#Coco I have to listen to the songs you sent me still but you were right on the mark with it being a case of

[toasteaa]

Last post about it because I know I'm getting annoying but I think both spirited away AND howl's moving castle both have had an extremely heavy influence on how much I think about dragons/other mystical brings having human forms and having their specific human that they love and care for. I know for a fact that's why I've fallen so head first into these thoughts and can't shut up about them as well LOL

[drabbles-mc]

One of Them Girls

Angel Reyes x Reader

Request by @lakamaa12: I have a request.. if you don't want to do it, no worries (or it's been done by another blog and I missed it).I was wondering if you would consider writing something with Angel based around the song One of Them Girls by Lee Brice?

(Part 2 can be found Here)

Warnings: language, alcohol, Angel being the cutie we know he is

Word Count: 3.5k

A/N: To the best of my knowledge, no one else has written an Angel fic for this song yet! If you have and I didn’t see it, my bad! But real talk I’ve been obsessed with this song lately and I wanted to write a fic for it so I’m super glad you sent this my way. Hope you enjoy! xo

Angel Taglist: @mayans-sauce @helli4nthus @angelreyesgirl @starrynite7114 @queenbeered @sincerelyasomebody @sadeyesgf @thesandbeneathmytoes @appropriate-writers-name @tomhardydallasstarsgirl @multiyfandomgirl40 @sillygoose6969 @beardburnsupersoldiers @louisianalady @gemini0410 @paintballkid711 @chibsytelford @yourwonkywriter @sesamepancakes @behindmyeyes-insidemyhead @plentyoffandoms @georgiaaintnopeach @twistnet @amandinesblogofstuff @garbinge @bucky-iss-bae @enjoy-the-destruction @encounterthepast @lilacyennefer @everyhowlmarksthedead @rosieposie0624 @mylittlelonelyappreciationtoo @mijop​ @xladymacbethx​ (If you want to be tagged let me know! xo)

Your roommate had been trying for months to get you to go to one of the MC parties with her. She knew them from working at Vicki’s and she swore that you would have a good time if you just came to the clubhouse with her.

“Just for a couple hours,” she pleaded as she stood in the doorway to your room, “and if you’re really not having a good time, we can leave and I’ll never bother you about it again. Promise.”

You sighed, leaning your head back against your headboard, “Fine. Just so you won’t bother me about it anymore.”

She beamed, “Yes! Oh this is gonna be so fun,” you could practically see the thoughts racing through her head, “Wear those skinny jeans that make your butt look good.”

You groaned, “You’re gonna dress me, too?”

She laughed, “It’s just a friendly suggestion.”

It was a suggestion that you begrudgingly took her up on. She really wasn’t that pushy about what to wear, but she knew that she was able to nudge you out of your comfort zone a little bit sometimes. You’d ended up with a simple, low-cut black tank top, the jeans she had suggested, and a pair of black boots. You weren’t going to risk snapping your ankle in a pair of heels when you didn’t know what you’d be walking into.

Elena may have been persistent, but she was a woman of her word. She stayed by you when you first arrived, knowing the scene was a little overwhelming when you first walk into it. You weren’t quite sure what you had been expecting, but this wasn’t quite what you had pictured in your mind. It was a little tamer, a little less chaotic than your brain had been telling you it would be.

“C’mon,” she tugged you towards the bar, “I’ll get you a beer.”

“Elena, who are all these people?” you asked quietly as you scanned the room.

She started pointing out the members of the MC one by one, telling you their names and a few fun facts about each. Some of the facts were a little more information than you cared to know, but she got you to laugh. Some of the girls you recognized because they’d come over and hang out at your apartment sometimes, and it was nice to know that you knew more than just one person at the party. They said there was power in numbers, right?

“Hey, querida,” a voice piped up from behind the two of you.

Elena turned, a smile instantly spreading across her face as she walked up to the man who had been speaking to her and letting him scoop her up in a hug, “Angel, hey!”

He set her down and his eyes found their way over to you. You felt small under the weight of his gaze but you tried not to let it show. He glanced back to Elena, “You brought a friend?”

She laughed, nodding, “Angel, this is my roommate, and best friend, Y/N. Y/N, this is Angel, the biggest pain in the ass in the MC.”

He placed a hand over his chest, an exaggeratedly pained expression on his face, “Right to my heart.”

The three of you laughed and you shook your head slightly, the nerves beginning to dissipate a little bit. You weren’t expecting him to plop down on the stool next to yours, but he did. You looked over to Elena, as if to ask if you should be worried about anything. She flashed you a smile as she sat down on the other side of you, giving your arm a light, reassuring squeeze as she reached for her drink.

“So what questionable decisions led you here tonight?” he asked with a laugh as he took a swig of his beer.

You laughed, shaking your head, “Just throwing Elena a bone. She’s been wanting me to come here with her for a while.”

“Didn’t want to be hanging out with a bunch of degenerates?” there was a playful smirk on his face.

You smiled, “More like I didn’t want to be hanging out with a bunch of people in general,” you laughed, “I’m a bit of a homebody.”

“I’m working on that,” Elena piped in with a smile.

The three of you sat at the bar and talked for a little while. You could tell that Angel was trying to get a read on you, the new girl. You couldn’t be mad because you were doing the same thing to him. He was smooth, flirtatious, but not overbearingly so. That was a game you’d be willing to play for the night while you pacified your friend. If you were going to be forced to socialize, there were worse people to look at while doing it.

Elena must’ve gotten the vibe from you, because she politely excused herself from the conversation, letting you know that she wouldn’t be far if you decided that you wanted to bail and go home. You saw the smirk tugging at her lips as she walked away though, knowing that you were having a much better time there than you’d ever admit.

“So I gotta know,” Angel asked as he idly toyed with the beer bottle in his hands, “how does a homebody like you end up rooming with Miss “Life of the Party” Elena?”

You laughed, trying not to stare at the way his ringed fingers traced and curled around the neck of his beer bottle, “We actually had a few classes together our first year in college,” you shook your head, “Nothing bonds two people together like suffering through statistics classes together.”

He chuckled, “Fuck that.”

“That was exactly how we felt.”

The longer the two of you talked, the more he tested his boundaries. He wasn’t pushy, or inappropriate, but he was definitely trying to figure out what made you tick. You weren’t going to give him that kind of satisfaction so quickly, though. You bantered back and forth with him, and you couldn’t remember the last time a guy had you laughing so hard.

Angel was in the middle of an incredibly cheesy pickup line that he swore has worked for him before when the song coming through the speakers changed. You couldn’t help but to perk up a little bit at the familiar beat and Angel noticed the shift immediately. He watched you for a moment as he tried to feel out the situation.

“Wanna dance?”

You shook your head no with zero hesitation, “No thank you.”

He laughed, “C’mon, why not? Live a little.”

You smiled but didn’t move to get up from your stool, “I’m sure there are plenty of women here tonight that would love to dance with you, Angel.”

He didn’t push the topic any further. You were smiling but he could see the flash of emotion in your eyes and he knew that there was something there that you weren’t ready to tap into yet with him. So, instead, he got you another beer and delved back into his cheesy pickup line story. When you realized that he was going to move past what you just said and not make it awkward, the tension immediately melted out of your body. You gladly took the beer bottle from him as you listened him ramble into another story.

“Yo, Angel,” Coco called from the pool table, “get over here. Bring your friend, we need two more.”

“You play pool?” Angel asked you, curious to your answer.

You shrugged as you hopped off the stool, “I mean I know how to.”

He laughed as he followed you across the clubhouse, “That’s not a super reassuring answer, querida.”

“Man, fuck him. You can be on my team,” Coco said with a laugh, “He and Gilly can fend for themselves.”

There was something reassuring and welcoming about the way that Coco spoke to you—like he had known you for years. He handed you your pool stick, smile still plastered onto his face. This wasn’t how you had originally pictured your night going, but you weren’t upset about it.

About halfway through the game, Angel was pissed that he didn’t try to team up with you. You and Coco were on a hot-streak and he really didn’t expect that from you. He shook his head as you sank another shot, and you had to laugh at the way that Coco was able to effectively gloat with just a simple look thrown Angel’s way.

“I mean I know how to,” Angel mocked you with a laugh as he shook his head, watching you line up to take another shot, “Can’t believe you fuckin’ hustled me.”

You laughed, “I don’t think you can call it hustling if there’s no money involved. You’re just mad because we’re about to whoop your ass.”

He chuckled and glanced over at Coco, “Don’t look so smug, Coco. She’s fuckin’ carrying you right now.”

The game wrapped up quickly with you and Coco both doing so well. Gilly had been more than content to sit back and watch it all happen, reveling in the fact that someone, and someone new at that, was kicking Angel’s ass at pool. Angel was shaking his head as he set his stick aside, still trying to figure out how all of that just happened. For someone who claimed that they didn’t like going out and doing things, you seemed to be full of surprises.

“Since I am a gracious winner,” you said with a laugh as you let Coco put your stick away, “I’ll buy you all a drink.”

Angel went to protest, not wanting you to be buying anything for any of them, but Gilly slapped his chest to stop him. The look on Gilly’s face made it very evident that no matter how cute the girl was, none of them were about to be turning down free drinks. Angel laughed, holding his hands up in mock surrender.

As the night wore on, slowly but surely people began to trickle out of the clubhouse. You hadn’t really talked to Elena since you got wrapped up playing pool with the guys, but the two of you kept an eye on one another. Every now and then she’d shoot you a look, one that asked if you needed to get out, and you would just shake your head. She’d smile, sometimes throw you a wink, before getting wrapped back up into whatever she was doing. You knew that she was just glad to get you out of the house and socializing with people.

You and Angel were sitting next to each other on the couch talking, keeping your conversation low in the midst of music and noise still filling the clubhouse. You were shaking your head at him as he told you about some of the scrapes he’d gotten into with his brother, someone that you knew you’d also love to sit and have a conversation with eventually.

Elena walked up and gave you a nudge, smiling when you turned to her, “Not trying to rush you, but I think a couple of the girls and I are gonna head out. You want me to bring you home before I go with them?”

Truthfully, you didn’t want to leave. But she was your ride, so it wasn’t like you were going to have much of a choice. Just as you were about to speak up and say you’d get ready to leave, Angel interrupted, “I can take you home if you want.”

You glanced back at him, arching one eyebrow, “Oh?”

“Yea,” he shrugged, smiling, “I don’t mind.”

Elena bit at her bottom lip, trying to fight back a smile, “You good with that, Y/N?”

You nodded, “Yea, I think so,” you laughed, “Worst case scenario I have pepper spray in my bag.”

“Jesus,” Angel laughed.

Elena shook her head with a grin as she leaned down to kiss your cheek, “Text me when you’re home. Love you.”

“Love you too. Text when you get to wherever the hell you guys are all going,” you chuckled.

“Will do,” she turned and hugged Angel, “Get her home safe, or I’ll beat your ass.”

He nodded, trying hard not to laugh because he knew that she was serious, “Yes ma’am.”

When she was gone and it was just the two of you again, things felt a little different. You suddenly became very aware of the way that his arm was draped over the back of the couch, his fingers almost brushing against your shoulder. Despite the number of people that were still in the clubhouse, it felt like it was just you two left. Everything else felt farther away.

“Can I ask where you’re from?” he leaned in a little closer to you and took a sip of his beer, “Because I feel like you’re not from around here.”

You smiled, shaking your head, “I’m not. I’m from the East Coast—came out this way for college,” you laughed, “Very cliché, I know.”

“Ah, you’re one of them girls, huh?”

“Who are them girls?” you chuckled.

“Had to get the hell outta dodge?”

You smiled and nodded, not really wanting to get into the details of your decisions, “Something like that.”

“You musta broke a lot of hearts when you left,” there was a smirk tugging at his lips.

You laughed, “Wouldn’t know—haven’t been back to find out.”

Somewhere along the line of your conversation, the two of you had gotten very comfortable. You had your legs pulled up underneath you as you leaned into him, his hand resting lightly on the nape of your neck. Every now and then when you laughed your hand would come to rest on his thigh for a moment or two before you pulled it back to your own body. He wasn’t bold enough to say it but he wished that you’d leave it there.

There was a brief lull in the conversation and you looked around the clubhouse, seeing that the two of you were some of the last people there. You checked your phone, seeing that you had gotten the safety update from your roommate almost an hour before and hadn’t noticed from being so enthralled with Angel.

“You got that look on your face like you gotta get going,” Angel said knowingly.

You sighed, “Yea, unfortunately I still have to go and do life stuff tomorrow,” there was a hint of laughter to your voice.

His thumb traced idly along the exposed skin at the base of your neck, “We can take the bike, if you want.”

You pressed your lips together for a moment, “I’ve never ridden on one before.”

He chuckled as he rose to his feet, helping you to do the same, “Something tells me you’ll be fine.”

The two of you walked out of the clubhouse, Angel’s hand settling on the small of your back. The chilly night air hit your skin and sent a chill through you. Without a second thought, Angel peeled off his sweatshirt that he’d put on and handed it over to you. You started to shake your head no but he wordlessly pushed the hoodie into your hands. You gave in with a smile, pulling it down over your head. It was warm, and you were practically swimming in the fabric, but you didn’t mind.

He let you use his helmet, and you settled behind him after climbing onto the bike. Your hands were lightly resting on his waist and he pulled your arms tighter around him, causing you to press flush up against his back.

“Don’t be shy, querida,” he chuckled, “For your own safety as much as anything else.”

You laughed, thankful that he couldn’t see the sheepish smile on your face as you let your body rest against his. The bike came to life underneath you and you nervously wrapped your arms a little tighter around him, and you could feel him laughing despite the fact that you couldn’t hear him over the noise of the bike.

Slowly you eased into the ride, your nerves subsiding a little bit. Angel must’ve felt the tension dissipating because he picked up the speed a little bit, causing you to laugh and tighten your hold on him. You knew that Angel knew the way to yours and Elena’s apartment, so you knew that he was taking the long way there. As much as you wanted to call him out on it, you didn’t want him to think that you minded. It was a peaceful, freeing feeling to be riding with him.

He rolled to a stop in front of your apartment building. You hopped off the bike, handing him back his helmet. The two of you stood there and you knew that he could feel the same type of tension in the air that you felt. For a night that you really hadn’t been looking forward to, it was the best time that you’d had in a while.

You went to take his sweatshirt off to give back to him but he shook his head at you, “Nah, keep it.”

“You sure?”

He nodded with a smirk on his face, “Yea. Just give it back next time I see you.”

You smiled, “Next time? Who said I’m coming back to the clubhouse?”

He laughed and shook his head, “Damn, you and Elena are both out to keep my ego in check, huh?”

“It’s good for you,” you shifted your weight from one foot to the other, trying to ignore the fact that you felt nervous, trying to figure out how to say goodnight.

“But really,” he stepped in a little closer to you, forcing you to tilt your head up slightly to look him in the eye, “I’d really like to be able to see you again.”

You managed to keep a straight face for a few seconds, just long enough to make him nervous. You could see him racing to try and come up with a follow-up statement to get himself out of being rejected, and you let yourself smile as you nodded, “I’d like that.”

He let out an audible sigh of relief, “Had me worried for a second,” he chuckled.

You laughed, shaking your head, “Can’t make it too easy for you.”

He smiled, “Can I have your number? Or do I gotta level up for that?”

You rolled your eyes as you held your hand out, “Give me your phone before I change my mind.”

He chuckled as he dug it out of his pocket and pressed it into the palm of your hand. He watched you intently as you plugged your number in, smiling as you handed it back to him, “This your real number? Or one of those rejection hotlines?”

You smirked, “Guess you’ll have to call me and find out. One time I gave some dude the number that would just play the John Cena theme song over and over again. That was…peak rejection.”

“That’s not exactly reassuring for me, you get that, right?” he laughed.

You smiled and shook your head, “It’s my real number, promise,” you stood up on your tip-toes and kissed him on the cheek, “Thanks for bringing me home.”

He couldn’t hide that he was surprised by the gesture. A huge smile spread across his face as he nodded, “Yea, any time.”

“Get home safe.”

He nodded, “I will,” he pressed a kiss to your forehead, “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight,” you crossed your arms over your chest, trapping the heat against your body as you watched him get back on his bike and strap his helmet on. He flashed you another smile and you waved him off.

You let out a small sigh of contentment as you turned around and made your way into your building. The walk up to your apartment seemed much shorter as you replayed the night over in your head. You turned the key in the lock and stepped in, glad to be home but simultaneously wishing that the night wasn’t over yet. You showered and threw your pajamas on, falling into your bed with a happy sigh. After shutting the light off and settling in underneath your blanket, your phone buzzed on your nightstand. You reached over to see who it was, and smiled when you saw a message waiting for you from a new number.

“Home safe. Sweet dreams” after a few seconds a second text came in, “It’s Angel by the way”

You chuckled as you typed out your reply, ‘Thanks for the clarification. Got worried for a second”

“Just tryna be sweet and you can’t let me have it, can you?”

“Nope” you were laughing in the quiet darkness of your room.

“Alright. Sweet nightmares then. Goodnight”

You could picture his face and you couldn’t stop smiling, “Goodnight xo”

You set your phone off to the side again, settling back down underneath your covers. Your body wanted to sleep but your brain was too busy replaying the entire night over again and you couldn’t stop smiling.

[cazimagines]

Soft boy picnic

Synopsis: You and Andrea take the day off to have a picnic within a field and enjoy each other's company.

Word count: 1.1k

Author’s note: This is just a small one-shot I came up with today as TikTok was showing me a load of Andrea edits and after hearing this song (which I listened to on repeat while making this as it is so Andrea) I had to write some fluff for him.

Warnings: None

Masterlist

(Please check out my master list to see what I will be writing next and if requests are open or closed)

Cross-posted to ao3 under the same username

The whisper of corn brushes up against your legs as his heated hand grasped yours tightly. Your legs moved quickly over the warm dirt, which sunk between your toes any moment you dare to stay still for more than a second. He didn’t allow you to however for his hand which clasped yours pulled you along as he ran through the field, letting out whoops of laughter from the pure bliss that coursed through him. The bright sun that lit up the morning sky with radiance, caresses your skin with its warmth. It wasn’t too hot to burn but sunny enough to bring comfort to you.

His eyes turned around to look at you, the sun casting upon his coco eyes making them gleam. His teeth flashed as his smile lit up his face and part of his hair cast a slight shadow over his forehead from where it hung loose.

Finally, he slowed down to stop moving, but his hand never left yours. Instead, he stepped closer to you, his other hand going to trail along your arm, stroking it gently. His eyes grew with intensity as his face came up to yours. His eyes glazed into your eyes in confirmation as his hand trailed up to your face, cupping your jaw. Placing his forehead upon yours, his nose brushed up against your nose briefly. His breath fanned out upon your face, the warmth cascading over you. His lips brushed against your lightly, then pulling back for just a second before pushing back onto you. Both your eyes flutter shut as gently his lips move against yours, displaying all the passion and love he felt, within himself for you.

As you two pulled away, he sighed in contentment, his long eyelashes fluttered against his cheeks, feeling joy rise within him as he sees the way your cheeks flustered from the kiss. “Piękny” he whispered to you, barely being heard from the whispers the wind made.

