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lucky-clover-gazette · 2 months ago

Text

kings rising highlights & annotations

chapter 15

indented text is from the book. some quotes have commentary, some do not. some comments are serious, and some are definitely not. most of them will only make sense to people who have read the series. and, like, there are spoilers. so please read the books first if you're interested!

also: part of the reason i'm doing such a close reading is to study cs pacat's style, especially in terms of how she does romance and erotica. there are "craft notes" that might seem weird, like i'm being redundant or restating something rather than analyzing, but those are more things that i want to remember/take away from the writing!

i'm going to tag these longer posts with "sam reads capri" in case anyone wants to read them all at once.

this is a google doc i wrote with overall content warnings for the captive prince series. it's not perfect, but i do think it's important to include.

Damen, who as a prince of the blood did not excel at wagon repairs, nodded knowledgeably,

love this slightly snarky oxymoronic moment from the narration. fake it til you make it!

‘Hey!’ Laurent called out. He was pulling himself up from the front wheel onto the wagon top. He had a swathe of yellow silk in his hand, and he stood on the wagon waving it colourfully at the squadron. ‘Hey you! Akielons!’

i think this entire bit is going to be so much funnier and rewarding after having done 2.5 books of intense analysis, which has made me essentially conclude that laurent and to a slightly lesser degree damen are a gifted and naturally-inclined improv comedy duo, even in the most dangerous and horrifying situations. horny despite the horrors? nah, “yes, and”-ing despite the horrors

It was too late to stop it. Too late to grab at Laurent’s ankle. The squadron had seen them. Brief visions of strangling Laurent weren’t helpful.

The officer in question was identifiable by his superior horse.

"superior horse"

‘You are merchants?’ ‘We are.’ ‘What name?’ said the officer. ‘Charls,’ said Damen, who was the only merchant he knew.

very thankful that they recycle the charls name from the inn but don’t bring up volo again. for reasons

‘You are Charls the renowned Veretian cloth merchant?’ said the officer sceptically, as if this was a name well known to him.

the absurdity here is perfectly escalated. of COURSE charls is well-known, they cannot catch a fucking break!!

also i just love the idea of these cultures essentially regarding merchants as celebrity figures. like is charls an influencer. he’s so popular that even people in the opposing nation have no choice but to stan

‘No,’ said Laurent, as if this was the most foolish thing in the world. ‘I am Charls the renowned Veretian cloth merchant. This is my assistant. Lamen.’

i like how laurent’s correction isn’t “of course he isn’t this public figure you know and like, neither of us are” in order to steer clear of having to prove their identities, but instead it’s ‘i’m the public figure you know and like, because i can actually sell this bit’

also admittedly some of the comedy in king’s rising does not work for me. especially the more fanfic-y stuff. but laurent using the ship name for him and damen in the text as a fake name is so fucking funny and i love it

(sorry i couldn't help myself)

The officer said, ‘We’re patrolling for Damianos of Akielos.’ ‘Who’s Damianos of Akielos?’ said Laurent.

‘He’s the King’s son,’ Damen heard himself saying, ‘Kastor’s brother.’ ‘Don’t be ridiculous, Lamen. Prince Damianos is dead,’ said Laurent.

Then, to the officer: ‘I apologise for my assistant. He doesn’t keep up with Akielon affairs.’ ‘On the contrary, it’s believed Damianos of Akielos is alive, and that he crossed into this province with his men six days ago.’ The officer gestured to his squadron, waving them forward. ‘Damianos is in Akielos.’ To Damen’s disbelief, he was waving them forward to mend the wagon. One of the soldiers asked Nikandros for a wooden block to brace the wheel. Nikandros passed it to him wordlessly. Nikandros had the slightly stupefied look that Damen remembered from several of his own adventures with Laurent.

this scene works so well because of everything that came before it. just… absolutely perfect

‘When your wagon is repaired, we can ride with you to the inn,’ said the officer. ‘You’ll be quite safe. The rest of the garrison is stationed there.’ He used the same tone that Laurent had used when he had said, ‘Who’s Damianos?’ It was suddenly obvious that they were not free from suspicion. A provincial officer might not feel comfortable confronting a well-known merchant on the road and searching his wagons. But at an inn, he could set his men to investigate the wagons at his leisure. And why risk a fight with a dozen guards on the road, when you could simply escort them back to the waiting arms of your garrison? ‘Thank you, officer,’ said Laurent without hesitating. ‘Lead on.’

damen doing my analysis for me!

