#Camazotz was killer though

[whalehouse1]

A YouTuber I watch every now and then: I can’t wait for LB7. It looks like it’s going to test your ability as a master and looks fun.

Me, a Dino nerd, mythology nerd and someone with a basic understanding of geography: I will burn this singularity to the ground, shove an ORT buttplug up Nasu and Takeuchi, slit Daybit’s throat, knee Tezcatlipoca in the knees if I hear “WOO” one more time and bring about the end of this fifth world as we know it!

[mountphoenixrp]

We have a new citizen in Mount Phoenix:

                                            Camazotz, the God of Bats,                                    whose origins stem from Ancient Mayan Mexico.                                               He is now Sun-Wukong’s assistant.

FC NAME/GROUP: Park Seojoon GOD NAME: Camazotz PANTHEON: Mayan OCCUPATION: Works as assistant to Wukong HEIGHT: 1,86m WEIGHT: 69kg DEFINING FEATURES: Marks that resemble scars on his back where his batwings sprout, head of a bat in his original form, strong eyebrows, usually wears a suit and generally dresses in blacks, greys or whites

PERSONALITY: Camazotz (or as he decided more modernly Camamor, shortened to Caça) is stoic in his day to day, especially now that he works for Wukong who to him is the penultimate of disorganized management, often having to deal with the god’s tasks in the business. He doesn’t let go much information about himself and tends to hold a respectful distance. He can however be very blunt and direct, not beating around the bush even with those he cherishes, and appears cold-hearted. Even with his daughter he maintains a relationship that would appear to be distant and disapproving. He doesn’t usually communicate it if he’s happy or proud though he is absolutely not devoid of these emotions. It takes a certain attitude towards him to receive this attitude back, for example a setting with friends in which they can relax.

HISTORY: (Sorry this is very long i tried my best to cut down to essentials but i didn’t want to hold back parts of his story from you on the app!) It’s been a long time since Camazotz first saw the light and started dwelling between the underworld, the middleworld and the upperworld. As the God of Bats he had a home, Zotzilaha the House of Bats, in the underworld, Xibalba. And for a long time that had been where he lived and spent most of his time. Camazotz wasn’t particularly interested in the other worlds, finding his duty in harbouring the souls that came to the underworld as he would occasionally cut a body from its soul and made sure all the dead that arrived would be accounted for down the line. It was tedious at times but dutiful work.

It was when the Hero twins arrived in Xibalba to avenge their father that things started to change. At the end the twins were considered heroes and as such he was practically a hero killer. Was this who he was? With this loss for the lords of the underworld Camazotz started to find his own purposes. He started mixing into the middleworld more and exploring what humans did exactly while they were alive. Why they were so terrified of death. He had heard their stories while working as a guide and accountant of sorts in the underworld but stories were just stories, he couldn’t identify with what they told him. Until he saw for himself.

In this new age for Camazotz the god decided he wanted to try to live as them and experience this world supposedly rich of beauty and love. He had no idea what that was. He found himself a body, severed the soul from it and through his hard effort made it his own. The man he took was a noble, working as a government official. It was as he guided the soul to the underworld that he had his first lesson in why people were afraid of death. The man begged him, not for his own life, but for his wife and 20 year old daughter to be taken care of by Camazotz. He was afraid for those closest to him. Camazotz decided to heed this request as he sent the noble off, promising he would take care of them for good fortune to befall his wife and daughter. As such he returned, taking the body and hiding it for his own use once the request had been fulfilled. He saw worry and fear first, confusion and a loss of direction. Then he saw pain and shame as the mother and daughter were starting to get accused of murder and hiding the body. The noble man his family were cutting them from their family tree as if they never were part of it. Now it was despair and anger. Soon they were forced to leave their house and were cast out. It was at this point that the bat god began to understand what it was like to be human and why the man had feared his own death for the sake of his family. He watched the two women scrambling for help and food but very little people wanted to associate with them in fear of also being cast out. Camazotz thought this, the world is unfair. And that was a fundamental fact that could not be changed.