The wind made your skirt flutter in the wind, brushing up against your bare legs as the warmth from the dirt below you soothed your exposed feet. Andrea too wore no socks or shoes but slacks which were held by suspends pulled over his white shirt. In your hand, you carried a large basket, full of a blanket and food you had prepared for today when Andrea insisted on going out to the fields with you for a picnic.

You found yourself sitting upon the blanket, with Andrea’s head lying in your lap as you run your fingers through his hair soothingly. Occasionally you would reach over to grab some food, like a strawberry, and feed it to Andrea. He would always murmur thanks to you, placing a kiss upon your hand, one that occasionally lingered longer than a small kiss should.

Andrea felt like he could fall asleep lying in your lap, feeling your hands through his hair, and at times he did close his eyes making you believe so. But for now, he watched the sky, getting lost in the feeling of seeing it move before him, seeing as the clouds floated past and feeling connected to the earth and all of nature.

“Flower” he murmured, pointing up to one specific cloud which he thought resembled a flower. You hum in agreement, fixing your own gaze upon the sky to observe the clouds as they pass by.

“Cat,” you say, pointing to another one making Andrea smile. “I like cat”

“Feather,” he says again after a few minutes of silence as you both gaze up to the clouds. “Owl”

“Lips”

Your frown, attempting to look for a cloud that has the appearance of lips, but when you look down at Andrea you see his eyes solely rest on you. He lifts himself up off of your lap, kneeling beside you once again his lips only inches away from yours.

“Andrea” you chuckle at his boldness, causing his own cat-like smirk to appear upon his face as his hands rest upon your shoulders so he can steady you. He pulls your lips onto his again. His hands quickly move from your shoulders to holding your slides, his fingers briefly ghosting over your chest as he leans into your further, causing you to lie back and him to rest on top of you.

He pulls away from you, the smirk still upon his lips and your eyes widen as you realise exactly his plan. His fingers suddenly moved on your sides, tickling you and instantly you ruptured with laughter, your face scrunching up from giggling. You haphazardly tried to wriggle out of his grip but admitted defeat as Andrea made it clear he wasn’t going to stop tickling you. He was giggling cheekily himself watching you wiggle in his grasp and laugh because of him, making his heart race in pure joy.

“Kocham twój śmiech” he whispered when he finally relented and stopped tickling you. You still laid down before him, and as he looked down upon you, he raised his hand to smooth down the hair on your head tenderly, running his thumb along your forehead.

“I love you Andrea” you whisper to him, meaning every word.

“I love you to” Andrea whispered back, leaning forward to place a tender kiss on your forehead.

His arm wrapped around your side, with his body pressed against yours as his kisses moved from your forehead to your jawline, just beside your ear. You tilted your head for him to gain better access to you as you placed your hand upon the side of his face, holding him to you. The feeling of his lips upon your skin, gently caressing it as he pressed his kisses into you sent waves of pleasure throughout you.

You tilted your head further to the side where he laid a few kisses upon your neck, before going to try and capture your lips again. He twisted his body to reach them as your hand went to grasp the back of his head, curling your fingers into his hair. As his body twisted over you, you pushed at him till he laid before you, and you hovered over him. It didn’t stop however as his arms clung around your back, ensuring you were held tightly to him. He twisted his body again, making it so once again you were upon your back and he was on top of you.

Both of you giggled as you two continued to roll in the field, no care for any of the dirt you might get on your clothes as you were too enraptured by the closeness of your bodies, the desire and love between you to care about anything else.

Eventually, you stopped rolling for Andrea to lean back slightly, being able to take in your appearance whole. You both stared longingly at each other as his hand gently stroked your hair, a beautiful smile upon his lips as his heartbeat steadily.

The sun continued to shine upon you two as you melted into each others gaze, never wanting this perfect moment of love to ever end.

TAGS: @wonderwoman292 @justreadingficsdontmindme @thehuiabird@shrekboobies @arianalilyblack @handmaiden-of-mischief @zemosimp420 @kadeuuijib @lieutenantn @neoarchipelago @cable-kenobi @edencherries @faustlyaccused @julyvegan @prestigious-tea @hannahbal-the-fannibal @my-blood-is-maple-syrup @competitivepomegranate @welcometothemxdhouse @flutterskies @rumblelibrary @jeremyrennerfanxxxx123 @sky-writes-stuff @rhinestxn-e @davianos-blog @everythingbeginsineternity-blog @mywinterivy @bruhidaniel @the-webkinz-killer

[walkerwords]

“The Savior Sessions” Part 27 of 33 - Negan x GN!Reader

IMAGE CREDIT: AMC

SERIES MASTERLIST

Summary: A traitor in Alexandria is found when they attack one of their own. The reader holds an interrogation and with a new kind of resolve, makes their move against the enemy.

Word Count: 3973

Warning: Swearing, Graphic Description of Violence

Song I Wrote To: “Who Are You, Really?” by Mikky Ekko

Note: This one is a bit of a filler, but I had to touch on this particular storyline. I really wanted to show some development here with the MC and I really like it. Much more Negan in the next part!

————

The sickness wasn’t going away and you were getting nervous.

Along with the sudden illness that seemed to infect your friends and family, Alpha’s Walkers were still making their way towards the communities. Due to this, Gabriel had assigned more watch shifts as well.

With Michonne still at Oceanside, you were taking on more duties when it came to protecting the community. Aaron was still talking to Gamma, Daryl and Carol were still on edge, and you were just so damn tired of it all.

It took a lot of convincing to get you to stay inside the walls during the day, but so far, your search was turning up nothing. You couldn’t even figure out which direction Negan was travelling it, let alone if he was even travelling at all. He could be held up two miles away and you would never know. If there was one thing you knew about your man was that he was a lot smarter than people gave him credit for.

If he wanted to stay hidden he was going to do it.

You ran your thumb over the casing that hung around your neck as you thought about him. There had been moments during the war that you had watched him in your scope. While he had seen you before that fateful day in his cell, you had been watching him as well.

The first time you saw him after the clearing had been when he had strolled up to Alexandria with the caravan. You were sitting on the roof of Rick’s house, liking being up high when Spencer had opened the gate. While your rifle hadn’t been with you, you had a spare scope in the bag that was next to you.

Peering through it, you watched as Negan handed Lucille to Rick and sauntered through your home. When you had seen Daryl being led around like a dog, you had slipped around to the other side of the roof and slid down the drainpipe. As soon as your boots hit the ground, you followed the Saviors around, keeping one eye on Negan and the other on a very nervous Rick.

When Carl drew his gun in the infirmary, that was when you had headed up to the watchpoint. His men had checked you for weapons as you approached the platform but after a few well-placed glares, they let you up into your main roost.

You stayed there until the Saviors left. You had kept your back to them as they filed out, but you could feel their eyes on you, especially Negan’s. You didn’t want to speak to him or even acknowledge him, but you wanted them to see that someone was always going to be watching and protecting Alexandria.

You proved this point later in the war when you would take out Negan’s own men from your hiding places. Your job had been to instil fear and you were good at it. However, now, it seemed that Alpha was turning the tables on you and you were not happy about it.

It was well into the night when you were heading home as Scott took over your shift. Walking towards your house, you noticed a figure moving around Rosita’s. Considering nobody should have been going inside with Rosita being under the weather, you got suspicious.

Ducking into the shadows of the house, you watched as Dante slipped into the house through the back door. Your brow furrowed at this. Dante was Siddiq’s second, he didn’t need to slip inside, he was always invited.

Your instincts kicked in then. Dante was a great doctor, but something had always bothered you about him. He was apparently found wandering around and in need of help. While you and the others were always looking for new doctors, he seemed almost too willing to be helpful. Even more so than Siddiq had been when Carl had found him.

“What are you up to?” you whispered as you found the South watchpoint and climbed up the rickety ladder. Nobody used it that much besides you and Rosita. It was also freshly repaired from when the tree had come down the year before. Pulling yourself up onto the narrow platform, you pulled your handy scope from your pocket and angled it at the house.

You weren’t what you were looking for, but you needed to settle your suspicions. While you didn’t have your rifle anymore, the scope still never let you down. Scanning the house, you watched as a light turned on in the upper window. Turning towards it, you saw Siddiq standing in what you knew to be one of the storage rooms of the house and where he kept some of his medical supplies.

Siddiq was just standing at the window and as you peered at him, he seemed to be incredibly nervous. Suddenly, his eyes locked onto yours through the scope. His kind eyes widened in fear and then you jumped as two hands grabbed him from behind and pulled him back into the room.

You didn’t hesitate to slide down the ladder and pull your weapon. Bursting into the house, Rosita, who was sleeping on the couch woke up in a jolt. Coco was next to her in her small carrier. “(Y/N)?” Rosita asked.

“Stay here with Coco!” you ordered as you ran up the stairs. You didn’t know if Rosita was actually listening to you, you just had to get to Siddiq.

Taking the steps two at a time, you finally made it to the second floor. Sprinting down the hall, you shoved your shoulder into the final door and broke it down.

Dante was on the ground with Siddiq in a headlock and he was fading fast. Dante looked at you in alarm as you ran towards them and aimed a kick at his jaw.

Dante moved just before your boot could make contact, letting Siddiq go. You went to strike Dante again, but he threw himself at you, slamming you into the wall. Catching your breath, you grabbed him by the shoulders and slammed your head against his, disorienting him.

Grabbing his arm you twisted it behind his back, trying to dislocate his shoulder, but Dante swung his leg out, sending you to the ground. He straddled you, placing his hands around your throat.

Your throat burned as the pressure increased, but then Dante screamed in pain as Siddiq slashed at his leg with a scalpel. You took the opening to knee him in the groin. Rolling to your knees, you grabbed him by the neck and slammed his head into a nearby table. He went down again, but then grabbed your ankle, slamming his palm into your knee.

As pain exploded in your leg, Dante got to his feet. He went to grab you again when you remembered a move that Jesus had taught you years ago. Using his own momentum against him, you pulled him forward into your space. As he fell into you, you ducked underneath him and pushed him over your shoulders. Dante crashed into the wooden desk, splitting it in half.

Picking up your fallen blade, you moved and levelled it at his throat as blood trickled down your neck from the superficial head wound you had sustained.

“Don’t. Move,” you spat through a split lip.

“It was him,” Siddiq choked. “He...made...me watch.” It took less than a second for you to realize what Siddiq meant. Dante had been the one to hold open Siddiq’s eyes and then Enid’s as Alpha murdered your family. Dante chuckled from his spot on the ground. “He...poisoned the water, too,” Siddiq said, coughing.

“You son of a bitch,” you swore as you brought your pommel down on his temple and knocked him out.

-------

Rosita arrived soon after the commotion had settled. 

Pausing in the doorway of the adjoining room, her daughter was in her arms as she peered into the room. You were tying up an unconscious Dante as she glared down at him. 

“He’s out cold,” you told her and that’s when she rushed forward to Siddiq who was finally breathing a bit better. He reached for his daughter immediately and pressed a kiss to her head, holding her close. Rosita pressed her forehead against his as the two parents had a family moment with their child. 

Daryl arrived a moment later. You figured that Rosita would have called for him. “Help me get him up,” you said to Daryl who grabbed the man by his shoulders as you took his legs. 

“You’re bleeding,” Siddiq said from the ground. 

“I’ll be fine,” you said through gritted teeth as you carried Dante from the room and back down the stairs. 

“(Y/N),” Daryl said, “how did you know?” 

“I had a bad feelin’ and I followed it,” you said as Daryl kicked open the door. “He’s a fucking Whisperer, D.” Daryl looked down at the man in his arms with disgust. “He helped murder Tara, Henry, and the others. Alpha did this, she sent a wolf into Alexandria.” 

“She ain’t gonna get away with this,” he said.  You agreed which is why you were more than happy to throw Dante’s traitorous ass into the cell. However, first, you needed to clean it out. 

Negan’s things, the things you had given to him were still on his bunk and in the corner. You quickly packed everything into a blanket and dragged it from the cell. Then, Daryl shoved Dante into the cell and locked the door. 

Needing a moment, you hauled everything in your arms back to your house. You stumbled a bit from the headache that was forming behind your eyes, but you pushed on. Pushing open your front door, you dragged yourself towards the bedroom on the ground floor.

As soon as you made it to the guest room, you fell to the floor as the lightheadedness took its toll. Reaching around the back of your head, you were glad to see that the bleeding had stopped, but it was still tender. 

You didn’t know how long you sat on the floor. It could have been minutes or hours before footsteps came down the hall. Looking up from the stained carpet, you saw Siddiq walking towards you. “You need to be resting,” you said, wiping at the dried blood on your neck. 

“And you need to get that wound looked at,” he said hoarsely.

“You were just attacked, Siddiq,” you reminded him. 

“And you just saved my life so shut up and let me help you,” he said as he helped you to your feet. You both leaned on each other as you made your way into the kitchen. You made him sit down first so you could grab the first aid kit a bowl of water that you poured from an uncontaminated canteen. He obliged but then got to work as soon as his tools were in front of him. 

“How did you know it was Dante?” you asked as Siddiq used a wet cloth to wipe the blood off your skin. 

“He did this...clicking thing with his tongue in the barn. I heard him doing it earlier tonight,” Siddiq explained softly. “I put the rest together.”

“I should have realized something was wrong,” you said. “That’s my job.”

“Nobody has been in the right mind for a while, (Y/N)” he reminded you. 

“I’ve been too distracted,” you said, that guilt coming back, but now it was accompanied by pure anger. 

“You have to stop blaming yourself for everything,” he whispered as he grabbed a needle and thread. “This is going to sting.”

“I’m used to it,” you said, tightening your hands into fists. 

“You seem to be used to a lot,” he said. 

“I’m not going to let him get away with any of this,” you promised. “Dante is going to tell me exactly what I want to know, no matter what I have to do to get it out of him.” 

Siddiq snipped the final thread on the small wound and wiped it once more before bracing his hands on your shoulders. He leaned his head on your back and you could feel a slight tremor as he let himself feel his fear again. 

Reaching back, you gripped his arms and let yourself cry with him. Everyone had a breaking point and for so long you and Siddiq had been pretending that you were okay. Neither of you could do that anymore. Turning around, you grabbed him into your arms and he held you back, resting his head in the crook of your neck. 

“Thank you,” he whispered and at that moment all you could do was nod and grip your friend tighter. In the back of your mind, Carl’s face was a shining light as you saved the one he had sacrificed to save and that only made you cry harder.

--------

It was the next morning when Daryl came to find you.

Dante had been under watch all night in the cell. Eventually coming too, Gabriel had made sure he was still breathing before letting him rot alone in the concrete box.

Now, it was time for answers.

“I need you to talk to him,” Daryl said as he leaned in the doorway of your bedroom. You were tying up your boots as he spoke.

“I figured as much,” you said with a roll of your eyes. “I am way ahead of you, Daryl.”

“I was ready to start breakin’ bones, but Gabriel doesn’t think it would be helpful,” he explained.

“Not with someone like him,” you said. “Alpha’s broken him in ways that we’ll never understand. No kind of pain is gonna make him talk.” Getting to your feet, you grabbed your blade and hooked it on your belt.

“Which is why I need that brain of yours,” he said. Thinking back to when you and he had been interrogating Lydia, you smirked.

“You want my psychological warfare, huh?” you asked, sitting into your hip. Daryl nodded.

“You up for it?” he asked.

“If it gets me to his leaders, I’ll do anything,” you said, passing by him in the doorway.

As you walked towards the cell, you noticed Carol sitting on the stoop of Michonne’s house. She looked livid and you understood why. You also figured she was trying to keep her distance so she didn’t end up slaughtering the monster in the cell below.

Dismissing the guards out front, you headed into the jail and a sense of deja vu cascaded over you. This was not how you wanted any of this to go. The jail cell had become less negative over the past year, but now a true enemy sat behind the bars and it only fueled your rage.

“I need to do this alone,” you said to Daryl who was waiting in the doorway.

“Are you sure?” he asked.

“Positive,” you responded. He nodded and then left the room, shutting the door behind him.

“You got a mean kick,” Dante said as soon as it was quiet.

“Too bad your head wasn’t harder,” you said, stopping in front of the bars as you crossed your arms. “Give me one reason why I shouldn’t cut your throat from ear to ear.”

“I don’t have one,” Dante said. “I don’t care what happens to me, you people have already lost everything.”

“I don’t agree,” you said simply. “You and your...people, don’t know the first thing about me and mine.”

“You have won many battles and many fights,” Dante said. “You think you’re some sort of gods, right?” Shaking your head, you sneered at him.

“If divinity was real, there is no place for it in this hell hole of a world. Stop trying to flatter me and tell me where Alpha is.”

“I don’t know,” Dante said as he sat up straighter on the ground. “That wasn’t part of the deal.”

“What deal?” you asked.

“My Alpha asked me to do a job and I didn’t question it. That’s how it works in the pack.”

“Your pack is a bunch of soulless monsters that need to be put down,” you sneered.

“What’s wrong with monsters?” Dante asked, grinning in the low light of the cell. There was still blood on his teeth and it made your stomach turn. “I thought you liked monsters? Aren’t you in love with one?”

“You don’t get to speak about him,” you ordered.

“He left you,” Dante said. “Siddiq told me all about the man called Negan. He told me who he was and why he was dangerous.” Dante moved closer to the cell door, nearly crawling on his knees. “What makes him so damn different from me? From Alpha or Beta?”

“You listen to me, you sick son of a bitch, Negan is nothing like you. He is a good man and if you don’t start telling me some fucking truth, you are going to be a dead one.”

“I just know that Alpha would love you,” Dante said and red began to shimmer around the rims of your eyes. “Tell me, (Y/N), do you thirst for blood? Do you crave to feel Beta’s life leave his body?” You were silent, but he could see it, the truth in your eyes. “Ah, you do,” he whispered.

“Don’t act as if you know me,” you said. “We are nothing alike and I will kill Beta but it will not because I’ll enjoy it, but because he deserves it.”

“And what do you deserve?” he taunted, getting to his feet. His hands wrapped around the bars, shoving his face in the space between the iron. “What are you afraid of, (Y/N)? Are you scared of me?” he asked and then something occurred to him. “No, no, that’s not it. You’re not scared of anyone, but you are scared of yourself.”

You lashed out, grabbing him by his shirt and slamming him against the bars. He went down hard and you pulled the key from your belt. You didn’t hesitate to unlock the cell door and rush inside. Dante was spitting up blood from the impact as you kicked out at him.

“You know nothing about me,” you growled at him as you pulled your sword and slammed it into his chest. Dante’s eyes went wide as your blade entered his heart, but you didn’t stop. “You will die miserably and you will never walk with your Guardians,” you spat at him. “I will find Alpha, I will find Beta, and I will kill them. Nobody will remember you and nobody will care that you’re gone.”

Pulling your sword, you let the warm blood drip on his dying body. “I’ll send Alpha your regards,” you finished as you shoved the tip of your sword through his eye, killing his brain instantly.

