#Can co-exist. How? That's up to player imagination

[modelxis]

Honestly, this image is somewhat funnier when you decided to look from Vent/Aile's POV

Like, if you believe in the theory that the not-chosen zx protagonist just continue being a normal worker at Giro Express

The moment Vent/Aile see this-

"WTF!? That's my co-worker!"

Edit: ooops, this cipher was shown in Aelous stage so Vent/Aile couldn't see this, unless model A can shown them again (for some reason)

[patchwork-crow-writes]

Kralsei is Doomed (and that's why I love it)

To me, Kralsei is a commentary on the idea of being in love with the idea of being in love - that is to say, being enthralled with the anticipation of courtship and falling in love, without really taking into consideration how the ensuing relationship would... actually work.

The depth of longing that is evident in Ralsei towards Kris is indeed intoxicating, and as I've mentioned previously, the game itself seems to push this pairing in the way that certain events are made to happen - most notably the acid tunnel of love running parallel to Noelle and Susie's heart-covered ferris-wheel ride. And add to that the whole nature of dark worlds as synonymous with dreams, fantasy and imagination. From a narrative perspective, the relationship seems almost destined to occur.

But I think Ralsei might find himself a bit adrift if and/or when he actually succeeds in wooing Kris... or the player, or whoever is predominantly in charge by that point. Like a dog chasing a car, I'm not certain he'd know quite what to do if he got what he was after, because at that point it stops being a flight of fancy and becomes real... which is very much the domain of the light world, and outside the darkness's purview.

And when getting swept up in the thrill of romance stories, it's easy to forget that the "struggle" does not end just because the couple share a tender kiss or whatever. Reality can, and often does, quickly ensue, and questions of long-term compatibility in the face of waning desire can spell doom for any relationship, no matter how "destined" it might seem in the run up to it.

This does not even take into consideration the biggest obstacle to this relationship - to exist in a form that we as players might recognise as reciprocal, it'd have to either be entirely confined to the dark world, or there'd have to be some way to bend the rules of Deltarune's reality to allow Ralsei to manifest in the light world, which... presents entirely new problems, not least because of the whole "Roaring" shindig.

Indeed, the more likely scenario, aside from the whole thing fizzling out or otherwise coming to an unfortunate end, is that Kris begins wearing the horned headband that is supposed to represent Ralsei, which as romantic a gesture as that might be, does not exactly live up to the promise that the pairing hints at... although in a strange way, such an outcome might end up strengthening the fantasy element of Kralsei, as a nascent relationship brought to a tragic end by the unflinching and immutable rules of light and dark. Such relationship never has to be actually tested by reality, which allows it to exist in a sort of crystalised state, a seemingly-perfect snapshot of a love that can perpetually exist in an idealised form.

It might be worth watching in future chapters to see how Kris and Ralsei's friendship develops, as it might give hints as to how Deltarune itself might end. Should the above come to pass, and the two come together only to be tragically wrenched apart by outside forces, it will suggest that the dark worlds will not be completely closed off, as the fantasy of Kralsei will be allowed to persist unchallenged by reality. If, however, they drift apart, or decide to remain friends only, or perhaps even if they break up mid-game, it would allow for a cleaner break between light and dark, suggesting some sort of sundering of the bridge between the two.

This, of course, sidelines any other interpretations of their relationship, such as an extended metaphor for self-love and acceptance, or of a coming-to-terms with the past, though I don't see that these can't co-exist alongside the above.

One final note: much of my focus has been on Ralsei rather than Kris, and there are grounds to argue that Kris does not wish, nor will they ever wish, to pursue a relationship with Ralsei. However, the fantasy of Kralsei's potential that exists both in Ralsei's head, and in players receptive to the game's suggestions, almost renders Kris's feelings and opinions on the subject moot. In other words: the reality of what Kris might want, even if that DOES end up wanting to be with Ralsei, is supplanted by the fantasy of their potential thrilling romance story.

In this, the core themes of Deltarune are again reinforced - Kris's choices do not matter, even if their choice would align with the fantasy-romance being suggested. This is not to suggest that I do not care what happens to Kris, but it does highlight that there is a narrative reason for Kralsei, or at least the idea of Kralsei, to exist in the game, and lends further weight to the idea that it is ultimately doomed to failure, regardless of the wishes of its participants.

[deepspace-mens-socialarchives]

Thank you so, SO much capturing and sharing the different chat/dialogue options with the LIs!!! I cant imagine how much time and work it takes but I’m so appreciative. Sometimes I take forever choosing a chat option but I feel better knowing that you’ll likely upload the alternative options for others to see.

Anon ,may your favorite snacks never goes out of production .

Working for one social act(post/chat) takes away 1/2 - 1 hour of my life . And I have made over 230posts 🫠🫠 and over 300 is pending now that I picked up both Xavier and Rafayel to stay up to date.

I do wish to wrap up everything as fast as possible.

My only gripe is that I am not discoverable. I believe it's not a unique experience to be curious about what happens in other options .But I am afraid many players who have this issue might not know that I am here trying to do it ,and that they can rest assured and proceed without the fear of missing out any responses.

There are some accounts I see that engage in posts regularly and it makes my day . But sometimes when I post and I don't see them then it makes me feel guilty ,perhaps the algorithm didn't reach them..should I tag them? Would that be appropriate?

I can not afford to promote my page with financial means either

I don't want more engagement as clout . I just want to reach more players and let them know that they can somewhat count on this page .

I still wish having a wiki was a better idea because then a lot of people would contribute and help around ,while here it's just me . And imagine discovering that the thing I am doing already exists and done better by a generous player💀I would burry myself and never come back🫠😭

I do appreciate all the support and appreciation I get . Thank you for being here with me . Thank you for seeing the posts . You really make my struggle worth it .

I am really in need of Players who completed the Bounty hunt lvl 9s with Rafayel Xavier & Sylus . I can handle my man zayne because I have higher affinity with him in more than one account . But I only have single account for rest . So please .Help .

If you cleared it with him , DM me for further information to co operate . You will be credited where it's due . Don't worry.

Once I wrap all these up I decided to change my Acc name too and probably open a Twitter account for this purpose..Right now it's only a dream 🫠

Once again ,thank you.

Thank you to 200 people that trusted my account throughout these months . I pray I never let you down.

Sincerely

Fay(admin)

[animentality]

I'm not looking forward to season 3 of Blue Lock.

There will be good moments sprinkled here and there, like Bachira doing his monster thing, Chigiri stealing from Kaiser, Nagi and Reo getting re-married, but the Neo Egoist League Arc is way too long. It's gonna be like 25 full episodes, since the entire arc is over a hundred chapters long, and most of them will be Isagi beefing with Kaiser against players we don't care about.

Plus, all the matches are basically the same. Isagi's team wins every one, and he gets the final goal.

Also he calls Kaiser a bitch.

It's not that I hate Kaiser, I actually love him, I think he's the best character introduced in the NEL arc, it's just that the first arcs of Blue Lock knew not to focus on just one rivalry all the time.

We got new rivalries all throughout the First Selection.

We had an even dispersal of, ok Bachira's a new rival, now here's Kunigami, now here's Chigiri, now here's Nagi and Reo - these were all interesting characters who had space to breathe and develop personal relationships with our MC.

They all had matches where they got to shine as the main play makers. Kunigami got super goals. Bachira outdribbled an entire team on his own. Chigiri had the most epic First Selection moment, when he broke the chains weighing him down. Reo and Nagi were introduced as a demonic duo, and had an entire match to show how good they were together.

Even that side ass character Kuon had an interesting moment...hell, he had two. He fucked up two different games, betrayed his team, and then redeemed himself.

He wasn't even a major character, but he had a singular story to tell, that didn't rely entirely on the specific match he played in, or the goals he scored.

But the Neo Egoist League Arc is like...a rushed mess, that somehow managed to take up 40% of the entire manga at the same time.

It's got the dense, complicated character juggling of the U20 arc, except not good, lol. U20 had high stakes. It was intense, and every character was juggled, sure, but at least they all had their time to shine. That's 22+ characters who had to get some focus, plus the substitutions. I'd say Kaneshiro did a banger job of maintaining the tension, while still moving us around from person to person with consistency. But NEL?

The stakes were immediately lowered by the fact that winning the matches doesn't matter, scoring does.

And it like, cycles through every important character, gives them a single goal, and then proceeds on to the next player who needs to get a goal. Then it neglects that character for another twenty chapters.

There's no even pacing here.

And what's worse is that most of the players on these teams are...not that interesting. Karasu and Otoya, most of the European team members, who basically don't exist... I personally don't like Niko, who just does the same thing Isagi does, or Yukimiya (although at least Yukimiya's backstory is depressingly real, and kinda compelling, even if he himself isn't utilized that well).

I like Hiori, but Nanase and Kurona and Kiyora...I mean, they're kinda just there to give Isagi assists...

They're not quirky and weird and relatable like the freaks of First Selection. They don't get the time and spotlight they need for me to really care.

Like any of these characters could probably be great if the pacing was better, but... it's like the mangaka will just speed through a backstory before one of them passes to Isagi. And then that's it.

The only true spotlight is given to Kaiser or Isagi.

Now Isagi is the MC, so that's alright, although can I just say, he's kind of unlikable during the NEL arc, like, Jesus Christ, was he...awful when he was against Man City...if he hadn't apologized to Yukimiya...hmmm...and after an entire match of calling Nagi and Reo slurs too, lol...but I digress...

And Kaiser is good, he's great, but can you imagine how boring the First Selection arc would've been if it was entirely dedicated to Isagi just beefing with Barou?

Like come on.

It's basically just a glorified training arc, that abandons what made Blue Lock interesting in the first place, which is the high stakes, but then doesn't have the decency to at least still give us the great character drama that we've come to expect from BL.

And that's a shame.

It's also fucking ridiculous for a training arc to be so long.

God.

I hope it ends soon.

Please get back on track.

[syndrossi]

With Rhaegar and Jon trying to change things for the better, cos I don’t see them just letting the dance play out without at least trying to prevent it! I wonder if there are any events that just CANNOT be changed 🤔. Like imagine if they put sooo much effort into preventing Luke cutting out Aemond’s eye, and then it ends up Baela being the one to do it! The circumstances could be completely different but the result the same!

Loving the Halloween treats btw ❤️

Aw, glad the treats have been enjoyable! I've had fun with them, and they often let me do some low-stakes world-building (or characterization studies) at the same time, which is nice.

On the changing things front, I'm not a big "things are fated to happen!" enjoyer, but there are existing pressures and motivations that carry a certain...inertia, I suppose, which makes them difficult to redirect. Otto is determined to usurp the throne in Aegon's name, once Viserys dies. The animosity between the Green vs Black kids is a growing monster. The tension of Alicent vs Rhaenyra and the rumors swirling about the Velaryon boys' trueborn status are strong.

The individual events themselves are unlikely to play out the same, but each of those pressures introduce countless opportunities for variations on a theme. The animosity between the kids means a fight could break out in all kinds of circumstances, to roughly the same end result, even if the details and the players differ.

I think where a lot of time travel plots can feel "off" (and the concept of "fated events" can feel easier to write) is that the protagonists try too hard to prevent certain events that feel like major catalysts. If they succeed, the result sometimes doesn't feel earned. And if they fail, then it feels like there is no free will and everything is fated.

What the heroes really need to be focusing on is the broader picture; in identifying the root causes to treat the disease, rather than the symptoms, because the fever will break through eventually, otherwise. That's how you can "earn" the trajectory of a narrative. If the boys put in a ton of work to redirect some of those pressures, then some payoff is deserved. (And sometimes, there are external pressures that did not exist before that exert their own influence, both positive and negative as far as the boys' goals are concerned.)

[tsprants]

*infomercial voice* BUT WAIT THERES MORE!

stanley’s wife. the apartment ending. huuuhhh huuhhhh? 😝

based on many other endings in the game, it’s a fairly safe bet that that ending was completely false, and therefore, made up by the narrator! why is it false, you ask? GOOD FUCKING QUESTION!!!! look, a lot of the endings in the game are contradictory, which is fine in of itself, because it’s a psychological game, right? not too focused on story! i think. BUT but but butttt having contradicting endings means that not all of them can be true! picking up what i’m putting down? noooo? okay let me explain (i’m going insane) the apartment, or i think i’ve seen it called the wife/mannequin, ending is where the narrator basically tells us that the stanley parable doesn’t exist. stanley is a boring guy with a boring job and not a lot of choice in what he does all day, his life is a routine. so he starts to imagine stories in his head, adventures and such, and he likes to imagine these exciting things happening to him. eventually he starts imagining all of co-workers, and his boss, just disappear. gone. the thought excites him, so he imagines two doors, and he gets to choose which to go through, and he doesn’t care what’s on the other side, because it’s just thrilling that his choice MATTERS! so he keeps imagining it, and he calls it the stanley parable. buuutttttt massive fat juicy gyatt, BUT he starts having trouble differentiating between this fantasy and reality. the narrator claims that the longer he spends indulging in the story, he’s slowly killing himself, just sitting at his desk pressing buttons and rotting away in real life, living in his head. he claims that he’s trying to help him realise what’s happening to him, but he has a purpose to serve. what’re the implications of all of this? i’m glad you asked even though you didn’t and probably won’t read any of this! which is fine i’m mostly doing it for myself (if you’re reading this through send me a bucket emoji). but back to what i’m saying. firstly, the apartment ending implies that stanley exists outside of the parable. he’s a real person, the office is real (to a certain extent, if the story is imagined then a lot of what we see in the building is false) and the narrator DIDNT create him. in fact, if you go for this ending (which is basically the equivalent of “oh it was all in his head/a dream haha oopsie” in movies) it suggests that the narrator is just a voice in his head, and therefore doesn’t exist. which means there can’t be a script. employee 432/timekeeper, TECHNICALLY, could not exist, at least by a lot of the lore the fandom gives them (i would also like to talk about tk at some point but not rn i think), and maybe even the curator. now, i would like to add that technically, yes, this ending could explain the game. it could explain every single nonsensical thing that happens, every ending, bam! it’s in stanley’s head! but come on, this is the stanley parable. when has it ever been that easy? not to mention, if you try to LEAVE the apartment building during the ending, a brick wall shows up and stops you, and the narrator says “sorry, you’re in MY story now” (hot), implying that yes, the story is in fact his. and just that: a story. not to mention the broom closet ending! again! narrator is a. not human and b. addresses the player! which would invalidate a lot of other endings, very important endings to the game and lore. the skip button ending, the not stanley ending,the zending, all of it would be fake, and (you guessed it!) the apartment ending. how could stanley be both a real person that exists outside of the parable, and have a player? now, that mostly invalidates the broom closet ending, and not actually the apartment ending, but it does show that the apartment ending conflicts heavily with a lot of other endings. so, to summarise, yeah, the apartment ending COULD technically explain the game, all of it. i, however, think it to be false. it just doesn’t make sense to me, and invalidates just so much of the lore for other characters, fandom theories, and other endings

[added ten minutes after i wrote this] OH MY GOD I FORGOT TO SAY SO MUCH okay so if the narrator is trying to ‘help’ stanley what about the countdown ending? insanity ending? games ending? huh? huhhhh? BUT BUT BUT also most of what narry does seems to be reactionary! so can you consider him an antagonist? I DONT KNOW!!! would he be a dictator? I ALSO DON’T KNOW! it’s three in the morning

[indie-ttrpg-of-the-week]

Lancer RPG

pfft, your mech is your dead mom's soul? well MY mech is co-piloted by Cthulhu!