The next 7 years were spent by Camazotz securing a place for the women to live, and killing anyone who could mean them harm. But during all that time he hadn’t come to know their feelings or understood them. Camazotz thought his work was done and waited out the days for the two to pass away. However, to his surprise one of the two died earlier than he expected. The mother had been in the kitchen, and in the whim of the moment stabbed herself in the chest and killed herself. The bat watched her bleed out from a corner, and as the daughter came in moments later saw her shake her mother’s body to no avail. She cradled her dying mother as she cried, asking her why and telling her she loved her. The god his conclusion on this was simple; He must had failed, she must’ve not been happy, and he had no idea what happiness meant.

The daughter now was the only one who had remained of the family, but that was also not meant to last long as she picked up the knives and her pitchfork. She left her mother behind in the house and travelled back to where she came from, her father’s house. She watched it for a few moments till she continued on her way and made it to the house of her old family. And with his help she went on a rampage. One girl was not a big fight, so she was quick to fall, but that didn’t matter to the God. He returned to his original form and slayed everyone in the house to fulfil her wishes.

With his promise done Camazotz returned to the body he preserved in Xibalba and spent considerable time and effort unifying himself with it. The body became part of him, another shape that he could access with effort. Although he could never betray his home in Xibalba he distanced himself from it and began to explore the world, for centuries roaming the middleworld before he looked for contact with the upperworld to understand more. He was curious about them, what it was like to be revered and considered ‘good’ and what exactly consisted being ‘good’. For centuries he studied the intricacy of morality.

Most recently this search has lead him to Mount Phoenix where he currently works and lives. He likes to think he has come far in his discovery of the human emotions and life, and morality. Camazotz even feels regret in how he handled the situation when he first decided to come to the middleworld, but knows that he knew no better. He remains out of touch with the underworld although if he is required to do something there he does return and carries out his duties.

POWERS: Shapeshift into a bat, turn into his original form but turning back into a human form takes considerable time and effort, can travel to the Mayan underworld Xibalba (not in human form), can cut the silver thread of life that joins the body to the soul STRENGTHS: Precision, adaptability, loyalty, unwavering WEAKNESSES: Controlling, demanding, autonomous

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

The Thief and the Samurai OCs [More Six Shot OCs, kind of]

Episode list here

In the world of Six Shots there is a TV show that is a joint animation project between British animators and Japanese animators. That show is The Thief and the Samurai, which tells the story of a young, blind wandering samurai girl and her unlikely friendship with a scarred, eyepatch-wearing middle aged thief. Together the two wander a bizarre Earth with elements of fantasy and science fiction thrown in, fighting evil and finding treasure as well as learning a great many things along the way.

Currently there are four seasons of 26 episodes each. Every other season is divided into two separate arcs, with seasons 1 and 3 being fully devoted to their stories while seasons 2 and 4 have two seperate storylines of 13 episodes each that come together for a grand conclusion.

The show is basically the equivalent of Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure mixed with Samurai Jack in-universe, as neither show exists.

The show is filled with elements that would piss off the British regime, including positive portrayals of homosexuality and the Irish.

The time the show is set is very ambiguous, but it is similar to worlds such as Chrono Trigger and Final Fantasy VI in that there is technology such as guns and robots alongside more magical elements such as demons and witches.

The arcs are as follows:

Season 1 – The Adventure Begins

Season 2A – Strange Eons

Season 2B – Wrath of the Demon King

Season 3 – Sakura and Michelle’s World Tour

Season 4A – Ghosts of the Past

Season 4B – My Master’s Keeper (currently airing)

THE SHOW

Seasons 1, 2A, and 3 are the most popular seasons of the show so far.

Season 2B is the most reviled arc, as many fans found Camazotz to be a far inferior villain to Doboro and they did not find the demons who went after Sakura and Michelle to be particularly entertaining, with the exception of Thot.  Doboro’s return in the finale of season 2 was met with great praise.

