#But when you become intersexist and queerphobic about it.....

[mitathrone]

I am perplexed by the number of people in fandoms "peaking" and what not. It's so strange to see.

Especially ones that are turning to "loving hatred" by having a gentle and "welcoming" demeanor while talking about how much they despise men and calling intersex women "men," or posting nothing but vitriol against any woman they deem "a male" while swearing up and down that they're protecting women, supporting violently intersexist and misogynistic posts from right wingers, but also turning around and saying they hate right wingers and support all women... What is up with that ?

I've noticed that they also tend to have characters that are well-loved by trans people or are gender/sex variant in canon in their layouts or usernames, which is almost sinister..

[the-crystal-femmes]

[ pt: do not interact / before you interact /end pt ]

[ Disclaimer ]: Our DNI only really applies to followers and direct interactions, we don't check on things like reblogs and likes unless anything stands out to us.

Last edited 02/20/25 by Host

DO NOT INTERACT

[ pt: do not interact /end pt ]

Bigots (racists, queerphobes (includes aphobia!), TERFs, antisemitists, intersexists, ableists, etc.), fatphobes, kink / nsfw blogs (we are hypersexual), anti endos and sysmeds, identity policers of ANY kind (as long as the identity isn't problematic), rqs and transIDs, proshippers, disordered abuse believers, anti-kin, pro/neu/complex contact harmful paraphilias, SH / ED centric blogs, anti self-dx with research (this includes personality disorders and dissociative disorders), syscourse centered blogs and singlets who involve themselves in syscourse, shipcourse

THIN ICE

[ pt: thin ice /end pt ]

Misanthropists, especially those who are vocal and violent about their hatred for humans.

HEADMATES WITH DOUBLE OPINIONS

[ pt: headmates with double opinions /end pt ]

Ula; Ula is not okay with out of system doubles of Draculaura (Monster High).

Dewdrop; Dewdrop is not okay with out of system doubles of the Crystal Gem Pearl (Steven Universe), unless it is a mutual. Dewdrop is ONLY okay with mutuals who are doubles, not outsiders. This is due to zeir narcissistic personality disorder and other things.

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[ Dividers by aquazero ]

[variousqueerthings]

Asking this genuinely in good faith but: im confused about what you mean when you say sex is a construct like gender? obviously like. The social and societal expectations around sex/gender are a construct. But I dont see how actual biology is? Obviously there needs to be greater understanding of the nuances of differences in sexes, and its not a binary like how a lot of people talk about it. But the difference in chromosomes, anatomy, hormones, etc. between different sexes is real, and it’s scientifically relevant to distinguish between them when performing clinical studies etc. so i guess i just wonder if you could elaborate on what you mean exactly when you say that? Thanks!

hiya, hope all is well in wherever you are anon. EDIT: well this got long

I assume you mean the post I reblogged about acknowledging that sex is also a construct that shifts depending on the agenda of the person speaking about it

first things first, gonna acknowledge, this is not my expert topic. a big reason why I reblogged this post (and a few other similarly ones over the years, reminding me that my tagging is a mess and I need to clean that up) is my allyship for intersex people - I want to listen to what they're saying, so my first big shout-out is to read up on what intersex people are saying about their lived realities and politics

also as a recommendation I've been enjoying a lot of what @genderqueerdykes have been writing (I believe I rb'd that post from there), which is a general widespread queer intersex-gender-and-aromantic-fuckery-based positivity, that is good for my all over the place soul (also I am currently unemployed, but if someone has a bit of cash to spare there's a continuous fund to help support through homelessness at the top of that blog)

secondly to second, I agree with you --it is important to be able to distinguish various characteristics in human bodies (for example, say, the ability to give birth, let's go with a big one there, not everyone can do that one) so that we can effectively support people medically, do important clinical studies, and also, for sure, speak about elements of bodies that are gatekept, monitored, denied agency, and otherwise become elements of a society that is white supremacist, colonialist, patriarchal, ableist, queerphobic, transphobic and -- returning to aforementioned under-discussed elephant in the room -- intersexist

so to clarify on the idea of the post you're referring to, whilst also going into why I've just listed out some of the violating institutions of our society, the way we decide what defines sex, is changeable, and comes from our cultural norms, it's 100% what you said "The social and societal expectations around sex/gender are a construct" <- you're very much understanding the post with this sentence

take sports. sports is currently one of the biggest spaces we're seeing this out in the open. the notion of what defines a Woman (sex-and/or-gender-malleable-depending-on-the-speakers-agenda) is changeable depending on skin colour, country of origin, "masculine" features (also white supremacist in function, who can forget that tweet where three cis non-white women were "called out" for being trans women -- I've seen similar many times), being intersex (whether or not the person knew about it beforehand, and in Caster Semenya's case, she was tricked into giving up that information, so that's a big non-consensual medical violation amongst all the others), and of course, the patriarchal idea that women just must be weaker all the time, and if they won't be it on their own dime, then we'll change the rules and force/coerce them to do things to their bodies that they did not consent to. gender roles enforcing sex as social construct