Touchstones: Armored Core, General Mech Media

Genre: Mecha, Tactics game

What is this game?: Lancer is a tactical TTRPG focused on mechs, and the folks piloting them, with a sturdy "Gameplay over Realism" mentality to its game design

How's the gameplay?: Lancer is a tactical RPG using primarily d20s for attack rolls and other problem solving, it's primarily based on the tactical combat rules of Dungeons and Dragons 4th edition, however it is mostly its own thing, with new mechanics, simple but fun character creation, and a high focus on quick and aggressive combat rather than lengthy and Defensive combat. in effect imagine character creation as going to a subway (of mech parts) and picking your ingredients, with a mech's frame being your choice of bread, and combat as an SRPG of your choosing but everyone is in giant mechs

Out of Combat is a bit different, to the point where I didn't even bring it up during my first draft of this! the Out of Combat rules are deliberately bare bones, you can very easily insert straight up a different game in there, or mod it to be something else. But I wouldn't recommend it, as the rules by themselves are 100% useable, fun, and blend into the combat portions pretty easily, Lancer is fully aware of this, and the lack of out of combat depth is partially covered by the KTB book, which gives characters simple out of character skills

What's the setting (If any) like?: Lancer throws you into a world where mankind's either solved, or is close to solving, most of the issues back on earth... too bad we also colonized other planets 10k years ago! Now, while Earth thrives, planets outside of it struggle with poverty, imperialism, dictatorships, and human and non-human rights issues, Earth tries its best to help, but they're stretched very thin. Lancer also has many small details to its setting that are way too in-depth to get into right now, but a major one is the existance of non-human people, eldritch beings strapped to computers in order to create effective and fully sentient artificial intelligence

What's the tone?: Lancer's tone is generally speaking, hopeful. Empires are mighty, but there are people fighting, and they will be toppled, mankind's horrors have attempted to wipe out entire species, but survivors remain, and secretly thrive. While there is some doom and gloom and grimdark stuff, especially with how the highly unethical and wicked corporations are treated as necessary evils for enterprising pilots, but overall lancer is a setting where no matter how bad things get, there will always be hope

Session length: A few hours, it depends on how mean your GM is, generally speaking however combat heavy sessions will only run you around 2-3 hours, with RP sprinkled in between

Number of Players: I generally like to recommend around 4 or more, but I'm sure you can do it with less

Malleability: While lancer's mechanics are pretty hardset in its setting, the existance of Beacon RPG and how at its core its very much a Lancer hack does show that Lancer can be hacked into differing settings, a very popular one I've seen is Magical Girl Lancer.

Resources: Lancer's primary resource is Comp/Con, it effectively serves as a do everything tool for lancer, allowing you to manage characters, encounter, and homebrew, while also having a very slick and easy to use UI Lancer also has many pre-made modules, of... varying quality, Siren's song and Solstice rain are pretty good, Wallflower is very good but the encounters are of mixed quality, and it's not great for introducing people to the game in my experience

Homebrew is also fairly popular, new frames, NPC types, Bonds, and modules are all pretty popular, my personal favorite being Field Guide to Suldan and Field Guide to Iridia, I also enjoy Field Guide to Liminal Spaces though that one's a bit on the "Be Very Careful" side

Overall, lancer is effectively THE indie ttrpg, being quality, fun, and affordable, with the core rulebook being 100% free if you just wish to see the player-side content, it's a great time, and everyone who's interested in the indie ttrpg scene should check it out at least once

[erkauberscream]

"sir, there's a christianity in your murdergame" - on religious motifs in End Transmission -part 1/2-

- a christianity? just one?

- just one.

- a singular christianity. a singularity, if you will.

Okay so I finally decided to write down my thoughts on the biblical motifs found in the End Transmission chapter. They mainly come from the Book of Genesis, but you'll have to forgive me for not quoting specific verses, especially since I've no idea which version to use. For context, I grew up Catholic, and thus most of this stuff feels fairly obvious to me. None of this should go into any sort of deep Bible lore, in any case.

I promise it'll all make sense in the end. Huge thanks to my bae @whispy-witch, who brainstormed this thing with me and is currently translating it, my co-player @triopse who's responsible for my obsession with this silly murdergame, and @blue-jacket-blues, who prompted me to finally write baby's first meta.

With that out of the way, let's start with the thing that tipped me off.

1. The Fruit

That's probably the most obvious one - Gabe's first memory in "Existence", the part where he asks if he can eat a fruit he found on Dvarka.

(is2g immediately clear the guy is an engineer and not a biologist. Gabe is like a fucking cat, this clone is gonna land on a new planet, see a fruit, ask "can I eat it?" and not wait for an answer. he probably chews on foil too.) The answer is obviusly no. The fruit is forbidden... at least for now. In the Book of Genesis, first people were allowed to eat everything in the Garden but the fruit of one specific tree and were told eating it would cause their death. The reasoning Gabe receives is similar:

2. The Garden of Eden

Not much to say about this one. The Garden was supposed to be an ideal place for humankind... and boy, the way Dvarka is described sure sounds like a paradise, eh?

(let's all agree to ignore the way Toba Landing map looks in-game. maybe the Entity fucked it up, bc this shithole is far from how I'd imagine heaven on Earth)

3. The "Eve"

tldr Eve was tempted to eat forbidden fruit, which resulted in humankind knowing right from wrong, good from evil, and being banished from the Garden - to the dangerous outside world.

Guess which little freak gets to be Dvarka's Eve...

Hux gaining sentience can be easily interpreted as an Eve allegory - though in this case it happens by accident, by him touching an alien crystal in ancient temple. (The fact that was specifically a temple feels meaningful as well.)

He gains knowledge about the meaning of death and, what's more important, he's able to judge his own actions, describing them as "clearing - no, destroying" the remnants of ancient civilization.

This may be a reach but my qpr (who hates horror and know all the dbd stuff only from me by proxy, the poor thing) pointed out the fact that the first thing Adam and Eve did after consuming the fruit of knowledge was to cover their naked bodies...

...similar to Hux' whole quest of creating himself a new body.

What also feels important to notice is that Eve was created to serve Adam - much like co-bots were constructed to serve humans.

And talking about Mr First Dude...

4. The "Adam"

So with all this in mind, you may ask: where's Adam in this methaphor? And I think I may have an answer.

Eve shares the fruit of knowledge with her husband. Only one person beside Hux had a contact with the alien crystal... and it was through Hux's data.

This person was Gabriel.

(btw it's funny that to this point Gabe was only trying to stop Hux through non-violent means, even after seeing him holding Sarah's fucking head. All it takes is one look at some alien code and our boy Soma is fighting for his life while also trying to kill the murderbot with fire. That's growth, baby!)

Anyway that's all for now. I decided to leave the last bonus point for the next time, as it's not connected that much to the Book of Genesis. I'll probably write part 2 in a few days or so.

[peaky-shelby]

NEW ROMANTICS X MBAPPÉ [13]

» summary: in which an arrogant and talented football player (the best of his time as some say) and a focused and harsh critic of a journalist are gonna have to find a way to co-exist.

» chapter 13: back to the start

» Writer's note: this chapter was especially hard to write Because we are so close to the finish line and i don't want to end 😭😭😭 hope you got tissues with you!! See you at the end!

» Taglist: @moonchildohh @formulahoe @princetongirlll818 @mavieesttriste16 @kiwisa @godessstela @hummusxx @kodzuvk @pink-manz @corbyns-smile @ippid @jayruiewo265738 @blueanfield @mrs-bellingham @sorceresski @sooblovebot  @okayymochi @army7g @j-rbps @heli991113  @markhyucksmells @chaotic-taco-collector-blog @i0veless @photmath @http-isabela @rainytelevisionfilmwagon

@formula101x @neymarloverxxx @cepolar @freespirit-51 @marialikescherries @superswaggycooch @lunasmindinwriting @shadysandwichghoul @contrastedfandom @alexxcorona113 @951am @jinsoulorbitzen12 @books-loverss @l0verl4ne @kypostsblog @bluberrycheezk @hottieluvr @calcaneous @444jodie @dudde-44 @neysgf @wallflowerjournal @p4rkyonce @toclic @kyliannnkkk  @mad-die45 @mentalbaddie @karotland @et-in-arcadia-ego77 @kymb-10

“You and Mason figuring things out again, ha?” he questioned, ones they reached the outdoor venue and hid behind a wall, so no one would see them. Taylor snorted at the comment, she could hear jealousy all over his tone, she could even feel him staring at her. She turned around to face him.

“Back to being an asshole again, ha?”

“You sure he won’t be looking for you right now?”

“What are you doing here?” she asked but the question sounded more stupid out loud then it did on her mind. Of course, he was here, he was supposed to be here with the French team. It would be weird if he wasn’t. She looked at his leg “I mean why are you not locked up in a hospital or something with that horrible leg.”

“Same reason you are not locked up in your bedroom after writing that horrible article.”

She laughed, an evil laugh. She bit her tongue annoyed, crossing her arms and looking away because that was a low blow and it seemed like they were back to their old ways. The times when they bit on each other like cats and dogs and scarred one another deep.

“I’m not doing this.” She said and walked past him. He grabbed her arm, forcing her to turn to him again, pulling her close to him. He had missed her skin, her perfume, her aura. He wished she’d go on calling him a piece of shit if that meant she’d stay for another minute with him and ignore Mason Mount. He moved his hand up her arm, making sure the contact gave away his dirty thoughts. Because he wanted her to know, he still thought about her under him or over him.

She looked at his hand, memories swarming in her mind like flies of all the times he’d done that in Paris. Kylian made a step forward, leaking his lips and looking up and down at her. She looked different. The fire in her eyes was gone, like she had no will to fight him at all.

“How did you do it?” she asked suddenly. His eyes lifted up to hers, he wasn’t sure what she meant. She pulled her arm away, replacing his touch with her own by putting her hand over where his used to be. “I can imagine but I want to know for sure. Why didn’t she release the article about us? It was ready! It would have been front page. The biggest headline. So why, did it never break out?”

“Why does it matter--”

“Because it does!” she snapped. “So, tell me, or this conversation is over.” He hesitated. Hid his hands in his pockets. She examined him, her suspicious getting confirmed while she looked at him. “How much did you give her and what else did you promise her because it couldn’t have been just money!” he didn’t respond. She went closer, slapped his arm “how fucking much, Kylian?” she asked louder, tried to hit him again but he snatched her hands—

“Arrêtés!” he yelled, his eyes staring right in hers and she tried to push him away but he pulled her closer instead, their chest bumping onto each other. She looked at his lips, it was an instinct. She craved him as much as she hated him. He angled himself so he’d have access to her lips if he wanted to, if he needed to. “I told you before you left that I’d stop it and that’s what I did. The how is not important.”

“My savior” she mumbled but there was so much irony in her voice, it made him distance himself, take a good look at her. He narrowed his eyes.

“That’s what you have to say?”

“I have a bomb over my head for the rest of my life, what do you want me to say? I Left because I was ready for it to explode and now, I have to look over my shoulder, listening to all these endless rumors—”

“You left because you wanted to ran away—”

“Yes, and you made sure I have to keep running by ‘protecting’ me—”

“Protecting you?” now he would be the one to get defensive, regretful of thinking even for a moment that he could show his true emotions for his ex coach “Don’t give yourself so much credit, I did it for me, as I do everything, hasn’t that been your complaint ever since you met me?” She didn’t answer. “I mean imagine, talented player, can’t hold himself together around an assistant. Pitiful, I’d say!” Something broke inside of her, something she didn’t know she had. He bit his tongue, tasting the poison before speaking he next words “At the end of the day it’s not my fault if you go on fucking footballers and the story comes back around—”

It was a hard slap. He’d be lying if he said that he didn’t expect it or deserved it. When he looked up again, he could see her eyes, swollen, red and tears under them. He had been the cause of that, same way she had been the cause of his aching cheek and it seemed that all the two were capable of was hurting each other, even when they wanted to help.

Trish could hear her ringtone, she knew her phone was somewhere in the bathroom stall, definitely not in her dress pocket anymore. No, that space was filled by Jude’s hands instead while he was leaving his taste on her lips, kissing every corner of her mouth. She was tied on him, pinned against the glass walls that separated the stalls and breathing him in. How did they find themselves in these situations, she didn’t know but she liked it. She opened her eyes to search for the device but a moan left her lips immediately after as she felt Jude sucking on her neck, making her forget what she was looking for in the first place. The phone went silent for a moment, the ringtone echoed again and she tried to untangle herself from the tall beautiful man but he held her tighter, his lips finding hers again.

