#CAN YOU BLAME ME THOUGH??!?!?!!?!?!???!?!?!??!?

[astonmartinii]

other side of the moon - chapter one | formula one imagine

pairing: fem retired formula one driver reader x ??? fem retired formula one driver reader x platonic!kimi antonelli

chapter one: an offer you can refuse

years of solitude has led y/n y/ln down a dark path following her career-ending injury in 2022 but one rookie seems dead set on bringing her back into the fray

MASTERLIST | TIP JAR

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“have you seen this?”

it’s too early in the day to be subjected to twitter in y/n’s opinion, but her manager - the one she’s always insisted in not needing - insists upon it. sara’s hand shakes as she hands over her phone, the video already playing loudly.

the video is a poorly clipped together compilation of kimi antonelli, for no better word, gushing about her. it’s earnest and even cute, but not cute enough. the formula one paddock was a vulture pit, one y/n had only escaped three years earlier with her life - barely.

“it’s cool. that’s all it is though,” y/n moves towards the door, picking up her coat and refusing to turn back towards sara, “i’ve told you since jenson insisted i hire you, there’s no way in hell i will ever go back to that paddock. and that’s the end of it, please. i’ll do any stupid vitamin ad or female empowerment talk if it makes you happy, but i can’t go back there.”

y/n grabbed her keys and left the apartment, leaving sara in her wake. sara reached into her pocket and pulled out a tattered letter with ‘y/n’ scrawled on the front in awful handwriting. she left it on the kitchen island and left, understanding this was likely to be her last time in this apartment - there's stupid and there's what she was doing right now, there was no way she would still be employed in the morning.

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girlsonthegrid

liked by maxverstappen1, oscarpiastri and 103,478 others

tagged: yourusername

girlsonthegrid: today we look back at the biggest what if for women in formula one - y/n y/ln. the 26-year-old drove for mclaren from 2020 to 2022 before she sustained a career-ending injury at silverstone. y/ln was the first ever female f1 race winner with her emphatic victory at monza in 2021 and the first ever female formula 2 champion with her win in 2019. her career lasted just 30 races and she hasn't been seen in the paddock or around any drivers since the crash. there have been reports that she has been approached about a mentor role but considering how fast her management rejected and shut down sky sports about a commentary role, this is also unlikely. what would you like to see from her if she ever comes out of hiding?

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user1: i mourn for her everyday

user2: the way she paved the way for so many but can't stand to be in the paddock to see what she did for the sport

user3: i really don't blame her

user4: doriane is the mercedes reserve and abbi is alpine's! her work is there even if she isn't and i know i'll always be grateful for that

user5: she's so overrated, if she didn't crash she still would've been out of formula 1 by now

user6: me when i'm the most wrong ever

user7: i can't believe there are still men to this day that think she wasn't great? literal world champions like max, lewis, fernando, seb and jenson have all said that she could've won a championship

user8: i mean no shade to lando but i think y/n would've made it 100x harder for max this season in that mclaren

user9: the way jenson tried to say that in the nicest way possible in las vegas lol

user10: and max agreed with him LOL

user11: the way it wasn't even proper lando shade or oscar shade like twitter painted it to be but like max just praising his bestie

user12: he does not play about her as he should

user13: i mean he's the only one we know y/n still actually talks to

user14: i can't wait for the tell-all biography that exposes half the grid because like how much have you must have fucked up for her to never speak to you again

user15: when twitter likes were public she was caught liking a bunch of tweets bout mick when he got his first points so like she doesn't even have hard feelings to the guy who put her in the barrier sooo

user16: it was proven it was break failure???? mick did nothing wrong that's why she still likes things praising him

user17: that crash really robbed us of the best ever f1 relationship with y/n and lando

user18: you know that's part of the reason that she doesn't speak to lando right?

user19: because she wished it was him not her?

user20: NO! because she hated that whole 'ship'

user21: and lando leaned into it way too much

user22: it made me a bit uncomfortable and i'm not even y/n

user23: AND she said on the beyond the grid podcast that she thought those rumours were really reductive and relegated her to just a love interest of her teammate rather than a race winner

user24: kimi antonelli please bring her back to us

user25: praying she'll listen to the literal child

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texts between y/n y/ln (bold) and max verstappen (italics)

did u give them my fucking address

my lawyer says to always deny everything?

i also actually have no idea what you are talking about…

i just got home and there’s a fucking letter from KIMI ANTONELLI on my kitchen counter

it’s creepy and a mad invasion of privacy

i did NOT give them your address?

i gave them sara’s contact details so they wouldn’t be able to directly get to you and i honestly thought she would be too scared to ask you

she showed me all the clips of him praising me.

it didn’t work.

it’s been three years y/n…

and it still hasn’t been long enough.

all i’m saying is read the letter, as creepy as it might be, he is just an 18 year old entering the lion’s den you could at least reply to him even if you don’t take up the offer

although i read they were going to pay you £10 million a year??? was that real?

unfortunately it is very real.

i didn’t think i was still worth that much

you are worth that and more, just give him a chance. we’ve both met him, he’s a sweet kid.

for now.

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it was cold in her apartment, y/n hadn’t shut the window from when she opened them that morning. in fact she hadn’t moved from the kitchen since she set eyes on the letter. it was bold she’d give him that.

the letter was crumpled as if it had gone through hell to get to her (it probably had) and the handwriting was a serious reminder of just how young kimi is. y/n had wondered if her maternal instincts would ever kick in like all the older women in her life insisted it would. sure she had felt intense feelings of love for her childhood cats and had cared her formula one cars (regina and heather, they were named after mean girls, because that is who they had to be on track) like they were children. but that true maternal feeling had never come to her, until now.

all y/n could think about was kimi. how young he was, how much he was set to lose. not everyone was her, the worst thing wasn’t going to happen to everyone - it just always seemed to happen to her.

her loud phone alarm jolted her out of her daydream, reminding her to take her painkillers. as she poured herself a glass of water, y/n slammed down the glass and ripped open the letter.

dear miss y/n y/ln my name is andrea kimi antonelli and i am going to be driving for mercedes amg f1 team in 2025. we met very briefly after i won all three races at mugello and lifted the italian f4 championship trophy. i know you were there on mclaren PR but for me it changed my life. you have always been my biggest inspiration alongside michael schumacher (i am italian, you must understand). it was always my dream to race alongside you and maybe even be teammates, i’d even betray toto and leave mercedes to make that happen (please don’t tell him i told you that). i know that can never happen now, but it could happen in another way? i know like me you grew up seeing niki lauda supporting and mentoring the mercedes drivers and i was wondering if you would be my mentor - who cares about george anyway. i know you’ve never come back to the paddock and are unlikely to do so for little old me. but if you could just think about it that would be great, if you don’t ask, you’ll never get! i hope this letter wasn’t horribly offensive, i mean it when i say you’re my favourite!!! love, kimi (p.s. i was at monza 2021, so you could even consider me a good luck charm) (p.p.s you won monza 2021 completely on merit but i was there) (p.p.p.s please don’t think i’m an idiot) (p.p.p.p.s i also loved interlagos 2020 that’s a super underrated drive)

with tears in her eyes, y/n placed the letter back on the counter, grabbed the glass of water and made her way to her bedroom. painkillers taken with a wince, she still hadn’t gotten used to the size of the pills even three years into taking them, y/n shuffled under the duvet.

the offer was there and it seemed sincere. her accountant would tell her that the money was worth the mental turmoil, even if she just did it for one season and returned to her little cave in west london.

there was no doubt she felt something for kimi - a kinship, a frienship or a maternal yearning - but was it worth ripping off all the bandages and opening herself back up to all the scrutiny again?

she would sleep on it.

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yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, georgerussell63 and 10,567,388 others

yourusername: much to think about these days. like how the fuck this app works now?

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user1: first post in three years and it’s THIS?

user2: i am not complaining

user3: i am savouring every little piece in case she goes missing for another three years

mclarenf1: the queen has returned

user4: no thanks to you

user5: how about we keep my wife’s name out of your fucking mouth

user6: socials admin i know it is not you specifically but i really don’t know how you can post up here like you’re completely absolved of your involvement in this. your car had break failure that broke her fucking back - it is a miracle she is even still walking! and you still don’t accept any responsibility for it

user7: i love y/n but like how is it mclaren’s fault? break failure happens all the time?

user8: well it’s in one part the fact that they were using her as a test dummy because it was a new faulty part that mclaren was experimenting with that was on her car and NOT lando’s and the fact that to this day when they feel like it they’ll heap guilt onto mick schumacher

user9: without being disrespectful there were two formula one careers that were ended that day because mclaren have kept to the narrative that it was mick that put her into the barriers eventhough siedel admitted when he left mclaren that it was a faulty break part that caused it.

user10: clock it

user11: yes clock it but maybe on a different post because it’s y/n’s return to the internet and all yall can talk about is the most traumatic event in her life?

kimiantonelli: i also love clairo

user12: what is bro doing?

user13: be quiet he’s our best hope of y/n coming back to the paddock let him cook

user14: name three songs local

kimiantonelli: bags (live), alewife and blouse

user15: this motherfucker might just do it

maxverstappen1: i miss brando :/

yourusername: you know my address

yourusername: use it since you like to give it out so much

maxverstappen1: I DID NOT GIVE THEM YOUR ADDRESS

user16: y/lnstappen friendship is BACK

user17: it was never gone?

user18: but now we get to see it :P

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when she woke the next morning, y/n knew she had to read the letter again before jumping into anything. in her sleep she was plagued with memories of the past, but not the usual ones that haunted her in the dark. there were no flames, no hospitals, no career-ending injuries. no, this time she was transported back to 2020 and her first few races of her formula one career.

march 2020.

the paddock was much bigger in formula one than it had been in formula two with hundreds more people running around, barging through crowds, hitting y/n on the way through and not even stopping to apologise. she had thought briefly that she would be making more noise as the first female racer to take part in a race since forever - y/n even thought that she’d made a bit of a splash during preseason testing, nestled between her teammate lando and alex in the red bull in fifth.

but she was invisible. even with the garish orange path to follow to the mclaren garage, y/n struggled to get through the crowds of people brandishing their paddock passes. her trainer had gone ahead to set up her driver room which left y/n to push through and arrive to briefing ten minutes late.

“i’m so sorry, i got lost and by the time i was going in the right direction the paddock had filled up?”

y/n stammered, not quite able to make eye contact with zak brown. the american wasn’t tall in comparison to the general public but he towered over y/n and the disapproving stare didn’t do much to help.

“just make sure it doesn’t happen again.”

zak snipped, waving his hand in y/n’s direction, telling her to take a seat. y/n rushed to the nearest empty seat and looked for her teammate in the room. lando was sat just three seats to her right on a small table. y/n tried to make eye contact with lando but he avoided her gaze like it was burning him, so much for the ‘big brother’ act he had put on at the car launch.

the engineers stood in front of the screen and started their long-winded presentation about the prospects for the season ahead. y/n pulled her note book out and frantically started taking notes, she didn’t know if that was normal for formula one drivers, but knowing as much as possible couldn’t hurt.

y/n copied down the warnings about possible tyre wear in turn three when she heard some soft sniggers, like someone was trying to stifle their laughter. this drew y/n out of her focus on the presentation, looking around the meeting room to locate the perpetrator.

lando caught her eye immediately. he had a light blush across his face and his mouth was covered by his hand. he looked guilty, guiltier than the rest of the room who were listening intently to the engineers. y/n raised her eyebrow in question.

“i’m sorry are we distracting you two?”

zak interrupted the presentation, turning to look at y/n and lando.

“no, sorry sir,” y/n replied turning her chair back to face the screen. “lando?” zak pressed.

“i’m sorry zak but y/n was distracting me with her note-taking,” lando forced out between his boyish giggles. “i’ve never taken notes, i didn’t realise you would be sucking up to the engineers this early on?”

“i’ve always taken notes? is it a problem? i’m sorry if i was distracting you lando.”

“yeah we’ll see how much those notes help you on track, rookie.”

lando spat over the table. it was uncharacteristically mean for the lando she had seen in the mclaren social content and the lando she spoke with at the car launch. y/n felt tears prickle in her eyes but she swallowed them down, she couldn’t cry yet - or at least not in view of all the most important people on the team.

“right. we’ll get back to business then.”

the rest of the meeting went by in a blur for y/n, but despite the outburst from lando, she continued to take her notes, she would be damned if some comments from lando would fuck up her entire race weekend routine. y/n took her time when zak dismissed them from the meeting, not wanting to look unprofessional.

moving towards the door, y/n’s shoulder hit someone else’s. she looked up to make eye contact with lando yet again.

“you better not make a habit of making contact with me, rookie,” lando said, a slight smirk but a harsh look in his eyes.

“are you like okay?”

“why wouldn’t i be?” lando replied pushing past through the door.

“i don’t know, you’re just a little frosty this morning? did i do something?”

“why would i be thinking about you, seriously? this is my team, know your place and we’ll get on just fine”.

with that lando was gone and y/n was left puzzled. i guess PR really does work wonders, y/n thought before making her own way to her drivers room.

her trainer, luca, wasn’t there when she managed to locate the room but all of her gear was already neatly put away like they had discussed. y/n cracked open an electrolyte drink and opened her notebook to study the meeting points.

there was a loud knock at the door and before y/n could even utter a “come in”, the mystery visitor barged into the room. daniel ricciardo announced his arrival with a packet of tim tams thrown at y/n and a quick “howdy” before he started rifling through her stuff and studying her helmet.

“ah, another cool dude who has a cuddly guy on their helmet,” daniel said, picking up her helmet, pointing at the cartoon version of her childhood cat.

“oh that’s schumi, when we travelled for karting we always brought him up until he died of old age, but i still want him with me whenever i race.” y/n said, nervous that the heartfelt explanation would be deemed uncool by one of the coolest racers she had ever seen.

“oh that’s surprisingly cute, i bet schumi was a big hit in the paddock back in the day.”

“he sure was, he’s how i charmed max into not hating me after i took him out once,” y/n chuckled thinking back to the race where max stormed up to her with angry tears in his eyes until y/n practically threw schumi at him. in just five seconds, max had calmed down and schumi was happily purring in the young dutchman’s lap.

“that sounds like max. but speaking of the other young whippersnappers in the paddock, how is our lando treating you? i bet zak and that can’t keep up with you two…” daniel asked, slumping to the floor, taking one of her drinks from the mini fridge.

“oh. i am getting used to him, we’ll put it that way?”

“he’s not being rude is he?”

“no! well. he insists on calling me rookie and keeps making comments about me crashing into him and made fun of me taking notes in briefing but i’m sure that such the british banter.”

“you’re british?”

“well. um. yeah, you got me there.”

daniel grabbed her hands, forcing y/n to look him in the eyes rather than her very interesting shoes.

“i know lando is like some media darling, but so are you. don’t let him push you around, he may have been in this team a while but you’re just as good as him if not better. you’re here to prove yourself, not to play second fiddle, okay?”

it was the first time someone had actually tried to talk to her properly since getting to the paddock. again, tears climbed to her eyes, but this time she let one creep out. daniel wiped it away.

“we made the mistake of isolating max when he was young and new, we won’t make the same mistake - we can’t have two of you running rampant around here,” y/n let out a wet laugh which daniel returned, “just come to renault if you need anything from me. max will be there for you, you know, and seb, kimi, fernando and all the old men will listen to you. don’t rot in your drivers room or hotel suite and think you’re not wanted here.”

y/n nodded, feeling some butterflies in her stomach. she was actually here - a formula one driver. a seven-time race winner wants her here, world champions want her here. a private-school fuckboy wasn’t going to ruin her first ever race weeekend.

“thank you daniel.”

