#CAN U HEAR ME CRYINNNNNNNNNN

[dvddggs]

To the Four of Us (EPILOGUE)

Words: 2,569

Author’s note: It took me weeks (months?) to get this right. I got so attached to my TTFOU characters that I had to make sure they had the right sendoff. I ended up loving this story. I loved writing it, I loved reading your comments (don’t think for a second that I didn’t read EVERY SINGLE ONE of them. I did. And they ALL made me smile), and I love that you guys loved it so much. Seriously I can’t thank you all enough for letting me share this with you and for supporting me. I don’t wanna get long and sappy so I’ll leave it here. Also, I’m sorry for the wait, but I really hope you enjoy it now that it’s here!

Tags: @heythereitsloey @anitheunicorn @newyorkyoucanbeanew @lafbagxette @justafangirlwithanavy @iamgrayfox @ordinaryornate @schuylerjoon @georgewashingsin @trashyperson101 @crazydragon15 @but-if-you-had-to-choose @geespilots @marvelous-hamilfan @mynameisalexanderhammyham @panda-powers@lafeyettegunsandships @schokoobananaa @aphboi @hell-yes-puns-and-ships @aham-threw-his-shot-away @hesitantcat @nonstopspook@hamrevolution @alexander-did-you-know @spitaverse-burr@angelizaandpeggy @isis278 @idk-destiel @engulfedinstars@hamiltrashuniverse @ahrupe @just-me-an-asshole @readfizz@skeletonmelodies @gum-and-chips @iminwaytoomanyfandoms@hadleyelizabethuley @fictionalboyfriends @ridiculousn3ssfangirl@pleuxvoir @liallow @kanadianwithashippingproblem @bucket-of-kittens @welcometohamilton @forth-schuyler-sister @fanwaffles@ariadne1004 @inspacewmorty @marshmallow-satan @anbu1997@sinmineral @esmeraldablazingsky @fictonalboyfriends @i-am-forever–bored @imdiggingdaveed @skittle-geek

Now, without further adieu, the TTFOU epilogue!!

There's comfort in familiarity. That was why when they turned onto the familiar street with the familiar lampposts and the familiar trees John literally squealed with delight despite the snow which fell softly onto the windshield.

Alexander raised an eyebrow at his husband. Normally in the presence of snow, John would be at least a little grumpy.

"Whaddaya want, I'm excited! Can I live?"

Chuckling, Alexander turned his eyes back to the road and rubbed his eyes tiredly. He was excited too, though he had the ability to control it a bit better so as not to wake the sleeping figure in the backseat.

They were less than three minutes from his father, who he hadn't seen in months. Despite their best efforts to get back to his home state of Virginia, their lives were so hectic that they simply couldn't find the time. Not to mention the trek from South Carolina with a new baby had been rough at best.

"Y'know," Alexander said, catching John's eye in the rearview mirror. "You don't have to sit in the backseat with him every time we get in the car."

"He's more fun than you," John teased from beside the car seat. "All you do when you drive is stare at the road in silence."

"Only because I don't want him to wake up! You know how hard it is to get that boy to sleep!?"

John shrugged and looked down to his right. He had a valid point.

Alexander swung the new SUV gently into the driveway of the old house and parked behind the old car that his father refused to replace. Turning the car off, he turned in his seat to smile at his little family.

"Philip," John said softly, brushing the fluffs of hair on his son's tiny head. "Time to wake up, lil buddy. We're here."

"To meet your grandpa!" Alex chimed in.

He pocketed the key and opened the back door for John, who was unbuckling the car seat.

"I hate this thing," he murmured, giving up in favour of picking up Philip alone. "Why do they make them so difficult? We can come back for the carrier later. I can't do this anymore."

Laughing, Alexander offered a hand to John and hiked the diaper bag onto his shoulder.

"C'mon," he said. "My dad is probably quivering with excitement right now. After we fell asleep last night, I missed four calls from hi—"

He was cut off by the sound of the front door opening and his father jumping off the porch to greet them.

"ALEX!" George pulled his son into a tight hug, pulling the bag off his shoulder and plopping it on the ground in the process. "How was the drive? How are y'all? And how is my grandbaby!?"

"Tired." John pulled Philip away from his chest and smiled down at him. He knew this would probably be the last time he got to hold him for the entire summer because of his father-in-law.

Philip's sleepy gaze focused on John and he blinked as his little mouth opened in a yawn.

"Let's go inside," Alex prompted, picking up the bag again. "He's probably freezing."

George led the way into the house and sat down in the living room, arms outstretched. "Okay," he said. "Let me hold my boy!"

"I thought I was your boy," Alexander said as John laughed, gently handing Philip to George.

"Not anymore, kid," George deadpanned without taking his eyes off of Philip. He stared at him in stunned amazement, watching as Philip's wide, wondering eyes scanned his new surroundings.