“let it ring.” He whispered in her mouth.

“You’re being needy.”

“Bite me,” he responded quickly.

Trish laughed “Metaphorically or Literally?”

Jude pulled away only so she could see the sneaky grin on his face “both.”

Trish couldn’t hide her smile as dived in his neck, left bites on his veins. Despite their need to stay locked with each other, the phone didn’t seem like it was going to give up. Trish groaned on his neck and jumped off, she ducked and found the phone under the toilet. As she got up, Jude put his arms around her, to keep her close while she answered the call but she pulled away just seconds later, and turned around to face him, a terrified expression in her eyes.

“Oh my god—” she whispered before hiding her mouth in shock.

“I’m sorry..” it was an honest apology. It came a few minutes later after he had spoken his brutal and offensive words. She had turned her back on him, he was looking at the floor, his hand over his aching cheekbone. She sniffed in her tears, wiping them with the back of her hand. Perhaps this is how it would always be between the two, hurting and healing each other simultaneously. She nodded, knowing that she must have said worst to him at some point, so did she really have any right to be mad at him? Well… even if she did, she had no strength to. His warmth came like a veil around her, as he walked closer and embraced her from behind, his head lost in her hair. He whispered the words that she’d never admit out loud: “Tu m'as manqué.” He kissed her neck, the way he used to in her small apartment, in the city of love, the moments of sin and weakness that they shared. She let him, he kept going, she ached to turn and face him, kiss him, taste him. His fingers crawled slightly under her shirt, the skin to skin contact making both of them dizzy and she was so close to letting go of her defenses, sinking into him, an ocean that if she could breath underwater, she’d stay in forever.

She turned, their lips inches from each other, it’s that moment before jumping in the water, you know it’s gonna be cold and endless, it scares you.

“TAY!”

She moved away, behind her stood a breathless Trish and a worried looking Jude. Something was wrong, she just didn’t know what. Trish hesitated, like the words were stuck on her lips but she couldn’t find the strength to speak them. Taylor noticed the way that Jude had his hand placed on her shoulder. She moved closer to them, losing Kylian’s warmth completely. “What happened?” Trish never said it. Her eyes were loud enough. “Is he ok?”

“In the hospital.” Said Jude.

“Beth tried to call you—” taylor looked in her bag for her phone, she tried to open it but the battery had died, typical.

“Fuck!” She threw her phone back in her bag and walked away, heading to the parking lot for her car. Her heartbeat echoed in her mind. Jude stepped in front of her, his tall figure blocking her view .

“You’re not driving.” He said strictly “I’ll take you and Trish to the hospital.”

Kylian watched the scene unfold, feeling helpless yet again. He followed them to Jude’s car, only stopping when they got in. He stood by the window. “let me know how he is.”

“I will.” She said, part of her wanting him to come with her, to hold her if the worst case scenario were to come true. He gave her hand a light squeeze and he stepped back to let the car leave.

Lily Wilock, was a vibrant girl. She had long black hair, curly, like her mother’s Beth. She didn’t know a lot about the world yet. She hadn’t known any heartache in her life either, but there was something about this night. Everyone had a worried expression, the bright hospital lights were hurting her eyes and she wanted to sleep but even her mother’s hug felt weird like she wasn’t completely with her. She knew her dad, Charlie, was somewhere in one of those white rooms, sleeping because he needed more help than usual and these rooms were more relaxing than usual rooms, or at least that’s what she was told. It was the sound of quick footsteps that had her turning her head as she sat on the black couch in the hall. That’s when she saw her sister, running, Trish was with her, she was always funny. And a man that she had met a couple of times—she liked him because last time she saw him, he ha picked her up on hos shoulders and she felt like she could see the whole world from up there.

“How is he?” Asked Taylor and lily looked up at her, biting her finger while watching at the grown ups. The tall man walked up to her, kneeling in front of her so they were the same height and smiled, waving, taking her attention off the conversation that Taylor was having with her mother.

“Look at you, all grown up. You’re almost taller than me!”

Lily laughed, blushing and hiding her face “Am not!” she said.

“Yes you are look!” he moved his hand between them, making it look like hers was higher than his and the two of them laughed. It was a loud laugh that came out of lily, one that you don’t hear in hospital hallways. Taylor looked at them, remembering that she had to put a mask on for her sister. She went and knelt next to Jude, forcing a smile on her face.

“He says I’m tall!” complained Lily.

“Does he?” asked Taylor, the color of her voice coming out sadder than she meant it to.

“Look how tall you can be—” Jude picked her up, throwing her over his shoulder again and spinning her around. Trish sat next to Taylor, patting her shoulder. And she had to go against every emotion and need in her body, to not start crying because she knew exactly what was going to follow.

Trish and Jude left a few hours later, if she was in her right mind, she would have questioned them leaving together. But she wasn’t. At some point she drifted off to sleep with lily in her arms. Her mind was awake, ready to hear the alarm, but her body had given in and there was something about listening to a little kid breathing in her sleep. She opened her eyes when she felt a slight tickling on her cheek, she thought it’d be Beth and almost jumped of the couch but it was someone else. Dressed in his hoody, black sunglasses to hide his eyes and a mask to cover his features. No one else could recognize him, but she knew his touch all too well.

“Ky?” she whispered.

“hey.”

“You came.”

“You called.”

Taylor smiled, she looked at Lily who had found a hiding place in her arms and at Beth who was sitting in the end of the couch, head laid on her hand. Kylian smiled at Lily. “She’s cuter in person.” Taylor hummed in response, rubbing her eyes. “You wanna go get some coffee?” he asked and she nodded, carefully moving away from lily and getting up, she told Beth she’d be back in just a few minutes with coffee for the both of them.

Taylor was still wearing her mini dress, but Jude had left his jacket for her. Kylian would have offered his hoodie if he wasn’t scared of being recognized. They walked in silence, their fingers almost brushing as they walked. Taylor ordered their coffees but Kylian handed his card to the barista before she had time to pay. The barista took a good look at him but didn’t say anything. The two of them made their way back to where they were before, Kylian took the opportunity and interlocked his hand with hers, making her stop and pulled her in a private corner they could be alone for a minute. He moved his mask down and she took of his sunglasses because she needed to look at them. He leaned his forehead on hers, giving her any energy he had. She held his hand tighter and let her body drop on his chest, he rubbed her back, silence. That’s where the two of them thrived, that’s where they understood each other the most.

“Have you heard anything about Luna?” she asked suddenly.

He held back his smile “she’s thriving.”

“I miss her.” She paused “can you tell your friend to send some pictures?”

He stroked her hair behind her ear. “I’ll tell him.”

“thanks.” She answered and lowered her head. He noticed, sorrow returning.

“He’ll be ok—”

“Don’t say that.” She said quickly.

He hesitated ��what do you want me to say?”

So many things, she thought. He brushed her hair, kissing the top of her head. “I don’t know.” He moved his hand to her cheek, lifting her head and kissing her temple, then her cheek, then the corner of her lips and she could taste the salt all over her skin.

The two started moving again, Kylian putting on his disguise like before, hiding his face and walking back to Beth but her entire body froze as she made the turn. Beth was up, standing in front of the doctor, head low, her whispers echoing in the empty hallways, lily laying on the couch, cuddled with her knees, still sleeping. Taylor’s knees couldn’t hold her up, her hands couldn’t hold the coffee cups, she dropped them, dropped herself on the floor too. Kylian tried to keep her up, pulling her hand but he didn’t insist. He let her crumble and he had never heard her making these sounds, these broken sounds, a low scream, combined with sobs and mumbling. She held on the fabric of his shirt, making a fist with her hand as she trembled, so fragile, he thought. So fucking fragile.

How do you move on from such a loss? When the hand that has been holding you through everything, turns cold. Only thing she can remember from that night is moving between different embraces, the sound of cries, hers and Beth’s. The doctor’s eyes. No one tells you about that, how the doctor’s eyes get imprinted in your brain, stay in you thought every time you try to think about the one you lost. No one tells you that even when you’re in the funeral, ready to say goodbye you think about them as if they are alive, expecting them to call as soon as the reception is over. You save a seat for them in church because you were used to saving it for them your entire life. And your last conversation remains on repeat in your head, analyzing every last word, lingering on everything they said.

“Why do you stay? You’re not even happy there.” He told her, the night before the party, the night before he left.

“I’m content.” She lied, now she whished she hadn’t. Her father coughed, it was a rough cough, she should have known.

“You’re settling.”

She looked at him, thinking about his face now, she could see all the signs, the circles under his eyes, his torn lips, his weak color. She could have saved him perhaps, if she wasn’t lost in her thoughts. “Maybe I am. But at least I’m home. It’d be the same in Paris.”

“Paris scares you for all it’s possibilities.”

“Paris scares me for all it’s dangers.” She admitted, looking down at the blanket that she had hidden under, pulling one of the loose threads, scratching her nail against it. “Should have let go of football when god told me to.”

“Since when do you believe in God?” he asked, almost laughing. “had to drag you in church when you were a kid, you weren’t a fan of it when you were a teenager either—“

“People change.” She said, but she was smiling because she knew how stupid she must have sounded.

“Yeah they do. When they are looking for an excuse.” She looked up at him, her smile fading away. “you’re forcing yourself out, telling everyone it’s your decision while convincing yourself it’s your only decision.” He always had the most brutal truths under his tongue, she pulled harder on the thread “No one tells you to turn back to PSG, but you could have a career in this and you are not chasing it—” he coughed, his voice getting raspier “I’ll always blame myself for you missing your first chance—”

“Pa—”

“Now it’s your choice.” He moved closer to her, placed his hand on her heart “it could beat forever and it would never be enough unless it’s in the rhythm you want it to. Don’t let it die in silence.”

Silence. There was so much silence as she stared at his coffin, little lily holding her arm and leaning on it, a reminder of what she was left with to protect. He was gone now, and the only thing Lily had left of him was Taylor, that gave her a sense of responsibility. For the afternoon, lily and Beth went to stay with Beth’s mother, she told them that she could pass by there at night but she wanted to home first, change. In reality all she wanted to was to be alone, think about everything and sink in her sorrow, in hopes that she’d find the bottom at some point. She parked the car right outside of her house, paying little attention to her surroundings. She got out, playing with the keys in her hands when she noticed a familiar set of shoes, and she looked up, she held her keys tighter. She was happy to see him.

“Jude gave me your address.” She nodded. “I would have come to the funeral too but I didn’t—” she raised her hand to stop him.

“It’s best that you didn’t. last thing I needed was paparazzi trying to get a picture of you. There were already whispers about Bellingham being there, I can’ imagine what would happen if you showed up.” She said while walking closer to him. She noticed he was holding a paper bag in his hands and his eyes were soft, she tried to remember if she had seen them as soft in the past. She let out a breath, like she had reached sore after a long way out in the water. She let her body fall on his chest as he shielded her with his arms. “my eyes are dry.” She mumbled “didn’t think that was possible.” He rubbed her back and lowered her head to her ear.

“wanna go inside?”

“yeah.” She whispered and the moved away to get to the door. She unlocked it, stepping in the house, expecting to hear her father’s footsteps running down the stairs, lily screaming her name, Beth cooking in the kitchen. It was empty. No sounds, no movements, just ghost. She told Kylian to leave his coat on the hanger behind the door and walked in the kitchen, ignoring the chilling silence in the house.

“Coffee or tea?” she asked, keeping her mind occupied, as she left her bag on the kitchen counter and opened the cupboards. Kylian came in a moment later, examining the art on the walls, the decorations, toys all over the floor, lily’s he imagined. There was so much color, so much coziness that he felt like he was trespassing to a home he was never invited to.

“tea.” He said, still looking around the kitchen. He could almost imagine the whole family in this room, laughing, teasing each other, a little sad that he never got to experience it with them. His thoughts halted when he heard Taylor hissing and cursing, he looked at her. She was holding her thumb rubbing it and he imagined she had burned herself. He moved closer, coming up behind her while she rumbled about how much she hated this kettle and she always told her father he must buy a new one. Her words fell sort as soon as he embraced her, pulling her to his chest to comfort her and he could almost hear the tears coming. She grasped his arm, her nails almost digging on his skin and he lowered his head to her neck, his grip getting tighter as more sobs escaped her mouth. Weak sobs at first that turned to heartbreaking noises, similar to the ones she made at the hospital. She used her other hand to rub her face, turning around and finding solace in his hug. He picked her up slowly, walked with her to the couch.

“The tea” she whispered.

“I’ll get them.” He said as he sat her down on the pillows and used the spare blanket on the edge of the bed to cover her. He went back in the kitchen for a few minutes, returning with the cups and leave them on the coffee table before finding his seat next, she moved a little forward so he’d sit behind her. He threw his arm around her, bringing her closer to him and she got comfortable on his scent, feeling slightly lucky that he happened to be here, that she was able to feel his skin on hers. She closed her eyes and breathed out a sigh, sniffing in her sadness. He kissed the top of her head and let her cry, without saying anything. He reached for one of the cups and held it in front of her, helped her take a long sip. He was wondering if she had eaten anything in the last 24 hours, he doubted it. He let the cup back on table and brought her even closer, tucking the blanket so she her body wasn’t exposed to any coldness.

“just when I think I’m out of tears—” she wiped away some with her palm, her voice coming out rough. He drew circles on her arm under the blanket and lowered his head, so he could kiss her ear. “It feels like it’s never going to end.” She said, a sob breaking her sentence, her moved her closer to him.

“It will.” He whispered. “it’ll get better.” She gazed at the wall, her mind felt empty.

“It’s not about me I’m more worried about, you know.” She admitted. She moved a little, only so she’d be able to look at him. “it’s lily.” Kylian didn’t know what to say to that, there were no right words. “I met him, I lived him.” She smiled “he was my everything for a long time, what sucks is that she…” she paused, trying to breathe through the pain “she won’t know him.” More tears came rolling down, she shrugged her shoulders “she won’t know what it’s like to have him screaming your name on the bleachers, when he—” she sniffed “tries to be angry but fails—” she laughed at the memories. He watched her carefully, stroking her hair while she spoke “and you know Beth will do a great job but she should have… she should have gotten the chance to live a life with him the way I did.” He wiped the tears for her this time, she leaned on his touch, hyperventilating. “what if she forgets him?”

