#Colton Parayko imagines

[yourfavewriteress]

right under our noses (part 5) | colton parayko

Teaser: "I feel it in my gut, Colt."

“What are you doing right now?” Jayne’s voice sounded in your ear seconds after you answered her call. You had gotten home from work nearly two hours ago, taking time to only shower then collapse in your living room.

"Laying on my couch watching Netflix,” you responded.

“Well, we’re having some people over after 8 and I want you to come,” She said.

“Last minute invite, nice," You rolled your eyes. "What does 'some people' mean?"

“The team and close friends,” Was the reply. It was never just the "team and close friends."

“I don’t feel like doing my makeup, Jayne,” You groaned. “Or, even getting dressed for that matter. I just laid down.”

“Come on, please?” She pleaded. “It’s lowkey so you don’t have to really wear makeup if you don’t want to.”

"But I would need to change. Do you know how much energy that would require?"

"If we waited around for you to have energy, we would never see you!" You heard Alex yell in the background.

"Why am I always on speaker?"

"You have something to hide from me, Y/L/N?"

“Anyway,” You rolled your eyes. “Will jeans and a t-shirt satisfy you guys? It doesn't sound like I can get out of this.”

“That sounds perfect,” Jayne responded. “Just come by whenever you’re ready.”

“Do you want me to bring anything?” 

“Nope, we’re all good. See you when you get here!”

“Bye.”

You definitely took your time getting ready. Although you said you wouldn't put in any effort, you ended up showering, doing light makeup, AND coordinating a presentable outfit.

By the time you pulled into Jayne and Alex's gate, you could tell quite the crowd had already started to form inside. You took a deep breath before pushing your way through the doors and the growing crowd. Saying hi to a few people as you made your way to the kitchen, you made a beeline for the Vodka bottle.

"I thought you weren't going to show," Alex appeared next to you within a few seconds.

"I considered it," You smiled.

"How's the job search going?"

You rolled your eyes, "Is that really the first question you want to ask me when I have a glass bottle in my hand?"

He laughed loudly, voice echoing over the music, "Understood, boss."

"I thought this was supposed to be a small get-together?" You asked.

"Is that what Jayne said?"

"Your wife is a liar."

"No argument there," He shook his head. "But, if you need a minute, the patio is always pretty quiet, because I always tell the guys to stay away from it."

"I'll probably head out there for a bit before I put on my social smile."

Alex left you alone in the kitchen, wheels already turning in his head. He pulled his wife, Jayne, away from her friends and into their bedroom.

"What? She was just going to give me what moisturizer she's been using!"

"One, your skin is beautiful, baby," She smiled at that. "Two, Y/N just got here and I think she's going to the patio."

"Is she okay? Should I go check on her?"

"She's fine. And no, you shouldn't go, but maybe someone else. If I'm the one to tell him to go to the patio, it's going to be obvious."

"Well, he was telling me earlier that he had a headache from the music."

"You have to be slick about it," Alex coached. "If he even smells bullshit, he'll figure it out once he gets out there."

"Okay, so what do I do?"

****

You made a deal with yourself: you could only stay outside for four songs. Anything more than that, you should have just stayed home. You knew Jayne wouldn't invite you out if the other half of the experiment wasn't here, and you had to make yourself seen.

The third song started to play, and you began to coach yourself to be the social butterfly you knew you could be. All before...

“Can I join you?” You turned around at the sound of the voice. You smiled widely when you locked eyes with Colton. My savior.

“Yes, of course,” You slid over, making room for him on the stairs. “Get tired of the crowd?”

“A little bit," He laughed. "This song is a fan favorite and I don't think my head can take the yelling. Plus, I saw you out here and wanted to make sure you were good."

“Oh,” I waved him off. “I’m fine, just needed to feel fresh air for a second.”

“It is getting a little tight in there now,” He commented, looking over his shoulder to Alex and Jayne’s home which had continued to fill up more and more in the past half hour.

“How’s your night going?” You asked.

He shrugged, “Pretty good, this was the only thing I got out of bed for today.”

“That sounds like such an amazing day,” You nodded. “I’m jealous.”

“You worked today?” Nod again. “When was your last day off?”

You thought back, “Last Tuesday, maybe? I’m not sure.”

“You’ve worked ten days straight?”

“I probably shouldn’t have told you that,” You sighed. 

“I’m not going to say anything,” He held up his hands. “You’re an adult, you make your own decisions.”

“Thank you,” You said, letting out a laugh after.

“But, you deserve better.”

“I remember our deal at the bar, Colton," You pointed out. “I plan on holding up my end, trust me.”

“How do you even work that much?”

"Well, not everyone is on an NHL contracted salary," You responded. "I do have to pay my bills."

"I get that part, but how do you actually make it through every day when you hate your job?"

You smiled, incidentally leaning closer to him as you reached into my left pocket. You pulled out the bag of gummy worms you had brought, “Sugar.”

Colton took a slightly deeper breath when he got a waft of your shampoo as you leaned closer to him. He had never smelled anything like it, like you. And your smile. His eyes flickered to your lips and back up before he could even register it.

You were doing things to him that even he had never felt before. That’s why it was so easy for him to mistake the goosebumps you gave him for being from the windy night air.

“No way,” Colton laughed. “The only thing that keeps me going sometimes is a soda.”

“Yeah, it’s either that or candy,” You agreed. “Sometimes I get worried that I might get diabetes.”

“Me too,” He responded. “If you had to pick one food or drink to have an unlimited supply of for the rest of your life, what would it be?”

“One?” You asked, earning a nod. “Hm, I’m not really sure. I feel like if I had an unlimited supply of gummy worms, that’d be great. They definitely raise the prices once a month.”

“You’d get a lot of cavities,” Colton commented.

“I wouldn’t eat it all at once, but to not have to buy it every single time I have a craving? Heaven,” You sighed, happily.

He smiled as he shook his head, “Heaven with cavities.”

“You’re one to talk,” You chirped lightly. “You’re going to get diabetes with all the sugar you consume from those cokes. At least my gummy worms are sugar-free.”

He rolled his eyes, “Then, does that really help? Anything sugar free is a scam.”

You laughed at him, your head thrown back. “It tastes the same!”

“I can’t believe you,” He shook his head, smiling. “Phony.”

A comfortable silence fell over you both for a few moments.

“You guys had a game yesterday, right?” You asked as another song began to play inside.

“Yeah,” He nodded. 

“I’m taking it didn’t go as planned?” 

“It was alright,” He shrugged lightly, looking back over Alex and Jayne’s yard. 

“That’s exactly what I said when you asked about work at the bar,” You teased, nudging his shoulder. “Should I be encouraging you to quit, too?”

He laughed, “Not at all.”

“Yeah, my job doesn’t come with traveling the country.” You said. “Honestly, I’m still super confused about hockey and the calls that refs make. I mostly just let Jayne translate for me.”

Laughing, “Refs definitely make bullshit calls a lot, though.”

“Is that what happened yesterday? I didn’t catch the game but Jayne was texting me about it.”

He shrugged, “There were a couple of questionable calls, but we lost because we’re not playing the way we should be.”

“Well, I guess you guys are going to be busy at your next practice".

“I just feel like my game has been lacking so much lately,” Colton sighed, eyes still trained on the yard ahead. “And, then we just keep losing so that solidifies it.”

“Or, it solidifies that the entire team needs to try something different?” You suggested, raising your eyebrows at him. “It is a team sport, right? You can’t take all the heat for yourself, just like you can’t take all the praise.”

“I’m pretty sure I deserve the heat, though.”

“Okay, break it down for me, since I’m a hockey idiot,” You started, turning to face him. “Tell me what you think is going wrong.”

“You’re not an idiot,” He rolled his eyes. “And, do you really want me to bore you with hockey at a party? You don't want to go back inside and have fun?

“To be honest, I lied before. I’m actually out here because I didn’t want to come in the first place but Jayne begged and also lied about how many people would be here. Which is very common for her, so I don't know why I fell for it.”

“I’m obligated to be here because of the team,” He let out a laugh.

“So, we both got screwed,” You laughed, making him smile. “I was going to just sit in silence anyway, so if you want to talk about hockey, I’ll listen.”

It was a genuine offer, and Colton knew that as he looked into your eyes. He felt something at that moment, but he really couldn’t figure out what it was. It was almost a calming feeling, like all the stresses he had been feeling were subdued for the time that he was with you. 

He explained everything to you, way more than you were ever going to be able to remember but you watched him relax as he talked. What started as a self-deprecating account turned into Colton going through some of his favorite hockey moments, of his career and of all time. 

“I wish I had something to be this invested in,” You let out a laugh after he had finished going over the team’s Stanley Cup run.

“Well, what are you interested in?” He turned to you, leaning back against the patio. He took another sip of his drink. “Now it’s your turn to talk.”

And, talk, you did. You surprised yourself with how much you told Colton, but he had given the same amount. It was only fair. You were reminded then how much you got along with him. Even though you guys only spoke at times like these where the team was gathered with close friends, he was always one of the easiest people to talk to. It wasn’t uncommon for you both to be catching up at parties.

Colton enjoyed your conversation and realized that you both had a lot more in common than he originally thought. And, you could clearly talk about anything. Well, obviously. We’re friends, he thought.

And, Alex. There was a voice in Colton’s head, telling him that you were the person he was being set up with. The louder voice, however, reminded him that Alex cared too much about you to ever set you up with someone on the team, let alone him. 

Colton vowed at that moment to completely remove you from his list of potential matches. It would only hurt him in the end, to wish it was you and then be disappointed. He felt that it was nearly impossible for it to happen, and he actually enjoyed having you as someone to talk to. She’s a friend. He had to respect Alex’s wishes, and if he was being honest, he thought you were out of his league too.

“Hey, Y/N?” You both turned at the sound of a voice behind you. “Jayne is looking for you.”

“Oh, okay,” You smiled at Ryan. “I’ll be right in.”

He nodded, disappearing back inside. 

“She’s probably going to make me drink something with her so I don’t know how conversational I’ll be after that.”

Colton laughed, “Maybe another time, then.”

“Definitely next time,” You corrected, pushing yourself up to your feet. “I want to hear all about the team’s crazy comeback, and your point streak.”

“How do you know that’s gonna happen?” He laughed. “What if you just jinxed it?”

“I feel it in my gut, Colt.” You said, right before you disappeared inside to find Jayne. 

Although you didn’t realize it, your words stuck with Colton. Not just your belief in him, but the nickname, too. It wasn’t the first time you’ve used it, but it was the first time it gave him goosebumps. 

A few hours later, as the party died down and people began to disperse, you were having a very tipsy conversation with an also very tipsy Jayne. “I’m really glad you came.”

“Honestly,” You paused, pursing your lips. “It was bad, at all. I actually talked to Colton for a bit and then drank, probably a bit too much, with Vince.”

“Really?” She quickly found something to occupy her eyes with because although she was drunk, there was no way she was going to blow up her own plan. “How was that? Your talk with Colton, I mean. We all know how Vince gets at these.”

“None of your business,” You joked with a serious tone. Jayne froze, looking back at you.

“Uh-”

“-Dude, I was just kidding,” You furrowed your eyebrows curiously at her with a laugh. “What is wrong with you?”

“Nothing,” She recovered, taking a sip of her drink again. "I thought something happened."

“Okay,” You trailed off. In your drunken state, you didn’t bother to further question. “It was actually pretty nice, though. We talked about hockey and my job, nothing serious.”

“That’s cool,” Jayne said. “I’m glad, he’s been feeling down lately.”

“Yeah, I could tell. I just told him he doesn’t need to be because all I hear about him from the other guys is how good he is. Tonight was actually the first night I somewhat understood hockey,” You shrugged absentmindedly. Not knowing how to respond without blurting out “You’re perfect for each other!” Jayne began to recount what she could remember of her night. 

Later that night, Alex and Jayne settled in bed after making sure you were asleep in their guest room. 

“How drunk are you?” Alex laughed at his wife, pulling back the covers for her.

“Just a little,” Jayne responded with a laugh. “But, I think we’re making headway with the plan.”

Raising his eyebrows, “How? What did I miss?”

“Y/N and Colton were on the steps for at least an hour talking tonight!” Jayne whispered excitedly. “She said it was really nice.”

“Holy shit,” Alex said. “She figured it out, then?”

“No, no, I don’t think she has a clue. Maybe if she was sober, she would have put two and two together, but I tried not to pry too much and make it obvious.”

“What did they talk about?”

“She said this was the first night she actually understood anything about hockey.” Alex smiled, rolling his eyes. “And, I guess they talked about her job, too.”

“Well, it had to be good if they talked for an hour, right?” Alex shrugged. “Is that really where he disappeared to? I remember him saying he was getting a drink and then I didn't see him for a while.”

“I guess so.”

“Now that I think about it, he did seem like he was in a better mood when he came back,” Alex said.

“Do you think they’re going to figure it out?”

“I feel like Y/N is going to catch on sooner than we think,” Alex said, looking up at the ceiling. “She over analyzes everything.”

“I don’t think so," Jayne replied. "Do you see the way Colton looks at her?"

"No, how?" Alex looked over at her.

"Like she puts the fucking stars in the sky," Jayne laughed. "I only noticed it tonight, but I think he may already have it figured out."

"I highly doubt it, he would have said something to me."

"Well, until either of them say anything, the plan is still in motion. We should talk about next steps in the morning. I have to sleep."

[mourirderire]

NHL Fic Rec list

Hiii!!! I just wanted to share a few fics that really made me feel strong emotions...

Oh and make sure to check the warnings before reading :)

Avalanche:

Four times You Run Into Cale Makar and the One Time He Runs Into You - @kailyn-writes

i miss you like the very first night (Cale Makar) - @mattyanonwrites

Mistletoe Magic (Cale Makar) - @the-penalty-box-imagines

Nothin' Like You (Cale Makar) - @ghstandpucks

Teach Me To Please (Cale Makar) - @pucksalotguys

Annoying Little Brother (Erik Johnson) - @ghstandpucks

Apartment 352 pt 1 (Erik Johnson) - @imaginingsoftly

Have My Cake and Eat It Too (Erik Johnson) - @mikkorantanev

Like Father Like Son (Erik Johnson) - @ghstandpucks

look what you started (Erik Johnson) - @mattyanonwrites

Only All the Time (Erik Johnson) - @antoineroussel-archive

Overwhelming Light (Erik Johnson) - @burkymakar

the nanny (Erik Johnson) - @holy-pucks

Two Slow Dancers (Erik Johnson) - @hockeywocs

The Turn In Our Relationship (Gabriel Landeskog) - @yourfavewriteress

The Second Time (Nathan Mackinnon) - @wyattjohnston

Till Forever Falls Apart (Nathan Mackinnon & Sidney Crosby) - @pucksalotguys literally heres their whole masterlist i encourage you to read them all

Blues:

Right Under Our Noses (Colton Parayko) - @yourfavewriteress

Bruins:

5 Times the Team Told David He Was in Love + 1 Time he Realized it (David Pastrnak) - @mainlypastrnaksbae

Canucks:

Coach Hughes (Quinn Hughes) - @matsmarts

Midnight Rain (Quinn Hughes) - @babydollmarauders

Milkshakes AU (Quinn Hughes) - @hugheshugs

Devils:

Lies (Jack Hughes) - @nolanmoylee

Kraken:

Four Times His Teammates Said "I love you," and One Time He Did (Vince Dunn) - @blueskrugs

Panthers:

Baby, It's Cold Outside (Matthew Tkachuk) - @raysofcrosby

Wish We Were Older (Matthew Tkachuk) - @sorryjustafangirl

Penguins:

By The Water, Euphoria (Sidney Crosby) - @flashyfucker

Illicit Affairs (Sidney Crosby) - @blueskrugs

Two Little Lines (Sidney Crosby) - @pucksalotguys

Maple Leafs:

What Once Was (Mitch Marner) - @idontgiveaflyinggrayson69

Sabres:

All's well that ends well to end up with you (Tyson Jost) - @mattyanonwrites

[laurenairay]

hiii I hope you have a wonderful birthday :DDDD

would you be able to write for Colton Parayko with #7 "It's raining, you're going to get sick." ?

Thank you so much!! This prompt for Colton made me feel super emotional so this is essentially just pure angst that I got carried away with.

“It’s raining, you’re going to get sick.”

Words: 1.2k

*

Rain was pouring heavily outside when you heard a series of knocks at your door. You were having a night in to yourself, taking the time to indulge yourself with a good book, and you sure as hell weren’t expecting anyone. You’d seen most of your friends yesterday night, and you sure as hell didn’t have a date waiting since your ex broke things off last month – so what the hell?

With a frown you put your bookmark in to hold your page, heading down the hallway to your front door. But when you saw who was standing there, your jaw dropped slightly with shock.

Colton.

The ex who’d broken up with you last month.

What the actual hell.

“What are you doing here?” you frowned, crossing your arms over your chest for your own comfort if nothing else.

“I just…I had to see you. I couldn’t leave things the way I did. You didn’t deserve it, any of it. I’m so sorry.”

The fucking audacity.

He had the nerve to show up at your front door after breaking up with you an entire month ago, having heartlessly said that he didn’t want to commit to anything serious after leading you on with dates and flowers and sex and romance…and now he was back with this bullshit?

“No, I didn’t deserve any of it. But what the fuck, Colton? What made you think that coming here was acceptable in the slightest?”

“I wasn’t thinking…”

Well that much was obvious.

“…but you deserved an apology and I couldn’t get it out of my head until I’d seen you. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I made a stupid mistake,” he finished desperately.

If he’d turned up at your door three weeks ago, you would’ve taken him back without a second thought. But now, now that the hurt had sunk in and you’d started to mend your broken heart, you just couldn’t bring yourself to crumble into his arms.

“You think I’m just going to take you back? Forgive you because you’ve said that you’re sorry? The world doesn’t work like that,” you said angrily, glaring up at him.

“Tell me what I can do. I’ll do anything, please. Even just for you to hear me out,” he pleaded.

Those big beautiful eyes still made you weak at the knees, and you cursed yourself as you could feel your walls starting to crack.

As if the universe was making its own judgement, thunder boomed overhead, making you both jump, and the rain seemed to come down even heavier, pounding on the pavement. A car driving past skidded on the wet road, making you wince, glancing up at Colton to see him watching it nervously. You remembered how much he hated driving in the rain as it was, and this was verging on dangerous. Damn it. You couldn’t send him away now – you weren’t that heartless.

“Come inside,” you sighed.

“What?”

“It’s raining, you’re going to get sick,” you said, pursing your lips, “And there’s no way you can drive in this. Come on.”

“Are you sure?” Colton said, hesitating.

“Have I ever said something I didn’t mean?” you asked, raising an eyebrow.

Colton just ducked his head, avoiding your gaze, but stepped past you into your house, letting you shut the door behind him. You glanced up at him as you stepped around him, frowning at the way his hair was dripping wet and his clothes were soaked.

“Wait there, I’ll get you a towel to dry off,” you said softly.

You didn’t bother waiting for a response as you walked into your home, heading straight for the linen closet in the bathroom and pulling out the largest fluffiest towel you had. It was then that you noticed the sweatpants you’d stuffed in the closet too, when you’d been desperate to get them out of your sight, and you felt yourself tremble at the memory. How dare he just show up like this, with no warning after everything he said?

