#Catholic Therapist Or Psychologist Near Me
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Gaughan Psychological Services
As a psychologist and specialist in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), I help people who feel trapped by anxiety and depression find emotional freedom and mental peace so they can recapture joy in their life. I’ll accompany you as you build emotional resilience and journey toward relief that lasts.
Address: 4400 College Blvd, Suite 190, Overland Park, KS 66211, USA Phone: 913-562-9588 Website: http://kcpsychologist.com
#Anxiety Treatment Overland Park#Depression Treatment Overland Park#CBT Overland Park#Catholic Therapist Or Psychologist Near Me#Overland Park Psychologist#Anxiety Treatment Kansas City#Depression Treatment Kansas City#CBT Kansas City
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No One Ever Asked Me If I Wanted to Change (This is a little life story. You don’t have to read it. I just wanted to tell someone and I finally had the motivation to do it. Sorry if I clog up your dash at all, I don’t know how to do the “Keep Reading” thing)
No one ever asked me if I wanted to change. I always knew from a young age that I was different from everyone else around me, I knew that I didn’t fit in. I preferred to read on my own or sit in a corner of the playground by myself while everyone else decided to play sports (mostly football/soccer). Which was fine, since I had no interest in those things. I was quite content just being me, and not being like everyone else. I liked to learn new things about the world around me, and I had little to no value for friendships or human connection (it was there, but it was not a primary concern of mine. I liked being alone). I enjoyed learning more than anything else. My reading age was always further ahead of the rest of my class. I only learned when I turned 6 or 7 that I really enjoyed reading encyclopedias, and showing off to my fellow classmates and adult figures in my life. I enjoyed the praise and adulation I received. I also found a fondness for maths, as shown by the fact that my first two maths copies are full of correct answers (not a single mistake in my copies from my first 2 schools. Maybe a handful but most of my copies are unscathed). I used to do extra work outside of school just because I liked learning that much. I enjoyed writing reports on my favorite animals, as well as designing characters for comics and stories. I had creative outlets I enjoyed using, as well as intellectual pursuits.
My parents suspected something was “wrong” with me for a long time but could never pin their finger on it. I think my teachers suspected something was different about me but most were hesitant to tell me about it. According to my parents, I had unusual bedtimes (still do XP) and one day I stayed up late thinking about the universe and what created it. When I realized there was no definitive answer, I became incredibly anxious. I never really had any kind of faith in a “god” (at least not the Catholic one, which I’ve been surrounded by for my whole life) but when I realized it must have been a god which created the universe, I then became anxious about who created god, which has been ever-present anxiety of mine and never really gone away. The next day in school, I basically had an anxiety attack in class, which prompted my teacher to tell my parents to seek help for me (why they didn’t do so beforehand is beyond me). A temporary solution was to do yoga in school, which didn’t really help since my brain was too logical to accept that it would work. There were also various attempts to shove me into afterschool events, and while I appreciated people trying to help me, I didn’t appreciate not being asked if I wanted “help”. I was a perfectly fine being who I was, and yes, I probably did need help, but I didn’t want my whole personality to change.
This pervading feeling of being changed, sculpted by people who had no business doing so made me really upset looking back, but because I have trouble expressing myself and standing up for myself, I just let it happen.
I start going to therapy when I was 9 years old, and this was where my personality really began to change. I never understood my other classmates, especially not the male ones (I thought for a long time that I was just a girl and no one told me. It was that or a robot. Either way, I don’t think I was ever big on gender but little me just accepted that it was too hard to bother getting worried about). My therapist told me to focus on building up my relationship with male classmates since I was more likely to have more in common with them (even though I always got on better with the girls) and so I felt like I was being forced to change my interests to adapt myself to be more sociable with my classmates. Again, no one asked me if that’s what I wanted.
Around this time, I also started attending a local youth center, which was small and segregated by gender (essentially). It made social interaction easier, but it meant I spent a lot of time with people I didn’t really like, and it was mostly boys. My work in the center led to me being accepted on a scholarship to my current school, which is a private all-boys Catholic school. It’s a very small school (less than 200 pupils), which meant it was easier to socialize and also get specialized attention from teachers. Except that most teachers don’t acknowledge that I have certain problems (I don’t even think I could describe half of them). I then began volunteering in the youth center after school, leading group activities for children and helping raise money for the center. It was a good experience for the most part, but I soon came to realize that the stress and time I was dedicating to the center were not worth the benefits (this was when I was around 16 if anyone cares about the chronology).
Just to back up a little bit, I finished my therapy when I was 13, which meant I had to set my own social goals. My isolation from females meant I decided to make my aim to get a girlfriend (I realized I was at an age where I could do that, and I thought the experience would be helpful for when I was older). I’m fairly certain this meant I got a crush on pretty much any girl who showed any kind of interest in me (yeah, I feel bad about that). I also got a phone around this time, as well as my first crush. I got bullied in school over the crush by everyone in my class, and older students I didn’t even know. My use of the phone also isolated me. Both of these factors made it so I was pretty depressed for most of my first year in school, and pretty much all the years after that.
My school has a conservative, individualist approach to personal development, which made me feel like I had to sort these issues out by myself and that it was my own fault for not wanting to change enough. I was frustrated and in internal turmoil with myself over how I was feeling, which wasn’t helping the recent discovery I had made that I regretted my therapy and found it wasn’t helping me.
I got a diagnosis of Autism when I was 9 (Asperger’s Syndrome then). I was told I have a very logical mind, an IQ of 120, and had trouble empathizing with others around me. It came along with lots of other connotations and informed my identity. It was one of the only identities I felt comfortable using. Then, when I was 14/15, I went to my school psychologist and told him about the diagnosis. A year later, he told me that someone “bullshitted me” and that he thought it was more likely that I had a vestibular disorder (a problem with my inner ear, which badly affects my balance and social skills), which meant I had near-constant anxiety over my sense of identity.
This leads me to a place where I’m at right now. Last year or the year before I found out what a nihilist is. I found that being apathetic made it easier to live, and combined with my tendency to mask my autistic traits means that I don’t really know who I am. It feels like there are multiple “mes” in my head.
I guess to kinda summarise,I’ve always felt different from everyone around me. People have always felt like I need to be “fixed”,without ever asking how I felt about it.or what I wanted to change. A combination of social circumstances means that I now no longer really have any sense of connection to myself or who I am. I feel like a walking contradiction. I don’t know who I am or who I want to be. I never feel fully satisfied with things,I feel like I’m always looking for more. But I never know what more is. I feel like I always push people away,and I’ve never really had other people want to stick around with me for a long time. So many people have tried to craft me into what they view as the perfect version of me, and they’ve all failed. No one really knows me,I think. So many get close,and then I usually push them away. I don’t know why I’m like this. I finder it harder and harder to learn things. I don’t know who I am,who I was or who I’m going to be. But I do no one ever asked me if I wanted to change.
#I expect to go back and edit this later#there are lots of things in this that no one irl knows about me#sorry that it's a bit of a mess. I write stream of conscience
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Addiction Treatment Buffalo Ny
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The Long Road to a Redemption Story
Identity is a story that comes in three basic parts. First is communion – who we are connected to, who we love; second is agency – what we have done and contributed in our lives; and third, redemption – how we have transformed the bad things that happened to us into something good. Most of us can site many times we have created happy endings from nasty situations. This is one of mine. It takes a long and winding road with a cast of characters (many who shall remain nameless) and extraordinary experiences, each adding a major milestone. Redemption would take well over a decade to be revealed to me.
OK, here’s the bad thing. My best friend betrayed me by having an affair with my husband which I didn’t find out about until two years after my divorce.
When I met her, I was 29, divorced with two kids, and commuting from a NY suburb to my Manhattan job on the Penn Central Railroad. My neighbor Fred introduced us saying she had a good weed connection. Our friendship began just as I was beginning to date the man who, within three years, would become my second husband. My BFF danced at our wedding. She became the sister I never had.
In the second year of my new marriage, my family moved from NY to Texas. Dallas launched my princess career. He had a great job, making lots of money. We got a great house. My kids were enrolled in a great private school. And, no longer needing to work, I built an art studio in the house and put my National Academy of Design training to work as a portrait sculptor. Life was full of carpool, art, tennis, jogging, and socializing.
