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ivory-haired-queens-blog · 5 years ago

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Unpopular Opinions: Fandom Edition

Hey none of you asked but I’m here to deliver so here are some unpopular opinions for the fandoms I’m in. Spoilers, duh.

Marvel:

I don’t like Natasha. Or Steve.

Pepper Potts is a top.

As much as I love Loki, his death was nessicary in Infinity War.

Steve should have killed Bucky in Civil War. He was a threat, plain and simple.

I ship Ironstrange/Supremefamily.

Clint should have died in Infinity War.

I love Tony Stark with my whole heart. (Not an unpopular opinion but you needed to know that)

I’m not happy with the end of Endgame.

10 years in the making....for you to do Thor like that?

Not because he’s fat or because he’s dealing with trauma, that’s totally acceptable.

What’s not acceptable is them making Thor into the butt of the joke because he’s fat.

I love the Antman movies.

I’m totally not biased because I loved lost.

(I’m kinda biased)

Shuri is the best Marvel character and would beat Tony Stark in a battle of wits.

(I’m so gay I love her.)

With as many years as Marvel has had the MCU, I am disgusted at the lack of diversity within the movies.

Like it’s 2019 and we JUST got a female empowerment scene in Endgame.

Like I want a gay superhero.

(We have a disabled one thank god. Love you Stephen.)

And don’t give me that Valkyrie/Captain Marvel BS because they never blatantly stated or showed it in their movies.

I want an Asian superhero bitch.

A superhero who is Muslim/Islam/and religion besides Christian.

I think that, as much as I hate Natasha and Steve, they should have been the ones that Bruce first sees in Infinity War. I know it set up the whole “earth is closed today” sequence but it didn’t make sense and was OOC.

I love Stephen Strange and he’s never done a single thing wrong ever in his life I would die for this man.

I like MCU Peter Parker over the origional movie Spider-Man.

Fight me.

I also like the Tony Stark/Peter Parker better than the Uncle Ben/Peter Parker so @ me.

The 100

I don’t ship Bellarke that hard.

Like yes, I think they’re obviously being groomed to end up together. I know the show runners will make them official before the end of the series. I’m not mad about that, I just don’t really care to be honest. It’s like, too obvious.

But there are some cute bellarke scenes

What they did to Monty was bullshit but what they did to Jasper was worse.

I feel no guilt whatsoever in saying that I think that killing all of Mount Weather was what they should have done from the beginning.

Yes, even the kids. Because if you kill their leaders, the men and women will fight back. The colony would have been left with a handful of adults, and a bunch of kids if the origional plan had worked. This is doomed to fail and honestly just killing them all would be better than seeing them kill eachother for food, power, whatever. If that makes sense.

I think that Finn deserved to die.

I think that Murphey deserves the world.

Charlotte fucking killed Wells. Yes she’s young but she knows better than to kill someone. Maybe not kill her, but we all know that Clarke wouldn’t have banished her like she did Murphey. Clarke has a gender bias because Murphey didn’t do anything and she wouldn’t have punished Charlotte as hard because she’s a young girl. I rest my case

Even though what he did was bad and wrong, I don’t think Murphey should have been banished. He’s right. They were all compliant and even excited when he was being hung, but when it’s a little girl all bets are off.

Like Bellamy brought the whole hostage thing upon himself because he fucking tied a noose around Murphey’s throat.

Again, not that what Murphey did was right. He didn’t have to act like that. Jasper didn’t do anything to him.

Also this segment is getting long but the show writers and everyone else just casually forgot that Murphey was TORTURED? Hello? Are we not going to acknowledge that?

I shipped Clexa with my whole heart.

Another actually popular opinion: what they’ve done to Raven’s character this season is bullshit. Her only role is Abby’s moral compass. This is the same girl who shuttled to earth in a Tin Can. She’s better than this.

What the fuck??? Happened to??? Jordan???

Like Madi stabbed him

And then they proceeded to not talk about it for like four episodes and then casually mention it in passing like “oh he saved Pria that means he gets to live”

Like they set up his character to be really important this season.

But he’s not.

I think that Murphey/Emori is the best ship.

I also think that Either Murphey or Emori or Both are secretly double crossing the Primes. (This comes out before the finale of season six)

They didn’t have to do Onyia like that

The opening of season three is so weak that I actually stopped watching the show around that time (I’d been watching since the beginning of season two) because there’s just nothing there in the first like 10 minutes and I couldn’t do it.

Maybe I’m just impatient but it’s bad.

I think that Octavia did the best that she could with what she had available and I think that’s she’s not a bad person for what she did with the fighting pits/cannabalism. And I know that if Bellamy had been in her place, he would have eventually done the same.

Kane was a whiny bitch in season 5.

Why’d the kill Diyoza(I can’t spell) like that?

