#Can you tell I only made it through the exposition? 'Cause I definitely can.

[cedarbookhs]

I don’t think it was that specific - The Famous Five dates back to the early 1940s, and from what I can overhear in libraries, kids are STILL going bonkers for series like Wings of Fire. Mary Pope Osborne is still publishing Magic Tree House books and my seven-year-old niece is way into them. I think what you’re describing is just different reading levels, early grade vs middle grade, and the transition that millennials made from 90s EG to 00s MG. Since early grade books are shorter, to keep younger readers’ attention spans, they’re a lot more serialized, cause it takes more of them to fill the same hours of reading. It’s also not like there weren’t longer kids’ books in the 90s. Yes things tended more to the literary/historical/slice of life genres back then, but before Philosopher’s Stone (97) you still had things like The Golden Compass (95) and The Giver (93). The success of HP definitely did make publishers home in more on that longer, older market though, no question.

One of the big differences between series before and after The Pottering is interdependence. You can read a random A-Z Mystery and be fine, storylinewise. They don’t depend on sequence. Part of that is down to the shift in popular genres I think. It’s hard to write a very short fantasy book, and tedious to have to reintroduce your world every book if you have a bunch of short ones. It was done – Magic Tree House is technically fantasy, with its Arthurian magical roots, and those roots only got more prevalent in the (you may notice longer) Merlin Mission stories of the 2000s compared to the original run that ended (before being revived later) with High Tide in Hawaii. But the exposition is light there: the thing travels through time because Morgana Did It. I think Mary Pope Osborne was actually a bit ahead of the curve there, with the four-book arcs that add a certain reward to reading in order, but don’t strictly require it. Magic Tree House is a masterpiece of formula. We all know that.

And then there’s The Secrets of Droon. Oh, Droon, you wonderful, possibly mishandled anomaly. A full on high portal fantasy plot that, had it started publishing just a few years later than 1999, probably would have been a five-to-ten longer-book epic series, but because it was the 90s still, it ended up as 44(!) little novellas that SEEM like Magic Tree House stand-alone morsels, but God help you if you don’t know that Sparr awakened Ko in book 22 and was turned into a baby, but only until 28, and that Eric is stabbed by an ice dagger and turns evil in 33, and, and I didn’t read them in order so I was lost on the overarching plot until I read it on Wikipedia just now. I could tell as a kid that if I did them in order it would be cool, but tracking down dozens of little books is, uh, hard.

There’s got to be a term to describe that like. Extremely specific era of children’s literature where all the books were novellas printed on low quality paper, pumped out on a near monthly basis, and made for series that sometimes stretched into hundreds of books

Animorphs. Goosebumps. Bailey School Kids. Babysitter’s Club. Magic Treehouse. Series that plague public libraries and second hand book stores to this day. A genre that was nearly wiped out overnight by the success of Harry Potter, and the newfound desire for kids to read long form literature

It was like pulp fiction for kids

[starshipsofstarlord]

In retrospect, bend over spy - Natasha Romanoff x reader

Masterlist Link

Summary; Natasha is on a mission, however she certainly gets more than she bargained for whilst undercover

Warnings; smut, gxg, rimming, fingering, strap on sex

The redhead slipped out of her panties, dropping the black lace to the ground, as she kicked the well loved material, that was inked with her wetness, from around her ankles. She bunched the material of her dress up she bent her bosom over your desk, slotting her legs open as she grew eager as she heard your approaching footsteps.

Your fingers plucked at her round and full cheeks, spreading them apart so you could gouge a explicit view of her quivering cunt, and the tight ring of her asshole. It’s spiral of tight skin clenched as she felt your penetrating gaze upon the close knitted ring of muscle. Allowing some spit to douse your finger, you rubbed it against her back entrance, stringing a web of a moan from her engorged and swollen mouth.

She was inadvertently biting her lips, gnawing upon her flesh and sufficiently plumping it, as she awaited for you to do something more. The assassin wiggled her ass back, as she felt you drop to your knees, feeling the curl of your tongue prodding at her rim. “Fuck, y/n.”

You moaned as you peeled the straps of your cami top down, shoving the material down to below your breasts as you pinched at your own nipples, tugging out some relief for yourself, as your tongue firmly pressed through the conviction of tight entryway, as your free hand that was failing to milk your breast slithered up to her pussy.

The fingers on your right hand spread her affiliated juices around, as you delved your nose against her crack, pushing your wet and smooth appendage further into her hole, drawing positive sounds of encouragement to continue your administrations out of her lying, scoundrel, avenger lips.

To frustrated her, you pulled back, instigating a whine from her, as you wore a dirty and privileged smirk. You stood, disappointing her, though she remained in her poised position, watching with wild forest eyes as you rounded the dismissal of your reviewing centre, coming to face her, and blessing her with the sight of your nude and stiff pebbled breasts.

“How’d you know my real name, Natalia?” Shit, she was exposed, in more ways than one. She readied to retaliate in her sultry craft of exposition, however, she stilled as you waved your hand in dismissal of her actions. “Come on tell me, and perhaps I’ll let our fun continue, may even tell you whatever you want to know, Black Widow.”

It seemed like a fair trade, for a moment in thought Natasha pursed her lips together, cocking her flushed head as she ran over her options. This was the easiest way to access an answer, and well, if you were to double cross her, then it’d be no hassle to take you out.

“You have hydra files that you recovered from a base, Coulson has been tracking you for some time. He noticed that your company provided export and import, and wanted to ensure that you weren’t spreading the word on the intel that you recovered.”

“Hm.” Crossing your arms over your free breasts, you paid her a due smile, amused by the information that she had been told. “Open the drawer to the right, Romanova, the flash drive is in there.”

Her hands obeyed your suggestion, slipping inside the storage, retaining a red keeper of files from within. Natalia held it to her face, speculating its exterior, seeing the infamous skull symbol that prompted all content the organisation stamped their works with.

“I used to be like you you know, a heroin, though I found it to be a means to an end. There is so much to sacrifice, and in the end, all you have to give is yourself. Over time, I’ve figured it’s better to be alive than dead, there is no use in instigating the title of superhero if one day you are to lose.”

“You mentioned fun after I recovered this from you, this conversation you are elaborating on hardly seems like the type.” The redhead spy spat with a quirk of her scarlet brow, as she peeled the fabric of her midnight dress up and over her head.

“Guess shield agents don’t like speaking about their travels, they used to have no mind back in my day.” Well, that supposed that you had been a traitor, having the folder of files in your possession. “I guess you don’t either considering who you have been.”

“I’m not here to trade pity tales, if you wish to enjoy our last moments together, I suggest you take those slacks off from your legs, and show me how you can possibly make my remaining presence here worthwhile.”

“Oh honey, it’s definitely going to be worth the wait.” You replied, harshly tugging at your belt, as you unravelled the Italian leather from around your waist, unzipping your trousers as they fell down, and to the ground in a figure right around your feet. “Like what you see?”

There was certainly something to see. A harness enveloped your waist, a faux appendage in the shade of lilac hanging from the centre, taunting her with surprise. It wasn’t what she had been expecting, not in the slightest.

“It’s okay.” She shrugged, no longer having to keep up the facade of an interested intern, though her pupils told a different story as they gazed lustfully at the strap. “Guess it’ll do.”

“It will do something widow, and I can prove that.” The two of you both nude, except from the attachment that’s prime purpose was instigate internal pleasure, walked towards each other, you noticed her leave the drive on the desk, but you didn’t allow her to witness your lingering view.

Instead, you ambushed her against the hardwood platform of your desk, teeth biting their way into her mouth, gaining access to slip your sly tongue within the contents of oral communication. A hum escorted out from her lungs, as her hands dug their manicured nails into your shoulders, scratching red lines into the skin, as she awaited for you to enter her.

“Prove it then.”

Well, that predicament was easy, as you bent her to your will, and arched her back against your work desk, sifting the items in the way onto the floor. “I’m glad you said that Natalia.” Her statement only gave you a rush to do exactly as she said, boy was she going to regret letting that mouth of hers run confidently against you.

Her legs spread, allowing you to stand between them, as you ran your fingertips over their tops, your teeth stretching forwards and nipping at her lip. With her hips, she shuffled, rubbing her sodden folds against the toy, she was desperate. The exterior that she portrayed, the cocky one that was here for a mission and nothing more, had been swept away as she urgently wrapped her legs around you, sending you closer to her.

“I knew you weren’t as blunt with your emotions as you are with your words.” You grabbed the base of the toy that was attached to your harness, dragging the tip of the plastic through her slit, as you readily entered her. Once you were situated completely within her, your hands changed position to be on the table, as she adjusted, your hand slid to the drive, flicking it onto the ground by your chair, changing it out for one that was beneath the mouse pad.

She was oblivious to the settlement of underlying mischief prominent in your actions, instead of focusing on your seclusive intentions, she was perused by the seducing revels that you wantonly deposited upon her, as your hips ground ceremoniously against her own, leaving a trail of erotic pecks up the expanse of her neck, as your other hand opposed a grip around the strap.

It felt like power embedded in your hand, as you provided it stability against gravity as you teased her folds with the ludicrous tip, entering the length within her walls as she cowered a mewl at the sensation of penetration, as you nipped down at her pulse point, sliding your competent fingers down to fiddle with her satirised clit, moving it around like a paddle in water. Once she was adjusted to the size of the toy, you began to retract it, only to thrust back into her.

Her head whipped back, exposing her clavicle which you eagerly traced with your tongue. With one moderately ravenous hand, you groped her breast, it filling your palm as you prowled deeper inside her, tracing your hips back and forth to create a sustainable rhythm. A glow brew upon her skin, defining her collarbones with a powerful sheen that gripped her pores wonderfully. Moans rattled huskily out from her throat as she received, as she bent her shape against yours, optimally accepting the rounds of stimulation that you adorned upon her body.

“I’m gonna cum y/n.” Her nose crinkled as she made her statement, and thus, you made your administrations that much more fast, belting into her to appease her a gyration that brought her closer to her orgasm. The last method that had her half screeching through her retrospective high, was a bittersweet pinch to her clit, that had her hurtling over the edge. You continued to move for a few moments, until it became too much for the spy.

As she caught her breath, you gently stroked her nipples, causing her to heave heavier. “Shame you were only here on a mission, that means I have no chance of convincing you to go out on a date with me.” Pulling the fake cock out of her cunt, watching as she whimpered from the notion. She grabbed for her items of clothing, slathering them back into appropriate placement upon her body.

“I don’t do dates.” She thickly stated, making you hum in acknowledgement, Natalia tried to soothe her hair with her hands until it looked presentable enough, going to turn, until you caught her arm, preventing her from doing so. You picked up the hard drive off from the desk, and simply handed it to her. “It was nice meeting you, you definitely made my breach here... interesting.”

“I aim to please.” You brashly shrugged, accepting her grateful smile as you watched the deceived and overplayed spy walk out of the door to your office. You threw your shirt over yourself, removing the harness that hugged your hips, and rolled your panties up your legs. You bent to the ground, retrieving the true aspect of your game. “Well, I guess you can’t have it all.” The real flash drive was pinched between your forefinger and your thumb as you blinked towards it.

You had managed to deceive an avenger, yet the whole cover would only be viable to hold up for so long. Your entire operation would have to move elsewhere if you were to have to avoid that fine fox and her friends. Paging your assistant, you filled her in on the business cards that were currently laid out before yourself.

[egcdeath]

strangers again

summary: “hiiii sweetie!! can i request a steve x reader where he left yn for peggy. but he always felt guilty and missed yn. he would always stare at her pic. when he came back he bumped into yn while she was dropping a kid to daycare. and steve realized it was his son. kinda sad but fluff at the end pls!!!! and oh i super love your works!!! tysm 🌼🥺💕”

pairing: steve rogers x reader

warnings: decent angst, brief mention of a depressive episode, abandonment, somewhat unrealistic behavior

word count: 3.8k

author’s note:  i really hope that this lives up to your expectations but it is a little cheesy. i’d also like to warn that i have not interacted with a child in several years, so.. sorry. (there’s also a lot of exposition so double sorry if that’s not your thing!)

You’d never forget the moment Steve left to return the stones, with the promise to be back in only a matter of moments.

Maybe your definition of a matter of moments was different from his.

You seemed to be the only one without a clue of what Steve truly planned to do, with Bucky only telling you after the matter that Steve was leaving for the past and for Peggy, and probably not coming back.

After finding out, something deep within you broke. You could barely leave your bed for days, you struggled to eat, sleep, even drink water. Every task that used to seem like muscle memory, began to feel like it carried the weight of the world behind it. Every hobby that you once enjoyed becoming empty and bleak.

You constantly felt inadequate. How could you love someone so much, and be told you were loved so much while always being second to someone else?

The simple sentiment of it had left you feeling miserable, and sick to your stomach. Literally. Nearly every morning, and occasionally if you smelled something too strong, you found the contents of your stomach emptied.

You attempted to ignore it at first. Meshed with every other unpleasant symptom you were going through, you’d figured that it was just one more bullet point on the list of things that had been plaguing you. But when your friends insisted that you go check up with your doctor, you had a hard time saying no.

Once you received the results from your blood test, you were completely taken aback by the fact that you were pregnant. You couldn't believe that you hadn’t considered the possibility of pregnancy earlier.

Yet,  after a long and hard period of pondering, you managed to surprise yourself once again after you realized you wanted to keep it.

After all, that could be the only piece of Steve you had left.

----

You began to tell yourself that Steve was dead. That was somehow less painful than the idea that he left you for someone that he barely knew, yet had fallen so hard for nearly 70 years ago. You refused to let yourself fall for anyone else romantically, now that you were aware that anyone had the capacity to leave you at any time, no matter how deep you perceived your relationship to be.

You guarded your heart, and made sure to only let in those that you knew you could trust for a fact. For the remainder of your pregnancy, only your closest family members and friends stood by your side.

About 8 months later, you brought a small, but healthy infant into the world. From that moment on, you promised yourself to become the best version of yourself that you could be. No dwelling on the past, and no yearning for what could’ve been. Your only duty now was to provide the best life possible for your offspring.

So you did.

----

You stood in the kitchen, peeling an orange for your son before he bounded into the room. You turned and gave him a big grin, and he grinned back to you.

“Did you get dressed all by yourself?” You asked him excitedly, receiving a nod in return before he ran up to your leg, and hugged it.

“I did, Mommy!” He looked up at you with his soulful eyes, and you couldn’t help but to feel bombarded with emotion.

Even at the tender age of five, Grant seemed to become a bit more like his father every day. The shape of his eyes, the slope of his nose, the sound of his giggle. To the average onlooker, he came across as the same as any other child, but to you, your son was the splitting image of Steve.

“Good work, little man. Now go sit at the table so mommy can finish breakfast, okay?” He didn’t even bother confirming with you before more or less sprinting to the table. You couldn’t help but to ask yourself if your son had obtained all of that energy and speed from his father as well.

Breakfast was over almost as soon as it started, and before you knew it, you were warming up your car after you’d assisted Grant with brushing his teeth.

You were in an oddly nostalgic mood that day, playing music from a time period before you’d even imagined bringing another life into the world. You glanced up at the rearview mirror and watched your son happily bop his head to the beat. You thought in passing about how much of a gift he truly was.

After arriving at his school, you hopped out of the car and over to the furthest seat in the back, where he’d insisted on sitting that day.

“You ready, big guy?” You questioned while reaching out to grab him from the car seat.

“Born ready,” he agreed. You chuckled and shook your head fondly at that while getting him out of the car.

“Who taught you that?”

Grant shrugged, “I came up with it myself.”

“I’m sure. Can you hold my hand while we’re out please?” You reached out for him, and he gladly obliged.

You soon became distracted by a large man across the street, his built figure and light blonde hair making you recall the father of your child. You gave Grant’s hand a light squeeze and continued to approach the door, not being able to help yourself, and glancing over at the man one last time.

Except this time was different. Your eyes locked with the blonde man outside of the coffee shop across the street unexpectedly. Where you once thought casually to yourself that it looked like Steve, you now had confirmation that it was in fact the man who you’d fallen in love with, and found yourself pregnant by.

You audibly gasped, receiving a bit of a questioning look from your child. Your heart dropped as a metric ton of emotions hit you all at once, anger, sadness, confusion. Everything you told yourself you needed to repress, had suddenly come back to you all at once.

Even from a distance, you swore you could see his eyes flit from you to Grant, and the next thing you knew, he was approaching your direction. Looking for an easy out, and a distraction from your rather observant child, you quickly caused a misdirection.

“Grant, is that Stacey over on the playground? You should totally go show her that new version of tag that you were telling me about!”

Your son, ever the speedster, booked it towards the playground, and you let out a sigh of relief. Although, the relief didn’t last long, as just moments later, Steve was almost all the way up to you. As you turned to try to escape, you felt a hand on your arm.

“Y/N?” He asked, almost timidly.

You weren’t even sure what to say. In fact, you didn’t feel like you had control of your own body at this point. “Steve? I-“ You ran a hand through your hair and bit the inside of your lip. “You need to go.” The pain that was rushing through you was too much for you to bare, especially considering the man who caused the hurt had suddenly decided to reappear in your life after giving you a world of self doubt and abandonment issues.

Steve seemed hurt by your statement, but you weren’t sure how much longer you could stand to even look at his face. “Please, Y/N, let me explain,” he begged.

“No, Steve. You don’t get that luxury. You left me for someone else, and I guess you got to live a nice, long life with her. You don’t get to just show back up in my life when you get bored, okay? I can’t afford to play those types of games anymore. Now if you’d let me go-“ You attempted to get to your car, but Steve side stepped you.

“It wasn’t like that. You know it isn’t like that.”

“Just fucking leave! You have no idea what this has all been like for me. You had your opportunity to leave, and you gladly took it. Stay the fuck out of my life, and the hell away from my son.” You grabbed the handle of your car door and got in, reeling as you watched a dejected Steve walk away.

Your heart pounded in your chest as you rested your head against the steering wheel. You were feeling way too many emotions to pinpoint exactly how you felt, but you knew that this couldn’t be good.

——

You put a brave face on for your son that day, picking him up from school in a daze, and only half listening to whatever it was that he was telling you.

You felt bad for only being able to nod along to whatever he was saying, and did he just ask you if he could get a dog? Did you just say yes?

You felt like a stranger watching yourself from the outside in. The ghost of the person you’d developed into over the years watching the past version of yourself slip right back into your body, and take over your daily routine through the next few days of your life.

You had an obscene amount of anger that soon dissolved into a deep sadness, and that sadness shorty developed into a morbid curiosity.

You spent an unreasonable, and certainly unhealthy amount of time searching your old lover’s name on tabloid websites and social media, just to see if he’d given a statement on his whereabouts, or a statement about anything at all.

After about day three of your minor internet stalking, you’d had an epiphany while sitting in your office.

You still have Steve’s number saved on your phone.

That was, of course, if it hadn’t changed between now and the years that he’d been off living in the past.

Something about knowing that you were just one text away from him made your heart race with a mixture of nerves and interest. Just one impulsive decision, and you could change the whole trajectory of the rest of your life.

If you got back in contact with Steve, you might not ever be willing to leave him. You refused to make that mistake again.

Until you did.

After reading Grant his nightly bedtime story, then wrapping him tightly in his little bed, you’d decided to treat yourself to a glass of Chardonnay.

It’d been a weird past couple of days. Your time traveling ex had randomly appeared back into your life, your coworkers seemed to get on your nerves a little more every moment you were around them, and Grant had a temper tantrum in the grocery store that afternoon over a chocolate bar, which gained judging stares from customers, and may have made you feel the slightest bit inadequate.

At least that’s what you told yourself as you filled your glass again, because two glasses can’t hurt, and again, since I kinda deserve this extra one, don’t I? The next thing you knew, the bottle was empty, and you were texting Steve for the first time in years.

Y: Is this Steve?

You watched as three white dots hovered on your screen for a moment, disappeared, then came back once again.

S: Is this Y/N?

Y: Yes.

Y: We should tlak

Y: *talk

S: I agree.

Y: So lets

Y: talk

S: I don’t think this is a conversation for texts.

Y: Then call me???????????????????

S: We should talk in person.

Y: Im not gonna do that sober

S: You’re not sober?

Y: do you think id text u sober u big fuckni asshole

S: I guess you’re right

S: So are we gonna talk?

Y: no ur gonna meet me at b cup cafe tomorrow at 10

S: AM or PM?

Y: AM I’m off

S: Are you sure you want to do this?

Y: Say yes before i change my mind

S: I’ll see you there

Y: Bye babydaddy

S: ????

You promptly deleted the messages, tossed your phone somewhere on the sofa, and sunk into the seat. Even in your not-completely-sober state, you already felt the all too familiar sense regret. You dragged the blanket that hung over the top of the sofa over your exhausted body, and closed your eyes, wishing that this was somehow all a dream.

----

It was not all just a dream.

You woke up with dried drool on your chin, and a deep pit of bad feelings and regret in your chest. Of course, you ignored the bad feelings and got ready, business as usual. You successfully dropped Grant off at school with little complications, and found yourself perking up a bit more.

Yet, something still felt slightly off. You reached into the passenger seat for your phone, and as you looked down on it, saw the familiar notification of a calendar event.  

10:00 AM b cup coff w Steeb

You groaned out loud at this. There was no obligation for you to go meet with him, but perhaps going and talking to Steve would bring you some sort of closure. Maybe then you could move on with your life, get with a nice guy who would mean it when he tells you he won't leave you, who loves Grant like he’s his own biological offspring, and to take care of the both of you through thick and thin.

You gladly daydreamed of this fantasy man while driving to the shop, but you couldn’t help but to see Steve’s face doing all of the aforementioned things. Before you even fell pregnant, that’s what you’d truly wanted with Steve. To be a family. To have your definition of home be with your people, rather than a place.

Entering the coffee shop, you briefly ordered your drink before looking around and find Steve sitting alone in a booth, mindlessly stirring around the liquid in his cup.

Timidly, you approached the booth, before setting your purse down and sitting across from him.

“You... you came?” He looked up to you with almost watery eyes.

“Of course I did,” you tried to hold yourself back from mentioning something about following through on your word. You wanted this to be as civil as possible. To build bridges rather than burn them.

“I just didn’t expect to see you in person again. And, you know, you were running a little late,” he added.

“Well, you try waking a five year old up and getting him ready for school every day,” you expelled a humorless chuckle to deflect from the slight agitation you were feeling.

“While you’re hungover?” Steve asked with a bit of a smirk, trying to lighten up the mood.

“While you’re hungover,” You confirmed, genuinely laughing now. It felt good, natural even. You’d kind of forgotten just how pleasant things used to be with Steve.

“Did you mean it last night?” he interrupted the laughter with a serious look.

“I honestly cannot remember anything I said last night. Elaborate, please?”

“That he’s mine. Your son.” He watched you silently nod, then began to speak again, “Wow, I just didn’t realize… How did that happen?” He looked down into his drink nervously.

“Well, it’s kind of hard to recall the exact details, but when a mommy and a daddy love each other very much...” You trailed off, and looked up as a barista called a butchered version of your name.

You were glad to have an excuse to get up and leave for a moment. Adrenaline was racing through your body, and you weren’t sure how much longer you could keep your composure before you erupted into tears, or had some sort of angry outburst.

Bringing your cup back to the booth, you sat down and took a sip of the scalding drink, “Where did we leave off?”

“I believe you were giving me the birds and the bees?”

“Right! Well, I think you know the rest. I’ll tell you more about Grant later. Right now, I want to know why you left and suddenly decided to come back.” You genuinely felt proud of your delivery. This was the moment you’d practiced in front of the mirror for years, and you didn’t even butcher it.

Steve shook his head and looked into his drink once again. It was so hard to look at you, let alone make eye contact with you, when he knew that he’d been the one to give you an ocean of grief. Yet, he was somewhat intrigued by hearing that his son’s name was his middle name.  

“It’s kind of a long story,” Steve began.

“Good thing we have time,” you crossed your arms as you spoke.

“Well, waking up in a whole new time period isn’t exactly the easiest thing ever. You and me both know I missed it there, and it’s always been more than just nostalgia for me. I truly believed that I belonged back there.”

Of course, you had an idea of this, but hearing Steve confirm what you’d already thought made your insides twist.

“But I was so wrong. More than anything, I guess I was in love with a romanticized version of the past. Of Peggy.”

Hearing her name, especially from Steve, made you bristle. You wanted to interrupt him at this point, but it wouldn’t do you or him any good to become hostile while he explained himself.

“By the time I realized, it was too late. I figured you’d already moved on and found someone else to take care of you, and the world, this world, didn’t really need me anymore. But something possessed me to come back.”

“So you’re telling me that if you stopped being an idiot that just assumes things, we could’ve worked this out before? That you could’ve been an active participant in your son’s life?”

“I guess that’s a good way to interpret that story. I know I haven’t been in his life, but is there any way that I can still meet him?” Steve asked hopefully.

“Yeah, of course. He’s just like,” you sighed a bit to yourself. “He’s like a carbon copy of you. Especially his personality, but like, down to his mannerisms. I always struggled to understand how he could be so much like his dad, and never even had met him. You’ll love him.”

“Even if I didn't like him, I’d still love him.”

“How do you still manage to be such a cheeseball all the damn time? You think you’d be able to make it to dinner tonight?”

----

At exactly 6:30 on the dot, your doorbell rang, and before you even had the chance to think about opening it, Grant already was at the door, and opening it. You cringed on the inside, and made a mental note to have another conversation about stranger danger with him.

“Do I know you? Who are you?” you heard your child question from the other room as you set down the last of the plates in your dining room.  

“I’m Steve, your mom’s friend... and…” Steve nearly spilled the beans to his son, but didn’t want to cause any more damage than he’d already done. “Her friend.”

“That’s so cool! I have friends too, like Nick, and Stacey, and,” you’d rushed up to the door and wiped your brow, internally hoping that you hadn’t just smudged the makeup you’d put on for the occasion.

“Hi, Steve, come on in,” You beckoned him in, and pulled Grant to the side, quietly scolding him before leading Steve into the dining room. “Grant! This is the last time I’m telling you about opening doors, okay?” He nodded obediently, then followed you and Steve.

“Can I sit next to your friend, Mommy?”

“Is that alright with you, Steve?”

“More than fine.”

Grant sat down next to him, and scooted a bit closer than necessary, while you sat across from the two of them.

“I have to in… enter a gate you now. Because Mommy never brings any over her friends over. I didn’t know she had any friends.”

You blushed a bit at this, at your son’s overdramatic behavior, and his admission that you’d become a bit of a loner.

“Go ahead, pal,” Steve chuckled heartily.

“When did you meet my mom?”

“Before you were even born.”

“Wow! That’s a long time. You’re really old. What’s your favorite dinosaur?”

“I’ve heard T-Rexes are pretty cool.”

“Have you met any?”

You nearly spat out your drink at this. If only your son had known.

“Nope, never. Have you?”

“Hmm, not yet. But they’re my favorite dino too. Now your ‘gating is over.”

You couldn’t help but to burst out into laughter at the bizarre exchange, but you were glad that your son and Steve were getting along so well.

The rest of dinner went pretty similarly, with Grant bantering with Steve, and Steve indulging him. You could tell that the relationship between the two of them was something that came both naturally and easily. You couldn’t help but to grin as Grant began to ramble about how cool Steve was, and how he swore he was better friends with Steve than you were.

“Mommy, isn’t Steve the best? You guys should totally get married so he can have dinner with us every day!” he swooned. “He even kinda looks like me, right?!”

That’s why you couldn’t help what came out of your mouth next.

“Grant, Steve is… He’s your dad,” you said quietly.

Grant nodded, then slurped up a noodle, “That’s why he’s so cool! He gets it from me, right Mom?”

“That sounds right to me,” You glanced up at Steve, and noticed his surprised expression. You mouthed something along the lines to ‘He’ll process it later,’ and waved a dismissive hand, before going in for another bite of food.

----

After putting Grant to bed, You and Steve stood at your kitchen sink, bumping elbows occasionally as the two of you silently worked together to wash and dry dishes.

The domesticity and familiarity of the action brought you an obscene amount of comfort. You remembered how you once believed that this is what your future would look like. Your thoughts were interrupted by Steve beginning to talk.

“Doesn’t this remind you of life after the first snap?” He asked, breaking the silence.

“Kind of. You’re not off the hook yet, by the way. You still have plenty of explaining and proving you’ve changed to do.” You set the last cup in the cupboard, then dried your hands off.

“I know, I know,” Steve began.

“We don’t even know if you’re ready for fatherhood. But right now, I kinda don’t care. I really just want you to kiss me.” You reached up to Steve’s cheek, and he pulled you in for a soft and chaste kiss.

You’d never felt more at home.

——

me with this fic:

[biblioflyer]

To quote a common post I see floating around these parts:

“I said I liked it. I didn’t say it was good.”

I like where the show’s heart is, but I agree that it has a very underdeveloped understanding of storytelling about war. It has noble ideals, but it can’t worldbuild in such a way to support those ideals without last minute, completely unearned contrivances. 

I keep asking myself if this is a fair comparison or not given the wildly different contexts: Discovery is a TV first product with many, many cooks in the kitchen, a last minute turnover in showrunners, and a long tail of preset expectations to try to carefully sort through and decide which to uphold and which to subvert. None of the writers had written for Trek or even a Trek adjacent show. But because they keep dabbling with the same themes, I can’t help but compare this era of Trek with The Expanse. The TV adaptation of the novels had to leave A LOT of really incredible world building on the floor, but what made it to screen still runs circles around Discovery if you’re trying to tell a story where both the materialist and ideological explanations for why people commit atrocities are both true at the same and feedback into each other. 

I have my suspicions as to where Abraham and Franck draw their inspiration from and if I’m right, they’re unique in their capacity to care about and credibly depict characters on all sides of some of the most polarizing, vicious, and entrenched conflicts of the modern era.

There may have been a way to tell this story where the Empress is a sort of Marco Inaros figure if you want to preserve the anti-war ethos of Trek, but also take seriously the idea that not everyone is going to feel good about taking a chance on picking the nicer squares in the Prisoner’s Dilemma grid. Especially if their lived history more or less screams that the other side is going to pick the nasty square.

In this case, trying to destroy Qonos would be something that makes sense given a very narrow and perhaps outrageously optimistic understanding of the situation, much like throwing multiple dino-killer asteroids at Earth was in the Expanse. Simultaneously stupid and with a high probability of causing mass death, maybe the end of all humanity at the end of the cycles of retribution that could have been kickstarted by bombing Earth. But also something that makes sense if you’re looking for a very definitive way to break the status quo irreversibly. Which again assumes that the Inners don’t just start slaughtering Belters wantonly in revenge or “something something 1% doctrine.” 

Which is kind of how I read the world the Discovery writers set up for us: there’s no reason not to assume that nuking Qonos doesn’t escalate the conflict to the point where not only is there no Federation, there’s nobody left alive in what used to be the Federation. That’s clearly not their intent, but the scenario they envisioned for how the war could end doesn’t make sense. 

Of course maybe it's not meant to make sense and no one thought to put words in any of the characters’ mouths to establish that Starfleet HQ and the Empress’ theory about how the war ends is not just immoral, it's illogical. The show has played with the idea that we shouldn’t assume the characters are always authoritative when they’re providing exposition, they may very well be deeply mistaken. But I don’t really believe that’s the case here.

If destroying Qonos is supposed to be decisive somehow, then they failed to make it make sense. I think they were maybe relying on a vague cultural understanding of Hiroshima and Nagasaki, but Japan didn’t have forces stationed in the suburbs of Washington DC who could retaliate in kind and with interest. I can contrive explanations for why destroying Qonos would be a net positive for the Federation, but it honestly feels like I would be putting way more thought into this scenario than the writers did.

The thing that frustrates me here is the same thing that frustrates me with Picard. They’re trying to tell classic Trek moral parables with classic Trek values but they keep screwing them up. They continually undermine their own themes. 

I have a vague sense that the writers are likely fans of Mandela, King, Gandhi etc. but don’t actually know enough about the contexts in which they were operating in to construct scenarios where righteous self sacrifice pays dividends. Heck, the one allusion they make to weaponizing self sacrifice to radically upend the status quo is T’Kuvma but his death is a pyrrhic victory for him. The Klingons unite. Kinda, sorta, but under the banner of his most hated enemy who doesn’t even buy into T’Kuvma’s ideology, and then when Kol buys the farm things go full Diadochi.

Discovery I feel like kind of wanted to pick up where DS9 left off and explore what happens to people who are products of the Federation culture in wartime but at the same time wanted to end on a reset where it was decency and abstaining from violence that was the key to saving the day, ala TNG. But it felt unearned and that I think comes from how catastrophically bad of a choice it was to evoke ISIL or Western neo-fascist gangs rather than lean into the medieval thinking and mores of the Klingons.

The writers painted themselves into a corner by making the Klingons cartoonishly evil while simultaneously needing them to not be completely irreconcilable with the Klingons of The Undiscovered Country or TNG. I do think this is the same corner I am concerned SNW is painting itself into with the Gorn, albeit with less need to make them sympathetic. 

