#Choir of Young Believers

[philogyny08]

Choir of Young Believers - Hollow Talk (Live on KEXP)

[mea-cuppa-part-2]

Hollow Talk - Choir of Young Believers, 2008

[rosicheeks]

Sending strength and love and good vibes your way honey. You can do this!

I really really hope you’re right 🤞

[neuromantis]

today i thought that "once a catholic, always a masochist" is a perfect tattoo-type of phrase. bonus points for being an awesome song. extra bonus points for me still somehow being fucked-up about it.

[anokha-swad]

In the Bible, smoke is frequently associated with the presence of God, as seen in instances like Mount Sinai enveloped in smoke.

Smelling smoke might be interpreted as a divine presence or a call to a higher spiritual purpose. It’s a profound reminder of God’s omnipresence and the call to be more spiritually attuned.

These interpretations, though deeply spiritual, are also very personal. One’s own beliefs, experiences, and intuition play a significant role in deciphering these mysterious olfactory events.

spiritualmeanings.net/spiritual-meaning-of-smelling-smoke/

Photograph of the Enigmatic Sasquatch

[blackownersseekingsuccess]

Remembering Bayard Rustin: The Unsung Hero of the Civil Rights Movement

written by Levi Wise Kenneth Catoe Jr.

August 1, 2024 - Growing up as a Black boy in Paterson, NJ, and attending Roman and Irish Catholic Parochial schools, Black history was not very familiar to me. I grew up in a religious Southern Baptist family and participated in the church choir. In this context, Martin Luther King, Jr., was all that I knew about Black history until I became a teenage Madonna fanatic. Ironically, Madonna made me aware of Black activists and radicals such as Nina Simone, Jean-Michel Basquiat, James Baldwin, and Bayard Rustin. Bayard Rustin was an African American activist who believed in civil disobedience. Rustin felt that Black people should deliberately break unjust laws but do it non-violently to bring about change and this would play a key role in the Civil Rights movement. He also advocated for LGBTQ rights. Rustin moved to Harlem in 1937 and began studying at City College of New York. It’s interesting to note that at the time CCNY was an all-male college once regarded as ‘Jewish Harvard’ which did not accept Black men—Rustin was an unusual exception. While Rustin was at CCNY he became involved in efforts to defend and free the Scottsboro Boys, nine young black men in Alabama who were accused of raping two white women. Activism for Rustin was something that came naturally. He later became a mentor to Martin Luther King.

Rustin is one of my all-time idols. I have been enamored of him since I learned about him, so I was excited to attend an event dedicated to his life and legacy at the Schomburg Center for Research in Black Culture, “Between the Lines: Bayard Rustin, A Legacy of Protest and Politics.” The event was a conversation between Michael G. Long and Jafari Allen, who edited the book of the same name. Their exchange sparked many revelations and I left the event more aware than when I entered. I felt so much pity for the life that Rustin had to live, including the attack on his character that was rallied against him by other Black people and the distance that Martin Luther King placed between himself and Rustin out of fear of people assuming that he was also gay. I also learned that it was Coretta Scott King who introduced King to Rustin. Scott-King met Rustin during her college years as a fellow activist who practiced civil disobedience. She would ultimately introduce her husband King to civil disobedience tactics. Rustin recalled that his first time meeting King he was strapped with a handgun and that he never traveled without his gun. It was Rustin who told King that if he represented civil disobedience he would have to be willing to put away his firearm, which eventually he did. Nevertheless, this raises the question, who was King really? The “I Have A Dream” pacifist or the “Beyond Vietnam” radical? We will never truly know.

All in all what I did learn was that according to Rustin, King had no idea how to organize an event. Instead, it was Rustin who developed the blueprint for King’s early Civil Rights movement, at least until the day that King removed Rustin from his inner circle.

Nevertheless, Rustin returned to organize the March on Washington, despite everything leveled against him by Adam Clayton Powel and Roy Wilkins. Someone noted during the discussion that “it’s funny how karma works given the fact that nobody remembers Wilkins's legacy in comparison to the sudden interest in Rustin.'' If I remember correctly, the comment was made by the moderator, NYU professor Dr. Jarafi Allen, based on the fact that the venue was standing room only, or that the Hollywood lens is now fixated on Rustin’s story, with an Academy Award-nominated movie based upon his life currently in theaters. Wilkins has not received the same interest from Hollywood, perhaps indicating that he is less marketable in the mainstream. Meanwhile, Rustin’s role as an activist for the LGTBQ community is also important for newer generations. Until recently, this legacy and all that he accomplished was invisible, but he has since become a symbol of the “others” and most notably the “forgotten others”. While in his lifetime he was shunned, rallied against, and betrayed by those that he benefitted, history has allowed his legacy the final word.

[godlessondheimite]

Will and Emma are having relationship problems because Will is not taking COVID seriously enough ("Therapy"). The next day Will takes his frustration out on the glee club and accuses them of not taking COVID seriously enough (Finn doesn't understand germ theory and Brittany is QAnon.)

Will says, "You guys lack historical perspective. Back in the 80s and 90s there was a young gay composer named Jonathan Larson who saw disease and suffering all around him. When he found out he was afflicted with AIDS, he put all of his pain into the timeless and unreproachable work of art, RENT. RENT taught us about community and caring for one another and more importantly...it taught us that musicals can rock." Will sings the title song from RENT with Artie and Finn.

That night: Santana is fed up with lockdown restrictions and sneaks out of her house to visit Brittany ("Out Tonight"). Brittany is planning a big show that will blow the whole COVID conspiracy wide open. She previews it for Santana ("Over the Moon"). Santana is freaked out and breaks up with Brittany. Santana can excuse ignoring disease prevention guidelines but she draws the line at being Republican about it.

Also that night, Will tries to sleep with Emma but she's too COVID-cautious ("Green Green Dress"). She says maybe they need some time apart because of their different priorities.

While grocery shopping, Will runs into Holly Holliday. Holly is lighting scented candles in the middle of the store but for some reason all of them are defective/unscented ("Light My Candle.") Holly propositions Will. Will says he's seeing Emma, and Holly admits she also has a boyfriend.

"I'm sure we can work something out," Holly says. "Meet me at the basement of the swinger's club at 9:00."

Will shows up at the swinger's club and spots his old rival, Brian Ryan (the Neil Patrick Harris character). They glare at each other, then confront each other and it's revealed that Brian is Holly's boyfriend ("Tango Maureen.") She knew Brian and Will were old high school rivals and set all this up because she's into the whole enemies-to-lovers thing.

Will scolds her. "That is so cruel and manipulative of you. I can't believe you would do this."

Holly tries to convince him to live life to the fullest. ("Another Day.")

Eventually Will thinks about what proud openly gay icon Jonathan larson would do, and he has a threesome with Holly and Brian ("Contact," I'm afraid.)

The morning after, Will can't believe he kind of cheated on Emma/hooked up with Brian and really enjoyed it ("Real Life").

On Monday, Brittany and Santana are still broken up but sitting on opposite sides of the choir room is emotionally difficult for them ("Without You.")

On the way home from school, Kurt and Blaine are like "Aren't you glad we're not like Brittany and Santana, breaking up every 5 seconds over something stupid?" and they sing "I'll Cover You" but then they break up over something stupid.

Will contemplates his sexual awakening, torn between Holly+Brian and Emma ("Johnny Can't Decide/Come To Your Senses" mashup).

The tension in glee club is unavoidable.

"Mr. Shu, this is ridiculous," Rachel says. "Ever since you brought up RENT and Jonathan Larson, it's been nonstop hookups and fighting. Also, Jonathan Larson wasn't gay and he didn't die of AIDS! He was straight and died of some random heart thing."

"What? Jonathan Larson wasn't gay? So my sexual experimentation was under false pretenses?"

Will immediately calls and breaks it off with Brian and they argue ("What You Own").

The next day Santana says "I can't believe we caused this much fuss over a straight man, who died of a random heart thing."

"Wait, just because he was straight doesn't make his words less powerful," Finn says.

"You're right," Will says. "Maybe I'm bisexual." ("Louder than Words.") And then they all sing La Vie Boheme.

At some point Santana and Mercedes sing "Take Me or Leave Me" as their glee club presentation. (It's a four-part episode.) Also I think Gwyneth would have fun with Today 4 U, don't kill me.



[misogyny4girls]

Are you taking a break because of the recent election outcome?

For a simple answer - No it wasn't, I'd already decided that a few days before.

For a little more, while obviously that would have affected the view of a lot of people who look at my blog, I'm not from the US, and I never plan on their politics affecting me.

That being said, I would like to say to the people(mostly the women) who do follow my blog, as I've done before, to make sure to involve youself within spaces like this safely, namely:

.Do not let the opinions of others sway you from what you actually believe. Horny brain and normal brain are very different things, especially when you have kinks, make sure you know the division between the two.

.Know the difference between a man who actually hates women and one who is in it for the kink. Depending on who you talk to this can be pretty simple, but remember to play it safe in this regard, and set your boundaries to what *you* are comfortable with, not what you're told you *should* be comfortable with.

.Take blogs like mine with several grains of salt. At the end of the day, they're here to make you cum, not to give you earth shattering revelations, even if they affect your thinking slightly, stay realistic about it.

.And lastly, do not meet up with anyone who you don't know very well! It may be preaching to the choir for people like me who've been using the internet since it was young, but in recent years those lines have blurred somewhat, so if you do want to meet up with people from online, especially in circles like this, make sure you know who they *really* are.

I know it's quite the extension of your simple ask, but considering the circumstances I figured I'd lay some things out before I stop posting for a while.

[fakebutilikeyou]

how the poem on Wilhelm's wall foreshadows all of Young Royals S3 bc my YR brianrot won't go away

the poem is "The Shield-Maiden" by Karin Boye (the same author who wrote Crisis) and while we only see the first stanza, it's a lot longer. Here's the entire english translation.

I do think it’s important that the only part of this poem that we see in the show is the first stanza. It’s Wille’s perspective on what it means to have come out and be in a public relationship with Simon.

He’s romanticizing being with him and the “battle” he’s fighting against the expectations of the crown. He sees his love with Simon as armor that will protect him and arm him against the battle with his role as Crown Prince.

Simon is what makes him feel strong. For example, Wille wasn’t brave enough on his own to admit it was him in the video and it was only after Simon chose to be with him that he was strong enough to do so.

Stanza 2 continues his romanticizing of the reality of being in an openly queer relationship. The “giants that fell” is the ideal prince that he was expected to be. The court and tradition tries to keep them apart but their love was strong and bright to him like lightning.

The darkness is the burden the monarchy is putting on everyone in the royal family. Wille believes that he can escape the threat of this darkness by relying more on Simon (bonus that he joined the choir so they literally did sing together).

In Stanza 3 the POV switches to Simon. Where Wille dreamed of being public as something freeing, Simon had a taste of what the media would be like after the video and couldn’t dream of the same things as him. Instead of being “armored and strong” he dreams of “blood and death”.

Wille can dream about their love being armor against all of these things he’s already dealt with but Simon wasn’t ready for battle. In S3 we watch the court and media tear him down, the mortal wound is Simon having to delete himself (i.e. his instagram, writing songs & singing).

Stanza 4 starts with saying you didn’t even notice that I fell, you didn’t even notice that this battle is killing me. Even as we can all see that Simon is suffering, Wille can’t because he’s too distracted with the battle that he’s still fighting against his role.

“With steady hand the shield you held” Wille is still confident in their love’s ability to project him and he continues using it to help him get through his birthday dinner. He’s only brave enough to say all the things he does to his parents because Simon was by his side. (If you rewatch this scene you can notice Wille continually looking over at Simon for support.)

I see stanza 5 as the conclusion. The fire is Simon’s dream (or nightmare) and the dream of roses is Wille’s romanticizing of all of it. The third line is the death of their relationship/the end of the battle.

Wille has lost the battle but still won in a different way. He stops fighting to try and be the traditional crown prince he's expected to be. In the end this is what allows him to dream of Simon again.