I liked Joesephine. It was really fun to see Eliza Taylor be able to get a new character in the show. Also props to her for that last episode with pretending to be Joesephine and being Clarke at the same time.

I called the dude being Gabriel from the first time I saw him you peasants.

Octavia’s redemption arc this season is beautiful.

They did....that.....to Kane. I’m angerey.

Lost In space

Not enough people watch this show. (The Netflix remake or the origional)

Seriously guys it’s a good show.

Absolutely nothing is wrong with it.

I love Don West with my whole heart.

I love Dr. Smith with my half heart.

I love the robot with my two hearts.

I love Penny Robinson with all the stars in the galaxy.

I love all of them okay.

There are no plot holes, no inconsistencies, no faulty science and anyone who says (or proves) otherwise is wrong.

It’s confirmed for a season two which should air in like the December-February time area.

It’s a Netflix show so you can binge the entire season in like a weekend.

Seriously watch it.

The Umbrella Academy

Five x Delores is weird.

Luther x Allison is illegal.

Klaus deserves all the push pops in the world.

The handler is hot.

The Comission killed Dave.

Luther is the most boring, Unorigional, straight white guy character I’ve seen in a long time. I hate him so much.

Allison is a queen but her character is brought down by her weird relationship with her brother.

Tbh if I was Allison you know I’d be telling my kids that I heard a rumor that theyd go the fuck to sleep. Like that’s a good thing. Idk maybe I’m just a sociopath.

Istanbul not Constantinople being played over a scene where five murders a squad of Commission people is the greatest cinematic masterpiece ever conceived by man.

“Where are you going” “to save the world” “oh is that all?” Iconic.

None of these are really unpopular but the show writers seem to think differently.

Diego has never done anything wrong in his life like yaaaasss bitch kill your brother at yo daddy’s funeral!!! Work!!!

PaTcH

AAaAHh

Big Theif - Mary is the perfect song to play over Klaus returning from Vietnam.

Will you love me, like you loved me in the January rain?

It’s up there with Goodbye July.

Speaking of Goodbye July....

Z Nation

Many people haven’t watched it

It’s like if The Walking Dead and Zombieland had a baby....and then the baby did a line of cocaine.

It’s wild.

Watching Garnet die ruined every sliver of hope I had in humanity.

I have a special place in my heart for this show because it’s the first show that me and my mom would stay up and watch the new episodes air every Friday. It brought us closer and I can’t thank the cast and show runners enough for this.

So maybe I’m biased, but you should watch it.

Having Murphey switch from being an anti-hero to a villain back to an anti-hero and then to a regular hero, amazing. Astonishing. The peak of human existence.

Even though he’s not entirely human.

What color is Murphey today? Is he pale, discolored, grey, blue, red? We don’t know!

Roberta Warren is the Black Goddess main protagonist that we deserve.

Addison Carver is a functional Bi.

10k is tragic backstory central but other than that, his character development is pretty lacking other than him persuing love interests.

None of these are really unpopular opinions but I doubt any of you have watched the show. It’s on Netflix. Watch it.

Oooooohhhhh George.

Georgia St. Clair could stomp me to death and my ghost would still want to fuck her.

Anyways I’m gay

God damn I have a lot of pent up Gay energy.

Murphey and Lucy have a realistic enstranged father/daughter relationship and it’s heartwarming.

And then they killed her off to save him.

Honestly if you name a character Murphey they can only be assholish bad boys with a good heart deep down sorry I don’t make the rules.

Also if you name a character Murphey I will love them with my whole soul.

I’m so mad they cancelled the show.

I’m infinitely more mad that they named that disgrace of a show Black Summer and claimed that it was a prequel....but it didn’t follow the same cast and had they not advertised it as a prequel I would never have guessed.

Black Summer gives totally opposite vibes than Z Nation does. I get that black summer is supposed to be the worst time that the zombie apocalypse ever had, with cannibals and no food, but it feels like s completely different show.

It’s like if The Walking Dead claimed that it is a prequel/occurs during Shaun of the Dead.

Like....no. They’re....no.

Anyway watch it it’s good.

Detroit: Become Human

Connor isn’t the best character.

This is an unpopular opinion post deal with it.

Markus has to be my favorite.

Honestly this game is so good and not even just graphics-wise.

It’s the same robotic sentience story we’ve been fed for years, but this time it’s from the Android’s perspective and this time all they want is to be free. That’s it.

I fucking hate North.

Hank is literally if Rick from Rick and Morty were serious.

The only correct way to play Connor is to walk the thin line between deviant and regular A.I. Without leaving out Hank. The correct thing to do is make Conner deviant at Jericho.

The only correct way to play Kara is to protect Alice with every fiber of your being. Meanwhile, get close to her. Do not get caught, even if that means dissappointing her.

The only correct way to play Markus is to lead a peaceful revolution. Also tell North to fuck off.

