#Chengyue Luo

[marcogiovenale]

plutôt la vie… plutôt la ville. premio roberto daolio per l’arte pubblica: domani a bologna

plutôt la vie… plutôt la ville. premio roberto daolio per l’arte pubblica: domani a bologna

Mercoledì 14 dicembre alle ore 16.00, nell’Aula Magna dell’Accademia di Belle Arti di Bologna, si svolgerà la premiazione dei vincitori dell’ottava edizione di Plutôt la vie… plutôt la ville. Premio Roberto Daolio per l’arte pubblica. L’evento vedrà la partecipazione di Luca Vitone, artista che lavora tra Milano e Berlino. Nella conferenza dal titolo Agire i luoghi, racconterà la sua esperienza…

[mejomonster]

things (i can mostly remember) fei du and luo wenzhou calling each other:

fei du calling luo wenzhou: old man (what a classic lmao), menopause sufferer (fei du loves equating luo wenzhou to the crypt keeper just to play himself later when he shows how into older people he is), daddy, shixiong (shixiong, i love you~), Lao Luo (a personal favorite)

luo wenzhou calling fei du: brat, punk, scoundrel, bastard, feizhir (i love this one), darling (a common pet name he uses but a classic and one he uses to comfort fei du), daddy (i believe they’ve both made sugar daddy jokes which is Extra funny give their general d/s shixiong/shidi dynamic)

[evilvillainapologist]

Luo Yiguo, though. 

Obviously he is the best cat, but let's talk about his significance to Fei Du. 

So, it's not subtle that in a way he signifies the part of Fei Du that was mistreated by his father. 

Not only does his father expect Fei Du to treat the cat the same way he treats his son, but not killing Luo Yiguo and giving it back to Tao Ran was Fei Du's first rebellion, the realisation that he could maybe one day escape his father's abuse, just like he had helped Luo Yiguo escape. 

It's not hard to understand why he would identify with a defenseless little cat that could be crushed so easily by a cruel and violent man like Fei Chengyu. 

And then, years later, he learns that Tao Ran entrusted it to Luo Wenzhou. The way he learns it? Seeing the scratches on Luo Wenzhou's hand. 

Could you imagine what a man like Fei Chengyu would do to a creature he considers beneath himself, should it have the audacity to scatch him? 

And yet, Luo Wenzhou, he might talk big about how he is going to turn the cat into stew, but the fact remains that the cat is now seven years old, fat, the boss of the household, and the consequences of scratching its litter-box attendant? None. He is forgiven, because Luo Wenzhou does not let out his rage on defenseless creatures. 

Now the cat, the cat that Fei Du identifies with, has found a home the way Fei Du has always wanted one: a safe space with a person who will take care of him no matter what, who will feed him and not punish him for being the way he is, who will come home every night to keep him company and comfort him. 

Fei Du sees the cat he identifies with in the home it feels most comfortable in and realises that could be him. 

Apart from the game console, Luo Yiguo is the one big realisation Fei Du has that makes him want to be with Luo Wenzhou. It just takes him a little while to admit that to himself. 

[stayuntilthefoglifts]

Why did fei du electrocute himself...is it because to get rid of his blood phobia ?

He used electric shocks as a form of aversion therapy. He did it to forget about his trauma and what his father did to him and his mother. He also did it to unlearn the habits of "psychopath" as he calls himself when he's trying to break up with Wenzhou:

"Captain Luo, you’ve been working as a frontline criminal policeman for so many years. You’ve seen eight hundred if not a thousand psychopaths. You ought to trust your own first instincts. I really am that kind of person—the kind with a naturally flawed brain, a sense of morals and responsibility below ordinary levels, abnormal dopamine and phenethylamine secretions, the kind that can’t feel ordinary human emotions or build stable long-term relationships…perhaps even incapable of feeling so-called ‘love.'"

You are right about his blood phobia because it stems from his trauma and past, especially his mother's death, but he did it mainly to try to correct himself, because he thought that he will become just like his father.

“My capacity for fellow feeling is very poor. I have practically no empathy or sympathy. I lack a sense of shame, my feeling of fear is slower to react than that of other people, and my autonomic responses concerned with anxiety are weak—if you add in a high level of aggression, it’s basically no different from Fei Chengyu. I didn’t especially want to be like him, so I used electric shock to forcibly correct myself.”

That's why he wants to break up with Wenzhou, because somewhere in the future (as he believes) he will become his father and thus (if he stays with Wenzhou) Wenzhou will become his mother, he even says that to Luo:

"I’m not a hoodlum, I’m a sadist’s son. Later, if the disease takes me, I may not let you talk to other people, not let you be alone with your friends, put tracking and listening devices on your phone and your car. If that doesn’t do, I may even lock you in the basement and not let other people see you, wishing I could eat you up. Are you scared?"

The shock therapy is a way to kill the monster that is waiting for its turn, to hurt, and to take away his loved ones just like his father did. Thankfully, Wenzhou is there to help him with him trauma, even though Fei Du is constantly denying having it because he was never hit by his father, he was just used by him to hurt others, as I explained in my answer about the mechanism his father put on his fingers. ( https://www.tumblr.com/stayuntilthefoglifts/765292138486497280/i-have-a-few-questions-about-modusilent?source=share )

Fortunately, after honest talk with Wenzhou and help, he was able to live his life to the fullest, with his love, two cats, and parents-in-law who took him in as their own.

[skylerbluexd]

Physician-Patient Confidentiality

Omegaverse ZhouDu: beta police captain Luo Wenzhou X omega psychiatrist Fei Du

There was a sudden light from the corner of Fei Du’s eyes, it reflected onto his glasses, blinding him momentarily as if the sun had just risen over the horizon. Of course, this was impossible since the sun had just set a few hours ago. The movement was quicker than the sound, the impact was felt first rather than heard. Glass shattered and exploded onto Fei Du as he turned away from the light on instinct. Something cracked near him as the whole car jerked into a harsh spin by the force, stopping at a ninety-degree angle from its original position, tyres screeching from the friction. The airbags deployed, punching Fei Du from all sides. His head was flung backwards, hitting the headrest and turning his sight white. An engine came alive and coughed somewhere a bit further away, its roar closing in on him yet again. After that came the deafening sound of metal bending and windows blowing out as something big slammed into his side once more. The onslaught was too much for the human ear to take in at once, instead, everything turned into a ringing sound. Just before his consciousness left him the pain arrived, slowly covering his whole body like a blanket of sharp needles.