“that won’t happen. At the end of the day, she’s got you for the rest of her life to remind her of him. Right?” It was so confusing that he’d ever let this woman as close, it was an unfamiliar feeling that he couldn’t translate. How much he cared about holding her together, how he wanted to cuddle her until the storm passed, there was a warmth on his chest, a realization that was settling right over his heart about how he felt about that woman. “have you eaten anything?” he questioned and she shook her head. He went to get up but she pulled his sweater.

“please.” She mumbled and he stayed where he was, didn’t move at all, if that’s what she needed, that’s what he would give her. She turned her head so her nose would be pressed against his chest. And they stayed like that for a while, tangled with each other. He felt her calming, her breathing stabilizing, she’d hold his fingers, play mindlessly with them. An electricity washed over him when she brought his hand closer to her lips and kissed it, he closed his eyes, blocking out any dirty thoughts because it wasn’t the time. “where’d you get that?” she asked suddenly and he looked at his hand, she was rubbing her thumb over a long scar he had on the back of his hand. Kylian smiled but shook his head.

“Can’t remember.”

“Did you get a cat at campus?” she interrogated her finger now brushing over a scar on his arm, that he had forgotten was there. She tilted her head back, forcing herself to smile at him “or was it a lady?”

Kylian laughed, bending his head on hers “nah haven’t met one with nails as sharp as yours yet.” Taylor snorted, closing her eyes as she enjoyed the closeness. Maybe he could help her forget for one night.

“then it must be a cat.” She hummed “I only know one that hates you as much.” Kylian bit his lip, he didn’t want to tell her, as if he would be admitting to a crime. “you said you gave her away.”

He didn’t respond. He stared at her closed eyes, waiting for her to open them so he could look in her soul. He stroked her chin with his thumb. “I said I’d try.”

She smiled, leaning closer to him, their noses brushing against each other. “Is it that hard to find a cat a home these days?”

He dug his hands under her hair. “had to be sure they deserved her.”

She finally opened her eyes, the two of them looking one another like they were about to kiss for the first time. “why didn’t you tell me?”

“I felt like I was stealing her.”

She shook her head, looked down at the threads of his sweatshirt and started playing with one of them “you could never steal anything from me. Seems I keep on giving everything to you.” He lifted her chin with his index finger, so he could lock eyes with her again. She smiled “how is she?”

“I told you, she’s thriving.”

“Buying her the most expensive cat food, are you?”

“Taking her out for walks and all that shit.”

“Do your new girls like her?”

“They never stay around too long for them to find her.”

She scoffed, he noticed the spark in her eyes returning “does she hide under the bed?”

“You remember the high cupboards in the kitchen?”

She hummed

“She stays there all day.”

Taylor placed her hand on his chest “does she sleep here like she used to when you’d come in the apartment?”

He held her hand “some nights.”

“You didn’t have to keep her.”

“elle me fait penser à toi.” [she reminds me of you.] He confessed in a warm breath that hit her face, his gaze remaining focused on her eyes. For all his fear of making eye contact, he didn’t look away even for a second, neither did she. A smile creeped on her face, he wondered if he understood what he said, the familiar heat he used to feel around her returning. Sher leaned in, connecting her lips with his, a sort, emotional kiss, a taste, a slight brush. Then they pulled away, not too much, just enough so he’d look in her eyes.

“Tu m’as manqué aussi” she said in a low tone, balancing her head on his. He couldn’t hide his smile when he heard her speak his language, he wished his could, he wished his hands were tied behind his back as well, so he wouldn’t give in to his thoughts. He didn’t have time to do any of these things because she kissed him again, this time with more force, like she was trying to steal something from him.

“Taylor…” he mumbled in between her lips. She didn’t stop. She climbed on him, getting as close as she could and he had no strength or will to push her away, he wanted this as much as she did. But something in him screamed that it was wrong, that she was too broken and he was taking advantage of it. His hands slid down to her hips, trying to put some force, so she’d stop. She moved back only an inch. He held her face. “you’re too vulnerable”

“I know exactly what I’m getting myself into…” He closed his eyes, remembering of all the times they said this to each other. Of all the times they used it as an excuse. “promise” she added, leaving a peck on his lips “I need you ky.”

He leaned in, sucking on her lips, giving her what she asked for. “are you sure?”

She nodded quickly, leaving a sloppy kiss on his cheek. Her fingers crawled under his shirt, making their way round his biceps, remembering his shape, remembering him. He kissed her, the spot right under her chin, remembering the feeling of her skin on his lips and she locked herself on him for a moment before getting off him, slowly, dragging his hand with her, signaling him to get up.

He did. Their fingers interlocking. He pulled them up to his lips, leaving a trail of kisses as she walked with him to the stairs that led to the bedrooms. He followed, silent, calm and intrigued, she could lead him anywhere and he wouldn’t complain. The reached one of the closed doors. She stopped in front of it, turning to him, he trapped her between him and the door, kissing her again, realizing how much he actually missed her. She pushed down the handle of the door, un-trapping herself and stepping backwards at her room. Her space. There was something different about being in her family house, like he had only seen a version of her in the apartment she was renting in Paris, like she had only let him in halfway through until now. She kept walking until she reached her double bed, a curtain hanging from either side. They stood in front of it, as if they had never touched each other again, like it was the first time.

In a way it was. A chance to go back to the start, when their bodies burned under the same sheets. He made a step closer and she reached for his jumper. He stopped her, his hands covering hers. “no rush” he whispered and moved her hands away. He didn’t care about his own satisfaction, even though he knew he’d get it, he wanted to be sure that he’d get her as high as possible, tonight wasn’t for the both of them, it was for her. His fingertips, caressed her cheekbone, her eyes closed, she was enjoying it. He took his time, moving his finger around her face, until he reached her lips, where his thumb dragged her bottom li. It was dry, it was colorless, he wanted to change that. So he kissed her, she tried to fasten it, but he didn’t let her. He searched for the buttons of her black cotton dress, started unbuttoning it from the bottom-up while his lips gave life to hers. She wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him deeper, forcing the kiss to last longer. She pulled his jumper again, pulling it off him, over his shoulders and exposing his muscular arms. She let the clothing item drop on the floor and stepped on it as she got closer to him, he returned to her neck, his favorite place in her body, pleasing her any way he knew how. “jump” he whispered in her neck as he instantly picked her up on his arms and sat with her on the bed, kissing the exposed skin in between her dress. His lips in between her breast working like a drug in her mind. She’d let herself in his mercy for the night. He took of his shirt, uncovering himself and she got drunk simply by the sight. She leaned on him, clinging onto him while slid the dress off her shoulders and let it fall off. Still taking his time, choosing his kisses carefully, making sure every inch of her body was touched and shivering. He picked her up and maneuvered his body, so she’d be laying down and he’d be on top. He pushed her up on the bed, so her neck would be comfortable on the pillows and toyed with the thread of her bra, debating whether he should take it off yet or not.

He chose not to, instead left kisses all over body, from her collarbone to her breast, to her stomach, he knew the way like the back of his hand, like it was home. He heard her whimpering, eyeing her before continuing his trip by kissing her thighs, both of them. There was something different about the way he was holding her this time around. Like the time apart changed their little dance. And she couldn’t pin point the difference yet but she liked it. He came back up, pulling down his pants with his one hand, she helped.

And they continued touching and kissing, getting to know each other’s bodies again, until the could both feel it was time to get lost in each other. He could feel him in between her thighs, hesitant, looking in her eyes, asking for permission that she gave freely with a nod. He lowered his head to her neck and before entering her he whispered to her ear “Ma petite mort.” And then he slid on her, pushing a moan out of her lips that filled the room, echoed in the walls of her childhood bedroom that has changed over the years to mirror who she was as she’d grow up. It took her a while in the haze for her to translate his words—

“is that what love is to you?”

“I think it’s fair to say it weakens your consciousness. Has you dying and awakening repeatedly.”

“How did you say it?” she bit on her bottom lip.

“la petite mort”

Except he didn’t say La. He said Ma. Such small difference. Such heavy confession.

Her eyes opened as realization hit, while he was still inside her and hidden in her neck and her body felt so light in that moment, so fragile. And she wished she could confess the same to him, find a way to tell him she felt the same way. He lifted his head from her body, looked in her eyes, she pulled his head down so she could kiss him, let him taste the words she couldn’t tell out loud.

Next morning the sun creeped in through the curtains that they had let open during the night. He woke up with her body still laying on his, still asleep and as fragile as he remembered it. He checked the time and knew he had to leave soon, catch the flight back home—odd, if he was meant to go home, why did this feel like home as well? He gazed at her rosy cheekbones, how her face was squeezed on the pillow, her chest going and down as she’d let out a fragile breath, he gazed at her like she was a painting, meant for his eyes only. He kissed her nose and moved away, searching his clothes around the room, he put on his pants and his shirt. Picked up his jumper and left it on the bed for her. He leaned over to her, leaving another kiss on the eyebrow and she moved slightly, awakening from the hypnosis he had put her under.

“I have to go.” She reached for his arm, holding it gently. He kissed her, one last kiss. “we’ll talk.” He spoke in her lips. She nodded and let him distance himself. When opened the bedroom door, she sat up and put on the jumper he had left for her. She wanted to go behind him, tell him a proper goodbye, but she was terrified that if she did, she wouldn’t let him go at all. She slowly walked out of the bedroom, listening to him picking his stuff when suddenly she heard voices—“shit” she mumbled and ran downstairs.

Kylian was standing by the front step, laughing at something, talking to someone. She had to get to next to him to see her little sister talking. “lily, where’s Ma?”

“In the kitchen.” She said with her tiny voice. Kylian looked at taylor, a little embarrassed at the situation. Taylor didn’t really know what to say either. “What’s Mbappe doing here?” she asked. Taylor opened her mouth slightly, searching for the right words.

“I wanted to make sure your sister was ok.” He said quickly, then he kneeled to her height. “I’m a close friend” he explained.

“Lily!” Beth came in the living room, holding glass of orange juice. Taylor looked immediately at her, regretful of the circumstances “Oh—” she mouthed but held herself from saying anything else. “Sorry, I didn’t realize—” while the grown ups were occupied feeling awkward about everything, lily ha gone closer to Kylian, put her hand in his ear and whispered

“can we be friends too?”

Kylian smiled, the awkwardness melting away as he looked to the little girl’s eyes. He nodded “you can come to Paris with your sister one day.”

“I’m not as good in football. Mark talks about you all the time, he even has a notebook with your face on it.”

“Is mark your friend?”

She shook her head, hiding begin the doll she was holding. Taylor stepped closer. “we’ve got a little crush on mark you see.”

“Oh—” he laughed “do we? Well, what can I possibly help with that? You think he’d like it if you have him autograph of mine?”

She nodded, smiling. Taylor went and found a piece of paper quickly and a pen, giving both to Kylian. He signed even wrote a message for mark and gave it to lily. They took a picture together and he excused himself, said he had to go to the airport. Taylor showed him to the door, the two of them standing out of his car.

“Thanks for that.” She smiled.

“Uh don’t think about it. I know what it’s like crushing over a Wilock girl.”

“Technically she is the one crushing over him.” She corrected. Kylian pulled her closer y the long sleeves of his jumper.

“I’ve left a bag for you. In the kitchen. It’s some gifts by the boys.”

“They still think about me?”

“Some more than others.” He smirked.

“Did you tell them about…?”

“No. I thought best to tell them in person and I wasn’t sure if you wanted too either.”

“Thanks. Yeah, you can tell them when you get there. Tell them I’ll be ok.”

“I will, because I know you will.”

She stroked his cheekbone, grinned. “last night was nice.”

“Yeah” he licked his lips and chewed on his bottom one.

She kissed his cheek, her lips lingering on his cheek “fly safe.”

He kissed her back and got in his car, driving away.

For the rest of the day she had to answer calls and messages, condolences and everything that she had been ignoring. After the 10th call, she felt like she was she was a robot, reciting the same thing over and over again. People she hadn’t spoken to in years were calling, telling her how much they loved her father, some of it felt so fake to her, she wanted to yell at them.

She plummeted herself on one of the chairs in the kitchen table, shutting off her phone and throwing it on the table. “I don’t want to talk to any more of them.”

“Then don’t” said Beth, while she was mixing the soup. Taylor looked at her.

“What are you making?”

“Chicken soup.” She glanced at her “do you mind fixing the table? Dr. Rhodes we should try keeping a routine for Lily’s sake.”

“Yeah…” she nodded and got up. Then she noticed the bag on the middle of the table and sat back down “god I forgot about this.”

“What is it?”

Taylor untangled the bow and opened the bag “Kylian gave it to me, I don’t know.” She put her hand, searching for the random items and took out a dozen pictures. “Bloody hell…” she looked at them, her heart melting at the memories. They were pictures of her and the boys. Pictures of when they won against AL NSSR, or when they had a water fight on campus. She sensed the heat of a tear under her eye. A picture of her and Neymar, looking like dorks. A picture of her in her blue Dior dress, next to Ramos. She let out a laugh. Beth turned to her, letting down spoon she was trying the soup with and went closer.

“Are these from Paris?”

“Yeah.” She said. She looked back in the bag, found a napkin, she picked out and realized—“I’m gonna kill him.” She whimpered, she didn’t mean it of course, all she wanted to do was kiss him. She read the names on the napkin, remembered writing them herself, the first night that she went out with the whole team. The jokes the shared, Neymar being a little too flirty. Kylian staring at her, a gaze that at that point she couldn’t decipher but now she longed for every time she closed her eyes.

“You look happy.” Said Beth, taking her out of her thoughts. She turned her attention to her, confused. Beth dragged back one of the chairs and sat down next to taylor. “Love the dress” she said as she picked out the picture with her and Ramos. Taylor forced a smile and looked back on the bag, there was as shirt in the bottom, she took out, it was with the psg colors, her name on the back, number 16 under it. She was bawling, but these tears tasted differently. “Aw sweetie.” Beth moved her chair closer to taylor and cuddled her like any mother would. She rubbed her head.

