.

I genuinely tried to watch these. They played them back-to-back, and speaking of backs, mine was acting up so I was laid out, and I thought - all right, this'll kill some time. And I fell asleep at 6 p.m., y'all. I took ibuprofen, I was not getting liquored up, I slept plenty the night before, and I fell the fuck to sleep. These movies are boring as fuck.

I saw no sparks, and there were two couples from which to divine said spark. The co-lead chick was incredibly annoying, she plays everything too perky, and it's really evident in scenes with her romantic interest, who is a good actor and came off completely naturally. Actually, he should've been the main-main male lead, I bet he'd have had great chemistry with Cole, who's a better actor than the dude they had her paired with, but I say all that to say, the script was... meh. The pacing of both movies was weird, and the conflicts that were in them (see above for discussion on what conflict in stories actually is) were nothingburgers. It was stupid. Don't waste your time, seriously.

1/5 stars

We interject for a non-review that needs to be mentioned. Oh, Lifetime. Holy shitsnacks.

Double Mommy (I... I don't know... people... - Lifetime)

This is the synopsis:

Ryan discovers his friend Bryce is the father of one of his girlfriend's twin babies and that he date raped her at a party over the summer. With college looming over Bryce's head, he will stop at nothing to make sure that he clears his name.

Because the guys' feelz are what's important, here.

The Birthday Wish (Jessy Schram, who only acts one way and that is coked-up squirrel with blonde barrel curls - Hallmark)

This is the official summary, and it should let you know how pleased I was to watch this:

On her birthday, a woman who desperately wants her boyfriend to propose to her wishes for the opportunity to see into the future, with surprising results.

'Cause I love seeing "desperate" and "woman" in the same sentence about my main character! This was precisely what you think based on the summary - though I will say Schram doesn't play it "desperate" so that was kind've a weird word for them to use - she somehow has these premonitions (it's never explained) and the boyfriend's a dick and she ends up with her co-worker who's a great guy. The end.

1/5 stars

Once Upon A Prince (Megan Park, who is familiar though I don't know how, and a quite charming British fellow who isn't really, he's actually from Canada by way of New York but sounds really damn convincing - Hallmark)

Also unsure this is “winter”, but it’s worth talking about. Seriously. Still, let's get the shite - and it's minor! - out of the way.

First complaint: they blew their wad in the title. Not that we don't get the scoop fairly quickly, but... welp, no we don't, the beans aren't spilled for a while - they *easily* could've skirted it, and they HAVE, it's very nicely and smoothly done, I mean, you can divine it but it's not plot anvil'd, his situation unfolds gradually across the first act, which is so refreshing. Whoever titled it was the screw-up. I'm looking at you, Hallmark execs. All their titles spoil.

Second complaint... despite the adept nature they handled main dude's backstory, there's a really bad clunker of an anvil in that first bit - we know exactly how he's gonna propose to her in the end because they shoe-horned in really abrupt and almost non-sequitur dialogue for her wherein she tells him her dream proposal not terribly long after meeting him. It was weird and awkward. I mean, the fuck. I get she was still rattled as her longtime boyfriend with whom she had both business and personal futures planned out breaking up with her in the prior scene(s), but shit. They do recover a bit by having our dude - and damn, I love him, I genuinely do - comment something to the effect of "Well oftentimes it's easier to tell a stranger things we can't tell the ones to whom we're close". My point is, they knew it was a dog of a line, but I thought of three options to get the topic out there over the course of them getting to know each other just while I’ve sat here typing this recap - hell, they revisit the damn location later, when they are friends vs. strangers! It was bad writing.

Third complaint... y'all know by now: I hate the fake made-up countries. And this one is (wait for it) Cambria. Google Cambria. Go ahead. I'll wait. [pause] Nevermind, I'll just tell you, and this isn't because I have some bizarre encyclopedic knowledge of the way-back-when in Jolly Ol', it's because - well - I'm a reformed dinosaur nerd, and that overlaps with having an understanding of geology, because fossils. There, I said it. There were charts and sketches and stuff of the various periods of dino development from National Geographics on bedroom walls. I had it bad. For the record, I loved the book Jurassic Park, and the first movie was great, and the rest are good for laughs. The last two are good for mocking. I probably would've been a paleontologist, except for when my Christian father, who at the time I thought was the smartest man in the world (and he is objectively intelligent in many ways) told me God put the dinosaurs in the earth, that there's no way the earth is as old as science proves. (I say proves, he said claims.) 'Cause, y'know, an almighty being is totes into pranks. Ha ha. Ha ha ha. Funsies. I've digressed.

The quick-and-dirty is that the Cambrian is the geologic period that's from around 550 million years ago. (Okay this part I'll look up, because I'm so nerdy.... yup, I see it's 542-488 mil.) Anyhow, the dude that coined the name found the goods, the exemplars that proved this stage in earth history/backed up earth's age in Wales. And the area now known as Wales used to be called Cambria a way long time ago. Not millions time ago, of course. Trilobites and whatever can't speak... THAT WE KNOW OF. So I don't know if somebody was just like "Oh, that sounds like it could be a country" or somebody was being cute, thinking Cambria wasn't real, like it was something akin to Camelot, I've no idea. Who cares, it's stupid.

However.

Guys.... y'all.... my peeps.... um.... this'n is a keeper, so I'm not going to break it down and spoil it. It is very much worth watching, if you're into these types of movies, because it differs in a huge, very positive manner. Here's why this movie is above average for Hellmark: there's legitimate conflict (see above, re: what that means), and - most importantly - they are friends. They are buddies. They genuinely like each other. This isn't just about romantic love, this is about two people who care about what happens to each other. They care that the other person is living a life in which they are happy.

There's also some realism here, not because it's an identical situation (it is not, trust) but in the broad strokes, I think of the Prince Harry-Meghan Markle situation. Middleton is uppercrust Brit stock, if memory serves (I'm not looking it up) with some sort of pseudo-distant-whatever royal line connection. She was gold for William, she's a good option for a queen (I mean, I'm sure there's duchesses out there, but that ain't who Wills loved). Now, Markle? So far from what would be called uppercrust. So, so very far. And yeah, yeah, I get that it's not as big a deal since he's not direct but more adjacent in line to the throne, but c'mon. It was a big deal. And you know all the ways why, I won't go through them here. My dude broke about a bazillion years' worth of tradition, and good on him.

And at the end of the day, that's what this movie is about - making your own way, creating your own traditions, adapting the old traditions, having confidence to do the things you're good at, the things you believe you're meant to do, and doing them the way you think is best. Is this a deep movie? No, it's fucking Hallmark, haven't you been paying attention? You think they let us escape without a super-rushed, wrap-it-up-in-the-last-five-minutes ending? You know better. I'll tell you this, though - it may not be deep, but it ain't shallow. And it's the best royal movie we've had so far, despite the too much haste with information-giving in the beginning and with the title and, as you'll find out, a really bleh last line... and of course with him being king of Fossilville. (I'm not letting that go.)

You're going to love him, he's a doll and classy and darling the entire time. You're going to love her, she's self-assured and fun and mature and hard-working. And you're really going to love John the valet. We find ourselves at ratings time and, somewhat shockingly:

5/5 stars

Past entries below

Winter Castle (people you’ve never heard of - Hallmark)

Holy shit, cliché on parade and nobody can act?! Jack-friggin’-pot. Zero chemistry amongst anyone, from family to friendship to romance?! Hot damn.

So they’re all at this place for a destination wedding (a.k.a, Selfish And Life-Disrupting And Huge Expense For Guests Thing And Oh Here’s Our Registry Too, come at me brah), and everyone is staying in a hotel. HA! KIDDING! They’re all in this giant faux igloo, and by “faux” I mean there are these church-esque doors in what is, I guess, a specially-flown-in iceberg on land. Google tells me it’s an actual place.

Anyway, through the doors you’ll find hallways (that have people carved into them, not creepy at all) which are lined with rooms. Suites? I never saw a bathroom door, doesn’t damn matter, nobody poos in Hallmark’s world. Oh, also, for lighting, we have Target pillar candles, then everything’s backlit in ‘80s neon:

Are they shitting me?

But that’s beside the point. Point is, it may be pretty to look at but in execution, it’s stupid. No way people haven’t had to peace out and find a new joint to stay in because of near or actual hypothermia. Based on the warm, cozy, wood-floored, windowed, staircase-and-balcony-having rehearsal dinner area in a large building with stone wall exterior, this hotel actually has some, y'know, hotel to it. Lodge? Who cares, but I bring it up because of the standard precocious child who is there to bring everybody together whilst turning into a popsicle.

The poor kid is bundled within an inch of her life, dumb bunny-eared toboggan to puffy jacket, and is burrito’d in a sleeping bag, with a quilt on this bed that looks to be carved out of ice, as well, and I say “as well” because our leading lady is shown frequently perched on what looks to be a chair carved out of ice (fur puffy thing for ass protection) with her laptop on a table carved out of ice when she’s face-timing her Not Gay Male Best Friend in a bow-tie and sweater vest back home, and - bonus! - he doubles as The One Person Of Color. Now, if memory serves, legit igloos made by actual First Nation(s) folks (meaning both Canadian and American - specifically, Alaskan - and probs any groups that found themselves in the way-way-North in the way-back-when and had to come up with this genius or, you know, die) are actually pretty damn warm once the fire gets cranking. Not to say you don’t keep some fierce socks and gloves on, that’s plain smart, but enclosed space with heat is enclosed space with heat - just don’t lick the walls. That’s good advice, igloo or otherwise.

On that topic, via the article linked above, says one of the actresses:

“It’s like an igloo,” Mullen told the Standard. “The further you go into the hotel, it gets colder and colder. As you walk down the hallway into the different rooms, it’s just getting into your bones.” She said every time they called “Cut!,” everyone would put on jackets to warm up.

She’s incorrect - that’s not like an igloo. It’s too big, that’s why it doesn’t stay warm. I have *zero* desire to go to this place. That sounds like Dante’s Frosty The Snowman circle of hell. I digress.

I say all that to say, this movie is straight dumb because the script is basic bitch, they were leaning on the location and hard. It gets a star because they tried in the sense that they did use a unique setting, but the rest was neglected (the story and the casting). Everything else was so blaaaaaand, and the acting was so stilted and unnatural, and they cast the mother with someone who looks the exact same age as the lead gal/her sister (the bride), and then there’s this one chick character who was so pathetically desperate, and the leading man was such a pussy who wouldn’t make a fucking decision, and they had our leading lady be all *sniffle* and tolerating that shit AND SHE JUST MET HIM BY THE WAY, and I just…. ugh.

1/5 stars

Royal Matchmaker (Bethany Joy Lenz - Hallmark)

This isn’t an “official” Winter '19 jam, google tells me it’s from the '18 spring movies, but everybody’s bundled up, so I’m calling bullshit. It ain’t half-bad, despite the fact that it’s a “royal” one, who’d-a-thunk? There was one over Christmas that got a 4 (see link up top), and I never would’ve predicted it. But that was an oldie-goldie, this is now. This one has the traditional royal romance beats and, no shit, the sidekick is the same one from another “royal”, the absolutely horrid “Christmas At The Palace”, from Christmas ‘18. I cannot reiterate how bad that movie was - not ”My Christmas Love“ bad, but bad.

All right, so - she’s a matchmaker from NYC, which is at least a new take on what’s coming next - and you guessed it, a prince HAS to get married or some reason, even though it’s mentioned they are under a Parliamentary system and not a monarchy, but he still has to because it’s the 17th century, oh wait no it’s not. The king, who is from a random made-up locale (*sigh*) has hired her (and said partner) to find a suitable wife for his son, who’s presented as the typical eligible rich bachelor, and “presented as” is the key phrase. It’s one of the things I like about this plot, but it doesn’t outweigh the bleeeccchhh.

For one, it wears me out, the making-up of countries. It’s distracting. If you’re gonna do royalty, the right move is to have the royal not be a king/prince but make it a duke/duchess jam, refer to the locale vaguely as a duchy in England or Ireland or Scotland or Sweden or Norway or whatever Americans will fall for, 'cause as a rule, Americans aren’t typically hip to other countries’ jams. Hell, say someone is a prince/princess, but it’s more in inherited title only - that’s what the 4 from the Christmas list did right. Nobody called him “Prince Whatever”, he wasn’t presented as this hot commodity, it was a nothing burger, we didn’t even find out that he had the title til near the end of the movie. I’ve digressed, back to this flick.

I detest the royal garb they’ve got lead dude in at the conclusion, it looks like you or I waltzed into Party City and slapped down $30 and walked back to the set. It’s ill-tailored and in too-bright colors and is, again, something utterly distracting that could’ve been avoided, and same with the king’s, too-small jacket to too-long length of slacks. All the women, including our main gal, are in prom dresses straight off the rack from Sears and J.C. Penney’s. This is not praise. The men are all in identical rented tuxedos with clip bow-ties. Thanks, I hate it.

I mean, and I hate that there’s a ball at the end at all, but it goes hand-in-hand with the core premise, which is that they’re on a tight schedule - ol’ Bethany has 4 weeks. They, of course, fall in love with one another, and props to casting because these two look good together and have decent chemistry, but that could be because Lenz knocks these movies out of the park - this is the third… maybe the fourth… that I’ve seen with her - she elevates everything she’s in. When I mentioned her to a friend, I was told she also elevated some shitty TV show that I never watched, so perhaps you are already familiar with her.