Yet I still feel the same thing coming because they don’t want to go all the way into declaring an entire species to be evil. Next season we’ll probably get talking, sophisticated Gorn reformers who can be reasoned with who, by season 4 or 5 will be empowered through a convoluted plan that really shouldn’t work, and also kinda feels like a backdoor rationalization for starting coups and setting up people we like as absolute rulers. 

Mind you, I don’t think it would be “good, actually” for the Gorn to not get toned down, doubling down on there being no accommodation with them would be really bad - but the devil is in the details and I don't find that I trust the writers to write their way out of where they are right now with the Gorn and achieve a good Star Trek resolution. Of course they still have to leave open the conflict over Cestus 3, so they can't completely twist the Gorn dial to "good" either, and that's where I think they're going to struggle: with having enough ambiguity this no longer feels like an existential conflict, but there's still enough gas in the tank that it could spark up again, just not right away.

If it were Star Wars and Disney decided to bring in the Yuuzhan Vong, by all means. Go hard. Leave no room for peace if you want. Its Star Wars and Disney, like the EU before it, clearly has decided that means some people, even entire cultures are vile, cruel, and there's no expectation that a sustainable, mutually acceptable rapport can be established.

I very brazenly and unapologetically hold a different standard for Star Trek. Its fiction and fictional universes can pick and choose their internal logic. But if you’re going to be the setting where things actually can work out for the common good, don’t muck it up with caricature and lazy, last minute offramps!

TNG often gets dinged for its aggressive pacifism, but I think that’s from a misunderstanding of TNG's assumptions about the nature of war. TNG was largely operating inside the framework of direct peer conflict rather than the cultural environment being steeped in types of conflict and eras where WMDs aren’t a factor. And where there were conflicts where WMDs are not a factor, they're not conflicts the writers personally felt were something they’d want their enlightened characters having anything to do with.

TNG’s understanding of war feels rooted in celebrating the legacy of the people who kept their cool or even disobeyed orders in the Cuban Missile Crisis. There’s no TNG or Discovery to complain about and dissect without Vasily Arkhipov.

The Discovery S1 finale: the good, bad, and uncomfortable

The revelation that Sarek played a role in authorizing the bomb plot on Qonos was bleak. Hardly shocking from Mr Vulcan Hello, but bleak. However, the season does end with Sarek being more introspective about how the war may have skewed his reasoning. It’s more thinkable now to bridge the Discovery version of Sarek with the strident peace maker if we assume Burnham’s monologue is right and the war inflicted deep moral injuries on everyone involved.

Moral injury in this instance refers to a concept that war is such an aberrant experience that it makes people lose sight of their values. Which can actually lead them into losing sight of why in normal times violence is disfavored for a problem solving tool and thus being less conscious in war of what precise immoral acts are necessary and useful and which ones are self defeating. The risk is that the greater the desperation and the greater the desensitization the more the finer distinctions between different acts of immorality blur.

The parallels between Burnham’s unrighteous stance in the beginning and her righteous stance now with the crew behind her are decently executed and feel good. However, this feels a bit like Picard in that the righteous stance feels good but authorial fiat is justifying it much more than the world building. It’s unclear at all how destroying Qonos would save the Federation. If their hand was detected, it seems extremely likely that the Klingons wouldn’t stop at making satraps out of Federation worlds, they’d actively become genocidal.

Also it seems unlikely that the Klingons could effectively wage a civil war if Qonos is their main industrial base. Which, considering this isn’t the first time that the threat of losing the home world might cripple the Klingon Empire so maybe it really is the case that Qonos is essential and there’s some sort of taboo or understanding that you don’t fight on the homeworld itself, or take any action against its infrastructure. If that’s the case, that taboo clearly was not in place during the Duras uprising.

While the world building doesn’t really seem to make a whole lot of sense, it is an okay moral parable about standing up for what’s right and not losing track of decency. Especially if we are intended to read this as the Federation’s plan was desperate and it really did make no sense, then crew of the Discovery was saving the Federation from itself not just morally, but also practically.

I love a good story about conscience and decency and Burnham‘s line about giving into the temptation to abandon the rules that keep our worst selves in check was very strong. I just wish that the world building in storytelling around that courageous stand made more sense the problem ultimately seems to be that People very understandably want to understand the stories in a more traditional way as if they are documentaries and I do too therefore, when the world building doesn’t seem to justify the actions of the characters, it undermines the value of the moral lesson itself.

Sat still is that this was a 15 episode season and we will never ever again get that amount of space to explore the characters and the universe so in some sense this is probably as good as the world building can get which is not great. It wasn’t terrible but you can fly the Terran Palace through some of the plot holes.

[tardytothepardy]

Fruits Basket - Vol 23

It's the final banquet babyyyy

(i hate how blurry that picture is but my camera just wouldn't fucking focus)(also yeah i colored in the speech bubbles, they were kinda confusing without context and didn't have anything to do with this specific frame)

So everyone's gathered in the main Sohma house, and no one really knows what's going on. They have no idea what to expect. Hiro notes that the grown-ups are "the ones who can't sit still today". Some miscellaneous stuff happens but I'm not sure if it's worth talking about? After the miscellaneous stuff, it is announced that Akito is ready for everyone to see, and out she steps in a kimono (I bet it's red; she'd look great in red, I think) and asks where Shigure is, because he apparently dipped out. Ritsu is in complete awe, does Akito partake in the same hobby he does? No, Ritsu, this is who she is.

There's a brief flashback to the previous book, where Shigure gave her something, and said "I guess you could call it a farewell present." Akito did not take kindly to that at all, and lashed out, accusing him of being the first to abandon her. He asks where she got that idea, he meant that she's finally becoming her own person, rather than the person her father wanted her to be, and his gift was something to commemorate that. Welcome in the new Akito, and all that.

Back to the present, Akito explains that the rest of the Juunishi were able to become their true selves, beyond the curse, and so she decided to as well. She tries to apologize, but she can't-- she knows that won't make up for anything that she did, at all.

It goes back to that memory with Shigure (this chapter is just a series of flashbacks and flashpresents) and he teases her, saying that he didn't know he was so important to her, and Akito insists that wasn't the case, that he was the one that she was most afraid of, the one that strayed the furtherest from her, bond or not. He says he had to keep his cool, be nonchalant, because otherwise he'd explode (ka-blooey). He says that he's childish, and doesn't like getting hurt, he hates losing, and he can't stand sharing things. This causes Akito to basically go Ó///Ò in realization, and he confirms that realization (the realization being that he likes her as well, in case you didn't catch it. It kinda took me a second on first reading, and I'm not exactly explaining this the best), and says that if Akito wants to reject him, now's the time, that if she comes to him again, it'll become a Thing. They'll become a Thing.

Back to the meeting, Akito says that she still wants to live with the Sohma family, because there are still things she feels she needs to do. She still is, at the end of the day, the head of the family, it's her duty (probably). She plans on talking to Ren, which I imagine will go well. After the meeting (I think, I don't think it's before, though timey wimey stuff is difficult), Akito is with Shigure, and he's asking if she wants him to stay at the main Sohma house, and she asks if he's angry about it. The vibe I get from him is "yesn't", honestly, but hey if they're happy, I guess it's fine.

Next chapter!

So there are two exposition characters (I'm sorry but that's really all they are) at school, and one of them sees Kyo. She gets excited, maybe she can go talk to him, and the other thinks he's waiting for Tohru, his girlfriend, to finish up with her tests. The first girl goes, "Whaaa?? When did that happen??", and the second says that it happened shortly after Tohru came back from the hospital. The first girl's hopes and dreams are apparently destroyed, I guess she liked Kyo.

It pans back to Tohru, now finished with her test, and the teacher, Mayu, wishing her a good summer vacation, it'll be her last. She also asks if something happened in the Sohma family, because a certain He seemed a little happier when she saw him yesterday. Tohru took "he" to mean Kyo and Yuki, and was basically like "yeah I guess so". Mayu played it off, yeah yeah those two that's definitely who she meant yeah totally see you next school term byeeee.

At the house (Shigure's house), Kyo, Yuki, and Tohru are talking about the meeting, and how it felt like it came out of nowhere. They were surprised that Tohru already knew about Akito, but she had to pretend she didn't for Akito's privacy (you don't just out people, that's rude). She asks if it was that much of a shock, and Yuki says he's mostly dumbfounded, though there has been a lot going on lately, a lot to think about. Kyo says he feels weird about it, simply because now he knows he's been violent with a woman all this time, but also says something about if Akito was a man, Kyo would be in trouble if there was another guy who liked Tohru. I'm not really sure where he got that idea, but Yuki thought it was pretty funny. It made Tohru realize that the air between Kyo and Yuki had cooled off significantly, and they seemed to be more at ease with each other than they ever had before (i mean in the beginning yuki would sneeze and kyo would be like "and i took that personally", so yeah they've changed a lot). She asked Kyo what had caused that change, and he told her that Yuki beat the crap out of him, and knocked some screws loose, but it was okay. They needed to be loosened.

Later, it seems that Kyo and Tohru went to Kazuma's house, where Kazuma said "I have no regrets. At this point, I'm prepared for death at any time.", because he's happy, y'know? But Tohru and (that other guy whose name completely escapes me wtf) protest at that, saying that you can't say things like that, it's not true! The other whispers to Kazuma that he can't die yet, because when they get married and have kids, he'll be a grandparent, which he seems to like the idea of. He tells Tohru that he eagerly awaits that time, but since Tohru didn't overhear it, she just awkwardly agrees that she also can't wait. (Kyo kinda caught on though)

Izusu comes in, says, "This is stupid, by the way", then walks out before anyone can respond. Tohru follows after her, and Kyo asks what Izusu was saying. Kazuma says that a lot has happened recently, and not everyone is going through the same thing.

Going with Tohru, she finds Izusu in another room, saying that she doesn't get it, how can he (Kyo, presumably) act like nothing's wrong, after all that's happened, and how Tohru can do the same, after she got so hurt?! Those kinds of hurt don't go away easily. Izusu continues, and says that if she had to choose to forgive Akito or not, she wouldn't, because she can't. She doesn't want Akito to apologize, and she can't help but feel like she's doing something wrong, because she can't make herself accept everything and move on. Tohru reassures her that there's nothing wrong with her, she didn't do anything wrong. Izusu wonders if her demeanor will turn Haru away, if it will disappoint him. Tohru says that there's no way that Haru could hate her.

The scene changes to Akito, who is talking to that one old lady who pops up every now and then, but I've never seen her name, who says that Akito went to see Ren again, but heard that she wasn't able to really talk to her. She says it would be faster to chase her out of the house, but it's also possible that Akito complicated things by staying at the house. She continues, saying how it must be nice being young, and being able to change your life so easily. She notes that she was born with the Sohma family, and raised with them, and has lived at the house for sixty years, she couldn't change her life now. Akito says that no one can change every thing, and no one would be asking her to. Maybe all she needs is a helping hand. In the end, the maid simply walks away, but y'know, not everyone wants to change, or feels like they can, it's fine.

In the next chapter, it seems like it's the date with Tohru and Kyo that Uotani and Hanajima decided to tag along with. Kyo is thinking back to that moment when he tore off his bracelet, and how afterward, Tohru picked up all the beads. She put them in a little bowl in her room, next to the picture of her mom. In the moment, he could only watch as she did it, and in all honesty he wouldn't have minded if she had tossed them into a fire, but it also occurred to him that he might regret not having them. As he watched Tohru pick up the beads, he thought of it like she was "protecting both the me of now and the me of the future". Alternatively, and this one is a bit spoopy, she was gathering the memories of the people over the (many, many, many) years that had worn that bracelet. Either way, he realized that loving someone isn't just about loving the person as they currently are, but as they were, and as they will be.

That's what he thinks anyway.

I mentioned the date but I didn't talk about it at all. They went to a zoo, Uotani got excited about seeing elephants, and they went to a place with cats, and the cats did not care either way about Kyo. It was neat. By the end of the day, Tohru went off to use the bathroom, leaving Kyo with Hanajima and Uotani. This is when Hanajima asks Kyo if he's going to take Tohru away with him. She knew the time would come, eventually, when she, Uotani, and Tohru, would part ways, but it still hurts to think about. Uotani says that, despite how they might act, they do like Kyo, even if they think he's a bit of a dumbass (Uotani's words, btw), and it's because they both think he's a good guy. He just has to take care of Tohru, because she's like family to them, so he'd best not fuck up.

When Tohru comes back, Kyo says there's a place that he wants to take Tohru before going home. Can we go see what Yuki's up to first? Okay yeah we're going to do that now, we'll get back to Tohru and Kyo, don't worry.

So Yuki's at Kakeru's place, and it seems that they're talking about their college plans. Apparently Yuki's going to a college pretty far away from where they're currently at, but if they have subjects that he's interested in, it's fine. (I don't think it's ever said what exactly those subjects are. Like, what's his major? Do I really care? Eh. But it's still nice to know. Same thing for Kakeru, what is he doing?) When Yuki says he'll be living on his own, Kakeru asks if he can manage, he doesn't want to go for a visit and see an emaciated Yuki (living on like,, partially-cooked instant ramen noodles, and several scattered half-empty water bottles in a nest of laundry and schoolwork). Yuki is more optimistic, saying he's going to learn by doing (so that means those cups of instant ramen will be completely cooked). Apparently he told Machi about it and she's fine with it, though she would not be fine if she heard Kakeru saying that anyone is "climbing the stairway to adulthood" which honestly I wouldn't be fine with that either, that just sounds stupid.

Komaki asks how Yuki's going to get the money to live somewhere, and Yuki says that he considered asking his parents, but in the end he asked Ayame to help. Ayame was overjoyed to help, and went nuts to find a place that would suit Yuki's needs (Or be the foundation of his "empire", as he phrased it).

When asked about college, Kakeru said he'd go, not because he really wants to, but mostly because people keep telling him to. He was planning on taking over Komaki's family business (they run a laundry service), but he supposes he'll go anyway.

Later, Machi shows up with a package of meat, which Komaki was very excited about. Kakeru trotted out his "stairway to adulthood" line on Machi, and Machi punched him in the face along with the meat, she somehow balanced the meat on her fist to smash into Kakeru's face, much to Komaki's distress (over the meat, not Kakeru).

Anyway, let's go back to Tohru and Kyo.

Kyo took Tohru to the graveyard, and they're standing at the Honda's family tombstone(memorial? thingie? idk), and he says that after he graduates, he wants to leave, because he's spent his whole life up until pretty recently avoiding life, and not letting himself get involved in things. But now that he's a normal person, he wants to live in the world as a normal person, with Tohru, and because of all of this, he wants to go outside of this place that he's been his whole life. Tohru asks where he's planning to go, and he says that Kazuma knows someone with a dojo, but it's really far from where they presently live. He says he's planning on going there first, attending the dojo while he works, and then one day, he'll inherit Kazuma's dojo, using the experience from the first dojo. He hesitates on asking Tohru to break away from everything and everyone she's known to go off with him, but Tohru agrees, and says she wants to go with him, as soon as possible.

There is one thing that Tohru wants to tell Kyo, and it's that she's sure that her mom never hated him. Even if she did say that she would never forgive him, Tohru is confident that she didn't say it out of hate, she knows it. She will go along with Kyo, even if it hurts to leave everyone else, because it would hurt her more to be apart from him (🥺). To end this section, Kyo says that he'll keep the promise he made to Kyoko about Tohru, all that while back, and he'll keep it for his whole life.

(don't mind me i'm just screeching and wheezing simultaneously this shit is too much i'm gonna die)

Onto the next section, it actually has to do with Kyoko and Katsuya. Mostly Kyoko, and her last thoughts before she died. At first, it was weird. What's going on? She can't hear anything, she doesn't even really hurt. Why is it so dark? Oh crap, Tohru! She can't leave yet, she doesn't want to leave Tohru alone, she only just got into high school. She hopes that she loved her enough, and that Tohru knew that, though she wished she could have had more time to love Tohru. She finally understands, though, that leaving people behind and being left behind, they're both so hard. She hopes that someone can be there for Tohru, to protect her, stay with her as she cries.

She then sees Kyo, and recognizes him as the little orange-haired kiddo she used to talk to sometimes, and hopes that even if he forgets about her, that the next time Tohru gets lost, Kyoko wants him to find her, even just once. If he doesn't do that, she'll never forgive him(that's what she meant, out of what he heard, by the way). She hopes that he can somehow take her place, and protect Tohru, and let her be happy, let her be loved by lots of people. Even if she gets lost or makes a mistake, Kyoko wants Tohru to be proud of the life she lived.

Then she wakes up in a place. I don't really know what the place looks like, but I imagine it as a light blue shimmery place, and she can see someone walking towards her, from a distance. Katsuya. Suddenly she's young again, with her long hair and uniform, and she can be with the man she loves again. (🥺😭 dissolves in my tears)

There's a time skip, now Tohru, Yuki, Kyo, Hanajima, and Uotani have graduated, and it soon after shows Tohru and Kyo cleaning up their rooms, and reminiscing about when Tohru first arrived. A lot has changed in that time, it's incredible. Tohru thinks on how she will miss everyone, and all the things that have happened (in the span of a year, right? This all mostly happened within a year or two?). Kyo then says that everyone loves and appreciates her, and it's not like she'll never see any of them again, it's just the start of something new. Then Tohru's stomach grumbles and she gets embarrassed (oh no im hungry how embarrassing 😖)

We then jump to Yuki and Machi, and Yuki gives Machi a key to his new place, because he doesn't want her to think that he's cheating on her (why would she think that???) and then nearly fuckin yeets it out the window when she says that she's not worried that he'd do that. (So he does want her to have trust issues? Yuki, dude, you're confusing me on this) I think that Machi is a year behind Yuki, so she won't be starting college the same time as he will, but she promises that she'll follow after him and be back with him as soon as she can, which is very sweet.

This whole section is mostly jumping from one group of people to the next, so I think I'll try to summarize:

Ritsu and Kagura are talking, it seems that Ritsu is giving Kagura his old kimonos. He's cut his hair shorter, and he mentions how Shigure apparently has quit being an author, much to the relief of his editor, Mitsuru. Kagura asks if Ritsu is going to marry Mitsuru, which leaves him very flustered. Kagura still is hung up on Kyo, and says that she'll see Kyo and Tohru go just to see Kyo. She won't well wish them, because she knows that they'll be happy regardless.

Hiro and Kisa are walking past Shigure's old house, speculating on what is going to happen to it. Hiro says he thinks it will stay as it is for a while, which makes Kisa happy. She hopes that it can stay up and that a new household can live in it. She then starts crying, thinking about Kyo and Tohru leaving, but she says that she will smile when she sees them go, on the next day. Hiro tells her to not be upset over crying, that she can cry as much as she wants, because he knows how much Tohru means to Kisa.

Haru, Izusu, and Momiji are talking, and Haru mentions how Hatori said that eventually, Shigure's gonna get punched in the face, but he never did. Momiji says that it didn't happen because they are all more mature than Shigure. He says as an aside that he doesn't think it should be allowed that Kyo is "taking away" Tohru, because he's being selfish, and that he wants to pinch Kyo. Haru asks why he shouldn't do it tomorrow, and Momiji says that he can't do it in front of Tohru, but this whole thing has given Momiji a new sense of motivation, to find the best girlfriend in the world, and then he'll show her off to Kyo (not the best motivation to find a partner but okay). Izusu pops up by saying that she thinks Tohru should break up with Kyo. I'm not sure why though.

It's shown that Hanajima is working at Kazuma's place as a cook, which is something that Kyo was not pleased to find out, but despite his best efforts, The Guy Who is Also There at the Dojo Whose Name I Cannot Remember can't figure out how to get her to leave. Kazuma says that he will miss Kyo, but he won't worry about him. He's in good hands now.

Uotani is on the phone with Kureno, saying that she'll send his regards to Tohru and Kyo. She also says that she will miss Tohru, but she's also excited for her, for the both of them. She asks if the cherry blossoms are blooming yet, and that she'll have to make her way out to see them (and Kureno) soon.

Ayame and Mine are sending well wishes gifts in the form of big flouncy dresses, for Tohru (who I imagine would be flattered but I doubt she would wear them). Mine says that now that the time has come, she finds this sensation of "children leaving the nest" to be lonely, and Ayame agrees, and says that's exactly why adults put obnoxious amounts of love into cardboard boxes with instant ramen, socks, maid outfits, what have you. (They then say that they're going to send similarly flouncy dresses to Yuki, who I doubt will respond kindly)

Mayu and Hatori are on a date, and he offers to take her with him on a summer vacation to Okinawa. He says he's never been on a "decent" vacation, and that he wants to see the country. Mayu starts cracking up at the idea of Hatori in a swimsuit, then sobers quickly at the idea of herself in one, saying that her figure isn't ideal for a swimsuit (from the way she talked about herself I think she'd be all the rage in early 2000's Western fashion).

Akito says that she's not going to see Tohru and Kyo leave, saying that if she wants to visit Tohru, she'll go and see her, but I imagine it's also for the sake of everyone else that would be there.

Finally, we end with Yuki going to talk to Tohru. He tells her that he's happy about all that has happened, and that he's glad that he has gotten to this point. He says that he was weak, that he couldn't handle being around people, but he wanted to be loved, and be needed. All he ever did, he says, is want. But during that crucial time, Tohru appeared, and fulfilled that wish without even trying. He learned so much from her, and she gave him what he needed, and that's how he is able to be the person he presently is. And he also finally says that she was basically his mother, in a way. He wonders if she was like that to everyone, with how warm, welcome, and gentle she is to everyone she meets. He goes on to say that in this time, when everyone is parting ways, everyone is thinking of Tohru, wondering if she's happy, if she's crying, if she's doing well. Finally, he thanks her, and says that he's so glad that he got to meet her, and that she was there for him, and for all of them. (He also actually says her name, which he's never done, I don't think. It's always been "Honda-san", but never "Tohru", but now he's said it. There's really not an English version of that, as far as I'm aware, but from what I know, it is a pretty significant thing.)

There's a little bit of an epilogue, showing a child walking into a house, asking where Tohru and Kyo are. A woman replies saying, "That's Grandma and Grandpa to you!", but the child pouts and says that Grandma said she could call her by her name, and that they left her behind again on their walk. The woman tells her to not get in the way of their "lovey-dovey alone time", and there's a final establishing shot of Tohru and Kyo walking together, holding hands, with Kyoko's words: "Repeat the good, and the bad. Do it all, and pile on the years."

And that's the end!

I think I'm heartless, because I didn't cry at the end. I wanted to, but I didn't. Overall, I really liked this series! It was a lot of fun to read, a lot of shit goes down, it was a rollercoaster. Thinking back on how the story started, knowing some of the events that occurred before the story started, it all kinda leaves a bitter taste in my mouth (mainly the teasing that Kyo gets about him "training in the mountains", and knowing what was actually going on, it's kinda hard to laugh now 😬). One thing that I was kinda expecting the story to mention, but never did, was Izusu's mark on her back. It looks like some kinda of scar, but I never saw anything addressing it. Now that I think about it, it could have been from a number of things, but it was never said explicitly, which I think is weird. I think I'm gonna leave it here (I'm typing this last portion on my phone at 3:45am so it could be better).

[florrickandassociates]

TGF Thoughts: 5x03-- And the court had a clerk...

Hello again! It’s nice to have this show back. This episode was a bit less of a standout than the previous two, but I’m still happy with the overall direction for this season. More under the cut (or here, because tumblr sucks). 

When Robert King tweeted the episode title, I asked him if all the titles this season were adding up to one long sentence/story, hoping he’d confirm it and give a little more information. He did! He said it’s “in the Farmer in the Dell mode” and while I think I get what he’s saying, I’m very curious to see how it plays out. Haven’t been able to track down 5x04′s title yet, but the promo is out. (As of this morning! It’s interesting they’re not putting them after the episode this year; I kind of like it.) 

Kurt’s job is up in the air given the new administration. I think this scene exists mostly just to remind us where Kurt works and the stakes.

What month is this supposed to be in? The transition seems recent but no one is wearing masks.  

Kurt spots a poster asking for help ID’ing people at the Capitol on January 6th. He thinks he recognizes someone...

And now we’re in case of the week land. This case is about a small business owner whose business went under after someone created fake news articles accusing him of pedophilia.  

I think the whole point of this (kind of long) scene is to show that this case is a pretty small deal. Low stakes, inexperienced opposing lawyer. (Not even sure why Liz would be arguing this in court, but whatever.)

Tbh I thought this was going to wind up in 9 ¾ court.

Now that we have junior level characters, we get scenes showing that there are, in fact, people at RBL who are mid-level. Liz asks an associate to work on something, he asks another associate to work on it, she delegates to other associates, and they delegate to Marissa and Carmen. This work seems terrible.  

It’s so funny to me how this is probably more realistic than most of the lawyering on the show and yet it only shows up selectively. We only see the hierarchy here to make it clear that Marissa and Carmen are at the bottom.  

David Lee interrupts and asks for Carmen. He’s very rude to her. Interestingly, she’s hesitant to leave her grunt work and follow David, even though she must know he outranks the associate who gave her the grunt work.

“Why am I supposed to know you?” David asks her as they walk through the halls. “I don’t know if you are,” Carmen responds. “Why does Benjamin Dafoe know you?” he asks. She doesn’t know who he is.  

“Who are you?” Dafoe asks when Carmen enters. She states her name, again. “Why are you important?” he asks. “I don’t think that I am,” Carmen responds.  

Then Dafoe says his top client, and it’s a name that the characters all know. I’m glad this scene is free of any “he’s the white OJ” expository lines (that’s from Sweeney’s introduction) -- it’s clear from the reactions and the discussion of police and rape that the top client is a bad guy, probably a rapist. The rapist wants Carmen to represent him.

Putting 2 and 2 together, Carmen asks if the rapist knows Rivi. He’s not, but he’s at the same prison. As soon as Carmen says she’s representing Rivi, David Lee switches gears, understanding the situation and trying to sign the new business. He’s so shameless!  

Marissa sorts ALL the papers. There are a LOT of papers. I’m swamped. Look at all this paper.

She catches the associate who assigned her the task leaving for the night just as she finishes up, and cheerfully notes she’s finished the task. Then the associate mentions this was only half of the bills. Marissa does not like that. Since her goal in wanting to be a lawyer is mostly just to give her something exciting to do and earn respect... this hierarchy thing is not going so well.

Marissa decides that after her rough day, she’s going to stop by Wackner’s court. He’s in the middle of a case about Emily in Paris fanfiction and he’s very happy to see Marissa.  

Wackner’s night court has a program—it notes the sponsor is Copy Co-op (I thought it was Copy Coop?) and the paper products were also provided by them. And “there will be regular intermissions at the discretion of Judge Wackner.” It’s very theatrical.  

Wackner takes a recess and calls Marissa to his “chambers.” He asks for her thoughts on the case. “All they want is attention and to feel like they’ve won,” Marissa notes. Wackner’s on the same wave length and compares it to the Scarecrow’s diploma at the end of The Wizard of Oz. So, he makes copyright certificates and some minor modifications to each of the fanfic books. They say “I respect you and I love you” and that’s that.

Wackner catches Marissa before she leaves and asks her to be his law clerk—part time or full time, 10% of all the legal filings and unlimited use of copy machines. She is hesitant because she “doesn’t even know what this is.”

Wackner says his court is “the future.” Marissa turns him down; notes she wants to pass the bar. “You know why all these people are here? ‘Cause the courts and the lawyers and the appeals have made justice... unattainable. Out of reach. To anyone who doesn’t have a shitload of money to wait it out. That’s why Exxon beats out Mr. Nobody. Read Kafka’s Before the Law.”  

I just read it, and you should too! It literally is a page, but tl;dr, there’s a man who wants to get to the law and instead he spends his whole life trying to win over the first of many gatekeepers on the path to the law. He never gets through the gate.  

“Justice is only just if it’s available to everyone,” Wackner says. Marissa thinks about that.

As I said last week, it’s smart that Wackner makes so much sense. Hearing him say all this, knowing that it’s true... it makes it very easy to get on board with the thought experiment. Of course there would be huge repercussions to this kind of system, but it makes so much sense it’s compelling TV!

Kurt’s showering when Diane gets home, which gives her time to stumble across the WANTED poster and notice that Kurt has drawn facial hair onto one of the pictures. “Who is this?” she asks him. “No one,” he says. “Well, you drew in a beard and a moustache on him,” Diane notes. Kurt says he was doodling, but Diane calls him out as he is the “exact opposite of a doodler.” Kurt says he thought it was someone he knew, but he’s not sure. Diane pushes him to tell the feds. Kurt reiterates he’s not sure, but it’s someone he went shooting with. “Oh my God, then it’s him,” Diane jumps to (not incorrect) conclusions. Kurt says he didn’t talk that way; he’s a veteran. “Kurt! That’s the profile!” Diane argues. Kurt isn’t convinced and he doesn’t want to be responsible for naming names. He notes he’ll be threatened with indictment for not naming names and then only lawyers will end up benefitting. Diane is not convinced.

I think this is an interesting conflict for Kurt and Diane. I understand why Kurt is hesitant to speak out before he’s sure. And I understand and agree with Diane that it’s important to identify the attackers and prevent anything like that from happening again.

I don’t mean to blame Kurt, exactly, but I feel like all of what happens next could’ve played out differently if Kurt had been just a little clearer with Diane about why he was hesitant to ID the man. Like, the threat of indictment for not naming names sounds like some typical anti-government rambling. Saying you specifically are afraid that this will turn back on you and you need to weigh your options and come up with a plan first would put Diane in a very different mode, in which they’d work together to craft the best strategy. Because this man would’ve been ID’d by someone, sooner or later, and Kurt would’ve needed to be prepared.  

Diane stares at the wanted poster at work and asks Jay to find his identity. He’s on the FBI TEN MOST WANTED? Ten!? Ok!  

Diane shares the extra information she has—the gun range and that he’s a veteran—and Jay gets to work.  

Turns out there’s no money in the case that Liz, a name partner, is working on and Marissa just spent all those hours sorting bills for. I could’ve told you there was no money in that case lol.  

Jay IDs the guy very fast. He’s faster than the feds because they didn’t know where he shot. The range had his license on file, and Jay got ahold of it.

“Well, we don’t pay you enough,” Diane says. “Oh, I know that,” Jay laughs.  

Diane says she’s going to think about calling the feds—it's definitely the same guy.

Marissa notes someone high profile (David Cord, who I presume is a thinly veiled stand-in for David Koch given the name, his role in the plot, and the fact that he is “David Cord of the Cord Brothers”) in the lobby giving a fake name and goes to tell Liz.  

David Cord is performing magic tricks for the receptionists (they don’t recognize him) when Liz and Marissa show up. “I knew your father. I hated your father,” Cord says. “Yes, well, he hated you too,” Liz says. He says he gave a fake name to see what the reception would be like since he’s kinda infamous.  

Liz introduces Marissa as one of the law clinic lawyers. Marissa knows what to say in this situation. Specifically, she knows that it is the exact right moment to name drop her father.  

“Democrats as far as the eye can see,” Cord notes. At that, Liz asks Marissa to get Julius involved.

More good expository work! (No, editor feature of Word, I do NOT want that to say “Better expository work,” that would change my meaning, go away and please stop grading my recap??? I don’t know how I brought this up but it’s telling me my score is 72%, so a C, and it’s driving me crazy. Oh, now I’m a 71%. It had me at like, 50%, because I had written “Wackner” and “Wackner” is not a word. No shit.)  

Anyway, back to the exposition. I like that we don’t get a line like, “Liz! David Cord, the Republican super donor, is here!” We just get to see Liz’s reaction, Cord’s hate of Liz’s father, and the line about democrats. Then it becomes clearer who Cord is.

Just noticed Liz is wearing an Apple Watch.

Liz stands for her meeting with Cord, likely to maintain power. Cord says January 6th changed everything to him and now he’s all about unity and loving America.  

Cord has something to say about Liz’s case, the one that’s not making any money, and he seems to know quite a lot about it. That spooks Liz.  

Then Cord offers her $12 million to continue the case for another six months (all of these months, seemingly, will play out in the couple of days the rest of this episode takes, but, whatever). He just wants them to go after the social media company that distributed the fake news... and Section 230.

Don’t know what that is? Now you do, because there is a Good Fight short! These work so much better when they’re actually needed (explaining concepts, etc.) than when they’re trying to force one into every episode (remember that Downton Abbey one? What... was that?)  

I was talking to @mimeparadox about this short and he pointed out that this short has a VERY clear POV on an issue that actually doesn’t seem to be all that straightforward. If you’re like me and only had a vague sense of what Section 230 was prior to this episode, this short is telling you what to think of it—it isn’t just explaining what it is.

I do tend to agree with the show’s POV on most things, but this is an issue I’d like to read more on. I love how Section 230 was something I hadn’t really read up on prior to this episode and now that it’s been on TGF I realize it’s something that actually, yes, I would’ve been interested in knowing about earlier. Is this because things that are on TGF are interesting to me because they’re on TGF or is it because TGF generally only discusses things that would be interesting to me? Probs a little bit of both.  