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk 💀

[lady-griffin]

I wanted to quickly write out my feelings/thoughts on the song in Arcane’s new teaser trailer.

It could just be trailer music, but I believe Arcane Season 1’s trailer used Dirty Little Animals; so, it doesn’t seem farfetched to say this song will be in Season 2.

I just really loved the song.

It fit with what we see in the trailer as well as certain things I want for S2.

The music has a religious quality to it, not so much it’s like a hymn but with the chanting or choir, it feels very much – invoking a bigger force than one’s self, a calling to something bigger.

I also love that it's children singing, because again, the vibe I'm getting is a calling of arms.

Piltover abandoned Zaun’s children and while we’re obviously not going to only see children fighting Piltover; we are going to see a lot of young people going against Piltover or fighting for Zaun.

Which shows the true power imbalance and the injustice of it all. Piltover might think they’re doing what’s right and acting in the name of justice, but they’re just doing what they’ve always done -

They're putting the Undercity back in its place, back in the ground where they belong, because how dare they think they can attack them. How dare they start a war unprovoked.

The thing is, they're not just fighting evil chembarons or scary chem-tanks; but innocent people as well who have every right to hate and distrust them.

I can imagine there being a scene of someone (Caitlyn being very likely) telling people that Jinx is lying to them and this is all because of her...

But they're not going to reach a single person.

I also doubt Jinx is going to lie or really go out of her way to be anyone’s icon. Most likely she’s just going to be Jinx and look whether or not people should look to her as a savior, is certainly a valid discussion, but not one Piltover gets to have any say in. Because yeah, of course people would look to Jinx; she hurt Piltover.

The trailer is very much in the vein of Piltover and Noxus going against Zaun, taking a stand against them (against tyranny... okay Jan), gathering their forces, and all that...

But this time, it won't be the same.

With the vibes the song is giving, Jinx being this icon of liberation, and just who Jinx is in general – they’re not prepared for Jinx and Zaun. Ambessa is not prepared for Jinx or Zaun. Heimerdinger is not prepared for Jinx.

Caitlyn and Vi might be... but I sense some friction between those two is going to arise from that.

And yeah, the music just gives all of those vibes to me and is invoking so many thoughts.

Plus, music is so integral to Zaun, in a way that it’s not to Piltover. It’s everywhere. All the soundtrack’s songs (lyrics) are focused on Zaun characters or in Zaun scenes. The first scene is Powder singing clearly a folk song of sort, that’s all about asking Piltover for something as small as a penny and now, they're tired of asking.

Jinx didn't start this war. Piltover did.

Excuse my ramblings, I just really liked the song and it was just fitting with what I thought or hoped would happen. I could be completely wrong about all of this, but either way I’m super excited.

[eatmeandbirthmeagain]

Request idea! Baldwin falling in love with a reader who sings in the chorus during mass and secretly meeting with her to court her. Tooth-rotting romance, please! Thank you <3

♡ Heaven In Your Voice - King Baldwin x Reader ♡

♡ Fluff ♡

A/N: Hello Anon! Thank you for this beautiful request, I hope it's what you had in mind! As always this is based on the film Kingdom Of Heaven, not the real historical figures. Enjoy!

TW: Leprosy

It was a peaceful Sunday morning in Jerusalem when the royal officials filed into the church for mass.

Baldwin took his seat, waiting for the service to begin as usual when he heard a few people behind him speaking.

“Have you seen that young lady in the chorus?” one said.

“Ah yes. She is the new singer, I hear she is one of the best singers in the kingdom! Shame she is only in the chorus”

Baldwin paid no mind to this, continuing to stare ahead of him to pass the time.

Finally, the service began.

The crowd rose as the choir began their hymns. But there was something different. A voice, a new voice that the king had not heard before.

He looked up to scan the choir, and that's when he saw her. The most gorgeous woman he had ever seen in his life.

Dressed in white robes, she looked like an angel with a voice to match. He could tell her voice appart easily from the rest of the singers. It was softer, sweeter, and far more beautiful.

His eyes widened and a soft breath escaped his masked lips at the sight of her. Just when he believed the moment could not get any more perfect, she looked at him.

She must have felt his intense gaze, he thought.

Their eyes met, sending a wave of nervous excitement through the young king's body.

The lady smiled as she continued singing and turned her eyes forward once again, leaving Baldwin frozen and bashful.

Like a teenage boy.

For the rest of the service, his eyes did not leave her once. He simply could not look away.

She had him encapsulated at first glance and he didn't even know her name. Baldwin assumed that she was the new choir member that the men behind him spoken of, but he wasn't quite sure.

He simply had to know. 

------------------

As the service proceeded, Baldwin came to the conclusion that he needed to see the young lady privately.

He desperately wanted to know who she was. She had him completly, and she didn't even know it.

As for y/n, meeting the young king's gaze was most definitely a pleasent surprise. She had been welcomed to the choir after years of practice and this would be her first time singing the chorus in church.

She was as excited as she was nervous, especially since she would be singing in front of royalty for the first time. When y/n noticed Baldwin looking directly at her, a surge of excitement washed over her.

But also confusion.

Why was he looking at her of all people? Y/n knew that she was a beautiful woman, she had been made aware of it by many men desperately attempting to court her to ask for her hand in marriage and she had refused each and every one.

But so beautiful that she would attract the eyes of a king? She did not think so.

So why would he be looking at her? It was a mystery. But then again, he was too. The iron mask concealed his identity entirely, leaving his expression unknown as well as his appearance. 

During the brief moments when Baldwin was not looking at her, y/n would look at him.

She tried very hard to not allow a smile creep onto her face. She couldn't help herself but find him attractive.

Even with the mask, he was.. cute. Yes, that was it.

He was handsome, yes, but the innocent blue eyes that peered out from underneath his mask were very cute. Beautiful even.

She longed to speak with him, hear his voice, know his thoughts. But that would be impossible. He was the king! That would not be permitted by any means. 

------------------

As the service concluded and everybody left the church, Baldwin was left wondering about the young woman.

He wondered if she lived in the kingdom or somewhere else. Perhaps outside of the city.

Either way, he had to see her. He simply couldn't go another minute without knowing her name at the very least.

But he had a plan.

He would send a letter, instructing her to meet him in a specific place at the dead of night.

Baldwin hoped that she would accept more than he had ever wanted anything. He desired so desperately to meet her properly. Perhaps even court her soon if things worked out.

The moment he was back in the royal chambers, Baldwin sat down at his desk and began to write. 

To the beautiful young woman who has stolen my heart,

I do not even know your name and yet you have entranced me. Your beauty is mesmerizing and your voice is that of an angel. I long to meet you. 

If you are willing to accept my offer, please meet me outside of the castle gates at midnight and make sure you are alone. 

Allow me this one chance to see you if anything at all. 

With love, King Baldwin IV.

Sealing the letter, Baldwin sat back in his chair. He stared at the piece of paper on his desk and sighed.

Perhaps she would decline his offer? Perhaps this was a bad idea?

He shook his head and picked up the letter, telling himself to stop overthinking it. He handed the letter to a servant and told him to take it to the newest female member of the church choir.

Baldwin then decided to take a short nap. If he was going to be awake until midnight, he didn't want to be tired.

As he laid down on the large bed, Baldwin’s thoughts never once drifted from the young woman. He removed his iron mask and placed it on the bedside table.

All he could see when he closed his eyes was her beautiful face. The image of her eyes looking back at him was the last thing Baldwin saw before he drifted into a light sleep.

------------------

A few hours later, the young king was awoken by a knock at the door. Baldwin sat up and rubbed his bleary eyes as the room came into view.

“Come in” he called out as he reached for his mask, slipping it back onto his mottled face.

“Good afternoon my lord” the servant he had sent earlier said softly, stepping into the room with a low bow. “I have a letter from the young woman you sent me to this morning”.

Baldwin's heart leapt at the servant's words, any drowsiness leaving him immediately as he climbed off the bed to take the letter.

He thanked the servant who scurried out of the room, closing the door behind him. Baldwin sat down at his desk, the feeling of nervous excitement returning to his body as he held the letter in his shaking hands.

He peeled it open slowly, not willing to rush the moment but also craving the knowledge of her response. 

My dearest King,

I thank you deeply for your touching letter and would be honored to meet with you tonight.

As per your request, I will be outside the palace gates at midnight this evening. I can not wait to see you.

With much love, y/n.

Baldwin's heart leapt and a wide grin spread across his face. He simply could not believe what he was reading.

The young king hugged the letter to his chest and he closed his eyes, relishing in the feeling of pure joy.

He could not wait for the hour to arrive.

-----------------

When it did, he was beyond ready.

Dressed in the warmest robes he owned, Baldwin clutched the candle holder in his bandaged hand as he slipped out of the royal chambers, careful not to make a sound as he went. 

As he exited the castle, cool night air hit him instantly, causing him to shiver.

Y/n herself waited with anxious anticipation at the castle gates. Much like Baldwin, she was as nervous as she was excited.

She held a candle in her gloved hands as she waited with her back pressed against the wall beside the gate.

“Hello?” a kind voice called out softly causing her to jump a little.

When y/n turned around to the gate, her eyes met the same gorgeous blue eyes from the church.

“My lord” she whispered underneath her breath, the reality of the situation suddenly hitting her.

“I can't believe you came!” Baldwin said happily, attempting to keep his voice lowered despite the excitement in his tone.

A large grin spread across y/n’s face as she got closer to the gate until they were face to face, merely inches apart.

“Of course I did. How could I refuse such an offer from such a beautiful young man” y/n replied, the grin not once leaving her face.

Baldwin was grateful for the mask concealing his face as blush rose to his cheeks.

“You're too kind, my lady,” he said softly.

Y/n’s heart melted at his reaction.

They spoke for what felt like hours underneath the gentle glow of the moonlight. The two agreed to meet again the following night and said their goodnight's before returning to their respective living spaces.

Neither could stop grinning for the rest of their waking hours that night.

The overjoyed and bashful emotions consumed both of them, each in great anticipation of the following night that was to come.

[poppyfamily]

hello no one asked but i brainrotted a bit over a charashamangela church choir/youth group au bc of That games video. thoughts under cut.

tw: minor religious trauma lol

Chanse and Angela growing up in the church. Each of their parents pushing them to be more active in the church through children's choir. Chanse probably starts earlier, maybe like a month before Angela. Chanse is the type of kid who their choir director had to be told to stop riffing because the purpose of a choir is to sound the same, Chanse. But Angela takes to him immediately and they become best friends.

They are eventually invited to join the church's youth ministry and they get so into it, probably dancing to One Way Jesus very enthusiastically. It's a staple for them to play Joseph and Mary during Christmas plays and are like super chill when facilitating prayer sessions. (They understand that people aren't necessarily there for Jesus or w/e but believe that the spirit of the ministry is to find Christ in one another or some shit).

They stay for a couple of years and manage to drag in Arasha, who goes to the same school as them. She's not Christian and is just there because she was sick of inviting them to do shit on Saturday nights only for them to say no and also for the vibes and free food.

Amanda comes in a little later and is forced by her mom to actually join because she was frequently getting into trouble so she'd rather just know that her daughter is praising the lord (or whatever the fuck goes down in youth ministry) on Saturday nights instead of swimming in people's pools or some shit idk. Becomes besties with Chanse, Arasha, Angela.

Making this about Amangela bc I can't help the way I am: Angela welcoming Amanda to the ministry because it's her job as one of its leaders and Amanda is obsessed with her immediately. Probably constantly inviting her to sit right next to her for Sunday service, surreptitiously holding hands during the Lord's Prayer, going out for ice cream together once Amanda gets her driver's license. Something something horny something something repressed, they end up regularly making out (and more?) in Amanda's car without really talking about the implications but they know they feel SOMETHING. Lots of Catholic guilt - but not being able to stop because it feels nice, because it feels right.

And because I like angst - Something something tension because Amanda starts being deprogrammed from Church rhetoric at some point. She still sees Angela doing the thing to appease all the old church ladies and pastors who give her a sense of self because it's really all she knows and are willing to offer her a scholarship for college so there is Even More Pressure.

