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lightsong-legacy · 4 years

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A Fox’s Past

Lost.

‘This information may change your…..’

Angry.

‘She was not what she said she was.’

Betrayed.

There were swarms of emotions filling the young woman, finding herself not within her Isle home but instead within the walls of her adopted family to hide out the legions of undead that were running rampant within the major cities. But, she couldn’t get her mind off of the events of the last few weeks. Meeting her ‘cousin’ Annalise and learning of the true past of her birth mother weighed heavily as she hid with her twins behind the walls of Lightsong. Something both of her adopted mothers could see quite clearly.

It came to a head after they found her brooding once more in the garden as the twins were kept busy in the nursey with their ‘grandmother’ Lys. “Lya...If you need t-” Casial started, only to be shushed by Asphodel’s raised hand. “Callyanne. What is it you need to feel peace again? Even the twins can feel you drawing away and becoming stuck within your own thoughts. Do you need us to ease the memory from your mind? Do you need to go fight with the guards for a time to get this out of your system? Or do you need closure? Be swift. During times like this, we cannot afford to be stuck within our own sorrow.” Asphodel’s voice was a bit clipped, distant but she knew it was what her daughter needed at this moment. She didn’t need to be coddled or consoled, but instead reminded of what was at stake and why they needed her here. Not within her thoughts.

The clipped tone made her blink a few times, turning to regard the two elves. They were the ones who were there. Who raised her patiently and lovingly through the traumas she endured. Who were there when she needed them through all her mistakes and growth. But even they could ease the grip she felt on her heart. Before she could think on it too much, the words came tumbling from her lips. “I need to go back. I need to see my old home and just...I need to understand -why-.” But the request felt impossible. How could she go back there? A home lost to her so long ago, she wasn’t even sure where she would start looking. Knowing the forest had long reclaimed that land if the undead had not utilized it.

“Then it is settled. I will have a portal made, it is not a place I would have forgotten. Get in your armor and take your blades, if you get killed searching for your answers I will be very cross with you.” Before she could be argued with, Asphodel turned on her heel and headed towards her office to begin her work. Casial giving Lya an apologetic smile. “She’s worried, we all are Callyane. But, perhaps this will be good for you. I too had to return home before, to remember where I had come from and what my purpose was. We will be here when you’re ready to move on.” The Confessor softly assured, resting a hand on her adopted daughter’s shoulder before moving to follow her elder sister to assist how she could.

Dumbfounded, Lya was standing there for a few moments, watching the elves make their way out of the garden before they disappeared behind the roses that lined the path. Was this really happening? Was she really going home? The grip at her heart grew tighter, what if she found out more that was distressing? What if she lost herself? What if their bodies were still…

No.

Her ma was expecting her to be ready soon and it was never wise to leave Asphodel waiting. So instead she prepared, moving first to the nursery to check in on her twins. The five year olds playing under the doting gaze of their ‘great’ grandmother Lys. The elven woman settled her gaze on Lya as she came in to say her goodbyes and explain she was just leaving for a few days on business, but would be back soon enough. Earning pouts from her son Dawson though Casilyn set her with a stare that did not seem to accept the reasons she was given, but she didn’t question. At least not yet, as Lya gave Lys her bravest smile, that was returned with a slow raise of an eyebrow from the elven matriarch. “Remember, we all have to make choices at times my dear little orchid. Sometimes it is best to just accept and move on.” The older woman advised, of course seeming to know all that happened within the walls of her home. Of course, the emotional woman wanted to argue, but she had long learned that at times it was best to just smile and nod towards the Matriarch. Arguing with her was always a losing battle.

