#Calum Grant

[piercethejo]

[little-worm-grant]

Moonboys: Top Notch Banter

Marc Spector & Steven Grant

404 words / Masterlist.

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Summary: Steven's all fired up and trying to explain British things to Marc. All of this is complete nonsense and none of it should be taken seriously.

Notes: Inspired by this post. Was funny to me it ended up being 404 words.

Marc was ready to pull his hair out. Staring forlornly back towards the reflection where his counterpart had been driving him crazy for the better part of a day.

They’d argued earlier and Steven decided there was no peace to be had. He chose violence, though nothing like Marc or Jake’s. Talking to himself mostly. Rambling, rambling, rambling. All in the constant vicinity of Marc. Making it near impossible to concentrate. If he couldn’t beat it. He tried joining it.

“But what does cheeky Nando's mean?? It has to have a meaning.”

Maybe he shouldn’t have asked. He was verging on losing his own sanity.

“Mate it’s hard to explain.” Steven started with a disappointed sigh. “It’s just like one day you’ll just be with your mates having a look in JD.”

“… right.” Marc answered. Finding none of it right. He really was trying to follow along. Steven continued on with little breath between his strung-together words of gibberish.

“And you might fancy curry club at the ‘Spoons but your lad Calum, who’s an absolute ledge and the Archbishop of Banterbury will be like, ‘Brevs, let’s have a cheeky Nando's instead.’ And you’ll think ‘Top. Let’s smash it.’”

Hand rubbing over his face to comprehend this level of fuckery. Marc stared for the longest time.

“What are you saying?? You’re not even British? Have you picked this up off the internet?”

“Oi! You wot. Don’t say that. I’ll have you.” Steven pointed his finger up threateningly. “I’ll clap your ears together, I swear on me mum.”

Marc inhaled longingly for a moment of peace. Head tilting back to stare at the ceiling. It was either he put up with this for another hour or say what he’d been meaning to say.

“Alright. Fine. I really can’t listen to you anymore. I’m sorry I ate the last Oreo.”

“Too right! I knew it was you! Knobhead. What’re you like?”

“Did you even know half the shit you were talking about?”

“Course! JD’s a shop you have a gander in. And everyone knows ‘Spoons. Solid place if you fancy a pint in the beer garden. Even if it tastes like piss.”

“Okay?”

And still, somehow, none of it was okay for Marc.

“Gotta love a cheeky Nando’s when the occasion calls for it. Just don’t invite any ledges or Archbishops of Banterbury unless you wanna get wankered.”

“Steven. I’m begging you, please. Forget I ever asked.”

[starshipsofstarlord]

Piece of Cake

Luke Hemmings x reader x Calum Hood

Summary Luke doesn’t think you like him, but oh does Calum know you do, and so he decides to interfere for both of your sakes

warnings = MDNI! includes smut, use of weed, blowjob, facial, slight angst, clitoral stimulation, exhibitionism

The last thing that you had ever expected whilst opening for 5sos during their post covid tour was for anything romantic or sexual to happen between you and one of the five members, of course that hadn't stopped you from dreaming lustful images, but never had you thought the opportunity would arise. That was until one evening when you were sat on the tour bus, Michael and Ashton had ventured off to spend time with their significant others, leaving you with the bassist and lead singer. You were sat on your bed, Luke and Calum were in the living space, you were rolling a blunt, licking the paper so that the contents would remain inside without quarrel without spilling out.

They were talking about music and other nonsense, whilse you were planning to get high, and you were rather glad that you hadn't even lit the blunt or taken the puff from it when you became the topic of their converse. Perhaps it was rude to listen in on their private conversation, especially when they had gifted you with a ride along on their tour to expand your own fan base, but it was impossible to help yourself. You were curious, that was all, and very intrigued.

“So about y/n?” There wasn’t much to the question that Calum was asking Luke, you could only imagine that the blond’s head perked up in as much confusion as your own was. “Are you going to make a move man, every time she’s up on that stage or she simply walks through the room you’re drooling more than your dog does.” Your head tilted in pivoted hope, however you weren’t going to make assumptions without a word being directly said to you… right? That would be absurd, especially considering within the spotlight that your career granted it was easy for rumours to be misinterpreted or spread throughout the media. However, this was the source that you were listening in on, and subjectively you chewed your own bottom lip as you awaited the response of the man whom was undergoing a friendly interrogation.

A long and drawn out sigh elevated from Luke’s lungs as he leant his curl rooted hair back, burning his eyes as he stared up at the ceiling lights that were built into the tour bus. “It’s not that I don’t want to man,” at least that was a comforting statement to feed your awaiting nerves, “but I feel like I have to remain professional. Not to mention, she probably isn’t interested in me anyways, have you seen how well her and Ash get along? If she were to want one of us, it definitely wouldn’t be me…” There was a seasoning of self sympathy behind his subjective words, of which formed a crack within your heart from hearing them. His undirected accusations were a harm to his own mind, inflicting his own doubts, and you could see how he could perceive your friendship with his band mate that way.

You and Ashton got along insanely well, he was the first one that calmed your nerves the first time that you were scheduled to perform before them. But the two of you were just friends and that was all. The entire conversation that you were intruding on with your hearing distracted you from the task that you were currently attempting to perform, and thus the joint that you had just glued together with the stick of your saliva escaped your grip as you fumbled and tumbled out of your bunk and onto the floor between the set of stacked beds. “Shit.” The curse spewed from your mouth as you instinctively reacted to the accidental slip of your fingers, and then your heart froze. You hadn’t wanted to make a noise, however now it was too late, and all you could do was hope that Calum and Luke had been oblivious to the sound of your voice.

“Y/n?” Calum cautiously enquired on your presence, the sound of his foot falls nearing closer and closer to your solitary destination, and instinctively you held your breath, not wanting to give your accidental agenda away to the bassist or the lead singer that had been discussing you and your status quo with each member. Softly the doll grey curtain of your bunk was pulled aside to reveal your embarrassed expression, Calum inquisitively staring down at you from the height of which he stood. A rosey warmth bruised the high points of your face as there was no doubt that your deposited hearing had been noticed, and so had the joint that you had configured. Cal plucked it up off the carpeted ground as he smirked at the circumstances that you were under, and thus with his sweet brown eyes he convinced you to crawl out of your bed, his large and tanned hand guiding you from the placement of your lower back.

He lead you into the entrance living space of the bus, where Luke was nervously planted, rubbing his painted fingernails gently along his bottom lip and diffusing his instinct to chew on them. With his cobalt eyes he sent harmless daggers towards you, his long legs taking up a length of space on the floor, the opposing limb folded over the knee of his other, his ankle tapping the air as he awaited for the tension to break. “Oh Luke, calm down mate, y/n overheard everything but don’t worry, I could see when she slipped down from her bed ho wet her pretty pink panties were. Isn’t that right sweetie?” Cal squeezed your ass which was facing him, the flirtatious notion making you jump in the oversized shirt you wore; he was embarrassing you in front of Luke, but the other man seemed shy to the appeal that was ongoing before his eyes. “Come on girl, tell Lukey that it was all for him. Tell him that he made you all wet, you could even show him how soaking your pussy is underneath that layer of cotton.”

A whine slithered out from your submissive throat, you felt vulnerable and the butt of the joke that Calum was telling, without the intention of a pun, but admittedly you were loving every second of it. But it wasn’t just Luke that had caused a sweet and slick river to flow between your legs, which was strange considering that he was the one that you liked. The way in which Calum degraded you before him though had you riled up, needy and desperate for someone to touch you, and it didn’t matter which one of them did it. “Y/n…” Luke spoke your name so delicately, there being a a quiet innocence behind his tone. Immediately your head snapped up to ogle at the man, an alert and doe eyed detriment reflecting in your hungry expression. You were all too focused on the blond so that you were late to notice how Cal veered closer to your sexually appealing form, his hand slipping upwards on the back of your thigh, rising up to the centre of all of your desires over the thin cotton that protected your vulnerability from seething eyes that intended to pry at your most intimate parts.

He continued his sly yet indiscreet movements until the pads of his thick fingers were callously prompting across your lightly clothed bundle of nerves, causing staggered breaths from leaving your mouth. It was difficult to focus on only the pleasurable feeling that Calum was making you feel, as Luke’s wide eyes were ogling at your glowing form, his pupils flickering from between your blushing face and where Calum was attending to tease the both of you. He was provoking his band mate, luring him into finally make a move, however he had yet to grow the courage to do so. Luke was in a conflict with his own mind and what his pants desired, he chewed stagnantly on his lip awaiting for the impulse to do something kick in. “Aw Y/N, did you hear him say your name sweetie?” The bassist teased you, withdrawing his hand from toying with you which made you whine from the extraction. He leant his mouth right by your ear, and whispered into it, “wouldn’t it sound better if he moaned it?” And you believed it, and you were even wetter from simply imagining it.

