#But this is genuinely my favorite thing I've ever written so I'm re-posting it again

[steddie-island]

Don't go where I can't follow

Rating: E | WC: 992 | CW: Choking, angst with a happy ending, under-negotiated kink, some blood/gore (this takes place after Watergate so Steve is hurt) Written for Kinktober last year, for the prompt 'choking'. See full list of tags on ao3.

They were alive. 

They almost weren’t, but then they were, and Steve needed… something. “Fuck.”  

It was easier than it should have been to get away from the others. It was easy to lie and say they needed to look at the extent of their wounds, that they could take care of each other, and yeah, Nancy and Robin should go check the kids. 

“Fuck, Steve. Are you sure?”Eddie had never done this. He’d never done anything beyond an awkward handjob with someone who didn’t have enough money for their weed. This wasn’t that. This was Steve Harrington, King of Hawkins High, looking desperate and wrecked as Eddie worked a hand over their cocks. Steve’s eyes were wide and wet. There was dried blood on his face, his neck, blood seeped through his bandages and into Eddie's vest. He fucking hurt, ached everywhere, but they could worry about that later. 

A pink tongue darted out to wet dry lips and then Steve was nodding. They both smelled like lake water and mud and sulfur and none of that mattered because goddammit they were alive.

“Please.”

Even being alone the way they were, it was better, safer, to whisper. Moans were hidden with teeth in swollen lips and behind hands that still had mud in the lines of their knuckles. Steve wanted– needed– more than that, though. 

He could still feel the tail of the goddamn demobat, digging in, cutting him, pressing rough against his throat. The skin was still angry and red and raw but still he pulled Eddie’s hand up to cover the red line. In another life they could talk safewords and technique and Steve would worry more about kissing the terror out of Eddie’s eyes. He couldn’t quite do it when he knew Eddie’s terror was just being reflected back at him. "Do it. Please.”

So Eddie did. He slotted their legs together more firmly to help hold Steve’s weight against the rock, then his thumb and fingers were squeezing. It was gentle at first, too fucking gentle. Steve covered Eddie’s fingers and squeezed tighter. The cut against his throat ached and stung where Eddie touched it but that just added to the sensation. “Harder. Please– ” Eddie obliged again, tightened both the hand around their dicks and the fingers around Steve’s throat. He’d read about this at least, knew the basics before Steve had asked for this. Still, seeing Steve’s eyes rolling back into his head, hearing his breathing slow, slow, before he wasn’t making any sounds at all. 

It made Eddie’s fucking chest ache, but he didn’t stop. He twisted his hand against their cocks, gathered precome against his palm to keep slicking the way for his hand. 

Just when he was ready to loosen his grip– he’d been counting, knew that he needed to be careful or there would be damage and wouldn’t that just be the fucking kicker on top of the giant shit heap, Eddie Munson surviving monsters only to have to destroy himself because he’d snuffed out this golden boy. Just as his fingers began to ease up, Steve went stiff, choked out a sound as he came hard over their hands and his own shirt and their cocks and fuck if that didn’t have Eddie coming, too. He muffled the sound in Steve’s neck and rolled towards his fist, working them both through their orgasms. 

It wasn’t until Eddie was finished coming that he realized Steve was crying.

“Hey. Hey, honey. Shhh, Stevie, did I hurt you?” Eddie’s hands were even gentler now as he tipped Steve’s face up. “Honey, did I hurt you?” His lips followed the path of Steve’s tears before kissing his mouth lightly. “Talk to me, sweetheart. Please.” “I needed you to,” Steve choked out. He brought Eddie’s fingers to the line that he figured would scar over later. “I needed this to be from you, and not– not from them.” 

Eddie got it, then. He understood why he’d been dragged out here to skull rock, why Steve had kissed him hard, why a hand had disappeared into his pants before the rest of his mind could even process the fact that his pants had been opened. He tilted Steve’s head back and trailed feather soft kisses over the demobat wound. “I’m gonna take care of you, okay?” Steve, still crying quietly, just nodded. 

So Eddie took them back to Steve’s house. He stripped them both out of their lakewater clothes, got them into the shower, whispered promises of how he was going to take care of Steve as he washed away all of the blood and grime. By the time they were clean Steve had stopped crying. The trembling calmed as he watched nimble fingers re-clean and re-bandage his wounds like Eddie had done this a million times. It started up again when those chapped lips kissed each of the new bandages. 

“I’m sorry we don’t have more time.” They had to get back to the others. They had an apocalypse to avert, after all. “If we did…” “I know.” And he did know. He could see an alternate future where they did have all the time in the world, where their first time hadn’t been against a rock in the middle of the woods but in Steve’s bed– or maybe Eddie’s bed, or on his couch. The where didn’t matter. Eddie mattered. Eddie wanting to take care of him mattered. Steve leaned in, kissed Eddie gently, just once. 

They dressed. And it was back to the fight. 

—

Later, as Steve hauled Eddie on his back out of the Upside Down, he was the one whispering promises. He didn’t stop making those promises on the ambulance ride to the hospital, or as he sat by Eddie’s bed, begging and praying for him to wake up. 

He didn’t stop making them until Eddie’s eyes were open, and Steve realized that maybe they did have more time after all. 

