#CAN I JUST SAY THIS TRULY DID COME OUT SO AUGH. CHEFS KISS!!!!!!!! | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

birriabirria · 3 years ago

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idolatry: brokat idol & manager, halkat fan & idol au

PLEASE HEAD THE WARNINGS! CW: underage, obsession, gaslighting, grooming, emotional & sexual abuse, drug abuse, victim blaming, murder

note: this is fucking LONG as in so long, that there’s worldbuilding before i get to the halkat part addition: IT’S 9.2K WORDS???

okay so karkat is young and insecure so of course he’d look up to mr strider! mr strider picked *him* rather than another audtionee see? mr strider saw something special in him and karkat will never let him down. and bro cares for karkat. why wouldn’t he? the one that he took from the rubble and polished to a shine, his own starlight

(and if i go with the troll & human society thing, karkat only has his lusus so… bro is basically the only adult in karkat’s life that he trusts so it’s basically stacked against karkat from the start)

and fuck, karkat would be such an anxious mess. he’s always thinking about the label’s expectations, his standards for himself and mr strider expectation. they’re all balled up in his chest and karkat can’t deal with it

and bro’s there to comfort him, of course he is. oh, starlight, working so hard for me. you’re so good, so precious. come here and i’ll make you feel better. bro’s just comforting his ward, what’s wrong with that? where’s the harm in that? and karkat feels so enamored with bro and is such a hopeless romantic that he might actually take everything happening as bro wanting him back. karkat is young and misguided so… bro’s not hurting him physically so why would he think that bro is hurting him? friend: Karkat passing out at from exhaustion friend: And bro just keeps pushing and pushing. bro smoothly backtracks and tells him that oh, you look so tired and sick, come lie down with me. i’ll take care of you, haven’t i alway taken good care of you? bro is a perfectionist and karkat is one of the people who can actually somewhat reach his standards and well, bro can’t let him go can he? friend: Bro does little things that get Karkat to physically react. friend: So if anything happens or if there’s tension he blames or makes Karkat feel like it’s his fault friend: If something is wrong it’s Karkat’s doing bro is always there to reassure him that it isn’t. did you really believe me when i said that it was your fault? it was just some coaching. come on now, don’t cry. i would never be mad at you. you work so hard and karkat can’t run to someone else! can’t find solace in someone else because bro has kept him away from other people and encouraged his rudeness. oh starlight, you can’t trust them. they’re just trying to confuse so you’d fail. why wouldn’t karkat believe him? mr strider isn’t gonna lie to him!! karkat grows up under bro’s thumb and that’s a fingerprint he can never erase. karkat is bro’s in a way no one has ever been. not even dave friend: Karkat does blow up though. He’s so successful, and that’s a testament to why he should trust Bro. friend: In interviews Karkat is always so grateful to Mr.Strider and people think it’s really cute at first and bro talks about karkat so warmly too. but never calls him by his name… friend: But there’s a couple articles that come out about Karkat’s regiment or about he ended up hospitalized due to exertion which Bro spins as Karkat having a minor health condition but friend: In reality it’s him. friend: And Karkat believes that he actually has a condition lmao? friend: He is blinded by bro so much he doesn’t realize it’s just him getting overworked and overwhelmed and bro would help him to get better and be so doting during it but it’s really such a cycle friend: drugging karkat friend: Under the guise of medicating his condition because sometimes karkat being a perfectionist works a bit too well and he’d want to practice even when sick? and course bro keeps karkat in his mansion to recuperate and not his apartment the whole time… bro finally goes fuck it and goes down on karkat… friend: Drugged up Karkat not understanding what his body is feeling and just grasping at bro because he always makes things better friend: Bro definitely frames it as doing it for Karkat because Karkat begged karkat is so tired and sleepy and bro is so warm and caring… they’re finally alone and karkat is finally getting that care and validation from bro that he has wanted so badly. karkat’s mind is fuzzy and he’s clingy and he’s so so so in love with bro that bro… just goes for it really. bro can sense weakness and he knows with that certainty that karkat is weak for him. karkat already wants him so why not… give him what he wants. never let it be said that bro isn’t gracious. it is SO BAD that karkat is stuck in a house all alone with bro!!! and i like to think that bro starts with innocent-seeming touches at first. mussing up karkat’s hair, a hand on karkat’s shoulder, holding his hand and sitting down next to him with an arm around karkat and it progresses. a touch on karkat’s face, a hand on karkat’s knee, leaning down and way too close. when bro kisses karkat on the forehead for the first time, karkat just lights up and bro actually does feel warm. but of course it doesn’t end there… and maybe bro isolating karkat has another reason for it. karkat is his so bro will never let anyone else get close enough to take him away. bro’s affection for karkat is part actual fondness, part looking out for an investment, part this dark possessiveness and part he’s my toy, no one else can have him and augh karkat is in such a huge mess!!!! friend: Mmmm a fan going overboard and stalking or trying to hurt Karkat and bro is there to the rescue friend: Which only fuels Karkat’s infatuation friend: Even though the fan was probably