#Cedric Hawke is so tired at this point

[arrowpunk]

I think DA2 should let me give my Hawke greying hair in act 3. I think he's earned starting to go grey that young at this point

[angelofsmalldeathandthecodeine]

Disasters and Detentions

Request: “Hi! Can i please request A fred weasley x reader (I love my boy fred lol). With the angst prompt 16 and fluff prompt 12 and 9 please? Tyty i love your writing!”

(”Why do you care?”/”Oh my God! you’re in love with him”/”God, you’re so fucking cute”

Pairing: Fred Weasley x Reader

Word count: 1.9k (I got excited or whateva)

A/N: These were suchhh cute prompts to work with, I really love writing the twins in a school enviroment it gives me good vibes :) ALSO this is so long but like I said before, the twins x fluff = a dream.

The Triwizard tournament was all anyone had been talking about recently, and while you could admit it was an exciting year for Hogwarts with the Yule Ball too, you couldn’t help but get tired of everyone’s eagerness – even those too young to participate.

You sat with your friend Hermione, completing work, and simultaneously watching as students in their sixth and seventh year entered their names into the goblet, each time admiring the flicker of the sapphire blue flame.

“Isn’t he dreamy” Hermione commented, gazing at Cedric Diggory who had just placed his name into the Goblet, receiving a warm welcoming from the inferno, indicating acceptance.

“I guess” you said, looking up towards harry noticing he had the exact same grin on his face as yourself. You both knew exactly what Hermione was trying to do and by the looks of Ron it had worked.

You understood why all the girls would swoon over the older, prince charming-like Cedric, but you had someone different in your thoughts…. much different.

Suddenly the room was filled with clapping and cheering as if Gryffindor had just won the Quidditch Cup.

“YESSS” you heard the raspy laughs of what could only be Fred and George, running into the hall with a test tube each. The way the light hit Fred’s copper hair as he ran towards the goblet had caught you in a trance. His Hazel eyes, his bright smile and pale complexion… it was all you could focus on.

Suddenly you were met with a hand being waved across your face which disrupted your line of sight and snapped you back into reality.

“What on earth has gotten into you” Hermione asked, with a puzzled expression on her face.

“uh, nothing just tired” you replied in an attempt to draw as little attention as possible to what was actually distracting you.

“Well lads, we’ve done it” George announced to the mass of applause “cooked it up just this morning”, as soon as you heard Fred’s voice you couldn’t help but swoon at the sound, gaining another weird look from Hermione.

“It’s not going to work” Hermione sung, in a rather condescending manner.

Before you knew it, you were inches away from Fred, who had accompanied his brother in lowering himself to yours and Hermione’s level.

“Oh yeah?” Fred asked, patronisingly back whilst leaning an arm on your shoulder. You weren’t sure what to do in that moment other than freeze and try not to make any eye contact. You could feel your palms get sweatier by the second and your breathing start to increase at a stupidly rapid rate.

“And why’s that Granger?” George then asked, with sole focus on beating Hermione in this sort of battle of ‘who’s right’.

Strangely you thought could feel Fred’s eyes, looking you up and down, which only caused your body to tense up even more than it was before.

You zoned out completely every word that Hermione spoke, only being able to pay attention to the arm that rested on your shoulder and the lips that were inches away from your face.

“Ah but that’s why it’s so brilliant” Fred said, this time you had gained some confidence to look slightly in his way to which you were then face to face with his mischievous grin.

“Because it’s so pathetically dim-witted” George over emphasised in Hermione’s scolding face, causing you to giggle like a schoolgirl.

God, how pathetically dim-witted of you.

Fred and George looked at each other before rising to their naturally giant-like height in high spirits of just winning an argument against Hermione Granger.

Whilst putting a thumb over the test tubes to shake them you couldn’t help but kind of worry about Fred. It was such a strange feeling, you knew how much of a prankster both him and his twin were, but the potion was dangerous, and not nearly as dangerous as if they managed to enter the tournament itself.

“I hope he’s alright” you accidentally mumbled under your breath, causing a slightly aggravated Hermione to snap back.

“What, Fred? Why do you care?” she replied, meeting your gaze focusing on Fred.