Everything around you felt as if it were slowing down at that moment as you withdrew your sword from the dead body. Blood was streaked down the blade and it was flecked on your clothes from the arterial spray. Looking down at Dante, you could barely feel anything as you turned away from him and left the cell.

Your body moved on autopilot as you pulled the main door open and walked out into the bright sunshine. Swinging your sword up onto your shoulder, the red blood glinted off the blade. Ignoring everyone who had come running down the road, you pushed past them as you moved into the meeting hall

Daryl watched as you moved through the streets of Alexandria and just as he saw you on the beach with your sword, the way you walked with the blade on your shoulder was all too familiar.

————

“I have an idea,” you said once the leaders convened in the meeting hall. Lydia had joined you, sitting next to you. She seemed almost concerned as she looked at you, but you soon reached out and smoothed a hand over her hair, calming her. She relaxed soon enough.

“Does this one involve killing another hostage?” Aaron argued, but you just narrowed your eyes at him.

“Aaron,” Daryl said cautiously.

“He needed to die,” you said simply. “He poisoned our water, lied to us, and tried to kill Siddiq. Who knows what would have happened if I hadn't been there. He could have gone after Rosita or her child.”

“We know, (Y/N),” Daryl said, but you were shaking your head.

“I don’t think you do,” you said. “Alpha has been playing dirty since day one. It’s time for us to send a message back to her and her people.”

“What did you have in mind?” Gabriel asked. Looking at all the faces in the room, your eyes landed on Carol’s who was trying to figure out what was going on inside your head. However, you weren’t even sure if you knew yourself.

“It’s something I have to do alone,” you said. “And I’m going to need Dante’s body.”

———-

You had now grown accustomed to the smell of blood and decaying flesh.

Living in the new world, it was a constant in life, but even more so now, the scent followed you around. However, right now you welcomed it.

Moving through the dark, you dragged a makeshift sleigh behind you. On it, lay Dante’s decapitated body.

When you had told Daryl what you planned to do, he was worried about you, but you were done with the kid gloves. If Alpha wanted to play dirty, that is exactly what you were going to do.

Arriving at the Southern border, you scanned the area for any Whisperers, but so far it remained quiet. Dropping the reins on the sleigh, you took the other bag you carried and removed your other prize.

Dante’s head stared up at you with vacant eyes. You frowned at the rotting flesh as you took it and placed it on one of the pikes that made up the barrier. Blood and gore trickled down the wood, but it did the job.

Going back to the sleigh, you pulled Dante’s body off and lay it at the base of the pike, letting the body crumple to the ground. Finally, from the sleigh, you took the torches Daryl had made for you and hammered them into the hard ground.

Lighting them with a flick of a match, they lit up the boundary like a bloody beacon. Staring at the statement you made, you felt a swell of power in your gut. Looking past the boundary and towards wherever Alpha was held up, you let the fire illuminate your eyes.

“You’re not the only ones who can play with fire,” you said to the darkness before turning and walking away from the border, letting the flames speak for themselves.

——————-

When you arrived home, you didn’t speak to anyone.

Daryl was watching you from the doorway of Michonne’s home, but you ignored him. Still covered in blood, you made it to your house and into the garage. Dropping your sword on a workbench, you grabbed a cardboard tube from behind a stack of old chairs.

“What are you doing?” Lydia asked as she entered the garage. You just popped the top on the tube and pulled out three large sheets of paper. The maps of the area were something you had found in Deanna’s house before the Saviours attacked. You were very grateful for them now.

Lydia joined you as you spread the maps out on another bench. She looked down at them with a furrowed brow. You looked up at her and with determination in your eyes, you said, “We’re going to find Negan,” you said. “Then, we’re going to find your mother and her attack dog.”

Lydia was quiet for a moment before pushing up her sleeves and nodding. “Where do we start?”

TAGS: @lucillethings @cameronsails @stark-dreams @amaroho @thanossexual @yes-sir-hotchner @boom-bunny @delusionalteenagewhispers @scootankle @ritajammer21 @writteriguess @tea-atfive @jennydehavilland @waspyyy @yespleasejayhalstead @hoemadegrace @writingdeadangel @huffledor-able541 @pulplorrd @felicisimor

[skzfairies]

are you mine? lee felix

fluff, sad ending

felix + gender neutral reader

song to listen to: make you mine- public

an au where if you hold you’re soulmates hand, you will travel to both of you’re happiest memory’s location together. if you don’t travel anywhere, it was not meant to be.

felix and you were best friends ever since felix moved into the house next to yours in eighth grade. you clearly remember seeing him struggle to carry boxes from you’re front yard where you were playing chalk. you will never forget the cute dust across his freckled face when he met your gaze, and his out-grown brown hair, that kept on covering his eyes.

you both met after felix’s mother sent him to bring over brownies, you both clicked after seeing you were wearing matching minecraft shirts, and invinted him in to make a world with you.

everyday after school, you would both walk home together, and you would play minecraft for hours until the other was called home.

over time, the tradition changed, you started getting boba after school, going to study, or the gaming cafe. you would still play minecraft together when you were feeling nogalistic.

today, you decided on going to the boba shop, even though it was raining and you both should have rode the bus, but felix had pleaded you to buy him some. you weren’t able to resist his big brown eyes, as always ( you will never admit that you adore his puppy eyes), you agreed and began the route.

felix had the umbrella covering you’re heads, it wasn’t too small, so both of you weren’t squished together. although you slightly wished it was, so you could experience the romantic and cheesy rain scene from k-dramas felix watches religiously.

you loved those days, where you and felix could just lay in the other’s bed after a long day of school, and pick a lame k-drama to watch, you never really liked them, but felix had the biggest smile when there was something slightly romantic on the screen. you would do anything to see his smile.

without realizing it, you observed felix’s features on his face, you could only see his brown eyes and his eyebrows, the mask he was wearing covering his beautiful freckles. they were so faint but so beautiful. felix wouldn’t be felix without his freckles.

you wondered if this boy knew how beautiful he was. you wondered if he saw himself the way you see him. beautiful, gorgeous, and all the compliments under the sun.

you returned you’re gaze to your fingers, who absently-mindlessly played with the loose thread on the hoodie you borrowed from felix a few weeks ago and kept forgetting to give back.

it smelled just like his cologne. felix was never one for strong “manly” cologne’s. he smelled like hot coco, he smelt like home.

you could never tell felix you’re true feelings. you somehow knew that you weren’t soulmates. and you always hated the universe for not having the one you love so much be your soulmate. you wished that the stars in the black sky were on your side, just this one time.

you had to accept the reality though. and maybe you were okay with that.

“hey, wanna listen to music” felix softly asked, his eyes crinkling, and you imagined the beautiful smile that was hiding behind the mask. his voice brought you out of your trance.

you awkwardly chuckled, embarrassed that he caught you staring.

“um..sure, i guess..”

you mentally face palmed yourself, that sounded so awkward and cringe, you sounded like a teen who was being forced to order by their mom.

felix, of course, did not let your awkward tone slip.

“is everything alright, bubs?” felix questioned. of course he was worried about you, he was perfect. a ball of sunshine.

“yeah, i’m fine! i promise!” you had to fake your cherry tone, and even held out your pinky for a pinky promise.

felix looked down at your extended pinky, and laughed as he shaked his head at your childish behavior. he still linked your pinkies though.

a few minutes passed, you still had a long way to get to the boba shop.

you were beginning to feel antsy, should you ask to hold felix’s hand? should you ask if he likes you?

“no, he’ll just think that your a weirdo and leave me by myself in the the rain.” you thought.

but felix would never do that, he’s too nice, and caring and-

“felix, have you ever, um, had feelings for me?”

your mouth reacted before your brain did, and you regretted asking that question so much. you would take it back if you could.

you weren’t expecting his response.

“yeah, i did, when i first moved, i think.”

felix slightly giggled, thinking about he had an embarssing huge crush on you in middle school, and how he swore you were his soulmate.

“did you?”

felix was looking at you now, he could feel the nervous aura radiating off of you.

“um, yeah, well, i do now, i think..”

you barely even said it, it was like a wisp of air, felix barely caught it.

but he did.

he heard you, and you wished he didn’t.

it was silent for awhile, both of you were lost for words. you watched as the rain bounced off of the puddles in the cracked sidewalk, thinking that this was probably the last time that the two of you would walk to the boba shop together. yesterday would be the last time you both played minecraft on felix’s old couch. the very last.

out of nowhere, felix grasped your hand.

his hands were soft, slightly cold from being in the harsh rain, you wanted to hold this hand for the rest of your life.

you waited, for you to transport to your favorite place, where you both are happiest together.

but it never came.

you looked at both of your hand intertwined, it was a sight of a dream, a dream you could never have.

the tears slowly ran their course down your cheeks, landing directly on the hands of a lover and an ex-lover.

“how was i supposed to know that you weren’t the one.”

[sweetestreyes]

Farsante (Angel Reyes)

Request: hey girl! i was wondering if you could do something angsty with coco or angel, like maybe reader and (whoever you chose) have a long history but things never worked out in their favor so now they have to deal with the baggage that comes from that? i really hope that makes sense

a/n: THIS IS PURE and long ANGST. That’s all i have to say... i got carried away so you can take a look at my very dramatic side

Inspired by the song El Farsante by Ozuna

Check out my masterlist. Requests for mayans mc are open ↴

MASTERLIST | Join my group chat here (taglist)

It all started when you came back to Santo Padre to spend the holidays with your parents. After two long years of college, you finally managed to schedule a visit to your hometown. Your friends convinced you to have girl’s night at a small bar downtown, and the least you expected was to end up having drinks with a group of strangers, which you later found out they were the Mayans, the infamous MC your dad told you to avoid at all costs since you were a teenager. But here you were, sitting at a table surrounded by half-drunk men who weren’t as dangerous as everyone told you they were.

You spent the last two months going out with the club, especially Angel who made it very clear from the start that he liked you, but you were hesitant to even talk to them since your father constantly told you how the Mayans were a treat to this town, breaking the peace of Santo Padre. Truth be told, you liked him too and you weren’t willing to stay away from him since you diddidn’t know how long it will take for you to be back at town.

So there you were, sneaking out with him every night for the rest of the summer on long motorcycle rides or just sitting at an empty park to be close to each other... Angel was your first everything and it was perfect, you loved each other and you understood what your mom said: “It’s about connection, not time”.

However all good things have and end and you left town to go back to college at the end of your vacations. Both of you were devastated, but made a promise to stay in touch and you did so, texting each other constantly and having long conversations at night just hearing about each other’s problems and preoccupations.

And when you had to leave college because your mom illness was way too expensive, Angel was by your side every single day when he could, holding you close and whispering in your ear that your mom was a strong person. But it all went down when your dad saw you two kissing outside the hospital: the night it all went down to pieces.

Angel ended up with a big bruise on his cheek and a black eye while your father angrily yelled at him.

“You star away of my daughter or I’ll call the fucking cops and fill a restraining order! I’m not letting you corrupt her with your nasty club shit!” Dad said, every word more poisoned than the previous one.

Angel face went red. Covering his cheek, his free hand was clenched and his knuckles turned white, containing himself to not say something disrespectful to the man in front of him.

“I love her, and i’m not staying away because she loves me too”. Angel’s voice was pure anger, but somehow, he managed to stay calm. And you knew he only did it because you were a crying mess overwhelmed with the situation.

“I’ve warned you”. That’s all you old man said before gripping your wrist tightly and dragging you across the parking lot.

He gave the talk about “how bad would be for someone like you to be with an outlaw like him”, but you didn’t listen any of it, already planning a way to escape with the man you loved.

Contrary of what you imagined, you could barely go out, not even when mom was back at home. You were living in a prision, no cellphone, no computer and no way to get out. You were suffocated, not handling the situation anymore. So one night you escaped, just like that.

Driving your dad’s car and parking a few blocks from Angel’s house, you knocked on the door and the surprised look on his face made you smile, tears falling down your face as he hugged you tightly and let you in.

“I want to be with you, mi amor” He kissed your forehead, hands gripping your hips tightly. “But no matter how much I love you, i’m bad for you and you know that. Maybe your dad is right”.

“Bullshit” The exclamation left your mouth with anger. “You don’t get to make that fucking choice Angel”. You both were now standing up, facing each other.

“But I can make that choice for myself, and I want you to leave”. His voice was serious and you couldn’t believe the words he was saying. You scolded him, pushing his chest slightly to make him fall on the sofa.

And just like that you ended up wrapped between his body and the sheets on what you didn’t imagine it would be you last night together.

You left the next morning without a previous warning. It was unexpected but necessary as you had to take care of some paperwork to be able to resumen you college year without any problem, and you couldn’t miss the opportunity of that scolarship since it was the monetary help you needed in that moment. You felt guilty of not having the opportunity to say goodbye to Angel, so you texted him the news and promised to call him at night... but he never answered. Not that day, not on weeks and neither the next few years.

You lost count of the nights you spent crying over him and his sudden lack of response. You couldn’t wrap your head around the idea of Angel ignoring you, tossing you like a piece of trash. It couldn’t be, you didn’t want to believe it.

But you didn’t know his side of the story. It took all of him to not respond those texts and calls, he spent the nights looking at the pictures you sent him and how happy you looked. And that kinda reminded him of his brother... a brilliant person who ended up not having the future he deserved because a thoughtless bad decision. For Angel, you were in the same situation and he felt that you being with him compromised your future, that maybe he was that thoughtless bad decision that would make you lose the good path. Angel didn’t want that for you, he wanted you to be happy even if that meant that he had to stay away from you.

Somehow you remade your life without him on it. You missed him everything, there wasn’t a day when that his name and face didn’t crossed your mind. Years felt longer than ever and there still was a small hope in your chest that once you were back in Santo Padre, things would be good again, just like that summer.

But that didn’t happen.

When you stopped by Reyes’ butcher shop, EZ and Felipe were there, but was Angel and you catched a glimpse of a woman behind him. Your face went blank when she appeared in front of you, revealing her pregnancy with a smile.

“(Y/N)?” Angel asked with a shocked expression.

“I was passing by and...” You couldn’t even talk. The woman gave you a confused look and introduced herself as Adelita, Angel’s partner. “Sorry, I just wanted to say hi”. And with that, you left, leaving everyone behind as the tears streamed down your face.

“Is she okay?” Adelita asked. Felipe looked at his older son with a shocked expression on his face.

“Let’s go for a walk, come on Ezekiel”.

Angel stood there, his heart pounding in his chest with the speed of light, his mind still processing the look on your face and the fact that you were back in town, he always thought you would hate him by now, but no, you came looking for him and that broke his heart.

He always thought that being with someone else would be enough to erase your memory.

And when he saw you again, he understood that if you still loved him like before, nothing seemed to be interesting for him anymore.

He lost you and he couldn’t do anything about it.

[miumoou]

My Life In a Nutshell ~ Chapter 1

Dazai X Reader 💞

It was a usual morning. 

I woke up and attended my 3D modelling class. It was 9am and I almost fell asleep as I was waiting for my turn to speak up. As much as I loved to 3D model this class felt like I was imprisoned by expensive high quality bars of iron. It was a fancy experience where I lost my freedom. All of a sudden I heard my name "[Y/N]! Are you even listening to me? You'll never pass like this!" My face turned into a pale soulless expression as I watched my teacher speak such words. I showed him what I had done and rushed back to my bed grabbing on tightly to anything that I could grab onto like my pastel blue dinosaur plush Coco, my pillow and my messy blanket.

"I don't want to feel like this but I just can't stop...no matter what I I could never satisfy anyone...if only...just only I could escape..."

I gently reach out for my phone and search 'Dazai Clips'on YouTube. My mouth line curves upwards as I see his brown soft hair, those immersing eyes and those bandaged arms which love to wave around. Then suddenly a clip of him singing his favourite song turns on. I laugh as my friends pass by my room. I hear my friend shout out "What's so funny at 10am [Y/N]?"... I put my hand near my mouth "Oh its nothing it's just....it's just my favourite boy from my favourite anime" I continue smiling up until the point where I hear my friend say "Oh haha of course... well I'm off to see my boyfriend at his place see ya!"...My mouth line all of a sudden became straight as my heart sunk just a little bit. "Yeah have a good time" I smiled but really I'm lonely. I've been trying to find someone for me but it never turned out well. Once I liked this guy who was rather similar to me. Whenever our eyes would meet time would freeze and I know I know that sound's cliché but for real it was like that. It was not a fantasy but a reality up until everything went wrong. I miss him but I know that he would be here if he loved me the way I loved him.

Now I just sit around here trying to distract myself with anything that I can. I've got several hobbies. I love to draw. Animals, characters, anything really it just makes me happy. I've even managed to create a whole world filled with characters with my friend. And I must say my character Ace is one heck of a man haha. I also adore fashion. Like putting together outfits from the clothes I own its so fun! I would recommend it to anyone who would love to try it! Photography is great too. I often go out for walks at the beach to capture moments to show to my parents later. I just love seeing their genuine smiling faces as they look through the photos. It fills me with a warm feeling inside where I feel like I can do anything at the moment that's how happy I get. My parents are the ones who have been here for me since forever and it breaks my heart how they have to see me in that state where I feel like I shouldn't be in this world... They've done so much to keep me happy and yet I easily go back into that state.

Finally I also simply love listening to music and editing music videos. Music makes me makes me feel strong and motivated. I also often feel like a protagonist from some anime but... music also played a big role in my previous love story and all I can say is that it definitely made me fall harder.

*Ping*

Hmm? Who would be awake at this time? 'My maths teacher is actually a wet towel like he just gave me an assignment to get done in two days...in two days what is this?? Who does he think he is?' Oh haha I know exactly who it is. It's my best friend Carys. I laugh a little but I try to act serious as I reply 'Damn what the heck why! *insert angry emoji*. Then I receive another *ping* it's from Nicole...of course it's a voice message. I normally hate receiving voice messages because it takes so long to listen to them but despite what I say it does cheer me up. It's just that...hearing her reaction is so funny to me it's like listening to my favourite YouTuber. *ping* Carys sent a voice message back. As I lie on my soft bed I listen to their voice messages. They are both funny to listen to. This is what I needed to hear my friends.

I've always tried to find friends like these. I've been in several friendship groups but none of them made me this happy during an early morning.

We have Carys who is actually such a sassy queen at times and I love that about her like her lines are all so iconic. I remember in college I couldn't stop using her lines haha. She is also such a kind soul like as soon as I feel like the world is collapsing in front of my eyes she sends me such sweet message like if someone were to walk into my room whilst I read them they would just see me both laughing and crying as she often inserts a few of our inside jokes here and there. Haha even thinking about it makes me happy so happy.

And then we have Nicole who I originally met on Instagram. She is so funny and I love hearing stories about her life as she is such an exciting person and yet she still doesn't believe me! She has been here with me through my mistakes and more and she is the same friend whom I made a world of characters with like imagine having a friend who you can make a whole world with?

These two have kept me going and smiling and I couldn't ask for better friends. If I ever lose them I don't know what I would do. I would be crashed they are way too precious to me.