It was as though Calum were hypnotising you, and without your own will to do so, your feet fell in footsteps closer to where Luke was seated, and you succumbed to the cushions of your knees, staring up at the man that you lusted after as Calum stood as your shadow and brushed his fingers through your hair. The notion was a gentle one, until he gave it a harsh tug which hitched your throat back so that you were looking into his dark eyes. “I’ve made you feel good Y/N/N, now why don’t you do the same for our friend?” He was pushing you, convincing you to pleasure the god like adonis whose knees were resting against your collarbones, and you were easily sold. And thus you unbuckled his belt and loosened the tightness until you could slip the leather material out from the loops, feeding the teeth of his flyer to your hands. Without any haste you pulled the zip down, and tugged the tight denim from his upper legs, only to discover that he had opted to go commando that morning.

And by gosh you were enamoured with the sight that was in your face; he was erect and wantonly weeping from his tip for attention, and you weren’t going to deny his famine. And thus you engulfed the head of Luke’s large and veined cock into your mouth, greedily humming from the warmth of skin that filled your mouth. “Oh fuck Y/N!” Luke gasped, his mouth gaping open as he tried to ground his pleasure, and he tousled your hair in his hand. “Fuck, your mouth feels so good.” Each word that he spoke only gaged you to attempt to bring more of his length into your mouth, choking from your efforts. And you only choked more as you felt another pressure again on the back of your head, enforcing you to take more down your throat even though your survival instincts tried to reject the intrusion. “Such a good girl, making our Luke feel good. And you can always make him feel good now you know how he feels about you Y/N/N. This cock is yours to suck, this big fat cock that’s making your eyes water.”

Luke moaned simultaneously alongside you from Calum’s dirty words, the sound of your gagging and Luke’s light and vocalised moans being the distinct sound that filled the room in the tour bus. There was a tight feeling that was pulling from the insides of Luke’s balls, he was getting extremely close and he shocked the both of you when you unexpectedly pulled your lips away from his cock to get air, as ropes and ropes of his white seed decorated your face, the warmth of the liquid bringing you a sense of fulfilment and gratified euphoria. For a moment it felt like it was only you and Luke, taking turns to exhale heavily as you came to grips that this wasn’t just a dream, it was a reality. A hot, dirty and sweaty reality. However everything hit you when Calum released his hand from your head, his voice filling your ears intermittently. “Looking good Y/N. And my work here is done…’ Calum joked, metaphorically dusting off his hands from the gruel that he had to cause to finally bring both you an Luke together.

He slowly vacated the room with little words more to say, leaving you and Luke in your own comforting isolation. “So…?” Luke laughed with the emission from his lungs, stroking your hair away from his cum that still covered your face. “So…” He repeated back to you, a content and calm smile endorsing his features. “Do you want to maybe be my girlfriend? I’ve liked you for a long time, and I never had the guts to say something until, well, this.” You reciprocated his smile, tentatively nodding and forgetting all about the joint that you had been rolling, maybe you wouldn’t need it to feel at peace tonight, because Calum with his sexual interference had helped you come to it. “Okay, we can discuss the details of our first date after we get cleaned up. Fancy a shower?” He teased yet endorsed your interest, and soon the pair of you were off to the small and confined bathroom to get ‘cleaned up’ as boyfriend and girlfriend.

[eitaababe]

SOMEBODY ELSE !

— chapter 16. found out.

a/n — ooh boy

series masterlist. | previous / next

written portion below. —

it wasn't long after you sent the text that ao'nung showed up at your door, confusion clearly written across his face. his hair was messy, red pajama bottoms still worn, an old baseball tee covering his top.

you ignored his disheveled (and really attractive) appearance, remembering why you invited him over. you didn't bother inviting him inside, pissed at the idea that he would keep neteyam's apology from you. "who was at the door that night?"

ao'nung's eyes widened for a split second, before quickly recovering. "it wasn't any-"

"don't fucking lie to me!" you snapped, catching him off guard again. "tell me the truth, ao'nung."

he gulped, refusing to meet your eye. "neteyam was there," he paused, and for a moment you thought he wouldn't say anything else before he met your gaze, dropping his shoulders and rubbing a hand over his face. "he was there to apologize to you."

"why would you lie?" you sighed, exasperated, leaning against the doorway with your arms crossed.

"i don't really know, honestly," ao'nung admitted, his breath hitching for a moment. "i was jealous, i guess."

"you were jealous?" you questioned condescendingly, the boy cowering underneath your gaze. "you were jealous, so you figured you would just try and ruin a friendship between me and a guy i've known since i was 12?"

"he said those things about me, don't forget that!"

"i'm not taking that away from you!" you roared back, anger only rising when he raised his voice at you. "i get you're mad too, eywa, you have a right to be. he said shit about you, granted he chose to believe the wrong person, but he said it nevertheless. but you and me both know he did it out of caution for me, and i defended you anyways. i ignored him for over a week, only to find out just now he was trying to apologize this whole time just because you decided to keep it from me."

he was only quiet throughout your whole lecture, knowing you were right. ao'nung could've gave less of a shit about neteyam saying things about him, he just hated how close the two of you were, especially knowing how you felt about neteyam. he opened his mouth, knowing he was only digging a deeper hole for himself that he definitely wouldn't be able to drag himself out of, but you deserved nothing but the truth at this point. "i'm sorry, i'm so sorry y/n. it's just- i was being irrational. i know how you felt about him, so i kept it from you hoping you'd just move on-"

"do you realize how fucking dumb that sounds?" you cut him off, steam practically blowing out of your ears. "feelings or not for neteyam, he's still my best friend. you don't get to decide shit for me," you argued, standing straight up now. "just get out of here ao'nung, before you make things worse."

you didn't give him a chance to reply before shutting the door on him.

FUN FACTS !

— tsireya heard what happened and is fully ready to kick her brother's ass

— kiri knew something was wrong, it wasn't like neteyam to go that long without apologizing

— neteyam fell out of his bed when y/n texted him

—

taglist #1 / closed ! @n7ytiri @ilovejakesullysdick @possysblog @love-chx @stars4deku @evphology @afro-hispwriter @ydsm-29 @tsireyasgf @goldeneywa @doulcha @krazy-kattzz @fucksnow @squid4 @blairrrrrr @neteyamforlife @dreamtogether2000 @444lyra @ambria @cawi00 @calums-betch @powowowy @fadingpalacebonkpsychic @elegantkidfansoul @kolsmikaelson @mirikusashes @yukichan67 @goodiesinthecloset21 @netemoon @teyums @littlethingsinlife @coconut-dreamz @anm3mi @jjkclub @il0veheartz @liyahsocorro @drugs-for-memes @zendayaswrld101 @grierpilots @misscaller06 @lightskinloak @mommyneytiri @inluvwithneteyam @halibanana @iheartamajiki @ipoopedmypants47 @neigesprincess @lookiiheh @ghostjoohoney @ronalsgirl

[scotianostra]

Crofter Calum MacLeod then aged 63 shoulders his shovel after another days work on the road ... his OWN road on 29th April 1973.

Calum was a Local Assistant Keeper of Rona Lighthouse and the part-time postman for the north end of Raasay.

After decades of unsuccessful campaigning by the inhabitants of the north end of Raasay for a road, and several failed grant applications, Calum decided to build the road himself. Purchasing Thomas Aitken's manual Road Making & Maintenance: A Practical Treatise for Engineers, Surveyors and Others for half a crown.

Over a period of about ten years between 1964 and 1974, he constructed one and three quarter miles of road between Brochel Castle and Arnish, using little more than a pick, a shovel and wheelbarrow. Initial blasting work was carried out and funded, to the sum of £1,900, by the Department of Agriculture's Engineering Department, who supplied a compressor, explosives, driller, blaster, and men.

Several years after its completion, the road was finally adopted and surfaced by the local council. By then, Calum and his wife, Lexie, were the last inhabitants of Arnish.

Rather amusingly Calum didn't drive any further south than Bochel near Tomnavoulin as he never held a drivers licence!!!

Sadly, despite only being completed in the 1980s, the road is already falling into disrepair as it has been left without maintenance

The third pic shows a Commemorative Cairn that reads: "This former footpath to Arnish - a distance of 1.75 miles - was widened to a single track road with passing places and prepared for surfacing by Malcolm MacLeod MBE”.

