#But there's no point dwelling on should-have could-have would-have.

[vilevenom]

It's so nice to finally be able to release this into the world! Work, migraines and socializing made it take longer than it probably should have to finish. I hope everyone enjoys this incredibly self-indulgent, slice of life fluff fest ❤️ I do want to quickly note, though, that I've never played SA2. I did read a synopsis and did a bunch of research, though, so I hope nothing is too glaringly wrong? P.S - The final word count for this is over 28K. If you'd prefer, I'll be posting this in chapters on AO3 for easier reading. The link for my AO3 in in my pinned post.

Return to Innocence

Fandom: Sonic the Hedgehog (video games)

Pairing: Sonic/Shadow Warning(s): Description of injury

Summary: Watching Shadow fall from the ARK sat heavy on Sonic's heart. It was his greatest failure and regret to date. He'd thought he'd have to live with that regret for the rest of his life. It would seem that fate had other plans.

Sonic sighed as he trudged through the deluge of rain on his way back home after visiting with Amy. Tails had insisted he go out, despite the rain, since he'd apparently been 'moping around' since they made it back to Mobius from the ARK. He'd said that a visit to Amy should help perk Sonic up, since he usually found her bubbly personality refreshing and sweet.

It did not.

Ever since they'd returned home, when not otherwise preoccupied by the disaster of the week, Sonic couldn't help but let his mind drift back to the last few moments he'd spent in his super form those handful of months ago. He replayed the scene in his mind ad nauseum, substituting every action imaginable to try and think of some way the outcome could have been different. However, and as unfortunate as it was, without Shadow's sacrifice there would have been no way for them to push the ARK out of its crash course with the planet. That didn't stop Sonic from wondering what would have happened if he'd just reached out a moment sooner, though. If he had managed to grab Shadow's hand instead of his inhibitor ring, then maybe they could have both made it back home.

When Amy had managed to pry his thoughts from him (after much bribing with cake) she told him that there was little to no point in dwelling on the past, since there was no way for him to change it. She'd told him that he should do as he promised, and carry Shadow's memory with him, honor it, and do his best to move on. Sonic admitted that, despite Shadow brushing away his reaching hand, he couldn't help but feel like it hadn't been what Shadow had wanted, but what he thought he deserved after everything he'd done. Amy had sighed, filled his tea cup up with something overpoweringly floral, and told him that there was no way for him to know, since, once again, he could not change the past.

Her words did very little to dissuade his mind from plucking at the painful memories and replaying them on repeat.

Once Sonic felt that he'd spent enough time at Amy's to get Tails off his case for a good few days, he bid the pink hedgehog farewell and made his way out into the rain. She'd offered Sonic an umbrella, but he'd opted to stick to the vibrant yellow rain coat that Tails had forced onto him before he'd left, stating that he found the sensation of rain in his quills refreshing. Truthfully, it was more that he was hoping that the feeling of the water cascading through his quills and seeping into his fur would help to wash away the sticky feeling of guilt he carried with him for not trying harder to save Shadow.

His mind was so caught up in swirling thoughts of self-loathing that he very much almost missed the cloaked figure of a Mobian standing in his front yard, staring up into the sky as though it held the answers of the universe. He paused when he finally registered that someone was outside of his house, frowning slightly through the rain at them.

"Hey!" Sonic called, stepping forward, "You okay?" An ear twitch was Sonic's only real indication that the other had heard him, prompting him to continue forward, his hand outstretch towards the other's shoulder. "Hey, man. C'mon, my little brother is inside and you're gonna freak him out if you keep standing in the rain like this."

Sonic's hand didn't manage to make contact before the Mobian was turning, a flash of familiar red quills causing Sonic to freeze as though he had come face to face with a specter.

"…Shadow?" he whispered in disbelief, tears welling in his eyes as he let out a loud whoop, throwing his arms into the air, before wrapping them around Shadow in a fierce hug. "You're alive!" He pushed the dark hedgehog back by the shoulders, "Wait, how did you survive?" He blinked a couple of time before shaking his head and yanking the other back into a hug, "Oh, man, it doesn't even matter! This is so way past cool!" He let out a hysterical little laugh, a bit amazed that Shadow hadn't shoved him away by now, but couldn't bring himself to care much. The guilt and remorse that had been swirling inside him for months now would finally stop.

"I'm sorry," Shadow murmured, catching Sonic off guard with how soft his voice sounded, "But…do I know you?"

That made Sonic reel back, holding Shadow at arms length. "I-…C'mon, Shads," Sonic snorted, crooked grin working its way across his muzzle, "It's not like you to joke."

"I'm afraid I'm not joking," Shadow stated with a short shake of his head, "My apologies, since it does seem that you know who I am. But…I'm afraid I can't recall who you are."

Sonic let his arms drop, his head shaking slightly as he took a short step back. "It-it's me! Sonic? Fastest thing alive? The blue blur?" he gestured at himself, striking a little pose. When Shadow simply shook his head again with a small shrug, Sonic sighed and let his shoulders drop. "The faker?" he offered flatly, arching an eyebrow at the other. When he was still met with a blank stare he sighed, moving to loop his arm around Shadow's elbow. "You know what? It's probably the yellow rain coat. Very off brand for me. Let's just get you inside and dried off, and maybe seeing me in all my unobstructed glory will jog your memory."

"Alright," Shadow said tentatively, allowing Sonic to drag him into the house.

Once inside, Sonic helped Shadow take off his cloak, hanging it up next to his jacket, before he kicked off his shoes and rushed off to fetch towels from the bathroom. When he returned, he found Shadow standing exactly where he'd left him, dripping water onto the rug in the entryway and looking rather confused. Sonic snorted quietly, offering Shadow a towel and nodding towards the living room.

"Take your shoes off and come inside. I promise not to bite," he joked, grin only widening at the slightly alarmed look Shadow shot him.

"I haven't been invited inside someone's home before, t my knowledge. Should I be wary of being bitten by others?" the hybrid asked, carefully rubbing the towel into his quills as he toed his shoes off.

"What? No," Sonic chuckled, waving a hand at Shadow, "It's just a joke. Man, you really were grown in a tube, weren't you?"

"…Was I?"

That gave Sonic pause, stopping to stare at Shadow who was staring right back with a perplexed look of his own. "Do you really not remember?" Shadow shook his head for the third time in what felt like as many minutes, and Sonic had to take a moment to truly take stock of the situation. Up until they were saving the planet, Shadow had been harsh, brash, confident, and violent. He'd been stilted in nearly every interaction he'd had with Sonic, and although he couldn't say for certain, he had a funny feeling that there would have been no way that Shadow would have let anyone touch him, let alone embrace him. But the Shadow now standing in front of him? He'd let Sonic hug him, drag him into his home, was calm and polite, and had just kicked off his skates without a thought when Sonic told him to. "This might be a more serious situation than I thought," he muttered to himself, turning his head to shout into the house, "TAILS!"

"Who or what is a Tails?" Shadow intoned quietly behind Sonic as a racket exploded from the direction of the garage and footsteps quickly approached the living room.

"I didn't break anything this time!" Tails called back as his footsteps approached. He appeared in the doorway of the living room, soot smeared across his cheek. "What's up?" he asked, the grin that had been on his face when he'd appeared slipping away upon seeing Shadow stood in their living room. "Shadow?!"

"Hmm. It would seem that found my way to the right place," Shadow commented idly, draping his borrowed towel around his neck.

"Where…How?!" Tails asked, turning to Sonic even as he gestured wildly at the hybrid.

"Your guess is as good as mine, little bro," Sonic offered with a shrug, "But I think something happened when he fell from orbit. He says he doesn't remember who I am, and he's acting…different."

"Different how?"

"Just…I mean, he's standing in our living room, calmly drying himself off with one of our towels. I would think that'd be a big enough indication that he's a bit off," Sonic snorted, cocking his hip and folding his arms over his chest.

"I mean…That could just be how he acts when he's not being brainwashed by a mad scientist, you know," Tails scoffed, mirroring Sonic's posture.

"…'He' is standing right here, you know. And is, quite frankly, finding this conversation a bit concerning."

At the quiet comment, both Sonic and Tails turned to Shadow with twin looks of apology on their faces.

"Sorry, Shads. Didn't mean to talk about you like you weren't here," Sonic offered, clapping his hands together with a wince.

"Yeah. Uhm, sorry about that. I just…okay. We'll approach this scientifically," Tails added, placing his hands on his hips, "So…We'll start with some simple questions. What do you remember?"

Shadow hummed quietly, shuffling his feet slightly. "Well…I remember the feeling of falling…and then not much? I think someone was carrying me? After that, the next thing I can recall is…walking."

"Walking? That's it?" Tails asked with a frown, tilting his head slightly.

"A lot of walking, yes. I've been walking for some time. And, I know this may sound somewhat odd, but something was compelling me to come here," Shadow finished, looking between the fox kit and Sonic.

"Huh," Tails stated bluntly, while Sonic just stared at Shadow with an odd look on his face. "That's….well, it is weird. But, maybe you feeling a compulsion to come here has something to do with the Chaos Emeralds? After all, if your last memory is falling before walking here, that was just after you and Sonic used the Chaos Emeralds to go super and save the planet. I think we'll need to talk to Knuckles about this."

"Save the planet…? Are we heroes?" Shadow murmured, seemingly mostly talking to himself, though Sonic did offer him a lopsided grin and a short nod.

"We sure are, Shads! Averted a whole global crisis," Sonic said happily, glancing quickly out the front window at the rain still pouring outside. "And if we do wanna go see Knuckles, we're gonna have to wait until after this storm passes. There's no way we're taking the Tornado out in this."

"Mmm, true," Tails sighed, tapping at his chin. "Well…in the meantime, then, Shadow?" The dark hedgehog tipped his head to show he was listening, "Do you mind coming with me to the garage? My work station is out there, and I have some equipment I can use to see if maybe your memory loss is due to hitting your head."

A short battery of basic tests later, with Sonic standing to the side and anxiously tapping his foot, offered the predicted results that Shadow had hit his head hard enough to cause memory loss. There didn't seem to be any other lasting damage, however, which was a bit of a relief to the three Mobians huddled around Tails' computer screen.

"So…what does this mean for me? In regards to my memory, that is," Shadow asked once Tails had read his findings off from the screen.

"Well," Tails hummed, rocking back in his chair, "Honestly, it's really hard to say. Brain trauma is funny that way. They could come back on their own over time, or they may never come back at all. Only time will tell. It is kind of weird, though, since your files indicted you had advanced healing abilities. I'm sort of surprised something like a bump on the head would lead to this, with that in mind."

"That's not overly reassuring, if I'm being honest," Shadow sighed, rubbing at the bridge of his nose.

"Hey, it's okay, Shads," Sonic said, stepping up to place a comforting hand on the hybrid's shoulder, "You can stay here as long as you need while we try to figure everything out. We'll help you."

"We will?"

"Well, I will," Sonic snorted, kicking Tails' chair so it rolled across the garage floor, earning a peel of laughter from the fox kit.

"Thank you, Sonic," Shadow breathed, placing his hand over Sonic's on his shoulder and offering the blue hedgehog a small smile, "I appreciate it."

Sonic couldn't help but be somewhat dumbfounded at the appearance of the smile on Shadows face, catching himself after a moment of staring and tearing his eyes away to watch Tails jump off his chair and push it back towards his desk. "Y-yeah! Sure, of course! Anytime." He cleared his throat after a moment, finally taking note of the clock on Tails' computer. "Oh, hey, why don't we go make some dinner?"

"Promise not to burn the kitchen down?" Tails quipped with a grin, dodging Sonic's half-hearted kick with a laugh.

"I can certainly help," Shadow offered, pausing for a moment as he rose from his seat, "Not in burning the kitchen down, but with cooking."

"Look at this guy," Sonic chuckled, wrapping an arm around Shadow's shoulders and directing him towards the door into the house, "He's got jokes!"

"I wasn't joking?"

"That makes it even funnier, Shads."

The two walked back into the house, a quiet, thoughtful hum leaving Shadow after a moment. "Why do you call me that?"

"Huh?" Sonic replied rather eloquently, turning his head slightly as they walked into the kitchen, "Call you what?"

"Shads."

"Oh! Uh…it's a nickname."

"A nickname?"

"Yeah. A shortened version of your name? I started calling you that pretty shortly after we first met," Sonic explained, picking dishes and utensils out of cupboards and drawers to start making pizza - one of the few foods he could manage without destroying the kitchen.

"I see," Shadow hummed, watching Sonic intently, "Do you have one?"

"A nickname? Not really. A few monikers that the press like to use, but my name is already pretty short, y'know? There's not much you can really do with 'Sonic'," he replied with an easy shrug, setting a canister of flour on the counter, "Why?"

"Just curiosity, I suppose. It's odd. I can remember basic things, like the alphabet, basic math, things like that. But, other concepts that seem rather straight forward, like 'nicknames' I don't have any recollection of. Is that strange?"

Sonic hummed in thought for a moment, measuring flour into a bowl, along with a handful of other dry ingredients. "I mean…No, I don't think so? As I gathered, you were born and raised on a spaceship, so I'm sure there are loads of things that you weren't taught because of that."

"A spaceship?" Shadow echoed, his ears perking forward in interest as Sonic passed him the bowl of ingredients, along with a spoon.

"Yeah," Sonic chuckled, pouring water into the bowl and quickly instructing Shadow to mix everything together, "Though, I guess less of a spaceship, and more of a space station? You can still see it sometimes, at night. Y'know…admittedly, we didn't know each other for very long before everything sort of went sideways, so I don't know a whole lot, but I can fill you in on the handful of information I do have?"

"Please!"

Sonic laughed lightly at Shadow's enthusiasm, dumping a can of tomato paste into a bowl, followed by a jar of sauce and a variety of spices. He racked his brain for all of the information that Rouge had dug up during and after the events on the ARK. "Okay. Well, like I said, you were born on a space station. It was called Space Colony ARK, and I say born, but I guess it was more like…grown? This scientist called Gerald made you to try and help cure his granddaughter. This was back in the 50's, I think? It's been, like, 50 years since then, and you were in stasis for that. Uh, but I'm getting ahead of myself, sorry. So, yeah, I don't really know how old you were when you became, like, conscious? But apparently you were schooled along side Gerald's granddaughter, and you guys were close. Her name was Maria, if I'm remembering right."

"Maria," Shadow repeated to himself quietly, his stirring slowing momentarily, before he eagerly looked back to Sonic. "What else?"

"Ah, well," Sonic hummed, setting the sauce he'd made aside to start chopping up some vegetables. He dithered for a moment, deciding that, for now, it was probably best to skip the rather tragic end of Maria and the way GUN raided the colony before putting Shadow on ice. And maybe the fact that Shadow was probably part alien. He cleared his throat, shrugging a bit. "A lot of the records are pretty scrambled and some of them were destroyed," not a lie, "so I'm not entirely sure what happened," a total lie, "but a few years passed with you living in the colony, and then you were frozen. I'm sorry to say that Gerald and Maria have both passed away since then, too."

"Oh," Shadow visibly wilted, turning his sad crimson gaze down into the dough in front of him, "So…Do I have any family left?"

Sonic paused in his chopping, reaching across the counter to give Shadow's arm a gentle squeeze. "I'm sorry, Shads. That I don't know for sure, but, I don't think so? There are no records that I've seen that would say so."

"…I see."

"B-but, y'know! That doesn't mean you can't build yourself a new family, right?! Tails and I were both orphans, and we're family now," Sonic's mouth ran before he could think about any of the words coming out of it, "And we've got all sorts of friends that are just like family to us, too. You can start building your own little found family, y'know? You can count Tails and I as friends, for sure."

Shadow lifted his gaze, fixing Sonic with a stare so hopeful that the blue hedgehog was pretty sure he would rather die than disappoint. "Really? But, you barely know me."

"I know what's important," Sonic said with a firm nod, "After you got unfrozen, some bad stuff happened, and you helped us defeat the bad guys and save Mobius. I know you have a good heart, and that's all I need."

"Thank you, Sonic," Shadow murmured, his voice thick with emotions that Sonic feared he may just break under if he wasn't careful.

"Of course, Shadow."

Dinner was a relatively uneventful affair after that. The pizza was only mildly burnt, as Sonic got too caught up teaching Shadow how to play 'Go Fish' while it was in the oven. The two had wound up squabbling over a card that Sonic had said he didn't have, but he had to, since Shadow held its pair in his hand and there were no more cards on the board. It was a playfully bitter discussion over dinner, with Tails cackling when he found the wayward card on the floor as they cleaned up the dishes, half tucked under the leg of the table.

"Just admit you were cheating."

"It's not cheating if I didn't even know it was on the floor."

"A likely story."

Tails snorted at the playful banter between the two hedgehogs, more than happy to see his brother back in the chipper spirits he was used to. He'd been worried ever since they'd come back home after the ARK, when Sonic only seemed to dip deeper and deeper into his own dismal thoughts. With Shadow back, it was like those months of wallowing hadn't even occurred.

"Well, I'm going to go back to working in the garage," Tails hummed, more than happy to leave Sonic and Shadow to their own devices to bond.

"Don't stay up too late, little bro," Sonic called as he wandered into the living room and flopped down onto the couch.

"I'll keep an eye on the time," Tails said, pausing in the hallway.

"That's a bold-faced lie if I ever heard one," Sonic snorted, shifting to grin at Tails over the back of the couch.

"Well…I'll try?"

"Not even close."

"I'll go to bed when you come bug me to?"

"The truth is all I ask for," Sonic laughed, sliding back down into a slouch.

Tails hummed, half hiding his grin as he watched Shadow move to sit next to his brother, and Sonic almost immediately flop over to lean into Shadow's space. It was somewhat odd to see Sonic being so physical with someone so quickly, but it was also refreshing. His older brother tended to keep himself well guarded, even around his closest friends. But there was just something about Shadow that made Sonic drop all those walls almost instantly. Perhaps it was the fact that Shadow had been the only creature that could keep up with him, or maybe it was the odd link they seemed to have now due to the chaos emeralds. Either way, Tails was just happy to see his brother happy, and quietly slipped away to the garage as Sonic began regaling Shadow with the merits of the 'Chaos in Space' movie series.

An hour and a half later found Sonic dozing off on the couch as the end credits of the movie rolled, listing to the side enough that he was leaning on Shadow's shoulder.

"Hey," the hybrid murmured, nudging Sonic gently, causing the other to jolt upright with a snort.

"I'm awake!" Sonic cried, before blue ears swiveled rapidly towards the deep, warm rumble of a chuckle that Shadow let out. Sonic blinked, surprised by the soft smile that greeted him as he turned his head to regard the hybrid curiously. In the time he'd known Shadow, he'd only ever seen variations of frowns, scowls and sneers on the other's face, but he had to admit that a smile truly suited him.

"You should, perhaps, think about going to bed? If you're falling asleep, I can only imagine that Tails is already passed out," Shadow hummed, tilting his head in the direction of the garage.

"Yeah," Sonic said slowly, taking a moment to commit the soft look on Shadow's face to memory before he shoved himself off the couch, stretching with a groan and a pop of his spine. "I'll go shuffle him off to bed. Uh," he paused, realizing they hadn't actually discussed where Shadow was going to sleep. "Sorry, it just occurred to me, but, uh…do you mind sleeping on the couch? We don't have a guest room, so it's the only extra space we have."

"I'm more than happy to accept any space you can make for me," Shadow replied with a small nod of his head.

"Cool! Great, uhm," Sonic stuttered, not particularly sure why he suddenly felt like there were butterflies swarming in his gut as Shadow continued to smile at him so warmly, "I'll bring some blankets and stuff back down for you in a minute, okay?"

"I'll be here."

"You sure will," Sonic chirped back, feeling stupid about the words as soon as they left his mouth, quickly exiting the room. He questioned himself quietly under his breath as he walked into the garage, unsure as to why seeing Shadow happy and calm made him feel so odd. The best way he could figure to describe it was 'fuzzy', and maybe 'fluttery'. Maybe it was because the last time he'd seen the dark hedgehog he was in pain and letting himself fall to his apparent demise, so perhaps seeing him so content filled Sonic with some sort of feeling of accomplishment? Though, he'd never really felt that way after saving any of his other friends. Maybe, then, it was the rush of relief knowing that Shadow had survived his fall, and Sonic hadn't truly failed in saving him? That had to be it, he thought to himself as he scooped an unconscious Tails into his arms and carried him up to his bedroom.

When he returned to the living room with spare blankets and pillows, he found Shadow placing the movie case back on the shelf with very bare hands. He froze, trying not to focus too hard on the way the red stripes on Shadows arms extended down to his middle finger, or the fact that there was only one golden inhibitor ring shining around his wrists instead of two, dropping his armload of bedding with a sharp cry of, "What're you doing?!"

Looking rather alarmed, Shadow turned to Sonic quickly, nearly dropping the DVD case he'd been holding. "Putting the movie away? Was that not the correct spot?"

"No, not that," Sonic hurried to say, scanning the room for Shadows gloves and swiftly scooping them up from where they lay on the coffee table, "Put these back on!"

Shadow took the gloves with a slight frown, tugging them on slowly. "May I ask as to why you reacted in such a way to the removal of my gloves? Should I not be touching things in your home without them?"

"No, it's not that," Sonic grumbled, rubbing at his flushed cheeks, "I guess that's just another thing you wouldn't have learned up on the ARK. Mobians don't generally show their hands or feet to people who they aren't close to. Usually close friends, family, or partners."

"Why is that?" Shadow asked, now looking even more confused, and perhaps slightly hurt. "Did you not say that I could count you and Tails as friends?"

"Y-yes! That's not-" Sonic grunted, pressing the heel of his palm to his forehead, "It's more because you've only been here for, like, a day. It's a trust thing, y'know? Not that I don't find it real flattering that you'd trust Tails and I so readily, but hand and feet pads are the softest spot on a Mobians body, so folks don't tend to just show 'em off, y'know? It's, like, a tender area? Private, I guess? You should really only be taking your gloves off around someone you really trust or have known for a long time."

"Oh! Oh, I see," Shadow hummed, rubbing his thumb absently against the palm of his hand, "It's a modesty thing. Like, ah, clothing for humans?"

"Yeah, exactly," Sonic huffed, dragging his fingers through his quills. "Sorry for reacting like that, by the way. It just sort of caught me off guard."

"It's alright. I'm sorry for my inappropriate behavior. Intentional or not. I only removed them as I thought we were preparing for sleep. I thought it might be more comfortable without them."

"No sweat, Shads. I just gotta remember that a lot of stuff is probably gonna be culture shock for you," Sonic hummed, clapping his hands together, "Anyway! I brought all the extra blankets we had upstairs. I don't know how cold it might get down here, and I know at least one of the blankets is deceptively scratchy, so I figured I may as well bring them all."

Shadow chuckled, moving around the couch to gather the blankets from the floor, draping them over the back of the couch. "Thank you. That was very thoughtful."

"I do my best." With that, Sonic bid Shadow good night and headed up to his room.

Come morning, Sonic woke to the sweet smell of pancakes filling the air. He rose drowsily, figuring Tails must have gotten up early to try his hand at making breakfast for their guest. The kit was becoming a deft hand at cooking, and Sonic was more than pleased, since that meant he didn't have to tempt the fates by using the stove as often. He trotted down the stairs, yawning and stretching his arms over his head as he entered the kitchen. "It smells great in here!"

"Thank you. I hope they taste as good as they smell."

Sonic paused in the doorway, fully not having expected to find Shadow wearing Sonic's rarely used red apron with a spatula in his hand and pancake batter smeared across his cheek. He smiled warmly at Sonic, and something about the simple, domestic sight made Sonic's cheeks heat and his heart give a wayward thump in his chest. He shook his head quickly and cleared his throat when he realized he was staring. "I'm sure they do," he quickly reassured, moving to sit at the kitchen table, watching as Shadow flipped a couple of finished pancakes onto a plate.

"I hope you don't mind that I took the liberty to make breakfast this morning," the hybrid commented, carefully pouring batter into the pan.

"Not at all," Sonic hummed, propping his chin in the palm of his hand, "Though, I am curious…how did you know where everything was? Or how to make pancakes, for that matter?"

"Ah," Shadow chuckled, turning to face Sonic with a lopsided smile, "I memorized the kitchen last night when we were making dinner. And I noticed a small shelf of cook books last night, as well. When I got up this morning I flipped through them until I found the relatively simple recipe for pancakes, which I knew you had all of the ingredients for. I thought it may be an appropriate gesture, as thanks, for allowing me to stay on your couch."

"That's real nice of you, Shads," Sonic said, "But, y'know, you don't have to try and repay us. I'm just happy to see you alive, honestly."

Shadow made a pleased little humming sound, nodding slightly as he turned back to the stove. "Even still. I wish to be of some use, even if it's as simple as making breakfast, while you're helping me. It feels…right. To help."

Sonic opened his mouth to reply, only to be interrupted as Tails came careening into the kitchen. "I told you not to try and make pancakes again, Sonic!" he all but shrieked, before he realized that the wrong colored hedgehog was stood at the stove. "…Oh." He glanced between the two, huffing quietly at Sonic's grin of amusement, before offering an apologetic smile to Shadows alarmed expression. "Sorry. The last time Sonic tried to make pancakes he somehow started a grease fire in the pan, and then tried to put it out with water."

"…How? There isn't even any grease used in this recipe?" Shadow asked, arching a brow at the blue hedgehog.

"Talent," was all Sonic had to say for himself with a shrug.

Breakfast went smoothly after that, aside from Tails insisting that Shadow try to add mint chips to his pancakes and the candy melting to the bottom of the pan, causing a rather hard mess to clean. Luckily, Shadow had made more than enough for the three of them before the burnt sugar fiasco, so they simply left the pan in the sink to soak. It was while Shadow was trying to scrub said pan clean after the trio had finished eating, Tails had gone off to the garage, and Sonic was putting the cleaned dishes away that an unexpected knock came from the door.

"I'll be right back, Shads," Sonic hummed, tossing the dish towel over his shoulder, "Why don't you just let that thing sit to soak some more?"

"It is a challenge I will not back down from," Shadow grunted, gritting his teeth as he scrapped the scouring pad against the metal.

"Whatever floats your boat, then," Sonic snorted, before trotting off to the front door as another knock sounded. "I'm coming, I'm coming!" When he opened the door he wasn't quite sure who he had been expecting, but it certainty wasn't Amy in a bright pink raincoat with a picnic basket over her arm.

"Good morning!" she chirped, pushing in past Sonic without waiting to be invited inside, "I thought I would come by with some muffins for breakfast! You still seemed pretty down yesterday when you left, so I figured I'd pop by to see if I couldn't brighten your spirits a bit more." She carefully set her basket down before taking off her raincoat and boots. "Where's Tails? I brought him some mint chocolate muffins!"

"Hiya, Amy," Sonic hummed, unable to help himself as he rolled his eyes, though it was fond. He shut the door and turned to her just as she picked her basket back up. "The kid's already in the garage tinkering away on whatever gizmo or gadget currently has his interest. Though, I think we'll save the muffins for later. We had a pretty big breakfast this morning."

"Oh? What did you have?" Amy asked, tilting her head curiously.

"Pancakes."

"And how burnt is the stovetop this time?"

"I'll have you know that I did not do the cooking, so the stove is perfectly intact. Though, I'm pretty sure we're going to need to replace the frying pan."

"I have good news for you," Shadows voice carried from the kitchen, before he appeared in the hallway with a triumphant little smirk, "You won't need to replace the pan."

Amy gaped at the appearance of the hybrid, her basket of muffins hitting the floor with a quiet crunch of wicker. "Shadow?!"

"Good morning," Shadow offered with a slight nod of his head.

"You…We thought you died!" she cried, hands clutched to her chest.

"I can understand where that miscommunication happened, but I assure you that I am very much alive."

"Wh-how?!"

Sonic stepped around Amy, snagging her fallen basket from the floor as he went, and stopping next to Shadow with a grin. "He showed up in the front yard when I was on my way home from your place yesterday."

"That doesn't explain how!" Amy retorted, taking a step forward, "You fell from orbit! There's no way you could have survived that."

"Well, he did," Sonic snorted, a light frown on his face, "He's standing right in front of you, isn't he?"

"No need to get defensive for me, Sonic," Shadow sighed, reaching up to snag the dish towel from the blue hedgehog's shoulder. "Truth be told," he offered to Amy, "I don't remember how I survived." He then turned and walked back into the kitchen, setting to work finishing off with the last of the dishes.

Amy quickly stepped to Sonic's side, grabbing his wrist to stop him just before he followed after Shadow into the kitchen. "Are you sure that's Shadow?" she hissed quietly, casting a quick glance into the kitchen as the hybrid put silverware away. "He's not some high tech robot sent by Eggman, is he?"

"Tails ran tests on him yesterday," Sonic grumbled, pulling his wrist free of Amy's grasp, "He's Shadow."

"He doesn't act like Shadow."

Sonic rolled his eyes, letting out a little puff of air. "He hit his head. He doesn't remember, like, anything. Pretty sure he wasn't even aware of his own name until Tails and I said it to him."

"Well…how did he know to come here? That's suspicious, isn't it?"

"Chaos, Amy," Sonic groaned, shifting his weight to pop his hip as he swung the basket of muffins idly, "Tails figures it has something to do with the chaos emeralds, and how Shadow and I went super right before he fell. He's thinking Shadow felt a pull to come here because we were connected by that experience or something. As soon as the storm lets up we're going to head up to Angel Island to talk to Knuckles and see if he might know more."

"Okay," Amy sighed, fidgeting slightly, "As long as you've done your due diligence."

"Of course. Besides, if he was gonna try and kill us, he had more than ample opportunity to do it last night," Sonic joked with an easy grin, snickering at the way Amy's face went red, before ducking into the kitchen.

"That seemed a bit uncalled for," Shadow murmured to Sonic as the hedgehog placed the basket on the counter next to where the hybrid was putting the last of the plates away into a cupboard.

"What was uncalled for?"

"She's just worried about you," Shadow sighed in place of an answer, gently closing the cupboard, "You shouldn't be so dismissive."

"Eh, she's just a worry wart, and it's fun to rile her up sometimes," Sonic shrugged, though his ears did tip back slightly, betraying the fact that he did feel some remorse for his relatively brisk exchange with Amy. "How did you know what we were talking about, anyway? We were whispering pretty quietly, I thought."

"Mm, apparently I have quite good hearing," Shadow offered, leaning back against the counter next to Sonic, "But, to get back to the point, you're acting as though I'll take some great offense to what she said or her doubts, but there's merit in it. I showed up on your front lawn in the middle of a storm, claiming to have no memory. You have to admit that is somewhat suspicious, even if we did save the world together. I can only assume, as a hero, you have plenty of enemies."

"Yeah, I guess," Sonic muttered, ears fully pinned back in contrition now that he was being scolded, "But it's not like you are here to hurt us or anything. Like I told Amy, you've already had plenty of opportunity, and Tails did run tests on you."

"Yes, but had events not played out the way they did, you put yourself and Tails in danger readily, and without a thought. Perhaps you should heed her words more readily," Shadow countered, frowning slightly as he glanced around the kitchen. "Speaking of, where did she go?"

Sonic blinked, surprised at not having realized sooner that Amy wasn't behind him anymore. Which was probably for the best, given what he and Shadow had just been discussing. "I don't know?" he grumbled, before cupping his hands around his mouth and shouting, "AMY!"

"Wow, there's no need to yell," Amy said, cupping her hands over her ears as she appeared in the kitchen doorway with Tails in tow, "I just went to go say hello to Tails and let him know that I brought muffins."

"And to interrogate me to find out what I thought about Shadow being here," Tails hummed, slipping into the kitchen to dig into the wicker basket and pull out his mint muffin.

"What?! Tails! I had that discussion with you in private," Amy grumbled, folding her arms over her chest.

"You didn't say it was a secret?" Tails countered, turning back to the pink hedgehog once he had his alarmingly green muffin in hand. "Besides, I think Shadow has every right to know that you find him suspicious."

"Wha-Well, I-" Amy scoffed, cheeks flushed in embarrassment as Sonic snickered and Tails offered her nothing but a small shrug. Shadow simply looked mildly uncomfortable at the exchange.

"Anyway, thanks for the muffin, Amy," Tails hummed, sidling back out of the kitchen without a backward glance. Which left the three hedgehogs watching each other awkwardly.

"Amy-" Shadow began only to be cut of swiftly by the pink hedgehog.

"No! No, look…you suddenly appearing when we all thought you died just caught me off guard, and I'm a bit on the over protective side for these two. I know that. I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions like that, so I'm sorry. I'm sorry for being so suspicious when I should really just be happy that you survived after helping to save us all," Amy said, looking repentant. "I hope you won't hold it against me, and we can start fresh?"

Shadow let out a short breath, an easy smile on his face as he stepped towards Amy. "I would like that, very much. Though you really didn't need to go to such lengths to apologize. I can appreciate you wanting to protect your friends."

Luckily, in Sonic's opinion, Amy's visit didn't last much longer. With amends made to Shadow, she stayed long enough to riffle through all of Sonic's cupboards, reminding him that he should really have more fruits and vegetables in his pantry, and to offer a tarot reading to Shadow, who though intrigued ultimately turned down the offer. Soon after, she noted that she had promised Vanilla and Cream a visit, so she bid them all farewell with another heartfelt apology to Shadow, before leaving with a cheery wave.

"She seems nice," Shadow hummed as Sonic finally shut the door once Amy was down the front path.

"Yeah, she's one of my best friends. But, she can also be a total pain," Sonic said with a sigh, offering the hybrid a crooked grin. "Sorry about all that. The last couple of days must be getting to be a bit much for you."

"Mmm, that's one way to put it," Shadow sighed, raking his fingers through his quills in a familiar gesture that made Sonic smile. Little things like that gave him no doubts that the Shadow standing in front of him was the same hedgehog that helped him push space colony ARK back into orbit. Even as well tempered and warm as Shadow was now, he was still pretty obviously not a real people person.

The next few days fell into something of a domestic routine, as the rain continued to fall outside. Shadow took it upon himself to make himself home in the kitchen, ensuring his hosts enjoyed three square meals a day. The cook book he had found had gained a permanent spot on the kitchen counter, propped up with a tiny cactus plant that Amy had gifted Sonic ages ago and somehow managed to thrive in their rather haphazard household. Sonic had also decided that his apron was officially Shadow's, since the hybrid had worn it many more times than Sonic could recall ever donning it.

Usually when the rain lasted this long, Sonic felt a nagging, itching urge to duck out of the house and run through the torrent. However, every time he glanced into the kitchen to find Shadow with his apron tied around his waist and a kitchen utensil in hand, he found the urge distinctly absent. For the first time, perhaps in his entire life, Sonic didn't feel the need to run.

Until, of course, life forced him to leave the house.

"I gotta go run some errands - we're starting to run low on a few things since I haven't really gone to the grocery store in a while," Sonic grumbled, hands on his hips as he stared into the pantry.

"I can accompany you, if you'd like?" Shadow offered, tilting his head back to watch Sonic from his place on the couch, book held aloft in his hand.

"Nah," Sonic waved a hand though the air, already in the hallway, slipping on his shoes and taking his rain coat from its hook, "I'll be back in a flash! You just relax. Finish the book you've been reading."

"If you're sure," Shadow agreed with a small nod, wincing slightly as Sonic opened the door to the downpour still going on outside. "Be careful, at least."

"I'm always careful, Shads," Sonic said with a grin, earning a snort from the hybrid.

"Somehow, I doubt that."

Sonic simply laughed at the little quip, his heart light at the easy banter he had with Shadow. It made him wonder if, given time, he would have managed to garner the same sort of rapport with the dark hedgehog if he hadn't lost his memory. "Make sure Tails doesn't burn the house down while I'm gone," he chirped, dashing out into the rain.

With that Shadow got up and shuffled to the door to shut it, before turning to the living room to do as Sonic suggested and continue with his book. He had chosen it the second day he'd been in the house and was finding it rather dry and difficult to get through. He was debating on putting it back and choosing a different book entirely, as a thick tome of Arthurian legends had caught his eye the day before, but he'd wanted to at least try to get through the first novel he'd chosen before delving into that.

Sonic was gone for barely five minutes when the thunder began.

"Sonic?!" Tails panicked voice suddenly sounded much closer than Shadow was anticipating. He glanced up from his lackluster novel just in time to watch an orange blur zip past the living room entrance towards the kitchen, before turning and going upstairs. Another rumble of thunder sounded in the distance, and the orange blur bolted into the living room, nearly crashing into Shadow, who had gotten up and moved to the hallway to see why Tails was looking for Sonic.

"Is everything all right?" the hybrid asked, catching Tails by the shoulders as the fox kit looked around, obviously anxious and jittery.

"Where's Sonic?" Tails asked instead of answering Shadow, flinching as lighting lit up the living room window.

"He just went to go run some errands. He said he would be back shortly. Tails, you're shaking. Please, what's the matter?" Shadow gently steered the fox kit towards the couch, taking note of the way Tails ears twitched and swiveled at the sounds of the storm outside.

"I…It's embarrassing," Tails murmured, flinching hard at another rumble of thunder.

"Ah," Shadow hummed, nodding slightly as he easily put two and two together, "Would you like a distraction from the storm?"

"I had a distraction," Tails muttered, letting Shadow sit him on the couch, "I'm working on a new upgrade for our communicators. I just," he cringed at another flash of lighting, "I don't like…thunder and lightning."

"They are both rather startling. I can see why they would bother you," Shadow said with a small nod, moving to the book shelf, pulling out the book of legends he had been eyeing before Tails ran through the house like a small orange whirlwind. If this wasn't a sign to give up on his previous novel, then he wasn't sure what was.

"But I'm almost nine. I'm too old for thunder and lightning to scare me," Tails grumped, folding his arms over his chest as he slumped into the couch, tails curled into his lap. "I've read books about what causes them and I understand what they are. They shouldn't bother me like this."

"I don't think you're being very fair to yourself about this," Shadow stated calmly, settling himself on the couch next to Tails, book in hand, "You're still young, and even if you weren't, you're allowed to be scared of things. Thunder is loud and lightning is dangerous. It makes sense to be frightened of them."

"Yeah, I guess," Tails sighed, ears flat as he dug his fingers into the fur of his namesake. "I just don't like feeling scared like this. I've fought robots and faced the end of the world! The sound of rapidly heating and cooling air shouldn't scare me like this."

"Again," Shadow sighed, reaching out to gently pat at Tail's shoulder, "You are allowed to be frightened. Sometimes things just scare us, without explanation. It's perfectly normal. I'm afraid of heights."

"You are? But you have air shoes that let you hover?" Tails said with a slight frown, "And you can use chaos control."

Shadow tilted his head with a mildly confused smile on his face. "Uh…I'm going to assume those are things that would keep me from falling?"

"Oh! Right. Yeah. Your shoes, you can channel chaos energy through them to skate over the ground and if you push enough energy into them you can sort of hover or fly. Chaos control is an ability you have that lets you teleport."

Shadow chuckled, arching an eyebrow at Tails in amusement. "I enjoy how you said all of this to me as though I have any idea as to what you're talking about. But, I do believe that's a lesson you can teach me another day," the hybrid held his chosen book of legends up, wiggling it slightly, "Would you like to join me for a story?"

Tails eyed the book, his cheeks flushed from being called out on his mini ramble about Shadows abilities. "Yeah, okay," he murmured with a slight nod, trying his best to ignore the rumble of thunder in the distance.

When Sonic arrived home, mildly short of breath from running through the rain to get home as fast as he could, knowing Tails would not be doing well with the sudden and loud turn the storm had taken, he was pleasantly surprised to be greeted with the sight of Shadow curled into the corner of the couch, book in hand and Tails tucked under his arm, fast asleep. Shadow glanced up as Sonic stepped through the door, quickly gesturing for the other hedgehog to be quiet. The hero gave a short nod, setting his bags down, toeing off his shoes and hanging up his jacket in quick succession as quietly as he could.

"How did you manage to get him to sleep?" Sonic whispered once he was free and clear of his rain gear, shuffling into the living room, "Usually the only way to calm him down during a thunder storm is huddling in a pillow fort until it passes."

Shadow chuckled, quietly, shrugging only one shoulder so he wouldn't disturb the fox kit. "We talked a little, but mostly I read him stories from a book of legends."

"Oh, I could see that working. You've got a nice timber for story telling," Sonic hummed absently, sitting on the opposite end of the couch, reaching out to gently pet Tails' fur, smiling as his brother snuffled in his sleep.

"Do you think so?"

Sonic looked up curiously at Shadow's quiet question, his heart skipping a beat at finding the hybrid with a light flush over his cheeks and a tiny smile on his lips. He swallowed thickly, forcing a grin onto his own face. "Of course. You've got a really nice voice, Shads."

A pleased hum was Sonic's only reply for a moment as Shadow's eyes drifted down to watch the snoozing kit. After a beat he let out a little breath, glancing back up at the blue hedgehog. "This felt…familiar. Like I've done something like this before."

Sonic's ears perked forward in curiosity, his head tilting slightly. "Oh? Do you think it's something that you maybe used to do with Maria? Like, read stories together?"

"Perhaps," Shadow hummed, gaze a bit distant as he spoke, as if he were reliving a memory in his mind, "More like…comforting each other while afraid? It's vague." He grunted quietly, dipping his head, light frown on his face. "I'm sorry. I promise, I am trying to remember. Nothing seems to be very forthcoming, though."

"Hey, hey," Sonic cooed, reaching past Tails to rest a hand on Shadow's knee, "There's no rush. Tails and I are more than happy to have you for as long as you need. As long as you don't mind living on our couch. Besides, it's only been, like, a week. Not exactly a hardship, y'know?"

"It is surprisingly comfortable for being so well worn," the hybrid said with a small nod, only to shake his head a moment later. He lifted a hand to place it over Sonic's, looking contrite as he faced the hero of Mobius. "I just feel like I'm intruding, and not offering enough for taking up space in your home. If I could recover my memory faster, I would be able to get out of your quills."

"Well, that's the biggest load of bologna I've ever heard," Sonic hissed with a snort, "I invited you in, and I never expected anything from you. The fact that you've taken over the kitchen and make sure Tails and I get the most amazing meals that stovetop has ever seen is above and beyond anything I could've asked for. Don't push yourself, Shads. Seriously. You're totally fine."

Both hedgehogs glanced down as Tails grumbled something in his sleep, pressing his face into Shadow's fur with a soft whine. His tails twitched in his sleep, earning a soft laugh from Sonic. He rose and gently picked the kit up from the couch, rubbing his back as he groaned in his sleep. "I'm going to take him up to his room. Would you mind putting the groceries away while I do?"

"Of course," Shadow nodded, setting aside the book of legends to rise from the couch as well. He quickly stopped Sonic before he could get too far with a hand on his arm, flushing slightly at the look of concern Sonic gave him. "I just wanted to say…thank you. For your kindness, and your understanding. I know you knew me, before, and we were allies, but you didn't need to open your home to me. I appreciate it. Truly."

Sonic had to bite his tongue to resist his usual habit of retorting to sincerity with a quippy remark. He knew that doing so would only serve to push Shadow away, and that was truly the last thing he wanted to do. Instead he offered the hybrid a smile, hoisting Tails up on his hip a little as the kit began to slowly slip in his grip. "Anytime, Shadow. I mean it," he said simply, finally turning to take Tails upstairs.

While upstairs, Sonic let his mind wander as he tucked Tails into bed. The heartfelt comments from Shadow wanting to do more for Sonic and Tails made the blue hedgehog realize he could do more for Shadow. His mind wandered to the inhibitor ring missing from Shadows wrist, and the fact that he knew exactly where it was, and where it had been for quite some time.

He wandered into his bedroom once he'd finished tucking Tails into bed, his eyes instantly landing on his bedside table. He bit his lip as he walked over to it, slowly pulling the drawer out to reveal the shining gold band resting inside. Sonic had pulled it free of Shadow's wrist when he'd made a grab for the falling hybrid, nearly dropping it when he'd scrambled to try again for Shadow's hand. When Shadow had fallen too far out of reach and Sonic knew he had to get back onto the ARK or risk falling as well, he'd tucked it into his quills. He'd offered it to Rouge when he'd made it back, but she'd pushed it back into his hands with a shake of her head. Looking back on it, he was grateful to her for letting him keep it. Gently, he pulled it from its resting place and tucked it into his quills before heading back downstairs.

Upon reaching the bottom of the stairs he found the groceries gone from the hallway, presumably stored safely away in their proper places, and Shadow curled up in the corner of the couch again with the book of legends back in his hand.

"It's a pretty good book, huh?" Sonic commented idly as he rounded the couch, sitting himself on the opposite end to Shadow, "It's one of my favorites."

The hybrid looked up, a warm smile on his face. "It's quite good. I'm enjoying the stories about Sir Lancelot."

"Glad to hear it," Sonic hummed, his own smile not quite reaching his eyes as he dug into his quills for the ring. "Hey, uhm…do you mind if I talk to you?"

"Of course," Shadow said, snapping the book shut and giving Sonic his undivided attention without hesitation, "What is it?"

"First, thanks for putting away the groceries. And, uhm, second," he offered the inhibitor ring to Shadow, who simply looked confused as he reached out for it.

"Is this mine?"

"Yeah. It's a matching set of four. Uhm, I accidentally took it when I tried to grab you before you fell. I grabbed it instead of your wrist," Sonic muttered, watching as Shadow flipped it over in his hands, before carefully securing it around his wrist. "Do you remember what they are?"

"I feel like they're important? But not much more than that," Shadow offered, twisting his wrist this way and that, his gaze lifting to Sonic's after a beat. "What are they?"

"Inhibitor rings," Sonic stated, turning sideways and bringing his knee up onto the couch so he could fully face Shadow, "According to the files, from what I can remember, the guy who created you, Gerald, he made you with too much chaos energy - that's this energy that flows through pretty much everything on Mobius in small doses. If something has too much chaos energy, it can become unstable. In your case, you have so much that it could destroy you if you aren't careful. The inhibitor rings help to regulate it and keep you stable."

"I see," Shadow murmured, eyes drawn back down to the glinting gold around his wrists. He flipped his hand back and forth, a slight frown on his muzzle. "If you thought I was dead, and they're just some sort of dampener, why did you keep it?"

"Because it was all I had left of you," Sonic admitted quietly, tipping his head to lean it against the back of the couch, watching Shadow fiddle with the newly reacquired ring. "We didn't know each other for very long, but you were the very first person who could keep up with me step for step and blow for blow. I don't think you thought much of it at the time, but it was really pretty eye opening to me. Because of that, you became important to me, and when I couldn't save you, well…Having something, even just one of your inhibitor rings, really helped me get through some stuff."

"Sonic," Shadow's voice was hushed as he spoke, while reaching a hand out towards the other.

"Heh, yeah," Sonic suddenly cleared his throat, turning his head away and glancing out the window. "Oh, hey," he said quickly, rising from the couch and stretching his arms over his head, trying to ignore the way Shadow was looking at him, "it looks like the rain finally stopped. We should be able to go up to Angel Island tomorrow." He chanced the briefest of glances at Shadow, his heart lurching in his chest at the look on the other's face. Quickly he turned on his heel, hoping Shadow didn't notice the flush on his cheeks. "I bought ingredients for chili dogs, so why don't I go start working on dinner while you read some more? I've got a wicked awesome recipe that I think you'll love," Sonic said quickly, maneuvering around the couch and exiting the room as quickly as possible. Feelings weren't really his forte, let alone talking about them. He didn't see the way the hybrid fiddled with his returned ring, clutching it to his chest as Sonic disappeared into the kitchen.

Shadow let the conversation rest, deciding that, based on Sonic's reaction it would probably be best to let the blue hedgehog come to him, rather than push anything. It was pretty obvious that his death had impacted Sonic quite a bit, even if it turned out to be temporary. His current lack of memories probably wasn't very helpful, either. He wondered idly just how important he really was to the other before everything that had happened. He sighed quietly, turning his attention back to his book as Sonic had suggested until he was eventually called into the kitchen for dinner.

The next day found the trio heading into the small hangar Sonic and Tails had in their backyard, which housed the Tornado. Tails immediately ran to begin doing pre flight checks of the plane to ensure everything would be in full working order for their flight, while Sonic stood back with a pleased little smile on his face as he watched the fox kit work. Meanwhile, Shadow stared up at the plane as though it was the harbinger of his doom.

It took a few solid minutes before Sonic clued in to Shadow's trepidation, and even at that it was only because the hybrid had begun to shake slightly. He blinked in surprise, turning to Shadow quickly, hands in the air but not quite sure what to do with them. "Shadow? Hey, what's up? You okay?"

Shadow shook his head slightly, wringing his hands in front of himself hard enough for the leather of his gloves to squeak slightly. "I didn't realize we would need to fly to Angel Island."

"Well…yeah? What did you think I meant when I said we'd need to go 'up'? And the fact that we had to wait for the rain to stop?"

"That's a perfectly common phrase people use when traveling anywhere!" Shadow snapped, his ears pinning back as he continued to stare up at the plane, "People say they are travelling 'up' in a general sense, unless they're definitively going south. I just assumed that was the case! And I thought, perhaps, you just didn't like traveling in the rain. That's perfectly feasible!"

"Woah there, hey," Sonic tried to sooth, placing his hand gently on Shadow's shoulder frowning slightly as the hybrid flinched and hunched in on himself. "It's perfectly safe. Tails and I fly the Tornado all the time. You can even sit in the second seat instead of riding on the wing, okay?"

"On the wing?!" Shadow turned wide eyes on Sonic, his pupils barely pinpricks as his breath started to come in little gasps.

"Woah!" Sonic raised his hands in a placating gesture, "I said you could sit in the plane! Plus, you have your air shoes if anything goes wonky. You're totally safe, Shadow." He frowned when all he got in response to his reassurance was Shadow's gaze snapping back to the plane, the hybrid obviously close to a full blown panic attack.

"Oh yeah," Tails drawled, popping up from under the plane, a smear of oil adorning his cheek, "I forgot he said he was afraid of heights."

"What?!" Sonic turned an accusatory glare at Tails, "When was this?!"

"Uh…Yesterday? While you were out running errands. He told me everyone was allowed to be afraid of things when I said I was too old to be afraid of thunder, and that he was afraid of heights," Tails offered, looking a bit sheepish. "I kind of had other things on my mind at the time, so I sort of forgot."

"Okay, setting aside the fact that Shadow apparently remembered something about himself, we need to calm him down," Sonic said, waving a hand through the air and turning his attention back to the panicking hedgehog next to him. "Let's get him outside. Maybe not being directly in front of the plane will help."

"Right," Tails said with a quick nod, moving forward and waving his arms in the air to get Shadow's attention. It seemed to work well enough, as Shadow's gaze settled on him after a moment. Sonic took the opportunity to duck behind the hybrid and grab his shoulders, quickly turning him and steering him out of the hangar before he could properly register what was going on.

Once outside Shadow's shoulder's immediately dropped, his posture becoming more embarrassed than stressed out as his tail dipped and he ducked his head slightly. "I-I'm sorry," he murmured, half covering his face with a hand, his muzzle flushing, "I don't know what came over me. That was entirely uncalled for."

"It's totally okay, Shads. No worries," Sonic reassured, moving to stand in front of Shadow, pulling his hands away from his face. "Like you said to Tails, everyone is allowed to be afraid. Admittedly, it would've been nice if I'd known you were afraid of heights so I could've warned you properly, but we'll blame that on Tails."

"Hey!"

"You had an entire day to remember and tell me. Don't act like this isn't a little bit on you."

"That's fair, I guess…"

Sonic rolled his eyes with a chuckle, nodding his head towards the hangar. "Go finish up getting the Tornado ready. I'll stay out here with Shadow."

"Okay," Tails sighed, pausing as he passed by the embarrassed hedgehog, "Sorry for not warning you yesterday."

"It's alright. You were distracted by the storm. It's understandable," Shadow murmured, offering Tails a wobbly little smile.

With that, Tails dashed back into the hangar, leaving Sonic holding Shadow's hands and standing somewhat awkwardly in the yard. He chewed on his lip for a moment, trying to figure out what he could do to make Shadow feel better when the hybrid turned his hands in Sonics to return his grip. The blue hedgehog blinked in surprise, watching Shadow as the hybrid squirmed slightly under his scrutiny.

"I truly am sorry for how I reacted," Shadow lamented, gaze firmly on the ground, "I shouldn't have snapped at you like that."

"Seriously, it's totally fine," Sonic said with a light little laugh, "That was pretty low on the scale of negative reactions I've had to deal with."

"Still," Shadow murmured, giving Sonic's hands a little squeeze, "Perhaps you could explain to me how my shoes can apparently help me? That may help ease my mind, if I know how they're supposed to work."

"Oh, jeez," Sonic snorted quietly, pulling one of his hands free to rub at his quills absently, "That's gonna be a bit of a tough one, Shads. I only kinda know how they work, from those files I told you about? Uh…The best explanation I can really give you is that you push chaos energy into them, and they convert it into a sort of burst of air? When you use them it kinda of looks like you're skating on air."