***

Fei Du is a psychiatrist who works with people with temperamental and unpredictable behaviours. Most of his patients are alphas despite him being an omega, and this is due to the fact that he is considered less emotional than typical omegas. Everyone knows that omegas and alphas complement each other, because of this, Fei Du is often paired together with alphas who need the calmness of omegas. With Fei Du's personality, there is little risk for breach of boundaries due to emotional compatibility.

One of his more recent patients is a man named Zhou Haiying, an alpha who deals with childhood trauma from growing up in an unstable environment. Zhou Haiying has all kinds of problems, but his sessions with Fei Du seem to work wonders. With time, he becomes totally obsessed with his psychiatrist. Fei Du rejects him and suggests that they end their partnership. Zhou Haiying pleads with him and promises to keep everything professional going forward. Fei Du gives him one last chance, since Zhou Haiying has only ever shown progress while working with him.

While Fei Du continues to work with Zhou Haiying, a new lead on an on-going disappearence case emerges. The lead is connected to a famous nightclub in Yan City. Luo Wenzhou and the City Bureau team take over the investigation. Soon, the lead takes them to the doors of Zhou Haiying's little rental apartment. After learning who Zhou Haiying's psychiatrist is, Luo Wenzhou finally visits Fei Du. The last time they saw each other, Fei Du was one of the victims of a domestic abuse case, and Luo Wenzhou was the young officer carrying out the arrest of Fei Chengyu. Tao Ran had checked in on the kid a few times after that, but he himself had never really interacted with him after the case. It would be a lie to say that he wasn't surprised to see that Fei Du had become such a handsome young man.

As only betas were allowed to join the police force, Luo Wenzhou was actually lucky with his lot. He loved being a beta. What was there not to love? Betas were the most level-headed of all the subgenders. They were not affected by pheromones as much as the others, and they didn't have to deal with ruts or heats. And best of all, he got to be the sane and calm one when arrogant and hot-tempered alphas try everything to pull ranks with him during arrests. It doesn't matter that his father thinks Luo Yiguo is a better son just because the cat acts like the alpha of Luo Wenzhou's apartment. He loved being a beta, and he also loved being with other betas. Now, his physical traits gave him the looks of an alpha, and he had successfully pulled a few omegas — sometimes even alphas — into his dating life before because of this. The thing was, it simply didn't work because the omegas were never really satisfied with what they got, and Luo Wenzhou was fully prepared for that. Omegas and alphas were made to be with each other. Betas had to find partners in other betas, and he was totally okay with that. But, this Fei Du really was a pretty man. He just happened to be an omega.

Luo Wenzhou tries to focus on the case they are investigating and ignores the slight bitterness in his heart. As expected, Fei Du reveals nothing about Zhou Haiying without a court-ordered warrant. He does, however, flirt with Luo Wenzhou, seemingly not repulsed by the lack of alpha pheromones. Grabbing the opportunity of getting at least a one-night fling, Luo Wenzhou doesn't turn him down. They spend the night together, and Fei Du seems to enjoy it more than the other omegas Luo Wenzhou has been with before.

Shortly after that night, Fei Du is involved in a serious car accident. After reviewing the security cameras, it is revealed that a truck had rammed into Fei Du's car even though the wide road was completely empty. The incident becomes a police matter when the clear footage shows the truck deliberately ramming into Fei Du's car a second time after the initial hit.

--

(I am a very slow writer and I am very busy at the moment, but I might turn this idea into a multi-chaptered fic at some point, and it will be on my Ao3 if I do.)

[grassbreads]

Tell me how I, the gal with terminal "can't stop thinking about Tai Sui" disease, read hundreds of thousands of words of Mo Du over the course of months, starting right after I finished Tai Sui, yet it took me until right now in this instant to put together the Fei Du->Zhou Ying parallel

Like. Here's the favored son of a man who is incredibly powerful and morally bankrupt. He hates his dad and would be quite happy to commit patricide, should he get the opportunity, but he doesn't directly do so because it wouldn't suit his schemes. He has spent his entire life since his teenage years painstakingly putting together the chess pieces necessary to both destroy his dad and unravel the truth of a grand unknowable conspiracy that has haunted his entire life. He's a genius and the way his mind works is utterly incomprehensible to everyone else in the world, even those who know and love him best. The right kind of placid smile from him can be the most terrifying thing anybody has ever seen. He is willing to use himself up and toss himself out completely if it is the means to the final end of his schemes.

It's just that with Fei Du, the whole point of him is that he's not nearly so terrible as he thinks he is. He's not a psychopath. He's not cruel, regardless of how much empathy he may or may not naturally have. He's just spectacularly traumatized by his childhood. And the presence of Luo Wenzhou in his life both saves him from spiraling down into his original epic self-destructive plot and allows him to access his buried human emotions.

Then, 5 years later, Priest came back to revisit some of the same ideas and turn absolutely all of them up to eleven. She wrote a man who doesn't just think differently from others, but who perceives the world so wildly differently from anyone else that his experience of existence is utterly incomprehensible to his peers. She wrote a patricidal prince who doesn't just want to destroy his father and his company, then tear out the truth of a criminal conspiracy, but rather wants to destroy his father and his entire country, then tear out the truth of the sky itself. She wrote a man who genuinely doesn't give a single damn about anyone other than himself and his tiny tiny selection of loved ones. Who would destroy the entire world in a fit of vengeance and who uses his own willingness to kill innocents as leverage against others. She wrote a man who plans to achieve his goals by way of epic self destruction and does exactly that, leaving the main character's loss of him as the central beating tragedy in the otherwise best possible ending.