The border patrol guy who either gets Kara and Alice caught or knowingly lets Androids cross the border is the best character. Forget about Markus, this guy sees either “oh fuck androids are killing people, maybe we shouldn’t let this one cross the border” or “Androids just want to be free and are peacefully fighting for this. Let this one and her daughter through.” I love him.

LUTHER.

YES DADDY.

anyway.

Let Out The Bear He Just Wants To Say Hi :)

Even though I think Conner is overrated by the fandom, I do like him.

But he’s not a pure innocent cinnamon roll either.

It depends on how you play, but he has really violent options so stop the “He wouldn’t harm a fly” attitude.

But he is cute.

The home screen for the game is revolutionary (no pun intended) and I hope future game follow suit in making the first impression of the game something cool.

Stealing clothes/money/the fence cutters is literally okay.

Also if you put Kara in white hair you can die.

If in your first actual play through you got the Kara lives at the recycling plant ending but Alice dies, you can die too.

I’ve never actually seen the steal money and go to motel option play out because it’s stupid, especially if you don’t steal clothes. Like that’s begging to be caught.

Stranger things

Billy Hargrove is bad and just because he’s abused does not make what he does okay.

Harringrove is gross and I’m gay so my opinion counts as double.

That being said, there are some really cute fics about Harringrove and I can see the appeal of “good boy falls for mysterious bad boy with a dark past and trauma”

I’ve said I’m gay this whole post because I say it a lot, but I don’t like actually labeling myself but I like girls and boys and everything in between and I say I’m gay kinda as a joke when girls are hot.

That being said...

Steve Harrington calling himself Daddy made me feel things.

Strange things.

Haha get it I’m making a joke to distract you from the daddy part.

Steve Harrington is a good person now, but he was still an asshole before and he can still be criticized for his past.

I used to be hardcore Jancy but after season three I feel like Nancy needs and deserves a break from boys so she can figure out herself and who she is now and what she wants to do without the weight of boys and boyfriends constantly around her.

That being said i still don’t like Nancy because she was flirting/slept in the same bed with Jonathan whilst obviously having feelings for him while she and Steve were still a thing. It’s not cheating but to me it’s close enough to raise red flags.

Robin is perfect in every way.

I don’t like Jonathan. He’s creepy in s1, fine in s2, but then is s3 he doesn’t do anything to or about his male bosses when Nancy is being made fun of because she’s a woman.

Seeing Nancy’s class priveledge/Jonathan’s male priveledge clashing was so cool tbh

Elmax > Mileven > Lumax

Jim Hopper, with all his faults, is still a caring dad.

Plus him threatening Mike made me laugh so hard sksksksks

Steve Harrington deserves the world and then some.

Low key I really want s4 to give in insight on his family life.

I also want him to get an apartment with Robin.

Robins cute tbh but for half the season I though she was a Russian spy. I guess I was wrong.

Mrs. Wheeler shouldn’t sleep with billy (not that she can now) because it’s wrong, but the reason she wanted to is because her husband is so boring and she gave up on her dreams to be his perfect housewife. She wanted a challenge with Billy. Instead, she should leave her pushover of a husband and find someone better.

Anyway Steve Harrington deserves the world.

Yeah okay hate me whatever.

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jensensitive · 4 years ago

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well there is no official or real definition of queerbaiting. It used to mean when writers would make gay jokes or write something kind of gay and then write it off as a joke (it meant something else before this), but now it seems to mean any gay subtext no matter the intent. It is still very subjective. As for spn, I'd argue that the current writers' intents with d/c are very genuine and they're just writing a gay romance as textually as they're allowed to. Whereas the network probably isn't asking for gay stuff ~but keep it subtextual, they're just not asking for it.

As far as d/c goes, the writers seem to just be writing what they want to write and what they feel fits the characters, to the extent that they can. I guess the question is really if you think all gay romance that has to be kept subtextual or subtle is q/b. That depends on you and your perspective, but for me personally that idea is really very damaging and dangerous because it's essentially writing off any and all gay subtext, or any subtext really, that's written despite whatever the huge companies funding these shows dictate, as worthless. Which is actually genuinely like a really scary idea to me because we absolutely cannot trust huge corporations to just let artists speak their truths. Some things end up having to be said through subtext, as nice as it would be if everything could just be written exactly the way the writers want, it can't. This doesn't just apply to important things, but also stuff like cursing. They very cleverly found a way around Dean and Sam always saying "friggin" when they did ghostfacers and added the bleeps. It was great, but Dean and Sam still have to say "friggin" in every other episode there is, and it's still only subtext that they actually curse all the time and what we see and hear isn't the whole of their colorful vocabulary.

