#Chainsaw Man Part 2 Chapter 14

[luckyrave]

Chainsaw Man Chapter 111 Thoughts

A huge realization came to me upon going through this specific chapter, and it’s actually not a huge thing relevant to the story.  What exactly could that be, you might ask? To put it simply, there are only 8 chapters left before I’m fully caught up on my thoughts for the manga.  I literally went from the double digits range throughout these past 4-5 day to the single digit range, and that couldn’t honestly get me even more excited to continue sharing my thoughts on the manga for Chainsaw Man.  

Asa wastes absolutely no time beating around the bush with Yuko,  and asks she is gonna devour her. Not an ounce of hesitation lasts for her best friend to provide Asa with an answer that makes Yuko look away ashamed by her answer, but it also leaves Asa rather stunned as well. The reason Yuko came to visit Asa in the middle of the night was because she was gonna leave to be with her distant relative in hopes of trying to be human again.  In saying so,  Yuko wouldn’t be surprised if her fate also ended up in death at the end of the road. It’s here  Asa apologizes to Yuko for making a contract with the Justice Devil for her sake, but it’s revealed that wasn’t the exact truth.

 Yuko made a contract with the Justice Devil to be like Chainsaw Man as a way to get attention while using Asa as an excuse, but also having hopes it would make Asa her friend due to the simple fact that she never had any friends. Killing her neighbor and attacking people at The Academy. None of it was for the sake of justice. Many peoples thoughts creeped into her mind after that contract was made and it took away her own in the process.  Asa attempted to reach out to Yuko who uncontrollably used one of the tentacles to attack her.  Not knowing who she was anymore, Yuko made the decision to leave while giving Asa a proper goodbye; this also gets her to second guess whether those were really her own thoughts to begin with. 

Right before that happens,  Asa gives Yuko back the same shoes for being barefooted much like how she was that day at Yuko’s place.  That day when Asa walked around barefoot and Yuko lended her the shoes. A simple returning of the favor which really spoke a lot about their friendship. Asa even makes an effort to quote the very same thing that Yuko told her that day, and immediately the two girls began bursting out in laughter about the whole thing.  Thoughts ran through Asa’s mind about everything that’s happened in her own life about how a bunch of people died.  How she killed her own teacher and class president, and feeling like she’s the absolute worst due to just laughing about the whole thing. 

Finally, Yuko bids her farewells to Asa promising to return the shoes back to her one day to which she’s very hopeful about. She hopes through town from building to building as the night transitions over into the morning before being startled by birds.  Interestingly,  it is also revealed that Yuko can’t read the minds of animals and wished it was possible.  A quick shot was shown of the student,  Asa who is rather sad about Yuko leaving,  and a quick sneak of Denji being sleep with a small tease of Nayuta next to him with the dogs surrounding them. When it cuts back to Yuko quotes “Chainsaw Man?” in confusion while her head was severed onto he floor with a shadowy figure of Chainsaw Man holding her body upside down as blood leaks onto the floor bringing an end to the chapter. 

All in all, I give this chapter of Chainsaw Man an Amazing+ rating. When it comes to story progression there wasn’t really a lot that happened per say, but the real strength comes from the emotional aspect between Asa and Yuko. Their final conversation with one another was really captivating and heartfelt seeing the two friends bid their fair wells to one another, but it also comes with a huge sense of tragedy taking into the fact that at the end of the chapter Yuko was killed by a mysterious figure that resembled Chainsaw Man.  The mystery behind this particular outcome has still yet to be determined, but we can infer that it wasn’t Denji as he was asleep with Nayuta during the whole time. Which Tatsuki Fujimoto does an incredible leaving us at the edge of our seats waiting to know what happens in the chapters to come, but that’s just only gonna add more for what’s to come with Chainsaw Man.Until then, I hope you all take care of yourselves out there.                    

[anisaanisa]

Welcome Back Nayuta, You Little Devil, You!

The first (1st) thing this girl does is a murder. I love her.

Bonus Denji Trying His Best:

They keep little plants with their names on (though Nayuta's is looking a little...neglected pfffft) and he tracks their monthly farts. I love him.

[suhmingo]

TL;DR

Fuckers in school telling me, always in the barber shop Part 2 ain’t bout this, Part 2 ain’t bout that My boy a fraud on fuckin Gege and them He, he they say that he don’t be putting in no work SHUT THE FUCK UP! Y'all ain’t know shit All ya motherfuckers talk about Part 2 ain’t no hitta Part 2 ain’t this Part f a fake SHUT THE FUCK UP Y'all don’t live with Part 2. Y'all know that Part 2 had AQUARIUM ARC, Fighting at the Karaoke and shit. Fujimoto been on no assistant since fuckin… I don’t know when! Motherfuckers stop fuckin' playin' him like that Them devils savages out there If I catch another motherfucker talking sweet about CSM Part 2 I’m fucking beating they ass! I’m not fucking playing no more

In my opinion, Chainsaw Man is going through an evolution. Not an awesome Pokemon evolution (Or digivolution, those are cooler.) But a slower evolution, with all the growing pains that come with it. Many have noticed how “slow” recent arcs have been, or how bad the fights have become. And to be fair, the Quanxi ones are kind of ass if you’re looking for a fight fix. But I will go to bat against basically every other complaint and critique of the pacing, the characterization, and the theming. I think the best way I would describe the pacing is as methodical, or more apropos to my argument, literary.

Now I’m not gonna sit here and say that Jane Austen’s planning the story of Chainsaw Man. To my knowledge, there are no pinups of Elizabeth Bennett anywhere in the book, but I do think that there has been a shift in terms of how the story is told and how much detail it does it in, pushing closer to that of a more detailed plot structure and planning than the fast, weekly pace of a traditional battle manga.

Compared to CSM Part One, CSM Part Two is trying to tell a slower, intricate story with a more human element, rather than the fast, succinct, hard-hitting style that Part One embodied. Where the growing pains fit in is that very change in style is hard to get used to, both for the author and audience. The biggest challenge is that it’s difficult to portray methodical storytelling when on 18-20 manga pages a week, and that the Manga medium as a whole is restrictive in terms of how slow you can and likely should take things. Actually, it just seems pretty restrictive in general.

Part One is a very utilitarian story for most of the first half. There’s exist a devil(s) trying to kill Denji, forcing everyone to work together to beat them, secondary characters die, the villain gets Chainsawed, and by the end of it we get Denji feeling more complex emotions. There are core subplots such as Makima’s mask faltering, and/or Aki or Power breaking down or maturing respectively, but those generally feed back into Denji’s growth. Characters, however developed, live and die based on the completion of their arc or the perspective they bring to the story, and no longer than that. Even Reze, a beloved cutie-pie, has her core arc within 14 chapters. Point is, it’s simple story, and that simplicity allows the bulk of it to be told through action.

Finally, Denji and co have their entire stories resolved within 97 chapters. To put that in perspective, that’s where something like the Arlong Arc Ends, and that’s not even halfway through JJK’s Shibuya Incident. Part one is very much a sprint, with the talent showcase being how well-crafted the story is at that very same pace. It really is a testament to the writing quality of how dense that story feels in that short of a time.

That isn’t to say I’d want that again though. One of the most important aspects of any continuation is to not only progress the story, but also how the story is told. Now that there are established elements to a story, it is a good idea from the creator’s perspective to push the boundaries of what is already established. You could do more of the same, but in my opinion that isn’t as stimulating or fruitful long term. That’s where I think Part Two thrives.

Whereas Part One was more focused on characters realizing the goal they want to achieve and reaching a baseline level of human decency, Part Two is more focused on the struggle of maintaining that humanity in an oppressive and equally depressing world. It’s inherently a meatier concept to explore and requires fewer fights and more introspection. For my two cents, I think Part Two is pretty fantastic at this in the long run, but at the same time the week-to-week chapter focus of Part Two means we as an audience will spend far more time digesting and analyzing the setup compared to an explosive fight scene. I think that’s where the bulk of the frustration comes from with part 2, it’s progressing themes and complexity, but it’s hard to fit that within week-to-week chapters without sacrificing something there before, in this case being the fights.

For starters, there are considerably more subplots and mysteries than in Part One. To name a few, there are:

- Yoshida’s allegiance to Public Safety and has own personal end goals

- Denji’s role as a roommate/big bro/parent to Nayuta, and how that affects his personal goals and future

- Denji’s internal conflict with being Chainsaw Man, it’s future, and what it represents (Which I think is meta-commentary, but that’s for another day.)

- Asa’s internal conflict with herself and Yoru, but mostly herself as well as her desire to be loved/admired.

- Nayuta’ purpose in life as the control Devil and how that comes into conflict with her bond with Denji

- Makima’s lasting influence on Denji mirrored in the form of characters like Fami, Barem, and Nayuta.

- The shipping wars I never thought would show up

- Fami. Just Fami.

- WILL DENJI GET LAID???

That’s probably a non-exhaustive list of general questions that are still up in the air and concurrently being explored. The story has gone from being a subversive battle manga with dramatic themes of existentialism, desire, and love to a drama about existentialism, desire, and love with battle manga elements. There’s a lot more focus on thematic cohesion, whole chapters are now given to exploring a character’s state of mind over plot progression. Part One had its downtime, yes. But I don’t think it had nearly as much internal cringing as Asa has had (To be fair, I don’t think any character ever internally cringe fests as much as Asa does). You need that downtime in an introspective story, hell I’d say that’s the uptime, but it’s very against the grain in what came up as a more mature battle manga, so much so that it feels like tonal whiplash to do so.

It’s easy to see that there’s a lot more setup to an arc before it gets to the payoff. For most of the plot threads listed above, we haven’t even gotten a proper payoff in the chapters we’ve had, something that would have been unheard of in part one. At this point in Part One, we would have been nearing the end game, with the development of the story and cast clearly indicating that.

Furthermore, these conflicts aren’t nearly as “cleanly” resolved as the Part One conflicts, at least as clean as anything involving chainsaw combat can be. The punchline of much of Chainsaw Man’s early arcs comes from the dismal world being undercut by a horny, ADHD-laced, solipsistic teenager's ability to 1v1 most problems. Most of the problems grow increasingly difficult to just Denji them, growing in complexity until the conflicts become more abstract. Something like Denji vs. Reze can be realistically resolved within a fight since they’re goals and objectives make sense to come into conflict. Less so for Denji vs “Gun Fiend” since we all know how well that went down. As things progress, Denji can’t slice his way through consoling Power, nor can Pochita’s powers help him cut through his trauma and self-reflection.

That’s the jumping point Part 2 develops from. None of Denji nor Asa nor Nayuta are able to literally fight their way into achieving their goals. This is a stark contrast for Denji particularly since most of Part 1 has the ostensible goal of “Kill this and I’ll let you get to X Base with me,” which is never actually a resolution to his problems. The end of part one and almost all of part two so far has been focused on conflicts which can’t be meaningfully resolved through a fight. The end of the world is not the final boss of these characters, that only serves to contextualize and add weight to their need to solve their own problems. The characters as we see them are mature enough to identify the problems that hold them back, but not mature enough to actually see them through or see clearly in the moment.

That stuff just needs time to sit and simmer, it’s as simple as that. That’s where the action is going. Fujimoto has to show how much Nayuta means to Denji and Vice Versa, he has to show Asa’s growing feelings for Denji against the wishes of both Yoru and her own ego, and so on and so forth. Notice how most of the villains plans aren’t just simply “Kill chainsaw man” (I think the only exception is like Yoru) They tend to be more complex than that. They either want to evangelize Chainsaw Man or silence his influence. That all needs time to unravel too.

With that much going on, it’s considerably harder to get satisfying moments chapter to chapter. So many things have to be established, developed, put into conflict, that the story cannot go nearly as fast as it did in part one. The writing goes far slower to accommodate these things, but the weekly chapters don’t. They still remain in the 18-20 pages that you come to expect. For that reason, we’re left more time salivating until we reach a conclusion that could be chapters away, and even then that conclusion could just be a setup for a later arc. It’s a much bigger story with more ambition to me, something that you’d see like in a regular sized novel.

But course CSM Isn’t a novel, it’s a serialized shonen with all the prerequisites and industry pressure that comes with it.

It’s no secret that the Manga Industry is cutthroat. It’s basically luck whether your story picks up steam or not (JJK was almost canceled at like Chapter 4, for a recent example.) And once you make it, you have to perform at that same level, with the expectation that you’ll continually improve both your quality and numbers, but mostly the numbers. So it’s only natural that the level of quality of the story is going to dwindle at times. So when chapters are bad, it’s not simply because of sloth or laziness. When deadlines are that tight and success is measured in numbers, it’s a testament to the creativity of many an author that these things even get made at all. Hell, the fact that CSM manages to have such intriguing characters and thematic depth is indicative of the writing chops that ol’ Fuji has.

When I think of it like that, it’s easy to see why Fujimoto would prefer to write than to draw. As a writer, I can definitely say writing isn’t a fast art form (At all.) but I at the very least don’t have to worry about drawing the writing in my head week to week, while also trying to appease longtime reader’s desire for action. You can more quickly explore the ideas that you want to explore by putting words on a page. You want to kill a character it’s as as easy as writing “And then the dagger plunged into their heart.” Ok Ideally it’s a lot better than my asstastic writing, but the point is the same. It’s just one of the more reflexive art forms out there.

That’s kind of all I had to say. Hopefully we can all move on to more productive things, preferably within the hour. Thanks for reading.

[bigtittytsunade]

I posted 2,533 times in 2022

12 posts created (0%)

2,521 posts reblogged (100%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@paladinights

@helenawa-art

@thrashersasuke

@btrnojutsu

@hinatabestie

I tagged 415 of my posts in 2022

#csm - 38 posts

#wha - 25 posts

#chainsaw man - 21 posts

#berserk - 18 posts

#witch hat atelier - 14 posts

#leopika - 13 posts

#soul eater - 12 posts

#sbr - 9 posts

#fma - 9 posts

#hells paradise - 8 posts

Longest Tag: 110 characters

#actually if they cast tom holland irl i think id cry and shit and get a twitter to yell at someone responsible

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

1 note - Posted December 2, 2022

#4

WHY IS THE NEW WITCH HAT ATELIER CHAPTER SO SHORT.

2 notes - Posted July 30, 2022

#3

Jojo's Bizarre Adventure Part 5: Golden Wind

2 notes - Posted March 19, 2022

#2

I finished reading Steel Ball Run and i am UPSET! >:’(

2 notes - Posted January 24, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

*bangs fists on table* reblog the same handful of SBR art again!! again!!

4 notes - Posted August 3, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[demifiendrsa]

Official Viz English translation of the author comments featured in Weekly Shonen Jump 2021 issue #2.

