#CHOKING HIMMMMM

[hyukascampfire]

loser kai titty fucking u, yeah i love you for this. hyukascampfireville you know what it is

PAINTED BRUISES AND PAPER WINGS - ⋆⭒˚｡⋆ H.K

》 Kai had one goal. Tutor the most popular girl on campus without getting a boner…

》 𝔱𝔵𝔱 𝔪𝔞𝔰𝔱𝔢𝔯𝔩𝔦𝔰𝔱 & 𝔪𝔬𝔯𝔢…

pairings » loser tutor!kai x popular cheerleader!fem reader

𝔤𝔢𝔫𝔯𝔢 » smut » college au

warnings » smut, pwp, tit job, pussy drunk kai, unprotected sex, oral (m rec.), not explicitly mentioned loss of virginity, mention of masturbation, corruption kink, cowgirl, choking (m rec), hickeys, innocent kai, kai wears glasses, reader teaches him how to kiss, slight sub!kai, rushed ending

« 𝔭𝔦𝔫𝔱𝔢𝔯𝔢𝔰𝔱 𝔟𝔬𝔞𝔯𝔡 »

word count « 5.3k »

You swing the door open, leaning casually against the frame as if you have all the time in the world. Kai is standing there, clutching his backpack like it’s a lifeline, his glasses slightly askew on his nose. He’s got that deer-in-headlights look, the one that’s half terror and half disbelief, like he’s still trying to convince himself this is actually happening. “Took you long enough,” you say, arching an eyebrow. You’re still in your cheer uniform—not because you forgot to change, but because you know it makes him uncomfortable. The smug smile tugging at your lips deepens when you catch the way his eyes dart to your pom-poms tossed carelessly on the bed and then quickly away, like even looking too long might be a sin. 

“Uh, sorry, I, uh…” He’s already stammering, which you’ll admit is kind of adorable in a pathetic way. His cheeks flush bright red, and you resist the urge to laugh. Barely.

“Relax, Kai, I don’t bite.” You step back, holding the door open wider. “Unless you’re into that of course.” You send him a smirk, one that leaves him flustered. His lips move soundlessly for a second, and you swear he’s about to say something clever, but he just ducks his head and shuffles inside. The door clicks shut behind him, and the room feels smaller somehow, the air charged with a tension that’s equal parts amusing and intriguing. He sets his backpack down on the desk, pulling out a textbook and a neatly organized notebook. Of course he’s the type to have color-coded tabs. You lean against the edge of your bed, arms crossed, watching him like a cat might watch a particularly nervous mouse.

“You always this twitchy, or is it just me?” you ask, tilting your head. 

“I—what?” He looks up, eyes wide behind those thick lenses. 

“You heard me.” You smirk, leaning forward just enough to watch him squirm. “What, do I intimidate you?” His eyes flickered downwards only for a second catching sight of your cleavage spilling over in your cheer top. It was so quick you weren’t entirely sure it even happened. 

“No! I mean, not… really,” he says, but his voice cracks on the last word, and you have to bite your lip to keep from laughing outright. 

“Sure, Kai. Whatever you say.” You push off the bed and stroll over to where he’s awkwardly standing, flipping through his notes like they might suddenly disappear. You pluck the notebook out of his hands before he can react, flipping it open to the first page. “Let’s see what we’ve got here.” 

“Wait, that’s—” He protested, his hand stretched out towards you.

“Oh, my God, is this your handwriting?” you interrupt, holding up the page like it’s a work of art. “It’s so… neat. You’re like a human printer or something.” You teased him. 

“I just like to keep things organized,” he mutters, grabbing for the notebook, but you hold it out of his reach, grinning. 

“Relax, I’m kidding.” You hand it back, and he clutches it to his chest like you’ve just handed him a baby. “Alright, let’s get this over with. What are we working on today? Quadratics? Polynomials? Something else that sounds like a disease?” 

He blinks at you, clearly unsure if you’re serious or not. “Uh, geometry, actually.” His face was tinted red with heat, an adorably shy expression on his face. 

“Great. Geometry. My favorite.” You flop onto your bed, propping yourself up on your elbows. “Alright, Professor Kai, teach me your nerdy ways.” He hesitates, glancing at the desk like he’s debating whether to sit there or risk the empty spot on the bed. You pat the mattress beside you, and his face does that adorable tomato thing again. He eventually perches on the very edge, stiff as a board, and you have to fight the urge to mess with him more. For now, anyway. 

“Okay, so, um,” he starts, opening the textbook to a bookmarked page. “We’ll start with angles.” 

“Lead the way,” you say, grinning. This is going to be fun. Not. 

After about twenty minutes, you’re already bored. Angles, lines, and proofs swirl together into one big mess of blah in your brain. You let out an exaggerated sigh, flopping back onto the bed dramatically. “Kai, this is torture. You’re supposed to be making me smarter, not putting me to sleep.” 

He glances up, startled. “Uh, well, maybe if you focused a little—” He pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose. 

“Focus is for nerds,” you interrupt, sitting up and fixing him with a teasing grin. “Speaking of which, you’re like, the king of nerds, right? Have you ever even had a girlfriend?” You twirled your hair around your finger intently watching Kai get even more flustered. You’d be lying if you said it wasn’t sexy. 

His face does that adorable flush thing again, and he looks anywhere but at you. “I—I don’t think that’s relevant,” he mutters. 

“Oh my God, you haven’t!” You laugh, clapping your hands together. “That’s so cute.” 

“It’s not—” He pushes his glasses up his nose, clearly flustered. “I’ve just been… busy. With school.” 

“Sure, sure,” you say, scooting closer to him on the bed. “Too busy for girls, huh? You’re missing out, Kai. I bet there’s a whole line of girls just waiting for you to notice them.” He glances at you briefly, and for a second, you think he might actually believe you. Then he shakes his head, a shy smile tugging at the corners of his lips. “I doubt that.” 

“Aw, come on. You’re, like, totally adorable in a dorky way,” you say, poking his arm playfully. “If you ever want tips, I’m available. I could totally turn you into boyfriend material.” 

“Uh, thanks, but I think I’ll pass,” he says, and you can tell he’s trying to sound confident, but the red in his cheeks gives him away. 

“Are you sure? Because I can teach you a lotttt of things.” You drawled the word out with a seductive lit, learning forward on your palms knees laid flat on the bed you both sat on. “Just say the word.” Kai nodded, licking his lips before looking down at the paper in between you two. 

He fumbles with his notebook, flipping back to the page he’d marked. “Uh, we should probably stick with the angles,” he says, his voice a little steadier now. You let him drone on for a few more minutes, but your attention starts to wander again. You catch yourself studying him instead—how his brow furrows when he’s concentrating, the way his glasses slip down his nose and he pushes them back up without even realizing it. It’s… kind of endearing. 

“Hey, Kai,” you interrupt suddenly, making him jump. 

“Uh, yeah?” he says, looking up nervously. 

“What do you even do for fun? Like, do you have hobbies? Or is it just… math and more math?” 

“I, um…” He hesitates, clearly caught off guard. “I like reading. And, uh, video games, sometimes.” 

“Video games? Really?” You sit up, intrigued. “What kind of games? Please don’t say something boring like Sudoku.” 

He actually laughs, which surprises you. “No, not Sudoku. Mostly RPGs. You know, role-playing games?”

“Roleplay, huh. Cute.” You tsk. 

“Yeah i mainly play in my freetime an-” 

“Have you ever kissed a girl?” You asked, your intrusive horny thoughts getting the best of you. 

The poor boy freezes mid-sentence. His eyes go wide, and his mouth opens and closes like a goldfish. “I—what?”

“You heard me,” you say, your grin widening. “Do you know how to kiss? Or is that something else you’ve been ‘too busy’ for?”

“I… I…” His face is a spectacular shade of red now. “That’s not really—why would you even ask that?”

“Because I’m curious,” you reply, resting your chin in your hand as you watch him squirm. “And maybe a little concerned. You’re going to need to know eventually, you know.” 

“I don’t—uh, I mean, it’s not like it’s a priority,” he stammers, looking anywhere but at you.��

You laugh, shaking your head. “Oh, Kai. You’re hopeless. Want me to teach you?” 

His head snaps toward you so fast you’re surprised he doesn’t get whiplash. “W-what?” 

“I’m serious.” You sit up straighter, your expression playful but not unkind. “Consider it part of your ‘cool lessons.’ Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone. It’ll be our little secret.” 

“I—I don’t think…” He trails off, clearly torn between mortification and… something else. Curiosity, maybe? 

“Relax,” you say, your tone softer now. “It’s not a big deal. And it’s better to practice with someone who knows what they’re doing than to wing it with a girl you actually like, right?” 

He swallows hard, his Adam’s apple bobbing. “I… guess that makes sense,” he mumbles. 

“Exactly.” You grin, scooting closer to him. “So, what do you say? You in?” 

He nods almost robotically at you, his face red with heat. You smiled at him and his adorableness. “If at any point you want me to stop, just tell me okay?” 

“Alright.” His chest heaved slightly up and down. His breath was so hot and heavy it started to fog up his glasses. 

In truth, You didn’t plan on this. Not exactly. When you invited Kai over for your usual tutoring session, you didn’t think the lesson would take such a... personal turn. But here you are, sitting cross-legged on your bed, looking down at your awkward, painfully shy tutor as he tries to figure out what to do with his long legs on your bedroom floor. He’s nervous. It's painfully obvious but also you think it’s kind of cute. Kai’s got this whole quiet, scruffy puppy vibe that’s weirdly irresistible, even when he’s rambling about physics equations you’ll never understand. “Okay,” you say, leaning forward and grinning at him. “So, we’re doing this.” 

Kai looks up from where he’s fidgeting with the strings of his hoodie. “Like, actually?” he asks, his voice soft and uncertain, like he’s afraid of the answer. 

“If you want to.” You reassured. You didn't want to make him do something he really didn't want to do. 

“Ok.” He nods again. 

“So you really haven’t kissed anyone?” You asked him. 

“No. Really.” He mumbled. 

“Well,” you say, clapping your hands together. “That’s tragic, and we’re fixing it. Right now.”

Kai stays quiet keeping his eyes glued to the notebook below him. His fingers curl the ends of the papers as a distraction. “Relax,” you say, scooting closer. “It’s just practice. Like studying for a test. You’re good at that, right?” 

“This is not like studying,” he mutters, his eyes darting everywhere but your face.

“It kinda is,” you tease, grinning. “You don’t wanna bomb your first real kiss, do you?”

He groans, his head falling forward so his messy hair hides his face. “This is so embarrassing.” The action sent a bolt of pure adrenaline straight to your core, heat pooling in your stomach. 

“Aww, don’t be like that,” you say, reaching out to nudge his knee. He flinches at the contact, which just makes you smile harder. “You’ve got me, like, the best teacher ever. You’ll be fine.” 

Kai hesitates for a long moment, his fingers twitching nervously against the blanket. Then, finally, he nods. It’s barely a movement, but it’s enough. “Okay,” you say, sitting up a little straighter. “First rule: don’t overthink it. Just lean in slowly, and don’t bump my nose, okay?”

He nods again, his face so red it almost matches the physics textbook on your desk. Taking a deep breath, he leans in, his movements jerky and uncertain. His nose brushes yours, and his glasses bump your forehead, making you giggle. “Hold up,” you say, reaching out to adjust his glasses. Your fingers graze his temple, and he freezes, his breath hitching. “There. Now try again.” Kai swallows hard and leans in once more, this time slower and more deliberate. When his lips finally meet yours, it’s hesitant—soft and shy, like he’s afraid of messing up. But then, something shifts. 

Maybe it’s the way you relax into him, or maybe he’s not as clueless as he seems, but his movements become a little bolder. His hand brushes against yours on the bed, tentative at first, then firmer as his fingers curl around yours. His lips move against yours with surprising tenderness, and for someone who’s never kissed a girl before, he’s… actually pretty good at this. When he pulls back, his glasses are fogged up, and his hair is sticking up on one side from where your hand accidentally ruffled it. He looks at you like he’s not sure if he should apologize or thank you. His lips were red and stained from your lip stink. It was a sight for sore eyes. That was for sure. “Well,” you say, tilting your head and pretending to think. “That was definitely better than I expected.” 

Kai blinks at you, his mouth opening and closing like he’s trying to find words. “It… it was?”

“Uh, yeah,” you say, laughing. “You’ve got, like, natural talent or something.”

His ears turn red, and he looks down at his lap, clearly flustered. “I don’t know about that…” 

“I’m serious.” You say with a cheeky smile. “I’m surprised you’ve never kissed a girl before.” 

Kai doesn’t say anything at first, his gaze fixed on the bed like it’s suddenly the most interesting thing in the world. He’s holding his breath, you realize, like he’s still processing what just happened. You lean back a little, smirking as you nudge his knee with your toes. “Earth to Kai. You good?”

“Y-yeah,” he stammers, pushing his glasses up his nose with shaking fingers. “I’m… I’m fine.”

“Uh-huh,” you say, grinning at how flustered he is. “You sure? You look like you just ran a marathon or something.”

He laughs nervously, rubbing the back of his neck. “I just… I didn’t think…”

“Didn’t think what?” you prompt, leaning in a little.

He glances up at you through his lashes, his brown eyes wide and uncertain. Then, so quietly you almost don’t catch it, he says, “Can we… do it again? For practice?” You blink, surprised. For someone who looked like he wanted to crawl under the bed two minutes ago, that’s a pretty bold request. But then you see the way he’s fidgeting, his fingers twisting the hem of his hoodie again, and you realize he’s just as nervous as before—maybe more. 

“You want more practice?” you ask, raising an eyebrow.

Kai nods, his cheeks turning pink. “I just… I don’t want to mess it up. You said I was okay, but… I want to get it right.”

You laugh, the sound light and teasing. “Wow, look at you. Mr. Overachiever even when it comes to kissing.”

“I’m serious,” he says quickly, his voice a little firmer than before. “I-I mean… if you don’t mind.” You tilt your head, studying him for a moment. There’s something endearing about how earnest he is, like he’s genuinely trying to learn. And, okay, maybe you’re a little curious to see if he’s as good as you thought.

“Alright,” you say, grinning as you scoot closer. “But you better pay attention, because I’m not giving extra credit.” Kai swallows hard, nodding as you lean in. This time, he doesn’t wait for you to guide him. He closes the distance himself, his movements still hesitant but more deliberate. When his lips meet yours, it’s like he’s more sure of himself—less scared of getting it wrong. His hand brushes against your arm, tentative at first, then bolder as his fingers trail down to your wrist. There’s a softness to his touch, like he’s still afraid of crossing some invisible line, but there’s also something else—a quiet intensity that surprises you. You let out a soft hum of approval, and that seems to encourage him. He leans in closer, his glasses briefly pressing against your cheek before he adjusts. His lips move against yours with more confidence now, and when his hand comes to rest lightly on your waist, your heart skips a beat. 

“Okay,” you murmur against his mouth, pulling back just enough to catch your breath. “That was… definitely an improvement.” 

Kai looks at you, his face flushed and his glasses slightly fogged. “Yeah?” 

“Yeah,” you say, laughing softly as you brush a stray piece of hair from his forehead. “You’re, like, dangerously close to being good at this.” 

He bites his lip, a small, bashful smile creeping onto his face. “Do you think… we could keep practicing? Just, you know, to be sure.” 

You snort, shaking your head. “Wow, you’re really taking this whole ‘study session’ thing seriously, huh?”

Kai shrugs, his smile turning sheepish. “I just… I don’t want to forget what I learned.”

You roll your eyes, but there’s no hiding the grin tugging at your lips. “Fine,” you say, leaning in again. “But if you get too good at this, you’re gonna owe me, like, a hundred bucks in tutoring fees.”

He laughs, the sound soft and a little breathless. “Deal.”

This time, when your lips meet, it’s different. The hesitancy is still there—Kai’s nothing if not cautious—but there’s also a growing confidence in the way his mouth moves against yours. His hand on your waist tightens slightly, pulling you just a little closer, and when his fingers brush against the curve of your hip, you feel a shiver run down your spine. You grabbed his other hand guiding it up to cup your breast over your cheer top. His breath hitches in his throat but his lips do not disconnect from yours. His hand squeezes gently, fondling your breast clumsily. You deepen the kiss, letting your hands slide up to his shoulders. His breath hitches, and for a split second, he freezes, but then he responds, tilting his head to match your movements.

It’s almost funny how natural it feels now, like he’s been hiding this talent the whole time. And maybe he’s still a little clumsy, but there’s something kind of perfect about that—like he’s not just going through the motions, but actually feeling every second of it. His hand falls from your breast down the expanse of your body, like he was taking in every part of you. When you finally break apart, both of you are breathing harder than before. Kai looks dazed, his hair a mess and his glasses slipping down his nose again.

“Well,” you say, sitting back and trying to catch your breath. “That was… definitely better.” Kai sits there for a moment, blinking at you like he’s trying to process what just happened. His lips are slightly parted, still red from the kiss, and his glasses are askew again, but he doesn’t seem to notice. 

You lean back on your hands, smirking at him. “You’re seriously gonna have to stop being so cute when you’re flustered,” you tease. “It’s not fair.”

He ducks his head, his hair falling into his face as he adjusts his glasses with trembling fingers. “I—I’m not…” he starts, but his voice trails off, too shy to finish.

“Not what?” you prod, leaning forward. “Not cute? Hate to break it to you, Kai, but you totally are.”

He groans softly, covering his face with his hands. “You’re just saying that,” he mumbles.

You reach out, tugging his hands away from his face. “Nope,” you say, your voice softer now. “I mean it. You’re adorable.”

Kai looks up at you then, his brown eyes wide and uncertain. There’s something vulnerable about the way he’s looking at you, like he’s trying to figure out if this is real or just some kind of joke. “You okay?” you ask, tilting your head. 

He hesitates, his gaze flickering between your eyes and your lips. His voice is barely audible when he says, “Can we… do that again?”

You laugh, the sound soft and a little breathless. “Practice makes perfect, huh?”

Kai doesn’t laugh this time. Instead, he shakes his head, his cheeks turning pink. “Not… not practice,” he says quietly. “I just… want to.” For a moment, you’re too surprised to say anything. Kai, who practically turned into a human tomato at the idea of kissing you earlier, is asking to do it again—just because. And the way he’s looking at you now, with something like quiet determination beneath all that shyness, makes your heart skip a beat.

“Well,” you say, leaning in slowly, your voice dropping to a whisper. “How can I say no to that?”

This time, there’s no hesitation. Kai leans in, closing the distance between you, and when his lips meet yours, it’s like something clicks. He’s still careful, still soft and tentative, but there’s a new kind of intensity in the way his mouth moves against yours—like he’s finally letting himself want this. You pull away just slightly, your lips hovering over his “Did you like touching me earlier?” Your voice slightly ragged as you brought your own hand up to paw your breast. 

“Yes.” Was all he responded, eyelids heavy with lust. 

“Touch me.” You spoke with assertion bringing his palm up to your breast again. He squeezed lightly causing a small whimper to leave your lips. “Do you like my tits baby?” 

Kai’s nod was almost bobbled as he continued to fondle at your breast. You reattached your lips to his in a tangle of teeth and tongue. Your hands slide up to his shoulders, then into his hair, tugging lightly. He makes a sound in the back of his throat—half a gasp, half a hum—that sends a shiver down your spine. The hand that was on your breast left for only a brief moment before it was up and under your cheer top and his bare hand cupped at your boob under your top. “Wow,” you murmur against his lips, pulling back just enough to catch your breath. “Someone’s getting confident.”

Kai’s face flushes, but he doesn’t look away this time. Instead, he surprises you by leaning back in, capturing your mouth in a kiss that’s deeper, hungrier than before. It’s clumsy in a way that’s still undeniably Kai, but there’s so much raw emotion behind it that you don’t care. Your fingers tighten in his hair as you press closer, your heartbeat thundering in your chest. His glasses are getting in the way again, and you reach up to pull them off, tossing them onto the bed without breaking the kiss. Kai freezes for half a second, like he’s startled, but then he relaxes, his grip on your waist tightening as he pulls you closer. 

You can feel the heat radiating off him, his breathing uneven against your lips. There’s a tension in the air now, something electric that makes your skin tingle and your heart race. “Kai,” you murmur, your voice barely more than a whisper. 

He pulls back just enough to look at you, his face flushed and his eyes darker than you’ve ever seen them. “Is this… okay?” he asks, his voice shaky but earnest. 

You smile, brushing your thumb against his cheek. “More than okay,” you say softly. “Take it off.” You heaved, referring to your cheer top. Kai pulled back a look of bewilderment on his face before he made quick work of lifting your cheer top and exposing your bare chest to his eyes. “You're doing a good job baby boy.” 

He lets out a nervous laugh, his hands still resting on your waist. “I’m just… following your lead.” 

“Well,” you say, leaning in to press a kiss to the corner of his mouth. “You’re doing a pretty amazing job.” 

Kai’s breath hitches, and for a moment, it feels like the whole world has shrunk down to just the two of you. You’re not thinking about tutoring sessions or practice kisses anymore. All you can think about is him—how warm he is, how his lips feel against yours, and how you never want this moment to end. “Can we keep going?” he whispers, his voice so soft you almost don’t hear it. 

Your heart skips a beat at the vulnerability in his tone, the way he’s looking at you like you’re the only thing that matters. You smile, threading your fingers through his hair again. “Yeah,” you say, your voice just as soft. “We can keep going.” And when he leans in to kiss you again, there’s no hesitation, no awkwardness. 

“You know…” You trailed off separating yourself from his touch. “I can teach you other things too..” 

“R-really?” He stutters out, his eyes flicking back and forth from your face to your chest. 

“Mhm..” You hummed. You pulled back more creating a bit of distance between the two of you. Your finger poked Kai’s broad chest causing him to fall back against the plush pillows of the bed with a huff. 

“How often do you play with yourself Kai?” You asked him, licking your lips. His face turned flushed at the question. 

“Uh-..” He stumbled on the words “Couple-couple times a week.” 

“Yeah?” You hooked the loops of his pants with your fingers slowly pulling them down and around his ankles as he laid almost flat on your bed. “Do you cum?” 

“Y-yeah.” He huffed “A lot.” 

“Good, good.” You hummed. “I’m going to help you. Is that ok?” 

Kai nodded his lips parting as he watched you reach for his boxers next. 

“Since you like my tits so much… I'm going to use them to make you cum.” You yanked his boxers down with one fail swoop. “Then i’m going to fuck you, and as a prize you can cum inside me.” 

Kai’s groan rang free throughout the entire room, his chest heaving up and down in tandem with his quick breaths. “O-ok” With his erection now front and center you brought your lips forward, licking up the expanse of his dick all the way to head before leaving a light kiss on the bright red tip. 

“Oh.” Kai hissed at the small amount of contact. You let a glob of spit form in your mouth spitting out so it landed onto his length with a splatter.

“I need to get it wet.” You said sheepishly, taking his dick in your hands and pumping up and down using your spit as lubricant. Kai was flustered, his chest moving up and down and his face as bright as a tomato. 

You squeezed your breasts together before engulfing his length between them, pushing them up and down on his length creating the perfect pocket for him. 

“Does that feel good, baby boy?” You asked him, moving your tits at a steady pace. Kai didn't respond, his mouth completely agape as he pushed himself onto his elbows to watch you as you worked. 

“I said, does it feel good?” You grit out landing a quick smack to his thigh in an attempt to get him to use his words. He was a mess. 

“Yes!” He hissed “Feels s-so good.” 

“Better than your hand, huh.” You quirked, continuing to move your tits along his length. 

“Y-yes so much better.” His voice carried as a catalyst for you to keep going. His hips stuttered as you moved your tits fast along his length squeezing them together to create a tight hold on his throbbing cock. “Tight” His lips were lined with what looked like a tight lipped smile. You were surprised he was lasting this long for a virgin. You bobbed your head forward licking at his tip that poked out of your tits every once and while. A whine left his lips, high pitched and oh so adorable. 

“Close, baby?” You asked him, continuing your movements on his cock. 

“Mhm.” He mumbled watching where your tits and his cock met. There was no way his eyes were looking away from the sight. He was entranced, looking down at you with big doe eyes. His expression itself was enough to make you near your own end even without being touched. You rubbed your thighs together searching for some semblance of friction. 

“I-i’m going to cum-” Kai whined. He raised off the bed, jerking up creating more friction. “F-uck.” 

