#Can you tell I adore my components hehe

[starlight-diesel]

hai ¡¡ for the s/i ask game 🧜❓ + the platonic f/o one 🧸🧢 . you don't have to do em all if you don't feel like it obviously but either way i am Listening

HEHE TY!! (Being swag and free by referring to my s/i with first person pronouns) Self-Insert asks:

🧜- I think that a lot of the machine related parts qualify for this ehehe. There's a lot of vagueness of how the musical's canon works because all the trains are a kid's toys but also machine-y, so I kind of just flip flop between using the toy trains thing and a sort of personal canon of just being humanoid robot trains doing stuff. ANYWAY I think it's a lot of things rather than just one, but if I had to pick one to talk about, I'd say repair work and just general maintenance. Having your loved ones do work on your internal machinery, polish you, and just help you with your average machine stuff is a very personal thing platonically and romantically, and it's an important part of how me and my fellow trains would further our bonds with each other. You gotta trust each other to let someone do work on you when you're a machine. Which is partly why I feel that I might be the closest with Wrench out of any of the components, it is her job after all.

❓- My screen on my chest is functional for a lot of stuff! The other ones can light up ofc but the one on my chest functions as a lot of things, usually it just glows but it can serve as a sort of heart monitor ( even tho technically trains don't have physical hearts) that just kinda gives a general idea on how well I'm doing. Sort of like a stress meter? If that makes any sense. But that's mostly for the benefit of my close loved ones (Aka my components, Wrench more specifically bc my health is, again, her job djfjsdf). It can display lots of stuff but usually is just glowing/a monitor. Platonic f/o asks:

🧸- Mmm I'm gonna pick Volta (who is he/she btw, bc in the bochum Revival he's masc and I like to think their appearances fluctuate like mine does) for this one. She's a big fan of physical affection, I'd say the whole group is, but when she's upset she likes to be held. Her body temperature is constantly freezing because she's a freezer truck, so having someone warmer hold her and cuddle with her really raises her spirits. But if she's in a not touchy mood, the second go to is letting her practice her makeup techniques, because she's our group's best makeup artist and if you've seen the stuff I've posted so far you know we go hard with our looks hehe. I'll happily let Volta work on me any day because focusing on new styles always brightens her mood.

🧢- Ohh heights is a good one. I think I'm probably taller than all of them, I feel all engines are taller than the train cars, but I'm just lanky in general (5'9 irl, if I remember right) and the mohawk makes me look even taller. Comparing the rest of them, in a lineup Dinah would be the shortest of my platonic f/os, Krupp would be only slightly taller than her tho, they're basically the same height. Wrench would be the tallest out of all of them. Momma is kinda short I think but she's taller than Dinah and Krupp are bc she's an engine too. Purse, Joule, and Volta are all in the middle somewhere.

[iztopher]

for the fic ask: 😅🥺🤡🎢✨💖🧐👀🤲✅ (for the ask about research, feel free to also share some stories about cool or funny things you had to look up for a fic hehe)

EEE THANK U ! going under the cut.

What's a story or scene you've created that you're a smidge embarrassed exists?

LMAO SO MANY, but none posted publicly. They tend to fall into two categories: 1) I explore a different approach to characters than I tend to, and I'm embarrassed by any OOC-ness that arises as a result, and 2) I really like getting into Galahad's head and the #issues he's internalized and I write a lot of stuff with that as a key component that I am embarrassed by, because liking Galahad so much is embarrassing even before getting into the specifics of the content.

Is there a certain type of moment or common interaction between your characters that never fails to put you in your feels?

I like writing a lot of cagey or somewhat withdrawn characters so I get most emotional when the conversation finally chips away to how they Actually Feel and they end up admitting it. Also, face touching, but I have very little opportunity to write that.

What's a line, scene, or exchange you've written that made you laugh?

Disproportionately amused by the ending of stop me if you've heard this one before:

"Oh dear," murmured the bartender wryly, trying not to laugh at the false accusation. "What trouble have you caused us now, Morten?" "We don’t know that…" Silas reached his arm out to punch Morten on the shoulder. "You really ought to stay out of other people’s business, Morten."

Overall I just absolutely adore fanfic as a vehicle for dramatic irony and find it hilarious to both write and read.

Which of your fics would you call your wildest ride?

because I primarily write fairly short, contained oneshots that pretty much have one specific concept and execute it, I don't think any of my fics are particularly wild rides. yet, anyways. I have a feeling my upcoming the little mermaid AU may fill this niche.

Give you and your writing a compliment. Go on now. You know you deserve it.

What made you start writing?

in general I literally cannot remember, I've been writing as long as I can remember. for fic, there was a lot of fic exploring different aspects of Rhen and Lars's relationship on the Aveyond forums, but comparatively very little for te'ijalahad, and I was like, hey... what if...

Do you spend much time researching for your stories?

LMAO NO. I should research more, honestly. I love writing canonverse Aveyond fic partly because magic lets me handwave a lot so I don't have to research. But sometimes I do! For example I've been reading up on boats and storms for the first chapter of my little mermaid AU, and I'm currently working on a te'ijalahad AU that led to me reading an entire novel for, um, very questionable research.