Dr. Stone chapter 178 - Riichiro Inagaki

One Piece chapter 998 - Eiichiro Oda

Black Clover chapter 275 - Yuki Tabata

Mashle: Magic and Muscles chapter 42 - Hajime Komoto

My Hero Academia chapter 294 - Kohei Horikoshi

Chainsaw Man chapter 97 [“Part 1: Public Safety Arc” END] - Tatsuki Fujimoto

Sakamoto Days chapter 4 - Yuto Suzuki

Me & Roboco chapter 22 - Shuhei Miyazaki

Jujutsu Kaisen chapter 132.1 - Gege Akutami

Build King chapter 5 - Mitsutoshi Shimabukuro

We Never Learn chapter 186 - Taishi Tsutsui

Mission: Yozakura Family chapter 63 - Hitsuji Gondaira

Magu-chan: God of Destruction chapter 24 - Kei Kamiki

The Promised Neverland Special Side Story: A Mother’s Determination -  Posuka Demizu

Undead Unluck chapter 44 - Yoshifumi Tozuka

Ayakashi Triangle chapter 25 - Kentaro Yabuki

High School Family: Kokosei Kazoku chapter 18 - Ryo Nakama

Hard-Boiled Cop and Dolphin chapter 23 - Ryuhei Tamura

Moriking chapter 32 - Tomohiro Hasegawa

Phantom Seer chapter 16 - Togo Goto

Agravity Boys chapter 48 - Atsushi Nakamura

Our Blood Oath chapter 14 - Kazu Kakazu

[doorbloggr]

Doorbloggr Master Post 2.0

Hello readers of nerdy stuff. On this blog I talk about all the obsessions and silly thoughts that fill my head. I originally had a Masterpost that linked to every article I make on here, but since it got a bit long, I've decided to just make a new Masterpost linking to my two most important topic categories.

Dinosaur/Palaeontology Posts and Weekly Media Recommendations.

Here's all posts about Dinosaurs and Palaeontology

PaleoArt and Monster Hunter

Your Dinosaurs Are Wrong; A Brief Guide

Your Pterosaurs Are Wrong

Your Dinosaurs Are Not Dinosaurs

Cool Dinosaur Feather Facts

The Dinosaur Lip Debate

Dinosaur Name Changes

PaleoMedia; Outdated ≠ Unscientific

Palaeontology's History of Spinosaurus

Monster Hunter Ceratopsians

Mouth on Legs; Carnotaurus

Stem Birds and Derived Fish

Real Fossil Pokémon

Sauropod Forelimbs; Giants on Tiptoes

Great Jaggi; The Jurassic Park Monster

The Dinosaur Scavenger Debate

Dinosaurs of the World 1; Australia + Antarctica

Dinosaurs of the World 2; Asia

Dinosaurs of the World 3; Africa

Dinosaurs of the World 4; Madagascar + India

Dinosaurs of the World 5; Europe

Dinosaurs of the World 6; South America

Dinosaurs of the World 7; N. America (Appalachia)

Dinosaurs of the World 8; N. America (Laramidia)

Where are all the medium sized Theropods?

Anagenesis in Ceratopsians, Briefly

An Update on Spinosaurs

Dinosaur Swords and Shields; Thyreophorans

There is no dinosaur named Troodon

Here's all my Weekly Media Recommendations posts

#1-Blend S, Savage Garden

#2-Mori Calliope, Food Wars, Bill Wurtz

#3-Mob Psycho 100, Kobayashi's Dragonmaid, Chainsaw Man

#4- Full Metal Alchemist, Monster Hunter Rise, Kiss From a Rose

#5- K-On!, Komi Can't Communicate, Last Train Home

#6- Goblin Slayer, Keijo!!!!!!!!

#7- Dinosaur YouTubers

#8- Jamiroquai, Chromeo, Lofi Girl

#9- Demon Slayer, Miitopia

#10- Leighton Night (w/BW), Caramelldansen

#11 - Love, Chunibyo & Other Delusions, Monster Hunter Stories 2: Wings of Ruin

#12- Omae Wa Mou/Tiny Little Adiantum, Foolish Heart, The No Pants Dance

#13- The Metamorphosis, What a Fool Believes, Death Note

#14- That Time I Got Reincarnated As A Slime, Ninja Sex Party

#15- The Great Ace Attorney Chronicles, Spy x Family

#16- Top 3 fave Songs/Anime/Games as of 22/8/21

#17- Spice and Wolf

#18- MONTERO (Call Me By Your Name), Rosario x Vampire

#19- Twilight Princess (manga), Dr Stone

#20- Deltarune (Chapter 1+2)

Interlude 1 - What I've been doing instead

#21 - KonoSuba, Combatants Will Be Dispatched!

#22- Candy Flurry, Rock DJ

#23- Sakamoto Days, Sail

#24- Minecraft

#25 - 1984, Dragon Quest XI

#26 - Arcane, Cowboy Bebop

#27 - Pokémon Legends Arceus

#28 - Closer (Spiralmouth), Komm Susser Tod

#29 - The Legend of Vox Machina

#30 - Science Youtubers Part 2

#31 - Little Witch Acadamia

#32 - My Dress-Up Darling, Highschool of the Dead

#33 - Fire Force

#34 - Prehistoric Planet

#35 - Rerecommend: Spy x Family, Komi Can't Communicate

#36 - Zombie Land Saga, Love After World Domination

#37 - Critical Role

#38 - Brand New Animal (BNA)

#39 - Cyberpunk Edgerunners, Castlevania (Netflix)

#40 - The Rising of the Shield Hero

#41 - Long Form YouTube Videos: Documentaries and Video Essays

#42 - Keep Your Hands Off Eizouken!, World's Smallest Violin

#43 - Bocchi the Rock!, Trash Taste Podcast, Sarah Z

#44 - Lycoris Recoil, Pokémon Scarlet/Violet

#45 - The Pikmin Series

#46 - Dungeon Meshi, Disco Elysium

#47 - Romantic Killer, Nier Automata

#48 - Nimona

Happy Reading!

[yugiohmangavsanime]

A guide listing each chapter of the Yu-Gi-Oh! manga and its corresponding anime episode (part 1)

This is part 1, covering all of the pre-Duelist Kingdom chapters of the manga (1-59).  For this portion of the manga, there are two anime adaptations: the “season 0″ first series anime produced by Toei Animation (henceforth be referred to as the Toei Anime), and the “Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters” second series anime produced by Nihon Ad Systems and Studio Gallop (henceforth be referred to as the Duel Monsters Anime)

This project was influenced by the website Kanzenshuu, which lists which episodes of Dragon Ball and Dragon Ball Z correspond to each chapter of the Dragon Ball manga and vice-versa.

“School Arc” Episodic Chapters

Chapter 1: The Puzzle of the Gods

Toei Anime: Episode 1

Duel Monsters Anime: Episode 3 (portions adapted in flashbacks)

A retconned retelling also appears in the Pyramid of Light movie

Chapter 2: Lying Eyes

Skipped in both anime adaptations

Chapter 3: Hard Beat!

Skipped in both anime adaptations

Chapter 4: Jail Break!

Toei Anime: Episode 2

Duel Monsters Anime: Episode 22 (portions adapted in flashbacks)

Chapter 5: The False Prophet

Toei Anime: Episode 13

Chapter 6: Into the Fire

Skipped in both anime adaptations

Chapter 7: The Face of Truth

Toei Anime: Episode 10

The character Miho Nohaska, who was a minor character who only appears in this chapter, was upgraded to a main character in the Toei Anime

Chapter 8: The Poison Man

Skipped in both anime adaptations

Chapter 9: The Cards with Teeth (Part 1)

Toei Anime: Episode 3

Duel Monsters Anime: Episode 1 (first half of the chapter)

Chapter 10: The Cards with Teeth (Part 2)

Toei Anime: Episode 3

Chapter 11: The Wild Gang (Part 1)

Toei Anime: Episode 9

Chapter 12: The Wild Gang (Part 2)

Skipped in both anime adaptations (in the Toei anime this story was combined with chapters 48-49; taking the first half of The Wild Gang’s plot and the second half of Jonouchi! Soul Battle!!’s plot.)

Shadi Arc

Chapter 13: The Man From Egypt (Part 1)

Toei Anime: Episode 5

Duel Monsters Anime: Episode 40 (very end of the chapter)

Chapter 14: The Man From Egypt (Part 2)

Toei Anime: Episode 5

Duel Monsters Anime: Episode 40

Chapter 15: The Other Criminal

Toei Anime: Episode 6

Chapter 16: Shadi’s Challenge

Toei Anime: Episode 6

Chapter 17: Game Start!

Toei Anime: Episode 6

Chapter 18: Second Stage

Toei Anime: Episode 6

Chapter 19: Final Stage

Toei Anime: Episode 6

Chapter 20: Game Over

Toei Anime: Episode 6

“School Arc” Episodic Chapters (cont.)

Chapter 21: Digital Pet Duel

Toei Anime: Episode 7

Chapter 22: American Hero (Part 1)

Skipped in both anime adaptations

The character Zombire, from an in-universe superhero comic appearing in these chapters, was adapted in the real-life card game as the Monster Card Zombyra the Dark

Chapter 23: American Hero (Part 2)

Skipped in both anime adaptations

Death-T Arc

Chapter 24: Capsule Monster Chess

Toei Anime: Episode 11

Chapter 25: The One-Inch Terror

Toei Anime: Episode 21

Chapter 26: Russian Roulette

Skipped in both anime adaptations

Chapter 27: Project Start!

Toei Anime: Episodes 21-22

Duel Monsters Anime: Episode 1 (only portions of the chapter used)

Chapter 28: First Battlefield

Toei Anime: Episode 22

Chapter 29: Shooting Stardust

Toei Anime: Episode 22

Chapter 30: Don’t Make a Sound!

Skipped in both anime adaptations

Chapter 31: Murderer’s Mansion

Toei Anime: Episode 22 (only portions used)

Chapter 32: Chainsaw Deathmatch!

Skipped in both anime adaptations

Chapter 33: Terror Cubed!!!

Toei Anime: Episodes 22-23

Duel Monsters Anime: Episode 1 (elements used)

Chapter 34: Arena #2

Toei Anime: Episode 23

Chapter 35: Board Game Deathmatch

Toei Anime: Episode 23

Chapter 36: Battle Beyond Hope

Toei Anime: Episodes 23-24

Duel Monsters Anime: Episode 1 (final part of the chapter)

Chapter 37: To the Death!!

Toei Anime: Episode 24

Duel Monsters Anime: Episode 1

Chapter 38: The Terror of Blue-Eyes!!

Toei Anime: Episode 24

Duel Monsters Anime: Episode 1

Chapter 39: Endgame!!

Toei Anime: Episode 24

Duel Monsters Anime: Episode 1

Chapter 40: A Piece of His Heart

Toei Anime: Episode 24

Duel Monsters Anime: Episodes 1, 100, 103-104, 108-109

“School Arc” Episodic Chapters (cont.)

Chapter 41: Let’s Find “Love”!

Skipped in both anime adaptations

Chapter 42: Get the Million!!

Skipped in both anime adaptations

Chapter 43: Monster Fight!! (Part 1)

Skipped in both anime adaptations

Chapter 44: Monster Fight!! (Part 2)

Skipped in both anime adaptations

Chapter 45: 13 O’clock Terror!!

Toei Anime: Episode 14

Chapter 46: The Evil Dragon Cards (Part 1)

Toei Anime: Episode 18

Chapter 47: The Evil Dragon Cards (Part 2)

Toei Anime: Episode 18

Chapter 48: Jonouchi!! Soul Battle!! (Part 1)

Toei Anime: Episode 9 (final part of the chapter)

Chapter 49: Jonouchi!! Soul Battle!! (Part 2)

Toei Anime: Episode 9

Monster World Arc

Chapter 50: Millennium Enemy 1: The Mysterious Transfer Student

Toei Anime: Episodes 21 (beginning of chapter), 25

Duel Monsters Anime: A very loose adaptation of this arc begins at the end of Episode 12

Chapter 51: Millennium Enemy 2: Monster World

Toei Anime: Episode 25

Chapter 52: Millennium Enemy 3: The Fumble of Doom

Toei Anime: Episode 25

Chapter 53: Millennium Enemy 4: Role-Playing Miniatures

Toei Anime: Episode 25

Duel Monsters Anime: Elements adapted in Episode 13

Chapter 54: Millennium Enemy 5: Stop the Run of Criticals!

Toei Anime: Episode 26

Chapter 55: Millennium Enemy 6: Rival Clash - The Greatest Crisis

Toei Anime: Episode 26

Chapter 56: Millennium Enemy 7: I’ll Fight Too!

Toei Anime: Episode 27

Chapter 57: Millennium Enemy 8: Fight! Fight!!

Toei Anime: Episode 27

Chapter 58: Millennium Enemy 9: The White Wizard Bakura

Toei Anime: Episode 27

Duel Monsters Anime: Elements loosely adapted in Episode 13

Chapter 59: Millennium Enemy 10: The Last Die Roll

Toei Anime: Episode 27

Duel Monsters Anime: Elements loosely adapted in Episode 13

I made this blog a few years ago but really dropped the ball on my original plans for comparing the manga and anime because of my utter lack of an ability to focus on a large-scale project, so instead I’m going to just make more freeform small-scale posts like this.

[oozmart]

12, 14, 15, 20, 38

12. What was your favorite movie of the year?

Welp...

14. Favorite new TV show?

Idk if I started watching any TV shows that are new for this year necessarily, but I started watching American Horror Story when I was really sick in October and I’m only at Season 6, but i’m super hooked.

15. Which new ship/fandom has taken over a lot of your time, attention, and tears?

Honestly, every year my horror obsession just becomes stronger.  I’ve been really into Pennywise specifically, but I’ve also gotten SUPER into The Texas Chainsaw Massacre franchise, specifically Part 2.

20. Did you develop a new obsession?

Horror related its definitely IT Chapter 2 that just plunged me into this whole new Pennywise obsession.  Unrelated to horror, earlier this year I was SUPER INTO He-Man and the Masters of the Universe.  Like the entire month of January that was all I cared about and it was awesome.

38. What was the best moment of the year for you?

M E E T I N G  E L V I R A  A N D  B E I N G  F E A T U R E D  O N  H E R  I N S T A G R A M

Thanks for the asks friend!  UwU

[luckyrave]

Chainsaw Man Chapter 117 Thoughts

There’s a little something in life that we like to call patience. It is a key factor that every people out there in the world have taken into account when things pertain to awaiting for certain outcomes to fall into place. I really don’t think there is a better way to describe Chainsaw Man than that which also holds very true for this specific chapter as well. 

 Ever since Part 2 started, we’ve followed Asa Mitaka on her current journey with Yoru, and various occasions of Denji popping into the scene whether in his devil form or his normal appearance. At the very least this was how it started off for the first fifteen chapters of Part 2, and since the beginning of this volume (#14) with Chapter 113 we’ve seen Denji present all throughout. Except for one specific little detail that’s been missing from Part 1. Denji’s inner monologue was practically nonexistent throughout the story Tatsuki Fujimoto has told. Until this very chapter, and it’s fascinating.  What was going through his state of mind was what Asa told him in the previous chapter,  but Denji debates with himself about the whole thing only for a penguin to fall out of the sky into his arms which left really ecstatic while the Aquarium shattered around him.

It immediately shifted over Asa standing face to face with The Eternity Devil. Some members from The Devil Hunters Club are stunned that they’re outside now, and Yoshida struck against The Eternity Devil just moments before Yoru stepped back into the picture. A single quote about Asa expressing quilt over ruining the Aquarium was one that didn’t surprised Yoru as she  struck the spear that was created to destroy The Eternity Devil.  Haruka was shocked by battle that just took place questioned the power as if it was familiar, and this while Denji held onto the penguin so happily.  This was when Fami noted about the plan being a failure before she shifted over to Yoshida; who might’ve noticed something at the same time. That brief exchange seemed to have implied that Fami and Yoshida possible are connected in some ways. Soon after, a few other members from The Devil Hunters Club appeared, and one of the security guards took the penguin from Denji which left him rather sad. 