not that different to bro the only real difference between the fan and bro is that bro is in a position of power over karkat… the fan thinks karkat is small and cute and so helpless and that they’d take much better care of him than his manager of label!!! and sometimes… that’s how bro thinks of karkat too. yeah, bro pushes karkat but in those rare quiet moments, he does want to take care of karkat. and i guess bro is kinda stuck between pushing karkat even more and wanting to take care of him? back to drugged karkat… he’s sleepy and maybe even cries? and bro wipes away his ears and shushes him but his hands move lower and lower. he pushes the comforter aside and he unties karkat’s sweatpants and karkat doesn’t quite know what is going on. bro has his big, warm hands on karkat’s thighs and before karkat knows it, there’s fingers in then a mouth on his nook. karkat’s toes curl and he’s just making noises. oooooooh non-con somno!!!! karkat is already pretty sleepy so it doesn’t take long for him to fall asleep and bro is either already fucking him or desperately wants too… and doesn’t care? or is too far gone in chasing his pleasure that he goes through with it keeps going and when he finally finishes he picks karkat up and puts him in another bed and karkat is all confused that he’s in another room but bro brushes away the question. bro taking karkat through all the beds in the house because it keeps happening… bro taking karkat through all the beds in the house because it keeps happening… bro has to give karkat a sponge bath and he’s just itching to be all over karkat the whole time… aaaaaaa bro being on the last thread of his self control when karkat gets sick from overworking and now he has karkat all to himself in an empty house. and before bro has thought of it but he pushed it aside? because training karkat was more important but with how needier and starving for affection karkat becomes, bro keeps thinking more and more about it? and the last thread of bro’s control snaps when karkat is sick and all alone with him. like… bro groomed karkat to completely depend on him, you should only listen to me because i’m the only one who wants you to succeed then it’s are you feeling stressed? come lie with me, i’ll make you feel better then you shouldn’t believe what people say, i’m the only who truly cares about you? like… bro doesn’t think about bad touching karkat at first and when he thinks about it once, he brushes it aside but it slowly eats away at him until he finally does it? and there’s how bro thinks too? is he doing this to chase his pleasure or is he doing this chasing karkat’s pleasure? that obsessive fan not that different to bro is so fascinating! karkat as one of the very few people to wring out gentleness from bro but it ends terribly for him is [chef’s kiss] like… bro pushes karkat very hard but it’s tough love! he doesn’t mean to hurt him! he knows and believes that karkat can be the best so he just needs a little push! and oh shit, karkat’s sick from overwork and of course bro will take such good care of him. and see, karkat wants him and he is so needy and lonely and desperate for any scrap of affection that of course bro has to comfort him, he can’t leave karkat to cry! “he wanted me but i couldn’t break his heart by refusing him” is so fucking victim blaming that i’m just [chef’s kiss] the dichotomy of karkat as one of the people bro is gentle too while bringing out bro’s darker impulses… friend: Karkat never sees bro in a bad light friend: If there’s any tension or if he feels there’s something immoral happening, he always thinks it’s his own doing friend: Karkat thinks he’s the poison in Bro’s character because he thinks that he’s young and stupid and asking too much! to karkat, bro has never given him a reason to see him in a bad light. he’s so sweet! he’s so sweet! and karkat sees that he’s not like that with other people. a mr strider hates so many people but not me! thing friend: And bro does try that restraint at first friend: Even when Karkat is super exhausted, maybe a little drunk from an award ceremony (doesn’t mix well with his meds) and Karkat is crawling onto bro’s lap bro’s just sweating. he shouldn’t entertain the thought but he can’t push karkat away either… friend: I could see him at 21, the peak of his career but in arrested development because bro doesn’t really let him grow up, he keeps him so sheltered. And totally, bro doesn’t do anything but he does just let Karkat do whatever he wants in that state which might be Karkat just dry humping bro’s thigh through their tuxedoes or something. ooooh bro ushering karkat away from everyone else and while he doesn’t do anything, he is holding him and shushing him… friend: maybe he did kids shows before he debuted in music? friend: Music debut would be a little later when his voice changed friend: That’s when bro picks him up? Before Karkat was like a supporting character type of actor? friend:So maybe bro has subconsciously had his eye on Karkat for a while friend: By the time he makes his claim as his manager ooooooh maybe bro finds karkat because dave or rose watch the show he’s on? friend: They still audition, Karkat does get chosen but maybe when he steps into the room or bro is doing rounds to see who is trying to become an idol he recognizes Karkat from his small acting roles friend: Maybe because Rose and Dave do like the obscure shitty tween shows Karkat was on friend: Bro sees him and he’s like,,, oh he’s a diamond in the rough and karkat has always been an overachiever so while he’s grateful for whatever break he has, he’s not… very into those roles so of course when there’s an audition, he goes to it and maybe it’s not even the first audition he went to! and some people and in whatever shows karkat was in, they might’ve not taken him seriously so he’s feeling very dejected but still wants to try!