[violetasteracademic]

So, while I am a passionate Elriel and my experience is only further cemented with each new detail on every re-read, I have still stated since day one that I still love Lucien and Gwyn! My first ever Tumblr post was a dissertation on Lucien for goodness sake!

And this is where I struggle. I don't personally lurk in anti posts, but they make their way to my eyeballs anyways. And my problem is that myself, and many Elriel's I know, still love all the characters and honor and fully believe they will have their own stories, potentially their own POVs in future books or at the very least play a large role in ACOTAR or the multiverse.

But the a/ti Elriel's, from what I've seen, are almost ALWAYS a/ti Elain. I won't bother going over the comments I get on tiktok from E/ucien shippers that claim they like Elain. They erase her. They misunderstand her. They minimize her. They sideline her. They invent villain storylines. And still ship her with their favorite male character? Just because they want *him* to have his mate. And Azriel is apparently bio hazard waste in all areas of life EXCEPT if he decides to go after Gwyn. Whereas I like Azriel as he is, and I like who he currently wants to be with.

The author, I am certain, also likes these characters. She wrote them. It's difficult to believe her intention was for the fans to turn on Azriel just because a reveal many of us saw coming (that he is down bad for Elain) happened.

I don't have to erase Gwyn from the narrative, or distort her interactions with Azriel, minimize Gwyn's importance, create a shitty personality for her or invent a new storyline to make Elriel make sense.

I don't have to erase Lucien from the narrative, distort his interactions with Elain, call him toxic, minimize his importance, or invent a new storyline for Elriel to make sense.

I personally can't wait to see what Lucien and Gwyn are going to bring to the story. But by and large, I mostly see Gwyn as being a sidekick to Azriel and Nesta instead of the lead of her own story or Elain as a sidekick to the Band of Exiles instead of the lead of her own story for G/ynriel and E/ucien theories to come together. Beyond that, I'd love to look into their stories more, but I'm tired of assaulting my eyeballs with all the toxic sludge about pelvises and pure hatred from Elain festering in those spaces.

So I'll say it again and I'll say it a million times, just because Azriel and Elain want each other and not Lucien and Gwyn does NOT mean I think Lucien and Gwyn are trash. I just want the characters who want each other to be together. If it were written differently, I would feel differently. And if antis would at least address that Azriel and Elain WANT each other instead of trying to explain away their behavior and invent false intentions and narratives, I'd have a lot more fun reading and exploring their theories.

I'm an Elain girl first and foremost. And I want her to have what she wants. As of right now, today, waking up in Prythian, that is Azriel. That is the only thing on page. Anything else is speculation or theorizing. Azriel and Elain wanting each other is not a theory. It's real. Erasing it is not only bizarre, but makes any statement coming after it really not credible.

I ship a ton of non canon couples in other fandoms. Many of them never came to pass. It's just for fun. But because the hatred for Elain is so visceral, and the desire to erase her character from existence is so real, these ships are not fun. And I genuinely wish they were.

The awful bullying and atrocious behavior and weird hatred for the books and characters in this fandom gets me down some days. Sorry for the wallowing. Love you all 😘

[justreckin]

20 questions for fic writers

alright @emonydeborah said hey there's a thing and i say yes (ages later)

1. How many works do you have on Ao3? 6

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count? 28,070

3. What fandoms do you write for? Honestly, whatever's catching my fancy in that moment. Of the things I've posted, The Librarians is the only fandom that I've ever even posted more than one fic for.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Raising Harry (Harry Potter/Underworld) Where Selene comes across Harry playing at the park alone at night and decides that the best idea is to sorta adopt him.

Never Say He Isn't Grateful (Agent Carter/Captain America) Howard realizes he owes Peggy big time and the best way for him to repay her is to go rescue Steve.

5 Times Ezekiel Called Eve Mum and the Time They Made it Official (The Librarians) 5+1 what it says on the tin.

Second Time Around (Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.) Coulson went in on the Bahrain mission, May died. Oneshot re-write of the first episode that I considered expanding and have actually written other chapters for but... 🤷‍♀️

How Apep got Ezekiel Grounded for the Rest of his Natural Life (The Librarians) Season 3 Finale in the same universe as the previous Librarians fic that has a second chapter I have yet to write...

5. Do you respond to comments? I certainly try to. I'm not the best at it, but I love getting to have a conversation with anyone who likes the same things I do.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Heh probably I'm Not Your Mother but even then it's a) not really all that angsty and b) mostly that I dropped a mean bomb on characters and then ran away because I have no idea what else to do with it.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? ...everything else? Look, canon is already regularly very mean to characters. I am here to live in my happy little fantasies where everything works out.

8. Do you get hate on fics? Not hate per se but I'd left up an unfinished multi-chapter fic at one point and someone commented that I was the reason they'd lost faith in authors with unfinished works and is maybe more responsible for me not posting any of the myriad of things I have on my computer than I want to admit.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Nah. I write more family than relationship stuff, really.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? Yes. Uh... it's not posted, but maybe the Harry Potter/Song of the Lioness that I hashed out at one point.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Don't think so.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?  Don't think so.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Ha! @emonydeborah and I spitball all the time (it's wonderful) and she absolutely gets credit if that parent trap fic ever gets finished, but I don't think I'm up to the group project that would be co-writting a fic.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship? the Enterprise NCC-1701 dash nothing! All jokes aside, it genuinely is the only ship I go back to on a regular basis.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? Uh... honestly, I don't know that I'll ever finish half the things in my WIP folder.

