#CHANYEOL FANFICTION

[mybiasisexo]

Entangled - Part 12

Pairing: Chanyeol x f.Reader Chapter Warning: Language Word Count: 8.5k Author’s Note: ...Hello 🙂 How has everyone been 🙂? Please dont look how long its been since I updated okay???? Lets focus on the fact that its chapter 12!!! Im so shook that its still going tbh but can i get a little commotion for still writing this? we really outchea!!! This story turned 3 years old a couple days ago lol I def should've been finished it already but hey, thats life! I want to thank everyone still invested and hope you love this new chapter! We have 2 chapters left!!!! Chapter 13 and an epilogue 🥲 so so bittersweet. but you guys have at least another year before its done lmaoo yall: thats not funny 😡 While rereading this story i realized something and I just want to mention, to anyone reading this fanfic, this is NOT a sign to get back with your ex!!!! ONLY if hes an exo member than you can consider it until then this is a work of FICTION!!! Pls pls dont be like Mel irl i beg 😫 Also is there anyone reading this named Melody? I thought about that too. Like you see thats the big nickname reveal and am like 'ok? thats just my name 🧍🏾‍♀️' lmfaoooo thats a funny thought! As always, thank you everyone! Replies, reblogs, and asks are greatly appreciated here! You know I LOOOOOVE yalls commentary, youre all so funny and it makes me so giddy when you tell me how the story made you feel 💕 Adore you all and hope you get to see bbh and kai this summer 😘

Being back in Seoul after everything that happened is different.

You’re different.

Yet, life doesn’t wait for you to adjust back into the routine you had before Jeju. You try your best to fall back into the life you had spent years perfectly curating, but find it frustratingly difficult to do so.

The hardest adjustment is Yerim’s new found absence. She’s become such a common fixture in your life, practically living with you, that not seeing her at all is a huge blow. You miss her laugh, her rants about her job and school, her bickering. She’s as much your little sister as she is Seulgi’s and it hurts not having access to her the way you once had. But you understand, so have been giving her the space she needs. That doesn’t stop you from constantly pestering Seulgi about her. Her response is always the same–Yerim needs more time. You have a feeling she’s keeping her distance because she doesn’t want to see Chanyeol, and you’ve told Suelgi to send the message that he is not in the picture, but whether she received the news or not, Yerim has yet to contact you in any way. 

Months pass by in a boring yet restless blur. The only day that really stands out is your birthday, but even with the little party Seulgi throws for you, and the facetime call you have with Sehun, it doesn’t hold any true significance. You distract yourself by keeping busy, throwing yourself into your work and Jongdae’s upcoming baby shower, which you volunteered to help decorate. Eunhee laughs every time you send her new ideas, claiming you’re more excited than she is. You chalk it up to this being your job so you take it very seriously, but the truth is that you are beyond excited for that day to come, because you’re eager to see a certain face again.

The truth is that, despite your attempt to keep him out of your thoughts and just focus on yourself and the life you have built, Chanyeol has never left your mind. You find yourself wanting to call him, wanting to update him on everything that he missed. He’s the first person you want to rant to whenever you’re having a rough day, yearning for his touch when you fall asleep. You want to hear his laugh and see that special soft smile that fills you with love whenever it graces your presence. You can’t seem to get over him this time, can’t shove his presence back into the depths of your heart that way you have been doing for so long. He tore that door down, making sure that he’ll never be forgotten no matter how desperately you try. It’s enough to have you coming to terms with what you want out of your relationship. 

You just hope when that day comes, that he feels the same way.

You gave in once.

Two months after the wedding, you get a memory from six years ago on your phone. You know it’s probably not the healthiest, but you refuse to get rid of any pictures or videos of the two of you. The memory is a video. You’re walking into a familiar dining room where Chanyeol sits alone, a paper birthday hat on his head. When he notices you, his face brightens, and he falls back in his chair in an invitation. You ask if he had a good birthday as you climb into his lap and he says it was perfect. You turn the camera so that it's now facing the both of you. Chanyeol kisses your temple, your cheekbone, then your cheek, and mumbles, ‘thank you, baby’. He then turns his head so that your cheeks are pressed together as you both look at the screen reflecting your image back at you, ‘I love you,’ you answered simply, as if that was enough. And it was. He holds you closer, nuzzling into you and the video ends. 

It reminds you that it’s Chanyeol’s birthday, but you can’t bring yourself to wish him a happy birthday. Firstly, you don’t have his phone number, and secondly, you’re no contact right now and aren’t technically supposed to speak to each other.

Still, not saying anything eats at you for a couple days and you hatch up a risky plan.

You know the odds are slim, but something in your spirit encourages you to try.

And that’s how you find yourself holding your breath as the other line of your phone rings.

“Oh?” You hear once the call is answered. “What a pleasant surprise.”

“Hello, Baekhyun,” you greet in return, rolling your eyes at his sarcasm. 

“Darling.” You can hear the smirk curling his lips and know that he’s teasing you.

“What are you up to?” You ask, trying to sound nonchalant.

“About to get lunch. I’d invite you, but it’s kind of a date.”

“Oh?” You ask, surprised he even answered if he’s entertaining someone.

Before you can question him, you hear exactly what you were hoping for.

“A date? I’ll humor you because I know how desperate you–”

Chanyeol.

He’s there with him, right on the other side of the line.

“Anyways!” Baekhyun interrupts, loudly drowning Chanyeol out. “What are you doing, Sweetie?”

“Darling? Sweetie?” Chanyeol questions. “Sounds like you’re speaking to your actual date. Maybe you should invite them out instead.”

“Nonsense. It’s your birthday lunch. But….” Baekhyun pauses for dramatic effect. “Maybe I should. It might make you jealous though.”

“Jealous of you annoying somebody else? Not very likely.”

“I’m not annoying, am I?” Baekhyun then drops the bomb by saying your name.

That seems to shut Chanyeol up.

“She says I’m not,” Baekhyun tells Chanyeol, despite you never answering his question. “What? Nothing to say now?”

Baekhyun chuckles smugly, but then he’s yelling at you.

“Yah!” He says your name again. “You haven’t asked me anything about my date! Aren’t you curious?”

“I shouldn’t intrude,” you finally speak.

“Please. Let me introduce you.”

“No, really, it’s okay!”

It’s too late. You hear the shuffling of the phone being moved around followed by silence.

Finally, Chanyeol clears his throat and says your name questioningly.

The relief you feel at hearing his voice is so intense it brings tears to your eyes.

“Hi, Chanyeol.”

He gasps at the sound of his name leaving your lips, and when he speaks, it sounds as though he has yet to catch his breath. “Hi.”

“Oh, brother,” Baekhyun says.

“Shut up.” There’s some scuffling, and then Baekhyun yelping in pain.

“Is everything okay over there?” You ask.

“Yeah,” Chanyeol says. “How have you been?”

You’re giddy, like you’re talking to your school crush for the first time. Which, in a way, you are.

“I’ve been….” You contemplate telling the truth before settling on, “adjusting.”

“Same here.”

“Well, since I have you,” you say lightly, pretending this wasn’t the whole reason you called. “Happy birthday.”

“Thank you,” he says vehemently. “I think this may be my favorite gift.”

You can’t fight back the smile threatening to split your lips. “It’s not much.”

“It means more than you know.”

“If that’s the case, then I’m glad. Enjoy your date.”

“My date?” It takes him a moment to realize what you’re alluding to. Once he remembers, he snorts. “oh, that. Between you and me, I don’t think there will be a second one.”

“Aaaaand you’re done,” Baekhyun says.

“No, wait!”

Despite Chanyeol’s height, Baekhyun has no trouble snatching the phone back.

“This is what I get for being nice,” he mutters into the receiver.

“Aw, Baekhyun, I’m sure he appreciates the effort you’re putting in to make sure he has a good time.”

“For that, I’ll let you have a little treat.” He lowers his voice conspiring. “He hasn’t shut up about you since coming back.”

“Bro!” You hear a mortified Chanyeol in the background.

“Looks like we’re at our destination. It was great talking to you.”

“Likewise.” In a grateful tone you add. “Thank you.”

All the humor leaves Baekhyun’s voice as he responds. “Anything for you. I’m glad you called.”

The call ends and life goes on.

December comes and goes, only bringing the cold in its wake. Next thing you know it’s January.

You bring in the new year with a resolution to be more open to new experiences and to take more chances.

“I see you!” You say, excitement evident in your voice.

“You sure?”

“Can’t miss that big ol’ head of yours.”

“Um, have you seen yours? Okay, wait, I see you now.”

You hang up and run over to Sehun, who’s pace doesn’t change as he saunters towards you. Despite how aloof he appears, he drops everything he’s holding to catch you once you jump into his arms, his hold tight.

“You’re here! You’re here!” You cheer, jumping once you’re back on your feet. Sehun can’t help but laugh at your silly antics.

Movement catches your attention and you peek behind Sehun’s broad frame to see a handsome man slightly taller than you with big round warm eyes and thick eyebrows currently furrowed in confusion as he watches Sehun interact with you.

“You must be Do Kyungsoo.”

He locks eyes with you and a slight nervous smile pulls at his full lips as he dips his head in greeting. Unsatisfied, you break away from Sehun and yank the stranger into a hug, missing the way he glances at Sehun in a silent plea for help.

“I told you,” Sehun sighs disapprovingly as you pull away.

“It’s an honor.” You ignore Sehun’s quip. “I hope Sehun already told you that your payment for staying with me is dinner of the gourmet kind.”

“I didn’t think he was serious about that,” he answers, laughing awkwardly as he readjusts the thick frames on the bridge of his nose.

“I don’t joke about food.” 

Kyungsoo lifts an eyebrow and blinks owlishly at you.

You decide you like him.

With a dazzling smile, you grab Sehun’s hand. “Let’s go!”

You lead the two men out of the airport, helping them put their luggage in the trunk before peeling out into the city.

“God, it’s been forever since I’ve been in Seoul,” Sehun says as he takes in the frosty scenery flying past.

“What about you, Kyungsoo?” You ask, searching out his gaze through the rearview mirror.

“I went to school here,” he informs.

“That’s how I met him, remember?” Sehun says.

“Oh yeah. I forgot. You were in the culinary program at our college.”

“Graduated early because he’s a genius,” Sehun praises. You don’t miss the way Kyungsoo’s face grows pink, but he remains silently looking out the window.

It’s weird in a way, meeting a close friend of Sehun’s that you yourself aren’t close to. It’s a grim reminder of your growing distance and the passage of time. You know you don’t really have a right to feel the slight tinge of jealousy from hearing Sehun compliment his friend. You have Seulgi, and Sehun has never made a big deal about your friendship. You think it has more to do with the fact that you’re not as close anymore. It leaves your heart slightly aching. 

Sehun and Kyungsoo tell you about the flight as you bring them to your apartment where they will be staying for the weekend. Seulgi and you had to get creative, because you don’t have any spare rooms. It was decided the boys would take the rooms and you would share the sofa bed in the living room.

Seulgi’s home when you arrive, doing some last minute cleaning.

“You look pretty,” you point out when you spot her finishing wiping down a counter in your kitchen. She gives you a guilty lip glossed grin before her attention is given to your guests.

“Sehun!” She embraces her long time friend and then sets her attention to the newcomer. She points at him. “The chef?”

“That’s me,” Kyungsoo says, lifting a hand with a crooked grin that makes his already handsome face even more attractive, if that’s even possible.

Seulgi’s smile is wide as she shakes his hand. “It’s nice to finally meet you. Sehun’s said so much.”

“All good things I hope.” 

“Sehun never says anything good about anyone,” Seulgi  points out.

“It’s a talent,” Sehun brags.

“Seulgi….” Kyungsoo says her name as their hands separate, testing it out as he racks his brain. “I believe Sehun has said something good about you before. That you make phenomenal art?”

She lights up at that. “He has?! Sehun!”

He sighs and throws an arm around your shoulders. Shrugging, he says, “I’m not a complete monster.”

“Should I show you your room?” You ask him. You take in the other two, noticing the way they seem to be watching each other. “Seulgi, why don’t you show Kyungsoo where he’ll be sleeping for the next couple days?”

“Oh, right!” She jumps at the sound of her name. Remembering herself, she leads the way, mouthing an ‘oh my god’ as she passes by. You giggle. Seulgi has been interested in Sehun’s chef friend since the first time she saw a picture of him on Sehun’s instagram. Kyungsoo isn’t aware, but this moment has been years in the making.

Now alone, you turn in Sehun’s grasp, wrapping an arm around his slender waist. “I knew this was going to happen. What are you going to do when they fall in love and he doesn’t want to go back to Busan?”

“Put Seulgi in the luggage. You’ll be moving in with Chanyeol soon anyways.”

“It hasn’t even been an hour yet and you’re already bringing him up?” You pull away and move you guys to your bedroom.

“Come on,” he sings as he plops onto your mattress like he owns the place. He puts his arms behind his head as he rests against the headboard and it hits you that he’s actually here. It takes everything not to start crying and running around the room in excitement. “Tomorrow is D-day, excuse me for being excited for you.”

Jongdae’s baby shower is tomorrow, and of course, Sehun is fully aware of the promise you made with Chanyeol in the gazebo. That day feels like it was both years ago and yesterday.

Sehun nudges your knee with his foot. “Stop playing it cool. I know you're excited too. You got that crazy look in your eyes.”

“What crazy look?” You ask as you sit at the edge of the bed beside his calves.

“Exactly what I said. You look like you’re up to no good.”

You huff a breath. “I’m just nervous.”

“Why?”

“What if he decides he doesn’t want to get back together?”

“He won’t.”

“But what if he does?”

Sehun purses his lips, contemplating. “Then you respect his decision, put on a brave face, and then cry in my arms when the party’s over. Okay?”

You nod dejectedly.

“I take it you’ve decided you want a second chance?”

“Yeah,” you admit. “I forgive him. I….” You look at your best friend. “I love him, Sehun. I really do. I want to be with him.”

Sehun’s expression turns soft and he drags you over his frame, hugging you. “Aigoo, my baby is all grown up.”

You let out a watery laugh and allow yourself to bask in your emotions. You’ve used this time exactly how you were supposed to. You have been able to process your feelings and separate your past self from your present self, and the present you is just as in love with Chanyeol as you were back then.

That is what makes you so nervous. You’ve changed so much. What if you give it another shot, but you don’t fit the same way you once had? What if he can’t bring himself to love this new version of you?

You shove away your doubts. Now isn’t the time to wallow on hypotheticals. Your best friend is here, in your arms, and tomorrow you’re going to bask in another friend’s joy. You’ll worry about that other stuff if they become a reality.

Since you voluntarily took charge of planning this baby shower, you have to head out early to the venue to set up. Sehun decides to join you, leaving the other two to get ready together. The chemistry between them is obvious and you wonder how the weekend is going to go for them.

The baby shower is being held in a party room that has large doors that lead to a botanical garden. Being that it’s mid January, the vegetation is frozen over and unbroken snow covers the ground. It still holds a whimsical charm and anyone that dares to venture out will find beautiful ice sculptures. The inside is a small room, which is perfect for an intimate celebration.

You are the first to arrive, along with some of your crew. Not even the parents-to-be are present, which is exactly how you planned it because you want to surprise them. This is your baby gift. You want to bring the warmer vibes of the gardens, so you have pink, purple, and blue plants and flowers overflowing vases in every corner. Sage green clothes cover the tables. 

Sehun refuses to lift a finger to help, which is annoying but unsurprising. You bring in a large wicker chair and put it at the head of the room. It will serve as Eunhee’s throne. Since she’s so far along, you don’t want her moving too much if she can help it and the chair is very comfortable, if Sehun sitting in it practically the whole time without complaint is any indicator.

“Oh my god!” You hear nearly two hours later. Turning, you see Jongdae and Eunhee enter. The two take everything in, Eunhee with watery eyes. She’s the one who spoke. “It’s beautiful!”

“Absolutely perfect,” Jongdae agrees, shaking his head in awe as he scans the place. You give Eunhee a big hug. She’s someone who came into the picture post college, yet fit right in. There is no one else you’d rather have carry your friend’s child.

“I'm glad you like it,” you say as you lead her to her throne. She notices Sehun and beams, singing his name as he stands to embrace her.

“‘Like’ doesn’t do it justice. You killed it,” Jongdae praises as he hugs you. When you pull away, he finally spots Sehun. “And did you help, Sehun?”

“Of course,” Sehun scoffs. “This was all my idea.”

“The only ‘helping’ Sehun supplied was keeping Eunhee’s chair warm.” You roll your eyes as the boys dap each other up. “Which, by the way, you’re expected to be in most of the day. I don’t want you lifting a finger for nothing!”

“Not even to eat?” She asks, rubbing her swollen belly.

“Nope. That’s what Jongdae’s for.”

Jongdae–and Sehun, finally–help with the last finishing touches as you monitor everything and lead everyone where they need to go. 

It’s around two when people start showing up. Eunhee’s parents are the first to arrive. You’re already exhausted, sitting in a chair with your bare feet propped up on another, gobbling down some baby shower meatballs. Eunhee’s mother finds you and immediately asks what she can do to help, and you’re beyond thankful to give someone else the reins, even though everything is pretty much set up.

Jongdae’s cousin, Kim Minseok, is the next to arrive. He comes in carrying the cake that holds the baby’s gender inside, and is the sole person that already knows. You’ve met the older gentleman a few times before and he gives major big brother vibes. He’s the strong and silent type, never saying much, but when he does it’s either something incredibly profound, or something so extremely out of pocket you have to side eye Jongdae.

When Minseok comes in, he kisses your cheek in greeting and smiles so widely you’re left blushing and stuttering when he asks where you want him to put the cake. 

It’s a moment still until familiar guests start to show up. The party officially starting means you’re now allowed to enjoy it as merely a guest, even though that doesn’t stop you from checking things from time to time to make sure everything’s running smoothly. All the positive words about the venue don’t go amiss and you smile proudly at succeeding in making a beautiful shower for your friends.

Sehun, who left your side the moment Jongdae walked in, remembers you’re there and nudges you. “Let’s take some pictures before the line gets long.”

He leaves little room for you to argue, dragging you over to a balloon arch you both spent way too much time finding the right spot for. There’s a professional photographer there who gets some good shots of the two of you. When Sehun is satisfied with the amount of pictures taken, you leave the arch and your eyes carry over to the wicker chair Eunhee still sits upon. Her head is lifted nearly straight up to meet the eye of the tall man conversing with her. The height is very familiar and your heart skips a beat as you realize that Chanyeol has finally arrived.

Swiftly, you turn to the opposite side of the room, and you’re glad you do because you find Junmyeon and Nayeon awkwardly standing there.

“Myeon!” You gasp and race over to your friend. Sehun sucks his teeth, but follows after you, knowing what you’re doing but just as eager to see Junmyeon.

Junmyeon says your name in the same tone and holds his arms out wide for you to fall into. Unsurprisingly, this is the first time you’re seeing him since the wedding. He holds you tightly and you think that he gives Jongin a run for his money with how comforting he feels.

“What’s all this I hear about you having drama at my wedding?” He asks into your ear.

You wince as you pull back. “I have no idea what you’re talking about. I was on my best behavior.”

“Ah.” he nods in understanding. “So, it was all Chanyeol then?”

“Isn’t it always?” You ask innocently.

Junmyeon chuckles and shakes his head. “I fear I missed out on a lot that weekend.”

“You had bigger things to worry about,” you assure, patting his shoulder because you can tell that he feels bad for not being there with everyone. Junmyeon is the father figure of the group and takes his role very seriously. Sometimes you forget he’s only a couple years older than you because he treats you more like a daughter than a friend at times. “Like marrying this lovely lady.”

You turn to Nayeon, reaching out to embrace her. Her smile is bright as she falls into your hug. You aren’t sure if it’s seeing her walk down the aisle or the solidification of her role in your life, but the hug feels like a new chapter in your relationship. 

“It’s good to see you,” she says, and it sounds sincere.

Separating, your smile matches hers. “You too. How was the honeymoon?”

Her smile turns shy. “Too short.”

“Oh, I bet! I didn’t get the chance to tell you, but you were absolutely stunning on your wedding day.”

“Thank you.” She grabs your hand, giving it a squeeze.

Junmyeon calls your name, gaining your attention. He takes in your interaction with unabashed pleasure. It has been no secret that you’ve had a hard time cracking his wife’s shell. “Sehun tells me you set this place up?”

“And did.”

“You should do mine next.”

You blink. “Will it be soon?”

Turning to Nayeon, you raise a questioning brow. She’s quick to shake her head. 

“No,” Junmyeon verbally answers. “But you know how the saying goes. First comes love, then comes marriage….”

“Then comes a very expensive baby shower, because I don’t work for free.”

“You told me this was a gift.” You glare at Seulgi, who joins your growing circle with Kyungsoo in tow.

“Yeah, but Jongdae isn’t a millionaire.”

Junmyeon frowns. “I’m not one either.”

“But, you will be. So, I will be overcharging.” You shrug.

“Everyone,” Sehun, who is bent at a weird angle so that he can rest his head on Junmyeon’s shoulder. Myeon has an arm thrown over Sehun’s neck, holding him close. Sehun is Junmyeon’s overgrown baby and it’s painfully obvious whenever they’re together. Sehun gestures next to him. “This is my good friend and business partner, Do Kyungsoo.”

It’s so strange how easily Kyungsoo seems to fit in with your group. He gives that half grin that you’re starting to find endearing and bows his head slightly in greeting. His cheeks grow pink at the attention Sehun throws onto him.

You lock eyes with Seulgi and ask her a telepathic question.

Her smile is soft. “I’m behaving.”

“Why?” You nudge her shoulder and she returns the gesture.

“So, this is where everyone’s hiding!” You hear Baekhyun’s unmistakable voice and then he’s popping up between Sehun and Kyungsoo.

You turn to give your attention to your loud friend, but end up locking eyes with someone else.

Chanyeol is standing directly across from you in the circle your friend’s have created. For a moment, you’re back in Jeju, at the table seeing him for the first time in years.

You have been anticipating this moment for weeks. You’ve pictured it numerous times, played out different scenarios on how you would respond to him. The skip of your heart, the small gasp that leaves you, the duling of your senses are all expected. What is surprising to you is a relief and longing so strong it nearly carries you across the space separating you both.

And he’s staring back at you with this content look in his eyes. None of the relief or longing currently rushing through your veins are reflected back at you, and your heart sinks as nerves take over.

Chanyeol appears…calm. Friendly. It’s as if Jeju never happened, as if he hadn’t desperately begged you to take him back. 

As if he moved on.

You drop your graze, ears burning in embarrassment for being so excited. You can already taste rejection on your tongue, and mentally curse yourself for believing for one moment that Chanyeol meant it when he said he would always want you.

You can’t resist taking a second peek to take in his form, seeing how he must have spent these last few months in the gym. His arms and shoulders are noticeably bigger, the cozy sweater he wears stretches over the new muscle tantalizingly. He must have dyed his hair black at some point and it washed out to a darker brown closer to his natural shade, instead of the sun bleached brown he was rocking in Jeju.

A shoulder bumps you and you lift your head to see Jongin with a teasing grin on his face. It drops the moment he sees your expression, and he says your name, concerned, drawing the attention of some others.

“I’m sorry. I have to do something,” you say, quickly leaving to collect yourself before anyone can question you. 

You don’t get far before Minseok stops you. He rests his hands on your shoulders, holding you far enough to intently study your face.

“Sir?” You say, wondering what he’s doing.

He tilts his head. “Only tears of joy today.”

You purse your lips. How does he know?

He pats your head. “Eunhee’s mom wants us to prepare the games. Come on.”

You sigh but follow Minseok to set up the games. A few of your friends partake in them. You forgot just how damn competitive Chanyeol is. He wins all four. One requires teams and you’ve never been more embarrassed by your friends in your life.

When the games are done, Eunhee starts opening gifts. You take this time to sit in a little corner alone, taking the party in and giving yourself a moment to congratulate yourself on a successful party. It’s beautiful and everything is moving smoothly. After the presents, the couple will cut the cake to reveal the gender, and then the party will wrap up. You wonder where your talk with Chanyeol will fit in. You don’t want to ruin this day for yourself, so maybe once it’s over will be best? The suspense is killing you though, you’re not really sure if you can last much longer. You’ve caught Chanyeol’s eye a few times since leaving the circle, and each time he’s given you a small smile or nod before going back to whatever he was doing. Nothing long enough to gain any more insight on his state of mind. Maybe he’s nervous? Maybe he’s healed? Maybe he’s dreading having to let you down easy?

Your brief moment of solitude is disturbed when Baekhyun slides into the seat beside you. 

“There you are,” he says, relief evident in his voice. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you.”

You sink into your chair, crossing your arms over your chest. “I haven’t been hiding, Baekhyun.”

He frowns at your tone. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” you answer too quickly, too sharply. You exhale and start again. “I’m just nervous, I guess.”

“About the party?” he pushes, and you know he knows why, he’s just being careful on how to bring it up. “Or… something else?”

You lift an eyebrow at him. “You know the answer to that.”

Baekhyun scoots closer to you. “You have no reason to be nervous. Chanyeol’s going to meet you where you stand, wherever that is.”

“Are you sure?” You ask. You catch the man of the hour hand Jongdae a present. The father-to-be narrows his eyes suspiciously at him. It’s a very cute interaction and it makes your heart flutter despite everything.

Baekhyun tilts his head in confusion, resembling a puppy. “Yeah? Do you not remember anything that happened in Jeju? it was never Chanyeol’s feelings that were ever in question. Just yours.”

A smug grin stretches his lips. “But you figured yours out, didn’t you? I remember when you just so happened to call me around Chanyeol’s birthday. Y’know that was quite the little coincidence.” His smile grows, showing his perfect teeth. “You wanted to talk to him.”

“Stop.”

He pokes your side. “Admit it! You want to get back with Chanyeol and you’re nervous because you believe there might be a chance he actually rejects you.”

“Ew. It sounds so…cringey when you say it out loud.”

“Is that you admitting that you’re still in love with him?”

You roll your eyes. “Yes, okay? I am! I…I still love Chanyeol, and I’m ready to give us another try. Happy?”

He pulls you into a tight hug, swaying you from side to side. “Beyond! I’ve been waiting for this moment for years! I’m so happy for you!”

“We’re not back together yet, Baekhyun.”

“Yet,” he points out, and that for some reason, calms your nerves, and you relax against him.

A deep voice clearing catches your attention, causing you to grow rigid in Baekhyun’s hold. Slowly, you separate from Baekhyun and lift your head to see Chanyeol hovering over you both.

He gives Baekhyun a stern look, and the shorter man snorts before lifting his hands in surrender.

Chanyeol faces you, but he can’t quite meet your eye as he asks, “have you seen the ice sculptures yet?”

This is the moment. Chanyeol is inviting you to have your talk. 

You shake your head. “I actually haven’t. Do… you want to see them?”

“Only if you want to.”

You nod enthusiastically and hear Baekhyun giggle but ignore it. “Okay. Yeah. Just, uh, let me get my coat.”

You don’t know if it’s guidance or reassurance you seek that has you turning to Baekhyun nervously. He supplies both by tilting his head in Chanyeol’s direction encouragingly. Stiffly, you get to your feet  and lead the way to the coat stand. Chanyeol takes your coat from you, holding it out to help you put your sleeves in.

“Thank you,” you whisper as he shrugs on his own.

He gives you a derpy grin. “My pleasure.”

All bundled up, you head out to the gardens. Only a few footprints stamp out the snow, showing how little people have dared to step outside. You don’t blame the others, it’s freezing. Your face goes numb almost instantly, but it’s still a sight to see. All the bushes have frozen over, and arches that appear as ice  line the trail. The setting sun and multicolored fairy lights scattered around add a sense of whimsy, making it feel like you’ve stepped into a parallel universe where fairies live.

“Boy or girl?” Chanyeol randomly asks as you both casually walk the path.

“Huh?”

“The baby,” he clarifies. “Do you think it’s going to be a boy or a girl?”

“A girl,” you decide. “Jongdae is such a girl dad.”

“You’re right. He totally is.”

“Good job back there,” you say, nudging your thumb over your shoulder where the party continues without you. “I’m sure all of Eunhee’s family are terrified of you.”

He chuckles at that and it’s music to your ears. “I do tend to get carried away.”

“I’ve never seen someone so serious about changing a diaper.”

“And I did it in ten seconds! That’s pretty impressive, you gotta admit.”

You give a noncommittal hum. “Fatherhood will be easy for you then.”

“You think?” He asks, eyes absolutely sparkling at the idea. 

“I do.”

“Oh, well… I think you’d make an amazing mother.”

“Really?” You ask, surprised. You’ve never really given motherhood much thought. It’s something so out of reach that you never entertain it. You did once, back when you wore your engagement ring. Chanyeol and you had discussed parenthood a few times. At the time, you’d both agreed you were way too young to think about starting a family, but now you’re in your late twenties, so you guess it’s something you should consider more.

“You’re a caretaker,” he continues. “Take today for example, I bet you were just supposed to decorate, right?”

“Yeah,” you admit quietly.

“Yet you ended up putting the whole thing together. You take care of the people you care about. You always have.”

“I never thought of it like that,” you admit.

He shrugs. “I’m just stating a fact.”

You come across your first sculpture. It’s an impressive six-foot ice dragon. You both stop to take it in.

“It’s impressive,” you remark.

Chanyeol nods. “I bet it took hours to sculpt.”

“Kinda sad it’s going to melt. Feels almost like a waste.”

“That’s the tragedy of art, but there’s beauty even in that.”

You’re quiet for a bit.

“I started going to a new cafe,” is what comes out of his mouth next. His attention never leaves the dragon, not even when your head snaps over to him in shock.

You know what he’s trying to say, that he no longer sees Yerim. His admission knocks the wind out of you, but you’re able to collect  yourself. “I’m sure the old one misses you.”

“Nah,” he’s quick to dismiss. “Though I hear I leave quite the impression.”

You click your tongue at that, which garners a small laugh from him, seeing humor in your reaction. Needing to change the subject, you give him a once over, taking in his reddening cheeks, the paleness of his skin contrasting beautifully with the darkness of his eyes. He’d thrown on a beanie to keep his ears warm, and despite them being covered, he still resembles a freakishly giant elf. Speaking of giant, his new mass overwhelms you. You can definitely notice the difference in his size compared to a few months ago.

“You’ve been working out,” you say.

He glances down at you, looking rather pleased. “You noticed?”

“How could I not? You’re towering over me.”

The tip of his tongue catches between his teeth. He likes that phrase, and you’re reminded that he has a size kink. You’re not that much shorter than him (this may be denial speaking) but being even an inch smaller is enough to get him going.

“It’s a newly acquired hobby I picked up after returning from Jeju,” he explains.

“I see….” And you do. It was something to fill the time, something to distract himself from the fact that you were once again not in his life, and wouldn’t be for a while.

The two of you leave the dragon and continue to the next sculpture. Chanyeol senses your understanding and presses, “so, have you gotten any ‘hobbies’ since I last saw you?”

You lift your arms out like a shrug and gesture around you. “This.”

He takes in the winter wonderland. “Then you spent it wisely.”

“It kept me busy for sure, but I’ll admit it wasn’t enough to distract me completely.”

Chanyeol nods in understanding. “It’s been difficult… going back to how things were before.”

A sharp laugh leaves your throat before you can stop it. His words feel like an understatement.

The next sculpture is an eight foot replica of the Eiffel Tower.

“I was foolish enough to believe that I could continue living the way I had been before the trip,” you admit, taking in all the little details of the ice. “But I outgrew that life the moment I landed on that stupid island.”

You can feel Chanyeol studying you, as if you are the one carved from ice. You wonder if he sees the tragedy of your design, that you’ve been melting, and if he still finds it as beautiful.

“Jeju changed us,” Chanyeol agrees. “How has it changed you?”

You meet his gaze, yours steady and unwavering. “It made me realize where I wanted you in my life.”

Chanyeol takes you in, gulps, and turns abruptly. You gape at his retreating back for a moment before jogging after him. His long legs close the distance to the next sculpture in record time. There are only two left and this one is of a beautiful woman, looking down at her plump belly that she cradles lovingly. You swear you can see Eunhee’s features etched into the clear face.

Chanyeol’s squinting up at the face, most likely noticing the same thing  and contemplating whether it is your friend or not.

“You ran,” you accuse once you’re standing beside him, out of breath.

His features smooth over, becoming expressionless. “You scared me.”

“That’s funny,.” He turns to you questioningly. “That’s how I felt when I saw you earlier.”

His eyebrows furrow. “Why?”

“You looked at me like….” You lick your drying lips. “Like you had moved on.”

“That’s what you saw?” he asks skeptically.

You give your attention back to the Eunhee sculpture. “Did I misread you?”

“Immensely,” he says, voice flat and intense. When you work up the courage to look at him again, you see a fire has built inside him that the cold tried to snuff out, but it burns through, warming you in turn.

“Oh,” is really all you can say under his scrutinizing glare.

“I’m sorry for scaring you earlier,” he says, still intense. “And for running. What were you going to say? Where do you want me now?”

“I….” You take a deep centering breath and tell him the truth. “I want you right where you are now. Beside me.”

A shocked laugh leaves him in a puff of condensation that bellows around you, stinging your cheeks. It feels like a caress, like contact, and it  makes you confident enough to proceed with your confession. “I've missed you so much, Chanyeol. Not just since coming back from jeju, but since calling off the wedding all those years ago. I’ve carried that suffering with me everyday, pretending I was fine, that I had moved on. But, after returning from the island, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t avoid it anymore. It was too heavy a weight. All I’ve wanted since is to see your face, to hear your voice, to…to be with you. Not the college boy that I fell in love with, but the man that you’ve become. I want to rediscover you, I want to learn your new habits and meet your new friends. I want to be a part of your life again…. I want to be with you, Park Chanyeol.”

You can feel your throat constricting, and tears start to blur the vision of the man you love taking in every word you say as if they are bible. You inhale sharply, it sounds more like a gasp, as you try to control your emotions. Clearing your throat, you voice your doubt. “That being said, if you’ve decided that you don’t feel the same way, and just want your closure to finally move on, I respect that. This isn’t only about what I want. You have a say in this relationship too. So… where do you want me?”

The wobble in your voice seems to echo off the ice surrounding you in the silence that follows as Chanyeol hesitates to answer. At least it feels like hesitation. Is he debating how to let you down gently? Or is he still trying to process your revelation?

Finally, after what feels like hours, he says, “there’s one more sculpture.”

You follow Chanyeol wordlessly, your heart plummeting from his lack of response. The last sculpture is ironic in a way, depending on how this conversation goes. It’s two swans, their heads pressed together and their necks curving into the shape of a heart. 

Chanyeol is grinning as he takes it in. “I think this one might be my favorite.”

“It does have a certain charm to it,” you say sullenly. 

Chanyeol’s smile stretches, but he doesn’t say anything. You both quietly take in the birds, you wait patiently for Chanyeol to answer your question. 

“The gym isn’t the only thing that has been keeping me busy these past months,” Chanyeol shares. “When I came back, I found new inspiration, and have been writing music nonstop.” He chuckles. “My company has been very happy about that.”

