#But we've been struggling with money recently so he really can't afford it

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for debating hiring outside help for my husband and I's house because we can't keep up alone?

For context: My (26 Fae ftm) husband (28M) live very happy and healthily together. While I'm unable to medically transition due to a bunch of reasons we'll get to, he has been nothing but a solid rock in my life and the one person that has always been on my side. Through dragging me out of an abusive household to helping me with my chronic illness, he's been an absolute angel despite dressing like the devil himself (he's goth). So I don't want any hate on him.

He is ADHD and I'm Autistic. Yes, hello, we are that couple~♡ This does cause us some issues tho as he is unmedicated and I'm just struggling in general with sensory issues for certain chores. So far we keep each other some what afloat, having him do chores that my sensory issues can't handle and my doing ones he can't focus through.

However, as previously mentioned I'm chronically ill. I won't get into many details but it's basically I'm internally bleeding at random intervals. And before people think I'm talking about just my period, no it's so bad that I have once had to go to the ER for a blood transfusion due to this internal bleeding and had times when I was bleeding for over 4 months straight.

My husband and I because of this condition are pretty much struggling financially. I can work but it makes me extremely fatigued since I'm essentially working with constant Anemia. It gets bad enough some days that he can't wake me up without over an hour of effort, even after I've slept 10hrs. The fatigue is REALLY bad. He works just as much as I do, sometimes more because his work is so shortstaffed and he likes to pick up extra shifts to try and save up for the surgery that would hopefully fix everything.

This has culminated though in us both being extremely exhausted near 24/7 for the last year-ish but we have finally hit a break. I recently got a huge pay increase (nearly $200 a week increase) so we are hopeful for the first time in months. We're starting to pay down my extreme medical debt and being able to just go get dinner when he doesn't want to cook.

Here's where I may be kind of TA... Despite this hope, my condition recently did get worse. I've now gone another 3 months still bleeding and having to suffer my Anemia symptoms and medication. This has caused me to fall massively behind on what should be my chores, and while my husband doesn't begrudge me it, it has caused our home to start becoming very, very unhygienic. As someone who grew up with a clean freak mother, it kinda upsets me. He's focusing more and more on me and less on the house so even his chores are falling behind too.

None of that is his fault. He loves me so much he wants to help Me first but it has gotten to where we are both going "we really need to clean the house..." but neither of us have enough battery to do so. Me becuz of my condition and he becuz he's stuck caring for me.

We have enough that we might be able to afford to hire a cleaning service to help us out, but it would cost us some of the freedom and paying down medical bills. I think it'd only be a temporary thing, once I recover from my current episode, we can probably get better... but I don't know how long it will be.

On top of this I'm worried paying for this service will further put off my surgery as we struggle to save up for it again... We've already had to tap into that savings cuz my current episode lost me 2 days at work.

Is it unfair for me to ask to use our new extra money for essentially my not wanting to have to bother doing basic chores? I know I'm tired but I've lived with it so long I could and should probably just push through.

What are these acronyms?

[serahlink]

❗❗HELP A HOMELESS ARTIST FEED AND HOUSE HIS FAMILY ❗❗

emergency commissions open!!

Reblogs are greatly appreciated!

Remaking this post since times have gotten tougher than normal and we need the extra help. Hi, my name is Link and my family and I (younger sibling and father) have been homeless since November 2021. It's a long story but a very shortened version is that my father used to do freight hauling work across the country and would sometimes take me and my sibling along (I lived at a friend's home and my sibling lived with a family member). In the middle of a job, my father fell into a diabetic coma and ended up losing his job in the process. Due to no family support and my sibling having to leave the place they were staying, they were both homeless. At the same time, I was having to leave soon myself since my friend's grandmother fell very ill and things looked bad; they had a lot of things to take care of and I was told I had to find somewhere else.

So, my friend I was living with drove us to the lowest cost motel they could find after I opened my commissions for the first time and we were on our own(none of us could work since my dad lost his liscenese during all the chaos, we also dont have our documents or ids and trying to get something now is impossible without a car and we never have room to just save money since we need to both have somewhere to stay and something to eat). We've been doing so ever since.

We already struggle alot with paying for the room daily (most of the time we're having to stay up all night/morning just to have the room paid that day) and nowadays we can barely afford food to last us a week, let alone a couple days. My father also recently dealt with bad tremor episodes due to his blood sugar going high, causing the left side of his body to turn numb and he couldn't control it. We were able to get most of his medications except for insulin (which turned out to be over 400$) and he's recently run out, so if something happens then there's not alot we can do. We've been trying to save up for it but it's been difficult to have a place to live or eat this week, let alone make even a bit of the cost for the insulin. It's alot of things to try and take care of for someone who has little to no resources/family or friend support 🥲

So, I'm opening my commissions to hopefully get us something to pay for at least today with since we dont even have enough to be good for right now and we also need some food for tonight since that's our immediate need. If you're interested in getting a commission, you can look at my prices below and email me (lyriumveins__@outlook.com) or pm me here. Or if you have questions about my services, you can also ask me those! I'll be happy to answer them for you :)

If you can't support financially (please don't feel bad if you can't btw, I understand completely) reblogging would help us out immensely since itd open up new opportunities for us to feed ourselves or house ourselves another day. Thank you for your help if you do, it really means the most to us and makes a big happy difference in our lives, thank you for brightening it :)) 💚

~Prices~

Sketch (price depending on type of sketch) - base price of 10$

Sketch page - 10$ per sketch

Headshot - 20$ (+10$ if shaded)

Bust - 30$ (+10$ if shaded)

Half body - 45$ (+10$ if shaded)

Full body - 60$ (+10$ if shaded)

Couples Commission (a commission that includes two people) - 80$ (+15$ if shaded)

Group commissions (commission that includes more than two people, price dependant on the details) - 100$+ (30$+ if shaded) 

Paintings (price depending on the details) - 100$+ 

[vynnyal]

Oh, yeah-- this is my art blog, not my hk blog