But Amanda sees all this and sees just how much she's hiding who she is, feeling like she can't really call her out on it because they are Not. Together. Amanda also sees how this is hurting Angela, but Angela is just so young and so confused and just wants to do right by her family, by God, etc... Amanda starts feeling pain and resentment about it.

In my mind, the older active church members think Angela and Chanse are gonna end up together, get married and all that shit. Chanse and Angela never saw each other that way.

Chanse quits out of nowhere and people speak of him like they're speaking the devil's name, basically erasing all history of his contributions (because he's gay.) Amanda soon quits after, and basically stops speaking to Angela. Amanda and Chanse run into each other months later, make comments about not seeing each other in church anymore, and then they reconnect and become besties.

Arasha doesn't quit, she just stops attending because she becomes busy with college. It's just not the same because Chanse and Amanda aren't there. She doesn't really have an obligation to do so, but she still keeps in touch with Angela.

Arasha and Angela become roommates in college. And because this is the first time Angela experiences independence, she goes on a SIN rampage - secular (lmao) theater, drinking, drugs, sex (lmao). All the things the church loves to police. And she has an identity crisis about it, crying to Arasha about it even.

Arasha, not knowing where the fuck all this Christian guilt is coming from calls Amanda and Chanse for backup and it's the first time they all see each other in a while. They all commiserate in the dorm room and bond and it's beautiful.

Angela wakes up. Amanda, Chanse and Arasha remind her that she's worthy of love no matter what. Once Angela finally internalizes that, she unpacks all the ways she hurt herself and how she's hurt others. Angela and Amanda finally talk about the shit that went down between them. They apologize for hurting each other, and decide to try again with a better understanding of themselves.

And they all live happily ever after. The end.

[staylovesmiley]

Going Dumb~ Chapter 1

ᯓᡣ𐭩Pairing; Kim Seungmin x Fem!reader , Stray Kids x Fem!reader

ᯓᡣ𐭩 ᯓᡣ𐭩Summary; It had been over a decade since you had last seen each other, having met in choir when Seungmin was living with his grandparents in LA and you with your Aunt. Now that you are both presented adults, how will he handle a change to the reality of you he had made in his mind in your absence over the years?

ᯓᡣ𐭩 ᯓᡣ𐭩 ᯓᡣ𐭩 Notes; This is an ABO!AU. in this world when someone reaches puberty they will present with one of three sub genders; alpha, beta, or omega. Due to Alphas and Omegas experiencing rut and heat, some jobs are restrictive as to what sub genders they will hire, specifically singling out omegas as heat suppressants are harder to obtain than rut suppressants. Scent glands are located near the pressure points on the neck and small hormonal patches called scent blockers can be placed over them to reduce or rid an individual of their scent for a period of time depending on the strength of the hormones in the patch.

ᯓᡣ𐭩 ᯓᡣ𐭩 ᯓᡣ𐭩ᯓᡣ𐭩Warnings; abo!au, beta!kim seungmin, almost all alpha!straykids, poly!pack dynamics, female!reader, angst, mild violence, mentions of sexual harassment/assault and discrimination, smut, enemies to lovers, Kim seungmin is kind of an ass I’m so sorry dandy boy, she/her pronouns used for reader, jealous seungmin, I have only ever wrote one abo story before but it is one of my favorite genres so I hope I can do this justice~

(masterlist here)

“God I can’t believe how unreasonable they are being!” Seungmin shouted, slamming the front door behind him as he stormed into the dorm and threw his bag down before pausing to take off his shoes. He made his way to the kitchen, pouring himself a glass of water to calm down while two heads peeked over the edge of the couch to watch him curiously. “What’s up, pup?” Changbin questioned with a teasing smirk, quickly wiping it off his face as the younger turned to glare at him dangerously. “My parents, they are being ridiculous.” He huffed, setting his glass down on the counter before rubbing at his face with exhaustion.

Changbin looked to Felix who sat beside him, the younger alpha shrugging and they both turned back to the beta. “What do you mean, Seungie?” Felix asked as he patted the spot beside him for the younger to join. Reluctantly he took him up on the offer and sat beside the pair on the large brown leather couch. “It’s kind of a long story- and everyone should probably be here cause it kind of involves all of us…” he said with a grumble, not looking forward to having a pack meeting over this. Changbin nodded and sent a message in the group chat.

Seungmin tried to calm down while waiting for everyone to arrive. With it being an off day for most members, it didn’t take long and soon all they were waiting for was their pack alpha who just happened to be walking through the door. “Hey Minnie what’s up? What’s with the need for a pack meeting?” Chan raised an eyebrow, usually he was the one to call for such meetings but he could tell instantly that it was serious and something was bothering their beta.

Sighing, the young beta straightened up and ran a hand through his hair. “So- god this is gonna be a lot I’m so sorry…” everyone rolled their eyes at his stalling and Minho hit him over the head lightly from where he was standing behind the couch. “Spill, puppy.” The younger growled lightly, though not as menacing as he wished it would be to the alpha. “There is this girl-“ Hyunjin gasped loudly, hand over his chest in a dramatic display of teasing faux shock. “Our puppy gets bitches?!” This exclamation earned him a pillow to the face from Jeongin and everyone shouting at him to let the second youngest continue his story before making comments.

“As I was saying, there is this girl who I used to know from when I was in the states, right?” He rolled his eyes at the thought, huffing a bit. “Super annoying alpha from choir who would always hang around me and made everyone avoid me like the plague cause of how annoying she was-“ Shaking his head, he decided he was getting off track. “Anyways, her aunt became friends with my parents and they apparently kept in touch all this time and she is coming to Korea to start working.” So far everyone was following, full attention on the beta in front of them. “Well- she was gonna be staying with my parents I guess while she gets settled and finds a place to live but since they are about to go on this big anniversary trip they don’t want her to get lonely at the house all by herself.” Once again he rolled his eyes in annoyance.

“Get to the point, pup.” Chan urged him, arms crossed over his chest as he saw the others starting to get impatient. “They are bringing her here to stay with us until they get back since we have that spare room and apparently decided we should reconnect or whatever after all this time- as if we were ever really friends to begin with….” He spewed so fast he almost tripped over his words, wincing a bit as he waited for them to scold him for not protesting his parents favor harder.

Everyone stared at him a bit, mixes of disbelief, confusion, and slight amusement from some. “I tried to tell them we are about to have a comeback and won’t be here much as it is and she’d be better just staying at the house anyways but they used that as an excuse that she won’t be a bother cause we won’t have to see her much.” Seungmin groaned, placing his head in his hands. “I’m sorry guys- she should be here in a few hours I just found out on my drive back from vocal lessons.”

Chan shrugged, trying to keep his scent neutral as to keep everyone calm. “Hey, it’s okay Minnie. I’m sure she isn’t as bad as you remember, I mean it’s been a long time since you were in the states yeah?” He nodded, looking up at the oldest with a slight pout. “Yeah…I guess-“ Felix patted him on the back and Minho sighed as he pushed away from the couch. “Well I guess I’ll go get that spare bedroom ready for a guest. Any idea how long she’ll be here?”

Thinking for a bit, trying to recall all his mother had spewed to him about his childhood “friend’s” visit while he seethed quietly on his end of the line. “I don’t know- they will be gone a month but she could find an apartment sooner than that? At least a month then she will go back to my parents. She’ll be their problem.” He groaned, standing up to get his glass of water again and calm his agitated scent. What were his parents thinking dumping you on him like this was some sort of boarding home.

It was about a half an hour after the pack meeting that there was a ring of the doorbell chiming through the apartment. All the members’ heads popped up to look around before Seungmin huffed in annoyance and went to answer it. Upon opening the door his eyes landed on you, suitcases slightly behind you and a shy smile on your soft features. You were dressed in ripped light wash jeans and a plain black hoodie so oversized it fell at almost mid thigh over your jeans. You looked good and he mentally cursed himself for thinking so.

“Seungmin? Oh my god it’s been….forever.” You said the last word breathlessly, looking him up and down with a little giggle as you took in his appearance. “Didn’t think you’d be taller than me someday.” You teased lightly, watching as his eyes rolled and his scent spike with agitation. “Come in, I guess��.where is mom and dad?” He questioned, stepping aside to allow you in before peeking out into the hall to search for them. “Um in a hurry to get back to the airport so they just dropped me off and told me what door to go to…” you said, awkwardness laced in your tone as you pulled your rolling suitcases in with you and looked up to find several pairs of eyes locked onto you.

“Oh- are these your pack mates?” You asked softly, looking around at them with a soft wave and what you hoped was a friendly smile. “Yes. Try not to bother us too much, yeah? We’re very busy right now.” He huffed as he closed the door behind you and grabbed a suitcase with one hand and your wrist with the other causing you to yelp softly at the sudden grip. “Come on I’ll show you where you can stay…” he grumbled out, ignoring the look Chan shot his way before the elder stepped out in front of the two of you to stop him. “Seungmin, are you not going to introduce us?” He asked, eyebrow raised at him before shooting a soft smile to where you stood behind him. “Hi, I’m Bangchan. You can just call me Chan, though.” He said holding a hand out to you.

You tensed a bit, his strong saltwater scent washing over you as if you had just dived head first into the ocean. “Y/n, but everyone calls me-“ Seungmin cut you off, rolling his eyes a bit. At this rate they would fall out of his head with how hard and how many times he was making the gesture.

“Bunny. Everyone calls her Bunny. And that’s Changbin, Jeongin, and Felix on the couch, Hyunjin is the one lurking in the kitchen pretending not to be paying attention, Jisung is in his room, and Minho is in the room you’ll be staying in still I think? He may have gone to his room already-“ Seungmin said as he pointed to everyone’s location before looking at Chan with impatience. “There, introduced. Now can I show them to their room, hyung?” He asked with a slight annoyance in his tone that the older didn’t appreciate. “Puppy…manners.” Is all he said, before stepping aside. “It’s nice to meet you, Bunny.” The alpha said with a wink before heading off to his own room.

You blushed slightly, trailing silently behind your old friend as he lead you into a plainly decorated room with just a bed and bedside table. Minho had indeed already retired to his room so Seungmin gestured to the mostly empty space then sighed. “Here. Don’t make too much noise and again, don’t bother us.” You nodded, taking a deep breath before grabbing onto his wrist as he tried to leave. “Wait- Minnie? Um it’s really nice to see you again. I’m really happy for you and all you’ve accomplished….I hope your parents have sent you my well wishes over the years.”

They indeed had constantly kept him up to date with the messages you had sent to him, though he wondered why after all these years of him dodging any attempts to keep in touch you would care to wish him well or say they are happy for him. “Right, yeah they have. I’m going to wash up, just keep to yourself while you’re here yeah? And don’t call me that.” He said, his usually neutral clean laundry scent souring with his attitude as he quickly left you alone in the room, shutting the door behind him.

You were left standing in the room, a little dumbfounded at his attitude before you scratched a bit anxiously at the scent blockers on your neck. You rolled your suitcases over to the closet and laid them down so it would be easier to go through them when needed, humming softly to yourself before there was a knock at the door. A young man with short black hair and catlike features peeked his head into the room but had his eyes covered by one hand. “Decent?” You giggled a bit, nodding. “Yeah- you’re good.”

Removing his hand from his eyes, the man smirked as he fully entered the room. “Im Minho, you’re uh Bunny, right?” He asked, eyebrow raised with amusement. “Mhm that’s me! It’s nice to meet you.” You reached out, shaking his hand before standing. “Likewise. Sorry for the puppy’s behavior earlier….” You shrugged, sighing a bit. “It’s probably warranted…I feel bad for letting there be distance between us for so long I should have tried harder to keep in touch.” Curiosity flooded his warm caramel scent as he looked at you quizzically. “You seem to be more fond of him than he is of you…” with another sigh you nodded your head. “It seems so, yeah…I’m sure he’ll warm up though it’s just been a while.” Minho nodded slowly.