“That’s good to hear.” you say, and you mean it. You know how much music means to the man before you, he bleeds chords and rhythms. Being able to make money doing what he loves is an honor not many people get to have. You’re so very proud of him for being able to have others hear his talent.

“Yeah. I took your advice. I truly thought about what you mean to me. I wrote those feelings down in songs and worked through the pain, the confusion, the hurt, and the hope. When I showed my music to my company, they asked me what had changed, and I told them the truth.” He shifts to face you head on and reaches out to grab your hand. “That I found my muse.”

Your breath gets caught in your throat as he continues. “I guess it’s more like rediscovered my muse, because it’s the same one as always. All of my music is about you. Only you. You ask where I want you in my life? The answer is simple. I want you everywhere. You’ve always been everywhere. You’re the melody of my life.”

You blink back the new flood of tears bombarding your eyes, overwhelmed by his words. 

He is watching you tenderly, and you swear you see his eyes as shiny as yours. The hand not holding yours cups the side of your face and you shiver from the icy bite, but it thaws so quickly you end up leaning into it. “I want to be with you too. It will always be you, Mel.”

The tears finally fall, and Chanyeol is there to catch them, to catch you. You both let out airy laughs, relief and joy bubbling in your throats as the situation dawns on you. 

“We’re really going to do this?” You ask, in shock. “You and me? We’re going to try again?”

“Yes,” Chanyeol confirms, resolute. “And we’re going to get it right this time. I’m not letting you go again. I don’t care what excuse you try next time.”

You shake your head. “You won’t have to worry about a next time.”

You pull back slightly and take out your phone, handing it to him. “Can I have your number?”

He grabs the device from you. “Are you asking me out on a date?”

You scowl. “Absolutely not! You’ll have to do the asking, sorry.”

“I think I can manage that,” he says as he types away. He gives the phone back, fingers brushing yours when you retrieve it. 

You stare at one another, only one thing in both of your minds. What did Chanyeol say last time? Seal it with a kiss? Well, that’s what you want to do now, you want to kiss him so bad your body shakes in yearning. Chanyeol gathers as much, his head slowly lowering to grant your wish, and you wonder briefly if you’re making that face again. His nose brushes against yours and you tilt your head back to lift your lips higher for him to reach.

Cheering shatters the moment, bringing you both back to the frozen yard of your friends’ baby shower.

You gasp. “The cake!”

You both rush back inside, making it in just in time to see Jongdae and Eunhee at the table, frosting and tears on their faces as they celebrate. You see a piece has been cut out of the cake, revealing the color inside.

It’s pink. 

“You’ve been staring at your phone all day,” Sehun points out. 

You immediately drop the block of technology. Groaning, your head falls into your hands. It’s been nearly forty-eight hours since Jongdae’s baby shower ended, and you have yet to message Chanyeol. You’re overthinking, naturally. Even though Chanyeol made it obvious that he wanted to try again, there is that inkling of doubt that keeps you from initiating conversation. You regret asking for his number. You should have given him yours, put the pressure on him instead. He had the chance to text himself, but you were dismayed when you realized he hadn’t. He was again, putting the ball in your court, going at your speed. Now why would he do that when he knew you? You assume this is a test, and you’re failing miserably. 

“Stop torturing yourself and text him already.”

You shift some fingers enough to glare at your best friend that sits  across from you on your pale wooden table. He blinks at you, the poster child of unbothered.

Sighing, you straighten in your seat. “I’m spending time with you right now. Everything else can come later.”

“Uh-huh. Lucky for you, I’m used to you using me as an excuse.”

You gasp dramatically. “I’ve done no such thing!”

He grins and reaches over to hold your hand. Sehun and Kyungsoo are leaving in a couple hours. You’re waiting for the other pair. Seulgi’s helping Kyungsoo get his stuff together, but they disappeared a while ago.

“I told you it was going to work out,” Sehun murmurs.

You smile sweetly. “I’m not going to say you were right, just so you know.”

He pouts at that. “Either way, I know you believe it. Look, you’re back with Chanyeol. Isn’t that crazy?”

“So crazy.” You shake your head. “I feel like I’m dreaming.”

“Then don’t sabotage yourself again,” he says in that casual way he does. “Text him. Call him. Either way, talk to him. Let him know how much you want this. You have to if you want it to work this time. Communication and all that.”

You swallow thickly, fear coating your throat. “Right. Communication.”

Sehun stands and walks around the table to drag you to your feet. He pulls you into a hug, kissing the crown of your head. “You got this. Next time I see you, you’re going to be hand-in-hand with Chanyeol.”

You return his hug tightly, missing him already. 

“Now,” he starts. “let's check on those two. We have to leave soon.”

He drags you to Seulgi’s door, opening it without knocking and you deeply regret it when you notice the pair in various states of undress, hungrily making out.

“Oh!” You’re not sure who said it. Maybe you, maybe Seulgi. But the new couple scramble to make it look like they weren’t just eating each other’s faces.

Sehun guffaws and you cover your fallen jaw.

“Kyungsoo!” Sehun calls between chortles. “I didn’t know you had it in you, man!”

“Fuck off,” Kyungsoo bites, face the color of a tomato as he looks anywhere but where a human stands.

“We have to leave in ten,” you say slowly, fighting a smile as you watch Seulgi attempt to pack, back facing you.

“We’ll be out there,” Kyungsoo confirms.

“Will you?” Sehun goads. “Or are you just going to finish what you started the minute we walk away?”

“Ten minutes, got it!” Seulgi shoves you both out of her room, slamming the door in your face. 

Sehun and you lock eyes and then burst out laughing.

“I told you!” You said when you catch your breath.

“Now you really have to text Chanyeol,” he says. “You’ll need a new roommate soon.”

An hour later, you’re alone in your room, once again staring at your phone. At the contact that merely says ‘Park Chanyeol’.

You remember the last moment you had with him. When the baby shower was settling and people were starting to leave. All of you were huddled together and Jongdae and Eunhee made you all take some photos, claiming how this was the first time in years that everyone actually was present like this. 

You remember how you all huddled together, how Kyungsoo tried to slink away, but Sehun grabbed his collar, holding him hostage next to Jongin who started chatting his ear off as though he’s known him for years. Minseok was also there, having what appeared to be a very serious conversation with Baekhyun.

You felt a body press against your back, and glanced behind you  to see Chanyeol shyly looking down at you.

“Is this okay?” he asked, voice gentle, fragile.

You nodded, voice caught in your throat. The photographer set her camera up, and someone in the back of the group stumbled, causing a bunch of you to lurch forward. Chanyeol steadied you with a hand on your hip, and kept it there once you were stable again. You made no move to remove it, and your silent approval had him relaxing against you. You held your breath, heart racing as you posed for the photos. The happiness you felt in the moment you were sure was perfectly captured. 

Of course, the others noticed, but surprisingly didn’t mention anything. Only giving you both approving or knowing looks.

You swear you can still feel his body against yours, his large hand holding you close. He wants this, you remind yourself. He never stopped loving you, so stop being a little bitch and text him! Go get your man!!!

Encouraged, you don’t think and send a message. it’s a simple ‘hey, it’s me’, but you might as well have thrown your heart at him.

You stare at the bright screen. Watch as those cursed bubbles start bouncing as Chanyeol types a response to your message. Then go away. Then come back. Then disappear. Then–

Chanyeol: Took you long enough, Mel

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taglist @blue-rainydays, @julciaqwerty, @ohsehunsgurl, @byunparklimchoi, @kawaii--mommy, @notyuji, @hisungovenaocare, @theawesomehero7714, @emikowrites, @carefully325 @livebylivsstuff

[proudahgase-exol]

Loving you is all I know.

Chanyeol x reader ft exo (angst)

Warning: cussing, mentioning of alcohol and cigarettes use.

Summary: you have a on/off relationship with Chanyeol It has been going on for four years now but this time it’s different you can’t take it anymore so you tell him how you really feel

Ps: if you like my work please like and reblog and comment if you like to 💞

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Y/n pov:

It happened again he ended the relationship he claimed that he was too busy to be with me but I wasn’t stupid I knew what he was up to by the many Instagram posts he would publish with another girl at clubs.

It sucked, to be honest, it hurt me so much especially since I’m his group assistant I was in charge of getting the boys from point A to point B I had to make sure they were always in time for everything so I pretty much had to see him every single day.

Now you might be asking why I always take him back and well that’s because I love him I've been in love with him since he debuted and there’s no other man like him i don’t want another man I wish I could stop loving him but loving him is all I know.

A few weeks ago he broke up with me for what feels like the million time it’s sad especially since his members pity me they give me This sad smile or when he is in the room with a new girl the boys try to make sure I’m okay.

Today I saw him again with of his many girls I can’t understand how it’s so easy for him to just throw me out like I’m garbage and even easier to come to look for me when he can’t find a new fuck toy it brakes my heart but I’m so fucking stupid that I keep letting him hurt me.

I was so sick of seeing him like that cline I was nothing like I was never part of his life when I went home I took a long bath with a bottle of wine trying to drink my pain away trying to forget his handsome face.

When I got out of the bath I got changed and walked to the back yard and sat down looking at the sky then I lit a cigarette I was never the girl that drank and smoked but after the third time of the many times Chanyeol broke up with me I try to find a way out a way to forget him and alcohol and cigarettes did the trick and every time we got back together I did stop.

As the days passed the guys started to notice a change in me I thought I had been hiding my alcohol and cigarette problem well but Kyungsoo found out he was gained to question me than the rest of the guys heard all the commotion and also started to question me luckily chanyeol still haven’t gotten here.

“Hey, have you been drinking?” Asked Kyungsoo

“N no,” I said turning away

“Yes you have I can tell and you also stink like cigarettes y/n wtf why would you do that,” he said racing his voice

“I haven’t now cat you stop,” I said turning back to face him

“Hey, what’s going on why are you guys yelling?” Junmyeon asks walking over to us

“She’s been drinking and smoking and don’t try to deny it I know what a hangover looks like and I can also tell what cigarettes smell like,” Kyungsoo said with disappointment

“Is that true? Y/n why would you do that” Minseok walking over to my side

“Don’t worry about me go get your stuff so I can tell you home” I said trying to change the subject

“Hey I know it’s about Chanyeol Hyung but don’t ruin your life like that for him trust me we hate him for what he’s been acting,” Sehun said walking up to me and hugging me

“I will get over this eventually but if this is the way it’s helping me then so let me it’s my life, not yours,” I said pushing Sehun away from me

“Hey what’s up guys what did I miss,” Chanyeol said walking into the dance practice room

“I’ll way for you outside by the car,” I said walking away as I took a brand new pack of cigarettes out of my jacket

As I was walking out the door I saw Chanyeol walking behind me but was stopped by Baekhyun and Jongin

Chanyeol pov:

I watched as y/n walked out of the dance practice room and I also saw her taking out a pack of cigarettes I turned around and asked the guys about y/n

“Hey, how long have a y/n been smoking?” I asked them

“A long time why,” Kyungsoo said

“Why didn’t you guys tell me,” I said getting mad

“You don’t care about her so what’s the point of telling you we didn’t tell her anything because we thought it wasn’t hers since she was not the type of girl to get drunk and smoke,” Baekhyun said

“I do care about her who told you I don’t,” I said getting defensive

“Dude if you did you wouldn’t have brake up multiple times you would respect her and treated her like you love her but you don’t,” Sehun said annoyed

“I know it’s none of our business but why do you keep breaking up if you're gonna end up going back to her?” Junmyeon asked

“I- I don’t know at first it was because I thought she should be with someone better but then I just liked messing around with other girls then realized that I love y/n then I went back to her but now I don’t know anymore,” I said looking at the floor

“Well either you fix your shit or you will only end up losing her for good,” Jongin said walking out of the room

I saw the way the guys walk away not looking back at me I knew they cared for Y/n I know they are siding with her because the truth is I’m the asshole I don’t know what I keep on doing this I truly love her I just got so used to this routine and didn’t saw that not only was I hurting her but also my friends and I need to fix it if I still can.

When I walked out of the building the guys were already in the car so I got in but Y/n was nowhere to be seen nor was Minseok so I asked Jongdae who was next to me and Minseok had taken Y/n out for drinks I don’t know if she drink too.

She used to be this sweet shy girl who wouldn’t drink nor smoke every time I drank she would take care of me and tell me I shouldn’t drink that much now she’s different she’s not the y/n I knew and I know I was the one who made her this way.

When we got home I was pulled to the side by Junmyeon who started to yell at me he was angry so we were there with other guys and all I could think about was if y/n was okay.

“Are you listening to anything I’m saying?” Junmyeon asked

“Sorry what did you say,” I said looking at him

“I ask if it made you feel good walking around with a different girl every week right in front of y/n do you like the way she looks at you or does it satisfy you knowing that the girl cries every day?” He asked looking at me with so much anger

“No, I didn’t know I was hurting her like that I-“ I didn’t know what else to say

“You unbelievable Chanyeol that girl is broken she’s so far gone and I know for a fact that the old y/n will never return” I saw walking past me and pushing me with his shoulder

I was so fucked I knew the boys love her she’s been with us since the beginning they care for her like family and it scares me that I’m the one who messed this up I’m the one that hurt her and I hate myself for that but I’ll try to fix it I’ll try to apologize hopefully I could do it get her back for good

Y/n pov:

After I walked out of the building I lit up my cigarette I was trying to hide my tears but I just couldn’t it hurt so much to see him so happy I felt like I was disposable like I didn’t matter to him that how he’s making me feel

As k wiped my tears I heard someone running up to me and saw that it was Minseok when he got close he took my cigar off me and turned it out then hugged me

“Hey it’s okay to feel sad you can cry don’t hold your feelings back I’m here if you ever need to talk I’m always here you know you can call me if you want a drinking buddy just call me and be like oppa telsngo for a drink and I’ll happily join you,” he said as he hugged me and kissed the top of my head

“But you get busy and tired and I don’t want to bother you,” I said wiping my tears

“It’s okay I don’t mind being tired and if I’m busy I know Sehun will love to drink with you we both know he can’t say no to a few drinks,” he said joking

“Yeah you're right but still you guys get busy and I know you get tired at the end of the day,” I said looking at him

“Don’t worry it’s alright now let’s go I know this place where they make the best good and have good alcohol what do you say? Let’s forget about everything for a while?” I asked me

“Sure let’s go but who’s taking the guys home?” I asked worried

“It’s okay I told someone that you were feeling bad and that I had to take you home so they sent someone to take the guys home now let’s go,” he said pulling me by the arm

When we were At the restaurant, we ordered our food and drink we chatted and then he asked if I wanted to talk about Chanyeol so I did I told him everything from the first time we broke up till now it hard to say it but it feels good to have told some about it than I changed the topic not wanting to talk about Chanyeol anymore so we talk about the boys and Minseok’s new girlfriend.

After a few more drinks and crying over the past Minseok took me home with the help of one of my friends when I woke up the next day my head was hurting so I got up and went to the bathroom I got cleaned up and went to the kitchen for breakfast I took my time eating than my way to get change so I can go to the boys since today they had a group meeting for their new comeback.

When I got to the building the boys were already in the lobby wetting for me and when I got close I saw Chanyeol making his way to me but a guy stopped by Baekhyun Then Junmyeon walked up to me and told me where the meeting was gonna be so we made our way there.

The whole time chanyeol kept looking at me like he wanted to tell me something but I ignored him I looked away and tried not to make eye contact with him.

After the meeting was over the boys went to their dance practice and i went to have another meeting with the managers and stuff. After it was done I went to check on the guys to see if they needed anything they told me they were all good so I walked away and on my way out the door chanyeol ran up to me and asked if we could meet up at his place to talk he said he will be quick so I agreed curiously.

After a long day of work, I went to the guys again to ask them if I was taking them or if they were gonna do something else. They said they were going out for dinner and then for some drinks so to not worry I left and my way to Chanyeol’s place.

When we arrived chanyeol was pulling up as well I waited for him in the lobby of his apartments while he parked the car. After a while he walk in the lobby and told me to follow him as we walk into the elevator we just stood there in an awkward silence until we arrived to his floor that was on the 10th floor.

When we got to the apartment he told me to make myself at home and I just scuffed but walked and took a seat on his couch a few seconds after I sat down Zzar came running from somewhere in another room and ran to Chanyeol but then turned around and run to me she jumped on the couch.

“Oh hey zzar you still remember me your such a good girl,” I said petting her

“Wow seems like she still remembers you but how can she forget the person who walked her every day and gave her delicious treats” Chanyeol said walking out to us

“So let’s cut the bullshit and get straight to the point what do you want to talk about,” I said not wanting to be here anymore

“Oh yeah umm I wanted to apologize for everything I have cussed you for all the pain I have given you I know our relationship was on/off and I also know how much I hurt you by bringing all this girl around,” he said looking down at his shoes

“Chanyeol you broke my heart no move but multiple times an apology won’t fix all the hurt you did to me,” I said getting angry

“I know I’m sorry for all the hurt I'm really sorry I wish I could fix everything I wish I could go back and not have done what I did I wish we were still together,” he said crying

“Answer me with honesty…… why did you do it in the first place? Was I a bad girlfriend? Was I bad at sex did I not satisfy you enough? Was I not pretty enough or smart? Is it my lack of experience what do all of those girls have that I don’t why do they get to go home with you and why do I get to go home and cry myself to sleep thinking I was the perfect girlfriend” I said crying

“Have you been blaming yourself all this time? Did you think every time we broke up was your fault?” He asked whipping his tears that were still falling

“Yes, every single time I thought it was me I still think so…. Is it my fault” I asked in a quiet voice

“Oh god no baby it’s never Ben your fault no once it’s always been mine I've been so greedy I thought of myself and not one of you or your feelings I know it was a dick move on my part at first I thought I would be happier in a new relationship but after a few days I regret it than I come crowing back to you and for some reason, you always took me back so I did it again until it became a habit than I saw Minseok hyung with his girlfriend and I remember you I remember how that used to be us but I had to mess it up,” he said sobbing

“Why did you do it you regret it why didn’t you stop when you felt regret why did you keep doing it” I asked confused

“Because I’m so stupid because I thought you would always take me back after breaking you but then someone told me that at some point you will get tired that you will relies on that you deserve better so I had to stop it”

“Y/n why do you keep taking me back every single time I break your heart I hurt you and yet you still receive me with open arms why,” he asked looking at me

“Because after so long of knowing you of loving you…. You kind of become my everything how loving you is all I know that’s why I always take you back” I said smiling

“Why Cigarettes why alcohol that not you at all why fuck I fucked up so bad,” he said crying harder this time

“Cigarettes and alcohol were my way of forgetting about you for a while it was like my escape from reality it made me feel numb,” I said smiling sadly

“This time I promise you I will be better I will be honest I will be the perfect boyfriend I will treat you like you deserve to be treated,” I said moving closer to me and holding my hand

“Look chanyeol I don’t think I can do this anymore I can’t trust you I can let myself fall for your lies once again I don’t think I can go through this all over again in hurt I’m tired of this cycle

I don’t want to be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t love me like I love them” I said placing his dog on the couch and getting up

“Please I promise I will be better I will be the man you need and deserve please give me a chance I will be better this time I promise,” he said staying up as well

“I think you need to look for help because what you have been doing isn’t right take time off dating and messing around fix yourself,” I said looking up at him.

“If I do all that will you take me back will you give me a chance?” He begged

“I don’t know I need time to heal for all this I need time for myself I don’t want to give you hope because you did hurt me pretty badly,” I said looking away from his kicked puppy eyes

“I love you more than you think I do and I regret everything I have down I will do everything to fix everything I will fight for you I will make you fall in love with me it will be like a new start like getting to know each other for the first time hopefully I can make you fall in love with me once again and when I succeeded I will make sure to treat you like a queen to be the loyal boyfriend I should have been in the beginning I promise you that if it’s the last thing I do” he said hugging me tight

“Yeol I said it once before and I’ll say it again I love you and loving you is all I know but don’t push your luck and hope I know you are a good guy but I need healing and sometimes it might take years or forever I might move on from you.” I said giving him a sad smile

“Will you still work with us I will still get to see you right?” H eased hopeful

“This is my last week I will work for NCT there are a lot of boys that need my assistance you might see me around the building but I don’t guarantee that you will,” I said looking at him

“Oh I- “ I try to say something but stay silent

“Well, I have to go now I have a lot to prepare I won’t see you for the rest of the week I hope you have a good life and I hope you actually change l, bye Yeol I love you,” I said walking away from him and out of his apartment.

Chanyeol pov

I was so lost she was actually leaving me for good I was so late way too late for everything I should’ve apologized years earlier I should’ve never done anything I did I should’ve worshiped her when I heard her now I’m looking at her walk away from me and out my life as I did to her now it was my turn to pay for the pain I cause her it was my turn to suffer and feel everything she felt.

I was s,o stupid why did I think she would take me back like before Kyungsoo was right she would get tired and give up on me and she did she relished she deserved better and walked away and I didn’t blame her but I won’t give up I will fight for her I will wing her over and make thing right this time. For now I’ll be fixing myself first hopefully she doesn’t move on but if she does I won’t be mad I will make sure this new person in her life treats her better than I ever did.

- sorry if there’s any errors 🥺

[chanyeolsbiggestfangirl]

Synopsis:- After your failed attempt at a confrontation with Chanyeol, you decide to do what seemed best at that time, run away. Even with his indifference towards your feelings, you just couldn’t let go of him, the thought of him, the phantom touches he imprinted upon your soul caressing you in ways more than one. But running away is never a good solution in the long run, for unfinished business will always catch up with you.

Pairing:- Chanyeol X Fem Reader

Genre:- Angst, Smut

Author’s Note:- so, it is finally happening, the unnamed sequel to the request i wrote a few days ago. my heartiest thanks to @scuzmunkie for the heartwarming comments that made my day and prompted me to write a second part. also my deepest gratitude to all those who gave their love to the previous piece. this is for you all.

Prequel 

. . . 

You were a coward, a goddamn coward. You still remember that night and the aftermath of it pretty clearly.

Packing your stuff in the middle of the night with impulsive precision, your heart hurt but your mind was clear. The only way to save yourself and end your suffering was to leave, with no trace left behind. The only way to save your heart from hurting at the sight of his beautiful face was to make sure that he isn’t the first thing you see when you start your day. Your heart longed to steal one last look at him before you stepped out of the door, but the sensible part of you that had been ignored so long wasn’t having any of it. The first step is always the hardest and right now the first step was to not give in to the urge to see him. It was hard, but your mind urged you on and away. So you did it. Without sparing even a single glance at the tall male who held your heart in his hands, you stepped out.

Even now you have no idea of how you managed to do it all, but the memory of Chanyeol’s nonchalant shrug was what made you call your cousin and tell her that you’ll be staying over for the few days till graduation. The memory of his empty emotionless eyes was what drove you to block his number and then delete it for good measure. The memory of his cruel words borderlining on a rejection, was what drove your deepest instincts, all of it was what drove you to put some very much needed distance between you and the him.

In the few days that stood between you and the graduation and the ultimate freedom from all of this mess, you spend all your time alternating between gardening with your grandma and taking with Minseok for hours on end.

When the graduation came, you entrusted Minseok and Sehun to help you get through without running into Chanyeol. But even then it was too much for you. Being in the same space with him suffocated you, override all your senses. The possibility of even a single eye contact, a single interaction was enough to make your stomach hurt. You didn’t stay after the official ceremony, didn’t attend the party, you just told your friends that you’re done for the day and headed home. 

You felt a certain pair of eyes on your back, but you took deep steadying breaths and did not look back even once. 

Three Months Later 

There’s always room for improvement in life, only if you put your mind to it. It has been three months since you got your beloved masters degree, three months since you last felt Chanyeol’s gaze on you, three months since you moved across the city into your brand new apartment near your workplace. 

Three months of trying to heal in peace. Trying to wrench your heart away from the handsome giant. You wouldn’t say you’ve forgotten Chanyeol or moved on, you just made yourself busy enough to never have time to think about him, until he was all but a distant memory. 

But seems like the universe was done, done letting you get away with unfinished business. 

The morning started hazy, the sun made it pretty clear that it couldn’t be bothered to come out. You huffed a breathe as you looked out of your floor to ceiling window, you were honestly done with today and it hadn’t even properly started yet. 

You were always in a somewhat hurry to catch the elevator, it was not that you were late, it was just that the building that housed your office also had other establishments in the lower floors, complete with a high class soundproof studio occupying the entirety of the topmost floor. 

As usual, it was packed, enough not to suffocate and yet enough that you grateful for not slacking off. Usually, you’d always have someone else who was heading for the same floor, who’d already pressed the button to the 15th floor, but it wasn’t the case today. Finding that it wasn’t pressed yet, your hand itched towards it, only for your fingers to brush against someone who just entered. 

You looked up at the somewhat towering figure, only to be greeted by a familiar face. 

A painfully familiar face actually. 

There he was, his currently blonde hair swept back, his full lips jutting out in an early morning pout, dressed casually yet immaculately, brown orbs looking back at you with equal amounts of surprise and something that looked painfully like... longing. 

No 

You scolded yourself internally, trying to stop yourself from plunging into an endless abyss filled with thoughts of him and him only. But it was too late. The damage was already done. You pulled your hand back, averting your eyes, willing yourself to not give away the fact that he had initiated a torrent of emotions within you. You withdrew further into the flock of people in the elevator, putting some distance between you and him, head down, waiting until your floor comes up. 

You were breathless when you got on your floor, you massaged your temples with your thumb and forefinger. 

There goes my sanity for the rest of my existence. 

Turns out, the studio on the highest level was his. You were more than tempted to move places, ask for a transfer to another office, anything, anything to save yourself from running into him. A part of you was begging you to run away again, but the other begged to stay, to grow some fucking nerve. You finally discarded your impulsive letter requesting a transfer and prayed that today would be the first and last time you’d run into Chanyeol. 

If only it were the case. 

You stayed late at work, the lights on the worktables around you shutting off one by one as the time passed but you stayed. It wasn’t the work, it was him. You were working late just so that you could avoid running into him in the lift. When the clock struck eight, you finally stretched your arms and got your things and made to leave. The floor was all quiet. 

You stepped into the lift, mentally making plans to make instant ramen and watch your favorite movie. You were so engrossed in those that you didn’t notice that instead of descending, the lift climbed higher, stopping on the floor you dreaded. 

You were pulled out of your reveries when the doors pinged open and you stepped out only to bump into a warm and hard chest. You looked up and found Chanyeol looking at you. 

Oh no no no no NO 

You were fast to turn, but Chanyeol was faster. His arm came around your waist, pulling you to him, your back against his chest, his lips at your ear as his deep voice sounded in the empty area.

“Y/n please... please hear me out. I.. I am sorry. I really am, about that night. Please...” 

He sounded so... weak and vulnerable in those moments. His hand holding onto you, his broken plea. His hard body against yours shook slightly, awaiting your reaction, half dreading it. 

You wanted to scream at him. You wanted to tell him that you didn’t want to hear it. You wanted to pull away from him and say some really mean words and hurt him just the way he hurt you. You wanted to be far far away from him. 

But you were a weak woman when it came to him. You were weak for him. You were weak for his touch upon you. You were weak for the words voiced in that deep voice of his. You were weak with the way that voice took such control of you and your coherence. 

Had it been some other man, you would have pulled away, released your pent up frustration and then left. 

But Chanyeol wasn’t some other man. 

So you didn’t do any of those things, sighing deeply against his body, you nodded wordlessly. 

He turned you so that you faced him, hand still around your waist, holding you close, his face inches from yours, his hot breathe caressing your face. You didn’t realize you were cold until the warmth from his body seeped into yours and you found yourself leaning into it involuntarily. 

His brows were slightly furrowed, he looked at you with a pained expression,  such longing and sincerity in his eyes that the expression made you feel bare in front of him. Your heart was hammering in your chest, letting out breaths in small puffs as you tried to tell your mind to calm the fuck down.

You expected an apology, a half assed explanation perhaps. But what he said caught you off guard. 

“I missed you.” 

The words felt foreign on his tongue, felt unfamiliar to your own ears. Chanyeol had said a lot of stuff to you. But never these words. 

“Liar.” 

The word was out of your mouth before you properly process it, flinching inwardly at the unintentional yet somewhat intentional bite in that singular word which managed to capture your current feelings towards him. 

“I’m not lying, y/n. I missed you. Every single day, every single moment, I missed you.” 

His words and his grip around your waist were laced with fear and desperation, and gods, you wanted it, your heart yearned for it. Yet, another part of you was equally conflicted, whether or not to let him in again and let him destroy parts of you that you were trying to heal so desperately. 

He was making you weak for him all over again, with just a few words. 

You shook your head, “Chanyeol... stop. Whatever you’re trying to get at here, just stop. I... can’t take it! This is just like earlier again. You ask for an in, I let you in and then... and then you leave. Again. So, stop. Please.”

He sighs deeply, pain flashing across his features, his arm around you tightening as he pulled you even closer. His breathe mingled with yours when he spoke.

"Don't go. Please."

You squeezed your eyes shut, trying not to tear up again from the sheer force of all what was running through your mind. A torrent of buried emotions was resurfacing and you couldn't stop it. Your voice broke over the tears you tried to stop.

"You... you're hurting me. Don't you understand that?!? One moment, you want me and the other, you don't. That's so fucking confusing!"

It felt cathartic, to scream those words out to him, you took deep deep breaths, mumbling a little at the end.

"You ruined me. Hurt me. And I thought I was okay but seeing you now, I know I'm not and that's all your fault!

That's when you push him away, trying to put some distance between you both. He reached out with a hand, lips trembling and you could almost see the cogs in his brain moving, thinking on what to say.

"Y/n... I'm.. I'm sorry. I missed you so much. I can't- "

"Stop, Chanyeol. Stop it! Can't you understand!? I hate this all of this. I hate how my heart still holds onto you after what happened that night. I hate how all I've ever wanted is to be yours." You were panting now, head shaking side to side in internal denial, getting worked up at how ridiculous this situation was. When you spoke again, it was nothing less than a whisper, having spend all your energy on the heated exchange.

"I hate how I still want you even after all what you’ve put me through.”

Chanyeol closed the distance, his hands on your cheeks as he tilted your face, his lips crashing against yours, his tongue seeking entrance, which you readily granted in a heartbeat.

Your arms found their way around his neck, fingers tangling in his silky blonde locks, holding him close, pressing your body against his.

Your heart hammered in your chest, but this time there was a twin beat that hammered right alongside yours. There's just something about his touches, the lips that felt perfect against yours, the warmth from his human furnace of a body seeping into yours. 

There was just something about him that made you let go of all pretenses at reason. 

You missed him. You missed him so fucking much. You were just running away. Planning to fake it till you make it, but Chanyeol beat you to it. You missed his lips. You missed his searing kisses that would steal your breathe away. 

Each and every thing about him, whether big or small, made you stupid. It made you want to believe in his words. It made you want to give him chances, endless chances.

You were still very much in love with Park Chanyeol. 

He pulled away, resting his forehead against yours, breathing heavily.

“Don’t go, please.” The words were a breathless whisper, a chant in his head and heart. He sounded so broken, so vulnerable, it squeezed your heart until you couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think straight. 

. 

He took you home, and you let him. Chanyeol’s lips and touch were like a drug and you’d gladly let yourself be intoxicated by him. You knew it was bad for you, letting him in again so easily, but what could you do? 

The moment you stepped inside the door, his hands were on your waist, turning you around, his lips on yours, his hands pulling you impossibly closer. His lips molded against yours with a fervent need burning in them. It was surprising how he made your head swim and he hadn’t even done anything to you yet. 

You expected it all to be just the way it always happened, the frenzy of lips and tongue and teeth and clothes, impatient hands roving all over you, his touches setting fire to all reason. 

But it all changed when you legs hit the mattress and he did something you weren’t quite expecting. He turned you both, him landing on the bed with you on top of him, he pulled back a little and with the height difference now, he was literally looking up at you. 

This time, it was different. 

It was different when his lips found their way to your neck, leaving a trail of chaste, close lipped kisses. It was different when his hands found purchase in your hips and held you impossibly close as if scared that you would vanish into thin air the moment he let you go. 

“I’m sorry.” 

Those words broke your reveries. They were a breathless whisper against your skin, as if he was trying to imprint the words there, Each and every touch of his upon your heated skin felt as if murmuring an apology. His gentle fingers that explored every curve and plane seemed to echo that apology. As the fabric of your clothes slid off your skin, the lingering touch seemed to murmur in an apology. 

As his clothes and yours found a new place to be on the floor, his arm wound tightly around your waist, pulling you flush against his chest as if scared that you’d push him away and leave without a trace just the way you did three months ago. The heat from his skin seeped into you, you who’d been cold for so long without him. Even as your lips detached from each other’s, they brushed together, your breathes mingling with his. 

You pulled back further, sitting up on his lap, allowing him to adjust the weight, the hooded look in his eyes mirrored yours, his hands were at your sides, fingers brushing against the underside of your breasts, eyes travelling over every bare inch of you with such adoration in his eyes that you could have sobbed. When your lips found his again, his tongue explored your wet cavern like he needed this, needed you more than his next breathe. 

A low moan reverberated against your fingers as you explored the expanse of his chest sculpted from perfection, marveling at each and every plane and curve, his body shivering slightly. His other cradled your head, brushing aside stray strands of your hair.  As his lips leave yours, they began a downward trail, along your jaw and down your neck, down and down to the place between both your breasts.

“I’m sorry.” The words were breathless whisper, brushing his lips tenderly over the spot again and again, as if trying to imprint the words there. He kissed and bit and sucked on that spot, sure to leave a mark. His arm around you tightened, pressing his hips firmly against yours, eliciting a choked moan of his name from your parted lips. “I’m so fucking sorry.” 

Your head was in the clouds, your senses in a haze, you couldn’t bring yourself to either simply nod or say something to him, especially not when his lips on your skin and his hips grounding against yours was enough to make you forget your own name. Your sweatpants weren’t much of a help, rather a nuisance. He pulled away with a final nibble, getting you both rid of your remaining clothes. 

It was fast, yet slow, same yet different. Your breaths were fast, yet it felt as if you couldn’t get enough oxygen in, your mouths moving against each others in a primal, fervent sort of need, in wet, sloppy strokes. Each and every touch of his brought back a part of you that had been lost since forever. You missed him so much, so fucking much. You had been so bleak, so empty without him. You loved how he made you feel like yourself again. 

It was mutual, the need and desperation with which both of you clung to each other, it was mutual. The need and desperation with which Chanyeol held you in his arms as you finally sunk down on his length, his swollen lips parting in a broken moan of your name, head falling back against the pillows, eyes struggling to stay open and maintain contact with yours. The need and desperation with which you moved your hips against his, hands against his chest as you rocked against him. 

“Beautiful. You’re so beautiful, y/n.”

When the words registered against your clouded brain, you wanted to sob and beg, beg the heavens that this at least this meant something. That his words meant something, his apology meant something, his mighty heart thundering against your fingers meant something. That the position you were in, you on top of him and him at your mercy, it meant something. You were lightheaded, with the unspoken emotions coursing through you, with Chanyeol’s girth hitting all the right spots and making you see the stars, with the weight of all these sudden occurences upon your mind. 