"Tails mentioned something about that," Shadow murmured, his other hand sliding free of Sonic's as he looked down at his feet. "But, how do I do that?"

Sonic groaned, rubbing a hand over his face. "Asking all the hard questions today, aren't ya?" He sighed, tilting his head to stare into the sky, humming and hawing for a minute, finally looking back to Shadow after a beat, his muzzle scrunched in what almost appeared to be discomfort. "First you gotta kinda…feel the energy inside you?" he tried to explain, placing a hand over his chest, "Once you've got it, you just…push it to where you want it to go with, like, your mind? Mine's usually centered around my legs so I can run fast." He grunted, dropping his arms to his sides, offering Shadow an apologetic smile. "I'm not real good at explaining, sorry. I've never had to think really about it before. It just sort of happens."

Shadow screwed up his nose at the explanation, letting out a disgruntled breath. "That's not very helpful," he grumbled, earning a short laugh from Sonic.

"Yeah, I know. Sorry, again."

"It's fine, I just…that's very vague," the hybrid sighed, closing his eyes and rolling his shoulders back, "But I'll try." He frowned in concentration as he lifted a hand to rest over his chest, where Sonic had placed his own hand when trying his best to explain.

"That's it," he heard Sonic's voice approach, the blue hedgehogs warmth encroaching into his space, a shiver zipping up his spine at the sudden proximity, "It's kinda like feeling when someone is close by, but you can't see them. But with energy, inside you. Ehhhh, that's a terrible analogy."

Shadow couldn't help but chuckle at Sonic half babbling to himself, tilting his head in the direction he believed the hedgehog to be, while trying to ignore the way his heart seemed to thrum at the other's proximity. "If you're trying to be helpful, it's not really working."

"Fine, fine, I'll shut up. But don't say I didn't try."

"Noted," the hybrid snorted, shifting his focus inwards to try and feel what Sonic was talking about. He thought that, perhaps, he could sense what Sonic meant, an odd sort of fuzzy warm feeling in the center of his chest. When he tried to reach for it, it almost felt like it reacted to him, reaching back and pulling him in. Suddenly, what had started off feeling so small and warm was vast and overwhelming, like it was trying to consume him. He struggled against it, his face twisting in discomfort while he mentally grappled with the energy that threatened to devour him. It took mere moments in the physical world, but in Shadow's mind it felt like an eternity before he managed to wrangle the energy and bend it to his will. He pushed it, as Sonic had instructed, until it felt like something inside him snapped into place, his eyes opening with a sharp gasp.

"Heyyy! Shadow! Look at you!" Sonic's voice almost sounded garbled to his ears as he readjusted his focus to the physical world, squinting slightly in the bright sunlight.

"Wh-what?" Shadow grunted intelligently, blinking owlishly at Sonic as the other grinned widely at him.

"Your skates! You did it," Sonic said, pointing down to Shadows shoes, which were lifting the hybrid a few inches from the ground.

"Oh…oh!" Shadow allowed a grin to slowly creep over his muzzle, his tail wagging happily as he shifted back and forth on his shoes, watching as little sparks of red energy jumped from them, "I did it!" He experimented briefly with gliding across the grass, chewing on his lip as he figured out how to shift his feet to go in different directions, before seeing just how much energy it took to levitate himself higher into the air. He let out a joyous little laugh as he rose a foot or so up, doing a short pirouette in the air and turning a brilliant grin towards Sonic. "This is amazing!"

Although Sonic was elated for Shadow, he was truly more mesmerized by how light and carefree Shadow looked in those moments. Free of the weight of his promise to Maria and all of what had happened on the ARK, Sonic could see the kind of hedgehog Shadow could have been if GUN hadn't interfered. Under his usual gruff, cold exterior, Sonic now knew that Shadow had a soft, warm heart full of wonder. It made his own heart bleed, knowing that one day when Shadow inevitably got his memories back that all of this would drown in all of the darkness that had so unfairly been dumped onto him. He felt his smile slowly slip from his lips as he watched Shadow practically dance through the air, now perfectly understanding as to why Maria sacrificed herself for this hedgehog. He deserved to be saved.

"Sonic?" Shadow's voice brought Sonic out of his reverie, quickly shaking his head and plastering his trademark grin on his face.

"Sorry! Lost in my own head there for a sec," he laughed, propping his hands on his hips and watching as Shadow touched back down onto the ground, "So…you feeling better about flying now that you can work your shoes?"

"I…yes, I think so," the hybrid hummed after pausing to think for a moment, offering a short nod and a hesitant smile. "Though, I do still think I would prefer to sit in the second seat. But, please tell me it won't be a long flight? It doesn't exactly give me the warmest feeling, knowing you'll be riding on the wing."

"Hey, don't sweat it! It's how I always ride on the Tornado. It's more fun, in my opinion," Sonic said with an easy laugh, sliding an arm around Shadows shoulders and directing him back towards the hangar, "It's not too bad. A couple of hours, I think, at most. It's a floating island, so it moves around a bit. Sometimes the trip is longer the others, but Tails has a tracker thingy that he made with Knuckles, so he can always find it pretty easily."

With that, the trio embarked upon the Tornado towards Angel Island. For the most part Shadow clung to the seat belts strapped over his shoulders and kept his eyes shut, but sometimes Sonic would glance back and find him staring off in awe at mountains or a lake, eyes practically sparkling as he took in the sights. It made Sonic's heart do funny little summersaults in his chest, and he was really beginning to worry about what that meant.

Landing on Angel Island was always a little bit precarious, as even though Knuckles knew full well what the Tornado looked like by now, Sonic and Tails could never really be sure whether the echidna would lob a boulder at them or not. His mood and level of friendliness were always a bit tenuous at best, especially when he was actively guarding the master emerald. Today, however, seemed to be a good day, as Tails brought the plane down onto the surface of the island without any issue. Once parked, Sonic hoped down from the wing, grinning as he was greeted by a small gaggle of chaos clamoring for his attention.

"Hey, hey! There's plenty of me to go around," Sonic laughed, doing a quick little round of head pats while Shadow and Tails disembarked from the plane.

"And what are these creatures?" Shadow asked as he approached Sonic and the chaos, a light frown on his face as all but one of them scampered back to the brush at the sound of his voice.

"Aww, don't take them running off too personally. They're only used to a small handful of folks who visit the island, so they're a bit shy," Sonic reassured at seeing the look on Shadows face, offering him the one chao he had been holding, and therefor hadn't run away, "They're chaos! Only a few still live on the island, with our friend Knuckles. He takes care of the master emerald, and knows the most about chaos energy, since his clan has looked after this place for, like, forever. If we're lucky, he might know why you felt drawn to me and maybe the chaos energy around here will help you heal, and maybe with getting your memories back."

Shadow gave a small nod of understanding, eyeing the chao in Sonic's hands. It was cute, by all rights, its tiny pink wings flapping idly as it eyed the hybrid in curiosity. Tentatively, Shadow offered his own hand to the little creature, somewhat startled as it hopped onto his palm and let out a contented sounding little chirrup.

"Aww, it likes you," Tails giggled from Shadows right, having just finished up with securing the Tornado.

"It's kinda rare for them to warm up to someone new so fast," Sonic commented idly, though he couldn't help the smile on his face as he watched Shadow carefully bring the little chao to his chest and cradle it as if it were fragile. In return, the chao snuggled into the hybrids chest fur, causing Shadow to let out the most adorable sound of surprise Sonic was certain he'd ever heard. As a matter of fact, the blue hedgehog hadn't even realized he was openly staring and zoning out until Shadow cleared his throat and Tails let out a knowing little snort next to him.

"Shouldn't we go find your friend?" Shadow asked, arching an eyebrow at Sonic.

"Oh! Yeah, right," Sonic cleared his throat and promptly turned on his heel to march into the forest, hoping that Shadow didn't notice the way his muzzle had flushed at being caught. "I'm actually surprised Knux hasn't come busting through the woods to find us already. Usually he's pretty on top of visitors."

The trio trapsed through the woods, the little gaggle of chaos following them like little ducklings, while the one in Shadows hands fell asleep against his chest. When they finally broke through the tree line near the shrine of the master emerald they were surprised to find someone standing with Knuckles on the main platform. Namely, one Rouge the bat, currently arguing with the guardian over something the trio couldn't hear from where they stood.

"Oh man," Sonic said with a grin, turning to carefully take the snoozing chao from Shadow's grip, much to the hybrid's confusion. "Just trust me," he said as his only explanation, before turning towards the platform again. "Hey, Rouge!" he shouted, letting the awake and now disgruntled chao jump from his hands as he shouted, "Come see who I found!"

In unison the two on the platform turned, Knuckles obviously scowling, while Rouge's hands went to her face in surprise, before she, quite literally, came flying off the platform. "Shadow! You're alive!" Shadow grunted as the bat collided with his chest, wrapping his arms around her instinctually and sliding one of his feet back to keep them balanced. He shot Sonic a somewhat alarmed look, before he was pushed back by the shoulders and held at arms length by Rouge, his ears pinning back as she scrutinized him, picking at his quills and brushing dirt from his fur. "I can't believe it! And you didn't come find me first? What made you go to see Blue instead? That's so rude," she ranted at him, finally letting him go and stepping back once she was satisfied.

"Well, we were hoping that, perhaps, Knuckles could answer that last question," Shadow offered with a bit of a shrug, casting another pleading glance at Sonic, who simply grinned at him.

"That repugnant red ruffian? Why would he know why you went off to Sonic instead of finding me?" Rouge asked, tilting her head with her hands on her hips, narrowing her eyes at Shadow slightly, "I assume it has something to do with the emeralds?"

"We don't really know yet," Tails piped up, rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet as Rouge turned her attention to him, "It's my going theory, at any rate. Shadow lost his memory, and since there's a few month gap between him falling to Mobius and reappearing in our yard, there's a lot of questions that we're hoping to start answering."

"Lost his memory…?" Rouge turned back to Shadow who took a tentative step back when her attention came back to him, "So, you don't remember who I am?"

"My apologies," Shadow said, shaking his head slightly, "but, no."

"Oh," Rouge's ears drooped slightly for a moment, before she let out a breath and shrugged, "Well, I suppose it can't be helped." She paused, grinning a little as she quirked a brow at Sonic, "Wait…does that mean he's all soft and squishy now?" she gasped, "Is that why he let me hug him?!"

"Ha, yeah," Sonic snorted, only offering a smirk at Shadow's questioning glance.

"Oh, sugar," Rouge cooed at Shadow, squeezing his cheeks slightly, much to his obvious chagrin, "You're gonna be so pissed off at everyone when you get your memories back."

"And what makes you say that?" the hybrid asked, though his words were slightly garbled by the way his face was being held.

"Oh, just trust me on that one," Rouge giggled, finally letting go of Shadow's face and turning around with a huff when Knuckles cleared his throat loudly from the stairs leading up to the emerald's platform.

"What, pray tell, are you all doing on my island? And how did the black hedgehog survive plummeting back to the surface of the planet?"

"Real tactful, Knux," Sonic snorted, swagger in his step as he approached the echidna, the rest following shortly thereafter, "We came to talk to you about Shadow. He showed up in my yard unannounced. Wanted to see if you had any insight as to why."

Knuckles scrunched his nose up as Sonic approached, his gaze moving to the hybrid in question, eyes narrowing. "And why would I know anything about that? Did I not just question as to how he survived?"

"That's not really the question Sonic meant to ask," Tails interjected, jogging up the stairs to stand between his brother and the hot headed echidna, "Shadow lost his memory, and said he felt drawn to our house. I have a theory that it was because of their chaos energy, and their time spent in their super forms right before Shadow fell. We wanted to see if you could maybe confirm if that was the case, and if there was anything else you may think could be going on? Like, maybe if the master emerald was acting odd, or perhaps there's some underlying threat that made Chaos push Shadow to Sonic so they could work together to defeat it…"

Knuckles snorted, rolling his shoulders, arms folded across his chest. "There has been no noticeable disturbance in the flow of chaos to or around the master emerald. And your theory sounds feasible, and so the most likely explanation."

"Insightful as always," Sonic sighed, shaking his head as Knuckles shot him an incredulous look.

"Did I not just answer the questions the fox posed to me?! What more do you want?"

"Well, to be honest, I think we were hoping for a little more information or speculation," Tails muttered to the side, jumping slightly and ducking behind Shadow at the glare Knuckles shot him. "It's just, y'know, you're the one who knows the most about chaos energy and how it works!"

Knuckles sighed, letting his arms drop to his sides. "Unfortunately, there is nothing more I can offer. As I said, there have been no disruptions to the master emeralds energy. And it is, indeed, most likely that their time spent in super form has caused some form of bond to be created between Sonic and the black hedgehog. Their energies are likely linked because of their shared use of the emeralds, and so may feel compelled to seek each other out. As much as I know about the emeralds, there are still many more mysteries about them that I cannot answer."

"So, we came all this way for nothing?" Shadow asked, tone contrite as his shoulders slumped.

With another heavy sigh, Knuckles gestured for the hybrid to approach. "Not nothing. Perhaps communing with the emerald will aid you in the return of your memories."

"Oh sure, I ask to touch it and it's a big hullabaloo, but you just offer it to him without a second thought," Rouge quietly grumped as she followed Shadow up the rest of the stairs, put upon pout on her face.

"That is because if I let you near it you will try to steal it, despite its size in relation to you," the echidna snarked over his shoulder as he lead the way up to the emerald.

"Rude," Rouge grumbled, Sonic snickering next to her.

"Can't say he doesn't have you pegged, Rouge."

"Shut it, Blue."

"I do not know why I put up with the lot of you sometimes," Knuckles sighed, pausing just before the emerald. He turned to Shadow, gesturing for him to sit, "Sit here and close your eyes. Try to relax and focus your energy on the emerald. If chaos so sees it fit to do so, it will help you with your memories. The servers are the seven Chaos. Chaos is power… Power enriched by the heart. The controller is the one that unifies the Chaos." With that Knuckles turned from the emerald and shooed Rouge, Sonic and Tails away with a frown. "Leave him be. You three are distracting."

"Aww, you find me distracting, Red?" Rouge bat her lashes at the echidna, causing him to roll his eyes with a sigh.

"Banished, all of you."

Sonic snorted at their bickering, sauntering off to lean against a wall far enough away from Shadow that he wouldn't be immediately distracting, while remaining within his line of sight. Tails had disappeared almost immediately, so Sonic could only assume that he'd wandered off to poke around the temple a bit while Knuckles was preoccupied with Rouge, curious kid that he was. He watched as Rouge and Knuckles began to walk off as well, still exchanging barbs all the while, before he gaze was caught by slight movement in Shadow's direction. Turning his head he arched a brow as the hybrid quickly whipped his face back towards the emerald, his shoulders hunching slightly. Glancing back the way his friends had disappeared to ensure the two were gone to avoid getting scolded, he meandered over to Shadow, settling himself down next to the ebony hedgehog.

"What's up, Shads?"

"The sky?" the hybrid offered, eyes closed and chin tilted up towards the emerald.

"Haha, you're so funny," Sonic scoffed quietly, "I saw you looking at me instead of 'communing'. Something bugging you?"

Shadow let out a breath, opening his eyes to stare somewhat forlornly at the emerald. "I noticed that when we arrived here and met your friends your demeanor…changed. You were more dismissive and confrontational. I couldn't help but be curious as to why."

"Did it?" Sonic blinked, turning to look up at the emerald as well, rubbing absently at his quills. "Habit, probably? The way I am at home and with Tails, that's…I'm the hero of Mobius, y'know? My friends expect me to act a certain way, and so do the people of Mobius. When I leave the house, I guess I just sort of slip into that persona without realizing."

"So, you don't feel like you can be yourself around your friends?"

"I didn't say that."

"You just did. Quite literally."

Sonic let out a puff of frustrated air, glaring at the emerald. "The way I am in public and the way I am at home are both me. They're just different sides of who I am. Being more defensive when I'm out is a bit of a necessity. Robotnik could attack anywhere at anytime, so I guess I just sort of adapted to that over the years."

"Robotnik…is that the 'Eggman' you and Amy were talking about last week?"

"Yeah."

"…Is he the one we saved the world from?"

"That's…complicated."

"More complicated than trying to get a rock to speak to me?"

"Believe it or not, Shads? Yeah."

"I see," Shadow sighed, lifting a hand to rub at his forehead. "I feel like all of this would make more sense if I could just remember."

"Hey, like I keep saying, Shads, there's no rush," Sonic hummed, leaning in to brush his shoulder against Shadows. "Sorry if my attitude was off putting to you. It'll probably happen again."

At that Shadow snorted a quiet laugh, nudging Sonic's shoulder back with his own. "Good to know you'll at least be consistent."

"Eh, that's debatable," Sonic said flippantly, an easy grin spreading across his face at the way Shadow laughed at his comment, admiring the way his tan muzzle darkened with an amused flush in his cheeks. He idly wondered how infrequently he'd get to see that sight once Shadow got his memories back.

"Do I have something on my face?"

"Huh? Oh!" Sonic cleared his throat, turning his attention back to the emerald, hoping his own blush wasn't too obvious, "Sorry. Zoned out."

"Mhmm," Shadow hummed, warm little smile on his face at catching the way Sonic's face lit up. "Do you think we should thank Knuckles and go? I don't think his rock is going to speak to me."

"Hey, now," Sonic said, pushing off the ground to shove himself back up onto his feet, "You've been chatting with me and not giving communing with 'the rock' a fair shake. At least try properly for a few minutes before we go annoying the shit out of Knux again. I'll even go back to sitting in the corner." He turned to go back to the spot he'd picked previously, before pausing and glancing back at Shadow, "Try focusing on it like you did with your own energy earlier, only, y'know…in front of you instead of inside. It's the same thing, basically."

"I will do my best."

"You always do, Shads."

With that Sonic wandered back to his spot against the wall, while Shadow turned his attention to the emerald, closing his eyes and truly trying to focus instead of being distracted by the blue hedgehog at his back. Unfortunately, however, other thoughts began to worm their way into the forefront of his mind instead. Namely the way Rouge had told him he'd be angry at everyone once he had his memories back, combined with an idle comment Sonic had made when he'd first arrived about how him being calm in their living room was 'different'. He felt compelled to speculate about the kind of person he was before he'd hit his head. Obviously he had friends, with how eager Sonic was to help him and Rouge's enthusiastic greeting of him, but Amy had been suspicious, and Knuckles indifferent. He was fairly certain that Tails based his reaction off of how Sonic acted around him, since the fox quite obviously idolized his brother. True as it was that it was a rather small sample size, he couldn't help but feel unease.

Minutes passed with Shadow too preoccupied with his troubled thoughts to even try to connect with the emerald. Finally, he had to admit defeat and let out a frustrated breath, opening his eyes to give the softly glowing gem stone a soft glare. "This isn't going anywhere," he grumbled, turning to find Sonic tossing a stone idly up into the air and catching it repeatedly.

"Really? Still no luck?"

"No. I'm afraid my thoughts are otherwise occupied so I'm finding it difficult to focus."

"I'm not still being distracting, am I? I swear, I'm being as quiet as I can!"

Shadow chuckled, shaking his head as he rose to his feet. "No. My mind just keeps wandering and I think I'm overthinking it. Focusing inwards was much easier."

"Fair enough. Can't say we didn't try," Sonic said with a shrug, tossing his stone away and getting to his own feet. "Let's go find Tails and say goodbye to Knuckles and Rouge."

"I'm sorry we came all this way for, ultimately, nothing," Shadow sighed as they began to walk through the temple.

"I wouldn't say nothing," Sonic wrapped a reassuring arm around Shadow's shoulders, giving the hybrid a friendly little shake, "We got out of the house and saw some friends. Even if we didn't get any real answers, that's something. Plus! Now you know how to work your shoes again."

"I appreciate your positivity."

"Regular ol' ray of sunshine, me."

"Somehow, I doubt that."

Sonic couldn't hold back a peel of laughter at Shadow's snark, grinning the rest of the way to where Knuckles and Rouge were audibly arguing again. He couldn't help but be a little bit astonished at how easily Shadow could read him and caught his demeanor change when he'd only, technically, known Sonic for a bit over a week. Some of the friends he'd known for years couldn't even get that good of a read on him. It made his heart do that odd little staccato in his chest again. He shook his head and let his arm drop from the dark hedgehog's shoulders as they entered the room where Knuckles and Rouge were arguing, quickly whistling to catch their attention.

"Hey! We're gonna head out," he said, smirking at the annoyed look the two gave him for interrupting their fight, "I'm worried Shadow is going to go bug eye if he stares at the master emerald for much longer."

"It's barely been ten minutes," Knuckles pointed out, folding his arms over his chest, "That is hardly enough time to connect properly to Chaos."

"Yeah, well, we're the fastest creatures alive, right? So, we should be able to connect to Chaos that much faster, and it's just not happening," Sonic said with an easy shrug.

"You sure you want to stick with Blue, sugar?" Rouge asked, letting out a short laugh as Shadow pointed at himself and mouthed 'me?' at her in surprise. "Yes, you. You're more than welcome to come back with me to Club Rouge. I figure the Hardy Boys over there will be getting on your nerves soon enough."

"Hardy Boys?"

Sonic rolled his eyes, hip chucking Shadow lightly, but enough that the hybrid took a step to the side to keep his balance. "They're characters in a book series. Two brothers who solve mysteries. But we," Sonic jabbed his thumb into his chest with a sneer to Rouge, "are way cooler than the Hardy Boys because we fight robots and save people."

"Mhmm. And solve mysteries," Rouge pointed out, cocking her hip with a smirk. "Anyway…It's an open invitation, hun. You ever get tired of living in a pigsty with those two and you can come crash at mine, okay?"

"Sonic's house is quite clean," Shadow offered, his ears twitching at the way Rouge scoffed quietly in disbelief and Sonic shouted a triumphant 'HA' at her. "But, thank you for the offer. I'll keep it in mind."

"Make sure you do," Rouge nodded, before giving them a little salute, "Anyway, I'm off, too. This one won't stop giving me a hard time, so I might as well book it."

"Good riddance," Knuckles grunted, looking affronted as Rouge stuck her tongue out at him, only to return the gesture with aplomb.

With that Rouge rolled her eyes and flapped her wings, lifting up off the floor. She gave them all a little wave, taking off down the hallway that Sonic and Shadow had walked to get there, brushing her fingers through Shadow's quills with a laugh as she passed him by.

"Well then, if there is nothing else I can help you with," Knuckles stated, gesturing down the hallway, "Get off my island."

"Always the most gracious host," Sonic hummed, letting out a whoop of laughter as Knuckles ran at him, quickly racing down the hallway, the echidna hot on his heels. Shadow simply shook his head and followed at a more sedate pace.

The following days were spent peacefully back in Sonic's house, though he did drag Shadow out of the house more than once to go for a run, the two figuring out together exactly how he could skate with his shoes to go at top speeds. Most, if not all, of their casual runs became races, ending in the two getting into a friendly argument about who the 'winner' was, which thrilled Sonic to no end when Shadow got that familiar little scowl on his face and puffed up his chest in self-confidence.

Their blissful little bubble could only last so long before it inevitably popped, however.

"Looks like I need to make another grocery run," Sonic sighed, already slipping his shoes on in the hallway.

"I'll come with you," Shadow said, rising from his seat on the couch, where he'd been re-reading the book of legends he'd picked up weeks prior.

"You don't have to, Shads. It'll probably be pretty boring," the blue hedgehog said, hand already on the door knob.

"It will give me an opportunity to get to know more of the town," Shadow insisted, sliding his own shoes on, "And Tails told me to make sure you remembered to get him his mints next time you went into town. This way I can be sure they won't be forgotten."

"Oh, ye of little faith," Sonic scoffed, but opened the door and gestured for Shadow to step through it. He bit his lip once Shadow had passed him, wishing he had come up with a better reason than 'it's boring' to keep Shadow at home. It hadn't occurred to him the first time he'd gone shopping, but he was pretty happy Shadow had stayed home once he'd given it some thought. The people in town knew who the hybrid was. Most people around the country did. A small handful of brave news reporters had made sure that as much of the fight between Sonic and Shadow as they deemed safe was broadcast across the country. He could only hope that the months between then and now had dulled most people's memory and no one would say anything to or about the dark hedgehog at his side, and that the handful of interviews he'd done after stopping the ARK, regaling Shadow as a hero, would help change the narrative a bit.

Luck was apparently not on his side.

The first bit of their shopping trip had been uneventful, with a short race to the shops, and a quiet meandering walk through the aisles. Shadow added odds and ends to the basket Sonic was carrying, while they enjoyed idle chit chat about meal plans for the week. But then one loud mouthed child spoiled it all by blatantly pointing at Shadow while tugging on their mother's dress and loudly stating, "Look, Mommy! It's the bad man from TV!"

Sonic froze, while Shadow simply looked confused, looking around behind him to see who the child was pointing at. When he found no one else in the aisle but them, he turned his gaze back towards the child who jumped and ducked behind his mothers legs. He opened his mouth to speak, only to be cut off by the child's irate looking mother.

"You should be ashamed of yourself," she seethed at Shadow, who took a quick step back, shock blatant on his face at being snapped at without provocation. She shot a dirty look at Sonic, who simply scowled right back at her. "I don't care what the news repots said. Bringing him out here, during the day, while there are children around?! Reckless endangerment!" With that she scooped up her child and stormed out of the aisle, leaving a bewildered Shadow and a livid Sonic behind.

"Sonic? Did…What just happened?" Shadow frowned, turning to Sonic in confusion.

"She was just being…intolerant," Sonic grumbled, shifting the basket on his arm, "C'mon. We've only got a few more things to grab and then we can go home."

Gathering the rest of the groceries was easy enough, as they only needed items in two more blissfully empty aisles. However, the cash register was a whole other ball game. There were only a few people in line as they approached, but once one person caught sight of them and made a rather undignified sound of fright, that caught the others attention and they all scattered, leaving a rather nervous looking cashier alone at the front of the store.

"This is becoming increasingly concerning, Sonic," Shadow murmured, glancing around at where all of the people had run off to while unloading their basket onto the counter.

"Ignore them," Sonic groused, shooting the cashier a withering look as they half ducked behind their register. Did the people really not trust him to know when there was an actual threat around? Not only was he insulted on Shadow's behalf at this point, but a little on his own, as well.

"If you say so," the hybrid muttered, stepping to the side while the cashier rang in their items with shaking hands.

Sonic paid quickly once the total came up on the screen, snatching up their bags in haste once the transaction was complete. The way everyone acted, as though Shadow was a ticking time bomb, grated on his last nerve. He turned to storm out of the store, only to find Shadow admiring a display stand of plants near the end of the register, completely oblivious to the customers peeking out from behind aisles and displays to wait until he was gone to finish their shopping. He felt his shoulders drop from their tense position at the soft smile on Shadows face as he gently touched the blooms of a tall lavender plant, watching with rapt attention as the hybrid closed his eyes and leaned in to take a deep whiff of the calming aroma the plant let off.

"Did you want one?"

"What?" Shadows eyes snapped open and he turned to Sonic, quickly retracting his hand from the plant as if he'd been caught doing something wrong.

"A lavender plant? They're meant to be soothing. Did you want one?" Sonic nodded at the purple flowers.

"Oh," Shadow glanced towards the flowers briefly before shaking his head, gesturing for Sonic to go ahead of him out of the store, "No, I don't think so. I seem to be making everyone in the store nervous, and you've already finished purchasing everything, so I think it would be best if we left."

"I can grab it, it's no big deal," Sonic insisted, only to grunt as Shadow slipped a hand behind Sonic and began to gently push him out of the store.

"I appreciate the offer, but I would rather avoid any further…unsavory interactions," Shadow stated, only removing his hand from Sonic once they were outside. "I also now have some questions for you, Sonic. And I think they would be best to answer at home." He gently took the grocery bags from the blue hedgehog, shooting him a meaningful look, before taking off the way they'd come in a blur of black and red.

"…shit."

It had never taken Sonic as long to get home as it did when he finally got his feet to move. Dread filled his stomach at the thought of what questions Shadow could have come up with after their rather harrowing trip to the grocery store. He swallowed thickly as he jogged up to his front yard, slowing to a walk as he came to the edge of the property for what was probably the first time since he'd owned the house. Upon stepping through the door he found Shadows shoes neatly tucked next to the door mat in their usual spot, which was at least a good sign. At the very least, it meant Shadow didn't have an immediate plan to take off from the house as soon as he got answers out of Sonic.

"Uhm…Where're you hiding, Shads?" he called into the house, slipping off his shoes and tucking them next to Shadows.

"I wouldn't call sitting at the kitchen table 'hiding'," came the curt reply from down the hallway.

Sonic visibly flinched at the hybrid's tone, taking a quick, deep breath to steady himself before walking into the kitchen with a forced smile on his face. "There you are!" he tried, only to be met with a flat stare. "Right," he sighed, ears flattening against his head as he shuffled across the room and settled himself in the chair across from Shadow, "So…what questions did you have for me?"

"I appreciate you not trying to beat around the bush," Shadow said with a slight nod, lightly drumming his fingers against the glass of water he had sat in front of himself. He let out a long sigh, letting his eyes slide shut, obviously centering himself before speaking. "Tell me…did you lie to me?"

"About what?"

"About who I am."

Sonic screwed his nose up, brow furrowed at the question. "You're gonna need to be a bit more specific, Shads."

The hybrid growled quietly under his breath, opening his eyes enough to glare down at the glass of water between his hands as though it had personally offended him. It was a rather familiar expression to Sonic, and he hated that he'd put it there. "About me being a hero, saving Mobius, being-," he grunted, the leather of his gloves creaking as he squeezed the glass, "being your friend."

"What? Shadow-"

"Do not lie to me again, Sonic," Shadow growled lowly, his piercing gaze cutting to Sonic, "Those people were terrified of me."

Sonic felt his shoulders drop at Shadow's glare, sinking slightly in his chair as he watched the hybrids quills stiffen and bristle. "I didn't. Not…not entirely."

The distinct sound of glass cracking reverberated through the kitchen as Shadow squeezed his glass. "Elaborate."

"You did save Mobius with me. You were a hero! You did grow up on the ARK, and you were created by a scientist named Gerald, to try and cure his sick granddaughter, Maria, who you were close with. All of that was true."

"But…?"

Emerald slid away from crimson as Sonic could not longer bear to keep eye contact with Shadow as he continued to speak. "But…when you were first awoken from being frozen someone manipulated your memories, making you think you were made to destroy, instead of heal and protect. And you…you attacked the city. You decimated a couple blocks before we managed to stop you, but it had all been televised. A lot of people saw you do it, so they're afraid. I tried to do damage control when I got back home, telling any news outlet that would listen that you helped me, but I guess people didn't really care since it wasn't something they could see happening in real time."

"…Is that all?"

Sonic cringed slightly, glancing up at Shadow, who was staring him down intently, the spiderweb of cracks in the glass he was holding making it obvious it was about two seconds from shattering. "A couple reporters managed to get hold of some sensitive information before GUN, the Guardian Unit of Nations, could shut it down. You were created with the help of some alien DNA that makes you able to channel chaos energy more efficiently than almost any other person or creature on Mobius. You can throw spears of chaos energy and teleport, which was shown on television."

"So….people think I'm a monster."

"But you're not!"

"How can you be so sure?!" The glass finally gave way with a resounding crunch, glass and water spilling across the table. Shadow quickly stood, gasping for air as if he'd just run a marathon. Sonic followed suit, rounding the table in a flash with his hands held out to catch Shadow should the hybrid try to run.

"I know you're not because I've seen how you look at this world. I've seen how happy you are just to read a good book or cook a delicious meal, or to just go for a run with me. You're good, Shadow. I promise you, you are not what those people think of you."

Shadow choked on his heaving breaths, angry tears brimming in his eyes as he grabbed at Sonic's outstretched hands, squeezing just this side of too hard. "Don't make promises you can't keep."

"I can!" Sonic snapped, twisting his hands in Shadow's grip to lace their fingers together, "The chao!"

The abrupt change of topic made Shadow startle, his grip loosening as a few of the tears in his eyes gently rolled down his cheeks. "What?"

"The chao, on Angel Island," Sonic elaborated, "They won't go near bad people. They're actively terrified of Eggman. One wouldn't have fallen asleep on you if you were a bad person. Trust me, Shadow. Please."

Shadow hiccupped, swallowing thickly as more tears began to trickle down his cheeks, his expression softening. "Did I hurt many people?" he practically whispered.

"I'd be lying if I said you didn't," Sonic offered, his heart practically shattering at the way Shadow dropped his head, ears pinned against his skull as a guttural sob ripped from his throat. Sonic felt tears threaten to gather in his own eyes, but he cleared his throat and gave Shadows fingers another reassuring squeeze. "We minimized casualties, and all civilians caught in the crossfire made full recoveries."

Slipping his fingers free from Sonic's grip, Shadow wrapped his arms around his torso, seeming to shrink in on himself. "How can you want to help me, knowing all of this?"

"I told you Shads," Sonic murmured, reaching out to gently place his hands on the hybrid's shoulders, expecting them to be shrugged off, but pleasantly surprised when they weren't. "You're a good person. I fully believe in second chances. And you earned your chance. Those people out there, they didn't see you in those moments when we pushed the ARK back into orbit," he said, a slow grin forming on his face as Shadow lifted his head to look at the hero as he spoke, "I never knew anyone else could use the chaos emeralds to go Super. So when I called on them to give me the strength to stop the ARK, and they leant their power to you as well, it was amazing. The look on your face was priceless," Sonic let out a quiet laugh at the sheer surprise on Shadows face, "Yeah, kinda like that. Your strength and determination in those moments were inspiring. And I'd be lying if I said your quills didn't look pretty cool in gold."

A quiet sniff left Shadow as he swiped at his nose with the back of his glove. "…Really?"

Sonic snorted, patting at Shadow's shoulders, reluctantly letting his hands slide away. "Yeah, man. And I'm sorry I didn't tell you the whole truth, before. I just…I wanted to see you happy. When we first met, you always looked so sad or angry. It was nice to see you with a smile on your face. I wanted that to last for you as long as it could."

"I…I appreciate that. And, truthfully, I'm not sure how I would've taken all that when I first arrived, so I guess it was for the best that you kept it to yourself for a while. It just…makes me wonder if I really want to get my memories back. Knowing how miserable I was."

"Amy's told me, before, that being sad or upset about something just means you had something to be truly happy about at one point. Dunno how much truth that really holds, but I think you've got memories you'd regret not getting back. You helped me save Mobius for a reason, and I think part of it was some of those memories."

Shadow sighed, rubbing at his eyes and nodding slightly. "I suppose you're right."

"I know I am," Sonic said with a grin, gently punching Shadow in the shoulder, his heart giving a happy little thump at the tiny smile Shadow offered him in return. "Hey, I've got an idea! Why don't I organize a little party? There are a bunch of people I've talked to about you who I'm pretty sure would be excited to finally get to meet you, and I think we deserve to have some fun after all this. How does that sound?"

"…that might be fun," Shadow finally agreed after a moment, offering Sonic a short nod.

"Awesome! Let's do it to it."

Of course, when Sonic said he'd organize a party, he'd really meant he'd ask Amy to do it for him.

"I brought you your favorite ice cream!"

"…What do you want, Sonic?" Amy sounded exasperated, but she still took the tub of ice cream from the blue hedgehog, quickly trotting into her house to put it in the freezer, knowing full well that Sonic would let himself in. She turned once the ice cream was safely stored, folding her arms over her chest and cocking a hip at the sheepish grin Sonic offered her from the kitchen doorway.

"I was hoping you could organize a little get together for me?" he asked, casually leaning against the door frame.

"A party?" Amy perked up a little, "What for?"

"Well…Shadow's been having a bit of a rough time this week, and I thought it might be nice for him to get to do a little mingling that wasn't me or Tails, y'know?"

"I should've guessed," Amy said with a roll of her eyes, but turned to pick a day planner up off her kitchen counter.

"What do you mean you should've guessed?" Sonic pushed himself from the door frame, posture subconsciously becoming defensive.

"Oh, it's nothing really," Amy said with a little wave of her hand, flipping open the planner, "It just seems like ever since Shadow showed up he's the only one you've been spending any time with."

"He lost his memory, Ames! Was I just supposed to give him a pat on the head and send him on his way?"

"Hey, hey!" Amy shot Sonic a look, causing the hero to deflate slightly, "No need to get all huffy with me. It would just be nice to see you without your thoughts being completely otherwise occupied. It feels like he's all you've talked about for months now." She let out a little breath, looking back down at her planner, "Anyway…when were you hoping to have this party of yours?"

"You'll really put it together for me?" Sonic perked up, his tail giving a little wag.

"For a price," Amy chirped with a little grin, pulling a pen from the coiled spine of her planner.

"I should've known," Sonic groaned, tipping his head back, his shoulders slumping as his tail went limp.

Amy simply giggled at him, turning back to her planner and jotting some notes down. "Oh, don't be so dramatic. I just want to go on a nice dinner date. No chili dogs or pizza, and no talk about Shadow. That sounds fair, doesn't it?"

"A dinner date? Really, Amy?"

"What? Can't a girl want to spend some quality time with her favorite hedgehog?" Amy gave him a wink, before going back to her notes, not catching Sonic's blatant cringe. "I can only assume you have no idea of when you want to have your party, but knowing you, you're going to want it as soon as possible…And given how quiet Robotnik has been lately, I think this weekend is probably a safe bet, and that should give everyone plenty of time to make arrangements to get here." She snapped her planner shut, arching a brow at Sonic with a self-assured smile. "If that sounds agreeable to you, all I need is your acceptance of my terms, and I'll get started."

With a short sigh, Sonic gave a curt nod, returning Amy's smile with a small one of his own. "Yeah, okay. One dinner date, no chili dogs or pizza, and no talk about Shadow in exchange for one party."

"Great! I'll organize it for Saturday at central park, since that'll give us plenty of space. Show up for noon, I'll make sure there's food," Amy hummed with a nod, "All you've got to do is show up."

"Thanks, Ames. You're the best," Sonic offered her a grin, chuckling at the way she seemed to puff up at his praise.

"I know I am," she chirped in reply, before pausing to tap her pen against her planner, "Though, real quick…What does Shadow like to eat? Does he have any favorites? If the party is for him, i should probably know what to cater it with."

"Oh, uh," Sonic blinked, chewing on his lip as he racked his brain for food he'd specifically seen Shadow eat or ask him to pick up from the store over the last few weeks. Truthfully, he was fairly certain the only food he'd seen the hybrid eat were the meals he prepared and shared with Sonic and Tails. Which, although he was sure any of those foods would work well for the party, he wouldn't consider any of them 'favorites' for Shadow. That was, until he recalled one specific morning when he'd woken up earlier than usual and walked into the kitchen without Shadow immediately noticing him. The hybrid had been dumping coffee beans into the grinder to make his and Tails usual morning pot of coffee, only to pause and stare at a few beans in the palm of his head. Sonic had initially thought that there was something wrong with those specific beans, only to be mildly shocked as Shadow tipped the beans into his mouth and chomped down on them with an audible crunch and a hum of satisfaction.

Sonic grinned at the memory, focusing back on Amy, who was giving him an odd look. "Coffee beans," he supplied simply, resting his hands on his hips.

"…Coffee beans?"

"Yup!

"Uh…Okay. Coffee beans, it is."

Thankfully, the rest of the week went by rather uneventfully and the weekend arrived before Sonic even realized what day it was. It was really only because he'd happened to glance at the calendar tacked up on the kitchen wall that he realized that it was Saturday. He choked on the chaos soda he'd been sipping at, whipping around on his heel to look at the clock, his heart ticking up in speed at the time. Amy would murder him if they were late to the party.

"Heyyyy, you're not making anything special for lunch, are ya, Shads?" Sonic asked quickly, turning to the hybrid, who had a bag of bread in hand and a confused look on his face.

"Just sandwiches?" he offered, lifting the bag a bit higher, "Why?

"I just thought, y'know what'd be nice? Going out! We haven't really gone anywhere since that trip to the grocery store, and it'd be nice to get out of the house and give you some better experiences," Sonic hummed, shoving his half empty can of soda into the fridge.

"We just went for a run yesterday?"

"Yeah, that's not the same," Sonic dismissed quickly, snagging the bag of bread from Shadow's hands and setting it on the counter, only offering the hybrid a smile as he was stared down in mild concern. "Why don't you go put your shoes on, and I'll go grab Tails!"

"Uh…sure," Shadow agreed slowly, shaking his head as Sonic zipped away to fetch Tails from the garage.

A short crash and a rather explicit curse on Tails part were quick to follow as Shadow slipped his shoes on, the hybrid genuinely worried as Sonic appeared in the front hallway with a rather irritated fox kit tucked under his arm, and a bruise quite obviously blooming on his hip. Sonic had his shoes on in a flash and darted out the door, waving at Shadow from the front lawn as the hybrid hesitated in the hallway.

"C'mon, Shads! Let's juice!"

Shadow let out a little breath, deciding it was probably best to simply go with whatever was happening and deal with any potential fallout later, rather than try and question Sonic when he was obviously a bit on the manic side. Once the door was locked and the keys were safely tucked into his quills, Shadow jogged across the lawn to meet up with Sonic, who was running in place with Tails rag dolling in his hold, the fox kit obviously having given up trying to get free of his brothers grip.

"Try to keep up!" Sonic chirped, taking off with Shadow hot on his heels a moment later, laugher trailing behind them.

Their arrival to the park was met with a cacophony of greetings from the large gaggle of Mobians that were gathered. Amy had really gone all out in sending out invites and making sure people would attend. Besides herself, Knuckles, and Rouge, she'd gotten Vanilla, Cream with her Chao Cheese, Team Chaotix, Big, Princess Sally, Bunnie, Mighty and Ray all together in the park for the party. A real who's who of Sonic's friends, and none of whom that would cast unfair judgement on Shadow. Sonic beamed, returning the greeting with one of his own as he released Tails, before turning to find a rather overwhelmed looking hybrid stood frozen next to him.

"Hey…Shads? You okay? I know this was sort of a surprise, but I did tell you i was going to throw a party," Sonic offered, only just now wondering if, perhaps, a large party hadn't been the best idea, all things considered.

"I-Yes," Shadow gave a quick nod, absently fixing his quills as his gaze darted over the dozen or so people meandering and socializing around the handful of picnic tables decorated for the party, "Yes, I'll be fine. There are just a lot of people."

"Lots of people who will love you," Sonic reassured, slipping behind Shadow to gently push him towards the party, "You're polite and charming. That's all you really need. Trust me."

"Polite and charming. Right," the hybrid absently echoed, waving awkwardly with a small, forced smile on his face as he was greeted by the party goers.

Sonic managed to introduce a small handful of the crowd to Shadow, and got to engage in about ten minutes of conversation before he found a peach arm winding around his own with Amy sidling up next to him, a happy little grin on her face. He sighed, but made no move to dislodge her as she easily injected herself into the conversation Sonic had been having with Shadow, Vanilla and Vector. When a natural lull in the conversation occurred, Amy gave his arm a little tug, leaning around his shoulder to offer an apologetic smile to Shadow, who gave the pink hedgehog an odd look for the way she was half hanging off Sonic's arm.

"Sorry to interrupt, but I just need a moment with Sonic," she offered, wiggling her fingers in a reserved little wave, which Shadow returned hesitantly, obviously confused as to why the motion caused Sonic to let out a snort of laughter.

"Did I do something weird?" the dark hedgehog asked, turning to Vanilla and Vector who were now also chuckling.

"Nah, man," Sonic shook his head, allowing Amy to drag him away, "You're all good. Be back in a flash." He sighed as Amy pulled him away, casting one last glance back to find Shadow fully engaged back in conversation with the others, more than happy to see how well the hybrid was doing. He only wished he could be over there as well, instead of being interrogated by Amy. "Alright, Ames," he slipped his arm free of her grasp once they'd stopped walking, "What's up?"

"I wanted to know your opinion on the party," she chirped, smile not diming despite the fact that Sonic was free of her grip.

"It's great. You did a really amazing job throwing it all together, especially since you did it in such a short period of time. I'm kinda surprised so many people showed up," Sonic offered, gesturing towards the picnic tables laden with snacks and the yard games set up off to the side where Charmy and Tails were cheating at ladder toss against Espio and Bunnie. He snickered as he watched Bunnie throw her toss too hard, the bola she was using wrapping itself around the branches of a tree.

"It wasn't too hard," Amy demurred, lacing her fingers in front of herself, "Once I told everyone the party was for you, it wasn't too hard to get them to agree."

"What?" Sonic looked back to Amy, light frown on his face, "But the party is for Shadow."

"Yeah, but most of them don't know Shadow, outside of what the news showed. You and I both know everyone here is willing to give just about anyone the benefit of the doubt, but trying to convince them to come to a party for a guy who tried to destroy the world would be like trying to convince the freedom fighters to celebrate Eggman's birthday," Amy sighed, her smile finally falling as she placed her hands on her hips, "And don't try to argue with me, you know I'm right."

"That's still a bit harsh, Ames," Sonic grumbled, crossing his arms over his chest.

"It's not like I'm disagreeing with you. I just did what I needed to, to make sure people showed up," Amy stated, pointing towards the party, "Anyway, look. I even made sure to have coffee beans on the menu."

The jubilant sound of a child screeching in disgust could be heard from the direction Amy pointed, to which Sonic turned his head just in time to watch Shadow grin and toss coffee beans into his mouth with Cream watching on with horrified fascination. He crunched the beans between his teeth and offered a handful to her, to which she loudly protested with a laugh, though Cheese did seem a little intrigued by the unconventional snack. Sonic chuckled at their antics, shaking his head slightly in amusement.

"…Oh."

Sonic frowned at the quiet word from Amy, quickly turning his attention back to her. "What? Is something wrong?"

"No…well, yes, but," she murmured, suddenly looking like a kicked puppy, "it's nothing you can help, I don't think."

"What're you talking about?" Sonic reached for Amy, only to be even more confused as she pulled away from him.

"Well, first, you could've told me you had started dating Shadow before agreeing to go on a date with me," she said a bit bitingly, clutching at the hem of her dress.

"Amy, seriously, what are you talking about?" Sonic borderline growled, trying to keep his voice low in case anyone from the party got close enough to eavesdrop. "I am not dating Shadow."

"No? Oh, please, Sonic," she scoffed, shooting him a half hearted glare, "With the way you were just looking at him, how could I not tell?" She paused at the irritated stare Sonic was giving her, a quiet gasp leaving her as her demeanor changed from upset to sympathetic. "Unless…? Oh, Sonic," she breathed, shaking her head, "Have you seriously not realized?"

"This is getting to be too much," Sonic groused, about to turn, but Amy's hand on his arm stopped him.

"Sonic…If I said I would give absolutely anything to have you look at me the way you were just looking at him, it would still be an understatement," Amy sighed, sliding her hands down to wrap them around Sonics, "You were looking at him like he hung the moon and stars. You looked so smitten. And all he was doing was playing with Cream and eating coffee beans!"

Sonic scoffed, wrenching his hand free of Amy's grip while taking a quick step back. "That's ridiculous! I'm just helping a friend!"

"A friend who you let move in with you and plan parties for because you want to make him happy after having a, and I quote 'rough week'. I don't remember the last time you threw a party for anyone that wasn't for their birthday."

"I didn't even plan this party, I got you to do it!"

"You still had the idea for it!"

"Only because I wanted Shadow to realize he's the good person I know he is! We ran into people in the grocery store who were petrified of him, and he had a break down in my kitchen! I wasn't going to let him go on thinking he was some sort of monster just because some people got the wrong impression of him," Sonic seethed, only to pause and glance around to make sure no one was paying the squabbling duo any mind. He quickly grabbed Amy and ducked behind a tree, ignoring her protest. "Look. I just want him to have a good time while he's missing his memories and not bogged down by all that crap that happened on the ARK. That doesn't mean I have feelings for him."

Slowly, Amy extracted her arm from Sonic's grasp, taking a swift step back once she was free. She took a deep breath, an uncharacteristic scowl on her face as she stared Sonic down. "Do you two get along?"

"Huh?" Sonic's irritation immediately dissipated at the sudden question.

"Do you two get along?"

"Well, I mean, of course…"

"Do you enjoy spending time with him?"

Sonic scoffed, cocking his hip. "What're you trying to get at, Ames?"

"Answer my question."

"Of course I do. He's one of the only people who can give me a run for my money in a race."

"Okay. Do you try to think of reasons to spend time with him?"

Sonic opened his mouth to make another asinine comment, before snapping his mouth shut to give that particular question some thought. Normally, when it had been a while between Eggman attacks, Sonic would run around, visiting friends or places he'd yet to see to keep himself occupied and entertained. But with Shadow staying in the house, he often found himself just as happy to stay home, sharing the time and space with the dark hedgehog as he read his own book or bustled around the kitchen making a good meal. He bit his lip, his shoulders slumping slightly. "I…I guess I do."

"Are you happy when you're together?"

"Yeah…"

"Do you like to make him happy?"

Sonic squirmed slightly, rubbing absently at his quills. "I mean, yeah, I guess…"

Amy sighed, staring forlornly at Sonic for a moment, before shaking her head and brushing her quills out of her face. "You don't need to go on a date with me as payment anymore."

"What? A deal's a deal, Ames-"

"Exactly," Amy hummed, brushing invisible dust from her dress, "It was a deal. And I decided to break it." She stepped around Sonic and the tree they hid behind, pausing next to the hero. "If I were you," she said quietly, "I would think about those questions I asked you." With that Amy walked back to the party, leaving a rather bewildered Sonic behind.

He stepped out from behind the tree to watch as Amy gave Shadow a hug, which he returned with a confused but contented little smile on his face. It made something twist weirdly in his chest. He took another quick step back, deciding that, perhaps, it'd be best if he took a run to clear his head, rather than stay for the rest of the party. Shadow and Tails could get home on their own, it wasn't like they were that far from the house. And with that thought, Sonic took off, ignorant of the pair of worried crimson eyes that watched him go.

The next day Sonic made a point of skipping breakfast and avoiding Shadow all together as he got his thoughts together. And then the next day. And the next. On the fourth day Tails finally blasted Sonic on his communicator, telling him to at least leave a note if he was suddenly going to disappear for days on end so Shadow would stop making him meals and expecting him to show up. It made Sonic's heart sink at the thought of Shadow sitting at the dining room table with his plate set out, waiting, only to be ultimately disappointed thanks to Sonic's cowardice and indecision. He grunted and kicked at a random piece of trash near his foot. Perhaps Amy really was getting at something with her crazy theory about him having feelings.

He sighed when he heard his communicator ping at him once again, finding a note from Tails to pick up some mints from the store on his way home, and a single comment that Shadow would like to speak to him whenever he got home. Sonic groaned at the request, raking his fingers through his quills and pulling. Amy made it sound so simple, but he still hadn't figured anything out. Though, he supposed that avoiding the issue wasn't really doing anyone any good.

Sighing heavily, he let his hands drop from his quills, glaring up at the sky for a moment, before kicking out and taking off back towards home. Running around and trying to think wasn't working, so he might as well face the problem head on and come up with something on the fly. It was how he came up with all his best plans in battle, after all.

In his haste to get home, Sonic very nearly blew right past the store, but at the last moment he remembered Tails' request for more mint candies. Given that the kid was probably pissed at him for disappearing without a word he would be remiss to show up at home without them. So, he dug his heels in and made a quick turn, making sure to slow to a jog as he approached the doors, not wanting to blow anything off the shelves or stands.

It only took him a moment to locate his brothers favorite candies amongst the shelves, speeding to the register once he had them in hand to not further delay the inevitable. However, it was as he approached the counter that he spotted them. The lavender plants that had offered Shadow some modicum of comfort during their disastrous grocery trip. He let out a slow breath as his mind drifted to the image of the hybrid looking so contented while smelling the flowers. Unhurriedly, he approached the display, reaching out to gently touch the blooms in the same fashion that Shadow had, getting light whiffs of their scent as he looked them over. The idea of taking one of them home to get to see that same expression on the hybrids face every day made his heart flutter.

And with that thought, Sonic knew exactly how he felt and what he needed to do.

Making his way home in a quick fashion with a potted plant in hand was not as simple as he'd thought it would be. In the end, he'd wound up having to walk home to keep the poor thing intact, which irritated him to no end, since taking his time was not ideal.

But finally, finally, he made it home.

He made his way into the house, carefully setting the plant down, finding the place to be eerily quiet. He slipped his shoes off, then made his way to the kitchen, tossing Tails' candies onto the counter, only to find a note there from the fox kit saying he was going to Charmy's place. Sonic thought it was a bit odd to leave a note when he could just message Sonic on the communicators, until he realized that it wasn't for him. It was for Shadow, since the hybrid still didn't have a communicator yet. He knew his brother didn't mean it as such, but it felt like a bit of a dig at his own lack of proper communication. He sighed and turned to lean back against the counter, now feeling a bit foolish for rushing home the way he had when it seemed like no one else was even there. Shoving himself from the counter after a beat and shuffling through the house, Sonic decided he may as well watch a movie or play a video game while he waited for the others to get back.