Alexander was forced to play host and find drinks and snacks for everyone because George was too entranced with Philip to do anything else. They chatted easily about their new life with Philip for awhile until John curled up beside Alex in their usual spot in the couch and fell asleep.

"Is he okay?" George chuckled. "He's usually up later than both of us."

"We haven't gotten much sleep with the little man around." Alex held out a finger for Philip to grasp and wiggled it around in his hand. "Did you know babies suck at sleeping?"

George smiled. "No, I didn't actually. But I know you sucked at sleeping until you were nine. Why don't you guys go take a nap?"

"Are you sure? You'll be okay with Philip? I can set up his swing. If the worst comes to worst, just put him in there and he'll fall right asleep. There's an extra bottle in—"

"Alex. I'm fine! Philip and I have got this. Go. To. Sleep."

Alexander gently woke up John, who jumped up muttering incoherently about if Philip was alright and that, wow, it was already morning. Alex was willing to bet that John didn't even open his eyes as he led him upstairs to his old bed.

"Where's...Philip?" John muttered, his sentence interrupted with a yawn.

"Go to sleep, John."

Alexander pulled the blankets down and crawled after John into his bed where the two of them promptly fell asleep within seconds.

I look beside me and catch John's eye, crinkled and bright with happiness. We are alone in a room, waiting for the agent to return to her office. Today is the day. We are going home with our baby.

John is twisting the silver ring on his left hand anxiously. He is nervous that something is going to go wrong again.

I understand.

"It's going to be fine," I say, reassuring myself as much as John. She will be back at any moment. Any moment...

ALEXANDER HAMILTON

JOHN LAURENS-HAMILTON

Two signatures. A satisfied nod. Smiles. Laughter. Crying. We made it. He is ours...

The drive home. John insists on sitting in the back seat of the car with Philip, our son.

Our son.

John is still crying tears of joy. So am I. We talk to Philip on the drive, telling him about our home.

His home.

We are almost there. One more street, one more turn, one more minute...

"Where's Philip?"

John's question makes no sense. He's right beside him.

"Lex, where is Philip?"

I knit my eyebrows together in confusion and glance in the rearview mirror. The car seat is empty.

Suddenly, I'm frantic. Where did he go? Why is he gone?

"Alex, WHERE IS PHILIP?"

Alexander's eyes flung open as he wiped beads of sweat from his temple. John was hovering over him looking worried.

"Where's Philip?" John repeated, lips pressed softly to Alexander’s ear.

John’s arms were wrapped around his husband as he whispered through the darkness. Though Alexander’s heart was still pounding from his dream, he registered how at peace he was.

"Jesus fuck, John," Alexander breathed. "You damn near gave me a heart attack.

"Alexander!"

Alex rose an eyebrow questioningly.

"I told you to stop swearing with Philip around! He's slowly gonna catch on until the only words that come out of his mouth are—" John leaned in closer and dropped his voice to a whisper— "fuck, shit, and damn. Is that what you want? Huh?”

Alexander rolled his eyes, though he couldn't help but suppress a grin. "Jesus, Laurens, he’s four weeks old and an entire floor away. I think we're safe."

"Still..." John said dramatically. "Anyways, what time is it? I feel like we've been sleeping for—"

"Holy shit, three hours!" Alexander said, showing John his watch. "Three. Hours. Herc and Laf are probably here already."

“They’re gonna kill us." John bit back a yawn and pulled Alexander up. "Let's go."

Alex had been right—as soon as they left his room they could hear familiar, muffled voices from below them.

John's face lit up at the sound of his best friend. He pulled Alexander after him quickly enough that they almost fell down the stairs.

Hercules and Lafayette had just gotten back from spending a year with Laf's family in France so they hadn't all been together for ages, aside from the occasional video chat. John was at the point where he mentioned how much he missed Laf almost every day. They were planning on spending the rest of the summer at George's house, just like they all used to during university. There were a couple of small differences these days, however; namely Philip and Marie, Herc and Laf's five year old daughter.

The muffled speech stopped when they heard footsteps on the stairs, and when Alex and John got into the living room, all hell seemed to break loose. Lafayette's voice emerged victorious when he yelled, "JOHN!" in a bloodcurdling squeal and John sprinted across the room, falling into his arms a teary-eyed mess.

"Never leave me again, bitch" John muttered into Lafayette's chest. "I had no one to complain to about Lex for fourteen months, Laf. It was hell."

Alex smacked his husband on the shoulder before pulling his old roommate into a tight hug.

"How was France, Herc? We missed you guys so much.”

Hercules grinned, stepping back from Alex so they could watch Laf engage in tradition—planting a wet, sloppy kiss on John’s lips, much to his dismay. "I'm pretty sure Marie and Laf are conspiring against me because they only ever converse in French anymore. But aside from that, it was incredible. I wasn't sure Laf was going to let us leave, to be honest."

"Uncle John?" said a small, clear voice from below.

"Hey, Marie," John smiled, kneeling down and taking the little girl's hands. "How are you doing?"

