#Chris evans Angst

[imyourbratzdoll]

Hey babe!! I'm beyond obsessed with your recent Lloyd/Ransom lollipop fic! Could we perhaps get a follow up where Lloyd tests out said lollipop on reader?👀🥵

hi baby! I'm so so so sorry for taking so long to do your request! I hope you like what I've done.

last part to wedding crasher and the prequel lollipop

summary - after your ex ransom crashed yours and lloyd's wedding and revealing your dirty little secret. your now husband wants to try it out for himself on your honeymoon.

warning - smut, food play, being called a slut, daddy kink.

18+ only please, the gif isn't mine and divider by @newlips

After the wedding and your ex crashing it, Lloyd decided during your honeymoon that he should be allowed to experience your lollipop kink. So, that’s exactly what he did. After a lovely romantic dinner, he led you back up to the room and threw you on the bed, reaching over with a devilish smile as he pulled out a strawberry lollipop from underneath his pillow, bringing you into a rough make out session before he begins with his plans. Which leaves us too now.

“Stay still, Pumpkin. Let daddy fuck you with this sweet treat.” Lloyd growls, you’re sprawled out on the bed, lips puffy and swollen from your husband kissing you roughly, your cunt dripping as you anticipate what’s going to happen. Lloyd lies between your legs, his tongue flicking out to wet his lips as he eyes your glistening folds. One hand grips your hip, holding it down while the other rubs a strawberry flavoured lollipop between your folds. The lolly bumping against your puffy clit causes soft whimpers to fall from your lips. “I chose strawberry for us, Pumpkin. So, whenever you see anything resembling a strawberry, you’ll think back to this night.” He smirks, “Be a good girl for daddy.” He says with a hint of a warning behind his words, knowing how greedy you can be once he gives into your desires.

Your eyes roll back as he pushes the sweet treat into your cunt, his cock twitches as he watches you practically suck the thing in as though it were your mouth doing it. “L–Lloyd!” Smack “Daddy!” You moan as he coats the lolly with your juices, picking up the pace and swirling it around, hitting your sweet spot. 

Lloyd thrusts the lollipop faster and harder into your sweet cunt, his thumb connecting to your puffy clit, groaning as your back lifts from the mattress and you begin to squirm. Your fingers curl into the bedsheets as he fucks you hard, slowly turning you into his kinky little slut with each movement. Lloyd huffs out a chuckle, “Huh, your ex was right. You are a kinky little slut.” 

His words cause tingles to erupt throughout your body, juices flowing out of your now strawberry-flavoured cunt as you cum. You slowly sink back into the mattress, hazy eyes locking onto Lloyd’s as he gently pulls out the lollipop, you whimper as you watch him put it in his mouth, swirling his tongue around the treat as he collects your taste. Your eyes widen as he crawls up your body, leaning over you with the lollipop hanging loosely in his mouth. He hums, “I think I just found my new favourite treat, Pumpkin.” 

The rest of the night is filled with everything imaginable, not leaving the bed until two days had passed and you were utterly fucked out. 

thank you for reading!

feedback and reblogs are greatly appreciated.

[moonvis]

I NEED YOU ALIVE

Steve Rogers x F! Avenger! Reader Incl. Sam, Tony, and Bucky x Natasha Summary: Steve can't wait to propose, but when a mission goes south, he's not sure he'll get the chance after all Warnings: Angst to fluff! Some cursing. Some blood and injuries. 2.5k words.

Steve carefully opened the blue velvet box in his hand, revealing a simple yet beautiful engagement ring. Light reflected onto the golden material, a small diamond on top. Steve knew his girl liked it simple, so that was what he got. A warming smile grew on his lips as he imagined the ring perfectly fit on her finger.

Bucky gently nudged at his pal’s side, a smirk present on his face. Steve chuckled as a response, speaking in a low voice, “This is it Buck. I’m proposing tonight after the mission.” It was Y/N and Steve’s two-year anniversary after all, but unfortunately they had to go on a last-minute mission before celebrating.

“M’ happy for you pal. She’s gonna love it.”

Steve had been carrying the ring in his picket ever since he bought it, looking at it every now and then  - even at the risk of Y/N spotting him. Bucky had reminded it of such many times before, “Might put it away before your girl sees it.”

The whole team were gathered inside the jet, but luckily Y/N was sat opposite of the super soldiers, occupied in a conversation with Natasha. Steve let out a happy sigh and closed the box, “You know how it is Buck…”

Bucky did indeed understand; he understood the excitement Steve was feeling, the thought of spending the rest of a lifetime with the love of his life. The former Winter Solider had proposed to Natasha just a few months earlier anyways.  

Bucky patted the blonde’s shoulder, “One more mission, and she’s all yours.”

“Right.” The Captain put the box back in his most secure pocket and got up. Time to get over with the mission. Walking into the middle of the jet, he spoke up, “Okay team. One last recall on the mission plan.”

Y/N gave him her immediate attention, admiring Steve in his Captain America stance. Steve gave her a small smile before he continued talking, “Y/N and Nat will get the files. Buck, Sam and I will go for the hostages, while Tony-” Steve turned to the billionaire, “You work as a shield around the base. This is a last-minute mission, which means we gotta be prepared for anything. Sam will back you up if needed.”

“Dream team,” Y/N commented from beside Natasha, giving her a pound, “Let’s go.”

Tony turned in his seat and prepared the jet for arrival, just outside the Hydra base, “Check your gear everyone! We land in three.”

As the they landed, Steve guided for Y/N to come over, which se gladly did. The Captain put his shield on his back, before caressing his girlfriend’s face, his brows softening as they made eye contact, “Be careful, okay? You know I hate separating from you on missions. So please, don’t take any unnecessary risks. I need you back in one piece.”

Unbeknownst to Y/N, Steve was referring to the upcoming secret proposal, thinking of the ring hidden in his pocket. He needed his future bride to make it back from the mission alive.

“That goes both ways,” Y/N raised a brow and smiled, “But yes, I promise.” With a quick kiss, they bid each other good luck before Y/N jogged off to join Natasha.

“Come on pal, let’s go.” Bucky said form beside the Captain. Steve couldn’t help feeling a little uneasy though, watching his girl disappear out of sight. Shrugging it off, he nodded at Bucky before leading the way.

Y/N and Natasha snuck up to the first entrance where four Hydra agents were guarding the door. Y/N looked over at the redhead mouthing, “Element of surprise?”, gaining a nod in response. On three, Y/N launched forward and kicked one man to the ground, before ducking as another tried to shoot her.

Natasha was already slamming the shooter into a third Hydra agent, while Y/N knocked out the guy beneath her. Finishing off, she shot the fourth and last guy running at Natasha. The girls gave each other a pound before continuing further into the base.

“Y/N look!”

Y/N turned to face Natasha, her eyes following whatever the redhead was pointing at. A staircase, leading up to a glass covered room holding what seemed like computers.

“Just what we were searching for,” Y/N winked and ran towards the stairs, stopping when a pair of Hydra agents suddenly appeared at the top. Y/N was a quick and precise shooter when it came to guns, not arrows, that was Barton’s specialty.

Fast, she brought out her gun and shot both agents in their head before they got the chance to react. Natasha came up beside her, impressed, “Not bad, but save some for me, will you?”

“Then you gotta keep up,” Y/N teased. Natassha rolled her eyes and followed her friend up the stairs. As they reached the computer-room, the coast seemed to be clear, with no booby-traps in sight.

“Awesome. Go do your thing,” Y/N winked at Natasha who entered the room, before she spoke into the comms, “Mission report. We found the computer-room.”

“Good. Get those files and stay on guard,” Steve reported back, “We just found the hostages. Getting them out now.”   

Natasha was skilled when it came to hacking, so downloading the files were like a baby’s work. It was when they thought they were safe to leave the base, things started to heat up.

“We got the files, heading out now!” Natasha spoke into the comms, following Y/N out of the room.

“Copy that.” The Captain sounded satisfied, “And the hostages are brought to safety. Everyone return to the jet.”   

While Tony gave his own report into the comms, the ladies of the team faced a sudden surprise outside the computer-room. Out of nowhere, a gunshot sounded through the hall, followed by the sound of Natasha’s agonizing scream.

She had been hit.

Y/N was quick to react and shot the Hydra agent who had fired and felt a knot in her stomach as she watched her friend fall to the floor. “Nat, shit!” Y/N rushed over and fell to her knees, “Hold still.”

Natasha had been shot through the leg, thick blood flowing out of her wound. Y/N ripped a piece of clothing of her own suit and wrapped it around the redhead’s leg. Bringing a hand up to her comm, her shaking voice spoke up, “Nat’s been hit! We need backup asap!”

“What!?” The frantic voice of Bucky sounded through the comms, “Where are you? I’m coming!”

“We’re just outside the computer room. West part of the base. Please, hurry!” Y/N’s worried voice responded back, before she shifted her attention back to Natasha, “Hold on Nat. Bucky’s coming.”

Natasha was weak, the wound being dangerously deep. The redhead brought out her hand for Y/N to hold, which she instantly accepted. Y/N felt scared, she couldn’t carry Natasha out of there herself, nor would she leave her behind. The last thing she needed was more Hydra agents approaching them in such a vulnerable state.

As if the universe hated them, the voices of more Hydra agents could be heard from downstairs, “They’re up there! Let’s go!”

Shit.

“Guys, hurry! There’s more agents and I can’t deal with them alone with Nat like this!” Y/N yelled into the comms, readying her gun for anything. Right now, protecting Natasha was the only thing she cared about.

“On my way!” Tony said though the comms, his voice stern with a hint of concern.

Steve felt his heart twist and turn, the sickening feeling in his stomach not helping. If he knew his girl correctly, she would do anything in her power to protect Natasha. Even if it meant putting her own life at risk. “Don’t do anything stupid Y/N! We’re on our way!”

“Hold on baby, I’m on my way!” Was Bucky’s words trough the comms. Natasha let out a shaky breath at his voice, clearly getting a bit of relief from it.

As the first Hydra agent made his way up the stairs, Y/N shot him in the head, making him fall into the one coming up right behind him. Y/N got up on her feet and saw at least six more agents running up to get them, “What the fuck?”

“Y/N you need to-” Natasha spoke thought a cough, “Get your ass out of here.”

“Forget it. I’m not leaving you.” Y/N’s voice was stern, so was her stance. As more agents ran towards her, she shot them. One, two and-

Her gun was out of bullets.

In the moment of panic, she took a step back before throwing her gun at the floor. Reaching for her knife, she spoke through the comms again, “My gun’s out, and these bitches keep on coming. Hurry!”

“Fuck, we’re almost there doll!” Steve was panicking. He could run fast alright, but coming from the other side of the base was quite the long way, “Tony!”

“Almost there Cap!”

Taking advantage of Y/N’s moment of distraction, the next Hydra agent tackled her to the floor. She usually managed to take out a guy alone, but as another agent joined in to hold her down, she struggled.

Natasha noticed and couldn’t just lay and watch. The redhead gritted her teeth together and lifted herself slightly off the floor, pointing her gun at one of the agents. Trough her blurred vision, she shot him in the arm. The man screamed in pain and let go of Y/N.

Unfortunately, the Hydra agent realised Natasha was still a threat, even in such a state, and went forward to grab her instead. The man lifted Natasha by the collar and dragged her towards the stairs, pointing his gun at her, “This is what you get little bitch!”

His words grabbed Y/N attention, her eyes widening, “No!”

Everything from there happened so fast. One second she was pushing Natasha out of the way, and the next, she was falling down the stairs with a fresh bullet-wound to her side.

In the moment of tragedy, Iron Man came flying in, catching Y/N only seconds away from having her head slammed on the cold hard ground. Holding her with one hand, he blasted the last remaining agents dead, before finally landing. Tony gently put her down, his mask revealing the distressed features on his face, “My god-”

“Natasha!” The yell and sight of Bucky came in view. He spotted his fiancé at the top of the stairs, not hesitating to get to her side. Right behind came Steve and Sam, having no idea what would meet their eyes.

The exact moment Steve spotted Y/N lying beside Tony, he felt his stomach drop. The Captain rushed to her side, falling onto his knees as dust flew in the air, “Oh my god--”

As Tony put pressure on her wound, Steve brought his hand up to caress her cheek, “Oh my god Y/N, you-”

“M’sorry Stevie…”

“No, don’t you say that!” Steve was panicking, his eyes going up to meet Tony’s, “What do we do?!”

Composing himself, Tony got up from the ground, “She don’t have much time. We need to get her help, asap! I’ll get the jet ready, you bring her.”  

Steve felt his breath quickening at Tony’s words. As he watched Iron Man fly off, Steve shifted his attention back to his girl. Fresh tears streamed down his cheeks as he spoke, “I’m sorry doll, but this is gonna hurt.” Steve, as gently as he could, lifted her up in his arms, shutting out her agonizing scream to concentrate.

“Hold on doll, I’m bringing you home,” Steve promised as he ran the fastest he ever had. He watched as his girl grew heavier in his arms, her eyelids trying to fall shut. “Don’t you dare close your eyes!” Fuck he was worried.

“I’m not losing you today doll, just keep your eyes open, please.” Steve begged as he noticed how quickly his girl faded.

“M’sleepy…” Y/N wasn’t thinking clearly anymore, not feeling much either. She was just happy her last moments would be in the hands of the man she loved.

“No, I can’t let you to that. You need to stay awake, sweetheart. Please.” Steve cried as Y/N’s eyes closed, knowing there was nothing else he could do but run. “No, no, no, Y/N! Stay with me, please!”

As Y/N went completely numb in his hands, the solider screamed out in frustration. The jet was right in front of him, and as soon as he got to lay her body down, he fell to his knees, silent sobs shaking his broad shoulders.

His hand reached into his pocket, fingers tightening around the blue velvet box. She couldn’t die on him, not like this. He still had an important question to ask her.

Tick.

Tick.

Tick.

Tick.

Tick.

Just like he had been doing for the last few days, Steve sat by her bedside, listening to the monitor telling him she was still alive.

Steve refused to leave her side. Sam had tried to at least make him take a shower after the mission, but he still wouldn't budge. Steve had to be present the exact moment Y/N woke up.

“Hey, pal,” Bucky entered the room, “How’s she doing?”

Steve let out a sigh, letting his eyes leave Y/N for just a moment to look at his friend, “You know… the same.”

“Hey, I could watch her for a while if you need some rest,” Bucky suggested, but the Captain only shoot his head, “You know she’s gonna be mad when she wake up and realises you didn’t take care of yourself.”

“So be it,” Steve stoke his thumb over the soft skin of her hand, “I just can’t leave her side. I thought she was gone Buck. You saw it! Her heart stopped, twice!” Fresh tears streamed down Steve’s face at the memory playing in his head.

The day on the injury, Y/N’s heart stopped twice if not more, and it scared the hell out of Steve. He had to see the world crumbling down before his eyes, only for the universe to prank him. It made him angry. Oh, how he hated Hydra, for almost taking away his future.

Bucky didn’t comment Steve’s words. It could easily have been Natasha in that situation, but Y/N had saved her without hesitation. He would be forever grateful – he just couldn’t bear the thought of his best friend losing the love of his life instead.

Luckily, Y/N was recovering.

“You look like shit…” A crocked voice came from the room. Steve’s head shot up in surprise, eyes landing on her beautiful ones looking back at him. Bucky smiled and rushed out of the room, going to get a doctor.

“Y/N? Oh my-” Steve gasped, rapid breaths escaping him, “Fuck, Y/N, I thought I lost you.” Steve reached forward and cupped her cheek, not even bothering to hold back the sobs that followed.

“M’sorry…” Y/N let out a shaky breath, still adjusting to the light and pain in her stomach, “And uh- how long was I out for?”

“Five days,” Steve responded, still in disbelief his girl was finally awake, “Thank god you’re okay, doll. I love you so damn much.”

Y/N was a little taken back by the number of days but shook it off as she watched Steve’s broken expression. She tapped at the empty spot beside her, guiding for Steve to lay down. He hesitated for a moment, scared of hurting her, but accepted when she looked at him with pleading eyes.

“How’s Natasha doing?” Y/N asked as she remembered the redhead.

“She’s okay,” Steve sounded a bit hesitant, “Thanks to you I’ve heard.”

“Steve… I’m sorry for being reckless, I just-”

Steve sighed and reassured her, “It’s okay, I’m just glad to have you back alive. We’ve been at this one before; I’d do the same for Bucky and so on.”

Y/N chuckled and rested her head against his shoulder, hearing his rapid heartbeat.

Letting out a shaky breath, Steve turned to face her properly, his eyes softening as he looked at her smile. He reached into his pocket to grab the blue velvet box he had so patiently waited to give her.

“Y/N, this is not how I imagined doing this, but-” Steve brought the box forwards. Y/N’s eyes widened at the sight, her hand coming up to cover her gasping mouth, “Steve…”

Steve opened the box to reveal the beautiful ring, his eyes plastered on her the whole time. Her widening smile and teary eyes made his heart melt, “After almost loosing you, I can’t wait any longer. Please, will you do me the biggest honour of becoming my wife?”

“Oh my gosh! Yes!” Y/N cheered with the little energy she had and let Steve put the perfectly fit ring on her finger, “It’s beautiful Steve!”

Steve let out a soft chuckle, “I know this isn’t an ideal way to propose but-”

“It’s perfect!” Y/N assured him and reached forward to press a kiss on his lips. Though as she moved, a sudden pain overwhelmd her stomach, “Fuck!”