Your thighs ached as you tried to keep up the pace you had set, your fingernails digging into his perfect skin and leaving little crescent moons, leaving your mark on him just the way he left his on you. Your skin was on fire as he trailed his hands over every inch of you, mapping it out as if trying to etch it to his memory. He gave you a few moments before he shifted, hands gripping your backside as he thrust up into you. His arms came around your hips, holding you tight before flipping you, with your back to the mattress, his thrusts increasing in pace, your plush lips parting as moans of his name filled the moonlit room. 

You struggled to keep your eyes open, the urge to give in to the pleasure and close your eyes was overwhelming. But you kept them open, looking up at Chanyeol. 

He was the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen.  

His beauty felt unreal. The way the soft moonlight illuminated his handsome features, skin glistening with a sheen of sweat, every bare inch of his body glowing, literally glowing. As he bend forward and tilted his head to claim your lips in a soft, sloppy kiss, you ran your hands through his silky locks.

You could never get enough of him. You could never move on from him. Just looking at him pulled at your heartstrings, throat constricting with all the unknown and unspoken and unexplored feelings and words you are not yet ready to embrace, even though you knew. He brought his hand to your cheek, tentatively brushing the sensitive skin under your eyes.

“Chanyeol...” Your voice was nothing more than a breathy whimper, he pulled his hand back, rising up and kissing you on your forehead, your name a chant on his lips, his blood, his soul, his existence. He slid his hand between your bodies and rub into you, making your stomach clench.

“Please. Don’t go. Please....” Even with the way he was above you and writhing under, he sounded so broken, so desperate. It was as if all his pleas were slowly but surely banging of the ironclad walls of your heart and with this one, his length filling you up wonderfully, fingers making you clench in euphoric pleasure, this one was the final nail in the coffin.

You rose up on your elbows, brushing your lips against his, breaths mingling as you whispered against his lips, “I’m not going anywhere, Chanyeol.”

That was all what the tall man needed and few more of his miraculous touches, you unraveled under him, his name a string of chants and you spilled all over him. his body jerked above yours, tumbling into the abyss with you, his grip on your hip so hard that you knew it’d bruise.

Your thighs quivered as he pulled out of you, his body fell alongside yours, the room that was filled with moans and pants and whimpers was now silent, yet it was abuzz with unspoken questions and uncertain answers. The silence was broken with his deep voice.

“Please, y/n. I know my track record of dating isn’t that impressive but please... give me a chance. Small steps? Please.”

You turned to look at him, his eyes were downcast, he was fidgeting with his fingers, fear of a looming rejection written all over his features.

You sighed, tilting his chin with a finger, you let your lips brush against his, not really a kiss but rather a fleeting contact. You pulled back as you said, almost fearful of your next words.

“You can start by not leaving, Yeol.”

He heaved an audible sigh of relief at your words, arms wrapping around you as he pulled you close, burying his nose in your neck, taking a deep breath and peppering featherlight kisses. Your fingers moved softly through his hair, eyelids heavy as you found yourself drifting off into the land of sleep to the sound of his steady heartbeat.

Chanyeol held your weak heart in his skillful hands and all you could do was pray that he didn’t break it again.

.

You opened your eyes to the sunlight filtering through your curtains and you found a small smile making it’s way to your lips at the warmth that seeped into you, at the heavy arm slung around your waist, the grip nowhere suffocating rather comfortingly tight, the kind that makes you feel safe.

Yes, the road ahead was uncertain and was filled with a lot of obstracles to overcome, but you’ll find a way.

Together. 

But right now, all you wanted to do was bask in this feeling. In this wonderful feeling of being in his arms, being his.

. . . . .

Final Note:- and it is over. i know i’m perhaps being too sentimental but this fic means a lot to me. The prequel of this piece was my first ever request as a writer. it is very special for me. writing this was an experience i will never forget. thank you all once again. oh and yeah, HAPPY BIRTHDAY EXOLS! Let’s Love for a very long time! ily <3333

[xerceii]

God’s Eye - Part 3 & 4

Pairing: Chanyeol/OC

Genre: Fantasy, Action, romance

TW/Warnings: 18+ included some gore, a scene with vomit, violence, murder, smut in future chapters, multiple sexual conversations, religious talk relating to God and the devil

Plot: Ahn Jung is a 25 year old office worker who underwent eye transplant surgery, she never thought that the donor would be a demon.

Note:

I’ll just post the next two parts

Masterpost is here

Part 3 - A contract

Ahn opened her eyes.

Her body felt sore and her throat burned. Almost as if she had swallowed glass. Did she scream in her sleep too? She sat up, at least her glasses had stayed on. Though she didn't remember coming back home. Her apartment was dark. It was rainy today and it will be rainy for the next two days. The clouds had covered the morning sun, rain pattered against the glass of her window.

That means it'll be humid. She groaned and fell back. Something poked her arm in the process. Ahn grabbed it and put it towards her face. "Huh... a stick. Wonder how that got there." She threw it aside and decided to go back to sleep.

"Ya! Wake up already, don't humans only need eight hours of sleep? It's been thirteen."

Thirteen? Wow, she had been tired. Ahn waved him off and twisted so her foot was outstretched. Of course surgery can do that to a person. She'll just have to make up for it later by going on a run. Wait-

Ahn gasped and stood up. She started hyperventilating. Yesterday? It had all been real? Sure enough her sheets were full of blood and dirt, small twigs and leaves had snuck their way in as well. Her knees were completely damaged. The top layer of the skin peeled off. It made her queasy. She fell over and the demon stepped out of the way so she wouldn't fall on him. "You're real."

"Very." Chanyeol looked impatient. He was frowning and looked a lot less excited than he had last night. He sighed and grabbed her arm, pulling her up. He led her to the window and pointed.

Outside below her window were seven figures. Humans, normal looking humans except they only stared at her. No emotions planted on their face, no movement that indicated that they were alive. Nothing. As if they were mannequins made of human flesh. She felt like throwing up. Ahn ran to the bathroom, closing the door and locking it in the process. Turning on the sink, she splashed water on her face.

This was real.

She hadn't been dreaming.

"Doors don't work on me." Chanyeol grinned, sitting on the edge of the bathtub. "But they do work on the lowly demons outside your apartment."

"Get out!" She shrieked. "You pervert! I'm going to shower! Get out!" Ahn knew she should've worried about the demons outside her house waiting for her, or her destroyed knees. Yet right now, she couldn't hide the blush that crept up her neck. Her face felt warm. She had never had a guy at her place before, much less someone as... attractive as him. She threw a towel at him and it landed on his smiling face.

He deserved more. Ahn threw her toothbrush next, her toothpaste, face wash, anything she could find close by. Chanyeol ripped the towel off his face and stood up. "Pervert?! Me? Ya! Do you know who you're talking to?"

"A pervert!" She yelled. Ahn became brave. Forcing her legs to walk, she gripped his arms and led him out of the bathroom. "You're not supposed to intrude on women while they're in the bathroom you idiot!" She shoved him out and closed the door. He didn't look angry anymore but confused. His brows had knitted together as he contemplated what she told him.

Ahn leaned against the door, gasping for air. How stupid was she!? She just called a demon a pervert and kicked him out by force. She groaned and fell to the ground. This was too much to handle. Her brain couldn't process all of this. The demons, her eyes, everything that had happened last night. Right her eyes. Ahn went towards the mirror, taking off her glasses.

They definitely had changed. No more pretty brown eyes. They were exactly like Chanyeol's. They were his eyes... Ahn wanted to cry, but she didn't let it get to her. Instead she showered. Letting the water wash away all the blood, dirt and trauma from last night. When she got out, she would accept it and continue on. Learn about it more. Ask that pervert demon for more information.

He was sticking around her for a reason.

Ahn finished, taking care of her knees first, she wrapped a bandage around both of them and then wrapped a towel around her. When she went to the door she stopped. Was he still here? Cracking the door open a little, the smell of sausages and rice filled her nose. It smelled heavenly. Her mouth watered, she was hungry. Ahn poked her head out to see Chanyeol had changed from his weird turtleneck and leather to a normal human looking hoodie. It made her blush even more. Is this what having a boyfriend felt like?

No stop! Stop it! She slapped herself and the demon turned at the sound. "Finally." He rolled his eyes, stirring the fried rice. The rain outside picked up and she felt embarrassed. "I need to get dressed."

"What?" He spoke impatiently.

"I'm naked! I need to get clothes!" Ahn snapped at him again.

Chanyeol looked bewildered. He shook his head and walked over to her dresser. "I'll get it. What do you want?"

"No- no it's fine, I can get it." Ahn muttered not wanting him to see her messy underwear drawer. Chanyeol shrugged and went back to the kitchen. Ahn stepped out. "I need you to leave so I can get dressed."

"Ya! I'm not looking!" He spoke frustrated. "I forgot, before... I forgot how these things work. I wasn't trying to be a pervert."

He sounded embarrassed. Ahn laughed at that, not really sure how demons could get embarrassed and went to get her clothes quickly. "I'll get dressed in the bathroom."

She found a long black dress that was good to stay at home with and decided to go with it. Ahn ran back to the bathroom and quickly got dressed. He's weird. Was he actually a demon? Why was she so calm about having this strange man in the house? She shouldn't be. That was dangerous, she should question him more.

That's what she had decided on in the first place.

Ahn left the bathroom and sat down at her mini dining room that was really a small round table that only fit two chairs. Chanyeol carefully laid out the food in front of her and even went as far as giving her a glass of juice. Ahn raised an eyebrow and looked at him.

"What?" He said, sounding like he was close to losing his temper.

"Why are you cooking for me?" She asked.

Chanyeol took a seat in front of her. His elbows rested on the table while he crossed his fingers, laying his chin on top of them. "You need to heal quickly. You strained yourself last night."

He was being nice. Why...?

"Can I trust you?" Ahn asked suddenly. "I mean, you're a strange man in my apartment. Am I safe?"

"No." He admitted. Chanyeol leaned back on his chair. "You are with me, but you're not safe. Also I'm not some strange man." He pointed at her glasses. "I'm the one who gave you your sight back."

"Oh." She touched the lenses softly. "Should I say thank you?"

"No. Now eat. You need your energy."

Ahn looked down at the stir fried rice. It looked so good...but she couldn't trust it yet. He could have poisoned it. She pushed it away and he stared in shock and anger. "Tell me everything first."

Chanyeol looked annoyed at that but nodded. "Fine. I'm a demon, those eyes used to be mine, they were transferred to you. Because of that all these lowly pathetic demons are trying to get their hands on you because eating you would make them more powerful."

Ahn choked on her juice. Chanyeol made a disgusted face and scooted his chair away.

"Eat me?!"

"Aish-" He went to the kitchen grabbing a napkin and came back. To her surprise, Chanyeol went behind her and started wiping her mouth like she was some sort of child. "They eat you, they get a piece of me. I'm a very powerful demon." He finished wiping her mouth and had the nerve to tuck a strand of her hair behind her ear. Ahn jumped up in panic.

"So-" It was suddenly hot. Too hot. Her face felt red again. "W-what about the people in the black robes?"

Chanyeol looked at her and down at his own hands. "The light of God. TLOG for short. A stupid cult that's been on my ass for decades now." He shook his head. "Last night was the closest they've been to actually killing me. I blame you for that."

Ahn gripped the edge of the wall. "Demons, cults, god... I don't get any of this."

"I know, because you're stupid."

She frowned at him. "How can I trust you? You said I'm safe with you but I haven't heard a good reason why?"

Chanyeol walked towards her, so close that her back pressed against the wall and their chests almost touched. He was so tall. He smelled good... like expensive cologne. Can demons actually smell like that? He tapped on her glasses. "Because I don't want my eyes eaten and I don't want myself exorcised. Is that reason enough?"

It was. She gulped and nodded. He was so close. So....handsome, he was very handsome. "S-So how do I stop this? What can I do? I can't keep fearing for my life."

"Indeed you can't." Chanyeol leaned even closer, his hand pressing against the wall beside her. "There is one way to speed up the process. A way to make it harder for the other demons to get to you."

"What is it?"

"A contract. Between human and demon. It's something that's been done for centuries now but it's looked down on, well you can imagine why. This way you'll belong to me and I'll belong to you. It'll add a new barrier of protection." Chanyeol stared into her glasses but it felt like it was burning through the flimsy plastic and through to her actual eyes.

"And how do we do it?" Ahn didn't like the sound of this. Being tied down to a demon sounded like something straight out of a horror movie. She would definitely need to be exorcised after that. Maybe even possessed. Was he able to possess her? Chanyeol brought his mouth to her ear, her breathing picked up.

His lips lightly touched the lobe and it took everything in her not to make a sound. Ahn had never experienced this type of feeling before, her stomach flipped and heated all at once. He was so close. Too close. Were all demons like this?  "How?" She asked again, trying to keep the conversation going. His breath tickled against her skin. It sent a shockwave through every nerve she had. Her body became painfully aware of his build and length.

He was so nicely built.

"We have sex."

                              ____________

Chanyeol held the ice pack to his cheek. It burned like hell. Of course it did. That girl carried demon power in her. It had been able to go through the veil that separated the mortal world and the spirit world. All of that energy so she can land a slap on him.

"Aish!" He kicked the stool in front of him and it fell over, earning another scolding from Kiol. He didn't listen. What did he do wrong? He heard her heart rate pick up? She blushed? He cooked for her? What else could he have done? He was handsome too? Didn't that count for something?

"Maybe you're not her type." Kai grinned cheekily. Knowing it would set him off. Chanyeol threw the ice across the room, hitting a demon in the process.

"I don't get it. I failed?" Chanyeol had never failed before. Not with women at least. Though he hadn't tried the contract too many times. Only twice. One for a similar situation and the other... he didn't want to think about it. "I never fail."

Kai smiled, enjoying this a little too much. "Fine, I'll help you out, you're probably just rusty. It's been a while since you've even seen a woman. Demon and human alike."

"Shut up."

Kai picked up the stool and sat down in front of Chanyeol. "Tell me what you did."

Chanyeol told him everything. Even the embarrassing part like being called a pervert in the bathroom. Kiol listened in as well. When they finished he wanted to kick the stool again. This time just so he can send Kai rolling away. They both started laughing. They laughed for quite a long time until they were nearly out of breath. He didn't even know it was possible for demons. Kiol continued laughing, shaking his head and leaving to serve a group of demons their drinks.

Kai tried calming himself down but couldn't. "I'm sorry it's just that, I never thought I'd see one of the most powerful demons in this situation."

"Shut up." Chanyeol repeated himself.

"Wow, humans are a lot braver these days aren't they?" He chuckled and twisted to lay his arms on the bar. "Your first mistake was calling her stupid. Everyone hates being called stupid. Your second mistake was being nice and rude at the same time you probably confused her. Push and pull is good but not like that."

"I was nice."

"Not nice enough. She wants to trust you, so you need to be able to gain it. Become friends with her."

Chanyeol gritted his teeth. This was too much work but it would be a lot shorter than waiting for her to age and die off. That would be annoying. He didn't think he could spend that many years around her. So his only choice was to have her give him his eyes willingly. He had lied to her. The contract wasn't an equal trade. Demons would never be that stupid. Once it was made he was able to own her. It was the oldest trick in the book and something that traced centuries back. He would be able to get her to do anything he wanted. He planned to get the contract over with and demand she clawed her eyes out for him once they fully healed. He wanted to kick something again. "What do I do then?"

"Your third mistake is thinking she'd just want to sleep with you. Seriously you've gotten stupid haven't hyung?" Kai laughed again. "Listen, you have to romanticize her. Take her on dates."

"No."

"Make her feel like she's wanted but also respected."

"She's not wanted nor respected."

Kai raised his hands in defeat. "Then have fun spending the rest of her life protecting and being around her. You did well cooking for her, and explaining everything to her but try to be nicer."

Chanyeol didn't say another word. He was beyond annoyed. He stood up and left the bar. The gates to it glowed as he exited, finding himself back in the mortal world. In a liquor store that had been abandoned in the eighties. Chanyeol kicked a bottle and ran a hand through his hair. "Be nicer huh?" He had always been competitive. Maybe if he saw this as a competition or a game it would work in his favor. Fine.

He can be nice.

The nicest demon anyone had ever encountered.

Part 4 - It’s hard to Process:

Ahn hadn't been working. She should have but Chanyeol's voice kept ringing in her ear.

Sex.

We have sex.

Sex....

Intercourse??!

She groaned, leaning back on her office chair. The cubicles around her were mostly empty due to many people quitting recently. So now it was just her, Aera and Baekhyun on this floor. Aera had called off today, which wasn't surprising. She hated the rain. Baekhyun was in the cubicle in front of her. He wasn't working either. From what she could see he had been twirling his pencil while staring at the ceiling for the last thirty minutes.

Sex... Ahn wanted to scream. Why did she slap him?! Why did he disappear the second she had?! Chanyeol hadn't even looked angry; he had been as shocked as she had been. It served him right but...why did she do it?

"You're groaning a lot over there." Baekhyun leaned out of his walls to look at her. "Diarrhea?" He joked.

"Stop-" Ahn looked at her friend. He was human but he was as equally as pretty as Chanyeol. It helped her calm down. Sure, the demon was good looking but it didn't mean he had a right to ask that of her. To be so forward with her. Baekhyun tilted his head curiously, white hair falling over one eye.

He was beautiful. He had dyed it that color because requiem decided to make him the center for his good looks. It fit well. When he danced he looked like a celebrity and even when he didn't, he did. Ahn looked at him and asked her question before even thinking. "What do you think of sex?"

"Sex?" Baekhyun looked surprised. He then smiled and gave her a thumbs up "It's great!"

She threw a pen at him in response. Baekhyun dodged and laughed. "I'm being serious! It's great! Why ask though?"

"This guy asked me..." She stopped. Ahn couldn't tell him about Chanyeol being a demon or how she was in danger. She couldn't tell him anything so she made up a lie. "Hmm, this guy I went out with asked me to sleep with him on the first date."

A very very big lie.

Baekhyun stood up and walked over to her. "Ya! Who was it? I'll beat him up. Do you want me to talk to him? That's not how you treat a lady barely out of surgery."

She laughed and shook her head knowing very well that even though he sounded like he was joking, he meant it. It's how he was. He stopped and contemplated. "Unless you were okay with it, then no judgement here-" He winked.

"I'm not sure how I felt." She admitted.

"Then I would go on a couple more dates to see how you feel." Baekhyun placed his hands on his hips. "If you feel weirded out by him then-" He popped his lips and pretended to hit an invisible ball with an invisible baseball bat. "Out he goes."

She nodded, not really knowing what to do with that advice. It's not like she had been on a date or anything. How could she even face Chanyeol after slapping him like that? And why was she embarrassed of him as if he was actually a human and not some weird creepy demon? Ahn groaned and Baekhyun mimicked her, going back to his desk. The elevator door dinged and Sunja ran in. "There's a really hot guy downstairs asking for you!" She ran up to Ahn, grabbing her shoulders.

The smaller female shook her violently in a way she could feel was playful jealous. Sunja was a lot like her. Same age, in the same dance group and has never had a boyfriend. Both were good at dancing and both got along because of the mutual understanding that love was hard. Unlike her though, Sunja had 20/20 vision and was a lot smaller than Ahn. Also unlike her, her bangs were thick in the front while Ahn decided she wanted curtain bangs.

"You should have told me you got a boyfriend, the betrayal hurts!" She pinched Ahns cheeks and Baekhyun watched amused. Just like Ahn... Sunja was equally dramatic. Ahn whined trying to get Sunjas fingers off of her cheeks. They both started struggling while Ahn complained that she was going to pop them.

The elevator rang again and Baekhyun whistled. Ahn ignored him, trying to get Sunja off of her. Sunja decided to hug her now. "We were supposed to be in this together! You little snake!"

"You're going to kill me! I can't breathe!" Ahn yelled at her.

"We can't have that happening can we?"

They both stopped and looked at Chanyeol who was staring at them with the same frustrated look he seemed to sport around her. He was back to his leathers. He looked like the demon she met the other night. Except his eyes were a normal brown. Chanyeol suddenly glared at Sunja "Why are you hurting her? She's important to me."

Baekhyun bursted out laughing and it had Chanyeol turning his attention to him. Ahn was too busy dying of embarrassment.

Why would he say it like that?!

Sunja let go of her and went towards Baekhyun who was now standing up. He was significantly shorter than Chanyeol but both Ahn and Sunja were thinking the same thing.

They were alike after all.

Handsome. So handsome. Both of them.

"Are you the one who asked Ahn to have sex with her?" Baekhyun asked, no longer the jokester. His eyes were shooting warning daggers at Chanyeol and Chanyeol was returning them.

Sunja looked at her in surprise.

"I did. Why?" Chanyeol asked.

"Wait," Baekhyun laughed sarcastically. "That's not how you treat my friend. Don't start making her uncomfortable."

Chanyeol snorted and looked at Ahn. "Let's go. We need to talk."

Sunja seemed to be angry at him now too. She walked up to Chanyeol. "You pervert! Is that all you want from her? Tell us the truth!"

"Pervert?! Why does-?!" Chanyeol looked annoyed now. "Humans are so-" He stopped both sentences and smirked. "And what if it is? What if all I want is to touch her and pleasure her?"

Ahn's eyes widened. The heat in her stomach came back. Her eyes roamed over his body. No. Stop letting him win! Ahn took off her glasses and threw them roughly on the ground.

"Ya!" Chanyeol immediately bent to pick them up. He placed them back on her head carefully, earning bewildered glances from both her friends. "I told you to take care of the eyes!"

"See he cares about me, he's just being silly!" She said awkwardly. Ahn grabbed Chanyeol's arm, tugging him away from them and towards the elevator. He was dangerous. Maybe not to her, but probably to her friends. Surprisingly, Chanyeol let her lead him out. They reached the elevator and she waited until the doors closed to yell.

"Why were you trying to get them mad?! Why did you say that stuff? We barely know each other and you're already getting involved in my life like this? How'd you even find out where I worked?"

"How are my eyes?" He ignored her.

"My eyes are fine. They're healing." She muttered annoyed. Her blush hadn't gone down and she still wanted to keep touching him weirdly enough. Chanyeol crossed his arms, lost in his own thoughts.

Her hands formed into fists. "I'm not having sex with you. I've decided. Even- even if it'll help our situation and create less threats for me. I can't. Like I said we barely know each other and I've barely met you. It'd be weird." Plus she was a virgin. She didn't want to tell him that part though.

"Fine." Chanyeol shrugged. The doors opened and he walked out. Ahn followed behind. They left the office building and went out into the rainy streets of Seoul.

"Fine?" She asked. "So that's it? For a demon you're pretty lenient."

"I won't force you to. If you don't want to then fine." Chanyeol pointed across the street to two figures similar to the ones that had been outside her apartment. They smiled and stared at her like she was going to be their last meal on earth. Ahn edged closer to Chanyeol and he stepped away from her. He then frowned and went back to stand beside her. "Ah...Don't worry I'll keep you safe. They're not strong enough to take me on so they won't attack today. Though it's going to be annoying having to protect you twenty four seven."

"Thank you." She grabbed his sleeve and they walked across the street. Her heart pounded. Those faces were inhuman. Waxy and glazed over. Evil puppets. It was terrifying. Chanyeol put himself in front of her and they faded away. Like mist or fog the demons left.

"Don't be. I shouldn't have thrown that option out like it was nothing." Chanyeol grinned. "I mean for me it's nothing, but I know humans are sentimental creatures. Know each other or not, Demons run on different time. Five years can seem like an eternity for us."

"I think depending on the situation, it can seem like an eternity for humans too."

"What do you mean?"

"Like if you're trying to figure out life for example. Five years sounds like a long time, an eternity to get it done but before you know it, it's reached you. Time is scary like that for everyone. Even demons I'd guess."

"Interesting." Was all he said.

In five years would she be married? Would she have finally found a husband? A boyfriend even? Would she still be a virgin? Ahn looked at Chanyeol. He was technically her type. He was anyone's type. Tall, handsome, good voice.

"Maybe if we-"

He stopped to listen to her and she closed her mouth. What was she saying?! What was she about to suggest?! If they went on a couple dates and started dating? Of course he wouldn't want that. Ahn shook her head. "-Nevermind."

She wanted to run now. Not run away, but just run to get all these pent up feelings out. Looking down at her shoes, she shrugged and took off. They weren't the best for running but not the worst. At least she hadn't worn heels today. Behind her she could hear Chanyeol yelling at her. Ahn ignored him and kept running. It felt good to run. Small droplets of water hit her face and she took them all in.

Her knees ached but it was fine. Chanyeol was running behind her. That's fine too. Ahn ran into the park and started her first lap around the track. It's something she always did after work. If not, she would go and practice dancing with Baekhyun, Sunja and the rest of requiem. She focused on the path in front of her, the dark grey cement that had been colored by the rain. Her shoes that came and went one at a time depending on foot.

She continued running until Chanyeol appeared in front of her, she crashed into him but he held her upright. "What did I say about being careful?!"

Her vision was blurring again. Ahn shoved him away. "I'm fine, I just have to keep moving." She started running again but was stopped by Chanyeol as he grabbed her wrist.

"This healing process is going to be impossible with you isn't it?"

"Why do you care so much?!" She tried pulling her hand away but he was stronger. The rain picked up, plastering her hair down. "You said you don't want your eyes eaten but you're dead right? Or at least a form of it? Why do you care about them? Why can't I just have them? Why don't all these demons leave me alone!?"

There it was. What she had been avoiding. Ahn wasn't one to complain often but right now she was angry, frustrated and scared. She hadn't had enough time to process all of this. She had tried accepting it and shutting everything else down. There probably would never be enough time to process.

There weren't enough years in her life for her to come to terms with what was happening. She didn’t think she could ever get used to it. Chanyeol only stared at her as she yelled at him. The water didn't reach him. He wasn't getting wet. As if an invisible protective layer had been built around him. She looked down at their hands, even her hand was wet, except for the rest he held.

Nothing made sense.

"Why?" Ahn asked him. "Why Are your eyes so important to you? I get it for the lower demons but why you? I need to know more!"

Chanyeol didn't answer. Instead his gaze shifted to her hair. "You're going to get sick, let's get you home."

"Also that. Are you a nice person or an asshole? I don't get it either. You're so weird." She pulled her arm and this time he let go. Ahn walked out of the park and towards her apartment. He hadn't answered her and judging by his facial expression he wasn't going to.

She deserved an explanation didn't she? Ahn knew she did. Why couldn't her surgery come with normal side effects? No, she had to get a demon and a cult. Ahn had never been religious, this was all new to her.

She didn't check if Chanyeol was behind her.

Making it back to her apartment, thanks to the water, her shoes made a stupid noise with every step made. She took the stairs, grateful Chanyeol didn't annoy her with a 'take the elevator' comment. When she reached the front door, the sweet smell of soup and bread filled her nose.

Ahn rushed in to find her mother by the stove warming up a pot she had brought. Ahn looked back to see that Chanyeol wasn't there. How long had he been gone?

Oh well. He was probably mad at her.

"I'll be out of your hair. I know you hate me visiting unannounced." Her mom muttered. She wiped her hands on a dish rag and hugged her.

Ahn accepted it, not really knowing what to say except a small thank you. Her mom patted her head and walked towards her bed. "I also brought your things back from the hospital. Your personality always amazes me. You were able to make a friend in such a short amount of time. Wish you were that nice to me and your father though."

"What?"

"Your friend, what was it? Abel? Gabe?" She shuffled through the tote bag filled with her belongings and took out a small piece of folded paper.

"Gabriel?" Ahn asked, taking the note.

"That's right! Gabriel, he was such a sweet boy. Very sick though. It's sad seeing someone so young look like that. Do you think he has a chance of getting better?"

Her mom kept rambling on. Ahn ignored her, shakily opening the note. The one time Chanyeol decides to leave her alone is the one time he should be here. She didn't want any of this. In very bad handwriting read a simple message in black ink. So simple her mother wouldn't be able to go detect anything off with it, but enough that she would understand.

To my junk food buddie:

I hope we can talk again soon!

- Gabriel

How soon was he thinking? Did the cult know where she lived? Ahn looked at her mom "Did you tell him where I live?"

"No! Should I have?"

She shook her head. "N-No, no. Don't tell anyone."

"I'm not just handing out your address to everyone I meet you know?" Her mom sighed, going to the stove again. She started telling her about the different ingredients she had put in the soup.

"That sounds delicious!" Ahn faked a happy tone and walked over to the window. There were two figures today. A man and woman, smiling up at her. Both looked like they were in their late forties. She wanted her mom to leave but would it be dangerous? Ahn pressed her hand against the window, both bodies shifted closer. It reminded her of zoo animals.

Specifically one time when she witnessed the handlers waving the food in front of the glass display for the monkeys to see. Some had stared, happily waiting. While most... most had gone wild. When would these demons get desperate enough to do the same thing? Her breath shook.

Those smiles were nothing human.

Chanyeol came up behind them. The vanished quickly and he looked up at her. Ahn sighed in shamed relief. All those things said to him only for her to be happy when he was here to protect her. She should keep him around.

At least for now.

__________

Chanyeol frowned, he followed Ahn's birth mom until she got home safely. He didn't know why he was doing it but it would definitely earn him points in her favor.

He quickly landed on the rooftop of the last building which was a small convenience store. There, in front of it he could see Ahn's childhood home he presumed. Her mother opened the door and walked in. He didn't leave until he heard the door click.

And then he was off again.

Chanyeol sped back towards the girl's apartment. Jumping from rooftop to rooftop sometimes getting the energy to transport himself a couple feet. He was nicer today... so he thought. He probably shouldn't have pushed her friends but they had irritated him.

What was it with humans calling him a pervert lately?!

If only they knew he could crush them. Even possess them if he went far enough. Ahn had also pushed him too far today. All those questions. He hadn't been prepared. His energy crackled and burned at his fingertips. He had to leave her for a moment before he set something on fire.

Why were his eyes so important to him? Well that was a secret of his own. Something she didn't deserve to know. Not even Kiol and Kai knew. Chanyeol went through the window without letting the glass open. Ahn was in the shower... like always. He sighed and sat down on her bed. Something slipped and fell on the ground. It clattered loudly. He cursed and bent down to pick it up.

It was....

He didn't know. Chanyeol stared at it confused. It was square-ish and made of mostly glass from what he could tell. It was warm too. There was a rubber case around it. The thing lit up and he stared at it. It was almost like a mini television.

"Interesting." He muttered. Instead of a show there were a bunch of words on the screen. Chanyeol gripped it sideways and it turned the words to the right position. Even more interesting. He quietly started reading.

_________

Ahn was prepared today.

She had brought her clothes in the bathroom just in case Chanyeol had come back. She covered herself more than usual too. Usually wearing shorts and a crop top to sleep, Ahn had picked out loose sweatpants and a sweater to wear instead. For modesty.

Walking out of the bathroom she found Chanyeol on the ground, back against her bed with one foot stretched out and the other bent with the knee facing the ceiling. Did he know how much of a model he looked like doing that? He probably didn't care. He was too busy staring at her phone.

Her...Phone.

"No!" Ahn shouted, rushing to him and snatching the phone out of his hands.

"Ya!" Chanyeol stood up trying to grab it back from her. She didn't let him, Ahn stretched her arm back as far as it went so he wouldn't reach. He stretched too almost tripping over.

"I'm trying to finish the story!"

"You were reading it!?" Ahn's voice came out in almost a squeak. She held out a hand stopping him. "How much did you read?"

"The part where he put his mouth between her thighs and-"

"Stop! Stop! Stop!" Ahn was embarrassed all over again. She might actually die from it this time. She locked her phone and tucked it in her pocket.

Chanyeol grinned and stood straight. "It's funny, Your heart is beating wildly. I'm guessing you've read this too? Literature has gotten very erotic. Though, I can do better than the guy in the story."

Better!? This was supposed to be Sunja's nastiest fic yet. Ahn was mortified. She had opened her phone to find a million texts from her friends but the link to Sunja's new story had her running to shower so she could cuddle up in bed and read it. She must have left her phone unlocked in the process. Ahn slid to the floor, crossing her legs and burying her hands in her face. "I can't believe you read that."

"Is this your favorite author?"

She laid completely now, tucking her body in and pressing her knees to her chest. "Sunja wrote it." Her words came out muffled by her hands.

"Who?"

"The girl you met today. With the black hair and bangs."

"The one torturing you?"

Ahn nodded. She heard Chanyeol sit down beside her. Ahn twisted to look at him, he was smiling at her. Actually smiling. He seemed to be over whatever mood he had been in at the park today. Ahn sat up and glared at him. "What?"

"Nothing. You'll just slap me again."

She frowned yet felt better that he was here now. At least she won't have to worry about someone attacking her right now. Which reminded her... Ahn pointed behind him to Gabriel's letter. Chanyeol turned around and grabbed it, he unfolded it and read it slowly.

His face changed. His eyes darkened and the paper in his hands disintegrated as if he had burned them without flames. "The cult." He muttered. "Do they know where you live?"

She shook her head. "Not yet, it sounds like they're trying to find out."

"They'll have more people next time."

It was still raining outside. A strike of lightning painted the sky, the room filled with a white light and in that moment she could see figures. It only lasted a second, as much as it took for the room to light up and darken again. But at that moment, Ahn saw multiple figures. A crowd of shadows in the shape of humans surrounding them. Ahn stood up, suddenly scared for her life. Chanyeol looked up at her and then looked around.

"Don't worry, they're not demons. Just spirits."

"Ghosts?" That didn't make it any better.

"The spirit world and the human world are in the same plane of existence. A thin veil separates it but technically, they walk amongst the living. They won't hurt us, some don't even know they're dead." Chanyeol looked towards her bathroom, his voice came out low and serious . "Many can't even see you. You can only see them because you have my eyes."

Ahn followed his gaze but saw nothing now. A shiver crawled up her back and she walked towards her bed. Getting under the sheets, Ahn covered herself until she felt safe. Something she hadn't done since she was a child.

It was useless to freak out again. "Chanyeol-" she whispered.

"Hm?"

"Can you stay the night?"

"You want to do the contract?" He joked.

She didn't feel like joking. Ahn closed her eyes and pretended like she hadn't seen those figures. Pretended like she hadn't heard Chanyeol. "Just no funny business. Just stay by my side."

"Don't worry, I'm nice. Get your rest. Demons don't sleep."

Ahn didn't know why he had to sneak in the nice part in but took that as a good sign, though something in his voice sounded off when he said the last part. It almost sounded like he was angry at the fact.

Either way she fell asleep.

[soft-jihoonie]

I Hated You But I Want You - Chapter 2

Pairing: Chanyeol x f!reader

Genre: University AU - enemies to lovers

Warnings: none currently, may change throughout the series

Words: 927

A/N: As always, if you like the fic please like, reblog or reply! I’d love to know what you think

| 1 | 2 |

Chanyeol has sent you way too many flirty texts since you gave him your number 3 days ago, and you have to admit you’re sort of impressed by his commitment as you haven’t responded to a single one.