aaaaaaaa bro’s one of the people who’s taken him seriously! because a lot of people just consider him as some overly serious and overly ambitious kid! bro does actually like his seriousness and ambition! and i’m thinking about how if this a troll & human society and karkat isn’t thought of very nicely, being an idol is one of the things he can do? but unfortunately it leaves him very open to dehumanization and objectification. and some humans treat idols pretty terribly already so how do trolls treat their idols? and that difference might be another reason why karkat is left open for bro to abuse hm… i guess that depends on what “image” is popular for trolls? because karkat’s language might be the norm or even on the not that bad for trolls… like… karkat’s image could either be this “helpless mutant blood who sings about finding true love!” or “tough mutantblood who doesn’t need anyone but will soften up for the right person”. and when karkat is young it can “a mutantblood trying to find his way in the world!” and when he gets older its a hopeless romantic or rebellious teenager image but “mutantblood” is never too far and i think karkat being pop punk (a la avril lavigne?) when young would appeal to kids and teens, humans or trolls. or he’s seen as more “indie” because he’s not that popular? and… maybe because karkat acts very himself with yelling and swearing, that’s also another reason why he’s popular with the humans? some humans would be scandalizes by it but that image does sell very well! friend: Both friend: Older he’s seen as more indie friend: When he’s younger he seen as that pop punk troll and… while bro does coach karkat in how to act and what to say, the image that bro makes for karkat is as close to his self as possible to avoid discrepancies? and because so karkat doesn’t have to act so hard and for so long. and well, if people feel that karkat’s more “real”, they might like that more! karkat’s image as a teen as this rebellious pop punk singer when he doesn’t think of being disobedient to bro even once is rather sad irony imagine the documentary about karkat’s sudden rise to fame! karkat is too loud and too insistent and he seems so uncomfortable and his arms are crossed and he’s curled a little into himself and bro is always hovering nearby… and the editor of course tried their best but it still feels like something’s not right? and even oppressive… and there’s several montages of karkat in dance practice and the interviewer asks isn’t this the [x amount of] times you’ve been sick? and when the cameraperson tries to be there at house that karkat recuperates in, bro’s smoothly says that this is the only place karkat can have complete privacy so you can’t go there and the camera crew can only go there when they’re invited but only into the living room friend: bro is actually very good at protecting Karkat from the media friend: Which comes in handy later when he really doesn’t want what’s happening to be caught friend: But that editor does sell that footage ? friend: So there’s like gossip on television and online about how awful things are for Karkat? of course. being a celebrity brings him under the scrutiny of the tabloids and on the walls of the living room are photographs and articles of karkat and on the dresser against are all the awards karkat has won and bro tells the camera crew that he’s the one that cut them out and framed them. it’s obvious that bro is very proud of karkat and karkat actually smiles at that. and it’s cute that bro did that for karkat’s photos and articles but it’s also… rather obsessive and this house that bro keeps karkat in when he recuperates it filled to the brim of proof of karkat’s fame and success so when karkat’s awake and lucid enough to look around, he’s always reminded of how much he owes bro. there’s posters of himself on the walls, photobooks and tapes of his performances and concerts on the shelves… yeah, bro drugging karkat is really fucking bad but if karkat was awake and lucid, the house is fucking nauseating to stay in. the whole house is basically a fucking stalker’s dollhouse! friend: Ohhhh maybe there’s some more like…intimate or personal shots in Bro’s office which Karkat hasn’t gone into lucid in a long timeeeee friend: If he did he might question when bro managed to get them? if karkat is ever in there… like… does karkat never go there because he doesn’t dare go into bro’s space? considers it something huge and possibly even sacred friend: Karkat doesn’t go into the office because that’s just…not his? All meetings or business things are held in the studio friend: The office is just for whatever bro does. He’s been in a couple times early in the career but not in recent times and bro told him once to not go there uninvited so of course karkat doesn’t barge in. karkat is so obedient when it comes to bro in a freaky amount friend: Apart from the studio it’s the only place that’s both sound proof and has been swept for cameras. friend: Karkat is essentially never allowed to speak to his doctor alone friend: When he does, the doctor suggests getting him off the medication (doesn’t seem to be helping with what is actually just exhaustion) but bro quickly makes him switch doctors. …bro as the source of karkat’s future dug addiction. friend: sending him to rehab but also being the reason for his relapse? friend: Or not letting him go to actual rehab friend: There’s too much talking and therapy they would realize bro’s role in an instant friend: Karkat is 16-17 and already an addict. and bro is also karkat’s dealer so that’s yet another way he fucks karkat up. and if bro sends karkat to rehab it’s to a place he’s secretly poured money in so karkat doesn’t get too far. and when bro withholds the drugs from karkat and karkat begs him for some and bro refuses at first but gives in when karkat’s starts crying and bro’s darker impulses rear it’s ugly head and he makes karkat beg for it in… several ways. bro fucks karkat as karkat pleads and begs and cries for the drugs. friend: And he definitely fucks him through his high friend: Karkat is hardly conscious while bro is just shushing him and telling him i’m here, i’m here. and it starts all over again. whatever karkat remembers is that he felt so good. friend: It’s not until he’s alone maybe in the bath or while bro is at work that Karkat realizes how bruised and sore he is. He can barely walk. for karkat, the night is just