“Shit, are you okay?” Steve went straight into being protective, watching his fiancé shut her eyes in pain. As she didn’t respond, he grew worried, at least, until she started giggling. “Fuck that hurt.”

“You scared me doll,” Steve let out a sigh and reached forward to plant a kiss on top of her head, “You sure know how to pain an old man’s heart.”

Before Y/N got the chance to respond, a doctor came into the room, Bucky following suit, “Sorry for ruining the moment, but we need to check if everything is okay.”

“That’s fine, I know you’ll take care of my fiancé.” Steve kissed the top of her head and left the bed, going to stand beside Bucky.

The brunette punched Steve in the arm, “Now you can finally stop the obsessive ring gazing. I’m happy for you pal.”

“Thanks Buck.” Steve's eyes didn’t leave her figure as he stood there. He watched as she laughed with the doctor, a smile plastered on her face, even though she just woke up from a fay day long coma. She was such a ray of sunshine – she warmed his heart.

Oh, and to believe she would be his for ever.

[lanabuckybarnes]

| Lady Blue |

Falling in love with your best friend wasn't something you ever anticipated, you had a role to fulfil and your hand was sold. Yet your heart longed for him.

✧Pairing✧ Knight!Steve Rogers x Princess!Reader (Fem)

✧Warnings✧ Fluff, A Little Angst, Talks of Arranged marriage, John Walker (ew), Name Calling, like the teeniest bit of violence, Hurt, Brief mention of injury, Sweet ending

✧Word Count✧ 2.1k

✧Author Note ✧ I WROTE SOMETHING THAT ISNT SMUT!! — happy birthday Stevie Rogers 🥳

You don’t know when it happened, when that little crush became something more, when the hugs became intimate and the kisses were on the lips rather than on the cheeks.

Steve Rogers, your best friend. You’d been born beds apart, your mother a queen and her best friend a noblewoman. You weren’t sure if they planned it or it was fate but they both ended up with child and gave birth almost exactly on the same day.

Steve was headstrong, and a leader. He always made sure you were safe and protected, it was cute how doting he was because ‘he was older’. You were quick to comment how it was only by a few hours.

You were inseparable as kids, spending most of your time in the fields of blue flowers that decorated the walk to the large castle. It’s how you earned the name, Lady Blue - a flower crown of blue atop your head always.

Your infatuation grew for him as you aged into a teen, you weren’t around each other as much because of duties taking up most of your time but you remembered something about absence making the heart grow fonder and you could attest to that.

Steve was away most of the time on the other end of the city, training in the ring to become a knight, his dream. You were stuck in the palace, studying history and languages to be a great queen although you spent much of your time staring out of the window and imagining you and Steve doing the same things you did as kids. Living.

You lied.

You remember exactly when it happened.

Steve's graduation, he finally wore his purple cloak and had his royal etched sword around his hip. Drinks flowed left and right, the night filled with laughter and singing, all muffled behind the thick glass doors leading out to the courtyard where you and Steve sat watching the birds bathe in the fountain.

“How was it?” You asked, both hands soothing over his larger, calloused one, running over each scar and healing wound he donned.

He breathed out slowly, as though you were one of the small birds that he had to tiptoe around so he didn’t scare them off. He knew that you would never be scared of him but he couldn’t shake that feeling, you were so dainty beside him. To think that once upon a time you were a head taller than him.

“It was fine, made some friends” he nodded off to a pair of iron-clad men clinging to each other singing an old folk tune. “Sam and Bucky, they’re wild but they are good guys.”

The air around you thickened if it were possible, something going unsaid between you two, a rope pulled taut that threatened to snap. Steve’s eyes studied you, thoroughly enjoying the sight of you by his side. You looked beautiful, eyes twinkling in the moonlight as your eyes returned to the fountain, your hair shining. You had grown up and become such a beautiful soul that he knew you were.

“I missed you.”

“Hm?” You looked up at him, confusion and curiosity carved onto your features.

“I thought of you all the time being out there, when it got tough and I needed some of those princess bear hugs you gave me” You giggled at his words, bringing about his chuckle. Your knees knocked as you leaned closer, resting your head against his shoulder.

“I missed you too Stevie.”

“Princess” he murmured after a moment, taking a few deep breaths to quieten his pounding heart, although when he looked down at you it skipped beat after beat anyway.

“Ser Rogers” you teased with a cheeky smirk, the sparkle in your hues growing as you almost challenged him to speak. I dare you, your eyes cried out to him.

Steve was never one to back down from a dare.

His lips were on yours before you could even think, embracing yours in a way that left you dizzy before shocking you into action and kissing back with the same ferocity.

Snap, that rope between you broke.

After that night you’d both chosen to keep your love a secret, your father was strict and unforgiving, he would not stand for his daughter dating someone lower than a future heir despite it not being your choice. Even years later, both of you adults still sneaked around like you did when you were teens.

Your door shook with heavy knocks, Ser Barnes’ voice booming from the other end.

“My Princess, the King wishes to see you at once.”

You groaned and let your eyes fall shut again until soft kisses trailing up your shoulder and neck brought a smile upon your face.

“Come on Lady Blue, can’t disappoint Father now” he joked, deep voice raspy from sleep, vibrating against your ear.

Even after all these years each moment you spent with him felt like you were falling in love with him for the first time, diving straight off the deep end and into your sheets with him.

You stood, helping him into his gear so he could slink off and allow your handmaidens in to help you dress.

“I love you” he whispered into the top of your head, placing a chaste kiss there before tilting your chin up to slant his lips against your own. Despite the shortness of it, you were left breathless when he parted, turning on his heel professionally and making his exit.

A ball of dread settled in your stomach at the thought of today’s meeting with your father. For months now he’d been adamant that you were to be married by the end of the year and set about finding suitors, each time you rejected them he’d bring up another. But you loved Steve too much.

You knew it wouldn’t last forever, it couldn’t. You were noble, bound to marry a prince and join two kingdoms in matrimony. He was a knight, he swore an oath to protect you from harm, nothing more.

All of that knowledge didn’t help it hurt any less when you stepped into the throne room, your eyes landing on potentially the worst prince your father had brought to you yet.

The king from the neighbouring place and his son, John Walker. A self-proclaimed prophet that was bound to rule all over the land.

“You will marry Prince John Walker” your father announced, the smug sneer on the prince’s face had you wishing you’d had breakfast before coming here so you could have something in your stomach to throw up.

You were bound to marry a pompous, arrogant, narcissistic man and leave the man who’d loved you since day dot.

You wouldn’t stand for it.

“I will not marry John” You challenged, something you’d only done a handful of times in your life. Your father’s nostrils flared, his jaw clenching and eyes wild.

“Excuse me?”

“I will not marry him” You repeated.

“You don’t have a choice young lady” he rose from his throne, stomping down the steps until his face was in yours. Your legs wobbled as you tried to stand your ground against your father's presence.

“You will marry Prince Walker, you will join our kingdoms and you will bear his heirs, I am sick of you rejecting everyone I introduce you to so I made the decision myself.”

“I won’t” you yelled this time, hurt and angry bubbling into rage “because I love another.”

The words slipped out your mouth, your hand slapping around your face far too slow to catch them.

The room fell silent. Pin drop silent. Steve stood at the entrance of the hall, head hung low to hide the reddening of his face, his hands clamping into fists at his side.

“Who?” Your father’s hand clamped onto your chin, your jaw throbbing in pain at the hold.

“Ser Rogers” you hissed, falling into a pile of clothes and pain when your father’s hand let you go.

“You wench!” he spat in disgust.

You tried to argue, tried to plead with your father but he shrugged you off.

“Ser Barnes, take my daughter back to her room, I want some time with Ser Rogers. Alone.”

You didn’t struggle as Ser Barnes picked you up from the floor, hoisting you over his shoulder. You couldn’t even look at Steve when you walked by.

Ser Barnes set you down on your bed softly, patting the top of your head as you stared off into space, tears rolling down your cheeks. He left and came back with a small glass of water and a muffin which you refused to eat.

Once Bucky left you crawled up to the head of your bed, stuffing your face into your pillow and staining it with black from your mascara. Your door was on constant watch in case you got any big ideas. The Blue Daisy’s had bloomed but you couldn’t leave, you weren’t allowed to leave.

As day turned into night you shifted to look out at the setting sun. Your dinner lay untouched on your table, your focus set firmly on the world outside, families rushing to pack up their markets before the evening rain.

“Lady Blue” you recognised the voice.

“Bucky?”

“Can I come in?” He asked. You hummed your confirmation and the huge brunette slipped in.

“Steve—he’s being shipped off. Tonight.” He explained his stormy eyes on you, watching you process the information.

“So what? It’s not like I can stop it” You answered bitterly, a shell of the woman you usually were. There was no hint of cheer or teasing in your tone like there once was, it had all been left in that throne room.

You took note of his heavy sigh before he inched further into the room, Only then did you gaze up at him. In his hands was a set of clothes, the kind commoners wore along with a large black cloak and a purple velvet pouch.

“Do you love him?” He asked, eyes searching yours.

“More than anything” you replied without hesitation.

“Then we better move.”

“W-what do you mean?” You stood, head tilted and brows furrowed. You just barely caught the clothes that Bucky threw at you.

“His ship leaves in an hour, if you don’t hurry and get changed we’ll miss it”.

You could’ve kissed Bucky.

The shipyards reeked of fish and shit, but you couldn’t care about that. Not now. Hopping off of Bucky’s white steed you pat its neck before looking up at him.

“Thank you, Buck, I don’t know how I can repay you.”

He smiled, taking your hand in his and kissing your knuckles.

“You can get on that ship and live your life Lady Blue. I’ll see you soon” he flashed you one of his pearly white smiles and turned the horse, setting off the way he’d come.

You darted onto the ship, eyes scanning the faces of workers and guests until they fell on the man that you were doing all of this for. Any doubt that boiled in your stomach melted away leaving only one thing remaining, that deep love that Steve gave you. He didn’t turn until you were standing in front of him.

“Princess?” his shocked voice sounded as he looked up at you. He looked tired, his skin pale and a nasty bruise was forming over his cheekbone. No doubt thanks to your father.

“I’m here” you squeaked as he pulled you down into his arms, his warm body and vanilla scent putting you at ease instantly despite the incessant rocking of the ship.

“You're here” he replied, words vibrating against your hairline before he tilted your chin up and stole your lips in a kiss. Just like he had stolen your heart.

“So you do that…yep and then you twist the stalk around…that’s it!!” You cheered as your son finally wrapped the flower correctly, his big blue eyes almost disappearing behind his lids as he squealed in excitement.

“What’s all the yelling about huh?” Steve emerged, tanned skin glowing, covered in a layer of sweat and dirt, an axe resting over his shoulder.

“Daddy look” your son preened, raising the bundle of blue flowers high in the air so the blonde could see.

“Ahhh is Mama teaching you her old tricks huh?” He smiled, kneeling to place a soft kiss on his forehead before doing the same to you.

“Mhmm gotta make sure he can help me every year, isn’t that right baby?” You plopped your finished flower crown onto Steve’s head before ruffling your son's curly locks.

Despite the running, the fighting and the endless struggle to get to where you were now, you could say you’d do it all again to be sat between your handsome husband and his doppelgänger son—in a field of blue daisies. You would do it all again to be home.

I DO NOT give permission to have my work copied, translated or reposted. If you see my work anywhere else except on this page I have not given consent for it to be used.

Comments, Reblogs, Likes & Asks are always appreciated, although if you liked this fic please consider reblogging so it can reach a wider audience. They let me know that you are enjoying what you read and give me motivation to write more.

Thanks for reading~

[buckyownsmylife]

about a girl - chris evans angst

The one where Chris breaks your heart

Warnings: angst

A/N: yes, I did finally write an angsty piece. No, this was not provoked by whatever rumors have been circling around this man's life, as it has been written since last year or something of the sorts. Just enjoy it and don't forget to let me know if you liked it by reblogging it!

Y/N’s P.O.V.

Everything was going well until it all went to shit. That’s the way my life seems to go.

The evening started like it always does: I walked into the party and Chris was already there, chatting up another girl who I had never seen before.

I didn’t feel attacked or intimidated. We’d danced this way before - countless times, in fact. It’d become some sort of routine now. The one who got there first would find some unsuspecting victim to chat up while we waited for the other to arrive.

I’d seen that movie a hundred times before. He never pounced, only played with the food until it got tired and old. That’s when he’d turn around and find me, and together we’d escape to a room or a bathroom - whatever was nearest.

Anywhere felt fine when I had his dick inside of me.

I’d been looking forward to this night for ages. Even primped myself for it. I was wearing my skimpiest dress, and nothing but a thong for Chris to undress tonight. So I didn’t even mind when he didn’t connect his eyes with mine once I walked through the door.

It was all a part of the game, I told myself. He liked the chase, and so did I.

“Why are you looking so gloom?” Brie scared me with the question. I had been staring at my beer for the last twenty minutes, waiting for Chris to make his move. I didn’t question it - he might have gotten lost in conversation. It happened quite often, depending on how much liquor was in his veins by the time I arrived. So I wasn’t even anxious, just a bit antsy. The underwear was riding up my butt and I just wanted to be without it.

I kept playing with the idea of interrupting their conversation to slip my panties into his pocket, but I decided against it. I wasn’t that adventurous. All of my energy in these gatherings was channeled into wild sex in “exotic” places. There wasn’t much of it left by now, as unfortunate as it was.

“I just…” I didn’t even know what to tell Brie. “I don’t know. Might be having a night off, that’s all.” She shouldn’t be worrying about me when the real reason why I was looking so out-of-place still hadn’t even glanced my way.

Another quick look and what I saw had my heart falling down to my stomach. Chris and the girl were full-on making out. He had her against the wall, one hand on her ass and the other buried in her hair, and I didn’t know what to say when my friend followed my line of sight and noticed what had gotten me so sad.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart.” I didn’t need her words of compassion. It only had the mortification from this entire ordeal setting even heavier on my chest. 

I knew Chris didn’t owe me anything; we weren’t boyfriend and girlfriend, we weren’t together together. But every one of our friends knew about our customary hook ups. They were used to looking for us and finding us together, sometimes in compromising positions, so for him to just kiss someone else like it was no big deal felt beyond humiliating to me.

I wanted to go home, then and there. But I also didn’t want my friends to realize how hurt I was about it, so I knew I’d have to stay. I’d stay there and endure the humiliation, even when - through giggles and groans - the two of them found their way into a bedroom together, while I was left alone in the corner of a party I only went to in the hopes of spending time with Christopher.

It was hours before I saw him again, and even then, he didn’t see me - too focused on the conversation he was having with a common friend. I tried to be quiet as I approached them, I actually only wanted to grab myself another beer and they were the ones standing in the kitchen, but since he had his back to me, he didn’t notice my arrival.

I, however, couldn’t not overhear his words.

“So what? We’re not boyfriend and girlfriend anyway. Believe me, I would never date Y/N…” And that’s when he noticed me, standing there with a frown on my face.

I didn’t know how to react. I wasn’t going to lash out. I knew I wasn’t his girlfriend, but to be considered someone who could never earn the title hurt more than I cared to admit.

I didn’t know what to do. So I just left.

“Y/N…” He ran after me, for what reason I couldn’t understand. It’s not like he cared about me, not after what he did tonight.

“No, go away!” I yelled, my voice betraying just how hurt I was by his behavior. I hated it, hated that I couldn’t hide my feelings from the person who was the cause of them.

“Go and jerk off or something. Or find someone else who will fall to her knees and suck you whenever you want it. It obviously won’t be too hard.”

“You won’t at least hear me out?” That had me stopping in my tracks, ire making my heart beat so loud I could hear it ringing in my ears.

“Are you dumb?” I had to ask. “What could you possibly say to justify what happened in there?” That caught him by surprise. He fidgeted in his spot but didn’t open his mouth to say anything, and so I figured we were done for the night.

But just as I was about to leave… “We never talked about anything serious!” As if that was my problem with what had happened in there.

“And believe me, that’s on me.” I shook my head vehemently, crossing my arms in front of my body to show him that I meant business. “But it ends here and now. I can’t keep feeling this way every time we’re in a party together.”

Chris looked like he was struggling with something, but I wasn’t interested in letting him work through it at that time. “I know you could never love me.” Well, I knew that, now. “Not if you behave like that. Not if your only goal in life is to get more women into bed with you.”

He didn’t say anything and that’s when I decided it was time for me to leave. But I probably shouldn’t have mistaken his silence as a sign of his peace of mind, because the second that I turned my back to him, I heard his voice - barely over a whisper: “Maybe I just don’t know how to express my feelings.”

[thefallennightmare]

Forgotten-Part Two

Pairings: Chris Evans x Reader

Warnings: swearing, angst, maybe some fluff

Summary: Have things worked out for Reader and Chris or is their relationship too far gone to try to save?

Author's Note: Here is the very long-awaited part two of Forgotten one shot. Hopefully you all like it!

Snow fell softly but swiftly against the hard ground below as my eyes took in the sight in front of me. Winter in Boston had come on suddenly but I didn’t mind it; never did.  I did find myself minding, however, the news of a bad blizzard just mere hours away. 

Chris was supposed to be flying in two days but with the incoming snow, I knew that those plans were bound to change. With the jump in my heart, I didn’t know if it was a good or bad thing that he might not make it home in time. 

