#Cognisant
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Does anyone have recommendations for nice fun maths things to read?? Short textbook/expo paper or something of that ilk.
I've taken a bit of a maths break before starting my PhD which has been fab, but keen to get a bit back into it. Ideally something geometric (manifold topology >>) but open to anything cool. The papers my supervisor told me to read are not acceptable suggestions.
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Buddhism might not have seven deadly sins, but they do have ‘five poisons’.
Moha (मोह), Wúzhī (无知): Ignorance, Confusion, Bewilderment, Delusion
Rāga (राग), Yīliàn (依恋): Attachment, Desire, Passion, Greed, Lust
Dvesha (द्वेष), Fǎngǎn (反感): Aversion, Anger, Hatred
Māna (मान), Xūróng (虛榮): Pride, Arrogance, Conceit
Irshya (ईर्ष्या), Jídù (嫉妒): Envy, Jealousy
The first three are also known as the three poisons.
If traditional heavenly demons are hatred, and the crows are pride, that leaves delusion, greed/lust and envy.
Though with how crows steal stuff, I could also see just sticking to the OG three and making them Rāga instead, so there might only be one more heavenly demon type around.
Either way, a Moha based heavenly demon would be freaky. Whatever they look like, they’d probably bend reality, confuse people’s minds, or create illusions.
Actually sounds a bit like dream demons kinda… Meng Mo, secret heavenly demon who lost his body?
Wooooaaaah, that would be so cool - and I love the idea of Meng Mo being a heavenly demon, but one that's trapped and without his body, forced to leech off the energy of OTHER demons, those that were once below him. He has become what he hates the most - weak and forced to rely on others. I do feel like Airplane would focus the most on the dvesha (wrath) demons because...well, that's Binghe, but there are probably loads of notes on potential types of heavenly demons that were abandoned through time. Maybe Meng Mo was supposed to be a plot point about Moha demons and their lineage, but it was swiftly abandoned when the fans lashed out.
#four being a dumbass#crowyuan au#I wish I could keep yapping more#I am so so tired#gawd#guh#ect etc#but I'm doing better than I could be#siiiiigh#this is such an interesting concept#definitely one I'll be revisiting when I'm fully cognisant#and feeling like a human#so putting a pin in that#scum villain self saving system#ren zha fanpai zijiu xitong#scum villain#mxtx svsss#svsss au#svsss
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actually so evil how much of hal's internal world gets obliterated with the rewriting of his relationships with jessica and martin.
#hal jordan#empyrean posting#ok going in the tags because im not actually v confident in my understanding of his character. i read all of his 80s/90s stuff but forgot#90% of it but ANYWAY.#so much of him just does not make sense with how geoff johns characterises him and his relationships with his parents particularly the#parallax stuff simply because of how much his relationship with the guardians and their apathy/'betrayal' is influenced by hal's original#relationship with his dad. like at its heart it's pretty much the same dynamic in how hal blindly trusts and sort of idolises the guardians#despite their repeated infractions in hope of... something in return just as he had with his father and the abuse he suffered at martin's#hands. that's what makes his anger at the guardians make sense when it does show itself because the relationship parallel didn't stop there.#as with martin hal gets nothing for his devotion. he gets nothing for doing everything that's asked of him and more and it ends the same way#too: with a man in the sky burning like a newborn star. and you lose so much of that nuance and intrigue behind that if you just make#jessica the 'bad one' because!!! you cheapen it!!!!#the whole idea of hal is that he has his father's face but his mother's scars#(to me). in the sense that they both reacted to martin the same way with that cognisance of who he was as a man yet inability to pull away#because... love. both the love they had for him and the conviction that he did or could love them too. and jessica arguably did eventually#but also she didnt did she? because she held onto that notion of love till the very end. the few scraps she had she ballooned outwards until#they became the whole. but hal didnt have even that and he spent his whole life chasing it & running away from wanting it at the same time#like i think there's something so interesting to the fact that he had to be convinced that flying was what he wanted to do. how much of that#was touched by his father? the fear that he was already too much like him than he could bear to be? he already had his face now he had his#dreams and longing for the sky. how much more could he have before he began repeating the cycle?