Season 4A was not well-received until season 4B began to air, as season 4B has so far provided more context for Jet’s actions in the first half of season 4. 

While very popular in Japan, season 3 has more mixed reception in other parts of the world, as it is very monster-of-the-week. However, despite this it still manages to consistently progress the plot, so many are more forgiving.

The show is most popular in America, Japan, Ireland, and Portugal. 

The show is banned entirely in Britain.

MAIN CHARACTERS

Sakura Miror

The daughter of the British pirate queen Rhiannon Miror and the ninja Hiro Hayabusa, Sakura was fascinated from a young age by stories her father would tell her of brave samurai warriors. At the age of eight she was blinded in a freak accident aboard her mother’s ship, and fell into a depression, until her powers developed. After that, she found a teacher and trained for years so she could become a great samurai and travel forth to protect the innocent.

Sakura has abilities very similar to Daredevil, in that she has a sort of radar sense. Her remaining senses are also enhanced.

She is 21 years old, six feet tall, and has red hair. All of these are traits she gets from her mother.

She wears sunglasses all of the time.

Michelle Kitt

A mysterious thief who saved Sakurra’s life during an ambush. She is completely covered in scars and has an eyepatch from some accident she can’t recall; all she knows is that said accident cost her the life of her husband and child, and since then she has turned to a life of plundering and picking pockets. However, since meeting Sakura she has tried to turn over a new leaf, and has more actively tried to help people.

She is 41 years old, five foot six, has dark hair, and has an eyepatch over her right eye.

She prefers to be called a “treasure hunter” than a thief.

She doesn’t have any superhuman capabilities like Sakura; she is just really incredible at stealing, picking pockets, and breaking locks. She could steal a wallet right out of your pocket while looking right at her and you wouldn’t notice until later.

She feels a bit insecure about her looks as she feels her scars make her ugly.

Rhiannon Miror

Rhiannon “The Red” Miror was one of the most feared pirate queens to ever sail the seven seas, known for her ruthlessness towards her enemies as much as for her kindness and graciousness to those she considered a friend. She fell in love with Hiro Hayabusa after a failed assassination attempt, and together the two produced a child: Sakura. She became semi-retired due to a freak accident on her boat blinding her daughter; racked with guilt over it, she decided to retire from piracy for the time being.

She is six feet and six inches tall.

Hiro Hayabusa

Sakura’s father. A renowned ninja, the only failed assassination in his career was when he failed to kill Rhiannon, instead impressing her so much that she took him as a husband. He is a kind, noble, and soft spoken man who very much loves his daughter and feels nothing but pride for her.

He is five foot six inches tall.

ALLIES

Brother Moon

A mysterious priest who runs a church in the British countryside. He may or may not be an alien. He first appeared during the “Wrath of the Demon King” arc of season 2.

Lady Kali

A four-armed woman from India who is seen as a holy figure there, Lady Kali is a super-strong master of hand-to-hand combat who dedicated her life to protecting her  people from evil spirits. She first appeared in season 2, before getting a major part in the India section of season 3.

Master Ishida

Sakura’s master, who trained her as a child. He appeared early in season 1 and had scant appearances until his major role in season 4, which featured him heavily and greatly expanded his backstory, revealing many other students he had taught over the years.

Kurtwood Armstrong

An American tavern owner with insane physical strength. He is incredibly loud, brash, and patriotic, and does not take well to insensitive and cruel people. Michelle and Sakura aided him in freeing his town from the wiles of Cyrus Lovelace in season 3.

Kristopher Kross

A gay German man with the power of magnetism who Sakura and Michelle helped escort through a perilous mountain pass during the German portion of season 3.

Lesedi

An African villager with the ability to shoot blasts of light. Sakura and Michelle aided her in saving her village from the wicked powers of Morrigan Maro.

Talia Ishtar

A young Egyptian woman with the power to make sand duplicates of herself. Sakura and Michelle helped her plunder an ancient tomb and fight off an undead pharaoh while searching for information on Orochi Overlong during season 3.