Finally, when the dust was finally settled from that whole incident Denji walked Asa home. She talked about how the whole experience was probably the worst date she’s had to go through, but thanks Denji for walking her home. A bit of awkward tension is shown between the two teenagers until Denji addresses the request that Asa offered to grant him when he forked up the cash to her previously. Turns out the request Denji had in mind was asking Asa out on another date in a genuine manner.  Even going as far as saying that he’ll teach to have a better date which made her happy affectionately.  Yoru notes this phenomena that Asa is experiencing as love which was also something she felt as well because they both share the same brain together. Not a second passed when Yoru regained control of Asa’s body with her hand on Denji’s head while she chanted “Denji Spinal Sword!” bringing an end to the chapter.

        All in All, this chapter of Chainsaw Man gets a Pure Perfection rating. I really loved how we finally got a bit of Denji’s inner monologue in the opening pages along with the way Tatsuki Fujimoto transitioned into the battle between Asa vs The Eternity Devil.  What also really made this chapter so incredible was showcasing a bit of mystery and tension with characters like Haruka, Fami, and Yoshida potentially having a connection of sorts. The fight between Asa & Yoru against The Eternity Devil was also done so spectacularly in how fast it was, but it showcased that we as the readers know what the Eternity Devil is capable of, and this was really to showcase the strength Asa and Yoru possess together. Not only this, but also showing more growth from Denji subtly asking Asa on a date genuinely speaks volumes for his development given how far his character has come since Part 1.  Which brings us to the stinging cliffhanger... the fact that Tatsuki Fujimoto practically pulled the same trick twice. They say it’s not impressive when somebody uses the same trick twice on a person, but Fujimoto just knows how to craft the story layout various moments and this was no exception to that rule either. Less than 2 chapters remain and before I’m fully caught up to latest chapter in Chainsaw man, and  next chapter thoughts will be up soon but until then, I hope you all take care of yourselves out there and stay safe.        

[aarontalksmusic-blog]

A Top 30 Horror Movies

This is Halloween! This is Halloween! There are a lot of awesome horror movies, but I picked just 30 that qualify as my favorites. 

#30 - The Conjuring

So this movie isn’t perfect. The last 20-30 minutes kinda turn into a mess as the demon gets more confrontational. But, the first 90 minutes are a near perfect slow build of tension and smart visual storytelling. All the actors do a good job, even the kids. This movie has insured I never play Hide and Clap.

#29 - Paranormal Activity 2

In my opinion superior to the (still pretty good) original, PA2 moves faster than its predecessor and uses the audience’s curiosity against them in interesting ways. You’re always looking to the edges of the screen for something or someone out of place, and as the movie progresses, that curiosity rattles the nerves more and more.

#28 - The Hills Have Eyes (2006)

One of the only modern horror remakes that improves and expands on the original. The Hills Have Eyes hit when I was a junior in high school. It is gleefully gorey and deranged. People die in awful ways, and the protagonist (seen above) spends most of the last half hour drenched in blood. It’s a lot of fun if you’re into that sort of thing.

#27 - Event Horizon

Space Horror is a hard genre to get right. Event Horizon knocks it out of the park by getting the slow build right. There are gruesome and bloody images from time to time, but the majority of the movie is built on tension and dread. Having Sam Neill and Laurence Fishburne leading the cast adds some dramatic weight to the proceedings.

#26 - The VVitch

The GOAT 17th Century rural horror movie. This movie gets real weird and leaves a lot up to the audience’s imagination. The less said about it the better if you haven’t seen it. But, even for the 2010s renaissance of horror, this one stands out.

#25 - Hereditary

This is a list of my favorite horror movies, not the scariest. If it were “scariest” this would be top 10, maybe top 5. The second half of this movie is some of the most uncomfortable and relentlessly horrifying storytelling I’ve ever seen. Across just two feature films, Director Ari Aster has proved himself a master of the horror genre. We’re all worse off for it.

#24 - Return of the Living Dead

The first movie on this list that is more funny than scary, Return of the Living Dead is laugh out loud hilarious at times. Somehow, it still manages to be a more effective zombie movie than most serious ones. Great punk rock soundtrack and highly quotable, this is great for people who scare a little too easily.

#23 - Friday the 13th Part 2

Basically improving on the original in every way, Friday the 13th Part 2 is iconic even without Jason’s hockey mask making an appearance. The killer instead keeps a lumpy bag over his head the whole time. The movie lets you know early on that its going to be ridiculous, when the Part 2 logo literally smashes through the Friday the 13th title card. Great representation of the slasher genre.

#22 - Suspiria (2018)

I’m a sucker for lore in movies, and Suspiria is full to the brim with details that expand on the world. Led by great performances from Tilda Swinton and Dakota Johnson, the movie is highly intelligent and occasionally brutally violent. The fact that the director’s prior movie was “Call Me By Your Name” shows that he’s a talented filmmaker no matter the genre.

#21 - Halloween (1978)

Michael Myers is iconic. The music is iconic. Jamie Lee Curtis is an all-time great horror leading lady. Halloween is a must watch for horror genre fans. 

#20 - Get Out

This movie is so well written it won an Oscar. Get Out is both hilarious and brutally tense. The acting is awesome across the board. Who knew Jordan Peele would use his comedy talent to make a career in scary movies? 

#19 - Shaun of the Dead

A classic comedy filled with so many jokes that it takes about 3 watches to catch them all. Not scary in the least, but uniquely playful in the genre. Also made Simon Pegg a star. Nothing but greatness here.

#18 - The Descent

I’ll always remember my first watch of this movie. It slaps you in the face with trauma in the first 5 minutes. Then spends three quarters of an hour building tension and claustrophobia before suddenly becoming a solid monster feature. Though it fizzles a little at the end with some wtf moments, the first 3/4ths are very effecting.

#17 - Nightmare on Elm Street

Nightmare on Elm Street is just a cool as hell idea for a horror movie. It takes the occasional predictability of Halloween or Friday the 13th and flips it. The kills are inventive and visually interesting, the effects are very cool, and you get to see Johnny Depp get brutally murdered. win-win-win.

#16 - Saw

Saw came out at a perfect age for me. Seeing this movie at 16 was a great experience. Even as the sequels got worse and worse, the whodunnit nature of the original held up. People were literally drowning in gore by Saw 3, but this is a solid movie that knows when to tone things down. Great watch.

#15 - Evil Dead 2

By turns hilarious and unsettling, watching Evil Dead 2 allows the viewer to marvel at the special effects done on a shoestring budget. Bruce Campbell is an absurd and talented physical actor, and singlehandedly carries this movie into the hall of fame.

#14 - IT Chapter 1

Chopping the 1,000 page Stephen King book in half allowed the first half of the IT saga to thrive. Bill Skarsgard is a fantastic Pennywise, and the child actors all do well. A slightly repetitive series of scares keeps this one from perfection (and would be the downfall of Part 2), but its still an amazing peak of the genre.

#13 - Dawn of the Dead (2004)

Fast zombies. Zack Snyder directing before his head got too big. Hilarious musical cues. Apocalyptic imagery. This movie is one of the best of the zombie genre.

#12 - Fright Night (1985)

One of the most simply fun movies on this list, Fright Night is straight out of the mid 80s. It never takes itself too seriously, but it still has some good scares sprinkled in. An essential vampire movie, and the remake with Colin Farrell wasn’t half bad either.

#11 - The Omen (1976)

One of my early favorites, The Omen is another lore filled film that gradually ramps up the twists until the dramatic finale. Probably one of the least scary films on my list, its built on Gregory Peck being a great actor and a few pretty messed up deaths.

#10 - An American Werewolf in London

Another favorite from childhood, this is the best the werewolf genre has to offer. Made by John Landis who also did Animal House and Blues Brothers, American Werewolf balances 80s level of gore with award winning special effects and clever music (every song featured has moon in the title).

#9 - It Follows

One of the newest (and most original) movies on the list, It Follows is one of a kind. It’s terrifying, has great cinematography and halfway through the movie you have absolutely no clue how it will end. Must see.

#8 - Midsommar

This is absolute newest film on the list, and one I’m anxious to rewatch. Midsommar sets itself apart by being 95% in broad daylight and providing a wealth of backstory to the “bad guys”. Also Florence Pugh shows that she is an amazingly skilled actress, particularly in the final 10 minutes.

#7 - The Exorcist

^That guy is scary. He’s also only in the movie for like 3 seconds. Obviously this is a classic. If you haven’t seen it and like horror at all, it will still amaze you, almost 50 years later. I would’ve loved to be a fly on the wall when it was in theaters watching people lose their minds. Still a masterpiece of the genre.

#6 - The Blair Witch Project

I watched The Blair Witch Project for the first time alone in my room at age...I believe 14. That was a mistake. While the mistakes of the hikers become a bit hilarious on multiple rewatches, the night scenes are still tense af. The last 15 minutes are uniquely terror-inducing. Everybody’s seen this one, but if you haven’t, maybe watch it with the lights on?

#5 - The Evil Dead (2013)

This movie is one of the most intense and relentless horror movies ever. Nail guns, rusty knives, a turkey carver, a chainsaw, a machete: people get literally ripped apart in this movie. But, here’s the thing, its really really fun to watch. You’ll be out of breath when its over, but still.

#4 - Cabin in the Woods

Cabin in the Woods isn’t THAT scary. It flirts with scary. It has some shocking and frightening moments But mostly its a shitload of fun that plays on every trope of the horror genre. It also has one of my favorite final moments of any film on this list.

#3 - The Thing

Underappreciated upon its release, The Thing has become the standard by which body horror is measured. Its delightfully paranoid and lets the audience sit and think as gruesome deaths pile up. 

#2 - Alien

One of the first movies to terrify me, Alien is one of the greatest horror movies ever made. The monster design is iconic. The kills and set pieces are one of a kind. It has a kick ass female heroine played by Sigourney Weaver. What more do you want?

and finally

#1 - The Shining

YEAHHHHHHH Here’s a brief list of iconic Shining scenes: - An elevator full of blood - The old woman in room 237 - All work and no play make Jack a dull boy - The snowy hedge maze - Here’s Johnny - Danny’s vision of the twins - The house of horrors finale featuring the man in bear costume featured above and of course - REDRUM This movie is a masterpiece, made by one of the greatest directors of all time, starring one of the greatest actors of all time and based on one of the scariest books by the defining horror author of our time. Its damn near perfect.

[neilmobile]

Also since it is almost 2020 and I don’t think I’m gonna watch many more movies before the new year, here is what I watched in 2019. Fewer than previous years, but this year I also tried to read more, engage in more hobbies, do more home reno shit, etc etc. Italics were garbage, bolded were good:

1. The Little Stranger 2. Hotel Artemis 3. Mary Poppins Returns 4. Bruce Springsteen on Broadway 5. Auquaman 6. First Man 7. Fantastic Beasts 2 8. Win it All 9. Upgrade 10. Dheepan 11. Rust and Bone 12. Blood of Heroes 13. Message from the King 14. Fahrenheit 451 (remake) 15. Vice 16. Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse 17. Fandango 18. Slice 19. Beverly Hills Cop 3 20. Happytime Murders 21. Someone's Watching Me 22. Super Troopers 2 23. Suspiria (2018) 24. Unsane 25. Roman J. Israel 26. Bumblebee 27. Bohemian Rhapsody 28. Woman Walks Ahead 29. Shirkers 30. Den of Thieves 31. Deceptive Practice 32. First Reformed 33. Hotel Transylvania 3 34. Lego Ninjago Movie 35. Early Man 36. American Assassin 37. Deep Blue Sea 2 38. Pierrot le Fou 39. Jackie Chan's First Strike 40. Polar 41. Mandy 42. Bad Times at the El Royale 43. Ralph Breaks the Internet 44. Bees Make Honey 45. Robin Hood (2018, yoinks) 46. At Eternity's Gate 47. Thunder Road 48. The Night Stalker 49. Burning 50. Destroyer 51. White Boy Rick 52. Starred Up 53. Heartworn Highways 54. Brigsby Bear 55. Without a Clue 56. Captain Marvel 57. A Star Is Born 58. Green Book 59. Us 60. Destination Wedding 61. A Prophet 62. Overlord 63. Shazam 64. Gringo 65. If Beale Street Could Talk 66. Space Jam 67. Triple Frontier 68. Ali 69. Black Angel 70. Wonder Boys 71. The Highwaymen 72. Avengers: Endgame 73. Lego Movie 2 74. How to Train your Dragon 3 (why) 75. The Nun 76. Happy Death Day 77. Girl's Trip 78. The Kid Who Would Be King 79. BlackKklansmen 80. Conan the Destroyer 81. Detective Pikachu 82. Wine Country 83. John Wick 3 84. Slenderman 85. Always Be My Maybe 86. Deadwood Movie 87. Professor and the Madman 88. Spider-Man: Far From Home 89. Batman vs. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 90. Hellboy (2019) 91. Little Budha 92. You Were Never Really Here 93. Alita Battle Angel 94. Pet Semetary 95. An American In Paris 96. Edge 97. Lion King (2019) 98. Lion King (1995) 99. Missing Link 100. Once Upon A Time In Hollywood 101. Hobbes and Shaw 102. The Wrecking Crew 103. A Walk in the Clouds 104. Dangerous Liaisons 105. Creed 2 106. Baskin 107. Mortal Engines 108. Men In Black International 109. Into the Inferno 110. High Life 111. The Net 112. Deep Rising 113. Aladdin (2019) 114. Under the Silver Lake 115. Little Women (1994) 116. Blinded by the Light 117. It Chapter 2 118. Ready or Not 119. Framing John Delorean 120. Child's Play (2019) 121. Anna 122. Cold Pursuit (2019) 123. What We Left Behind 124. Ad Astra 125. Deerskin 126. Boyz in the Wood 127. Texas Chainsaw Massacre: Part 2 128. The Lighthouse 129. The Death of Dick Long 130. Yesterday 131. I Love You to Death 132. Onibaba 133. Anna and the Apocalypse 134. Nightbreed 135. Clue 136. Rocky Horror Picture Show 137. Scream 2 138. Jojo Rabbit 139. Terminator: Dark Fate 140. Goofy Movie 141. Apple Dumpling Gang 142. The King 143. A Knight Before Christmas 144. Dolemite is My Name 145. Good Boys 146. House of Bamboo 147. Christmas Prince 3: Royal Baby (MAYBE IT WAS GREAT?) 148. Christmas with the Kranks 149. The Irishman 150. The Black Hole 151. Star Wars Episode 9 152. Marriage Story

[sawyersoze-blog-blog]

A Tribute to Horror Part 1 - Title Listings

0:00 - Generic Preview Screen

0:01 - “Do you like scary movies?” - Scream (1996)

0:04 - “Ki ki ki ma ma ma” - Friday the 13th (1979)

0:06 - Tales From the Crypt: Demon Knight (1995)

0:18 - Alfred Hitchcock Presents (1955)

0:20 - The Cave (2005)

0:22 - Fright Night (1985)

0:26 - Taking Lives (2004)

0:26 - “This is not a test.  This is your emergency broadcast system announcing the commencement of the annual Purge.  Commencing at the siren, any and all crime, including murder, will be legal for twelve continuous hours.  May God be with you all.” - The Purge (2013)

0:29 - Halloween (1978)