There was silence for what seemed like forever, you didn’t know what to say and didn’t want to make it obvious, “I don’t I just, uh, I made one of those potions myself at home, nasty things” you settled with.

Yet, you were forgetting who exactly you were talking to, they don’t call her the brightest witch for her age for no reason. Hermione looked at you, who then looked at Fred, who seemed to be looking in your direction and suddenly the light bulb inside her turned on.

“Oh my God! You’re in love with him!” Hermione gasped, giggling in the process.

“Shh Hermione!” you attempted to reduce the chances of anyone hearing the truth, especially that of Fred.

“Ready Fred?”

“Ready George”

“Bottoms up” the twins sang in unison which helped distract Hermione from the information that she had just heard. Fred and George proceeded to jump into the ring of fire that guarded the Goblet, letting out a very confident “Yesss” that got the crowd going once more.

Putting their names in the fire seemed to actually work, gaining a repeated and very smug “Yeahhh” from both the twins – yet there’s one thing you had learnt during your time at Hogwarts, and it was that Hermione was always right.

Instantaneously there was a flash of blue light and before you knew it both the twins were rolling around on the floor with white beards, rather resembling Dumbledore himself.

You couldn’t help but really belly laugh at their stupidity as the crowd chanted “Fight! Fight! Fight!”

“Detention! The both of you!” McGonagall’s voice went straight though you, yet you continued to laugh at the twins’ misfortune as she attempted to separate them.

“And I suppose you find this funny miss Y/L/N” McGonagall’s eye caught your line of sight, “then I shall see you in detention with these two buffoons”

You groaned at the thought, which seemed to only antagonise her further “Oh and since the three of you are in Gryffindor, 10 points from Gryffindor” she spoke in a high tone, which earned a groan from the majority of the room.

 \/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Later that day you had found yourself in the detention hall with both Fred and George, alongside a few other misbehaving students. Don’t get me wrong, you had sat through your fair share of detentions, it was just that this year you had promised yourself that you would try and reduce the amount of time you had to spend with Professor Snape.

After what felt like an eternity, Snape put his head down to mark some work and you felt like you could finally breathe.

A paper bird landed onto your desk, bringing you back into the real world.

The note simply read:

‘I’m sorry for getting you into trouble’

You turned around discreetly to be met by Fred, who gave you a gentle smile, and in turn you were holding in quite possibly the biggest smile you have ever had before.

“God, you’re so fucking cute” you mumbled to yourself whilst reading the note, but before you knew it Fred’s message started to disappear, and the ink began to write the last words you spoke.

Of course, Fred had used magical ink. “oh no no no” you began to panic quietly, frantically trying to think of a spell that would erase the words on the note. Yet, your anxious mind only hindered your time and the note began to transform into a paper bird and fly behind you towards Fred’s seat.

You started to sink into yours, literally face palming at the thought of Fred reading those words. You were so embarrassed that right then and there you had sworn you just wouldn’t open your mouth for the rest of the year.

Since you hadn’t got another note back and you hadn’t turned around to check, you prayed that the paper bird had just got lost on the way back to him.

Once detention had finished you collected your books and rushed out of Snape’s classroom, faster than you ever had before.

“Oi! Y/N! where you off too?” Fred’s voice unexpectedly called after you, causing you to freeze in your tracks.

“Just uh, the common room” you replied without looking back to face him, maybe everything was alright after all, and maybe Fred really hadn’t seen your note.

“Great, I’ll walk you”, you heard Fred’s footsteps get closer and closer to you, before finally gaining the courage to face him in hopes of his cluelessness.

“Oh by the way, this is for you” Fred opened his two hands to reveal a paper bird, pecking at his palm, “couldn’t have gave it to you back then of course, Snape was watching me like a hawk” he laughed before allowing the bird to flutter into your hands.

Your heart sank at the thought of opening the note, with a sick feeling in your stomach.

‘Y/N,

I had no idea you felt that way, but in that case… You’re way cuter’

You giggled slightly, feeling a sense of relief yet still feeling extremely anxious. Fred Weasley thought you were cute. You couldn’t believe it.

Finally looking up from the note, you noticed Fred’s hazel eyes staring longingly into your own, and you couldn’t look away.