My long, lost sister was a constant presence, no matter where we were. Our first Dallas summer of 100+ degree days, we rented a house for a month on the beach in Long Island. BFF arrived to visit with a surprising new practice – Nichiren Shoshu Buddhism, a sect that believes we can unlock the limitless potential of our inner lives and achieve Buddhahood in this lifetime. While she was locked away in her room chanting, nam myoho renge kyo for long periods of time, we were snarkily chuckling that she sounded like a buzzing bee. She tried to get me interested. “Herbie Hancock and Tina Turner are Buddhists” she said. I would have none of it.
The following year, during one of her regular visits to Dallas, I was suffering a highly unusual and excruciating migraine headache. BFF knew just the cure – chant nam myo ho renge kyo. I was desperate. After about 20 minutes, my headache was gone. And thus began what the Buddhists call, shakubuku, the initiation process into the Buddhist practice. She connected me to a local chapter where I could meet people and learn to recite the gongyo, the morning and evening prayers. From my first meeting, I was captivated by the sound, the harmony, the vibration, and the joy of these people chanting together.
Through my regular practice with this chapter I came to know the family of TV star from the show DALLAS. While they were residents of California, they spent each of their summers in Dallas for location shooting of the show. Seeing my work, they commissioned me to sculpt a portrait of their two boys, who were about eight and three years old at the time. As summer turned to fall and they prepared to travel west, they asked me to shakubuku a woman named Carolyn, the ex-girlfriend of a doctor who had rented them their house the previous year. Happy to oblige, I arranged for a meeting in which I taught her to chant.
Carolyn was the most dazzling, free spirit I’d ever met. She was a model, a dancer, an actress, and a pothead. I would regularly go to her house where we would chant for a while, then smoke a joint, and go to one of Dallas’s luxury watering holes for champagne.
Carolyn introduced me to her friends, a husband and wife who owned a resort in Mexico and were purveyors of the drug Ecstasy, or MDMA, which, at the time, was still unknown and unclassified by the Drug Enforcement Agency. In other words, legal. Ecstasy was a life-altering experience. I’d had a commonly reported reaction – I felt my heart opening in a way that I can feel to this day, so many years later.
One evening during a small cocktail party at my house with Carolyn and her friends, our doorbell was rung by a young family. Enter Blair and Stephen, and their 18-month old son, Seraphim. They had been on their way to their home in Austin and had stopped by to meet the resort owners just to say “hello” and give them thanks for the wonderful time they had had at their resort. With our hearts Ecstasy-wide open, we invited them to stay, which they did, for three days.
Blair and Stephen were the personification of The New Age. During our time together, they taught me how to rebirth, a type of breath work invented by the therapist Leonard Orr. The basic idea is that you can heal whatever ails you by re-experiencing the trauma surrounding your birth. It’s really just conscious, circular, yogic breathing that can be done lying flat or under water with a snorkel. Traditional psychologists have voted to discredit it. But, for me, it was extraordinarily powerful.
Blair and Stephen were aspiring breatharians. (If you’ve never heard of breatharians, think “vegetarian,” only substitute breath for veggies.) I know. But stay with me. They believed that it is possible for a person to live without consuming food, purely on prana, Sanskrit for life force, IF you could eliminate all toxins from your body, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Go ahead and Google this. There have been many articles written on breatharians and breathariansim. At that particular moment in time, they were subsisting as fruitarians and followers of Baba Muktananda and Siddha yoga, working to scrub their souls clean.
Blair was a practicing medium. She channeled a Canadian Catholic priest from the 1800’s named “Father Andre.” This was the first time I had ever encountered a channeled being. Blair would go into a meditation, and with her eyes closed, a new voice sprang from her lips, with wisdom and guidance for those in her audience. Father Andre told me that I was like the sands of the desert, beautiful but frequently shifting, and failing to give solid ground to my children. I could see it. This harsh counsel came with a strong recommendation, “You need to do the est Training.” Naturally, I picked up the phone and enrolled in the next program.
Est, an 80-hour two-weekend training, was developed by Werner Erhard in the 1970’s. Est promised “to transform one’s ability to experience living so that the situations one had been trying to change or had been putting up with, clear up just in the process of life itself.” In truth, the training stopped my self-doubt and striving to be someone I was not, and actually produced a sense of perfection and responsibility. I came away from est feeling as though my life had taken a dramatic turn. I stopped drinking and drugging and encouraged my husband, whose drinking I was always working to keep up with, along with several of my closest friends, to do the training also.
As an enthusiastic and tremendously appreciative participant, I became a holy roller advocate for the training and guest seminar leader, leading evenings about the training to enroll newcomers. That’s where I met Lisa, my newest best friend and certainly the smartest and funniest woman I’ve ever known. Lisa was 11 years younger than I and 11 years older than my oldest daughter. We became so close that my husband had suggested that she could support my spiritual needs while he supported my financial ones. This didn’t work out so well. I was living a sober life with my husband, with whom I could find little in common, and simultaneously falling in love with Lisa. We divorced one year after the training.
Lisa moved in the day after he moved out. Her brilliance transported me from my desolation and fear to excitement about the blank canvas that I was. It would take a couple of years before I could come to terms with the failure of my marriage.
With no husband to support me, finance instantaneously became a priority in my life again. The job title, ‘princess/sculptor’ did not seem promising for generating anywhere near the income I needed to maintain the lifestyle to which I had become accustomed. I had to come up with a new career, and fast. Forced to examine what I had done in my life, I was completely stymied at how to combine my experience in visual art, sales, business analysis, and mother, and articulate it in the form of a new offer. And to whom would I make this invaluable offer?
Lisa connected me to a program on entrepreneurship that was being given by a Werner Erhard connection, Fernando Flores. Some background on Flores: At 29, he was the youngest minister in the Salvador Allende presidency. Remember the American-backed coup in Chile in 1973? Allende died and Flores was isolated in a political prison at the hands of Augusto Pinochet. After three years, Flores was released through the efforts of Amnesty International and went to Stanford to do his Ph.D. His doctoral thesis “Communication in the Office of the Future” provided important distinctions that Erhard used in his training.
The course on entrepreneurship created a huge opening for my career. I was introduced me to the fundamentals of the philosophy of language and the inevitability of the coming boom in the personal computer industry. From my years in the corporate world, I could readily see an offer to business. I returned to Dallas, a complete novice in the computer world but ready to start a company with Lisa where we sold grey market computers loaded with modems, floppy drives, and communication software.
Our first big break came with a contract with a global software company in Dallas. We were doing so well that we interested an investor in our business. Needing a staff, the first person I thought of was my old BFF who had been trying to find a job in Dallas for years.
The business venture was a disaster. We naively gave away 51% to the man with the money. Within a year, he had fired us and left us holding a $100K debt on a line of credit with which we had bought computers that our partner had sold and collected on. And while Lisa and I were fired, my BFF stayed on. It seemed that she had conspired against us, something we could hardly understand. Until the following summer when my ex-husband confessed his affair with her.
I called her immediately. At first, she denied it. When I told her that the information came from my ex-husband, she deflected by saying, “it was another time.” I offered her the opportunity to clean it up with me. She declined. I fell into a rage which turned into a righteous obsession that I couldn’t shake without several months of therapy and deep work on the nature of forgiveness.
No longer living together, Lisa and I bootstrapped a new business. Recognizing a substantial need for greater competence than our customers in communication, I immersed myself in a long-term program with Flores in the philosophy of language. Flores committed that if I would give him three years, he would teach me how to think.
In my third year of the program, a group of students went out for a night of salsa dancing. There I met Cristián, a Chilean man who studied with and worked for Flores. The moment I saw him, I knew I had to dance with him. Within two years we married.
Our highest priority was to live together authentically. One of our first commitments was to tell each other everything we didn’t want to tell the other. And in so doing, we delved into the depths of our humanity, discovering more and more of ourselves and each other, healing our shames and traumas, and continually expanded the limits of what is possible in an intimate relationship.
We have been together for almost 30 years. During this time, I developed the agency aspect of my identity. Building on my education, I created a program called Mindful Collaboration. I have become known as a virtuoso coach and team developer, working with the leadership of Fortune 100 companies.
