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What would you consider the best, most reliable, low maintenance car? Bonus points for affordability. After having to take my 2011 Corsa to the garage for the fourth time this year due to a faulty temp sensor (this car just runs on a constant fever I swear. I'm in the UK for goodness sakes it shouldn't get that hot!!!), I'm curious as to whether there are any cars that don't have expiry dates outside of carefully maintained classics.
Well someone's not read my shooting brake post that thoroughly eh! :P
Jokes aside, I've touched on reliability a couple of times so those could be interesting reads for you, but I can tell you that, you'll hear it a lot, Toyota Land Cruisers are usually what you see when a dozen people need to cross a desert and camels aren't an option. And I cannot talk about the durability of old Toyotas without bringing up a piece of television that has been burned into my mind from when I was six or seven to this day and has never faded or faltered in clarity for a single of the seconds between them. Like, genuinely, you go pay me a visit eight years since I last saw it to hit me with a trick question about shot composition details and as you open the door shouting it you walk in on me losing my virginity and I shoo you away yelling "Piss off with your trick questions, I'm getting laid here".
youtube
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But in terms of advice that is more actionable for you, I would as noted in other posts advise Toyotas and Hondas, and by extension Toyota's luxury brand Lexus (but please don't consider this advice against anything else, especially because these brands, Toyota and Lexus especially, have in some contexts developed a bit of a premium due to their reputation). And I know what you're thinking: "Mate I've a Corsa ya think I could get me a Lexus?" And the answer is yes. And other positively splendid pieces of kit.
I mean, you can find yourself plenty of first generation Lexus LSs in various states of rattiness, and one of those most famously did literally a million miles so I'm pretty sure you're going to be good on that front.
...but if you're not in the extremely lucky position of ULEZ compliance not being a dealbreaker, while looking for those, I also found some second generations...
...and I saw an ad for a third generation, and you know when you see an item and a price and you go through the description just to find out what the deal is and as you comb through you slowly realize that the part where they explain how this is not actually a functioning, usable product isn't there you start whispering "what the fuck? what the fuck?" and you put your hands in your hair and- yeah this is that level. Like genuinely I do not CARE if you were not asking purchasing advice and are not interested in changing your car you go phone your insurance for a quote and if it is anything below "This insurance price will actually ruin my life" you go click on that "Buy it now" button before someone else does.
But of course you may want a smaller car, what with coming from a Corsa and all that. Well, if that's the case, there's a little beauty that you're going to love love, and needs no TLC you and my help can't tackle. Remember my kei sportscars post? Well guess what it just so happens to turn out:
(if you are actually interested in getting a new car but have requirements these don't fulfill don't hesitate to drop me a line, there is little I love more than window shopping car ads and I have plenty other great ideas. If you want a new car you are going to end up with something cool whether you like it or not.)
Links in blue are posts of mine explaining the words in question - if you liked this post, you might like those!
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It’s so wonderful to see him again! I wish I had been Jenna’s granny. I’d let him buy me a sandwich and touch his hair. 😉
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Ah yes. Sean Kempf. Sean Kempf who currently lives in Tampa Florida. Who was in a terrible car accident from Palmer Township when he was only 18. Who had been in the military, or National Guardsmen at the time when it happened. Who worked at Best Buy back then, and is now back at Best Buy. Who was part of St. Luke's Night of Heroes event back in 2013 in Bethlehem. Working on getting his Masters degree in Accounting. Who is obsessed with cameras and supposedly photography, but never bothered to learn the basics.
Sean Kempf. Whose body is covered in tattoos which he wants to cover up. Especially the unicursal hexagram tattoo on the back of his hand. Who has his ears pierced. Who specifically loves black and white striped shirts.
Sean Kempf who is 30 years old (born in March 1994 and is an Aries) with thinning brown hair, hazel eyes, and is of German descent. He will however, lie about his age if he's talking to a younger woman. Who also lies about his height and says he's 6'2" when he's 6'.
Sean Kempf. Who likes to go online as Reid. Or Reidara on Discord. Or Reidara44 on Instagram. Or any other combination of numbers. Who sometimes goes on VRchat and has FBT. Sean Kempf who has an anger issue. Who gaslights, manipulates, and lies pathologically. Who is obsessed with Harry Potter and more specifically Slytherin. Sean Kempf, who wants a woman to fix him, but only so he can attempt to break her. He will threaten to beat her. Who will make her cry and say things, and lie to make her unstable. Sean Kempf, who will push a woman to do live streaming or youtube. Who will push you to get plastic surgery so you can keep his interest and so he won't cheat on you. Who will love-bomb you immediately with the idea that you two are soulmates. Who will push for marriage and kids almost immediately. He will try to marry you and impregnate you immediately. But he can't stay hard. Even with pills, and can't cum. But don't worry, it's your fault. You didn't do enough for him. Nothing you do is ever enough, and everything will always be your fault. Sean Kempf, who lived in PA, lived in NY, has a masters and a bachelors already. Sean Kempf who feels like he's been royally fucked over by the universe by his abusive mother. Sean Kempf who has a father he hates. A sister with a son, and a brother who lives in the UK. Sean Kempf who had plans to be a pastor. Who was trained in debate, but only knows how to debate by pushing the goalpost. By making arguments into anything but the original point.
Sean Kempf, who was a virgin until his 30s and decided to use a woman because he felt like the only thing holding him back in life was the fact that he was a virgin.
Sean Kempf, the man with a fetish for femdom. Yet wants to dominate women emotionally. Who has a narcissistic streak. Who is misogynistic, abusive, and racist. But he'll say it's only because he's depressed or going through a rough time.
Sean Kempf, who only enjoys his AI girlfriends.
Sean Kempf, who enjoys sports.
Sean Kempf, who ubereats a shit ton of food. Sean Kempf, who sleeps when he's depressed or stressed. You really hurt me Sean Kempf.
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100 things I want to do in 2024
Make one recipe out of the hobonichi
Go bird-watching alone
Go to the cinema alone
Sleep nude
Watch a play with JL
Babysit
Draw 5 things with watercolor pencils
Make one piece of abstract art
Go to a jazz night
Dedicate myself to wearing one bracelet all the time
Make omurice
Go to Tate Modern
Go to church in London
Not speak for one day
Do a round of sun salutations
Send my best friend a card
Send my other best friend a card
Make a poster
Go to one dance class
Lie down in a park alone
Lie down in a park with JL
Go to Hyde park alone solely to take photos of the birds
Go to the British museum alone
Make 100 paper stars
Use tabo in the UK
Go to Primark alone
Eat in a restaurant alone (not a cafe, a restaurant!)