Vinny Pagliacchi

An Italian man with dwarfism and a bad temper who has the power to phase through objects. He enlisted Sakura and Michelle to help him take out some criminals during season 3.

MAJOR ANTAGONISTS

Lord Horatio Blackmore

An evil British inventor and criminal mastermind, Horatio Blackmore sought revenge against Michelle for stealing from him. While he has no powers to speak of, he has a brilliant mind and a massive airship which he uses to travel the world.

He has an eyepatch and a monocle. He used to wear glasses before he lost his eye.

He is a snappy dresser and also has a curly mustache.

He is a redhead.

He has several specially made canes, though he favors his cane sword and cane rifle most of all.

He was the villain of season 1. While he was defeated, he was not killed and has appeared several more times in the series.

The Triad

Three mysterious women named Faith, Hope, and Serenity. They seek Michelle, and serve the Man in Black.

Serenity is very ditzy and is a brunette. Hope is short, blonde, and irritable. Faith is extremely tall and strong, and has dark hair; she also is rarely seen with her eyes  open and without a smile on her face.

The three seem to have a wide array of powers, from incredible strength, speed, and stamina. As the end of season 1 reveals, this is because they are supernatural beings who serve the Man in Black.

They are not outwardly malevolent, and ease up towards the heroes at the end of season 1. Since then, they have even occasionally aided them, though their work requires they never stick around long.

The Man in Black

A mysterious man who seeks out Michelle for one reason or another. At the end of season 1, it is revealed  he is Death himself, and he was seeking Michelle out because he believed she cheated him; as it turns out, she beat him fair and square, and her family’s killer used some power to distort the truth. He forgave Michelle and allowed her to live to seek vengeance on her family’s killer.

He dresses in an all-black cowboy getup and resembles an older gentleman.

Camazotz

A demon king who resembles a giant, monstrous vampire bat. He was accidentally summoned forth in Professor Doboro’s attempts to awaken the Old Ones, and when he was banished before he could fully materialize by Sakura and Michelle, he vowed vengeance upon them, sending demonic forces to attack them. He is the villain of season 2B.

Hojo Doboro

A mad scientist who was kicked out of the university he once taught at due to his illegal experiments on the dead. He vanished for years, eventually coming back with an army of reanimated dead to seek the five keystones so he could summon forth ancient beings known as the Old Ones to re-write reality as he saw fit. He was the main villain of season 2A.

He supposedly stole a lot of his best ideas from other researchers. However, he is still incredibly brilliant.

He is heavily based on Herbert West and the Cthulhu Mythos. He also gets his name from one of the antagonists of the game Final Fantasy VII.

Orochi Overlong

A strange, lizard-like man who is also a powerful sorcerer. As is revealed towards the end of the season, he is actually the Yamata no Orochi trapped in a physical, human-like form, and his ultimate goal is to reclaim his original form so that he may rule over Japan once again. Using his considerably powerful magic, he blasts Sakura and Michelle halfway across the world and makes them travel across the planet to get back to him, with them only having 44 days to return to Japan before his plans are realized. He is the main villain of season 3, and the leader behind all the villains they end up encountering on their journey.

Jet

A former love interest of Samus from when she was a teenage student of master Ishida, he seemingly died when he fell off of a cliff during an assassin attack on the monastery. However, in season 4 he returned, and he returned seeking revenge against Master Ishida for failing him. He was apparently trained by a master known as “The Black Phoenix,” and with his newfound dark strength Jet seeks to destroy Master Ishida and all who stand in his way.

Akuma Kokuho

The Black Phoenix, an evil martial artist who was said to have made pacts with ancient demons so that he could be unstoppable and unkillable. He is the main antagonist of season 4. particularly part 4B where the full extent of his plans became revealed as well as his connection to Master Ishida: he was a former pupil who was rejected for his inability to reign in his violent tendencies, and became a disgrace to his family, who abandoned him. It was revealed that much of the mythology surrounding Akuma was nothing more than urban legend, but as it turned out he did have the ability to enhance his strength with dark fire and he also had a knack for coming back from supposed death.

