#CRYING......heritage ask to ME

[rpfisfine]

hello ive just gotten into idat and boyboy and you seem to be the most active account i can find and i know this is a stupid question but i actually cant tell are they gay and in love or is it just a bit and they have wives or some shit😭😭😭😭

IM ACTAUULY DYING.....MY CHEST IS CAVING IN....... it's not a stupid question at all its sth that plagues and haunts pretty much everyone who has ever watched at least one single video by them and i think this comment on the "are we gay?" buzzfeed quiz video on patreon in particular rly sums it up:

but yeah jokes aside in all seriousness they aren't actually gay (sad.) and are a self-proclaimed pair of "average straight friends" or whatever who also happen to be housemates. but i am convinced they are in love tbh like i honestly dont think that part is a bit at all. also they said once that their relationship is like that of a "conservative straight couple, scared of having sex with each other". and they don't have wives and aren't really actually confirmed to be dating anyone either at least at the moment but some of us just kind of collectively assume that they both have girlfriends however the possibility of them being single is equally as likely. im so honored you chose to seek answers on my blog which is, yeah definitely the most active one to put it extremely mildly youre right. i hope this answers your question at least a little bit although to be fair it probably doesn't i'm sorry

[cranberrylane]

bought the first volume of the spy x family manga in my heritage language bc i have one (1) class in said language and have not used in it formal contexts for so long i feel like writing assignments in it will be scary & reading helps me the most so i'm starting with something light before i read Actual Texts 😭

[taroet]

i'm thinking about my boy nathaniel winters a lot lately

[umabloomer]

I got a job at a Ukrainian museum.

On the first day someone asks me if I have any Ukrainian heritage. I say I had ancestors from Odesa, but they were Jewish, so they weren’t considered Ukrainian, and they wouldn’t have considered themselves Ukrainian. My job is every day I go through boxes of Ukrainian textiles and I write a physical description, take measurements, take photographs, and upload everything into the database. I look up “Jewish” in the database and there is no result. 

Some objects have no context at all, some come with handwritten notes or related documents. I look at thick hand-spun, hand-woven linen heavy with embroidery. Embroidery they say can take a year or more. I think of someone dressed for a wedding in their best clothes they made with their own hands. Some shirts were donated with photographs of the original owners dressed in them, for a dance at the Ukrainian Labour Temple, in 1935. I handle the pieces carefully, looking at how they fit the men in the photos, and how they look almost a hundred years later packed in acid-free tissue. One of the men died a few years later, in the war. He was younger than I am now. The military archive has more photographs of him with his mother, his father, his fiancé. I take care in writing the catalogue entry, breathing in the history, getting tearful. 

I imagine people dressed in their best shirts at Easter, going around town in their best shirts burning the houses of Jews, in their best shirts, killing Jews. A shirt with dense embroidery all over the sleeves and chest has a note that says it is from Husiatyn. I look it up and find that it was largely a Jewish town, and Ukrainians lived in the outskirts. There is a fortress synagogue from the Renaissance period, now abandoned. 

When my partner Aaron visits I take him to an event at the museum where a man shows his collection of over fifty musical instruments from Ukraine, and he plays each one. Children are seated on the floor at the front. We’re standing in a corner, the room full of Ukrainians, very aware that we look like Jews, but not sure if anyone recognizes what that looks like anymore. Aaron gets emotional over a song played on the bandura. 

A note with a dress says it came from the Buchach region. I find a story of Jewish life in Buchach in the early twentieth century, preparing to flee as the Nazis take over. I cry over this.

I’m cataloguing a set of commemorative ribbons that were placed on the grave of a Ukrainian Nationalist leader, Yevhen Konovalets, after he was assassinated. The ribbons were collected and stored by another Nationalist, Andriy Melnyk, who took over leadership after Konovalets’ death. The ribbons are painted or embroidered with messages honouring the dead politician. I start to recognize the word for “leader”, the Cyrillic letters which make up the name of the colonel, the letters “OYH” which stand for Organization of Ukrainian Nationalists (OUN in English). The OUN played a big part in the Lviv pogroms in 1941, I learn. The Wikipedia article has a black and white image of a woman in her underwear, running in terror from a man and a young boy carrying a stick of wood. The woman’s face is dark, her nose may be bleeding. Her underwear is torn, her breast exposed. I’m measuring, photographing, recording the stains and loose threads in the banners that honour men who would have done this to me. 

Every day I can’t stop looking at my phone, looking up the news from Gaza, tapping through Instagram stories that show what the news won’t. Half my family won’t talk to the other half, after I share an article by a scholar of Holocaust and genocide studies, who says Israel is committing a genocide. My dad makes a comment that compares Gaza to the Warsaw Ghetto. This gets him in trouble. My aunt says I must have learned this antisemitism at university, but there is no excuse for my dad. 

This morning I see images from Israeli attacks in the West Bank, where they are not at war. There are naked bodies on the dusty ground. I’m not sure if they are alive. This is what I think of when I see the image from the Lviv pogrom. If what it means for Jews to be safe from oppression is to become the oppressor, I don’t want safety. I don’t want to speak about Jews as if we are one People, because I have so little in common with those in green uniforms and tanks. I am called a self-hating Jew but I think I am a self-reflecting Jew.

I don’t know how to articulate how it feels to be handling objects which remind me of Jewish traumas I inherited only from history classes and books. Textiles hold evidence of the bodies that made them and used them. I measure the waist of a skirt and notice that it is the same as my waist size. I think of clothing and textiles that were looted from Jewish homes during pogroms. I think of clothing and textiles that were looted from Palestinian homes during the ongoing Nakba. Clothes hold the shape of the body that once dressed in them. Sometimes there are tears, mends, stains. I am rummaging through personal belongings in my nitrile gloves. 

I am hands-on learning about the violence caused by Ukrainian Nationalism while more than nine thousand Palestinians have been killed by the State of Israel in three weeks, not to mention all those who have been killed in the last seventy-five years of occupation, in the name of the Jewish Nation, the Jewish People — me? If we (and I am hesitant to say “we”) learned anything from the centuries of being killed, it was how to kill. This should not have been the lesson learned. Zionism wants us to feel constantly like the victims, like we need to defend ourself, like violence is necessary, inevitable. I need community that believes in freedom for all, not just our own People. I need the half of my family who believes in this necessary “self-defence” to remember our history, and not just the one that ends happily ever after with the creation of the State of Israel. Genocide should not be this controversial. We should not be okay with this. 

Tomorrow I will go to work and keep cataloguing banners that honour the leader of an organization which led pogroms. I will keep checking the news, crying into my phone, coordinating with organizers about our next actions, grappling with how we can be a tiny part in ending this genocide that the world won’t acknowledge, out of guilt over the ones it ignored long ago. 

[lacamorte]

~ notice me

Where Shen Yuan managed to strike a perfect balance between caring teacher and strict, distant immortal, and Binghe grows into his demon heritage and acquires his harem, but has no interest in revenge and has no feelings for his former Shizun besides warm affection and kinship for one of his best friends. However, somewhere along the line, SQQ figures out that he has feelings for LBH, and kinda just resigns himself to his pining and tells no one. Instead, he writes an awful lot of poems and songs — pieces so beautiful that word of them reaches past Cang Qiong. Some say the songs were so lovely that they quelled even the worst qi deviations. Some say that an ordinary human couldn't withstand them without weeping inconsolably. Some even tell of cultivators visiting the mountain just to be graced by Shen Qingqiu's soulful melodies.