[ghost-of-you]

do you by any chance have the video for the red desert performance on calums birthday? i need it for a good cause i swear

I do!!! you can see it here, courtesy of @kindahoping4forever, granted the quality of the clips we did get is not that high considering it was surprise performance and the event itself didn't give us any official content, but it is something lapakpakapa

[lovesosweeet]

better left unsaid // cth

chapter twelve

in which orion has leukemia, and calum doesn't know.

calum hood x fem!oc

read other chapters

august 1, 2018 los angeles, california orion

My moms come up from San Diego for my first chemotherapy appointment. While I’m grateful that they’re here, I hate that they’re just another group of people who want me to tell Calum. Emelia is working today. She had offered to take the day off, but since my moms are here, I figured she should go to work.

“Honey, do you need us to take Duke while you’re getting treatment?” Mama asks.

I sigh, not wanting to think about yet another round of logistics. I feel like I’m having to rearrange my entire life because of the diagnosis and Cal being on tour. Granted, I don’t even know how much of my life is worth getting into order. Does it really matter if I take my classes if I’m going to be dead in a year or two? Taking care of Duke does matter, of course, but he’s not a very active dog and I want him here while I’m living alone temporarily.

“No, I can keep him here. He’s already got a lot of changes with Calum gone,” I tell her. She nods.

“Of course. Let us know if you change your mind, okay?”

I nod.

We get ready to leave, prepping a cold bottle of water for me to have, along with a box of crackers and a bottle of fruit punch Gatorade. In the pamphlet that Dr. Harris gave me about my chemotherapy drug, it mentioned that I’d likely be nauseous after receiving the IV of the essentially poisonous fluid. I don’t think that they’ll do much to remedy the discomfort, but I want to at least try to dispel the symptoms.

Mom and Mama insist that I also bring a sweatshirt in case I get cold, and I just do what they say. I am not in the mood to debate anything with them. I bring one of Cal’s to have a piece of him with me at the hospital. It’s not the same as having him there to support me, but it’s the closest I’ll get to it.

We drive the short distance to the hospital. My appointment is at 9:00, but they’d woken up super early to be able to pick me up and take me to the appointment. I got a text from Calum at 3 am when they landed in Tokyo and I’m so thankful he didn’t call like he’d promised. I would’ve woken up and I’m already exhausted as it is. The chemo is about to make it all worse.

I check in at the same desk that I’d come to before, but this time I don’t see Russell. A young, pretty blonde nurse calls me back instead and she explains that they’re doing more tests to provide a baseline while we track the chemo’s progress over the next few months. The tests include another blood draw, and they let me lay down, but this time I don’t pass out thankfully. Once the initial dizziness wears off, we walk down the hallway into another room, but this one is far larger.

There are several sterile-looking arm chairs, some of which have patients sitting in them already, an IV hooked up to them. I am sad when I see the youngest patient is a boy who can’t be more than 9, bald, hooked up to the chemo transfusion, and reading a Magic Treehouse book. He's so young and he's already received a death sentence: a cancer diagnosis.

The blonde nurse directs me to my own chair, which has a table next to it that has a “WELCOME, ORION” sign and a bottle of apple juice and a pack of cookies. Wow, way to make a girl feel special while she's dying.

I take a seat in my chair, and my moms stay right in front of me, even though they have chairs available for guests very much available. Maybe I get it from them — the inability to accept help. I can't imagine that they'll stand there the whole time. We're supposed to be here pretty much all day.

Another nurse comes over with a cart of medical supplies. She's older, around my moms' age, and she greets us with a 'good morning' that I just ignore. It's not a good morning.

"Let's get you started. Any questions?" She's already grabbing my arm and wiping it with a disinfecting cloth, prepping it for an IV. The thought of an IV gives me chills, so I try not to stare as she puts it in and then hooks me up to the drip of the chemotherapy drug. I don't want to think about it.

"No questions," I tell the nurse.

She smiles at me and hands me a remote. "Press this if you have any issues. I'll be back in a moment to check on you."

I try to look anywhere except for the bend in my arm where she just inserted my IV. Mom opens her mouth to say something right as my phone starts to ring. It's Calum.

"Hello?" I answer instantly. I've been waiting to hear his voice. I know it's some ungodly early hour in Tokyo, but I'm sure he's got a completely messed up sleep schedule right now, and that won't be changing for a few weeks until they're consistently in the same time zone for a few days.

"Hi baby," Cal's tired voice comes through my speaker.

"How was the flight?"

My moms mouth to me that they're going to go grab coffee and I nod, appreciating the chance to talk to Cal without them eavesdropping.

"Long and boring. Ash kept snoring for most of it." He sounds so tired. I've never understood how they could tour like they do. The different time zones, constant busy-ness, late nights... it's exhausting.

"I'm sorry."

Cal laughs. "Don't be sorry, you had absolutely nothing to do with it. How are you? What are you doing today?"

My breath catches in my throat. I have to lie again. My stomach sinks and I feel guilty all over again, but I don't have time to dwell on that. I have to tell him something. "My moms are here. Probably just gonna take a short hike and get some food, maybe go to a museum."

I feel like I can hear him frown. "I wish they'd come before I left! I've not seen them in forever. Let them know I say hi?"

I nod even though he can't see me. "Yeah, of course. I'm sorry I didn't think to invite them up to see us before. My brain has kinda been mush lately."

"I know, it's okay. I'm excited to spend Thanksgiving with them again, though," he says. Last year we did Thanksgiving with my family and Christmas with his, since Thanksgiving isn't exactly a thing in Australia. We were talking about hosting his parents and Mali here in LA this year, but we hadn't finalized that yet.

"Yeah, that'll be good."

"Hey," Calum says, which makes me laugh. Why is he greeting me again in the middle of our conversation?

"Hey?" I reply, asking it as a question.

"We're one day closer to me coming home."

I smile at the prospect of having him back home and by my side. "Yeah, what is it? A couple of months ‘til you're in San Diego?" I think I'll still be getting treatment, and I'm not sure if I'll be able to cover my tracks with him being so close to home, but I try to focus on getting through things the way they are right now. He will be home for good in November. I can make it to November.

"Yep, two months. It's October 2nd. Oh! Maybe your whole family can come to the show! Would your moms let Eri come even if it's a school night?" His mention of bringing my brother to the show is cute. My little brother absolutely adores Calum. Actually, my entire family is obsessed with him, and I don't blame them.

"Maybe, I'll have to ask." I know for a fact that they would let Eri come to a show, regardless of date or time, but I'm leery to make any kind of promises at this point.

“Just let me know, I’ll put whoever on the list.”

“Yeah, for sure. How’s Japan? How’s everyone else? I wanna hear all about it.”

Cal then dives into the rundown of their arrival to Japan and going through customs, meeting fans at the airport and finally getting to the hotel. He said Matt is already tired of them, but, to be fair, Matt was tired of them after two days of rehearsals. Ash said that Kay’s grandma is back at home, so I won’t be running into her at the hospital. It hasn’t been a full day since they left but I feel like so much has happened. Hooked up to this IV, my cancer feels so much more real.

“I’m getting sleepy again, so I can let you go. Just wanted to hear your voice.” He yawns and I can only imagine how tired he looks. I'm tired too.

“Of course,” I say. “Sweet dreams. I love you.”

“I love you too. I’ll text you when I wake up again.”

We hang up — I’m not sure which one of us does it first or if we do it at the same time, but it seems like the silence comes instantly. The moment my phone goes quiet, I realize just how freezing I am. I remember the sweatshirt my moms made me bring and pull it out of. my tote bag that's on the floor, just as the two sympathetically smiling faces appear in front of me again.

They're carrying Starbucks cups from the food court, a third one in their hands that I presume is for me.

"We got you some mint tea — it's supposed to be great for nausea," Mama says, handing me the hot cup.

"Thank you," I say, wrapping my freezing fingers around the warmth of the tea.

"How's Calum? He's in Japan first, right?" Mom asks. She ignores the chair that's next to me that she could sit in, instead choosing to squat in front of me with her iced coffee in hand.

I nod and take a sip of my tea. I've always loved mint tea. Cal and I seemed to have a cup almost every night for the first few months of us living together. "Yeah, Japan. He's tired, but he'll be tired for a while."

Mom sets a hand on my knee. "So will you." She's right. I'm about to be drained and exhausted and sick and miserable. She smiles sadly at me.

Just like the drip in my IV, the next few hours go incredibly slowly. I'm so cold the entire time, the staff have to bring me a blanket, and I note mentally to bring one with me next week. My moms were prepared and both brought books to read, one of which they end up giving to me. Scrolling on my phone got old quickly, but I found some photos of Cal and the boys arriving in Japan and enjoyed that.

Once I'm done with my first full bag of the chemo drug, we get to leave. Walking out of the hospital and back into the sunshine is jarring, and I'm still cold, even though it's still very warm outside. My moms drive me back home, but once I'm back in the apartment, they have to leave to drive back to San Diego so they can have dinner with my brother. He'd been at a friend's house all day while they were here.

