#Changsub soft hour

[kpopjust4u]

I’m always here

Post Date: 10th March 2023 Content: Fluff - BtoB Changsub x GN!Reader WC: 1K TW?: Colleagues/ Coworker!Changsub/ Two curse words Request?: Yes

Masterlist                                    Prompt list

Prompts: 8 - “Did you mean to say that?” 17 - “I care for you” 45 - “Please don’t cry”

Just another day in the office, another day where you're ready to slam your head against your desk.

It wasn't that you hated the job itself, the pay was pretty decent, and you got on with your colleagues, but the customers you have to deal with over the phone regularly test your patience. No matter how hard you try to be polite and patient with them, they push every button.

"Please bare with me, I am only trying to help you." You sigh down the phone at the customer screaming at you down the other end, in fact bursting your eardrum with how loud they are.  

Opposite you, your coworker, Changsub, looks at you with worry plastering his face, watching how your eyes well up with tears. You massage your temple as you try to get a word in but the customer on the phone doesn't give you a chance to even open your mouth.

"I'm sorry. I'll transfer you to another person who'll be able to help you better." You manage to get out, nodding at another coworker from across the room who picks up their phone, taken back by the rage they receive.

"Y/N..." Changsub calls out in a whisper, but you're in your own head, unable to hear him with your hands covering your ears as your head hands low, looking at the keyboard beneath you. Holding back the tears that sting the corners of your eyes.

Shifting from behind his own desk, he moves to your side, kneeling beside you. "Y/N. Let's go take your lunch break." He smiles at you, takes your hand and pulls you away from your desk.

The best thing about working with Changsub was the fact that he's best friends with the manager and owner of the place, and puts them in their rightful place when they try to debate about mental health in the workplace. Thanks to him, if anyone gets stressed and needs five minutes, they wouldn't be scolded for it.

This has made the workplace much easier to cope with, and nicer to be in with everyone understanding that someone may just need a minute to collect themselves before going back to work.

Mainly more you than anyone else does Changsub actually cares for. He couldn't help it. Though he knows you only see him as a coworker and a friend at best, he couldn't help but have feelings for you. He knows he's out of your league so he doesn't try.

Gently nudging you into the break room, he closes the door behind him, letting you take a seat across the room, arms folded in front of your chest as you try to keep a steady breath. To stop the tears from escaping.

"Customer's are pains in the arse today, huh?" He lightly scoffs, handing you a freshly made cup of coffee that you grab off him, smiling up at him as a gesture of gratefulness.

"Could say that again. He didn't want to listen to me..." You shrug, thinking it's best to put up a wall against how you actually felt, not to add your own issues to Changsub's own struggles, "Maybe I'm not fit for this job at all, I can't handle the customers."

Changsub takes a seat next to you, shaking his head and placing a gentle hand over yours, "Don't say that, Y/N. You're one of the best, hard-working people here."

You briefly look at him, forcing a smile and shrug. You want to believe that what he's said is true but you honestly feel as though you'd be better off somewhere else.

At this point, you can't help but let the tears fall, unable to hold them back as you break down, placing the coffee on the table so you could hide your face behind your hands, apologising to Changsub for crying.

"Please don't cry. The customer's aren't worth the tears, don't let them hurt you and the beautiful soul you have..." He softly coos at you, pulling you into his light grasp, an arm around your shoulder as you bury your face in his arm, "Honestly, you're one of the reasons why we're still in business."

"I'm not. You are." You quip back with a little giggle, looking up at him as you go to try and wipe a tear off your cheek, but he beats you to it. Face soft with a gentle, reassuring smile.

He couldn't help but laugh at your comment, shrugging, "Okay, maybe if I didn't put my foot down to make sure people actually got to have a quick break to calm themselves down from dealing with assholes over the phone then maybe we wouldn't be in business." He replies back, exaggerating the word 'maybe'.

"But I care about you more than anyone else, Y/N. We'd be lost without you here. I'd be lost without you here." He shyly adds, watching your face contort with confusion at his words.

Choking on yours, you flutter your eyes at him, mouth opening to go to say something but nothing comes out, yet again but for another reason.

"Did- Did you mean to say that?" You stutter, watching the blush appear on his face, stuttering himself as he unconsciously takes your hand into his, caressing the back of it with his thumb. 

“Yeah, I guess I did.” He replies quietly, unable to keep eye contact with you as he looks at your hands, watching how your body moves closer to him, head resting in the crook of his neck. 

Feeling the warmth of your body pressed against his, his arm wraps around your shoulder, pulling you in for a tighter hug, gently resting his cheek on your head.

"Are you feeling better now? You ready to go back?" He asks, scoffing to clear his throat first before helping you up to your feet even though you were more than capable.

Nodding at him lightly, you smile at him, taking back his hand that disappears from yours, pulling him back towards you before he could take another step towards the door.

"I never got to say thank you..." You shyly fidget on the spot, pulling his hand back around you, but this time your waist, "Thank you."

"Seriously it's no-" He tries to speak, stunned when your lips press against his cheek, lightly pecking it before leaving the room, smiling and giggling.

"Come on, you have work to do." You lean back around the door for him, smiling with the brightest smile ever, his favourite smile in the world.

~

Tags: @scuzmunkie, @ateezreactionsandscenarios, @trashlord-007, @fanfictrashlord-007, @icyllic​

[syaira]

ig: @btobpeniel

💙

[jimlingss]

Jungle Park [16]

Chapter 15 - Chapter 16 - Chapter 17

➜ Words: 5.4k

➜ Genres: Fluff, Light Humour (?), Slice of Life, Workplace Romance!AU

➜ Summary: The equation is simple. Hoseok needs to hire someone. You need a job. Except like any actual equation, it’s not fucking simple at all! Not when you have to add the fact that he was forced to hire someone he doesn’t want in his office, he has little respect for your job in general, and oh yeah...once upon a time you might have—*CENSORED*.