She also wrote a story in which, when Zhou Ying's closest and most loved person realizes the dark and scheming truth of him, rather than saying "I can fix him; I don't think he's really so bad," he says "yeah, this is my cousin and he's a terrible menace who tries to destroy the world sometimes. I love him more than anything."

You can absolutely see how Priest's interest in similar ideas informed both characters. It's just that Fei Chengyu didn't succeed in raising his perfect little sociopath successor, but Emperor Taiming and the demons of the impassible sea absolutely succeeded in Jokerizing Prince Zhuang. They just couldn't possibly anticipate the kind of monster that the demon of the east sea would become.

[intertexts-moving]

have been thinking ab mo du recently, as one does. mostly re: the very obvious stated theme, that being you stare into the abyss and the abyss looks back at you, the abyss being. being. fei du as the abyss and luo wenzhou as the watcher. fei chengyu as the abyss and fei du as the watcher. violence and cruelty as the abyss and fei du as the watcher. the abyss, the darkness, as recognizing the trauma that lives in your body, or seeing the depths of vicious depravity humans can sink to, or feeling a pricking awareness of the organized crime lurking under the surface of an apparently normal city. fei du as the one watching the darkness, aware of its intentions on him too (this is of course the implication of the line-- if the darkness opens its eyes to watch you, it doesn't want anything good.) luo wenzhou as the one watching the watcher, the solid fucking guy breaking generations of cycles of abuse just by shaking fei du back and forth by the shoulders & hammering into his head that there is a home for him, all of him, the nasty and terrified and deadened and suicidal bits too. fei du as recognizing a similar element or deluding himself into believing there is a similar element btwn him & men who order the death & mutilation of teenagers as acceptable collateral damage. staring into the dark depths for a very long time & understanding them very intimately and thoroughly & eventually coming to a decision & taking a long shaky breath & walking away. fei du's mother as the abyss & fei du as the watcher, the helpless observer, the helpless perpetrator of hurt against her too. etc. the book long cat and mouse game btwn the zhongs etc. ahhh.

[mcheang]

Loyalty and honesty

What if Cheng Yu learned about how Jiheng stole Feng Jiu’s ideas about her special sword?

As a result, when Lian Song finally gives it to her, she rejects it because of the dishonesty involved.

Lian Song: alright, so I got Dong Hua to make it for me. But what’s so wrong about that? It is no different than if I bought it.

Cheng Yu: this sword is made with lies. You and Dong Hua are just blind to it.

Lian Song goes to ask for Dong Hua’s interpretation of that vague statement.

Dong Hua is invested because his mortal trial memories keep cropping up.

Lian Song admits Cheng Yu borrowed his blueprints.

Dong Hua realized that she had a hand in his mortal trial and goes to confront Cheng Yu.

The men find Cheng Yu practising her martial arts. Next to her is a batch of cotton rose ointment.

Dong Hua: where did you get this ointment?

Cheng Yu: Qingqiu of course. I have a Friend there who made it for me.

Dong Hua knew Qingqiu was the kingdom of foxes.

Dong Hua: did this same person also borrow Lian Song’s blueprints from you.

Cheng Yu froze, her reaction a dead giveaway. “No,” she lied anyway.

Dong Hua: are you lying to me?

Cheng Yu: of course not. How would I dare to lie to you?

Dong Hua: you certainly had the nerve to ask after my baby fox at my wedding.

Dong Hua analysed Cheng Yu’s bold posture. It was stiff and uncomfortable but also unyielding. She was defending someone, and was willing to defy him to do it.

Lian Song recognised it also, and worriedly interjected, “Dong Hua, let’s move on. It’s just a dagger.”

Cheng Yu recognised the cause of this and had to refrain from sighing in exasperation. 混蛋！see what you have gotten me into!

Dong Hua: Did you know that my baby fox once made that same paste for me?

Cheng Yu: what a coincidence

Dong Hua: that same baby fox also wounded the demon princess

Cheng Yu: such a discerning fox to recognise a cheat!

Dong Hua: do you know why the baby fox harmed Jiheng when it also owes it life to her?

Cheng Yu swelled red with fury. Jiheng may have tended to Feng Jiu in that lotus prison, but her stupid snow lion also nearly killed Feng Jiu. As far as Cheng Yu was concerned, they owed nothing to the runaway disgrace.

Cheng Yu took a deep breath. “Your majesty, have you truly investigated the matter? Did you think to wonder maybe Jiheng had wronged the fox before she scratched her?”

Dong Hua paused, surprised by the idea. But based on what Lian Song said about Cheng Yu’s reaction.... “Are you implying that the baby fox was the one who improved the blueprints and Jiheng stole the credit.”

Cheng Yu closed her eyes before deciding to give them a half-truth. Clearly the emperor was invested in this and won’t accept any excuse she could come up with.

“Some time after you locked the baby fox, Si Ming found it nearly tortured to death in the water.”

Dong Hua was shocked.

“Turns out Jiheng’s snow lion had beaten her up for accidentally scratching the princess.”

Lian Song kept his gaze on Cheng Yu. He was also surprised at how much information she had hid away.

“When Si Ming had healed the fox enough, she decided to bid you farewell. We agreed to help her out. But before she left, she decided to leave behind a farewell wedding present. Did your majesty ever notice some roasted potatoes on the pavilion table? You certainly didn’t notice her absence, not until long after I inquired about her.”

Dong Hua remained stockstill, absorbing the information.

After a while, he asked, “Is she now in Qingqiu.”

Chengyu reluctantly nodded. “She has decided to move on and start over there.”

Sensing his curiosity and concern, she hastily warned, “She wants a clean break.”

Dong Hua: if that were so, then why did she appear in my mortal trial.

Cheng Yu paled again.

Dong Hua had actually only guessed at this but he turned out to be right.

Cheng Yu: After some time in Qingqiu, the fox was able to gain enough cultivation to have a human form. She told us everything. When Si Ming met up with her, he mentioned your mortal trial. The fox was curious about you and went to check up on you. She saw you were in danger and could not help but save you again. She didn’t realize she had interfered in your trial. Si Ming told her she had to take her place in your love trial then. Only then would she owe you nothing thereafter.”