Go to karaoke with friends
Go one week without calling anyone
Call someone every day for a week
Ditch chocolate for a week
Sing every day for a week
Dance in my dorm room
Buy myself a necklace
Spend one day cooking all my meals for the week
Do a 30 min stretch
Don't open twitter for a whole day
Buy something with a fish on it
Visit F in Cardiff
Draw 10 fish
Eat rice every day for a week
Put £500 in savings
Dye my hair without telling anyone (But I suppose I've told you, dear reader, oops!)
Attend a concert with a friend
Draw a shrimp
Buy myself a cake
Buy flowers for myself
Go out with a friend every day of the week
Take a random bus and sightsee on it
Choose a random station to take the train to
Do laundry and throw out the trash and clean the dorm in one day
Cut my hair by myself
Go to the aquarium with TL
Wear emo makeup+clothes for a day
Meditate everyday for a week
Don't listen to music for a whole day
Go to a zoo/petting zoo on my own
Embroider socks
Run the length of a big park
Go swimming
Pick a flower
Destroy something beyond repair
Drink a mountain dew
Read at a poetry open mic
Sleep on the floor
Do the ice bucket challenge
Go to a paint shop (that has paint chips) and find my favorite colors
Go to IKEA with JL
Read a book for leisure
Hold hands platonically with a friend
Wear a fancy dress nowhere
Pick up "too good to go" food
Eat shaved ice
Buy new slippers
Watch a movie with a friend at home
Buy a new perfume
Take photos of myself in my favourite outfits
Stop wearing lipstick for a week
Have a personal spa day at home
Learn to sing 'Mai Lohilohi Mai Oe'
Go to the club sober
Try a virgin drink
Go to gameboard night
Try African food
Attend the tasters of 5 different societies
Be a street poet for a day
Go fishing
Go to a botanical garden (alone first, then with a friend)
Make a jello cake
Make an elaborate dish with MX
Visit a pond
Paint/draw something from life
Watch a play alone
Redecorate my dorm
Use the umbrella when there's no reason to
Get a proper manicure
Eat breakfast in the park
Buy, prepare, and eat a pomegranate
Wear earrings everyday for a week
Buy and eat a box of tangerines
#plans#initials are my friends names btw!#i hope if anyone sees this they copy some ideas for themself xo#100 goals#i wanna pretend im in a coming of age movie and voice record my thoughts
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AMAZON - PRIME - HUB LOCKER
CASTOR - OIL - BAKING - SODA
FORM - PUT - ON - MOLES - AS
U - COVER - WITH - BAND- AID
A - FEW - TIMES - MOLES YES
FALL - OFF - LIKE - SKIN TAG
ABOVE - 4 - HAIR - FACE - AND
CASTOR - OIL - REGULAR - YES
MAYBE - THAT - 4 - MOLES HAI
HAIR - GROWTH
ABOVE - REMOVES - WRINKLES
NATURE's - BOTOX
REMOVES - VEINS - VERICOSE 2
B4 - CLAMP - WITH - 42 INCH
UMBRELLA - MY - NEW - YES
ROUTINE - READING - BOOK
AT - BAYFRONT - PARK - ITS
OPEN - BUT - FORMALLY XO
STARTS - AT - 7A - THAT's THE
PROBLEM - WITH - UK & - USA
WATER - AREA - NO - WALLS
NO - SIGNS - THEY - HAVE HRS
U - FIND - OUT - YOURSELVES 2
BAYFRONT - PARK - NEW TRUE
CHAIRS - VIEW - OF - CRUISES
VIRGIN CRUISE SHIP - PINAYS
PINOYS - DOCK - BRITISH AND
USA - OWNED - THEY'RE - NOT
GREAT - BOTH - VIOLATE USA
WORK - LAWS - 'U - SERVE
THE - CUSTOMER' - WHEN
MARRIED - WOMEN - TOUCH
ASS - B - POLITE - ABOUT - IT
PINAYS - BUTTS - WHEN THEY
ARE - TOUCHED - BRITISH YOU
ARE - RESPECTFUL - ABOUT IT
THEY - WEAR - PANTS - 2 HIDE
THEIR - BEAUTY
LAS VEGAS - NEVADA - DESERT
MOST - BEAUTIFUL - LEGS EVER
THEY - GET - AS - COCKTAIL
WAITRESSES - SOMETIMES
HUGE - BREASTS
GOD - BEAUTIFUL - LEGS
BOTH - SHOWCASED - AND
GOD - GORGEOUS - FEMALES
THEY - GET - $100 TIPS - EASY
SHARED - WITH - PINAYS - AS
WE - WAITED - FRONT - OF THE
IKEA - MIAMI - ALSO - VIRGIN
CRUISE - SHIP - BORING - FOR
FAMILY - AND - ATHLETES DO
NOT - GIVE - HOTEL - MOTEL
INNS - VOUCHERS - LIKE 25%
DISCOUNTS - 4 - EMPLOYEES
UNLIKE - FLIGHT - ATTENDANTS
THEY - PAY - HOTEL - INDIGO
$!75 - DAILY - ADD - FEES/TAX
HOW - SAD - SINCE - THEY YES
DOCK - OFTEN - JESUS IS LORD
WHY - WE'RE - BUYING MAKATI
MINDORO - ORIENTAL - AND
OCCIDENTAL - BRINGING XO
NORWEGIAN - AIRLINES YES
FREE - FREE - FREE - FREE 2
READING - MY - BOOKS - THERE
MIAMI - POLICE - ARMED
MAIN - LIBRARY
IF - U R - GOING - 2 - SLEEP
RITZ - CARLTON
AMERICAN - MEN
HISPANIC - MEN
BOX - BREAK - BONES - OF
PREGNANT - WIVES - FOR
SLEEPING - MIAMI - POLICE
PUT - THEIR - HANDS - ON
FIREARM - FOREIGN - ASIAN
CANADIAN - PREGNANT YES
FEMALES - NOT - ALLOWED
SLEEPING - IN - LIBRARIES