It was a common enough arrangement in the provinces: merchants and travellers of good birth appreciated and even subsidised a military presence, which elevated an establishment over the usual public houses where not even a slave, if they possessed a shred of respectability, would risk eating.

in akielos, it’s apparently more respectable to be enslaved than poor. boooooooo

‘Very well.’ Laurent showed no sign of hesitation whatsoever. ‘Come, Lamen.’

i think in-universe laurent isn’t using it as a ship name, but as a pun to call damen “lame.” because he’s a bitch

‘This is Charls the renowned Veretian cloth merchant.’ ‘That isn’t Charls the renowned Veretian cloth merchant.’ The innkeeper looked at Laurent. ‘I can assure you that I am.’ ‘I can assure you. Charls the renowned merchant is already here.’ There was a pause.

‘Who is this impostor claiming to be m—’ They came face to face with Charls the Veretian cloth merchant.

laurent is getting ready to “yes, and” the shit out of this

Charls took one look at the unmistakable blue eyes and blond hair of his Prince, who he had last seen in Damen’s lap dressed as a pet in a tavern at Nesson. His eyes widened. Then, with a truly heroic effort: ‘Charls!’ said Charls.

no notes. delightful situation.

‘If he is Charls, then who are you?’ said the officer to Charls. ‘I,’ said Charls, ‘am—’ ‘He is Charls, I have known him these eight years,’ said the innkeeper. ‘That’s right. He is Charls. I am Charls. We are cousins,’ said Charls, gamely, ‘named after our grandfather. Charls.’ ‘Thank you, Charls, this man believes I am the King of Akielos,’ said Laurent. ‘I simply meant that you might be an agent of the King,’ said Stavos irritably. ‘An agent of the King when he has raised taxes and threatens to bankrupt the entire cloth industry?’ said Laurent.

laurent in this scene is me like 70% of the time playing dungeons and dragons. yessss girl pull in local politics and economics to make people accept your credibility

‘There is no need to apologise, Stavos. Your vigilance does you credit.’ Laurent gave a stiff little bow of his own. Then he drew off his riding cloak and passed it to Damen to carry.

‘In disguise again!’ Charls said sotto voce as he drew Laurent over to his table by the fire. ‘What is it this time? A mission for the Crown? A secret rendezvous? No fear, Your Highness—it’s my honour to keep your secret.’

charls deserves his celebrity status. i’m obsessed. he’s like, “oh goodness how delightful! i wonder what fun games of deception the king of vere and his little boyfriend are playing now!”

‘This is my assistant Guilliame.’ ‘This is my assistant Lamen,’ said Laurent.

laurent gets to be himself but damen doesn’t. lmaoooo

Laurent found a seat close to Charls and the silk merchant Mathelin. Lamen was relegated to a small three-legged stool at the table end.

loving how the narrative is now just calling damen “lamen”

It was decent wine and there were no flutists or dancing boys, which was the best one could hope for at a public inn, Damen thought.

WELL DAMEN I THINK THAT’S PROBABLY BETTER THAN PEOPLE SPECIFICALLY ENSLAVED AND GROOMED TO PROVIDE ENTERTAINMENT FOR THE RULING CLASS BUT MAYBE THAT’S JUST ME

Guilliame came to talk to him, since they were the same rank. ‘Lamen. That’s an unusual name.’ ‘It’s Patran,’ said Damen. ‘You speak very good Akielon,’ he said, loudly and slowly. ‘Thank you,’ said Damen.

picturing him like yzma in the sombrero

Nikandros had to stand awkwardly by the end of the table when he arrived. He frowned when he realised he had to give his report to Laurent. ‘The wagons are unpacked. Charls.’

nonconsensual improv

‘We usually operate in Delfeur, but I’ve been forced to come south. Nikandros is completely useless as the Kyros,’ Laurent said, loudly enough for Nikandros to hear him. ‘He doesn’t know the first thing about cloth.’ ‘That is so true,’ agreed Mathelin. Charls said, ‘He disallowed trading in Kemptian silk, and when I tried to sell silk from Varenne he taxed it at five sols a bolt!’