Anyhow, once again there’s too much filler and the ending draaaaaaags and then BOOM it’s done in the last three minutes, which is standard for these movies (both Lifetime and Hallmark), I’d say, about 95% of the time. The story was good in that the prince wasn’t a typical playboy and he kept his philanthropic side a secret because he didn’t want press invading these small villages and whatever he was helping rebuild - he genuinely likes getting his hands dirty and he actually knows how to do shit, he fixes a radiator at a community center at one point. Eh. I dunno. It had such potential in the front half, then just shit the bed in the back half, so it was half of a waste of my time. But you may dig it. It’s far from the worst of Hallmark’s offerings but, again, I think it’s because of Lenz, she’s the only thing getting it up from a 1/5.

2/5 stars

Oh… oh mah… what the… we interrupt the winter fare for what looks like a rando that’s snuck in and christ on a cracker, no. No. No. NO. The summary:

A woman begins an online relationship with a famous photographer, not realizing that she is actually communicating with the man’s young son.

This caught my ear because as I was sitting here writing up the last movie, it came on, and I hear this woman’s voice, her typing (so it’s her voice in her mind), then a man’s voice (as she’s reading), and I looked up when the man’s voice started switching to a kid’s (boy’s) voice back and forth every sentence or so - and then I looked at that summary, and….

"Chance at Romance”, it’s called –> 0/5 stars, I don’t even need to watch it, what a stupid garbage fucking premise, and it’s gross, and I hope that shit kid gets punished, like as in, no computer til he’s old enough to own his own home and pay for his own internet, because scumbag kid. If he has the balls to pull this catfishing shitstorm on a fucking adult and gets away with it, what the fuck will he do to manipulate girls his own age? Gross. IT’S A GROSS PREMISE YOU GREETING CARD FUCKTARDS

Love On Ice (Andrew Walker, who’s in every fourth movie, and the lead chick’s familiar her name is Julie Berman - Hallmark)

Former pro skater, now teaching - don’t worry, it’s not the aforementioned “Christmas At The Palace”, despite the similar M.O. - and decides to go for one last run at regionals because the new coach in town who’s teaching the next big thing is like “You used to be the next big thing, why don’t you undo eight years of not training aggressively in, like, a couple weeks and compete against the girl I’ve been hired to make a winner, and I’ll coach you both, because I have a boner for you and your shitty blonde extensions! No, that’s not what he says, but that’s the deal, yo. The next-big-thing’s got an overbearing mother and, once his boner gets found out, here comes a new coach that used to be the former-next-big-thing’s coach, and she’s a horrible actress, she can’t play sneaky-evil to save her life. I liked the two leads, and they did a better job than the other ice skating scenes/movies with concealing the real skater actors, but overall this was as boring as watching paint dry, I just wanted it to be over.

1/5 stars

The Perfect Catch (Nikki DeLoach and… shock of all shocks, no not really… our old buddy, Andrew Walker - Hallmark)

I swear, I don’t know if Andrew Walker is on some mission from god, or being punished by him. I’m in the same boat, so I empathize. At least I’m not contracted. I can’t speak for him, but I remain happy for DHJ, that he’s escaped this purgatory, and is safe on the shore… at least, at present.

In any event, this one doesn’t seem like a "Winter official”, but there were jackets and no definite spring or fall standards (pastels or orange leaves), and it’s airing now, so here we are. It seems to be baseball season, so I know they mean for it to be spring, but they are wearing coat-coats, not it’s-still-kinda-chilly light jackets. I don’t fucking care, I watched it, so I’m reporting on it.

It ticks many boxes on the Winter Fanfic Bingo card (forthcoming), specifically the ones that are carryovers from Christmas and will be carried over to all the Hallmark/Lifetime movies regardless of time of year. Because being formulaic, when playing the long game, is cheap and efficient, and in the restaurant business, or products made on a factory line, or in healthcare standards, things of that ilk, you want streamlined coupled with the trieds-and-trues. In writing? Not-so-much. It’s lazy.

And speaking of restaurants, that’s the first box that got ticked - our leading lady owns a restaurant and, next box, it’s in danger of being lost. Other boxes include: our leading man is famous; he’s the character that comes back home, leaves/might leave, then changes mine/comes back, and it’s to stay!; adorable child who ideally will bring everyone together; a character’s parents are dead. Blah-blah. Blah-blah-blah. Blah-blaaaaah-blah-bleh. <—- that had more variety than this flick. I mean, there’s nothing wrong with this movie. It’s vanilla. It’s white bread. It’s mashed potatoes with no salt or a touch of sour cream mixed in, no loading with shredded sharp cheese and crumbled brown sugar-and-cracked-pepper bacon and the barest touch of chives. I’m hungry, shut up.

It doesn’t just get 1 star because it’s not bottom barrel - everyone’s competent in their acting, there’s nothing outlandishly stupid about the script, it’s not shellacked in Velveeta. I will say that they pull a little teensy, micro-twist with how they resolve his balancing a primo offer that in no way should he pass on career-wise fairly realistically. The very last scene is, of course, stupid and embarrassing.

2/5 stars

The next movie has palm trees, so officially not Winter. But oof…. it’s got Kelly Rutherford and Cameron Mathison, both of whom are ringers. Hmmm. Yeah, I still ain’t subjecting myself to more than needed for this adventure. Oh, and they continue to play the basic-basic-BAAAAASIC-boring “Hope At Christmas” on Hallmark Movies and Mysteries", if you’re interested. It is a mystery to me as to why they continue to do so. Anyhow, there’s apparently 3 or 4 more brand spanking new offerings from Hallmark for the next several weeks.

More to come. I’ll reblog this with every new entry added to the top, so you can always just keep this post URL bookmarked if you think you missed it. Send an ask if you want to be tagged.

#Nash Watches And Rates #Cheesy Winter Movies #so you don't have to #Cheesy Movie Talk

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dollarrolli · 2 years ago

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drlaurynlax · 6 years ago

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Pegan 101: All You Need to Know About Paleo & Vegan

Pegan: Protein & Vegan Unite

Some things in life just don’t make sense.

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How your checked luggage makes it to your final destination after your flight change in Dallas/Fort Worth (amidst a sea of thousands of other bags)

Why we say “Fine” or “Good” every time someone asks: “How are you?”

How many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?

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No ifs, ands or buts about it, the human body is like a plant that needs water and sunshine.

The Pegan Diet

We require a balance of water, fats, carbohydrates and proteins to be a well-oiled machine, and when we neglect any of those to the extreme, over time, our body suffers for it. Pegan is an approach that uses the combination the paleo and vegan principles.

Sure you can find some trace amounts of fat in carbohydrates.

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…But for the primary source of each of the three main nutrients (protein, fat and veggies), our body THRIVES upon the real deal powerhouse sources:

Healthy Fats, like: avocados, extra virgin olive oil, coconut, coconut oil, grass-fed butter, lard, tallow, pasture-raised egg yolks, raw nuts and seeds

Nutrient Dense Veggies & Fruits, like: Asparagus, Greens, Squash, Broccoli, Cauliflower Beets, Carrots, Apples, Oranges Berries, and more

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Of the three macro-nutrients, protein is probably the most mis-understood.

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Proteins are composed of varying combos of amino acids that make up the structure of every tissue, cell and substance in your body—your heart, your nails and hair, your hormones, your skin, your other organs, your brain cells.

We need these amino acids in order to continue building tissues and sustaining life.

Amino acids found in protein help with the growth, repair and healthy maintenance of our tissues and structures, and we require a constant supply of amino acids to keep on keeping on.

2. Metabolism

Proteins play a dynamic role in revving our metabolism (keep our cells and engine going and going and going) since they are a major building block of our hormones and

The primary protein hormones are insulin (which regulates blood sugar) and thyroid hormone—which controls your metabolic rate (how efficiently your body burns and uses fuel).

3. Brain Function

Proteins are also a major building block of your mood, emotions and all around brain power. Amino acids (simply put, protein is made of amino acids) make up your neurotransmitters—biochemical messengers whose job it is to carry signals from one brain cell to another.

Brain cells transmit all sorts of signals to the different parts of the body to carry out individual tasks—from throwing a ball, to avoiding a car wreck, to brainstorming a new idea, to crying when you watch a sad movie.

The better your messengers (neurotransmitters) are fed with complete proteins, the more efficiently they deliver “the goods”—the ability to think clearly, respond, fire and achieve your big dreams.

(Think about your mom telling you to clean your room as a kid, and you paying off your younger brother to do it – the more you paid him, the cleaner the room… The more you feed your body with quality amino acids, the more your cells can communicate, and the more efficient and wise your brain!).

Amino acids are also essential for our boosting our feel good brain chemicals—like serotonin and dopamine. When we don’t eat enough good protein, the brain can’t produce enough of these neurotransmitters. This is a reason why sometimes amino acid therapy is used as a treatment for depression.

4. Immunity

“Antibodies” are proteins that form in response to a foreign stimulus, known as an antigen.

Our ability to fight off antigens (bacteria, fungi, illness, disease and other pathogens) lies in the power of our antibodies.

Different antigens, or invaders, require different “antibody” proteins to fight them off—hence why we need a variety of proteins and complete amino acid profile.

5. Energy

Food gives us energy. Duh.

And a balance of different foods—carbs, fats and proteins—gives us the balance of energy sources we need for different body needs.

Protein, as mentioned above, are big on “building, growing and repairing” tissues—meaning they spur a lot of bio-chemical reactions and enzyme activity in our cells.

Energy.

Think of protein as the turbo power for supercharging cellular activity (and metabolism) to go, go, go.

In addition, protein comprises hemoglobin in your cells—an iron-bearing protein that is the key component of the red blood cell, meaning: Oxygen. Meaning: Energy.

(That’s why people with iron-deficiencies or anemia often have low energy).

What Are the Best Sources?

There are a total of 22 amino acids found in the various proteins we need.

Eight of these are essential amino acids—amino acids ONLY found in the foods we eat. The body can produce the rest of the amino acids from these 8 essential aminos, but otherwise, we need to eat protein to allow for optimal and complete amino acid production.

Animal proteins contain ALL the essential amino acids in the right proportions to one another—also known as a “complete protein.”

True some of these essential acids can be found in plan proteins. However, the majority of plans do NOT have the adequate amounts our body needs throughout its lifetime.

Therefore, plant protein is incomplete protein (even if combined with other plants to try to make it more complete).

While vegetarian and vegan-based diets do use the power of food combining (like rice and beans, or whole grains and nuts) to re-create a “pseduo-complete” protein (a combination of the essential amino acids glued together from the two separate sources), if this is our sole source of “complete” protein, over time, this can wreak havoc…namely on our gut.

Anti-Nutrients and More

Grains, legumes and nuts contain components known as “anti-nutrients” including lectins and phytates—known for their protection of plants from predators and weather in the wild…and protection from complete digestion in our guts.

Our guts have a hard time breaking down these anti-nutrients, and when we eat a lot of them, the stage is set for a host of GI “issues” like constipation, bloating, malabsorption, leaky gut, intestinal permeability, bacterial overgrowth, and beyond.

Complete Proteins

Hints why the most complete and easily assimilated versions of complete proteins (with all the amino acids we need) come directly from the main sources of protein—such as:

Grass-fed Beef

Grass-fed Bison

Pasture Raised/Organic Chicken

Pasture-Raised Eggs

Wild-caught fish and wild-caught seafood

Turkey

Pork

Lamb

Venison

Secondary sources of plant-based proteins (i.e. not ideal to solely rely upon), include:

Plant-Based Protein

Lentils

Beans

Quinoa

Seeds and Nuts

Nutritional Yeast

Nuts

Peas

Seeds

Spirulina

Fermented Tofu, Tempeh, Miso, Natto

What happens when we DON’T get enough?

Two words: Body breakdown.

When we don’t get the complete profile of amino acids over time, things break down.

From hormone imbalances, to lowered mood, lowered energy, decreased muscle repair (and results in the gym if training), lowered immunity…things don’t function quite as efficiently or effectively because enzymatic activity is sllllloooooowwwwweeeeeddddd (protein intake is not driving the ship).

Not to mention: Digestive disturbances.

With protein out of the picture, often times plant-based diets turn into grain, bean and nut based diets, or raw-veggie diets—all of which CAN comprise part of a healthy diet, but leave our bodies trying to meet its needs for protein with secondary sources that are hard to break down.

Couple this with the widespread popularity of fake veggie proteins, like vegan sausage, processed soy products, tofurkey, seitan and overly processed veggie burgers, and our gut says, “Thankyou, but no thankyou.”

Often times the health side effects of not eating animal or creature based protein are hidden for many years.

The honeymoon euphoria of feeling cleansed and alive is common for several in the beginning, only to run into problems like infertility, crazy PMS, skin breakouts, constipation, bloating, bacterial overgrowth, autoimmune conditions, increased illness, slowed metabolism and mineral/vitamin deficiencies months or years later.

Case in point: My meatless mayhem.

Meatless Mayhem

I went meat free for about a year and a half during my eating disorder days.

My decision was intertwined with my obsession and desire to “be healthy,” and, in my mind, vegetarian and vegan based diets were the holy grail of health.

In order to fill the gaps that turkey, chicken and beef once filled between sandwich bread, alongside rice or on top of spaghetti, I ate more grains and “low fat” foods, like fruit, steamed broccoli, fat-free yogurt and low-fat packaged snacks (crackers, bars, pretzels).