Eventually rumors of Qing Jing's lovelorn Peak Lord reach Binghe's ears. In true best friend fashion, he visits and makes SY breakfast and drags him out of bed to eat, before asking about the rumors.

SQQ looks at him quietly, before putting his head on the table and watching him silently. Binghe sees the melancholy in his eyes and assumes someone broke SQQ's heart. So he spends a lot of time trying to get a name, because gasp!!! Who dares break the Demon Emperor's best friend's heart? His gege is a catch, and he'd gouge out the eyes of anyone who dared to disagree. He asks Shang Qinghua, but even the squirrelly man refuses to tell him anything, insisting that it's not his secret to tell.

So LBH resolves to come back every day to badger SQQ (and feed him). SQQ stubbornly tells him nothing, of course.

Until one day, LBH is a little late for their little appointments and looks for SQQ. He finds him in the bamboo forest, seated on an elevated ledge overlooking the rest of the Peaks. He's playing a song, a guqin perched in his lap, delicate fingers strumming the strings as gently as one would skim the surface of water.

LBH doesn't realize he's crying until he tastes salt on his tongue.

[babyleostuff]

HEYYA! I AM SO MUCH IN LOVE WITH YOUR WRITING

could you write an ot13 acting all cute and all soft with their significant others <3 🥺🤍

seventeen being soft for their s/o | ot13

CHOI SEUNGCHEOL 

𓆩♡𓆪 no shocker, but Seungcheol would always be touching you in some way - whether it be a hand on your waist, his head resting on your shoulder, or him playing with your fingers 

𓆩♡𓆪 and he’d be especially soft and cuddly after a long day of work

𓆩♡𓆪 so, after he finally gets home, the first thing he does is to find you, and attach himself to you for the rest of the day/night 

𓆩♡𓆪 his voice would be no louder than a whisper, his eyes fluttering shut from exhaustion 

𓆩♡𓆪 Cheol would look up at you, from where he was lying between your legs, his head on your chest, and ask you to play with his hair 

𓆩♡𓆪 he would nuzzle his face further up your neck, and place gentle kisses there

𓆩♡𓆪 and a quiet “I love you” would be the last thing he’d say before drifting off to sleep

YOON JEONGHAN 

𓆩♡𓆪 I’m a 100% sure Jeonghan is able to stand up for himself, like, that man can destroy people with words 

𓆩♡𓆪 but for some reason I can see him get totally soft over his significant other who tries to defend him, in whatever situation they may be in 

𓆩♡𓆪 like, sometimes he doesn’t even see a point in fighting someone - he just doesn’t care, but if his precious partner would stand up for him, he would melt

𓆩♡𓆪 he’d grab you by the arm, and link your fingers together, silently trying to calm you down and tell you that he’s okay 

𓆩♡𓆪 and he’d look at you with a lovestruck expression, giggling at your angry face, not quite believing in how protective you were of him 

𓆩♡𓆪 he’d also peck your lips as a silent “thank you”

HONG JOSHUA 

𓆩♡𓆪 Shua is a very loving person, and as one of the older members, he usually takes care of the other boys, sometimes forgetting about taking care of himself 

𓆩♡𓆪 “baby, have you eaten yet?” “you really should go to sleep, it’s so late” “text me when you land, have a safe flight! love you lots.”

𓆩♡𓆪 he would internally cry whenever you’d do anything remotely caring towards him, which makes you always so confused, because ??? you’re his significant other, of course you’re going to take care of him 

𓆩♡𓆪 for some reason he never expects people to take care of him in return, but it always makes him feel so soft and appreciated, so he cannot help himself but to pull you into a gentle hug, swaying you from side to side 

WEN JUNHUI 

𓆩♡𓆪 Jun is obviously very proud of his heritage and where he comes from, but he would never try to force his culture onto you, or expect you to learn Chinese for him 

𓆩♡𓆪 so imagine his surprise when one day after coming home, you asked about his day in Chinese

𓆩♡𓆪 he wondered if he was just hearing things due to his tiredness, so he asked you to repeat yourself, and you, more shyly this time, asked the question in Chinese again

𓆩♡𓆪 even though your accent was rather bad, and it wouldn't be really understandable to any other person, he couldn’t believe what he was hearing 

𓆩♡𓆪 with a wide grin on his face, he’d grip your shoulders, and more so bump your bodies together than anything else, caging you in a hug

𓆩♡𓆪 at first you wouldn’t be able to tell what made his act so, but he would quickly explain that it was all because of your question 

𓆩♡𓆪 he would make you repeat it for the rest of the day, following you like lost puppy, kissing you every time you did so

KWON SOONYOUNG 

𓆩♡𓆪 Soonyoung obviously has his random outbursts of energy, and when he gets into that headspace, no one can stop him 

𓆩♡𓆪 there are people that can’t keep up with him (the iron deficiency line), and even though he doesn’t mind it at all, he cannot help but melt whenever his significant other matches the level of his energy and craziness 

𓆩♡𓆪 when he notices you joining him in his antics, and acting as crazy as he does, doing random stuff out of nowhere, it makes him fall in love with you even more 

𓆩♡𓆪 he’d stop whatever he was doing, and look at you like you were the only thing in the world 

𓆩♡𓆪 and when you’d ask what he was looking at, Soonyoung would shake his head and grab your face in his hands, kissing you all over your face 

𓆩♡𓆪 “you’re a crazy person, you know that?” “yes, but I’m your crazy person.” 

LEE JIHOON 

𓆩♡𓆪 work is one of the most important things in life for him, not only because it’s his, well work, but it’s his hobby and life passion as well 

𓆩♡𓆪 and you being something he cares for dearly, makes him feel so full of love and melts his heart, whenever you ask about his work and the songs his working on, with a genuine interest 

𓆩♡𓆪 like, you actually care about what he’s working on - you’re not asking because you feel obligated to, but you really want to know 

𓆩♡𓆪 and he would explain everything with a gentle and patient voice, a shy smile on his face, fighting the urge to smother you in kisses 

𓆩♡𓆪 that’s how you’d spend the night - Jihoon, explaining and showing you his work, and you watching him

𓆩♡𓆪 slowly, as it got colder through the night, you’d scoot closer to each other, cuddling and ending falling asleep under one blanket 

JEON WONWOO

𓆩♡𓆪 although he’s usually very competitive when gaming, he would lose a game on purpose just to see you smile 

𓆩♡𓆪 I’m not a gamer, so maybe I’m not the best person to talk about video games, but I feel like you have to be quite good to beat him, so it wouldn’t be a surprise if you’d lose one game after another

𓆩♡𓆪 even though you wouldn’t verbally state your frustration over losing that many times, Wonwoo would quickly notice your change in behaviour, and the lack of a smile on your face 

𓆩♡𓆪 and he could not imagine a worse thing than his baby being sad over a stupid game 

