#Cavemen

[atomic-chronoscaph]

One Million Years B.C. (1966)

[sir-buddy]

Sometimes I think I'm funny.

[rednblacksalamander]

History of the Techbro

[thatsbelievable]

[unadulteratedpiratepizza]

"Hey man, how'd your date with Stacey go?"

"It went fine, I guess."

"Oh? Something happen?"

"Well, everything was going great, we had a great time at the opera and everything, then we went to her place for drinks."

"Was her apartment a mess or something?"

"Not exactly, it looked fine and everything at first. We had been drinking a bit, so she excused herself to the bathroom. That's when I noticed a hole at the bottom of the hallway wall."

"Like someone kicked it?"

"No, it was an honest to god Tom and Jerry style mouse hole."

"Odd. So her apartment has a rodent problem?" "I wish! If it was just a mouse or rat, we wouldn't be talking about it like this. No, I was watching the hole when a tiny little caveman walked out."

"A caveman?"

"Yup"

"Wait, what kind are we talking about? Homo Habilis, Erectus, Neanderthal?"

"Judging from the forehead and chin, I'd put money on Cro-Magnon."

"So what did the miniscule Cro-Magnon do?"

"He looked at me, yelled, then ran under the couch. I asked Stacy about it, and she just said 'oh yeah, we've been having a problem with them' and we went back to the date like nothing happened."

"Is this whole thing a deal breaker?"

"Not really, just strange. Anyways, I'm going to see her again next week. Would it be a bad idea to bring mousetraps?"

"I wouldn't."

[theknucklehead]

One of my favorite parts in Attack of the Clones was the arena battle on Geonosis. The fight against the monsters reminds me of something you would see in a Ray Harryhausen film.

Wouldn't be surprised that's how Lucas came up with the idea.

[dat-lil-shark]

Transformers and Cavemen:

Imagine if Transformers arrived on Earth during the prehistoric era instead.

And let’s say the Autobots tamed a group of cavemen so they can help them navigate the complicated landscape to track down Decepticons, but they are also growing close with each other.

Optimus is sitting at a desk of the spaceship, calculating plans, while about five to six cavemen were cuddling up in on his legs (and more are trying to climb up) and he’s gently petting all of them.

Ratchet trying to get onto his computer to work but there is a random caveman up there, trying to get his attention.

The cavemen carve little stone shape of the bots they like and the bots put it on their desks as little treasures.

Whenever an Autobot is sick or wounded, all the cavemen came in together, with little drums and flowers, and they do some singing and dancing rituals because they think this can bring their bots back to health. Ratchet find it annoying and always try to shoo them out, but most bots loved it and wanted them to stay.

The cavemen see the Autobots as deities, essentially, and even sometimes bring dead deers and pigs to try to sacrifice it to them (same way cats bring home dead mouse and birds). Optimus try to explain to them they are making a mess but they don’t always understand. So he just throw the offerings out when they are not looking.

The Decepticons also always find cavemen getting into their spaceship cause they thought it is a giant cave (mostly not the ones kept by the Autobots), so the cons tried to keep them out by putting human-sized rat traps all over the place, but the cavemen learn them quick, and Starscream stepped into more of them then any cavemen ever did.

[mountain-of-madness]

We Didn’t Start the Fire parody but it’s called We Started the Fire. Billy Joel is a Homo Erectus and the lyrics are just grunting

[atomic-chronoscaph]

One Million Years B.C. (1966)

[haveyouplayedthispinball]

Have you played this pinball?

[boof-chamber]

i used to work in the bake shop of a resort and one time i found a container of cut up strawberries in the walk-in labeled “estrawberris”

[salmonella-destroyer-of-worlds]

[stymshots]

I wish I were a baller, I wish I were Neandertaller.

[savage-rhi]

Cavemen tribe recruiters back in the day be like:

If you throw spear you hunt

If you know what plants don't kill us you gather

If you good with kids you go with kids

If you good with hands you craft things

"But what about gender roles?"

What if your best hunter Bunga has an asthma attack, and the only backup hunter available is a chick? Bunga isn't gonna do jack shit for a whiIe. Are you really gonna let the clan starve and die because "oh lord, only women pick da berries!"

I don't think our ancient predecessors gave a flying fuck about aribitrary stuff like this tbh.

[oldschoolfrp]

When you have a flying boat but you still have to row (Robin Parry, I believe, for Parry and Ste Dillon's "Scatophagium Campaign" section in Adventurer magazine 8, March 1987)

[nedhugar]

Paleolithic people