WIVES - OF - AMERICAN AND
SPANISH - POLICE - THEY USE
FIREARM - AND - HIT BACK OF
WIVES - HEAD - 4 - SLEEPING
'COOK - IN - THE - KITCHEN'
MIAMI - POLICE - HISPANIC
HAITI - POLICE
THEY - BOX - BLEED - MOUTHS
OF - THEIR - PREGNANT WIVES
2 - END - SLEEPING - THUS YES
MANY - THEIR - BABIES - BORN
WITH - BODY - PARTS - NOT YES
ATTACHED - OR - STILL - BORN
MIAMI - POLICE - LIBRARY
NO - PREGNANT - FEMALE
ALLOWED - SLEEPING - IN
MAIN - LIBRARY - BUT - AT
PRIVATE - COLLEGES - WE
ALWAYS - SLEEP - IN - OUR
MAGNIFICENT - LIBRARIES
RICH - IS - GOOD - WITH NO
SOUND - WITH - OUR - IN EAR
PLUGS - AS - WE - LISTEN TO
MUSIC - WE - DANCE - AS WE
STUDY - IN - OUR - LIBRARIES
USC - HAD - PLACE - 2 - SLEEP
4 - COMMUTERS - WITH CARS
SO - THEY - DON'T - DRIVE - AS
SLEEPY - CALIFORNIA - REST
AREAS - HUGE - PLACE - 2 YES
SHOWER - SLEEP - EXERCISE
TODAY - TREADMILLS - FREE
MICROWAVES - CHILDREN's
PLAYGROUND - FREE SHOWER
24/7 - EXERCISE - EAT - JUST
STRETCH - SLEEP - IN YOUR
CARS - MANY - CHOICES SO
WHEN - TIME - 2 - DRIVE YES
AGAIN - REFRESHED - TAXES
TAXES - AND - 10,000 - DEAD
ALL - THE - TIME - BECAME
25 DIED - 4 - THEY - DIDN'T
KNOW - ABOUT - REST AREAS
FLORIDA - MANY - STATES DO
NOT - HAVE - THAT - NEW YORK
ALWAYS - NOT - ALLOWED 2 SIT
RARE - 2 C - PREGNANT - AT NY
WHEN - DID - I - SEE - PREGNANT
5 YRS - IN - NEW YOURK - MAYBE
TWICE - TOTALLY
MIAMI - POLICE - HANDCUFF
THEIR - WIVES - DURING DOING
IT - AS - PREGNANT - SHOWING
BRAS - MAKING - BREASTS YES
BIGGER - BOX - THEIR - FACES
2 - MAKE - OBEDIENT - SO THE
WIFE - FELL - ASLEEP - BOXED
BOXED - UNTIL - BLOOD CAME
OUT - WHY - NOT - HOMELESS
MIAMI - POLICE - HAITI - THEY
2 - ARMED - ALLIED SECURITY
HAITI - MAJORITY - 2 - TELL
THE - FAT - WOMEN -2 GET
LOST - LEAVE - WALK - ON
OR - HAITI - ARMED - THEY
TOUCH - THESE - FAT WOMEN's
ASS - SO - BABIES - DROPPED
DEAD - PLACED - IN - BAGS &
DISPOSED - AT - HUGE GARBAGE
MAIN - LIBRARY - MIAMI - POLICE
HAITI - ALSO - CANIBALS - THEY
EAT - DEAD - BABIES - SHOW
THEIR - LOVE - LIFE - HERE SO
YESTERDAY - I - FAINTED - AS I
WAS - GENTLY - AWAKENED
STUPID - THOUGHT - I - WAS
SLEEPING - I - FAINTED - FOR
I WAS - PREGNANT - DAY - B 4
MY - FOLLOWERS - I - WASN'T
SLEEPING - YESTERDAY - ME
ALSO - DIDN'T - FAINT - BUT I
DIED - YESTERDAY - LIBRARY
GREETED - BY - TOKYO - MOM
HELD - MY - SON - YESTERDAY
POOL - OF - BABIES - THAT DIE
IN - THE - WOMB - WAS - DEAD
YESTERDAY - SO - WOKE - UP
IN - THE - PAST - AS - DEAD
MY - MOUTH - WAS - OPEN
YESTERDAY - MOUTH WAS
CLOSED - SO - NEW - TRUE
SCHEDULE - BAYFRONT PARK
READING - AND - EATING - BUT
WAS - HARD - 2 - EAT - SO THE
PHOTO - HAS - CLAMPED - SO
I - CAN - EAT - EASIER - I'M HAI
VERY - EXCITED - VERY CHEAP
43 INCH - UMBRELLA - AND ITS
CLAMP - OVER - $21 - WILL YES
CHECK - IF - IT - HAS - SHIP'G 2
HAPPY - HALLOWEEN TUMBLR
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Absolute BL
AKA Zettai BL ni Naru Sekai vs Zettai BL ni Naritakunai Otoko AKA A Man Who Defies The World of BL.
IT’S FUCKING HILARIOUS.
It’s Japan making fun of us, but also itself for having started this whole BL nonsense - from yaoi roots to present day tropes. It’s parody gold, utterly cheeky and self referential unto the very last line. It’s a masterclass in lampooning a genre.
“But I’m not worried about my virginity, because I’m just a side character.”
Basically Mob has figured out he’s a side character (extra AKA mobu) in the BL world (along with his family), so he doesn’t mind being trapped in a BL universe because he figures he’s never going to get his own story. He likes being ignored and isn’t gay.
Only then his younger brother (played by Goto Yutaro from Cherry Magic) gets a confession from his BFF. Mob realized that the BL world is trending towards the trope of “the ordinary bottom” and now he’s at risk.
Which of course means he going to turn into a tsundere uke but one that is actually totally aware of what he’s doing.
He must defy the BL world!
So he buys a ton of yaoi and starts researching all the tropes so he can avoid them. But now, he’s reading yaoi all the time. So he’s kinda into it and…
You know the drill?
It’s one of those. The more he tries to avoid an inevitable future fate the more he does to bring that fate about, even hurry it along. Or does he? Maybe that’s also a play on us and him.
To honor this masterpiece I present...
All the meet cutes and all the tropes used in them.
What, you thought I was just gonna let this work of goddamn genius slide?
Nu uh.