They offer to order me a pizza or something for dinner, but Emelia and I are planning on hanging out tonight. I know I won't feel well, but Em just wants to be there for me in case I need anything. She'll probably stay the night, too. It won't be as comforting as having Calum, but I will gladly take the company.

A few hours pass while I'm alone, and the nausea sets in quickly. I text Emi and ask her to bring food, even though the thought of eating makes me feel worse. I know I need to eat. I don't specify what she should bring, because nothing sounds good. She just says she'll be here in thirty minutes.

I text Calum in the meantime.

To: bass boy 💕 hi my love hope you're getting some beauty sleep i know i said don't bring me anything but actually can you bring me some kind of Japanese snacks pls i will love you forever and ever and ever i mean i'll do that anyway but i do want some snacks ignore me til you're awake was just thinking and thought of it and wanted to ask hehe oh and i know it's not til the v end but can you pretty pretty pretty please buy me chocolate special k in europe i will remind you dw

I think I've successfully pretended things are normal, and I do desperately miss the Special K in Europe.

A knock on the door is timed perfectly with the end of my texting spree, and I know it's Emelia, hopefully with food.

"It's open!" I yell out, not wanting to move from my comfy spot on the couch.

I hear the door opening and closing, followed by some echoed footsteps, and then Emelia is standing in the living room. She has on her work clothes — black leggings and t-shirt, nonslip shoes on her feet. She's not wearing the hat that they make her wear anymore, but her hair is still up in a messy ponytail.

"Hi, how ya feelin'?" She asks. She also holds up the bag of food she brought. It's the ramen from the place that's pretty close to here that I love.

"Pretty shitty, but I know it's only going to get worse."

Em frowns. "Well, have no fear. I brought ramen, and we can watch Girl Meets World all night."

My jaw drops. Everyone in my life knows how much I love Girl Meets World but judges me for liking a kids' show so much, so no one ever watches it with me. She really is such a good friend, willingly watching something that she knows will make me feel better.

"I love you," I tell her.

Then, she smiles, takes off her shoes, and puts the food on the coffee table, disappearing for a minute. When she comes back, she has glasses of water, napkins, and silverware. Emelia plops onto the couch next to me and takes the ramen out of the bag, setting it up for us.

"I got the curry and the mushroom," she explains. "I wasn't sure which you'd want today. I'm fine with whatever you don't want."

Both are normally delicious, but neither sounds appealing right now. The mushroom broth is lighter, so I go with that, thinking if nothing else, I can just sip the broth.

After a few hours of watching TV and pretending to eat my ramen, I suddenly feel Emelia's eyes on me. She's got a thoughtful look on her face, and I don't know what it is.

"What's wrong?"

She shakes her head. "Sorry, was just thinking. Do you know if you're going to lose your hair?"

I gulp. I'd looked into it. It depends largely on which form of chemo you're on, but also, it comes down to luck. "The drug I'm on is one that doesn't usually cause it, but there's still a chance I might."

Emelia nods, thinking. "Do you want to get a wig? Just in case."

I'd thought about it, but wigs that actually look nice are very expensive. Medical bills are already racking up, and my moms are going to help me, but it's a lot. "No, I think I'll just cross that bridge if I get to it."

"Do you want to cut your hair?"

It's relevant, but it catches me by surprise. I hadn't thought about that. I might lose my hair, but I've had long hair for so long. I've not cut it much shorter in so long. I'm also... dying. Why do I need to have long hair until I die? Why can't I change it up?

Isn't that what life is all about? Doing fun things?

I turn to her. "Let's do it."

I stand up and head straight for the kitchen, grabbing scissors from our junk drawer. I then go into the bathroom, switching on the lights. Emelia joins me soon after I start tying my hair into four sections, aligning the elastics at the same level, halfway between my chin and my shoulders.

Emelia doesn't say anything, she just smiles at me through the mirror and watches while I begin to saw off my hair. I don't know why I'm making such a sudden, big decision, but I've chopped a full ponytail off already, so there's no going back. Leave it to leukemia to stop me from overthinking every piece of my life.

Once I've cut off all the length, I take off the elastics holding everything together and have Emelia help me even everything out. It's not perfect, but if I'm about to lose it, it doesn't matter. If I don't lose it, I'll go see a hairdresser to fix it.

"OK, let me take a picture and then I need to go lay back down.

I take a mirror selfie, covering my face with my phone, just showing the lack of hair cascading over my green sweatshirt. I send it to Cal while I trudge back to the couch, flopping face-first onto the mountain of throw pillows and blankets.

"Want some Tums? Or Pepto?" Em asks.

"No," I groan. Why did cutting my hair suck all of the energy out of me?

"You okay?"

"No."

Em chuckles, and I feel the couch sink slightly as she sits next to me. "Can I get you anything?"

"A new body?"

She snorts. "Can't do that, sorry."

I let out a pained sigh, turning my head so it's not face down on the fuzzy blanket. "Thank you for being here."

"You have to stop thanking me. I know you'd be the first person holding my hand and bringing me food if it was me."

She's right. I'd probably let her move into our place so I could take care of her as much as she'd let me. I don't think she'd take me up on the offer to move in, but there'd undoubtedly be an offer. I'd do anything for her.

"I think I'm gonna sleep," I announce. My phone buzzes several times in my pocket. Hoping it's Calum, I pull it out.

From: bass boy 💕 UM EXCUSE ME MADAM YOU CANNOT JUST SPRING THIS ON ME IT LOOKS SO GOOD GOOD MF MORNING TO ME MY GIRLFRIEND IS A GODDESS can't wait to see it in person <3 and 1000% will get you snacks and special k anything for you

read next chapter

a/n: hi hi hi sorry sorry it's been a lil bit have been slowly working on this chapter :)

[astrid19202]

The club was dark. But the neon lights flashing against your skin as you danced was prominent as Luke watched you with bright blue eyes. Your head tilted back, eyes closed and your lips parted as you sang along to the music and circled your hips. Your sage skirt wrapped around your thighs and strained against the fabric as your hips moved in small circles making his head spin in a way he never felt before. Your black sheer top exposed the peeking of your breasts to him as you turned your body and ran your fingers through your hair in a delicate manner.

His long legs were stretched out while his muscled arms were crossed, intricate black tattoos following up to his shoulders and parts of his neck. A cigarette hung from his lips as smoke fell from his nose like a bull, his ring clad fingers dug into the cushion of his seat as he saw you move so beautifully and sensual.

You had no care in the world for those around you. You weren’t doing it on purpose and had no idea anyone was watching. More specifically him. Such a feared being, but the most pretty thing you’d ever come to see.

Granted, he thought the same thing about you.

Luke was dangerous. He had all the control and power right in the palm of his hand to get whatever he wanted. And right now all he could think about was you, even as Michael, Ashton and Calum tried to get him to join in on their conversation and usual prospects.

Finally having enough, he chucked his cigarette and stood up to the railing that overlooked the club dance floor.

“Who is that” He pointed towards you causing the boys to strain their necks as they looked down to your dancing figure.

Though he figured they couldn’t possible know who you were, the slight chance being slim. If it had been there, he’d be angry for the fact that he hadn’t had the pleasure of being introduced to you sooner.

“I don’t know but she hot” Michael quirked up earning a smack in the back of the head.

“She’s mine”

________________________________________

Your hair flung behind your shoulders as your neck tilted back and exposed the skin while you continued to dance.

But your eyes quickly opened as hands faintly planted themselves on your hips and guided you into a tall figure, their hard chest resting against your back and shoulders.

Looking up, your breathe got caught in your throat as wide blue eyes looked back at you with a faint smirk on the man’s lips.

“H-hi” You spoke out, your lips bitting at your bottom lip nervously as you started dancing with the mystery guy to relieve the nervousness in your stomach from the sight of him.

“Hi” He smiled, pressing your further into his chest as his hands ran down your arms and guided them to wrap around his neck smoothly while you both danced.

Normally, you wouldn’t allow a random stranger to dance with you so easily, as you liked to play alone. But he didn’t seem like just anyone.

And this wasn’t just playing.

Luke wasn’t someone to dance or make conversation. If he wanted to fuck a girl all he had to do was say so and she’d be on her knees in a heartbeat. But watching you the entire night and letting the stutter of his heart beat take control, he realized he had it bad for you already.

There was something about you he couldn’t put his baby blue finger on.

Maybe it was that you came to the club by yourself and relished in your own fun. You hadn’t gone to the bar even once, completely sober and aware. Though still unaware of the man’s attention you stole right when you walked into the room.