You watched as he lifted his hand to your cheek, pushing back the hair that draped slightly over your face. The brush of his fingers on your skin felt so soft and warm, yet your gaze remained. In that moment you felt no sickness, no heart sinking, and no anxiety… just butterflies in your stomach and a sense of serenity.

“Is this okay?” Fred asked, and with one nod from you he began to lean in closer, causing you to slowly press onto your tip toes to make his job a little easier. This time he lifted his right hand to cup your face completely.

Upon instinct you closed your eyes, feeling your face be lifted towards his. You could feel the warmth of Fred’s breath grow closer, placing your hands on his lower torso where they would naturally reach.

The moment was perfect, and without a second thought your lips met Fred’s in a soft exchange. The initial kiss allowed you to linger for a moment, digesting the feeling of not only his face against yours but his fingers entwined in your hair.

Your lips were left cold but sweet as you breathed into Fred, causing him to place a second kiss on your lips returning the warmth you had just felt. This time you felt the corners of Fred’s mouth curl into a smile which made you do the same.

Pulling away slightly and starting to land on the heels of your feet you began to open your eyes slightly, seeing Fred’s adorable smile with his eyes closed. He began to pull you up again ever so slightly, eyes still closed.

“Hang on, just one more” he seemed in a trance, and giggling you put your hands around his neck to which he lifted you gently. The third kiss was as good as the first and second, and with that you were placed onto the ground, spiritually and physically.

You and Fred giggled at each other when finally opening both your eyes to see each other again. You felt Fred’s hand snake down your arm to meet your own hand, locking his fingers between yours.

You looked down at the floor and bit your lip at the afterthought of the moment, gripping Fred’s hand tightly as he let out a heavy breath.

“I bloody love detention” Fred announced as you walked hand in hand towards the common room, giggling.

[fathersonholygore]

First Reformed. 2018. Directed & Written by Paul Schrader. Starring Ethan Hawke, Amanda Seyfried, Cedric Antonio Kyles, Michael Gaston, Victoria Hill, Van Hansis, & Philip Ettinger. Killer FIlms/Fibonacci Films/Arclight Films Rated R. 113 minutes. Drama/Thriller

★★★★★

How do the holy remain so in the changing face of modernity? How can religion extend itself into an age of postmodern cities, pop culture, and the ravages of urbanity and capitalism? Paul Schrader may not have all the answers, though his latest film First Reformed does a fine job of exploring these themes. He’s returned to what he does best: questioning the fabric of America. The thread he pulls on this time is close to his heart, as Schrader grew up in a Calvinist home, part of the Christian Reformed Church. Father Gore suspects Mr. Schrader’s screenplay is a result of many dark nights of faith across decades of life, an accumulated set of anxieties he’s experience about his system of belief. Ethan Hawke gives a career best performance as Reverend Ernst Toller— a reference to the German Expressionist playwright of the same name. His crisis of faith is brought on by an unfortunate suicide and seeing his First Reformed Church perpetually caught in the gaping maw of capitalist industry. His journey is spiritual and corporeal all at once, confronted with the plight of Mary (Amanda Seyfried), whose husband’s suicide likewise is affecting Toller. First Reformed questions how the ancient world of tradition and the modern world of capitalism co-exist when they are fundamentally opposed in so many ways. Above all, Schrader examines how extremism can sprout from many dark corners of the human psyche, of which religion is merely one. He digs at the part of all of us which seeks to immerse itself in all aspects of a faith, whether that faith is in religion, activism, business, or anything else. At the heart of extreme belief is a pain— how we choose to soothe it ultimately defines us. From the start, Rev. Toller appears as the ultimate acolyte of Christ. He occasionally sleeps in the pews of the First Reformed Church. He’s writing in a book for a year as an exercise in prayer, among other things. He tends to the fallen headstones in the graveyard himself, propping them back upright. But soon it’s evident he’s doing so at the expense of his own health. Toller’s an alcoholic. He sits at the dinner table and – like every meal is the transubstantiation of Christ’s body/blood into bread/wine – soaks up whiskey from a bowl with bread. We see his alcoholism is related to a damaged past: he pushed his son into the military and feels perpetual guilt because his son died in the Iraq War. He put his faith in institutions he imagined would help him understand the world: church and military. Both failed. First, the military killed his son. Now the church starts failing him. He sees the First Reformed becoming a literal “souvenir shop,” which is the church’s nickname. People treat him more as a tour guide than a reverend. The land itself is owned by a megachurch, Abundant Life— a corporation, not a church, such is the case with all these modern religious institutions. Moreover, Abundant Life barely fixes anything at the First Reformed except for cosmetic reasons, like when a ceremony is coming up. A perfectly framed shot shows Toller walking into the megachurch with the logo upside down: Schrader could’ve filmed it right-side up, in not doing so he visually subverts Abundant Life to signify Christianity being subverted by capitalism and a general perversion of religion into a commodity. This conflict is drives the theme of the ancient v. the modern. Church traditions in general refer back to the past. Even the First Reformed Church itself is a relic, filled with souvenirs of the past – the land was part of the Underground Railroad, various parts of the church and items inside are more than a century old – and also filled with real souvenirs from the historical shop. Toller’s church is indicative of a general changing economic role in a lot of churches today, also representing the alienation of modern/postmodern churches from true Christianity in more ways than the effects of capitalism.