Little did I realize that the symptoms I began to experience were my body’s way of crying out for meat—not just the potatoes.

Constipation, bloating, skin rashes, anemia, loss of period, dark circles under my eyes, brittle nails and hair soon replaced the initial spark and energy I felt for being able to deny myself something that most lazy Americans ate too much of (Big Macs, steaks and turkey sandwiches).

However, denial was rampant—as I refused to correlate my diet with any of these side effects (never!) until…the day I decided to give chicken a try again.

Fast forward several months later, and my energy, digestive woes and even mental clarity had been restored.

Magic!

(See “Food for Though” below).

So how Much Protein Do I Need?

Not as much (or as little) as you may think—depending on what “camp” you fall into, as well as current stage of life and goals.

As a baseline, aim for at least 25% of your plate to have a whole-sourced complete amino acid protein with most meals.

In terms of percentages for a given day, a healthy amount for general health in both men and women falls somewhere between 10-20% of total intake (about 65-130 grams/men, and 50-100 grams/women).

If muscle gain, weight loss or blood sugar re-balancing is part of your goals, bumping that protein up to at least 20-35% of total intake (130-230 grams/men, 100-176 grams/women) is ideal.

My Meatless Mayhem

You Can Have Your Cake & Eat It Too

I think author Michael Pollan said it best: “Eat real food. Not too much. Mostly plants.”

Translation:

Eat food your body recognizes as ‘food.’

Eat to satisfaction and nourishment for energy levels.

Base your plate on fresh veggies, fruits, healthy oils and fats, and some nuts and seeds.

Simple.

Eating vegan or vegetarian based dishes are NOT a bad thing.

In fact, with the rainbow of tastes and varieties out there, plants make eating both delicious and nutritious.

Above all, food is medicine. And animal-based protein (with all the amino acids) is part of that equation.

For optimal health and nourishment, incorporating the “real deal” is the quickest route to the most nutrients that your body recognizes and absorbs as protein.

The best part?

You CAN have your cake and eat it too.

Consider incorporating the best of “both worlds” with a Pegan-inspired philosophy (hybrid of vegan and paleo eating): A plant-based diet with meat and animal protein as a “condiment” (about 25-percent of your plate.

That said, NO LABELS are necessary.

Food For Thought

Often times, the BIGGEST thing standing in our way of giving our body what it needs is our moral ties to our food. We make ourselves feel guilty if we so much as THINK with the idea of adding animal protein to a vegan based diet.

Or, overwhelm overtakes us if we TOY with the idea of eating some sushi WITH rice (gasp, grains).

Enough!

Rules aside, your body is a smart cookie. And when we give it balance and listen to what our body is telling us, we may very well find that…

You can be “vegan” or “vegetarian” with some “medicinal protein” fuel.

And you can eat a paleo-based diet with some ancient grains, rice or beans.

And you can have those “20%” bites��like your grandmother’s famous chocolate chip cookies, a slice of pumpkin cheesecake, or a handful of chips and Queso at the restaurant, and live to tell about it.

Break the Rules.

Vegan-Paleo Recipes

Yesterday, we talked all about protein—why we need it, what happens to our body when we don’t get it and how to incorporate it into a plant-based diet.

Essentially, for optimal health:

Eat real food. Mostly plants. And “supplement” with animal-based protein as a condiment of your meals (about 1/4 of your plate at least) if the thought of protein (with ALL the amino acids you need) is hard to stomach.

Need some inspiration in the kitchen?

Here are some of my favorite “Pegan”-based recipes from around the web you should try:

Mains

Better Than Restaurant Falafel by Minimalist Baker

Paleo Vegan BBQ Meatballs by Sweet Designs (use avocado oil or coconut oil)

Plantain Seed Veggie Burger by Purely Twins

Sweet Potato Noodles with Creamy Cashew Sauce

Braised Lentils & Vegetables by Cafe Johnsonia

Coconut Curry Lentil Soup by Veg Angela

Garlic Spaghetti Squash by Meat Free Keto (add chickpeas, blackens or ground turkey or bison for some protein)

Grain Free Saffron Rice by Against All Grain (add salmon, chickpeas, fermented organic tofu or tempeh for some protein)

Savory Indian Pancakes by My Heart Beet

Stuffed Acorn Squash Bowls by Healing & Eating (pack with lentils or chickpeas if you can’t stomach ground meat)

Cauliflower Pizza Crust by Detoxinista (top with pesto, dried tomatoes, mushrooms, spinach, chicken or tempeh)

Quinoa Salad by Primal Palate (throw in some canned wild salmon or wild-caught tuna)

Creamy Broccoli & Cheese Soup by Blissful Basil (add some pulled chicken, pork or white fish to round it out)

Cornbread by A Girl Worth Saving (add a side of lentils, soaked beans or Beanless Paleo Chili like this Meat & Veggie Chili by Lauren Fuentes)

Side Dishes

Creamed Spinach by Eat Drink Paleo

Balsalmic Roasted Beets by The Primal Palate

Spiced Winter Squash by the Primal Palate

Cauliflower Mash by Whole Living Lauren

Crispy Sweet Potato Fries by Clean Eating Veggie Girl

Sweets & Treats

Chia Seed Pudding with Paleo Krunch (or use Wildway, Paleonola cereals) by The Thin Kitchen

Carrot Cake Cheesecake by One Green Planet

Real Deal Chocolate Chip Cookies by Against All Grain

3-Ingredient Flourless Brownies by The Big Man’s World

Almond Butter Blondies by Cook It Up Paleo

Orange Creamsicle Bars by Om Nomally

Coconut Chocolate Chunk Ice Cream by Two Peas in a Pod

Caramelized Banana Vanilla Bean Ice Cream by Get Inspired Everyday

Recommended Reads

In addition to these amazing recipes, here are a few books to spark your brain for more info on protein, protein myths, and a balanced approach to both plant and protein dining:

Eat the Yolks by Liz Wolfe

The Vegetarian Myth by Lierre Keith

Breaking Vegan by Jordan Younger

The Meat Fix by John Nicholson

Health Food Junkies by Steven Bratman

The Omnivore’s Dilemma by Michael Pollan

The post Pegan 101: All You Need to Know About Paleo & Vegan appeared first on Meet Dr. Lauryn.

Source/Repost=> https://drlauryn.com/uncategorized/pegan-101-all-you-need-to-know/ ** Dr. Lauryn Lax __Nutrition. Therapy. Functional Medicine ** https://drlauryn.com/

#Holistic #Nutrition #Therapy #Recovery #Functional #Medicine #Dr. Lauryn Lax #Dr.Lauryn

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beauvoyr · 7 years ago

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Lazy People’s Club for the Sleepy and Tired | 15

flowering | children of the end of the world

Pairings: Noctis/Reader Genre: Friendship/Romance/Friends-to-Lovers Tags: Fluff, Humor, Eventual Romance, Slow Burn, Abuse, Torture, asphyxiation, no beta we die like men, pre-Omen trailer route, pre-demon Noctis Chapter Suggestion: Read it on AO3 for cuter formatting during chat sequence. Chapter Rating: T Crossposted on: AO3 Summary: you will love him to ruins you will love him to ruins you will love him to ruins you will love him to ruins you will love him to ruins you will love him to ruins you will love him to ruins you will love him to ruins you will love him to ruins you will love him to ruins you will love him to ruins you will love him to ruins you will love him to ruins you will love him to ruins you will love him to ruins you will love him to ruins you will love him to ruins

CHAPTER SUMMARY: You will love him to ruins.

HIS MORNING IS DIFFERENT NOW. Different, as in Noctis doesn’t have to drag himself out of bed at 5.30 just so he’d make it to Gladio’s training session on time. That and he doesn’t have to struggle with rousing the cat from her nap, which is a codename for waking you up and getting a swish of claws in return. These past few days taught him how to dodge unpredictable attacks better than his Shield ever did. Ignis checks up on him at 7.30, giving him more time to grumble about the too-damn-early Contemporary Management class that’s only available at 8.30 only on Mondays and Wednesdays. Noctis picks up on his dull routine of brushing his teeth, yawning under the hot shower, shucking on whatever shirt and pants combo he can locate in his closet, and hauls his backpack with another yawn.

The ride to Lucis U has Ignis filling him in on the council updates, boring stuff that has him yawning four times in twenty minutes of morning traffic, and manages a bleary nod once his Advisor sees him off at Block B. As a senior, most of the fresh-eyed juniors gawk at him the moment he strides through the hallways, scanning the doors for BU 3-1. He’s the prince, he kinda gets that a lot, not that anything’s changed over his entire lifetime. They don’t care about him past his title, and he doesn’t see why he should care either. Noctis occupies the seat farthest from the board, saves some space for Prompto, and checks up on his planner. If it’s up to him, he’d never get himself something as posh as leather-bound, but this was all a conspiratorial gift by none other than Ignis in final hopes that it’d instill some orderly sense into Noctis.

But did it work?

Probably, seeing how he had his final timetable scrawled in one of the front pages in case of discrepancies—

—oh.

Prompto’s not taking this elective with him. Right. He signed up for Media and Journalism since he figured his photography skills would come in handy, babbling all about it when they were filling up the subject registration form last semester. That kind of sucks, now that he thinks about it. If Prompto’s not here, then he can’t steal naps when the lecturer’s not looking. And he can’t skim through the lecture notes Prompto’s jotted down amidst all his lazy doodling. And they can’t coordinate where to grab their lunch because Lucis U’s menu dates back to M.E. 358, all sloppy mashed potatoes and premature beans on every other day, ugh.

Shutting his planner, Noctis slumps over his desk as the other students begin to file in. Some are vaguely recognizable faces, like that guy with the mohawk or that girl with a birdlike laugh, while rest are an assortment of squashed noses and sharp jaws and droopy eyelids, people who recognize him from afar, people who never approach in the end. There is an unspoken line drawn between them and him, separating the prince from its people.

Chin on the scratched desk, Noctis slips out his phone and puts it on silent, knowing the misery of abandonment all too well.

N: hey P: morning noct!!! dude im so psyched for medjourn omg N: lol nerd P: no rly lol P: we’re getting pruvia drusus P: u remember that segment at 9? on 8tv? P: she goes undercover and infiltrates drug cartels, yakuza houses??? badass stuff???? armed w/ only a camera?????

Noctis searches the depths of his head for a semblance of connection to this Pruvia person, finds that he doesn’t even know the channel 8TV exists prior to Prompto’s yammering, and sighs.

N: no idea, sorry P: aw man u missed out big time. she kicks ass P: cuz she’s gonna be teaching us this sem!!! N: what really P: yea man! special contract only this sem and first come first served, limited seats blablabla u know the deal

That mad dash Prompto did just to submit his form at the counter last semester? Bouncing on his feet the moment the registrar gave it a once-over and nodded? And that little fistpump he did at the end of it? Yeah, all of that totally made sense now.

N: is it too late to congratulate you P: naw it’s never too late!!! P: thanks noct!!!!

A loud bang and the lecturer abruptly enters, setting down a folder heavy with paper, looking like she’d rather be anywhere else than here. Noctis shares that sentiment too; he’s starting to miss his bed a little too much. Madam Yoshino Faustus is a middling lady with three large rocks on three different fingers and they glimmer each time she waves her hand about, the hallmark of a nobility gone rogue, throwing out the Lady in her to adopt Madam instead. He’s had her two semesters ago, an encounter in Introduction to Conflict Management that ended with Noctis scoring an A- despite slamming into classes an hour after she started, all thanks to his notorious oversleeping skills. Her squinting sweep over the entire room to take in the faces of her future victims tells Noctis that this semester is going to be even worse than the last one.

“Usus magister est optimus,” her lilting voice begins, and by the number of times she always recited that phrase in every class, Noctis knows it by heart to remember one thing: Practice is the best teacher, a motto she lives by. “All right, let’s do a little roll call, just to make sure everyone’s here today and nobody’s signing for their friends,” she drones on, consulting the name list of those registered under her class, a true veteran who thwarts every student’s attempt on playing hooky. “Albel Williams?”

“Here.”

Noctis turns to his phone when she belts out a few more names.

N: yoshino’s here P: same P: pruvia’s here too omg im pumped

Which means Prompto’s replies are going to get increasingly spaced out by the seconds as he enjoys Pruvia’s class while his best friend is withering away here. Great. Resigning himself to enjoy his own company, Noctis logs into King’s Knight. CONNECTING TO SERVER circles endlessly on his screen with pixelated Ray Jack, Kaliva, Barusa, and Toby marching to the beat, brandishing their weapons. After what seems to be minutes—when it’s only seconds, really, Noctis tends to exaggerate when it gets boring—he’s all logged into the game, scrolling through the dev notes and checking today’s quests. He harvests his Zell trees for free cash, a thoughtful gesture once-per-day meant to aid the newcomers, and then he goes to his FRIEND screen, where—

“Prince Noctis Lucis Caelum?” the lecturer calls out in a tone that suggests she sees him with his phone out. “Are you with us?”

Prince. Right. He really needs to make a special decree just for stopping people from calling him that in class. Noctis straightens up his slouch, looks her in the eye like a dutiful student and the proud son of King Regis, doing his perfected princely nod. One sharp bob of his head, not a timid two. “Yep.”

Something about her adjusting her eyeglasses begs to differ, but she exhales all the same and moves on. “Noleva Mai?”

—he taps to his messaging application and tries to hide his grimace.