It’s getting annoying now though as you’re trying to focus on studying in the library, your phone vibrating consistently because Chanyeol is apparently only capable of sending a couple of words per message instead of full sentences.

You shoot an apologetic look to your table mates and pick up your phone, only to realise Chanyeol is actually calling you. You quietly ask someone to look after your things and then head out the library with your phone.

As you step outside you answer your phone, saying “What Chanyeol?”

His voice carries through the phone loudly enough you have to pull it away from your ear. Chanyeol sounds excitable when he says “Let’s meet up”

Your voice doesn’t hold the same enthusiasm, “Why?”

You can almost see the pout on his face when he responds, “Does there need to be a reason?”

You sigh, running a hand through your hair as you say, “Look, unless you wanna talk about our project, I gotta go. I’m studying and I left my stuff in the library.”

You mentally curse yourself as he says, “You’re in the library? I’ll come meet you, I’m in the cafeteria.”

“Chanyeol if you’re just coming to bug me then please don’t bother”

“We’ll work on our project I promise.”

You huff out a “fine” before hanging up and returning to the library.

Chanyeol’s promise was a lie and you should have known it would be.

You’ve exasperatedly spent the last 20 minutes trying to get him to focus on the project but he’s way too distracted. His newest distraction is a pretty girl who’s walked into the library, browsing books in the science section.

You click your fingers in front of Chanyeol’s face and snap out, “God, could you stop checking out other girls and focus!”

Chanyeol turns his attention back to you, a smirk on his face as he says, “Jealous?”

“Could you just pay attention to the project for once? I stopped studying for my exam because you promised to focus!”

Chanyeol surprisingly looks a little sheepish, “I didn’t realise you have an exam, when is it?”

“In 2 days, and I’m really not prepared.”

Chanyeol wrings his hands nervously and asks, “Do you want help studying?”

Your jaw drops open in shock and you say, “You want to help me study? You wouldn’t even focus on our project.”

Chanyeol shrugs, an apologetic look on his face, “Well this is definitely more urgent so can I at least like help by quizzing you?”

There’s nothing exactly left to lose by saying yes you decide, so you nod and pull up a practice exam on your laptop. You pass your laptop to Chanyeol and the seriousness on his face is definitely not what you’re used to.

You spend the next hour running through practice exams with Chanyeol, and he surprisingly manages to stay serious the whole time.

Chanyeol asks you a question and your mind blanks, you can’t for the life of you remember the answer.

You’re visibly getting frustrated at your inability to remember the answer, and it surprises you when Chanyeol’s hand reaches out to squeeze yours reassuringly.

Despite your dislike for him, you feel yourself relax at the feeling, especially when he says, “Hey, it’s okay if you don’t remember, it just means you know to study more in this specific area!”

You nod, taking a deep breath before responding, “You’re right, let’s move on.”

Chanyeol nods, his hand lingering for a bit longer before he finally lets go and goes back to scrolling through your laptop. You ignore the slight sadness you get when he lets go, putting it down to the fact you’re just stressed.

By the time it hits evening, you’ve studied hard to the point where you’re feeling much more confident, and Chanyeol stayed focused the whole time.

You stretch your arms up as Chanyeol slides your closed laptop towards you, not noticing how his gaze runs over your body. Turning to him as your arms flop back down, you say, “Uh, thank you for today, it was really helpful.”

Chanyeol shrugs, picking up his backpack and responding, “It’s no biggie, I’m sure you’ll smash your exam now.”

A little smile appears on your lips as you pack away your things and you’re about to respond when you realise Chanyeol is no longer looking at you. Following his gaze, you see he’s found the girl from earlier again.

He doesn’t look back at you as he stands and says, “Gotta go, see you in class.”

It’s definitely not sadness you feel as you watch him approach the girl, her grinning up at him and touching his hand on the table. The bitterness is just because you dislike his behaviour towards girls, right?

Shaking your head to rid it of any thoughts, you pick up your bag and head out of the library to go home. What Chanyeol does with other women is none of your business, all you need to focus on is your exam and your project with Chanyeol.

Your project that he somehow yet again managed to avoid working on with you. It’s hard to be mad though, he spent hours helping you study. Chanyeol feels so hot and cold, helpful one moment and disregarding you the next.

No wonder everyone complains about working with him.

[loeyverie]

acho minhas capas tão vazias pq sou preguiçosa... deixei a preguiça de lado pra tentar deixar essa mais bonitinha e foi mto divertido de fazer i love a cor rosa !

[marshmallow-phd]

A Manor of Shadow and Blood

Genre: Regency Gothic AU

Pairing: EXO x Reader

Summary: A stormy night brought you to the manor in the middle of the woods. Nine strange men occupied its halls. They won’t let you leave. A dangerous secret haunts this estate. Learning it might either be your saving grace or it could lead to the last breath you ever take.

Part: 1 I 2 I 3 I 4 I 5

**

The grand hall was lit as bright as midday. Every surface was polished to perfection, reflecting the candlelight at a greater force. Brilliant brass and gold surrounded you as you made your way through the dancing couples, their movements in perfect sync. Wrapped in each other's arms, they spin around without a care for your wandering presence. 

While all who surrounded you were decorated in blacks and whites, your own dress was the color of freshly spilled blood. The heavy skirts that hug from your waist made it difficult to navigate the ballroom. Their fullness was of an older fashion, one that maybe your grandmother would have worn in her youth. The dropped shoulders left you exposed, your skin chilled despite the amount of bodies in here. 

You kept navigating the dance floor, on the look out for something, though you didn’t know what. Then you felt the familiar burn of eyes boring into your back, which sent a shiver down your spine. You whirled around to find the source, the dress brushing at your feet with the sudden motion. Through the crowd, you spotted Baekhyun leaning against the wall. With a single finger, he beckoned you over. And you obeyed. 

Breaking through the sea of dancers, you took in his elegant suit, the hems lined with gold thread that shimmered against black velvet. 

"You shouldn't dance alone," he purred. Arms crossed over his chest, he smirked at you with a grin even the devil wouldn't wear.

"I have no partner," you retorted. He held out a lazy hard. Hardly the romantic gesture. "No, thank you." 

"How about me?" asked a sweet voice in your ear. 

You turned your head to find Junmyeon at your back. He laid a soft hand on your hip to keep you from escaping out of propriety. When you didn’t shove him away, the hand slyly moved to your stomach, pulling your bare shoulder blades into his chest. With the fingers of his left hand, he tilted your chin towards him. 

"Am I a suitable partner?" 

No answer passed your lips. You could think of nothing to say. The thought of him twirling you around the dance floor was not… unpleasant. 

Junmyeon neither needed nor cared for a reply. He dipped his head to your shoulder and pressed a kiss to the skin. A small gasp passed your lips. And then he pressed another. More and more as he climbed up the curve of your neck. Heat rose from every inch of you as you sighed into the affectionate touches. You relaxed into his touch, welcoming each new contact of his lips. 

"It's rude not to share, Junmyeon.”

Your attention snapped back to Baekhyun, who you had forgotten was there. He pushed himself off the wall and stepped closer to you so he stood in front of the minor. 

No, not a mirror. There was no reflection. 

Except… there was. The mirror reflected the floor, the ceiling, the candlelight. You. 

But not Baekhyun. Not Junmyeon. And not the dancers still spinning behind you. 

Fingers snaked through your hair and pulled your head back, your vulnerable neck exposed. From the gallery above, Kyungsoo watched as elongated fangs flashed behind Junmyeon’s lips and plunged into your neck. 

*****

You woke with a start, the blanket flying off of you as you sat up in a fury. Sweet drenched every pore of your skin. Your day old dress clung to your skin in a way that felt suffocating. Each breath was a struggle for your lungs. 

Vampires. The nightmarish tale that had kept you up as a child until you were convinced they weren't real turned out to be true. But how could they be real? 

Creatures of the night. Blood drinkers. Horror stories meant to keep children from wandering about after dark. 

Curling your legs to your chest and encasing them in your arms, you tried to think of a way out. To escape. With what strength you possessed, you slid off the bed and walked over to the window. The sun, so bright and full of life, was just beginning its descent towards the horizon. Night–their domain–was hours away. If the legends were true, then they would all be asleep at this moment. Any risk that was to be taken had to be taken now. 

After changing into a sturdier dress, you retrieved your still mud-covered boots and, keeping them in one hand, you carefully pushed away the pathetic barrier and snuck out of the room. 

Each step was taken with unmatched caution. You tested every board with your foot before fully committing. Any squeak of a floor or stumble down a stair could alert them to your escape. But by the grace of a miracle, you made it to the front door. Fingers trembling, you pulled on the boots and tied up the laces before opening the door only wide enough for you to slink through. 

The next breath taken outside was like the first breath of life. But there was no time to take it in. 

Gathering your skirts in your grip, you took off into the trees. The dirt was dry and sturdy under your feet. Branches and leaves crunched with the weight of your boots. A lady’s delicacy was out of the question as you ran without abandon. You didn't know what direction you were running. But vampires needed blood to survive and they weren’t drinking yours. And Jongdae had brought those buns from a bakery, not their own kitchen. You doubted any of them knew how to cook. That meant a village or town had to be nearby. Junmyeon had lied about the isolation of the manor. If you just kept going, you could find freedom. 

However, your stamina was running out. This was never your preferred activity. Your lungs and throat burned in an unfamiliar way. The sun still shined above. A short respite could be spared. 

You leaned against a tree trunk for support. In your boots your feet pulsed. Only now did you realize that you had run away without food or water. Not knowing where the kitchen was located, you didn't have time to waste on it. You could survive, you told yourself. Just a little farther. The town couldn’t be too far. Unless you were headed in the wrong direction. 

A rustling rippled through the silent forest. You snapped to attention, trying to find the source. 

“The wind,” you gasped between ragged breaths. “It had to be the wind.” 

A low, rumbling growl said it wasn't wind. 

In the distance, large silhouettes emerged. Wolves. Nearly a dozen of them. 

You ran as fast as your crying legs could take you. With their superior nature built for the hunt, the wolves caught up to you within seconds. Their growls and howls grew louder and more threatening behind you. Running from the manor had been easy. Running from the wolves was to be your end. 

Powerful paws slammed into your back. You were thrown to the ground, rolling across the ground as a scream ripped at your throat. The momentum stopped you on your stomach. Hair covered your face, but you could still see your death through the strands. 

Wolves of gray and black gathered in a half moon circle. They had their prey in perfect position. The middle wolf pounced. All you had time to do was throw up your arms to protect your face. Claws raked across your forearm. Another scream echoed through the merciless trees. The wolf landed on the other side of you with pride. Now you were surrounded. A second wolf leapt. 

A blur appeared in front of you and collided with the wolf midair. The two bodies tumbled across the forest floor. A human and the wolf. 

Not a human. 

Chanyeol. The wolf trapped within his grasp, Chanyeol tightened his grip–

Crack. 

The wolf fell limply to the ground, its tongue hanging from its jaw. 

The others appeared seconds later. Not understanding what they were up against, the wolves let you go to attack the newest threat. 

"Are you alright?" Junmyeon knelt down in front of you. His hands were outstretched as if you were the wild animal on the verge of attack. Behind him, snarls and whimpers told of the fight–and who was winning. Despite not answering him, he caught sight of your bleeding arm. "We need to get back to the manor." 

He didn't ask permission before picking you up into his arms and sprinting through the forest. Everything blurred past you, your loose hair whipping at your face. He burst through the manor doors and didn't stop until he was able to set you down in the largest chair. Once you were safe, he fell to his knees, only his palms keeping him upright. The others soon stumbled in behind him, heaving and collapsing onto the floor. Only then did you notice the smoke floating up from each of their backs. Patches of burnt, red skin sizzled on their knuckles and faces. Anything that had been exposed to the sun. 

"Baekhyun," Junmyeon gasped. 

"I already have it." Kyungsoo came into the parlor with bottles stacked in his arms. He quickly passed them around, waiting until the others were quenching their thirst before pulling the cork out of his own bottle and chugging the contents. 

With his bottle empty, Junmyeon tossed it to the side and wiped his mouth with his sleeve. Red smears stained the ivory fabric. You shrank back in the chair as he turned towards you. 

"What hell were you thinking!" He growled. "I warned you about the wolves!" 

"Junmyeon, she's shaken up enough," Jongdae defended. Before your eyes, his burnt skin healed to be like new.

"She could have been killed!" 

Your head was pounding. He was… concerned about your life? The legends said that the sun was a vampire's deadliest enemy. It was why they thrived in the darkness. But they had all risked a final death to come after you. 

"Did you hear me scream?" you whispered. You could barely feel your own lips moving. All heads tuned to you. 

Yixing was the one to answer. "Yes. We all heard you." 

"Why were you out there?" Sehun asked aggressively.

You sucked in a sharp breath. There was no escaping the truth now. You stared at Jongdae. "I figured it out.” 

Baekhyun laughed. "At least we don't have to walk around delicately anymore." 

"When exactly did you do so?" Minseok mocked.

"Then you should remember what I said to you before was true. Harm would not come to you within these walls." Junmyeon crouched down next to the chair. His eyes... there was something behind the darkness that tugged at your still wildly beating heart. "I know you were running away. And if you're desperate to get away enough to get yourself killed, then the choice can be yours. We can send you on your way with every provision. Or," he cleared his throat, "you stay here. With us." 

A choice? He was giving you a choice?

Your gaze drifted over the faces that stared back at you. Even Kyungsoo refused to look away while he waited. There was almost a plea in his expression, a subtle beg. But was it to stay? Or for you to run as far away as possible? 

Junmeyon took your attention away when he picked up your wounded arm with delicate fingers. His pleading was much more clear. 

To leave would be the better choice. The more sane choice. But what would happen afterwards? You could claim being lost in the woods. With evidence of the carriage and the missing driver, what else could they believe? After a few days on bed rest, you would be back by your aunt's side, following her every whim. Including indulging her on a "perfectly adequate" suitor because you had no other option, no other path. That suitor who would then become your future. But you didn't want it. You refused to give in to it. 

Already within these few days, you were… changed in a way. They might not be human, but these men would forever be burned into your memory. Who could move you with music the way Chanyeol had? What silent strength could match the aura of Junmyeon? You had been promised that none of them would harm you. The chance for something extraordinary was right in front of you. The kind of chance you had only read about. It just had to be taken.

"I think… I think I want to stay."

*****

The moon became an ever changing friend. You hardly saw the sun anymore. Like the men you had given yourself over to, you lived under the stars. It was oddly beautiful. This time was often forgotten about by you and many others. The night was only a background to your time within your dreams. But now it was your entire world. 

Every evening, you awoke to the dying orange light of the day. Breakfast always waited for you outside the door. It was the rule that no one broke; none could enter your room without explicit permission from you. Those walls remained your safe haven when things grew too overwhelming. 

Despite your decision to stay, discovering that other creatures walked the earth required a step away once in a while. Especially now, with you aware of their true nature, the men were refusing to hold back. 

Dropping from the roof, running around with spectacular speed, and lifting objects that ten men couldn't hold. It was remarkable. Except for the diet and inability to walk in the sun, the… condition seemed more like a blessing.

"You're rather thoughtful this evening,” Jongdae commented. He walked beside you like he did every twilight. 

After you finished your breakfast, you met Jongae at the front doors to go on a walk around the manor grounds. Often others would join you as well. Junmyeon was the most frequent, though Yixing, Changed, and Jongin made many appearances over the past week and a half. Boundaries were constantly tested, but one word from you and they retreated.

"I guess you could say I am thoughtful tonight," you finally sighed. You hadn’t realized that you were being so obviously quiet. Funny, since you would have thought Jongdae would enjoy the silence. You typically had many questions or comments of your own to make. 

"Should I go steal a penny from Sehun?" 

You laughed. "I'd like to think my thoughts are worth more than a single penny.”

"They must be if you've become so skilled in deflecting from them." He crossed over to block your path. Gaze narrowed, he studied your carefully guarded expression. "What are you thinking about so hard? Regretting your decision to stay already?" 

"No," you insisted. "Not at all."

He raised an eyebrow that simply asked, "Then what?" 

"Do you always stay here?" you countered. "At the manor, I mean." 

"We travel," Jongdae answered with a nod. "Not too often. It’s a bit difficult, you see."

"But we like traveling north.” Minseok dropped from who-knew-where, landing with barely bent knees and hands folded behind his back. "In the winter, the night lasts longer. Junmyeon has a small hunting lodge up there. 

A hunting lodge? "Then why do you stay here?" 

Minsoek shrugged. "This manor is bigger." 

"Having nine of us in one household can be a bit volatile,” Jongdae added. He stepped aside to continue the stroll. "We need the room to separate so we don't level a building." 

Your foot caught on an invisible lump in the grass. "You could destroy a building while fighting?" 

Minseok snickered as he caught your stumble and helped steady your stance. His hand lingered at your waist until your sharpened glare made him remove it. "We haven’t crumbled a wall in a few years."

You scoffed at the casual tone. "What sort of fight caused that?" 

"I can't remember." Minseok leaned forward slightly to look at Jongdae for help. But he didn't seem to recall either. 

"Who knows what started it between Chanyeol and Kyungsoo.”

Your mouth dropped open in shock. Kyungsoo and Chanyeol had fought over something to the point of destroying a wall to crumble? It didn't feel plausible. Neither seemed like the hot-headed sort. You wanted to know the igniting incident so desperately. 

Both Jongdae and Minseok suddenly whipped their heads towards the front of the manor. 

"What is it?" you asked when neither offered an explanation. 

"Junmyeon's calling for us." Jongdae scooped you up into his arms without warning. At your confused expression, he explained, "We're not leaving you alone out here." Remember your last adventure in the woods lingered in the silence.

The short lived wind whipped at your hair that you still wore loose to cover your neck. As soon as he stopped running, you wiggled out of his arms to be back on your feet. Everyone else was already gathered just outside the door. Several eyed you and Jongdae with suspicious and annoyed glares. You took a step away from him for some separation. 

Clearing his throat, Junmyeon called everyone to attention. "We have to go hunting–real hunting. Now, normally, we all go together, but now that we have our guest," he nodded towards you, "some will have to stay behind with her until the first party… comes back." 

"If you all need to go,” you couldn't quite speak the word feed, "then I'll be alright. For a few hours, at least." You weren't sure how long this excursion would take.

Junmyeon's features softened. "No. We'll go in groups. Chanyeol, Kyungsoo, Minseok and I will go first. We shouldn't be gone long." He reached out and patted the top of your head before disappearing into the trees. Kyungsoo gave no goodbye as he followed suit. The last two playfully shoved each other while taking off. 

"Come." Yixing took hold of your hand and started pulling you inside. "I want to show you something."

"But–" You had wanted to ask Jongdae a question, but the traitor was already gone, off somewhere to do something he would never tell you about. So, you let Yixing take you into the manor and up the main staircase at the end of the hallway. At least he let you stay on your own feet instead of insisting on going at his speed. 

Going down an unfamiliar hallway, you were reminded how big this place was and how much you still had to explore. The men occupied most of your time, vying for your attention and pulling you this way and that so you didn’t have much time on your own. It was odd and overwhelming at times. 

During your seasons in town, you were hardly a well-sought after prize. There were prettier girls with grander dowries. You had accepted that fact. Now you were the center of a courting dance to which you knew none of the steps and possessed endless partners. 

Yixing paused in front of a door that looked identical to all the others. He kept his fingers tight around yours as he slowly turned the knob with his free hand. The door swung open. 

The gasp inhaled through your parted lips wasn't enough to convey your awe. 

Maps of all the places you'd heard of and dozens more you hadn't covered the walls like homemade wallpaper. Slipping out of Yixing's grip, you walked further into the study, spinning slowly around to take it all in. The maps were varying degrees of tan, some as light as his skin, others as dark as animal leather. 

Instead of bookshelves, doorless cabinets waist high lined three of the walls. Their squared shelves were stuffed full of parchment and ink and quills. A lone sketcher's desk sat in the middle, an unfinished drawing laying against the tilted surface. 

"What is this place?"

"It's my personal study," Yixing answered as he laid a hand on the edge of the desk. "Kyungsoo gave it to me after I had accidentally taken over one of the parlors." 

Your awe increased ten-fold. Your initial assumption was that he was a collector, not the original artist. "You drew all of these?" 

He nodded almost... shyly. "I did. I was a cartographer. Before." 

"Before?" You understood what he meant, but you didn't know how to ask for the story. 

Turning his eyes to the parchment, he pinched it between his fingers. "I didn't just love traveling. I loved capturing it on paper. I wanted to make these places into art, but not like every other painting. I wanted them to be perfect. Exact replicas as if you were staying at them from God’s point of view. And I wanted to be the best. I couldn't be, though. I wasn’t good enough." 

You moved closer to him, entranced in the story. "What happened?"

A rueful smile tightened at his lips. "I was given a chance to become perfect. What I didn't know was that I traded everyone knowing my maps for the talent to make it happen." Sorrow rolled from him like the tide warning of an oncoming storm. 

Feeling the pull to comfort him, you reached out and covered his fidgeting hand with your own steady fingers.

"People will be able to know your work some day," you whispered. "I’m sure of it." 

Perhaps you had been a bit too forward, a bit too open. 

Yixing moved gracefully forward to eliminate most of the space between you. A smooth thumb that once must have been calloused when it was human caressed the edge of your jaw. His flickering eyes made intentions obvious. 

Clearing your throat, you stepped out of the touch. "Why isn't this one finished?" You pointed to the drawing on the desk. It was an aerial view of the manor, with the top half of the parchment containing the beginning edges of the garden hedges. Disappointed, Yixing sighed and went along with your distraction. 

"I'm still working out the maze. It is intricate. Much more than I was prepared for." 

"Goodness." You were thankful that you hadn't wandered in there yet, especially on your own.

"Yixing.” 

Both of you turned towards the door to find Sehun standing under the frame. 

"Yes, Sehun?" Yixing said through somewhat gritted teeth. The young vampire wasn't phased. 

"I need to speak with you." 

"Fine." None of you moved. 

Sehun looked at you with a pointed glare.

You received the hint loud and clear. "I'll leave you, then.” 

With more relief than you cared to admit, you scurried out of the room and down the hallway. 

Around the corner, you pressed your back against the wall and forced yourself to take deep breaths that filled your lungs to capacity. Panic had been the response at Yixing's closeness. You didn't mean for that to be the response. You didn't want to be closed off to any of them. But you couldn't help it. Maybe it was merely the closeness of the situation. 

Giving yourself a small amount of grace, you pushed off the wall and made your way downstairs. So used to your time being absorbed by the men that you weren't sure what to do with yourself. Two of the ones that remained behind were currently occupied. As for the three others, they could have been anywhere. 

You wandered around the main floor with a fleeting hope that one would come to find you. Then you saw them. A row of grand doors evenly spaced along the north wall called you forward.

The grand ballroom took your breath away. Not so dissimilar to the one in your dream, though this one’s lack of warmth and light left you heartbroken. Memories of dancing figures and lively music haunted these walls. In the corner, you could imagine a small orchestra strumming their instruments in delight. 

You walked to the center where dozens of pairs used to twirl and bow and embrace each other in time with the melody. Ghostly laughter echoed in your ears. What had once been  bright and golden and full of life was dull, dark, and covered in cobwebs that swayed in the breeze of unknown origin. 

Glancing around, you confirmed that you were truly alone before closing your eyes, lifting your arms, and began a soft hum. 

You danced with an invisible partner in the fashion that your grandfather had taught you as a small child. It was more intimate than the choreographed dances currently popularized. You had always imagined your first ball like this, instead of the disappointment you really experienced. You had pictured a boy you didn’t know catching your eye. As the music was struck up, he laid a hand on your waist.

Just like now. 

Hm. Your imagination was running wild, even pretending the weight of a palm was there on your lower back. And now in your lifted left hand. 

No. That wasn’t your imagination. 

Your eyes snapped open. 

Jongin had taken the place of your imagined partner. He smiled down at you with a feline smirk as his hands tightened around you, refusing to let you slip away. There was no choice in leaving this musicless dance. You had stopped humming but he continued to whirl you around the marble floor. He controlled the dance, in charge of every step. He led with an expertise he shouldn’t have possessed–if he were a man of this age. 

In one final move, he slipped his arm fully around your waist, pulling you so close that no room remained between you. Without breaking the spin, he lifted you from the floor as if you were no more than a kitten and whirled you around like the heroine from your favorite novel.

When the spin came to a close, he set you back on your feet, but didn’t let go. Your lungs heaved from the exercise–and from the way your bodies pressed together. Each rise of your chest brought you even closer to Jongin. He kept your gaze like a stablehand trying to calm a wild horse. His right hand slipped from your fingers, softly tracing the delicate inside of your arm. The touch left behind a fire you couldn’t explain. A cold, simmering fire.

He cupped your jaw as his eyes drifted down to your lips. This was a different reaction to Yixing’s wandering gaze. Not panic, but something similar. 

Jongin held you in place as he leaned down, his lips pressing gently into the corner of yours. The thin breath in your lungs hitched. He lifted his lips only to find a new patch of skin. The delicate skin covering your pulse. Every muscle in your body froze. He kissed the skin softly. Surely, he could feel the race of your blood. 

“Whenever you need a partner,” he said in a hush against your neck, “just whisper my name.”

And then, he was gone. 

You stared off at the empty path left behind Jongin. The sheer hubris.

His name lingered on your lips, wondering if he would really come back like he said. But you kept the whisper inside and left the ballroom just the same. 

[mybiasisexo]

Entangled - Part 8

Pairing: Chanyeol x f.Reader Chapter Warnings: Language   Word Count: 5k Author Notes: okay, I feel like this is lowkey a filler chapter 😭. but I like it so idk lmao. so much has happened since I last updated. I quit my old job, got a new one (that's kicking my ass. pray for me) had my bday and saw Beyonce 3 times!! but yeah as always sorry for the delay, hope you like the chapter and feel free to lmk what you thought!!! I loooove feedback and y'alls commentary!!! makes my damn day!! have fuuuuuun~!

You come to the following morning from what is possibly the best sleep you’ve gotten in years. A yawn escapes you as you stretch your tender body.

The action has you aware of something not moving around you, and you glance down to see a heavy arm thrown over your waist. As if the owner of the limb can sense your attention, it constricts, pulling you closer to a heat behind you.

Startled, you tense up, not even daring to breathe as you carefully roll onto your back and then turn your head the rest of the way until you’re knocking your nose gently against Chanyeol’s.

He’s in a deep slumber. Gentle snores leave his slightly parted lips, and his features are relaxed. He looks so peaceful, so serene, so…content. It melts your heart. You can’t help but stare at him, noticing the way his silky tawny hair falls across his pillow and the stubble poking out of his chin that grew in from the night before.

The night before….

Your eyes widen at the reminder and you’re sitting straight up, causing Chanyeol’s arm to fall limply on your lap.

Oh, you’ve really done it now.

Chanyeol stirs, and you think you’ve woken him, but he just rolls onto his other side, revealing his naked back to you.

Harsh rows of red raised skin catch your attention–the proof of how good a lover he is. Even though you know to some men, Chanyeol included, the scratches are a badge of honor, you only feel remorse from causing him pain.

His lack of clothing has you aware of your current state of undress and you quickly pull the thin sheet over your chest. It’s a silly action. Chanyeol’s sleeping, but even if he was awake, he’s seen your breasts plenty of times, had them in his goddamn mouth last night for christ’s sake.

Still, you must at least try to preserve some dignity.

You dare another glance at the man beside you, as if he’s a figment of your imagination that will vanish once you’re in your right mind. He doesn’t go away, so you must be really out of it.

Groaning, you drop your head, hitting your forehead repeatedly with the palm of your hand.

Idiot. Idiot. Idiot.

Fucking your ex fiance was the last thing you had planned to do on this trip. Getting closure? Sure. Making peace? The least you could have done. Now? Things have become even more complicated. Which is pretty impressive given everything that has transpired over the last couple days. And Yerim…. God, Yerim. She hasn’t even been gone twenty-four hours and you’ve already jumped her man’s bones. Sure, he was yours first, but it’s the principle of the thing.

Shit, maybe you are the problem.

As if you aren’t already about to dive in a pool of panic, a memory from the night before decides to reveal itself. The knowledge has you gasping, staring unseeingly ahead of you in terror.

Did you tell Chanyeol you loved him?

Oh, god. Oh, fuck.

Yeah, you gotta get out of here.

Feeling nauseous, you stumble out of the bed, crumbling to the ground the minute you put weight on your legs. Your bambi legs are a byproduct of Chanyeol’s pleasurable menstrations, having you literally weak in the knees. You shake your head and push through the slight throbbing of your core, standing carefully on shaky legs. Chanyeol chooses this moment to toss back around so that he’s facing you again. The arm that was around you earlier flops forward to reclaim its position, but lands on egyptian cotton instead. His eyebrows scrunch together as his hand idly runs over the empty space–searching for you. Feeling bad, you pull down a pillow. His fingers find it and yank it towards him, curling into it like a toddler with his favorite teddy bear. Your name leaves his mouth in a content breath, and all the turmoil in you dissipates for a moment. Maybe you’re overreacting? Yerim won’t be too mad, right? And Chanyeol still wants you, right? Last night meant something to him?

Did it mean something to you?

You can’t even think about that right now. Truth is you have no idea where you stand, and are even more confused than before the wedding. You’ve blurred the lines and anything can mean anything.

What you do know is that you need to leave, and you need to do it before Chanyeol wakes up. You can’t face him right now, not before you understand your emotions and actions.

“Focus,” you order yourself. You scan the floor that is now a mess of discarded garments, and a shimmer of gold catches your eye. You snatch it up, only to find it’s Chanyeol’s tie. You stare at it, remembering the way he demanded you to undress him, and drop it like it shocked you, shivering from the memory. That is definitely not what you’re looking for. 

There. A little further you find your dress and underwear. You slide them on quickly, not bothering to zip up your dress. You’re only going a few doors down, so you only hold it against your chest.

Despite telling yourself to focus, you can’t stop thinking about your confession. Obviously it was the lust speaking, the nostalgia. Yeah, that’s all that was.

Chanyeol never said it back.

The epiphany straightens your back, and you startle as you lock eyes with yourself in the floor length mirror directly in front of you. The woman before you is tragic, her hair poofy and stiff, eyes rimmed black, face puffy and nose still red from crying. You look like the clown you are.

You shudder, truly haunted, and head out. You pause by the door to slip into your shoes and grab your purse. Your heels have a buckle, but you can’t risk wasting any more time, so you don’t bother securing them. 

You open the door and a choir of angels begin to sing.

Their joyous voices die with a record scratch at the sight of Byun Baekhyun standing on the opposite end, fist up as though he’s about to knock.

You can’t catch a break.

He takes you in, visibly shocked. He says your name in a dramatic loaded question and you wince at his volume, bouncing off the walls. Damn, this is not good.

“What are you doing here?” He asks accusingly.

You quickly peek over your shoulder, checking to see if your new visitor is loud enough to wake Chanyeol. He doesn’t stir, and you can’t fight the pride that blooms in you. You wore that man out!

Shaking the emotion off, you turn back to Mr. Loud Mouth in front of you.

“Hush,” you hiss, shoving him back with the arm not currently holding both your dress, and what little you have left of your sanity, together. You make sure the door closes with a gentle ‘click’ before grabbing Baekhyun’s arm, dragging him the couple doors down to your suite. He yelps and asks where you’re ‘kidnapping’ him. It’s easy to ignore his helpless cries with the obnoxious sound of your heels slapping against your feet. 

Once in front of your door, you dig through your purse for your key, forgetting you didn’t secure your dress. The top half flutters down, titties basking in the breeze.

You freeze, eyes closing tightly as you bite your bottom lip so hard you think you’re going to bite it off. Your only saving grace is that Baekhyun is behind you, obscuring his view of your private bits.

You hear him huff in annoyance before he’s brushing your hair out of the way, gathering your dress, zipping it up as far as it can go with your arms not in the sleeves.

“Thank you,” you whisper, face burning in shame. Dejectedly, you find the key and get you both in. You kick your clacky shoes off, not wanting to draw unwanted attention, and lead Baekhyun to your room. You rest your forehead against the door as you close it, giving yourself a moment to just breathe.

Once you’ve deluded yourself into thinking you’re good, you turn around and face your friend. He’s taken residence in your vanity chair, searching your frazzled figure with worry. You can only imagine what you must look like from his point of view.

Finally, he musters the courage to speak. “You look….”

“I don’t want to hear it.”

“Okay…. Would you care to explain why you were running out of Chanyeol’s room like you robbed him? In your wedding clothes, no less, first thing this morning?”

You rub your eyes. To be honest, no, you didn’t want to have this conversation. Especially with Baekhyun. No offense to the guy, you adore him, but he’s not really known for taking things seriously. Except… right now it does appear he’s taking this situation very seriously. Although there is a hint of playfulness in his tone, you can’t see any of it on his face, only genuine concern.

Defeated, you sigh and march to your bed, plopping down onto the edge to bury your face in your hands.

“We had sex.”

“Really? I couldn’t tell,” he answers sarcastically. You glare at him through your fingers. He grins in reply, but it’s soft, reassuring, letting you know that everything will be okay.

It slips from his face as a thought occurs to him. “You weren’t drunk, were you?”

You shake your head and he lets out a relieved breath.

“Quite the opposite. It was probably the most sober decision I’ve made this whole trip.”

“So, what went wrong?”

“I just….” You recall your confession and wince, stomach flipping with embarrassment. “We ended up running into each other in the elevator and went to his room. We were only supposed to talk. But, I don’t know. You know the wedding was a lot for us both. And this trip has been very stressful and tense and we haven’t been alone since we got here and maybe that was for good reason because obviously we couldn’t handle that if–”

“You’re rambling,” he interrupts.

You take a deep breath. 

“I told him I loved him,” you push out before you can regret admitting it. It sounds even worse spoken out loud.

“And?” He asks, skeptically.

You blink in surprise at his reply. “And he, well, he didn’t say it back.”

You avoid his gaze and bring your knees to your chest and nibble on your thumbnail anxiously, waiting for Baekhyun’s response to the new detail. You must have rendered him speechless, because he remains silent. Either that, or he’s trying to figure out the best way to let you down on Chanyeol’s behalf. That makes you stiffen your shoulders, bracing yourself for the cold dose of reality. It never comes, and his lack of response drags until you think you’re going to explode.

Finally, you whip your head up to him exasperatedly just to see him looking at you like you’re the dumbest bitch he’s ever seen.

“What?” You snap, hating how condescending his expression is.

He rolls his eyes at your tone and lets out a laugh coated in disbelief, rubbing his forehead. “I love you, but you’re stupid.”

“I know,” you sulk, pouting as you rest your chin on your knees. “I wasn’t thinking straight, obviously. I got too caught up in the moment. Being with him like that, it brought me back to the good ol’ days, when we were falling in love. But, we’re not in college anymore. We’re not the same people we were when we were together.”

You furrow your brows, really trying to untangle your thoughts. It’s a lot easier to do with someone to look at.