Diane asks Jay how to make an anonymous phone call and he hands her a burner phone. She calls the FBI with the rioter’s name. She doesn’t leave her name and then she dumps the phone.  

Credits! Did you catch there’s a Jordan Boatman in the credits? She plays one of the associates who passes down the grunt work to Marissa, and she’s Michael Boatman’s daughter in real life! She’s also been in one other episode, in season 3.  

I never get tired of these credits!  

The RL partners (and some associates who are on the case? I think these are the same ones who delegated the work to Marissa?) debate whether or not they should take Cord’s money. Madeline notes that he’s funded a lot of Republican campaigns; Julius notes that both Republicans and Democrats agree that Section 230 is flawed and this is an opportunity for unity.

Diane notes that the right doesn’t want to stop conspiracy theories from spreading, so is this really that bipartisan? “It would help if the boomers would stop falling for those conspiracy theories and sharing it with their friends,” an associate (I believe this is Michael Boatman’s daughter again) notes. That quiets the room and the partners all glare at her. Yeah, that was a kind of stupid thing to say. First of all, it’s just not appropriate to say to the partners, and it’s also, like, missing the point? If it’s easy for conspiracy theories to spread among boomers, maybe just expecting each member of that generation to suddenly have a millennial’s understanding of the internet is the wrong strategy? Maybe there’s some structural issue here? That maybe, just maybe, this case is actually about?  

The associate also points out that the internet is currently a place where people can speak out about sexual harassment-- “they repeal section 230, and there would be no #MeToo.”

One of the partners says he doesn’t believe that—if they regulate section 230, then newspapers can actually be competitive and there’s still free speech online.  

“We’re not going back to reading newspapers, grandpa,” some associate says. What the actual fuck, dude? Who talks like that to their boss?! It’s so condescending. He’s also wrong! “Newspapers” are not just physical things... reporting by major publications still matters and will continue to matter. Like, is he suggesting that in the future all news will just be random people tweeting things they think are true with no fact checking or curation? Sure, journalism is struggling right now—but I don’t think that’s because there’s a lack of desire for well-reported news.  

I am glad the partners call him out on saying “grandpa” and honestly I’m shocked he isn’t asked to leave the discussion after that rude remark. Unless this young looking dude is a partner too? But I don’t think he is.  

Julius notes that if they’re going to pursue this case, they need money like Cord’s. At that, Liz starts to leave the meeting. “We haven’t decided if we’re taking this Cord money yet,” Madeline protests. “Of course we are,” Liz says and leaves.  

Now that’s more like it! I’m not sure if this is necessarily the best way to handle this, but she’s a) correct, they were always going to take the money because it is $12 million and an issue of interest and b) using her authority. Should Liz be making decisions totally on her own? Maybe not. Does Liz making this decision and then leaving (with everyone accepting that she’s correct) cut through a lot of bullshit and establish Liz as the one in charge? Yup.

Diane says, “Ooh-kay” with a little bit of an eyeroll after Liz exits, but she’s still laying low. I think in a different season Diane might’ve tried to push back.  

Is it me or does Baranski get a lot of material this episode we haven’t seen before? Lots of really good reaction shots/tones in this episode I don’t really think we’ve seen from Diane before. I’m impressed there’s still new stuff after 12 years.

At some point maybe I will actually write the essay I’ve been wanting to write for ages about how TGF is still so relevant despite being in a universe that should be showing its age by now. I wish I could find the first time that I called TGW a period piece set in the present day (I know it would’ve been during season five) because I think that’s the key to TGW/TGF’s enduring success. The shows always feel timely because they try to capture the present moment (which is, of course, always changing) and don’t get stuck in any one moment in time. Further, the fact that the writers are always so tuned in to events and skilled at quickly reacting to what happens in the world makes them VERY good in a pinch, which is (I think) why they’re able to make the most of unexpected situations (Josh leaving TGW, the pandemic).  

Liz and Julius bring a suit against ChumHum to attack 230. Judge Friend is initially skeptical of their argument that 230 is unconstitutional; then she’s intrigued. I am too. This argument about the press is a very interesting one. I obviously have a lot of reading to do on 230, but my take after this episode is pretty much that social media platforms have to be held responsible in some way, but I don’t think it’s feasible or desirable for them to be responsible for every single one of billions of posts. I think there has to be some way to regulate social media giants that would allow everyday people to share things and speak out but would prevent the curated (even by an algorithm) spread of fake news and make social media giants accountable when there are very public bad actors using their platforms. What that regulation would be I have no idea. I just refuse to believe that our options are to give the social media sites full immunity or to regulate the internet so strongly that no one is able to speak freely because all the platforms are worried about lawsuits.  

Over at the VA, people are being fired. When Kurt gets into his office, Madeline Starkey (wait, are there two characters named Madeline in this episode?) is waiting for him. She’s still very quirky and scary.  

Starkey says the guy that Diane reported is now saying Kurt trained him on using assault rifles and buying ammunition in bulk. Kurt notes these were topics covered in a group setting, which Starkey knew—and what she’s really after is the names of the others in the group. (She may already know them, since she knows there were five of them.)

Kurt refuses to name names and just stares at her.  

Case stuff happens! (I liked the last two episodes a lot but it’s much faster for me to just write, “case stuff happens” for some of the scenes.)

Hey, surprise Aaron Tveit! (Not really a surprise; he is in the credits. But still yay!)  

I don’t really know why Liz and Julius are talking about newspapers specifically and not all types of fact-based journalism/press? I feel like their argument is most convincing when it’s about actual newspapers (especially local ones) but still would apply to cable news...

Marissa’s still hard at work sorting papers when the associate comes back in and informs her she can stop; they’ve changed strategies and everything she’s done is now irrelevant. She also says “I forgot to tell you” at the start of that thought, meaning that she neglected to tell Marissa this important information earlier and wasted her time. Marissa is not pleased and so she goes to Wackner’s court, where Wackner now has a deli ticket machine and is wearing super-sized novelty sunglasses. Why not!

He sees Marissa and calls a five-minute recess. In “chambers,” Marissa tells him she’d like to work for him part-time but keep her RL job.  

Wackner needs her help processing more copyright certificates. He’s priced them competitively at $20 and found that a lot of writers want these certificates, even though they have no legal value. (Neither do actual copyrights, Wackner notes. And he notes that if anyone plagiarizes, they can sue in HIS court.)  

“Marissa, I’m building something here. I want you to join me. I want your advice on cases. I want to bounce legal theories off you,” he says. “What are your legal theories?” she asks. “I don’t know. That’s why I need to bounce them,” he says.  

Marissa gives him from noon to 2 and 5-7, which seems awfully ambitious for someone working at a law firm!

“That’s how revolutions are made. Back rooms of copy shops,” he says, accepting her offer.  

Kurt is sulking in the dark when Diane arrives home. He lets her know about Starkey’s visit and she immediately goes into lawyer mode. Notably, this scene does not spend much time on how Starkey found out the rioter’s name. Curious if they’re saving that for later or if Diane and Kurt both know what Diane must have done or if Kurt think’s it’s a coincidence.  

Kurt SET UP A TOUR OF THE CAPITOL for one of the veterans in his shooting group, and that tour was ON JANUARY 6TH! I really do wish he’d told Diane that upfront.  

Maybe the long pause where Kurt refuses to tell Diane which congressperson arranged the tour even after she promises she won’t say is him letting on that he knows that Diane ID’d the guy? Or maybe it’s just Kurt.  

I do not like the dead birds in Starkey’s office, mostly because I do not like thinking about dead birds.

Starkey compares Diane and Kurt to the Conways.  

And now more case stuff happens.  

Julius gets to question a witness for the first time in two years! He’s a little shaky at first but then he does a fantastic job! Yay Julius!

When Diane arrives at the office, reception is filled with around a hundred teddy bears. “What?” she asks. “Build-a-Bears. They were sent to Marissa,” the receptionist explains. “Okay... why?” Diane asks the logical next question. The receptionist does not know.  

“This one’s a Marissa bear,” she says, showing Diane a bear wearing boots and a wig. It does not look much like Marissa and it says “Hug me.”

Diane looks confused and furious at the same time. Her look here is, like, a milder version of the death stare she gives Alicia in Outside the Bubble when she learns about Alicia and Cary’s plan to leave.  

“Why don’t we, meaning you, take all these stuffed animals and put them in the conference room,” Diane instructs the receptionist. She is NOT! HAPPY! The receptionist seemed to be having fun with the bears, but clearly the right answer was to have done something with them and... not to have put them over every surface in reception. Eeek.  

Carmen’s new client, the rapist, arrives at the firm before anyone can hide the bears. “This may not be the firm for you,” his advisor/lawyer (I’m not totally sure what this dude’s job is) warns.  

Madeline notices the rapist and glares at the receptionist. “I know. I’m putting them in the conference room,” the receptionist says, thinking Madeline is upset about the bears. She is not upset about the bears.

Diane finds Marissa, who’s working with Carmen again. She asks Carmen to give them a moment.

“Why are there hundreds of teddy bears in our reception?” Diane asks. Marissa is confused. Diane shows her the Marissa bear. Marissa looks horrified and amused. “That doesn’t even look like me,” Marissa notes, completely missing how pissed off Diane is. I don’t think we have seen Diane be this direct/no-nonsense in ages.  

“That would seem to be beside the point. What is going on, Marissa?” Diane demands. Marissa suspects this is based on some advice she offered to a client who was buying a Build-a-Bear franchise and thinks this is a thank you gift. “What client? You’re not a lawyer! Why do you have clients?” Diane says exasperatedly.  

Marissa gives her a look, and Diane immediately understands that she’s been back to Wackner’s court. “Oh my God, this is about that Copy Coop court?”

“Marissa, no. By participating in that simulacrum of a courtroom, you exposed this firm to malpractice, sanctions, and God knows what,” Diane says. If that were really true, she wouldn’t have sat there and argued. I mean, I don’t know the legality of this all, but I feel like it’s a bigger optics issue than legal issue if Diane and other lawyers are willing to even consider participating?  

“If you wish to continue your employment at this firm, you will never do anything like that again. Do you understand?” Diane says. She will not hear any arguments.  

I love that Marissa is the thing that keeps Wackner coming back. It’s a good plot for her, but structurally, it also allows the show to keep Wackner around without many contrivances. Wackner sees that Marissa would understand what he’s up to, she sees that he shares some of her frustrations with the law, and they both want to work together again. It’s not like suddenly everyone’s talking about Wackner’s court and all the cases somehow end up there or anything.

The receptionist, who is having a truly terrible day, comes into announce that Kurt and Starkey have arrived. “Don’t put them in the conference room!” Diane commands, knowing that the teddy bears will be there. It’s too late, though, because the receptionist (who previously seemed to be fine at her job if bad at recognizing public figures and understanding that partners might not find teddy bears amusing) has already put them in the conference room. I feel bad for her, and don’t think the other things were her fault, but I feel like she could’ve seen this one coming...  

I find the teddy bears HILARIOUS, mostly because the reactions to them are so funny. It’s kind of the same gag as the balloons for Lucca in season two, but I don’t really care, because I’m getting to see Diane Lockhart treat hundreds of Build-a-Bears like they are a real work problem.

Starkey jokes about the bears; Kurt is silent.  

The rioter from the poster is now accusing Kurt of coming up with the STRATEGY for January 6th, which Kurt and Diane both dismiss as bullshit.  

I could do without Starkey’s musical cues.

I can’t tell if Kurt is in trouble here or if she’s just pressing him to name names. Why wouldn’t she just have rioter guy name names if he’s so eager to blame Kurt? I guess maybe if the others were actually there, he might be less likely to name the names of his actual co-conspirators? Or, Starkey might already know the names (surely the shooting range has logs) and be using this to raise the stakes.  

No one (except maybe the partner named Daniel) is happy about the rapist in reception. “Since when are we representing people like Wolfe-Coleman?” Julius asks. Didn’t these people help both Sweeney (though I think Sweeney was in some weird police brutality case and they didn’t actually want to represent him) and Bishop? And Rivi? But they draw the line here? Sure.  

Ah, there we go, an expository line-- “he’s the next Jeffrey Epstein”. Almost made it the whole episode without one of these. I’ll forgive it since it’s so late in the episode lol.  

“Did you approve this, Liz?!” Madeline demands. Liz did not. Daniel wonders if that means Diane approved it. Liz doesn’t think so and calls Diane (who happens to be walking past) in.  

“I know, the teddy bears. I’m working on it,” Diane says when she opens the door. I think the teddy bears are a bigger issue to Diane than to anyone else.  

Diane didn’t approve representing Mr. Rapey either. She’s uncomfortable that a meeting was happening without her; Madeline notes that she is standing there specifically because they wanted to involve her.  

David Lee pops up out of nowhere with the answer: one of the new associates (not Marissa, “the real one”) pulled in Mr. Rapey. Are there only two associates now even though orientation was for a big group?  

Firth is gone, btw. David Lee is the new Mr. Firth. I have no idea why David would want to be STR Laurie’s guy for managing RL but... sure, whatever? David Lee is an effective antagonist, especially in small doses, and this allows the writers to keep him around and continue the STR Laurie plot without a key guest star. If STR Laurie is still a thing, and it seems like it is going to be a thing for a while, then having David Lee take on this role makes sense for plot. Otherwise they’re going to have to shoehorn him in to every plot somehow. At least now he has a reason to be around.  

Liz and Diane take a walk to chat. Diane is worried about having David as their boss. Liz says she has a worse worry—David Lee knew exactly when to come downstairs with information, suggesting he know what they were talking about. “Would he do something like that?” Liz asks when Diane wonders if there’s a bug. “Oh, yeah,” Diane replies. Hah, yeah. He absolutely would.  

They decide to have Jay search for bugs and Liz is frustrated with how much time they have to spend on things other than lawyering. Yup.

“What is going on with all the teddy bears in the conference room?” Liz asks as they head back to the office. “It’s a long story,” Diane sighs. I also love that the teddy bears link the various pieces of the episode together—it feels like all of these threads are happening simultaneously because of that constant.  

I don’t get RL’s approach to clients. Bishop and Rivi are ok, Wolfe-Colman is not (except that actually he is fine). Cord is okay too. Do they draw the line anywhere? I know Liz was right when she said that OF COURSE they were taking the money, but is there really nothing that differentiates that situation from this one? I feel like there should be.

Marissa goes back to see Wackner. Since someone refuses to say “I respect and I love you,” Wackner reverses his ruling. This is part of the “Bad Loser Law of last Wednesday,” so the rules of Wackner’s court are clearly a work in progress.

Marissa explains she can’t be the law clerk because of Diane. She tries to connect him with a real lawyer, still not understanding exactly what Wackner’s after. “You know just enough not to crush what I’m doing here,” Wackner explains. “A real lawyer will look for reasons why not. I need someone to look for reasons why.”  

Case stuff happens. I cannot read Cord’s handwriting. Liz and Julius lose the case because Judge Friend says what’s happening isn’t fair, but it is constitutional. (So here we have, at least in the show’s POV, a good and attentive judge who can’t make decisions that make sense because she’s bound by a document written before anyone had ever dreamed of the internet.)  

Cord is waiting for Liz in her office. He’s prepared to bankroll an appeal. Did they blow thorough that $12 million already? Impressive; it’s been like a day.  

Cord says they are definitely the firm he wants. Interesting.

Now Liz wants a meeting with Carmen, so it’s Marissa who leaves the room. This scene seems like it was meant to be a different day?  

Liz wants to talk about Mr. Rapey. Carmen is, yet again, chill about the case. “Carmen, is there anyone that you would not represent?” Liz asks. Funny, Liz, I could ask you the same. Being hesitant about it is not changing the fact that you’re representing bad people. Carmen’s just cutting the bullshit.  

“I don’t understand. Is there someone you don’t want me to represent?” I love how Carmen’s incredibly polite responses always seem very pointed. There is absolutely nothing wrong with Carmen’s reply, and yet it puts Liz in a place where she can’t dance around what she’s trying to say.  

“I’m just trying to get a sense of who you are,” Liz explains.  

Then Liz decides she’s going to help on the Craig Wolfe-Colman (Mr. Rapey) case, and they will keep talking about her career path. Liz, this does not seem like the right solution! You're worried about your associate representing bad people so you’re like, I know, what if I ALSO represented bad people? If your goal is to convince Carmen not to take clients like this, you’re kinda shooting yourself in the foot!  

“Are you worried about me?” Carmen says, again turning things on Liz. “I don’t know what I am about you,” Liz replies. Me either. Well, I know I'm intrigued, but beyond that, no clue!

All the bears have ended up in Diane’s office, where Wackner is waiting. He jokes about how his court is always seen as informal, yet this real fancy law office is covered in Build-a-Bears. Then he says he wants to hire RL—he's willing to pay. He wants consultation from Marissa (“consultation on legal issues”) and he’s prepared to spend a lot. And, if there’s one thing we know, it’s that they’re always going to take the money. So, they do.

I love that Wackner’s goal is to “perfect my little clubhouse of the law.” It’s a fun plot, and it also allows for the rules in his court to change (I’m sure we’re going to be treated to/subjected to a lot of whimsical gags around changing and ridiculous rules). It's also a good way to work through the thought experiment over the course of the season. It’s not like Wackner already has a system set up and it’s perfect—I'm sure we’re going to see his system run into issues and explore that more, too.  

Wackner monologues a bit here about why he’s running fake court, and he lets us know he’s going to monologue. Basically he thinks people no longer want to help people and are only motivated by their own self interest. He notes that no one talks about the Peace Corps anymore and asks the last time Diane heard anyone say those words. I’m sure I’ve heard a reference more recently but my mind went RIGHT to season one Cary Agos saying “Peace Corps. Belize,” as some kind of smarmy pickup line. This is likely not where my mind was supposed to go.

Wackner wants “A new Peace Corps. For America.” Diane’s sympathetic to that and agrees to take him on as a client.  

Wackner asks if he can take a bear. Diane instructs him to take two.  

Aaaand Wackner and Cord end up on the elevator together. Wackner hands Cord a bear, the elevator doors close, and the episode ends. Since last episode ended with Marissa and Carmen in the elevator together, I’m hoping this will be how every episode this season ends. I think using the Kings’ favorite liminal space to transition between episodes is kind of fun, and it fits with the ellipses at the end of every episode title.  

Speaking of... did you see today’s elevator-themed episode of Evil? It was written by the Kings. Those two have been obsessed with elevators for at least a decade.  

[revchainsaw]

The Crow (1994)

Alright Cult of Cult. Do I really need to introduce this one? Let's get all 90s and gothy and maybe brace ourselves for a bit of cringe, but like in a fun way. It's the Holy Grail of Hot Topic, 1994's the Crow Starring Brandon Lee.

Sermon

Apparently before the auto industry totally crashed Detroit was already a total fucked to death pile of burning shit, or at least that's what the crow would have you believe. Sorry Bruce Campbell, and other people from Detroit, but mostly Bruce Campbell. According to the Crow the city of Detroit is the kind of place where gangs of warlock anarchist arsonists will bomb buildings, and murder and rape whoever they feel like and then walk around bragging about it the next day with absolutely zero consequences. Funny then that if Detroit was so bad they had to go to film this movie in Wilmington North Carolina which is definitely a fucked to death pile of burning shit. I can say that, I'm from there and I got the fuck out. My brother is going to kill me if he ever reads this. (It's okay, these are all jokes people). Did you know they also filmed the Super Mario Bros movie there ... also cuz they needed a really shitty looking distopia. Moving on ...

The ludicrous criminality of the Crow's Detroit is particularly on display on Halloween. In Detroit (apparently) Halloween is known as Devils Night and it's legitimately just a night of pure lawlessness and chaos and kids aren't even safe to get candy, except later when we do see trick or treaters. Eric Draven, hunky goth rocker who sort of looks like he could be Bruce Lee's Kid and his fiance are murdered by a gang of vicious criminals. One year hence, Eric is resurrected by a mystical crow (that is actually a Raven), to exact his revenge on the gang that murdered him.

He paints his face like sad Alice Cooper and refuses to listen to Joy Division, just covers. He murders Tin Tin (a knife guy) just for his long gothy duster, he murders Fun Boy and forcibly ejects heroine from her arms and tells her "Go be a good mom now" which actually works. (have I told you about our Lord and Savior Sting? He gave me the strength to get off drugs), he blows T Bird up dick first, and then comes for Skab? Scraap? Scooby? in a meeting of all of Detroits villains and just about kills them all.

He is supported by the most 90s little girl to have ever graced the screen, and I am here for it, and Officer Albrecht, who's played by Ernie Hudson but I like to call him Zeddemore: The Most Underrated Ghostbuster. The leader of the bad guys, who I cannot beleive wasn't played by Brad Dourif or Tom Waits, is pretty interested in the occult. He keeps his witchy girlfriend around and she makes him fun dishes like smoked eyeballs, and her main use is that she knows that the Crow is the Crows weakness. They set Tony Fucking Todd on the bird, and I guess you just have to hurt the bird and not kill it, and Eric loses his healing factor and other macabre undead powers.

The Crow, Jimmy the Raven, pecks out Dr. Girlfriends eyeballs, I honestly forget how Tony Todd gets offed, and Top Dollar gets Gargoyled (that is impaled on a gargoyle). Funnily enough that is more Gargoyle related impaling on screen then in the actual movie Gargoyle: Wings of Darkness where a Gargoyle is supposed to have impaled a guy.

The Benediction

Best Feature: Injustice League

In the Crow we have not only a set of super memorable villains but they are played by the bad guy all stars. John Polito as the most lowly of the bad guys as a kind of sleazy pawn shop owner who buys ill gotten gains. Tony Todd, who's size is really on display here, the freaking Candy Man is in this movie. T Bird is the head of Top Dollars goons and is played by David Patrick Kelly, you might know as the "Warriors Come Out and Play!!" bottle guy from the Warriors, or as Jimmy Horne from Twin Peaks, and of course Top Dollar himself is played by Michael Wincott. Wincott is not a particularly celebrated actor but has played villains effectively in Robin Hood, the Three Musketeers, and Dead Man.

Best Set Piece: Detroit Style Hot Dogs

The Set design of the Crow is perhaps one of it's most fantastic features. It's very moody and ethereal. It's just real enough to not take you out of the film, but fantastic enough to set mood and theme above realism. From Eric Draven's apartment, to the church where the final battle occurs they are all fantastic. I think that's why I really wanted to shine the spot light on a very minor set piece that would get nary a mention but just as effectively represents the qualities I was just talking about and that is the Maxi Doggs Hot Dog Stand, where a lot of the films exposition for audience surrogates takes place.

Worst Effect: Freeze Frame

At a few points in the movie the film makers made a strange decision to do these freeze frame transitions. I only noticed it twice in the movie where it was particularly stupid. I'm sure the film makers at the time thought it was a moody and atmospheric choice that highlighted the suffering that Eric Draven was going through, but it didn't age well. If you don't have the sensibilities of a goth girl from 1994 then it's very very hard not to laugh at just how self involved the movie is about it's super sadness.

Worst Feature: Tragic Accident

Solely based on the film itself, it is that very gothic and dated sensibility that hurts the Crow. The little sarcastic dance he does when he flees the police, quoting Edgar Allen Poe, and bowing to Albrecht. These affected behaviors that I'm sure seemed snarky and right on to the target audience only serve to make Eric Draven seem like an unbearable neck beard edgelord and not the troubled dark soul he's supposed to be. I'm sure at the time it seemed unique and gothy but that shit went out of style for good reason, people could see through it. It's a shame that the Crow himself was some of the cringiest parts of this movie now that I'm seeing it as an adult and not a 13 year old middle class boy with no real problems.

This however is not the low point of the movie. It's not news now and if you're reading some dudes review of The Crow on Tumblr then you probably already know the story. The worst thing about The Crow is that Brandon Lee was horrifically killed on set while filming this movie due to some negligible prop malfunctions. A series of unfortunate events that lead to the actor spending 6 hours in surgery fighting for his life before eventually passing. It was not a quick or painless death and it's really impossible to watch the movie without an appreciation for the fact that this kind of fun dark adventure was going to be a vehicle for Brandon Lee's career wound up taking his life. He was 28. I really wish I could have just bitched about the goofy goth stuff and moved on, but that's not the world we live in.

Best Effect: The Gargoyling

Maybe I should have called this best kill. But I'm not sure which it is. The slaying of Top Dollar at the Climax of the film was just super effective. The pointed wings impaling his chest and that horn coming out of his mouth, it was morbid and excellent and just fit the tone of the movie perfectly. I mean how many other movies can you say Cause of Death: Impaled on a Gargoyle.

Best Bird: The Raven

I tried very hard to look up the name of the bird that primarily performed in this movie and could not find anything. There was a Raven once upon a time called Jimmy the Raven, but that was in the 50s and I don't think birds live that long. There was a team of Ravens performing as the crow, they were chosen over crows for their larger size, and more imposing silhouettes. I just think it's so wonderful to see these often maligned birds get a chance to show off their talents. Corvids of all kinds are incredibly intelligent creatures. Im a sucker for animals, if you haven't already figured that out. I really liked seeing the ravens hit their marks, particularly the one whos job it was to drop the wedding ring into Sarah's hand at the end of the film. You can see that greedy little bastard do his trick and then look of camera at his trainer like "treat please!". It's very cute.

Best Actor: Top Dollar Performance

I'd love to take this opportunity to just put praise upon Brandon Lee, he truly gave everything for this role, but unfortunately with what was put to film we actually have very few character moments with Eric Draven. Stuff happens to him, and he does killings and fights. There's definitely some personality, but I felt like I walked away knowing almost nothing about who Eric Draven was. He was clearly a good dude but that and a few hobbies and a relationship and you don't really have a character yet. He's unfortunately not given a lot of acting to do, instead just relegated to stunts and action sequences. That were notably cool.

The bad guys in the Crow have a lot more character and among this who's who of character actors, Michael Wincott takes the cake. Hell he was standing next to Candyman himself, Tony Todd and still stealing the scenes.

Best Character: A Few Good Apples

Is the best character in The Crow really going to be the cop? The commissioner Gordon stand in? yeah, it is. Not to be political, but I don't like cops, but I guess in a world with magical birds and eyeball smoking I can suspend my disbelief and let Ernie Hudson be #1 cop dad. His character is really the heart of the film, since all Eric can do is brood and fight, we have to care about someone in this movie.

Best Sequence: Halloween Party

The best sequence of the movie is of course the scene where Eric Draven busts in on the Devil's Night party planning commission. I think Top Dollar brought Scrappy Doo there just so he could lure out the crow, knowing the baddest assholes in all of Detroit would be gathered it was likely that somebody was going to kill the beast, or if they couldn't at least Top Dollar could get a feel for his enemy. It's a bullet flying action sequence with a ton of weight. I can't put my finger on this all to common weightless third act problem that big budget super hero and action flicks have nowadays, but whatever that issue is, the Crow does not have that issue. From this point on the Climax feels earned and I am invested. For that reason, The Crow is honestly better in spite of its awkwardness, than many of the super hero movies out today.

Worst Sequence: My Guitar Gently Weeps

Speaking of brooding or fighting. The best sequence was fighting, the worst is brooding. I get that Eric was in a band or something, but didn't he have shit to do. It seemed like it was a cool idea for a shot, but for like a whole seen, watching somebody play an 80s guitar solo, that stood out so brazenly from the choices of music in the rest of the movie was extra corny. It felt like someone's( dad trying to relate to their kid. Oh you like Music. The Dresden Dolls eh? Oh man, then you're going to love Slash's Snake Pit!

Summary

The Crow is dated. It is iconic but I wonder how many of the people that hang that poster on the wall have watched that movie since they were kids. It's interesting how what i've liked and disliked about this film have changed so much sense I was a kid. It's a cheeseball fiesta. If you have matured at all beyond thinking that being sad is the same as being deep then you're going to like it a little less than you did when you were younger, but it is still solid. There's not much to hate on. I'd watch it over and over again. I was really afraid it would not hold up at all, but returning to The Crow was a completely positive experience.

Overall Grade: B

[hammeredalcoholic]

Pretty Face

Rohan/Reader

i just wanted to write for rohan, and the inspo struck me

rated: nsfw/18+

Fuck, it felt so good. 

Your fingers rubbed along your clit in harsh circles, causing your legs to jerk against the sheets below you. How long has it been since you’ve done this? 2 weeks? Maybe 3? 

You didn’t know, but it’s not like it mattered now. Your digits picked up the pace, causing a harsh breath slip from your lips. Fucking hell, you were sensitive today. 

There was a thought process that led to you being in this position. One that involved your boyfriend-- who was currently out of town, for one of his expositions. It’s not often that Rohan leaves, but when he does, it’s a total shock to your body.

You’ve grown used to nightly romps under the covers, holding each other close as he drove into your soaked core. As well as spontaneous sex against his work desk, when he’s a bit frustrated with his new manuscripts. 

Satisfying. Your sex life was very satisfying. 

But when he was gone-- even if it was just for a few days, still left you yearning. And when the image of Rohan’s pretty face between your thighs, your fingers threading through his hair and tugging slightly crossed your mind, well. One thing led to another.

Which meant you were spread across the shared king sized bed, legs open, furiously getting off to said picture. You were absolutely soaked, and positive that your fluid was staining the sheets below you. Fuck it, you thought, this was too good to give a damn. 

What you didn’t notice though, was the arrival of your boyfriend back home. Rohan thought that it would be nice to surprise you, so he decided to go with it. His exhibition could run itself. 

Unlocking the door, he stepped into the house. He almost expected you to flock to him, or at least be in the living room. That wasn’t the case, though, and he furrowed his brows. 

Oh. Maybe you were napping. 

Rohan made his way up the stairs, careful not to make too much noise, if you were sleeping. He walked down the hallway to the master bedroom, and cracked the door open. 

Or, you could be doing that. 

He was mildly surprised, seeing you spread out, fingers working yourself in a harsh manner. What caused you to get like this? Only one way to find out, he supposed. 

Stepping in more, he looked in your direction. You hadn’t noticed him just yet, and it looked like you were getting close to completion. Now’s the time. 

“HEAVEN’S DOOR!” 

You twisted your head to look over at the voice, only to be met with darkness. When you awoke, Rohan was in front of you, his hands placed on your thighs. 

“Mm, hello dear.” He spoke, letting his eyes roam over your body. 

“U-Uh, Rohan- I can explain-” You tried, only to be cut off. Rohan shook his head. 

“You want to see my ‘pretty face’ between your thighs, huh?” Oh fuck. That’s what that voice was. Of course Rohan used his Stand on you. You felt a hot blush climb up your neck and spread across your cheeks. 

“That can be arranged.” 

His words shocked you, but not as much as the kiss to your clit did. Gasping, you looked down at him. He had a smug look on his face, and continued to press soft kisses to your clit and outer lips. It was exactly what you wanted-- no. Needed. 

Rohan pushed your thighs up, letting your legs rest on his shoulders. His eyes gazed up at yours once more, before diving down and licking a wide stripe along your entrance. Your head slammed against the pillow behind you, a loud moan slipping from your lips. 

He continued, running a few more licks along you, before sliding up and suckling on your clit. You weren’t going to last long, due to your actions before he arrived. He was also really good with his tongue. 

Rohan lapped at you, tasting you thoroughly. He then dove his tongue inside you, his fingers coming down to toy with your clit. It was too much-- your hand flew forward, grabbing onto his dark green locks. 

“Oh fuck, Rohan-” You squeaked out, his eyes drifting up to look at your flushed face. He picked up his pace, his tongue thrusting in and out of you. You felt your legs shake hard, and your grip on his hair tightened. 

Rohan’s fingers rubbed against you deliciously, smooth circles that had you twitching under his touch. Your orgasm was approaching quickly, the coil in your abdomen curling in on itself. 

Your boyfriend could tell that you were dangerously close, and he pulled back slightly. Mumbling against your folds, his eyes full of lust. 

“Cum for me.” 

Crying out, you did, orgasm rushing over your body, sending your fluids across Rohan’s lips. He helped you ride it out, licking up your juice and slowing his fingers down. When you finally relaxed against the sheets, he pulled back. 

His hair was disheveled, his lips glistening with your orgasm and his spit. Cheeks flushed, and an obvious tent in his designer pants. It was definitely a good look on him, much like anything else. 

“Is that what you wanted?” He asked, his fingers running along his lower lip, collecting any remains, and sticking them in his mouth. You felt a shiver run down your back, and a new wave of arousal hit you. 

“Yes, but now I want more.” 

“Hm, that can also be arranged.” He chuckled, pinning you to the bed.

[dragonherder2030]

So I watched Raya and the Last Dragon-

I honestly was very disappointed with the movie as a whole. I LOVE dragons and main movies and media just doesn’t have much of them that I have seen. So when I saw that Disney was making a movie about and staring a dragon character, I got very excited. I had loved the design for Sisu when she was just a concept art

She was much more colorful and had a very different face, a more regional face. She is definitely more water dragony compared to the actual final draft design. And she is just overall prettier in my opinion.

