#CarloGiuffre

[adamwatchesmovies]

Pinocchio (2002)

Ill-conceived from beginning to end, 2002's Pinocchio unleashes a storm of questions while lying on the ground, whimpering and struggling to survive. Who thought this was a good idea, and what kind of sales pitch did they have? It should've been as obvious as the sun in the sky that this adaptation of Carlo Collodi's novel was not going to work.

Out of a wooden log, Old Gepetto (Carlo Giuffrè) carves a puppet that springs to life thanks to the magic of the Blue Fairy (Nicoletta Braschi). Wandering around town, "Pinocchio" (Roberto Benigni) means well but can’t help but be led astray. Only by learning to be good can Pinocchio become a real boy.

Going in, all I knew about Roberto Benigni's Pinocchio was that it was reviled and that the director played the puppet. Who thought this was a good idea? I don’t know. A 50-year old playing a wooden puppet that wants to become a real boy? It sounds like a gag-within-a-gag on a TV show that can only afford 4 cast members. Here’s something to blow your mind even further. Pinocchio’s not even a puppet. The film insists he is. Over and over his wooden construction is brought to our attention, but you couldn’t tell. They couldn’t even be bothered to put makeup on Benigni!

Forget Pinocchio’s Revenge. If you want a creepy film about a puppet coming to life, you watch this. Everyone knows that Pinocchio’s nose grows when lies. Can you imagine a 50-year-old with an elongated flesh wand protruding from his face? This sickening thought is a trivial detail compared to the innumerable sins this picture commits. Not only is Pinocchio played by a full-grown man; every child is. It’s like a trip to a mental asylum, a glimpse into a world where adults purposefully stunt their growth or a re-enactment of a crime that includes innocent souls trapped into a basement dungeon.

I don’t want to give this film zero stars. You could argue that it looks good, that it offers a couple of funny moments but giving Pinocchio a drop from the bottle of compliments makes me want to throw up. There’s a giant that comes out of nowhere, the special effects are bad, the voice acting (originally the film was in Italian so I saw the dub) is wooden, and it can’t even wrap its mind around its central concept properly. Pinocchio encounters a puppet show, and the other marionettes can speak too! If he looks human and talking isn’t a skill that’s unique to magical puppets, what in the inferno is going on?

This is Benigni's ultimate vanity project. That’s why he chose himself as Pinocchio even though no casting director in the world would've given him an audition. That’s why there are so many strange would-be whimsical decisions throughout. This man decided he was the one that would do this fairytale right - something no one else, not even the author - had previously managed. It's why the iconic whale has been changed into a shark and the message about lying being wrong has been omitted.

I'm embarrassed to admit I saw Pinocchio. Even if you’re morbidly curious, it’s agonizing to watch.  It's like witnessing your kid make a college graduation speech about the Earth being flat. You'd rather spontaneously combust than see it all the way through. It feels like an eternity, an increasingly unbearable experience that will have you begging for death. It’s the worst film I’ve seen in a long time. (English Dub on DVD, February 5, 2016)

[giallofever2]