“i have to dash, but i’m serious, we’re here for you. and i would be honoured to kick that little shit’s ass for you, okay?”

the australian left in just as loud fashion as he came, but in the remaining silence, y/n finally felt some peace. this was her chance, and she wasn’t going to mess it up.

present.

y/n couldn’t let that happen to kimi. the young italian was just so unbelievably earnest in his letter that y/n couldn’t bear the thought of his kindness being taken advantage of. george russell had never been outwardly callous but with his attack on max late last season and his complete radio silence with y/n since her crash made her suspicious.

as she prepared to ask max for kimi’s number, sara (who did actually still have a job) sent her a link.

sara: zak brown believes mclaren has the strongest pairing on the grid with no more childish recklessness like in the early 2020s

sara: do you want us to put out a statement or ignore as usual?

y/n clicked on the link, even though she knew it would just annoy her to the point that her phone might become closely acquainted with the thames.

as the formula one world gears up for the 2025 season, zak brown has already stated his confidence for mclaren this season. the papaya team will be coming into the 2025 season as reigning constructors champions and lando norris and oscar piastri will be aiming to add the world drivers championship to that as well.

when zak brown sat down with us earlier this week, the mclaren ceo did not beat around the bush, stating that mclaren have the strongest pairing on the grid. with red bull promoting liam lawson in a test and, mercedes putting unproven kimi antonelli next to george russell and ferrari gambling with charles leclerc and lewis hamilton, brown might just be right.

in their journey to constructors champions, brown recognised that as a team they had straightened out all of their ‘growing pains’. this is exemplified in oscar piastri completing all laps in the 2024 season.

like they usually do, y/n y/ln’s particularly rabid twitter fans will probably detect some ‘shade’ towards the former driver. brown did touch on the prior mclaren drivers during his reign as ceo, saying that the team had some childish recklessness, but now they have a team that all know their place.

y/n y/ln hasn’t spoken about anything formula one related since her retirement, even forgoing the opportunity to congratulate the team that took the chance on her for winning the championship - something brown did not mince his words on off camera. brown lamented about y/ln’s silence, labelling her a brat and ungrateful for not still thanking him for allowing a woman to compete in formula one.

will mclaren make it back-to-back constructors championships? and will they sweep both championships this season?

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she needed that loud-mouthed american’s head on a silver platter. the letter had almost sucked her back into the world of formula one, only for the man who discarded her like a broken toy when his car had malfunctioned and smashed her and her career into a concrete wall to call her an ungrateful brat.

fuck him. fuck mclaren. and fuck that dumbass reporter for giving him the time of day.

y/n didn’t throw her phone from her balcony but pulled up her texts with max.

texts between y/n y/ln (bold) and max verstappen (italic)

have you read this absolute hogwash

zak brown believes mclaren has the strongest pairing on the grid with no more childish recklessness like in the early 2020s

i 100% get why you wanted to put him in a wall last season

you watched last season?

shut up not the time

did you text me just to call your old tyrannical boss a fraud?

i was going to ask for kimi’s number but now i’m back at square one

noooooooo

i want to be there for him, the way no one was for us.

but this is the bs they write about me when i haven’t been seen or heard from in three years, imagine the shite they come up with when i’m the paddock every weekend

WHEN?

no no no

i’ll give you kimi’s number

contact: kimi antonelli (mercedes)

you decide what you want to do

as much as i would kill to have you around the paddock again… even in the vicinity of george

i want you to do what you are comfortable with

thanks max

i’m not giving you a yes but i’m definitely thinking about it

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fin.

note: omg that's part one??????? i had this idea and have been planning and adding to it for a couple days. no spoilers but there will be multiple love interests, backstabbing and all that lovely stuff - i just love the drama !!! (yes i will finish guilty as sin at some point as well). i hope you enjoy the prose as well - first time writing that way on here lol ?! let me know if you liked it, who you'd like to see her with and what you'd like to see happen!

[tojisun]

simon riley x f!reader - smut; hinted d/s dynamics; oral but like—

messy.

so, so messy, but simon’s cowed by his admiration that he bypasses the way your drool slips past your mouth, staining your chin and mussing up your white button up, making the thin fabric go sheer as it sticks onto your skin in something that is truly so hypnotic.

it’s hot — this is hot.

the way you can barely give a proper head, all lips and spit, is hot. and simon knows that you are not used to being the giver; that you’ve been with a lot of partners who have spoiled you — simon still remembers the first time, and how there is something experienced in the way you gripped his hair and tugged him into your core, whining as his breath tickled your sensitive folds. you were never expected to give back and simon is fine with that. simon is perfectly fine to keep the tradition; to overwrite your past experiences with his tongue, but you begged.

you had asked so nicely, so politely, if he could fuck your throat. you were hesitant, not shy about it though, and asked as you batted your eyelashes if simon could pretty please teach you. use you. ruin you. and who is simon to deny that?

the drive to his flat was a blur but here you are now, slobbering all over his cock, not knowing when to swallow in more of him without grazing your teeth along the sensitive underside of his length, not knowing when to suck without choking.

but oh how your efforts endear him.

you’re so desperate for it, cheeks all splotchy as you cry because of course. a spoiled brat like you would fall into subspace just at the act of being put on your knees. it had been too easy, too quick — all it took were crooned words and simon’s hand cupping your cheek before you trembled and succumbed into the calling.

“jus’ like that, baby,” he murmurs, feeling feverishly warm. the windows are all fogged up, the heater is blasted high, and sweat pools from his temple but simon doesn’t dare stop you. it’s not the nicest head he’s ever received but damn if it isn’t the hottest. if it isn’t the best.

it’s intoxicating — seeing you try so hard like simon would ever love you less for not knowing how to suck a dick.

there is… power in this. and simon is drunk on it. and simon is heady because of it.

and simon, cock painfully hard, wants to cum.

“s’good f’r me, love. so beautiful. so perfect.” his voice curls, rumbling into a pleasured moan. he pinches your chin, drawing you to look up. the action pulls out his cock from where the head was nestled in the back of your throat, leaving it to rest on the top of your tongue.

“m’gonna cum,” simon utters, and he sounds awed and broken. “an’ you’ll swallow it all f’r me, won’t you, pretty?”

a hum pulses around his cock in reply and simon hisses, eyes squeezing close for a heartbeat as it almost catapults him into his release.

jesus.

love really does make everything feel good.

“fuck, baby,” he rasps out, chest heaving, his sweaty hair all matted into his skin. “god. y’ready f’r it?”

you nod, a desperate little thing, before sniffling as tears continue to pour from your pretty eyes. simon can’t help it and he croons, something that is almost a little mean, but please don’t blame him? he’s at the precipice of his ecstasy, so close that it is bloating in the underside of his belly, ready for the fever to break.

he pulls out even more, his cock all shiny from your spit, and leaves just the head resting on the inside of your lips. you curl them readily around him, anyway, before sucking lazily. the soft curl of your tongue teases his slit, and your eyes, unwavering as they gaze upon him, crinkle in delight, and this.

this is what makes him cum.

he goes with a hissed cuss, his hands gripping the sides of your head as he tips his own back in the explosion of his pleasure. it’s like a punch in his gut, a sort of ripping that is resonating through him in cataclysmic waves.

god. fuck. damn it.

this is.

too good.

just—

the storm surge dies and simon dances into his consciousness again. he feels so heavy, so relaxed, and when he turns to meet your gaze again, he can’t really blame himself for the startled twitch in his dick because you’ve dropped his cock, leaving your mouth open to show him how full it is of his spunk.

then, you close your maw and swallow with a delighted hum.

simon shouldn’t really be surprised because you’ve always begged for his cum, but seeing it gulped this way instead of being pumped in your pussy makes his already-parched throat dry up even more.

“c’mere,” he grunts out, before desperately pulling you to his lap to kiss you. he devours your quiet laughter, tongue meeting tongue, and tastes himself with every swipe.

“s’your turn,” you gasp out on his lips. “wanna cum now, please.”

“yeah,” simon rumbles, his big hands moving from your hips to your ass, one dipping even lower to press at the wet spot of your bare pussy.

“i’ve got you,” simon whispers amidst your impatient mewls. “i’ve got you now.”

[remma-demma]

I’m actually scared of alienating some of my followers and moots with all the trans discourse I’ve been steeping quietly in and contemplating, but… I’m trying to not let being scared shut me up about this. That, in and of itself, is erasure and silencing.

Fuck staying quiet. Trans men and mascs deserve a voice, and we, as a group, are not oppressing or invalidating anyone else by using that voice. (Obviously there are shithead exceptions!! Anyone can be an asshole.)

I really hope that if I ever speak about any of this in the future, that people recognize that it’s not ever, ever trans femininity as a concept I have an issue with. It’s people who

- try to divide the community

- are reinventing gender essentialism from the ground up but make it trans

-police other people’s identities and decide for them what oppression they must face because of a tiny set of superficial traits

- simply. Don’t understand what intersectionality means.

- disregard and invalidate anyone who doesn’t fit a very specific (binary, rich, white, abled, flawlessly passing) idea of what it means to be trans.

None of those things are specific or exclusive to one identity. There just happens to be a community of transfems who are currently espousing many of these ideas as gospel. They are understandably defensive because of real actual transmisogyny they face. But other trans people are not your enemy. Accusing anyone and everyone who tries to point these flaws out as radical transmisogynists is simply not true. Pointing out bigotry is not bigotry in itself.

I don’t want the trans community to constantly be at each other’s throats. We each have to sit down and think if we ever catch ourselves blaming an entire other marginalized group for our issues. That’s just fascism babes.

[summertimesadnessirl]

Everyone hates hypersexuality because they think it's like...

We get to tell you to stop fucking.

Also our entire culture really wants to tell people to stop fucking.

I'm pretty sure that's literally the purpose of a lot of sexual abuse- to make people stop fucking.

People who fuck just to fuck are going to get labeled as hypersexual even if they aren't.

People who are hypersexual are going to get blamed for the actions of other people who have weird pathology around the idea of sex, or certain types of sex.

Weirdly, someone can have sex with you and then later turn around and go "now I blame you for making me bad" when they consented to or even asked for and initiated the sex and enthusiastically consented over and over at various points in the process.

People who like sex just to have sex, even if they initially became that way because they were sexually abused, might not actually be doing something that hurts them. They might be doing something that works effectively to help reduce other symptoms, make new friends, etc. They might be doing things that genuinely make them feel better. You can even get slapped with an "inappropriate hypersexual" label for masturbating a lot. Like... to fantasies or porn of other adults. Like vanilla porn. Because it can't just be a harmless quirk that sometimes you get anxious or upset and you get off and then you feel better if you have a history of sexual trauma because people in the community want to hear that whenever someone like you consents to sex it's secretly that they were groomed or they have low self esteem and really just want validation or something.

People have tried to tell me over and over that I just want validation and not sex.

I guess I do sometimes have sex with people because I like knowing I can do something for someone else if I feel powerless to fix problems in my own life, or when I'm in a lot of negative social situations and I want to be be in one where the outcome is positive at the end for both people. I still enjoy the sex, though. It's not something I do and don't enjoy on a physical level.

I think secretly that's the problem.

I think the goal of a lot of things in our society is to slowly make people hate sex. Make them think something is wrong with them if they enjoy it, even if they seek it out or consented to it it was actually rape, etc.

It's some weird fusion of anti lgbt and anti woman and patriarchy and the church and the psychiatric system where we tell people doing a fun activity with your friends that everyone enjoyed and made them feel good is actually making them empty and worse and a sign that they have low self worth.

If you can't accept that sometimes having sex with someone because you both want to feel good is enough reason to have sex with them, you're just perpetuating the weird nasty shame shit that people did to you when they emotionally abused you.

If your advocacy for truama/abuse survivors isn't inclusive of

Survivors who are not women

Survivors who developed hypersexuality

Survivors with personality disorders

Survivors with anger issues

Survivors with did/osdd

Survivors with substance abuse issues

Then maybe you should start making an effort to make it. I'm not asking anyone to shift focus to a topic they don't understand, but you dont have to become an expert in hypersexuality or personality disorders to not actively exclude or demonize them

[rosenclaws]

Would You Fall In Love with Me Again || Worst!Logan x Reader

Would you fall in love with me again If you knew all I've done? The things I cannot change Would you love me all the same? I know that you've been waiting, waiting for love

warnings: angsty af, happy ending, sad logan.

wc: 1.5k

a/n: I heard this song and immediately pictured Logan so this fic was cooked up! I hope y'all like it <3 I'd recommend listening to the song while reading or before or after! Its a great musical btw

Logan holds the small piece of paper in his hands. It's been crumpled and flattened countless times. He turns it over in his hands, the faded black in is just bright enough to read. He glances down at it again. Written on it is an address. Laura's words playing over and over in his head.

Find her. She would want to see you.

Would you? Would you want to see him? He's not the same man that you knew. He's not your man. He's not the hero you remember. He's just a broken, tired, old man. He's a coward.

Laura gave him your address shortly after he came to his world. But he never went. He was afraid. This tiny slip of paper would keep him up at night. If the nightmares didn't get to him first than this stupid, little paper did. He debated on throwing it away.

You didn't need him. You were better off without him. But was he? You were his better half. Always had been. Just one look, a meeting. Closure. So he set off to find you one last time.

Each foot step weighs heavy as he marches to your front door. A small cabin tucked away from the the busy town only a few miles away. This is his handiwork. Logan always promised you that he'd build you a house one day, when you two were done with all the X-Men bullshit.

He had already written out the plans back before...before he lost you. Initials are carved into one of the wood boards. His fingers running over the letters, tracing them as his mind floods with memories of you.

He raises his fist and knocks at your door. His ears straining to hear you move behind the wooden door. Though if you didn't answer he couldn't blame you. He's the ghost of the man you once loved standing on your doorstep. He waits and waits and nothing.

His shoulders sag in defeat. What was he thinking? This was stupid. He takes the paper and crumbles it up in his hands, throwing it as far as he could into the woods.

"Pretty sure that's littering." He freezes at the sound of your voice. He knows it's you. He doesn't need to see your face, this voice had been haunting his nightmares for years.

"Logan?" He nearly falls to his knees. His name sounds so sweet coming from your lips. He hasn't heard it in so long. Ever so slowly he turns around, a part of him afraid this is another dream.

"Is it really you?" You're holding a grocery bag, dressed up for the cold weather. He's frozen as you walk up to him. Your eyes shine with tears as your hand reaches out for him.

"Please tell me its you." Your hand cups his face.

Thumb lightly brushing over his face. He looks different. He looks tired. So much pain behind those gorgeous eyes. He melts into your touch. He clenches his fists at his side as he leans his head into your hand.

"My love, how I've missed you." Logan opens his eyes to see the wedding band sitting on your finger. He never got the chance to give that to you.

"Sweetheart...I'm not the same man." He wishes he was. God he wishes he could sweep you up in his arms. Runaway and live in this cabin for all eternity. You smile softly. Your hand leaves his face and he visibly sinks.

"Come inside yeah?" Without thinking he takes the grocery bag out of your hands and follows you inside. There's not much inside.

"Laura told me about you, she sent letters when she came back." You explain as you reach into the fridge and pull out a beer, his favorite.

"I buy a new pack every week, in case you ever showed up." You smile when you talk but Logan can only focus on the bottle in front of him. The guilt eating him alive.

"I'm so sorry." He chokes out.

"For what?" You ask. He looks at you in disbelief, how could you be so forgiving, so welcoming.

"I'm not your husband. I-I'm not the man you fell in love with." He places the beer on the counter. If he closes his eyes he can picture you and him in this little cabin. Be the family you both always wanted. But he's not yours.

"I know you aren't. I'm not a fool Logan. But..." He's not your husband, he's different. He's not a replacement for the man you once loved but your love for Logan was stronger than anything you've ever felt.

"Would you fall in love with me again? You don't know what I've done. I'm not worthy of the love you gave to him." A tear slips down Logan's face.

He sinks to the ground, on his knees. Silently begging to be loved by you once again. The shame of his past chains him to the ground, he can't even look at you.

"What did you do my love?" You cup his face and tilt his head up.

"I lost you, I lost everyone. I can still smell your blood, I can still hear your voice calling to me. But I walked away." He grabs onto your wrists and holds onto them desperately.

"I walked away from you." You wipe away a tear that falls down his cheeks. His normally stoic face crumbles into a mess of despair and loneliness.

"I needed to numb myself. I started drinking, I started killing. I left a trail of blood in my wake." He expects you to cower away from him. To be disgusted with what he's done.

"Once I started, I couldn't stop. I didn't want to stop. I was so angry, so buried in my grief that the only thing I could feel was rage." The grip on your wrists is firm and tight. Not to the point of pain but he's locked around your hands. Please don't leave him again, please.

"Forgive me." You drop his face and it hangs low, ashamed of what he's revealed to you. You've been waiting for him, all this time only to come and disappoint you.

"If you think that's true, that you're not the same man I feel in love with. Then leave."

"W-What?" He's taken aback.

"You want me to leave?"

"I don't want you to leave but you keep saying you're not the same man. So if you truly believe that, than leave." Logan is stunned to silence.

"No." He says without thinking. He's spent every night missing you, thinking of you. You're here in front of him, it's not the same you but he still loves you. He will always love you.

"I can't leave you, I just found you again I...I won't." He stands up and takes your hand.

"This wedding band, I bought it after out first date. I knew, that I was in love with you but I was so scared to lose you." Tears fall down your face as he presses your hand against his face.

"I ended up losing you anyways."

"He told me that story when he proposed." You say softly. He may be from another universe but he will always be the love of your life.