Spoilers under this point

Another thing is the continuity and main logic of the movie. In the beginning of the movie it is practically about 15 minutes of exposition. It tells that apparently all the dragons are water dragons, every single one since they all look the same, but that there were multiple dragons in the past. These evil creatures made of human greed or whatever started attacking humans, and well I guess other things but the humans primarily. When attacked, they pass through the human and either take or freeze their spirit or something I don’t remember exactly, but the person becomes stone. So the dragons being the most powerful creatures in the world, they tried to fight the things. The dragons were also turned to stone, all but one, The Mighty Sisu. In the exposition it says that she compiled all her magic into the orb, and used it to destroy the things and turn everyone back from stone. Except the dragons. Do they ever explain why it didn’t turn the dragons back to alive? No it does not, it absolutely does not, but ho boy there is SO much more. Later in the exposition, the dragon gem gets broken into 5 pieces, one for each of the tribes. And they each possess a piece of the gem now. So, when the gem gets broken, all the evil creatures from the very beginning just, come back! This is never explained- nothing is ever explained in this movie it was just made for the funnies I GUESS. This movie feels like a really bad book adaption HONESTLY. And at the end of the movie when everyone comes back because it’s a kids movie, it’s just AHHGH everyone is happy now all the dragons come back and everything is dandy. But why didn’t the dragons come back in the beginning? The whole moral of the movie is “Trust good”. Seriously that’s it. And when they put the dragon gem back together at the end everyone is like “oh wow we need to trust each other and that’s how the magic will WoRk”. But explained earlier when we hear Sisu’s whole backstory is that when SHE did the magic fix she trusted her siblings the most that she had in that moment, SO TELL ME WHY DIDN’T IT WORK!!?? It makes no sense to me at least maybe I’m just missing something. But it annoys me so much, nothing makes sense in this movie. Another theory I have is that there were 3 writers. Each assigned to a seperate story arc, one to the beginning exposition thing, one to the middle main part, and one to the climax and final bits of the movie. The thing is, the writers only vaguely know what the past ones did XD.

The next problem I have is with the actual magic and formulation of dragons, as well as what the heck is up with the dragon gem. But don’t worry, I have at least 2 more problems with this movie. So as Sisu gets more and more of the dragon gem shards, she gains new powers. But do you know why? Because APPARENTLY when the gem broke into the 5 pieces, the magic of her individual siblings who gave their magic to the gem was separated perfectly. Ok that may not make much sense. But when we see Sisu’s backstory it shows that her oldest brother made the gem, then each sibling except Sisu put their special magic into the gem. So then, when it broke, the individual gem pieces only had the 1 type of magic in them? Excuse me what? That doesn’t make sense, if I make a cake, then I won’t cut it up and get only egg from one slice, then a bunch of sugar from another slice. It’s just- really bad and they could have fixed it by just- not having the siblings at all. They so easily could have been written out of the story, instead Sisu could have no magic when she is brought back, which she practically has none, her “magic” is that she is a strong swimmer. But then as she gets the pieces she gains back parts of her original magic, that would have been more indering then the siblings. Now the second part of this is the actual powers. Ok, which sounds like more of a power, being able to glow, or being able to fly around by walking on raindrops. The second one right? Well, ThEY aRe BoTh COsIdeReD MaGIc iN tHiS UniVErSe. All the powers that Raya aquires from the dragon gem pieces is being able to do the glow, being able to shape shift into a human, and being able to walk on the rain. Now, that isn’t even the part I’m the most mad about. At the end of the movie when all the dragons come back, THEY ALL CAN WALK ON THE RAIN. LIKE WHAT!? I THOUGHT THAT WAS THE OLDER BROTHER’S MAGIC TYPE! Do you get what I mean by this movie having no continuity? At the end of the movie, Sisu was killed by evil cat lady, and all the dragons come back walking on the rain and just- resurrect her. Ok, I guess that could be explained away as all the magic beings being magical, but I still don’t like how easily they did it. Yet another thing is that Sisu can make a bunch of magical smoke, well not magical but it’s really shimmery and thick, that’s not explained, she just can do it.

Let’s talk about the relationships in this movie. I hate them. No ones characters are developed on or improved except for maybe cat lady- I need to find her name somewhere, but except for Namarii is her name, her and Raya. Namarii’s big stitch is, I don’t even know just not being the most evil person? Either that or the same trust thing, which would mean that her and Raya have the same character arc. Raya in the beginning of the movie is explained to be the daughter of the chef of clan Heart, one of the most prosperous out of the 5 clans. They at the start of the movie had the dragon gem, and the father guy, he invited every other clan over to have a big feast or whatever. So when they get there, young Namarii, all this is happening when Raya is like, 9 I think, but Namarii and Raya become friends over fangirling for Sisu. Namarii has a necklace of Sisu that she gives to Raya. And side note, they act as though Sisu isn’t the SAVIOR OF THIER LANDS, but she’s some really good singer. Well I guess they have to connect to all those youngsters out there with an obsession and that rElATaBlE moment when you fInD AnOTheR oF tHiEr kInD. That just triggered me. But since Namarii is such a big fan of Sisu, Raya, after being shown to be VERY offensive about the idea of the other tribes coming, just decides to show Namarii the dragon gem! But uh oh, twist, Namarii is actually bad oh noooo and everyone comes up and starts to fight over the dragon gem. Then it shatters and the evil things come back. So Raya and her dad are trying to escape, her dad had been injured from fighting an arrow to the leg, but the things are repelled by water. So what does the dad do? He yeets the child into a river(they are on a bridge at this point) after having a minute long conversation with her. Like, could he not just tip himself off to? But hey we have to give them characters angsty backstorys amiright? It’s just so stupid the character motives. So like, Idk 12 years pass by or something since Raya is an adult now. She actually has a pretty emotional prayer type thing to Sisu when she is trying to resurrect her to save the world. This movie has a few ups that I will put at the end. So let’s talk about Sisu now, ho boy, she is the “oh everything will be fixed with hugs and kisses”. You know what this is, this is the same exact dynamic that Poppy and Branch went through during Trolls movie! The exact same dynamic! HECK Disney couldn’t even get original personalities. Sisu blindly trusting everything gets them into wacky situations and causes some conflict between Raya and Sisu but BARELY ANY. And Sisu just seems like- really innocent, she’s oblivious all the time. She’s this ancient beast and she just has the most generic personality and I loath it. Namanii is actually someone I liked. She seemed like the most real character until the very end, just, the blindly “oh everything is alright now and I’m fine with everyone now trauma doesn’t exist”. Also on that point, apparently trauma doesn’t exist in this world, because Sisu lost every single one of her siblings, and just, doesn’t show any sign of grieving or remorse she just doesn’t give a thought to them. Except for the backstory bit but she just doesn’t seem to care. Also just a side note, none of those side characters are developed at all and just there for practically comic relief. The whole resolution of the movie is them putting the gem together and then all “hugging” each other and wow look at that it worked. *inhales* and then when Sisu comes back, she has the most emotionally dead response to Raya, none of the character reuniting is good. You know, if you have seen storks, that near end montage where all the babies are brought to the people? Yeah, that was 100% better then the resolutions of Raya and the Last Dragon. One scene that ticked me off so much was when that ninja baby was reunited with her parents, the mom, oh my gosh, she looked as if she had just found an old purse she misplaced. She did not look- ah I can’t even put it into words just look up the clip to get it.

That’s all that I have to say about the movie, I probably have more somewhere but honestly I couldn’t put it into words. Now, you know, I have to give this movie a few good opinions. The movie looked amazing, great character design(except for the dragons I dispose them) and everything looks gorgeous. As well as the animal design, I wish I could have seen more animals honestly they all looked really interesting and unique.

Sorry this post was so long I just wanted to put my opinions out there.

[punz4lyfe]

Pokemon Journeys Episode 44. Let’s review:

1. There’s not really much to say on the Gigan. Garbodor vs. Dyna. Raboot fight. It was just one brief back-and-forth attack that took out Garbodor in only a few moves, which is understandable, given their current environment (i.e. don’t wanna destroy the giant rock with all the answers to our world-crisis problems). I was initially unsure on what to think of Goh’s victory, but honestly, it was a given. The dude he fought was just a basic grunt, and it’s been established SEVERAL times in the past that evil grunts are so fodder-esque, that any of Ash’s traveling companions are capable of taking them down with ease, so yeah. Also, Raboot totally threatened to crush the grunt after the fight and you can’t tell me otherwise. #thuglife

2. Dragonite, you are a pure, adorable flying machine.

3. A brief, yet nice moment of Goh’s character development was seen when he and Raboot charged straight through the grunts, just like Ash would in a situation like that. Good touch there. And I swear Raboot broke the neck of the grunt he kicked.

4. Leon pulling all the “screw you”s to Rose’s workers gives me life.

5. I just love the fact the TR is so used to encountering Legendaries in their career, they deliberately tried to capture Eternatus with a giant net!

6. Meowth’s Gigantamax scene was very well done. It did a great job in bringing a little semblance of fear in the atmosphere when he stopped talking after getting hit by Eternatus’ beam before transforming and turning on his friends. Mad props for emphasizing the seriousness of the arc, writers!

7. Eternatus hurt Dragonite. Now it must die.

8. The whole scene of Chairman Rose confronting Ash and Leon in the stadium was absolutely excellent. For starters, the music that played when Leon explained his purpose for Eternatus was deranged and cryptic, symbolizing his own twisted mindset. He is explaining all of this with a genuine smile, after all. But then the music became somber when Rose was explaining WHY he’s doing all of this. His dad apparently perished when working in the mines that fueled Galar’s energy when he was a CHILD. It really adds some sympathy to Rose, as you now see why he’s doing this, so that he can ensure no one will share the pain he once had, while going off unaware that his own plan would just cause as much pain to others, both human and Pokemon. Nicely done, writers! (and Rose had a father?!?!)

9. Were getting Ash vs. Rose next episode. Yaaaaaas!

10. Sonia adapting to Ash and Goh’s typical Leeroy Jenkins approach to things was awesome and cute. I was also hoping she would reveal a Pokemon in her possession when she stayed behind to fight off the guards until Raihan appeared. Like, maybe a Boltund as a reference to her Yamper in the Twilight Wings series. Plus, who doesn’t love Galar Mon debut appearances? But meh oh well.

11. Also.... HI RAIHAN!!!

12. Goh vs. Oleana.... which would basically be Raboot vs. Milotic.... Oooooh boy. Knowing how this arc is playing out, with the whole Hero Legend in mind and certain evolutions coming up, the winner of this battle next episode is pretty obvious... and it might not be done well. Buuuut I’ll just save this little tangent for next week’s review as well as a future Goh blog I’ve been planning on.

Overall, absolutely perfect episode! While the last two episodes of the arc were kinda exposition-y, this episode more than made up for it by keeping things going while explaining what had to be explained in a clear, yet brief manner. The action (minus the giant v. giant one at the beginning) was well-done and you can definitely feel the intensity growing and growing, which is greatly emphasized by the music and visuals! I’d give this episode a good 9.5/10!

still hoping for the innocent coalossal to return btw

[itisannak]

Single Dad!Calum x Preschool Teacher!Y/N (Calum Hood Fic, Part 2)

Summary: (Y/N) and Calum are about to create a big, happy family. That is if people from the past allow it (Smut / Unprotected Sex / Pregnancy Sex) (T.W: Pregnancy Complication / Hospital Stay) Part 2 to admittedly one of my best fics. I have been working on it since August 2019 (published April 2020), so I hold it in my heart very dearly. I hope you love it as much as you loved the first one. It is 21k words long, but definitely worth the read.  (Request) (Part 1: Single Dad!Calum x Preschool Teacher! (Y/N))

"You don't know the gender yet, do you?" Calum asks me, placing his hand on my lower stomach. There is no visible bump yet, nothing that gives away I am expecting, but surely my jeans feel a lot snugger. "Too early for that." I reply, placing my hand on top of his. "When?" He asks, his tone sounding a lot impatient. "Haven't you been through that before? With Joy? Because I honestly hoped for some guidance from you." I ask him, turning my head to look at him as I let a playful chuckle.

Calum looks at me somberly, shaking his head in denial. "We were too young... Nina didn't want me with her on the appointments, I didn't push on it, because, well, I was not ready to become a father. And neither was Nina to become a mother. So we both pretended that Joy wasn't about to come. But of course, Joy was coming and there wasn't anything we could do about it. We found out about the pregnancy when it was too late for an abortion, the doctor said it would be dangerous for Nina and we didn't want to risk it. We agreed that once Joy was born, we would give her up for adoption. We both had dreams, we both wanted to focus on our careers. Nina was supposed to be on a big TV show when we found out we were expecting. She lost her part, they didn't want a pregnancy plot for her character this early on, and she wouldn't be able to hide it for long. She blamed me for that, I blamed her. So, we shut each other out." He explains; he doesn't look at me as he speaks, certainly a bit embarrassed. I take his hand in mine, intertwining our fingers and bringing his hand to my lips, planting a soft peck on his knuckles. "What happened then?" I ask him, curious about what changed their plan.

"She gave birth alone. I was in practice all day when she went into labor, my phone was on silent. So, I found out a lot later, went to the hospital hours after. When I got there, Nina had already discharged herself, signed some AMA forms so the doctors had no other choice but to let her go. She left a note to one of the nurses. 'Didn't want her anyway. Do whatever you want.' word by word, just like that. The hospital had called Child Protective Services already. When I got to the nursery, Joy was with a lady, talking to the nurses about putting her in the system. I told them I am the father, that I was at work, and I didn't know her mother would be doing that. The lady smiled at me, patted my shoulder, and asked me if I wanted to hold her. I nodded and they handed me a swaddled bundle, barely bigger than a toy baby doll. And I looked down on her... Do you believe in love at first sight?" He asks me and I nod; of course, I do, he made me believe. "I didn't... Until that moment. Cause when I looked at her, my heart stopped. It was like she became the center of my universe, instantly. I called Luke that night, told him to go to Target and pick onesies, diapers, bottles. We hadn't bought anything for her. He picked them up and came over to the hospital, not saying anything, not asking anything. He stayed with Joy, watching over her as I called my mom. I told her 'Hey mom, you are a grandma now'. She asked me when the baby was due. I told her she was already here. I told her everything. She yelled at me over the phone. Then she took a plane here. Mali came over the day after my mom. We took Joy home after 4 days. I just had a basket for her, so she slept there until we got a decent crib. I just sat on the couch, looking at the door, waiting for Nina to walk in. I would have accepted her back as if nothing happened. She didn't. I didn't see her again before the court, and that was just for a spare moment..."

"Court?" I ask softly. "Custody battle. The case was easy. You see, child abandonment is not really applauded. And then came the hard part. I had to tell the world I have a daughter, whom I was raising by myself, without dragging her mother through the mud." "They didn't know?" I ask surprised, trying to wrap my head around the fact that they could keep it a secret. "No one but our closest friends knew. It was way easier back then to hide from people in public. My parents didn't forgive me for the next 3 months. My mom only talked to Mali while helping me." He sounds hurt; I can tell he hasn't gotten over it. "How did she forgive you?" I ask him and he sighs, dragging his breath. "I broke down crying in front of her. I was sleep-deprived and alone. She wasn't talking to me. So I broke down. I told her everything, about the adoption plans, about the note... She hugged me and I slept the full night, for the first time in 3 months." "Must have been hard." "Those were the hardest 3 months of my life. After that, Joy and I got used to each other, and she became the core of my existence, my whole world. So, I didn't mind staying awake or cleaning vomit and poop all day. Of course, I had tons of help. Everyone chipped in as much as humanly possible." Calum explains.

I feel my eyes getting heavy; I get so sleepy, so easily lately. "Baby, do you mind if we go to sleep? Peanut is making me sleepy." I ask and he nods, smiling softly. "Want me to leave?" He asks, pecking on my forehead. "Don't you dare! I said WE go to sleep. Don't let me sleep another night alone." I pout and he hums. "Let's go then. I am tired of all the exposition too." He fakes a yawn as I get up.

"You are hogging the covers..." Calum whispers sleepily. It is 4 in the morning and I am trying to find a comfy position; I am not even big, but I am used to sleeping on my stomach, and now I am too scared to do that. I turn to look at Calum, admiring his body, naked and sprawled on the bed. "Or maybe, I like you better naked and uncovered. That's why I am pulling at the covers." I reply, crawling back on my pillow. "Oh, really?" He sounds intrigued, making me scoff. "You look so much better naked." I reply and he chuckles. "You look so much better naked as well. Especially underneath me." He comments, smirking slightly. "That is exactly what I was thinking." I reply as he moves to hover above me.

He grips on my jaw before he leans in for a kiss, making my legs wrap around his waist almost instinctively, earning a chuckle of pleasure from him as he brings his hand to hold onto my thighs. "I'll just pull those panties to the side..." He mumbles, lowering his hand from my jaw to the hem of my underwear. "And then?" I ask, feeling already hot and heavy with need; I love these pregnancy hormones. "Then I will thrust inside you and press my body on yours. And make you feel so good. That's a promise. So please, let me pull those panties to the side." He sounds needy as well, his voice almost breaking at the end. "What the fuck are you waiting for?" I ask, smirking at him playfully.

He slips his finger inside the hem of my panties, pulling them to the side messily as he tries to free his cock. I scoot lower, spreading my legs more to give him better access. He goes in slowly, closing his eyes as I wrap around him. It's been so long since the last time. So, so long. This feels strangely new, almost like our first time. "Are you ok?" He asks me, stopping for a second. I nod my head, biting my bottom lip and closing my eyes. "You feel so good inside me. You have no idea how much I craved this, how long I have lusted over this." I moan, digging my nails into his forearm. "Trust me, baby, I do." He whispers, leaning in to kiss me. He changes the rhythm, picking up on force but still going slow. He goes as deep as it goes, pressing against my spot as I roll my hips a little, enhancing the tightness I feel on my stomach. I moan against his lips, bringing one hand behind his head to deepen the kiss.

We move together, the bucking of my hips meeting his thrusts. I gasp, lowering my lips to his chin. "God, I need all of you." He whispers, his breath fanning against my skin. I moan, feeling his veins throbbing on my walls. The feeling doesn't fade away as we move, making my head blurry and clouded. "You are my favorite high. Nothing else feels this good..." He mumbles, moving fast and forcefully, giving me all I want without me even asking. "Good... Cause I want you to be totally hooked on me..." I moan, feeling his breath bring chills to my skin. "You are so fucking beautiful... So fucking beautiful..." He moans deeply, the sound coming from deep in his throat. I place my hand on his chest, right over his heart, feeling it beat fast. "Your hand is a bit cold. Are you cold, princess?" He asks me, stopping for a moment and looking at me worriedly. "I am fine. Keep going!" I beg, scratching my nails over his skin. He leans down to kiss me, taking my bottom lip between his teeth and pulling it back a little. I whimper at the sensation, closing my eyes as he starts thrusting in again. "You like that, baby? You like it when I do that?" He asks, sighing a little as he finds a comfortable angle. My whole body jolts back as I take him, completely losing control of my reactions. "I am so close..." I whimper, closing my eyes shut and focusing only on how good this is. "Hi so close, I am Calum." He replies; I know this is supposed to be horrible and throw me off the mood, but his voice sounds so sexy as he struggles to catch his breath and let out the words. "You are a fucking jackass..." I groan. "Yeah yeah, I know you fucking love me, sweetheart." He replies confidently, thrusting inside me quickly yet powerfully. "You are lucky I do..." I gasp for air, grasping onto his arms. "You are pulsing around me. Wanna cum, princess?" He asks me, smirking cockily. "Yeah, act like you haven't been throbbing inside me since the first second... Wanna cum, papi?" I ask him, mirroring his smirk.

He leans down, taking my face in his palms before he kisses me. I reach between our bodies, bringing a hand to play with my clit, stroking my fingertip over the bundle softly. I feel my body jolting every time my finger syncs his thrusts, sending my mind further down the rabbit hole. "Your face is so pretty when you get close... Holy fuck..." He moans; I adore it when I hear him moan, or make these euphoric sounds he makes. I cum after a couple of powerful thrusts, arching off the mattress and holding onto his shoulders. "That's it, baby... Squeeze around me..." He sounds husky, letting me know he is close too. "Don't stop talking. I love your voice..." I almost beg him. "Oh, you do? I had no clue, angel." He teases me, stroking his hand down my arm, gripping tightly around my wrist, before he lowers it to replace my fingers with his and stroke my clit, prolonging my orgasm.

With my other hand, I tug at his hair, pulling on his locks softly. He opens his mouth ajar, looking at me a little shocked, but soon shutting his eyes and humming, pleased by the way my fingers interlock into his messy hair. "Pull harder, baby." He begs, voice clouded with lust. I follow his request, pulling at his hair as he fucks me for a little longer, thrusting sloppily until he hits his high and cums inside me, screaming and cursing as he reaches his peak. He collapses on his back next to me on the bed, gasping and smiling. "Yeap, I wanna do this for the rest of my life..." He comments, sighing happily. "Good, I want you to do me for the rest of my life..." I chuckle, turning so I can lay my head on his chest. He scoffs a little but reaches down to take my hand in his and bring it to his lips.

(Calum's POV) I hold (Y/N)'s hand as I unlock the door of my house, feeling her grip on my hand tense up as the moment she will see Joy again approaches. "You'll be alright. We will be alright." I remind her, letting her walk in. Giggles are heard from the living room, signifying that Joy is in there. (Y/N) walks ahead slowly, but confidently and I follow right behind her, hoping for a good reaction from Joy. "(Y/N)..." I hear her gasp, followed by paddling on the floor. "Hi, bunny. I've missed you so much..." (Y/N) says, kneeling to hug her. "I've missed you too. Is your sister ok?" Joy asks, looking at (Y/N) with her big eyes. "She is so much better. And she is so, so sorry that she took me away from you. But I promise I am not leaving again." (Y/N) almost tears up as Joy reaches to stroke her cheek. "It is ok. I am glad she is healthy."Joy replies softly. "Joy, baby. You are too precious." (Y/N) coos, hugging her close. She tries to pick her up but I place a hand on her shoulder to stop her. "Yeah, I probably shouldn't." She comes back to her senses, kneeling back down. Joy looks at us with knitted eyebrows, finding it weird. "My back hurts a bit. I was sleeping on my sister's couch..." (Y/N) covers it up quickly, making Luke, who has been watching us from the couch, chuckle.

(Y/N) chuckles as well, getting up to greet him. Luke hugs her, sighing softly. "I am so sorry." He mumbles, stroking her back softly. "It is in the past. We are all good now." (Y/N) responds with her soft, calming voice. "Enough pity party... We should all go out for lunch..." I suggest, picking Joy up and pressing a kiss on her cheek. "I have to go back home, I am sorry." Luke replies and I nod. "It's alright. Maybe dinner tonight. With everyone." (Y/N) suggests and Luke hums. "See you tonight then." He smiles, moving towards me to leave a kiss on Joy's head. "See you tonight, uncle Lu..." Joy waves him off, grinning at him.

"What should we do now, Joy?" (Y/N) asks and Joy presses a finger on her chin, pretending to be thinking hard. "I wanna see (Y/N). I missed her." Joy pouts at me, reaching for (Y/N). I let her down and she runs to (Y/N), who scrunches down to hug her. "What should we do?" She asks her, stroking her hair off her face. "We go play with the toys daddy brought me from tour." Joy cheers, making (Y/N) giggle. "Actually, Joy... Before you go, there is something we need to talk about." I state, taking a seat on the couch and patting the cushion softly.

(Y/N) stares at me a little worriedly. Joy sits next to me, waiting for (Y/N) to do the same before turning to look at me, giving me her full attention. "You know that (Y/N) and I are a couple, right?" I ask, already feeling jittery about the conversation. "Yes." Joy is looking at me weirdly, almost mimicking the look on (Y/N)'s face. "Well, there is a point when you are a couple with someone that you think about living with them. And before I left for tour, I talked with (Y/N) about living together. And she wants to... And I want her to come live with us. So, what I want to ask you is, would you be ok if (Y/N) moves in with us? So she starts living with us?" I ask Joy, whose face lights up as I explain it to her. "Yes... That would be awesome. When are you moving here with us?" Joy asks (Y/N) who is on the verge of tearing up. "I have brought some stuff here and I can move in this week if it is what you want." (Y/N) suggests as Joy hugs her. "Yes... And we will have sleepovers like when daddy was gone, right?" She asks and (Y/N) scoffs happily. "All the time. We will kick daddy out of the bedroom and have it all for ourselves." (Y/N) cheers, making Joy giggle. "Hey, I can be part of the sleepovers as well..." I protest playfully. "Sorry, daddy. Girls only." Joy giggles as I gasp. "Duke, attack them." I shout, leaning towards them and tickling Joy who laughs maniacally. Duke runs on the couch, barking as he tries to jump on top.

I climb up the stairs to Joy's room to announce that the food is ready. Opening the door, I find them sitting on the floor, dolls sprawled in front of them while Joy sets up the dream house. (Y/N) is dressing the dolls up, talking with Joy about the scenario they are going to put the dolls in. They are both glowing with happiness, giggling as they chat. I lean against the door frame, gawking at them. This is everything I've wanted my life to lead to, everything I've wished I could give Joy. "Girls, food is ready." I announce, making Joy fuss over it. "We've just started playing." Joy protests, but stands up. "We will continue after eating. Go wash up." (Y/N) assures her, before Joy rushes out of the room.

I walk to (Y/N), helping her get up from the floor as she struggles a little. "How are my babies?" I ask, placing a hand on her belly. "Shush... Joy might hear." (Y/N) scolds me but I scoff it off. "She won't. Tell me how is the baby..." I peck on her forehead, hugging her to my chest. "We are both fine. You don't have to worry." "I do need to. Do you need anything? Maybe you should take a nap." I suggest and she chuckles. "I am fine, Cal. Are you going to be like that for the next 27 weeks?" She asks me with a chuckle. "Yep... I need to make sure all my loves are ok." I reply, tilting her chin up to kiss her. "You are going to be the best baby daddy..." She mumbles against my lips, wrapping her arms around my neck. "I promise you that..." I reply, bringing my lips to her nose.

(Y/N's POV) "You are nervous..." I state the obvious, watching Calum as he drives to my parents' house. "Shouldn't I? 'Hello, sir. Nice to meet you. I have been dating your daughter for almost 2 years and this is the first time I am meeting you. Oh, I also got your daughter pregnant, surprise...'" He sounds panicked, scoffing sarcastically. "My parents are nice people. They are going to adore you." I reply. Truth be told, I really don't know how they are going to react to meeting Calum, let alone when we are going to tell them about the pregnancy. "What if they don't? What if they hate me?" He asks me, pulling over and turning to look at me. "They are not going to hate you, bub. But if they do, there is not much they can do to change the fact I am utterly and head over heels in love with you. And that I am having a family with you. They will have to suck it up and deal with it." I reply, stroking my thumb over the knuckles of his right hand. "You are in love with me..." He teases me playfully, softening a little. I roll my eyes as I rest my back against the seat, shaking my head from side to side. "Hood, take a look at me... I have a baby inside me, your baby. Our baby... And I have been with you for nearly 2 years, and I still look at you like you are God's gift to humanity. There is not a doubt I am in love with you, more than anyone will ever be in love with someone else." I reply, intertwining our hands together. "Damn it... I guess you are right." He side-smirks, getting back on the road. "Do you think Luke will be alright watching Joy the whole weekend?" I ask, relaxing back on my seat as he starts driving again. "He is going to be fine. Sierra is with him, they make a pretty good team." He assures me, focusing on the road. "They do, huh?" I chuckle, placing a hand on my stomach, which is now sticking out just a little bit.

I ring on the doorbell, holding Calum's hand tightly. He looks composed, almost ready for what is to come. I hope this goes well, I hope they see him the way I do. "Hi, come on in. Welcome." My mom greets us, smiling brightly at Calum. "Hi. It is such a pleasure to meet you. Thank you for having me over to your house..." Calum tries to woo my mom, who is scanning him from head to toe. "The pleasure is all ours. Finally, we will get to meet our daughter's boyfriend, after so long. Let's get straight to the table, your father is waiting for us..." She guides us in, while I take Calum's hand in mine. "Are you ok?" I ask him and he nods, discretely placing a hand on the low of my stomach. "Are you?" He asks me and I nod, leaning my head on his shoulder for a split moment. "There they are..." My dad says sarcastically, standing up from his chair to greet us. "It is an honor to finally meet you, sir." Calum reaches to shake my dad's hand, making my father nod approvingly. "Well, it was about time, don't you think? If we delayed this a little more, I would have started believing that you are imaginable." He jokes, sitting back on his chair. Calum gulps thickly but nods his head as he pulls my chair out for me. "I agree, sir. And I apologize it took so long. Work obligations, you see." Calum mumbles as he takes a seat next to me. "Work obligations... What do you do for a living?" My father asks while my mom begins serving the food. "I am a musician. I play bass and do vocals for my band. I also write music and lyrics... All of that... We have been touring for the past few weeks..." Calum explains, smiling at my mom who is serving him some veggies. "Musician... I see... Well, I guess it is nice to follow your passion. What did you study?" My father asks him, already looking at us weirdly. I look at him with wide eyes, feeling that poor Calum is under interrogation. "I didn't go to college, sir. My band had a major take off when I was 16, so I had to drop out and follow that path. Luckily, it worked very well for us." Calum replies confidently. My dad cocks an eyebrow, the room filling with silence. "His band is one of the top ones in the world right now. They have become a household name." I chime in, rubbing my thumb over his hand in solidarity. "Well, let's drink to that, then..." My father raises his glass, prompting us to do the same. We cling them together, and while everyone sips their wine, I pretend to take a small gulp, not wanting to ruin the surprise yet.

"How often do you go on tour?" My mom asks while we begin eating. "Depends on the releases of music. Usually, we have a big tour after the release of an album. Then we do some promotional tours and interviews for new singles. There is not a stable pattern, but mostly, we tour more than 3 months a year." He explains with a smile. "That must be tiring..." My mom sighs sympathetically. "It is not as bad as it sounds..." Calum chuckles happily. "How did you two meet, again?" My father asks me, cutting a piece of steak. "I was his daughter's teacher..." I mumble hesitantly. "You have a daughter!" My dad chokes on his food lightly, making me close my eyes and brace myself for what is to come. "Yes, Joy... She is 6 and she is the light of my life. She adores (Y/N), which has been a breath of fresh air." Calum replies, tensing a little. "So, you were married? (Y/N), did you get between a family?" My mom panics, looking at me with terror. "I was not married, no. I am a single parent. Your daughter didn't come between no one..." Calum chimes in quickly, trying to defend me. "Jesus... You are dating a single father of an ex-student of yours, who travels the world for a living and lives his rock star life while you stay behind, taking care of his child, whose mother God only knows how and where she is. And that, if she is still alive. God, I thought you were smarter than falling for good looks and money..." My mom snaps, making everyone gasp. "Mom..." I protest, glaring at her. "Did you just accuse me of murdering my ex-girlfriend?" Calum asks confused. If anything, it is comical that my mother has just bluntly accused him of murder. "You are ruining your potential! Did you break up with Matt for him?" She asks, the word him coming out with disgust. "No, mom. Matt and I broke up months before getting together with Calum. And you know, I would break up with Matt a million times in order to get what I have with Calum..." I reply, patience running flimsy thin. "You were always such a fool. You think he is in love with you, but in a couple of months, he is going to get bored of you and find someone his range, and you will be left alone, with your memories and your bruised feelings, thinking you have lived the greatest love story there is, but you will be wrong." My mom obviously becomes overly dramatic, making my blood boil in my veins. "Cal, let's go. Obviously, they don't care about actually getting to know you and finding out what a great man you are, nor how happy you make me, so we are leaving." I say calmly, standing up from my seat. Calum takes my hand in his, trying to stop me. "(Y/N), baby, it is ok..." He mumbles but I shake my head no. "No, we are leaving. I am not going to stay here and be disrespected by my parents and listen to them degrade the person I love... I just hope they get their heads together before their grandchild is born." I let the cat out of the bag before Calum stands up to follow me. "For what it's worth, I really love her. And I will never get bored of her, And I do hope you are part of our child's life..." He states before we move to the door to get out of here.

"I am so sorry. I never thought they would react like that..." I mumble as we get in the car. "It is alright, baby. I was hoping they would like me, but I guess they need more time. Are you ok? You seemed more upset than I would like you to be." He asks, getting in the car and helping me buckle up. "I am fine, really. They will get around to accepting you, especially now that there is a child involved. They will look you up, for sure... They will see what an amazing dad you are, how much you love Joy, how much you love me. They will get to see you for the amazing person you are and they will regret doubting you, I promise that." I try to assure him, hoping that my words will give him some ease. "I know they will, baby." He smiles turning the engine on.