The fire cracking and popping in the fireplace of the large living room had added a small comfort to my worried thoughts. My mind had been racing all day, every day for the last few days in preparation for his arrival back home. We hadn’t spoken much the past few weeks and truthfully, I was thankful. 

I was still upset at the fact that the weekend I tried to surprise him had ended so sour that I was thankful for the time to think things over. While I loved Chris with every inch of my heart, there came a point in the relationship where you got tired of trying to keep things alive and I was close to that point. 

With the last text I received from Chris the other morning made that decision a tad bit easier. 

I know things are hard right now but please remember that I love you. I want things to work out but you have to understand this is my career. I’m not ready to give it up just yet. 

With my text in response, he had gone silent since. 

But yet you’re on the verge of giving me up without even realizing it. 

A quiet whine brought my attention back and with a soft sigh, I nodded towards the dog that had his head perched on my lap. I gave a quick glance at the clock and couldn’t help but giggle. 

“Right on time, Dodge. We need to make this walk a fast one, I think the blizzard is coming faster than they said.”

Dodger was immediately at the door waiting for me while I did my best to bundle up for his post dinner walk. 

“Mother fucker,” I cursed while shedding my winter jackeet, the snow falling to my feet. “I swear you bring me out into the cold to torture me for dad not being here.” 

Dodger took his previous spot in front of the fireplace, his soft snores filling the room once again. 

“He’s a stickler for that post dinner walk. Can’t ever miss it.” 

A hand clutched to my chest as I spun on my heels catching sight of the tall figure leaning against the doorway into the kitchen. His beard had grown a bit in the last few weeks and the bags under his eyes were heavier than the last time I saw him. But the slight smile pulling at his lips warmed my cold skin. 

“Chris, hi. I thought you weren't coming home for a few days.” 

I stumbled over my words with nerves. 

Chris nodded while he bent down to give Dodger some much needed love. “I was but with the upcoming blizzard I was able to fly back early. Plus we wrapped up shooting yesterday.” 

It was my turn to nod. 

“Do you want me to make you something to eat or-?” 

He declined. “I grabbed something to eat on the way home.” 

Silence fell between us, engulfed in an awkward cloud, and I shifted on my feet. There was still some kind of tension between us but neither of us took the first step to talk it through. 

My lips parted, ready to swallow my pride and be the first one to talk about things but when I noticed the weight on his shoulders, I decided against it. 

“I’ll let you get some sleep,” I nodded  towards our room at the end of the hall.  

Chris raised a brow towards me. “Are you not coming?” 

“I’m not tired,” I lied with shifted feet. “I’ll come to bed soon.” 

To be honest, I wasn't sure if he even wanted me in the same bed as him. 

A deep sigh rumbled in his chest before he placed his hands on his hips; a stance I knew all too well. 

“I’m not avoiding anything so don’t even say it,” I warned while walking past him towards our bedroom. 

Anger was beginning to radiate off of me that I hadn’t noticed the way he slowly reached for my hand but I was out of his reach in an instant. 

Chris’ long strides followed behind me. “You do this every time you know?” 

I turned swiftly on my heels and arms crossed over my chest “Excuse me?” 

No matter how quickly he followed behind, there was still a decent amount of space between us. 

“Every time we disagree or have an argument, you’re always the first one to either ignore it or move on. You don’t want to work through things.” 

The scoff that fell from my lips echoed throughout the room. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. Do you remember that weekend? You basically ignored me the whole time I was there.” 

“How many times do I have to tell you that I was-.” 

“Working,” I finished the sentence for him. 

It was always the same argument between us and no matter how many times we would try to talk about it, nothing would come of it. I wanted him to put more effort and time into our relationship but he wouldn’t, no couldn't, stop filming. Not yet. 

I couldn’t hold it against him, however. This was what he loved to do and he was damn good at it. But he would always say he wanted to settle down to start a family soon. Yet here I was, standing in front of him, ready to give him everything he wanted. 

The empty space on my ring finger made me remember that he was in fact not ready for any of that. 

We had been together for years and only wanted each other but Chris couldn’t take that next step which always made me wonder if I truly was the one he wanted. 

“I don’t know what else you want from me, Y/N.” Chris stated, exhausted. 

“All I want is for you to give me the time of day!” I exploded. “When was the last time you texted me good morning when you were away?” 

Hands stuffed deep into his pockets, Chris remained silent. 

“I want you to care about me. You can be in denial all you want but we haven't been the same in a long time. We haven't actually shared a kiss that wasn't a goodbye one in so long. You haven’t even touched me in months, I’m starting to wonder if you even want me like that anymore.” 

Tears pooled in the corners of my eyes. 

“Y/N,-” Chris started. 

“I thought this time apart was going to be good for us but I’m starting to wonder if I should have-,” my voice trailed off. 

“Should have what?” Chris asked with a shaky voice. 

His face was etched with worry. 

My bottom lip trembled and I took a deep breath, trying to gain the courage to say the next words. I wasn’t sure how Chris would react. 

“When I came back from that weekend, I had all of my things packed, ready to move out,” I admitted with a shaky breath. 

He shook his head, dumbfounded. “What?” 

“I was two steps away from walking out the front door but do you want to know what stopped me?” 

“Dodger?” 

A small smirk pulled at the corner of my lips, even in the middle of our fight, Chris knew that at the mere mention of our pup, it would ease whatever tension was between us. 

“Well yes but he wasn't the only thing. I remember turning back to look one last time around the house, the memories we created together, and knew that I couldn’t let you go, not without one last fight for you.” 

Chris shrugged his shoulders, the words I spoke not meaning anything to him. “You were still willing to give up.” 

I scoffed. “Can you fucking blame me? It feels like I’m the only one fighting for us.” 

He started to pace around the room. “I’m so tired of this. Can we sleep on it and maybe continue it tomorrow?”

Without another word, I walked into our shared closet and lugged out my suitcases. Chris watched with parted lips as I started tossing in my clothes and things. 

“Wha-what are you doing?” 

I ignored him and continued on. It was at the point of when I finished, zipping up the suitcases, and was dressing myself ready to leave, that it finally woke Chris up. 

“You’re not leaving,” he informed me while taking the bags out of my hands and placing them back into the closet. 

Anger filled me that he was stopping me. “Chris, stop. You can’t keep me from leaving.” 

“The hell I can’t,” he said. 

I went to side step him, wanting to at least leave for the night because I knew that we weren’t going to solve anything, but he gripped my wrist stopping me. 

“You’re willing to give everything up because I’m too tired to talk?” 

I wretched my arm away from him. “You’ve got some fucking nerve, Chris. You accuse me of turning my back on a fight, willing to ignore it, but yet you were the one that wanted to stop tonight. Do you want me to stay because you love me or because you don’t want to have to deal with starting over with someone else?

He pinched his eyes closed but remained silent. 

“Do you even love me anymore?” I choked out a sob. 

Chris’ shoulders fell, hearing how broken I sounded. 

“Of course I do, Y/N,” he reached for my hand, wanting to link our fingers together. 

“Then why won’t you marry me?” 

My sobs now echoed through our room, the question that I had been dreadding to ask finally falling from my lips. 

He retreated his hand while stumbling over his answer. 

“Please don’t lie, I need to know if this relationship is even going anywhere. We’ve been together for years and everytime I try to bring up the mention of marriage, you blow me off.” 

“Y/N, please. It’s not as serious as you think,” Chris sat on the edge of the bed. 

I stood in front of him, hands on my hips. “Isn’t it? You tell everyone who will listen that you want to settle down and start a family but when I tell you that I’m ready to, you tell me one day or ignore me completely.” 

“It’s my career-.” Chris began. 

“Don’t you fucking say because of your career,” I interupted with a sharp finger pointed towards him. “It’s always the same god damn excuse with you, Chris!” 

My voice boomed off of the walls.

“Just tell me that you don’t want to marry me and I’ll leave your life for good!” 

“It’s because I’m scared!” Chris’ own voice boomed around us while he stood from the bed. 

My body slightly flinched, not in fear, but in shock of never hearing Chris raise his voice before. We had our fights, yes, but not once did he raise his voice towards me. 

He noticed the way I stepped back, lips parted in shock, and slowly reached for me with an apology falling from his own lips. 

“Scared?” I asked. “Of what?” 

For the first time that night, I allowed him to link our fingers together, him bringing them to his lips and ghosting kisses over my knuckles. The first mere action of affection from him was enough to mend my hurting heart. 

“I’m scared of not being the husband you deserve. You deserve someone that you can count on, that will be there when you need them,” Chris began confessing. 

I cupped his cheek and he leaned into my warm touch. “I know I’ve been gone a lot for work the past year and it hasn’t been easy on you or our relationship but I’m finally doing something outside of Marvel.” 

My heart sank, suddenly feeling guilty. I knew that deep down Chris had been dealing with trying to move out of his phased Marvel status, wanting to show his old and new fans that he can be something other than a superhero. 

I told him everytime that they love him for whatever role he decides to take on, he doesn't have to prove anything to anyone. 

“I’m not saying quit acting, Chris. All I want is for you to take some time out for us. Show me some kind of effort.” 

He nodded, lips pressing into my palm.  “I’m trying.” 

I nodded now. “I know you are. And we don’t have to get married right this second but it would be nice to maybe talk about it so I know if you want a future with me or not.” 

“I do, I promise you I do.” 

Chris wrapped his arms around me, bringing me into his chest. I felt his lips pressed into the top of my head, him breathing in my scent. 

I grasped his hips, craving more of this new affection he was giving me. I couldn’t remember the last time we had been in this position. Our bodies began to sway together, the same soft tune playing in both of our minds. 

“I’m sorry I’ve been such a distant asshole,” Chris apologized. 

I pulled away from his chest and looked up towards him, giving a slight shrug. “I’ve been kind of a bitch to you too. We both could have gone about things better.” 

“Forgive me?” Chris wondered, lips pouted. 

I stood on my toes to bring our lips together in a soft but firm kiss, one that caused him to let out a quiet moan into my mouth. Our lips mended together in a much needed heat, our hands grasping at each other's skin underneath our clothes. My fingers worked through Chris' hair, while he snaked underneath my ass, lifting me into his arms with ease. 

“Always,” I mumbled into his lips before feeling my body being gently laid onto our bed. 

[freedomfireflies]

hi hi i saw that you have a story with chris evans so i was wondering if you'd ever be open to writing something about him? and if so ... this is my official request 🥰

“I need you.”

The words out of his mouth are rushed and guttural, and your pulse quickens as you blink the sleep from your eyes. “What…what’s wrong? What happened?”

You hear some shifting and a bit of static before he takes a deep breath and whispers, “Please…I can’t…I just don’t—”

“Chris,” you interrupt firmly, palms beginning to sweat as you attempt to sit up. “Baby, what’s wrong? Did something happen? I can’t help if I don’t know what—”

“Come over.”

You stop, lashes fluttering as you look out into the darkness of your bedroom. “You…baby, it’s three a.m. I can’t just…please, just tell me what—”

“I made a mistake.”

His words are few and far between but this effortlessly breeds fear into your heart as your breath hitches. “What…what do you mean?”

Another sigh. More static. “Please come over.”

You hesitate, heart aching at the sound of his plea. “I don’t…I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

He goes quiet and your eyes squeeze shut.

You don’t like fighting with him. You don’t like doing…this. This awkward exchange where you don’t say how you really feel.

The silence stretches over two minutes but you can hear him on the other side. He’s not letting you go and you settle back down into bed as you prepare for the conversation you weren’t sure you were ready to have before.

“What’s wrong?” you ask again, a bit gentler. Encouraging. “You can tell me, okay? Whatever you did, whatever…whatever’s wrong, you can just tell me. I promise.”

There’s a brief beat before you faintly hear him murmur, “I’m sorry.”

Something in your stomach tightens. “For…for what? What happened, are you okay?”

You think you hear him scoff, but you can’t be sure. “No, I…I fucked up, I shouldn’t have…I…I’m sorry, I never should have…”

Your fingers squeeze the sides of your phone as you will yourself to remain calm. The possibilities and explanations are endless but you don’t go there. Not yet. “Hey, it’s all right, okay? It’s fine, just…you gotta tell me what’s going on, okay? Just tell me what’s wrong.”

More silence and as the seconds tick by, you feel your self-control slip. 

Finally, he speaks. “I never should have let you leave.”

And there it is. Unsure whether to be relieved or saddened, you dejectedly whisper, “Baby—”

“No, I…I knew I shouldn’t have. I knew it when I was watching you walk out. I even knew it as I was watching you get into your car to drive away. I knew it was dumb and that I should have asked you to stay so we could fix it, but I didn’t.” 

You shake your head, despite the fact that he can’t see you. “Baby, it's fine. Okay? I didn’t expect you to ask me to stay. It was a fight. That’s what happens when people fight. We just needed some time to…reevaluate—”

“No.” He rejects this immediately, and you can imagine his frown. “No, I don’t want to reevaluate. I don’t need to reevaluate. I just need you.”

“Chris—”

“No,” he says again. “No, I shouldn’t have let you leave this afternoon. We don’t fight like that, we don’t…we don’t do that. We stay and we talk it out and we fix it. And I didn’t ask you because I thought I knew better but I don’t. I just know you.”

He’s doing his absolute best to tug on your heartstrings, and it works.

“I let you walk away and now I don’t know what to do,” he murmurs. “I can’t sleep without you here. Don’t know how I did before, but I can’t and I just…I don’t want to fight with you. I don’t want to miss you, I just…”

You wait with bated breath for the rest of his admission. You’re desperate to comfort him, all too familiar with the pain he’s struggling through.

You’ve been struggling with it, too.

“I just need you,” he finally whispers. “I need you here. I need…god, please come over. Please. I won’t ask for anything ever again, just…don’t make me go tonight without you. Please.”

And what other choice do you have?

You’re at his place in under half an hour, driving up the mountain to his house tucked behind the trees as he waits for you. 

He’s left the gate open and the front door unlocked. It’s easy for you to slip your way inside the familiar home and Dodger is there to greet you the second you step foot into the living room.

You crouch down to offer a bit of love before timidly murmuring, “Where’s your daddy, hm?”

Dodger simply wags his tail but offers you no answer.

Unsurprised, you straighten back up and glance around. “Chris?” You make your way down the hall, stealing glances into the adjoining rooms. “Baby, I’m here.”

You find him in his bedroom, sitting on the bed and sporting a rather defeated expression.

But the moment he looks up and catches your eye, he sighs with relief.

You make your way for where he sits and he’s quick to part his legs and allow you a space between.

And you find a home there, your palms on his cheeks as you smile down at him.

“You’re here,” he breathes, almost as if he can’t believe it.

You nod once, lip between your teeth. “I’m here.”

For a moment, he simply stares at you as you work through what to say next. The fight is far from over and you know there are still wounds to be mended.

But right now, tonight…this is more important.

You agree to a truce as he tugs you onto the mattress, face nuzzling into your neck as your nails scratch down his back.

You both sleep beautifully that night.

And come morning, you realize he plans to keep his promise.

He’s never letting you walk away again.

I love him my gosh, never hesitate to send me more Chris requests because OOF 😩

~ Other Blurbs

~ Full Masterlist

[bookishtheaterlover7]

How Long Could We Be A Sad Song?

a/n: Well, it's here! The fic that I'm most anxious to write and post. Honestly, I wrote this and got inspiration when I was in my most upset and angsty mood. Which was a few months ago, and it's been sitting within the pages of Maddie (my writing notebook), and my drafts. And somehow through a very frustrating bout of Writer's Block, as well as, the fact that I was reminded and paired my own feelings to "Taylor Swift's You're Losing Me", put it into a moodboard and boom! This fic was born.

Normally, I'd dedicate this to a special friend. But this time, I'd like to deviate, and dedicate this to myself. Weird, I know. This time though, this fic will remind me that every emotion, and every feeling is valid and if vented properly, can and will flourish into something productive and beautiful.

Alright. That's enough talk from me. I hope you all enjoy the fic. And I also hope I didn't crush you, cause well... it's angst, what else can I say? 😆

Chris Evans x Secret Girlfriend!Reader

Requested: No

WARNINGS: Panic Attacks, Angst, Established Relationship, Relationship Drama, Sad Chris, Sad Dodger

Heartbreak Divider by @firefly-graphics

Enjoy!!!

*Y/C/F/M = Your Close Family Member

Outside, the night was quiet, and peaceful. The crickets calling into the night air, frogs singing in unison, adding to the ambiance. Even the noisiest neighbor seemed to have taken some time off from being the thorn on everyone’s side. But while the world seemed almost frozen, Y/n sat in her living room, her heart pounding in her ears, and a knot forming in the pit of her stomach after she told the Love of her Life that she wanted to end their 6-year relationship. The sad part was, Chris seemed so lost as Y/n’s words hung in the air.

“I-I don’t understand...” He finally said, looking up at her from resting his head between his legs, across their living room. The space feeling more like chasm the longer this dragged on.

“I know you don’t, Chris.” Y/n sighed, getting up from her chair, and kneeling beside Chris, before taking his trembling hands in hers, hoping to give him some comfort, knowing that he could spiral into a Panic Attack in his fragile state. She knew because, if she didn’t do it for herself, she’d do the same.

They let the silence of their built home surround them, like a warm blanket. Both knew that they were only delaying the inevitable, but they selfishly wanted to hang on to what little time they had left together.

Time felt like it slowed, as Y/n’s gaze remained focused on their joined hands. Taking her back to a time years ago, on a bench, when Chris first saved Y/n...