The invitation came by email.   Your first thought was to refuse and you had even begun typing up an apology. But before you could write the second line, someone else had sent you a message. It was like she had a sixth sense and maybe she did because she asked if you were going to come. Then she guilt tripped you that it’s been so long, tried to convince you that it would be fun, do everything in her power to persuade you otherwise, as if she was part of a pyramid scheme and was trying to get you to join.   Hani has always been fearfully persuasive and that’s how you find yourself dragging your feet towards Hoseok’s office.   You knock three times and there’s a muffled— “What.”   “It’s me.” The door cracks open and at the sound of your voice, Hoseok puts down his pen and looks up at you.   The corner of his lips pull into a smile, scowl disappearing. “Oh, Y/N.”   “Are you busy? I can come back…”   “No, it’s fine.” His smile widens while you step into his office. “What do you need?”   “No, um, it’s just, I know we’re supposed to come in this weekend.”   “Oh, that doesn’t really apply to you.” Hoseok’s hands are clasped and you begin to break a sweat by how he gives you his full attention and his stare is more intense than usual. “You don’t need to come in.”   “Oh...okay…”   “Why? What was the matter?”   “No...” It’s excruciating how much you’re beating around the bush, but you don’t really want to spill what’s going on. Still, you decide to say it rather than making it sound more suspicious. “There’s this stupid reunion thing I was invited to. It’s on the weekend and I was thinking of going.”   “A reunion?”   “Yeah, to celebrate eleven years.” Your head lolls to your shoulder and you ramble on, not making a big deal out of it. “Apparently, they were supposed to have one for ten years, but it got delayed. It’s kind of dumb but…”   “I don’t think I received an invitation,” Hoseok suddenly comments, quirking his head to one side as well. His brows knit together and he inhales a sharp breath. “We went to the same university for our undergraduate, right?”   “Yeah, uh, everyone sort of lost contact with you after you left for law school. No one knows how to contact you even if they wanted to…” Like you, many of the others had no clue that he opened up his own firm.    “Huh.” He nods and then resumes his work, typing on his computer and casting you a mere glance when you’re still standing there. “Well, have fun and make sure you’re back on Monday.”   “Sounds good.” Your feet linger for a moment, body not listening to your brain. But eventually, you get a grip on yourself and step out of his office.   A school reunion trip would be expensive — luckily, your efforts of driving the taxi for twenty nights in a month was paying off….literally. You had quite a bit of savings, enough to pack your bags for a weekend trip. In all honesty, as nervous as you were to be seeing old faces again, you were also excited. It’s been a long time since you’ve seen Taeyeon, Hani, and the others. They would argue it’s been too long.   Everyone has gone their separate ways, abroad for work or busy in their families and with their children. You were especially distant from them after you moved all those years ago. But it would be nice to see them again, to mend back old friendships and remind yourself that you aren’t alone.   And it turns out that it only takes two buses and one train ride, a total of six hours and twenty minutes, to reconnect with old friends. It’s not as difficult as you thought it would be. You’re out of the city in the blink of an eye, at the one next door, waiting at the station for your ride.   As you check your phone for the fifth time, you’re startled when there’s a loud honk. Someone’s pulling in with their maroon car and you immediately recognize the girl in the driver seat. She rolls down the window and tugs her sunglasses to the bridge of her nose, peering above the frames at you.   “Hey, loser! Get in! We’re going shopping!”   You grin at her reference, dragging your luggage over and throwing it in the backseat. “Some things never change, do they?”   “Get over here.” Before you can even fully situate yourself in the passenger seat, she’s already leaning over the console to hug you, making laughter bubble from your chest. She really hasn’t changed one bit, from being extroverted and charming. Her long black hair is unchanging, features that seem sharper than they did years ago, cat-like eyes that are intimidating and cute when she smiles. She’s in shorts and a simple tee-shirt, summer-like attire in the chilly weather. “Ugh, I missed your ass so much.”   You squeeze her back, savouring the hug that reminds you too much of another embrace that felt like eons ago. “Missed you too.”   “Taeyeon’s staying with us in the hotel.” Hani shifts the gear and pulls away from the curb. “She’s there, still freaking out about leaving the kids with her husband.”   You smile at the thought and look at her. “How are you?”   “Good. Same old, pretty much. Work is tiring, but I really like it. I’ve been working on a project for the later half of this year and it’s almost finished, so I got that going for me. How are you?”   “Things are good for me too.”   “Where have you been working?”   “Oh, I’m an HR rep for a law firm,” you explain in a boring tone, not wanting to discuss it too much. “I like it a lot.”   “Oh my god! That’s so great, Y/N!” There’s a red light and Hani glances at you with a beaming smile, remembering you telling her that you were having trouble finding a job a few months ago. “I’m so glad you found a good place.”   “Thanks.”   “Have you been seeing anyone?”   “No, not really. Just...haven’t found the time.” You move on, changing the subject. “How’s Daehwi?”   A long sigh leaves from her pink lips. “An idiot as usual, but what’s new?”   Your cheeks ache from your grin. “Has he popped the question yet?”   “He said he was going to do it before my birthday, so I guess we’ll see what happens.”   “That’s amazing.” And you really mean it. Rather than feeling envious, you feel happy and proud for your friends. Most of them have their lives together and it’s nice to see them progress, even when you feel like you’ve been stagnant, stuck at a standstill for so long. “You guys are great together.”   “Yeah...I really do love that idiot.” A soft smile appears on her visage as she admits it. “If we get married, we’ll probably have kids soon after. We already talked about it and my eggs are dying, you know? And my nieces are just too cute. They always give me baby fever. But Daehwi wants it more than I do.” She laughs and you notice how her skin is practically glowing in bliss. “He wants five kids and a set of twins or something and I told him there was no way I was going to give birth to an entire football team for him.”   Another laugh streams from your chest. “Sounds like Daehwi.”   Hani hums and nods. “But things have been okay for you?”   “Yeah. I’m pretty happy these days and I really enjoy my work.”   Hani takes a glance at you. “I’m glad, Y/N.”   Once you arrive at the hotel room, you can already hear Taeyeon face-timing her husband. She gives you the biggest bear hug imaginable and you say hello to her toddler and five-year old, making you a bit sad when they don’t remember you at all. But it’s good to be back and even better to meet up with friends that make you feel as if time created no distance at all.   “Do you know who else is coming?”   “I think most people are.” Hani momentary pauses scrolling through her phone and shrugs. “I checked the facebook page and a lot of them said yes. Probably because the university’s paying for a lot of the expenses.”   Daehwi, who’s cuddling your best friend, smiles. “Our alumni is so nice.”   Taeyeon scoffs. “More like we’re their backdrop so they can take a thousand photos and post them to their website and promote their institution. They’ve been pushing to reel in younger, naive kids and rob them of their money before giving them a piece of paper that says good job.”   You grin as another thought flickers in your mind. “Is Changsub coming?”   “He’s coming tomorrow morning.” The strawberry blonde female falls down onto the soft sofa, lounging on it. “He booked it last minute. I think he’s still on the plane right now.”   “I can’t remember the last time we all met up,” Daehwi notes, looking out the glass window towards the city and feeling sentimental about the moment. “We’re only missing one person now.” Hani shoulder checks him and the male lets out a painful, “Ow! What! Can I not talk about Hoseok?”   “It’s fine, you guys,” you placate both Hani and Taeyeon when they look at you in concern. “It’s not a big deal...I actually….talked to him recently.”   Hani blinks with her wide eyes. “You did?!”   “You did?!” Taeyeon repeats after her like a parrot, both of friends stunned.   “Yeah...it’s...uh..complicated, but we’re good.” There’s a long silence, all three people staring at you, and you divert your eyes out the window. “So, what time is the official reunion tomorrow?”   //   The rest of the day is spent eating and catching up. Taeyeon talks about her kids, what giving birth is like and simultaneously putting the fear into Hani and Daehwi as they listen and you laugh at their expressions. The pair of them also talk about their traveling adventures, what countries they’ve visited recently and are planning to visit in the future. There’s not much that’s changed for you, so you only discuss your job and what you kind of do day to day.   All four of you play uno like back then, gossiping about acquaintances while having a few drinks in the hotel room but nothing to get wasted on, only slightly tipsy. You can’t remember the last time you had such a good time. By morning, everybody wakes up a bit later in the day, grabbing brunch before getting ready to go. You pick out a dark blue modest dress to wear, sharing the bathroom alongside Hani who worries about her makeup and Taeyeon who does her hair. It reminds you of years ago when you used to dress up to go clubbing or out to the bar. It’s nostalgic and you feel young again, even when you’re sure age has made its mark on you.   “You know, it would’ve made a lot more sense to have our reunion on campus and not at a hotel conference hall,” Hani points out while sipping on a glass of champagne, looking around at the place lit by chandeliers.   You smile. “Now that I think about it, you’re right.”   Taeyeon shakes her head, staring at the intricate patterns of the velvet carpet. “I don’t know about you, but I’d rather be at a fancy hotel than a shitty gymnasium on our shitty campus.”   “Okay, touché.”   “They have an after-party there,” Daehwi pipes up. “It’s pretty close. We should go.”   “I don’t understand why there’s an after-party for the reunion.”   “Different backgrounds create different pictures to put on their website,” Taeyeon tells Hani while she rolls her eyes in disapproval.   You quip to the both of them while lingering at the back of the hall, “That’s a crazy conspiracy.”   “Oh my god. Jiyong! Jiyong!” Daehwi puts down his drink, running off towards another man who yells out his name as well without looking back. They fist bump each other before going on a talking barrage to catch up and Hani appears even more exhausted than before, letting out a huge sigh.   “Dear lord, if I have to talk to all of his frat members, I’m going to need another five hundred drinks.”   The blonde beside her laughs. “Well, you should get ready because I think I see Seungri.”   “Taeyeon.” Another female has stopped in front of you three. She’s staring straight at your friend, ogling at her from head to toe. “Is that you?!”   “Oh my gosh. Minzy?” Taeyeon hands her glass of champagne to you, walking off. “It’s been forever!”   “I know!” she shrieks in excitement.   In the giant hall, you recognize many and once in a while, they stop to make small talk with you. It’s easy to get whiplash at all the familiar faces. You’re brought back to a decade ago, and an odd feeling begins to plague you. It’s as if all the regrets you had in the past fix themselves into place again, that the people you had forgotten about and that were so far away, are now in your reach.   Eventually, you become overwhelmed and fade into the background. You hang around in the back, taking in all the decorations, the old photos, the surrounding people. Hani tells you that she’s going to the washroom and you nod, keeping an eye on her drink while sipping on yours. It awakens your memories of house parties where you were more of a wallflower than the life of the party, where you spent your time observing behaviour and actions, where it was much quieter.   “Man...how do I not recognize anyone?”   You nearly spit out your drink, but you end up choking instead. You’re hacking your lungs out unattractively, coughing and beating your chest like a wild gorilla. Maybe you’re so delusional that you’re beginning to hear and see things because you swear to god…..Jung Hoseok is standing right beside you.   His head is tipped to one side, black hair left natural and unstyled, full bangs covering his forehead. He’s wearing sneakers, black jeans and a grey hoodie, too casual for an event like this. More importantly, he’s staring at you in amusement. It’s probably your imagination. You just miss him and your mind is coping….   But then he opens his mouth and talks.   “Y/N?”   “What are you doing here?!” Your mouth falls open comically, words spilling out in the harshest manner and you’re suddenly very, very worried. There are a million things that can go wrong in your life, but this situation was definitely in your current top ten. The corner of his mouth pulls and the lawyer rolls his shoulders. “Well, turns out you don’t need to be directly invited by someone. I checked the website and sure enough, I just had to sign up with my old student identification number to come.”   “Wh-wh...but why?”   Hoseok’s smile stays on his lips, but his brows furrow in confusion. “What do you mean why? I can’t come to my own school reunion?”   “Th-th-that’s not what I mean.” Your head shakes and your eyes do a quick sweep of your surroundings before settling on him again.   “You told me I lost contact with everyone when I went to law school, so I figured this would be a good time to reconnect with people. I didn’t expect to run into you so soon, though.” Jung Hoseok flashes the brightest of beaming grins, looking like the epitome of sunshine or someone from pleasantville. You begin envisioning throwing yourself against the wall hard enough where you could pass out and perhaps the ambulance would be called and you could escape this insanity.   You might be a little over-dramatic at the moment…..but the logical part of your brain disagrees.   This is perfectly rational.   “I—”   “Oh my god.” The interruption comes from your former best friend, Hani. Alongside her is Taeyeon who almost spills her new drink when she abruptly halts and her eyes grow wide at the sight beside you.   Your worst nightmare is beginning to unfold right in front of your eyes.   “Jung Hoseok?!”   The lawyer frowns, staring at both women and he takes a long second before recognition begins to settle in. “Uh...Heeyeon and...Kim Taeyeon...right?” He glances at you for approval, and you don’t say anything nor do you even cast a single glance of approval.   Taeyeon marches over and in five strides, she’s giving him a humongous hug. “Where have you been, bastard? I never thought I’d see you again.” In the meanwhile, Hani is boring her eyes into you as if asking if you’re okay, and you give a slight nod.   “I’ve been busy.” Hoseok’s memory starts to jog again. He only has a handful of memories, all of them vague and blurry like they’re from an old tape he’s watching back, but he feels at ease for at least remembering them….even if he doesn’t have a single memory of you.   “You didn’t even think to call, bitch?”   His lips tug into a slight heart shape, eyes crinkling. “...Sorry?”   Hani offers a more reserved and meek smile. She stands at a distance away, beside you. Her arms are crossed defensively, and she doesn’t spare any embraces or even a handshake. “It’s good to see you again, Jung.”   “Thanks, Heeyeon.”   Hani’s brow raises, wondering why he’s calling her by her legal name and not the nickname she goes by, but she brushes it off. “I see you’ve become acquainted with Y/N here. Maybe a bit too comfortable?”   “Well, I’m sure this is fine.” His smile becomes lopsided as he peeks at you. “It’s not during working hours.”   The female doesn’t quite understand, but she never once backs down. “Working hours or not, I think you should back off a bit. Have some human decency, Jung.”   “Hani!” You’re cringing to death, ready to be lowered into your grave with your toes curling. Your mind races, though you’re rendered too speechless to know what to say or know how to address the situation. If you wished you were invisible enough, maybe it’ll actually work.   “Is there a problem?” Hoseok is genuinely bewildered and baffled by her bizarre attitude, deciding to challenge the rude woman. “Or are you her boss too?”   Taeyeon repeats him, equally confused. “Too?”   “You didn’t tell them?” Hoseok shifts to you, trying to be caught up to speed. His head is already swirling with old memories slowly coming back to life. He wonders if you didn’t say you worked for him because it was somehow embarrassing to be working for someone you went to school with. But he knows you’re not the type to be shameful about such a trivial thing, especially when you loved your job so much.   “Tell us what?” Taeyeon asks, spinning around to soak in your exchange of expressions. Then, her eyes almost fall out from their sockets and her jaw drops to the carpet. “Wait. Don’t tell me. Holy shit. Oh my god. You’re back together?!”   “NO!” You shout, startling other folks and people turn around to shoot dirty looks. But you pay no mind, too preoccupied with nipping the crazy thought in the bud. “I work for Hoseok! At his firm!”   “You…” Hani gives you a skeptical look. “...you’re working for him?”   “Holy shit! Are my eyes seeing what they’re really seeing, right now? Or am I high?” From the noise, Daehwi had pulled away from the crowd of frat guys to see what the commotion was. Of course, now he was running towards you again, eyes pinned on Hoseok. “Dude! How’s it going?!”   Their handshake morphs into a fist bump. “Why are you talking like you’re a nineteen year old dumbass again?” Hani rolls her eyes, but doesn’t dwell when she’s more upset at the current situation. She informs her partner of the news, “Y/N’s working for Hoseok at his firm.”   “Wait. Really?”   “Why is that so surprising?” Hoseok inquires, still perplexed at all their reactions. “There’s nothing wrong with Y/N working for me. That doesn’t make her job any less important. She actually runs her own department as HR manager. And she’s exceptionally good at her job.”   “No, that’s not the issue. I’m just surprised, because—”   “Hoseok doesn’t remember!”   The shout echoes, straining your vocal cords, shocking your old friends. Everyone turns, necks craning over slowly like their bones are made from old mechanical rods. “What?”   The situation is getting out of control. You’re losing your grasp on what you want Hoseok to know. The mess is beginning to unravel and you’re doing everything in your power to spool it back together, keep it hidden, in the dark, where only you know, where you can feign ignorance and live your little happy life without having to confront the past.   Daehwi frowns. “What do you mean?”   Your heart cracks for the hundredth time.   And it’s because of Hoseok. Again.   “He just….doesn't remember.”   “Is there something going on here?” He asks right when Taeyeon was about to speak the same question, wholly puzzled at the circumstances. Their gazes are too intense for you to hold up by yourself. You’re barely holding it together and you’re too afraid you’ll begin to crack from the outside as well, let them see what you really feel, how damaged you are on the inside.   “Hoseok has memory problems,” you calmly say, spilling secrets even when it’s not your place to, “he was in a car accident.”   All three shift, waiting for his confirmation. He gives a single nod.   “Oh shit.” Daehwi’s eyebrows shoot up to his hairline. “That’s horrible.”   The blonde female steps closer to him. “What happened?”   “Hit a lamppost. Like seven years ago. But I don’t have any ‘memory issues’.” Hoseok quotes you before laying his eyes on your visage. He cocks an eyebrow before looking at everyone else. “Just have some spots where I can’t quite remember. Am I missing something here?”   “Nope.” You force a smile, talking past the lump in your throat. The urge to distance yourself from this is too overwhelming and you’re suddenly reminded of why you avoided reuniting yourself with old friends. It’s too painful, too messy to remember. Once again, you wish you were in Hoseok’s position where you didn’t know a thing. “The past is the past. Best to leave it behind. Anyways, you should probably get a drink. I can get you one.”   “I can get it myself.”   “No.” Your hands fly out, wanting him to stay where he is, wanting to get yourself away. At any moment now, you were going to break. “I insist, I insist.”   “Let me come with you,” Hani asserts and you decide having a good friend beside you would be the least of your troubles, so you let out an ‘alright’.   The two of you march through the crowd. The dark-haired female stares at your profile, her mouth opening, ready to fire out her many questions. But when you give a glance, she sighs and decides not to press on or pry. Hani doesn’t say anything, granting you mercy for the time being.   In the meanwhile, Daehwi and Hoseok catch up with one another. As time goes by and more small talk is made, the latter’s memory jogs, though it seems as if your existence has been deleted from his recollection completely. But he doesn’t dwell when his focus is on socializing.   “So, you’re a hot shot lawyer now?” The brunette grins. “Your sister always said that.”   “I don’t think I’m a hot shot or anything, far from it, but yeah, I run my own firm. It’s kind of small and it’s nothing much yet. Still a work in progress.”   “Damn, still, you’re probably filthy rich, dude. I’m jealous. Do you have a yacht?”   “No.” Hoseok laughs. “I don’t have a yacht.”   Taeyeon has an indignant expression. “Hoseok’s afraid of the ocean, remember?”   “Rightttt.”   The lawyer in question sulks slightly, not enjoying how his fears are being broadcasted aloud. “I’m only afraid when I can’t see the bottom.”   “So he’s afraid of the entire ocean then,” Taeyeon reiterates with a laugh.   “Guess so.” Daehwi teases the man and smiles with his teeth. He pats his friend on the shoulder. “It’s good to have you back, Hope. Now we’re just waiting for one more person before we have the whole gang back together.”   “Speaking of the devil…” Taeyeon motions with her chin and both males whirl around.   “Yeon! Dae!” Changsub is walking towards them, dragging his feet over as he exhales in exhaustion. “God, my plane got delayed and I literally just got here and threw my luggage upstairs. I’m so tired! My sleeping schedule is going to be so fucked. It’s supposed to be midnight right now. I swear—….”   “Hey.”   Hoseok gives a polite wave, smiling, and the guy has his eyes plastered all over him, starstruck, like he’s looking at a celebrity. Changsub blinks hard, appearing comical as he does so. “Jung fucking Hoseok?!”   Daehwi chuckles. “Trust me, I didn’t believe it either.”   “Dude!” Changsub gives him the most gripping hug, arms cradling his entire frame. “What the fucking hell are you actually doing here?! What the fuck.”   “I’m here for the reunion,” he quips. “You?”   “Same. God.” His hand runs into his hair, shock firing into his body. Changsub quickly looks around. “Does Y/N know you’re here?”   Once more, Hoseok’s confusion returns. “Yes…?”   At the reminder, Taeyeon glances around the premise, standing on the tips of her toes. She inhales a sharp breath, humming a note. “Let me go get Hani and Y/N. They’ve been gone for a while. We should get a picture together before things get more hectic around here.” The female dismisses herself, going into the crowd of people to grab you both, disappearing from sight.   Changsub shakes his head, still staring at Hoseok and unable to trust his eyes even when he blinks hard. “Dude, man, it’s been so goddamn long.”   “I know.”   “How have you been? What have you been up to?”   “I’m good. Just working as a lawyer these days at a divorce firm. You?”   “Awesome. God, wow. Yeah, I’ve been travelling for work.” Changsub is at a loss for words. “You look great.”   “Thanks.” Hoseok grins at him. “You too.”   The male shakes his head, mouth drawing open. “And Y/N knows you’re here and shit?”   “Yeah.” He wonders why he’s being mentioned with you so much, why people are so confused that he’s made a reappearance. It can’t be that weird. “Why?”   Daehwi pipes up, interrupting the conversation, “They actually work together.”   “No shit! Really?” Changsub is noisy, nosy, and a tad obnoxious. He’s slow to pick on things and a bit hyperactive, gathering attention from the surrounding people, but he’s still good natured and warm hearted enough not to cause real trouble. Yet. “So, you came with Y/N today?”   “....uh...kind of? Not really.”   “Are you guys back together?”   “No.”   Daehwi’s smile at once becomes stiff. He looks around as if searching for help, but when no one comes to the rescue, he pokes him and mumbles, “uh...Changsub...you might want to cool it.”   He doesn’t hear him. “Yeah, I didn't think so. When it’s that bad of a split, it’s usually not good to get back together. I know I tried to get back with Sooyoung and it turned out even worse. She took the kids and all and that fucking sucked ass.”   “Oh.” Hoseok quirks his head to the side, frowning. The lawyer is both perceptive and smart enough to catch on. Everyone knew something — what it was Hoseok was unsure of. But while they decided not to divulge any information and continue to speak in code, Changsub was his opportunity, the person to spill whatever was going on. “Was it a bad split? I mean, we only had two dates…..?”   “What are you talking about? Two dates?!” A bark of laughter comes from the pits of his stomach, streaming out from his mouth in disbelief.   Daehwi’s teeth grit. “Chang...shut up..”   “You guys dated for like four years.”   There’s silence. Hoseok stares at him. His smile immediately falls.   “....Excuse me…..what?”   Daehwi sighs his entire lungs out. He shuts his eyes tight and pinches the bridge of his nose. At this rate, his head was going to be shaved bald by his precious girlfriend, just because this dumbass was straight out ignoring him. Despite not being aware of what your relationship is with Hoseok, Daehwi’s sure he won’t be able to look at you in the eye after this. Guilt would eat him alive since you were obviously keeping Hoseok in the dark for a reason. “Chang...dude…”   “You guys even got engaged.”   Hoseok is lost. “....What?”   Without you even knowing, your entire world collapses.   It’s ironic that your feigned ignorance of history turned to real ignorance of the present situation. You can’t even mourn for your loss when you don’t even know that it occurred.   “Changsub!” Daehwi steps on his foot and the male cries out in pain.   “Ow! What the hell, dude?! I’m trying to talk to Hope!”   “Yeah, well you need to fucking stop. Shut up. Seriously.”   The man rolls his eyes. “I get that no one wants to talk about bad breakups, but it was like, what, eight years ago? It’s not that big of a deal. The past is the past. We can’t just keep beating around the bush or skirting around the issue and pretend it never happened.”   Daehwi groans like it physically pains him to interact with his old friend. “You...are the biggest dumbass I have ever met.”   “Hani! Y/N!” When the pair of you come into sight, Changsub grins and walks over like nothing had just happened. In a way, nothing really did happen. He was just talking about old memories, things that have no meaning anymore...or at least that’s what he thought.   “Hey, Chang. Oh, I got your drink.” You pass it to Hoseok and he takes it lifelessly. His expression is strangely blank, glossed over, neither bright and energetic or serious and stern.   Jung Hoseok is unreadable.   “Did something happen?” Taeyeon asks with pouty lips, glancing at the three male individuals.   “No…” Daehwi sighs and glances at Hoseok. “Not really.”   Changsub shrugs. “My flight got delayed and I rushed over here from the airport, threw my luggage in the room upstairs and ran here. Barely made it too. Also, I’m super tired and my whole body is delayed like twelve hours. So, I might be a bit slower. Anyways, I’m glad you’re finally here, Y/N.”   “Happy to be here,” you answer with a smile.   “Took you long enough,” he playfully quips back and it’s true. You were avoiding them since they brought back memories you didn’t want to remember. But now that you were standing here with all your friends again, it wasn’t so bad…..   “Yeah.” You give another smile.   “We need a picture of this.” Hani digs into the small purse slung across her body. “I don’t know the next time we’re going to be all together again.”   The small crowd gathers to take the photo. Hani has her arm around you, Taeyeon right in front with Daehwi and Changsub huddling on Hoseok’s side. You and Hoseok stand beside each other in the center, posing with cracking smiles as the camera snaps the shot, capturing the moment in time forever.   There’s more meaningless small talk, more catching up. When the music plays, the official reunion begins and everyone finds their seats as the speaker takes the center stage and the slideshow at the back begins.   You steal a glimpse of Hoseok when you feel the pressure of his eyes on you. “Hey...are you okay?”   His gaze softens, eyes full of confusion. You don’t know what’s going on. And your fixation on denial blinds you silly, never once giving you an inkling at the potential possibilities.   His turmoil is a tsunami, crashing down inside his chest, rushing into his stomach and drowning the butterflies that have migrated there, making him uncomfortable and sick. He is conflicted. Confused. Angry. Petrified. Sad. He doesn’t know why you would hide it from him. He doesn’t know what happened. He doesn’t know why he doesn’t know. He doesn’t know who you are.   Hoseok gives you the most honest answer he can muster—   “I don’t know.”