0:31 - New Nightmare (1994)

0:33 - Underworld (2003)

0:35 - Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1956)

0:37 - Urban Legend (1998)

0:38 - Penny Dreadful (2014)

0:39 - Basket Case (1982)

0:40 - Haven (2010)

0:41 - Phantoms (1998)

0:43 - Signs (2002)

0:44 - It (2017)

0:44 “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” - The Thing (1982)

0:44 - Into the Grizzly Maze (2015)

0:45 - The Thing (1982)

0:47 - A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master (1988)

0:49 - Play Misty For Me (1971)

0:50 - The Exorcist (1973)

0:51 - Charmed (1998)

0:52 - “Though no one official is prepared to comment, religious groups are calling it Judgment Day.” - Shaun of the Dead (2004)

0:53 - Scouts Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse (2015)

0:54 - Alien (1979)

0:56 - Scream (1996)

0:56 - “Where you gonna go?  Where you gonna fun?  Where you gonna hide?” - Body Snatchers (1993)

0:57 - Boo! A Madea Halloween (2016)

1:00 - Body Snatchers (1993)

1:00 - Scream 2 (1997)

1:01 - The Blob (1958)

1:02 - “That’s death approaching.” - 30 Days of Night (2007)

1:03 - Frankenstein (1931)

1:05 - Predator (1987)

1:06 - Flatliners (1990)

1:07 - Evil Dead 2 (1987)

1:08 - I Know What You Did Last Summer (1997)

1:10 - Needful Things (1993)

1:11 - The Others (2001)

1:12 - Arachnophobia (1990)

1:14 - “We all go a little mad sometimes.” - Psycho (1960)

1:14 - Psycho III (1986)

1:16 - Poltergeist (1982)

1:17 - The Blair Witch Project (1999)

1:19 - Amityville 3-D (1983)

1:20 - Phantasm IV: Oblivion (1998)

1:22 - Grimm (2011)

1:23 - Beetlejuice (1988)

1:24 - Night of the Creeps (1986)

1:26 - Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives (1986)

1:31 - Phantasm (1979)

1:33 - Elvira: Mistress of the Dark (1988)

1:35 - Friday the 13th Part V: A New Beginning (1985)

1:38 - Cursed (2005)

1:39 - The Collector (2009)

1:40 - Laid to Rest (2009)

1:41 - Dracula (1931)

1:42 - “He’s gonna get you.  He’s gonna get you.  The boogeyman is coming!” - Halloween (1978)

1:42 - Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood (1988)

1:43 - A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)

1:44 - This Night I Will Possess Your Corpse (1967)

1:45 - Motel Hell (1980)

1:46 - Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon (2006)

1:47 - Saw: The Final Chapter (2010)

1:48 - Wolfen (1981)

1:49 - Halloween (1978)

1:51 - Return of the Living Dead III (1993)

1:51 - “When there’s no more room in hell, the dead will walk the Earth.” - Dawn of the Dead (1985)

1:52 - The Omen (1976)

1:53 - Dead Snow (2009)

1:54 - The Wolfman (1941)

1:55 - House (1985)

1:56 - The Fog (1980)

1:57 - The Strangers (2008)

1:58 - Creepshow (1982)

1:59 - “Get inside and lock your doors.  There’s something in the fog!” - The Fog (1980)

2:00 - The Mist (2007)

2:01 - Nosferatu (1922)

2:03 - Maniac Cop 2 (1990)

2:05 - [REC] 4: Apocalypse (2014)

2:06 - House of 1000 Corpses (2003)

2:07 - From Dusk Till Dawn (1996)

2:08 - The Final Girls (2015)

2:09 - Near Dark (1987)

2:10 - It (2017)

2:11 - Phantasm II (1988)

2:12 - The Wicker Man (1973)

2:13 - The Walking Dead (2010)

2:14 - Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter (1984)

2:16 - The Gift (2000)

2:17 - Twin Peaks (1990)

2:17 - Deadly Friend (1986)

2:18 - Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982)

2:19 - You’re Next (2011)

2:20 - Sleepwalkers (1992)

2:22 - Saw IV (2007)

2:22 - Supernatural (2005)

2:24 - The Ring (2002)

2:24 - From Dusk Till Dawn (1996)

2:25 - Village of the Damned (1995)

2:26 - The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones (2013)

2:27 - Scream 2 (1997)

2:29 - Eight Legged Freaks (2002)

2:30 - Dawn of the Dead (1985)

2:30 - Scooby-Doo (2002)

2:32 - Night of the Demons 2 (1994)

2:33 - Ouija (2014)

2:33 - Misery (1990)

2:35 - Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers (1989)

2:36 - The Prophecy (1995)

2:37 - Bless the Child (2000)

2:39 - Planet Terror (2007)

2:40 - Zombieland (2009)

2:41 - Gremlins 2: The New Batch (1990)

2:42 - Wait Until Dark (1967)

2:43 - Black Christmas (1974)

2:45 - Madhouse (1974)

2:46 - Poltergeist II: The Other Side (1986)

2:47 - An American Werewolf in London (1981)

2:48 - An American Werewolf in Paris (1997)

2:49 - Teen Wolf (2011)

2:50 - Disturbia (2007)

2:52 - Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1996)

2:54 - Eight Legged Freaks (2002)

2:55 - Scream (1996)

2:56 - The Marsh (2006)

2:57 - Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1996)

2:59 - Willard (2003)

3:01 - Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978)

3:02 - Wind Chill (2007)

3:04 - Predator (1987)

3:05 - Halloween: H20 (1998)

3:07 - Carrie (1976)

3:08 - The Curse of Chucky (2013)

3:09 - Final Destination (2000)

3:10 - The Blob (1988)

3:12 - Texas Chainsaw 3D (2013)

3:13 - Innocent Blood (1992)

3:14 - Bad Moon (1996)

3:15 - The Midnight Meat Train (2008)

3:17 - The X-Files (1993)

3:18 - Bad Moon (1996)

3:18 - Black Water (2007)

3:20 - Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood (1988)

3:21 - The Conjuring (2013)

3:22 - Beetlejuice (1988)

3:23 - Supernatural (2005)

3:24 - Blade (1998)

3:25 - Flatliners (1990)

3:25 - Poltergeist II: The Other Side (1986)

3:26 - Zombieland (2009)

3:27 - Lifeforce (1985)

3:29 - When a Stranger Calls (1979)

3:31 - When a Strangers Calls (2006)

3:32 - Dexter (2006)

3:33 - The Walking Dead (2010)

3:35 - Halloween II (1981)

3:36 - The Frighteners (1996)

3:37 -The Devil’s Rejects (2005)

3:38 - A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master (1988)

3:40 - Halloween (1978)

3:42 - Pulse (2006)

3:43 - The Shining (1980)

3:45 - A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)

3:46 - Dead Snow (2009)

3:47 - Drag Me To Hell (2009)

3:48 - The Descent (2005)

3:51 - The Shining (1980)

3:53 - They Live (1988)

3:57 - The Sixth Sense (1999)

4:00 - 28 Days Later... (2002)

4:01 - Ginger Snaps (2000)

4:02 - Trick ‘r Treat (2007)

4:03 - Jeepers Creepers (2001)

4:04 - Dark Skies (2013)

4:05 - Tremors (1990)

4:07 - Flatliners (2017)

4:08 - Ghostbusters (1984)

4:10 - Urban Legend (1998)

4:11 - Wolf Creek (2005)

4:12 - Dead Silence (2007)

4:14 - Starship Troopers (1997)

4:17 - Se7en (1995)

4:18 - [REC] (2007)

4:19 - Friday the 13th: The Series (1987)

4:20 - Wolf (1994)

4:22 - Friday the 13th (1980)

4:23 - House of 1000 Corpses (2003)

4:25 - Feast (2005)

4:26 - Sleepwalkers (1992)

4:27 - Innocent Blood (1992)

4:28 - The Munsters (1964)

4:30 - The Orphanage (2007)

4:31 - Phantom of the Opera (1943)

4:32 - Candyman (1992)

4:34 - Little Evil (2017)

4:36 - Jaws (1975)

4:37 - Alien Vs. Predator (2004)

4:38 - Hellraiser (1987)

4:40 - Witchtrap (1989)

4:41 - White Noise (2005)

4:42 - The Birds (1963)

4:43 - It (1990)

4:45 - Innocent Blood (1992)

4:46 - Sleepaway Camp (1983)

4:47 - Cursed (2005)

4:48 - Zombieland (2009)

4:50 - Fallen (1998)

4:51 - Insidious (2010)

4:52 - Odd Thomas (2013)

4:53 - Stranger Things (2016)

4:54 - American Gothic (1995)

4:55 - Deadly Blessing (1981)

4:56 - Stigmata (1999)

4:58 - The Exorcist (1974)

5:00 - Leprechaun (1993)

5:01 - From Dusk Till Dawn (1996)

5:03 - American Horror Story (2011)

5:03 - The Silence of the Lambs (1991)

5:05 - Jeepers Creepers (2001)

5:06 - Deadly Blessing (1981)

5:07 - Zodiac (2007)

5:08 - Gremlins (1984)

5:10 - Oculus (2013)

5:12 - The Monster Squad (1987)

5:13 - Poltergeist (1982)

5:14 - The Ring (2002)

5:17 - Stigmata (1999)

5:18 - Phantasm (1979)

5:19 - It (1990)

5:21 - Bride of Frankenstein (1935)

5:22 - The Eye (2008)

5:23 - Drag Me To Hell (2009)

5:24 - Evil Dead II (1987)

5:25 - The Amityville Horror (1979)

5:27 - Nightwatch (1997)

5:28 - The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974)

5:29 - You’re Next (2011)

5:30 - Halloween (1978)

5:31 - American Horror Story (2011)

5:32 - Sinister (2012)

5:33 - The Gift (2000)

5:36 - The Vampire Diaries (2009)

5:39 - The Reaping (2007)

5:40 - Supernatural (2005)

5:41 - The Midnight Hour (1985)

5:43 - Gothika (2003)

5:43 - Midnight, Texas (2017)

5:44 - Ju-On: The Grudge (2002)

5:46 - Interview with the Vampire: The Vampire Chronicles (1994)

5:47 - Gremlins (1984)

5:49 - The ‘Burbs (1989)

5:51 - Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1996)

5:54 - Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1992)

5:55 - The Lost Boys (1987)

5:56 - Grimm (2011)

5:58 - Saw (2004)

6:00 - I Am Legend (2007)

6:01 - Cujo (1983)

6:02 - Dreamscape (1984)

6:03 - Salem’s Lot (1979)

6:04 - Zombie (1979)

6:05 - Army of Darkness (1992)

6:06 - Stranger Things (2016)

6:07 - The Birds (1963)

6:08 - Night of the Living Dead (1968)

6:10 - Zombie (1979)

6:12 - A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010)

6:13 - Creepshow (1982)

6:14 - Doom (2005)

6:15 - Psycho II (1983)

6:16 - Nightwatch (1997)

6:17 - The Walking Dead (2012)

6:17 - Scanners (1981)

6:18 - Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter (1984)

6:19 - Saturn 3 (1980)

6:19 - Play Misty For Me (1971)

6:20 - Twin Peaks (1990)

6:21 - Dreamscape (1984)

6:22 - The Cave (2005)

6:23 - Orphan (2009)

6:24 - Once Bitten (1985)

6:25 - Needful Things (1993)

6:26 - Jason X (2001)

6:27 - Curtains (1983)

6:28 - Silent Rage (1982)

6:29 - The Lost Boys (1987)

6:29 - Witchboard (1986)

6:30 - The Walking Dead (2012)

6:31 - Supernatural (2005)

6:32 - Cabin Fever (2002)

6:33 - Rise: Blood Hunter (2007)

6:34 - A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010)

6:35 - The Breed (2006)

6:36 - The Kiss (1988)

6:37 - Stranger Things (2016)

6:38 - Cold Prey (2006)

6:39 - Land of the Dead (2005)

6:40 - The Cabin in the Woods (2012)

6:41 - Walled In (2009)

6:42 - Twin Peaks (1990)

6:43 - Whisper (2007)

6:44 - The Walking Dead (2012)

6:45 - Darkness Falls (2003)

6:46 - Scouts Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse (2015)

6:47 - The Faculty (1998)

6:48 - A Tale of Two Sisters (2003)

6:49 - Frailty (2001)

6:49 - The Good Son (1993)

6:51 - New Nightmare (1994)

6:52 - The Devil’s Advocate (1997)

6:54 - Vampire in Brooklyn (1995)

6:55 - Grimm (2011)

6:57 - Orphan (2009)

6:57 - Bloody Reunion (2006)

6:58 - House (1985)

6:59 - Pumpkinhead (1988)

7:00 - Don’t Breathe (2016)

7:01 - Disturbia (2007)

7:02 - Tales From the Crypt: Demon Knight (1995)

7:03 - Death Becomes Her (1992)

7:05 - Vampires: Los Muertos (2002)

7:06 - The Host (2006)

7:07 - Knights of Badassdom (2013)

7:08 - Taking Lives (2004)

7:09 - Don’t Breathe (2016)

7:10 The Ward (2010)

7:11 - Once Bitten (1985)

7:12 - Twilight Zone: The Movie (1983)

7:13 - Jennifer’s Body (2009)

7:14 - Nymph (2014)

7:16 - In Dreams (1999)

7:17 - The Return of the Living Dead (1985)

7:18 - Venom (2005)

7:19 - The Conjuring 2 (2016)

7:20 - Child’s Play (1988)

7:23 - Grimm (2011)

7:24 - Legion (2010)

7:26 - Zombieland (2009)

7:27 - Pet Sematary (1989)

7:28 - The Faculty (1998)

7:29 - Critters 3 (1991)

7:30 - The Return of the Living Dead (1985)

7:31 - The Final Girls (2015)

7:32 - Night of the Demons (1988)

7:33 - House of Wax (2005)

7:35 - Dark Shadows (1966)

7:36 - Feast (2005)

7:38 - Critters 3 (1991)

7:40 - Wolf (1994)

7:41 - The Witches of Eastwick (1987)

7:42 - Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (2012)

7:42 - The Faculty (1998)

7:43 - I Still Know What You Did Last Summer (1998)

7:44 - Puppetmaster (1989)

7:46 - The Stepfather (1987)

7:47 - Species (1995)

7:48 - The Return of the Living Dead (1985)

7:51 - Frankenhooker (1990)

7:52 - The Mummy’s Tomb (1942)

7:54 - Night of the Creeps (1986)

7:56 - Tombs of the Blind Dead (1972)

7:57 - It Follows (2014)

8:00 - Doom (2005)

8:02 - Fright Night (1985)

8:03 - Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1996)

8:04 - The Night Stalker (1972)

8:05 - Scanners (1981)

8:07 - The Howling (1981)

8:09 - The Others (2001)

8:10 - Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1996)

8:11 - Horror of Dracula (1958)

8:13 - Angel Heart (1987)

8:14 - The Lost Boys (1987)

8:15 - A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)

8:16 - The Craft (1996)

8:17 - Rosemary’s Baby (1968)

8:19 - Dead Alive (1992)

8:20 - American Psycho (2000)

8:21 - V/H/S (2012)

8:23 - The Skeleton Key (2005)

8:24 - Stir of Echoes (1999)

8:26 - Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982)

8:26 - Boogeyman (2005)

8:27 - Haute Tension (2003)

8:28 - Silent Hill (2006)