She had been touring New York with her family, unfortunately, the crowds were too overwhelming for her, and while they were forming their lines to enter the theater of some play, Y/n couldn’t focus her breathing long enough to look at the marquee, and her chest felt tighter and tighter, as she told *Y/C/F/M that she’d like to grab a bite from the stall she saw near a bench, a few ways back, and left before he/she/they could protest.

She took advantage of the open air, and tried to regulate her breathing, by taking slow deep breaths, before arriving and collapsing on the bench. Resting her head against the back of it and feeling and inhaling the passing fresh breeze. The tightness in her chest was still there, and she continued taking deep breaths in order to regulate her breathing, not even noticing the handsome stranger, standing next to her.

“Uh, hi! Excuse me? Miss? Ar-are you okay?” He greeted, his blue eyes gleaming, as Y/n took a big breath before answering.

“Huh. Yeah. Yeah. I’m fine, Sir. Just feeling a little overwhelmed. Is all.” She laughed, wiping her cheeks. Just noticing that there were tears running down them.

“I get that. No matter how many times you do this, or come here, it can still get overwhelming... May I?” The stranger asked, gesturing to the empty space next to her. To which she nodded and scooted over a little to give him some room.

He put his bag down between his legs, opened one of the pockets and pulled out a couple of tissues, before handing them to her. That Y/n gratefully accepted, dabbing at the corners of her eyes.

“The city is actually quite beautiful, but I’d prefer it if it didn’t have so many goings on, you know?” She said, breaking the comfortable silence that settled over them.

“Oh, I definitely know. It’s places like this right here, though, that helps.” He said, admiring the way the bench overlooked a cluster of buildings in the most picturesque way.

“Is that an invitation to meet here again?” Y/n laughed.

“Maybe... Are you going to take me up on it?” The stranger laughed, his face expressing hope.

“I might...” She smiled, holding her hand out, now being able to breathe easier.

“Y/n.”

“Chris.” He replied, taking it and shaking it.

It wasn’t until Y/n returned to the theater that she realized WHO she had just met. And it definitely took her a while to shake it off, and, even if it seemed like a fluke at the time, she was pretty sure that Chris winked at her from the stage that night.

She was thankful for how he helped her. And it just became a thing for them to do the other, even a couple years later, when Chris was presented a way to possibly earn money during the pandemic.

Y/n focused her gaze on the mantel, her mind wandering to when she and Chris first made this place into their home. Moving things around, deciding which items gets put on display, what color the walls are gonna be... Back when everything was possible.

“How time flies...” She trailed off.

“Y/N/N. Baby...” Chris cried, his voice breaking at the end. Which caused Y/n to swallow a sob too.

“How can I make this better? I can fix this for us.” He said, hopping down from the seat onto Y/n’s level on the floor.

“That’s the thing, Chris. You can’t.” Y/n cried, pulling her hands away, and wrapping them around herself, in an attempt to give herself some comfort, as well as ground her.

“This is the most cliche thing that I’ve ever said, but it’s not you, it’s me. I can’t handle it... It’s getting too much for me, and the sad thing is, it’s not even your fault, because it’s my own feelings, and you’re just doing your job...” She ranted, her heart going a mile a minute, her chest feeling tighter.

“Hey. Hey.” Chris said, gently taking her hands, placing one on his cheek, and cupping her cheek, allowing her to follow his breathing, slowing hers down.

They let time pass, just holding the other close. Letting the other’s presence bring their calm. Like always.

Chris has just realized how much of a colossal fuck up he just made. How the fuck did he not notice?! That Story went from wholesome to “What did I just do?!” in just a few hours.

His heart was racing a mile a minute, and he felt like he couldn’t catch his breath. Pacing back and forth on his balcony, the fresh air rendered useless in relieving him.

“Hey. Chris, everything’s going to be alright, okay?” Y/n said, putting one hand on his shoulder, getting his attention on her.

“Deep breaths. 2 seconds in, 3 seconds out. C’mon, Babe. Do it with me.” She smiled, helping him breathe through his attack.

Some time later, Y/n helped him onto their couch. Dodger hopping on next to Chris, allowing him to pet the little guy. She had left the room to grab him a glass of water. Which after handing it over to him, she sat down behind Dodger, hand on Chris’ knee, letting her presence and silent assurance say what words may fall short on.

“We can do this, Baby. We can work through this, fight it.” Chris said, pulling back to look at Y/n’s eyes, determined.

“No, Chris. We can’t. I can’t.” She said, pulling away, and standing so that she was facing away from him, the view from their window her only comfort in this moment.

“I know that you want to make this work, because you’re you. But I can’t let you. Do you really want to stay, when I feel like a ghost in my own relationship? I literally could send you the biggest most obvious sign, and I don’t think you’d hear me.”

“But I’m here, Y/N/N. I’m right here, and I’m not going anywhere.” Chris pleaded.

“Yeah. What happens when you need to go, Chris? When they need you to do something, again. And I have to see pics of you and her, knowing full well that that’s supposed to be me. On your arm, announcing our love and our relationship to the world. Taking on every comment, every hate, every piece of scrutiny, together. Instead, the world believes in that sham, because they don’t know I exist in your life.” Y/n cried, turning towards him, not even bothering to hold her tears back anymore.

Chris tried to reach out for her, but she took a step back. Not letting him hold her, knowing full well that if he did, everything will feel right, and she won’t be able to do what she needed to.

“This is just temporary, Baby. It’ll soon end, and at some point, we can walk out of those doors, and be able to show everyone.” Chris said, tears shining in his own eyes.

“You’ve been saying that for years. And honestly, you don’t even know when will it end exactly. And it’s destroying you. I know that you only did this to help your family, but it shouldn’t be at the expense of your own happiness.” Y/n said with conviction, her gaze filled with so much intensity, Chris avoided it and made his way to their room.

“You know, I’m right, Chris.”

“Well, has it ever crossed your mind, that maybe, I’m doing this for us? That maybe, it isn’t just for myself and my family? But for our future together?” Chris yelled, exasperated.

“And you know, that I have never cared about any of that! I don’t care if you’re some world-famous actor, or some rich gazillionaire, or whatever. I care about you, Chris. I don’t know why you could never see that.” Y/n sighed in disbelief, turning away from Chris, heading out the door to grab her bags and leave, forever.

“Wait. Baby, please wait.” Chris said, grabbing her wrist, and holding it gently, not wanting to hurt her, but make one last stitch effort to make her stay.

“I love you, isn’t it enough? I’m all yours. No part of me is ever not going to be yours. We just need to hang in there a little longer.” Silence filled the air, Y/n remaining silent for what felt like hours, until she finally spoke.

“You know I will always love you, too, Chris. But I can’t stay and end up hating you as a result. I wouldn’t be able to survive that. I’m sorry.” She said, looking at his gorgeous eyes, committing them to memory, before pulling away, and continuing her short walk to the door.

She had one foot out the door, when she felt a small tug on her pant leg. Looking down at a sad Dodger, whining, begging her to stay.

“Hey, Bubba. Don’t be sad. I will never not love you. And I need you to make sure, your Daddy remembers that too. Can you do that for me?” She said, kneeling down and petting him while smiling through her tears, as Dodger barked in reply, licking her face.

“Alright. That’s my good boy.” Y/n said, giving him a final pet before nudging him away from the doorway, and closing it behind her.

The silence wasn’t as comforting without her there. Even as Dodger assumed his duties, nudging against Chris, as he petted him. He felt numb, like a huge chunk of himself was removed and no way to fill the hole.

“It’s just you and me now, Bud... Just you and me.”

a/n: You guys still good? I hope it wasn't too bad. I may need to write something to balance out the angst, but that'll be a while... 😬

Special thanks to the best girls in the world for encouraging me, and getting me through my panic attacks to finish this. I couldn't have done it without you. Love y'all! 🥹❤️

And I'm also pretty sure that this'll be the only Chris Evans as himself fanfiction I'll ever write or post... We'll see.

But will this be my last Taylor Swift x CE/Character song fic? Definitely not 😉

Until the next one! Stay safe and sane, Everyone 🫶

❤ Booky

Main Masterlist

Chris Evans Characters Masterlist

Taylor Swift x CE/Characters Songfic Masterlist 😉

Taglist: @nescavaneck @jiyascepter @royalwriteroftheuniverse @femefetalelevelingup

[hiddenwritingsintheworld]

Midnight Rain Ch. 4

Rich Mans World Series | Man After Midnight Series

Donations | Thoughts & Feelings | Chapter 3

“It was fucking wild Seb. She acted like she was her regular old self again and I just know she’s gonna crash and burn it all to the ground.” Brooke said as she helped Seb cook dinner. “Maybe she is just getting back to her normal self Brooke…why is that such a bad thing? It’s been almost 4 months since she lost her child, why does she have to remain in this constant state of depression and wanting to kill herself?” Seb turned asking her as a thick silence fell over the kitchen. 

“I’m not going to kill myself. I lost my baby, that alone will keep me fighting for some while. I have boxes that need donated, Seb if you could handle that or call Anthony or someone, I don’t care who. Just get someone to take care of it. The rest of the items not being donated will be moved to my new apartment across town.” you said causing both Sebastian and Brooke to turn and look at you. “You two can take over the lease here…I don’t want it any longer.” 

“Y/N…I don’t think that’s such a great idea.” Brooke said walking around the island to you. You looked at her, squaring your shoulders. “While I appreciate everything and I do mean everything you and Sebastian have done for me Brooke, I don’t need pity…I don’t need a mother hen standing over me, making sure I don't cry at the drop of a hat. I need a right hand girl who's going to gut the guy responsible for killing my child. If you can’t provide that service now, then guess what? Move along and I’ll find someone better.” You weren’t vicious in your speech, you were stern. You…you were back. “I packed up….her room as well. Donation boxes are in the hallway, if we could get that taken care of before I get back that would be great. I worked on this all night, I am not changing my mind, I don’t want to think about it anymore. I’m going to go meet a friend for coffee, I’ll be back later.” you said as Brooke tried to interrupt you multiple times. 

“Wait, a friend?” It was Sebastian's turn to follow you. “Are you meeting Chris?”  he asked as you grabbed your purse and headed for the hooks that held the keys. “No, I am not. I haven’t spoken to Chris since he left yesterday. I said I was meeting a friend. Not my…” you stopped short before turning to look at Sebastian. “I’m meeting a friend at the Starbucks down the road, if you need me, you may reach me on my cell phone, but unless it’s an emergency, then don’t try to reach me. If I need anything I’ll call you.” you said before snatching up the keys, and walking out the door without another word. 

Sebastian looked at Brooke who stared back at him, “What are you waiting for! Grab your purse and let's go!” he said, huffing out. Like they’d ever let you go out alone to meet someone they weren’t familiar with. 

“So, how are you?” you asked Steve as you both sat in a small circular booth in the back of your favorite coffee shop. Steve smiled while sipping the coffee before looking at you, “I’m good. Better now that we’re having this mini date.” he chuckled as you laughed softly. “A Mini date? If this is considered a mini date…what do you consider a real date?” you asked as he leaned back, smirking at you. “First of all, I’d pick you up, none of this…” he made a motion with his fingers, “driving yourself…you’re a lady, you should be treated as such. Secondly, we’d go to this nice little italian restaurant, I’d rent it out, so it’s just you and I…play romantic music, take our time enjoying dinner, dancing a little. Then, once dinner was done, we’d go for ice cream, then after enjoying an ice cream, I’d be the perfect gentleman and drop you off at your front door, a soft kiss, and then…I’d call you the next day to set up our next date.” he picked up his coffee as his eyes drifted away from you and out the window to your right. 

You stared at him, realizing that you’d never been treated right, Chris never did this, he never treated you like this…you couldn’t recall the last date you went on with him. You smiled and raised your eyebrows as you brought the coffee cup to your lips. “Sounds like you know how to show a girl a good time.” you mumbled out after sipping the hot liquid. You welcomed the burning sensation in your throat, making it difficult to speak for a moment. Steve was incredible, he’d told you about breaking up with his long time girlfriend around 5 months ago, that he’d tried to go out a few times but found the women were really just dating him to get him into bed, which he did not do on the first date. 

Steve also told you about his dog, a golden retriever named Boomer, and his fat orange tabby cat, Bernie, "Boomer sounds like a sweetheart," you remarked, recalling Steve's stories about his furry companions. "And Bernie must keep him on his toes," you added with a chuckle.

Steve nodded, a warmth spreading across his face as he talked about his pets. "Yeah, they're quite a pair. Boomer's always up for a game of fetch, and Bernie, well, he thinks he's the king of the house."

You smiled, enjoying the easy conversation and the genuine interest Steve showed in sharing these details with you. It was refreshing, a stark contrast to the indifferent and self-centered attitude Chris had always displayed. 

As you both continued chatting, you found yourself captivated not only by Steve's stories but by his attentive manner and the way he made you feel valued and respected. It was something you hadn't realized you'd been missing until now.

The cozy ambiance of the coffee shop seemed to fade into the background as you lost yourself in conversation, the hours passing unnoticed. Before you knew it, Steve glanced at his watch and chuckled softly. "Looks like we've been here longer than I realized." You checked the time as well, surprised at how quickly the afternoon had flown by. "Time really does fly when you're having a good time," you replied with a smile.

Steve nodded in agreement, his eyes meeting yours with a warmth that sent a flutter through your stomach. "I've really enjoyed today," he admitted sincerely.

"Me too," you replied softly, feeling a sense of contentment settling over you that had never existed before.

Steve hesitated for a moment, then reached across the table, his hand covering yours gently. "Would you like to do this again? Maybe for a... proper date this time?" You looked down at his hand on yours, a smile tugging at your lips. "I'd love that," you answered, meeting his gaze with certainty.

And as you sat there, hands intertwined, you couldn't help but feel grateful for this unexpected moment, realizing that sometimes, the best things come when you least expect them.

Tag List:

@adriellej @auriel187 @patzammit @bval-1

[imyourbratzdoll]

Hi! I love your fics so much and wanted to send in a request if that would be okay with you!!💗 could you please do a lifeguard!Ari Levinson x Tiny!reader where she brings him lunch while he’s at work, she’s wearing a bikini… obvi. When she gets there she sees girls flirting and staring at Ari and she gets really jealous, size kink… smut? 😁

hey honey! thank you so much, I'm sorry this took so long, and I hope you like it.

summary - you go to surprise your boyfriend and get jealous over the women hanging around him.

warning - smut, angst, jealousy, daddy kink, creampie, breeding kink, swearing, public sex.

18+ only please, the gif I use isn't mine, divider by @newlips

You wanted to surprise your partner. You decided to make his favourite food, wrapping it in cute packaging before putting it in an adorable picnic basket and wearing the sexy bikini that Ari had gifted you. You were happy as you skipped up, excited to see Ari, but you began to regret it as you got closer. Your man stood with tall, good-looking women around him, their hands touching his biceps, and they seemed to be flirting. Was this what he does when he’s here? Did you not mean anything? Were you too short? Many thoughts flew around in your mind, causing the green-eyed monster to appear. 

You can feel your inner brat begin to make its way to the surface. With a huff, you stomp your foot and angrily turn around, not feeling in the mood to have lunch with Ari anymore. You don’t notice Ari turning his head with a smile as he sees you, which slowly turns into a frown when he catches you walking away. He growls when he realises why. These stupid bimbos are always crowding him daily, and he’s learnt to zone them out, watching out for danger. They had known he was taken, but they didn’t care, and he wished he could drown them in the same ocean he was watching. 

Ari pushes the women as he stalks after you, nodding to the other lifeguard to take over for him. “Baby!” Ari huffs, breaking out into a jog as he chases after you. “Baby! Goddamit woman! Slow down!” He growls, wondering how a tiny ass woman can be so damn fast. Ari finally catches up to you, quickly getting ahead and stopping before you. He sighs when he notices the look on your face, knowing he’d have to make it up to you. “Baby girl. Where do you think you're going?” 

You roll your eyes, attempting to walk past him but feel annoyed as he stops you. “Ari, let me go. I’m not in the mood. Go back to your beach, bimbos.” You grumble, and a squeal escapes as you are suddenly lifted, your feet no longer touching the ground as Ari carries you to a secluded part of the beach. Your tiny fists hit his back, gasping as his large hand smacks your plump cheeks. 

Ari plonks you down onto the ground and stands over you. “Now, baby girl. You know I love you, and I’d never cheat on you, so why let your inner brat take over?” His hands rest on his hips before he kneels and crawls on top of you, gripping your cheeks softly. “Did my little baby come to give daddy some lunch, hmm? Did you come here wearing my favourite bikini and then get jealous thinking I’d rather have someone else?” A moan slips past your lips as he rubs his prominent bulge against your covered cunt. “Why don’t I make it up to you, baby.” You whine when he slides your bikini bottoms to the side and takes his throbbing member out. Ari lines the thick cock with your entrance before slowly pushing in, grunting with how tight you are around him. “Fuck, baby!” 

Your eyes roll to the back of your head, feeling your walls spasm wildly around his cock as he continues to push in deeper and deeper, stretching you open from the inside. Your hands fly to his back, digging your nails into his flesh as your head flies back. “Daddy! Daddy! Oh fuck!” You whine and moan, wrapping your tiny legs around his giant body. Your screams echo as he begins to pound into you, fucking you hard and deep, marking you, claiming you. 