“That’s it.” You praised as ropes of his cum landed onto your tits painting them with his spend. “Good job.” You smiled, running your hands up and down his thighs in an attempt to calm him down. 

“You ok?” You asked, as he continued to breathe heavily. His nod was the only confirmation you received. 

“That was way better than my hand has ever been.” He chuckled, plopping down on the mattress. 

“If you thought that was good, wait until you feel how tight my pussy is.” You sent him a playful grin reaching for the hem of your skirt and panties in one, pulling them down until you were completely bare in front of him. Kai sat back up his eyes narrowing in on your body in all it’s naked glory. 

“Holy-” He stuttered, eyes adorably wide. 

“What?” You asked tilting your head playfully “Never seen a naked girl before?” 

“Not in the flesh.” He mumbled with red cheeks. “Only ever in porn.” 

You took it upon yourself to crawl onto the bed stopping just before him. “I assume you don't have any condoms?” 

“No..” He trailed off. 

“That’s ok.” You smiled straddling him. “I’m clean and on the pill.” You ran your hands up and down his shirt covered chest. Sitting fully naked on him, his cock resting on your thigh. You could feel the thump of his heart against his rib cage under your palms. It was cute how nervous he was.

“Are you ready?” You said, lifting his cock in your hand running your fist up and down on him. He gasped at the pleasure of your fist, licking his lips. 

“I’m ready.” He steadied his voice trying to show some dominance. You giggled at him before lifting your hips. You tapped his tip against your entrance before sinking down on him. You gasped slowly, allowing yourself to feel him all the way to the hilt. 

“Fuck.” You cursed. You steadied yourself on his chest, looking down to see him looking up at you. His mouth was slightly agape but no sound had fallen from his lips. His chest rising and falling. “You're big.” You grunted as you finally lifted yourself up, to slam yourself back down. 

“Oh god.” He hissed out. Kai grabbed onto your hips with an almost bruising grip. Moans fell from his lips like a mantra allowing himself to feel the pleasure coursing through his veins. “You feel so…warm.” 

“Touch me.” You pant grabbing his hand and bringing it to where your heat meets his pelvis. “Circle my clit- just like that.” 

Kai’s hips jerked up a surge of pleasure shooting up your spine at the sudden movement. “Oh-” 

“Keep doing that.” You hissed “Keep lifting your hips like that baby.” Your hand wrapped around the base of Kai’s throat squeezing at it. Kai’s hips lifted again, reaching places you didn't even know you could reach. His gasp was heard around the room as you tightened your hold on his neck. 

“I’m close, keep touching me.” You begged moving your hips faster against him. 

“I’m going to cum-” His voice loudly said you wouldn't be surprised if the rooms around you didn't hear. “Keep going.”

You continued your movements on him lifting yourself up and down chasing your high to the very end. 

“I’m-oh fuck.” Your orgasm hit you like a tidal wave, jerking your body forward onto his chest. Kai’s gasp was the only thing you heard as you felt his warm ropes of cum fill you to the brim inside of you. 

“Holy fuck.” He breathed, jerking his hips a bit more before stilling inside of you. His hands ran down the expanse of your back as the both of you fought to catch your breath. 

You sat up still inside of him, a smile reaching the corner of your lips. Kai’s eyes were wide as if he was just now realising what the two of you had done. 

“I have to admit..” You trailed off “Out of all my tutors I'd say you’re for sure my favorite.” 

taglist - (★) @izzyy-stuff , @beomiracles , @filmnings , @dawngyu , @hyukascampfire , @saejinniestar , @notevenheretbh1, @biteyoubiteme

[skzdust]

A Collar With A Tag

SMUT. MINORS DNI.

Mingi... alpha Mingi... my beloved... this is just a short little fic with NO plot but I love himmmmm

Shout out to @isawafilmtodayonbluejayway who put this idea on one of my request posts and gave me this idea 🫶 I love pet play and I love Mingi so thank you for getting me inspired!

Summary: You get home to find your roommate in rut, and he wants you to be his puppy.

Pairing: Alpha!Mingi x Omega!Afab!Reader

Includes: omegaverse/a/b/o, pet play, "puppy", "slut", mentions of collars, mentions of choking, knotting, coming inside, post-sex cuddles

Word count: 1.3k

Taglist (Comment on a post/send an ask if you'd like to be added): @weirdowithaphone, @caught-in-the-afterglow, @palindrome969, @skzstan12345, @katsukis1wife,

@hyunjinsjeans, @somethingkindazainy, @silverstarburst

Network:@mirohs-aurora-society

Reblogs, likes, comments all appreciated!!!

Masterlist

-----

The scent hit you the second you opened the door. Hot, needy, almost predatory.

And so distinctively Mingi it made you ache.

You locked the door behind you. “Mingi?” You called into the house. “You okay?”

There was no answer. You went up the stairs, dropping your things in your bedroom before knocking softly on the door to Mingi’s.

“Y/n…” Mingi moaned. “Come in.”

Mingi was laying back on the bed, sweat visible on his forehead from the door. He was breathing hard, panting, his hands folded on his lap.

“You okay?”

“I’m— I’m fine.”

You looked him up and down. “You don’t look fine.”

“I’m fine.” His teeth were gritted. “And if you come any further into this room I will pin you down and breed that omega cunt so full you’ll feel it for days.”

A wave of heat went through your body. “You’re in rut.”

“No shit.”

You took a step inside. “Is there anything I can get you? Do you want water, or—”

Mingi hadn’t been kidding, apparently, because he was on you in a second, grabbing your waist and picking you up before throwing you on the bed. You yelped. “Mingi—”

“Tell me to stop.” He growled. “Tell me to stop, and I will.”

You hesitated. “Mingi… we shouldn’t.”

“I don’t care.” His voice went dangerous. “I don’t give a a shit what we should or shouldn’t do. I need to breed something, and I’ve restrained myself from coming in and fucking you silly every heat you’ve had since I moved into this damn house with you, and now you’re here?” He laughed. “Fuck, I’ve wanted to turn you into my good little puppy for months now.”

You opened your mouth to whine, but Mingi was already working your jeans down your legs. “You ready for my alpha cock to split you open, puppy?”

“Yes.” You breathed.

“You’re not gonna be able to fucking speak when I’m done with you.” He threw your jeans somewhere over his shoulder. “But while you still can, beg like a good puppy should.”

You were already slick for him. You shifted your legs to try and hide your dripping pussy, but he was already pushing your thighs apart.

His scent shifted. He was even hornier now looking at you.

“Mingi, please.” You sobbed. “Please fuck me.”

“Better.” He snarled, hauling you up and tossing you closer to the center of his bed. Your hips pushed up desperately against the air.

“Please, Mingi, I’m your good puppy, I’ll be your good puppy, just tell me what to do!” You were aching bad at this point, so ready for Mingi’s cock it was all you could do not to jump on him yourself.

You had a feeling bad dogs would get reprimanded, though, and you didn’t want that, so you stayed on your back, shivering under his harsh gaze.

“You’re lucky I’m in rut, or I’d tease you a lot longer, but as it is right now, I just need to knot that slick cunt.” He took off his own pants, and your mouth practically dropped at seeing his cock. It was so big, you didn’t know how it would fit, with a knot so wide you were seeing stars before it was even inside you.

He lined himself up, looking at you with a smirk for a second before driving his whole cock inside you in one thrust.

You gasped for breath, the fullness overwhelming. Your gasping turned to whimpers and whines, and your hips pushed up to meet Mingi. “Fuck me!”

“You’d think you’re the one in heat here, not me.” He groaned, starting to fuck into you faster than you’d ever been fucked before. He seemed to read your mind. “I’m gonna ruin you for anyone else.” His thrusts grew impossibly faster. “You’re fucking mine, you hear me? My puppy slut, my toy to fuck.”

“Yes, Mingi!” You threw your head back. “Yes, God, you fill me up so full, ugh, don’t stop…”

“Good puppy.” His hand wrapped around your throat. “Too bad we don’t have a real collar right now, my hand will just have to do.”

“Get me a collar.” You whined. “Please, Mingi, want everyone to see I’m yours.”

“I’ll get you one with a tag. A collar with a tag. Mingi’s puppy. Would you like that?” His voice was low, ever-shifting with the effort he was putting into fucking you. “You would, wouldn’t you, slut?”

“Yeah.” Your eyes rolled back as his hand twitched around your neck. He wasn’t choking you, just holding your neck, an ever-present reminder— maybe a promise— that you were his, his plaything, his puppy. “Yeah, need that, Mingi.”

“Good fuckpet.”

Your breath was erratic. It felt like everything Mingi said had you gasping or whining or making some kind of pathetic little noise.

“I’m gonna knot you.” He continued. “Gonna fill you up with my cum, stuff you airtight. My puppy deserves it for being so well-behaved.”

“Please! Please.”

He kept fucking you, his fingers twitching on your neck, your hip. He felt so fucking big inside you, you had no idea how his knot would fit, but you were excited to see how good it would feel when Mingi stuffed it inside you. You had a feeling he would make it fit.

You didn’t have to wait long. “Gonna knot you, puppy.”

“Yes.” You groaned. “Yes, please.”

Mingi pushed inside and stayed inside, and from that feeling alone you could’ve come, but when his knot inflated and he was locked inside you, you were pushed over the edge into your climax. You shook as he filled you up, his fingers surely leaving bruises on your hips. He murmured a string of pet names, commands, and other dirty things as he came. “Good slut, good puppy, take me so well, take my cum so good. Look at you, you’re such a good girl, such a good girl for me.”

When he was done, he carefully moved both of you onto your sides so you were facing each other, locked together. He brushed a piece of hair off your face. “Did that feel good?”

You swatted him, but there was no real fire behind it. “It felt amazing, did you even need to ask that question? God, you feel so good.” You moaned as he shifted a bit, moving inside you.

“So you… you like being my puppy?”

“Yes, I like being your puppy.” You smiled at him. “I like being yours.”

He smiled back. “I’ve wanted you for a long time, y/n.”

“And I’ve wanted you.” You said softly.

“It’ll take some time before this rut’s over, you know…”

You laughed loudly. “You can just ask me to help me through your rut, Mingi.”

“Can you help me through my rut?”

“I’d—” You cut yourself off with a moan as he thrust shallowly inside you, the knot preventing him from doing too much. He smirked.

You rolled your eyes. “I was going to say I’d love to, but if you’re going to act like this the whole time—”

“I won’t, I won’t, I’m sorry.” He giggled, but then his eyes darkened as he looked at you. “You just feel so fucking good around me, I can’t resist.”

You closed your eyes, taking a deep breath. “Yes, Mingi, I would love to help you through your rut.”

He scooped you into a hug, and despite the giant cock inside you, you relaxed into him. “Thank you.”

“Of course.” You murmured, finding his hair and stroking through it with your fingers. “Anytime.”

[books-and-omens]

LOOK AT HIMMMMM

no shred of dignity left

I’m choking

[petricocked]

winter king nsfw hcs

writing wk again because im havjnf awful thoughts again 6 in the morning ermm awkward

very short little blurb to get this out of my system because i dont feel like writing another book

cw: pwp, wk calls reader princess, mild choking

he’s such a little brat.. wrap ur hands around his neck and he’ll literally cum in his pants

DID I MENTION HES BRATTY!!!! does not shut up he’s constantly whining for u

he’ll go crazy if u sit on his lap him fully clothed u in nothing!!!!!

make him get himself on ur leg!!! make him cry he crys so pretty

he wants to be taken care of!!!

chokeeee himmmmm he makes the prettiest little sounds

His teeth dug into his bottom lip, dangerously close to tearing the skin. You were positioned atop of him, hand furiously whacking at his cock.

did i mention how pretty his dick is!!!!! little above average length blue with a pretty pink tip :((( curved upwards too :(((

“Close, princess,” he hissed through clenched teeth.

————

i dont actually know what a blazer is and i still dk how to use tumblr

[pleasedonthurtcjstar]

Guys it’s been four fucking years and I still think about found footage. That story gets me so hyped. It’s like watching a sport but I’m just watching them murder people.

“He was alone for two years because you went boy crazy” and I’m like yasss gut him!!! Get his ass!!! You had one fucking job and you failed! Stab stab stab!!!!

“…bashing the emo boy's skull into the hard concrete” and I’m like YASSSSS fuck him uppppppp! No one asked for you snarky opinions!!! Shut him up forever!!!! Break his head!

“ ‘This is your fault, Patton. You shouldn't've told him what I said.’ He squeezes Patton's neck and the other boy gasps for air.” And I’m like yassss choke himmmmm!!! If you had kept your blubbering mouth shut you wouldn’t be gasping for air right now. Sorry isn’t enough sweet cheeks. Squeeze harderrrrrrr!!!!!

Me every time I read it I just get so hyped. This was the wrong fic to try to read myself to sleep to.

[borathae]

OMG BESTIE THE APPRENTICE IS AMAZING!

This au is so fascinating! Nilrem is merlin backwards! Your mind is 🤯!

I honestly don’t know where to start it was so good. Tae was the sweetest supportive friend. Hoseok was such a sweet gentle soul with big dreams. I’m glad he stood up for himself against the bullies. Ooh I love how oc blew off Sorceress Ciri for disrespecting Hoseok! My girls got sass and I’m here for it!

I knew something was up with the old lady! Thanks to your clues I figured it out before she showed up again.

Love the romantic tension between hoseok and oc! “He is already doing magic. Deep, deep in your chest where you pulse just doesn't want to slow down.” That line had me in a choke hold!

I love how the stone floated when Hosek visualized all the good people in his life helping him. A testament to positive thinking. Such a beautiful message. Can’t wait to see where life takes Hoseok next!

I LOVE YOU!! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING THIS STORY!! OMGMGM :(((

This au is so fascinating! Nilrem is merlin backwards! Your mind is 🤯!

hehehehheheh istfg I'm so happy that this lil easter egg has finally been discovered ohohoho 😏

I honestly don’t know where to start it was so good. Tae was the sweetest supportive friend.

I LOVE TAE SO MUCH!! like !! he is such a cutie patootie :(

Hoseok was such a sweet gentle soul with big dreams. I’m glad he stood up for himself against the bullies.

YES THIS !! I LOVE HIMMMMM

Ooh I love how oc blew off Sorceress Ciri for disrespecting Hoseok! My girls got sass and I’m here for it!

istfg me 🤝🏻 writing badass female OCs, I love my girlies strong and fearless hehehe

I knew something was up with the old lady! Thanks to your clues I figured it out before she showed up again.

OKAY I LOVE THIS!!! I'm so happy that you are figured out before the reveal hehe 😏😏

Love the romantic tension between hoseok and oc! “He is already doing magic. Deep, deep in your chest where you pulse just doesn't want to slow down.” That line had me in a choke hold!

BESTIE SAMEEMMEMEMEM

I love how the stone floated when Hosek visualized all the good people in his life helping him. A testament to positive thinking. Such a beautiful message. Can’t wait to see where life takes Hoseok next!

*cries* I LOVE HIM AND I'M SO EXCITED FOR THE NEXT PART AS WELL HEHEHEH

[melodygatesauthor]

Caro I don't even know what to say...

This was so good!!!!

Like...My body is READY

I'm a few days out from my period and I'm just thinking about how badly I wish I had himmmmm.

Also these lines:

"It's been a while, Miguel," you explained with wet eyes, "I haven't...in a while a-and you're so big—"

"I can't," you choked, your hips fighting against the offending pain, but Miguel was quick in securing you in place, continuing to spear you with his cock, "M-miguel, y-your too big, it's too much!"

Those lines murdered me. Someone needs to finish my incomplete works for my readers. They can blame you <3 hehehe ooof. I need a drink and a cigarette (doesn't smoke)

Scent

Miguel O’Hara X f!reader

Summary: It was an intoxicating scent. And he knew it was yours. (In which Miguel goes feral when you ovulate)

Word count: 4k+

Warnings: Language. Obvs. S m u t. Obvs. Oral, f receiving. P in V (no protection), cum eating. Cheesy probs. Reader says Miguel’s name a lot lmfao not beta read.

Minors DNI.

Honestly, I don’t know how any of this stuff works. This is some bullshit and none of it makes sense. Enjoy.

Keep reading

[pinkmirth]

not usually into choking, but reiner has awakened something in me. his biceps are thick and firm, absolutely perfect for a chokehold. his hands are large and authoritative and they belong around my NECK! plus, his muscular n juicy thighs? we all know he’s a footballer that never skips leg day, so don’t even get me startedddd. I just want this man to cut my air flow and give me a nasty fucking kiss… I need him desperately……

[aquagenesis]

they really just gave up with the golden deer timeskips designs after hilda and claude huh

[kitten4sannie]

FIRST OF ALLLLLLL LIKE IK WE’VE DISCUSSED SOME OF THE THINGS THAT WENT DOWN IN THIS FIC BUT MY GOD,, THE WAY YOU TURNED OUR UNHINGED RAMBLINGS INTO BEAUTIFULLY CRAFTED EROTIC POETRY ???? WHERE’S YOUR NOBEL PRIZE???? IF THERE WAS A SMUT CATEGORY YOU’D WIN FIRST PLACE EVERY SINGLE TIME AND I WOULD MAKE SURE TO BE THERE TO CLAP HARDER THAN WOO CLAPPED THE READER’S CHEEKS IN THIS FIC BRO. SHEDDING A TEAR AND YELLING “THAT’S MY BEST FRIEND RIGHT THEREEE”

ANYWAYS IM GONNA HAVE TO DO THIS IN TWO PARTS BC OF THE PIC LIMIT

IF YOU MENTION HIS NOSE ONE MORE TIME I WILL SUE YOU FOR EMOTIONAL DAMAGES SKSJHDDH NOT HER GRINDING ON THE CURVE OF HIS NOSE I AM IN SHAMBLESSSSS COMPLETE AND UTTER SHAMBLES OH MY GODDD

OH REALLYYYY????? DOES HE NOW???? GOD FUCKING DAMN

I LOVE HOW THIS WASNT EVEN THE PART YOU WANTED ME TO SCREAM AT BUT THE SPITTTT??? SAN SPITTING ON WOO’S HAND SO HE CAN LUBE UP HIS DICK AND JERK HIM OFF????

HOW DO I JUST MOVE ON FROM THAT HUH???

SQUIRT ??? SQUIRT?????????? HE’S GOING TO MAKE SAN SQUIRT???

I THINK THIS IS THE MOMENT I STARTED CHOKING ON MY OWN SALIVA BC I COULDN’T STOP DROOLING ALL OVER THE PLACE LIKE A GODDAMN HEATHEN - I ALMOST MET MY MAKER AND HONESTLY ID BE FINE WITH THAT BC THIS WOULD BE THE LAST THING I WOUDL EVER GET TO WITNESS 🧎🏻‍♀️

MEAN DOM WOOOOOOO 💥💥💥💥💥💥💥 I NEED HIMMMMM!!! IN EVERY HOLE !!! FILLING ME UP LIKE A PIÑATA BUT FULL OF CUM !! A CUMATA IF YOU WILL - SOMEONE PLEASE JUST PUT ME DOWN I CANT TAKE MUCH MORE OF THISSSSS

i will continue this in part two 😚

one more rep

masterlist

pairing: jung wooyoung x model fem!reader x choi san

w.c.: 6.9k

tags: smut, some fluff, friends to lovers, woosan are reader's personal trainers

san got a little too excited watching you exercise in purple – his favourite colour – and wooyoung was nothing if not a tease. turning their attention back to you, they didn't expect to see you as equally worked-up.

A/N: so this has been brewing in my little kettle for a while and bam! my longest fic yet, and probably the filthiest... I put my heart and soul into this one, so I really hope you enjoy! ^^ (pls ignore any inaccuracies in the exercises,, I start wheezing after one flight of stairs)

warnings under the cut - minors dni!! 🔞

─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───

warnings: mean dom!wooyoung, soft dom!san, they're switches for each other though, wooyoung has a nipple piercing + a tramp stamp (hehe), san has finger tattoos, degradation (a little bit; reader gets called a slut/cockslut), praise (a lot), so much dirty talk, a hint of dacryphilia, nipple play (m & f), face sitting, oral sex (m & f receiving), face fucking, fingering (f), squirting, pussy slapping, overstimulation, handjob, mxm, spit kink (so much spit...), snowballing, cum eating/swallowing, unprotected sex (👎🏼), multiple creampies, multiple orgasms, some humping, aftercare, nicknames (youngie, good boy; sannie; baby, pretty girl, good girl, sweetheart, darling), they're all idiots in love <3

─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───

San’s knees dug into the yoga mat under him, his hands – decorated with the black ink of his tattoos – secured around your calves, holding them in place while you finished up your last set of sit-ups. He could feel your muscles contract every time you pushed yourself up, relaxing momentarily as you laid back down on the mat. He often found his eyes wandering over the purple material hugging your figure, the way your shorts rode up your thighs each time you pushed yourself off the mat. With every powerful sit-up, he held his breath at how close your face would get to his – enough for him to breathe in the sweet scent of your perfume mixed in with the tanginess of your sweat, your soft exhale blowing over his face.

It had been years since your agency reached out to San’s company, hiring him and Wooyoung as your personal trainers. The three of you had developed an easy friendship, your sessions now packed with inside jokes and banter. Recently, however, you often found yourself looking at them differently – your heart racing whenever San’s hands brushed over your skin, skipping a beat at Wooyoung’s never-ending praise. As a model, you were required to remain fit, and despite the torturous exercises the pair put you through, you were glad you were able to see them regularly.

A gentle squeeze to San’s nape caught his attention, Wooyoung hovering over him with a coy smile on his face. One look over his shoulder and he could see the weights for the next exercise set up neatly in the corner.

“What’s got you so distracted? Can’t you see she’s barely making it halfway up?” Wooyoung’s tone was playful, but both your face and San’s flushed at his comment – you, because he’d caught you slacking off, and San, because he’d called him out for not paying attention.

You propped yourself up on your elbows, your chest heaving as the past two hours of taxing exercises caught up with you, sweat trickling down your temples.

“Cut me some slack, Youngie, I’m tiiired!” You whined, letting your head fall back, eyes shut while you caught your breath.

Wooyoung kneeled beside you, running his hand over the top of your head gently. “Yeah, yeah, take five minutes to rest then we’ll move on.” He smirked when you began complaining, pinching your cheek and pulling at the skin teasingly.

Looking back at San, Wooyoung’s smirk widened, teeth peeking out from between his lips when he caught sight of the man’s demeanour – his eyes moving between the two of you, hands still holding your legs, albeit slightly tighter than he had been earlier, his veins popping out while he shifted uncomfortably on his knees. Wooyoung’s eyes trailed further down, noticing the forming tent in San’s dark sweatpants, a scoff escaping his lips.

“What’s got our Sannie so excited?”

San’s whole body jerked at Wooyoung’s mocking tone – and the innuendo behind it – instinctively pulling his hands closer to his body and dragging your legs with them. You sucked in a breath when San’s hips pressed against you before immediately drawing them, abruptly standing up and turning away from the two of you. You could see the bright red creeping up the back of his neck, San’s shaky hands scratching nervously at the heated skin.

“I-I-” San stuttered, roughly clearing his throat while he took quick peeks over his shoulder to attempt eye contact. “I-I’m so sorry- I don’t know why-”

Wooyoung chuckled, standing up and wrapping an arm around San’s shoulders, his eyes flitting down to his concealed bulge before he looked back up to speak. “Don’t worry about it, dude. I’m sure our (Y/n) understands, right?” They both looked back at you expectantly, and you nodded your head quickly. “See? Just take a walk and calm down. I’ll continue the session with (Y/n).”

Wooyoung let go of the flustered man, giving him a playful pat on his ass before turning around to face you again. His eyebrows shot up at the sight of you, taking in the way your thighs rubbed against each other, your eyes glazed over and fixed on San’s back. Wooyoung cleared his throat, startling you back to reality, and you instinctively relaxed your legs, giving him a full view of the darkened material at your crotch.

A wave of heat rushed to your face upon noticing Wooyoung’s gaze slipping down to your core, squeezing your thighs together again and sitting up. His head tilted to the side amusingly, a sly smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. He reached back to grab San’s arm before he had the chance to leave, twisting him around to face you.

“Or… Would our precious (Y/n) like to help Sannie out instead?”

--

You rolled your hips over Wooyoung’s face, gasping around San’s cock when the tip of his nose brushed against your clit. It took the man under you a few seconds to notice you grinding on his nose, soft whimpers vibrating over San’s cock as you took him in deeper, swallowing around his cockhead and revelling in the groans you drew out of him.