“That’s what it is. I mean, how can I still love a man I don’t know? I can still have lingering feelings for the man I used to know, though. Maybe having sex was a good thing? All that leftover tension between us can finally rest. Yeah, that’s what last night was–left over tension. Now that we’ve done the deed, we should be good now. Sure, we still need to have a talk, there’s still some things we need to address to fully move on, but I think the hardest part has passed.”

You search your friend’s face for the right answer. “Right?”

His lips thin and then he’s sighing. “Do you want to know what I think?”

You nod miserably, thoughts too chaotic to decipher any logic.

Baekhyun stands up and walks over to you, reaching out to rub your arms comfortingly. In a gentle murmur he says, “I think you need some breakfast.”

A surprised chuckle leaves you as you lean forward, resting your forehead against his stomach. “You’re probably right.”

You relax under his touch, and you both stay like that. His hands go from your shoulders to your back, rubbing soothing circles onto your skin. The repetitive trail makes you drowsy.

The door swings open.

“I thought I heard you co–OH MY GOD!”

Seulgi stands dumbfounded at the door, the hand not frozen on your door knob covers her hanging jaw. Shock coloring her face as she takes in the compromising sight before her.

Baekhyun stumbles quickly away from you, tripping over his feet in his haste.

“It's not what it looks like!” You defend. That’s literally the worst line you can possibly say to her.

“What the hell!” She squeaks. “What the fuck is happening right now!?”

“We were just about to get something to eat!” Baekhyun says, as if that explains anything.

“HUH?!” Seulgi starts fanning her reddening face. She turns to you, not even going to humor him. “Look, I know this weekend has been rough for you. I understand you wanting to distract yourself by getting underneath someone. But, to sleep with Baekhyun of all people–”

“Hey!” The man in question barks. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Seulgi, please,” you beg. Crawling off the bed, you stumble over to her. “That’s not what happened at all!”

Your words go through one ear and out the other as she glares at Baekhyun, who’s shivering in his metaphorical boots under her judging stare. “I can’t believe you would do this! Chanyeol is your best friend! Do you not care how this will affect him when he finds out?”

“We didn’t do anything,” you plead.

“Then explain what I just walked into! Explain why you look a damn mess! And are those–are those hickeys?”

“I HAD SEX WITH CHANYEOL!” You yell in her face.

“I–wait, what?” You can see the internal conversation she’s having with herself as she tries to comprehend what you just confessed to her. When your words have meaning, a look of sheer horror contorts her lovely features.

“You didn’t.” Her voice is low, threateningly so.

You gnaw at your bottom lip, even more anxious than when Baekhyun was questioning you. 

Your silence is an admission and she yells your name accusingly.

“I know!” You agree. “Please, I know!”

“I don’t understand. How? Why? I thought you were over him, or at least trying to be. I–”

“Hey,” Baekhyun cuts her off, joining your little party. He rests a hand on her shoulder. “Let’s let her take a shower and get into some clothes that don’t have cum stains on them. Then we can get breakfast. She can explain everything then.”

“There’s no cum on my dress,” you mumble with a frown.

“I know Chanyeol’s kinks,” Baekhyun says. You huff in defeat.

Seulgi’s cat shaped eyes bounce back and forth between you both skeptically. You can see all the questions she has running through her pretty head.

“Alright,” she reluctantly agrees. “Hurry and get ready. I’m starving.”

You have a feeling it’s not food she’s hungry for.

Baekhyun leads her out of your room, throwing you an apologetic look, and you wonder how many more times he’s going to look at you like that.

Nearly an hour later, you find yourself in a little unassuming mom and pop restaurant. Baekhyun’s grandmother lives on the island, so he knows all the local hot spots. The ajumma serving you is absolutely thrilled to see him, promising to put a bit more love in your food, which you can definitely taste upon your first bite. It is exactly what you need after the active night you’ve had.

“Yerim made it home safely,” Seulgi informs, not glancing up from her plate as she does.

Your lips thin at the mention of her sister, knowing she’s bringing her up on purpose.

You didn’t need her reminder. Yerim has been on your mind all morning.

“Yeah?” You finally answer. “Glad to hear. I’m sure she’ll hate me for good once she finds out what I did right after she left.”

“She’ll get over it,” Baekhyun is quick to dismiss.

“She’ll forgive you,” Seulgi allows. “But she’ll never forget.”

Leaning back, she finally gives you a sharp look. “What happened last night anyway?”

Luckily, you just so happen to scoop some food into your mouth when she asks that, so you take advantage and slow down your chewing. Aiming to enjoy every last bit, because you know it’s going to be the last time you’ll be able to. You swallow it down with some water, for good measure, taking your time chugging it empty. 

Seulgi watches in amusement, knowing what game you’re playing.

“Well,” you start, scratching behind your ear. “As you both already know, Chanyeol and I hooked up last night.”

“Hooked up?” Seulgi clarifies incredulously. It’s an interesting choice of words to describe what the two of you did.

Beside her, Baekhyun shakes his head, but keeps his opinions to himself, allowing you the floor.

“Yeah. And I want to say, for the record, that it was spontaneous. We just so happened to bump into each other when I was on my way back to the room. He asked me if I wanted to go to his room instead and I said yes–innocently! We were planning on just talking. And I mean, we did talk a bit?”

“Did you talk about Yerim?” Seulgi asks.

“No….” You avoid her stare and sink into your chair.

“Did you talk about your breakup?”

“No….”

Her eyes narrow. “So, what did you talk about?”

“About the wedding,” you answer like it’s obvious.

“And now it all makes sense.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” You pout.

“The two of you have been tiptoeing around each other all weekend. I thought it was just the awkwardness of seeing an ex–in your case, an ex dating your friend. But I misread it. Now it’s pretty obvious that if it weren’t for Yerim, you would’ve probably slept with him sooner. It wasn’t awkwardness I felt, it was tension…the sexual kind.”

Your frown deepens. Were you seriously that weak? You thought you did a pretty damn good job resisting Chanyeol, but it only took three days to fall into his sheets. That wasn’t very strong of you at all. Seulgi is right. Yerim was the main reason for you keeping your distance, not your pride or your past. She had only been gone a few hours before you gave into him.

“Does that make me a terrible person?” You quietly ask.

“I don’t think so,” Baekhyun answers simply, shrugging when you lock eyes.

“It doesn’t,” Seulgi agrees, although she lets out a tired sigh right after. “But I still don’t understand why? It’s been years, girl, and you’ve never mentioned him once in that time. It’s been a while since you got laid, and even longer since it was with Chanyeol. Old habits die hard, and you didn’t get the closure you wanted, but sleeping with your ex seems so out of character for you.”

“He’s not just some ex, Seulgi,” Baekhyun intervenes. “He’s her ex fiance, and they didn’t break up on bad terms, necessarily. There’s still love there.”

“I wouldn’t go that far,” you interject, shifting in your seat uncomfortably. 

“So, it was just an old attraction? Old habits and all that?” Seulgi asks.

“I think so,” you say and she seems to melt in relief. “I think it was just left over sexual tension, and now that we’ve got it out of our system, we can be normal. We can move on.”

Baekhyun doesn’t seem convinced. “And you’re sure Chanyeol will agree with you?”

You shrug. “I don’t see why not. It was just sex.”

“It’s never ‘just sex’ with Chanyeol, and you know that. Especially when it comes to you.”

“You’d be surprised,” you mutter, mood dampening at the memory.

He doesn’t hear you. “And I know you’re lying. Didn’t you tell him you loved him last night?”

You glare at Baekhyun and he answers it with a smug smile, knowing he just set you up.

“You did what now?” Seulgi asks deadpan.

Internally you wince. “I might have told him I loved him while in the throes of passion.”

She says your name disapprovingly. 

“And you know what? He didn’t say it back. So, you see? It was nothing more than physical for him as well.”

Seulgi looks as though she has some words for you, but Baekhyun beats her to the punch.

“You both drive me insane,” he groans. “It’s obvious you both still care about each other, what’s the point of trying to talk yourself out of it? It’s never too late to try again, and trust me when I say Chanyeol wants to more than anything. He’s already asked you for a second chance. He wants this! He wants you!”

“He said all that when he was drunk off his mind, Baekhyun.”

“Doesn’t make it any less true!”

You groan and lean your head back against your chair, feeling the pressure of the world falling onto your shoulders. It hits you then, the weight of Chanyeol’s affection, and for a moment you’re back on that sidewalk, drowning in it. You remember why you left, remember the moment your love for him twisted into something dark. Chanyeol said you told him you hate him. Truth is, you had. With him back in your life, you forgot about that, forgot that there was another reason why you were trying to avoid him. Again, everything is even more confusing, and you find yourself at a total loss of what to do next.

“It’s okay to feel overwhelmed by that,” Seulgi reassures. She knows you way more than you give her credit far. “Everything is happening so fast. You don’t have to make a decision right now, and honestly, I don’t think it’s wise for you to.”

You lift your head back up and take in your concerned friends. With the way they’re both sitting on either side of each other before you, it’s almost like they’re the angel and devil on your shoulders. One speaks for your heart, while the other speaks for your mind. Holding onto each of your hands and yanking you back and forth like a rope in tug-o-war. 

“I don’t know the right answer,” you whisper, feeling your eyes water in frustration.

“Whatever’s going to make you happy,” Baekhyun answers simply.

You cough a laugh and a tear escapes, but you’re quick to wipe it away.

“I think,” Seulgi begins, reaching over and grabbing your hand. “You should give each other space, and wait until you’re back in Seoul. It’s only a couple days, and it’ll give both of you time to figure out what exactly it is you want from each other. Do you have an idea of what that is? Is it a relationship? Closure? Or just physical connection?”

“I’m not sure,” you admit.

She tilts her head and raises her eyebrows. You understand. She’s right.

“That’s probably the best idea,” you relent.

Baekhyun grunts in disgust. “Doesn’t Chanyeol deserve a say in this?”

“Of course he does,” you say.

“But that’s a conversation for later,” Seulgi intrudes. “Preferably with others around.”

You lift your hands up in defeat. 

Now that your problem has been solved for now, you all go back to eating in a comfortable silence. Everything still tastes amazing, thank fuck.

Suddenly, Baekhyun straightens and turns to Seulgi. “What did you mean earlier anyways? When you said me of all people?”

She scoffs. “Besides the fact that you’re a weirdo? You’re Chanyeol’s best friend. If you had slept together, it would be the deepest betrayal to him. But, if she had slept with any of you, my reaction would be the same. The only other person I could possibly see her with is Sehun, and even then….”

“Ew,” you both finish.

“I love all of you,” you say. “But not like that.”

“It’s the same for me too!” Baekhyun admits. “I would never do that to Chanyeol, because I would never do that, period. Don’t ever put that disgusting idea in anyone’s head again!”

“No problem!” Seulgi says, resolute.

You finish breakfast soon after that and leave for the hotel. Today is the first day of your little             reunion tour. Sehun figured that everyone would be too hungover to do anything that required movement, so you’re all just going to hang out at the beach and watch the sunset. Sounds like the perfect Sunday to you.

You all left your phones in the car, so the first thing you do once buckled up is check your notifications, reading the texts in the groupchat confirming some of the others were heading out to the beach and the location they chose. Baekhyun winces as he scans his device, catching your attention. When you lock eyes, he gives you that pitiful smile, almost like a warning, before turning his screen for you to read. It’s filled with texts and missed calls from Chanyeol.

“Oh boy,” is all you can muster, trying not to linger too much on the only message you can read: ‘please. I’m begging’.

“What’s up?” Seulgi asks from the backseat. Baekhyun proceeds to show her his phone and she shakes her head in dismay.

“Should I call him?” He asks.

“No,” you’re quick to reply. Avoiding his gaze, you settle into your seat, staring blindly out the windshield. You feel him watching you for a moment before sighing and starting the car, pulling out to drive you back to the hotel.

The elevator ride is long. You wonder if Chanyeol will be in the hallway when it opens. Baekhyun leans against the wall, rapidly firing off texts the whole way up. It takes everything in you not to ask him what he’s telling Chanyeol to calm him down. 

The doors open, and you’re both relieved and crushed to enter an empty hall. Baekhyun walks you both to your room, which is polite, but you all know is a front. His room isn’t on this floor, and you don’t need him to walk you back.

“Where are you going?” You can’t help but to ask.

He grins guiltily and nudges his head towards Chanyeol’s room. “I’m going to check on him. That’s why I came up here in the first place.”

“Right….”

He pats your shoulder. “Get ready and head down to the beach. I’m sure you got Jongdae’s text in the groupchat. Both him and Jongin are already setting up camp.”

“Don’t take too long,” Seulgi says in farewell before pulling you into the suite.

As soon as the door closes, she’s holding you by the shoulders, staring deep into your eyes. “You can’t go back on your word now.”

“I’m not,�� you say, cringing as the way it sounds like a lie.

Her grip on you tightens. “It’s all going to work out. Don’t get all sulky.”

“I’m not.”

She smiles. “You’re such a terrible liar. It’s kind of cute.”

“Stop flirting with me,” you sigh, grabbing her hands to hold them instead. “I’m going to take your advice. We need space.”

“Space,” she repeats approvingly, rubbing your knuckles with her thumbs.

Banging on your door causes you both to jump.

“Yeol, stop it! I already told you they’re not there!”

“I need to know for sure.”

You swallow thickly at the sound of Chanyeol’s voice.

You hear Baekhyun sigh and then Chanyeol call your name, which jerks you closer to the door. Seulgi grips your hands harder, holding you back. You lock eyes. She shakes her head in warning.

“Are you in there?” He pauses briefly, waiting for you to reply. You hold your breath, afraid in the silence he can hear your heart’s rapid beating. “Please, open the door, Mel. I just… I just need to see you.”

His voice is calm, but alarmed, as if he’s trying not to sound as desperate as he feels. He knocks again, the reps urgent, giving away the worry he’s trying to disguise.

“I just need you to tell me everything’s okay.” Now his voice cracks.

Fuck it. You can’t avoid him forever. You go to open the door, but Seulgi’s hold is surprisingly strong and you can’t break it.

“Space, remember?” She whispers.

You didn’t know that started now. 

Reluctantly, you relax, leaning your head on Seulgi’s shoulder. She wraps her arms around you, rubbing your back as you wait for Baekhyun to do his job in getting Chanyeol away.

“I can’t do this again, man,” Chanyeol’s broken voice comes through the door. “I can’t lose her again. Not like this.”

“I know, Dude.” Baekhyun sounds just as helpless, and a wave of guilt washes over you from putting him in this position. “But, she’s not in there. Let’s go to my room so I can change. It won’t take long, so don’t even think of ditching me!”

A silence drags on for so long you’re sure they’ve left. 

“Chanyeol?” Baekhyun urges.

“I–okay. Let’s go.”

You hear them retreat and let out a breath.

Seulgi whistles. “Quite the mess you’ve made.”

You swallow the lump in your throat. “You can say that again.”

“Hey,” She rubs your arm. “He’s going to be fine. Let’s change. I’m sure you’re now very eager to get down there.”

You let her lead you to your room. The whole time you can’t get over the pain in Chanyeol’s voice, a pain that you caused.

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[lunaflowers]

making up (yandere!chanyeol)

pairing: yandere!chanyeol x reader word count: 1.7k genre: smut, angst, yandere synopsis: after an especially violent punishment, chanyeol decides that he wants to make things up to you warnings: yandere, abuse, past physical abuse, cunnilingus, dom!chanyeol, sub!reader, daddy kink, stockholm syndrome, victim blaming a/n: this is a yandere story, meaning it contains many dark elements. please heed the warnings and don't read this fic if this type of content makes you uncomfortable. i do not condone the behavior exhibited in this fic and i don't believe the member(s) featured would either.

☆*: .｡. o🖤o .｡.:*☆

You stretched out your bare legs, examining the faint purple and blue marks littered across them. They were only just becoming visible, just as Chanyeol said they would. You knew he hadn’t meant to leave you so bruised up, he never meant to. He was just so passionate, so full of emotion and it burst out of him in unexpected, violent ways at times. He couldn’t help it.

Besides, you were no angel either. You could be difficult, stubborn, selfish. It’s what Chanyeol said to you constantly. He repeated the words with venom on his lips whenever you made him angry. It was your fault he had to get violent with you, your fault he had to discipline you, your fault for being such a bitch, a cunt, for acting like a slut, for being too friendly with his group members, for meeting up with your friends behind his back. It was always you who did something to provoke such a reaction from him.

You heard the door to the apartment being unlocked, and you quickly covered your legs with your long skirt. Chanyeol didn’t like being reminded of what he’d done to you during one of his violent fits and you didn’t want to upset him again.

Your boyfriend entered holding a single rose in one hand, and his keys in the other. You got up to greet him and when you did he held the flower out to you, head down, almost shyly, like a teenager confessing to his crush for the first time.

“For you,” he mumbled, and you took it with a grin, taking a whiff of the flower while he closed the door behind him, locking it securely. The door locked from the inside as well as the outside for your protection, according to Chanyeol. From deranged saesangs to run-of-the-mill paparazzi, who knew what kind of trouble you could run into if you were out in the world, all by yourself. Chanyeol wanted to protect you from all that. He was always so considerate of your safety and you were so grateful to him for it.

“Thank you,” you said, as he pulled you into his arms, squashing you in one of his signature Chanyeol cuddles, lifting you off the ground slightly and putting you back down again. His large body enveloped you completely and there was nowhere in the world you felt safer.

“I’m so sorry, baby,” he said, breathing warmly into your neck, “I lost my temper again and… I shouldn’t have let myself take it that far.” He pulled back and locked his large eyes with yours. “Will you forgive me?”

You could see in his face how awful he felt, how he’d been beating himself up over what he’d done to you. Despite his flaws, he was a good person. And he loved you dearly, more than anyone ever had or would, you knew that. 

“Of course,” you said, and you saw his face light up with a smile. He kissed you on the mouth, lifting you up again as he did so and spinning you around. You couldn’t help but smile too, breaking the kiss and letting out a little giggle.

“I’m gonna make it up to you,” he said mischievously, putting you down and grabbing you around the wrist, pulling you towards the bedroom that the two of you shared.

“Right now?”

He didn’t say a word as he began to pull your skirt and top off and pushed you onto the bed. You had no bra on, and you lay there in front of him in nothing but a pair of panties. He eyed you up and down. You could see his eyes lingering on the burgeoning bruises that were everywhere and you felt suddenly self-conscious.  You knew he loved your body but you hated him seeing you like some broken little doll.

Before you had a chance to speak, Chanyeol reached out and touched one of the bruises on your thighs lightly, a look of regret on his face.

“It’s okay,” you said, pulling yourself up onto your elbows. You wanted to assuage his guilt in any way that you could. “It doesn’t hurt much.”

“I know you’re trying to make me feel better,” he said, still running his fingers softly over one of your bruises. “But even so, I really hate it when you fucking lie to me.” He wrapped his large hand around your thigh and dug his thumb into a particularly dark purple patch there and you yelped in pain.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” you cried out, and Chanyeol released his grip on your leg. 

“Did it hurt?”

You nodded, tears filling your eyes. 

“Good,” he said, kneeling down between your legs. “That’s what happens when you lie to me. About anything.” He pulled your panties down your legs and threw them on the ground beside him. He then pulled your legs apart and stared close up at your already soaked cunt.

“Dirty girl,” he smirked, “You like it when I hurt you, don’t you?” He was running his fingers up and down your folds, spreading your wetness around.

“Yes,” you admitted, shamefaced.

In response to this, Chanyeol gave your pussy a smack that made you cry out in a mix of pain and pleasure.

“You fucked up little whore,” Chanyeol continued with another sharp smack. “You know that this pussy was made to be used and abused by me, right?”

“Uh-huh,” you said, shakily.

“I can’t fucking hear you,” Chanyeol said, sticking two of this long fingers into your cunt at the same time. God knows you were wet enough but it still stung a little.

“Yes Chanyeol,” you said, breathlessly, “My pussy was made for you.”

“Good girl.” He began kissing you up your thigh while kneading your breasts with his hands. He kept using his lips and tongue around your cunt, but not on it.  Every time he would get close, he would move away again. You could feel yourself getting more and more aroused and were starting to feel resentful of the way he was teasing you.

“Chan…” you said, breathless with desire. “Don’t torture me here.”

He stopped, removing his lips from your outer labia and for a second you wondered if you’d annoyed him before you heard him chuckle.

“Oh? Is my baby feeling eager? Does she want daddy to eat her slutty pussy and make her feel good?”

So that was it. He wanted you to call him daddy. You hated it, and he knew how much you hated it and honestly it seemed to turn him on that you hated it so much, degrading you by making you say it.

“Yes…” you said, the word daddy catching in your throat. “Sir.” You hoped it would be enough, but really you knew he would get what he wanted. Chanyeol always got what he wanted.

“Hmm, I don’t think you want it bad enough, kitten,” he said, blowing cool air on your clit, making you feel the absence of him even more.

“Nooo,” you protested, “I do want it… daddy.” You said the last word hesitantly and he smirked. 

“Sorry, I couldn’t hear you. What was that again? Does my baby want daddy to eat her slutty pussy or not?” Chanyeol asked devilishly, while inserting one finger into you and taking it out again after a few pumps.

“Daddy,” you said, louder this time, while moaning out at the intrusion, “Please… I want you to eat my slutty pussy, daddy,” you repeated the word for good measure. It was becoming slightly more comfortable on your tongue now, or perhaps you were just that desperate.

Chanyeol smiled, “You’re so pretty when you’re obedient. I’ll give you what you want, baby.” He leaned forward and made contact with your clit for the first time, licking it and then suckling it gently.

You moaned, arching your back as Chanyeol kept on at it. He was so talented with his mouth and tongue, so attuned to your body, hitting every spot that made you whimper and whine.

“Daddy, oh daddy…” you moaned out, not feeling an ounce of shame anymore. All you wanted was for Chanyeol to keep doing what he was doing and you’d say anything to make sure he did.

“Yes princess?,” he said, in between licks and suckles.

“I- I’m just… That feels so good,” you replied, completely out of sorts. 

He reached up and grabbed one of your hands, interlacing his finger with yours as he continued to eat you out. You were squeezing it with all your might as the pleasure between your legs grew, but he didn’t seem to feel a thing.

“Oh, god, yes, Daddy…” you mewled. The way you were crying out was making him more ravenous. It was animalistic, his want for you. He became sloppier, harsher. He inserted two fingers into your cunt, finding your sweet spot immediately. God, he was so fucking good at knowing your body.

Your hips were bucking desperately now and Chanyeol had to let go of your hand, using his own to grab one of your hips and hold it down. You were so close, so close, to your orgasm and you could only hope that Chanyeol wasn’t in the mood to edge you today. You didn’t think you could handle it.

“Daddy!” You almost shouted, on the verge of desperation now,”I’m gonna cum. You’re gonna make me cum…”

Chanyeol responded to this by redoubling his efforts, groaning into your clit as he finger fucked you. “Come, princess, I wanna taste it.”

It was only a few more seconds before you reached your climax, your body tensing and then releasing so that you could feel it in every inch of your body. You convulsed slightly, the pleasure so powerful. Chanyeol watched from his vantage point between your legs, your breasts shaking as you did.

He got up and got onto the bed with you as you came down from your high, wrapping you in his arms once again. He kissed you on the forehead and cheek, pulling the comforter of the both of you.

“Thanks, Chanyeol,” you said, now that you were back in your right senses.

He smirked and kissed you again. “Everything’s going to be good from now on,” he said, “You’re gonna be a good girl and you won’t make me do bad things to you, right?”

“I’ll be good,” you said, both to him and yourself. You knew you needed to be better. You hate the way you provoked him.

“I know,” Chanyeol said, with nothing but sweetness in his voice. “Because if you don’t, I’ll have to bruise that pretty face of yours up too.”

☆*: .｡. o🖤o .｡.:*☆

[proudahgase-exol]

Threesome? Hottest girlfriend / wife……

Chanyeol x reader ft. Baekhyun and Sehun

Summary: Baekhyun wants to have a threesome with chanyeol and his girlfriend and says she’s the hottest girlfriend/ wife among the exo partners.

(This is a short one)

[fairyixingstuff]

Olá! Vocês conhecem a minha fanfic de cowboys?

Na Colina é uma história de amor proibido entre dois cowboys que escrevi durante três anos e que agora se tornará ficbook!

Formulário de interesse ♡ Fanfic no Spirit ♡ Fanfic no Wattpad ♡ Fanfic no AO3 🫶🏻🤎

Não percam o primeiro ficbook de cowboys do ficdom do EXO! 🫶🏻

[yeolsaintlaurent]

Nocturnal Reverie ch.12 [PCY]

pairing - chanyeol x fem reader

genre - mature, smut, angst

themes - power imbalance, romance, crime, justice, class divide, politics, sex

synopsis - In the sprawling, dystopian city of Emberhaven, where power and corruption reign supreme, the lives of two unlikely individuals collide in a tale of passion, intrigue, and moral reckoning. Chanyeol, an enigmatic and wealthy scion of the city's elite, finds himself captivated by the elusive Y/N, a cunning and resourceful thief who navigates the treacherous underworld of Emberhaven. Their first encounter, sparked by a chance meeting in a luxurious club called The Velvet Lounge, sets the stage for a whirlwind romance amidst a backdrop of crime, politics, and danger.

A/N - I started an internship and couldn't for the life of me find the tiniest sliver of time to focus on my hobbies. On one hand I am so so fucking happy and grateful that I have this amazing opportunity, at my dream organization, in the most perfect lab - but my social life and personal life have taken a major hit. I had this chapter and the next one ready for months and it's been sooo fucking frustrating not being able to upload. But hey...here they are now. Thank you for sticking around, my dearest readers. I love you guys so much!!

Chapter 12: Countdown, baby

8:00 PM 

Chanyeol stepped into the Velvet Lounge, the familiar atmosphere washing over him like a cold drink on a hot day. The clink of glasses, the low hum of jazz in the background, and the faint buzz of conversation filled the dimly lit space. The Lounge was a haven of sorts—a place where deals were made in the shadows and secrets were shared over bourbon. It was a place where power didn’t come from being seen, but from knowing who wasn’t supposed to be seen.

Kyungsoo was already at the bar when Chanyeol spotted him, his usual calm demeanor betraying nothing of the gravity of the situation they were about to discuss. A glass of bourbon on the rocks sat in front of him, untouched. Chanyeol walked over, his tall frame making him stand out even in the subdued ambiance. He greeted Kyungsoo with a curt nod and sat down, motioning for the bartender to bring him a drink as well.

"What's going on?" Chanyeol asked, his voice low but direct.

Kyungsoo glanced around before speaking, his eyes sharp as they scanned the room for any unwanted attention. "Minseok's been digging into Lucio’s movements, and there’s been some... troubling developments," he began, his voice steady but tinged with a hint of concern. "One of the brownstone townhouses, which he now knows was Y/N's residence, went up in flames earlier today. Minseok suspects it wasn’t an accident."

Chanyeol stiffened. He had already been on edge after the events of the past few days, but this was different. He could feel it in the pit of his stomach. "And Y/N? What does Minseok think about her involvement in all this?"

Kyungsoo sighed, taking a slow sip of his drink before answering. "Minseok still considers her a suspect, especially with her connection to the raid. He believes Lucio might be using her, and there’s reason to think she’s still involved, even if indirectly."

"That’s bullshit, and you know it," Chanyeol snapped, his voice barely above a growl. His hands clenched into fists at the bar, knuckles white. "Y/N has nothing to do with Lucio. She’s innocent in all of this. She just... she got caught up in the wrong place at the wrong time."

Kyungsoo met Chanyeol’s gaze, his eyes narrowing. "And how exactly do you know that? How are you so sure?"

Chanyeol exhaled sharply, running a hand through his hair as he fought to keep his temper in check. "She told me everything—about how she ended up at the raid, about the fire, all of it. She’s been through hell, and the last thing she needs is more suspicion. She’s staying with me now. I’m looking out for her.” he says through gritted teeth.

For a moment, Kyungsoo’s expression softened, but the edge of skepticism remained. "Look, I want to believe you, dude. But you know how these things work. People get involved with dangerous men like Lucio in ways they don’t even realize. I just…don’t want you to get blindsided."

Chanyeol leaned forward, his voice dropping to a dangerous whisper. "I’m not blinded. I love her, Kyungsoo. I won’t let anything happen to her."

There was a heavy silence between them, the weight of Chanyeol’s words hanging in the air. Finally, Kyungsoo nodded, his face unreadable. "Alright. But we need to be smart about this. I’m with you, but we need to tread carefully."

9:00 PM 

The two men sat quietly at the bar, the low light casting shadows across their faces as they pored over the files Kyungsoo had brought with him. A thick folder sat between them, filled with information on Chanyeol’s father’s criminal legacy—things Chanyeol had only heard whispers of until now.

Kyungsoo flipped open one of the folders, revealing detailed reports on Lucio and Dom—two names that had haunted Chanyeol for as long as he could remember. These weren’t just enemies; they were remnants of his father’s empire, lingering like a dark cloud over everything he’d tried to build since his father’s death.

"Lucio was one of your father’s top enforcers," Kyungsoo said, tapping a grainy black-and-white photo of Lucio from years ago. "When your father fell, Lucio went rogue. He started building his own network, but he’s been keeping a low profile—until recently. Now, he’s making moves, and from what I can tell, Y/N got caught in the crossfire."

Chanyeol’s jaw tightened as he scanned the reports. There was a photo of Dom, his father’s closest confidante, smiling beside Lucio at some old gala event. "Why was Dom involved with Lucio?" Chanyeol muttered, flipping through the pages.

"Dom was your father’s right-hand man. He handled all the operations your father didn’t want to dirty his hands with. Lucio was just a tool for them both—a violent, unpredictable tool," Kyungsoo explained. "But after your father’s death, everything changed. Dom disappeared, Lucio took over parts of the operation, and now... now it seems like they’re both back in the game."

The implications of it all weighed heavily on Chanyeol. His father’s sins were still haunting him, and now, they were threatening the woman he loved.

As Chanyeol turned another page, a photo of Dom slid out from the file, landing on the bar. His fingers froze. Suho, who had been silently polishing glasses nearby, suddenly stopped mid-motion. His eyes locked onto the photo, his expression shifting from casual bartender to something much darker.

"Suho?" Chanyeol asked, noticing the change in his friend’s demeanor.

Suho’s hand trembled slightly as he picked up the photo, staring at it intently. "This man..." he began, his voice barely audible. "I’ve seen him before. Years ago, when I first took over running this place. He used to come here... but not for the drinks."

"What do you mean?" Chanyeol asked, his heart beginning to race.

Suho glanced around before leaning in closer, lowering his voice. "He wasn’t just a regular. He was here for meetings—quiet meetings with people who didn’t want to be seen together. Politicians, cops, businessmen. I overheard things. Things that could ruin careers, destroy lives. If I’m even seen talking about him, I know for a fact that there’s going to be a hitman waiting for me outside for when I leave."

Chanyeol’s mind was spinning. Dom had been operating in the shadows for years, even after his father’s death. And now, Lucio had picked up where he left off.

10:45 PM

Kyungsoo stepped outside to take a phone call from Minseok, leaving Chanyeol at the bar with Suho. The unease that had settled over him earlier was now fully blooming into anxiety. He couldn’t shake the feeling that something was horribly wrong.

As he sipped his bourbon, his thoughts drifted back to Y/N. She had seemed happy earlier—relieved to be away from the chaos that had consumed her life after the raid. But then the fire at her old apartment happened, and now Lucio’s name was coming up more and more. He couldn’t ignore the sinking feeling in his gut any longer.

"You look troubled," Suho said quietly, breaking the silence.

Chanyeol glanced at him, then down at his drink. "I am. Something doesn’t feel right. Y/N... she hasn’t responded to any of my texts for hours. And then there’s the fire. I wish I was there for her when she woke up, but I had to leave before the ass crack of dawn to track down a low-level thug. I thought he would somehow take me to wherever the fuck it is that I might have some answers - but he was a fucking deadend." Suho nods, while Chanyeol continues, “My heart breaks to think that Y/N most probably had to wake up by herself to the horrible news of her home of so many years burning down. Fuck!!”

"Do you think Lucio’s behind it?" Suho asked, his brow furrowing in concern.

"I don’t doubt it. He’s sending a message, to both me and Y/N," Chanyeol said, his voice tight with frustration. "He knows I care about her. The fucker is  using that against me."

Suho nodded slowly, his face grim. "Be careful, Chanyeol. Lucio isn’t just some street thug. He’s been around a long time. He knows how to play the game."

Chanyeol put down his glass and rubbed his temples, letting out a low sigh. The weight of everything was pressing down on him, and he didn’t know how much longer he could keep it all together.

11:00 PM 

Kyungsoo returned to the bar, his face pale, eyes wide with urgency. Chanyeol knew immediately something was wrong.

"What is it?" Chanyeol asked, his voice rising with alarm.

"Lucio," Kyungsoo breathed, barely able to get the words out. "He’s escaped. Killed three prison guards on his way out. Minseok just got the call."

Chanyeol’s heart stopped. For a moment, everything around him seemed to blur. Lucio was out—and Y/N hadn’t answered his calls in hours.

Fuck fuck FUCKKK!! Chanyeol grabbed his phone and dialed Y/N’s number again. The call went straight to voicemail.

"Kyungsoo, this isn’t a coincidence. He’s after her. He. knows. she’s important to me," Chanyeol said, his voice strained with panic.

"I know," Kyungsoo replied, his voice tense. "We need to figure out where she is, now."

Chanyeol paced back and forth, running his hands through his hair, trying to think of what to do. Every second that passed felt like an eternity. Y/N could be in danger—real danger—and he wasn’t there to protect her.

"We need to move," Kyungsoo urged. "Lucio’s not going to wait around."

11:50 PM 

Chanyeol’s phone buzzed in his hand. A text. He unlocked it quickly, hoping it was Y/N, but his blood ran cold when he saw the message.

It was from a private number. Attached was an image—Y/N, tied to a chair in a dark, unfamiliar room. Her face was bruised, and she seemed unconsious. Below the image was a single line of text:

"2 AM. Come alone, or she dies."

Chanyeol’s heart raced as he stared at the message, his hands trembling. He could barely breathe. Time was slipping away, and if he didn’t act now, Y/N might not make it through the night.

"Kyungsoo!" Chanyeol shouted, showing him the message.

Kyungsoo’s face went ashen. "We don’t have much time," he said, his voice grim. "We need a plan."

Chanyeol didn’t respond. His mind was already racing, running through every possibility, every move he could make. But there was no time to think. He had two hours.

Midnight 

Chanyeol stood in his apartment, staring at his phone. His hands were shaking, his thoughts a blur. He had always been in control—calm, collected, strategic. But now, everything was unraveling.

Y/N’s life was in his hands, and he had no idea how to save her.

The clock struck midnight. The countdown had officially begun.

Every second now was a second closer her death.

[xiubaek-13]

Requested: No

Genre: Canon-AU, smut

Pairing: ? (at this stage undecided) x Reader or is it Baekhyun x Reader ?