this hazy euphoric and orgasmic blur and! karkat never ever thinks of going to someone else for drugs because he can’t stand the thought of bro being disappointed and angry at him. he’s ashamed because he thinks there was some way that he could have avoided having a drug addiction. like… karkat once again thinks that this is his fault, not realizing the hand bro had in it. for karkat, everything is always his fault and never mr strider’s and… somedays, bro actually does feel guilty for ruining karkat and it’s so much guilt that bro can’t look at karkat but some days… bro feels this dark, smug satisfaction for ruining karkat and it’s inescapable. maybe be as the years go by, that dark, smug satisfaction wins more and more …ohohohoholy shit what if the obsessive fan is hal or dirk or…both? he gets curious about karkat when karkat debuts but what kicks off his obsession is when karkat is there at a family gathering and hal manages to talk to him… because karkat’s guard is somewhat down around the strider-lalonde family. because yeah, karkat has several obsessive fans but hal and/or dirk are the only ones who can get close to him! friend: I love love love the idea that it’s hal. friend: Hal being like a closeted fan which feeds the obsession friend: It allows him access that would otherwise be denied to him by bro. holed in up in his room, searching for more pictures of karkat he can save into his hard drive because since bro has a very tight control of karkat, his family is one of the people karkat can really see you know? when and where he sees them is still controlled but bro doesn’t mind him seeing them that much? karkat is on his best behavior so they like him and they think he’s cute friend: None of them have ever expressed much interest in bro’s job or Karkat and they’re not super close so he thinks it’s fine friend: Little does he know Hal has a collection that would rival bro’s also. bro is karkat’s producer too? hal asks karkat to go with him and karkat hesitates but goes with him because he doesn’t have a reason to not trust him when hal finally manages to gets a small smile from karkat… he’s done, his obsession is cemented. oooooh, hal building a fansite for karkat? and he’s always on top of any news about karkat so when karkat gets sick, hal is ready to give him/post a well wishing message on his fansite. whenever karkat goes to meet the any of the strilondes and hal is there, hal has a secret camera to take candid photos of him and he keeps them to himself because if he doesn’t and posts them on the fansite, bro will know friend: Yesssssss there has to be a slip up eventually!!!! friend: The fan gifts friend: That somehow always get to Karkat! because hal always knows where he is! if the “an obsessive fan tries to hurt karkat” incident happens, hal will read about it and he finds the person to take “revenge” and there’s even a rant about the incident in the fansite if the fansite is already up. it could even be one of the first posts in it! friend: Mmm does stuff go missing? friend: Like hal taking karkat souvenirs maybe small things? because hal has to hide them and they have to fit in his pocket or bag. hal taking the spoon or fork karkat had been using… the tissue he wiped his lips on… when hal gets the seat next to karkat, he’s so giddy on the inside hal thinks about asking karkat for his autograph but doesn’t do it because so many people have karkat’s autograph, if he does that he’s not getting something special. maybe hal takes a picture of karkat when karkat’s all sleepy? or karkat taking a nap! or one of the shirts that karkat put aside because he’s changing? hal being too close to karkat and bro catches him kjkjgkkjgg bro is torn between being cold to hal and shrugging it off because people do come too close to karkat when they have the chance. and if bro’s… relationship with karkat hasn’t started yet, he might just shrug it off! i think that bro gets super possessive of karkat and that’s when he starts to restrict him from seeing people karkat’s of course send him fan gifts and some somehow always get to karkat, when a gift reaches the houses where karkat recuperates, bro is furious. this is a no-go zone for the media and it’s a no-go zone for the fans too. hal unknowingly pisses off bro! and bro doesn’t want to leave this precious little dollhouse but he might. he of course puts the gifts in trash. the other gifts (the ones given to karkat during meet & greets and sent to him) are kept in karkat’s hive because bro will never allow it in the dollhouse. they’re a proof of karkat’s fame and bro knows that very well but he doesn’t want them. at all and after bro’s… relationship with karkat starts, he hates it when other people get to close to him and even touch him. because maybe… bro thinks that karkat being touched by someone else makes him dirty and “disgusting”. bro’s darker impulses eventually consuming him… and maybe he either forces karkat to retire or…kills him because bro does give in to his darker impulses so… does it eventually consume him and if it does, how does it end? because it would be such bad luck for karkat when bro does something bad and hal manages to save him but it’s just karkat turning to another obsessed lover. and… depending on how deep the conditioning is, karkat might actually understand that he has to die and there’s the extra layer of grossness when bro tries to kill karkat when he’s still young friend: Okay I want like a really botched attempt and maybe someone catches on in time? because depending on where they are, someone actually will friend: Bro for some unknown reason just fails to kill him. It is weird because he should be good at it but maybe hal inadvertently messes the plan up friend: Karkat is in the hospital friend: Its a media frenzy because if it’s in the dollhouse, no one can catch them there. but if it’s in karkat’s hive or bro’s office at the label hq… or maybe even a hotel… someone will definitely catch them friend: Okay hal going from obsessed fan to maybe genuine love and detective work??? like… hal slowly finding out who karkat really is and instead of being turned off, he begins to like him friend: Maybe he isn’t who hal thought he’s a little different from his public persona and what was the obsessive want to keep karkat becomes this sincere worry in making sure he’s safe friend: Hal learns to see karkat in a way that isn’t just selfishly trying to collect