"You asked if I'd fall for you again, how could I not?" He presses his forehead to yours, noses knocking together as you get to take in the man before you.

"I will always love you. I don't care how you got here, where you're from or what you've done. " You close your eyes as Logan wraps you up in his arms. Holding you close as he whispers apologies.

"No matter how long its been, you're mine." You kiss Logan fiercely, tasting the man who you've longed to hold in your arms again.

He's equally as desperate to feel you. His hands squeezing your sides gently as he walks you back until you hit the wall. Your hands run through his hair, the feeling of your wedding band in his hair only eggs him on.

Silently he thanks the universe for bringing him to you, for your forgiving, loving nature. He would have begged on his knees for a chance like this. He growls when you tug on his hair. His hand slipping up your shirt just to feel your skin. When you finally part he refuses to stay too far.

"Tell me Logan, how long as it been." Your heart aches to think of the pain he's been through. The life he's had to live without anyone to calm his self loathing thoughts.

"I can't even remember." He sounds so tired as he buries his face in your neck.

"It's okay, I'm here now."

"I love you." He whispers, a sense of relief washing over him as he utters the words he thought he'd never get to say again.

You had been waiting for him to come home and you would have waited until the day you too your last breath. He's worth it, all that waiting was worth it for you to call Logan yours.

"I love you too Logan, forever."

[silverspek]

After Game ‘Meditation’ 𝜗𝜚

Pretty boys who lay their head in your lap pathetically with no shame, pretty boys who apologize as they’re fucking into you, pretty boys that need you to praise them >>>

warnings … nsfw, f!reader, praise kink, oral (r), pull-out method, dom!reader + switch!rin, penetrative unprotected vaginal sex, oralking!rin, established relationship, nicknames, he’s mean but nice <3

Sex with Rin is truly best after he loses a game. You would never tell him this of course, fully aware of his deep rooted pride that is the source of his ego. He’s the best and he doesn’t need you to tell him that … until he does, till it’s just you and him behind a closed door.

Emotions simmer beneath his fluttery teal eyes; anger, frustration, and disappointment readable as his brows furrow and knit together. It makes your skin crawl knowing you can see it reflected so clearly despite him trying to cover his face with his hair, rare is it to see him so vulnerable. “Rin baby, talk to me about it,” you attempt to coax his woe from him.

Your fingers tread in his silky tapered hair as he lays his head expectantly in your lap, seeking comfort. Although he’s much bigger than you are, you don’t mind succumbing to his needs.

Rin Itoshi needingly swaddles his face between your lush thighs whilst he works on his ‘after game meditation’, “hmm…” he merely groans in petulance. Not just yet ready to process his feelings of utter failure. Due to his pride, he stiffens from unnecessary blame that your sweet hands inevitably massage him free of.

Fine. You roll your eyes teasingly. His grip on your thighs and ass tighten as he sighs, his fingertips digging into your meaty flesh while he exhales. Despite this soft and weak side of him, you’re reminded of his restrained strength in these moments. “I watched your game y’know”, you watch all of them, “I couldn’t take my eyes off you Rinnie,” no one else commands attention quite like he does on the field. His ridiculously over complicated method of playing soccer.

“That game was lukewarm, no, room temperature at best actually.” It comes out as mumbles though, his lips and cheek pressed into your warm and supple skin.

You swipe Rin’s dark bangs away from his eyes, tucking his hair lightly behind his ear. This reveals his dramatized lashes and softening features at your sweet words. Rin Itoshi certifiably has a kink for praise, “you’re a star, my star,” you say watching his ears perk up and turn red in response. He’s unbelievably receptive, even the tops of his shoulders flush at your flattery.

It’s like you’ve breathed new life into him, “come here and show me how good you are, Rin.” Pathetic and oh so eager to please as he wraps his toned arms around your waist in an embrace. You’re drawn closer to him, deeper into his emotional turmoil hidden beneath a veneer of insouciance. It’s addicting, just like him.

Rin isn’t always the most vocal at first, but don’t mistake his shyness for a lack of passion though; he’s a gentle lover at heart. He desires you in ways that he can’t verbalize — therefore he’ll let his mouth do the hard work — devoted to your satisfaction.

He begins to kiss down the skin of your stomach, still stationed on his knees before you. “Don't tell me what to do,” gloomy but insolent as ever while he plants wet kisses against your skin. You giggle knowing he wouldn’t want to be anywhere but the haven between your thighs, and you gasp when he starts to spread your legs apart slowly.

There’s drool practically dripping down his chin at the thought of getting to devour you and being rewarded for it with your little whines and heavenly moans. The laser focus he has vanishes into insatiable defiant lust when he removes your shorts and finds how wet you are, a string of slick connects you to your underwear. “Fuck,” he mutters under his breath, no sly or slick comeback when he’s in the mood.

You should be ashamed as to how turned on by him you are, he’s downtrodden and beaten by his loss, but you swear you’re conditioned by how well he treats your cunny when he’s like this.

Your back instinctively arches your pelvis further into his firm grip as he licks languid stripes on your slit, you watch him tentatively from between the valley of your breasts on the edge of your seat. “Feels good handsome, keep going,” he loves your small quips of encouragement, it fills him with the need to please you more.

You can feel his hot breath on your pussy as he eats you out, swiping his wet muscle against your lower lips and licking the spit off his chin. It's depraved, but he looks ethereal covered in a sheer layer of your slick. “You’re so good at this Rin,” you half moan half praise as he starts to suck on your clit, “fuck— keep doing that n’ I’ll cum.”

You’re sure you are throbbing against him, you just know it. It’s embarrassing how quickly he can reduce you down to your desires, but he loves it needs it like this, needs you desperate for him. “Faster, closer,” you greedily demand as your grip in his teal hair tightens. You make eye contact and the hunger is like an electric charge.

He doesn’t let anyone talk to him like this, no one orders Rin Itoshi to do anything. You, however, are all his sweetness. For you he is compliant and tamed.

Rin loves how your thighs helplessly quiver and try to push him away when he grazes your clit with his teeth; he knows what your pretty pussy really wants, it never lies. He’ll answer the ache of your throbbing core with his tongue, letting it slide in and out of your walls as his nose hits your clit over and over. It’s unclear how he can breathe down there but you could care less because the knot in your abdomen has become unbearable as he tongue fucks you.

He winces and pants into your cunny when your nails dig into his sensitive scalp, the sting ignites him with the burn to watch you unravel. Strings of curses and chants of his name leave you in a hurry, your body feeling lighter as you let yourself go for him. The crescendo of his tongue against your clit continues while you whine, “oh..! ah— my god. It’s s’good.” Your head falls back as you grind out the rest of your orgasm on his face to your heart's content.

He is so painfully hard, and even harder feeling you cum against his tongue without the use of his hands. It makes his pride swell when you run your fingers in his hair as he provides tentative kitten licks to your overstimulated bud.

“You’re so good for me honey,” you say after you find your voice. Your arms reach for him down on his knees, needy to feel his skin on yours following your intense climax. You tug his lumbering body on top of yours, caressing the smooth skin of his large biceps.

It may seem like he’s watching you with an expressionless stare but really you light his every nerve ending on fire, setting off hundreds of reactions and inappropriate thoughts with your every move. He shudders feeling your fingertips graze his clavicle. “You like when I touch you like this, right Rin?” He can barely hold himself steady above you when your legs wrap around his torso and your small hands glide down his toned chest. You swear you heard his breath hitch as you outline his abs with your fingers and grind against his hardening cock.

“Mhhm,” he groans as you kiss his neck, pulling him further into you with your thighs. Despite his aloof and unkind demeanor, Rin soaks up any positive attention you give him. A reaction between the needy and the giving.

“There’s that pleased sigh, relax lovie,” you breathe into his ear as your hands explore his bare back. Rin’s balls pulse uncomfortably with every saccharin laced word and every stupid rhyming nickname that leaves your puffy lips. Fuck, he needs you bad, all his sorrow and frustration melted away by your mere praise and attention.

But you’re quicker to act than he is, freeing his long needy dick from his boxers, lining it up with your entrance as you lay back. Somehow you always know exactly what he needs before he even says it, it gets him so hot and bothered to be desired like this. “Give it to me, I want you Rin,” you say pressing his fleshy pink tip to your cunts entrance.

Logic can’t help him, not when your hot, tight, wet body was sprawled out begging to get fucked by him. All thoughts of his loss, teammates, and game leave his mind as soon as your gummy walls gripped his cock.

“You’re squeezing baby, relax,” he reminds you in an even tone while thumbing your clit. Things tend to get tight if he doesn’t finger you, just a byproduct of his impressive length. His instincts tell him to slam into you again and again till he loses sense of himself but you seem to have other plans.

“How can I when your cock feels this good, like it was made for me.” Rin whines at your sultry tone, twitching inside you in an effort to not let your dirty words get the better of him. “Quit,” he warns with a particularly hard thrust that has your teeth chattering.

“I can take it,” you tell him confidently, locking eyes with him in a challenge before you stare at his lips. You’re so avaricious over him it drives him crazy, how could he deny you?

That’s why he’ll drag his hips in and out of your cunt, indenting your body into the mattress below with each thwap of his hips against your bare ass. He’s to shy to admit how fucking good it feels so he’ll bury his face in your chest or neck to suppress his noises.

It feels like all you can do is hang on to him as he holds your waist firmly and his strong hips piston in n’ out of you; drilling your rigid form into the opposingly soft sheets. “So full Rin,” you’re blissed out from the rate at which he slams himself inside you, causing tears to prick at the corners of your eyes as your voice begins to slur from pleasure.

He doesn’t mean to, he swears he would never be so rough with your body; but he can’t help it. You’re beautiful, you’re praising him, andddd he’s utterly weak for how creamy your walls feel as he fucks you like a dog.

In his trance like state he apologizes before pushing your knees to your head, spreading you impossibly wider for him so he can feel you that much closer. The intimacy of his need makes you feel warm from the tips of your toes up; you feel yourself threatening to cum.

“Not yet, I’m not done with you.” He says, groaning as he sheaths his length in your walls, base to tip. Every whimper and thrust from him makes you cry out, but he can’t stop. Not when he’s so tantalizingly close to cumming his brains out, so he’ll apologize again and again as he bullies all mean 8 inches where no one else can claim you.

You can’t hold it, releasing all over him in slurs of ‘I love you Rin’ and ‘ah! Don’t stop.’ Seeing you at your highest satisfaction makes his toes curl and with a mere sloppy 3 thrusts, he’s pulling out to cum all over your pussy, admiring how it pools down to your slit. “I’m sorry baby, fuck— ew. Let me clean you up.”

When he returns to you with a wet rag it’s silent as he climbs back into bed. Wiping the mark of his filthy desires from the insides of your legs while you pet his head. “You made me feel .. unbelievable,” you say trying to meet his gaze, not yet done praising him for a job well done.

“I don’t need your pity, shut up and let me clean you.” There’s no bite in his voice, no sarcasm nor malice. Once he’s done he returns to his previous position, laying his head in your lap as you sit in comfortable silence. His thumb rubs appreciative circles in your skin as a way of verbalizing his love for you, it’s only thanks to you that he was able to ground himself.

[amiaclone]

begging on my knees pls write se-mi (player 380) x reader where se-mi is flirting with reader but she’s completely oblivious!!!

love ur work!

Thank you! And yes i will I’ve gotten so much se mi 🥲 can’t blame you though she’s gorgeoussss

Se-Mi x gn! Reader

“Wow the money is as worth to me as being by your side”

“Aw really? Thanks!”

Se-Mi mentally sighed this was a very obvious pick up line too!

It’s not like you were stupid when Nam-Gyu tried to insult you in a complimenting way you weren’t afraid to talk back and call out the insult you were just……oblivious about flirting that’s all

Se-Mi immediately took a liking to you the second she started talking to you and decided to protect you in the games so….she could have some fun with you when we’re here and maybe even communicate outside the games

Luck was not on her side as you barely reciprocated her flirty gestures

Maybe you just aren’t into her? Could be it hopefully not maybe she should just confess?

I mean she’s tried everything comparing you and your beautiful looks to random objects hand holding just simply being nice and those lovey-dovey qoutes rarely……Does she have to go Thanos level for you to realise your flirting with her?

She’d never do that as that would make her lose all respect for herself

Anyways here she is hanging out with you away from her annoying team just talking to you

“Soo-“

“Huh?” *She suddenly turned her head to you she was daydreaming….about you*

“Nothing you seemed tense that’s all. You’ve been spacing out a lot today does this mean we’re getting closer?” *You smiled sweetly Se-Mi honestly couldn’t tell if you were flirting or not*

“I suppose so” *She smiles* “Just thinking about important stuff that’s all”

You quirked an eyebrow smiling ��A strategy for the games? It better be that cause honestly we barely survived this game someone smart and pretty like you definitely knows what to do…”

Se-Mi smiled a bit maybe she wasn’t being dense but to her you definitely had feelings for her which is a relief but she has to be sure “Yeah sorry not that when i do i promise I’ll tell you first you’re probably my favourite person here”

You smiled “Aw don’t be cheesy….you’re definitely my favourite person too”

It cues to you all with your team you formed! All alliance Se-Mi can barely tolerate but atleast you and Min-Su were on it

You left to go to the bathroom so then Thanos turned to Se-Mi “So when are you gonna tell them?”

Se-Mi quirked an eyebrow frowning “Tell them what?” Thanos leaned back “Senorita it’s so obvious you’re into her….you think we’re all as dense as her or something?”

“Don’t call them that”

“Ooh! She so does like her!” *His annoying friend Nam-Gyu giggled like a preschooler*

Se-Mi sighed “And what if i do? It’s not like it’s any of your business”

Thanos smirked a bit “Well i for one don’t care about whatever you do with your relationships but the flirty mushy stuff is killing my vibe…..besides what if you or her died?”

She rolled her eyes “Hypocrite” she thought to herself

He was right about one thing though if you did die she’d be pretty upset in general but especially not confessing…..what if you don’t feel the same way? Honestly she doesn’t even care she’ll confess….after the next game she promised that

Cues to mingle it was the second round Se-Mi has been holding your hand the whole time you swear it’s stuck to her

“Uh Se-Mi-“

“Quick!”

The number was five Thanos kicked out Gyeong-Su and she dragged you and Min-Su barely

You breathed heavily while barely making it into the room you stared at Se-Mi she sighed “Well atleast we were stuck together the whole time…..like mates or something”

You sighed smiling “Yeah mates…..good friends”

Se-Mis grinded her teeth

You ended up losing Se-Mi during one of the later rounds as Thanos kicked her out and eventually you and you’ve been barely trying to survive

Eventually it was one of the last rounds before you could even process who grabbed you and dragged you into the room it was locked

You signed in relief that Se-Mi was alive “Se-Mi..”

She smiled back in relief that you were still alive thankfully it was the last round “Atleast we’re alone in this together…..”

It was true we’d be in room for about 30 seconds till the hoodies took the bodies

You thooght for a second “Yeah….I’m glad it’s you though and not some creep….”

Se-Mi didn’t even care that you didn’t get gesture since atleast you both were alive

The two of you walked out in time cue Se-Mi avoided Thanos and dragged you away incase they tried to bother you

You and Se-Mi were then eating your food here she was pondering in thought again

You frowned she’s been thinking a lot lately is something bothering her? Is it someone at home? You were gonna finally ask that

“Hey Se-Mi…..are you okay?”

She snapped her head towards you “I’ve just been thinking about……something really important”

You smiled sweetly “Well you don’t have to tell me I’m just worried that’s all”

Se-Mis heart warmed over it “Well…..It’s you”

You laughed a bit “Me? Seriously do you have a crush on me or something”

Se-Mi could barely process what you just said is she supposed to laugh say she loves you in tears? It came off as “Well….Yeah i do like you”

“Oh why didn’t you make it obvious?” You quirked an eyebrow “I like you too”

[cognitiveoverload]

I know who you are! (Aaron Hotchner x reader)

summary: Knowing a lot about serial killer cases can come in handy when the new resident who asked for your number is a little too familiar.

tags: witness protection era!Hotch, hint of a soft!dom personality, children's book author!reader

It’s an itch in your brain that you can’t scratch. You know that you have seen him before, you just don’t know where. A coffee shop? A grocery store? It’s killing you, driving you crazy, but no matter how many nights you spend thinking, you just can’t remember. How could you forget someone like him? There is something about him, that rare smile, those warm brown eyes that you can’t stop thinking about.

Then, as you are watching an FBI press conference about a serial killer on the loose, you suddenly remember. Of course. Your little obsession with serial killer cases comes with a lot of these press conferences and interviews, that’s where you saw him. And his name… What was his name? Determined to find the answer, you begin to investigate, searching for articles and videos on the internet that luckily doesn’t forget. 