#and at the end he even had his father's death. burning in the clouds. like there's so much there and that's not even touching on how it#impacts his relationships with other heroes. not just in the sense of why did kyle clark and diana get to keep their close yet complex#relationships with their moms when hal had to lose his (although yeah why did they) but also just how he lets himself come across to them.#because it's on purpose right? that he lets them think his reflection of his father is born out of unadulterated love for a man worthy of it#? he has his father's job he wears his father's jacket he smiles his father's smile. what else are they supposed to think.#and isnt that interesting!!! that this man who is so committed to being good & just can lie so casually to people he thinks of as friends!!!#can you see how that might be his mother through and through!!! in how she might have glossed over the abuse to other people and herself!!!#can you see how in spite of it all he might want to be perceived as his father that paragon of masculinity and resent that he is not!!!#do you understand how everything he loves has been poisoned!!! im thinking of that scene where he tells bruce about watching martin die &#wouldnt it have been so much more interesting through this lens. how he is both revealing & obfuscating at once. i hate the change sm
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wait. What about hating Ivan? Do they have Ivan? Do you hate him? I do aprove french hatred though
It too me a while to figure out how to answer how I feel about Ivan. I'm gonna answer this by diving into Alfreds feelings about Ivan. It' definitely not hatered Alfred feels. Granted I hc that Alfred is not really good at hating or holding long term grudges against anyone. This is absolute projection on my part tho, since it takes around 30 minutes for any fort of strong negative feelings towards anyone to pass for me. Alfred is similar in that regard, though for different reasons (cough cough attention span of a goldfish).
As for Ivan, he can hold Alfreds attention and interest far longer than any other personification can. Ivan never treated Alfred as a dumb kid or a "young and ambitious startup". There was never any "Interesting idea boy, you'll grow out of it." sentiment from Ivan. Ivan may insult him left right and center on any topic of his choosing, but it's never demeaning and dissmisive towards Alfred as a person. And more often than not it's a debate on equal grounds. I suppose there is an aspect of mutual respect. A respect Alfred had to earn from the older nations by stomping on every single on of them. Yes Ivan certainly thinks Alfred is idealistic and even idiotic at times, but he isn't implying it in a dissmisive sense, but a dangerous one.
One could even say he was charmed by the idiot yank.
Arthur is definitely more intimidated by Ivan than Alfred is. Whereas Alfred sees "danger" and belly flops into it, Arthur calmly gathers his belongings and fucks right off out of the situation (at least after his empire days). Needless to say Arthur is not in agreement with Ivan most of the time. He knows what a nation would do to get on top and while ha can somewhat influence Alfred to not leave chaos and gore after him, Ivan is unpredictable and therefore scary. And that's exactly why Alfred is in fascinated, even captivated by his Cold War rival.
But no, I do not hate the character of Ivan. He is complex, interesting and needs developing on my part (maybe if ppl r interested but idk don't wanna force a character on my blog if ppl aren't interested)
François though, owes me hard cash. Financial compensation if you will.
Anyway here's a quick coffeeshop/kafić sketch since idk what to do with it
#i didnt wanna post anyhting ivan related for obvious reasons but i realized i was being stupid#hetalia is on thin fucking ice as it is#at least we try to be cognisant in this part of it#hetalia#hws rusame#hws russia#ivan braginsky#my headcanons#my art#myart#ask meli#hws america
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if i could add one appearance customisation option to the BG3 character creator - aside from body sliders, obviously, because the fact that the only available body types are "skinny" and "ripped" is stupid as fuck - if i could pick just one, it'd be different ear options. i want to give chanterelle comically large ears. i want him to look like a cartoon character. i also think you should be able to make catgirls, but that's unrelated.