Wooyoung’s hands slipped under your ass, his biceps bulging as he adjusted your position until your clit was directly over his nose and his tongue at your entrance. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head when Wooyoung slipped his tongue inside you, curving it along your walls to press against the spongy spot that made your back arch. He could feel your thighs shaking around his face, moving it from side to side to nuzzle his nose against your clit, drinking up your arousal as it gushed into his open mouth.  

He pulled away, sliding his tongue over his bottom lip before speaking. “I know you love my nose on your pussy, but don’t you dare cum before San does.”

You hummed around San, hearing him grunt above you as he slid his cock over your tongue, a shallow thrust to remind you of his presence, but you couldn’t process the action when Wooyoung’s tongue was back inside you, mercilessly pushing into your g-spot, your orgasm rapidly building up in your lower belly. So you just sat there, rutting over Wooyoung’s face with your mouth stretched open around San’s throbbing cock.

San’s hands reached into your hair, the strands draping over his tattooed fingers as he gently tugged at the roots, throwing his head back when your moans vibrated against his length. He held your face and pulled you off him, bending at the waist to look at you with desperate eyes.

“(Y/n), darling, fuck- can I fuck your mouth? Please, I’ll be gentle, please-”

Yes, you wanted to say, but all that came out were gargled moans as Wooyoung tongued at your entrance, teasing your hole with the wet muscle, slipping it in and out as he pleased. He pulled off your cunt to speak, holding you over his face.

“You’ll let Sannie fuck your throat, right?” Wooyoung smirked against your skin when he saw you nodding frantically above him, San’s hands cupping your cheeks and his cock jumping in your mouth. “Be a good girl and open up then,” he tapped your thigh, bringing you back down on his face.

Between Wooyoung’s tongue ruthlessly prodding against your g-spot, your hips moving on their own to grind against the curve of his nose, and San’s heavy cock fucking into your mouth, you were left an incoherent, moaning mess with drool streaming down your chin.

“Fuuuck, baby, you feel so good-” A throaty moan ripped out of San, his fingers tugging on your hair to push you all the way down his length, his jaw slack as he watched your eyes well up with tears while you held back from gagging. “Shit- I’m not gonna last.”

You were a breath away from tumbling over the edge, thighs burning as you rode Wooyoung’s face, his tongue sending shocks of pleasure soaring through your abdomen. Strong hands wrapped around your hips, bringing you down on his face and wrapping his lips around your clit. It took two harsh sucks for you to fall apart, your whole body shaking with the force of your orgasm. You felt Wooyoung’s teeth brushing over your clit, giving the swollen bud a small nibble before pulling away and slipping out from under you.

San was in heaven, his cock twitching on your tongue as your soft moans sent waves of ecstasy up his spine. But then Wooyoung’s hands were slapping his off you, pulling you away from him to lay you down on the mat.

“W-wait! I was so close!” San complained, reaching his hand towards you only to have it brushed away again. “Just a little more, p-please-“

“You’ll have her back later,” Wooyoung gave him a stern look, and San backed away, wrapping his hand around the base of his cock with a defeated exhale. He settled down on his knees, watching as Wooyoung turned his attention back to you, your thighs still twitching with the force of your orgasm. His cock throbbed when he saw Wooyoung’s face, drenched in your arousal, his eyes ablaze with the purest forms of lust. San’s eyes moved to Wooyoung’s hand, veins protruding from the skin as he sunk two fingers into your sopping heat, leaning down to whisper in your ear. “You just had to be a little slut didn’t you? Was my mouth on your pussy and Sannie’s cock down your throat not enough for you?”

“F-felt too good, Youngie, I couldn’t help it!” You writhed under him, his long fingers ruthlessly pounding into you and building you up to a second orgasm.

“Aw, you couldn’t help cum before Sannie? All because my tongue felt too good in your cunt?”

“Uh-huuh- s-so good!”

Your eyes rolled back when Wooyoung’s other hand reached for your clit, rolling it between two fingers while he continued his tormenting.

“But I wanted to see you choke on Sannie’s cum,” he bit down on your jaw, slipping his fingers out as soon as your walls began clamping down on them, smirking when you looked up at him in shock.

“Youngiee, ‘wanna cum!”

You were too focused on Wooyoung’s face to notice his hand coming down on your cunt, the sharp slap reverberating in the empty gym. Your hips jolted off the mat when he landed another slap on your clit, your hole clenching around air.

“I don’t think you deserve it, though,” Wooyoung jutted out his lips in a faux pout, quickly turning into a smile when he saw tears running down the sides of your face. “Aww, you wanna cum that bad?”

You nodded desperately, angling your hips towards him, only to be met with another harsh slap to your cunt, letting out a strangled cry that bled into moan when Wooyoung’s fingers sunk into you again, continuing their rough pace. You felt pressure building in your lower belly, flashes of heat rushing through your body as Wooyoung drew out desperate whimpers from your lips, leaning down to press wet kisses to your skin. He trailed his tongue over the sides of your face, licking away your tears as you finally came undone on his fingers.

Wooyoung sat back on his heels, pulling his fingers out to watch as clear liquid squirted out your fluttering hole, your thighs shaking uncontrollably as you gushed all over the mat and Wooyoung’s clothed thighs. He couldn’t help himself, bringing four fingers down on your clit, delivering a sharp slap to your cunt, then again, until you were convulsing under him, pushing his hands off you as the overstimulation became too much.

Wooyoung pulled back, watching violent tremors pass through your body, your eyes shut as you basked in the aftershocks of your orgasm. His eyes moved to San, bending at the waist beside you to press a chaste kiss to your cheek, pausing to gauge your reaction before placing another on your forehead. The scene in front of him was sweet, intimate – despite San being naked from the waist down – and Wooyoung felt the insatiable need to disturb it.

San flinched when Wooyoung pressed himself to his back – so close he could feel the metal bar piercing one of his nipples brush against his clothed spine – hooking his chin over his shoulder and wrapping his arm around his small waist to press his palm to San’s hard abdomen.

“What are you doing?” San tried to ignore the shakiness of his voice, hoping Wooyoung didn’t notice, though the grin on the other man’s face told him he did.

“You said you were close,” Wooyoung sounded, his fingers toying with the hem of San’s compression shirt before sliding down to rest over his snail trail, the barely-there touch making the hair on San’s arms stand. “I thought you might need a helping hand.”

San didn’t reply, only sucked in a breath once Wooyoung’s fingers wrapped around the base of his cock, his eyes half-shut as he revelled in the friction the other man provided. He angled his head downwards, moving his tongue around in his mouth before letting it roll out, a line of his spit steaming down to meet Wooyoung’s hand, easing the slide over his leaking cock. San’s head lolled back onto the younger man’s shoulder, soft moans slipping through his lips while Wooyoung built a steady pace, squeezing around his base every time he drew his hand back.

“A-ah, fuck, ‘gonna cum,” San’s voice was strained, his chest rapidly rising and falling as Wooyoung twisted his hand around his cockhead, collecting the absurd amount of precum leaking from the tip and coating the rest of his shaft with it. “Don’t stop, I’m so close-”

“I didn’t know you could make cute noises like this, Sannie,” Wooyoung purred, his lips pressed to the shell of his ear, smirking when he felt San’s dick twitch in his hand. “Careful, I might end up making you squirt too.”

With Wooyoung’s hand avidly pumping his length, his warm breath blowing against his ear, the raspiness of his voice echoing in his head, San’s whole body shuddered as his high washed over him, hot ropes of cum painting your chest, some of it falling on your neck and chin. His heavy grunts were like music to Wooyoung’s ears, his hand squeezing out every last drop of San’s release until the older man was an overstimulated, whimpering mess, pushing him away from his softening member.

Falling limp on his knees, it only took San a couple seconds to zero in on your tits, following the cum sliding down their slope and leaving a translucent tint on your nipples. With two fingers, he smeared his release over your perked-up buds, taking one between his pointer and thumb and tweaking it until you were whining under him. San was awestruck, his body moving on its own, scooping up some of the cum on his fingers and bringing it up to your mouth – already open and waiting. He nearly moaned at the way your tongue circled his tattooed digits, your cheeks hollowing to suck them clean, prompting him to pull out only to collect more of his release and feed it to you.

Just as you were about to gulp down the bitter liquid, Wooyoung’s voice reminded you of his presence. A simple, “Don’t swallow,” and you were frozen in place, your mouth remaining open even after San pulled his fingers out.

Wooyoung was back on his knees beside you, leaning down to press his lips to yours, his tongue slipping inside to lick up San’s release, collecting it in his mouth before sitting back up. Twisting his body to face the older man, he grabbed his jaw firmly, squeezing it until his cheeks squished together and his lips parted. It happened in slow motion – Wooyoung’s lips pursing, tongue moving around as he collected the mixture of liquid before spitting it directly into San’s mouth and leaning down to connect their lips. San couldn’t process what had happened, but Wooyoung kissing him left him breathless, his eyes fluttering shut as he felt him graze the roof of his mouth. It was only when he felt the other man’s tongue push the compound of spit and cum down his throat that his eyes snapped open, instantly meeting Wooyoung’s – already agape, lidded as they watched his blissed-out face.

Wooyoung’s other hand wrapped loosely around San’s neck, keeping his eyes fixed on his face, his teeth nipping at his bottom lip. Knowing exactly what the younger man wanted, San swallowed down his cum, maintaining a neutral expression as the tangy liquid washed down his throat. Wooyoung’s lips lifted after he felt his Adam’s apple bob under his palm, pulling away from San and letting his arm fall to his side, a triumphant smirk gracing his features.  

It was as if they had forgotten about your presence, emitting a small noise to draw their attention back to you. Two heads twisted to face you, eyebrows raising and eyes following your fingers as they carried San’s cum to your mouth, your tongue licking them clean. Your gaze was fixed on Wooyoung, taking in the sweat shining on his temples, his slightly parted lips – glossy from San’s spit – and finally, the tent in his sweatpants, throbbing at the sight of you. Your free hand reached for his shirt and tugged at the dark material, pulling your fingers out of your mouth to speak.

“Please, Youngie, w-want you,” you pulled at his shirt, finally breaking Wooyoung out of the trance he was in.

Throwing his shirt off, Wooyoung fitted himself between your legs, leaning down to mouth against your neck, the metal bar piercing his nipple cold where it pressed into your heated skin. “Did one little kiss make our pretty slut wet again?” He scoffed at the shy nod you gave in response, trailing his lips down to your chest and taking one of your nipples into his mouth, licking off the remnants of San’s cum. You arched your back, pushing your tits further into Wooyoung’s mouth and whimpering when he slid his leaking tip through your folds. “You’re so cute,” he brought his face back up to yours, the corners of his lips curled into an impish smile. “You want Youngie’s cock that bad?”

Just as you were about to stutter out a response, Wooyoung pushed his cock past your entrance, sheathing his whole length between your pulsating walls and groaning into your neck. “Fuuuck, you’re so tight for me, darling.”

Wooyoung gave you two seconds to adjust to the stretch before he began pounding into your sopping heat, his hands gripping your waist and his face buried into the crook of your neck.

“W-wait- hnnngh!” Your hands flew to his back, nails digging into the skin whole your body jolted upwards on the mat every time he slammed his hips into you. “S-slow down!”

“I thought you wanted me?” Wooyoung pulled away to take in your fucked-out expression, broken moans making his cock twitch inside you as he drove it directly into your g-spot.

“Y-yes, but-”

“So you’ll shut up and take me,” he held your jaw firmly, his other hand sliding down to your hip. “You’ll be my pretty little cocksleeve from now on, won’t you?” You felt a flash of heat shooting down to your core, your thighs twitching around Wooyoung, moans muffled as he squished your cheeks together, your lips parting as you stared into his eyes pleadingly. He used the hand on your face to give your head a curt shake, his chest heaving despite the stern look on his face. “I asked you a question.”

You nodded desperately, crying out a quick succession of yes and please. Wooyoung eased his grip on your jaw before pulling his hand away entirely, eying your parted lips momentarily before shoving two of his fingers into your mouth and hooking them behind your bottom teeth to open them further. You felt the hot wad of spit land on your tongue, mewling as it trickled down your throat, Wooyoung’s cock sliding against your walls deliciously, making the room around you blur so all your attention could go to the man ravishing you as though you were his last meal.

Knowing Wooyoung wouldn’t relent, you looked up at the man who would. San stared right back at you, his cock already half hard and twitching at the sight of you – thighs shaking violently around Wooyoung, sweat reflecting off your flushed skin, tears pooling in your eyes as he relentlessly fucked himself into you. San spotted the slight wobbling of your bottom lip, your tears now flowing down the sides of your face while broken moans and cries ripped through your chest, Wooyoung thrusting into you like an animal in heat, his own grunts muffled by your skin.

San slid himself behind Wooyoung and cupped his hips, hooking his chin over the other man’s shoulder to eye the drool leaking out the corner of your mouth.

“Look at her, all fucked out and sensitive,” San spoke softly, his hot breath blowing against Wooyoung’s ear, a shiver shaking the latter’s body. “Slow down a little-”

“Get off me, ‘don’t wanna slow down,” he interrupted, pressing his cockhead into your sweet spot and rolling his hips to drag his length further into you before returning to his unrelenting pace.

“But you have to, Youngie. You can’t break her yet, not before I’ve had my turn with her pretty cunt.” San’s fingers dug into the younger man’s hips, his biceps flexing as he used his strength to slow him down. Wooyoung resisted at first, but his eyes caught the way San’s hands gripped his hips – veins popping out and fingers turning white, making his tattoos look more prominent – and allowed him to guide his cock into you. “There we go,” San leaned forward to press a faint kiss to his jaw. “Good boy.”

His hands eased their hold on Wooyoung’s hips to travel up his body, feeling the muscles tense under his warm touch. San slid his cock over his perky ass, eyebrows raising and when he noticed the dainty butterfly tattooed over his tailbone, sensing himself getting harder. His fingers tweaked Wooyoung’s nipple, tugging at the metal bar until he was whimpering on top of you, biting down on his bottom lip while grinding into your clenching cunt. San brushed his thumb over the tramp stamp, smearing the precum that leaked from his tip over the black ink while rutting on Wooyoung’s ass.

The visual of San licking up the sweat off Wooyoung’s neck paired with the younger man’s heavy cock grinding into you was enough to push you over the edge again, your walls clamping down on him as black dots danced in your vision. You grabbed onto Wooyoung’s biceps, your hips frantically rolling to meet his languid thrusts while you begged him to fuck you through your high, breathing out a series of please and faster. Wooyoung’s hips picked up their pace, fucking into you as his own desperate moans escaped through his lips.

Your nails dug into Wooyoung’s skin when pleasure faded into pain from overstimulation, your toes curling and tears staining your skin, your body jerking every time he drove his cock into you.

“Just a little longer, shit, I’m so fucking close-”

San pressed himself to Wooyoung’s back, sliding his cock down his ass to brush over his perky hole, his cockhead pressing into the fluttering entrance – but not quite breaching it – while harshly tugging on his nipple. Wooyoung nearly saw stars, his eyes rolling back when he finally emptied inside you, warmth spreading through your abdomen as his hot cum filled you up, some of it leaking out while his cock was still inside you. He pulled his softening member out and flopped down on the mat beside you, his chest heaving as he recovered from his orgasm. Twisting his head to look at you, Wooyoung brushed a knuckle over your cheekbone to wipe away a stray tear, the fondness lacing his expression so gentle it sent a wave of warmth to your cheeks. Wooyoung looked like he was about to say something, but San was wrapping you up in his arms, and the words died on his tongue.

Gentle fingers smoothed down your hair and soft lips peppered feathery kisses over the tears drying on your cheeks. San’s hands slid over your arms, gentle fingers massaging the tense muscles. “You’re okay,” he muttered against your skin, “I’m here.” He brushed back the hair matted to your forehead, pressing a kiss to the slick skin before drawing back to study your face. A smile lifted the corners of his mouth at the peacefulness of your features, leaning back down to slot his lips against yours, fitting himself against your body – his shirt already off and thrown to the side – humming when your fingers ran through his hair. You parted your lips for him, allowing his tongue access to slip into your mouth, sliding over your front teeth before pushing against your own. You caged his hips in with your thighs, locking your ankles behind his knees to bring him closer, releasing breathy moans that San happily swallowed up.

“Sannie, ‘want you…” you mumbled against his lips, his own traveling down to press wet kisses over your chin and jawline.

“Are you sure, baby? You don’t need more time?”

Despite his concern, his tone was breathy, a subtle whine to his voice. Looking down between your bodies, you glanced at San’s cock – the tip red and angry, twitching when he caught you looking at it. So you shook your head, perhaps a little too eager.

“Want you now,” you insisted, sliding your hand down to grab him at the base, squeezing your fingers around him and relishing the groan it pulled out of the man on top of you.

San allowed you to guide him to your fluttering hole, dipping his cockhead into the stream of cum still leaking out of you before brushing it over your clit, your whole body shuddering under him. He angled his head down and spat on his cock, watching your ephemeral shock shift into arousal, coating his length with his saliva before dragging it back down to your hole. San’s mind fogged up when he finally pushed into you, his mouth hanging open as your searing heat enveloped him. Your sharp hiss brought him back to the present, promptly cupping your cheek and examining your face, landing one kiss after the other onto the flushed skin.

“I’m here, baby, does it hurt? Do you want to stop?” He glided his hand over your thigh, fingers digging into the plush skin before releasing it, his eyes soft as they took in your reactions.

You shook your head, using your legs – still locked at the ankles behind his knees – to push him further into you. “No, ‘feels good, Sannie,” you assured him, your nails scratching at his scalp.

“Yeah?” Aside from the cocky smirk curling the corner of his mouth, San looked absolutely fucked – lidded eyes, glazed over with lust, red spread out in splotches over his chest, heaving as he resisted the urge to thrust into you. “Am I making my pretty girl feel good?”

You nodded and rolled your hips into his, silently begging him to move. And taking one look at your teary eyes, San couldn’t help but oblige, drawing his hips back and thrusting into your heat, a harmony of moans ripping through the both of you. San felt so good, his cock brushing over your walls just right with every languid grind, fleeting touches to your skin only adding fuel to the fire burning within you. Using the hand in his hair, you pulled him down to close the gap between you, your tongues dancing in the middle before you began taking turns sucking them into each other’s mouths, slobber dripping down the sides of your face.

Firm fingers grasped your chin, startling you away from San and twisting your face to the side. Wooyoung was propped up on his elbow, looking down at you with a hooded eyes while he swiped away the spit leaking from your mouth.

“Look at our pretty cockslut taking Sannie so well… I bet he’s been waiting so long to have you, haven’t you, loverboy?” Wooyoung cooed, directing his gaze to the man on top of you and blinking innocently, a wicked smile on his lips.

It took San a few seconds to process what the man had said, the haze of pleasure clouding his brain. His hands flew to your ears when the words became coherent – an attempt to shield you from the feelings he had repressed behind locked doors, feelings he was willing to shroud so long as he was by your side, content to simply exist in your presence. His ears turned bright red, the tint spreading to his face and all the way down his chest. San’s heart slammed against his chest and into yours, its rapid pace almost alarming.

“Ya! S-shut up!”

“What? You don’t think everyone already knows about your little crush?” Wooyoung twirled a strand of San’s hair around his finger, mockingly pouting his lips at the flustered man.

Just before San could retaliate, delicate hands cradled his face and brought his gaze back to you. He nearly melted into the floor, mooning over the softness in your eyes – wide and glimmering – as they looked up at him. Mouthing “it’s okay,” you gave him quick, reassuring nod, a certain promise cloaked behind the glint in your eyes.

It was as though the weight of the world had lifted off San’s chest, his eyebrows raising as he fully took in the insinuation in your expression, eyes tearing up for a few seconds before he dropped his head down to connect your lips once again. The kiss was desperate but gentle, soft nibbling on your bottom lip, San’s hot tongue pressing against your own before pulling away to trail his lips down your face to your neck.

“You’re so perfect,” he mumbled against your pulse point, “so beautiful.” He revelled in the airy moans you breathed out while he sucked a bruise into your skin, then another, before licking a stripe up your neck to lightly sink his teeth into your jaw.  “Want everyone to know we’re the only ones who can have you like this.”

We – the pluralism sent the butterflies in your stomach on a rampage. Before your attention could shift to the neglected man to your side, San drew his length out until only the tip was left inside you, your walls desperately clenching down on it while you whined at the loss. But then he was pushing back in, finally fucking himself into your weeping cunt, your arousal mixed with Wooyoung’s cum squelching every time San’s cock pumped into you.

“Let me know if it’s too much, sweetheart,” San’s tone was so gentle, and yet you couldn’t ignore the growl in his voice while he basked in the flaring heat of your walls, his attentive eyes full of want.

“More,” you pleaded, your eyes never leaving San’s while he adjusted his position.

Wooyoung’s hand suddenly gripped the underside of your thigh and pulled it towards him to spread you out for San, leaning down to press a chaste kiss to your cheekbone. San dug his knees into the mat, pushing further into you and remaining still for a few seconds until you began whining again. With a breathy chuckle, he began pistoning his hips into you, praise rolling off his tongue as your walls contracted around him. The world around him faded away until only you remained – the sweet succession of his name, the pleasure painting your features, the gentle tugging against his scalp where your fingers tangled in his hair. San couldn’t focus on anything else.

Until rough fingers made their way between your bodies, sliding his arm behind your knee to reach the place where you were connected. Making a ‘v’ shape with his fingers, Wooyoung hooked them around San’s cock, nearly moaning when he felt the way it stretched you open. A rough “ah” ripped through San’s throat, thrusting inside you to feel your cunt squeezing down on him then pulling out to revel in the glide of Wooyoung’s fingers around his slick base.

When he thought he couldn’t get any harder, Wooyoung leaned in to whisper in his ear – low and sultry while his fingers dipped lower to cup his balls. “How does it feel to fuck my load into her, Sannie?”

With a flabby squeeze to his sack, Wooyoung felt it empty as San finally came, his whole body shuddering as his orgasm washed over him, emptying his load deep inside you. San cursed under his breath, slowly fucking his cum into your used cunt while it spurted out of him, his cock throbbing at the sight of you writhing with the need to come. Wooyoung’s hand slipped off San when he moved to pull out, moving to spread you out again and watching the other man’s cum mix with his own while it leaked out of your gaping hole. He eyed how you clenched around nothing for a few seconds before San’s fingers slipped back inside you, the black ink adoring them turning glossy with your arousal.

“I’ve got you, darling,” he leaned down to pepper your face with soft pecks, his fingers hammering into you and curling into your g-spot. “Will our sweet girl give us one more?”

You nodded desperately, tears streaking down your face and moans slipping through your lips without restraint. Wooyoung’s hand kneaded your thigh, his eyes fixed on your swollen clit, visibly contemplating something in his head. You were too busy relishing the tender kisses San dropped on your heated skin to notice Wooyoung’s hand dropping on your pussy, the sharp sting making your body jolt under San. The pain from Wooyoung’s slap paired with San’s fingers mercilessly hammering into your cunt made your eyes roll to the back of your head, your thighs shaking rabidly as the pressure building in your lower belly released, sending you tumbling into your orgasm. You nails dug into San’s biceps and your hips simultaneously pushed to meet his thrusts and pulled away from them, delirious after being dragged over the edge so many times.

San’s fingers slowed as you came down from your high, tapping against the spongy spot along your walls and taking in how your hips jerked at his ministrations. Just as he pulled out of you, Wooyoung’s hand landed another sharp slap to your clit, making you cry out from the overstimulation. But before San could berate him for it, it was like a dam broke within you, hot liquid squirting out of your fluttering hole.

The two men simply watched the scene unfold before them for a few moments before San's body began moving on its own. With a hand to the back of his head, San dragged Wooyoung down to your cunt, taking in how his mouth opened on its own to catch everything you had to give him. San’s fingers tugged at the younger man’s hair, pushing his head into your mound and observing how his tongue rolled out to lick over your entrance, taking the concoction of San’s cum and his own into his mouth and swallowing it down.

You watched as Wooyoung sat back up, taking San’s hands and slipping the fingers that had been fucking into you inside his mouth, hollowing his cheeks and sucking them clean. San eyed him with lidded eyes, studying the slide of the younger man's tongue over his trimmed nails. Before he could process Wooyoung’s head moving closer, he had already sealed his lips against San’s, sliding his tongue into his mouth to give him a taste of all of you combined. An unpleased whine rumbled through San’s chest when Woooyoung pulled away, his glossy lips forming a pout when he gave the tip of San’s nose a kitten lick and shot him a playful wink.