16. What are your writing strengths? Probably dialogue. I feel I'm pretty good at getting the character's literal voice down.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? Anything happening around the dialogue. In my head these people are always moving around and doing things, but it always feels so clunky if I try to put that onto a page.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? Maybe an individual word or two for a curse or endearment. I know enough Spanish I'd probably be comfortable writing in it. But that'd be about it.

19. First fandom you wrote for? Uh.... Star Trek? One sec, must check files. Yeah, pretty sure it was a short TOS thing. Hmm might need to take a look at that again, clean it up, repost...

20. Favorite fic you’ve written? Posted? Probably Ezekiel calling Eve mum. Not posted? Nah, actually, don't know that there is one that's not posted.

.... @the-redhead-in-a-dress and @sun-lit-roses did you do it yet, did you do it? I wanna see 😁

[fieldsofview]

20 Questions (for fanfic writers)

I got tagged by the absolutely lovely @sarah-sandwich Thank you!!

1. how many works do you have on ao3?

17 :)

2. what's your total ao3 word count?

157,867 (2/3 of that is SMH hahaha)

3. what fandoms do you write for?

atm all my WIPs and upcoming fic ideas are Spidey related, but I used to write a lot for MLB and OL:BA (and A:TLA back on ffn in hs but we don't talk about the dark ages hahaha)

4. top five fics by kudos:

Under The Moonlight - OL:BA smutty oneshot of what should have happened after the charity ball scene 😳

Crushtomer - MLB coffee shop AU one-shot with Barista!Adrien and Overworked Uni Student!Marinette (heavily inspired by my barista days in College, when I was writing this) ☕

King Agreste - a MLB AU oneshot inspired by the Grimm fairy tale Allerleirauh "all-kinds-of-fur" 🏰

You Said You Loved Me - an MLB kwami swap identity reveal wip i never finished and probably never will sorry 😬

Spider-Man: Homesickness - My take on what the MCU Spidey's life could be like 5 years post: No Way Home and his journey into letting people back into his life and not being so alone (My CURRENT BABY and WIP that I'm ALMOST DONE WITH - it's so fucking long alskdhasasjdkhksdjhfkfh my hope is that it ends up in the no. 1 spot someday when it's complete) 🕸️

5. do you respond to comments?

So I didn't always, but nowadays I try really hard to respond to every comment thread at least, even if I don't always have the last comment on the thread. I really REALLY appreciate each and every comment and I actually often re-read them when I'm feeling insecure in my writing (is that cringe? maybe lol but it's true)

6. what is the fic your wrote with the angstiest ending?

Definitely The Beauty of Green. 268-word OL: BA drabble that smacks you out of nowhere in the last two sentences. I never write things that short anymore but it just worked

7. what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

A lot of my one-shots back when I was writing for MLB like 5 years ago have happy endings. I prefer more *complicated* endings now, but a genuinely happy ending can be nice too. May I present Drops in a Pond for consideration though? Not traditionally fluffy or sweet, but I like to think it's a soft and hopeful kind of ending.

8. do you get hate on fics?

I haven't yet. I think I'm too small of a creator to get hate lol

9. do you write smut?

I've posted one smut fic before, Under the Moonlight, listed above. It's my top-rated fic so I guess I know a little of what I'm doing. OH and my side-wip I'm working on when SMH is too angsty for me is all fluff and kinky Parkner smut and I'm so excited to post that someday when SMH is fully out and done.

10. craziest crossover:

I haven't written any crossovers, unless you count pulling from marvel canon across different adaptations to make SMH (it's got Gwen and Harry and Miles even though they're not in the MCU 19999 as of now). But I used to write a lot of aus

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don't think so

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

No, but I would be so honored if someone did! I once had a full conversation in the comments with someone in another language by using Google Translate and that was fun!

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

I think my writing process would be a little too unconventional to co-write with someone unless we were trading chapters and perspectives. I go back and edit my drafts a lot as I move forward and I would be too tempted to edit their writing too, which feels mean...

14. all time favorite ship?

I LITERALLY CAN NOT PICK DO NOT DO THIS TO ME!!!!! I will be a multi-shipper until the day I die, in basically every fandom.

15. what's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I have an idea for a series of long fics making an MCU HS AU inspired by Degrassi, but I think it would be just too many hours and too many words that I won't ever commit to. I love a good HS AU every now and again, but I feel like a lot of people (across fandoms with hs aus tbh) write the characters as if they already have a lot of the canon quirks the characters have as adults. I would want to write them truly as their HS selves, acting like real teenagers and all the dumb shit teens do, as the reader follows along on the journey of their growing up.

16. what are your writing strengths?

I think I really like detail and trying to portray a level of reality with the characters, even in more fantastical settings. I want the character's choices and motivations to be both complex and clear to the reader, even when they're making choices that the reader disagrees with. I also think this is a skill that is more and more prevalent in my recent writing, so my earlier MLB stuff doesn't have as much of it. My OLBA stuff and now my Spidey stuff though? Yeah.