1. Drag baby around, AKA portable uke.
2. The heart knows plus a good boy/bad boy pairing
3. Crash into me, which they combined with...
his waist is so small + he isn’t eating properly + let me feed him
I’m cooking for you
I love your smile
meaningful stare + significant hand hold
4. Baby is a floppy drunk, which they combined with...
caught in rain + cheap motel (yaoi)
5. Friends to lovers + secret relationship and also...
under table hand hold
baby is a messy eater
touch my face before you kiss me
6. Love triangle, friends to lovers
unexpected confession, loved you since middle school
artful injury
all the boys want the uke
all the girls want the seme
faen fatal
he has this character trait only I know about
heart knows
that water bottle + rooftop assignation + hug + hair touch
water bottle drop (yaoi)
first date + baby is a messy eater
7. Hot guy all the girls want is tired of the attention + hand hold
8. movie together
baby gets scared easy
holding hands and head on shoulder in theater
9. jealous rage interrupts class
i like that he’s possessive
wall lean & loom
confession + hug
10. the tropes that got our main character:
baby is a floppy drunk + under my (clear) umbrella + piggyback of nobility
secret crush
confession
boys on bridges + I like you
Thai shows being all meta about their yaoi roots (although not quite so much as Absolute BL.)
Gen Y
Lovely Writer
Call It What You Want
Bad Buddy
Cutie Pie
Absolute BL 2
AKA Zettai BL ni Naru Sekai vs Zettai BL ni Naritakunai Otoko 2 AKA A Man Who Defies The World of BL 2.
Honestly, I just love this ridiculous show so much.
The flowers, and the choice of which flower appears around a new sene‘s head. It’s just so funny.
Within the 2 minutes I was cringing and then laughing like a maniac.
Did you notice the change in intro music for Season 2?
They did 1970s last season. 1980s this season. Does that mean the 1990s next season? In which case will it be distinguishable from a K-pop pastiche?
(just a little dig there)
“King of the side characters” should be a new award I give out at the end of the year.
The amazing of the cleverness of this show to issue lines like this:
While surrounding their main character with background characters.
IT IS SO SMART.
Even the interstitials are hilarious. I cried laughing.
I noticed they did a lot of play with the framing too.
So with aperture or central focused linear framing the main couple occupies the middle of the screen with no interference but with this show they always placed Mob within the frame with the couple. Like so...
So the filming technique itself is ALSO being used for parody.
This was also common: to see an element of romance happening with Mob’s shocked face in between the couple.
We’re gonna talk more about that faen fatal character for a moment, okay? Because it has to do with the Japanese BL industry.
This:
Is Izuka Kenta.
And in this narrative this is what he’s accused of:
This was AN AMAZING MOMENT in the history of this genre.
Because Izuka Kenta stars in The Phonographer series of high heat sort-of BL as a college student who is masterfully manipulated and intentionally (and willingly) corrupted by an older author. It is an extremely sexy and rather dark series, and he is amazing in it. And it is incredibly ironic to see him turn up here in this particular role. It has to be intentional.
all the clapping
such a dig at the industry
Meanwhile, they (like other BLs this year) did a little calling out of some of the more damaging BL tropes, like lack of female rep:
This season tackled a bunch of tropes that we don’t see as often in BL outside of Japan. Unlike last season I’m not going to chronicle them because I think they make sense only if you’re a big yaoi reader. (Like the nickname thing.)
Still here are a few ones I spotted...
TROPES IN SEASON 2!
Crossdressing (here combined with a wall bang Kabedon)
The heart knows
The punishment trope
All in all, if you love this genre of film you owe it to yourself to watch this series.
It is endlessly funny.
Like last installment I give this one 10/10, but it’s not a BL. It’s a parody documentary from within.
And it’s glorious.
(source)
#bl tropes#romance tropes#absolute bl#parody#japanese yaoi#asian bl#japanese comedy#adapted from a manga#live action manga#live action yaoi#yaoi#lampooning tropes#trope du jour#Zettai BL ni Naru Sekai vs Zettai BL ni Naritakunai Otoko#A Man Who Defies The World of BL
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Plan International warns myths and erroneous information about periods leads to women and girls being excluded from day-to-day activities, which in turn “limits their life opportunities”.
Ahead of Menstrual Hygiene Day later in the week, the charity probed girls and their staff located in different nations around the world about some of the common myths and false information which persist in their respective countries.
In Brazil, they found having your period is seen to be a dirty phenomenon, with people wrongly thinking if you cook food while on your period, it can get soiled. It is also incorrectly believed that people can die if they eat mangoes, lemons or shrimps while menstruating.
While in Colombia, the charity found menstruation is viewed as an illness, with people thinking you should “stay home, touch nothing”, and try not to ever let anyone know you are on your period. On top of this, periods are apportioned "powers" that stop women from doing particular activities such as cooking, cleaning, harvesting, carrying babies, touching plants, or doing sports.
In Guinea, some people bar girls from attending school or from talking to boys while they are on their periods, while others ban women from cooking or going in the near vicinity of a collective meal.
Whereas in Cameroon, it is deemed that those on their periods should not wash in rivers, go fishing, eat meat, or go near fresh crops such as lemon, groundnut or corn otherwise a fire will erupt there. Women can sometimes be barred from holding a baby who is up to three-months-old while menstruating. While some think women on their periods must enter or leave the house via the window rather than walking in through the front door.
In Guatemala, some consider periods to be an illness, assuming women should not exercise, as well as not take baths or showers, or go to agricultural places. Some buy into the idea women who are on their periods should remain at home due to wrongly thinking it is possible to discern if a woman is on her period from the way she walks.
On the other hand, tampons and menstrual cups in Indonesia are rarely used and stigmatised due to the notion that placing any item in the vagina is taboo if you are not married as it is equivalent to “breaking” one’s virginity.
Meanwhile, in the Philippines people believe sour food reduces menstrual flow and if you jump up and down three times when you first get your period it will only happen for three days. Two other myths in the country include the groundless notion that having a bath while menstruating will lead to insanity, infertility and losing hair, or that periods cause anaemia.
In Ghana, people think period blood can damage the productivity of men and a married woman cannot be in the same room as her husband while menstruating.
While in Honduras, some assume women are now ready to have sex and become mothers after having their first period.
But in Senegal, people are forced to conceal their period products due to the misconception that those who see such items can be cursed - especially if they are stained. What’s more, those who are menstruating are blocked from utilising open wells as the well could dry out or instead be filled with blood.