N: yoshino saw me texting RIP P: yoshino more like yoshiknows

Noctis resists the urge to snort out of the imminent knowledge that Madam Yoshino might start chucking markers at him like all teachers do in anime, and sends out a last message.

N: lol catch you later then N: have fun with pruvia P: thanks noct! P: u have fun w/ yoshi-no-no too!!!

Swapping back to King’s Knight, Noctis checks on his mini friend list. There’s Prompto but he’s offline, as expected. Gladio’s never online unless Noctis is the one badgering him to go on a raid with him and Prom, so Barusa’s all greyed out on the screen like Prompto’s Toby. He scrolls a bit more, searching for a glowing Kaliva rocking a skull-tipped weapon and oozing sheer badassery, but. It’s all greyed out too.

Well. He didn’t expect that.

The lecturer’s already scratching her name on the whiteboard and it reads Madam Yoshino Faustus in case anyone’s a newbie, then she’s already jumping into the first chapter listed in the pro forma because that’s how seniors roll on their first day in the final semester, all badass and probably dying by the end of the term. Noctis swallows a groan, watches Madam Yoshino put up some drab slides of black text on white background, and turns back to King’s Knight.

It probably doesn’t hurt to text you before he puts his phone away.

TO: THE ARCHITECT FROM: NOCTGAR SUBJECT: [none] MESSAGE: wake up.

He only hopes you’ll get back to him soon enough.

the jump from high school syllabus to university courses is something most people spend an average of a month to synchronize with the rhythm of building properly cited reports and bookmarking journal archives on their computers. you are fourteen and you only had a week. a week of the pinch-faced man running his fingers over your documents before handing byron your necessary textbooks, listing out your learning outcomes from the top of his head, and diving headfirst into your workload. he is only paid to teach you, not to make you understand, so he packs his briefcase by eleven and leaves for his next lecture on campus.

this is how you learn.

at six you rise, eating breakfast thirty minutes later. by seven you are dressed and sitting at your desk, reading your texts in advance before the lecturers arrive. eight a.m. they enter, an assortment of he, she, they, names you do not memorize. lessons end thirteen hours later, interspersed bites of meals squeezed in between your lecturers’ arrival. byron cleans as you wash up, readying a dinner that you nibble in between glances of your assignments. the clock chimes twelve. sometimes you sleep on your books. most of the time you do not sleep at all.

flipping through ancient solheim and decoding the dead language, you occasionally catch yourself muttering under your breath. “i’m an idiot. i’m an idiot. i’m an idiot.”

byron stops fiddling with his feather duster and corrects you softly, a pitiful look in his silent eyes. “to me, you are the most intelligent person i’ve ever had the honour of meeting, milady.”

what good does intelligence bring you? it is a word that has lost its meaning. intelligence bring you crippling thoughts of no i can’t do this no i don’t want to do this anymore no i want to stop please. intelligence makes you jump at every passing minute, dreading the moment he she they step in, posing a question designed to unveil your idiocy. intelligence has your bed collecting dust, dust that byron obediently expels with zeal.

so tell me, what good does intelligence bring me?

you must’ve vocalized the question, for byron shakes his head and corrects you again. “milady, i never had the chance to go to school.” he meets your eyes like it is the most natural thing for a twenty-seven-year-old man to remain uneducated, while you are fourteen and too educated for the world to appreciate. “one of the men i worked with taught me to read and write, then basic maths once i know the difference between bemused and amused. my first salary was only 50 gil, so i spent some on books and veggies, and saved the rest in my tin can. by the time i had close to a few hundred gil in my savings, i bought this beautiful leather-bound diary and a pen i saw in this stationery shop, and taught myself some cursive from the old man at the bus stop.” with a voice that doesn’t quite match the melancholy on his face, he turns his back to you and resumes dusting your bookcase. “so please, do not think so lowly of yourself. you are worth so much more to me.”

all at once, you are ashamed. ashamed of yourself for whining at him for the scratches on your palms when he has welts on his body. you are fourteen when you realize you are blessed in all your misery. while it doesn’t make things any better with father pretending your existence is nullified, nor does it have the manservants respect you any better, you have byron.

byron who has nothing else left in life than you.

NOCTIS QUICKLY COMES TO THE CONCLUSION that the final semester sucks.

Four days. Four days is all it takes for Noctis and Prompto to find out that downing 12 cans of Ebony in 3 hours will send Prompto into a twitchy mess, then embarking on an adventure with marathoning four whole seasons of JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure blasting from the TV. Ignis isn’t quite pleased to find his stashed Ebony raided with no cans left to spare, though he refrains himself from berating them when they’ve finally finished compiling the report and slides for Strategic Management, a compulsory core unit both he and Prompto couldn’t ward off with credit transfer. Ever dutiful, Ignis takes up the task of sweeping pizza crumbs under the sofas, separating cans of energy drinks from plastic bottles for recycling, and pulls his sleeves to his forearms, banishing grease from the plates.

By the time Friday rolls around, Prompto’s draped over the cushion, a fine imitation of a corpse. Noctis, on the other hand, doesn’t recall how exactly he found his bed—or rather, his arm found it while he died on the floor. Over a box of cereal and some morning Malboro cartoon, they both agreed that the first week is shit—“Is that why all our ex-seniors looked like they died three years even before their final sem started?” Prompto asks aloud, then bursting into melodramatic tears when Noctis, in stately somberness, nods—and consoled each other with Ignis’ freezer-wrapped meals. When dusk falls, Noctis catches up on a solid fourteen more hours of sleep, while Prompto finally went home for the first time in decades.

Saturday. Ignis, bless him, decided to let Noctis sleep in a little past ten a.m. and only woke him up once it shows eleven on his watch. Gladio wants all of them back in the training hall for some ‘relaxed sparring’ to ‘polish on teamwork’ after ‘taking a long break’, a lie that Noctis could smell even if the Citadel’s miles and miles away from his apartment. Still, they picked up an unwilling Prompto from his house, sat through the crawling Insomnian traffic, reverse-parked in the prince’s underground bay, and ended up in the training room all the same.

Prompto is the first one to throw the door open, all singsong. “Gladi—oh.” And then he stops short. His hand falls off the doorknob like it burns him, jammed right in the pocket of his sweatpants. “Wow, uh. Hey. Architect. Hey, uh, Architect’s butler…?”

Ignis is only a step away from Prompto, a gentle hand landing on Prompto’s back to guide him into the training hall, spurring him out of his statuesque stand. The blond awkwardly slinks in with the Ignis in tow, who is all serene calmness even though he’s surveying the floor in great interest behind his spectacles. He, too, waits for an answer.

“Byron the butler, in case you forgot,” the mess of white offers, all smiles.

Something about that has Prompto paling faster than slapping a monochrome filter on a picture. Blue eyes are skittish, darting from one side to the other as he pulls the worst kind of smile that’s undoubtedly jumpy. “Uh. Right, Byron, nice to see ya again. And uh,” he nods over to the last party member, “who’s that guy?”

“Nyx, Nyx Ulric,” Gladio answers from the other end, as gruff as always. “Noct, get your ass in here so we can start.”

He can definitely count on his Shield to be an ass about this. “Shut up, I know.”

So. What Noctis sees once he finally reaches the hall are four people. It’s hard to miss out Gladio, so naturally he’s the first person Noctis picks out from the floor, a crooked grin on his scarred face as he waves them in. As much as Noctis doesn’t want to see your butler again, Byron’s there for who knows what reason, substituting his fitted suit for a sharp ensemble of button-up shirt and khakis. There’s also some uniformed Glaive seated cross-legged beside him, all handsome ruggedness with his hair slicked back, trailing down his shoulders in little braids. Presumably the one called Nyx, since nobody else fits that description. He has the look of a predator if Noctis doesn’t know any better, minute tattoos dotted under his eyes, and decked in too much leather to be just a normal guy.

Noctis lets his blue eyes stray from the stranger and drift up grey sweatpants and a shirt too loose, clothes that he’s long accustomed to. You. For some reasons, when he sees the smallish smile gracing your face and the familiar glaze in your eyes when he meets your gaze, something stirs in him. Something like a bad stomachache—no, that’s not it. Something like overeating and getting nauseous—no, that’s not it either. It’s something knocking inside him, asking to be heard, except he has no idea what it is. But it makes him conscious of the way he’s returning your look with a slight wave—then turning it into some weird wilting of his fingers once the deed’s done—and then turning into an awkward rub of his nape.

At any rate, he joins all of them on the floor, sitting in a crude circle, feigning ignorance at your keen peeking every once in a while. It’s not like he hasn’t been talking to you in these past few days and it’s not like he’s ignoring you on purpose, Astrals no. Classes have been hard, sure, but King’s Knight bridged the gap between his physical distance with you. You texted him your training regimen, he texted you his day, you gave him pointers on how to draw up a report that netted him Madam Yoshino’s compliments, and he shared some room IDs for you to join his raids with Prompto. Normal, casual interactions, no red sirens anywhere, so he shouldn’t be on red alert like this. But it’s all a lie. If anything, it’s the way things are going that makes him a little too hyperaware of that persistent knocking in him each time he ignores your fleeting peeks.

Maybe he’s just thinking too much about this.

Things are normal. Things are casual. Things have been both normal and casual.

But things are different with how you’re here with Byron, finally giving up on catching his attention and turning to that Glaive instead.

Your friendliness is infectious and it doesn’t help that Nyx practically established no walls with you. He murmurs something, you listen, he murmurs a bit more, then you stifle a laugh behind your hand. Thankfully it hasn’t devolved into anything remotely touchy-feely that would’ve trespassed some borders for Noctis, but it sure as hell looks like the guy is a long lost friend catching up to years and years of chatter. And you’re all too honest with your feelings these days, smiling that same smile of yours at Nyx. That very same smile you were once reluctant to share with anyone else but him.

Noctis turns away, picking off the little thoughts overrunning inside like they’re ants swarming a crumb.

He’s being ridiculous. That’s what it is. He should be proud of your progress in making friends instead of feeling like he missed out on something in the days he hadn’t spent by your side. This whole thing is just all in his head and he should forget about it. His eyes drag over the opposite end where you sit, tracing over the docile quirk of your lips as words are whispered to Nyx, who turns it into a joke of some sort for you to laugh over. The searing flash jolting up his nerves is immediate, forcing Noctis to look away.

Yeah, he should definitely forget about it.

Gladio finally steals the moment by clapping once and Noctis is more than willing to fix the Shield his attention to end his thoughts. “All right, listen up. First off, meet Ulric. He’s a senior member of the Glaive—Kingsglaive,” Gladio tacks on a bit of an explanation once Prompto goes bug-eyed at the new term. “Elite soldiers who risk their lives to protect Lucis, Prom. They’re war veterans out there, fighting to keep people like us safe in Insomnia.”

“Too much credit, Gladio,” Nyx counters, sounding modest even if the mischievous grin on his face never went away. “Just doing my job. You guys must be the Prince’s entourage; Prompto Argentum,” he starts from clockwise, “Ignis Scientia, and His Royal Highness, Prince Noctis Lucis Caelum. Pleasure to meet you all.”

As Prompto and Ignis echo some pleasantries, Noctis can’t even bring himself to nod. Glaives are part of his dad’s legion of protectors even if the Crownsguard are bodyguards for the royal family. At the first signs of Niflheim’s forces stirring unrest outside Insomnia, the Glaives are the frontliners fending them off. On days they don’t get any action, Noctis knows some of them are tasked with tailing him from afar if he’s out in town, harnessing the power of the Crystal through his dad just to make sure they remain out of sight by scaling walls and such.

So what’s he doing here?

Unfortunately, Noctis finds no answer as Gladio moves on.

“And this guy right here,” the Shield thumbs at Byron, who’s gone ahead and braided his hair out of disinterest at the droll conversation, “is Byron, the little lady’s butler. Think of him as the older, pissier Iggy.”

“Flattered with the description.” Unconcerned, Byron continues braiding his ponytail like it’s the most natural thing to do, elegant fingers deft with its handiwork and twining one lock after another. You hide a smile behind your fingers, though it doesn’t escape Byron’s watchful eyes as he huffs not unkindly. “It means there are at least four levelheaded people in this ragtag band of,” he searches the ceiling for answers, “young adults. Young, moody adults.”

Is that a jab at him? Whatever it is, it has Noctis scowling after taking the bait, arms crossing over his chest. “As if you’re not a young adult yourself.”

Byron makes an expression of dramatized outrage, clicking his tongue like a mother hen, severely scandalized at the thought. “What a compliment, I must appear younger than I look. With all due respect, Nyx and I are the only full-fledged adults around here. We’re both well over our thirties.” He draws up his chin in disdain, sneering Noctis’ way. “The lot of you are simply children to us.”

Thirty—Noctis almost sputters at the words crossing his mouth, but Prompto groans and presses a hand to his forehead. “Gladio’s right,” he grumbles, “Byron is an older and pissier version of Ignis. Ugh, talk about two Iggies.”

“You say that as if it’s a bad thing,” says Ignis ruefully. He gestures to the rest of the members of this odd gathering, himself included, and inclines his head towards Nyx—who, by now, is already taking in their exchange with a wry grin of his own. “Do forgive them, the children can be quite excitable in presence of new companions.”

Nyx props his head up and clears his throat, eyes bright. “Nah, not at all. Just happened to be assigned for patrolling in my new roster and heard loud noises—weird loud noises,” he corrects himself, nodding your way, “and the rest is history. Nowadays I just check them out every now and then to make sure they’re not getting into trouble.”