I note that since the 20s and all through today, women have had to undergo various humiliating checks to "prove" that they were real enough women to play sports. which coincidentally is what people have been saying girls are risking having to do now in America if things continue the way they have been

as a sidenote, I was watching a neat little documentary interviewing various trans people in sports called "Game On, Queer Disruptions in Sport," which included a story by a Bulgarian ex-rower who back in the day was ousted from professional rowing for being tested positive as intersex. in their story they talked about how actually over half the team were, but it was only because they told their coach and it became public that it was a problem. where does sex end and gender begin in all of this? whose agenda does it prop up when not talking about something "allows" some people to be women and others not to be (to be clear, they no longer ID as a woman, but if memory serves as intersex as their gender so that adds a whole nother dimension, but boy oh boy this is getting long)

sex -- in the sense that people are born with different chromosomes, levels of hormones, developmental Stuff that hijinks how those hormones interact with the body, and a million other facets that affect what we call sexual characteristics -- is real, in the same way that height differences are real (here's a video by philosophytube, which from memory is very trans-skewed, which, understandable, she was going head-on with the terfs and transphobes at the time, but I do think less overall on intersex people -- but yeah, she did the height example there, I'm borrowing it)

how we decide to enforce gender through sex, what sex counts as Enough to be allowed access to [insert gender], what sexual characteristics are allowed without censure and/or other forms of violation of body and (you guessed it) how that overlaps with ideas about gendered characteristics, how we create the gender roles based on our assumptions about sex, and then how we enforce those gender roles onto sexual characteristics like a depressing game of ping-pong, in which each reinforces the rights of the other part of the "argument" to say "well, we need to constantly remain vigilant in order for the world to be neatly divided into two, easily distinguishable categories, otherwise Chaos will ensue! how can we know what a Man and a Woman is if it's not clear cut somehow!" (deep breath)

we're.... sort of on the path of going "well alright non-binary is a thing, as long as we assert that this is purely Gender, the Thing Going On In Your Head Ya Weirdos, perhaps we can just about allow something that's a catch-all third gender type thing in a few countries (although, notably to meeeee, not in the UK)," but we haven't yet truly begun to deal with the fact that whatever is going on with the human body is so much more complicated than that and people are absolutely suffering because of this

and the more one thinks about the sheer rabbit hole of this reality, the more one realises just how damaging we're being, first and foremost to intersex people, and then spiralling, hitting every bigoted institution branch in the book on the way down, because well, okay, gender we'll juuust about accept can be fluid and changeable, but we'll not actually... interact with how bodies are fluid and changeable, because of genes, geography, medical intervention, illness, or idk, a hundred things I havent thought about

so in conclusion: how do we decide to define sex-and-gender? what is our agenda with discussing sex/when we bring it up in our politics (and I mean this not just as a hypothetical for frothing at the mouth rightwing bastards, us, who I believe to be well-meaning, too)? is it to end surgery on intersex babies, is it to make sure transmasc people can access pregnancy support, is it to allow girls and women (any and all girls and women) access to healthy outlets in sports, etcetcetc? is it to be able to more effectively discuss the ways bigoted institutions interact with one another to enforce their ideas onto bodies? or is it to rigidly enforce the divide and insist that while we'll allow the gender thing (again, just about, with caveats, heavy disclaimers, etc) there are two sexes, and never shall the twain intersect, interact, overlap, or indeed have anything to do with gender, for they are immutable objective realities that are not at all affected by our politics and ideals...

it's a sad, unsexy state of affairs

I hope this gave a little introductionary Thing and curiosity to poke at it further. potentially somewhere where someone has much more detail on the actual Philosophy of all of this, because I'd think that's cool, and also for this is like. pokes here pokes there, and also can you tell I'm actually jock from the focus I decided to take there? no? whew still in the closet on that one

[cautions-cottontail]

↠hello there! (an introduction to this blog)↞

↠ i am cosmo, an eastern cottontail rabbit and i will mostly talk about my rabbithood here