“Be strong in the Lord and in His mighty power. Put on the full armour of God, so that you can take your stand against the Devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world.” — Ephesians 6:11

Mary becomes part of the plot when her husband Michael (Philip Ettinger) is going through his own crisis of faith due to his extreme activism. Michael cannot deal with the state of the world, neither does he want to bring a baby into it after discovering his wife is pregnant. Rev. Toller tries helping Michael, only to be the one to bear witness to his suicide later. Michael’s situation bridges the gap between the environment and religion. After the suicide, Toller and Mary discover Michael had a suicide vest. They try rationalising his goodness, believing he did not use it because he decided not to when it’s likely he hadn’t gotten the chance. After Michael found out the vest was gone he killed himself. This sends Toller into a worse crisis of faith once he begins questioning the church’s commitment to the environment versus its commitment to big business. Michael’s environmental activism is concerned with similar things as an authentic belief in religion. Environmental preservation is, in a sense, the act of protecting natural creation, and creation is a central part of Christianity. In opposition, capitalism involves what’s known as creative destruction, in the sense destruction (i.e. bulldozing forests/tearing down old buildings/etc) is a necessary process for the creation of the new, in turn generating new forms of capital. Creation from these two standpoints is where anxiety lies. Once Toller sees Abundant Life is a wholly corrupt corporate entity not at all interested in Christian goodness, his religious faith merges with the environmental faith of Michael, and his path becomes even more dangerous than it was already.

“The life is more than meat, and the body is more than raiment.” — Luke 12:23

Two images are significant in a visual representation of how Toller’s physical state comes to mirror the state of the environment. One depicts him pouring Pepto-Bismol into a glass of whiskey. After he’s ravaged his body with alcoholism, he uses Pepto-Bismol as a patch: it won’t fix anything, it’ll simply delay the painful side effects. The second image is a colourful reflection (seen above) of the Pepto-Bismol’s pink in a shot of an early morning sky, where Toller stands in the foreground and several boats float abandoned, rusting in the water behind him. This shot is representative of another quick fix. Today we know the environment is being destroyed beyond the point of repair, and all we’ve done is put temporary Band-Aids on the problem instead of fixing it. Today, people recycle plastic bags and they try not to drive too much, but the issues the environment faces are far beyond these types of individual, preventative measures, requiring life/society altering changes for anything significant to be done. The sky and the boat ruins v. the whiskey and Pepto-Bismol is an ingenious visual conveying so much theme in a matter of seconds. Prior to the film’s climax, Toller engages in a non-sexual, physical rite with Mary. This is a way of removing the sacred and the religious from the world of the ancient and bringing it into the postmodern, increasingly secularised world. Rather than performing a sermon for a church of people, removed from the congregation on a pulpit, Toller engages directly, literally, physically with another human being. Through this return to the human he also returns to a purer vision of Christianity, where the natural world takes precedence over today’s capitalist and increasingly urban world. He envisions floating first over beautiful, natural landscapes— one with each other/the world. Suddenly they’re above traffic in the city, floating over roads, a heap of tires reaching to the clouds like a mountain, smokestacks pumping fog, tree cutters devastating forests to make way for urban expansion, trash, and decaying ships in forgotten stretches of ocean. Toller bears witness to the devastation of the natural world through Mary in the same way he bore witness to its personal effects in the grisly suicide of Michael. During the film’s climax, the suicide vest returns as further connective tissue between conceptions of extreme faith. Toller makes the decision to blow himself up at the big Abundant Life ceremony for the First Reformed Church. When he sees Mary in the crowd, he opts not to keep the vest on. Instead, he opts for mortification of the flesh. There’s a juxtaposition between violence here, too. As the suicide vest represents an outward expression of pain, encompassing violence done to others, Toller’s act of mortification – barbed wire wrapped around his torso, mirroring the crown of thorns Jesus forcibly wore on the cross – is representative of inner pain, reflecting the pain of the Saviour and affecting only the individual. Schrader makes the point religion can remain a part of ourselves, we can believe what we believe and not affect others, or we can force our beliefs onto others, possibly hurtfully. Although holding beliefs to oneself can also do damage, it only involves the self rather than pulling others into the pain. The end of the film sees Toller embracing Mary, choosing not to drink a glass of drain cleaner and end his life like Michael did after his extremism was deflated. Like Michael, we can’t be sure Rev. Toller won’t do something drastic. As the screen cuts to black in the midst of a seemingly happy ending, the foreboding score rises up again over the credits, and there lingers a sense Toller hasn’t yet fully escaped his crisis, only put it aside to focus on his personal life.