[cieloclercs]

Issy and Evangeline had never known such luxury, as to be able to sleep on a wooden bench. Compared to the snowy foxholes they had been forced to huddle inside for all those weeks in Bastogne, a church pew was heaven. And the girls’ choir singing Plaisir D’amour were the angels.

“My mama used to play this song on the piano.” Evangeline - also aptly nicknamed ‘Angel’ by her comrades - recalled with a wistful smile. Geneveive Dubois had played many songs on their piano back home in Annecy, but Plaisir D’amour was always her favourite.

“Is there anything your mother can’t do? Last week you told me she painted a portrait for Coco Chanel!” Issy laughed, then shrank back into her seat as the nun observing the choir girls shot her a disapproving look.

“She did! Mama is a very good artist!” Angel defended with a small smile, the first one that had fully graced her lips in weeks.

“And apparently a musician, too.” Issy murmured quietly, careful not to catch the strict nun’s attention again. She always seemed to find a way of getting into trouble without intending to.

Angel glanced down at her friend with a fond smile, chuckling softly at the way she shied away from the nun’s gaze. For as long as she had known her, Issy always had a gift for getting on the wrong side of people she shouldn’t. Angel could practically hear Sobel screaming, “Private Castro, if you turn up late for PT one more time this week, your weekend pass will be revoked for the rest of your life!”

Issy never did get to join them for weekend drinks.

Angel suddenly found herself missing the good old days at Camp Toccoa. Looking back on it, the daily PT sessions where Sobel would scream at them for not making it over the wall, and their long and exhausting runs up Currahee felt like a lifetime ago. Angel would have given anything to go back, with the Black Swan and all. Even Sobel’s insults were better than Bastogne.

But nothing could be worse than Bastogne.

Angel just knew Lieutenant Dike was going to be their downfall. She knew it from the moment Issy and George nicknamed him, ‘Foxhole Norman’ in Holland. That man was not a soldier. He never should have been allowed to command Easy Company. And he had cost them so much.

It made her angry.

Lip had been their guardian angel in the dark days of Bastogne. He was the leader Easy Company needed more than anything, as strong as decisive as Winters, and one of the best people she knew. Angel often found herself praying, just praying to God that Lip would take over, give Easy a little hope. He would have got the whole company back on their feet, given them something to fight for again.

But instead they had Foxhole Norman.

When Dike was put in charge of the attack on Foy, Angel wanted to scream. They had already lost too many soldiers, good soldiers. Skinny had been evacuated, Smokey paralysed, Toye and Guarnere lost their legs in one of the last barrages in the Bois Jacques woods, Skip, Penkala... and two of the bravest women she ever knew. They were going to lose even more with Dike in charge.

Then came Easy Company’s saviour.

Ronald Speirs was - in all honesty - the last person Angel expected to come to their rescue. She had only met him a few times, but the rumours... the rumours were hard to ignore. Even for someone like her, and Angel had never been one to gossip.

Ronald Speirs saved them all.

He came charging through Foye like a man on a mission, not even glancing at the Germans on his either side. The attack was failing, thanks to Dike’s idiocy, and too many good men were losing their lives. Speirs turned it all around single handedly.

He was a hero.

Angel was glad he was their new CO. The whole company was glad. She had spoken to Lipton only two hours before, and even he had expressed his deep relief that Dike was gone, and they finally had a good leader in charge. Maybe things would start looking up for Easy.

“You wanna ask me don’t ya?”

Angel blinked rapidly, the image of that frost-bitten battlefield fading from before her eyes. She glanced to her side, and realised that Issy had fallen asleep; her head lolled to the side and there was a contented smile on her lips. She still looked like a girl, even after everything they had been through.

“Ask you what, sir?”

Angel turned away from Issy’s sleeping figure, her eyes instead focussing on the two men in her line of sight; Speirs and Lipton. The former was collecting his equipment, presumably to make his way back to Battalion, while the latter watched him with a curious gaze. Angel sat up a little straighter in her seat.

“You wanna know if they’re true or not, the stories about me.”

Lipton seemed amused, and maybe a little apprehensive. Speirs never really spoke to anyone, let alone spoke to them about his darkest secrets. And the rumours... were the darkest it could get.

“Did you ever notice with stories like that, everyone says they heard it from someone who was there, but when you ask that person, they say they heard it from someone who was there.”

Speirs spoke about the rumours like they didn’t bother him, with such nonchalance, and perhaps even a hint of smugness. Angel watched a slight smirk stretch across his face, and suddenly, she wasn’t so convinced by the rumours anymore.

“I bet if you went back 2,000 years, ya’d here a couple of centurions standin’ around, yakkin’ about how Tertius lopped off the heads of some Carthaginian prisoners.”

“Well, maybe they kept talkin’ about it ‘cause they never heard Tertius deny it.”

Angel got the feeling they weren’t really talking about Tertius.

“Hm, maybe that’s because Tertius knew there was some value to the men thinkin’ he was the meanest, toughest sonofabitch in the whole Roman Legion.”

Oh.

Now she understood.

Angel supposed a reputation like that was useful, especially in a war such as this. Fear was a natural thing to feel in the presence of someone like him. The rumours about Speirs were known by all of Easy Company, and possibly even the whole 506th. Everyone knew he was a cold-blooded, merciless, perhaps slightly insane killer. Or at least, they thought they did.

“Sir, these men aren’t really concerned about the stories. They’re just glad to have you as their CO. They’re happy to have a good leader again.”

Lipton’s eyes weren’t so guarded anymore, but curiosity still lingered within them. Perhaps he was just realising - a little like Angel - that there was a lot more to Ronald Speirs than meets the eye.

“Well from what I heard, they’ve always had one. I’ve been told there’s always been one man they could count on. Led ‘em in the Bois Jacques, held ‘em together when they had the crap shelled outta them in the woods. Every day he kept his spirits up, kept the men focussed, gave ‘em direction. All the things a good combat leader does.”

Angel couldn’t help the grin that spread across her face, because no truer words had ever been spoken. And the best thing about it, Lip was completely oblivious. He had no idea just how much Easy Company had relied on him through Bastogne. He was a pillar, a friend to lean on, to listen to their problems, to offer advice, all while being an exceptional leader. They owed their lives to him. Because without Lipton, Angel was sure she wouldn’t have been able to go on.

“You don’t have any idea who I’m talkin’ about do ya?”

“No, sir.”

“Hell, it was you, First Sergeant.”

As Lipton’s eyebrows raised in surprise, Angel saw - for the first time - a real, genuine smile on Speirs’ face. It made her grin widen even further. Lip was the glue that held them together. Even Speirs - who had run straight through German fire for Easy Company - was acknowledging it. It was all down to Lipton.

“Oh, and you’re not gonna be a first sergeant for much longer, First Sergeant.”

“Sir?”

“Winters put in for a Battlefield commission, and Sink approved on your behalf. You should get the official nod in a few days.”

Angel could have cried.

“Congratulations, Lieutenant.”

Lipton looked like he couldn’t quite believe it, even as Speirs sent him a brief smile before walking away. He was stood motionless for a few seconds, the shock immobilising his limbs.

Lip deserved this.

With Speirs as their new CO, and Lipton getting a Battlefield commission, it seemed that Easy’s darkest days might finally be behind them. Bastogne truly had been hell on Earth, the kind of thing that no one should ever have to endure. Just the shriek of a shell, or the faint whistle of a bullet was enough to strike terror into the hearts of every single soldier in the Bois Jacques woods. Angel had never known anything like it.

She wouldn’t allow herself to relax, even now Dike was gone. War was much too complicated to hope for its end at any point, let alone when it was so close to finally being won. It would only hurt more in the end. Hope could be a very dangerous thing.

But it could also be your salvation.

Band of Brothers Appreciation Week Day 5, One scene ~ Rachamps Church

introducing OFC no. 4, Evangeline Dubois!

introducing OFC no. 5, Isidra Castro!

[kumkaniudaku]

Savage

A/N: Happy Two Year Anniversary to this blog. I hope you enjoy. 

Summary: CoCo’s trying to get back to herself with a special photoshoot and help from an unlikely source. 

Standing in the bathroom mirror dressed in nothing but the skin God blessed her with, Tasha proudly turned her hips from side to side to examine her body. A small smile crept across her golden features as her eyes raked over her hips before landing on her backside. She used the tips of her fingers to grasp at the cuff of her ass and lift the area.

"Hey there, girl. Been a long time since we've seen each other. Lookin' good." Tasha's hands took the scenic route to her breast, stopping at her stomach and rubbing her palm over the section that had plagued her for years. When she reached her chest, she playfully pushed her breasts together and smiled. "And look at you guys. Sittin' all pretty after all these years."

With her hair loose and untamed and Beyonce's self-titled album playing in the background, CoCo felt a surge of energy that began a swirling motion in her hips. She watched the natural curves and jiggle of her body as she moved and smiled, finally feeling comfortable with the "new" her. A year and half postpartum was filled with the ups and downs of understanding the changes within her and accepting them. Tasha's silly dance moves were a moment of celebration that her husband, who quietly stood in the doorway to enjoy the morning entertainment, understood and appreciated.

In the middle of twirl to the rap portion of Yonce, Tasha was startled by her husband. She quickly rushed to her phone to pause the song and end her private dance party.

"No, don't stop," Chadwick laughed as he stepped into the bathroom. "I'm lovin' the show."

"I feel like you're laughing at me."

"Of course not, baby. I'm laughing with you." His last words became a sultry mumble as he made space for his lips on Tasha's. Goosebumps pebbled on her cold skin wherever Chadwick's warm palms landed, finally finding a home just above her ass. They stood in one position, holding each other and making silly conversations that kept the energy light. In the middle of a debate on which child would be the first to wake and terrorize the house, Tasha decided to share a bit of news.

"I got an email this morning from Rihanna," she casually introduced, keeping her eyes away from Chadwick's as she pretended to take an interest in the chain around his neck.

"Is this for another one of those wild girl's nights that ends up on Instagram?"

"Wow, I accidentally showed a little nipple once on IG Live once, and now it's a whole thing!" Chadwick cocked his head back with his eyebrows raised and a soft smile resting on his face.

Instead of bringing up the instantaneous internet reaction that lasted for days after the unintentional peep show, he laughed at the memory and shook his head.

"Anyway," she emphasized with an eye roll. "It was an invitation to do a little modeling very soon."

"Modeling for Rihanna, huh? Is this the Fenty makeup stuff you look so good in?"

"No, but I'll make sure to bring your compliment up the next time I speak to her," Tasha laughed before going silent.

Her sudden reluctance to continue didn't escape Chadwick as he playfully pinched her backside to get a response.

"Don't leave me hanging, girl, what is it?"

"Ow! Okay! Rihanna wants to see me in some of her new...lingerie."

"I'm sorry what was that," Chadwick asked after noticing his wife's intentional rush past the last word.

"I said Rihanna wants me to model some of her new lingerie."

"Lingerie. Like half-naked, ass out in see-through lace lingerie?"

"Possibly. She says, and I quote, that I have a nice ass that deserves to be seen all over the world. She gave me the entire rundown of the campaign and the process. Baby, I really wanna do this. I'm finally feeling back to being myself after having Noah, and I want to celebrate! I'm not going to have this body forever. I should show it off while I still have time, right?"

Chadwick could hear and see the excitement radiating from Tasha at the thought of working on the campaign, but he worried about her. From the beginning of their relationship, he'd vowed to protect her from the often cruel opinions of the public. While he trusted CoCo's ability to take the comments in stride, he wasn't sure if he would be able to refrain from unleashing his wrath upon some unsuspecting teenager behind a keyboard.

Dropping his head, Chadwick placed a chaste kiss on Tasha's nose. "If you think you can handle it, I'm all for you showing off your little cupcakes within reason."

"Oh, yeah, right. You love these little cupcakes."

"Mm, I do. 'Specially when you have 'em all oiled up for me. Ooh, or in that backless satin dress you wear on special occasions."

Tasha rolled her eyes and smiled as he ran through all of the ways he liked to see her derriere present for his viewing pleasure.

"Do you wanna hear about the overall concept of the shoot or not, lover boy," she laughed while Chadwick nipped at her neck and pressed her body closer to his.

"Go ahead; I'm listening. I can listen and rub at the same time."

"Well, what if I wanted to be rubbed separately?"

CoCo could barely hear her husband's response over her squeals as Chadwick lifted her from her feet to place her on the counter. They quickly abandoned playful tickling for more sensual forms of touching until they were too wrapped up in each other to notice other sounds in their home.

Their escalating round of flirting came to a sudden halt when the repeated clicking of the bedroom's doorknob caught their attention.

"It's time for breakfast," Micah yelled from the hallway. "You guys said playtime was at night! I'm hungry."

"What are we eating this morning, baby girl?"

"I dunno! I'm not a grown-up yet. Can Mommy wake up and make us pancakes? MOMMY WAKE UP!"

Tears pricked CoCo's eyes as she fought to stifle laughter and catch her breath. "I'm awake, Chicken Little. Pancakes coming right up. Go check on your brother."

Micah answered with an unenthusiastic grumble before dragging her feet down the hallway in the direction of Noah's bedroom. One look at each other sent Chad and CoCo into a fit of laughter at the sheer comedy of the moment.

"That's our girl," Tasha laughed.

"She's a little diva. I wonder who she gets that from."

"Oop! Is that sarcasm I hear, husband?"

"Oh, never!" Sneaking a final kiss, Chadwick stepped back to make his way toward the threshold of the bathroom. A mischievous smirk graced his face as he turned to address his wife. "She absolutely gets it from you."

---------------------

"Hit a switch on a fake nigga, like a station. Sex with me so amazing…"

Tasha silently mouthed the words to Rihanna's ANTI album while her house buzzed with staff members assisting with the early morning shoot. Though her exterior was calm and collected on the outside, she was suffering through an awful surge of anxiety.

When she initially accepted Rihanna's invitation, CoCo didn't even consider the specifics. She'd been a part of plenty of photoshoots, but all of them had he styled in clothing that didn't show off very intimate curves and lumps. Never had she been tasked with fighting to cover her nooks and crannies with her olive-colored Savage x Fenty robe.

"You think I can fit this?"

Snapping from her onslaught of negative thoughts, Tasha shifted her eyes to get a glimpse of her sister through her vanity mirror.

"Yeah...in about four months."

"I don't have four months. I wanna have sex tonight. I'm hormonal, and I want it immediately."

"Then, by all means, cram those big lactating titties in that bra."

Tiana laughed from the pit of her growing belly for several seconds until she paused. "I think I just peed a little."

This time Tasha joined in, motioning for the makeup artist to pass her a few tissues to catch the tears welling in the corner of her eyes.

"Sit your ass down, TiTi. The only person allowed to pee on the carpet by accident is still learning how to stand on his own two feet."

"I just love my little chunk muffin," she gushed, referring to her nickname for Noah. "When are they coming back?"

"Hopefully, long after all of this is over. I don't know if I'm ready for Micah to see me dressed so...so scandalous."

Taking a seat on the chaise across the room, Tiana shook her head in disapproval. "Oh girl, hush. You're a woman with a beautiful body, and Micah could stand to learn an early lesson about the power of living in your skin unapologetically. A healthy body image at a young age is important."

"When did you become a damn poet," Tasha asked in faux annoyance. She knew her younger sister was right in her advice and needed a moment to process the statement.

"I became a poet when you invited me over here for moral support. It's my new thing after reading all these rich lady parenting books."

"Who knew my little sister had morals?" The pair locked eyes through the mirror and smiled at each other when Tiana flashed her middle finger and waved Tasha off. "Really, though, thanks, Ti. I appreciate the advice."

"Yeah, yeah. Show your appreciation by directing me to the best snacks in your pantry."

The hairstylist took a break from situating CoCo's pin curls to finally release his laughter, making the Greene sister duo join in.

"You two need a YouTube channel. I would subscribe," he complimented as his laughter subsided. "Feel free to grab some food from the catering station on the deck. Or we can get someone to bring it to you. What's the order?"

"Oooh, fancy! Don't worry about that, sweetheart. I need to get some exercise done anyway. Gotta keep my girlish figure for my Savage shoot one day."

Tiana gave the room a show as she playfully ran her hands up her legs and twisted her hips in a sultry dance. Once she exited the room in search of lunch, silence filled the room once again.

Megan Thee Stallion became the soundtrack of Tasha's thoughts as she pondered Tiana's advice. Maybe it wasn't Micah that needed the body positivity message. Though she didn't necessarily hate her body, she was used to living in her shell in public, and only embracing her natural self in private. It was time for a change.

"Knock, knock." A set of knuckles rapped against the hardwood door of CoCo's vanity area inside of her closet, making her pause to catch her breath. Such a melodic blend of West Indian charm and homegirl inflections could only belong to one person.

"Rihanna?!? In my house?!? Am I dead?"

The Bajan Beauty chuckled as she moved further into the room to check on the progress of Tasha's glam prep. "If you're dead, then I'm gonna need all this shit back."

"Wow, so you wouldn't let me represent the Fenty brand for Jesus?"

"Who said you were going to see Jesus?" Everyone in the room fell into a fit of laughter as Rihanna wrapped her arms around CoCo in a warm embrace. "You look so good right now! Like...damn!"

"Do I? Because I feel like an old lady trying to be young again."

"Oh, please! Stand up." Tasha immediately began to protest, but her words fell on ears that would not take 'no' for an answer. Before she could make a mad dash for the bathroom, Rihanna rushed to pull Tasha in front of the full-length mirror to get a good look at herself.

They stood in silence for a moment, allowing CoCo to quietly regard her body while Rihanna adjusted the straps of her racy bodysuit. The custom Savage by Fenty silk robe hanging off of her shoulders hid most Tasha's body, but what she could see brought a small smile to her face.

"Cross Fit is full of a bunch a dudebro white boys, but I have to say, it works," she laughed as she turned her body to get a better look.

"I told you! I know a bunch of old bitches that need to take a seat and hang it up. You are not one of them." Finally done with her adjustments, Robyn stood on her tip-toes to rest her chin on Tasha's shoulder and smile. "Now that we're on the same page, you ready?"

Taking a deep breath, Tasha nodded and smiled, "I'm ready."

"Good. Now, get this bitch some wine and turn up the music. She needs to get loose!"

As ordered, CoCo took a break for red wine before settling in the mood of the shoot. Rihanna explained her vision for the afternoon as a beautiful look into the sexiness of motherhood and being a wife.

"It's like Desperate Housewives meets XNXX," she described as Tasha downed the last of her Merlot. "Ho, but make it, mommy."

Though the visual was funny, CoCo understood the intention and used it to fuel her movements from scene to scene. Exaggerated arches while pretending to vacuum or make up the bed felt silly initially until the praise of the photographer began to boost her confidence. In her second outfit, a floral lace teddy, she felt covered enough to be comfortable and exposed enough to feel like the most beautiful woman within 100 miles.

"Look at me like I'm your husband walking into the kitchen after a great night, and you're making breakfast to thank him. Give me those bedroom eyes."

Everyone in the kitchen could sense an energy shift as Tasha bit her lip and gave the camera a coy look over her shoulder. Flashbacks of a scenario matching the request made her stomach flutter with the emotion of seeing her man waltz down the stairs after their first night together.