8:28 - The Breed (2006)

8:29 - The Hills Have Eyes (2006)

8:30 - The Strangers (2008)

8:31 - Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones (2014)

8:32 - The Reaping (2007)

8:32 - The Fly (1986)

8:33 - Child’s Play 2 (1990)

8:34 - The Omen (1976)

8:35 - The Omen (2006)

8:36 - Grimm (2011)

8:37 - Firestarter (1984)

8:38 - Carrie (1976)

8:39 - Freddy Vs. Jason (2003)

8:40 - End of Days (1999)

8:41 - Final Destination (2000)

8:42 - The Monster Squad (1985)

8:43 - Teen Wolf (2011)

8:44 - Piranha (2010)

8:45 - The Messengers (2007)

8:46 - Saw: The Final Chapter (2010)

8:47 - Maximum Overdrive (1986)

8:48 - The Burning (1981)

8:48 - The Vampire Diaries (2009)

8:49 - The Conjuring (2013)

8:49 - House at the End of the Street (2012)

8:50 - Murder By Numbers (2002)

8:51 - Scream (1996)

8:52 - Tru Calling (2003)

8:54 - Children of the Corn (1984)

8:55 - The Craft (1996)

8:56 - I Saw the Devil (2010)

8:57 - Resident Evil (2002)

8:58 - Tucker and Dale Vs. Evil (2010)

8:59 - Sometimes They Come Back (1991)

9:00 - Visions (2015)

9:01 - Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers (1988)

9:01 - The House on Sorority Row (1983)

9:03 - The Addams Family (1964)

9:04 - Lights Out (2016)

9:04 - I Know What You Did Last Summer (1997)

9:06 - My Bloody Valentine (2009)

9:07 - Children of the Corn (1984)

9:08 - House of the Dead (2003)

9:09 - House of Wax (2005)

9:10 - Scream (1996)

9:11 - Day of the Dead (1985)

9:12 - Re-Animator (1985)

9:12 - What Lies Beneath (2000)

9:13 - Primeval (2007)

9:13 - Paranormal Activity (2007)

9:14 - Dawn of the Dead (2005)

9:15 - Slither (2006)

9:16 - The Final Girls (2015)

9:17 - Paranormal Activity 2 (2010)

9:18 - Planet Terror (2007)

9:19 - Dylan Dog: Dead of Night (2010)

9:20 - The Babadook (2014)

9:21 - Tremors (1990)

9:22 - Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers (1988)

9:23 - Slither (2006)

9:24 - The Town That Dreaded Sundown (1976)

9:25 - Valentine (2001)

9:26 - Vampires (1998)

9:27 - The Vampire Diaries (2011)

9:28 - Pride and Prejudice and Zombies (2016)

9:29 - The Silence of the Lambs (1991)

9:30 - Ticks (1993)

9:31 - Valentine (2001)

9:32 - Hatchet III (2013)

9:33 - The House of the Devil (2009)

9:34 - Beetlejuice (1988)

9:35 - Supernatural (2005)

9:37 - Ghostbusters (1984)

9:38 - Freddy Vs. Jason (2003)

9:39 - Dog Soldiers (2002)

9:41 - Pet Sematary (1989)

9:42 - The Conjuring (2013)

9:43 - The Midnight Hour (1985)

9:44 - The Exorcist III (1990)

9:45 - Salem’s Lot (1979)

9:47 - The Exorcism of Emily Rose (2005)

9:48 - Let the Right One In (2008)

9:48 - Phone (2002)

9:50 - Near Dark (1987)

9:51 - Killer Klowns From Outer Space (1988)

9:52 - Pet Sematary (1989)

9:53 - The Mummy (2017)

9:54 - Haunted (2002)

9:55 - Joy Ride (2001)

9:57 - Stir of Echoes (1999)

9:58 - Just Before Dawn (1981)

9:59 - Blade II (2002)

10:01 - Night Stalker (2005)

10:01 - Shaun of the Dead (2004)

10:03 - Halloween: Resurrection (2002)

10:04 - The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974)

10:05 - Eden Lake (2008)

10:06 - Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers (1988)

10:07 - Bram Stoker’s Dracula (1992)

10:09 - Creepshow (1982)

10:10 - Evil Dead II (1986)

10:12 - Twin Peaks (1990)

10:14 - The Hitcher (1986)

10:16 - A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master (1988)

10:17 - In the Mouth of Madness (1994)

10:20 - Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982)

10:22 - 1408 (2007)

10:24 - Elvira: Mistress of the Dark (1988)

10:26 - Unfriended (2014)

[blogs-of-our-lives]

           I’m sorry to say this, but this may very well be the last of the Blogs of Our Lives post.

           :(

           I’ve had a lot of fun writing for this, but it’s just not what I want to do with my life. And as much as I enjoy it, it’s taking time away from other creative projects. For my tens of viewers, it’s not the end of a chapter, but the beginning of a new one. Thank you all for reading, and believing that I can make something wonderful and funny out of trash. I just want you all to know that deep down, from the bottom of my heart, no matter how much love I have for you all, I will never ever ever love you as much as I hate Brightburn.

             Brightburn suuuuuuuucks. It sucks sucks sucks. I couldn’t wait until later in the post to say that. I had to lead with how trash the movie was, and now I’m going to spend the next couple pages explaining why it’s trash. It’s so bad that I – shitty movie connoisseur, who is making himself watch Days of our Lives and write about it – hated the movie so much that I decided to write a whole paper about it just to prevent someone else from being tricked into seeing it.

           I will start with the only good thing about the movie. The concept. Brightburn is about a young kid (I’d estimate about sixth grade) who discovers he has super powers akin to that of a god. He has super strength, he has super speed, he can fly, he can shoot lasers out of his eyes, and he’s almost indestructible. Essentially Superman. It’s not a particularly original idea, but I was intrigued with the fact that the kid seemed to almost immediately become evil. This isn’t particularly farfetched. In fact, psychopathic traits are fairly common amongst children. The brain isn’t done developing, and in some senses the child is a psychopath. Kids simply grow out of it. Luckily, kids are small, they’re weak, they can’t drive, they can’t vote, and they can’t even get a movie ticket to an R rated movie like Brightburn, which I refuse to grant the respect of italicization. The amount of damage a kid could do is extremely limited. So the idea of a middle-schooler with superpowers is kind of terrifying. Imagine a child without empathy who you can kick your ass. If you tell them to go to bed, they can throw you through a wall. And it’s not a one in a million chance the kid will be a psychopath. Plus, when I was a kid I used to think when it rained somewhere it rained everywhere. It blew my mind that it was raining in my hometown but not in my friend’s town. When my dad was a kid he was terrified of this movie called Killdozer. About a bulldozer that came to life and killed people. In his words, “What are you going to do, hide from it? It’ll just bulldoze everything.” Kids are idiots.

           Side note, I hope it’s not lost on anyone that I italicized Killdozer but not Brightburn. It’s intentional. I respect a movie about a killer bulldozer more than a $12 million movie.

           Anyway, that was the only good part of the movie. The concept. Now I’m going to tear it apart, starting with the pacing. Nobody really knows or cares about the pacing when it’s done right. When it’s done wrong, the movies often feel like they stagnate or are rushed in parts. Brightburn is one of the worst examples I can think of. The buildup just drags on and on and on and on. By the time [SPOILER ALERT] Brendon (or whatever the fucking kid’s name is) turns evil, we had been sitting in that theater for a solid hour. Maybe more. That’s two thirds of the movie (including credits) that was spent just building up. So now, when we finally get the action payoff, it felt like the movie was rushing to the end. The kid destroys most of the house, kills four people, and then blows up a plane in like twenty minutes. It’s like trying to write on a piece of paper and running out of room so you have to make the letters smaller and smaller to fit on one page. But it’s a thousand times worse than that, because the paper had a set length. You could plan out where the letters needed to go and how big they can be. A movie isn’t made with a length in mind. So it’s like reading a sentence but the letters get smaller and smaller for no clear reason. It felt like they didn’t know how to end the movie so they just threw some crap together and tried to play it so fast we wouldn’t realize how trash it was.

           On to the acting. I have no real complaints. The mom and the dad did pretty good jobs. Even the kid did a decent job. At times it was pretty weak, but I think most of that was on the writing.

           Fuck the writing. The Chekov’s guns of the movie were stupid and obvious. In one of the first scenes, the mother whistles during a game of hide and seek in order to get him to whistle back, like an off-brand Marco Polo. My editor literally leaned over to me (like two minutes into the movie) and whispered “I bet that’s going to come back later.” It did. Later on in the movie, the dad comments to the mom that it was strange Braxton had never broken a bone or even got a cut. Like two scenes later, the kid finds his space ship and immediately cuts his hand on the metal. Sure enough, it comes back later in the film, in a way so stupid that I’m going to struggle to put it into words. The mother jumps to freedom from her house and somehow cuts her hand during the fall. She looks at the cut (which is shaped exactly like Bryson’s and positioned in the exact same place), looks at the barn where the spaceship is hidden, looks back at the cut, and says (I’m paraphrasing) “The spaceship! It’s the only thing that can hurt him.” The biggest sign of a bad writer is when the characters think about what they’re about to do, say what they’re about to do, and then do it. JUST DO IT. I remembered the garbage scene from earlier in the film that established the only thing that can hurt him. Who was that line for? Children who weren’t paying attention? The film was rated R. Maybe they assumed the only people they could trick into seeing this trash were too stupid to follow a plot. And yes, I’m one of the idiots they tricked into watching it. Jokes on them, now I’m tearing their movie apart on my blog with tens of readers.

           I’ve told you guys about I, Frankenstein. The movie was worse than that. At least the writing in I, Frankenstein, while bad, followed a formula. There was never a point in which I rolled my eyes, it just in generally wasn’t particularly good. Brightburn, on the other hand, was aggressively bad. It was like all the different facets of a movie (acting, special effects, writing, pacing, visuals) had a competition to be the worst part of this dumpster fire of a film. I’m being too hard on the special effects. They were just wildly unmemorable, not actually bad. But somehow, incredibly, Brightburn was even worse than the sum of its parts. At a certain point, I looked up and started watching the blinking light of the fire alarm. There wasn’t really a pattern to it. I was fascinated. At another point, during the resolution of the movie, a man sitting behind me got out his phone and made a phone call. And you know what, I don’t blame him. It wasn’t like he was taking away from the experience. I was glad he was having more fun than me.

           Something I didn’t realize until now, when I looked up Brightburn on Wikipedia to trash how much money went into making it ($6-12 million, so honestly they used the money pretty well), was that it’s called a “superhero horror film.” I took a class my last year in college about Horror as a genre, and the running theme of the class was the question what is horror? I’ll define horror as best as I can, and you are all free to agree or disagree as to whether or not it’s true. I personally do not consider Silence of the Lambs to be a horror film, though it is scary. It’s a crime film. Even if the film contained supernatural elements (like, say, if Hannibal Lecter was a ghost and rather than breaking out of prison he comes back to life), it would still be a crime film. On the other hand, I consider the movie Friday the 13th (the 1980 film with Kevin Bacon, not the trash remake) to be horror. Even if the film contained no supernatural elements, it would still be a horror film. Friday the 13th Part 1 doesn’t actually contain anything supernatural, but if I mentioned one that does (Parts 2-12) I wouldn’t have gotten the opportunity to remind everyone that a young Kevin Bacon not only dies in this movie, but also has a sex scene. It’s arguably his strongest performance.

           Returning to my point, a universal part of horror seems to be the haunting. It doesn’t need to be a ghost haunting, it could be a human haunting as well. I’m sure it exists, but a movie about a stalker could easily be classified as horror, depending on the tone of the movie. Hell, The Gift was a great horror movie, and nothing supernatural or even particularly out of the ordinary took place. Looking at IMDB’s top 10 horror movies of all time, it lists The Evil Dead, The Exorcist, The Shining, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Halloween, Alien, The Thing, Nightmare on Elm Street (trash), Psycho, and The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari. Of these movies, I haven’t seen Psycho, The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari, or The Exorcist (at least not all the way through). In every single one of the films I have seen, the characters are haunted by some kind of being. In some movies, they’re hunted by it, and in others (particularly the Exorcist), they’re tormented by it. But either way, a haunting is an essential part of every movie. In Silence of the Lambs (IMDB rated it as the 14th best horror movie, naturally), the killer never haunts the characters. He’s a menace, a killer, and a danger to everyone, but he doesn’t haunt them.

           Brando from Brightburn never haunts anyone, except for a ten second scene where he spies on his crush, which was honestly more cringey than creepy. So no, it’s not a superhero horror movie. It’s not a horror movie. If you want to call it anything, call it science fiction. The kid’s an alien, for Christ’s sake. Isn’t that like the number one test to see if you’re watching sci-fi? Right now, if you google “horror movies,” Brightburn is one of the first 10 images to appear. THIS IS UNNACEPTABLE.

           I’m sure I’ve talked about this before, but horror has always been a trash genre. I don’t want to give off the impression that I’m the horror equivalent of a comic book nerd writing about how The Avengers ruined my childhood and it was all wrong because they got one detail wrong from the source material. [Side note: I really enjoyed Endgame, and at the time of writing this, it is the number one highest grossing film of all time, and honestly it deserves it more than the trash blue cat people movie. It was a really satisfying ending to one of the largest franchises of all time]. Even the golden years of horror, the Friday the 13ths and the Nightmare on Elm Streets and Halloween, are all just… pretty good. The writing was competent, the music and cinematography were original and not bad, but it’s not particularly scary, and it looks like every horror movie will eventually become that way, except for the ones that rely on cheap jump scares. That’s the nature of horror, I suppose. It preys on a current and relevant fear, and as that fear becomes irrelevant, so does the movie. So when I complain about modern horror, I complain about the cheap, shitty writing that goes into by uncreative and unoriginal people that disappoints everyone. Modern horror is an easy paycheck. It’s cheap and it’s surefire. The Brightburn garbage raised $30 million dollars on a budget of $6 million. Pet Semetary, Crawl, and Annabelle Comes Home raised a collective $366 million to a collective budget of $66 million. That is a fucking absurd return on investment. None of these movies (except for Crawl, kinda) did anything different. Pet Semetary was a remake. Annabelle Comes Home is a continuation of the Garbage Cinematic Uni-garbage-verse that spawned from The Conjuring. So horror has become a yearly money-maker for big production companies. Just put out some trash that will surprise (not scare) people, and watch the dollars roll in. Financially, this is the golden age of horror. They can make anything with a jump scare and make MILLIONS.

           I don’t know what the point of all this is. I’m not telling the genre to do better, because it’s doing pretty fine. Midsommar and Us both got pretty good reviews. Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark looks pretty good. It’s not like all the talent dried up. There’s still plenty of creative and original people working on horror movies, and they’re making some really good stuff. I guess it boils down to me hating Brightburn on a deep, personal level, and I’m not really sure why. I watch tons of trash. As I type this, I’m looking at my collector’s edition DVD set of Under the Dome. It’s garbage. Truly truly terrible. But there are scenes I liked. Shots I liked. It was made by people who were bad at what they do, but they were still creative. There’s this one episode where the government tries to blow up the dome, and everyone inside thinks they’re going to die. All the characters, thinking they have minutes left on earth, all finally do something. The plot unravels into something much, much, much simpler, as all the characters stop lying or trying to hide their motives. Everything untangles for just a moment, and after they survive the blast unharmed, it leaves the question what next? Sure, the conflicts were childish and silly, and the character arcs were (to put it nicely) poorly handled. But they tried to do something well, and for just a moment they struck gold. There’s nothing like that in Brightburn. There’s not a single scene that I can look at in the movie and say you’re on to something there. Keep working. If I were given the script and a blank check and told to write a better one, I would strip it down to the foundation. I wouldn’t rewrite it, I would delete everything except the core premise and start over.