“Can God forgive us for what we’ve done to this world?”

The way Schrader digs into his topics is always harrowing, in one way or another. First Reformed is no different. It isn’t only harrowing to those who follow a religious faith, in any way, shape, or form. Father Gore hasn’t stopped thinking of the film for a straight week. Its themes are so relevant to the current state of America, not even half of which is discussed in this article. Schrader’s genius here somehow grows after the film is over and the credits end, when we’re left in the dark with only our thoughts and his images occupying the mind. The story and Hawke’s performance are the sort to fester in your soul. It isn’t easy to say one Shcrader film is the best because he’s written, and also directed, plenty incredible cinema in the over four decades of his career. First Reformed is up there with Taxi Driver in its searing and (mostly) subtle portrayal of a man divided against himself, the institutions in which he placed his trust and the society which birthed them, as well as how extreme beliefs infiltrate every aspect of life. This film is necessary in an age where everybody – conservative/liberal/otherwise – wants to place whole blame for extremism on the doorstep of religion, Islam in specific since 9/11. All such a one-track perspective of the world’s issues achieves is destruction of the individual, alongside that of the collective. The world is burning. It isn’t only the religious institutions, or law enforcement, or the natural world— it’s all burning. The sooner we accept it, the sooner we might begin to fix it. Or maybe it’s all too late, and the only comfort now is not in religion but in each other and ourselves. Schrader doesn’t claim to have the answers. He’s trying to help us ask the right questions.

Nature’s Crucifixion by Capitalism in Paul Schrader’s FIRST REFORMED First Reformed. 2018. Directed & Written by Paul Schrader. Starring Ethan Hawke, Amanda Seyfried, Cedric Antonio Kyles, Michael Gaston, Victoria Hill, Van Hansis, & Philip Ettinger.

[ariyadaivaris]

✈

✈ - headcanon about traveling

you didn’t specify a person, so i’m gonna do this one with everyone’s favorite raw tag team champions, cedric alexander and gran metalik!!!

cedric watches the most terrible movies he can find on the plane’s library bc it doesnt count while youre flying. if you watch a bad movie on an airplane once you touch down you have no longer watched that movie ever so its fine. cedric is something of a terrible movie Connoisseur by now. and now that he and gran are partners they can share earbuds and watch terrible movies together, and gran will constantly point out things like “that’s actually a red-tailed hawk call, not an eagle call”, or “they wouldn’t survive that fall in real life this is just a flight of fantasy right here” and cedric thinks it SHOULD be annoying but honestly it’s just really fun to listen to

cedric LOVES that Plane Brand Red Wine too bc in his heart he’s a wine aunt. i just Feel it. so few airlines let you order wine because Hey Yo What The Fuck This Is An Airplane but when he gets the chance he WILL tend to jump on it, he is so tired all the time and this is one thing that he’ll indulge in, let him have this. it’s 15 bucks he’ll share if he needs to just let him have this one thing