Warnings: 18+ fic, minors DNI! angst, fluff, suggestive text, making out, confessions of feelings. Not many warnings for this one but she's deeply in her head for a decent portion of this chapter.

Word Count: 22,599

A/N: Here it is. The final chapter. Like most of my writing in the back half of this fic, it was supposed to be considerable shorter but then I let the brain worms control my fingers and now you get this behemoth of an ending. It's only had one very quick edit so I hope it makes sense and isn't a let down.

7 years ago I knew the ending for this fic, but when I was plotting out the chapter that ending simply didn't fit anymore so we've got a new ending and I hope it doesn't let you down.

The flight home left you with a lot of time to think. You had asked Minseok and Baekhyun to let the rest of the guys know about your meeting, telling them that Junmyeon could probably fill in more of the details that you’d left out when you’d broken the news to them. Your mind had been focused on getting to Minseok’s reward at the time, so discussing the feedback you’d received in great detail was not front of mind. 

Feeling overwhelmed with your own thoughts, you’d also asked them to tell everyone that you had requested some space. From them. You just couldn’t handle any of them right now. You’d assured Minseok & Baek when you’d all woken up the next morning that they hadn’t overstepped or done anything, but that your mind was too busy and too much for you right now. The internal storm had been brewing for quite some time but you’d constantly pushed it down, too busy to deal with silly things like the future, feelings and relationships. But once the tour ended and the rewards were completed (inconveniently on the same night) it all came crashing down on you. The floodgates had been opened and you didn’t know how to act normal and not drown in your own mind at the same time. You needed space to simply exist. Space to sort out your mind before you did something utterly stupid and reckless. You’d promised to never disappear on them again without talking to them, and whilst you felt a bit guilty for withdrawing from them like that you had provided warning, and as much context as you could. Baekhyun refused to let you leave until you promised him you weren’t self-destructing. That you weren’t going to disappear and not respond to them.

“You said you wouldn’t do that again. You said you’d lean on at least one of us when you were struggling.” He said, his eyes full of concern as he watched you nervously pace around the room.

“It’s different this time. I’m not sad, or feeling lonely or headed to a dark place mentally.” You stopped in the middle of the room as you tried to hold off the panic attack that you could feel building within you. You needed to go. You needed to be away from it all. You needed them to understand. “It’s just loud. And overwhelming. And I need time to be by myself to sort through everything.” 

“But you’re asking us to not contact you.” He looked down at his hands. “How will we know if you’re ok?”

“It won’t be for long. I hope. Just give me a week, then Minseok or Kyungsoo can check in to make sure I’m ok.” You said. 

“Why not me?” He asked so quietly that you barely heard the words.

“Because I know they’ll just check in with me and nothing more until I’m ready to chat.” You smiled at him. “You wouldn’t be able to help yourself. You yap. It’s just part of who you are.”

“I hate this.” He grumbled.

“I don’t like it either, but I’ll do it.” Minseok replied. He looked worried for you as well, but he could tell you weren’t going to bend on this request. He didn’t want to back you into a corner. He knew if any of them did that, they ran the risk of you running from them. He hated to see you struggle with your thoughts but he hoped he knew you well enough to know that you’d reach out if you needed to lean on them. Even if you weren’t ready.

“Fine. I’ll do it as well, but know that I truly do not like this. Not one bit.” He sighed, resigned to your decision. He realised his words may have come across too harsh when he saw guilt flash across your features. “I’m sorry. I’m not mad. I’m just worried and wish I, or any of us, could help.”

You nodded. “I get it. I would hate it if any of you did this to me. Trust me I feel shitty about it, but I need to go deal with some stuff that I’ve been putting to the side because I simply didn’t have time to process it.” You shifted nervously on your feet, itching to leave the room. You felt your heart rate increase, and breathing was becoming difficult. You had to leave before your panic was obvious to them. You weren’t sure why you were so wound up this morning, but you knew you just needed to get away from the people who paid too much attention to you. “I’m sorry, but I have to go.” 

You knew that they had conveyed your wishes when the group chat you’d been added to, one that had been busy that morning with members arguing over the best American breakfast sandwich, just stopped. The messages just abruptly ended. It left a bittersweet feeling in your heart. On one hand, they were only respecting your request for space to think, but on the other, having nine large personalities all fall quiet at the same time made you feel lonely. You hadn’t realised how much they had integrated themselves into your life, and you theirs until then. You might not see them every day but their presence was always felt. Through messages bickering with each other, reminding you to eat, dumb selfies, silly jokes, recommendations for movies or tv shows, unflattering photos of the others. They were always there. Until now. Now it was as though they’d all simply ceased to exist. It was weird. It felt wrong.

You’d travelled back to Korea with the other staff members. No one found that strange as there was no reason for any of the guys to request your presence for a lesson - the tour was over. You mindlessly watched movies until you fell asleep. Dealing with the onslaught of thoughts and feelings was not something you were going to do on a long haul flight. Having a breakdown 30,000 feet above the ocean was not on your bucket list. Did you shed a tear or two at certain scenes in the movies you watched because they reminded you of certain people? Maybe. But lucky for you the staff were all equally exhausted and happy to sleep for the majority of the return trip. Once you landed the guys were called to the company whilst you and multiple other staff members were told to go home and rest. You were beyond thankful to be told to go home because that was the only thing you wanted to do. You wanted the safety of the familiar four walls of your apartment. The comfort of your bed. Maybe all you needed was a really long sleep and then you’d be less of an emotional wreck. You didn’t think you’d overworked yourself but maybe you were wrong? 

It was quiet in your apartment. Not that that was a new thing. No, the new thing was that you knew it would remain quiet. There would not be a knock on your door from a bored neighbour who wanted to raid your snack cupboard and hide from their roommates. There would be no flurry of messages to your phone or late night calls. It was probably a good thing. If this feeling that you were experiencing, like teetering on the edge of an abyss of panic, was anything to go by then you were probably deluding yourself if you thought it was purely related to being exhausted from work. 

No, if you actually thought about it, you realised that it was the culmination of a few things. First there was the fact that your contract was over and you didn’t know what was next for you, or how their CEO would respond to the work you’d done. Second was the fact that you had been sexually intimate with each of the members. You thought you’d kept the interpersonal relationship side of things separate from the sex but now your mind was throwing every ‘what if’ in the book at you. Were they your friends?, were they colleagues?, did any of them now want nothing to do with you because you’d been with the others?, did any of them want more from you?, did you want more from any of them?, did you ruin everything? Your mind was in full spiral mode, with no exits in sight. You were unfortunately in for the ride, even if you did not want to be.

You knew you needed to sit down and dwell in your thoughts and work out what to do about the nine very special men who were woven into your heart, each one you had slept with, but did you feel something more than friendship and attraction to any of them? Was it simply a working relationship that you’d sprinkled some highly unprofessional fun into or did you have romantic interest in any or all of them? You’d avoided thinking about this very thing for weeks now, always telling yourself that you were too busy with lessons. Now you were forced to address it. No one would come distract you, and there was no work to be done, and if you didn’t address it? Well it seemed like you were destined for a full blown mental breakdown if you left it to fester.

You were officially off the clock until the CEO summoned you so you had nothing but time to sit and dwell on your thoughts and feelings. Naturally you decided to clean your apartment instead. Then reorganise the kitchen, do all of your washing, make your bed and organise your desk. It was when your thumb was hovering over the call button for your parents that you snapped out of your procrastination spiral and forced your brain to start unraveling the mess that was your relationship with the EXO members. 

Like every other time you’d had to solve a seemingly large problem, you took out a notebook and pen and began to make notes. It wasn’t a pros and cons list, rather, it was your jumbled thoughts spewed out onto a page. You’d always worked best with problem solving when you had something to annotate. You needed visual logic cues if you were to concentrate on this long enough to deal with it. When you looked down at the page it was one very messy web of unfiltered thoughts. Seeing it all on the page didn’t ease your worries like it usually did. For some reason this felt bigger, like it was more important than you could perceive. 

The crux of the issue still seemed to be that they were your friends before you took on the role of teaching them English, then after they became colleagues you rather quickly implemented the reward system. Then came the issue of involving sex, but honestly, apart from some prying and joking the guys hadn’t changed in how they acted towards you. If anything some were more affectionate with you but that was never in a sexual way. They understood that the system was there for the lessons and if you excluded Minseok and Baekhyun - all sex acts were contained within the lesson rewards or punishments. Yixing was playful, but only because he knew he could get away with it. He never tried for more than being close to you, and you knew he cared about you (especially since the day at the Han River, and because he wasn’t always around), but you didn’t think he was pining for you though it was sometimes difficult to gauge what he was feeling. Junmyeon was a gentleman and rarely brought up anything to do with the reward arrangement. Chanyeol, Jongdae and Sehun liked to make suggestive comments and jokes but that was mostly in. Sehun had been clingy before all of this anyway. Kyungsoo was another who was difficult to read. He’d never tried anything after the reward, but he was sweet to you, and very familiar with you in a way he hadn’t been beforehand. Jongin was a sweetheart before and after, and you were pretty sure his reward was just an experience for him and nothing more. Minseok and you… well that has basically been a friends with benefits situation however neither of you appeared to be trying to push that arrangement into something more at present. You were both more than capable of hanging out and not fucking. 

Baekhyun presented a whole other problem. Your relationship with him had never been normal. The sexually charged banter had been there from the very beginning and only built as things went on. The day at the Han River proved that he cared about you enough to find you and help you. You enjoyed his company which wasn’t to say you didn’t enjoy all of their company, but with him it was different. Wasn’t it? You weren’t sure. The relationship that grew between the two of you had been sexually charged thanks to your drunken flirting very early on in the scheme of things but he’d never shied away from it - as long as you weren’t a drunken mess. The flirting had continued and your encounters always seemed to teeter on the precipice of taking that next step, but ended in delayed gratification so it was impossible for you to decipher if you had felt so strongly because you’d craved his body and his touch or if it was something more.

You paused in your deliberations to order some food. All this thinking was making you hungry and your mother had always told you to never make important decisions while hungry. It was something you’d lived by and you weren't about to stray from it now. A decision made while hungry could very well just be the impulsive choice rather than the choice you might make once hunger wasn’t making you impatient. Hangry was never a helpful state to be in.

What were you even trying to figure out? Did you want to date all of them? Was that even a possibility? It would be hard enough to date one idol, let alone nine of them. How would that work? You knew people back home who were in successful polycules but like, they were on the smaller side and had a more even split of gender. That and the fact that they weren’t also hugely famous in a highly conservative country and would receive backlash for anyone they dated. If you dated all nine of them, you would be the only woman and as far as you were aware, none of them were all that interested in exploring each other in that way. Did you feel that way about them? I felt like it had to be an all or nothing situation for it to be fair. You didn’t ask your brain what kind of logic that was because it made sense to you at the time. So would you be ok if you didn’t pursue anything more with any of them? Would remaining close friends with them be enough for you, or them? God you hadn’t even considered if any of them were romantically interested in you. How embarrassing would it be to make a decision only for it to be the opposite of their decision? Could your heart handle that rejection if you were dealing with freshly discovered feelings? You stood up and did a full body shake in a feeble attempt at releasing the building anxiety from your body. You needed to focus on one question at a time. Were you romantically interested in all of them? 

You weren’t sure. It was complicated. 

If you didn’t want all of them, would you be fine with just being friends with them? 

Again, you weren’t sure. All this thinking was making your head hurt. The lack of answers you were providing yourself wasn’t helping your anxiety in the slightest. Maybe you should just finish your food, go to bed and try again in the morning? You probably had jet lag. That couldn’t be helping. 

Did you want any of them in that way? Did any of them want you in that way? If you were just friends with them, would you be ok watching them date other people? Could you be happy for them? Your heart felt heavy and you were no closer to working out why. You closed your notebook and got into bed, hoping the cocoon of your blankets could wash away some of the worries and panic. 

Sleep was elusive. You tossed and turned for what felt like the entire night because you could not switch your brain off. It wasn’t supplying any new information nor was it being productive in any way. No, instead it was showing you all of the worst case scenario outcomes from your possible decisions. Thoughts of being doxxed for dating any of them, sasaengs hurting you or any of them, calls from antis to have the group disband or certain members thrown out. All of it haunted your sleep deprived brain. When your thoughts drifted to the possibility of you being deported over dating any of them, you finally heaved a sigh, called your mind an idiot and somehow fell asleep. It was more likely that you passed out from exhaustion at that point, too drained mentally to remain conscious. The dreams were just snapshots of all these awful thoughts. Your subconscious must have felt bad for you as it sprinkled in small glimpses of the happy endings where everything worked out. Little bursts of colour surrounded these moments, like it was really trying its best to show you there could be good outcomes. 

Warmth and laughter in their company, locked lips and entwined limbs, waking up in someone’s arms, secretive dates, happy smiles. Small glimpses of building a happy home together, of not dating but still hanging out and enjoying being with your friends. Feeling whole, and loved. Even dreaming you were no closer to a resolution than before. 

A new day brought distractions. So be it if those distractions were ones you forced upon yourself, they were still distractions dammit. You took yourself out for a walk in a feeble attempt at clearing your mind only to find yourself standing in front of an aquarium in Gangnam. Water always grounded you when your thoughts became too loud, and since you couldn’t sit at the beach, staring out at the waves for hours like you could in your hometown, an aquarium was the next best thing. Something about walking through enclosures below the water with sea life surrounding you was calming. It was serene and quiet. You allowed your mind to go blank as you made your way through the different exhibits, reading the fun facts that were put next to each enclosure. 

You learned about the sharks that could reproduce asexually, never needing the company of others to keep themselves afloat. Sharks were always so interesting to watch. A terrifying predator who seemingly feared nothing, but to you they were also these goofy looking creatures because of their teeth. There were too many and they were too sharp but it also made them look kind of ridiculous when they were simply existing. You had an appreciation for them. They were unbothered creatures, content to simply exist, only attacking for survival whether that be for sustenance or to defend themselves. They let specific creatures into their personal space, never attacking them, but seeming to simply coexist. Those suckerfish - that you now found out were actually called Remora - helped the sharks and in turn the sharks helped them. It seemed like a simple relationship. You imagined that one day they just attached themselves to the sharks and never let go and for some reason, the shark just let it happen. 

The tropical exhibit was vibrant and massive. You had to stop yourself from reciting lines from Finding Nemo lest you appear like a crazy foreigner talking to themselves. You knew a lot of the facts about these creatures from your studies at school but there were some things they had left out of your textbooks, probably to avoid teachers having to explain certain concepts to children. Concepts like polyamorous fish. Yeah, those existed. Well, technically the marine biologists simply documented that certain species of tropical fish mated with multiple partners. So one couldn’t explicitly state that the fish were polyamorous, but maybe that term was better than saying the fish were swingers. It was a ridiculous concept to think about. The inner working relationships of fish. Maybe you were losing your mind. 

You moved on to see the seals being fed. You always found them to be a deceptive creature. ‘Looks like a friend but is most definitely not a friend’ was the label you’d always associated with them. Growing up you’d been to a marine park and been in awe of the cute seals who did tricks for rewards in the form of fish. You even had a photo with a seal posed next to you. You remembered that it was heavy, very wet and its breath stank of fish, but it was pretty chill. Your cousin snuck you into a section you weren’t supposed to go to, where they were rehabilitating other animals - mainly dolphins and seals. He knew about a specific seal species that looked adorable and said he wanted to show it to you. He left out the part where this particular species ate penguins and other seals. He waited until you were home, talking to anyone who would listen about the world’s prettiest seal, about how they must be the sweetest and most amazing seals to ever exist. He waited until you were so enamoured by them that you were almost going to claim them as your new favourite animal to show you a section of a documentary of that specific species hunting. You had nightmares for weeks. Thankfully the seals in this enclosure were not the leopard seals of your childhood nightmares. It did remind you to call your cousin to catch up and remind him of how much he terrorised you as a child. 

You spent way too long watching the penguins in the arctic exhibit. They appeared to be nesting, at least that was the conclusion you arrived at. There were penguins lying in little circles made of rocks and ice, a nest you supposed, while their mate searched the enclosure for the perfect pieces of ice and rocks before bringing them back and placing them in the nest (you assumed they were mates since they kept returning to the same nest, never straying to a different penguin. That and you knew penguins mated for life, so if they weren’t mates then they were definitely courting the penguin they thought could be their mate). It was such a simple act but you found that you simply couldn’t leave the viewing window, entranced by such a simple act of love. 

When you finally left the aquarium a few hours later you felt more at peace than you had in weeks. By no means was your mind clear, but the chaotic tornado that had taken up residence in there was now more of a light breeze as all your worries quietened down, allowing you to logically sift through them. You allowed yourself to believe that you had in fact, been successful at teaching EXO English. The tour was successful and you hadn’t been required to step in very often during their ments or interviews. For a group with poor prior experience with learning English you had basically done the impossible. You managed to let go of the stigma that had clouded your mind for the past few weeks that was constantly telling you they were only succeeding because of the sex, but really if all they took from your lessons was the sex then they still would have failed miserably at their ments and interviews. Something you did stuck, and whether it was because you were someone they knew and trusted was kind of beside the point. You took the time to learn how each of them would learn the best from you, and tailored sessions to maximise their recall of their ments. And it fucking worked. You should really allow yourself to feel your oats more often than you did. The cloud of self depreciation that had been looming and trying to take root was dissolved. You did a good job. Others had told you so, you knew it to be true. You just had to be consistent in telling your self doubt to go fuck itself when it next tried to diminish your achievements. You felt a little lighter than you had this morning, one less voice causing chaos in your mind.

Riding on your good mood, you decided to take a walk through the nearby night markets, enjoying food from the street vendors and looking at the pretty wares others had on offer. You resisted the urge to buy gifts for the guys - this was a day for you, not a day for you to revert to stressing over if you would be giving a gift as a friend, as a romantic partner, or as a farewell. For now you simply took in the craftsmanship of the trinkets, clothing and jewellery on offer - deciding that you would go to more night markets in the future. The streets were so full of life, bustling with a palpable energy that was infectious. You loved it. The streets were illuminated with soft and pretty lights, making you feel like you were walking through a little fairytale rather than the streets of Seoul. It was an impressive feat for this small section of such a bright and bustling city to achieve. 

Eventually you decided it was time to begin the journey back towards your apartment. You wanted to call your family, possibly a friend as well, just to update them on your life as a translator overseas. Now that you actually recognised the work that you had done you knew you could feel confident talking to them about it. Talking about it to someone outside of the business might also help bring other things you were worried about into focus. You headed home with your head held high, finally feeling good about the work you had done these past months. 

Speaking with your parents and your closest friend back home helped you unpack more of your thoughts. Ones you wouldn’t have realised if you hadn’t had to conceal certain aspects of your life over here. Describing the boys as acquaintances then colleagues felt weird and wrong, but you knew you had to hide the friendship to an extent. After all, they didn’t know how damaging that kind of news could be if it got out and they would not feel the need to keep that information to themselves. You knew they’d just say you were overreacting if you told them not to tell anyone about it, so you simply kept that from them. It was easier this way even if it felt off. They meant more than you could tell your parents.

You’d always worried that your family wouldn’t be proud of you for taking a job in a foreign country and leaving as quickly as you did. You’d expected to cop an earful from your mother for not calling her more often but you were pleasantly surprised to hear how many questions she had about your work - how was your boss, how did they assign clients, were they treating you well, were the hours humane, were the conditions fair, did you get sufficient pay and time off. The list was endless. You answered all of her questions to the best of your ability without breaching your contract or giving away incriminating details. Your father wanted to know all about your living conditions, was it in a good neighbourhood, was the security good, were you safe, were you being smart when you left the house. You allowed him to nag you since that was his love language - fretting about his daughter's safety. He even convinced you to hang up and call again on video so you could show him your apartment and so they could see your face, to make sure you were being truthful about eating and sleeping well. Definitely not because they also missed you terribly. Once you had appeased them, promising no less than five times that you were keeping out of trouble, were eating well and getting enough sleep, did they allow you to ask them questions about life after you left home. It was comforting to talk to them, even if it made you miss them terribly - you longed for a warm hug from each of them more than you wanted to admit. You dodged questions of romance, citing that you were far too busy with work to date. You also had to explain how dating culture was different here, and once they knew how much faster relationships began your father was much happier to know that you weren’t dating. You’d die if he knew what you had been doing though. 

You eventually told them that you were at the end of the current contract you were on and that you were awaiting a final evaluation to see if the company you had been on contract with wanted to keep you on for other projects or if your boss would be assigning you to a new company to work with new artists. Your father could tell from your voice that you were feeling anxious about being in limbo. He told you to rest assured that you did the best work you could, and that your successes would be noticed. He told you that if they renewed your contract that would be great because you already had rapport and knew your way around the company building, feeling comfortable with that environment but he also told you that if they didn’t, that it wouldn’t take long for your boss to find you a new company because of your achievements on your current contract, and that change wasn’t a bad thing. It could lead to bigger and brighter things. Your mother was always good at talking out the minutiae of a problem with you but your father could pinpoint what you needed to hear and ease your busy mind. It was a trait you were thankful he had because it was what you needed right now. You talked for a long time after that, catching up on everything you had missed in their lives, on tv shows, the news, gossip around town. Your mother could harp on about anything if you let her. Eventually you had to try and wind up the conversation, you did have another call to make after all. After promising to call more often they let you go so you could call your closest friend. 

Speaking with her went exactly as you thought it would. First there was a lot of nagging about how you never called or told her anything, how you’d abandoned her for the rich and famous clients you had. That you’d probably snagged some uber rich and hot guy and forgotten all about little old her. Then came the endless I miss you’s followed by all the things she’d been dying to tell you. You got wildly sidetracked as you caught up on her life, her new boyfriend, her work, her plans and seemingly endless tangents. She was the kind of friend who could easily take over a conversation, something she had often had to do in the past. There were times where you just preferred to go quiet and let others lead the small talk. You preferred topics that interested you when meeting new people because you had something to contribute, and surface level conversation kind of bored you. You could do it, and did when work required it of you, but in your personal life you were often much more reserved in conversation with strangers. There was probably something to unpack there but you chose to ignore that for now.

You went through a similar interrogation about work and life in Korea with her, though she pressed for far more details than your parents did since she had some idea that you were working with idols. You managed to avoid incriminating yourself in any way but you knew this would not be the last time she pressed you for information. She had a knack for knowing when things were left unsaid, and boy did you leave a lot of things about your situation unsaid. When you got to the topic of your current employment potentially coming to an end she made similar points to your father, though she added that the more people you worked for in the entertainment sector, the more likely it was for you to meet some amazing guy. You almost choked on your laughter at that. Once again you had to promise to contact her more often before she would let you get off the phone with her. 

[9:21PM] Your bestest friend in the world: Don’t think for a moment that I didn’t pick up on the fact that something is going on with you.

[9:21PM] Your bestest friend in the world: I won’t push you for an explanation yet, but know that I’m here for you love. Anytime. 

She was too perceptive for her own good. You hated and loved her for it.

[9:21PM] You: Nothing gets past you does it? I should have known you’d pick up on it. I’m not ready to talk about it yet, still wading through my thoughts etc. But thank you bby. ILYSM <3

[9:21PM] Your bestest friend in the world: <3 Talk to me when you’re ready to unpack everything in that pretty little head of yours. ILYSM2

The calls left you feeling even more grounded and settled in your emotions. Your mind continued to be quiet and calm as you got ready for bed, hoping you would get a decent night's sleep and continue your ‘me’ time tomorrow. After all you still had to wade through your feelings about the guys, where everything between the lot of you stood now and where things were going. You weren’t sure that you could fully work out your feelings without talking to them, which could go horribly wrong but you were just too confused. You knew one thing for certain, you had to tell them that there had to be no more sex related things between any of you until this whole thing was worked out. That obviously meant no stress relief fucking with Minseok, but also had to include suggestive comments and jokes. You just weren’t sure if anything could be taken at face value, or if there was more to it.

You promised yourself that if you still felt calm and clear in your thoughts by tomorrow afternoon that you would reach out to the guys. Sure they were giving you space now, but you weren’t so naive to believe that this would continue if you reached a week with zero contact. Sure Minseok or Kyungsoo would message you but you’d rather not let it reach that point if you could help it. You knew them well enough to know that they’d start to worry, and then they’d jump to conclusions that it was somehow their fault that you weren’t talking to them. That was something you wanted to avoid. You weren’t the only one capable of spiralling in your thoughts.

***

Thankfully sleep came easily for you. The bed was comfy, the sheets a perfect texture and the room was cool, allowing you to snuggle into a blanket burrito and sleep deeply. You awoke the next day feeling well rested and more at peace than you’d felt in weeks. You promised to give yourself until the afternoon to make contact and you planned on honoring that self imposed promise so you headed out on another stroll since the weather was yet again pleasant. First stop was the coffee shop for your daily dose of sugar in liquid form (also known as an iced chocolate) and a flaky pastry. Today that was a blueberry danish. With your tasty treats in hand, you set off through the closest park, hoping to find a duck pond to sit by while you ate. There was no reason or tradition for the dunk pond, you just liked being near water when you wanted to get lost in thought. 

As luck would have it, you did find a pond, sadly barren, with no ducks, but it still had the desired effect of being an idyllic backdrop for you. You made a mental list of the things you needed to complete before returning to your apartment. 1. Get groceries so you could cook yourself some meals for the next week. 2. Buy some new clothes and accessories before the season changes so you wouldn’t be caught out. 3. Visit a nearby corgi cafe so you could give some fluffballs your love. 4. Buy a couple of gifts to send home to your parents and closest friend. It wasn’t too overwhelming, but it should keep you occupied until it was time to reach out to the guys. You probably wouldn’t check off the final item today, that would require a future visit to the night markets. 

Groceries were reasonably simple. After talking with your family you suddenly craved a simple western meal so you’d decided on some pan cooked chicken with roasted vegetables and a salad. If you seasoned each chicken breast slightly different it would change up your meals enough each night for you to not grow bored of them. You managed to successfully buy some new clothes and accessories to put away for the next season and then spent two blissfully happy hours at the corgi cafe. You were constantly being prodded with little paws or wet noses asking for pats and treats. You were quite literally covered in fur but you didn’t care. They were so cute and getting to spend time with them really filled the part of you that desperately wanted a pet. You’d have one one day, when the time was right and you could dedicate yourself to training and giving them all the affection in your being. 

With a little tri-coloured corgi resting his head on your lap you let your thoughts drift. When would you get the call from Mr. Kim? At this point you just wanted to have your meeting so you could stop weighing up the uncertainty of your professional future. Once that was set then you knew you could much more easily discuss where things either should or should not progress with the guys. That moment of clarity for what you wanted in that respect remained elusive. You knew that you wanted them in your life, and whilst the thought of nothing more than friendship didn’t entirely sit well with you (you still couldn’t pinpoint why that was), you knew you could do that if that’s all they wanted from you. You felt something for each of them but you hadn’t fallen hard for anyone, a feat that you thanked your guarded heart for immensely. There was closeness, attraction and lust but no deep romantic love. You could see yourself falling if you opened your heart to it and if it was reciprocated by them, but for now you were safe from heartbreak if they didn’t have interest in you like that. 

You’d thought about what you’d do if more than one, or oddly if all of them wanted some sort of arrangement with you. You’d decided that you weren’t opposed to the idea, but only if certain ground rules were in place to keep everyone safe.  If they were opposed to a more polyamorous relationship then you would step back and remain their friend. You refused to allow them to fight and potentially damage their relationships with each other - both personally and professionally - over dating you. It could be seen as a clinical approach but the reality was that they were at the peak of their careers right now and you would not allow the prospect of dating you to get in the way of that. You weren’t that important, you couldn’t be. There was also the secretive nature of whatever relationship you all moved forward with. Male idols were not supposed to be close with other women, that only led to dating scandals which was another thing you wanted to avoid at all costs. 

Ultimately you had to talk to the guys and lay all of your thoughts out for them. They had to know where you stood and then you had to give them time to work out where they stood and what they wanted. Would that be an awkward as fuck conversation? Yes. Was it necessary? Also yes. It was time. No more radio silence. No more dwelling. You quickly sent off a message before you could talk yourself into taking another day to sit with your thoughts. 

[6:13PM] You: Are you guys busy?

The response was almost instantaneous. You hoped that didn’t mean they were hanging out by their phones waiting to hear from you. 

[6:13PM] Junmyeon: Noona! It’s nice to hear from you :)

[6:13PM] Junmyeon: We all just got home. Do you need something?

His words calmed you a little. It was his usual routine to check his phone as soon as he got home. Then he did his best to ignore it for a few hours, only answering if a manager or family member called.

[6:14PM] You: I was hoping I could come up and have a chat with everyone?

[6:14PM] You: But like, only if you’re all free and ok to have me over. I’m sure you’re all still tired.

You might be offering to have this meeting but that did not mean you weren’t incredibly anxious about it. You’d kept your thoughts at bay for almost two days but as soon as you put the talk on the table all of your fears resurfaced. What if they were mad at you? What if you’d read too much into this relationship? What if you caused a rift in the group? You didn’t want to be EXO’s Yoko. 

[6:14PM] Junmyeon: Nonsense. Come on up.

[6:14PM] Junmyeon: They’d kill me if I didn’t invite you up here and you know it.

[6:14PM] Junmyeon: All I’ve heard since we boarded the plane is whiny men. Get your ass up here and put me out of my misery!

You laughed at that. You could practically see him pouting as he typed the messages out to you. It didn’t seem like they were mad, but a small part of you also began to worry that they were too prone to overreacting. You shut that down when you reminded yourself that you’d basically cut them off cold turkey right at the end of the tour. The only people who had spent time with you after that final concert were Minseok and Baekhyun, and only them and Junmyeon knew about your meeting, unless they’d told the others about it. After all you had said they could do that. 

[6:15PM] You: It’s barely been 36 hours. You guys are maybe a little too codependent on me.

[6:15PM] You: But fine, I’ll be up in like 30 mins. Is that enough time for you to round everyone up?

[6:15PM] Junmyeon: You know we love you, but it was the radio silence and request to not contact you that sent them in a tailspin.

[6:15PM] Junmyeon: Not that I’m mad, just to be clear. I get it, but they lowkey freaked out.

Yeah, that checked out. You needed to just get home and go see your ragtag bunch of idiots who seemed to care about you more than you ever thought they would. However you also need to stop whatever attempt at ‘down with the cool kids’ lingo Junmyeon was trying to achieve. He already got teased enough for being the old man of the group and poorly inserting lingo that was clearly out of place in his vernacular was not going to help him.

[6:15PM] You: Don’t say lowkey, that’s not who you are. 

[6:15PM] You: Sehun is probably the only one of you who can get away with saying that. Chanyeol and Baekhyun think they can, but the jury is out on whether or not they can.

[6:15PM] Junmyeon: I’m going to ignore that slander of my character. I’m up on current slang. 

You actually facepalmed. Why was he like this? WHY.

[6:16PM] You: Seriously. STOP. You are in no way helping yourself here.

[6:16PM] Junmyeon: 30 minutes is fine. See you soon. 

[6:16PM] Junmyeon: Just to check though, should I be emotionally prepared for some heartbreaking and serious talk? You rarely ask to speak to all of us at once.

You supposed it could come off as a we need to talk moment given the lack of context you’d provided. And it kind of was that, but also not? You really didn’t want them to freak out. Nine guys fretting would be too overwhelming for you.

[6:16PM] You: Semi serious, but nothing heavy. I just want to explain myself and where my head has been at so you all understand why I kind of just disappeared.

[6:16PM] Junmyeon: Bet. See you soon then <3

[6:17PM] You: You are too old to be saying bet. Who is teaching you this shit? You know what. Don’t answer that. Just stop saying ‘trend’ words. We both know you’re not cool enough to pull them off. No offence.

[6:17PM] You: See you soon. <3

[6:17PM] Junmyeon: Wow noona. Harsh. My lingo is on fleek, it's rude of you to not realise that.

[6:17PM] You: I’m never going to speak to you again. 

[6:17PM] You: And I might have to cause bodily harm to whoever taught you this lingo.

You locked your phone before you cringed at any further attempts at current slang were sent to you. It was go time for you. Whether you were ready or not (you were not), the conversation was happening. Time to get your butt home and face the music. So to speak. You just hoped you weren’t about to fuck it all up. 

***

Nine pairs of eyes stared back at you from the various spots in the living room. You stood awkwardly in front of the tv as you contemplated whether or not to find yourself a chair or if you were just going to stand here and speak. The choice ended up being made for you as Yixing brought a chair in for you to sit on. It was still placed in the centre of the room facing all of them, but it felt a little less intimidating to sit before speaking. Yixing’s fingers brushed over your shoulder, giving it a light squeeze, before he moved back towards his place on the lounge. 

You cleared your throat and decided to approach this as you would remove a bandaid - quickly. You knew the guys were all wondering what the cause of your no contact rule was and the sooner you put them out of their misery the better. It would be better for you as well because you would get at least this part of the conversation out of your brain. Your time at the aquarium had helped clear your thoughts, as had your walk through the city. You weren’t so sure if the evening sitting in your apartment spiralling in your thoughts helped, so this was your attempt at preventing that from happening again tonight while still putting some space between them and you while you sorted your shit out.

“I uh, I want to apologise for not speaking with any of you properly before we flew back from the tour.” You held up a hand to stop the immediate chorus of responses that were coming from the guys. “Please let me get all of this out before any of you speak otherwise I don’t know if I’ll be able to get through it.” Nine heads nodded at you and waited for you to continue. 

“I got really in my head about everything and needed to take a step away from all of it, from everyone, while I tried to settle my thoughts.” You started. “First I worried that I hadn’t done a good job because I’d been unprofessional, but after I let myself spiral I realised that wasn’t true and that I had done a great job. I didn’t get to tell you after the last show ended but I could not be more proud of each and every one of you. Your English improved SO much and whilst a certain amount of that is on me, a huge part of that is on you for applying yourselves to the lessons and the study in order to make those improvements. You should also all be really proud of yourselves for the progress you’ve all made.” You couldn’t help but smile at them, pride shining through you. You were truly impressed at the work they’d put in and the results they’d shown in such a small timeframe. “Were part of the lessons and some of my conduct unprofessional? Yes, but I now believe that none of those things hindered your progress, nor were they the sole motivation for your improvements. Whether I’m wrong or right about this, I’m now choosing to believe that they were a pleasant bonus to all of this.”

Time for the big reveal. The thing that had been weighing on you, causing you to nearly have multiple panic attacks. The thing you were most scared about admitting to them. Would they thing you were overreacting or crazy? Would they understand? “My relationship with all of you also began to get muddled in my head by the end of the tour. We all met before I took on the role of teacher and prior to that we were all friends, and with more than one of you there was also an undercurrent of flirtation - regardless of whether any of us were going to act on it or not. Then I became someone who worked for you, who was quite literally on call for if you needed a lesson, in any setting and at any time of day. We were still friends but it did alter the relationship with you. Then I added in the reward/punishment system and that kind of threw a spanner in the works. We were all close, but inevitably when you add physical intimacy or sex to the equation it blurs the lines. My brain kept spiralling between ‘are we friends, colleagues, fuck buddies, in a relationship, did you never want to see me again, were you going to fight if any of us wanted a romantic relationship…’ so yeah, after the last night in America I withdrew into my head and just needed to be with my thoughts - as much as I really really really did not want to sift through them. I knew I needed to for the sake of my mental wellbeing. I hadn’t realised it but those thoughts had been building for quite some time and after all the lessons were over and all rewards or punishments received, those thoughts were relentless and overwhelming. I couldn’t ignore them any longer.”