1973 International Posters “Bella, ricca, lieve difetto fisico, cerca anima gemella” Also Known As (AKA) Argentina Bela ricca leve Defecto Fisico Busca Alma Gemela Brazil Bela, Rica, Leve Defeito Físico, Procura Alma Gêmea Portugal Bela, rica, com pequeno defeito físico, aceita cavalheiro Hungary Szép gazdag nő kis testi hibával férjet keres Release Dates Italy 8 February 1973 Directed by Nando Cicero Music by Carlo Rustichelli Writing Credits Nando Cicero ... (story and screenplay) Sandro Continenza ... (screenplay) Gian Carlo Fusco ... (additional material) Technical specifications Runtime 1 hr 31 min (91 min) Film Length 2.670 m filming locations Incir De Paolis Studios, Rome, Lazio, Italy Cast Carlo Giuffré Carlo Giuffrè ... Michele Fiore Marisa Mell Marisa Mell... Paola Erika Blanc Erika Blanc ... Rosaria Fiore Elena Fiore Elena Fiore ... Vedova Teresa Pescosolido (La Figlia della Lupa) Gina Rovere Gina Rovere ... Francesca Amatucci, 'Sora Checca' Macellaia Nino Terzo Nino Terzo ... Teresa's Servant Maria Cumani Quasimodo Maria Cumani Quasimodo Renato Pinciroli Renato Pinciroli ... Signor Fiore Renato MalavasiRenato Malavasi ... Parmesan Rita Di Lernia Rita Di Lernia ... Head of Feminists Barbara Herrera Barbara Herrera ... Feminist Alfonso Tomas Alfonso Tomas ... Commissar Adriana Facchetti Adriana Facchetti ... Mother Superior Winni Riva Winni Riva ... Nun Veronica Gardiner Veronica Gardiner Franca Scagnetti Franca Scagnetti ... Nun Gino Pagnani Gino Pagnani ... Doctor Michele Cimarosa Michele Cimarosa ... Husband of fat woman Consalvo Dell'Arti Consalvo Dell'Arti ... Older Rich Man Giacomo Rizzo Giacomo Rizzo #bellariccalievedifettofisicocercaanimagemella #bellaricca #elenafiore #carlogiuffrè #carlogiuffre #carlogiuffré #marisamell #ericablanc #nandocicero #italiancultmovie #italianmovie #italiancomedy #italiancultcomedy #italiancultcomedymovie #cinecult #cinemaitaliano #commediaitaliana #commediaallitaliana (presso Studi Cinematografici De Paolis)

[giallofever2]

1973 International Posters “Bella, ricca, lieve difetto fisico, cerca anima gemella” Also Known As (AKA) Argentina Bela ricca leve Defecto Fisico Busca Alma Gemela Brazil Bela, Rica, Leve Defeito Físico, Procura Alma Gêmea Portugal Bela, rica, com pequeno defeito físico, aceita cavalheiro Hungary Szép gazdag nő kis testi hibával férjet keres Release Dates Italy 8 February 1973 Directed by Nando Cicero Music by Carlo Rustichelli Writing Credits Nando Cicero ... (story and screenplay) Sandro Continenza ... (screenplay) Gian Carlo Fusco ... (additional material) Technical specifications Runtime 1 hr 31 min (91 min) Film Length 2.670 m filming locations Incir De Paolis Studios, Rome, Lazio, Italy Rome, Lazio, Italy Cast Carlo Giuffré Carlo Giuffrè ... Michele Fiore Marisa Mell Marisa Mell... Paola Erika Blanc Erika Blanc ... Rosaria Fiore Elena Fiore Elena Fiore ... Vedova Teresa Pescosolido (La Figlia della Lupa) Gina Rovere Gina Rovere ... Francesca Amatucci, 'Sora Checca' Macellaia Nino Terzo Nino Terzo ... Teresa's Servant Maria Cumani Quasimodo Maria Cumani Quasimodo Renato Pinciroli Renato Pinciroli ... Signor Fiore Renato MalavasiRenato Malavasi ... Parmesan Rita Di Lernia Rita Di Lernia ... Head of Feminists Barbara Herrera Barbara Herrera ... Feminist Alfonso Tomas Alfonso Tomas ... Commissar Adriana Facchetti Adriana Facchetti ... Mother Superior Winni Riva Winni Riva ... Nun Veronica Gardiner Veronica Gardiner Franca Scagnetti Franca Scagnetti ... Nun Gino Pagnani Gino Pagnani ... Doctor Michele Cimarosa Michele Cimarosa ... Husband of fat woman Consalvo Dell'Arti Consalvo Dell'Arti ... Older Rich Man Giacomo Rizzo Giacomo Rizzo #bellariccalievedifettofisicocercaanimagemella #bellaricca #elenafiore #carlogiuffrè #carlogiuffre #carlogiuffré #marisamell #ericablanc #nandocicero #italiancultmovie #italianmovie #italiancomedy #italiancultcomedy #italiancultcomedymovie #cinecult #cinemaitaliano #commediaitaliana #commediaallitaliana (presso Studi Cinematografici De Paolis)