That’s probably a really annoying example, but it does illustrate that the writers just cannot write exactly what they want, they’re very much beholden to the constraints of the network, as also evidenced by Wayward Sisters and the fact that despite not getting picked up (even with extreme amounts of fan support), they still wrapped up Kaia’s storyline in a satisfying way to the best of their abilities. They had constraints there in that they didn’t get a lot of time and they couldn’t get Kat, but they worked within those constraints to deliver something really beautiful and satisfying. I would hate to think that they’d just give up on the idea and the characters completely just because they couldn’t do it exactly the way the had hoped for, just because they couldn’t give us a Claire/Kaia arc or a Claire/Kaia kiss. And thankfully they didn’t. And why would they? They’re used to working within boundaries all the time.

Maybe this post isn’t even for me to be answering idk. Usually I just ignore this word entirely because for the most part I just fundamentally disagree with it’s existence, in it’s current common definition, where all gay subtext is queer baiting and all queer baiting is bad.

There’s just so much wonderful gay content throughout history and in the past hundred or so years of film and tv that had to stay subtextual. To think that none of it should exist just because publishers and execs wouldn’t have approved it? Ouch. And the queerbaiting idea, at least as it’s applied to spn, if we can agree that it’s the network or some exec and not the disproportionately gay writers room, it’s essentially saying that if they can’t make it textual then they shouldn’t write it at all, which is giving all of the power to whoever is nixing the idea. It’s saying that if the network or whoever doesn’t want it, then it’s not worth writing. It’s not only giving all the power to the cw, even more than they have now, but it’s saying that they Should be able to dictate exactly, down to the subtext, what each and every word is saying. And I just despise the cw too much and enjoy art too much to want anyone with any creative bone in their body to yield to them like that.

And I can’t imagine what the world would be like without stories that have been told between the lines. It would be much different.

But when I see anger about queerbaiting, it’s so often at the writers. Be angry at whoever is saying no and dictating things that go against the idea sure, but it’s the idea that if they can’t make it fully textual they shouldn’t write it all that hurts so much. I don’t know if it comes from the idea that American society is past it, that we have gay characters in other shows so we’ve evolved past gay subtext? But gay content isn’t a monolith, different representation is much harder to get (for instance a manly bisexual lead of a show), shows for different demographics and with different reach are going to get approved for different content. And we continue to move (hopefully) forward gradually via the text that they can put in and yes via the subtext that they can’t take further. But imagine that the presidential administration took more control over fictional media, would gay subtext be valid then if the strings being pulled were more obvious? If so, why not now when it’s warner brothers et al?

I’m not gonna say queerbaiting doesn’t exist, perhaps it is a useful word in some circumstances, but I just feel like there’s more nuance to the entire situation around supernatural and dean/cas than could ever be summed up in a single word that feels like the writing off of gay subtext as a whole entity.

(here’s a relevant bts related post)

is the problem that y’all just.....don’t know the definition of queerbaiting?

because uhhhhhhhh spn definitely queerbaits

like it’s not a mistake that destiel hasn’t/won’t happen and it’s not a mistake that a v large portion of fandom is watching with that ship at the forefront of their interest. so.

not to pull rank, but pls don’t tell ppl who have been in fandoms for decades what they’re allowed to be pissed about re: queerbaiting.

we’ve seen it before, over and over. you start to get the taste of it.

#queerbaiting

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drunkbooksellers · 8 years ago

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Ep 14: Paul Constant, Seattle Review of Books

Epigraph

The Drunk Booksellers get stoned on this 4/20 themed episode with Paul Constant of the Seattle Review of Books.

Listen on iTunes, Stitcher, our website, or subscribe using your podcatcher of choice.

This episode is sponsored by Books & Whatnot, the newsletter dedicated to books, bookselling, and bookish folk; check out their newsletter archive here. Follow Books & Whatnot on Twitter at @booksandwhatnot.

If you want to get our show notes delivered directly to your inbox—with all the books mentioned on the podcast and links back to the bookstore we’re interviewing PLUS GIFs—sign up for our email newsletter.

Introduction

In which we make pot jokes and get excited about books

We're switching up our intoxicant of choice this episode and getting stoned rather than drunk (mostly). Paul's rocking Mr. Moxey's Mints (of the peppermint/sativa variety). Emma's smoking CBD (not to be confused with William Steig's children's picture book, CDB!). Kim stops talking while stoned—which would make for a really awkward podcast episode—so she's drinking the hoppiest IPA she could find instead. Everyone's a little too high to explain the varieties of weed particularly well, so you should just read David Schmader's Weed: The User's Guide: A 21st Century Handbook for Enjoying Marijuana.