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

Staying motivated to finish WIPS. (This is something I've improved a lot on though and at this point, barring some kind of life-or-death calamity in my life, I will absolutely be finishing SMH. I'm literally 120k of a predicted 150k words deep and going strong sooo).

OH ALSO comedy! I'm so bad at writing funny characters and making them actually say things that are both funny and make sense. Sucks when writing Spidey cause he can be such a little shit with his sarcastic comments and each dialogue point takes me 3-5 business weeks to come up with.

18. thoughts on dialogue in another language?

I do it very rarely and only when it feels 100% necessary. I had a small bit in Spanish in ch 6 of SMH because Jeff and Rio were literally talking about Peter right in front of him and he could hear the words they were saying, even if he didn't understand them. But it was very brief.

I did it because the POV character literally didn't understand it, so it made sense to have it written out. In fics where the POV character understands what's being said, I prefer it all be written in the fic's primary language, for reader ease.

19. first fandom you wrote in?

A:TLA, like I said. That was back in the dark ages of my Junior Year of HS on my old ffn account that will never see the light of day again hahaha

20. favorite fic you've written?

Every current WIP has always been my favorite because that is what I'm thinking about. So SMH is definitely my current fave. It's my baby and I've put literally hundreds of hours into it (I keep a spreadsheet lol, it's nearly 150 hours of sheer writing, not including the early days of brainstorming and outlining.)

HOWEVER, back in the day, I was really proud of writing Answer Me and it's literally my lowest-rated fic, but I was such a fan of the genre and the Night Circus inspiration. Plus, I love Alya as a character and it was really fun to write from her perspective.

OH, and I'm still proud of Under the Moonlight because it taught me that my acespec ass can write smut and is also good at it, lol. I just have to write smut that's rooted in ~*~feelings~*~ and also has an element of humanism and imperfection. Which is the type of vibe I'm putting into my side-wip rn.

Thanks for tagging me, Sarah!

no pressure tagging: @seek--rest, @abcd-em, @missamyshay, @pbpsbff

[welcometololaland]

Binged Read "living at the centre of would...." tonight, and i am in tears, I just love love your writing so damn much Lola 🫶🏼 You grip on Characters and their Characterization is so strong. I have read every single of your Lone star fics till date. You are my Favorite author!! I have specially made a tumblr account to reach out to the beautiful writers of this fandom and appreciate them and let you'll know that you all matter so very much to us!!!

Can't wait to read what more beautiful things you put for us, i m specifically so intrested in ALTA ( just genuine excitement and want to share the Excitement , no pressure, please take your time,m very patient lmao)

Never Understood Grief so wonderfully and truthfully before!

Thank You <3

(ALTA SNIPPET BELOW CUT)

Thank you so much! The honeymoon fic was difficult for me to write (because I don't often write angst), but it was also incredibly cathartic. I think it helped me process a lot of my own feelings about season 4 episodes 17 and 18, and also made me think deeper about Carlos in particular and his state of mind in these episodes.

I feel honoured to know you have read so many of my stories! I hope they brought you joy <3 I think it's awesome you made a tumblr account to tell people that you like their work!

ALTA is finished, but it is in beta-phase. I'm not sure when it will be ready but I'm hoping to post ch 1 soon(ish). This fic has been so fiddly and difficult, I don't think I've EVER spent so much time nitpicking. I've re-written and re-worked the chapters so many times it's insane. Never write a mystery, guys. It's HARD lol. Here, have a snippet (it's unbeta-d, don't judge me).

Summer Break, June 2015

“Carlos,” TK sighs, sliding himself into the passenger seat of Carlos’ car, jiggling the ancient manual windows to wind them down, allowing fresh air in. Carlos knows he’s going to have to get a better car one day – he can’t keep driving around in something that has no AC in the middle of Texas – but he’s also a broke student and his father isn’t a movie star. Not that he’ll be reminding TK of that, lest he turn up to TK’s house one day and find himself presented with a brand new Range Rover.

Although, given recent events, he’s never going to be able to set foot in TK’s house again.

“Carlos,” TK repeats with a little huff, leaning back against the seat as Carlos backs out of Owen’s driveway. “Why are you so mad? It’s not like this is the first time this has happened—”

“TK,” Carlos exclaims, one hand tapping the steering wheel in exasperation. “Your dad walked in and we were—”

“My dad has walked in on us loads of times,” TK argues. “He has no sense of privacy, you know that.”

“Yes, but—”

“One time he caught me practically giving you a blowjob, remember?” TK interjects. “I think it was the first time you met him, actually—”

“TK!” Carlos practically cries. “How are you not more concerned about the fact that your dad walked in while you were riding me?”

TK shrugs. “I don’t know,” he replies, infuriatingly calm. “We’re adults and adults have sex, right? I don’t think anyone in the Strand household is under any illusions as to why the pool house was out of bounds for six months straight.”

Carlos has a sudden urge to take a random left hand turn and drive them into another state. He’s not sure he can bear to be in the same timezone as Owen Strand, knowing that he’s seen them in such a compromising position. On second thoughts, Carlos wishes he could drive to Antarctica.