“You got the small kid to blame for the weird loud noises,” Gladio heartily thumps your back as you vibrate from the sheer force of it, scowling Byron’s way.

“Well, I wouldn’t have made those ‘weird loud noises’ if someone wasn’t trying to detach my spine from my hip.”

Byron deflects your lethal glare with the look of a customer service representative sent to deal with a particularly pesky customer, never once acknowledging the blame. “Milady, you’re as flexible as a plank. You need to stretch more.”

“Pretty sure there’s a difference between helping and attempting murder,” you rebuke as Gladio turns his sympathetic back-patting into comforting head rubs instead. “What if I broke something and had to go to the ER?”

To which the shameless butler rolls his eyes and pretends examining the twines to his braid a far greater issue than your metaphorical dislocation. “You’re being overdramatic. Nyx, do me a favour as a fellow old man and tell her she’s being overdramatic.”

“I’d say no to the part with the old man,” Nyx shrugs at the betrayal, “but yes to the overdramatic part. It is what it is.”

Hopelessly ganged up by the two men, you sulk under Gladio’s petting and wither. “Gee, thanks guys. Real nice of you.”

Ignis surveys the friendly banter with raised brows, though he ventures no further on the matter. Prompto looks like he doesn’t know if it’d be his place to join in when Byron’s involved, and Noctis kind of gets what he’s thinking. The last time Byron meddled, things ended as well as someone’s funeral. Their collective silence works out for Gladio since it gives him a chance to lay out his plans for the day, starting from the not-so-subtle looks he’s been tossing Noctis’ way.

“All right guys, enough chitchat,” Gladio brings everyone to attention once again. “The reason why I called you all here today is because,” he gives a sharp look to Noctis, “Noct, we’re gonna give it a shot with attuning her to magic today, see how well she takes to it, and decide where she goes from there.”

And Noctis couldn’t help the way his brow arches automatically at that. “So that’s why you called me out here?”

“Ya got any other sibling out there who’s also the prince?” Gladio scoffs. “Of course you gotta do it, dumbass, she’s yours.”

His, huh?

That sounds nice for a change.

“Ohhhh boy, I’ll go grab The Bucket™ real quick,” Prompto groans, dragging a hand over his face as he scrambles to his feet. Met with your confused gaping, he only finger-guns your way and flits from the circle, rushing towards the showers. Cue clanging sounds, startled jumps, and epic sounds of scuffling before the blond emerges with a steel bucket dented at the side. He sets it down in front of you coolly, much to Nyx’s amusement.

And you’re all but fingering the suspiciously empty bucket at the rim, stumped. “What’s this for?”

Noctis knows what that’s for. Hell, Ignis and Gladio were both well-acquainted with The Bucket™ at some points, but they’re very much disinclined to acknowledge The Bucket’s™ existence since all it does is bring back bad memories. Bad memories of puking uncontrollably, Ignis wiping his mouth and hunching over The Bucket™, Prompto dropping dead into a faint after just touching Noctis, and The Incident That Must Not Be Named™ involving Gladio stumbling like a newborn anak fawn all across the training hall.

Well. This should be interesting.

“Not everyone can handle magic, even in trace amounts,” Nyx explains much to your gratification, fingernail tapping against the steel handle knowingly. It sets you into a mode of perpetual alarm, breathing shallowly, and Nyx chuckles even louder. “Calm down, you’re not gonna die or something. The worst that could happen is puking,” he lists off his fingers, “fainting, disorientation, or maybe all three.” He stops at the sheer horror crossing your eyes, shrugs, and finds it appropriate to add, “For a few days, I guess. We still have newer Glaives who puke when they land after warp-strikes, so that’s another case. Can’t get used to the thing if you don’t practice daily.”

Usus magister est optimus, the Yoshino in Noctis parrots. Practice, practice, and more practice. Practice even when he’s sick, practice even when Gladio served his ass in three different flavours, and practice even when his legs had failed him.

“Warp-strike is the thing where,” you chew on your bottom lip, all frowns, probably recalling the number of times he inadvertently showed you the move through his many practices, “you kind of throw your weapon somewhere and just—just end up warping there, right?”

Huh. Noctis just can’t help but to nod along when you throw a furtive glance his way as if confirming that’s the thing, right? At least you had been paying attention to him, that’s for sure. His skin prickles at the intriguing thought.

“All Glaives can warp since we utilize King Regis’ magic, and he’s strong enough to lend us his strength. Think of His Majesty as a conduit, it’s easier that way.” Nyx tilts his head over, lazy eyes ghosting over Noctis. His hardening stare threatens to expose him, yet he says nothing and is content to pick up the briefing where he stopped. “His Highness over here is also another conduit, but he’s only serving his retainers for now. So if you wanna get good, get practising.”

“It’ll also help if you haven’t had your breakfast,” Ignis points out, a knowing glint in his eyes. That’s definitely talking from experience right there. “If you’re rather famished by now, then it might be wise for us to begin right away.”

Byron finishes his braid with a bauble hair tie procured from his pocket, snapping it into place. He cycles through everyone’s expression for digestion and comes to a conclusion. “Since that’s everyone’s consensus, then we should start, milady. The sooner you start puking, the better, since I can clean up your mess before I start on lunch.”

“Someone has his priorities right,” Ignis agrees, meeting Byron’s eyes with a grateful nod sent his way, and Six, is his Advisor seriously getting along with the creep for your butler? Today is so not Noctis’ good day. “Come along now, Noct, hold your hand out to her. And you, Architect, do us all a favour and give Noct a hand.”

Prompto hoots and slaps Ignis’ back, who looked oddly pleased with himself for thinking up that one. Ugh. Whatever. He needs to get this over with. Noctis scoots over to where you sit at the same time you shift closer, both meeting at the halfway point. With all his friends and some random Glaive grinning wildly at the side, it feels a bit weird to do this—but not in the way where it’s getting uncomfortable—just slowly getting there, somewhat. It’d be better if he had some privacy in the first place for concentration, but he can’t be too picky with how the circumstances are playing out.

Theoretically, the Crystal’s magic seems can be condensed into the simple concept of eating. Right now, he’s simply letting you have a taste of the magic, just a lick or two for your tongue to learn the flavour. Later on when you’re much better off at it, you’d be able to eat all you want through him if you’d like it. And him? He’s not the one eating from the Crystal. The Crystal is the one eating him like how it ate his dad alive.

Everyone knows how it is, everyone saw how he hobbles with a cane for a crutch.

The spiderweb spreading on his father’s right, uprooting the little pale canvas he has to offer, says enough to Noctis that the doctor isn’t going to announce his cause of death as a natural cause. What little magic Noctis could afford to channel to his friends isn’t enough to let him share his dad’s burden. But he’ll get there sooner or later once the ring is sitting on his finger, once his friends are part of the council, once you’ve succeeded your father.

To start that off, you need this.

You need him.

Noctis holds out his hand to you, the standard procedure of channeling the Crystal’s magic through him as the conduit, and he can’t say he’s surprised when a familiar ice grazes his palm. Fingertips, as cold as The Glacian’s touch. He’s felt this before. The first time you brought his hand up to your face, letting him wrap his slim digits around your neck, icy manacles of your hands draining the warmth from his wrist. Do you still remember that day? He can’t tell, not when you’ve gone ahead and wiped the emotions clean from your face, slotting your palm over his.

“How romantic,” Byron drawls. “Romance movie of the year, ten out of ten.”

Gladio snickers and that asshole for your butler is smug with his achievement of riling the prince. Noctis makes a mental checklist to deck Byron later, just to demonstrate why he’s the Prince of Pain. Unaffected, you just side-eyed Byron as though you’re long used to his assholery, turning back to a pink-dusted Noctis. “Don’t mind him, Prince, he’s always a jerk.”

“Glad you’re suffering with me right now,” he snorts, earning some sort of a quiet huff of amusement under your breath. Once the racket settles down, he closes his eyes and lets the darkness reach out to him. Time to get his act together; it’s been a while since he’d done this. Hopefully soon enough, he’ll get to guide you through this without messing up. “All right, first thing you wanna do is close your eyes.”

“Ugh. Cliché.”

“Shut up Byron,” he hears you chide, Gladio cackling appreciatively at the unnecessary commentary. “Ahem. And then what, Prince?”

“Uh. Make yourself calm, at ease. Stuffs like that.” Totally not helpful, not that he’s good with words, but he’s been told that’s how it goes the last time he did it with Prompto. “When you feel calm and focused, then it’s a lot easier for you to reach out and feel things.”

“I…dunno Prince, all I’m feeling is how warm you are.”

That’s it? He must’ve been out of practice over all the months, damn. He catches Gladio muttering she said warm, huh? somewhere to his side, probably to Byron, and your butler’s snickering at you and him, totally getting a kick out of this. Champions of backseat everything, his friends. And your butler too, can’t forget about that. What are they, prepubescent kids? Clearing his throat, Noctis tries again, curling his fingers over the back of your hand. “Okay, try to concentrate on picking up something. Anything. Not the noise, not the warmth, just—“

“—like you’re trying to grab fish in the river,” Prompto pipes up to his left.

“No, it’s different,” Ignis points out, “it’s a transient feeling unlike any other. Almost like oxygen, it’s there, but it’s not seen to your eyes. Yet, it has always been there from the start.”

Noctis cracks his eyes open just a sliver before closing them again. “Guys, not helping.”

“Think of electricity,” Nyx supplies helpfully, and that’s more of an accurate description of the Crystal’s magic more than he could ever describe to you. Leave it to the pros to tell you how it is. “Flash of electricity, tingling under your skin and in your nerves. There should be a buzzing sound if you concentrate hard enough, and that’s the sound the Crystal makes. Like someone humming off-key, enough to make you aware of its presence, but low enough to fade into background noise. Think of blues and violets, if the colour helps you to imagine things. Put together that feeling and the electric colours when you search deep inside yourself.”

His lengthy explanation has you tightening your hold on Noctis’ hand, seizing him softly. In this darkness, he sees nothing. He hears nothing, once everyone falls wordless. Just like this, true to Nyx’s words, the Crystal’s distant hum beckons him, speaking in tones unintelligible to the human ears. The Crystal sustaining protection in Insomnia, the duty he carries as a prince to his people, everything as the Astrals ordained, bestowing salvation upon mankind, and so much more. Spikes of electric magic whizzes past, an ECG reading peaking from a flat, amaranthine bursting into blue—

—you squeeze his hand until pinpricks of pain sets in, and a gasp.

Noctis opens his eyes just in time to catch the dusts of magic reflected in your eyes—only, they are not blue, not his blue.

They are an infernal scarlet searing the blacks of your pupils.

He’s never seen that before.

And when you fall, he almost forgets to catch you.

titan, the archaean, steadfast as stone. ramuh, the fulgurian, sharp as lightning. shiva, the glacian, gentle as snow. leviathan, the hydraean, relentless as tides. bahamut, the draconian, unbending as iron. ifrit, the infernian, fickle as fire. since time immemorial, they have watched over eos.

cosmogony; the hexatheon.

EVERYTHING IS BURNING. The ground, the trees, the skies. Darkness and dust intermingle, clouds of smoke choking your mouth, scorching your lungs. Dry air strips moisture from your mouth. Nothing is alive, everything is razed to the ground. An abject sight of flames fanning over the hills, smothering steel into liquid. The blistering heat stings your skin and beads of sweat roll off your chest, but you do not care. Not when euphoria courses through your veins, rattling your fingertips with the intoxicating feel of victory. You throw your head back, scanning the melting horizon, searching for survivors that you know there wouldn’t be any.

You’ve made sure to eradicate every single one of them.

Down to their very last breath.

Wood crackles with fire gnawing through its crusty flesh, felling branches here and there. There is a sound, a displaced sound different from the rest. Footsteps. Heavy, booted footsteps, an uneven gait you’ve come to love and revere. You do not turn when arms snake around your waist, pulling you against a wall of bare chest. Liquid heat on your back, grimy hands leaving smudges of black across your torso, laving your flesh with ardent skims of flat palms and fingertips tracing circles on your skin. Something grazes your nape and ever pliant, ever worshipful, you tilt your head aside, broken, exposing your neck.

Dry lips descend on your skin, followed by a sharp nip of teeth, marking you.

This, right here in his arms, is where you belong.

Marked. Safe. His.

“We did it,” he murmurs throatily, and you groan your approval when his touches turn desperate, when his nips turn into bites, “we stopped them. You and me, just the two of us, we took them down.”

“Yes, yes we did,” you whimper, finding it hard to concentrate when he thumbs at your waistband, toying with the elastic. He restrains you tight, just like this, almost punishing in his strength—not that you mind it. You love it. You love him for the warning scratch of his fingernails digging through your skin, red welts rising from your unbroken skin. You love him for the way he runs his tongue over your earlobe, nipping at the shell, breathing hard in your ear. You love him even when he lunges a trident through a beautiful blonde, spattering her blood across his cheeks.

He buries his nose in your hair, inhaling with a ragged breath. “I love you.”

You know he means every word, for he loves as easily as he kills.

Eyes lidded, head resting against his chest, your hands dance across his fraught forearms and tangle with his fingers, filling in the gaps in between. This is a space made for you, meant for you, and nobody else will hold him like you do. He loves you. He completes you. He is you. Slowly bringing his hands to your face, you leave kisses on the bruises littering his knuckles, reverent. He is your Eos, he is your God, he is your King, and he is your Prince. He moulds you by his own two hands, filling the cavity with flowers for your lungs and honey in place of your blood. He deserves this corpse you call your vessel, down to your very last breath.