Tell me about an up and coming wip please!

unfortunately most of my immediate WIPs are under wraps! I'm participating in Yuletide on AO3 this year and also trying to finish the fic prompts I was given in preparation of Yuletide, and I want the specifics on those to be a surprise.

BUT, as always, I have twenty thousand fics I started like five years ago and am still chipping away at. right now most pressing of those is my the little mermaid te'ijalahad AU!

in the AU, Rhen is the queen of a seaside kingdom and Galahad is the captain of her guard. Te'ijal is a mermaid/siren obsessed with humans who decides she wants to become human so she can explore the world. It features the most self-aware Galahad I have ever written, background Rhen & John content, and some Te'ijal scenes I'm really excited for.

it should be ~5 chapters, and I'm midway done with chapter 3, but because chaptered fics are so rough for me to finish it I'm not posting it until I have the rough draft of every chapter written. it'll be the longest fic I've ever written, and I'm really looking forward to that!

Would you please share a snippet of a wip?

At one point when all four were there, Rhen laid down on a bench and idly described the supposed risks of sirens. “They say they have the most gorgeous voices, and they lure men down to their deaths with their songs of seduction.” Peter laughed. “At least there’s nobody in present company the promise of love with a mermaid would work on. As far as concerns about sirens go, we may be one of the better crews on the mainland.” “I’m not sure that’s entirely true,” Rhen mused. “John isn’t wholly immune to the charms of a beautiful woman.” “No, just settling down with one.” John punched Peter lightly in the arm. “You may not be so immune yourself. For all you know, the fish men have started taking cues.” “Excuse you, I am very happy with my husband and I am not going to start flinging myself off deck for every handsome fish man with a half-decent singing voice–” Rhen’s giggles reentered the fray before she did. “John, if my memory with a certain someone is sound, doesn’t that mean you’re just two times the liability?” “Oh, sure, rub it in, why don’t you, little miss safe-from-sirens-twice-over.” At this point, Galahad had heard more than well enough. “It scarcely matters who is safe how many times. Sirens are an old wives’ tale and you should all know it.” “Easy for you to say,” John joked. “Quite.”

What's something that appears in your fics over and over and over again, even if you don't mean to?

injury recovery. my god. I'm obsessed with this trope it happens regardless of if I plan it or not

[sylvie-writes]

Evans Family Christmas

pairing: chris evans x reader ft. Dodger hehe

requests: I need all the ugly Christmas sweaters, hot cocoa, Christmas cookies, everything in my life with the avengers or with Chris and his family 🥺 -anon

2. Just imagine that you and Chris are spending your first Christmas together and you’re decorating cookies and singing Christmas songs together and dancing around the living room with the fireplace going and of course hanging a stocking for Dodger. @aubreeskailynn​

warnings: just chris being the dirty minded man that he is

word count: 2,079

author’s note: pardon any mistakes! this is also for @fangirlovestuff​‘s birthday challenge! I’m so sorry for the long wait :(

challenge prompt: 25. that couple where one cooks and the other can’t cook for shit

PART OF MY CHRISTMAS CELEBRATION (check the tag for the masterlist)

gif below was found on giphy

From your spot in the kitchen, you could hear the deep chuckle of the man you have loved for the past two years. He was currently on the phone with his mother who you assumed was inviting you both to the annual Evans’ family Christmas get together.

Chris rushed into the kitchen a giddy smile on his adorable face and fists excitedly curled into his chest like a small child. You didn’t even need to hear the words spill from his mouth to confirm your suspicions that the two of you were, in fact, going to the party.

One who cared for Chris as much as you did, could easily tell that the bright grin on his lips was the genuine one he sported when around his family. A career such as his, made time with family limited and you were always more than happy to go along to any event with Chris’s family. Even if that meant you’d see them once a year or twice a week.

The Evans family truly lived it up on the holidays, something definitely instilled in your boyfriend who acted like a frat boy at parties. (You have many videos of him being the happy drunk that he is, to say so.)

With this being your first Evans Christmas, Chris literally went all out once his mother called him that week before. You were unaware of this until an ugly Christmas sweater was laying out on your side of the bed just the day before Christmas. As you had been working all day, Chris had run out to accomplish some errands but you had no clue it actually meant this. With a small giggle, you decided to amuse yourself and try on the sweater. The sweater itself looked like it had been pulled straight out of any cheesy 90’s holiday movie you could imagine. Decked in lights attached to a battery pack and lots of gaudy tinsel, the sweater was the literal embodiment of any office Christmas party attire. Even the Grinch would have turned his head at all of the very questionable, yet somehow eye catching, components of the knit top.

You decided to venture down the stairs in the sweater to surprise Chris, but oh how the tables had turned. Instead of surprising the man, he shocked you first and not for a good reason. Jaw half dropped, you slowly walked into the mess of a kitchen. Various cookie making ingredients spilled among the counter and you found the culprit’s back turned your way. His entire black sweater was covered in flour and somehow even the back of it. At the mess you let out a tiny, but very audible, shriek causing the man to cautiously turn.