No, he didn’t get to make you feel like this in your own home. He didn’t deserve such an emotional reaction – you could be polite and distant until the rain stopped, and that would have to be enough.

Without further hesitation, you grabbed the sweatpants too, and walked back out to where your ex-boyfriend was standing by the front door still, shoes taken off and neatly put in your shoe rack, coat hanging on a hook too.

“Here, this towel should do,” you said simply, “I have these as well. Didn’t have the chance to wash them yet but they’re clean enough if you want to get out of your wet jeans.”

As you tossed the sweatpants to Colton, to call the look on his face devastation would be an understatement.

“Baby, wait, please I…”

“Don’t call me baby. Not after everything,” you said sharply.

You winced as he seemed to flinch slightly, but he took the sweatpants from you without protesting. Colton didn’t take long to scrub his hair dry, and he handed the damp material to you without a word. You didn’t know if it was because he looked like a wet kitten, ruffled and miserable, but you felt the ice in your heart melt just that little bit more, and you found yourself sighing.

“I’ll let you get changed, okay? Meet me in the kitchen, I’ll make you some coffee to warm up,” you said softly.

“Thanks,” he nodded.

By the time Colton walked into your kitchen, he looked a little drier, almost as if time hadn’t passed at all and he was just chilling in your home for the evening. It was a comforting sight, even if it sent a stab of pain through you as you knew you didn’t get to have this anymore.

“What made you think turning up here was a good idea, Colton?” you asked, passing him a cup of coffee, made just as he liked.

“I don’t know. All I could think of was coming to see you, trying to make things right. I’ve been such an idiot, treating you like shit when you deserve to be treated like a princess,” he sighed.

“I deserve to be treated like a person,” you shot back, raising your eyebrows, “And you didn’t do that when you told me that you couldn’t commit to me.”

Colton nodded miserably, setting the coffee mug down on the kitchen side to scrub a hand over his hair.

“I know I don’t deserve to even be in your house right now. I know that I don’t deserve you talking to me at all, not for a minute. But I’m begging you, please let me have a chance to make this right, to make things up to you. Please,” Colton asked quietly.

You’d never heard him so desperate, so emotional, not in the 6 months of your relationship…thing, whatever it was in the end. Maybe you deserved to get some closure, if nothing else.

“Fine. I’ll hear you out. But you’re leaving when the rain stops,” you said firmly.

He nodded so quickly that it made you laugh, Colton’s sweet face not losing that desperation.

“Thank you. Thank you for giving me a chance,” he murmured.

“Don’t thank me yet,” you said, pursing your lips, “You broke my heart, Colton. There’s a long way before I’ll even consider letting you make things up to me.”

“I can work with that,” he replied.

You knew you were in trouble the moment you saw that hopeful smile on his face.

[leafsbabe]

beach vacation - Colton Parayko x masc! reader

cparayko

Liked by stlouisblues, yourusername and 12.703 others

cparayko off season adventures 

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sunnyforme is this him coming out or something because i might just have to start following hockey now

coltonparayhoe nah that’s old news pretty sure this is him soft launching a boyfriend

stlouisblues enjoy your vacation Colton, we’re looking forward to seeing you on the ice again next season!

yourusername

Liked by cparayko, yourbestfriend and 61 others

yourusername 👨🏽‍🤝‍👨🏼

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cparayko ❤️

yourbestfriend when did this happen???

yourusername surprise

cparayko added to their private story

cparayko added to their story

cparayko

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cparayko oops

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yourusername you’re lucky you’re cute

cparayko 😄

50shadesofblue supportive comment

[senditcolton]

1k Cele-Bakery Masterlist

THE ORDERS

“Lead Me to the Garden” Chai Cookies (blurbs)

Blue Salvia [JT Compher x reader] Candytuft [Tyson Jost x OC Madeleine Murphy] (part of the “call my bluff, call you babe” universe) Daffodil [Mat Barzal x OC Delaney Pierce] (part of “the pull of you” universe) Edelweiss [Matt Martin x reader] (part of the “we’re a bad idea” universe) Gardenia [Andrei Svechnikov x reader] (part of the ”king of my heart” alternate universe) Gardenia [Colton Parayko x OC Elizabeth Astor] (part of the “would it be enough?” universe) Holly [Tyson Jost x reader] Myrtle [Casey Cizikas x reader] Myrtle [Tyler Seguin x reader] Oak [Brock Boeser x reader] Oak [Ryan Graves x reader]

“Showstopper” Sugar Cookies (moodboards)

“at least we were electrified” with Matt Martin (part of the “we’re a bad idea” universe) Carnival Date with Andrei Svechnikov “Knights of Silver & Gold” with Marc-Andre Fleury Lake Shenanigans with Tyson Jost Renaissance Faire with Brock Boeser Vacation with Mat Barzal

“Wild and Wacky” Vintage Chocolate Cake (headcanons)

Getting Lost on a Long Drive with Tyson Jost Going to a Sauna with Mikko Rantanen Moving Into a New Home with Roope Hintz

“Sweet Like Honey” Buttermilk Honey Bread (playlists)

Forbidden Royal Romance with Andrei Svechnikov (part of the “king of my heart” universe)Meeting in a Bookshop with Sidney Crosby Unrequited Love with Erik Johnson

“The Apple of My Eye” Caramel Rose Apple Pie (fic recs)

Jake Oettinger Mikko Rantanen Sidney Crosby Tyson Jost

“Too Good, Too Pure” Cinnamon Roll (ask games)

Top 5 NHL Players Top 5 Places I’ve Seen Top 5 Tropes to Read Top 5 Tropes to Write Top 5 Underrated Active NHL Players Top 5 Vacation Spots

THE THANKS

First, I want to give a special shoutout to a few very special people who I cherish dearly and can’t imagine my time on hockeyblr without them:

Demi ( @wyattjohnston )  You are a bright, shining, sparkling light in this community. You are always so wonderful and welcoming to everyone and I can’t imagine both my time without you nor hockeyblr without you. Thank you for the support on my fics, for hopping in my askbox, and for literally everything you do!!! 

Em ( @texanstarslove ) My goodness! I don’t even know how to describe how wonderful I think you are. You were one of the first blogs I followed here and I thought to myself “wow, she is so cool”. And look at us now! Thank you for allowing me to hop in your askbox and torture you with thoughts (or more accurately, thots) about our favorite hockey boys and for being an overall genuine and sweet person!!!

Lauren ( @laurenairay ) Words cannot describe how amazing and caring of a person you are! You are always taking time out of your day to send me sweet messages and always leaving the sweetest tags on my fics and just... wow! I always look forward to seeing you; in my askbox/messages, in my notifs, on my dashboard. Keep being the golden beautiful human you are!!

I also want to give a quick, special shoutout to three blogs that are not as active/inactive that I still consider very close friends and shaped my hockeyblr experience: Ilyana ( @hookingminor ), Alex ( @toplinetommy ), and Hannah ( @yeeehaw-hockey ). 

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Shoutout to every single one of you for being here!! If you didn’t see your name above, that doesn’t matter; I love you just as much! When I say I couldn’t do this without you, I mean it!!! (no literally, this celebration wouldn’t exist if 1k of you didn’t decide to hit that follow button)

[ilyasorokinn]

(day nine) the tree party , colton parayko

note, this fic is part of my christmas series called taylor's very merry christmas series. check out this masterlist for the rest of the series. pair, colton parayko x reader summary, picking out a christmas tree was always a ceremonious day for the parayko family. and this year, they had a new addition, winnie, so that made the whole thing all the more special. warnings, children/kids word count, 1073 words

(gif not mine)

When you and Colton first moved in together, Colton made it a whole thing. He made it an entire day. You got breakfast, then got your tree, which was a whole process in it itself. Then you went home and put on a Christmas movie while decorating your tree.

You had done it with Henry for the last 4 years, and this year, it would be Colton, you, Henry, and Winnie.

"Can we go yet?" Henry whined as he stomped around the front door. All of you were ready, but Winnie still took a little longer to get ready because she was a baby and needed a little more than you all did.

"Be patient, dude." Colton rustled his hair, "You know your sister takes a little more time than you and me." Henry sighed, hopping up onto the bench in the entryway and waiting.

After getting Winnie ready and getting both kids strapped in the car, you were on your way to the diner you always had your special breakfast.

"Well, if it isn't my favorite family." The same waitress since you had started your tradition almost 6 years ago, Penny, greeted you with a bright smile.

Henry let go of Colton's hand and ran over to hug her, "Hello, Henry. Oh, look at you. Look at how big you've gotten." He smiled bashfully.

She looked up from Henry and gasped when she saw the stroller you were pushing, "Get out!" She laughed. You pushed up the hood of the stroller so she could see Winnie, "Oh, look at her. She's beautiful." Penny cooed.

"Thank you." You smiled.

"What's her name?"

"Winnifred, Winnie for short," Colton answered.

"She's beautiful." You smiled as Penny led you over to your usual table which had a "reserved" plaque on it, "Barry almost shouted at a group of kids who almost sat here this morning."

"Oh, you don't have to save this table for us we're fine sitting at a different table."

"It's no trouble." She shook her head with a smile, "I'll be back with your drinks."

The majority of breakfast was filled with you telling Henry to eat some pancakes with his syrup and Colton to eat slower because he was so excited.

After breakfast, you were on your way to the tree farm, listening to Christmas music the entire way there. When you got to the farm, Colton hadn't even stopped the car before Henry was unbuckling his seatbelt.

"Hey, your butt stays in that seat until the car stops." You reminded him and he quickly sat back down. Once Colton stopped the car, then Henry jumped up and out of his seat.

You and Colton both got you. While Colton got the stroller out, you helped Henry out of his seat and held his hand as he pointed out all the things he saw.

Henry started pulling you off, having no regard for his sister or father, "Slow down, buddy." You laughed, "You gotta wait for Winnie and dad."

He stopped and turned around to see where the two were. Once they were close enough, he started pulling out off again, "I know you're excited. But I kind of need my arm." You joked.

"Come on, mommy, all the good trees are getting taken." Henry told you.

"I don't think they are. The perfect one for us will still be there." You reassured. Something caught Henry's attention, and he was quickly dragging you towards it, "Hot choclate?"

"Can we? Please?"

"You just had breakfast, which was practically a bowl of syrup."

"Please?" He begged.

"Fine." You relented. You ordered two hot chocolate, and made your way back over to Colton, who had Winnie in his arms, as he showed her the trees.

You handed one of the cups to Henry, who eagerly began blowing on the hot liquid, "That's right. Blow." You nodded as you blew on your own cup.

You wandered through the rows and rows of trees, trying to find the "perfect" tree, as Henry called it, "Do you see it yet?" You asked. Henry shook his head response.

You and Colton shared a look. You had been there for a little too long, and you were getting cold and you were starting to get worried about Winnie being too cold.

"All right, well, you gotta pick one soon. It's getting cold." Colton told him.

"Okay." He nodded. You wandered down a few more aisles before Winnie let out a cry.

Colton began bouncing up and down trying to get her to stop crying. You worked quickly, grabbing a bottle from the baby bag and pouring some of the milk from the insolated cup into Winnie's cup.

"All right, Henry, if you don't pick a tree-"

"This one!" He exclaimed, pointing to the tree you were standing in front of. You and Colton both looked at the tree, examining his pick.

"Are you sure? After this, there's no going back." You told him.

"I'm sure." He nodded.

"All right, I'll go find someone." Colton handed Winnie off to you and went off in search of someone who worked there.

-

When you got home, with the tree safely strapped to the top of your car, you called in some reinforcement (some of the guys) to help you bring the tree into the house.

They stuck around to help hang up a couple ornaments and play with baby Winnie who loved all the attention. While Winnie was distracted by her Uncle Robert and Uncle Scandy, you, Colton and Henry started decorating the tree with all your ornaments.

Well, it was mainly you and Colton because Henry was distracted by the Christmas movie playing on the TV.

Once you were done and every ornament was on your tree, there was only one thing left to do, "Hey, bud, do you want to put the star on the top of the tree?"

He nodded eagerly, taking the star from you and waiting for Colton to pick him up. Once he was tall enough, he carefully placed the star on the tip of your tree.

Once he was safely on the ground, Colton made his way around the tree to the back so he could plug the lights into the outlet. He took a step back, wrapping an arm around your shoulders as you marveled at your tree.

"Go us." You held your hand up.

"Yeah." Colton chuckled in agreement, slapping his hand against yours.

-

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[twinklelilstarkey]

For the Colton Imagine can it be something like proposal or with kids (he just looks adorable with children)

Kids - Colton Parayko

A/N: Of course, baby! I chose with kids because I just couldn't say no to that. Here it is.

Words: 2.7k+

Type: Fluff

Warnings: Reader is a kindergarten teacher. Kids (?). Just Colton melting over kids and being their favorite.

To say that your boyfriend looked cute when with kids, is an understatement. He’s just the purest and most adorable person when he’s close to a kid. His whole expression can change when his eyes land on the small young humans, and so does his smile and his tone of voice.

Colton is just a sight to see. And a great helper too.

The reason behind that is that you’re a kindergarten teacher. You, as someone that has always loved the idea of being around kids, are still young and learning in your job on how to be a great teacher and even role model to such young kids.

Right off when you started your career, before meeting Colton, you wanted kids to have the best of experiences in your classroom. You wanted to be the coolest teacher, all because you also had that when you were younger. And that came with a lot of fun activities throughout the week and a lot of decorating to do in your classroom. 

Is it tiring? Yes. But is it worth it when the kids run in every morning all excited to see you? Oh, absolutely.

Close to any festive date, you remodel your classroom with the help of your coworkers - and Colton, when he’s free - and always do a list of all the activities you want to do during the week.

Imagination is key in this job.

You met Colton a year into your job. It was a random date you had set yourself in by a dating app - something your friends had forced you to try and see what would happen.

On that date, the first minutes were a bit awkward, you felt nervous and Colton felt all anxious. You were scared that it would all just be a recipe for disaster. 

For an example, the thoughts that ran through your mind were all about: what if one of you just said something completely random or talked too much? 

Ugh, it was stressful, to say the least.

But that was until you said what you do for a living. Oh, the heart eyes he gave you.

“So, you like kids?” He had asked you.

“Of course! Ever since I was teenager and babysat my neighbor’s kid.”

You won your way to his heart right away. He made you all sorts of questions about your job and just smiled all the time you would mention your favorite moments with the kids. 

And when you asked about him, and he told all sorts of opportunities he has had with his job to hang out with kids. And you felt like you melted into a puddle. 

He would mention how many times he has infiltrated himself onto small kids’ skating-classes at the Enterprise center and how they would always let him help out. Kids are, honestly, who rule the soft spot on his heart.

All the stories the two of you had, were just what saved that date. It was what made you talk for hours and hours about one another and make you notice how much more you have in common, other than liking kids.

Both of your friend groups would just think that their ears would fall off if they heard you talk about one another one more time, during the following weeks.

Three dates in and you’re dating. Living your absolute best life.

And two years later, which is now, you’re still dating Colton. You, now, go and see him in every home game and he picks you up from work every time he’s free. He also helps you with buying stuff for your classroom - when it needs redecoration, or when you need help with getting stuff ready on big days.

“Can you pass me the scissors, babe?” Colton asks you as he stares intensely at the piece of paper.

You pass him the scissors quickly and he whispers at you a little ‘thank you’.

You’re both sitting in one of the small tables of your classroom while cutting up some drawn and painted balloons. 

Today marks a week away from your class’s last kindergarten day, so you’re getting everything ready for it to the best last few days with them.

Most of the classroom, if not the school, is decorated. You, honestly, just need to add the little details you weren’t able to finish on Friday’s afternoon, and Colton, which had a day off, decided to come in with you super early to help.

You look over at the clock on the wall and you almost let out a gasp. The first kids, the ones that always appear before time for class, are almost here.

Quickly you stand on your feet and go get the other things ready while Colton continues to cut up balloons or drawing cute faces on them.

You open the bags of candy and start putting two down by the desk of each kid, probably looking like a maniac at how quick you’re moving around. 

You dunk the rest in the bowl by your desk, and you hear, very faintly, a little giggle at the end of the hall.

Oh, here they come.

You grab onto your sheets of paper and look over your shoulder at the door of your classroom, seeing it open very slowly. A small head of dark curls appears and a group of gasps escapes the children at the door.

“Good morning, Miss Y/N!” The girl that peeked in first says with her big smile.

“Good morning!” You say back with a smile.

Colton lifts his gaze from his little balloon and he sees the small kids, all staring up at you by the door. He smiles as you let them in the class and all their eyes land on him as he comes into view.

“This is Colton, he’s just helping me out, today.” You explained to them.

Some of the shyer kids hesitated a bit when walking in the colorful room, but the extroverts just sprinted to him with their toothless smiles.

“Hi!” They all screamed at him at different timings. “I’m Jacob!” One of them screams while everyone else also begins their introductions.

Colton smiles at them and soon a wave of questions hits him.

Children, when not scared, are one of the most curious beings in the world, so they will ask anyone about anything. And that comes with a large lack of filter too. But that is not something anyone that has come close to a child doesn’t know.

Colton, to your surprise, was able to answer every single one of them without ignoring any kids. Something you, their teacher, still have some difficulty doing, today.

While most of the kids are distracted with him, you go and drift your attention towards the shyest ones. You walk over to the door and go help the ones who are hesitating to walk in, holding up your hand at them before crouching down to their level to say a little ‘good morning’.

In a matter of very few minutes, you’re able to warm them up with the idea of walking in - which, indeed, has a lot to do with the candies that are resting on their desks. 

When the small group of kids clears out your door, you notice a special girl you’ve grown to love ever since you started working here.

Her name is Addison and she is the purest, yet the shyest kid you’ve ever come to meet. She’s timid to the point of preferring to be alone all day, even in the park in recess. She has had to change classes a bunch of times due to that lack of talking and not making friends, yet she landed on yours a year ago.

Throughout this year, you have been trying your best at winning her trust. She’s a very scared little being and you can’t just leave her in the corner, especially when most of the stuff you do in class is for everyone to be involved and have a great time as a group.

There have been good days and bad days, yet her good days are able to make your heart melt. Those are the days where she’s able to do more than half of the stuff you offer her to do and with a smile. The most precious smile in the world.

“Good morning, princess Addison.” You tell her as she stands behind the doorway. “I love your dress, today!”

A small little curve appears over her lips and she starts taking small steps towards you. You smile brightly at her, still crouched to be at eye level, and she quickly is standing in front of you.

“Mommy did my hair today.” She whispers at you.

You let out an enthusiastic gasp and she smiles at you.

“Oh, well, let me see the masterpiece.”

She turns around to do a little twirl and you look to see her coily hair separated in two perfect buns, which are held by two glittery light blue elastics - Addison’s favorite color.

“Wow!” You tell her and she turns back to you.

She is smiling so brightly that you swear you’re already a puddle. She’s just this adorable human being. 

If there’s any kid that will make you emotional when leaving on the last day, it will be her. No offense to anyone else, she’s just the princess of the classroom.

Colton, who is still sitting at the table, has found himself done with all the cutting and coloring, but also with two young boys climbing his back to dangle over his shoulders.