           It just really really hurts, having to type out that this movie was worse than Under the Dome.

           I know it’s too late to convince anyone not to see Brightburn. And that’s fine. Sometimes the world moves too fast for you to make a change. But I just want you to know deep down how much I hate that movie. I resent it for wasting my time, my energy, and my money. It’s worse than Days of our Lives.

           Fuck you, Brightburn.

           Thank you for reading. It means a lot to me.

[chemicalmagecraft]

The Gamer Hero, Deku Chapter 2

A/N: Wow, thanks for all you guys who left nice reviews and stuff. Sorry it took me so long to update, but I had a play I had to go to a lot of practices for, which was especially annoying because of the four scenes I was in, I only had an important role in one.

To LadyCalus, I have no idea how to do that.

To the user known as Iliekfishes, I would like to say that, while I do not appreciate your tone, I do appreciate that you gave me some criticism. Now, to address what you said, I said that I hadn't seen any My Hero Academia/Gamer fanfiction, which was at the time true. I have, however, checked some out after you pointed that out to me. If it bothers you that much, though, I can edit it if you ask nicely. As for the formatting, I do admit to using Ryuji's The Games We Play as a sort of reference for the formatting, as I remember that that fanfic was very faithful in formatting to the original webcomic and I couldn't remember how exactly it went. Now, while I can deal with you insulting me to a certain point, I would prefer you not call the other viewers names. I also have no clue what "almost all the tension is midigated by cannon" means. Finally, while I didn't mean to make it seem like I was anyone's gift to fanfiction aside from my own, much less God's, I do apologize if I unintentionally gave off that vibe. If you can possibly think of any tips to not sound like a jackass, I would be willing and grateful to hear them out. Sorry for putting you on the spot like that, but you did call people who were nice to me dumbasses, which I very much do not appreciate.

To Voltrasin, I understand your confusion, but the reason why Kamui Woods and Mt. Lady had ? for titles is because Izuku can't see the titles and levels of anyone fifty or more levels over his. Should've made that more clear, sorry. And yes, all heroes will have their hero names as their titles.

Also, I forgot to include map and quest log to the main menu. Fixed it, but I figured I should let you know

Now, on with the story!

xoxoxo

I stared at the pile of sludge in front of me. "Well, kid, seems like you were in the wrong place at the wrong time. Unfortunately for you, I need a disguise." Ping. I looked at the new text box.

A new skill has been created through special action! Repeated exposure to bloodthirst has created the skill 'Sense Bloodthirst' to sense ill will.

Yeah, no thanks. I jumped out of the way as he lunged at me. "Observe"

Name: Kurosawa Shou

Title: Sludge Monster

Level: 26

HP: 1600/1600

MP: 500/500

STR: 30

VIT: 39

DEX: 34

INT: 16

WIS: 6

LUC: 6

Quirk: Sludge Body

Emotions: Grateful, bloodthirsty

Status: Sludge body

"Itadakimasu!" the slime said as part of his body shot out and stuck to my ankle. I gasped and quickly bent down to try and tear him off of me before he could do anything more to me. Unfortunately, my fingers slipped through him with little resistance. "Get over here!" he yelled, and I was yanked into him. As I was painfully dragged across the ground, I heard a ping, but I was a little too distracted by the sludge villain trying to eat me or something. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to get away from him before he submerged me in himself and started trying to force himself down my throat. It was at this moment that I noticed something in the corner of my eye that I could somehow see perfectly fine.

HP: 184/250

MP: 275/275

And the HP was slowly going down as I struggled with the sludge villain. That was not a good sign. I struggled harder, but I couldn't get out. I thought I was going to die there. I heard another ping and looked up, hoping it was something I could use.

A new skill has been created through special action! Through repeatedly enduring damage, the skill 'Physical Endurance' has been created.

Due to struggling while unable to breathe, your VIT has raised by one!

Crap. Normally that would be good, but I couldn't use them to escape. My HP was still draining and my vision was starting to go dark. "Am I going to die here?" I thought. Just before I blacked out, though, I heard something.

"TEXAS SMASH!"

xoxoxo

When I came to, someone was lightly slapping me on the cheek. "Hey! Wake up!" a familiar voice said. I groaned and looked up to see... "Whew! Thought we lost you there!"

?

LV?

Toshinori Yagi

The name wasn't familiar, but there was no mistaking who the large, muscled, blonde man was. "ALL MIGHT!" I scrambled to my feet, now aware that I had been rescued by my idol. "Can I have your autograph?" He grinned and pointed at my hero analysis notebook, which must have slipped out of my backpack during the struggle. I opened it to the All Might page and beamed at the autograph that he'd written on it. "THANK YOU!"

"Good to hear it, kid! Always great to see a fan! Nowifyoudon'tmindmeIhavetogoturnthisvillainin!" He rushed out that last part while pointing to two soda bottles that the villain was stuffed in and then jumped away. Of course, by then... "WHAT ARE YOU DOING, KID?! LET GO!" I had stupidly grabbed onto his leg.

"If I let go I'll die!" I yelled back over the wind.

"GOOD POINT!" he said. He landed on a nearby roof and let me off. "I have to go now! Knock on the door and someone should let you down!" He made to jump again.

"Wait!" I yelled and closed my eyes. "All my life, I've looked up to you. I've wanted to be a hero just like you. But... my Quirk has only just surfaced. I'm sure it has potential, but it's going to take a lot of training for me to be able to use it as a hero. Even with potential, though, the exams to get into Yuuei are in ten months. Do you think I can still get into Yuuei?" I looked at him for an answer, but... "WHAT!?"

All Might

LV 9

Toshinori Yagi

If it weren't for the title confirming it, I'd have thought that he was a different person. Sure, he was blonde and very tall, but he was almost literally skin and bones! I guess whatever the hell just happened to him to make him a scarecrow was also what lowered his level, but... "Observe"

Name: Toshinori Yagi

Title: All Might

Level: 9

HP: 500/500

MP: 1100/1100

STR: 11

VIT: 4

DEX: 19

INT: 52

WIS: 35

LUC: 9

Quirk: One For All

Emotions: Annoyed, concerned

Status: Totally Fucked Up

"What happened to you, All Might?"

He sighed, then coughed up some blood. "Before I say anything, I need you to promise me you won't say a word of this to anyone. Don't go blabbing about this online, don't tell your friends, don't even say anything to your family. Got it?"

I nodded vigorously. "I won't tell anyone. It's obviously a big deal."

He sat down and raised up his now-baggy shirt, revealing a giant wound on his... everywhere... that could only be described as "Totally Fucked Up." It looked like someone took a fusion between a sledgehammer and a blender to his chest. "I was in a really bad fight five years ago. Took the villain down, but not before getting this ugly thing in return. By all rights, I should've died by now. Luckily, I 'only' got off with constantly coughing up blood and only being able to do hero work three hours a day."

"Toxic Chainsaw couldn't do that do you!"

"You really know your heroes, huh? No, it was another fight. I made sure nobody would hear about it, otherwise there'd have been a lot of panic. Kid, if you wanna be a hero, maybe you should wait a bit. Put it off 'til college or something, when you can actually use your Quirk." He got up and left through the door. I just stood there, stunned. Then I saw a giant explosion. "That's either a villain or Kacchan snapped," I said. "I wonder which one." Ping. "What's that?"

A quest has been created!

A quest?

What Now, Kacchan!?

You just saw an explosion! Maybe you should investigate.

Time limit: 30 minutes.

Well, I had nothing better to do... I looked down to see what I assumed were the rewards.

Completion: 2000 EXP, ?, ?, ?.

Failure: Bakugou Katsuki dies.

Okay. Definitely doing that now. Even if it could be considered vigilante work, I really didn't want Kacchan to die. I decided to run for it.

xoxoxo

When I got there, I saw a crowd of people standing just outside of the safe area. I pushed my way through the crowd to see the sludge villain from earlier in the middle of a flaming street, struggling with someone who was inside him. "Did he get loose when I grabbed onto All Might?" I thought. "Is this my fault?" I looked at the titles.

Sludge Monster

LV 26

Kurosawa Shou

Lord Explosion Murder

LV 14

Bakugou Katsuki

It was Kacchan in there! Before I knew what was happening, I was running in there. Ping. I looked at the text box.

New objective! Save Bakugou.

Welp. Looks like I made the right call. I focused back on the sludge villain in time to see him turning towards me. "You came back for some more, huh, kid? Well I'll kill you if you want it so badly!" The sludge villain looked like he was about to lunge, so I threw my backpack at his face. He flinched and yelled at me. I ran up to him and started tearing at the sludge around Kacchan's face. I heard a ping but didn't stop to look at it. I managed to get the sludge off of Kacchan's mouth. He gasped, coughed a bit, and then yelled, "GET AWAY, FUCKING DEKU! YOU'RE GONNA DIE!" That was either a death threat or he was actually concerned about me. Either way, my response was the same.

"What kind of hero would I be if I let you die?" I would've said something else, but my Sense Danger activated and I jumped back just in time to not get hit by a gooey punch.

"I'LL KILL YOU!" The sludge villain yelled. I would've done something but then I heard a pair of pings.

"I'M PATHETIC! DETROIT! SMASH!" a familiar voice yelled. A rush of air extinguished all of the fires and somehow blew the sludge villain apart while leaving Kacchan untouched. A few seconds later it randomly started raining. I looked to where the blast originated and saw All-Might standing there. "I'm sorry, boys."

xoxoxo

"What were you thinking!? You could have gotten yourself killed!" The heroes were not happy I rushed in there. I didn't really want to pay attention to their lectures, so I just looked at my text boxes. One of them congratulated me on how I made some sort of ripping skill my tearing the sludge off of Kacchan. It didn't look too good, but maybe I could work with it. The other one, though...

Congratulations! The quest What Now, Kacchan!? was completed!

Completion Rewards: 2000 EXP, Increased closeness with Toshinori Yagi, Access to the Skill Grimoir system, 3000 Skill Fragments

Your level has increased by one!

That... was something. At least I was level six now, even if I had no idea what a Skill Grimoir system was. Or what the heck I do with Skill Fragments. All I knew was that a bunch of balls like Munny from Kingdom Hearts swirled around me before getting absorbed into my body after All Might hit the villain, which apparently everyone saw and I had to explain that I had no idea what the heck happened there to the heroes. Turns out that random balls getting absorbed into the idiot kid who stupidly ran into the villain attack is normally a red flag of some sort. Specifically that, apparently. That is a really specific scenario to be wary of. At any rate, they eventually let me go when I promised that I wouldn't do anything too stupid without adult supervision. I was walking home when...

"HEY! DEKU!" A fuming Kacchan shoved himself at my face. "I DON'T EVER NEED YOUR HELP! IF YOU EVER TRY TO BAIL ME OUT LIKE THAT AGAIN, I'LL KILL YOU!" Just to make his point, he let out an explosion aimed at the sky as he walked away. I sighed and continued along my way... for all of five seconds before All Might ran out in front of me.

"I AM HERE!"

"All Might! What are you doing here? Weren't you speaking to the press?"

"HA HA HA HA! I STAND FOR JUSTICE, NOT SOUNDBITES! FOR I, I AM ALL MI-plghght!" He started to go on this big speech before spewing out blood and shrinking down to his civilian form. I gave him a few minutes to clean himself off before he said, "Young man, I came to thank you and apologize. If you hadn't told me that you couldn't use your Quirk, if you hadn't ran in there... I would've been a worthless bystander, too afraid to do anything. So thanks."

"All Might, I-"

"I'm not done. You told me you couldn't really use your power, so when I saw this boy who might as well be Quirkless try to save a life, it inspired me too. There are stories about every hero, how they became great. Most have one thing in common. Their bodies moved before they had a chance to think, almost on their own. And today, that's what happened to you." I'm not going to lie, I teared up at this part. A lot. "Young man, you too can become a hero!"

"I-I don't know what too say! Thank you!"

"And I'm going to give you my Quirk, too!"

"Wait, what?"

"My Quirk. It's called One For All. It's a special power that can be passed on from one generation to the next, cultivated by one user then given on to a successor." He patted the OH GOD wound. "I won't be able to be a hero much longer, so I've been meaning to find someone to give One For All. It's actually why I came here. So, kid. Whaddya say? Wanna be the next All Might?"

midoriyaizuku.exe has stopped working. Reboot? Y/N

Y

"WHAT!?" I yelled.

"I want you to be my successor. I'll also help train you to use your Quirk even if you don't want my Quirk, so don't worry about that."

I bowed. "All Might, I'd be honored!"

"Great, kid! Let's trade phone numbers." All Might asked me for my phone number. ALL MIGHT ASKED ME FOR MY PHONE NUMBER! I gave him my phone number and he gave me mine. "I'll call you when I get everything ready. See you then!" He then walked off. I spent the rest of my walk home in silence, contemplating what just happened today. It was so crazy! But one thing was for sure. One thing that I had to do the second I got home. I walked in the door and immediately said, "Mom! I have to tell you something!"

Mom immediately came running and said, "What is it, honey?" She looked a little nervous.

I gulped. "Mom," I said, "I have a Quirk." The look on her face, that look of relief, joy, and excitement, was something I knew I'd cherish for years to come.

xoxoxo

A/N: Oh, snap! Ain't this a twist! Yeah, I'm way too much of a wuss to deal with the implications of Izuku being able to print money and I didn't know how to get Izuku magic without flat-out introducing magic otherwise, so I just combined the two problems into one solution. Izuku's going to figure out what that Skill Fragment and Skill Grimoir thing does soon, and I won't say anything more until them. Also yes, Izuku is going to make progressively more video game references if I can remember to do it. Seriously, the Gamer needs game shout-outs!

Anyways, I'll see y'all next time! Let's hope I manage to update this thing sometime within a month next!

[moczothe1st]

Let’s Play Fire Emblem IV: Genealogy of the Holy War, Part 15: The Kids are All Right

Part 14

Welcome back to Fire Emblem IV.  When we last met, you may recall the entire world went to shit.  Before we get into too much of anything, let’s see the aftermath play out. 

SPOILERS AHEAD, SERIOUSLY READ PART 14 FIRST.

Just as he had planned, this left Arvis as the sole ruling power of the kingdom.

and so Arvis unified all Jugdral under Grannvale’s rule. With overwhelming support from his subjects, Arvis thus became the first Emperor of the Grannvale Empire.

Seventeen years have passed since the battle of Belhalla.

Now struggle under his oppressive, dictatorial rule. Across Jugdral, in the other realms now dominated by Grannvale, their people have been reduced to living as little more than slaves to the Empire’s whims.

(Oh hey look, the evil alliance with the priests of the Dark Lord didn’t produce that utopia after all.  How weird.)  

Just like his late father, Duke Langbalt.  While he lives an indulgent life at the Rivough palace, the people are treated as little more than slave labor.

(And they’re handsome, so they aren’t pure evil. They are, however, pretty awful as we’ll be seeing. Also a pair of total morons, but that’s nothing new.)  