Dong Hua paused. All this heartache he had been feeling was caused by his little fox. “I want to see her.”

Cheng Yu: she doesn’t want to see you. The moment you come along, she’ll go hiding.

Dong Hua: i owe her an apology

Cheng Yu: you can repay it by leaving her alone. I told you, she wants a clean break and move on.

Dong Hua ignored her, “What is her name?”

Cheng Yu: I can’t say. You never gave her a name. In the mortal realm, she was known as 九夫人, after the nine tailed foxes of Qingqiu who took her in.

Lian Song interposed: Dong Hua, let us think about what to do back at your palace.

After much debating, Dong Hua had to respect his pet’s wishes. If she didn’t want to see him, he would not force her. But he instructed Lian Song to give Cheng Yu the following items to his former pet.

1. A necklace fit for a queen (FJ can’t wear this because it would identify her)

2. A large sum of gold

3. The tiancang cage to protect her

4. A painting he and she had worked on together

5. An invitation to be his disciple (pass!)

6. Her favourite sweet and sour fish (thrown in the trash)

When Dong Hua visited Feng Jiu, he recognised the protective cage on her. Thus began his interest in her.

Oh sure, Feng Jiu still wound up in Fanyin Valley. But seeing the tension between her and Jiheng, Dong Hua refused to allow that stupid tea competition.

When Feng Jiu helped save Dong Hua from Miao Luo and he suspected their connection, he could no longer keep away as much. He had been trying to respect Feng Jiu’s wishes...sorta...he never brings up their past.

He moves in with her.

At the restaurant, Dong Hua defends Feng Jiu’s cooking ability when Jiheng questions it.

Then there’s the whole fruit contest...Dong Hua learned his lesson about getting the whole story. He sent Lian Song to ask Cheng Yu or Si Ming. Since Dong Hua already knows about her involvement in his trial, they explain the Qingti situation.

When Jiheng asks for the fruit, Dong Hua says she will have to ask Xiao Bai. But from what he heard, it won’t be a problem. Xiao Bai will share with Yan Chiwu and the latter will give his half to Jiheng.

Dong Hua takes Feng Jiu out of Valley, but by that time he already has to protect her from Miao Luo and has fallen in love.

Sorry Feng Jiu, it seems Dong Hua can’t leave you alone after this.

[dreamingsushi]

Eternal Love of Dream - Episode 56 Final Episode

Are we ready for the end? No. We are not.

But we are still going to press that play button.

So Donghua used Xingguangjie to seal Miao Luo and she’s not really happy about it. No kidding. So oh well. Let’s die together she says. Chiwu regains consciousness. He believes in Donghua. Naive.

Fengjiu tells Chonglin that she wants to see Donghua one more time, but it’s most likely too late now. Oh wow, she really wants to go die with him. Since we don’t have a fate together, we must at least have enough to die together. What about Gungun? Chengyu asks Lian Song where’s Donghua. Seems like Lian Song can’t hide anything from Chengyu, so he tells her he’sm ost likely to be at the Fanyin valleay. If she’s fast enough she can see him once again. Once they get there, it’s only to notice  thant only Donghua can break down the barried for the Xingguangjie. Chiwu is like what’s wrong with you guys’ face? Once he’s done fighting, Donghua is just going to come out, no biggy. So he finally knows... Poor Chiwu... Then Fengjiu calls out Donghua’s name. He hears her. Not good, he needs to stay focused. Of course Miao Luo uses that moment and strikes. Fengjiu force her way inside the barrier thanks to the ring and Qingti... wth? Qingti takes out of a nowhere a rope and pulls her back, he doesn’t want her to die for nothing. She says she only wants to have a closer look. No. She completely forgot about her kid and is being suicidal. Qingti don’t let her go! This is so stressful.

Zhe Yan and Bai Zhen are in the peach blossom forest when petals starts falling down and Bai Zhen wonders if someone’s dying. Zheyan closes his eyes and opens them. Oh crap, this is bad. And he takes Bai Zhen with him to I don’t know where yet. Well, probably Fanyin Valley. Just right when Fengjiu escapes from Qingti. You did your best Qingti. I liked the human version of yourself better though. Fengjiu jumps inside the valley. She starts fighting Miao Luo to protect Donghua. But as she gets hurt by Miao Luo, she also not doing to thanks to the blood of the red nine tail fox. It dispersed her cultivation. Fengjiu while Donghua fights with Miao Luo put some of her blood on her sword before strikin. But she’s not strong enough to beat her, but she did a lot of damage anyways. Donghua says to go and hide, he will take her back home, but she’s like you’re lying to me again. She says don’t always push me away and covers Donghua’s sword with her blood. They both stab Miao Luo but it’s not enough to kill her. Oh. It works. She dies.

Outside they are all worried and Chiwu is like there’s so many of you, don’t tell me you don’t have a way and then Zhe Yan is like well there is a way. Don’t tell me he’s going to drop a bomb and take in Gungun. Leave that baby alone. Okay no, he says they can use all of their forces together, it’s just that it might make everything blow up. It’s a risk.

Donghua wonders how to send engjiu out. She says if it’s because she hurt him he also hurt her so they are quit. She wants to be with him, he also wants her to be with him. He says it’s true, he also wants to take her everywhere with him, he hoped she would come. He never wants to be away from her, but it’s not okay, she still has many years in front of her. She then says even if he doesn’t want to take her, she’s afraid she’s going to go first. Wow. She doesn’t even remember that she has a son to provide for. She says it hurts and asks him to comfort her, say that he loves her. This is crazy. Am I the only one thinking about the poor kid? She asks him to promise that when he dies he holds her hand. He promises. Is she dead? Oh, they are both dead. But Gungun then?

The others are still working on that barrier. Everyone has a hard time but Zhe Yan and like Lian Song. You see who are the bad ass ones in there.

Oh she’s not dead. Not yet. But he is. Well, he doesn’t open his eyes. Oh wait, he opens his eyes. She tells him not to clos eyes, to listen to her. He says to forget about him. Lol. She would never be able to do that. Well he’s dead now I guess? And her? Well at least she’s unconscious. Their blood then meets and the barrier breaks from inside. And we are back to Qingqiu with our gorgeous queen of the Biyi Bird tribe Jie Lv.