I love you is on your tongue, licking a stripe across his finger.

And he knows you love him too.

Turning in his arms, you crane your head to meet his heady gaze. Oh so wrecked, he stands stoic as his eyes bore into yours. Your sweet, wretched prince. Mirrored by the flames, there is a corrosive yellow to their quality, eroding his innocence. There is nothing innocent about him anymore. Gone are the Galdin blues; he has the eyes of the gold coins lost in the sea, a ring of scarlet rimming the edges. He’s beautiful, just as beautiful as the fire he starts. You cup his blood-crusted cheek and he leans into your touch, long black lashes fluttering in bliss, breathing his approval. His hand joins yours, holding you in place.

This is the world you ruined together with him, and there is no place better than Hell for the damned.

there once lived a man, born to a mortal but blessed with powers divine. conjuring a collection of glaives he dispelled the darkness plaguing our star. as a reward for his efforts, the god granted him a holy stone—the crystal, which he was to guard at all costs, for it would one day choose a king to see us through the coming disaster and lead us to salvation.

cosmogony; the crystal.

THE GLAIVE KNEW. Just one look and he knew. Noctis knows that look from anywhere—it was the same look everyone had when he strolled along in wheelchair, head downcast, never acknowledging the sympathy in their eyes. The fact remains that he isn’t as strong as King Regis to grant his entourage the same strength and magic the Glaives enjoyed. Yet in an effort to save face, Nyx withheld the judgment of a pro and offered your thoughts something else to ruminate. But what’s done is done. Noctis knows where he stands and it will never be on the same pedestal as the rest of the Glaives.

In the beginning, all was well. He was a child, but he was a prince, first and foremost. Afforded the luxuries many couldn’t ever since he could remember, but never the freedom other children had. “A prince shouldn’t dillydally shillyshally,” his tutor would click her tongue in disdain, brandishing a pen this way and that, marching up and down his room as Noctis pretends to be deeply engrossed in Lucian history just so she’d fade into a blur like one of the many wallpapers in his room. They all come and go just to stuff him full of knowledge as if education is a simple process of boiling textbooks into soups for him to devour. No matter how much they bore him to tears, they’ll never admit what they see: A young prince, hungering for the sun on his skin than the pages on his fingertips.

But he was weak.

After all, princes have to follow their father’s steadfast steps.

So what good was a prince who couldn’t walk?

Noctis has his back to the icy wall, but the scar on his spine burns white hot. He could just reach for it if he wants, searching under his shirt, feeling for the ridge where skin turns plastic.

Marilith.

His first taste of death came in a pool of red. Then came fear, shrouding him unlike any other fear he conquered. This was the monster under his bed, and it came for him. This was what it meant to be the prince of a kingdom, a price he paid in blood. This was death, and it wanted his life. The Crownsguard were diced into proportions by the Marilith’s blades, their coffins being the cars they drove in. Dying in place of the prince was regarded as the utmost honour one could hope to attain, but what good will a gold medal do to an empty coffin whose mangled corpse couldn’t even be retrieved? Nothing.

Things could’ve been different had Noctis not encountered that daemon. He replayed this scenario repeatedly, holding up the record to the sunlight to examine it in different angles as though a newer truth might unveil itself and undo what has been done. In another world, he never would’ve had to be wheeled around as an invalid, shoulders bearing the sympathies of many. Queen Sylva is never a casualty and Lunafreya wouldn’t be robbed of her parents, of her brother’s independence, leaving her as Niflheim’s prisoner. He never would’ve pushed everyone away just so they’re safe, safer where they are not a smudged scarlet on the floor. His nanny was an unforgettable example.

Anyone and everyone serving the royal line will be sacrificed for his safety. The Crownsguard, the Kingsglaive, the militia and the mass, all reduced to one thing: A fodder for his safety. Including his retainers, his friends. Ignis, Gladio, Prompto.

Ignis had been a staunch devout of an educationist in the very beginning. Graduated the top of his class in the Royal Academy during his earlier years, groomed into what they wanted him to be: His personal advisor. On paper, that is. In reality, Noctis craved the human touch Ignis possessed through their first handshake. Though duty remained a permanent distinction separating their friendship, Ignis isn’t as much as a stickler he could be at times. He’s the brain behind their nightly escapades out of the Citadel while Noctis is the brawn—or the one persistently convincing Ignis that it’s a good idea and they’re never going to get caught, thanks to his meticulous mapping of the Citadel’s hallways. They clambered through open windows, snuck past guards, and crawled in metal vents just for that small reward of the stars studding the night skies. And perhaps, for Ignis himself, the reward truly lies in Noctis’ brilliant smile.

Then there was Gladio.

Every swordsman marches into battle with a shield, just like how his dad has Clarus. The Amicitias, a lineage of Dobermans on a leash. All hard edges and buzzed haircuts, barking at Noctis’ shadow to pick up his pace. “Again,” he’d snarl after tossing Noctis into the air like a softball. “Again,” he’d groan when Noctis tripped over his parries and introduced his face to the hardwood for the umpteenth time this week. “Again,”, he’d scowl as the TV screen burns red with K.O. and Noctis fistpumps the air, seizing victory for the fifth time in a row. Again, and again, and again. They fought. They made up. And they fought again. Gladio gave him none of the niceties as his Shield. His reproaches bruised Noctis both literally and figuratively, hitting his body blue all the way to his heart. He’s nothing like Ignis’ thoughtful insights into Noctis’ tantrums, but strangely, Noctis doesn’t think he needs a second Ignis. Gladio’s okay just the way he is, all bites and barks and bruises too.

Along came Prompto.

His favourite animal? Chocobo. Favourite game? Assassin’s Creed, but he still can’t decide between Black Flag or Origins. His favourite subject to photograph? Noctis. Prompto jogs every morning, works part-time at the camera store up the City Square, eats all Noctis’ leftover greens. He’s the epitome of healthy living, an antithesis to Noctis’ snacks-and-soda galore. But the way the sun loves him, kissing his cheeks to leave freckles in her wake, bounding up the school gates to reach Noctis’ side, it’s a breath of fresh air for him. Nobody’s ever seen him like this before. Like they’re best friends from high school to university and more. Like he’s less of a prince and more of a person.

And then. You.

If he is the True King, then you are the Denied Daughter of the Andronicus. Unloved by your father, unrecognized by your family. Willing to be banished from the comforts a noblewoman should enjoy, retreating to the safety of the Citadel. But did you complain? No, you probably don’t even have time to entertain such thoughts. You’re too busy with chasing your dreams just to succeed your father, to complete your thesis, to live life unlike what you experienced before. You’ve smiled, you’ve laughed, you’ve made friends, and you’ve tasted what he offered. You swore to climb the ranks just to serve him. Who is he to deny you what you want?

Noctis casts a glance at your figure lying prone, head on Byron’s lap.

He knows the risk he takes each time he laces their lives with magic. All the fainting and retching as the average human body adjusts to the Crystal’s intrusion. All the hardships in the future that Niflheim brings. All the lives he might lose. It is a promise that his shared strength will serve as both protection not only for him, but for his friends as well. Senior Glaives commanded the Crystal’s magic through his dad, who also bore the brunt of sustaining the barrier doming Insomnia. The strain shows well enough through accelerated ageing and declining health, something Noctis had closely witnessed in the years that passed. The king suffers as much as his people do. Soon enough, it’ll be his turn. His turn to put on the ring and become the 114th King of Lucis.

And to do that, he needs to be strong, stronger than his father, stronger than the Glaives, and strong enough to protect everyone who risked their lives for him.

Such is the fate of the True King.

The first signs of your consciousness start with a sound, stealing his attention. A soft, weak moan. Noctis uncurls himself from where he’s lounged by the walls, perking up. You rose from your fainting like you rose from your slumber, all sleepy yawns while rubbing your eyes. Like nothing’s wrong, you pull yourself away from Byron’s dismayed fussing, batting off his constant mothering. Then, looking around the hall, he sees confusion creasing your brows, unanswered questions forming on your lips but never rolling off your tongue.

Only after your eyes travel from the high ceilings to the empty armours lining the walls, you catch him in the distance and beckon him over, mimicking a lucky cat calling in customers. “Prince—where’s everyone?”

Plodding over, he drops into the spot next to yours and reminds himself not to peer at your face unless he wants to get smacked in the nose again. “Nyx went back to patrolling. Prom’s at the shooting range. Gladio’s with Specs at the Royal Arsenal since they’re checking out the new shipment of weapons coming in.” After a beat, letting the information sink into your addled head, Noctis swallows. “Uh. Hey, you’re feeling okay?”

You nod, a little too enthusiastic, then regretting your decision seven seconds later. Swallowing down what seems to be an urge to retch, you doubled over with your arms wrapped around your midriff, trembling. “Um. No.” Muffled, but the suffering is evident in your wavering voice. “It’s – ah, a little too much to take in. Kind of,” you shudder, shoulders heaving with the effort of keeping it together, “just kind of – nauseous? Overwhelmed. Headache. Sounds, buzzing sounds like what Nyx said. Too much.”

With how things are turning out, the side effects are probably starting to kick in. Byron runs a sympathetic hand down your back, silenced for once, though the conflicting emotions on his face speak volumes. He brings you to a half-seating position, listlessly leaning most of your weight against him for support.

“This is truly a disaster, milady,” he mutters as your head lolls back into his shoulder. “You look like stale bread.”

Somewhere deep inside, you must’ve summoned the lasts of your strength to roll your eyes. “Thanks for the – accurate description, I feel – like stale bread too.” Momentarily repositioning yourself so you’d fit into the crook of Byron’s arm, you mouth words into his blazer. “What – time is it?”

“A little past two,” Noctis supplies. “You’ve been out for quite a bit.”

You make some indistinct noise in the back of your throat that doesn’t sound pleased, tugging Byron on his cuff. “Go – back, ’s close to father’s teatime. You can’t – miss it.”

Now it’s Byron’s turn to mimic your little eye-rolling, injecting it with a dramatic flair. “And whatever shall I do with you, milady? Leave you here to die?”

You can’t really die from something like this since Gladio, Ignis, and Prompto are living proofs on how the Crystal doesn't kill anyone. He can count on Byron to exaggerate everything. “It’s okay, I’ll take over from here,” Noctis steps into the conversation once again, knowing all too well that he’s standing on the ceremony of you vomiting your guts out—or whatever’s left of your breakfast if you took any. “Want me to take you upstairs?”

That is a line he shouldn’t cross if Byron’s around, apparently.

“We’ll manage quite well on our own.” Byron’s hand on your hip tightens just a fraction, almost imperceptible if Noctis hadn’t been watching closely. “Thank you for your kind offer though, I’ll be sure to be in your debt for several millennia to come.”

Drained from all strength to nag your butler, you throw Byron a mildly peeved look, shaking your head in exasperation. Noctis just shrugs when he catches your gaze, as if you’re apologizing on your butler’s behalf. A jerk, yeah, he knows that much because it’s nothing new if it’s coming from Byron and his prejudice against princes—or whatever that’s up his ass. Surprisingly strong despite his deceivingly lean build, Byron hoists you to your feet, wrapping an arm around your middle to keep your hobbles steady. You manage to wave your farewell like a disjointed ragdoll, one that Noctis receives with a chuckle and returns with his own.

“See – you in King’s Knight—?” you grit out, borderline wheezing now.

Byron, of course, pins you with a threatening glare with his lips pursed, and Noctis, well, Noctis likes pissing Byron off. So he nods as casually as he could, ignoring the well-aimed scowl Byron’s sending his way. “Sure, I’ll text you a Room ID later.”

They’re such simple, insignificant words that meant nothing to others, but they’re more than enough to make you smile for him—even if seconds later, you’re hurling all over Byron’s shoes.

[tbc.]

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)ʖ ͡°) ͡°)¡ intensifies.

1) so remember what i said about this going down the canon path? yea we’re doing a sliiiiight detour for pre-canon into omen route no takebacks now. for those who haven’t watched the omen trailer, you can do so by clicking right HERE! as much as i love the canon story, i can’t help but to wonder what’d happen if they go down the path of the omen trailer so here it is. pls stick around and watch as they ruin the world together (no). (DON’T WORRY I PROMISED HAPPY ENDING SO HAPPY ENDING IT IS). (BUT BEFORE HAPPY ENDINGS THERE NEEDS TO BE SUFFERING. can i get an amen for demon!noct in omen trailer.

2) we’re going to delve into more of noctis and reader spending more time together (hope you readers don’t mind that) because this is the flowering arc for a reason. we’ll explore noctis’ thoughts and dilemmas and how it overlaps with the reader’s own ambitions and how they’ll work together as one. 8’) the next arc is going to be pretty. it’ll be fluffy. and angsty. and watch them fall in love with each other and pretty much go down the path of the omen trailer.