Another significant connection came from my relationship with Flores. I coached a man named David who was struggling to create a new business. We became friends. I introduced him to a training called Avatar that was conducted at my friends’ resort in Mexico. There he fell in love with a woman who moved him to Mexico where he encountered Huichol shamans who completely changed his life. A few years later, David offered me the gift of vision quest, a traditional indigenous ritual where one goes alone to the mountain, fasting for days, sitting in a small corn circle with nothing to do and nowhere to go, praying for a vision. The mountain showed me the intricate, sacred, interconnectedness of all life. This great gift answered the question I didn’t know that I had, but was the force that had been driving me, “why am I here?”
The portrait of my life is drawn by connecting the dots of these remarkable encounters. Meeting the mountain was a dot that forms the heart of my portrait, like a keystone holding it all together.
Bringing the sacred into our lives has given our couple a palpable resonance, one that has had people constantly asking what it is we know. Ten years ago, we began to offer a course together called The Dance of Relationship that shows that love is a dance everyone can learn. We share our most significant commitments and provide practices for mastering the moves of the dance. The course awakens the heart of all who come.
We have become great learners, Cristián and I. This is the secret to redemption – find the gift in those failures and pain, use them to become masterful in life. I sit in great gratitude to my old BFF for putting me on the path of learning and finding my amazing partner. Without her, I wouldn’t be who I am today.
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Thrashed, Lost, and Found
Day 7 hurt as much as every day has. It still started out with a forceful morning workout, my cousin has asked me a couple of times if I’d go with her to her gym in the afternoon but working out is something I have to do alone. I know she can do her routine and I can do mine but even the commute needs to be a separate thing. I was dragged to church, even though it’s Catholic I went and listened to what the priest had to say. I kept getting lost in thought and spent time admiring the architectural brilliance of the church. I wanted to go out by myself, I thought it’s time to shave the beard and needed razors (maybe it was just the only excuse I had). I took the bus and we were robbed, even though I was scared I was still aware of how dangerous the state has become thanks to increasing foreign migration. I don’t mean to sound xenophobic and I’m not even blaming the South American migrants, I’m blaming the people that come from other states to those that had stable security in their endless turf wars or those from the capital that have become so wanted by their local enforcement agencies to flee and do what they’re doing here. Anyhow, this short guy in his mid 20′s comes into the bus and asks to hold on a moment before paying. The bus starts moving at this point because the buses are in a hurry. It’s not too packed which is great for my anxiety and I’m looking out the window because I’m a melancholic fuck that needs serotonin and sunlight helps with that. I see some people in front of me shuffle suddenly and it made me startle and grasp the situation... hey we’re getting robbed. I didn’t notice the guy in the back with the backpack collecting money, phones and jewelry until it was my turn. As confident I am of my self-defense abilities, I’m no match for a guy with a gun. My anxiety manifested in a form of angry annoyance instead of fear. I gave them my broken iphone (which thankfully I only took the spare one that I use as an ipod but also has whatsapp installed and all of my contacts... it’s too long a story to explain now), my wallet with an estimated equivalent of $10 dollars and my wired headphones. I could tell that backpack guy was somewhat disappointed in everything they gathered but what do you expect on a Sunday afternoon in a half empty bus that’s going AWAY from the capital. I applaud your efforts, you sad elementary school dropout but thieving doesn’t give participation trophies or a pat on the back (unless you’re a prison bitch, then I guess it’s more than pats on the back). They quickly pointed the gun at the driver and made him pull over by an empty lot, my mind went to “we’re getting executed” which made me angrier. The one that gets to kill me is ME, that much has always been decided and I don’t even mean that in a suicidal way. If I die because of a mistake I made or an action I knowingly took that sent me to my demise, I’d be okay with that. My point is, they ran away and I wanted to go after them but getting shot is not in my to do list. The bus driver had radioed someone to call the police, they came in what felt like 10 minutes-ish and a forever for their police reports. I told them everything I saw, I gave them all my necessary information and details of the items that were stolen. I didn’t see much point in cooperating since the police are famous for being useless in this country and the four that arrived reeked of incompetence and Sunday laziness. I walked back home after that, it was a 30 minute walk... always has been. I realized I took 2 and a half hours between all of that when I got home. I told my mother I went for a walk and got distracted, went to my room and that’s when everything started sinking in. I grew up in a dangerous neighborhood no matter where I lived, having a gun pointed at was something that’s never going to stop being terrifying but the impact lessens over time. After some time of empty staring, I got the phone my father sent a year ago and activated that one, it has less memory and all I really need is music but it’s the thought that counts. I saw a couple of messages from you asking if I’m there and looks like you wanted to talk. I told you I got robbed, you didn’t believe me but this isn’t one of those things to lie about. There’s nothing impressive about getting robbed at gunpoint. My anxiety didn’t go off the rails despite the lack of Xanax in my system, it was a strange feeling and did not know how to rationalize it. I tried to pass it off as being okay, talking to you makes everything easier. You told me you’re redoing the house and talking about your self-worth. Telling me to tell my therapist how strong you are and how beautiful you are and how you’ve shouldered everything for the past year. How fucking dare you, of course I have but I’ve also talked about how controlling you’ve been and the thing I don’t want to do is go from patient to psychologist trying to compare results based on notes and observations about you. Therapy is where I make me about me, it’s step one on a healthy dose of selfishness. So we talked about how you’re Marie Kondoing and suggested I do the same, I told you that I’m not in a head space where assessing joy is a good idea. We talked about how we both need the man I used to be, how tired you are and the things you deserve. I mentioned that my stepdad finally got himself together and I was very surprised, these past 10 years haven’t been very kind to us and he got lazy and complacent and irresponsible. After having been dumped by my mom was when he went back to being hardworking and providing for her and my brother. He’s been incredibly supportive of whatever this thing I’m going through is. We spoke in a way that can only be described like we needed to cheer each other on, and then another “I don’t believe you got robbed” stab. As much as I would like your support yet not seeking it because I’m respecting your space, I really don’t need your doubt. I told you I was looking forward to our monthly in-person meet, which you forgot and it hurt. That was probably the most crushing moment of our whole conversation but powered through it. Sometimes I think I should just divorce you because you’re too much of a coward to ask for it because that is what you really want and I want to work on this but won’t get the chance to get there. We had a nice conversation and cut it short, sleep was calling to me. I woke up late at night and saw that you texted again, I don’t know if you were battling with loneliness again and wanted to talk to me. A part of me wants to tell you to fuck off and seek solace in the Facebook friends you arduously ignored me for but I think you’re doing that and it’s not working as well as you’d hoped. I think we’re both fighting that codependency we have for each other, leading to struggles with our own loneliness. I can’t really speak for you and can only assume. I just told you I went for my late night drink of water. We texted a little on Day 8, sent you a funny ad I got on a website while working. I’m still worried that you’re not eating well and haven’t found someone to pay to cook for you or deliver a healthy meal to you. I spent all of Day 8 hating myself out loud because I had the house to myself and trying not to text you. I also spent it playing GTA 5 and watching how Michael lost his family and is slowly getting them back in their own organically dysfunctional way while having Chicago’s “if you leave me now” playing on the radio station of the car he got in. Rockstar, you’re not fair to me right now. After so many years and changing availability, I still haven’t finished the game but it’s hitting so many sore spots for me right now. Great job, me, you’ve replaced your dependency from Xanax to video games and enjoy neither. I’ve helped my stepdad clean his car during the weekend, Hank sees me near the car and he behaves like we’re going back home. He scratches my leg, getting permission to get in but doesn’t see that it’s just to clean it and not to make a 2 hour trip back to a place we thought everyone was happy in. You sent me a philosophical quote about healing, I looked it up and thanked you for it. I went on to spend my night playing mindlessly, reading on and off about endogenous depression because I stumbled upon a paper I was reading about it in my closet here. Grad school B paper, no easy feat. I spent my night torturing myself internally. Weening off Xanax to help me sleep has not been kind, I’m down to a quarter a day again.
Day 9. I’m proud of myself for not reactivating my Facebook to stalk you since Friday-ish or Thursday. I needed one of the links I had saved and checked your posts since I was already there. Still, I need to stop. I’m getting everything out in a public way while maintaining myself anonymous and you’re getting everything out in a more “everybody, this marriage has been so shitty despite having my husband change jobs and work outside the house in order to pay for everything”. Yes you did the housewife thing and you did it great, I just needed you great and not a clean house or a highly elaborate meal but that’s what I came home to and a wife that had just enough energy to kinda eat. Your mother and my father did come to our rescue one too many times before we got married and while I started my new job. When you said you were told about Stratus, I encouraged you and said I wanted you happy but whatever floats your boat. Day 9 is just starting with sarcastic clients and a very annoyed me. If parting is such sweet sorrow, I don’t have many assets but I’m still meeting an attorney this Friday to set up a will. Just in case.