“You’re a pretty dancer” He spoke into your ear making your confidence spark up, your hips now taking control as they rolled into him making his grip tighten on you.

“Thank you” You turned around, arms still wrapped around his neck your bodies pressed close together.

“What’s your name?” He wondered aloud.

“Lillith”

________________________________________

It all happens so fast, faster than both your minds could comprehend.

But as you unlocked the door to your apartment, both you and Luke stumbling inside with lips locked, it felt better than anything either of you could imagine.

You whimpered as he placed you against the door, closing it behind you with your back as his hands moved to your legs and up your skirt.

His mouth fell down your neck as your head tilted back, his lips now trailing down to your collarbones and sucking marks like rose petals into your skin.

Even though Luke enjoyed marking, he’d never mark any of his hookups. Especially on the neck. Sure, he’d left hand or fingerprints by accident, but nothing so purposefully intimate.

This didn’t feel like a hookup to him though, for once.

The craving in the pit of his stomach to leave petaling shapes across your skin; neck, collarbones, in between your thighs, was growing.

Kisses trailed lower and lower as his hands pushed your skirt up your hips, his thumbs dipped into the waistband of your panties, but not pulling them down.

His hands kept locked at the sides of your hips as his mouth left kisses between the supple skin of your breasts and his teeth ripping away at the thin mesh fabric of your top.

Your fingers threaded in his hair as your wetness pooled even further with the way he was looking up at you as the fabric was torn.

Hungry.

He sucked and bit at the top of your breasts, before reaching a hand up behind your back where your bra strapped together.

Thinking he’d unclasp it, your chest heaved.

Instead, his perfect nose inhaled the scent of your perfume still fragrant on your skin as he whispered “Bedroom sweetheart”

With a quick point of your finger to the door on the far right of him, you now lied on your back of your plush mattress.

The pad of his thumb was now brushing over your clit through your panties and rubbing making your thighs tremble.

“Please touch me” You begged, your head hanging back as he continued.

“Fuck you sound so good” He grunted as he ripped your panties down your legs and tossed them somewhere behind him.

Typically, he would have teased you until you begged him to stop. But instead, he wanted to hear, see and feel how good he made you feel.

The teasing could happen another time.

His silver rings brushed up your thighs now instead of his lips, leaving you to shiver at the coolness.

He dipped the tip of his two fingers into your wet entrance as you whined quietly.

“That’s it baby, let out those sounds for me” His mouth attached to your clit suddenly, sucking harshly as he pushed his fingers in and out of you.

His other hand lifted your right thigh onto his tattoo covered shoulder, pressing his face into your center with a groan as his cock strained in his pants.

He could cum right now by just the taste of you. He was an absolute goner and it made him feel greedy but he didn’t give a fuck. You were all his and he wasn’t gonna let you or this blissful feeling go. He’s never wanted anyone so badly.

Removing his fingers as you pouted, you quickly recovered from the dismay as he replaced them with his tongue.

He lapped up your juices before diving his tongue in and out, tongue fucking you.

“O-oh god”

Luke spread your legs further apart as he pushed his head further between your thighs with a groan and nibbled at your clit again.

“Tell me you’re mine” His head lifted up to watch you as he stuck his digits back in, motioning them in a way that had you falling into his palm as he smirked.

“I’m yours” You whimpered out, your lips puffy and pouty as he worked you closer and closer to your release.

“That’s it pretty girl, cum for me” He coaxed, allowing his thumb to rub at your clit again as he kissed at your belly. His fingers continued going in and out of you at a pace that made your knees buckle.

“I-I” There it was, your back arched as you cried out, Luke carrying you through your first orgasm as he kissed at your cheeks sweetly.

“C’mere, you okay sweetheart?” Stood back up now, his hands cupped your jaw as he made you look up at him. Luke couldn’t believe it himself with how tender he was being with you, but it felt right.

“Mhmm” You mumbled out.

Feeling dazed in lust, you watched as his tongue ran over his lip ring making you whimper and think about how just moments ago that it had been inside you.

Your own hands took the bottom of your semi ripped top and pulled it off over your head, throwing it to the floor as your shoulders relaxed. You relished at the look on his face.

Luke’s eyes darkened as he took in the sight of your chest, plump breasts peaking above your bra as he groaned and watched the guidance of your hands take it apart.

“Jesus your so beautiful”

Dipping his head down, his mouth attached to your neck again and grasped at your breasts, palming them in his large hands as your back arched.

“Please” You begged, griping at his hair as his head moved lower to lick and suck.

“Please what” He grumbled, pushing his hips into yours to relive the ache in his jeans as he hovered above you.

Maybe he could tease just a little.

His tongue lapped at your breasts, sucking and biting as one of his jean clad thighs began nudging between your legs. The position making your clit brush the material as you whined, beginning to grind against him in a desperate manner.

“Fuck me” You begged, dazed eyes looking into his own as blue eyes darkened.

“Look at you baby, need me that bad?” He teased, watching as you humped at his thigh before sucking harshly at your right nipple and gripped at your neck.

“Yes, yes please fuck me. M’need it”

Before you could comprehend, Luke had managed to have on your stomach with your head laying against your pillows while he kneeled behind you.

His hand spanked down at your ass, leaving a shocking sting to your flesh but nevertheless made you moan out as your fingers gripped the edges of your pillows.

“More” You mewled, loving the feeling it gave as he massaged the sore spot.

“You liked that baby, such a dirty girl huh?”

Grabbing your hips, he dragged you back towards him further, now your knees dug into the mattress while you laid on your stomach.

Again and again his hand smacked down at your ass, the rings on his fingers leaving fresh marks, but you welcomed them with ease as you pushed your ass towards him more.

In this moment, his tattoos were revealed. From his daunting shoulders down to his chest and stomach. His head tilted to the side as he watched your figure whither underneath him with impatience, a few blonde strands dropping above his brows as he smiled.

Having you forever didn’t sound like such a bad thing, especially with the way you were looking right now.

It shouldn’t happen. It’s be a danger to you to be involved someone as himself. But selfishly, apart of him couldn’t bare the idea of not having you around anymore after this. The addiction you gave him, just by the simplest of things, was already too much.

One of Luke’s hands took hold of your hip, pulling you flush into him as his other dragged up your back, gathering your hair in his fist as he pulled making you gasp out as he slid in.

“God damn” He grunted, relishing in the feeling of being inside you.

Feeling impatient, you rolled your hips back, making him hiss before shoving into you roughly.

“Fuck” You whimpered as he began thrusting, his pelvis hitting against your ass in a rough manner as he groaned behind you.

Moans began tumbling from your lips as he pounded into you, your head falling from his grip in your hair as you grasped at the sheets beneath you.

“Being such a good girl for me baby, shit” He groaned, holding onto your hips as he fucked you at a harder pace making your thighs shake.

“Luke!” You cried out, feeling the headboard above you nudge into the wall at the force of his thrust.

The sweet sound of you yelling out his name mixed with the smacking of the headboard spurred him on.

“Oh Fuck”

Only repeated whimpers could leave your lips as your nails dug into the fitted sheets beneath you, the pleasure completely consuming your body and keeping you locked in a spell.

With an attempt to move up the bed, Luke noticed you quickly.

“Uh uh”

The grip he had on your hips tightened as he dragged you back into him, thrusting faster and harsher making you rock back and forth on your knees making you cry out involuntarily. The headboard now smacked into the wall harsher with each dive of his hips.

“That’s it, you asked for it. Fucking take it”

Only your mouth could drop open, a gasp falling out at the roughness, but you loved it.

It wasn’t soft or sweet, it was primal fucking and you didn’t want it any other way.

“please, I-I’m gonna cum” You whined, your head burying back into your pillow as soft panting breaths left your mouth.

“Go on sweetheart, cum for me” He moaned, the thought of you soaking his cock putting a burning feeling in his stomach as dove into you harshly, his own release following soon.

Before you knew it, your orgasm washed over you in a heated wave of fire and sparks. Your eyes falling closed shut as you moaned out loudly, clawing at the bed.

“Fucking hell” Luke grunted, fucking into you for a final time before he pulled out, spanking at your ass harshly and cumming over it.

Both of you panted, the air thick and laced with the aftermath of what’d you just done.

Getting up, Luke walked to the cracked open bathroom door and grabbed a towel.

Back to the bed, he began wiping away at you tenderly before laying next to you. Pulling you into his chest as you settled from satisfaction, you looked down at you realized one thing.

This wasn’t ever gonna stop.

Not if he had a say in it.

[5sosfanfictioncatalogue]

Fic Titles That Start With R Masterlist

r/AITA - @daydadahlias (cornflowerblue (daydadahlias)) michael/luke, calum/ashton, ashton/matt M, 8k

Summary: or the one where Calum wants to know if he’s the asshole for hating Ashton’s boyfriend.