And there he is, standing on the steps of a police station, wearing a suit that seems so strange compared to the casual clothes he wears these days. He looks extremely serious, strict, and in all honesty, you can’t blame him. What he did on a daily basis must have been a lot to handle mentally, especially if he had a son to look out for.

The next day you send him a text to find out when he’ll be home, and to your surprise, he replies in a minute, saying he’s there so you can jump in whenever you’re around. It’s been over a week since he asked for your number at his son’s soccer match, but you only texted and talked on the phone so far. Yet, even those were enough to let you learn a lot about him, and you grew to like this man. 

When he opens the door with that stupidly handsome smile of his, you begin to wonder if revealing what you know is a good idea, but deep down you can’t help yourself. “Hey. So… is this you?” you ask with a cute smile, showing him a screenshot on your phone. 

The blood drains from his face, and his suddenly serious expression tells you maybe it wasn’t such a good idea after all. He grabs your arm—surprisingly gently, so it won’t leave a mark—and pulls you inside, then presses your back against the now closed door. “Where did you find this?” 

“I knew I’ve seen you before, but for days I couldn’t remember where. Then I saw a press conference with an FBI agent about a serial killer on the loose and bam! It came to me as a vision,” you explain calmly. You’re not afraid of him, because even though he definitely looks like someone who could hurt you, you can also tell that he has no intention to do so.

For a long moment he watches you in silence, but then he lets out a sigh and takes a few steps away from you. “Did you tell anyone about this?” he asks quietly, although his voice is laced with worry. 

Without hesitation, you shake your head. You’re not that dumb. “You recently moved here with a fake name… Must have a reason for that. I don’t want to get involved, it has more to do with satisfying my curiosity. Now your reaction confirmed I was right, and the case is closed as far as I’m concerned,” you explain. 

“Just like that?”

“Just like that.” 

He nods, then inhales and exhales slowly, his eyes carefully studying your face. The serious expression is eventually replaced with a much softer look, but he remains silent, as if he was trying to gather the confidence to say what’s on his mind. But it’s weird, he hasn’t struck you as the type of guy who lacks confidence. Quite the opposite, actually.

And then he speaks up. “Stay for dinner,” he says, his voice gentle and a little hesitant, as if it has been a while since he asked anyone out. Or was it that? You must be seeing a little too much into this invitation.

But then you realize what this is all about. “That’s your way of keeping me silent?”

He flashes a boyish smile at you. “Trust me, if I wanted to silence you, that’s not how I would do it,” he points out with a laugh.

“Was it a threat I should be afraid of, or… Never mind.”

“No, no, say it,” he tells you, the request sounding a little like it was an order. “Or what?”

You can feel the heat rise to your cheeks, because why would you tell him what you were really thinking about? Hell, you feel ashamed for something like this even occurring to you, you won’t make things worse by saying it out loud. Maybe it’s time to leave, maybe this is the moment when you turn down the offer and walk out of the house with your dignity still intact. 

Sadly, when you gulp and move to open the door, he steps closer to you and covers your hand on the doorknob with his to stop you. You must look like a deer in the headlights as you look up at him, frozen from terror because you feel trapped, but it doesn’t bother him, he just raises an eyebrow and waits for your answer in silence. 

With a soft sigh, you try to pull your hand away from his, but he only tightens his grip around it. “It just had a weird edge to it, like the sentence had a kind of rated R meaning,” you explain, speaking so fast you hope he doesn’t understand a single word. 

But he does. And that smug bastard is enjoying every second of your suffering. “Clever girl,” he purrs as he leans closer. “So, dinner. Now that you know who I am, the least you can do is take the time to one, tell me why you remember stuff like those press conferences, and two, give me some proper adult company.” The end of that sentence shocks you, but he sees the look on your face and quickly shakes his head. “Not that kind of adult company. Just a glass of wine and a conversation after Jack goes to bed.” You let out a sigh of relief, but that peaceful moment doesn’t last long. “Unless you want a different kind of adult activity, because…”

“Hey!” you warn him as you playfully slap his arm. “Just so you know, I spend my time writing children’s books, I need a hobby. Serial killer cases and horror movies are good for me.” He gives you a doubtful look, although there’s a teasing smirk on his lips. “What?”

“Be here at six,” he says as he finally lets go of your hand that slides off the doorknob. “And wear something nice for me.” 

For a moment you only stare at him, but then you nod. Damn it, you can’t say no to this face. Anything you want, handsome.

[revelboo]

Do you think Earthspark! Soundwave is gonna eventually soften up a bit about the human Laserbeak wanted?

I imagine that Lazerbeak, and Frenzy are gonna take pics of Soundwave holding the human relatively gently, and title it some thing like: Dad and the Cat He Didn't Want.

Then Soundwave is gonna see them snickering over their camera, and demand that they delete the photo. But they just kinda snicker, and run away with the camera. So he makes Ravage retrieve it for him instead.

He will eventually ease up the aggression some. But you’re a constant reminder that Megs defected for a human and your kind helped the Decepticons lose the war. He’s a tiny bit bitter about it

Skin and Bones and The Conversation are next for updates, but 48 degree treadmill run first

Son Of A Gun Pt 4

Earthspark Soundwave x Reader

• Venting on a growl as he works, his servos clench on the tool in his hand and accidentally bends it as the shrill scream of Frenzy’s guitar pierces the silence. Not sure how long he’s been bent over the new power converter, only that his joints are stiff as he straightens. Heading in the direction of the noise to tell them to stop, he rocks to a stop when he hears the laughter. How long has it been since he’s heard any of his cassettes laugh? Not since the accident. Everything stained and uncomfortable now all the time. He’s almost certain Ravage is the only one that doesn’t blame him.

• “I’m not going to stop until you try it,” Frenzy insists, pushing the guitar at you until you take it in self defense. “You’re holding it wrong,” Lazerbeak adds as you try to figure it out while they laugh at you. The other one, Ravage, nearby but keeping her distance. When you’d tried to stand to see if you could sneak away, her head had lifted to stare you down. Getting run down by an alien panther not even remotely appealing, because you suspect Daddy told her to keep you from running. Huffing, you strum the guitar and all three cringe and then laugh louder. “What was that?” Frenzy howls, waving her hands at you. Like you have any idea what you’re going?

• How can they be so relaxed around you? You’re their size, so they don’t see you as a threat to them. Lingering in the shadows, Soundwave wants to knock you down. Hates watching Frenzy and Lazerbeak try to coach you on her guitar. Like you belong with them, instead of being an intruder. As soon as Rumble’s repaired, you won’t be needed to fill that gap left behind. And he’s going to enjoy ridding himself of you. Swallowing a growl, he strides into the room and bends, snagging you by the back of your shirt as you cry out and Frenzy catches her guitar. While he wants nothing to do with you, he doesn’t want you corrupting his cassettes either.

• What imagined slight did you commit this time? Kicking only makes you spin slightly as he turns and heads back into his workroom with you. Anger issues daddy, seeming to only have two modes: annoyed and pissed off. “If I’m doing something wrong, you could just tell me to stop? Or, I don’t know, let me go?” You suggest, head craning to see his face, not that you can tell anything from it. The growl that rumbles from him, though? He’s pissed. Again.

• “Let you go?” Snarling, he flicks his servos so you go airborne with a scream and catching you again. Your terror not nearly as satisfying as he expected it would be as you cling to his servos, sobbing. “Don’t speak.” He adds, annoyed with you and himself. Moving to his workstation, he drops you on top and ignores you to resume working. Aware of his three cassettes in the doorway watching, drawn by your scream. And you are mostly silent, sitting with your back to him and trembling, breath hitching. The fact that those little noises make him feel guilty only making him angrier. You don’t belong here, they don’t need you. He doesn’t need you.

Previous

[gifsbysimplysonia]

Hola otra vez! For anyone not familiar with my annoying rambly feedback, ahead there be

This is the end of the first paragraph of the story and it's just so fcking ... like it works SO well for me, it makes me wanna spike a football

it's hard to find places where he's thought of as a stranger. no familiar faces, no conversation, no fuss. just logan, a bottle of whisky and time.

logan had no reason to keep count. until he saw you.

Well, if there's any indication a man is smitten, I'd say it's when he decides to keep counting after 200 years on Earth cuz of YOU *ded*

the bar was busy, as it normally was. he didn't mind it this way, less attention on him, less chances of someone trying to pick a fight with a specific stranger. not that they'd win, but logan had grown too tired for petty fights these days.

It's super interesting to think about Logan in relation to time and age. We just went from him deciding he's got a reason to keep counting the years to him being so tired that he doesn't want to get into petty fights. And as someone who grew up with Logan on the XMen cartoon lol, I know Logan to BE petty. So whilst we can't always think of Logan in terms of age, cuz looking at his appearance can make us forget, to hear that he's so TIRED that he doesn't even wanna squabble up on occasion? Well, that's impactful. The author makes it hit home in this other way and I really like it.

And here's another example of the author getting across to us where Logan is at when we meet him in life:

you're easy on the eyes, especially to these tired old hues that have grown accustomed to staring at the same old walls.

Straight up now we have the word tired, but also old. And not in relation to himself, but what he's got eyes on. It's such a clever thing the author has done here, and I really am appreciative of it.

logan can't let himself look too much, he isn't allowed nice things, especially not pretty little things such as yourself. he's poison, tainting everything he touches, spoiling it. he's experienced enough heartbreak, enough losses for a lifetime and more.

Sad face. This is very in line with the Logan I think most of us know (and adore). Gotta take all the blame, gotta punish yourself, gotta try to protect others from you by denying yourself connections. Wanna hug him.

he wonders if you know most of the tips you receive by the end of the night are from him. you're diligent, you work hard, and you deserve more than the minimum wage you're probably getting.

Also very on brand for Logan. Sees a need, fills the need, but doesn't want credit for it. He's also seeing someone he believes is worthy (and perhaps not in a way he feels he could ever be?) of more so he tries to be the provider.

it's not even lust on his mind either, he just finds himself captivated by your presence. he wonders about your life, your interests, your dreams. . .

And again, we are seeing how smitten he is because the man who has been painted as weary and bored suddenly has questions and wonderings again. That is, in the context of Logan's long a$$ existence, quite magical. But that magic is immediately followed by

though he'd be lying if he said he'd never pictured bending you over against the bar and fucking you senseless. he is an animal, after all.

and it's like

relying on others was a weakness. besides, what would you be to him but just another person he'd lose someday? it wasn't worth it. you weren't worth it. fuck.

"Relying on others was a weakness" is just hella relatable to me, so I key in on that. And then that ire being followed by showing vulnerability by thinking of her as another person he'd lose; Logan's heart has always been huge and you just know he remembers the faces and details of each person he has had to lose and she has that status already. Logan trying to lie to himself with the "not worth it" talk only to have to curse himself cuz he KNOW he's lying is also peak Logan behavior, and once again on a personal level, hiiiiiiiiiiiiiighly relatable lol. I'm always lying to myself about my own feelings.

you were strangers, this was stupid, it was all fucking stupid. but the mind of a lonely old man is a desperate one, and what logan really craves isn't just eye candy.

"Lonely and desperate" self descriptions and Logan referring to himself as "stupid." I'm sure we all wanna shake this old man, right? LOL because when he let's himself think about the truth:

he craves a touch, that first touch that sparks electricity throughout your every nerve ending, causes goosebumps to ripple along the skins surface. he craves something, anything. he was so fucking hungry. always so fucking hungry. a rumbling hunger that starts at the pit of his stomach and gnaws through him like a rabid animal frantically trying to escape a suffocating metal cage. it's a hunger he can't satisfy, he knows he can't satisfy. but he'd been alone so long.

It's connection, and it's gnawing at him. Loneliness is a helluva thing, and I think a lot of us know this. But this author is shining in the way she is describing it for us, outside of the usual age/years gone by methods. Tired, lonely, and now ravenous. And while we are in the space of a more spiritual hunger, here, it so easily slides right back to physical as well because he's thinking about a woman and wonders

surely one bite couldn't hurt?

Me literally screaming into my pumpkin pillow cuz I'm like NO IT COULDN'T LOGAN, GO GET HERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR cuz I know what's gonna follow is gonna be liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit.

switching bars wasn't particularly appealing to him, but it was better than having to look at you and feel that familiar ache.

The self loathing and denial is top tier Logan. He will inconvenience and punish himself just as long as it's in line with denying himself cuz he just "doesn't deserve it." Siiiiiiiiiiiiiigh.

Logan then proceeds to go drain the snake before he beings his newest self inflicted penance, but she comes in to clean the bathrooms thinking they were empty.

Gurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrl lol

your eyes lock on one another for just a split second before you quickly busy yourself with the mop again. but that split second was enough. it was enough to notice how you were looking at him.

HOW WAS SHE LOOKING AT YOU, LOGAN?!?! It's funny how if it was almost any other man, I'd snort and be like, sure buddy. But it's Logan so I have ZERO issue believing whatever he saw in her eyes let her know she DOES indeed know him and want ... well, something.

you lean back against the bathroom stall divider, eyes drifting across logan's figure. he was tall, big. this is the first time you're really able to look at him, to study the features of his face. this time he's not hiding behind a glass or a bottle.

How interesting to see the contrast of her view of Logan because while he's always looking at her and sworn that he never caught her looking his way, she's letting us know she has definitely looked his way enough to notice he was a man in hiding. And she actually acted respectfully to respect that and not ogle him, which bummed Logan out lol.

the hunger in his gaze is obvious, but it's dulled, like he's just barely holding back. you think he looks lonely, there's a distinct air about him that practically screams that he needs to be touched.

Oof, she's intuitive! So she SEES what he needs and seems to be quite willing to, ahem, deliver for him but WILL HE LET HER is the big question.

logan pushes himself from the sink and approaches you slowly. was he really doing this? after a month of pining and longing for you, a stranger in a bar, was he really going to give in to his desires? would you let him? the lust was clear in your eyes and he knew he was reflecting it right back tenfold.

you eye the stranger who's been watching you, tipping you. of course you've noticed, you'd have to be pretty stupid or oblivious not to. you've come to expect him at each shift, but his presence intrigued you more than the other regulars. not just because he was more handsome, considerably more handsome. no, it was those sad eyes that seemed to say a million words while his mouth remained firmly shut that had you curious. even now as he stands before you so silent you could hear a pin drop, when you look into his eyes you can feel a sea of words brewing.

I do so love the fact that she's intuitive, curious and sees beyond the big burly handsome cover. He never speaks but look at his eyes and boy, are there a thousand stories waiting to be told. And it's the SAME WAY in the present with her. Liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiike, it's about to go off.

oh how you wanted to open him up, to peer inside behind that rough exterior, to take a peek behind the facade. you're sure you're easier to read than he is.

Again, I love that this goes beyond physical with her and that she's genuinely intrigued by him and by what probably most others don't see in Logan.

"i've seen you, you know," you mumble bravely, "looking at me." logan doesn't seem surprised, he brings a hand up to hold your chin, turning your face from side to side to get a proper look at you now that he has you up close. "yeah?" "yeah," you reply shakily, "thought i was imagining it at first. but by the second night it was obvious." he smirks, so he's not as subtle as he thinks.

No because how is he the King of Self Denial but somehow automatically is giving Dom the first time he approaches a woman he means to get to know? Not even embarrassing at being caught at his blatant perusal of her. SIR.

logan grips your wrists, not the suit. he wasn't talking about that now, he had to shut you up.

When I tell you this BROKE me. King of Self Inflicted Penance. I stg. And it's quite the conundrum to be going through an emotional gut punch when it's immediately followed up with

he leans in, capturing your lips in a passionate kiss as his strong hands keep a firm grip on your wrists. you submit, leaning back against the cubicle divider as you let him slip his tongue into your mouth.

and we know it is OFF TO THE RACES!!!

"taste so fuckin' sweet," he mumbles against your lips, kissing you between words, "you do this often? let men kiss you in the bathroom?" you mumble a 'no' under your breath, ". . . just the ones who tip good," you grin.

OH SH!T, WE HAVE HAN AND LEIA BANTER! They are my OTP so I'm always gonna call a combative in love couple that, but this dynamic is MY JAM and I love that what we seem to have here is a clearly dominant male with a bratty female. I am in Heaven lol

logan feels himself chuckling, biting your lower lip. oh, he liked you.

WE DO TOO, LOGAN!

his hand travels upwards, finding purchase around your neck. you gasp in response, moaning. he eagerly swallows your moan with his mouth, drowning out any sound that threatens to escape.