You weren’t kidding when you said that the kids are always in a good mood right in the morning.

He laughs at something one of the boys says and he looks over to check on you. You’re talking to a little girl in a blue dress and your smile is just as wide as it can be, as well as your eyes, which just twinkle with love.

When you finally stand back on your feet and extend your hand over to the little girl, Colton notices how her expression changes. Her small eyes study the room anxiously as she walks with you, and when they land on him, even worse.

Stranger danger, Colton, come on! Of course, the kids won’t like you right off the bat.

Before Colton could stand up or say anything to announce how he’s already done with his task at you, a little voice stops him.

“Mister Colton?” A little boy says while waving his arm around, “Are you and Miss Y/N dating?”

(...)

Half an hour later and your classroom is almost full, as hell as it’s almost time for class to begin and Colton’s time to leave. You stand back to look at what you just put on the wall, just to make sure it’s centered. 

Yeah, looks good.

The usual giggles, ones you’ve grown quite accustomed to, are louder, yet only now you’re looking back to see what’s happening.

Colton is still sitting with the kids, he has two boys laying over his shoulders, which look like they’re about to do a handstand, and he’s talking to a whole other group that is sitting on the floor in front of him.

You walk over to your desk to check something on your computer before you announce the time to everyone - and end up breaking everyone’s hearts. And as soon as you take a seat on your chair, you notice that Addison has gotten up from her seat.

One of her little drawings is still sitting on her desk, but you can’t stop yourself from looking for her in the big group of children around your boyfriend. And that’s when you see her, walking towards him with a paper in her hands.

Colton continues to talk to the kids, but that’s when he notices a small figure appear beside him. He looks over and the girl from before - Addison, you already told him the name of everyone in the room - is standing right beside him.

He gives her a smile, which she gives back, just a little shyer.

A sudden weight is lifted off his shoulders - quite literally, because one of the boys became tired of hanging on his shoulder, but also because she had just smiled at him. 

So, he decides to try his best.

“What do you have there?” He asks Addison, pointing his finger at the paper on her hand, honestly, just trying to make conversation.

Why does he feel nervous?

He notices her lips moving, but he can’t hear what she said. So he leans in, turning his head to the side, so she can repeat right over his ear.

“A drawing.” She tells him, again, in a whisper.

Colton snaps his head back to her and smiles widely in excitement.

“Really?”

She nods.

“Can I see it?”

Her lips move again and Colton leans in again so she can talk on his ear.

“It’s for you.”

“For me?” Colton asks extremely excited and looks over at her.

Addison nods with a little shy smile and a little giggle escapes her mouth as he looks at her with an open mouth in shock. She, slowly, raises her hand with the paper on it and Colton, just as slowly, takes it.

(Kind of looks like this - but make it hockey)

As his eyes land on the paper, he feels his heart burst at how adorable it is. He can tell that it’s a bunch of hockey players, all of them with blue jerseys and with hockey sticks on their hands.

“Oh my god!” He whisper-yells, making the girl look at him a little worried, “It’s amazing!”

Another giggle escapes her mouth and Colton, probably getting too confident, extends his (now) free arms to ask for a hug. She looks at him a little hesitatingly, yet before he could even think twice about what he just requested, she throws herself into his arms.

Colton, like with any other kid from class that requested a hug, wraps his arms around her and pulls her into the hug. Her giggles fill the room and you smile at the sight.

It’s impressive, to say the least. It took you so long to get that little girl’s trust and with one simple morning, Colton, not only got a drawing but a hug?!

Sounds unfair to you. Even though extremely adorable.

“So, you’re a blues fan?” You hear him ask her, making you let out a laugh.

If she isn’t, he sure is going to convert her into being one.

She nods her head and decides to do the same thing as another kid is doing beside Colton - sitting over his leg. Colton, now with one kid on each leg, and still one over his shoulder, looks over at you.

His smile is just the brightest ever. He’s having the time of his life.

He looks back at Addison and shows the drawing she just did to her.

“Am I in this?” He asks her and she nods.

Her little finger points at one of the figures with blue jerseys and the only difference between him and the other guys is that he’s holding hands with someone. He eyes the other person with care, and just by the clothes that they’re wearing and from the hair.

It’s you. Holding his hand while he holds a stick with his opposite hand.

He unconsciously pouts at how cute it all is and fights his urges to stand and run to you, just to show you the amazing drawing.

You must have read his mind, because right as he thought that, you appeared beside him, also taking a seat over the carpet with everyone. It didn’t take long for some of your students to move over and sit close to you.

Colton hands you the drawing, which you carefully grab it, and he points at the pair of people in the middle of it. You smile brightly and Addison gives the two of you her biggest smile of the day.

She was proud of her drawing, but, now, more than ever.

“Ms. Y/N, can Colton stay for the rest of the day?” Someone asks in the crowd of children.

Colton laughs beside you and you smile at the boy who asked it. Before you could even open your mouth to answer him, Colton does it.

“No, but I can come back tomorrow (?)” He says, almost as if it’s a question.

He’s looking at you, and that’s when you understand that he’s asking you for permission. And as soon as the kids also notice that, a wave of screams hits your ears.

“Please!” and “Let him!” are screamed at you and you smile.

“Yeah, of course.” You tell him and he smiles.

The kids celebrate, some by jumping around, others throwing their fists in the air while screaming victoriously, and others - like Addison - just smile at the both of you.

Ugh, things can’t get better than this.

Hope you liked this! Sorry it took me a little long to post it, but I was a little stuck on one part. Really hope it was worth the wait.

[thebluenoteblog]

Send me a Sign

Summary: Every time Colton comes into the coffee shop you work in, he has something to look forward to.

Player: Colton Parayko

Word Count: 1000

Authors note: This is inspired by a prompt I saw today (creativepromptsforwriting) and instantly laughed at for like five minutes. I think It’s funny, but who knows if it actually is. You can decide that.

Colton was all about supporting small businesses, and that was how he found himself in a little family owned coffee shop on Main Street one cold October morning. The bell above the door twinkled when he opened it. You were the first thing he noticed when he crossed the threshold into the small lobby full of people. Standing behind the counter looking exhausted and a little frazzled. You were beautiful, even in the store uniform with a dirty apron tied around your waist and messy hair.

He joined the line, eyes focused on you as you rang up order after order until finally it was his turn. When he stepped up to the counter, you froze for half a second, taking him in. He was tall, handsome with a kind face. He smiled at you as he placed his order and you barely registered what you were ringing up. The shop had mostly cleared out, so you turned to make his drink. 

A few minutes later Colton was walking out of the shop with his coffee in hand. It wasn’t until he got to his car that he looked at the name written on the side. Collten. Not the correct spelling, but surely a correct one. He’d met guys with his name spelled that way before.

It was a week before he made it back to the little shop and by some miracle you were working again. The same worn uniform, the same dirty apron, the same frazzled movements as you struggled to take orders and make drinks for all the people who frequented the shop. 

When your eyes landed on him, he swore that he saw something break through the haze of exhaustion. Again, you took his order. Again, you made his drink and again, he didn’t look at the name written on the side of his cup until he made it to his car. When he did, he snorted. He had been expecting another Collten. However, written on the side of the cup in neat black lettering was Colltinn.

He was so amused by the spelling of his name on the last cup that he made his way back to the shop again the next day, hoping that you were there again. The bell chimed as he crossed the threshold and he was surprised to see you again. This time your hair was styled differently and you were wearing makeup. Not a lot of it, but enough that you noticed. This time, he was determined to know something about you, so after he ordered, as you made his drink he asked, “Is it always this busy?”

You nodded, “We have the best coffee in town. We’re always packed. I thank god every day that we don’t have a drive thru.”

He was about to respond, but you set his drink down on the counter and turned to take the order of a balding middle aged man wearing a uniquely patterned tie. Colton picked up his cup and made his way out of the packed lobby and onto the street. 

He didn’t make it to his car before he checked the name, he was too curious. He stopped under the orange awning and spun his cup around.

Colltyynn. He turned to look through the window, to see if you were watching him, or maybe just to get one more look at you. Instead he was face to face with the balding man in the ugly tie. The man grumbled something under his breath as he walked around Colton and by the time he could see through the window, the crowd was too big to see the counter.

The next two times he came to the shop, you weren’t there. He was beginning to worry that you had quit before he could get your phone number or even your name. Then one rainy afternoon, he was struck with the idea of coffee and he couldn’t stop himself from stopping in on the way to the rink. It was a random time of day that not many people were out looking for coffee, and when he walked through the door, bell chiming, he spotted you standing behind the counter wiping down an espresso machine. 

You turned when you heard the bell and dropped the rag into a tub under the counter. “Back again?” You asked.

Colton nodded, “You weren’t here the last two times. I was starting to worry that I might not get the chance to see how many ways you can incorrectly spell my name.”

You smiled, head tilted, hand on your hip. “The opportunities are endless.” You took a step closer, leaning against the counter. “I was on vacation.”

“Where did you go?” He asked.

“No where,” you said. “Just caught up on school work.”

“What are you studying?” He found himself asking, as he leaned against the counter, matching your stance.

“You’re just full of questions, aren’t you?” You asked him and he found himself flushing. 

Before he could respond the bell above the door rang again and a group of teenagers walked in. The smile dropped off your face for half a second, then it was back and you were turning to the register, “So what can I make for you?”

It wasn’t until he was outside that he looked down at his cup. In the same neat black scrawl, Colltyyinn.

Underneath that, a phone number.

[drabblemesilly]

Colton Parayko #6

Requested by Anon:  Could you write one with Colton Parayko about a death in the family and he’s there by your side when the reader finds out? Thank you!

*I couldn’t bear killing a family member because that’s just so sad so I did it this way. I hope you still like it though. Enjoy! :)*

Word count: 822

One look at Colton and you knew. Heck, you knew before he even opened the bedroom door. You knew even before he stepped inside your room, one hand clutching his phone, lips pursed, eyes unsure. You felt it, deep inside, you felt a part of you leave.

Lifting your head a little, you just had to ask, “the vet called?”

He nodded, slowly walking towards you. Colton sat on the edge of the bed, resting his hand on your throw-covered leg.

“They put her down without calling us?” you sniffed, still not believing that your dog is gone now. Fuck, she was not just a dog. She was your best friend growing up. Twelve years and she’s just… gone. No ceremony or art to it. One day she’s there, jumping on your lap, and the next she’s just not there anymore.

Colton looked glum, “she didn’t wake up, babe,” he reached out to wipe a tear from your cheek, “she was too weak.”

You didn’t know what to say to that so you just lay there, tears slowly dripping on the pillow, Colton stroking your hair. You’re waiting for the screams of disbelief and the angry sobs but you don’t have the energy to do any of that right now. Everything feels so surreal, like you’re in a dream waiting to wake up.

“Do you want some tea? Let me get you some tea,” Colton offered.

If you weren’t crippled by sadness, you would have laughed at the frantic look he’s wearing.

Alas, all you can manage is a weak smile, “no, thank you,” you breathed, “can you stay here with me?”

“I’d love that,” he whispered, moving to the floor.

Colton shifted a little until he was leaning against the bed, his chin resting on your pillow, one hand stroking your hair, “do you want me to fix you a bath?”

You shook your head, still silently crying, “are you sure the vets didn’t make a mistake?”

“I’m sure,” he whispered, hand still massaging your head, keeping you calm, “I’m really sorry.”

“I just don’t like her thinking that I wasn’t there for her,” you cried a little harder. That’s the worst part, eh? Dying alone.

“I’m sure she knows you loved her the most,” he smiled, “you always gave her the last piece of pizza,” he joked.

You snorted, snot probably flying all over the place, “she loved it.”

Colton agreed, “she did.”

Not knowing what to add to that, you just let the silence envelop the both of you. The apartment seems a little more empty now that you know she’s never coming back. Weird thinking you won’t be able to hear her hangnail click clacking over the wooden tiled floor. You’re gonna miss the scratches on the door that she makes every time she wants to go for a walk.

“Gosh, we probably have to contact the cremation people, do we?”

When she started getting weaker, you knew this day would come. You talked about getting her cremated and even went on to call some of the services around the St. Louis area. You’re nothing if not proactive. It’s just that, this took you by surprise, is all. It’s seven in the morning. This was not supposed to happen today, especially not this early. You were even supposed to visit her at the vet later this afternoon.

Colton squinted, “we don’t have to do that right away,” he massaged your nape, “but we do have to go to the vet soon.”

That made you tear up a little more, “I don’t want to see her just lying there, lifeless.”

“I’ll be there, okay?” he reminded, “I’ll be with you the whole time,” he gave you that sad smile again, “we gotta say goodbye, somehow.”

“She was my best friend.”

“I know.”

“She never left me,” you cried, “never.”

“I know.”

“Even when I was on my goth, I-hate-the-world phase.”

He chuckled at that, “I know.”

“What am I supposed to do now?” you asked your boyfriend, feeling a little more lost now than a couple of minutes ago.

He shrugged, “we’ll figure it out,” he started, leaning over to kiss the tip of your nose, “together.”

Colton straightened before pulling you up. He crawled onto the bed until he was sitting and you’re sitting on his lap, your back against his chest, his chin on your shoulder.

“She hated seeing you cry,” he reminded you, wiping the tears from your cheeks, “remember when you cried because of that tv show and she thought I was the one who made you sad?”

You laughed, “she almost bit you.”

He nodded, “she almost bit me.”

“She loved you, though,” you said wistfully. Sometimes, you forget that she’s even your dog in the first place, with how she cuddled with Colton on the bed.

“She did,” he agreed, kissing the side of your neck, “but she loved you most of all.”

[bqstqnbruin]

It Would Be You

Writing this literally killed me because I am a bitter Bruins fan. Please don’t make me write for the b**es ever again I’m begging.

But this was requested and I haven’t said in the past that I wouldn’t write for them so I did it out of love for the anon.

Here it is! I hope you like it because this took ever fiber of my being to not scream writing this (I know I’m dramatic and petty I’m not sorry)

Here’s the original request! 

__________________________

It wasn’t often that you got to see Brayden or Luke play, but considering you lived in St. Louis, it was definitely weird that you didn’t go more. Well, maybe not weird; you were a law student at Washington University, so having free time was not something you were used to. Brayden had begged you to come to this game and take a break. How could you say no to your older brother?

Well, it wasn’t just him who had wanted you to come, you have to admit. During your brother’s time in Saint Louis, you had gotten close with Colton Parayko. You never told him this, but you had a crush on him from the moment you say him. You were at a bar with your brother after one of their games two seasons ago. Brayden introduced you to Colton, and the two of you hit it off. But you didn’t think he felt the same. After all, yours was just a silly crush. 

Brayden had you meet him at his place before the game. “So, have you talked to Colton?” he brings up, trying to find his keys so he can run out the door. The game was in a few hours, but he had to get there early for warm-ups. He got permission to bring you along before you had to go find your seat. “He’s been talking about you coming to this game non-stop since I told him you agreed to come.”

“Really?” You weren’t actually listening to anything Brayden was saying before that, but you tuned in once you heard him mention Colton. He had been talking about you? He never seemed flirty, but maybe he felt something, too? No, you convince yourself, he would never.

“Yeah. He’s clearly into you.” Brayden says like it was obvious. 

“No way.” 

“Y/N, he doesn’t shut up about you. And he does it in front of me. What other reason would he have to keep talking about you?” 

“I don’t know, I’m pretty great.” You joke, trying to not show him that you were starting to freak out. There was no way Colton would like you, too. And even if he did, you Brayden let one of his teammates date his younger sister?

“We both know that I’m the better Schenn.” he laughs, opening the door as a gesture for you to go down to his car. 

“Can I say you’re a better Schenn compared to Luke?” you say, taking a dig at your oldest brother.

“Oh, c’mon. That’s not hard.” 

You had mostly been sitting off to the side outside one of the locker rooms while Brayden and the boys got ready. They even invited you to play a game of two-touch with them. 

“That is the exact opposite of what you want.” you argue, as Colton and Brayden practically push you into the circle. “I’m wearing jeans and Toms this is not fair!” The two of them just laugh as Colton headbutts the soccer ball right to you. It hits you square in the chest before touching the floor, the wind practically knocked out of you in the meantime.

“Y/N!” Colton comes running to your side to make sure you’re alright.

“I’m fine.” you snap. “I told you don’t make me play,” you whine, smacking his arm. Something about him still makes a smile grow on your face, mirroring the one on his, a chorus of ooos coming from his teammates. 

“Hey, I think you need to get to your seat, we need to go get ready.” Brayden says, sandwiching himself between the two of you. 

You just nod, snapping out of whatever moment the two of you just had. As you’re being let away by one of the staff, you swear you can hear Brayden and Colton talking.

“That’s my sister, dude.”

“I’m aware. Would it be ok?” 

Brayden sighs, following up with, “If it were to be anyone, it would be you.”

He’s not talking about asking you out or something, is he? He couldn’t be. But then again, why would he need to ask Brayden for permission?

Your mind starts racing back to early when Brayden first pointed it out that he was into you. You wrack your memory for any clues: the first time you met, he wouldn’t leave your side, trying to get every piece of information about you that he could without seeming creepy; before starting law school, you could call him anytime you needed help with something and he would answer if he wasn’t at a game or practice and he would get back to you as soon as he could if he was busy; for the last few exams, he came over and brought you dinner because he knew that you forget to eat when you get to into your work. 

“Hey, I’m Jack,” the man sitting next to you says. You had found your seats near the glass. The team was notorious for sitting family and friends close to the glass so the players would be able to skate up and see you during warm-ups and such. “I’m assuming you’re related to someone on the team, too?”

“I’m Y/N. Schenn is my older brother. And you?”

“Doug Armstrong is my uncle.” 

“Your uncle is the reason I’m here in the first place. He made the trade that brought my brother here from Philly.” you point out. You remember that day; you were out to dinner as a family for one of the first times since your brothers started playing in the NHL. It was the day of the draft and Brayden got the call during dinner that he had to pack up his place in Philly and move to St. Louis. 

“He’s done a lot of stuff,” Jack laughs, leaning back against his seat, stretching his arm up so that just enough of his mid-drift was exposed for you to see a V-line. Your eyes quickly shift from that to the ice, where your brother and Colton are skating up to where you’re sitting. You wave at both of them, praying that the red on your cheeks from blush at the sight of this guy’s abs isn’t as noticeable as it feels. 

The game starts without you so much as noticing because you were having such a weird conversation with Jack. Not that the topic was weird; you were literally just telling each other about yourselves. It was weird because of how it felt. He was very cleary flirting with you, but you weren’t even trying to flirt back. You weren’t even sure if you were flirting back or not. Every time Colton took the ice, your eyes were glued to him. The conversation was pretty much lost when you watched him skate. 

Towards the end of the third period, Jack finally asked, “Is he your boyfriend?”

You tore yourself away from Colton for a second, “Huh? Who?”

“Number 55, Parayko.”

“Oh. No. He’s not my boyfriend.”

“But you wish he were?”

“What?”

“We’ve been having a pretty one-sided conversation every time he sets foot on the ice. It’s clear you’re at least into him.” he says, a soft smile on his face. At least he wasn’t one of those guys who got mad at you for something like this.