“Fuck, you feel so fucking good, baby. Why would I want someone else when I have you, huh?” Ari growls, holding your tiny body down as he destroys you, taking you apart underneath him. His cock splits you open, drilling into you until you wither underneath him, your back arches, and your eyes roll to the back of your head as your arousal squirts out of you and covers him. “Yeah, that’s right, baby. Squirt for daddy.” Ari’s hand slithers between you and plays with your swollen clit, prolonging your orgasm. His balls tighten, and his cock begins to twitch wildly before thick amounts of cum spurt out of him and deep into you, stuffing you full of him. “Gonna pump you full of me, let everyone know your mine, and I’m yours as your round with my child.” You whimper underneath him, cumming at his words. 

Ari leans down and places a soft kiss on your lips, holding you close to him as he strokes your cheek. “I love you so much, baby. You’re my little doll.”

thank you for reading!

feedback and reblogs are greatly appreciated.

[callmissrogers]

There For His Girl | Steve Rogers x Reader One Short

Summary: Y/n has reached her limit. Work has been difficult. People have been short, and some just mean. It all brings her back to her childhood, and right now, she just wants to pretend to be ok. So determined to pretend she tries to push her concerned husband away.

WARNINGS ⚠️ This contains mentions of a toxic relationship with the reader's mother and quotes some of their arguments. If this is a trigger for you, please DO NOT proceed. It also contains angst, fluff, and comfort. Also, very little editing and wrote on my phone.

Steve Rogers x wife reader

Word count: 1,370

Notes: The next part in the That's My Girl series will be going up today or tomorrow. I was feeling the need for some comfort myself, so this is what I wrote. Hope you like it!

Y/n slammed the door, tears streaming down her face she pressed her back into the wall and slid down until she was a small ball on the floor.

"Why do I do this?" She sobbed hating herself.

Y/n had had a rough few days. It seemed like no matter what she did or said, people were short with her. Everything was going wrong, and after one mistake, which led to a snarky backhanded compliment from Tony Stark himself, well, Y/n was done. Usually, it didn't get to her like this anymore, but her emotions frayed to a breaking point.

Her dad always told her she wore her heart on her sleeve but she just thought her mom was right and that instead of enduring this made her a nuisance.

Why should she be so bothered when people utter unkind things to her?

Why can't she pull herself together?

"You're always start crying! Stop trying to make me feel bad"

"You're stabbing me in the back by trying to do something different"

"Don't you know I need you here? Stop thinking about yourself and making everything harder on me"

This and many other instances where y/n would be belittled, ridiculed, screamed at, lectured for two hours at 1 in the morning, and reduced to making herself as small and as unseen as possible while being a sobbing mess, had made her what she is today.

Too sensitive. At least that's what she told herself at times like this.

And why couldn't she just talk about it like a normal person instead of blowing something trivial out of proportion?

Literally five minutes ago....

Steve had come home the night before. Poor guy had been so tired that he fell asleep in uniform on the couch.

Y/n had been carefully tiptoeing around the kitchen so as not to accidentally wake him up. Intending to surprise him before heading to work.

She was supposed to be going over mission plans with Vision today. This was the kind of work that excited her. None of the agents would bother them while they were working, which meant that she could just disappear for the day.

She platted up breakfast and carried it over to set it on the coffee table in front of the sleep soilder.

Tho he didn't actually wake up until she set down his mug of coffee.

Eyes fluttering open he peered up at her groggyily. "Hi" He mumbled, pushing himself upright. "Hey sleepy head." Y/n said, trying to make her voice sound chipper.

Steve sighed contentedly as he stretched out his muscles before standing up.

"Mind if I go change clothes before I enjoy this masterpiece?" He asked. Y/n turned to face him, attempting to smooth down his wild bedhead and then said, "Go ahead"

He was back a matter of moments, settling down next to her and drinking deeply from his coffee.

"Thank you for this," He sighed leaning over and gently kissing her on the cheek. Y/n just nodded, trying to keep her mind on a healthy track she focused on eating.

"Did you sleep well?" Steve asked. Taking another bite, she thought about lying and telling him that she had had the best night sleep.

"Sorta" She said trying to stiffle a yawn. "What does sorta mean?" Steve asked turning to look at her. "Nothing really. I'm good! Nothing some strong coffee won't fix."

Steve placed his hands on her shoulders, making her look at him. He studied the dark circles, the faint tint of bloodshot in her eyes, how she held herself and her fiddling hands.

"Hm," He said, his voice low in his chest.

Y/n knew exactly what he was doing, shaking his hands off her shoulders and standing up she said, "I should probably get ready for work."

Steve stood up, grabbing her wrist and stopping her. "Y/n, you look exhausted." "I'm fine" "You're twirling your hair, which means you're not telling the truth." "Steve, c'mon I don't have time for this" "Y/n, it looks like you've been crying" She pulled his hand off her wrist and started to walk away from him, "I'm going to work." "Sweetheart, please just tell me what's - " "Steve! Please just listen to me and leave me alone!" She yelled, cutting him off. She ran off to the bedroom, and that's when the door slammed.

Steve stood there a moment, thinking about honoring her request and leaving her be. But his protective nature overtook him and he decided that the best thing to do would be to be there for his girl.

In the bedroom.

Y/n sat against the wall still crying into her hands, body trembling, thinking hateful thoughts about herself.

She heard Steve knock on the door, saying "Sweetheart, can I come in?"

When she didn't answer him, he slowly opened the door and stepped inside.

She could feel him kneeling down in front of her, "Sweetheart," He whispered, trying to tuck her hair behind her ear to which she only buried her face further.

The next thing that happened, was Steve scooping her up into his arms and settling down in the arm chair that sat in the room.

Somehow this just made her cry more.

"Oh honey, come on now. Take a deep breath. In through the nose and out through the mouth." He soothed.

After about ten minutes of this, her crying settled down, breath becoming rhythmic.

Once he was sure that she had calmed down enough to be able to communicate with him, he asked his voice low and rumbling through his chest, "Do you wanna talk about what's going on in that pretty little head of yours?"

She nodded against his shirt. "Everything" she gasped. "Everything?" He asked, pulling her back so he could look her in the face. Dabbing away the leftover tears.

"I'm too emotional. Everything the last few days just hurts. I let everything get under my skin... I just. . Lately, people and Stark are just mean, or maybe I'm just too sensitive.. and now I've yelled at you, too." She said, trying to get up.

"Now hold on a minute, " He cooed, keeping her in place.

"What did Tony say?" "Nothing. I messed up and he was being sarcastic, but I'm such a mess that it hurt" she said her voice breaking. "Alright. Listen to me. One, you are not too emotional. The world tells everyone to button up and be cynical. You, my dear, are a light in all that mess. You do care and that's a very good thing -- I don't want you to listen to anyone that would belittle that, ok?" He asked getting a slow, uncertain nod in response. "Ok. Secondly, people can be mean, especially Stark. People also have power trips and want to pull people down to make themselves feel stronger or better. This means there's one thing you can always be certain of: Do you know what that is?" "What?" "They're wrong. Anyone who would belittle you to make a point or to win an argument or for any other reason, is just a bully." "But what if-" "ah. No what ifs. Thirdly, and this one is the one that's most important of the three." "Then why'd it come last?" She asked clearly beginning to feel a little bit better if she could tease him now. Steve simply rolled his eyes and continued,

"I want you to remember that when you're upset, you can always talk to me. No matter how silly it might make you feel, your feelings are safe with me." "Steve I just yelled at you for no rea-" "No. You had a reason. You were upset. I can see that and you know what that means? It means I can take it too. When I put this ring on your finger," He said taking her hand in his and running a finger across her knuckles. "I signed up for this. I'd rather have you get emotional than bottle things up and hide them from me."

Y/n looked down at their still intertwined hands and then back up at him. Nodding again and breathed out an "ok"

"Ok." Steve replied, giving her his usual comforting smile and kissing her forehead.

[coltrainbat]

What about chubbish and kind reader getting criticized for dating the world's sexiest man of 2022, she felt upset and cries. Chris felt angry at the people who doesn't know about his girlfriend

Sexist Girl Alive (Curvy!Reader)

A.N/WARNING: Screenshots are obvi fake, TW for fatphobia, slurs, people being mean ☹️ but happy ending, photos arent mine (mwah pinterest)

You smiled at the photo of you two, dressed up before a night out. Chris lips lovingly on your cheeks as you smiled happily. You thought you looked great in your new skin tight dress. Sure it showed a few insecurities but you hoped the black would hide it. Your makeup and hair was all done up and Chris couldn’t stop loving on you all night.

You chuckled at the sweet yet corny caption. He would never live it down - would he? You shook your head, grinning like an idiot. 

Fighting your better instinct, you went through the comments, chewing your thumb nail as you eyes laid on the key words:

“Fat” 

“Cow” 

“She takes up the whole mirror.” 

“It should be illegal for someone like her to wear a dress like that”

“Chris Evans is legally blind if he thinks she’s sexy”

You licked the taste of salty tears that had landed on your upper lip. You took a shaky breathe out as you quickly wiped away the tears that were forming. You felt pathetic, crying about what a bunch of nobody’s had to say about your body. They were jealous, they didn’t know you, they were protective of their internet boyfriend - your mind ran through all the reasons for such vile comments but that still didn’t stop the feeling of sadness and inadequacy that ran through you. 

That was until a wet little nose landed on your cheek, paw pushing the phone away from your face. 

“Would you look at that you found mama- baby what’s wrong?” Chris came in, catching your tear stained cheeks and red, watery eyes.

“The um… instagram you posted you-“ You were hiccuping, anxiously patting Dodgers coat. Too embarrassed to meet his eyes, firmly focused on the Instagram comments that were now blurry. 

“I didn’t post your nudes did I?!” His face full of concern that he had pulled another, much worse, social media blunder. 

“No.” You left out a shaky faux laugh 

“You left comments on and well some people aren’t very nice.” 

“Show me right now.” His jaw went tight and his expression changed to pure disgust and anger.

You handed him the phone, digging your face into Dodgers coat, drying your tears.

Chris’s eyes scanned the comments, jaw tightening as he grounded his teeth. 

“That’s it.” He throw the phone next him, making his way up in a frenzy.

“Chris it’s not a big deal I’m just emotional.”

“It is a fucking big deal.” He raised his voice now, running his hands through his hair in frustration. Chris wasn’t an angry person, rarely getting upset but when you were involved; people better run.

It perplexed him everyday how he thinks he landed the most beautiful woman in the world yet people want to pick apart something as stupid as your weight.

Chris wasn’t blind at all, he was  engrossed and obsessed with every curve, every roll, every stretch mark, every sag. He loved them all.

He couldn’t get enough of grabbing your belly whenever he could, even in public. His hand without fail always travelled from your waist to your pudge, slowly stroking the skin or the fabric - it relaxed him.

Or at home when he’d forgo your ass and instead just grab a roll and jiggle it in his hands, fuck, in his mind it was a bonus to your ass, more skin he could fondle and touch and enjoy, more ways to get a whole body ripple out of you.

Or in the morning before you’d wake up when he’d slowly trace your stretch marks, adoring the way they looked like tiger stripes he felt like they were a natural piece of art on your body.

The way your thighs would wrap tightly around his head, a built in pillow for him to rest on while he traced your body with his hands, following the natural trail created by your curves.

How every hug felt soft and warm as you pressed your plump body up against him, he would get so frustrated that he couldn’t grab every single part of you all at once and just squeeze but a hug was the closest thing.

He didn’t think pure beauty existed until he saw you for the first time, he remembers the way he jaw fell agape slightly and his eyes widened desperate to touch you, desperate to have you in his bed every night. 

You were his now and he wasn’t going to let some bullshit comments take that away from him.

To take the spark and light out of you, to push you down to a place where you felt you were anything but incredible.

You body wasn’t just a wonderland but the home for the soul in which he adored, his kind, intelligent, resilient, witty, outspoken, well read and highly cultured, drop dead gorgeous woman.

The purity of you being so authentically yourself was sacred to him and he was fiercely protective of you for that.

He dreaded the day the comments got too much and he cringed at the thought of you changing any part of the woman he met for some fucking comments. It wouldn’t happen. Not on his watch.

“You can’t just- you can’t fucking say those things about someone! I mean we go back 200 fucking years and there’s your body in fucking oil paintings around castles and here we are now where your accomplishments, your personality, your kindness, your fucking beauty is just completely shitted on.”

“I dealt with it way before I started dating you.” 

“Well it ends now.” He said crouching down in front of you as you sat curled into a ball on the couch. 

His eyes had softened and he was desperate for you to meet his. Wanting to assure you with everything he had that this meant nothing to him. 

“Baby you know I don’t agree with those comments right. Fuck, you remember how much I couldn’t keep my hands off you that night.”

“And every night before.” You snorted 

He gave you a soft smile, happy you were back to making jokes “Exactly.” 

“It’s my fault I should of turned comments off but we shouldn’t have to do that. I’m going to write something and that should be the end of it.” 

“We shouldn’t react that’s what they want.” You said wearily.

“In no world is that going to be said about you and I just sit back and let it happen. Absolutely not. Now come on, let’s get you in the bath.”

You sunk into the steaming water as the smell of lavender and rose filled your nose and muscles you didn’t realise you were tensing finally relaxed. Repeating mantras of self assurance in your head with the distant sound of Chris scurrying around the bedroom and his muffled voice on the phone. 

 Getting out and into your robe after an hour you made your way into the bedroom, finding an exhausted Chris waiting for you on the bed.

“Come here I wanna show you something.” He tapped the spot next to him, inviting you to snuggle against his chest as he got out his phone.

You rolled your eyes, sighing as you got comfortable. 

“Read.” He said sternly, putting his phone into your hand.

You brushed the tears forming in your eyes from happiness. Two things you could always count on with Chris is his ability to make you the happiest person alive and his passion. Combine them and you’re a babbling mess of gratitude and love. Pulling his head down towards you, peppering kisses all over his face and whispering thank you against his lips. 

“Don’t thank me come on now.”

“It was very well said.”

“Yeah well we won’t need this for awhile.” He grabbed his phone from you, throwing it down the bed as he fell off the edge, landing with a small thump.

“Come here sexy, I wanna love on my girl.” You giggled as his beard brushed against your neck as he left wet soppy kisses down your body, untieing your robe to get your unfiltered body in all its glory. 

Chris’s comments created a storm of support, bringing up a conversation of why a woman’s body is ever a topic of concern and the high expectations of male celebrity partners to look a certain way. 

And months down the line he still stood by them. Stating in an interview:

“I don’t think I have ever been more furious than when I read those comments. You know you have this beautiful, intelligent partner and you’re both in this happy little bubble of love and admiration and then these strangers, randoms on the internet just start attacking them for all the things you love about them. It’s like a kick in the gut. I felt so guilty like it was my fault because she didn’t ask to be famous or anything and it’s not easy to give that privacy and anonymity up to follow your heart but she did it anyways and all she was met with was horrible comments. Man, I was so scared that was going to be it for her and I’d never see her again. It just felt like people don’t realise that’s a real person, we are real people and if you wouldn’t say that to someone’s face then why comment it where they can see? She didn’t deserve that at all and I was going to do everything in my power to make sure it never happened again. She means the world to me, I’d do anything to protect her. I’m just lucky I get to wake up to her everyday and she’s this strong, resilient person who can’t be knocked down easily.”

[regalevansworth]

Loving you

(Songfic — ‘Back to December’ by Taylor Swift)

Pairing : Chris Evans x Male Reader

Summery : Christmas is said to be the festival of joy and happiness. But for you, it brings the unbearable burn of old wounds. The ones you are so desperate to heal, to make all right. But will he ever give you the chance? After all you did to him? The pain, the heartbreak you caused him? Do you really deserve it? Unbeknownst to you, the person still aches for your love. He still stands where you left him, waiting for you to come back.

Warnings/tags : No warnings. Pure angst & fluff

A/N : First of all, I'd like to thank all of you for giving my Lloyd Hansen fic so much love. It truly means a lot. And secondly, this is a small (late) Christmas gift for my Tumblr fam.I actually have a Chris Hemsworth fic already in the work, which hopefully will be released soon. In the meantime, enjoy this angsty fluffy treat that came in my mind outta nowhere. Back to December is one of my favourite Taylor Swift songs and converting it into a fic was interesting. Hope you love it. MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

There is a party at the community park today. The party of Christmas Eve. People are going to gather around and make merry as the season of Christmas settles around. Being one of the biggest community in Boston, the people held no reservation against making it ostentatious. You also heard that a special guest is to come with their family but the identity of the person is rather undisclosed. A surprise sort of.

As a part of this community you are also going to attend the party. And having a good reputation for being a 'singer-in-the-making', also at the insistence of nearly everyone at the community, you complied to perform at least one song on the function.

You sigh as you shrug on your jacket. Your parents and siblings are already there waiting for you. Pocketing your woolen beanie, you head towards the door of your modern house and step outside.

As soon as you close the door behind you, the cold December air hit you, making your eyes water and chills erupting all over your body despite your warm getup. A blanket of thick snow covering all over the surface.

December, you think wishfully as you start to make your way to the community park. So many sweet memories but one can find the sourness of some particular memories if they take their time to sort through them. But one thing you know for a fact, yours can be found very easily. Because they're fresh yet old. Laced with so much pain, heartbreak and an unforgettable end.

You shake your head, determined not to think about them. You need a calm mind to roll the lyrics around your lips. You don't need past memories to sour your mood lest you want to disappoint the audience.

Past, you scoffed inwardly. One year isn't past. Not when the time has barely passed for you. Yes, you still think about that December. It's as if you haven't moved past it yet. Your guilt and regret constantly pulls you towards that endless abyss.