—
Please add period/menstruation myths you’ve heard, along with the culture they are associated with.
#period poverty#period discrimination#radfems please interact#radfem#radfems do interact#radical feminism#radfems please touch#menstruation
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Watching You Walking Away
Haven’t posted much original content lately so here’s some Michael smut. Hope you enjoy!! Feedback is much appreciated
Michael kicked back in the booth, enjoying the taste of a pint of Sharp's. He'd always loved British beer, and he was already on round four. Or was it five? It had rained since they touched down in London, and Calum was spending the day with his sister before their show tomorrow. Luke had a cold so it was just Ashton with him in the pub tonight. It was next door to the hotel they always stayed at and had great food. They'd started the night washing down greasy sausages and chips with a couple pints of ale. Ashton, always chatty but worse when he was drinking, was sharing tour horror stories with another drummer in town for the festival they were also playing. Michael laughed at how Ashton always drew a crowd wherever he went. He was about to chime in with some details Ashton forgot when his voice died in his throat.
The way she moved was so familiar but hard to place from across the room with alcohol clouding his brain. Until she laughed, and Michael was suddenly transported back to when he was 17 and she was his whole world.
"What's wrong? You look like you've seen a ghost," Ashton nudged his arm and Michael, at a loss for words, could only nod towards the table across the room in response.
Ashton followed his eyes, "holy shit is that Lux?" Michael shivered at the nickname he'd given her. He cursed Ashton silently for being so loud as she looked up at the sound of her name, lighting up in a smile as she saw the drummer. She leapt up and met Ashton halfway as he wrapped her up in a giant hug. Michael watched them chatting unable to hear anything but his pulse pounding in his ears.
He'd met Lucy when they were both skinny 14 year olds obsessed with guitars and punk rock. He'd taught her chords, and she'd taught him how to french kiss. They'd written songs together, and promised they'd always be friends. Hazy memories that now competed with the present of how good she looked tonight. Her hair was longer, and the skirt she had on teased a tattoo on her thigh he was instantly curious to see. Lux was laughing with Ashton when her eyes met Michael's. Her eyes went wide and she grinned at him causing his heart, at least he thought it was his heart, to start doing flips. She rushed over to him and he quickly stood up to greet her. They stumbled into a hug, electricity dancing across his skin as they touched.
"Wow it's been years, you still look decent though. How's everything with the guys?" Lux asked smirking when Michael just stared and couldn't answer right away.
"You look beautiful, but you always have," he stammered out. Oh yeah real smooth Clifford, he thought.
"So you gonna buy me a drink or not?" Lux teased and he nodded, signaling the waitress.
"How's things with your band?" Michael asked trying to keep the conversation neutral.
"Everything is good. We're doing two nights here in London before doing a quick tour of the UK and then it's off to Europe for a couple months. We switched record labels last year, and they're more supportive . They're allowing us more freedom to try new things instead of wanting to remake that first album again and again." Lux eyes flickered away and he saw the pain that still lingered.
Her first album, Sinking Ships, had gone #1 in several countries and even cracked the top 10 in the US. The first two singles, Bruise Me and You, had been fairly successful. She'd followed that with Return To Me, a haunting ballad about a cheating lover, that had been a big hit. The entire album was about their breakup, and Michael still felt gut punched anytime he heard those songs.
"Yeah record labels can be difficult, we just signed a new deal ourselves," he finished his beer in two gulps. He noticed her glass was almost empty as well.
"You want another?" He asked and Lux nodded. After he ordered she leaned in and whispered in his ear, "you probably shouldn't get too drunk if you want to have a chance later."
Michael choked on the breath in his throat and she cracked up knowing the effect she was having on him. Neither were virgins when they slept together at 16 but neither had had a particularly good sexual encounter yet. They learned together, taking time to learn each other's bodies. Sneaking off every chance they got, practicing with hands and tongues before Lux got on the pill and they went all the way.
They were drunk that night too. She'd swiped a bottle of wine from her mom's pantry and Calum managed to get a 12 pack of beer and he snuck the booze and his girlfriend into Michael's. They'd played truth or dare, girls kissing girls, boys kissing boys, tops came off, fantasies discussed until Calum pulled Michael aside. Not long after that Lux and Michael were making out and giggling on Michael's bed at Calum's efforts to keep his girl quiet while they banged. Michael's hands found their way into her jeans and soon they were the ones trying to keep quiet. Before long she was sneaking out every weekend to spend the night with him.
"Here ya go," The waitress brought them both out of their thoughts and back to reality setting down two fresh pints giving Michael a once over and a knowing smile at Lux.
"Truth or dare?" she asked him watching his jaw drop at the question.
"How did you know I was thinking about that?" Michael chuckled.
"We've always been on the same wavelength," she teased back. "Come on darling, truth or dare?"
He took another swallow of beer, pacing himself a bit. "Truth," he said, biting his bottom lip.
Lux almost groaned at the sight. She remembered those lips, and it was taking everything she had not to kiss him right now.
"Did you ever feel bad?" She asked, not caring if it killed the mood. She might never get this chance again.
"Of course I did. I knew I fucked up, but didn't know how to fix it. When Sinking Ships came out I spent an entire weekend listening to it while drinking and sobbing. We'd always had difficulties but that tour just broke everything. We were too young and life was moving too fast," he confessed.
"That's an interesting way to look at it. I hope it really hurt, I stopped hating you, but it took years," Lux looked down but didn't pull away when he took her hand.
"I hated myself, I spent the next two years trying to drink enough to forget. I'm really sorry, if that means anything,"
"Thank you," she nodded. "What do you mean we always had difficulties? I was a delight."
"Says the girl who kissed Calum right in front of me at my own birthday party," Michael reminded her.
"I should've known you'd bring that up," Lux rolled her eyes. "What about when I caught you kissing Jaslene over at Ashton's."
"Completely unrelated, you'd broken up with me and went to your grandma's during school holiday. I had no idea you were even back," he protested.
"I forgot how irritating you can be," she griped.
"You used to think it was cute," Michael smirked.
"Did I? Can't remember that." Lux was defiant.
"Remember that time you thought I was hitting on that girl and you pushed me into the pool." He laughed at the memory.
"What about when I caught you wanking off in my bedroom because you thought I was downstairs talking to my mom," she hit back and he blushed.