Ji Heng is making statues. Chiwu comes to get her. She hugs him. What? Now she loves Chiwu? Well, I am happy for hi, even though I wish he would have dated Jie Lü. I thought he would never get his happy ending with Ji Heng. Well what she says makes sense. It’s a little out of the blue, but oh well. Was she sculpting figurines of Chiwu earlier? What do you guys think? Chiwu is so cute, he’s so happy.

Lian Song is now playing chess with Qingti and he says Qingti looks more and more like Donghua. Well at least Qingti is smiling a little more. Then Chiwu comes. And Zhe Yan, Siming, Chengyu. And Finally Xia Guchou brins in Gungun. Everybody’s like who’s that kid and Guchou is like it’s obvious just by looking at him. Lian Song guesses that hacing white hair like that it must be Donghua’s son? Chiwu and Chengyu’s faces are priceless. Zhe Yan is like hehehe I knew. Gungun asks asks what’s Donghua. Is it a place? No more like your dad. Then he asks where is his mom? So he sends him in to see Fengjiu who’s sleeping because of her injuries and.... omg. Donghua? Is it true? Is he really feeding medicine to Fengjiu? How is he even alive? Gungun runs to his mom calling her and Donghua is like no you can come closer, who are you? And he drops the medicine when Gungun says he’s Fengjiu’s son. Gungun is like, why is it surprising that I am mother’s son? Uncle you are so handsome, who are you? Then Dongha is like... I am your father Gungun. And Fengjiu’s hand starts moving.

Omg. Donghua and Gungun laughing is so fake, it’s scary, looks like an horror movie. Maybe they didn’t have a good father and son chemistry. But it’s a nice ending, with all the family together.

And there it is. It’s the end. I wasn’t super thrilled about this drama and I definitely don’t feel empty now that it has ended, but I can’t say I didn’t look forward the ending. None of my ships got to have their fate, however I am still mostly happy about the ending. Except for all of my bias dying. I think it shows a beautiful moral about love and hardships as even though Fengjiu and Donghua weren’t fated to be together, they still fought for their love and in the end it worked out. I hope they learnt to talk to each other more so they won’t have anymore misunderstanding. And that Gungun will have a little sister to play with. I am going to miss the beautiful OST of this drama for sure. And human Qingti. And Xu Yang. And Jie Lü. Welll all of those that weren’t really important for the story.

Thank you for bearing with recaps, big thanks to all that discussed with me as I was taking this journey. It has been a pleasure! And if anyone has any suggestions as what I should watch next, I would be glad to hear about them! Until next time!

[mejomonster]

I love the way Silent Reading goes to great lengths to paint rich people as just absolutely horrific, with no consequences for their crimes, and hammer in that horror so you want and desperately feel a rage that this kind of shit should not be possible

[cantalooprat]

Silent Reading

What I Liked

f e i d u ohmygod fei du!!!! truly one of the best main chars written in danmei ever. he's such a tragic character n yet so unbelievably strong as well, like wtf the readers reading modu know he's the victim of child abuse but he himself believes that he's a monster, the same kind as his father, even though time and time again he's shown that he's actually kind inside and not at all like the heartless fei chengyu hnnnnng i want him n luo wenzhou to be happy forever n ever pls pls pls

haa the romance is so good, i loved it in the beginning when they were both chasing after? tao ran n then when tao ran met his high school crush again they were both stuck in this awkward mutual commiseration stage n then they just... inadvertently flirt... n its super awkward... but then when they actually do start falling for each other... haa...

their romance has a v diff vibe from the usual danmei ideal of "you are my destined one, the only one for me in the entire universe, this lifetime (and the next)", theirs is more like "in this life, you may not be my first, but i've chosen you to be my last and i hope you will choose me too, for the rest of my life" n like... its a more realistic romance, a different flavor of sweet

tje fukin CAT i love luo yiguo n i love when lwz started thinking that fei du is the Second Luo Yiguo like its so true... also how tao ran brought yiguo to lwz n lwz was like nah bro but he loves the dumbass fat cat so much!!! its like how initially hes like fei du this brat but now he loves his fei du so much too!!!!! (n then in the end they got a second cat!!!!!)

the cases r so good n some parts r srsly suspenseful n made me gasp like the 3rd case bomb n fd shielding lwz, when tao ran got caught in another explosion (!!!!!), when xiao wu Died n i was sad!!!! even the zhou bros i thought it was gna be mdzs nie bros remix n it was kind of like that n i was sad again!!!

tao ran!! angel!!!! lang qiao!! the most chaotic imperial princess!!!! xiao haiyang!! awkward bean!!!! i love them all they def made modu a more enjoyable read

how can i not say anything abt the ad ost, the ad ost is literal perfection, both yimo n xinggang!!! even the dialog bits they chose for the maoerfm ver ugh,,, i love the way both r similarly vibed dark dramatic ballads, similar but not the same so when one wants to have More, they can listen to the other song n feel fulfilled n satisfied even more, n the lyrics haa i love the lyrics

ok the dialog bits tho, i was super excited to get to the dialog in the beginning of yimo n wah its actually in extra 1 which is like past the ending but it fits so well n they sound so happy im cryig, n then for xinggang they chose the confession (!!!) for the beginning n the sad sad "i'm the last monster left, won't you lock me up in your house" line for the end n im!!!! its so perfect!!!!!!

What I Disliked

as usual i am smallbrain n the last case trying to tie up all lose ends just sort of lost me lmao

iunno theres v few bad things i found abt modu, it was just? so well-crafted? so good? but when all is said n done i just don’t have lasting feelings for it. tbh so far out of all of the priest novels i’ve read, liu yao still has the most lasting impression lmao

Notes

!!!!!!! i have been so excited to write my shitty review for modu

priest is a goddess

luo yiguo!!!!!!!!

Quotes

In my heart, a cluster of flowers lifts their faces to the burning sun, More sweet-smelling than all fine wines. The boiling fragrance has engulfed the scarecrow’s chest, The straw spirit henceforth enjoying boundless longevity.