Because you know that, it was your fault. He was the victim. He gave all his love, his precious heart. But you crushed all of it with your bare hands. Still, you could've apologized, but you didn't. You can't blame it entirely on less of opportunities. Because there was plenty. But being the coward you were, you didn't even make a move. And it kills you every single day, awaken and asleep.

He has probably moved on. But you couldn't. You can't. You're still looking forward to a chance. And if it never shows up, you are going to live an incomplete life. Is it worth living?

Finally reaching your destination, you let your gaze roam over the entire scene. Christmas lights all over the area. On the trees, benches, stalls, everywhere. Children running and playing around, gleeful in their own joy. Adults laughing, boisterous. Clapping each other on back, drinking.

There is a stage on the corner where musical instruments are kept. That's where you'll be singing. You can see an elderly couple sitting on a far bench. The man unwrapping his muffler from his neck and wrapping it around his wife's. You smile softly at the display inspite of yourself.

Taking a deep breath, you enter the joy ground. Closing all of your mindless thought at the back of your mind. Masking your expressing with a picture of complete enthusiasm. Why showing them what they'll never understand? You are content in suffering on your own, that's what you deserve.

❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️

December, Chris thinks as he drives his family car to where they're invited to a Christmas party today. December used to be his favourite time of the year. But now it only brings the pain and confusion he felt last December when the person he loved and cherished the most left him.

Yes, that is the word. LEFT him. But never bothered to tell him why. The answer to that why, he craves it just as much as the survivors of a desert craves water. Sometimes the crave suffocates him. Then he remembers the beautiful time they had passed. The blossoming love brimming both of their hearts.

Chris could feel himself lost in those beautiful eyes whenever he looked down in them. Could feel himself bewitched by that beautiful smile. So delicate, so lovely. He could feel himself floating by that beautiful twinkling laughter that never failed to put a fond smile on his face

He thought he could never hear his name so beautiful coming out of someone untill he heard the breathless ‘Chris’s falling from those sinful lips. Every kiss, every intimate moment they shared was precious to him. Because it felt so right.

Then what happened? When did it all go wrong? Did he do something that could jeopardize their relationship? Was his love not enough? Was he not enough? He could swear he felt the same amount of love pouring from that person. Then why the goodbye?

He wants the answers. But more than anything, he wants that person back in his life. Back in his arms. To give their love a second chance. But how? He doesn't know. All he ever knows is that their love was everything to him. He could never love anyone like that. Their love was it for him.

Reaching where they're invited, Chris parked the car along with the other ones on the parking spot and got out. They used to live here once. Therefore so many of their close friends are from this community and insisted them to be their guest on this party. Tucking his hands inside his pockets, he makes his way inside the park along with family, Scott, Lisa and two of his nephews.

People immediately spot them and greet them. Some of them already started to take pictures with him. As the night progresses, he found himself genuinely enjoy talking with old friends and just being himself.

After awhile, there is a slight commotion from the mic on the stage and one of the hosts clears his throat, grabbing everyone's attention. “Merry Christmas and a very good evening, ladies and gentlemen. It is so nice to have all of here today. Our celebration of Christmas Eve this year couldn't have been more perfect. I'd like to thank Mr. Chris Evans and his family for accepting our invitation and joining with us. Now, we also have someone here to make our evening even more brighter. A lot of you have guessed already, I know. They have the sweetest voice to enlighten all our mood. So please welcome on stage, (Y/N) (L/N)!!”

Chris's heart stops beating in his chest in time of a loud cheers erupting all over the audience. He completely froze. (Y/N)? His (Y/N)? Beside him, he can feel his mom and Scott stiffen. He doesn't know what to do. Laugh? Cry? He just stands there, eyes glued on the stage.

Then a figure starts to slowly approach from the backstage. Dressed in white t-shirt, dark jacket, dark jeans and boots. As the spotlight steadily falls on the figure, their beautiful face comes to view.

Chris felt as if his breath has been knocked out of his lungs. He can't move, feels like he's shaken to his very core. His (Y/N), the love of his life standing there on stage with a mic in his hand. Beautiful as ever.

One year, but your beauty still doesn't fail to leave him breathless. Lips parted in a small smile, delicate hands clutching the mic, wavy hair flailing about from the gentle breeze, you looked etherial to him. Your wide eyes searching the crowd. Those eyes, he thinks. He just wants to jump on the stage and take you in his arm, never let you go.

But he can't. It's like a wall has been built between you two. One word is echoing in his mind, 'why'. Why did you do what you did all those months ago? But at the same time he's scared to ask, scared to know even. He can't be vulnerable again, not before you. He has to be strong.

❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️

You saw him right the moment you step into the stage. How could you not. You loved this person too much to not spot him, even in this crowd of so many people. Okay, maybe that's too much. Any one could spot him anywhere, even from a mile afar. Because he is The Chris Evans. But for you, he was only Chris. Your Chris.

Your heart hasn't calm down since you've seen him. You feel as if it's going to burst out of your chest any time now. You're only able to maintain your composure because they're so many people watching you right now. Even if your eyes are slightly widened.

But, God does he look handsome. He always does. That muscular figure clad in black button-up, slacks, suit jacket and shoes. He has overgrown his beard, through which once you loved to run your fingers. The delicious coarseness you felt everytime it brushed against one of your body parts. Your neck, chin, inner thighs......you blush immediately at your train of thoughts.

But what you loved most about him, was his eyes. So blue, it pierces right through your soul. Eyes that are now averting yours. Shame and guilt bubbled up inside you at his action. He has his guards up. Why shouldn't he? After all you did to him.

He deserves someone better. Someone that'll love him, trust him just as much as he does. Not some coward. Maybe he has already found that person, maybe they're happy. He doesn't love you anymore, you think disgustedly. But you do owe him an apology. But you are not so eloquent with your words. Still there is something to help you today.

You look down on the mic in your hand and make your mind. Stealing one last glance at him, you nod at the host and the instrument players and make you way towards the front of the stage. Closing your eyes, you begin.....

💙🤍💙🤍💙🤍💙🤍💙🤍💙🤍💙🤍💙🤍

I'm so glad you made time to see me How's life, tell me how's your family I haven't seen them in a while

You open your eyes and look over in time to see Chris's mom giving you a small smile and Scott waving at you. You smile back and let your gaze flit over to where Chris is standing, eyes glued to you. You feel your cheeks heaten up.

Meanwhile Chris is transfixed by your voice. He can't believe how sweet you sound. You used to sing to him at night and he always encouraged you. He believed you could be a great singer one day, he just couldn't get you out of your shyness. And here you are today. Displaying your talent and making his heart feel full.

You've been good, busier than ever We small talk, work and the weather Your guard is up and I know why

You drop your gaze to the ground. Somehow ashamed to look at anyone. Chris looks away as the reality of the song slowly dawns on him.

Because the last time you saw me is still burned in the back of your mind You gave me roses and I left them there to die

Yes, Chris can remember that night. He came home from a 2 days shoot to see the bouquet of your favorite roses that he sent to you with a 'Merry early Christmas, love' card laying on the tea-table haphazardly. Almost rotten. Just beside the bouquet was a letter, you letter, saying this wasn't working for you anymore and you're leaving. He cried so much that night that he had a constant migraine the next day.

So this is me swallowing my pride Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night And I go back to December all the time

You and Chris make eye contact for the first time and Chris can see the plea and intent in them. Your beautiful eyes shining with unshed tears making his eyes water as well.

It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine

Chris was the best thing that had ever happened to you. No one ever loved you and cherished you like he did. His love was so selfless and you miss it. Miss all of it.

Chris can see the longing in your eyes. He misses you just as much you miss him. But he's too afraid to say it out loud.

I'd go back to December, turn around and make it alright I go back to December all the time

Yes you want to. God do you want to just go back in time and change all of it. If it means to have him back, you'd do anything.

Chris also wants nothing else than go back in time and keep you from leaving.

As the instruments plays in the background, you two stare at each other and just wonder what went wrong. You know what went wrong. But you don't know at the same time. It frustrates you so much you can't even explain.

These days I haven't been sleeping staying up playing back myself leaving When your birthday passed and I didn't call

On every birthday of Chris during your time together, you were the first one to call him and wish him Happy Birthday when he was away. Even after your breakup, you desperately wanted to call him just as always. But you couldn't find it yourself to get to dial his number. Couldn't find a reason.

Chris remembers his birthday this year. The first thing he did after waking up was checking his phone. It was as if on instinct. Like he was waiting for your call or message. But he couldn't find any. Among so many well wishers, there wasn't you. And it crushed his heart even more. You could at least give him a text. But you didn't.

Then I think about summer, all the beautiful times I watched you laughing from the passenger side And realized I loved you in the fall

“You know we could be lounging in our pool right now?” You huffed and glared at Chris from the passenger seat. Chris, with his one hand on the steering wheel and the other petting dodger's head, gave you a broad grin, “But baby, this is much more fun” he countered. You rolled you eyes and made a face, “What? Fishing in this summer heat? I swear Chris, if I get a sunburn on anywhere on my body, I'm not letting you touch me for the entire week.” You crossed you arms over your chest and stared ahead. Chris only laughed and pulled you in a kiss. You couldn't help but smile into the kiss.

The memory brings a soft smile in your face as you sing the lyrics. From few feet away, Chris also smiled at the same memory. Both of you felt the love and it went even more deeper when you walked hand in hand on the evenings of fall.

And then the cold came, the dark days when fear crept into my mind you gave me all your love and all I gave you was goodbye

Fear. It was fear that made you do all the things you did to him. You feared your love wouldn't stay the same. You feared it'd inevitably end in heartbreak. You feared Chris was too good to be true. But at the same time, you knew you were being unreasonable. The fear of losing him was so great that you started backing up from the relationship. Leaving him entirely clueless as to why you felt like that.

Chris notes the slight quiver in your voice. And suddenly, something clicks inside him. With a frown on his face, he remembers how you to started detach yourself from him in the prior months to your breakup. You started to withdraw yourself more and more. And whenever he looked into your eyes, he saw something imperceptible. What was it? Was it fear? Fear of what? He never bothered to ask you and now he feels the regret come crashing down on him.

Coming back to present, he looks over at you. But you are looking at anywhere but him. Like you're ashamed. Like you revealed something really personal.

So this is me swallowing my pride standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night And I go back to December all the time

You wish he'd know how sorry you are. You want to scream at the top of your lungs, beg for forgiveness. You can't stay alive knowing you brought a pain so vicious. Reminder of it will eat you every day.

it turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine I'd go back to December, turn around and change my own mind I go back to December all the time

You just want to go back and change all the things that went wrong. Change your mind about leaving him. But you can't change the past, even if you wanted so desperately. Life isn't some science-fiction. You nearly laughed at the irony of your song and reality.

I miss your tan skin, your sweet smile so good to me, so right

You sing the lyrics with a slight head tilt and sad smile on your face all the while looking at him. Your eyes are misty but you don't seem to care.

Chris can see the open longing in your eyes. And he realizes for the first time that you still love him. You still love him to miss him like that. He can't breath and just stares at you, studies you.

And how you held me in your arms that September night the first time you ever saw me cry

Chris has always been a constant source of comfort to you. Whenever you felt sad or felt like crying, he'd wrap his strong arms around you and hold you tightly. He would shush you gently and kiss your forehead. He was someone that you could easily confide in and take refuge in his strength. So warm and so right.

Maybe this is wishful thinking probably mindless dreaming But if we loved again I swear I'd love you right

Chris feels dizzy. Because it's not your wishful thinking nor some mindless dreaming. He wants that too. So desperately. And he doesn't have to look in your eyes to see that you mean it.

But then, just as quickly, your expression changes. Morphs into something more difficult to understand. He watches you blink several times and look down before continuing.....

I'd go back in time and change it, but I can't so if the chain is on your door, I understand

You don't want to lift your expectations too high. Why should he open the doors to his heart once more for you? You don't deserve it.

Chris watches the hard acceptance on your features. He wants rush to you and show you that he is still yours. He hasn't moved on. But he stays glued to the ground. Why everything has to be so hard for both of you?

But this is me swallowing my pride standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night And I go back to December It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine I'd go back to December, turn around and make it alright I'd go back to December turn around and change my own mind I go back to December all the time

You feel so exhausted at once. More than you felt for a long time. You just want this to end, want your sufferings to end. You can't keep fighting anymore.

All the time

With the song concluding it's final note, Chris watches as a silent tear slide down your cheek, making his heart shatter into million pieces. He hates your tears. Especially when he can do nothing about it.

You slowly open your eyes and let your gaze roam over the silent crowd. A flush of embarrassment creeps up your cheeks as the reality dawns on you. But it doesn't matter anymore. You have done what you wanted to do. Now you just want to get out of here. Away from here.

Scrambling, you excuse yourself from the audience and rush out of the scene, wiping your tears, not looking at anyone. You're angry at yourself for showing this much vulnerability in front of everyone, especially him. He must be thinking what a fool you are. Must be laughing at you right now.

Chris watches with dread as you leave hastily. No, this is his chance, to make everything right between you. Your fate brought you together this day. Exactly one year after that nightmare. Destiny has given you both a chance and he can't lose it, even if his life is dependend on it.

He feels a hand on his shoulder. Turning around he sees his mom and Scott nodding at him. Go, they want to say. Go get him.

Wasting no more time, Chris runs after you. Determined to not to let you go this time.

Walking has never felt like a chore before. Your legs feel like they'll give out at any time. You feel your phone vibrating in your pocket. Sniffing, you reach out to pull out your phone. It's your dad. Probably calling to check in on you, seeing how you left. But you don't want to talk to any one right now. You want to be alone. Shutting off your phone, you put it inside your pocket and resume walking.

Suddenly you feel a strong grip around your wrist, tugging you back. You yelp and bump against what must've been a brick wall. But it's someone's chest. Someone you're so strongly familiar with, someone you're connected to the heart.

“Running away from me again?” that deep baritone voice, making you look up into the owners piercing blue eyes.

“Chris” you whisper, making his heart set ablaze. He clutches your hands close to his chest. You two are standing so close that you can feel his body heat wafting off of him. It's taking all of your willpower not to snuggle close. Chase that warmth.

Chris can't stop looking into your eyes. It still feels so surreal to have you close to him again. You feel perfect tucked against him. Like you two are two puzzles fitting around all edges. And he knows then and there, that he'll have you again. Make you his again.

But then you gently push him away, making unwanted distance between you. Looking away, you ask him, “What're you doing here?” “I'm here to get back what's mine” he replies, looking at you intently.

You shake your head, not understanding, “Why?” you ask. Your eyes going watery again and you hate yourself for it. Hate yourself for even seeing the beacon of hope.

Chris gently takes you by the shoulder and looks deeply into your eyes, “Because I love you” he whispers. And you can see the truth behind his words. There is no hesitation behind it. No cruel joke. But still you're confused. Why would he love you after....

“But I hurt you” you said, not looking at him. Waiting to be laughed in the face. But it never comes. Instead, you feel his callaused, rough palm on your cheek, turning your face towards him. “Yes, you did.” he said making you feel worse than you ever felt now that you heard it from him.

Then he took your hand in his and gently put it over his chest where his heart is steadily beating. “But the hurt wasn't greater than what I felt in here. And do you know what that is?” he asks. You can only stare dumbly at him, too shoked to say anything.

“Your love”, he declares. And he says it so reverently that you feel your legs slowly giving out. Is it truly happening? Or is it some cruel game of fate? You are completely dumbstruck. You feel like you're going to break into tears any time. You are beyond ecstatic.

Finally, not being able to hold back anymore, you reach up and crash your lips onto his. Chris returns the kiss just as eagerly. He snakes his strong arms around your waist and pulls you even more closer. You get on your tiptoes and wrap your arms around his neck to fully submit into the kiss.

The kiss is feverish. Laced with the pain of a year of longing. You both kiss like it's the end of time and you're never going to get the chance again. Chris licks your bottom lip, asking for access. You comply happily and let him deepen the kiss.

So what if the pain is still fresh? What if things are yet to gain semblance? You both simply don't care as long as you have each other. You'll work on your faults and make your relationship better. You'll grow to love and trust each other once again. This is a promise of giving your everything to the other person. Destiny has brought you together in this moment to simply give each the love you preserved in your hearts.

As you break the kiss and stare deeply into his eyes, you know that you'll give your everything to make this work. You'll love him as long as he'll allow you to and looking at him you know that he's not leaving you anytime soon.

With a sigh you bury yourself in his warm embrace as the snow starts to fall around you like a blessing from the sky itself.

“I love you, Chris”

“I love you too, baby”

[holylulusworld]

Nrfth (1) - Dreams do come true

Summary: A dream shattered. A heart broken.

Pairing: Chris Evans x Actress!Reader

Characters: OC Tracey

Warnings: fangirling, nervous reader, language

A/N: This series is a “short” chapter story. It contains of a collection of drabbles.

>> Prologue

“You’ve got this babe. Go in there, show them what they are sign up for if they hire you, and blow their minds,” Tracey is as excited as you are. “I knew you are going to film movies with Chris Evans one day.”

“Trace, it’s only thanks to you and Noah. He’s…a genius. I looked like a movie star in his movie. I’ll be forever grateful for the chance I got because of you two.”

“Babe, invite me to one red-carpet event, call me your favorite bitch when they ask you who I am, and we are even,” she snickers. 