MINOR ANTAGONISTS

Gemini

A creation of Professor Doboro, she was created when he stitched the halves of two twins killed by a serial killer together and brought them back to life. She serves as his bodyguard for much of his arc, though she ends up turning on him at the end.

Their original names were Sunny and Luna. Sunny was a platinum blonde, while Luna had black hair.

There is a line of stitches going directly down the middle of her body, from her forehead down.

Her stitches bleed if she becomes too stressed out. They are incredibly durable otherwise.

She has the powers of both sisters due to having both of their brains, or parts of them at least. From Sunny, she has fire powers; from Luna, she has ice powers.

Freya Darke

A young French woman who was turned into a steampunk cyborg by Horatio Blackmore. She acts as his bodyguard and the muscle for him for much of season 1. She abandons him after his airship crashes and goes off on her own; she has appeared antagonizing and helping out the heroes in equal numbers since then.

Morrigan Maro

A cannibal witch from the heart of Africa. She was tormenting a village with her black magic during the events of season 3. Sakura and Michelle were able to take her out with help from Lesedi.

She had the ability to absorb the power from anyone she has consumed. She had amassed quite a lot of power over the years.

Thot

A horny incubus and one of the many demons sent by Camazotz to kill Sakura and Michelle. He acted more as a minor nuisance than anything, and was easily dispatched almost every time he appeared on his own. By the end of the season, he had become smitten with Michelle and vowed to make her love him. He has appeared on a few more occasions to be a nuisance.

Kirk the Killer

An assassin with regenerative abilities from Romania. In his home country he is considered incredibly deadly, but he seems to frequently be on the end of absurd levels of abuse whenever hee appears. Debuting late in season 1, him getting comically slaughtered became a running gag in each of his appearances, save for his starring role in the Romanian episodes of season 3.

Cyrus Lovelace

A racist, homophobic preacher from the South who appeared in season 3. He had the power of a compelling voice, and could command people to do his bidding even against their will. He was a short, fat, mustachioed man.

Rika Ainia

A young warrior woman who was cursed by a witch whose husband she accidentally killed while sparring. The curse causes her to need to fight to the death with an opponent or else she will have to harm herself to ease the pain a bit; as her innate ability causes her to enter into a berserker rage when fighting, she more often than not would emerge victorious, having ended an innocent life. She ended up running afoul of Sakura and Michelle during season 4; however, as of the current episode her role has not entirely been revealed.

Giorgio Fuso, Dee Comporre, and Mr. Viticcio

The three deadly criminals who Sakura and Michelle helped Vinny take down. Fuso had the ability to generate magma; Comporre had the ability to shoot corrosive acid out of her mouth; and Mr. Vitticio could transform his arms into extending, flexible tentacles. All three were extremely dangerous foes.

Chicken Wire

An odd, cowardly man who appeared alongside Jet in season 4. Apparently Jet saved the strange man from dying; he gets his name because his mouth is wired shut as well as due to his cowardly nature. He seems to have some degree  of control over wires wrapped around his body, but to what extent is unknown. To all the world he seems rather unassming and buffoonish.

[eddycurrents]

The Bride of Hell & Others: “Hellboy in Mexico or, A Drunken Blur”

Words: Mike Mignola | Art: Richard Corben | Colours: Dave Stewart | Letters: Clem Robins

Originally published by Dark Horse in Hellboy in Mexico | May 2010

Collected in Hellboy - Volume 11: The Bride of Hell & Others | Hellboy in Mexico | Hellboy Library Edition - Volume 6 | Hellboy: Complete Short Stories - Volume 1

Plot Summary:

In 1982, following a mission in Mexico, Abe and Hellboy hang out in a derelict gas station while waiting for pick up. Abe discovers old photos of Hellboy with a trio of luchadores, which leads to a story of HB’s Mexican “vacation” in 1956, full of wrestling, drinking, and vampires.