You take in a deep breath and sigh, closing your eyes to just let the sound of the game surround you for a second, “I definitely like him. But he wouldn’t like me. Not with my brother being his teammate.”

“Every time he comes back to the bench, he can’t take his eyes off of you. If it were to ask out anyone, it would be you.”

“But my brother-”

He cuts you off, “Love makes you do weird shit. People fall in love, stay in love, and let that decide everything. Do that for yourself. It was nice meeting you, Y/N.” Jack says, standing up. You didn’t even realize the game had ended, the arena clearing out and leaving you surrounded by a sea of blue plastic chairs.

You get up to go find your brother outside the locker room. Waiting, you can’t help but wonder if Jack is right, if Brayden is right: you and Colton have feelings for each other. You knew how you felt.

“Hey, Y/N, can I ask you something before Brayden comes out?” You snap out of the trance you were in to see Colton standing in front of you, still in his gear, hair dripping with sweat. He was disgusting, but your heart was racing with him standing in front of him.

“Of course.” 

“I might just be reading too much into things, but that guy you were sitting with was pretty into, huh?” He says, quietly, trying to play it off like he’s teasing you. 

“Uh, I think so? I don’t know. We got to talking about other things.”

“Other things?”

“Other things being..” you pause, debating whether or not you should tell him the truth. “Being you.” 

His eyes light up like this could be the best news he’s ever heard. “Me?”

“It would be you,” you say again, starting to laugh. “Is that really what you wanted to ask me?” 

“Well, actually, I wanted to ask you what you were doing after this?”

“You mean now?” you tease him, knowing that the more dumb questions you ask him, the more flustered he’s going to get.

“I mean I guess. Where are you going when you leave here?” The smile grows on his face.

“I guess I’m going home with Brayden and then to my place?” 

“How about I take you out instead?” 

“On a date?”

“Well, yeah. I’ve sort of liked you for way too long,” he says, running his hands through his still gross hair. “But seeing you with that guy kind of set something off in me that I just had to tell you.” 

“That sounds like you,” you say, smiling, “Of course I’ll go out with you, but not until you go get way less gross than you are now.” You push him away and towards the locker room so he can go clean himself up. 

“Can’t wait.”

[temibreadmanpanarin]

Sleep Well?-Colton Parayko

Requested:Nope

Warnings:Smut after the cut, (light)choking, wet dream, and just smut lol

Up Next:Josh Anderson one shot

Word Count:1.5k

This is my first time writing smut! Please be kind about it! It’s not edited and it is the longest thing I have ever written. I don’t know how I feel about the end but I hope y’all enjoy it! Requests are open!

Colton and I are on vacation after a long and disappointing season. We chose to go to the mountains and rent a cabin so we won’t have to deal with anyone or anything other than each other.

After the first two days, he started to think less and less about the playoffs. Which means he got more enjoyable to be around. Now he tries to be with me basically every second of the day and is a complete sweetheart.

Earlier today we went on a hike and then swam, and now we’re sitting down for dinner.

“I really am glad that you talked me into going on this trip. The season has been so stressful and, as much as I hate to say it, I am kind of happy it’s over.” He sets down his fork and looks at me.

“Oh and why is that?” I ask him while raising my eyebrows.

“Because I get to spend more time with you, and visit Laila more often.” He gives me a dopey smile before he continues to eat the fish.

“Geez you really are a big sap.” I tease him despite my cheeks obviously getting redder.

“I’m just as much of a sap as you are. You can’t argue with me there.” He smirks and stand up to grab both of our plates.

“Okay but you are way more of one than I am.” I get up to help him clean the dishes.

“Yeah, sure Y/N. Whatever you say.” He says before laughing at me and walking away. I scoff, put away the last dish, and follow him out of the kitchen and into the living room.

“What do you want to do for the rest of the night?” I ask him while he puts his hand on my thigh. I grab the TV remote put of his other hand and look for a movie to watch.

“I was thinking of just putting on anything random and talking for a while.” He smiles at me and I immediately click on the first movie name I recognized.

“Again you big sap.” He squeezes my thigh and shakes his head. “I’ll stop now. What do you want to talk about then?” I snuggle into his side and rest my head on his chest.

“Literally anything. I just like talking to you, about everything and anything. Say something about me being a sap again and I’ll hit you with a pillow.” He adds the last part when I look up at him and scrunch up my nose teasingly. 

“I wasn’t going to, Colton. I promise. Well guess what I have planned for us tomorrow.” He hums in response. “Of course we are going to sleep in, then I was thinking we could go into town and look around at the sights. Maybe get some lunch or dinner too. And we can just come back after to lay down or go swimming when it’s dark.”

“That sounds great. I am so tired from doing all that we did today, so that will a good thing to just lay low. Plus, you never know how tomorrow night will really go.” He nudges my shoulder when I laugh at him.

 “Yeah, okay big boy. You can hope all you want. But, as comfortable as I am, and as much as I want to keep talking to you, I am exhausted. We did so much today. I really just want to lay down with you and sleep for 28 hours.”

“28 hours, eh?” He mocks while picking me up off of the couch and heading to our room. When we get to the room he sets me down on the bed and takes off his shirt and shorts, leaving on his boxers. I take off my shirt and pants before putting on his shirt and laying back down. He lays on his side and pulls my body flush to his, so that my back is pressed against his chest and his arms are around me.

“Night, Colton. Love you.” I smile and kiss his arm. He mumbles back his reply into my hair, and we both drift to sleep.

 Before long I get woken up by him shifting around behind me. I can’t move to look at him since his arms are still tightly wound around my body, but I feel his entire body moving around. I reach up to rub the sleep out of my eyes and try to think about why he’s moving so much. It takes me a few more minutes to realize that he not moving around for a bad reason. He isn’t having a nightmare. And he sure isn’t uncomfortable. He is actually hard against me. I am still half awake, so I don’t know what to do, and just freeze. 

He stops moving for a moment and I let out a breath. I move my hip back slightly to test how he would react. Colton lets out a low groan and his hips buck against me again. Beginning to enjoy how he’s acting, I swivel my hips again and put back more pressure. He grunts out my name this time and grips my sides harder. I shamelessly, slowly, push back against him until he wakes up.

I can tell that he woke up because his hands slide down from my ribs to my hips, where he hold onto me tightly and tries to control my movement. He starts to hold me still while he thrusts against me through his boxers.

It’s not enough friction for me, so I try to push against his hands and meet his thrusts. That doesn’t work, because he grips me even tighter to the point where I know I’ll have bruises in the morning. I lightly kiss any part of his body that I can reach, which happens to be his arms. The kisses causes him to thrust a little more harshly against me, and moan quietly.

“Colton.” I murmur and he lets go of my hips long enough to roll me onto my back and get on top of me. He presses his lips to mine and nips at my lower lip. When he pulls away I am gasping for air and reaching up to grab onto his hair.

“Had the best dream. Couldn’t help myself.” He says against the skin of my neck between kisses. Just as I am about to respond be begins to grind against me again and nip at the skin he was kissing. I moan into his ear, which encourages him to run his hands up under my shirt and push the fabric as high as he can.

“I need more Colton.” I gasp out when his hand goes up to my chest. He moves his hand down to slide my underwear down my legs, and throw them across the room. Then he reaches to pull of his own boxers before grasping and stroking himself a few times.

“Are you good?” He asks me, trying to stay the sweetest person ever. I nod and he lines himself up with my core. He slowly slides into me until he bottoms out. 

He doesn’t move for a moment to let me adjust. Once I give him the go ahead to continue, he pulls nearly all the way out and thrust back in. Colton does this slowly for a few moments until I wrap my legs around his waist and use my heels to try and push him faster. His head falls down right beside mine, and I can hear his heavy breathing while he starts thrusting harder and faster.

There is a distinct sound of skin on skin throughout the entire room, and it’s at this moment that I am thankful we didn’t just get a hotel room. His hand that isn’t being used to prop himself up slides up my body to wrap around my throat lightly, squeezing the perfect amount. 

I can tell that he is getting close because his eyes start to shut, his mouth hangs open, and his moans become louder. 

“Y/N, please tell me your close.” He opens his eyes to look into mine while speaking. I open my mouth to speak, but all that comes out is a high pitched wine that makes his eyes close tightly again.

“I am.” I manage to say two words before he gives me one particularly hard thrust that makes my head spin and pushes me over the edge. My mouth opens and a moan of his name escapes my lips. I squeeze down on him, and that is his tipping point. He, in return, moans my name out as well. We stay like that, heavy breathing and sweaty for a few minutes until he slides out of me.

When he does leave me I whimper his name and open my eyes to see him make his way to the bathroom. He emerges a few seconds later with a wet washcloth and proceeds to wipe me off. He disappears again but returns soon to lay back down in bed.

“Care to tell me what happened in that dream?” I tease him.

“How about I just show you tomorrow when we go swimming.” He pulls me back against his chest while I laugh at his words, knowing he will go through with his words. 

I fall back asleep, thinking about how much I am looking forward to the next day. 

[yourfavewriteress]

hi! hope you’re having a great day :)

just read through right under our noses and i’m HOOKED! will you be continuing the series?

thanks for sharing your talent with all of us <3

it's coming, I PROMISE!!! i see the love for it, and won't leave you all hanging for much longer! <3

[running-on-fanfiction]

“We’re in Mykonos and out of all the beautiful views on this island, you’re staring at me...why?” blurb with Colton Parayko pls

“What are you doing?” You giggled.

“Looking at my beautiful girlfriend.” Colton smiled, before taking a bite of his food.

“I see that, but you’ve been doing that a lot this trip. We’re in Mykonos and out of all the beautiful views on this island, You’re staring at me...Why?” 

“Because, to me you’re more beautiful.” He grinned. You watched him dig his hand in his pocket. “That and I have something to ask you.” He smiled as he placed the ring on the table. 

“Yes.” You cried before hopping out of you seat and into Colton’s arms. 

-Julianne

[blueskrugs]

For the celly blurbs:

number 7 with Colton please. the scar above his eyebrow has kinda faded but the one on his lip gets me every time

lip scar my beloved

7. kissing scars

length: 394 words

You’d missed the game when it had happened. You came home to find Colton poking gently at the stitches in his top lip with his tongue in the bathroom mirror.

“Oh my god, what happened?” you demanded. You slid between Colton and the vanity, blocking Colton’s view of the mirror.

He tried to dodge you. “It’s fine, I’m fine,” he told you. You grabbed ahold of his chin so you could get a closer look. Colton sighed. “I promise,” he added. “Didn’t even lose any teeth.”

“This time,” you murmured.

“We weren’t even dating then,” Colton argued. His words were coming out a little wrong, like he wasn’t used to talking around the stitches.

“Does it hurt?” you asked. You couldn’t resist poking the cut a little yourself.

Colton swatted your hand away. “Ow,” he complained. “It hurts when you poke it like that.” He leaned against you, his hips pinning you against the sink. He bent down for a kiss, just a brush of his lips against yours.

“Do you think it’ll scar?” you asked. You didn’t say it, but you almost hoped it would.

Colton peered at himself in the mirror over your shoulder. “Dunno,” he said.

That had been two years ago. Spoiler alert: it had scarred.

You were very fond of that little lip scar.

Colton never called you out on it, but you could tell he was amused by the way you liked to kiss the scar first, before going in for a proper kiss. Or how you “missed” sometimes when Colton went in for a good morning kiss.

“You’re only with me for my scars, huh?” Colton mused one day. He was teasing, a small smile on his face.

You ran your thumb along the little white line of the scar. “I mean, duh,” you said. Colton’s grin grew. “You have no other redeeming qualities, whatsoever,” you went on.

Colton pulled you in for a quick kiss, but you deepened it. You couldn’t really feel the scar when Colton kissed you, but you liked to imagine you could when you ran your tongue along Colton’s top lip, anyway. Colton pulled away, ignoring your pout.

“So, next time someone asks me what the secret to a long relationship is, I’ll just tell them to get a scar their partner finds hot, yeah?”

“Exactly,” you told Colton with a laugh.

[hookingminor]

begin again (taylor’s version) - colton parayko

and you throw your head back laughing like a little kid I think it's strange that you think I'm funny, 'cause he never did

warnings: mentions of toxic past relationship

For the first time in nearly eight months, you were going on a date. It took a lot of pushing from your friends and a lot of therapy sessions, but you were finally ready to put yourself back out there again. 

The last guy you were with had done quite a number on you to say the least.

This date was supposed to be an easy one; just one to dip your toes back in the water. He was apparently a friend of a friend and an incredibly kind and personable guy if your friend was to be believed. You didn’t know anything else about him other than his name was Colton and that he was very tall and large and blonde, and your friend only told you that information so you could pick him out when you got to the cafe. If she showed you a picture or told you anything else, she knew you would’ve found a million reasons to not go through with it.

Readjusting your hat, you took one last deep breath outside the small coffee shop, preparing yourself for the date you knew awaited you just inside. You were ten minutes early and figured you would have some time to settle down, but you were surprised to find a blonde man waving you over a few seconds after you crossed through the front entrance.

You gave him a timid smile and walked to where he was seated, and he quickly stood and pulled out the chair opposite of his for you to sit.

“Thank you,” you said, slipping off your coat and hat after taking a seat. “I’m guessing you’re Colton?”

“That would be correct, yes.” He flashed you a devastating smile. “Nicole told me you didn’t know what I looked like, so I thought I’d get here early for you.”

“Oh, well. Thank you.”

“What would you like to drink?” He asked after a moment.

“A latte would be great, thank you,” you replied. He gave you a curious look, probably picking up on the fact that you’d thanked him three times in the last minute, but he said nothing more as he excused himself to order.

Your ex used to criticize your coffee orders. Well, he criticized everything about you, but he always thought it was a waste of money every time you ordered a latte because what was the point in paying six dollars for a coffee that was 75% milk?

Colton returned a few minutes later with two cups in hand, gently placing yours in front of you.

“Thank you again,” you said for good measure. “What did you order?”

“Today’s my cheat day, so I got a caramel turtle mocha,” he answered. That reply had a smile tugging at the corners of your lips. Your ex also hated anything overly sweet, especially sweet coffee.

“So, Nicole didn’t really tell me anything about you,” you started. “What do you do for a living?”

“She didn’t give me many details about you either,” Colton said, “but I play for the St. Louis Blues.”

Your eyebrows rose in shock. “Oh shit. Really? I should’ve pestered Nicole for more information then. I didn’t know she was going to set me up with a celebrity.”

“Please, I’m barely a celebrity,” he scoffed, brushing his athlete status off. “What about you? What do you do?”

You explained your job to him, keeping it as simple and short as possible, not wanting to bore him with the details, but he listened intently and asked you follow up questions, taking you off guard for the second time today.

“And what do you do for fun?” He asked after your respective jobs were all out on the table.

You hesitated for a moment. You couldn’t remember the last time someone showed interest in your hobbies. Your ex would tease you about all the time you spent with your head buried in a book or starting knitting projects you never finished or trying elaborate cooking dishes that never panned out. Everything you did was a waste of time in his eyes. He always thought you should’ve focused your energy into your job and working for promotions instead of being content where you were, but that wasn’t what you wanted.

Six months were spent molding yourself into the ideal partner your ex wanted. You changed your wardrobe to something less eclectic and mellowed yourself down to fit the type he wanted. 

“I like to read,” you said vaguely. “I pick up a lot of different hobbies every now and then. I like to try different things, you know?”

“Have you tried picking up an instrument? Last year I started teaching myself guitar in my free time, but it didn’t go very well so I gave that up and put my energy into origami for a little bit but my hands were too big for the tiny pieces of paper. I did get really good at making paper airplanes, though,” Colton said.

A small part of your hardened exterior cracked a bit at his mini rant, a genuine smiling appearing on your face as he continued on. Well, it was very clear he was nothing like your ex.

“I haven’t gotten around to learning an instrument yet,” you softened, leaning a bit over the table to scoot a little closer. “I learned Mary Had a Little Lamb when I was a kid, so I could probably still do that but that’s it.”

Colton’s eyes lit up when you mentioned the piano, and he admitted to you that he really loved classical piano music and that he listened to it before home games to calm his nerves. You’d never met someone who shared the same appreciation of classical piano music as you, and soon you were talking about your favorite tunes and sharing songs.

The conversation soon shifted to your other interests. You discussed movies and your favorite reality TV shows, he even told you stories about which movies his family watched every Christmas before asking you if you had any family traditions.

Before you knew it, an hour had passed before Colton was checking his watch. Your heart dropped just a tiny bit when you realized the time, and it was a foreign but welcome feeling. You hadn’t had so much fun in a long time, let alone on a date. Your first date since your ex.

Colton’s face also fell when he read his watch, and he sent you a sad smile when he met your gaze. “I really, really hate to do this, but I have to get going,” Colton said. You nodded your head in understanding.

“That’s okay, I have some other errands to run,” you said.

“Did you drive here?” You nodded again. “Let me walk you to your car.”

You hadn’t expected him to offer, but you took him up on it, and the fluttering feeling in your stomach didn’t stop the entire walk back.

“Would you mind if I asked you for your number?” Colton asked when you reached your car.

There were no reservations in your head as you nodded your consent, and he held his phone out for you to take. You entered your information and saved it.

“Do you mind if I call you tomorrow?” His politeness and sweet disposition really was heartwarming. Like, tooth-achingly sweet. It was refreshing.

“Call? Not text?” You asked, and he shook his head.

“Nope. Call.” He was firm in his answer.

“You can call me anytime you want, Colton.”

“I’m going to hold you to that, Y/N.” And with that, he bid you goodbye and turned back down the street you came. 

You unlocked your door and sat down, taking a full three minutes to sit in the driver’s seat with a dopey grin on your face before you started your engine, the warm and fuzzy feeling coursing through your blood following you the entire way home.

Could this be a new beginning?

[senditcolton]

My Love, My Life

summary: a hunch leads you to take one small test; the result of which changes the trajectory of your life. when your boyfriend Colton finds out, it’s up to you two to decide what’s next and how you two are going to navigate the months ahead. 

song word count: 17.9k warnings: pregnancy symptoms, small reference to abortion in the beginning

MARCH

Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

That was the only word your mind seemed to be able to form. You never thought that you could be reduced to repeating one singular word for what seemed like hours. But to be fair, in your craziest dreams, you never expected to find yourself here; sitting on the cold tile floor of your bathroom, back propped against the wall with a timer set on your phone. Waiting for a stupid little test to show you whether or not your whole life would be turned upside down.

‘What the fuck Y/N?’ you thought to yourself, your mind finally piecing itself back together enough to form coherent sentences, although the thoughts still came quicker than you could process.

How much longer? God, sitting on this tile is starting to hurt. What were you thinking? Calm down, you could be overreacting. It could be nothing. You could be sitting here, worrying like crazy, for nothing. But what if it’s not nothing? What if it’s true? What are you going to do then? Fuck, how could you be so stupid?

Your mind continued this rapid-fire questioning until it once again settled on one thought, and one thought only;

Pregnant. You could be pregnant.

That thought first appeared in your mind earlier this morning, when you had to run into the bathroom from your kitchen as quick as you could, before leaning over the toilet and regurgitating your just eaten breakfast. It was when you were resting your forehead against the cold porcelain, did you start to connect the dots.