Giving the twins one last kiss, she slipped from the room and headed back to her own. Her mind flooded with thoughts and fears as she moved to pack and prepare. The old armor clinging to her like a well fitting glove, blades familiar in her hands before she slid them into their sheathes. Now was the time. It was a time of answers. To dispel the shadows and confusion of her childhood and to uncover what she could. She knew it was unlikely anything would be there, but she had to try. Lya had to at least know that she gave it her best effort to find the truth before she would let these thoughts ease in her mind once more. Casial was no longer within the workroom when Callyanne arrived, instead it was just Asphodel and the spell circle she had prepared with a box in her hands. “Sometimes, when we go searching for answers. We get answers we are not prepared for, or that we did not want.” The woman stated in a neutral tone, brushing her hand along the box before offering it to the human. “If you feel you are ready to face that, and willing to accept whatever answer you get. Open the box within your old home. It will help you further. But, if you go there and you are unready...Then bury it, and with it bury these emotions that cloud you.” And with that she thrusted the box within her hands causing Lya to fumble to hold the dark wood close. She could feel a thrum of magic from within the darkwood. It made her shudder with unease, but she knew better than to question the magic Asphodel offered. “When you’re ready to return home, you know how to reach me. Now, go. Before you lose your nerve.” A wave of power filled the air around them, arcane sparking around the spell circle until a portal formed within. “Ma…” Lya started, earning a withering look from the older elf who was so sure that her daughter was about to chicken out once more. “...No matter what. Thank you, for everything.” That withering look softened at Lya’s words, but the young woman made her way through the portal before either of them could say much more. Leaving Asphodel to watch the magic flicker out, the grip on her own heart lessening just a tad. She would be here, waiting for when her daughter needed her, no matter how long it took.

Travelling by portal always left Lya feeling lightheaded and sick, biting at her cheek to keep herself from the urge to just collapse as she found herself in the woods. For a moment, she thought perhaps her mother was wrong, that she had sent her to the wrong place. Still clutching that box close she spun, trying to get her bearings when she noticed the cracked and half broken chimney and the dilapidated house it was attached to.

The sight stole the breath from her lungs as if she just took a punch straight to the gut.

It was home.

Her home.

The remnants of what had been the posts for clotheslines knocked astray, the chimney crumbling and the front door knocked askew. There were no signs of undead or bodies around the cottage that The Matthews had called home, though that did not stop her from slipping into the shadows before she drew closer.

There was the tree her father had hung a swing from, and the bench that Lysian had gotten proposed to at. The sight of such places in disrepair was almost enough to drive her to tears, but she was on a mission. She needed answers and not just a trip down memory lane. Finally taking a deep breath and swallowing down her fear, Lya made her way into her old home. And it was like a time capsule, untouched in all the years she had been away. Her mother’s favorite cast iron cookware still hung on the walls yet rusted from neglect, the table covered with dark blue tablecloth sporting more holes than cloth nowadays. Moving to the center of the room she just sat down, clutching the box Asphodel had given her as she looked around a place that used to be filled with such light and laughter. A home that welcomed all, carefully created by Lyn Matthews and pondered if she was really a woman who would have kept that big of a secret.

Would she have kept her children from a whole family of support? And if so...Why? “Why…Why would you be out here? Of all places, why run from your own family? Annalise does not seem bad...You had brothers, a mother and father. What would drive you to give all that up?” The young woman asked the shadows, but not even the wind stirred to answer her.

But, was she really ready for any answer she would receive? Could she accept it if the loving mother she had known was truly a selfish woman who abandoned her family?

There was only one way to find out.

That box thrummed in her hands, and only seemed to grow in power as she sat there, lost in her own thoughts. Usually magic like this would terrify Callyanne. But, at this moment, her need to know outweighed the fear in her heart. Her hand shook, gripping the lid until she grew white-knuckled before prying it off…