“Seriously, baby,” TK says, holding his palm up on the centre console, begging for Carlos’ touch. “It’s going to be okay. I bet my dad won’t even say anything. I mean, he might make an awkward joke about it but trust me, he doesn’t care.”

Carlos blows out a breath. “I don’t know,” he replies with uncertainty. “I’m beginning to think we should move out.”

Out of his peripherals, he can see TK practically bounce in the passenger seat. “Some place other than your college dorm?” he asks. “Carlos, that would be—”

“I’m not serious,” Carlos interjects, then feels terrible about it when he looks across at TK’s face and sees it fall. “Wait, hang on, I didn’t mean—”

TK retracts his hand and brings it to his face, covering his mouth as he turns to look out of the passenger-side window. 

“TK,” Carlos calls, sighing as he pulls over to the kerb and throws the car into park. “TK, look at me.”

TK turns back slowly, a sad frown etched into his features. “I get it,” he says, a little despondently. “I mean, I’d be terrible to live with. I know you think I’m spoiled and I don’t know how to do anything, and I do hate chores but I’d do them if it meant I got to live with you.”

“I don’t think any of those things,” Carlos says softly, reaching across the space between them to rest his palm on TK’s leg. “Sweetheart, I’d love nothing more than to live with you—”

“I do hate chores,” TK admits. “Come on, that part is true.”

“Okay,” Carlos concedes, allowing his lips to curl into a smile as he watches TK’s do the same. “If we’re being honest, you suck at chores. But I’m sure you could get good at them, with practice.”

“Maybe,” TK says, wrinkling his nose. “I hear you’re a pretty good teacher.”

“I am,” Carlos replies seriously, leaning halfway across the console to kiss the tip of TK’s nose and then his lips. “I want to live with you, TK,” he says. “I just can’t afford that right now. Plus, we’re young. Maybe it’s a good idea to wait until we finish college at least.”

“And give my dad more opportunities to walk in on us?” TK asks, arching an eyebrow. “Your funeral, Reyes.”

Carlos shrugs, trying to school his expression. “Oh no, that’s not happening,” he says smoothly. “We just can’t have sex at your place anymore.”

“What are you suggesting?” TK scoffs. “That we have sex in your dorm room? Because Darren is gonna have to get real cool with some stuff pretty quickly…”

Carlos shakes his head. “I was thinking more like abstinence.”

TK chokes. “Abst— No, Carlos. Abstinence does not work when your boyfriend looks like this.” He flourishes his hands in Carlos’ direction, motioning to the entire top half of his body.

“Was thinking we could wait until marriage,” Carlos teases, turning the ignition back on as TK squawks. 

“Okay,” he says, “I guess we’re getting married tomorrow.”

“Not legal yet,” Carlos points out. “Guess we’ll have to wait a while.”

[hollow-dweller]

20 Questions (for fanfic writers)

tagged by @abcd-em, thank you beloved <3

1. how many works do you have on ao3?

26!

2. what's your total ao3 word count?

134,413

3. what fandoms do you write for?

mostly spidey and pilgrimage, but i dabble in other fandoms--mostly voltron, which i had thought i had escaped the sucking quicksand of but alas seems not to be the case

4. top five fics by kudos?

all the wonders i have seen (i will see a second time)

leave the rest to the gods

Unconscionable

when darkness comes upon you

sew your fortunes on a string

5. do you respond to comments?

i try to! transparently, i sometimes get overwhelmed and while i love receiving comments and re-read every single one a million times, i do sometimes have a hard time actually responding. i cherish every single one but also my brain was cursed by the gods.

6. what is the fic your wrote with the angstiest ending?

probably my pilgrimage fic, everything's growing in our garden. it's very rare that i write for vibes but phoebe bridgers' Punisher had me in a chokehold and that is definitely reflected in that fic, short as it is. it's my most "closure denied" ending, that i've posted anyway, and i think that ups the angst factor.

7. what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

pilgrimage fandom gets the top spot here too, with love sent to me. it's probably the most straightforward romance/get-together fic i've written, and AU to boot, which are both anomalies for me. but i have a great deal of affection for that fic, and i love the tenderness of it.

8. do you get hate on fics?

the closest i get in spidey is generally people being demanding about updates, which i usually just delete. there is one particular troll in pilgrimage who crops up every once in awhile to leave "hate" comments on various peoples' fics, and i've been hit with that a couple times, but that's just a pathetic person wanting attention so it doesn't really count.

other than that, i really have the best commentariat anyone could ask for.

9. do you write smut?

yes! i firmly believe erotica is an important tool for examining characters and their relationships

10. craziest crossover:

i don't write crossovers exactly, so i'll cop out and point to the spidey/twilight fusion au since it is crossover-adjacent

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

not to my knowledge! and hopefully i never will

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

again not to my knowledge! there are few things i would find more flattering

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

alas, no. i love the prospect of it, and have gotten to the outlining/ideating stage with a few people in the past, but again i'll be fully transparent in that i'm not the most reliable person to attempt that kind of project with. maybe someday, and i'm definitely open to it!

but also: it's me, hi! i'm the problem, it's me.

