#CROWLEY YOU DENSE BAG OF WET CABBAGE. in all seriousness I didn’t mean this to be so long or angsty 😅

[fakemichaelsheen]

aziraphale: *smiling*

crowley: what are you looking so pleased about?

aziraphale: oh nothing. love is in the air, that’s all. I’m surprised you can’t feel it *shudders* oh, it’s wonderful.

crowley, suddenly tense: nope, no idea what you’re on about.

aziraphale, pleased with himself: the humans. I…may have given them a little push in the right direction.

crowley, raises an eyebrow: you?

aziraphale, offended: and why not? I’ll have you know, I’m well versed when it comes to matters of the heart. I’m an angel, it’s what we do.

-earlier-

aziraphale, cautious: are you sure that’s wise? You must keep her at a distance!

maggie, chuckling: it’s just coffee, mr. fell.

aziraphale, rolls his eyes: oh yes that’s where it starts! coffee, an apple, and before you know it, you’re facing a terrifying situation where one wrong move means you could lose the one being who means more to you than anything else!

maggie: whoa *grins* who’s the lucky fella?

aziraphale: …

-present-

crowley: pffft. what a load of rubbish.

aziraphale, smug: oh and what would you know of love?

crowley: …

-earlier-

crowley, outraged: are you mad? what would you want to be in love for? love is overrated! those annoying butterflies when he does something stupid. that pathetic staring when he says something ridiculous. the fact you’ll do anything for him, he doesn’t even have to ask. the things you’ve done, the things you’ll do. who wants to feel like that all the time?

nina: um…who are you again?

-present-

crowley: …

crowley: nothing. I’m just saying you’re wasting your time, that’s all.

aziraphale, beaming: how can you say that? look at them!

crowley: *watches nina give maggie a bunch of flowers*

aziraphale: I’m so happy for them, crowley. they’ve been dancing around each other for weeks. oh, it’s a tremendous feeling, having brought two people together.

crowley, sighs: I guess.

aziraphale, glances at him: you don’t think it’s possible? that two people, seemingly from different worlds, could ever make it work? you’re not…the least bit happy for them?

crowley, shrugs: whatever

aziraphale, nods: yes, of course. whatever, indeed.