Wooyoung’s attention was back on you before San could even blink, spreading out beside your worn-down body and gliding a gentle palm down your side. San did the same, flopping down opposite to Wooyoung and brushing the hair off your face, leaning over you to press a tender kiss to your forehead.

“Is a five minute break enough before we start the next rep?” Wooyoung joked, giggling when you swung a limp arm into his chest.

“You’re insufferable,” you laughed, noting how San’s chest vibrated against your shoulder with his own giggles.

Wooyoung pressed his lips to your cheek, holding them in place for a few seconds before drawing back, only to plant a series of kisses down your neck and to your collarbones. “Are you feeling okay? Was it too much? I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

Your eyes softened at the concern lacing Wooyoung’s tone and you smoothed down the furrow of his eyebrows with a gentle thumb. Shaking your head, you brushed the hair off his face and spoke. “You didn’t hurt me, Youngie. I-I really liked it... all of it,” you mumbled the last part, a faint blush warming your cheeks at the admission. You could see Wooyoung's worry dissipating, a witty comeback at the tip of his tongue.

“(Y/n),” San drew your attention back to him before Wooyoung could tease you, noticing his burning ears and the fiddling of his fingers at your waist. “Earlier, you…” he cleared his throat, and you fought the smile off your lips while watching him struggle to express himself. You saw him gather up the courage to pry open the door he’d welded shut long ago. “I want you,” he blurted out, “a-and I don’t mean only in this way,” he flailed his hands between your bodies before reaching down to lock his fingers with yours, his anxiety turning into panic and making your heart swell with fondness. “I want all of you, I want to make you happy and-” he sucked in a deep breath before continuing. “I-I guess, all I’m asking for is a chance.”

“San-”

“You’re playing dirty, you dickhead!” Wooyoung interrupted, wrapping a protective arm around your waist. “Don’t try to steal her away for yourself!”

Your eyebrows raised in shock, trying to process the situation brought on by the two men bickering on either side of you, arguing about who would get the princess when the princess herself was unsure of what she wanted. Your infatuation with San was undeniable, every fleeting touch left your skin burning for days, every smile directed towards you had the butterflies in your stomach going rabid, eating at the insides of your stomach. Everything about Choi San was warm – his eyes, his words, his expression, all were laced with scotching heat, leaving you burning from within.

Whatever it was you felt towards Wooyoung was fiery, fervent, leaving you dazed and confused – what was it about him that drew you in? Perhaps it was his playfulness, or was it the way he changed up on you? One second Wooyoung was a friend and the other he was dropping subtle hints – a flirtatious wink, or a hand on your hip that held its place for a second too long for it to be friendly. You’d simply assumed him to be a flirt by nature, though one peek at his interactions with other women and you were proven wrong: Jung Wooyoung only treated you this way – as though you painted the clouds on the blue sky with your bare hands – and you found yourself rejoicing in that fact. Perhaps you’d already made up your mind, and it was simply your denial and cowardice that had held you back this whole time.

“What if-” you began, both men ceasing their banter and turning to look at you. You swallowed nervously, your mouth dry and your heart beating wildly against your ribcage. “What if I wanted… both of you?” You looked between their shocked faces, your voice small as you uttered the next question. “Is that too much to ask?”

“No!” They replied in unison, the intensity of their voices startling you.

Relief rushed through you and you closed your eyes to revel in the moment, the two men back to speaking over each other, going on about how they would do anything make you happy – “happier than a child at Disneyland,” San specified. The squabbling persisted even while they cleaned you up and helped you into your clothes, San shouting back at Wooyoung while he guided you through your cool-down stretches, the other man cleaning up the floor and wiping down the equipment.

As boisterous as they were, you found yourself smiling adoringly at the two men fighting over who would drive you home – matters that were trivial to you, but somehow meant the world to them. In the back of your mind, you knew you had a lot to talk about and discuss to ensure everyone was content, but right now, you couldn’t help but savour the pleasant feeling in your stomach, the soft fluttering of butterflies as two men you thought the world of doted on you. Their eyes were full of adoration, fingers twitching with the urge to hand-pick the stars from the night sky to make into a necklace for you, hoping it would come close to shining as bright as you do.

apply for my tag list here (´｡• ᵕ •｡`) ♡

[666shiki]

IM SO MAD IM JUST SO MAD I;; M ABOUT TO SCREAM. IM JUST SILENTLY RAGING IN MY ROOM , Im JUST SO FURIOUS

[harryfeatgaga]

Yeah Twitter trolls can choke because who cares H doesn’t see that stuff he’s probably never on Twitter he is barely ever on IG I don’t think he’s bothered like... at all lmao in the slightest. He knows and has learned not to scroll and look at hate it’s not good. He’s fine lmao that’s why we (me, Paige and others who block those annoying people on Twitter) don’t care lmao they honestly look stupid af talking to a brick wall because nobody aside from other crazy stans is paying attention

lmfao for real

Anonymous said: watching weirdos on twitter being fake woke or foaming at the mouth over a man wearing a dress while harry is living his best life, maybe currently cooking some dinner bc he’s hungry and drinking a lil wine gives me serotonin, my mans is living his best life truly unbothered, i love that for him 😌

WE LOVE THAT FOR HIMMMMM

Anonymous said: scrolling through the dash and accidentally following someone :// but now i’ll feel bad if i unfollow them akdjas

LMAOOOOO

[i-miss-my-90gb]

A fuckin pun……dies

[mostsanekaitofan]

KAITO BIRTHDAY LIVE PJSK JP 2023

I'M GONNA GO FUCKIN FERAL WOOFWOOFOWOFOO

I wrote all this in a notes page as it was happening and my thoughts after so uhhh It's a mess lmao idgaf this is my blog <3

......................................

5 SECOND RAHHHH AOAOM LETS GOOOOO KAIOTOOOO QEWOOOOOO LETS GOO ITS STARTIMBGAWWWW HES LSO CUTE ITS FUKING VIVD BAD SQUAD AWWHWHAH THE LIKE "UWAH!!!!" HJE DID I LOVE HIIMMMM SKDHKDSJHFKSJ"IINE!" HEW DAID DAISUKI SJSKKJKSJ OHHH MY FUCKING LAWDDD I winder what sinf they'll do. TOYAAAAA OHH MY LAWD KAITIOS VOICE SO CUTE WHEN HE TALKS I LOVE HIMMMMM AWIWWWH I wonder what he's saying, I can understanf little bitys but like, I WANNA KNOWWWWWWAWWWWHE DID A CUTE LITTLE FLOOP AWEHWHWHHW NOOO BABY YYYYY HSAHSHAJSDH HIS LIITTLE "YATTA!!!" HES SO HAPPY AWWWHHH YES LETS GOOO iT's fuckin cinema awwhwhh I was hoping he'd sdo raintuy snodrop OAOOWWWAAHW THEW OUTFIT OJAHHHH MYYY RAHAHH I SAW HIM T POSE AFTER THE SIBG AWHWHAHAH HES SOO HHAAHHAJOHH MY GOOOD THE OUTFIT IS SO GOOOD AWWHWWHHis stupid little face I love it so much <3333 awhh I wanna kiss him aww AWWW YOU'RE WELCOM SIRRRR I LOVE YUOU NOOOOO DON'T GOOO ALREADY ANNHHHH STAY PLEASE WEEAHAHSWH WAIT WAIT WJAHT!!!!HE'S BACK SJKAJKKJAD AND IN HIS VS FIT YES BEST BOY BEST KAITO SING FOR USSSSS PLEASEbruh it's so laggy ahhh AWEHWHWA HWAT WAS THAT CUTE NOISE KAITO NOISE!!!! YEDESSWSWEE RAINT SNOWDRIP HE IS DOING IM GONNA FUCKING CRYYIM SO UNBELIEVEABLY HAPPY RIGHT NOW AHHHHAHAHAHAH AWWHH HES LITTLE BOW AND SMILE AT THE END I LOVE HIM SO SO SO SMUCH WORDS CAN'T EVEN DESCRIBE AGGHAHGA THAT SMILE IS GONNA KILL ME, HE'S THE PRECIOUS LITTLE GUY EVER I WANT TO HOLD HIS HAND AND SEE HIM SMILE AJAKODHSHDDHWHEN THEY ALL TOLD HIM HAPPY ANNI I AM ACTUALLY IN TEARS RIGHT NOW FOR FUCKING REAL IM SOVBBING NOOOO DONT LEACVE

AAhhhh that was spo mamazing!!!!! I'm so glad he sang rainy snowdrop I was fucking praying for it all night, and having him be with VBS at the start YESSSS BEST UNIT WITH BEST BOYYY GGRRR I'm so happy right now ahhh i'm gonna watch the next one too bc oh mai gahhh I love him I love him I love him ahjahdjhajkd. The fucking like, difference between his sekai tuning and then Re:nG's fro rainy snowdrop is funny as hell, bro went from being 12, to hitting puberty, then back to twelve skkdhask. The fuckin outfits in both GARRTTGRRRGRR SLUUURPPPPP FUCKIN FOAMING AT THE MOUTH GOING FERAL WHWUHJIWHJWHWJH I'm still shaking from that ahahaa I was like sobbing and crying, suprised my mum did't come down and question why I was fucking choking and dying on my own spit as I went feral for a vocal synth. Anyway HIS FUCKIN GACHA IS OUT NOW SO I'M GONNA DO THAT UAHDJWHDJWJK I SWEAR TO FUCING GOD IF I DON'T GET BOTH I'M ENDING IT ALL SDKJDWKJFKJWLKJLAFWKJAFSL

[wearetakingthehobbitstogallifrey]

Scarlet Heart Ryeo: Episode 14 Part 1 (Spoilers)

ASDFGHJKL WHAT IS WITH THE TIME SKIPS LIKE WHAT HAS HAPPENED IN TWO YEARS I CAN’T WHAT

Well Hae Soo looks like she is in a place of honor at the Damiwon? So good? AND SHE HAS HER SERVANT GIRL AGAIN WHO IS ADORABLE AND SWEET!!!

Wook go away I don’t want you here. Wait what the freak is he saying? So looks upset.

AH MY SWEET BAEK AH AND HIS LADY!!! SHE HAS RETURNED TO HIM!!!! OTP!!! LOOK AT THAT BEAUTIFUL HUG!

Won is fudging creepy why is he still here, what did Wook say he was helping him lay the trap for Yo? What the heck

Yeah Moo is gonna die soon I can feel it

D'awwww Baek Ah brought Soo a bday present! And So apparently has not so Baek Ah is dragging him all over the place and Soo helps!!! Omg

OMG OMG WHAT THE HECK WANG SO IS OUTSIDE SOO’S DOOR HOWLING LIKE A WOLF LIKE WHAAAAT THE SILLY DORK I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO SAY LIKE THIS IS RIDICULOUS AND HILARIOUS BUT ALSO HEARTWARMING BECAUSE HE HAS BEEN CALLED A WOLF OR WOLF DOG AND THAT HAS HURT IN THE PAST BUT NOW WHEN SOO IS INVOLVED IT HAS BECOME SOMETHING LIGHTHEARTED?!?!?!?! I LOVE. THIS. SHOW!!! AND SOO DOESN’T COME OUT IMMEDIATELY AND SO TURNS TO LEAVE AND HE SCRATCHES THE BACK OF HIS NECK LIKE HE MUST THINK HE IS AN IDIOT AND IS KIND OF EMBARRASSED

SO IS BEAUTIFUL AND HANDSOME AND A CUTIE AND MUST BE PROTECTED AT ALL COSTS

SHE WALKS OUT AND HIS SMILE!!! “You sounded like you were choking on a rice cake.” OMG I AM CRACKING UP I CAN’T STOP LAUGHING AND HE HOWLS AGAIN AND YIPS LIKE A LITTLE PUPPY HE IS SUCH A DORK I LOVE HIM I WANT ONE

THEY GO FREAKING STARGAZING WHAT IS THE BEAUTIFUL SHIP

Ugh no FEELS. Soo tells So stories if the stars and he says he was once super jealous of Jung because he saw their mom telling him a story and now it is angst time. Murder angst cupcake indeed

But A AHHH “WHEN I AM AROUND YOU ALL MY PROBLEMS SEEM TO BECOME LIGHTER” AAAAHHHHHHH

Lol he just wants a kiss and she says no ask and asks and she just pushes his mouth away with her hand and he kind of rolls his eyes and I just–GIRL IF THAT WAS ME I WOULD BE LIKE GO FOR IT DUDE OMG. HOW CAN YOU DENY THAT FACE THAT LOVE THAT MAN KISS HIMMMMM

BAAAAHHHHH AND THEY JUST TEASE EACH OTHER AND HE LIES BACK AND IS PEACEFUL AND SMILING AND WANTS TO GO THE PRAYER TOWER TOGETHER?!?! I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

I FREAKING CAN’T STAND WOOK’S FACE ANYMORE AT LEAST WEAR AN ACTUAL MASK SO EVERYONE KNOWS THAT YOU ARE A LYING HYPOCRITICAL TREACHEROUS SCHEMING SLIMY WORM

Wook HOW CAN YOU STAND THERE AND WATCH/MAKE YOUR MOO SUFFER LIKE THAT YOU DISGUST ME

Whatever Wook has done to Moo has a made the poor man go insane. And his poor kid? He is trying to marry her off? For “safety”? :(

A AHHH POOR SO IS HAVING FLASHBACKS

W.T.F. WHAT WAS EVIL QUEEN DOING? IT LOOKED LIKE SO WAS TIED UP ON A BUILDING AND ARCHERS WERE SHOOTING UP AT HIM WITH FLAMING ARROWS?????? WHAT THE FLIP. MY POOR SON ENDURED HORRORS…AND NOW HE CANNOT BEAR TO LET A LITTLE CHILD SUFFER LIKE HE HAS. HE WILL NOT LET MOO’S DAUGHTER BE A HOSTAGE

WAIT WHAT

MOO WHAT ARE YOU DOING

MOO

HE WANTS SO TO MARRY HIS DAUGHTER?!?!?!?!

DRAT IT AND I THINK SOO IS FINALLY READY TO LET SO IN? SHE IS WEARING THAT HAIRPIN…SHE IS GORGEOUS. SOO WALKS UP AND SEES THE PIN HE IS SHOOK BUT ALSO LOOKS LIKE HE IS ABOUT TO CRY THIS IS THE WORST

AND NOW HE IS PLAYING LIKE HE WASN’T GONNA ASK HER ANYTHING IMPORTANT LIKE HER HAND IN MARRIAGE AND IT HURTS BOTH OF THEM I HATE THIS SHOW UGGGGHHHH

BUT NOW THEY ARE ROWING ON THE WATER AND I AM CRYING CUZ SO IS LIKE SIMULTANEOUSLY TRYING TO SAVOR EVERY MINUTE OF HER PRESENCE AND ALSO LIGHTEN THE SITUATION AND BE FUNNY AND SOO IS JUST LIKE NOT HOW I EXPECTED THIS DAY TO GO

MY HEART! SO SAYS THE BOAT IS HIS FAVORITE THING IN THE PALACE AND SOO SAYS HE IS NEVER IN IT AND SO SAYS “If I do something I like too much, I might not want to leave the palace.” MY HEART. THIS BOY IS SO USED TO LOSING THINGS AND PEOPLE HE LOVES AND NEVER GAINING THEM.

AND SOO: “I was thinking what it must be like to turn away from something you like.” *cue smile* “If was also thinking what a relief it is that you don’t have to do that anymore.” GIRL WHY DO YOU HAVE TO ACCIDENTALLY SAY THE THING THAT HURTS THE WORST MY HEART IS SHREDDED BECAUSE SO’S IS

AGGGGH SO TALKS TO JI MUNG AND NAMES ALL THE REASONS WHY HE SHOULD MARRY HIS HALF-BROTHER’S DAUGHTER BUT ASKS IF THIS MEANS HE IS JUST BACK TO BEING A DOG ON A LEASH I CAN’T THIS HURTS

Also side note my aesthetic is So being ridiculously happy with Soo BUT it is ALSO So standing against a dark and cloudy night sky while angsting

Lol Soo is giving Jung and Eun’s wife a spa day and Baek Ah is fReaKING out because Soo is using his bday gift on Jung

ANNND Eun walks in at the wrong time oops

AWWWW DRAT EUN WHY DID YOU HAVE TO SPILL THE BEANS HAVE YOU NO FILTER

SO SAYS SOO CAN HATE AND RESENT HIM. AAAHHHHH HAH SHE SAYS NO YOU MADE NO PROMISE AND HE SAYS HE HAD SAID HE WOULD TAKE HER OUT OF THE PALACE AND SET HER FREE AND THAT “EVERYTHING HE SAID WAS A PROMISE” I AM DYING I HATE THIS SHOW HOW COULD IT HURT MY ANGELS LIKE THIS

FREAKING COMMUNICATE AND TELL SOO WHY

“Whatever the reason I broke your trust and that doesn’t change.” I CANNOT

Also side note y'all know what the loser Wook would do if he got himself in this situation. Wait lol no he would never be in this situation. Because while he might have squirmed on the inside and wished that Moo would not send his daughter off to be married to some outsider he would have done nothing, and he also would never have entertained the idea of giving up Soo for safety of the little girl. This, friends, is why So is precious and a good man and a hero and the love of my life

UGH THO I HATE THIS SHOW

[junjiie]

the most well yes anything’s ever been.. you’ve done it again.. wiping tears from my eyes this is the best fucking fic ever you’re amazing im going to throw up!!!!!!! fave bits below ^^

“it’s okay, really, god i have a bandaid don’t i? hold on..” — HE’S SO CUUUTEE he’s so cutie and nice and cute we cried..

the older is a person of solace for him, a comfort in this big castle that seems to be swallowing him whole. — WE LOVE YOU QIAN KUNNNNN MY LOVER THE ONLY MAN EVER!!!!!

placing the copy of strange case of dr. jekyll and mr. hyde onto his desk. — okayy j&h mention.. How does Stevenson create a sense of fear and terror in this extract? How does he create a sense of fear and terror in the novel as a whole? i fear i fucked up that q in my exam but we’ll forget abt that..

“frenchman’s creek by daphne du maurier.” �� yess literature! (has never read that book in my life). this got me thinking abt a book my mum read on the plane home from portugal last yr that i was reading over her shoulder and it has literally nth to do w this but. Yeah.

“just so you know, it doesn’t have a happy ending.” — Foreshadowing is a literary device in whi

it’s always different when it's with you. — Gay as hell. that is a gay man

“it’s fine really, you actually kind of made my day.” & it's you, that's why he agreed. — CUTEEEE im throwing up

he’s much too busy thinking about books (and you) anyway.. — Freak.. (i smiled)

“i didn’t enjoy the ending, though.” — my exact words when i finish this btw

oh he loves the way you say his name. — FREAKKKKKKK. stop this i love him so bad

“i do enjoy tragic love stories.” — damn.. he's NOT just like me fr!

but it’s not just kun, it’s also you, and chenle almost falls to the floor and dies right then and there. — I DONT EVEN WANT TO GET TO THE ENDDD IM GONNA BE SICK.

“i can’t have him.” — Bye. SHUT UPPPP. i hate you. if he wanted to he would.. this boy clearly does not want!

“so could i be with someone of a different class?” — How does Priestley use Mrs Birling to explore ideas about the divide between social classes?

is my clearly reddening face a symptom? my fluttering stomach? my seemingly labored breathing? why can’t you tell i’m madly in love with you yet!? — BECAUSE YOU’RE NOT DOING ANYTHING? SAYING ANYTHING? dpmo rn

chenle just wants to stay around you. — this man is actually so sick

“everything is so complicated and i can’t even do anything about it because i get married in two months—!” — RUN AWAY THEN STUPIDDDD BOOOOOO!!!!!!

“may i?” you ask, but you aren’t looking chenle in the eyes, your staring directly at his lips. chenle almost chokes on his spit, are you really asking him if you can kiss him? do you really like him as much as he likes you? is he dreaming? & chenle doesn’t let you finish, he grabs the back of your neck and smashes your lips together. — i guess i can forgive him for two (2) seconds or whatever

“because it’s better than potentially losing my job! chenle! i have to take care of my mother, i can’t afford to risk my position because someone thinks you’re cheating on your fiancée with me.” — TELL HIMMMMM if he’s not leaving that poor girl then he can FAWKK OFFFFF im not getting beheaded for chenle HELLO

at least your still in his life, he’s grateful for that. — girl. i Guess. personally i’d rather kill myself than watch some guy i love have a wholeass wife but like. medieval-not-medieval yn can do whatever he wants idk

anw this was amazinggggggg even if i still hate the fact they cant run away like what.. THANKU FOR GIVING ME A CHEEKY SHOUT OUT YK I LOVE YOU TOO BSF MUAHH!!!!! isa strikes again w the best fics ever who’s surprised! isa nation MAKE SOME NOISE!

AUDERE EST FACERE. — [Z.CL]

❝to dare is to do..❞

SYNOPSIS: where crown prince zhong chenle, forced into a marriage with a woman he doesn't like and riddled with complicated feelings, finds solace in the palace's very own medic, you.

PAIRING: zhong chenle x male!reader

GENRE: royalty au, not really modern but not really medieval time period either, childhood friends to lovers, fluff, angst, kinda humorous, prince!chenle x medic!reader, kinda forbidden relationship, ambiguous/open ending

WARNINGS: might not be accurate to medieval times, death, blood & gore, forced marriage, mentions of disease, unhealthy ways of grieving, a lot of mentions of violence

WORD COUNT: 22.7k

NOTES: woah woah woah!!! this whole fic broke a whole bunch of isa records…….. hiiii jj 😊 hi chenle stans 😊 hello nct male reader community 😊😊😊 i hope im serving the isanator nation well (consists of 2 ppl) ANYWAY this is one of the works i am genuinely most proud of because for one, it's my longest ever work, and for two, i'm just so happy with how it turned out!! this was originally meant to be like 16k words but then i got carried away and now this is here 🙁 i truly apologize for how long this is but PLEASEEE dont get bored i swear it gets good 😞😞 and i did write ambiguous ending but it does seem pretty straightforward so um… im sorry for that, this fic would've been MUCH MUCH LONGER than 22k words but i already beat my former wc record so i just cut a bunch of other unnecessary scenes 😶 alright thats enough of my yapping!! ily jj my bsf ever ty for listening to me ramble abt this endlessly in ur inbox 😊😊💗

CHENLE REMEMBERS IT LIKE IT WAS YESTERDAY. his little feet sneakily took him away from the huge meeting room full of intimidating adults talking about gibberish, and slowly, they lead him to a much more enjoyable place. at the time, seven year old chenle couldn't figure out why his parents needed such a big meeting room, or why all of these important people came to the castle every few months, to him, those strangers were nothing but tryhards, greedy men and women who were never pleased no matter how much they were offered.

seven year old chenle could never truly figure out why his parents insisted on having him sit around with these other important adults, listening to them talk about the economy, kingdom relations, marriage, all this stuff that isn't interesting to seven year old boys.

the young prince found his feet leading him to a place of familiar comfort, the palace's own rose garden. he could never truly explain why the air surrounding the abundance of roses ever became of comfort to him, because roses are anything but comfortable to hold, but whenever he felt like father and mothers fights were getting too aggressive, he could just come here and everything would be okay.

the gardener, a woman by the name of mrs. qian, was always sweet to chenle, much sweeter than his father usually was. her son, qian kun, is basically chenle's older brother, the older boy often comes around whenever his mothers in work, and he tells chenle stories of what goes on at the village schools, the newest gossip and adventures he's gone on with his friends.

chenle often finds himself interested in the life of a commoner, they're all just so intriguing.. he can't believe the stories most of the time, but he is homeschooled, and has been holed up in this castle for as long as he can remember, so how he can prove or debunk any of these things? he just thinks that non-royals are some of the most entertaining people he knows, they're all so hilarious.

as soon as the seven year old chenle stepped into the rose garden, a feeling of relief seeps into his body. he takes in a deep breath, and finally allowed for his shoulders to slump, much too tired of having to keep his back straight all this time.

he lets himself relax into the atmosphere, finally away from the suffocated room full of adults seemingly speaking a language he could not understand. if that's what kings and queens have to do, chenle thinks he'd rather not take the throne.

the seven year old prince allowed for his eyes to scan the garden, it's empty. well that makes sense, mrs. qian isn't in today and neither is her son, they went on a holiday. he sighs to himself, he misses kun's company, but alas, no one is around.

chenle makes his way around to a specific rose bush, it has the most roses out of the bunch. seven year old chenle used to think the rose bushes were magic, the roses always grew so quickly, one day there'd be none and the next there'd be hundreds, it was purely shocking to the young prince.

chenle, as always, began tracing the shape of the roses with his finger. he finds them pretty, as he does all flowers. it might sound like he's being basic, but roses are probably his favorite of the bunch. they're just so beautiful, and most importantly— they're sharp.

but the seven year old chenle is startled out of his rose admiring due to a shout.