#bg3#in general i like it when elf ears have a bit of personality#i think they should go back when the elf is upset and prick up when they are listening intently and so on. i think that'd be cute#fully cognisant that this reads like a hornypost but i refuse to self censor for the benefit of the masses . love
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I do think it’s a good sign he has Laurent, Bayer, Horner and Marko in his corner. Because yes they look at race results but also what hes doing in the team, feedback, his race story and pace etc. I think I may be overly optimistic though
I have to point out that Red Bull has been quite good at sticking up for their drivers publicly in the recent past, especially with the way Christian really stuck up for Checo last year during the worst of his underperformance. So I don’t know how much I’d read into that
BUT but maybe the fact that Marko, out of all people, admitted that they needed to give Daniel the car he needs is more telling than everybody else’s comments. This is the man who was slagging off Daniel for his quali performance a week ago to now him saying that — there truly must be something going on with his car
#it’s just that - yeah good that everybody seems to be cognisant to issues on his car#but it would mean nothing if they don’t find some solution soon enough#I know redbull and vcarb share sim facilities but would it be too much to ask them to#shut Daniel in the sim with Simon and let them sort it out together#if they could undo the damage of the McLaren era together what could they not achieve together?!?#anon ask
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look i know lots of people have said this but i think one thing that homestuck does well when it can be bothered to is allowing women to be fucked up and awful and complex and bizarre. like. even when they’re not the protagonists. even when they’re unsympathetic. even when they’re ambiguously the protagonists. even when they decide to make themselves the protagonists. yeah anyway this post is abt vris
#homestuck#jone.txt#saw another kipperlily post and like i think the reason why im not gripped by KL is that the narrative affords her zero sympathy or even#tolerance for wacky bullshit. like let her be a bit insane#d20 has a rly bad case of protagonist snydrome#and its even lampshaded by tectonya in the seven#so for them to never acknowledge it is like… just very poor writing on the whole#i like the bad kids just fine but in a story/genre that comments on itself reflexively#it only seems to do so when its convenient and the subject of a bit#making the story lack meaningful self awareness#characters only develop when the players interact with them due to the improvised nature/lazy writing#which means that npcs etc are generally not afforded complex inner worlds unless theyre player driven#its a pov lock without any cognisance of the implications of that pov lock#idk#ANYWAY sorry not to derail my homestuck post#im just thinking abt why KL is a vriska-like who fails at vriska-ness#like she hits the tumblr sexywoman of being controversy generating (read: due to misogyny plain and simple)#but not the vriska qualities of like. actually being afforded a complex inner world by the story#its not rly that the IH stomped on the values of the story its more like#the values of the story are bad. actually#flop!
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sometimes i wonder which of my mutuals think of me as like, a username they recognise, and which of my mutuals i am A Friend. would like to sit n play with our dolls with me.
#this isnt trying to me like. wahh tell me you like me as a person type shit#theres just been a couple of moments recently that have it on my mind#because i definitely have mutuals who i consider my friends in some way even if we never really interact outside of reblogs#theres people who are more than a usename to me#and im also sorta trying to be more cognisant of the idea that. people i hold in higher regard may not feel the same back#nyxtalks#idk if this makes sense to anyone who isnt me#it maybe doesnt make sense to me either#im just thinking about relationships and the impression i make#there are people out there that i am a name to. maybe even a personality. and i might never know that
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Re: he doesn't have a name
I was thinking about that while writing it, and I kept coming back to Cognisance, or Cog for short.
PERFECT
Nightmare!Baggs' name is now Cognisance
#I never name my own guys lmao everyone else have much better ideas#thank you again Wishing-stones!#wishing-stones#cognisance#nightmare!baggs#asks#megalosomnia
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LET'S MAKE MUSIC !!