Under their rule, Isaach knows no freedom. However, one last hope remains for Isaach.  Tirnanog, an isolated village in the kingdom’s far north…

(Damn, Shanan grew up to be a black-haired Sephiroth!)

whose strength grows with each passing day. Among these proud, young warriors is a young man, dubbed “The Scion of Light” by the people of Isaach and revered as the rightful prince of the Grannvale Empire.  

Danaan: Shanan and his rebel ilk are growing stronger by the day, and now they hamper us at every turn! And as if that weren’t enough, they harbor the spawn of Sigurd the Traitor! The very existence of this scum utterly defiles my authority over the Isaachian throne! How do you expect me to explain this sorry state to His Imperial Majesty?!

Harold: A thousand apologies, your highness, but everything is already under control.  The rebel hideout has been found, and even as we speak an army is on its way to crush them. Those vile rats have nowhere else to run! By sundown, not a single rebel will still be breathing.

Danaan: Hm. Very well. But be warned, Harold. Don’t even think of underestimating them. Most of the rebels are too young to pose a threat, but they still have Oifey and Shanan.  Those two alone are extremely dangerous. Dismissing them would be a fatal mistake .

(And I bet that is a sentence you never expected to hear during the first generation.)

Harold: Yes, sir, I’m aware. But I’ve already had Tirnanog, the rebel hideout, surveyed in secret, and neither are anywhere in sight. It’s safe to assume them currently absent, sir.

Danaan: WHAT?! Then why are we still talking about this?! Send the order to move in immediately! The people of Isaach are treating these rebels like some kind of heroes of freedom… but it’s time they learned the error of their ways! Kill them! All of them! I’ll be returning to Rivough. I expect nothing but good news!

Beautiful Man #452: A brigade’s set out from Geneishire and they seem to be headed our way.

(Gee, I wonder whose daughter she is.)

Ayra 2.0: Let them come, I say! It only makes the battle easier for us! It’ll be simple to just walk right over to Ganeishire and pick them off as we go!

Ulster: You’ve gotta be kidding! Prince Shanan’s still off trying to find the Yied Shrine, and Oifey and the others aren’t back yet. It’s just us two against an entire army! Surely, even you can’t think this’ll end well!

Ayra 2, The Astra Continues: I don’t care! You can sit here and be scared witless if you want, but I’m not letting a chance like this pass! The prince still treats us like helpless children, but come one! We’ve had more than enough training! We’re ready for real action!

Ulster: But…

The Aympire Strikes Back: I’m… I’m NOT gonna run away anymore! I’m sick to death of sitting here while those monsters butcher our friends! Or worse… the empire’s thugs are still out there, snagging every girl they see… If Prince Shanan hadn’t come for me that day, I’d be just another one of them. Dead, or wishing I was… I won’t forgive or forget their pain!

Ulster: No, that’s not it, Larcei… You’re right, it’s horrible, but…

Seliph: Most likely, I assume Shanan would have given you strict orders to keep me safe. After all, if he hadn’t, you’d already be out there in the fray! To not be thirsting for a good fight just isn’t the Ulster I know.

Larcei: Oh… that’s… that’s right. Sorry, sir. I was hoping we didn’t have to involve you…

Seliph: I’m no child anymore either, Larcei. If you two plan to fight, I plan to fight by your side. There’s more at stake today than only the resistance. What of Tirnanog? We owe so much to its people. I refuse to abandon them at such a critical hour!

Ulster: But…

Seliph: We’ve no time to waste debating this! Lana, stay behind and help the citizens. We’ll engage the foe in the western gully.

Lana: This is my fight too! You won’t convince me anymore than you could convince Larcei! Every day I think the Empire can’t get any more cruel, and every day I’m proven wrong. They prey on the weak and vulnerable as if snuffing out their lives is a game to them… I can’t sit quietly and accept it! I may not be able to fight, but I’ve my own way of defending everyone!

Seliph: Hm… my apologies, Lana.  You are absolutely right: the battle for Isaach’s freedom rests upon all of us. Very well, we shall all go together! How this will turn out, I cannot say…

(Well, it can’t go worse than when your father tried it with his three buddies. … Not a challenge, game.)

Seliph: But we owe it to all of Isaach to give this battle no less than our best.

Lana: Yes, Milord! And, er…. Sorry. I shouldn’t have spoken so brashly.  

Seliph: Ha!  You’ve nothing to apologize for. Now Ulster, Larcei, Lana… the time has come. Move out!

And here we go.

The game tries to trick you into thinking it’s called ‘Genealogy’ because of the importance of the Crusader’s bloodlines, but that’s only half the story.  This is also the first Fire Emblem game to feature a second generation, determined by the Lover bonds you made between the units in your first generation. It’s a revolutionary mechanic that would later be picked up on by modern ultra-popular games Awakening and Fates, and…

God, it’s so badly done. It really is.  

The thing is, the game never tells you the second-generation inheritance mechanics exist, or how they work. It never even tells you how to get two first-generation units to hook up, though that’s easy enough to work out (‘Have them stand next to each other a lot’). The only hints you get are from villages in the battle of Belhalla map, by which point it’s already far too late to really fine-tune anything.  Basically it’s a situation where you either already know what you want to do going into the game (like me) or you get screwed (like me during my first playthrough when I was playing blind).  

And the thing is, this is important.  It’s not a minor detail, it affects your entire army for the whole second half of the game.  Marry off the wrong people, or god forbid don’t marry anyone at all, and you can end up hamstringing yourself pretty severely.  The general mechanics are as follows:

1)     Every female character in the army will have two children if they have been paired up with a male character.  The only automatic pairings are Sigurd/Deirdre and Quan/Ethlyn.  They will have one male child and one female child. The characters are determined by mother only; Ayra will always have Larcei and Ulster no matter who she marries, for example. The father will affect their stats and abilities as listed below.  

2)     Children will inherit a small boost to their starting stats, based on their parents’ final stats at the end of chapter five.  

3)     The children will have the same growth rates as their same-gendered parent, boosted by +50% of their opposite gendered parents growth rates.  They also inherit Holy Blood; if one of the parents has Major Blood, then the child of their gender will get that while the opposite-gendered child gets Minor.  For example, Seliph has Sigurd’s Major Baldur Blood, but also inherits Minor Naga Blood from Deirdre.   Unfortunately, most of Deirdre’s growths are hot garbage so his physical growths aren’t much better than Sigurd’s, but he does get a fairly impressive 30% Resistance growth thanks to her, so he’ll end up a much better mage-killer than his dad, and thanks to his combination of Holy Bloods he gets a 140% HP growth rate. This means he’s guaranteed to gain health every level, and has a 40% chance to gain two HP instead of one.    

4)     Children will inherit any items they can use from the inventory of their same-gendered parents. For example: Larcei and Ulster are Ayra and Jamke’s kids.  Larcei inherits Ayra’s gear, and since she can use anything Ayra can, she gets it all. Ulster, by contrast, doesn’t inherit any weapons because he can’t use Jamke’s bows, but he does inherit the two rings that Jamke was wearing, the Renewal Band and the Leg Ring. Items that could not be inherited will show up later, either in the shops or as droppable items off enemy soldiers. (Seliph does not inherit Tyrfing, because of story reasons, but he does inherit all of Sigurd’s other gear. Somehow).  They also inherit a portion of their parents’ combined gold supplies.

5)     Children will inherit the combined skills of both parents.  This is where it starts to get ridiculous, because some of those abilities you probably remember as absurd gamebreakers: Both of Ayra’s kids here inherit her already bonkers skillset of Pursuit, Nihil, and Astra, but they also pick up Adept and Accost from Jamke.  This means they have three different ways to double-attack and any one of them can also proc Astra, turning them into basically living chainsaws. The one caveat to remember is that for some reason, Astra, Sol, and Luna can only be inherited by non-mounted characters who use swords.  No, the game won’t tell you ahead of time which characters have such children. Why do you ask?  

Fun, right? And of course, if a female character doesn’t get married or dies before Chapter 5, then instead of her children you get a pair of substitute characters who will be the same (or very similar) class, but have much different skills, abilities, and stats… most typically ones that are markedly inferior. Though admittedly not always (In particular, a lot of veteran players will tell you the replacement children for Sylvia are better than her actual kids, no matter who their dad is. But I swore I would get them all and I keep my goddamn promises). The much bigger problem with them is that they don’t inherit the items. This is just an inconvenience in most cases, since as mentioned above those items will reappear… but in the case of the Holy Weapons, they’re gone forever since the bloodline that could use them has died out.  If Bridget doesn’t get married? Yewfelle is really no-take-backsies lost forever.  Same with Lewyn’s Forseti and Claude’s Valkyrie.  And to make matters worse, those two idiots have to marry someone who has a son that uses the right weapon type, and the game never tells you who that might be.  Lewyn gets off easy: The game pushes him at both Erin and Sylvia, each of whom will have a kid that can use Forseti (though Sylvia… makes it very complicated on you). But Claude… the game pushes him at Taillte when he first joins, and while her son will inherit Claude’s Holy Blood he cannot. Use. Staves.  

FUN, RIGHT?!  

*sigh*

Well.  Now that that’s done, let’s take a look at what we’ve actually got to work with for this map.  

Meet Seliph, our new Lord. He’s not bad, though he won’t be his dad’s equal for awhile; the Silver Sword is only a few kills away from being upgraded to gain the Critical skill, which will help him out a lot.  I also… discretely ensured Sigurd had the Paragon Band, so he’ll level up quickly to make up for the fact he’s generally our weakest fighter right now.  Unfortunately, he gets hurt a little in his base stats because Deirdre’s aren’t typically great except for Magic and Resistance, and Sigurd’s are so awful that Seliph will always start out low on them regardless.  For Holy Blood he has Major Baldur and Minor Naga, giving him an impressive total of +50% to HP growth, and +20% each to Strength, Magic, Skill, Luck, and Resistance. So he may start slow, but unless we get really unlucky he’ll pick up fast.

Larcei and Ulster get combined into one entry since barring the fact Larcei has more Skill and Ulster has more luck, they’re identical at the moment. Which is to say amazing. Five very good skills, solid physical stats across the board, and Minor Odo Blood (+20%HP, +30% Skill). The only real reason Larcei is better at the moment is that she inherited her mom’s swords.  These two could clear the map by themselves.

And finally, Lana, Aideen and Midir’s daughter. She’s one of the kids who is almost impossible to screw up; Aideen by herself has perfectly good stats and growths for a Priest, so anyone she marries will just be icing on Lana’s perfectly good healer cake.  In her case, Aideen’s phenomenal growth in Part 1 means she starts off with unusually good base stats for a level one healer, and she already has access to several great staves (though that Physic staff will need repaired soon, dammit I should have done that last chapter).  She inherited Pursuit and Accost as skills from Midir, but she won’t be able to use them until she promotes and can fight; when she does, she’ll be even better in combat than her mom was. And of course, she’s still got Mom’s Minor Ullur Blood for +20% HP and +30% luck growths… and for skill in the bows that she still will never be able to use.

Now then… TO WAR!

….

Oh, there’s no enemy units in range.  

Now then… TO MOVE INTO THE MOVEMENT RANGE OF WAR!

End turn.

Not to give you an inferiority complex, bro, but your dad would have killed that guy in his first map.  Though, in point of fact, this isn’t so bad; he has the Paragon band, he doesn’t really need kills to get experience yet. It’s better to use him as a decoy for now and let Ulster and Larcei mop up after him.

Like so. This strategy in mind, I move Seliph forward as far as he can manage, into the range of a few other units, and leave the others hanging slightly back.  Nobody has been damaged yet, so Lana sits there looking cute. End turn!

Dammit, one was close enough to go for Larcei. I should have checked before I moved her. Ah well, plenty to go around, we’re outnumbered like twenty-five to four.  

Ooooh, make that twenty-five to seven. Three new dudes pop in when our turn starts, and they have horses!

Blue Hair #76: I hope everyone’s doing all right…

Blondie: What if Lana’s gone and gotten herself mixed up in the fighting? She can’t defend herself at all if she’s out in the open like this?

(“GEE, THANKS FOR ASSUAGING MY FEARS, YOU ARE SUCH A GOOD FRIEND.”)

Blondie: Sir, we should hurry back. The sooner we get back to Lord Seliph’s side, the better.  

Porn Stache: Indeed. Come, Dermott! Lester! The battlefield awaits us!

Well then. Let’s take a look at our new arrivals.  First we have…

That’s right, it’s Oifey! Our little tactician dude from part one has grown up into a pre-promote with a fantastic moustache for part two. And he is, in fact, not terrible. His stats are perfectly fine and he comes with two good skills, Critical and Pursuit. He comes in at level 15 while the rest of the army is at level 1, however, which is the game’s subtle way of telling you to only use him for emergencies; he will get virtually no experience for killing anything in the first few chapters.  Oifey is what FE vets call the ‘Jeigan Archetype’, a promoted overlevelled unit the game hands you as a method of ensuring your newbies don’t get wiped out, but if you rely on them too much those newbies will never get to grow up and be killing machines of their own someday. Unlike many of those, Oifey has fine starting stats and passable growths, and can be useful the whole game if you get lucky (though most of the kids will outclass him eventually), but you should still try not to let him kill anything for at least three more chapters, when enemies his level start showing up.

And yes, he has Minor Baldur Blood. It’s easy to forget, but waaaaaaaay back it was mentioned that he’s actually Sigurd’s distant cousin.  

Dermott is a little harder to work out than others, but by looking at his items, skills (Notably, he has Charm, which only one parent can pass down) and Holy Blood (Minor Hezul) we can spot quickly enough he’s the son of Lachesis and Beowulf.  He takes after his mother in one way, in that HIS NAME IS SUPPOSED TO BE DIARMUID, a reference to a hero from Celtic mythology, and it’s been mistranslated. But you know what fuck it I’m too tired, so he can stay Dermott. He’s a solid unit, much like his father… erm… eventually turned out to be, with Pursuit and Accost for offense and Charm to make units near him stronger just by being in his shining golden presence.  The combination of his class and Holy Blood allow him to use any non-Holy sword right off the bat as well, so his offensive options are considerable; even if you choose to do something like marry Lachesis to a mage, he can end up a great choice to use magic swords. But given that Minor Hezul blood is a +20% to HP and +30% to Strength growths, it’s really best to stick with a good honest ass-kicker for his dad.  

And finally, Aideen and Midir’s other child, Lester. Now, remember when I said Lana was almost impossible to screw up? Lester is almost impossible to not screw up.  Aideen’s physical growths are non-existent and he can only use bows as weapons, so if you want him to be inheriting anything of value and have half-decent stats, he needs to be fathered by either Jamke or Midir.  Jamke is the better choice in terms of stats, but the rub lies in the fact that for no obvious reason, Jamke won’t pass down Pursuit to his children despite having it himself.  I assume this to be a bug, but who knows.  Of course, if you don’t care about bows there’s always people like Lex or Holyn who can give him better combat stats… but you saw Midir in the Arena. Archers need a good bow to live. Half the reason Jamke rocks so hard is that he comes with arguably the best non-Holy bow in the game.  So enjoy that Brave Bow, Lester, if we get unlucky leveling you up then it will be your salvation.  

All right. None of our newbies can join in the combat this turn, but they’re all mounted so that will change soon enough. For now, let’s focus on continuing our strategy.  Seliph sets them up…

The twins knock them down.