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How Buddhism Became Therapy
Dressed in flowing gold robes, the bald female meditation teacher told us to do nothing. We were to sit silently in our plastic chairs, close our eyes, and focus on our breath. I had never meditated, but I’d gone to church, so I instinctively bowed my head. Then I realized that, since this would last for 15 minutes, I should probably find a more comfortable long-term neck position.
This was the first of two meditation sessions of the Kadampa Buddhism class I attended this week near my house in Northern Virginia, and I did not reach nirvana. Since we were in a major city, occasional sirens outside blasted through the quiet, and since this was a church basement, people were laughing and talking in the hallways. One guy wandered in to ask if this was an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. The more we focused on our breath, the teacher assured us, the more these distractions would fade away.
After we had meditated for 15 minutes, the teacher shifted focus to the topic of the class: Letting go of resentments. This was the real reason I had come to this meditation class, rather than simply meditating on my own at home with an app. I wanted to learn more about Buddhism and how its teachings might be able to improve my mental health—and that of the myriads of other Americans who have flocked to some form of the religion in recent years. These newcomers aren’t necessarily seeking spiritual enlightenment or a faith community, but rather a quick boost of cognitive healing.
The people I spoke with were young and old, but rarely Buddhist by birth. Perhaps some have just run out of options: Mental-health disorders are up in Western societies, and the answer doesn’t seem to be church attendance, which is down. There’s always therapy, but it’s so expensive. My meditation class was $12.
As she opened a book on Buddhist teachings, the teacher told the class it’s harmful to hold grudges. Resentment feels like holding on to a burning stick and complaining that it’s burning us. And yet, being harmed by someone also hurts. So, the teacher said, the question was this: “What do I do with my mind if I feel like I’ve been harmed by someone?”
Americans everywhere seem to be asking themselves variations on this very question: What do we do with our minds?
The forty-something dad in Los Angeles was plateauing. He had achieved most of his career goals, rising to the level of senior manager at a large company. But the competitive nature of the work had taken its toll on his marriage, and he was in the process of getting a divorce. He rarely saw his grown children. “In short, I am going through a midlife crisis,” the dad told me via email, a few days before I attended the meditation class. (He asked to remain anonymous because his divorce and other struggles aren’t public.)
Last year, this dad turned to traditional psychotherapy for a few months, but he didn’t see as much of a benefit from it as he had hoped. He felt like he was mostly being taught to justify destructive emotions and behaviors. His therapist did, however, recommend two books that were helpful: How to Be an Adult in Relationships, by David Richo, and The Wise Heart by Jack Kornfield. Both authors work in Buddhist themes and ideas, and earlier this year they introduced him to the practice of meditation.
Hungry for more, the dad recently attended a Buddhist meditation class in Hollywood, where he learned ways to deepen his own meditation practice and to change his approach to relationships. Now, he feels more open and is willing to be more vulnerable around his family and friends. “As a Catholic, I struggle with some of the religious concepts,” he says, “But it doesn’t prevent me from adopting the Buddhist techniques and philosophies.” Besides, he told me, it really does seem like the universe is putting Buddhism in front of him now.
Though precise numbers on its popularity are hard to come by, Buddhism does seem to be emerging in the Western, type-A universe. The journalist Robert Wright’s Why Buddhism is True became a bestseller in 2017. Buddhist meditation centers have recently popped up in places like Knoxville, Tennessee, and Lakewood, Ohio. There are now dozens of Buddhist podcasts, which doesn’t include all the apps and playlists that are geared specifically toward personal, non-Buddhist meditation. Four in 10 American adults now say they meditate at least weekly.
Hugh Byrne, the director of the Center for Mindful Living meditation center in Washington, D.C., says the local meditation community has “blossomed in the past few years.” As I stress-Ubered from meeting to meeting in D.C. recently, I noticed a few “meditation spaces” have opened up where far more consumerist establishments used to be. Academic research on mindfulness meditation has also exploded, making what in the West was once an esoteric practice for hippies more akin to a life-hack for all.
Buddhism has been popular in various forms among certain celebrities and tech elites, but the religion’s primary draw for many Americans now appears to be mental health. The ancient religion, some find, helps them manage the slings and arrows and subtweets of modern life. Many people are stressed out by the constant drama of the current administration, and work hours have overwhelmed the day. There’s something newly appealing about a practice that instructs you to just sit, be aware, and realize nothing lasts forever. Perhaps it’s simply comforting to know that the problems that bedevil humans have been around since long before Gmail.
A few themes and ideas seem to unite the disparate experiences of the people I interviewed. The Buddha’s first “Noble Truth” is that “life is suffering,” and many of Buddhism’s newly minted Western practitioners have interpreted this to mean that accepting emotional pain might be preferable to trying to alleviate it. “Buddhism admits that suffering is inevitable,” says Daniel Sanchez, a 24-year-old in New Jersey. “I shouldn’t focus on avoiding suffering, but learn how to deal with suffering.”
In addition to meditating every morning and night, Sanchez reads the Diamond Sutra and Heart Sutra, texts from the early Middle Ages, and listens to zen talks. The sutras are quite a departure from the normal content of psychotherapy, in which one might ponder what truly makes one happy. Buddhist thought suggests that one should not compulsively crave comfort and avoid discomfort, which some see as permission to hop off the hedonic treadmill.
A Colorado life coach named Galen Bernard told me that Comfortable with Uncertainty, by the Buddhist nun Pema Chodron, has influenced his well-being more than anything, except perhaps his very first experience on Prozac. He says the book and its teachings have helped him avoid labeling certain experiences as negative by default. For example, transitioning to a friendship with an ex-girlfriend after a breakup was painful for him at first, but Chodron’s and others’ writings helped him see that “it might seem like too much pain,” he says, “but actually it’s just an experience I’m having that … can actually be a portal to joy on the other side.”
For decades, people have been attempting self-improvement through classes and seminars, many of which incorporated elements of Eastern religions. The Human Potential Movement of the 1960s influenced the work of the foundational psychologist Abraham Maslow and, perhaps less positively, the Rajneesh movement documented in the Netflix show Wild Wild Country. In the 1970s, the organization Erhard Seminars Training, or EST, offered courses on how to “take responsibility for your life” and “get it.”
What’s different—and perhaps comforting—about Buddhism is that it’s an existing religion practiced by half a billion people. Because relatively few caucasian Americans grew up Buddhist, they generally don’t associate any familial baggage with it like some do with, say, the Christianity or Judaism of their childhoods. While liberating, this also means that the practice of secular Buddhism often differs dramatically from the religion itself. All of the secular practitioners I spoke with for this piece are reading different books, listening to different podcasts, and following different teachers and traditions. Their interpretations of Buddhist teachings aren’t necessarily consistent with one another or with traditional texts.
I ran some of their insights by an expert in Buddhism, David McMahan at Franklin and Marshall College, who said some of these Western interpretations are slightly morphed from Buddhism’s original cultures and contexts. Buddhism carries with it a set of values and morals that white Americans don’t always live by. Much like “Cafeteria Catholics” ignore parts of the religion that don’t resonate with them, some Westerners focus on only certain elements of Buddhist philosophy and don’t endorse, say, Buddhism’s view of reincarnation or worship of the Buddha. Call them Buffet Buddhists.
Taken out of their Buddhist context, practices like meditation “become like a dry sponge,” McMahan said, “soaking up whatever values are around.” Traditional monks don’t “meditate for business.”
This so-called “secular Buddhism,” says Autry Johnson, a Colorado bartender and tourism worker who meditates regularly, “is a little more accessible to people that wouldn’t primarily identify as Buddhists, or already identify with another religion or philosophy but want to adopt aspects of Buddhist practice to supplement their current worldview.” (Indeed, many meditation centers emphasize that you don’t have to be Buddhist to attend sessions.)
Buffet Buddhism may not be traditional, but its flexibility does allow its adherents to more easily employ the philosophy for an anti-depressive jolt. Some people practice Buddhism and meditation as an alternative to psychotherapy or psychiatric medication, given mental health care’s cost and scarcity: Sixty percent of counties in the U.S. don’t have a single psychiatrist. “I have pretty good health insurance,” Bernard says, “but if I want support, it’s a month and a half to see someone new. Having a resource that I can pop open is invaluable.”