A nervous smile graced his lips and he held up two mugs of hot cocoa.

“Heh heh. Your sweater looks nice, honey...” There was no sign of amusement on your face, and you just horridly stared at the colossal snow storm of flour in the kitchen. “...hot cocoa?”

You just slowly turned your head in his direction and if an eye can invisibly twitch, then yours was doing so. An insane chuckle left your mouth and you just walked closer, snatching the mug from him. The last thing you wanted to do was clean this damn kitchen, especially after a long day at work. You loved Chris, but that man never followed through with things. Of course it wasn't intentional, but if you did wait for him to do said things, they’d never get done in a timely manner.

A timer sounded from the oven breaking your small staring contest with the man who nervously gulped from time to time as you were yet to say a word since entering the kitchen.

“Sounds like your cookies are done, lover boy.” You turned on your heel heading to the living room, but not without looking over your shoulder to utter a quip.

“Wouldn’t want to burn those things. Especially after the mess you’re going to have to clean all by yourself.”

Chris knew you were teasing, as confirmed by the discreet wink, and he just shrugged his shoulders, laughing. He had already planned on cleaning the kitchen, but this time he actually meant it.

An hour later, Chris joined you on the couch, a plate of decorated cookies in hand. He threw an arm around your shoulder and kissed your forehead. You decided to take a cookie and hummed in approval when the sugar dissipated on your tongue.

“My, my, Chris Evans. If you weren’t an actor, I’d say you could become a baker!”

In thanks, he once again kissed you, but this time on the forehead, making you crinkle your nose a bit. A few seconds of silence passed before he spoke again.

“I see you found the sweater. Do ya like it?”

You looked up at him with a dazzling smile and pecked his lips.

“I’ll take that as a yes.”

Against the plush lips of the man you murmured, “I hate to ruin the moment, but is the kitchen clean?”

Chris pulled back with a deep chuckle that seemingly lasted for minutes. He tried to speak between the choppy laughter, but failed and instead gave you a simple nod of his head. Leaving the man to his giggles, you quickly snuck off and then rushed back into the room in no time as Chris was finally ceasing his howling.

Arms secretly folded behind your back and a large, corny grin on your face, Chris’s eyebrows raised in suspicion. He cautiously reached out to pull you closer to him, pretty much to the point where you dropped to sit on his lap.

Once seated, you brought your arms around to your own lap and opened the glittery Christmas gift bag. Just as you were about to pull the final piece of tissue paper from the sack, you called Dodger who loyally came running in from the next room. At the point Chris was so utterly confused that he wasn't even aware Dodger had joined you both. Although, the man did wear a smirk that was borderline concerning.

The pup then curled up next to you on the couch after venturing in. Finally, you started to rummage through the gift bag, revealing its contents that had suspense looming in the air for a good while. Honestly, as you pulled out a beautifully embroidered stocking, which was for Dodger, Chris released a shaky breath that he had been unknowingly holding in.

You turned to see his reaction and instead started laughing at his tremendously cherry red cheeks. His smirk had also dropped and he now partly resembled a sad puppy. Even though he looked downcast, you could spy a sea of playfulness in his eyes.

“Oh my gosh, babe! Why are you so red?” It was now your turn to try and talk in between laughs.  

Chris shook his head in a manner of disappointment, dramatically sucking in air and widening his eyes as one would do when traumatized.

“Let’s just say I had assumed there would be stockings in that bag, but...not that kind.” His ears were all red now and the two of you were cackling loudly, causing Dodger to leave the room.

“You dirty man! I swear for a few seconds I thought I was looking at Clifford the Dog!” you continued to tease him for a good five minutes and Chris just accepted it until a feel-good, Christmas classic came on the radio and he scooped you up.

For a quick second you squealed in shock, but then the man set you down on the floor in the middle of the living room. He held out a hand and you accepted it.

Of all the songs that could have graced the radio, it had to be Mariah Carey’s All I Want For Christmas Is You. Thank the heavens the blinds on the windows to the house were shut or the whole neighborhood would have seen you and Chris dancing like fools. The two of you energetically bounced around the living room. Your hair was flailing around as Chris’s arms madly waved up and down. Off key singing resounded from the you both and poor Dodger became the unsuspecting victim to the horrid sounds. Regardless that he was all the way in another room.

From then on, you and Chris spent the rest of Christmas Eve alternating between decorating cookies and doing some Christmas themed karaoke. The night ultimately ended when the both of you crashed from your sugar highs on the couch, not even waking until Dodger came and nudged you in the face, annoyed.

----

Christmas morning came quick and unfortunately that meant both you and Chris had to be up bright and early for the party at his parents house. It had been a good couple of months since you’d seen them all last.

After a couple of groans and tossing around, you managed to find the legs to leave the bed as Chris did the same. The two of you went your separate ways and did the necessary tasks before you later met at the front door. You and Chris both had your ugly sweaters on, even Dodger had one on as he was coming along too. In your hand, you held a bin of the cookies from the night before and in the other you held dodger’s leash as he practically pulled you out the door. Chris, who was chuckling at the dog’s excitement, trailed behind with the many gifts for his family members.