this is the best day of laurent’s life

nikandros private twitter vent #15. obviously. also does this count as an hr complaint? gonna say no—but i think nikandros would still file it out of spite

‘Charls met the Prince of Vere once,’ Guilliame said to Damen, lowering his voice to the conspiratorial, ‘in a tavern in Nesson, disguised as a,’ lowering it further, ‘prostitute.’ Damen looked over at Laurent, who was deep in conversation, letting his eyes pass slowly over every familiar feature, the cool expression tipped with gold in the firelight. He said, ‘Did he?’ ‘Charls said, think of the most expensive pet you’ve ever seen, then double it.’ ‘Really?’ said Damen. ‘Of course, Charls knew who he was right away, because he couldn’t hide his princely style, and nobility of spirit.’ ‘Of course,’ said Damen.

two possibilities here:

1) charls is lying about recognizing laurent immediately as a flex for his friends (most likely)

2) charls did recognize laurent and was just like “go off i guess”

Across the table, Laurent was asking questions about cultural differences in trade. Veretians liked ornate fabrics and dyes, weavings and ornamentations, Charls said, but Akielons had a sharper focus on quality, and their textiles were in truth more sophisticated, every aspect of the weave revealed by their deceptively simple styles. In some ways, it was harder to trade here. ‘Maybe you could encourage Akielons to wear sleeves. You’d sell more cloth,’ said Laurent. Everyone laughed politely at the joke, and then speculative looks crossed one or two faces, as if this young cousin of Charls’s might have stumbled by accident onto a good idea.

this is perfect for several reasons:

1) laurent using his political intelligence to make a genuinely helpful suggestion, foreshadowing that he will be a great leader

2) laurent dunking on akielion fashion in front of damen, which he has done several times before, but this time damen can’t argue

3) laurent further mocking damen, who dropped a fucking pitcher because of his exposed arms, by suggesting that his entire culture start wearing sleeves en masse so such situations would not occur again. iconic.

4) we actually get a sense that it might have worked. because laurent really is just That Bitch.

the wagons where Jokaste was spending the night, along with Guion’s wife, Loyse.

so we’ve got an akielion noblewoman, who had the bastard child of one of the two princes as a means of social mobility, having a hostage sleepover with the mourning and resentful wife of a veretian noble whose son died as a result of her husband’s unforgivable choice of letting said son be assaulted as a means of social climbing. very fun girl’s night circumstances

Damen the assistant checked in on both the soldiers and the wagons,

so he’s called damen again? but he’s called lamen in like two paragraphs. did someone else get the name damen? i don’t see that on the page. maybe it’s just distinguishing based on who’s perceiving him? i don’t know it’s fine i don’t need to understand every little detail (this is going to bother me until i find a coherent pattern or forget entirely)

One of the inn men came out with a lantern in his hand traversing the courtyard to tell Lamen that his room was prepared, second door to the right.

okay so i think it’s “lamen” when he’s interacting with the inn people, “damen” with his own people, and a mixture of both with charls and the merchant’s guild

He ascended the stairs. Without the lantern, there was quite a bit of unlit gloom,

He had exchanged his Akielon cotton for an oversized Veretian bed shirt, loose and trailing laces. And he had dragged all of the bedding from the small Akielon-style bed and heaped it in front of the fire, even dragging the clean mattress down to join the smaller pallet there.

didn’t they do something similar with the fireplace in the nesson inn scene? i get that we’re getting a lot of parallels and it’s great

Damen looked at the bedding, and said, carefully, ‘The innsman sent me here.’

“carefully” he’s like “uhhhh i don’t want to be presumptive but am i about to get laid”

‘At my instruction,’ said Laurent.

“yes. yes you are about to get laid."