him …which is in a stark contrast to bro who selfishly wants to collect him even more friend: bro goes in the opposite direction friend: He’s less concerned with Karkat’s wellbeing and more with his own access and keeping karkat’s undivided attention friend: Maybe that’s around the time he has karkat diagnosed to drug him friend: Hal doing medical research because it doesn’t make sense friend: Karkat is under strict rules to now show his meds to anyone friend: But hal finds them on accident or while just generally still snooping through karkst’s stuff friend: And he’s like this doesn’t look right ooooh how does hal manage to get close enough to do that? does he become part of the touring band? and adding the “bro tries to kill karkat when karkat is still young”, bro does it because he doesn’t want karkat to get closer to someone else? like… yes, he should try to kill him now because the conditioning is still so ingrained in him. and if karkat dies, he won’t grow old and grow distant to realize what happened to him. gotta keep him pure" thinking but being “pure” means dependent on bro friend: Death as preservation friend: Maybe hal gets close by being their sound guy on tour friend: He’s the only one with the patience to handle bro’s instructions ah, and bro would be even harder on him because he’s family. there’s no nepotism here! also. is hal such a closeted fan that he didn’t talk to roxy about it? because i think that hal does talk to roxy about it and that helps lessen the obsession a bit because roxy will catch it and call him out on it (friend: Bro for some unknown reason just fails to kill him. It is weird because he should be good at it but maybe hal inadvertently messes the plan up) what if bro fails at doing it because he just… couldn’t. if we go with “doting” bro, he has never hurt karkat before so hurting karkat now and even trying to kill him… to him, it’s the first time he’s hurt karkat and he promised that he wouldn’t but he is doing it and oh fuck, why did he do that and maybe that’s how bro gets even more obsessed with karkat because hurting karkat made something snap inside him? and while bro isn’t gonna try to kill karkat again, a part of his increased obsessiveness is remorse and trying to mend it? it would be even MORE fucked up if bro didn’t think the grooming, the relationship and the drugging wasn’t harm. yes, karkat gets bruises after bro fuck but that’s just part of sex! no, it’s harm, intentional physical harm that bro considers as bad. a… “it’s JUST emotional and psychological abuse” kinda thing? so when it the abuse crosses over into physical abuse, that’s finally when bro realizes that something has gone deeply wrong but unfortunately, it doesn’t lessen his obsession friend: Right. Karkat comes down with a fever due to how intense sex was. Like maybe bro as gentle as he can be isn’t great with the aftercare or maybe later on just flat out doesn’t do it and then what? like… bro learns to do better/actually do aftercare? friend: Mmmmmm yes friend: BUT maybe it’s late friend: And hal has kind of been doing that friend: Which is making the bond between karkat and hal grow friend: And there is dissonance when bro starts to do it and karkst is confused? friend: Because he sees that time and care as something he shares with hal? and of course karkat doesn’t think that there’s anything wrong with bro not caring for him, hasn’t mr strider cared for him enough? friend: Right! To karkat everyone has their role and his is to always listen to bro, be subservient to bro oooooh, you know… that implies that karkat and hal have fucked and hm… how did karkat keep that a secret from bro? friend: See i was thinking about that friend: because I feel like hal wouldn’t at first friend: He can’t cross that line it ruins the image he has of his idol ….WAIT what if karkat confesses to bro about it because the guilt was too much and that’s the catalyst of bro trying to kill karkat? karkat is now “dirty” friend: Yessssss okay I was thinking that when hal finds out that karkat has had sex maybe doesn’t know it is with bro friend: But the thought of being able to see karkat like that and sharing that intimacy pushes hal to pursue it and he is so different to bro friend: Karkat can’t help but give in just some person that the label decided to keep a secret because karkat? dating? no friend: I was thinking karkat let’s it slip but knows not to be specific friend: He accidentally tells hal in confidence friend: So only hal knows i guess since hal is the sound guy on tour, that means that they’re in their early twenties so… hal might not realize that it’s weird at first? because if karkat was gonna date, it should be someone close to him friend: I’m still thinking of the time when hal was a closeted stan like… yeah, karkat would sleep with bro because not only are they in the same industry, they’re under the same label and the label wouldn’t protest if it’s bro because bro wouldn’t go public with it. and hal thinks that they’ve slept together only recently so… i think that if hal was still a closeted stan, he’d think that’s not weird at all? like sure, his idol is sleeping with someone but it’s not some rando! i think that maybe hal starts to realize that something is off when he starts to grow out of being a stan? he finally realizes that hey, dating someone you’re managing and produced for is kinda weird? and it finally clicks for him when karkat says something about when the relationship started? like… maybe hal notices the difference between before karkat gets sick and after he recovers? and maybe… karkat doesn’t tell hal that he’s sleeping with bro but hal pieced it together because who else can get close enough to him during all this time? because even if hal is the sound guy during tour, i don’t think bro would let karkat talk to him past 2 minutes. because of course hal became the tour sound guy to be close to karkat but he never gets the chance to because karkat doesn’t stay that long so hal is upset about it and he starts noticing that karkat can’t stay because bro rushes him and when he does, bro is always around… making hal genuinely like karkat is such a good idea! because i thought of the possible parallel of seeing karkat smile was what cemented hal’s obsession with and seeing karkat smile made hal truly fall for him friend: Hal starting to question bro’s presence and motives friend: He gets fired from doing sound