The Evans clan greeted you both with open arms, quite literally, as you were engulfed by all of his siblings at once. Poor Dodger was thrown into the mix and got a bit squished, but he enjoyed the embrace nonetheless.

As soon as you and Chris stepped foot into the house and the door shut behind you, Chris’s sisters ushered you into the kitchen where you just looked back to your boyfriend who gave you a thumbs up and a cheesy grin. Little did you know that you were about to learn the most sacred thing about the family, which is their gingerbread recipe. For a good couple of hours, you chatted with the ladies and helped tediously decorate gingerbread while Chris and the guys were in the other room. Occasionally he’d pass by and steal some cookies to which you’d smack him. The man would quickly retract his hand and like a child in a cookie jar, he’d dash away, but not before placing a kiss to the crown of your head.

Once dinner was served, everyone sat around the table, quieted down, stomachs full and feeling a food coma from the endless amount of servings. You and Chris managed to fight the urge to rest and instead collected dishes to wash. Just as you started scrubbing the dirtied plate Chris had handed you, he nudged your hip with his own. In confusion you turned to the man who motioned for you to look up.

Resting above your heads was a tiny piece of mistletoe, delicately hanging by a little silk ribbon. You lowered your gaze back to the man who had turned and now placed his hands on your hips. Pulling you flush against his chest, Chris kissed you deeply, prompting you to wrap your arms around his neck. Suddenly, you heard some cheering and could feel a protruding smile on Chris’s lips. Looking towards the direction of the sound, you saw the shutters on the kitchen pass through open, allowing everyone in the dining room to peek in.

“I was just about to give you guys some more dishes, but I should’ve known you both were up to no good. Thankfully your niece and nephews are in the other room!” Scott then set down the dishes and dramatically shut the mini doors making both you and Chris laugh.

“I’m hoping you won’t remember your first Evans’ Christmas for this.” Chris still had his arms wrapped around your waist and smiled down on you with a glimmer of hope.

Letting out a breathy laugh, you replied, “You and I both know I will, but hopefully there will be plenty more of these to come.” With that, you trailed your fingers up to his hair and gently tussled the locks, earning yourself a soft kiss on the temple from the satisfied man.

taglist: @memissbee @tricereads @buckybarnesthehotshot @bval-1 @tonystankschild @just-one-ordinary-fangirl @turtoix @kelbabyblue @jakiki94 @aubreeskailynn @calirindo @lady-elena-adeline​ @siriuslyslyslytherin @sushiinmidnight​ @patzammit​ @iwik3it​

[yukheistics]

liar, mark lee.

pairing mark lee x reader

word count 2.5k

genre angst, slight fluff

warning(s) implication of cheating

note i’m experimenting with writing styles, so bear with me on this one hehe! this concept is inspired by the ways we lie by stephanie ericsson. i finished this at 2am so idek (⊙‿⊙✿)

summary he knows how to lie. he knows how it works. he knows you.

There are many things Mark Lee is good at. 

He knows how to rap, sing, and dance until his lungs are on fire. He knows how to plaster a smile on his face when his company offers another tiring position for him to be in. He knows how to pretend that everything is alright for him to handle. He knows how to lie.

He has a thing or two for semantics and can construct a deception for one to believe in. He maintains his composure, sticks to his story, and walks around the truth more often than he can think. He claims to dislike lying, but the person he often does it to is you. He likes to think of it as a way of protecting you as unpleasant as it really sounds. 

“Have you told her yet?” Donghyuck asks him after dance practice when it was just the two of them alone. He looks concerned for him. “The sooner you tell her, the better. You know that.”

Mark simply shrugs his shoulders and leans his back on the mirror. “’Hyuck, just—I’ll handle it, okay? I just don’t know how to tell her.”

“Simple,” the younger male starts to wipe his sweat off with his shirt and sits next to him. “Tell her about the contract. It’ll ease her mind knowing that her boyfriend isn’t actually cheating on her.”

“Right.”

“She already put a lot on the line for you. The least you can do is tell her the truth.”

He recalls an essay he has read in his junior year of high school: The Ways We Lie by Stephanie Ericsson. It made him aware of the underlying cancer that grows within our mind that society accepts the fact that everyone lies. It’s a trait that has been embedded in the human mind for so long that it is almost impossible to get rid of.

There are ten ways listed, but all he remembers are four prominent ones: white lies, facades, omissions, and delusions. (He utilizes it all.)

“Baby, I’m fine.”

Mark reassures you. He never lies to you—not even a white lie, but he doesn’t want to worry you with his issues. It is his problem, anyways. He couldn’t find the right flow to the rap verse they assigned him to, no matter how many times he does it. Something is missing. He’s way off, he thinks. 

“Okay, fine,” you pout through the video call and cross your arms. “But if there is something wrong, you have to tell me. Even if you know I am sleeping because of our shitty time zones, you still have to call me just to tell me. I don’t care!”