The first symptom was the fatigue. In the last few days, you had been dead tired. You found yourself drifting off while lying on the couch more often than not, whatever book or movie or show you had in front of you not being enough to capture your attention. You chalked it up to stress from your job, your body’s way of forcing you to take a break.

Then the headaches started. They were mild, nothing too extreme, another side-effect of stress, you thought. But they grew more and more frequent and soon were coupled by some slight cramping. When that happened, you immediately assumed that your period was starting.

But then, the nausea hit. And in your latest bought, the thought finally dawned on you that maybe, just maybe, something else was happening. And it was that thought that sent you running to the nearest drug store and purchasing the first pack of pregnancy tests you saw.

That was how you arrived in your current position. Your fingers worried the hem of the oversized sweatshirt you were wearing, your tailbone growing numb as you waited.

The sharp ring of your alarm startled you out of your reverie. Glancing down at your persistently buzzing phone, the timer flashing across the screen showing a row of zeros. You reach out and click a button, plunging the bathroom back into its eerie silence. You look up from your position on the floor, up towards the sink where that white and blue stick is waiting for you. Part of you didn’t want to get up, to give that test the satisfaction of telling you whether or not the entire plan for your life has gone up in flames. To remain in ignorant bliss.

But you knew that couldn’t happen. And no matter how nervous, scared, terrified, whatever adjective you chose to express your current emotional state, you had to know. You had to. So, after taking a few breaths, you lifted yourself up onto your knees, grabbed the test from its spot on the edge of the sink and brought it towards you. You close your eyes, taking one last deep breath, steeling yourself one more time, before your eyelids fluttered open and you looked down.

And there, on the little digital screen, read one single word:

Pregnant.

You swore you felt your heart drop. Pregnant. You were pregnant. Dozens of thoughts ran through your head but you were too shocked to process a single word, the thoughts coming through like static on an old TV. All you could do was stand there and stare at the white stick in your hands.

Somehow, you’re not entirely sure how, you find yourself curled up on the corner of your couch. It seems as if your body was taking itself through the motions without your brain even registering its movements. Granted, there was only thought that occasionally got through the haze inside your mind. And that wasn’t a thought that you wanted to listen to right now.

So, there you were on your couch, not sure how you got there, not even sure of anything you did between looking at that test and settling down here. And it’s when you are staring at the black TV in front of you do you register how fucking exhausted you were.

Pregnancy symptom.

You want to cry. You want to scream. You were numb. Nervous. Absolutely terrified. Your thoughts were a cloud of questions, all of which you didn’t have a fucking answer to. And the enormity of this uncertainty… it felt like too much. You were completely drained by this muchness that you don’t even realize you’re drifting off to sleep until your eyelids fell and the world went black.

~

Someone is in the apartment.

That is the first coherent thought that rings in your brain. Someone is in the apartment. How you can tell with your eyes still closed is another question. But you’ve always had a sort of sixth sense, being able to feel and read people’s energies. And right now, you can feel the calm, like the calm you feel when you’re sitting on a beach alone just staring at the ocean, hovering above you. And you’re eyes still won’t open. Not until the soft material of a blanket is placed on top of you. That tactile sensation seems to fully awaken you and your eyelids lift to see Colton kneeling down on the floor besides the sofa.

“Hey sweetheart,” he whispers, leaning in to press his lips onto your forehead. He sits back on his heels and looks at you, his blue eyes dancing across your face. You don’t miss the glimmer of concern hiding within them.

“Hi,” you whisper back, your voice soft and hoarse. “What are you doing here?”

“Date night, remember?”

Your eyebrows scrunch as you gently lift your body up, sneaking a quick glance out the window. Outside, you can see the darkened sky painted with streaks of orange clouds.

“What time is it?”

“Close to 6:30.”

“I can’t believe I slept that long,” you mutter underneath your breath. Out of the corner of your eye, you can see Colton’s eyebrows quirk up.

“How long have you been asleep?”

“Doesn’t matter,” you say with a shrug, rubbing your eyes gently. “I’m up now.”

You swing your legs over the side of the couch, gingerly lifting yourself up. Colton is still kneeling on the floor, his eyes never leaving you. That was one thing you learned about Colton in the year you had been dating; he sometimes drowned himself with concern. But as soon as you stood fully upright, you were hit by a wave of dizziness that had you swaying on your feet. Colton reacted immediately, raising himself up and grabbing your arms, steading you. Your own hands come to grip his forearms as you try to rapidly blink the fuzzy haze from your eyes. Your head falls forward to rest against Colton’s chest as you try to take a deep breath.

“Woah, hey, hey.” You hear Colton say, his arm coming to rest on your lower back as he gently guides you back down onto the couch. Your body slumps once he lets go and you find yourself back in your original position, legs curled up and head resting on a pillow.

“Okay, you’re not feeling well. I’m officially cancelling date night.”

“What? No, Colton, I’m fine. I just stood up too quickly or something.”

“Y/N, you almost collapsed. That’s not something that usually happens,” Colton rebuts, shooting you a stern glance. “And from what I can figure out, you slept for an abnormally long time today.”

“It was just a nap,” you mumble into the pillow, turning away from his eyes.

“You don’t take naps.”

Excellent point, you think to yourself, not wanting to admit he was right. You hear Colton sigh and look back to see him lifting himself off the living room floor and covering you with the blanket once again.

“So, I’m going to get you some water, maybe some aspirin, and then you and I are going to curl up on the couch, order food, and watch reruns of Bones, okay?”

“Okay,” you mumble, snuggling deeper into the blankets.

“Have any cravings?”

“Chinese?” you say and you hear Colton laugh at the small plead in your voice.

“Coming right up.” He leans in and kisses your forehead once more. “I’ll be right back.”

With that, Colton turns and you hear his footsteps retreating down the hallway towards your bedroom. A small creak alerts you that the door to your bathroom has been opened. And for some reason, that sends of jolt of adrenaline through you. Your upper body shoots up and you blink to fight the gray pricking the corners of your eyes again. The only thing is, you don’t remember why your body is reacting like that. You feel your heart pounding in your chest as you stare at the empty hallway leading to your bedroom, trying to piece together your thoughts. But no matter how hard you wrack your brain; nothing comes to you. A combination of your nap, your dizzy spell, and the sudden adrenaline spike had left your brain feeling like mush. You start to calm down, rationalizing that your body was still trying to wake you up and get you out the door for date night. And that almost works until Colton walks back into the room.

And he’s staring at his hands.

And in between his giant fingers is a small white test.

Your pregnancy test.

And that is when your whole world stops for the second time that day.

You thought your heart was beating fast before, but it was nothing compared to what it felt like now. Your breath started to come is shallow little pants and all you could do is stare. Stare at your boyfriend who still hasn’t looked at you. It was as if your body was waiting. Waiting for the tension in the room to break. Waiting for that shoe to drop and startle you back to the present moment. Waiting for Colton.

After what seems like a lifetime of agonizing waiting, Colton lifts his head. His blue eyes connect instantly with yours and you can’t even begin to read him. The man whose energy was always so sure and certain felt like a dark storm cloud to you. And you barely heard him when his lips finally moved.

“Babe,” he starts, his voice quiet. “What is this?”

That is when the dam breaks.

You feel the tears before you can even register that they are falling. And you know that words are coming out of your mouth because you can feel your lips moving, feel the thrum of your vocal cords vibrating in your throat but you can’t seem to hear yourself. The static and haze that had been hovering over you since you looked at that test, the test that was now still gripped in Colton’s hands returned with a vengeance and all you could do was let it overtake you. It wasn’t until you found yourself wrapped up in the strong arms of your boyfriend did some of that static dissipate and you heard the words falling from your mouth.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

Colton doesn’t say anything. All he does is hold you and let you cry, the soft wool of his sweater growing wet with your tears. You can feel his muscles stiff beneath your hands and you instinctively know that his own head is swimming with a million questions and a million feelings. But he is still holding you and you can feel his strong and steady heartbeat against your body. His hands find your hair and he gently runs his fingers through the strands, grounding you. You force yourself to match his slow breathing, blinking to rid the remaining tears from your eyes. Taking one last deep breath, you push away from him and feel his hands fall to rest on your arms. Your eyes are still closed, almost as a last-ditch effort to push off the inevitable. But when your eyes finally open, you are immediately faced with Colton looking at you, his eyes a mixture of every emotion you could possibly think of. And quick glance over shows you the pregnancy test, sitting quietly on your coffee table.

You glance back at Colton and find him still staring at you. Or now, staring at your stomach. You take a deep breath and clear your throat, snapping his attention back up to you. Your mouth falls open, an explanation ready to fall from your lips. But as soon as you try to start, you realize that even you don’t know exactly what happened. So, you sit there, gaping like a fish as your eyes jump between Colton and the test still in its spot on the table.

“Um,” you begin, the syllable falling from your lips. You feel more tears start to prick the corner of your eyes and you sniff them back, not wanting to fall apart again.

“Is this real?” you hear Colton ask, a strain in his voice. Your eyes find his again and you can tell he is trying to hold it together. “Are you pregnant?”

You mouth opens once again, ready for the words to fall from your lips but nothing comes. Instead, you nod an affirmative. But as soon as you do, you know he needs more. He deserves more. He deserves to hear it. And perhaps you do too.

“Yes,” you finally manage to squeak out, your voice a quiet whisper. You gently clear your throat, wanting to make this statement strong and clear. And real. “Yes Colton. I’m pregnant.”

A silence stretches out between the two of you, those two words settling themselves in your reality. You can see Colton’s eyes dancing around, his mind probably jumping at the same rate. Without thinking, you place your hands on his thigh, gently pressing your fingers into the strong muscle.

“You can ask me anything,” you say, knowing that you two needed to talk about this. “But I can’t promise you all the answers. I’m still trying to wrap my head around this.”

You see Colton’s shoulders rise with a deep breath as he collects his thoughts. You both knew instinctively that you needed to talk about this. But it was such a big and sudden shift, that it was hard to know where to start. Colton settles and looks back at you, his eyes now just big and questioning.

“Is it mine?” You almost flinch as the words come out of his mouth, a pang nestling itself in your heart. He had every right to ask, you knew that. But it didn’t stop it from hurting.

“Yes. It’s yours.” You hear him sigh and that just seems to twist the knife deeper. Colton looks back up at you and you can see him reading the expression on your face.

“I’m sorry. That question was… uncalled for.”

“It’s okay. I won’t lie, it did hurt but… this is just a fucking weird, monumental thing so…”

“I know but still. I trust you and I know you and I would never think that you would cheat on me. It’s just…” he trails off, his head turning to stare at the pregnancy test. You wait for him to gather his thoughts and simple observe him.

“How long have you known?” he breaks the silence, turning his attention to you once again.

“I’ve only known since this morning. And to be honest, I kind of forgot about it until you came in with the test. I didn’t even realize I left it out. It was just… a lot to take in.” You see his eyebrows raise at your words and he looks between the now darkened hallway, the pregnancy test, and you.

“Were you planning on telling me?”

You sigh, and try to sort through the jumble of thoughts in your head from that morning. Thoughts you didn’t even register until now.

“I don’t know,” you answer truthfully. “I guess I just wasn’t sure about anything once I saw that it was positive. I was thinking ‘how did this happen’, ‘am I going to keep it’, ‘do I even want to keep it’, and just every thought was running through my head. And I didn’t want you to think I was trying to trap you into anything. I mean, I know we’ve talked about a future together and all of that but we’ve only been dating  a little over a year and you guys are getting close to the playoffs and you just got promoted to Captain, like not just Alternate Captain but Captain and I just didn’t want you to think I was forcing you to stay with me or that I was in it for the money or – “

You barely realized you were rambling until Colton stopped you by gently placing his hand underneath your chin and pulling your focus back to him.

“Hey, hey,” he says, quietly shushing you. “I would never think that you would be baby-trapping me or anything like that.”

“Your first question to me was wanting to know if the baby was yours,” you snap and the instant the words were out of your mouth, you regretted them. “I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s okay. But I promise you, that wasn’t the reason I asked it. I think I asked that question because… I just didn’t know how this would happen. I mean, I know we decided a few months ago to occasionally forgo condoms but, we’ve always been so careful. And you’re still on the pill, right?”

“Yeah, I never stopped taking it so, I guess I don’t even know how this happened. I mean, there isn’t really any explanation I can think of, except for immaculate conception but…” you trail off, your eyes widen as your brain pulls a memory from your past.

“What? What is it?” Colton asks, noticing your reaction.

“Colton, do you remember when I had strep?”

“Yeah, it was right before the All-Star break. I only remember that because we were worried that we’d have to cancel our trip. But you got better.”

“Because I was taking antibodies.”

“Yeah but, why is that important?”

“Julianna,” you say, jumping up and pacing around the room.

“Who?” Colton asks, confused and still sitting on the couch, watching you move back and forth in front of the TV.

“My sister’s friend Julianna. She got pregnant with her first son Mattis because she was taking antibiotics,” you start to explain, stopping to look back at Colton. “And those mess with the effectiveness of the pill.” You see Colton’s eyebrows furrow as he takes in the information and then his eyes suddenly widen as the realization hits him.

“And we forgot to pack condoms for our trip.”

You wander back over to the couch and sit, staring at the wall, your entire body thrumming. Colton stays in his spot next to you, your bodies barely touching as you both try to take in this new information. Before you can stop yourself, your head falls into your open palms and you tangle your fingers through your hair.

“God, I’m so stupid.”

“Hey, no you’re not,” Colton says, wrapping his arm around your shoulder.

“Yes, I am Colton. I knew about this; I knew someone who had this happen to them and I still forgot all about it because I just wanted to get better and go on a tropical vacation with you. This is all my fault.”

“This is not your fault. That this with Julianna happened what, 7 years ago? And you’ve had so much in your life happen since then that it’s entirely human that you forgot. It could have happened to anyone,” he gently reassures you as he pulls you closer to him. You sigh and rest your head on his shoulder as you take one deep breath after another.

“Besides,” Colton continues, “I’m the one who wanted to get laid on a tropical island so badly that I forgot to pack the condoms. So, if you’re stupid, I’m sharing at least half of that stupidity with you.”

“Hm, maybe a third,” you hum and feel Colton’s chest slightly rumble with laughter beneath you. And for the first time since you saw that positive pregnancy test, a smile twisted itself onto your face.

“Alright, I’ll take it,” he laughs. You snuggled yourself closer into his body, throwing your legs over his and wrapping your arms around his torso. His arms come to fully wrap around you and the two of you just sit there in silence for a moment, gathering the remaining thoughts floating in your heads and taking everything in. You look up at Colton and see his attention once again locked on the pregnancy test. You glance at it too, the little screen still reading positive, loud and clear.

“So,” you hear Colton start as you focus back on him. “What do you want to do now?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, I mean, you’re pregnant. And it’s completely unexpected and definitely not planned. So, I guess I’m asking you what you want the next step to be.”

You scrunch your eyebrows together as you try to think what you want the next step to be or even what the next step could be. But no matter how hard you try, you can only think of one thing:

“What about you?” you ask Colton.

“I mean, I can tell you what I want. But it doesn’t really matter.”

“Yes, it does, Colton. This baby is yours just as much as it is mine.”

“But this doesn’t affect me as much. You’re the one who is pregnant, it’s your body. And it’s your life.”

“But, it’s your baby too,” you whisper.

“I know. And I’ll be with you every step of the way and I will support you in any decision you make. I just don’t want my opinion to influence your decision.”

“It won’t. You know me. I’m very stubborn that way,” you joke, trying to lighten the mood. And you can see that it slightly works, a smile appearing on Colton’s face. “I still want to know what you want.” You can see Colton let out a deep sigh, his eyes far away.

“I would love for you to keep the baby. I mean, I’ve always wanted to be a dad, always pictured myself having kids. And I feel like I’m at a good place to provide for them and take care of them.” He then turns his eyes back to you and you almost melt at the love you can see pouring out of them. “And, if I’m being completely honest, the past few times I’ve thought about starting a family, I thought about starting one with you.”

You swear your heart starts pounding when those words fall from his lips. He’s seen a future with you, so bright and crystal clear. A smile appears on your face and you can feel tears start to prick at the corner of your eyes for what seems like the hundredth time that day.

“But,” Colton says, shaking you out of your emotions, “I still want the decision to be entirely up to you. And again, you know I will support you and love you no matter what you choose.”

You give him a small nod and your mind starts racing as you try to figure out the first step, your first real decision concerning the little fetus that was currently sitting inside you.

“Let’s start by calling my OBGYN and setting up an appointment. Just to see what exactly is going on and if everything thing is alright. And then we’ll go from there.”

“Sounds perfect to me.”

~

The crinkling of the paper beneath your body is the only thing that fills the room. A small silence has fallen and you take a deep breath, calming your nerves for what seemed like the twentieth time since you walked into your doctor’s office. You had just finish telling her the whole story about your unexpected pregnancy and now all you could do it wait for a response.

“Well, first things first, I don’t want you to worry. What happened to you is more common than you think,” your doctor Stacey explains. “Secondly, you mentioned that you had continued to take your birth control in the month’s after the estimated day of conception?”

“Yes. I stopped immediately after I found out I was pregnant though, but…” you trail off, almost not wanting to voice your fears.

“I can tell that your nervous on how it could have affected your fetus. But, all of the research we’ve done has shown that continuing contraceptives after conception does not harm the fetus in any way.”

“So, they’re going to be okay?” you quietly ask, your hand instinctively placing itself on your stomach. You can see Stacey hesitate.

“They aren’t going to be affected because of your birth control. But I am still mildly concerned, based off the fact that you are about 2 months along, and you just realized. That means that you haven’t been taking prenatal vitamins. And I want to ask about your lifestyle. Have you continued to drink alcohol since the date of conception?”

“A few times, yes,” you answer honestly, feeling the slight tinge of guilt gnaw in your chest. “But it’s only been a few times. And never anything unreasonable.”

“I believe you and thank you for telling me. I will let you know that there could be developmental issues but, the most common issues we seen in drinking during the first 3 months is a lower birth weight, a higher chance of premature birth, and a higher chance of miscarriage. I’m not saying this to scare you. I just want to be realistic with you. Alright?”

You nod in understanding. That fact had been weighing on your mind since that test first came back positive. But hearing Stacey openly voice those concerns really plunged you into reality.

“Now,” Stacey continued, “what I’d like to do since you’re here is take an ultrasound, just to make sure that everything is looking good and that there aren’t any major issues. Then after that, we can discuss your options. Does that sound good?”

You give her another nod and intently listen as she explains the process of the ultrasound. As you lay back on the exam table, another spike of nerves rushes through you. Every step of this scared you because it was so far out of what you had planned for your life. And every decision you made was now twinged with this uncertainty, this apprehension. God, you wished Colton were here.

“Y/N?” you hear Stacey call to you, pulling you from your thoughts. “Are you alright?”

“Just a little nervous,” you reply, giving her a half truth.

“I can understand. Just take a moment, take a few deep breaths, okay.”

You follow her advice, directing your attention back up to the ceiling and breathing deeply, forcing yourself to push everything from your mind and focus only on the sensation of your body breathing with you.