[dr-m-r-ma]

The Design in Her Mind

Part 6/?

Genre: drama, romance Rating: PG-13 Group: Monsta X Trigger warning: past-trauma mildly discussed

Summary: Sooyeon meets Monsta X by chance on the streets when they try to help her and her friends shake off creepers, but the meeting ends on a sour note. Some time later, Sooyeon meets the boys again, but at Starship’s headquarters. Although they act cold to each other, Shownu becomes more and more curious about her.

Disclaimer: This is 100% fictional and my own story. It is unrelated to the actual events and real persons of Monsta X and Starship. In regards to this particular fic, I’ve created new K-Pop groups and Sooyeon Kim is my original character. Parts will be written in Korean with English translations. I did not major/study in English/Korean, nor was I ever strong in English/Korean grammar, so there will be grammatical mistakes. This fanfic is written in third person and past-tense for ease of writing.

March 13 Should I just quit this company?

“Ugh….” Sooyeon groaned in the cab.

“비행기에서 잘 못 잤어요?” (Translation: “Did you not sleep well in the airplane?”)

With her face squished in her bag, Sooyeon groaned again in response. When she came up for air, she frowned at Joonha and Jeanie staring at her with amusement.

Despite her vehement rejection of the idea, Sooyeon was whisked away from her team once again to replace another sick person in the makeup team. There was something fishy about the whole story, but she didn’t have a chance to fight back, and she was basically shipped off to Japan just like that. This time, however, it wasn’t just a simple comeback stage, but one special stage and two performances at Music Bank’s world tour. Thinking about the long hours to come for the first day, Sooyeon snapped her eyes shut and wished it was all a dream.

“Hey, what’s up man!”

Everyone turned to face the English speaking person, and Shownu smiled to see BTOB members file into their waiting room. Peniel bumped fists with Minhyuk while Jooheon ran up to his same-age friend Ilhoon. Suddenly there was chaos from seven more energetic boys in the room. BTOB was definitely on their own level of… wild.

What caught Shownu’s eyes -- and apparently Hyungwon’s as well -- was that Hyunsik and their Minhyuk started talking to Sooyeon. And she smiled widely at them.

“헐… 뭐야… 아는 사이인가? 왜저렇게 밝아보여?” (Translation: “What the hell… do you think they know each other? Why does she look so cheerful?”) Hyungwon whispered to Shownu, while nudging Kihyun. Kihyun looked over and the two started whispering to each other about the scene in front of them.

Shownu stayed quiet, just observing Sooyeon. She seemed to physically relax around Hyunsik and Minhyuk, which was the opposite of how she was in the room with the Monsta X members. Her smiles and her laughter seemed genuine, unlike her awkward smiles in the waiting room or the forced laughter he heard so many times already.

“Oh my god!!! Soo?! What are you doing here?!” Peniel shouted across the room.

As soon as all eyes were on her, the other BTOB members flocked over to her side excitedly. Changsub took one of her hands while Sungjae took the other and they jumped up and down, shaking her hands vigorously. Her eyes twinkled and she laughed with her mouth open. ‘저렇게 웃을수가 있네….’ (Translation: ‘So she can smile like that….’) Shownu stood at the side, dejectedly looking on.

As if he could read Shownu’s mind, Wonho asked, “뭐야, 뭐야, 어떻게 아는거야? 그리고… 우리 앞에선 한번도 저렇게 웃어본적이 없잖아!” (Translation: “What, what, how do they know each other? And… she hasn’t ever smiled like that in front of us!”)

Before Shownu could brush it off, they heard Sungjae yelp, “또 아이돌 스타일리스트 일해요?” (Translation: “You’re doing stylist work for idols again?”) At that, all of the Monsta X members and Joonha’s entire stylist team looked back at Sooyeon.

Either she was ignoring the attention from the rest of the room or she couldn’t feel the burning stares from the rest of the room, but Sooyeon chuckled, “나도 이렇게 될줄 몰랐거든요? 근데, 진짜 어쩌다 한두번씩 도와주는거야 -- 계속하는건 아니야.” (Translation: “I also didn’t know it was going to turn out like this, okay? But, I just so happened to help out one or two times -- I’m not continuing this.”)

‘성재한테 반말하네….’ (Translation: ‘She’s talking casually to him….’) Shownu raised one eyebrow with his lips puckered out. His signature pout caught the attention of his other members and Jooheon interrupted them.