“Right….anyways- I was coming to say dinner is ready if you wanna come grab something to eat? It’s just pizza we weren’t really up to cooking tonight.” You beamed at his kindness and shrugged slightly. “Sounds good to me!” You said, following him out as he lead the way to the dinning room where multiple pizza boxes lay open on the table.

Everyone was congregated in the living room, something random on the tv for background noise as they ate in relative silence. You got yourself a slice and sat down at the table alone, getting the feeling Seungmin didn’t want you to interact with his pack much but Minho rolled his eyes and took a hold of your wrist, pulling you with him to the living room where everyone else was waiting. “No really it’s fine- I can even eat in my room if you-“ the alpha looked back to give you a look that this was nonnegotiable and you relented, head hung slightly causing everyone’s interest to pique slightly with your easy submission.

Once you settled on the floor with your place on the coffee table in front of you, Minho spoke up. “Can I get you something to drink?” You looked up blinking a bit before answering. “Water please?” He smiled warmly and nodded, grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge and handing it to you before taking his seat. “Seungmin said you’re here for work, yeah? What is it you do?”

You took a sip of your water before replacing the cap and setting it down. Looking up to see it was Chan who had asked you the question. “This is going to sound so cliche but- I’m an English teacher.” This caused them all to look around subtly with more confusion, teaching not being a job many alphas applied for though it wasn’t unheard of. Chan asking you your line of work caused the preverbal glass to tip over and the others began spouting out questions of their own.

“What made you want to teach in Korea?” Came Jeongin, taking a bite of his pizza so large it was almost the whole slice at once. “Oh well I was originally a teacher back in America, for a few years now, but it wasn’t as much money compared to the cost of living….I was talking to Minn- uh Seungmin’s sister and she told me I should try teaching over here.” They all nodded, glancing between you and Seungmin to see his reaction to the mention of his older sister and he simply at his dinner, pretending not to care or listen as his pack mates entertained you.

Next came Changbin, an amused smirk on his lips. “Why do you go by Bunny?” This got Seungmin’s attention and he answered for you in a mocking tone. “Because when she was little she had huge front teeth and always scrunches her nose like a baby bunny. Also had a habit of eating raw vegetables like crazy.” He scoffed, causing you to look down at your lap with a sting in your chest. “Well yeah, thanks Seungmin that pretty much sums it up….I grew into my smile pretty much and I eat more than just veggies now but the name stick so hard-“ You continued to explain, causing the beta to groan exaggeratedly. “Uh- I’m from the south originally and once you get a nickname people from there won’t ever let you forget it. I got lucky mine isn’t too bad-“ you sighed, ignoring the feeling of Seungmin glaring at the back of your head.

The rest of the meal you tried to keep your answers short, fearing angering your old playmate any more for “annoying his members” assumingely. You were quick to help clean up, insisting it’s the least you could do for them allowing you to stay there with them. Once everything was cleaned up and the left overs were put away you had Minho show you to the bathroom and reach you how to work the shower before leaving you with your folded up pajamas, a towel, and your toiletries tucked to your chest to wash up.

While you showered in one bathroom, everyone else got ready for bed using one of the other two before they retired to their respective rooms to call it a night. As you scrubbed away the airport smells from your skin, you reached up and carefully peeled away the scent blocking patches you had on for far to long now. You sighed in relief at the lack of hormones clogging your glands and made sure to thoroughly wash the area to clean away any residue left behind.

Stepping out of the bathroom dressed in a pair of short black pajama shorts and an oversized sweatshirt you padded your way in socked feet to the room your be staying in, your warm citrusy scent quickly filling the apartment and causing the occupants to stir from their beds and make their way out to the hall. By the time all eight men congregated there you were already tucked away in your room, quickly falling asleep after the days travel and jet lag setting in.

“Uh, Seungmin I hate to break it to you but I don’t think your friend is an Alpha- did they tell you they were one?” Felix asked, looking over at him as they all took in your sweet scent. “No- neither of us had presented before I left to come back to Korea…I just- I assumed okay?” He groaned, placing his head in his hands. “What made you think they would be an alpha so strongly?” Changbin laughed, patting the beta on the back. “They were so obnoxious and loud and rowdy and annoying- oh um….No offense? But you know how alphas can be especially when just presenting! Remember Ji?”

All eyes fell on Han and he held his hands up in surrender. “Hey! I came to see the errors of my ways and have made amends-“ they all chuckled and turned back to the second youngest. “She used to get into fights all the time too! One time she beat up my buddy so badly she broke his nose!” He winced at the memory and Chan sighed, shaking his head as he leaned against the wall. “Look- Alpha or Omega it doesn’t matter. She didn’t seem to mind staying here knowing we are all, well almost all, alphas so we just gotta make sure we don’t make her feel uncomfortable. Got it?” Everyone nodded in the affirmative and a chorus of yawns rang out. “Let’s get some sleep, yeah? Busy day tomorrow only a few more til the comeback and we have a lot to prep still.”

Soon they all went back to bed, trying to get some sleep with the foreign but almost intoxicating scent coming from your room and settling well in the apartment with the other collective scents. Seungmin laid on his back for what felt like hours, staring up at the ceiling as it almost taunted him. All these years and any time you were brought up in his mind he knew you as that annoying little alpha who would never give him any space in choir. Hearing you were a teacher now, never having pursued music knowing the talent you held (despite his distaste for you he couldn’t deny that fact) made more sense knowing that the industry rarely accepted omegas, and even had some aversion to alphas.

Shaking his head of the thoughts of you swimming there, he attempted yet again to fall asleep but found it almost impossible knowing you already weren’t who he remembered you to be, and he couldn’t seem to over come the thought that his reality could be altered so quickly without any control. You were seeming to be the death of his sanity yet again and you had only just arrived.

author’s note: I real hope you all like this story- ૮꒰ “. . ꒱ა i purposely left off the readers sub gender from the tags because I wanted to at least attempt to surprise you all~ I’m already have a lot of fun with this series and have so many things planned I hope I can get it all to work (still would love suggestions though I get inspired and hyped up by you all so much ilysm) ᕱᕱ⊹ ࣪ ˖

taglist; @coastinglove @skzswife (if you want to be added to the taglist pls lmk)

[venerawrites]

Could you do gaara x fem reader only one bed trope pls pls pls pls ♥️

author's note: this is heavily inspired by the headcanons I wrote about Gaara's ideal partner and how I imagine him being with someone, who is somehow involved in politics. I loved writing this one and I really hope you enjoy! <3

warnings: slightly suggestive? nothing explicit or NSFW;

"I heard that some representatives from Suna are going to arrive today."

"Hope they got lost!", a second voice scoffed, "Desert worms coming here and begging us for help is the last thing we need. They should just burry their head in the sand and stay away from us!"

The words were followed by a choir of laughter and the sound of clinking glasses. With each step the man took, the voices grew fainter and fainter till they completely disappeared. Soon he was surrounded by silence, disrupted occasionally only by the drunken shouts coming from the nearby alleys and the soft music coming from the brothel at the end of the street.

Gaara adjusted the hood of his coat lower into his face, successfully hiding it from the passing by group of young males. For all the years he had been ruling over the Village Hidden by Sand, he never had to conceal his identity when visiting neighbouring lands. Thanks to his peaceful approach and his infamous speech during the Fourth Shinobi War, the young leader managed to build strong alliances with almost all of the Five Great Countries and their leaders.

With the exception of one - Iwagakure.

While he had somewhat friendly relations with the Tsuchikage, the attitude of the locals remained just as cold and hostile as they were before the war. Decades of betrayals and battles have resulted in a deep mistrust between the two villages, and the unwillingness of many to come and work together to fix it. Some believed that any form of union would never be possible, and even if it was, it would take many years to build.

As someone who has experienced change himself, Gaara was firmly opposing this view. Mistakes were made by the leaders in the past from both sides, but that didn't mean they had to bind the new generation to a future of hate and suspicion. So when he first received the invitation by the current leader of Iwagakure to visit the village and discuss the establishment of new trade routes, he had the clear agenda that he would visit only by himself and two members of the Council.

No guards. No warriors. Nothing that can look like a potential threat to the locals and trigger them to act irrationally.

His vision, however, was quickly shattered once he was met near the entrance of the village by a few of the Tsuchikage's guards, who warned him that there had been some civil unrest since the news of the Kazekage's visit spread around and that it is better if he remained incognito for now.

"A Kazekage should not wander the streets all by himself", the sound of your voice made his head whip toward the corner of the nearby building where he could see the outline of your walking silhouette.

"Not here anyway."

You finally made it to the well-lit part of the street where he was standing and he had the chance to take in your appearance. Much to his surprise, you were dressed in your usual white linen dress, held close to your body by a golden belt. The shiny jewelled collar, which you usually wore, was still resting around your neck, while a number of thin bracelets were covering both of your wrists.

"Councillor", he greeted with a light bow of his head, his eyes travelling from your head to your toes, before setting on your own face, "I should say the same about you. Especially given the nature of your attire."

With a tilt of your head, you looked down, one of your hands smoothing the fabric of your dress before you looked at him again with a small smirk on your lips.

"Is it not appropriate?", there was a humorous note in your tone, "I took extra care in choosing the best gowns in my wardrobe for this visit. It would be disappointing if you are finding them... unfit for the purpose."

The man before you loudly gulped, yet his expression remained unchanged. His ability to keep his composure and his face free of any emotion has always teased your curiosity and it was a personal mission of yours to make him crack.

"You are dressed beautifully as always, Councillor", he finally said, his pale eyes dancing across your figure one more time, "But I fear it doesn't do much to hide who you are or what are the purposes of your visit."

A low, playful giggle escaped your lips and you brought your hand in front of your face, successfully hiding the bottom part of it. The innocence in his question entertained you and you allowed yourself a few long seconds of silence before your replied:

"I believe there is a misunderstanding, Kazekage", with these words your clasped both your hands behind your back, before closing the distance between you, "I am not trying to hide."

A few creases appeared on the man's forehead, a sign of his confusion at your answer. He patiently waited for you to elaborate, but was met by nothing but your silence. You stepped to his left, before nodding your head toward the end of the street.

"Perhaps it would be wise for me to escort you to your hotel."

Completely ignoring your offer, Gaara couldn't help but focus on your words from a moment ago.

"The Tsuchikage's guards warned us-"

"They warned YOU", the emphasis on the last word came out sharper than expected. You took a deep breath, before you turned your head back toward him, this time a tight smile plastered on your face.

"I appreciate your concerns, Kazekage, but I believe there are no grounds for them. I have served Iwagakure for many years in the past and I am well familiar with the locals, just like they are with me. There are no doubts in my mind about my safety."

The eyes of the man narrowed in your direction and he stood frozen in his place for a while before he finally decided to follow you. Both of you fell in a comfortable tempo, neither breaking the silence.

Despite you being part of the Suna's Council for over two years now, the red-headed man had learned little about you since he met you for the first time.

Your appointment was unexpected - he was sitting in his office one day when he was called for an urgent meeting with the Elders. With many of the members either unfit to advise because of their age or the injuries they had suffered in the war, there was a great need for new Councillors to fill their positions. Gaara knew the remaining advisors had been researching and debating among themselves for quite a while now about potential proposals, so he was not surprised by the call, but rather by what followed next.

Three of the proposals he already suspected - they were the names of some of the warriors who had contributed the most to the Allied Forces' and who had an excellent record as Sand Shinobi. The young Kazekage was familiar with them all, as all of them had accompanied him during different missions in the past.

The last proposal, however, took him completely by surprise. When your name was brought the first time, he was unsure if he had heard correctly. Not only were you a foreigner, originally from distant lands far south, but you were also not a shinobi. You came from a family of farmers and did not seem to have any qualifications, yet for some reason, the Elders were quite adamant about their choice.

"Appointing someone who is not native to Suna is unheard of", Gaara protested that day, "And I am also quite unsure about her capacity and qualifications. What makes her so special that you want her to be part of the Council so badly?"