“The night before he left, he told me I should go back and I told him I couldn’t because I had him here and I couldn’t leave him—” she could hardly breathe “and now he’s gone and I got you and lily, I can’t leave you either—”

“Hun, listen to me—” Beth pulled away, forcing taylor to look at her, cradling her face “you are not gonna stay here for us.” Even she was crying now “Lily doesn’t need you to stay. She needs you to show her what life can be. She needs to see her older succeed in all the ways that you have. You know how proud I am that she’s got you to look up to?”

“Why do I always have to let go of something in order to get something else? It’s not fair—”

“Oh love…” Beth stroked her hair, her expression filled with compassion and love “unfortunately life is that way sometimes. And possibly this won’t be the last time you’ve got to make a choice like this but as your father would tell you—whatever will be, will be.” Taylor rubbed her nose; she was a mess. “As long as we are terrifying of wanting, that’s when life gets us down. Losing Charlie, it will haunt me forever, but he always cheered for us to get what we wanted, didn’t he? He was such a believer in knowing what you want, with no fear or embarrassment. Always sad that you were so scared of admitting to your own wants.” She smiled, kissing her temple “go to Paris. Be with him, be with the team, whatever you want and that’s when you’ll find balance.”

Taylor nodded and fell in her arms, in the back of her mind, thinking it was her father, that was holding her. She sank in the thought.

When everyone went to bed, she stayed in the living room, she had the lights low, the fireplace open. She was looking at the pictures, her t-shirt laid on the couch, while her computer stayed open on the table, on a booking website for airplane tickets. It was a simple and she’d go back, not necessarily to stay but to get a taste, she if she wanted or even if she could stay. She let down the pictures, leaned forward on the computer and clicked it.

No one said it was easy, no one ever said it would be this hard.

IM SORRY I PROMISE I NEVER MEANT FOR THIS STORY TO HE SO SAD ITS THE CHARACTERS 😭😭😭😭😭 god this one was a hard to write but i do hope you liked it!!! As Always your comments are welcomed and needed, especially now that we are so close to the end. The plan is for only two more chapters but it all depends to how long ch14 will be. What do you guys think now that it's ending? What has been your favorite moment and what do you think will happen? Will these two finally be happy in the city of stars 👀✨ keep an eye out for all the hints. Ending has already been revealed. Love you all so so much!!!

[youcouldmakealife]

LBTE: Jared (142-144)

Holden Chase, head trauma, and unintended consequences.

If you're reading along, the series page is here.

142. Ellipsis

You know, seems kind of sadistic to give this title to a chapter that ends the way it did. Not an apology, just an acknowledgment.

He went to the Hockey Hall of Fame in his rookie year, refused to touch the Cup, just in case. Dumb superstition, but more than that, if he touches it, he wants it to be because he earned it, not because he paid twenty bucks at the entrance. He went to the Empire State Building with some of the Oilers once, and Julius wore a supremely bored expression all day, all ‘New York is beneath me’.

Even Jared has gone to the Empire State Building more times than David Chapman, resident of New York for years, confirmed.

Minnesota’s fucking cold, and he’s saying this as an Albertan.

Went to Minnesota on TOTI research trip (my brother worked for a Minnesota based company at the time and he got a tag-a-long to a work thing that he in no way, shape, or form requested). Anyway, can confirm: was fucking cold.

Jared gets started on his packing as well. Just the socks and underwear, since he’s sure Bryce has ideas about what he’s going to wear, and will be all appalled that Jared packed like, a red sweater when obviously it’s green sweater season, Jared, how did you not realise that it was green sweater season, don’t you pay attention at all to the sweater seasons?

*

Bryce is grey sweatered and borderline hyperactive in his cheerfulness on the flight out.

Foolish Jared, it’s clearly grey sweater season.

Jared imagines money’s been bet, but what he doesn’t know can’t hurt him. Or like, stress him out. Bryce happily co-existing with their teammates is worth him losing some money at cards once in awhile. Or like, often. He’s really not very good, from what Jared’s gathered, so obviously everyone is happy to have him join in. But Bryce doesn’t mind, so Jared doesn’t mind. Much. They play for stakes the call-ups and ELC guys can afford, so it’s not exactly going to bankrupt them, no matter how many games Bryce loses.

Bryce is enthusiastic and terrible, which makes him the ideal person to play cards against, even before you get into the fact he makes more than most of his teammates make less money than he does and therefore the stakes seem low to him. That’s a Stevie rule — nobody’s betting more than the player paid the least on the team can stomach. This is a way to pass time on the plane, not a gambling ring.

Ashley is pregnant. Like, Jared knew this, obviously he knew this, they were told right before they left — weeks after Raf and Grace found out, and he is not upset about this — but there’s a difference between knowing and seeing. She’s not like, about to give birth or anything, but they definitely would have noticed if they hadn’t been told in advance. Probably. Maybe.

Bryce would have noticed, at least.

Jared a) is obviously extremely upset about this and b) would absolutely not have noticed, but he’s right that Bryce would have.

Jared mortifies himself in front of David Chapman, which is great. Totally fine. Absolutely not something that will haunt him for the rest of his life, and may actually lead to a premature death due to intense shame.

“You’re exaggerating,” Raf says over breakfast the next morning. “He didn’t even notice.”

Two things can be true. Jared DID mortify himself in front of David. And David did not notice.

“No offence?” Raf says. “But David’s kind of — not oblivious, exactly? Well, kind of. Trust me, he didn’t notice. I can almost guarantee he’s already forgotten your name, let alone anything you said to him.”

Accurate summary except where Raf said ‘not oblivious, exactly’, because he IS oblivious, exactly. At least in this particular matter.

“I mean you were flirting with another dude in front of him all night,” Raf says. “So I don’t really blame him.”

So apparently Bryce was not the only one who got the impression that Jared was flirting with David. Great. Terrific. Wonderful.

“I didn’t mean to,” Jared moans. “It wasn’t flirting, it was like — word vomit.”

Jared thinks someone is pretty, Jared loses control of his mouth. Well. Remaining control.

“Maybe don’t call David out of your league when you’re explaining why it wasn’t meaningful flirtation?” Raf says.

“That’s great advice,” Jared says. It truly is. “Except I already did that.”

Raf shrugs. “Would have told you not to flirt with David but—“

Jared thunks his head back on the table.

Raf has endured so much.

He found this one pretty funny though, to be honest. Like, mortifying to witness at the time, but over breakfast the next morning? Hilarious.

Bryce is no longer mad at him by the time they get to Buffalo. Or maybe he is, but not mad enough not to sneak into Jared’s room for a gameday nap, and Jared’s too relieved to remind Bryce about his ironclad ‘no sleeping together on the road, yes that means naps too’ rule. Which is apparently less ironclad and more ‘unless I fucked up and hurt your feelings in which case do whatever you want’.

Annnnd the ironclad rule has been broken.

then Hartford’s a quick, surprisingly easy win, one that’ll probably lead to a dozen Moby-Dick references in game-write ups from beat writers who think they’re clever.

Cue William Dineen pointing out that orcas are dolphins, actually.

There’s also a difference between quietly missing his family a bit and the loud ‘thank fuck we’re almost home’ that’s going on with a lot of his teammates right now, Dmitry the loudest among them. Everybody’s glad to be going home. Nobody needs to say it repeatedly at increasing volume.

“He’s got kids,” Bryce says.

“Okay?” Jared says.

“He’s got kids,” Bryce says, like Jared didn’t hear him the first time.

Dmitry hasn’t seen his children in several weeks. He missed them very very much.

Dmitry says something loudly about missing his kids. Bryce nods earnestly like this isn’t the tenth time he’s heard it. Today.

Very very much.

“They are getting so big and I am missing it all!” Dmitry groans. “All of the moments, Bullet! I have abandoned them!”

Bryce makes wordless soothing noises as Dmitry puts his face in his hands.

Very VERY much.

“Okay, he’s a little dramatic,” Gabe says, and Jared grins.

Also yes this.

Not seeing something coming is the biggest cliché. In general, but specifically in hockey.

I acknowledge, I do not apologise.

He doesn’t see it coming. Puck on his stick, back to the play. He does a shoulder check, and he’s clear, the Bruins defender on him peeling away, presumably for a change, and the puck’s off his tape, pass executed, on its way to Dmitry, and then there’s nothing at all.

So just to be clear: that pass was executed far enough before the hit that Jared was not eligible for contact anymore. It was a late hit. It would have been boarding even if it wasn’t, but it was late as well.

143. Washed Clean

“Okay, that’s okay, you’re fine,” he hears. It’s Gabe, he thinks, but he doesn’t open his eyes again to check. “You’re fine, okay Jared?”

“I’m fine,” Jared mumbles.

“You’re perfectly fine,” Gabe says back.

Gabe holds it together admirably until he gets home because he feels that’s what’s needed of him, but man is he freaking the fuck out right now.

“I want you to stay still for me,” Graham says. Jared assumes he’s saying it to him and not Gabe.

“Don’t move my head,” Jared says.

“Exactly,” Graham says. “Can you move your extremities?”

“You just told me to stay still,” Jared says. “Which one is it.”

The RELIEF Gabe feels at Jared being snippy.

“You’re okay?” he says from a careful distance, like if he breaches it he’ll break.

Bryce is 100% sure that if he gets within five feet of Jared right now he will not be in control of his own actions. He’s thisclose to not caring.

Getting out of there’s a mess. It’s the same as usual, honestly, doesn’t take any longer, or have any more logistical snarls, but whatever remained of Jared’s energy ran out before they even left TD Garden, and his head hurts too much to look at his phone, do anything but keep telling himself the painkillers haven’t kicked in, that he just has to wait, even though it’s well past time they would have started working. He feels like he’s going to cry every time he blinks. He hurts.

I can think of worse places to have a brutal headache than a hockey arena, but not many. Fluorescents, strong smells, so many people coming and going, people calling out, yelling — total nightmare.

Jared is on the verge of tears for a good hour or so, here.

“Back of the plane will be quieter,” Gabe says. “Let me check with Munch.”

Munch apparently gives them the last row without argument, which has Jared wondering just how bad that hit looked, because he’s as much a superstitious creature of habit as anyone Jared’s ever met, and no way would he cede his usual seat without good cause.

Munch is indeed extraordinarily superstitious, but Jared is as white as a sheet, and Munch doesn’t want to be haunted by ghost Jared. Also he has empathy. But mostly it’s the not wanting to be haunted.

He breathes small, shallow breaths, fighting the urge to grab Gabe’s hand and squeeze until someone else knows exactly how bad he feels. That’s unkind. Also his skin hurts, so it’d probably hurt him even more than it’d hurt Gabe.

Unkind may not stop Jared, but self-defeating will.

“How’s your head?” Bryce says, carefully quiet.

“Hurts,” Jared says. “My heart beats too much.”

Bryce looks extremely alarmed.

‘heart beats too much’ sounds like an alarming development without context, yes.

Bryce leans into him, nose nudging his hair.

“You scared the shit out of me, babe,” Bryce murmurs against his temple, barely louder than Jared’s own heart.

“Sorry,” Jared mumbles, and he feels the flutter of Bryce’s lashes when he shuts his eyes, forehead cool against Jared’s skin like maybe Jared’s running a fever.

Jared flinches at the sound of a toilet flushing, louder than it should be, but doesn’t put it together, cause and effect, until Stevie says, “Whoa, wifeys are going to be jealous.”

This is a real fucking soft moment for Stevie to blunder into. Also he’s usually better at this, but, you know: he’s a bit wired right now. Red Bulls. Finally getting to go home after literal weeks. Etc.

He doesn’t sound like his heart’s in it anymore, but Jared appreciates the attempt to keep it chill. Not chill enough, though: Jared can feel Bryce, a line of tight tension beside him, the space he put between them almost a presence in itself. And Jared knew Bryce telling Dmitry didn’t necessarily mean — he knew that. He shouldn’t be surprised.

He’s quietly so disappointed here. Easy to miss, since Bryce comes out in the same scene, but.

“Nothing to be jealous of,” Bryce says, and Jared’s half-expecting a ‘no homo’ moment, is just — tired — except Bryce says, “Considering we’re married to each other, so.”

So disappointed, and then Bryce keeps talking.

“Sorry,” Stevie whispers. “But — really?”

“Really,” Gabe says. He’s a few rows ahead, so if he overheard their conversation he’s not the only one. Jared doesn’t have the brain power to think about that right now. “Give them some space, Stevedore.”

Stevedore (dockworker) is such a good fucking nickname for a marine themed team. Only team it’d be better for is the Whalers.

Also such a Gabe nickname. Deep cuts from Gabriel Markson. Tate Williams would appreciate him.

“You didn’t have to do that,” Jared says.

“Yes I did,” Bryce says, and finds Jared’s hand, lacing their fingers together.

He really did. Standing at a distance from Jared when he was in pain, even though nothing was technically stopping Bryce from reaching out, getting updates from Gabe even though he was right there — once he sat down next to Jared he wasn’t getting up again. And once he was close enough to touch Jared nobody was hiding shit.

Jared is pretty sure that’s impossible, but he manages eventually, and not just a cat nap, because he wakes up to the change of air pressure, fingers still laced loosely with Bryce’s, who’s on his phone, typing awkwardly with his left hand.

Every time Bryce makes a decision he pretty much ensures it’s irrevocable. Okay: I’m out. Not letting go of my husband’s hand for the next few hours, anyone using the back bathroom can mind their own fucking business.

“I let everyone know you weren’t doing screentime,” Bryce says. “Your mom says to call them when you feel up to it. Her and your dad are super freaked out. And my mom. She sent me like, fifty texts while you were sleeping. Sorry, I’m talking too much. I was really — I’m talking too much. I’m sorry.”

He knows Jared has a headache so he’ll be quiet now, don’t worry.

(He was so fucking scared.)