3) Hope you guys liked this long chapter, I couldn’t find a good time to cut off everything so here it is, roughly 9k words. (ALSO THIS IS PRETTY MUCH THE ENTIRE REASON WHY I WROTE LPC TBH, I WANTED AN OMEN ROUTE GDI, THE CONCEPT IS JUST TOO GOOD TO LET GO.) But good news is next chapter is super cute! And good news is, episode ignis is definitely going to ruin us all 8’)

4) Thanks for all the likes and messages and the never-ending support for this fic, I truly hope you guys will enjoy the pre-Omen route, Noctis’ progress from prince to king, the eventual demon!Noct, and so forth. :D

5) I’m rather miffed at Tumblr’s image-inserting option as they no longer allow inserting pictures into the same line as text. It messed up loads of the chatting sequence that was supposed to be cuter with Prompto’s emoji stickers. Reading it on AO3 looks better tbh.

PREVIEW: Something tells him he should lament the loss—but the loss of what, exactly? He cannot truly have lost something if he does not remember what it is in the first place, isn’t it? Yet, the image you cast against a backdrop of fire is one of love, a severe attraction that ran for many months. It makes him forget he stands at the cusp of a shattered world when you stand at the other end, awaiting him with your arms wide open.

P/S: Noctis definitely watched JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure because his Ultimate Pose says so. JJBA is amazing.

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sableaire · 7 years ago

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ooh haikyuu!! for the anime ask

a favorite | don’t watch period | drop if not interested within 2-3 episodes | give it a go, could be your thing | 5 star recommendation (if you like sports anime)

(From this post)

My favorite character is Kozume Kenma because he’s quiet and unassuming, doesn’t like to deal with people, and likes video games. I also like how because he doesn’t interact with people, he observes them from afar and how that plays into his success as a setter for his team. Oh, and Akaashi Keiji! He’s also a reserved personality, but he’s blunt and matter-of-fact, and though he’s polite, he can be cheeky when he wants to be, and honestly, that’s a great combo.

My least favorite characters... hm... well, if we’re just going off the anime, probably So Inuoka from Nekoma (the middle blocker) and Koganegawa Kanji from Datekougyo (the new one). The former was just annoying because he figured out how to block Hinata and Kageyama’s super-quick ver.1, and the latter was just a little too goofy for me.

My favorite relationship is the one between Oikawa Tooru and Hajime Iwaizumi. A superficially antagonistic but solid-to-the-core friendship that’s developed over the years, what’s not to love about it? I love how Oikawa’s high emotional valency is offset by “Iwa-chan’s” more steady personality, but he can draw some emotion out of Hajime, whereas Hajime can draw Oikawa from an emotional extreme back to a more neutral, more productive position. A+ mutually beneficial and supportive relationship.

My favorite moment, uhh... wow, it’s been a while. Honestly, every time Hinata manages to land a really good quick is animated so well. I love it whenever they zoom into his eyes or when the opposing team is still standing after Hinata lands the point, stunned at what just happened.

Do I have any headcanons or theories, hmm... no, not really. I don’t really develop a lot of headcanons or theories since I like working within the realm of the canon for the most part. Or I just can’t remember my headcanons/theories right now, ahaha.

Unpopular opinion, I don’t think Kageyama and Hinata work very well as a ship. I’m all for an antagonistic ship in anime, but these two are, despite all their differences, too similar on some fundamental level. I also can’t really picture Kageyama in a romantic relationship at all. I feel like he’s too devoted to volleyball to notice any romantic feelings he may have.

I would like to tell you how I found it, I really do, but I cannot for the life of me remember. I believe I read the manga first? I know two of my friends were very into it, but I don’t think they’re the ones who got me into it... If it was ever nominated for a manga award, that’s probably how I found it. Or it was on a popular mangas list and I picked it up that way. In any case, I read the manga first, so when the anime came out, I watched that too and was immensely satisfied with the animation quality and the OST.

Random thoughts, well, I haven’t watched the latest season of Haikyuu!!, ahaha. I’m caught up on the manga, so I knew everything that was going to happen, and that kind of keeps me from watching the rest of the anime, especially when there’s so much other stuff I’ve been waiting a lifetime for right now.

#anime #sableask #haikyuu #haikyuu!!#hq!!#Anonymous

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lovehaswonangelnumbers · 5 years ago

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New Post has been published on https://lovehaswonangelnumbers.org/astrology-of-october-2019-justice-for-all/

Astrology Of October 2019 – Justice For All

By Astrobutterfly

Let’s welcome the 10th month of the year or the #libraseason. October is that month of the year when we all are a bit more ‘Libra’ irrespective of what your Sun sign is.

And although Mercury and Venus leave Libra on October 4th, respectively on October 9th, the Sun and Mars spend most of the month of October in Libra.

The Sun and Mars shouldn’t feel good in Libra. The Sun is in fall in the sign of ‘the other’, and Mars is in detriment in the sign of cooperation and diplomacy.

If the planet of individuality (the Sun) and the planet of action (Mars) don’t feel good in Libra, we should expect to have one of those passive, inactive months, right?

Nope. I don’t know how this happens, but October always seems to be one of the busiest and most interesting moths of the year.

Shouldn’t the Sun hide its light in Libra? Shouldn’t Mars be afraid to take action?

We all know how Suns in Leo are like. Suns in Leos love to be acknowledged, even the shy ones.

Mars in Aries or Mars in Scorpio get their way, no matter what. They will win you over, because nobody messes with a Mars in Aries or with a Mars in Scorpio.

What about Libra? Libra is the only inanimate object of the zodiac. Libras don’t seem to have any desire to push themselves forward or go after what they want.

But then we have Mahatma Gandhi, a Sun in Libra, who led India’s independence movement – and inspired civil rights movements all over the world – by using what is called the principle of “nonviolent resistance”.

“Nonviolent resistance” discourages physical violence “nonviolent” (that’s very Libra-like, right?) but still promotes “resistance”. Libra is a cardinal sign, after all. But instead of fighting with swords, Libra fights with words. And it wins.

What about Mars in Libra? John Lennon, Dalai Lama, Bill Clinton, Nelson Mandela, Abraham Lincoln, Pope Francis, Margaret Thatcher, Pope John Paul II – they all have Mars in Libra.

Nelson Mandela fought for a cause, John Lennon fought for peace, and the Popes fought for Christianity.

There’s nothing weak and fragile about Mars in Libra. Mars in Libra people get more things done than many Mars in Aries, Mars in Scorpio or Mars in Capricorn people. Why? Because they don’t fight for themselves.

They fight for an idea. They fight for justice. They fight for the truth. And that’s how they inspire others. That’s how they get things done.

Libra is the sign of reason, judgment, and justice. The scale is a measure of objectivity. What’s right for you (hello, Mars in Aries) may not be right others. That’s why we need an objective measure of what’s right. That’s why we need Libra.

Inside every single one of us, there is a fighter for justice. As long as what you fight for is beyond your personal concerns, as long as you want to find an objective, abstract, universal truth, October is your month.

The first half of October is incredibly intense, featuring a series of T-squares and oppositions. In the 2nd half of the month, things go back to normal, but not for long… the New Moon in Scorpio on October 28th is pretty dramatic, and on October 31st Mercury goes retrograde.

But let’s have a look at the most important transits of the month:

October 1st, 2019 – Venus Square Pluto

On October 1st, 2019 Venus (at 20° Libra) is square stationary Pluto in Capricorn. Obsession, power struggles, and jealousy are the ‘trademark’ of Venus-Pluto aspects.

Venus is strong in its domicile in Libra, but Pluto is even stronger, as it prepares to go direct.

Venus will eventually have to go into the underworld and face some dark emotions – and you will, too, especially if you have planets or angles around 20° in Cardinal signs (Aries, Cancer, Libra, Capricorn).

The good news is that once you purge what’s dead and decayed, you will reconnect with your heart from a more authentic place.

October 3rd – Pluto Goes Direct and Mercury Enters Scorpio

What comes to your mind when you hear “Scorpio”? That’s how October 3rd will feel like. Mercury enters Scorpio, and Pluto, the ruling planet of Scorpio goes direct.

Outer planets spend on average 5 months in retrograde motion, so unlike Mercury retrograde, Neptune or Pluto retrograde are not a big deal.

But when Neptune or Pluto change direction – when they go retrograde or when they go direct – that’s like having Mercury retrograde and Mars retrograde at the same time.

Thankfully, the intensity doesn’t last that long, usually around one week. Today is the peak of the transit, with Pluto changing direction and moving – in tandem with Saturn – towards a conjunction (one of the most important transits of the decade, more details about it coming soon)

October 4th, 2019 – Mars Enters Libra

Mars enters Libra on October 4th, 2019. Even if Mars is in detriment in Libra, let’s not forget that Libra is a cardinal sign. Cardinal = action.

And yes, the 6-week long transit of Mars in Libra is a great time to take action AS LONG as you fight with reason, and as long that what drives you is a sense of justice and equity.

October 6th, 2019 – Sun Square The Lunar Nodes

On October 6th, 2019 Sun (at 13° Libra) is square the Nodes of the Moon. The Lunar Nodes represent our karma: more exactly, our past karma (the South Node) and our opportunity to change this past karma (the North Node).

The Sun is us, our divine mission in this lifetime. Today you can have a breakthrough about your purpose in life and why you are here on Earth.

No matter how fated and unjust some things feel (the South Node), remember you always have free will. You can always change your circumstances for the better.

And if you don’t see any results yet, they will eventually come. With the Nodes, you always reap what you sow. But first, you have to sow.

October 7th – Mercury Opposes Uranus And Sun Squares Saturn

On October 7th, Mercury (at 5° Scorpio) opposes Uranus in Taurus, and the Sun (at 14° Libra) squares Saturn in Capricorn.

Today is not going to be easy, unless you thrive in conflict. And let’s be honest, we all need some conflict from time to time.

But if you know you get easily triggered, better go to the gym today. Or do long hours at the office. Mars opposite Uranus will make you want to speak your truth no matter what. But Sun square Saturn will make you overly critical and mean – toward yourself or others.

This is a combo that can go really really well – if you’re open to change – or really really bad – if you’re stubborn. As always, awareness is key. There is always something to learn, there is always a silver lining.

October 8th, 2019 – Venus Enters Scorpio

Venus enters Scorpio on October 8th. In Scorpio, Venus is not lovey-dovey. In Scorpio, Venus is passionate and intense.

This is the first time Venus returns in Scorpio, after the dramatic Venus retrograde last year. Some themes from the retrograde period can resurface during Venus’s transit in Scorpio, and this time you will have a resolution.

October 9th, 2019 – Mars Opposite Chiron

On October 9th, 2019 Mars (at 3° Libra) opposes Chiron in Aries. Mars opposite Chiron will make you doubt your actions. You may feel unusually vulnerable.

But if you dig into your vulnerability, you may discover something quite surprising about yourself. Chiron transits are always eye-opening, if you don’t close yourself off, and instead choose to listen to what your pain and shame have to tell you.

October 13th, 2019 – Full Moon In Aries

On October 13th, we have a Full Moon at 20° Aries AND Venus (at 5° Scorpio) is opposite Uranus, AND Sun (at 20° Libra) is square Pluto.

This Full Moon basically features a tense cardinal T-square with …no one else but Pluto at the apex. This Full Moon is going to be dynamite! More details, closer to the date.

October 21st, 2019 – Mars Squares The Lunar Nodes

After a week of calm seas, Mars (at 11° Libra) is square the Nodes of the Moon on October 21st, 2019. Should you go for it, or should you stay doing what you know best? Mars wants you to take action, but every time the Nodes get involved, you are at crossroads. As always, you have a choice: to stay with what’s comfortable and familiar (the Souh Node) or to step outside your comfort zone (the North Node).

October 23rd, 2019 – Sun Enters Scorpio

The Sun is going down. The world is ready for a metamorphosis. Welcome to Scorpio season!

October 28th, 2019 – New Moon In Scorpio

On October 28th, 2019 we have a New Moon at 4° Scorpio. This New Moon is exactly opposite Uranus, so you can bet that the Scorpio lunar season will bring lots of changes.

Moreover, the North Node is now at 10° Cancer, conjunct the degree of the 2nd of July eclipse, so it will bring back into our awareness the themes of the eclipse.

October 31st, 2019 – Mercury Goes Retrograde And Is Conjunct Venus

On October 31st, Mercury goes retrograde and is conjunct Venus at the same time. This Mercury retrograde will be all about Venus: love, relationship, money, values.

And because Mercury goes retrograde in Scorpio, the sign of other people’s resources, money, and relationships, this Mercury retrograde is going to be very interesting.

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liliannorman · 5 years ago

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Do school-shooter drills hurt students more than they help?

“My plan always was to go out the window of whatever classroom I was in,” says Aalayah Eastmond. Her elementary school had shooter drills. Her high school held drills during her freshman and sophomore years. Another drill was planned for February of her junior year. Then on February 14, 2018, a gunman entered Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Fla. And all those plans went out the window.

“When you’re actually in the shooting, you don’t have time for that,” Aalayah recalls. “That’s not how it happens.” Within minutes, gunshots killed 17 students and staff members. Classmate Helena Ramsay had been passing back textbooks. Teens were supposed to use them as shields for their heads. Nick Dworet’s body covered Aalayah as she waited for the violence to end.

Six years earlier, a teen gunman opened fire in the cafeteria at Chardon High School in Ohio. Some students fled to a teacher’s lounge and blocked the door with a piano. Others stayed inside their classrooms. A football coach chased the shooter from the building. By then, six students had been shot. Three of them died. Another was paralyzed from the waist down.

Flowers left at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Fla., showed sadness after a shooter killed 17 students and teachers there on Valentine’s Day in 2018.wellesenterprises/iStock Editorial/Getty Images Plus

The tragedy could have been worse, says educator April Siegel-Green. At the time, she headed up student services for the school district. “Prior to the shooting, we had started to develop safety plans,” she explains. “And we had a variety of different types of drills.” She believes the high school’s active-shooter drill “absolutely saved lives.”