His question was answered as soon as he laid his eyes on you. Stepping into his office with the confidence of a warrior and the looks of a goddess, you demanded the attention of those around you. So when you started to explain your proposals for the establishment of new transport links, trade deals, and cultural exchange programs with the neighbouring villages, it was as clear as day to him why the choose exactly you.

Despite his years of experience as a leader of the village, Gaara was not a political strategist. He didn’t understand the art of manipulation and persuasion, instead relying on his honesty and genuine dream to one day see a united world. And while that seemed to work fine during the troubled times of war, the effect of his inspirational speeches was significantly less in times of peace. He never knew what was the cause for that, at least till he saw the ease with which you managed to persuade the whole Council to support your ideas. Including him.

The admiration of your beauty combined with your sharp mind, also came with feelings of uneasiness and suspicion. Despite your young age, you had an impressive history of serving a number of villages as an advisor, all of them which provided excellent recommendations based on your diplomacy. You seemed to have achieved an impressive record as a state politician, even though you lacked any experience in the battlefield.

“Something troubling you, Kazekage?”, your words brought him back to reality and he looked at you, his jaw working while he tried to gather his thoughts.

“Where does your loyalty lie?”

The question fell out of his mouth before he could think of a less direct way to ask what had been weighing on his mind. You froze in place, your eyes moving toward him, slightly narrowing. His expression also changed and his posture became tense, almost as if he had surprised himself by voicing his thoughts out loud. “I don’t believe in loyalty”, you said with an even tone, focusing your attention on the road ahead again, “Only in doing the right thing in the name of the people’s safety and well-being.”

The answer you offered was not one Gaara was satisfied with. His lips twisted in a scowl and he sped up his step, so he could be shoulder to shoulder with you.

"Thinking of others before yourself is a noble way to live", he reached for his hood and slid it down his head, before ruffling his red locks with his fingers. The smell of his cologne suddenly hit you and you took a deep breath, trying to resist the urge to close the distance between you. You must have been pretty distracted, as his next words almost startled you:

"But I am afraid it will not suffice as proof that it is the interest of my people that you are having in mind."

Closing your eyes, you let out a dry chuckle before stopping in your tracks. His lack of trust did not come as a surprise, you knew about it for a long time. What amused you, however, was how long it took for him to say something about it.

Ever since you became Councillor, the young Kazekage always eyed you with a dose of suspicion. His eyes followed your figure's every movement when you were in a room together and while he thought he was secretive about it, you knew he had been trying to dig into old archives about your past and the work you have done for other villages.

You had no right to blame him. He was looking after the safety of his village, after all. In his position, you wouldn't trust a foreigner who was already an advisor to some of his past rivals, too. Yet you find it a bit ironic, considering he was once the biggest threat to the community he is trying to protect today.

"Nothing more to say?", he stopped next to you, his light eyes boring into yours. You offered a small smile, before making a step forward and leaving just a tiny gap between your bodies. Your fingers reached to his chest before adjusting the little strap that held his coat closed. You could feel his breath hitch under your touch and you had to bite your lip in order to prevent the smirk from spreading on your face.

"Oh, I have plenty to say, Kazekage", you said, before tilting your head to the side and lifting your gaze to the flashing sign above your heads, "But sadly time is not on our side. We have arrived at our destination."

Gaara followed your stare, only to find that you were already in front of the hotel where he was arranged to stay. The building looked old and in poor condition but per the request of the Tsuchikage himself, the red-headed man had to stay there for at least a few days till the officials dealt with the threats made by some of the locals.

While he tried not to question the judgment of the Iwagakure's leader, a tight knot of worries started to form in his stomach, once his eyes met the hostile glares of a few men standing near the entrance of the building. You must have noticed it too, as you made sure to stop near the door and wait for him to enter first, your expression hardening.

Once you entered, you were immediately met with the strong smell of smoke mixed with dust. The lighting was so dim, Gaara had to squint his eyes in order to make his way to the reception. There, sitting on a high wooden chair, was an old woman, who looked at her chipped nails with disinterest, her lips sucking a hand-rolled cigarette.

"Good evening! I have a reservation under the name of-"

"We have no rooms", she growled, not even looking at him. The man blinked a few times, clearly taken aback by her attitude, before trying again. He cleared his throat, before pressing his lips into a thin line.

"There is a room already booked-"

"I said we have no rooms", she interrupted him again, spiting the already burning filter out of her mouth and finally turning her attention to him. Her small yellow eyes scanned him up and down before her expression twisted into a disgusted grimace.

"We don't provide shelters to demons, especially if they come from the Sand."

You watched the interaction from a distance and judging by the attitude of Gertri, the woman who had worked the old boring job of a receptionist for years now, she had not noticed your presence yet. Neither had the few shinobi, who had abandoned their game of cards on one of the lobby tables and were now slowly walking toward the front desk, their hands placed on their weapon pouches in case the situation escalated.

The pale eyes of the Kazekage subtly moved around, noting every single one of the people who were approaching. His fingers twitched under his coat, the cork of his small gourd already gone. He clenched his jaw, deciding to give diplomacy one more try, before he strikes.

"There seems to be a misunderstanding. Your leader himself has arranged my accommodation here."

"You heard the lady!", one of the male shinobis that have appeared hissed, "There is no misunderstanding! Now go away before we make you!"

The low chuckle that sounded past your lips made everyone turn around and you finally stepped into the low lighting of the lobby lamp, with a small bounce in your step.

"Is that a way to show Iwagakure's hospitality, Gertri?"

The woman narrowed her eyes at you, but eventually lifted her hand and waved it, signalling the shinobi to go back to their original places. With hesitation, they agreed.

"We offer no hospitality to those who wished for our death just a few years ago."

You hummed, dragging your forefinger across the surface of the desk before lifting it and inspecting the heavy amount of dust which you had collected on it.

"Do you remember when this place was about to be shut down?", you asked, lifting one of your brows, "And the Council voted last minute to change its tax laws, so you can keep this... business or whatever you call it."

The more you talked, the deeper the woman's frown became to the point her mouth was twisted way down to her chin. Gaara stood next to you, his fingers still in position to attack any second.

"Our debt to you was paid once we agreed to provide a roof over your head", her angry stare moved to the Suna's leader, a loud exhale passing through her nostrils, "But when it comes to him - there are no free rooms!"

You looked over your shoulders to the young man, noting his tense posture. Finally, with a small nod, you moved away from the desk and started walking toward the stairs.

"Very well then", you said, waiving your hand next to you, "As you have no availability, the Kazekage will stay with me for the night."

"What? You can't just-"

"I can and I will", the fake smile on your face quickly dropped, "If you have any problem with it, I suggest raising a complaint with the Tsuchikage tomorrow. Of course, given he doesn't seek you first after I inform him of the poor service of the Kazekage today."

Not giving any chance for a reply, you turned on your heel and made your way up the stairs. For a few seconds it was all silence behind you, till finally you heard the sound of rushing steps and a large hand wrapped around your wrist.

"What do you think you are doing?", Gaara scolded you, a light blush creeping up his neck, "This is totally inappropriate! Do you even realise the position you are putting us in?"

He looked at you with annoyance and all you could give in response was a slight roll of your eyes before you snatched your hand away. Walking a few more steps up to the second floor, you started walking down the corridor, leaving the angry sand shinobi behind.

"Are you listening to me?"

Letting out a tired sigh, you stopped in front of your door, before finally looking at him.

"Are you more worried about your reputation than your safety?"

The man watched you taking out your keys, before entering the room. He switched his body weight from foot to foot, wondering if he should follow you or go back to the ground floor and somehow attempt to secure himself the room that he was promised.

Hesitantly, he choose the first option.

"I know how to handle myself, Councillor."

Humming under your nose, you started to undo the bracelets from your wrists. Gaara used your distraction to look around the room. It was wide, yet almost bare - there were only one double bed in the middle of it with two nightstands on each side, a small coffee table in one of the corners, and a big old rug, covering the majority of the concrete floor. The walls were grey and cold, making the whole space appear darker than it actually was.

"You can call me by my name. We are going to share a bed, after all. No need for formalities", you joked, putting the last of your jewellery on your nightstand and moving toward him. Stopping just a few steps away, you eyed his crossed arms, before meeting his soft glare.

"You are a great leader, but a poor politician. The majority of people here are not the warriors you were fighting side by side with - they are civilians, who have suffered generations by the conflicts between Iwagakure and Suna. If you think that they are just going to provide you with shelter for the night and let you rest peacefully, I am sad to inform you that you are greatly mistaken."

You turned your back toward him before moving to the other side of the bed. Pulling the strap of your dress down, you exposed your bare shoulder to him and you could hear his feet shuffling, a sign he probably had turned away from you.

"You can either roam the streets of the village by yourself all night, hoping nobody will ambush you, or stay here, rest, and think of a solution tomorrow."

There was silence and you knew he was thinking over his options. The receptionist was unwilling to cooperate and if he went back downstairs, the conflict was bound to escalate. He couldn't roam the village at this point of the night either - the risk of encountering unfriendly locals was too big.

Finally, he sighed, looking around the room to find a spot where he can lay down.

"I... um, I will sleep on the floor."

You couldn't help but laugh at his words. Lifting your legs onto the bed, you threw the blanket over your body, while your hands worked at the pins holding your locks up.

"Or you can come here - there is enough space for both", one of your palms made its way to the covers next to you and patted the space, "It's not like we haven't shared a bed before... Kazekage."

Gaara froze at your words and you could hear him slightly choking on his saliva. Smirking, you looked up, only to find him staring at you with wide eyes and flushed cheeks.

"That was a one-time mistake."

Your brow quirked.

"Okay, two-time mistake."

With an amused smile, you lay down, turning toward the wall instead.

"Goodnight, Kazekage! Rest well."

Maybe it was the low tone you said it with, or the sudden flash of memories he got from the time spent with you, but something made him walk over to the bed and sit down. He removed his cape and started working on his shirt, while he debated internally if he really needed sleep at all. Maybe, he could just stay awake all night and... well, probably try not to overthink the hold you had on him.

It was not right for a man of power like him to be so easily seduced. But as he watched his community flourish as a result of your ideas and charm, he found himself unable to say "no" to anything you suggested. Even when you invited him to share your bed in front of others, who were surely going to spread the "news" of such a political scandal first thing tomorrow.

He finally laid down, his forearm resting at the top of his head, while he stared at the grey ceiling. The rhythmic sound of your breath started to calm him and he closed his eyes, the corners of his mouth twitching up once he felt your body twisting toward him. He mirrored your movement, but did not dare to reach out to you, despite his increasing want to do so. Maybe one day this was going to be more than just a mistake.

cc artwork: Emanuel Dias

[iloveinej]

𝐂𝐥𝐨𝐜𝐤𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤

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Theodore Nott x reader

Catagory: Angst, fluff

Warnings: Mentions of wounds and blood. Booth of them are complete dumbasses. Reader is a tiny bit sensitive, but rightfully so.

Summary: Theodore is lonelier than ever, especially after receiving the dark mark. So he tries to find peace in new things. Like Choirs.

Words: 7.2 k

OBS! I gave reader a last name. Oak, but her first name is still your own but just so everyone knows

A/N: Uh, it's long. I don't know if I love it or hate it, but I'm also really tired so I don't have the energy to think. But also, what writers like what they write? So here you go.

(I'm not religious, but god seriously has his favorites)

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His room couldn't contain the warmth that it used to hold during the summer. The fire from his fireplace couldn't keep up with the autumn's chill breezes and cold rains. The heat easily simmered out through the cracks of the old windows, leaving Theodore with stale fingers and cold toes.

On a normal day, he might've complained. When he was younger, he used to despise the cold, always missing the summer rays during the quiet winter. But now? He wasn't sure that he disliked it anymore. The chill air became the only thing that understood the echoing emptiness in his chest.

"I'm joining the Choir." He said absentmindedly. A quick decision he took during the dark hours layered itself with pity and sadness.

"That's rash. I thought you hated Choirs." Blaise mumbled from his seat on the carpeted floor.

Theodore shifted in his soft duvets." I don't hate them, I just don't understand the point of it."