He froze upon reaching the living room, momentarily having forgotten that it was Shadow's make-shift bedroom. With the silence of the house he hadn't been expecting to find the dark hedgehog on the couch, but apparently he simply slept like the dead. Shadow was splayed out along the length of the couch with a book resting open on his chest, and a blanket tangled with his legs. Sonic leaned against the couch, taking the opportunity to admire Shadow as he slept for a few moments, before he reached down and gently shook his ankle to wake him up.

A swinging right hook was fully not what Sonic expected as Shadow woke with a shout, thanking Chaos that his reflexes were so quick.

"Good morning to you, too!" Sonic called from the other side of the room, where he had plastered himself against the book shelf to keep from getting hit.

"Wh-huh?" Shadow blinked owlishly, glancing around the room, arm still raised in the air as he slowly took in his surroundings. Sonic wished he had a camera on hand to capture the expression on the hybrids face, along with the way his usually perfectly quaffed quills were sticking up in every which direction from how he'd been positioned on the couch. Shadow finally blinked in Sonic's direction, a light frown on his face, before recognition lit up his expression. "Sonic!"

"Hey there, sunshine."

Quickly, Shadow stood from the couch, running his fingers through his quills to flatten them down, a light flush dusting his muzzle as he did his best to quickly make himself presentable. "If I'd known when you were to be home I would've made sure to be awake," he remarked, scooping his fallen book from the floor where it had fallen to set it on the coffee table.

Sonic felt a pang of guilt at the simple comment, rubbing at the back of his head as he shuffled back towards the couch. "Yeah, I…I'm sorry about that," Sonic sighed, pausing as he reached the side of the couch, "I should've at least left a note or something before I ran off like that."

"It's quite alright. Tails informed me that, when Eggman hasn't attacked in a while, sometimes you get stir crazy. He said it's not unusual for you to disappear for longer stretches of time occasionally," Shadow reassured, slowly pulling the blanket he'd been using from the couch and folding it.

"I mean, yeah, sometimes…but this time Amy said something to me that just got into my head, and-"

"So, she did say something to you…?"

"What?" Sonic frowned slightly, watching as Shadow set the folded blanket on the back of the couch.

"Amy," Shadow supplied, idly spinning one of his inhibitor rings around his wrist to keep his hands busy. "She said something to you. I figured as much, since you ran off after she took you aside ." He visibly steeled himself, dropping his hands to his sides as he looked to Sonic. "If she still thinks I'm untrustworthy to be here I can find somewhere else to stay. Rouge insisted once again at the party that I could stay with her, and Vector has also offered a place with the Chaotix. If my presence has become a problem, I can vacate at your leisure."

"What?!" Sonic felt his heart jump into his throat, quickly darting around the couch and grabbing at Shadow's shoulders, "No! No, of course I don't want you to leave. What Amy said, yeah, it got into my head but not-…It wasn't anything bad. It just gave me some stuff to think about. I needed some time and space to figure it out."

"Oh," Shadow let out a breath, shoulders relaxing as a small smile graced his muzzle, "I'm glad. I had worried that I'd done something upsetting without realizing again."

"No. The exact opposite, really," Sonic said with a light chuckle, letting his hands slide down Shadow's arms to gently take his hands. "I wanted to talk to you about that, actually. Oh! But first-" he quickly jogged over to the front door where he'd set the lavender plant, lifting it with a flourish, "I brought you a present!"

"The plant from the grocery store?" Shadow blinked, carefully taking the plant as Sonic handed him the pot.

"Yeah. It's not much, but I remembered how much you seemed to like it when we were at the store. Sorta seemed like it gave you a little moment of peace when everything else was sort of hitting the fan, so I thought you might like to have a little bit of that here. At home," Sonic offered, watching in rapt attention as Shadow brought the little purple blooms to his nose to take a careful sniff of the flowers.

"That's very thoughtful. Thank you."

Sonic flushed at the warm smile he was given in exchange for the plant, unable to contain his nervous energy as he began to tap his foot on the floor. "I…It was nothin," he muttered, rubbing absently at his arm. He winced slightly as Shadow lowered the plant, his eyes traveling down to Sonic's restless foot before moving back up to his face.

"Is there something else? You seem…agitated."

"Uh, yeah," Sonic cleared his throat, forcing his foot to stop tapping, though he then began to pick at a loose thread on one of his gloves, "Sorry, this is just…a lot. For me. And new."

"It's alright. Take your time. I'm not going anywhere."

Sonic let out a little puff of breath, a slow smile spreading across his face. "No. You're not, are you?" He cleared his throat again at the odd look Shadow gave him, forcing his hands down to his sides for a beat, before bringing them back up to cup around Shadows where he held the plant. "Shadow…I know we haven't really known each other that long, and maybe it was the chaos emeralds that brought us together at first, but…But I've never felt like this around anyone before. You treat Tails like family, you're an amazing cook, and you take care of us without ever needing to be asked. You keep up with me in every way that matters, and you make me happy in a way that is so unique to you, I don't even know how to describe it. I can't imagine waking up in the morning anymore and not finding you working on breakfast and sneaking coffee beans when you think no one's looking. Which, by the way, there's no point to, we all know you eat them," he paused as they both chuckled, "What I'm trying to say is…In my life, the way I live, and the things I do, opportunities fly by in a blink. So if you don't take them when they show up, they can vanish before you even realize what you've missed. And I don't want to do that with you. I want to take every opportunity I can get, and cherish them…Because I-I love you."

"Sonic…"

Ducking his head, Sonic let out a nervous little laugh. "You don't have to say it back. I know this is probably out of left field for you. But, you've been on my mind for months. It just took Amy pointing out how obvious I was being for me to finally get my head out of my ass and give it two seconds of thought to realize what I was feeling." Silence reigned for a few moments until Sonic finally lifted his gaze back up to find Shadow's eyes rimmed with tears, the hybrid breathing heavily as he was obviously trying to keep his emotions in check. "Uh…You okay?"

"Yes…No," Shadow hiccupped, tipping his head back and blowing out a breath. He took another minute or so to compose himself, before sniffing in a breath and bringing his head back down to offer the blue hedgehog a lopsided smile. "That was very sweet. I hope you don't mind if I take some time to think about it?"

"Of course not," Sonic quickly reassured, giving Shadow's hands a gentle squeeze around the pot before letting go, "Take all the time you need. Took me months, after all."

Shadow let out a bark of laughter, carefully setting the plant down on the coffee table. "Hopefully it won't take me quite as long to have an answer for you," he offered, wiping at his face hastily once his hands were free. "What I can tell you now, however, is that I'm happy to have found my way here. I'm happy that I've gotten to spend the time I have with you, Tails, and your friends. Even if I never manage to regain my memories, I think I would be okay with that if it meant I got to spend the rest of my days here. With you."

Sonic couldn't help the gleeful grin that spread across his muzzle at Shadow's words, his hands reaching out to cup the hybrid's face as he bounced on his toes. "It'd be more than okay if you stayed here, for as long as you'd like," he hummed, inching ever closer to Shadow, the hybrid letting out a low chuckle at Sonic's excited energy. "I'm going to kiss you now, if that's okay?"

"Please do."

That was all the permission Sonic needed to duck into Shadow's space, pressing their lips together with a pleased little hum. He tilted his head slightly to deepen the kiss as Shadow's arms wound around his torso, only to jerk back in surprise as the front door opened suddenly, accompanied by Tails loudly shouting that he was home. The three stood staring awkwardly at each other as Tails fully stepped inside and shut the door behind himself.

"Uh…So, what were you guys up to?" Tails asked, toeing off his shoes.

"Kissing," Sonic said with a cheeky grin, Shadow making a pathetic wheezing sound as he buried his face in a blue shoulder.

"I see," Tails said plainly, padding down the hallway, "Well, you two have fun with that. Glad you made up. Oh, but please make sure to keep it down. I'd really appreciate not having to find out what sounds my brother makes when 'being intimate'."

"Tails!" Shadow and Sonic snapped at the same time, both flushing as Tails disappeared into the garage with a cackling laugh.

"That was mortifying," Shadow grumbled, pulling away from Sonic enough to rub his hands over his face with a low groan.

"Eh, could've been worse."

"How so?"

"We could've actually been 'getting intimate'."

"Sonic!"

"What? I'm not wrong," the blue hedgehog laughed and landed on the couch with a grunt as Shadow shoved him away. He grinned up at the hybrid, enjoying the way Shadow's face scrunched up in embarrassment, lips twisted in a scowl and cheeks aflame. "Hey," he hummed, reaching out to tangle their hands together, giving a little tug so Shadow shuffled forward to stand between his knees, "I love you."

"I…How do I respond?" Shadow asked, leaning over Sonic, his embarrassment easily morphing into nervousness.

"You could kiss me again?" Sonic offered, cheeky little smirk curling his lips.

"If you insist," Shadow breathed, a smile finally returning to his face as he ducked his head down to press their lips together once more.

The following weeks were like a dream to Sonic.

After a bit of cajoling from Tails, Shadow moved his few meager belongings up to Sonic's room, where he began to spend the night curled up around the blue hedgehog. Normally, Sonic found any sort of physical contact at night stifling that wasn't strictly a blanket. It was why he had a queen size mattress to himself. However, for some reason, he was more than happy to have Shadow's head nestled under his chin, and his arms wrapped around his torso the whole nigh through. And in the morning, instead of waking up to the smell of breakfast cooking, Shadow would wake him up with a handful of gentle kisses peppered across his face before slipping from the warmth of their blankets to get ready for the day. It left the hero of Mobius feeling light and airy for the rest of the day.

The days themselves were not much different than what they had been before Sonic had confessed to Shadow, but there were little added surprises and delights that Sonic slowly got to discover over time. Like how Shadow apparently quite enjoyed Sonic surprising him with little kisses as he zipped past him on his way around the house, going out of his way to make a game of it to try and catch him to return the kisses, stating that he couldn't let Sonic get one up on him. Or finding out that Shadow liked to waltz by walking into the kitchen one afternoon as the hybrid set some music to play before getting started on dinner, only to be swept into a dance quite unexpectedly.

There were also the new prizes for being the winner in their races. Sonic was pleased as punch when he realized that Shadow was more than willing to give in to his demand for kisses if he won, no matter how out of breath the both of them were by the time they were done. One especially memorable race ended with Shadow pinned to a tree, snarling about Sonic being a dirty cheater to win kisses, but still melting into it when Sonic nipped at his lips and pressed his fingers into the dip on the hybrid's hip that he knew made him shiver. Sonic was fairly certain the only reason they hadn't just gone at it against the tree then and there was because Shadow noticed that they had actually wound up on a hiking trail and had expressed that Tails walking in on them kissing was one thing, but a total stranger did not need to get an eye full of hedgehog. Frankly, Sonic begged to differ, but Shadow distracted Sonic with a well placed roll of his hips before slipping free of the other's hold and taking off.

Sonic tried not to give too much thought to the fact that Shadow had yet to return his declaration of love, despite the fact that they were very much together. He could wait, even if being patient was slowly eating him up inside. Shadow deserved all the time in the world to figure things out.

Unfortunately, peace on Mobius seemed to be perpetually fleeting, so time was not really on their side.

Realistically, Sonic had known it was only a matter of time until Robotnik put together some new cockamamie scheme to try and take over the world. So, he couldn't really be too surprised when, a mere two months after Shadow appeared on his front lawn, he got a call to aid from Sally. Apparently, Eggman had managed to amass himself a new little army of heavies and miscellaneous badniks, topped off by Metal Sonic leading the charge.

"Go figure Egghead would choose now to attack," Sonic growled, glaring at the screen Tails had pulled up, detailing what they currently knew about the bombardment.

"It was going to happen sooner or later…Though, I do also wish it had been later," Tails grumbled, typing rapidly as data and videos flashed across the screen, "And with Metal Sonic leading the attack, you know he means business."

"Metal Sonic?" Shadow echoed, stepping up next to Sonic to look over the screens. He'd been elbow deep in the side garden when Sonic got the call, having taken it over when Sonic offered it as a spot to transplant the lavender to. He'd opted to finish up and take a quick shower while Sonic got debriefed from Sally over the communicators and Tails got all of the info the freedom fighters had to offer.

"Yeah…Eggman decided a long time ago that the best way to beat me was with a robo version of me. Every time we beat Metal he gets a new upgrade. Which has happened a fair few times over the years, as you can imagine. It makes him a real tough nut to crack," Sonic groused, tapping his toe impatiently on the floor. "We're gonna need all hands on deck, especially with those heavies backing him up."

"…Does that include Shadow?" Tails asked quietly, casting a glance over his shoulder at his brother, who bristled.

"No."

Shadow blinked, a frown immediately curling his lips. "What? Why not? You just said you needed all hands on deck."

"All capable hands. No offense, Shads, but you still don't know how to work your powers properly yet. You're fast and all, but we haven't exactly spent any time figuring out how you get your chaos spears to work. It's too risky to have you out on the field," the blue hero stated bluntly, folding his arms over his chest.

"Full offense taken," Shadow growled back, quills bristling as he took a threatening step towards Sonic, "All you are is fast. I can fight! Don't treat me like I'm fragile just because I don't remember everything yet."

"He's kinda right, Sonic," Tails added, spinning around in his chair, "Arguably, Shadow is the strongest person we know. Even without his chaos spears, he'd be an asset against Metal. You can't bench him just because you're worried."

Sonic reared back slightly, shooting Tails a glare. "I'm not worried."

"You blatantly are. You know Shadow is a good fighter, and he's as fast as you are. The two of you against Metal would be ideal, while everyone else takes on the heavies and badniks. You can't argue that battle plan is sound. You're just worried he'll get hurt, like the last time you fought together," Tails reasoned, anxiously fiddling with one of his tails.

"…Is that true?" Shadow asked, posture relaxing as Sonic bit his lip and looked away. "Sonic. You can't seriously want to endanger others just to keep me safe? We'd work better as a team to beat them now, before they advance too far. Listen to your head, not your heart."

Sonic growled low in his throat, ears pinned back as he glanced between his brother and partner, before looking back towards the screens where a video of Metal Sonic decimating a freshly evacuated house was playing on loop. He squeezed his eyes shut, hunching his shoulders for a moment, before throwing his arms up with a frustrated shout. "Fine! Fine. You're right," he half snarled, rubbing his hands over his face. "I just," he sighed, posture going slack as he looked to Shadow, his expression defeated, "I hate the thought of you getting hurt again because I wasn't fast enough."

"Give me a little credit," Shadow snorted, folding his arms over his chest, "I can take care of myself." And with the self assured stance and cocky little smirk that settled on his face, he looked every bit the ultimate lifeform he claimed to be while aboard the ARK, and Sonic couldn't help but believe him.

Getting to the fight had been simple enough in the Tornado. The issue was that once they'd begun to approach the battle field, Sonic and Shadow were almost immediately separated from everyone else by Metal Sonic. There was no time to dodge as Metal slammed into the Tornado as it flew in low to land, Sonic and Shadow leaping from the damaged plane to go after the robotic ruffian as he tried to lay waste to the freedom fighters first line of defense.

It didn't take long for Metal to lead them to Robotnik.

"Hey, hey, Eggy!" Sonic called, pausing on the battle field as Metal dashed off to his leader, "Took you longer than usual to try something. Getting slow in our old age, are we?" He shot a smirk towards Shadow, who simply rolled his eyes as he came to a stop next to the hero.

"I'll have you know that proper fabrication takes time," Robotnik snapped back, leaning over the edge of his egg mobile to shake his fist at the hedgehogs. He froze upon seeing Shadow stood next to Sonic, openly gaping and holding a hand out to keep Metal from advancing again. "Shadow?! What are you doing here?"

"I'm here to help stop your tirade against the good people of Mobius," Shadow declared, puffing his chest out in a self assured way that made Sonic snicker quietly next to him.

"Wh-Seriously? After all I did for you, this is the thanks I get? Family is supposed to stick together, you know," Robotnik grumped, slouching back in his seat.

"…Family?" the hybrid echoed, all of his previous bravado disappearing in an instant, "What are you talking about?"

"What am I talking about? Oh, only that Gerald Robotnik, my grandfather, created you? How hard did you hit your head when you crash landed? I thought I got Metal to catch you before too much damage occurred," Robotnik stated, waving a hand through the air, "The real question is, how did you manage to get caught up with the blue idiot and his little band of do-gooders? One minute you were unconscious in my med-bay, and the next you're gone."

"I-I don't-," Shadow muttered, shaking his head slightly, suddenly turning to Sonic, "Did you know about this? All this time, were you still keeping secrets from me?!"

"I didn't mean to," Sonic said quickly, shaking his head and waving his hands through the air, "Honest! It totally slipped my mind that Egghead and Gerald were related. I swear!" He quickly made a crisscross gesture over his chest, "Cross my heart, Shadow. With everything else going on, I genuinely just forgot."

"Convenient detail to forget," Shadow growled, turning his attention back towards Robotnik and Metal, "We'll talk about this later. For now, let's just deal with the mechanical menace and make sure everyone stays safe."

"Sounds like a plan," Sonic easily agreed, already dreading the conversation they were going to have to have later. Hopefully it would go better than the last conversation they'd had to have when Sonic purposefully left out details of the hybrids past.

"A disappointing plan," Robotnik snipped from above, finally lowering his arm to allow Metal past him, "You should choose who you side with more carefully, Shadow."

"I think I was plenty careful with my choice," Shadow bit back, quickly dodging as Metal slammed into the ground where he had been standing, leaving a crater behind.

"You tell 'em, Shads," Sonic called with a grin, zipping around Metal to deliver a swift kick to his head, making him lurch to the side.

"You are on thin ice," the hybrid hissed, dodging yet another blow from Metal.

"Right! Noted," the hero said with a strained laugh, moving in tandem with Shadow around Metal.

As far as Sonic was concerned, the fight that followed was relatively average when it came to battles against Metal. They exchanged blows, Metal got a leg ripped off, and overall it leaned in Sonic's favor, especially with Shadow at his side. He thought things were going relatively well, particularly when Metal's engine began to sputter out after an exceptionally swift round house kick from Shadow. However, Sonic really should have learned not to count his flickys before they hatched.

Metal was obviously getting desperate, his blows getting more wild and erratic as Sonic and Shadow gained the upper hand, his failure eminent and predicted, if Eggman's disappearance was anything to go by. Sonic should've known better than to take his eyes off of Metal for even a moment, but their fight had gotten closer to where the freedom fighters were finishing off the last of the badniks, and he couldn't help but check on them when he heard Amy shouting directions across the battlefield to Knuckles. Those precious few seconds were all that Metal needed to swoop in at the hero, claws raised to strike.

"SONIC!"

A grunt left the blue blur as he was body slammed to the side, time seeming to slow to a crawl as he twisted in the air, watching in horror as Metal's claws came down across Shadow's chest, digging into flesh and hurling him at speed into a pile of rubble. He gasped as he hit the dirt, winded and terrified as Shadows blood spattered across the spot he'd just stood.

"No," Sonic gasped, staggering to his feet just in time to intercept another blow from Metal, snarling in the robots face as he grappled with him. "Get out of MY WAY," he bellowed, quickly spinning and throwing Metal haphazardly to the side, not bothering to watch where the robot landed. "Shadow?!" He scrambled over the torn up landscape, hurrying to the hybrid's side, where he lay in a heap amongst broken cinder blocks and splintered wood. There was a large, open gash across Shadow's chest, exposing some of the white bone beneath flesh, making Sonic gag at the sight, and a prominent wound at his temple that was slowly oozing blood across the stone he'd apparently hit his head on. "No, no, no," Sonic's hands shook as he gently brushed his fingers down Shadow's arm, choking on air as his fingers hit the inhibitor ring around the hybrid's wrist. "Shadow?"

There was no time for Sonic to grieve his mistake, as the tell tale mechanical sounds of Metal dragging himself across the battle field could be heard close by. Swiftly, Sonic stood, icy fury on his face as he ran to where Metal was forcing himself onto his functional leg. With a low growl the hero spun and kicked the juddering robot to the ground, letting out a primal yell as he pounced, hammering Metal with swift punches before ripping one of his arms free of his body and tossing it aside. He finally sat back as the robot sparked and sputtered, his eyes flickering as his power cells shorted out. Sonic stood on shaky legs as Metal finally powered down, turning quickly to run back to Shadow, only to find Rouge and Tails huddled around him, the later hastily wrapping bandages around the gaping chest wound.

"He's gonna be okay, right?" Sonic practically wheezed as Rouge hurried to hold him back, Tails muttering something on his communicator when he caught sight of his brother.

"He's a trooper, y'know he is," Rouge reassured, keeping her hands firmly on Sonic's shoulders, even as he tried to push past her to get to Shadow. "The others were just finishing up when we saw you two over here. We're gonna get him the help he needs, Blue, don't you worry."

"It's my fault," Sonic murmured, wild eyes shifting from Shadow's supine form to Rouge's face, "I looked away for a second. I looked away for a second and he got hurt. Again! I-It's my fault."

"Hey now, sugar," Rouge cooed, wrapping her arms around Sonic's shoulders and giving him a gentle squeeze and he shuddered in her arms but refused to cry, "It'll be okay. You'll see."

Getting Shadow into a hospital was a bit of an affair, given that GUN almost immediately tried to take over his care and sweep him away to a secure facility once word got to them that he'd been active in the fight. Unlucky for them, Sonic was steadfast and stubborn, and since he had been the one to check Shadow into the hospital in the first place, the staff wouldn't discharge the hybrid without Sonic's signature. The subsequent argument with the commander had been explosive, but ultimately the hero of Mobius had won, and the commander was removed from the hospital for disturbing the peace. And so, Sonic found himself sat in a rather uncomfortable chair in a private room on the third floor of a hospital, watching over the still form of one Shadow the hedgehog, his hands wrapped around Shadow's limp fingers and his head bowed. It had been two days since the battle had taken place, and Sonic had barely slept a wink, not wanting to miss the moment the hybrid woke up.

"Mnn…Where am I?"

Sonic's head shot up at the raspy words, a brilliant grin breaking out across his face at seeing squinted crimson eyes glaring around the hospital room. He gave Shadow's hand a gentle squeeze, leaning in to try and catch the hybrid's gaze. "Hey! You've been out for two days. It's nice to see you awake. How're you feeling?"

"Like a truck hit me and I guzzled a bag of sand," Shadow grumbled, pulling his hand free of Sonic's grasp to rub at his face. The blue hedgehog took that as his queue to grab a glass of water from the table next to Shadow's bed, sticking a straw into it and wiggling it in front of the hybrid's face.

"This might help with the sandy feeling," Sonic hummed, smiling warmly as Shadow took it with a grumbled 'thanks'.

Once the glass was half empty, Shadow looked around the room once again, frowning a bit as he took in his surroundings. "So…where am I, and why are you here, hedgehog?"

Sonic reeled back like he'd been hit, blinking rapidly in surprise at being called 'hedgehog'. He hadn't been called that since the ARK incident. "Uh…you're at the hospital. We fought Metal Sonic and you got hit pretty hard. Apparently Metal actually managed to claw deep enough to scratch a couple of your rib bones. And, well…I'm here to keep watch over you, I guess."

"Hmm…Well, as you can see, I'm awake and fairly functional. You don't need to watch over me anymore," Shadow stated blandly, his stare cold and distant, holding none of the warmth that Sonic had grown used to over the last couple of months.

"I….right. Yeah," Sonic nodded quickly, lurching up from his seat, his heart in his throat and suddenly feeling like he was going to throw up, "I'll go let Rouge and the others know you're okay." With that he hurried from the room, swallowing down any and all emotions that threatened to tear free of him. The most important thing right now was letting everyone know that Shadow was awake, and then he could go lock himself in a bathroom and have a miniature meltdown over the fact that his partner apparently no longer remembered the last two months. Maybe it would be a bathroom halfway around the world. That sounded like a plan.

Once he made all of the appropriate calls via phone and communicator, Sonic took off. If there was one thing he was good at, it was running. He ran for what felt like days, not stopping until his legs threatened to stop working from exhaustion, and even then he pushed himself until he found the most secluded, out of the way cave he could to finally break down and weep. He wept for the scant period of happiness he'd managed to have with Shadow, and the kind warmth that the cruelty of the world had taken away from the hybrid. And he wept for the shattering of his heart, because he knew that with the return of Shadow's memories, and the grating reality of the world baring down on them, Shadow's heart would inevitably be closed to him. Tragedy had built steep walls around Shadow's heart, and Sonic very much doubted that he would be able to scale them again.

So, of course, he was quite surprised when a figure appeared in the opening to the cave, blocking the light of the setting sun. He lifted his head and wiped at his face, squinting against the light with red, puffy eyes, taking far too long to recognize the familiar upturned, red striped quills of his 'rival'. "What're you doing here?" Sonic grumbled, voice slightly raspy from crying.

"Looking for you, obviously," Shadow stated bluntly, striding forward and digging into his quills. He procured a bottle of water and held it out to the blue hero. "Here. You're probably dehydrated."

"Thanks." Sonic took the bottle, but simply held it in his lap, staring off into space, not wanting to meet Shadows eyes and see that same look of cold disregard again. Not yet, anyway. He jumped slightly as Shadow sat down next to him with a heavy sigh. He chanced a glance at the hybrid out of the corner of his eye, absently biting at his lip at the far away look on the others face. He stayed silent, wondering what Shadow might have to say.

"Rouge filled me in on everything that happened," Shadow finally spoke after what felt like an eternity, the sun having mostly dipped beneath the horizon in the meantime, "The fight and the time you spent watching over me in the hospital."

"Is that all she told you about?" Sonic finally cracked open the bottle of water, taking a slow swig.

"That's all she needed to," Shadow shifted, tilting his head so he could watch Sonic sipping at his water. "I remember. Everything."

The bottle of water paused halfway to Sonic's mouth, emerald eyes darting to meet crimson, a glimmer of hope in them. "…everything?"

"Everything."

Shadows eyes still weren't as bright as they had been while he'd been living with Sonic, but the blue hedgehog hadn't expected them to be. All he was truly hoping for was a spark of recognition and the warmth he'd lost himself in multiple times in the last few months. And lo and behold, he found it. His breath hitched as fresh tears pooled in his eyes, a hysterical little titter of a laugh escaping him.

"You could've probably given me more than two minutes to get reoriented before taking off like that. It was a real pain in the ass tracking you down," Shadow groused, leaning back against the cave wall.

"Sorry. I'd sort of just had my heart shattered into a million little pieces, so I wasn't really thinking straight," Sonic snorted, rubbing at his eyes, unable to wipe the dopey smile off his face.

"Mmm…About that," Shadow sighed, reaching over to tap at the water bottle, forcing Sonic to continue taking little sips, "I wanted to talk to you about our…relationship."

"What about it?" Sonic couldn't keep the nerves out of his voice, the plastic of the water bottle crinkling in his grasp as he crushed it slightly in anxiety.

"I wanted to ask you if it was something you truly wanted to keep pursuing, now that I'm…fully aware again."

"What do you mean by that?"

"Just, that I'm not the same hedgehog that you seemingly fell in love with. I haven't been that hedgehog since before Maria died. Truthfully, I don't know if I was really ever that hedgehog," Shadow murmured with a little shrug, "You fell in love with who I was. Not who I am."

"That's not true!" Sonic practically shouted, sitting up and forward, making Shadow jump and stare at him with wide eyes. "I know that's exactly who you are! Under the trauma and all of the shit life has thrown at you, that is who you are. You're warm hearted and kind, with so much love to give it hurts to watch people shy away from you. Shadow…I know you love eating raw coffee beans, the smell of lavender, and if you could you would spend days just sitting in a comfy chair, reading. You like old timey music that drives Tails nuts, you know how to waltz, and you absolutely shine when you tap into your chaos energy. Those are things I love about you, and they don't suddenly disappear just because you're hurting. Please. Give me, no, give us a chance. If you think you're so different now that you have your memories back, give me the chance to get to know who you are now and prove that I love you, no matter what."

Shadow sat, stunned into silence for a solid minute, until he finally swallowed thickly, blinking back obvious tears. "Do you mean that?"

"Of course I do. With every fiber of my being."

A tiny quirk of the lips was all the smile Sonic got, but it was like the sun itself was shining on him, even though it had long since disappeared beyond the horizon. "If you'd like, then."

Sonic let out a cheerful shout, tossing his half empty water bottle across the cavern absently, before shifting to sit on his knees, leaning into Shadow's space with a grin on his face. The hybrid leaned back, his ears tipped back in uncertainty as his space was encroached upon. "I'm going to kiss you now," Sonic stated, wiggling like an excited puppy, his tail a blur behind him, "If that's okay?"

Shadow blinked, his smile slowly returning as he realized what Sonic was doing. "Please do."

With another happy little sound, Sonic darted forward, pressing his lips to Shadows as he brought his hands up to gently cup the hybrid's face, letting his thumbs absently sweep along his cheek bones. His heart beat an elated staccato in his chest, having thought he would never get the opportunity to do this again.

When they broke apart, Shadow made a soft little humming sound, reaching up to take Sonic's hands from his face. He took a deep breath, giving the hero's hands a light squeeze as he licked his lips, obviously working his way up to saying something. Sonic stayed resolutely quiet, not wanting to break whatever fragile moment was building between them.

"Say it to me again," Shadow finally spoke, lifting his gaze to stare intently into Sonic's eyes.

"Say what again?"

"That you love me."

"What for?"

"Just do it, Sonic," Shadow grumbled, earning a light laugh from the blue hedgehog.

"A hundred million times, or more. As many times as you'd like," Sonic hummed, brushing his thumbs against the back of Shadow's hands, "I love you."

Shadow let out a breath, offering Sonic a soft, warm smile, one that Sonic knew was now only for him. "I love you, too."

[llycaons]

im finally feeling awake now so @pharahsgf this is the post I was talking about

foolish. reductive. immature. disrespectful. willfully ignorant. WRONG

[personasintro]

Mutual Help | 59

↳ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬; in order for you to pretend to be his girlfriend, he helps you with your sexual desires ⏤ he calls it mutual help

⇢ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: jungkook x reader

⇢ 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: fake dating au, fluff, angst, smut, slow burn

⇢ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: explicit language, explicit content

⇢ 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 18.5k+

⇠ 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯. | 𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐱 | 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 ⇢ 

Sometimes you decide on things by feelings or whatever seems right at that moment.  

You might've suggested something that has bit you in the ass right back. It didn't feel as satisfactory as it perhaps should have when you hinted on meeting new people. Although, it's a great opportunity for both of you to move on, even though just the thought alone leaves a bitter taste on your tongue. 

Not even the alcohol on it tastes as bitter. 

Regardless of what kind of opportunity it turned out to be, you had to do it. You're slowly losing it and being in Jungkook's presence alone is not helping. 

A jealous kind of person is not what you would describe yourself. When the word jealous comes to one's mind, they think of someone being possessive jealous in the worst kind of way.  You might've been possessive about people around you, but in a healthy way. 

Sure, the thing with Ester is not the greatest example of it, but that was something different. 

There's something building up, something you haven't experienced with Jungkook before. You were jealous in the friendliest possible way. You don't want to dwell on it more than necessary, but with Ester, you were scared of her becoming Jungkook's close friend. It sounds terrible this way, perhaps a little toxic too – it's hard to describe and put it into the right words so one could understand it clearly. There are parts where even you don't understand it.

You're confident about what you and he have. From the moment you met to the point where your friendship is at. Even that is a bit debatable, but you don't want to go there. Not right now. And possibly not in the near future. There are certain things you don't want to think about. 

Ones you're scared of.

Still. Seeing Jungkook having another friend who he genuinely gets along with, in a meaningful way caused you to act on the void you felt. 

But jealousy is a human emotion nevertheless. And you totally hate it at the moment. 

Because there's no Ester or any possible special friendships to be made. This is different. 

Why the fuck you hate staring at Jungkook and Nara. That's what she's named and introduced herself as when she happily sat behind Jungkook, holding his waist as he drove them through the small waves on a jet ski. 

Clearly, sharing a meaningful connection called friendship is not on top of her list. She's smiling the entire time they talk about whatever, even though it's the most casual topic. She's not the typical giggling type that smiles to whatever that's being said just to flirt. She seems genuinely interested in Jungkook. Maybe a little bit too much. 

Okay, definitely. 

Tap. Tap. Tap.

You tap your fingers on the table, sun setting down as you watch Jungkook and Nara taking a fucking walk along the beach. You hate that after three drinks, you still have your stomach crumbled and twisted around.

There's no reason for you to be mad at Jungkook. You told him to meet people. You freaking hinted about him trying to get it on with other people. Okay, maybe you're irritated he took it seriously and clearly goes for it a little too soon. You also told him you'll be fine here while they go on a walk alone.

“So it's just you two here?” Gabriel asks next to you, catching your attention for the hundredth time in the past three hours. Yes, that's how long you've been spending your time with them. 

They're fun and friendly. Nothing bad about them. Clearly young people who want to have fun. They're relaxed, fun and outgoing. 

So why the hell would you rather have Min Yoongi here than having to witness all of this?

Mentally shaking your head at your ridiculous thoughts, you turn to Gabriel and tear your eyes off those two. You give him a stare that tells him enough about your suspicion by that sudden question. 

“Relax, I'm just asking.”

“And I should believe you because?” you question him. You might've appeared slightly cold toward him. You're not sure if his friendliness wants to aim somewhere else and to something more, or he's just that outgoing. 

Clearly, he doesn't want to back away because he's been very persistent. You give him that. 

There's a slight spark between the tug and pull game. But it's not the one you're looking for. 

“Because I'm telling the truth.”

There's chatter and laughter going from the other people you've been introduced to. You don't remember all of their names though. You hope you won't have to see them after this. God, that sounded so harsh. They're nice, you swear! But!

They don't give you any attention which makes your conversation slightly more comfortable. 

“You're still a stranger. How do I know you're telling me the truth?”

“So just believe me–”

“That literally goes against–”

He laughs. He's handsome. Has a sharp jawline and a cute smile. “You're a piece of work.”

“I know. I'm amazing.”

He can't seem to drop his eyes off you. You've experienced those before. Which is why you're not sure if he's honest about that or if it's the trick of flirting with you. It seems like men always have some kind of ulterior motive behind their behavior. 

You don't hate men. Even if it looks like it. You just don't trust them. 

Unless they are Jungkook, Jimin or Taehyung. 

Surprisingly, at least Gabriel doesn't annoy you in the Min Yoongi type of way. He's nice, not pushy and annoying which you appreciate. 

You glance at him fully, both of you chuckling at your ridiculous conversation. 

There's a deeper meaning behind his question. For the first time, he showed more of his prying persona. You can't blame him. It was bound for people to question it. You've grown used to it.

“Yes, it's just me and Jungkook.”

He nods, already knowing this but traces his glass. He had one beer an hour ago and after that one, he switched to lemonades. Somehow, you find that a little attractive. 

“Our friends were supposed to go with us, but it didn't work for them unfortunately.”

He already knows you're staying at one of the beach houses, which to their expressions, they were a bit surprised to hear that. It's a more expensive side of the beach and while they're staying nearby, it might sound suggestive that you two alone are where families and lovers mostly stay. 

“Didn't work how? What if it's their way to get you together alone?” 

His question has a light tone full of teasing and suggestion, knowing exactly where this is going. He's trying to figure out your relationship with Jungkook, probably not believing two best friends that are on a vacation are only that. Friends. Well, that's quite debatable in all ways but you're not exactly going to share a full depth of anything related to your actual relationship to Jungkook. 

Gabriel doesn't give you any vibes of being a snitch, but he's still a stranger. A handsome one but not even his pretty face could make you spill the tea. Anyway, he's definitely not asking because he's skeptical but mostly asking for himself. 

You would've had to be blind and dumb not to notice his undeniable attention and interest aimed toward you. It's flattering and a compliment, really. More than anything else.

“Well, one of them ended up in a hospital with broken toes, so I would like to think he didn't do it on purpose.”

“Ouch.”

“Exactly,” you deadpan, sipping more of your drink. 

He grins. He has a cocky twist to his smile. There's no denying he's a catch wherever he travels.

“Even though, you never know with him.” you say, watching Gabriel's confused look before you shrug and chuckle under your breath. 

Taehyung loves himself too much to hurt himself. No matter how much he would love you and Jungkook messing around more.

Speaking of him, you glance back at the couple walking down the beach. There's nothing special or weird about it. They're just walking beside each other, there's even some distance between them now. Is Jungkook listening to your previous words and just trying to – you don't even know how to name it. 

Is he trying to get to know someone else in hopes of getting more?

Is he planning to hook up with anyone from this group? 

Because he totally could and there would be nothing you would do about it. But why should you in the first place? It should not bother you. You should be in the front row hyping him up to do it. You should smack his shoulder and tell him to go for it, like all the guys do.

So why can't you?

You believe it's because you've never experienced anything similar to what you have with Jungkook. Obviously, he's more than the sex God you've portrayed him as in your head. He's definitely more than that. But speaking just about that alone, the thought of him going for someone else and showing that side of him to some stranger he just met, honestly bothers you. It's too soon. And you know if you weren't too thoughtful, you wouldn't be in this position because you would've kept hooking up. 

You wouldn't have to worry about him suddenly having sex with someone else. He would never do that when he's intimate with you. 

Fuck. Why are you even thinking of all of this? 

You did what was best for you and him. At the end of the day, it's just a matter of time before something like this happens. And you know it will and you're going to be okay with it. You will move on.

But perhaps you rushed into it. You've panicked and indirectly told him to just have fun. Without you. In that exact sense you're thinking of. 

He's smart. Of course he caught onto the meaning right away and something tells you he's doing exactly that. You can't even be mad at him because you told him. You were the one who encouraged and pushed him to move on.

“I didn't mean to pry,” Gabriel speaks up, reminding you of his presence and your cheeks heat up even more under the sun that's barely up there.

You try to cover up your staring by looking at the sea before finally looking at him. He couldn't see the exact direction of your vision, but he could've guessed because they're right there. 

“I just find it interesting.”

“Interesting?” You frown in confusion.

“You two.”

“What's so interesting about two best friends? Because one is a female and the other male?” 

His brows shoot up, catching up onto your slightly offended tone. “I didn't mean it like that.”

“How did you mean it then?”

He hesitates, but your lifted brow that demands a response causes him to lick his lips as he sighs. “You've been checking him a few times now.”

You grit your teeth together. Not because you're offended that he indeed noticed, but you're embarrassed that he did. 

“I've been checking on my best friend.”

“Alright, alright,” he chuckles, trying to play it off as he puts his hands up in surrender. “I wasn't really trying to suggest something else. I just noticed that your friendship seems… special.”

“And it is.”

He nods, wrapping his hand around the drink as he picks up on the small droplets. “Nara won't bite his head off. She's cool.”

“I wasn't suggesting anything else.” You throw his words back at him. He notices, the left corner of his lips twisting in a smirk but he doesn't say anything about it. 

“Would your friend bite my head off though?”

You arch your brow at him, “And why would he do that?”

“I don't know, maybe for trying to get to know you?”

“You're getting to know me.” you point out, knowing what he's hinting at but you're playing it off. An amusement dances in your eyes and he sees it, his smirk only getting bigger but the determination of getting straight with you is even bigger. 

“I am.” he hums. 

“Well, I can't promise anything. Jungkook is protective.”

“Surely he would understand I don't have any vile intentions. I mean, you're single, right?”

You gulp, stopping for a moment. You could possibly make some kind of situation. You're single but you weren't exactly free and down to meeting someone else. For multiple reasons. You could tell him you just got out of… relationship that had nothing to do with dating. Simply said, you could tell him you had a fuck buddy and now you're just focusing on yourself.

But considering your previous topic, he could easily catch on and for some reason, you don't want to risk it. You don't want any strangers knowing about you and Jungkook. It seems awfully personal and intimate.

“I am.” you mutter.

“So? He can't chase all men away from you.”

And he probably won't. 

“I don't know… he did punch a guy for me.”

“What?” he deadpans. 

You chuckle, “He was my ex. Said some nasty stuff. Kook didn't like it.”

“So he… punched him?”

“Mhm,” You take another sip. “He did deserve it though.”

“I would never say nasty stuff about you. Or any woman.”

What are you supposed to do with that information?

“Never say never.” you shrug. 

“No, I mean it. I wasn't raised like that.”

“I don't think he was either. But sometimes we don't know ourselves. And sometimes we can surprise ourselves too.”

“I get that, but if your friend had to punch him for it, he obviously wasn't good.”

You look at your drink that's slowly disappearing. You should slow down. “He's not a bad guy.”

“Doesn't sound like it.”

You roll your eyes, “You've got an answer for everything, don't you?”

“You seem to be just the same way.” he points out.

“You've known me for a few hours, Gabriel. I could be a total bitch or a completely different person than you've made up in your head.”

“And that's why I would like to know you more.”

You stare at him. 

Having to be in similar situations a few times, this time feels slightly different. Even though he's determined, he's not annoyingly pushy. He's good looking and has something in him that makes you flattered that he's not backing down. Showing a clear interest in you is not something you would gag at or roll your eyes like you usually would have. 

“So if I wanted to invite you for dinner, lunch… whatever you want it to be, would you go?”

“Are you asking me on a date, stranger?”

He chuckles, shaking his head. “I'm asking to hang with you and get to know you.”

“Umm, isn't that the definition of a date?”

“Could be,” he shrugs, “But I'm from Italy and you live on the opposite side of the world.”

“Exactly.” you point out. 

“Oh come on, just say no if you don't want to.”

“Are you looking for a hook-up, Gabriel?” you question him, not wanting to beat around the bush. Somehow, you know he's honest but you have a hard time believing he's just interested in getting to know you. 

Why? 

Like he said. You live in different countries and both of you don't look like the type to have a long-distance relationship. 

He starts coughing, taken back by your sudden straight-forwardness before he laughs, finding some amusement in it. “If you want to.”

“Is that why you want to get to know me?” 

“No.”

You look at him skeptically, “I'm sorry, I just find it hard to believe.”

“Then I'm disappointed by the man you've encountered.” 

“Hey, I have amazing men around me.”

Two of them probably broke more hearts than any of these people in this group, but they're amazing men regardless of it. It's the fact they never did it intentionally. And Jungkook is the definition of a perfect guy. Perfect in terms of loving and thoughtful person who would give everything to his loved ones. 

“Never said you don't. You love your friends very much, don't you?”

That goes without a question. He sees the look on your face and it causes him to smile. For some reason, he seems smitten by you. Of course he does, look at you. You're amazing.

“You could say they're my second family.”

Perhaps if they were actually here, things would've been a lot different. That goes without debate. 

Taking in the silence that follows, you can't help but glance in the direction where Jungkook and Gabriel's friend are walking down the beach. However, they no longer are and instead you find him taking pictures of her. She makes poses, showing off her toned and tanned body. And then she walks up to him, clinging to his side as he shows her the results. She seems to be impressed, as far as you know, it's hard to see it clearly from this distance. 

And it's for the better, honestly.

“Listen, it doesn't have to mean anything more. Just us hanging out over a good dinner… or a lunch.”

Gluing your eyes back to Gabriel, which seems to be the safer choice, your eyes run over his features as you take a breath – realizing your stiffened posture before you relax.

“I don't have any sick intentions.”

“You know… you constantly making sure I know that kinda makes it harder to believe you.”

He laughs, shaking his head as he smiles at his drink. Your teasing brings some peacefulness into this conversation again. “Just let me know your decision. Take your time.”

You give him a smirk, knowing you're kind of running out of time. Both of you know it and that's why you both grin at each other. Before any of you can say something, the approaching chatter interrupts you. Jungkook and Nara join you, she says something which makes Jungkook smile and that's when he looks up. Your eyes meet and you straighten yourself, ignoring the way your heart squeezes.

“What's up,” Gabriel says next to you, looking at Nara who seems to joyfully sit down and take a few sips of her drink. 

“Got some nice shots. Jungkook here is pure talent. I'ma show you later.” she says, smiling at Jungkook at the compliments she's giving him. 

The corner of his lips turn slowly up before he glances back at you. Looking away, you poke the back of your front teeth with your tongue.

“What's your plans for tomorrow? We were thinking of visiting the water park here. It's brand new and apparently very fun. You wanna join us?” Nara asks, reaching for a bowl of fruit that Gabriel has ordered. “Anyone?” she points at the bowl. 

Everyone shakes their heads before her previous question still sits in the air. She glances between you and Jungkook, awaiting your answer.

Once again, you look at each other without saying anything. 

“They probably have different plans, Nara.” Gabriel notes, shrugging.

Not wanting to let them know about the lingering tension that somehow remains between you two, you take matters into your hands and give Gabriel a smile. “We don't yet, not definite but we'll think of something.”

They seem to be settled with that before the conversation moves to something else. Somehow it seems unfinished and by the time you and Jungkook are alone, walking back to your beach house, the feeling intensifies.

“So what about tomorrow?” 

Jungkook is the first one to speak up once you get inside, a few minutes spent in silence after both of you are finished with your shower. You cut strawberries for yourself you got at the market earlier this morning. 

“I don't know. We don't have any clear plans, do we?” you hum.

“We could look around the Island. See what's up there and decide then.”

“Sounds good.” 

Jungkook stands behind you, in a safe distance but you can feel his eyes burning your back. However, he doesn't make a sound before a silent sigh leaves his mouth.

“Then what?”

“What then?” you frown, focusing on your cutting as he walks up to you. He leans against the counter with his lower back, crossing his arms over his chest. Luckily, he has put a t-shirt on. One second staring at him topless and you would be done for.

He's staring at you. You know he is, yet your eyes stay glued to the cutboard while you're taking your time with cutting the strawberries more precisely than it's necessary. “The water park. You wanna go?”

You halt, pursing your lips slightly. “Do you?”

He sighs again, “I think it would be a nice plan if we feel like it after we're done with the sightseeing.”

You stay silent before he taunts;

“Don't you?”

Your jaw clenches, “I think you should go if you wanna go so badly.”

He laughs sarcastically, “What?”

Fuck. You and your mouth. Composing yourself, you shrug before you put down the knife. “Didn't they want to go during the day?”

“Nara told me they will probably go in the afternoon. The heat is supposed to be crazy tomorrow, it's better to go later in the day.”

Of course, she did. Anything so she could go with Jungkook. 

While that little comment sounds bitter in your mind, you do know Nara wants him to go. And you should not feel angry or annoyed at it. Maybe that's not why you're annoyed at it at all. It's simple knowing that Jungkook wants to go. 

So forcing yourself to smile, you get the courage to stare him in the eyes. “You go if you wanna. I've got plans in the afternoon.”

Silence. For a split second. 

“What?”

Another follows and you wet your lips as you shrug. “I'm going out with Gabriel.”

Well, he doesn't know it yet. He's waiting but you're guessing he will be more than glad to skip the water park. If he doesn't, that's going to be incredibly embarrassing for you and your ego.

Jungkook tongues his cheek, looking away as he scoffs silently. But the overbearing silence makes it ten times louder. “I see.”

“Jungkook–”

“Is this how it's gonna be?”

You gulp, “What do you mean?”

“We came here to spend time together but we spend it separately? Is that how desperately you want me gone?”

“Jungkook!”

He lifts his hand up, the point finger up as he motions for you to be quiet. “I'm going for a walk.”

“You don't have to–”

You don't get to finish it, he brushes past you and is gone before you can take another breath. 

One of the worst habits you possess is the need to spill out anything that bothers you to someone. That someone is in most cases Jungkook, purely because he gives the best advice and comfort to anyone who needs it. He never judges and he just… gets it. He's that person you come to and can tell him anything, somehow the words he says or his mere presence is helpful enough.

For clear reasons he's not available – nor would he be suitable since he's the main reason why you're bothered in the first place. You're the one who messed up. For a moment you wondered whether you should go after him, to talk it out like any healthy person would do. But once you got out of the door, he was nowhere and to be walking alone around the Island with no one by your side is not something you wish to risk. Even though it seems to be safe here, you know he wouldn't be happy if he came back and you weren't here.

Or maybe he wouldn't care. 

You would like to think he would. It's still Jungkook. No matter how many times you fight or there's tension, it's still him. But it feels wrong to count on this all the time, even though it's basic knowledge.

Sure, you've got other friends. 

You wouldn't want to include Maya here. Purely out of knowing what her response might be – you've got to be a little selfish here because you know that's not something you want to hear right now. Anyway, she's probably planning her wedding or spending time with Namjoon. It feels rather awkward to be reaching out just because you find yourself in trouble. By your own responsibility.

But right after Jungkook, Jimin and Taehyung came. 

Jimin is someone who gives you the hard truth, sometimes even scolds you but with the greatest intention. That's not something you need right now either way.

And Taehyung?

He makes everything look easy with the way he sees the world and particular problems. There is barely any problem in his world. He says fuck it on most things with his optimistic persona. He simply just doesn't care. 

Therefore, he's the safer choice than Jimin.

Luckily, once you call him and he's alone, you briefly mention the issue here. You kept it safe for your own sake or selfishness. However, you didn't have to mention anything because he questioned Jungkook's absence right after he complained about Jimin and the fact he brings his girlfriend almost everywhere.

When even Taehyung is silent, you're glad you've chosen a phone call instead of a video one. 

“So, let me get this straight… you go to Hawaii together but you're about to spend it separately?”

“Well–just tomorrow afternoon. I didn't think it's such a big deal.”

“But you purposely encouraged him to–I don't even know how to call it–go and find fun somewhere else?”

You gulp, regretting now that Taehyung's words bite you in the ass. He's right though. “We met this group of girls and–I didn't want him to focus on me only. I want him to have fun.”

Okay, that's half of the truth but it works. You did more for yourself than for Jungkook, naively believing that it will be better for him. But that backfired and it seems he doesn't feel like it's better for him.

“And didn't it get through your pretty head that maybe, just maybe, he wants to have fun with you?”

“Tae–” you sigh.

“Not that kind,” You can tell he has rolled his eyes. “He just wanted you two to have fun in there. I'm pretty sure he didn't think with his dick when he wanted you to go.”

“I didn't say that.”

“I know, I'm just saying.” he hums, “Maybe he feels rejected?”

“What? You think so?”

“I think Jungkook has had a lot planned for the two of you and he imagined he would spend it with you. Not with both of you having fun with someone else, instead with each other.”

“I thought it's better this way.” you mumble. 

Silence follows and you're not sure whether Taehyung heard or not, but you hear his soft sigh on the other end. “You do your thing tomorrow and he will do his. Or just spend the afternoon the way you wanted, just with each other.”

“You make it sound so easy.”

“Because it is.”

“Tae, we were invited. I was asked for lunch–or dinner–whatever.”

“So? Fuck anyone else,” There it is. “Anyway, is the girl hot?”

“What.”

Taehyung laughs, “The girl that so seemingly goes after our Jungkookie.”

“I never said she's going after him.”

“You didn't have to, babe. It's clearer than Jimin's questionable choice of a girlfriend.”

“You're being rude, leave Jimin and his girlfriend alone.”

He snorts, laughing as you join. “I would ask you to send me pictures of the girls, but I kinda don't want to. I would regret not being there.”

“Can you not think with your dick when your friend here is in crisis?” you mutter.

“You got yourself there, hun.”

“You're not helping.” you grit through your teeth, hearing him laugh.

“Look, just talk to him. You guys communicate well. Well–it's bumpy these days but you got it.”

“How's your leg?” you ask instead, listening to Taehyung's complaints while your mind is elsewhere.

When Jungkook doesn't come within an hour, you're seriously starting to get worried. He has left in a hurry, therefore has forgotten his phone that mockingly sits on one of the small tables. Even though he's a man, you're worried for his safety no matter how safe this Island seems to be. 

Just as you're about to grab your things and go search for him, the door clicks open and there he is. 

Head low and almost looking like a kicked puppy, you debate whether to jump on him to hug him or slap him for making you so worried. If the roles were reversed, there's no doubt that he would search the entire Island for you. And that's not exaggerating at all. 

Yet, you stand there – waiting for him to look up and be stopped by the glare you're giving him across the room.

“Where the hell have you been?”

You're angry. More at yourself than anyone else, but him scaring the shit out of you comes handy at the moment. 

You know that defeated look. You both hate fighting. It's crazy you've never been through such hard times in terms of fighting than you have in the past year. Sure, looking at it optimistically, you've learned to communicate better. Sometimes. 

Not particularly now. And you know some of it is mostly your fault now. 

Being honest means much more than just that. 

However that once mentioned defeated look is long gone. As soon as that tone and words leave your mouth, he glares at you with those intense dark eyes. 

It doesn't matter that you sound like a mother scolding his son for coming home late. 

“I went for a walk.” he says calmly, but there's something on the tip of his tongue. And his face says it all. I told you that.