More than 240 shootings have happened at U.S. schools since two teen gunmen killed 13 people in 1999 at Columbine High School in Colorado. Those shootings have touched more than 233,000 children and teens, according to a Washington Post tally. Yet school shootings remain quite rare.

“The odds of a student aged five to 18 being a victim of a homicide at school are one in 2.8 million,” says school psychologist Stephen Brock. He works at California State University, Sacramento. You’re much more likely to get hit by lightning. The U.S. National Weather Service puts your lifetime odds for that at one in 15,300. And the National Safety Council says the lifetime odds of dying in a car crash in the United States are one in 103.

Even a tiny chance of a shooting worries educators, however. More than 4 million U.S. students were in at least one lockdown during the 2017-2018 school year. That’s what the Washington Post reported in December 2018. Lockdowns can happen when there’s a threat aimed at a school or somewhere in its vicinity. Schools also want to be prepared before any threat emerges. That’s why about 19 in every 20 U.S. public schools have drills to prepare for possible shooters, according to the National Center for Education Statistics.

Researchers are just beginning to look at the impacts of all those drills. A few studies suggest that certain types of training might minimize the chance of shooting deaths. However, there are no clear standards on how drills should be run.

And those studies that examined drill impacts are not conclusive. Those drills can have emotional impacts on kids. But it’s not clear what those impacts always are and who is most likely to suffer from them. Much depends on the type of drill and the students’ personal situations, psychologists say. And to date, no studies show that drills actually prevent school shootings.

Being prepared

Aalayah didn’t take the possibility of a shooting seriously until she learned that a gunman shot and killed 26 first graders and educators at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Conn. “I thought if it could happen to them — little innocent children — it could definitely happen to me at any time and place,” she recalls.

Many schools have added shooter drills to routine drills for other emergencies, such as fires or earthquakes. Although schools want to keep students safe, some experts worry about the psychological impacts of drills.Bluberries/iStock/Getty Images Plus

Seven-year old Josephine Gay and six-year-old Emilie Parker were killed in that 2012 tragedy. Soon afterward, the girls’ moms founded Safe and Sound Schools. The group supports the idea of safety drills to deal with a wide range of hazards. But the drills need to be appropriate for children’s different stages of development, says Josephine’s mom, Michele Gay. And the drills should avoid scaring or possibly causing their own trauma.

“Obviously, the point is to empower people,” the former teacher says. “But the last thing we should be doing is frightening people.” She says, “We’re not focusing on some bad guy dressed up. We’re not focusing on scary sounds or smells or anything sensorial. We’re literally just talking about how we recognize when we’re in a [threat] situation, and what are the actions.”

Safe and Sound Schools recommends that schools assess their own threat risks and shape plans to their communities. Plans should be tailored to the age and maturity of the kids involved. First graders might learn that different situations call for different responses. If there’s a fire, you leave immediately. If there might be an intruder outside, you find a safe corner in a locked classroom and stay quiet. By high school, you might help with quickly locking and blocking doors.

“When people are faced with an emergency situation, we know that they might not be able to think clearly,” Gay explains. “We want all of that to be ‘pre-loaded.’ That’s why we rehearse the steps of safety.”

“Preparedness is essential,” says Amanda Nickerson. She’s a psychologist at the University at Buffalo in New York. “I think we’re beyond the point of saying let’s not do these drills anymore.” However, there are relatively few studies that point to which drills work best.

Cheryl Lero Jonson is a criminologist at Xavier University in Cincinnati, Ohio. She and her colleagues recently studied how adults performed in two situations. One was a “traditional lockdown.” People locked doors and stayed put. The other was a program taught by the ALICE Training Institute, based in Medina, Ohio. Depending on the situation, participants had to choose whether to get away, to block entry to a shelter spot and hide, or to fight to counter an attack.

For each of several cases, a shooter tried to enter a classroom and shoot plastic pellets at as many people as possible. When people could only hide, the classroom attacks lasted from 22 seconds to almost five minutes. On average, almost three in every four people got shot in those cases. When people had choices, the average time for the classroom attacks was 16 seconds, and an average of just one in every four inside got shot. Jonson’s team concluded that shootings would end sooner and have fewer injuries if drills offered choices. The study appeared in the December 2018 Journal of School Violence.

Explainer: What is a computer model?

Another recent study skipped the guns and used a computer model. Researchers at Purdue University in West Lafayette, Ind., based their model on the 1999 shooting at Columbine High School in Colorado. In that attack, two teens killed 13 people and then themselves. The computer model tested cases in which everyone hid, everyone ran or everyone fought. It also tested a case in which one third ran, another third hid and the rest fought the attackers.

The model’s results showed that everyone would have been shot if they all hid. There would have been 21 victims if everyone ran. And it calculated that there would have been five victims if everyone fought. The best result was the combo scenario, with three victims.

Eric Dietz worked on the model at Purdue. The choices to run, hide or fight aren’t equally good, this computer scientist stresses. “It isn’t run or hide or fight. It’s run if you can. Hide only to get back to running again when you can. And if you can’t run or hide any more, then you’d better fight, because you’ve got no other options left.” He and others hope to minimize casualties if a shooting does take place. But, he adds, “We want to make sure we have some science to back up why we tell students to take certain actions.”

Purdue University researchers created a computer model to see whether “run, hide, fight” strategies would have saved more lives in scenarios based on a 1999 shooting at Columbine High School in Colorado.Eric Dietz/Purdue Univ.

Kenneth Trump heads National School Safety and Security Services. It’s a company in Cleveland, Ohio. He sees a big risk for bias in the study by Jonson’s group. Why? One of its authors works for the ALICE Institute, which makes money doing shooter drills and training. Jonson and the other co-author were certified trainers for the ALICE program. Plus, the study participants were already going through training at the ALICE Institute, and only a few were educators. (Jonson did say that her team took some steps to reduce bias. The “shooter” was not with the ALICE program, and instructions were very specific, for example. Yet the group studied was not a random sample.)

More generally, Trump says, options-based training for students “fails to consider age and developmental factors.” It also fails to consider other variables, such as children who might have special needs (such as being deaf or needing a wheelchair). Students may give shooters more targets if they run. And a majority of school shooters have not been subdued by citizens. Some school employees also have been injured in options-based shooter drills, he adds. In contrast, lockdowns focus on securing classrooms and avoiding more risky situations. In his view, “lockdowns work and are the gold standard in best practices for more than two decades.”

And even the scenarios with fewer victims still had some casualties. Aalayah says she hadn’t minded doing shooter drills because she likes to be prepared. “But afterward, I realized how stupid they are,” she says, “because it doesn’t save you in a real situation.”

Avoiding harm

Julia Susany, now 19, had done different types of shooter drills since first grade. She feels it helped to be prepared. Still, young students didn’t really understand why they did the drills. After the Sandy Hook shooting, that changed. “It wasn’t reassuring once I realized what we were doing,” she says. “It became more creepy.” And it felt like schools were treating shootings as something almost normal. Nonetheless, she says, “I was glad I had at least something to fall back on in case there was an emergency.”

Julia’s high school in Akron, Ohio, taught drills with options to get away, hide or fight. However, the teachers stopped short of having students actually throw things at a role-playing gunman. After all, someone could get hurt.

Several students did get bumps and bruises during a December 2019 drill in New Richmond, Ohio. The principal had acted as a shooter. The students were trying to get away. The school used the same type of program as Julia’s high school.

Some experts also worry that drills could cause emotional harm. In a 2007 study, Nickerson and a colleague looked at the short-term effects of an intruder drill. Two groups of 4th-, 5th- and 6th-grade students learned about the steps. Then they practiced the drill. Teachers locked classroom doors and shut off the lights. Students moved into corners. Everyone tried to stay quiet.

Afterward, the team gave a five-question quiz to those students and two other groups that didn’t do the drills. The groups that practiced had more knowledge about what to do for a drill. And their anxiety levels were not much different from those in kids from the other groups. The team concluded that similar drills could increase children’s short-term knowledge and give them useful skills to use in a real crisis.

Explainer: What is anxiety?

“We didn’t do long-term follow-up in our study,” Nickerson notes. “And I know of no research that has.” Her study also didn’t look at more intense drills, such as run-hide-fight programs. It’s highly unlikely that students would ever come face-to-face with an active threat. Plus, a drill that could cause mental trauma would “raise ethical concerns,” the study noted.

“Getting behind a locked door saves lives,” says school psychologist Melissa Reeves. She studies school-crisis prevention at Winthrop University in Rock Hill, S.C. Typical lockdown drills can be done calmly without raising anxiety levels in most students, she says. “We can’t promise that nothing bad is ever going to happen. But when we give students things to do, it brings a sense of control. And it brings us safety and security.”

Safe and Sound Schools supports a general all-hazards approach to safety drills for students. This page is from one of its toolkits for schools. It summarizes the Get Out-Keep Out-Hide Out approach.Safe and Sound Schools

While options-based programs can be done calmly, some school drills have been far more intense than Reeves or others would recommend. Students have cowered as alarms blared and masked “gunmen” shot blanks or starter guns. Some schools have had students play shooting victims. Teens at one charter high school in Colorado even practiced how to take down a mock gunman.

“We don’t light a fire in the hallway to practice fire drills,” Reeves says. “And we do not have to shoot off a safety gun or have screaming to simulate what it’s like to be in an active-shooter situation.” And while a drill might not be stressful for most students, it could stress some. “If your school is asking you to participate in a highly sensorial drill,” she says, “you have a right to say no if you are uncomfortable.”

Schools also should give students and parents some warning about when drills will happen. “There should never, ever be an unannounced, highly sensorial drill,” Reeves says. “There should never be an unannounced lockdown drill.” Indeed, unannounced drills have caused some kids to run from schools. Panicky 911 calls followed.

If done well, a lockdown drill can lower anxiety and teach students good, adaptive behaviors for when a bad situation arises, Brock says. And the options of evacuating or hiding also can serve other, less scary purposes. For instance, such procedures might deal with something like a strange dog on the premises.

However, Brock recommends against having armed-assailant or active-shooter drills for elementary-school students. And he’s wary about using them with students in middle school and high school. If a student has a history of trauma or is already anxious, depressed or stressed, “these drills are going to be upsetting.” Some students might have had friends or family members who were victims of gun violence.

Others may have mental-health problems, often undiagnosed or untreated. “One in five students in this country is dealing with a mental-health challenge of some sort,” he says. Of those, “only 20 percent are getting care and treatment.” Brock encourages students to talk with school counselors, parents, teachers or other trusted adults if they feel stressed or anxious.

When Chardon High School resumed drills after the 2012 shooting, there were no real gunshots, Siegel-Green says. Parents could choose to keep students home. Counselors were on hand to talk with students. Comfort dogs were also available for at least one drill after the shooting. However, not all schools offer that type of follow-up. Julia says students at her school generally knew they could see a counselor if they felt stressed. Still, it wasn’t emphasized.

“In most cases, people participate in these drills and don’t get more anxious and fearful. But that could certainly happen. And we want you to know that you’re not alone,” Nickerson says. He emphasizes that “it’s a giant strength ⎯ not weakness ⎯ that you’re able to identify a problem that you need help with.”

Beyond drills

“Engaging students in safety doesn’t just mean practicing for these worst-case scenarios,” says Gay, the Sandy Hook parent. Her group encourages students to start safety clubs. Service projects by club members can help schools spot possible dangers sooner. They also give students a voice in school safety planning. Other groups aim to decrease bullying. Some school shooters had been victims of bullying.

When it comes to school violence, “there are often warning signs,” says a February 2020 report from the Everytown Gun Safety Support Fund and teacher and student groups. Spotting those signs can help educators take action to prevent violence before it happens.

Stricter laws on gun storage also can keep firearms out of many shooters’ hands, the groups say. And often a shooter may target classmates at a school he or she attended. So, the report argues, “safety drills with students may be ineffective” because they would share preparedness steps with the people most likely to carry out a shooting.

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Parkland shooting survivor Aayalah Eastmond testified before Congress on February 6, 2019.

Other prevention efforts aim to beef up school security. Many schools have limited entry to no more than one or two doors. Many have added security cameras. Some schools also have added metal detectors and even armed staff members or regular police patrols. It’s unclear whether such measures make students much safer or just introduce extra risk. Their impacts on students also vary. A lot depends on the particular community.

A student’s’ race can make a difference too, says Bryan Warnick, an education expert at Ohio State University in Columbus.

Aalayah happens to be Black. She says her last year of high school in Parkland “was pretty uncomfortable for kids that looked like me.” The school didn’t have metal detectors, but it added some armed guards with rifle cases. “That’s really uncomfortable and triggering for people that were directly impacted by the shooting,” she says. “And also uncomfortable for students of color because we are not greeted nicely by police officers.”

In any case, she argues, extra school-security steps and shooter drills are “just a Band-Aid on the real issue.” Mass shootings at schools and other places are terrible tragedies. Yet they account for fewer than two in every 100 U.S. gun deaths, data from the Pew Research Center show. Those shootings get lots of media attention. Yet there are many more gun deaths from suicide, domestic violence and other murders.

“We don’t need active shooter drills,” Aalayah concludes. “We need actual legislation that will prevent gun violence from entering our schools and other places.”

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