The first thing she felt was cold, unimaginable cold as an unnatural darkness filled the room. Lya felt her back against the ground, her gaze up at the stars above visible through the holes within the thatch roof of her childhood cottage. Was it a trap? Some sort of lesson that at times you just need to be knocked on your back to get your head in order? She was thinking of some choice words for her adopted mother about using magic like that just to scare her before a voice made her grow pale. “My little fox…” A soft pained voice whispered, her tone loving yet sad as it held an unnatural echo to it. For a moment she could not move, she couldn’t even breathe until Lya finally forced herself up to sit and in front of her on the ground sat the ethereal image of her mother. Her auburn hair twisted up in the no nonsense bun that Lyn had always wore, a simple gown with an apron on her form and prayer beads wrapped around her wrist as always. “Momma…” Lya’s voice cracked, tears beginning to freely spill as she stared at the older woman. “Momma....Momma I’m so sorry. I’m sorry I was such a shite child, and I put you through so much pain. And that I was never...I was never able to make you proud. I couldn’t keep Matthias safe either, I lost him Momma. I lost him and its all my fa-” Before the guilt ridden words could leave her, the ghost of her mother drew forward, bringing a hand up to shush her youngest. “Hush...Hush, I didn’t raise you to talk about yourself in that way.” Lyn whispered, trying to console her daughter the best she could. “None of my children were shite, as you so lovingly put it. You all just grew in your own ways. And you were never meant to be your brother’s keeper Lya. He was your elder sibling, and while it pains me, I made my peace long ago. The important thing is that you’re alive. You are alive and you have a loving family and beautiful children. You cannot keep blaming yourself for the past Callyanne. You were just a little girl, and we asked so much of you when we told you to run. I asked so much of you...To see the magic you held, and to know I chose to let you learn it your own way instead of helping you with it. That is a regret I have to live with. That if I had trained you...Maybe you would not have struggled for so long. If I had just gotten that letter out in time…” The woman sighed, leaning closer and resting her ghostly forehead against Lya’s. “We don’t have much time. This magic will not last forever, but in time, if you grow your skills you can learn ways to talk to me when you need me. But, for now...I will try to answer the questions you came here for.” Her words made Lya pause, that hand around her heart gripping tighter even as her mother tried to soothe her. “Trained me...Regret...Does that mean...That you..” “Yes Cally...Your cousin is correct. I am a Harlowe. Anastasia Harlowe by birth.” Her words were soft, but it didn’t ease the blow that came to Lya. “Did father kn-” “Yes...He knew, I had explained my past to him before we married. But, to him it didn’t matter. I was Lyn now, I was his Lyn.” Speaking of her husband brought a soft, bittersweet smile to the spirit’s lips. “But, why...Why hide this from us?” “The truth is never so easy to explain Cally. Your sister knew, but you and your brother were not old enough...I had planned to say something by the time you two were ready to strike out on your own. But, we didn’t get enough time. And even now...My time is limited. Just know, there is darkness in the house my little fox. But it doesn’t always hide in the shadows. I loved my family, with all I was. But, I could not support the choices they made, so I had to take my leave. I wouldn’t let them choose my destiny for me. Instead I followed the call of the Light and trusted where it took me. But, you have allies there, there is one person who knew of you. Who knew where I was, but I can only assume he thought us all dead when he never heard from me again. Solomon, my eldest brother and knight of the House. I wish I could tell you more. I wish...I could give you all my knowledge and help keep you safe. But even now the magic wanes.” Her form began to slowly fade in and out, the magic that had been held within the box beginning to fade. “No...No mother please. Please don’t leave. I can’t...I have so much more to ask. I..” Once more, Lyn rested her forehead against Lya’s as tears ran down the young woman’s face. “Momma, please don’t leave me again. I’m scared…I’m so scared…” And with that, the resolve was broken, and even the spirit seemed to weep. “You’re scared, because you’re smart Cally. My little clever fox...Go under my bed, there is a lockbox. I know now that you should be able to open it. My diary can explain more, and the letters...Just know. I am so proud. So proud of you. And I will always love you little fox. We all will always be here, and we will always love you.” Her words began to ebb off, even as Lya seemed to desperately try to grip onto the spirit, only to fall through and be left gripping the dust on the ground. A wail left her, uncaring of who or what might hear. It was the keening of a woman who felt her loss all over again, to have someone she loved and missed for so long, only be here for the briefest moments. Though her questions were answered, she knew Asphodel had been right. It wasn’t the knowledge she was worried that Lya couldn’t handle, no, but instead it was the knowledge that their meeting would be brief. It was knowing that the grief would come back fresh once more, and the fear that Lya wouldn’t be able to gather herself from it again.

But, she had grown stronger in the past few years. Though she keened and screamed her grief to the heavens, mourning once more the loss of the childhood she was robbed of, and the family ripped from her grasp.