Rare as Gold (ao3) - FalseDevotion calum/ashton E, 230k

Summary: Growing up is hard and scary and you may find yourself lost more often than not. But if you surround yourself with good people, you can always find your path.

ready like i am ready (ao3) - hemmingshoodie michael/luke M, 3k

Summary: michael returns luke a favour.

rebound feelin’ like a rerun (ao3) - lifewasradical luke/ashton T, 33k

Summary: “Alright what the fuck?” Michael shouts, dropping himself down in the open corner of the couch. “What the fuck?” he says again, leaning forward on his knees, staring at Ashton across the room.

Ashton just shrugs. “He left me.”

The lack of emotion in his voice is concerning, completely free of the bubbling laughter and attitude filled charm that normally coats his words. It’s just empty, sort of bitter but mostly void of feeling, like he’s detached himself from the situation completely.

“But why?” Luke finds himself saying.

“He doesn’t love me anymore.”

Rebuild It Like A Vase Or A Shattered Crown (ao3) - RoseAmaranth luke/ashton G, 3k

Summary: Ashton shouldn’t have to be that guy all the time. For everyone else. Just once in his life, he’d like to be selfish. No, he deserves to be selfish. But he’s always had a soft spot for one Luke Hemmings.

Re: Concerning Extracurriculars - @daydadahlias (cornflowerblue (daydadahlias)) calum/ashton M, 3k

Summary: a conference meeting and other consequences of dating (and fucking) a drummer with insured wrists

Red (ao3) - no_clue_who luke/ashton T, 1k

Summary: Luke saw the box of red hair dye in their bathroom. He also saw the bottle of developer sitting next to one of the nice bowls from the kitchen with a plastic fork in it. He also saw the white towel with a single streak of red dye on it.

The red was far too concentrated to be mixed up yet. Luke had time to figure out what was happening.

or how not to dye your own hair.

Red Desert (ao3) - jenlouniverse G, 1k

Summary: First song from CALM: Red Desert. A quest to know oneself a little better and trying to leave the past behind.

Red Light - @daydadahlias​​ (cornflowerblue (daydadahlias)) luke/ashton E, 32k

Summary: Ashton hates strip clubs. Hates them. And Calum dragging him around to them because “good dick mends a broken heart” is not making him hate them any less.

Granted, there is one dancer that makes him think they have potential.

Reflections (ao3) - punchinginadream luke/ashton M, 4k

Summary: Ashton doesn’t like his body. Luke decides to fuck him in front of a mirror to show him how beautiful he really is.

Remembering the summer, it takes me back (ao3) - zephyrusnico luke/ashton NR, 995

Summary: ’Luke looks at the picture of them and he remembers the day it was taken, remembers the days and the memories before and after that day. He thinks about how he remembers the day that has long since been erased from Ashton’s mind, never to be remembered by him again.’

Retrouvailles - @ashtcnirwin (elivigar) luke/ashton E, 36k

Summary: A story about countless small pebbles stacking up to form seemingly impenetrable and unclimbable walls, and the consequences of taking a loved one for granted.

rhythm of the night (ao3) - lourrygum ot4 E, 6k

Summary: It was great when Calum and Ashton finally stopped being dumb and got together but its not so great when the lines between where they can and can’t fuck get a little blurry and Luke and Michael have to endure it

or, Michael and Luke are turned on by Ashton and Calum’s sex sounds and also by each other.

rightfully (ao3) - Calumthoodshands (tndart) Luke/Calum T, 1k

Summary: Luke stared back. “You’re wearing my suit.”

“What, like I don’t good in it?”

Risky Risqué - @daydadahlias​ (cornflowerblue (daydadahlias)) luke/ashton, michael/crystal E, 22k

Summary: It’s only his freshman year in college and Luke is having too many problems. One, he can barely afford to feed himself. Two, the junior in the dorm next door has way too pretty hazel eyes and keeps offering to make him dinner.

Or, the one where Luke needs a job to pay his tuition and ends up getting one as a phone sex operator.

Rollercoaster Ride (ao3) - im_just_a_sucker_for_bromance ot4 E, 3k

Summary: Michael came up with the craziest idea to end their tour; an idea, which he knew Luke would love. Calum had already agreed but there was one problem, Ashton was still reluctant. All he had to do was to convince the stubborn drummer, something he knew he would manage to do easily, and they would end up having the greatest end-of-tour party.

Romeo Take Me Somewhere We Can Be Alone (It’s A Love Story Baby Just Say Yes) (ao3) - Migs michael/luke E, 12k

Summary: “So Luke,” Calum addresses the other boy again “Wanna start a war between New Zealand and Australia?”

OR: Michael, The Crown Prince of Australia, enters Luke’s coffee shop + Christmas AU.

Room 93 (ao3) - princessmikey michael/luke NR, 5k

Summary: Luke and Michael are dating, but Michael’s not ready to come out of the closet, so the only times they can be together are behind the walls of room 93.

Roommates Suck (ao3) - orphan_account calum/ashton M, 15k

Summary: Calum, Luke, and Michael were as close as close could be then Michael moves out to Los Angeles to be closer to his girlfriend, leaving Calum and Luke alone. The two find their way and seem to be thriving as a twosome- until Luke gets engaged and moves in with his fiancee. Calum feels abandoned and suddenly Ashton is in his life. Calum finds himself living with Ashton and as their relationship blossoms, they find themselves helping fix unfortunate events.

Roses Laid upon your Bedspread (ao3) - tigerlily_sunshine michael/luke G, 1k

Summary: Luke didn’t know where to put his feet. It was an odd conundrum, admittedly, but he liked to curl up in bed in as tiny of a ball as his long limbs would let him and sleep the night away. The problem was that he was used to sleeping all alone in his big bed back home. This wasn’t his big bed. He wasn’t alone, and he wasn’t sure if he called this place home yet—if he was allowed to call this place home yet.

(In which Luke sleeps in Michael’s bed for the very first time, but he has trouble with the falling asleep part.)

[thenighthouse]

Aftersun (2022) and grieving what's still there

I'd been saving (read: avoiding) Aftersun because I knew it would make me cry a lot. I knew it portrayed a father/daughter relationship, and that's also a theme that leaves me in shambles. Yeah, no. Nope. I could never be prepared for the reality of what I experienced.

It feels disingenuous to write about something I don't even want to call a movie. Aftersun was like a memory to me — the kind that isn't mine, but one that I lived through in other ways, other places, with someone else. It was the most heartwrenching, painful, beautiful, spiritual experience I've had watching a movie.

Aftersun is perfect because, in its simplicity, the very subject of the film can either ride on or get lost in the viewer's experiences and sensitivities. As someone who's struggled with mental illness from a very young age, as well as been surrounded by people with the same struggles for that long as well, the way we slowly see more and more of Calum's depression was jarring.

The scene where Sophie speaks about being so sad after a good, fulfilling day was when I went "oh." I't such a relatable feeling, why does he seem so taken aback, so worried? So guilty? Oh.

And as we slowly see more of his disdain for himself (crossing the street without looking, standing on the railing), it hurts even more to see how present he is with Sophie. He lives for her! Why would he care about himself when he could dedicate himself to her? Granting her time in the sun, protection, food, live music, a carpet she'll get to keep forever. Why would he care?

I can't help but wonder if part of his hurt was due to how much she openly loved him. Sophie loved her father very loudly. When you loathe yourself, it's very hard to fathom why or how someone else would even look at you, much less like you... love you? That’s ridiculous.

"Happy birthday, Dad."

"Sing for my dad's birthday."

"It’s fine, Dad. No big deal."

The juxtaposition of all the strangers singing happy birthday to Calum (lead by Sophie) and Calum crying, retching alone in the hotel room was genuinely terrifying to me. The whole movie, actually, it's like I was there, a fly on the wall watching helplessly as Calum's pain ate him up from the inside out. Knowing Sophie would eventually be left with a gaping hole in the shape of her dancing, smiling father.

There's truly no words that could ever make this movie justice. I feel like I’m grieving.

The resentment in Adult Sophie’s eyes throughout all her scenes is fascinating because it’s also recognition. She’s sifting through her memories of her dad and picking up on things she now, unfortunately or not, understands. Stuff she feels as well.

I haven't spoken to my father for 6 years. He knows nothing about me, who I am, who I grew up to be. I had just turned 21. I hated him for a long, long time — long before we even cut ties. He made many bad choices, said many terrible things, hurt a lot of people.

I’m 27 now. I don’t know who he is anymore either. As I finished the movie, I felt at peace with him for the first time.