Reading Notes:

(Note: Pagination is solely in reference to the story itself and is not indicative of anything found within the issues or collections.)

pg. 1 - It’s very bleak and hot where they are in Mexico in 1982. I love the opening panels as it kind of serves as a blank slate for the set up of the story. There’s Hellboy and Abe surrounded basically by mountains of nothing.

pg. 2 - It’s funny that in a story that explains bits of Hellboy’s past that this bit of Hellboy’s past, then present, goes unexplained. We don’t know what’s in that trunk and we don’t find out in this story.

pg. 4 - Gorgeous art from Richard Corben and Dave Stewart. The various photos and posters of the Mexican wrestlers before zooming in on Hellboy and the three brothers just show what kind of a celebrity phenomenon that HB was as a luchador. It’s like finding out a parent was the member of a band that was big in Japan.

Though draped in shadow, Hellboy’s posture is very telling for his grief and regret. Great expressiveness from Corben.

pg. 5 - Interesting explanation for why evil exists. This is one of the things I love about folklore and mythology as they try to make sense of certain things in nature that happen.

I also like this story within a story within a story format. Nested narratives are always a favourite construction of mine.

pg. 6 - It’s funny that Hellboy explains away the other agents’ that went with him behaviour by stating that they were just kids when HB himself is only “12″ in 1956.

pg. 7 - Hilarious understatement.

pg. 9 - The idea of luchadors fighting monsters is a brilliant one. It just makes so much sense. Many of the Mexican wrestlers are already in costumes and masks, so to have them as vampire and monster hunters seems like a natural extension of the idea.

pg. 10 - I love Corben’s take on vampires here. 

pg. 11 - Getting sauced regularly while cutting a swath through vampires is indeed likely a bad idea.

pg. 13 - Poor Esteban.

pg. 15 - There’s a question raised here that’s certainly troubling, regarding how far you’d potentially go in order to enact revenge or get information out of someone. How far is too far and you become the very monster that you’re hunting?

Also, just killer silhouette.

pg. 16 - One of the things that I love about Esteban’s transformation is that his Sacred Heart tattoo is changed as well. Now it’s a black heart encircled by a serpent. That’s a great detail.

Also, as Mignola points out in the introduction, Camazotz is a real Mayan bat god. It makes sense that Esteban would take over that identity in his new vampire incarnation. This also ties back to what the one woman said of the devil in the beginning, since Camazotz has ties to the Mayan underworld of Xibalba. 

pg. 17 - I just love these panels. Awesome sense of anticipation before the battle begins in earnest.

pg. 18 - Estaban no more. Poor kid.

pg. 19 - The detail on the vampires, showing age, variety, and degeneration is very impressive.

pg. 20-21 - Great action sequence here, tapping into some of the best Hellboy battles as he gets his clock cleaned for the first round.

Also, the vampire with the necklace of human hands that Mignola mentions in the intro that could be somebody but he lost his notes could well have been inspired by Cōātlīcue. She was an Aztec goddess, though, and a primordial earth mother, representing both creation and death.

pg. 22 - The bat face reveal is a sucker punch to Hellboy. Also just amazing design.

pg. 24 - It’s no wonder that Hellboy spent even more of his time drunk in Mexico. Having to do that to your friend would send just about anybody into an alcoholic binge spiral.

pg. 25 - I’d probably want to drink too.

pg. 26 - For more on Professor Bruttenholm’s reaction, pick up Hellboy and the BPRD #5.

pg. 28 - Love the idea that Hellboy was making luchador movies during his lost time. Also, these films help set up a recurring theme in the first part of this collection of the movie theatre.

Final Thoughts:

The timing on this read through and analysis with the current release schedule of the books in production is somewhat astonishing, as the historical series, Hellboy and the BPRD is currently at 1956. Its final issue very nicely dovetails the events of this one-shot, expanding even more on what Hellboy was doing in Mexico after the events of this story (we’ll be getting to the others in the Hellboy in Mexico collection way down the line as well). 