“비투비선배님들이랑은 어떻게 아세요?” (Translation: “How do you know BTOB[-sunbaenims]?”)

*Silence*

Sungjae glanced at Sooyeon and blurted out, “말 안 하셨어요?” (Translation: “You haven’t told them?”)

Ilhoon whacked Sungjae across the head and whispered something into the younger boy’s ear. Shownu squinted, wondering what was wrong, but Sooyeon cleared her throat, bringing the attention back to her. She responded, “말 할 필요가 없었어… 근데 지금 말할게요. 예전에 비투비분들을 담당했던 스타일리스트 한 팀원이었어요.” (Translation: “I didn’t have a reason to tell… but I’ll say it now. I used to be one of the stylists who was in charge of BTOB.”)

With the words out in the open now, there was no going back.

Hyunsik seemed to sense her uneasiness, since he joked, “우리가 너무 힘들게 했지… 그래도 우리 여장해줄때마다 재밌었지?” (Translation: “We were too crazy for you… but it was still fun every time you helped dress us as girls right?”)

“Pfft.” She thought back to all those times when she did makeup for Minhyuk and Hyunsik, wondering how they could be more beautiful than the average Korean girl. Minhyuk himself always seemed to be in awe of how pretty he was as a girl.

The mood eased back into lighthearted playfulness between the BTOB members and Sooyeon, but she caught glimpses of Shownu staring at her quietly. When their eyes met, she thought he would turn away, but he only continued to stare at her. It was she who had to turn her gaze first. He no longer had the pout she saw him with a few minutes ago, but she felt his strong gaze piercing a hole into her head.

However, she continued to laugh and joke with the BTOB members when a knock came from the door frame. She looked up, as did everyone else, to find a group of boys she had never seen.

“안녕하세요, 신인 그룹 MNMT 모뉴먼트입니다! 잘 ���탁드립니다!” (Translation: “Hello, we are a new group called MNMT Monument! Please take care of us!”) The boys yelled, albeit nervously. They held stacks of their debut album in their hands and passed one to each person in the room, including all the managers and stylists.

As they neared BTOB, Sooyeon grimaced at the sight of so many new guys approaching her. Before she could tug on Minhyuk’s shirt as a silent signal, a low voice grabbed her attention: “수연씨, 제 머리 좀… 해주세요.” (Translation: “Sooyeon, please… help me with my hair.”)

Whirling around, her eyes met Shownu’s. His eyes were dark, mixed with concern and something else that she couldn’t put a finger on. Something that led her to step away from her BTOB barrier and follow Shownu. Shownu sat in his designated chair and as Sooyeon readied herself to concentrate on his hair rather than the loud chatter in the background, a cold chill ran down her spine all of a sudden.

*Clack*

She dropped the comb in her hand and her eyes slowly shifted to the upper corner of the mirror. The sources of her chill were two members from MNMT and their manager. The two members stared at her with curiosity and interest, while the manager had an unreadable but cold expression as he stared on. Even though her eyes met with each one of them through the mirror, none of them averted their eyes and Sooyeon could feel an icy coldness creep up from the ground.

Moment went by, and only when a warm hand grasped her empty hand did she come back to reality. When she looked down, she saw a softer and gentler Shownu peering back at her. His hand warmed her hand that was clammy with cold sweat, and his eyes brought her back. Without exchanging any words, Shownu squeezed her hand and picked up the comb with his other hand. As he handed it back to her, he tilted his head towards her and gave a small smile, making his eyes crinkle a little.

Thank you… for not asking. She silently thanked him, grateful for his quiet nature, and quickly got to work on his hairstyle as well as his makeup. She relaxed bit by bit, and even though she could concentrate on her work because of Shownu’s gentle gestures, she couldn’t shake off the unsettling feeling that crept up on her.

[ hours later ]

*Bzzt* *Bzzt*

Sooyeon looked down at her phone from under the table, trying to stay unnoticed during the team dinner.

After all the rehearsals and filming finished, the stylist teams and a few managers all went out for a light dinner at a local restaurant. Distracted by what happened earlier during the day, Sooyeon could only pick at her food mindlessly. Until she received the messages on her phone.

It was Ilhoon, from BTOB, asking if she wanted to go to the conbini with Hyunsik and him, and other BTOB staff. She quickly texted back a yes and put on her coat.

“어이! 김수현씨~ 어디가...세욥!” (Translation: “Hey! Kim Soohyun~ where… are you goin’!”) Joonha slurred, drunk out of his mind. She raised an eyebrow in annoyance and replied, “수현이 아니고 수연���에요. 그리고 소화가 안되서 호텔로 걸어갈 거예요.” (Translation: “It’s not Soohyun but Sooyeon. Also I’m going to walk back to the hotel because I haven’t digested.”)

She lightly squeezed Jeanie’s shoulder and smiled before running out the door. She was met with a cold breeze scratching her cheeks and soft city noises in the background. As she made her way back to the hotel, Sooyeon saw Ilhoon, Hyunsik, their manager and Ilhoon’s sister Joo standing outside the hotel premises.

Joo noticed Sooyeon first, calling out with her sing-song voice, “수연아!!!” (Translation: “Sooyeon!!!”) and skipped over to Sooyeon. Throwing her arms around Sooyeon, Joo chirped, “야~~ 오랜만이다! 잘 지냈어?” (Translation: “Wow~~ long time no see! Have you been well?”)

Though she was surprised to see Joo, Sooyeon smiled warmly in response. “네, 언니, 언니도 잘 지내셨죠?” (Translation: “Yes, Unnie, have you also been well?”)

They chattered away while the group headed over to the nearest convenience store, and it was like old times again -- Joo exposing embarrassing stories about Ilhoon while Ilhoon tried to throw shade back and Hyunsik tried to placate the younger boy by throwing embarrassing stories about the other BTOB members. It felt nice for Sooyeon to completely relax finally… even though it wasn’t always this easy.

*Rrring*

The chime on the door rang when Joo pushed the door open, and all of a sudden she gasped, “어머.” (Translation: “Oh.”)

Ilhoon broke away mid-sentence and looked towards his older sister. Joo waved him off and said, “안녕하세요.” (Translation: “Hello.”) Sooyeon peeked over Hyunsik’s shoulder and frowned. What are they doing without their managers?

“어--! 스타일리스트님은 여기 어떻게…” (Translation: “What--! How is our stylist here…”) Wonho trailed off. His knitted eyebrows and pouty lips expressed shock and utter confusion, and Sooyeon could only crouch away from the sight to sigh.

She straightened up again and pulled Joo and Ilhoon over to the ice cream section. From the corner of her eyes, she could see Shownu’s hard gaze on her again. Even though she was in front of the freezers, Sooyeon could feel a slow heat rising over her neck and ears. Why does he keep looking at me like that? 사람 헷갈리게… (Translation: Making me confused…) She could tell Joo and Ilhoon were also confused by her sudden initiative for ice cream in the middle of March, since Sooyeon was known to dislike cold food during winter.

Hand squeezing down tightly, Shownu gripped his drink tightly and didn’t even notice the liquid leaking out of the cap. Despite how Wonho mentioned Sooyeon had a different air about her when she was with Shownu, he hated how close she was with the BTOB members and staff. He could tell she relaxed completely around them and was casual, throwing smiles and jokes with them. Though his expression stayed the same, he couldn’t help but feel a twinge of pain when she walked away without acknowledging his presence. She could have simply just nodded her head or said a brief hello to him, and Wonho, instead of linking her arms with Ilhoon and his sister and walking off.

“처음엔 우리한테도 그랬어.” (Translation: “In the beginning, she was like that to us too.”)

Shownu looked over to his side and saw Hyunsik quietly looking at the snacks. Wonho squeaked, “원래 저래요…? 그럼 언제 사이가 좋아졌어요?” (Translation: “She’s usually like that…? Then when did you guys have a better relationship?”)

Not taking his eyes off the snacks, Hyunsik replied, “음… 거의… 반년 걸렸나? 콘서트에서 여장을 하고 나니까 좀 긴장을 풀드라.” (Translation: “Hm… it almost took… half a year? After crossdressing at our concert, she seemed to relax.”)

“그게 무슨…” (Translation: “What do you…”) Wonho frowned. She wasn’t even a permanent stylist on the team but she was going to be like that for at least half a year? He shook his head in disapproval and patted Shownu’s back sympathetically.

Hyunsik crouched down and only looked up when he saw Shownu’s drink leak from the side. Chuckling, Hyunsik said, “그래도 우리랑 처음에있을때랑 지금 네들이랑 있을때 완전히 달라보여 -- 그땐 한명한테도 마음을 열지 못했는데 지금은… 너한테 좀 의지하는게 보이더라.” (Translation: “But she seems totally different when she’s with you guys versus when she was with us in the beginning -- at that time, she didn’t open up to a single person, but now… she seems to rely on you a little.”)

Only then, did Shownu loosen his grip on his drink. The whites of his knuckles returned to pink and he looked down at Hyunsik. “그런건… 어떻게 아세요?” (Translation: “How do you know… things like that?”)

As Hyunsik grabbed a few snacks, he ignored Shownu’s question and asked, “수연이 타투있는거 알아?” (Translation: “Do you know that Sooyeon has tattoos?”) When he saw Wonho nod, he continued, “나도 잘 모르는데, 수연이는 힘든걸 겪고나서 타투 하나를 받나봐. 지금 2개 있는데, 어떤 힘든일이 있었는지 자세히는 몰라… 그냥… 모르는 남자들이 많으면 무서워해. 그래서 너희들한테 빨리 친해진단 말은 장담할수가 없어.” (Translation: “I also don’t know, but she seems to get a tattoo every time she goes through a difficult situation. She has two right now, but I don’t really know the details about what kind of things she went through… just… she’s scared of unfamiliar, large groups of men. So I can’t promise you guys that she’ll quickly warm up to you.”)

Shownu’s eyes widened and his heart raced at the implication. His gut twisted, thinking of the worst that could have happened to her, and his eyes sadly looked over to her figure. Thinking back to earlier, when he saw her tense up at the sight of MNMT, he punched himself mentally. He remembered how she froze momentarily and dropped her comb, only to be brought back when he grasped her hand.

“뭐… 네가 뭘 생각하는지 알것같지만, 그렇게 나쁜건 안 겪었을거라고 생각해. 아니면 트라우마 때문에 영원히 모든 남자를 무서워할테니까. 그냥, 욕하지말고 조금이라도 이해해달란 얘기야.” (Translation: “Well… I can guess what you’re thinking, but I don’t think she went through that extreme kind of thing. Or else, her trauma would cause her to be scared of all men forever. It’s just, I want you guys to understand her a little bit instead of just curse her.”) Hyunsik smiled and patted Shownu’s shoulder, before walking over to the cashier, where the rest of them were waiting.

Wonho seemed to reel back at Hyunsik’s words, and he worriedly looked at Shownu. “...괜찮아?” (Translation: “...You okay?”)

Shownu numbly nodded and replayed Hyunsik’s message over and over again, as the two walked out of the store and back to the hotel.

*** TBC ***

A/n: idk work is really killing me (lol) also just to clear things up, in this chapter, Shownu thinks Sooyeon’s past trauma has to do with r*pe (censoring bc idk what Tumblr’s guidelines are these days) but he’s thinking of the worst case scenario and as Hyunsik tells him, she wasn’t.  

[soft-slow-blue]

Thoughts on BtoB’s Special Album ‘Hour Moment’

Initial Thoughts

From first listen, this album sounds different from BtoB’s previous works. At first, I was a little worried that I wasn’t going to like this album because of that. Of course it was never going to sound exactly the same - BtoB’s exceptional vocal line is now short one member. Eunkwang’s voice has a very bright, distinct color that often lent richness and variation to BtoB’s songs; when he was absent for some of BtoB’s earlier stages, leaving Hyunsik or Changsub (both very talented vocalists in their own rights, so no shade) to cover his parts, it just didn’t sound quite as good.

Nevertheless, I think it would be unfair to say that this album is lacking just because Eunkwang is not a part of it past the first track. It took me a couple listens, but I’ve come to really appreciate the album and how Bto6 shifts their style to cover for Eunkwang’s absence, while still maintaining the signature BtoB sound that we’ve all come to know and love.