"hey! don't touch those!"

the young prince furrowed his eyebrows at the words, what's wrong with touching the roses? it's not like there are garden rules or anything. when chenle turned to the source of the shout, that's when he sees the person.

you, it was you. adorable seven year old you who ran up to him as quickly as you could, you stopped as soon as you made it his way, panting like you had just run a marathon. "don't touch the roses".

the young chenle blinked, puzzled. "why can't i touch them? i'm the prince you can't tell me what to do—"

"they're sharp! you're gonna hurt yourself see?" you pointed at chenle's hand, and he looked down, eyes widening as he came across the sight. his finger was bleeding, oh that's bad. "roses have thorns, you have to be careful".

chenle had no idea who you were then, but all he knew was that you were worried. your eyes were watering, as if you were going to burst into tears at any moment, and you took a deep breath as you slowly began freaking out over the small cut on the prince's index finger. "oh uh— i didn't even notice".

"it's okay really, god i have a bandaid don't i? hold on.." you mumbled, worried as ever as you began rummaging through your pockets, trying to find a bandaid to patch up the prince with.

"it's fine it's just a small cut i.." chenle paused in between his words, clearing his throat. "who are you?"

right, you were still a stranger, chenle had no idea who you were then, for all he could know, you had broken into the palace or something. you finally stopped looking through your pocket, your face went a bright red as you faced the prince again. "um my name is y/n, i'm the—"

"y/n honey? where did you run off to?"

now chenle recognized that voice, that was the voice of the palace's sweet medic. mrs. l/n had a voice that was like honey, she was easily one of chenle's favorite staff members, not only because she would always be there to wipe his tears when he scraped his knee, but she always offered him delicious candy. "oh! there you are!"

"good afternoon mrs. l/n" chenle politely greeted, and you let out a small sigh of relief at the sight of your mother, though that look of worry was still prominent in your eyes.

"chenle, how are you doing?" she reached over to ruffle the young prince's hair, which he accepted happily, giggling at the gesture. "i'm doing good, ma'am".

"he has a cut on his finger" you muttered to her, and a small 'ah' leaves her lips as she finally realized what was going on. "i wanted to help him but i didn't have any bandaids" you seemed disappointed in yourself, as your gaze immediately lowered to the floor.

"oh sweetie, it's okay" your mother shook your shoulder, reassuring you. "just remember to call me before running off".

"i'll remember, sorry".

the young prince blinked at the sight before him, though he continued to smile at the sight of your mother. "sorry for yelling at you, your highness" you muttered in your low voice, and all chenle did was shake his head, waving you off.

"it's alright you were just trying to help" chenle replied, he finds seven year old you to be the epitome of adorable, just the cutest person in the world.

"let's get you that bandaid yeah?"

chenle nodded, you nodded, and the two of you proceeded to follow your mother out of the garden and to her office.

when chenle thinks back to this moment, the moment he first met you, he likes to compare it to an explosive, just waiting to be lit, just waiting to be set off and destroy everything. when he thinks back to the first moment he met you, chenle can't help but reminisce about it.

after your mother helped him with his cut, the two of you.. talked. you talked about things all seven year old boys talk about, and it was one of the highlights of chenle's day, though he kept trying to make you drop the formalities and call him by his first name, you vehemently disagreed.

the two of you became friends (and just chenle calling the two of you "friends" was enough to almost send seven year old you into cardiac arrest), a royal and a commoner, but chenle never saw it that way, chenle has never seen it that way. a friend is a friend, regardless of status or their economic situation. yes chenle is at a great advantage, being the prince of the kingdom you lived in, but he never held it over you, he isn't like that.

you were— are a special friend to chenle. sometimes, it feels like the two of you have known each other your whole lives. you mean much more to him than he actually lets slip, but he'll never let that be known, even under kun's watchful eye and jisung's insistence on knowing if you two really are just "friends".

chenle spends a lot of time thinking about the day you two first met, it's like a looping episode of a show in his head.

"chenle? did you even hear me?"

no response.

a grunt of frustration is sounded in the room, but the prince doesn't react, much too busy zoned out as a specific memory replays in his head for the seventh time that hour.

"chenle! pay attention!"

the slam of a hand against the table, paired with the loud shout is enough to snap the now twenty one year old crown prince out of his little dazed memory recalling session. chenle startles, but he quickly lets his face relax, sighing as he rejoins the conversation he'd previously zoned out on. "what?"

chenle's mother pinches the bridge of her nose, an exasperated sigh escaping her lips. "marriage, chenle, that's what were talking about".

oh god, chenle resists the urge to groan. he isn't exactly on board with this whole marriage thing, but then again, he has no other choice, his father is gone and he's next in line for the throne, this is how it goes for each royal family, he should just suck it up and deal with it head on. "yeah yeah, sorry, i didn't sleep much last night".

it's not exactly a lie, these days usually have chenle plagued with some sort of sleeplessness, but that isn't the main reason he was zoned out, obviously. "alright.. anyway, i talked with the zhu's, we agreed that you and their daughter, yinuo, are to marry".

chenle recognizes the family name, unfortunately, he doesn't exactly recognize their daughter. "you're marrying me off to a stranger? what about the girls i actually know, suyin? jia? mingxia? they're actually my friends, i'd be much more comfortable with them than a princess i've never met".

"marriage doesn't work like that, chenle" the words are enough to make chenle grit his teeth, he bites his tongue, though. "all you have to do is merely get along with her enough that it looks like you're in love at the wedding, rule the kingdom, and have children".

chenle raises an eyebrow, rocking back and forth in his chair. "that sounds a tad bit dystopian, mother".

the older woman does nothing but narrow her eyes at chenle, a look he's become used to receiving from her at this point. "it's just how everything goes, le, i don't know what to tell you".

chenle bites his inner cheek, looking everywhere else in the room. he always knew marriage was a custom, if not out of true love, it would be out of convenience. chenle had been given so much time to go find a woman to fall in love with, but he didn't find it that easy, maybe he just has too many requirements when it comes to love. he doesn't exactly support the whole thing about creating new heirs, but he was born into this family for this reason, what is the point of being a king if not sacrificing his freedom for the happiness of others?

chenle has always known that he wouldn't exactly enjoy this part of his life, and his father just had to go early, he is very much upset, but he doesn't disclose those feelings to anyone. after his long minutes of silence, chenle stands up from the table, again facing his mother. "yes yes i get it, mother" he mutters, making his way over to his mother and pressing a kiss to her cheek, realizing that she was trembling in anxiousness. "don't worry about me, i'll be fine".

but would he really? chenle can't exactly determine that.

"HOW DID YOUR LITTLE MARRIAGE CONVERSATION GO?" QIAN KUN cannot contain his interest, immediately finding chenle and inquiring about his upcoming marriage. chenle can always go to kun to talk about things troubling his mind, the older is a person of solace for him, a comfort in this big castle that seems to be swallowing him whole. chenle is glad he has kun, even with how much he does tease him, he's truly grateful for the older. "whose the lucky lady?" the words are enough to get a groan out of chenle, who shoved his nose into his book.

"zhu yinuo".

kun's eyes widen, clearly he recognizes that name. "of azerene?"

chenle clicks his tongue, not sparing the older a glance. "yes, that one".

the older male hums, merely glancing at the crown prince. "why do you sound so uninterested? marriage should be a fun topic for you".

his teasing tone doesn't breeze past chenle, but the younger doesn't comment on it, focusing on the topic of the novel in his hands. "not when it's with a women i don't know, i'm just being placed into a union with a stranger, a stranger who i'm then going to have make babies with so that the treasurable zhong family lives on for generations and generations".

"well isn't that the whole point of royal families, though?" kun asks absentmindedly, it seems he meant to say that in his head, seeing as how he slaps a hand over his mouth immediately after the question escapes his lips, but chenle doesn't mind, getting offended over such a question is the last of his worries. "..sorry".

"it's alright" chenle responds, his voice a low echo in the expanse of a room. "it's how most things go anyway, i should know better than to question it".

"i just don't think it's fair" chenle only gives a mere hum, though he notices kun's tone of concern. "yeah you're supposed to create heirs at the end of the day, but not even with someone you love?"

"you ask too many questions".

kun scoffs, turning to chenle with a look of betrayal in his eyes. "i'm just saying what your thinking, chenle, i worry about you".

chenle, who sighs silently, finally closes his book and gives the older an indistinguishable look. "you don't have to worry about me, i'll be fine, i always am".

a lie, one as clear as day too. chenle doesn't exactly know how to explain what he feels, sometimes it feels like everything is bubbling up slowly, closing in on him and suffocating him to death. he assumes it's normal to feel like this, especially with people who don't talk about how they feel, but chenle doesn't know how to bring it up to people without making everything weird.

it's all just complicated.

chenle finally stands up, running a hand through his hair and folding the page of his book as to not lose his page. he makes his way over to kun, whose mindlessly folding his own clothes as he admires the butterfly tank before him.

the butterflies were an installment chenle begged for his father to get for him after he read a book on metamorphosis once, it was a gift for his twelfth birthday, though he wanted a room to be a whole conservatory for him, his father said that would be "unnecessary" (and as an adult, chenle is inclined to agree with that statement). he finds the winged beings to be beautiful, a kind of striking that only specific animals can replicate.

yes, chenle is a huge fan of butterflies, his love for them runs deep. he lightly taps the glass encasing the creatures with his nail, gaze laser focused on the flying insects and their bright colored wings.

"you say that all the time, but i can never truly tell if you are" kun finally responds after letting his answer wither in the silence of the room, his eyes wander over to chenle, who does nothing but admire the trapped butterflies before him.

the words get a small smile out of chenle, but he's not sure why, though they do make him smile. "i am fine, there's no need to look in further".

"you know me, i'm always going to look further".

chenle allows for himself to chuckle at the response. he's right about that.

he stares at the butterflies encased in the glass box, practically trapped against their own will. his mind wanders, the butterflies remind him of something very familiar.

but he pretends to have no idea what it is.

CHENLE OFTEN FINDS HIMSELF SLEEPLESS THESE DAYS. after the first two hours of insomnia took over, the crown prince decided to entertain himself by reading that book he's left off at earlier that day, but by the time he looked at the clock again, two more hours had passed, and he had finished the book which he once thought would enthrall him until his body gave into it's exhaustion. he lets his arm fall, placing the copy of strange case of dr. jekyll and mr. hyde onto his desk. he's still not tired, for some unknown reason. 

maybe another book will do the trick, chenle's mind tells him, and he agrees with that statement enough that he swings out of his bed and his feet grace the cold floor. it's cold, it's always cold at night, but chenle thinks it's always extra cold at night on purpose.

the crown prince tries his best to shake off the freezing temperature of the room, slipping on a fuzzy sweater and grabbing the lamp from his desk. if sleep isn't going to come him, he could at least spend some of the night in the library, it'll be a good way to pass time.

the library is a nice place of comfort, chenle has always been able to relax his mind the most when he's reading. reading is one of the easiest hobbies to have, because you're not tiring yourself out, but your also doing something fun (but chenle has learned that some people don't really describe reading as their idea of 'fun').

when chenle was younger, reading was really all he did. he was homeschooled, so the most lessons he got were three a day, mother and father never cared about what he had to tell them, dismissing his words as just idiotic child talk. no one ever gave him the time of day if they weren't forced to, so chenle quickly found comfort in the many books which littered the library.

by the time chenle was fourteen, he had already read most of the books in the library, and that includes the unnecessarily huge dictionary. he could almost always be found in the library if not in his room or the rose garden, immersing himself in another world of fiction or nonfiction.

the library is basically his second home, he's there all the time, engrossed in the literature which is all he can see.

the constant creaking of the old structure is all chenle can hear as he makes his way over to the library. at one in the morning, the palace is truly creepy, like one of those haunted buildings full of spirits that suddenly scare you in the night.

now, chenle isn't one to believe in the supernatural, but some of these nightly events in the castle truly can't be explained away. sometimes, he almost gives in to believing all of stories about paranormal activity happening in the castle, something about an old king going haywire and murdering his whole entire family.

father and mother would tell him the stories to scare him out of staying up late, saying that old king chen was gonna come out of the walls late at night and scare him if he ever tried to roam the palace halls past his bedtimes.

but chenle's an adult now, much too grown to be believing in some make believe ghost stories.

back to his mission of getting to the library with nothing but his tiny lamp, chenle sighs in the darkness of the empty halls, his sigh seemingly echoing in the silence and bouncing off the walls. he pauses to observe his barely lit surroundings, and he feels his stomach drop when he hears the sound of faint footsteps across the hall.

who else could be awake at this time?

"hello?"

chenle pauses again as he listens to the greeting. he recognizes that voice, it's you, chenle thinks he could recognize your voice from miles away. "y/n?" he calls out, he doesn't mean to do that, he just really wanted to say your name, is that such a crime? he doesn't think it is.

when you finally come into his like of vision, chenle lets out a sigh of relief, the pit in his stomach will hopefully go away now. for some reason, he feels much more safe with you here. "oh god you scared me ch— your highness".

ah, it's still the same, despite your long friendship, you still don't usually address chenle by his name. you always say it's because you have to "respect his title", but chenle doesn't really like it. he likes it more when you call him by his first name, even if it is disrespectful for a commoner to do such a thing.

chenle never cares when it's with you.

"you scared me" chenle emphasizes, taking in a deep breath. "my apologies".

"it's fine, uh.. why are you awake exactly?" you ask, though chenle wanted to ask you that, it seems you beat him to it. how funny. "if you don't mind me asking of course".

of course, all you ever really do is look after people, you take after your mother, it's evident to chenle that being a medic was your calling. "oh i can't sleep, i'm heading to the library to get a book that'll hopefully tire me".

you chuckle at the words, your laughter is pretty, chenle notes. "of course, you're always in that library, seems you spend most of your time reading" chenle laughs at your tone of voice, your teasing him, you talk like how your mother used to talk about him when you were children.

"reading is..fun".

those words seem to confuse you, and you blink, lightly tilting your head to the side. "i have never heard someone describe reading as fun, but i guess it makes sense for you".

chenle wants to ask about the meaning of those words, because they seem to have so many layers, but you begin again before he can even try to ask. "i heard about your new marriage" there's a certain distaste in your voice chenle can't exactly pinpoint. "congratulations".

chenle allows for himself to frown, his stomach curling in an uncomfortable way at just the thought of his new marriage. he doesn't want to talk about it, because it's just going to make him upset. "oh yeah it's quiet.. exciting news".

you pick up on his tone of disgust, his gritted teeth, and the way his eyes quickly cast around the room, but you stay silent. "anyway, i should be heading to the library, find a nice book, have any recommendations?"

you blink at the sudden question, scouring your mind for books you think the crown prince might be charmed by. "frenchman's creek by daphne du maurier".

chenle raises an eyebrow. "that's in the library?"

"yeah i uh— i read it a couple weeks ago, it was amazing" you mutter, trying to keep eye contact with the prince who was clearly trying to not look you in the eye. "i think you'll like it, i mean— i hope you do".

chenle hums, noting down your recommendation in his mind. "i'll make sure to read it then, thank you y/n, good night".

your eyes widen as you realize that it is indeed the middle of the night, and your conversation has to end eventually. "right right, it's no problem, good night your highness".

chenle frowns again at the sound of his title escaping your lips, but he doesn't say anything, just gives you a small smile and walks past you and towards the library.

he doesn't see you watch him walk away, he's much too busy thinking about how much he wants you to say his name.

"ARE YOU ALRIGHT? YOU LOOK TIRED" THE WORRYING tone in his fiancée's voice doesn't breeze past chenle, but he pays it no mind, ignoring the question. yinuo blinks, clearly expecting the silence, chenle's mother did say he's prone to giving people the "cold shoulder". she sighs, reaching out to touch his shoulder but immediately pulling back, he probably wouldn't like that. "chenle.."

"i'm fine" chenle replies faster than he intends, he brushes off any dust that might be on his shoulder and rubs his right eye. "i just lost a few hours of sleep that's all" he states rather unconvincingly, but yinuo doesn't comment more, just sighs again.

chenle holds out his arm, which the princess quickly links with hers, an indescribable emotion in his eyes. "let's just get this over with.." he shakes his head, feeling a hand of support from his future wife run up and down his back. "the faster we get through with this the faster we both get out of here".

yinuo is happy to know chenle doesn't despise her, he's just not comfortable with her, and chenle, he really is trying his best, he might be coming off as rude, but he just isn't on board with this whole thing. "they're all so extra, making us do this.."

"right, the least they could do is make us enter at different times but no, we have to do this walk in together like were walking down the aisle".

chenle glances down at their linked arms, letting a sigh escape his lips as the two of them finally exit the room they had been put into together. starting their way off to the meeting room down the hall, chenle allows for his mind to wander, he can't be focused on his fiancée or upcoming marriage, he's much too focused on other things.

you, namely.

the crown prince can't focus on what's going on when the only thing prominent in his mind is you. yeah your exchange last night was a short one, but it was also a memorable one. after weeks of going back and forth with things that just didn't make sense, and a mind that was in a frenzy, just talking to you in the middle of the night was enough to relax chenle.

you two haven't been able to talk in the past few weeks.. evidently, chenle is a prince to be king who has to focus on ruling a kingdom and your a medic who has to focus on taking care of others. you two have no time to be friends now that you're adults, it doesn't help that chenle now has all this added pressure on him, and you clearly feel like he's become a stranger.

chenle guesses the.. power imbalance is what's driving this. he's apart of the royal family, a crown prince, set to take the crown and become king, your a commoner, someone who lives just above the poverty line, the only reason you're able to stay afloat is because you took up your mothers position as the palace's medic, but even then, you can almost barely take care of her.

chenle hates thinking about it, because the two of you used to be so close, an unbreakable pair, two boys who couldn't be separated even with the differences between you two. your ranks in society never bothered you, never disturbed your friendship, never disturbed you as a pair, it never mattered. he often finds himself reminiscing on those times, the times where he could see you without his mind listing everything he had to do after that.

"chenle? are you listening?"

chenle blinks out of his daze, arm still linked with yinuo's as he gazes at his future father in law. he pretends to not see the look of worry the woman on his arm sends him, clearing his throat. "yeah, my apologies".

"uh huh, my regards to you, i know the sudden.. passing of the king was hard on you, and we hope your grieving well".

so your throwing your daughter at me, how great. chenle laughs in his mind, tongue poking through his inner cheek, he already knew he wasn't going to like where this was going. "now, about the marriage—"

chenle tunes him out easily, letting out a silent sigh which his mother hears, sending him a glare from across the room as the breath escapes his lips. he doesn't pay any mind to the look from his mother, though he knows she's quickly getting annoyed with how he isn't paying attention.

the discussion is exactly how chenle thought it'd be, the parents discuss everything and just assume their children agree from the get go, they don't even bother asking them their thoughts, or even how they felt, they just threw them into this like they were some baby making machines.

chenle guesses it's just how the cycle goes, his parents had to go through this, and so did their parents before them, and their parents before them, and so on. this is how things work, chenle can't run away from his fate, even with how much he opposes this arrangement.

"and for children.." just the mention of children is enough to make both chenle and yinuo tense, but they both play it off as the cold of the room making them flinch. "you can decide how many you want, but more than one would be nice, and especially a son would be nice".

of course, chenle sings in his head. he wonders how much they'll have to drill that into their heads, some stupid importance men have or something. he glances at his fiancée, whose trembling in her place beside him. he places a gentle hand on her back. "it's alright, calm down" he whispers enough so that she can hear it over the chatter of her father and mother.

"this is not fun".

"yeah, tell me about it" the crown prince grits his teeth, his comment eliciting a small laugh out of the woman beside him. he has to admit, he does enjoy her company.

"ah, i see you two are getting along!"

upon hearing the remark, the two pause, an awkward silence spreading between them. they exchange a small glance before chenle clears his throat, speaking up. "yeah um.. this was a nice meeting, we can continue chatting about the marriage another time, we thank you for coming, the guards will escort you out".

though chenle smiles at his future in laws, he feels nothing but nauseous the whole time.

"WHERE ARE YOU HEADING, YOUR HIGHNESS?" THE QUESTION from kun isn't enough to make chenle stop in his tracks, and he continues his way down the hall. kun blinks as the younger ignores him, furrowing his eyebrows. he then lets out a sigh, letting his hands drop as his eyes stay pointed at the crown prince. "chenle? where are you going?" chenle still doesn't stop, but he seems to acknowledge the older this time.

"to the rose garden" he responds quickly, only getting another eyebrow furrow from the older. he finally stops, turning towards the other with a look that kun cannot exactly pinpoint at the current moment. "if you need me, i'll be there".

"is something wrong?"

chenle takes in a breath, gritting his teeth. curse qian kun for being so caring, curse him for always knowing when something's up. he's quick to shake his head, mustering the fakest of fake smiles. "nothing's wrong! i just need fresh air!"

kun blinks, totally not buying that horrible lie, but he doesn't say anything about it, just mutters a small "okay" and lets chenle be on his way. chenle didn't mean to lie to kun, he just doesn't know how to explain his feelings at the current moment.

so, he gives the older a small smile, turning on his heel and making a beeline towards the titular rose garden, the one that's given him so much comfort over these past few years. he doesn't know why just the presence of everyone in that room was enough to make him want to throw up, but his anxieties wouldn't settle, he can't bear to stay inside this castle much longer.

chenle has no idea why the feeling of suffocation is constantly overtaking him these days, but the walls are slowly pushing in on him, leaving him breathless and nothing more than a weak human vessel.

when chenle does finally step outside, met by a plethora of roses and the smell of pollen in the air, the pit in his stomach doesn't settle. instead of letting out a sigh of relief, he pauses in his tracks, allowing for his eyes to roam the area he'd grown to love as a child.

chenle sighs, not of relief, but sighs with another indescribable feeling he can't explain, walking up to a display of white roses. he knows they're sharp, your old warnings flash in his head as he stares at the pretty flowers before him, tracing them with his fingers as he's always done when in the rose garden.

"don't hurt yourself again, your highness".

it's when chenle hears you that he immediately jumps, but then he relaxes, slowly. what were the odds of this happening again? you seem to read his mind, because you chuckle at the expression which graces his features. chenle raises an eyebrow, a humored smile coming to his face. "you sure you actually have bandaids this time?"

the reference makes you snicker, looking down at the floor as you turn away from your childhood friend. you rummage through your pocket, finally pulling out a bandaid, one which wasn't present when you were seven and yelling for chenle to not touch the roses. "there you go, now you won't cut your finger".

for once today, chenle suddenly feels relaxed, it's always with you, isn't it? his mind notes that down, he'll remember it for later. he takes the bandaid from you, a smile coming to his face as the nostalgia settles on him. "thank you, you're always looking after everyone, you sure know how to do your job".

the words make you pause, but you don't look at chenle as you think of a response, instead turning to the white roses displayed in front of you. you lightly poke them, letting out a small hum of affirmation. "well, what kind of medic would i be if i didn't look out for others? i'd be an idiot to ever let our highness get hurt".

chenle's lips turn up, and he laughs in just the slightest, but he isn't sure why he laughs. there's just something about you that makes chenle feel at ease, you calm his worries without even having to do anything, it's not like he's even telling you about these worries either, but the anxiety he once felt seems to be nothing now.

spending time with you calms chenle, he wants to preserve as much of this time as possible.

"i started reading your recommendation" chenle suddenly blurts out, wanting to continue a conversation with you. he doesn't know how limited your time will be. "frenchman's creek.. i like it so far, it's an interesting choice, though".

you raise an eyebrow. "why's that?"

"i didn't peg you for an enjoyer of pirate romances" chenle shrugs, and he quickly looks away, not wanting to stare at you for too long, because he doesn't think he'd be able to look away.