Damen felt his heart begin to pound, even as he held himself still and tried not to make any dangerous assumptions.

damen i can read you like a book (literally)

Laurent said, ‘It’s our last chance for a real bed before the Kingsmeet.’

this is brutal, knowing that laurent almost certainly intends to turn himself in at this point :(

‘I need to bathe.’ He said it into Laurent’s ear, let his lips find the sensitive skin just behind it. They were kissing again, deep, heated kisses. ‘So go and bathe.’ He found himself pushed backwards, looking at Laurent across a stretch of space. Leaned against the wall, Laurent indicated to the small wooden door with his chin. His pale brows arched. ‘Or do you expect me to attend you?’

unlike previous sex scenes, they’re actually taking a breather and considering it beforehand. making the conditions how they both actually want them to be. i like that a lot, as opposed to the last sex scene, where it was all very sudden and impulsive. my guess is that i will love this scene for the reasons i disliked the last—they represent the two different ways damen and laurent respectively experience and prefer to express desire. damen’s is overwhelming and raw and primal (“you like it simple”), while laurent’s well-considered and gradual and within his own control. i think it’s very clear which my preference is, and i do stand by the suggestion that the last scene wasn’t as Good as damen felt like it was—but i also acknowledge that i’m just more on the laurentian side of things, and part of a relationship is indulging things that your partner desires that might not be your exact preference. in chapter 12, laurent is indulging damen. in this chapter, damen is more indulging laurent.

The evidence of planning was in fact very like Laurent, though Damen had never experienced it from him quite in this context before.

congrats buddy, you’re about to

(also i love and am saddened by the idea of laurent having a list of things he’d like to do with damen before turning himself in, and just kind of methodically assembling the circumstances to make sure he can experience it all)

Laurent didn’t follow him in, but left him to wash, a utilitarian task.

damen’s bath trauma is definitely an ongoing thing, and i like how we’re seeing how it can slowly heal. we’ve gone from Very Bad associations to Neutral associations—utilitarianism. eventually we’ll get to Good, but there’s still a way to go.

Here, too, was evidence of planning, and he could see it now for what it was: the lit candles, the joint bedding, and Laurent himself, clean and dressed in a bed shirt.

He thought of Laurent, waiting for him expectantly. It was charming, because it was clear that Laurent was unsure exactly what to do, yet, typically, had acted to take control of everything.

it better be charming or else i’m personally screwed. who said that

‘First time to entertain a lover?’ Just saying the word made him flush, and he saw Laurent flush too.

cheesy ass line

Laurent said, ‘Are you bathed?’ ‘Yes,’ said Damen. Laurent was standing on the other side of the room, near the stripped-down bed. He looked tense in the flame light, a nervy steeling of himself. Laurent said, ‘Take a step back.’

i like how we’re subtly seeing that laurent has been identifying the reasons that doing this specific sex act makes him anxious, and actively seeking to create circumstances where he can feel safe. he wants damen to be clean. he wants to be the one giving verbal instructions. he does not want to be touched. verbalizing those things makes it slightly less overwhelming, and allows him to consciously experience this, rather than just saying “i don’t care, do whatever you want.” and that’s amazing.

‘Take off the towel,’ said Laurent.

dead girl walking…

Virgins and the inexperienced tended to get nervous, which he enjoyed as a challenge to be overcome, hesitancy turned into eagerness and pleasure. It pleased some deep part of him to see in Laurent the flickering of a similar reaction. Laurent eventually lifted his gaze from the place where it had, instinctively, dropped. He let Laurent see him, see his nakedness was on display, the strident fact of his arousal. The flames in the stone hearth were too loud as they consumed the young cut wood. ‘Don’t touch me,’ said Laurent. And dropped to his knees on the floor of the inn.

god this is SO fucking good. laurent puts himself face-to-face with a source of trauma and abuse, sets his boundaries so he can feel safe, and decides to challenge that trauma head-on (PUN NOT INTENDED)

(slightly related, i just recently wrote my first earnest sex scene ever in a self-insert fic for another fandom and it is a LOT like this one. which is funny, bc that wasn’t really was i was trying to do, but i guess it rubbed off on me when i read it back in may. and i’m a lot like laurent, soooooooo)

oh also, damen’s perception of laurent being a cute nervous virgin, when in reality he’s like fighting demons with his bare hands, is yknow. more of the same stuff i comment on, where it’s good that he doesn’t see laurent as a victim but also lacks the understanding that we have and it’s paradoxically frustrating and nice

Damen’s pulse escalated wildly, even as he tried rather desperately not to presume that any other action would necessarily follow from this one.

