#CRUSH ME PLEASE

[thatesqcrush]

God bless Paul Wontorek. And special h/t to @melk917 for bringing this delightful picture to my attention!

[veryloweffort]

Does anyone else just look at your favorite character/crush and think "GAD DAMN!! I want that ass"

[hottestghostface]

When I say that all my problems would be solved if this man just crushed me with his thighs. I mean all my problems!!

[kaplerrr]

I love tagging. I don't know how to do it properly but this is soo amusing to create the most random tags on the mundanest post ever

Or sometimes creating tags longer than the post itself? Big yes

Or tags that are absolutely not related to the post ? I can tag this as a supernatural fanfiction

The amount of power is insane

[sovaghoul]

when men roll up their sleeves and show their slutty little forearms i wither away like a victorian man seeing ankles for the first time

[whateveriwant]

I know I’ve already gone on and on about what it’s like to have a size difference with Simon Riley, but I’m sorry, I just will never get over how big and strong this man is.

Like I feel like sometimes his size gets lost on us since he’s surrounded by other tall, buff military guys all the time. But y’all, I’m telling you, this man is big. Like 6’4, 250+ pounds, big enough to eclipse the sun big.

With a man that big, it honestly doesn’t even matter what size you are because he’s always going to be bigger and stronger than you anyway. You can be tall, short, stocky, thin, whatever, and this man is still fully capable (and willing? ����) of snapping you in half like a twig.

Are you worried about potential home invaders? Well, you shouldn’t be. One quick flick of his wrist and he’s breaking the neck of anyone who tries to threaten you. Did you accidentally lock yourself out of the house? Well, don’t bother calling a locksmith. There’s no lock left to pick after he’s just caved the door in with his foot. Do you have a really stubborn jar you’re struggling to open? Well, hand it over, love. He can crack that sucker open in half a second flat.

But Lord, don’t even get me started when it comes to all the ways Simon uses that strength of his in the bedroom.

Like when he tells you to sit on his face so he can eat you out. Don’t even try it with that nervous, hovering, “I’m too heavy, Si,” bullshit. You better sit your ass down right when and where he tells you to or he’ll hold you down by the hips until he’s had his fill.

Or when, after a night of heavy flirting and teasing, he’s got that look in his eye as he corners you against your entryway wall. Don’t be surprised when one moment your feet are firmly planted on the ground, and the next you’re lifted into the air, your legs slung over his arms as he drills into you like you’re his own little fuck puppet.

Or when he’s got you spread out on his bed, got your knees up by your ears, got the backs of your thighs burning in a way that’s matched only by how your walls have to stretch to take his thick cock. Don’t think he’s being mean or malicious when he sees your eyes well with tears but does nothing to change the way he’s fucking down into you. It’s not that Simon doesn’t care whenever you cry and quiver and plead with him to go easier on you, it’s that he knows the truth. He knows that, deep down, you love when he handles you like he isn’t afraid to break you.

[irafook]

Ok, but listen. Harry goes back in time and decides to get rid of Tom Riddle AU, but the sorting hat goes like ??? when it reads Harry's mind. Idk it just irks me how the sorting hat is so understanding in most time travel fics, at best it puts Harry in a house he didn't want to be. But just imagine if it actually tells on Harry, full great hall drama with the hat going like "HE'S HERE TO MURDER SOMEONE"

And ofc Tom is instantly obsessed with the murder boy.

Extra:

(ofc the poor hat is not broken, it's on the verge of a nervous breakdown)

[astrosensu]

Oi Mami, she could slap me and I'd thank her!

RHEA RIPLEY (WWE SummerSlam, July 30th, 2022)

[jel-jel-jel]

for the marinacht truthers out there. can anybody hear me

[bardicbird]

a little siffrin comic about touch, violence, and oranges

[s3rrrpentine]

who wants to be squished next :D (or crushed, if you ask nicely)

thank you so much to the dearest @piranhaincaps for commissioning me as well as your kind messages (⊃｡•́‿•̀｡)⊃ i love the idea that ghost is the one that's getting squished hehehe

[beanie2007]

Madam, Mommy even!

“Round 3, Punk!“ 

 Rekka from #HiFiRush ! 

 You can’t tell me I was the only one waiting for this to happen…

[egophiliac]

Since book 7 part 5 (the part where we meet Meleanor/Maleanor 👀) is coming to EN this month, i would love to see your take on lilia’s proposal to meleanor! i mean they were like little kids right? it couldn’t have been that serious…i think the only reason she even brought it up again is because she could tell lilia still genuinely loved her…(even if he didn’t realize it himself?) but, oh well! Let’s think about silly childhood shenanigans to numb the pain! ^_^ (orz)

oh shit?! get ready for a doozy guys, it's comiiiiiing ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

I chickened out of posting the whole thing (look, I get VERY carried away when it comes to these wacky kids and their Tragedy), but I do believe that it probably ended with Lilia getting embarrassed and just shoving the first thing he sees into his mouth to try and cover for it.

(we're just lucky it wasn't a frog this time)

[eddiegotout]

people should talk about parenting like they talk about professional sports. you can do this if you work really hard and sacrifice your body and your sleep and other passions and activities. you've got to really want it. you've got to want it more than anything else. and 70% of the people who THINK they want to be parents actually look at the hard work and think. ok. nevermind i will be a childless barista (equally noble passion). and i think everyone should cheer and clap when parents bring their children home like they would if they won olympic gold. this would fix a lot about society

[daaudball]

Hmmmm

[minteehell]

Leah with her flower dance outfit,,

she can definitely crush me with those big strong arms.

Also, my posts will be a bit slow this and next month, I have to focus on finals and my other uni projects. But I will be active reblogging sdv content!

Original (by Cdzfit on tiktok!)