The Hellboy in Mexico stories in general, including this one, reveal one of the things that I’d love to see more of in the broader historical series, is expansion on some of the things that happen during that year. While I like the succinct stories that we’ve been getting, and the somewhat looser approach we’ll see during a couple of the Hellboy and the BPRD years, I think it would be interesting to see more side stories. More exploration of the various people outside of the core of Bruttenholm and Hellboy (and the various agents we’ll see as core in those forthcoming stories). It seems like the possibilities are endless and there’s still much left untold.

I mean, this story itself grew out of a simple drawing of Hellboy with a Mexican wrestler, it’s amazing how these things can develop.

d. emerson eddy is still messed up by Spanish, even after years of trying to figure it out. He knows French and Latin, so there are some intelligible words, but there are still many that he thinks means something, but turns out mean something else entirely. Verbs instead of nouns because they chose a different root during construction. Languages are weird.

[thetygre]

30 Day Monster Challenge 2 - Day #24: Favorite ‘Monster’ Animal

This was kind of meant to be my list of favorite animals that are generally considered ‘creepy’ or ‘bizarre’. They might seem incredibly tame these day, but I still remember a time when things like pet snakes were ‘weird’, and I wanted to talk about them.

1.       Giant Squid

My favorite animal. A real life sea monster. I never thought that I would actually see one in my lifetime, even with all our modern technology. After the first monster challenge, we got our first clear recording of a giant squid swimming in a Japanese bay. Just that footage told us so much about them; how they swim, what they look like moving, the shape of their tentacles and mantle. Being squid instead of octopi, it’s unlikely that the Architeuthis Dux is particularly intelligent. But even still, looking into that giant eye, I couldn’t help but wonder; how much is going on in there? Does it know who we are? When it swims in the darkness of the Abyssal Zone, in a place that has never seen sunlight, will it remember us? It’s an exciting time for squid chasers, that’s for sure.

2.       Aye-Aye

The Aye Aye keeps making ‘weird animal’ lists, and I honestly don’t understand why. It’s adorable! It’s a kind of nocturnal lemur that specializes in eating tree grubs. There’s a lot of superstition surrounding the Aye Aye on Madagascar; it’s considered an unlucky animal, and its elongated middle finger is supposed to give bad luck. I have a fantasy book that starts on Not-Madagascar, and the lemur-folks’ corrupt priests are all Aye Ayes; the look so cute in their robes and wooden masks. The Aye Aye is just a scruffy, scraggly little tree goblin that wants to sleep all day and eat more bugs.

3.       Anglerfish

A wise man, a man who I think tumblr knows relatively well, once sang a song about an anglerfish, and that song got me through some hard times. Anglerfish are absolutely fascinating animals; aside from their individual biological adaptations that are common across the whole family, each anglerfish is incredibly unique. They are an incredible example of evolutionary diversity, especially given that they live in such an unforgiving environment. It’s hard to pick a single favorite anglerfish; bearded, hairy, football, wolftrap, glass, etc. But I think there’s something to be said for the classic black sea devil; basic shape, killer name, and everything you could want out of an angler.

4.       Spotted Hyena

I feel like hyenas are coming down from the ‘creepy/weird’ animal lists. The world is collectively realizing that hyenas are actually adorable, and do a lot more work than they’re given credit for. Even still, there’s something to admire in just how strange they are compared to other mammals. While they’re efficient predators in their own right, hyenas will always be known for being scavengers. And of course, there’s the folklore surrounding them; hyenas are witches’ familiars in West African superstition, and even medieval Europeans though of them as unnatural creatures in their bestiaries. But I’m glad that we can appreciated hyenas more fully now.