Always a trip when I am personally attacked by a fic lmaoooooooooo

he kisses you like a man starved, like he'd devour you if you let him. and you would, you think, if it felt this good.

"shhh, shhh," he whispers against your lips, "feel good? i know it feels good, but you gotta stay nice and quiet."

I want to diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiie at the giving of instructions and reminder that, HEY WE ARE IN PUBLIC but we are absolutely NOT stopping.

"you wanted this just as much as i did, huh?" he growls into your ear, "need it, need me to fuck you."

Excellent dirty taaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalk

he nods against the side of your cheek, his stubble scratching against your soft skin, "there we go, attagirl. . ."

And he praises? *dies again*

"yeah i am," logan smirks, he knows he's big, and he knows exactly how to use it. you just have time to gasp before you feel one of his hands connect harshly with your skin, the sound ringing out in the small bathroom of the bar.

"you've been thinkin' about this since you started your shift," logan says confidently, his words confirmed by how you drip around him, "thought about me fillin' you up, nice and full?"

I once again must mention top tier dirty talk!

and fuck does it make him harder to know that you've thought about this just as much as he has.

Once again, Logan's vulnerability is illustrated here because it's very human and natural to WANT TO BE WANTED so that it's exciting for him makes all the sense.

he knows if he lets you look at him, look up at him for too long, he'll lose it. he can't have your soft eyes on him while he fucks you, he doesn't deserve it.

*shakes him* He's still so Logan. Trying to convince himself again he is just not worthy. But I also do this to myself which is no doubt why I key on it, mention it, react to it. That just means the author is striking a chord with me and isn't that what we want? To feel resonance and know we are not alone in our experiences?

because he can't describe the shame that swirls in his stomach, that this is how he relieves himself, a quick fuck in a bar. this dirty older man who's seen so much sin, perpetuated sin with his own hands, who longed for the young pretty little thing in the bar. logan doesn't deserve nice things, this he knows.

It's a jarring feeling to be really into some hot smut and then have there be an intermission of this caliber. Cuz again, we are seeing into Logan's heart and his internal self who just screams and screams about not being worthy. And it's so painful and wretched for us as an audience cuz we KNOW it's not true and we just wish HE WOULD SEE IT.

you can't help but smirk, mouth stuck open as you moan softly, he likes it when you talk to him during, huh?

Even in her blissful state, she is noticing what he likes and trying to provide that for him and I love her for considering him and being thoughtful with him. HE doesn't think he deserves it, but we readers know that he absolutely does so it's sweetness in this midst of lust and shows us that she cares beyond whatever is happening now in this bathroom.

Y'all NEED to go read this cuz the smut is rough but because of the well established connection the author built between these two, it's very intimate despite the circumstances which don't necessarily lend themselves to anything other than a "quickie." Because of what's going on between these two and how well laid out that is for us, we know that the reason this is so rough and intimate is BECAUSE it's not meant for just here and now. But will Logan allow anything more?

standing on trembling legs, you lean up, giving him a surprisingly soft kiss. your hands take over his, helping him back into his jeans, zipping them up, clasping the buttons together and buckling his belt. all the while your lips are on his, slowly, passionately intertwining together.

And again, I love her for her thoughtfulness. She's being soft and tender with him. I'm not sure if it's a conscious effort to keep him from screwing things up (by trying to now brush her off) or if it's just naturally who she is and giving into her instinct to want to be gentle with him and keep him close. Either way, I love love love this moment.

". . . does that count as your tip for the night?" you joke with a smirk, hoping to see a flash of his smile again, hoping to alleviate some of that shame he's carrying.

Adore her for infusing humor into the situation and wanting to bring light back into his eyes. Whoever is going to be with Logan needs to have a sense of humor and give him as good as he gives.

the shame seems to settle, begins to dissipate. it feels less like satisfying an urge and more like. . . exploring something new. his eyes drift back to you.

Is Logan ACTUALLY going to give this thing a chance, and more importantly, HIMSELF a chance?!?!

I hate to quote too much in a story, especially an ending becuase I WANT PEOPLE TO GO READ FOR THEMSELVES but I need @silverskyeline to know that the last 3 paragraphs of this piece are SO FCKING GOOD.

The breakthrough and revelation he has, the tentative willingness to let himself release a burden and not self flagellate? OMGGGGGGGGGGG. Literally all the applause and bravo on this amazing piece. I really really fcking enjoyed it and am so grateful to you for creating and sharing.

It's really a wonderful character analysis or look at who Logan is, the person he think he has to be, with some hot smut that actually isn't a pause in the narrative but continues the throughline of exploring who he is and what he thinks he deserves and how he's giving himself permission to be a man again. I just ... I love this so so much. Thank you again.

'hunger' 18+

worst!wolverine x f!reader (3.9k words) summary: logan can't tear his mind away from the new barmaid at his usual haunt. he tries to resist you, he really does. but when you're both alone in the bathroom, he finds he's not the only one plagued with filthy thoughts. tags: for the 'longing' prompt for logan promptober, set in the bar from the movie, kind of angsty, filthy, pent up logan, alcohol consumption, doggy style, creampie, biting, light choking, pinning wrists, hair pulling, spanking, rough sex, implied age gap, sweet ending.

his usual haunts offer comfort, safe nests tucked away down isolated roads, usually requiring quite the drive to find - it's hard to find places where he's thought of as a stranger. no familiar faces, no conversation, no fuss. just logan, a bottle of whisky and time.

time spent staring into the grain of the old wood on the bar wondering how the fuck he ended up here. he'd stopped keeping count a long time ago, how long he'd been around, been alive. things get kind of hazy after two hundred years. logan had no reason to keep count.

until he saw you.

the bar was busy, as it normally was. he didn't mind it this way, less attention on him, less chances of someone trying to pick a fight with a specific stranger. not that they'd win, but logan had grown too tired for petty fights these days.

he's sat at the bar when the bartender clocks off, switching with someone new, someone he'd never seen before. you walk in and his eyes immediately scan your face, your build, your outfit. it's a habit of his, one he hoped he'd grow out of - but logan has learned that he'll never stop assessing for new threats. it's just in his dna.

but what he finds isn't a threat.

you're easy on the eyes, especially to these tired old hues that have grown accustomed to staring at the same old walls. he drags his eyes back down to his glass like he's forcing himself to look down the barrel of a gun rather than looking at you, before settling on you once more.

logan can't let himself look too much, he isn't allowed nice things, especially not pretty little things such as yourself. he's poison, tainting everything he touches, spoiling it. he's experienced enough heartbreak, enough losses for a lifetime and more.

. . . but what harm can looking do?

a few weeks pass, logan notices you're in every few nights from now on, must have been put on the regular rota. he wonders if you know most of the tips you receive by the end of the night are from him. you're diligent, you work hard, and you deserve more than the minimum wage you're probably getting.

you've never noticed him, or at least, he's never caught you looking in his direction. but he finds himself craving it, willing your eyes to meet his even for a second. the extent of your interactions have been sliding a glass or a bottle in his direction before continuing with your other duties.

it's not even lust on his mind either, he just finds himself captivated by your presence. he wonders about your life, your interests, your dreams. . . though he'd be lying if he said he'd never pictured bending you over against the bar and fucking you senseless.

he is an animal, after all.

he wonders if he should switch bars just to distance himself. he couldn't let himself become comfortable with the idea of you. relying on others was a weakness. besides, what would you be to him but just another person he'd lose someday? it wasn't worth it. you weren't worth it.

fuck.

logan curses himself under his breath for even having this internal debate. you were strangers, this was stupid, it was all fucking stupid. but the mind of a lonely old man is a desperate one, and what logan really craves isn't just eye candy. he craves a touch, that first touch that sparks electricity throughout your every nerve ending, causes goosebumps to ripple along the skins surface. he craves something, anything.

he was so fucking hungry. always so fucking hungry. a rumbling hunger that starts at the pit of his stomach and gnaws through him like a rabid animal frantically trying to escape a suffocating metal cage. it's a hunger he can't satisfy, he knows he can't satisfy. but he'd been alone so long.

surely one bite couldn't hurt?

no, he finds himself shaking his head as he stands from the bar. he'd take a leak, and leave early. it'd only been a month since he first saw you, he could get over this. switching bars wasn't particularly appealing to him, but it was better than having to look at you and feel that familiar ache.

the bathroom door swings open and he walks inside, situating himself at one of the urinals. a few moments later, the door swings open again, logan doesn't bother to look over.

"oh, thought these were empty, sorry."

his head turns quickly. it's you, mop in hand. there's an uncomfortable silence that follows.

speak, fucking speak. "it's fine."

you pause, then nod a little and begin mopping the floor.

his eyes are back on the urinal, swallowing hard. was this really going to be your first conversation? with his eyes glaring into old porcelain, dick in his hand? he tries not to picture you stealing glances at him, but he can't help it. is that what he wants?

maybe.

finishing up, he quickly makes his way over to the sinks, pushing his hands under the cool water and rubbing with soap. his eyes flit up to the mirror. and he catches you.

your eyes lock on one another for just a split second before you quickly busy yourself with the mop again.

but that split second was enough. it was enough to notice how you were looking at him.

"all done," you say with a sigh after a few moments, standing straight and gripping the mop but making no effort to leave just yet.

logan eyes you in the mirror, watches how your eyes dance across the room before inevitably landing on him again. he turns to face you, noting the distance between you both in the room.

you lean back against the bathroom stall divider, eyes drifting across logan's figure. he was tall, big. this is the first time you're really able to look at him, to study the features of his face. this time he's not hiding behind a glass or a bottle.

the hunger in his gaze is obvious, but it's dulled, like he's just barely holding back. you think he looks lonely, there's a distinct air about him that practically screams that he needs to be touched.

you rest your mop against the wall, "you're in here often." you state, it's not a question.

"guess i'm a regular," he replies curtly.

swallowing hard, you continue, "i noticed. i always have to restock the whisky when you come by."

logan pushes himself from the sink and approaches you slowly. was he really doing this? after a month of pining and longing for you, a stranger in a bar, was he really going to give in to his desires? would you let him? the lust was clear in your eyes and he knew he was reflecting it right back tenfold.

"i like a drink." he says with a subtle shrug, just a step away now, eyes never leaving yours.

a small smile tugs at your lips, "i know."

you're not sure what you're really doing. you're supposed to be on shift, designated five minutes to clean the bathrooms. five minutes you'd much rather spend doing someone something else.

you eye the stranger who's been watching you, tipping you. of course you've noticed, you'd have to be pretty stupid or oblivious not to. you've come to expect him at each shift, but his presence intrigued you more than the other regulars. not just because he was more handsome, considerably more handsome.

no, it was those sad eyes that seemed to say a million words while his mouth remained firmly shut that had you curious. even now as he stands before you so silent you could hear a pin drop, when you look into his eyes you can feel a sea of words brewing.

oh how you wanted to open him up, to peer inside behind that rough exterior, to take a peek behind the facade. you're sure you're easier to read than he is.

you're not sure when or how it happened, but he's right in front of you now, his body almost touching yours. you look up at him with a feigned innocent look.

"i've seen you, you know," you mumble bravely, "looking at me."

logan doesn't seem surprised, he brings a hand up to hold your chin, turning your face from side to side to get a proper look at you now that he has you up close. "yeah?"

"yeah," you reply shakily, "thought i was imagining it at first. but by the second night it was obvious."

he smirks, so he's not as subtle as he thinks.

your hands snake down, finding his belt buckle and brazingly begin to unbuckle it. he watches you, eyes fixated on the way your fingers move. he swears he's about to start drooling. but then you move, hands winding up to the buttons on his shirt. you splay your hands across the fabric, eyes widening when you feel what's underneath.

"are you. . . is that-"

logan grips your wrists, not the suit. he wasn't talking about that now, he had to shut you up. he leans in, capturing your lips in a passionate kiss as his strong hands keep a firm grip on your wrists. you submit, leaning back against the cubicle divider as you let him slip his tongue into your mouth.

he moans, relishing the taste of you, the taste he's thought about for so fucking long. he brings your hands up, pinning them above your head, shifting his grip so one hand easily pins your wrists, leaving his other hand free.

his free hand plants firmly across your upper chest, the rough pads of his fingers brushing against your collarbone as he explores your mouth with his tongue. you're lost in the sensation, knees going weak as you allow the older man to have his way with you. he needs this, you know it.

"taste so fuckin' sweet," he mumbles against your lips, kissing you between words, "you do this often? let men kiss you in the bathroom?"

you mumble a 'no' under your breath, ". . . just the ones who tip good," you grin.

logan feels himself chuckling, biting your lower lip. oh, he liked you. his hand travels upwards, finding purchase around your neck. you gasp in response, moaning. he eagerly swallows your moan with his mouth, drowning out any sound that threatens to escape.

the kiss grows in intensity, you wonder how long it's been since he's kissed someone. he kisses you like a man starved, like he'd devour you if you let him. and you would, you think, if it felt this good.

his hand on your neck gives a gentle squeeze before running down your torso, palming at your jeans suddenly. you try to whimper in pleasure, but he's silencing you with his lips again.

"shhh, shhh," he whispers against your lips, "feel good? i know it feels good, but you gotta stay nice and quiet." logan can feel the material of your jeans begin to damp and he resists the urge to growl, feeling the way the fabric beneath gives way.

you nod, whispering small affirmatives as he touches you through the material. "just give me more," you whine.

and that spurs him on. in a flash he's pushing you into the stall, stealing a few more kisses where he can before he turns you, pushing your back against his chest. his lips find your neck, pressing hot open-mouthed kisses along the skin he finds there.

you're like putty in his hands, melting back against him as his hand returns to your crotch, rough hands massaging circles against your clothed core. you resist a moan, exhaling shakily instead as you let him use you.

"you wanted this just as much as i did, huh?" he growls into your ear, "need it, need me to fuck you."

you nod quickly as you feel his lips curve into a smirk against your skin.

"yeah, thought so," he nibbles on your earlobe, breathing deeply through his nose as he tries to steady himself, preserve the moment. but how can he when you feel this good beneath his fingers, taste this good on his tongue? "tell me you want it."

"want you to fuck me," you whimper almost immediately, suddenly feeling so very needy. there's a hot ache growing between your legs, one you're desperate for him to fill.

logan laughs, "you can do better than that, honey, know you can."

"please," your voice cracks and you swallow back moans as you squirm beneath his touch, "please fuck me-" it becomes apparent to you at that moment that you don't even know his name. your cheeks flush at the thought of letting this stranger, this older man fuck you in the bar bathroom, but actually, you kind of like it that way.

he nods against the side of your cheek, his stubble scratching against your soft skin, "there we go, attagirl. . ."

with that, he pushes you forward, forcing your hands onto the tank of the toilet to support yourself as he bends you over. his hands find your waist, his hips connecting with yours and slowly grinding his very apparent, large bulge against you.

you let out a whimper, arching your back a little at the sudden contact.

"feel that?" he mumbles, guiding your hips to grind back against him, "feel what you do to me?"

a gasp, "fuck, you're big." you can already tell, the way his bulge is pressing against you, demanding to be felt. you swear you can almost feel it throb through the material.

"yeah i am," logan smirks, he knows he's big, and he knows exactly how to use it.

pulling back slightly, he roughly pulls your jeans down, practically manhandling you, your underwear disappearing with it. he grabs handfuls of your ass before kneading the skin. "look at that, pretty little ass, all for me."

you just have time to gasp before you feel one of his hands connect harshly with your skin, the sound ringing out in the small bathroom of the bar. "f-fuck!" you whine, feeling the sharp sting, knowing there's a bright red imprint in the shape of his large palm on your ass.

there's some jingling, the sound of his belt being moved out of the way, a zipper. you prepare yourself, or at least you try to, but his cock is already slapping against your backside before you have time to steady your hazy mind.

"you gonna take all of me?" he asks, biting his lip as his aching length slaps against your skin, "think you can?"

you nod quickly, looking over your shoulder at him, "mhm!"

"if you say so. . ." he smirks and positions himself, one hand on your hip and one aiming his cock at your tight little hole.

then, all at once he's sinking in. you gasp, he gasps. and fuck, he is big. you feel that sweet stretch, his cock throbbing against your tight walls as it slowly glides inside. you're whining as it slowly fills you, eyes rolling back at the sensation. but he pulls out a little, only to push back in again.

he's working you up just right, mesmerised by the way you take his cock. his eyes are fixed on your tight hole begging him to enter, loving the slick sound as it pushes inside.