“Okay, I’m good,” you tell Stacey, giving her the go ahead for the ultrasound. You close your eyes and continue to concentrate on your breathing, feeling the pressure of the ultrasound, the light from the screen peeking through your eyelids.

“Alright, so far, everything looks good. The fetus looks like they’re developing just fine, basically exactly what we’d expect at 8 weeks. Y/N, would you like to look?”

You turn your head towards the screen and open your eyes. On the screen in front of you is a small, well to be honest, blob. You can kind of differentiate from the head and the body, and you think you can see limbs forming.

“Are those their legs?” you ask, taking in the picture in front of you.

“Yep, and those are the arms just above it.”

“Wow.” You continue to look at the screen, your brain slowly wrapping around the fact that what you were seeing was your baby. Yours.

“Would you like to hear the heartbeat?”

“Can I?”

“Of course. Let me just get that ready for you,” Stacey replies and you watch the screen as she adjusts the ultrasound. You hear a small click from the device and then the room is filled with this sound, a repetitive whooshing sound.

“It almost sounds like my heartbeat when I’m underwater swimming,” you absentmindedly say. A small laugh comes from Stacey.

“I can see that. It can definitely sound like that since the fetus is encased in fluids right now.”

“Right,” you say, your eyes never leaving the screen, the sound still filling your eardrums.

“But it is a nice strong heartbeat, so that’s another good sign.”

“Can I take a video?” you ask, looking down at Stacey. She nods an affirmative and you grab your phone from it’s space on the table next to you. You position the camera to face the screen and take a short video of the ultrasound, heartbeat and all.

You and Stacey finish up and she gives you all your options and what the next steps would be in each of those decisions. You genuinely appreciated her advice and how she presented each choice in a very clinical matter, not swaying you in any direction and placing the choice in your hands. Stacey left you to get changed with a few brochures and pamphlets with more in depth information. You sent a quick text to Colton, telling him that you were done. As you were changing, you heard your phone ping and a reply from Colton popped up on the screen.

I’ll be there in 5.

After a few moments, you walk out of the office to see Colton sitting in the waiting room for you. He automatically looks up when he hears the door open and practically jumps from his chair when he sees you. You can’t help but laugh at his reaction as he reaches you.

“Have you been doing that every time the door opens?” you ask. You can see a light pink rush to his cheeks as he sheepishly looks down.

“Maybe.” You intertwine your hand with his, giving it a gentle squeeze.

“That’s pretty damn adorable, Colton.” He laughs with you as you two wander out of the building to Colton’s car. You hop in and see a plain vanilla concrete from Ted Drewes sitting in the front cup holder. And next to it is a bag of plain beef jerky.

“Colton, what is this?”

“Oh, I just thought that you might like something to eat. And I wasn’t exactly sure what you were craving.”

“It’s an interesting combination but thank you,” you say, picking up the Ted Drewes cup.

“Well, to be honest, I remember my mom telling Kendra that she once ate vanilla ice cream with beef jerky sprinkled on top when she was pregnant.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah. And she said it was actually quite good.”

You hum, continuing to eat your custard. But then, for some reason, curiosity got the best of you. You reach for the bag of beef jerky and you can see Colton watch you out of the corner of his eye. Opening the bag, you tear off a small strip of jerky and place it on top of a spoonful of custard. Popping it into your mouth, you chew, letting the flavor come to your taste buds. Your hand flies up to your mouth, your eyes widening.

“What is it? Do you need to puke?” Colton asks and you can see that he is about ready to pull over. But you stop him by placing your other hand on his arm.

“No,” you say, swallowing your mouthful. “This is actually amazing.” Colton looks at you quizzically.

“Really? It tastes good?” he asks, the doubt crystal clear in his voice.

“It is delicious,” you say as you take another strip of jerky out of the bag a straight up plunge it into the custard. “Like, it’s the perfect combination of salty and sweet and creamy and just…” you can see Colton watch your actions with utter disbelief. “Don’t look at me like that, it’s really good. Here, try it.” You start to make a small spoonful for him but he holds up a hand to stop you.

“No, thank you. I’ll leave the weird pregnancy cravings to you.”

A sudden silence fell over the car. It was as if the mention of pregnancy, or more so, the mention of you being pregnant, pushed the both of you back into the stark reality that you were currently in. You both sat there, watching the city go by. It was Colton that broke the silence first.

“How did it go?”

“Good,” you reply, your voice soft. “Everything is okay.”

“That’s good to hear.” The silence once again falls between the two of you and you let out a small sigh, knowing that he wants to hear more but knowing that he isn’t going to push you.

“I still haven’t decided,” you say, avoiding his eyes as you turn towards the window. You stay that way until you feel a strong hand land on the top of your knee. You turn to see Colton’s hand resting gently on you, his fingers assuredly stroking your denim clad leg. He doesn’t say anything, just continues his actions as he drives you back to your apartment. But this time, the silence isn’t heavy, isn’t weighing on the both of you with words unspoken. This silence felt… calm. Like the silence that the two of you often found yourselves in, in those moments curled up on the couch or walking down the street together. Filled with love and trust.

It continued as the two of you came back to your apartment, Colton’s hand in yours as he walked you up. When you entered your place, Colton led you to the couch and you took a seat, realizing how exhausted you felt. You curl up against the cushion and turn on the television, throwing on a movie that you had seen a hundred times, as Colton grabbed the soft blanket draped over the back and covered you. He leaned in a pressed a small kiss to your temple.

“Is it alright if I come back after the game?”

You give him a small yes and before he leaves, he gives you another quick kiss. You watch as the door closes gently behind him.

You sit there for a moment, letting your thoughts gather and collect. The pamphlets that Stacey gave you sit on the coffee table. Taking a deep breath, you lean over and grab them, organizing them on your blanket covered legs. After taking another small moment to collect yourself, you pick up the first one and start reading.

The pamphlets are super helpful, answering all the questions that you could have possibly had, as well as answering some that you didn’t even think to ask. While they did help define and clarify your choices, you knew there was still some additional research you wanted to do. You walk into your room and grab your laptop, returning to your spot on the couch and diving into your research.

As it turns out, you are in a really good place, despite this being entirely unplanned. You have enough money in your accounts and you knew that you could get financial support if you ever did need it. And it turns out that your job has a fantastic maternity leave. Everything seemed to be falling into place. But there was still something that held you back. And that was Colton.

You knew that he was going to be with you every step of the way, supporting you and uplifting you. However, he was also going to be gone for half of it. Doing his job, you knew that, but it was hard enough maintaining a long-distance relationship. How could the two of you do this when he couldn’t be with you for most of it? And afterwards, if you did decide to go through with it.

There was no website that could answer these questions for you. But you knew one person that might be able to help. So, you grabbed your phone and shot a quick text message to Vanessa Perron, asking her if you could Facetime. In a few minutes, your phone buzzes with a Facetime call from her.

“Hey, what’s up” she asks as soon as she sees your face the pop up on the screen.

“I need your advice,” you explain, your voice slightly shaking. “But before I ask you this, I need you to swear to absolute secrecy. You can’t tell anyone, not even David.”

“Okay,” Vanessa trails off, watching your face through her screen. “What’s going on Y/N? You’re starting to scare me.”

“Just promise me.”

“I promise. You have my word.”

“How did you do it?” you ask, the half-formed sentence falling from your mouth. You can see Vanessa’s face scrunch with confusion and you take a breath in attempt to calm your nerves. “I mean,” you continue, “when David was playing, how did you do it? How did you handle being pregnant and raising Mason and Victoria when David was always on the road?”

You can see her face soften as she takes you in, her eyes calmly observing you.

“It was tough,” she starts, “I’m not going to lie to you. There were times when I felt like I was alone in this, that I only had myself to lean on. But I will tell you right now that even though it may seem like that sometimes, it’s not true. You have all the friends that you’ve made, as well as all the other girls to lean on. I will tell you, they were my biggest support system, especially the ones that have already been through it. And the most important thing is that you will always have Colton. Even though he could be miles away and you may only be seeing him through a phone screen most nights, he will always be there for you. Y/N, he is so in love with you. You can see it on his face every time he looks at you. I can say it with absolute certainty that you two are solid. And if anyone can make this work, it’s you guys.”

You feel yourself smiling at her words. She guessed it; you knew she would. You could never keep a secret from her, from the time you first started seeing Colton to now. Vanessa became almost like an older sister to you and you knew you made the right choice to call her.

“Does it get any easier? As time goes on?” you question.

“A little bit. Mostly because you start developing routines and figure it out. David would compare it to hockey, of course,” she laughs, playfully rolling her eyes.

“Yeah, that sounds like David. Things still haven’t changed, even in retirement?”

“Did you really think it would? But I will tell you that it does get easier. Never perfect, mind you, but easier. As long as you both continue to lean on and support each other, you’re golden.”

“Thank you.”

“Always here to help,” Vanessa replies, smiling softly. “I mean it, I’m always here. If you need anything Y/N, just let me know.”

“I will. Thanks again,” you respond. And with that, you wave a quick goodbye to her and hang up. You let out a heavy breath, setting down your phone on the couch.

You sit in silence for a few moments, taking a breather and just letting yourself absorb everything. All of your questions were now answered for you and now, all that was left to do was decide. You knew what Colton wanted. But what did you want?

On a sudden impulse, you picked up your phone again and pulled up the short video that you had shot in your doctor’s office. Curling up under a blanket, you watched the screen, the ultrasound clear and the heartbeat strong and steady in your ears. And you realized that that blob on the screen in front you, that small thumping heartbeat, was you. It was Colton. It was the both of you, formed together, perfectly.

They were perfect. And they were yours. And you would be theirs.

Untangling yourself from your confines, you wander into the bathroom. You turn to the side, lifting your sweatshirt and staring at your stomach. Nothing looked different – no sign that anything had changed. But they were in there, growing. And as you placed your hand against your smooth skin, you swear you could feel them.

“Hi baby,” you gently say, your voice bouncing off the tiled walls. “It’s me, your momma.”

~

The front door opens and you can hear the thump of Colton’s hockey bag hitting the floor, followed closely by his shoes. His footsteps pad down the hallway until the bedroom door opens, the hall light illuminating your form, curled in the bedsheets, the only other light coming from the television. Colton makes his way over to you, placing a soft kiss on your forehead. You stay in place, watching him disappear into the bathroom and appear a few minutes later, out of his gameday suit and in his comfortable clothes. You lift the sheets as he moves back towards the bed and he gladly slides in underneath. Before you can even think, Colton is pulling you close to him, his arms wrapping around you, your head now resting on his chest, listening to his heart beating in your ear. The two of you say nothing, just basking in the warmth and comfort of each other. Until you decide to break the silence.

“I’m going to keep it,” you say, your head not moving from it’s spot on Colton’s chest. “The baby.” Your words linger in the darkness of the bedroom as you wait for Colton’s response. The silence soon becomes unbearable and you sneak a peek up at Colton to find his blue eyes already looking down at you.

“Are you serious?” he asks. Your only response is a small nod. You watch as a smile breaks out on his face, a look of pure joy and absolute love. You feel his hands gently cup your cheeks as he pulls you up into a passionate kiss that has a smile breaking out on your face to match his. The two of you break away, your foreheads touching.

“Do you want to hear the heartbeat?” you ask, your eyes locking with his. You can see a light brighten behind his irises as he quickly nods his head yes. You turn and grab your phone from the nightstand, opening it and pulling up the video for the second time that day. You can feel Colton scoot closer behind you, his arms wrapping around your torso and his face nuzzling into your neck. You feel his gentle breaths warming your neck as you press play, the noise filling the bedroom. Colton presses a quick kiss to the space behind your ear as the video ends and then you hear him gently whisper to you;

“Play it again.”

And so, you do. The last thing you can remember is the sound of your babies heartbeat and Colton’s hand gently caressing your stomach before you fall asleep.

APRIL

It had been about a month since you decided to keep the baby and you could already tell that it was a good decision. You made a new appointment with Stacey and she prescribed pre-natal vitamins for you to start on immediately, as well as a safe and adjustable exercise routine to make sure that you and the baby stayed healthy. The symptoms were still taking a lot out of you but you somehow managed, even if it meant more frequent trips to the bathroom and that your breakfasts were now exclusively smoothies to help calm your morning sickness. But the best part about everything was Colton.

Part of you knew he was going to be great at this, as he was already so attentive to your needs in the years the two of you had been dating. But now, it seemed as if it was dialed up even higher. He stocked up your cabinets with all of your favorite comfort snacks and you frequently found yourself napping on the couch curled around him, his hands running soothingly down your back.

And once you hit the 3-month mark, signaling the end of your first trimester, you and Colton were over the moon. The most nerve-wracking part was over and now you had to plan for the months ahead and the future after that. But those months still seemed so far away and you were in no rush. And neither was Colton.

And while everything seemed perfect in that month, there were still moments when you wished pregnancy could be a little easier.

You were up late. Again. Why, you weren’t entirely sure. But it might have something to do with the fact that you were suddenly hit with a craving and no matter how many other things you ate, similar food items to try and satisfy yourself and your child, nothing seemed to be working.

You knew you could always call Colton. He would drop everything for you but you didn’t want to. Part of you felt selfish and demanding, like you were expecting special treatment just because you were pregnant. Plus, Colton probably just landed in St. Louis after a long road trip and you were sure that all he wanted to do was go to bed.

But damn, this craving was not going away.

Before you could talk yourself out of it, you had dialed Colton’s phone number and were holding your phone to your ear, listening to the gentle ringing on the other line.

“Hey baby.” Colton picks up on the third ring and you start to feel tears prick your eyes at the sound of his voice. Stupid pregnancy hormones, you silently curse.

“Hi Colt. Um… I have a favor to ask you.”

“Of course. What do you need?”

“I want McDonald’s French fries.” You hear Colton lightly chuckle on the other end of the line at your plaintiff whimper. “Don’t laugh! I’ve been trying to find something else to eat but nothing is working. And you know my car is in the shop so I can’t go myself and no one is out for Doordash this late. And I’m sorry but they,” you say, emphasizing the small reference to your baby, “really want French fries. Please?” You hear Colton let out a small sigh and for a split-second you are worried that he’s annoyed with you. But then he speaks again and you can hear his smile in his voice.

“Yes, I will get you your French fries. What size do you want?”

“Probably a large.”

“I’ll be there as soon as I can. Okay?”

“Okay. Thank you, baby.”

“Of course, sweetheart. I love you.”

“I love you too. Thanks again.” With that, you hang up the phone and wander back to your bed. Throwing on a random TV show on Hulu, you sat and waited. And to your surprise, you only had to wait about 20 minutes before you heard the apartment door open. And when Colton swung open the bedroom and the smell of those French fries hit your nose, you were instantly making grabby hands towards him. Colton lets out a laugh at your movements and makes his way over to you.

“Well, I missed you too but I have a feeling that that isn’t directed towards me,” he says, smiling down at you as he hands you the bag and you immediately tear into it, placing a hot and salty French fry into your mouth. You hum in satisfaction as the taste washes over your tastebuds. You continue to munch on the food and smile up at Colton as he presses a kiss to your forehead.

Colton makes himself comfortable on the bed and pulls you closer to him, his eyes fixing on the television screen in front of him.  The two of you lay there in silence for a couple moment, the only thing breaking the silence is the occasional hum from you as you eat. Once you finish, you throw the empty French fry holder into the paper bag and set it on the floor next to your nightstand.

“Do you want me to throw that away for you?” you hear Colton say from behind you and you turn to see him sitting slightly up in bed.

“No, don’t worry about it. You already got me French fries after a long plane ride, you don’t need to do anything else. I can throw it out tomorrow morning,” you reply, laying back down and curling into Colton’s side. His hand takes its place on your lower back and you smile against his chest. You feel yourself start to tire, your craving satisfied and sleep over taking your body. You snuggle a little deeper into Colton and prepare to drift off.

“I think you should move in with me.”

That shocks you as you shoot straight up, turning to face Colton with a confused look. When your eyes connect with his, he has a small smile on his face, one of his eyebrows raised in amusement at your reaction.

“Come again?” you ask, still not entirely sure if you heard him right or if it was just something your brain inserted into the moment.

“You should move in with me,” Colton easily repeats. When the shocked expression remains on your face, he sits up and starts to explain. “I just think it would be easier for us. This way, I’m always there if you need anything, whether it’s cravings or any emergency. You know I have the room for both of us, as well as an extra room for the baby when they come. Plus, we kind of already talked about moving in together before this all happened, so now that we are having a baby together, it just seems to make even more sense.”

You sit there for a moment, thinking over everything he said. And the more you thought about it, the more you realized he was right. You loved your apartment and were proud of the home that it had become. But it was small and would only get smaller when you added another human into the mix. You let out a sigh and sink back down onto the bed, once again taking your place next to Colton.

“I would love to move in with you,” you say, kissing him gently before resting your head back onto his chest. “Besides,” you giggle to yourself as you fall asleep, “I already have half of my stuff there anyway so it shouldn’t be too much of a project.”

MAY

Usually, May is not a busy month for most people. It’s a transition month; the end of spring and the beginning of summer. People started making plans for the warmer months to come and maybe wrapped up any spring projects they had started.

But for you and Colton, this month was hectic to say the least.

The St. Louis Blues had officially clinched a playoff spot, but were still in the fight for home ice advantage so Colton was putting a lot of energy into leading his team to a few more wins before regular season ended. Colton’s birthday was also coming up and as a celebration, his parents and his siblings were coming down to see the last home game. And to top everything off, Mother’s Day just happened to coincide with everything and you managed to convince your parents to come down to St. Louis to celebrate with everyone else.

It worked out perfectly. The universe aligned and made sure that you and Colton had the perfect opportunity to announce the pregnancy to your family. And that was exactly what the two of you planned on doing.

You had everything set and ready for after the game. A small party at Colton’s place (well, technically your guys’ place), with Chinese food and just a low-key celebration. Now, the only thing you had to manage was being able to sit through a hockey game and keep everyone ignorant to the fact that you were expecting.

The sigh that left you when you heard the final buzzer sound was more than the normal sigh of relief. You made it through an entire day with your parents, an entire game with them sitting on one side of you and Colton’s family sitting on the other side, and the Blues pulled off a win in their last home game of the season, clinching a second-place spot in the division and home ice advantage in the first round of the playoffs. Spirits were high, everyone was happy, and most importantly, no one suspected anything.

You were laughing with Kennedy as you made your way down to the hallway outside of the locker room, ready to greet Colton and head back home for the small celebration that you two had planned. And when Colton appeared, game day suit on and hair still damp from his shower, a cheer erupted from the people around you. A giant smile appeared on Colton’s face as he saw his entire family celebrating, and your family right there next to them.

Colton lightly jogged over to you all, first giving hugs to his parents and siblings before he made his way to you. He smiles down at you and wraps you in a giant hug, pulling you close to him.

“Did they guess anything?” he whispers into your hair, quiet enough so that only you hear him.

“I don’t think so. No questioned why I wasn’t drinking and I hid my frequent bathroom trips by having an insane amount of water so they probably just think I’m really hydrated,” you reply and a small chuckle escapes Colton at your explanation. He pulls away from you before giving you a gentle kiss. He then turns and greets your parents.