5.       Vampire Bat

Our representative bat is still the standard bearer for the ‘spooky’ animals. It’s hard to tell how long bats have been associated with evil and darkness in certain cultures; even before vampires became tied to them, they were thought of as ‘night creatures’, and the ancient Mayans even had the chthonic bat god Camazotz. But the contrast is just so broad when you actually look at the vampire bat. For starts, they’re tiny, like all members of the microchiroptera family; the average vampire bat can fit in the palm of your hand. They live in groups, and they actually share the blood they drink with their young. Even still, the vampire bat has enough features to keep it weird; its dietary habits are still unusual for bats, it spends an inordinate amount of time walking on the ground compared to other chiroptera, and it has to be said, it still has a face like a feral goblin.

6.       Ball Python

We now enter the ‘used in movies to represent more dangerous species but actually a cinnamon roll’ portion of the list. Ball pythons are definitely a favorite when it’s time to put a snake on camera; they can grow pretty big, and they look exotic enough to be mysterious. But like hyenas, I feel like enough people know at this point that your average ball python is about as threatening as a pair of socks. It’s always hilarious to me to see a ‘cunning’ or ‘dangerous’ snake get referenced and then the crew pulls out a python. What’s it gonna’ do; sleep at the hero to death? Out in the wild you still get the odd case of a constrictor getting the drop on someone, which is barely enough to edge pythons on the ‘man’s predators’ list, but even those cases are freakishly rare. In the end, pythons are your legless, furless alternative to the cat; sleepy, hungry, and in constant need of body heat.

7.       Red Knee Tarantula

Every movie’s favorite spider is the red knee tarantula. Their big, they look dangerous, and they’re striking color scheme makes them stand out. Of course, tarantulas are one of the most harmless family of spiders to humans; they’re a terror to anything smaller than your finger, but generally safe for people. Their venom isn’t enough to kill or even seriously injure a person, though their giant mandibles still give a nasty pinch. Honestly, a person is probably more at risk from the stinging hairs tarantulas release as a defense mechanism than their bite. While all tarantulas are fuzzy and loveable, I’m still fondest of the Mexican red knee just for its Halloween color scheme.

8.       Emperor Scorpion

Naturally, as a Scorpio, I feel some predisposition to scorpions. I always liked them a little bit more than spiders, and still think that they’re the cooler of the two arachnids. The scorpion is one of nature’s near-perfect animals, capable of surviving in the harshest of environments. They were earth’s first terrestrial predators, the original monsters, and hunted our ancestors in the prehistoric oceans. These days, you can buy them at your mall pet store for a pretty reasonable price and feed them crickets. The emperor scorpion is still my favorite species because of how big and bulky it is. Its venom is relatively harmless because its claws have evolved to tear through the armor of its prey, though to us it’s just a nasty pinch. The whole goth-lobster package is offset by a pair of cute beady eyes looking up at you, begging you to have mercy on your species’ old nemesis and not stomp on it so it can scuttle away.

9.       Black Vulture

It was a tough call in the bird department, but I feel like corvids and owls have gotten enough love now that we can start focusing on vultures. Vultures have an uphill battle, because stupid, ignorant people can’t appreciate how cool having anti-bacterial acid urine really is. Vultures are synonymous with barren places, true animals of the waste. They’re scavengers down to a ‘t’, and the go-to example for why scavengers are important to any ecosystem. While the Egyptian vulture is the most ‘vulturish’ and the bearded vulture the most MAJESTIC, my personal favorite is the good old black vulture. Black vultures have been in some weird and interesting places in my life, to the point that I’m starting to think of them as some kind of omen. An omen that says, “Oh boy, I get to see a vulture today!”

10.   Xoloitzcuntli Dog

So the xolo dog takes bottom place by virtue of being a dog, and therefore a spiritually pure being inhabiting an earthly vessel to guide mankind towards goodness. These days, xolos are pretty popular, but I remember a time when Americans generally didn’t know about them by and large. When they first showed up in American media, they were labeled as ‘the world’s ugliest dog’, and I remember a few people wondering if they had mange or were pictures of chupacabras. With social media, everybody now knows that xolos are adorable, if still kind of comparatively weird looking, canine friends.