Some people turn to both Buddhism and psychotherapy. “There’s an overlap between the reason people will come to therapy and the reason they come to meditation,” says Byrne, the director of the Center for Mindful Living. Some therapists are even starting to incorporate Buddhist concepts into their practices. Tara Brach, a psychologist and the founder of the Insight Meditation Community of Washington, D.C., offers meditations and talks with titles like “From Human Doing to Human Being” on her website. In Texas, the psychologist Molly Layton encourages clients to mindfully “sit with their thoughts,” rather than to “jump into the cycle of their thinking.”
Mary Liz Austin, who practices psychotherapy at the Center for Mindful Living, similarly helps clients see that “it’s the attachment to the outcome that really causes suffering.” Another favorite teaching of hers is Chodron’s aphorism that “everything is workable.” This means, essentially, that something good might come out of even the worst moments. “I’m having an experience right now with my father in law. He’s dying of cancer. It’s a shitty situation,” Austin says. “But what I’m seeing is that the fruits of this cancer diagnosis is everyone is by his bedside, everyone is showing amazing love to him, and that allows the people in your life to show up in a way that you see so much what matters.”
At times, it’s the meditation teachers who sound more like psychotherapists, offering practical tips for dealing with existential quandaries. Byrne, a meditation teacher, wrote a book about the power of mindfulness for habit change. He uses mindfulness meditation to help people understand impermanence, another Buddhist teaching. The idea is to see your emotions and experiences—including anxiety or pain—as constantly changing, “like a weather system coming through,” Byrne says. Everything, eventually, ends.
Cecilia Saad found this to be an especially attractive element of Buddhism. A close friend of hers was diagnosed with cancer three years ago, and Saad was impressed by how calm she remained throughout her diagnosis and treatment. “We’ve talked a lot about her outlook, and she always goes back to her Buddhism,” she says. Now, when Saad is stressed about something, the concept of impermanence helps her to imagine that she’s already survived the event she’s dreading.
At my meditation class, the teacher read from her book in her even, perfectly unaccented voice. The book told us to consider that there are two reasons someone might cause us harm: It’s their nature to be harmful, or a temporary circumstance caused them to act in a harmful way. Either way, the teacher said, it doesn’t make sense to be angry at the person. The nature of water is wet, so you wouldn’t rage at the rain for getting you wet. And you wouldn’t curse the clouds for temporarily having a weather system that causes a downpour.
“When are we compelled to hurt people?” she asked, rhetorically. “When we’re in pain. It’s easy, if you see the fear, to have some compassion.”
She asked us to close our eyes and meditate again, this time while thinking about letting go of resentment toward someone who had harmed us. I shifted awkwardly and wondered how the burly guy sitting in front of me wearing a “Lift Life” t-shirt felt. I was having trouble focusing on resentment, and my eyes flickered open involuntarily. It was 30 degrees outside, yet most of the seats were taken. The fullness was uplifting. Still, it was remarkable that so many of us were willing to stumble through the freezing dark just to take in some basic wisdom about how to be less sad.
In Sunday school, when you opened your eyes during prayer, other kids would tell on you, thereby implicating themselves as having opened their eyes, too. That’s how people are sometimes, I thought: They’ll burn themselves for the chance to harm someone else. I took a deep breath and tried to have compassion for them anyway.
from Health News And Updates https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2019/03/buddhism-meditation-anxiety-therapy/584308/?utm_source=feed
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Text
How Buddhism Became Therapy
Dressed in flowing gold robes, the bald female meditation teacher told us to do nothing. We were to sit silently in our plastic chairs, close our eyes, and focus on our breath. I had never meditated, but I’d gone to church, so I instinctively bowed my head. Then I realized that, since this would last for 15 minutes, I should probably find a more comfortable long-term neck position.
This was the first of two meditation sessions of the Kadampa Buddhism class I attended this week near my house in Northern Virginia, and I did not reach nirvana. Since we were in a major city, occasional sirens outside blasted through the quiet, and since this was a church basement, people were laughing and talking in the hallways. One guy wandered in to ask if this was an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. The more we focused on our breath, the teacher assured us, the more these distractions would fade away.
After we had meditated for 15 minutes, the teacher shifted focus to the topic of the class: Letting go of resentments. This was the real reason I had come to this meditation class, rather than simply meditating on my own at home with an app. I wanted to learn more about Buddhism and how its teachings might be able to improve my mental health—and that of the myriads of other Americans who have flocked to some form of the religion in recent years. These newcomers aren’t necessarily seeking spiritual enlightenment or a faith community, but rather a quick boost of cognitive healing.
The people I spoke with were young and old, but rarely Buddhist by birth. Perhaps some have just run out of options: Mental-health disorders are up in Western societies, and the answer doesn’t seem to be church attendance, which is down. There’s always therapy, but it’s so expensive. My meditation class was $12.
As she opened a book on Buddhist teachings, the teacher told the class it’s harmful to hold grudges. Resentment feels like holding on to a burning stick and complaining that it’s burning us. And yet, being harmed by someone also hurts. So, the teacher said, the question was this: “What do I do with my mind if I feel like I’ve been harmed by someone?”
Americans everywhere seem to be asking themselves variations on this very question: What do we do with our minds?
The forty-something dad in Los Angeles was plateauing. He had achieved most of his career goals, rising to the level of senior manager at a large company. But the competitive nature of the work had taken its toll on his marriage, and he was in the process of getting a divorce. He rarely saw his grown children. “In short, I am going through a midlife crisis,” the dad told me via email, a few days before I attended the meditation class. (He asked to remain anonymous because his divorce and other struggles aren’t public.)
Last year, this dad turned to traditional psychotherapy for a few months, but he didn’t see as much of a benefit from it as he had hoped. He felt like he was mostly being taught to justify destructive emotions and behaviors. His therapist did, however, recommend two books that were helpful: How to Be an Adult in Relationships, by David Richo, and The Wise Heart by Jack Kornfield. Both authors work in Buddhist themes and ideas, and earlier this year they introduced him to the practice of meditation.
Hungry for more, the dad recently attended a Buddhist meditation class in Hollywood, where he learned ways to deepen his own meditation practice and to change his approach to relationships. Now, he feels more open and is willing to be more vulnerable around his family and friends. “As a Catholic, I struggle with some of the religious concepts,” he says, “But it doesn’t prevent me from adopting the Buddhist techniques and philosophies.” Besides, he told me, it really does seem like the universe is putting Buddhism in front of him now.
Though precise numbers on its popularity are hard to come by, Buddhism does seem to be emerging in the Western, type-A universe. The journalist Robert Wright’s Why Buddhism is True became a bestseller in 2017. Buddhist meditation centers have recently popped up in places like Knoxville, Tennessee, and Lakewood, Ohio. There are now dozens of Buddhist podcasts, which doesn’t include all the apps and playlists that are geared specifically toward personal, non-Buddhist meditation. Four in 10 American adults now say they meditate at least weekly.
Hugh Byrne, the director of the Center for Mindful Living meditation center in Washington, D.C., says the local meditation community has “blossomed in the past few years.” As I stress-Ubered from meeting to meeting in D.C. recently, I noticed a few “meditation spaces” have opened up where far more consumerist establishments used to be. Academic research on mindfulness meditation has also exploded, making what in the West was once an esoteric practice for hippies more akin to a life-hack for all.
Buddhism has been popular in various forms among certain celebrities and tech elites, but the religion’s primary draw for many Americans now appears to be mental health. The ancient religion, some find, helps them manage the slings and arrows and subtweets of modern life. Many people are stressed out by the constant drama of the current administration, and work hours have overwhelmed the day. There’s something newly appealing about a practice that instructs you to just sit, be aware, and realize nothing lasts forever. Perhaps it’s simply comforting to know that the problems that bedevil humans have been around since long before Gmail.
A few themes and ideas seem to unite the disparate experiences of the people I interviewed. The Buddha’s first “Noble Truth” is that “life is suffering,” and many of Buddhism’s newly minted Western practitioners have interpreted this to mean that accepting emotional pain might be preferable to trying to alleviate it. “Buddhism admits that suffering is inevitable,” says Daniel Sanchez, a 24-year-old in New Jersey. “I shouldn’t focus on avoiding suffering, but learn how to deal with suffering.”