"Would you look at that... Look who finally looks pregnant... Hi there, baby bump." Calum announces as he enters the shower cabin. I rub the loofah over my belly that now pokes out enough so everyone knows that something is up. "Hey, daddy... Came just in time." I cheer, turning around to place a kiss on his neck. "In time for what, princess?" He asks me, an eyebrow cocked up and a stupid smirk playing on his lips. "In time for my doctor's appointment. Quick, shower, and we are off." I remind him, "We have plenty of time until then..." He mumbles, wrapping his arms around my waist. "No, we don't..." I giggle and he groans. "Quick shower and we are off..." He mumbles with a sigh. "I told my boss today... She said that I have to inform the students and parents myself." I sigh as I rinse myself off. "Or, you can tell them nothing... At least not until we tell Joy and I find a way to deal with it getting public." He suggests; he sounds too worried, anxious about telling the world "I wasn't going to tell anything until we tell Joy... But we have to do it soon. I am getting bigger and bigger by the day... You said it yourself, I look pregnant. Joy is smarter than me and you, combined... She is already asking me if I am ok every time she hears me throw up and seeing me exhausted all the time." I state and he nods. "I was thinking we could tell her on Christmas morning. Get her something that says 'world's greatest big sister'... It would be cheesy and cute." He suggests, stroking my arm with his thumb. "I don't think we have until Christmas... I am already showing..." I reply and he nods. "Tonight then... We will order from her favorite place and tell her she is having a baby brother or baby sister..." He sounds anxious about it, even worried a little. My stomach drops at his uneasiness, mind flying to the worst-case scenario, panicking over the possibility of hurting Joy's feelings. "Tonight, then." I nod, pecking on his cheek.

"I checked your labs, (Y/N)... They are spotless. Good job. Seems like they are taking great care of you." My doctor comments, closing the file with my labs. "I am being treated like literal royalty." I wink at Calum who squeezes my hand. This is his first time ever at the OBGNY, so he looks at us nervously. "How is your morning sickness?" She asks me. "It's better than before. I only get sick when I smell something I don't like nowadays." I state and she nods. "That's good... You'll get nauseous less and less as you progress. Now, wanna go take a look at your baby?" She asks, looking at Calum who nods excitedly. "We are finding out the gender today, right?" He asks, making the doctor giggle softly. "Well, if the kiddo is sitting right, we will..." She replies, guiding us into the exam room.

I lay on the bed, raising my blouse, and lowering my pants slightly, prepping myself for the ultrasound. "Oh, you have quite the bump..." She coos softly, getting the bottle of gel. "The bump is normal, right?" Calum asks, taking a seat on the chair by the bed. "Well, every bump is different. (Y/N) has a healthy weight for how far she is, so we will have to see the baby's measurements and tell for sure... But she has an average bump, I would say..." The doctor replies, squirting the gel on my belly. "Now, let's take a look at peanut..." She focuses on the screen. "We have a very healthy heartbeat. And we are moving perfectly... You will feel kicks soon, maybe in the next couple of weeks..." She announces and I nod. "Any signs of deficiencies? Osteogenesis Imperfecta? Down Syndrome?" I ask, perking my head up to look at the screen. "(Y/N), this is not a Grey's Anatomy episode... You are healthy, and your baby is healthy... We have no reason to worry, everything seems normal." She assures me, taking the baby's measurements. "Your baby is as big as an avocado. And if I turn the wand a little..." She mumbles, moving the instrument and looking at the screen, enhancing the picture. "You said you want to know the gender, right?" She asks us, making us nod in unison. "Well, it looks like a baby girl is growing in there..." She replies cheerfully. I squeal, looking at the blob-like image on the screen. "Looks like I am doomed to be surrounded by gorgeous women my whole life..." Calum sighs happily. I turn to look at him, finding him smiling down at me. "Congratulations you two..." She smiles at us as Calum leans down to peck on my nose.

"I am ready to tell her." Calum states as we drive back home, a little black t-shirt that reads 'Best Big Sister Ever!' resting in a gift bag on my lap. "Good..." I chuckle, stroking my bump softly. Calum quickly brings a hand to my stomach, rubbing his thumb over it. "I can't believe we are having a girl..." He sighs, shaking his head. "You wanted a boy, didn't you?" I ask. "A boy would be nice, yeah... But holy fuck, a girl is the best thing ever..." He sounds excited, a smile stretching all over his face. "How do you think Joy will react?" I ask him, biting my lip. "Honestly, she always asked for a sibling and she is jealous of her friends who have ones, so, I think she will take it pretty well. Plus, she is obsessed with you, so..." "I guess she will take it pretty well."

"Joy, food is ready..." Calum shouts as we finish setting the table. The gift bag rests underneath the chair Calum will be sitting, so he can give it to Joy during dinner. She runs to the table, Duke skipping behind her. "Spaghetti and meatballs." Calum replies, pointing to the platter. "Yum..." She screams, picking her fork. "And cheesecake for dessert..." I sing and her face lights up. "Yes..." She cheers excitedly while twirling her fork in the spaghetti.

We eat silently, enjoying the food for a little while until Calum clears his throat and reaches for the bag. "Joy, we got you a little gift..." He announces, earning her attention. "A gift? What is it?" She asks excitedly. "You'll see... Open it." He hands her the bag, which Joy tears apart instantly. "It's a t-shirt. Can you read what it says?" He asks, taking my trembling hand in his. Joy nods, unfolding the t-shirt and scanning it with her eyes. "Best Big Sister Ever...?" She asks unsure, looking at us confused. "Joy, (Y/N) is pregnant. We are having a baby. In a few months, you'll have a baby sister." Calum explains, with a smile spreading on his lips while leaning to stroke her cheek. But Joy dodges him, frowning as she throws the t-shirt on the chair next to her and hops off. "Joy." Calum looks at her with wide eyes, sighing at her reaction as my heart drops to my stomach. "I am not hungry." She shouts as she stomps away. "Joy Luna Hood... Come back here so we can talk." Calum says calmly. "Don't want to..." She replies, going up the stairs and leaving us staring at each other in fear. Calum rubs his temples, blinking a couple of times before he takes a breath and gets up from the table. "I'll talk to her." He states heading towards the stairs.

I sit on my spot for a few seconds before I decide to follow him to her room, but let him go in alone, staying outside as I don't want to bring anyone in a hard position. "Joy..." Calum knocks on her door before entering but receives no response. "Joy, baby... I thought you wanted a baby sister..." Calum says softly. I hear Joy sniffle, signaling she was crying. "I do..." She mumbles. "Why did you react like that then, baby?" He asks her; I hear the bed shuffle indicating he is taking a seat on it. There is silence in the room until Calum breaks it by sighing. "Why are you crying, princess?" He asks softly. "Will (Y/N) leave us like my mom left?" She asks hesitantly; my heart breaks into a million pieces as she brings the words out of her little head and into reality. I can barely draw a breath, a knot resting on the back of my throat as I fight to keep tears from spilling from my eyes. "Joy, who told you that?" Calum asks shocked. "I heard you say it." She replies, sniffling her nose. I press my hand on my mouth, trying to drown my sobbing. "My love, I can promise you that (Y/N) won't leave us. I promise that. She loves us so much... She loves you more than anything...." Calum replies.

"But the baby will come and she will love the baby, not me." She protests. "No, baby. She will always love you." "But... She won't. Because she will be the baby's mom and not mine, so she won't love me anymore." Joy's voice breaks and I can hear her sob. I freeze, feeling sorry for all the thoughts that are eating away her little mind. "I promise she will continue loving you with all her heart, baby." Calum assures her. I feel tears rolling down my face and I try to sob silently, avoiding making Joy aware that I was eavesdropping.

Calum comes out of the room looking like a total wreck. "How much of it did you hear?" He asks me as we walk downstairs. "All of it... I hate this woman, I hate that she made Joy doubt me loving her. I hate that what she did is eating Joy's mind away, filling her with so much distrust. I hate her..." I cry out, making Calum pull me in for a hug and press my head on his chest... "Shush, baby... I know, I know... But she has zero power over us now. And Joy just needs time and she will see that nothing will change." Calum mumbles, pecking on the top of my head. "I know I am not her mom. And I will never be the one who brought her in this world... But I love her as mine, Calum." "I know, love. She will get around it too..." He assures me.

Calum cleans up the table, rejecting any of my offers to help. He has me seated on the couch, multiple cushions supporting my back as Duke lays on top of my lap, head propped against my stomach. I think he knows there is a resident there. "(Y/N)?" I hear Joy's little voice from the stairway. "Yes, darling?" I ask, averting my gaze to her. There is pin-dropping silence into the house, to the point where not even a breath is heard, only Joy's feet shuffling on the floor. She climbs on the couch, approaching me a little hesitantly; her hair falls messily, reminding me of her father's whenever he keeps his hair untamed for a while, and she looks sleepy, rubbing her eyes softly as she rests on the couch. Calum is standing at the end of the kitchen, looking at the whole exchange. "You have a baby in your belly now?" She asks me and I nod, running my fingers through her hair. "And it is my sister?" She asks me again and I hum, smiling at her softly. "Yes... And she is as big as an avocado right now..." I reply and she buzzes in interest. "Can I touch your belly?" She asks shyly. "Of course." I reply happily, sitting a little better and moving Duke from my lap, so she can place her hand on my stomach. She does it very softly, feeling my stomach slowly. "When will she get out of your belly?" She asks me, leaning closer to me. "In 22 weeks... That's in almost 6 months." I reply and she gasps. "That long?" She asks me. "Yeah... But she will start moving and getting bigger soon... And she will be able to hear us through my belly, so you can talk to her if you want..." I state and she nods vigorously. "Listen, Joy... I know you are worried that I will stop loving you when the baby comes. But I promise I will always love you. I know I am not your mother. I know that... But I wish I was, with all my heart. I wish I had brought into this world such an amazing child... I love you with all my heart and I would do anything for you, and that will never change, no matter what." I find the courage to say to the child, who nods and sniffles, bringing her pinkie up in the air. "You promise that?" She asks and I chuckle at her innocence. "I pinky promise that..." I peck on her forehead, hugging her tightly.

"You are going to be such an amazing mother..." Calum whispers in my ear as we cuddle on the bed, one of his hands carefully draped over my stomach. "Why, thank you very much... You are an amazing dad already..." I reach down to touch his hand that strokes my bump. "Well, thank you very much... Honestly, though, you handled Joy better than I ever would..." He places a kiss on the back of my neck. "No, you handled it the best way possible... She just needed to hear that from me too." "What did she tell you when you tucked her in?" He asks me softly. "She asked me if the baby is going to call me mom. And I told her 'yeah'. And she asked me if she can call me mom as well." I reply and he gasps. "(Y/N), I am so sorry. I know it was probably awkward for you..." He is quick to apologize, even though there is nothing he needs to do that for. "Cal... I told her that it would be an honor. But we would have to ask you first..." I turn my head to look at him. "I don't mind if you don't either." He states, pursing his lips. "I already told you... I would be honored." I reply and he coos. "I really fucking love you so fucking much..." He sighs happily, turning my head enough to kiss my lips.

"What time is daddy coming home?" Joy asks as she enters the kitchen, holding her bunny by the hand. I chuckle and leave the wooden spatula against the pot, kneeling to her height. "He said he is going to be a bit late, hun." I reach closer to stroke her cheek. She pouts slightly but nods her head defeated. "Why the long face, baby?" I ask her, mirroring her pout. "I am hungry. And I know we have to wait for daddy to come back before we eat." She replies. I hum, picking her up and setting her on the counter. "Well, the baby is hungry too. So, I think we should have a snack." I state, walking to the fridge to find something to snack on. "How do you know when the baby is hungry?" She asks me as I grab some carrots from the fridge. "She is always, hungry. She never stops asking for food." I joke, giggling softly at the end of the sentence. I wash the veggies and peel them off, cutting them into little sticks, handing one to Joy and keeping one for me.

"Are you excited about Christmas this year?" Joy asks me, catching me off-guard. "I am, I really am. I am excited about spending them with you and daddy. And Dukey, of course. I am very excited that I will get to see you at your Christmas recital, and your Christmas play. And I am excited about all the yummy food." I bop her nose as she crunches on her carrot. "Are you excited about Christmas, Joy?" I ask her and she nods. "I am. But I really wish the baby would be with us for Christmas." She replies and I hum. "Well, she will be with us next Christmas. For now, she is just listening to us through my belly and kicking excitedly." I reply, handing her another carrot. "She is kicking?" She asks surprised. "Yeap, but very softly. I have to be very concentrated to feel it. I promise though, when she kicks, when she starts kicking really strong, you will be the first to feel it." I chuckle, going back to cooking. "How does she fit in your belly?" She asks me. "She is not very big yet... And she is all curled up inside my stomach, so she fits better." I explain and she hums. "Do you need help?" She asks me, taking the last stick of carrot ad snapping it in half, offering me one of the two halves. "No, baby. I am fine." I smile at her. "Daddy told me that you will get tired as the baby grows and you will need my help." She states, biting on the carrot. "Well, daddy was not wrong. But for now, I am ok, baby." I smile at her, turning off the stove. "I can set the table and you can go sit, mommy." She whispers that last word under her breath. I smile at her, leaning to peck on her forehead and help her get off the counter. "Or, we can both go cuddle on the couch and wait for daddy to be back. And when he gets home, we can eat on the island, so no one will have to set the table..." I suggest and she nods. "Can Dukey come as well?" She asks me and I hum. "Of course. Let's go." I take her hand in mine.

"Wait. I want to bring you a blanket for the belly. So the baby won't be cold." She pulls away from me, running to her room. I smile at how kind she is, making my way to the couch. "There... Now the baby will be all warm..." Joy claps her hands, covering my belly with the fuzziest pink blanket I have ever seen. "Should we watch a movie?" I ask, stroking her hair as she leans on me. "Yes... Moana?" She asks and I hum in approval. "Let me go put it on." I try to get up but she places her hand on top of mine, stopping me from moving. "I can do this." She offers, quickly hopping off the couch to grab the remote from the coffee table. I give Duke a pet behind his ears, relaxing a little; I only now realize how tired I am. Taking care of a class of toddlers with an ever-growing bump seems to be the most tiring thing ever. "Can I put my head on your lap?" Joy asks me after putting the movie on. "Of course. If you are lucky enough, you'll hear the baby move..." I state as she lays on the couch, placing her head on my lap as Moana starts playing.

"What are my pretty girls doing?" Calum asks as he walks into the living room, finding Joy and I singing along with Moana, half asleep, both of us exhausted. "Daddy!" Joy cheers, raising her head to look at Calum, who looks just as drained. "Hey, princess. How are you?" He asks, leaning down to kiss her squishy cheek. "Starving..." She announces with a groan, making me chuckle at how overly dramatic she can be. "Go wash up while I say hi to the baby..." He encourages her, patting her back. Joy jumps off, running to the bathroom as Calum walks to the front of the couch, kneeling and bringing his lips to my bump.

"Hi, baby..." He whispers, pressing a kiss on my belly as I bring my hand to stroke his hair. "A kiss for baby..." He whispers, crawling up to me. "And a kiss for mama..." He whispers, before planting a kiss on my lips. "Hi, daddy... How was your day?" I ask, giggling as he cups my face in his hands. "Good, even better now that I am with my favorite girls." He kisses my lips once more. "How was your day?" He asks me, stroking his hand over my belly. "Exhausting... But, Joy called me mommy for the first time today and I swear, my heart melted..." I smile at him, causing him to smile just as brightly. "And I missed it? Fuck..." He sighs, pouting. "I am pretty sure she will do it again... She is such an angel, Calum... She brought me a blanket for my belly because she didn't want the baby to get cold. I swear, I wanted to start crying... And she wanted to make the table, so I could rest after cooking." I sigh happily, making him chuckle. "She amazes me all the time... She had this great preschool teacher, she taught her a lot of manners..." He teases me, biting his lip. "Oh, I think her DILF daddy taught her great manners before the teacher did..." I nudge him, leaning in to kiss his nose. "Why is washing up taking her so long?" He asks, looking towards the bathroom. "Go check on her and I'll serve the food. We are eating on the island today." I say, getting up from the couch.

"You know, I had this thought today and I would like to talk it out with you." I suggest as I enter the bedroom, ready to let the day behind me. "Sure..." Calum replies, lifting the duvet for me to get under as he locks his phone and puts it on the nightstand. "You remember that Joy called me mommy today, right?" I ask and he nods as I climb on the bed, fixing the covers and shimming my way to Calum's embrace. "Well, I don't want to overstep my boundaries, but since you and I are having a baby and you pretty much asked me to marry you, I was thinking that maybe... I could adopt Joy..." I suggest, biting my bottom lip as I wait for his reaction. He is silent for a moment, so I tilt my head to face him, finding him staring at me with his mouth agape. "I know I am not her mother... And I am not trying to replace Nina... But I love Joy as mine and I want her to feel like it." I try to explain, rumbling as I rush to give him an insight into my thinking. "Thank God you are not her mother. I... I don't know what to say..." He is really hard to read right now. "It was just a thought, I didn't want to put you in a rough position..." I panic but he chuckles, pressing his lips to my forehead. "I will call my lawyer tomorrow morning and schedule a meeting. She will tell us all we need to know about the process. You are a literal angel, and I am the luckiest guy in the whole entire world... And our kids are so lucky you are their mom." He peppers my face with kisses, making me giggle as he leans down, pressing his lips to my belly, just below my navel. "I know, I know... But I am just as lucky that I have you..." I smile, stroking his hair as he cradles my bump.

"You know you didn't have to dress this formal for the meeting, right?" Calum asks me as we walk into the waiting room of the lawyer's office. "I didn't know these things had a dress code..." I cock my eyebrow at him, while he takes my hand and brings it to his lips, keeping my hand in his palm after. We sit like that, listening to the clock ticking in the empty space, prepping for what we will hear once we walk in. "Mr. Hood, Mrs. (Y/L/N), please, go in..." The secretary smiles at us, gesturing us to get inside.

Calum lets me walk in first, holding the door open. I clutch at my purse and gulp the lump in my throat, feeling worried for no reason. "Calum, I really didn't expect you here any time soon." The lady stands up to shake my hand and then Calum's before we take a seat. She seems familiar with him, which is a good sign; at least she is aware of the case. "It's for a good reason this time..." He chuckles, resting back on the chair. "Judging from what you told me on the phone, I agree. But tell me a little more." She instructs us, grabbing a notepad. "My partner and I are having a baby. And we thought, well, she thought, that since my daughter's mom is not in the picture, maybe (Y/N) could adopt her." Calum begins. "Adopt her?" The lawyer asks, turning to me. "I have seen that quite a few times, children being adopted by their step-parents. And I would like to adopt Joy officially since her mother is not present in her life." I explain and she nods. "Well, since the noncustodial parent is absent, the case is less complicated. Are you two married?" She asks us, making us look at each other. "No, but we are planning to..." Calum replies. "I am going to be straightforward and tell you that you should get married as soon as possible. It will simplify the case for the court even more. When you get married, you will bring me your marriage license and we will file the petition. After that, we get a court date, and before the date arrives, you will both get interviewed and your environment and background will be checked. It is best if you prepare Joy for that. Since the biological mother does not have custody and has no parental rights, she will not be called to testify and consent to the adoption. I am really confident that we are going to have an easy case. But, we will need to be well prepared for it." She explains, making Calum and I sigh; I am not really sure if it is a sigh of relief or frustration.

The drive back home is pretty quiet, Calum focusing on the road while I stare outside the window, biting the inside of my cheek in agitation. "Well, at least she said it is a simple case..." Calum mumbles, causing me to sigh as I draw my attention to him. "Yeah, that's a good thing. But you don't seem as happy as you should about the news." I sigh and he hums. "I don't know... That thing about rushing the wedding... It doesn't sit well with me... I don't like that we will have to do it fast just for the court... I want you to have the wedding you have dreamed of." He admits and I purse my lips, thinking about it. "Let's just do it in the mayor's hall. I don't want a big, expensive wedding. And I never was the one to dream of wearing a wedding dress. I just want it to be me and you and our vows to each other, nothing else matters." I shrug, turning to look at Calum. "You are joking, right?" He asks, furrowing his eyebrows together. "I am not. We will just have a few friends as our witnesses, Joy will be my flower girl, I will wear a simple dress and then we can have a big party with friends. I don't care about anything else... I just care about marrying you." I speak with honesty, all of it coming from deep in my heart. "I will still have to officially propose to you... I want Joy to be a part of it. And we will still have to obtain the license and organize the party..." Calum smiles, sounding a little too cheerful already. "Don't worry, I am not going to ruin your Christmas proposal... We can get married after Christmas, before the New Year... We have, like 2 weeks ahead of us..." I state and he nods his head. "Let's do it... Let's fucking do it..." He cheers, bringing a smile to my lips. "You know we will have to talk to Joy about the adoption plan, right?" I ask Calum, who nods still smiling as he drives. "I know. And I know that she is going to be extremely happy over the news, so there is nothing we should worry about. Really, we should limit our worrying time to the absolute minimum." He reaches to stroke his thumb over my tummy. "I kinda like this easy breezy version of you." I place my hand over his, feeling the warmth radiating from his skin. "For the first time in a few years, everything is exactly where it is supposed to be. Everything is exactly as it is supposed to be. And I have decided to let it flow over me, enjoy all of it while it lasts." He explains, licking his lips. I hum, sitting a bit upright. "What about I call Luke, ask him to keep Joy for the night and you and I have a little bit of mommy and daddy fun? I have a couple of non-alcoholic sparkling cider bottles and I can't wait to share them with the prettiest pregnant lady I know..." He suggests, taking my hand and bringing it to his lips. "Are you asking me on a date, Mr. Hood?" I ask, playing it dumb. "Is it that obvious?" He teases, chuckling as he lets my hand down on my lap.

"Can you raise your t-shirt a bit?" Calum asks as he brings the platter of cheese on the couch. "Are you asking me to strip? Jeez, at least buy me a drink first..." I fake-scold him, rolling my eyes at him. "No, smart-ass... I am asking you to raise your top so your baby bump is out and I can send a pic to my mom. She has been asking for one ever since I told her she would be having a second grandchild soon." He explains, picking up his phone. I hum, leaving my glass of cider on the coffee table. I raise my t-shirt, laying back and placing a hand on my bump, giving him a clear shot of my protruding stomach. "The picture would look so much better if there was a ring on your finger..." He mumbles, snapping the picture. "I have plenty of rings in my jewelry box. Go fetch me one." I tease him, turning my head to look at him as he smirks and rolls his eyes. "I think you know what I am talking about... Stop playing it dumb." He whispers, scooting closer to me. I shrug my shoulders, reaching up to stroke his face as he hovers above me. "I have no clue..." I cheer, pursing my lips as my eyes crinkle from smiling at the love of my life. "Oh, you don't?" He asks, licking his lips as his hand cups my face, holding it up before he places a kiss on my lips. His knee rests between my legs, supporting his body up as his lips mold with mine. He touches me oh so softly, tracing his fingers from my jaw to my neck, raising goosebumps on my skin. "You look so pretty, my love..." Calum mumbles, kissing a trail from my lips to the spot below my ear. "Turn the lights off, leave only the Christmas lights..." I moan, closing my eyes as I picture Calum holding me down, thrusting inside me as the lights that decorate our house blink slowly. "What do you have in mind?" He asks, cocking an eyebrow at me, supporting his weight on his palms. "When was the last time you had sex on this couch?" I ask, biting my lip. He smiles down at me, sighing happily as he shakes his head. "I am so fucking lucky that I will get to marry you..." He mumbles, planting a kiss on my lips before he gets up to kill the lights.

(Calum's POV) "Did you have fun with uncle Lu and auntie Si, baby?" I ask Joy as I hug her to my chest, looking at Luke who is chuckling at us. "I had so much fun, daddy. Auntie Sierra painted my nails." She cheers, showing me her sparkly manicure. "So pretty. But we will have to get it off before you go to school on Monday, you know that, right?" I ask her, bopping her nose as she nods. "I know. Mom will help me." She replies and I smile at her, the word 'mom' making my heart warm up. "Ok, then. Say bye-bye to uncle Luke and aunt Sierra..." I prompt her, letting her turn around to wave off my friends. "Bye uncle Lu, bye auntie Sierra. See you soon..." She cheers, blowing them a kiss.

I strap her on her booster seat, making sure she is comfortable before I get on my seat. "How is mommy?" She asks; the word now comes out with a little hesitance, almost like she is testing the waters. "She was still sleeping when I left. The baby makes her feel a little tired." I reply, turning the engine on. "Oh, we will have to be quiet." She suggests and I hum. "I was thinking that you and I should go for a milkshake and give mommy some time to wake up." I suggest and she cheers. "Yes. Caramel milkshake, caramel milkshake, caramel miiiilkshakeee." She sings rhythmically, clapping her hands along. "Ok then. I guess we are going for a milkshake." I smile, pulling out of Luke's driveway.

"I wanna show you something, but you have to promise you will keep it a secret... From everyone." I whisper as I lean closer to my daughter, who slurps on her milkshake. She looks at me with her eyebrows furrowed, leaving the glass on the table. "Even (Y/N)?" She asks me and I nod. "Especially (Y/N)." I reply and she looks at me, even deeper in confusion. "What is it?" She asks, scooting closer. I take the ring box out of the pocket of my jacket, opening it carefully under the table. "Do you know what this is?" I ask her and she nods. "A ring." She states. "That's right. Do you know what that means?" I ask her and she shrugs her shoulders. "It means I want to give it to (Y/N) and ask her to marry me. If it is ok with you, of course..." I reply as Joy brings her fingers to graze them over the sparkly ring. "Oh." She gasps, turning to look at me, with her eyes big and sparkly. "And I want it to be a surprise. So please, don't say anything." I remind her, closing the box and placing it back in the pocket of my jacket. "I won't, daddy. I promise." She raises her pinky in the air, making me chuckle as I link it with mine. "And I need your help, baby. I want you to give the ring to (Y/N) on Christmas morning. Can you do that for me?" I ask her and she nods excitedly. "Do you think she will say yes, daddy?" She asks me, whispering as she looks around, making sure no one heard. "I have a hunch she will, baby. But remember, we can't say anything to no one until Christmas morning. This is our little secret." I remind her, pressing my finger to my lips, causing her to giggle and mimic me. "I will wrap the ring really pretty and you will give it to her when we open gifts on Christmas morning, ok baby?" I bop her nose and she nods, reaching to pick up her milkshake. "Will she like the ring?" Joy asks me, holding the glass carefully. "I hope so, bunny. It is pretty, isn't it?" I ask her, scratching the back of my head. I know that (Y/N) is not a big wearer of jewelry, but I do hope she loves the ring; she didn't say anything when I showed it to her, so I hope she thinks it's decent, at least. "It is pretty, dad. I want one too." She pouts at me as I lean in to kiss her forehead. "I'll get you a diamond ring, baby. When you turn 18, ok?" I promise her and she nods happily, bringing her straw to her mouth.

"Hey, mama? Did you miss someone?" I cheer as we enter the house, finding (Y/N) resting on the couch. Joy runs to her, climbing on the couch to leave a kiss on her cheek. "I missed this baby bunny so much. Did you have fun with uncle Luke and aunt Sierra?" She asks her, squeezing her in her arms. "So much fun. Look." Joy cheers, showing off her sparkly nail polish. "They are so pretty... What else did you do?" She asks, stroking Joy's hair softly. "We built a fort and Petunia slept in my room and we watched a movie with a girl named Lilo." "And an alien named Stitch... Oh, I love this movie. I am so glad you had fun. But I've missed you so much... And your sister did too. She has been kicking a storm..." (Y/N) states, stroking her hand over her belly. "Really? Can I put my ear on your belly again?" Joy asks and (Y/N) nods, causing Joy to lay her head on her lap and press her ear on her bulging stomach. "Daddy, come listen!" Joy gestures me to get to her. I walk on the couch, laying on the other side, and pressing my ear on (Y/N)'s stomach. The baby kicks and moves, the feeling of it reminding me of a spring bouncing. Her hand rests on top of my head, stroking through my hair. As I turn my gaze, I find that she does the same to Joy, while smiling at us.

"She knows about the ring. And she is in... A bit too excited about it." I whisper as (Y/N) nestles to my chest. The house is quiet, only the TV giving off a low sound, while the little tea lights provide just the right luminance. "That's a relief..." "I was so nervous when I told her... But she loved the ring and she loved the idea of me marrying you, so..." "So, I guess I will have to go look for a dress. Not that it's going to be easy, with your daughter making my stomach look huge..." "Now she is my daughter?" "Come on, Hood. You are not the one getting your spline punched all day long, give me a break and let me have it." "You will look great in anything. You are the sexiest mama I have ever seen... And seriously, pregnancy suits you. If I could, I would have you with your belly full, every day for the rest of our lives." I reply, bringing a hand underneath her chin to lift it so I can kiss her. "Yeah, yeah... You are only saying that because you feel guilty that the baby is kicking my organs." She chuckles and I shake my head at her. "You are gorgeous, angel. You are glowing from the inside... And I can feel myself falling more and more for you, every second I spend with you." "I hate to ask... But it has been eating my brain away..." "You can ask me anything, baby." "You and Nina... How... What were you guys like as a couple?" She asks, avoiding to look at me. "I... I guess we were kinda like all else, having our ups and downs... We were passionate about what we were doing, trying to support each other through every step. She was very calm and sweet, I guess Joy took that from her. We were never very public about anything, we wanted to be taken seriously at our jobs, but she was affectionate and loving. But when she got pregnant... She changed. She became distant, agitated... We barely talked about anything else other than the adoption plan in the entirety of the 6 months we were aware of the pregnancy. Everything changed and I was hoping we would go back to normal after the whole thing would be done." "But you never got the chance... Is there a possibility... that you are still in love... with her?" She asks, her eyes fixating on my face, trying to read it. "Not even the slightest. I told you, she left us, she abandoned me with a child, never showed up again. In the beginning, I was thinking of her... But all went away when I realized it would be just me and Joy, for the rest of my life. I am not in love with her, I don't hate her... I don't feel anything when it comes to her." I reply and she nods, leaning in to kiss my cheek. "Did you ever think of marrying her? I mean, before Joy and all that..." She asks me, and I huff. "No. I wasn't thinking about marriage back then. You are the first ever to bring those thoughts to me. I didn't want any of that, not until I met you." I reply and she purrs happily.

"Now, if you are done with the questions, we have a wedding to plan. And we have a lot of things to decide on..." "Just find a caterer, a florist, someone to play music and we are set. And of course, we need to see what we are going to wear. But I really don't want anything complex... I need just us and our friends." She replies and I nod. "What about our families?" I ask her and she sighs, shrugging her shoulders. "Your family is more than welcome. I don't want mine at the wedding. Just my sister and my nephews. I haven't talked to the rest since the dinner incident. And they are not welcome if they don't approve." "Are you sure about that, darling? They are your family." I rub my thumb over the back of her hand. "I am sure. You, Joy, and our little baby are my family. And Duke, of course." She replies and I lean in to press a kiss on the tip of her nose.

(Y/N's POV) "Mommy, daddy, wake up... Santa brought the presents..." Joy screams as she barges into the room, jumping up and down the bed. I look at her, smiling at how excited she is. "Sweetheart, go get washed up and mommy and I will be with you in a few minutes..." Calum mumbles, making Joy nod as she jumps off. "Hurry." She shouts as she runs out of the room, skipping happily.

"Merry Christmas, my love... And Merry Christmas to you, my baby peanut..." He whispers, leaning down to press a kiss on my belly. "Merry Christmas, daddy. We love you so much..." I reply, stroking his hair. "I gotta give my baby mama a proper kiss..." He states, bringing his lips against mine for a moment, making me giggle. "I love you so much... You and our babies... I love you so much..." He whispers, placing his hand low on my stomach. "Come on... We have to go downstairs... Joy has to ask me to marry you on your behalf..." I cup his face in my hand, stretching up to give him a peck on the lips. "I think that's the reason she is so excited about 'Santa's gifts'." He replies, whispering before he gets off the bed.

Joy seems agitated as she unwraps her gifts, her legs bouncing as she throws the packages on the side. She is only looking for the ring, I can tell. "Oh, this one is for mommy." She exclaims, her voice coming off more excited than she intended. She moves next to me, handing me the wrapped box. "Oh, a gift for me? From Santa? I wonder what it is..." I gasp as look at it. "Open it..." She almost commands, unable to keep herself from squealing happily. I tear the paper apart, revealing the velvet box. "Oh, must be those earrings I had my eye on..." I mumble before I open the lid. I really gasp the moment my eyes land on it; I didn't remember the ring being so beautiful. "What is that?" I ask, staring mesmerized by how the ring sparkles. "Daddy has a question for you..." She stares at her father, prompting him to speak up. "Well... I love you so much, that I really, really want to marry you. So, I guess my question to you is, do you want to marry me?" Calum says, confidence dripping from his voice as he already knows the answer. I smile at him, shaking my head as I feel my eyes tear up. It feels so real right now, all of it suddenly coming to life from just being a thought. "Yes... Yes, I wanna marry you." I reply, feeling a couple of tears slip; stupid pregnancy hormones.