14. all time favorite ship?

i'm a libra with adhd, asking me to choose a favourite is a hate crime.

from the lens of fannish engagement or creation, which to me is different but not unrelated to loving/shipping a couple as it is represented/written in the text, it's probably any combination of Ned/MJ/Peter, either platonic or romantic. i love an OT3, i love frenship, i LOVE where NWH left us and the possibilities we can explore with their relationships to one another.

15. what's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

if i truly doubt a wip will get finished, i don't post it. everything i've posted is something i fully intend to finish, i just can never say when that might happen. i can't predict the future obviously, so maybe that'll change, but i re-read my posted works relatively frequently and have a genuine desire to see them all complete at some point. even the ones that i reread and can see how my writing has since improved, or think i could have executed better, i still have love for and interest in. if i didn't, i'd delete.

16 & 17. what are your writing strengths and weaknesses?

combining these two because my writing strength is a reflection of my writing weakness: i'm very good at elaborating on ideas, not so much on coming up with them whole cloth. what i mean by that is i'm most comfortable, as a writer, coming up with creative and even novel divergences from canon, and making the corresponding changes in characters and plot that would result from those divergences. i'm good at the "what if" of fic.

the converse is that i'm not great at speculation, of figuring out "what happens next". so much of my post-NWH stuff, for example, is about exploring potential emotional and relationship-based realities, but doesn't have "plot" in the sense of being developments of the story of Peter Parker as i imagine it might happen in the MCU. even fics like we said our dreams will carry us, which i bill as a kind of post-beyond the spiderverse speculation fic, doesn't actually deal with the nitty-gritty of what i think might happen in the next movie. how things actually happen in this imagined version of beyond the spiderverse is secondary to the emotional fallout of those events, and that's what i'm writing about.

both these flow from my primary analytical strength/weakness: i am great at interpretive analysis, and fucking terrible at predictive analysis.

18. thoughts on dialogue in another language?

it is. incredibly difficult to get right. i studied languages and translation in university, and i still hesitate to write dialogue in other languages into my fics. it's not just a matter of getting the language itself right. that in and of itself is difficult, but anecdotally speaking i find that most native speakers of a language who read fic are incredibly kind and polite when making corrections to the language.

what takes me out of a fic is the manner in which other languages are integrated, and how very poorly that is usually done. "oh sorry it's hard to switch back" has become a meme, but a lot of the use of languages other than English, when written by non-native speakers of the languages in question, read as just that clunky and incredibly disconnected from how polyglots actually speak and switch between languages.

having said all that, language is an INCREDIBLY important part of culture, which makes it an equally important part of the characters who speak--or whose families speak--other languages. as someone in spider-man fandom, Miles' Puerto Rican heritage and both his and Rio's relationships to that heritage and the spanish language are important elements of his character. when i write Miles, and especially Miles & Rio, it's important to me that that is incorporated. like anything, it takes research, and thoughtfulness, and humility--try your best, and be ready to be corrected if you get it wrong.

19. first fandom you wrote in?

harry potter (derogatory), back when i was a wee skelly

20. favorite fic you've written?

i once again point to the libra with adhd of it all, and then direct you to my favourites series on ao3

Tagging: @weezly14 @mysterycyclone @saltwaterpanda @gooddaygalaxy @ambivalentcats @shrinkthisviolet @anarchyduck and anyone else who wants to!

[terrathetulpa]

Right now it's 1:20am as I start writing this post. I (we) have not slept at normal times in what feels like weeks. We've been having trouble getting to sleep at night so we've been staying up later and later. Trying to go to bed earlier usually means tossing and turning in bed, sometimes just getting back up and going back to being awake, and on a few special occasions lying in bed tiredly for an entire night without ever actually sleeping.

We used to sleep really well. Once upon a time it was easy to lie down at 11:00pm and go to sleep- Easier than staying up! But somewhere along the way it became so much easier to stay up that we stopped sleeping deliberately at all. Lately we've just been staying awake until we're so exhausted that we literally can't do anything else. Because when we do that going to bed means we will actually sleep! Which is a much better feeling.

I thought eventually this would mean our schedule normalizes somewhere, and even if it were at odd hours we would sleep and wake at the same times every day. That did not happen. I've gone to bed and woken up at different times every day for at least an entire week. Today we slept until 4pm after going to bed at 7am.

I wouldn't even care if it weren't for the fact that I woke up with a terrible headache this "morning" and this pattern is causing the singlets to worry about us. They haven't done anything about it but I guess it makes sense to worry that we're "sleeping the day away." So I though "Alright, I need to put it back to normal and sleep at night again."

But umm... how?

Come to think of it this is multiple problems. It's plural like me. It's undoubtedly bad for us to be sleeping this way, being asleep during normal business hours inhibits our ongoing job search, and I haven't written in my dream journal since this non-sense started.

Ya know what sucks! We learned how to lucid dream and it's amazing! We learned it ages ago, you can do anything in a lucid dream! You can fly and teleport and bend the world to your will! I love vivid dreams! I love dreams that cause me to wake up full of emotion! Excitement! Joy! Even terror! Like bad dreams are scary but no dreams is soooo BORING! Do you like horror movies? Are you enjoying Halloween? (October is Halloween.) Imagine if you were a lucid dreamer! You could be terrorized in a way that is so specific to your exact psyche, the exact fears you hold brought to life in full form. Life-like in front of you as though it were all really happening! All from the comfort and safety of your bed!