You scoff. Before anything else can be said, he simply walks past you and you watch at the spot he just stood at in complete disbelief. 

“That's it?”

“What else do you want me to say?” he offers, giving you I don't give a fuck attitude as he plops on the couch and stretches his legs on top of the table.

He grabs his phone and scrolls down through his notifications. He must know he forgot it here. There's no way he doesn't know now. But there's no sight of realization or anything. He simply seems like he doesn't care.

Not about that and certainly not about you stomping to the room. 

“Are you serious now?”

He looks up from his phone, moving only with his eyes and you're stunned for a second. He's waiting. 

“If I stormed out like that, you would give me hell for it!” you scold him.

“I told you I went for a walk. We both needed to cool off.”

You fumble over your words and try to make sense of them. 

His eyes say it all. It looks like you haven't.

“Yeah, without your phone and you were gone for an hour!” 

You watch him stare at you for a moment, sighing as he tosses his phone on the couch. “I'm sorry.”

The surprise on your face is evident. 

“I forgot it. Didn't realize I was gone for so long.”

Well, an hour isn't so long but yeah, it felt like it. Especially the way he left.

You relax, a soft puff of breath leaving your lips before you nibble onto them with your teeth. You come closer, your knee resting against the armrest. 

“I will cancel on Gabriel.”

He frowns, almost confused why would you do that. For a split second you feel embarrassed. 

“So we can spend more time together.” you elaborate further. 

“You don't have to do that out of pity or whatever.” he points out.

This is stupid. You're stupid.

“I'm not doing it out of–”

“Besides, I have a few plans throughout our stay here. Starting from tomorrow.”

“What,” you deadpan, hating the weird pressure and intuition that rises every second until he proves it right.

“I arranged it with Nara.”

It's dead silence for a moment. You're letting the information sink in until you breathe out in even bigger disbelief.

“What,” It's quiet, almost painful before you glance at his phone. “Your phone stayed here.”

“Met her during my walk.”

Oh, and she so accidentally appeared right where you were, huh?

He's not looking at you, staring at nothing in particular with a distant gaze. 

“So let me get this straight–” You hold yourself together so you don't burst in anger. “You make a scene for not spending this vacation together and now you just make plans throughout it without me?”

You realize it's mostly said from your point of view and you fucked up, but him accepting it is even more defeating than anything else about this.

“As far as I know, you made plans too. Isn't this a good way of meeting new people?”

He's throwing it back at you. Clenching your jaw, you painfully swallow as you nod. “I see,” you mock his words, “You're right.”

And you walk out of the room – not knowing whether you should strangle him or yourself first. Only time can tell.

It's safe to say that sometimes your intention escalates and creates a new wave of something that can hardly be described positively. A part of you blames yourself for opening your mouth, even though your own intention behind it was not wrong. It wasn't supposed to cause any of this.

Already embarrassing as it is, having to lay next to Jungkook throughout the entire night has been another level. You've been tossing around, wondering if he's doing the same whenever you fall asleep for a few minutes until you're awake again. Seems like he's not particularly doing bad, but once again, there's an argument between you that has been maybe talked about, but definitely not solved. 

You stick to your plans that have been planned out for most of the day. You've gone sightseeing, fed rescued animals and even visited local museums. Basically, done activities where other people mostly talked and you both listened – you were just there. Standing next to each other, walking beside each other but if it wasn't for these facts, some might think you were strangers.

And that thought that randomly crossed your mind hurt. 

But you're just as stubborn. 

This is for the better. Sure, you should probably make a mend, it would definitely make things easier and better. But you will try to focus on other people as well. Being with Jungkook alone on this vacation – well, it's not like you have many opportunities to focus on anything else.

But that could change. And it can change. 

It's for the best. You both got distracted. Preferably with each other. 

So when the time comes, you both end up at the beach nearby the beach house you're staying at. However, this time it's for you to get separated and each go your own way. Gabriel's friends are already there, wearing their swimsuits and covering it with thin layers of clothing. And then there's Gabriel as well.

You texted him, agreeing to the dinner but proposed to meet sooner. The truth is, you couldn't be alone at the house knowing where Jungkook is. It would eat you alive to be alone with your thoughts of blame and regret. 

You have no idea where you will be going, perhaps more sight-seeing but you hope Gabriel has something planned out at the last minute. Sight-seeing reminds you of Jungkook as well, since you've spent your entire morning until midday.

You have not spoken ever since you came back. You both showered and changed clothes, here you are. Perhaps you've spent more time on your make-up. Your skin is glowing, covering everything that is laying beneath much deeper.

Summer dress with slightly low cut cleavage felt like the right choice. It's perfect for day time, could be great for night time as well and most importantly, you're not trying to look overly hot. This dress is practical. 

And you have no idea what's up with men and summer dresses because you feel like you attract men's eyes as soon as they can make out your figure. Gabriel is speechless, though he's grinning and doesn't fail to give you a compliment. 

Before you know it, Jungkook and Gabriel's friends bid you two a goodbye. Well – mostly Gabriel's friends because Jungkook is awfully quiet and doesn't even spare you a glance as he chats with Nara. 

Jaw clenched, you turn around and smile widely at Gabriel. “So what's the plan?”

“Mm, don't kill me but I thought we could get a snack or something, wait–have you eaten?”

“I have,” 

During lunch time with Jungkook. No matter how intense it seems to be between you, he still made sure you've eaten something. It's hard to be mad at him. But one memory of what happened just seconds ago is enough to make your features harden, just like your heart does.

“Have you?”

“I have,” he answers, “Cool, we can go to that dinner I promised you.”

You give him a slight chuckle, both of you walking nowhere specific. 

“But maybe we could go to the water park as well?”

“What,” you stop, chuckling nervously. The whole point of going out was not to be in Jungkook's presence. “The others just left.” You point behind you, pretty sure they are no longer there. 

“I kinda hoped we would go there alone.”

You give him a look, causing him to grin as he shakes his head. “Nothing creepy, I swear. Is it bad that I want you all for myself?”

“You will give me creeps if you continue to speak to me like that.” 

He grabs his chest, pretending it hurts there. “Ouch. Is it always so hard to charm you?”

You look away, shrugging. “Not always.”

At least you didn't lie. 

Best way to distract yourself is to do something. Anything that can't help you from thinking, or even overthinking. You give Gabriel that. Even though he has no idea he indirectly helped you and made your day better, attractions are a good way to just enjoy the presence. You allow yourself and your mind to be present with him. 

You laugh and nicely enough, Gabriel is sweet and keeps his hands to each other. He doesn't give you creepy vibes – you're not sure if you wanted him to. He's polite, gentleman and funny. Everything anyone would like to see in a guy you're spending time with. 

You talk, filling almost every second and moment with words. And yet, still somewhere rooted inside you, you keep looking around, hoping you won't meet Jungkook. Possibly see something you don't want to. You want him to have fun. 

But deep inside you feel like you've pushed him to do this. It's stupid. You proposed something. You never forced him to do anything. But just because it hasn't been done directly, doesn't mean the outcome is not the same. 

And you do it again. So you go to the first attraction you see, the water ride. You take Gabriel's hand, pulling him towards it until you're seated and drenched in water. After you're done, you both laugh at each other's appearance.

“I wonder if they sell towels here.” Gabriel says, praising himself for wearing slippers instead of actual shoes. His shirt is drenched, showing some of his abs. But you're respectful, you're not looking. 

“It's hot, we'll be dry in thirty minutes.” you laugh, squeezing more water from the rim of your dress. It falls down your legs. 

“True–how about–”

“Gab? What are you guys doing here?” 

Coming from the side, you both glance at the way where one of the girls walks with the entire group of Gabriel's friends behind her. Great.

All you hear is Jungkook, Jungkook, Jungkook. He must be around here but you don't dare to let your eyes travel further.

“We wanted to try some of the attractions too.” Gabriel answers as if it's not a big deal. 

Although he's met with some confused looks from his friends, they're not overly judgy and you get them. None of you mentioned going here before. 

“You could've gone with us. Oh god, did you guys just go on this ride? We went there first, you should've seen us! Actually–Nara and Jungkook just went there like ten minutes ago and–” She starts looking behind her, pointing in that direction but she doesn't have to. 

Your eyes naturally find him there. Walking, unbuttoned shirt that is drenched similarly to your dress. The difference is that you can see his skin, a few droplets here and there as the sun shines on his tanned skin.

“We did–I wanted Y/N for myself, is that so bad?”

And that's when Jungkook looks up, undoubtedly catching Gabriel's words and your stare as well. Seconds pass by and someone keeps talking, but you don't pay attention. Jungkook's eyes travel down your figure before a slight frown settles on his face. 

Looking down, and you hate that you do, you follow his line of vision. The outline of your breasts is visible, nowhere near explicit to the point where anything is visibly clear, but even the slightest perks of your hardened nipples can be noticeable if one truly looks there. This dress doesn't require a bra, the material around that area is thick enough. 

When you were picking this dress, you weren't counting on getting it wet by any means. 

Crossing your arms over your chest, Jungkook stares directly at you this time. Something about his gaze is so intense that you're not sure whether you're naturally nervous or aroused. Fuck. 

“We were just about to get frozen yogurt, you guys wanna join? We'll leave you alone, I promise.” Matt, one of their friends jokes, causing all of them to chuckle just to tease Gabriel. 

Gabriel is not a shy person. He rolls his eyes playfully at them, ignoring them right after before he looks down at you. He's taller than you, not as tall as the man who stands across you and you feel his eyes on you. It burns. 

“What do you say? Frozen yogurt?”

Frozen yogurt is the least of your worries right now. The right thing would be to refuse and come up with some kind of excuse, maybe trying the good old I wanna try more attractions. Just so you could finally escape the burning gaze that is ten times hotter than the sun above your heads. 

But the annoyance that slowly simmers inside you, followed by Jungkook's unpleasant face, changes your mind. Lips stretching into a wide smile, making sure Jungkook sees it and hears you loud and clear. 

“Sure, frozen yogurt sounds great.” Delightful, you want to say. 

The others cheer, clearly happy to have Gabriel join them. You see Matt throwing his arm around Gabriel's shoulders, teasing him, undeniably about you as Gabriel shakes his head and with laughter pushes him away. 

“You havin' fun?”

Jungkook walks next to you, looking ahead and not giving you one last glance. His jaw is clenched and you smile, amused and pleased even. 

“Are you?”

“Wonderful,” he mutters.

“Good.”

“Good.”

Scoffing, you open your mouth but before any remark can make it out of your mouth, a woosh of coldness and pressure causes you to stop in your tracks. Most of it is blocked by Jungkook whom you manage to see turning his back, facing you while he shields you from the impact before your eyes are forced to shut.

The nearby attraction has splashed you, a few more people being a victim of it as they either laugh, curse or freeze in shock. Even your newfound friends who have managed to avoid the splash, gasp in surprise as they stare at the two of you. 

You're fully drenched, every inch of you covered in water as you can feel it drip down your dress. So much for being dressed nicely. 

“Oh my god, are you guys okay?” Gabriel asks, walking over to you.

Though you look up at Jungkook, who stares at you before his eyes drop down to your chest. You know his stare is not an act of lust, more of acknowledgment you should make. You don't have to look. You feel it. 

Your arms cover your breasts, turning to Gabriel to respond to him. However before you're able to utter a single word, you feel a soft touch of hand over your lower back. 

“We have to change clothes.”

“I saw a stand with some clothes where the kids' attractions are.” Nara tries to help, pointing in the left.

Jungkook ushers you to move before you can get drenched any more than you already are. Stupidly, you let him and you hate how you enjoy his hand on you. Maybe it has something to do with Nara watching. 

There are no words said as soon as you distance yourselves from the rest of the group, leaving them up to their activities while there's a suffocating air surrounding you. The burning weather has nothing to do with it this time.

You watch Jungkook pick random shirts and shorts once you get to the stand. The older man who sells it tells you that this happens pretty much often, that's why there are a lot of towels and clothes for sale. Of course, it always has a Hawaiian theme or a water park one. You let Jungkook interact with the seller while you linger behind him, offering him a soft smile in return because that's all you can do. 

“There is a changing room with a restroom around the corner. It's more to the side, so it's not much crowded, in case the lady needs more privacy.” he advises nicely.

Smiling one last time, Jungkook briefly nods as he follows the man's directions and leads you to the mentioned changing room.

He forgot to mention it's a single room. You can still hear screams and laugh from the side, but it's more isolated right now. You get inside, scanning the room. It's spacious. There are hangers on the wall, a basic bin and a sink. A huge mirror is spread across the one wall, the lighting is shitty though. The light bulb weirdly glitches but there is no weird smell in here. You hate public bathrooms, especially at water parks. 

Surprisingly, there's not much water on the floor. The man was right. There are not many people who use this changing room. You've seen a couple of them when you were walking with Gabriel, but you haven't thought much about it. It sort of makes sense now.

The door clicks behind you, causing you to look across your shoulder. “Umm, where are you going?”

Jungkook looks up, brows frowning as he grows slightly offended by the question. “To change?”

His own question holds an attitude and you just stare in bewilderment for a moment. But when he doesn't move an inch, stubbornly standing his ground, you frown as well. 

“Can't you wait?”

“Can't you wait?”

You scoff, almost laughing how childish this situation is. When Jungkook is mad, he can get slightly childish or let you feel all the nice things he does for people, until he stops it just to get petty. Not that you can't complain. You do the same things. 

However, you use your mouth much more than he does. He's more subtle with it. 

“I was here first.”

It's childish, you know it, yet you still point out when you're not sure how to react in the first place. Jungkook laughs under his breath.

“I wanna get out of these clothes as much as you do. Let's turn around and not look at each other.” he proposes, thinking that's the problem. 

Little does he know you could care less if he sees you naked or whatever. You hate the way the water drips down his body, the ends of his hair picking up all the water until it slowly drops and it does the same thing seconds later. You hate how his tan body peeks through the opened button-up. 

He's here. Yet it seems like he's never been further since you came to Hawaii.

All of this is stupid. You've been through much worse back home and you were able to make up.

But there's a lot of stubbornness and until you get there, you'll have to get through this somehow. 

“You think that's the problem?” you question, seeing him giving you a confused look as he starts taking off his button-up. 

He turns around to the sink, squeezing any water access he can from it. You don't move. You just shamelessly stare as he completely unbothered continues to do what he came here to do.

How dare he? Your self-consciousness mocks you.

“And what's the problem here exactly?”

He doesn't even spare you a glance, continuing to squeeze his completely scrunched up shirt.

“Are you seriously asking that?”

“I asked, didn't I?”

You scoff, ready to pounce on him. Not the good kind. 

“There's a thing that's called space.”

The double meaning sits in the air, yet he doesn't look perplexed by it. For all you know, he doesn't even notice it as he bluntly continues his task. It pisses you off. 

“There's enough space between us.” he simply says.

Your chest squeezes, causing you to purse your lips for a second as you breathe out. “You can't be serious right now.”

“I'm not even looking at you,” he scoffs, “I'll just change my clothes and I'm out of here. If you wanna just stand there and wait, you're free to do that.”

The audacity of this man is beyond the words. Is this how payback feels like?

“Oh, got it. You're eager to get out of here.” So you can get back to Nara, you want to add but decide not to. You would sound like a jealous bitch.

Somehow, Jungkook seems to get the hidden meaning behind it, almost as if he could hear your thoughts from out here. He chuckles, it's just the amused look he gives you that barely lasts a second, but it leaves you breathless and all exposed. 

The dress clings to your skin, you want nothing more than to take it off. You don't dare to move though. 

“May I remind you it's you who wanted me so eagerly to be out there?”

It's like you speak in riddles, yet you both know the exact meaning of them. You both don't dare to say it out loud. 

Getting tired of it, but mostly letting out the anger that you mainly hold for yourself, but for the man in front of you as well, you take an angry inhale of breath. 

“What exactly is it that you want, Y/N?” His voice rings loudly in your head, even though there's nothing loud about his tone.

Shakingly breathing out, you quietly point out; “You can't be fucking your best friend, Jungkook.”

The emphasis on your relationship is clear, though all Jungkook does is chuckle under his breath, scoffing. He throws his shirt into the sink, walking up to you. Your breath catches, though you can't almost anticipate once he's close to you. He stops, just centimeters from touching you. You can smell his faded cologne sticking to his skin and you almost crumble. 

“What if I wanted to?”

“Jungkook–”

“You always make a decision without talking to me. It is yours, I respect it,” He stops for a brief moment. He stares your face up and down. “What exactly are you so scared of?”

And the fear comes rushing to you, mainly located in your chest as your hands flinch to squeeze it. You remain standing there, not being able to look him in the eyes. His eyes are on you, you feel every inch of them, the proximity they shine. 

“This is ridiculous.” You try to move past him but he stops you. 

“It is,” he agrees, “Is this about sex?”

“It's not just about that!” you argue, voice hushed and almost scandalized that you're having this conversation in public. You only hope there's no one standing outside, able to hear you. 

You heard Jungkook locking the door, but still – there might be people waiting. 

“I know you,” he says silently but clearly. “I know there's something going on inside that pretty head of yours that you're not telling me.”

“Stop.”

“Are you in love with me?”

You gasp, “What? No!” you push him, palms against his chest but he holds you by your wrist, amused by your sudden outburst.

“So why are you so adamant on pushing me away? All of a sudden, may I add?”

He's asking all the right questions and you despise it at the moment. 

“You can't be fucking me forever, Jungkook. It must've ended at some point.”

“Oh–and you just decided on it without talking to me?” he scoffs, “You just randomly pushed me onto some random chick.”

“If I remember, you're willingly spending your free time with this random chick.”

He grins, though there's nothing genuine about it. It's fueled with cockiness. 

You might realize there's more to Jungkook's reaction. You suddenly start to understand why he's maybe hurt by your sudden twist of emotions. While you never came out of the wrong place, at least your intentions never did, you might understand what his problem is.

He expected you to communicate with him about it. He might be right about that, but you also had your own reasons and yes, maybe you fucked up and it didn't go as planned, but you won't take the blame for all of it. 

It's hard to focus on it though, especially when there's unspoken annoyance and anger dancing around you two. 

“It was your suggestion.” he states matter-of-factly.

One, you regret.

He lets go of your wrists, but not before rubbing it softly with his thumbs. It's a minor detail, one you almost don't notice but it would be a total shame if you would. 

“With a good intention.” 

“And what's the intention?” he asks right away, tone slightly more defensive. “Huh?”

You open your mouth but nothing comes out of it.

Exactly – Jungkook's face says it all.

“To push me away? Because you're too scared to communicate?”

Jungkook's annoyance comes mostly out of this. You've used to communicate and talk about everything. And that brings you to the point. Things have changed. There are minor details, perhaps even more minor than Jungkook's faint touch of affection he gave to your wrists just now. But in these kinds of situations you can perfectly see them. 

Does he not see it?

“Fine,” you spit out, “You want me to communicate? I will.”

“About time!” he exclaims.

“I want you to meet new people. Be open to meeting new people.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” he grimaces. 

“You can't be open to meeting someone when you're fucking me the entire time!” you exclaim back, chest heaving as he looks taken back.

That's all gone as his brows furrow. “That's not your decision to make. When I'm ready to meet someone, I will.”

“That's not what I meant–”

“Really? Because that's all I could gather. If I wanted to be single for years, I easily could and that has nothing to do with you.”

Ouch.

“I know–”

“Do you?” he asks. “Because to me it seems like you don't get it. If you didn't wanna have sex with me so badly, you could've just easily called it off. For the hundredth time anyway.” he mocks the last part.

That's where you gasp and come up to him, invading his space. He doesn't seem to mind.

“But you wanted it, didn't you?”

He taunts you, even though you're in his face, looking angry as ever – he remains calm and has all the control.

“A part of you still wants it. That's why you can't see me with Nara–”

“That's not about her.”

“Is it not?”

“No. I told you to meet people. That's all I wanted, don't you remember?”

He scans you for a moment. “So we're at this point where we can fuck whoever we want?” 

Fuck. You did not expect him to ask this. Nor did you expect to get to this point. You led him to it. You are the reason why he's asking this. You don't blame yourself for this, it's a simple fact. It will happen sooner or later. 

So why the fuck there's an answer caught in your throat?

“Do you want that?” he continues. “I promised you we would go here as friends. No sex. Anything.”

Your throat feels dry, painfully dry that it even hurts to swallow. There's nowhere to escape. There's an imaginary spotlight set on you, Jungkook's determined gaze making up for it. 

“We agreed to come here as friends.”

“That's not what I'm asking.” His response comes quickly.

He stares at you, searching your face for something unknown and you shift under his gaze, causing your own eyes to trail somewhere else. You can't hold eye contact. He waits. But when he doesn't get anything in return, he simply scoffs or chuckles under his breath – you can't tell – and takes a few steps away from you.

His shorts go next, he takes them off and tries to squeeze any excess water. 

“I just wanted you to–I thought it would be a good opportunity for you to meet someone new. It wasn't supposed to come out as pushy or anything.” you murmur gently under your breath. 

He stops for a brief moment, not moving. “How about talking to me next time, yeah?”

You nod, though you're not sure if he sees it. He's not even looking at you. Brows pinched in together, you watch him continue with his task. 

“Noted.” You drop your head low.

“If you want to fuck someone else so badly, just tell me.”

“That's not–” Your reaction comes fast. Eyes wide and mouth open, you shake your head. “You think–”

“Don't you?” he almost accuses you. 

“You think I–” You make air quotes with your fingers, “pushed Nara on you because I wanna fuck someone else?”

“I no longer know what I think.”

“If I wanted to do that, I would.” You assure him, comically using the same words he has used not that long ago. It's the truth. 

“Good to know.”

“Good,” you exclaim. “I guess we can both agree that we're capable of doing what we want.”

“Are we?” 

Your mouth slightly opens. “Huh?”

“Are we capable of doing what we want?”

The shorts join his scrunched up shirt in the sink, knowing Jungkook will wash the hell out of it once he gets back. He loves to do his laundry. But that's besides the point. 

What matters is how Jungkook inches closer to you, his eyes eating you up and noticing you haven't shredded a single piece of clothing. You catch a glimpse of your face in the mirror. Your pupils wide, an expectation screaming out of them while your skin remains wet. Trails of water trailing down between your breasts. 

He follows it before his eyes slowly go up until they meet yours.

“Perhaps it's a curse or talent, but one look at you and I can already tell where your mind's at.”

He doesn't make you feel pathetic. He simply comments but finds some sort of enjoyment in it. The male's ego is never truly gone and you wish you could crash it, verbally using your mouth as you're good at it. It doesn't matter that his implication is true – it doesn't matter you both know it. You would fight and argue, just to compete his ego with your own. 

It seems like you're not able to this time. 

“Yeah? And where's your mind at?” you try to sound unbothered, but the way your chest slowly starts to heave up completely betrays you.

“At the same exact place where yours is. Unlike you, I'm not ashamed to say it out loud.”

He backs you to the counter, nowhere near touching you – yet he does it with a single stare and has you exactly where he wants you. The tip of your toes almost touch, his figure hovering over yours.

Gulping, you try to play it cool. “Go on then. Tell me.”

He chuckles, it's soft but holds amused darkness that's wrapped around his cords. “If you insist.”

You don't. But you play into this fake illusion of not knowing what he's talking about. Just a pure excuse to try and prove him otherwise. To be honest, you might be curious about what he has to say. Jungkook has a good judgment for a character – when it comes to you. That obviously does not apply to his exes.

“I'm supposed to be somewhere else, physically and mentally, but here I am thinking of different ways of having you.”

You stop yourself just in time not to gasp out loud, showing him a vocal reaction other than your heart picking up its pace just at the single thought of it. Let alone having to hear him confess that. 

Clearing your throat, you try to straighten your posture but end up brushing against his chest. You do your best at ignoring it, staring him straight in the eyes. “And that's what I want?”

Don't lie to yourself, the little devil of your consciousness ironically laughs. Of course you know all of this, you just have this urge to prove him otherwise and crush that confidence he has within himself. 

“Please, you're already salivating just from the thought of it.”

Narrowing your eyes at him, you argue: “No, I am not.”

“Tell me,” he cocks his head to the side. “Would you rather bend over the counter or sit on it?”

He sounds nothing but curious, not even feeding to your delusions of him being out of touch with reality. Only he is not. 

“You're an idiot.” you breathe out, trying everything to sound scandalized or offended. You would be able to fool if it was anyone else. But not him.

“For speaking the truth?”

“You're saying it as if I would want that. Listen to what I'm saying.”

He chuckles, shaking his head lightly. “Words are irrelevant when your eyes practically beg me to touch you.”

You know he chose a lighter version of what he would initially say. He wants to be way more explicit, but you're both dancing on the edge.

“You think you know everything when it comes to me.” It sounds ridiculous coming out of your mouth. He doesn't appear to be offended because you both know how much he truly knows you. 

To bring this conversation to a different topic, he chooses to ignore it and simply smiles. 

“So if I were to do this–” He lightly touches the side of your neck, wrapping his hand carefully around it. You inhale shakily, not being able to control it. “Would you tell me to stop?”

He gently massages your pulse that moves under his thumb, watching goosebumps appear on your soft skin. His hand is gone before you can blink, but is soon replaced by his fingertips tracing down your neck, past your collarbone until they stop at top of your breasts. 

“Hm?”

You're not able to react. Your chest heaves, a glare fixated on him but no sound comes out of your mouth. He has you. Wrapped around his fingers, proving his point. Because of his ego and confidence, you know he's proving it to you rather than to anyone else. He can be that annoying. 

Close to leaning toward his touch, the tip of his fingers play with the hem of your dress, occasionally and very faintly touch your skin. His other hand goes down, playing at the fabric of where your dress ends. It goes up, fabric gathering over his wrist. You shudder, mentally begging him to do more.

As if he could read your mind, his eyes look up without having to move his head, dark sinister spark in them. When he doesn't see you protesting, merely making sure of your current state, he does not waste a second and pulls the top hem of your dress. Revealing your breasts, he sucks in breath at the perked nipples. His hold on the dress tightens and within seconds, his mouth is wrapped around your nipple.

“Fuck.” you moan, throwing your head back as you arch into him.

He's like a starving man, perhaps he is from the stupid condition you've made up, but so are you. The other hand grasps the back of your thigh, molding his fingers into your skin as if he wants to leave as many imprints as he can. 

Teeth grazing your teeth, he wraps his hand around your neck once more and makes you look at him. You just stare at each other, not an ounce of shame written on your faces. Your noses touch, your mouth already opened as small gasps similar to moans escape. You beg him to kiss you. 

He doesn't. 

Instead, he drops down to his knees and before you know it, his hands disappear underneath your dress and shamelessly pull down your only piece of underwear. Once that's done, he hoists up your leg over his shoulder and dives in right away. You can barely grab the edge of the sink counter and balance yourself on it, before his mouth is on you. 

“Jungkook–”

You swear you hear him chuckle, but you're too distracted by the shots of pleasure he's attacking you with. He shows no mercy. Fingers wrapped in his hair, you tug onto his roots as he moans against you. 

Nobody does it like you. 

While that thought normally scares you, now you're fucking grateful he's the one that's between your legs. 

You come embarrassingly fast, trying to keep yourself silent from moaning and embarrassingly so, you have no idea whether you've succeeded or not. Jungkook fucks you through it with his mouth, stopping just at the right time as he pulls away.

Lips swollen and red, eyes drinking you up, he effortlessly stands up. “Was this anything relatively close to where your mind was?”

It was far dirtier but there's nothing to be disappointed about. When it comes to orgasm and Jungkook, he never disappoints. 

“I can't complain.” you breathe out, watching how he pulls up your dress and covers your breasts to give you at least some kind of modesty. 

It's a single detail, one he never had to do and you never fully noticed – but no matter what, Jungkook always looks out for you. A blunt apology wants to come out, for numerous reasons of the misunderstanding of your own fears and good intentions, but Jungkook takes a few steps back. 

“Change your clothes, I will wait outside.” he says, quickly changing his own before leaving you up to it. 

You turn around, not being able to let go of the counter as you grip it harder and stare at your face. He didn't even go all the way and you look like you've had the time of your life. 

Once again, you and Jungkook have succumbed to your desires and broken the only condition you've had for this vacation. It should leave you disappointed and perhaps you are little, but you're definitely satisfied for the time being. 

At least until you have to walk out of the door and face the storm in the form of your best friend. 

Your knees and hands have stopped buckling by the time you've changed into dry clothes. Nothing screams more than a tourist wearing an oversized shirt with a huge label saying “I love Hawaii”, an image of a red heart replacing the word love. It's something you would've worn to bed to sleep in – or at the beach to cover up the least – not parading yourself in it in public. 

The sense of fashion is the last of your worries or things on your mind though. 

Jungkook has waited outside of the door, guarding it safely. After his sudden leave, you did not lock the door which could be a terrible mistake if Jungkook wasn't there to make sure no one walks in. Somehow, you knew he was right behind that door.

The walk toward the rest of the group is spent in silence. As if his mouth wasn't all over your private areas. The memory of it makes an excitement bubble in your stomach, even though it should probably be at least a hint of some kind of regret. 

You do not regret the act itself. Mostly, it's just you being so weak to prevent it. 

Maya would surely get the baggage off your shoulders, supporting this wild decision. But she just doesn't get it. 

Simple walk to find your newfound friends – or whatever you would call them – makes you miss your real friends. You wonder how things would go if they were here. 

Maybe it's just your stupid naivety of believing that it would be different. No matter what, it seems you and Jungkook always find your way to each other – intimately speaking. 

One thing's for sure. 

Jungkook has confronted you. There's truth to both sides. 

Of course the man can have anyone he points his finger at. It was your foolishness to think this vacation was the perfect chance at it. Selfishly, you might've done it more for yourself than for him. 

And what if you would meet someone as well? 

It would certainly make things easier. The decision would be way easier too.

Gabriel is handsome. Hot and charming. Practically the perfect package for a vacation hook-up. And as much as would be leant toward maybe kissing him at least, you can't do that when Jungkook is right there. 

Once you find them, the mood is sour between you and you're not even trying to hide it. Maybe it's the lack of smile and a big portion of silence that makes them notice it. No one comments on it. In fact, you don't think it's worth being commented on. 

Their positivity and good mood continues to be unaffected.

“We dodged the whole frozen yogurt, heard there are these best waffles somewhere around here with fresh fruit. Wanna go there instead?” Gabriel is the first one to ask, eyes finding your figure as soon as you approach them.

In this heat, sweet food or a snack is the least of your cravings. 

“I'm actually not hungry at all,” you respond, feeling guilty for not being up for this idea. 

Gabriel looks confused for a moment, certainly remembering you were all up for frozen yogurt just a few minutes ago. Like the gentleman he is, he doesn't question you but you can see the questions running inside his head. 

Maybe he doesn't want to do it in front of his friends. 

“The heat is killing me.” you add, trying to save it.

He nods, glancing toward the man next to you who hasn't made a move to… move. “Jungkook?”

“I already had a dessert.” he comments, shamelessly staring at the side of your face.

Eyes almost bulging out, you keep your calm and try to not react. Even though Jungkook has not worded it out weirdly to give anyone a big suspicion, it's you and your guilt that makes it think it's so obvious. You wish you could glare at him, but you know there are eyes on you.

“We stopped by the fruit stand, so we had that on our way here.” you lie, straight through your teeth and even though you could be defined as the worst liar ever, this lie comes out sweet and believable. But it's Gabriel's eyes that continue to stare and watch you like you're the biggest open book. 

Fuck.

“Yeah, the fruit here tastes nice.” Jungkook continues and you do everything in your power not to smack him across that bratty mouth. Mouth you wish you could have kissed. 

You give him a look, but he just cocks his brow at you. “Yeah, Jungkook came up with this idea–”

“Did I?”

You glare at him, “Anyway–sorry, I know we wanted to go there together.”

“It's fine,” Gabriel laughs, “We're still gonna get it. You guys are still going with us, right?”

“Yeah, sure!” you force yourself to smile, joining Gabriel as you feel Jungkook's burning gaze on your back. 

That's until you hear Nara's voice behind you, making a casual conversation between them and diverting his attention elsewhere. 

Once the sun is slowly setting down, you part ways and go back to the beach house in silence. No difference happens once you're inside, just the two of you. 

The past two hours spent with people you've met here felt like a torture. That's what you at least thought until you and Jungkook continued to pass by each other as you two are getting ready. Comically enough, not to go somewhere together but with different people.

He kept his word and accepted Nara's offer to go out tonight. Whether he's doing this to piss you off or because he wants to is unknown to you. Perhaps there was a slight hope that you two would just come to an agreement to cancel and go somewhere together. Even staying inside would be enough.

Once Nara asked Jungkook if their plan is still on and Jungkook so shamelessly confirmed, all the hope left as soon as it came. Gabriel has done the same with you and there was nothing other for you to do, then to agree.

It's a pure comedy. If there was a third person just watching the two of you, they would have the time of their life. Somehow you can imagine Taehyung here, sitting on the couch as he judges you two but stays entertained throughout the entire time.

After taking a shower, you end up doing your make-up in the living room with the smallest mirror you've brought on this vacation. Your previous plan of doing it in the bathroom where there is a massive mirror has failed as soon as Jungkook uttered his need to use the shower as well. 

You're not sure if he's done it on purpose, but he sure as hell took his time there. You're putting on the lipstick when he finally decides to get out of there.

Both of you stop.

He's wearing an all white – button-up with shorts that reach just above his knees. Shorts you didn't even know he owns. He looks elegant, yet casual just for the hot weather even though there's a slight darkness outside. His slicked back hair definitely helps.

Jungkook's eyes fall down on your figure. You're wearing a simple short black dress but the gold necklace and red lipstick adds a pinch of sexiness to it. None of you are overdressed or could win the outfit of the year, yet you can't keep eyes off each other. 

You're the first one to break it, standing up and tidying up your make-up stuff that's all over the table, but not before raising a provocative brow at him. He scoffs as he walks past you without any word, his cologne the only thing left and lingering. Out of his sight, you close your eyes and breathe out the gathered breath in your lungs. 

The two of you leave at the same time, in different directions to different people.

The restaurant where Gabriel has taken you is nice and they have a variety of food on their menu. You have a nice view of the beach and sea which adds points in your imaginary review of this place. You've got to be honest – Gabriel definitely went out his way to invite you here.

He doesn't mention his friend – Nara – not even once and while you're not sure if you want to hear the reminder of her hanging out with Jungkook at the moment, you hope you won't bump into each other. You feel bad. 

You listen and talk to him, but your mind is all over the place. You should've known you won't be able to enjoy tonight if there's someone you've fought with. And with Jungkook out of all people. 

At least the food is nice.

After two hours of good dinner and dessert, and a few glasses of wine, Gabriel decides to walk you back to the beach house. You're not stupid to decline it, especially at night. Before that you decide to take a quick walk down the beach.

“So, what are you saying? Was the dinner that bad?”

You give him a look, chuckling. “Did it meet your expectations of getting to know me?”

Now he's the one who laughs. “Yeah,” he nods. “Kinda makes it hard for me to go back to Italy.”

You raise your brow, smirking. “So you're saying you're not going where I go?”

He laughs at your joke, “I'm thinking of it.”

“Yeah, sure.” you laugh, “One dinner is all it took?”

“You're special.”

And you're more likely looking for a hook-up, you think. You both know there's no future to this. 

“I am special?” you snicker, “Is that what you say to all the girls?”

“Is it working?” he teases.

“Nah, it takes more effort when it comes to me.” 

He stops in his tracks which causes you to do the same. He stares, eyes dropping down your lips and red lights flare in your mind. Knowing what it most likely means, you quickly turn away. 

“Come on, I'm so full I could fall asleep.”

Cringing at yourself, Gabriel follows and doesn't seem to be shaken up from it. He continues to talk and the mood is pretty much loosen up, which has been from the beginning. You had a good time and it went better than you expected it to. 

Gabriel doesn't try to kiss you and you bid goodbye with a casual hug, both of you understanding that nothing will come out of this. 

The lights are on as you open the unlocked door, meaning that Jungkook is already back. It seems like he just came as he came out of the bathroom, surprised to see you there. 

“How was your date?” he asks, looking away from you in a second.

“It wasn't a date.” you clarify which makes him snicker. “What? It wasn't.”

“An Italian guy wants to make plans with you, alone. You might be right, it's not about a date at all.”

You give him an offensive look, “Are you insinuating that all I'm good for is a hook-up?”

“No, don't twist up my words.” He immediately stops your mind to go somewhere his mind doesn't even get close to. “I'm insinuating that a guy from freaking Italy suddenly shows his interest in you, when you live across the world.”

You frown, watching him reach for a glass of whiskey you haven't noticed before. He's not drunk but what he is, is confidently smirking in your face as if he knows everything. Well, he's not too far off. Gabriel wants to have fun and while he seems to be a decent human being, he's not about to move to a country to be with you. You wouldn't expect him to anyway.

“But you're right,” He purses his lips, the rim of the glass almost touching it as he lets out the tiniest chuckle that's supposed to be hidden. “He's probably wanting to marry you.”

He's provocating you. The plans have not turned out the way you both wanted to – but it is what it is. Your curiosity almost kills you and your impatient-self wants to ask him about this date, or whatever it was. This is a game, you realize. 

And you won't let him have that satisfaction of you asking. 

“He wanted to kiss me tonight.” you inform him.

You watch him take a sip, pursing his lips right after as you slowly watch him swallow down the hard liquor. “I'm sure he wanted to do much more.”

Is that a jealousy you hear? 

No one has quite peaked your interest regarding this matter. Judging by Jungkook's confidence, he knows that. 

“Next time I will let him kiss me. Maybe then he will want to marry me eventually.” You give him a false smile, stopping right beside him as he wants you with a clenched jaw. 

Not giving him a chance to respond, you walk away with confident steps into the bedroom. The door closes and your back meets the wood. You can feel your heart in your neck, all the facade of confidence and peace leaves and you softly bang your head against it. 

What you said was completely stupid. You don't want to kiss Gabriel. In fact, the thought of it is nowhere near as exciting as one would expect it to be. Both of you know that the second part was only said to piss him off and prove a point. 

The questions are…

Will you let him kiss you next time?

Did or will Jungkook kiss someone else in here?

The ongoing battle that you're in the middle of has not ended. 

Both sleeping at the very both ends, as far away from each other as possible, has been a good way to start the day. It's not like you expected to cuddle during the night. 

That's not what friends do, your mind wants to say. But you've crossed that line too many times. You're not the typical friends either, that ship has sailed a long time ago. 

You shouldn't have pushed him away. It's too late to take it back. For a moment you think of coming to Jungkook, apologize and somehow talk yourself out of this impossible battle you're in. You're willing to take all the blame for it. 

However, that's all gone as soon as you hear Jungkook calling with who you assume is Nara, his tone sweet and sounding exciting as they make plans for today. You stand there, making yourself a coffee as you try not to listen to their ridiculous conversation. How can you not? 

Jungkook sits right behind you, even if you didn't want to listen – it's impossible for you not to. He knows that. He knows you're listening. You're the one who has come in the middle of their conversation.

The call ends after a minute, your coffee ready but your mind isn't when you turn around and face the devil. You've seen him from the corner of your eyes when you entered the kitchen area, but nothing prepares you for the shirtless Jungkook. His hair isn't messy, he seems to be well put and from the looks of it, he came out of the shower not that long ago. 

He cocks his brow at you, questioning your stare making your features harden. “Having a date today?”

You painfully watch the way the corner of his mouth slowly lifts up as he chuckles. “Careful, you start to sound jealous.”

“Me? Don't be ridiculous,” you scoff, “Where is she from again? Doesn't she live across the world?”

Jungkook features lighten up with pure amusement as you use his words against him. “At least I can admit this is a date.”

“I simply hung out with a guy. We never stated it's a date.” you point out, knowing it sounds silly but Gabriel just wanted to get to know you. You never officially called it a date.

Jungkook stands up, grabbing his empty plate as he gives you another one of his snickers. “Be in denial all you want.”

“You know what?” He raises his brow in question, too close to you as he reaches to put the plate into the sink. “I'm not gonna spend this morning arguing with you. If I wanted it to be a date, I would make it perfectly clear to him.”

He smiles, but there's nothing sweet about it. “A date or a chance for a hook-up. I don't see the difference.”

He does. Jungkook has always been the dating type rather than the hook-up one. Your two friends have taken that label since forever. But obviously, he's not talking about himself. 

Suddenly, the air becomes thick and you stare right into his dark eyes. He's hovering over you, his scent luring you in as his eyes dance across your face. “Maybe you should take your own advice.”

He pulls away, giving you a chance to breathe again as you quickly recover. “Yeah? And what would that be?”

Jungkook grabs his phone and looks at you across his shoulder. “You should meet new people.”

Your mouth opens and you stare for a moment before you scoff, “If I wanted to date, I would already have like hundreds of boyfriends. The same goes if I was looking for a hook-up.”

“Good for you.” he calls out bitterly, leaving you in the kitchen with a fuming gaze and burning heart. 

But you realize one thing. How selfish you've just sounded. Jungkook has told you the same thing. 

If any of you wanted that, you could've easily done so. Yet your reason for saying it to him and what ultimately started this argument, is completely different.

Jungkook is a dick. 

He has left for his date or whatever the fuck it is, and has left you alone in the house even without asking whether you have plans or not. You know your relationship right now is not at its best stage, but little consideration could not hurt. Especially since he's always been caring and considerate no matter how much your relationship has taken a different turn. 

It's one of the reasons why you desperately wanted to move on. Throw your past away and come back to the friendship you've known since the beginning. It leaves you agreeing that your original intention has come from a good place.

Luckily, Gabriel seems to show interest in you, still, after the little rejection you've given him after his attempt to kiss you. He comes to you a little after you come to the beach to just lay there. He's been there with his friends since this morning – at their usual spot. Nara is nowhere in sight and much to your distaste, you know who's she with. 

So once Gabriel invites you to hang out with them, you agree and would rather spend your alone time in a company of many people, than to dwell all alone about your decisions in life. He keeps you entertained and busy, away from your haunting thoughts. Until…

“Nara is with your friend. You know where they went?” 

You sit at a bar, drinking lemonade in this burning weather and you're thankful for the sunglasses you're wearing, so he's not about to see the tiniest roll of your eyes. “No idea. He forgot to mention.”

In the morning which is the last time you've seen him. He just left you to be with another woman, in a foreign country. You know you can call him anytime. Even now – no matter what your relationship looks like, he would be here in a second if you called and needed him. But still – you're mad he just left without saying anything. Deep down you know that's not the only thing that irritates you. 

“Nara fancies him a lot.”

So? You want to say. What are you supposed to do with this information?

“Really?” You're trying to sound surprised. But even Gabriel– who had so little time to get to know you – catches onto the tone and laughs. “It's pretty obvious.” You try to save it by simply stating. 

“She did ask him to go out again today. From what I know, she was never the one who asked someone out.”

“Where does she live again?” you ask, taking a sip off a lemonade trying to quench the fire inside you. 

“Spain.”

“It's not like there's any future to it.”

Gabriel stays silent and just stares, while you continuously take innocent sips. “Actually, Nara has applied for some modeling jobs in Korea.”

He's definitely not talking about North Korea, unfortunately that's unrealistic.

“Oh,”

Well, fuck. This just gave a completely different turn of event.

Considering your luck, she probably applied to your modeling agency as well. Many foreigners do. You just hope no one will mention it. Not to be a bitch, but you can imagine someone asking you to help her to get in. That's beyond your competency. But you could always mention her to Junho.

Oh my god. Jungkook has worked there too. He probably has saved your boss' number. While you think Jungkook wouldn't cross that invisible line you've set, he's always trying to help and save the day.

“Listen, how about I take you out for dinner tonight?”

That's… shocking.

After the last time you ended things, you thought he gave up. But you should've known better. It seems guys like him barely give up.

“What's else for us to do?” he chuckles, not really waiting for an answer but it still comes.

“What do you mean?”

He looks at you, reaching for his drink as his shoulders relax. “Our friends are meeting with each other almost every day.”

The taste of your non-alcoholic drinks becomes bitter on the tip of your tongue, just as much as your mood does. “As far as I know, you've got other friends here.”

“But none of them are you.”

Smooth. The little smirk you give him tells him everything. He's aware of his smooth delivery of compliments. You've got to give it to him – he knows his way around girls. 

It's not like you have anything else to do. Jungkook seems to be busy and does not care what you do here anymore. And Gabriel's company is nice. If it's true what he said about Nara coming to Korea, there's a bigger chance of them making future plans together. And as much as this thought leaves the most bitter taste on your tongue, you'll leave that move for Jungkook to make. 

After all, that's what you wanted for him and who are you to stand in his way. 

Purposely not verbally reacting to Gabriel's flirting, you shrug and lean in your seat. “Dinner sounds perfect.”

Legs resting on top of the coffee table, Gossip Girl plays in the background as you mindlessly pop grapes in your mouth. Maybe you're silently imagining it's Jungkook whom you're crushing between your teeth. 

After spending almost the full day with Gabriel and then the rest of his friends, you've come to the beach house finding it completely empty. It looks exactly where it's left off and you're embarrassed to admit that you've checked Jungkook's things to see if they've moved. And perhaps he was here. They haven't, which only meant one thing – Jungkook hasn't come here yet.

Sooner than later, the door opens and there he is. 

He does not seem surprised to see you there – almost as if he knew you wouldn't be anywhere else. You give him that much satisfaction of looking at him once he arrives, acknowledging his late arrival. You hate what you do but it has its own purpose. And that is the single glare you give him. 

You feel like a mother, silently scolding her child for coming home late. 

He goes for a shower right away and you battle with thoughts of him, erasing the traces of possible sex on his skin. He comes back after a few minutes, wearing just his boxers with wet hair. You want to scold him for walking around like that, but that would be slightly selfish for numerous reasons. Is he torturing you on purpose?

He joins you on the couch, not questioning your choice of TV show as he knows you've previously seen it. As he sits down, you can't hold it back and just come straight to the point. 

“Will you help her?”

Your gaze is focused on the TV screen, but you feel his own burning the side of your face. “Huh?”

“Nara.”

He just stares which causes you to look at him and roll your eyes at him. “She applied for modeling agencies in Korea.”

“Korea is huge,” he says after a moment. “And how do you even know that?”

“Gabriel told me.” You try to not sound too proud.

“When?” he asks confusingly. “She told me just today.”

He's questioning if you've known this information sooner but never told him. 

This time you inform him with a smug face. “He told me today as well.”

The revelation that you haven't spent your day here alone is out. He is unreadable. He just watches you, almost as if he wants to make sure you're not making this up. Too bad for him. You're not making anything up and this time you're not too shy to show how proud you are for it. 

“What? You thought I was here all alone while you went on a date?” 

It's a purposeful jab, one that leads to nothing but disaster but you don't care. You're mad and annoyed. And now he knows why. Yet he doesn't make any effort to make an excuse for himself. 

“You brought him here?” 

First of all – you're not sure what would be so bad about it, even if you brought him here. But then it clicks. Jungkook has his own assumptions and bringing a guy here, while you're all alone could mean different things. Your skin is moisturized and you smell like your shower gel, which means you've left the shower not that long ago.

Perhaps it could be considered as disrespectful if you indeed brought him into a house, Jungkook rented and is a space for you two. You could understand that.

If the roles were reversed and you found out he brought Nara here – well… the thought of it doesn't sit well with you. But what does, when it comes to her?

“No, he asked me out after you so kindly left me here to go on your stupid date.” you huff out, standing up and forgetting about your TV show. The controller is tossed on the couch as you leave without looking at him. 

Your steps lead to the bathroom where there's a slight trace of foggy mirror left after Jungkook's shower. Mentally groaning at the scent of him dominating in the room, you reach toward the sink faucet in a desperate need to freshen up your burning face.

You don't get to turn the water on as Jungkook is in your tracks, a burning gaze aimed at you. “You seemed to have solved it pretty quickly.”

Realizing he meant your accusation of leaving you to go on a date, you scoff. 

“I wasn't about to sit here and sulk, waiting like a dog for you. If that's what you were planning for me to do.”

“I wasn't planning that,” he states, even though he wants to be just as mad for some reason. “I wasn't planning on being out until now.”

“Well, you were!” you exclaim. 

“Sorry.”

“Sorry? Is that all you've got to say?”

He leans against the door frame, arms crossed over his chest. “What am I supposed to say?”

“You know what? Nothing. Say nothing.” you fume, forgetting your dumb purpose in the bathroom anyway as you rush to get past him. But as soon as you get close, his hand around your wrist stops you. 

The touch is electrifying, sadly not in an awful way and you hate how your body reacts to him naturally. “Did you at least have fun?” you scoff.

“Would you be mad if I said I did?”

You almost cry, like a child but the anger inside you is bigger than anything else and you shake his hold on you. “And did you have fun?”

“Lots of it.” you spit the words at him.

You both stare into each other's eyes, the anger screaming out of them and yet the question you want to ask is unspoken.

“Good.”

“Goodnight Jungkook.” you murmur, walking away and quickening up the pace before you can do something you really want to, but would regret later. 

One would think that after yesterday's exchange of pitiful words, you two would have solved it or at least tried to voice the problem here. It seems there is not enough pity and when the two of you want to, you could be the biggest pity bitches.

“Milk?”

Side-eyed look toward Jungkook, having two bowls of cereal ready and awaiting your answer. “I can make myself breakfast.”

“Milk?” he asks through his teeth, causing you to roll your eyes behind his back as you sit down.

“Yes.”

Whether this is his way of saying sorry for yesterday or not  is unknown and you're not about to investigate it. You mutter a silent thank you once the bowl is set in front of you and you two dig into your breakfast without any other sort of conversation. 

The rest of the morning goes like this. One word communication which seems almost like a challenge. Phones are your best friend but both of you are stubborn to talk. You swim in the pool for the first time since you're here, enjoying the sun warming your skin as Jungkook goes for his morning jog and comes back an hour later.

You're playing quiet house, so it seems. 

As the day goes, it's more than clear that both of you have plans tonight. Separate plans. 

Jungkook's phone goes off and he goes inside to take the call, after joining you in the pool. Trying to keep your nerves to yourself, you've had to endure his presence (lack of clothed presence). You went to rest on a beach chair while he swam. PAIN.

It's close to dinner time and you both get ready. Unlike Jungkook, you spend more time in the bathroom to do your hair and make-up, which he so “kindly” reminds you every time he wants to take a shower or goes to grab something there. 

The air is thick and it has nothing to do with the scent of hairspray and your fragrance. 

None of you ask what's your plan for tonight. But both of you can tell. No details though.

“You done here?”

You stop in the middle of putting your lipstick on as you give him a look, “Does it look like it?”

Ignoring the attitude in your tone, Jungkook comes up to the mirror and by doing that, he moves you to the side. He almost causes the lipstick to meet your cheek and you can tell, you almost see a smirk curling his lips. 

“Don't look at me like that. You've been here for a long time.” he says without sparing you a glance.

While you watch from the side with an open mouth and disbelief written on your face, he easily grabs his hair gel and starts doing his own hair. You fume, snatching your make-up bag and stomping away to finish what you haven't had the chance to – thanks to Jungkook. 

By the time you're done, Jungkook has left without saying another word. You haven't even heard him leaving and you feel pathetic as you search him around the house, all while trying to look for something. Turns out there's no one here and he has left. First and again. 

Luckily, Gabriel texts you not that long after and proposes a short walk. He doesn't want to reveal the restaurant location but he had to make a reservation, which already sounds fancy as it is. You're hungry and considering you're not in your best state, still fuming, you decide not to complain. First of all, it's not polite at all.

Gabriel is trying and just because you're in a mood to be a bitch, doesn't mean he's the one who deserves it. At least there's some sort of self-reflection happening. 

And two, maybe it's a good idea to walk around a bit to come to different thoughts. Plus, you will eat more by the time you arrive at the restaurant. 

He has cleaned up nicely, catching female eyes as you walk around for a few minutes. The walk has been short, just enough to make a casual conversation until you arrive.

The restaurant is located on a pier, waiters all wearing fancy white shirts and slacks – a difference from all the shirts with Hawaiian motifs and skin showing. 

As you're led to your table, you notice there's not a single table free and tonight it's fully packed.

“What is this place?” you ask as soon as the waiter hands you menus and leaves after. 

“It's the most famous restaurant on this island.”

Your mouth opens and then it closes again. “Are you insane?”

He laughs, staring at you fondly as if you haven't been too bold with your words. “This is what I like about you.”

“What,”

“Your honesty,” he hums, “It's refreshing. You don't try to woo me.”

“Why would I woo you?” you ask, genuinely curious but again, it comes out a little bluntly which causes him to laugh again. 

“Ouch,” he jokes, holding his chest as you stare at him across the table. “You're in this world to punish men for their overly huge egos.”

You purse your lips, “I'm not in this world for men, first of all.”

“Technically, you are thanks to one.”

Your nose scrunches up which causes him to laugh again. “That's besides the point.”