"Oh, she's feeling it," Tiana smiled as she leaned over to speak to Rihanna. "I recognize that look, T!"

"You fantasizing over there, girl?"

"Let the master work in peace, please. Thank you!"

CoCo's thoughts of Chadwick became a reality when her exhausted husband walked through the front door with both kids in tow. The sight of a full crew roaming his home added an extra layer of anxiety to an already turbulent afternoon. But, taking a step into the kitchen and laying eyes on his wife gave him a second wind.

He watched her charm the room and the camera like a pro.  

He wasn't the only person speechless for her display.

Micah's eyes sparkled as she watched her mother dazzle, and she couldn't help her tiny squeal. The sound drew everyone's attention while she rushed into the room.

"Mommy, you look like a movie lady," she exclaimed.

Tasha turned just in time to intercept Micah's hug before pulling her off the ground. When she looked up to find Chadwick, he gave her an apologetic look.

"I know I said we'd be gone, but Noah was fussy and I -"

"Baby, it's okay." Tasha's laughter caught Chadwick off-guard.

"You...you sure? I can take them to the park or something."

"It's fine! Right, Robyn? It's cool if they stay?"

"Girl, this is your house! It would be very Karen of me to tell you who you can and can't have in here," Rihanna laughed. "Plus, I wanna hold the baby. Gimme!"

Chadwick took Rihanna's request as an opportunity to get closer to CoCo, who welcomed him with open arms and a kiss to the cheek. Leaning in to return the gesture, he made it a point to brush his lips across her ear.

"Keep this outfit for another time. You look amazing."

"Yeah? Maybe you can help me into the next one." The thought of another racy number had Chadwick on high alert and more handsy than he would generally be in front of a crowd. "Hey, now! Get on out of here. You're holding up the crew."

"Bold of you to assume we didn't get all of that. I want some more," Rihanna added as she tickled Noah. "Miss Micah, you wanna take some pictures?"

"Yes! Please please please, Mommy! Pleaseeeee!"

CoCo looked to Chadwick for confirmation that he granted her with a nod and a smile.

"Of course, baby. Let's go find you an outfit."

With some help from the team on set, Micah found in a dress that matched the styling direction of Tasha's bodysuit. The bright sun provided perfect light for the outdoor setting, making the backyard's greenery and the blue water in the pool. Micah was a star from the first click of the camera. For a child that had only been in the world for a little over 6 years, she had knowledge of her angles and how to interact with another person in the shot. Her facial expressions mimicked Tasha's as they posed together under Rihanna's direction. Her apparent excitement to be part of her mom's moment put CoCo at ease.

Soon, Noah joined the shoot for the final 20 frames. His baby giggles infused the perfect amount of energy to finish the day.

Long after the shoot had ended and the house cleared of visitors, Tasha still found herself buzzing. Standing in front of the mirror in the bedroom, she smiled at her reflection.

"You think I could model full time. Like for AARP?"

Her comment made Chadwick choke with laughter before he could respond. "Yes to modeling, no to AARP."

"That's the right answer. Good job, babe." Once she'd had enough of looking at herself, Tasha flopped across the bed and closed her eyes. "Today felt so...good. I've never felt this free before. And seeing Micah look at me like a superhero made me feel important. She is six years old and giving me more validation than anyone in the world. It's wild."

"She thinks the world of you, trust me. We all do."

Popping her eyes open, she got a glimpse of Chadwick smiling down at her, making her feel warm all over. This was the high she's been chasing as she made the journey back to herself. In all of the photos taken and posted for likes and commentary from the public, nothing could compare to the way she felt when her kids told her 'I love you' or when her husband winked at her from across the room. His comments were confirmation of the lesson she'd finally learned. She didn't need to look a certain way for people she didn't know or care about.

All the love and adoration she desired was already around her.

[zamoimagines]

This Means War

Word Count: 1,854

Pairings: Venable x Reader, Cordelia x Reader

Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4

Summary: You’re sent to Outpost 3 on behalf of the coven with Coco to protect Mallory. A spell is put over you so that you forget anything you ever knew of being a witch, including all of your memories of your girlfriend, Cordelia. Without the Supreme and being confined to the Outpost after a nuclear missile launch, you feel empty for what seems to be no reason at all. That’s until a new woman, Miss Wilhelmina Venable takes an interest in you.

A/N: Thank you all for being so patient! Here it is, happy belated Thanksgiving to all of you that celebrated! DISCLAIMER: I used the lyrics from Sara by Fleetwood Mac, I don’t own the song or anything. Enjoy!

Ever since the evening of your nightmare, Wilhelmina had become very close to you. She was attached to you at the hip wherever you went. In return, you learned so much about her. Like how before the Apocalypse, she was the CEO of a robotics company, that she’s always worn skirts, and how she uses a cane because she’s always had scoliosis. The two of you were open books to each other behind closed doors. The other residents noticed your friendship growing stronger as the months went by. Venable gave it away by even the littlest gestures, though none of them really cared what was going on between the two of you. You didn’t mind anyone knowing. Anyone that could bring a smile to your face during the end of the world was someone worth talking to.

Dinner went as usual; everyone scarfed down their mineral cubes and drank what water they could. One by one, each of the residents left the table to go back to their rooms for the evening. As you stood up from your seat, Venable immediately stopped her conversation with Miss Mead.

“Miss (Y/L/N), may I have a word with you?”

A small smirk appeared on your face. She was trying to remain so professional, yet you and Mead both knew that wasn’t the case whatsoever. Though, you went along with it.

“Of course, Miss Venable.”

“Wonderful.” She replied. The redhead gripped her cane to stand. She made her way over to you and gestured to follow her.

When the two of you were out of sight, Venable’s free arm hooked around yours.

“I’m glad you’re not too tired. I was hoping I could show you something I found earlier this morning.”

“Oh?” You replied. “You found something new in this place?”

“I wouldn’t say it’s new, necessarily. I think you’ll appreciate it as much as I did.”

She led you into the library. The light was dimmer than usual, for the candles had melted down much too far. It was enough for you to see everything around the room. Venable shut the wide French doors behind her and turned toward you. She made her way to the end table next to the lounge chair. On the table, there was something rather large covered by a dark purple cloth. You cocked your eyebrow in confusion.

“Um… What is it?” You asked.

Venable’s smile grew bigger as she unveiled the object. Underneath was a vintage record player.

“Isn’t it beautiful?” She exclaimed.

You couldn’t believe what you were looking at. All of you were told that nothing survived the explosion. The only source of music that could be found throughout the Outpost was the small radio in the lounge area, and even then it only played one song for hours on end.

“W-Where did you find this?”

“I was doing a little bit of organizing in here, and I stumbled upon an old suitcase that I happened to bring with me to the Outpost. This was mine!” She opened the drawer in the table to reveal a few records.

“I even packed a few of my favorites. I completely forgot that I brought them with me!”

Without hesitation, you took some of the records from her hands to examine them. It had been so long since you’d even held a vinyl. Your lips formed a small grin just by seeing the album art.

“You have a great collection… David Bowie, The Beatles - Fleetwood Mac! You’re kidding!” you exclaimed. “This is amazing, Wilhelmina!”

“Those aren’t even the best that I own. Here,” She took one more record out of the drawer. It was an album of all of Stevie Nicks’s greatest hits. Your eyes widened. Very carefully, you placed the others on the lounge chair before taking the record from her hands. The album art was everything you remembered it to be.

“How… How did you not remember having these?”

“I’m not sure, honestly.” Wilhemina began, “I was too busy trying to get settled in the Outpost that I didn’t give these any thought.” She glanced down at the record, then back up at you.

“Would you like to listen to it?”

Your eyes met hers. Butterflies filled your stomach, but you couldn’t tell if it was because you were so excited to hear the music or if it was because Venable was adorable when she was so happy like this. Regardless, you nodded to her. She slipped the record out of the sleeve before placing it upon the player. As she turned it on, you could hear the nostalgic sound of static. She placed the needle onto the record slowly. All of a sudden, the music from a piano began to play. It was the most beautiful sound you’d ever heard.

“Wait a minute baby,

Stay with me awhile

Said you’d give me light,

But you never told me ‘bout the fire”

Euphoria rushed over your body as you heard Stevie’s voice.

“This… This is absolutely incredible,” you said softly. Venable nodded, her head began to sway a little to the music as the song picked up.

“Drowning in the sea of love,

Where everyone would love to drown

But now it’s gone,

It doesn’t matter what for

When you build your house,

Then call me home…”

Venable took your hand into her own.

“Dance with me.”

Your cheeks turned a bright shade of red. A little embarrassed, you shook your head.

“No, I couldn’t! I haven’t danced in so long.”

“Come on, yes you can! We won’t tell anyone.”

“Wilhelmina, I’m not sure-”

“Please? Do it for me?”

Those words were enough for you to blush even harder. You were at a loss for words.

“I…” What trouble would come of one little dance?

“Okay,” you muttered in a shy tone.

Grinning, she leaned her cane against the chair. Wilhelmina took your other hand and began to sway with you. It was a little awkward at first since it was pretty obvious that the two of you were rusty. As the song went on, you both became a little better. She extended her arm so that you’d do a soft spin outward. You giggled at her for doing something so cheesy.

“And he was just like a great dark wing,

Within the wings of a storm

I think I had met my match, he was singing,

And undoing, and undoing the laces

Undoing the laces...”

“You’re full of it, you know that?” you joked. Her arm pulled on yours, causing you to spin right back to where she was. Only this time, your torso was pressed up against hers. Her arm rested on your waist.

“Am I now?” she replied with a dark chuckle.

Feeling her so close to you was daunting, but it felt right. All you could do was laugh along with her and continue to sway to the music.

“Sara, you’re the poet in my heart,

Never change, never stop

But now it’s gone,

It doesn’t matter what for

But when you build your house,

Then call me home”

You rested your head on her shoulder as the song carried on. In return, Venable leaned her cheek against your forehead as if to hold you. This was the most comfortable you’d ever felt in the Outpost. It was as if the atmosphere around you was fading. The apocalypse, all the death, the other residents; none of that mattered right now. All that was there was you and Mina. You never wanted to leave this moment.

“Y/N…” Venable said softly.

You lifted up so that you could look at her.

“Yes, Wilhelmina?”

The tension hung in the air like a thick fog. Your face was already so close to hers, your lips only a breath apart. Venable gazed into your eyes as your heart raced in your chest.

“Hold on,

The night is coming and the starling flew for days

I’d stay home at night, all the time

I’d go anywhere, anywhere, anywhere,

Ask me and I’m there, yeah

Ask me and I’m there, I care…”

Her grip around your waist tightened as her hand cupped your cheek. You felt as if you could melt from her touch. There was no denying that you had felt something for her, you just hadn’t expected that she would feel the same way toward you. Wilhelmina’s face leaned in closer.

All of a sudden, the music disappeared. The room transformed into black; all of the books were gone and the furniture had vanished. You’d been here before, but only in your dreams. Hands still held on tight to your body. Though, it was different. You could smell the fresh scent of flowers rather than the dust and decay from the bunker.

“I love you, Y/N.” a soft voice whispered.

When you glanced up, you found that it wasn’t Wilhelmina that was holding you any longer. It was that mystery woman, blonde hair still flowing and still dressed all in white. You had never been this close to her before. You reached out to touch her face.

“I-I…” you paused for a moment. You longed to feel her lips upon your own and yet you still had no idea who this woman was. Just as your fingers barely met her neck, her body began to dissolve into the atmosphere. Tears fell from your eyes as she slipped away from you.

In an instant, you were back in the library. Wilhelmina was still holding you and was still close. Something was terribly wrong.

“No!” you exclaimed, pushing yourself away from her. Venable let go of you, a frown appearing on her lips.

“Y/N… I- I thought you were-”

“No, I’m sorry… I’m not upset with you, I just… I can’t do this.”

“Of course you can,” Wilhelmina cooed. She walked slightly toward you. “We won’t have to tell any of the others. We can keep it all a secret-”

“I have to go. I’m so sorry.”

You immediately turned away and rushed to the door.

“Y/N, please, let’s discuss this!”

You stopped for a moment. All of this was too much for you to handle right now. Your emotions were overwhelming you to the point where you couldn’t even look at her. Without looking back, you took in a shaky breath.

“Good night, Miss Venable.”

With those words, you fled from the library. More tears streamed down your face as you tried your best to make it back to your room as calmly but as quickly as you could. This woman couldn’t be a hallucination or a dream anymore. Something deep inside you stirred every time you saw her, but you couldn’t tell what it was. You felt like you were going crazy.

In the library, Venable hadn’t moved. It was as if she was paralyzed. All she could do was listen to the sound of the music that played softly on the record player.

“In the sea of love,

Where everyone would love to drown

But now it’s gone,

Then say it doesn’t matter anymore

When you build your house,

Then please call me home…”

REQUEST MORE HERE!

[thotwonu]

flannel - n.m.

idk man. i just put on some music and wrote for a little while. occasionally interrupted by drea making me laugh. have some soft boi!nick shit. -rei

it was just after midnight and you were bored outta your mind. your roommate was out with some of her work friends so you couldn’t even go bug her. you had flipped through netflix and youtube and scrolled your instagram feed to death. you weren’t even a little tired because you’d had a coffee late in the afternoon and you could still feel the caffeine buzzing in your veins.

after hanging upside down off the edge of your bed and looking for shapes in the marks on your ceiling, you finally pulled out your phone and texted him. nick mara. you’d met him at a party a few weeks earlier and the two of you had become close surprisingly quickly. it wasn’t a deep friendship, but you definitely sent each other dumb shit you found on the internet and bothered each other when you were bored. of course you thought he was hotter than fire, but you were happy just being friends at this point.

“NICHOLAS!” you texted him. somehow in the time you’d been talking it had become a regular occurrence. “whats with the government name, mami?” he sent back pretty quickly making you laugh. “i’m bored as fuck and had a coffee so i’m hyper. come thruuuuu.” you continued laughing to yourself as you sent the message.

across town nick was laid out on brandon’s bed listening to some beats the other boy had been working on while cuddling simba. all the boys were positioned around the room. it just so happened, that zion happened to be sitting next to him reading the messages over his shoulder. “OOOOOO! NICK GOT HIT WITH THE COME THRU TEXT!” nick shoved zion almost off the edge of the bed because the other boy was laughing so hard. “well then, watcha still doin’ here with us?” edwin joked. nick rolled his eyes and flipped the boys off but did get up outta the bed and went to his room to grab some shoes and his car keys.

you were starting to question if you should’ve joked like that when your phone pinged and you read nick’s text. “omw,” your heart rate sped up and you jumped out of your bed and looked at yourself in the mirror. you looked a damn mess. why did you care though? because you were ready to cross that line and shoot your shot? YEP! you quickly did something with your hair. cute bun was a safe bet because it looked cute but also it gave you time to change into something that wasn’t your paint covered sweats you’d had since middle school and the ramen stained shirt you’d been wearing all day.

you knew it took about twenty to thirty minutes to get from nick’s place to yours so you had some time to find something cute. you ended up finding some cute athletic shorts the showed off your assets, and a flannel of nick’s he’d let you borrow after someone spilled beer on you at a party. you put that one and sprayed a little perfume just in time to hear the knock on your door. you actually ran across the apartment and slid in your socks opening the door with a flourish. you knew your face was probably a little flushed and you were giggling already.

nick’s face broke out into a grin as he walked into your apartment and shut the door behind him. “you weren’t kidding about being hype,” he laughed watching as you walked into the kitchen and pulled out a tub of ice cream. he let his eyes wander down your figure as you stood on your toes to be able to reach the tub in the back of the freezer. once you successfully got the pint of ice cream you grabbed a spoon and hopped up on the counter and started eating it. your eyes tracked him as he walked into your cramped kitchen and stood in front of you. he leaned on the counter across from you and just watched as you stuck another spoonful of ice cream into your mouth and let the spoon hang there. he smiled and shook his head. “you invited me over to watch you eat ice cream?” you rolled your eyes and shook your head pulling the spoon out of your mouth and using it to emphasize your next words. “i invited you over to entertain me mara. i’m bored, hyper, and putting more sugar into my body.” 

suddenly your eyes lit up and you jumped off the counter. you tossed your spoon in the sink and tossed your ice cream back into the freezer shutting the door quickly so it didn’t fall out of the pizza roll/hot pocket stuffed mess. you ran into the living room and put spotify up on your tv and searched through your library before you came across the song you needed. “dance for me mara,” you grinned as chris brown started thumping through your speakers. nick rolled his eyes and danced over to where you were sitting on the couch and pulled you up into his arms and made you dance around with him. after a couple songs played through you both ended up crashing to the couch out of breath and giggly. a soft chris brown started playing and you were suddenly hyper aware of how close you were to nick.

nick’s eyes were staring into your soul practically. he let his eyes focus on your whole face. the stray baby hairs that framed your eyes. the shine on your cheeks from exerting yourself dancing around with him. the way your chest moved up and down as you tried desperately to catch your breath. he watched you bite your lip and realized your eyes were no longer focused on his eyes but his lips. “fuck it,” he whispered and leaned forward closing the space between you and pressing his lips to yours. you gasped and kissed him back. his hands moved from where he had them on either side of his body to yours. one on your hip and the other on your thigh. you moved yours to either side of his face and let all the pining feelings pour into the kiss. nick effortlessly pulled you into his lap. you thighs spread across both of his. you pulled back from the kiss to catch your breath and you looked down at him. he looked wrecked already and all you wanted was to make him look like that all the time.

“this isn’t really what i was expecting to come home to.” both your heads snapped over to the doorway where your best friends stood staring at the two of you with a startled look on her face. nick started laughing first and you hid your face in his shoulder as your best friend walked past the two of you to the bedrooms. “USE PROTECTION!” she yelled back as she closed her door.

you were laughing hysterically as you let your body fall onto the couch laying down. your legs were still over nick’s lap and he squeezed you calves. he just watched you with fondness in his eyes. you pulled the flannel you were wearing up to cover your face. “you look really good in my clothes mami,” he remarked in a low voice. you uncovered your face and sent him a cheesy grin. “does that mean i can have that hoodie of yours i’ve been trying to borrow?” you wiggled your eyebrows at him causing him to laugh and pull you to where you were spooning on the couch. “you can have whatever you want, if-” he stopped himself and made you turn your face to look at him. you squinted a little trying to figure out what he was gonna say next. “if you agree to go on a date with me this weekend,” he grinned down at you before pressing kisses to your neck tickling you. you giggled and pushed his face away, “yes yes! i’ll go out with you.” he hummed in satisfaction before reaching over you and grabbing the remote and pulling up netflix. “is coco still on here?”

[venus-says]

Yes! Pretty Cure 5 GoGo Episodes 13-24

Forget about everything, this is an Urara fan account now.

Part 2 of the GoGo reviews, reaching the mid-point of the season. And I honestly don't know where to start?