#ableton is so fun fr fr#i am so filled w childlike wonder#its just like painting but imagine you've never painted or drawn b4 . like every stroke of the paintbrush would feel insane right . like ur#just Creating Lines And Colours and out of nowhere and slowly they take a cohesive shape even if the shape is . a shitty stickman#its still recognisable . like circle and 5 lines and boom suddenly you cognise this thing as the representation of a person#its like that . but even more crazy . like u just create arrangements in time and BOOM music . maybe bad music but still music#like i keep smiling . theres sm to discover !!! ableton has so many features whenever i change smth that changes the vibe im like :o#world is so glittery w noise n sound rn . yay
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Found this gem and now reading this (Yes Minister written as the minister’s journal): https://facultyweb.kennesaw.edu/uzimmerm/docs/Yes%20Minister.pdf
#No one wants to see the Tommy Churchill and Mosley fics this is so close to inspiring lollll a brand of humiliation better than sex#Churchill fully cognisant of and in control of the Civil service#versus Mosley and Tommy both coming at the concept of ‘government’ from the absolute wrong (if opposite) ends#Tommy learns: pick one issue within the paradigm and stick to it (social housing act)#Mosley’s narcissism cannot condone applying Tommy’s methods for becoming effective though#Adam (Tommy’s S6 aide) might need a bigger part#also the snide and very gay aide Quentin that I invented in melting point
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At least they're honest
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had a dream i went to a knitting club and baby trafalgar law showed up. still not free from the one piece dream curse i see
#this one was interesting because i was weirdly cognisant of the fact that i wasnt wearing a mask#i was like Hang on. we are all inside... maybe i should be wearing a mask#apparently i kept trying to sit in his seat and they were like no no this kid is gonna show up#also later in the dream not in the knitting club accidentally stole and ate someone elses donut (thought my family#had bought it). was getting chased by someone#stopped. turned around. and then THEY ran away from me
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WHAT IS YOUR LOUD PURPOSE TONIGHT IF NOT MONSTERS?? :3?
Oh right I was gonna actually make a whole post
I'll do it here
ODE TO THE ASEXUAL TRYING TO READ A STORY ABOUT FICTIONAL CHARACTERS WHO THE INTERNET THIRST OVER
under the cut is mentions of rape, abuse, NSFW topics, nothing in detail ofc but I'm irate
Tbh my brain rot is honestly Call of duty characters rn
Gaz is such a character I wanna play boardgames with idk what about him but he'd be so much fun, get some snacks and maybe pizza fuck it game night maybe invite Soap, those two are comedic together
Price seems like a good pick to read a book with, old man vibes he does not belong in the club let that fucker exist in a quiet moment
Ghost is such a prick. I love him and his stupid fucking mask but I do enjoy the guard dog privileges you'd get from walking around at night with him
That's how I feel about these fuckers
SO TELL ME WHY IS EVERY OTHER STORY UNTAGGED SEXUAL ASSAULT??? no read more, no tag, no warning just some hardcore shit every other post and then between that it's (consensual) sex and sex and sex people can we please not hyperfixate on a characters dick to the point they're so OOC they're like the abusers they canonically fear becoming?? (CoughcoughSimonRileyWhosDadWasLiterallyAnAbusiveBastardeWhoSimonHatesCanonicallyCouchcough)
And is the game itself propaganda? Yes
Do the black characters get treated with such disrespect both in game and online? (Gaz is literally a main character people) yes
Will I ever shell out a dollar to the game? No
Do I want writings that aren't focusing on only sex about these characters though? Fucking please God damnit!
Also, on the topic of untagged stuff, if something on my blog needs to be tagged let me know🤙
#letters of yearning#tw rape#COD has been my brainrot and these characters are downright treated disrespectfully like no babes i promise that chatacter literally wouldnt#they aint good but many have canonically been through really bad shit they wouldnt do the same when canonically they hate people who do that#military propaganda tho so we cognisant of that too
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sure maybe snow leopard touya immediately getting attached and covering you in his den bedding before either of you have even spoken a word is extreme to u but it is canon to me
#to his credit he is not fully cognisant and immediately very embarrassed but the embarrassment only makes him double down lol#sometimes I make a post and think wow this could be studied by psychologists like wtf am I talking about
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