“Yeah,” Bryce says, letting go of his hand to dig up a travel bottle. Jared’s fingers feel cold. He wonders if Bryce let go once when he was sleeping, or if he spent the entire trip with their fingers laced, texting Jared’s parents, Elaine, the group chat, awkwardly one-handed the whole time.

Second one.

Julius’ texts go from mildly concerned, to irritated Jared’s not answering, to moderately concerned, to angry Jared’s not answering, and then land on severely concerned. Jared wonders if they should wait to see if he hits infuriated that Jared’s not answering, or if he’s just going to stay in severely concerned until he gets a text back.

“Send him a thumbs up emoji and nothing else,” Jared says. “I wanna see how he responds.”

“I’m not doing that,” Bryce says, sounding utterly horrified, and Jared smiles.

Possibly the meanest thing Jared ever does to Julius, and he stole his blanket and introduced him to his evil sister. (Or, it would have been if Bryce had obliged. Which he was absolutely not going to do)

Jared doesn’t know if that’s something management already told them, but he doesn’t think so, because they’ve treated Jared the same since he got to Vancouver. He likes his coaches. Really hopes that isn’t about to change, go sour the way Jared’s relationship with Oilers management did.

Jared doesn’t mention coach reaction at length, focused more on team, but coaching staff continue to treat him exactly the same, minus a few awkward shoulder punches.

“I’m gonna drive you guys home,” Gabe says.

Bryce frowns. “I can—“

“No offence?” Gabe says. “You do not look good to drive right now, Bryce.”

Bryce 100% looks worse than Jared at this point.

They should buy him like, a fruit basket or something. Jared doesn’t really know what’s appropriate for ‘hey thanks for looking out for me after I got steamrolled and probably handling the guys so they didn’t come swarming us with questions’. Elaine will probably know. She’s good at those sort of things.

Elaine suggests a gift basket featuring chocolate.

“I don’t even know,” Bryce says. “Think there was a 7 on his jersey? It was a board battle, I don’t think it was on purpose.”

James, and no, it was not on purpose.

“You get him?” Jared asks, letting his eyes drift shut.

“Dima did,” Bryce says. “He said if I did I wouldn’t know how to stop.”

100% for the best, Bryce was not in his right mind; it wouldn’t have been a hockey fight, it would have been assault.

“Okay,” Jared says. “You don’t — you can touch me, you know. I’m not going to break.”

“Okay,” Bryce murmurs, fingers still slowly carding through Jared’s hair, and Jared can feel Bryce’s lips brush his forehead, so light that he knows Bryce doesn’t believe him.

Oh my darlings.

144. Unvarnished

“Have you just been sitting in the car the whole time?” Jared asks. He texted Bryce to meet at the car, but apparently he didn’t need to bother, since Bryce is exactly where Jared left him. He could have just arrived, but Jared has suspicions.

Bryce looks shifty. “I didn’t want to go far in case you needed me,” he says.

Jared is unsure what situation would involve Bryce being needed — certainly not a medical emergency, since Jared was being evaluated by medical professionals — but he holds his tongue for once, which is good, because Bryce is a very, very fragile man at the moment.

He doesn’t notice at first, on the phone with his mom, who sounds weirdly un-mom like, all soft,

The people who love him all had a really bad day yesterday. Jared accepts this in the case of Bryce, you’d think he’d acknowledge his own mom might be shaken.

Bryce looks simultaneously sheepish, apologetic, and completely unrepentant all at once. Jared’s kind of impressed. It takes skill to look like you’re very, very sorry, but also get fucking used to it.

‘I’m sorry and I will not stop’

Bryce clears the Gatorade and cheese and crackers to make room for himself. Jared would ask what he’s supposed to do if he wants one of those, but that’d probably get Bryce springing up and apologising for daring to take the space of any food or beverage that Jared may need in the future. He probably shouldn’t tease Bryce — he doesn’t look like sarcasm’s going to go over well at the moment. Jared’s not the only fragile one right now. Hell, Jared may be the less fragile one right now.

Jared has no idea.

Jared holds an arm out, and sighs when Bryce looks at it almost suspiciously.

“I’m lonely,” Jared says. It comes out over-the-top, but whatever, it gets Bryce tucking himself against Jared, albeit very carefully.

Bryce knows he’s being managed, but also, Jared said he was lonely.

after Jared hands him his phone, he reads Jared one from Stephen, saying he’s glad he’s doing okay and to let him or Gabe know if they need anything, one from Gabe saying basically the same thing, and one from Dima that’s a bunch of emojis Jared can’t really make sense of: whale, thumbs up, men holding hands, heart, prayer hands — or pleading, Jared’s never sure which it’s supposed to be — hockey stick, net.

Dima: 🐳👍👬❤️️🙏

Jared: 👍

“I guess we’ll see,” is all he says. If they disappoint Bryce he’ll — he doesn’t even know what he’ll do. They better not.

Man’s already offered to set the Saddledome on fire for Bryce, you think he’ll leave Rogers Arena intact just because they play in it?

“You see my fight?” Dmitry asks. “Kicked his ass for you.”

“Bryce isn’t letting me do screens,” Jared says.

Dmitry wheels on Bryce. “He needs to see my fight!”

Dmitry thinks Bryce’s priorities suck.

“Bryce is having a very intense conversation with Grayson about whether plus-minus should be abolished as a performance metric,” Gabe says. “So he’s fine.”

Bryce is pro abolishment. Because there are better ways to track a player’s defensive stats and what’s meant to be an individual performance metric is fundamentally a team one, and that’s bullshit. Grayson doesn’t even care that much, but now he’s stuck defending it to Bryce and his wildly gesticulating hands.

“Okay this is not me being homophobic, first off,” someone says in the hall outside the bathroom. “Seriously, I’m not that guy. Totally happy for them, love is love or whatever.”

Jared freezes, because starting a statement with a homophobia disclaimer is pretty much a guarantee something extremely homophobic is about to follow. He sees Gabe doing the same out of the corner of his eye.

“But like, Bullet’s married to Math?” the guy says. “Bullet’s like, friendly happy go lucky dude and Math’s like — Math’s kind of mean.”

This is objectively the funniest conversation Jared could ever overhear. And after his death glares/60, this season, it is so very deserved.

“Stephen’s mean,” Jared hisses at him. “And old! Mean and old. That’s who you picked. A mean, old person.”

Hmm, good work proving you’re not mean, Jared. (Stephen is two days older than Gabe.)

Everyone’s over-the-top friendly, asking him how his head is, telling him they’re glad he’s feeling better, saying congrats for their marriage like it just happened, while Jared mumbles ‘thanks’ until it stops sounding like a word to him.

People are showing care and concern for Jared and he does not like it.

Jared waits by the car after a very weird practice. Bryce is back on the plus-minus subject with Grayson, and he looked so happy that Jared didn’t want to drag him away from it.

‘Please’, says Grayson. ‘I don’t even care anymore., I just want to go home’

“Yes!” Jared says. “They keep asking me how my head is and telling me how glad they are I’m feeling better. Like, everyone keeps coming up to me and saying that like they’ve got a script or something.”

Those fuckers.

“They’re just acting like it’s all like—“ Jared says.

“Like it’s all what?” Gabe asks.

“Fine,” Jared says. “They’re acting like it’s all fine and normal.”

And here’s the rub. Nobody’s treating him any differently, and for all he said they wouldn’t, he didn’t actually expect that.

“You know I’m out to the team, right?” Gabe says. “And have been for awhile? You guys aren’t exactly the first queer teammates they’ve shared a room with. The guys who need time to adjust have already had that time.”

“Yeah but it’s like,” Jared says. “I don’t know. Different this time.”

I mean, it is different, in that it’s two teammates and also Bryce is a veritable super star, but also Jared: stop talking.

“I don’t know,” Jared says, frustrated by the pinched look Gabe’s giving him. “A bigger deal? It’s like. I don’t know. You wouldn’t get it.”

Baby gay exceptionalism.

“Isn’t it so nice to have lunch with these trailblazers, Gabe?” Stephen asks. “Laying the groundwork for future generations. I hope we can be like them someday. No, that’s asking for too much. I only hope that we can understand them one day, even just a little.”

Stephen came out around the age Jared is now. That was years and years ago, because, as Jared mentioned, he is mean and old.

“I’m not hopeless,” Gabe says. “Can’t be hopeless when I have you.”

“Ew,” Stephen says flatly. “You know how I feel about schmaltz, Gabriel.”

“I’m a little hopeless sometimes,” Gabe sighs.

Still madly, hopelessly in love.

“It’s absolutely adorable that you think there is any scenario in which I’d let this go,” Stephen says, tossing his hair.

“Steve,” Gabe says.

“Yeah, yeah,” Stephen says. “‘If you keep tossing your hair it’ll lose its dramatic effect’, I know.”

One of my favourite lines in the entire universe. It was a privilege and also a delight to revisit Stephen Petersen when he isn’t deep in fight-or-flight.

He swears Gabe’s eyes twinkle. He thought that was just a thing from books.

“You’re not as nice as you pretend to be,” Jared says, stomping away.

Stephen Petersen is his soulmate, what did you expect.

“Mathematics!” Dmitry says, arms out.

“Quit hugging me it’s been forever since I got hurt!” Jared says, veering around him, and stomps the rest of the way to his stall.

It has been two days.

“What?” Jared snaps, and gets a dozen ‘don’t look at me’ raised hands. “What?”

“He is kind of mean, though,” Langley says, then, “You’re just proving my point, Math!” when Jared throws a glove at him.

This room is a little terrified of him. It’s great.

[leeyanyanyaaan]

imposter!sagau but the imposter is your sibling au

26/03/2023

imagine | sagau | imposter au | siblings au

alright now that i've fallen into the sagau rabbit hole behold the results...

imagine sagau but the "imposter" that got isekai'ed was your younger sibling (especially as siblings who often get comments about visual similarities)

if i had the plot and motivation to write a series about this, i would definitely write in both the pov of younger and older sibling so that readers can choose which sibling to read as :)

in my pov so that uh we don't have to experience truck-kun's wrath </3 let's say that another way to get isekai'ed is by saying a particular set of words

it's not an absolute phrase set in stone, but rather if someone says a wish or desire in a definite tone.

for example: younger sibling said to their older sibling in an argument that "i wish you were never my sibling"

and thus causes their isekai :)

now this is where things can really start to play around, but let's say that younger sibling is only a casual player of genshin, or rather, they don't really know or play much of the game in comparison to their older sibling, who plays genshin as if it's their lifeline knowing absolutely everything from lore to builds to rituals. older sibling may also be a fanfic reader writer and is aware of the self aware au.

ahaha... good luck younger sibling

younger sibling wakes up in a completely different land they're used to, dressed in rpg looking clothes, and next to a glowing stone statue next to them.

younger sibling thinks this is one detailed dream and appreciates the scenery... until they hear hostile voices approaching

"there they are, that's the imposter that's appeared! seize them!"

start running

meanwhile back in the real world, older sibling wakes up and wants to check up on younger sibling after their fight the night before, but things seem to be off...

their belongings and/or room are now nonexistent. when asking your parents of their whereabouts they only give you incredulous looks not knowing who you're asking of as if they never existed.

"maybe we should book an appointment with your therapist. i fear you're starting to see and hear things..."

adamant to prove your younger sibling's existence, now concerned about all the anomalies happening, you start digging for whatever evidence you can find. specifically, photographic.

but any photographic evidence you had including them has been altered, your sibling now out of the picture... except for in a very specific video game screenshots, where you played genshin impact with them in co-op.

your heart sinks.

immediately you turn on whatever platform you used to play and log into the game. but even in the starting screen you could already sense and see and hear how unusual everything was, how everything was all glitchy and darker.

you're silently hoping it isn't what you think it is...

and then you log in.

teyvat is no longer what you remembered seeing the night before. you hear chaos and discord and ongoing battle music. the skies are stormier and red, the winds howled violently, the earth now uneven with cracks. what is going on? who in teyvat concurred the archons' wrath?

descending upon liyue, regardless of whatever nation you last left from, you are met with not your usual party of four, but rather the traveller you play as, standing in front of none other than the four currently revealed archons who are all on one knee kneeling before you.

as you approach them, the electro and geo archons brighten up, almost eerily, at the sight of traveller, while the anemo and dendro archons stayed more reserved, keeping their heads bowed down.

there's never been an event scripted like this...

"Your Holiness!" ...they've never addressed traveller like this "What an honour it is to be blessed by your presence at last!" oh no... "We must also thank Traveller for bringing their grace to us safely as the Chosen Vessel."

"You're just in time, Dearest Creator, for we have just caught an imposter. Now you may witness their beheading!"

you gasped and put a hand to your mouth, fighting back sobs as you witness your fears come to life.

and of course, they noticed.