Like, I'm still enjoying the season and they had some pretty good episodes in this portion I'm covering now, but different from the beginning where it seemed like there was a pretty good and coherent 12-episodes arc happening, it didn't feel like we had this progression in here. Which it doesn't necessarily hurt the series, it just hurts me because I don't know how to tackle this post since there's not much of a linear thing going on. XD Probably the only linear thing going on is the mystery about Syrup's past and how we have his arc developing, and that is pretty good, don't get me wrong, but if I would write a post based on that I would be talking about only 4 or 5 episodes out of 12. XD

When thinking about these episodes we can kinda separate them into four groups, we have four fairy tale episodes, six episodes focused for each one of the main girls, two episodes for the bigger picture, and one episode that is completely disconnected from everything and it's definitely the low point of this section and of the season so far.

Going on first at the stand-alone episode, Episode 17. The reason why I don't like this episode it's because it's one of those episodes where a famous comedian does a cameo on the show, and I honestly don't know who thought it was a good idea to make these a thing. These cameos should be just cameos, not an entire episode focused on this comedian, who most definitely isn't what the targeted audience consumes or wants to consume, so there's not an actual reason to put them there for more than a couple of scenes in the first place. Not even to mention how awkward it is having them trying to dub their characters, at least for the guy in this episode if felt like he was not comfortable at all while saying his lines, it was just a pretty bad experience.

But moving on, at the beginning of this second act, a new general of Eternal is introduced and thanks to her we have a series of episodes that watching them from the future seems like were ideas of episodes for Smile Precure. XD And I really like the addition of Shibiretta and her powers of creating these pocket dimensions or so based on fairy tales and storybooks because it helps to break a little of the usual stuff we would see happening just in their city and it's a pretty decent change of pace, I also like how she works by dividing the team because we can see more of their dynamics like this and it's all just very fun.

Like, my favorite episode of these is the episode focused on Komachi and Karen where they're brought in to the world of Hansel and Gretel with Nozomi and they end up captured in the candy house, but together Karen and Komachi get to trick Shibiretta into leaving them alone which gives Nozomi the chance of getting to the house and helping them escape, and it's just so clever and so fun at the same time, is amazing. I also love the creative ways in which they used Emerald Saucer and Sapphire Arrow in the episode, I feel like precure doesn't do that enough with attacks that have a stock footage for them so whenever that happens it always makes me very happy. And speaking of creative powers, can we talk about how versatile Mint is? Like, she's a defensive cure on her core, but in this season we've seen her attacking, defending, and giving support with her attack that is technically just a green circle thing, it's so amazing and it proves that defensive cures can work outside just creating barriers and we need more cures like her.

The character-focused episodes were a bit of a hit or miss, Urara had an excellent episode but the other girls didn't have the same luck. Nozomi's episode where she tutors Rin's siblings was pretty good and marked a very important step for her considering her dream of becoming a teacher, and it was very sweet in a lot of moments, but they added stuff in there with Syrup and Coco that didn't feel like it belonged in that episode and thus brings it down a little. Rin is kinda funny and tragic at the same time because she's the only one to get two episodes, but since them are so focused on her friendship with Nozomi and since Nozomi has such a huge presence both episodes end up being more about Nozomi than Rin so we still don't get a lot of her. Komachi's episode was cute but also a bit forgettable because I feel like they didn't use to the fullest the concept of her being concerned for her sister's future. Karen's episode also suffers from this, I feel like since they shared her episode with the Urashima Taro tale her conflict of not being able to tell her parents about her plans for the future ends up being put in the back and the episode loses itself on that a little bit. And Kurumi's episode fails because it's supposed to be the episode where her identity is revealed, but since it was pretty obvious that Kurumi is Milk the episode doesn't work in the way they thought it should.

As I mentioned Urara's episode is the only one to stand out here. First, because of the technical parts, the composition of the scenes, the use of colors and lighting, it's all very beautiful, and while the drawings and the animation aren't perfect all the time, they invested where they should and all keen scenes are a delight to the eyes. I also really like the plot of the episode, this episode is for both Urara and Syrup, but different from the episodes for Rin and Nozomi, here it feels like a more equal thing, you know? This episode is to show Syrup that affection, support, and caring for people can come in different ways, not just the obvious ones, just as much as this episode is to show how Urara's dream is hard for her to achieve but because it's so important to her she holds to it and she gains strength for keep pushing forward in order to reach it. Also putting this one in conjunction with episode 4 we can see they're drawing a relationship between Syrup and Urara, I don't know how much the show wants it to be romantic because we didn't have much about it yet, but if they want to go this route I feel like it's a pairing that I can buy, both because they seem to regulate in age and they also had this thing being developed slowly, different from Coco X Nozomi and Nuts x Komachi. Also Urara's song this time around is way better than her old song.

Now for the big picture, the things of the major plot. While we had only two episodes dedicate to moving this plot forward (23 and 24) we had small bits of this happening here and there. To begin in episode 13 we have established that Syrup is not native from the Palmier Kingdom and he has no memories of his life before getting there, which becomes important for the plot of episodes 23 and 24 to happen. Then in episode 14 King Doughnuts suddenly isn't bound to the pact anymore, he goes back to his kingdom, and in the next episode we're greeted with the next monarch, Queen Bavarois, who's more or less just used as a joke but that finally gave the girls the ability to use their phone-like transformation devices as a communication tool in episode 19. The final things to appear before episodes 23 and 24 is Syrup's quarrel with Coco and the crown of the Palmier Kingdom appearing out of nowhere to them.

And it's in that last part where most of my problems of this part reside, because while Syrup was always bickering Coco it was never so aggressive, so mean spirited as it happened in episode 22 and it felt out of place there. I think they missed putting the thing that flipped the switch and make Syrup really angry at Coco and with how he was acting so it would make the anger feel justifiable and would make the events of episodes 23 and 24 have more impact.

And speaking of those two episodes, while they were a pretty good climax for the mid of the season it also felt like some of the things that happened there shouldn't have happened at this moment but in the climax for the end of the season instead. More specifically Syrup and Coco meeting the Director and out of this encounter we getting a resolution for Coco and Syrup's relationship, a hint that Syrup has a relation with the Director and a hint that the Director and Flora also have a thing. Maybe not for Coco and Syrup, but it felt like it was too early to drop the hints, if not too early I think it got shoved way into our faces. Like, the big bad guy who's supposed to be very powerful just let Coco and Syrup go because he was shocked when he listened to Flora's name, it's already weird that the dude didn't move a finger when Syrup gets into the room with the Rose Pact on hand, then he flinches with the mention of Flora and then afterward we have a scene of him thinking of her making it obvious that there's more here, it wasn't a flinch that could pass as if it was nothing as if it was a case of "he hates her" or "his nemesis was mentioned", the way they presented it made it look very obvious that there was a previous relationship here, and if that's the case I feel like it would be more beneficial if we had this information closer to the final episodes. But we still have half of the season to go so maybe they'll work that on in a longer way for the next episodes.

My final problem with this whole thing is just how useless they made Nuts be, like he was left behind in the human world when everyone else was sent to Eternal, and at the end Coco summons the power of the crown by himself and it's framed like he's being crowned as the one and only king. It feels like Nuts was downgraded to one of the Monarchs that transformed themselves into Palmins because at this point that's how much relevant he has been, heck at this time his screen time is probably just as big as Doughnut and Bavarois, it's ridiculous. Not to mention that there's only one crown and we should technically have two kings, but they mentioned the crown was lost when the kingdom was first attacked so that's at least justifiable, but it shows just how they don't care for him at all and makes me question why is he still here, like if he's not gonna do anything here at least send him back to the Palmier Kingdom, you know?

But in any case, with the power of the crown, the cures got new weapons and a new group attack, AND I LOVE THEM. I LOOOOOOVEthe fleurets, it's one of my favorite precure weapons ever, I love their design, it's pretty much a lightsaber but gay and I love everything about it, and I also think it's pretty cool how the names of each Fleuret reflects their attacks from season one. And while the CGI roses they use are a bit odd, I love how in the attack they look like knights' stances, I know they're not really knights but there's something very Three Musketeers going on in the imagery, like if they were a royal guard of sorts, which it's pretty cool considering this power-up came from the crown of a king so it has this extra special feeling.

And that pretty much does it for now, GoGo has been a very strong and very consistent season so far, I'm loving talking about it, no joke, this is one of the few instances where I sit down to write and everything just flows naturally, it's being a joy not just to watch but also to write about it. But these are just my feelings, let me know what you think of these episodes in specific or your feelings about GoGo in general, I'll love to read them. Stay healthy, stay safe, never stop resisting, thank you so so much for reading, and until the next time. See-ya, everyone~

[walkerwords]

“Tell Me a Story” Lydia & Negan

Summary: A curious Lydia asks Negan to tell her about the war as Alexandrians rebuild the community that Beta trampled with his horde.

Word Count: 3067

Warning: Swearing

Song I Wrote To: “Not Today” by Imagine Dragons

Note: While “Here’s Negan” hasn’t come out yet and we don’t know whether or not he speaks with Lydia, I needed to write this conversation between them. I love this relationship and I think Negan is the father figure that Lydia truly needs. 

----------

Alexandria was in shambles after Beta had led his horde through the safe zone. 

Negan, being one of the strongest members of the community, was asked to help with repairs. While he still never felt as if he was a member of the home he once tortured, he felt as if it was his duty to help rebuild the walls he also once burned down.

The residents were still uncomfortable around the former tyrant, but there was now a new understanding among Alexandrians after Negan had put his life on the line to kill the alpha of the Whisperers. 

Still, there was that aura of negativity that surrounded him and even silent backlash against those who would interact with him. Carol was facing some of it as she was the one to let the wolf out of his cage, but Carol was still Carol and that carried weight and respect that Negan no longer had.

Now, with Maggie back home and her and Glenn’s son in tow, everything that Negan had begun to build, including trust with people like Daryl, Carol, Gabriel, and even Aaron, was becoming irrelevant again.

As soon as he saw her at the rendezvous point after he and Daryl had finished off Beta, his heart had sunk well below his ribs. The new chapter in the Book of Negan had crumbled along with the rest of the neglected paperbacks in the new world. 

However, there were still those on his side. People like Judith, Gabriel, and especially, Lydia. While Lydia and Negan had their issues, there was a connection there that would not be so easily broken by a few glares or hushed whispers. 

Lydia had found a home in Alexandria just as others had when trying to escape the fears from outside the walls. When Daryl had brought her to Alexandria and she had met Negan, everything she thought about the Living had changed. She and Negan were similar in that people didn’t trust them and at times, people feared them. Lydia saw herself in Negan and he did as well.

The two of them were outsiders living within a community that would never fully trust them. However, no matter what the Alexandrians thought, there would always be those few people that they could rely on.

Lydia wandered through the dark streets of Alexandria. The walls were being repaired, the windmill too, and people seemed to be in higher spirits as the war had ended. Lydia still noticed the stares and occasional whispers about her, but those seemed to be coming from the people she didn’t know as well.

The people she saw as a family such as Daryl, Carol, Kelly, Aaron, Gabriel, and even Rosita, who remained kind to her, kept her spirits high. Then, of course, there was Negan, the one person she felt as if she could tell anything. 

Walking towards where Negan was staying, Lydia absently twirled her staff, trying to perfect the movements Henry once showed her before he died. Moving past the Grimes house, she noticed Judith sitting on the steps with her baby brother, keeping him warm with a blanket as she read to him. Daryl was around too, walking with Dog and speaking to Rosita who carried Coco in her arms. 

As Lydia got closer to Negan’s, she noticed Maggie near the vegetable patch, scanning the food stores. Lydia was introduced to the woman a day before, but she didn’t know how to speak to her, let alone act around her. Lydia had heard stories of the previous leader of Hilltop, just as she had heard stories about Ezekiel and Carol who ran the Kingdom for years. 

She knew that Negan had killed Maggie’s husband and that that incident led to the war between the allied communities and Negan’s soldiers who were known as The Saviors. Nobody liked to talk about those years of bloodshed, but after seeing how Maggie Rhee glared at the man who had saved Lydia on multiple occasions, she had had enough and needed answers.

Moving past the woman, Lydia continued towards the small house Negan was staying in. She found him easily as he was sitting on the steps of the house, drinking from a glass jar. Even from down the road, Lydia could tell it wasn’t water. 

“Can’t sleep?” Lydia asked as she approached. Negan looked up at her, giving her a small smile. 

“Not sure any of us have ever gotten a decent night’s sleep in a while, kid,” he said. Lydia couldn’t argue with that. Climbing the steps, she settled down next to him and then held out her hand. Negan narrowed his eyes at her. “How old are you again?”

“I have no idea,” Lydia said and it was true. Time was confusing now. She figured she was around sixteen, but she couldn’t be sure. 

“Fine, but only if you give me that,” Negan said, pointing to the weapon at her side. Lydia handed over her staff and he stowed it behind him before handing her the glass jar. “Go easy,” he said after glancing around, most likely looking for Daryl who would frown upon the teenager drinking moonshine.

Lydia took a small sip of the alcohol, cringing at the flavor before handing it back. She coughed as it burned her throat and Negan laughed. “I don’t think I like that,” Lydia said, wiping her mouth. 

“Good,” Negan said. “This stuff will kill ya.”

“Why drink it then?” Lydia asked. 

“Because it’s the only thing that makes me feel anything right now,” he admitted, taking another sip. 

“This about Maggie?” she asked. Negan was thoughtful for a moment, weighing her words. 

“Some of it,” he admitted. “I don’t know what to do.”

“Apologize?” Lydia offered. 

“Trust me, she doesn’t want to hear those words come from my mouth. The second I even begin, she’ll put an arrow through my eye.”

“It’s been a long time,” Lydia said. 

“It could be thirty years and she wouldn’t care,” Negan said with a sigh. “I get it though, I’d hate me too. I killed the man she loved as she watched. Maggie was pregnant as she watched me beat him to death, Lydia. I ain’t never going to ask her to forgive me.” 

“I would forgive you,” she said. 

“No, you wouldn’t,” Negan said quickly. “Do you forgive Alpha for killing Carol’s boy?” Lydia was silent and that gave him his answer. “Exactly.”

“Okay, so maybe I could never forgive her, but I may have been able to live with her if she had changed like you had,” Lydia posited. 

“You didn’t know me before now, kiddo,” he said. “I was...horrible, but there was still good in me even if it was buried deep. I don’t know if your mom had any of that in her.”

“If you had good in you back then, why did it take you so long to do something about it?” she asked. 

“That is the million-dollar question,” Negan said with another sip of the moonshine. “I wish I had an answer for you, but I don’t. I was a power-hungry asshole who used fear to keep that power. Hell, I may still be that asshole.” 

“You’re not,” Lydia said. “You’re a good person.” Negan gave her a look that spoke louder than his usual snarky candor. “Okay, then you are a person who does good things,” she corrected and Negan nodded, accepting that change. “So, if you can’t apologize to her, what can you do?”

“I can keep out of her way and do everything I can to make sure that nobody hurts these people, especially that little boy of hers.”

“Daryl told me that he looks like his father,” Lydia said. 

“Why are you asking me about all this?” Negan asked, putting down the moonshine and turning towards her fully. Lydia almost looked ashamed in the low light from the camper lantern on the railing behind them.

“Tell me about the war between Alexandrians and the Saviors,” she said. 

“Why?”

“You know about my past,” Lydia rationalized. “I want to know about yours.”

“You want to know about the worst years of my life? That doesn’t seem fair,” Negan said. Lydia shrugged. 

“You met me during mine,” Lydia reminded him. “Come on, tell me something, anything.” Negan looked at her, then he looked around before sighing and leaning against the railing next to him. 

“You really want to know?” 

“I do,” she said. 

“Fine,” he said, running a hand over his stubble. “I’ll tell you about the day I met these people and then maybe you can finally see just who you are spending all your time with.”

Lydia frowned but gestured for him to go on. “I’m listening,” she said. With a heavy sign, Negan looked away from her and stared out at the sleeping community. 

“They attacked first,” Negan began, “though, I suppose that doesn’t matter anymore. Alexandria was in need of food and Hilltop was willing to help as long as they took care of a problem first. You see, Maggie or Tara, or Jesus didn’t always run Hilltop, it used to be this man named Gregory. He was… He was an idiot and not capable of leading a community. He was also a coward which made him easy to control.” 

“You had Hilltop giving you supplies,” Lydia guessed. 

“Right,” Negan said with a nod. “When Rick, Judith’s father, found out, he offered to take down the Saviors if it meant that Hilltop would share their resources. Problem was, Gregory gave them the wrong information. He sent Rick and his people to one of my outposts, not the main factory. They killed everyone in the satellite station, most while they were sleeping.” 

“Just like that? No warning?” Lydia asked. 

“Just like that,” Negan said, remembering the rage he had felt when Simon had told him what happened that night. “When I found out, I sent a group of my men to take out a few of theirs. Though it didn’t matter because your friend Daryl blew them up with an RPG.” Lydia’s brow raised at that, clearly surprised. “That was the last straw and so I had to do something.”

“The ambush,” Lydia said. 

“You know about that, huh?”

“Carol told me some, but not all,” she said. 

“Well, Carol wasn’t there,” Negan said. “Yes, it was an ambush. I set up roadblocks a lot like the ones I used to keep you all from leaving Hilltop when I was helping your mother. We corralled them and forced them into a clearing not too far from here. They were trying to get Maggie to Hilltop, I think there was something wrong with her baby.” 

“Herschel?” 

“Yeah,” Negan said, casting his eyes down. “I made them get on their knees and I threatened them. To be honest I didn’t think I was going to kill more than one of them, but I was on this...high and I couldn’t stop.” 

“What happened next?”

“I told Rick what was going to happen and then I killed a man named Abraham. He was close with Rosita, I think,” Negan said, remembering everything Gabriel had once told him about his victims. “It was brutal and bloody, but I couldn’t feel anything.” 

“Why do you think that is?”

“I couldn’t tell you, kid,” Negan said. “I have tried for so long to figure out why I was like that, but I don’t know.” 

“What happened next?”

“Daryl punched me in the face,” Negan said with a humorless laugh. 

“Seriously?” Negan nodded. 

“I had warned them not to move and when Daryl hit me, I lost it. That’s when I killed Glenn, Maggie’s husband. I beat him until his head was nothing but brains. Right fucking in front of his sick and pregnant wife,” Negan said as he let his eyes close. “When it was happening, I didn’t feel a thing. I didn’t realize what was happening, but afterwards… I knew what I had done and more importantly what I had done to her. The way she looked at me after that was as if she had already decided I was bound for Hell. Shit, I know I am, but I knew then that she wanted to be the one to send me there.”

“Why him? Why Glenn and not Daryl or the leader, Judith’s father?” Lydia asked, patient as ever. Negan thought about it for a moment thinking over everything that had happened in the last eight years or so, thinking about the way he approached scenarios. He always knew the “how”, but never the “why”?. The truth was, he never had an answer for any of it. 

“I don’t know,” he whispered. “I don’t think I cared enough to know, Lydia.” Negan finally turned to look at her and it took her a moment, but eventually saw the earnest look in his eyes. Negan was telling her the truth. However, that was never in doubt. It was rare when the man died, especially when it came to kids. 

“What about Carl?” she asked suddenly, realizing she wasn’t going to get an answer about Maggie’s husband. 