“So, what’s the plan for the rest of the night?” you hear Colton’s dad Tom ask.

“Well, Y/N were thinking about celebrating at my house. Just something small and casual, nothing crazy. Just order some food, hang around, give presents, and all that. And everyone is invited of course,” Colton casually explains.

“That sounds perfect to me,” your mom chimes in. “Our flight out of here isn’t until late tomorrow so we really have no place we need to be.”

“Same with most of us,” Kendra adds.

“Well, it’s settled then! Colton, you and Y/N can lead the way and we will see you there.”

“That’s perfect, Dad,” Colton replies, taking your hand. “Well, let’s head out.” And with that, Colton guides you down the hallway towards the parking lot, your two families not far behind. All of you slip into your respective cars and start the trip back towards the apartment. You sigh, looking out the window as the city passes you by. The nerves of what you were about to do start and the anxiety causes your leg to bounce. You don’t even notice it until a strong hand lands on the top of your knee, ceasing your movements. You turn to see Colton, relaxed against the seat, one hand on the wheel guiding you both home.

“It’ll be fine. I promise you,” he says quietly, his hand never leaving you.

“I’m just worried. I mean, we haven’t been dating for very long, we’re not married, and we didn’t even plan on this happening. I’m just concerned about what our families will think about this… non-traditional start of a family.”

“I get that,” Colton replies, never dismissing your fears. “But I will tell you, even if the worse happens, we’ll have each other.”

“Always?”

“Always.”

Your tension seems to melt away with Colton’s reassurance and you spend the next moments tracing small patterns on the back of his hand while he continues to drive home. The two of you arrive at the house around the same time as the rest of your families do and you all pile in the front door and get comfortable in the living room. With some sway from you and Colton, the family agrees to order Chinese food and in a short while, the food arrives and everyone settles in. The next few hours are spent lounging in the living room, munching on your food, talking, laughing and exchanging presents, first to both of your moms for Mother’s Day and then to Colton for his birthday. And between all the laughter and stories, you find your fears dissipating. Seeing both of your families coming together, enjoying each other’s company and celebrating each other made you certain that they would be just as welcoming and supportive of you and Colton and the life you were bringing into the world. You connect your eyes to Colton and see the light in his eyes and you are certain that he is feeling the same confidence that you were. You give him a small nod, letting him know that you were ready.

“Alright,” Colton says, drawing everyone’s attention to him. “One last thing we have to do is open our fortune cookies. They are in the kitchen. Y/N, do you want to help me grab them?”

You nod and start to get up to make your way to the kitchen when Bryce stops the two of you.

“Wait, Y/N do you not have a present for my brother on his birthday?” Bryce questions, a teasing lit to his voice. Your mouth drops open as you try to stutter out an excuse when Colton wraps his arm around you, pulling you close and effectively silencing you.

“She already gave me my present this year,” he says casually and you can feel his fingers gently stroke the side of your stomach, subtly indicating to you what he was implying. You smile up at him and he leans down to press a soft kiss to your lips.

“Oh, I see,” Bryce replies, his teasing tone never leaving and you look over to see him playfully wiggle his eyebrows. That is until Kennedy lightly smacks his arm.

“Oh my god Bryce, stop being weird at a family gathering, geez.”

Laughter erupts from your families and you laugh as well, slightly shaking your head at the Parayko siblings antics. You and Colton disappear into the kitchen, grabbing the paper bag that held your Chinese food on the counter. You take two fortune cookies out of the bag, unwrapping them and placing them to the side, setting the bag with the rest of the cookies back onto the counter. You watch as Colton gets four different bags of identical fortune cookies out of the pantry. While there wasn’t any obvious difference between those and the ones that were still in the takeout bag, you knew that they each held a very specific and special fortune.

“I still can’t believe that they did this for us,” you whisper to Colton.

“Well, we order enough food from them that they know who they are, especially now with your cravings,” he gently teases in reply. “Okay, so this one is for our dads, this one for our moms, this one for my sisters, and this one for my brother,” he says, pointing to each respective bag.

“I’ll take our parents while you take your brothers and sisters?”

“Works for me.” You and Colton both grab the cookies, picking up the different cookies in separate hands.

“Make sure you remember which hand is which,” you say to Colton as you start back towards the living room.

“That’s pretty easy for me since I have a different number in each,” Colton laughs.

“Right. I guess that was more of a note for me,” you laugh in reply, reminding yourself that the cookies for you and Colton’s dad were in your right. The two of you came back into the living room and handed out the cookies to your family. Colton then runs and grabs the two that you set aside earlier before joining the rest of you. He sits next to you, scooting as close to you as possible as he hands you a cookie.

“Okay guys, on the count of three,” Colton says and your heartrate spikes as you watch everyone prepare to crack open their cookie. Colton’s hand finds its place on your knee once again and you take a deep breath. “One… two… three.”

A small chorus of cracks ring out as everyone breaks their cookie. You aren’t sure who to focus on, your eyes bouncing to every person until they finally settle on your mom. You watch as she pulls the small piece of paper out of the shell and turn it, her eyes darting to read the message. Her hand flies up to her mouth as the words sink in and she looks up and connects her eyes with yours. You give her a small smile before the silence is broken by Kendra.

“What?! No way!” Kendra practically yells as she turns towards you and Colton. “Are you for real?”

“What does your fortune say?” Colton teasingly asks her.

“It says; you’re going to be an aunt!”

“So does mine,” Kennedy pipes up.

“Mine says uncle,” Bryce chimes in.

“What does your guys’ say?” you ask, turning back towards you and Colton’s parents. The replies of grandma and grandpa fall from their lips as the smile on your face remains.

“Are you serious?” Kendra asks again, her eyes locked on you and Colton. You feel Colton shift next to as he reaches into his back pocket, pulling out the set of photos from your latest ultrasound and unfolding them for everyone to see.

The next thing you register is a scream from Kendra as she practically leaps from her seat on the couch and runs over to you, pulling you into a giant bone-crushing hug.  You start laughing at her reaction as she keeps her arms tight around you. You look up in enough time to see Kennedy run to you and join her sister in giving you a hug. They finally let you go and you see Bryce hugging Colton, congratulating him. You feel a small tap on your shoulder and see your mom standing next to you. There is a miniscule pause before she opens up her arms and you rise out of your seat and fall into her hug. She pulls you close and gives you a small squeeze before letting you go and gently pushing you towards your dad, who also gives you a hug. It continues like this for a while, everyone surrounding you and Colton, hugging and congratulating the two of you.

“Wait, when did you find out?” Kendra’s voice cuts through the chatter as everyone sits back down.

“About three months ago.”

“You’re already three months along!” Kennedy shouts, her smile growing even wider at your small nod in confirmation. There is some more clamor as that news circulates through your families.

“Was this planned?” Kendra asks and even though the question brings you pause, you silently thank Kendra for voicing a question that was probably on everyone’s mind.

“No, not at all,” you reply. “To be completely honest, this was completely by accident.”

“A happy accident,” your dad pipes up.

“Did you steal that from your Bob Ross videos?” you laugh.

“Maybe I did. But it’s true.” You smile at him and look at everyone’s faces and you can see the excitement and love behind all their eyes. Everyone in that room was loved you and Colton and would absolutely love your child. And as the conversation continues, talking about pregnancy cravings with Colton’s mom, and general baby stuff, you relax your head against Colton’s shoulder and feel him press a soft kiss into your hair.

JUNE

The St. Louis Blues were going to the third round of the playoffs. Part of you couldn’t believe it. You knew that Colton and the team worked so hard towards this goal and now they were one step closer to bringing the Stanley Cup back to St. Louis. But it was bittersweet. Because as the Blues season continued, so did the days that you had to spend without Colton next to you.

And that’s why you were now laying on the bed, watching as Colton moves from the closet to his suitcase resting on the foot of the bed, folding his clothes in preparation for the Blues road trip to Calgary.

“I’ll miss you,” you randomly say as you watch Colton stuff his socks into an inner pocket.

“I’ll miss you too,” he replies, still focused on his task.

“Is it selfish if part of me wants you to stay?” Colton looks up and sees you absentmindedly twiddling your fingers, avoiding his gaze.

“Y/N, look at me.” His voice breaks you out of your thoughts as you connect your eyes to his. Colton makes his way over to you, perching himself on the edge of the bed next to you. “Nothing you want makes you selfish, especially considering the fact that your pregnant.”

“It’s not even because I’m pregnant,” you huff. “I just wish that I could have you to myself for more than three months of the year. And before you say anything, I know that’s your job and I knew what I signed up for when I agreed to date you and all of that. But it’s still hard.”

Silence falls over the room as your words sink in. Colton sits on the bed, staring off into space. As the quiet continues, worry starts to creep in that you’ve said too much, that you made it seem that you hated Colton’s career and by connection, Colton. Hockey was such a big part of his life way before the two of you even met and you knew he worked his ass off to get to where he was today. You reach towards him, about to open your mouth and apologize when he speaks first.

“It’s hard for me too,” he says, his eyes still directed away from you. “You have no idea how many nights I’ve wanted you in my arms, how many times I wish that I could see you in person, not just a picture on my phone. And now, now that I know that you are here pregnant, I can’t help but miss you even more. And I worry that I’m missing so much, missing so many milestones. And that terrifies me even more about the future when they’re born and I’m going to be on the road and the fact that I might miss their first word, first steps, things like that. And I’m leaving you alone to figure everything out on your own. It scares the shit out of me.”

Colton lets his confession hang over the two of you, his eyes still downcast as he stays in his position next to you on the bed. That is where they stay until you reach out to him, your hand gently wrapping around his forearm. His crystal blue eyes connect with yours as you pull him closer. He slowly gives in, readjusting his position on the bed till he is laying next to you, one hand resting on your stomach.

“I love you,” you say, breaking the silence, “every part of you. I love that you’re so passionate about the things you love. And while it sucks that sometimes I can’t be with you and you can’t be with me, I know we’ll figure it out. We’ve done pretty good so far, haven’t we?” Colton gives a small hum in reply. “And as far as you missing out on things, I can’t promise that you will be there for everything. But I know you’ll try your hardest to be there for the things you can. And I’ll try my hardest to make sure that you don’t miss anything. Even if it means recording this kid’s every movement.” You feel Colton laughter rumble through you at your declaration.

“Please don’t do that. You might give them a god complex or something.” You and Colton lay there for a few more moments, letting each other find comfort in the other.

“Speaking of milestones, my doctor mentioned that we can find out the sex of the baby next appointment if you want to. I can make sure to schedule it when you’re available,” you explain.

“Do you want to find out?” Colton asks. You eyebrows furrow at the question.

“Why? Do you?” Colton replies with a small shrug.

“I don’t know. I wouldn’t mind waiting until their born to find out. Makes that day even more exciting and you know that I’m not missing that moment for the world.”

You let yourself think for a moment. Did you really want to find out your baby’s sex? All of your friends did and they loved knowing. It meant a personalized nursery, tons of baby clothes, and one less uncertainty of the multitudes that came with pregnancy. You enjoyed every gender reveal that you had ever gone to. But as you thought, you realized the part you loved most about those parties was seeing your friends faces when they finally knew; that unbridled excitement and joy. And who said that you had to experience that joy months before your baby came?

“You know,” you say to Colton, looking down at him. “I actually wouldn’t mind waiting. It does add some excitement, doesn’t it? Besides, not knowing will probably be a great motivation when the day does come. We want to find out so I want this baby out of me as fast as possible.”

You hear Colton laugh at your statement and you join him, letting the tension that was previously in the room melt away. The two of you are still giggling when you feel a sharp jab against your stomach. Your laughter is cut off as you suck in a breath, the feeling catching you off guard. It takes a few seconds to realize that Colton’s laughter had also stopped. You look up to see him frozen, hand splayed on your stomach and his eyes focused on your abdomen.

“Did you feel that too?” you ask, taking his reaction. He nods gently, his eyes never leaving your stomach.

“Was that the first time they’ve done that?” he asks.

“Yeah,” you reply breathlessly. “I mean, I’ve felt them moving but it’s really just felt like little flutters. This was the first time they actually full out kicked me.”

“I don’t think they appreciated the implication that you wanted them out as soon as possible,” Colton joked and you let out a light laugh before you felt the baby kick again, right on the spot where Colton’s hand rested.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” you laugh, watching Colton as he stared in awe at his hand. You continued to watch as Colton leaned down and gently placed his forehead on your stomach.

“Don’t worry baby, you can stay in there for a few more months,” he whispers into your skin, pressing a small kiss to your ever-growing bump. “Besides, you can’t come out now. Daddy’s gotta go win the Stanley Cup.”

JULY

As it turns out, Colton was good on his word to your unborn child. The St. Louis Blues beat the Calgary Flames to move on to face the New York Islanders in the Stanley Cup Finals. And they won.

The St. Louis Blues were Stanley Cup Champions once again.

The celebrations afterwards were a blur. You were at the Enterprise Center when the final buzzer went off, one of Colton’s giant jerseys covering your bump as you came down to the ice to celebrate. And you could see Colton resisting the urge to lean down and kiss your stomach, effectively revealing your secret to everyone in the arena. Then, there was the parade downtown and the small celebrations afterwards. You elected to stay home during those, knowing that you would be exhausted if you did participate and that it would be hard enough to let your secret pregnancy remain, well, a secret. You and Colton seemed to be making it through. But then, the invitation came.

An invitation to Coach David Backes’ house for a final Cup celebration before everyone went back to their respective homes across the country and around the world.

You and Colton were going. You almost had to at this point. But in a house filled with your friends, the alcohol surely flowing, and the temptation of an amazing pool, how could you continue to hide your pregnancy?

This was the one thing running through your mind as you stood in the closet, clothes scattered around you, and you staring at your reflection in the full-length mirror. You are so focused that you don’t notice Colton walk in until he lightly whistles at the disaster zone that the closet floor had now become.

“What happened here?”

“I can’t figure out how to hide my bump,” you huff out as you grab another flowy tank top, throwing it on over your head and sighing as you watch the material cling your stomach. You already caved and bought a maternity bathing suit, in case you wanted to get in the pool at some point. But now, you were stuck on finding something to wear over it. You sigh as you take off the tank and throw it down, another addition to the growing pile on your floor.

In the mirror, you see Colton walk up to you, his hands wrapping around your waist, coming to gently cradle your stomach. His chin rests on the top of your head as he locks his eyes with yours in the reflection.

“Why are we still trying to hide it?” he asks softly. The two of you stand there for a moment, letting Colton’s questions linger. “I mean, I’ve been wanting to tell the guys, and I can only assume that you’ve been wanting to tell the girls. So, why don’t we?”

“You mean, why don’t we tell them today? At the party?” you clarify and watch as Colton nods his head. You turn away from the mirror to face him completely, your arms lifting up to wrap around his neck. “I would love that. I think it would be perfect,” you say and a smile breaks out on Colton’s face at your reply. “But,” you continue, “I don’t think the best way to go about it just casually walking into the party and showing off the bump.”

“True. Maybe I can find a way to announce it to everyone. You know, use my status as Captain to make everyone listen to me.”

“Calm down there, Parayko. Don’t let the title go to your head,” you tease. “But I do like that idea. However, that does put me back into the situation you found me a few minutes ago.” Colton looks at you quizzically and you almost laugh at how quickly he managed to forget the piles of clothes surrounding the both of you. “What am I going to wear?”

With Colton’s help, you finally find a striped tent-like dress that is loose enough to hide your stomach. You decide to add a light swimsuit coverup for an extra layer of distraction as well as some accessories and before you know it, you and Colton are headed off to David’s house.

When the two of you arrive, the party is in full swing. Almost all of the players, coaches, and their families are hanging out in the house, lounging by the pool and enjoying each other’s company. And in the center of it all sits the Stanley Cup, perched on it’s own table in the backyard. Colton is immediately pulled away by some of the guys, leaving you to fend for yourself. You manage to find a seat with some of the WAGs in the backyard and simply relax, letting the party unfold around you. You manage to remain there, laughing with the other girls and letting the time pass, waiting for the moment when Colton will call everyone together for your announcement. And it goes smoothly until Rachel gets up and offers to get another round of drinks for everyone.

“I’m good with my water, thank you,” you say, holding up your water bottle.

“Oh, boo. Come on Y/N, it’s not every day that we win the Stanley Cup,” Rachel complains.

“Sorry. I wish I could but I can’t,” you shoot back.

“Why can’t you?” Jess asks from her spot next to you. You silently curse at your choice of words, hoping that you didn’t tip them off too much to anything.

“Well, I knew Colton wanted to really celebrate with the guys so I offered to be our designated driver. So, yeah, I can’t,” you explain, the excuse thankfully forming quickly in your mind.

“Yeah, that’s a pretty good reason. Except for the fact that you and Colton have been here for almost two hours and I think he’s still on his first beer,” Jess points out.

“He’s trying to be a good Captain and show restraint?” you suggest.

“Ha! Yes, Captainly restraint!” you hear Dayna from the other side of the table. “If that’s the case then I applaud Colton because Ryan didn’t have any of that the time we won when he was Captain.”

The only reply you can think to that is a shrug and thankfully, it seems as if that response was enough for the girls around you. Except it seems for Jess. You can still feel her eyes on you, even as the conversation moves onto other topics, quietly observing you. A few more minutes pass and some of the girls decide that it’s time for them to jump in the pool. You decline, saying something like you’ll join them later. They leave you sitting at the table and you start to relax, closing your eyes and letting the noise of the party continue around you. Your peace is short-lived when you hear a throat clear. Your eyes open to see Jess in the seat next to you, eyes locked on yours.

“Okay, what is going on with you?” she asks.

“What do you mean?”

“Y/N, I know you. You and I are best friends and have been since Colton and you started dating. Do you really think I can’t tell when something is going on?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you reply, trying desperately to shift her focus away from you. You loved Jess, you really did, and you wanted to tell her, but all you were trying to do right now was distract her until Colton made his announcement.

“Well, let’s see,” Jess continues, undeterred by you, “you aren’t drinking, which I mean, I know you don’t drink a lot anyway, but staying completely sober is a little weird for you. You haven’t gotten into the pool today which is also out of character because you love the summer and swimming. You haven’t been to a lot of the celebrations and every time I ask Colton where you are, he says something like she needed to rest. And on top of that, every time I see you, you look like you’re practically drowning in your clothes. For the past few Blues games, I haven’t seen you wear anything but Colton’s old jersey which practically swallows you. So, like, what is going on?”

You start to open your mouth, to try and find any excuse you possibly could for all of her observations, when she suddenly held up her hand.

“Wait just a minute,” she says, a newfound sparkle in her eyes. You felt your heart drop, knowing that look well. “Not drinking, tired, and trying to hide your body? Y/N, are you pregnant?”

She figured it out. You look around, just to make sure that there isn’t anyone close by to overhear, before you turned back to Jess and simply nodded your head. Jess’ hands flew up to her mouth in an instant as she tried to contain her excitement.

“Oh my god! I can’t believe it! That’s amazing, congratulations!” she squeals, leaning forward in her seat to hug you.

“Thank you. But you can’t tell anyone. I mean, at least for the rest of the day. Colton and I were planning to announce it sometime during the party so, everyone will know soon enough.”