You couldn’t stop talking. If you did, you were pretty sure you’d bottle everything up until you did what you were best at, running. It wasn’t a fair thought to have, but sadly you were in no state to control the cruelty of your thoughts. You just had to keep speaking and once you finished you hoped they understood. “As I’m sure Minseok and Baek told you, I had a meeting with the managers and Junmyeon to discuss my work and for feedback to be provided. Without going into too much detail, the meeting went well, but my future with SM hangs on your CEO. He was sent video of your ments and interviews while overseas to review as well as feedback from the managers, staff and yourselves. I will either be let go and my boss will find me a contract with another company - which will mean we won’t see each other as much or as freely - or I’ll be kept on one of two contracts with SM. Either an exclusive contract with EXO with allowances for freelance tutoring in my free time within SM, or a contract with SM where I would not be assigned any specific group but would be available at the company to provide lessons for existing artists and trainees. Either of those options would mean we would see more of each other, but the latter would mean we would not be able to speak as freely as we do now with each other.”

“I spent a lot of time stressing about what I wanted to happen and what possible scenarios could happen but I guess professionally any option is good for me as all options mean I remain working in this field and helping others improve their language skills. I stress over large changes in my life, not sure if that is something I’ve ever mentioned, but it’s a thing. Obviously.” You scoffed as you made a vague gesture at yourself and the clear state of stress you were in. “Personally, I don’t want to lose what we have. I cherish each of you and love that we’ve still been able to hang out and play around while we’re all working. I know we’d make it work if I have to go to another company but I know we would see each other significantly less than we do now.”

You took a deep breath. You hadn’t looked at any of them while you spoke. You knew if you saw their eyes you’d stop speaking. So you just couldn’t. Not yet. What if they looked at you with pity, anger, happiness, disgust, or worse - indifference. You could rationalise it if they felt something, but seeing them feel nothing when your mind had been fucking chaos might just be the straw that broke the camels back. You didn’t look at them. “So to sum up, I overthought everything, stressed, spiralled and withdrew from all of you which may or may not have been the right thing to do but I’m here now. I should know in a few days where my future lies work-wise but wanted to open the floor to discuss whatever this relationship we all have now is because I don’t think it is something I can resolve by myself. We don’t have to discuss it now, but I want you to think about it. I don’t know if you view me as a friend or as someone you want to pursue something with, or someone you no longer wish to see. I’m sorry to just dump all of this on you but I need to put it all out there, as much as I can right now anyway.” 

You’d done it. You’d told them what had been going on in your mind. Mostly. You hadn’t discussed your feelings but you’d mentioned all possibilities so that had to count for something. You really just wanted to run and hide, to become invisible rather than be perceived right now, but you knew you had to remain in your spot and hear what they had to say. No matter what it was. 

Chanyeol was the first to speak. He ran his hands through his hair as he tried to keep his tone even. “Not going to lie, this is a lot. I think I speak for all of us when I say that, and I think you know that. I appreciate you opening up to us about what was going on in your head, I'm sure we all do, even if it does leave us with more questions and discussions to have.”

You nodded. It was a lot. You knew it. You’d lived with all of it in your brain. It was only fair to give them time as well. That’s why you’d said you didn’t need to discuss it now.

Minseok was next to speak, he smiled softly at you, his own way of trying to calm your nerves even now. “I don’t think it’s something we should talk about tonight. You know as well as we do that we can be impulsive and that discussions can get heated quickly if we haven’t had time to choose our words. As weird as it will be I think we all need to take some time to think about what we want, and what will work best moving forward.”

You nodded again. You’d used all your words in speaking to them and now could bring yourself to speak. 

“This is going to sound shitty noona, and for that I’m sorry but I don’t think there is a diplomatic way to put it, well at least not one that I can think of right now,” Junmyeon said, sighing as he had to be the guy to say it. “but we do need to consider how it might affect the group if one or more of us are interested in pursuing you, especially if it means some may be rejected. At the end of the day, EXO has to come first, and god I know that’s a shitty thing to say, but it’s something we need to think about and probably talk about amongst ourselves. No offence.” You knew someone would have to raise that point, and it was a valid one, one you’d thought about as well. It did make sense that it was their leader who was the one to say it. After all, he always did put the group above everything else.

You had to speak, nodding wouldn’t suffice in response to that. It would only make him feel like a jerk and that was the last thing you wanted him to feel. You cleared your throat and hoped you said the right things. “All valid points, and don’t worry, there’s no offence taken, Junmyeon. I’d also thought that you should all take some time away from me to think over what you want and to discuss with the group. If one or more of you wanting to pursue me would negatively affect the group then I don’t think anything more than friendship is possible.” 

You paused. Would they think of this option if you didn’t raise it? You weren’t sure. But if it helped them with their deliberations then it was worth the level of embarrassment you were about to feel by simply suggesting it. “I guess the last thing for me to put out there is that after some thinking, I’m not opposed to exploring the possibility of a polyamorous type of situation if that is something you guys land on. However, I’m also not opposed to monogamy or just friendship with all of you. It might sound like I either don’t care that much or that I don’t know what I want, and the latter is somewhat true, but I did draw a line between what we were doing in the rewards versus hanging out outside of that and it prevented me from allowing too many feelings to take root. I’m not sure where any of you stand and I don’t want to know right now either since all of this” You gestured with your hand, waving it vaguely to indicate all of you. “Is so fresh and we all have a lot to consider, or not consider. I don’t know.” Breathe you told yourself. You had to breathe or you’d panic before this conversation ended.  “I’ll hopefully have a follow up meeting in a couple of days and then will know what will be happening with the work aspect of my life. I think we should meet once I know that side of things and chat again? But if you need more time, I would completely understand.”

Not much was said after that. The air was tense and awkward as you all kind of forgot how to act around each other. You stayed for a little while to hear about the plans for their encore concert but as soon as that conversation topic dwindled, you said your goodbyes and headed back to your apartment.

It might be time to call your friend. You were more confused after that meeting and once again on the precipice of a breakdown. You couldn’t wade through this on your own and you couldn’t ask one of the guys for help because this was about them. You couldn’t tell your friend every detail, but you could tell her enough. 

[10:49PM] You: So uh, are you free for that chat?

[10:49PM] Your bestest friend in the whole world: For you? Always. 

***

You awoke the next morning to the sound of a text message notification on your phone. You rubbed your eyes as you tried to focus on the name of the contact who sent the message. You sat up in your bed as soon as your eyes managed to make out that the message was from your boss. Hopefully it was the message you’d been waiting for.

[7:42AM] Mr. Kim: Good morning, I hope you have had sufficient time to relax since returning from the overseas tour with EXO. I had a meeting this morning with SM’s CEO, Lee Soo Man about your performance under the current contract you have with SM and what his thoughts were for your potential future prospects at the company. I’ve scheduled a meeting for us at midday at my office. I’ll see you in a few hours to discuss. 

If you were half awake at the start of that message, you were wide awake now. Of course a meeting is called the day after you dropped what felt like a literal bomb on your nine upstairs neighbours. You had just over four hours to freshen up and get yourself over to his office. Not that you were nervous… not at all… not even a little bit. It wasn’t like the outcome of this meeting determined the future of your career or anything. No, shut up. You tried telling your mind as it attempted to spiral before any form of carb or sugar entered your system. You repeated your father’s words over in your head as you picked out clothes for the meeting, a simple and professional outfit that you would not anxiety sweat through before you even reached Mr. Kim’s office. You showered and got yourself ready for the day and whatever it would bring. Maybe it would be better once it was all over, then you could stop overthinking and fretting about every possible outcome. That wasn’t how you liked doing things but it seemed to be what happened whenever it was important to you. When you cared.

Just before you left the apartment you sent a message to the group chat so that everyone was kept up to date.

[10:25AM] You: Hey, just a heads up that I’m on my way to a meeting now. LSM has made his decision and I’ll know my work fate in a couple of hours. I know I suggested meeting again after I had my meeting but given I literally only proposed everything to you last night, I’ll bench our talk until you guys have had time to deliberate and all that. Just reach out when you want to chat and I’ll make myself available. 

It felt clinical and not how you’d ever spoken to them when there was no one to overhear your conversations. It felt like how you spoke to them when one of their managers was present. It felt wrong and something in your heart hurt. There was no response, but you could see the members slowly reading your message. Sehun reacted to it with a thumbs up message which then spurred everyone into chatting, mainly to scold Sehun but seeing the chat alive again felt right.

You put your phone on do not disturb mode as you approached Mr. Kim’s office, coffee in hand. Not the iced variety that was so popular among idols. No, the purpose of this coffee was not to keep you awake, rather it was to give you a caffeine hit as well as comfort you with its warmth. You were always nervous when it came time for a performance review, but unlike last time with Blackpink, you were a lot closer with the members of EXO and their staff. Unlike last time you knew that you had done your job successfully, you’d been present to witness the members grow in their language skills and watched them deliver their ments to their American audiences with little to no translation required. The only slip was the night Baekhyun forgot his lines, but the following shows he required no assistance.

Once you arrived, Mr. Kim’s secretary ushered you into his office, telling you he was just finishing up a meeting in another room and would be with you shortly. Thankfully you did not have to wait long before he entered the room. He smiled and greeted you warmly then moved to sit at his desk. You’d been in this room a few times now and it was always nerve wracking. 

“Once again I can tell that you are eager to hear your evaluation.” He chuckled.

You nodded. “Apparently my face hides nothing from you.”

“Actually your face is not what gave you away, it was the fidgeting fingers this time.” He pointed at your free hand which was unfortunately fidgeting with the buckle on your handbag.

Your fingers stilled, but you itched to keep busy with something. Anything to get the frenetic energy out of your system. “You got me. Now please put me out of my misery already and give me my evaluation.”

Lucky for you, he prided himself on business and got right to it. You never had to endure too much small talk with him. It was a much more pleasant experience than the managers you had back before moving here. They seemed to want to spend up to ten minutes chatting about nothing before switching to business mode. That was not the Mr. Kim way. His way was better. For you at least. Mr. Kim pulled a file up on his computer and turned the screen so that you could see it as well. “As you already know from the last time we did this, we assess you in three areas. 1. How well the tasks were performed 2. How you worked with the clients and 3. Work ethic/professionalism. I’ve reviewed the recording of the last meeting you had during the tour as well as received feedback from the SM CEO.” 

He clicked on a file and opened it. “This is a review of the tasks performed. As you can see, it was unanimous across the board that you have excelled in this area. You successfully prepared the members for their interviews and concert ments, improving their English significantly. You joined the group on tour and no issues were reported by staff or the members, nor did you appear in any fan reports or cause any scandals.” He paused to look at you, a knowing smile on his face. “But you already know this from your meeting with the managers and Junmyeon. I’ll only add the feedback from their CEO. He said he was impressed that someone of your young age was able to successfully complete these tasks to the level that you did, he made special mention of the tailored lessons as a genius move on your part. He noted that whilst it would be an arduous task for all clients, it worked for EXO in ways no one expected. They have not had this level of success in teaching a group that didn’t already have a member with a decent grasp on English or a native English speaker. He was also very impressed that you were able to fit in and work seamlessly with a well established team.” Mr Kim paused, signalling that you could now speak before he addressed the next criterion.

So far things were going well. Logically you knew that you had succeeded in your role, but it was always a relief to hear it. Hearing from your boss and the head of the group's company eradicated the last of the anxiety you felt about your ability as a teacher. “Thank you Mr Kim. I felt that I was succeeding in my role and I am glad to have that confirmed by the head of their company, but I do have to ask what he meant about my age?”

“Most translators or teaching staff that are brought in are older than you. Especially when it comes to English. There is a greater risk when idols are involved and most companies specifically request someone over 40 to be assigned so that there could never be any misunderstandings around the nature of the relationship.” He replied.

Your brow furrowed. “Then how did I get the job? I’m significantly younger than that, even if I’m still older than the members.” 

He smiled smugly. “Ah well that was me. I know companies prefer older staff, especially when they are working with the opposite sex, but I had a hunch that you would succeed where others had failed with EXO. Their CEO reluctantly agreed to trial you and had to admit he was pleasantly surprised after receiving the one month evaluations of the members progress.” 

Noticing that you weren’t going to add any more to that discussion, Mr. Kim moved on. He scrolled through the document until he reached the heading indicating the second criterion. “Before I move into discussing the external evaluations I would like to say that I am personally very impressed that you took on the feedback provided after your time with Blackpink and applied it to EXO. You managed to become more familiar with them and it shows in the reviews from the others. I strongly believe that this improvement is what made this job such a success for you.” He gestured towards you. “So I wanted to commend you on the large improvement in this area.”

You smiled. “Thank you Mr. Kim. Your advice was intrinsic to the development of the tailored lessons as well as my comfortability in becoming closer with the members so that we could work together to the best of our abilities.”

“As you know from the feedback from both managers and members, you exceeded expectations in this area, and everyone benefited from your approach. The CEO questioned whose idea it was for you to become closer to the members and expressed the concerns he had about it. Once I explained that it was feedback that you had been given from myself and the reasons why I felt it would improve outcomes, especially given your closeness in age to any 2nd or 3rd gen idols in comparison to the on staff teachers who were usually around the same age as the idols parents he understood. He stated that whilst he had his reservations about that kind of approach given the potential issues that could arise, dating scandals, sasaeng accusations, unprofessionalism etc. he could see how it worked in the members favour. The group had undergone quite a few hardships prior to this comeback, with members leaving and dating scandals damaging their public image. He stated that they were likely to be quite reserved and untrustworthy of someone new to their staff and that it would take a long time for them to begin to trust a new staff member. However, you managed to make them feel comfortable and not lose the authority you had over them as their teacher, whilst remaining respectful at all times. He said he was very pleasantly surprised by this.” He sat back in his chair while you processed his words. Mr. Kim had only had meetings with you a handful of times before this, but he already knew to let you take a moment while his words sunk in before having you respond. 

A weight lifted off your shoulders. Yes, you recalled the nature of the meeting you had with the managers and Junmyeon whilst overseas, but your brain had managed to twist their inarguably positive feedback into statements that you had turned over in your mind repeatedly as you second guessed every moment you’d spent with the members. Knowing that the CEO was reviewing all of the work you had completed overseas had stressed you more than you had realised. It was as if you could feel the tension leaving your body every time Mr. Kim read out his feedback. 

“I’m glad my efforts have been recognised, and that I’ve shown improvement in this area. I also understand the concerns their CEO had. We had meetings with the members and their managers regarding safety and security of both the members and myself to ensure no photos were snapped if we were not on a schedule. The last thing any of us wanted to do was bring negative attention to this working relationship. We also discussed at length the boundaries we should draw in order to not become overly familiar with each other and I believe that assisted greatly.” It wasn’t a lie as such. You really did have those meetings and you really did discuss those boundaries. It was just the managers weren’t present for the third meeting which involved you and the members working out how to put each other in line if any of you slipped and a glimpse of how close you really were slipped through. It was a miracle nothing ever happened in view of other staff or the public, but there were a couple of close calls. You’d all been very lucky in that regard.

Mr. Kim powered on. “On to the final point, we’ve never had any issues with your work ethic or professionalism, and neither have the members or managers. Their feedback was passed on to the CEO, who praised you for being available at short notice in order to fit with the members busy schedules. He was also very happy that the members did not abuse this clause in your contract but rather made sure the others were aware if one of them had required you early in the morning or late at night so that they could avoid overworking you.” Mr. Kim closed the document. “I’ll be honest, he got rather sidetracked at this point and spent a good ten minutes praising his EXO boys. I can assure you that he was very pleased with both your work ethic and professionalism. He agreed with the manager's statements that you clearly succeeded at your role, exceeding all expectations that were had of you.” He chuckled as he shook his head. “But once he starts talking about those boys it is hard to shut him up. You’d think they were his sons sometimes.”

You allowed yourself a pleased hum at the feedback you’d received. High marks in all areas of assessment. Exceeded expectations, exemplary results. “Thank you Mr. Kim. I’m very glad that my hard work paid off and that my approach was successful for the members.” You paused. “However, as much as I want to just bask in this feedback, I am too curious about my contract. Did their CEO happen to mention if he planned to renew my contract, or are you finding me a new group to work with?” You needed to know, and you needed to know like two weeks ago at this point. 

Mr. Kim, to his credit, did not outright laugh at your impatience. Instead he opened a drawer and pulled out a manila folder. “I understand that this must have been weighing on your mind these past few weeks.” 

You nodded. “You would be very correct.”

“He did come to a decision. I won’t draw this out as I can tell you just want me to get to the point. He was incredibly impressed by your determination and competency, and as we all know, the results speak for themselves. He does want to offer another contract, however it would differ from your current one.” He stated.

“How so?” You asked.

“Firstly, this contract would not commence until three months from now.” He explained. “They want you to continue your work with the company, working with all of their artists. EXO would take priority if and when they have any overseas schedules that would require them to speak English. The rest of the time you would assist whichever groups or artists he deems in need of your skills. You would also offer lessons in the company like you did whilst EXO were in Japan during your contract.” Mr. Kim slid the folder across the table for you to pick up and look over. 

“I am grateful to have the opportunity to continue to work with SM. Like I said in my meeting overseas, I have been treated exceptionally well by their company, its staff and idols and welcomed the opportunity to continue working with EXO, be assigned to another group within the company or as an in-house teacher/translator.” Well there it was, they had offered another contract. You could keep working for SM, potentially with the guys as long as their schedules required English, but you’d still be in the same building as them. There was a decent break before commencement which was nice, but you did have concerns about your income. Not working for three months would be a struggle for you financially. “I do have questions regarding the three month break in between contracts though.”

“I believe my next statement should cover whatever concerns you have.” He directed your attention to another section of the new contract. “During that time, SM has stated that they will contact you for freelance work if/when required but that you are also not exclusively bound to the label during that time, so you can assist other companies and artists. This will allow you to continue to earn income and gain further experience in this field. I will also say that you will find in the proposed contract that your fees have increased. I did not consult you on that, but felt that you had every right to request a higher rate given the success of your work thus far. I would encourage you to take a break for a couple of weeks, more if you wanted to take this opportunity to visit home, before letting me know you are ready for some more work with other artists. I do have one group in particular that I think would work for this short timeframe. They have not yet debuted but they do have varying levels of proficiency in English, varying from fluency to what is taught in our schools here.” He waved a hand in front of his face as he realised he’d said too much. “But that is a discussion for another date, I’m getting ahead of myself.”

You smiled, genuinely too. This was wonderful news and it settled a large part of your anxiety to have secured more work, especially work that would require little change. “Thank you Mr. Kim. I’ll take this contract home to review but it sounds promising. I think I will take a couple of weeks off to rest and recuperate, but I would like to request a clause be added to this contract. I understand that I may have some further changes to request, but I’m reasonably certain this one won’t already be in there.”

“What would that request be?” He asked.

“An allowance for one or two weeks of consecutive leave within the next 6 months for me to visit my family. I’m not ready to make a trip home yet, but I know I will be during that time period and I don’t wish to be told that I cannot go. I would provide sufficient notice for the leave, unless there was an emergency, so as to not hinder the progress of their artists' lessons.” In your mind it sounded reasonable, and you’d heard of difficulties with obtaining leave from work in Korea, so you wanted to safeguard yourself as best as you could. 

“I’ll have our lawyers make the addition. We’ll hold off sending it to SM until you’ve read through the contract and made any other amendments.” He stood and shook your hand. “You’ve done well so far, and I continue to be impressed with your work.”

The meeting ended shortly after that which you were glad for. The feedback was self esteem boosting, and proved to yourself that you had done a great job, that your hard work had not only paid off but had been noticed. You also managed to tell yourself that your closeness with the guys wasn’t the sole factor for your success, they really did suck at English before your lessons and whilst the sex during the rewards and punishments was great, you were pretty sure you couldn’t learn a language purely from fucking. Somewhere along the lines, your lessons struck a chord with them and they wanted to learn, so they did, and it stuck. That was a job well done by you. 

After you left Mr. Kim’s office you put your phone back in normal mode.The group chat had been busy these past few hours. Message notifications flooded your phone as you began the commute home. They had pinned a message so that you wouldn’t miss it once you finally checked your phone.

[11:48AM] Minseok: Please tell us when you finish your meeting. Kyungsoo wants you to come up for dinner so you can tell all of us what the outcome was. 

The messages after were a chorus of predictions and bickering. 

[11:51AM] Jongin: I think SM will do another contract.

[11:51AM] Sehun: Well duh. They’d be stupid to let her help our competitors.

[11:52AM] Jongdae: Noona could make some sweet demands if they offer a new contract.

[11:52AM] Kyungsoo: Yeah, make SM work for it. Lord knows they’ve fucked over too many idols in contracts. If they offer a new one MAKE A LAWYER LOOK AT IT.

[11:53AM] Yixing: Make demands of your own too. Make that thing benefit you, coz if they offer a new contract it means they want to stop you from working with other companies.

[11:53AM] Chanyeol: MAKE. SM. WORK. FOR. YOU. You’ll have the upper hand and they don’t want you to know that.

[11:54AM] Baekhyun: Yeah, fuck SM!!!

[11:54AM] Junmyeon: Guys… 

[11:54AM] Minseok: Idk man, all I see is valid points being made.

[11:55AM] Junmyeon: I… you were meant to be on my side Minseok.

[11:55AM] Minseok: I never promised that. 

[11:55AM] Minseok: Fuck SM. 

[11:56AM] Kyungsoo: So I think we might be doing the opposite of encouraging you to consider taking another contract with them if they offer. What we mean to say is, have someone look over the contract, make some demands (because they have to acknowledge your worth now) and know that our disdain for our company comes from the nature of idol contracts which are VERY different to the kind of contract you would be offered. 

[11:56AM] Junmyeon: Thank you!

[11:57AM] Kyungsoo: Stop making me do your job man. 

There were another 500 messages after that (which you did not read), but you made sure to send one as requested

[3:30PM] You: Holy crap that is a lot of messages. No offence but I am not reading through all of them. As requested, I’m letting you know that I’ve finished my meeting. I’m heading back to the apartment now. What time do you want me up there for dinner?

[3:30PM] Kyungsoo: Food should be ready at 7 PM. 

[3:30PM] You: I’ll see everyone then.

***

“Noona, can we talk before you come up for dinner?” You’d picked up on the first ring when you’d seen Baekhyun’s name pop up.

He sounded unsure of himself, which was a rarity. “Sure Baek. Is everything ok?”

“I think so? I hope so.” He groaned in frustration. “Ugh I don’t know.”

Now you were getting concerned. Was he ok? “What’s going on?”

“I’ve been thinking about everything you talked about last night and I think I understand why you had to just unload everything all at once to us.” He took a deep breath. “My brain has been working too much and making too many scenarios for me to keep up with.” 

Well that you could relate to. You really didn’t wish the clusterfuck that had been your thoughts over this past week on anyone, so you empathised with Baek if he was suffering with the downward spiral that too many thoughts inevitably brought. “I get that. Would it help if you just tell me everything?”

He was quiet for a moment as he thought over his options. Quite likely he was worried that speaking to you would only make things worse. That’s precisely what made you a nervous wreck before you word vomited all over their living room last night. “Maybe. Might make everything worse, I don’t know.”

You tried to sound reassuring. It was always easier for you to provide comfort in person or via text. Over the phone was some strange middle ground where you didn’t always stick the landing. “It’s just me. Since when have we ever not been able to talk to each other?”

“You’re right.” He said. “Fuck. Ok.” Yeah, he was nervous. Should you be nervous? Was he about to reject you? Was he going to confess? No. You needed to remain as calm as possible. He was the one allowed to freak out right now, not you. 

You pushed your growing anxiety down and said as reassuringly as you could. “I’m right here. Promise.”

You heard him take a steadying breath before he started speaking. “I guess I’ve been trying to work out where things stand between us.” He said. “It’s never just been friendship between you and I. There was always flirtation and we only got bolder with it as time went on until we had sex, which I know was as a result of my lesson, but I don’t know, we only had the lesson because we were about to fuck and you stopped it from happening until after that. I guess it felt like more than just because of the reward stuff I guess. It felt like something that was inevitable, like we were orbiting each other until we would ultimately collide.” He took a breath, meanwhile your heart was hammering in your chest. 

“I know we’ve discussed it and both agreed that there was something more there, some kind of feelings neither of us had addressed. I don’t know how you feel now, but for me, after we slept together those feelings only intensified. I still didn’t know what they were so I just assumed they were born from lust but when you asked for space and then went silent for days I realised that they weren’t feelings of lust. I realised that I care deeply for you and the very thought of you not being in my life hurt me to my very core. I know it was just sex for you and everyone else but for me, I can’t say for sure, but I think I like you as far more than a friend and would not be satisfied just being a fuck buddy. I know I said I would never entertain us ever being able to actually be a real thing but I want that so much that it is physically painful. I needed to tell you before we all talked tonight because I want to be selfish and pursue you myself but I don’t know where you stand. I don’t know if I’m making a fool of myself right now and you’re thinking of the nicest way to reject me or if you don’t know how you feel or if you feel the same. All I know is that I barely slept last night after I realised all of this and I had to say something.”

“Baek,” You started.

He didn’t let you get the words out, not that you even knew what those words would be. So maybe him interrupting you was for the best right now. “I know this is a lot to dump on you, I know that, but I needed to say it.”

You weren’t sure if you were ready to tell him everything you realised on your call last night. It was still too confusing. Still too fresh. But you also couldn’t leave him hanging with nothing after he just poured his heart out to you. “You know I have feelings for you, just that at the time I didn’t know what those feelings were.”

“Have you worked it out since then?” He all but whispered, as though he was scared of what your response would be. 

You couldn’t say it yet. You couldn’t say it until you believed it yourself. It wasn’t fair to him, but you couldn’t bring yourself to utter the words back to him. Not yet. “I think so but I’m not sure. I am so scared of ruining everything Baek.”

“I’ll let you think some more, but I want you to know that for me it is about much more than sex now. So think about how you feel and ask yourself if you feel the way you feel about me with anyone else?” He tried his best not to sound deflated, but you didn’t miss the pang of hurt in his voice as he spoke. He’d just confessed to you and whilst you hadn’t rejected him, you hadn’t reciprocated his feelings. You felt overwhelmed. You needed to say something, but what? What could you possibly say when you weren’t ready to admit how you felt, when you were too terrified to ask for what you wanted.”

You had to say something. For him, you couldn’t just leave him with nothing. “I -”

He cut you off again, though this time it was probably out of fear that you would reject his confession. “Don’t answer now. Just think about it and we’ll talk later. Bye noona.” He hung up before you could attempt to speak again.

You hung your head in shame. Why couldn’t you just tell him? You didn’t realise you were crying until you felt a tear hit your hand. You sank to the floor and let yourself cry for a few minutes, too overwhelmed with emotion to even try to stop the tears from falling. You felt guilty for not being able to tell him how you felt, for feeling like you were toying with his heart. This sweet, funny and endearing man, who had been so good to you. When he needed you the most, you’d choked. You didn’t deserve the feelings he harboured for you, how could you if you couldn’t even respond to him. How could you be deserving of that love when you all but pushed him away. 

By some stroke of luck your eyes weren’t too red or puffy when you checked them before leaving your apartment. You really hoped your night didn’t end with you returning to this apartment to cry over a ruined relationship. There was only one way to find out, and in order to do that, you needed to walk out your front door and head upstairs.

***

“Alright, how did the meeting go?” Sehun broke the silence that was permeating the dinner table. Everyone had greeted you when you’d arrived, and made some small talk about their day. That felt strange. You’d never lacked for conversation with these men, but now they seemed to be walking on eggshells around you and you weren’t sure if it was because they were trying to protect themselves or you from where this evening went.

Regardless, you decided to put on a brave face and do your best to hear them out without breaking down. You felt exposed, fragile and breakable. But you pretended otherwise as best as you could. You just hoped they couldn’t see through the facade. “Really well. The feedback was all very positive and everyone agreed that I did an excellent job. Your CEO expressed his concerns about my boss and the managers suggesting that we be more personable but he agreed that the fact that we did that probably served as a catalyst for the success of the lessons.”

“That’s fantastic news!” Jongin said, far louder than he or anyone else at the table were prepared for. Everyone, Jongin included, jumped a little at his volume. He muttered a bashful apology afterwards, stating that he was just really happy for you.

You smiled at him. He was so very different to what the general public saw when he was onstage. He was soft spoken and endearing beyond words. “I’m also really grateful for the feedback you guys provided. I didn’t get a chance to say it before so I’ll say it now, thank you. Your words meant so much to me.” It was the honest truth. You had no idea that they would be asked for feedback about your work, and while they could have provided generic positive feedback they didn’t. Instead they provided in depth feedback about your abilities and how well you had worked with them. You would be forever grateful for the kind words contained in their feedback.

Kyungsoo decided to add to the conversation, his soft yet commanding voice cutting through your thoughts. “Bias aside, you earned that feedback. We did our best to only give the facts and not let our friendship cloud our opinions of you.”

“You cannot deny that we sucked at English before you noona.” Chanyeol quipped, laughing as he spoke.

Junmyeon looked personally attacked by his words. “Speak for yourself!”

“No, he’s right. We were bad at it.” Minseok laughed. “Like really fucking awful.”

Yixing pushed the food around on his plate with his chopsticks. “Anyway, uh, not to be pushy or anything but did you talk about what’s next for you?” He briefly locked eyes with you before diverting his gaze back to his plate.

“Yeah we did. Uh, they offered me another contract.” You saw all nine heads suddenly turn towards you and felt their gazes on you. “I do have to read over it and make sure it's fair but essentially they want to put me on contract for another 2 years. If EXO has schedules requiring English, then me teaching you takes priority over other groups, otherwise I’m free to work with any artists under the SM umbrella. Your CEO may assign me a group to work with, or managers may request my help. If no one requests then I’m kind of an in-house teacher/translator.”

Jongdae grinned. “I’m not going to lie, I’m glad they offered you more work, they would have been idiots not to, but it does mean you won’t be a stranger.”

Minseok was more hesitant as he spoke.“What are your thoughts on it, just based on the offer given you haven’t read it yet.”

You sat back in your chair, contemplating your response. “I’ve only had good experiences with SM so far, so the offer sounds good to me. I know a lot of the staff, I know the building, the resources, I know some of the artists, obviously I know all of you and work well with you. It feels like a good choice over starting anew elsewhere and hoping that I’m treated as well as I am here.” You smiled a little. “Plus, I get to see you guys if I’m still here, that’s a bonus.” 

A smile finally formed on Minseok’s face. “I know we may have come across a bit brash earlier but,”

“Oh don’t worry. I already had a copy sent to a lawyer to look over it, and I also made a request for a leave allotment to be added into the contract.” You cut him off, already guessing what he was referring to from the earlier flood of messages. “Once I read through it myself I’ll discuss it with my lawyer and make any other changes that need doing then return it to Mr. Kim to negotiate for me.”

The unanimous response that came from all of them was creepily synchronised. “Good.” 

You thanked all of them for their kind words again. “The contract won’t start for a few months, so until then I’m likely going to be freelancing. Mr. Kim has an idea of another group I can work with briefly before I become exclusive to SM. I think I’m going to take a couple of weeks off before committing to any of that though. I need some time to recalibrate.” 

“Uh I guess that brings us to the elephant in the room.” Junmyeon said.

You waved your hands in front of you, not sure you would ever be ready for this conversation, but after how well the contract renewal offer had just gone you were apprehensive about the ‘what are we’ conversation. “Oh, we really don’t have to talk about it yet. I only mentally unloaded on all of you last night so if you need to take more time before discussing with me, please do.”

He chuckled awkwardly. “That’s the funny thing I think. Without really realising it we have discussed it over the past few months as things progressed.”

“Oh.”

He straightened in his seat and looked directly at you. “Yeah. We kind of realised that last night when we started trying to discuss it.” He shifted, trying to get comfortable in his head. That was the only sign you had that he was equally as nervous about this conversation as you were. “I think we should each just speak for ourselves and then go from there?” He offered.

All you could do was nod. “That seems fair.” This was happening. You weren’t sure you were prepared for it, regardless of what they said. 

“As the leader I’ll go first.” He shifted again, this time his eyes looked everywhere but you as he spoke. “I, well, uh, I’ve actually just started seeing someone. It’s very early days but I really like her and want to pursue things with her. My parents introduced us and weirdly we kind of hit it off, which is not what usually happens when my parents play matchmaker.” 

You thought you’d feel sad at being told someone wasn’t romantically interested in you, because that’s what this was right? He was dating someone and he really liked them. But rather than feeling like you’d been stabbed in the heart you felt happy for him. “So at present, pursuing anything other than friendship with you isn’t something I’m interested in. I also think we work better as friends and don’t want to lose the relationship we’ve got. We did have the least amount of sexual interaction so I don’t think it will have any impact on our friendship moving forward.” Once he finished speaking he lifted his gaze to you, apprehensively since he wasn’t sure how you’d react, but he visibly relaxed when he saw you beaming at him. “As long as a potential relationship with another member or members doesn’t leave anyone unsatisfied from the start then I give my blessings.”

“Are we going in age order?” Sehun asked.

Chanyeol replied. “That’s boring, just go in seating order.” 

“Fine.” Sehun sighed, resigned to his fate of being the next to speak. “Noona, I cannot deny that my punishment was fun and that I experienced more than I ever thought I would. But for me it was never that deep I guess.” He shrugged. “The punishment/reward was an opportunity to explore some fantasies with no strings attached with a person who I trusted. I think I’d be a shitty boyfriend to you as well, I can barely take care of myself, and it wouldn’t be fair to you to put up with that burden. I’m not boyfriend material yet.” He wasn’t wrong about that. He always turned up unannounced, never read the room, stole all your chocolates and sulked if he wasn’t the centre of attention. Well, not always, but it happened more than it probably should. Maknae privileges. “However, I am excellent bestie material. So I’d like to remain a very good friend to you.” You’d been rejected as a romantic partner but once again, you didn’t feel sad. Sehun was an excellent friend to have. He loved chatting so he always had good gossip and he was so beloved that he could almost get away with murder. He smiled softly at you, hoping you weren’t disappointed in his choice. 

Kyungsoo took a sip from his glass of water before grounding himself and speaking. “There are circumstances where I could see myself truly falling for you. You have a lot of the qualities that I look for in a partner. But I have to be truly honest with myself, and if I do that then I have to say that right now, I am so insanely career driven - both with music and acting. It doesn’t leave much time to fit in a relationship in a way that is fair to either person.” Logical reasoning. You understood that, but much like you had forced yourself to do last night, you wondered where his heart lay in this. “Our reward was incredibly fun, and something I would do again in a heartbeat, but it would be with no strings attached. I value your friendship above everything else and I also think that whilst you put poly on the table as an option, and it is not something I’m opposed to, I can’t ignore the fact that Baekhyun clearly has feelings for you that run deeper than I originally thought. So I think it would be unfair to pursue anything with you to see if feelings develop when one of us is already carrying that torch for you.” 