Calum stands up to hug me, squeezing me as Joy dances happily, cheering as Calum peppers my face with kisses. "Wanna slide that ring on?" I ask him and he nods, picking the ring out of the box before he slips it on my fingers. "Is it good? Not tight on your fingers, right?" He asks me and I shake my head no. "It is beautiful." I reply, leaning in to kiss him softly. "Were you in all of this, little lady?" I ask Joy, who giggles and nods. I kneel in front of her, hugging her closely. "This was the best surprise ever." I state, pressing a kiss on her forehead. "Now, you and I will have to find some pretty dresses to wear on the big day..." I take her hands in mine, making her nod her head and grin. "Ok. Can I go play with my toys now? I wanna see what Santa got me..." She asks and I nod, letting her hands go. "Go have fun, baby. Daddy and I will go make some lunch while you play." I reply, watching her run happily to her pile of toys.

"You were really great at pretending you had no clue about this..." Calum whispers as we walk to the kitchen. "I wasn't pretending. I was really surprised." I reply and he chuckles. "Seriously?" "Yeah... I had forgotten how good the ring looks, and I was shocked at how excited Joy was about this." I reply, opening the fridge to see what I can whip up for lunch. "You know, my heart almost pumped out of my chest while I was waiting for you to say yes." He admits and I coo, turning to look at him. His cheeks are rosy with embarrassment. "You had doubts I would say yes? Wanna take a look at this huge bump?" I chuckle and he hums. "Is the bump the only reason you are marrying me?" He asks, cocking an eyebrow. "Well, you are sweet and kind, and smart, and funny, and loving, and caring, and handsome to the point I drool over you every time I look at you. And, last but not least, you are so good at giving me orgasms, I am practically addicted... And I really can't imagine myself spending the rest of my life with anyone else. So..." I reply, cupping his face in my hands and squeezing his cheeks. "After dinner at Luke's tonight, I'll put Joy to bed, and when I get back to our room, I'll lock the door. Maybe you can wear some of that nice lingerie you own." He whispers in my ear, making me chuckle. "I can't fit in them. My boobs are huge now." I reply and he moans. "Be naked then." He kisses my neck, his breath fanning against my skin.

"Do you mind if I ask Kaitlin to be my maid of honor?" I ask Calum as he dresses up for Luke's dinner. "Not at all. I will ask Michael to be my best man since Luke is Joy's godfather and Ashton will be our ordain." He states and I nod. "Speaking of godfather... We have to pick one for the peanut..." I suggest and he hums. "Isn't it a bit early? We still have time for that..." "Yeah, but it is a tough decision to make." I remind him and he chuckles. "We will figure it out..." He replies, fixing the buttons on the sleeves of his shirt. "How do I look?" He asks, walking to me. I fix the creases on his chest, letting my hands rest there for a moment. "Completely edible, nearly irresistible." I sigh, biting my bottom lip. "Maybe I should call Luke and tell him we are not going..." He whispers and I chuckle. "I would like to see you try to tell Joy we're not going to Luke's house... She is obsessed with that man. Plus, I said nearly irresistible, not completely." I giggle, turning around to go see if Joy is ready.

"Joy literally fell asleep on top of Petunia. The poor doggo doesn't even dare move." I state as I take my seat at the table. "It's going to be a fuss picking her up..." Calum mumbles at me, making me smirk at him. "I can't pick her up. The belly is on the way..." I reply, pointing at the bump and making everyone laugh. "Well then... I guess I will have to." Calum replies, bringing my hand to his lips. "Calum was telling us about the wedding. Do you need any help, darling?" Sierra asks me, taking a swig from her wine. "Not really. It is going to be very simple and casual. Just us. But I will still need bridesmaids and a maid of honor... And I know this is not the best way to ask, but it would be an honor if you girls agreed on being my bridesmaids." "Uh, I was hoping for the flower girl gig..." Kaitlin sighs dramatically, shaking her head. "Well, that was promised to Joy, so you will have to settle for the maid of honor gig..." I reply and she nods. "I would be honored..." She replies, standing up and walking to me, hugging me close to her. Crystal and Sierra join in, making it a group hug. "So, we have a week for the wedding?" Ashton asks as we part, walking to me with open arms. "You'd better get ordained, mister..." I sniffle as I feel my eyes brimming, pouting a little. "I would, even if you didn't ask me to." He replies, pecking on my forehead. "You sure want to have the wedding in your backyard? I mean, I know you are rushing for the adoption court, but still... Don't you want something fancier?" Michael asks, looking at me and Calum. "This is fancy." I remark, smiling at Calum who shakes his head playfully. "I had to convince her for the backyard wedding. She wanted to do it in the mayor hall." Calum states, making me shrug my shoulders as I grin.

(Calum's POV) "Are you ready for tomorrow, princess?" I ask Joy as I tuck her in, and kiss her forehead. "I am. Mommy said I will get dressed with her before the wedding." "Try not to be prettier than mama, ok? She has to be the star of the evening." I tease her, and she giggles. "Ok, daddy." She smiles and I nod. "I will see you in the morning, baby. Get lots and lots of rest." I whisper, bopping her nose.

I exit the room, sighing as I enjoy the little bit of silence in the house. This time tomorrow, the house will be filled with music and celebrations. I can't wait until I marry her; I know that this is all typicality and that we don't need a paper to officiate our love, but this paper is what will make it easier for us to make our family official.

(Y/N) has been asleep for a while now, the pregnancy and all the wedding preparations finally catching up to her and making her tired. But my heart races and I become giddy with excitement as I wait for time to pass by and bring me to the moment (Y/N) will become my wife. My stomach twists a little as I dig in my pocket for my phone, but I know that I have to fight through the nasty feeling, and give one last fight. For her, because she deserves it.

I huff as I hover over the contact; I hate that I had to go through (Y/N)'s phone for that, but I had no other way. I press the phone against my ear as it rings, tapping my fingers against my thigh as I wait.

"Hello?" The line goes live and I release the breath I was holding. "Hi, this is Calum, (Y/N)'s boyfriend." There is an awkward silence until the man speaks. "How did you get my number?" He asks and I sigh. "It doesn't matter. I want you to listen to me for a moment." I almost plead, hoping that he is not going to hang up on me.

"Is my daughter ok?" He asks and I chuckle. "She is more than ok. I am going to talk to you, father to father. I know you don't necessarily approve of our relationship, but we are getting married tomorrow. I know that I would hate it if my daughter got married and I wasn't there. Whether you show up or not, she is still going to walk down that aisle, she is still going to look gorgeous, she is still going to marry me. Would you be ok missing that?" I can only hear her father's breath through the phone, for nearly a minute. "Listen, you don't have to make up your mind right now. I am going to hang up and I will send you the location and time with a message. I really hope to see you there. But if not, I want you to know that your daughter will be forever safe and happy with me." I state, and without wasting one more second, I hang up, feeling peaceful over the fact that I did my part. As I press send on the text, I can only hope her parents will do their part.

(Y/N's POV) "Don't over-do it with the curls..." I boss around poor Kaitlin, who just chuckles and shakes her head. "I know what I am doing, mama, trust me." She replies, smiling at me through the mirror. I still can't believe that in just a few moments I will be slipping into my pretty dress to go and get married to the man of my dreams. My hand flies to my bump, stroking over it without me realizing it. I can't stop feeling the bump lately; maybe because now it really looks like I am pregnant, maybe because I have finally started feeling the baby kick and move. "You ok?" Katelyn asks me and I nod, rubbing my thumb over my stomach in soft circles. "Yep. I am just trying not to get too emotional." "Please don't. Crystal will literally kill us if we mess with your makeup." She jokes and I giggle, nodding in agreement. "I will be very careful, I promise." I assure her as she runs her fingers through my curls.

I hear the door squeaking open, making me turn my head toward it. "You have some visitors." My sister announces, half-hiding behind the door. "Can't they wait downstairs with the rest? I have to get ready..." I reply and she shakes her head. "I don't think they can." She states and I sigh in surrender. "Sure, then... Let them in." I turn around as Kaitlin takes a step back to let me stand up and greet the guests.

In walk my parents. My mom takes the steps hesitantly, followed by my dad, who looks at his shoes instead of me. "If you are here to talk me out of this, I have to ask you to leave." I state, deciding to not let them ruin my day. "We are here... We are here because Calum was right. I would hate myself if my little girl got married and I was not there." My father speaks, making me gasp. "Calum invited you?" I ask, in confusion about what is going on. "He called last night. I couldn't sleep after that, thinking of you on your happiest day and us absent from it." He replies, walking closer to me. "We are here to join you, darling, not stop you. And we are very sorry about what happened the last time we met. We are so very sorry, my love." My mom chimes in, smiling softly at me. "I don't know what to say." I utter and they both nod. "We promise to not cause any trouble. We will sit in the back and leave right after if that's what you want. Just... Let us see you marry the man you love, that's all we ask." My father sounds apologetic, looking at me with honesty in his eyes. "I want you to stay for the whole thing. I wanted you here since we started planning, I wished you could magically appear. And you are here. So, please, stay. I don't want to get married without my family." I sniffle, looking up to avoid ruining my makeup with tears. "We will, my love." My mom replies, leaning in to kiss my forehead. "Now, I have to finish getting ready. Dad, will you walk me down the aisle?" I ask, pulling them in for a hug. "It would be an honor, darling." He mumbles happily, rubbing my back.

"You look... Absolutely gorgeous." My father whispers as he links his arm with mine. "You think so? The bump makes it all look weird..." I mumble but he shakes his head. "You look gorgeous, really. The most beautiful bride I have seen. Don't tell your mother and sister." He chuckles, making me giggle. "It will be our secret, dad. Thank you for doing this." I lean my head on his shoulder as we walk toward the little flower arch Calum is under. "Thank you for letting me do this." He replies, sounding sincere.

Calum smiles at us as we approach him, making my heart flutter happily. "I know you know already, but this man really loves you." My dad says, stopping for a moment to plant a chaste kiss on my forehead. "I know he does, dad. And I do too." I reply and he hums. "Well then... You two will make a wonderful family." He assures me, walking the last few steps. "Thank you." I mouth as Calum takes my hand to bring me closer to him under the arch. "You are the most beautiful woman I have ever laid my eyes on." He says happily, letting out a sigh at the end. "I know, right?" I tease him, making him shake his head at me.

Calum has been holding me close to his body throughout the party. His hands make their way to my bump, feeling our daughter as she moves inside me. Joy has been dancing around all night; even my parents danced with her. But for the last hour she has been laying on 2 chairs, put together for her to sleep on, and I would be lying if I said I am not jealous of her. "You are tired?" Calum whispers in my ear, pressing a kiss right under it. "Just a bit... Baby makes me sleepy." I giggle, resting my hand on my stomach. I love feeling our baby move, I love that she makes her presence known at almost all times, even if it means she is punching my organs. "I can kick them out, you know." He states, placing his hand on top of mine. "It's alright. If I get too tired, I can always get two chairs and join Joy..." I laugh and he hums. "Can't believe you are my wife..." He sighs happily, pressing a kiss on my temple. "You better believe it. Because I don't plan to ever change that. You married me for life, Hood." I state, turning around to look at him. He bites his lip, smiling to the point his cheeks are popping off. "You promise?" He asks me, cupping my face in his hands. "I promise." I bring his hand closer to my lips, pecking on the side of it.

Calum places a pancake on Joy's plate, cutting it into little pieces for her, while I help her with her glass of milk. She is almost sleeping, tired still from yesterday's intensity. "Are you ok Joy?" I ask her, stroking her hair as I watch her eyes get heavy. "I need sleep..." She sighs, making Calum and I chuckle at the same time. "You will feel a lot better after breakfast..." Calum picks a piece with the fork and brings it to Joy's lips. "Isn't baby tired? We should all take a nap." She states while chewing on her food, poking at my stomach softly. "Look at Ms. Smartypants over there, already using her baby sister." Calum cackles, knitting his eyebrows together as he makes his signature funny face. "We will take a nap later, don't worry. Mommy is tired as well." I assure her, leaning down to peck on her forehead. "Joy, mom and I would like to tell you something." Calum looks at me with a question mark glazing his eyes. I nod my head, sitting up a little better before I open my mouth. "Joy, now that dad and I got married, I would like to... I would like to become your mom." I look at the little girl, whose mouth is covered in chocolate syrup. "But you are my mommy already." She seems confused, and I really can't blame her; how can I explain that we need a signature to verify what we already feel with our whole soul? "I am. But, we need to make it official. Which means that everyone will know I am your mommy. That you will my baby forever and no one will ever say you aren't. And I want to ask you, would you like to become my daughter, officially? Would you like for me to be your mother, legally?" I ask her, my voice breaking as I feel too emotional.

Joy looks at me, bringing her hand on top of mine as I feel ready to burst into tears. "You are my mom." She states, making my bottom lip quiver and causing me to sniffle as I feel tears streaming down my eyes. "Ok... Let's give mommy a moment." Calum stands up to press his lips to my forehead. "Mom and dad will have to go to the court for this. You might need to come with us, some people might ask you a few questions about (Y/N) and how you feel. I want you to know that there is nothing to be scared of. We will be there and we are all going to be alright. And then mommy will be your mom forever." Calum explains, leveling down to her height. "Is mommy alright?" She asks, pointing at me; I must look like a mess, sobbing at how precious this moment has been this far. "She is just a little sensitive. Your sister is making her feel a little emotional." Calum explains, rubbing his thumb over my thigh in empathy. "Oh... It's ok, mama. Don't cry." Joy stands up from her seat, looking at her father who lifts her and lets her on my lap to hug me.

"I got served today." Sue smiles at me, showing me the paper. "Yeah, the lawyer told us they would start sending the papers." I reply, sitting on my chair and taking a breath; I am getting so heavy and it is getting tiring standing up, let alone having to manage a group of toddlers. "This is it, huh? You are becoming a family officially..." She states as she takes a seat on top of the little desk. "I still can't believe it. Joy is going to be my daughter... Fuck, I am going to cry again." I look up at the ceiling as I try to stop myself from breaking down again. "I told you he likes you before you even knew it. Remember the time he brought you flowers and you said it was because you helped him find Joy's backpack and all that crap?" She asks, with a smirk playing on her lips and her hand resting against my bump. "I just didn't think it would ever be possible. You know, I liked him since day one. The moment I saw his hands, I was hooked..." I sigh, bringing to my brain the visual of how good his hand looks. "Well, thank God Matt broke up with you when he did. I am leaving. Want me to drop you home?" She asks and I shake my head. "Calum is picking me up. He doesn't let me take a step by myself nowadays." I reply and she shakes her head, stroking my arm as she hops off. "I will see you tomorrow then." She says sweetly before walking out.

I check my phone to see if Calum has sent me any messages while I wait, hoping he will be here soon; I am craving the cheesiest mozzarella sticks dipped in marinara sauce. "I thought you would actually have the decency to get away from my family. But no..." A voice startles me, making me avert my gaze from my phone. Nina stands at the door of the room, looking at me with hatred. My breath hitches in the back of my throat and my hand instinctively goes to my protruding stomach, to protect it; she is not here for good. "And I thought you wouldn't actually dare show up after your filthy lies. Your plan didn't work in your favor, huh? Really, what were you trying to achieve with your lame fiction?" I ask her, standing up from my chair. Her eyes get wider as she takes a look at my belly, mouth staying agape. "You are knocked up?" She points at my stomach, walking towards me. It takes everything in me to stay where I am, show her that I am not scared, even though every cell inside me trembles at the hatred I see in her eyes. "What are you doing here?" I ask her, with the most paced voice I can muster. "The court sent me this... You want to take my daughter? You think you can take my child from me?" She nearly hisses at me, throwing the paper at me. "The... the lawyer said they wouldn't serve you... You gave up all parental rights, you don't have her custody, not even partially." My stomach hurts as I look at her becoming red with anger. "I am not going to let a random slut become my daughter's mother. And I am not going to let you take my man away. Calum still loves me. You think if you weren't carrying that bastard, he would still be with you? I am going to get what is mine, and you are going to be left with what you fucking deserve... Nothing." She spits out, getting scaringly closer. I cover my belly with my hands, mentally praying she will not hurt me.

"(Y/N)?" Someone calls from the door. I look over Nina's shoulder, finding Ashton waiting at the door. He looks distraught, confused as to what is going on. Nina turns around, making Ashton gasp. "You dare show up here? You dare show your fucking face after everything you have done?" Ashton growls at her, dashing to where we are. "Ash, please..." I mumble but he seems infuriated. "Step the fuck away from her, before I throw you out of here. You have no place in anyone's life." Ashton pulls her away, stepping between me and her. "You can't tell me what to do." She bites back, but Ashton seems to keep his composure. "You are lucky Calum wasn't here, because you get to walk away now. If he had been, if he had heard what I had heard, oh, you would have been buried 2ft wide and 6ft deep. So, get the hell out of here, and if you dare to show your face ever again, I will remember all the pain you have caused to my favorite people, and I will bury you with my own two hands." He threatens; Nina stays silent, only her breath being heard before she turns around to leave.

I gasp for air, Ashton turning to me immediately. He helps me sit on the chair, crouching down to my height to make me look at him. "Hey, hey... Everything is alright... You are safe, no one is going to hurt you." Ashton tries his hardest to calm me down, but the little pain growing in my abdomen makes me more panicked. "It hurts..." I cry out, shutting my eyes and trying to regulate my breathing. "Where? (Y/N), where does it hurt?" He asks me, bringing his hand on top of mine. "Something is wrong, something is wrong..." I cry out, clutching my belly. "Sweetheart, sweetheart look at me... You are going to be ok, and your baby is going to be ok. Everyone is going to be fine. I will take you to a hospital, ok darling?" He tries to assure me, but he sounds just as panicked as me. He helps me stand up from the chair, letting me support my weight on him as he grabs my purse and phone. "Can you walk? Do you need me to carry you?" He asks me but leaves no time for me to respond before he picks me up.

(Calum's POV) My phone rings as I finish strapping Joy to her car seat, so I reach in my pocket for it. "It's probably mommy." I say to the kid who looks at me sleepily. I take a look at my screen, finding that Ashton is calling me. "Hey, I just picked Joy up. Did you ask (Y/N) where she wants to go for lunch?" I ask him, opening the driver's door. "I need you to stay calm. And if you are driving, pull over." Ashton says, making me knit my eyebrows together. "What happened?" I ask, sitting on my seat and closing the door. "I had to take (Y/N) to the hospital. And you should come over too." He says, trying to keep his voice calm. "What? Why? Is she ok? Please, tell me she is fine... Please..." I feel my breath getting caught in my lungs. "I don't know, Cal. Come over. We are in Good Samaritan." He replies and I hang up, trying not to get my brain to the worst.

I quickly dial Luke's number, hoping he will be available to keep Joy; I don't want her in the hospital, not now that I don't know what is happening with my wife and baby. He picks up after a few rings. "Can you keep Joy for a while? It is an emergency?" I ask him before he could say a word. "What do you mean an emergency?" He asks, yawning a little. "I don't know much. It has to do with (Y/N)." I state, sniffling as I try not to fall apart. "I'll be waiting in my driveway." He responds, stuttering the words. "Thanks. See you in a bit."

The drive to the hospital could easily be the hardest ride of my life. I know I have to keep my shit together, but this ignorance is killing me. Ashton waits for me at the entrance of the E.R, looking as pale as ever. The constant pinch in my gut is making me dizzy; I don't know what to expect. I feel my body becoming cold, my knees suddenly bucking as they struggle to support my body. "Where is she?" I ask Ashton, who motions me to follow him. "They are examining her." He replies, guiding us to the elevators. "What happened?" My thumb goes to my ring finger, grazing over the silver band. "I went to pick her up as we planned... And I found Nina in there." "Nina? What the fuck was she doing there?" I ask him, feeling my blood become boiling. "I have no clue. I only heard her say she was going to get everything that's hers. I kicked her out and then (Y/N) told me she was in pain." He explains. "Did she hurt her? Did she fucking touch her?" I growl, digging my nails in my palms. "I don't think so... I mean... I didn't see her doing anything." He replies, looking at me for my reaction. I bite the inside of my cheek, feeling my stomach drop. "I am going to find her and I am going to kill her. I am going to kill her, I swear." I say through gritted teeth, making Ashton move in front of me and grab me by my shoulders. "Mate, if you hurt her, she is going to get you arrested. Your wife will have to give birth alone, you won't get to be with your daughters, and the career you have will be forever stained by it." He reasons me. "If anything happens to (Y/N), I won't..." I begin but I burst into sobs, making Ashton pull me into a hug. "Calum, your wife is the most stubborn person I know. I mean, look at her, putting up with your ass... She is going to be fine. And your baby, well, she has the strongest mama, and she is going to be fine as well. Please, don't think about that. (Y/N) will be fine." He assures me, patting my back. "Now, we are going up to the OBGYN floor and we are going to wait for the results. And then you are going in to see your wife and you will be calm, so she can be calm. Ok?" He looks at me, shaking me a little. "She is going to be fine." I state and he nods. "Both of them." He adds, pushing the elevator button.

"Mr. Hood?" Someone asks me, making me bring my head up from my lap. A woman with a medical coat stands before me, smiling condescendingly as I stand up. "Are they ok? Is my wife alright? Is the baby ok?" I ask and she draws in a breath. "The baby is perfectly healthy, there is no reason to be worried right now. Your wife, however, was in shock when she was brought in. Her blood pressure was very high. We were able to lower it, but we are worried about her developing preeclampsia." She explains. Ashton pats my back as I feel my breath hitch to the back of my throat. "Preeclampsia?" I ask and she nods. "High blood pressure can lead to organ failure and we want to avoid that. So, we will keep her in, for observation and treatment. And hopefully, her blood pressure will drop to normal soon." The doctor explains and I gulp the lump in my throat. "If it doesn't drop?" Ashton asks, beating me to it. "We will have to deliver the baby. But this is something we are trying to avoid." She replies. "Can I see her?" I ask; I must be looking at her in the most pleading way. "Of course. But try not to upset her." She states, motioning me to follow her.

I see her laying on the hospital bed, the monitor hooked on her arm. I have to take a moment to get my mind in order before I step into her room, because I know I will break down crying in front of her. "Are you going to stand there or get in?" She asks me softly, patting the free spot on her bed. I walk in, feeling at a loss of words. "The doctor filled me in. She said our baby is fine and that you'll be fine too." I try to assure her, but she shakes her head at me. "They talked to me too. I know the baby is fine... But... I am not, Cal..." She sniffles, squeezing my hand. "No, no, baby... You will be fine, we are all going to make sure of that. They said they already have lowered your blood pressure... We are on the right track." I press my lips on her forehead, trying to use my most calming voice. "If it comes to choosing..." "No, shut up... It won't come to choosing... We will never let it get to that. You and our baby will be fine. And when we get out of here, we are going to choose all the baby furniture and everything we need for our little peanut. And Joy is going to help me decorate the baby's room because that kid has an eye for that. And then we will have to find a name for her before she is here, so we have plenty of stuff to think about instead of thinking about it ever coming to a choice." I assure her, placing my hand on her bump. "It was so scary... She had a paper from the court, she said she wasn't gonna let me take what's hers... She looked at me with so much hatred..." I can hear her breathing become a little struggled, so I just hug her closer, pressing my lips on her forehead as I try to soothe her. "It's all over... All over, baby. She won't hurt you... We will get a restraining order and security and..." She shakes her head and leans her head on my shoulder. "Why did she have a paper from the court? I thought the lawyer said she wouldn't get served..." She asks as I run my thumb over her shoulder. "I don't know, angel... Let me take care of everything, ok? You rest and make sure our baby is alright, and I will go get everything fixed. How does that sound?" I ask her, pecking on her temple, while at the same time I try to calm down myself. "I love you." She whispers, placing her hand on top of mine on her bump. "I love you, angel. Try to rest now, I will be back in just a bit." I sigh, getting up from the bed.

Ashton waits outside the room for me, hugging me without saying a word. "You look like shit right now. You need coffee and food." He pats my back as he pulls away. I shake my head at him, pulling my phone out of my pocket. "I need to call the lawyer, and ask why the hell Nina got served to a court she never should have gotten served to. And I need to tell her to file for a restraining order because today Nina scared my wife to the point of endangering her life. So, before I get food or coffee or really anything, I should fix everything... I should fix it for my wife, for my daughters, for myself. Because Nina showed up twice, she knows where my wife works, she knows we are having a baby. Nina showed up, twice... And I can't breathe at the thought of Nina showing up and me not being there to protect (Y/N), or Joy, or the baby... So, please, let me fix this and stop worrying about me, for just a moment." I plead, feeling my chest becoming tight. "Ok, ok... Can I help? Any way I can!" He asks me and I nod. "Call Luke and tell him that I am staying with (Y/N) at the hospital and if he can't keep Joy, I can call a babysitter..." I explain. "I will call. And if he can't keep her, I will. I will also go to the cafeteria and buy us some coffee and water and food, and you can eat while you talk with the lawyer." He assures me, patting my back softly. "Thank you." "You are welcome. Now, let's go sit and make the calls we need to make." He nods his head towards the sitting area.

"It was all a mistake." I announce as I walk into (Y/N)'s room. "What was a mistake?" She asks me, looking at me in confusion. "Nina getting served. The person in charge of our papers didn't see the custody ruling. Nina won't be at the court. And she won't be allowed to get anywhere near you. I filed for a temporary restraining order, and we will pursue a permanent one as soon as we can. And I will make sure you are always with security when I am not with you." I explain, smiling at her. "She knows where I work... What if she doesn't stop? What if she comes again?" She asks me; I can see the terror in her eyes. "Well, you will get your maternity leave early, due to medical reasons. And, frankly... You can always quit..." "And what will you have me do? Be a housewife and a mother? I will go insane, Calum." "Now, did I say that, my love? You can quit, and I can help you set up something of your own." "You know I can't ask you for something like that." "You are not asking for it. I am offering. It is an investment, something that will be ours. Think about it... We have time to decide what we will do. But now, you get your maternity leave and stay home with our daughter while we wait for our other daughter to arrive. Ok?" I ask and she nods, smiling at me. "What did you tell Joy?" She asks me, running her thumb over my wedding ring. "I didn't tell her anything. Haven't spoken to her yet." I shrug my shoulders, looking at our hands. "You should tell her the truth. Not the scary part, of course. But tell her that mommy is at the hospital and the doctors are taking care of her and her baby sister." She explains, bringing my hand to her stomach. The baby moves inside her, little lumps moving across her stretched skin. "It still feels weird..." I chuckle, feeling her move under my hand. "I know. It feels like an alien is trying to rip through my body." She replies, sounding calm, finally. "Don't call our baby alien." I scoff. "Why? She looks like one right now. Have you seen the ultrasounds? She looks like ET more than she looks like you or me." She jokes, but her voice sounds so loving. "Prettiest alien ever." I say in my baby voice, stroking my hand over her bump.

I knew Joy wouldn't be able to stay home the moment she would hear about (Y/N) being in the hospital, so I promised to bring her in and see for herself that her mommy is alright and I haven't been lying to her. The little girl has been tugging at my sleeve from the moment we got in the hospital; her other hand is occupied, holding some flowers and one of her stuffed bunnies. "Bunny, no need to be anxious. Mommy is alright, you'll see her in a few minutes." I try to calm her, but her eyes look at me with worry. "Why is mommy in the hospital? Only sick people go to the hospital." She asks me, and I chuckle. "Well, not only sick people. The doctors wanted to make sure your baby sister is healthy, so mommy is staying here for a while. In a few days, she will be back home." I assure her, lowering to her height. "You promise?" She asks and I hum. "I promise, love. Now, put on your big girl smile, and let's go to mama." I suggest and she nods.

We walk into the room, finding (Y/N) sitting upright on her bed, glowing and beaming with happiness as the little girl runs to her. "Mommy." She screams happily, throwing the flowers and the stuffie on top of the bed. "Bunny... You are here." (Y/N) says excitedly. I move closer to them, lifting Joy on (Y/N)'s bed so she can hug her. "You are ok?" Joy asks her as (Y/N) hugs and kisses her forehead. "I am. We are just making sure the baby is healthy inside my tummy." (Y/N) replies, twirling one of Joy's curls. "Is she?" She asks; her voice is full of worry, which quite honestly is the purest thing I have witnessed. "She is very healthy, and soon I will get back home and we will be together all day long. We will draw, and read, and watch movies, and play all day. And daddy said he needs your help with the baby's room because you are so good at choosing stuff and I get tired very easily, so I am not such a great help." (Y/N) explains to our daughter who looks at her adoringly. "Ok, mama. Daddy bought you these, he said you love tulips. And I brought you Carrot because I don't want you to be alone. She will keep you and the baby company." Joy reaches for the stuff, handing the stuffie to (Y/N), who keeps it close to her chest. "Thank you, sweetheart. I am sure Carrot will be amazing." (Y/N) coos, pressing a kiss on Joy's forehead. "Hey there. I see you have a lot of visitors." The doctor walks into the room, smiling at Joy who studies her. "I have the best company ever. Joy, this is my doctor, Dr. Willow. She makes sure the baby and I are very healthy." (Y/N) explains as Joy extends her hand to shake the doctor's. "Yes, and I am here to take a look at the baby." The doctor says as I take Joy off the bed. "Oh, can I see her too? Please..." She begs, making me look at (Y/N). "If the doctor says you can stay..." (Y/N) responds, turning to the doctor. "I don't see why not." The doctor states, bringing the ultrasound machine a little closer to (Y/N)'s bed.

(Y/N) raises her gown, making sure to bring the covers closer so she is not exposed to the whole world. The doctor squirts some gel onto (Y/N)'s belly before she moves the wand over it. The heartbeat echos through the little machine, steady and loud as it should be. "This is your sister's heart that you hear. And on the screen, we can see her move inside your mommy's belly. She looks very healthy and active. Do you want a picture of her?" The doctor asks Joy, who nods excitedly. "Ok then, let's prepare you one. By the time you are back from the amazing cafeteria with your dad, the picture will be ready." The doctor subtly lets me know we have to go, so I nod and pick Joy up. "Let's go see if they have some ice cream in here. We will be back before you know it." I assure her, walking out of the room.

(Y/N's POV) "I thought this was your first pregnancy..." The doctor states after Calum and Joy leave the room. "It is. Joy... Well, I didn't birth her, but she is my daughter. My husband and I are going to court in a few days so I can legally become her mother. But she is my daughter already." I respond, making the doctor nod. "Biology doesn't matter. Love matters. And I see enough of it in your family." She responds, printing the ultrasound picture for Joy. "Is everything alright? Why did you ask them to leave?" I ask as I clean my stomach. "Everything is fine. As I said, she is very healthy and active. And I like how low your B.P has been for the past 24 hours. We'll keep you on for one more day, just to make sure. But I think there is no reason to be worried." She replies, turning off the ultrasound. "I don't have preeclampsia?" I ask, making her smile. "From what I see this far, no. But you will need to keep track of your blood pressure and make sure you don't get stressed. Take small walks to help with circulation, but not getting tired or too worked up. And before you ask, sex is still allowed..." She states and I chuckle. "Ok... So I am getting out tomorrow, right?" I ask and she hums. "In 24 hours, yes. You will still get monitored throughout the day, just for precaution, but I am pretty sure you will get out of here." She replies, leaving the ultrasound picture on the little bedside table. "I will see you again in a few hours." She smiles at me before placing the ultrasound machine back in place and leaves.

As the doctor promised, I am out of the hospital the day after, with Calum and Joy picking me up with excitement written all over their faces. Joy has been holding the picture from the ultrasound in her hands nearly all day since I handed it to her, which I am absolutely positive is the cutest thing ever. "Ok, mommy goes to sit on the couch and I will go order us some food. Joy, want to go join mama?" Calum asks the little girl, who nods. "Actually, I want to go out in the backyard. It is such a lovely day and I want to soak up some sun." I state and Calum hums, leaning in to press a kiss on my lips. "I'll order the food and join you in a bit." He replies before Joy takes my hand and guides us into the backyard.

We lounge on one of the sun chairs, letting the sun hit us, Joy leaning her head on my stomach as the baby moves. "Will the baby sleep in my room when she comes?" She asks me, making me stroke her hair. "In the beginning, she will sleep in our room, so I can feed her and change her diaper at night. But after that, she will have her own room." I explain and she sighs in disappointment. "Why? She can stay in my room." She offers and I chuckle. "Well, you have a big girl room and the baby needs a baby's room. But we can talk about it when the baby gets older... I promise that." I reply, smiling at the girl who grins at me. "Daddy said we will go to this place where they will ask me questions in a few days." "Yes. Are you anxious?" I ask her and she shakes her head. "No. I want to go there. After that you'll be my mom forever, right?" She asks and I nod. "I am already your mom forever, my love. I will just be your mom on paper too." I explain, stroking her curls. "Ok, mama." She whispers, running her hand over my belly.