I’ll trust you again, even though you have such an unreliable record, and if you hurt me again… It seems I still won’t be able not to love you. 

[thegreymoon]

Fei Du is on the brink of recovering his crucial traumatic memories and, honestly, I'm a bit scared to find out 😬

***

Did his mom betray him to Fei Chengyu? Is that how he caught him in the basement?

***

LMAO, she's tired of living 🤣🤣

***

Long sigh.

Of course.

***

LMAO, OK, I did not see her coming 😅

Shiniang got me good.

***

No! How could that possibly be source of stress! 🙄🙄

It's just the man you've loved deeply for many years only barely surviving an assassination attempt! It has absolutely nothing to do with you!

***

Anyway, this is how I imagine Luo Yiguo 🤣🤣

***

I'm really looking forward to Shiniang's backstory now! The amount of hate this woman carried is not only remarkable, she managed to pass it down onto her daughter too. In particular, I'm very curious about this specific group of cops who loved and respected her did/failed to do to make her set them up like this, including killing her HUSBAND, who adored her and whom she had a child with.

Proof that I am asexual af 👇

The very idea of feeding your freshly cooked dinner to the cat without eating any yourself after a hungry day just so that you can go have marathon sex is... very unrelatable, to say the least 😬

I feel like Gollum with potatoes here, all my thoughts are, "Give us the food and keep your nasssssty sex!" 🤣🤣

***

Oh, Wang Xiao has decided to talk after all? Good for her! Let's hope they really will make her rapists and abusers pay.

***

How convenient 🙄🙄

There is zero chance this isn't the guy they are looking for and the brother is lying dead in a ditch.

***

LMAO, luckily????

***

OK, but what about the tree?

Did the ancient tree survive?

***

I feel like that lowly police officer was sacrificed so that Tao Ran could live. All of them were so relieved that he was the one who died 😕 Not that I want Tao Ran to die, obviously, but it feels so callous. Like his life was worth less.

***

Ah, yes. The ancient tree survived. I hate it when the really old trees are destroyed. It feels so evil.

***

I mean, my stupid reason for not believing it's Director Lu is simply the fact that the book keeps hinting that it's him and it's not at all subtle.

***

So, the suspicion is back on Director Zhang. Eh... 😕 Personally, the one I find the most suspicious is teacher Pan. He's always slinking around in the background, not doing anything in particular. I've distrusted him since the moment I met him. He's married to Fei Du's psychiatrist, ffs, it's suspect af.

***

Oh 😶

***

IDK, I still believe him.

LWZ is right, all this is too neat and convenient and I'm only 1/3 into the book.

***

Eh.

Anyway, I'm just here waiting to see what atrocity his older brother is involved in and I'm still bitter Zhang Donglai's idiot sister turned out to not be a murderer.

[dareal3snoveldotcom]

Chapter 224 - Master Luo’s Odd Actions | Shocking Venomous Consort: Frivolous Miss

Chapter 224 – Master Luo’s Odd Actions | Shocking Venomous Consort: Frivolous Miss

Just as Cao Zhibai’s words made Ling Chuxi look at him in a different light, Fu Chengyu was equally shocked by his words. Cao Zhibai started to chat with Ling Chuxi again while Fu Chengyu turned his head slightly to look out of the carriage window. Just watching over someone constantly without being a couple also works? Fu Chengyu felt his heart become a little chaotic. It seemed like there was…

[incessantcomposition]

.

[desymbol]

Extra Time Café & Gallery / XU Studio

Extra Time Café & Gallery / XU Studio

© Zijun Lin

Architects: XU Studio

Location: Shekou, Nanshan, Shenzhen, China

Design Team: ShiJin Xu, Yijun Xu, Chengyu Luo, Ling Ding, Shanshan Liang, YuSang Jiang, Zhiwei He

Design Consultant: Tony Chen

Lighting Consultants And Construction: Lifor Lighting Consultant

New Media Artist: Fito Segrera

Area: 350.0 m2

Project Year: 2017

Photographs: Zijun Lin

© Zijun Lin

Our time…

[mejomonster]

i made myself sad thinking just how charged the idea of collar play would be for fei du and luo wenzhou. lets angst below the cut i guess ToT

so anyway, on a more serious note: fei du avoids thinking about the moments he got choked by the collar of his dad’s to be conditioned to harm living things. he said in one scene he’s ‘not traumatized.’ and while to a degree i think he’s dissassociating, numbing, not remembering or misremembering certain things to cope, and To A Degree i think he really somehow has disconnected enough to think he isn’t traumatized (it’s the whole victim self blaming mentality of “im a monster” and “i wasn’t hurt as bad as the animals i killed or my mom so i have nothing to complain about” which isn’t true but i digress, he definitely tends towards those thoughts when he feels especially self-hating). i ALSO think he is aware that is the most direct source of the trauma (amongst his whole childhood too), when he does let himself Be aware. when he isn’t self-hating himself so much he blames himself and gets angry at himself and drives himself to self harm. 

because the choking when afraid, or remembering the past, or feeling uncomfortable, has been going on for years. he chokes when he has a panic attack. he chokes and luo wenzhou gets scared, doesn’t know why. just knows fei du is suffering and feeling like he felt some other day.

and well. back to the lighter (ish) topic?

luo wenzhou does use force on fei du, but in so many ways its the opposite of how fei chengyu (and fei du towards himself) does. also it has to be, or they certainly wouldn’t have worked out lol. luo wenzhou manhandles him to try and stop him from doing something ‘bad for himself’ or ‘bad to others.’ luo wenzhou manhandles him like a parent that loves a kid or an owner who loves their pet, nothing like the cold father who made fei du hurt animals and his own mom. 