𓆩♡𓆪 so, the next round he’d try to go easy on you, still winning, but giving you a bigger chance of beating him (if he lost immediately, you’d probably know that he did it on purpose) 

𓆩♡𓆪 but with each game, he’d do worse and worse, and thus letting you win one round 

𓆩♡𓆪 and no game can equal with the happiness that surges through him when he hears you cheer in victory, and how you hug him (probably as a thank you, because you still knew that he lost on purpose)

XU MINGHAO 

𓆩♡𓆪 our fashion icon Xu Minghao would go completely soft over you in his clothes

𓆩♡𓆪 it wouldn’t even have to be anything extravagant or expensive, you could be wearing one of his shirts and a pair of boxers and he’d swear you’re the most beautiful being in this world 

𓆩♡𓆪 insert *heart eyes* whenever you’d incorporate something from his wardrobe into your outfit 

𓆩♡𓆪 especially if you were going out together, he’d love the fact that even a little statement piece would show that you were his and his only (not in a possessive way, he’d find it more cute than hot)

𓆩♡𓆪 Hao would try to tease you sometimes, but the second you mention “okay, I won’t borrow your clothes anymore then” he’s clinging to you and saying how it all was only a joke

𓆩♡𓆪 plus, seeing you in his hoodies during autumn and winter makes him go nuts

KIM MINGYU 

𓆩♡𓆪 cooking dates are a must in your relationship, whether you’re good at cooking or not 

𓆩♡𓆪 Gyu loves spending this time with you, not only because he get to cook which he loves, but he’d finally get the opportunity to spend some quality time with you 

𓆩♡𓆪 but because he’s such an affectionate person, and he loves hugs and cuddles, most of the time, he’d wrap his strong arms around you, caging you in a warm back hug 

𓆩♡𓆪 and that’s how he’d follow you around, you’d waddle around the kitchen together 

𓆩♡𓆪 Mingyu would talk to you in a soft voice,  telling you how much he loves and appreciates you, kissing your neck or cheek

𓆩♡𓆪 other times, he’d place you on the kitchen counter doing all of the cooking himself, making you laugh because of his sillines (he’d act like a dummy just to hear your laugh, he loves seeing you happy)

LEE SEOKMIN 

𓆩♡𓆪 you wouldn’t even have to do anything in particular, and he’d coo at how cute you were 

𓆩♡𓆪 your presence makes him all soft and fluffy from all of the love that he’s feeling, like, sometimes he can’t fathom that you’re really his

𓆩♡𓆪 and that he gets to hold your hand, and kiss you, and cuddle you???

𓆩♡𓆪 you’d have to be blind to not see the way he was looking at you, his gaze always warm and full of love

𓆩♡𓆪 Seokmin would love to squish your cheeks, and give you forehead kisses, but not before telling you how much he loves you 

𓆩♡𓆪 and sometimes when he wouldn’t be able to contain all of those emotions, he’d simply tackle you in a hug, squeezing the life out of you 

BOO SEUNGKWAN

𓆩♡𓆪 Seungkwan loves your voice, whether you like it yourself or not

𓆩♡𓆪 he could listen to you talk all day, without getting bored, and for some reason you had the ability to keep his attention on you 24/7

𓆩♡𓆪 one day when he came home, quietly taking off his shoes, he could hear one of their songs playing from the speaker in your kitchen, which wasn't something unusual, but he had to stop in his track when he heard you suddenly sing

𓆩♡𓆪 Seungkwan stopped around the corner, because he knew that you'd get shy if he walked in, and you would definitely stop singing

𓆩♡𓆪 he could feel his heart swell with love, and he couldn't help the smile that appeared on his face, as a warm feeling settled over his body

𓆩♡𓆪 he slowly approached you from behind, wrapping his arms around your waist and put his head on your shoulder

𓆩♡𓆪 after a while, he started singing along with you

CHWE VERNON

𓆩♡𓆪 as a non-cooking member, he’d always appreciate when people made food for him, especially if it was coming from his significant other 

𓆩♡𓆪 “hey babe, what are you doing?” “oh, just dinner for you. I’m making your favourite.”

𓆩♡𓆪 cue heart eyes and a melting heart 

𓆩♡𓆪 he would always try to keep  you company, and help you in case you needed it (although he’d rather stick to telling you funny stories from the rehearsals, and making you laugh)

𓆩♡𓆪 after eating he’d silently thank you with a sweet kiss to your lips and a shy “i love you”

𓆩♡𓆪 also, the next day he’d buy your favourite snacks and candy to make up for the fact that you had to cook for him (not that you minded), and you’d eat it together while cuddling on the sofa and watching a movie (probably shrek)

LEE CHAN 

𓆩♡𓆪 once, Chan caught you dancing to one of their choreographies, and he thought his soul would leave his body because of how cute and adorable you were 

𓆩♡𓆪 he could see how concentrated you were, trying to get all of the moves right, and if you did something wrong you’d huff under your breath, sending your boyfriend into a cardiac arrest 

𓆩♡𓆪 he’d sneak up behind you and place his hands on your hips, gently guiding your body and showing you how you were supposed to execute the moves 

𓆩♡𓆪 and there wouldn’t be anything sexual about it, he would seriously coo out loud, because to him there couldn’t be anything more precious than his partner trying to learn one of their choreographies 

𓆩♡𓆪 Chan would constantly be kissing your cheeks and lips, telling you how good of a job you were doing 

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[missstar489]

you know, looking back, "Trouble at the Town Gate" and "Agatha vs. The Jagers" are probably the two sections I end up the most excited to come back to during a reread and i think i just figured out why

Agatha in these moments is starting to embrace her heritage, both halves of it, and use it in her own way

"Hanging Jagers in Town" is always a treat since Yay! Da Boiz! But Agatha, on account of not wanting to blow cover with her big fancy new legacy, doesn't react much. But that night when Jinka attacks to cut Da Boiz down in "Trouble at the Town Gate", thats when she first consciously and willfuly uses the Heterodyne legacy to her advantage by making the Boiz sware on it to do exactly as she says. Dimo commenting that what she did was very smart, Maxum calling her Mistress so quickly, then the Boiz doing just as she asked without any additional damages reinforces to both Agatha and the reader that she did exactly the correct actions to be a Hero and a Heterodyne (especially when you reread and realize what she said and how she said it echos the ritual of the JagerBruw!!!)

By "Agatha vs. The Jagers" she not only feels comfortable enough in her Spark to keep Fuging infront of them but also safe enough around them to bap Maxums hat (which by now she is well aware how important a hat is to Jagers) and also get all Mad Girl right back at Maxum snarling simply because they are bothering her. Once again Maxum reinforces that this was the correct action by imeditly backing off, kneeling, and calling her Mistress again. Then once they explain what they are here for and why they are here and not with the Baron we get to my favorite moment:

Oggie crying on Agatha.

Why is it my favorite moment? Because she holds him (a big scary Jager!), she lets him cry (lets him be weak!), and she only hesitates for a surprised half second in reasuring him that she Is real.

That moment, that "I-I Am" , is when she becomes The Heterodyne to both Da Boiz and me.

Her projection in Sthatlehime, Showtime, the taking of The Castle, the Doom Bell, and her declaration on the roof are all great moments of her asserting her status as The Big Loud Dangerous Heterodyne Spark!