Blaze's face scrunched in confusion and he looked away from his book to watch the other young man mindlessly play with the corners of his sheets." Then why are you joining one?"

Theodore only sighed. He didn't intend to answer Blaise. He wouldn't understand. Blaise had yet to receive the itching curse on his wrist and therefore hadn't been tied to bad things for the rest of his life. Or perhaps, Theodore had become selfish during the quiet days of his suffering.

"Well, I don't care if join or not, but maybe keep it quiet from Draco... and the others." Theodore hummed absentmindedly. If Malfoy would ever find out about Theodore joining something so 'muggly' as a choir, he would stuff Theo in a box and send him straight to the doorstep of Voldermort.

"I know."

Blaize looked at Theodore for any reaction but turned his attention to the book in his lap when Theo only continued to stare at the ceiling.

"Have you packed? We're leaving in two days." He easily rerouted the conversation.

--

The smell of food made Theodore sick to his stomach. Before he left, he hoped that his appetite would return when the warm food that the elves of Hogwarts made entered his nostrils, but his hopes were all in despair.

Classes had been going on for six days and focusing had already been proven to be a task.

Professor Flitwick stopped him in the corridor the earlier day to speak to him about the request for joining his 'Frog choir', as it was called. Professor Flitwick had thought that it was a mere prank. So Theodore stood in the corridor for 10 minutes explaining to the professor that he didn't pull a prank on him.

And now, he sat by the lunch table, idly waiting for the clock to tick to its designated hour. The choir lesson. He had been asked by Blaise at the beginning of the lunch if he were alright, and he had lied with a clump of nerves stuck in his throat.

He wished to believe his nerves only existed to tease him. But his nerves seemed to be right, for it seemed that wherever he went, eyes followed him. Whether it was Draco, who always appeared to be in the same room as Theodore. Or Professor Snape, that read over his shoulder whenever they had positions class.

Theodore shook his head, a small pain making its way into his head. He stood up, and curious glances was thrown his way.

"Why haven't you eaten? You always eat?" Lorenzo asked with his arms tied behind his head. Only for a second, Theodore stiffen.

"Must've eaten something bad yesterday." He barely mumbled before quietly gliding out of the grand Hall.

--

Her eyes shot up from her note page when the door slammed open. The murmur carried throughout the dark and dusty classroom came to halt, and (Name) eyed Theodore Nott suspiciously when he strode into the room. Professor Flitwick tapped his wand against the podium he stood by, effectively gaining everyone's attention again.

"Oh!" Professor Flitwick exclaimed when he saw the tall boy standing by the entrance. "I seem to have forgotten to inform you. This term, Mr. Nott here will join us."

She didn't feel good about a new person joining the choir. Especially not him. The boys from Slytherin had never been nice, and in her luck, she hadn't been the object of their harassment. Which is probably something that she should thank Harry Potter for. But didn't mean that she was entirely safe from their harassment.

If he decided she were to be his next target, it made sense. Not many people knew about her. The students didn't blink an eye when she walked by, and the teachers barely knew her name.

She never believed herself to be quiet or shy. But the lack of attention she received left her believing that she needed to be more interesting to speak to for them to enjoy her company. They thought she didn't want to go with them, so they excluded her from their plans.

It made her think, maybe being interesting didn't belong in her nature.

"Have you ever been in a choir before Mr. Nott?" The professor asked.

He timidly shook his head, and briefly wondered where his old, confident self went. "No Professor."

Professor Flitwick gave him a nod before taking a glance over his small class.

"Well then, grab your notes from the table, and then Miss Oak will help you."

Theodore looked around after this 'Miss Oak', and he believed the young lady looking at Professor Flitwick with eyes popping out of her skull would be the girl that the Professor inquired about.

The old paper felt scratchy in his hand when he grabbed the note-filled sheets, and his body heavily trudged to stand by Miss Oak. She didn't say anything, nor did she look at him when he placed himself beside her.

She tried to not pay attention to the boy on her side, but it became a problem since he radiated off his body heat by how close he stood. Perhaps, she should have offered him her help with the notes. But after a while, it seemed he figured it out and she relaxed at the thought of not needing to interact with him.

The lesson came to an end and she wasted no time packing her things so she could catch the Professor before he turned to the next class to teach.

The rest of the students filed out quickly, and to her luck, the professor didn't.

"Professor Flitwick?" She asked.

He turned around and smiled. "Yes dear, what can I help you with?" He answered, before once again turning back to collect the remaining papers.

"I was wondering if you maybe could have someone else help Mr. Nott with his notes." She stood tall and spoke calmly when the professor turned his full attention to the girl. But inside her, a turmoil of emotion rolled around, making her dizzy and anxious.

"Why is that?" She swallowed when his calculated gaze met hers and tried her best not to tear eye contact.

"Well, because I'm afraid that helping him might disturb the focus on my studies." A small humorous scoff sounded through the room, and Professor Flitwick continued to track down the classroom with (name) hot on his tail.

"I must say that I believe that you are wrong." He started, and (name)'s eyebrows scurried together." I think that you need to socialize yourself, to meet new people. Mr. Nott is a kind young man, who I think will get along great with you."

A sigh of descent escaped her, and she trudged out of the classroom in defeat, beginning the lonely track toward her next class. Which unfortunately for her would be divination.

--

Theodore is an utterly and completely helpless man. He'd met the girl once, one smell, one touch, and he dared never stop thinking about her. The realization had almost knocked him off his chair, for wherever he went, his brain lost control over his eyes and they began to wander, searching after the girl.

For the next Choir class, he made sure to be late again, only so that he could guarantee a second of attention from her. Flitwick had come to warn him about bad habits, but why care? Theodore didn't know. For her eyes flickered to his, and only for a second, the mark on his arm didn't burn his skin.

He slowly walked towards his self-chosen place by her side and didn't let his eyes leave her once. She radiated with caution and apprehension, but Theodore didn't incline to stop staring. At least not until she showed signs of being even mildly uncomfortable.

Her eyes scanned the notes of the Christmas Carol more than she could count as an attempt to not give in to his staring. Because even though she felt tempted to stare at his angel-like face, a fear still presented itself in the back of her mind.

She winced as the floorboards creaked at her nervous shuffle, and once again, felt herself becoming the attention of Theodore's eyes. He opened his mouth, and she made herself ready for anything that could leave his mouth.

"Oh, buggers. I seemed to have forgotten my papers." (Name) watched carefully when the professor rummages through his bag, hoping that his papers are there so he doesn't leave the classroom, risking that someone with dark hair and brown eyes will start a conversation with her.

But to her downfall, Professor Flitwick quickly announced that he would be back soon, and no one had the time to blink before he walked away.

She swallowed the anxious lump in her throat and took a breath through her nose.

"Nervous?" He asked, fully aware that she had been shuffling around and taking unnecessarily deep breaths ever since he situated himself on her side.

"No." She answered, too fast for her liking, before quickly focusing on her paper again.

Theodore wanted to sigh in disappointment when she wasn't up for a conversation, and at the same time felt a stream of pettiness run through his fingertips.

He clenched his pale fist in frustration and looked away. A gust of air passed his lips in a desperate attempt to not let his hopes sink. To be so obsessed with a person in such a so short time felt strange. So strange he started to suspect that a love potion had been involved. But the way she shut herself away from him, he supposed that it would be strange for her to pour a love potion into his drink.

Professor Flitwick's footsteps were loud before he came in sight, and Theodore cursed his chance when it faded into nothing.

But on the other hand, it could turn out to be for the best. He knew that the capability of making a fool out of himself lingered.

Professor seemed to have noticed the shift of emotions on Theodore's face.

"Are you alright, Mr. Nott, you seem to be a bit pale over there?" He wanted to laugh at the coincidence.

"I'm alright, Professor." He answered politely, gently clearing his throat as he tried to brush off the awkwardness of the professor's notice.

But oh to be held, he took notice of a small, inconvenient, soft laugh. His head snapped towards her when he heard who it came from, and she quickly covered it up with a cough and a small apology.

He scoffed quietly, and she pursed her lips as he looked away.

"Everyone ready?" Professor Flitwick asked, and a chorus of positive answers echoed in the hall. And with four flicks of his wand, the choir let their voices out. At first, Theodore believed that no one in this room had sung in a choir. The different voices jumbled together, but it seemed that after just a countable second, the different voices blended into an angel melody.

He could hear her voice perfectly, and he never wanted to have no one else singing in his ear, quite literally. And he let himself bask in the warmth of her tone until a crack reaches the surface. He cringe at the miss of a note in (Name)'s voice, and she did the same.

Theodore struggled to cover up the small chuckles that escaped his mouth, and he blushed in shame to be laughing at her. She didn't seem to mind or hear him. Her face bore a confused scowl, making a wrinkle appear between her eyebrows. Suddenly he felt himself wanting to reach out, to smooth the area out with his thumb. But it would've been ridiculous if he did, possibly ruining all his chances with her in the world.

The harmonious tune took an end, and a murmur broke out, asking each other for the right notes and laughing at each other's wrongs. Theodore listened in curiosity as she hummed the same part over and over again, still getting the same note wrong even though she tries.

"It's an f-sharp, not f." He instructed, and she paused. Patiently waiting for her answer, Theodore hummed the tune for her, showing the correct way. Before the tune ended, he looked towards her to make sure that she was listening, and met her eyes. Theodore felt his heart drum against his sensitive ribs when she watched him with idle eyes.

When it once again took to an end, Theodore masked his madness with raised eyebrows and a look in his eyes, that asked her if she understood.

The eye contact broke as she looked away.

"I knew that, I'd just forgotten." She explained, and the left corner of his mouth rose.

"Sure you did." Sarcasm dripped from his voice, and he feared he'd taken it too far, for he didn't know her limits, how much she would be able to take nor how sensitive she might be.

But his fear easily melted away when he saw the slightest twitch of her lips.

--

For the first time in a long time, she left the classroom with a content look on her face. The conversation that appeared, is something that she had missed happening. Like an old conversation with the rain.

And she almost wished that her next Choir lesson would be today so that she had someone to talk to again. But it was albeit a bit intimidating. She is afraid that if she spoke too much, or shares too many feelings, he would get bored of talking with her. And she wouldn't have a potential friend anymore.

She sighed at her overcalculating thoughts and decided that she would keep basking in his attention as long as it would last.

Until her Transfiguration class with professor McGonagall the next day. Usually, she was fully aware of where everyone was so she could sit alone and not risk getting a desk friend. As said, except for today. Maybe it was to blame on the bad night's sleep, but she hadn't given a second thought about where she sat down.

And once again, Theodore stormed into the class, ten minutes late. He didn't apologize for being late, instead, he took the closest empty seat he could find and sat down.

(Name) could feel the looks from the rest of the Slytherins when Theodore sat beside her and she straightened her spine and directed her eyes forwards again, not wanting to pay attention to them.

"Fashionably late, as usual, Mr. Nott?" McGonagall questioned, amusement in her tone, but stone-set face.

"Sorry, Professor." He mumbled, and McGonagall nodded, intending to start the lesson again.

Theodore could feel the burning gazes of his friends as he opened up his book. At first, he didn't intend to give the bloodsuckers their craved attention, because he knew what it would an about, and he was also well aware of who he was sitting next to.

But he could hear Blaise whispering his name, and he still didn't want to seem rude, so he turned in his chair, and was met by the eyes of his Slytherin classmates. Draco raised an eyebrow at him, before nodding his head towards (Name).

Theodore knew exactly what he enclined and shrugged. His friends didn't need to know everything, and he didn't need to be around them every minute of the day.

A warm feeling, but strange occupied her chest when Theodore turned back, a half smile on his pink lips and relaxed eyes looking upon her.

And she wanted to beat the butterflies in her stomach with a stick.

During the lesson, there were not many words exchanged between them, and at first, it was a maladroit pressure on (Name)s chest to say something or to make him, anything of the sort. But she realized quite soon that she didn't need to speak, for it was both comforting and nice to have him sitting beside her, carefree of what was around him as he wrote on his parchments.