"well i don't like limiting my interests to one genre, you'd know about that".

chenle blinks, the words striking him in a way only the words you say can. how do you always manage to do that? it's not really the words, it's just how you say them, even if you don't make your intentions clear, chenle always knows what you mean. "it always manages to surprise me, i'm not sure what's gonna happen next".

you click your tongue, a small smile coming to your face. "just so you know, it doesn't have a happy ending".

chenle gasps, overdramatizing the volume of his voice. "you're giving me spoilers? in the rose garden?" his words make you snicker, and you pick a white rose from the bush, unfazed by the thorns which slowly sink into your fingers.

"i didn't spoil anything specific" you finally turn back to chenle, twirling the rose between your fingers. "just told how it was gonna end up.." you mutter, stepping closer to chenle unconsciously. you look at up, suddenly anxious as ever. "may i?" you ask, motioning towards the rose with your eyes.

chenle blinks, his mind going blank for a few seconds. what do you want to do exactly? he gazes at your hands fidgeting on the stem of the flower, and the pieces slowly put themselves together in his brain. are you going to..? "i— yes, sure.."

you raise an eyebrow, not really trusting the seemingly hesitant consent chenle had given, but he clears his throat, reiterating it for you; "yes, you can".

upon hearing the answer, you step closer once again, placing the rose into his hair, your careful to not hurt chenle, and especially careful because you don't want the stem to get tangled in chenle's hair. "i.. i thought it'd look nice on you, and it does, you look— you look great".

chenle blinks, a sudden red hue coloring his cheeks. it's such a basic compliment, one he's been given many times by other people, but it feels different coming from you.

it's always different when it's with you.

chenle clears his throat, unable to prevent a smile from crossing his face. you don't look at him anymore, looking away to prevent yourself from burning up, but you allow for a smile to come to your face as you think about the action you just performed.

you have no idea why you're so giddy about this.

"oh um.." chenle pauses, laughing awkwardly. "thank you, that's very sweet".

"oh it's no problem i just— i uh, it compliments your hair".

chenle hums, looking down at the floor. he hopes you don't see his face burning, and you hope he doesn't see your face burning, it's such a hilarious thing, but you both are much too flustered to find your current circumstances amusing. "you have an eye for those things too?"

"well i have an eye for many things".

i can see that, chenle doesn't say that, though, just smiles at you. you only give him a mere glance, and a small smile yourself. "it was nice seeing you, ch— your highness" you notice how your correction makes chenle frown, but you continue. "i'll be off now, have a good day".

chenle only frowns again when he realizes your time together is over, he wants to continue the conversation, wants to try to use an excuse, wants to use his power to order you to stay, but he doesn't give into the desires he wants so badly, just nods. "oh uh, don't let me keep you here".

you chuckle. "i wouldn't really mind if you did".

the words have an unspoken affect on chenle, an affect that he can't exactly explain, but he can feel. he can feel it in the way his ears heat up and his stomach flips. "alright then, bye y/n".

"bye".

and as chenle watches you leave, the feeling of anxiety he'd entered the garden with seemed to wither away, dissolving away like it was nothing.

he thinks about your 'bye' for hours, unable to get the sound of your voice out of his bed.

"HOW HAVE YOU BEEN THESE DAYS?" CHENLE doesn't answer immediately, as always these days. he skims the row of books before him, fidgeting with the one in his hands. he's not ignoring his friend, he's just focused on other things. "fine" he responds, grunting as he lightly struggles to pull the book from the shelf, but he doesn't ask for help. he doesn't need help. "what's with that look?"

park jisung blinks at his longtime friend, raising a suspicious eyebrow at him. "you don't look fine".

chenle scoffs, suddenly feeling super defensive. he doesn't look at jisung anymore, the other is going to begin to annoy him if he keeps staring at him. "what do you know about looking fine?"

he hears jisung's sigh of defeat. "well i'm just concerned for you, we haven't talked in a while, you've been so busy preparing for your coronation and.. marriage".

chenle resists the urge to roll his eyes. "my coronation isn't for another three months, preparations have all been lackluster".

"and the marriage?"

chenle snaps his head towards jisung, giving him an indescribable look. jisung is quick to shut his mouth, not wanting to face chenle's terrifying wrath. the older prince glares dangerously at the younger, who chuckles awkwardly and scratches his hand. he doesn't have to say anything, but jisung knows he should probably change the subject.

"uh.. um, are you still friends with that medic kid?"

now that is a question chenle wasn't expecting. a question about you? when he snaps his head over at jisung for the second time, the younger almost freezes, noticing the pointed look in his eyes. "what?"

"y/n, the medic kid!" jisung reiterates, clearly thinking the issue is that chenle didn't hear him the first time. "his mom used to work here, right? is he still around?"

chenle narrows his eyes, puzzled at where jisung is trying to go with this.. question. he'd been dealt with a fair amount of teasing from his friend because of how much closer the two of you seemed, jisung often questioned how much of a "friend" you really were to chenle, but the older would always combat it with a glare and snappy insult as a response.

"yes he's still around.. he took over mrs. l/n's position".

jisung blinks dumbly. "oh? what happened to her?"

just the question is enough to put a sour taste in chenle's mouth. "she just couldn't go on any longer one day, she retired a few years ago and he took over her position".

"you don't know what happened to her?"

"y/n didn't tell me anything specific" chenle is beginning to get annoyed. he knows it's in jisung's nature to be curious like this but god, if he wanted to know these things so bad he could've just asked you. "just go ask him if you're so curious".

he hears a small "hmph" sound from jisung before the younger prince sounds again. "i will then! y/n! hey!"

chenle didn't actually think you'd be passing by the library at that exact moment, but you were. you pause, backtracking as you look into the library, blinking at the jumping prince before you. "uh— hi, your highness, what do you need me for?"

jisung is quick to chuckle, waving off your use of formalities. "please, there's no need to be so formal, were friends after all!"

you only respond with a small smile, giving chenle a mere glance. "i'm just doing what i'm supposed to, i can't call you by your name.."

"well right now, you're going to call me by my name" jisung demands, which makes you snicker. he really hasn't changed. you look down at the floor, hands picking at your nails. "your allowed to, right chenle?"

chenle was not expecting to be included in this conversation. is jisung reading his mind or something? how could he seem to tell exactly what chenle wanted to say? he feels his face heat up, but he isn't exactly sure why it does that. "i mean— yeah, yes, were friends".

jisung then turns back to you, a clear 'see?' expression on his face as he smiles in victory at chenle proving him right. you chuckle at chenle's response, smiling again, but it's much more directed at chenle this time. "fine then, jisung, what do you need me for?"

jisung then walks towards you, placing a hand on your shoulder (a hand chenle is suddenly laser focused on) almost as if to reassure you. "how have you been?"

your eyebrows furrow. it's not a weird question to ask, you just weren't expecting for him to ask a question. you share another confused glance with chenle, then snickering lightly. "fine.. i uh— i've just been trying my best, as always".

jisung hums, his finger going up to caress your cheek lightly, a finger which chenle again laser focuses on, he can't help but narrow his eyes at jisung, wondering what the hell is he doing?

"uh huh, and how's your mother?"

at the mere mention of your mother, you seem to go still, pausing as you let jisung's question simmer into the air. you try your best to collect your words, opening your mouth to speak, but then you close it, as if wanting to keep your thoughts to yourself.

chenle picks up on your sudden silence, as if he could feel your heightened anxieties, he speaks up; "are you alright, y/n?" he asks, concern lacing his tone as he sees the worry in your eyes as you think about your mother.

you snap out of your little daze, clearing your throat as you nod. "yeah yeah, i uh— i'm fine, mom is.. she's doing okay".

"okay?"

"she's sick" you blurt quickly, fingers fidgeting at shirt collar. "but she's doing much better now, i'm taking care of her and everything.." you look away from the two royals, scratching your cheek out of habit.

"oh, oh my god i didn't know she was sick" jisung realizes how awkward he made the situation. "um, i wish her the best".

chenle doesn't say anything, he sees the way you glance around the room, desperately trying to think about everything else. "yeah, tell her i said hi" he states immediately, and you finally stop looking around the room to look at chenle, he notices that look in your eyes, the one where it seems like your about to cry, but you're holding in your tears.

even with all that, you smile at chenle, as if his words had healed you in some way. "i'll make sure to do that, i uh.. i have to go now, i don't want for anyone to die while i stand here".

jisung's eyes widen, and he gasps. "right! go go, you have a job to do, sorry for holding you up" you dismiss his words with a wave, jisung is still so cute, as cute as he was when you were children.

"it's fine really, you actually kind of made my day".

"well i'm happy that i could!"

you smile again at jisung, then smile lightly at chenle, who almost wants to jump towards you and trap you in a tight hug. "thank you, your hi— jisung" you quickly correct yourself, clearing your throat. "i'll see you some other time, and you chenle, i'll see you later".

chenle allows for himself to go red at the words, what do you mean by later? he tries his best to register the words, and the fact that you just called him by his name after what seems like forever, but he doesn't say anything, even though he feels jisung's gaze burning holes into his head. "later? yeah, later".

chenle has no idea why he agreed.

it's you, that's why he agreed.

WHEN CHENLE FINDS HIMSELF SLEEPLESS AGAIN that very night, he doesn't even think before raising out of his bed and deciding he was going to go to the library. he stares at the copy of frenchman's creek on his desk, mind immediately flashing with thoughts of you. he feels the structure of the book cover with his finger, blinking as he weighs his options for a moment. he could go back to sleep, but he could also go to the library and entertain himself with more literature.

"i already got up anyway.." chenle mutters to himself, grabbing the book on his desk and the situated lamp on his desk. he doesn't mind the chills which course through his body, though it's cold, the cold is no longer a bother to him, he's much too busy thinking about books (and you) anyway..

when chenle leaves his room, he notices the halls aren't as dark as they were the other time he walked them when he went to the library the other night. he blinks into the halls, the air practically pushing against him the moment he leaves his room. chenle allows for himself to let out a weary breath, no one is around to watch him be vulnerable anyway.

as he steps out of his room, the floor of the old structure creaking under his feet, he feels a breeze of cold air rush past him, but for some unknown reason, he doesn't shiver.

chenle doesn't allow for himself to stand by and simply breath any longer, so, he takes himself down the hallway, his feet leading him to his familiar place of solace (well second most at least). he notices how the hallway seems to be more lit, he could see torches as he passed through the long corridors, eyes trained on the paintings which situated themselves on the walls.

there have always been paintings decorating the walls, paintings which dictate the many generations of the zhong family. chenle watched as a kid as an artist was appointed to paint him, father, and mother, a new painting to place on the timeline of the zhong dynasty which would extend across the entire palace.

as chenle spends more time thinking about it, it dawns on him, he's going to be displayed on the wall in a painting one day as the king. one day he's going to have to sit down with yinuo and their inevitable child as an artist uses several colors on a canvas to create a painting of the next zhong generation, and his eventual child is going to have to walk past it every time they make it through this expanse of a hallway.

chenle used to enjoy staring at the paintings, used to love watching the process of paintings being created, but now, with father gone, chenle can't bring himself to glance at the painting situated on the wall without feeling nauseous. every time he tries to look at it, a silent breath has to escape his lips, or else he feels like he's going to collapse onto the floor.

he developed a habit of speed walking past the final portrait in the hallway after fathers passing, he could never look at his face again after having to watch the life slowly fade away from his eyes. he can't even look at a photograph of his father anymore without wanting to throw up everywhere.

when chenle makes it to the library, having walked very fast past the last painting in the hallway, he pushes open the doors immediately, wanting so badly to escape the suffocating hallway.

when chenle does make it into the room, he's quick to close the door behind him, but he startles when he notices that someone else is in the room. he blinks and narrows his eyes at the figure in the room, then, he relaxes as he quickly realizes who it is.

it's you.

chenle feels himself calm in just the slightest upon knowing it's you in the room and not some other staff member. it's not that chenle has anything against the other staff, it's just.. it's different with you.

how many times does his mind have to conjure that up as an excuse?

chenle ignores the reprimanding voice, it's one he vaguely recognizes, it's not his voice, it's a distant voice that he thinks he could recognize if he focused hard enough.

but he can't, because you notice him, seemingly reading his thoughts as you turn back to make eye contact with the crown prince. "hi".

"hi" chenle replies easily, it's awkward, of course it's awkward, it's the middle of the night. his eyes dart away from yours, immediately scouring the library. you allow for yourself to snicker at his lack of attention on you, and he notices, now staring dead at you. "what?"

"nothing nothing" you mutter, dismissing it with a wave of your hand. chenle wants to ask about it, but he doesn't, just looks down at the floor. "how was it?"

"huh?"

"the book" you clarify, glancing down at the copy of frenchman's creek chenle has in his hands. chenle quickly feels his face heat up, of course you were referring to the book, what else would you be talking about? the air in the room? his walk down the halls? how he's doing? you patiently wait for his answer, flipping through a book in your hands as you let out a sigh.

"oh uh— it's a surprise, that's for sure, i didn't expect to enjoy it as much as i did, i didn't enjoy the ending, though".

you raise an eyebrow, but a smile comes to your face. "why not?"

chenle finally unfreezes and steps closer to you, the book tucked in his arms as he stands beside you, your shoulders lightly brushing against each other. your eyes finally gaze over at his, and when the two of you make eye contact, it's brief. chenle blinks, and he allows for his lips to turn up, he thinks you look very pretty in this moment, the lighting of the library emphasizing your features.

beautiful, he's beautiful, chenle, a voice sings in his head, a voice which is, again, familiar, but he can't exactly determine who it is.

"i wanted dona and jean to get their happy ending, i was rooting for them".

you hum, seemingly expecting that answer, your eyes shift towards the shelf before you, focused on the books which litter it. "well, i like to think it's realistic, it's not often that people get their happy endings, even if they do deserve it".

chenle takes in your words, it seems like such a you thing to say. "i would've preferred if they did have a happy ending, though, it's why i read fiction in the first place".

"you read fiction because..?"

"it's like an escape from reality".

the words make you pause, and for a second, chenle thinks he must've said something wrong, he can't read the look on your face. he blinks up at you, your silence taking him off guard. "i mean, i guess that makes sense".

you seem to want to say something else, you seem to have a lot of thoughts on your mind, but you don't disclose any of them, just smile. "so, did you like the book?..your highness".

you hesitated before saying it, and chenle knows you wanted to say his name, but you stopped yourself, as always. he feels his gut curl in an uncomfortable way, and he clears his throat.

"y/n?"

"yes?"

chenle takes a deep breath. "were friends" he states immediately, and he notices the way you begin to avoid his eyes, looking everywhere but at him. "were friends, we've known each other since we were seven, you can call me by my name".

the truthful statement makes you pause, and you begin to scour your mind for excuses. "i can't call you by your name, your a noble and i'm a—"

"that's an order".

your mouth closes immediately, you can't argue with that, you can't really argue with anything chenle says. chenle seems pleased by his victory, a small smile showing on his face. you quickly scoff, turning your head away from your childhood friend. "of course you can just do that".

"i just.. it doesn't matter if you work here, your my friend, you can call me by my name".

"alright then, your— chenle, did you like the book?"

chenle chuckles lightly, oh he loves the way you say his name. he remembers when you were younger, you'd always pronounce his name wrong, it frustrated you so much that you would just call him 'le' instead of his full name.

"i did, it was an enjoyable book, the plot made me crave more, i just.. i can't believe it ended like that".

"your still mad about it?"

"yes i'm mad about it! i need my happy ending for my pirate love story!"

you giggle at his words, you giggle, chenle can't believe it. he just made you giggle, in the dead of night, in the palace library, he made you giggle. you take the book away from his hands, placing it back between the other books in the romance section. "sadly, most love stories don't end that way".

chenle sighs, clicking his tongue. "i hate when that happens, i'd like to have just a little hope that true love actually works in the end.."

you chuckle again, shaking your head. "i never thought you'd be a fan of happy endings and stuff like that".

chenle raises an eyebrow, puzzled by the words. "why's that?" he asks, sounding just the slightest bit offended at the statement. you blink, and he guesses that you notice his tone of offense. you find it humorous, and chenle furrows his eyebrows this time.

"i don't know, i guess you struck me as the kind of person who'd enjoy bittersweet endings, you know, you seem to enjoy tragic love stories".

"i do enjoy tragic love stories" chenle makes sure to emphasize his point, and he quickly looks away from you. "but i also like when they have good endings, sometimes, love stories need their happy endings".

"that's cute" you comment, and chenle allows for a smile to come to his face. you didn't call him cute, per se, but it's still enough to make his cheeks go red. he should not be flustered, that's ridiculous, that's— he can't be flustered.

you don't mind his silence, instead walking over to another shelf to see what other books are there. chenle pokes his tongue against his inner cheek, watching you intently. the red dusting his cheeks doesn't go away, it just seems to amplify as you have your back towards him. "it's cute?"

"yeah, i can see where you're coming from, not all love stories need to be.. realistic, if it makes you feel better when the lovers have a happy ending, than who am i to judge?"

chenle rocks back and forth on his heels, letting out a small hum at your words. "so you're the kind of guy who enjoys tragic love stories with horrible endings?"

"on most occasions, yes".

you seem to finally find a book that you'll enjoy, because you pick one from the shelf and turn back to chenle. "so how are you feeling?"

"what?"

you merely glance at chenle, than glance back down at the book in your hands and read the synopsis on the back of it. "how are you feeling these days? you have a lot of new things being stacked on you now, you must be stressed out".

chenle allows for his jaw to drop in just the slightest, it's not like people don't ask him about how he feels, it's that he can't believe you noticed the mini battle he was having with himself. he can't believe you would even be concerned about how he was feeling, he felt like most people wouldn't care about what he was going through anyway.

"oh it's.." chenle pauses, truly not being able to actual formulate coherent words. "well it's a lot, but nothing i haven't been taught how to handle by father".

your face forms into an unreadable expression, one chenle hates because he doesn't exactly know what kind of expression it is. "they prepare you for things like this?"

"well.. mostly, but even with all the excessive lessons, it all kinds of goes to my head and makes my head spin, sometimes it feels like the palace is suffocating me, taking the air out of my lungs and leaving me helpless, sometimes— i don't know, i feel like i'm being swallowed by some horrible force which just wants to make me suffer, i'm not sure why i feel like this really but—"

chenle stops, clearing his throat as he quickly averts his gaze from yours. he has no idea where that vomit of words came from, but he feels if he continues talking, he's going to say something that he'll regret. you don't answer immediately, so chenle decides to speak up once again. "i'm sorry, i have no idea where that came from it's just.. i don't know, pretend i didn't say anything".

"don't apologize, it's good to talk about things like that once in a while, bottling everything up will just overwhelm you even more".

"it's just, i don't talk to people about things like this".

"why not?"

chenle shrugs, not really sure how to answer that question. "i feel they're sort of..unnecessary, i know i can't control how i feel but my feelings have never really felt important in most situations".

"they're important to me".

the words make chenle pause, his ears reddening and a sputter in his voice as he tries his best to respond to that statement. the words are so simple, but they have such a lasting effect on the crown prince that he can't really respond to them. you care, you care, he cares! that one inner voice screams in his head. he feels his heart begin beating sporadically, it's.. god he's so grateful for you. "oh.. uh, really?"

you smile, chuckling softly. "yeah they are, you shouldn't ever feel like they aren't".

chenle feels his stomach flip, you're so sweet. "i.. thank you, y/n".

chenle hopes you don't notice his red face as you spend the rest of the night conversing about several kinds of literature.

"ARE YOU NERVOUS?" CHENLE MAKES THE MISTAKE OF taking a weary breath when that question is asked. he hears the chuckle of amusement sound from his fiancée's lips, and he allows for a small smile to show on his face. "no" he responds, clearly lying, but yinuo doesn't seem to catch it, as he begins to pick at the fabric of her dress. he turns to her, noticing the clear anxiety she displays.

"i am" she responds, putting on her gloves and rubbing a scar on her knuckles. "i've never really been a big fan of.. crowds" she states, her tone exhibiting disgust as she says the word 'crowds'. chenle has been able to pick up on her habits pretty easily, he has spent much more time with her these days after all.

chenle hums at the response, he gets it, even as he grew up having to get used to these kinds of events, it never got easier. the pit in his stomach would often never cease, that nauseating feeling only heightened, and he could just barely mask the anxious expression on his face. "i get that, they're all too loud".

"i mean, do they really care about us that much? they can't just wait until the wedding.."

the sentence makes chenle snicker as he notices the mere irritation in her tone. "they all just want something to do, i guess" he mutters, pulling his sleeve over his wrist and repeating a reassuring mantra in his head.

it's nothing you haven't done before, chenle, just get it over with, and you'll be fine. chenle thinks if he focuses enough, he can hear his father's voice repeating the mantra to him in his head.

he caresses his wrist lightly, settling in the air of the room. he can hear the faint sound of people cheering outside, and just the sound is enough to make his stomach begin flipping, the anxiety is already heightening. "all that just to see us?"

"they want to see how in love we can look".

"seems unnecessary".

"it is unnecessary".

chenle laughs again, finally walking over to his fiancée and linking their arms together. he sighs, looking down at the floor. "you sure you're not nervous?" she asks once again, raising a curious eyebrow as she notices chenle's change in behavior.

"okay maybe i am a little nervous but that's besides the point".

yinuo laughs, humored by chenle's blatant honesty. he simply gives a small smile, turning to the door of the room and letting out another small breath. they have to face a crowd, a crowd of people who are here to see them and celebrate their totally real love, a crowd who are there to watch as they are confirmed future husband and wife, they're going to get married and have children that go on to take the throne, they have to look in love, they have to.. act in love.

chenle doesn't know how in love he can look, he might get too overwhelmed and throw up right then and there. just the idea of having to do all of this is enough to make him want to cry, and he never thought he'd ever think that, because he doesn't cry, he shouldn't cry, father taught him that enough through ear shattering yells and broken glass.

he hates feeling vulnerable, but in a moment like this, having to mask his feelings in front of a crowd of people who don't know any better, who probably don't care, vulnerability is his one true feeling.

he closes his eyes, taking another deep breath as he tries his best to ignore the anxiety settling upon him.

"chenle!"

chenle snaps out his anxious daze at the shout of his name, recognizing the voice as kun, who he remembers he forgot to greet this morning, as he was in a rush.

but it's not just kun, it's also you, and chenle almost falls to the floor and dies right then and there. kun has his fingers wrapped around your wrist, there's a smile on his face (and yours, chenle thinks your smile is so so pretty). "oh, hi kun, y/n".

look at both of them, chenle, not just y/n.

but for once, chenle doesn't listen to the reprimanding voice in his head.

he doesn't even check how in love with you he must look, just a few seconds ago he was freaking out over how he was supposed to look in love with the woman beside him, but he has no problem looking in love with you.

but he doesn't exactly realize that, too busy admiring you clear as day.

"i— we just wanted to wish you good luck" kun nudges you lightly, and you let out a small laugh as you look away nervously, a red hue tinting your cheeks as you avoid chenle's eyes. "both of you, your highness" he adds, bowing lightly at yinuo and nudging you so you can do the same.

yinuo just smiles, lightly laughing, but chenle is stuck in place, mesmerized by you and.. just you. "thank you, i have to say, everyone here is insanely sweet, i feel welcome".

"well that's my job, i can't have any future queens feeling uncomfortable".

the statement from kun makes you snort, and you shove him in the shoulder. you look away from him to glance at chenle, who is still lost in his mind, you furrow your eyebrows as you watch the cogs in his brains turn, what is he thinking so hard about?

"chenle" you call out.

seemingly snapping out of the trip inside of his mind, chenle looks up at you, hoping it isn't obvious that he's affected by your soft calling of his name. "good luck" you reiterate, a small whisper seemingly shared between only the two of you.

chenle feels his face heat up immediately, eyes widening at the sight of your pretty smile. "thank you, both of you, thank you".

chenle doesn't look over at yinuo when she gives him a weird look.

"right! again, good luck! y/n and i have to go do something right y/n?"

you seem to be puzzled by that comment, chenle determines that by the way your eyebrows furrow. "what? but i thought we were supposed to—"

"alright! good luck you two come on y/n let's go!" kun gives a quick smile and grabs your wrist again to drag you away from the newly engaged couple, who watch as you two make your way down the hall towards another part of the palace.

"weird.." chenle mutters.

"so what was that?" yinuo is quick to ask, making chenle snap his head towards her, clearly not expecting for her to ask him a question.

"what was what?"