[writteninthesewalls28]

The most amazing sunset

A "Family" one shot

A/n: This work is part of the "be my valentine challenge" by @bemyvalentinechallenge for the day 8 prompt. This is also a one shot from my own fanfiction series that I've been writing for quite some time now.

Summary: Milly and Calum watch the sunset together and get really emotional.

Warnings: mention of death, not proof read

The sunsets during the summer months in Sydney are truly beautiful.

Me and Calum always travel for at least one week to Sydney in December to go and visit all the old places where we made history together.

And one place was the Sydney Harbour Bridge, the place where he first said "I love you". It was always something special to see the sun go down and just experience the moment (and yes, take some photos and polaroids, because… well. I want something to feed my instagram with).

"Isn´t it beautiful?" I said, looking to Calum, who stood next to me, staring at the sun.

"Yeah, this place never fails to make me happy." He responded, not once looking away from the sunny light. "It always makes me feel so emotional. This is kind of where everything started, isn´t it?"

Yeah, it definitely was.

Just 3 years ago, we stood here and I was crying in Calum arms. My mom had died just a few weeks ago and I couldn´t cope with it. He and Louis were the only thing keeping me together at that point. The year before, I went here alone because Calum had been on tour and couldn´t travel to Sydney with me. Probably the most sad and disappointing moment for me during our relationship. This place just doesn´t feel the same without him.

And well. Then there was our first time actually sharing this moment together, our first "I love you", the words I had waited for during the last whole year to hear from him, but didn´t have the courage to say it. We were teenagers. Silly, little teenagers.

But it had been amazing.

"yeah, exactly." I said, responding to his question.

"You know, I never wish to be parted from you from this day on." He suddenly said, looking at me from the side.

I gave him a confused look. Does that mean, he had wanted to be parted from me once?

"I´m so scared, I could loose you one day because of a stupid little misunderstanding or something and I just couldn´t live with the fact that we could not be looking out for each other some day." he explained and I started to understand what he meant.

Most people take the people they love for granted and don´t feel grateful enough for them. As soon as you start working as a lawyer, that often changes because you learn about all these terrible situations some people are stuck in, often involving friends and family. It´s pretty sickening sometimes.

"Yeah, I get that. But you know, it wouldn´t be that hard for you to find someone new to love. You are a famous superstar, women love you." I said, too scared to look at him.

This place does something with you, it makes you reveal secret thoughts you never knew you would ever share with someone.

"no, no, no, no. Please never say that!" Calum said, touching my chin and gently pushing it over to him so I had to look in his gorgeous eyes. "You are the most beautiful woman, I could ever meet. Look at you, your hair, your cutely imperfect skin I love so much… I could maybe get other women, but none of them would be as amazing as you. I wouldn´t want to live without you by my side, Milly!" He sighs and adds: "And by the way, you are also the most brave person I´ve ever met. No one would just go and search for their biological parents on their own. But you do."

He wrapped me in a hug and I immediately felt a lot better.

"I couldn´t live without you, Calum. It feels like I can´t breathe when you´re not around me or I don´t know where you are right now. You make me feel like myself Calum Thomas Hood."

And with that, we enjoyed the last few minutes with the stunning sunlight shining over the Sydney Harbour Bridge and stood there, arms wrapped around each other.

Yeah, I´d never want to be parted from him ever again.

[scotianostra]

Malcolm Macleod of Raasay was born on November 15th 1911, he was commonly known as Calum and is most famous for the road he build, mainly on his own on the Island he lived most of his life.

Calum was the son of Donald Macleod of Arnish Raasay and Julia Gillies of Fladda, he was born in Glasgow, his dad was in the Merchant Navy.

Calum and his mother moved to the croft and house adjacent to that of his grandfather, in northern Raasay. Calum had two brothers, Ronald and Charles, and three sisters, one of whom, Bella Dolly (died in the Spanish flu outbreak in 1919)

Calum attended Torran school, with its single teacher, James Mackinnon (Seumas Ruadh). He married Alexandrina (Lexie) Macdonald (1911–2001).

Calum and his brother, Charles, constructed the track from Torran to Fladda on a small isle off Raasay called Eilean Fladda, which is now uninhabited. I took them three years and were paid £35 a year by the local council.

After decades of unsuccessful campaigning by the inhabitants of the north end of Raasay for a road, and several failed grant applications, Calum decided to build the road himself. Purchasing Thomas Aitken's manual Road Making & Maintenance: A Practical Treatise for Engineers, Surveyors and Others (London, 1900), for half a crown he started work, replacing the old narrow footpath. Over a period of about ten years (1964–1974), he constructed one and three quarter miles of road between Brochel Castle and Arnish, using little more than a shovel, a pick and a wheelbarrow.

Initial blasting work was carried out and funded, to the sum of £1,900, by the Department of Agriculture's Engineering Department, who supplied a compressor, explosives, driller, blaster, and men.

Several years after its completion, the road was finally adopted and surfaced by the local council. By then, Calum and his wife, Lexie, were the last inhabitants of Arnish. Sadly Calum's Road, and those in general on the island are reported to have been deterioating in the past 20 years or so, which is sad........

[lilyevanstan1325]

Leave a comment if you'd like to join my taglist❤️

Pairing: Steve Rogers X OC

A/N:

I don't own any of the main characters mentioned in this story, except for LILY ROSS and her family members.

All other characters belong to Marvel Inc.

The stories do not follow the timeline of the Marvel films. Some characters, places or events do not correspond to the films, I am only granted some "licenses".

Be patient.

Warnings: This story contains mature content, including :

Graphic scene, strong language, kinks, death, violence, sex.

Summary: They both know the truth.

But they love each other too much to accept reality...

What would happen if two people from two different reality fell in love?

Would their love be enough?

What if they are from the same world but don't know?

This is the story of a young girl named Lily whose life turned upside down.

Will she be strong enough to face the truth?

And will her love for Steve Rogers help her?

🔥 Moodboard 🔥

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Epilogue

[ashtcnirwin]

Is it okay if I just keep asking stuff cause I love the way you talk about the guys.

Can you talk about the boys when they were younger and they were first starting out to the growth they’ve achieved to now?

I think it’s so massive how much they’ve accomplished in 11 years!

ofc it's okay! much like ashton, i love the sound of my own voice, so💅 that was mostly but not entirely a joke🧡

5sos' entire story is incredibly fascinating to me, because when they started out as a four piece, they really were just a bunch of kids with a lofty dream. and i say "lofty" because most people who dream about being able to make a living from making music won't ever achieve it. granted, 5sos got lucky when they received a huge and very important push by getting to go on tour with 1d, a push that they likely wouldn't have made it this far, on this scale without, but fact of the matter is still that 5sos is a band that started out before any of the members were even of legal age, luke and calum were pretty far away from being of legal age actually, so the fact that they're still together when they're all closer to 30 than 20 is pretty astounding, it’s impressive as fuck, because somehow all four of them have evolved from teenagers to young adults to adults without turning into people who could no longer find enough common ground with the other band members for it to be possible to keep going in a productive and fulfilling way

not too long ago, i was talking to a friend about how in long term relationships, especially long term relationships between young people, the parties involved will often change and evolve in different directions rather than alongside each other. picture a tree; you start out existing on the same branch, but as time passes, the branch grows new twigs, and one of you might step onto one of those new twigs while the other remains on the original branch, or maybe you both step onto new twigs but separate ones. the result, in any case, is that you end up far away from each other. that's natural, it's normal, but it typically also ends with a breakup. that particular conversation was about romantic relationships between two people, but i think the main point is just as applicable to a friendship between four people. as already pointed out, 5sos were incredibly young when they started out, they were ages away from having become the people they were gonna be for a majority of their lives, they were still at the age where many people change personalities overnight on a weekly basis.

i wasn't around back then and even if i was, i definitely wouldn't have considered this at all, but the thing is that there was never any guarantee that those four little dudes who were each other's besties would evolve and mature into grown men who still have enough common ground to stick with each other, much less still love and trust each other as deeply as they (by all appearances) do. of course you can make the argument that because they to some degree grew up in each other's pockets, that raised the chances of them growing into similar-minded adults. but that type of nurture only goes so far, i’d argue that 1d is a prime example of that, and 5sos have become incredibly different types of people, actually, at least the way i see it, but their differences don't seem to be of the type that drive wedges between them but rather of the type that adds to their dynamics, both creatively and personally.

i also wanna bring back something i know i’ve talked about before, at least once or twice in the tags if nowhere else, and that’s the fact that 5sos have repeatedly chosen each other, over and over again, since the very beginning when calum had to choose between football and the band, and ashton had to choose between uni and the band. even when things have periodically gotten rough for them, even when they had other options for what to do and where to go, they’ve continued to choose each other, they’ve continued to choose the band. at first glance, that might seem like a very unimportant detail, but personally i think it’s of absolute importance, because i imagine that at many points throughout their history, throwing in the towel and parting ways would likely have been the easier path to take while choosing to carry on was a path filled with obstacles.