That sounds cooler than a haunted house to me.

But my favorites are the dream girls. Every once in a while, on my luckiest and happiest of nights, I dream I'm dating someone. I dream of a girl, usually she's short with brown hair. In flowing white dresses, or hoodies. They're almost always dressed in white. We go on a date! We go get food somewhere, and stare into each other's eyes, and we talk about each other's lives. Sometimes we kiss! Sometimes we do things that are impossible! One took me out roof-hopping!

Talking about it and thinking about it is making me miss it. Maybe that's what I need. The desire, the motivation to sleep well and to wake up and put effort into my dream journal again. We've been writing in that thing for as long as I've existed! It'd be a shame to stop now right? At one point I read an article about sleep and I feel like it genuinely helped to follow the advice it gave. I don't remember that advice anymore though.

What about you readers? Got any good sleep advice for a sleepless anime girl?

You know, after proofreading this and re-reading that bit about the dream girls I absolutely HAVE to do something about this now. We're going to try the mayonnaise website- maybe they know somethin'. (Leaving it here if anyone else wants it) https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/insomnia/in-depth/insomnia-treatment/art-20046677

[ashxketchum]

✨ + 🎁 + 🍬 for fanfic writer ask game

OMG thank you for the message anon, I was literally about to head to sleep thinking I won't get anything 🥹

✨️ Out of the comments you’ve received on your fics, what are two or three of your favorites?

I have a few that I always look back on when I'm feeling down:

On Koisuru in 2020: "I think what I love the most about this story is how you see the characters experience change, they vacillate between this incredible maturity and all the uneasiness and insecurity of being a teenager. It's a gorgeous contradiction that rings true to growing up."

Again on Koisuru in 2020: "I just wamt to say I love this. Its so sweet and whimsical? Maybe not the right word but it makes me want to believe in true love."

On One Hundred Tales in 2022: " This was truly truly amazing! Perfect and best proposal ever. I really mean it. The circumstances, the timing, the moments, it was all just so priceless, incomparable to anything! Perfect scene, out of dreams!"He knew that her life could become better without him in it, but his was better because she was in it." These words just touched me. When he said that he accepts he's selfish and wants her all by himself, it genuinely had me thinking that Tyson could 4eally say this if he really proposed! Hilary's joys were so priceless too! It was like a beautiful dream!"

🎁 Have a piece of a WIP you want to share?

One consistent thing about me is that I always have a piece of WIP to share, this is from No Strings Attached, a Taiora fic I don't really plan on posting online anymore but I still keep adding words to it when I feel like it:

Sora curled up her fists around the hem of her skirt as she tried to calm her racing heartbeat. It had been much easier to claim that she would spill her guts to Taichi when the adrenaline from seeing their strings connect had taken over her, but now standing on the roof with him, with nowhere to hide or run to, she could only feel anxious by the second. It wasn’t just about what Taichi would think once she told him the truth, but rather how unsure she was about what she should say. She had promised to tell him all of the truth, but in doing so she was afraid of revealing a side of herself that she had never shown to anyone, and what she dreaded even more was whether Taichi would accept this side of hers or not. 

🍬 Do you write for multiple fandoms? If yes, what is your favorite fic of yours for each fandom?

Yes I do write for multiple fandoms! It's hard to pick a favourite though 🫣

For Digimon: I'm enjoying writing the murder mystery a lot currently but Koisuru is the OG banger and it will always be my favourite I suppose.

For Beyblade: I've written a crazy amount of oneshots but the ones I like the best are: Part 1 + Part 2 - a TyHil proposal fic that is loosely set in the canon timeline. At the risk of sounding narcissistic, I re-read this so often 😭

For Pokeani: Momentary, someone on tumblr left a really nice review on it and I was so happy to see my idea resonate with at least one person!

For other Animanga: (yes I did write One Piece and Bleach fanfics too 😭) Despicable Guidance, a high school AU comedy fic where Gin is a REALLY BAD guidance counsellor and causes trouble for everyone at the school. Idk where I lost my sense of humour which led to this fic being abandoned, but sometimes I re-read it and it's really funny at the beginning! It's GinRan (obvs) with Hitsugaya as their adoptive son hehe, with some IchiRuki and TatsuRen (friend's otp at the time) thrown in for fun.

[ Fanfic Writer Ask Game ]

[ltleflrt]

Because I regard you essentially as royalty in terms of Destiel fic, can you maybe give us a basic rundown on how to write a fic? Or a detailed one, if you want. Like, what is your process? How do you plan it out? How/when do you pick a title? Because I've tried before to write multi-chapter fics and I just end up giving up on it because I either took too long between updates because ya know life and forgot things or because I didn't plan enough and no longer know what I'm doing.

Hold on hold on hold on...

*walks away for a minute and muppet flails*

Okay, I’m back, and thank you for the sweet compliment! :D

So, my process; I have one!  I didn’t used to think so, because it felt chaotic and without form, but as I’ve started helping other people with their writing I’ve started to see a pattern in how I come up with stories and make them happen.