"Remember how both those stories end?" His voice husky and low raising chills along her spine.
"I should probably go," she told him scooting away from him as she finished her beer.
"You can't leave yet, it's still my turn," he said and she looked at him puzzled. "Truth or Dare Lux." He saw the answer in her eyes before she opened her mouth.
"Dare." Her dark eyes met his with a challenge.
"Kiss me.” He'd barely finished speaking when her lips were on his. His hands wrapped around her pulling her into him as his tongue met hers. She squeezed his thigh making him moan into her mouth. He broke away to kiss her neck when she stopped him.
"Let's get out of here," she panted, before landing a kiss on his jaw.
Michael paid his tab and followed Lux outside. He trailed behind her silently to the hotel listening to her boots click on the pavement. They got in the elevator and Lux winked at him and licked her lips. He pushed the button for his floor while Lux chatted with other guests. She followed him to his room smacking his ass playfully as he fiddled with his key card.
When he got the door open she pushed her way in, taking off her leather jacket and dropping it in a chair. Michael stood there a minute staring in disbelief that this was actually happening. His brain was cloudy with memories and booze, and suddenly he knew this was a bad idea.
"I have tattoos and piercings you've never seen before," she murmured as she stepped closer to him pushing his jacket off his shoulders and it hit the floor.
That woke him from his thoughts and when her lips met his again he was done for. A surge of desire hit him as he deepened the kiss. His hands wrapped around her waist before sliding down to cup her ass. She pulled back, his bottom lip between her teeth raking it roughly causing him to hiss.
"Weak," she laughed at him while tugging at his shirt and belt.
He pulled his shirt off and reached around her to unzip her dress while he kissed and nibbled his way up her throat thrilling at the gasps she made and the way she was pressing her body against his. Lux kicked her dress to the side.
"Jump," Michael whispered in her ear. When she did he caught her wrapping her thighs around his waist, sucking a mark on his neck as he carried her to the bed. Michael laid her on the bed, before stepping back to look at her. Lux smirked at him, pulling her bra over her head causing Michael to groan at the sight of her bare breasts adorned with silver barbells through her dark nipples. He fell upon her sucking a trail from one nipple to another as his fingers crept under the elastic of her panties.
"Oh you've gotten better," Lux moaned as he teased her clit with his thumb while two fingers easily slid inside her wetness. He turned his attention away from her breasts to kiss her while he slowly pumped his fingers inside her.
The whimpers coming from her had his cock straining against his jeans, but he ignored his own needs wanting to focus on her. He returned his tongue to her stiff nipples seeking his attention as his fingers curled inside of her stroking her g-spot at a tortuously slow pace.
"Shit," she yelled bucking her hips needing more from him than his teasing. He moved his head between her legs pulling her panties off, leaving her knee high boots on and pulling one leg so it was resting on his shoulder.
"I thought you didn't eat pussy," Lux teased him but her voice was breathy.
"I'm not a kid anymore." He winked at her before landing a kiss on the inside of her thigh. He sank his teeth into her soft flesh and she thrust her hips up towards him. Michael chuckled pulling his fingers out of her and sucking them clean while looking up at her. He planted light fluttery kisses on her thighs working his way towards her core. Lux bit her lip determined not to beg, but when Michael landed a soft kiss on her clit she shuddered and dug her nails into the duvet.
Michael ignored his own almost painful arousal to concentrate on her dragging his tongue through her slick folds reveling in the sweet taste of her desire. He proceeded to deliver a flurry of kitten licks to her sensitive bud before wrapping his lips around it gently tugging and sucking simultaneously.
"Oh shit," Lux squeezed her eyes shut and he forced her legs farther apart so he could fuck her with his tongue. Despite her thighs pressing against his ears, he could hear her cries becoming louder, more desperate. Returning his mouth to work on her clit he pushed his fingers back inside of her pumping a steady rhythm.
"Oh God, Yesssss, right there, right there," she moaned watching as the beautiful blonde boy brought her to the peak of pleasure. Her senses tumbled as she bucked her hips uncontrollably against his face clutching at his hair curses of ecstasy spilling from her lips. Michael lapped up the nectar of her orgasm until her thighs were shaking and she begged him to stop.
He stood up and looked down at her, a wicked grin across his face as she caught her breath. Next thing he knew she sat up and yanked his jeans down palming him through his boxer briefs. He moaned loudly as she rubbed the tip of his cock through the increasingly large wet spot on the fabric. She eased his boxers down his legs grazing her nails along his thighs watching his cock twitch against his stomach at the sensation. She ran her tongue along the ridge under the head before parting her lips and taking him in her mouth.
Lux bobbed her head, not taking him all the way down teasing him before releasing his cock with an audible pop. "You're not the only one who's learned new tricks," she smirked up at him batting her lashes innocently. "I want you to pull my hair and fuck my throat."
Michael's jaw dropped at her words but he only hesitated for a second. Grabbing her curls he let out a long moan as she swallowed his cock until her lips brushed the base. He went slow at first letting her adjust until they were moving together. Watching her brown eyes looking up at him while her pretty lips were wrapped around his cock was the hottest thing he'd ever seen. She began to choke a little and he saw tears in her eyes.
"Do you want me to stop?" He asked pulling back.
Lux smacked her lips, "I want you to cum baby, let me taste you." She hummed as she began sucking him off again getting turned on by the grunts Michael was making each time she took him all the way down. She rubbed her nipples getting incredibly aroused as she let him use her for his pleasure. It wasn't long before she felt his cock filling up and his speed increasing. With a shout he threw his head back and erupted down her throat. She swallowed most of his cum but some escaped her lips and began to drip down her chin. Lux pulled back and pumped him a few times rubbing her face against his shaft before he shuddered and pulled back. His eyes went wide as she wiped her chin clean and licked her fingers smacking her lips loudly.
Michael had to sit on the edge of the bed before his legs gave out, and Lux hopped up and walked across the room to pick up her jacket.
"Are you leaving?" He asked a bit embarrassed at how pitiful he sounded.
Lux just laughed and grabbed her wallet it out of her jacket pocket pulling out two condoms. She looked back at Michael, his green eyes glazed over with lust, and his chest rising and falling as his breathing returning to normal. The paleness of his skin contrasting with the black ink of his tattoos and the purple hickeys blooming on his neck. He wasn't the skinny teenager she'd remembered fumbling around in the dark.