You were shocked. Baekhyun barely even reacted to Kyungsoo’s words, something that unnerved you. You could feel him staring at you. Was he that obvious to them? Had he told them? Kyungsoo wanted to simply remain friends, and if he wasn’t so aware of how Baekhyun felt then he would have been fine to have a friends with benefits kind of situationship going on. You weren’t really sure what to do with that information. It was very flattering, but did you want to entertain someone who wasn’t sure if they had feelings for you? 

Too impatient to wait to see if you were going to respond to anything that had just been said, Jongin began speaking. “You have been one of my closest friends since the start. You looked after me when the guys were on tour while I was injured and we hung out so much. I think we bonded over fried chicken and movies.” He smiled fondly at the memory. “You were one of the first people that I’ve met since we debuted who wanted to know me for me, not for who I was as an idol. I agree with hyung, there is a future where I could see myself falling for you under the right circumstances, you’re kind of loveable like that noona, but I would trade that possibility in an instant for your friendship. It means the world to me. I also think there’s one of us who has real feelings for you and it makes me giddy to think of the two of you together.” Did he also mean Baekhyun or was there another member harbouring feelings for you?

The chair next to Jongin scraped on the floor as Jongdae tried to adjust his sitting position. If he’d been going to cool, calm and collected - he’d failed. He looked stressed beyond belief. Was it him? Did he have feelings for you? “Ok so, like the others I cannot deny how highly I value your friendship,” Ok so not him then. “or the fact that I am a person with two working eyes and have spent too much time around Baekhyun to not notice his feelings for you.” You glanced at Baekhyun who still seemed to be checked out of the conversation, even with his eyes locked on you. His gaze was somehow blank and intense at the same time. Did he not care what anyone else was saying about you? Was he really going to be that selfish? He said he wanted you to himself but did that mean that if anyone else at this table confessed that you’d have to reject both of them? Because if he was going to be this indifferent, especially when they kept talking about his feelings for you, then surely picking one person would only lead to a rift forming within the group. “All of that said, I’ve also kind of been seeing someone. And I like her, like a lot, like an insufferable amount. 

Minseok saw the opportunity to chime in. “He dreamt about having kids with her last night.” He smirked.

Jongdae looked mortified. “SHUT UP. Um, yeah. So that’s a thing and I just want my friend who I can ask questions to when I’m about to fuck everything up with my possible future wife. God I sound lame, I’m just going to stop talking now.” He sunk down in his chair, put his forehead on the table and banged it against the wood a few times. Minseok and a few others tried really hard not to laugh at him, but they failed miserably.

Chanyeol’s eyes darted around the table as he decided to try and pull focus from Jongdae, who appeared like he was waiting for the ground to open up and swallow him whole. “I uh, yeah I’m not dating anyone per se, but I’m also not looking to be tied down in a relationship right now.” Sehun snorted. “God, I sound like such a fuckboy saying that, but I think you kind of awoke some sort of confidence in me and I just want to play the field.” You heard a muttered “And absolutely no one is surprised you moron.” from Kyungsoo and had to stifle a laugh as Chanyeol continued to speak. 

“I care for you a lot, and I know one of us cares deeply for you so I want to leave things with us as friends. You’re interesting and fun to be around, you’re competitive in silly games and aren’t a sore loser. Hah, I could probably learn a thing or two from you there. Anyway, yeah. That’s me done.” Again someone saying that another member had feelings for you, but not specifying who. So did he mean Baek or did Yixing or Minseok also harbour feelings for you?  You were surprised how at peace you felt with everyone only wanting friendship from you - so far. Kyungsoo admitting he’d fuck you again in a heartbeat had shocked you. That man was usually much more reserved than that. 

Yixing was sitting next to you so he turned to you as he spoke. “Ah my sweet lady. I like you a lot,” He took your hand, his thumb caressing the back of your palm gently. “and honestly if I let myself I could so easily fall for you, but I’m also a workaholic to a fault. I have such high ambitions and drive for myself that I tend to fill up every minute I’m not on a schedule with more work.” He laughed. “If it weren’t for these guys, I’d probably forget to sleep.” He paused and you felt the room somehow grow even quieter. What the fuck was he about to drop on you that everyone else this still? “I’m also headed back to China in a few weeks and, ah this sucks,” He hung his head, clearly upset about having to leave Korea again. “I don’t know when I’ll get to come back this time. The political climate has never been great between our two countries but right now it is really tense.” 

Ah, that explained the feeling in the room. He was leaving and no one knew when or if he would return. You felt sad. You were going to miss him a lot, as were the rest of the guys. He always worked too hard when he was away from the group because no one on his team in China seemed to grasp how hard he would work himself unless they forced him to stop and take a rest. You returned your attention to the man in front of you. He sighed sadly. “So I’m going back and working on music as a soloist, working on some acting projects and would hopefully be back next year for our new album, but it's all kind of up in the air. I couldn’t burden you with any of the long distance crap and it wouldn’t be fair to either of us to even try to date and explore any feelings we may have when there would be such difficulty actually seeing each other. It will be a big enough strain on our friendship so whoever does end up dating you has my full support as long as they let me smother you with hugs when I return.” You were confused. His words made it seem like if it weren’t for returning to China, that he would want to date you, but he hadn’t said that he had feelings for you, just that he could see himself having feelings. Was it kind of like Kyungsoo’s situation? You let go of his hand as Chanyeol pulled him backwards into a big hug.

Minseok tapped you on the shoulder to get you to turn towards him. He smiled softly at you then took a deep breath. “Alright then.” He started. You knew he hated airing his business in front of others so regardless of what he was about to say, it was likely stressing him out. “Ah, well you and I probably had the most sex out of the group given the fuck buddy arrangement we’ve had going on. It was mostly stress relief and if we weren’t to have a physical relationship anymore, I don’t think it would drastically change our relationship. I value my movie nights with you over sex so ultimately I don’t want to lose my friendship with you. I trust you implicitly and we’ve both seen each other's ugly sides and haven’t run away from them. I could see circumstances where we pursue a romantic relationship, but like yourself, I haven’t really allowed my feelings to come into play so I’d be content just being your friend.” He glanced towards Baekhyun, who was staring at you. “Like the others, I also cannot ignore Baekhyun’s feelings towards you. I in no way want to come between what could be something beautiful between the two of you.”

Baekhyun doesn’t speak. He hasn’t said a word since you set foot in the dorm and he hasn’t averted his gaze from you the entire time. You could feel it boring into you while everyone spoke. He hadn’t said anything to correct anyone about his feelings for you and it seemed like he had no plans to speak in front of them either. You gave him a few moments to see if he was going to say anything, and noticed the way the others all looked towards him when he chose to remain silent.

You decided to respond to everyone else. Just because Baekhyun was choosing to be silent for the first time in his life didn’t mean it was fair to leave the eight other men in the lurch after they had all just told you how they felt. They needed to know how you were feeling about everything. “Well ok, this makes everything easier. After we spoke last night I did a lot more thinking about our relationships and where I wanted to stand with each of you. I came to the conclusion that your friendship means more to me than anything else and so with that, I was going to say that I think it is for the best that we don’t sleep together anymore. It kind of worked out well that all of you landed on that conclusion as well. Like some of you said, there are circumstances where I could see myself falling for you, but I’m also aware of how that would not be fair to explore, given everything. I love each of you in my own way, and I’m so happy that I get to keep my friends.” You could actually hear the en masse exhale that they let out once they heard you speak. They hadn’t hurt your feelings and everything was going to be ok. “The only thing I’ll ask, actually no - it’s more of a demand at this point - is that you stop being so awkward around me now. Things can go back to how they were, just don’t cross the line into being too inappropriate.”

They all laugh and agree, and just like that the strange tension that had surrounded the dorm disappears. However, one cloud of tension remains, concentrated solely around Baekhyun. He dropped his gaze when you’d spoken and hadn’t lifted it from the floor since. If anyone was worried about Baekhyun’s silence, they didn’t show it. You’d have to take him aside and speak with him soon enough. You’d promised to talk to him tonight. 

You continued to tell everyone how happy you were that they all wanted to remain friends with you, whilst also pressing Junmyeon and Jongdae for details about their dating life. You can practically see the hearts in their eyes when they talk about the new women in their lives and honestly, you couldn’t be happier for them. Poly was a fun idea to put on the table but it was never going to work long term for these guys. Logistically, emotionally or publicly. So it was for the best that none of you decided to venture down that path. 

Once everyone began to disperse you moved towards Baek and asked “Baek, can we speak privately?.” He shrugged but didn’t say no. He didn’t say anything. You walked towards his room and he followed you. You weren’t sure what the shift in him was from earlier this evening. Earlier he seemed like he wanted to date you, but now he wouldn’t even look at you and he looked so dejected and sullen, like he was fighting off tears. “Hey, Baek. Are you ok?” You asked. You wanted to reach out to comfort him but you weren’t sure if that would make matters worse. You had no idea what he was feeling.

He nodded in response, still not uttering a word. 

“Sweetie, you need to speak to me if you want me to believe you.”

“I’m just.” He sighed, “I guess I’m just struggling. Like of course I want to keep you as a friend, not having you in my life would be too hard, but I guess I was really hoping you’d work out your feelings for me as more than that.” He stared at the ceiling as he tried to remain calm but you could tell he was beginning to crack. “I know it wouldn’t be easy dating me, not because of who I am as a person, but because I’m an idol. Like we’d have to be secretive and couldn’t be all couply and go on normal dates like normal couples and maybe you don’t want to date someone who has to hide you. It’s just hard coz I realised all these feelings recently and now I’ve gotta reconcile with them and stuff them away. Which I will do, you are too important to me to not still be friends, but not gonna lie, it’ll be hard for me for a while I think.”

He just wanted to be friends now? But when he’d spoken to you earlier, he said he wanted so much more than that. You were so confused. “Baek, what are you on about?”

His head snapped back to stare at you incredulously. “What am I on about?!” He exclaimed, clearly frustrated and hurt. “You just told all of us that you want to remain friends with us. After I told you about how I felt earlier. So I guess I am not doing great with the rejection ok?”

Oh. Oh. Oh no. He’d misunderstood horribly. You’d responded to the others because they’d spoken. None of what you said at the table was for him because he hadn’t spoken. “No, oh my god no, you’ve misunderstood.” 

He looked so hurt, close to breaking as he responded. “What?”

You tried to remain calm, hoping it would make him calm. “Baek, I want to remain friends with the eight of them. I didn’t want to announce my feelings for you in front of them because you weren’t speaking. I didn’t know if you’d told any of them how you felt or if they’d all just worked it out, but then you didn’t speak. You stared at me the entire time but then you said nothing.” You paused as you took a step closer to him. “Plus my confession should be for your ears only first.”

He staggered backwards, not at all prepared for the words you’d said. “Wait, what are you saying?”

You locked eyes with him and did not break eye contact as you spoke. You needed to be certain that he heard you loud and clear. You’d been too weak to say it earlier, even though you knew how you felt. He deserved to hear it hours ago, but you couldn’t turn back time, so hearing it now would have to do. “Byun Baekhyun, I like you, a lot. Way more than is healthy for me I think. I want you in my life, I want to have you as one of my closest friends but I also want so much more. I want to be able to hold you, flirt with you, do domestic as fuck things with you, date you in whatever capacity we can date. I know that won’t be easy, I’m not naive about the secrecy that dating would require but to me you’re worth it. I want all of you, and I don’t want to share my romance with anyone but you. I’m not against bedroom scenarios that involve guests but I want you and only you as the person I fall even further for.”

“Fuck.” He whispered.

“Yeah. I want to do a lot of that too. You have no idea, but this is supposed to be romantic, not a confession from a horny teenager.” You both laughed. “I don’t know when my feelings changed or if I’d just ignored the way I felt about you for a long time but once I sat down and thought about my options with all of you, and spoke very discreetly with my best friend back home, I realised how sad I was every time I thought of not being able to be anything other than a friend to you. For every other member I was fine with the prospect of just friendship, but with you, it made me inexplicably sad.”

“Are you sure? Because don’t get me wrong, I want this, but it would be stupid of me to not understand the reality of it. Like you said, we won’t be able to go out on dates like a normal couple. We would have to be so careful. So unbelievably careful.” He paused as he took a couple of steps towards you, closing the distance between the two of you. “I think at this point a dating scandal wouldn’t ruin my career nor would it ruin EXO, but I’d be so worried about you.” He reached out to brush a stray strand of hair behind your ear, his hand lightly resting on your cheek afterwards. His eyes shone bright with emotion. He cared so much about you. “People can be so cruel, and I don’t want to see you hurt by their words should anything leak.”

You placed your hand over his, your eyes glistening with emotion. You knew his feelings for you, and he knew how you felt about him yet he still took the time to worry when he could be kissing you. “I don’t know that there is any way to prepare for the hate that would come my way if something got out about us, but I think that unless there was evidence of us in some compromising position it would be easy for SM to deny the rumours. In some ways working for the company and with the group allows for us to be seen together. We’d just have to keep things very work oriented when we aren’t in the safety of our homes.”

Baekhyun let out a shuddering breath. “I’m, fuck, why am I scared?”

You smiled. “Because. We really like each other. Fear is natural when you have something to lose but I think that just means trying to hang on to that special thing, or person in this instance, is worth anything that could be thrown at us. I’d like to think you wouldn’t just abandon me the moment a rumour comes out.”

He shook his head instantly. “I wouldn’t. I promise.”

“Then yeah, I’m all in on trying this thing. You and I. Exclusive. Together.”

His eyes widened at your words, like he still couldn’t quite believe this was happening. All the bravado you’d seen throughout the rest of your relationship with him was gone. The man who stood before you now was Baekhyun stripped bare. He was beautiful, inside and out. You don’t know how you denied yourself these feelings for so long, but if you continued to do so the sheer weight of what you felt might just consume you. “Is this really happening?” He asked.

“It is if you agree to it.” You replied. You stared up at him as you waited for him to accept your feelings and close the gap between you.

He leant in. “I can’t believe you actually like me. Didn’t you once say I was the most annoying person in the world?” He whispered. He was so close you could feel the ghost of the movement of his lips as he spoke.

“Maybe you’ll be less annoying if I get to call you mine.” Did he expect you to kiss him? Was he waiting for you to make the first move like you were waiting for him to do? 

“Oh. No. That’s where you’re wrong.” He smiled against your lips, the sensation of them touching but not kissing you was driving you insane. “I will be even more annoying if I’m yours.” His hand moved from your cheek to the back of your head, holding you in place.

“Still a risk I’m willing to take.” Baekhyun’s fingers tightened against your neck, stretching up into the edges of your hairline. He felt like he was trying to bring his own body as close to yours as possible. 

You waited for him to agree to date you, but he kept seemingly dodging a response. It was beginning to make your anxiety spike. What if he really liked you, admitted his feelings, yet still did not want to date you? Could you handle that? You didn’t think you could, not after laying your heart on the table for him like that. “Baek?” You asked.

“Yeah?” He replied as his free hand snaked around your waist, pressing your bodies against each other. You could feel your heart hammering in your chest as your breath hitched. 

“Please don’t leave me hanging.” You pleaded. You needed to hear him say it now that he knew how you felt. You felt light headed, and like your knees might buckle.

“What?” He sounded confused. The butterflies in your stomach felt like they were caught in a hurricane for how tingly you felt.

“I’ve told you what I want, confessed my feelings to you. B-but, you. You haven’t -” You struggled to get the words out.

He must have realised what you were trying to say as his grip on you tightened. “Fuck! Sorry noona, shit. I want to date the hell out of you.” You could feel how hard he was miling against your mouth as he spoke. “I’m excited for all the silly domestic things we can do. I want to buy couple pyjamas for us. I want to smother you with kisses and affection as much as I can when we are alone. If I don’t, I don’t think I’ll be able to handle my shit in public. I’m scared. I’m so so soooo happy, also a bit horny but that’s nothing new, mostly I’m just waiting to wake up from this dream.” You could feel yourself tremble, all the pent-up anxiety and fear and self-loathing having no other way to exit your body. The physical manifestation of the nerves wasn’t something you could control.

“Well could you hurry up and kiss me then?”

“Gladly.” Baekhyun closed the nonexistent gap between you as he pressed his lips against yours. The kiss started out softly, carefully and full of what could be referred to as love. He was kissing you with all the pent up emotion that he was now allowed to set free. You’d never been kissed like this before. Never been kissed in such a way where you could feel the emotion being poured into you. You felt desperate for him. It felt so good.

Baekhyun pressed harder against you as he kissed away all of your worries and doubts. You could feel how much he wanted you, more than just sexually, as his tongue swept across your lips, requesting entrance. You granted it readily, equally needing to devour him and reciprocate how you felt about him through the kiss. The raging butterflies in your stomach had morphed into tingling sensations that fluttered across every nerve ending. 

He pulled back just enough to cradle your face in his hands as he gazed at you with so much affection that you felt like you might combust. “I feel like I’ve gone crazy,” he chucked. “He didn’t allow you space to speak before jumping in to continue kissing you. 

You continued to kiss and hold each other for a while, trying to make up for lost time as you attempted to express every emotion via kisses. Some soft and loving, others rough and demanding. It’s you who pulled away the next time, as you both tried to catch your respective breaths. “We should tell the others.”

Baekhyun nodded. “Yeah, and then can we please go to your apartment? I just want to spend time with you. I don’t care if we just hold each other and make out or if we do more, I just want to be close to you.”

“That sounds perfect to me.” You pressed a chaste kiss to his lips before you grabbed his hand. “Let’s go before we change our minds and they find us in here.” 

The two of you headed back out towards the living area hand in hand. The others all appeared to be caught up in various discussions but they stop once someone notices yours and Baekhyun’s intertwined hands. Baekhyun cleared his throat, unable to keep the smile off his face as he exclaimed. “We’re dating, and I hope all of you can be happy for us because, speaking for myself here, I’m really happy right now. I thought I’d lost her earlier tonight but as usual I misunderstood.” He smiled down at you. “Thank fuck it was a misunderstanding, otherwise all of you would be dealing with me being mopey and heartbroken.” 

One by one the members got up and came forward to embrace the two of you. You were over the moon with the outcome from this evening. You’d secured a new contract, didn’t have to move companies, got to keep some of the best friends you’d ever had and gained a boyfriend. Pretty productive night if you said so yourself. However, you couldn’t help but notice that neither Minseok or Kyungsoo had approached the two of you since Baekhyun’s announcement.

In fact, neither of them were even in the room. Suddenly the lights dimmed and the two missing members entered the room, holding a cake. It wasn’t anyone’s birthday. What was the cake for? As they got closer you heard the other members giggling and grew suspicious. Any of these men giggling was never a good sign. Finally the cake came into view as the two of them stood before you and Baekhyun. “Yah!” Baekhyun laughed as he tried his hardest to sound mad. “Did you fucking plan this?!”

“Dude, you could not have been more obvious in your affections as far as we were concerned. “Kyungsoo deadpanned. “After we all talked last night it became pretty obvious that none of us felt the same way you did, and whilst some of us could see ourselves reaching that point, we weren’t there now. We were always expecting you to confess, and well, noona, you were always closer to Baek than any of us. There was always something brewing under the surface there so we had faith that you’d reciprocate his feelings. So we figured baking a cake for the occasion was a sure bet.” 

“You did have us worried when you didn’t say a single word at the table but I’m glad to see it all worked out. We did change the message on the cake just in case you hadn’t confessed to each other by the time you came back out of the room.” Minseok smirked. You finally diverted your gaze to the cake. And laughed. You laughed so hard that you struggled to breathe.

Hurry up and confess to each other so we can celebrate.

“This was your amendment?!” You managed to splutter in between laughs.

Kyungsoo grinned. “Yeah. The original message said Congratulations on realising your feelings.” 

“I hate all of you, just so you know.” Baekhyun grumbled, though it was not even remotely convincing what with the huge smile on his face.

“You love us.” Minseok said. “And we’re very happy for you.”

“Now eat the damn cake. I baked it with love.” Kyungsoo said as he thrust the cake towards the two of you.

“You baked for us?” You asked as you smiled.

“Of course I did. I’d only let the others bake if I wanted you to be poisoned. I don’t know how he’d manage it but Junmyeon could give you food poisoning even if all the ingredients were in date. What do you take me for, a monster?” He replied, unable to wipe the smile off his face.

***

After the cake had been eaten,you and Baekhyun decided that it was time to take your leave and head down to your apartment for the night.  You made your way around the room to bid each of the members goodnight, and to give each of them a warm hug. You held Yixing extra tight, promising to come have a movie day with him before he had to return to China. You also made him promise to schedule video calls with you so you could keep in touch. He swore that we would and you planned to hold him to that promise.

Minseok walked the two of you to the door. The three of you chatted easily as you and Baekhyun put your shoes on. You were enveloped in a strong embrace as Minseok held you and told Baekhyun to take good care of you because you now had eight friends who would gut him if he hurt you. The weight of his words was diminished when he posed the exact same threat to you. Baekhyun laughed at his protective hyung, cooing at how cute he was for threatening the two of you. 

He didn’t let go of you as he reached out to playfully slap Baekhyun. To his credit, Baekhyun let the two of you have your moment as he watched you both silently. 

You should have known better. Silence and Baekhyun were never a good mix. “So what if I want Minseok to join in every now and again?” He said as though he was talking about the weather.

“What?!” You both spluttered.

Baekhyun shrugged. “Noona, Hyung, you should see your faces.” He giggled. “I’m only half kidding though.”

“Yeah, you are going to have to say more than that dude.” Minseok groaned.

Baekhyun smiled at both of you. “I don’t know about either of you, but if I had to take a wild guess - we all had a better than good time during hyung’s reward. I’m just not opposed to something like that happening again, obviously not a frequent thing, but yeah. I’m sure you are more than capable of taking charge in the bedroom noona but it was really fucking hot watching both of you and being told what to do. So uh, yeah, just saying I’m happy to leave that door open for a future session.”

“Baek, you can’t just say things like that as though it's normal conversation.” You replied.

“What made you decide to bring that up now of all times?” Minseok asked as you spoke.

“To answer noona - Is that a no to my idea then? Coz like, that’s also fine. To answer hyung - I was reminded of it when the two of you were hugging.”

Minseok shook his head at the younger man. “You’re fucking weird dude.” 

“You like it.” Baekhyun quipped.

“I don’t dislike it.” He agreed. “Look, I’m down as long as it doesn’t become weird. It was fun, it was deeply satisfying and it was hot, but not something I’d be willing to ruin our friendships over.” 

You finally found some words, not quite believing where the night had taken you. “I feel the same. So uh, I guess at such a time when we want to involve a third, we know who to call…”

“This cannot be my life.” Minseok shook his head in disbelief and pointed towards the door. “Can you two leave already so I don’t get sprung with any more headache inducing conversation topics?”

Baekhyun grabbed your hand and led you through the door. “Let’s go angel.”

You were content, more than content as you stepped across the threshold with Baekhyun, who was now your boyfriend, you supposed. You’d have to discuss labels later. You wanted to spend the entire night in his arms, and like him you did not care if that was while you watched movies, played games, talked, or expressed your feelings for each other in a much more physical manner. All you knew was you felt right, you felt loved and cherished and you felt like you were in a state of utter bliss. 

A/N: Thank you if you've stuck with me over the course of the past 7 years. I simply don't have the words to express my gratitude to everyone who made it to this point of my lil fic. Well it was supposed to be little. It was supposed to be 9 chapter of pwp and only take me a couple of months to write but then all of this happened. I grew as a writer through this fic and explored different aspects of what I could write. I'm proud of this fic and glad that it didn't become another one of those unfinished fics on the internet.

It would mean the world to me if you could leave a comment. I love you all.

[loeyverie]

[portscoed]

— Momentos decisivos que me levam até você pedido pessoal (indisponível)

[marshmallow-phd]

Genre: Regency Gothic AU

Pairing: EXO x Reader

Summary: A stormy night brought you to the manor in the middle of the woods. Nine strange men occupied its halls. They won't let you leave. A dangerous secret haunts this estate. Learning it might either be your saving grace or it could lead to the last breath you ever take.

Part: 1 I 2 I 3 I 4 I 5

**

Lightning lit up the thin curtains covering the two small windows on either side of the carriage. Thunder rumbled and you felt it deep within your chest. Tugging your silk cloak closer, you closed your eyes and prayed that the driver would get you through the storm. There was no one to comfort you, to reassure you that a little rain and noisy sky wouldn't delay your journey.

Your father had insisted you take your sister or even a friend, but the two day’s journey didn’t  seem consequential enough to need a companion. Besides, what would they have done once you arrived? Your elderly aunt had only asked for you. From what you could decipher from her letter, she needed you to be a companion as she traveled to the southernmost coastal town. Apparently, it was now the ultimate fashion to travel to for the summer. Just the idea of rolling waves made your stomach churn. But what was worse was who else would be there–

The carriage jolted to the right. You spread out your arms, only barely catching yourself from falling to the floor. No sane person would have endured such dangerous weather. This storm had come from nowhere. Skies blue and cloudless as you had ever seen bid you farewell in the late morning. Most of the day's journey had been uneventful. Then the joyful light faded. Thunder shook the walls of the carriage. Rain pounded on the roof. When would you reach the inn? Bile rose up in your throat, burning the sensitive tissue as the carriage continued to rock violently. The horses neighed over the sounds of the storm. 

The carriage shifted hard to the left. And kept falling. You slammed into the door, nearly opening it with the force. You didn't know what was happening. The floor was now the wall and the wall the floor. A downward momentum made it impossible to stand. Screams ripped at your throat.

Then it stopped. 

The rain continued to pour and the thunder roared on but the carriage was still. Your legs wobbled as you slowly stood. With your palms, you pushed open the door. The thin wooden panel clapped against the outside of the carriage. Immediately you were pounded by the storm. Large drops pelted your face, obscuring your vision. It was dark. You could tell that much. And there were trees. In every direction. 

You climbed out of the carriage, calling for the driver. Your feet slipped in the mud, but you managed to keep your balance–for now. The mud was thick and sticky as you trudged to the front of the carriage.

 No. No, no, no. Both of the horses were gone. And so was the driver. Somehow, the carriage had fallen down a hill or ravine. With a storm this terrible, you needed to get to higher ground or risk possibly being carried away–or drowning. Clawing and digging your hands and feet into the soaked dirt, you climbed the hard incline back to the road. 

Once you could make out the road, you called for the driver again. No answer. He was nowhere to be found. You needed to find shelter. The storm gave no promise of letting up. You wouldn't survive the night in this forest, even if you went back into the carriage. The only choice was to find sanctuary. You stared in the direction you believed you came from. Nothing but trees and darkness. You turned to the other choice. All the same–wait. 

There was something... when lightning brightened up the sky. Your heart began banging in your ears. Spires, towers. Not trees. It was some distance away, but it was shelter nonetheless. 

With near tears in your eyes, you picked up your skirts–your fingers numb from the cold–and hurried towards the castle that could be your saving grace. 

*****

The manor was calm tonight. Odd, considering the amount of bodies roaming around these haunted halls. Only the beautiful storm outside and Chanyeol's sorrowful melody from the piano broke the silence. Jongin had draped himself over one of the arm chairs as he inspected the wine mixture within his goblet. The taste was… adequate. The cellar would need replenishing soon.

In the corner, a rather lax game of cards covered the small, round table. Minseok smirked at his winning hand. The faded wooden chips with bits of white painted around the edges were piling up in front of Yixing, who leaned back carelessly, sure of his next win. Little did either of them know that the youngest among them had a little... trick his sleeve. As the quickest, Sehun had perfected sleight of hand long ago. None had caught him yet.

A fire roared, coaling the usually gray and brown room in flickering orange. With how close he stood near the fireplace, Kyungsoo's silhouette was visible through his loose shirt. He leaned his palms on the mantel and let the warmth of the flames engulf him. Warmth was all they could feel after all these years. It could be an addiction so strong it was tempting to throw himself into the fire. 

Junmyeon joined him at the fireplace, leaning his shoulders against the brick. The bite of the edge hardly registered in his mind. Pain of that measure... it was only a ghost that had nearly crossed over. 

“Such strong thoughts for a night like this.”

Kyungsoo didn’t look from the fire, but raised a questioning eyebrow in response. 

Junmyeon shrugged a single shoulder. “I can’t read minds, but it's obvious you're turning something over more times than a praying rock.”

“It's the same thoughts,” Kyungsoo murmured in his strange, monotone voice. “Always the same thoughts.”

“One day you will have to let it go,” Junmyeon sighed. “This is our existence now. And forever will be.”

“Acceptance of the present doesn’t erase the past.”

“But it does make the present more enjoyable.” The red liquid sloshed against the rim of the goblet as Jongin draped an arm over Kyungsoo’s shoulders. He wore a mischievous smile. A clear indicator of his true intention. 

Junmyeon shook his head. “We’re not going out tonight. There’s nothing out and about in this storm.” Hunting in these conditions would wield no trophies. Tomorrow would be a better night. 

“Jun’s no fun tonight,” Jongdae teased as he and Baekhyun emerged from the hallway. 

“If you want to go out in this mess,” Junmyeon waved towards the front door. “Be my guest. Just don’t you dare get mud on the rug–”

Bang! Bang! Bang!

“Help! Please! Help!”

Nine pairs of eyes snapped to the echoing sound. None moved. 

Bang! Bang! 

BANG!

One of the double doors burst open and a figure fell to the floor, landing on its knees and palms. It looked up. A flash of lightning illuminated the face.

The face of a beautiful young girl. 

*****

Your knees vibrated when they hit the wooden floor. Water fell from your loose hair that clung to your cheeks. The chances of  the door opening when you pushed on the handle had been low–yet the barrier that kept you victim to the storm fell open and you crashed downward with it. 

Greeting you in this strange hall were several men, their jaws hanging open in a mirror of your own surprise. More men appeared from a side parlor, curious as to who dared intrude on their evening. One, two, three–you counted nine total. Nine men. This was not ideal–a bit terrifying, really–but you didn't have a choice. The storm raged outside.

"P-please," you stammered past chattering teeth "The st-storm overturn-overturned the carriage.” 

The men stayed silent as they exchanged unreadable glances. One raised a questionable brow. 

"Jongdae, go run a bath," ordered the man closest to you. One of the shorter residents nodded and disappeared into the darkness that led into the rest of the manor. 

That's what this place was. A grand old manor, not a castle. Isolated. When you'd first run through the rusted iron gate, you'd feared it abandoned. A long dormant instinct whispered that you might have been better off if it had been. 

The first man approached, each motion slow, deliberate, and hauntingly graceful. He crouched down in front of you and captured your frightened stare. The fear in you began to melt away. He was… beautiful. Obsidian fell over his forehead in gentle waves. His tunic was of a fashion your grandfather would have worn. There was something strange about this man–all of these men. Something... different. 

"Let's get you warmed up." He held his hand out and you were up on your feet before you even realized your fingers were resting on his. "Don't worry," he murmured. "You're safe here. My name is Junmyeon." 

You nodded, somehow believing him, but unsure if you should. Through your violent chattering, you managed to stammer out your name in response. 

Bang! 

You jumped at the sudden noise. One of the other men had somehow appeared behind you to shut the door you'd fallen through. 

"Thank you, Yixing," the man beside you said. The one named Yixing nodded and then shifted his eyes to you. “Come.” A hand pressed into the space between your shoulder blades and guided you down the hall, leaving a trail of mud in your wake.

The man led you down several halls until you reached an unoccupied bedroom. Red blankets draped the oversized bed. Matching curtains hung limply from the canopy. All of the wood was a dark sort, rich in color but not quite welcoming like other, brighter woods. 

Jongdae emerged from another door on the other side of the bedroom. Steam rolled out after him as if it were following him for its next set of orders. “Anything else?” he asked drily. 

“No, thank you.”

Jongdae strolled the from the room without a glance either of you and closed the door behind him. Your breath hitched in your throat. The two of you were… alone. It wasn’t appropriate. It was…

You looked to the man still with you, fear causing your heart to pound painful against your chest. You tugged your cloak closer to you, but it was soaked from the rain. Shivers violently raced down your arms and spine. The man didn’t seem to notice as he walked over to the dresser and opened the top drawer. He pulled out a long white cloth. 

“These should suffice for tonight.” He held up the cloth for you to see. A nightgown. An old one by the cut of it, though thankfully it hadn’t been devoured by moths or mice. “If you need anything else, don’t hesitate to ask.”

You nodded. “Thank you.” 

He visibly suppressed a laugh at your small voice and waved you into the adjoining bathroom. Taking the nightgown, you tried your best to avoid his gaze. You scurried inside and shut the door. 

*****

Junmyeon smirked at your mousy state. It was understandable why you were so frightened. The women of this period were warned of being alone with a man. And now you were alone with nine. 

Nine very dangerous men. 

The proper action for him to take was to leave your room now that you were safe inside the bathroom, but his feet didn’t move. Somehow, the storm had stranded you in their forest. What had happened to the driver, he wondered. Surely a gentlewoman such as yourself was not controlling the carriage. And yet, you were all alone. Circumstances were… ideal.

A small hiss echoed in the bathroom. It stretched out, along with the sound of sloshing water. Junmyeon frowned. 

Hm.

He stood there for a few minutes more, listening to you sigh as your skin grew used to the scalding water. The sound of soap scraping against skin reached his ears, followed by more sloshing water. Soon, you would be getting out of the tub. Time to leave. 

He emerged from the bedroom, careful to close the door as quietly as possible. Everyone had gathered out in the hallway since they were too curious about their visitor to go about their night. Junmyeon found Jongdae blending in with the cluster. He glared at him as he hissed, "The water was too hot." 

Jongdae merely shrugged. Why would he care about water possibly being too hot? It would never hurt him. 

On the opposite end of the group, Yixing cleared his throat. "What are we going to do with her?"

Junmyeon glanced at the door behind him. There was only one best option, for all their sakes. "Tomorrow morning, we will send her on her way." 

The eruption was instant. 

“Enough!”

In an instant, the hissing ceased. 

Baekhyun huffed and folded his arms against his chest, collapsing against the wall. Jongin scoffed. "Such a waste." 

“A waste that will keep this household from tearing itself apart,” Junmyeoun countered. It was an outcome none of them wanted. No one wanted to cause a fight, but resisting was difficult. The temptation was great. The quicker you left, the better off they would all be. 

"Do you really think it’ll end so well?" Minseok’s mocking comment hung in the air. Silent agreements rippled through the air. 

Junmyeon looked to Kyungsoo, whose answer was to look away. "No one touches her," he ordered. They all would try, he knew. But their strength would only get them so far. He stared down a few of them especially, so they knew he meant it.

Sehun pushed off the wall with a roll of his eyes. "Just get her out of here so I can get some peace." 

Junmyeon started to call after him but was interrupted by a soft thud from the room behind him. Confused, he opened the door to find you lying on the floor.