But they don't capture how shes gentle in ways other Heterodyne's wernt, how much she loves whats hers and how much they love her back

For Love and Loyalty you know?

[genderqueerdykes]

apologies if this is not the place to do so, but I need to talk about being biracial. I deal with a sort of anti-whiteness where I feel genuinely disgusting for not being just black. I feel like a traitor to the black community for having white heritage too and have thought about darkening my skin to hide the traces of a part of me I wish wasn't there. It's like. A sort of racial dysphoria and I don't feel like an adequate black person. It gets really distressing sometimes when I remember my skintone is caused by partial whiteness. Have you ever dealt with this too? I know it isn't an experience unique to me to feel not POC 'enough', but it gets so intense for me that I resent the people responsible for my birth.

i do get where you're coming from, and this is an okay thing to vent about

the unfortunate thing about being mixed race is that there will be people on both sides that will be upset with you- you will encounter white folk who find you too black, and black folk who find you too white. colorism is a big problem and comes from both ends of the spectrum. unfortunately, for whatever reason, interracial relationships and biracial children can really set people off and it's not exclusive to white people. i have unfortunately seen other black folk absolutely tear into mixed black people, especially if they're light skinned. i think what happens is folks start seeing you as a white person masquerading as something you're not, when it couldn't be farther from the truth.

one of my friends for the longest time was white and afro-latino (honduran), and his own family and friends would tell him that he was basically only a white person, despite the fact that his skin was light brown, he had an afro, black facial features, and a black dad who had no white relatives. he himself literally told me that he viewed himself as entirely white because he wasn't "black enough". i felt so sad and angry for him but i didn't know how to word it at the time. i wanted him to be able to be proud of all of the parts of himself, but instead, literally his own friends and family were berating him telling him he wasn't black enough to be proud of that part of himself. every time he told me that he was "too white" to consider himself black, i just wanted to cry. he used to ask me to massage his scalp and help trim his hair. i remember how beautiful his afro was, he took very good care of his hair. he had so much to be proud of and people guilted him out of it.

i feel this as well, i have a hard time wanting to consider myself a person of color at all because folks focus so hard on skin tone. the thing is, when people are biracial, they can look like ANY possible combination of traits from their parents and relatives. sometimes, an interracial black and white couple will have children that look entirely black or entirely white. my neighbor is an older white woman whose current partner is black, and they have a black son. if i didn't know she was white, i wouldve assumed her son had 2 black parents. he doesn't look mixed in the slightest

i have more white in me than i do black, as my father was also mixed, so its hard for me to speak with confidence about this part of myself without feeling like i'll be judged, especially considering that i have not been in the same room as my father in over a decade, and before that, i was not allowed to see him for years due to my parents having a nasty divorce. it took until i was going through a photo album at my sister's house that i saw my dad again for the first time in years and realized he was not white. when i had asked my mom if my dad was black as a child, she told me no and that he "just has a white guy afro".

i went through a lot of gaslighting about being mixed, and i still do. people focus only on my skin tone, and especially how light my face is. it makes me super hesitant to speak about this part of myself, even though i've met other extremely light skinned mixed people. another friend of mine is mixed white/Mexican and he was even more pale than me. he was constantly profiled as just white, but when he would go home at night, his Mexican mother only spoke spanish to him, and he spoke it back just fine. whenever people looked at him they assumed he was 100% white and it really opened my eyes to how diverse mixed people can and do look.

sorry for such a long response, but i just wanted to say that i feel you. it's hard. there's pressure on all sides. there will be white people and black people alike that will feel like you're a "traitor", as if you controlled the people who made you. you had no hand in who gave life to you- these are factors beyond your control, and you don't deserve to feel like an outcast and like you're doing something wrong

you can't control your genetics, nor can you predict what genetics someone has just by looking at them. i'm sorry youve been made to feel this way, but i hope it gets easier for you. i know it's tough to feel like an outcast or a bother on all sides. you shouldn't have to feel like you're stepping on someone's toes just because you were born mixed. you deserve to live a life where you are proud of who you are. i hope things get a bit easier for you soon

[bunnyinfoxclothing]

Obedient Exorcists Part 2

Part 1 | (you are here) | Coming soon eventually!

Vaggie is happy with who she has become. She genuinely likes the push and pull relationship that she and Charlie have. Except the extermination days still get in the way.

Old orders are hard to disregard. She sits there and pretends the sounds don't bother her. Except that's not true. They bother her. And Charlie knows they bother her. And Charlie wraps her in a blanket and holds her, whispering sweet nothings.

Charlie remembers the day she found Vaggie. And knows the trauma is still real, but Vaggie does so well, despite the trauma. She goes outside all the time. Has no issues with the location of her injury, both on her body and in the alleyway. Charlie will ask if she wants to go on a walk and Vaggie can't say yes fast enough.

Vaggie is still obedient.

And on extermination day when she is shivering in Charlie's arms. It's not fear, but in innate need, she wants to go outside. Wants to see her sisters, show she can still do her job, but Charlie says stay inside. And against her oldest orders. Against the actions ingrained into her very creation. She listens. Charlie says let me hold you. So she does. Charlie says it's going to be okay. But she doesn't believe her.

When the truth of her angelic heritage comes to pass. Charlie makes a mistake. She doesn't realize the creature of obedience and the chains that Vaggie has tied between them, born of pain and self blame. She doesn't realize that she holds the very leash that holds Vaggie down. The leash that Vaggie handed over the same day she found the moth sinner left for dead in the alley. Before any true trust could be formed.

Charlie tells Vaggie she doesn't want to see her.

It's a moment of high emotion. Charlie is crying and trying to run to their room as Vaggie struggles to explain. Stuttering over herself, looking for the right answer. The right order of things to say to Charlie. What Charlie wants her to say. Anything.

And like a switch was flipped, she just stops. She lets Charlie go. Her jaw snaps shut with an audible click at Charlie's words and she watches as Charlie escapes, not moving until the audible slam of their shared door.

Vaggie doesn't do anything. She decides she has put her emotions too far into things. Just like with the boy. She let her heart rule over her obedience and it has messed everything up. So she decides orders are the only thing that matter from here on out.

She doesn't eat until the other residents knock on her door telling her they made food.

Her door because she no longer shares on with Charlie. Her door, because she had to go to Husk to get a new room key. Her door, because after a single night, she opens the door to find Dazzle with a suitcase full of clothes and basic hygiene products.

She doesn't sleep until someone points out her eye bags. She doesn't shower until Angel practically drags her into the nearest bathroom.

Look Vagina, if you're going to go through a fuckin' depressive episode with your girlfriend, promise me you will at least shower twice a week. And I swear to fuck if at any point I can smell you, I'm grabbing the kitchen scrub and i'm going to see how long it takes to skin an angel.

Showering becomes her only constant.

Then there's the deal.

Vaggie watches as green cracks form in the walls. Her heart sinks as she watches strange sigils appear in the air. She feels Husk stiffen next to her and hears the string of curses that leave Angel's lips.

Vaggie has failed totally and completely in every way.