“Everyone will know what?” you hear a voice sound from behind you and turn to find David standing there with Kelly in his arms, looking down at both of you.

“Nothing,” you quickly say, looking over to Jess who is trying her hardest not to blurt out her newly discovered knowledge.

“Oh, honey I think she’s talking about the fact that she’s pregnant,” Kelly says so casually that it catches you off guard.

“What?” you ask, mostly for clarifications sake.

“Y/N, I’ve been through this a few times. You and Colton aren’t as sneaky as you think you are,” she laughs, leaning down to hug you.

“How did you know?” you whisper to her.

“I figured it out like, two months ago,” she says, pulling away from you and turning back to David. “I mentioned it to him as well but he didn’t believe me. Well babe, do you believe me now? I knew it and I was right!”

“You were right about what?” you hear another voice and turn to find Rachel and her boyfriend grabbing seats at the table.

“That Y/N is pregnant,” Kelly casually says.

“Kelly!”

“Wait, Y/N, you’re pregnant?”

“Oh my god,” you say, exasperated. “Colton! Colton, can you please come here?” you call out and, in a few seconds, Colton comes jogging up to you, standing behind your chair and placing his hands on your shoulders.

“Yeah baby, what up?”

“They know,” you simply say, looking up at him. “They figured it out.” You can see that it takes a moment for Colton to understand what you were saying until it finally sinks in.

“Really?”

“Yeah, really.” Colton lets out a breath, one of his hands going up to run through his hair.

“Well, I guess now is as good a time as any,” he says to you, turning to focus his attention on the rest of the party. “Hey everyone,” he calls out, his voice carrying over the backyard, “can I have your attention please?” He waits for a few moments for everyone to turn towards the two of you. “Um, this wasn’t exactly the way we wanted to tell everyone and I don’t really have that much of a speech prepared so I guess I’ll just come out and say it. Y/N’s pregnant, and we’re expecting a baby.”

Before the final words came out of Colton’s mouth, a chorus of cheers and screams come up from around you. You and Colton were suddenly bombarded with hugs and congratulations from almost everyone at the party, along with hundreds of questions that the two of you tried to answer. And then, when you finally took off your dress to show off your bump in your brand-new swimsuit, even more screams went up from the girls, a combination of excitement and disbelief that you were able to hide it for this long.

The celebration continued and you had to say that you felt a hundred times lighter than you did before. The secret was out and now you and Colton didn’t have to hide anymore. You could enjoy the rest of this pregnancy together, and now enjoy it with all of your friends and family. And when the party nears its end, you find yourself in the pool, leaning against Colton, wrapped in his arms.

“Well,” he says, nuzzling into your hair, “the announcement could’ve gone a little smoother.” You laugh in agreement.

“That’s what we get for hiding it, I suppose.”

“I guess so,” he says, his hands moving down to cradle your stomach. “Do we want to still hide it from the rest of the world?”

“No. I think we’re ready to let people know.”

“Are you scared of the backlash? You know people online can be mean,” he questions. You slowly turn in his arms, facing him and gently cupping his cheeks in your hands.

“I don’t care. As long as I have you, I know we’re going to be fine.”

AUGUST

The last trimester. You were finally there, counting down the months until this pregnancy ended. And you were completely ready for it to be over, while at the same time, wholly unprepared for it.

Colton and you had been spending the past few weeks trying to prepare yourself but it was sometimes hard to know exactly where to start. You had accomplished a good amount, like letting your work know and securing maternity leave, buying some essentials like diapers, pacifiers, and some baby clothes. Most of your nights were filled with you and Colton lying in bed, thinking up baby names. The two of you had finally managed to narrow it down, one for a boy and one for a girl. But despite the leaps that you did make in getting ready for your baby to come into the world, there was one daunting project that still needed to be completed: the nursery.

Sure, the two of you had started to plan it out and you had a whole Pinterest board of ideas, but nothing seemed to stick. You were torn between wanting it to be gender-neutral but not wanting it to be a plain beige and white room in your house.  But you couldn’t think of anything else to do. To be honest it was driving you completely insane.

You were almost entirely burnt out trying to think of a way to make your nursery a beautiful unique place that you had found yourself frequently going out and wandering baby stores, looking for inspiration. Your shopping excursions had sort of worked. All of the staff at these stores were kind and helpful suggesting ideas for your nursery. They had also helped you find some beautiful furniture; a crib, a beautiful rocking chair, and a dresser/changing table. But you still had absolutely no ideas for the décor and the theme of the nursery. And now, the room that you and Colton had chosen started to look more like a storage area than anything else.

You were ready to decorate. You had never been more ready for anything. But still, inspiration wasn’t coming to you. So, you once again found yourself wandering around the baby stores in your local mall, trying desperately to find something, anything, that you loved.

Geez, at this point I might just cave and buy some nice white sheets and have a simple neutral room, you thought to yourself as you walked down the bedding aisle in your third store of the day. Your hands reached out to feel the multitudes of fabric you passed, colored in pinks and blues and shades of gray, patterned with everything from flowers to stars to animals.

You rubbed your eyes, exhaustion and frustration taking over you. Who knew that this would be the hardest part of pregnancy? But then, when you opened your eyes again, something caught your eye.

You weren’t sure exactly why it stood out to you. Maybe it was the bright color, or maybe it was the pattern, something unique that you hadn’t really seen before. But you made your way over and picked up a pack of white bedding, patterned with oranges and leaves. It was really beautiful, the colors vibrant but the design delicate enough for a nursey. Your fingers traced the vines and leaves that swirled over the sheets until you felt a sharp kick come from your belly.

Your hand falls from the sheets to cradle your stomach, your thumb caressing the skin.

“Do you like this one?” you ask your bump, and almost immediately, as if in reply, another kick comes.

You look back at the bedding, looking it over once more. And the more you thought about it, the more you loved it. It was everything you were looking for; fun yet sweet, colorful yet gender neutral, perfect for the nursey that you had been trying to conjure in your mind.

“You know what,” you address your bump again, “I think you’re right. This one is perfect.” You throw the bedding into your shopping cart, your mind finally buzzing with ideas on how to decorate this perfect room for your baby; a nursey decked out in greens and oranges, everything being tied to the soft comfortable bedding that your baby was going to sleep on every night.

“You know kid,” you say out loud, your hand coming to your stomach once again. “I like your style.”

SEPTEMBER

“Oh my god, Jess, where are you dragging me now?” you exclaim as Jess pulls you out of the small café where the two of you had just finished lunch. She had shown up at your house early today and insisted that you come for a small girls day with her. After some gentle encouragement from Colton, you let her pull you around downtown. The two of you had already gone to a few boutiques, got your nails done, and had finally eaten.

“I’m a very pregnant person, in case you didn’t notice. It is cruel to make me walk around for hours,” you playfully whine as Jess doesn’t reply to your previous question, instead hauling you back to the car.

“Oh my gosh, you are so dramatic,” she giggles as you lift yourself into the passenger seat. “And besides,” she continues as she hops into the drivers seat next to you, “it’s odd that you are now using your pregnancy as an excuse not to do stuff when you said earlier this year, you didn’t want the girls to throw you a baby shower, just because you were pregnant.”

“Well, I guess that’s the beauty of being the one who is carrying a baby. I get to decide when to use my pregnancy to my advantage,” you chirp back, laughing.

Jess was right about what you said though. The girls came to you about a month ago, asking if you wanted a baby shower and you said no. Partially because you weren’t such a huge fan of parties, but mostly because you didn’t want another huge project to plan on top of all the final preparations for your babies arrival.

But at the same time, you did love the idea of a baby shower. All of your friends coming together and celebrating you and the life you were bringing into the world. Not to mention the fact that everyone would be there, offering advice and lending support as you neared the finish line. You expressed these feelings to Colton but while you did slightly want a baby shower, you would be happy if you didn’t have one, if these last two months were just you and him.

You were so lost in your thoughts that you didn’t even notice that Jess had already entered your neighborhood and was rounding the corner towards the house. She pulls into the driveway and hops out, only to help you open the door and get out of the car yourself.

“Come on, preggers,” she jokes as she takes your hand, “it’s time for you to go inside.”

“Wait a minute, I can help you carry the bags in the house,” you say, following her to the now open trunk, “I’m pregnant, not completely useless.”

“There you go again. Jeez Y/N, either your pregnant or you’re not. Make up your mind,” she teases, grabbing both her and your shopping bags from the car. Your only reply is a tongue stuck out at her and she laughs, opening the garage and walking inside, with you close behind.

Jess reaches the door first, somehow holding it open for you with her foot and you wander in, ready to change into more comfortable clothes and sit on the couch for the rest of the day. But when you round the corner into your living room, you are caught completely off guard.

“SURPRISE!” The shout goes up from around you and you are shocked to see your living room filled decorations, balloons, gifts and the WAGs all sitting on the couches waiting for you. And sitting in the center of it all was Colton, a giant smile on his face.

“What,” you stammer as you take in your surroundings. “How? What is happening?” You turn to look at everyone’s facing smiling up at you. Colton stands and walks towards you, taking you into his arms and giving you a quick kiss.

“You mentioned that you didn’t want to plan a baby shower on top of everything else but still sort of wanted one so, I called Jess and she and the girls helped plan all of this to surprise you,” he explains, casually waving his hand to your newly decorated living room. “Are you surprised?”

“Well… yeah,” you say, laughing as you continue to take everything in. “Wait a minute, is that why you were so insistent on me going out with Jess today?” Colton looks down, nodding his head with a small embarrassed smile. You spin around to face Jess, who had entered the living room shortly after you.

“And you! That’s why you randomly showed up at my door this morning!”

“Well, we had to get you out of the house somehow,” Jess laughs, finding an empty space on the couch and sitting down. “Consider all the things I bought for you while we were out to be your baby shower presents.”

You shake your head, still stunned in disbelief at the fact that Colton and the girls managed to pull this off without your knowledge.

“You guys are awesome,” you finally say and once again hear cheers go up from around the girls. Colton takes your hand and leads you to the armchair sitting in the center of the room, the center of attention. All of the girls start talking and laughing, the ones already with kids giving you advice while the others coo over your nursery. You take your time opening all the lavish gifts from the girls, oohing and aahing at all the new toys, clothes, and décor you received. It isn’t long before you find yourself sitting in Colton’s lap, your legs thrown over the arm of the chair, Colton’s hands gently massaging your feet, happily munching on a small chocolate cupcake.

“Thanks for doing all this again babe,” you say, turning to Colton and pressing a quick kiss into his cheek, lightly laughing when you pull away to reveal some chocolate clinging to his skin. You reach up and gently wipe it away, Colton’s eyes never leaving you. He reaches up, gently placing a hand on your bump.

“Anything for my two loves.”

OCTOBER

You were back in Enterprise Center, a sea of blue and gold surrounding you. It was the home opener and you were about ready to pop. Your baby was due any day now but you were insistent that you come to the game and celebrate the start of a new season with Colton. Not to mention, you wanted to see the pre-game celebrations: the banner raising and experience the crowd go wild for their Stanley Cup champions one last time before they started all over again.

When you told Colton you were planning on going, he was at first resistant, ready to lock you in the house instead. You knew it was out of worry for you, that he didn’t want you to be too overwhelmed and stressed. He also expressed concerns about you going into labor during the game and what would happen if you did. You responded to his fears, mentioning that you could easily go into labor during the game when you were stuck at home and then it would take even longer for him to get to you. And on the slim chance that that would happen, at least this way you’d be close to each other.

When you were convincing Colton to let you come, you honestly didn’t believe that you would go into labor during the damn game. But it happened, five minutes into the second period.

You were sitting in your seat in the box with all of the WAG’s, cheering on Colton and the boys as they held a steady lead when you felt a sharp pain in your abdomen. You winced slightly, pushing back the phantom contraction. You had been experiencing Braxton Hicks contractions for the past few days therefore, you didn’t think anything of it this time. That is, until you got up to grab another drink and felt a warm rush of liquid between your legs.

“Oh my god,” you whisper to yourself, pausing halfway up the stairs. “This cannot be happening right now.”

“Y/N,” you hear Rachel call to you and you turn to look at her, her face etched with concern. “Are you okay?”

“I…” you start to stammer out, “I think my water broke.”  

Your quiet declaration calls the attention of the rest of the girls and before you know it, they are rushing over to you, guiding you to sit back down.

“Have you had any contractions?” Kelly asks you, crouching down next to you.

“Yeah, but I thought they were just Braxton Hicks,” you explain.

“How frequently have they been happening?”

“I’m not sure. I sort of felt them at before the game started and they’ve been going on and off since then.”

“Have they gotten stronger? Or closer together?”

“I’m not sure about closer together but this last one was definitely stronger than before.”

“Okay,” Kelly says, calming you and everyone else around you, “here’s what we’re going to do. I think you are in labor but it could be early. There is no need to panic right now. So, we’re going to time your contractions and then call your doctor, okay?”

You nod gently, sitting back and continuing to watch the game play out on the Jumbotron, all while holding Kelly’s hand, letting her know when another contraction started and when it ended. This went on for a few minutes, as you sat through about three bouts of contractions. Kelly timed each one and when the buzzer sounded, she was ready to leap into action.

“Okay, let’s call your doctor but I’m pretty sure that they’ll have you come in.”

“How far apart are they?”

“Right now, you’re holding steady at 8 minutes apart.”

“My doctor said to call when they were five minutes apart,” you explained.

“I know, but it’s to be safe, okay?” Kelly gently soothed you. You nodded in agreement and dialed your doctor’s office. You explained what was happening, when your water broke, the time between your contractions, and the length of them. Stacey assured you that you were right on track but she did ask that you come to the hospital now, just to make sure you and Colton didn’t have to fight traffic after the game. You hung up your phone and explained everything to the girls around you. They jumped up, ready to help you.

“Do you have your hospital bag in the car?” Kelly asks, helping you rise from your seat.

“Yeah, it’s in the trunk, but I think Colton will probably want us to take his car…”

“I’ll get it for you,” Jess volunteers. You had her your bag and she rummages around for your car keys. She finds them quickly and is gone before you know it, practically sprinting down the corridor towards the exit.

“What about Colton? Who’s going to get him?” you ask, as Kelly gently leads you out of the suite.

“We are, right now. We’ll walk you to the elevator and explain everything to the security guard and then we’ll go down and get Colton.” You nod in confirmation as Kelly leads you down the hallway, holding one hand while Rachel holds the other.

When you near the elevator, Kelly lets you go and jogs over to the security guard standing outside. You can see her rapidly explaining the current situation and once you get there, they gesture you inside. You see the guard swipe their keycard and hit the button to lead you down to the basement of the Enterprise Center. Kelly and Rachel walk you down to the entrance of the locker rooms before Kelly is once again explaining the situation to yet another security guard. You watch and the two of them disappear into the locker room and you wait a few moments. You think you hear a cheer from within the room and in about 10 minutes, Kelly exits with Colton hot on her heels. His hair is sweaty as he runs up to you, clad in his athletic clothes.

He closes the gap between you and kisses you fiercely, cradling your face in his hands.

“Are you alright?” he asks as he breaks away.

“Yeah, just, you know, going into labor during a hockey game,” you joke to him, trying to crack a smile but then wincing as another contraction hits you. You attempt to breath through it, shaking off the pain. Colton grabs your hand and he, Kelly, and Rachel lead you out into the parking garage. You get to Colton’s car and see Jess standing there, your hospital bag in her hands.

“There you are!” she exclaims as Colton unlocks the car. “I feel like I’ve been standing here for hours.” She opens the passenger side door and helps you into the car, placing your bag at your feet. Her, Rachel, and Kelly give you quick hugs, wishing you good luck before closing the door. You turn to see Colton hop in the driver’s seat, starting the car in record time and immediately back out of the parking lot. He turns the two of you onto the road, driving as fast as he could to get you to the hospital. You laugh at his concern.

“Colton, I’m not going to have this kid in the passenger seat of your car. You can slow down a little bit.”

“Consider this my ‘I told you so,’” he jokes as he turns down another street. “’Don’t worry Colton, there’s no chance I’ll go into labor at the game,’” he continues, teasing you with the words you said earlier that day.

“Well, at least we have a great story to tell everyone.”  Colton turns into the hospital and finds a parking spot and immediately hops out of the car, opening the passenger side, grabbing your hospital bag, and helping you out. He walks you to the door, his hand never leaving yours.

“You drive me crazy sometimes,” he mutters as he guides you into the lobby, “in the best way, though.” The two of you come up to the counter and explain the current situation. The nurses come around with a wheelchair for you and Colton helps you sit down.

“Well, you better be ready because soon there’ll be another person that might drive you even crazier than me,” you giggle as the nurses start to push you down the hall, Colton right next to you.

“Good thing I’m ready for anything.”

~

You were a mom. After 7 hours of labor, a lot of pushing, and an almost constant death grip on Colton’s hand, you were a mother to a beautiful 21.4in, 7lb, baby girl.

Caroline Sophia Parayko was born at 4:19am on October 15th and she was everything that you and Colton could have hoped for. Absolutely perfect.

You remember when the nurses first placed her in your arms and you were immediately overcome with every possible emotion you could name as you looked down at your daughter. Colton was right there, brushing your hair back and pressing kisses into your forehead, murmuring consistent praises into your skin, wiping the tears that fell down your cheeks. You had never felt more in love with the man next to you than you did in that moment and you had never felt more in love with anyone in your entire life than what you did towards the newborn child nestled in your arms. The nurses were a great help, cleaning you and Caroline up and helping you feed your daughter for the first time. After an absolutely sleepless night, you finally managed to nap with Caroline in the bassinet next to you.

It’s the bright late morning sun that wakes you up as it shines into your room. You slowly stir in your bed, letting the hospital sheets rustle around you. You turn towards the bassinet, opening your eyes to greet your daughter when you find it empty. A small jolt of panic runs through you until you hear a small coo sound from a few feet away.

You look up to the couches next to you to see a shirtless Colton. The sunlight hits his skin and hair, making him glow. And in his arms is Caroline, pressed against his chest, a soft blanket wrapped around the two them. You can barely see her hands move, lightly pushing against her father, her small coos sounding as Colton gently rocks her. And in the silence of the room, you can hear the words he is whispering to her.

“I love you. I love you so much.” Colton’s gentle voice echoes through the quiet. “Daddy loves you. Momma loves you. You are our everything Caroline. Everything. Our love, our perfect baby girl.” Colton shoots a glance up at you and you quickly close your eyes, pretending that you were still asleep, not wanting to ruin this beautiful moment.

“And don’t tell Momma this just yet,” you hear Colton continue, whispering even softer, “but I’m going to ask her to marry me. Not right now, of course. Maybe wait a few months, let us all settle in and get used to life as a family: her, you, and me. But I’m so excited to ask her.”

You had to fight the smile that was threatening to creep onto your face. This moment was perfect, a beautiful beginning to a road that you never really saw yourself traveling. But you realized that even through all the hardships, the twists and turns, you wouldn’t have changed anything. Because all of that brought you here, to where you are now; the warm afternoon light basking you in its glow, your daughter wrapped up in the arms of her father, a man that you loved with your entire being sitting next to you. And in that moment, you were certain that you had never felt happier.

You had everything you could have wished for. Your love, Colton. And your life, Caroline.

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