#But yeah this idea that since i'm neurotic and i had a big nose i was somehow secretly Jewish was drilled into me

[northwest-by-a-train]

Oh this is scathing

[forkanna]

[AO3 LINK] [WATTPAD] [QUOTEV]

NOTE: So... I'm just going to throw this one out there and go hide in a bomb shelter. Enjoy!

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

"Emergency!"

Honey glanced from Elsa's sandy feet to her panicked expression. "Uhhh… welcome back?"

"I don't know what to do," she hissed urgently. Kristoff, for his part, was just looking awkward because he was in boxers on the bed when his girlfriend's costar burst in unexpectedly. At least Honey was wearing a robe. "Th-this is so unexpected, and I'm freaking out, and- how do people handle situations like these? I'm completely out of my element!"

"Okay, breathe," she instructed her, laying her hands firmly on Elsa's shoulders. The ones Anna had touched - this was like a crazy fever dream. "She's here, and she wants to get to know you! Let her! It's not really that-"

"She's sitting on my bed right now! Where she's about to sleep!"

"Whoa, what? That is… quite a leap forward, girl."

Throwing up her hands helplessly, she began to initiate her favourite anxious activity: pacing. "What was I supposed to do? We have no idea what we're doing, but she doesn't have the money to get a room here - or anywhere nearby. So it's either let her use my room, or I buy her one which she would refuse, or she drives home to Arizona, and… I just…"

"Whoa, whoa, you still aren't breathing. Just… sit." Honey pointed at the corner of the bed and she sat. Kristoff edged away uncomfortably, since he had already been admonished for flirting with a lesbian once. "My fault, I thought you meant you two were…"

"Were?" Elsa grimaced when she caught up. "No. I'm a virgin, Honey; she's the first girl I've even been serious about, much less… anything physical. We hugged on the beach and I almost melted."

"Wow. Somebody found a way to melt the Ice Queen."

"Honey!"

Tittering, she swatted Elsa's shoulder. "This is a good thing! Loosen up. Take a bath with her; these whirlpool tubs are amazing." When Elsa's eyes turned into dinner plates, she rolled her eyes. "Okay, too far again. I swear you were raised by the Amish."

"I'm sure I've seen her somewhere," Kristoff was muttering. "Was she in an episode of the show?"

"Try to keep up, Kris," Honey admonished him. "She's not a celebrity; just someone Elsa knew online."

Finally, the neurotic blonde stood and pinched the bridge of her nose, trying to block out the inner storm of emotions. It began to settle. "Okay… you're right. I'm not powerless, she isn't powerless. Nothing has to happen unless we want it, and if we want it, then… then we want it. But what if I'm bad?"

Her costar laid a sympathetic hand on her shoulder. "I'm sure she'll get it. Still, if you're that worried, then set ground rules. Just tell her you're not ready. Easy."

"So you say." Then she summoned a weak smile and a "Thanks", patting her hand before turning back to the door between their rooms.

"Good luck!" Honey hissed in a stage whisper.

Then she was alone with Anna. An Anna who had already brought in her bag - which was a big, battered old backpack with a slew of patches from cartoons and video games sewn all over its surface. She was a kid. Elsa felt dirty, like she was lurking on a playground.

"Hey, welcome back," she said with a huge, beaming smile as she dug around in it. "I figured if I'm gonna sleep in this room-sized bed with another person, I should shower. I kinda panic-left and I didn't shower today, so like… I don't know why I'm telling you this."

"It's fine," she laughed quietly. Starting, she gestured toward the minifridge in the corner. "Would you like something? There's probably spring water, maybe a diet cola, or…"

Anna blinked at her for a minute. "You're nervous. Like, you know I'm nobody and you're the big star, right? So why are you nervous some dumb kid drove all the way here without you even asking?"

"Because… I'm… crazy," she finally wound up saying. "I know I'm blowing everything out of proportion. Go shower, I'll… tidy up." Then she laughed softly to herself.

"What?" Anna asked, finally pulling out some underwear and an outsize tee.

"Honey said we should take a bath together."

"Sounds like she ships us even harder than we do," she giggled. "But yeah, c'mon, let's go."

"REALLY?!" Clearing her throat, she tried again: "I m-mean, really?"

"Sure. Nothing's going to happen; trust me, water is a terrible lubricant."

After a moment of squirming, looking at Anna's unflinching gaze, she took a deep breath. "You're right. And…" Biting her lips, she finally made herself say, "You get in first. I think it's my turn to show you a little something." She would have to if this relationship was going to progress. Ill-advised as that was.

"You don't have to, man. I can tell from here that you're hot, so like, it'd just be redundant." Still, she paced toward the bathroom. "Grab your jammies and come on in whenever!"

What else could she do? Elsa did spend a few minutes pacing, worrying about the consequences, but she knew there was no resisting this decision; Anna wanted to bathe together. She was comfortable with the idea. And sooner or later, she would have to be just as comfortable, even if not with Anna specifically. So it was either live in fear, or take a small step for her own sake.

"Just one step tonight," she breathed as she grabbed her nightgown and approached the bathroom door. "If she can't handle who you are then it's better to know now. Just… step. Step again." Once she finally made it, she opened the door.

Anna had her back to her. Those gorgeous shoulders were on display, dusted with inviting freckles, slender neck hidden only partially by locks of loose red hair. Laying her clothes next to Anna's big tee, she started to strip.

"It's nice and warm," Anna promised her in a contented tone. "And like, I found this lavender stuff and put it in here - doesn't it smell amazing?"

"It does," she agreed, stomach fluttering with anxiety. It was too much to have her look now; she would wait. "Now… I know it's silly, but do you promise not to look? I'm very self-conscious about my body. The studio is still angry that I won't do swimsuit shots, either in the show or the magazines. Think I'm a prude."

As Anna covered her eyes, she laughed, "God, why do you like me? I'm not anything like that."

"Maybe that's why," she giggled as she dipped her toes in. "Oooh… oh, it's hot- AH!"

Poor Elsa. The heat surprised her just enough that combined with her nerves, she lost her footing and wound up sitting down heavily. Directly onto the worst possible place she could land.

                                       To Be Continued…