"Oh Your Grace... there's no need to cry. Don't worry, this will all be over soon."

no it won't. this nightmare is far from over.

like in the electro archon's quest, your screen became glitchy and red as you are no longer able to control traveller's actions. no matter what keys you pressed and clicked, you could only keep walking towards the yuehai pavilion. though you could see glimpses of sadness on the traveller's face.

and then your troubled heart finally tips over the edge

at the sight of your younger sibling about to be behead.

what will you do now, C̵̗͈̻̺̹̬͔̼̏͗̾̅̃̀̃͗̀͑͊̕͠͝͝ͅŗ̸̭̱̜̮̫̤̳̂̆̈́̆̈͆͒͊̾͜͝ͅę̷͆̽̈́̑̎̀̑a̷̫̟͍̫̫͓͎͍͆́̀̍̈̚͝ṫ̵̡̛̤̯̯͕̾̾̊̈̎̍̄̏̓͌̊͜͠ͅô̸̮̝̌r̴̺̩͚̹̼̜͐͌̽́̅̓͘Y̸̛͉͒͐̐͛̈́́̓̈̕͝͝ö̴̤̺͇́͊͐́̑̅̅́̿͝͝͠ư̷̦̪̗̖̗͈̰̝͂͐̆̐̀̒̍̄̾̑͊̀̄͝r̴̤̰̒͌͌͐͛̅̈͝͝ͅḢ̸̩̰̫͕͍̎̋͑͐̑́͐̀͂͌̕͝ỏ̴͕͉̽̌l̵̛̠̲̣͚̩͑̐̈́̔̈́̍͜i̵̡̛͓̓͒͐͆̈́̌͆̔͛n̶̛̜̗͇͉͙̦͊͛̿̑̇͂͗̏͜͝ę̷̬̯͙̘̼̱̲͆͝ş̴̝͓̹̰̜͕̮̜̩̯̻̯͎͔̇s̶̢̞̥͈̭̔̽̍̈́̎̇̌̐͊͛̓̿̕Ŗ̵͈̼̬͈̘̀͒̅̄͑̇̄̿͑ę̸̛̠̮̬̝̰͙͖̝͖͉͔̺̼͑͌̓͊̄̏̌͊̄̃͝͝ͅả̶̧͔̳̺͎̬̋̍́͐d̷͖̣̤̻̭̱̫̻̦̘̘̎́͌͋͊͒̈́͜͜e̸̳̤̩͓̫̱͇̣̓́͐̔́̕r̸̢̡͚̪̪̞͍̝̱͕̗̫̜͚̀̏ͅO̶͎̗͙̞̳̻͈͉̔̐͂͛̔̏l̵̼̤͓̉̋̀̇͆̍̂͗̍̔̀͝͝d̴͇̗̭͇̾͑̈́͘e̶̛̛̥͇̳͈͍̱̦̗̜̰̅̐͗̋̔̌̓̀̅̈̚͝ṟ̶̱͍̭̕ͅS̸̢̥̱̣͓͊̒͆i̴̡̧͈̟̻̼̯̩̘̣̓b̸̡̘͙̠̯̙̖͇̙̲͖̪̍͒͝l̸̛̠̣͐̊̆̍̀̿̑̓̾̂͠i̸̡̨̤̭̫͕̣̯̦̼͙̊̅̏̇̈̊̊̇̚͝͝n̷̢̛͔̞͈̳̤̱̱̉̔̎̄̇͌̅̈́̌̈́̑͌̚̚ͅg̵͈̟̻̦͚̼̳͖͑̎?

...

i did NOT mean for this post to be this long, it was only supposed to be a snippet of an imagine omg XD and i even had extra ideas that i couldn't fit in like older sibling making a sagau side acc ask the community and find ways to isekai into genshin, ei empathizing with the siblings, and older sibling showing their wrath to genshin (because i would absolutely wreck havoc in hell should anything happen to my younger siblings) D": oh well oh well maybe another time~ regardless, i hope you enjoyed!

[scribe-of-stories]

Get to Know Your Moots Writeblr Interview

Was poked by the wonderful co-writers of Sunset @sunset-a-story and @touloserlautrec. Go read their posts here and here!

On the Tumblr Writing Community

How long have you had your writing Tumblr/Writeblr? A short eternity (first post is mid 2022)

What led you to create it? Was very bored at work and wanted to share some recent stories. Also I had never tried social media before, it this looked like the most interesting place to try it.

What’s your favorite thing about the Writeblr community? Getting to see other people's imagination unfiltered. I've read plenty of great works before, but it was definitely an entertaining first to see the author later publicly say "this is my favorite little guy, can't wait till the next time he suffers."

What’s one thing you’d like your mutuals to know about you? I constantly feel like I'm bothering people and or feel self conscious when talking about me/my stuff, so bare with me hah.

Is there anything you’d like to see more of on your dash? Just some really unhinged stuff about y'alls stories. I want to open my phone and see someone discussing the seven major heresies dictated by some cabal of priests only to later realize "oh, this is someone's fever dream, not a history lesson".

What tips/advice do you have for someone who made a Writeblr today? Interact more, take up the offer of "open tags" on other people's posts. Also throw your ideas onto the table for other's to look at, we all seem to love just watching someone go off about something they love.

WIP it Good

Which Works-in-Progress (WIPs) or writing projects are you noodling about, lately? Been in a bit of a writing drought. Lexical is always getting worked on, more so the TTRPG stuff than any story right now though. I've had a few projects pop into my mind and leave over the past while. Have a cluster of characters I can't get out of my head, but no narrative or setting to properly put them into. A god of violence and the man that cut her out of himself, a cultish vampire philosopher and his favorite little guy (little guy has a knife). Surely something will come of this, or they'll continue to just exist in one-off stories in my own head. Amber Hill, specifically The Lawman, is still somewhere in here but it's been struggling to come out for a while. Been trying to find Lars' voice as a POV character.

How long have you been working on them? I've been working on something based in Lexical since mid 2022 (huh, exactly around I first posted here); the other guys are new and only a few months old at most.

Do you remember what inspired them/what got you started? Lexical is a can of worms. The short answer is that my irl DnD group wanted to play something more free form and creative leaning than what our 5e campaign was allowing, so I said fuck it and started homebrewing a system based in a world I have vague ideas about. The long answer is that Lexical is a sequel to a Pathfinder campaign titled "Demis", which was about fantasy super heroes. It was heavily inspired by My Hero, Worm, and inescapably Homestuck. So when it came time to make a whole new system for these same players I took some concepts that worked in Demis, applied some occult-adjacent philosophy I was/am into, and ended up with my years long passion project. Atem and Sadaf were born out of my growing need to explore violence as a concept, philosophy, and inescapable existential crisis. The Vampire and his thrall Ish spawned out of a desire to have a toxic romance to think about. And AmberHill was inspired by a desire to create something cozy and occulty. Ended up being SCP adjacent but maintained the idea of a small community that cares about itself.

How much time, in your best estimation, do you spend thinking about them? Lexical- not enough, I'm lucky I have at least some productive thoughts throughout the day. Atem- too much, his tired ass sat down in my head and I've been too polite to ask him to leave.

When someone asks the dreaded, “What do you write about,” question, what do you usually say? "Urban Fantasy with science fiction elements"

What do you want to say (if it’s different from what you do say)? "My dissertation on the semi-real building blocks of both physical and social reality, also wizards punching people."

Let’s Rotate Blorbos

Name any characters you created. We've got the original Lexical boy Samuel Smith, Atem and Sadaf who you've already heard of, Lars DuPont from Amberhill.

Who’s the most unhinged? Sadaf.

Who comes the most naturally for you to write? For whatever reason Samuel's self-loathing PI perspective just comes very natural and is maybe someone I should write more about.

Do you ever cringe at them? Nah

How much control do you feel you have over your characters? Depends, my mind does not wonder so much that I don't feel like I am ever not in control. But who I am able to focus on tends to be a matter of debate.

Do you enjoy people asking questions about your characters? Yes absolutely. Characters, worlds, magic systems; I'll rant about any of them given the chance.

On Writeblr Engagement

What makes you want to follow another Writeblr account? A combination of preferred genre (urban fantasy), shared interest (books/games/table top). Also if they have Scribe as part of their name it's just an auto follow.

Do your mutuals’ characters occupy space in your noodle? There's a few. The telepaths from Sunset and their many ways of being terrifying are the first that come to mind. Since I already mentioned the scribes I'll go ahead and tag @scribe-cas , @covenscribe and leave the rest of the tag open. Here is an empty template

[riddlerosehearts]

i know it's past halloween when i'm posting this, but as a vildia shipper i've been thinking a lot about what vil and idia would do together for halloween--ignoring the existence of the halloween event that we already have--and since i imagine them getting together post-book 6, when ortho has joined the film club and idia is trying to be a better brother to him and be less of a shut-in overall, i think it's a lot of fun to imagine the two of them taking him trick-or-treating!!

i think ortho has tried to get idia to take him trick-or-treating before, but every year idia always says no because he thinks going around to a bunch of rando's houses to get candy is scary, lame, and pointless (they can literally just buy candy at the store, after all!) and he has too many special halloween events to play in his video games anyway. so one day during a film club meeting a few weeks before halloween, ortho offhandedly mentions this, saying he's always wished idia would take him trick-or-treating, and vil decides to talk to idia about it. it actually doesn't take much for idia to agree that yes, it is wrong of him to stay in his room all day when his little brother wants to spend time with him on a holiday, and he absolutely should do it this year, no matter how nervous the thought of it makes him.

he asks vil to come with them, and vil initially says no because as much as he enjoys the aesthetic of halloween, he has a certain reputation and image as a celebrity that does not include doing such childish activities at the age of 18. but idia gets him to change his mind by convincing him that, actually, a lot of his fans would love to see photos and videos of him taking a little kid trick-or-treating because it would be gap moe! a term which vil understands without explanation thanks to idia--and he can see how such a thing just might actually be good for his image, simply by making him seem less otherworldly and unrelatable. so, he agrees, and the three of them spend the next several weeks trying to make their costumes absolutely perfect.

they really go all out, and they have a ton of fun with it. idia's costume has a mask that he keeps on at pretty much all times, so that keeps him from being nearly as nervous as he thought he'd be... except for when ortho gets so excited that he tries to just blast off from house to house without him or vil. but, he and vil both are incredibly happy to see that ortho is so happy, and throughout the night idia's ego gets inflated from all the compliments the three of them get on their costumes, and he and vil constantly exchange snarky comments under their breath about the quality and craftsmanship, or lack thereof, of the costumes and decorations they come across. they collect tons of candy and idia makes sure to add a special attachment to ortho's gear to allow him to actually eat it. vil started thinking he was too old for trick-or-treating a long time ago, but he ends up being pretty glad he went, especially when he sees all of the positive reactions from his fans on magicam.

i also think that before and after the trick-or-treating, ortho would hang out and do halloween stuff with his fellow first years while idia and vil take some time for themselves! the first thing they would do is that idia would introduce vil to one of his favorite survival horror video games, one that has a 2-player co-op mode, and vil might take a bit to get the hang of it but would ultimately really enjoy playing the game with idia.

later at night, they cuddle up and have a bit of a halloween movie marathon. based on idia's love of pumpkin hollow, he's definitely into horror movies, and i also think vil is as well, since he was directing a gothic horror for the film club in silver's PE uniform vignette and then based pomefiore's halloween costumes on gothic horror aesthetics. so, vil would get idia to watch his favorite classic gothic horror film, idia would force vil to watch pumpkin hollow (which vil did not think he would enjoy based on idia's description of its story, but by the end, while he still found it a bit silly, he was able to admire its craftsmanship and creativity and see why idia loved it so much), and then they decide to wind down and watch something more lighthearted. they pick howl's moving castle and idia compares howl to vil several times during the movie, which vil briefly gets annoyed by but then uses as an opportunity to tease idia back.

[breealtair]

Okay so I've read a fanfic once upon a time where Steve was dragged to a school performance of Rocky Horror Picture Show by his gremlins who are attending to support Eddie who is playing Dr. Frank'n Furter and Steve has his bisexual awakening seeing Eddie in fishnets and a corset. And it was fantastic.

HOWEVER.

Imagine if maybe Steve was in the production. Hear me out. In a world where Steve and Robin became friends before he graduated (or maybe it's a midnight shadow cast at the local drive in), Robin has been cast as Riff Raff.

(listen the the theatre department at my college has a tradition of putting on a shadow cast every year and we have always cast a female presenting queer person as riff raff and its literally the hottest riff raff can possibly be and Robin has the same vibes of the people I've seen in the role she would totally rock it)

Anyways, Robin is cast as riff raff and she some how drags Steve into being in the show. I'm imagining either they didn't have someone to fill the role OR Nancy was cast as Janet and it was a poor attempt at trying to get her best friend back together with his ex.

And of course there is Eddie as Frank'n Furter and working with him in such a way throws Steve into the deep end of his bisexual awakening (plus the two gross close together)

Now here's the thing. I'm torn between Brad and Rocky for the Role that Steve would be cast in.

Because on one hand, Steve being Brad while Nancy is Janet would be great because of the the bedroom scene and the parallel of Brad and Steve both having their bisexual awakening while trying to maintain the heteronormative expectation of staying with Nancy/Janet.

But on the other hand! Steve as Rocky is both hilarious and so great. For one, I had the joy of co directing a shadow cast and we cast a himbo football player who had no idea what Rocky Horror Picture Show was. His gay friend in the department told him he had to audition and he did so no questions asked. His LIP SYNC audition was Tequila by the Champs which only has one word in the whole song and he basically stipped down to his underwear (without our prompting) and shimmied around the room for the whole song. So I know the joys of having a jock himbo cast as Rocky. It's a delight. His football friends came to see the show and were scandalized. He was so confused by everything that Rocky Horror is. He really bonded with my best friend who is gender queer as fuck and played Frank'n Furter. I saw him discover some stuff about himself. He rocked that corset. A himbo jock as Rocky is top tier (only to be out done by the time we cast a female cosplayer who had just taken a weight lifting class and was able to dead lift a man twice her size). So imagining Steve as Rocky also fits just as well and still lends to the "trying to set Steve up with Nancy" bit because, you know, touch a touch me exists.

Some more food for thought is the time that my school cast two gay best friends as Janet and Brad except they cast the lesbian as Brad and the gay boy as Janet. The chemistry between the two of them and the way they were able to truly performe a peak satire of gender norms from a crossdressing perspective was truly amazing. That was truly a fantastic time and I could totally see a fic where Robin was cast as Brad and Steve as Janet.

Basically what it comes down to is that, I've seen a couple of fics in which Eddie is Frank'n Furter and Steve watches the show, but I have yet to see a fic where Steve somehow winds up in the show and has to face his bi awakening in the most tactile and face to face way possible.

So I need help.

One, which role would be the best role for Steve? (One plays into the jock himbo vibes, the other into the hetero facing his bisexual awakening, and the last plays into the platonic with a capital P soul mates vibe)

Two I need someone to actually write this fic (or all three versions of it honestly.

(Honestly. I feel like Steve would play Janet with Robin as his Brad only after he had been in the show once and felt more comfortable with the show and himself. I also think that him as Rocky would make sense because it would be the role that all his friends who were familiar with the show would push him towards. Meanwhile, maybe Nancy and Jonathan are cast as Janet and Brad and the whole "rocky stealing Janet away from Brad" thing would be part of the "get your girlfriend back scheme" on Robin's part.)