"you've been thinkin' about this since you started your shift," logan says confidently, his words confirmed by how you drip around him, "thought about me fillin' you up, nice and full?"

despite the way your cheeks flush bright red, you can't deny it. you've thought about it more than once, fantasised about it in bed, hoping that one day that stranger from the bar would fuck you so good you forget your own name.

you don't need to reply either, because he knows. he knows from the way your wet hole flutters around him, and fuck does it make him harder to know that you've thought about this just as much as he has. he begins to pump into you at a leisurely pace, firm hands on your hips.

"holy fuck, so fuckin' tight," logan grumbles, his deep slow strokes hitting you deep as he bottoms out inside of you.

you try to turn your head, to look up at him, but he grasps the back of your hair, pushing your head down. "nu-uh, keep that head down."

he knows if he lets you look at him, look up at him for too long, he'll lose it. he can't have your soft eyes on him while he fucks you, he doesn't deserve it. he'll take you, just like this, with your head down and your ass up and his cock buried deep inside you.

because he can't describe the shame that swirls in his stomach, that this is how he relieves himself, a quick fuck in a bar. this dirty older man who's seen so much sin, perpetuated sin with his own hands, who longed for the young pretty little thing in the bar. logan doesn't deserve nice things, this he knows.

you feel his thrusts grow rougher, your legs slipping apart as you attempt to hold yourself up, hands planted firmly on the tank of the toilet. you're squeaking softly with each pump, feeling him use you to release his pent-up frustrations. and it felt so fucking good.

with his firm grip on your hair tightening by the second and his other large hand digging into your hip, you begin to bounce back against his motions, sending him even deeper. you both moan in sync with the feeling and you pant softly, cheeks flushing further at the soft 'plap plap plap' of his hips connecting with you, the sound reverberating around the small cubicle.

"that feels so fucking good," you sing, closing your eyes. logan gives a particularly hard thrust, speed picking up. you can't help but smirk, mouth stuck open as you moan softly, he likes it when you talk to him during, huh? "keep fuckin' me, just like that, so good. . ."

he groans, wrapping your hair around his fist as he relentlessly pounds into you. harder and harder, deeper and deeper, you're sure you'll have bruises littered over your body before the day is through.

"harder!" you cry, feeling your legs tremble. you're not gonna last long like this, and by the way his cock is twitching inside of you, he isn't either. "i'm gonna cum, you're gonna make me fuckin' cum!"

another groan slips from his lips, gritting his teeth as he uses you, watching you take his throbbing cock beneath him. "look so pretty like this, bent over, takin' what i fuckin- shit. . . takin' what i give you."

your body grows hotter, sweat forming on your forehead, each impact pushing you forward roughly. you're really not gonna last long.

he begins to hunch over, his chest flush with your back as he huffs against your neck, fucking you like a rabid animal. you're squealing now, the pleasure swirling in your lower stomach, threatening to send you crashing into bliss. at this point, you don't fucking care if someone walks in and finds you like this, sees his feet planted behind yours underneath the stall. in fact, the thought of the risk sends a bolt straight to your gut.

"yes yes yes," you mutter, feeling your orgasm approaching steadily. you swear you can feel him in your guts. you begin to flutter around him, begging for release, knowing it's going to completely destroy you.

logan can't even form words, just grunts slipping from his lips against the side of your neck. and then he feels it, his cock twitches, his mind reeling with the imminent release. he needs this, oh he fucking needs this.

he bites down on your neck, teeth sinking in slightly as he feels himself release deep inside you, his cum spilling out in strong waves. you feel your knees buckle, but a strong hand planted on your tummy helps keep you upright as he fucks his release deeper into you.

the animalistic nature of his thrusts combined with the sensation of his hot cum painting your insides sends you flying over the edge, your orgasm milking him as you clamp around his aching cock. he slams his hand against the stall wall with a loud metallic bang, splaying his fingers across the metal as if to ground himself as his thrusts falter.

his tongue lazily licks the indents of his bite mark against your neck, groans easing their way from the back of his throat. you can hardly catch your breath, legs still shaking from such an intense release. it's hard to think straight with his dick still buried deep inside, feeling it twitch with every aftershock.

you both stay like that for a solid minute, panting, coming down together. he's planting soft kisses along your neck as your breath slowly comes back to you.

he pulls out, stepping back as he stuffs himself into his jeans. you collapse onto the toilet seat, shakily pulling your jeans and underwear back up as you look up at him. it's clear he's looking to leave, a distant look in his eye, maybe a little shame creeping into his features.

standing on trembling legs, you lean up, giving him a surprisingly soft kiss. your hands take over his, helping him back into his jeans, zipping them up, clasping the buttons together and buckling his belt. all the while your lips are on his, slowly, passionately intertwining together.

you pull back, buttoning your own jeans as you continue to look up at him. ". . . does that count as your tip for the night?" you joke with a smirk, hoping to see a flash of his smile again, hoping to alleviate some of that shame he's carrying.

and there it is, a small smirk on his lips as he glances away. "maybe."

the shame seems to settle, begins to dissipate. it feels less like satisfying an urge and more like. . . exploring something new. his eyes drift back to you.

"i'll see you tomorrow?" you ask, tilting your head.

he blinks, suddenly remembering time exists outside this small space seemingly crafted just for the two of you. "yeah," he says, quietly.

"good," you pat his chest before moving past him, leaving the stall. you stand, looking back at him. a beat, "or, you can meet me after my shift ends?"

his eyes widen, taken aback. fuck, had he forgotten how to do this? his eyes flit to the side, before making up his mind. he gives a firm nod.

you smile before leaving him in the bathroom, returning to the bar through the door.

logan stands there for a few moments, running his fingers through his hair. he smooths down his shirt, feeling the suit beneath, a stark reminder always of his past.

but maybe he could begin to take a few steps forward. maybe he deserves more than to suffer forever, forced to keep everyone at arm's length. maybe he could allow himself this small happiness, a date, or whatever this was.

maybe it was time to satisfy his hunger, his loneliness, for good.

[geneviveleocardius]

‘till death do us part;

how resident evil men react when you’re beyond saving

leon s. kennedy

leon is emotionally driven, and his guilt would prevent him from letting you go, even if you were completely lost. he’s the type to keep you alive, convinced he could find a cure someday, no matter how hopeless it might seem.

veredict: leon keeps you, no matter the cost.

“i can’t lose you. i won’t. i’ll figure it out, just stay with me.”

chris redfield

chris is a hardened soldier who’s been through hell and understands the cost of letting emotions dictate his actions. if you were beyond saving, he’d take the burden of ending your suffering, even if it destroyed him emotionally.

veredict: chris kills you, out of love and duty.

“i’m sorry… i’ll never forget you.”

ethan winters

ethan is defined by his stubborn love and refusal to let go of the people he cares about. even if you were entirely lost, he’d keep you, believing you were still in there somewhere. he’d risk everything for the smallest chance of saving you.

verdict: ethan keeps you, no matter how dangerous or hopeless.

“we’ve been through too much for me to give up now.”

albert wesker

wesker’s love is calculating, but it’s still love in his own way. if you were infected, he’d see it as a failure on his part to protect you, though he’d never admit it outright. instead, he’d channel his guilt into trying to “save” you—not by curing you, but by enhancing you to survive the infection. even if you were completely lost, wesker would refuse to kill you, keeping you by his side and rationalizing your condition as an evolution rather than a tragedy.

verdict: wesker keeps you, convinced he can “perfect” you.

“you’re not lost—you’re becoming something greater. i’ll ensure you remain by my side, no matter the cost.”

carlos oliveira

carlos is compassionate but pragmatic enough to know when there’s no hope. if keeping you meant you’d suffer or become a danger, he’d take the painful step of ending your life himself. however, he’d struggle to forgive himself for it.

verdict: carlos kills you, but it destroys him.

“i’ll make it quick… i love you too much to let you go on like this.”

jake muller

jake’s cynicism and survival instincts would make him willing to let go if you became a threat. however, his emotional connection to you might push him to keep you, especially if you weren’t actively dangerous. he’d rationalize it as being able to protect and fix you, even if it was reckless.

verdict: jake keeps you, though he knows it’s risky.

“i’ve dealt with worse. you’re not going anywhere.”

luis serra

luis is a deeply empathetic and guilt-ridden man, shaped by his past mistakes. if you were infected, he’d blame himself and obsessively try to save you, using his scientific expertise to search for a cure. however, if it became clear that you were beyond saving, he’d struggle immensely with the idea of letting you go. his sentimental nature might push him to keep you around, clinging to the hope that he could eventually fix things, even if it was dangerous.

verdict: luis keeps you, driven by guilt and love.

“i’ve made too many mistakes in my life… i won’t let losing you be another one. i’ll find a way, cariño. i promise.”

[mattsmedusa]

✎ 𝐜𝐨𝐜𝐤𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐝𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚 𝐳𝐨𝐨𝐦 𝐦𝐞𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 ✮ 𝐜.𝐬

"you’re so warm." chris whispered in your ear as his arms tightened around your waist, pulling you back against him. the slight movement made his cock go deeper in your slippery cunt, eliciting a small quiet moan from you.

you hissed in a deep breath, trying not to lose your composure as you typed on your computer, telling your curious colleagues that due to technical difficulties you were unable to turn on your camera and microphone.

"chris, don’t move so much," you sighed before adding, "and stop purposely going deeper—" your hands fisted on your keyboard, eyes closing shut and eyebrows knitting together for a moment when he did the opposite of what you asked for and pulled you down more.

chuckling in a raspy voice as his hands caressed your thighs, his fingers drawing delicate patterns on your skin. "you said you’d just keep it in there!" you whisper-yelled, and even though you had your mic turned off, you couldn’t help but glance at the mic icon every now and then to see if it’s still off.

"well, can’t really blame me when you’re suckin’ me in like that." he whispered, nipping your earlobe and sending shivers down your spine. his left arm wrapped around your waist from behind and his right hand snaked up and groped your breast. "so soft," he cooed, grinning as he laid his cheek on your shoulder.

"how’d i get into this?" you mumbled to yourself, rolling your eyes when he squeezed your breast repeatedly. "these are so squishy ma, can i take your shirt off? wanna feel ’em."

"you are feeling them, i’m in a meeting call chris—" "please? pretty please? please, please, please?" he cut you off, playfully repeating pleas, laughing to himself afterwards.

"alright— fine, just--just stop moving so much, i can’t focus." chris grinned triumphantly as he lifted the hem of your thin square neck shirt, pulling it up until it was scrunched up over your tits. he hummed happily as he pulled your bra down, letting your breasts spill out.

"mhm, love your tits baby, so beautiful." he said in a sing-song tone as his hands went up to fondle your bare tits.

✩ 𝐚 𝐟𝐞𝐰 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐮𝐭𝐞𝐬 𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐫 ✩

before you knew it, you were getting your brains fucked out by chris. your moans were uncontrollable, your hands gripping anything it could. the mic had turned on due to your hand accidentally grazing the button while trying to find something to hold onto as leverage.

yeah... tomorrow’s gonna be a long day.

୨୧

𝐰𝐜. 𝟒𝟏𝟕

[𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐡 𝐢𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐮𝐚𝐠𝐞!]

𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭: @chaossturns @mels4ngel @lypsiiii @sydneyylainn @sturniolozbae @hearts4werka @strnilolover @matts-sidepiece @hearts4sturniolo @ivysturnss @bumbl3b34 @sophand4n4 @sagesturns

© 𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐬𝐦𝐞𝐝𝐮𝐬𝐚

[livinghalfway]

Younger Years Pt. 4

Masterlist

Summary: Damian gets temp de-aged to 6yrs old; cue him asking where his twin is. This is how everyone finds out about Danny's existence Word Count: 2088

Explaining to them what Talia had said did not make the situation any better. While her information had been helpful it wasn’t nearly enough to calm the storm that raged in them. If anything caused the winds to roar even stronger. They had to know what happened in that room, and the only one that knew was currently 6 years old. Which meant everyone would just have to wait; something this family was never good at especially when it came to personal matters. 

“Talia doesn’t know what really happened to Danyal. Ra’s could have just lied to her, and made Damian swear to never tell her the truth. We all know how much he idolized that man. It would have been easy for Ra’s to convince him it was for the best.” Tim suggests as he types hurriedly at the computer. 

“If Talia thought for a second that he had done something like that it would have come to light by now.” Bruce counters, “Ra’s would still have needed help getting Danyal out of Nanda Parbat, and one of them would have most definitely let it slip to Talia if he had done that.” 

“Which is why Ra’s would have everyone involved killed before they could have done so.” 

“Tim-”

“Crazier things have happened Bruce; multiple people in this family have come back. Why not Danyal?” Tim looks away from the screen for but a second as he interrupts Bruce before focusing back on the screen. A clear sign that he doesn’t want to continue talking about this. 

Bruce leaves Tim to continue his investigation; a part of him hoping that Tim is right. He could never admit that though. It would just be that much more crushing if proven wrong. So he turns attention to Dick, who is still near the med bay ready to rush in if need be.  

“Chum, why don’t you take a rest? Damian is perfectly fine right now, and you look like you need a break.” 

He knew that the reveal of Danyal’s death would hit Dick partially hard as someone who was very protective of his younger siblings. It wouldn’t matter to him that Danyal died before he even knew of his existence. Bruce expected Dick to be consumed with sadness right now. He wasn’t though he was overcome with fury. 

“A rest Bruce? We all just found out that Damian’s twin is dead; that Ra’s did something to make sure Damian wouldn’t tell anyone. And you want me to take a rest?” Dick eyes burned into him as he spoke. “I’ll take a rest once I know what that psychotic old man did.” 

Bruce knows Dick well enough to read between the lines of what his son is saying. He’s angry at Ra’s, yes, but Dick’s angry at himself too. He’s probably wondering why Damian never felt comfortable enough to mention such a big part of himself to them. 

“And we’ll make sure Damian knows that whatever Ra’s said or did was wrong, but you look exhausted right now. At least let me bring a chair over here for you to sit in.” Bruce calmly states to his eldest son. 

It looks like his words haven’t calmed Dick in the slightest, but before he can speak up again a chair is being pulled up next to Dick by Jason. “Jesus Christ Dick, just sit down already. And that’s me agreeing with B on something so you should know that it's not just the old man saying some b.s.” 

It doesn’t take much for Jason to force Dick to take a seat; one hard shoulder shove and he was collapsing into the chair. After which Jason pulls his own chair up next to him. “I’m gonna need you to put an end to this little pity party in the corner, Dickiebird.” 

“I’m allowed to be upset, Jason. We just found out that our brother is dead, and I should have been able to do something. 

“You think I don’t get that? The only difference between us right now though is that I was there; I could have done something to save the kid if I had known.” 

“Jaylad-” 

“No Bruce, if Dick here wants to blame himself for not doing something then he can blame me too.” Jason gives Dick an annoyed look then turns his head towards Bruce, “You’re free to get out of here old man. Can’t believe I’m the one that’s gotta talk some sense into Dick here.” 

He really doesn’t want to leave this conversation where it’s currently at, but when Dick gives him a nod he knows that he should withdraw. Bruce does make a mental note to ask about how the discussion went later; for now though he’ll do as they want.

So for now he moves on to check on his final son, Duke, before doing so though Bruce stops by his office once more for a moment to just sit and think. Once there it doesn’t take long before he is reaching into the bottom drawer where he keeps a bottle of whiskey hidden away. When he doesn’t feel it though Bruce knows that Alfred must have taken it. 

Of course Alfred knew he had it; that man knows everything that goes on here. 

It’s for the best that it’s gone anyhow he doesn’t need to be repeating past habits from when he lost Jason. That’s the last thing this family needs right now; not when there are still so many questions that need answers. 

In the end it’s Duke who seeks him out first. A mere 10 minutes goes by where Bruce is sitting in silence before a few light knocks echo against the walls around him. After announcing that the person knocking entrance Duke almost hesitantly approaches him. His habit of always tapping his fingers on whatever he was holding a dead give away for how nervous his son must be feeling right now. 

“Hey B,” Duke started, “everyone seems to be going through it right now huh?”

“It would appear so. What about you chum? How are you doing with all this?”

“I’m … not fine, but I know that that’s ok; I don’t think anyone wouldn’t be somewhat affected by the recent news. I actually wanted to talk to you about something else though if that’s ok.” 

Bruce takes a quick steady breath preparing himself for whatever this conversation may bring. “Of course, what did you want to talk about?”

“About what’s going to happen afterwards; when we find out the truth from Damian. Because- If Danyal is … dead then I think asking Damian about who Danyal was as a person, and setting up a memorial of sorts might help everyone with their grief.” 

“That,” his throat feels tight, “that sounds like a wonderful idea, Duke. I’m sure Damian- everyone would appreciate having a setup for Danyal in the manor.” 