maybe? and that cements hal’s suspicion? friend: Yes and hal genuinely wanting karkat to be happy and safe vs bro wanting karkat to be happy and safe as another reason for his obsession and to assuage his guilt. so hal tries to investigate what’s happening without the access he had before. i think jane and roxy would be helpful! friend: Bro wants karkat’s safety as a side effect rather than an integral part of his happiness friend: Yesssss friend: Roxy would be all over this friend: She’s not allowed to get close from the get go because she’s an open fan of karkat friend: Or…. bro doesn’t have a whole lot of say because Roxy also works in the industry? ooooh, is she a dj? friend: yes friend: YES friend: They do a collaboration and possibly produced for karkat before? friend: It’s high demand they have good chemistry friend: They have to go on tour together friend: Bro hates it was just gonna say! bro isn’t pleased but it’s label enforced friend: And Roxy takes this as a rare opportunity to help investigate because if roxy went to the same events that karkat should have gone to, they noticed that karkat isn’t there. and that’s weird in their industry. karkat is only at events that bro can’t weasel out of. and maybe… roxy manages to strike up a camaraderie with karkat and of course bro hates that too. and i think roxy notices something weird too bro can’t fuck karkat when karkat’s busy and on tour but bro is desperate to so he pushes karkat even harder so he’d gets sick from overwork again and bro can steal him away back to the dollhouse. and karkat is desperate for bro too and bro wants nothing more than to give in but they can’t because someone might notice karkat begging bro to fuck him and clambering onto his lap and grinding against him and bro can only finger him khgkjkgkgkgk. bro learns to bring a gag with him so he can keep karkat quiet!!! karkat being 16 and bro has him ride him… digs his fingers into karkat’s skin and bounces him on his lap kghkkhgkgkg. bro and karkat in the dollhouse is the time when bro can fuck karkat as much as he wants so bro is anticipating when karkat gets sick. i’m sorry that got horny so fast thinking about hal fucking karkat and it’s when he’s still an obsessed fan but he’s so gentle! because that’s what his precious, wonderful idol deserves. which is yet another contrast to bro because while hal is still obsessed with karkat, he’s worshipful of him. wants to make karkat happy and is slow and gentle while bro uses wanting to make karkat happy as a reason to satisfy himself hal’s obsession with karkat is unhealthy but it manifests differently from bro’s back to karkat telling bro he slept with someone… karkat feels so fucking guilty about it. he’s only been fucked bro and bro’s only been fucking him so karkat thinks that he’s betrayed bro but the thing is, he doesn’t tell bro the person’s name. because karkat is taking all the blame. he lost control of himself and he seduced that person and karkat begs for bro’s forgiveness. bro is stone-faced but karkat knows that he’s furious. bro finally gets close and his voice is low when he says I look away for a second and you let someone else fuck you. Was I bad that you had to turn to someone else? But I’ve always known you were a slut and he asks questions, did you beg him to fuck you? were you fucking gagging for his dick? did he fuck you better than I did? and karkat is just crying and he doesn’t want to answer those questions but bro makes him. through sobs, karkat does n-no, he didn’t fuck me better than you do. no one fucks me better than you do. I love you, I love your dick, I love it when you fuck me friend: Okay does he believe that though??? he might if the conditioning is still so deep. in the moment, he might. if we go with “karkat had a crush on bro”, karkat might actually believe that he loves bro. has convinced himself of the fact and maybe even does truly, sincerely love him. bro has isolated karkat enough that karkat hasn’t spend enough time with anyone to even develop a crush. there’s only ever been bro you know? so if there’s only ever been bro, who else is there to love? not himself because there’s nothing about himself to love. whatever karkat likes about himself is only whatever bro likes about him. his eagerness to please, his obedience, his work ethic, his eagerness he is to fuck. so… again, if there’s only ever been bro, who else is there to love? fuck man, karkat being super into sex because he knows that’s what bro wants… sexie and sad friend: Yes it’s very much both friend: Hal teaching him hes lovable beyond sex friend: His worship of karkat teaches makes him feel like there is actual value to him friend: Sex with hal when he’s just a fan is nothing compared to when they have sex once hal is sincere did karkat feel uncomfortable with how hal treats him? because it’s both expected and… not. because despite how bro thinks of him, he rarely treats karkat gently. and… does karkat realize that he shouldn’t be sleeping with a fan? because if he doesn’t, it just might be him being a hopeless romantic again and if he does, does he do it because he knows that he won’t be hurt? because thinking of karkat sensing that hal isn’t completely a fan anymore and being uncomfortable with it because there’s no more safety net? hal’s development is opposite to karkat’s too! like… what if karkat prefers it if hal is an obsessed lover because that’s something his familiar with and finds it comforting because it’s what he only knows? because i said that karkat going from an obsessed lover to another lover and that one is because karkat doesn’t know that hal is like that but if karkat does know that hal is like that and chooses to be with him anyway, it’s tragic. if such a lover is all he’s ever known, going to another that’s like that would feel comforting. because at least he knows what to expect and he can act accordingly. because if karkat is in early to mid twenties, his… relationship with bro has going for almost a decade and… that’s fucking rough does karkat ever get this passing moment of realization that there’s something with bro? like… does bro’s temper rises fast and hot and there’s this moment karkat is terrified of bro. when it passes, of course karkat tries to reason it away but maybe it plants a seed of doubt inside him? friend: Omg Karkat freaking out when hal is no longer praising him for things he does as an idol but the little things