“Carl? How do you know about him?” Negan asked. 

“Daryl told me when I found one of his shirts in Michonne’s house,” Lydia explained. “He was her son?” 

“Stepson,” Negan clarified. “Sort of. I don’t know if Michonne and Rick ever made it official, but yes, he was Rick’s son and Judith’s older brother. Smart as hell, braver than anyone in this damn world. Carl cared about everything and more. He was someone you wanted to be around, you know? No matter the shit situation you were in, Carl fucking Grimes was there to look on the bright side,” Negan said with a small smile. 

“You cared about him,” Lydia said. It wasn’t a question. 

“I did,” Negan said with a frown. “That damn kid believed in me for some reason and I always threw it back in his face. Then it was too fucking late for me to do anything about it.”

“When did he die?” Lydia asked. 

“Right before the war ended.”

“How?” 

“Kid was saving Siddiq,” Negan said. “He was trying to help the Doc when he got bit. Carl didn’t tell anyone until it was too late, but he wrote letters to explain.” 

“He wrote one to you?” 

“He did, Michonne read it to me,” Negan said with a finality that didn’t have Lydia asking more questions about what the letter entailed. She figured it was something that would have to stay with Negan and Michonne alone. 

“Did you get to say goodbye?”

“No,” Negan said. “Rick told me he died the day after it happened. I spoke to him that night and he never told me he was bit.” 

“Seems unfair,” Lydia whispered. 

“Isn’t everything?” Negan asked. Lydia looked at him for a moment before scooting closer to him and leaning into his side. Negan didn’t hesitate to pull her closer to him, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. They were both quiet for a moment before Lydia had another question. 

“Do you think they would have liked me? Rick and Carl,” Lydia asked. 

“Yes,” Negan said firmly. “Rick would have loved you, Carl, too. Hell, Judith loves you.”

“You’re very protective of her,” Lydia noticed. 

“Yeah,” Negan said, rubbing Lydia’s arm, trying to reassure her in some way. 

“Why?”

“Because her brother asked me to,” Negan said simply. Lydia sat up then, looking at him with confusion. Negan, knowing she wanted more, continued. “Before he died, Carl and I spoke briefly. I had come to Alexandria to cause chaos and I met Judith. She was so small, unable to talk at the time. Carl didn’t want me around, but I think he knew I would never hurt her. Before his father came home, Carl asked me for something.” 

“What?”

“He said that no matter what happened between my people and his, he wanted my assurance that Judith would be safe. I told him I would die before something happened to that little girl. Anyone who hurts a kid deserves to die. When he died, I made a promise to myself that if she was ever in danger, I would do anything I could to keep her safe.” 

“Like when you saved her when the blizzard happened,” Lydia said, remembering the story Judith had told her. 

“I have always been a damn sucker,” Negan said, looking down at her. Lydia smiled as she leaned back into him. 

“I’m glad you are,” Lydia said. “Or else I’d be pretty dead right about now.”

“I ain’t gonna let anyone hurt you,” Negan promised. Lydia smiled at that as she sat with the man that had become like a father to her. 

“Do you think you and Maggie could ever be...decent?” Negan laughed at that, but it was more bitter than anything. 

“I don’t think we could ever be civil, Lydia,” Negan said. “What I did to her cannot be fixed with a few good deeds and an apology. Nobody here cares whether I live or day besides maybe Judith.” 

“And me,” Lydia corrected. 

“Yeah, and you,” Negan said with a small smile as he pressed a kiss to the top of her head. 

Lydia and Negan sat there as the words from his story settled in her mind. Lydia had known a lot about what Negan was and what he had done, but hearing what he thought about it all had offered her a new understanding about the man. 

Regardless of what happened next, Lydia wasn’t going to turn her back on him. Negan had saved her life, more than once, and nothing would make her leave him behind. She knew that the council was still debating on what to do with Negan, but Lydia couldn’t think about that. He was the only person who she could fully rely on because he had met her at her lowest. 

Letting out a breath, Lydia let her eyes close as she listened to his breathing. Daryl had always spoken about a chosen family and now Lydia was sure that she had chosen Negan and nothing was going to separate them. Not Maggie, not the council, and definitely not the screwed up world that had tried to take them down but failed. 

They were stronger than all of it and together, they would prove it. 

TAGS: @thanossexual​ @felicisimor​ @yes-sir-hotchner​ @lucillethings​ @stark-dreams​ @huffledor-able541​ @please-help-this-little-bisexual​ 

[iplaydrake]

FULL CIRCLE - CHAPTER 12 - CHANCE WORTH TAKING

Catch Up Here :

CHAPTER 11 - JUST TO SEE YOU SMILE

Current Author’s Note : HUGE SHOUT-OUT TO @ao719 for giving life to Aria Lockwood! She would NOT exist without you, girl! No seriously... I literally just wrote her in! 😊

Main Author’s Note : HUGE THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO REBLOGS, LIKES, OR EVEN JUST READS!!! ITS WHY I KEEP GOING!!! As always, positive feedback, constructive criticism, and reblogging are always welcome. I own nothing except the storyline of my MC. Everything else belongs to Pixelberry.

Pairing: Drake x MC

Song Inspiration : Chance Worth Taking - Mitchell Tenpenny

Tag List: @likethetailofacomet @carabeth @rhymesmenagerie@speedyoperarascalparty @butindeed @wannabemc2 @client-327@jovialyouthmusic @be-still-my-aching-heart@riseandshinelittleblossom @lodberg @drakesensworld @alj4890@rainbowsinthestorm @ao719 @andy-loves-corgis@drakewalkerisreal @whenyourheartskipsabeat@furiousherringoperatortoad @silentcoyotesong@choicesmacmakes @ladyangel70 @lady-alex-keith @notoriouscs@lynne1993 @qammh-blog @gnatbrain @sirbeepsalot@crookedslimecreatorpasta @moneyfordiamonds@annekebbphotography @desiree-0816 @emichelle @addictedtodrakefanfic

The smell of food carried as she walked the now familiar hall to his room. She dropped a big bag at the nurses’ station with a wink to the men and women she’d gotten to know over the last few days before continuing on her way.

She’d nearly passed out from sheer exhaustion in the shower when she'd gotten home, somehow managing to drag herself to her bed before falling asleep with nothing more than her towel on. She woke up hours later, panicking when she realized how long she’d been out and, after changing and doing a quick check-in with Drake's doctors, she packed a bag for herself with a set of clothes for him and headed back to the hospital, deciding only at the last minute to make a quick detour first.

She paused outside his door to calm the leftovers of her nerves before knocking and opening it, peeking only her head in. “Hey, you look like you're feeling better... Are you hungry?"

“For you?” He sat up slowly, smirking as she rolled her eyes and sighed dramatically. Even still, she was unable to contain her smile.

“Close your eyes.”

“Oh yeah! I definitely like where this is going!”

She laughed, waiting for him to comply and stepping in once he did. “No peeking!” She dragged his overbed tray towards her, placing her phone along with 2 large bags on it. “Ok, you can look now!” He opened his eyes, noticing first the excitement on her face as she bounced on her toes; the bags second, the smell that emanated from them and the familiar logo: Spiros. He met her eyes again as she spoke. “I know it’s not the same, but I figured we could have that date you promised me... I talked to the doctor and he said you didn’t have any restrictions food-wise, just to go easy and… I, uh, I probably should have called you to make sure you were up for it before I-”

“It's perfect. You… Are perfect... I can’t believe you did this!” She blushed under his stare and he reached out, grabbing her and drawing her to him. His hands wrapped in her hair as he tenderly pressed his lips to hers, slowly pulling back after a few minutes and resting his forehead against hers with a smile as he spoke. “Damn, I love kissing you.”

She kissed him once more before she stood up and began setting up their dinner, placing the different foods on the table in front of him. The chime of her phone interrupted them. “Can you grab that for me?” Drake picked it up, sliding his finger across the screen to unlock it.

He chuckled as he read the messages. “Someone named Peaches wants to know if you’re under me or on top of me… At least I’m hoping it’s me she’s talking about. And who’s Glenn Coco?”

“Glenn Co-” She grabbed the phone out of his hand, laughing to herself as she sent a quick message back and put it back down on the table. “That’s Aria… She’s my friend from New York… Actually, she’s probably my only friend.” The sadness in her voice was gone as quick as it came, but it didn’t go unnoticed by Drake as he watched her shuffle around him, finally situating herself on the other side of the table at the edge of his bed. She spoke up when she saw the pitied look he was giving her.

“Drake, it’s fine, really. I don’t trust people. And with Aria, I literally had no choice… She forced herself into my life.”

“Ok, so tell me about her.”

“Well… I met her in nursing school and ended up getting her a job at the same bar I’m at. She’s this tiny thing with the biggest mouth; no filter as you can clearly see from her messages… Actually, you two would probably get along really well. She has no problem saying what’s on her mind.” He smiled as she continued. “She likes to tell me all the time that she challenged herself to become my friend because of how introverted I was… She says she only had 3 goals: finish school, find a gorgeous husband, and get me to like her. We’ve kinda been best friends ever since, even though she knows I still keep her at arm’s length… She was a huge part of helping me try to get past everything despite not even knowing what happened. I mean, before her, I was sure that no one had good intentions. I still don’t trust anyone but at least now, I’m willing to make some kind of an effort.”

Drake's heart constricted at her admission, unable to stop feeling like he was partially to blame for what happened. “Remi, I know you don’t want to talk about what happened and I completely understand… I just… I want you to know that you can if you ever need to.”

She took a deep breath before looking up to meet his eyes, smiling. “Ugh, this conversation seems way too heavy for a first date, don’t you think?!” She finished with a small, uncomfortable laugh. She focused on the food in front of her, desperate to find something lighter to talk about, but everything that came to mind had a backstory of sadness to it. Before she could think of anything, Drake cleared his throat and spoke up.

“So, I had a plan when I asked you out that night…”

“Oh, yeah?”

“Yeah…” He smiled, hoping to calm the tension that suddenly engulfed them in the room. “I would have waited until after we’d finished our dinner but if I’ve learned anything from this experience, it’s that we shouldn’t take any time we have together for granted. That being said… Spending time with you this past week and getting to know you all over again has made it that much clearer that I want to be with you, Remi. I want us the way we planned to be all those years ago… I want a future with you... I know that neither of us are the same people we were back then, but that’s what makes this feel right; the fact that despite how different we are now, we still fit… We still make sense.”

She shook her head, struggling to keep her composure at his words. “And what if it doesn’t work, Drake? What if something bad happens and we end up hurting each other? I don’t think we’d be able to come back from that and I don’t want to lose what we are to each other now.”

He brushed his thumb across her cheek, hoping she’d meet his gaze, but continuing when she didn’t. “Listen, I’m sure there’s gonna be times where we do hurt each other, but that’s a chance I’m willing to take because I know we belong together. What’ll matter most at the end of the day is how hard we fight for each other when that time comes… I’ll promise you right now that I’ll protect your heart with everything I have. All you have to do is jump, baby. Jump in with me… All the way.”

She finally looked up at him, nodding as tears fell from her eyes. “Okay… Okay, Drake.”

“Yeah?” The huge smile he wore was contagious and Remi couldn’t contain her own as she laughed.

“Yeah!”

He pushed the table to the side and grabbed her arm, drawing her closer. He reached up with his good hand to cup her cheek and he quickly pressed his lips to hers before pulling her into a tight hug.

After finishing their meal, they spent the rest of the night in each others' arms; Remi taking care to not hurt him as she curled into his side while they talked, both enjoying the happiness of their moment, and leaving the rest of the world outside his room.

*****

Drake was released from the hospital the next day, with strict instructions from the doctors that included rest and no strenuous activity. He'd tried to put up a fight on that one, earning a glare from the doctor and a blush from Remi when they realized his reasons. It was only after Remi assured the doctor he'd follow her orders, that Drake was wheeled out to Remi's SUV. After staying in Valtoria for 2 weeks helping Drake recover, they headed to Applewood together to meet up with the rest of the court.

*****

Remi stretched, smiling as she heard the soft snore coming from the other side of the bed. She leaned over, kissing him softly before slipping out of bed and heading to her room to get ready for her day. After showering, she picked up her phone to check the time, hurrying to finish before heading down to breakfast with their friends. As she walked into the dining room, she spotted Liam and Olivia, Savannah and Bertrand, and Hana and Maxwell all sitting around the table. Liam looked up, smiling at her before standing to kiss her cheek. “Hey, you! Is Drake not coming?”

“I thought he was. He must still be sleeping... I’ll be right back, go ahead and start without us!” She turned and headed out, quickly making her way towards the west wing of the estate. Halfway to Drake’s room, she was stopped abruptly by a booming voice from the opposite end of the hall.

“Dear sweet lord, dost my eyes deceive me?! Remington Beaumont?!” She turned with a shake of her head, watching Liam’s older brother make his way towards her. Aside from their handsome looks, the two were polar opposites.

“Leo Rhys… You still have a flare for the dramatics!”

“Life would be boring without it, Goose!”

She giggled as he pulled her into a hug, sweeping her off her feet and twirling her around. “What are you doing here?”

“Well, you know, a little birdy told me that not only were you back but you were more gorgeous than ever… So, I just had to see it to believe it.”

“Yeah well, I’m pretty sure that same little birdy told me you’d screwed your way through all the hearts in the Mediterranean and had to move on to the States.”

He put his hand to his chest, pretending to be hurt. “Ouch… That cut me deep…” He said, finishing with a smile. “Speaking of hearts, I heard you captured an asshole…”

Hearing that caused her to laugh out loud. “First of all, how is that speaking of hearts?! And second… Yes, I did!”

It was Leo’s turn to laugh. “So… Where is he?”

“Um, I’m not sure, actually… He was supposed to meet me a few minutes ago, but he probably slept in. I was just heading back to his room to check on him.”

“I’ll head over there with you!” They made their way towards Drake’s room and as they turned the corner, Remi stopped suddenly, causing Leo to walk right into her. “Whoa, did you forget how to walk?... Goose?... What is it?” She stared ahead, saying nothing and Leo turned to see Drake and Kiara outside his room, his hand on her arm. “They’re just talk-” He stopped mid-sentence, catching the look Kiara threw over Drake’s shoulder before she pulled him into a kiss.

Want to continue? Click below for the next chapter :

CHAPTER 13 - THERE GOES MY EVERYTHING 

[hippychick006]

15.01 Back and to the Future - Episode Recap/Review

Finally managed to find time to watch the episode all the way through.  I miss the old days where nothing would have stopped me watching it as soon as it aired, but those days are long gone. 

I’ve put the review under a cut to avoid triggering those that don’t like criticism of the show and think everyone who watches should only see the same rainbows, puppies and sunshine they appear to view when they watch it.  If this is you, it’s easy to just scroll on by or block “spn critical”, but I personally won’t stop making posts that cover both things I love about the show and things that lead to eye twitching.

We open on the last ever road so far of the series (sniffles).  As I’m useless as always with identifying music, Shazam advises me the montage was done to the music of Bob Segar and The Silver Bullet Band.  “The Famous Final Scene”. Lyrics are worth noting here:

Think in terms of bridges burned Think of seasons that must end See the rivers rise and fall They will rise and fall again Everything must have an end Like an ocean to a shore Like a river to a stream Like a river to a stream It's the famous final scene

And how you tried to make it work Did you really think it could How you tried to make it last Did you really think it would Like a guest who stayed too long Now it's finally time to leave Yes, it's finally time to leave Take it calmly and serene It's the famous final scene

It's been coming on so long You were just the last to know It's been a long time since you've smiled Seems like oh so long ago Now the stage has all been set And the nights are growing cold Soon the winter will be here And there's no one warm to hold Now the lines have all been read And you knew them all by heart Now you move toward the door Here it comes the hardest part Try the handle of the road Feeling different feeling strange This can never be arranged As the light fades from the screen From the famous final scene

 How dare they!  I’m feeling feelings!

Kudos to shazam by the way for identifying the music, even over the dialogue. Impressive.

I like that we open through Jack’s burned out eyes to the fighting taking place and the final verse of the song continues during this scene. The boys are doing well, and Badass!Castiel has made an appearance. Hello and welcome to the only version of Castiel I can watch these days.

Great scene of the brothers fighting side by side as they escape through the graveyard, flying Sam and ninja kicking Dean, great to watch and what I’m here for.  

I like the titles for this season, someone else did a great post on this (as long as you ignore the bi purple reference in their otherwise great analysis!).  I personally associate pink/purple with endings and beginnings and I would suggest this is much more likely what the season is about than Dean wanting to get it on with a 2000 year old beam of light in a corpse, but you know, what do Jensen and I know about Dean’s sexuality, am I right?

As always, I like the scenery and lighting so far, the show always does a superb job with both of these and another reason I continue to watch.

However, I am gravely disappointed we didn’t get the demon/ghosts/zombies/what the fuck ever dancing to Thriller, possibly that will come on the gag reel. We can live in hope, because otherwise it’s a missed opportunity.

Sam and Dean standing in front of the door together. Love it.  Any little brother moment makes me happy these days.

Poor Sam, he’s asked Castiel if he can heal Jack. ☹ Of course not, Sam, it’s only episode 15.01. Sheesh.  We have 19 episodes to go.  Pace yourself.

I think some of the dialogue in the mausoleum scene is the weakest in the episode and some of the delivery wasn’t great.  I can’t think of a more boring storyline than manufactured drama between Castiel and  Dean - yawn!  I’m also long past Castiel’s not understanding references stick. “I wouldn’t starve” That would have been funny season 4/5.   Now… not so much.  Also, thanks to Dabb, I don’t have any characters that I’m worried about dying. I know Jack will be back and I have the opposite problem with Castiel.  I didn’t feel any urgency in the whole opening scene.  Just, meh.

I do like however that during Dean getting worked up over Chuck, we see Sam getting distracted in the background and he sneaks off and we know he’s looking for a solution to their current predicament.

Dean eventually notices his brother has wandered off and asks what Sam’s got. Sam suggests there might be a drainage pipe or something.  Dean thinks they’re not that lucky and suggests sewer line.  Oh boys.

Brothers working together to break through the brickwork is what I think most of us are here for.  

RME at Sam and Dean stepping back from the zombie coming through the brickwork they’ve just opened up as if they’ve never hunted anything in their life. Either one (or both because that would have been cool) could have stuck the iron bars they were holding into the zombies head, but no, they needed the side character to rescue them.  So Dabb’s still not averse to making his leads look dumb in order for his side characters to have a purpose. Awesome writing, said no critic of Dabb ever.

Having said that, I have a weakness for people protecting Sam “fucking” Winchester and we get that in the very next scene where Castiel and Dean are slightly in front of Sam when Jack makes an appearance.  

Sam thinks Jack is alive. ☹

Immediately loving Demon B (can’t spell whatever his actual name is), love that Alex is getting the chance to do another character, and he’s killing it so far.  

Dean and Castiel have an argument about whether to listen to the demon, which is settled by Sam saying quietly, “Cass… Dean’s right.” Castiel stops.  Sastiel for the win y’all!