In addition to meditating every morning and night, Sanchez reads the Diamond Sutra and Heart Sutra, texts from the early Middle Ages, and listens to zen talks. The sutras are quite a departure from the normal content of psychotherapy, in which one might ponder what truly makes one happy. Buddhist thought suggests that one should not compulsively crave comfort and avoid discomfort, which some see as permission to hop off the hedonic treadmill.
A Colorado life coach named Galen Bernard told me that Comfortable with Uncertainty, by the Buddhist nun Pema Chodron, has influenced his well-being more than anything, except perhaps his very first experience on Prozac. He says the book and its teachings have helped him avoid labeling certain experiences as negative by default. For example, transitioning to a friendship with an ex-girlfriend after a breakup was painful for him at first, but Chodron’s and others’ writings helped him see that “it might seem like too much pain,” he says, “but actually it’s just an experience I’m having that … can actually be a portal to joy on the other side.”
For decades, people have been attempting self-improvement through classes and seminars, many of which incorporated elements of Eastern religions. The Human Potential Movement of the 1960s influenced the work of the foundational psychologist Abraham Maslow and, perhaps less positively, the Rajneesh movement documented in the Netflix show Wild Wild Country. In the 1970s, the organization Erhard Seminars Training, or EST, offered courses on how to “take responsibility for your life” and “get it.”
What’s different—and perhaps comforting—about Buddhism is that it’s an existing religion practiced by half a billion people. Because relatively few caucasian Americans grew up Buddhist, they generally don’t associate any familial baggage with it like some do with, say, the Christianity or Judaism of their childhoods. While liberating, this also means that the practice of secular Buddhism often differs dramatically from the religion itself. All of the secular practitioners I spoke with for this piece are reading different books, listening to different podcasts, and following different teachers and traditions. Their interpretations of Buddhist teachings aren’t necessarily consistent with one another or with traditional texts.
I ran some of their insights by an expert in Buddhism, David McMahan at Franklin and Marshall College, who said some of these Western interpretations are slightly morphed from Buddhism’s original cultures and contexts. Buddhism carries with it a set of values and morals that white Americans don’t always live by. Much like “Cafeteria Catholics” ignore parts of the religion that don’t resonate with them, some Westerners focus on only certain elements of Buddhist philosophy and don’t endorse, say, Buddhism’s view of reincarnation or worship of the Buddha. Call them Buffet Buddhists.
Taken out of their Buddhist context, practices like meditation “become like a dry sponge,” McMahan said, “soaking up whatever values are around.” Traditional monks don’t “meditate for business.”
This so-called “secular Buddhism,” says Autry Johnson, a Colorado bartender and tourism worker who meditates regularly, “is a little more accessible to people that wouldn’t primarily identify as Buddhists, or already identify with another religion or philosophy but want to adopt aspects of Buddhist practice to supplement their current worldview.” (Indeed, many meditation centers emphasize that you don’t have to be Buddhist to attend sessions.)
Buffet Buddhism may not be traditional, but its flexibility does allow its adherents to more easily employ the philosophy for an anti-depressive jolt. Some people practice Buddhism and meditation as an alternative to psychotherapy or psychiatric medication, given mental health care’s cost and scarcity: Sixty percent of counties in the U.S. don’t have a single psychiatrist. “I have pretty good health insurance,” Bernard says, “but if I want support, it’s a month and a half to see someone new. Having a resource that I can pop open is invaluable.”
Some people turn to both Buddhism and psychotherapy. “There’s an overlap between the reason people will come to therapy and the reason they come to meditation,” says Byrne, the director of the Center for Mindful Living. Some therapists are even starting to incorporate Buddhist concepts into their practices. Tara Brach, a psychologist and the founder of the Insight Meditation Community of Washington, D.C., offers meditations and talks with titles like “From Human Doing to Human Being” on her website. In Texas, the psychologist Molly Layton encourages clients to mindfully “sit with their thoughts,” rather than to “jump into the cycle of their thinking.”
Mary Liz Austin, who practices psychotherapy at the Center for Mindful Living, similarly helps clients see that “it’s the attachment to the outcome that really causes suffering.” Another favorite teaching of hers is Chodron’s aphorism that “everything is workable.” This means, essentially, that something good might come out of even the worst moments. “I’m having an experience right now with my father in law. He’s dying of cancer. It’s a shitty situation,” Austin says. “But what I’m seeing is that the fruits of this cancer diagnosis is everyone is by his bedside, everyone is showing amazing love to him, and that allows the people in your life to show up in a way that you see so much what matters.”
At times, it’s the meditation teachers who sound more like psychotherapists, offering practical tips for dealing with existential quandaries. Byrne, a meditation teacher, wrote a book about the power of mindfulness for habit change. He uses mindfulness meditation to help people understand impermanence, another Buddhist teaching. The idea is to see your emotions and experiences—including anxiety or pain—as constantly changing, “like a weather system coming through,” Byrne says. Everything, eventually, ends.
Cecilia Saad found this to be an especially attractive element of Buddhism. A close friend of hers was diagnosed with cancer three years ago, and Saad was impressed by how calm she remained throughout her diagnosis and treatment. “We’ve talked a lot about her outlook, and she always goes back to her Buddhism,” she says. Now, when Saad is stressed about something, the concept of impermanence helps her to imagine that she’s already survived the event she’s dreading.
At my meditation class, the teacher read from her book in her even, perfectly unaccented voice. The book told us to consider that there are two reasons someone might cause us harm: It’s their nature to be harmful, or a temporary circumstance caused them to act in a harmful way. Either way, the teacher said, it doesn’t make sense to be angry at the person. The nature of water is wet, so you wouldn’t rage at the rain for getting you wet. And you wouldn’t curse the clouds for temporarily having a weather system that causes a downpour.
“When are we compelled to hurt people?” she asked, rhetorically. “When we’re in pain. It’s easy, if you see the fear, to have some compassion.”
She asked us to close our eyes and meditate again, this time while thinking about letting go of resentment toward someone who had harmed us. I shifted awkwardly and wondered how the burly guy sitting in front of me wearing a “Lift Life” t-shirt felt. I was having trouble focusing on resentment, and my eyes flickered open involuntarily. It was 30 degrees outside, yet most of the seats were taken. The fullness was uplifting. Still, it was remarkable that so many of us were willing to stumble through the freezing dark just to take in some basic wisdom about how to be less sad.
In Sunday school, when you opened your eyes during prayer, other kids would tell on you, thereby implicating themselves as having opened their eyes, too. That’s how people are sometimes, I thought: They’ll burn themselves for the chance to harm someone else. I took a deep breath and tried to have compassion for them anyway.
Article source here:The Atlantic
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Detox Centers In Ludington Michigan 49431
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An Interview with Thomas Zigal
Warning: This interview discusses the on-going reports of sexual abuse within the Catholic Church.
TCU Press: Aside from the near-constant news reports that we’re seeing, most people think of the film Spotlight in connection to the sex abuse scandal(s) within the Catholic Church. How would you describe your forthcoming book in relation to this film?
Thomas Zigal: Spotlight was focused on the journalists and the details of their investigation and discoveries. As viewers, we follow the reporters the way we followed Woodward and Bernstein when they were unraveling the mysteries of Watergate. The Spotlight investigators were laypersons outside the Catholic Church hierarchy, of course, trying to crack through the mighty fortress surrounding the archbishop and his clergymen in the Archdiocese of Boston. Outcry Witness takes a different approach. It’s an insider’s view of how a cover-up works, exploring what happens behind closed doors in the board room of a bishop’s chancery.
My novel begins with a fictional murder case set in New Orleans in the mid-1980s, in which steadfastly moral characters—an aging priest and his loyal nephew—find themselves being drawn into the Church’s efforts to hide the truth about a dead priest who is discovered to have been a child sex offender. In the world of my novel, this is the first case of its kind in the city, the first time that the bishop and his staff must face a scandal that could destroy the Church’s reputation. How they respond is emblematic of how every Church cover-up would work in the future. Hush money, nondisclosure agreements, reassigning priests to other parishes, etc.