The remaining three members of vocal line have branched out past their usual roles - we’ve especially gotten to hear more of Hyunsik’s rich lower vocals (”Swimming,” anybody?) and Sungjae’s vocal accuracy. Changsub’s voice is probably my favorite out of all of vocal line, so I’m happy to hear him utilizing his full range as well, soaring in a way that is fully distinct from Eunkwang’s.

But it is rap line that really shines through. Without Eunkwang’s high-toned voice to flesh out vocal line, there was a possibility that BtoB’s songs would sound less full and rich. Rather than forcing the other three members to try and sing like Eunkwang, though, these new songs rely on rap line’s low tones, particularly Minhyuk and Ilhoon’s vocal abilities, to round out their sound. BtoB’s rap line, situated as it is in a prolific ballad group, has always benefited from the fact that their rappers can also perform as vocalists, keeping the switch from vocal to rap verses from feeling disjointed and allowing the rappers’ voices to blend really well with the vocalists’. As Ilhoon and Minhyuk blur the lines between their sung raps and their spoken raps, we also get to hear just how much Peniel has grown as an artist throughout BtoB’s career. He demonstrates such remarkable agility and versatility throughout the entire album, and best of all, he really sounds like he’s having a good time rapping. I. Am. So. Proud.

On to the individual tracks!

1. Friend

EUNKWANG WE MISS YOU T_T

Okay now that that’s out of the way...I found this to be the least interesting song on the album. Not because it’s a bad song! I love the fact that Eunkwang recorded it for us before he enlisted - it was such a wonderful gift for Melodies - and the song is upbeat and fun and I can already imagine BtoB and Melodies singing it together at future BtoB Time concerts. But the actual song itself contains no real surprises in terms of the composition. It’s a sweet little song and it’s distinct from all the other songs on this album, but I really don’t have much to say about it, other than that I wish Ilhoon would enunciate a little bit more because I keep hearing him say F-R-I-N-D lol.

2. Like It

When I first heard the audio preview for “Like It,” I thought it would probably be my least favorite track of the album, for the simple reason that I tend not to enjoy choruses that repeat the same phrase over and over.

Well, I was very wrong. Ilhoon, I will never doubt you again.

With its soft opening instrumentation - just a piano, playing a few gentle notes - “Like It” starts out sounding like it might be another ballad. The first verse is definitely balladic, taking full advantage of Hyunsik’s VERY LOVELY lower tone. Even as Changsub takes over from Hyunsik, the beat sort of sneaks in, staying minimal underneath a swimming instrumentation and dreamy vocals.

But then Ilhoon’s verse starts, the instrumentation drops out, and that minimal beat drives forward, fueled by the combination of Ilhoon’s rap-singing and Hyunsik’s higher vocals. By the time the pre-chorus hits, we know that we’re no longer in ballad territory - we’re in for some FUN.

I really like this song a lot. In many ways it reminds me of “Call Me” from their last album, but whereas “Call Me” was definitely a song for bright, sweltering summer days, “Like It” has solidly fall vibes. It makes me imagine going to a casual outdoor party on an autumn evening, when it’s not too cold but is cool enough to still drink hot cocoa and spiced cider. As it gets darker, the hosts turn on little fairy lights that are strung all over, illuminating everyone’s happy, laughing faces in a soft yellow glow. Man, do I just have an overactive imagination, or is Ilhoon really THAT GOOD at making a mood with his music?

Also can I just say I am LOVING how many parts Sungjae has now, and his vocalization during the pre-chorus is one of my favorite things on the whole album. Can you believe he started out as a sub-sub-vocal in the group...our baby grew up so fast. *sheds tear*

3. 나비 (Butterfly)

After two upbeat songs, it’s time to chill out. “Butterfly” sounds like “Nanana”’s more romantic cousin. Ilhoon’s skill at creating vivid atmospheres through his music shines through really well in this song - with the gentle acoustic guitar and vocal line’s floating vocals (Changsub you are making me fall in love!), you can really imagine sitting under a tree on a clear autumn day, watching the orange and red leaves wave gently in a cool breeze.

The minimal instrumentation on this song is such a change from the rest of the songs on this album, which generally have much richer instrumentation and more driving beats. It’s a chance for vocal line to display just how they skilled they are. We already know that all four of them can hit some pretty powerful high notes, but “Butterfly” requires control rather than power, and Changsub, Hyunsik, and Sungjae perform admirably. It results in such a lovely and intimate song, more like something you’d hear in a cozy cafe than something sung onstage by idols. My guess is that if BtoB perform this in future concerts, it’ll probably be with all of the members seated on stools, as a much-needed break in between more rigorous dance numbers lol.

This song also made me realize that we don’t often hear the rappers one after another on verses - usually they alternate with the vocalists - but here they are, performing three rap verses in a row. And they manage to sound so completely distinct and yet in sync with the vocalists that their raps don’t feel out of place in such a soft acoustic song. First, Minhyuk essentially whispers into our ears (someone please explain to me how someone who has such a low rap tone can also make such high-pitched squealing noises). When Peniel takes over, he’s also rapping lower than usual, but not in a way that makes him sound like he’s trying to imitate Minhyuk. It’s sweet and almost conversational, perfectly aligned with the rest of the song.

Then Ilhoon pretty much straight sings his verse. When is he going to convert to vocal line lol

4. 제발 (Please)

Minhyuk has always composed some really solid tracks for BtoB (Open, About Time, Guitar, Blue Moon), but I think the reason that he is less recognized by the general public as one of BtoB’s composers, in comparison to Hyunsik and Ilhoon, is that his style tends to lean more alternative and R&B. It makes for some surprising and beautiful B-sides within the albums, but doesn’t necessarily fit the more mainstream pop sound that’s necessary for a commercially successful title track.

“Please” is the most mainstream-sounding of all Minhyuk’s songs, and I don’t mean that in a bad way. This is definitely a power ballad, and I feel like if it hadn’t been for “Friend,” this would have been a very strong contender for the pre-release track, if not for the title. Minhyuk managed to compose something titled “Please” that actually sounds like it’s pleading throughout the whole song - unfortunately it’s been years since I last took music theory so I can’t 100% articulate how he managed it, but I suspect it has something to do with how the chord progressions in the chorus resolve.

Vocal line totally KILL it throughout this track. After the relative atmospheric quiet of “Butterfly,” they bring back the power in full, tempering it with genuine longing that conveys the sadness of the song, even if you don’t understand the lyrics. The way that “please” just lingers after each iteration of the chorus...you can feel the desperation of reaching out one last time to someone you love more than anything, driving you forward to plead for one last moment together even when you know it’s already over. The key change in the final chorus just underscores that despair, winding the emotional tension even higher (along with that rad electric guitar solo lol), until Hyunsik’s final resonant “please” resolves into Changsub’s voice, reprising his verse from the beginning.

Even after all of that heartfelt begging, feeling like you’re cutting your chest open and showing the person you love the hole that they’ll leave in your heart when they’re gone, knowing that they’re the only one for you, in this lifetime and every one that follows...the time to say goodbye has come after all.

Goddamn. This song really affected me a lot. I was actually going to write more about rap line and how good they sound in this (especially Ilhoon), but I was swept up in the raw emotionality of this song. This one’s going into the top five for sure.

5. 아름답고도 아프구나 (Beautiful Pain)

Our title track! I was actually pretty surprised when I heard this one on the audio snippet - I thought it sounded really sad for a title track. Of course, we know that Hyunsik-composed songs are rarely without some melancholy element, but this one is really quite dark, both in terms of lyrical content and sound.

When I tried to think of similar songs, my mind went first, funnily enough, to “I’ll Be Your Man.” Though the songs don’t necessarily sound too much alike - “Beautiful Pain” is another power ballad, while “I’ll Be Your Man” is certainly not - they both have a dark and dramatic tone that BtoB doesn’t cover quite as often.

It took me several listens to fully appreciate the song and how good it is. The more layered instrumentation lends the song a fullness that helps to distinguish it despite Eunkwang’s absence, particularly in the choruses. It’s a subtler, darker richness, which fits well with the dramatic subject of the song. There are so many things I picked out that I love. Ilhoon’s rap singing, for example (again, when is he going to become the fifth member of vocal line?). The little cracks in Changsub’s voice (intentional for once lol) that sound like sobs as he sings. The way that Minhyuk’s rap builds as if about to explode, then lingers on the wistful final line. Hyunsik showing off his magnificent lower range, soft and whispery with pain and resignation, as he sings the chorus one octave lower than the rest.

In the second pre-chorus, the harmony between Hyunsik and Sungjae...omg. I don’t know that the two of them often harmonize together in OT7 songs - usually it’s Changsub or Eunkwang singing the higher harmony - but they should really do it more often. Their voices have rather similar timbres, especially in the lower, more resonant ranges, so they blend together so nicely. I could honestly listen to that part over and over again lol.

Overall, this may not be my favorite track on the album, but it is a very solid song and definitely a good one to listen to on a cold autumn night, when you wrap yourself up in a blanket and stare out the window at the rain, turning memories of a lost loved one over and over in your mind even though it hurts to do so. I’d like to think that Hyunsik would agree with me on that one.

Final Thoughts

I like it, I like it, I like it, I like it! Of course I don’t think I’m ever going to truly dislike a BtoB album, but I’m just so impressed with how versatile our boys are and how good they sound on this album. We feel Eunkwang’s absence but not as a detractor from the really excellent music - the other members step up so brilliantly. Our leader would be (and probably is, because he’s the best) so proud.

What I realized throughout the course of listening to this album over and over and writing this post (thank you if you’ve read to the end lol) is that the whole album is the story of a relationship. The closeness of a beloved friend; the joy of realizing that you’re falling in love with the other person and the giddiness of imagining the future; the tenderness of a budding relationship; the desperation of trying to hold onto someone who is slipping through your fingertips; and the final bittersweet feeling of knowing that it’s over but that you would never give up those memories, even though it hurts to remember. It’s such a good balance of songs and reminds everyone that BtoB is a top-notch group, no matter how many members they have.

All I have left to say is: when is Minhyuk going to get his title track????

[official-hera]

close relationships: with katie!

Katie is an oc

cl

met during Katie's debut, they were both rookies and 2ne1 ended up inviting HERA out and they kept in touch

constantly hyping each other up; when one is on stage, you would see the other jumping and screaming to their song

surprisingly heavy on skinship, they are extremely comfortable around one another and so they are not afraid to hug or hold hands

you would usually see them fting on each other's mini albums and solo projects

talking in English all the time and some times having a conversation in Korean while adding English words and vice versa

closeness rating: 9.6/10

changsub

coming soon

closeness rating: 8.8/10

hyuna

met when Hyuna was promoting Bubble Pop! and Katie was promoting her solo album

Katie was standing in the back, and Hyuna went over and talked to her during the entirety of the show so that Katie wouldn't be forgotten

Katie admires Hyuna heavily, they are very cute and open with each other--fans consider them to be such a soft couple uwu

they flirt with each other all the time, when sharing a stage they grind and shit and then laugh and it messes with people's heads

once, when Hyuna was promoting Lip & Hip on Countdown, she won the award so she began to preform the song as the other groups left. Katie didn't so she could dance with Hyuna and her other members. The drop for the song was coming up, and on the pop Hyuna straight up just grabbed Katie's boob. it went viral

closeness rating: 8.7/10

jessi

met on Running Man and kept making each other laugh their asses off so they exchanged numbers

only talk in English with one another, and are so heavy on PDA; just constantly grabbing ass and breasts like it's nothing

get used to seeing either one of them in the other's frequent Instagram Lives, considering they always hang out

impersonate each other on variety shows

they just uplift and hype each other up umf

closeness rating: 9.2/10

le

met through Hyuna had a lot in common, so they exchanged numbers

Katie's contact name for Hyojin is hiyo-jin, because whenever Katie sees her she goes "Hiyo, Jin!!"