OH gran likes sitting across the aisle from little babies and making them laugh…he’ll say Hey to kids watching disney movies and teach them how to sing the songs in spanish if they’d like, bc it makes them smile and that makes him smile too! he also wears hoodies on planes always bc he gets cold VERY easily on airplanes so you’ll just see him bundled up and curled in his seat with his hair poking out between his mask and his hood and it’s a very cozy look. i’m glad he’s comfortable! i love you gran

[moviepasstor]

May 2018 Movies Reviewed from Just Their Trailers

If you haven't signed up for MoviePass yet, you may have missed your golden opportunity. Last summer, they dropped their price to $9.95 a month for one movie a day, with only premium formats like IMAX and 3-D excluded. But starting at some point in mid-April, the same $9.95/month gets new subscribers only four movies a month. While existing subscribers have not yet been moved over to such a limited plan, something like that might happen in the future, in which case I'll have to be more selective about which movies are worth of a MoviePass swipe, as the card's usefulness as "bad movie insurance" will be significantly reduced. Here, then, is a look at this month’s new releases, and which ones I’m most likely to MoivePass, based on their trailers, using the following rating scale:

@@@@ = I definitely plan to see this @@@    = I might be interested in seeing this @@        = I probably won’t see this @           = No intention of seeing this, ever.

BAD SAMARITAN @@@@ (definitely plan to see this)

Killers and robbers get caught up in a cat-and-mouse game when two would-be burglars break into a house that happens to belong to Killgrave. Okay, he's not really the Purple Man from Jessica Jones, but he's played by the same actor, David Tennant, and he has a woman tied up in his house, and that's a pretty cool complication. (Postponed from an April 27th release date, probably in hopes of debuting with a piece of the drop-off from Avengers: Infinity War.)

REVENGE @@@@ (definitely plan to see this)

Rape/revenge thriller in the vein of I Spit on Your Grave (2010), but this time they seem to be selling it as a #MeToo flick with review blurbs that call the heroine a “badass” and say the movie “gouges the male gaze out of your eye balls” (is there a reason the reviewer spelled eyeballs as two words?)

OVERBOARD (2018) @@@ (I might be interested in seeing this)

Eugenio Derbez is a wealthy Mexican snob who humiliates poor white working-class single mom (Anna Faris), then gets amnesia, so she convinces him he's her blue-collar husband and he bonds with her kids while struggling to do manual labor for the first time in his life, and wouldn't you know it, they fall in love! There, the trailer tells the whole story of this gender-swapped, culture-clash-infused remake of a 1987 Goldie Hawn comedy I never even saw. Now I don't have to see either, but I've enjoyed Derbez's last few outings, and this does look like it will be funny despite its formulaicness (formularity?).

ON CHESIL BEACH @@@ (I might be interested in seeing this)

Young love blossoms on the 1962 English countryside for upper crust Saiorse Ronan and commoner Billy Howle, but then the music gets more dramatic and the only hint we get is that it has something to do with the sexual revolution of the time. My first thought was I doubt I'll be able to stay awake long enough to learn the film's dark secrets, but a second viewing of the trailer made me a bit more curious. From a novel by the author of Atonement, the film that gave Ronan her first Oscar nod but which, for me, built up to a big nothing burger.

SOLO: A STAR WARS STORY @@@ (I might be interested in seeing this)

In the original Star Wars, Han Solo was a gunslinger straight out of a Western. Here, his earlier adventures are more in the mold of the sci-fi action-based fantasy that the rest of the franchise is built around. Since these Star Wars Stories are allowed to exist as one-offs outside the main continuity, I would have rather seen a Solo movie that was more true to the spirit of the original character the same way Logan was allowed to be a different kind of X-Men movie from the rest of its franchise. But I'll still see this one at some point before it leaves theaters.

SUMMER 1993 @@@ (I might be interested in seeing this)

A newly orphaned six-year-old girl is sent to the country to live with relatives. While this looks "touching" and is based on the filmmaker's own childhood, the trailer gives no hint that anything story-worthy actually happens. It's listed as a drama, but how can that be without conflict? From Spain.