Every vow she had made to protect Charlie, both physically and emotionally. Everything. Her smiles. Her dreams. Their relationship. She had vowed to protect Charlie in her purest form, her soul.

Vaggie runs in. Because despite everything. Despite every vow she's made, despite what the very fibers of what her soul is made of. She still isn't good at obeying.

Charlie and her lock eyes.

She's prepared to face Alastor. Her spear is light in her hands and righteous fury burns in her chest. One more kill means nothing in that moment.

But Charlie stops her.

And the look Charlie gives her changes everything.

Charlie has always been taller than her, but Vaggie knows this is the first time Charlie has ever looked down at her. She is left rooted in place as Charlie follows after Alastor. And for once, she keeps her mouth shut as to how much she distrusts him.

___

Charlie has sent her to the angel killer. Carmilla Carmine.

Charlie has judged her. And just like Lute. Just Like Adam. Just like all of Heaven. They all agreed. Vaggie is not enough.

So Vaggie walks her death march across the pentagon. She spends her time looking back on her whole life. Every mistake she's ever made. And by the time she gets to Carmine Industries she feels calm about her own death.

She has a soft smile as she knocks on the door with all the gusto that Charlie has grown to love. Demanding an audience with Carmilla. If she is going to die, she wants to go with a smirk on her face. If she has to face judgement again, she wants to have this very same courage again. Courage to give them the middle finger and walk backwards into hell. So she could continue to serve Charlie as a sinner. So she can continue to serve Charlie in a body that is more appealing.

Except she doesn't die. And Vaggie is almost offended. Almost angry. She is beaten and knocked around and she can feel the laughter of people she can't see. People that she's not sure are even real.

She takes the bruises. And is gifted her wings. She feels the weight of them on her back and can only feel disgust. Carmilla invites her back for another lesson, whenever she is free. Vaggie accepts, though in her head, there is nowhere else she would rather not be.

With the knowledge of how to kill angels and with Carmilla filling out the paperwork for their order, Vaggie considers using the solitude to ground herself permanently.

All it would take was a quick slice and nobody would know. Charlie would never know. All she would have to do is lie to her.

Guilt twists in her heart, screaming at herself for the thought ever crossing her mind.

Carmilla's daughters and a few of their workers help to bring all of the weapons to the Hotel.

She tucks her wings as far into her back as she can, she feels a slight tension at the action. Then it feels like a pulled muscle. Then like a bone on the verge of being snapped. Then it feels all too familiar and her wings spread to a more comfortable position.

She hopes she has enough time, to get back to the hotel.

As she reaches the entrance, she knows she's not so lucky.

[liesandmischeif]

The ties that mend

Loki x reader

Masterlist

Notes: This is an old one I found, a little angsty but fluffy as hell at the end.

Warnings: I don’t think so??

The moment you step in the flat, you know it’s too quiet. Something’s not right.

“Loki?” you call out, hoping that your boyfriend has just gone out, and that the quietness is just him having nipped to the shops.

No response.

“Loki?” you call, wandering through the downstairs rooms. After coming up empty handed, you decide to make a cup of tea and go and get changed, thinking Loki must’ve just gone out. He would’ve called you if it was a mission, or if he had an emergency on Asgard. He would just be back in a bit.

It wasn’t until you went to open your bedroom door that you heard him… sniffling?

“Lo?” you called out before walking in.

He was sitting on the edge of the bed, looking right as rain. “Hello my love,” he says, getting up to greet you “how was your day?”

“My day was fine, thank you. More to the point, how was your day?”

He just shrugged. “Slow”

“Riiiight.” You weren’t buying it. “Anything interesting happen?”

“Not really. Why do you ask?”

You just shrugged. “No reason. Wanna help with dinner?”

 

The rest of the evening went as usual. You had both made dinner, watched another episode of your favourite Netflix series, and had just settled into bed. You were virtually on the verge of falling asleep when you heard Loki sniffing next to you.

“Lo? Are you ok?”

“Fine.” His voice trembled.

You rolled over. “Darling, what’s wrong?”

He rolled away from you. “Nothing. I thought you were asleep.”

You sat up and turned the lamp on. “My love, just tell me.”

You could see the tears in his eyes now. He looked distressed. “My love, I am perfectly fine. Please, just go to sleep.”

You didn’t know what to do. To pressure him into telling you felt wrong, but you couldn’t just leave him like this. So you did the only thing you could think of.

You lay down next to him, you wrapped your arms around him and nuzzled your head in his neck. He tensed at first but eventually relaxed a little, although you could still feel his apprehension in the air. So you kissed his cheek, and whispered to him, “It’s ok. I know you don’t want to tell me whatever it is right now. If I’ve done something wrong, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you. And if you just don’t want to tell me, that’s ok too. I love you, and I’m here for you, and I’m still going to love you no matter what.”

That was all that was needed to open the floodgates. Loki turned and sobbed into your shoulder. He clung to you like you were the only solid thing in the universe. Like you could save him from whatever he was crying over. He just held you tightly until eventually the storm passed and he lay limp in your arms. You reached across and grabbed a tissue from the nightstand, and Loki blew his nose.

The two of you lay there together, side by side in each others arms. Eventually, Loki speaks up,

“Darling?”

“Yes my love?” you say.

“Did you mean that? About you loving me no matter what?”

“Always.”

His grip on you loosens. “May I tell you something?”

You look up at him. “Of course.”

He takes a breath, then mumbles “ I am no longer a prince on Asgard”

“What?” you question. “How is that possible?”

“A multitude of reasons” he says ”One, because of me trying to take over this place. I’m not as popular as I once was, and Asgard cannot have an heir who is renowned for his genocide attempts. Two, because people found out about my heritage. I am not as pure blooded as Odin claimed I was”

“How do you mean?” you asked.

He looked away from you. “I am a frost giant. I have another form that looks more like some of my ancestors, which was accidently unveiled in front of the palace staff. Since then, my reputation on Asgard has been... tainted.”

“O, my love I’m so sorry.” You said, wiping the tears from his face. “Asgard was your home, it’s not fair.”

“Doesn’t matter.” He said. “I’m not like them”

“May I see?” you ask tentatively.

He looks bewildered. “Why would you want to?”

“Just curious. You don’t have to show me, I just wanted to know.”

“I find that very hard to believe.” He states. “Especially given that it is the cause of all this.”

“Of all what Lo?”

He sighs. “I am sorry to burden you with this darling.” He looks away. “the Jontun blood in me means that I cannot produce heirs. Like when you mate lions and tigers, or horses and donkeys. The species are to far apart, and cannot breed. Asgardian and Jontar mixing cannot create fertile offspring. It’s the legitimate reason why I can’t remain a prince” he finishes miserably “Because I am not even scientifically possible. I an a genetic mistake.”

You wrap your arms around him tighter when he tries to leave, but you don’t say anything.

“I’m sorry.” He says.

You stare up at him. “What are you sorry for?”

“My love, don’t you understand.” He says “I’m not a prince. I can’t give you titles. I can’t give you a palace, or any of the luxuries that my brother could afford you. I can’t even give you children.” He was crying again “I’ll never be able to give you the family that you deserve, never be able to have children of my own.” He goes to leave. “You deserve better than me, so much better, and I’m sorry to have wasted your time all these months but I just didn’t realise-“

“Loki, I don’t care about any of those things. I care about you.”