Although Outcry Witness is a novel, I relied on many informative sources to construct my narrative, including books, articles, documentaries, blog entries, online sites for victims who tell their stories, and conversations with experts on the front lines of these headlining outrages. My novel has a solid foundation of fact, but it’s a story. I’m not a psychologist, sociologist, scholar, journalist, guidance counselor, or authority on pedophilia. A reviewer once called my novels “page turners with a conscience,” and that’s what I endeavored to do in writing Outcry Witness—to shed light on this horrendous epidemic of abuses that have gone largely unreported and unpunished for decades.
TCU: Would you mind sharing your own personal history with the Catholic Church?
TZ: I’ve earned my stripes to write about Catholic issues. For starters, I went to 14 years of Catholic schooling, including the first two years of college. The Catholic faith was central to my family and to the families of all the kids I attended school with. I was an altar boy when the Mass was in Latin, and like most Catholic boys of my generation—we grew up in the 1950s and 1960s —I gave serious consideration to joining the religious life. I have many Catholic friends, including several I’ve known since the first grade and still stay in touch with, and none of them have ever disclosed that they were abused. It’s likely that the abuses taking place back then were happening on a much smaller scale.
TCU: Your last novel, Many Rivers to Cross, takes place in New Orleans in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina. What made you decide to pursue this topic for your next book? How did you go about researching it?
TZ: Back in 1992, when I was living in New Orleans, a writer named Jason Berry published a book entitled Lead Us Not Into Temptation: Catholic Priests and the Sexual Abuse of Children. I had met Jason at a dinner party in the French Quarter and I knew who he was. His book was a superb investigation of a priest who’d been abusing boys in southwest Louisiana. It was possibly the first major exposé of clergy pedophilia, and it opened my eyes to a very dark corner of the Catholic Church.
Because of my Catholic background, I was profoundly disturbed that a priest was the focus of Jason’s criminal investigation. It was unthinkable to me that a man of the cloth had molested several children over a lengthy period of time. But the facts were irrefutable. And Jason reported that in the eight years prior to his book’s publication (1984-92), 400 priests had been accused of sexually abusing children across the United States. I couldn’t wrap my mind around that many pedophiles in the priesthood. I had been intensely involved in the Church throughout my childhood and teen years, and I was very fond of the nuns, priests, and brothers who’d taught me in school. In all those formative years, I had never encountered a pedophile.
Over the next 15 or 20 years after reading Jason’s book, I read as many newspaper and magazine articles about Catholic priests and the sexual abuse of children as I could find, making notes and conceiving the characters and plot of an emerging novel. I also talked to friends who’d become involved in supporting and counseling victims. Throughout the 1990s, the reported cases were growing in number and fitting familiar patterns.
I set the story in New Orleans because it’s a Catholic city and I knew it well. At some point around the year 2000, I began to write the book, then put it aside to write The White League, returned to Outcry Witness, and put it aside again to write Many Rivers to Cross. (Those are the first two books of my New Orleans trilogy.) It was an on-again off-again project, and I continued to learn more about the subject as new books and documentaries appeared.
TCU: Outcry Witness portrays the moral struggle between those who conceal these alarming crimes and those who resist a cover-up and strive to nurture and heal the victims.
TZ: There are two competing sides in the novel. One side is the bishop, his staff, his lawyers, and sympathetic law enforcement agents willing to help the Church hide a secret. The other side is a slowly awakening group that includes an aging priest whose faith is shaken but strong, a fervently Catholic married couple who focus on identifying and supporting the victims, and a New Orleans private investigator who talks like the musician Dr. John and provides the street smarts to find the boys who have been harmed. It’s not a dry treatise on morality, but a page-turning thriller about real flesh-and-blood individuals fighting for the soul of the faith they embrace.
TCU: After you completed the book, did you share the manuscript with any professionals who are familiar with these cases—therapists or psychiatric professionals—who could give you feedback or advice about the very sensitive subject of pedophilia?
TZ: I gave the manuscript to two friends my age who are former Christian Brothers (a teaching order) and who have counseled abuse victims and testified on their behalf at trials and depositions. They know that world extremely well. One of them had confronted the Church leadership in his diocese, exposing an abusive priest, and he eventually took his fight to the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops. Both readers gave me detailed and invaluable feedback, and they both admire the book and said I got it right. I have their blessing.
TCU: Why should book lovers read this novel?
TZ: Concerned readers have been following headline stories about abusive clergymen for more than a decade, and the stories won’t go away. Every day there’s another revelation about the Church hierarchy covering up pedophilia in this parish and that parish. One thousand victims in the state of Pennsylvania alone. The pope and various bishops and cardinals are pointing fingers and assigning blame. If a reader wants to know how these crimes have been covered up for so long without coming to light, Outcry Witness will provide a compelling scenario. This is how it was done from the beginning—from the very first case to reach a bishop’s desk. The good news is, there are courageous men and women of faith who continue to demand justice and accountability. Many of them were victims themselves. This is their story.
Thomas Zigal is the author of seven novels and numerous short stories and essays. His novels have won the Jesse H. Jones Award for Best Work of Fiction from the Texas Institute of Letters, the fiction award from the Philosophical Society of Texas, and the Violet Crown Award from the Writers’ League of Texas. Outcry Witness is the final novel in his New Orleans trilogy, which includes the award-winning Many Rivers to Cross (TCU Press, 2013). He lives in Austin, Texas. Outcry Witness will be released in February 2019.
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Undocumented kids in custody at the border think they’re getting help when they talk with a social worker or clinical psychologist, but what they say is often used to keep them in detention longer or even deport them, lawyers who work with these children say.
“They’ll encourage the kids to open up and disclose, but those notes are not protected by HIPAA or privacy law,” said Nithya Nathan, an attorney and senior program director for the Detained Children’s Program. “It’s our experience [kids] have a really limited understanding of where that information goes and how it can be used.”
Doctors and social workers have long provided care to undocumented kids held by the Office of Refugee Resettlement (ORR), the agency responsible for resettling minors who cross the border, including those seeking asylum. The appointments appear to be just like any other between a medical provider and a patient, but under the Trump administration, the US Department of Homeland Security is increasingly relying on medical and psychological records from these meetings to make decisions about the fate of these kids, numerous immigration lawyers who represent undocumented children told Vox.
Immigration lawyers said files containing confidential medical and psychological records and social work case files from ORR (an office overseen by the US Department of Health and Human Services) are increasingly showing up in immigration court as evidence.
Often, these files are used by the Trump administration as an argument to push undocumented kids, especially teens with psychiatric conditions, into higher levels of detention in what lawyers described as “jail-like” settings.
Central American asylum seekers wait as US Border Patrol agents take them into custody on June 12, 2018 near McAllen, Texas. US border authorities are executing the Trump administration’s “zero-tolerance” policy toward undocumented immigrants. Getty Images
Immigration lawyers also told Vox that children are sometimes deported back to their home countries on the basis of this information.
Lawyers say kids’ confidential information was also shared between agencies under the Obama administration. But under Trump, the policy is increasingly used to detain or deport undocumented minors.
The function of ORR is to temporarily house undocumented children before they are reunited with a parent, family member, or other appropriate sponsor. But that’s becoming more difficult after an April memorandum of understanding between ORR and the Department of Homeland Security [DHS], which allows for more information sharing about adult sponsors.
Parents and relatives are increasingly afraid to come forward to claim the kids, because they could risk deportation if they are undocumented. Those two things working together keep detained kids separated from parents and family members for weeks, months, or even years longer than they might have otherwise.
“They are being held in what is effectively indefinite detention,” said Lewis Cohen, senior director of communications for the National Center for Youth Law. “They’re basically trying to make it impossible for sponsors to come forward, which is why I say this is becoming indefinite detention.”
An HHS spokesperson did not respond to a request for comment.
Multiple immigration lawyers Vox interviewed say the Trump administration’s use of confidential records to detain kids longer violates medical ethics and the kids’ basic rights to have their medical and psychological records kept confidential and out of the hands of law enforcement.
But the exact law on this issue is murky. Lawyers say the kids should have a right to privacy under the medical privacy law, HIPAA, but that is still an unsettled legal question for undocumented minors. HIPAA is a broad federal law, but it can be superseded by different state laws. Also, minors cannot legally exercise their HIPAA rights without the signature of a parent or guardian, which makes it difficult if a child’s parent or guardian is also detained or can’t claim sponsorship for fear of deportation.
HIPAA protections also depend on the individual circumstances of each child; for instance, medical providers, social workers, or psychologists are required to disclose information if a minor reveals they’re being sexually abused or having suicidal thoughts.