He laughs wholeheartedly and grins at you. “Of course.”

“You better, Mark Lee,” you shake your head in a taunting manner. “Or else, I will go to South Korea myself and force the answer out of you. Wait, that’s too aggressive, but you get what I’m saying, right?”

“I’m still surprised I understand you in general,” he jokes and stands up to get a glass of water. “But baby, I’m fine. You know how comeback season works, it’s like, a routine at this point.”

“I know,” you address. “Just make sure to get lots of rest and know your limits. I don’t want my baby boy getting sick while I’m in another country studying law.”

He blushes at the nickname and rubs the back of his neck. “Of course. I always know my limits.”

“Take a break.”

Mark looks up from the lyric sheet and sees Taeyong staring right at him. He clenches his jaw and pushes the headset down to his shoulders before opening the door of the recording studio. “I’m fine. I just need more time. I keep messing up a verse.”

“The producer said your voice was already good during your eighth recording. You are at your twelfth right now,” the leader pauses and pats his shoulder. “I understand where this is coming from, but you never acted this way over a recording. Is everything okay?”

He looks down at his shoes. “Yeah, you know me. I have a tendency to try and perfect it the least. It’s the least I can do to our fans.”

“Just don’t push yourself. It’s already midnight. Make sure to get some rest,” Taeyong purses his lips and playfully hits his shoulder. “Plus, what would ____ think if she knows you’re not taking care of yourself, huh?”

Mark almost crumples the contract in his hands. “She’d be pretty concerned—and mad.” He pushes the chair back and runs his fingers through his hair. “Fuck, why did I agree to this?”

At this point, he wears a facade for you. He keeps saying things again and again and hopes to God that you haven’t caught on to his act. It’s a one man play. And you’re the only one watching. He looks at his best friend, who pushes a mug of green tea towards him—as if it will solve all of his problems. It won’t. 

“Why did you?” Donghyuck repeats and looks at him with concern. He has known Mark for the past ten years, but he can never understand the impulsive decisions he makes. It’s one to be dedicated to a job, but it’s another to be impulsive. “Mark, you’re gonna break her if you don’t tell her.”

Mark laughs. He glances down at the hot steam coming from the mug before looking at his best friend. “You think I don’t know that, ‘Hyuck?”

“Tell her,” the other boy urges on. “Tell her how you signed a contract that states you agreed to be in a relationship for the time being for the new group’s sake. Technically, it is the truth.”

“It’ll make her more stressed. She’s already stressed with law. I don’t need this to be a part of her concern.”

“Then, tell me,” Donghyuck finally sighs. “Tell me what you’re gonna tell her when you’re on the headlines for being in a secret relationship with a trainee?”

Mark clearly knows his faults and weaknesses. He is partaking in another version of lies: omissions. He tells you the truth by excluding one or more key components of it. You don’t need to know everything, is what his mind says when he sees you through the camera exhausted, but still excited to see him. You ask questions and he answers with the important parts being left out. He asks questions and you answer with utter honesty because he knows you too well. 

(You don’t need to know.)

“Yujin,” Mark enunciates and looks at her with a tilt of his head. “Do you think this is right by any means?”

She hums. “Well,” she takes a sip from her drink. “It’s what the company wants right? It’s their word against ours—and you should know how this industry functions at this point. It’s a bunch of manipulation and shit that is geared towards perfection, which is only utilized to please the public eye.”

“Well, I know that,” he scratches the back of his neck awkwardly. “I mean about this—our relationship.”

She giggles. “We’re getting paid anyways. What’s so bad about kissing in front of the camera at events to please fans?”

“Right,” he replies with a strained laugh. “I just find the idea nerve-wracking.”

She frowns at him. “Mark, are you okay?”

Here is what he learned from the entertainment industry: people don’t really want to know how you feel. The truth, they never want that. When they ask how are you, they don’t wanna know. They just ask because they feel like they have to. They don’t want you to elaborate on how you really are. It’s something that they do to make them seem like a good person. They do it for their part and not his. 

No. The two letter word burns on his tongue, but just like a mechanized script, the words that leave his mouth is a lie that he has told multiple times that leave people with a nonchalant smile on their lips: “Yeah, I’m fine. Why wouldn’t I be?”

He sees you for the fifth time this week, dressed in sweats as you cradle a bowl of cereal in your hands with a goofy smile on your face. “What?” you curiously ask with the spoon in your mouth. “Am I that pretty, Mark?”

“You’re always pretty,” he responds immediately with a slight smirk on his lips, which in turn causes you to blush. “I miss you.”

You smile. “I miss you more.”

He sees your tired smile once more and sighs. He wants to tell you, really, but he doesn’t want to see that smile slip from your features knowing that it is his fault. But he knows that he will be the reason you will be crying in the following week. It’s for you, he repeats in his head, it’s for you. 

I need to let you go.

“Imagine if I just became an idol, hm?” you suddenly say. “I’d probably see you more and not stress about stupid bar exams for the time being.”