He stares at you. “What?”

“I don’t care about titles or palaces, and I certainly wouldn’t rather have Thor, no matter what luxuries he has. I would love you as whatever you’d want to be, prince or not. Whether you’re Jontar of Asgardian, I don’t care.

“And as for a family, if that’s something we decide we both want, there are other ways of having children. I don’t think of you any less for not being able to have kids, and I certainly don’t think of you as less for having obscure parents. None of that is your fault, and it’s not for you to try and take the blame for.”

You just hold him while he takes everything in. You press gentle kisses to the top of his head, until eventually he stops crying, and mumbles out a “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“Being there. Putting up with me. Loving me.” He says. “I thought that this would be it for us”

“I meant what I said. I will always be here for you, and I love you no matter what.” You say. And you both lay there, until you fell asleep in each other’s arms.

[eco-lite]

Finally making more progress on the pile of ST books I own but have yet to read. Here’s some good stuff from The Vulcan Academy Murders by Jean Lorrah.

[Image ID: The cover of the book The Vulcan Academy Murders. The background has lots of dark purple tones. In the foreground, Spock stands with a phaser pointed at a Vulcan creature with green skin, a cat-like face, a fin down its back, sharp claws, and a long tail. The creature is hissing down at Spock from a rock. End ID]

First of all, what is going on with this cover? Nothing like this happens in the book.

[Text ID: “Kirk recalled that all male Vulcans were married—had to be—and glanced at Spock. His First Officer, however, was very busy inspecting the almost un-touched wine in his glass.” End ID]

Interesting interesting. 👀

[Text ID: “Kirk had been given Spock’s room (underlined red by me) and McCoy the guest room in Sarek’s house—a house far from anything Kirk would ever have imagined as the home Spock had grown up in. He had envisioned either a sterile, unadorned ‘environment,’ or a castlelike ancestral residence. Instead, the house on the outskirts of ShiKahr was a simple single-family dwelling.” End ID]

This book is way too casual about Kirk sleeping in Spock’s childhood bedroom. Also, there’s no mention of where Spock is sleeping while they’re there???

[Text ID: “He remembered forcing Spock to control his emotions when he was five, and his schoolfellows taunted him for being ‘different.’ Under his father’s tutelage, Spock had refused to cry when the others shut him out of their games, calling him ‘Earther’ and ‘half-breed.’ Amanda had hidden her tears from their son, and Sarek had hidden his anger. Or had he? Perhaps I directed it at my son instead, he realized. He had intended to prepare Spock for whatever lack of acceptance he would face in life. And the message Spock received was that his own father did not accept him as he was, had to mold him into something he deemed acceptable.” End ID]

We love reflecting on our past mistakes. 👏🏼 We love character growth. 👏🏼

[Text ID: “’A computer cannot lie,’ said Spock. ‘Nevertheless, this one is giving false information.’ ‘Why don’t you try playing chess with it?’ came a voice from the doorway. Sarek turned to find Leonard McCoy, bouncing on his toes and grinning.” End ID]

I love them. I can picture this so perfectly.

[Text ID: “’What dost thou know of Surak?’ she asked finally—but her voice spoke more of perplexity than challenge. ‘What everyone knows: he was the founder of Vulcan philosophy. I know he is a personal hero to my friend Spock, the way Abraham Lincoln, from human history, is to me.’” End ID]

Kirk will bring up Abe Lincoln whenever he has a chance. That’s canon now.

[Text ID: “’You are not only anything, Spock. You are more, not less, because of your dual heritage. It is fruitless to wish now that I had made that clearer to you when you were a child.’ ‘You wanted me to be Vulcan.’ ‘That is true,’ Sarek agreed. ‘And you are Vulcan, representative of IDIC in its fullest sense.’ Spock studied his father. ‘You never put it to me that way. The last time you and I spoke as father and son, before I went to Starfleet Academy, you reminded me of how important it was that I think of myself as Vulcan. Do you remember your words, father?’ Sarek remembered. ‘I am Vulcan by birth. Your mother is Vulcan by choice. You are Vulcan by both birth and choice.’ ‘And then I disappointed you by making a different choice.’ Sarek searched his memory, trying to recover the logical reason for what now seemed completely irrational. Finally, he said simply, ‘I was wrong.’” End ID]

Yes! Let’s talk about our feelings! Let’s resolve those daddy issues!

[Text ID: “He went back to his room—Spock’s room, really. Kirk had brought with him a sturdy suit and boots, for Spock had suggested they might go camping in the mountains after the summer heat abated. (Last sentence underlined in red by me.) He put on the boots and the trousers to the suit, but decided the heavy shirt would be far too hot—" End ID]

Spock wanted to take them camping. 🥹

[Text ID: “‘He will recover, though?’ asked Spock. ‘Yeah—you can see him later, Spock,’ said the doctor. ‘He’s gonna be in considerable pain—you’re probably the only person he’ll be able to stand. Your son would’ve made a good doctor,’ he added to Sarek. ‘I don’t know how he does it, but he’s really good with people in pain.’ Spock’s eyebrows shot up at the unexpected compliment from the man Sarek usually saw him trade barbs with. Then Leonard left them to go back to his patient, and Spock turned to Sarek. ‘May I ask you something, Father?’ ‘What is it, Spock?’ ‘When Mother became conscious, you called her…?’ ‘Beloved.’” End ID]

Spock being very concerned about Kirk’s injuries. Bones saying Spock is the only person Kirk would tolerate while in pain. Spock asking his father about expressing love for an outworlder. It’s a lot.

[pumpkinsy0]

tldr: @buddyaldridge is a 30 year old weirdo proshipper who talks shit about ppl behind their backs, block em and report if you can/want to

just wanna let everyone know theres a omegaverse mpreg dallyboy writer whos been an all around WEIRDOOOOO cause their brain is LITERALLY porn rotted and they cannot fathom ppl actually having fun at all, their @ is @buddyaldridge aka @pelopsides previously known as @madelynprior

in 2020-2022 the outsiders tumblr they used to be @madelynprior and theyre a hardcore dallyboy stan which is already fucking weird, but on top of that, they would make teen pregnancy omegaverse smut fics which??? and im not gonna give you the ss, nigga im givin yall the LINKKK to see it with your own eyes so you know im not crazy

how ik its them is bc on their acc RIGHT before they switched to their buddyaldridge acc, and before that acc was named “pelopides”, they used to go by “madeleinepryor”, how ik its the same person is bc on a good chunk of their post, theyd tag it as “#madeleinepryor dispatches” on top of that, they just straight up linked their ao3 acc😭😭

heres what the link goes to, they linked their ao3 acc, they just changed their username on ao3 as well from madeleinepryor to greasers

now me calling them a proshipper isnt me talking out of my ass, they say it themselves like ughhhhjjj

as for them talking about other ppl, i wont share ALL the screenshots bc idk if the ppl theyre talking bad about would rlly feel comfortable w those being posted, if they know, they can feel free to post it on their own accord, so like i said, wont share, but i HAVE seen some and i can conform that they have done it, its ABSOLUTELY NOT above them

for now ill post the ss i CAN post rn which just proves my point

now ignoring that theyre talking smack, theyre just so odd and obviously didnt rlly think this through bc 1967 is ALREADY IMPLIED in the 60s, youre just incapable of reading things that arent about teen boys getting it on w each other PLEASE get a grip on reality😭😭

theyve talked about 14 year olds and their post on their acc just to shit on them, once again, GROWN ASS PERSON TWEAKIN OVER THE IDEAS OF A 14 YEAR OLD🗣️🗣️