“So is there anyone who's been trying to woo you instead?”

“Besides you, no. Not at the moment.”

He cracks another laughter, “Touché. I deserved that.”

Giggling, you shake your head at your conversation.

“So tell me–” His words drift away because in the midst of your laughter, you spot someone entering your line of vision.

The world could not be any more cruel at the moment. There they are. 

Jungkook and Nara enter the pier as they're seated by the waiter, just like you were minutes ago. Jungkook, the gentleman he is, pulls out the chair for her as she giggles with a bright smile. Clearly wooed herself by the sweet gesture. 

“You've got to be kidding me.” you mutter so silently, that you're sure Gabriel can't make the words out but it's enough to silence him as he follows your gaze. 

He turns around and lets out a surprised, but light sound. 

“Oh, I guess me and your friend think alike.”

You try hard not to make a sour expression as you clear your throat. “Let's not interrupt them. What were you saying?”

“Is there someone waiting for you? Back in Seoul?”

“I told you, I'm single.” you chuckle.

“I know, but that doesn't mean there's not someone who's ready to fight for you.”

Your fingers stop clicking and you gulp. 

“So you're telling me there's no one in your life? Not even recently?”

It's like he can see there's something on your mind. You decide to come up with half of the truth. It's not like you'll see him again.

“There–It wasn't a relationship, more like a relationship of convenience–”

“So, a hook-up partner, right?”

Lips in a straight line, you hum in confirmation. “Yeah, whatever. We ended it, so it felt like a good decision to come here and just relax. Come to different thoughts.”

Cominically enough, you came here with a person you're currently talking about. The one who's sitting just a few tables from you two.

God, you sound so stupid. Of course, you're not telling Gabriel the whole truth. The purpose of coming here with Jungkook was to enjoy it, strengthen your friendship – the previous one you've had. You had an agreement. 

Somehow, you end up arguing thanks to you and it gets all twisted.

“Well, I know you were supposed to come here with your friends. So I understand why you would do that.”

“It's not just because of that. We were planning this for months. It was supposed to be a friends' vacation.”

He hums in understanding and doesn't get the opportunity to speak, as the waiter comes back and asks for your order. After you've ordered your meal, Gabriel leans back and studies you for a short moment. Just before you're about to ask about his lingering gaze and its purpose behind it, he speaks. 

“You're not really looking for a relationship, are you?”

Your brows shoot up at the unexpected question. For a while, you're not sure how to answer and your face says it all. In the end, you shrug and voice your confusion. “What's with the sudden question?”

“I apologize,” he smiles, “I had to voice my curiosity and I wonder if I was right.”

You lean back, fingers clicking against the table. “I'm not against it. If it comes, I welcome it.”

“Hm,” he hums. “So no hard break-up?”

“Why do you think so?”

“I don't know, there's just something about you that I can't seem to crack.”

“Sometimes some things aren't meant to be cracked.” you tell him, making him smile at the possible truth. 

“Sometimes,” he agrees. “I'm sorry if I seem to be nosy.”

“No, it's okay. Trust me, I win when it comes to curiosity.” you admit with a silent laugh. 

“I travel a lot, so I don't really have enough time to properly date. No woman wants a man who's ten months out of the country out of the year.”

“What do you do again?”

“Content creator.”

“Oh, so you're an influencer?” 

He laughs, “Not really. I do write for a traveling blog.”

“Maybe you'll find someone you can date and travel with.”

“Unfortunately, you don't seem that kind of person.”

You laugh, “I do enjoy Seoul. It's home by now.”

It doesn't take a genius to realize that the only contact he gets through women is mostly by hooking-up. Though, by the look of it it seems that maybe he's longing for something more stable and serious. 

“You know, this time I'm here for a good vacation. No work. No writing.”

“That's great. I'm assuming all that traveling is tiring.”

“It is. I enjoy it and I love my job. But I came here to maybe come to new thoughts.” he explains. 

The waiter brings you your food shortly after. There's no awkward silence during eating, you keep a slightly lighter conversation as Gabriel remains nothing but a gentleman. You would lie if you said you're purposely focusing your gaze on the plate, rather than on Gabriel fearing your eyes would wander somewhere they should not. 

You don't care. Maybe they noticed you and clearly decided not to interrupt you as well. Or maybe there's still that awkward awaiting of them noticing. Sipping on a drink, in a hope it will bring you to different thoughts and help you relax a little bit more. 

The reason for your slight discomfort doesn't need to be named. 

“You assumed, I've been through a break-up. Why?” you ask, curious as he seems taken back.

“I asked more than assumed,” he corrects. You don't seem to be buying that statement but remain silent. “At first I thought you're not interested in me, particularly. But I get a feeling you're just not interested in general.”

“Why's that?”

Yes. He might be right. You're not necessarily trying to search for someone. But you don't get a feeling as if you were against it.

“Let me be bold here.”

“Please.” you encourage him.

“There are men who can't keep their eyes off you. And I simply noticed by spending time with you.”

You give him a doubtful look which he quickly disregards by shaking his head.

“Men are men.” you simply tell him.

He makes a disapproving sound. “There are hundreds of women at the beach, but the majority of them stare at you.”

“Okay, now you're just giving me a compliment.”

“I am not,” he laughs gently, “I could but I guess it is a compliment when there are men thirsting over you.”

“Like I said. Men are men. They're thirsting over anything that wears a bikini.”

“That–can be true. But my point still stands.”

You clear your throat, “Okay. Maybe I'm not completely in a place where I'm searching for a relationship. I never hid that.”

“Of course. But that's why I just tried to prove my point why I think you're not interested.”

You stay silent for a second. He's technically a stranger but it seems as if you were having this conversation with a friend. You don't feel uncomfortable and there's no need for you to get defensive over this topic. He's wondering and that's fine. 

“It wasn't a relationship. Just a hooking-up type of one and we ended it. So I just need to get things back how they were.”

And comically enough, the person who's a part of this is sitting just right over there. Even though Gabriel seems to notice quite a few things, Jungkook and your history with him seems to be oblivious to him.

Why do you care?

You've been trying to keep it a secret as long as possible until it got out. So what if he knows the truth? It's not like you'll see him again – most likely. You don't need anyone to judge you two or look at you differently. You definitely don't need any more insights into this matter than your friends have delivered. 

Your own mind is a mess.

And on top of it, Jungkook and you are on edge. 

The mention of him causes you to look up. And fuck. What a mistake you make. 

You meet Jungkook's gaze, the intense color in them burning even from this distance as he's already looking at you. Your breath hitches in the most subtle way. While you stare shocked that he has noticed you, his brows are pinched together.

He's not exactly pleased to find you here. 

Nara sits on the opposite side of the table, so all you can see is her back but she seems to be saying something to him. Jungkook reaches for the glass of wine and takes a few sips, eyes not leaving yours. 

Then he's the first one to look away. That tiny detail affects you more than you're able to admit and you almost fume when the frown disappears from his face. You watch it all. His features relax as he talks to her back, obviously listening to her even though his eyes were elsewhere. Even that is kind of annoying. 

Nara gently throws her head back and giggles almost so loudly, that you hear some of it. With the most burning eyes you watch Jungkook smile and let out the prettiest gentle laugh.

“Are you okay?”

You quickly avert your gaze to Gabriel. “Yeah.”

“Thought I already bore you.”

You push out a laugh, wishing Jungkook is looking. But once your eyes stupidly wander back to him – he actually is looking. 

You make sure Jungkook sees the tiny provoking movement upwards of your lips. And he does. His eyes narrow, addressing the glare to you and only you.

“No, I'm starting to have a lot of fun.”

Gabriel's and yours glasses clink together comically in a synchronized way. But the only ones who seem to be on the same wavelength and having an idea – are you and Jungkook.

a/n: F-I–N-A-L-L-Y! believe it or not, nobody wanted to get this chapter out more than me! if you've been around and reading some of the asks, you probably know life got crazy and busy! as always, I'm super grateful to everyone who's been patient for me and cheering on me whether it was online or offline ♡ to every person who's been harassing me on the internet over an update, this one's not for you. I see you and I'm not interested. I've said this in one of my asks – you never know what someone goes through offline and what could possibly be the reason of their lack of activity.

on another note, this chapter should've had more scenes and so much more was supposed to happen, but from obvious reasons I've decided to post it in the end because I still think it's a good chapter. anyway, I hope you'll like it just as much as I liked it when I was writing it (no matter how much time it took me 🥴) all the love goes to you guys!

If you’ve enjoyed this chapter, please consider buying me a coffee☕️: https://ko-fi.com/personasintro ♡ Teaser for chapter 60 will be posted there!

goal: 9k notes 🌙

© 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐨 (𝐧𝐨 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭𝐬 𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐝) | 𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐫 𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐭: @kithtaehyung

[kazz-brekker]

i read the rise and fall of d.o.d.o. recently and it was not like. the best time travel book i have ever read but i am particularly hung up on a part where they are trying to stop one particular business in the past from being created for ~reasons~ but the way that they do this is by traveling back in time and trying to convince a guy in elizabethan england to invest in the east india company instead and at no point do any of characters acknowledge that the east india company is like. evil.

[minimomoe]

Not just Neighbors

Pairing: Logan Howlett (the worst Logan) x fem reader

Summary: Wade had a way of attracting the most unlikely people and keeping them around, but his newest roommate Mr. Tall, Dark, and Scowling is living with him until he figures out his way in this new universe. While Logan's come to peace with not dwelling on the past, the past always has a way of coming back to him.

Tags: MDNI!, Mutual Pining, Wade Wilson is a Little Shit, Next door Neighbors and roommate situation, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Smut, porn with some plot, unprotected sex, vaginal fingering, p in v sex, breeding (like a tad), oral (fem receiving)

word ct: 7.7k (get comfy)

song inspo: Iris- Goo Goo Dolls

AN: this could potentially become a throuple if you guys want. you just gotta let me know

You were there when Wade brought in his new flatmate for the first time. Wade had gone on and on about how he was akin to Jesus and how he managed to save you and everybody else in the goddamn world with the help of this newcomer and the rat of a dog he brought back home with him. You weren’t surprised at all. Wade had a way of attracting the most unlikely people and keeping them around. If you thought about it a little harder, it was one of the reasons why you were friends with Wade in the first place. His constant bouts of word vomit and funny quips annoyed you to no end but his kindness is what made you stick around. 

But as for Logan, Wade’s new friend, they were truly the most unlikely pair. You couldn’t wrap your head around how they had to work together for anything. You suppose the “how” didn’t really matter here with everybody smiling with the occasional conversation bursting with unadulterated laughter. Wherever Wade picked Logan up from, he fit in perfectly in the group. 

Somehow you got stuck with one of the newest guests at the get together, Mary Puppins, and you looked down at the mutt with a less than ecstatic grimacing smile. You didn’t like how naked she was, her skin only having matted tufts of fur in none of the places that mattered. 

“No no no, you can’t hold her and have that face. If you’re holding Dogpool you have to smile. She invokes happiness, like a vibrator,” Wade said. He took the dog from your arms and rubbed noses with her. “Who’s the prettiest princess in the world? Is it you or me?”

The floppy tongue of Puppins licked all around his face and you could barely hold back gagging. “Dude, that’s disgusting. Who knows what fucking diseases you just got.” 

“Not surprised that you find true love disgusting. You remind me of a snapping turtle with chlamydia. You got an itch you can never reach so now you have to make it everybody else’s problem.” 

“I just told you to stop tonguing down your dog, prick. I’d rather drink rubbing alcohol than do what you’re doing.” 

Your friend gasped loudly and clapped his hands excitedly. He pointed excitedly at Logan who felt the new pairs of eyes on him from across the room even though he was in the middle of a conversation with others. His eyes hardened on Wade, glaring at him before travelling over to you. You thought you had imagined it when he had first walked in, but Logan did not want to deal with you. His eyes softened marginally before sweeping back to the laughter that bursted in front of him, tilting into concerned territories instead of pure annoyance, but still paid you no mind. You had no idea what you had done to the man, but his adverse behaviour made you eye twitch. 

“He drinks rubbing alcohol! You two would get right along with your premature wrinkles from being sour pussies and the lust for emotionally reserved people. Actually, have you said hey to Logan, my newest roommate? Don’t worry, he bites. Once he sinks his teeth in you have to shake him off. I think we should get him a muzzle. I would show you the marks he left on me but they’re in places only my eyes can see.” 

He tucked the dog under his arm and dragged you closer to the other man hurriedly without asking if you wanted to say hey to Logan. He was just your type, dark eyes, dark hair, imposing stature, but totally and completely uninterested in you.

“If they’re for your eyes only, why show them to me?” 

“Because that’s what friends do! What are you, new here? You’ve helped me take some amazing nudes so don’t get all chaste on me,” Wade exasperated. 

Unfortunately he said that loud enough for Logan to hear, who lifted an arched brow at you and Wade’s locked arms. You were getting an eyeful of his chest that was unbuttoned in his blue flannel top that made it hard to drag your eyes back up at a respectable angle. 

“Logan, this is my bestie who is also the best damn cook this place has ever seen. She could cook cocaine from scratch if she put her mind to it like that one tiktok lady and it would be heavenly. I know you crazy kids will hit it off, but if you ever need a third,” he gave you a suggestive look. 

You jabbed your elbow in Wade’s side. “Stop that. And I have never made cocaine before and I will never do that,” you corrected. 

Wade had already left to talk to Vanessa and your irritation already ebbed away at the sight of the two of them together. You shook your head and gazed back down at Logan whose jaw was ticking and you guessed that you were the cause. You nervously shifted on your feet as you talked, not wanting to make the newcomer any more uncomfortable. 

“Look, I’m not gonna pry. I do want to thank you for whatever you did with Wade. I was getting worried about him but he seems genuinely happy as of late after knowing you,” you said sincerely. 

Finally Logan looked up to meet your eyes. He scanned your entire visage and something like pain flicked across his face. 

“Nice to meet you. You’re also one of Wade’s friends?”

“And next door neighbor,” you waved your hands. You received another thinly veiled grimace. “I think Al is calling me,” you muttered so you could leave this painful conversation. 

You couldn’t have known that Logan’s gaze stayed on you even after you turned your back on him to talk to Al. There was no way for you to know that Logan had met you before, in a different universe once upon a time, and you two were a lot more than neighbors. Seeing that you didn’t have an ounce of recognition for him was jarring but he couldn’t decide which one was worse. You having no memory of him, or you knowing just how low he got before finally getting his shit together. Whenever he caught your eyes across the room you quickly focused your attention elsewhere. As much as it bothered him, he thought it would be for the best to keep his distance. 

The night passed and you didn’t make another attempt to talk to Logan. In fact, he didn’t see you again until a week later when he opened his front door and you had your fist raised in the air ready to knock on the heavy wood. 

“Oh. Logan,” you drawled, dropping your hand. You were dressed for the heat in dark wash shorts that stopped high on your thigh with a cut up t-shirt of some new age tv show. Your hair was different from the last time he saw you. A million, tiny braids wrapped up in a knot on top of your head decorated with gold jewelry. Under your arm was a basket of clothes resting against your hip. You peeked over his shoulders, looking for anybody else in the apartment. 

“I wanted to grab Al’s laundry while I’m heading down there. You mind if I get it?”

This was his chance to try to set the record straight. Logan looked at you for so long you started to frown, wondering if you had said something wrong. 

“Your hands are already full,” he said without further explanation and you fell back when he went inside with the door closing in your face. The shock of his audacity is what kept you frozen in place, but not even ten seconds later it reopened with Logan holding Althea’s laundry basket. 

“You want to do it together?” You asked incredulously. 

Logan shrugged. “I got nothing else better to do.” 

You said nothing as he walked past you down the hall to the stairwell. All you could do is stare at his nice ass saunter away after you rolled your eyes. When down in the laundry room on the first floor you took the basket out of Logan’s hands, quickly sorted the clothes then placed them in the machine. You sat down on the bench, staring down at your hands, clenching your fingers into your palms before slowly stretching them back out. 

“What’s wrong with your hands?” Logan was still standing, leaning against a machine that wasn’t on as he looked at you with concern. You moved from stretching your fingers all at once to bending them one by one until they released a crisp pop!

“I feel like they're getting stiff. Gotta stretch so I can keep braiding hair for a few more years before the arthritis kicks in,” you sighed. “Sit down already. You’re making me nervous hovering over there like that.” 

He dropped himself on the other side of the bench you were sitting on, making it creak in protest. 

It wasn’t like you to fill the quiet with small talk but you didn’t know much about Logan and he seemed to be in an agreeable mood. After a few minutes of watching a video on your phone, you paused it to ask him a question. 

“So what do you do? You know, for a living?”

Logan slowly tilted his head to regard your inquisitive stare. “I work in construction.” 

You nodded, his occupation making total sense to you. He had the look of somebody who was blue collar. “I don’t know how it fully works but can you tell the city to fix the road on the bridge? It has holes bigger than a pornstar’s.” 

Logan chuckled at your choice of words and it made you grin. It dawned on you that it was the first time you have really seen a happy expression on his face and you wanted to see more of it. 

“I’ll move it up the docket,” he snorted. 

“I’m counting on you.” 

This was going much smoother than the first time you met him and you wondered if you had imagined the unsettling encounter in the first place. You wanted to test the waters without pushing your luck, so you went back to the paused hair tutorial on your phone and the quiet hum of the washing machines tumbling filled the empty space. You kept sneaking glances up at Logan who sat comfortably on the bench, taking up twice as much space than needed with his manspreading with arms crossed over his chest and his eyes closed. His chest rose and fell softly like he was sleeping. 

“You wanna say something, bub?”

Your cheeks flamed like you were caught doing something you weren’t supposed to. “Do you call everybody that?” 

Logan opened his eyes and looked at you from the corner of his eye.“I don’t bother myself too much with people’s names. It’s easier for me.” 

“So you can’t be bothered to remember my name, nice,” you snorted. Before he could respond you put your hand up. “It’s okay, I’ll forget yours so we’ll be even. I was just wondering if you styled your hair like cat ears or if you just woke up like that, but then again, it looks like that every time I see you.” 

He immediately ran his hands through his hair but failed to do anything about the style. You snorted then stretched your arm out to brush through his hair with your own fingers. The locks of hair were persistent in their upright position. You gave an amused hum before dropping your hand. “It’s pretty cute.” 

Logan bit his tongue from mentioning how the you from his universe always made fun of his hair. He couldn’t compare the two, it wouldn’t be right, but you were so obviously the same person he cared for without even trying. He abruptly got up, leaving you bewildered on the bench by yourself. 

“Call Wade to help you take this shit back to our place. I have something to take care of,” he said gruffly. Without another glance he left the laundry room. You watched his frame from the large windows walk down the street until he was no longer visible and scoffed. 

“Fuck you too, Logan,” you cursed under your breath. 

Your touch had ignited something in Logan, something that he needed to walk off lest he exploded. You had no fucking idea what you were doing to him and it wasn’t until Logan looked up and realized that he was about to walk into a new city limit that his feelings dawned on him too. You had left him in the previous universe, ending things with him before he was a full blown alcoholic because you didn’t want to be there when he self-destructed. It’s not that you had left without begging him to change, trying to help him get better, but he was too busy drowning in self pity to grab the hand that was reaching out for him. Seeing your expression full of hope and wonder in this world made Logan’s chest cave in from disappointment. It reminded him of a time where you loved him before he became The Worst Logan. He couldn’t find it in him to fully explain the turmoil that was going on with his mind and heart without it sounding utterly insane to you. The ghost of your fingers in his hair replayed in his mind for days as he kept himself busy with work and the gym, trying to minimize his chances of bumping into you to zero. The only problem was that it was an impossible task. You lived next door, and you were Wade’s friend. He could hear your voice through the drywall when he holed himself up in his room while you talked to Wade and Al. 

“Trust me, he doesn’t hate you. Unless you have a smart mouth. Then he might hate you a little bit.” 

“Is that really all the advice you can give me?” 

“He really likes Madonna?”

“Thank you. Thank you for absolutely nothing,” you groaned. 

—•—

Even though days have passed since his time spent in the laundry room with you, he was bound to cross paths with you again. He came home late at night at the same time as you who was having trouble with opening your door. 

“Shit,” he heard you mutter. “Fuck. Shit-fuck, where is my key?”

More rustling ensued as he came up the stairs to see you paw through your bag. You dropped your hand in futile defeat and pressed your forehead on the door with a soft thump. You then whipped around, making your way to his apartment, Wade’s apartment, and freezing like a deer caught in headlights when you see him down the hall. You started to backtrack but Logan called out your name.

“I was just gonna ask Wade to pick my lock again. I can’t get in,” you explained.

“Wade’s not in there. He went out with Vanessa,” Logan said. He took slow steps closer to you and you stiffened up. “I could open it for you.”

Your eyes widened at the offer, then you eyed him suspiciously. “Are you saying that but gonna fuck off to who knows where halfway through?”

Logan sucked his teeth in. “I’m sorry about that. I just— I needed to leave.”

You gave him a disbelieving stare. Even now with the tiredness of the day weighing you down you looked beautiful to him. You had your hair held back with a silk scarf that freed your face so your knitted eyebrows were showing clear confusion. Your full lips were hard pressed in a line with the corners tugging down.

“Fine. Whatever. Just open the door,” you scoffed. “Please,” you added after some thought. 

He would’ve opened it even if you yelled at him. You stood behind Logan, unable to see him extend a single claw to pick your lock. In no time you heard the click of your door being opened and you clapped in relief. Logan opened the door wide for you to step in, fully prepared to close it after but you took his hand to drag him inside.

“Thanks,” you muttered. “You’re coming home late too so you must be hungry. I doubt Wade got anything good to eat over there.” 

He watched you move around your space, kicking your shoes off at the corner and hanging your bag on some hooks next to the door. He did the same with his shoes, padding behind you in his socks as you walked over to your kitchen.

“Un-fucking-believable,” you scoffed. He looked at what you were staring at and it was your lanyard of keys sitting pretty on your countertop. “Well, is there anything you’re in the mood for?”

“Do you still have any of that lasagna you brought over last time? It was fucking amazing.”

“So you do eat my food,” you said bashfully. “Unfortunately I do not but I’ll make it again soon, buuut I do have spaghetti sauce with big ole meatballs leftover, so we can have that.” 

You gave Logan a hopeful look, silently asking him to stay for dinner. He didn’t know what else to do with himself in your tiny kitchen but he stuck around, scanning the walls and other surfaces for bits of you plastered all over the place. You had a little bit of everything tucked in all corners, books in haphazard stacks, miniature plants in colorful pots, and random trinkets tucked in corners. It wasn’t messy, but your space was lived in. It was a visual representation of your personality. 

In the same bowl you threw your keys in after you found them there was a large flat disc that he recognized. It was a token given to those who attended the same AA meetings he went to, the exact same design, that said “1 year”. You saw him eyeballing the coin and picked it up. 

“Oh yeah I don’t drink. Gotta keep my streak up,” you chuckled dryly. “It’s actually been three years but I don’t go as often as I should. I think I got a good handle on it now.” 

Logan’s brow raised up. He only recently started to go to AA meetings secretly on his own. While he didn’t have to hide it, having everyone close to him know how much he needed help made his stomach turn. The way you spoke about your past freely to him made him more willing to be open and honest with himself. 

“I’m trying to get better at that too,” he said in a steady voice, looking at you head on. You regarded him without any apprehension. “I go to the latest meetings of the night.”

“At the rec center on 5th?”

Logan nodded and you gave a soft smile. Your thumb brushed over the engraving on the token. “They’re good people over there. They really helped me get back on my feet.” 

You shuffled over to your pantry to pull out a pack of spaghetti, then to your cabinets to get olive oil and salt. 

You moved with ease in your kitchen like you could find all the stuff with your eyes closed and it reminded Logan of simpler times. Him coming back from a mission to you making a meal if it wasn’t the middle of the night. He’d stick to your side like a starfish, not wanting to let go until you started complaining about your dwindling range of motion. Then he’d pull you in his lap when food was served, having you sit and feed him until you slowly stopped bringing out two plates to just one so you could eat off of one together. This domestic scene that played in front of him was something that Logan thought that he had lost forever. 

“I grew up in Butt Fuck Nowhere, USA. All there was to do for fun was go to the liquor store and get drunk in parking lots until it wasn’t just for fun but a necessity to avoid everything. Over the years I just… wandered. When I ended up in the hospital and nobody came to check on me is when it really hit. I could’ve died and I wouldn’t have anything to show for my life.” 

Once you filled a pot full of water on the stove, you toyed with the token while leaning over the counter. You spun the coin around on the table until it reached the speed to where it looked like a transparent sphere. 

“I must’ve relapsed at least 50 times when I first started going to meetings. Hell, it took me almost two years before I even went to meetings regularly. I don’t mean to lecture you or anything. Lord knows I have no business giving advice to anybody,” you chuckled. The coin slowed and collapsed on itself. You flicked it over to Logan and he caught it under his fingers. “But I do know what you’re going through. So if you feel yourself slipping let me know. It would’ve been nice to have somebody to lean on back then.” 

The only noise that could be heard in your apartment was the soft bubbling of the pasta boiling. Logan picked up the coin that you slid over to him and turned it over in his hand. The timer you set for the spaghetti beeped so you went to tend to the pot, grabbing oven mitts for the drawer and prepped your strainer. You poured out the boiling hot water in the sink, hissing when the steam billowed in your face. 

“Careful,” Logan muttered behind you, his hand on the small of your waist. He took the burning pot out of your hand with no protection and placed it back on the stove. 

“It’s just a little steam,” you waved off. “You must’ve burned yourself. Here, run your hand under cold water first.” 

You took his hand to inspect it and saw the red welts and fingertips quickly disappear back into his normal skin color. You gaped at his hand, running your fingers over his palm like a psychic reader. 

“You’re like Wade,” you gasped in awe. “No wonder he brought you home.”

He carefully slipped his hand out of your hold and held it over the sink, exposing the claws that sprung from between his knuckles. When he retracted the claws you took his fist and inspected his knuckles, trying to find the exit point with knitted eyebrows full with concern. 

“Does that hurt you?”

“I barely feel it anymore,” he shrugged. 

“How much do you know about mutants?” Logan breathed out. This was the closest you've ever been to him. He could smell your shampoo wafting off of your hair and the slightest bit of your perfume. Just like his old timeline, you always favored vanilla and coconut scents. 

“Not much. Something, something, genetic mutation, the next step for human evolution, can be a variety of different powers or appearances. I know that a few of Wade’s other friends are mutants and I unfortunately have the base model human form,” you joked. “But it’s a good thing you’re not hurt.” 

You never stopped rubbing Logan’s hand and he never took it away. Instead he pressed his palms to yours then slotted his fingers in the available spaces until he was gently holding your hand. You nervously cleared your throat but didn’t say anything for him to stop. 

“I don’t know how much of the story you got from Wade, but I had my own timeline, my own universe, that I fucked up before he pulled me out of there to save this one. You were there.” 

That made your eyebrows fly up. “Holy shit— there’s another me? Or another variant of me. I think that’s how Wade explained it.”

“Yeah, another variant of you. And I let you down. I mean I fucking blew it at the time. So I see you now, knowing that I’m being given a second chance, and fuck I’m scared I’m gonna mess it up again.” 

All the agonizing looks and sudden disappearances finally made sense. You always felt like Logan had known something about you that you weren’t aware of, albeit you weren’t thinking it was this major. Still, the corners of your mouth curled up.

“Don’t go looking too far ahead in the future, Logan. You could start small by not running out of the room when you see me and you could always stop by for dinner.” 

Logan’s heart was drumming in his chest so hard he swore you could hear it. There you went again, bridging the gap between him and you like you always did. You stated things so simply because it was that simple to you. You went back to preparing dinner, dishing out plates of spaghetti for the both of you and diving into a story about the marital issues one of your clients were having. You were so animated when you talked, your eyes bright and hands waving, he held onto every single word. Before he knew it there was no food left on his plate and you two had been talking for nearly an hour. Once he saw you yawn he excused himself, taking your plates and washing them off, promising to see you the next day and you looked happy with his new attitude. 

So Logan started small just like you said to. There wasn’t a time when he saw you that he didn’t say hi, and your face lighting up made him want to say it again and again. He surprised you with compression gloves to help your hands and offered to do your grocery shopping whenever he could. You made good on your word by bringing twice as much food over to the apartment, going as far as packing him a separate plate with his name written on a neon post it note with your curly handwriting. You had no idea how long he kept one of the notes in his pocket, neatly folded until the corners were devoid of pigment. He would swipe over it while he went to his meetings and be reminded of your encouraging voice. 

When he felt himself itching for a drink, his throat feeling dry and the tremors in his hand returning, his first call was to you. It must’ve been almost 12 am when he called the first time, but you answered and talked him down out of the bar full of his temptations and into your apartment where you had two cups of tea and a listening ear. When he didn’t want to talk you offered a distraction, putting on the shittiest comedies you found and forcing him to sit on your couch and watch them with you until the tension in his shoulders melted away and he could finally hear the voices that were coming from the tv. By that time you were already in a deep sleep, your face peaceful and the most interesting thing to watch was you, not the screen. Movie nights became a normal, weekly occurrence for the two of you after that, something that Logan looked forward to. 

Even Wade and Blind Al noticed the change in the relationship. 

“It’s always ‘where’s Logan, Logan, Logan?’ with her. Soon she won’t even bother to cook for us anymore. I used to be the only person she’d make chimichangas for so why the fuck do you get a plate now? All she cares about is that slutty waist decorated with a big fat shiny belt buckle,” Wade complained. 

“Motherfucker, if that little angel stops bringing me her sweet potato pound cakes, I will drop kick you out of the window.” Al pointed her can in the middle of Logan’s chest. 

Logan’s phone buzzed on the coffee table and all three of them turned to face it. 

“Speaking of that gorgeous devil. Must be a slow day at work if she can be sexting you. Do you even know what that is or do you only send horny notes via quill pen and carrier pigeon?” 

“Mind your own goddamn business,” Logan said, snatching up his phone before Wade could reach it. It was a message from you, and it wasn’t a sexy message at all (to someone who isn’t attracted to you like Logan was). Instead you had sent him a picture of one of your client’s hair with an intricate braid design with only your fingers in the frame. You were wearing the gloves he gave you and he was too busy looking at that than the hair. Another message popped up. 

-took me only ten hours and she tipped the same amount as the price!!!

-finally gonna buy a new stand mixer

“Oooo she sends you hand pictures. I didn’t know you had a fetish for that, you freaky frogs. Cover your eyes Althea, they’re getting nasty.”

That earned Wade three stabs in his leg and Logan stepped out of the living room to call you back in peace.

—•—

Another night eating dinner together and you excitedly pulled Logan to the kitchen and made him cover his eyes with the palms of his hands so he wouldn’t peek. He heard the fridge open and close, matches being struck, and the soft ring of utensils being set down. Then you stood behind him, replacing his hands with yours. 

“Okayyy open!” 

Logan opened his eyes to a small, round cake displayed in front of him with a single candle lit in the middle. In elaborate cursive, “Happy One Month” was written in blue and yellow frosting. He had given you his token earlier this week from his meetings with a shy smile and you were ecstatic for him. He wasn’t expecting you to do anything more than that from you because he still had a long way to go. But you stood behind Logan, your hands resting on his shoulders while you peeked over his body to try to see his expression. 

“We need to celebrate things like this,” you said fondly. “You’re doing fucking amazing.” 

Your hands left his body and you went to get plates to serve the cake with. “I hope you like chocolate cake. You seem like a chocolate type of guy.”

Your knife was poised over the cake ready to slice down when you felt Logan’s heavy hands rest on your waist. You have been trying to be normal about him for weeks, not wanting to assume that he would be interested in you now because you looked similar to someone he knew before while your own attraction was off the charts. His body heat covering your entire back and circling around your abdomen made it impossible to make a steady cut in the cake and you pulled out a crooked slice. 

“Logan?”

You pivoted on your heels to face him. His arms never loosened around your body. His expression was dark and heady, ever so ready to eat you rather than the cake. Your gaze went from his eyes to his lips before dragging back up. Heat swirled in your stomach, one that has been growing since you met him but it was finally bubbling over. 

“Nobody else would think to do this but you,” he said in a low voice. It only sent tingles right down your spine. You ran your hands on his shoulders before hooking them together behind his head. Logan slotted one leg in between yours, his thigh pressing lightly on your sex, and your lower back pressed into the table. The cool tile barely soothed your sizzling skin.

“It doesn’t take much to do,” you shrugged. “I want to cheer you on.” 

One of his hands snaked up the front of your body until he cupped your chin, tilting your head back and you both shared open mouthed breaths. You combed his nape, watching his eyes roll back into his head and he cursed. Logan’s lips came crashing down on you with reckless abandon, his tongue making quick acquaintance with the inside of your mouth and you hiked your leg up his waist to lock him in closer. He lifted you up to sit you on the counter and the heights changed. You sat a little taller than him, controlling the kiss with just as much gusto and both legs around his waist. You pushed off the jacket he was wearing, not liking how many layers of clothing were separating you from him and his hands rubbed up your bare thighs till he was under your shorts. A moan that left you biting his lip escaped your mouth and Logan showed just enough restraint to say something. 

“Tell me you want this,” Logan groaned. His gaze was so deep, full of the regret of some other timeline where he had once failed you once before and he needed to know that this wasn’t some hyper realistic dream that he was letting himself get swept into. You cupped his face, kissing the stray tear that fell from his right eye before capturing his lips again. He was hungry for you, getting drunk off the salty kiss but had enough control left to pull away and repeated himself. “Say you want this.”

“I want this,” you nodded vigorously. “I want you. The Logan that’s here in front of me. I want all of you.” 

You were afraid that your answer wasn’t enough as Logan stared at you like he couldn’t believe that you were real. His head dropped to your shoulder and your hands made home in his hair. You gently scraped his scalp with your nails when you felt open mouth kisses on the side of your neck that shot electricity through your veins. You hummed quietly, sagging into his embrace and he continued his burning map of passion down your body. He heaved you off of the countertop, walking over to your sectional rather than your room because he couldn’t afford to waste any more time before settling into the soft cushions with you on top of him. Your mouths were back on each other, feverishly seeking what the other was offering in a desperate manner. Teeth clashing on each other did nothing to slow you down outside of giving you a moment to breathe before you could get lightheaded.

Logan’s large hands roamed over your body, nearly tearing off your shorts to feel the wetness of your pussy. You meweled when his fingers slipped past your folds and smeared the arousal he gathered from your entrance. Not wanting to be the only one feeling good, you worried his belt buckled, jerking the leather out of the way to free his length from the confinements of his pants. Your fingers wrapped around his cock strung out a long groan from Logan from deep inside his chest. You were equally as loud, whimpering whenever he circled your clit and clenching your thighs around his hips. 

“Holy fuck, Logan,” you shuddered. He inserted another one of his thick fingers, moving two in a scissoring fashion that made your vision hazy around the corners. You were tight and he wanted to take his time preparing you, but you were riding his hand and his palms were drenched in your arousal. You spat in your hand and pumped his cock faster, taking his mouth again for a dizzying kiss. 

“That’s enough,” he growled out. With a bruising grip he guided your hips to line up with his stiff cock. His tip nudged your oversensitive bundle of nerves and you hissed, your fingers digging in his shoulders. You sank down slowly on him, his cock splitting you open with a delicious stretch you had been imagining for weeks now. None of your toys could compare to the real thing. Logan coaxed you to keep your eyes on him while he fucked you from below. Your lashes were lined with tears as you slid down inch by tantalizing inch of his length. You still had your top on and that was a problem for Logan. He hastily pushed your shirt off of your body and was rewarded to your breasts falling in his face. If he could smother himself with them he could. Your nipples stood out, clearly begging for his attention, and he flattened his tongue to lap them up. 

You clutched him to your chest, gasping and writhing on top of him, still trying to get down to the base. He closed the gap, bucking his hips up with a satisfying slap to the back of your thigh.

“Yesss,” you hissed. “God yes.” Logan was fully seated inside of you, your velvet walls pulsing around him in an intoxicating rhythm. A sob of relief fell from your lips when he controlled the tempo from below. He could leave handprints on your ass with how tightly he was holding you, rolling your hips, hurtling you towards an orgasm. It was your turn to take off his shirts. You didn’t need anything to slow the large wave of pleasure ready to crash over you. Once you had a clear view of his top half, viewing his muscles that flexed from holding you up, you splayed your hands on his broad chest to steady you. His hands wrapped around your wrists, bringing one up to kiss the pulse point that was beating a hundred miles a minute, then drag his tongue over the vein. He left open-mouth marks up your arm, pulling you closer until it was your lips he was devouring once again. 

Logan’s thumb stimulated your clit and you whimpered in his mouth. You were forehead to forehead, eyelashes tangling with each other with each blink. You always broke contact first, too overwhelmed with the building pressure deep in your core and Logan would lure you back to him. 

“Don’t leave me all alone, pretty,” he moaned, and it was all it took to have you staring deep in his eyes again. 

You came crying out Logan’s name. You buried your face in his neck, rolling your hips feverishly against him to ride out the rest of your high. His arms laced around your back, holding you together as you fell apart. When you released the final heaving breath he flipped you on your back on the couch, slipping out of your sex to settle his head between your plush thighs. 

“Whaa–?” You were still dazed, floating in the cloud with slight tremors running through your body, only being brought back down to earth when you felt the brush of Logan’s beard on the inside of your leg. 

“You have no idea how good you smell,” he gritted out. 

He was practically salivating at the sight of your pussy, his hand cupping your ass and he spread your legs further apart so that no part of you was hidden. You rested on your elbows to watch him from down below, his hazel eyes blown wide at the feast presented to him. He dived in nose deep, messily eating you out, drenching the bottom half of his face from his spit and your arousal that dripped all over the couch. Your hands made a home in his head of hair, tugging him to and fro whenever you thought you were close. Arching your back off the couch offered you no break, Logan’s hands curled around you to keep you in place and firmly stuck on his mouth. He enjoyed the harsh pulls on his scalp, the way that you murmured sorry like you could actually hurt him. “Lo–logan,” you whined out. It was almost too much to bear. He was relentless, his oral fixation on your clit becoming numbing as your nerves were in overdrive. Your nails clawed his back, the tops of his shoulders, trying to find purchase in anything to keep from the mounting spiraling sensation that kept you crying for him. 

“Keep saying my name like that,” he commanded. It came out muffled, you didn’t actually hear a word that came out of his mouth, but you felt the vibrations of them and it made more tears fall from your eyes. 

He moved from fucking you with his tongue to slipping his fingers inside, crooking them up to your spot and keeping a tight seal on your clit. Your release hit you like a freight train. You clamped your shaking thighs together around his head, and Logan fucked you through it until you were sobbing, begging him to let you breathe. Every muscle in your body was trembling from the gratifying exertion. 

However, Logan was far from finished with you. 

His beard was slick with your second orgasm. He finally came up for air, kissing up your softness of your stomach, a slow trail through the middle of your chest.“You taste fucking amazing too.” 

“Let me see,” you crooned, cuffing the back of his neck to mash your lips on his. Both your arms and legs wrapped around Logan, containing his body in your embrace with the rest of the strength you could muster up. He slipped inside of your cunt in one fluid motion, fucking you to the edge once again. You fluttered and clenched around him, his strokes languid yet hitting your spot with precision. You were beyond fucked out, a blubbering mess that wanted him to finish inside of you. 

“Please, please, please give it to me. Come on– fuck, baby,” you begged. “Don’t you wanna come inside?” 

“Asking so nicely,” he gave a low chuckle. “How bad do you want it?”

Your hands squeezing his ass was all the answer he needed. Logan was notched deep inside of you, hips rolling and teeth bared over your skin. Desperation fueled him. The need to make you completely his, filling you up with his come. Your eyes wandered to between you, the point where you both were conjoined to watch the raunchy scene of his cock fucking your slippery pussy with amazement. You glided your finger over your clit for one more high with Logan’s filthy words in your ears. 

“Come for me, sweetheart. One more time and I’ll give you exactly what you're begging for. You already made a fucking mess everywhere–” 

You crested with a high keen that made everything flash white. The sheer force of your orgasm had you coming for what seemed to be a few long minutes. Words were useless to describe the lewdness of your moans accompanied with the final, sharp snaps of his hips on the back of your thighs. Logan couldn’t hold out any longer, finally spilling inside of you with a growling shout. His hands were sunken inside of a decorative pillow above your head on your couch that was ruined from his claws extending at the height of his peak. Ragged pants were shared between you, heart rates finally slowly. You locked your legs around his waist, wanting Logan to lay his full weight on top of your body like a stone press. You basked in the afterglow, grazing your nails on his skin, enjoying his body heat. He nestled further into your neck, breathing in your scent, content with your affectionate embrace. Logan could finally put all worries of ruining his relationship with you in this world to bed.  

—•—

You weren’t sure if you had slept for only a few minutes or hours, but you woke up feeling hungry, sore, and overheated.  It was all due to Logan, who was starfishing on top of your body. Only one hand was curved around your waist to ensure that you wouldn’t escape even while he was in the dreamlands and you chuckled. You took the liberty of touching him freely while he slumbered, craning your neck to skate your finger down the slope of his nose and cheek. His nose twitched, shaking off your finger to remain sleeping. You really had to pee but you didn’t want to disturb him. That’s when you realized that you were no longer on the couch like you were the night before. You don’t know how many times you did it, how many positions you went through with the insatiable man who craved you for hours. He must’ve carried you to the bed when you were too tired to walk on your own and when you ran you hand down on parts of your body that wasn’t buried under him you were clean. You thought about waking him up so you could convince him to take a shower with him when your phone rang on your nightstand. You felt your way to grabbing it, stretching your arm as far out as you could to snatch it off the table and read the caller ID. 

“Wade, this better be important.” 

“Good morning to you too, sunshine. I just wanted to say the headphones you got Al work great. After the third, or was it the fourth round, I put those bad boys on and couldn’t hear a thing. Send me the link so I can buy them for myself.”

You threw your arm over your eyes in embarrassment. “Fuck me, you heard us?”

“Oh yeah,” he snickered. “You two sounded like banshees fucking on a rollercoaster. Tell me, is he huge down under? I would take a hike down his happy trail any day.” 

“I’m hanging up now,” you said, and did just that. You tossed your phone back on your nightstand when Logan rustled. 

“Who was that?” His voice was even deeper than usual, hitting your ears with a delicious gravelly tone. You pressed your legs together at the sound of him. 

“Wade. Just know that he heard us and will be an annoying little shit about it.”

“Fucking great,” he groaned. You combed your fingers through his hair to soothe him. 

You were going to say something else when the state of your pillow caught your attention. 

“Holy shit,” you murmured, running your hand over the torn fabric. Three streaks sliced through it, exposing the soft down within. Logan tilted his head to see what you were looking at and winced. 

“I’ll replace that too.” 

You could only laugh in disbelief. His chin rested on your sternum and you held an amused expression, a small smile dancing on your lips. 

“What is it?” He asked. 

“My question is finally answered. You wake up with the little cat ears.”

Thanks for reading loves!! lemme know what ya think xx

M.list || Twitter || Ao3 || Ko-fi

[milkykotek]

success story: celebrity crush turned boyfriend

First off, I'm aware people may not believe me. However, that's completely fine! I simply don't care, because it happened, and I wanted to share. I will not be sharing explicit details due to privacy reasons for both me and my boyfriend, especially since he is a popular actor.

It took me a few weeks because I didn't want to jump into dating immediately. However, you can immediately manifest anything and quantum jump! I chose to do it step by step.

"Dp" is a term used in the LOA (Law of Affirmation, Assumption and/or Attraction) community to describe your desired person. It can be anyone. 3D is the 3d dimension, the world you see in front of you. 4D is your thoughts and the reality where everything you want is accomplished.

It happened, but... what did?

I manifested my celebrity crush! I've been interested in him for some time now (due to personal reasons me and my now ex boyfriend – whom I manifested, too – have broken up). It was quite a wild ride, to be completely honest, and as always, I turned out successful!

There seems to be a blockage many face while manifesting celebrities, or otherwise famous/popular people. They're putting them on a pedestal, and so shifting the focus from actually manifesting to idolizing them. Of course, if you're manifesting a celebrity sp, you're most likely a fan of them already – that's not the point.

You're god, you're on top of the universe, you're the most important person there is. I don't care, and neither should you, about your circumstances. They're nothing but that – a circumstance in the 3D. As we all know, the 3D reflects our beliefs, assumptions, and the things we attract by engaging them. We engage them by giving them attention and reacting. An example can be someone giving you a dirty look – "Oh my god, they hate me!," you could think, and that is your assumption. You're not sure if they were even looking at you, because they could've been looking behind you, or simply have a resting b*tch face. And so, you thinking they frowned at you is an assumption. It's quite easy to create one.

And it's also easy to change that! The LOA (Law of Attraction, Assumption and/or Affirmation) community likes to overcomplicate manifesting by claiming it is hard to change your beliefs. It really is not. Every time you encounter a negative thought (thoughts create assumptions, assumptions show up in the 3D), simply change it. It's as easy as it seems. "I feel so sad", you can change that by saying, "I'm so happy and relaxed". Don't accept things you don't want to experience. Something happened that upset you? No, it didn't. Instead of dwelling on it, ignore it or affirm "It never happened", create a new story, "(something else) happened".

how did you manifest a celebrity dp?

You manifest a celebrity just like you manifest anyone else. They're human, and I don't believe in free will – anything I don't want, I change. It may sound weird, but is there even such thing as normal when it comes to manifesting and all the possibilities the universe offers?

The only thing you must do is take them off the pedestal and regain your power and control. It's not about them – it's about you. They're the obsessed one, they're the one manifesting you, you're on their mind.

If you're searching for a recipe, there is none. However, I can share a few ingredients – things that helped me:

— affirming. Affirming is nothing more than repeating what you want to happen, ex. "My dp loves me."

— persisting. You really don't want to give up until you see results. Of course, it doesn't mean you have to manifest 24/7, but then again, we think all the time, and so we manifest all the time, too.

— living in the end. Living in the end is living as if you already had your desire. How would you feel? How would you act, what would you do? Surely you wouldn't be stressing over results and whatever it is you're manifesting, because you'd already have it. Belief isn't necessary as long as you affirm and persist, but it sure does help.

— having someone to talk to. Having someone you can talk to about your manifestation journey and being supported was really important to me. I want to thank my best friends Star and Aurora, for always supporting and believing in me ❤️. Others would've called me delusional but you guys stood by my side.

proof:

Just breathe. For this part, I wanted to share some affirmations I used.

"Everything I want is mine. Everything I want, I get. I want it, I've got it. I'm a master manifestor. I always manifest whatever I desire and want."

"My dp (insert their name) loves me. My dp wants me. My dp is obsessed with me. My dp constantly texts me. My dp is texting me right now. My dp misses me. I am constantly on my dp's mind. My dp is constantly thinking about me. My dp is my boyfriend (or girlfriend, partner, anything you desire). I am my dp's best friend and soulmate."

Good luck ❤️. 222

[alexlwrites]

𝑭𝒐𝒓𝒈𝒆𝒕 𝒎𝒆 𝒏𝒐𝒕

✿𝑷𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈: Jungkook x Reader

✿ 𝑺𝒖𝒎𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒚:  The one where everytime you get dumped you pretend that you never met the guy before to mess with their heads. To the point that if you run into them somewhere you reintroduce yourself and act like you’ve never seen each other before.

Enters fuckboy Jungkook who disappears after your night together, not knowing how much he was about to regret that choice.

✿ 𝑻𝒂𝒈𝒔:  Romance, Humor, Fluff, Angst, College AU

✿ 𝑨/𝑵: I’m truly sorry for this sad excuse of an update.

(Fanfic masterlist)

(support me on my ko-fi)

°•. ✿ .•°

𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐭𝐰𝐨 - 𝐎𝐛𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧, 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐩𝐲, 𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐲 𝐩𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬

(<<< part one)

“I can’t believe you’re doing this again” Jane’s voice rang through the phone as you walked down the streets towards your desired coffee spot.

You also couldn’t believe you were doing that again. You tried your best to live your life with no regrets, but men made it very hard.

“Have you seen him since he fled the crime scene?”

“Stop calling it a crime scene” you snapped.

“Well, have you?”

Your silence was enough of an answer. No, you had not seen or heard from Jungkook since he ran away from your bedroom in the dead of night, leaving behind only the smell of cologne and, funnily enough, a single sock. When you woke up that day to an empty bed, sheets crumbled and a mattress indented on the side where he had slept, all you could muster was a tired sigh of disappointment. 

And to be completely honest, you were disappointed with yourself, not Jungkook. You expected nothing less than a quick escape of him. But you should’ve known better than to hope for anything. Despite everything, you were still an idealist at heart and you thought that maybe just this once…

You shook your head obstinately. You had learned early on that no good would come from moping around for men who would never once feel any regret for their thoughtless actions and if your pain were to be always one sided, then it was better not to feel any at all. Not to dwell on it, move on, learn from it and be better. Or be worse, sometimes, as self-improvement was not always your goal.

Sometimes, you chose to listen to the tiny revengeful angel on your shoulder - who kind of sounded like Taylor Swift - that screamed for violence and vindication.

As your failed relationships started to pile up, you did reach a point where you had to wonder if you were the problem, as it was the canonical event of all 20 something women. But observation, therapy, critical thinking and hereditary pettiness brought you to the decision that it was not, in fact, your fault. At least not all of it. 

With that in mind, you left only the smallest of time slots in your booked and busy schedule to ponder and grieve over the fickle nature of boys’ interests. You had better, more important things to do, such as mindlessly scroll through Minecraft/AITA videos and save pilates routines that you were never gonna do. 

Still, in an experience intrinsically feminine, you allowed yourself a little treat to cope with the slight burn of despondency in the back of your mind. 

And so you directed yourself to the bougie coffee house near campus, hoping to drown your sorrows with an aggressively sweet and overly caffeinated drink. 

“You should slash his tires”

“Jane, please, we have talked about this.”

“You should totally slash his fucking tires!"

"Saying it louder is not gonna make me agree with you! Jane…"

Suddenly your eyes found Jungkook's across the room filled to the brim with depressed, financially irresponsible students, making you pause and hold back the urge to curl your lips in distaste. It bothered you that even with scared eyes as big as saucers and hunched shoulders to appear smaller, Jungkook still managed to look good. 

But you knew better than to let him know how much his presence and pretty face annoyed you. Boys like Jungkook only cared about having an impact on people’s life, very rarely caring if it was good or bad. He wanted a reaction out of you and you learned better than to give those away so carelessly.

So you frowned and looked away, the words practiced on your lips as you said “Some guy is staring at me.”

Jane laughed loudly on the phone “You’re a psycho, you know that?”

“I don’t know who it is, Jane, some dude” you stole a quick glance at him, finding vengeful glee at his shocked expression.

“Send me a pic of his reaction, I’m posting it on TikTok.”

You continued playing your part, ignoring your sister’s interruptions as you usually did “Of course I’m carrying a taser, Jane, I’m not an animal…”

“I’ll give you 5 bucks to tase him.”

“You know what, this coffee is not even worth the visual harassment, God I hate men…”

You walked out of the coffee house, hand empty but with a fulfilled sick sense of accomplishment as you stepped out into the street with a shit-eating grin.

“I hope you know what you’re doing” Jane said and you could hear the smile in her voice. Out of your two sisters, Jane was never the one to tell you to not do something, preferring to let you make your own mistakes.

And boy, did you. 

You left your big, beautiful, tattooed mistake behind you, ready to move on to something less prone to disappointment, such as fictional men and your Stardew Valley husband “Dont worry” you told your sister “I don’t.”.

—

“What are you doing?” Jungkook asked, left eye twitching slightly at your unbothered expression.

After your confusing exit from the coffee shop and a good amount of jabs from his friends, Jungkook had to hunt you down across campus, finding you sitting under a tree with a book in your hands, looking way too peaceful for someone who just had humiliated him.

You looked down at your book with an arched eyebrow “Kegels, clearly. Why?”

“No, I mean…” Jungkook’s frustration was rising by the second, the vein on his neck jumping out “Why are you acting like you don’t know me?”

You frowned.

 “Do I know you?” you asked, face doubtful.

“We have classes together?”

You blinked, impassive.

“We went on a date?”

A head shake.

“We slept together!”

“Nope, can’t say it rings any bells.”

That’s it. Jungkook was actually convinced you were clinically insane. 

“How can you not remember?”

“How can I remember something that never happened?”

“But it did! You’re crazy! I chased you for weeks!”

You smiled, a trap.

“So, you're, like, in love with me?” you ask, tone condescending. 

Jungkook scoffed and you weren’t sure if it was at the idea of love or loving you. “No, of course not.”

“So in this dream scenario of yours, we had sex but we weren’t together?”

“Trust me, this” he gestured between the two of you “is no dream scenario.”