“Fuck, I’m so nervous,” you chew on your lower lip. “What if I fuck this up? This could be the only chance to land a role in the Marvel universe. If I fail now, everyone will remember.”

“I’ll tell you this only once,” Tracy says. She cups your face and forces you to breathe with her. “You are beautiful, strong, talented, and the biggest bitch in the Marvel universe. You can kick ass.”

“I can’t kick ass during the casting,” you laugh at Tracey’s determined look. She believes in you like no one else. “But I’ll give my all to land the role. And, if I walk over the red carpet for the first time, you’ll be by my side.”

The door finally opens again. Another disappointed-looking girl steps outside, sighing deeply. She’s prettier than you, and you remember her face from a show you watched a few weeks ago. If she didn’t land the role. How shall you get it?

“Next,” the annoyed voice of the woman hosting the audition catches your attention. You tear your eyes away from the girl leaving without the role and focus on your chance. 

“That’s me,” you confidentially say. This is it. Your chance to land a role. 

If you do this right, you can film next to Chris Evans. Or at least be on the same set. Your agent said it’s possible that you never even meet Chris. 

It doesn’t matter, though. Even if it’s a small role, you can say you made it. “Hi. I’m Y/N Y/L/N. You called my agent and—”

She raises her hand to stop you from talking too much. “Follow me. This way.”

She guides you toward a different room. You sigh. Maybe you don’t even get the chance to show them that you are a great actress.

“I-I thought you wanted me to come here.”

You follow her along the hallways, sighing as she won’t talk to you. “Go in there and read the lines we sent to your agent.” She finally says. The woman looks you up and down and gives you a half-smile. “Don’t freak out, okay? He’s only an actor.”

Holy fuck…no…really…holy fuck. Your breath hitches in your throat when you enter the room as Chris Evans stands there, holding the script in his hands.

“Ms. Y/L/N, welcome to the audition. You got the script we hope,” another woman asks.

“Yeah. Uh—thank you for giving me this chance. I got the script and practiced the lines,” you say.

Taking a deep breath, you open your bag to get the script out.  

“Alright, can you read the first lines? Just to get into the scene?” the woman from earlier asks. She gives you a quick smile, knowing that you must be nervous around the star of the Marvel universe.

“Sure,” you hastily say. “I’ll enter the room, check the surroundings, and get my gun out,” you recite the entrance scene of your character. “Things get heated, I’m surrounded by Hydra agents, and then…a bullet hits me. The agents storm toward me right when…”

“I break through the wall,” Chris uses his captain voice. He strides towards you, looking you straight in the eyes. “Miss? Miss, are you alright?”

It’s Captain America looking at you, not the actor behind him.

“Captain America?” you fall into the roll. You pant and clutch your lower abdomen. “I got shot,” you fall to your knees, just like described in the script. “My partner…I need to find him, Captain.”

“You got hurt.” 

“I can do this…” you whisper, faking losing consciousness. “Please, Captain. Don’t let them get him.”

That’s the end of the script for you. You want to end the scene and get back up. But Chris drops the script in his hands to pick up in bridal style.

It’s a struggle to not squeal, swoon, or drool when he carries you toward the couch in the room. He’s still in his role when he looks at you in his arms.

“I’ve got you,” he ends the scene with his line, and you are sure your heart stops beating for a moment when he leans closer to whisper. “I can do this all day…”

“HOLY FUCK BABE!” Tracey raises her glass at you. “You are going to be a famous movie star and bang Chris Evans.”

“Babe, I won’t bang anyone. And my role is still small. I don’t even know if my character will survive the first episode,” you try to make her see, this role can mean your breakthrough or just a few bucks on your bank account. “You know how it is. The sidekick always ends up dead…”

>> Part 2

Tags in reblog.

[earth616variant]

the send-off | s.r ; 4

summary | Being his best friend and assistant, Howard Stark asked you to be the first one to be tested on his time machine project. After some unexpected errors, you ended up stuck in the modern times of the 21st century. Where you meet the man you thought died years ago: Steve Rogers.

pairing/s | steve rogers x reader, avengers x reader

word count | 5k+

genres | angst, fluff, crack, time travel au, unrequited love au

warnings | mention of blood, idiots…

note | after months, here's a new update! finally found the inspiration to write again :)) I apologize for the long delay. anyway, let me know your thoughts on this one. enjoy reading!

series masterlist

 “Ugh… What to do? What to do?” you hummed.

It’s been days since your arrival in this era. And so far, everything is fine. Confusing but fine. You were still having nightmares that always woke you up. But you didn’t bother to tell anyone about it. It’s probably a normal reaction.

Since the superheroes in the compound have alternative schedules for their missions, you found yourself rubbing shoulders with whoever Avenger is in the compound. It’s obvious that they don’t want you to feel excluded and made it clear that they don’t mind you asking questions if you find something puzzling. 

You usually bond with the youngest one, Peter Parker, who is always around since he is, based on what he said, “a friendly neighborhood superhero”. It means that he doesn’t go out of the country, like Natasha or Steve, or even this state for a mission since he still has classes to attend and he explains that his aunt won’t let him go anywhere far and dangerous. Understandable, you thought. The kid is only sixteen. But for now, Peter is staying back with his aunt in their apartment while the others are on their missions. He has a schedule for staying between the compound and his aunt’s place. 

Clint is with his family, who you heard lived in this secret farmhouse. Tony is probably home too. You don’t really know. You kind of feel that he avoids being alone with you. Wanda is resting in her room. You don’t want to disturb her as you saw her coming home earlier, looking really exhausted. 

When he can, Steve also kept you company. Of course, you enjoyed talking to him about his life after the whole defrosting thing. But sometimes, you felt like a disturbance or a burden in his free time. You thought, maybe he just wants to rest. Perhaps he just feels bad for you. So, you try to not stay around him all the time if he’s home.

So, you really have nothing to do. You have books but you don’t feel like reading now. You have this novel that you liked so much, you just finished it today. The compound also has this large, flat television but you don’t feel like watching anything either. It’s not like you’re not used to being alone. You’re always alone before! But at least you have a job to take up all your time. With all this free time, you cannot help but miss doing something in the laboratory. Computing numbers or testing prototypes with Howard. You wondered if your best friend ever finished that flying car he kept on re-working. You figured, maybe not. You see that people in this modern time still use four-wheeled cars.

“Oh, hey, Doctor Y/N.”

Sometime in the afternoon, Bruce Banner went out to the kitchen to get himself something to drink. That is where he sees you, looking all bored and spacing out. You forced a smile at him and greeted him back,

“Hello, Doctor Banner.”

“Bruce. You can call me Bruce.” he smiled as he opened a can of rootbeer.

“Then, you can call me just by my name too,” you replied, tapping on the hardbound book you had with you. You tried not to be obvious as you examined his look. With his eyeglasses and white coat, you know he’s been working in his laboratory. 

After taking a sip from his drink, he spoke, “What are you up to in here, Y/N?”

Hearing that question, you instantly sighed heavily, making your shoulder slump, “Nothing really. I’ve been watching the paint dry, Bruce.”

Thankfully, the scientist caught on to your use of words. He chuckled before asking you, “Do you want to go to the lab?”

You swore you jumped from where you were sitting when Bruce said that. He took it as a yes and you two walked together back to his laboratory. Instantly, you were in awe of the place. There are screens and machinery everywhere. You don’t understand how these new gadgets work but you cannot wait to hear about them. This is like something you dreamed of.

“Here.”

Bruce handed you a white lab coat and you immediately grabbed it, wearing it excitedly. Damn, you missed wearing it. You stood next to him in front of his messy desk, which is pretty normal. Notes were everywhere. Even pens and crumpled papers. You’re starting to miss your own messy work table.

“Oh, I’m sorry about that,” Bruce spoke, referencing his desk.

You smiled, “It’s fine. It means you’re really working hard for something.”

Slipping your hands into the coat’s pockets, you wander around the spacious lab. You try to stop yourself from touching anything, fearing that you might mess something up. So like a little kid, your eyes just show your enthusiasm as you watch some type of liquid flow into a transparent tube.

“What are you working on?” you asked, turning your head to Bruce.

“Something that can help the world, hopefully.” he chuckled. He walked next to you, “It’s a serum that may help cancer patients.”

“That’s nice,” you whispered, eyes still distracted.

“Yeah. But it’s still an experiment. This is the first time I’m working on something like this again after I tried to recreate the super soldier serum.”

Your eyebrows raised as you looked at him, “You tried to recreate that serum?!”

Steve did not tell you about that. No one told you that someone in the compound tried to recreate it. You always wondered what Dr. Ernskine did to that serum since it seems very impossible to reproduce. But now that you’re in this modern era, people have more resources and findings. Maybe Bruce succeed.

Bruce stared back at you with a small smile, “It’s what brought me here, Y/N.”

“Cap. You okay?” 

Tony asked as soon as he made sure the auto-pilot was set on the plane. Instead of answering, Steve grunts while pressing a hand on the right side of his stomach. Blood was gushing out from the stab wound he got from this mission. Bucky, on the other hand, also earned bruises on his face and small cuts on his arm. The two admittedly underestimated this mission. They didn’t expect that a hundred members will show up in this cult-like mob they raided. Thankfully, Tony was able to answer an emergency call.

“Those guys really got you cornered. Whoever stabbed you would probably brag about the fact he got to stab Captain America. Too bad he died.” Tony quipped, trying to lighten the mood. He signaled to Bucky to pass him a bandage.

Steve listened with exhaustion running in his veins. He breathed out as he closed his eyes, leaning his head on the surface behind him.

“You know, you got to be more careful now…” Tony suddenly spoke, sounding a bit serious. Steve opened his eyes and look at his friend who was focused on cleaning his wound. It took minutes of silence– since Tony made sure that his wound won’t get infected– before he continued,  “You have a girlfriend waiting at home.”

“She’s not my girlfriend, Tony,” Steve replied sternly.

His best friend still managed to chuckle at that. Steve groaned when Tony slightly applied pressure to his wound. Not that Steve doesn’t like the idea of you as his romantic partner, he just doesn’t want to tolerate this kind of teasing from his friends. They might get used to it and make you uncomfortable whenever you’re with him.

Tony rolled his eyes, “Okay, whatever. But my point is you are Y/N’s closest friend in the compound right now and I don’t think she will like seeing you come back like this. I mean, you already died before and Dad told me a lot of things that happened.”

Steve tilted his head quizzically. He looked at Bucky who shared the same expression on his face.

“What–”

“There.” Tony got up as if he didn’t just say something. He pointed at Bucky. “And you too, buddy. Bring more backup next time. Something worse could have happened. You’re lucky I’m just another country away for a presentation.”

He walked back to his seat as the pilot, ignoring the confusion and curiosity from the two a-decade-old super soldiers.

“That was your last memory?”

Bruce sat in front of you, typing on his laptop as you nodded an answer. A couple of hours after inviting you, you two ended up just chatting in his laboratory. Bruce told you about the time he recreated the supersoldier serum. You learned his history and how he joined this league of superhumans. He was open to sharing his struggle in accepting his power and learning to control himself from being Bruce and the Hulk.

After that, he ended up giving you a tour of his laboratory. You would share how a gadget you had before evolved into what he has now in these modern times. Your curiosity about these said gadgets made his offer to teach you whenever he can and you happily agreed. Although you’re still unsure if you’re staying here for the rest of your life, you think that it will be good to adapt in the meantime.

“The time machine…” your voice trailed off as you brought up the topic. “How did you and Tony make it?”

You’ve been wanting to ask someone about their version of a time machine here. But since Howard’s son was a bit distant, you get to talk about it with Bruce now.

Bruce shakes his head, “It was unsuccessful.”

“It brought me here.” you countered, pursing your lips.

The air around you two was suddenly all serious and Bruce feels it. You were just wondering how they built their time machine. How did they make it work? It was seemingly more successful than Howard’s. Was it because of the current and upgraded technologies? Did they use different formulas than Howard? Did they make their own original version that was way different than what you and your best friend worked on in the past?

 

Bruce looked at you for seconds like he was contemplating if he should tell you. Then, he exhaled, removing his glasses.

“Tony brought the blueprint and basically the whole plan for it months ago. He said he found it when he was digging up in his dad’s office in their old house.”

“Wait.” your eyebrows scrunched together as you paused. You take your time processing his answer. You made sure you understood it by saying, “So… it was originally Howard’s… The blueprint for it?”

He nods, “Yes, Tony found it along with other plans his dad never worked on. We just used other materials than the outdated ones...”

You didn’t really listen to the rest of his words when you heard the first sentence. Your eyes stared at some space. Never worked on? He means, Howard made this plan and never worked on it? Does it mean that if your best friend just worked it, you could have been back earlier than this era? Your hand slowly pressed a hand on your chest and you felt your heartbeat getting quicker Bruce quickly noticed it and you looked up at him with your eyes screaming in confusion and surprise, hurt.

“When did Howard plan it?” you asked. Your voice was weak and you almost said it in a whisper.

Although confused, Bruce replied, “1977. It was written on the bottom of the blueprint.”

Your brain was quick in computing it. It was thirty years after your disappearance. You feel like shaking as you blinked away the tears that were blurring your sight.

“W-Where can I find this blueprint? I want to see it.”

The change in your tone and expression made Bruce ask, “Y/N, are you okay–”

“Where?” you asked again instead of answering.

“Uh, Tony has it.”

You ran your palms all over your face, calming yourself down. You breathe out. You knew you had to stop yourself from crying as you cannot stand doing it again.  It’s pointless. You’ve been tearing up ever since you came here and you have never been this vulnerable. You don’t like it. Before Bruce can repeat a word, you sighed heavily.

“I’m sorry,” you said, shaking your head. “I… I was just surprised Howard planned on building another time machine and never made a move on it.”

Bruce hummed quietly and replied, “It’s fine… Everything must have been a lot to you.”

You chuckled, trying to lighten up the atmosphere, “Yeah, it’s a real bummer and I think it makes me blow a fuse really easily. I swear I was never this emotional.”

If he did it, would I have come back earlier?

The question floats in your head as you set your eyes on the quiet lake just outside the compound. You pulled your knees closer to your chest and rested your chin on your knees. The sky was already dimming down as the sun already set. Nature was quiet and the only loud thing was your brain with all these questions you were asking yourself.

There was a part of you who wished you shouldn’t have just asked Bruce. Maybe you wouldn’t feel this way. But you were always curious about things, so you asked. And here you are, having this moment. As if knowing about Howard’s plans is not enough, you still had thoughts if you can ask Tony about it. You let out an exasperated, hopeless exhale. Maybe not.

“Dr. Y/N!”

You snapped out of your deep thoughts when you heard your name. Turning your head to your side, you spotted Peter approaching with a smile on his face. He waved his hand, and your lips form a small smile.

“Hey… I thought you were staying with your aunt tonight?”

He sat beside you on the green grass, “I’m just staying here until nine. Then, I’ll go back home. I dropped by to see if you’re baking tonight.”

You giggled, “Well, today’s not your lucky day, kid. But I think we still have a few brownies in the jar from the other day.”

“I checked. It’s already empty.” he feigned disappointment, holding his chest, and you two chuckled. “How was your day here, doc?”

“Boring. I haven’t really done much. Bruce saw me in the kitchen earlier and invited me to his lab. I just miss doing something again.“ you confessed with a hint of frustration in your tone. “How about you, kid?”

He shrugged his shoulders, “Eh, just school. I and my friend Ned ended up in detention because he cannot stop talking about this new movie during chemistry class. Then, our other friend, MJ joined us since she said she enjoys going to detention. We planned to eat something after but MJ has a part-time job to go to.” Peter shared and you feel that he was pretty satisfied with how his day went.

“Well, at least one of us got to bond with their friends,” you scoffed. “I have to get used to my friends being superheroes.”

“They are usually busy, aren’t they?”

You nod, “Yeah. It actually made me feel jobless.”

You two laughed at that. You resumed, “I can’t believe I finished two books in a short period– Speaking of books, I was wondering if you could lend me a hand.”

“For what?”

“Oh, you know that novel I’ve been reading these past few days?”

“Ah, the one with the whole time machine plot too?”

“Yes. I… I really loved the book. Is there any way I can reach out to the author? Maybe write them a letter? I just really want to let them know that it’s a good story.”

Maybe it’s because of a lot of free time on your hand. But you just really adored the plot and the novel itself. You found it in the new releases section of the bookstore you went to days ago. But the story was set around your time, in the 40s, and mainly revolved around time traveling, which initially pulled you into buying it. It was accurate by the era it was in, and it made you feel closer to where you came from. Now, you just finished it and it was beautiful even though it was left on a cliffhanger. It causes you something to look forward to.  

“We can try to reach out. Maybe they have e-mail. It’s faster than sending them written letters.” Peter suggests.

You cocked an eyebrow, “What’s an email?”

“Oh, it’s electronic mail. It’s like the modern type of exchanging letters with other people. Instead of asking for the person’s home address, they can just give you their email address. Then, you can send them a message with the computer or cellphone.” he explains and you nod.

“How about your laptop?”

He nods, “Yeah, we can also use that.”

You two ended up walking back to the compound. Peter helped you with creating your own e-mail address and typing your message to the author. You wanted to learn and get used to with using this gadget so you offered to type yourself. He was patient enough to teach you with the keys on the keyboard as you type. 

“So, it automatically saves itself as a draft?”

You moved the cursor on the screen as you glided your index finger on the touchpad of his laptop. It wasn’t a long message but it was genuine. You re-read the whole thing again before passing the laptop to Peter.