NOW maybe your asking “how do you know the discord user and the tumblr user are the same person” AND I WILL ADMIT, while i DO have strong feelings they are the same person, its not 100% proven, HOWEVER buddyaldridge DOES go by buddy and that discord users name is buddy, so while its not concrete, the link IS there, once again, feel free to come to whatever conclusion you wanna come to about that

but what ISNT disputable is the fact that theyre a proshitter

additionally just this??? reblog from them????

on its own, not MUCH, bit considering the fics they make this is SO weird like??????

and finally, ive heard that theyve specifically came for me about my haitian shepards and maybe even my heritage, saying that they hated race hcs??????like using me as an example, they ss my acc and talked shit, someone contacted me about it and they dont have ss of it specifically, but they can vouch for it, and im not just gonna dismiss that, bc while they dont have ss, they do have ss and proof of everything else, so i do believe them, and theyve said if they find it they would show them to me, do what you wanna with this info

ANYWAYS buddy, your brain is unironically pornrotted, ur being a lil baby who cant do anything but cry and moan online on discord of all places and ur doing all this as a 30+ year old, and its CRAZIER bc youre doing all this while having “minors dni” in your pinned post, while also writing about minors, in a fandom MOSTLY OF MIDDLE SCHOOLERS!!!! (aka minors!!! ik age is hard for you to grasp) on top of that, literally ANY and ALL race hcs is way more believable and enjoyable than any “ideas” you’ve been cooking up in that odd demented, shriveled up pea brain of urs

anyways yea, that all i have to say, and im speaking for myself here, but i mean this with every fiber of my being, i dont know how you function in life but i DO NOT want you to go any farther, and i think others would/DO feel the same, ive seen what makes you cheer and i am PROUUUDDD to make you BOOOOO, you shouldnt be near minors at all, fictional or non fictional, you should BARELY be near other adults

plus if you go onto their acc rn, notice how when anon called them out, buddy aint even say they were wrong?? JUST SAYIN🗣️🗣️

im tagging everything i can tag bc i DO NOTTTT want mfs interacting w their blog, and want as many ppl as possible to be aware, dont say anything to them, dont give them attention bc obviously they’ll think this is funny and post it on their shitty discord server or whatever and giggle like they arent a grown ass nigga w bills to pay, trying so hard to cling onto their high school days, making fics about a canon middle schooler getting banged and pregnant, pls block and report do whatever u wanna do, just plssss dont let this proshitter on this damn sight near kidssss😭😭

dont take this as me WANTING drama, i dont, i just dont want ppl coming in this fandom thinking posting this shit and doing this is ok, youre bullying ppl for doing harmless things meanwhile your just making straight porn about a weird ship left n right, thinking YOUUUUU of all ppl have the place to talk about anyone or anything like your opinion on anything is valid😭😭

you NEED stones thrown at you

if anyone has anymore ss send em to mmeeeeee, but in the mean time ill be doin my own thing wooooo‼️‼️🔥🔥

[justalittlesolarpunk]

I've been feeling climate anxiety lately. I think it's really necessary to change everything and progress towards a postcapitalist future that doesn't endanger our planet, our Pachamama. But I don't see how that will be possible. What do you think about this?

Hiya, thanks for getting in touch and sorry it’s taken me so long to reply. I get a lot of asks like this so I think I might make this another masterpost. Here’s climate anxiety solutions according to me:

1) Accept your feelings. Recognise that fear, grief, rage and despair are all normal, healthy, human reactions to paying actual attention to what is being done to our planet right now. You aren’t wrong or sick or overreacting by feeling them. Sit with the emotions, allow them to wash over you, cry, smash plates, punch a pillow, journal, write poetry, yell at the news, scream in the woods! Trying to repress these feelings will just make them harder to deal with.

2) Recognise that the paralysis of climate anxiety is not a good place from which to make a difference. Try to let horror, guilt and self-blame go, and lean into the love for people and planet that motivates all eco-anxiety. Start consuming good news stories and keying into activist spaces so that you can learn how others are claiming agency to fight this problem, and how you can emulate that. Remember that despair absolves you of responsibility and that true solidarity with the most affected means letting your emotions drive you towards action.

4) Educate yourself through reading, listening to podcasts, attending talks, seeking advice from elders, and more - whatever works for your particular life and circumstances. The more informed you are about these issues the more you’ll feel able to address them.

3) Make as many changes as you can in your personal life. Are you eating a high-carbon diet? Try to reduce that. Are you consuming a lot of water or energy resources? Look for green and low-intensity alternatives. Examine your transport habits and prioritise walking, cycling, trains, low or zero emission buses, sailing, and replacing longer-haul journeys with remote options. If you live in a throwaway culture, try to prioritise reuse and repair over consumption. Consider how your livelihood impacts the planet, and if it’s negatively and making change is possible for you, start the process of moving towards an occupation that lets you make a more positive difference.

4) Fight! Join a campaign group, write to your elected officials, attend a protest, donate money to causes if you can, commit civil disobedience if you feel willing and able. Put pressure on governments, businesses and the public to change their ways.

5) Prioritise joy and connection. Spend time in nature, watching animals or foraging for plants or swimming or walking or just letting it all wash over you. Link up with other people to talk through your worries, go hiking, lobby for climate justice, safeguard ecosystems and pass down your local heritage. Sometimes, take a day or two to check out of all these issues and problems and just spend time drawing, cooking, playing games with loved ones, or whatever it is that relaxes you. There are enough of us that you can take the time to avoid burnout.

I hope some of this was helpful, and do please get back in touch if you have any other questions or queries. You’re part of a huge global community of people who love and revere the earth and want to build a better future for all life upon her. Hold onto that.

[alatismeni-theitsa]

Theitsa, I had the misfrotune of stubling onto r/hellenism recently, and wow they really hate Greeks! But why then worship a HELLENIC religion that sprung out of the conciousness of HELLENES, that are indigenous to HELLAS? Its dumbfounding. Anyone can believe what they they feel is right to them, but why venerate a Greek religion when you clearly dont like Greece or Greeks?

I am sure most of these LARPers only got into Greek religion through western pop culture, quite shallow. Just like most people that venerate the Norse gods got into it through Marvel movies and the like lol I bet if it was Mongolian spiritualty and religion that was in popular media, they would worship that instead. Besides, I dont see many people lament, cry, piss and shit over Swedes not being polytheistic anymore. Why is that?

And you KNOW that the only reason they feel so entitled to Greek culture is becase of the long history of the west appropriating it and glorifying Classical Greece (Athens), but they try so hard to justify it.

I wish westerners would understand that trying to separate Greeks from their heritage and history will not make their anglo asses any closer to or more connected to Greek history and culture. They should accept their own heritage and embrace it.