he knows and notices about Karkat as an authentic troll friend: K: wait, what’s happening? Since when can hal SEE me because he’s being confronted by his real self! friend: Lowkey the heartbreak hal puts himself through in getting rejected over and over friend: Because karkat continues to feel guilty and running to bro it’s a wonder that hal didn’t give up friend: Right! Hal doesn’t give up because it’s karkat and he actually likes the challenge so… does bro decide to kill karkat because of this? [eye emoji] friend: Ohhhj yes but it’s when karkat doesn’t confess who it is?? friend: Never with names friend: But its obvious when he’s feeling guilty friend: So bro gets concerned like actually sees the potential loss of karkat friend: So it becomes a matter of leaving karkat to become damaged goods or preserve the last of his purity has to keep karkat the way he is, the way that he’s still his friend: Does karkat ever find out the extent of hal’s fan obsession? hm… i guess not? because hal is secretive of it. unless karkat gets it through context clues in how hal acts? friend: That would be a big reveal and a potentially damaging one …maybe bro reveals it because if karkat keeps confessing, bro gets this undeniable itch to know. who’s taking karkat and keeps taking him away from him? friend: At first bro thinks its multiple people which feels easier to punish because Karkat, sweetheart, you are a whore. but as bro pieces by karkat’s reaction that it is one person, he becomes angrier bro calling karkat a whore… because karkat going to just one person means that he feels some affection for them OR they have something on him, either way, the person has control over his starlight friend: And how angry would bro be to see karkat fondly touching one of the marks hal left on his collar friend: Karkat maybe even smiles just slightly bro is seeing karkat happy and it’s caused by someone else and that won’t do. that won’t do at all friend: And bro loses it there. Grabs karkat by the wrist and drags him to his office or the bedroom ooooooh, is this a moment when karkat doesn’t want to be fucked by him at all? friend: YES friend: Oh he struggles against bro friend: First time he actually tries to push him away friend: Bro would be livid would be even rougher and even growl. would demand that karkat say he wants him, wants to be fucked by him. and at that moment, bro throws what karkat felt at his face. you said you loved me. you wanted to be fucked by me just last week you climbed into my bed, practically drooling for it. but you do this to me? bro… taking karkat back to the dollhouse. makes him strip and drags him into the living room and in front of the cut-out and framed articles, in front of all the awards on the dresser, bro fucks him there friend: Oh that would fuck karkat up for sure. friend: Maybe at that point he’d rather bro kill him friend: He begs bro to kill him oh I’m gonna go bad here, like way worse than usual so be warned… karkat begs bro to stop but bro just fucks him harder, makes him cum several times. bro marks karkat, bites and bruises and even cumming on his face and bro threatens to take pictures of how karkat looks, says that he’d frame those too. …threatens to show them to his new lover and even says that he’ll fuck him right in front of them. …casually says that maybe he’ll even record one of the times they fuck because if karkat is gonna be a whore, he’ll show them how much of a whore he is when the fury has dimmed slightly, bro is still fucking karkat but it’s slower, gentler. he praises karkat on how good he feels, how good he’s being and how good he takes it, thanks him for being so patient and being so forgiving, oh, karkat, don’t cry. you know I hate it when you cry. I didn’t mean all the stuff I said. I was just angry, I hate it when you go to someone else because I thought you love me. you do love me don’t you? I’m sorry karkat but can you speak louder? I didn’t hear what you said. Oh, you love me? You have no idea how happy I am hearing it. Am I your only one? Am I? when bro finishes, it’s not actually finished. he doesn’t let karkat dress, giving him his shirt to wear and karkat has only that to wear while bro keeps him in the dollhouse. and…marathon non-con sex. bro fucks karkat where in the house and when he feels like it. and bro is still very cruel so he fucks karkat in front of the tv while it plays one of his performances and they… spend a week in the dollhouse and bro just takes and takes and takes and takes from karkat so when the week is up, he’s fucked karkat’s brains out and karkat is sore and limping and worn down. he spreads his legs for bro and bro praises him for it when the week finally does finish and bro finally has his fury under control, he takes care of karkat! but karkat is quiet and too broken to notice. bro makes karkat promise to behave and karkat does. karkat spends the rest of the month recuperating and when karkat is finally “well” enough to be seen in public, it doesn’t escape hal’s (and other fans’) notice that karkat is acting really different. karkat doesn’t go to see hal either. refuses to answer his calls! friend: He is scared that bro will piece it together but bro already did? yes! and also because bro made him promise not to and… karkat can’t suffer through that again can he? but… hal gets a letter with no sender and when he opens it, his stomach fucking drops, it’s a picture of karkat. (younger than he is now? and) asleep. he burns it but it’s seared into his mind forever. and hal knows without a doubt what happened to karkat and what’s happening to him now …holy shit. bro knows karkat’s lover is hal but hal doesn’t know that karkat’s lover is bro so… when hal goes to ask bro on who karkat is seeing and if he’s seen anyone suspicious around him, he doesn’t fucking know. hal asks who’s around karkat, who has access to his living quarters, says that someone has stalked and is still stalking karkat, had taken pictures of him sleeping and hal is so fucking angry and bro is just so calm hal turns to bro furious. why is he so calm about this?! why can’t he give him a good answer?! karkat is being hurt and he’s just gonna let that happen?! hal cuts himself off because he wants to stay calm. he’s staring at bro and then it happens fuck oh fuck it’s him isn’t it. the man standing before him. his fucking relative. he’s the one hurting karkat. hal wants to fucking scream. he knows