“Yeah, what’s the name of the author again?” the boy asked before opening a new tab in the browser.

“Oh, wait…” you reached for the book and read the huge, bold name written on the front cover. “It’s… Donald S. Burton.”

“Okay, we can look for his website. Maybe he has his contacts there.”

His voice trailed off when he began typing on the search bar. It never fails to amaze you how fast this thing can give you answers. It’s like all of the books in the library were compiled into this gadget. Peter input the name and a list of information about Donald S. Burton showed up. There were even images of the man. You cannot help but smile when the old guy reminds you of someone familiar.

“Here is his email!“

“I like these. What are these again?” 

Steve smiled at your curiosity, “Chicken nuggets.”

“Okay. Chicken nuggets,” you repeated. “I wished we had these in our time. I love these and these sauces. And of course, this sundae!” you exclaimed before taking a scoop with the tiny spoon.

Just a couple of days after you talked with Bruce in the lab and sent an e-mail with Peter’s help, you found yourself having a picnic with Steve just around the city. It was a quiet park in the busy city. It was a Tuesday so there were fewer people in the place. He invited you with it after he got home from his mission.

“Should I bake or make something?” you asked him.

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to. We’ll be ordering food on the way to the park,” he replied.

“Are the others coming too?” you asked again.

He shook his head, “I… didn’t ask them.”

“Why didn’t you ask them?” you raised an eyebrow. 

Steve seemed to be caught off guard. Bucky, Sam, Natasha, and Peter, who were also in the living room when you asked, smirked and looked at each other knowingly when they saw their leader’s frozen reaction. He stood there awkwardly with his hands on his hips. Natasha was the first to break the silence.

“I’ll be training,” she said.

The others caught on to it and spew their reasons too. Peter chimed in, “I have a ton of homework to do, Doc.”

“I’m visiting my sister in Louisiana,” Sam explained with a scoff. That made you squint your eyes at him. Then you looked at Bucky, waiting for his reason. He seemed frozen like the gears in his head is turning.

“I… uhm… I’m…”

“He’ll help me with training.” Nat saved him. “We’ll do some planning with the next mission.”

So that’s how you and Steve ended up alone on this picnic, which you don’t mind. You had a fun ride going here. He lets you play songs by connecting your rarely-used phone to the car’s stereo.

“How did you learn about that song?” he asked when American Pie played.

You smiled, “Natasha. I heard it from her.”

You ordered food from a fast food chain through a drive-thru. It was exciting as Steve ordered meals you didn’t try before. When you arrived at the peaceful park, you insist on helping him with bringing stuff. He just made you bring the blanket while he carries all the other things. When you found a perfect spot, you laid the gingham blanket on the green grass. You sat comfortably in your casual floral dress before you two began eating.

“Thank you for this, Steve.” you smiled.

“You’re welcome. Thank you for coming with me. I haven’t been on a picnic with someone for a while.” he said.

“You know, before I got in the time machine, I went picnic with my neighbors.” you shared, remembering that day with the Smiths.

“Mr. and Mrs. Jones?!” he asked with surprise.

Your ears perked when you heard that. The Jones were your neighbors before the Smiths. They are the last ones Steve knew since he and Bucky would sometimes fetch you if you were hanging out somewhere. The said couple was a bit grumpy, to be honest. They can hear even the smallest noise you would make in your apartment and would always let you know they don’t like it. 

“Oh, no. They moved out months after you disappeared. Another family occupied their space. Susan and Robert Smith. They have this little kid named Donny. They are much nicer.” you joked.

“Well, that’s nice. I missed a lot of things while on ice.” 

“It was only two years, Steve. Nothing much happened.” you snorted, finishing your sundae.

“A lot of things can happen. I know Howard found the Tesseract while searching for me on the ice… Share some things that happened in those two years.” 

“Okay…” you exhaled. “I bet you already know that they tried making a series after Captain America vanished. You became an icon. Have you seen it?”

You laughed when you saw Steve hissed, “I didn’t like it.”

“Yeah, it was bad.” you cracked up. You only watched that once. You don’t like how they painted Peggy into a character named Betty who was always a damsel in distress. Peggy had complained about it too.

“Anyway, we– Howard and I– tried for like a year to search for you. But he would usually be the one to go on sites and I would always try to come with him. He needs more convincing but it always works.”

Howard often says that going in the field can be dangerous and you would fight back over and over again. You were glad you did because you were with them when they found the Tesseract.

“What convincing did you do?”

“Well, I would say that I’m his assistant. My job is technically following him around. Then when he says no, I’ll say that I am his best friend. I still do have my last reason if he denies me of coming with him.” you said.

“And what is it?”

You paused and just stared at him. Chewing on your bottom lip, you hmmed. It was like you were thinking if you should tell him the last reason for Howard to let you go with him. Steve waits. He tried to be comfortable as he leaned back with his arms resting behind him. He hoped he doesn’t look much curious or nosy. After what felt like an eternity, you spoke.

“It’s… It’s that I am the last one you spoke to while you were on that plane.” 

You looked away from him, avoiding his gaze. You tried to just look at the trees and people from the distance than just look at Steve. Your chest felt heavier when you remembered that time Steve fought that skull and had control of that plane. Steve didn’t say a word so you continued to explain more, just to get it off your chest.

“It would always work since he fully knows that I have guilt living in my system after the country lost you.” you chuckled bitterly. “I felt awfully bad that I cannot do anything to help you during that situation.”

When your voice shook uncontrollably in the last words of your sentence, Steve sat back up and you can see the sympathy in his blue eyes. He reached out for your resting hand, instantly caging it in his warm hands.

“Y/N… none of it was your fault. It was already a dead-end situation. I was the one who chose to crash it.” he tried to reassure you.

“I know, I know,” you mumbled, tears slipping from your eyes. “But I cannot stand losing another person in my life that time, Steve.”

Your tearful eyes met his concerned ones. “We just lost Barnes earlier that year. And I really just can’t lose you… I tried to think of something. Howard was in the same room while I was talking to you on the phone. We tried to make a plan but we don’t have any idea where the hell the plane was and it was moving really fast. It was really bad. I felt helpless. I thought I might have been able to do something to help you but we have no time. I hate that all I can do is talk to you on the phone, hoping that you won’t feel alone, while I prayed silently for some miracle to happen. And it was crazy because  I don’t even remember the last time I prayed before that moment.”

By the time you finished talking, you were full-on sobbing. Your chest heaved and your cheeks were damp from your salty tears. Steve held your hand. His thumb drew circles on it as he lets you cry for more. And when he felt you calming down, he uttered:

“Staying in that call with me until the end was enough for me. I appreciate you for handling yourself very well and being calm with me that time. You are amazing. And you don’t know how relieved I am when I knew you were the one who answered the call. Thank you.” Steve said softly, offering a small smile as he looked directly into your eyes. “You already did much more you know for me that time.”

2/19/1945

Y/N arrived with puffy eyes today. I knew it before she even removed the black sunglasses she had on. I already told her the day before that she have the choice of not going to the laboratory today. But she still did. It was quiet the whole day in the lab. We both tried to act busy like nothing much happened. Due to the events of these past two weeks, I’ve been getting telephone calls from a lot of people. I chose to ignore them because I know it has something to do with Rogers’ disappearance and I’d been hearing they want to make the serum like Ernskine’s. I honestly think that it would be hard to “remake” Captain America ever again. She didn’t eat anything for the whole day even a cup of coffee. I insisted on walking her home, saying I have to borrow her old research about the future of computers. She said she’ll just bring it tomorrow but I said I need it urgently even though I really don’t. In fact, I have nothing to do with her research. I just had to make sure she’ll get home safe. I thought it was a good idea to just walk with her instead of asking Jarvis to drive us. But boy, I was wrong. The loss of the nation’s superhero is plastered all over the place. I tried distracting Y/N by telling her about the funny encounter I had with a girl months ago. I never told her about it before because I know she doesn’t like that I cannot commit to a single girl. But I have no more story to tell at the moment. It was a relief that she let out small laughs and smile at it. Although the smiles didn’t reach her eyes, I hope she felt better for a bit. She was about to say some advice or something when she suddenly froze. Her lips formed into a frown and I see tears forming in her eyes. I follow where her eyes lay and it was the newspapers. WE NEED A NEW CAPTAIN. The headline was printed in big, bold letters. Eye-catching. “They cannot just replace Steve like that.” It was a whisper from her. I hate that all I can do is sigh. Two minutes later, we reached her apartment. She handed me her research and thanked me. She smiled. But it was forced, I know.

As I am writing this letter, I am thinking of leaving this city with Y/N for a vacation somewhere away from here. I don’t know if she will like that. Maybe she won’t. Maybe I’ll just settle on walking her home with another made-up reason from the back of my head. I don’t know. I just feel helpless seeing her like this again after Barnes’ and now, Rogers’ death. Even so, I’ll always make sure that she will be alright.

H.S. 

Tony removed his eyeglasses as he finished reading. His index finger traces the handwritten words by his father, sighing in the process. He can hear his father’s voice with each word in it. 

“Tony, we need to go. We should fly at six!” Pepper’s voice cuts off his thoughts.

He stretched his limbs before replying, “Okay, honey. Just getting my glasses.” 

Tony stared at the page again for a second before closing his father’s journal. He slid it onto one of the drawers on his nightstand and left.

THE SEND-OFF TAGLIST

@supraveng @sunflower-golden-vol6 @curi0usc4t @caitlyn-who @bitchy-bi-trash @stilltoomuchafangirl @matisse556 @ladybug05 @sunwoahkim @meanttobea @j69confessional2 @thenyxsky @swthxrry @justab-eautifulmess @7minutes-tomidnight @curlycarley @thefalconandthewinterwidowshield @wisepenguin @shatfairy @coffeeshub @stillthatbetch @cosmicgirls-things @mediocre-m @learning-howto-be-myselfx3 @mrsjaderogers @themerc-with-a-mouth @slutdreams @royalwritersoftheuniverses @yunloyal @avengersinitiative2012 @mariaelizabeth21-blog1 @madnessinwrighting @lilizia @saintmagx @saranghaey @elmphoenix17 @animegirlgeeky @t-stark35 @ameliabs-world @seijaelee @sully-stick-together @capswife @katdahlali @avengersgirllorianna

PERMANENT TAGLIST

@rosedpetal

[sergeantbarnessdoll]

Welcome to my Christmas master list! My Christmas master list will contain Fluff and maybe Angst. NO SMUT IS GOING TO BE IN THIS!! I’m extending my Christmas master list till the end of this month for more Christmas fun! I hope y’all enjoy what I post for the month of December!❤️💚

Also, I apologize for posting this a day late.

Week of December 1st-7th: Bucky Barnes/Winter Soldier🩷

Week of December 8th-14th: Steve Rogers/Captain America🩷 Bucky Barnes/Winter Soldier🩷

Week of December 15th-21st: TJ Hammond🩷 Frank (Endings Beginnings)🩷 Chris Beck🩷

Week of December 22nd-28th: Lee Bodecker🩷

Week of December 29th-31st: COMING SOON!!

[buckyownsmylife]

friendzone - chapter 3

The one where director!reader is forced to work alongside her new work crush and the idiot who broke her heart

For general warnings and author’s notes, please go to the fic’s masterlist.  

Y/N’s P.O.V.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” Getting back to my hotel room to find Chris sitting in front of my door was a nice crash back to reality, especially considering where I’d been until now. Henry had taken me to a little food park, nothing fancy - it was exactly what I needed, and I was all the more grateful for his simple ways.

Paired with that British accent, I was one second from dropping my panties in front of him, but he let me go once the elevator stopped on my level with nothing but a simple kiss on the cheek. 

“I don’t want to rush this,” he’d said, and once again, I understood. But after the make-out session we’d had - and the significant bulge I felt underneath me - to say I was disappointed would be an understatement.

And now, seeing Chris waiting for me in front of my room, it didn’t help the many emotions I was trying to reel in. He had a way of always getting under my skin, and in the situation I was in at that moment, that was the last thing that I wanted.

“Where the hell were you?” He asked at the same time I questioned, “What the fuck are you doing here?” The fact that I was the most aggressive out of the two of us didn’t surprise me anymore. He’d been driving me crazy for months now. I could barely recognize the person that I had become.

“It’s none of your business,” I rushed to inform him, but just as I twisted the knob to make my way into my bedroom and leave him in the hallway, that ugly, angry feeling that he awakened inside of me made me add more to it. “You don’t get to worry about where I was or who I was with anymore. We’re not together, remember?”

I don’t know why I still cared enough to try to push him. It’s not like I expected him to care. But just as his face began to become purple, I started to question my previous assessments, ‘cause that wasn’t the expression of a man who was unbothered about my whereabouts.

No, that was the expression of a man who did care very much about me. I just couldn’t figure out why.

“Let me into your bedroom,” he ordered.

“Never,” I countered, already wavering in my stance because of the fire in his eyes. I’d only seen them like this in the beginning of our relationship, long before he ever planned to hurt me the way that he had.

“Please.” I don’t know what happened. One second I was pushing him away, determined to ignore him, the other I was pulling him in and kissing him as if my life depended on it.

Was I drunk? Or high? What could have possibly justified the betrayal I was performing, even though Henry and I didn’t have anything solid to stand on?

“God, I missed this,” Chris groaned as he shoved himself inside my room and I wet my lips as I pulled away from his kiss, trying to remember why I shouldn’t be doing that.

“Remember how you loved the way I use my tongue…”

“No!” I yelled, pushing him away only to find him staring back at me with a pout on his lips. A fucking pout!

“Don’t be such a tease.” Did he think that would help? It seemed like he did, ‘cause he tried to get closer while I moved out of his reach in my hotel bedroom.

“I’m not being a tease. I just don’t understand what the hell it’s going on here.” Chris shrugged as if the matter at hand was nothing to him.

“I still want you, that’s all.” I should have been shocked beyond all words, but some still managed to get out of me.

“Don’t make me laugh.” Out of all things, he looked offended by that, somehow.

“I’m not joking.” At last finding me cornered against a wall, he pulled my hands into his to get me to look him in the eyes.

“What do you think? You and me, together again. You know it makes sense, sweetheart.” Hearing pretty stuff now had me sweating - an instinctual response of fear. “You know you have always been the one for me…”

“Then why the fuck did you fuck someone else?” He actually cowered at my words, something that I wasn’t expecting to happen, not in a million years.

“Because I was stupid.” His voice was barely over a whisper this time, and despite knowing better, I found myself getting lost in his eyes as he continued, “And I hurt the one person I loved the most.”

Love. The one word he’d never said to me, not while we were still together. I never expected to hear it from him, and maybe it was the surprise or the buzz from my night with Henry, but I found myself leaning in for a kiss that stole my breath away.

“You’re so fucking sexy,” Chris whispered in my ear, eliciting goosebumps as he rushed to take care of my clothes as if he feared I’d change my mind again.

He was right to fear. But I was weak, for him or just in general, I didn’t know and I didn’t care to figure out while he was on his knees, pressing kisses down my thighs while he opened me up to him.

I tried to speed him along, worried reality would come crashing down around us, but he only laughed.

“I’m the one who’s in control here, baby.” I shivered at the old familiar nickname, and then moaned out loud at the contact of his tongue on my clit, making my hand fly down to grab at his hair.

“Where’s your toy?” He asked after licking me for a while, knowing me well enough to know that I never traveled anywhere without one.

I didn’t tell him anything, but he easily located it on the first drawer of the hotel’s nightstand, and then he returned to bed brandishing it with victory in his eyes.

“That’s my girl,” he spoke while I wished he would remain quiet, but I still let him press the wand to my clit while his fingers slipped inside of me, making a mess of the bed underneath us.

“Don’t fucking cum yet,” he growled once my legs started shaking, and any other day, I would have listened to him.

As it was, I couldn’t take it anymore.

He didn’t complain once my orgasm hit me, instead focusing on allowing me to ride it out on his fingers. Wand forgotten by our side on the bed, he allowed himself to rest there for a bit, a sweet smile on his lips as he watched me.

“I haven’t seen you this relaxed since…”

“You stopped trying to make me cum?” I asked, sitting up all at once and looking for my clothes with eagerness to get this entire evening behind me.

“Wait, what?” Unsurprisingly, Chris didn’t seem to be on the same page as me, slowly sitting up in bed as he stared at me with wide eyes.

“Put on your clothes!” I yelled, throwing them at him as the rush of adrenaline and the endorphins started to leave my body, leaving me too tired and stressed for someone who had just had an orgasm.

“Please, give me a chance…” Chris tried to talk to me as he obeyed my request and fixed his own clothes, looking like a kicked puppy all the while.

But I was over giving him chances, even though I had just allowed him to give me an orgasm. “I know you don’t love me anymore, but I-”

I froze in place, my heart rushing and my mind struggling to believe that he would finally say the words I’d been waiting to hear for so long.

“I can’t live without you.” I couldn’t believe this. I couldn’t believe that I had almost fallen for it, again. “I’m being honest,” he insisted while I pushed him in the direction of the door, so fucking done with this entire evening by now.

“You’re honestly trying to get laid, that’s what you are.” And I meant it. I knew Chris by now, better than I probably knew anyone else in my life. But still, seeing him just before I closed the door to his face had my heart squeezing at the sight of his wide eyes and pout, and one thing became clear in my mind: cheater or no cheater, I still wanted to see him happy.

And wasn’t that fucking fantastic?