yeah damen he’s definitely on his knees to rearrange the rug

(it’s nice that he’s trying to show restraint, especially after the last scene. not that he did anything WRONG last time, but he seems to be noticing that this is something laurent wants and needs to control)

Laurent was going to do it. When you see a panther opening its jaws you don’t get your dick out.

i listened to an interview with cs pacat where she was commenting on the way people always portray giving head or being penetrated as an inherently demeaning activity, like it’s always showing that the person doing it is weak, but she pushes back like uhhhh no. when you see a panther opening its jaws you don’t get your dick out

also telling is that one of laurent’s first (and arguably most memorable) acts of dominance over damen was forcing him to have someone else give him head, which very much made him the weaker and demeaned person in the situation, even if damen ultimately kinda just shrugged it off bc he was already so casual about sex before meeting laurent and also like. had sex slaves

The idea of the frigid Prince of Vere sucking his cock was impossible.

was

Laurent’s eyes were very dark, his chest rising and falling with shallow breaths, clearly struggling with something, as he leant in again.

i am very grateful that laurent exists as a character and is written the way he is

He hadn’t imagined it like this. He knew Laurent’s mouth, knew its vicious capability. He knew it as Laurent’s primary weapon. In his daily life, Laurent held his lips taut, repressing their lush shape into a hard line, his mouth cruel curves. Damen had seen Laurent eviscerate people with that mouth. Now Laurent’s lips were given over to pleasure, his words traded for Damen’s cock.

this is one of my favorite lines/paragraphs in the entire series. definitely the best one related to eroticism. it’s so much more rewarding for damen to have laurent, who he genuinely respects for his brilliance and sharp tongue, willingly and mindfully taking him despite his anxieties out of desire and determination, than for a slave with no personality to do what they’ve been groomed to do, or someone damen only shallowly understands like jokaste to basically use him for social clout. it’s also more rewarding to me personally as a reader for this to happen, as opposed to laurent just being like “i don’t care, do what you want” with very little mindfulness or control and damen just taking him like that, which is what happened in chapter 12. ultimately i think it’s more of a matter of taste and personal preference, which of those situations a reader prefers. both make sense for the characters they feature in control, and tell us useful things in understanding who they are and how they feel.

It was clear that Laurent didn’t know how to process the fact that he was turned on, and that part of his wariness was that he was uncertain what was next, one of the strange gaps in his experience that Damen couldn’t predict.

fuck… that’s so sad. but a really good detail and i’m glad it’s there.

In the dim light, Laurent said, ‘A fair exchange, is it?’ ‘I don’t know. What do you want?’

i’m trying to figure out what exactly this means. is laurent asking for something in return, as a way to minimize his own vulnerability here? what does the “i don’t know” mean, then? it almost sounds like laurent is referring to some previous conversation between them. ughhh i feel lazy. is it just bc damen gave laurent head in a previous scene? laurent being aware that he gives really good head (because [redacted]), basically teasing damen that he (laurent) gives better head and they both know it, and therefore a true fair exchange would include damen giving him a little extra? and damen teasingly being like “mayyybbbeeee, depends on what you want ;)”

‘Show me,’ said Laurent, ‘how it could be.’

damen understands this as “how it could be if we were together as we’ve fantasized about, without any of the war shit and courting conventionally”

laurent means that, but also, “how it could be if i’m not being assaulted or dissociating. because with what i’m about to do—turning myself in to be killed—i’m never gonna have it”

‘I would court you,’ said Damen, ‘with all the grace and courtesy that you deserve.’ He undid the first lace on Laurent’s shirt, and the fabric began to open, a glimpse of the hollow of his throat. Laurent’s lips were parted, his breath hardly stirring. Damen said, ‘There’d be no lies between us.’ He opened the second lace, felt the low throb of his own pulse, the warmth of Laurent’s skin as his fingers moved to the third. ‘We’d have time,’ Damen said, ‘to be together.’ And in the warm flame light, he lifted his hand and cupped Laurent’s cheek, and then leaned in, and kissed him on the lips, gently.

figuratively and literally undressing him. also this is so hot. anyway

He felt Laurent’s shock, as though he had not expected to be kissed after what he had just done.

stopppp

The way Laurent kissed was nothing like the way he did anything else. It was simple and without artifice, as if kissing were serious.

this scene is interesting, because it’s kind of written like they haven’t done stuff like kissing and intimacy together before. is it kind of an indication that damen subconsciously recognizes that this is the first laurent has allowed himself to be fully present? bc i think that is what’s happening here

The kiss deepened at Laurent’s bidding.