She hoped and prayed to merlin that it would stay like this and that it wasn't just a fortunate stroke of serendipity.

--

Something changed with him. She could both see and feel it, and never had she doubted her senses when she felt as if something was wrong.

In their choir lesson, he acted differently against his usual sarcastic but nice persona, which would help her if she was wrong, or speak to her about professor Flitwick's ridiculous beard.

But today he acted strange, only chuckling at her when she did wrong, and when helping her, he sounded up stuck.

He was almost being competitive.

And it was onerous, and burdensome to have such an enthralling person seeing you as a competition. Especially when she was aware that he was more sharp-minded, wittier, and more ambitious than she could ever wish to be.

So therefore she tried to ignore it, playing it off as if had a bed day instead so that she could protect her feelings.

But it only continued and got worse too.

She was slouching in a chair, wand in hand as she tried the same spell over and over again, but the pair of dice weren't even close to becoming chocolate pralines with passion fruit filling. Theodore had gotten it multiple times and embarrassment was beginning to crawl over her cheeks in the form of warmth.

She flicks her wand once more, and when she finally thinks that she has succeeded, she is disappointed to only see a small patch of melted chocolate. A deflected sigh left her lips, and her body slouched even more in her seat.

A chuckle rang out from the side of her, and she bit the inside of her cheek in anticipation of what he was going to say.

"It's going well I see." He remarked, and (Name) felt her ears getting hot from his sudden attention.

"No, obviously not." She mumbled.

"What am I doing wrong?" The question wasn't directed to anyone in particular, but Theodore answered it anyway.

"That, you have to figure out yourself Oak." He scoffed, moving out of his wooden seat and gently picking the pralines up to place them in his palm.

"Because, unlike others, I do have pralines instead of..." he looked quizzically, but in amusement at the chocolate mush on her table. "... that."

(Name)'s face scrunched as she listened to his almost berating words that were thrown, and was about to say something but he had already started walking up to McGonagall with his paper and sweets. She took a long, calculating glance at them, and then nodded, permitting him to leave the classroom.

And he did just so, collecting his books and taking a last glance at the frustrated witch before making his way.

It left (Name) in hassle. The way that Theodore's behavior changed so quickly, and so out of context. But perhaps she's the one to blame. The hope in her heart maybe made her think that he was the nicest out of them all, that he wanted to be her friend. Perhaps -one day- to be even more. She realized that it is her younger self talking through, the child that didn't wish for anything but true love.

She decided that it was a naive thought, and hastily closed her book before walking away from the class.

The next time it happened, it was during choir. (Name) did try her best to stay civil and rational, but how could she do that when Theodore was somehow effectively getting on her last nerves? And she was usually a calm, down-to-earth person.

"What do you mean I'm doing it wrong, I sing it exactly like everyone else." She argued exasperated as she glared at monstrous holes in the side of Theodore's head. She found it strange that he could get on her nerves so easily, even if his presence were able to make her knees weak.

"You're not singing it like like everyone else, sweety." The nickname threw her off immediately, and she felt ashamed as she spluttered out excuses and arguments against it, trying to act as repulsive as possible.

"Mr. Nott and Ms. Oak, interested in sharing your conversation with the class." Professor Flitwick interrupted, and both Theodore and (Name) realized that the room was almost completely quiet, and cringed in embarrassment.

"Sorry, Professor. But I just have a question." Theodore started, holding one of his fingers in the air as he threw a side glance towards the girl on his side, who was watching him with a curiously raised eyebrow.

"But could you just tell me how this part goes one more time?" He asked, with patronize dripping from his voice like sweet, sticky honey.

The sour face that Flitwick carried quickly morphed into a lighter one.

"Why of course." His older voice rang out the words perfectly, and (Name) shrank into herself as the realization hit her that she did indeed sing wrong. Shame crept up on her from behind, and it was humbling when it came to her that Theodore, who had only been participating for two weeks, already seemed to be more intelligent and cunning than her.

"I won." (Name) didn't look at him, didn't say anything back as a strange, unknown emotion buried itself in her mind. She couldn't decide if it was jealousy, or if she was being hurt by his actions. It didn't make sense for her as to why he would need to be so right, and to mortify her like that, just to illustrate a point. Or maybe she was just being sensitive.

But right now, she didn't believe that he ever wanted to be her friend. That this was just an act to maybe relieve himself of stress, to have someone that he could compete against, knowing that he would win. It could also have something to do with power, that he felt out of control and needed something that he could manipulate. It would make sense, she supposed. (But did it though. Why would he pick her of all people to mess with? She hadn't done anything to him.)

As every single afternoon after choir, she trudged towards her house, lining up for the common rooms, more specifically, the comfort and consoling of her bed.

When she entered, it was pleasing to find that it was only one person present in the dormitory, and she hopefully could rest peacefully during the entire evening and night, and for once wake up with a good night's sleep and possibly a better mood.

Though she would be missing dinner, sacrifices were made and if it would guarantee sleep, she felt confident in taking that risk.

And with the last thought that maybe, she would just have to ignore Theodore if he continued with his confusing advances. Even if it meant that he wouldn't become her friend. And she fell asleep. A deep, undisturbed, peaceful sleep.

The next morning, she felt as fresh as the morning dew on her favorite flower. Nothing could ruin her mood was the famous words, but she truly felt it today. The day began with Magic of the Dark Arts, which she sure wasn't the brightest when it came to that class. But after that, she would practice quidditch, and then she would be able to find a dark corner in the library and bury her nose in a book, possibly one about the magical creatures of the north. It sounded interesting enough. (And who would she be to say no to new information and facts?)

--

As usual, dark arts sucked all the energy out of her eyes and brain but were lucky enough when the energy returned after the intense quidditch practice. The shower she took softened her stiff and sore limbs, and the grime and dirt watched down the drain slowly as she massaged her body with her flower-scented soap bar. It was almost a luxurious feeling.

Her robes had also been washed, which ended up with her smelling like a spring field and newly washed linen. It was something that oddly enough boosted her confidence.

The corridors were fairly empty as she began her quite a long walk towards the library. It was nice, the only thing echoing in the corridors bring the whining wind that carried new crystalizing snowflakes to the ground.

She turned corner after corner, walking by the great hall and resuming towards the moving stairs. But as she turned a corner, she stopped. Not voluntarily, but her body seemed to have control over her mind.

Lit by the flames of the corridor, was Theodore, sitting on the dusty stone floor and leaning against the wall with one of his legs stretched out before him, and the other bent towards his stomach. He didn't see her, for his head rested against the knee of his bent leg, and one of his arms clutched the side of his stomach. Almost as if he felt pain. She stood awkwardly and silently, waiting for him to notice her.

It went against what she promised yesterday night, that she wouldn't interact with, nor acknowledge his actuality. But her promises seemed to become empty every time they circled the Brunett.

So she gently cleared her throat and that seemed to do it for Theodore's head snapped towards her, his face showing that he became startled. But that wasn't the only thing that his face showed.

(Name)'s brows gently furrowed as she scanned his face. His left eye was bruised, along with his sharp cheekbone, and blood continued to drip from his nose, messily running down his lips and over his jaw.

"My my, what do we have here?" The surprised face that he carried slowly turned into a teasing smirk, but she found it easy to look past his confidence to know that it was all a mask, a trick to not let her see him in a state of weakness.

"By Merlin's beard, who did this to you?" she knelt by him to get a closer look at his face.

Theodore hoped that it didn't show, but his face had begun to heat up as her big, concerned eyes stretched over his face.

His heart beat faster, and his own brown eyes got stuck on her face, more exactly on her lips. He didn't want to stare, he didn't want to make it obvious but he had no power over his brain at all.

"Malfoy and Crabe. Maybe Goyle too. Don't remember." He said, shaking his head as he smiled with tired eyes. It was a wonder that he was still sitting up, especially after the hard kick that Crabe had delivered to his stomach.

"Why would they beat you? I thought you were friends?" She questioned, staring intently at a particular wound by his eye that looked like it surely needed medical attention sooner or later.

"I wouldn't say friends, merely acquaintances." He chuckled lightly before he shifted and turned serious." And they were saying impolite things, about someone-someone that I-" He stopped himself and pursed his lips." someone that I guess I care for." He forced that part out as if he had trouble saying it out loud. It probably contributed to the vulnerability, and it had probably torn on his ego to get beaten.

And that's why (Name) didn't ask any more questions. She wasn't usually someone to care about someone's ego, but she didn't want to make him uncomfortable.

She pursed her lips and stretched her legs which created an obnoxious sound in her knees before she stretched her hand towards him.

"What?" He asked skeptically.

"If you want, I can help with your wounds and the swelling." Theodore still looked doubtful, so she sighed and lightly rolled her eyes at his mistrust. "Don't worry, my mother used to work as a doctor back in a muggle hospital and has taught me much, so you can trust me."

Theodore seemed to relax at that and slowly grabbed her hand with a steady grip. It was an odd feeling, to have his hand in hers. It felt different than she thought it would. Instead of the cold, rough skin that she expected, it became a surprise when a warm hand with soft skin latched onto hers instead.

With a strong arm, she pulled Theodore up to his feet and she could hear a small groan leave him as he used his power and might to get up.

His face twisted in pain for a second and (Name) stretched her arm forwards when he almost fell against the wall again. Bit Theodore seemed to collect his strength with a big breath before standing straight, wincing slightly as his probably bruised ribcage stretched.

He must've felt her nervous gaze because he looked down at her with a reassuring face and said "I'm alright."

They began to track down the corridors.

They choose to walk to Theodore's room instead of (Name)'s, since he had a single room all by himself, and also because the girls wouldn't be too fond of finding Theodore in the girl's dormitory. They slowly descended the marble stairs that led to the dungeons, both of them walking much slower than before because of the pain in Theodore's stomach.

"Are you sure that we shouldn't go to madame Pomfrey instead?" (Name) asked for the third time as she heard the heavy breathing that came from Theodore, but he once again shook his head in denial.

"I'm fine, promise." He tried to persuade her, but she didn't feel fooled.

"No, I don't believe that you're fine." She argued and stopped in the middle of the stairs in protest of his hardheadedness. And when he noticed that she wasn't by his side, he stopped too and leaned against the wooden stair railing

"Please." His face showed only pleading, and the foreign display of emotion made her desire to fall to her knees for him right then and there, to take him in her arms and baby him for the rest of his life. It scared her to know that the smallest display of weakness that Theodore showed could manipulate her into doing anything. But it would be inevitable to avoid him because of such a -what she thought was- unimportant cause.

"Alright, but at least let me help you walk." She requested almost timidly, afraid that he would protest. But to her delight he nodded, so she walked to him and took his arm over her shoulder before circling her own around his slim waist, and then with all her power, she took a part of his weight onto her shoulders before they began to move, slowly limping to the edge of the old stairs before they walked down the dark dungeon to the entrance of the Slytherin house.

When they stopped in front of the dark wooden door, (Name) turned to look at Theodore for him to understand that she couldn't say the password since she didn't know it.

His cheeks pinked as he realized and he cleared his throat. "Pureblood." She would be flattered by the fact that he dared to say it loud in front of her, apparently trusting her with the password, if it weren't for the fact that her face scrunched in dislike at the password. She didn't say anything about it.

Theodore seemed to gather strength and nearly pulled her with him as he tried to cross the common room as fast as he could, like his injuries suddenly didn't hurt anymore.

(Name) wanted to stop and gape at the Slytherin common room. The first thing that stood out was the large windows on the opposite side, which allowed a view into the depths of the dark lake that you couldn't get anywhere else. There were also small desks placed against the walls and two round tables on the stone floor. And in the middle two black leathered couches took place in front of a hefty fireplace in the wall. By the thought of walls, (Name) turned her eyes up, and there she saw the stone decorations that had been carved into fetching eye-catching glamors.

Theodore pulled harsher at her arm when she slowed down, and she grumbled as he stressed her towards a high-roof corridor, that had another big window by the end that was framed by long green curtains. She believed it to be strange since the corridor wasn't parted into girls or boys as it was in hers. And there were also arguably more than two doors on the walls.