I wear the only formal clothes that fit me right now, with my most comfortable fancy shoes, hoping I look prestigious enough so that the court will decide in my favor. It has been hours since the session began, and I feel more than sleepy and bothered than I want to admit. And I bet anything that Joy is even worse than me. But none of us dare say anything, none of us complain. Because according to our lawyer, things have been going very well this far. So, we spend the court break just waiting for the decision, in nearly complete silence. "Are you ok, my love?" Calum asks me as I lean my head on his shoulder. Joy has been sitting with Luke and Sierra since the social worker has already taken her interview early on. "I am tired. And I want this to be over already. What's taking them so long?" I groan and he hums softly. "It will be over soon. And we will go home, with our daughter and friends to celebrate." He assures me. I feel my bump, trying to soothe myself from unnecessary anxiety. "Joy is about to fall asleep..." He points out and I chuckle. "She barely slept last night. She was excited..." I reply, bringing my hand to tangle with his. "Weren't we all?" "How come you are not anxious?" I ask and he chuckles. "Someone has to be the rock..." He shrugs his shoulders. The judges walk in, taking their seats as we stand up to hear their ruling. "After thoroughly examining the testifies of the witnesses, and all the information collected by the respected services, we hereby approve the adoption of Joy Luna Hood from (Y/F/N), thereby granting the custody to (Y/F/N) and Calum Thomas Hood. Congratulations." The judge announces, making the whole room cheer. Joy runs to us, cheering as Calum picks her up and we have a little family hug. "I am your mommy now... Officially your mommy." I nearly cry; I have been dreaming of this moment since we went to the lawyer the first time. "We are a family now. Officially." Calum adds, kissing Joy's forehead, then mine.

"Not to startle you or anything, but your room is ready and soon you will get an eviction notice from in there... So, it might be time for you to pop out. Your sister is so excited to meet you, you are so gonna love her." Calum says in his baby voice, poking at my stomach. "Baby, I really don't want to blow your cloud away, but I am the one who is going to have to push a human out of a very small hole, and I am not so pumped about that... So, please don't try to rush her out yet. She is warm and safe in there..." I stroke Calum's hair, yawning a little as I feel drowsy already; it has barely been 3 hours since I woke up. "Yeah, I know. But I am excited she is getting here any day now. I still remember the day you came to our house with that folder in hand. It feels like yesterday." "I would kinda like to forget that I announced my pregnancy that way and that we were practically broken up at that point." I groan and he huffs. "Officially, we never broke up. And you promised the announcement of the next pregnancy is going to be a whole lot better. You better stay true to your promise." "Oh, we are already talking about the next one? This one is not even here yet. She still doesn't have a name." I protest but he scoffs playfully. "Yeah, we need a name. But I kinda like the idea of this one and the next one being so close, age-wise." "Calum, baby, I adore you and I adore our children, present and potential, but after this one, you are really not touching me for a while." I state and he gasps. "You really think you will be able to resist those lips, this charm, this body?" He asks me, cocking an eyebrow at me. "I can always try." I giggle, stroking my stomach.

"Cal... Cal baby, can you wake up?" I shake my husband, who stirs a little and grimaces. "Baby, please. My water just broke..." I nudge him, trying to get him to wake up. I feel myself becoming more anxious than I ever imagined I would be when this moment would come. "Calum Thomas Hood... Our daughter is coming. Get off the bed." I practically shout at him, startling him awake. "What?" He asks me, panting as he sits up. "My water broke... We need to go to the hospital." I moan as a contraction rips through me. "Fuck..." He exclaims, jumping off the bed. "That's what I am saying..." I reply, taking a deep breath to calm down. "We need to get going. Did you call your doctor?" He asks me, walking to the closet to get dressed. "I will call on the way. You still have the bag in the trunk, right?" I ask and he nods, turning to look at me. He stops for a moment, walking closer and pressing a kiss on my forehead. "She is coming." He says excitedly before he bends down to press a kiss on my bump. "I know... We should wake Joy up..." I reply as he stands up and goes back to getting dressed. "Let her. I will call Mikey and Crystal. They'll come over to take care of Joy. We have already talked about it." He replies, going to the nightstand to pick up his phone. "She will be sad when she finds out we went without her." I state but Calum hums. "She will see her baby sister and forget everything." He replies, chuckling softly. "She still doesn't have a name..." I sigh, earning a hum from him. "Well, we will have to come up with one, very soon." He replies, pressing a kiss on my forehead.

"You'll be inside the delivery room with me, right?" I ask Calum as I calm down from the contraction. They have become more frequent, more powerful, which only means I am getting closer to holding our baby in my arms. "Of course, if you want me to be." He replies, pressing a towel on my forehead to mop up my sweat. "You know, when I found out I was pregnant, I pictured myself all alone... Going to doctor appointments, having all the milestones by myself. But I pictured going in labor with you. You were there, holding my hand and telling me that you love me... Every time I pictured myself in that room, you were there... It's pretty much the reason I came to your house that night and told you about the baby." I state, taking his hand in mine. "I am here. And you'll never have to do anything alone. I can promise you that." He replies, pressing a kiss on my knuckles. "I am scared..." I admit, but he brings his forehead to rest on mine, nuzzling his nose against mine. "You will do amazingly. You are already amazing to our Joy, and you are the bravest person I know. You are a freaking superhero and I am in complete awe of you at all times." He states, kissing the tip of my nose.

Chiara Stella Hood joined the world on the 18th of June, at 6:25 in the morning. From the moment I saw her, I knew that there won't be a moment in my life that I won't love her with my whole heart. Calum hasn't left a moment, keeping a close eye on our daughter as she does pretty much anything. From letting out her first cry to suckling on my breast, his eyes haven't left her for a second. And I really can't blame him. "Michael says they are bringing Joy over in 20 minutes." Calum yawns, sitting closer to us on my bed. He brings his fingers to graze Chiara's little blanket as she blinks softly at us, while I put my gown back on. "You hear that, little lady... You are going to meet your big sister and your godparents..." I coo at the baby, as her father picks her up to hold her. "Joy is going to be so excited..." He says as I lean my head on his shoulder. "She has your eyes... Both of our children have your eyes." I state, running my thumb over the baby's chubby cheek. "I know... She is gorgeous, baby. I can't stop looking at her. Thank you." He turns to look at me, pressing a kiss on my lips. "For what?" I giggle softly. "For her... For carrying her, for telling me, for keeping her safe and healthy... Thank you." He replies, bopping her little nose. "We have the cutest little family. You are going to be such an amazing girl dad." I yawn a little; I am so tired from the delivery, but I can't wait for Joy to be here so she can meet the baby, so I just push through. "You need sleep." Calum comments; his voice has become raspy and groggy, coated with sleepiness. "You too. After Joy leaves, I am going to nap a bit. And you should get home, rest a lot because you will be on diaper duty for sooo long." I tease him and he chuckles. "I am not leaving you. I'll sleep on the chair a bit." He replies. "You should head home and spend some time with Joy... I don't want her feeling ignored now that Chiara is here." I state and he hums. "You are an angel, you know that?" He asks me and I nod. "I am aware, yes." I chuckle.

Joy runs into the room, gasping as she sees me holding the swaddled baby. "Mommy." She cheers, stopping at the edge of the bed as Michael and Crystal walk in after her. "Hey, bunny." I smile at her while Calum moves to help her get up on the bed. "This is your baby sister, Chiara Stella Hood. It means bright star in Latin." Calum states, stroking Joy's hair. "So now we have a Luna and a Stella. A moon, and a star." I explain, showing the baby to Joy. She looks at her in awe, love dripping from her eyes. "She is so pretty." She comments, staring at the baby girl. "Wanna hold her?" I ask her, making her gasp and look at me. "Can I?" She looks at me and then Calum. "Of course. Daddy will help you, ok?" I hand the baby, who complains a little but only for a moment, to Calum, who in turn shows Joy how to hold her sister. "She is so little." Crystal coos, leaning closer to take a look at the baby. "Just 6lbs and 19 inches. She is a tiny star." Calum jokes. "Joy, can we let uncle Michael and aunt Crystal hold Chiara for a little?" Calum asks, but Joy protests. "She is my sister..." She grumbles, making me smile. "I know, baby. But she is also their goddaughter... Like you are uncle Luke's." Calum explains, making Joy hand him the baby reluctantly. "Are you for real?" Michael asks, picking the baby up. "If you want to, yes." I reply and they nod, while I reach to hug Joy. "It would be an honor." Crystal adds, getting closer to Michael so she can look at the baby too. "I got something for the baby." Joy says, pointing at the paper bag that rests on the edge of the bed. Calum hands it to her, sitting near us as well. "Daddy says that I had this blankey since I was a baby. And I want Chiara to have it too." She says, handing me a little lilac blanket. I coo, my heart melting over it. "This is so sweet of you, bunny. Chiara is going to love it." I press a kiss on her forehead. "Auntie Crystal washed it so it smells nice." Joy states, turning to look at her sister. "It is lovely, bunny. I love you and your sister is going to love this so much." I hug her, making her hug me back. "When are you coming home with the baby, mommy?" She asks me, still not letting me go. "In a few days, baby. We need to make sure the baby and I are both healthy. But when we are back home, we are going to spend all day long, me, you and the little baby, napping and reading fairy tales." I say, pressing a kiss on her forehead. "Can daddy join you girls too?" Calum asks, pinching Joy's cheek before Crystal hands me Chiara, who has fallen asleep again. "Only if he promises to bring us food." I joke, smiling at my husband.

Our little, perfect family. And it all began because Calum was late picking up Joy from my class.

My Masterlist /  Single Dad!Calum x Preschool Teacher! (Y/N)

[iridescentjin]

In The Arms of Morpheus - Ch. 1

Series Summary: Greek god Morpheus!yoongi x villager!reader

Series Genre: Angst, Fluff, Eventual Smut

Chapter Summary: When you get to make the pilgrimage to Mount Olympus for the first time, you meet some unexpected troubles.

Chapter Genre: Honestly just exposition and background building

Chapter Warnings: some description of injuries, some slightly bullying

Chapter WC: 3856

a/n: This is the first chapter of at least 5 chapters, and I am really excited about this series. I hope you all like it. It’s slightly more edited than usual, but I didn’t try that hard.

Nestled within the mountains and forests below the Land of the Gods, a sleepy little village bustled with preparations for that year’s pilgrimage to the base of Mount Olympus. Each year, the youth of the village travel to leave an offering to The Gods. Though no one has seen or heard from any of The Gods in hundreds of years, the tradition is one that has persisted throughout the existence of the village.

You were packing your small backpack for the trip when your mother entered the room. She walked to you and ran her hand over your hair, which was hanging loose down your back. She had always been gentle with you, like if she touched you too hard you might break.

“Now, you’re sure you’re fine going? You have everything you need? You could wait another year or two.” she asked as she started to braid your hair.

“Yes, mom. For the hundredth time, I’m fine. I’m in my 20s, and I’m not made of glass. I can do this. I’m glad I finally get to go,” you responded, a little exasperated.

She finished the plaits in your hair and tied a ribbon around the end, and you wriggled out of her grasp and stood across the room from her. It’s not that you didn’t love her or appreciate her concern, but you were the only person in the village who, by your mid-twenties, had still never gone on the pilgrimage. Everyone in the village treated you the same way, and they had even given you the nickname “The Glass Princess.”

When you were younger, your body was too weak, so you were bedridden for most of your childhood. You didn’t have the opportunity to live the normal life of a child. The healer from your village had traveled far to other villages searching for the mystical Elder Root, and finally, she had bartered some of her evening primrose, echinacea, and lavender for a small trimming the plant. She made the journey back to your village and made the Elder Root into a tonic. After 2 weeks, you had the strength to stand up. After one year, you were healthy enough to attend school, even though your mother would never let you.

You learned everything at home, patiently sitting each day while your mom braided your hair, and reading as many books as you could. You read all about the times of The Gods and the way the world used to be. You overheard your mother talking with your grandmother and the healer about when The Gods still appeared in the mortal realm, helping when they could or tricking humans. They complained about how they wished The Gods were there now to help with the great famine of the land.

That day, you decided that you would try to figure out why The Gods abandoned humans. In all of your research, you had never found a clear answer to what The Gods wanted in the mortal realm. You had decided that they had actually never existed because what kind of immortal creatures would let the people they were said to care about fall into such a deep and unrelenting hardship. You hardly told anyone that you believed that The Gods weren’t real, and when you felt comfortable enough to tell people, a few of them had told you that they couldn’t associate with a non-believer.

Your friend, Hoseok, was the only one who supported you. He still believed, but he always told you that it was your right to not believe. No one treated you more like a regular person than Hoseok did. He goofed around with you, shoving you gently when you made bad jokes. You thought that, perhaps, when you were older, you might like to marry someone compassionate and understanding like Hoseok. Something always kept you from saying this to him.

This year for the pilgrimage, Hoseok had agreed to accompany you, even though he had gone several times already. He smiled brightly as you rambled over and over about your excitement to leave the village for the first time. You had been waiting for this moment for so long, and you went through waves of bubbling excitement and overwhelming anxiety.

Over the course of the week, you had kept your hands occupied all day every day by sewing, knitting, helping your mother cook, and even making daisy chains with Hoseok in the fields of wildflowers beside your house.

“You know you don’t have to do this, right?” Hoseok asked, and you could tell by his tone that he was trying not to offend you.

“I don’t have to do it, Hoseok. I want to do it. I’m just different than everyone else in that I’ve never even been into the forest outside of the village.” Your fingers stopped twisting the flowers, and you set them aside and grabbed Hoseok’s hands, looking deeply into his eyes. “And I have you, right? That’s all I need to make it.”

Hoseok blushed slightly, but he smiled a huge shiot shaped grin at you. He took the flowers in his hand and placed them on top of your head.

“This color looks really good with your hair,” he giggled, moving to rebraid your hair with the flowers in it.

With Hoseok’s reassurance, you had made it to the day that you were going to leave. You hugged your mother and joined Hoseok with the group of young adults, carrying different types of bags and baskets with them for the trip. Overall, it should only take about six hours, so you all met while the morning dew was still clinging to the blades of grass in the village center. After everyone was accounted for, you all left on your way toward the forest.

As you crossed the field of tall grass, you turned back to see your mother right before she disappeared into the distance. At the edge of the forest, you turned to Hoseok, who smiled and took your hand.

“You’ve got this,” he whispered in your ear.

Once in the forest, the world seemed different. It was quieter and calmer. The dampness mixed with muskiness of the earth below your feet wafted into your nose. Combined with the smell of the damp leaves on the trees, it was unlike anything you had ever experienced before. You are immediately in love with everything that the trees have to offer.

You kept looking straight up into the canopy, and the twigs and roots on the path caused you to trip a little bit. Eventually Hoseok grabbed you by the arm to steady and lead you while you marveled at the way the light danced between the leaves when the wind blew and how the branches from different trees mingled with one another, causing different colors and shapes of leaves to bleed together as if they were one.

It was nothing like the two or three trees bunched together that you’d experienced before, and your eyes started to well up with tears as you thanked the Gods (even though you didn’t believe in them) for the opportunity to leave the village for once.

You and Hoseok lagged behind the rest of the group because of your enchantment by every facet of the forest. Hoseok didn’t seem to mind, just pulled you along a little more quickly when you started to fall too far behind. The path through the forest wound through the thickest parts of the forest, where the trees were so dense that hardly any light peaked through at points. You felt like you’d been walking all day long when you finally emerged from the winding path to the base of the mountain.

It stretches high above you and paints the sky a light, heathered green until treeline, and the gray top of the peak and white snow are surrounded by clouds.You have to catch your breath, as it is the most massive thing you’ve ever seen. The expanse of the entire mountain range overwhelms your senses, and you cannot believe that you’ve spent your whole life looking at these from a distance. Up close, the mountains are both staggering and much less threatening. When you look at them, it feels like you could definitely hike up the winding switchbacks on your own easily.

Before you start to climb up the foothills, the group decides to take a break to eat and drink. The entire group sits together in the shade of one of the trees on the edge of the forest, cheerfully chattering as they eat. None of the others talk to you and Hoseok, but you don’t mind. You blather on and on about the smells and sights and feel of the forest, as you run your fingers through the moist dirt, pinching small pebbles between your fingers and tossing them aside.

“Hey, glass girl, are you sure that you can make it up that hill?” one boy calls from the otherside of the circle.

“Of course she can!” Hoseok immediately shoots back at him. He’s always been protective of you, but you know that he knows how important this is to you. You place your hand on his knee, and whisper “it’s fine.”

“No, y/n, it’s really really not fine,” he says curtly. “They will always see you as the Glass Princess, and it isn’t right. They should be mocking you for the fact that you were sick.”

“Hoseok, you know that, and I know that. It’s not worth the fight.”

He sighs heavily. “Fine, but if he does it again, I’m gonna punch him.”

You laugh at Hoseok’s words because you know he would never hurt anyone unless he really had to. Hoseok’s frown finally fades into a smile as you talk more about what the rest of the day holds. You only have about half an hour left to hike up the hill to the shrine of the Gods, then you’ll all head back to the village, resuming your lives like normal.

Finally, the group decides to pack up and head out before the sun is too high in the sky, scorching your skin when you are between the trees.

The hike is more difficult than you imagined it would be, the gradual grade upward making your calves burn and your breath come out in shallow pants. Hoseok stays by your side, but he does giggle as you continue to tell him that you don’t need help between heavy breaths. The hike is a little difficult for you, a girl who has never been outside of her village, but you catch up to the rest of the group.

As you crest the small hill, you see the shrine, shining in the sun. It’s gorgeous and blinding. The golden slab has an elaborate illustration of Zeus atop mount Olympus surrounded by Hera, Ares, Dionynus, Hypnos, Athena, and Apollo. Even though you didn’t believe in their existence, you were required to learn about the Gods from your mother when you were a child. You could name all of the major ones, but you hadn’t given enough time to any of the Gods who weren’t etched into this shrine.

The group sets to work at cleaning the shrine and preparing to leave the offering for the Gods. You and Hoseok begin to clean up the cloth from the last offering, gathering it into your bag and replacing it with new clean cloth. Others clean the golden plaque or lay the fruits, breads, and oils on top of the cloth.

When it’s finished, you all stand back and admire the work that you’ve done. It looks like a beautiful setting, a beautiful offering. You wish that it was going to anyone or anything besides the birds scavenging the mountains, but you are still proud of how it looks.

The teens start talking about Hyacinth Ridge amongst themselves, about how beautiful the purples, whites, and pinks are among the trees on the side of the mountain. Your ears perk up because hyacinths don’t grow in the field by your house, and you would give anything to see, smell, and collect them.

“Hey, are you all going to Hyacinth Ridge!?” you call out to them.

“What? The Glass Princess wants to hike the ridge? Really?” one young girl asks in a snarky tone. “Do you think you can make it?”

“Of course, I can make it. I’m not going to break!” you exclaim a little louder and more defensive than you mean to. You blush as they all look at you. “I just want to see the Hyacinths.”

A small faction from the group decides to spend an extra hour to go up to the ridge and see the beauty of the flowers. At first, Hoseok is hesitant to go, but when you are insistent that you are going, he rolls his eyes and joins the group.

The hike is a little more difficult than the first hill, but the boys up front keep calling back that it’s just a little while further. You feel the heat of the sun in your cheeks, and you know they are reddening. Your mother will be so upset when you show up with pink cheeks and ears, but you don’t care because you are so thrilled to be on that mountain.

You come around the corner to a gorgeous, deep green forest that looks different from the forest at the base of the mountain. Sporadic sprouts of hyacinth sit at the bases of trees, lining the forest floor. The further you walk, the more and more flowers fill the space. You squeal with excitement as you see them all, in all different shades. You stop to pick some of the white flowers from the side of the path and place them into your bag gently. You see some of the pink flowers a little deeper into the forest, you silently pad across the forest floor to pluck some of the pink sprouts. When you look up, you can’t figure out from which direction you came.

You spin frantically around, looking for the path. There is no way that you had wandered that far because you can hear the faint giggles of the group, but their laughs echo off the trees making it impossible to figure out from which direction they came.

“Hoseok!!!” you yell as loudly as you can, searching for any sign of him or the others. God you are so stupid! you think to yourself. y/n, you are so stupid.

You hear your name faintly from somewhere, and you try to walk toward it. You keep calling out for Hoseok while you move. Unfortunately, the sound gets fainter and fainter the further you walk. You begin to cry as you tread through the wooded area. You know that if you don’t go up, eventually you will have to come back down the mountain.

After what feels like hours of walking, you finally emerge onto a rocky face of the mountain. Even though it goes against your instincts, you decide to hike up a little higher to try to get an aerial view to see if you can see the path.

You work your way upward then follow a small, flat area. Your feet slip on the loose rocks, and you lose your footing on the edge of the incline. As you fall, you cry out for Hoseok. The last thing that you remember is the pain of the jagged rocks one after another as you rolled down the side of the mountain. You screamed at first, but the impact knocked the breath from your lungs. You had no choice but to allow yourself to tumble down the side, accepting that you were going to die. Your mother had been right to be afraid. And then it was black.

The first thing within the blackness is the pain. You become aware more and more of the pain. Seemingly every inch of your body is screaming. You feel your ragged breath filling your lungs, and every movement of your chest hurts. You open your eyes, and, at least, your eyelids don’t cause any more pain.

You are in a dark place. Maybe a room. You can’t really tell or process. You see a few lights spread around. There are three figures in the corner, but they don’t look quite human. They are too far in the shadows and your brain is too fuzzy to make out what is so different about them, but you can’t tell if they are friend or foe.

You try to cry out to them, instead making a squeaky whimper. All three heads whip around to look at you. They whisper amongst themselves, and one of the figures approaches you. From where you are lying, he looks tall and slender with a shock of tousled black hair atop his head. When his face is illuminated by a candle on the table nearest to you, you gasp causing a sharp pain in your ribs. Not only is he painfully gorgeous with soft features, thick lips, wide and angled eyes, and a piercing stare, but you are sure that you’ve seen him before. You couldn’t quite place him. But you knew you had.

He shushes you instead of saying any words and slips into the space behind you. As his face is illuminated by the candle near you, you see his face.

He had come to you in dreams. Usually, you were in a mundane scenario when he appeared. He would deliver some weird cryptic message that he said you were supposed to apply to your life, and then you would return to your dream. You would never forget the first time that he had come to you, and he had warned you that your grandfather would be involved in an accident.

When you awoke, his face was burned behind your eyelids, but you thought nothing of it. However, the next day, on a ride to the market, a snake spooked your grandfather’s horse causing it to buck him off and take off into the woods. Your grandfather broke some of his ribs and hit his head hard enough that he was unable to work for weeks. After you heard the news, you immediately tried to remember the man’s face, but it was just a vague blur of features.

Since then, every time he’s come to you, you’ve fought to remember his words and his face upon waking, taking every possible precaution based on his warnings. No, you would never ever mistake that face when you were asleep. You must be dreaming now. But...why were you in so much pain still?

“You,” you whisper in a barely audible tone, throat dry and rough.

“Shhh,” he says and begins to wrap his arms around your mangled body.

“No…” you try to fight, but you find yourself relaxing into his chest. Unable to fight the sleep that overcomes you while being held in his embrace.

…

“You can’t just keep her here, Yoongi. She recognized you.” The woman, his mother, Pasithea, hisses at him as he lays you back against the pillows and walks toward her.

“What am I supposed to do then? Let her die out there? You know that without treatment she’ll die. Ascelpius will be here soon, and he will heal her. I’ll just stay with her tonight,” he whispers, through his frustration.

Even though he would never admit it, Yoongi was fond of mortals because he had to interact with them so much. After you hold people in your arms so much, you can’t help but feel concerned for their frail bodies, minds, and hearts. Mortals were so much warmer, physically and emotionally, than the other Gods. They let their minds imagine wild scenes while their bodies rested. The Gods were so fixed in reality; humans had imagination.

His mother sighs, “Fine. But only until she can be healed.”

She stalks out of the room, leaving Yoongi alone. He pulls a stool up and watches you sleep. Your brow finally relaxes, leaving behind red creases. He smiles to himself at how helpless and frail you look. Something about your humanity excites him and makes him feel comfortable around you.

As Yoongi sits there through the dark minutes, he thinks that perhaps the reason that humans can sit with their dying loved ones and watch them sleep is because eventually they fall asleep themselves. Without the need for sleep, Yoongi sits in the chair bored for a while, and then he remembers that he has messages to take to the mortal realm. You are restless, and he worries for you but can’t just sit in that chair for the rest of the night.

He stalks out of the room to track down his brother, Taehyung - known to the mortal realm as Phantasus - to stay with the girl. He knows that Taehyung would be willing to take a night off for once, whereas his other brother, the third of the Oneiroi, would be of no comfort to him.

Yoongi existed to help humans sleep, to help them process their experiences, and to help them receive messages from the Gods. Taehyung existed to allow the humans to fully explore their imaginations, see the fantastical creatures their own minds were capable of creating if only they relaxed. Their other brother, Seokjin - known to the mortals as Phobetor - ironically delivered terrified dreams to the mortals and scared them. Though the humans learned a lot through these nightmares, Seokjin himself was so easily scared because he had seen so many terrifying things.

Yoongi spots Taehyung in the hall. Only their mother and Taehyung knew that the girl was hidden in one of the empty caves within the Palace of Hypnos. Yoongi waves his younger brother over, more frantically than he would have wished. He rolls his eyes at himself as Tae draws nearer to him, and Yoongi holds a finger over his lips.

“What?” Tae whispers.

“Do you think you can stay with the human for a while? I have some messages from Zeus to deliver, and you know how he gets when you make him wait.”

Yoongi tries to be as casual with his tone as possible. He isn’t sure why, but he wants Tae so badly to care for you. He wants his mother to stay away from you, even though she agreed to let you stay overnight. He knew that as soon as Ascelpius came and saw you, his mother would send you out alone on the mountain with no direction or supplies.

Tae smiles at him. “I’m not sure why she means so much to you, but you got it, hyung.”

Yoongi smiles slightly and claps his brother on the back. “Thank you, Taehyung! I’ll be back shortly after sun up.”

He walks quickly down the hall, leading Taehyung to you. He catches one more glimpse of your soft features in the pale candle light before he crosses through the river and waterfall out of the entrance to the Palace, and he skulks off into the night toward one of the nearby villages.

[you-are-my-neverland]

[id: a header with a dark blue background and a square picture of a blue cityscape. the metamorphosis of the lost: an update is centered in white text /end id]

otherwise known as it’s officially halfway through nano and i’m past halfway to my goal, so i figured i should probably scrape together a post. 

things i’ve done so far:

made 30k

finally decided to split the plot into seven ‘acts’ (already had the whole plot, but felt it needed some divided lines). insofar they’re called revival, rebirth, relapse, revolution, requiem, revenant, and remnant (yes. re- words because why not. there are some good ones.)

on that note, i’ve written all of act one, which would sound impressive if you didn’t know that act one is just the exposition, and is basically just june escaping and india dying. act two picks up the story five months later (six months total since the aforementioned events, there is a month skip in act one for reasons)

thought long and hard about how monstrous this work is going to be. mostly because i have a talent of makings lots of words where they need only be a few words and then doing that for every single word. 

wrote a lot of words! some good, some not good and not bad. some parts i definitely wrote and they did not go the way i was picturing, but that’s okay, because they happened, and that’s what first drafts are for. 

wrote june pov, india pov (actually one of the best parts, but hey), vin pov, and emrys pov (i have too many povs. i actually don’t have a problem with this, because i just sort of write in the pov i feel is fitting, so like...yeah.)

vin pov ended up being kind of hard, because i feel like i have a really good grasp of his character, but he’s so complex that he’s hard to put on the page. he and june have similar narrative tones in a way, and india and emrys also do. (there are so many other pov though. so many. my head is in my hands)

another thing i had to tackle was developing india and her various relationships, because the novel starts with her dying, and then the people who were her family are kind of her enemies, and she doesn’t really interact with them much, so the bond they have is so much telling, through memory and flashback, which can be kind of difficult, but i’m working on it.

also, unrelated to nano, worked on a writing portfolio. i have to find/revise/write one more work and then revise my artist statement before uploading everything

turned in seven of my eight college apps...have to make a short portfolio and cw resume for my last one, which i will figure out...in some time

some of my favorite lines (from act i) so far (ft. kevla as an entity, grief, and weaponry): 

Kevla was a city that had been built as it grew, without confinement to a grid, and the streets mirrored it, a tight patchwork of impossible directions. The only way you learned how to navigate was by getting lost until you learned it.

Was it love, if all Kevla had done was try and kill her, and yet allowed her to survive time and time again?

It was one thing to chase danger just by living, but another to look into the maw of a starving monster and venture forwards anyways. Not that India was one to talk. She’d done her fair share of monster hunting.

The Greenwood was, in many ways, a place of hauntings and ghosts, of people who had walked in and vanished into the undergrowth, only to be seen in twisted hallucinations amidst the vines and tangles of flowers.

India couldn’t tell if his clothing was stained, because it was all black, but sometimes, if he shifted into the light of the lightbulb, the pale white would catch on the dark red of her own blood.

“Don’t worry,” the Black Saint said. “Nobody plans on dying.”

“Maybe not,” the Black Saint murmured. “But it makes no difference what you think you are, or what the world thinks you are. You’re still paying for someone else’s sins. You’re still out here, not even dying for a cause.”

The Saint spat blood out through his mask, staining the curled bones of his mask red with it. His eyes were golden, the glitter staining Vin’s gloves.

The secrets of the past were one thing, but the truth they lived was another.

To return to ashes was an honor. Leaving a body to decompose, to become skeletal, was no mercy. The dead should stay dead, even if he, and the rest of them, hadn’t.

There were times when he sought out the pain, just to try and understand what it was. He had been taught to not let it stop him, to never slow down, and soon it had been to not feel it at all. Now, he studied the aches and twinges, the burning in his veins, the raised scars that covered his skin, and tried to remember the feelings attached to them.

His knuckles were covered in blood and she had died covered in her own and there was nothing, nothing that he could have done, but that didn’t matter, because she was dead, and there was no redemption to be had, and none to give.

She felt like a weeping wound, salt seeping through the cracks instead of blood, all raw and tender, refusing to heal all the way.

“India was your friend,” Vin said, rising to his feet. “And tragedy isn’t a game. It’s not about who suffers more, and losing people doesn’t ever mean that it gets easier. Give yourself time.”

Kevla was drenched in red reflections, the vivid lights seeping into the perpetually soaked pavement.

They were a blight, and June needed to cut away the rot, because no one else could see it, and if they couldn’t see it, then they wouldn’t believe it was there.

It would be easy to lose, easy to accidentally hurt herself, if she wanted to. If she didn’t know how to hold it so carefully, how to always be ready to hurt someone else.

Maybe her mind felt tricked, believed that she was coming home now that she was back in the grit and grime she had grown up in. The joke was on herself then. June wasn’t coming home. There was nothing left to go back to.

There was no flesh sloughing off her body, no fire licking at her heels like a friend and then a monster, one that wanted to eat and eat away at her. No man with a black skeletal face and saintly eyes to stare at her, unmoving. Her hands could close.

taglist. (let me know if you want in) @cannivalisms

[iloveyou3thousand]

Winterspider prompts, that I'm really into: fake dating becomes real date (like Bucky going with out with Peter because Peter was never on a date before and want to know how it is), one bed/one blanket trope, jealous Bucky/Peter, self insecure Peter who thinks no one ever want to be with him cause of some irrational reasons, friends to lovers and last, but no least, Peter really liking Bucky but thinking that Bucky deserves more than him.

Okay I tried to incorporate as many of your favorites as possible and this is what it turned out as, I hope it’s okay!!

——————————————————————————————

Peter would never have thought that losing power at Stark Tower could be such a big deal. He had always figured that, with Tony being his clever self and everything, they’d surely have several generators at the ready to keep things going.

And…they did. Or, they would have, if they hadn’t lost power on the same exact day that Steve had taken it upon himself to help Tony out with their generators, and had put that brute strength of his to…semi-good use. Or, too good.

JARVIS had informed all of them in a pleasant tone of voice that the building would be in lockdown until Tony managed to fix the backup generators, which Peter could only assume was going to take a while, considering the fact that the sun was about to go down and he knew how much Mr. Stark hated working without decent lighting.

Peter didn’t think he would mind a total lockdown so much, although JARVIS’ countdown until the complete power outage was a bit on the creepy side.

Maybe he would have minded more if he’d known that the security protocol that kicked in on the last count was about to lock him into Bucky Barnes’ room.

Peter was sitting on the carpet with a notepad on his knee, legs crossed, looking up to where Bucky sat on the edge of his bed. He’d been working on a history project for school, and knowing that with two actual fossils at his disposal he’d definitely get a good grade, he’d decided to focus on their stories.

So far things had been going well. Peter had never seen Bucky open up about his life so much, to the point where he was smiling as he told Peter about life before the war, and before things had gone bad. How he’d taken his favorite dames dancing, how he’d gone to Howard Stark’s first exposition, and patched up his buddy Steve after another one of his fights. With the way Bucky’s eyes lit up as he told Peter about it, Peter could barely concentrate. It was like he could picture it all. And although Peter couldn’t dance for the life of him, he wondered what it would be like to dance with Bucky, just right there in the middle of his room.