However, multiple medical and legal experts who spoke to Vox said there are serious ethical concerns with confidential medical information being used by the government to prejudice the case of an undocumented minor in court.
“There are some concerns about HIPAA and whether it protects people who have status,” said attorney Holly Cooper, the co-director of the Immigration Law Clinic at the University of California Davis School of Law who represents detained minors in California.
Central American asylum seekers wait as US Border Patrol agents take groups of them into custody on June 12, 2018, near McAllen, Texas. John Moore/Getty Images
When kids arrive at ORR processing facilities, they are interviewed by a series of people, including social workers and clinical psychologists. Children are asked about the circumstances around why they’re fleeing their home countries, whether they are experiencing psychosis, are depressed, have ever had suicidal ideations, or used drugs.
Many of these children come from Central American countries wracked by gang violence and are dealing with post-traumatic stress disorder and other mental issues. Attorneys say the stress is worsened when they are removed from their families and placed in ORR custody.
“The more traumatized you are, the more emotional outbursts, the longer you’re going to be detained,” Cooper said. “We’re seeing more and more kids detained longer. The level of desperation is something you can’t even imagine.”
The practice of sharing information with other agencies isn’t new — it also happened under the Obama administration. The difference, legal experts say, is that the Trump administration is being far more aggressive, effectively using kids’ own medical records against them.
“It’s pretty clear to me that ICE [Immigration and Customs Enforcement] and USCIS [United States Citizenship and Immigration Services] can access ORR files,” Cooper said, adding that it’s “anything you can say to a doctor you don’t want brought up in a court of law, which is a lot.”
The law may not be clear on whether ORR is allowed to share confidential social worker or psychologist records with DHS, but one medical expert Vox spoke to said the medical ethics surrounding the practice are certainly questionable.
“There is privileged communication between a health care provider and a client,” said Erica Monasterio, a clinical professor of nursing at the University of California San Francisco. “When you breach confidentiality outside of those situations, you’ve clearly communicated to the patient, you’ve really breached trust. And health care relationships are really based on trust.”
Monasterio says that in her job as a medical professional, she has never seen any law that says an immigrant’s legal status has any impact on their right to medical confidentiality.
“Sometimes (providers) don’t well understand their responsibilities,” she said. “That doesn’t make it right, and it doesn’t make it ethical, and it seems to me to be a flagrant breach of confidentiality.”
ORR is the government agency that’s responsible for caring for undocumented children who cross the border, but it’s only supposed to keep children in its custody for a short period of time — until they are released into the care of a sponsor.
Usually, sponsors are either a parent or a family member already in the United States. A recent report from the US Government Accountability Office estimated that from January 2014 to April 2015, 60 percent of sponsors were parents, 32 percent were other family members, and another 8 percent were family friends.
It is perfectly legal for an undocumented sponsor to come forward and claim responsibility of a child. But the Trump administration is trying to make that much harder, by arguing that ICE should conduct background checks of sponsors to make sure they have enough money to care for the children and are not violent or gang members.
The April memorandum of understanding between HHS and DHS raised alarms from the American Civil Liberties Union, immigration attorneys, and immigrant rights groups, who argued it would make it much more difficult for sponsors to come forward.
US Border Patrol agents take Central American asylum seekers into custody on June 12, 2018, near McAllen, Texas. The family could face separation after being processed by the US Customs and Border Protection (CBP). John Moore/Getty Images
This point was also raised during an April hearing of the Senate Permanent Subcommittee on Investigations of the Senate Committee on Homeland Security and Governmental Affairs, during which numerous witnesses said that ICE conducting background checks could lead to children being held a lot longer in detention.
“I believe this memorandum of understanding, or at least this piece of it would lead to a prolonged separation of children and their parents and sponsors, and a prolonged detention of UAC’s [unaccompanied alien children] in government custody,” testified Allison Herre, immigration legal services director for Catholic Charities Southwestern Ohio.
The law also says undocumented children are not supposed to languish in government detention facilities for months or years on end, but lawyers say the Trump administration’s use of confidential records to keep children detained, combined with fewer sponsors coming forward, is having that effect.
Undocumented children have legal protection from a 1997 agreement called the Flores settlement, which says the government must release kids from detention as quickly as possible, whether that is to parents, adult relatives, or licensed programs. If they can’t, the government is still obligated to keep kids in the “least restrictive,” age-appropriate setting possible.
“Every child who is in immigration custody is covered by this settlement,” Cohen said.
Most of the places where children are kept are shelters or federally run foster homes with low levels of security. These include Casa Padre, the former Walmart Super Center in Brownsville, Texas, that has been in the news a lot in the past few weeks. McClatchy also reported that HHS is looking to construct “tent cities” in Texas to house the influx of children in detention.
A Department of Health and Human Services handout image inside Casa Padre, the largest government-contracted migrant youth shelter, located in Brownsville, Texas. Administration for Children and Families at the US Department of Health and Human Services
There are about 11,000 minors in US government custody, but more are being added every day. Nearly 2,000 children have been separated from their families at the southern border from April 19 through May 31 alone — just a six-week period — according to the Trump administration.
In addition to the shelters, there are three secure facilities around the country where ORR places minors it deems to need a higher level of supervision. Two of these, Shenandoah Valley Juvenile Center, and Northern Virginia Juvenile Detention Center, are located in Virginia. The third is the Yolo County Juvenile Detention Facility in California.
“It is a jail-like setting,” said Nathan, who represents clients housed in the two Virginia facilities. “ORR might call them shelters, but secure detention within ORR is a domestic juvenile detention center. There are cinder blocks, the cells have a stainless steel toilet, there’s no privacy. The setting is very, very child unfriendly.”
A Department of Health and Human Services handout image inside Casa Padre, the largest government-contracted migrant youth shelter, located in Brownsville, Texas. Administration for Children and Families at the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services
The average length of stay in ORR shelter and transitional foster care facilities was 41 days, but that figure doesn’t include those kids held in secure facilities like Shenandoah and Yolo. Attorneys say it’s further evidence that ORR — which is supposed to provide humanitarian assistance to undocumented kids — is becoming an arm of law enforcement under the Trump administration.
“The kids we work with are really smart and perceptive,” Nathan said. “They understand the whole system that’s designed to provide humanitarian assistance is under attack.”
Original Source -> Kids who cross the border meet with therapists and social workers. What they say can be used against them.
via The Conservative Brief
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Gaughan Psychological Services
As a psychologist and specialist in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), I help people who feel trapped by anxiety and depression find emotional freedom and mental peace so they can recapture joy in their life. I’ll accompany you as you build emotional resilience and journey toward relief that lasts.
Address: 4400 College Blvd, Suite 190, Overland Park, KS 66211, USA Phone: 913-562-9588 Website: http://kcpsychologist.com
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Gaughan Psychological Services
As a psychologist and specialist in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), I help people who feel trapped by anxiety and depression find emotional freedom and mental peace so they can recapture joy in their life. I’ll accompany you as you build emotional resilience and journey toward relief that lasts.
Address: 4400 College Blvd, Suite 190, Overland Park, KS 66211, USA Phone: 913-562-9588 Website: http://kcpsychologist.com
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Photo
Gaughan Psychological Services
As a psychologist and specialist in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), I help people who feel trapped by anxiety and depression find emotional freedom and mental peace so they can recapture joy in their life. I’ll accompany you as you build emotional resilience and journey toward relief that lasts.
Address: 4400 College Blvd, Suite 190, Overland Park, KS 66211, USA Phone: 913-562-9588 Website: http://kcpsychologist.com
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0 notes
Photo
Gaughan Psychological Services
As a psychologist and specialist in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), I help people who feel trapped by anxiety and depression find emotional freedom and mental peace so they can recapture joy in their life. I’ll accompany you as you build emotional resilience and journey toward relief that lasts.
Address: 4400 College Blvd, Suite 190, Overland Park, KS 66211, USA Phone: 913-562-9588 Website: http://kcpsychologist.com
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Photo
Gaughan Psychological Services
As a psychologist and specialist in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), I help people who feel trapped by anxiety and depression find emotional freedom and mental peace so they can recapture joy in their life. I’ll accompany you as you build emotional resilience and journey toward relief that lasts.
Address: 4400 College Blvd, Suite 190, Overland Park, KS 66211, USA Phone: 913-562-9588 Website: http://kcpsychologist.com
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