Don’t. Please don’t. He urges to say, but he just shakes his head and sheepishly grins at you. “Well, if you did become one, you’d probably be a singer. I still remember when you were drunk and sang to me—”

“You said you wouldn’t bring that up!” Despite the virtual connection, he can still clearly see your flushed cheeks. Again. (He really loves you.) “That was so fucking embarrassing.”

“It was adorable.”

“Right,” you close your eyes and lean your face closer to the camera. “I love you, Mark Lee.”

“I love you too,” he responds immediately. “One day,” he rubs his eyes. “One day, I’ll finish my contract and I can be with you. We can be together. That sounds nice, doesn’t it?”

To think, he has already planned out his life with you in his mind, but he knows it’s impossible. But not only does he aim to deceive you, but to deceive himself too. It’s a delusion as Ericsson would describe it to be. It’s funny how he cannot remember a preponderance of things, yet he always remembers how delusion was described: filters out information that contradicts what we want to believe. He is building a perception of a perfect world with you, where he wouldn’t have to think about his image for a second. It’s too good to be true. It’s not real.

“It does. It really does,” you say, but the tone of your voice says otherwise. “Just promise me one thing?”

“What is it?”

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Mark Lee.”

The blinding lights of the studio almost make him want to throw up. Mark watches how the staff are preparing the set and how his management are talking over the script with the interviewer. He looks at himself through the mirror one more time before facing Yujin, who is busy fixing her eyelash extensions. 

“So, the interview is gonna be live,” Yujin drawls out, puckering her lips and tilting her head at him. “Mark, be honest with me,” she taps his shoulder. “Do you hate me?”

He widens his eyes and shakes his head. “No, I don’t. I swear!”

“You sure? Because every time we talk, you look glum. You tend to zone out.”

“It’s really not because of you,” he utters. “Let’s just say, I didn’t expect the company to agree to this for publicity.”

She nods in acknowledgement. “Is that all?”

Mark thinks of Yujin as a catalyst. She’ll be the one to speed up the duration of his relationship with you and destroy whatever he has built for you. Not that any of this was hers to control. He wishes he can hate her, but all she has ever done was sign her name on a contract the same as he did. If anything, Yujin is a spawn in a much bigger scheme that acts as the catalyst. 

“Yeah, that’s all.”

Mark feels dizzy. His eyes are overwhelmed by the numerous flashes from cameras and the questioning voices of reporters. He pulls down his cap as if it’ll do him any justice and wraps his arm around Yujin—as told by the company. “I didn’t know the reporters were gonna be this much.”

“Well, since our management wants our relationship to blow up, it’d make sense in a way,” she exhaustedly replies when he opens the car door for her. “Just smile and pose, Markie,” she says and leans in for a kiss on his cheek when she catches a camera aimed their way.

He freezes. 

“Show business is show business,” she whispers in his ear and gets in the car. “It’s a cruel world we live in, isn’t it?”

Mark calls you, but he understands why you haven’t picked up in the past week. He already can see your tear-stained cheeks and hear your stifled sobs. He wishes he can tell you the truth, but he’d rather let you go with a lie. He’s good at that. He’s good at lying. He’s lied before to you. It should be easy.

“It’s been going on for the past months,” he tells you. “I-I didn’t know how to bring it up, so I just—”

“Decided to let me see it for myself?” you cut him off, chuckling nervously. “God, Mark, this whole damn time I have thought to be with you, you’ve been off fucking a trainee?”

Mark almost grimaces. But he maintains the composure he has left for himself and nods slowly. Lie. Lie. Lie. Lie until it feels right. “It just happened. One day, we were practicing and we clicked. At first, I thought it was a one-time thing to distract myself. I just needed a friend at the time,” he pauses. “One thing led to another and we slept with each other, okay? And I just lost feelings for you. I only continued our relationship because I felt obligated to.”

It’s a lie. It’s a lie. It’s a lie.

He loves you. He has always loved you, regardless of the distance between you. The only reason you had to move was because of his debut; the company did not want any news spreading about him being in a relationship, yet they were the ones pulling the strings as of right now. They explained how their new girl group was not selling well, and the infamous Mark Lee was a way to solve the problem. Mark, do this, Mark, do that. Mark, pretend. Just smile and pose. Smile. Smile beneath the lie. 

He can’t keep doing this to you.

“You did so much for me, so I kept calling you as a means to return the favor.”

He sees it. He sees the tears building up in your eyes as you force on a smile and laugh again. “What am I? A charity case?”

“I’m sorry.”

“I hate you.” 

He knows you too well. He knows that you’re putting a front—don’t we all? He thinks of the white lie you’re uttering, the facade you’re wearing, the omission you’re doing, and the delusion you’re forcing yourself into. He knows how to lie. He knows how it works. He knows you. 

“I know.” I know that’s a lie.

[cbspams]

iKON - Love Scenario + Killing Me

I'll specifically be referring to each member by the name they're using in Kingdom subtitles, so like Jinhwan instead of Jay, Donghyuk instead of DK etc.