Katie uplifts Hyojin in everything she does, constantly hyping her, and whenever talking about favorite idols Katie would always bring her up

Hyojin looks up to Katie a lot even though she is older; she just thinks Katie is very strong and cool

just a soft awkward tall couple who looks out for each other

closeness rating: 8.3/10

mino

met at an awards show, Seunghoon knew the whole dance to one of their songs and Matilda thought it was the funniest thing ever and decided to invite all of WINNER out, meanwhile, Katie mostly talked to Mino the whole time considering they had a lot in common

feature on each other's songs

mino had a little crush on her for a while which eventually deflated after he found out she was dating someone else

often help produce and write

will meet up in their production studios at ungodly hours during the weekdays, just sitting, rarely talking. it's rare, but they both cherish it.

closeness rating: 7.2/10

[imaginekpopwithme]

BtoB as Evanesce by Super Junior Lyrics

Disclaimer: Credits to the original creators of the GIFs and the lyrics. I only own the stories. 

Eunkwang - It’s been long since the white flowers of laughter have withered.

One of the first things that drew you to Eunkwang was his laughter. He always laughed without a care in the world, something that came to define your relationship. However, it seemed the laughter had slowly faded away, like fallen petals blown by the wind. Maybe it was time for a change before silence held you in its embrace.

Minhyuk - The burning passion became ash. / Why does everything good always become like this?

Your relationship was passionate from the beginning. Given both your personalities, it was only natural for it to grow, like fire constantly being fed. Unfortunately, fire gradually turns to embers before settling as ash. Perhaps your relationship had been too passionate, engulfing everything in its path to feed itself. With fuel running out, it was only a matter of time before the flames did too.

Changsub - Why are things that will disappear so beautiful?

You have always found each other beautiful, something that never changed throughout your relationship. People gazed at your beauty with awe, hardly believing such exquisite beauty could exist in this harsh world. Unfortunately, it seems like it was not meant to last. Like a snowflake once caught, it would only be a few moments before the world claimed it again as its own.

Hyunsik - I can’t see anything about the eternal future by myself, making me dream however I want. 

It had been a few days since you’ve broken up. You still haunted each others dreams, the memories refusing to be silenced. While you both knew not all relationships ended, neither of you imagined yours going that way. As a result, a future without the others never crossed your mind. Now, the once beautiful dreams turned to horrible taunts of what maybe should have been. 

Peniel - Even if the sun will rise again after the night is over, I already long for this moment that I can’t hold onto.

Heartbreak doesn’t last forever, that’s what everyone always said. The pain will turn to happiness, like night turns into day without fail. That doesn’t mean you won’t carry a light to see through the darkness. Immediately after the breakup, you clung onto what was, to help you see through what could have been. Your memories became your light amidst the darkness of no longer having the other by your side.

Ilhoon - Will the dream end like this? / Why can’t I get both the person and the love?

When a relationship begins, there are those who wish it harm. While you may have had love as individuals, it was not to be the case when you were together. As time went on, things got more strained, greatly testing both of you. It eventually grew too much and so you broke up. There was no lack of love around you, but was it really worth it without the other person?

Sungjae - Love is momentary. / It’s just a passing dream, I don’t want to wake up yet. 

Love was like water - while you can surround yourself with it, you can never truly hold it in your grasp. Eventually, you would have to remove yourself from it. However, the sensations stay with you even hours later. When your relationship ended, the emotions it stirred in you kept you company, softly caressing you as the other once did. You would soon fall asleep, wishing you would not wake up so you can always feel the soft caresses of love. 

[strawberryjun]

GTKM TAG

thank you to @goandtouch for tagging me !!!!!!

RULES: Answer these questions and tag 20 blogs you’d like to know better

1. nicknames: samurai

2. zodiac: taurus

3. height: 178 cm

4. age: 15

5. time: 4:57 am

6. fav bands/artists: uuhhhhmm btob, shinee, renjun, post malone, arctic monkeys, n.flying, etc

7. song stuck in your head: only one for me by btob

8. last movie I saw: what to expect when you're expecting ???? I think ????

9. last thing I googled: 'most explicit yaoi' that's a long and kinda boring story so

10. other blogs: yeah I got my changsub one that I dont use and my main ??? I guess ??? its @aggmon

11. do I get asks: not really

12. why I chose my username: uhm I like renjun and I like strawberries so

13. following: not a lot of followers but I follow like 557 accounts

14. average amount of sleep: it differs a lot, sometimes I get 8 hours and sometimes I get 3

15. lucky numbers: I mean,, ,, idk

16. what I'm wearing: a white sweater and adidas shorts

17. dream job: honestly idk

21. favourite song: oof uhm hot potato by n.flying or irresistible lips by btob or fluorescent adolescent by arctic monkeys

18. dream trip: I wanna take like a year off after high school to just travel around the world

19. favourite food: ramen !!!! I could eat ramen all day !!!!!

20. play any instruments: clarinet (e w)

22. play(ed) any sports: currently rugby but I used to swim and ride horses

23. hair color: brown but ombre (so my ends r blonde)

24. eye colour: brown and gr0$$

25. most iconic song: o o f hot potato by n.flying

26. languages you speak/are learning: english and french and I know how to read hangul but like that's it

27. random fact: uhmm i was born on 4/20 (April 20th)

28. describe yourself as aesthetics/things: soft sweaters, stretch marks, glasses, hot coffee, bruises, colour brown

I tag (these r really just my favourite blogs):

@1nomins @23renjun @pettyhyuck @dreamieslq @dreammutual @peachchenle @yourjeno @sungjaesgf @ch-ngsub @withyook @changsubdata @memesofbtob @biletdoux @markleeh @soft-slow-blue @istannflying @n-flyingpotato @renjunhuis @hyuckios @planettaeil

[rscenarios]

Daehyun - Family Drama

Hey everyone, happy 151115 day everyone! Always remember our team came back. To celebrate (even though this request doesn’t relate oop) here is a request from xiumin120801 on AFF for when you fight with your brother Daehyun and go stay with your boyfriend Yongguk.

I hope you guys like it! - Em

Warnings: some blown-out of proportion responses because angst. 

It’s been a very long day. Everything that could have gone wrong at work seemed to go wrong. What’s gotten you through everything was the fact that you would at least get to see Yongguk after his busy own busy week. A nice cuddle session with soft music is all you want right now. As soon as you get into your car you hear the soft text alert go off. You expect to see a message saying how he looks forward to seeing you, but instead you see a message saying he has to cancel.

Rather than mope about it, you decide you might as well take some time to pack more of you stuff. You send Yongguk a message, letting him know that you hope he isn’t over working. With an album in progress you know he’s likely to start pushing himself more and more. That done, you head back to the apartment you share with your brother, Daehyun. When you arrive the place is empty, so you decide to message your brother to see where he is.

To your surprise, he replies almost a moment later, ‘I’m leaving the studio! Are you at my place?’

You confirm your location and pocket your phone before preheating the oven. As it heats, you head into your room, maneuvering around your few piles of things that you were organizing for the move. You slip into pajamas and once you’ve changed you hear a soft beep telling you that the oven is ready for the pizza. Once it’s in, there’s a beep from your phone, urging you to charge it soon.

You go to your room, expecting to find your charger in its usual place only to remember that you grabbed it to take to work with you. You look around, only to accept that it was somewhere in your office. Sighing, you go grab Daehyun’s. With that, you head back to your room, putting some of the clothing piles into a box. You’re about to start on some of your personal knick-knacks when you hear the front door open and close, signalling your brother’s arrival.

You can hear another voice, another guy is with him and it isn’t until you go to greet him that you see Changsub. Changsub greets you politely before you embrace Daehyun.

“I thought you would be with Yongguk?” He questions. There’s no harshness to his tone, only a soft curiosity.

“He had to cancel. But there’s a pizza in the oven that should be done in a bit and then I’ll be in my room so you guys can do what you have planned.”

“I wouldn’t mind if you join us,” Changsub smiles.

You smile but shake your head, “I should keep tending to some stuff, but thank you.”

Both of the guys nod as the oven beeps so you make quick work of slicing up the pizza and taking some into your room to eat as you work on packing some of the photos you want at Yongguk’s place.

A soft curse leaves your lips as one of your picture frames falls behind your bedside dresser. You move the little dresser, only to hear a clunk as you do so. Not thinking much of it, you grab the framed photo and set it on your bed before moving the dresser back.

There’s a soft chime from your phone, signalling a text from Yongguk, who offers to get breakfast with you tomorrow to make up for tonight. Smiling, you tell him that would be great. As you’re about to set the device back down, you note that it’s not longer charging.

Puzzled, you make sure the cord is plugged into your phone: it is.

You check the wall port only to see the plug port pulled out slightly, but as you reach to push it back in you see the wires coming out of the end of the cord. It must have been hit by your dresser and finally snapped. It had been frail from all it’s different trips when Daehyun goes on tours.

Biting your lip, you decide to try taping the wires up. It’s too late to get a new one tonight, so maybe you can at least do a temporary repair. It holds a charge for a few seconds before stopping. You aren’t sure why, but you can feel your eyes watering. Maybe it’s the long day getting the better of you. Daehyun is usually laid back when it comes to you, the benefit of being the younger sibling. Although there are times he can be harsh, especially when it comes to his things.

You try to decide if you should tell him know or wait until Changsub leaves. There’s laughter from the other room and you assume they’re watching a movie so you opt to wait. You try to search your room for you old phone charge to at least give him something and keep charging your own.

“Did a tornado go through this room?” your brother’s voice makes you jump slightly.

“I was just...looking for something,” you tell him. “Did Changsub leave?”

“Yeah. Now I wanted to make sure you were alive with all the weird sounds we kept hearing the last half hour,” Daehyun tells you.

“Was I really loud?”

“Not really,” he shrugs. “What’s so important you find?”

“Well, um, I left my phone charger at work,” you begin. “So I borrowed yours...and when I moved my dresser I snapped the cord and I’m really sorry.”

“You broke my charger?”

“Yes.”

“______________, I thought we agreed we wouldn’t mess with each other’s stuff?”

“I know, I just really needed it since my phone was dying. I didn’t mean for it to break.”

“Well you did,” he grumbles. “And now my phone is going to die as well.”

“I can get you one first thing in the morning.”

“That doesn’t help me now!”

You’re taken aback by how he snaps. Something else has to be bugging him, but you’re too tired and stressed to process anything beyond his shout. You’re about to apologize again, only for him to be cut off.

“Why didn’t you just go to Yongguk’s anyway?”

“I don’t have my key yet.”

“You’re moving in with him and you don’t have a key? That should be one of the first things he gave you. I made sure you had a key when you moved in here.”

“We’re just taking things slower. It’s only been a week and keys take time. Is that so wrong?” your voice is getting higher as you feel yourself ready to fight back.

“I think you should make sure that you have a key for where you’re going!”

“Are you in a rush to be rid of me? Because you’re sure acting like it!” You shout, ignoring how irrational you’re being about this. You don’t give him the chance to respond as you grab your car keys and a box. “I’m leaving then. Goodbye Dae!”

You push past him, and even slam the door on your way out. Placing the box in the backseat, you send Yongguk a text asking him to get home as soon as he can. You’re about to start driving before you send another message telling him your phone is going to die so he won’t be able to reach you soon. With a deep breath, you start to drive, reaching Yongguk’s building soon so you buzz his apartment number only to get no response.

Unable to do anything else, you go back to your car to wait and watch for your boyfriend to come back. As you wait you can’t help but reply your spat with Daehyun and kick yourself. You let a bad day get to you and stormed out. You’re sure that your brother did the same, since you’re both very similar. You’re sure if you both had working phone’s he would be calling and texting you apologizing and explaining himself.

Still, you can’t help but feel like you won’t be welcomed back home soon. Or rather to his place. Yongguk’s was your home now. The thought makes your eyes water even more and you finally lose it.

It’s a small tap on your window that breaks you out of your thoughts to look to see Yongguk looking at you full of concern. Quickly, you open your door and wrap your arms around him. He holds you without a word, letting you cry a bit more. “Let’s get inside before you catch cold,” he says softly, kissing the top of your head.

With a nod, you grab your box of clothes that is soon taken by Yongguk as he leads you inside. Tigger is quick to greet the both of you, eagerly licking your hands in greeting. As you settle onto the couch, Tigger doesn’t hesitate to settle into your lap. It’s as if he can sense you need the comfort. A small smile forms as your scratch behind his ears.

Yongguk hands you your favorite warm beverage as he sits down. He doesn’t say anything, waiting for you to speak when ready. It takes a few moments, but you manage to tell him what happened. “Daehyun loves you,” he says slowly. “As you said, there’s more bothering him than he’s letting on. It’s a very busy time for him, but I assure you that he loves you and you’ve helped him by being home. I think that it’s hard for him to know that soon you won’t be.”