Ok rant over lol

When I saw r/hellenism I knew what was coming 😭 Not to say that everyone there is horrible but I've been avoiding this subreddit because this behaviour was prevalent. What was discussed there felt so out of touch with "worship" and it was a bit more like LARPing. It sad that it hasn't changed yet.

If you don't mind me asking, what did you see that made you want to rant? (You don't have to provide links)

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for telling my mixed race cousin the truth about her racial background?

This happened a few months back but continues to divide our family to this day, and I have my own regrets about it, so I thought it would be good to get some outside perspective.

My little cousin (we'll call her May) was privately adopted by my aunt 17 years ago. Her biological mom already had 4 kids at home, 2 of them special needs, and she was an unplanned pregnancy. But she was also deeply religious and against abortion, so she went to her (southern baptist) church for help. My aunt was a member of that church and was having trouble conceiving, so she offered to adopt the woman's baby and she agreed.

I know all this for a fact because my aunt asked my mom to come with her as emotional support when she met with the bio mom and dad at their home to talk more about the details. I was dragged along (8 years old at the time) and saw the bio parents myself. The mom was white, and the dad was black. I sat and listened to them talk about boring adult stuff and heard both the man and woman refer to May as "their baby". Then I got bored and went in the other room to play with their kids on the xbox.

Fast forward 17 years later to the present day and May has done pretty well in life. She's a straight A student with a 4.0 and wants to be a physicist. She knows she's adopted and knows she's mixed race (would be pretty hard to hide, since both her parents are whiter than mayo and she's obviously not). I never said anything about her being half black, because I assumed she knew. I found out she does not when she was talking about looking into scholarships and says maybe she can get a scholarship for Indigenous peoples. I laugh because I assume she's joking.

May looks at me and asks why that's so funny, and I say because she's not Native American. She looks truly pissed now and like she's geared up for a fight against a racist and says yes, she is. I look at her parents for backup but they won't look me in the eye. "May, I met your parents. You're half black," I told her. She calls me a liar and says that's stupid, because her parents got her through an adoption agency and she knows she's half Native American.

Now I'll tell you, I know my aunt and uncle made jokes about how she "looks like an Indian" when she was a baby. I know they dressed her up in racist "Indian" outfits every Halloween (first I wasn't old enough to know it was racist, then I thought it's not worth the argument bringing it up). I know her cringey online persona when she was 12/13 was called "PocahontasGirl", and her online "aesthetic" has always been nature and romanticized, spiritual Native American stuff. And again, I never said anything because it wasn't worth the argument, and I figured she would grow out of it when she was less immature. I had genuinely know idea it's because her parents have been lying to her.

I tried to convince her I wasn't lying, I tried to get my aunt and uncle to back me up, but May is a terror when she's mad and she was screaming and crying at me for being racist and calling her parents liars so I just left. She's blocked me everywhere since then, and my aunt called my mom to rant about me filling her daughter's head with lies and trying to break up their happy family. My mom said I should have just left it alone, I said May deserves to know who she really is, and how can my mom condone lying to her when we both know the truth? My mom said just to drop it, it isn't any of our business. That she didn't like the fact that my aunt lied either, but bringing it up now was an asshole move because it would divide the family no matter what. Either May would believe me and hate her parents, or believe her parents and hate me.

In my heart I feel like it's wrong on so many levels to adopt a mixed race child then lie about their heritage, and I think my aunt and uncle are just plain racist. But I can't blame May for not believing me and believing the people who raised her. And I truly do miss her, having known her all her life. AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[sillypiratelife]

Kuina is probably my favorite female character of One Piece, but that's because she represents just perfectly the experience of being a little girl that's into martial arts— and some other stuff.

Kuina would never be enough because she could not be man enough to inherit the dojo, according to her dad, but she was also not lady-like enough to be considered a "woman". To the eyes of other people (and what they make her believe), Kuina's dream marked her as an eternal outcast, someone who would never reach one shore or the other.

To Kuina, her body was a cage. Even if she had everything within her, her body would make her naturally weaker. Similar to being condemned to fight with a bad sword, a blade that would break. Being a child was safe. Little boys and little girls are equals. Growing up meant losing time, losing ground. Every year must have to be a burden to her, with the constant reminder that her time as the best was running out.

The fear and hatred of puberty, the horror of the way your body changes without your permission, the experience of girls who feel uncomfortable in her bodies because they don't want breasts, they don't want to be weaker once a month because their bodies are bleeding and their hormones are ruining everything— I've seen it all.

Worst even, the way people would stare at those bodies and lust for them. The trauma of being desirable. Now they think that they're entitled to your body, that they can disrespect you. You're a toy, an object, you're a woman so you're weak and fragile, you're a woman so give up, you're not in control of the situation anymore.

When Koushiro said that a woman could never be the best swordman in the world, there are soooo many things in between the lines. Why not?

As if it wasn't enough, the boys accused Kuina of being that much better than them because her dad was the leader of the dojo, so he must be teaching her in secret. Her merits were never hers, just the results of another man. "Ah, that girl can't be that good, she must be getting help, receiving special treatment, getting extra training, etc". It's infuriating and Kuina shows it. They disrespect her like it's nothing, like it's natural. Her own dad allows it and participates in that.

Before Zoro, Kuina had no one to tell her that her skills were only hers. Her body, her heritage, not of that mattered. She was the rightful winner of their matches, at least so far.

When Zoro cries out of frustration and Kuina asks him if he even knows why she should be the one crying for it? Life changing moment. Zoro got the praise and loyalty of the dojo boys, the admiration of the older people training there, he was even the special boy of her dad— Koushiro let Zoro clown around with multiple swords and watch Kuina beat his ass, but it'd never matter.

Zoro wouldn't be betrayed by his own body, his own family, his own dojo and his own hometown. He was an outsider accepted by the community, their pride even. He came out of nowhere and they gave him everything she wanted and both of them deserved. It's just that it wasn't a fair fight: Zoro was a boy and Kuina was a girl. She'd always have to fight harder even if she was better.

For me, I really think that only Zoro could carry Wado Ichimonji with him. He was the only one who respected Kuina as a person and a rival, not seeing what others saw in her. Zoro honored all their fights, never tried to discredit her, because even when Koushiro tried to give Zoro an excuse "you forgot that she's a little older than you", Zoro brushed it away. No, he could beat grown-ups. That was not it.

Kuina was better than him. Period.

The fact that she died in such an accident and the way Koushiro said "humans are fragile things"... It is just so amazing. What Kuina feared the most: all her potential, wasted. When she was finally ready to go after what she wanted, she fell down the stairs and died. Simple. The promise Zoro and Kuina made was wasted too. Now Zoro had all the time in the world and Kuina had no time at all. She was always against fate and Zoro rode with it.

I still think about how Zoro plans to make it all worth something: if she can rightfully fight for the title, then he won't let anyone have it but him. If Kuina was able to beat 2001 times the boy who would become the best swordman in the world, then no one could insult him ever again. And if he won that title with her sword, then he'd elevate both their names. If he could fulfill his promise to her, then that night would hold its meaning.

I love Kuina soooo freaking much and I love how much Zoro values her, even to this day.