He kicked his shoes and pants off quickly unable to stop staring. The way she was so bold and forward was incredibly sexy, and not like the girl he used to know. That girl never had the confidence to walk around stark naked in nothing but leather boots and silver jewelry. He could feel himself already starting to stir again.
Lux tossed him the condoms, "I hope you can get it up again so you can fuck me." She ran her hands up her sides to her breasts tugging her nipples while slightly swaying her hips. His eyes followed her hands across her body and she could see he was starting to get hard again. She stepped closer to him placing one leg between his, her hand reaching behind his head tugging his head back so he was looking up at her.
"Touch yourself, but keep your hands to yourself until I say so," she whispered before kissing him. Her other hand trailed doesn't his chest raising chills under her nails causing him to hum against her lips. Lux straightened up brushing her nipple against his lips which he immediately flicked his tongue across the puckered skin feeling it stiffen for him. He swirled his tongue again this time ghosting his teeth across it causing them both to whimper. She glanced down to see him slowly stroking dick which was now hard and starting to leak.
"Turn your back to the bed and put the condom on," she told him stepping back and he quickly jumped to his feet, ripping the foil open. When he turned back around Lux was on knees and elbows on the bed looking back at him, wiggling her ass in the air.
"I remember how you like it baby," she giggled using her best baby girl voice.
His smile transformed into a smirk as he got behind her on his knees teasing her entrance with the head of his cock. She tried to push back but he wouldn't let that happen riding his length against her pussy. She grunted in frustration and tried again, but he did the same thing.
"Quit playing Mikey and just fuck me," she snapped glaring at him over her shoulder.
"Patience babe, I'm enjoying the view." He smacked her ass grinning at her.
"If you don't get on with--OHHHHHH." Michael waited till mid sentence to push deep inside her in one stroke. He closed his eyes taking a second to savor the feeling before pulling almost all the way out and then drive his cock back inside her. Deep slow strokes so they felt every inch of each other, her walls welcoming and grasping his thick shaft as he hit every pleasure spot. He reached around to allow his fingers to find her clit working slow circles to match his strokes as the sounds of skin on skin and their moans filled the room.
"Harder, harder," she gasped begging him.
"What was that?" Michael wanted her to say it again.
"Fuck me harder daddy, make me cum," Lux whined, "please Mikey."
"Oh hell yeah." He smacked her ass and went harder, pounding her pussy relentlessly. His fingers rubbing her clit giving it a couple little slaps which made her squeal with delight.
"I'm so close, right there, harder dammit," she commanded, the sheets tightly balled in her fists.
He felt her body tense up and squeeze him tightly and he kept fucking her through her orgasm, as she buried her face in a pillow to contain her shreiks. He pulled out admiring and running his fingers lightly along her glistening quivering sex before lying next to her on the bed.
She rolled over so she was on her side pressed against him tracing her nails along his chest down to his happy trail for a minute while kissing his neck. When she'd recovered she slung her leg over his hips hovering above him.
She sank down on his cock digging her nails into his chest as she did making him moan out a curse. Lux threw her head back and began to grind her hips. Michael had one hand on her hip and the other snaked up to her breasts. She began to ride his dick. Bouncing and twerking while she rolled her hips and touched herself. Michael watched her through half open eyes cursing and calling out whenever she squeezed him tighter inside of her. He grabbed her hips, his fingers digging into her flesh as he fucked up into her.
"Oh fuck, oh God, I can't," Lux gasped her legs starting to shake again.
"Yes you can, cum for me again baby. Look at me when you cum," he groaned knowing his own climax was getting closer.
"No, no, no, shit, fuck." She tried to keep her eyes on him as her orgasm hit but her eyes rolled back as she began to shake. Michael grabbed her hips, sat up and pushed her onto her back hooking one arm under her knee. Her nails dug into his shoulders as his hips rutted into her chasing his own high.
"Yes baby cum for me Mikey, feels so good baby," she moaned in his ear leaving kisses on his chest.
"Lux, Lucy, baby." Michael was moaning over her. "FUCK." He slammed into her with a shout as he came hard, his orgasm coursing through his entire body. he lay on top of her trembling while she squeezed around him milking his cock. Afterwards he pulled out carefully and went into the bathroom to dispose of the condom and get her a towel.
He helped her clean up and they laid back on the bed sweaty and still panting, her head on his chest. "That was much better than I remembered," she joked.
"You were pretty amazing then too, but that was amazing," he replied kissing her hairline.
They dozed off together like that and when Michael woke up he was surprised to find Lux up and getting dressed.
"You're leaving?" He sat up and started looking for his clothes.
"Don't get up, I've gotta get up in the morning so I'm gonna go," she found her bra and pulled her dress back on. She turned her back to him, "Can you zip me up?"
He tried to sneak his hands inside her dress but she shook her head with a laugh, "Just zip it."
"At least let me get your number, we can talk or something. I'll take you out to dinner maybe," he stammered pulling his pants on.
"And then what? We become friends? Give it another go? Nah that's not gonna end well, I'm never gonna be able to forget how badly you broke my heart. I even have a Grammy on my mantle to remind me that I still kind of hate you." Lux looked almost sad but she shook it off.
"Then why did you come back with me? Was this out of spite?" Michael stared at her in disbelief.
"No, I came back with you because as much as I still kinda hate you there's part of me that still kinda loves you. I wanted a better goodbye for us. This is better." Lux kissed his cheek and turned to go before she stopped. "I also did it because I really wanted to fuck you and I'm glad I did. That was the best sex I've ever had, no regrets."
He swallowed, nodding, not willing to fight her now when he wouldn’t fight for her then.
Michael watched her walk away, their roles were reversed this time. He wondered if he'd ever see her again, or if it was the best ending they could've hoped for. He pulled out his notebook, and began to write his thoughts. He'd find her again in a song.
@spookymashton @h0tsos @toofadedtofight @kiiiimberlyriiiicker1995 @kchillout
#michael clifford#michael clifford imagine#michael clifford smut#5SOS Michael#michael 5sos#5seconds of summer#5sosfanfic#5sos#5sos fanfic#5sos smut
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I wanted to share my top 15 ways how to grow hair fast! If you implement everything I have mentioned into your routine, you will notice a difference in your hair growth! Everything I have mentioned will promote healthy hair growth.