“Well, aren’t you a charmer” you crossed your arms in front you, defensive “Let me get this straight. You, allegedly, chased me for weeks, but don’t really like me. Then, we had casual, out-of-relationship sex and then what? You banged my head against the headboard so hard I completely forgot about it? Your story is full of holes, my dude.”

You had to fight back the urge to smirk, energy spiking from feeding off of Jungkook’s stupefied confusion.

Nail in the coffin, you shrugged, turning your eyes back to your book “Maybe you weren’t that memorable and my mind deleted you like a childhood trauma.”

A slight left eye spasm was all the reaction you got at first, evolving to the pursing of pouty lips and the clenching of fists.

“You are insane” he said at last after seconds of turning clogs in his barely filled mind.

“Finally you said something true.”

Jungkook was equally bewildered and furious. He didn’t know what your deal was or what you were getting out of this, but your refusal to admit you had sex pissed him off deeply considering how much time and effort he put into getting you together.

“Also, I have to ask” you continued, clearly not done with your pursuit of driving him up the wall “what was your goal with this conversation? Chasing me for weeks to then sleep with me and then come here and tell me you’re not actually interested in me, but being upset when I don’t remember something that didn’t happen… What’s the point?”

Jungkook paused. Truly, he didn’t have much of an end goal in mind, actions fueled only by a bruised ego and a childish, borderline pathological need to prove himself.

When he didn’t answer, you stood up and gathered your things, keeping your head down to hide your poorly concealed satisfaction “I’ll let you ponder on that” you said “Don’t worry about reaching out with an answer, though.”

Finally, you looked up at him, face masked with faux awkwardness. “Anyway. Nice to meet you, I guess? No, actually, not really, this was weird as shit. You seem to have some things to figure out. Get help and take care, my dude.”

And so you left, leaving behind only a cloud of your bergamot perfume and a perplexed Jungkook blinking owlishly. 

There was a sudden influx of thoughts rushing through his usually much less busy mind, the general tone of confusion ringing amongst humiliation and frustration.

When Jungkook first set his greedy eyes on you, he had an inkling that you’d be a handful and in the beginning, you truly were. You took pleasure in making everything much more difficult for him, running from his presence like the plague and approaching the whole subject of him like one would the subject of warts - reluctantly and with caution.

And if he were honest, he wasn’t too sure on why he insisted, but one would be surprised at how far Jungkook would escalate things out of spite and resentment.

It was that same sick combination of flavors that drove him insane for weeks, moving him to pester you until you gave him a chance. And he took it, lord, did he take it.

That night, he made every possible effort to please you, cloaked in his best, non-ranch stained clothes and best non-arrogant behavior.

And when morning came and he opened up his eyes before you did, tired out from the epitome of his bestest behavior, there was a moment of quiet as he watched you eyelids flutter delicately, soft arm draped lightly over his waist.

The night before had been… Fun, he thought, even before you had reached your bedroom. You were weird and used a bunch of words he didn’t know, but you also made him laugh and listened to him babbling about his interest without once looking bored, even going as far as asking questions about his farfetched MCU theories.

And despite your many (too many to count, insurmountable really) differences, you had… Chemistry, one could call it. Thick chemistry, palpable tension, pushing you towards each other despite your previous attempts to go the other way.

But no amount of chemistry could break Jungkook’s routine as inertia pushed him out of your bed, practiced steps light as feathers as he escaped your apartment with one last look to your sleeping form and somehow one less sock on his feet.

And as he left, there was an undiagnosed pounding in his heart he tried to chalk off as the result of his Dorito and monster drink based diet, but his eyes kept flashing back to where you rested even when he was miles away.

He tried to make sense of your persistent presence in the back of his mind. You were cool, he’d give you that. Hot too. But it didn’t matter how your body fit his like they were manufactured together or how your passive aggressive way of flirting (or insulting, he had a hard time telling them apart with you) never failed to steal a snort from his lips. And yeah, it was kind of nice when you called him cute everytime he didn’t understand something you said. It brought a blush to his cheeks and wild butterflies to his stomach, because… Well, no one had ever called him cute after middle school. Hot? Yes. Sexy? Once a week. Biggest dick ever? Yes, both meanings.

But not cute. And deep down, under layers of aggressively oversized shirts and muscles… Jungkook kind of liked being cute.

Jungkook shook that thought away. Despite all that, you were a point he had to make.

And he did! Point proven and undisputed, up until you looked at him like he was a silly little kid throwing a tantrum (which he kind of was) and questioned him and his sanity,

But Jungkook was obstinate and, even more, the sorest of losers. He had proven himself once and would again! He was a man on a mission, he decided, watching you walk away from him while mouthing the words “I’ll pray for you!”. And the mission was to either send you into a psychiatric hospital or get you back into his bed.

And if the butterflies in his stomach fluttered excitedly at that second prospect, he didn’t allow himself to ponder on it for a single second.

°•. ✿ .•°

[Taglist: @artsxpe ; @010op10 ; @ladysandy ; @707sblog ; @notvantaes ; @borahaeb1ch ; @akshstudios ; @beautyiisterror ; @lovelycammy ; @mushysunrise-deactivated2022030 ; @hani0407]

My taglists are open! Click here to be added <3

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[akutasoda]

'do you think that this, us, ever could be something more'

synopsis - you both have painfully obvious feelings for eachother but both of you are hesitant to take that step until they decide to brave their feelings and confess in their own way

includes - dr ratio, argenti, jiaoqiu, aventurine

warnings - gn!reader, fluff, slight angst (mainly aventurine), pining, wc - 2.2k

a/n: guys i promise im working on requests :))

dr ratio ★↷

ratio detested you, namely the way you constantly refuted his words and theses. nonetheless, he adored nothing more than seeing you everyday - he'd say you were the one competent mind to converse with in an average day but you both knew deep down that it was purely because you enjoyed each other's company.

your friendship with the doctor was one of the most unlikely, others at the intelligentsia guild couldn't imagine anyone developing more than a simple coworker relationship with ratio. to some, even maintaining something as simple as a coworker relation was an arduous task.

however, you never saw the issue. ratio was a dear friend, it's merely the fact that he naturally gave off a rather off-putting first impression thanks to his slightly gloomy and eccentric nature. deep down he still retained these qualities but he could be a lot more caring in his own way.

although, for all his intellect, ratio struggled to maintain a grasp on his own emotional intelligence. a fact that could maybe be said for you as well, although compared to ratio you simply didn't know how to, or even if you should bring up the undoubtedly growing feelings for the doctor.

ratio knew what he was feeling, simply a release of oxytocin that caused those fuzzy feelings when he was around you. however he couldn't quite piece together the idea of you being behind those feelings, why your friendship wasn't enough, longing for something more than what you two currently had.

he'd never confide in anyone about his dilemma - he didn't need unwanted outsiders budging in on his personal issues. although, ever since he started looking for solutions, he started noticing signs that had previously gone unnoticed. namely how you acted around him.

a major concern between two crushes is the possibility of unrequited feelings. veritas would prefer to avoid such mistakes and push any potential feelings away if that was the case. so he often dwelled on the possibility of such. but it appeared that all the signs he misconstrued as friendly gestures and behaviour from you, could in fact be taken as more romantic.

he observed more as he had to be one hundred percent and in his quest, his mind slowly became more aware of his own feelings and why they only seemed to blossom more around you. ratio hated it. his feelings were like a gnawing feeling, constantly playing on his brain and it got to the point where he couldn't focus on his research - he would blame you, but he blamed himself more.

veritas knew he had to do something about it. and so he did. ratio was never one to beat around the bush, and so he took a direct approach to his confession - as soon as he could, he sought you out and told you about his feelings. relief washed over the doctor's unknowingly tense form when you told him about reciprocating such feelings.

you couldn't help but note his slight embarrassment afterwards, made evident by the heavy blushing which he quickly covered up by wearing his plaster head.

argenti ★↷

the encounter between the two of you among the cosmos was one of the more fortunate ones. a fleeting moment within the universe that set a start for the tale of a friendship that would last practically forever.

in his opinion, meeting you on his journey felt like a blessing from idrila themselves. in argenti’s eye's you were practically breathtaking in any way, everything about you from your mere presence to your voice to your appearance. it was only natural that he wanted to know more about someone such as yourself - and he was forever grateful he indulged his curiosity.

a blossoming friendship was easily formed between the two of you, one that had solid foundations to continue headstrong, even becoming something more should that be the path you took together. for all his charms, argenti made a true friend - someone that was always there for you in your corner, supported you, a pure soul that listened intently, someone that cared.

and for someone that seeked the aeon of beauty, it was hard for him to miss seeing the beauty of which were his feelings. flurries of emotion that could hold a powerful grip on someone's heart and actions if left unchecked and untended to. so as soon as those signs of warmth and calmness appeared strongly around you, argenti knew what it was.

that infatuation and pure admiration for you could only suggest that he subconsciously longed for something more than a friendship. in truth, argenti was devoted to idrila. he found beauty in practically everything, followed idrila’s teachings diligently and so he never truly imagined having someone else in his life that meant more to him than an aeon he devoted his life to.

but it couldn't be ignored, those feelings couldn't be left to simmer in the back of his mind as deep down he knew he wasn't content to sit by and keep the current relationship with you - although if that was what you wished, he would gladly sacrifice his own feelings just for you. however argenti was one to take risks.

a direct approach to voice the beauty of his feelings for you, should you decline them then so be it, but he wouldn't know until he tried. comoared to his usual gestures which could often be described as “grand” or “charasmatic”, a confession from him would be noticeably more gentle and intimate.

a moment of pure safety, he'd waste no time in reciting to you exactly what he wanted to say with a smile of lovestruck fondness as he presented you with a rose, all the thorns layed upon it's stem signalling the dedication and sacrifices he'd be willing to make for you - it's petals in full bloom.

jiaoqiu ★↷

being friends with jiaoqiu was never easy, although nobody exactly said it was easy. the pink foxian had the tendency to be rather cunning, mischievous even, and these traits only seemed to double when you actually got closer to him.

however, some could argue that eventually one would get used to jiaoqiu and everything he'd do or say - to an extent, they wouldn't be wrong but it still never made it any easier on most days. (un)fortunately you still put up with him as he was still a dear friend in the end.

jiaoqiu did have people he acquainted with or even people he was friendly with but ultimately he still had very few he would truly refer to as friends. he spent most of his time serving his dedication to helping the merlins claw and that was mainly his sole priority, jiaoqiu was determined to treat her.

so naturally, those closest to him did end up being those close to feixiao in the first place. yet he still found time to spend with those he held dearest, which was either you or moze and feixiao.

however, it didn't go unnoticed to either you or jiaoqiu that there was something there. something that couldn't be described as a simple friendly relationship, yet neither of you addressed it and continued on with your lives as if that feeling wasn't there in the slightest.

jiaoqiu knew very well that he longed for something more with you. you were the only person which drew out these warm feelings from him that had been killed during his time in the field and yet you had a way of bringing them back to him.but he simply couldn't cime to terms with it.

he'd withdraw from practicing medicine once before due to a broken heart, and deep down a part of him feared that you would make that a second time. so he tried to drown away those fuzzy feelings and tell himself over and over that you two were simply just friends, nothing more despite the clear longing urge to be that made him feel an immense sadness at the idea of never being something more.

and so jiaoqiu was hesitant. he wasn't dumb and he knew exactly how he felt for you, and he even could pick up on the way that you felt the same but somewhere in his mind he'd convinced himself that it was simply his own wishful thinking, not your true feelings. however, his hesitancy couldn't last much longer as he cursed you for affecting his work.

he'd be more of a fool to continue on without coming to grips with his blaringly obvious feelings for you, he knew it would eventually eat him from the inside out. and so jiaoqiu would begrudgingly find a way to confess, still letting that nagging fear affect just how he'd do so.

he'd catch you in the morning, handing you a personal meal for lunch like he occasionally did when he had free time in the morning. except this time, your gaze would immediately notice the small note tucked away within, one that you wasted no time in reading it's contents.

a part of him regretted giving you a note as the anticipation weighed heavy upon his mind, but otherwise he knew his nerves would've got the best of him. jiaoqiu specified in the note about his feelings, and how if you were to reciprocate them then you should come find him. this way he could avoid the painful rejection if it so came to that. until then, he waited in anticipation, still fearing your answer.

aventurine ★↷

he had coworkers, he had business partners who lways got the short end of the straw in a deal with him, and he had acquaintances. someone could even say they were the bare minimum for being a good use as stoneheart for the IPC. however, he did have some people that were closer than that, namely veritas and you.

and to reach that level with him was no easy feat. the man known as aventurine had put up many walls, facade after facade all in order to keep what little of himself left safe. the small parts of him left untouched by experiences that were painfully his and yet he could fool himself into believing that they belonged to an identity that no longer existed.

sometimes ‘aventurine’ didn't feel like him. it wasn't. if anything it was another defense that the past identity had let be forced upon him to help scramble for something good in his life. for someone blessed with luck, it never felt like it.

but his luck finally brought him something pure, something that finally felt like luck. and that was meeting you. a light that shined ever so brightly in his life despite all else, evoking feelings from him that he swore he buried when he bid goodbye to his past self. yet you dredged them from the darkest depths of himself, the parts that he feared and constantly kept hidden from himself.

however, old habits die hard. the very moment aventurine became conscious of what had bubled to the surface of his facade, he desperately tries to push them away. those warm, fuzzy feelings that he felt around you meant only weakness to him - something that you could choose to exploit.

his feelings were merely a chip. a means to use and manipulate at his disposal. they got in the way majority of the time, they could reveal ones desires or wants unknowingly and that never led to anything prosperous - especially in a high stakes gamble. but they were a chip for him and him only.

nevertheless, how could he possibly ignore them any longer when it seemed that his own brain was working against him. it made him feel all the more vulnerable, especially because of the idea of him confronting them just to have his heart painfully stomped upon and have his feelings left to painfully mull over into bitter sadness and reject.

fortunately, aventurine was quite the adept one at reading other people - a skill he'd learnt very quickly. so the hopeful part of him observed how you acted around him, picking up on the obvious signs that he previously misconstrued as friendly or simply ignored. eventually, he decided that the gnawing feeling needed to be sorted.

and so aventurine decided it was best to finally let down those final walls and comfess. because he was putting himself in a vulnerable position, he would get straight to the point. people may guess that he would go all out for a confession but that would be the last thing he'd do.

admittedly he let a small part of his fear get the best of him but he would still build up the courage to request to see you and confess face to face. he truly didn't know what he would do if you turned him down but he'd figure that out if it happened. it wouldn't go unnoticed by you that he held one hand behind his back at all times during his confession - the only time in ages that he'd been completely honest with his feelings to someone he trusted.

taglist - @little-miss-chaoss, @frankiesteinn

[kaisacobra]

Calypso's Curse - Tara Carpenter

Summary: Tara was used to having bad things happen to her all the time. She was used to see people leave her life as if she meant nothing, but she never thought you would be one of those people, especially if she was the one who caused it.

Warnings: Fem!Reader, mentions of violence, angst

Word Count: 5.1k

Second part of Second Best

Tara had gotten used to waking up with the sunlight bothering her eyes and having a strong headache caused by the hangover. Like any other Saturday, she got up slowly and stretched with a grimace, proceeding to go through the rest of her morning routine.

Everything seemed to be as usual until she stepped out of the room and into the kitchen. There she felt the unusual heavy mood in her apartment, normally filled with life and multiple voices chatting animatedly. Something had happened the night before. Something was wrong.

Sam had her back turned, cooking something in a pot that smelled very good. Sitting at the table in front of the stove, their roommate Quinn was scrolling through her phone with no expression until she noticed Tara standing right in front of her. With a playful smile, the redhead lifted her head to face the girl.

"Good morning, roomie. Did you have fun yesterday? I heard it was a blast."

Tara noticed when her sister's back tensed upon hearing about her presence, but she still didn't take her eyes off the stove to even offer a greeting. Flashes from the previous night appeared behind the younger Carpenter's eyes, and she remembered some things, especially the part where Sam broke into the house and tased a guy.

If anyone should be annoyed, it should be me. She thought with irritation as she crossed her arms. Deciding to ignore Sam's apparent bad mood, Tara turned her gaze back to Quinn, who still had a look of amusement on her face, as if she knew something Tara didn't.

"It was great! Until someone ruined my fun." Tara replied with sarcasm in her voice, making a point to increase the volume of her speech so that Sam could hear it well.

Perhaps it was a bit unfair to be so rude to someone who only wanted to protect her, but Tara was fed up with feeling like she was in a prison while attending college in a city of endless possibilities. The girl didn't want to be stuck dwelling on the past, and what better way to keep her mind occupied than drinking and dancing with strangers until 5 in the morning?

Besides, she wasn't alone. She knew that y/n would never let anything bad happen to her. Tara was safe.

"Oh, I think you had more than enough fun." The older Carpenter finally turned around, carrying a plate of omelets and a judgmental tone. She placed the plate on the table in front of Tara, and the girl felt some of her anger dissolve with her sister's gesture. "You don't remember anything that happened?"

From the corner of her eye, the younger girl could see Quinn looking back and forth between the two sisters as if witnessing a tennis match. Tara sighed and finally sat at the table, picking up a fork to start her breakfast. "I remember you ruining the vibe by attacking some random guy."

"There's even a video!" Quinn added with a laugh, placing her phone on the glass surface of the table and showing the screen to the two girls. The video was an endless loop of the exact moment when Sam used the taser on the guy's groin, and he fell flat on the ground. The redhead lifted her head, expecting to see smiles on the faces of the two sisters like hers, but upon seeing Sam's stern expression, she quickly added, "But he deserved it, Tara. He was a jerk."

"No, no." The older Carpenter shook her head negatively, crossing her arms and leaning against the counter behind her, her face displaying a mix of irritation and sarcasm. "Apparently, Tara's idea of fun is to be harassed by a disgusting man. I'm so sorry for ruining your incredible plans to become a victim of some idiot."

The younger one huffed with irritation and aggressively stabbed a piece of the omelet with her fork. Deep down, she was grateful for what Sam had done, even though it might become gossip of the week at her college. But Tara was too proud to admit it. So, instead of thanking her sister, she rolled her eyes and started chewing on her breakfast. "Nothing serious was going to happen, okay? Y/n was there; you know she would never let me do something like that."

The already awkward atmosphere in the room seemed to chill even more. Sam straightened her back further, and her jaw clenched as she stared at her own feet. Quinn, notoriously known for not taking anything seriously, raised her eyebrows and looked at Tara like a deer caught in headlights. Something was definitely wrong.

"What?" The girl asked, trying to swallow the food in her mouth, pretending that her anxiety didn't weigh on her throat like a bowling ball.

"Tara, you were awful to y/n yesterday. Seriously, she left the party crying because you said some outrageous things." Sam sighed and ran her hand over her forehead as if she were exhausted. Her tone wasn't angry, but it was worse because it was the calm voice of someone so disappointed that they had given up. "Why do you do this? You know she loves you, so why do you hurt her like this?"

Tara's stomach twisted into a knot upon hearing what she had put you through last night. It was true that she wasn't the best friend, but she would never wish harm on you, especially if she were the one at fault.

"Are you sure about that? Are you sure you don't enjoy breaking her heart into pieces every time, and she brings you the shards, hoping you'll glue them back together?"

"Shut up." Tara silenced her intrusive thoughts and looked at Sam as if nothing were wrong with her. "We're friends. We argue sometimes, but it's normal. I'll talk to her today, and everything will be fine."

That statement sounded more like wishful thinking from Tara than anything else.

"I don't know, maybe you should call her to make sure," Quinn spoke again, this time looking at Tara with a kind of amusement. "Who knows, maybe she's tired of being your plaything?"

"Oh, because you know all about turning people into your playthings, don't you?" The younger Carpenter retorted angrily, grabbing her phone with a sudden need to prove the redhead wrong. She searched for your contact number and pressed the call button, muttering a curse at her roommate. "Fuck you, Quinn."

The call rang twice. The other two girls stared at Tara with curiosity as she held the phone close to her ear, silently pleading for you to answer soon so she could wipe that smug smile off Quinn's face.

"The number you called is currently unavailable."

Huh?

The girl looked at the screen with confusion on her face. That had never happened before. You always answered her calls, even the ones made at 4 in the morning. Could it be a signal problem?

She went to her text messages and started typing a message. It wouldn't be as instant as a call, but at least you would respond when you read it. Tara typed a simple message (are you up?) and pressed send, but...

The text was green. Why was it green?

"Oh... Maybe she blocked you, roomie." Quinn's voice made Tara jump a little. The girl was so stunned that she didn't even realize she had spoken aloud. She looked between Sam and Quinn, one with evident disappointment and the other with mild surprise.

"No! No, this..." Tara vehemently shook her head, gripping the edge of the table as if it were the only thing keeping her grounded. "...This has to be a mistake!"

"Tara, I told you that you went too far-"

"NO! Okay, just... just no!" The girl interrupted Sam with a shout. Her breathing was erratic, and she suddenly felt dizzy. You always promised her that you would be here, always came back, no matter what happened. "I'll call Mindy, okay? They must be together, and y/n will explain that her phone broke or something. Everything's still fine."

With trembling hands, Tara searched for Mindy's name in the contacts list and pressed call as soon as she found it. Her feet were tapping on the floor at a frenetic pace, and she had to restrain her own hands to avoid biting her nails and showing even more of her anxiety in front of Sam and Quinn.

Tara knew that sometimes she pushed you too far, but she only did it because it was necessary, right? She wasn't like her intrusive thoughts suggested, she didn't truly wish you harm, right? She couldn't have hurt you that much, she just... couldn't.

"Tara, why the fuck are you calling?" Mindy questioned as soon as the call was answered, not waiting for any greeting beforehand. Her voice overflowed with impatience, which wasn't uncommon for her personality, but Tara felt surprised by how hostile the tone sounded.

"Shh. Speak quieter; Y/n just went to sleep." A whisper belonging to Anika was heard not far from the microphone. Mindy apologized, lowering the volume of her voice, but Tara had already heard enough to feel her heart racing.

"What do you mean, she just went to sleep? It's 9 am!" She spoke with concern, standing up from the chair she was sitting in, letting her restless feet carry her back and forth. "Is she sick? Does she need me to bring some medicine?"

On the other side of the table, Sam frowned in concern at what she was hearing. "Y/n is sick? Does she need anything?"

Tara gestured for her sister to wait with her free hand as she tried to calm herself. She could barely remember the last time you were sick, but she vividly remembered going to your house and seeing you lying in bed, looking like you��d been hit by a truck, loopy with fever. She was so young at the time that she had been terrified, thinking that her curse would finally catch up with you, and she would lose you to some stupid illness.

She remembered helping your mom make soup and feeling like the happiest girl in the world when she saw you eating it with great effort despite your sore throat, just because she had made it.

The curse didn't catch up with you, and Tara felt useful for the first time in her life.

"She's not sick; she just took a while to sleep because she was too busy crying her eyes out yesterday." Mindy retorted venomously. "What the hell is your problem, Tara? You destroyed her!"

"I-I didn't mean to... It wasn’t my intention to..."

"Wasn’t your intention?" Mindy interrupted the girl's stammer with an aggressive whisper. "You've been an asshole to her for years, and you still want to tell me you had no intention?!"

"I'm sorry, okay? I don't know why..." Tara let the words come out of her mouth with effort, trying not to let the tears that threatened to fall escape. "I don't know why I'm like this; I just... Tell her I'm sorry."

Mindy scoffed mockingly. "Tell her yourself. And preferably, wait a week to do it because I don't think Y/n wants to see you anytime soon."

When the call ended, Tara could swear she heard her own heart crack. She looked at her hands, one still holding the phone, not knowing what to feel or what to do in the moment. Maybe in a few moments, everything would hit her like a tsunami. Anger, shame, panic, sadness, all directed at herself. But at that moment, she just felt nothing, as if a void had opened in her chest and gradually expanded, consuming her entire being.

Sam asked if you were sick again. Quinn wanted to know how you were feeling. Tara didn't answer any of the questions and ran as fast as she could to lock herself in her room.

_

It had been a week since Tara last saw you.

Your absence hit her like a train, but the girl was doing her best to respect your space since all this situation was her fault anyway. It was so strange not having you by her side, even as a silent presence, that she felt like an incomplete puzzle.

At least she knew you were okay, and that was enough to calm some of her nerves. Of course, psychologically, you weren't in the best place, but Mindy had assured Tara (after much insistence from the girl) that you were eating, sleeping well, and attending classes just like always, which made the younger Carpenter feel relieved for not ruining even more of your life.

The group of friends seemed to be under the custody of divorced parents. One day, Tara would meet Mindy and Anika for lunch, and they would talk civilly, even though the disapproval of the twin about her actions was evident. The next day, she would have lunch with Chad and Ethan, who tried to lighten the mood with silly jokes and sought Tara's opinion on "guy stuff."

She knew this rotation scheme was also happening with you, and Tara couldn't help but wonder how you were dealing with it. Did you talk about her when she wasn't around? Or maybe you were trying to erase any trace of Tara from your own mind?

Either way, in your absence, Tara had plenty of time to sink into her own pit of guilt, which gave her time to analyze her own actions. She didn't know how things had escalated to this point, but she knew exactly how they had started.

_

You were both 13, nearing the end of summer, and about to embark on the frightening world of high school. Tara remembers every detail of that day perfectly because it might have been the best day of her life. She recalls the two of you lying on her bed, the bedroom door closed to keep the cool air from the air conditioner from escaping into the hallway. Her mom wasn't home, as usual, but Tara couldn't remember the excuse this time.

Tara remembers seeing you laugh at some scene from Child's Play playing on TV while finishing your watermelon popsicle. She noticed that the sweet treat seemed to make your lips redder and more hydrated, and a question about their taste seemed to pound in her brain like a drum. She shook her head to shake that off, feeling her own face warm.

"What nonsense! Can't you just, like, kick that doll hard?" You were lying face down, but turned your head to flash a smile at Tara. She could barely comprehend your words, finding it more interesting to notice how your legs were stretched upward in the most adorable position and how your eyes seemed to sparkle with amusement. You were clearly happy, and Tara was happy about that.

"It's the power of the script! I don't think you can defeat a possessed doll with just a kick." Tara answered your question, shrugging and looking at her own hands, where the remnants of a strawberry popsicle were. Anything to avoid looking at you and feeling whatever was happening in her chest.

A moment of silence settled for a few seconds, and Tara thought you had returned to watching the movie until she heard your voice again. "Was it good?"

She raised her head in confusion and looked at you with a frown, which was met with a thoughtful look from your side. "What do you mean?"

"The popsicle. I wanted to taste it, but I know strawberry is your favorite, and there was only one." You pouted, and, God, how Tara felt something inside her sway. Her gaze fixated on your lips for a few seconds, and all her thoughts turned into mush.

"You can taste it on my lips if you want."

Shit. Shit, shit, shit.

The girl closed her eyes and grimaced, regretting the words as soon as they left her mouth. Damn her intrusive thoughts. "I-I was joking, sorry." She spoke next, trying not to make the situation even more awkward.

Still with her eyes closed, she felt the warm touch of your hand on her arm, and one side of the bed sank a bit closer than before. "No! It's fine. You know, it's not such a bad idea..."

"What?" Tara widened her eyes, unable to believe that she had actually heard that come out of your throat. She could see you clearly now, sitting cross-legged with both your thighs almost touching.

"I mean... All our friends have kissed someone." You started to argue, gesturing with your hands as you always did. "Chad has already kissed someone, Mindy even kissed a girl! I don't want to go to high school and be teased for being a bad kisser! At least this way, we both would have some experience!"

Tara felt her own head short-circuit. She couldn't even interpret what she was feeling with your suggestion, with sweaty palms, a rapidly beating heart, and a dry throat. Maybe she was just too scared by the idea of kissing someone.

Yeah. That makes sense.

"But we're friends. Wouldn't that be weird?"

"Of course not!" You countered with the energy of someone who clearly had thought about the answer to that question before. "It's even better! If we're bad, we can just tell each other and practice until we get it right!"

The young Carpenter's head was spinning just by thinking about kissing you not only once but multiple times. She couldn't stop staring at your lips, the question about their taste now seeming more urgent and necessary, like some kind of thirst.

Without trusting her own voice, let alone her self-control, Tara just nodded and hoped you understood the signal to take the initiative and get even closer.

Your mouth still carried the scent of the damn watermelon popsicle, but the fragrance of your subtle perfume also mixed and invaded Tara's senses with the force of a wave. She kept her hands close to her body, not knowing what to do with them as your faces got so close that your breaths collided.

When your lips finally met in the sweetest and gentlest kiss possible, Tara saw an explosion of colors behind her closed eyes, like fireworks. In fact, her whole body seemed to catch fire, and her chest could barely contain her heart. That was the first time Tara felt so... alive.

She understood everything now. She loved you. Fuck, she loved you.

Fuck. She loved you.

Tara immediately felt panic churn in her stomach, but she acted as if nothing had happened, just like you did. Inside, however, all her senses were on high alert for an imminent catastrophe.

She loved you, really loved you, and Tara knew you well enough to know after that kiss that you felt the same way about her. That was the problem. Tara wasn't made to be loved; she didn't deserve it.

You see, Tara felt like a myth she studied in one of her history classes, the myth of Calypso. A nymph who had been trapped on an island by the gods, and her eternal punishment was falling in love with people who could never be with her, causing a cycle of broken hearts and unrequited love for millennia.

Every time Tara loved too much and was reciprocated, the universe took someone away from her. It had happened with her father, with Sam, and more recently with her mother. She couldn't let it happen again; she couldn't lose you.

It was then, in desperation, that she stopped talking to you for a week, trying to make the feelings of at least one of you decrease until they completely vanished. But the days passed, and nothing changed. Tara still felt intense and conflicting emotions for you, and from the messages you sent, everything pointed to you feeling the same.

Avoiding you forever wouldn't work, and Tara missed you too much to simply cut you out of her life completely to avoid future suffering. She decided, then, that the best way to resolve this mess would be to get closer to other people, trying to force what she felt for you onto someone else.

She could lose anyone else, but not you.

A few weeks later, high school finally began, and she met Amber. The timing couldn't have been more perfect.

Tara Carpenter might have many flaws, but one thing she had always been good at was reading people and their intentions. The moment she met Amber, Tara could identify that the girl was exactly what she needed: interesting, attractive, but fundamentally distant.

She knew it hurt you. The distancing, the increasingly scarce conversations, her sudden interest in someone else even after you had shared the best kiss of your lives. Tara didn't want to hurt you, not really, but it was necessary if it meant she could keep you in her life.

And Amber... Amber was perfect for the role. Tara always knew that the girl would never love her more than she loved herself, knew that she was the type to disappear for a few days without explanation, but always came back with a sly smile and lame excuses. Tara loved her because she would never love her enough to leave, she could love without fear, even if the feeling wasn't reciprocated with the same strength.

At the end of the day, what mattered was that the relationship made Tara suppress what she felt for you, so nothing bad would happen to your friendship, right?

You loved her. She loved Amber. No more Calypso's curse.

_

After replaying all these memories in her mind, Tara felt a desperate urge to laugh. Wasn't it at least a little funny that she had concocted this entire plan and included a psychopathic killer in her group of friends (which consumed her every day as she blamed herself for last year's attacks) only to end up losing you anyway in the end?

She shouldn't be laughing, but Tara didn't know if she had the capacity to control what she felt anymore.

It was expected that the halls of Blackmore University would be empty during that afternoon period. Normally, other students were attending elective classes, participating in clubs, or training in some sport to enrich their academic resumes. Tara, contrary to that, roamed the halls like a lost soul without direction, as if walking aimlessly would solve any of her problems.

But maybe this walk had indeed been a good idea, as she managed to see the exact moment when you came out of the campus counselor's office. She sighed when she saw you, looking carefree and definitely less miserable than she was. You even smiled, and even though the smile wasn't for her, just that sight made her heart beat excitedly and a sense of peace ran through her body.

At least, that was until the girl who was receiving your smile appeared in Tara's view.

She was... something. She had a confident posture that made her seem even taller than she was and a carefree expression on her face that was almost charming. The girl seemed well-off, dressed in clothes that seemed to be designer and a sports duffel bag hanging from her shoulders. She was... pretty, maybe? Tara didn't know why, but she was reluctant to give any compliments to that stranger.

Maybe because Tara didn't know her, but you spoke to her with the ease of someone who had known her for a lifetime. You were laughing together and maintaining eye contact in a way that, for some reason, bothered Tara. So, she let her impulsiveness take over and marched toward you without the slightest plan.

"Y/n? Hi!" She announced her presence, and something in her chest hurt when she noted the change from your previously happy expression to a closed one. "I haven't seen you in a while! I thought it was because you were sad and needed some time, but you're clearly better than I am!"

She didn't know why she had said those words in such a passive-aggressive tone. Tara knew she was in the wrong, but still, watching your interaction with this stranger made her blood boil. However, she felt shame for her own reaction when you looked at her with a disappointed expression.

“Seriously, Tara? Is that all you have to say?” You spoke, crossing your arms as if you needed protection. Tara couldn't help but notice how the icy tone in your voice was new and cut through her like a razor.

The blue-eyed girl next to you seemed to straighten even more, positioning herself a little closer to you as some sort of bodyguard. Ridiculous, if you asked Tara. "Is there a problem here?"

"And who are you?" The younger Carpenter asked, trying to control her own voice not to make you even more annoyed. The new girl didn't seem to care about the hostile atmosphere and flashed a confident smile, looking down at Tara in a way that she didn't know if it was intentional or not.

"I'm Kate. Kate Bishop. Maybe you've never seen me if you're the same age as y/n here." Kate made a point to touch your shoulder when mentioning you, and Tara felt like a tsunami of hatred was forming in her stomach. "I'm a junior, so we probably don't have the same classes."

"Speaking of classes..." The taller girl turned completely to you, as if Tara wasn't even present. "I have to go now, but I'll see you later, y/n?"

Tara watched begrudgingly as your face formed a small smile when addressing Kate. "Sure. See you later, Bishop."

You exchanged a hug that, again, in Tara's opinion, was a bit longer than it should have been. She watched as the so-called Kate Bishop walked away down the corridor, adjusting the sports bag on her shoulder and striding like a damn show-off model.

"If she's a junior and you're a freshman, how did you two meet?" Tara inquired, feeling protective of you. After all that had happened in the past, she thought she had a bit of a right to doubt people's intentions. That was the only reason she was so intrigued by your new companion, obviously.

You sighed tiredly, as if you already expected that kind of behavior from her. "We met in the counseling center line." You pointed to the counseling center door a few meters to your left. "I'm going to therapy sessions, you know? Not that you'll care."

Tara felt an immense guilt instantly. She could now see the dark bags under your eyes and a clear loss of the bright energy you normally carried with you. The girl wanted to cry and plead for forgiveness, but she knew that would only make you feel worse.

Maybe Tara, overall, would only make you feel worse.

"I'm sorry, okay? I know I said horrible things, and-"

"Apologies won't work now, Tara." You admitted, turning your gaze away. "It's not just about what you said; it's about how you've been acting for a long time. I shouldn't have to put up with this kind of thing."

"You're right, I know. I feel-"

"What? You feel sorry?" Tara was startled to hear your tone becoming more pained as you interrupted her. She had never heard anything like that come out of your mouth before, and she almost wished you were shouting in her face instead. "Tara, you can’t even give me an explanation for why you do this kind of thing to me? Do you find it amusing to make a fool out of me? Is it fun to hurt me and see me coming back to you like a fucking boomerang?"

"No! I just... I don't know why I do this." The shorter one confessed with a trembling voice. "I swear to you that I... You are one of the best people in my life, okay? And I know I don't do enough to deserve you, but I... I need you. I'll do anything, just... could you forgive me?"

She wasn't lying when she said she didn't know the reason for continuing to hurt you this way. She didn't know why it had been so easy to listen when Amber suggested that you might be Ghostface. God, she didn't even know why she kept bringing up Amber, even though she preferred to forget about everything Amber caused.

Perhaps Tara just felt the need to make you feel the same pain she felt inside, so that you would be intertwined even unconsciously.

"I don't know if I can, not now. I have to put myself first at least once in my life, Tara. I'm really sorry." Your eyes were still avoiding Carpenter's, avoiding her gaze like a plague. "But if what you say is true, and you don't know why you do this... Tara, you need help. Professional help. I can't be your therapist, let alone your punching bag."

The girl nodded slightly and bit her lower lip to keep from crying in front of you. With a remaining bit of willpower and a little courage, she lightly touched your hand, silently pleading for your attention. "If I do this... seek help, i mean. Will you forgive me? Please, I don't want to lose you because I'm an idiot."

You looked back at her, and Tara could almost see conflicting feelings swimming in your irises. Finally, something seemed to snap you out of a trance, and you gently squeezed Carpenter's hand, a small gesture of support. "I don't know, Tara. I hope so, but that's not up to me, you know."

When you took a step back, and your hands parted, Tara almost let out a sob from her throat, instantly missing the touch. You hesitated, as if you wanted to say something, but chose to shake your head and quickly wipe away a lone tear rolling down your cheek. "I hope you get better, Tara."

The girl watched helplessly as you walked away, clutching your own bag as if it would keep you grounded in reality. She hated herself for making you feel this way, hated herself for being a problem for everyone she loved.

Maybe there was never a curse on Tara. Maybe she was simply the curse in other people's lives.

She glanced at the door to her left and sighed resignedly. As immense as her pride was, and as much as she had avoided this moment until now, she had promised you that she would change, and she couldn't break another promise. She swallowed hard and let her legs guide her to the frosted glass door.

Tara read and reread the words on the door. Counseling Center. And with one final sigh, she entered.

[travellingarmy]

✩̣̣̣̣̣ͯ┄•͙✧⃝•͙┄✩ͯ•͙͙✧⃝•͙͙✩ͯ✩̣̣̣̣̣ͯ┄•͙✧⃝•͙┄✩ͯ•͙͙✧⃝•͙͙✩ͯ┄•͙✩̣̣̣̣̣ͯ┄•͙✧⃝•͙┄✩ͯ•͙͙

Malleus Draconia

Warning(s): NSFW. Minors do not interact.

Just a short drabble.

⊱⊰♤⊱⊰◇⊱⊰♡⊱⊰☆⊱⊰♧⊱⊰♤⊱⊰◇⊱⊰♡⊱⊰☆⊱⊰♧⊱⊰

Malleus thinks you’re cute.

He thinks your especially cute when you give him shy smiles, an angelic giggle, the flirtatious bat of the eyes directed his way.. The list continues and even he himself is not so sure if he can list them all in this lifetime despite his long lifespan.

And in these moments, a low chuckle that comes from deep within his chest will usually be the response to all the little actions. Just like now, as a chuckle reverberates in your ears crystal clear from how close his breath was to your ears. There were no distance between you two. Having said that, your bear back is pressed against his muscular chest and you writhing in his hold. “Hah.. Aren’t you adorable, child of man?” His arms were on both sides of you and planting both of your hands onto the mattress beneath.

You grit your teeth to stop anymore drool from pooling onto the sheets with your eyes rolled as far as it could to the back of your head, but there honestly was no point now that the sheets have been already stained with your cum from the couple of rounds beforehand. It was only ever your cum that stains the sheets. Not once had he cum yet. It was unbelievable, honestly, at the stamina of draconic faes and how his cock is still hard and mercilessly pounding into you all this time.. Or could this just be him? You don’t dwell on it, too focused on getting to your next release, and that wasn’t too far since at every thrust, he penetrates the back of your walls, making your legs tingle with numbness.

“No need to stifle those moans, my love.” Ah, yes, your moans. He finds the cute sounds you make pleasant music to his ears.. Sounds only he could produce from you. No one else. This would be something he should put down at the top of the list of the things he finds so cute about about you.

He turns your head towards him and he inserts his snake-like tongue inside your mouth, tasting the strawberry cake you had with him just early in the afternoon when you joined him for lunch. Without breaking eye contact, he notices the little tears that lie dormant at the corner of your eyes and the wet cheeks. Cute. His little bird is shedding silent tears at the overstimulation he's giving but still so greedily wants more. His hands moves from your hips to your waist in a repeated motion, silent words saying to be patient and that you will soon have your release. He also thinks you're cute even when you cry so no matter what you do, it will be adorable in his eyes.

Malleus Draconia thinks you're cute. But most important of all is that he thinks you’re cuter when you’re in a disheveled state and crying beneath him, begging for more of him.

“I think I like you most like this.”

✩̣̣̣̣̣ͯ┄•͙✧⃝•͙┄✩ͯ•͙͙✧⃝•͙͙✩ͯ✩̣̣̣̣̣ͯ┄•͙✧⃝•͙┄✩ͯ•͙͙✧⃝•͙͙✩ͯ┄•͙✩̣̣̣̣̣ͯ┄•͙✧⃝•͙┄✩ͯ•͙͙

[dabislittlemouse]

“𝐈’𝐥𝐥 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐜𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐞𝐥𝐬𝐞, 𝐞𝐱𝐜𝐞𝐩𝐭 𝐦𝐞…”

Part 3 | Dabi x fem!reader

CW: yandere themes, some mentions of noncon, gaslighting, manipulation, kidnapping, complicated feelings, stockholm syndrome, smut

SYNOPSIS: you are finally saved from the hands of your captor, who was now locked up, far away from you. But to this day, the memory of him still haunts you in your dreams, still so present in your life, still reminding you that you are his girl.

A/N: I apologise for the long wait everyone , now I’m finally free to write more (*^ω^*) Dabi is a fucking asshole in this one

Part 2 | REBLOGS ARE APPRECIATED

A few days had passed since you read the letters, something that you definitely regretted doing. Burning the letters did nothing because the words written in it were still burning you from the inside.

When you were rescued, you remembered actually crying, for days even, to the point your eyes were puffy and red. You remember crying the moment heroes showed up and snatched you away from where Dabi was keeping you hidden. Endless tears rolled down your cheeks, normally people would say that you felt relieved and happy that you were finally escaping that nightmare, of course you’d cry.

But was that really it?

Were you crying because you were relieved to be rescued? Or because you were leaving him? Abandoning him.

“Y’know doll, I gotta admit it feels nice knowing I have someone with me who can’t abandon me. It feels relieving, knowing that you belong to me. Never had anything that belonged to me before” he told you one night, as you were both sitting in the balcony, him smoking while you were playing with his hair.

“Where would I even go? I’m basically a prisoner, I can’t run away and abandon you even if I tried” you replied calmly, not daring to put any sort of attitude in your tone. But luck was on your side, he was in a good mood that night.

Dabi chuckled. “I hate when you use that word, really. Almost reminds me of how much of a horrible man I am”

“Are you?” You raised an eyebrow, asking the obvious.

Dabi shook his head, turning towards you and leaning closer, almost touching your lips, blowing some smoke in you.

“What really matters is that you really love this horrible man in front of ya. And even if one day I let you go, you won’t be able to leave me and abandon me.”

Your eyes widened at his statement. Was he crazy? If he actually let you go one day, you would run as fast as you could, disappear off the face of earth. His confidence on this matter frustrated you, as if he had created this illusion of you in his head that you really loved him and would always be there for him, while in reality you hated him. He was sick in the head.

“We can’t be apart from each other, princess. You might think at first that you are fine, happy, but slowly you’ll feel that you’re missing something” he grabbed your head with both his hands, his eyes never leaving yours, staring right through your soul. “Every thought in this pretty head of yours belongs to me, I will always be engraved in those thoughts, forever. If you think you’ve ever escaped me, you haven’t. If you think you can stay away from me, you can’t. Wherever I’ll be, you’ll come to me yourself. Because you love me too much” he smirked, his words sinking deep into your mind.

So when you were rescued, you cried a lot, and while telling yourself you were crying because the horrible things you experienced, deep down you knew it wasn’t it. You were crying because you were leaving him. And you loathed yourself for it, and the guilt gnawing inside of you.

“I should go outside” you told yourself, remembering that you didn’t leave the house for days, dwelling in your thoughts and worries alone in your room. The weather was pretty, and some sun would do you good. Dressing up and grabbing some snacks, you went outside, hoping that for a bit the demons in your head would leave you alone.

But you didn’t realise that one of them, was right behind you, while you were walking on the empty park. He was wearing a pair of glasses and a hood, slowly approaching you. It didn’t took you too long to notice his presence, already used to living on edge and being aware of your surroundings all the time. You turned around, feeling tense while you kept your distance, panic visible in your face.

“Don’t be scared, I’m not going to hurt you” the man said, raising up his hands. “I’m just here to deliver a message from our lieutenant���

You squinted at him in disbelief, before it hit you.

The lieutenant…

..the lieutenant of the PLF

Dabi.

“W-What message?!” you stuttered, your heart pounding in your chest. He sent one of his men your way to personally deliver you a message, even though you had ignored his letters in the past few months, he still kept going, finding a way to affect your life and always be there. For some time you had tried to gaslight yourself into thinking Dabi wasn’t actually real, he was a nightmare that died long ago in the past. Nobody ever mentioned him to you, and you didn’t either. You were almost believing it.

But having this man right in front of you, mentioning him, letting you know that Dabi does exist, and he is in the present, still thinking of you, made you feel again the warmth of those hands touching your body all over. You felt them wrapping around your throat, invisible scarred hands decorated with metallic staples, slowly strangling you and cutting your airway, he was here.

“Every Sunday, he is allowed to get visits at 5 o’clock” the man continued, snapping you out of your dark thoughts. “Being a high ranked villain makes it difficult to reach him in prison, and most of the things are restricted whilst the accessibility is limited. They won’t easily give you the information you need”

No way.

“And why are you telling me this?!” you said, voice almost shaking but you tried to stay composed. “Does.. does he really think I’ll go visit him? Tell that monster he is dead to me!”

“Don’t play coy” the man quietly replies. “He is well aware that you tried to find information about the visiting hours in Tartarus a week ago. We both know what that means”

Your face turned hot, and your hands started sweating, like someone who got caught doing something they shouldn’t.

How does he know your every move? How does he always find the perfect timing to reach you, playing with your emotions, even if he is locked away from you?

“I am part of you princess, you can’t escape me” his low voice echoed in your brain. You shook your head, taking in a deep breath. What was supposed to be a nice relaxing day outside turned out quite the opposite.

You’d like to believe that you’re strong, that you’re over him. Maybe deep down it wasn’t that way, but you could totally show the opposite outside, you could fake it all and pretend that he never affects you. Face him and show it right in front of him, that you are ready for a new life, without him, you’re willing to heal and move on, despite the difficulties. Maybe only then, he will leave you alone. Face your fears, or so they say.

You gave the man a cold stare, before forcing a smile on your face.

“I may have been digging for information yes, not that is any of your business, but thanks for making my job easier”

I’ll make sure to tell him right in his face how happy I am without him and how I burned all his pathetic letters.

Sunday came by fast, but you had enough time to prepare emotionally for everything. As much as you hated doing this, you also had the need to see him, that was gnawing inside of you. Maybe if you saw him in his pathetic state, locked up in prison, you’d see how powerless Dabi actually is compared to you, how you’re worrying over nothing, and it would help you heal faster. You also wanted to grow a backbone, to fight for yourself and set your boundaries, already tired of living in fear and being controlled by the nightmares of your past which would creep their way into the present. You were in control, and that gave you a certain confidence.

You made sure to look as decent as possible, not giving out any sign of weakness, wearing formal clothes which added more to your confidence. You were building up a facade, something that Dabi had never seen before when you were his captive, you wanted to show him that you had changed, you weren’t that poor weak girl anymore and he had no control whatsoever. Whether it was the truth or a lie, does it really matter? Better to fake it than cry yourself to sleep every night tormented by him, you thought.

“Where to, miss?” the taxi driver asked. You told him your destination, to which he reacted with a surprised look on his face. On the way, he tried to pry here and there, curiosity taking the best of him, though you didn’t give him much information.

You found yourself in front of the facility, two guards coming towards you. You took in a deep breath, stepping forward to enter inside, being brought inside a small office. An officer was sitting near his desk, viewing some papers, before turning to you.

“Visits will end in one hour” he firmly said.

“I am aware” you replied. A few seconds passed by in silence, before you spoke again.

“…I wanted to visit Dabi”

The mere mention of his name in your own tongue felt so foreign and yet so familiar it made you feel nauseous.

The officer looked at you in what you could say shock, because high ranked villains were mostly visited by pro heroes and higher ranks of society. And you looked nothing of the sort. Though he didn’t stick his nose further into your business, he’d already gotten the necessary information about you and simply guided you into a room, with nothing but a chair in it. A glass separated you from the other side of the room, where prisoners were brought.

So you waited.

And waited.

Your overwhelming emotions and erratic heartbeats deafened your senses, seconds felt like hours as the guards went to get Dabi. You suddenly wanted to bolt away from the room, the nausea getting worse.

You should head back while you have time. Just get out, you shouldn’t have come here-

“Won’t even look at me, princess~?”

The timber of that voice brought you back to the harsh reality you were facing, your vision cleared and now you could hear everything. Your nails dug in your thighs, it took everything in you to not start trembling.

This was a bad idea.

You swallowed it down, as hard as it was to lift up your head, you still did it. Meeting face to face with that haunting face. His striking blue eyes remained the same, quite the opposite to your expectations they still held life, power, fire. He looked like anything but a pathetic locked up villain with a life sentence. His dark fluffy hair, with the white roots showing, his patched skin and piercings remained the same. Dabi stood there in front of you, like a man who wasn’t in prison, with his usual smug expression as he glared at you. He didn’t smile, didn’t do anything but stare at you for a good while, studying you, studying the way you have changed.

You thought to take advantage of the silence.

“…I am not here because I wanted to see you or missed you” you began, clearing your throat, keeping your voice stable. You had practiced what to say many times. “I am here to make it clear to you that things between us have ended, you gotta stop bothering me. All the letters you’ve sent me.. I burned them all and threw them away. It’s.. really pathetic to see you haven’t given up after all this time, can’t it get more clear that I never wanted you? So I am respectfully asking, to stop bothering me and-”

“You’re so fucking sexy”

His statement interrupted your speech, the words got caught in your throat, catching you completely off guard. You felt your face burn, and you couldn’t continue without stuttering. And there it was, his signature smirk appearing on Dabi’s face, soon turning into a wider smile as he enjoyed your little reactions.

“You haven’t changed at all, princess. Look at ya, still gettin’ all shy and flustered so easily, god I just missed this so bad~”

“Did you- did you even hear what I was saying?!” you raised your voice, embarrassment now turning into anger.

Stay calm, you need to stay calm and composed. Don’t give him the reaction he so badly wants.

You took in a deep breath, barely holding eye contact with those blue orbs that still had the same effect on you as before, making you feel small. You felt so small, but you had to act big. He shouldn’t know your weakness.

“Oh, I heard it all” Dabi said, licking his lips. “Though I couldn’t help but get distracted by that pretty face of yours, sweetheart. You’re tryin’ to be all serious and assertive here, makes ya look so hot I gotta admit.”

The look on his eyes was feral. If it wasn’t for this glass separating you two and his restraints, he surely would have pounced on you. Desire was dulling his senses, he felt his body burning hot as he took in your sight. You looked like a new person, the way you stood bravely in front of him, the way you spoke firmly, but those pretty eyes of yours gave it all away. He could see what was hiding inside, the desperation, the fear, the submission he so much loved.

“How have you been, my love? Living your happily ever after with some new guy perhaps?” he chuckled. “Since you never answered my letters, I feel like I deserve an answer now at least don’t I?” Dabi said, approaching closer to the glass. “And don’t give me that crap of you throwing it all away and forgetting about me, it ain’t gonna work doll”

“It is true though!” you snapped back. “I never bothered to read them, I told you I have moved o-”

“And you know damn well I hate liars” he interrupted you, giving you an intense stare that instantly made you break eye contact. “I am sure I’ve told you that, haven’t I love? You’re a terrible liar, and while it’s fun to watch you try to make up things, it really, really pisses me off. And-”

“And you’re not a patient man..” you mumbled to yourself, having memorised his words since back then.

“That’s a good girl” he grinned. “See, you still remember it all don’t cha?”

You shook your head. “I-I mean it though, I want you out of my life. Stop reaching out for me! I want to move on and-”

“You should get some things straight, princess-” Dabi interrupted again.

Fucking asshole.

“Stop interrupting me!” you raised your voice again, and you were instantly met with a chilling cold gaze.

“Y/N”

The mentioning of your name made your breath hitch. Back then, whenever he mentioned your name, not any of the nicknames he gave you, but your full name, that’s when he’d get angry. That’s when he’d punish you, burn you, almost kill you. That’s when you wished to just die, for the suffering to end. And hearing him say your name again, made you go silent whilst your eyes burned with tears that threatened to fall.

“Don’t be a brat now, sweetheart” Dabi let out a sigh before continuing to where he left off. “Moving on and creating a new happy pathetic life is your decision, no matter what external factors get in the way. But your pretty head can’t wrap around this that easily, y’keep blaming me for your constant failures to move on”

You stared at him in confusion. “Huh?! What do you mean?”