Several moments later, the woman finally picked herself up from the ground, the tears dried to her face as she moved past the broken door to her parents room. The room where she would snuggle up with the loving pair reading her passages from their holy texts, or putting on shadow puppet shows for the siblings to distract them from storms that raged outside. The memories felt empty as she reached under the bed to find the lockbox her mother had mentioned. Her hands gently tracing along the cedar box and the fox insignia carved into the top. The box that would give her all her answers, and that would shed true light onto the messy history of Anastasia Harlowe...Lyn Matthews, and all those steps in between. Sitting on the ground, she took her time opening the box. Revealing at first a choker necklace, a cameo with the image of a dancing fox that held a locket. Inside were the image of a couple on one side and two similar looking men on the other. While the faces seemed familiar to Lya now, she couldn’t quite place them. So for now the necklace was placed aside revealing a letter addressed but never sent. And that name her mother had mentioned written on the envelope.

Solomon.

Trembling fingers moved to grip the letter opening the seal and peering inside;

My dearest Omen,

I hope this letter reaches you in better conditions than we are having here. Rumors of plague are running rampant and even Henry fears that things may find their way out of control soon enough. I am writing this in hopes that you may be able to help. I know it is a lot to ask, especially with how I left things with Alley-cat, and everyone else and it puts you in a strange position. But, you are the only one I trust. I have already explained everything to my oldest, the other two. They don’t know the truth yet, but in time I hope you can explain it fair better than I could.

My little Callyanne is showing gifts in shadow magic that remind me of the magic of our family. It scares me, and I keep telling myself I will explain things to her and guide her. But, I scare myself into not doing it each time. I don’t want her to lose herself but I fear that training her might draw the attention of one of our brother’s people.

Bah, but here I go, rambling again and getting off topic. As their godfather, I want you to take in my children. Lysian will send this letter out once her and the children get to a safe place and add the location of where they are hiding. With luck they may find refuge with some of my husband’s elven allies. You would like them I think, the husband trains spellbreakers. I pray that this letter reaches you well and in time we can all be reunited. Henry and I just know that the children will be safer far from here instead of having to watch us assist with these trying times. I know you’ll love your nephew, he has a strong presence on the training grounds as you did when we were kids.

And Cally will steal your heart and your dessert tarts before you know it, so watch out. She’s a slippery one, but such a caring young girl. I fear you may be wrapped around her finger in no time as you were to me when we were young.

Just...If this is to be my last letter. If things do not turn out the way I pray. Just know that I love you Solomon. I never blamed you or held you at fault for why I had to leave. And what happens next is not your fault. Sometimes, stories just have to come to an end. Just please, please watch out for my children. Perhaps I did them a disservice, trying to raise them with compassion and grace instead of teaching them to strive for strength. Perhaps the world will try to drive their compassion from them.

But, don’t let this world break their spirit. I beg this of you.

And don’t let the loss of me break yours either.

With all my love always,

Anastasia Harlowe

By the time Lya and finished reading the letter, she could feel fresh tears on her cheeks. Her mother had prepared, she had wanted to get them out. But, it was too late. Before they could leave, the undead were upon them. And in the chaos, the plan was abandoned.

But, this was not her letter to keep, and if there was one thing Lya could do for her mother. It was at least to get her last thoughts to the person she wanted to have them. Finally, her hand moved to a bell at her ear, a spark of magic coming from it as Asphodel stepped out of a portal shortly after, offering a hand to her daughter on the ground. “Did you find what you needed Lya?” The elf asked in a softer tone than before. “I think I did Ma...I think I did…” She placed the contents of the box back, taking it with her as she took her adopted mother’s hand and let her draw her into the portal and back home. The next morning, a simple letter was drafted and sent out to Solomon with her mother’s final letter attached.

‘Honorable Solomon,

You don’t know me, though we’ve seen each other in passing within the Crow’s Nest. I know you may have suspected or heard from Annalise, but let me officially say that.

Yes. I am Anastasia’s daughter. My mother’s true past was hidden from me all my life, but now I have found my peace and how to move on from it all. I hope that this letter can offer the same to you. I found it amongst her things, and felt that she would want you to have it. Even now.

I hope we can truly meet sometime soon.

Respectfully, Callyanne Matthews’

@annaliseharlowe @solomonharlowe

#Callyanne Matthews #Family Secrets #House Harlowe #IC #Solomon Harlowe #FEELS

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