“at laurent’s bidding” let’s fucking gooooooo. man who has struggled to prove he’s in control of a world that hates him for 2.5 books has been willingly given control by someone who deeply respects and cares for him, who has said that he trusts him to treat him well

the sort of proprietary touch he wouldn’t have dreamed of before tonight, and still half expected Laurent to kill him for. Laurent made a small sound of encouragement, breaking off the kiss for a moment and closing his eyes, all his attention on Damen’s touch.

yeah this works for me. lol. in chapter 12 it’s like, there damen was getting off on laurent’s lack of control or mindfulness, the fact that his defenses had just completely fallen and he was being “honest,” so much so that he almost acted like a slave. but here, laurent is mindful about his choice to make himself vulnerable, and damen both sees and respects him for the complex and snippy and very un-slavelike person he is. the amazing thing here is that laurent isn’t pushing back or away, but he’s also not dissociating or pretending to be someone or something he isn’t—in fact, he’s pushing himself to be there despite his hesitation, and trusting damen to treat him well.

‘You like it slow.’ He dipped his head near Laurent’s ear. ‘Yes.’

I FUCKING KNEW “YOU LIKE IT SIMPLE” WAS GOING TO CONTINUE TO BE RELEVANT

do i even need to spell it out, how that line so perfectly works with "you like it slow"? holy fucking shit.

Laurent’s overfine skin was more sensitive than his own, though during the day Laurent ruthlessly strapped himself into the most severe clothing possible. He wondered if Laurent repressed sensation for the same reason that he struggled to admit it now, his jaw taut.

i love this little observation, wow. laurent represses feelings because he tends to experience them more deeply or sensitively than other people. this means that when he protects himself from harm, he’s also protecting himself from pleasure—because to laurent, as a victim of sexual abuse especially, pleasure and harm come hand-in-hand. we get to see damen figure this out on the page, even without the context of the regent, and accurately suspects that laurent’s “struggle to admit it” runs deeper than just being a flustered virgin, which is what he had previously assumed.

It was Laurent who pushed him down onto the bedding. Laurent’s hands were on him. Laurent touched him as if to learn the shape and feel of his body, as if to catalogue every part of him and commit it to memory.

HMMM I WONDER WHY HE’S TRYING TO CATALOGUE AND MEMORIZE HERE

Laurent broke off, and appeared to have come to a decision, his breathing quickened but controlled. ‘Make me come,’ he said, and placed Damen’s hand between his legs.

checking another thing off the bucket list! i feel like laurent had almost an intimacy contingency plan here: if i do a and still feel comfortable and present, then i’ll try to do b. and then c, if i haven’t been overstimulated or triggered yet. all the way down the list

‘Like that?’ No. Slower.

remember when laurent gave very similar directions to ancel as he gave damen head back in book 1?

“You’re more likely to win a game if you don’t play your whole hand at once,’ said Laurent. ‘Start more slowly.”

turns out the key to pleasuring laurent really was hidden in plain sight the entire time ;) it is the game he likes, after all

His own body’s renewed interest had grown from lazy arousal to primed, heavy; ready to mount, even as he put it aside to watch Laurent attempt to let his guard down.

“ready to mount” damen don’t be cringe

He felt the repression when it came, the hard restraint that Laurent exerted over his body, his stomach clenching, a muscle moving in his jaw. He knew what it signalled. Damen didn’t stop moving his hand.

so he didn’t come? am i reading that right?