Duke seems satisfied with his answer, and with a small smile makes his way out of the office. Before he leaves though he says one last thing, “I’d also make time to call Cass and Steph to give them an update on this before they get home.” 

After that the silence once more takes control of the room while Bruce thinks about the what if’s and the could have been. 

He’s not sure what the future holds for them now, but Bruce does know that whatever comes they’ll deal with it; together. That means he can’t keep sitting here in sorrow; he can’t fall apart again. 

“It’s time to get to work,” is his last thought as he leaves to make his way back to the cave. 

-

The rest of the day seems to go by in a blur, and not in a good way. Damian spits fire anytime anyone steps into his room. He has only willingly allowed Alfred inside to deliver food to him, and even that was met with cautious anger. 

At the very least Damian isn’t trying to escape; some piece of evidence they showed him must have convinced him that what they were saying was the truth. That conclusion is a double edge sword though as now Damian for sure knows that Danyal is gone. Why else would his brother not be here?

Red Hood and Red Robin are the only ones that go on patrol when the time comes. Dick refuses to leave his station at the med bay door knowing that Damian could be transferring back to himself any time now, and Bruce doesn’t want to leave him by himself if that does happen tonight. The two don’t talk much while alone in the cave, but Dick does allow Bruce to momentarily take his place at the door while he takes a moment to refresh himself. 

While it doesn’t actually happen that night the family is definitely in for a surprise when they check in on Damian the next morning, and find the now normal 14 year old boy asleep on the bed. 

Everyone had to hold Dick back so that he wouldn’t wake him up, and in the end it was Alfred who finally managed to convince him to let Damian rest without interruptions. Unfortunately for the sleeping child though this only gives the rest of the family more time to think about what they’re going to ask, and heaven knows he already has a lot to answer for.

-

Damian feels himself slowly waking; his body feels stiff and slow when he attempts to sit up, but otherwise fine. He knows he must be in the med bay since the last thing he remembers was being on patrol with Nightwing and encountering a blinding light. 

When enough of his strength finally returns to him he cracks his eyes open to see his father and brothers all looking at him with varying degrees of concern. Whatever happened must have been a lot bigger than he had originally thought if they are all here with him.  

Slowly he rubs a hand across his face and groans out to everyone in the room, “What happened?” 

No one says anything for a few beats. In fact they all seem to avoid meeting his eyes entirely. Eventually though his father clears his throat before speaking in a voice far too soft and gentle, “Well chum, you got hit with a spell while on patrol. It- It reverted you back to your 6 year old self.”

Oh. 

Oh no. 

That was probably the worst thing he could have been told right now as Damian thinks back to what he was like at that age; to who had been by his side since birth. There is absolutely no way that his long gone other half wasn’t mentioned, or brought up in however long he was in his younger state. 

“I’m frankly surprised to see you all still standing. I was very dedicated to the league at that age.” He’s not going to admit to anything just in case he is wrong though. Danyal is not someone who Damian is ready to speak about. His twin, his brother, and his biggest regret; he’ll never forgive himself for being so brainwashed by Ra’s that he allowed Danyal’s death that day. That he was prepared to do it himself because the older man said it was for the best. 

“You did manage to break Jason's nose!” Duke lightly chuckles as the mentioned man throws a glare, but otherwise remains silent. Followed by more deafening silence from everyone else. 

Dick is the one that finally brings up the elephant in the room, “Dami … who’s Danyal?”

Why did he have to be right about them knowing? Ready or not it seems the truth about Danyal was coming to light it seems. “Danyal was my twin; the other half- the better half of me. I understand that now.”

His eldest brother gently grabs his hand, and holds it in a firm embrace of comfort. He’ll allow it for now. “And what happened to him?” 

Damian can’t keep his past hidden anymore, and Danyal deserves to have his story told. “When we were 10 Gran- Ra’s took Danyal and I away from our studies early one afternoon. He said that he had a couple lessons of his own that he wanted to teach us personally.” 

For one it was a life lesson, and for the other a death sentence. 

… 4 years ago …

“Damian, Danyal, come. You two are about to learn what it truly means to be an Al Ghul.”

[marvelousels]

HOOKED ON YOU.

authors note — once again was listening to doja cat but this time the song was tia tamera YESSIRR sorry but that song is so iconic and gives this confident feeling to listeners. so here we are, it may not fit exactly but meh! i might write with this song except its jinx this time? omd jinx is so this song core OKAY NOW I'LL STOP YAPPING.

pairings: vi x fem!reader 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

Tia Tamera — doja cat playing!

The club was alive with the electric pulse of music, the bass vibrating through your chest as you leaned against the bar. Lights flashed in rhythmic bursts, painting the crowd in neon colors. Your drink sat untouched beside you, condensation pooling around the base of the glass. You weren’t here for the drinks or the music, though—you were here for her.

Vi was in her element, moving through the crowd with a natural charisma that left heads turning in her wake. Her cropped pink hair caught the strobe lights, and the signature cocky smirk tugged at her lips as she danced. She was magnetic, a force of nature, and watching her felt like being caught in a storm you didn’t want to escape.

You didn’t even realize you were staring until her eyes locked onto yours across the room. A playful challenge sparked in her gaze, and before you could look away, she was weaving through the bodies, heading straight for you.

“Hey, stranger,” she said, her voice just loud enough to cut through the music. She leaned against the bar beside you, her arm brushing yours. “You’ve been watching me all night. What’s the verdict?”

Heat rose to your cheeks, but you refused to let her fluster you. “You’re not bad,” you replied, keeping your tone light. “For someone who’s clearly showing off.”

She laughed, the sound low and warm, and it sent a shiver down your spine. “Can you blame me?” she teased. “Hard not to, when I’ve got you as my audience.”

You rolled your eyes but couldn’t suppress a smile. Vi always had a way of making you feel like you were the only person in the room, even in a place as chaotic as this. She reached for your drink, taking a sip without asking, and you raised an eyebrow.

“Bold of you,” you remarked.

“That’s me,” she said with a wink. “Besides, I’ve got something to celebrate tonight.”

“Oh? And what’s that?”

She straightened, her grin widening. “Us,” she said simply. “You and me. We… we just work. I’ve got the edge; you’ve got the spark. Together? Unstoppable.”

You blinked, caught off guard by her words. “Are you saying we’re some kind of dynamic duo?” you asked, amused.

“I’m saying we’ve got chemistry,” she replied, leaning closer. Her voice dropped, softer now. “You’ve felt it, haven’t you? The way we just… click?”

Her words hung in the air, and your heart raced under the weight of her gaze. She wasn’t teasing anymore; there was something raw and unguarded in her expression. You searched her face, and for once, there was no smirk, no bravado. Just Vi, honest and vulnerable, laying herself bare.

“Vi,” you began, your voice almost lost in the music. “I…”

She cut you off with a grin, her confidence creeping back in. “Don’t overthink it, okay?” she said. “Just dance with me.”

Before you could protest, she grabbed your hand and pulled you onto the dance floor. The crowd swallowed you both, the music pounding around you, but all you could focus on was her. The way her hands found your waist, the way her body moved against yours, the way her eyes never left yours—it was intoxicating.

“You know,” she murmured as her lips brushed your ear, “I’ve never met anyone like you. You’ve got this energy… it’s got me hooked.”

Your breath hitched, her words sending a thrill through you. “Hooked, huh?” you managed, your hands resting on her shoulders. “Is that your way of saying you’re obsessed?”

She chuckled, her voice low and sultry. “Maybe I am,” she admitted, her hands tightening slightly on your hips. “But you’re not making it easy to play it cool.”

You smirked, leaning closer until your faces were inches apart. “Who said I wanted you to play it cool?”

Her eyes darkened, her gaze flickering to your lips. The air between you crackled with tension, and for a moment, the rest of the world seemed to fade away. The music, the crowd, the flashing lights—none of it mattered. There was only her.

“You’re dangerous,” she murmured, her voice barely audible over the pounding bass. “You know that, right?”

“Takes one to know one,” you shot back, your voice equally soft.

Her lips curved into a slow, wicked smile. “You’re gonna be trouble for me, aren’t you?”

“Guess you’ll have to stick around to find out,” you replied, tilting your head slightly in challenge.

Vi didn’t answer right away. Instead, she closed the remaining distance between you, her lips brushing yours in a kiss that was equal parts soft and electrifying. It was the kind of kiss that left you breathless, that made your head spin and your heart race.

When she finally pulled back, her forehead rested against yours, and her smirk was back in full force. “Yeah,” she said, her voice husky. “Definitely trouble. But I think I can handle it.”

And as you stood there, wrapped up in her, you couldn’t help but think that maybe she was right. Maybe together, you really could handle anything.

[hotwings0203]

"I swear, if she had just stayed with the group like a normal person would, she would've saved herself at least 30 more minutes of screentime," your friend says on the other side of the couch.

In retaliation, you playfully chuck a few kernels of popcorn at him and gesture wildly at the screen. "It's the classic bimbo trope! She's wearing a miniskirt and high heels in the forest for gods sake, it practically screams 'Murder me!' on her clothes."

You both squabble for a few minutes like this until the sound of violins coming from the t.v. cues you in for the next foreboding jumpscare. Both sets of eyes turn back to the dimly lit screen and lock in on the gore-fest about to unfold.

The main heroine cautiously creaks a door open in front of a tunnel and warbles out, "H-hello? Is anyone there?"

It's so cliche you could roll your eyes, but yet your heart is still pumping...

And your "friend's" body shifting a mere few inches away from you isn't helping the palpitations.

The two of you had been dancing around each other the past few months in some sort of premature courting method, the flirty remarks and jeers from your mutual friends egging you both on to seal the deal and admit your feelings for one another.

But, like every young romance blooms, the fear of wilt is just as strong.

And so you opt to get as close as you can to the real thing by being satisfied with his arm not-so-subtly thrown over the back of the couch , so softly playing with the ends of your hair so as to not disturb you.

You can barely focus though, as the girl on the screen inches closer to the end of tunnel, the boy behind you also creeps his other idle hand towards yours resting on the cushion.

It takes an incredible amount of effort to keep your breathing even and hands still as you watch from the corner of your eye as his veiny hands trail closer...his fingers outstretching towards yours...and...

Rrrriiinnngggg!

It's like a tidal wave comes crashing down as the woman on screen screams in tandem with your phone ringing.

You feign a groan as you shoot the disappointed man on your couch an apologetic wince, and try not to let your heart fall as he nods back with a barely understanding grimace. You round the couch and let the movie continue playing as you hit the green button and pick up the intruding call.

"Hello?" You snipe.

"Get rid of him."

For the second time in the night, your heart falters, but the former experience is something you'd beg for rather than this.

"H-how did you know someone's at my house?" Your voice drops to a shaky whisper and you throw a panicked glance into the living room to ensure that your lover/friend hasn't picked up on your tone. You duck into your bedroom and close the door slightly, your hands trembling as you do so.

The gravely voice on the other end chuckles, but the sound has anything but mirth in it.

"That's a funny way to phrase it sweetheart. Your question makes it seem as though I stopped keeping tabs on you."

A minute-long silence ensues after that, your mouth gaping open and closed like a fish out of water. There's no sound except for the low hum in the background of your living room, and your caller's shallow breaths on the other end of the line.

"You begged so nicely last time for me to leave you alone, even made it to the cops at one point. I granted you a shred of mercy, a bit of pity after the cops failed to take your report seriously- I mean, I don't blame them. Their time is precious, y'know? They've got bigger things to worry about than a dumb little girl whining about some invisible stalker jizzing all over her and her room when she sleeps," he snickers meanly at the sound of your choked gasps.

The taunting of your trauma is a slap to the face, a wound cut open again. You thought you got rid of this anonymous stalker a couple months back, you thought a police report and growing reclusive from your social life would dissuade any unwanted interactions from this psycho. You felt backed into a corner, dirty and ashamed as the threatening calls became more frequent. Love letters with ominous fluids coating the expanse of the papers started showing up at your front door when you changed your number. He'd attach polaroids of you in your undergarments, when you'd shower, when you'd cook, and so many other unassuming intimate domestic scenes in the envelope, and then when you couldn't take the terror anymore...it stopped.

The calls, the letters, the pictures, all of it...poof.

You had slowly started to hope that he had gotten bored of you and the lack of social life, lack of thrill in general at you losing your color.

With that hope, came bravery. Your friends started coming around again, the parties ensued, you switched your college class from virtual to in-person again, you even met the guy nestled comfortably on your couch currently.

"How many bodies did you think you could hide behind?"

The voice on the other end of the phone croons softly, but pulls you just as violently out of your dread.

"What do you want?" comes your shaky whisper, your fingers gripping the phone tighter in sync with your throat closing up.

"Ohhh sweetheart, now that's a loaded question. You and I have all the time in the world to uncover that, but your boy toy on the other hand..." His teasing lilt twists lower into something akin to a growl, and you can't help the whimper that escapes you.

You don't want to find out what his threat alludes to, or how serious he is.

Slow-burn romance be damned.

"J-just give me a few minutes-"

"Now."

Your teeth sink into your lips to hold back a frantic curse as you duck your head out the doorway to check on the living room.

He's still there, unassumingly checking his phone.

"Okay, okay. I-I'll tell him something came up, just dont-"

Your voice catches in your throat and you force yourself to swallow, taking in a deep breath at the sound of your stalker's pleased hum on the other end of the line.

"I'm watching you. Don't try to pull anything smart with me, unless you're eager to taste my blade in addition to my cock."

You blanch as the call ends, and try to quickly blink away tears of frustration. Wiping your sweaty palms on your shorts, you inhale deeply again before turning the knob and opening the door to the living room.

Rounding the couch, you softly pad your way to your lover and force the tense muscles in your back and arms to loosen, not wanting to give any indication that something's very, very wrong.

"Heyyy, you're back!" He drawls with a loose smile on his face. "Thought the movie scared you too bad and you ran off."

You force yourself to let out a faux chuckle and try to prevent your smile from looking too strained. He seems to unfortunately notice it though, because a crinkle appears between his brows and he sits up, tossing the phone in his hands aside.

"Woah, you okay? Did something happen?"

"No, no! It's nothing like that at all. Actually, this is really embarrassing but one of my girls called and I think she's blackout drunk at the bar near downtown, I gotta head out and pick her up. I had no idea I'd be on babysitter duty tonight, I'm so sorry," You frantically wave his concern off and try for another carefree laugh, but your shaking hands are a dead giveaway.

He stands up and grasps your hands tightly in his, the large and smooth planes of his palms enveloping yours before you can react. Your head spins as the realization of him touching you for the first time under these less-than-ideal conditions overwhelms you.

"Hey, y/n, look at me-no, look- you're okay, alright? It's no big deal, we can always finish the movie another time, seriously."

And before you can move back to save him, he leans forwards and pecks your cheek.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The second the door closes shut, your phone rings.

Your hand, still on the door handle, drifts up to your lips as you nibble on your nails haphazardly.

You're terrified to know the consequences you elicited. You don't wanna pick up.

And yet, you know if you don't, he's capable of so much worse.

Your thumb slides on the green button when his voice breaks through the call with barely-concealed rage, the waver of fury coating his venom as he spits, "He touched you. He kissed you."

"I tried to back away! I tried to-"

"And I tried playing nice, but looks like we both failed each other, huh?"

The excuse dies in your throat as his hiss overpowers yours.

"I should carve his fucking lips out for touching whats mine," he continues after a beat, an incredulous and ragged laugh erupting from the other end of the call, making you wince.

"It would be so easy to get rid of him too. That shitty little apartment he scrimps and saves for at his 9-5 hasn't changed the locks in the complex for years now, he walks solely at night with his earbuds in, his bones would be so easy to break-"

"Please don't hurt him," you finally break his monologue with a sob of your own, unable to fathom being the reason why your lover would suffer such sinister endings. You throw your hand over your mouth to prevent him from hearing you cry and your legs give out from their mindless, panicked pacing around the house. The soft duvet comforters of your bed provide ample cushion for the fall, but not enough to swallow you whole and hide you from his inevitable wrath.

Your stalker pauses as he listens to your muffled cries, your skin prickling as he lets out a ragged moan at no doubt your misery. You can hear the sound of rustling clothes and a belt buckle hitting a floor of some sort.

"Are you scared pretty girl? Are you scared I'm gonna hurt you, or him?"

"Yes," you breathe.

"You should be."

The call drops, but you dont move for what seems like hours.

Your body feels like stone as you eventually burrow under your covers, mountains of stress weighing you down heavier than the blankets and pillows you use as meager protection. All the doors in your apartment are locked, the windows bolted shut, the knives taken out and placed under your bed, and your phone fully charged.