Their interview had been cut short by JARVIS’ message and the following countdown. Bucky looked alarmed but calm, just like Peter did. That was, until the once open door out into the hallway behind them swung shut slowly, and deadbolted a second before Peter managed to shoot up and try to stop it.

“What? What just happened…” He asked, throwing Bucky a look over his shoulder. Bucky looked significantly more alarmed now.

“I’m…guessing that’s protocol.”

Peter immediately took out his phone and texted Tony, who responded within seconds with an affirmative. Okay. Security protocol. Was there any way to override it? No. Was there any way they could get out of the room without brute force? Also no. Peter suddenly felt claustrophobic.

He flopped back down on the rug defeatedly. “It’s protocol,” Peter informed Bucky, “And Mr. Stark and Mr. Rogers and working on it, so… Hopefully it shouldn’t take too long?”

They agreed to continue on Peter’s interview until the only way that Peter could see his notepad was by using his phone to light his way, which definitely wasn’t ideal. He also couldn’t help but notice that the longer the lockdown lasted, the less relaxed Bucky seemed, now sitting a little stiffly on the edge of the bed with his expression pinched in the dark.

Peter wasn’t sure if he had any right to ask but he realized that he’d been doing most of the talking for the past ten minutes and that Bucky had barely said a word and that was not a good sign, even for him.

He was used to talking other people’s ears off and he knew that Bucky had always kind of been the quieter type but this felt off.

“Are you okay?” Peter asked tentatively, capping his pen and putting it down so that he could focus all of his attention on Bucky.

The other gives Peter a tight smile and visibly tries to loosen his shoulders. It seems forced.

“I’m sure you can imagine why I don’t exactly like the dark,” he said slowly, and Peter looked at him with wide eyes and a nod. Yeah, he could imagine. Bucky had so many reasons why he wouldn’t like the dark. From the top of his head Peter could think of at least five, most of which had to do with the war, and maybe cryo. Bucky didn’t talk about that a lot but the comments he’d made on the subject still sent a shiver down Peter’s spine simply remembering them now.

“Or the quiet,” Bucky added, and Peter was acutely aware of how he’d been stuck inside his own head for the past minute or so.

“Right!” He piped up, “Right. Gotcha. Don’t like the quiet. Well, that’s something I can help.”

But how?

Because the thing about Peter’s abundant talking was that he was acutely aware of his oversharing, and yet never had any way of stopping it – and then, after, he always felt like he’d said too much. He wanted to avoid that happening with Bucky, because Bucky was… Different. Peter wanted so desperately for him to like him that he was always afraid he was saying too much. And Bucky was so nice that he’d probably never point it out to him either.

“Maybe you could tell me more about those dames?” Peter tried to tease lightly, hoping to take Bucky’s mind off the fact they were in lockdown and back to things that had made him smile so beautifully just minutes ago.

Bucky looked at Peter, and he seemed to relax just a little, as if thinking about it alone helped calm him down.

Peter jumped up and dropped his notepad to the nearby desk along with his pen, toed out of his shoes, and crawled up onto Bucky’s bed so that he’d be level with him this time around. The look Bucky sent him made him suddenly feel self-conscious about what he’d just done but he feigned confidence and gave him a big, encouraging smile in return.

Bucky told him more about the time before the war. Peter didn’t need to write anything down because technically he didn’t need any of this for his project, but that didn’t stop him from memorizing every little detail.

He told him more about the dances, about the kind of places one would go out to during those times, what they ate, how they slept, and about living together with Steve Rogers.

Bucky’s life in that time seemed so glamorous, and he’d been so popular among the ladies. It made Peter painfully aware of how he’d never been popular. Not even in the slightest. He’s been bullied most of his life and only had two close friends, he did fine in school and stayed out of trouble for the most part and while he’d had a girlfriend before he definitely was no heartthrob. But Bucky… Peter could picture him. He would have been so popular at Peter’s school.

Bucky would never have been friends with him if they’d gone to school together.

That realization shouldn’t have come as a surprise and yet it kind of stung.

It got later and later and eventually the subject came back to the lockdown, and Peter checked his phone, but there were no updates from Tony yet and the door was still locked. It seemed they were going to be stuck all night.

They dragged out their conversation as long as they could but inevitably came the moment when they both decided it would be better if they just went to sleep. That way hopefully by tomorrow the power would be back up, or at least it would be light out again.

“I’ll sleep on the floor,” Peter suggested as Bucky stood to get ready.

“No you won’t. I’ll sleep on the floor. I’ve done it before.”

“Yeah, which is exactly why you should sleep in the bed. I’m young. And—resilient. And all that good stuff.”

Bucky opened up a closet and looked through it for a moment before he turned to Peter with a shirt and chucked it in his direction.

“Or we’ll both sleep in the bed. It’s big enough.” And with that Bucky wandered into the bathroom, leaving Peter to panic.

They were going to sleep in the same bed. Tonight. Bucky and him. He and Bucky. In the same bed. Together. Tonight.

Okay.

Peter changed out of his clothes and into the shirt Bucky had given him quickly. He pinched at the shoulders of the shirt that hang loosely around his frame and marveled at just how broad Bucky had to be to fit into that the way he did. Bucky came out of the bathroom just as he was doing that, and when Peter looked up he looked amused.

“What?” He asked. Peter felt his face go warm and dropped his hands to his bare knees.

“Nothing. Just—big.”

They lied down together, side by side, once Peter had had his turn in the bathroom. Just a minute ago, when he’d come out he thought he’d caught Bucky looking at the point where his shirt ended in the hem and his thighs began, but it was too dark to really be sure.

Peter realized the silence was stretching on again and, wanting to help Bucky forget about whatever thoughts flooded his mind in this kind of silence, he asked; “Would you ever go back if you had the chance?”

When Bucky turned his head to look at him, so did Peter, and after another moment he turned onto his side, which Bucky, in turn, mirrored just the same.

“I don’t think so,” Bucky replied, quietly in the dark, “Things are different, nowadays. As much fun as I had back then I don’t think I would. Besides, I’ve got so much here that’s keeping me right where I am.”

“Like Google?” Peter asked.

“Sure. Like Google.” Maybe it was stupid, but it made Bucky smile, and when Bucky smiled Peter’s heart soared.

“It helps that people nowadays are so much more accepting,” Bucky continued, “Of practically everything. I woulda been in big trouble if I hadn’t gone out with all those gals I mentioned.”

Peter looked puzzled. “Why?”

“Why? I was a guy living with his best guy friend with no ladies around. I would’ve gotten caught and persecuted if I hadn’t.”

There was something about the phrasing that caught Peter a bit off guard. Did that mean what he thought it meant? Could it? Or maybe he was looking too much into it. Evidently his surprise showed on his face, because Bucky huffed a breathy chuckle and gave Peter another one of those damned smiles.

“Don’t worry Peter. I wouldn’t kiss you.”

Peter’s face shouldn’t have fallen but it did. A little bit.

“You wouldn’t?”

He quickly scrambled to right his wrong, heart beating quickly with the panic rising in his chest because Bucky was looking at him a certain way that he couldn’t quite decipher and Peter had to remind himself that this was a skilled and trained assassin he was talking to, someone who’d done much worse than what he’d get for his slipup if he was lucky.

“I mean—Right. Yeah. No. I know that. Of course I know that you wouldn’t kiss me. That’s not what I expected. At all. I mean, it’s not even what I want, obviously. I hadn’t even thought about it until you just mentioned it, ha ha. Yeah, no. Ew. Gross…” Peter trailed off with a lump in his throat and ice in his stomach and that stupid, creeping feeling of not enough, never enough.

Bucky’s expression changed slightly, but it was still mostly unreadable, and Peter’s panic only flared up further. Had he said the wrong thing now? Oh god, he’d insulted him. He’d insulted James Buchanan Barnes, arguably the most handsome Avenger when Thor was out of the country, and definitely one of the nicest to him personally. Peter’s chances at getting with him had already been gargantuanly bad and low and now he’d completely annihilated whatever had been leftover from previous attempts at getting Bucky to like him and failing miserably.

Maybe it didn’t matter. Peter would never do right by him anyway. It sucked but it was the truth.

“Peter?” Bucky’s voice got his attention through the myriad of his thoughts buzzing in his brain, and he blinked to focus on the face in front of him. Bucky’s hand was on his cheek. He’d probably been a little too lost in thought.

“I’m sorry,” Peter murmured, “I didn’t mean that.”

There was a long pause between them in which Bucky seemed to mull over something, his thumb seemingly absently brushing over Peter’s cheek and it drove him a little wild.

“Neither did I.”

It didn’t matter whether or not Peter understood what Bucky meant when he said that because Bucky’s fingers were in the hairs at the back of Peter’s neck and the boy watched as Bucky shifted closer to lean in and brush the most tentative kiss to Peter’s lips that he had ever been given.

It was short, soft and brief, and Peter wasn’t sure it happened when there was distance between them once again in the next moment.

But it definitely had.

“Was that…bad?” Bucky asked, sounding unsure.

“No,” Peter responded quickly, “No, not— that wasn’t—”

“So…”

“So we should… Yeah, should try that again.”

This time when Bucky leaned in, Peter was prepared. A tentative hand reached out to Bucky’s chest while the other stayed close to his own body, fingers sprawling over firm muscle as Bucky pressed a kiss to the corner of his mouth first, as if testing, searching, and then connected their lips most tenderly again, something Peter had no trouble melting into on this second try.

Despite the fact that Bucky was careful, his skill was evident, if only in the way he pulled Peter closer to his chest and made him feel like there was nothing else in the world he’d rather do at that moment. Nothing about their kiss could have convinced him that it was Bucky’s first attempt at kissing another man.

Peter settled into Bucky’s arms like he belonged there, trying not to shiver beneath the man’s metal arm and instead focusing on their mouths moving together slowly until they broke apart so both of them could process what had just happened.

When Peter could breathe a little better, he asked, “I thought you said…”

“I said what I thought you’d want to hear.” Bucky at least had the decency to look sheepish.

Peter sputtered for a moment as if that was the most ridiculous thing he’d ever heard. “Obviously not.”

“Obviously not.”

Peter dropped his head and rested it against Bucky’s chest for a minute, though when his eye caught on the scars around Bucky’s metal arm, he repositioned so he could press a kiss to the healed up tissue.

“Should we talk about this?” Bucky asked after a moment’s silence.

“I guess,” Peter murmured, “But—maybe tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow’s fine.”

“Yeah. I just wanna…” Peter snuggled in closer to Bucky, tucking his face into the crook of his neck. Thankfully, Bucky kept his arms around him, and even squeezed gently. “For now, y’know?”

“Yeah. Yeah me too.”

When all the jitters finally subsided, Peter realized tonight’s emotional rollercoaster had exhausted him, and he fell asleep like nobody’s business, tucked up under Bucky’s chin and wrapped in a set of extraordinarily comfortable super soldier arms – which was exactly where he woke up the next morning.

Light filtered in through electronic blinds that Peter couldn’t remember ever drawing the night before, and his back was pressed against a warm, solid chest, puffs of air breezing across the back of his neck with every one of Bucky’s exhales.

He couldn’t quite believe where he was waking up. Last night felt like nothing but a dream and he thought maybe he’d drifted off somewhere during their conversation and then his imagination had figured out the rest. At least he thought so until Bucky pressed an open-mouthed kiss over his pulse point and Peter had never been more awake.

“I guess the power’s back on,” Bucky murmured gruffly, probably referring to the blinds. Or the air-conditioning keeping the room above their bedsheets an even temperature.

“Seems like it,” Peter replied halfheartedly, but when Bucky made to move away, he took his hand before it could retract from around him and held it firmly in place.

Bucky looked bemused, half leaned up, and Peter turned onto his back to look up at him with the beginnings of a blush high on his cheeks.

“I think I’d like to pretend we’re still locked up for a little while longer.”

And clearly Bucky had no qualms with that.

[thewatsonbeekeepers]

Chapter 10 – Oh No Love, You’re Not Alone [TLD 2/2]

[A line from Rock’n’Roll Suicide, which titles the previous chapter – listen here! X Possibly Bowie’s best song.]

This chapter aims to break down the infamous hug scene step by step – I couldn’t handle this scene for a long time, Mary and Irene seriously breaking with the otherwise reasonably coherent series, but I have a reading. This reading is complicated in that it relies – like this whole meta series – on every character in the scene being a part of Sherlock. This is obviously sad because it means that our boys don’t come together in one of the only moments of physical affection they’ve been allowed in the last ten years, but bear with it. There are three important symbols we need to know going into this scene: our three main characters. The grounding of this meta series is that, within the EMP, Sherlock is our eyes, the part of his brain that is consciously navigating the subconscious and trying to make sense of it. John represents his heart, normally in antithesis with Mycroft as the brain, but in TLD really taking centre stage himself. To get a handle on Mary, I refer you back to my TST metas [XX]; TLDR, at the end of TST Sherlock stages Mary’s assassination attempt on himself via Norbury, only to replace himself with Mary at the last second because he cannot cope with the implication that it is the loss of him that has made John suicidal. To be colloquial, then, Mary is comphet – which is essentially her function in every Sherlock Holmes adaptation anyway, but you know. Thinking about Mary in terms of comphet is useful particularly in terms of her obsession with Sherlock wearing the hat which dogs the end of this episode, and which for many spoiled this scene the first time around (i.e. me). Wearing the hat is a euphemism in tjlc for masking one’s sexuality, drawing on the Victorian phrase ‘a hat of someone else’s choosing’ X – Sherlock’s throwing off of the hat was so momentous in TAB that many of us were reluctant to see it brought up again. However, this all makes sense.

Before we take this scene from the top, I feel the need to say that someone has brought me tea in a glass, by pure coincidence. I feel this is a good omen.

The scene opens talking about Eurus!Faith, and one of the first possibilities touted is that Sherlock made up a dream woman who gave him all the info he needed. Not subtle – although Eurus has other purposes in the narrative which become very important, she does also kick the narrative along quite nicely here. However, as mentioned in the previous chapter, she’s not the only character who does – think of the random comments that allow Sherlock to piece together ‘everyone’, despite having nothing to do with the case. So what our boys are saying about Eurus!Faith, if we think about it in the context of the episode, instead of just her, points to the artificiality that is casting such a massive shadow right now. John’s ‘magic dream woman’ comment comes straight after Sherlock talking about being able to predict anything – undermining the entire basis of the episode as magic and dreamlike, so we know where we stand. Sherlock is only experiencing all of this semi-lucidly – kind of like TAB – so it’s up to his heart to try to get him to twig it I suppose.

Sherlock then suggests that Eurus!Faith was a hallucination brought on by drugs, in keeping with the theme of the episode, but also with our own themes. Drugs are used to cover up one’s true sexuality, and Eurus up until this point has only been used in her various disguises to veil Sherlock’s desires as heterosexual, so in that sense she is linked to the mirage that drugs can cause. Heart!John’s response is to keep Sherlock off the ‘sweeties’, which is a good sign for us – the more we fixate on the sober region of Sherlock’s brain, the more we’re in the place where he can’t hide from who he is, and his heart is pushing him there.

It seems that comphet!Mary is the one pushing Sherlock to talk to his heart here, which might raise questions, but as we’ll see one of the first things she tells heart!John to do is to ‘make him wear the hat’ – everything she says is fitting in with the paradigm of Sherlock Holmes that the heart cannot cope with and needs to leave behind. Mary also suggests that Sherlock should wear the hat to her as a tribute, because she’s dead. I like to read this as the weird sense that we should be respectful of old classics, as though queering them is somehow disrespectful – this gets thrown up a lot in relation to Sherlock Holmes. One time it really got thrown up though was in the making of TPLoSH – the reason it’s not more explicit is because the Conan Doyle estate didn’t want Wilder to damage ACD’s legacy. The necessity for comphet of the Victorian era is dead and gone, but we still consistently pay tribute to it in our culture.

Sherlock keeps mentioning Culverton’s confessions, which we’ve talked about in the last chapter – but in this world of mirrors, he’s unable to map them onto himself perfectly yet. It’s the same thing as Eurus heterosexualising his interactions – we’re working in a world of mirrors and proxies, because the reality of queerness is so off limits in his mind.

Then we get the text alert. Irene Adler has long been established within the mind palace as a symbol of Sherlock’s sexual desire. So, at the end of this, as Sherlock is about to neglect his heart and let it descend out of Baker Street, we get this sudden cry of sexuality – and the heart turns back. Comphet!Mary, through the hat linked to conventional storytelling metatextually propelling Sherlock’s comphet well into the 21st century, immediately jumps to the conclusion that Sherlock loves Irene Adler. There are several reasons why this is absolutely wrong. Firstly, we are dealing entirely in symbolic people here, so why Irene would suddenly be a real person instead of a metaphor is tonally dubious. Secondly, Irene is a long established metaphor for sexuality anyway. But thirdly, and most importantly – this scene, which revolves around the Irene Adler text alert, is the beating heart of the episode and arguably the entire series. For Irene Adler to be referenced once more in the series, in a minor line, suggests that she is not the actual focus. It’s about what’s going on within Sherlock.

[A side note: Mary’s exposition in this scene makes me cringe – I hope I’m not the only one? But if you will set up a complex network of metaphors and then leave several years between series, maybe you need that.]

John then deduces that it’s Sherlock’s birthday – again, reasonably unbelievable that he wouldn’t know this, given that Mummy and Daddy Holmes would definitely have made a big deal of it. It’s difficult to know for sure what the birthday symbolises, but John saying he has always wanted to know it might make us remember Sherlock actually seeking out John’s birth certificate to find the name Hamish on it. This meta [X] explains why this represents hiding a part of ourselves that is essential – i.e., from birth – which would fit the concept of the birthday. However, this may be tenuous.

Heart!John’s outburst at the discovery of Sherlock’s sexual desire – not necessarily how it is directed, but that it exists – is basically: well, what do you do about it? Why don’t I know about this? It is incredible that Sherlock has managed to compartmentalise this from his heart for so long, but that’s the pro of having an incredibly intricate mind palace I suppose. The Harvester in High Wycombe situation is sex without strings attached – I think the veiled suggestion here is masturbation, because Sherlock has refused the heart any involvement in it, but Sherlock denies the suggestion. The level at which heart!John is losing it is desperate, and the idea that ‘High Wycombe is better than you are currently equipped to understand’ suggests an affection starvation of epic proportions. I had problems with John’s claim that romantic entanglement would complete Sherlock as a human being (Sherlock being ace is a common reading, often touted by the writers themselves, and whilst I don’t subscribe to the theory such a statement plays into a pretty harmful narrative about ace people). The line is still dubious when said by heart!John because of the wider narrative it plays into, but spoken by Sherlock’s heart to himself does suggest that Sherlock’s denial of his sexuality has been crippling him.

The idea that comphet!Mary sent heart!John back to Sherlock is a difficult one – there are two warring versions of Sherlock’s heart here, and comphet!Mary’s idea of heterosexuality (posh boy and dominatrix, even whilst metatextually acknowledging that it’s a boring cliché) does require the unity of Sherlock and his heart, just in a way that isn’t possible. However, another possible reading about letting Sherlock die without comphet!Mary might take us back to TST – the hypothesis assassination when comphet!Mary took the bullet for Sherlock at the last second admittedly slowed down Sherlock’s analytical processes, but it’s quite possible that his heart wasn’t ready for it, that the heart wouldn’t have let him realise it and Sherlock would actually have died in the mind palace. His heart was too afraid to show up – which, true or not, is echoed in the idea that heart!John wasn’t there when Sherlock/Mary were shot by Norbury, but attending to heteronormative domesticity (sorry Rosie). It’s also devastating that the heart wants to be the Sherlock Holmes of the stories still – and we’re breaking through, but it’s TFP which will finally push through that, not this scene.

Heart!John’s admission of cheating here is vital. Eurus as mirror for John has long been discussed, and as we’ve seen in a previous chapter (X) she takes on a female form to give Sherlock’s desires an acceptable outlet – but here we have an acknowledgement from heart!John that he betrayed comphet!Mary in his texting of Eurus. The texting is made to parallel Sherlock’s own engagement with his sexuality in terms of Irene – he’s later revealed to have texted her too. Whether that just suggests merely thoughts or masturbation (or something else?) I don’t know, but the parallel suggests that such engagement with his sexuality is the same as heart!John’s covert engagement with gay trauma Eurus – in other word, both romantic and sexual illicit desires have been acknowledged, and have existed simultaneously though compartmentalised. We can see the paralleling of heart!John’s romantic desires with Sherlock’s sexual desires in moments like when heart!John admits that he still wants more – the camera focuses on Sherlock, who looks at heart!John like a moment of realisation (possibly because he’s recognising the form his heart has taken – that’s the headcanon).

But this is not a happy scene. Heart!John declares that he has never been capable of comphet, but that he wants it, and comphet!Mary tells him to get the hell on with it – taking special emphasis to call him John Watson. There’s no Hamish here, which in a conversation begun on birthdays might make us worry, but crucially calling him John Watson rather than John is a link back to the original stories, when we know that using just first names is a big indicator of the modernity (read queerness) of the adaptation, not least in the EMP (see TAB). Comphet!Mary’s heterosexual compulsion is thus still going strong based on the historical stories. And what’s sad here is that the impulses are acknowledged! Sherlock not only acknowledges his sexual desire but even that he acts on it (the texts), and heart!John acknowledges his romantic attraction, and where they had been compartmentalised the hug as a moment of unity tells us that Sherlock has joined those dots, acknowledges his existence as a romantic and sexual being. And then – he puts the hat on, he still needs a high of some description to cope with his birthday. I believe that Sherlock’s acknowledgement of Mary’s ghost at the end, previously visible only to John, is a new recognition of the compulsory heterosexuality that his heart has been grappling with – but he puts on that hat in order to capitulate to it. (Never fear, the hat is coming off later).

The hat wearing comes in a separate scene, in terms of framing, to the official hug scene, although logically they must happen within 20 minutes of each other in the same room. [I am resisting the urge to make a crack joke about what happened in the interim. I’m sure there’s something on AO3 about it.] It’s a horrible addendum, because heart!John has just confessed his biggest secret, and Sherlock acknowledges it – but then immediately downplays it. Just texting. In superficial terms, this downplaying is personally not what I would want from a friend – in metaphorical terms, it’s deadly. It’s a subtle undermining of the entire previous scene. We can see that the wall hasn’t been broken through, that he’s still chickened at the last second (much like at the end of TST) in other ways – he still has the appearance of drugged Sherlock, in particular the facial hair, which is used to reference bearding typically in the show. I also maintain – though others may take issue with this – that Cumberbatch’s gait changes when he plays a high Sherlock, and although ostensibly not high here that slightly clumsy gait remains the same. It is not a good vibe. And then, the final shot of this scene isn’t one of acceptance or closure. After Sherlock acknowledges Mary’s presence, the look on Martin Freeman’s face is one of quiet but terrible sadness, as well as anxiety.

A final thought before I leave this scene, having discussed what happens at the end of TLD in a different chapter – it’s worth noting that Sherlock has a mug of an unspecified hot drink throughout this scene, but it’s left ambiguous whether it’s coffee or tea. (Yes, it could be something else, but given the heavy focus on coffee and tea earlier in the episode, along with the pre-established drinks code, we can assume.) This ambiguity, I think, is deliberate – it allows Sherlock to acknowledge desire but still mask it through vagueness and ambiguity. It’s a way of lying to himself – and goodness knows we’re all capable of that, and can probably see how such a fudge might apply to a mental analysis of such a situation. I’d love to hear others’ thoughts on this scene though – do let me know! Until next time.

[atamascolily]

Unicorn Chronicles, Book Two: “Song of the Wanderer,” by Bruce Coville

I know I read Song of the Wanderer at least once in the early 2000s, but somehow it didn't stick with me like the first one. Anyway, I definitely remember stumbling across it in the library and being all, "huh, there's book two now," and then moving on to something else once I’d finished it.

Song of the Wanderer was published in 1999, five years after Into the Land of the Unicorns. This is lampshaded in the dedication:

Dedicated to all the readers who have waited, patiently and impatiently, for this second volume, with my deepest apologies for taking so long.

(keep in mind that Book Three didn't come out until 2008, and you'll appreciate the irony here)

I really like the cover of the original edition by Rebecca Guary, which shows that the artist actually did read the books and which I prefer over the questionable choices in the reprints. The hardcover version has a gorgeous spread with more unicorns, which unfortunately I was not able to find a scan of online.

Anyway, Song of the Wanderer kicks off with Cara embarking on a quest to fetch her grandmother, Ivy Morris, back to Luster so the Queen of the Unicorns can see her one last time before she dies. In fact, the ONLY reason the Queen is still alive at all is because she's holding out for a reunion.

Unfortunately, even though Cara has a magic amulet that will let her jump back to Earth at will, it's not that simple.

I gotta say, I love the complication that Earth and Luster are shifting in relationship to each other, so that Cara can't be sure where she'll end up in the other world without consulting a geomancer.

Cara is accompanied on this subquest by three unicorns - the Queen's nephew Moonheart, who is also Lightfoot's uncle and very aloof, distant, and dismissive of both humans and Lightfoot, who he considers to be immature and irresponsible. There's Finder, who is like the unicorn version of a LotR-esque ranger, and Belle, a warrior. Belle thinks Finder is a coward and a wuss, and Moonheart is just like "Thanks, I hate it" but goes along because Serious Business. Cara would rather have Lightfoot, but he refused to come along to Summerhaven, so she doesn't know how to contact him.

We also have confirmation of Cara's age (twelve), and a bit more of her backstory: she never really felt like she had a home growing up because Ivy was always moving them to avoid detection from the Hunters. Cara is also upset Ivy withheld the truth about Luster from her but also worried that the Hunters have hurt Ivy in Cara's absence.

The night before they leave, Cara is looking up at the stars and then dreams of her ancestor Beloved, who is waiting for her in Cara's old house. Beloved would like to kill all the unicorns and is still itching to get her hands on Cara's amulet so she can launch an invasion to Luster. She claims Cara belongs to her, and Cara wakes up before Beloved can snatch her.

This is the first time Cara and Beloved meet face to face--in Book One, Beloved was a story and a scrawled signature in a scryglass, not a character. The main antagonist in Book One was Cara's father, Ian Hunter, acting as Beloved's agent. So I have to say it's refreshing to see Beloved in the flesh (so to speak) and she genuinely is terrifying - simultaneously young and old, beautiful and ugly all at once.

M'Gama the Geomancer is human, so she's able to comb Cara's hair and outfit her with new clothes to replace her dirty jeans and t-shirt she's been wearing the entire time to date. The geomancy works but not without a struggle and Cara thinks she hears her grandmother's voice calling to her in the darkness, begging for rescue.

M'Gama explains that in order for Cara to return to her grandmother's house on Earth, they must leave from the dragon Ebillan's cave. Ebillan hates humans, so this isn't going to be easy. Furthermore, as the seasons change, so do the relative positions of Luster and Earth, and so they only have a month to get there before the spot is useless.

(This is really smart from a writing perspective, because it ups the tension and raises the stakes by imposing a deadline, and gives them obstacles to overcome.)

Anyway,the party leaves and encounters the Queen's Players, a group of humans who travel around and entertain people with their circus and barding antics. Cara befriends a melancholy older man named Jaques (I see what you did there, Coville!) and learns the "Song of the Wanderer," which is both about Ivy Morris and her signature song. Jaques reveals he is Cara's grandfather and Ivy's former husband and wishes to join their quest.

There's a delver attack and Lightfoot and the Dimblethum save them, yay. The party meets Grimmwold, who takes them through his caverns, and provides more exposition about Ivy's backstory. Ivy was an orphan with no memory of her past who was adopted by the Hunters and ran away, rather than be their pawn. She hurt herself, and a unicorn was drawn to her pain and healed her, only to be attacked by the Hunters. Ivy races through the nearby Gate to Luster for reinforcements, and we learn that the unicorn who saved her was none other than Moonheart!

Lightfoot's reaction is priceless, of course:

Cara gasped. "Moonheart?"

"I never knew about this!" Lightfoot said, sounding equally surprised--and slightly amused.

"There is a great deal you don't know, nephew," said Moonheart severely. "Continue with your story, Grimmwold."

..."But what happened next?"

"I survived," said Moonheart dryly.

AHAHAHAHA,THE SNARK.

We learn that Unicorns also have the equivalent of a Rumspringa--they call it a "Wander Year"--and that Lightfoot never came back from his, which is why Moonheart is mad at him. We also learn that humans and unicorns can only talk if the unicorn pierces their chest with a horn first, which is... interesting. Also, the Hunter who tried to kill Moonheart is sleeping in prison because the unicorns didn't know what else to do with him - so I'm sure that will be relevant later.

(Coville is also very insistent that the proper term for a group of unicorns is "glory" and will not hesitate to correct you.)

Anyway, Moonheart and Ivy have a special bond, and no one understands why, but everyone loves Ivy, even though she disappoints the Queen by being unable to stay in one place for very long. The Queen is upset when Ivy marries Jaques, to the point of causing a massive scene at the wedding, too.

Grimmwold gives Cara a jewel to bribe Ebillan with - Cara looks into it and has a vision of her mother, which disturbs her. Cara sneaks off her own and encounters Beloved again, only to wrench herself free and get lost. She rescues the injured gryphon Medafil, and they return to his nest.

Medafil claims that the Wanderer owes him a kiss, and Cara pays up for her absent grandmother once Medafil learns they're related. Medafil's nest is filled with all sorts of useful treasures, but Cara is most entranced with a seashell recording of Ivy's voice singing the "Song of the Wanderer," which she takes with them when they leave. Medafil agrees to help guide them to Ebillan, though he's very tsundere about it.

Cara trades the seashell to Ebillan in exchange for access to the cave and returns to Earth. She finds Beloved waiting for her. Turns out Beloved has been using the constellation called "The Ravager" to contact Cara, which strongly implies Beloved can see everything that goes on in Luster through the stars, which is super-creepy. A scuffle ensues over the amulet.

Jaques and Lightfoot appear out of nowhere and are taken prisoner by Beloved's men. Cara's father Ian turns against Beloved, and Beloved retreats, but Cara is devastated when Jaques reveals that she stole the amulet Thomas gave them and can launch an attack on Luster at last.

(On the one hand, this isn't surprising, because Thomas has a lot of hidden depths, but it isn't exactly foreshadowed so it just feels like it comes out of nowhere. But anyway, Nice Job Breaking It, y'all!)

Ivy Morris is upstairs but unconscious. Cara tries to wake her, and is drawn into a green prison between worlds. The unicorn queen's spirit appears and explains this is part of the Rainbow Prison. Cara realizes her mother must be in the red shaft of the rainbow, and Jaques is able to call them back to their bodies with the "Song of the Wanderer". Everyone returns to Luster, using Ivy's gift to return directly to the Queen rather than taking the long way back. Ian stays on Earth and vows to hunt down Cara's mother Martha and free her, since he realized Beloved has been using her as a pawn.

The Queen tells a story of her wayward daughter, Amalia Flickerfoot, and it becomes increasingly clear that Ivy is said unicorn who was transformed into a human to keep her from the hunters and lost her memories in the process. Amalia is restored to her true form, and is made the new Queen (to Lightfoot's intense relief) when the old Queen dies.

Yes, this makes Cara part unicorn, although I would argue,she's completely human because Ivy was human when she had kids and genetics doesn't work like that--but I admit, she is uniquely positioned to make peace between the warring parties now that her grandmother is the Queen of the Unicorns and her other grandmother is the Queen of the Hunters. So...

So Medafil is great - I can see why I put an expy of him in my own novel. Belle and Finder are interesting, but quickly fade into the background once Lightfoot and co. join the party, and it feels like there are too many characters competing for my attention. Running into Jaques feels a little contrived, but I like how he considers Cara his granddaughter regardless of their blood connections, and his acrobatics come in handy. Also, he gets to reconnect with his beloved ex-wife, but also... she's a unicorn now? AWKWARD.

Beloved is a great antagonist. I'm not sure I buy Ian's abrupt Face Heel Turn, but I'm willing to roll with it. (Can we just say how refreshing it is for a grown-ass man to admit his daughter is right and he was brainwashed his whole life? TALK ABOUT A POWER FANTASY THERE.) The sudden reveal of Thomas's amulet annoys me, but it succeeds in upping the stakes. The mystery of Ivy's past is well-handled, but I don't really like the whole rainbow prison bit. Ebillan's dragon angst is interesting and turns him into a more two-dimensional character.

We get our first mention of the human wizard Bellenmore who opened the gates, and also the possibility that the gates might close on their own. The delver subplot from Book One is mostly ignored, which is fine, because I don't really like them, but we're not allowed to forget they exist, either. The Squijum doesn't really do much except be annoying, I think.

I'm really sad there's not more Cara-Lightfoot conversation here. There is one thing where Cara asks if he's into Belle, but they don't get the time together they did in Book One. I started off hating Moonheart, but he grew on me, and I enjoy his grumpy relationship with Lightfoot.

I'd also like to know more about Thomas and his friendship with the dragon Fah-lieng that he alludes to, and how the geography of Luster works. Finder says there are still areas that aren't explored and I'm really curious what he's up to and how he got to be so well traveled.