"that, chenle" she reiterates, alluding to the little (not so little) lovesick gaze chenle had trained on you for that whole interaction. it's clear that, even with how chenle didn't check the adoration he was staring at you with, she definitely did. "you looked so smitten".

chenle allows for his expression to form into one of shock, what does she mean by that? what the fuck does she mean by that? that makes no sense, it's not like he's in love with you or anything, that would be absurd! that would be—

that wouldn't be entirely out of the picture, think about yourself chenle, the most shocking thing here would be you having no romantic feelings for him.

chenle is about to punch himself in the face for having such thoughts.

"i have no idea what your talking about".

"chenle, i know i don't know you personally like that, but i have never seen you look at someone like you look at him! what is his name? y/n? he has to have you under a spell or something, you were mesmerized".

chenle wants to say that those words are stupid, he wants to spit out some quick rebuttal and have them be on their way, but he can't muster up a coherent excuse for what she just described. how is he supposed to argue with that?

"well, y/n does know how to keep people on the hook".

"seems you enjoy being kept on the hook".

the statement makes chenle pause, and he feels his face burn once again, not at the words, but just at the thought of you, god he misses your presence already, is that weird to say? he's glad he doesn't say it out loud.

"it doesn't matter anyway, what am i supposed to do? tell him about it? not with how everything is turning out.. were getting married in a few months".

"but you're not in love with me" yinuo replies, she's sure of her words, she just knows, chenle almost feels like she's reading his mind. "you want him".

"i can't have him" chenle states as if it's a matter of fact, and it's true, he can't have you. it makes his heart hurt, the idea that even with how much he feels for you, how different it is with you, and how he's had these indescribable feelings for you since he was like eleven, he can't have you.

chenle can't run from his fate, the last thing he wants to do is break the rules, challenge a system that's been in place for pretty much decades at this point.

"you're not going to break the rules for true love?"

chenle just lets a disappointed sigh escape his lips, his stomach flips uncomfortably and he feels his head begin spinning, this topic makes him want to die in the worst way possible. "true love doesn't exist" he states rather harshly. god, he sounds like father, if seven year old chenle heard himself now, he'd grimace at the words and scowl at his new nature.

his heart aches as he utters those words, he can't help but think about you as he says those words.

good god, he feels so helpless.

"MOTHER, CAN I ASK YOU A QUESTION?" NINE YEAR OLD CHENLE liked to ask questions. chenle has always liked to ask questions, being curious is in his nature, it's just that unlike jisung, he's less annoying about it. when this question popped into his nine year old brain, he knew there was no way he could ever ask father about it, he'd never be able to come back from it. mother has always been much more understanding, even with the stubborn statements she often spouted.

"yes you can, chenle".

"are.. well, can a noble and a commoner ever end up together?"

the question received silence from his mother, who, though she had previously been humming to a pleasant tune, seemed to freeze at even the idea of that question. the nine year old prince watched as his mother's face did at least seven expression changes in a matter of seconds. "could you elaborate on that question, dear?"

"can royalty marry non-royalty? could i ever be with someone who isn't royal like me?"

the reason nine year old chenle was so interested in asking this question was because of something kun had mentioned to him, about one of his cousins marrying into a royal family far far away. it got his mind turning in ways only a child's mind can, he never knew that could happen, he had grown to think that he would just end up with any other princess but could he really have a different fate? could he really change his future?

seeing as how things have gone now.. no, he couldn't.

"it depends on how it goes down, chenle".

"has it ever happened before?"

"of course it has happened" his mother finally answered, and the curious young prince allowed for his eyes to widen comically. oh he was so interested now. "in most scenarios when it does happen the commoner becomes a royal".

"i thought that was outlawed".

that statement got a laugh out of his mother, which made the nine year old blink dumbly. "it can't be outlawed, chenle, that would be ridiculous".

"so could i be with someone of a different class?"

"well, it depends on how it all works out".

chenle blinked again, the wording of the sentence confusing the young prince even more. "would father ever approve of something like that?"

she then went silent again, turning away from chenle to gaze at the bright blue sky. "i'm.. not sure, you know how unpredictable he is".

"well that's why i didn't ask him this".

another chuckle sounded from his mother, and at nine years old, chenle didn't know what was more shocking, knowing that he could possibly not have to be forced into a marriage with a princess from a faraway kingdom, or knowing that his mother didn't really have an issue with that.

too bad he didn't try to use any of that childlike courage to get his point about this marriage across.

when the little parade celebrating his marriage is over, chenle finds himself immediately on his way somewhere. he doesn't know exactly where he was going, his feet seem to have control over themselves, and he can't exactly stop himself from walking.

oh, he knows where he's going.

his feet lead him to a familiar place, your office. throughout that whole.. gathering thing or whatever, he couldn't stop thinking about you. he usually can't stop thinking about you these days, just talking to you is enough to entertain his mind for weeks, surely that can't be normal, right?

"y/n?"

chenle's sudden call startles you, seeing as how you jump from your previous position at the sound of it. he just sort of stands there awkwardly, allowing for you to compose yourself as you smile at him. oh you're smile is so pretty, chenle could stare at it for hours. "oh lord, you scared me! your highness".

chenle doesn't even register the title, just gives a small smile. "sorry i'm just.." he pauses, trying to collect his words. "i don't know, actually, i just kind of came here on a whim" he shrugs, looking down at the floor and not straight at you.

you simply let out a silent chuckle, turning back to your desk and going back to packing. chenle blinks, biting down on his bottom lip as he clears his throat. "oh really? is something bothering you?"

chenle allows for himself to look up again, your back is turned now anyway, so you can't see his rapidly reddening face. "a lot is bothering me, really, it feels like i can't do anything these days without feeling like the world is slowly tearing me apart limb by limb".

"well that's certainly a way to explain your feelings" chenle can't tell how you feel about the whole thing from the tone of your voice, it's something that makes him worry, because he's anxious your making fun of him and he won't be able to tell.

much to his own surprise, you turn around and step towards him. "are you feeling alright? like— physically at least?" you ask, tilting your head to the side to get a better look at him. just your eyes on him is enough to have chenle's stomach doing cartwheels, he hopes you don't notice how flustered he is, that would be extremely embarrassing.

"yeah i'm not dying or anything i'm just.. i'm overwhelmed".

well you'd expect that from someone like chenle, someone in such a position of power. chenle is a crown prince set to be king, he's getting married in a few months (that fact makes your heart hurt for a reason you can't explain), he's the next ruler of the zhong dynasty, of course he is feeling overwhelmed.

"ah well that's expected" you laugh lightly. "you have no symptoms though?"

is my clearly reddening face a symptom? my fluttering stomach? my seemingly labored breathing? why can't you tell i'm madly in love with you yet!?

the screaming voice in his head is just as annoyed as chenle is at his current circumstances. you narrow your eyes as you stare at him, and for a moment, chenle thinks you might be reading his mind, but he quickly dismisses such thoughts because that's ridiculous.

"no, no symptoms, i'm alright".

you seem to want to ask for more reassurance, but you don't, instead shutting your mouth and smiling at chenle. "good, i can't have you dying".

"you'd never let me die".

"you're right about that".

chenle looks down at the floor, determined to not make eye contact with you. "where are you heading?"

chenle only realizes then that you're packing your stuff, he didn't even note it down when he stepped into the room and saw that you were doing it, he was much more focused on just beginning a conversation with you, he was much more focused on talking than observing.

you hum, giving him a mere glance then looking back down to the small set of items you were packing. "i'm going to visit my mother".

chenle blinks, the words coming as a small surprise to him. "why? is she alright?"

you quickly glance back up to give him a reassuring smile. "just doing a routine check up, and it's nice to visit your mother once in a while, i need to make sure she's doing well".

chenle responds with a small 'ah', watching as you continue to pack, he feels his stomach churn uncomfortably once again, if he stays in this castle any longer, he might die from the walls which seem to slowly be pushing the air out of his lungs.

"can i come?"

chenle has no idea where that came from, it's like he had no control over his own thoughts or words, he blurted that out in a moment of vulnerability, a moment of.. wanting. he can't stay here any longer, he might die. you now fully look at him and furrow your eyebrows, clearly as puzzled as chenle is by the words. "what?" you chuckle lightly, and chenle feels his face burn immediately.

"i'm sorry, i don't even know where that came from i'll g—"

"no no you can.." you pause for a moment, collecting your words. "you can tag along if you want to i just— i don't know, you can leave the castle?"

"well yeah, but that doesn't mean you have to take me with you i don't even know why i asked that in the first place".

"chenle" you say softly, and just you saying his name like that has chenle's knees feeling weak. how did he deny his feelings for you for so long when you have him feeling like this? he's almost positive you can notice how flustered he is now. "if you want to come visit her with me, you can".

chenle stares at you for what seems like years (in his eyes), contemplating whether he should take your offer. your basically holding your hand out to him, begging for him to take it, for him to intertwine his fingers with yours. how could he ever turn down such a proposition?

"i— okay".

"okay? so you'll accompany me?"

"yeah, yes yes! i will" he replies much too enthusiastically for his own liking, you seem to catch on, as you laugh at his sudden shout. if your laugh wasn't so pretty chenle would've immediately turned away and replied with some snappy rebuttal.

"nice" you whisper, finally finishing your packing. chenle watches you intently, he can't exactly speak at the moment. luckily, you speak up once again. "we have to do something, though".

"what?"

you catch chenle's puzzled expression, and you laugh once again. "a disguise, just so you don't cause an uproar while we go visit my mother".

for the first time this whole entire day, chenle lets out a small laugh, amused by the words which escape your lips. "were gonna sneak around?"

you snicker, looking down at the floor. oh you're adorable, chenle shouts it out in his head, he can't tell you face to face so he'll shout it there.

"yeah, guess you could say that".

though he's just the slightest bit skeptical, chenle trusts you, and a smile crosses his face.

CHENLE DIDN'T REALLY THINK HE'D HAVE as much fun as he does sneaking into the village with you. well it's not really sneaking, you live here, you've grown up here, you just had to put him in some totally not suspicious cloak so that he doesn't draw attention when you make it outside of the castle. he almost fell on his face when you dragged him out of the palace gates, because of the way you dragged him, and because you started holding his hand.

chenle feels like a girl obsessing over a boy crush, just you holding his hand is enough to make him begin overthinking the whole thing in his head. according to you, you had to hold his hand to make things seem more natural, but he suspects that you're lying because of how red your face is as you try to avoid eye contact with him.

chenle has only really been to the village a few times in his whole life, though he's had his fair share of experiences here as a child, he never got to stop and observe his surroundings, much too busy trying to settle his anxiety while watching all of the people in the crowd burn holes into his head with their stares.

chenle has always been fascinated by the lives of others, whether it be the stories kun told of the urban legends village kids would spread, or the many times he begged the staff to take him on carriage rides throughout the kingdom as a child. he likes seeing situations through other people's eyes, the life of citizens who don't live as royalty seems like nothing far from the fictional stories he reads in the books in the library.

"you almost pulled off my arm, that was totally suspicious!" chenle whisper-yells, but it's not a shout of seriousness, it's playful, the beginning of a banter.

"oh i'm sorry your highness! do you need medical attention?"

chenle feigns an offensive gasp at the sarcastic comment from you, which results in nothing but a snicker from you as you nudge him with your shoulder. he caresses the back of your hand with his thumb unconsciously, ignoring his clearly heating cheeks as he performs the action.

"do you still live in the same place you grew up?"

"hm? oh yeah, we could never really afford to get another place, it's become a super comforting place for me.."

"ah, i see".

chenle admires your face for much longer than he was supposed to, and if you notice, you don't seem to care enough to comment on it.

chenle allows for his eyes to roam freely around the expanse of a town. it's a pretty place, even with how tiny it seems, he feels much more relaxed here than in the large palace he grew to know as a home, the palace was really in the middle of nowhere, no fellow citizens around for him to make connections with or whatever. this town is the clear definition of community, the kind of place where everyone knows everyone.

"oh y/n! y/n!"

chenle startles from his thoughts when a shout rings in his ears, you snap your head towards the figure, a figure chenle can tell you recognize because you give them a smile, he opts to stay silent in this interaction. "hi tao, how is ying doing?"

the man smiles brightly at you, pulling you into an abrupt hug, making your fingers slip from chenle's. you squeak as he squeezes you in his arm, but you manage a smile, resisting the urge to glare at chenle as he silently snickers at your suffering. "she's recovering well! thank you so much, i don't know how i could ever repay you!"

"there's no need to" you smile softly again, finally able to remove yourself from his crushing grip, you rub your aching arm and awkwardly chuckle. "i just enjoy helping others, i'm glad she's feeling better, tell her i said hi".

"will do! thank you so much!"

the guy gives one last smack on your shoulder before walking off, and chenle has to resist the urge to laugh loudly as you wince from the strong grip who had been squeezing you to death with that hug.

"are you enjoying my misery, your highness?"

chenle can barely contain his laugh as he looks over at you, being met with your deadpanned gaze. he looks down at the floor to stop his giggling, making you frown. "no, it was just too hilarious not to laugh at".

"uh huh, you're sooo funny".

though you were clearly irritated by chenle's laughing fit, you only softly smiled at him trying to hide his laughter. you reach over to take his hand once again, just playfully glaring at him. "yeah continue laughing at my suffering, we still have to make it to my mother's house".

chenle, again, gets jolted forward by a strong tug on his hand, but he doesn't say anything more, just snickers as he sees the pure dedication in your eyes. he smiles as he sees the look in your eye, you're just so adorable.

when you abruptly stop, chenle bumps into you, and your fingers slip from his, an action which makes him frown in just the slightest. he likes holding your hand, he has no idea why, but he does.

you begin digging through your bag for your house key, and chenle simply watches, listening to you hum the tune of a song, one you always hum the tune to whenever you find yourself bored. "here" you whisper, victorious in your search for your keys. you quickly unlock the door and gesture for chenle to follow you in with nothing but the tilt of your head, he silently steps into your childhood home, a comforting feeling in the air as he closes the door behind him.

while you drop your bag onto a nearby table and begin looking through it again, chenle slowly removes the cloak he had been wearing as he observes his surroundings.

the place is nice, small, but nice. it has a comfortable sort of air that makes chenle want to immediately relax, it's not the fanciest place, or the biggest place, but it's a home, a comfortable, quiet home. chenle would love to live here, maybe in another life, a life where he doesn't end up born into a highly respected royal family, he just gets to live like this, it's a place that seems to bring a feeling of solace.

chenle glances over at you, your eyebrows furrowed as you continue going through your bag. you seem to sense his eyes, because you glance up at him and you meet his eyes. you blink, then glance over at a door across the room. "you can go see her if you want".

chenle awkwardly chuckles as he glances at the door your eyes were on, he then glances back at you. "i— can you come with me?"

chenle just wants to stay around you.

you stare puzzled for a moment, but you don't question it, you leave your bag alone and gesture for chenle to follow you to your mother's room. chenle stays silent the whole way there, noticing the way your mood changes as you step closer to the door.

you knock on the door. "mom?"

when you open the door, you peak your head through, a small chuckle escaping your lips as you hear her say something. "yes yes i know, i'll remember to tell her, i brought a guest".

chenle slowly peaks from behind you, giving your mother a small smile. "hello" he greets softly.

your mother gasps, sitting up in her bed. "zhong chenle?"

chenle lightly chuckles, looking down at the floor, you nudge him with your shoulder. "oh my goodness, you've grown so much! come here give me a hug!"

chenle is almost surprised, he was afraid she was going to have a bad reaction to his presence, but she was much more excited to see him than he thought she would be. you push chenle into her room, motioning for him to fulfill your mothers wish.

she quickly wrapped her arms around him when he got close enough to her. her hugs are still as warm as he remembers, he almost wants to hug her forever and never let go. "how are things going these days? i wanted to go to that little parade of yours but y/n forbid me from doing so!"

"because you were vomiting all morning, i wasn't going to risk it".

she pulls away from the hug to grab both of chenle's hand, smiling softly at him. the smile reminiscent of the smiles she would share with him in the hallways of the palace when she used to work there. "you always worry so much" she raises an eyebrow at you before turning back to chenle. "how have you been these days?"

chenle smiles at her, noticing you leave the room, but too focused on answering the question from your mother to follow you. "i've been good, just a little stressed from everything happening lately".

her eyes widen again, and she nods excessively. "right! your getting married soon! how are you feeling about the whole thing?"

chenle's face falls just a little bit, but he quickly reverts back to a smile, not wanting to worry her with a random frown crossing his face. "it's all.. new, it'll take some time to get used to but i know i can get through it".

the older woman smiles at him, seemingly liking those words. "that's good, i'm glad you're still friends with y/n, he missed you".

chenle blinks, the words surprising him. "he missed me?"

your mother chuckles at the question. "yes he did, i remember watching the two of you run around the castle together as children, i was afraid the friendship wouldn't last, when i first resigned, y/n said he feared you two would drift apart".

chenle almost gasps at the information he receives. were you really worried about that? for the longest time he felt like such a bad friend because he began having no time for you as the two of you grew up, yeah that's what happens as people get older but he'd always see the flash of disappointment in your eyes when he had to be dragged away for another stupid royal meeting.

"i didn't know he felt that way, it's getting much more difficult to get him alone with everything going on".

"i heard you two are beginning to talk more, he always comes to me so giddy about it these days".

chenle is again surprised by the information he hears, a small laugh of disbelief escapes his lips at the words. "really?"

"yeah, he came freaking out over you two talking about books, books! you make him so happy, chenle".

the words strike chenle like a slap in the face, it's just so shocking to him he stands with his mouth agape for much longer than he'd like to admit. his face burns at the fact, at the idea that pops into his brain.

the idea that you might feel the same.. that you might reciprocate his feelings.

he swears smoke is going to begin pouring out of his ears from how heated his face has become.

"i'm glad i could do that, y/n is truly a blessing, i don't know what i'd do without him".

chenle thinks those must've been his truest words today, a look into what's really going on in his head, a look into how he really feels.

god it's always with you isn't it?

"it was nice seeing you again, mrs. l/n, i'm glad your recovering well".

at the word 'recovering', the older woman suddenly tenses, an anxious look in her eye as she looks away from the crown prince. "right, yes, thank you for visiting, chenle, it was nice seeing you too".

chenle smiles at your mother, nodding. "i'll leave you be now".

chenle slips his hands from hers, smiling one more time before leaving her room, gently closing the door behind him. he turns around and looks over at you, your still rummaging through your back, but chenle can tell you aren't looking for something, you seem to be trying to distract yourself.

"y/n?" chenle calls out, seemingly against his own will, because he's surprised by the sound of his own voice. you simply hum in response, not wanting to look him in the eye for some unknown reason. he quickly makes his way over to you, standing beside you and accidentally bumping your shoulders.

"is she really sick? i mean she looks fine! much finer than any sick people i've seen—"

"it's her kidneys".

you cut into chenle's sentence with a shaky tone of voice, you look over at chenle, sighing as you see the confusion cross his face. "her kidneys are failing, chenle".

chenle feels his heart drop upon hearing that, and you look away as you see his reaction to the news. "what? but how did that even happen—"

you let out a distressed sigh, gritting your teeth and closing your eyes. "she contracted lupus, right before she took that break back a few years ago, she recovered and we thought everything was fine but then she started vomiting every other day and i couldn't figure out what was wrong so we went to a doctor outside of the kingdom and.."

you look like you're about to cry, and you take in a deep breath to blink away the oncoming tears, but you persist, not wanting to break down in front of the crown prince. "she got diagnosed with chronic kidney disease, by that point she had been suffering from it for a whole five months! and what can i do? it's.."

incurable.

the word simmers into the air, it's unsaid, but both of you know what's truly going on. your both silent, none of you saying a word as silence quickly takes over the room. chenle finally takes the initiative and glances over at you, the tears brimming in your eyes threatening to fall at any moment.

still, you don't allow for yourself to become vulnerable in front of chenle, wiping the tears that haven't fallen from your eyes. "it's a lot to try and digest at once i'm just.. i'm not ready to see her go".

chenle gets it, anyone would get it, he stays silent, afraid of not being able to do the comforting as well as you do. "i'm sorry".

"there's no need to apologize, i mean— this is just how life works!"

"i hate that it works that way" chenle responds, fathers dying eyes flash in his mind, and he bites into his bottom lip so hard that it begins bleeding. god, he hates that memory, father only passed away no less than a year ago, and the image of his lifeless face still haunts chenle in his nightmares.

"yeah, but what can i do?" your clearly trying to be positive, but it's difficult for you to. "i'm just worried that one day i'll come home and she'll be gone.. i already had to go through it with dad and now— i don't know how i'll deal with it".

chenle stares at you, a small smile comes to your face as you glance back at him. chenle wants to cry just seeing you try to hold back your own tears, so he looks away from you quickly.

he then looks back at you, moving closer to you and taking your hand. "if you ever need someone to talk to, to vent to, to— yell and cry at.. i'm here".

you chuckle at the words, tears again welling up in your eyes. chenle feels you squeeze his hand, and he smiles softly at the sight of you. "really? you'll listen to my stupid ramblings?"

"yeah" chenle responds, nodding a little bit too enthusiastically, but he doesn't care. "i will, your feelings are just as important as mine, and you're my friend, it's what friends do".

you squeeze his hand, laughing softly again as you let a small tear slip down your face. "thank you, chenle".

"it's no problem, y/n".

CHENLE IS GENUINELY GOING INSANE, AND ITS ALL because of you. he can't focus on anything but you, and it's literally driving him crazy. he has never, never in his 21 years of living on this earth ever felt so much for just one person, what is it with you? he can't even think about you without his face turning a bright shade of red, his palms easily get sweaty and his words become nothing but a jumbled mess.

chenle finds it hilarious, how he was raised to be poised and proper, never swear, never talk when you don't have to, never interrupt others, sit like this sit like that, speak like this, speak like that, but right now, he's acting like a psycho more than anything.

he's pacing around his room like he just lost his mind or something, completely distracted from everything else as his mind is focused on you and you only.

he must look crazy, hair messy, clothes in disarray, pacing back and forth as he tries to figure out if feeling like this is normal, or even allowed here.

"chenle? could you explain to me why your mother wants— oh dear".

kun walks in midway through chenle's strange breakdown thingy, and the younger isn't even paying attention to him because he's screaming into the pillow on his king sized bed. the older watches in concern, and the breath chenle lets out is a mix of weary and frustrated. "chenle? what's wrong?"

kun drops the clipboard he'd previously been holding to rush over to the younger's side, if he focuses hard enough, he swears he can see tears welling up in chenle's eyes. "chenle.."

chenle sniffles, looking down at the pillow in his lap. "i'm in love with him, kun".

kun blinks, dumbfounded. "with who?"

"with y/n! i can't— oh my god i'm so stupid!" the crown prince grabs his pillow again and lets out a well needed scream of agony, a scream that makes kun sigh as he stares at the sight before him. "i don't get it! why does he make me feel like this!? everything is so complicated and i can't even do anything about it because i get married in two months—!"

"okay okay, calm down" kun is quick to cut in, pressing a quick thumb to his cheek to wipe away the tears. "take a deep breath, talk coherently".

chenle sniffles again, taking in another breath and then exhaling, collecting himself as he tries his best to think coherently. "i don't know, kun, it's all getting to my head, i want him so bad yet i can't have him".

and just the fact makes chenle stomach drop, he wants to start sobbing once again, but he contains his tears. "it's stupid i know—"

"it's not stupid, chenle, it's totally fine to have complicated feelings about things, and people, but you'll never have closure if you don't tell him how you feel".

"but what's the point, kun?" chenle doesn't see why it would matter anyway, what would you even do when he told you how he felt? would you grimace and push him away? would you accept his confession? what would you do? it's all he can think about. "what difference does it make?"

"it gets the pressure off your back.. and, if it's any consolation for you, both you and y/n can finally come to terms with your feelings".

chenle's eyes widen at the words, they settle a new emotion on him he can't exactly explain. "what the hell do you mean by that?"

"language, your highness" kun jokingly reprimands, his tone reminiscent of his mothers scoldings whenever chenle would mess up the garden of roses on occasions. "y/n might've.. told me some things, but you'll have to ask him about that".

"that isn't fair!"

"it is! you have to ask him yourself, it's the only way to get yourself in order!"

chenle deadpans at his older friend, but kun just snickers at his expression, lightly shoving his shoulder. "don't look at me like that, you know i'm right".

chenle would roll his eyes, but kun does have a point. "maybe i'll listen to you.."

"you should".

chenle has to resist the urge to roll his eyes at that response too.