And yet, you might as well have been naked for the lack of protection you feel as the clock strikes past 1am. You jump every time the branches outside your windows smack the glass, and grip the edges of your covers tighter at the slightest creak from your aged abode.

You're curled in fetal position, tense and alert, ready to call 911 at a moments notice. You wont, you can't let him get to you, mentally or physically.

But eventually your body fails you as you drift off to sleep, the adrenaline high wearing off and lulling you into an exhausted state of rest.

You only awaken when you hear his voice.

"Hereeee kitty kitty"

Body locking up before your mind is fully aware, you freeze under the duvet as you see his silhouette from under the opaque material.

He's merely a few feet away from you, leering over your lumpy form.

Your eyes dart to where your door is, and you can make out the shape of it being opened.

How the ever-loving fuck did he get in?

You can't move, you cant blink, you cant even breathe as he inches closer to you, settling to perch by your feet.

He chuckles and snakes his lithe fingers from underneath your comforters, trailing up your feet up to your ankle, letting his offensive touch rest there as a faux show of affection.

"You're like a present underneath those blankets."

You let out a shaky whimper and tense up even more as he leans in, the dark shape of his head right over your face.

"Does the little slut want me to unwrap her? I think i've won my prize fair and square."

The hand on your ankle moves up to your calves, then your knees, all the while you start to squirm and wrestle against his hold.

He laughs lightly with sick glee as his hold on you tightens, allowing himself to indulge momentarily as one of his hands shoves itself between the apex of your covered thighs, the other squeezing and pinching up your torso to any part of you that he deems soft enough.

You both writhe like this for a minute or two while you fight for air underneath the increasingly-stuffy covers, and you know he's reveling at your losing battle.

Eventually he must get tired of playing with you, because you feel the bed dip and shift as he climbs on top and straddles you. As a last-ditch attempt to free yourself, you throw the blankets off, exposing yourself to him. You try to scramble away after dislodging him, but he's too fast. He grabs you by the neck and slams you down against the bed with a snarl, his hair mussed and disheveled as his hands encircle tighter around your throat. Adrenaline courses through you along with the blood pounding your head as you try to scratch at his face. The harder you fight, the tighter he squeezes, and through the black spots in your vision you can see his salacious grin, his hair falling over his face and barely concealing the victorious and manic look in his eyes.

You feel his skin pile up under your fingernails as you rake down a particularly soft side of his cheek, but instead of him drawing back, he fucking moans as blood blooms through the new cut.

He feels you hesitate for a split second in your awed disgust, and uses the momentary reprieve to rock his hips against your clothed mound.

You gasp feels like its ripped out of you all the while he shakes with tension and laughter.

He feels high off the mix of fear and disgust at your body reacting to his ministrations.

You thrash like a fish out of water in his hold, your desperation a sick contrast to the firm and controlled motion of his body eliciting responses out of you that you never wanted to give to him of all people.

"Fuuckkkk, thats it baby, just give in," he croons and shushes the sound of you choking. A shudder passes through him as he feels your throat constrict under his unrelenting hold, and his eyes roll to the back of his head as he thrusts again into you.

He must hit a good spot, because he feels your legs twitch. To reward you for reacting to his touch, he lets up ever so slightly on your abused throat, and opts to duck his head down and replace his hands with his mouth.

The whole ordeal can't have been going on for more than a couple minutes, but it feels like your overstimulation has been lasting eons. You feel the adrenaline crashing down, your defenses rendered useless as he uses both his hands to envelope your own and lace his fingertips with yours, bringing both your intertwined hands up next to either side of your head. He locks your legs under his, ensuring that you can't wiggle out of his grasp, and lifts his head up slightly off your neck from the galaxy-covered hickies he left on the empty planes of your neck to look at you properly.

No makeup, bared open and vulnerable for him, hair looking like a rat's nest from the struggle, neck littered in violent splotches of blue, purple, and reds, lips bloated and shiny from tears trespassing down the planes of your face and down your chin. Your chest heaves as you try to catch your breath, he feels your body tremble as you fight off the waves of exhaustion threatening to capsize your efforts. Your eyes, teary and bloodshot, ensnare him most of all. He feels as out of breath as you as he gazes lovingly, sickeningly down at you with unread emotions.

Love, hate, defiance, disgust, fear.

To him, you look ethereal.

"Why do you make me do this to you?" he whispers, pulling one hand out of your own to gently move strands of hair out of your face to see you better. He bites back a frustrated growl as you flinch and turn your head to the side, burrowing as much of your face into the pillow as you can. You don't want to see or hear him gloat, you just want him to take what he came here for and to leave you the fuck alone.

"Stop fucking-no, look at me," the hand that ever-so gently caressed your hair hardens as his entire hand grabs the lower half of your face to face him.

You try to mumble something out, but his invading hand covers your mouth. He doesn't seem keen on moving it or hearing what you have to say from the way he merely presses harder against your ajar lips.

"I can fulfill you better than that wimpy fuck could ever dream," he hisses, leering over you. Your muted scowl doesn't phase him as he continues, "And you don't need friends anyways. I'm enough for you. I'll take care of all your needs, financially, emotionally, and physically."

At this, he presses his hips right into your cunt, and holds his body there, groaning at the way you pulse for him even under the layers of clothing.

You squeal and try to squirm, but your displeasure proved moot as he uses a free hand to slither under the waistband of your short and dip lower.

This brings around another round of muffled screaming, your back arching as his fingers dance over your soft mound, finally claiming his prize and swiping his digits through your lips.

He makes sure you watch as he brings his fingers back up to his mouth and licks them clean, moaning and closing his eyes in bliss as he does so. Your horror is practically palpable as you freeze at the bizarre show, the violation leaving you speechless.

"You should have told me you were enjoying this, you fuckin' brat," he scoffs and wipes his spit-covered fingers across your cheek, chuckling as you scream in rage.

"Had I known you wanted to play rough like this from the start I would've fucked you raw in front of all your little friends."

He leans in, savoring your terror.

"After all, all a brat like you needs is a fat, hard cock stuffing her widdle pussy until she breaks."

He uses your frozen state to flip your entire body over with one hand, immediately closing in on you and covering your prone body with his own. One hand braces dangerously close next to your face to balance himself as he uses the other to grab a fistful of your locks and pull back, craning your head to meet his eyes once again.

Your back and stomach shake with the effort of holding yourself up in this painful and awkward position, and his hips slot themselves against your backside as if it was their rightful place.

He's not lying, you realize with dread as you can feel his thick and hard imprint nestle between your asscheeks, your shorts riding up in the process.

"But don't worry," he pants as he pulls aside your shorts and panties and begins thrusting himself up and down your wet slit, all the way up to your ass, making careful sure to tap his tip against your clit a couple times, making you jerk and whimper at the buzzing sensation.

"I'm not letting you go anytime soon. We have the rest of our lives to break you and put your pieces back together," he bites your earlobe as he hisses the promise, moaning loudly in your ear as he lets his tip indulge in your entrance, barely pulling back and pushing in inch by inch.

You wince and try to move your body forwards to escape the inevitable, but he twists your supporting arm behind your back painfully and lets your head fall back on the pillow in defeat with a hoarse sob.

"You're fucking mine."

[just-dreaming-marvel]

Love That Burns ~ Ending 2 ~ 55

LOVE THAT BURNS MASTERLIST

< previous chapter

Word Count: 1,950ish

Summary: Emotions rise and everything comes crashing down.

Notes: I couldn't help myself. Just had to get this chapter out before I went to sleep. Please share reactions! Please remember to review the timeline posted here.

Reminder: I DO NOT do taglists. Please don’t ask. Please follow and interact! I appreciate any reblogs, likes, comments, and asks!

For the next week and a half, Logan and you had lunch together every day, Wade visited you during every shift, and Laura had begun pulling away. Laura had been a pretty easy child to raise, it was only a matter of time before the moody teenage years set in. Though, you knew it was more than that. You had tried to talk to her only to be met with short answers or grunts. You couldn’t help but blame yourself for some of what she was going through.

You hadn’t had an incident with your powers since the moment with Logan, in which you were grateful for. Your hands were thoroughly scarred over, but you were learning to live with it. You were trying to work past your own issues, in which Logan and Wade had a great part in that, constantly keeping tabs on you and Laura. You were becoming quick friends with the two men and it felt nice to have friends again after all these years.

It was your regular lunch with Logan. You were in your kitchen while he was drinking a beer at the table.

“I got a job,” he suddenly stated.

“You did?” You asked. “Where?”

“The mechanic’s down the street. They’ll let me work in the back and have minimal interaction with the customers.”

“That will be good for you. You need to get out more. Maybe make some friends.”

“I don’t need friends.”

“Yes, you do.”

“Well then, what are you and Wade and Laura?”

“We’re your friends, but you need people outside of this craziness.”

“And do you have any?”

“I’m getting there at work.”

The apartment door opened and closed, signaling that Laura was home. You peeked out from the kitchen.

“Hey, kiddo!” You greeted. “Logan and I were getting ready for lunch. Do you want to join us?”

“Not hungry,” she muttered, heading straight for her bedroom and closing the door.

You sighed, shoulders sagging.

“Everything alright?” Logan asked.

“It’s fine,” you responded, getting back to preparing lunch. “She’s struggling but is keeping me at arms length… She gets that from her father.”

“Or you.”

“What?”

“You’re still struggling. But you’re just masking it better than you were before.”

“You’re one to talk. I can hear you at night. These walls aren’t very thin. Do you ever get any sleep?”

“I get enough.” He took a long swig of his beer.

You scoffed. “Whatever.”

~~~

Another few weeks past with a similar routine, with the addition of Wade and Logan stopping by for dinner when you weren’t working. Between you, Laura, and Logan, you were all going through a lot but avoiding most of it.  It was a night you weren’t working. Logan just got off and headed straight of your and Laura’s place. He had let himself in quietly, only to hear an argument between you and Laura.

“For the last time, Laura, you are not going to that party,” you were clearly exasperated. “I don’t think it will be safe.”

“You never let me do anything!” Laura spat.

“I’m just trying to do my duty and protect you.”

“You’re not my real mom! I don’t have to listen to a word you say!”

The pain those words caused was more heartbreaking than anything anyone had ever said over the last few years. Logan could tell that the words hit you deep, though you were trying to cover it up. He stepped between you and Laura with a protective fury, letting the both of you know that he had entered the apartment.

“You do not talk to her that way,” he was furious at how Laura was treating you. You were just trying to protect her.

“Why? It’s not like you’re my dad!”

Those words did little to rattle Logan. “I don’t care. Y/N raised you. Show her some respect.”

“Make me.”

You had no say in the chaos that quickly erupted in your apartment living room. The two had their claws out and were actively fighting each other. Too overwhelmed to stop it as your long pushed down anxieties bubbled up, you slipped out of the apartment, tears sliding down your cheeks.

“Hey, Buttercup!” Wade’s chipper voice echoed down the hall as he headed toward you. “What are you–” The moment he saw your tears he was down on the floor in front of you. “What’s wrong? Are you hurt?”

“Nothing,” you squeaked, shaking your head. “Everything is–” You were cut off by a guttural roar from inside your apartment. You squeezed your eyes shut as a sob tore through you. “She said I’m not her mother… she’s right… so why does it hurt so much?”

“Hey, no one makes my Buttercup cry. Not even Little Wolf.” Wade stood up straight. “Stay put. I’ll handle this.” Wade waltzed inside before you could stop him. “HEY!” Wade shouted once he was sure the door was shut. Logan and Laura stopped their fighting immediately. Wade took in the apartment, noticing how your decorations and furniture were destroyed by claws and blood. “Well, well, well. Way to ruin my day, Peanut and Little Wolf. I was on my way over to see what was for dinner when I found my precious Buttercup sobbing in the hallway.” Logan and Laura’s eyes widened as they finally realized that you were no longer in the apartment. “You two assholes need to work this out, clean this mess up, and apologize. Until that happens, my sweet buttercup will be staying with me and Blind Al.”

“But–”

“Sorry, Peanut, no room for arguments. You assholes deal with this and I’ll handle Y/N.”

Spinning on his heel, Wade opened the apartment door. “Okay, Buttercup, we’re–” Wade stopped himself as he took in the empty hall. “Buttercup? Y/N?”

Logan and Laura rushed to the doorway as Wade stepped out to get a better look. Without a second thought, Logan and Laura both sniffed, taking in your smokey scent.

“This way,” Logan huffed, leading the group down the hall.

The group headed down the stairs of the apartment complex. The scent led them outside, where it had begun to rain. Both Logan and Laura stopped, taking in deep breaths through their nostrils.

“She’s gone,” Laura’s voice wobbled. “My mom’s gone.” Guilt was seeping into her soul. She had caused this and the words she said, she didn’t even mean. You were her mother, blood or not. You had taken care of her when she had no one– when you had no one. And now you were gone. “It’s all my fault.”

Logan knew he should have been the better person, Laura was still only a kid, but right now he was too concerned for your wellbeing. “You’re fucking right this is your fault.” Though he knew those words weren’t completely true. Ignoring the rain, Logan headed down in the direction he could only hope you could have gone.

“Do you smell her?” Laura jogged after him.

“No. But she shouldn’t be out alone.”

“Yay!” Wade clapped. “An old fashioned search party!”

“No. You two can stay here.”

“Ah, come on! It can be so much–”

Laura tripped Wade as he tried to follow after Logan. Logan’s strides became longer as he kept his eyes scanning for any sign of you. It was dark and rainy. Though Logan knew first hand you could take care of yourself, he was still scared for your safety. You weren’t okay. You were carrying a lot of anxiety and sorrow that you had been forced to carry it all yourself for years, slowly wearing you down to the breaking point that came tonight. Just like Logan’s original you, you weren’t a runner. This was something heartbreakingly new.

Logan also had a inclining that you were struggling more than you let on with being back in your original timeline in 2024, where you knew that a younger version of you and your original Logan were living at the mansion together. The TVA had made it very clear that if you intervened, there would be severe consequences. In the beginning, Logan didn’t think you would, now he wasn’t so sure. Would you risk it all for just a glimpse or one last interaction? 

Logan wandered through the rainy city until dawn, with no sign of you anywhere. Deciding he needed to get Wade and Laura in on this, Logan headed back to the apartment complex. He went to your apartment first, hoping that you were in there. He wasn’t surprised to see that the mess was cleaned up and new decorations and furniture sat in place of the ones he and Laura had destroyed. Logan figured Wade had helped Laura. 

With a sigh, Logan left the apartment and headed to the one he shared with Wade and Althea. When he entered, he found Wade in his Deadpool suit, loading his golden guns.

“Well, look who returned just in time,” Wade commented.

“What’s going on?” Logan asked, noticing that Laura was there as well.

“You really need to keep your phone on you, Peanut.”

“Just tell me what the fuck is going on.”

“The TVA took my mom,” Laura stated.

Logan’s head snapped in her direction as his stomach dropped. “What? Why?”

“She apparently got too close to her original timeline self.”

“So, we’re gearing up for a daring rescue,” Wade explained, pulling his mask over his face. “You in, Prince Charming?”

~~~

It had all happened by accident. You didn’t mean to. You were wandering aimlessly through the rainy streets, just trying to clear your head and to stop the flames that threatened to engulf you. 

How were you supposed to remember that you and Logan had gone on a date in the city on this night? To you, it was a long time ago and a lot of traumatic life events have happened since. You didn’t even see your original Logan and your younger self before the TVA agents appeared and you were standing in the middle of the TVA offices, on the catwalk. B-15 was standing before you.

“I’m so sorry, Y/N,” she told you. You could see that she truly meant it. “You got too close to your younger timeline self and Logan.”

“I didn’t mean to,” you said, on the verge of tears once again. “I didn’t know– didn’t remember.”

“I know, but it was a part of the deal you made to return to that timeline. I have already informed Wade and Laura of the mishap. You will be sent back to The Void.”

“Please don’t do this!” You shook your head. “I can’t go back there. I can’t leave Laura alone!”

“I am so sorry, Y/N.”

Before you could fight, a TVA agent was behind you and used a time stick to send you back into The Void. You landed in the middle of an empty field. You were on your knees already, making it easier for you to bury your head in your hands and cry. It had all become too much. Losing your original Logan. Taking care of Laura. Your powers failing you. Being sent to The Void the first time. You hadn’t taken care of yourself mentally or emotionally, and it was finally taking its toll. 

You had finally reached the breaking point of it all and you were now alone, and back in The Void. You could feel flames form on your back and your skin heating up. Pain radiated through you but you didn’t care. You didn’t have any more fight in you. After years and years of fighting, you were done. Maybe if you just curled up here, Alioth would find you and end your suffering once and for all. 

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