where karkat lives, has access to where karkat lives, has been by karkat’s side this whole fucking time bro sees the lightning strike of realization hit hal and he knows then and there that hal can’t be allowed to live. bro does his best to beat the shit out of hal and even gets his hands around his neck to squeeze. if he can’t kill hal with his bare hands, he’ll kill him with his fucking tie hal fights back, he does his fucking best to fight back but bro is fueled by obsession and bottomless wrath and hal loses but he lives because someone gets there in time. karkat screams at bro to stop but that just makes him even more angrier but karkat keeps screaming at bro to stop. he is crying and pleading and begging, please stop, please and karkat… does manage to get bro to stop. bro stops, it’s hard to believe but he does. he can’t stand it when karkat cries, doesn’t want him to cry. maybe it’s a kernel of actual fondness in him bro stops and karkat keeps pleading and begging him to stop but karkat knows that that won’t end this so easily. so karkat promises. he promises that he won’t see hal again, promises to be good, promises to only be bro’s again now and forever, promises to love him and him only and… bro takes it. he doesn’t want hal to keep on living but he doesn’t want to refuse karkat’s promises so he takes it and lets go bro takes karkat arm, gently! gently this time. there’s no want for violence against karkat now or ever because bro knows then and there that karkat can’t be allowed to live. why didn’t think of this before? karkat could have died young and his forever. karkat could have died before this stupid worthless piece of shit kid got his dirty disgusting hands on him and fucked the sense out of his beautiful head. karkat could have died and bro would have kept him in his heart till the day he died. all beautiful and pure tucked away in a box does he mean in a box for vinyls or a coffin? who knows bro takes karkat back and isn’t he being gracious? after everything karkat had done against him, the disobedience and the whoring, doesn’t bro forgive him and take him back? bro takes karkat back and takes him back to the dollhouse. it’s where this whole relationship started so this is where it’ll end and for karkat, the place is fucking nauseating to be in. he remembers what it means and what happened here. he doesn’t look at the articles, the photos, the awards, the posters. he can’t fucking wait to leave this behind. it won’t happen but he can’t fucking wait for people to forget him hal runs after him. of course he does, he fucking has to. everything fucking hurts but he fucking has to. he knows that this won’t end well and he promised that worthless piece of shit relative jack fucking shit. hal finally goes to the dollhouse. and he is fucking disgusted by all of it. to think he was like this once upon time too… hal is fucking glad he grew out of it hal shoots bro. fuck, that’s such a simple way to say it but that’s what happens. hal shoots bro karkat is horrified and he bursts into tears. he drops into his knees beside bro and begs him to stay with him. there was only ever been bro so karkat doesn’t want to lose him. despite all the harm and the terror bro caused karkat, karkat still loves him so much. he had loved him before and he loves him now and what can he do with that love? he can’t just let that love go easily karkat clings to bro and hal has to drag him away from him. bro reaches for karkat and karkat reaches back but hal drags him away and karkat can’t understand why. why is doing this? why did he do this? why is he taking him away from bro? hal gets karkat out of the door while karkat is kicking and screaming. all he wants is to be with bro, even if he has to die with him all karkat wants that in sharp, agonizing moment is to be with the man he loves (years later, unknown how many years later it so just years later, karkat thanks hal for doing what he did. hal had saved him) hal burns down the dollhouse too. he brought gasoline and that disgusting house is going to fucking burn (karkat thanks hal for that too.) hal forces karkat into the passenger’s seat then gets into the driver’s seat and the car drives away from the burning house. they’re both staring at it till it disappears in the distance dirk walks around his apartment for a midnight snack and gets the fucking scar of his life when the front door’s doorknob starts rattling. hal yells that it’s him and to open the fucking door so dirk does. hal stumbles into dirk’s apartment, a missing idol sobbing uncontrollably in his arms and dirk wonders what the fuck just happened to them dirk doesn’t ask and he’s surprised when he hears the news report of bro being dead. a relative of his is dead. dirk was never close to him but it’s still pretty damn weird to hear that your older cousin is dead. house fire it says but dirk has a suspicion that someone killed him. dirk doesn’t ask. the missing idol asleep in his couch and hal is looking at him with desperation. yeah, dirk has a suspicion on what happened roxy and jane know what happened. of course they do. hal told them what he was gonna do and who provided the car, the liters of gasoline and the matchbook? who provided the pistol and the bullets to kill bro with? of course they know. and when karkat talks about what happened to him years later, jane, roxy and dirk are fucking glad that hal did it karkat doesn’t show himself in public in a long while and when he finally does, he announces that he’s retiring. it’s a media frenzy. an idol disappeared and when he comes back, he’s retiring?! the reporters ask him why and karkat answers that it’s because his mental health and they try to ask him more questions but karkat doesn’t answer any of them and there’s theories on why he did it and where he was going to go karkat does actually retire. but wherever he goes, fans and cameras are there but he’s not in that life anymore and maybe he can live his life another way. does karkat get together with hal? maybe, maybe not. either way, hal doesn’t mind because he understands that karkat needs to heal from this does karkat talk about what happened? yes, when he gets older. after he realizes what happened to him and got help to deal with all the shame and guilt that he felt. when karkat speaks up about it, he’ll make sure he’s heard

#brokat #halkat #arkat #my aus #idolatry

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