Damn these are long lol, thank god for read more cuts

Sarangeul haetdaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa 🎶🎶🎶

I'm honestly so happy they did Love Scenario. I mean it's one of their most famous songs for sure but like, I would've been really sad if it wasn't performed at least once on Kingdom I think, just because I was so curious how they would spin it.

I will say that I would not consider this performance as a "mash up". Now in Round 2 the only groups who do mashups are iKON and SKZ as far as I'm aware, so I'm also taking some of the mash ups used in RTK (Pentagon - Shine/Spring Snow, ONF - We Must Love/Moscow Moscow, It's Raining) as reference to why I would personally call this a "set" rather than a "mash up".

So Love Scenario is a pretty classic mellow song, one which is beloved for obvious reasons of being fun and cheerful but in a quieter, soft vibes way. I loved that they took the melody and made it even more cheerful, adding in those trumpet/saxophone tones and bumping it up to a musical tone song. I especially appreciate that they made it so bright because the other performances are so dark (ATEEZ included, though theirs was more forceful and powerful than dark). It's just really refreshing to hear.

Going back to mash ups though, I'm not sure if I could consider this a mash up in my mind? Here's the thing, I don't actually consider Shine/Spring Snow (Pentagon) or We Must Love/Moscow Moscow (ONF) as mash ups wither. To me, those are more like "sets", in which the songs have similar vibes or transition really well into each other. Shine/Spring Snow being a special stage to send of Jinho, the transition wasn't just a musical flow through but a small "cut". I can't really judge this one as a mash up because it's not a performance for the stage but for the heart but if you watch it, you can clearly see where Shine ends and where Spring Snow begins right? Even if the songs bled into each other though, the way they arranged Shine and Spring Snow, I think it would've been a flawless transition in.

Separately, consider ONF's spliced set in which they do nearly all of We Must Love and then tag Moscow Moscow in towards the end lyrically. Because both songs carry different vibes originally, the arrangement became really important in order to splice the songs together and make the transition seamless. And that arrangement did a wonderful job! If I didn't watch those songs beforehand, I wouldn't even have been able to tell that there were two songs in the performance.

So then what's a mash up? A mash up in my mind is more similar to SKZ's Jasin or ONF's It's Raining. It's where the songs and melodies are arranged together, splicing together lyrics and melodies to become one song completely. There's no telling where one song ends and another begins because they're integrated together. ONF's It's Raining is actually a really cool example of this, where they mashed up It's Raining (Rain) with their own song Complete. They keep all the lyrics of It's Raining but add in their own jaunty vibe with the fun saxophone, changing the song entirely. Similarly, SKZ's Jasin (which I will also analyze later), has God's Menu and Side Effects spliced together to become a new song. Obviously SKZ's is different from ONF as SKZ produce and arrange their own songs already, but the end result is the same: a completely new song despite carrying lyrics and melodies from the components.

In this way, I would define iKON's performance as a "set" over a "mash up". The songs align together to tell a story and have a relatively seamless transition, but they do not incorporate each other to become a new song. I think that as far as arrangements go, this is decent and like in Shine/Spring Snow or We Must Love/Moscow Moscow, it's not a bad idea but it feels "weaker" because it's more like just lining the songs up together instead of actually "mashing" the songs together.

Wow that's a lot of talk on something that's not even actually the performance kdjfhk

BACK TO IT.

Because their theme is a breakup and dealing with what comes after, I think their intro is incredibly strong. Like the others said in the episode itself, Bobby's opening shot captures attention immediately. I love that they used a sort of, older black and white movie set with and actual The End card. I think the kind of jazzy vibes go right with that opening shot, the set designer and costumer definitely knew what kind of image they were going for. The movie end card as well as the girl disappearing clearly defines the performance as a breakup illustration, and the mellow vibes perfectly fit the kind of nostalgia that Love Scenario talks about. For anyone who doesn't know, Love Scenario is actually a post-breakup song that reminisces on the good times they had in the relationship. Bobby's verse in particular mentions that it's good they cut it off when they did, even though it hurts.

I also want to mention that I love how individual Bobby is. It's clear in every performance that he's a quirky one and I'm really impressed how he carries it in each performance, because this performance requires more cohesion as a story and yet he still adds little flairs of his own to make the performance more engaging and also more representative of iKON's hip hop style.

Donghyuk's acting and dance sequence flows so well! It's smooth, tells a small story of how they were close but drifting apart and I think his flair with the trench coat works wonderfully as far as visual effects go. There's just something so satisfying about watching the coat go whoosh hehe

THE CHORUS!!! Yo this totally reminds me of like, old broadway in the 1920's. The gold lights, jazzy tone, even the trench coats which I believe are iconic of old movie detectives and gentlemen-esque figures. Kinda reminds me of like black and white detective movies? The thing is, even if you don't know exactly what the outfits and such remind you of, the fact that they invoke that memory is awesome. I love costume design specifically because you don't always have to be detail for detail. It's enough if you can invoke a specific image in the mind of the audience. Junhoe really rocks the look in particular.