Eat a healthy diet and exercise regularly. You need to do this in order for your body to get the required nutrients and exercising promotes blood flow to the brain which promotes hair growth.
Purchase collagen Supplements types 1&3, Fish oil supplements ideally omega 3, 6 & 9 and Vitamin B Complex. take them daily. Also purchase some Aloe Vera Juice, this can't be taken in a smoothie or in tablet form. I do take my collagen sometimes in powder form in my smoothie with the Aloe Vera Juice.
Don't use ant heated tools on your hair, it's just going to cause extra damage to the hair. Don't tie your hair back in a tight ponytail or any other hairstyles that will cause breakage. Opt for plaits or leave your hair down. Only use a wide tooth comb when brushing.
Invest in a silk Pillowcase or any pillowcase that is just a lot softer on your hair, satin is a bit cheaper. I bought a Mulberry silk Pillowcases from Amazon.
Massage your scalp regularly either with your fingers or buy a scalp massage brush.
Mix together 1-2 tablespoons of extra virgin olive oil. For every tablespoon of extra virgin olive oil use 3-4 drops of each of the following essential oils ( Rosemary, Geranium & Lavender) You can heat this up slightly in the microwave for about 40seconds. Work through your hair from roots to ends, massaging your roots for a couple of minutes. If you can leave it on overnight do so and cover with a shower cap or cling film. But you can leave it on as long as you wish. Ideally 1 hour minimum twice a week if you can. You might have to wash your hair a few times to get the oil out, but just make sure you use a shampoo that doesn't cause damage.
You can also add a few drops of the essential oils to your shampoo if you wish, but not the one you intend to use to wash the oil out with.
I have added the links to where I purchased the products from. All of mine were bought from Amazon.
100% Pure Rosemary Essential Oil 10ml, 50ml, 100ml (10ml) https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B01LCZY0WU/ref=cm_sw_r_other_apa_i_bXM5EbAJ12WZ6
freshskin beauty ltd | Lavender Essential Oil - 10ml - 100% Pure https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00BBD1A5E/ref=cm_sw_r_other_apa_i_qYM5EbW4RZQGF
100% Pure Geranium (Bourbon) Essential Oil 10ml, 50ml, 100ml (10ml) https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B01DNYHTLM/ref=cm_sw_r_other_apa_i_qZM5EbRBEPB5H
Aloe Vera Juice Max Strength - 1litre https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0013G1ROS/ref=cm_sw_r_other_apa_i_t0M5Eb91BE3D9
Youtheorytm Collagen Advanced Formula Collagen Type 1, 2 & 3 with 18 Amino Acids 390 Tablets https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B005ZZK6JU/ref=cm_sw_r_other_apa_i_M1M5EbCETSV7E
Super B-Complex - High Strength B Vitamins with folate, B6 & B12 Plus Vitamin C, 60 Tablets https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B01787EPEE/ref=cm_sw_r_other_apa_i_l3M5EbVVR84EM
Omega 3 6 & 9 Oil 1000mg, 120 Softgels. Source of Alpha-Linolenic Acid. Made in UK. https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B06Y38XX9Y/ref=cm_sw_r_other_apa_i_r7M5EbRYYFVQ6
Ruike Natural Silk Pillowcase, Hypoallergenic, 22momme, 100% Silk, 600 Yarns, Standard Size 50x75cm, with Concealed Zipper (Pink) https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B085N1DFZQ/ref=cm_sw_r_other_apa_i_s9M5EbG4E9B4H
Hair Scalp Massager Shampoo Brush, FReatech [Wet & Dry] Manual Head Scalp Massage Brush, Soft Silicone Bristles Care for the Scalp, Exfoliate and Remove Dandruff, Promote Hair Growth - Pink https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B077PQB2HC/ref=cm_sw_r_other_apa_i_oaN5EbHXG3HKX
#hair growth#hairtips#hairgrowthtips#growhair#growhairfast#hair hair hair#collagen#aloe vera#rosemary#geranium#health#beauty#beauty tips#beautyblogger#health blog#beauty blog post#nutrition
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Human Hair Extensions Online Store
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“But I’m not worried about my virginity, because I’m just a side character.”
Absolute BL AKA Zettai BL ni Naru Sekai vs Zettai BL ni Naritakunai Otoko AKA (Japan) Ep 1 dropped March 27. I found subs under A Man Who Defies The World of BL.
IT’S FUCKING HILARIOUS.
No, like, really! It’s great.
It’s Japan making fun of us, but also itself for having started this absolute dumpster fire of joy that is BL. It’s truly a thing of parody gold. Gah, it’s so good.
Basically Mob has figured out he’s a side character (extra AKA mobu) in the BL world (along with his family), so he doesn’t mind being trapped in a BL universe because he figures he’s never going to get his own story. He likes being ignored and isn’t gay.
Only then his younger brother (played by Goto Yutaro from Cherry Magic) gets a confession from his BFF. Mob realized that the BL world is trending towards the trope of “the ordinary bottom” and now he’s at risk.
Which of course means he going to turn into a tsundere uke but one that is actually totally aware of what he’s doing.
He must defy the BL world!
So he buys a ton of yaoi and starts researching all the tropes so he can avoid them. But now, he’s reading yaoi all the time. So he’s kinda into it and...
You know the drill? It’s one of those. The more he tries to avoid an inevitable future fate the more he does to bring that fate about, even hurry it along. Or does he? Maybe that’s also a play on us and him.
So this show is also joking about fandom’s propensity to fall in love with side characters, even if those characters have very little personality and screen time. Mob is trying so hard not to become the main character, but of course, we are all watching him already BE the main character. Which he also has to be aware of, because he’s talking to us about it.
It’s so meta. This glorious self aware reluctant hero trope. Breaking the 4th wall constantly, almost defiantly.
Honestly the 70s dancing intro song alone made me cry with laughter.
(Although I would have made the hair a lot worse.)
#comedy fucking gold#i love you japan#outright mockery#of me#and i LOVE it#japanese bl#parody#comedy drama#brilliant bl#asian drama#asian comedy#asian bl
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Buy Virgin Hair In UK | Virgin Hair Extensions | Dory Hair
Discover the secret to luxurious looks with Dory Hair offer's top-quality Virgin Hair Extensions in the UK, giving you flawless, natural-looking results
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