“He has a funny way of showing it,” you huff.

“People make wrong choices when they’re troubled. I’m sure you two will work it out. He isn’t going to be angry about something he can replace.”

You give a soft sigh, knowing this as well.

“I think I have something that might make you feel a bit better,” Yongguk says after a moment. You watch as he gets up from the couch, only to return and press a cool metal into your hand: your key. “I went to pick it up before all my meetings tonight. I’m sorry I didn’t give it to you sooner.”

Smiling, you kiss his cheek. You don’t need to use your words to thank him for this, Yongguk knows. He also knows how tired you must be since he suggests getting ready for bed so the two of you can cuddle. You change quickly and settle under the covers, kissing him softly as you settle into his arms. It doesn’t take long for your body to relax in the warmth so you drift to sleep.

When you wake the following morning, Yongguk is still fast asleep, giving you a chance to admire him as you lie there. You can’t believe that soon you’ll wake up to this just about every day. With that in mind, you press a gentle kiss to his forehead, making him grumble and pull you closer. You chuckle, and try coaxing him awake with sweet words, and soon enough he’s awake and smiling at you.

“Good morning my love. Do you still want to go for breakfast? Because I’m personally very content here.”

“You always want to be in bed,” you tease. “We can stay a bit longer, and then let’s just eat here. I don’t want to go anywhere today.”

“Perfect,” he pulls you closer. The two of you lay there, talking softly about this and that until your stomach begins to growl. “Let’s find you some food.”

“Us. Us some food. You’re eating too,” you tell him as you get up and head for the fridge. As you expect, there isn’t much there that’s a simple breakfast meal.

“We could have ramen,” Yongguk grins.

Not seeing many other options that appeal at the moment, you agree and let Yongguk make his precious ramen as you use his phone charger. You don’t expect any messages from Daehyun yet since it’s a bit early for him yet, but you need it charged regardless.

Once the ramen is done, Yongguk quickly grabs some blankets and puts a movie in for the two of you while you eat. By the time the movie is done, there’s a few notifications on your phone. All of them are from Daehyun.

“I’m sorry.”

“I didn’t mean to be so harsh last night. I just finally had something I could put my frustration and anger on and I didn’t think. I know that’s not an excuse, and I’m really truly sorry.”

Those two messages are followed by three more five minutes later. “I’m sure my words really hurt you, and so I don’t expect forgiveness for a while. But when you’re ready, let’s got out for dinner? My treat.”

“Please at least let me know you’re safe.”

“I’m sorry.”

You feel your chest ache at how much he has to be beating himself up. Instant forgiveness washes over you, but you still don’t feel ready to see him. Still, to help him relax you send a reply, “I let a bad day get to me too. I’m with Yongguk and plan to be for a while. I’m sorry too.”

You set the phone down and snuggle into your boyfriend’s side, not wanting to do anything else but relax with him. The day actually puts all the stress from yesterday out of mind.

It isn’t until Monday that you feel stressed again as work becomes more demanding with the start of a new project. You sit through meeting after meeting all day, unable to do any other work. You make time to answer a few emails and prepare for the next day before leaving the office. As you head to the car you check some of the messages on your phone, only bothering to answer Yongguk’s. As soon as you’re home, you make a small meal before settling in for a relaxing bubble bath. The week continues much the same.

It isn’t until the following Friday, two weeks after your fight that you see Daehyun again. You were making dinner when you heard the door open followed by excited barks from Tigger. “Hey Gukkie, dinner will be done soon.”

“It’s....um...it’s not Yongguk,” a familiar voice says slowly.

Your actions halt as you turn to confirm that it is indeed your brother standing awkwardly in the doorway with the poodle running around his feet. Before you can speak up, he does, “I’m sorry to surprise you like this, but you didn’t answer any of my messages and I was getting worried even though Yongguk assured me you were fine. He gave me his key and told me I should stop by since he’s going to work on the album late tonight. I thought he was going to tell you I was coming, but I guess not.”

“Sounds like Yongguk,” you shake your head. “Come take a seat and we can chat over dinner.”

Daehyun does as told, not speaking until you’re seated at the table with him. “How has living here been?”

“Good, but not like back with you,” you tell him. “I’m sorry I didn’t respond to your messages. It wasn’t anything to do with the fight, I’ve just been drained with everything going on at work that I get sidetracked replying to just about everyone that isn’t a co-worker or Yongguk.”

“You work too hard,” Daehyun sighs.

“We both do. And that was why I was so rash to run out on you that night. It had been a very long day and I just couldn’t take any more.”

Daehyun nods as he chews on his mouthful of food. Once he’s swallowed, he speaks, “I was rash as well. What happened was an accident, I know that. I just finally had a stresser I could snap at and get some frustration out. But that’s not an excuse. I shouldn’t yell at you because I’m upset about other things. I’m truly sorry _____________.”

“I’m sorry too.”

“I’ve really missed you. The apartment is lonely now.”

“I missed you too,” you tell him. “How about I come by tomorrow? I have to get more of my stuff and I think some sibling bonding would do us some good.”

“I would really like that,” he tells you.

“How does noon work? You can buy lunch.”

“Deal,” Daehyun grins. With all forgiven, the two of you keep eating and chatting. Mostly you both rant about how busy things are, but you also joke around and tease each other. It isn’t until late, when Yongguk stumbles in the doorway half-asleep that you realize how long you and Daehyun have been talking.

He greets Yongguk politely before announcing that he should be getting home himself. He embraces you, telling you that he looks forward to lunch tomorrow. You head to your bedroom to find Yongguk already lying in bed in just his boxers. You chuckle to yourself as you change and settle in beside him. “Everything worked out?”

“Yeah, thanks to your little surprise,” you muse.

“I’m glad,” he smiles, pulling you into his arms.

You couldn’t be more content than in that moment.

[btobscenarios]

#1: You’re Shy

members: (3/7)

Hyunsik: After eating at McDonald’s for an early breakfast, I noticed that it was already 5:21 A.M. I had to leave before the sun appeared or I’ll be late for my schedule for the day. I hurridly fixed my belongings and shoved them into my bag. The place was almost deserted, just a few people here and there. Before standing from my seat, I put some music on. BTOB’s Killing Me was playing on my phone and into my ears making my stomach churn at how good it was. Everytime I play this song, it feels like it’s always the first time I hear it. It just mesmerizes me and makes me forget all my surroundings. This time, it caused me some damage. I was heading out of the door, seeing outside was still pretty dark and gloomy. I expected a cool breeze to hit me on the way out. Something else hit me instead; causing me to drop not only my phone and wallet, but also my ass on the ground. “Ouch!” I screeched, feeling my ass becoming sore every second that passes by. “Omo!” The person said, barely shaken from the incident that he caused. “Gwaenchanhayo?” “Ahni.” I replied, still on the ground. The person, apparently a guy with a cap on and a white pair of weird looking sunglasses, kneeled down to the ground and starting picking up my things. His movement suddenly stops when he looked at my phone. It showed the cover photo of the song that was playing, the artist, and the actual song. I didn’t get to see his face before he knelt to the ground but he slowly looked up, revealing his shiny white teeth that you could see in the dimmed lit of the night and his eye smile that could make my knees weak. “You have great taste in music.” He said, smiling his eyes out. “This song is my favorite.” I didn’t say anything- I couldn’t! I was baffled by what I saw. It was Hyunsik. Hyunsik from BTOB! The idol that made the song that I fall for every single time I listen to! It! Was! Him! “Let’s get you up.” He said, dusting his hands on his pants as he stood up. After, he put his hands in front of me. I grab it and pulls me, making me stand on my feet. I was still in awe and couldn’t utter a single word. “I’m Hyunsik.” He said, as he handed my things over to me. I opened my mouth to say thanks but air only came out. I don’t know what to do! “I can’t help but notice that you’re not saying anything.” He chuckled, then scratched the back of his neck. He got my phone from my hands and asked to unlock it. I didn’t understand what was happening but went with the flow. When he handed my phone back, I couldn’t help but scream internally because of what he said. “I sent myself a text and added my number so that you can thank me later.” He smiled and then went inside McDonalds. What just happened? [A/N: I actually want to make this into a fanfic… message me if you think that it’s a good idea! thanks!] Minhyuk: “Oppa!” I heard one of my co-trainees shout. When I look up, it was Minhyuk oppa from BTOB. What was he doing here during practice hours? Usually, when it was our time to practice all the debuted idols aren’t around. “Oppa!” My co-trainee repeated, ran towards the older idol and asked, “What are you doing here?” Minhyuk oppa raised one of his eyebrows and teasingly said, “Do you want me to leave then?” “Anniyo!” “Hajima!” “Andwae!” were the replies of the other girl trainees. I stopped staring at them and continued to stretch for our practice. I wish the other trainees could focus on our practice because they just keep staring at Minhyuk oppa and giggling everytime he starts teaching us moves. “Oppa! Can we see you dance to “I’ll Be Your Man?” One of the trainees say and my friend, Mae looked at me and smirked. I shook my head and eyed her, pleading for her to stop. “(Y/N) knows that choreography!” All eyes were on me now. Minhyuk’s eyes too. He raised an eyebrow and smiled, “Really? The choreo of that is quite challenging,” I just kept my eyes on his shoes and on the floor. I was scared to look at him. “Do you want to dance with me, (Y/N)?” I slowly raised my head and pretended not to hear what he said, “Ne?” “Come,” he grabbed my hand and pulled me to the front. I felt heat rush to my cheeks and I tried my best to hide it by pretending to fall. “You’re so clumsy (Y/N). Keep up, okay?” He told me I could do it and just asked me to focus. I did what he said and I could hear the music playing. He started dancing to his parts and I knew Changsub oppa’s part so it was his part that I followed and we finished the dance successfully. “Daebak!” Minhyuk said. “You were amazing!” “Ahni.” I replied, soft and mumble-like. “No, jinjja, you were! Fist bump me!” Minhyuk said, raising one of his clenched fists towards my direction and I bumped mine onto his. “You have to show the guys what you did.” He bursts, excited by what he experienced. “They will freak!” I just shook my head, silently sighing inwards and went back to my spot, hoping Minhyuk would stop making me blush in front of the other trainees. Eotteoghe? 어떻게? Changsub: Coffee, I’m addicted to it. It didn’t have much effect on me anymore since I spent almost everyday with a cup in my hand. The aroma it had was so pleasing for my taste and when I had some my day would be complete. Today was slightly hectic for me. I had so much to do in so little time. I own a business in the city and I needed to prepare before a big crowd came in. I heard a rumor that an idol group was going to shoot a music video near my shop. I had to see for myself and I hope sales would get better than usual. It was 8:36 AM and I hadn’t drink my daily dose of coffee yet so I was urging to buy a cup. I noticed that there were a lot of people in the Starbucks near my shop. I sighed, I needed to hurry. I needed my coffee but I also needed to finish setting up my store. I walked passed the Starbucks defeated and headed to my store. As I took a turn, I noticed a coffee shop a few meters away. It wasn’t packed but there were people around. I hope their coffee would taste okay and coffee was still coffee, right? I went into the coffee shop and ordered a large iced coffee with two table spoons of milk. I paid the cashier and she asked me to take a seat so she could make my order. A few minutes later, I noticed that she was taking an order for another person and got caught up. It was taking her too much time taking the guy’s order so I tapped my fingers on the table impatiently. “Large iced coffee with two tablespoons of milk to go” I danced in my head and and proceeded to get my coffee. When I held onto the coffee, there was a warm presence that I couldn’t quite understand. When I looked down, I saw a hand. I slapped it off of the coffee because I was shocked. “Omo!” The guy said, “what’s with the hand slapping?” “This is my coffee.” I whispered, shy because of how I acted. “Joesonghaeyo. I didn’t mean it.” “Gwehnchanayo.” He said, “Here, take it.” “Ahni.” I shook my head. “Sorry for slapping your hands.” “It’s okay,” he reassured me. “For Changsub- iced coffee large, two tablespoons of milk to go.” The barista said. “See here’s my order.” He stated, pointing to the other drink on the counter. “But your drink’s ice got melted, here,” he switched our drinks and gave the newly made one to me. “You can have mine.” You smiled at the gesture, blushing in the process. “Changsub” he brought his free hand up and I shook it. He looked at my drink and read my name. “Your name is cute. (Y/N).” You blushed even more, not knowing what to say. “Annyeong.” He greeted and started to leave, not able to reply to his sweet words. You never thought that he was in the idol group of the one’s recording in front of your store. [ I appreciate it more if you message me feedback and requests! Gamsahabnida! 감사합니다!] Word count: 1450

-N

[starstruckbigsis]

Thank You (so very much)

Fandom: BTOB (K-Pop)

Characters: Sungjae, Changsub, Eunkwang, Hyunsik

Summary: Sungjae decided to make breakfast as a thank you.