The choreography is also very reminiscent of musical theater! Obviously all of kpop is coordinated to be group based and there's always been formations that are similar to what iKON did, however the slide and arms out movement is very much so a musical theater thing. The flashing hands thing is as well! They really nailed down the idea of musical theater, and I love that so much! It's a sort of genre bend you might not expect from kpop but iKON's out here showing you that it is possible.

I love the lighting sequence. The blue and purple are so good, and once again it just invokes that older musical theater style because even as there's color, there's also a lot of clear white/yellow light. Choosing just two colors can be really impactful as the fewer colors there are, the more concentrated the stage looks. Consider for example, Pentagon's Follow stage in RTK. Choosing to only go with gold light and then using other lights as accents really enhanced the theme as well as made the stage easier to follow. Humans are designed to track movement and flashing, so having fewer things to distract us means we focus more on iKON's performance and less on the entire set.

I'll skip to the transition here just because the rest of the muscial theater sequence is very similar to what I've already said.

The transition is a bit jarring if I'm being honest. I think the fact that everyone else reacted like ?! as well means that the transition isn't as smooth as it could have been, especially considering the next song is Killing me. I mean it's pretty straight forward story wise: you fall in love, you undergo the break up and you're hurt but you're happy that you loved. But then still you feel regret and pain because you broke up. I think what would've made this smoother was if DK had one more dance sequence with the female dancer from the beginning. If she walks away from him and then he falls to the floor and has that heartbeat moment, I think that would've helped ease into the next song much easier.

The fact that they end on the line You’re too precious to just leave in the past though is a good transition point. It then bleeds into how in Killing Me, the lingering memories stick deeply. So lyrically it makes a lot of sense. I just don't like how the arrangement just switches off so suddenly, from cheerful jazz to then a rain fall heart beat thing. There's just something missing in between, visually or auditorily.

Something I've noticed about iKON is that they really like using their arms. In Rhythm Ta (intro stage), this stage and later in Inception (Round 2), iKON always has a dance sequence that involves moving arms, kind of like snakes? But as trees? Tree branches as snakes? Yeah. But I literally adore this kind of consistency. It's really cool to watch especially because as the rounds go on, they do it with more people so like obv the 100 sec intro was just the members of iKON but then round 1 had more and then round 2 was literally so many people!! It creates such a cool visual effect! For this performance, I do wish the lighting wasn't as dark as it was. I think some flashing black light would've made this awesome but it's still cool as it is.

PLEASE THE DANCE BREAK IS SO CLEAN. The move where Yunhyeong moves his arms in a circle and the members mirror that (screen left goes from low to high while screen right goes from high to low) is really pleasing to see. I could already tell from the 100 sec intro performance but iKON is has really good bounce to their movement. They pull off the isolation and popping that everyone else does but they do it so smoothly.

I think part of what gives iKON their bounce and flow is that when they stop for a second, it's very clean. There's no extra wobbling that happens with others. And again I really do think their dedicating to using their arms in wide gestures helps contribute to that contrast, because when you go wide movement to stop to wide movement again, your eyes get tricked into thinking the stop is a lot smoother than it could actually be.

I already could tell from before but Donghyuk and Jinhwan really are amazing dancers. Donghyuk is a master of more technical aspects but Jinhwan is really elegant in his moves? That little body roll he does just before Chanwoo's part is so good.

Chanwoo's acting!! Specifically his lines go "Why did I meet her? / Why did I choose this break up?" And then the next part that they all sing in is "I loved her to death / The extinguished fire is burning up again" which makes the fire lighting up so much more obvious. I also think that the fire stand area kind of looks like a coffin so lighting it on fire is a way of mourning the relationship? It visually looks awesome and connects really well to the story line itself, especially since it's a very intense moment to a soft drop in the song. Contrast creates focus!!

And then we have the literally name brand stuff iKON is made out of: bouncing hip hop. It fits them so well, it really does!

Gosh okay I know iKON hasn't been ranking very high and on initial impact, they honestly rank about mid to low for me as well but the more I watch their performances, the more I recognize bits and pieces of artistry they put into their performances. I really start to think like, no wonder they have so many award winning songs. I'm not really sure if they're suited to the way that this competition show works? Because I think first impressions are everything, and although obviously the kingdom judges will understand the lyricism and view the set designs and such more clearly, iKON's performances are still better suited to being watched repeatedly. Their first impression is always good but curiously not enough as far as initial impact goes. It's kind of like it just sticks to you so you want to see it over and over again. Which is really not great for competition shows like this where first impression and impact are everything, which I get but also it lowkey sucks because you miss a lot of details and it sort of forces everyone into the highly impactful performances rather than nuanced ones.

I've mentioned this before but because Kingdom has so much more for set design, costumes, lighting, it can be really distracting from the groups themselves. I think iKON actually does really well with having "still" sets, in which they're the focus, but I feel like that leads to more people picking out their flaws? I dunno, I really like iKON's performances so much and yet I can't find it in my heart to rank them higher than 3rd at any given point. I do just think it's the style of competition.

STILL, it means so much that they stick to their own identity rather than conform to Kingdom's standards. And clearly as they rise through the ranks, more people are recognizing that. So iKON! Fighting!!