“All I’m sayin’ is, if you wanted to move on you totally could, no matter what I do. But you can’t move on, because you love me. You came all the way to see me. Can’t you understand this, little flame?” he chuckled.

“I don’t love you!” you screamed at his face, standing up from your chair. Your glossy eyes met his, your little facade slowly breaking as he finally saw you for what you were.

“There she is” he leaned back, watching you in amusement. “Missed my girl so damn much, you have no fucking idea, I wonder if those tears taste the same again~”

“…shut up”

“What, did you come here to tell me all the crap about moving on? Why would I even care about that bullshit, love? By lying to me you’re only lying to yourself” he clicked his tongue. “Life is easier when you’re true to your feelings, princess.”

“You’re fucking delusional, you’re sick in the head! Just so you know, I am so happy you will rot in here forever” you said through gritted teeth.

“Is that a way to speak to your man?” Dabi’s eyes widened, as if in shock. “You wound me, baby. What did I even do to you other than show you my unconditional love?”

You were about to insult him again when his gaze shifted down to his pants.

“Tch, look at that. Look what you do to me, baby. Did you come here to edge me, you little brat?” he cackled, your face burned in shame and anger at the way he mocked you, you couldn’t stand this any longer.

“You perverted fucking asshole!” you screamed, banging so hard at the glass that separated you both it almost cracked. “You’re disgusting! I hate you!!”

Instantly the guards rushed into the room, some grabbing Dabi and the rest grabbing you, asking for you to calm down. Whilst you screamed and cussed at him, Dabi laughed, his laugh got louder and echoed in the room while being dragged away.

You couldn’t even do a simple thing, he drove you crazy without even touching you or using any force on you. Just by his words, the villain easily taunted you and broke you. He could see through your lies.

Meanwhile, Dabi got thrown in his prison cell, door locking immediately. He was excited, full of energy. Chuckling to himself, he looked down at the formed bulge on his pants.

“Shit” he whispered. Unzipping his pants, he lowered his boxers and took in his hardened cock, veins almost popping out as the red angry tip begged to be stroked. He lazily pumped his cock, up and down with slow movements, breathing heavily while the image of you earlier invaded his brain. Your glossy eyes, your reddened angry face, puffy cheeks and pouty lips, your trembling voice, it drove him to the edge. He wanted you so bad, missed you so much, if only he could break through that glass and take you right there, forcefully bend you over and shove it in before the guards came in. “Nghh fuck..miss that.. fuckin’ pretty pussy..” he breathlessly said, pretending it was your cunt he was fucking instead of his fist. His eyes rolled at the back of his skull as he came hard, ropes of white cum wetting his fist as it dripped down on the ground.

Next time he came this hard, it would be right on your face.

Soon.

🏷️ tags: @hunajan @baby-tini @ameliaenya404 @syrenkitsune @irinangels @dabisangle @murderous-snail @ilovemushroomss @sarcastic-cookie @touyalove

[watashijeon]

Mon Ange. | KTH

listen while reading — Is there someone else The Weeknd

— I made you mine, or so it seemed. I might as well be two feet tall. You never will love me at all. —

You’re calling out for his name, nothing can kill this moment. He feels sweetness and ease.. never has he let himself slip. But tonight is his birthday or so it was hours before.

Nonetheless, nothing could kill the stillness.

"Hm?" he’s mumbling with his speech, nose buried into pretty flushed skin. He feels confused, feeling you still when your words came out so blurred in his mind.

“I have to tell you something.”

Completely lost now where this was going, he stills his touch. Awkward and stiff, you make eye contact for what you are about to say.

He doesn’t understand the build up, he just wish you would say what it was. Maybe you had to take some time away from him due to your work.. he understood, he didn’t mind that.

"I think we should end our arrangement."

Oh. It’s so different from what he had just suspected, why does his heart feel like it just plummeted to another oblivion of nothing?

Taehyung doesn’t care, he’s undisciplined and chaotic with his very few next actions.

You need to leave. Freezing up, ready for his immediate impulse, because you know him like the back of your hand. The man picks you right off from his lap, rather rough and he would have time to regret on the meanness of it later.

He’s quick to pointing his hand open palm stiff and stern to the now sad wrinkled dress on the floor that laid lonely.

“Well, go on then.”

Your eyes looked at him pained, you had not a clue what his reaction really meant but you moved. Wiggling on your dress, back faced to him before looking once more to see his distracted stare. He is so out of it now, he doesn’t know.

“You understand.. right, Tae?” oh why must you speak so sweet to him using his shorten nickname in that especially nauseating sweet voice, even the way you are ending this is a million times nicer than he has ever ended a fling with a person.

“I do, bye.”

He’s being so mean, harsh and rude.

Taehyung hopes you won’t dwell on it or let it hurt your heart like it will to his very own.

But somehow he wants it to pain you, make you feel the same burn and ripping he feels in his chest right now. What did he do wrong?

“Goodbye Taehyung.” and that was it, the door clicked and so did his very front one. Left with the forbidden but likely delicious and perfect red velvet cake you’ve made, and a gift that sat perfectly next to it wrapped in his favorite color for wrapping paper on his kitchen island.

And indeed you had to make his favorite cake flavor, meaning you remembered the stupid detail when he told you on a night together.

≿━━━━༺❀༻━━━━≾

He remembers so clearly on the morning you stayed after for the first time coming over for six months. The two of you had lazed in his bed between tangled limbs and sheets “I will, I will protect you.” your lips dropped into a pout tracing your nimble finger over the man’s jaw.

How could you even say that when you leave him not much later, he doesn’t get it. This isn’t like you at all. Maybe being in pained denial he couldn’t accept the sore fact that someone made the first move on with abandonment.

You weren’t supposed to lie, it’s uncalled for and unacceptable. But even deep down the man knew he was being ignorant, he’s lied to many people to avoid hurt and it was his own field of career to lie if necessary.. that’s all you were trying to do.

The man can’t dare to muster up to think you have a bad bone in your little body that was filled of nothing less of kindness. But right now he won’t be rational with his assumptions.

He’s angry and selfish with dire need for your presence now all over again, no matter the situation that this is. But whatever really, big deal that you are gone. He will find someone else to fuck his life into, you are no different from any other living human with a hole.

…

He pauses.

Never mind that, fuck that. He deserves a good and perfect reason for why you did this.. leaving him in the dark, quite literally. Taehyung can't stand not talking to you even if he never took time to speak so much into your conversations. He still appreciated all of your efforts and presence you put into whatever what you had was, now it’s all fucking gone.

He used to act upon impulse when he would have multiple play things through out the month. But you, you make him stop to think. It makes him wrinkle his nose because he does not have a clue why you turn him to be this way. It’s simply you being you, no spell.. no great manipulation in your words. Just you.

In the beginning of this arrangement he was reluctant given the age gap, especially with the relation that you were a long time family client of his.

Once he became enthralled with someone.. he could say it took a lot to kill it.

You weren’t the only one that had the privilege, he’s turned thirty two this year and definitely doesn’t have enough fingers to count on with how many girls he has used up and nicely dumped off to the side — kindly.

Sparing the honest reason that he needs to focus on his career before weeks later he would latch claws into his new toy, it’s only painstakingly different now.

Much different because he had never held onto a “toy” for over a few months at a time, the man liked variety and trying new things. With you in the picture, it was sickening at the fact that he grew real attachment to every little thing about you. It made him want you more. While he is nothing great of the sort for you, he was only a warm body to give you what was desired. You gave him your body and time, in return he would give you lust driven pleasure.

He was the one who established what you two were from the great beginning, he was not allowed to feel betrayed and cheated. Someone could hate him and he would cackle at that, a girl could scream at the stoic man and he’d chuckle again. Once you lose his interest there is no winning him back, it's as if getting stuck in a never ending pit of quick sand that could swallow you in pitiful eyes. He thinks it’s valid to feel this way, he’s coming to terms with the whole ordeal of what all this was.

Being your damn family lawyer and you had met him when you were the young age of nineteen, a mere baby. It definitely took some time for him to be ok with the fact that he would end up fucking you almost weekly with your given age — he’s not a pervert.. right? But you were a mature girl as you grew up, he liked you for this reason.. different and good for whatever he wanted and still you set healthy boundaries not letting him walk over your toes.

Time will pass nicely, right? He will be fine and move on — find someone even better. A little reflecting won’t hurt his soul.

It has been a little over two months since the grouch for a man has seen you, turning slowly into the twentieth century version for Scrooge.

Promising himself each day he would not give in and call you, you will be the one to run back.

He’s been saying that to himself since the day you up and left.. now his very once high and wild ego was now dwindling day by day and he is pissed beyond belief, because wow, wowww. You really did leave him as if he planned to do the exact for you in the beginning of meeting with you, that was before he caught a liking and it was only for your body, of course.

Yes.. that’s what is was. It was only really your gorgeous body that gave him pleasure to see you again and again, never mind the fact of your amazing personality or one of a kind glowing aura that brought a sweet genuine smile on his usual crest fallen features.

Broken from his reverie he’s receiving a call, he’s been sat still buried in his office since six am. It’s how he gets through his days to not think about you or testing the waters of calling.

The phone clicks and clatters, he needs to get himself a new desk phone or better yet just buy another smartphone. Huffing and puffing, he inhales and exhales seeing the caller id.

“Hello, it’s been awhile sir.”

It’s your father, he has to fake a front for the sake of niceties and also being civil because your very own damn dad has been using the Kim’s for any law or business relations since Taehyung was probably born, he’ll complain and grumble later on to a nice white wall of his.

“Oh yes! Things have been crazed.”

Taehyung really wonders about that, a hotel tycoon can only get so wild and crazed.. right?

“Hmm, I understand. What can I help you with.”

“Ah, Mr Kim. let’s get down to it—“ the grinch for a man licks and licks his lips again out of great big habit, becoming nervous of the lingering for just how long it takes this man to get to a point. Many clicks and clattering over the other line.. the older would continue.

“So, I need to talk through some paperwork with you regarding about merging contracts.”

“Go on, sir.” he can’t be this vague.. come on. Shouldn’t he know better than to speak so small about important shit, god help his ticking time bomb for patience being not a virtue.

Ping

If silence could kill it would be deathly here and now, he receives the paper work faxed over. A skim and scan later — Taehyung feels his heart plummet to places beyond his comprehension.

It’s just so now, he realizes your father has been blabbering about whatever this whole time.

“What is this all for?”

His eyes ogle and ogle for more than a few times he could count, reading the bold letters of “Marital License and Contract Briefing.”

“Well if it wasn’t obvious, our dear y/n is going to get married next month. We have set her up with the perfect man who is a well respected hotelier heir, a perfect match for our family.”

Of course.. of course your father would set you up with a person that is in the same position of business as him, you probably had no word or real say in this. God, why does he feel wrath and anger. He wants to rip his hair out straight.

He should be happy for you, your new husband to be probably feels like home in his arms.

So much that he bets he mends you with warm healing long hugs, and utterly disgusting kind smiles that remind you of honey mixed into sweet vanilla, your very two favorite things.

He continued to offer your father a tight-lipped smile as if he could see him through the phone, briefly looking up from the contracts on his computer screen — faxed papers sitting nice and crisped on his desk. He thinks it’s best he ends this call now before he yells off.

“Ok sir, I’ll look over them and we will discuss the terms and things that will be strewn.”

“Oh that is great to hear! I invite you over tomorrow for tea, we will discuss all of the paperwork then. Yes?”

He won’t allow himself to think about that, he will agree just to get off this damn phone call.

“Yes sir, I’ll see you then, good night.”

Click.

He’s here, he can’t believe he actually came.

Sat in the way too high ceilings for a living area, he will blame it on why he feels this nauseated. God, he knows you live here obviously. It’s been your parents odd and traditional rule until you were ready to move out when they thought it was best, you always said that was why you still stayed with them. What he didn’t know was the bizarre underlying conditions were marriage.

“Ah Kim, here we are.” The meeting begins and ends with the blink of an eye.

It went awful in Taehyung’s eyes, he really didn’t want to hear about you getting married off for a great three hours. It left the man wanting to seethe and bite his mouth off until the older would finally shut up to take a puff or sip of liquor.

Then on he tried to laugh with your father.. even when it felt as if pearly teeth might crack with only how hard his jaw flexed shut.

Your father welcomes the man to stay over for only awhile longer, he won’t accept it, kindly.

He has to get going.. because someone (Taehyung) couldn’t handle on what all just happened. While the hag of your father thought it was a good idea to step out and take a call.

15 minutes before

It’s been minutes now and your father isn’t back, Taehyung decides to dwell around with his eyes to gawk at the various family portraits hung from generations before and other astray framed photographs of little you and family.

He has the urge to trace his finger along the frames but he won’t, definitely not now.

“Tae..?”

Like clockwork, Taehyung’s head cocks in nanoseconds to the spiraled staircase you stood by, gripping on the bar to keep stance.

You look gorgeous right now, still the same as before. He can’t help but let his eyes trail over your legs, he’s no better than any other man. He decides he can’t stare for much longer though, clearing his throat to cock his head off to the side in mimicking a fake neck crack.

“Hello.” he decides on, licking lips for the trillionth time and resting hands into pockets.

Your stare doesn’t stutter elsewhere, you copy him yourself — licking lips except only slower and more tantalizing. Or that’s how he sees it. He hated confrontation, one of his favorite things about you though.. is you’d ask too many questions every time you were around. He’d act like he hated it, but bathed in the attention and attentive wide eyes you once had all for him.

It’s only none of the many questions you’d ask would ever provoke the man to deflect, bother him up the wall and make him drop you soon later in his own sheer annoyance like usual. It’s happened to others, he’s an asshole but he could care less because at least he is honest.

Seeing you now gives him bitter sweetness for deja vu, the memory to when he saw you for the first time when you were eighteen — never having an ounce of interest in you then. You were a pesky teenager though, ogling the man like sweet candy for your taking. Nothing unusual he hadn’t encountered before.. only ever moving forward to do his job and ignore it.

That helped some.

Both of you finally interacted properly then when you were twenty, clear that you had matured fast and you were well with holding good conversation. While.. your dear father ran around with his head cut off like a chicken and leaving a bored lawyer Kim to wait for set business meetings to be done, you were lovely company at least.

Then somehow.. something happened, the day where he took your virginity in your childhood bathroom — it was your 21st birthday after all.

It was almost too universal how the world wanted you two to be alone at this awful time. But the moment happened so fast maybe too fast if he wants to dwell on it now, only once comforting the weeping girl that trembled in his arms to have you seconds under his grasp.

You had to, just had to look down at him with those puppy dog eyes choking a mere sob of “Am I not important.. is that what it is Tae?”

God he hated how you said his name, so sweet and quiet. Full of vulnerability and sadness.

He couldn’t allow a pretty girl like you, sobbing over something so minuscule on her birthday, he had a great plan of course. Comfort? No.

Fuck the sadness out of you, it will do you well.

It’s shameful at how he’s too old for your young sweet heart that still had much to see and live.. he’s nothing but rotten fruit at best.

But why did he want to stay selfishly so.

Your eyes did it in for him, they always did..

Corny and sappy he thinks.

He tries to move on with the passing thoughts of why do you need to be claimed now when he was starting to think he could have tried. He hopes you had at least one passing thought yourself of the what ifs and hows.

Present

All but nothing of silence settles between the two of you, no words are exchanged past that.

Eventually steps dissipate further from him to hear, you leave after the stare off you both shared — thankfully your father interrupts.

It’s been a few hours since you last saw him, you knew way before he was going to dial your phone. Doing exactly this, after your third attempt to ignore the countless calls you press accept to hear the expectant drawl of your name in stupor.

You’re sure he’s grinning dumb and widely boxy, almost as if youth takes over for these very small tipsy minutes. His vulnerability is clearly yours now, it’s so viable at how bad he is vying for attention.

You prepare yourself, clearing your throat and speaking as clear and stern as one could be.

“Hello?”

“Hmmmhmm, hello.”

There’s a pause, awkward, but he’s drunk so he likely doesn’t recognize the rising tension.

“Yes, Taehyung?”

There’s a giggle..? Oh my god he just giddily giggled at your voice. No, no your heart isn’t doing backflips — you’re just concerned.

“At your door, open sesame.” you can hear him try to knock like a madman — even if there’s visibly a buzzer that’s meant to be there so insiders could hear from the size of your parent’s insanely huge home.

Drunk Taehyung doesn’t know that though.

Fuck well, ok you guess. Thank god your father isn’t home for the night — you begin to panic but you can dissolve situations fine, it’s your strong suit or one of the many of them at least.

You practically lunge from your bed to tumble over down the stairs, trying to keep him half entertained while you tunnel yourself to the door before the maids could see the odd sight.

Being quiet as you can be with unlocking the door, Taehyung makes it no issues to pull a dramatic scene. Already seconds in through the door staring you down, like any other would be scared of the predatory stare.

But this is Taehyung, he would never hurt you.

All you can do, Slowly watching him advance at you skittering back until you’re pressed to the wall. He doesn’t touch you, leaned against the victorian wall with each hand on either side trapping you between him.

He won’t stop there yet, drawling your name out in a drunken purr “Aw-huh. Angel, you got yourself stuck..what are we going to do now?" like no moral was ever created — toes curled into wooden floors from the deep baritone voice awakening all of your weaken senses.

You try, trying so damn hard and ignore it.

Staring hard into empty eyes, his bags are awfully visible and you wonder if he’s even slept lately.

You’re so tiny and frazzled by his abrupt actions, feeling him slide a warm hand up to your stomach to trail barely under your tits. The same said empty eyes sharpen at your slip of a pathetic whine, closing you into the wall a tad too close for comfort to make you both bump into each other’s chest.

“Wanna fuck this pretty cunt again.”

His words boom into you everywhere, from head to toe and places you wouldn’t like to acknowledge that throbbed with need. Doomed, definitely, that’s what you are.

You can only exhale feeling a warm shiver travel down your spine from the daring slip of drunken tongue. Able to pull enough strength to squeak a soft response “L-let’s lay down.”

It was your best bet to avoid from ruining your impending future, you won’t allow no more mishaps to happen. It’s all for your father.

He settled off with a hum, you were surprised he’d backed off. Maybe the man recognizing the nervousness in your tone, “Lead the way.”

It’s quiet now, too tense for your liking but you can’t do anything you think to help the off situation. Laid in your bed next to each other with a foot of space between your bodies.

It’s uncanny how alike this situation reminds you of some movie you watched with the man.

You feel like you’re steps away from saying the infamous line of “Lying Is the Most Fun a Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off.”

You won’t have a second to think longer when the big bear decides to speak up into the unknown of silence that had lasted for a long hour, “I get it.. yeah, you don't love me, big fucking deal.”

Silence, absolutely nothing back.

“I’ll never tell you how I really feel, angel.”

Your breath was being held for seconds until he decides to follow with cockiness, there it is.

Always showing a slip of vulnerability followed with the man being plain rude. It’s the way your eyes roll that cause a gasp to stutter from him, almost like he didn’t expect your attitude nor harsh yet honest reaction.

He won’t comment on it properly, never does.

“Hold me.” he mumbles while simultaneously grumbling, trying his definition in hard to get you closer than whatever.. this is. Your brow ticks at him head shifting to properly face his pouted features from his side profile, feeling up for the need to deny him only a bit.

“What? Stop mumbling.”

He won’t take a pause this time, thankfully.

“Hold me goddammit.” he huffs and puffs out even louder — yet incoherently all in the same breath. Taehyung coughs, trying to clear his throat and mocks you with a roll in his own eyes of annoyance, like you did something.

That time you did “hear” him and you did what was asked by the big grizzly bear, only you turned to him closer now — seeing that wry smile on his cruel but godforsaken pretty face.

The spiral begins, you and him are going to give into this hell of fire.. only letting it grow uncontrollable by the end of night.

Are you going to do well without me?

Are we ever going to be okay?

Will we ever be fine?

You were too good to be forgotten in his heart.

It was too quiet in this room, silent and tense.

Taehyung felt nothing but regret, fucking stupid as he closed his eyes and mumbled these pitiful words.

Stupid, as he continued to speak gibberish into the room. I feel stupid. I am stupid.

You finally give up on the swallowing of the never ending silence and endless mumbling under his breath, tongue dry trying to clear your throat so to maybe finally speak — maybe even summon him back, and he does. It works because he lets his eyes finally open back.

You tug him into your chest wasting no more time when there’s not much, arms wrapped tight around his stiff figure that takes only just a minute to loosen once he realized you weren’t going to push him back anymore.

It’s not much different though, his nails still pierced into his forearm with thin lips folded into teeth to feel anything but what this is right now. You were staring at him, Taehyung, your father’s lawyer, your first crush and realization that you really only like and desire older men.

Now wishing you’d rather have gone to therapy instead of pursue that day in the bathroom.

You don’t mean that actually, you just hate yourself at this very moment and so does he.

But this wasn't the Taehyung you knew, wasn't the same man with styled hair and sultry eyes.. looking now as real life death in your arms.

You weren’t trying to be harsh nor hateful, you were worrying your heart out and confirming all the racing thoughts you have figured to be maybe going on. Only for them to come to life. He looks unreal tonight, almost unnatural from his usual sun kissed skin. No more sharpness to his look, the man looks fucking sick.

You want to coddle him to death, your own heart feels like it’s going to lurch right out from it’s chest by any second now if he keeps looking at you with those sad puppy dog eyes. This was not the look you yearned to see, you hated it all so much.

“Well.” clearing his throat, trying to prove something into air. Maybe it’s a lawyer instinct.

You repeat back to him without a beat to really think, “Well..” you use the same tone of voice but maybe yours wavered more in raw pain. The man wordlessly continued to stare like always, holding your hand tight in his grip in bringing it up to his lips. You should reject his warm touch, leave even, run far.

But why are you still laying here.. melting away.

He was being this gentle and just careful, you would giggle if the situation weren’t tense now.

Long fingers playing with lips, digits ghosting over your cheek with a soft caress. You can’t help but shut your own tired eyes, melting more and more and it was just like that.

His control is gone, so fast and fluidly when your lashes fluttered to cold skin. Whispering his name too sweet and soft almost in prayer.

"We can’t.. it would be wrong.” it’s insane how you knew his intentions from the speed his hands traveled to the material of your night dress.

"So fucking wrong," he becomes almost too ready with heavy pants of hot breath kissing your jaw and neck.

Eager calloused thumbs rubbing circles into your hips that were on the brink of trembling.

You whine at the tone he uses, becoming easy to his invasion "Don't.. don't speak like that." Eyes heavy lidded, lips licking with each breath that exhaled from your stuttering chest.

He wants you dead it seems, feeling up your body more and more by every passing second before easy fingers would get to your chest.

"I'm wrong like that.. you like it," the man preaches with determined digits this time skimming back down onto your hips to hear his favorite strangled whines "you want it.”

"Ah.. T-tae” it’s pathetic.. sounding asthmatic in your own ears from mere fingers grazing you rough.

"Who's married? Certainly not you, yet."

You pause to mull it over, eyes falling into his.

He truly doesn’t care now, past gone. Nothing can stop this — you need him.. your sweet eyes tell almost all too fucking well for him to know.

He's moving on autopilot when he pulls you to him with no awareness of anything around him, the man frenzied with his only living goal to feel you wrapped around him. Whether it be with loose limbs or his all well endowed cock buried deep between warm tightness, he needed to feel you again.

Your gasps fall out too soft to be surprised at the sudden roughness, murmuring whining moans that fell into a mantra of "We can't..” tiny cries that quickly later start falling into hungry kisses while neither of you had an ounce of intention to stop, no matter the end of it.

Lips already collided against each other in a perfect mess of motion, tongues lolled out of your mouthes as the pleasure binds you both.

It’s disgusting now, strings of drool dribbling to your chest from every pause he took to pull and nip. The man grabs your scalp, yanking you head back against his shoulder. Jaw slack open to give him the prettiest mouth for him to gladly spit right down onto your tongue, so pathetic all for his demise.

Doing all the nothing but moaning and swallowing, open mouth with all your might.

Leaving a desperate plea in sparkly eyes while you wait impatient for his next move, you missed him. Eyes yearning and lips quivering, legs shaking so early on and yet.. your spine just might go limp quite soon.

You whine almost instantaneously and nothing less of desperate while the devious man began to nibble harshly down on your neck with small bites of love.

Moving on nothing but anger and bubbled feelings at surface, shoes being removed, with the stubborn zipper of your night dress slipping down from your shoulders as hungry lips explored every inch of skin that became exposed.

So quick, licking a wet stripe down your chest to stomach to feeling you shake with desire and need, tasting the want for you on his tongue.

“Hmm, your poor husband to be.”

He hated that, hated the fact that you were about to belong to someone. He knew he wanted and needed you to feel the burn that he had been feeling for months since then.

"I'm not t-telling," you can barely form a sentence let alone a proper sound that didn’t make you sound out to be like a deprived slut.

The man can’t do much other than scoff, you having the strength to use that reassuring tone— with such a soft tone and bat pretty doll eyes in lost of such easy pleasure given.

Looking this fucking gorgeous and it’s going to be all for someone else, not him ever “I know angel, not with the way i’m about to fuck you.”

Like clockwork you moan like a bitch at that, of course. Feeling him sink razor sharp canines down into the squishy flesh of your stomach.

Uncaring completely for the fresh marks, he would hope in your future meeting with that man.. you wouldn’t become so easy to show yourself off for him. Sliding his fingers from your stomach down over to your cunt, slipping long digits between sopping wetness — sticky as if you already had touched yourself earlier.

He’s growing impatient, on the aspect of stretching you out when he so gladly craves to stuff you four fingers full. But he’s a gentleman at his very best, always calling out for him in non-stop “T-tae..” or better yet “Touch me, I’m sorry, I’ll be good.” without any doubt he would answer “Anything for the angel.”

Your thighs already shake from the burn of /slowly/ fucking yourself on long fingers. Tears streaming, overwhelmed by the burning stretch that comes with each motion, soon quiet sniffles and soft gasps turn into sobbing when the man decides to snake his hand and start to tease and slowly circle your clit.

“So perfect, all for me, hm.”

You nod eager to please, blushing all the way down to your toes. Biting your lip, thoughts not holding very well against the feeling of the eager man’s middle finger now slipping out from you to part your cunt and stroke along the sore slit.

“Patient tonight? You must want it bad.” he sighs almost sounding bored, standing tall over you to undo the belt that once looped through his slacks. Long gone leather abandoned to the floor along with his slacks pooled at his ankles, ready, finally.

“You gotta be nice and quiet for me. Yeah? Can you do that for me?”

You’re way past desperate tonight, choking out a broken “Y-yes, fuck! Please.” wild hips winding up for more of the now lost touch.

The older plays coy, smirking lopsided and lazy, kneeling on the bed to line himself up to the pretty plump cunt. Long digits wrapped around his cock, "Open up for me baby."

She obeys immediately, legs opening wider to shakily wrap themselves around Taehyung’s waist. His hips up to slip his cock into the crease of your folds. Grinding there half tipsy now, leaky tip nudging at your clit.

Not wasting another second, the first push of stretch has you whining his name. Long nails piercing into taut honey skin, cock fucking in ruthless at the long thrusts that heat your core up, forming sweat down his neck and shoulders.

“Goood fucking girl.” He drawls with a husky moan, you want to die at how fucking hot he sounds.

He doesn’t care, going faster to no point of being coherent in your mind. Punishing strokes fucking the life out of you, snapping his cock right into your tight cunt. One hand bruised into your hip while the other slipped easily around your neck just enough to have you alert “Look me in the eyes when I’m fucking you.”

Lashes fluttering half open, looking with a fuzzy minded daze. Knowing you look like a slut, feeling drool drip everywhere along with the slickness between your legs. Coming to the reality you would let him do anything and you’d welcome it.

"Just like that baby, shit, taking my cock so fucking good," he grunts almost feral with every punishing stroke "Y-yes, " tiny voice choking out, slamming into you with hips winding harder if that was even humanely possible "Love it so much, I-love your cock.”

“Who’s a whore, uh? Who’s desperate for cock.”

“Tell me.” he growls slowing the roll of his hips into you to pull a desperate cockslut spill a mess of “Me, me, me.” you’re hyperventilating almost with how good he feels “M-me, I’m sorry!” god, the situation is a mess but he wouldn’t be lying if he wasn’t thinking about filling his load in you and pray to the man above that your birth control didn’t work.

feeling walls grow tighter and tighter, knowing the telltale signs you were about to cum.

“Perfect fucking girl, sucking me so tight.”

“S-stop..” you whine in embarrassment with a broken sob when you feel the devil himself sink deeper, balls deep inside you now.

Back and forth, back and forth.

An addictive dance, once friendly boundaries expanding to something that was speaking what will stay unspoken. Taehyung’s cock sliding so good inside your cunt you were dying with bliss for the night.

He can see you struggle to try and put a hand over your mouth, but the man won’t allow that. Snatching your hand in his grasp “Let her hear," he growls, referring to the maids and starts to fuck the life out of your cunt with no care for how loud you moan or scream.

"Y-your slut," you stutter, feeling him start to raise his hips to meet your weak attempt of grinding back, thrusting upward and matching your sloppy speed. "wanna b-be your slut."

His ego growing higher than before and dick hard as ever, Taehyung taunts, already knowing the answer by your dazed features.

“Oh yeah?” he pants grunting with every roll of his hips, and you can do nothing but give him what he wants. On the brink of tears you whine out broken moans, “So fucking bad, please Tae.”

“Come on." the taller’s strokes turning slow and hard, each one pulling a moan from sweet agape lips. "Cum on my cock.” you’re past coherent, cock drunk with drool slipping down your chin.

The ecstasy bursting through your body at an unimaginable rate,legs feel almost numb, smaller fingers gripping your sheets so hard. Taehyung already knew you would rip them off the corners of your bed, seeing how your own skin burned. Orgasm still sending ripples throughout your tiny body. Shaking as you came down from the high, cock buried deep, cum spilling inside as he keeps your body pressed together, skin to skin. His nose buried in the crook of longer sweaty strands of hair.

You begin to feel the feather kisses he mouthed over the expanse of your neck, his body quivering with the last of his cum filling you up.

“Fuck, yeah, ok.” is all he can do to respond, you can only hum in response as you’re being fucked so mind-numbingly good. Body moving along the bed as you’re fucked open for the year.

Your blissed-out state has the man feeling on top of the world, no case he’s won ever given him this much ecstasy for this feeling of high.

Knowing that the same woman he's been getting off to for months, that was only planned to be handed over to someone else is finally getting fucked. His pretty not so sweet angel drooling all for him, ruined for good by just his cock.

The floaty feeling back to how it was, only stronger than ever, the way Taehyung feels so right up against you.

He comes from his feverish moment of just drilling into you, no awareness for how overwhelming it may be. A smaller hand trying to grab his hand to make him stop, he sees nothing less of rage.

"Move your fucking hand.” he snaps with a hiss, snatching your hand in an iron like grasp.

“only I can touch you like this.” he states, hard and stern as if it’s a plead mixed into question. “Yeah?” of course he has to slap you for you to answer, braindead and cock hungry.

“Yes, all for you!” you squeal, body curling into yourself — he begins to dwell how there is not a real thought behind your eyes but his fingers and cock bearing your only passable thoughts.

He wants to laugh, your poor husband is about to be inadvertently about to be cucked.

You moan at how rough he’s being, every yank, spanking and slap getting you more than riled up. Rambling the typical ‘I love you, I love your cock.’

He’s aggravated, not sure why, deep down knowing. "Look at me and tell me what you want.” no way to receive an answer unless he squeezed a generous hand around your throat.

“Y-you, you, fuck!”

It’s not enough, he wants to laugh at his greediness that will not sate him ever.

Again and again, back and forth. Another slap landed across each apple red cheek, going harder each lashing.

“Again.”

You repeat yourself again, hm, still not enough.

He’s done with himself, frustrated and choosing to vomit his words.

“You’re mine, get that through your fucking head.” his thrusts were past hard and fast, bruising now. He grunted and groaned while you continued to moan and whimper beneath him, going so rough he decided to push your skull deep into the bed. Warm palm covering your face whole, feeling you squeeze involuntarily at being used like an object.

“Atta girl.” He didn't stop, not once. You weren’t asking to anyways just screaming his name for more — no mind here with nodding away into a mess full of bedsheets, trying to wind wobbly hips back on his cock to bounce lewdly.

Taehyung does nothing less but snap sharply against your ass, “So fucking tight, mine."

"C-cum in me tae," you moan, seeing white, reaching down blindly to rub your clit in frantic circles, begging at the idea of the older filling you with his cum. "Fill me up, give-give me a baby."

"Fuuuck," Taehyung growls and groans almost feral "Don't fucking say that shit."

"W-why not?" bratty whines beg “F-fill me up? Don't say that?"

Taehyung grunts, pulling you on him, chest to chest, you clamor to wrap shaky arms around his neck. Fuck, he’s holding you upright, bouncing you straight onto his cock. Falling forward with a squeal, crying in pleasure as the tip of his cock hits your cervix with how deep he is inside.

"Want my cum so fucking bad?" he hums, trying his best to sound unbothered. "I'll fucking give it to you then."

Your legs clamp around his waist as he pounds into you, cock hitting every point inside your body and you’re so close you think you’ll die. You feel Taehyung tense, and then a sudden gush of warmth fill you.

"Fuck me, angel. You feel so good." he gasps through l shut teeth spanking you with every thrust he gave.

At the feeling of him actually listening to what you always wanted, your orgasm blinds you in intensity, the tight coil in your stomach finally snaps. Body seizing, moans loud against his lips, whining a final tired cry to slow down.

The baby clip once stuck to hair now hung loose, the feeling of warm hands kneading hips before he would give harsh slaps to your ass.

"What do you think he would say," he spits out the name with nothing but disgust. “if he saw you like this?" He shifts his hips, "You think he'd ruin your orgasm?" tone patronizingly sympathetic. “Or.. let you cum so prettily, like you always do.”

He tsks at watching how disoriented daze eyes go through the five stages of grief. Writhing in pleasure as eyes fall closed, breath hitched when he finally lays you back down on the bed. Thighs sticky and all, he sighs at the sight.

“Want to show this cunt off to the world."

“Y-you can’t..” you pout, his eyes watching you fall apart all over again at just words being spoken to you.

“Good thing for secrets.” he smirks his mouth almost falling into a snarl, it wasn��t even spoken this would continue. One last time you agreed.. but you want him more than ever even if your situation is doomed.

“Bath?” he mutters with a whisper of soft kisses to your temple, you nod.

He grabs for his cigarettes, you hand him his lighter and wait until the deed was done so you could put them back off to the side again.

It’s been long since you both have took a bath together. He stretches his arms after he successfully calmed his nerves, you light the stick for him, eyes on him as he throws his head back to inhale. Blowing smoke out, body lazing while it filled with nicotine.

You like calm men, men who dont shout or break things when they’re upset. Men who talked to you in a gentle, low voice telling you what made them mad or what you did wrong.

That’s what Taehyung is to you, that’s what made you fall.. hard. You think it over all again in your current predicament, comfortable as ever.

Veiny caramel hands pulling your hips up in the bath for you to be settled nicely. A warm hand fondles your ass lovingly with his other taking puffs of smoke to inhale and exhale lazily, “My pretty girl.” he smiles lopsided before tugging your wobbly hips back down in relief, enjoying the way you whimpered and whined in your own way of retaliation.

Taking mercy before planting a wet kiss on your shoulder to whisper “I love you, Angel.”

Both of you decide on staying silent. Your back rests against his chest, deciding mutually to speak once the cigarette burnt into ashes.

“Does he make you feel safe, like I do?”

You don’t answer.

“I want you, you’re mine no matter what.”

≿━━━━༺❀༻━━━━≾

You are married now.. being due with a fast wedding to no love involved, business as the main goal.

The meets with Taehyung continue and you two make time to fuck when you can — poor Namjoon.

It hurts he thinks.. hurts so bad. Because he’ll have to look at you every month when you come over to be fucked into whatever.

While he is out handling business, leaving him in the spot to fuck you hard and good like he can’t, at least he tried to convince himself of that for his own comfort.

You keep up with the old routine of pillow talk, just to feel the same mundanity this once all was. You think, he doesn’t care what you speak of after he only just poured his dull sad soul into fucking you.

Not caring at how you talk so highly of your new husband and how well you both are adapting with each other. Rambling all on about your blossoming relationship with him, hearing you nervously speak of the plans on having kids together.

Of course not nervous on his behalf, no, no.

Because you are deathly nervous about if you will be a good mother or not, he knows you will, even if things are like this. You think it doesn’t hurt him, when you say genuinely on how he’ll be the “Cool friend of Mommy’s” to your children.

It drives a knife deep into my heart on how you speak so highly of this new life, how well you are adapting. When.. we could have had this.

“Tae..? You there?”

He’s not caring to respond to your rhetoric question that was all well laced of genuine care and worry, Taehyung can be an asshole just this once.

“Do you know what you are?”

You think this is a game of teasing now, he can tell with that pretty smirk plastered on your gorgeous face “What am I, sir?”

It’s too bad that he’s being genuinely serious.

“You’re my girl.”

You don’t take a second to pause, you play into the narrative with a grin that quickly warped into an innocent and sweet smile.

“I’m your girl, Taehyung.”

He only knew that you meant the world to him.. and he, adored you in his mind until it hurt.

[darkcircles4lyfe]

it's a story about hands (reprise)

Yeah, okay, today's the day.

I gave my blog that title for a reason, you know, and it has loomed over me for years because the hand motif is absolutely everywhere and you could go on about it forever.

Maybe that's something I'll never actually attempt to do, but this chapter, we reached a breaking point.

Before I continue, I need to give a big, big disclaimer: I do not have a physical disability, so I'm not able to speak about that from the standpoint of representation as a first-hand perspective. I have at least listened to enough disabled people to know that fictional characters who become amputees only to miraculously gain their limbs back is, um, a trope. Disabled people in general being "healed" is a conception we would really prefer to avoid here. Not to call people out, but I don't think we're giving enough space to acknowledge that.

I don’t feel comfortable making the judgement call about what should happen. I’m leaving that open. I also don't want to downplay people's emotional reactions. Honestly, I don't know if I can accurately define the line between acknowledging real pain vs. ableist pity. But I’d like to talk about the possibilities of what could happen. Other characters have definitely gotten permanent disabilities as a result of their hero work, or even just the side effects of their quirk. But, for better or worse, I don't think this case is really about representation. Not that Horikoshi won't do that justice. He might. What I'm saying is that's not his purpose for having Izuku lose his arms. It's meant to be symbolic, so we can explore what it means. The other thing I’m keeping in mind here is that Horikoshi is notorious for playing with our expectations, like, alllllll the time. I mean, just take a few chapters ago for a classic example. Eri appeared at the end, and we all assumed she was about to take some sort of action to save someone with her quirk. Then, immediately following, we were given an explanation for why that wouldn’t be happening. And now it’s clear he wanted to do that “fake out” not just as a silly cliffhanger prank, but specifically so we would know not to suspect that Eri could be the miraculous solution to Izuku’s loss of his arms. Rest assured, there is no easy way out of this.

The expectation at play in this particular instance is an old one. It’s very understated, but its subtext has burned so brightly, you’d be a fool not to notice it. It sits with anticipation like one half of a call and response. Man, I was so certain. Lots of people still are. I was really looking forward to printing the panel where it happened onto a t shirt and wearing it proudly. All the hand motifs in this story radiate thematically from a single moment, the one that started it all for Izuku.

It raises all kinds of questions about the act of saving, who needs saving, why, what does it mean, what are the dynamics of power, politics, honesty, exploitation, compassion, pity, disdain, sacrifice. Katsuki has dealt with many of these since he first rejected Izuku’s hand. While Izuku was the one who was convinced Katsuki would keep on rejecting him…

…Katsuki was the one who kept that moment in his mind all these years and eventually came to regret it.

Katsuki is the one yearning for that hand-hold, the one who has imbued it with so much more weight than it ever originally had. Izuku, in contrast, does not allow himself to dwell on what he wants. To illustrate this difference, we need to look at another piece of foreshadowing:

Ugh, do y'all remember when lots of folks were complaining about how there never seemed to be actual consequences for Izuku's destructive treatment of his own body? I don't blame them, I was concerned and confused about it too. There were several "fixes" along the way. Recovery Girl healed him, but left a physical reminder. Then he started training to fight with his legs… sometimes. Then he got support items. All of these were unsatisfying non-conclusions because they didn't present Izuku with a lasting enough impression to change in a meaningful way. They didn't address his core, his origin.

Of course, that all changed this chapter. Now it looks like our frustration was inflicted intentionally. With the current context in mind, all of these moments look more sinister, like this day was always gonna come because they kept putting bandaids on a deep emotional and psychological wound. The problem is pretty much spelled out for us here:

As Katsuki put it, he just doesn’t take himself into account, ya know? He doesn’t care what happens to him. And he lies about it, to keep others from worrying, to keep them safe. To keep them from returning the favor and putting themselves in harm’s way for his sake. His motivations are noble,

…but what about the little boy inside Izuku? Who saves him?

This is all about Izuku giving himself up to the point that he literally has no more to give. The thing is, I bet he saw this coming. He knew his limits and decided to keep going anyway, because his personal safety and wellbeing are not important. Now that way of thinking has come back to bite him because the fight isn’t over yet, and he’s already made his sacrifice. So now we know who will be more distraught over this. Not Izuku—Katsuki.

It’s not about Izuku becoming disabled, it’s about how Katsuki wanted to use the intertwining of their fingers to communicate that he would never let go. Never stop valuing him most. Never let himself make the mistake of rejecting him again. Never let Izuku be so reckless with his life. To say: “we are in this together.”…if only Katsuki believed he deserved to be able to say such things. To reach out his hand would have been the ultimate way to simply imply them and let Izuku be the one to decide. Then, to feel their hands clasped together would be more than either of them dared hope for, but so beautiful, so right. A moment they’ve waited their whole lives for.

Yeah. That’s what we were expecting. We’ve been so comfortable. Horikoshi gave us all the signs. He tempted and teased us over and over. BUT. You know he does this thing were he gives us a desirable, completely plausible and simple thing to look forward to, and then he snatches it away. And THEN he replaces it with something much better, something we were not expecting at all because it seemed too good to be true. That’s exactly what happened when Himiko snatched Izuku away, and we were robbed of the chance to see him and Katsuki fight together. In hindsight, though, I’m glad things went a different way because now there’s so much more depth and angst on display. Likewise, in the present moment, we may consider how, as one door closes, another opens.

As wonderfully meaningful as the hand-hold would have been, perhaps it is still too simple a resolution for Izuku, for his and Katsuki’s relationship. Tbh, it could have been done like 100 chapter ago. At this point, there’s so much more potential. There are a couple of ways it could go. If Izuku stays armless, Katsuki will be forced to use other methods to get his point across. He’ll have to do something else, or say what he means, or both. Yes, I’m talking about what you think I’m talking about. If I say it, I just might jinx it (lol), but I mean it. I’m being serious. Either way, if Izuku did get his arms back in the end, I’m sure that it wouldn’t be an easy fix. It would be hard-won against Izuku’s self-destructive mindset, and/or by Katsuki’s conviction. Again, I say this knowing it is not meant so much as a representation of disability, but as a representation of Izuku’s greatest character flaw taken to the extreme. I know this might sound harsh, like, hasn’t he been through enough? I get that, but… I’ve said it before and I say it again: Izuku is stubborn as hell.

I wish I had a resounding final note to end this on, but I kinda don’t. I’m not sure what’s best. Now we just have to wait and see what Horikoshi has in mind.

[dokries]

you need some soup!

pairing: lee seokmin (dokyeom) x gender neutral reader

genre: fluff, established relationship

word count: 1.5k

warnings: sick fic™, mentions of medicine, food and you know…being sick (having a fever/being tired), a kiss on the cheek, minghao is a saviour pharmacist, seokmin is loud

author note: basically, i want a seokmin. this is so funny because i wrote this before i became kind of sick…did i predict the future again…anyway, i hope you enjoy my rambling turned fic ♡

masterlist

seokmin wishes he got to know you earlier. he tells you this often actually, almost to the point where you’re tired of hearing it—you could never be sick of seokmin though; that would be near impossible. 

however, you can literally be sick, which is exactly what your warm forehead and cold hands are telling you. you would ask your boyfriend to bring you home some medicine but seokmin’s at rehearsals for his upcoming musical, and you  don’t want to burden him—he had been stressing about his voice the other day, and you know how hard it is for him in general. you’re not planning to add onto his already heavy load, considering that you’re seokmin’s comfort movie, as he affectionately likes to call you. he always talks about how he could watch you all day, and—yeah, you need to get up for some medicine and stop dwelling on the love of your life, no matter how fun it may be. 

you check the bathroom cabinet despite knowing that what you're looking for isn’t there. you sigh before rubbing the heels of your hands in your eyes, mentally preparing yourself to make the much needed trip to the local pharmacy. 

after a painstaking walk that feels much longer than three minutes, you enter the cool air conditioned building. you wave at minghao, making your way to the front counter. 

“hey, minghao,” you say, taking shallow breaths to calm yourself after your short walk—yikes, something’s definitely wrong—and minghao notices.

he frowns at your demeanour, calling your name softly. “are you alright…? do you need me to call seokmin?” minghao asks hesitantly, already pulling out some medicine from underneath the desk to place in front of you.

“no!” he raises an eyebrow at your immediate refusal before you continue, looking down at the options he lays out for you to take. “i…you know how stressed he’s been with the opening show coming up, right? i don’t want to worry him more.” 

minghao sighs, moving his hand slowly to your forehead to check your temperature, so you don’t get startled. he pulls back after a second, adjusting his glasses and wincing. “you definitely have a fever, though it’s not too bad…yet. i would recommend taking this one.” he pushes one bottle closer to you than the others, concern in his eyes. 

“tell seok—” he corrects himself with an eye roll at your glare, “call our number if you need anything, okay? i can deliver it to you if needed. make sure to rest, okay?” he gives you a pointed look, ringing up the bottle for you after you nod, and lets you pay before handing you a paper bag with your purchase inside. you smile wearily at minghao, giving him a wave as you leave, making your way back home. 

once the medicine goes down your throat, you flop down onto the bed. you check your phone for any messages from your boyfriend, and can’t help but smile slightly at what he sent earlier.

seokmine 🌻 ❙

SWEETIE IM SO SORRY

the staff said i probably have to stay longer so i can get my clothes fitted again :((

i’ll try to get home as soon as i can though 🫡

see you soon my love ♡

you ❙

take your time minnie <3

i hope your rehearsals went well though! i’ll be waiting at home for a full recap >:D

you groan, your phone suddenly too much to look at. yeah, maybe you should do as minghao says—he does have a degree after all. you place your phone on the nightstand beside you before closing your eyes. 

seokmin’s panicking in the dressing room, his eyes more focused on the foreboding text from his pharmacist friend than the tailor trying to get his measurements. 

first of all, the fact that he has to be notified of your health from minghao offends him. do you not trust him to be there when you’re sick? he shakes that thought off, as well as the tailor that had (sadly) been assigned to him, who sighs. seokmin apologizes frantically to them, before letting out a breath. he hasn’t been able to police you about taking care of yourself recently because of how busy his schedule’s become but he didn’t expect you to get sick. what would you do without him? …okay, seokmin knows you would do a lot without him but still. he wants to do everything he can for you, even if you can do it yourself. 

he texts you, his hands working as fast as they can, and frowns when you don’t respond right away like you usually do.  

seokmine 🌻 ❙

honey you alright??

hao texted me saying you’re sick ☹️

i’ll be home in a few i promise

honey?

seokmin’s tailor notices the worried expression on his face, and gestures for him to just leave; they could always take measurements some other day. as soon as they finish talking, seokmin’s face lights up and he bolts. he’s gone before his fellow cast members can wish him a good day, and he calls you as soon as he turns his car on. when you don’t pick up, he bites his lip and his leg shakes up and down quickly.

did you take the medicine minghao promised he gave you? are you not picking up because you’re asleep? are you collapsed on the bathroom floor, weeping about how if your minnie was there with you, you would be fine and actually able to walk to—okay, that was probably a bit much. however, seokmin can’t help but think of the worst possible scenario as he waits impatiently for the car in front of him to move so he can make that final turn into your neighbourhood. 

he unlocks the door as fast as he can, and as soon as he walks in, he finds it too quiet for his liking. he hurriedly takes off his shoes and throws his bag onto the couch in the living room before checking the bathroom to see if he was right in thinking you’re in there. seokmin lets out a breath when he doesn’t see you, thankful his overactive imagination isn’t reality.

he peers into the bedroom at first, and as soon as he sees your sleeping figure, he just about sobs, pulling the door open dramatically—he is a musical actor after all. “MY LOVE! I THOUGHT YOU FAINTED OR WERE CRYING OR—” your boyfriend yells, falling onto the bed and cutting himself off as he presses his face into your outstretched arm.

you rub your eyes sleepily with your other hand, slowly registering that it isn’t a dream, and your boyfriend really is grabbing onto you, about to sob. you cover your mouth and yawn before placing a kiss on his forehead with a smile. “i’m fine, minnie!” 

seokmin looks up at you with a pout as he checks your temperature with a peck on your cheek. you giggle at the gentle motion as he leans back to look at you once more, his voice whiny as he calls your name. “your face is so hot! you’re definitely not fine.” 

you roll your eyes before pushing him away softly, not wanting him to get sick too. seokmin glares at you jokingly before getting up with a sigh, realizing that he can’t risk getting sick, even if he wants to cuddle with you all day. 

his shoulders drop before he sighs again. dear god, someone would think he’s the one who’s got a fever. you push yourself up to a sitting position, and seokmin’s immediately by your side, fixing the pillows so you’re comfortable. you give him a look, and he backs away to the other side of the room. 

“since i can’t cuddle you like i want to, i’m going to make some soup! you look like you need some anyway.” seokmin smiles softy as he backs away toward the door, blowing you a kiss because he can’t actually give you one. 

you grin before blowing one back, and he smiles before frowning in frustration. “oh, i wanna kiss your sweet face so bad, this isn’t fair!” he groans as he walks back to the kitchen. all you do is giggle before grabbing your phone from where you kept it before.

you ❙

minghao i love you

thank you for sending min my way ♡

haohao 🤞 ❙

???

oh right

you’re welcome

tbh seokmin would’ve been really upset if i hadn’t

you ❙

HAHA yeah…

minghao i’ll be a loyal customer until the very end !!

you are my one and only pharmacist for life !!

minghao for president 🫡

haohao 🤞 ❙

…okay? thanks for the support i guess

you two are so in love with each other aren’t you

[fizzydrink698]

consort vi | minho

pairing: lee minho x reader

word count: 17.1k

genre: historical au, arranged marriage au, enemies-to-lovers

warnings: period-typical sexism, a boatload of family issues, a rapidly increasing amount of sexual tension, like reader is starting to go the tiniest bit feral about it

series masterlist | one | two | three | four | five

summary:

Minho paused, the lingering traces of cheer disappearing before your eyes. The shift in his mood was almost tangible, and it felt as if you had made some sort of misstep in a dance, thrown yourself and your partner out of rhythm.

His gaze flickered upwards, so very briefly, to look at you, before moving downwards. Down to your notes, down to where the space between your bodies was at its narrowest, barely a few fingers’ width between your skirts and his thigh. He took a breath.

An uneasy sleep must have reclaimed you in the night, because you awakened to soft morning light streaming through the windows – and chambers entirely devoid of Minho.

You sat up, unsteady, the beginnings of a headache already forming. Your thoughts were scattered, muffled as if wrapped in cotton, barely intelligible under the dull throbbing.

An empty bedchamber. Did that disappoint you? The sheets beside you seemed undisturbed, indicating that he hadn’t joined you at any point in the night, hadn’t risen from the couch he’d been sleeping on last night when – 

Embarrassment – hot, ugly flashes of it – flared within you, so violent that you physically shuddered in an effort to suppress it. You wouldn’t be so careless again, risking something so mortifying and so vulnerable as being caught in a position like that.

A tiny voice in your mind uttered thanks for Minho’s order to keep servants out of his chambers without specific request. You didn’t want to imagine having to untangle these awful thoughts in front of an audience waiting to dress you for the morning. 

The more you dwelled on the situation, the more you could feel something in your chest twist. Shame, perhaps. You couldn’t help but picture last night again and again, your awful thoughts painting over your memories, imagining Minho’s eyes open instead of closed, imagining the curl of his lip as he watched you in disdain, maybe even in disgust–

No.

You felt your expression harden, breath expelling from you in one sharp burst. You hadn’t realised how much anger you could summon at merely an imagined Minho. Already, even at just the thought of him, you found yourself itching to rebuke him, to challenge the contempt you had imagined yourself.

There was a danger that you could spend the whole day in this bed, imagining all the ways in which you could argue with Minho.

So, instead, you forced yourself out of bed, determined to focus on the rest of your day and leave last night firmly in the past.