Obviously the first step is the The Idea.  I get them from all over the place.  I’m a daydreamer, so sometimes they just pop up out of the blue, and in a lot of cases they’re inspired by some other media.  A book, a fic, a movie, a song... I think that’s pretty common.  I also have a tendency of looking at my favorite tropes (and I mean REALLY LOOKING, by consuming any and all of it I can find lol) and thinking to myself, “how can I flip that upside down?”.  

Kiss the Baker was the result of reading all the Gay Panic Dean fics I could find and reading them until I started wondering if there would ever be a universe where Dean didn’t have a gay panic.  

The idea for Satin and Sawdust came from the fact that I’ve written two fics tagged “Dean Thinks He’s Heterosexual” and it made me wonder why I never see any Gay Panic Castiel fics.  

Anyway, ideas come from all over.  And they’re fleeting, so I write them all down.  I have a huge list.  Whenever one of those AU lists comes around on my dash I copy my favorites into my list.  It’s very long lol.  Which is good, because sometimes I’ll come up with an idea like “I want to see Cas be the one who thinks he’s het this time” and get stuck.  Like wtf do I do next?

Answer: I refer back to The List.  Because sometimes I can pick out several of those ideas and smush them together.  I took Carpenter!Dean, and Dean Loves Wearing Panties from the list, and scrolled down until I found Veterinarian AU, and I start trying to connect the dots.

Remember in writing classes in Jr High and High School we were taught to make those bubble charts?  You write something in a bubble, and then branch off bubbles around it?  I do that in my head.  I start making things connect.  I cross out things that won’t fit.  I have a special file for whatever story idea I’m working on and it looks vaguely like an outline because it’s that list of ideas with notes for ideas, or snippets of conversation.  If I chat about it with my friends (almost always @jupiterjames) I’ll copy/paste those conversations into that file.  I’ll list songs... anything that gives me a feel for what’s starting to form.  If I have any title ideas they’ll go in there too.

Speaking of titles, THEY’RE HARD.  I hate them.  Occasionally something will pop in my head before I even start working on the fic, and I swear that angels sing when that happens.  But for the most part I have to brainstorm and brainstorm, and get advise from friends, and I google quotes about themes I think my story will encompass.  It’s a struggle.  My least favorite part of the writing process next to connecting large plot points lol.  But I’ve gotta have a title before I post it, so I’ll have something by the time I’m done with the first chapter.  

Just for funsies, here’s my notes file for Satin and Sawdust.

Anywho, that’s all the developing stuff.  I don’t actually go into the notes file all that much afterwards.  When I have big gaps between chapters I will, plus I’ll re-read everything I’ve written already.  But I hold quite a bit of that junk in my head. If you’re having problems remembering, make the file!  Visit it often!

Believe it or not, at this point, the story is still pretty nebulous.  I’ll usually have several directions the story can take at different junctions, and I don’t think too hard about them until I get there.  I think about my stories in more detail a chapter at a time.  I focus on a single scene, or the small group of scenes that are related enough to put in a single chapter.  I zero in on those details and forget about what’s going to come afterwards.  

Breaking down the larger idea into smaller chunks is the only way I can work myself through a 100k+ beast without going mad.  And honestly, I still drive myself a little crazy.  I have to stop looking at the big picture, or I’ll give up just because the idea is too overwhelming.

Once I’ve got a chapter done, then I take a few days and I start considering the cloudy visions in my head and pluck out the scene I think needs to come next.  It usually takes me 2-4 days of contemplation before I’m ready to sit down and make words happen again.  Writing a 4k-8k chapter takes me 2-3 days.  So between the contemplation break and the actual writing, I take about a week.  

Life definitely gets in the way sometimes.  When I was in the middle of Addicted To You, I had reconstructive surgery on my face.  I was doped up on super strong pain meds and couldn’t wear my glasses for almost a month.  So obviously I took some time off, and I was SO MISERABLE (seriously, don’t break your face, it’s the worst) that I couldn’t even think about the story, much less writing.  When I felt well enough to get back to it I re-read what I had already twice, plus went over my notes file, plus I listened to all the dirty sex songs I could find to get my mind back into the groove for it.  It felt like doing homework, but it was the only way I could remember wtf I was doing.  I’m sure I lost some of my initial plans, but that’s normal with any story I work on.  And it turned out okay lol

And last of all, find someone who’ll let you ramble at them about your stories.  Someone who will genuinely pay attention, not just nod and smile.  I did a lot of writing on my own, but a lot of my Dragon Age and Mass Effect fics wouldn’t exist without @hot-elf being my sounding board and cheerleader.  And same goes for my Supernatural fics and @jupiterjames.  I would probably have written just a tiny fraction of my stories if it weren’t for them.  Chatting about my stories helps me develop my ideas, and keeps me motivated.  When I’m stressed I’ll send a chapter to JJ with just a request to Validate Me! and she always knows how to talk me out of my angst.  I will talk out my ideas with other people as well, but they’ve been the biggest influences on my writing, so THANKS LADIES I LOVE YOU! 

Writing Buddies Are The Best.  

Anyway, that’s about all I have to say about my process.  I hope it answered all your questions and gave you some ideas on how to work on your own stuff.  And if you ever have an idea you want to talk about, feel free to send me chat messages :D