Sequel(ish) to Don't Leave...but can also be read alone.

Sungjae was up early for a Saturday morning, or any morning for that matter. He was even up before Eunkwang, and that meant something. After having his ‘alone time’ (as he called it) some days ago, he wanted to do something to thank his hyungs for helping him through it. So he decided on a wimp to make them breakfast, especially breakfast in bed for his Changsub hyung. He may not know how to cook but it’s the thought that counted right? Plus, he had online videos that could help him.

He groaned as he woke up extra early that morning and he straight away walked to the kitchen. Ever so quietly, he pulled out the pots and pans he needed and he went about cooking the dishes he had in mind. It was nothing too fancy, just simple foods he knew he couldn’t mess up, badly. He bit his lip as he pulled out the ingredients he needed and cursed to himself when he couldn’t find what he was looking for. Deep in thought, he sat on the floor wondering if he should just put everything back and forget about breakfast entirely, but his big heart reminded him he needed to do this. So, with all his might, he got back up and started on cooking, despite the lack of ingredients.

===

It was an hour or so later when Eunkwang woke up to the smell of eggs; his nose scrunched in confusion and wondered who would be up so early to cook. Curiosity got the best of him as he got up from bed and followed the smell. On the way there, he bumped into Hyunsik, who also had the look of confusion on him as he silently asked ‘who’s cooking??’ Eunkwang just shrugged his shoulders and led the way to the kitchen, to where Sungjae was setting the table with the food. The maknae turned around just in time to spot his two hyungs by the doorway and a smile spread across his lips.

“Oh, hyungs! Good morning!”

“Morning Sungjae…”

“Wah…you cooked all this?? Is it safe to eat??” Eunkwang teased him and he pretended to look hurt.

“Eunkwang hyung-ahh….I tried my best ok?” he answered with a pout as he kept setting the table. Eunkwang went to hug him, a big smile on his lips.

“Arasseo…but why did you cook breakfast for us? You don’t usually…” he asked as he took a seat at the table. Sungjae stopped in his tracks and looked down at his feet sheepishly.

“I wanted to thank you…for you know…” he replied, more to the floor than the others. Hyunsik gave his eye smile to Eunkwang.

“Sungjae-yah… you don’t need to thank us for that…you’re our brother, we’d do anything to help you…” Hyunsik told him as he got up and gave Sungjae a playful kiss on the cheek. Sungjae giggled and blushed before he got back to putting food onto a tray.

“Who’s that for?” Hyunsik asked as he noticed the tray of food.

“Oh…it’s for Changsub hyung…” Sungjae asked with a small smile. Eunkwang and Hyunsik both smiled at him and thanked him again for breakfast before he walked out the kitchen.

Sungjae walked with tray in hand to Changsub’s bedroom. He knocked on the door lightly and opened it when he heard an incoherent voice that came from inside. He smiled brightly when he saw Changsub curled up in bed, doing his best to keep any light from disturbing his sleep.

“Changsub hyung…time to get up…” he said softly as he placed the tray on the bedside. Changsub turned to face Sungjae, but he made no other motion to wake up. Sungjae reached his hand out to pull the covers off Changsub’s face, his arms easily snaked itself around Changsub’s body. He leaned down and hugged Changsub tight as his nose touched the other’s cheek.

“Hyung-ah…” he whispered. Changsub groaned and in his sleepy state, tried to push Sungjae away but there was no real strength behind his push.

“Please wake up…I made you breakfast…” he tried again and this time he heard Changsub mumble something like ‘mwo?’ Changsub’s nose twitched as he took in the smell of the food and when he noticed that Sungjae had indeed made breakfast (or at least brought it into his room), Changsub opened his eyes. He eyed Sungjae and the smile on the maknae’s face was enough to make him smile too. Sungjae sat back up and waited patiently for Changsub to sit up and when he did, Sungjae carefully placed the tray in his lap.

“You made all this?” Changsub asked, the food looking too deliciously to look like Sungjae made it.

“Mhmm…” Sungjae answered, before he reached for chopsticks to feed Changsub some egg roll. “…here…” Changsub ate the food and when he chewed, he couldn’t help but moan at how good it tasted.

“So good…” was all he could say and Sungjae could only smile in excitement.

“Is there a reason why I get food in bed?” Changsub asked, mouth full of food as he kept eating the rest.

“I just wanted to thank you…” Sungjae looked at his fingers as he fidgeted. “You were there for me last time and you brought me out from that and I wanted to thank you…” the room went silent for a few minutes, the only sound was Changsub putting down his chopsticks. In a blink of an eye, Sungjae could see a pair of hands covering his own and when he looked up, Changsub was looking at him with soft eyes.

“Sungjae-yah…you know how much you mean to me right? Even when we fight, or have our bad days, I will always put you first no matter what. Your happiness is our happiness and if you’re hurt, we’re hurt too…all we wanted was the old Sungjae back and we got that, so that’s all we need. But thank you so much for breakfast Sungjae…” Changsub smiled warmly and proceeded to feed him some of the breakfast.

A smile appeared on their faces and Sungjae felt much better. Even if he didn’t need to thank his hyungs, he knew it was the right thing to do by them as they had done for him so many times before. Only this time, he knew he would love to this more often for them. It made his heart feel bigger and his smile brighter.

[beatontop-blog]

“Now you know

I’ll give you a happiness that’s hard to believe

This picture that you and I will paint

It will become a dazzling star and fall on us

You just trust me” ―For You

First beep…

Second beep…

This was the fifth time Changsub tried to call Sena. But, Sena didn’t even pick it up. Why? He kept asking himself. He thought that both of them had made it up. He thought that everything had turned out the way it used to be. But the fact Sena ignored his phone call… Changsub started worrying. Again.

What did he do wrong?

Third beep…

Thanks to Yook Sungjae, Sena and Changsub finally had a chance to meet and talk about things―about this and that. He tried to clear all the misunderstanding―the uneasiness; the doubt. He tried to convince her to stay; that they surely would make it as long as they were together.

But, he didn’t even ask how Sena had been doing this time. Which was what he was dying to know right now.

Did Sena sleep well? Because she always slept late. Sena said she liked staying wide awake which was the opposite from him. Changsub was a person who easily fell asleep and was willing to trade anything to get more times for sleeping―while Sena enjoyed the noiseless night. Sena usually asked Changsub to send her a voice note of him singing “It’s just me and your voice tonight, that’s nice”, “I’ll sleep after you sing for me, I promise, sub”, “Changsub-i, your singing is on the repeat. I listen to it more often than Ilhoon oppa’s songs!”

Did Sena eat well? Because there were times when Sena didn’t even eat for a whole day and he couldn’t help scolding her. “Ya, Im Sena do you want to die?”

Did Sena cry a lot? Because what happened between them for the past two weeks, sure, gave them nothing but a heartbreak. They almost lost it all. And Changsub couldn’t forget the day he finally saw her right in front of him. Was it only him or Sena looked thin? Her swollen eyes, why did she seem so sad? And when she talked weakly, hoarsely, it sounded as she tried hard to hold her tears.

Changsub hated it when Sena cried.

Fourth beep…

Where was she right now? Was she at home? Or somewhere else? It was 9 o'clock and Changsub wish Sena didn’t go anywhere and stayed at home instead. But, if she was there, she should have picked up her phone, right? And, it was friday night, though. Maybe she was hanging out with Namjoo. Or Sungjae?―ah no that kid would surely tell him if he was with her. Or… Minhyuk?

Fifth beep…

What was she doing right know? Changsub kept wondering. At least, he wanted to make sure that she was doing well. He hadn’t been used to it. Because Sena always told him anything she was doing like…  every second. “Changsub-i I’m in class talk to you later!”, “Changsub-i, I’m eating right now don’t worry!”, “I’m in bookstore look I bought so many good books.”

But the most important things was, Changsub missed Sena so much. He wanted to see her or at least hear her voice, even just for a while.

Sixth beep…

Seventh beep…

Changsub was about to give it up but Sena finally answered the call. “Hello?”

It was a nine-day wonder and made Changsub jumped for joy. “Sena-ya, where are you?”

“Home, why? W-wait you’ve called for five times? I’m sorry I left my phone in my living room….”

Changsub somehow felt relieved because first; Sena was at home, and second; she didn’t purposely ignore his calls.

“Okay, I’m going to your house then.”

“Now? At this hour?”

“Yes, wait me up!” Changsub hung up the phone and grabbed his coat right away.

―

Sena quickly ran to the door when hearing someone knocking and calling her, “Sena-ya!” This soft and soothing voice, enthusiastically called her name. Lee Changsub.

The one she had been dying to see.

The one she missed the most.

Sena opened the door and there he was, standing right in front of her, smiled brightly―happily. Sena sure liked it. When Changsub seemed so excited each time he saw her. It felt like she was someone who meant a lot for him. Well, didn’t she?

Sena sure like it. When she could be the reason why Changsub was happy.

“I bought this!” Changsub handed the big box of Pizza. “I think it’s enough for three of us. Wait, where’s Hyunsik?”

“Ah, he's on the way to home. He’ll arrive in 20 minutes he said. With Ilhoon oppa.”

Sena and Changsub went in and sat on sofa next to each other in the living room. They only small talked―about weather and work. Changsub disliked winter―he was desperately in need of summer, “You know I’m always freezing to death because of this bitter cold surrounding me.” Meanwhile for Sena, winter was a nice season. Sena loved snow falling and tickling her face, tempting cold breeze and Changsub wearing coat―which had always been the best part of the winter.

Being PD of a music show, Changsub said that every week he met Ilhoon who was in promotion period of I’ll be Here. He couldn’t hold his excitement because it was almost hard to see Ilhoon nowadays. Sena liked it each time Changsub talked about his fellow bestfriends. She adored their friendship more than anything. Sena, in senior year, was busy doing college tasks and final project.

They did flashbacks to the old good moments. When they bumped into each other for the very first time―when Changsub came to her house with his gang. Her house―Im’s family house used to be one of their basecamps besides Club 28’. Changsub caught Sena’s attention from the start. He was the most noisy one, he was so gay with Sungjae and she almost thought they were a real couple, his talking voice was really funny, he was silly but you sure gotta love all of his weirdness and he never ceased to create cheerful atmosphere. Sena never thought she would fall for that kind of guy; who was not really her type—she prefered someone more calming. Changsub, at first, only saw Sena as Hyunsik’s little sister. Sena was a bit quiet, seemed like she was a kind of person people can’t get along easily with. But, she was nice, so was her smile. And you would be liking her the more you got to know her.

It was funny how this world made two people meet and fall in love with an unexpected way.

The conversation went naturally―casually. They talked with the smile upon their faces. They laughed even at the simplest things. Their eyes sparkled, their cheeks flustered in the presence of each other.

“Ah, wait. I’m gonna get some colas.“ Sena stood up and gestured to the kitchen.

Changsub followed her. He suddenly grabbed her around the wrist from behind and pulled her closer. It stopped Sena from walking and made her stone for a while. The warmth of his hands, the sweet of his scent―in his embrace, Sena felt like being in seventh heaven. Changsub rested his head against hers, “Thank you for coming back, Im Sena.” Said him softly as it sounded like a sweet whisper.

“I never go anywhere, Changsub-i…”

Changsub gently clutched Sena a little bit tighter and he nuzzled the side of her face. Sena giggled and turned around. Now, they were standing face to face, eyes to eyes. Changsub touched her chin, he leaned in and tilted his head slightly. Sena closed her eyes but she could hear her heart thumping―beating fast.

His lips on her lips.

And she was drowning in the ecstasy of his kiss.