Paul's Reading:

Up South by Robert Lashley

The Nameless City by Faith Erin Hicks

A collection of books from Mount Analogue Press

Manners by Ted Powers

Final Rose by Halie Theoharides (a comic book tone poem about love and loss made up screenshots from The Bachelor)

Reading Through It book club pick: What We Do Now: Standing Up for Your Values in Trump's America, edited by Dennis Johnson

Emma's Reading:

First Position by Melissa Brayden (thanks to a recommendation from our episode with The Ripped Bodice)

Giant Days 4 by John Allison, Max Sarin, Lissa Treiman, Liz Fleming, and Whitney Cogar

All the Lives I Want: Essays about My Best Friends Who Happen to Be Famous Strangers by Alana Massey (thanks to a recommendation from our episode with Amy Stephenson)

Kim's Reading:

We Should All Be Feminists by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

Hope in the Dark by Rebecca Solnit

On Tyranny: Twenty Lessons from the Twentieth Century by Timothy Snyder

The Aisles Have Eyes: How Retailers Track Your Shopping, Strip Your Privacy, and Define Your Power by Joseph Turow

Forthcoming Titles We're Excited For:

You Don’t Have to Say You Love Me by Sherman Alexie (out June 13)

Love and Trouble: a Midlife Reckoning by Claire Dederer (out May 9)

also mentioned Poser: My Life in Twenty-Three Yoga Poses

Theft by Finding: Diaries (1977-2002) by David Sedaris (out May 30)

Hunger: a Memoir of (My) Body by Roxane Gay (out June 13)

Priestdaddy by Patricia Lockwood (out May 2)

Borne by Jeff VanderMeer (out April 25)

Book of Joan by Lidia Yuknavitch (out April 18)

Woman No. 17 by Edan Lepucki (out May 9)

Isadora by Amelia Gray (out May 23)

Dreaming the Beatles: the Love Story of One Band and the Whole World by Rob Sheffield (out April 25)

Witches, Sluts, Feminists: Conjuring the Sex Positive by Kristen J Sollee (out June 13)

Modern Tarot: Connecting with Your Higher Self Through the Wisdom of the Cards by Michelle Tea (out June 13)

The Perfect Mix: Everything I Know about Leadership I Learned as a Bartender by Helen Rothberg (out June 20)

Chapter I [18:50]

In which we learn what The Seattle Review of Books is, talk about book reviews as a meta art form, and get advice on promoting diversity and being a safe, welcoming place for people who aren't white bros

The Seattle Review of Books is a book news, review, and interviews site. This isn't consumer reports, with a thumbs up or down on each title; each review aims to have a conversation with the book. It's a site that aims to look like your bookshelf, without genre classification.

Emma & Kim don't quite understand Paul's assertion that people don't organize their bookshelves, but we roll with it.

SRB makes all their money through a single sponsor (which changes each week). If you're interested in their sponsorship program, you can learn more here.

Paul wants to promote young, new writers and help them build up their clip file. So you should probably pitch him with your brilliant, bookish ideas. Email submissions@seattlereviewofbooks or fill in the contact form on their about page.

Emma particularly loves the Help Desk by Cienna Madrid. Ask Cienna an awkward book-related question at [email protected].

Being a couple of white guys, Paul and his co-founder Martin McClellan are extremely concerned with diverse representation. You can learn more about how SRB encourages diversity in both the books they review and the reviewers they publish on their about page (or by listening to this episode...). But you should know right off the bat, they are not here to promote the new Franzen novel and they will not pander to bros.

Chapter II [33:10]

In which we talk about life in the US post-election, say something negative about a book, and discuss Paul's past (and current) life as a bookseller

Reading Through It is a post-election book club hosted by Seattle Review of Books, the Seattle Weekly, and Third Place Books Seward Park. They meet the first Wednesday of every month.

On our post-election world, Paul Constant says: "This is what books were made for. Books are engines of empathy... the only way to do a deep-dive into an issue. It's our stored knowledge... This is the moment for books."

The next Reading Through It book group pick is The Righteous Mind: Why Good People Are Divided by Politics and Religion by Jonathan Haidt. They'll be meeting Wednesday May 3rd at Third Place Books Seward Park.

Read Paul's article on his time at Borders: Books Without Borders: My Life at the World's Dumbest Bookstore Chain

Though he's not technically a bookseller anymore, Paul is still "on team books." Keep an eye out for our "I'm On Team Books" t-shirts, which may or may not be a thing we sell one day.

Chapter III [43:20]

In which Paul is better at explaining our questions than stoned Emma is at asking them, Emma and Kim give Paul major side-eye due to his bookseller confession, and Emma continues to push Uprooted by Naomi Novik

Desert Island Pick (what would you read that you never had the time to read before): The Years of Lyndon Johnson by Robert Caro (beginning with The Path to Power)

We couldn't find a video of the following clip of Caro on the Colbert Report, so we'll just leave you this series of gifs to explain why you, too, should consider bringing an epic five-volume biography of Lyndon Johnson as your desert beach read:

You're welcome. Now, back to your regularly scheduled show notes.

Station Eleven Picks (the books to preserve for society) The Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne (everything you need to know about living in a society) Great Expectations by Charles Dickens (everything you need to know about life and how it doesn’t always work out the way you want, but you should live it anyway)

Read Paul's essay about The Scarlet Letter, originally written for Scarecrow Video.