luo wenzhou manhandles him harder, on occasion, and its a lot like how he handles criminals (and i think in fei du AND his mind it Needs to be). but its to stop fei du Before he commits a crime, before he hurts someone, to give him a Serious scolding since luo wenzhou is just too soft hearted to actually throw him in prison. and it’s fei du’s subconcious comfort: luo wenzhou IS strong enough to stop him, if fei du tried to hurt him. luo wenzhou would At Least fight. luo wenzhou would stand up to him if fei du tried to hurt someone. it’s this nice backup plan, for if fei du’s years of self-harm ‘conditioning’ to be repulsed by actually harming someone ever wore off or wasn’t enough to deter him. the thought of: “even if i fall back to my impulses and want to lash out and try to harm, luo wenzhou will try to stop me and maybe be able to long enough for me to get a level head again.” its a comfort that even if he slides towards becoming someone like fei chengyu, luo wenzhou won’t be hurt as easily as his mom (he hopes), and fei du won’t be able to do as much harm before someone tries to stop him at least (like luo wenzhou of course would).

for fei du, the harsher manhandling is fine in it’s own way. because to him it’s an extension of luo wenzhou playing ‘good parent’ and trying to steer him toward not harming others or himself. it’s an extension of their Safer associations of manhandling with luo wenzhou lightly smacking or dragging him out of concern for him and babying him. for luo wenzhou, it’s heavier. it’s an unfortunate reality. for luo wenzhou, because fei du is HIS person and fei du is a LOT, its necessary to be That Extreme at times to try and get through to him or at least stop him until he can start being open and working constructively with him again. luo wenzhou is aware of his blind spot with fei du, willfully blind as luo wenzhou knows its there. The reality that he’s chosen fei du as his person, his person to love unconditionally, to try and protect (even though he’s already failed So much), his person to be with through it all. 

And so if fei du goes all off course into the deep end? Luo wenzhou knows he’ll still be caring, he can’t abandon fei du, he can’t let go, he can’t stop himself from fei du being His (and oh there’s a lot to say too between these two regarding possesion). So luo wenzhou is aware if he abuses his power sometimes, he can try to control Fei Du a little bit extra when he thinks its needed, without bringing in lawyers and charges and having actual interrogations and prison cells. (I’m still interested in what a ‘worst case’ would look like for them, even though the novel probably won’t give it: i think luo wenzhou would be pushed to a hard place if fei du really killed a person, and he had to decide to bring him to justice or try to handle it privately, but either way luo wenzhou would still be there With him every step of the way whether fei du asked or not). 

For luo wenzhou, he often hides this Deeper Fear of needing to use excessive measures to keep fei du ‘steady’ by framing it as an extension of the parenting behavior (like his own dad a bit) that he does toward fei du. Fei Du drinks wine? Give him a light smack, a long boring scolding lecture, and maybe even tie him up. Fei Du says he loves choking people, gets off on it, and wants to see the life bleed out of someone’s expression? Give him a stiffer smack, grab him bodily and remind him he’s in no position to be trying to choke anyone, and give him Another Mundane boring scolding lecture, maybe tie him up if he’s actively trying to choke someone (otherwise just throw him in your car and make him come home to be babysat by you until he cools off). In his own mind, luo wenzhou can try to make it easier on himself by blending the things Too harsh for a normal person’s daily berating (i think the smacking and excessive snipping and tying up over domestic stuff is a Bit Dramatically much personally lol) into part of a normal ‘caring shixiong’ routine, so that when he does have to do it over the heavy Important stuff... fei du is already comfortable with it, knows what to expect, doesn’t get scared of luo wenzhou. (although luo wenzhou doesn’t know that fei du often fears luo wenzhou abandoning him rather than any of the manhandling force or restraint). and so that luo wenzhou is already in the habit of using Extremes if needed... because fei du really might require them one day.

and so we have fei du. a guy who’s dad used to imprison his mother, control her completely domestically, control his son and make him do things he didn’t want to, and harm them both. and make fei du harm other people. 

and then fei du grew up, didn’t want to harm others, and so he harmed himself to Control Himself. that’s how his dad controlled him - by hurting him. so fei du did the same: hurt himself, until he was repulsed by blood and got nausea just seeing it. and then kept regularly harming himself, controlling himself with self-harm, every time he felt like being like fei chengyu as far as wanting to hurt others. (oh fei du, my heart breaks...)

and then fei du had luo wenzhou. who didn’t want him to harm others, who saw this teenager who’d lash out and talk about committing violence, and instead of locking him up or attacking him for being ‘cruel and monstrous’... the guy gave him boring ass lectures. the guy secretly gave him gifts, checked up on him and made sure he was fed, got tao ran to be a safe ‘external place’ outside of his abusive home for him to go and be unthreatened. and tao ran gave him a little animal, and fei du did NOT have to kill it for once or be forced to, and so in a fright he gave it to luo wenzhou so fei du would not harm it like he HARMS EVERYTHING because he’s a monster (in his own mind). and luo wenzhou kept it alive! spoiled it even! and he spoiled fei du, even though fei du was hurting himself, and dad was hurting him. luo wenzhou kept on secretly checking in, tao ran kept supporting him up front. and for the first time in fei du’s life was a ‘controlling’ influence of an adult authority in his life who WANTED him to be SAFE. wanted him to NOT be harmed. wanted him to be a good person who did NOT hurt others, who LET him not hurt others. who even encouraged him to be nice to cats! the polar opposite to his experience in his own household.

and they could have treated him like su luozhan. i think about her all the time, the teen girl who killed a girl, who tried to kill, who had an abusive parent like fei du did who also encouraged her to be the same. how she took pride in her cruelty, saw people like lambs and herself as a predator, how fei du may have had similar thoughts (or at least they’re the thoughts teen and adult fei du lashed out and said he believed many times he argued with luo wenzhou, even if it could be lies). they could’ve been horrified. but luo wenzhou decided fei du was HIS. and so he coddled him, and treated him as normal as if him and tao ran had adopted some kid not fucked up by fei chengyu. 

and fei du is on this balance act growing up, into a young adult. a part of him so trained to be a ‘monster’ that he desires it, sees nothing wrong with it. but it’s associated with the abuse he suffered, with being Forced to hurt others by his dad. so he abuses himself now as an adult (no reprieve), to instead NOT think those things. his dad controls him with violence, and then dad goes into a coma and he controls himself with violence to try and be different.