Lucky that spell was so easy, huh?  Hmm, graveyard dirt and angel blood might come in handy this season.   And if you were lucky enough to miss the Heller “Destiel is end game” meta on this spell, consider yourselves incredibly lucky and do not under any circumstances go looking for it.  

Two teenage girls we don’t know are doing what I presume is teenage girl stuff (which I never did by the way, but I might be unusual in that respect). I fear they are the red shirts of this episode so are not long for this world.  Those fears are confirmed when we see Bloody Mary in the mirror.  I’m more than a little confused since nobody said, “Bloody Mary”, let alone 3 times, so how on earth is she doing her mojo?  Anyway, spoiler alert, two girls we don’t care about die.  

Meanwhile, back in the Impala, which has 2 humans, a moody angel and a demon in Jack’s body, we find out 2-3 billion souls might be able to get out of hell through the rift that opened up in the graveyard.   Demon B says he knows a spell that will contain the current ones within a mile of the cemetery which might buy them some time.  Castiel says there’s a town that’s within that distance which would be in danger, so they decide they need to evacuate it and then perform the spell.  As they are talking about all of this, they come across an abandoned car.  Another great brother scene here where Dean and Sam investigate the car together.  Sam seems to flashback to the woman in white from the pilot.  

Sam: This could be our woman in white”.  

Dean: Dude, we sent her to hell years ago.  

Sam: Yeah, she could be back.  

Dean: Well, if she’s back, then they’re all back.  Every last one that we ever killed.

The next scene shows a woman with a child running through a house and there’s blood everywhere.  Again, I’ve got no emotional connection to them so this entire scene is meh for me, even with the child. Sorry.  If I’m going to be perfectly honest, the mom is kind of annoying for me.  Is it bad that I’m currently rooting for the ghosts?

Fast forward this scene, and it’s now daylight. How far did they drive?  Like Jack was killed in daylight, then it got dark – but I think that was Chuck’s doing, and now it’s light again.  I’m going to presume all of the graveyard stuff was 1 hour before dawn, otherwise the timing doesn’t make sense to me.  Anyway, Sam gets out of the car, he’s posing as an FBI agent which gets the suspicion of the local sheriff because that is not regulation FBI hair Sam!  

Meanwhile, Dean suggests Castiel go with “Crowley Junior” to get everything he needs for his spell.  Castiel refuses, he can’t even look at the demon wearing Jack’s body.  Suck it Castiel.  You’re a few millennials old angel, just get the job done ffs and stop being a wuss. Sam and Dean lost Jack too and you don’t see either of them crying into their coco pops!  Grrrr.  

Due to Cass being a weenie, we get brother separation from about half-way through the episode.  Sam with Castiel (Sastiel fans rejoice) and Dean with Demon B.

Castiel leaves the car and joins Sam who is still trying to convince the local sheriff to evacuate the town due to “the pipeline outside of town.” which Sam says has sprung a leak. Sheriff: What pipeline? Oh Sam.  Sam handles it well though, he goes into annoyed mode, which seems to work as the sheriff agrees he can move the towns people up to the high school which he says is 5 miles away.  I like Sam looking silently at Castiel here to check if that’s far enough, which Castiel confirms.

Meanwhile back at the car, Supernatural is as unsubtle as ever, we have a shot of Dean putting the god kiling gun/colt (not sure which) in the glove compartment. Hmm, idly wonders if Demon B is going to steal it at some point.

Demon B thinks Dean is gorgeous.  Calm tf down hellers, Dean is uncomfortable because he considers the meat suit the demon is wearing to be “our son, kind of” (his words, not mine).  Dean asks what Demon B needs to perform the spell and luckily it only requires a bag of salt… and a human heart.

Sam and Castiel are going house to house.  I like the difference between the two, Sam is wandering through the house, gun aimed and ready. Castiel holds the gun loosely at his side. Oh Castiel.  Castiel finds the two girls that were killed by bloody Mary.  Sam finds the little girl and her mom from the earlier scene. Sam is so good with the little girl, but putting his weapon down is a great big anvil to what’s coming next, particularly when Sam says “Everything’s going to be fine”.  

Hurt!Sam alert, but it comes with lame!ghost alert.  I mean that ghost clown is bad. I’m not sure how I feel about Sam still being afraid of this loser, plus he got over clowns several seasons ago, so why have him acting afraid.  Luckily, side character Castiel is here once again to be the hero of the show. Wait, what?

Back with Demon B and we find out he is a fanboy of torturer!Dean.  We also learn that the cage door is open, which means our dimension Michael (and likely brother Adam) is loose.

Castiel heals Sam (and repairs his clothing – have we seen this skill before or is this another continuity error?).  The mom is shocked and Castiel explains he’s an angel.  She asks about the clown, which Sam says was a ghost.  The woman asks about Sam and he says, he’s “just a guy” which is completely inaccurate, especially when his next sentence is “When I shot god…”

Castiel remembers that Sam’s injured and insists on seeing Sam’s shoulder wound and he’s not taking Sam’s bull “it’s nothing, it’s fine…”   So much Sastiel, and I really wish I could get behind this ship, but I won’t ever forgive the panic room, blaming Sam for the apocalpyse, or the bringing down of Sam’s hell wall amongst many other betrayals.  Love Sastiel shippers though and glad they are getting all the cookies.

Ok the vision scene, I’ve seen people thinking it’s Castiel that sees the vision, but it looks like it was Sam to me by the way he reacts, but it’s not 100% clear so it’ll be interesting how this progresses, particularly since the wound has an energy that Castiel’s never felt before.  I also don’t think it’s a vision, but a glimpse of one of the alternate realities. Sam goes back to insisting he’s fine and luckily he gets a call from the sheriff so Castiel can’t call him out on it.

Guys, I’m getting a bad feeling that the sheriff isn’t going to be around much longer.   A feeling that just grows when he comes across a lady wearing white and…

…what the hell?  That isn’t our Constance!  Great cheek bones though.  I have chipmunk cheeks like Paul McCartney so always jealous of great cheekbones.

Demon B and Dean are struggling with the heart ingredient. Dean’s thinking morgue, Demon B is a little fussy and would prefer fresh…

…  Wait a minute… was that a scream?  How fortuitous that I think Demon B’s about to get his spell ingredient.  Poor sheriff.  Damn you show!

Uh, Castiel and Sam, I don’t want to teach you how to do your job, but one in front, one behind the survivors would have been the way I’d have done it.  Horror movie survival 101. Just fyi. Plus your walk is not in sync.

See, I told you one of you should have walked behind! One of your survivors just wandered off and is now in danger and neither of you even noticed.

I’m getting whiplash again from the frequent scene changes during this entire segment, I hate when they do this.  Back with Demon B and Dean who realises the air is cold.  

Uh no Constance bitch, Dean did not take you home.  Sam did, but what is canon on this show any longer? Anyway, Dean gets thrown and knocked out.

Back with Castiel and Sam, clown ghost appears.  Castiel: “It’s just one ghost.”  

They walk closer and two more ghosts appear, Castiel, “…just three…”  Oh dear.

Sam and Castiel start shooting the ghosts.  Sam accidentally shoots Castiel instead of Lizzie Borden (I think it’s her), but given it’s rock salt, Castiel is okay.  While they have a “you shot me moment”, they take their eyes off the third ghost. I am not shocked at all that the third ghost takes advantage of their stupidity and tackles Sam to the ground.

Back with Demon B who is telling Constance she is a “Bad ghost.  Bad!”

Sam is getting whaled on.  Let’s put this down to his shoulder injury because otherwise Sam “fucking” Winchester has completely forgotten how to fight this episode.

Back with Demon B and Dean rescues him using iron to dispel Constance.  Great job Dean!  A+

Which gets reduced to a B- since the very next scene Dean throws his only weapon away.  Dean come on! This is horror movie survival 101.  I’m questioning your 30+ years of training at this point.  

Back with Sam, little girl survivor is entranced by a pond, which suddenly has a woman appear in it.  Sneak attack from Bloody Mary.  If that face had appeared at night and the pond water had not had an anvil dropped on it several times over the last few minutes, I might have been a little scared, but nope.

Back with Dean and Demon B who start the spell. Going back and forth between this and Castiel and Sam who are still getting whaled on.  Well actually, Sam is getting whaled on, Castiel is doing okay. Ooh, kick to the face shot on Sam. Hurry up Demon B.  The pretty is getting hurt!

Lovely, Sam “fucking” Winchester gets rescued for the third time in a single episode.   We may have to remove the middle name until Sam’s allowed to be a competent hunter again!

Demon B finishes the spell and it’s quite impressive, we see a light zoom towards Castiel and Sam that comes to an end a few hundred yards down the road -  which means they are still in the same zone as the ghosts, which all appear again. This spell looks like a firewall and I’m wondering if my firewall theory might ye be a possibility.

Sam tells Castiel to get the others across the line. Castiel doesn’t want to agree but Sam insists.  Sam stays behind to hold off the ghosts saying “bring it” and… his gun clicks empty. Oh Sam, this is a really bad day for you.

Sam gives his “look how cute I am smile” and starts running.  I have absolutely no idea why the ghosts are running.  They were able to appear a few seconds ago, I would think this would be faster.  

We do really need someone to edit the Benny Hill Yackety Sax music into this chase scene because it isn’t the least bit scary.  I’m sorry.

I like Sam protecting the little girl as he thinks he’s about to get stabbed, but in the first lucky moment of Sam’s really, terrible bad day, they made it just across the invisible barrier.

Lame Ghost!clown is a tad upset and whines.  Sam tells him to “Shut up!” Yeah Sammy!   With a final glare at the ghosts, Sam follows Castiel and the 2 survivors as they walk away.

They get back to Dean who drives them to the school. The impala is now even more full with 2 Winchesters, a still moody angel, demon B and 2 survivors.

Sam walks the survivors over to the school building and he’s just… sigh.  

However, I quickly realise this means we’re going to get a Dean and Castiel scene and prepare to cringe.  Dean asks Castiel: “You ok?”  Castiel: “Yes, but…”  Dean: “Good” and he walks away.  

Okaaaay, that went better than I was anticipating.  I do think Castiel was about to tell Dean about Sam’s shoulder injury though (because let’s face it, those two only talk about Sam or on rare occasions, Jack) so Dean not knowing about the “energy” Castiel felt might come back to bite later because Sam’s definitely not going to tell him about it.

Demon B thinks it was awkward, and I agree.

Okay, everyone shhhh!  It’s the 20th last ever broment!  Dean wants to take care of Sam’s injury. Sam’s “fine”. Dean’s not having any of it and insists.   Dean distracts Sam with a story from their childhood and these are the moments I continue to watch the show for!  

They talk about Chuck, Dean thinks they’ve had no free will, that they are just rats in a maze and he’s questioning what any of it ever meant. Sam ever the optimist believes they made a difference, that they saved people.  He thinks Chuck’s gone and that means it’s just them.  

Dean: and about 3 billion ghosts

Sam:  Yeah, well, what’s one more apocalypse, right?...   But seriously, if we win, when we win this, god’s gone. There’s no one to screw with us. There’s no more rats in a maze, it’s just us.  And we’re free.

Dean: “So, you and me, verse every soul in hell…. I like those odds.”

Sam smiles: “Yeah, me too.”

Dean: “Well, you know what that means?”                                               

Sam: “We’ve got work to do.” Sam closes the trunk and we flashback to pilot!Sam doing the same thing.

How dare you show.  Now I obviously need to go do some dusting… as my house has suddenly become dusty or my spring allergies are playing up a couple of seasons early...  

Other than some lame, eye rolling moments that I’ve covered throughout, I didn’t mind this episode, and I didn’t mind the separation. I’ve said before I don’t mind some brother separation, I like the different dynamics we get to see, but if we get a lot of brother separation again, I will not be such a happy bunny.  Don't care about other people’s views on this, but that’s mine.  I’m primarily watching for J2′s chemistry and you can’t get that if they aren’t on screen together.

I’m interested so far in where we’re headed which is good.  The only thing I’m not interested in which I commented on earlier is the 😴 fest (imo) that appears to be the Dean and Cass falling out that’s still hovering since last season. My main concern right now is that Dean will be made to apologise at some point and placate the wooby angel’s hurt feelings with a soap opera esque dramatic scene (which Dabb will cry while he writes it and' I’ll cry for entirely different reasons while I endure it) . Dean will no doubt declare yet again that Castiel is “brother/family” which will be as meaningless as the other times he’s said it.  

I’ve never been here for a storyline less than this one. And that includes Amelia that at least gave us great hair Sam, soft focus Sam, Sam with a dog and jealous!Dean.

I really hope I’m completely wrong and that Dabb won’t throw one of his lead characters under the bus in favour of a side character, but... then I remember it’s Dabb and he has thrown his lead characters under a bus for the sake of side characters.

All this is just my speculation.  It may or may not come to pass, but I like to get my concerns down so I can work through them.  

[quarantingz]

slow mornings, impermanence and turning 21

10 April 2020 9:32 am (but I started writing this 30 minutes prior)

I’m currently sitting out on the deck, listening to Leon Bridges and Khruangbin’s Midnight which has quickly become one of my favourite tunes for slow mornings like this. I made myself a flat white, without which any morning would feel not empty but lacking. Of energy and warmth. Cathy and I decided to deviate from our usual Karajoz beans and opted for a more economical 1kg bag of this Italian brand of coffee beans so we don’t have to keep going back to the supermarket which to be honest I didn’t even mind. The sole fact that it was an outside activity and I could be in the presence of and observe other human beings for an hour made it a nice pasttime.

I’m looking up at the sky, noticing the shade of blue change from minute to minute. It’s a lighter shade compared to how I saw it two minutes ago. Almost reminiscent of a classic light wash pair of Levi’s denim jeans. I’m staring specifically at this spot between two neighbouring trees where faint clouds have now come into view like smoke wafting from a chimney. I look to my right, eyes fixating on the rows of houses stacked on top of each other just beneath the horizon, framed by power lines that stretch from one end of this distant street to the other. Although from my vantage point it looks like I could walk over to the said street in less than five minutes if I jumped over the fences of the houses that block what would otherwise be a straight path, unguided by concrete roads.

Now Lovely Day by Bill Withers is playing from my Spotify playlist titled ‘21st at the park, eating Mediterranean food’ and I look up at the aforementioned spot in synchronisation with this bird landing on a lanky branch, perched there for a moment. Just as the song switched to Here Comes The Sun by The Beatles, it flies out of my view. A random thought comes to mind: how many times have I seen the same bird without knowing in my existence? Last year in September, we lost our cockatiel Coco who took flight when he saw his chance. Cathy had him on her shoulder when she sneezed and startled poor Coco and sent him flying over to the garage door which was open and out he went. Just like that. Never to be seen again. I was doing work in one of the studios at uni with my friends, WE533 I think that was, when Cathy delivered the heart-wrenching news to me via Instagram. I started crying, to everyone especially Cullen’s surprise. He thought it was the workload stress getting to me and in true Cullz fashion says, “Chill, we good.” I hadn’t cried in front of them before and I chose to do so over a bird. But Coco wasn’t just a bird, we had him for 4 years but I guess birds were meant to fly. Not domesticated and caged throughout their rather long lifespan. About 30 minutes after I let my guard down in front of them, Cat, Shannon and Cullen started dancing. Moving their feet to a non-existent beat in the middle of the room. I was laughing then. One of those sincere, loud chuckles where your mouth contorts into a grin so big your face hurts.

I needed to mourn over my loss even for just a moment, a step which I think we shouldn’t try and skip in times of grief. Whether it’s a breakup or realising you just poured down the pasta water you were supposed to save to help thicken the sauce for your pasta al limone down the drain. Coincidentally, In My Life by The Beatles started playing and it occurred to me how crazy it was that I pieced this birthday playlist together as if I knew I was going to be sitting here a day before turning 21, reflecting on my morning and now inevitably my life as a whole.

There are places I'll remember All my life, though some have changed Some forever, not for better Some have gone, and some remain All these places had their moments With lovers and friends, I still can recall Some are dead, and some are living In my life, I've loved them all

21 is a pivotal age in one’s life, or at least society made us believe that it is. I don’t know what else this year has in store for me but right now I’m more hopeful than ever. Three days ago I was wallowing internally over the fact that my initial birthday plans were all for naught as not even my parents are going to be here to celebrate it with me. But on the same day and in the same hour, I read this article on how companies like Dyson and Ford who don’t design or manufacture medical devices are having to respond to the increase in demand of mechanical ventilators by outputting their own versions. And just like that, my birth week didn’t seem to matter so much. I didn’t seem to matter. I am but a speck, a crumb (ha!) on this planet where countless of other (more important) events are all happening at the same time. This thought brings me comfort more than anything else. At this point I don’t even know where this entry is going as I haven’t attempted to write something ‘postable’ in a while. I guess what I’m trying to get at is that we or at least I need to stop living under societal as well as my own pressure. Since I was little, I’ve always carried this notion with me that I needed to always be striving to achieve something, whether that’s an A+ on a project or a perfectly browned crust on practically anything I bake. In response to Alyssa’s most recent blogpost (that’s right, we’re bloggers now!) why can’t we [I] just do things just cause? Or without there even being a cause. Just do. To be honest right now I’m rummaging through the drawers in my brain for more words to at least try and write an ending to this that makes sense. In doing so, I’m going against exactly what I just said before. Merde.

I guess it’s all human nature. Sometimes I feel too much, my cup filled to the brim and spilling out onto the surface in a messy puddle. Other times I feel nothing at all, staring at nothing and thinking about nothing in particular. Humans are ambivalent, I suppose. I felt alive, empowered and motivated yet light and calm when I first started writing this in my physical journal. Now I’m sitting typing away on my laptop two hours later wanting this entry to mean something. But maybe it doesn’t have to like Alyssa said. With or without readers I’ll just treat all of this as practice. Besides, what got me to put my thoughts into writing in the first place was this line in a book I should’ve taken my time with and not rushed to finish (again, pressure on myself):

“Writer’s block isn’t hard to cure. Just write. Write poorly. Continue to write poorly, in public, until you can write better [...] Do it every day. Every single day. Not a diary, not fiction but analysis. Clear, crisp, honest writing about what you see in the world. Or want to see. Or teach (in writing). If you know you have to write something every single day, even a paragraph, you will improve your writing. The resistance, of course, would rather have you write nothing, not speak in public, keep it under wraps [...] Write like you talk. Often.”

Except I actually don’t talk often which I realised a long time ago. I’m trying to now though as I get older. As cliche as it sounds, this year brought me new lessons as I encountered new people. From guys I’ve gone on a date with to the product development engineers who are also pro badminton players I met at work, they taught me that I need only to be myself around people. And I mean really unapologetically myself. Without comparing myself to anyone else which I spent a lot of time doing in my formative years. Instead of a photo, I’ve decided to share my birthday playlist and use it as the cover of this entry as it includes (almost) every song I’ve ever loved and abused by playing repeatedly throughout these years. So I guess I present to you: the soundtrack of my life. 🙃

Now to carry on with my day and make my own rendition of the Mediterranean food I was supposed to have with my friends and family tomorrow night for my birthday... 

- p