“What does that word that you said mean?" she asked innocently.

“What word, my love?”

“Bitch.”

Alex snorted into his hand and doubled over laughing as John's face drained of colour and Lafayette stared at him furiously.

"John Laurens-Hamilton. We have been home for one day. One. Day. Thank you very much, my friend." Laf bent down to address his daughter. "That's an adult word, my Marie. It's unnecessary to say, so we don't say it. Uncle John said a bad word, understand?"

"Oui, Papa. Il est un mauvais oncle."

It was Lafayette's turn to stifle his laughter.

"Anyways," Alexander insisted, ignoring John's glare at Laf. "How was the drive? Sorry we slept through you guys getting here."

Hercules shrugged. "Our flight landed yesterday morning, so we spent the night at home then left earlier today. We would have been here sooner if this one hadn't bought Marie a large coke at the gas station. We were stopping for pee breaks every twenty minutes."

Laughing, Alexander returned to his spot on the couch and took Philip back from his father, who looked like he hadn't moved since they went to bed.

Marie wandered over and tapped Alexander on the knee.

"May I hold baby Philip?"

"Oui," Alexander grinned, patting the empty spot next to him. She scrambled up—with Herc's help—and outstretched her arms, looking comically similar to how George looked earlier. When Alexander positioned Philip on Marie's lap, her entire face lit up as he looked at her with wide eyes.

"He's beautiful, Alex," Laf said as he joined Marie on the couch, gently brushing a finger along Philip's nose.

"Can we keep him, daddy? I want a baby brother," Marie said to Hercules, whose eyes grew wide.

"I—uh—I think it's going to be a few years before we look at getting you a baby brother, okay, honey?"

Marie stuck out her bottom lip and nodded, leaning down to kiss Philip's forehead.

"I'm going to go play now. You can have your baby back, Uncle Lex."

"No, no, no," Laf said, wiggling a finger at his daughter. "It's my turn! This is the first time he’s been away from George since we got here.”

“Since we got here,” John corrected, taking a seat on the floor next to Marie.

Laf picked up Philip and cooed incoherently at the poor child, who Alex could tell just wanted to sleep. Today was Philip's first day around people other than he and John, and though Alexander hid it well, he was feeling anxious about everything.

"Hey, Laf?" Alexander said quietly.

Laf raised his eyebrows, barely looking away from Philip.

"When did you feel like you knew what the hell you were doing with Marie?"

Lafayette chuckled, turning his full attention to Alexander.

"Let me tell you a secret, my friend," he said. "You literally never will. We're still making things up as we go. Like, when we went to France, we had no idea if that would be best for her. I mean, it was—we ended up loving it—but still. You never, ever know. You just do what feels right until they grow up and start making their own screwed up decisions. Like, for example...going to college and getting in the middle of a revenge fuck-fest with your boyfriend-and-eventual-husband."

Alexander laughed at the jab. The best part about Hercules and Lafayette was that no matter how long they went without talking or seeing one another, when they reconnected it was as if no time passed at all.

“John,” George said, standing up. “Do you want to help me bring out snacks and drinks?”

John nodded and followed George into the kitchen. Leaning against the counter, he looked down at the familiar linoleum floor and smiled.

“Hey, George?”

Humming in response, George continued to dig through a cupboard in search of a bag of chips.

“Thank you. For everything.”

At this, George stopped and turned to look at his son-in-law.

“It’s no trouble, John, really. You know you guys are always welcome h—”

“No,” John interjected. “I mean, thank you for everything. I mean, the people in this house are the only family I have—especially you. I seriously doubt I would have made it through college without you, and I’ve never told you that. So just…thank you.”

You know those really good hugs? The ones that are warm and strong and make you feel like crying because you feel so loved and so safe? Those were the types of hugs George gave. He held on until John’s breath hitched in his throat and he had to cough to stop himself from tearing up.

John cleared his throat gruffly and opened a cupboard.

“What do you have to drink?”

“Here.” George handed John a bowl of chips. “Bring these out. I’ll grab drinks.”

John put the bowl on the coffee table and sat next to Alexander, who was squished between Laf and Herc, laughing about something on the couch. Philip was laying on his play mat and Marie had pulled out a box of weathered, old Lego from Alex’s childhood.

A few minutes later, George emerged with two mugs in his left hand and three in his right.

“I made hot chocolate,” he said. “Extra marshmallows for Marie.”

“Just what she needs,” Hercules groaned, though Laf was smiling.

As soon as George set the drinks down on the table, everyone reached for their respective mugs.

Alexander caught John’s eye and grinned in the direction of his father, who had sat down on the floor to pick up his grandson and make funny faces to dazzle him.

John leaned in close and pressed his lips to his husband’s ear. “I love you so much, Lex.”

Wordlessly, Alexander slipped his hand into John’s and laced their fingers together, squeezing his palm.

He didn’t have to say anything.