we, as a fandom, talk a lot about 5sos being soulmates and whatnot, and ashton and calum seem to be into that idea as well, and that’s incredibly sweet, it’s very sentimental. but seen from a more grounded and perhaps cynical point of view, i think it’s important to remember that they’ve likely had to put in a lot of conscious effort over the years to remain close, to become the people they need to be for the band to keep going, to have landed in a place where they have this profound love and respect for each other.

they’ve compared their relationship to a marriage a few times recently, and for most people, a marriage/a long term relationship isn’t easy sailing year after year, it requires hard work to keep the spark and the passion and the love alive once the novelty of it all starts wearing off. if you look at their entire history, from the very beginning in 2011 to present day, i’d say that the road they’ve walked together is very similar to one a married couple might walk; they started out all excited and giddy, everything was fun, nothing was a problem (2011-2015), then things slowly started getting more challenging until they were struggling to keep it going and it started to seem like more hassle than it was worth (2016) but they chose to push through their issues, both personal and professional ones, as a unit (2017-2019), and then came some forced time apart (2020), which seems to have enabled them to grow as individuals and gain a whole new level of appreciation for each other, and that’s where we’re at today (2021 ->)

ashton said earlier this year that choosing to be in the band is a daily choice he makes, and if we assume that the other three share that mindset, i gotta say that i find that incredibly fucking beautiful, because i can’t think of a greater love declaration than someone basically saying “loving you and what we have requires a continuously active effort, it’s not always easy, but i still choose to stay”

they’re no longer the bright eyed, naïve, easily exciteable teenagers they were when they started the band, they’re far more tempered, calculating and realistic about things these days, but rather than letting the reality of life and what it means to grow up weigh them down and kill their passion and their desire to keep 5sos alive, it seems to me that they’ve taken all the hardships life has thrown at them and turned them into valuable lessons that they’ve utilised to grow as individuals and strengthen their relationship as a group. they’ve said themselves this era that they’ve never been stronger as a unit than they are now, and it shows🌻

[let-the-bands-take-c0ntrol]

12 Days of Holidays: Day 7

Calum HoodXFemale Reader

Warnings: pure fluff, winter weather, dating apps, crowds of people, tinge of angst

The music was loud and yet you couldn’t focus on the group that was performing on stage. Your mind drifting towards Calum and the weekend you had spent with him and his friends. It wasn’t necessarily a real kiss you had given Calum, but it had been enough for the two of you to act a bit awkward around one another. His messages became less frequent after the ski trip and you found yourself missing the conversations you two had. Granted holidays were approaching fast, and he was probably busy with family stuff, but you haven’t even received a random meme or “hey” from him. Maybe you were wrong to think there was something more between the two of you. 

“I say you should just get back on the dating apps,” your best friend, Mika, shouted over the music. She slid a mug of spiked apple cider over to you, and bumped your shoulder with hers. 

“Yeah you’re right,” you sighed, already pulling out your phone to dust off your old dating profile. Your gaze scanned over the room as you deleted a few pictures to replace them with newer ones. “This group isn't so bad,” you mumbled. Mika nodded in agreement, glancing over your shoulder to peek at the pictures you had chosen. 

You found yourselves at the holiday festival a lot in the past few days. There were things to do and each night was something new. Tonight the city had decided to go all out with food vendors, art walks, and a stage for people to show off. Local groups from all over were performing and even some of the people weren’t musical talents. There were around twenty rounded tables surrounding the area of the stage and you and your friends had claimed one smack dab in the middle. You were happy to finally have a calmed down day. Between ice skating, holiday parties, and skiing, you were starting to get drained with this holiday season. You were starting to warm up to this time of year and it was all because of Calum, now you weren’t so sure. 

“What about him?” you questioned, showing your phone screen to the few of your friends that were listening in on the conversation. 

“Oh definitely a fuckboy. Look at that pose!” one of your friends laughed. You swiped left, muttering comments under your breath. After a few minutes everyone else got bored with your task, their attention turning towards the stage again. You could see a few of the men on the app in the crowd around you. The idea of meeting any of them around now would just be mortifying. Your eyes widened in surprise when you came across something you weren’t expecting: Calum’s own dating profile. An uneasy feeling washed over you and you clicked on his profile out of curiosity. You knew why you were back on the dating app, but for some reason seeing Calum’s own profile made you upset. You two were single, and you weren’t together so you knew you shouldn’t feel this way, but yet you did. 

“Fuck it,” you muttered to yourself, swiping right on his profile. You liked Calum and since you two hadn’t been talking for the last few days there was no harm in you wanting to match. And you did. I had only taken a minute for you to get a notification on it and your heart began to hammer in your chest when you received a text message from Calum. 

Are my eyes deceiving me or did we just match on a dating app?

Another message came through and it was the emoji eyes. You couldn’t help but laugh at his message. Taking a second to collect your thoughts before responding back.

Actually my finger slipped, I meant to swipe left. . .

You placed your phone in your pocket, choosing to play a bit with Calum. You weren’t going to allow him to get off that easily. He was the one to have left you on read to begin with. “I’m going to roam the food trucks, you want to come with?” Mika asked, getting bored with the magic act that was currently going on. 

“Food sounds great,” you replied, feeling a multitude of buzzes in your pocket. 

Ha ha, you’re so funny. . .I’m glad we matched though

I wasn’t sure how to ask the last time we hung out, but since we matched it gives me the chance. Do you want to go on a date? 

Shit, did I misread our encounters? 

Y/N?

You shook your head in amusement. Calum’s cool was cracking and you could tell from the messages. Normally you were quick with replying to messages, so you knew he might’ve been on edge when just two minutes went by from the first text he had sent. 

Sorry, I’m out at some festival. So our matching wasn’t just coincidence? 

Course not-so what do you say?

[be-ready-when-i-say-go]

A Little More Time With You for a Calum fic bc you haven’t written for 5sos in a while 😊

Hi! Thanks for this!

Hmm--I feel like I could really ring the angst out for this one (because of course everything I write is angsty) . But I'm lowkey obsessed with this idea of two people who know the relationship is failing but don't want to let it go because they're too stubborn or too scared to let it go.

But I do think in a fic like this I'd want to write from Calum's perspective. He's opening up the photo album that he stored all the selfie's, memes sent, photos, screenshot of tweets. It's all about the relationship though. He's supposed to be clearing them out. But instead he ends up swiping through them all, remembering the context for each of them.

The photo taken at the beach where it rained on your picnic and crabs and seagulls stole bite of your food. The meme you sent of a couple arguing nose to nose with each other and giggling. You'd captioned it, "Next time we get angry with each other. We're doing this." All it had done was make the two of you giggle until your sides hurt. He has pictures from all the times you changed your hair or got it done. Pictures of you in store fitting rooms unsure of what to get. One picture is you showing off a pair of jeans with paint splatter on the thighs. you'd asked if it gave "too much I'm always in the pain section of Lowes and not enough I sit on the deck to paint" Calum told you to get them anyway because they'd be great for "the one thousand paint jobs you'll do on the office until it gets done right". He has pictures from when you met his parent, joined the guys on tour, dropped lunches off during recording sessions. There are so many fucking pictures.

I envision this fic in a lot of flashbacks. So each time he swipes it's a new memory to the audience but an old memory to Calum. Broken up by the date the photo or video was taken or sent before it dives into the full context.

But at the crux of this is Calum's hestitation. You were looking for more than he could give and Calum wasn't going to hold you back. Not someone like you. So the two of you agreed to spend one more night together. You were already in the process of moving out. When Calum was at the studio, but right before he'd get home, you'd leave work, pack up a few more boxes of stuff and head back to your apartment. The only signs that you'd been in the house were in the distant lack of something cooking or the aroma of take out and the holes in the closet and drawers and bathroom from where your stuff was steadily disappearing.

He was trying to clear out everything so that after tonight when you left in the morning, with final boxes, it'd be out of his system. But he couldn't hep but think that he'd always want jut a little bit more time with you.

He almost texts you not to come over. That it wouldn't be a smart decision, but by the time he works up the courage, you're ringing the doorbell. You hadn't given back your key yet. Not until all your stuff was gone.

Calum realizes it's been two and half hours of him swiping through the memories. He thinks as he locks his phone he can give a clean slate tomorrow, delete everything after the last night. Because right now his wish is granted. He's got one more night.

-H

Send me a fic title and a fandom (that I've written for) and I'll tell you what I would write!