And to finish things up, Lester goes to have a chat with his sister.

Lester: Why am I not surprised… look, I know I can’t get you to leave, but be careful, okay? It’d break Mother’s heart if something happened to you out here?

(Yes, Aideen is alive, and no, she won’t be helping us out. It’s more common than you’d expect; a solid number of the first generation survived Belhalla only to be too wounded to fight again or to just die later anyway. Mostly the ladies. All these children had to come from somewhere, after all.)

Lana: I know, but actually there was something Mother told me… she said we owe the greatest of debts to the people of Isaach, and if we can help them in any way, we owe it to them to do all we can.

Lester: Yeah, I guess she’s right. I mean, we wouldn’t even be here now if not for the help of the locals… so, er, where is Mother anyway?

Lana: She’s back in Tirnanog’s abbey, working like always.

Lester: Right… Listen, Lana. We’ve got to give this battle our all, both in Mother’s name and in the name of our lost father. Someday, I know, we’ll finally be able to help Mother return to her home, Jungby…

Lana: You’re right, Lester.  

And that’s the slightly anticlimactic end of that conversation; Lana gets a free point of Luck from it for… some… reason.  End turn; no enemies are close enough to hit us, so after they move it goes right back to our gang of misfits.  First, Oifey has words for young Seliph…

(“The… entire world, sire? I was only gone for like an hour.”)

Oifey: The Empire’s grip is tightening still further, as if trying to choke life from the people.  It’s inciting doomed revolts all across Jugdral.  

Seliph: So it’s as I thought… it isn’t as if the Empire’s tyranny would ever be limited to only Isaach… Oifey, is it feasible to assist them?

Oifey: Not as we presently stand, sire. We still lack the strength to properly challenge the Empire.

(“Among other issues, we somehow managed to get you all of your father’s belongings except his invincible super-sword. My apologies, sire.”)

Seliph: Then what of our present battle?  The war for Isaach’s freedom has already begun. Turning back now would be impossible.

Oifey: Hm. There’s certainly no chance of returning you to hiding now that your whereabouts have been leaked, sire.  Starting the fight now was reckless, but we’ve no choice but to continue.

Seliph: Oifey, I’m sorry I let all of this happen behind your back, but we had no choice. Even so, I don’t think I could have stood letting Isaach suffer under Dannan’s thumb any longer. I trust you understand, Oifey.

Oifey: I do, sire. Now, our priority is to lay siege to Dannan’s capital, Rivough, with all haste. Dannan must fall before the Empire can send him reinforcements. We cannot afford to wait!

Seliph doesn’t get a stat boost, because I guess he’s not as cool as Lana.  It’s okay, though, he can still do another cool thing:

Softening up enemies! And our first awesome level of the second generation goes to Lord Seliph. Most marvelously done, sire.  Peons! Attend Lord Seliph!

Marvelously done, peons!  I am so pleased I shall not even force you to lay down on the floor and be a carpet for Lord Seliph to walk upon, that he may not dirty his boots.  

The turn ends here, because we have nobody else to move. I’m a bit worried that one of the enemies can reach Lana, but I’m not sure so…. Let’s hope?  

Oh goodie, the second wave is approaching. But seriously, about Lana…

… Huh. I mean, hey, Lester, if you wanna be like your dad and suck in the arena while being unreasonably lucky everywhere else, more power to ya.

And after that, the enemy is apparently just super uncool with Larcei. Unfortunately for them, Larcei is pretty cool with dodging and very cool with murder.  Our turn…

After taking out the trash, our two errant horsemen start moving east, toward Ganeishire, while Seliph goes to stand enticingly in the range of the last enemy. Ulster also finally gets to take a break from stabbing stuff to chat with his sister, since for once there’s nothing nearby for him.  

Ulster: Just be careful out here, okay? Your usual brazen antics’ll only get you in trouble now.  

Larcei: I know, I know, I know! What, do you think I’m still a child?!

Ulster: Heh, man that iron will of yours! I guess you’re just like Mom was, if what Prince Shanan’s told us is true.

Larcei: Yeah… Ayra… I can’t remember a thing about her. You?

Ulster: No, of course not.  We’re twins, remember? If you were too young to remember, then so was I. We weren’t even two years old back then… it was Oifey who took us with him when he fled to Isaach with Seliph. We waited and waited, but Mom never followed… I guess she didn’t make it out of the Battle of Belhalla alive.  

Larcei: Ulster! You swore you’d never say things like that! Mom is alive! ALIVE! I’m sure of it! Don’t you dare say otherwise ever again!

(*cough* I’m actually pretty sure she isn’t. Which really just makes this sad, so… sorry.)

Ulster: Er… sorry, Larcei. You’re right… I’m sorry…

Larcei gets +1 to Luck from this conversation too, because anger makes you stronger? End turn.

Man, nobody wants to fight Seliph.  Do these peasants believe themselves too good to take blades to milord?!  HOW DARE THEY.  

Not much to do from here but move east; two turns of that puts us into combat range of the enemy’s second wave of troops. Ulster, if you’d do the honors of waiting just within their range? End turn.  

Good man.

… Oops, misjudged the distance. Well, Lana will be happy, she finally gets to do some real healing instead of just kissing boo-boos. Now for our turn….

And our first crappy level of the second generation goes to Lester! Good job, Lester. You’re really honoring that lack of confidence I had in you. End turn.

…. Did he… did he just kill himself out of spite?

Leave Larcei alone, jeez. I know she’s awesome, but come on, there have to be better ways to die.  

And our turn begins with the sight of a bandit suddenly appearing out of nowhere moving up to a village behind the enemy’s castle, because didn’t we all miss that. Ulster’s got the leg ring and Dermott has a horse, so I send them out ahead to try and get there before too much gets burn. Seliph kills an archer, and gets his second level.

As a western gamer I’m told I’m supposed to love Big Awesome Superman Sigurd more than Beautiful Man-boy Seliph, but if he keeps getting levels like these I may have to reconsider that.

Lana also gets her first level from healing, which while not quite as absurd, does give her Defense. That’s her weakest point, so I can’t be too angry.  A few turns of movement follows, until Ulster finally reaches the village and clears it.

Way to get hit on a 25% chance, dumbass. But at least you killed the enemy, so… ‘good job’.  The rest of the team, having nothing better to do, starts attacking the castle defenders.

We’re making pretty good time! Gaineshire should fall quickly from here.  I move Dermott over to stand next to another defender, hoping it will be softened up from here.  And since Oifey has the least money, he takes the first village.

Info Master: The younger two serve him here in Isaach. Johan controls Isaach Castle, while Johalvier controls Sophara Castle. They’re both kind of odd, and they’ve both got this obsession with someone in your army called Larcei.  Always squabbling, they are… I dunno, though. Neither of them are all that bad, really. Heck, I bet they’d want to join forces with you!

FORESHADOWING.  

End turn.

That’s what I like to see. Hard workers. Our turn clears out the final defenders…

And hell, let’s take a risk and let our up and coming young rock star of a lord take first crack at the boss.

(“I mean, yes, they have killed all of my men, and it’s only been like an hour, but…”)                

Ah, yes. Did you miss Pavise? I did.  And on his own turn, he actually connects, taking Seliph’s health down to the danger zone. But also gaining him a new level!

I will never say no to more defense. Lana burns a charge of her Physic staff to heal him up, and I send Lester to swing up and take a shot from the side.

Seriously, fuck Pavise. Ulster, can you wrap this shit up?

Because they proc Astra, bitch.

… And they torment me with shit levels right after triumphing.  God, you people are turning out just like your parents. Dermott took a nasty hit fighting the defenders, so I send him down south to a cathedral to pay for healing since he’s not cool enough to earn Lana’s attentions.  And with that, time to seize our first castle of Gen 2.

(He said, a perfectly nice town and some lovely trees in the background.)

(… Yes, hello, Your Majesty. You weren’t helping us out becaaaaaaaaaaaaaause?)

Lewyn: Just Lewyn, Seliph… like I’ve always been. Silesse is just another Imperial conquest now…. That’s all it’s been since the mess in Belhalla. And meanwhile here I am, still living a pathetic, shameful life for all to see.

(Yeah that’s great. Look, pack up your magic books and get back in line, soldier, we have an Empire to sort out.)

Lewyn: At least my mother faced Silesse’s demise, and her own, with pride and dignity! But me? Nope! Still just an idiot bard… don’t listen to what Oifey says of me, Seliph. Please, don’t call me a king ever again.  

(Okay yeah but do you still have Forseti. I would really like some Forseti, please.)

Seliph: I… my apologies, Lewyn…

Lewyn: Heh, it’s fine. Don’t worry about it. More importantly, looks like you’ve finally got this revolution thing started! There’s no place more fitting than Isaach to begin fighting back against the Empire.

Seliph: Indeed! The courage of Isaach’s people is matched only by the pain and anger they feel because of the Empire. All we’re missing now is for Prince Shanan to return and join the fray himself.

Lewyn: He ran off to follow some rumor, didn’t he?

Seliph: Mm. Rumor has it his birthright as heir to the Isaach throne, the holy sword Balmung, is being kept in a shrine in the Yied Desert.

(Oh god not that place again. So much sand…)

Seliph: As I understand it, the entire desert region is home to an evil priest. I trust Shanan’s might, but I cannot help but worry for his safety…

Lewyn: If anyone can do it, it’ll be Shanan. Actually, Seliph, I’ve a favor to ask of you.

(Bitch you can ask me for favors when you’re blasting my enemies with wind magic. JOIN THE ARMY.)

Seliph: Oh? If it is within my power, I’ll gladly help. What is it?

(Dammit Seliph you suck at negotiation. We have to play hardball with this guy!)

Lewyn: Since then I’ve been looking after her in a hidden little corner of Silesse, until we had to get out a while back as the Empire set about tightening its grip. The thing is, I’ve got things that need doing over in Leonster, and at this point she’s just slowing me down. I hate to impose, but I don’t have much of a choice. Could I leave her with your group for a while? I still don’t know what happened to her, but it must have been pretty awful. Poor thing. Back when I first found her, she couldn’t remember a thing about what happened.

(…. Yeah, dude, I don’t know if you remember it, but his father took in a mysterious waif once and it ended really bad.)

Lewyn: I still don’t know what happened to her, but it must have been pretty awful. Poor thing. Back when I first found her, she couldn’t remember a thing about what happened. It looks like she still can’t…

(Oh jeez, she has amnesia too. I’m getting some déjà vu here, and not in a good way. Yeah, gonna have to give this one a super hard no, so…)

Seliph: I see. Very well, you can trust me with her, Lewyn.

(God dammit, Seliph.)

Seliph: However, I must ask you return for her as soon as possible She won’t feel too comfortable in an army of strangers.

Lewyn: Deal. Heh, I’ll probably be back here by the time you’re finished freeing Isaach. Good luck, Seliph.

Seliph: May the gods be with you as well, Lewyn.

(Fuck off, Lewyn.)

Seliph: Until Lewyn returns, I swear I’ll let no harm come to you… I know I’ve much to learn, and I’m not yet all that strong. But one day… someday, I know I’ll be strong enough to protect us all! Someday, I’ll have the strength to defend all the world’s people from the Empire’s wrath! Someday I’ll be strong, just as my father once was…

(“Someday, I’ll be Hokage!”)

Julia: Seliph…

Well. She’s a sparkling conversationalist.  Now, normally I would cut things off here. But coming up next turn is one of the few choices the game has to offer, and I would actually like to let you guys vote on it, so we need to do one more scene.

Dannan: What in the blazes are my sons doing?! Someone, tell them to take the rebels down, right now!

Johan: But I could never lay a finger on Larcei, even if she is among my foes… ahh, what a dilemma standing before me…

So that’s Johan and Johalvier.  They’re a pair of fucking idiots, but we can recruit one.  Yes, one. Whichever one Larcei talks to first will join your army; the other will have to die because they are, again, fucking idiots.  But hey, since I’m a kindly sort, I’ll allow you the choice of which one we recruit. The gist of them:

Johalvier:

Growths: HP – 110%, Str – 40%, Mag – 0%, Skl – 50%, Spd – 10%, Luck – 10%, Def – 60% Res – 5%

 Johan:

Growths: HP – 110%, Str – 40%, Mag – 0%, Skl – 20%, Spd – 50%, Luck – 10%, Def – 60% Res – 5%

(P.S. Both have Minor Neir Blood; the bonuses from it are included in their listed growth rates.)  

 As you can see, it’s not a huge difference. Both uses axes as weapons; Johan will always use only axes, while Johalvier can learn to use bows after he promotes.  Each only has one (at least pretty good) ability, and their growths are mostly identical; about the only thing worth noting is that Johan’s speed growth is significantly better, probably to make up for the fact his starting speed is four points lower. Johalvier in general starts off with better base stats, in fact, but that’s made up for somewhat by the fact that Johan has a horse and he doesn’t.  

Really, tl;dr, neither of them is appreciably better than the other in gameplay terms, unless you’re doing a speed run.  So, let me know if you have an opinion on which one to grab, and if there’s a clear winner I’ll pick him up next week.  See ya then!  

Part 16

[infinite-green28]

HALLOWEEN-A-THON 2017

FUN DOUBLE FEATURES!!

1. Halloween (1978)     Halloween 2 (1981)

2. The Phantom of the Opera (1962)     The Phantom of the Opera (1925)

3. Carnival of Souls (1962)     Night of the Living Dead (1968)

4. Horror of Dracula (1958)     Dracula (1931)

5. A Nightmare On Elm Street (1984)     Wes Craven’s New Nightmare (1994)

6. The Curse of Frankenstein (1957)     Frankenstein (1931)

7. The Return of the Living Dead (1985)     Night of the Living Dead (1990)

8. The 2 Faces of Dr. Jekyll (1960)     Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (1932)

9. The Cabin in the Woods (2012)     Waxwork (1988)

10. The Mummy (1959)       The Mummy (1932)

11. Night of the Seagulls (1975)       Dawn of the Dead (1978)

12. The Human Vapor (1960)       The Invisible Man (1933)

13. Friday the 13th Part 3 (1982)       Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter (1984)

14. Frankenstein Created Woman (1967)       Bride of Frankenstein (1935)

15. Tales from the Crypt (1972)       Creepshow (1982)

16. The Curse of the Werewolf (1961)       The Wolf Man (1941)

17. Psycho (1960)       The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974)

18. Screamers [Island of the Fishmen] (1979)       Creature from the Black Lagoon (1954)

19. The Void (2016)       The Beyond (1981)

20. The Monster Squad (1987)       Abbott and Costello meet Frankenstein (1948)

21. The Fog (1980)       Day of the Dead (1985)

22. Matango (1963)       Island of Lost Souls (1932)

23. Hellraiser (1987)       The Evil Dead (1981)

24. Goke: Bodysnatcher from Hell (1968)       Fiend Without a Face (1958)

25. Horror Express (1972)       The Thing (1982)

26. Two Evil Eyes (1990)       The Raven (1935)       The Black Cat (1934)

27. Pontypool (2008)       Land of the Dead (2005)

28. The Abominable Dr. Phibes (1971)       The Awful Dr. Orlof (1962)

29. Beetlejuice (1988)       Ghostbusters (1984)

30. The Fly (1986)       The Manster (1959)

31. Tales of Halloween (2015)       Halloween 3: Season of the Witch (1982)