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[wordiestwyrm]

random fuckin' musings of a mildly deranged collection of lil guys

i feel like most people need to,,, become okay, a lot more okay than we are (including myself in that. tho tbh we have somewhat gotten good at this) with being kind of shit at being a social person.

and i don't mean just- okay at being awkward, or okay with being anxious, or kinda weird. i mean, okay at being harmful. okay with the fact their actions, on a long enough timescale, WILL probably upset someone for Legitamate Reasons. okay with being kind of an ass sometimes.

and i know. doesn't that- sound like a pass to just be a piece of shit, to you?

not really. in fact, i would say this is what could help a lot of people correct and learn from the shitty behaviour they're already doing. to recognise 'shitty/harmful behaviour' is not just a Thing isolated to any class of person, not a thing that pegs you as uniquely Evil or leaves a permanent moral mark.

'cause like,,, to my mind, a lot of people are so Focused on not being The Bad Thing, they refuse to listen when they participate in The Bad Actions- because i'm not a racist, because i'm not ableist, because i'm not queerphobic, because i'm not intersexist- we're all, just, constantly, consistently, in a worldwide competition to be the least problematic bitch in town.

and that's just the broad, societal shits, that don't necessarily mean much on a personal scale for many of the people being bitches about them.

(venty rant starts under the cut lmaooo we were trying to make a broad statement about all people and then realised. oop babes this is just your own miserable life)

and sure! sure, the main example of people who proclaim their various misdeeds are people who don't think of them as misdeeds at all, and that must be a scary thought- to turn into someone like that. but,,, from my observation, including in my personal life, the people who Refuse to see any action they have taken as Bad, the people who start to go off about their good intentions or are too focused on being good, on doing good and being a good person and so on and so forth, are typically the most insufferable when they harm me.

and i feel kind of insane, in my personal life, because by GOD do i feel harmed, and it's so confusing when the person who harmed you starts to either go off about how hard they have been trying (with a subtle flavour of 'you're not being grateful enough' running as constant aftertaste), or start to get insanely self-depricating, to imply they just can't do better,,, or both.

where 'goodness' is the only resource that matters, where it is only valuable when it is 'pure', no fucking progress can be done, is my point. and we've been untangling all this for years, and i think i know why, every time we meet a new person as of late, with a bit of due time, we get disappointed that they aren't really like us beyond surface level.

because anecdotally, in our lives, no one takes the time to dig through their own brain cupboards to check for red flags.

And it's exhausting, constantly rummaging the chests and barrels of our psyche to find how things we do could be harmful- yes, to a maladaptive degree, i never said we were a paragon of mental health. It is exhausting, when that effort isn't met with barebones reciprocation. It makes me go balls to wall banana pudding, when I make an effort, again and again, to say 'this doesn't define you, you can change, I won't hold it against you' to every last person who hurts me, who says my pain isn't real, who pushes me, who doesn't seem to see me as an individual, when I bring up harmful things we have done, over and over and over, when I constantly have to be the one apologising and catching mistakes and noticing shitty patterns, and the people around me won't even help me break them.

(like bitch, i get ur drowning in ur own guilt, but please, for the love of god, assert urself when we get caught in a loop of angry ramblin' for the thousandth time this week??? i keep sayin', we have hairthin triggers, we really struggle to shut up once we start goin' off, bein' told to stop will make us stop, we learned that lesson, fucks sake why do i have to do everythin' around here-)

and- and it's our fault, innit. it's our fuckin fault for not bein able to essplain well enough, for not bein over it enough, for reinforcin these patterns with our fuckin, therapist-friend mode, for thinkin sooo highly of ourselves, for puttin ourselves repeatedly in positions of power over others, but FUCK, when we try to treat ppl like equals we always go too fast an haveta Catch It, when we treat 'em like an authority we real quick go into Programmed Inferior space, an yes, we are traumatised, we are toxic as fuck, we have no experience with bein equal to no one-

ough. well, maybe we used to. ideologically, we dont think we are Inherently Better or Inherently Worse than anyone else, as much as we can keep that balance. we do feel, deeply, like we are prolly a worse person socially speakin than many of the people that hurt us, cause we often cannot be polite an genuine at the same time, 'cause we,,, fuck

truth is, it does feel like trauma gave us superpowers. all our close friends have, for almost a year now, been tellin' us we're scary perceptive. tellin' us, we always know what to say to make it better, directly an indirectly.

truth is, hearin 'always try to do ur best' sounds like a fuckin order to skin ourselves alive no matter the 'depending on where you are physically and mentally :3' stipulations, 'cause i bet if there was good enough cause, we physically could.