then there’s luo wenzhou. who certainly does try to put some control over him: like a dad, an authority figure who frankly had no legal right to be as bossy over fei du as luo wenzhou did and kept doing. who continued to treat him like a CHILD even when he became CEO. who had no money to hurt fei du with, no power to trap him like fei chengyu had, no familial tie to lock them together (sure luo wenzhou’s a cop but fei du’s so rich his lawyers could keep luo wenzhou pretty far away if he wanted). luo wenzhou is just Aggressively Pushy into the role of “guardian/caretaker/authority” in fei du’s life. Especially the more they interact. 

does fei du get drawn in because it’s familiar, controlling, something he’s used to? i’m not the one to answer that. is he drawn in because the unconditional love and care that luo wenzhou puts into fei du NONSTOP is so comforting, is HOME to fei du, when nothing ever was before? probably partly at least. As Fei Du says to therapist bai in the start of novel: he doesn’t want to lose the stable home familiar situation he has by life changing (but his secret plot IS making it change and be lost soon enough, fei du’s dad going into the coma and him becoming an adult who still implies he may kill and Captain luo wenzhou being on less and less ground to be able to justify ignoring such statements from an adult, tao ran distancing from both making their barrier to hide from and rely on harder to maintain, life IS changing). 

Luo Wenzhou came in trying to take over like a parent, trying to control and push fei du toward being Good and being Safe. And he failed (in both their minds in a way). Fei Du kept thinking about harming others, and harming himself to stop it: luo wenzhou didn’t manage to make him ‘not a monster’ and luo wenzhou didn’t protect fei du from further harm. (the role of savior and innocent they like to both think of, both fail to live up to, and that the other can’t actually fill either, they still rely on like ceremonies to support themselves). 

and so. fei du is a man who had a controlling father who hurt him, became a controlling person himself who fears that about himself to the point of hurting himself, who fell in love with luo wenzhou who is also controlling. and its in the difference of motivation of where that controlling and restraint comes from, that makes it a safer haven for fei du. 

the control is still scary, it still means luo wenzhou can push forward and FORCE him to open up emotionally and ‘lose his own control.’ which is worse when fei du’s younger, and as luo wenzhou comes to see him as an adult and an equal then luo wenzhou eases up on it and tries to trust fei du to open up emotionally on his own. and is more willing to let fei du back off from being vulnerable if he needs to, instead of pressing the matter regardless. 

the control is also opposite of fei du’s own self control (hurting himself, blocking off his own feelings, etc, and his dad’s similar control over him). Instead luo wenzhou uses that force to control fei du to be Kind to himself, to care about himself, to be taken care of. Luo wenzhou uses that power to try and get fei du to open up to his real emotions, real internal worries and thoughts and self whether its monstrous or not Luo Wenzhou WANTS the REAL HIM and loves it. luo wenzhou WONT try to choke him for not wanting to kill an animal, nor would luo wenzhou try to kill him FOR wanting to cut someone up. luo wenzhou doesn’t use his controlling actions to try and make fei du be someone else... even though to an extent that’s what fei chengyu and fei du himself did. 

and so, it’s complicated. to fei du, the idea of luo wenzhou’s hand on his neck is a non-issue. luo wenzhou is the opposite of everyone who’s ever hurt him, is more trustworthy holding fei du’s life in his hands then fei du is in protecting his Own Life. fei du is far more afraid of what he’d be made to do by others, by his own mind, by so many other things.

it terrifies luo wenzhou though. he never wanted fei du hurt in the first place. he carries the silent guilt of having left fei du with fei chengyu for years, having been stupid enough to really leave fei du in danger like that. he feels horrific for having Never forced fei du the young adult to OPEN UP MORE emotionally, because while it would’ve been pushy and unfair to fei du... maybe he’d have found out about the self harm, and been able to intervene sooner. but now that fei du’s an adult, an equal, someone he should leave in control of their own vulnerability and who can and should decide for themselves if they’re willing to open up and be honest or not? its too late. their past is a mingling of so many what ifs and should haves where luo wenzhou feels beyond awful that he didn’t do MORE to protect fei du, do better. 

luo wenzhou doesn’t want fei du to feel trapped. he doesn’t want fei du to feel like he should take abuse from anyone: others, himself, or from luo wenzhou. 

luo wenzhou could’ve gone off the deep end in so many ways the day fei du confessed to his secret plot and spying in the villa. but in the end? he drove away to give fei du a break from forced vulnerability, then came back with food, opened the door by picking the lock (opening a way for fei du to be vulnerable if he wants) and offering that they eat together (a chance for fei du to come and meet him halfway and willingly choose to open up and be honest again with the promise luo wenzhou will accept him). the last thing luo wenzhou wants is to be anything like fei chengyu, or fei du himself is toward fei du. 

and finally lol, to the light topic at the start: how would they feel about collar play? ToT well for all luo wenzhou ABSOLUTELY embodies daddy dom domestically to the point it’s ridiculous, he’d adamantly avoid it. fei du might bring it up, while bringing up a host of kinky things? but luo wenzhou would rather his handcuffs, the ropes, the manhandling, all feels like a hug or support or a reminder fei du is Supported and Accepted and held in luo wenzhou’s arms. if he has his arm on fei du’s throat it would be for no one else to hurt it, to remind fei du it’s just luo wenzhou now, not anything that would hurt him. 

(oh and maybe... i’m changing my own mind now lol, maybe they’d be into collar play if it was soft and literally just about fei du Not being choked, not being in danger, no one restricting him, more about luo wenzhou’s touch there keeping it out of harm and insisting it shouldn’t ever be harmed... if they ever did try it. but honestly i think luo wenzhou is a little ‘anti-restraint’ in sexy situations lol, unless its holding fei du against him/under him. because for luo wenzhou, the force is not Ideal... its a necessity he makes himself do, to get through to someone as Intense as Fei Du, to be as controlling as can handle fei du when that’s needed, to help ground fei du into reality. to handle crises if they come up with fei du, if he has to handle it himself. he’d much rather, as he tends to show, cuddle fei du and hold him and smack him gently and do all these things that aren’t threats the way fei du was used to.)