She counted every door they walked past, and ended up with the number 16 when they stopped between the last pair of doors. The door they were facing had two familiar letters engraved on them. T.N, and had been filled in with silver which she believed fitted him well.

Her free hand grabbed the handle and twisted, opening the door into his dark room. Then she stumbled inside. Her body had become tired from carrying Theodore the length of the stairs and corridors, so she walked towards his made bed and gently sat him down before closing the door. And then rolled her shoulders to leverage the pain.

She tried to look around for some kind of lighter or anything that she could use to gain sight. But it turned out to not be needed when all the candles lit up by the flick of Theodore's hand. And also a small fireplace in the corner that cast a warm hue over the room.

"Medical kit is in the top drawer." Theodore's voice was pained, and it made her hurry to the place he pointed so she could get working on his wounds. It was scary to have him sitting there in pain, labored breathing and his expression tight as he attempted not to show his discomfort. A particularly loud groan made her turn around from the desk where the medical things lay.

Theodore was now leaning against the wall with his eyes closed and teeth clenched. And she wondered how he persuaded her into keeping him away from Madame Pomfrey. She also regretted offering her help to heal him in the first place, since the injuries now seemed to be beyond her expertise. His face showed nothing but discomfort and (Name) started to feel nervous. Her medical skills were good but by how Theodore looked at the moment, she seriously started to doubt her skills.

But she didn't say anything and took a cotton pad soaked in anti-bacterial and plasters to cover the wounds with.

When she stood by the edge of the bed she concluded that she would not be able to reach him when he leaned back as he did, and gently poked at his arm to gain his attention." I can't reach you, you need to sit up."

He hummed lowly, (Name) almost missing the sound before he slowly dragged himself to the edge of the bed, his legs dangling off the side.

She didn't hesitate then and positioned herself between his legs before slowly cleaning both around in the open cuts on his temple and lip that she discovered after wiping away the blood that dripped from his nose.

The position they were in made (Name) almost dizzy with nerves, and she longed to get closer. But it was only longing and she didn't dare to do anything about it and therefore stayed at an arm's length. The new feelings made her weak. Made her feel vulnerable, and that too was scary. Extremely scary.

He suddenly hissed as she slipped with her hands. It didn't take a second before an unusual amount of guilt in her chest.

"I'm sorry, I lost focus."

He nodded. A way of showing that it is okay. But his jaw still clenched when she proceeded with the plasters.

"I need to look at your stomach too." There was quiet as she stood in front of him, waiting for him to raise his shirt. But he didn't seem to be compliant. "I only need to check for anything broken."

He seemed to let down his guard when she added the reason, and her body warmed in shame when she understood that Theodore thought she wanted to see his bare skin.

Also because Theodore had started to lift his shirt, revealing his bare skin to her. She felt almost flattered that he trusted her enough to undress like this. But she knew he didn't have much of a choice.

"Lay down please." He once again did as she said, and slowly leaned into his bed, stretching his upper body when his back hit the mattress. It was quiet in the room, the only thing that you could hear being Theodore's uneven breathing and (Name)'s airy gasp when her eyes landed on his bruised ribs.

"By Merlin, what did they do to you?" she asked him while she took a closer look. The left side of his ribcage had been beaten to the point where the bruises turned yellow and green instead of blue and purple.

"What? What is it?" he moved his hand toward the bruises, trying to feel after the thing that had gotten her stunned but she quickly grabbed his wrist so that he wouldn't cause himself any unnecessary pain. Especially not when she had already made him feel enough pain for the rest of her life.

She swallowed and rested Theodore's hand by his side. He stared at her tensely as she brought her hand up, letting it float over his ribcage. This time, his entire body unknowingly tensed as he waited for the pain that would come when she laid her hand on him. But she never did. Instead, she closed her eyes.

Warmth flowed in waves from the palm of her hand and Theodore's body began to slowly un-tense.

Theodore would trust her with his own worthless life if it came to it, and it wasn't why he felt so on edge. To have her fingers, her flesh so close to his own given his heart something to work for and his brain something to think of. And if he weren't in such agony, he would've begged her to touch him. To lay her warm palm upon his beaten skin, to kiss it, to caress it.

His pathetic thoughts were happily interrupted as the pads of her finger accidentally made contact with his sternum, and a delighted shiver crawled its way over his body.

"Sorry." She apologized, thinking that she had caused him pain.

"It didn't hurt." She looked at him with an unbelieving frown, a frown that made his tongue twist when he tried to stutter an answer.

"Or it does hurt, but your touch... doesn't hurt." She barely heard the last part. Barely, but she still did. Her body heat skyrocketed, and she bit the inside of her cheek to hide her flustered expression, and also to stop the dancing butterflies that made their way up her throat.

He didn't know what came over him at that moment, but a sudden urge to tell her everything limped its way into his mind. It was a long time since he felt this vulnerable and was okay with it. An old memory of him as a child in his mother's arms flashed before his eyes, but he quickly locked it away once more.

But he bit his tongue.

He was sure that she thought he looked pathetic. Here he lay, half-naked, beaten bloodied with tears in his eyes and a frown on his face. He didn't know if he enjoyed the thought or not, because while he enjoyed being vulnerable for you, he still didn't want you to think he was weak because of the touch of the woman he had been obsessing over.

"You must care for this person, hm?" She awkwardly laughed as she smoothly changed the subject. She didn't want to know who he fought for, nor why he did it. But it started getting harder and harder for her to keep to the promise she made herself. To keep him at a distance. Both physically and emotionally.

Theodore didn't have time to answer, both because he was overthrown by the complete change of conversation, but also because she spoke again before he even opened his mouth.

"Who is it anyway. I honestly didn't know you could care about someone that much." She joked harmlessly, but the comment made his mouth feel like paper.

"You."

She stopped her magic, fingers retracting into her palm and her head snapped up to meet his eyes, to see if he lied. But she saw only honesty. No side smirk, no crinkle by his eyes, no pursing lips as a way to hide a mischievous smile.

His eyes were peering at her through his lashes, innocent, brown eyes.

"What- What do you mean?"She carefully asked, knowing exactly what he meant. But she needed confirmation.

"It was you who they spoke ill about." He murmured, staring into the abyss of her eyes. Her body burned like it was on fire because of the nerves that he created within her. And she wanted to look away so that she could catch her breath but she deemed it impossible.

A glaze was cast over his eyes, a glaze containing something akin to admiration.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" The question slipped before she could think about stopping it.

Once more, he didn't say anything. But she could feel how he moved. His arm slowly encircled her and the other hand, he raised to her cheek. His fingers danced along her cheekbone, spreading a fire on her skin that she didn't know to be possible until now.

But the moment changed, as did the energy in the room as he carefully leaned closer with big, hopeful eyes. She stood frozen, one part not believing what was about to happen and the other knowing that if she valued herself, she would have to remove herself right now.

Before he took the next step, she pulled her face away.

Deep in her gut, there was a sour scorching feeling that began to spread like poisoning, killing all happiness that was present before and taking the form of angry tears in her eyes. It was unfair, how he could treat her however he liked, be as awful as he wished. And still have her here, sitting in his sheets and bandaging him with gentle hands.

It was unfair.

"You are so contradicting Theodore." Tears were stuck in her voice and she quickly raised from the bed. She didn't want him to see that she was hurting.

"What?" There was a pang in her heart. He sounded small, like a wounded animal.

"You are mean Theodore." She started, turning around to look at him." At first, you treated me like an equal, like a friend. Until you didn't."

He couldn't meet her eyes anymore, regret eating its way from his heart to his skin. She sniffled and cleared her throat when it became harder to keep her tears at bay.

"I thought that I'd done something to make you hate me, and I was sure you did. But then you kept insisting to sit by me, or to be around me and I couldn't understand." Her voice became small, and her tears became uncontrollable. The embarrassment of sobbing in front of him made her stomach churn, and all she wanted was to shrink into herself. She wanted him to laugh at her, to mock her so that she could get over it and move on.

But that wasn't what Theodore wanted at all. He made her feel hated by him when all he wanted was to be loved by her. And he now felt adamant to change that.

However, it's hard when he slowly crumbles as her tears continue to fall.

"I'm sorry."

And he needs to go to her. So he raises himself off the soft bed and limps toward her. But before he gets too close she turns her back on him, hiding from his fierce gaze. He sighed, saddened by her shyness, the one that had worked hard to get through, only to mess it up either way.

She wrapped her arms around herself and bowed her head to the floor when her sobbing turned into hulking and gasps for air. That was when she felt something different. Theodore had enclosed his hands on her upper arms from behind, giving them gentle caresses with his thumbs. And once more, the caresses spread the wildfire. Her body warmed and her breathing calmed as if the comfort worked.

She didn't know why she doubted that his comfort would work in the first place. Maybe because she wanted to think that he wasn't anything special to her. That love didn't do any difference when it came to a person. But he was, and it did.

Suddenly, before she could blink he turned her around and gently tugged her into his bare chest, enclosing his arms around her in an embrace. The hug didn't last long, but it didn't have to because it brought comfort either way. When he pulled away his hands immediately reached for her cheeks.

When his hands cup both sides of her face, she flinches back. But she doesn't get anywhere for his grip is unmoving. His thumb suddenly touched the space between her eyebrows and began slowly stroking the space, evening out the frown on her face.

She swallows hard. "It was never my intention to make you feel this way." He sighed. A deep heartfelt sigh." I just wanted your attention. And your laughs and your love. But my so thought to be efficacious methods didn't seem to be as efficacious as I believed them to be."

A humorous chuckle rumbles through his chest when a tiny, watery smile tugs at the corner of her lips. And then (Name) feels the aftermath of her sobbing catching up to her body, and a headache grows in her skull. And that's why she lets her forehead rest on the space in between his collarbones.

"Can you ever forgive me?" He asks while letting his fingers push her back from her tear-stained face. She makes a sound in the back of her throat.

"How can I not."

Her voice still had a watery touch to it but sounded more optimistic than she had the entire day. And Theodore tightened his arms around her. But the action sent a jolt of pain through his stomach, and therefore staggered into as he tried to lean some of his body weight on her. But since she wasn't ready, she stumbled against the wall.

"Sorry." He mumbled and pulled away from the embrace.

She chuckled while looking towards the floor, before slowly dragging her eyes up to his face. And then, out of pure instinct, she kissed his cheek and his entire body flared up. "You don't have to apologize."

She hoped he realized the double meaning behind her words. And that she truly did forgive him. Perhaps it would be a stupid decision she would come to regret. But it would be a future problem.

A gentle smile licked her features when he once again cupped her cheeks in his warm palms, and she was on top of the world when he slowly leaned closer.

But he moved so slow, and (Name) wanted to feel him and therefore rose to her toes to gently connect the kiss. It was only a peck, and also short-lived. But it was also her first kiss which meant that it still felt like a thousand suns burned in her chest.

But Theodore seemed to think differently, and with a breath, connected their lips into another sweet, blissful kiss. Although this one not only was deeper but also felt like it was. Her heart beat inside her ribs, more alive than ever when Theodore continued to angle her to meet his lips as he wished. As of the moment, he was pushing her into the wall with his chest, trying to feel as much of her as possible. But since he pressed into her, she had to angle her head up so that he would reach her lips.

Her lungs were burning, and her head spun and she had no choice but to pull away. When she did, Theodore quickly tried to connect their lips again, but she didn't let him. It wasn't that she didn't want to kiss him because she did. But she also wanted to look at him. To see his brown eyes, his pink kissed lips, and rosy cheeks.

"You look pretty." She whispered, and lightly kissed his nose. It was out of her character, but it felt right to do so. Especially when she saw the surprised face that he wore.

And at that moment, Theodore felt at peace. There was no itching on his arm, no pain and she was officially his known addiction. He would never let her go now.

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I'm so lonely. Anyhow, hope you enjoyed, and that it wasn't to long;)

Quick question, do you prefer 1:st 2:nd or 3:rd pov?