Wild Pick (traveling is about observing things... soaking everything in) We Tell Ourselves Stories In Order to Live by Joan Didion ("because she is the greatest observer on the planet and I would want to be like her when I was traveling")

Bookseller Confession Once again, we have a guest who hasn't read Harry Potter. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE? Paul also hasn't read Lord of the Rings and Kim proceeds to side-eye him from across the city.

(In case you were wondering, the title of the direct link to this gif is "wtf-i-cant-even-you-are-stupid." Just sayin'.)

Emma, naturally, tries to convert Paul to fantasy w/ an Uprooted recommendation because "nobody doesn't like it." Paul commits to reading it in order to prove her wrong.

Go-To Handsell Fup by Jim Dodge Paul saved the book from going out of print and—arguably more importantly—he handsold a copy to Allison Hannigan.

Impossible Handsell Paradise by AL Kennedy (and everything by AL Kennedy)

Book for Booksellers Saving Capitalism by Robert Reich

Favorite Bookstores Elliott Bay Ada’s Technical Books Third Place Ravenna

Favorite Literary Media

Not to brag, but, we’re the only podcast Paul listens to.

The Rumpus Lit Hub Book Forum Electric Literature Shelf Awareness

Epilogue

In which we tell you where to find us on the Internets

You can find Paul on:

Twitter

Seattle Review of Books is also on Twitter

Seattlereviewofbooks.com

You can find us on:

Twitter at @drunkbookseller

Litsy at @drunkbooksellers

Facebook

Instagram

Newsletter

Website

Emma tweets @thebibliot and writes bookish things for Book Riot.

Kim tweets occasionally from @finaleofseem, but don’t expect too much 'cause she saves all of the interesting (ie. book-related) shizzle for Drunk Booksellers.

Subscribe and rate us on iTunes!

Check out this episode!

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spraffin · 8 years ago

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03/04/17

MARCH

I know tomorrow is going to come because I’ve seen it. Sunrise is going to come, all you have to do is wake up. The future has been at war, but it’s coming home so soon.

March arrived quietly; entered stage left without making too much noise, and sat down without a fuss. It came with a warm breeze and new hope, new self-worth, and new goals. When February had finished its perfomance, it had bowed with feigned humility, and clambered undaintily down from the stage. February knows how impressive it was. February wore me out with progress, and had me sleeping so often that it took me a while to notice how much harder I was living while I was awake. On the day of my audition, I was finally able to access the sweeping confidence I adopt whenever I feel fulfilled - the same confidence I use when I’m working with kids at Glen and at parties with new friends. I felt tall and upright and genuine. Tara from my building in Granton was there, and I was struck by my progress since leaving from the moment I greeted her - I considered her a close friend, but until then I don’t think we’d ever had a conversation in which I was properly focused on her, since I was always so overwhelmed by anxiety. We took part in a two hour workshop and I charged into it with more energy than I knew I had. I delivered my monologue one and a half times without panicking, and I was congratulated for an entertaining and engaging performance. Following this we were interviewed privately. A stern woman with curly hair who Fin had described to me as a “terror” talked softly to me about my options and why I’d left Granton a third of the way into my course. She was very gentle and told me how brave she thought I must be. A few days later, I got an unconditional offer. The idea of a future is so strange and foreign when you’re in recovery. It’s overwhelming to suddenly be confronted with a limitless stream of possibilities that you never thought you’d see again - to be re-met by opportunities you’ve already mourned. I am confused, but excited. I’m getting stronger and stronger.

We are all going to be part of each other one day. The future is a blue sky and a full tank of gas.

I accepted the offer and thought hard about performing. There’s little I feel more wonderful doing. I love comedy, I love singing, I love pretending, I love making up bits on the spot. I love being looked at and admired and laughed at. Empathy makes me so much better at being entertaining. I love feeling huge and bright. I love other people and I love them in a crowd, whether they’re sat in rows beneath me or gathered around me at a party. My entire understanding of self-esteem is about performance. I can’t function without it so I’m going to learn how to do it better.

March came with warm days and tough mornings, slow nights. I spent time with Lauryn and skipped rehearsal more than once and slept and played guitar. Rinse and repeat. But then came the end of the month, and the journey to Northamptonshire.

TRAVELLING

Lord I’m one, Lord I’m two, Lord I’m three, Lord I’m four, Lord I’m 500 miles from my home.

I took my medication and climbed onto the coach, and slept until we reached Glasgow. It was dark and gorgeous and raining, and I grinned and wriggled in my seat and fell asleep again. Birmingham at six A.M. The sun rose through thick white fog while I sat in the dark rail station. I felt euphoric but so relaxed. I smiled hard as the train pulled into Northampton. I got on an eight A.M bus full of English school kids who yelled in abrasive shrill accents. Spencer and I found each other in Kettering, and the weight of our friendship was overwhelming and so sweet and thick and heavy like honey.