‘Don’t like to come?’ ‘Is that a problem?’ His breathing shallow, Laurent didn’t quite manage the approximation of his usual tone. ‘Not for me. I’ll tell you how it was when I’m done.’

damen: you seem to be having a weird time with this (teasing to ease the intensity of whatever dark shit is going on in laurent’s head) laurent: is the matter of how one does or does not come a problem damen: not for me, i come all the time and i’m awesome at it. how about we come together and compare our experiences

they’re ridiculous. i love them

Laurent swore, once, succinctly,

he took Laurent in his hand and said, ‘Come on, then.’ It felt ridiculously daring to tell Laurent in any respect what to do. The first thrust against him was deliberate, a push of heat into his hand. Laurent’s eyes were on his. He could feel that it was new for Laurent to do this, just as it was new for him to feel like he was receiving it. He wondered if Laurent had ever fucked anyone in earnest, and he realised with a jolt of shock that Laurent hadn’t. The flood of heat that came at that wasn’t comfortable. And then like Laurent he was suddenly somewhere he had never been.

cool way for the playing field to be evened between them—the idea of bottoming makes damen feel similarly confused and inexperienced but undeniably aroused to laurent in like most sexual situations

‘I’ve,’ said Damen, ‘never—’ ‘Nor have I,’ said Laurent. ‘You’d be my first.’

damen jots that down for later (laurent doesn’t think there’s going to be a later)

Laurent said, ‘I thought that in Akielos, a First Night was special.’ ‘For a slave it is,’ said Damen. ‘For a slave it means everything.’

“you like it simple”

damen has realized there is so much more to loving a real person than the simplicity of having semi-ritualistic sex with slaves groomed to only care about his pleasure and not their own, for whom the pinnacle of existence is getting fucked. laurent has a lot more going on than just his sexuality, and so does damen. and they truly know and love each other, and demonstrate that in ways that aren't just sexual.

for a slave, this means everything—everything in the absence of any other purpose, because slaves aren’t allowed to have any other purpose. for a person with purpose beyond sex, this means SOMETHING. and it’s something they’ve actually chosen to care about and pursue, because they want it without having to be groomed. and that’s why free will is sexy.

Climax hit even though they were not inside each other’s bodies, but joined together, one.

it’s dangerous to come alone

He felt Laurent shifting, too soon. ‘I’ll get—’

i like how his trauma responses don’t like magically disappear once he lets himself get off. in fact were are reminded of them immediately

He knew that Laurent was fastidious after lovemaking, and he liked that he knew it, liked that he was learning Laurent’s idiosyncracies. Laurent paused, touching his fingers to the wooden edge of the table and just breathing in the dim light. Laurent’s post-coital habits were also an excuse, covering a need to take a moment to himself, and Damen knew that, too.

He sipped from the shallow cup that Laurent provided, and poured water for Laurent in turn, which Laurent didn’t seem to expect.

too easy to point out the metaphor there

Damen stretched out comfortably, and waited for Laurent to do the same. That took minutes longer than it would have with any other lover.

he likes it slow!!

‘You’re still wearing it.’ He couldn’t help but say it. Laurent’s wrist was heavy with gold, like the colour of his hair in the firelight. ‘So are you.’ ‘Tell me why.’ ‘You know why,’ said Laurent.

i think this might be the closest thing we get to an “i love you”

‘There will be no Patran princess, or daughter of the Empire.’

THERE'S NOT GOING TO BE A PATRAN PRINCESS, YOU STUPID SLUT

‘It’s your duty to continue your line.’

damen is projecting. he’s realizing how much he wants to marry laurent and truly Have Him, but it’s in conflict with his obligation as king to create an heir. so i guess that’s also why we have plot device baby

He didn’t know why he said it.

don’t worry man we’ve got our people (me) on it

‘No. I’m the last. My line ends with me.’ Damen turned, to find Laurent was not looking back at him, but also had his eyes on some point in the dim light. Laurent’s voice was quiet. ‘I have never said that to anyone before.’

a few implications here. most likely perceived by damen: he’s ashamed of his bloodline and the bad people in it, including himself. probably intended by laurent: he’s not going to have a chance to continue the bloodline even if he wanted to, because he’s going to turn himself in and get killed

‘I’m glad you’re here,’ said Laurent. ‘I always thought that I’d have to face my uncle alone.’

i hate it here. just TALK TO HIM AND FIND ANOTHER SOLUTION (something laurent has been unwilling to do several times in this series, and each time it has been a mistake)

laurent has gotten so comfortable conferring with damen re: plans and strategy, as long as the goal is to protect other people. what makes this different is that the only person who will be “harmed” by this plan is laurent himself, and laurent doesn’t believe that he deserves to live, especially if his death means everyone else can win. strong vs weak stuff is still deeply internalized. he does not expect himself to be able to get out of this one by killing a guy with a chair—he’s walking into the situation knowing the regent is stronger, and the best he can do is pave the way for damen to exercise his own strength in opposition