[blucassiopeia]

Liar

"A prelude spin-off for an upcoming fic"

warnings: afab!reader, angst, comfort, hot violent semi, singer!reader

A Semi Eita x reader one shot or maybe not one shot

a/n: nervous about my first one shot.. criticisms will be accepted. it'll make me improve my works.

Semi groaned at the start of his day, smashing his eagle-designed alarm clock at his night table. He thought it was stupid for his highschool volleyball teammates to have a matching alarm clock that's so annoyingly loud every morning. He glared at it as he made his way to his bath.

It's a start of an another stressful day���morphed to a normal one because of the repetitive occurences. Brief sched meetings, interviews, band practices, photoshoots, recordings and repeat. But not on weekends though. On weekends, he can say that he can breathe even though he's basked in his popularity and non-existent privacy.

There's no remorse with this kind of life whatsoever. It's his way to cope up, to keep him busy, to drive himself away from his thoughts of her. A woman that's not you.

You saw her for the first time when Semi's management had to contact you for a very special event you're going to perform with him. You thought it was a recording or a mini event on malls, anything was on mind but a wedding.

"A wedding?"

You remembered how he stared at you with tired eyes, drumming his pen on the table in front of his slouching figure. He hummed a minute after and closed his eyes, massaged his temples and brows.

"Look, I really need to perform a song. I need it to be perfect. And I need a counterpart, and a co-singer for the... event." He made the last word sound so bitter in his tongue.

Semi is known is the music industry for his talentsーthough he has a band second to being also a singer-songwriter, and he has you for a fan. It's a secret you swear to God no one shall know because you're kinda shy and awestruck right now. He's also known as a friendly and approachable one in front of the cams, but so cold and distant off-cam. Workaholic.

"But why me?"

"The management picked you. Ask them. So..? Will you or will you not?"

You scowled at his tone. He shall ask you nicely. But, offers like this wouldn't come by often and it'll be a boost in your career if you'll do it with Semi, so the next day,¹ you started practicing with him in his studio.

Semi's songs are often emotional, and if you knew better, he's addressing it to someone special. But you never imagined him and his eyes glazing over at this particular song you've been practicing now for two days.

"I'm sorry. Can we have a break?"

His voice close to hitching, he's gulping so hard and can't seem to focus his eyes. He exited his studio and went somewhere else inside this condo of his, and you were met with silence. You sighed and looked around.

Pictures were scattered in his corkboard, you were drawn onto it. Volleyball. His teammates. Training camps. College. Trips. A golden-haired girl. More of it. More of her.

Slices of Semi's life in front of you. What a pleasure to be here.

You continued the practices with him steeling his resolve to finish the songs without having to take breaks in between. The wedding is nearing and he had prepared everything for you. All you have left to do is to be with him, stay by his side throughout the length of the event and sing with him.

You have seen pro-volleyball players in the venue, and a lot more familiar faces from his friends. The newly-wedded couple was gorgeous and loving, until you realized that the girl in Semi's pictures were the same as the one in front of you.

"Semi-saaan! Is she your date?" Her eyes full of amazement and excitement dunned over Semi that's having a hand on your waist, you felt it froze and gripped.

"Hm. Isn't that obvious? I can't attend some event like this without a date." Liar.

"Oi! Semi! Invite me in your wedding too, okay?" The groom spoke in between his conversation with the other men in his side.

"Of course!" That smile he flashes are fake. Liar.

The first dance of the wedded couple is on and this is the time where you and Semi had to the work you've been practicing on. The rhythm starts and throughout those songs, all you see is a heartbroken Semi in front of his mic, gazing at the bride. It's showinv in his voice that you had to hold his hand to get his attention. He tried to give you eye contact but it's unsuccessful. His gazes always flying back to where his heart is.

"Tsukishima Ran, am I going to call you now with his surname? You're still ugly." Laughs were all over the venue when he said that, few hoots and cheers on their high school friends.

"I just wanna say one thing coz I don't wanna make this long. Man, I know you'll make her happy so I'm just gonna ask you not to leave her. Cherish her more each passing day. It'll be easy for you, it's in your vows. And please, let me hang out with your kids in the future, I'm gonna teach them how to be like me. Bestest wishes to the both of you and more poops in the future." Laughs erupted again as Semi passed the mic on the emcee.

The rest of the night were worse, you watching Semi that's watching the bride from afar. You had to say something. "Why didn't you?"

"It's not in the agreement to talk about my life, Y/n." You shivered at his cold tone and never dared to speak again till the end of the event.

And it was the last time you had sang with Semi, or even talked with him. Whenever you find yourselves in the same room, he avoids you with all his might.

You had listened to his every song you have 3 favorites now, you picked his interest in volleyball, even watched league matches live, and swinging by his condo, just to be shut out by him. You were worried for him. You knew he needs someone to talk to, someone to share his problems and dilemmas with. You. He needs you.

You're in love with the broken Semi Eita.

And he's oblivious to that fact. He walked out of his condo just to find another goodies placed in his doorway inside a basket. He huffs and brought it inside with the others and started his routine again. He has to keep moving to be preoccupied. He has to be so tired that when he comes home later that night, he'll just plop to his bed and straight to sleep, not having space for unnecessary thoughts.

It was already a year and the woman he love already gave birth to twins. She's still as beautiful as the day he met her, still as radiant and adorable. He wanted to visit her and her kids, but he has to be kind to himself and heal first before showing up.

Like that'll help, he thought.

Whenever he sees you in his space, whenever, he'll be reminded of that day he gave up taking chances on the love of his life. Whenever he sees you, he's smacked by the fact that he'll never move on from her. Whenever he sees you, he'll feel how broken he is. You bring him pain, and he's avoiding you because of that.

"Leave me alone. I don't need to see you every fucking time. I don't want to see you after this. Please. Get away from me." He said one time when he found you again in his door, bringing your usual goodies.

"Liar."

That word sent a sharp pain to Semi as he stared at you, jaw dropped.

"You have been lying to yourself since that wedding, Semi Eita. When will you stop?"

He can't comprehend your words, faltered by his shock and disbelief, and anger arising. He felt his blood boil and dragged you inside and closed the door. You saw how his condo changed from the last time you've been here. Your eyes stopped wondering at the punch he gave to the door behind you.

"Who do you think you are to say those words to me? What do you know about me? You know nothing. Stop pestering me and get the hell out of my life!"

"Liar." Why did you drag me in, then? You wanted to say that. But not now that his eyes were blazing, but you can't back down. There's still that something in him that magnetizes you, something..

"Stop calling me a liar! You don't know what I've been through so stop calling me that!"

"Stop lying, then!" You snapped back at him. Both of you were breathing heavy, his breath fanning in your face.

The tension was stagnant for a while, you're not daring to back down from his hateful glares. He was growling, you're sure if you're not a girl you would be across his genkan by now because of his anger.

That was just cut off by his phone ringing. He slammed the door once and went straight to his living room to talk to the caller. That was your chance to breathe. Fuck, he was so close.

"Ran?" He paused and shuts his eyes close, throat bobbing. "Yea, I almost forgot, it's Saturday. I'm sorry. Gonna be there in 15." His voice was hoarse when he spoke. "Hm, I'm okay. Yes.ーyes."

Then he dropped the call and went straight to youーno, to the door behind you to open it, ignoring your presence. You don't wanna be locked out alone in his condo so you immediately slithered your way out before he closes the door. He groaned and left you, yet you followed him.

You know you'll follow him anywhere.

He was so fucked out when you followed him even to Ran's house. The moment you stepped out of your own carーto which was not your plan because you planned on riding his car forcefullyーhe managed to get a hold of your elbow and gripped it tight sending you shots of pain you whimpered.

"I told you to stay away from me, Y/n! Why did you follow me all the way here!?"

"You'll be putting yourself in danger."

He blinked once and you felt his grip loosened for a second. There was a swift wave of falter on his raged expression.

"For the last time, PLEASE stay away from me! Stop following me around! I don't want you near me! PLEASE!"

"Not a chance, Semi. If you can't fix yourself, then I will do it myself. You're not getting rid of me coz I'm not gonna give up until you take that fucking mask off your face!"

That day you stormed inside a house uninvited, Semi knew it was impossible to push you away. That day when you talked with Ran that you'll be with him babysitting her kids, Semi regretted he dragged you to his world. That day you squealed upon gazing at the twins, he knew he was doomed. That day when he saw you carrying one of the twins he's supposed to be babysitting, for a brief second, he wanted to be true to himself. Not to Ran, but to you.

Sugawara Koshi | Kuroo Tetsurou | Akaashi Keiji | Sakusa Kiyoomi | Kageyama Tobio | Oikawa Tooru

Reblogs and interactions are appreciated. Theories will be entertained. Cassie 2023.

[fierykitten2]

I was playing through the Kalos Villain Arc last night (I had a 1 in 3 chance of getting a sync pair I wanted (Serena or Shauna) and I just got Clemont again. I already had Clemont. And why does Team Rocket need to get so involved in villain arcs other than Kanto and Johto (and arguably Alola)? I’ve only played Hoenn, Sinnoh and Kalos so far and they’ve appeared every time! I’m sure this would make some level of in-universe sense to me if I’d have played through Kanto and/or Johto first but I decided to prioritise more interesting regions first. I do plan on doing Johto soon but I can’t help but be put off it because I know no other villainous team is going to get that level of relevance) and I thought it was funny that Calem had no idea what Volcanion was. I’ll be honest, I think that’s kinda forgettable and when I’m calling a Mythical forgettable… okay probably doesn’t mean much but the other day I was helping a friend do a Pokémon sudoku or something (he just told me clues. Generally a type combination and occasionally if it was Legendary/Mythical) and one of the clues was Fire/Water (or Water/Fire. I don’t tend to memorise the order of types) and I know the only answer that can be given there is Volcanion so I suggested Volcanion and he agreed it was forgettable (although he mainly cited it being an event-exclusive Mythical from a “bad” generation I can’t really judge how bad Gen 6 is because I haven’t actually played X and Y (Lysandre’s intention to use the Box Legendary’s power to affect the player character and their rivals sounds a bit weird in X but killing them all makes more sense so I’ll give it a pass in Y) I just love most of the Pokémon) and that (I meant this as Calem not knowing Volcanion exists but admittedly my friend calling Volcanion forgettable also works as an argument here) kinda feeds into a point I had yesterday morning (to myself) where I was thinking that they should do an “Untold Story of Pecharunt”-style video for every modern Mythical (I guess I’m kinda starting “modern” about 12 years ago with X and Y but you know at least there’s a fairly high chance at least one of the three of them (Diancie, Hoopa and Volcanion and if you’re gonna do it for Hoopa at least do it for the other two. I love Diancie more and Volcanion is genuinely forgettable as this post is saying) is gonna get featured in Z-A (as well as another “modern” Mythical according to the Teraleak) so that’s cool) and I know I’m still counting Wake and Leaves as Mythicals and specifically want the two of them to get videos like this (with the rest of the Proto Beasts and Neo Swords respectively of course. Could also let the two of them share a video but I don’t think that would work with how the games (and adaptations at least pretend to) like to split the Paradox Pokémon up so they don’t co-exist with the other set) although I do think that giving them lore videos might ruin the mystery of the Paradox Pokémon a bit however I’d like to believe they could do something where it’s the AI Professor of that version who has discovered the Proto Beasts/Neo Swords and decided to make a video to discuss their findings (that still doesn’t really resolve the “it’s no longer mysterious” problem, if anything it only makes it worse. I think I’d actually resolve it by getting the videos just show how they act on a day-to-day basis rather than making any Paradox origin theory confirmed or debunked (maybe other than imagination which I thought was already debunked))

You know what? I’m gonna challenge myself by coming up with idea for these videos for each “modern” Mythical plus Wake and Leaves (I do count them as Mythical and I could have sworn there was something about HOME restricting them but not the rest of their trio members like how they do with restricted Legendaries and Mythicals) but I think it’s best to count them separately here):

Diancie - focus on how it mutated from Carbink and (if it’s canon to the game universe) how it’s the princess of the Diamond Domain (I’d assume this isn’t canon because it sounds like it’s never brought up anywhere else)

Hoopa - give more information about its hoops and their relation to Hoenn’s Mirage Spots

Volcanion - there’s not really much lore outside what its body is capable of but apparently its been sighted in Kanto, Johto and Sinnoh (and presumably Hoenn and Kalos) so that would make an interesting story

Magearna - stuff about how it was made and the purpose it was made for. Also I only just discovered that its main form is actually what happened after the colour on its Original Colour form “decomposed”. Honestly Magearna seems to be what I think Sandy Shocks is (and what Occulture seems to think Iron Bundle is) - a robot from the past

Marshadow - I guess how it hides in people’s shadows and mimics them idk

Zeraora - basically it is the Swords of Justice but it isn’t. In the movie it even hates humans for a fire

Meltan/Melmetal - I won’t say they already have something but I could have sworn they had some kind of trailer thing that might have come with lore but I guess most of these guys had some kind of “trailer” so I should probably come up with an actual idea here. I guess stuff about where Melmetal lives and how it used to be worshipped

Zarude - how it heals others (some of these aren’t things we’re missing just random lore about the Mythicals because I don’t think about them enough to come up with headcanons) and also how aggressive it is

Walking Wake - it and the rest of the Proto Beasts protecting either their home place (preferably narrated by AI Sada) or Paldea

Iron Leaves - it and the rest of the Neo Swords protecting either their home place (preferably narrated by AI Turo) or Paldea

Pecharunt - already has one, that’s the point

The main problem here is unfortunately I’m trying to come up with ideas for videos that give new lore/a new perspective to old lore which is fine for Wake and Leaves because I obsess over them enough to have headcanons but it’s difficult for everyone else

For Wake and Leaves I made a post the other day where I thought about how cool it would be if they could be implied to adventure into Kalos (but not Lumiose City because no Paldean Pokémon are likely to appear in Z-A) when their events aren’t active and I think it would be cool if that idea could be played with here as well but I kinda assumed they wouldn’t play with that idea so I didn’t mention it