The next few days passed in a blur of blankets and patterned curtains and sunlight glowing into a cup of tea. I basked in the rare and amazing gift of total comfort in the presence of someone else. Alice turned out to be the most beautiful cat in the world. Megan and I swapped books and we visited a country park with Spencer’s nieces. The kids were adorably goofy and charming and told us they knew being gay was okay because they watched Shane Dawson. We had ice creams and then headed home for noodles and incredibly cheap wine, the kind that tastes like acetone and should really be saved for when you’re drinking in a public park in your school uniform. We laughed - I remember laughter as an almost permanent state that I lived in while in England - and made beautiful art and ugly art and explored Northampton. I was glum and drained for the return journey, and found Birmingham ten times as beautiful at four A.M than I had the first time I’d passed through. Chinatown glowed red in the darkness, like the last embers of a fire, the wind biting. I walked back and forth for miles to kill time before the coach left. I made it home after fourteen hours and fell immediately into bed.

Then, the days were tired and nerve-wracking. I napped on Lauryn and painted blue and green and gold onto her eyelids. Heather went to a job interview and I sat next to her smiling smugly, internally screaming “that’s my friend!”. Imogen and I went to see a singing competition. Lucy was immense as usual, belting angrily, so much power coming from a tower of five-foot-nothing, commanding attention in her uniquely compelling way. Rachael was angelic and soft and sweet, and her face exploded into a smile when she won.

My family left for the Lake District on Friday evening, and I packed frantically for Edinburgh. I was overcome with anxiety - my ribs throttled my heart like a cage and I breathed as if it was my last chance. I knew I wouldn’t be going near Granton, but my head was reeling and spinning as I pictured Princes Street. I thought about the frost underneath my feet in Sighthill, the sun over Leith Walk, crying on the tram, crying on the bus, crying in the rain, crying in my bedroom. I remembered my panic and anxiety about my friends from Glen, and how fervently I believed that none of them could ever or had ever loved me. I took my medicine and slept for as long as I could bear.

EDINBURGH

Olivia was texting me, and kept me distracted for much of the train journey, but the coldness rose up my throat and choked me, and when I stepped into the station something inside me collapsed. I was shaky, but I walked until the sun hit me, and then I found Josh and Rowan. It was hard, but I forced myself to focus, and concentrated with all of my might on where I was and who they were, and then I was okay. My hands shook while I ate lemon tart in Costa, at the same table I’d sat at when I’d seen Holly at the beginning of October. Rowan was gentle and I looked at her and not out of the window at the city. By the time Elyse had arrived, I was stable.

We made it to the cathedral early, and the sunshine was streaming through the stained-glass and I was teasing Josh and Rowan about their affection for each other. We found Gordon immediately, then Kate, then Tembu, and I made Kerridge’s lip bleed when I jumped into a hug with her, and when I caught Ley-Anne she said “Did you bring the posters? Good. Oh yeah - also hello, and I love you.”

Tembu chose Josh and me to represent SEC youth in a video for General Synod. The producers recorded me describing my experiences with faith, then followed me around with a camera for a while. We knelt down to write our favourite memories from camp on a huge paper banner. We squashed around a table littered with chainmail materials and Tembu brandished pliers. We ate lunch with the Glen DVDs blaring in the background, cries of nostalgia and joy echoing from every direction. Finally, we were herded into an ante-chapel where Claire Starr sat wielding a copy of Winnie the Pooh. Time for a little something. Kiron, Tembu’s youngest, climbed over my lap restlessly until I scooped him up and we headed outside to run around.

I found Aidan and Hannah, Rebecca and Iain gaggled together underneath the cathedral, singing. Samuel climbed the wall and stood miles above us. Rebecca and I breezed into the ceilidh hall to watch the band set up. I saw Claire BE rush her way into a red dress and hurry back into the throng like a hero to organise it all. When Andrew arrived, everything felt warmer. I’d missed my best friend. I danced all but one dance, sweated and laughed and jumped and whooped and ran. There is nothing more fun than a ceilidh. There is no better way to wallow in the experience of your love for your friends.

Emily guided me to the tomato quiche and stuffed me with samosas, and Rachel and Claire congratulated me on my recovery in the cold dark outside where we drank water and Taylor smoked. I was in my element all evening, making everyone laugh, and I was never lost for words. I feel like I am becoming myself again. I am better.

We roared Auld Lang Syne and charged at each other in a messy overexcited throng. Rebecca was so lit up and happy, and I felt exactly how she looked. I was so lighthearted. The delegates left and the leaders pulled chairs into a wide, messy circle, pulling out beers and wine and cider, chatting excitedly. I chucked an ice pack at my twisted ankle, grinning wildly and teasing Taylor, yelling protests at anyone who made a face at my Lambrini. “Get a fucking life, Thalia!” “It costs £1.50, ya dick!”