truth is, it feels like we are a mile ahead in trauma recovery, an we are drownin in a lake no one else has gotten to yet.

truth is, i keep wishin this wasn't true, that we could get help, that it was easy, to find someone who will be more- or at least around- as perceptive as us, who will care, who will be genuinely interested in the thins we do an impressed by the thins we make, who will love us an guide us an, just, be good instead of actively harmful. truth is, such a person would likely have to be a famed trauma therapist who takes a million for a session, or else a find so lucky i frankly dont think 'needle in a haystack' covers it.

truth is, it aint that i cant imagine ever bein happy, if we were friends with someone too much like us.

its that, when i try, the pain of the impossible becomes too much to bear too fuckin quickly, an the guilt of seein myself as so fuckin above everyone else smothers any leftover comfort.

this is why, of late, our go-to phrases became 'don't let perfect being the enemy of good' and 'i hope someone kills me with rocks.' if you even care

[the-crystal-femmes]

BEFORE YOU INTERACT / DO NOT INTERACT

// pt: before you interact / do not interact //

Disclaimer: our dni only usually applies to follows and direct interactions, however we do hold the right to block liberally :>

DNI:

// pt: dni //

Bigots (racists, queerphobes (includes aphobia!), antisemitists, intersexists, ableists, etc.), fatphobes, kink / nsfw blogs (we are hypersexual), anti endos and sysmeds, identity policers of ANY kind (as long as the identity isn't problematic), rqs and transIDs, proshippers, disordered abuse believers, anti-kin, pro/neu/complex contact harmful paraphilias, SH / ED centric blogs, anti self-dx with research, syscourse centered blogs and singlets who involve themselves in syscourse

Dni Explained (link)

Thin ice:

People who censor filter tags, those who refuse to translate typing quirks

Dnfi (do not follow if) your blog is centered around the omegaverse / misceverse, or a yandere blog. We're very uncomfortable with those types of things.

We are a median parasian traumagenic system. We believe we could have Partial Dissociative Identity Disorder however were still doing research. We don't support fakeclaimers and syscourse around here, our blog is endo safe and we don't believe singlets belong in syscourse. We're also fictive heavy, mainly Monster High and Steven Universe. We block anyone who uses anti endo tags on sight unless we're aware they aren't going to be a threat to us (mainly mutuals).

Some of us are in a polycule so please keep that in mind lol. I (Yellow Pearl) am mostly vocal about it

Our collective identities (non-alterhuman) are lesbian, and aromantic. Genders vary from sysmate to sysmate but the host (Yellow Pearl) is a nonbinary neogirl. Please don't call me a girl, I still consider that misgendering 👍

We are bodily intersex but only I (Yellow Pearl) and Pearl are label ourselves as such.

Our username is a joke on how most of us are Steven Universe fictionfolk as well as femme lesbians! We are NOT terfs, terfs can back the fuck off

We are bodily physically alterhuman, we are an anthropomorphic bat who's real form is hidden under a 'veil'.

We prefer not being mutuals with anyone who can't handle what we post about, or our mental stuff. We tend to a vent a lot, and we have an organization tag that can be filtered if it becomes too much. We also don't want to be mutuals with anyone who thinks they can't handle Ula.

If you have a problem with our behavior, we'd prefer you shoot us an ask or a DM. We'll get to ya when we can. We also ask you remain civil while doing so. (Edit: asks only as we made DMs a mutual only thing due to the fact people would DM us for stupid shit.)

Our co-host, Ula, is very uncomfortable with doubles of Draculaura. This is due to her narcissistic personality disorder. We understand that it may not be a choice, but we ask that others respect Ula's boundaries. Ula has exceptions but those are very rare. You're still free to interact but we request caution exercised around her.

Some of us are very controlling about how our fictionselves are portrayed, please keep that in mind! We are usually lax around other fictionfolk, though.

We are NOT anti kink. However one of our sysmates is hypersexual. We ask mutuals kindly to filter tag any kinky things for that reason.

Pearl and Ula don't tend to use tone tags, so please ask for clarification on their tone if it's needed! We're unsure why they don't use them.

The only ones who tend to sign off are Pearl and I (Yellow Pearl). If you need clarification on who's talking, please ask!

We have npd. We've done all the research we could and refuse to get professionally diagnosed. We're not in any financial state to get diagnosed and fear being discriminated against.

We try our best to stay out of discourse but we may end up posting about it at times. These things will be tagged with "#cw discourse" or "#tw discourse".

[ dividers by @/adornedwithlight ]