CHENLE THINKS YOU LOOK EXCEPTIONALLY PRETTY when you read. it's not that you're not usually exceptionally pretty, it's just that he enjoys admiring your profile as you read, eyes narrowed, eyebrows furrowed, lips occasionally parting in shock, he could stare for hours. he might look creepy on a few certain occasions, but you rarely ever notice.

chenle doesn't know how many times the two of you have been up together late in the night, just sitting in the library talking about literature. he doesn't even remember what your talking about most of the time, but he loves talking to you about bullshit pertaining to the books your both into.

for the both of you, books are sort of an escape in a way. chenle enjoys indulging himself in worlds of fiction to distract himself from his mess of a life, and you enjoy indulging yourself in messy love stories with terrible endings to distract yourself from your own issues in life.

it's all truly a coping mechanism for you two.

you both are a coping mechanism for each other, chenle finds it all simpler around you, and you feel as if you don't have to be so professional around him anymore.

chenle doesn't sleep much these days, but that's because he's spending most of his nights in the library with you. he likes listening to you talk, the way you simply piece together your words is amazing.

"and it was so sad! i cried my eyes out for weeks after reading that!"

chenle snickers at your whining, and you caress the material of the book in your hands. "i mean.. the book is literally called, they both die in the end".

"i know! i know! but that doesn't mean it's still not sad" you frown, recalling the ending of the book you were rambling about.

you quickly stop your pouting and make your way over to another part of the library, the section including romance books. chenle doesn't follow you, but his eyes surely do, he makes sure to keep them trained on you, as if you'd disappear if he even looked away from you for just a moment.

"do you want any more recommendations? or..?"

"oh, no no no" chenle shakes his head. "i just—" he pauses, having no idea how to say the words without sounding like some weirdo who totally has a crush on you.

well he is a weirdo who totally has a crush on you, how hypocritical.

"i like listening to you talk".

you blink at his words, noticeably flustered at the way they came out. chenle takes your silence as you judging him, so he's quick to chuckle awkwardly and begin waving dismissing hands. "i didn't mean to say that i know it was weird and stuff—!"

"no no! it wasn't weird i'm just.. i'm not used to being told things like that, you're so unique with your words and i never know how to respond to them".

"oh.."

"yeah".

you click your tongue, and chenle simply stares. oh you affect him so much without doing anything, what is up with you? his ears are burning, he might collapse at the very moment.

what was that kun said again? you'll never get any closure if you don't just tell him how you feel. yeah, he isn't sure if he'll be able to do it.

"can i show you something?"

chenle's breath hitches against his will, he has no idea why he's nervous, why the hell is he nervous? it's just you, it's you, his friend since he was a child, his oldest friend, you probably know him better than he thinks you do.

you wouldn't do anything bad.

"is it terrible?" he raises an eyebrow, and you laugh. your laughter is pretty, so pretty. "well? is it?"

"no, just come here" you beckon chenle over to you with your hand, a hand he almost shies away from, but he can't shy away from you, so he steps closer, following you. he feels like a mind controlled puppet, your a magnet attracting him closer and closer until he presses into you.

you smile as you see chenle in your peripheral vision, your fiddling with something in your fingers. chenle furrows his eyebrows, having no idea what it is, he tries to look over your shoulder, but you quickly block his eyesight, much to his own dismay. "why are you hiding?"

"i'm not hiding! be patient, your highness".

your teasing tone of voice doesn't make it past chenle, but he doesn't stay anything, just keeps his mouth shut. you hum as you turn back to chenle, still fiddling with your fingers as you smile at the crown prince, who is puzzled by what you're doing exactly.

you then open your palm, extending it forward towards chenle, and his eyes widen at what he sees.

"what is..?"

"we— um.. remember that friendship bracelet i made for you when we were ten? the one you broke?"

chenle laughs lightly, his face burning. "yes i remember.."

"well, i kept mine, and because were.. you know, friends again, i remade it for you, if you want it of course!"

chenle stares at you, then he stares at the bracelet in your hand, and he can't resist the urge to smile. you're absolutely adorable, sweet, chenle really really really likes you. his silence makes you anxious, and you want to begin picking your fingers until they bleed.

chenle must realize it, because he immediately laughs, a hearty laugh, a lovely laugh. "y/n, i love it, it's so.. cute i can't— how long did it take you to make this?"

"well i was thinking about it for a while and i just barely finished this last night i just.. i don't know, i missed you, a lot" you say, your words a vomit of adoration, oh you're so adorable. "it was a brash decision really".

"you're so—"—cute—"sweet, really".

you again step closer to chenle, silently asking to have his wrist with the extension of your hand. he doesn't even think before placing his hand into yours, allowing for you to slip the bracelet onto his wrist. it fits perfectly. of course it does, chenle can barely stifle his giggle.

he feels so giddy.

you don't let go of his hand, and chenle doesn't move his hand either. he stares at the indirect act of affection, his hand gently placed upon your palm, a palm that you aren't moving. what are you two doing? what the hell is going on?

"y/n" chenle calls out, his voice barely elevated as he avoids eye contact with you. "what is.. what are we doing?"

"i don't know" you mutter, blinking. you don't even think before taking your free hand and intertwining it with chenle's other free hand, now your holding both of his hands, an action that has chenle's face reddening to amazing heights. "your hands are warm".

chenle simply looks away, basking in the feeling of your fingers laced with his. he likes holding your hand, it just feels right, your fingers intertwined with his, your hands placed on his.

"yours are cold".

the words are nothing but your observations of each other whispered into the air. it's a strangely intimate moment, you two are just staring at each other in the library, your short breaths can be heard in the silence of the huge room around you.

you sink your teeth into your bottom lip, then stare at chenle's. chenle blinks, he sees you, he sees what you're doing, but it doesn't seem like you're trying to be slick, you don't care, you are unashamed in your decision.

he isn't really sure how to feel about that.

you lean closer, much closer than chenle thinks he could ever handle. you give a small smile, and chenle wants to faint. he's holding your hands, your leaning close to him, and you look you want to kiss him.

and he wants to kiss you.

oh he wants to do it so bad.

"may i?" you ask, but you aren't looking chenle in the eyes, your staring directly at his lips. chenle almost chokes on his spit, are you really asking him if you can kiss him? do you really like him as much as he likes you? is he dreaming?

he stares like an idiot for so long that he almost looks frozen.

chenle nods wordlessly, but that's not good enough of an answer for you.

"verbal consent, chenle".

chenle wants to pull you into a kiss by force right now.

"yes! yes, you may".

you note his enthusiasm, enthusiasm that makes his face redden, he looks away from you, clearly embarrassed.

you chuckle silently, letting go of his left hand to take his jaw and turn him back towards you. then, you lean forward and press a kiss to his lips.

it's short, sweet, and ends in pretty much two seconds.

your cheeks are dusted red, and you immediately look away from chenle upon finishing your action. "that was stupid, right? i'm sorry! i don't know why i did that i jus—"

chenle doesn't let you finish, he grabs the back of your neck and smashes your lips together. you let out a small squeak of surprise, clearly not expecting the action, but you quickly relax into the kiss, sighing softly as you let an arm wrap around his waist, pulling him closer with your hand on his back.

it's.. nice, it feels right, chenle is relaxed. his heart isn't pounding uncomfortably, he doesn't feel that anxious pit in his stomach, his chest isn't tight, he feels like he can breath (ironic, really), and he doesn't want to burst into tears at his circumstances.

he feels good, he feels content.

god, it's always with you isn't it?

"wait wait, hold on" you pull away for air, pressing your forehead against chenle's as you gather your words. you chuckle awkwardly, looking down at the floor instead of at the crown prince in front of you. "sorry, i don't know how to feel about this".

chenle blinks up at you, and all you can see are his pretty eyes staring at you. you fumble through your speech, trying your best to be coherent even with the way he was staring. "i'm just.. i don't know, i have to check up on my heart levels and shit—"

chenle gasps loudly. "language, y/nie".

"you can't just say that after you literally took away my breath you.." you stop in your speech, snickering at the way you're acting, the red on your cheeks doesn't disappear, but chenle thinks he likes it that way.

"y/n" you look up as chenle calls your name again, now completely focused on him. "i.. i don't really know how to say this but i— i like you, okay? like a lot, not even just that i'm in love with you! it's.. complicated".

wow, so much for a smooth confession, chenle.

chenle narrows his eyes at the voice in his mind, it sounds like.. you?

you freeze at the confession, your whole body paralyzed as you try your best to process the words in your head.

"oh".

chenle can't tell how you feel by your tone of voice, but to him, it doesn't sound good.

CHENLE USED TO BE AFRAID OF ASKING HIS FATHER certain questions. he was unpredictable in the sense that chenle never knew how he'd react if he asked him a question as simple as what 1+1 was. when father was alive, chenle feared him, not because he was physically violent or anything, but because he was intimidating. the air temperature would lower whenever he stepped into the room, and the way his voice boomed when he talked was enough to have chenle shivering for weeks.

"father, may i ask you a question?"

"is it a stupid question?"

at thirteen years old, chenle was still as fearful of his father as he was back when he was seven, and he almost wanted to cry the moment his father responded to his question with another question. he swallowed his own spit, a feeling of anxiety immediately settling onto him. "well— i'm not sure.."

his fathers shoulders relaxed, and he hummed. "what is it, chenle?"

"why do i have to get married?"

the question was much more abrupt than chenle wanted it to be, and he clamped his mouth shut as soon as the words escaped his lips. his father stayed silent at the question, which didn't lessen his worries, it worried him much more than it should've.

his father then chuckled, he chuckled, and chenle almost let out a gasp upon seeing the sight. when was the last time he'd seen that happen? the sight was truly one to behold, he was amused, amused!!

"why are you so curious about that? you're way too young to be interested in stuff like marriage".

"i'm not that interested i just— i heard mother say something about it and i.. i don't know! i just want an answer".

his father turned back to him, an unintelligible expression on his face that chenle still doesn't understand even to this day. "let me ask you a question, chenle, do you want to get married?"

the question struck chenle as odd, but judging by his father's smile in the moment, the question was very much needed. the thirteen year old prince blinked, puzzled, but he didn't let the question linger in the air for too long, afraid of upsetting his father with his silence.

"maybe, in the future, when the time is right, with someone who i like, and know is a good.. person to me".

"person?"

chenle nodded, wordless as he tried his best not to shrink under his father's gaze.

"ah, i see".

chenle had no idea where he was trying to go with that question and statement.

"what kind of person?"

chenle was once again speechless at the question, he allowed for his eyes to roam around the room as he scoured his brain for an answer to his father's question. then, he spotted his answer, it was you, giggling with kun about a dumb joke as your mother rummaged through her work bag for something.

you caught his eye in the moment, smiling the sight of him as you waved, mouthing a small hi from where you were across the room.

chenle giggled at the sight, waving as well as he returned your greeting.

unfortunately for him, father noticed everything.

"oh? someone like y/n?"

chenle immediately snapped his head towards his father, beginning to sputter at the assertion from him. "y/n? what do you mean by that?"

his father merely glanced over at you, his lips unconsciously quirking up into a smile. "you seem to like y/n, the two of you are friends right?"

"yes, yeah we are".

"huh" his father clicked his tongue. "if you ever do get to decide who you want to marry in the future, let it be someone like him".

chenle choked on his spit, he had no idea how to respond to that. the words have stuck with him forever, even after father's death, even after his marriage to yinuo was confirmed, the words ring in his head whenever chenle does as much as look at you anymore.

it's been a week, a week, a whole entire seven days, and you have been avoiding chenle like the plague. literally. you see him in the halls and make a break for the nearest door, you catch his eyes randomly and you immediately look away. you don't smile, you don't stop to make small talk, you just turn your back and run away.

did he do something wrong? did you really not return his feelings? (no! that can't be true! why would you kiss him back if you didn't feel at least something for him?). chenle has no idea why you're suddenly avoiding him, but you are, and he has to figure out why.

so, when chenle finishes having a totally fun conversation with his mother, he makes a beeline towards your office, he knows your there, because you aren't anywhere else during the day usually. you don't visit your mother on tuesdays, chenle knows that very well.

he stops in front of the door of your office, a sudden anxious feeling taking over him. he raises his fist to knock, but then lets it fall, he instead turns the knob and opens the door to your office.

you don't perk up immediately at the sound of the door opening, mainly because your back is turned and your focused on cleaning up a rubbing alcohol spill. chenle doesn't say anything, the silence in the room practically swallowing him whole.

you still don't look back, simply humming. "did you leave something here, kun? are you going to nag me about cuts again?"

chenle keeps silent.

when you finally do turn back to look at chenle, expecting kun, you pause, an unreadable expression crossing your face. you clear your throat, smiling awkwardly as you tucked your hair behind your ear. "hi, your highness".

chenle's jaw clenches, what's with the sudden switch up? why aren't you calling him by his name anymore?

"hi, y/n".

another uncomfortable silence takes over the room, and chenle wants to die in that very moment. there's no playful banter, there's no snickering, you two aren't talking, this is one of the strangest things to ever happen to the both of you in your whole entire friendship.

you two always talk, even if it's just small talk, this random silence makes chenle anxious.

"did i do something wrong?"

judging by your reaction, that wasn't the question to ask. you simply chuckle, going back over to the spilled rubbing alcohol and finishing up with your business. "no".

"so what happened?"

"nothing happened".

"it doesn't seem that way, you've been avoiding me ever since.." chenle looks down at the floor, picking at his nails as he tries not to stare at you. "you know".

you hum, finally turning back to chenle again with the intention of making eye contact. chenle looks over at you, but not directly in your eyes, just at your face. "we can't, chenle".

"what?"

"we can't be.. we just can't, chenle".

chenle's eyebrows furrow. "you could at least elaborate on that".

"you know what i'm talking about, chenle" you grit your teeth, but you aren't frustrated by chenle, no, you seem frustrated by yourself. "you're getting married soon and i'm.. i'm nothing like you, this isn't right—"

"what makes you think that?" chenle cuts in, what is wrong with you? what the hell is wrong with you? is that really what you think? he's about to kill you. "are you embarrassed?"

"embarrassed? what? no! no! i'm literally the one who offered to kiss you i just.." you cover your face with your hand, letting a distressed groan escape your lips. "i don't want to be the reason everything goes wrong for you".

"is that really how you feel? is that really how you think i feel..?"

"chenle" you begin softly, your tone of voice making chenle's stomach flip. you close your eyes and clasping your own hands together. "i do like you too, i— love you, even, but we just can't be together".

oh. that's what it's about.

chenle sucks in a breath, he wants to shout at you, not because your making him mad, but because your right, and he knows it. he wants— no, he needs to break something, throw something against the wall in frustration, break a glass window. just anything to keep himself from having a full on mental breakdown from your very words.

"of course you would say that".

you scoff at his petty tone, but you sound more disappointed than frustrated. "your acting like i'm doing this on purpose, if things were different then maybe—"

"why can't we make it work now? huh? why does it have to be if things were different?"

"because you're getting married chenle! you— you're going to become king and i don't want to hold this over your head".

"you're so.. stupid! how is that all you've gotten from this situation?" now chenle is getting desperate, he wants you to change your mind, even if he knows it's unlikely that will actually ever happen. "you're not holding anything over my head and you're not going to make anything go wrong, i don't get it!"

"i'm being realistic.."

"how is that realistic?"

"because it's better than potentially losing my job! chenle! i have to take care of my mother, i can't afford to risk my position because someone thinks you're cheating on your fiancée with me".

your words sting, but they don't sting chenle, they sting you. your chest hurts, so you simply shake your head, sighing in defeat. your arms drop to your side and you turn away from chenle, gritting your teeth.

all chenle can do is give you a look of sympathy. "y/n—"

"chenle, leave it alone" you snap, yet you don't come off as annoyed, more upset. "i'd prefer if you'd leave".

you really just need to think, you just need to peacefully gather your thoughts without chenle in the room.

chenle wants to argue with you, to walk forward and take you by your arm, to grab you by your face and kiss you senselessly whilst telling you that he doesn't care about what anyone thinks.

but chenle obeys your wish, turning around and leaving the room.

KUN KNOWS CHENLE ALL TOO WELL AT THIS point that the younger is convinced that he's a mind reader. from his narrowed eyes to his silent snickers, he can always tell what chenle's feeling before chenle himself even does. back when they were younger, chenle assumed kun had to be some sort of supernatural being, possessing some kind of telepathic power or something, but as he's grown up, he realizes the older is just that observent.

case in point: chenle's current attitude.

"why do you keep sulking? they teach you not to do that at like.. age ten?"

kun's comment doesn't receive it's usual rebuttal from chenle, it simply gets silence, silence that kun hums at. he resists the urge to roll his eyes, standing beside the stubborn crown prince. "okay, tell me what happened".

"what?"

"there's no use in pretending that you don't know what i'm talking about, chenle, what happened?"

kun has always been assertive in this sense, chenle finds his power to be absolutely shocking. maybe, in another universe, their roles are reversed, kun would make a better ruler than chenle ever could anyway.

"i'm an idiot, kun".

the statement results in kun letting out a strange sound, a sound of complete confusion. he then raises an eyebrow, one that makes chenle want to dig a hole and die in it forever. "what is that supposed to mean?"

chenle scowls, covering his face with his hands as he resists the urge to claw his own eyes out. he lets out a groan as your face flashes in his mind, oh he is so stupid, why couldn't he just be fearless? why does he have to be such a coward?

why couldn't he be brave for you?

"i— god, i confessed to y/n but i even managed to mess that up and now we're on bad terms.."

kun goes through seven expression changes as he processes the information. "what? what are you saying?"

"he just told me the situation like how it is" he grits his teeth, looking away from the older. "we can't be together no matter how much we want to, i'm getting married and he can't risk losing his job and.. i have to go through with the marriage".

"who says that?"

"my mother, kun" chenle sighs, feeling as if he just got punched in the gut. "i don't want to put too much on her shoulders, a marriage like this has been planned for me for who knows how long and she's clearly not her best considering father didn't pass that long ago and.." a groan leaves his lips, a sour taste in his mouth. "this will make her happy, i just want her to be happy".

kun stares in silence, clicking his tongue. "have you ever tried to prioritize your happiness?"

chenle sighs. "we're not starting this again kun—"

"no, we are going to start this again, you have to think about if you're happy before ever going through with a marriage, marriage is a legally binding thing! you're gonna be in a union with this woman until you die! are you really happy with that?"

chenle opens his mouth to speak again, but it falls shut. he can't really respond to that. 

all of his life he grew to believe that he'd eventually get used to arranged marriages and the idea of having to warm up to his partner. all royalty have to do it, it's just apart of the process. heck, chenle is the result of an arranged marriage himself, why would he ever challenge it when it was always the most likely outcome?

it's different because it's you. chenle can't possibly think about going through this marriage at all now that he's realized how he truly feels for you, it's not right, he shouldn't, he can't.

you're a terrible liar, chenle. at the end of the day, you will go through with this marriage, it's all too risky to not.

"i.. no, i'm not" chenle finally responds, his voice a mix of disgusted and frustrated. "i just— i always thought it was supposed to be this way, i don't want to just.. do it differently".

"well why not?"

"because this is for the good of my future, for yinuo, for my mother, to test if i can live up to the ruler my father was".

chenle bites his inner cheek, suddenly feeling nauseous. he closes his eyes, not wanting to face kun's gaze.

the older simply sighs. "i can't make you do anything you don't want to, chenle, but don't make a decision you know is going to leave you unhappy, i'd hate for you to be stuck in an uncomfortable position for the rest of your life".

and with that, kun turns and walks out of the room. chenle doesn't open his eyes until he knows kun has left the room.

the words ring in his head all day.

WHEN CHENLE WAS ELEVEN, YOU TAUGHT HIM about the several constellations that appear in the night sky. you taught him their names, how they form, what they represented, and your thoughts on them. you always had a thing for those luminous balls of gas in the sky, something about them always left you so intrigued, waiting for the next time they would show up so you could drag chenle out in the middle of the night to see them with you.

tonight, andromeda is in the sky.

it's never been a favorite of yours, more one of chenle's favorites, but he knows you'll be outside, staring at the aligned stars in the sky. he takes kun's words into account, and wishes his mother a good night before turning on his heel to make his way towards a familiar place of comfort.

the rose garden, of course.

the best thing about the rose garden is that it has the cool glass roof you can see the sky through. it was an addition that was only made a few years ago, one last hurrah for mrs. qian before her eventual retirement.

chenle spent a lot of time reading about constellations, all the information he learned he would relay to you. he loved seeing how interested you were in the information you already didn't know, your eyes would widen comically and then they would light up.

constellations have always been special to me, you told chenle once. they remind me of dad, he's the one who taught me about them, i like to think that he's now become apart of cygnus.

chenle was surprised by your way of grieving, but he couldn't exactly blame you. you liked to think your father became one with the stars, and you'd always be especially excited when cygnus appeared in the sky.

when chenle steps into the rose garden, he isn't surprised to see you already there, lips parted in surprise as you stare up at the sky through the glass rooftop. you don't notice him immediately, but when you do, you smile. "hi".

chenle bites down on his bottom lip, but he steps forward anyway. "hi".

you put your head down, then turn to chenle with an unreadable expression on your face. "i missed you".

chenle allows for himself to lightly chuckle at the fact. "you're the one whose been ignoring me all this time".

your shoulder slump, a small sigh leaving your lips as you rock back and forth on your heels. "i do realize that was pretty.. rude of me, i just needed time to think, i was probably going to have a breakdown if i didn't collect my thoughts".

chenle nods, pressing his lips together in a thin line. an uncomfortable silence passes through the air in the room, and you glance up again to examine andromeda once again.

"i'm sorry".

you snap your head over at chenle. "for what?"

"for yelling, and for calling you stupid" chenle looks away from you, ashamed of himself. "you were just being realistic and i was.. i wasn't thinking clearly, like an idiot".

"don't say that" your voice is so soft, it probably feels like clouds. "i get where you're coming from, just saying those words made me sick.." you pinch the bridge of her nose, and chenle can't stop his head from turning so that he can stare at you. oh your side profile is so pretty, chenle could admire it for hours. "i'm sorry, chenle, you probably felt like your feelings didn't matter in the moment and that was so terrible of me to do, romantic feelings or not, you're my friend, and i care about how you feel, i shouldn't have dismissed you like that".

chenle can't resist the urge to smile, his lips turn up much too quickly, but of course they do, because it's you, it's always with you. chenle has never felt such a way for another human being in his life, but he guesses your whole relationship must've been planned by the universe or something.

"you're so.. stupid" chenle reiterates, but it's said much more affectionately than the last time. "you have always considered my feelings, you are literally one of the sweetest people i know, don't apologize for thinking about yourself for once, your job is much more important than our.. relationship thing".

you pause at the words, shaking your head as a small snicker falls from your lips. "i love you, chenle".

oh.

if chenle didn't have any self control, he would've done a trust fall right then and there. he wants to faint onto the floor and never get up. hearing the words from you makes him exceptionally giddy, you make him happy, you make him so happy, oh chenle is so glad to have you in his life.

happy ending or not, at least he finally knows what you feel for him.

"i love you too" he whispers, his voice getting stuck in his throat, the shock doesn't wear off that quickly, unfortunately. you reach over for his hands, intertwining your fingers with his. it feels so right, chenle could just be like this forever, and everything would be fine.

as long as he's with you, everything will be fine.

you hum at the response, a red color dusting your cheeks. you could just barely stifle your giggle, and it's simply amazing to chenle. you're just as giddy about him as he is about you.

oh chenle loves you so much.

you look up at the sky once again, eyes lighting up at the sight of the aligned stars. "andromeda has always been your favorite, right?"

chenle wants to faint, you remembered. "yeah".

you smile, your smile is beautiful.

you're a desperate man, zhong chenle.

he can't exactly disagree with that.

"you have good taste".

"you flatter me too much".

you finally looks back down, snickering as you squeeze chenle's hands. you lean forward and press a kiss to chenle's lips, it's simply a peck, but chenle loves it. "you deserve it".

chenle wants to squeal like a teenage girl with a crush, you're so cute, you're so adorable, he loves you, he loves you so much.

maybe you can't make it work now, not in this universe at least, but there could be another universe, another timeline where it does work, where it doesn't have to end like this.

chenle is upset it can't be this universe, but this is just how life works. knowing that he can't change his fate, knowing that he will go through with this marriage, knowing that he probably has no true shot with you is all upsetting, but he'll learn how to deal with it, at least you're still by his side.

at least your still in his life, he's grateful for that.

and when he sees you giggle once again, his heart warms. as long as you're happy, that's all that matters.