‘You’re not alone,’ said Damen. Laurent didn’t answer, but he did give a smile, and reached out to touch Damen, wordlessly.

yet

it is interesting how we went from laurent keeping secrets from damen in order to punish him and limit the amount of intimacy and care they can show each other, to laurent keeping secrets from damen in order to save him and relishing every second of intimacy and care they have left

Charls’s wagon train lent them respectability

literally an influencer

When the days got too hot, they retreated to inns and wayhouses, and once a large farmhouse where they ate bread, hard cheese and figs, and Akielon sweets of honey and nuts that attracted wasps in the sticky heat.

do you think akielos also has slaves to provide fine goods and foods for the ruling class? is it just a sex thing?

‘So you ministered to his household.’ ‘And to his boys,’ said Paschal. Damen said nothing.

i think damen definitely suspects [redacted] deep down, maybe he thinks laurent would have told him already if it were true?

‘I see that you used to be a slave, and that Charls has freed you,’ Guilliame said to him, as they prepared to part ways. Guilliame spoke very earnestly. ‘I want you to know that Charls and I have never traded in slaves.’ Damen looked out at the weird beauty of the gnarled landscape. He heard himself say, ‘Damianos will end slavery when he becomes King.’

LET’S FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Nikandros was looking at Laurent. ‘He’s very—’ ‘You get used to it,’ said Damen, with a little wellspring of joy inside him, because that wasn’t really true.

AWWWWWW this is a love confession too

And that was strange. To be here, so close to the end of his own plans. So close to the end, really, of everything.

oh my god laurentttt

To be where he’d never dreamed he would be, and to know that by morning, this would be finished, or at least, his part in it.

STOP

Then, because there should be no witnesses to this, he dismissed the guards. All bad things were done in the dark.

Jokaste watched all of this happen and didn’t flinch from it, nor did she scream or plead for help, as he had thought she would not.

i really like “as he had thought she would not”

He said, ‘I think it’s Kastor’s child.’ Jokaste didn’t answer him, and there was a silence in which her gaze was on him. Laurent regarded her in turn. Around them, the camp stayed quiet, no sounds except for the breeze and the night. ‘I think you saw it clearly, in those twilight days in Akielos. The end was coming, and Damianos wouldn’t listen to anyone. The only way to save his life was to persuade Kastor to send him as a slave to Vere. To do that you had to be in Kastor’s bed.’

is laurent accusing her of loving damen and trying to save him, in a very manipulative and roundabout way? because that is what he’s doing right now. which is neat. i like these two together

It gave something away. And she was angry about it, and for the first time she was afraid. He said, ‘I think it’s Kastor’s child, because I don’t think you would use Damen’s child against him.’

“because you love him. i know this, because i’m just like you and i love him”

‘You mean, the only difference between us is that I chose the wrong brother?’ As the stars began to drift across the sky, Laurent thought about Nicaise, standing in the courtyard with a handful of sapphires. ‘I don’t think you chose,’ said Laurent.

WOAH okay gotta unpack that. is laurent thinking of nicaise in regards to what he (laurent) didn’t and couldn’t do to save him? at this time where he’s doing something to save people he cares about? or is he comparing jokaste to nicaise, in that they both had to fraternize with nobility in a way that was technically their “choice” but very much informed by money and society? or is he comparing the baby that he’s giving himself up to save to nicaise, that’s why he cares so deeply about saving it, and he has no choice? none of these feel quite right.

“nicaise in the courtyard with a handful of sapphires” i forget what exactly this refers to. is it when nicaise is about to warn laurent, and fails to? is that the last time laurent saw him alive? is he likening nicaise’s lack of autonomy in the situation with the regent, and the efforts he took to help laurent despite it, to jokaste telling kastor to spare damen? these imperfect attempts at helping others within a situation that robs a person of their control, which an observer could identify as stupid or useless? just like what laurent is doing right now?? yeah. i think that might be it

#capri #captive prince #kings rising #laurent of vere #damen of akielos #lamen #charls the cloth merchant #sam reads capri

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