For to see her was to love her! Love but her, and love forever!

We entertained each other with stories and jokes and games. Before the circle finally dissipated into several groups, Mark got up and sang Ae Fond Kiss. His voice filled the room and I watched as everyone closed their eyes, sat back, let it spill over them. I felt lucky. I feel lucky.

Kirsty and I shrieked with laughter twenty times per conversation, and Kerridge ranted about her overwhelming affection for me only three ciders in. Ley-Anne and I spoke quietly about all that had happened to us and I plaited her hair. I felt the night come in strong as I flitted between the clusters of my friends, laughing and chatting to each and every one of them. I drank Taylor’s rum and we held hands and giggled with Neil for hours on end. We charged into the kitchen area at three A.M like animals to a watering hole to eat bread and red velvet cake, and then I grabbed my blanket and we settled down on the floor and finally fell asleep.

We woke because we were cold. My teeth chattered, and we climbed first to the thermostat and then to the plate of leftover quiche. Hannah ambled over to sit in front of our radiator, grumbling up a storm with sleep in her eyes. Everything was so easy. When did everything get so easy?

Mark addressed the cathedral and told us all that Glen fuels his ministry. Tembu thanked us and God for the camp. I am so lucky. I am so lucky. Samuel and I read the intercessions and I gave Andrew the card I made for him and Rachel. It took so long to extricate myself from the group - farewell hugs occupied us for fifteen minutes. I can’t believe I once feared I’d never be back with these friends. I headed down Princes Street in the brilliant sunlight to find Jodie and Rebecca in the gardens. We ate lunch under a tree and chatted a little sleepily but so happily.

I am tired now, but I can see how fast I’m improving. I want to feel ambitious again, and I’m working so hard. I’m really, really proud of myself.

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helloworlddemo1122-yahoopar-blog · 7 years ago

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‘RuPaul’s Drag Race’: Asia O’Hara on IKEA Hats and the ‘Magic’ Still to Come on Season 10 (Exclusive)

Asia O’Hara might be the de facto “narrator” of RuPaul’s Drag Race season 10, but that doesn’t mean she has to like it.

“I feel old!” the 35-year-old queen admits to ET. “Oh my god! I have become that old gay at the club who's like, 'Well, you know, in 1979 we were getting arrested...' I've become that person! And I'm like, when did that happen?”

“So, to now see me in this role, and I'm the one that I would be rolling my eyes at 10 years ago?” she continues. “It's kind of, I feel old. I feel decrepit. I feel like a grandma. I'm dressed like a grandma today! It's just, everything is not how I planned.”

Still, Asia says she also had flashbacks to being a young queen while competing on the VH1 series, noting that it completely challenged some things she thought to be true about her own drag.

“It's been a very humbling experience that I expected, but not to the magnitude that it's happened,” she shares. “I went into it with this omnipotent idea about myself and about my drag, and to see, like, no, girl, that's not the case at all. That's, like, the most surprising thing.”

Asia is coming off of a not-so-stellar performance as Beyonce Knowles in the fan-favorite “Snatch Game” challenge, riding the roller coaster that is Drag Race. In previous weeks, she’s been a standout queen, delivering stunning look after look on the runway, including a head-turning headpiece that had fans asking, “Is that from IKEA?”

Asia O'Hara sports a dandelion-inspired headpiece on 'RuPaul's Drag Race.'

VH1

“Absolutely, yes!” Asia answers, confessing that her dandelion look was, in fact, crafted out of the parts used to make the dandelion-inspired IKEA lamp.

“I saw that years ago and I was like, oh my god, it's a dandelion,” she recalls. “Then flash-forward to getting onto Drag Race and, you know, we had to bring a hat look and I was like, OK. What can I do that's really gonna be over the top and out of the box? And I was like, oh my god. I should do that dandelion, but I was like, how am I gonna get it there? What am I gonna do? I went and bought it and I opened the box and I was like, I can't put this together and take it. So, I'm just gonna put it in the box and take it and hopefully it works out.”

“I put it together the day of the challenge,” she continues. “I was helped a great deal by Aquaria and Blair [St. Clair] and it was kind of exactly what I wanted, because it was a hat. I was a little afraid they were gonna say, 'Girl, it's a headpiece not a hat,' but it worked!”

The Dallas-based queen jokes you’ll find the lamp now hanging in her home, where she also hopes to display a crown and scepter from Mama Ru. Her eye is very much on the Drag Race grand prize, but she says three queens stand in her way: Monet X Change, Mix Cracker and The Vixen.

Fans will have to tune into VH1 every Thursday at 8 p.m. ET to see if Asia can beat them to the top on RuPaul’s Drag Race. She promises the rest of the season will be “magic.”

“Pure, unadulterated magic,” she says.