HOW TO TALK TO GIRLS AT PARTIES @@@ (I might be interested in seeing this)

I love Elle Fanning, but I generally don't care for John Cameron Mitchell or Neil Gaiman. I can't tell what's going on from the trailer, which leads me to suspect the film will be narratively just as uninspiring to me as Shortbus and Hedwig. But Elle's moments in the trailer make this hard to pass up. This is where MoviePass earns its "bad movie insurance" reputation.

And the rest...

TULLY @@ (I probably won’t see this)

The first trailer tells us, in text and a wordless montage of vignettes, that Tully is about the drudgery of motherhood, then teases that someone named Tully enters the life of the put-upon mom. I literally have no clue what this movie is really about. I had to look up the plot description on IMDb, where I learned it's about a mother who is "gifted a night nanny" and they form "a unique bond." Great. I still have no idea even what kind of a movie it is. Is the nanny a psychopath, like the one in The Hand That Rocks the Cradle? Is she magical and practically perfect in every way, like Mary Poppins? Is she Tully's ex-husband in drag, like Mrs. Doubtfire? All I can tell, even from the longer trailers, is that it will show me how tough it is to be a mom. I don't need a uterus or a movie to tell me that. I already believe it. I need to know that something goes on in this movie other than diaper changing. The only other thing I have to go on here is that it's from the writer/director team that made Juno, which is promising, and Young Adult, which cancels out the Juno points (along with Ricki and the Flash and Labor Day).

LIFE OF THE PARTY @@ (I probably won’t see this)

While brushing her teeth one night, Melissa McCarthy decides to trash a bunch of her personal belongings, set them on fire, and go back to college where she joins her daughter's sorority and tries to be young again. It's hard to believe they actually put such a nonsensical setup in the trailer. Makes it look like no thought was put into the movie. From the writer-director team that failed to wow anyone with Tammy. On the other hand, I’ve twice seen a trailer for McCarthy’s next movie, Can You Ever Forgive Me?, due out in October, and it’s probably one of the movies I’m most looking forward to this year.

BREAKING IN @@ (I probably won’t see this)

Panic Room. The House at the End of the Street. The Strangers. The Strangers: Prey at Night. Straw Dogs (2011). The Purge. And so on. Somehow this one just doesn't seem to have that extra something that made me want to see, say, last month's Traffik.

BOOK CLUB @@ (I probably won’t see this)

Four of the most famous women in AARP navigate easy and obvious laughs trying to prove senior citizens can do raunchy Viagra comedy when their libidos are reignited by turning off The View and reading Fifty Shades of Grey. Not a match for the genuinely funny elderly raunch found in Dirty Grandpa.

DEADPOOL 2 @@ (I probably won’t see this)

Round two for the self-parodying superhero. I found the first one just as tiring as all the other Marvel movies, but with the occasional quip to break up the monotony. Never got wrapped up in the character's journey. (But I do love the Flashdance-inspired poster.)

FIRST REFORMED @@ (I probably won’t see this)

Ethan Hawke is a troubled preacher wallowing in the grief of losing his son until a parishioner (Amanda Seyfried) comes to him with a bigger problem. Apparently her husband might be some sort of terrorist, and at one point two people levitate. Writer/director Paul Schrader hasn't exactly been fulfilling the promise, in this century, of his early career, and here he's decided to shoot in 1.33:1 and cast Cedric the Entertainer in a supporting role. Normally I'd just wait to see this on TV, but I don't own a 4:3 television set anymore.

BEAST @@ (I probably won’t see this)

A slow cooker about a young woman who falls for a dangerous outsider. Looks impressive, but seems to be missing some key plot ingredient to hold it all together.

ANYTHING @ (no intention of seeing this, ever)

A widower falls in love with a transgender person, and if you dare not find this intensely heartwarming, you’re so not woke.

THE SEAGULL @ (no intention of seeing this, ever)

Based on the Chekhov play, looks like something that was pulled off a dusty shelf due to the recent rise in popularity of Saoirse Ronan (Lady Bird) and Elizabeth Moss (The Handmaid’s Tale). Also features Billy Howle, who hooks up with Ronan again this month in On Chesil Beach (scroll up), which looks more promising.

SHOW DOGS @ (no intention of seeing this, ever)

I feel like time was stolen from me just from watching the trailer.