It was strange to realise just how quiet these chambers were. They were so far removed from the bustling of the palace’s lower floors that even now, as scores of nobles and servants alike rose from their beds and began their days, you could almost mistake the palace for being empty.

The spring morning air was no longer a shock of cold, but pleasantly mild. Perhaps you should make use of the weather today, you thought. It would be good to get some fresh air.

And then, you came to a sudden halt – as a flash of orange caught your attention out of the corner of your eye.

You turned your head, startled, to find a tabby cat perched on the low table of Minho’s chambers, staring you down.

This was not the pampered sort of housecat you had seen in the houses of your mother’s friends during your youth. While this cat seemed well-fed, there were tell-tale signs of the fights it must have gotten into. There was a pea-sized chunk missing from its left ear, and a faint scar on its little orange snout.

Perhaps this was a kitchen mouser? But how had it wandered so far into the palace, all the way into Minho’s chambers? How had it gotten past those heavy wooden doors, not to mention the guards stationed nearby?

You dared to take a step towards it – to no response. The cat continued to stare. Its tail twitched from one side to the other, slowly, almost lazily.

It didn’t move as you approached, instead continuing to eye you with an expression so distinctly unimpressed for such a tiny face.

Of course, the second you lifted your hand towards it, it jumped away from you in the blink of an eye. There was no panic to its retreat, just a vague sense of disdain as it withdrew from your reach.

For one brief second, you were bizarrely reminded of Minho.

To your own surprise, laughter bubbled up in your chest, slipping out between your lips. It lifted a weight off of your chest, leaving you feeling just a little lighter as you observed the way the cat shot you what could only be described as the feline equivalent of a scowl before it padded over to the bed and disappeared beneath it.

Deciding against following the cat and disturbing its hiding place, you chose to head for the door and request breakfast be served outside.

It seemed only right that the lingering worries of the previous night’s events would disappear in the light of a warm spring day.

There was something so calming about the palace grounds in the morning. At your request, a table and chair had been set up at the base of a hill, just by the long winding steps back up to the palace itself, in perfect position for you to gaze out at the huge expanses of land in front of you.

Morning dew budded on the still blades of grass. Clouds slowly drifted across the sky above, the sun hiding behind them, only reappearing at just the moment the air grew too chilly. In the distance, a light layer of fog lingered amongst the trees of the royal forest, retreating further and further with each moment.

There was nothing but peace and quiet.

You breathed deeply, savouring the morning air, as you reached for the last slice of bread. Beside it, in a tiny porcelain dish, sat a little pat of creamy butter. You scraped the last of it up with your knife to carefully spread onto the bread.

Your plans for the day were the same as always. Studying, mostly. You were eager to crack open the most recent council records you could find, already making plans to note down the stances of each member, the factions that might have formed, anything that might be useful.

How soon would Minho talk to his father? How much time did you have to prepare? You should have pressed for more details.

You could ask him at dinner this evening, you realised. It was still such a strange idea, to think that you and Minho could talk to each other so…often, now.

Because you shared a bedchamber, a voice in your mind – one that sounded suspiciously like your mother – reminded you. You should be doing so much more than just talking.

A mouthful of bread lodged itself in your throat mid-swallow, making you cough and splutter as you reached for your tea.

Not that you were particularly eager for that, of course. Last night had been a brief moment of insanity, a sudden break from rational thought, brought on by returning to the bed that held so many strong memories. It had infected your dreams, and even seeped into your sleep-addled actions in the dead of night, but now you had recovered.

Now, once again, you were just as uninterested as he was. Moving to his chambers was good enough to mend your image as a successful, stable pairing. It didn’t matter what happened behind closed doors, because you had gotten what you wanted.

But before you could make an effort to divert your thoughts back towards the day ahead, the peace of the morning was broken.

You watched as a group of palace guards marched into sight, descending the palace steps – and you stilled when you saw the person they were accompanying.

Her Majesty, the Queen.

You sat up a little straighter, as your eyes met across the wide-open space of the palace lawns. She always seemed so perfectly put together, her long dark hair twisted and braided neatly into a bun, the soft and sweeping fabrics of her dress somehow spotless even when brushing against the ground.

In her fine features, there was so much of Felix. You almost wanted to look away.

Instead, you followed protocol to the letter, rising to your feet and bowing your head at her arrival. “Your Majesty.”

“I didn’t expect to see you here,” she replied, and there was a genuine soft note of surprise to her voice that reinforced her words. “If you’re finished with your meal, would you like to accompany me across the grounds?”

You blinked, lifting your head in shock. You’d barely spoken to this woman in weeks. You’d half-expected her to ignore you. You’d half-given up on the affection the two of you had grown for each other during your childhood.

“Y-yes,” you replied, and cleared your throat. “Yes, I’d love to.”

She gave you a smile – one so deeply familiar that it made your heart ache for just a second – and inclined her head, silently offering you the place by her side.

You moved quickly, almost without thinking, barely retaining the grace expected for a lady of your position, as you tried to join her before she could change her mind.

Before the two of you could start walking, however, she first turned to glance at the guards behind her. With a firm, clear voice of a queen, she told them. “I trust I’m accompanied by guards possessing the respect of allowing two ladies some privacy while they talk. Am I not?”

The nearest guard’s eyes widened slightly in understanding, and he hurried to nod at her. “Yes, Your Majesty. Of course.”

“Delightful to hear. The usual twelve paces behind will suffice,” she said, her voice so casual that the comment could almost be described as offhand, before she finally set off. You had to quicken your steps slightly to catch up with her.

And, sure enough, the guards waited until you were twelve paces ahead before they followed – at the perfect distance to remain out of earshot.

This was the woman you remembered from your childhood. Always polite, always charming, and just a little cleverer than she seemed.

You fell into step beside her, searching for something to say to start the conversation. “I heard a delegation from the Lakelands are on their way.”

“Yes,” she said, nodding with a warm smile. “Most of the delegates only came to their position after I left, but I know a handful. Among them is a prince I last saw as a young boy. I look forward to seeing the man he’s now grown to be.”

“That will be nice,” you remarked, looking for something else to say. Something clever, or funny, or charming. It used to be so much easier to talk to her. “Do you miss the Lakelands?”

“Occasionally. Especially in the winter. I’ve never developed a taste for the cold that sets in here,” she said, but there was no trace of sadness in her voice. Nothing wistful. “But what about you? Are you keeping well?”

“Yes,” you replied – but it felt like a half-truth at best. “As well as can be.”

“I’m sure you’ve had so many pleasantries asked about your marriage,” she said. “That’s usually all people can think to talk about, with women like us.”

Her words struck something in you, hooking something strange and raw and tugging it out into the open.

“That’s usually the topic of conversation, yes.”

Her lips twitched, the briefest flicker of a smile. “Then we’ll speak about something else. Are you still keeping to your studies?”

 “Yes!” you exclaimed, unable to keep your excitement from rushing out. “Practically every day. Mostly, I’ve been focusing on my histories and geography, but I like to brush up on my languages every so often.”

“You did always love studying your histories,” the Queen nodded, and for the first time in your conversation, you picked up on the slightest hint of sadness in her tone.

It sparked a vaguely familiar feeling. An old desire to cheer her, the feeling so ingrained that it felt like slipping on an old favourite coat.

“My new tutor has helped quite splendidly,” you said, with a smile just a touch forced. “I hadn’t realised how much more I could learn with someone following me in my interests, instead of just telling me what I should be interested in.” 

The Queen smiled back at you, and hers seemed entirely genuine. “There seems so much to catch up on. I’ve been meaning to talk to you sooner.”

Her words, as light and carefree as she had offered them, managed to hit something deep within you. Your expression faltered, as you felt the words dig into you, like claws gripping your flesh, piercing you.

You blurted out your only thought. “Why didn’t you?”

The question came out in a rush, an outpouring of emotion that you had tried so hard to keep dammed. You watched the way she paused, caught off-guard by your sudden harsh words.

You swallowed, trying frantically to recover some sense of manners. “I mean, I…it’s just I’ve been…I’ve been so alone since…”

“…I know.”

Her gaze grew so soft, as she watched you sadly. There were moments, occasionally, when her eyes were so expressive, just as Felix’s were.

For a moment, you pictured what it must have been like for her, all those years ago. Newly married to a stranger, not just alone but alone in an entirely different kingdom. A kingdom that her father and her father’s father and his father before that had been at war with. A kingdom with a people who mistrusted her, who still mourned for her husband’s first wife, the beloved wife, the wife she must constantly be compared to in public and in private.

You wondered how long it took her to learn to hide those expressive eyes. You wondered if it saddened her to look upon her son, and see those same bright eyes shining back.

“I missed you,” you confessed. “I miss how it used to be.”

“So do I, sweetling,” she murmured. There were only two people in this world the Queen called ‘sweetling’. One was standing in front of her. The other was half a kingdom away, quiet and aching by the coast. “But that’s precisely why I’ve stayed away.”

“What?” You asked, sharp in your confusion. “What are you talking about?”

“There are whispers at court,” she began, before pausing. You detected the faintest of eye-rolls as she continued. “There always are. Right now, they are centred on you.”

“Me?” You repeated. “I haven’t heard anything.”

“Oh, the subjects never do,” she said, her tone sharpening just a touch. You knew she’d had her fair share of experience with court rumours. “It’s no fun for them if the rumour gets dragged into daylight and exposed for the nonsense that it is. Better to whisper in secret, and give their empty brains something to spin from nothing.”

“What are they saying?” You asked. You’d half-expected something like this to happen, but you’d always thought your first reaction would be worry, or fear – and yet, right now, the news filled you with nothing but anger.

“They’re harmless, for now. Idle gossip. But if any fuel is added to them, they could prove dangerous–”

“What are they saying?” You repeated, cutting her off. You needed to hear it. You already had an inkling, but you needed it in words.

She sighed. “…You and Felix. I’m afraid my son will always be a subject for scandal in your future.”

Felix.

You turned away, eyes searching for the horizon, for something to fix on in the distance.

You hated that this didn’t surprise you. You hated that your paranoia, your constant insecurity about how you were perceived, about how your issues with Minho were perceived, that constant nagging feeling of your marriage being forced under a magnifying glass, was partially justified.

“Anything in particular?” You finally managed to ask when your voice returned to you.

“The stories change every week. Nothing has truly taken hold, which is a good thing,” the queen reassured you. “But until you and Minho…well, when your marriage seemed on shakier ground, I thought it was wise to keep my distance. I thought it would make things easier for you.”

Easier.

Right.

A lump was forming in your throat. You did your best to swallow it down.

“I thought you were angry at me,” you admitted. “For marrying Minho, instead of your son.”

“You did marry my son.”

There was such strong feeling in her voice that it forced your gaze back to her. The queen’s jaw was set, her mouth curved downwards slightly. Years and years of learned authority, of power however scant it might be, radiated through her as she stood firm.

“Minho is my son. In every way that counts.”

You stared, silent, as the faintest hint of guilt began to warm your cheeks.

The queen continued to walk, her gaze softening as she fell back into old memories. “He was so tiny when I entered the palace. I helped him take his first steps. I helped him learn his letters, I selected his tutors and I watched him grow.”

She slowed her steps, as you reached the edge of the forest that surrounded the palace. The two of you would have to turn back soon, but you took a moment to observe the quiet of the trees, the way that sunlight filtered through the newly-grown leaves.

“I might not be called his mother, but he is my son,” she finished, quietly. “And I’m very proud of him.”

She blinked rapidly a few times, clearing her throat, and turned to flash you the briefest of knowing smiles. “As mule-headed as he can be sometimes.”

You couldn’t help but laugh – albeit quietly, softly, as the emotion of the conversation still kept its grip on you. 

There was a pull in you – that familiar one, the one that urged you to please others, the one that pushed you to say exactly the perfect thing – to praise Minho to the Queen. To call him a good man. You knew she would want to hear it, she would want to hear how happy you had turned out in spite of it all, that by pure serendipity, your marriage to Minho was just as splendid and happy as the marriage with Felix you had been awaiting your whole life.

But the words stuck in your throat. You practically choked on them. Not just because they were untrue.

Because for a second – for such a brief, unthinking second – you had wanted them to be true, just as badly as she did.

Something cold began to take hold of you. It started in your gut, unfurling his long icy fingers, grabbing and twisting and squeezing as it slowly dragged the rest of you into its grip.

Betrayal. In that moment, you felt – you knew – you had betrayed Felix.

Did it show on your face? The queen was watching you now, and you couldn’t imagine the expression you must have had.

You swallowed, trying with all you had to shove that awful pain away.

You needed to say something. Anything.

“Minho…he’s always…he never seems to care when people believe the worst in him,” you said, the words stumbling out of you, as if your mind was two steps behind your mouth. “It’s almost like he prefers it. I don’t understand it.”

The queen took in your words. After one long pause, in which her eyes studied you so intensely that it felt they were about to burn through you, she turned to look up at the palace on the hill. Even from this distance, it seemed to loom over you, waiting so impatiently for you to return.

“This place…” she trailed off. Her jaw tightened - and in that one instant, as her eyes flashed, you saw the teenage girl that had first stepped foot into this court, so far from home and facing such a nest of vipers. “It pulls something out of the people here. A way to protect themselves. My husband already had his ingrained when I came here. I felt it take hold within myself. I watched it form in Minho, that desire to push people away. And you…” she turned to you, briefly, and you blinked at the twist of amusement in her lips. “What opposites you and he are. How perfectly you mirror.”

You stared. Her words were vague, cryptic…and yet, you couldn’t help feel as if you had been insulted. You opened your mouth to protest, but the queen had already turned away back towards the palace.

“You can’t live in a place like this without growing a few thorns,” the queen sighed. “Like the roses in my gardens, I suppose. The ones without thorns are the first to be eaten.”

There was something layered in her words, something sad, something resigned.

You realised then that of all the members of the royal family she had just mentioned, there was one obvious name left unsaid.

“Let us return,” she said, finally. “Before those guards grow too curious and drift too close.”

Not only did Minho keep his promise of returning for dinner again that evening, he arrived even earlier than you.

You almost stopped at the door, thrown by the sight of him at the table, as perfectly poised as he always was, flicking through a sheaf of papers by the side of his plate. He looked up at your arrival, eyes meeting yours, and something caught in your chest.

You hadn’t realised how strange it would be to see him in person after last night, how…affecting.

Clearing your throat, you gave him a tight smile and made your way to your seat across from him – unfortunately for you, as it gave you a clear unobstructed view of Minho at a time when you very much wished for anything but that.

You reached for the decanter in front of you, eager to pour yourself a drink to deal with this building lump in your throat. To your surprise, you found it to be filled with water, not wine.

“How was your day?” you asked, finally speaking, hoping to sound calm and collected.

Minho eyed you carefully, as if you’d offered some sort of complex riddle, and not a feeble attempt at small-talk. “…Slow. Until the Lakelander delegation arrives, there’s nothing urgent to take care of. I’ve been looking over budget proposals for the harvest season.”

The harvest season was months away. In fact, you were almost certain that the fields had only just been sown at all. That truly did seem like a slow day. “I see.”

You knew you should try to continue the conversation, to ask him more about his work. Instead, you let your eyes drop to the plate of food in front of you, words dying on your tongue as you tried and failed to push down the memories of last night.

It felt so…deeply indecent, to sit across from Minho, and pretend you hadn’t touched yourself just a few feet away from him. And it was only made more indecent by the fact that he didn’t know.

It was all you could think about when you looked at him. You knew a secret, and he didn’t.

For dinner, the kitchens had prepared some sort of fish beautifully. Perfectly cooked, tender and soft and practically melting in your mouth.

You barely tasted it. You just kept eating, preoccupied, eyes trained on your plate. You were certain that if you looked up at Minho for too long, you would give yourself away.

In fact, the longer you sat there, the more uncertain you became.

Were you acting unnaturally? Were you too quiet, too reluctant to make conversation?

But, then again, what exactly did acting ‘naturally’ in Minho’s presence entail? You might have finally found yourselves on better terms, but…

“Something on your mind?”

Your eyes jerked up to meet his, caught off-guard.

How long had Minho been observing you? It looked like he hadn’t even touched his food yet, one hand resting on top of his papers, his other arm propped up on the table, hand curled under his chin as he looked at you.

You made an effort to swallow down the food in your mouth, despite how dry your throat had become, and reached for your water with all the nonchalance you could muster. “Not particularly. I was just…”

Think of something, think of anything.

“Wondering about those budget proposals. The harvest season must be months away. Was there really nothing else more pressing?”

Minho was quiet for a second, just long enough to spark the tiniest flicker of nerves in the pit of your gut, before he let out a sigh. “My father likes to drip-feed me responsibilities, one at a time. If there is anything else more urgent, I won’t know until my next meeting with him. And that won’t be for several days.”

There was an edge of frustration in his voice, something long-suffering, as if this were the topic of multiple arguments in the past, arguments that never seemed to resolve themselves in his favour.

He reached for his water, taking a sip, before his gaze returned to you. “That will also be when I talk to him about you joining the council.”

For a brief moment, all thoughts about the previous night and your embarrassing secret disappeared from your mind entirely. You leaned forward, intrigued. “What do you think his response will be?”

Minho tilted his head slightly in thought – and it filled you with surprise at the fact that you recognised this subtle shift in Minho’s body language, that at some point you had come to learn how to read him, even slightly – and replied. “…I won’t mince words–”

“Do you ever?” You retorted, almost without thinking.

Minho’s lips twitched, fighting a smile, but continued without acknowledging your mildest of jabs. “It will be a hard sell. My father is not a revolutionary. A large part of his popularity has come from his upholding of tradition. But he’s been dragging his feet on filling this council seat for months now, and for good reason. It’s a political minefield, and you are the best compromise. I hope he’ll see that.”

Minho was right. Your appointment to the council, however perfect a resolution to the infighting between your father and the blue-blooded nobility, would not be an easy sell at all. “I hope so too.”

The rest of your dinner passed in relative quiet, but the little calm you managed to gain in that time soon evaporated when you exited the dining room – and found yourself confronted yet again with the question of sleeping arrangements.

Minho’s bed was now the site of two of your most scandalous transgressions. Both of which involved Minho, both of which rendered you almost completely unable to look him in the eye whenever you thought of them.

In contrast to your internal strife, however, Minho seemed perfectly at ease.

He transported his sheaf of papers from the dining table to the couch, seating himself comfortably and setting them down on the low table in front of him.

Actually, perhaps ‘stack’ of papers might be more accurate a description than ‘sheaf’. Just how much work went into preparing these budget proposals? Had he done so little in his office all day to bring so much work to do in his chambers? Or was this a far more demanding responsibility than you had assumed?

All evidence seemed to point to the latter, as Minho worked silently throughout the evening, brow furrowed just a hint in concentration. He didn’t look up once, not when you rose to start preparing for bed, not when you returned in your nightclothes, not even when you wished him good night. He returned the words with a quiet murmur, clearly too enwrapped with whatever he was working on.

He was so engrossed, he didn’t see the way you hesitated by the bed.

Should you invite him over? He might have had work to do, but this would be yet another night that you went to bed without him. You were sharing a bedchamber now, surely the two of you should…

At least once, you should…

You tried to decide on the words of the invitation, of how to phrase it. A suggestion that he should bring his papers to bed, if he had so much work still to do? That was a reasonable question, wasn’t it? If he refused, you could press him on it, demand to know why it was beginning to seem as if he were still avoiding you…

“Yes?”

You blinked, emerging from your thoughts, to find Minho had glanced over to you. You likely made a strange sight, hovering by the bed, still yet to get under its covers.

The words were on the tip of your tongue, carefully crafted, ready to ask.

And then, traitorously, you thought of last night again.

Minho had been on the other side of the room, able to sleep through it, but if he’d been next to you… 

You pictured it. You pictured jostling him awake in your sleep, the embarrassing sounds you might make. What you might do.

An awful, awful wave of embarrassment crashed through you because what if you tried to grab at him in your sleep?

You swallowed, turning away without even attempting to reply to Minho, and slipped under the bedcovers without another word.

In the morning, you woke to find that Minho had already risen long before you. The bedchamber was empty, and again the sheets by your side were untouched.

When the third night elapsed in just the same way, and the fourth, it became clear that this couldn’t be mere coincidence. Minho didn’t just happen to be so enthralled in his work that he fell asleep on the couch four nights in a row.

He was refusing to sleep beside you. You might have forced his hand in letting you share his chambers, but apparently he would not let that extend to his actual bed.

You were half-convinced he still held that early contempt for you, that he was still stubbornly maintaining that unconquerable distance between the two of you out of disdain.

And yet, he still sat with you at every dinner. He talked with you about his day, about your studies, telling stories about a particular odious noble that had done something to irk him, or listening to you talk passionately about a particular historical figure or event that had come up in your research. He’d even teased you once, when you confessed that you didn’t have the patience to read through the handful of art history books that Seungmin had added to your list.

The two of you were very slowly developing some odd sense of…well, perhaps friendship was still too strong a choice of word, but at least an understanding around each other that definitely hadn’t been present in the first few weeks of your marriage.

Nowhere else had this become so apparent than on your fifth evening in Minho’s bedchambers.

For a change of scenery, you had decided to spend the afternoon catching up on your research in these chambers, taking lunch there with your books, enjoying the little pocket of quiet in which Minho’s bedchambers were nestled within the palace.

To your surprise, and delight, the cat was back.

Initially, it was just as sullen as you remembered. It eyed you from across the room, perched on the low table yet again, sat as tall and imposing as it could make itself.

That was, until you called for a plate of kippers to be brought to you.

Despite its surly appearance, the cat barely needed convincing before it wandered over to you and the plate of fish, taking each offered kipper from your hand without hesitation. After three fish, it allowed you the softest of pets between its ears. After six, it drew closer, jumping from the table to the seat next to you, a little more relaxed as it took yet another fish from your hand.

To your delight, once the plate was empty, the cat did not abandon you immediately. In fact, it curled up near you – not quite close enough to be within easy reach, but enough that you could lean over and give it slow and gentle strokes as you continued to read. It even began to purr, just a little, whenever you scratched just beneath the base of its ears.

The more attention you gave the cat, the more you realised just how cared for it seemed to be. How comfortable it was with being touched, how well-fed it was, how soft its fur was. Even in a palace, this was not at all typical for a kitchen mouser.

“Someone spoils you, don’t they?” You murmured, giving the cat more strokes. “I can see why, you’re lovely. So cute.”

The cat, while not acknowledging your words, leaned its head up into your hand a little, chasing after those little scratches.

You were close to abandoning your studies entirely for the day, ready to devote your full attention to this adorable little creature, when the bedchamber doors swung open.

The cat jolted a little, jumping from its place on the couch – but to your relief, did not run out of the room. Instead, it lingered by the low table, ready to disappear under it, and stared down the sudden arrival.

Minho, mouth still parted slightly in whatever greeting he’d been about to give you, was silent as his gaze flickered between you and the orange cat eyeing him from the floor.

“We have a visitor,” you told Minho, solemnly, gesturing to the cat.

Minho nodded, briefly, still looking between you and the cat. “Yes. Yes, she seems to like it in here.”

“‘She’?” You repeated, raising an eyebrow.

Minho’s expression immediately smoothed into the perfect neutral, refusing to give even the slightest bit of emotion away. “…I assume.”

“Mm. Well, she seems to be a sweetheart.”

“Does she?” Minho repeated, glancing at the cat again, who seemed to have now relaxed. She began to approach Minho’s feet, sniffing familiarly at his boots.

“I may have had to bribe her with a plate of kippers,” you admitted, increasingly amused by the way the cat began to weave her way between Minho’s legs, but managed not to let it show too obviously in your face. “She seems very well-fed, for a kitchen mouser.”

Minho made a non-committal sound in response, not meeting your eyes. “…Yes, well, I imagine people must toss her dinner scraps here and there.”

“I suppose so. But who would be so soft-hearted in this palace, to feed a kitchen cat from their own plate?” You wondered aloud.

Minho’s face was a mask at this point, unmoving, perfectly calculated. He made his way to one of his armchairs, attempting to ignore the way the cat followed him happily, jumping up and perching herself on the arm of his chair.

You continued. “In fact, I wonder what a mouser would be doing here, so far away from the kitchens. That’s quite a distance for a cat to wander unprompted.”

“I suppose so,” Minho stated, perfectly neutral, even as the cat moved from the arm of the chair to seat herself in his lap.

You continued to stare at him, wordless, eyebrow raised – and finally, he relented.

“I might have given her some scraps, once or twice,” he admitted, even as the cat nuzzled into his hand from where she rested nearby. “I suppose she can’t help it if she isn’t good at mousing, and goes hungry.”

“True,” you allowed, thoroughly unconvinced by his façade. “And do you know if this failed mouser has a name?”

“…I think I’ve heard someone call her Soonie,” Minho said, and finally let his hand drift over to Soonie and begin to give her gentle scratching behind her ears. She purred loudly enough that you could hear her from where you sat, utterly content to receive affection from someone she was clearly very familiar with. “Somewhere. At some point.”

“How odd. Not many kitchen mousers have names.”

“Mm,” Minho hummed, noncommittal, but when his eyes dropped down to glance at Soonie, he couldn’t hide the slightest of smiles.

You took in the sight, this cold and prickly prince melting as he pet the scruffy little tabby cat. Minho was still in his usual daily prince attire, all high-necked and formal. His legs were clad in those familiar riding leathers that you never let yourself look at for too long, so you moved your attention instead to his jacket. Instead of a royal scarlet, this one was a dark blue, the fabric glinting in the candlelight from the clusters of beading embroidered within it. It suited him, you forced yourself to admit, far more than red did.

In fact, you tried to remember the last time Minho had worn the colour red, but nothing recent sprang to mind. Perhaps…

“I’m meeting with my father tomorrow,” Minho told you, and immediately your attention was captured.

Tomorrow.

The word sparked something in your gut – not quite dread, or alarm, but something akin to that. Urgency.

You swallowed back your excitement, remaining as calm and neutral as you could. “And you’ll talk to him about the council?”

“That’s the plan,” Minho replied, enigmatic.

You paused, and a quiet fell over the room. It wasn’t as if Minho was expecting you to reply – in fact, as Soonie settled completely in his lap, chin dropping to rest on his knee, he was looking down and away from you.

But something still just…tugged at you. Just a little bit.

Your eyes darted down to the book in your hands, and as nonchalantly as you could, you spoke. “…Thank you.”

You saw Minho move out of the corner of your eye, head raising to look at you.

“…I’m just doing what I’m supposed to,” Minho said, his voice detached and light. “One of my duties is to recommend the most capable candidate I can find. Don’t think of it as a favour.”

His words rendered you speechless, heart beginning to pound in your ears.

Most capable.

You were the daughter of a rich, powerful man. You had been given many compliments throughout your lifetime.

None of them had ever caused the same kind of lump to form in your throat as you felt now. None had caused this kind of strange heat to bloom behind your eyes, this way your heart swelled.

Most capable.

And just like that, you were spurred into action. If you had only one night left to prepare yourself and construct the perfect defence to prove why you deserved to be on the council, you would take full advantage of it.

You began combing through the papers you had with you, reading voraciously, consuming every piece of information available to you. You did this throughout dinner, chewing absently as you turned pages and scrawled notes. You were so devoted to your studies, you made your way through two full cups of tea before realising, upon looking up, that it was Minho who poured it for you each time.

Your eyes met, just as he held the teapot over your cup to pour a third time, and your gaze held long enough to note the flicker of amusement in his before he looked away.

When dinner was over, you retreated back to the couch with more reading to finish. Minho did the same, taking up the same spot he did every evening, that familiar pile of paperwork set in front of him. There was a strangely companionable silence as the two of you worked into the night.

You almost forgot he was there, despite the sounds of his writing and the crisp sounds of paper-shuffling, slipping into a quiet rhythm of reading and re-reading until words began to blur together.

As the candles burned low, and the hours grew later and later, you felt your concentration start to slip. Your eyes would close, just for a few moments, and the will to open them again slowly began to elude you. Exhaustion crept up on you, an old friend, and you found yourself repeating paragraphs, reading over the same sentence again and again and unable to take in its meaning.

Your eyes closed again, and you vaguely remembered telling yourself it would be just for a moment.

Sleep found you instead.

Blissful, calm. Warmth from the fire. Papers slipping from your hand, but never landing on the floor. You felt safe, wrapped in the quiet.

Something brushed your arm. Soft. Fur. Soonie?

Your eyes opened, bleary, only to find grey instead of orange. The wrongness of it jolted you, your hand darting out to grab at something pale and moving.

Skin.

A hand. Soft.

Except for a callus on the edge of a knuckle on the middle finger. You recognised it, for you had your own on the very same finger. It was where the pen sat whenever you wrote.

Your gaze wandered, still sleep-fogged, and there was no surprise when you saw the hand attached to a Minho.

Your grip on him relaxed, fingers slipping from his, and you barely mumbled a half-formed thought. “Your hand matches mine.”

Your eyes closed again, just as Minho stilled, and you drifted back to sleep.

You woke up, neck aching, still upright on the couch. Your books and papers lay scattered around you, from where you’d been too tired to put them away properly. Morning light streamed in from the windows, and despite the ashes in the fireplace indicating that it had long since burned out, you found yourself unusually warm.

Ah. You had fallen asleep in the previous day’s clothes – and with very familiar furs draped over you.

There was a brief flash of a memory, of Minho’s hand pulling the furs over you. You dimly recalled saying something, perhaps, but the details escaped you. You pushed the furs off of you, your movements unusually gentle as you handled the blanket, as if it commandeered an unthinking respect from you. Sentiment, maybe.

As always, Minho had risen before you and left your chambers, but today this observation filled you with equal parts excitement and nerves.

Were they discussing it right at this moment? Did their meetings take place in the mornings? Or in the afternoons? Would other items be brought up first?

It was maddening, to have so many questions and no way to pursue the answers.

With a night’s worth of sweat sticking to your skin, you made up a bath for yourself, even heating the water entirely on your own. The only oils in Minho’s bathroom were lavender, suited for relaxation in the evenings rather than energising in the mornings, but you made do. 

The water was a touch cooler than how you usually liked it, but you didn’t have the patience to heat more water. Instead, you stripped and climbed into the bath with as much grace as you could muster and set about cleaning yourself.

This wasn’t the first time you had bathed entirely without servants – in fact, since you had moved into Minho’s chambers, the only times a servant had been permitted to enter was to bring them dinner each evening.

You found yourself becoming…amenable to that arrangement. It gave Minho’s chambers a sense of quiet, a private solace, that could not be found anywhere else in the palace.

Perhaps that was why it was so jarring, almost invading, when you heard knocking from afar, the sound of a door swinging open, and a woman’s voice ringing out hesitantly. “Your Highness?”

You startled, upsetting the water, letting some of it slosh over the side of the bath and onto the floor. “Yes? Is something wrong?”

Footsteps approached – timid, rushed – and the voice drew closer. “You’ve been summoned, Your Highness. By the king.”

Your stomach dropped, your breath cut short.

“He…said it was urgent, Your Highness, but I can let them know you’re still bathing–”

“No,” you blurted out, quickly, sharply. You got out of the bath hastily, dripping water all over the floor. “Help me change into something quickly, and I’ll go now.” 

There was only one reason you would be summoned by the king on this particular day, and from the sounds of it, it wasn’t to congratulate you on your new position on the council.

You needed to stand your ground, to explain your reasoning in the face of his refusal. And if there was any chance of persuading him to grant you the position, to ignore the concerns of your gender…

Well, telling the king that he needed to wait to discuss urgent business until the princess finished drying her hair was not the kind of image you wanted to present to him.

And so, you were laced into a dress with impressive dexterity by your maid, the luscious fabric increasingly dampened from your dripping hair. Was it an uncomfortable sensation? Absolutely, but it was difficult to dwell on it when all you could think of was why you were be summoned, what could have happened between the king and Minho to warrant such an urgent demand for your presence.

Discussions must not have gone as smoothly as Minho intended – but not so disastrously as to be dismissed out of hand.

As you slipped on a pair of shoes, your maid gave one last attempt to persuade you to wait. “Your Highness, are you sure…”

 You turned, smiling politely at her. “Yes. I’m sure it will dry soon enough. Thank you for all your help.”

She returned your smile, somewhat nervously, eyes darting to the dishevelled aspects of your appearance, but seemed a little more assured. Marginally. Barely.

Before she could protest again, you marched straight for the door.

Of course, as was so often the case with grand gestures, there were certain factors you didn’t think through entirely.

The palace halls were unforgivingly cold, especially as your hair continued to slowly drip water down your neck, soaking into the back of your gown. It made every step uncomfortable, as every little drop of water that landed on the nape of your neck was another reprimanding shock of chill.

You made sure to stand tall, proud.

If your head was bowed, if your shoulders were slouched and your steps more resembling a scurry than a stride, you would have made a pitiable sight. It would look as if you were caught off-guard, as if you were panicked, incapable, scared.

But with your chin held high, with your shoulders back and a confidence steeling you, this was intentional. This was a statement. An image fit for songs, for stories, a princess devoted to her role and to the orders of her king.

As you drew closer to the king’s chambers, navigating through the ever-narrowing hallways, you felt your chest begin to tighten. You realised you might genuinely hate it here, this deep within the very depths of the palace, its cold little stone heart. A king might be well-defended here, the walls witness to nearly a thousand years of history, but you couldn’t shake the feeling that you were descending into a tomb.

And then, you heard the voices.

The last time you had been summoned by the king, you remembered catching a snippet of conversation at the very doorstep of his chambers. That was how close you had to get before Minho’s and the king’s voices could be heard through the thick wooden door.

But now? You heard them in the corridor - because they were loud.

Not quite a screaming match between father and son, but–

“–talk of duty, but what’s your solution, Father? Burying your head in the sand, that tried and tested trick?”

You almost stumbled, shock rendering you clumsy, because did Minho just say that to the king?

“Caution, boy, is not ignorance. How do you mistake the two? You’re well-versed in the latter.”

The two guards in front of you exchanged a glance. You noted that they did not share your horror. In fact, you could almost mistake it as…resigned.

“Was it age that turned your belly yellow? Is that my fate too? Cowardice?”

“I will not be lectured by a son still wet-around-the-ears on age.”

Not just resigned.

Long-suffering.

They’d heard this all before. Frequently, by the looks of things.

And then, as if that knowledge had unlocked something, had lifted the veil over your eyes, you could hear it. The hint of familiarity, the ease with which the two hurled insults at each other.

This was not the first time Minho and his father had quarrelled. In fact, you’d wager this wasn’t the first time this week.

The argument paused when the guards knocked at the door, announcing your arrival. As the doors swung open, you caught sight of Minho and his father – not a hair out of place, not even a flush of anger to their cheeks – glaring at each other with familial exasperation.

Minho looked away first, turning to look at you – and paused.

His Majesty followed his gaze, and you watched those regal eyes blink in surprise at your appearance.

You must have made a sight, your gown on its way to being ruined, your hair still slick and dishevelled, trying hard not to shiver in the cold of these chambers.

“Your Majesty,” you greeted, not even the slightest bit affected, and bowed low. You straightened up before offering Minho’s greeting. “Husband.”

“My dear,” the king spoke, just the slightest bit alarmed. “If my summons caught you at an inopportune time, I assure you it’s perfectly reasonable to delay answering until you’re presentable. Don’t concern yourself so thoroughly.”

You smiled brightly. The picture of obedience, of devotion. “I hated the thought of keeping you both waiting. I imagine I know what this conversation is about.”

The king’s gaze flickered between you and Minho at this, a frown soon beginning to form. Still, there was a subtle note of surprise in his voice when he spoke again. “I see. The two of you are conspirators in this…”

“Proposal?” you supplied, gently.

“Attack?” Minho offered, bitterly.

“…Folly,” the king said, finally, turning back to you.

You dipped your head, keeping your voice soft and sweet. “I’m sorry to hear that you see it that way. I believe it to be a fair compromise, to ease the tensions at court.”

“Yes, Minho said the same thing,” the king sighed, dismissive. “Both of you are blind to the same issue. Any conflicts that your position on the council might resolve are outnumbered by the discord it would certainly cause.”

Minho sighed, eyes darting up to the ceiling. You wondered how many times he had heard that argument this morning. “And yet, a good king prioritises the future of his kingdom above all else, is that not so?”

The king shot Minho a look. It didn’t take much to realise that those were likely the king’s own words that had come out of Minho’s mouth, not his own.

“Son–”

“Talk to her,” Minho interrupted, gesturing to you in pure exasperation. “Listen to her. Ask her anything. She’s more than qualified to be on the council.”

After a moment’s hesitation, in which it looked as if the king was debating whether to indulge his oldest son or nip this matter in the bud entirely, he turned to you.

“…Very well,” he said, giving in. You watched as he made his way to the splendid-looking chair behind a monstrosity of a writing desk, sinking into it. For a brief moment, you thought you caught something of a grimace in his expression.

Exhaustion? Perhaps. It must have been tiring work, running a kingdom. Let alone arguing with Minho too. You had first-hand knowledge of how that could drain your energy.  

The king’s eyes became fixed on you, almost pinning you to the floor, as he spoke. “Suppose you were on the council, and a message was received, warning of a great army about to invade. What would you advise?”

Your brow furrowed as you considered the question. You needed to remain calm, measured, and use every scrap of information you had studied.

“Which border is the army advancing toward?” you asked, thoughtful.

The king’s face remained unchanged. “The one we share with the Lakelands.”

Interesting. No cardinal direction given – you assumed that must have been on purpose – but still plenty of information to form an answer. The Lakelands were in the north, and under treaty with your kingdom.

“I would advise you to send missives to Lords Kim and Geum in the north with instructions to muster their forces and man our security garrisons along the border. I would also–”

“Which garrisons?” the king interrupted, gently but firmly.

“Yalrock and Banna. Yalrock is the largest garrison on the northern border, Banna is strategically advantageous because of its position on the river plains. You’d be forcing the army to march along the mountain passes instead.”

The king’s expression remained cold, neutral – and you realised, in that moment, exactly where Minho might have learned the same habit. “Continue.”

“I would also advise you to send word to our allies in the hills and across the Sunrise Sea, informing them that the Lakelands have broken our treaty pact.”

“Broken the pact?” the king repeated. “I never said the Lakelanders were the ones invading.”

“The treaty pact also forbids the harbouring of any forces with aggressive intent towards treaty members. In this scenario, the Lakelanders would be doing just this – unless they themselves were invaded by this army too, which I doubt if we received no summons for aid or word from our ambassador there,” you said. Was this too much detail? Were you rambling? You did your best to keep your words steady, unrushed. “Therefore, the treaty would be broken.”

From out of the corner of your eye, you caught Minho watching you, a hint of a smile on his face.

The king, while perhaps a touch surprised at your answer, pressed on anyway with another question, changing the subject entirely.

“…Suppose Lord Sun’s lands are failing to produce the amount of grain demanded of them. How would you advise me?”

“I would be confused,” you admitted, “because Lord Sun’s lands produce fish, not grain.”

“And why is that?”

“Because his lands are in the east, along the coast. The land there isn’t arable.”

“Why?”

“The weather is too hot in the summer, too dry. There isn’t enough freshwater for crop-growing.”

The quickness of your answer was rewarded with the smallest – almost unthinking – of nods from the king. He paused once more, and spoke again. “Suppose I wanted to–”

“Another question?” Minho interjected, sighing, as he wandered across the room and took a seat by the window. He rested his head against his hand, elbow planted into the plush armrest of his chair. 

The king shot him a look, either for the interruption, or for the flippant tone Minho had used, or perhaps even for the way he was lounging in the presence of his king, but he made no move to reprimand him. Instead, he turned back to you. “Suppose I wanted to offer a gift to the Lakelander delegation when they arrive next month to renew the treaty. A personal one, not a grand spectacle of an offering. What would you suggest?”

You paused. This wasn’t a question that could be answered with any of your recent studies of war or economics or geography. This was a question of hospitality, knowledge you needed as a queen, not as a councillor.

It took a moment, longer than it took with the first two questions, but soon there was an answer in your mind. “When the last Lakelander delegation came to this country to sign the treaty, one of the gifts they gave Your Majesty were wild rose seeds. Wild roses that were native to the Lakelands, difficult to grow in this climate, meant to symbolise a new peace and the care needed to maintain it. Her Majesty, the queen, still grows these roses in her private gardens, does she not?”

The answer to your question did not come from the king, but from Minho. “She does.”

“Then, I would suggest a bouquet of these roses. It would be symbolic of the care this kingdom has taken to nurture this new relationship with the Lakelands, a sign that we do not take their gifts for granted.”

The king eyed you carefully for a moment, silent. “…You weren’t present at the first signing of the treaty, were you? You’re too young for that.”

“You’re right, I wasn’t present, Your Majesty,” you replied. “But the queen graciously allowed me to play in her gardens when I was a child, and taught me the origins of those roses.”

Not quite. The queen allowed you and Felix to play in those gardens. She told you the origins of the roses when Felix tried to pick some for you, and accidentally cut open his palm on the sharp thorns of their stems. You remembered him, tears in his eyes, sniffling as Her Majesty held the both of you close and warned him gently that these roses were wild, were Lakelanders just like her and a little like him, and because of that, they were fiercely protective.

You remembered sitting and watching the two of them exchange smiles, and silently wishing that you were a Lakelander too. You wanted to be protective. You wanted to be like the roses, like them.

“Any more questions, Father?” Minho asked, jolting you from your memories. “Or has she proven our point? Impressively?”

And again, just as they had last night, Minho’s words stirred something within you. A kind of warmth, filling your chest.

The king regarded the both of you, silently, before sighing. “Your education is…indeed, as Minho says, impressive.”

Your heart soared, mind so entirely filled with elation that you almost missed his next words.

“But I’m afraid that still does not change the obvious. I did not secure decades of unprecedented peace under my reign by breaking with tradition. A woman sitting on the council is not tradition.”

You swallowed, heart sinking just as sharply as it had risen just moments ago.

“…There is precedent,” you pointed out, softly. “I found records of Princess Jiyoon on the royal council, less than two centuries ago.”

“That is true,” the king conceded, before tilting his head slightly. After a moment of consideration, he pushed himself out of his chair with the same half-grimace glimpsed earlier, and crossed the room towards a bookcase stuffed with leather-bound volumes. His hands hovered over them, fingertips brushing their spines, until he found the one he was searching for and pulled it from its stack with ease.

He made his way back to the two of you, opening the volume and thumbing through the pages as he walked, before offering the volume to you.

You took it, uncertainly, and looked down at what exactly he had handed to you.

Council records – but unlike the ones you had studied with Seungmin, you were shocked at just how much more detail this version contained. You supposed that made sense. The records in the library were likely censored, or edited for public consumption. These were private, a king’s own personal records, passed down from ruler to heir most likely.

Jiyoon’s name was there, listed amongst the other councillors, but these records included a strange symbol next to her name.

You frowned, and the king spoke again.

“I imagine you found no records of any contributions she made, correct? No votes cast, no motions brought to attention?”

“…No,” you admitted, reluctantly, looking up at him as dread began to curl in the pit of your stomach.

“There is a reason for that. Jiyoon filled a particular role. If you scour through the legal treatise of the time – dry reading, all of it, but it is there – you’ll find it. Jiyoon was not granted the role of an adviser, but of an observer. A silent one, there only to watch the council proceedings so that she could better educate her heirs in service of her husband. That is the precedent that Jiyoon set.”

Silent. Heirs. Husband.

Of course.

Of course. You should have known. That was what it always came down to. Centuries of royal women, millennia of royal women, and it was always the same.

Silent. Heirs. Husband.

You should have known. You should have known not to get your hopes up.

“What are you saying?” you heard Minho ask, dimly, as these thoughts repeated endlessly in your mind.

“The observer is required to be silent. She cannot vote, she cannot dissent, she cannot speak even when called upon to do so in session. She observes.”

Minho made a sound of disdain, maybe even disgust. “Then, what’s the point? Why have that great of a mind on your council if she can’t even use it? What a waste.”

“Perhaps, but that is the precedent you argue for. If you seek a compromise, that would be it.”

“A compromise? What–”

“I would accept it,” you interrupted, quietly. Your eyes were trained on the floor, voice barely above a murmur. Your brain still thundered with those three words, again and again. Silent. Heirs. Husband. “If Your Majesty were so gracious as to offer this role, I would accept it.”

You didn’t have to look at Minho to know the way his mouth was parted in surprise, astonished and outraged in equal measure. You could sense it in his tone when he spoke. “You can’t be serious.”

You raised your eyes to look at the king, purposefully avoiding Minho’s stare.

“I hope His Majesty knows that I don’t ask for this council seat out of personal ambition,” you said, softly, lying through your teeth to your king. “You said Jiyoon took the role as a duty to her husband and her children. If anyone objected to my position on the council, I would ask you say the same of me.”

“…You would take the council seat in service of Minho,” the king said, and even he sounded sceptical. You weren’t sure what that said about your marriage, but it wasn’t exactly promising.

“And our future children. We both take that duty very seriously.”

“Do you?” the king questioned, sharply, pointedly, but surprisingly it wasn’t you he was addressing – it was Minho.

You might have tensed at such an insinuation, but Minho practically bristled.

“Don’t,” Minho warned his father, straightening up in his seat. No, more than warned, he practically spat out the word. “I thought we agreed.”

Agreed? Agreed what?

You glanced between Minho and his father, sensing a tension that remained unspoken as the two eyed each other, jaws both set.

You were clearly missing something vital to this exchange, some secret piece of information – and, as always, the idea chafed at you.

And then, with a quiet and cold anger that you hadn’t heard in weeks, Minho told his father. “You owe me this.”

The king’s expression twisted. It was guilt, you realised. “Minho–”

“You owe me something.”

Another pause.

And then, finally, the king broke this staring contest with his son to look at you. “…The role requires complete silence. If I decided to grant you the seat on these conditions, and you flout them immediately, I will not look kindly on it. Do you understand?”

“I do,” you replied, solemnly.

“…Very well,” the king said, eventually. “I’ll make the necessary arrangements.”

You did it.

It was a hollow victory, yes, but a victory nonetheless.

You couldn’t quite muster happiness about it, or even gratitude, but there was a sense of achievement.

You nodded, quietly, and curtsied low before the king. “Thank you, Your Majesty.”

When you lifted your head again, you found the king glancing between your face and Minho’s before he spoke again.

“You do have quite the mind,” the king said, gaze still shifting between the two of you. “You might not be able to speak in the council room but…well, you share bedchambers now. Whatever you might discuss in there is your own private business. Is it not?”

Within days, news of your appointment to the council spread across the palace like wildfire.

You expected this, to some extent. Precedent or not, observer or not, this was still an undeniably shocking development. You knew there would be whispers about it, gossip passed around, growing and contorting with each telling and retelling.

All of this, and still you did not expect the conversation you happened upon one evening as you took a shortcut through one of the palace courtyards on your way back from a tutoring session with Seungmin.

The sun had just descended below the horizon, casting the square into shadow wherever the dim glow of torchlight did not quite reach. You caught snatches of voices as you walked, whenever you passed doors to parlours, to sitting rooms, to the dozens upon dozens of meeting places for the elite that resided within the court. Some of these doors were cracked open to enjoy the fresh air brought by the open-air courtyard on their doorstep, unaware of any passers-by.

And then, one particular comment caught your attention.

“Perhaps the poor girl is simply bored,” a haughty voice said, with a hint of laughter. “That council room might be a dreary place, but I’d wager it’s a damn sight better than her bedchambers.”

You froze, half within shadow, half without.

There was only one person that comment could possibly be referring to.

Immediately, you slipped behind one of the stone pillars lining the courtyard, heart pounding.

Finally, after all this talk of rumours, of whisperings at court behind your back, you finally had the chance to listen for yourself.

“Careful, Park,” another voice cautioned, although sounding more amused than concerned.

“A prince too scared to share a bed with his wife for weeks after the wedding,” the first voice – Park – scoffed. “What, did he hope no one would notice?”

A third voice chimed in, low and gleeful. “You want to hear something good? My wife heard a maid talking the other day. They change the sheets of that marriage bed every day. And they’re always pristine.”

Your face heated, something approaching bile threatening to burn the back of your throat. There was something about hearing your privacy be so…violated, and said so casually. Your bedsheets? They all talked about your bedsheets?

“You know my theory,” the third voice spoke again. 

“Your wife’s theory,” Park corrected, sounding dismissive.

“It makes sense. She’s saving herself for the other brother. Traded one for the other before, maybe she’s waiting to trade back when he comes home.”

Felix.

Traded one for the other. Is that how they saw it? Is that how they all saw it?

“He’s not coming back,” Park scoffed. “Not for a long time. Not unless His Highness fancies looking down and wondering why all his children have the Lakelander look to them.”

Your heart stopped. You felt the blood in your veins freeze, matching the ice­-cold anger settling into your bones.

“Gods be good, close the door before you say horseshit like that. Moron.”

This was more than fury.

This was wrath.

You stepped out of the shadows, just at the right moment to lock eyes with Lord Park as he stood by the doors, his too-late hand stilled on the handle.

“Good evening, Lord Park,” you said, voice so syrupy-sweet and cloying, and watched the blood drain from his face as he stared back at you in horror. You craned your neck to peek over his shoulder, catching a glimpse of the two other men with him. “Oh, I see Lords Song and Ryu have joined you. How nice.”

“Y-Your Highness,” Park stammered, and there was genuine fear in his eyes.

He knew what you had heard. He knew the words that had come out of his mouth, and how close those words danced along the line of treason. It would take you only one conversation with Minho, or with the king, and his career would be done. His family. His fortunes. Possibly even his life.

You smiled brightly at him. “I look forward to seeing you next week at the council. I’ve heard you’re quite the contrarian. You’ve voted to reject the last, what is it, seven bills put forward by my husband?”

Park didn’t answer. Perhaps it was more accurate to say Park couldn’t answer. You wondered what could possibly be going through his head at that moment. You wondered if he had ever felt this afraid in his entire pampered little life.

You tilted your head slightly, eyeing him. “Perhaps from next week, you might find yourself second-guessing a decision like that. Don’t you think so?”

Park’s face, still pale, twisted into something approaching realisation. He seemed to grasp exactly what you were hinting at – the threat that remained unspoken.

“…Y-yes, Your Highness,” Park agreed, nodding erratically.

“And your companions? Perhaps they’ll have similar changes of heart?”

From behind Park, his friends stammered their assent, just as rattled.

You beamed.

“Perfect. Have a nice night.”

You attended your first council meeting the very next week, finally taking that last empty council seat that had remained vacant for so long.

Sixty-two members attended the session in total.

You felt sixty-one pairs of eyes on you throughout.

You recognised quite a few of the faces in this meeting. Lord Young, as delightful as ever, sat just a few seats removed from the royal family – a position of great honour, especially for a man with neither blood nor marriage ties to the crown.

Lord Park had also made an appearance, and blanched the moment your eyes met his.

Good.

You paid the stares little notice, attention completely and utterly captivated by the debates that took place. Every idea proposed, every motion considered and accepted and denied, every opinion volleyed back and forth, you noted down.

You might have been silent, but you wrote feverishly. Pages and pages of scrawls, near indecipherable as you worked to keep pace with the spoken word of the other council members.

Minho was seated next to you. Of course he was – he served as a visible explanation for your presence there at all. To be useful to him, to educate his heirs and better his legacy. In the eyes of everyone else, your seat on the council was essentially just an extension of Minho’s.

You weren’t sure what to expect of him during these council meetings. You knew just how seriously he took his position as heir, and his duty to the kingdom – but you also remembered that carriage journey home from Lord Young’s orchards, the disdain he had for politicking, his derision in his voice when he talked of strings attached.

It turned out that in council meetings, Minho kept up the same perfect princely mask he always did in public. Never once raising his voice, never slipping into anger or mockery. Exemplary behaviour from the first second of the meeting to the last.

Except for one moment, when an old lord from the Tan family had loudly proclaimed an argument so poorly constructed, with parts so moronic that you made sure to underline his exact wording for its stupidity, that you heard the quietest of noises from Minho. When you glanced up at him, he was watching the debate with apparent rapt attention. If you weren’t sat so close to him, you would have missed the slightest way his jaw clenched, as if to fight a look of disdain as he watched Lord Tan blather on.

Minho proposed only one new bill – investment in a new mill, to be built in one of the kingdom’s slowly-dwindling rural villages, in the hopes of creating employment opportunities. You paused your notetaking to watch each council member cast their votes for or against the bill.

Most supported it. Some rejected it. Your eyes sought out Lord Park again, and you watched as he reluctantly raised his hand in favour of the bill, gaze nervously flickering towards you as he did so.

What an astonishing change of heart from the man. Who could have predicted?

Still, despite it all, the council meeting ended without incident. The issues tabled for the next meeting were fairly standard: a new maritime trade deal with a kingdom across the Sunrise Sea, preparations for next year’s census, the ongoing reports from the Lakelander delegation slowly making its way to the palace. You made note of it all, jotting down your own thoughts on each matter when you were able to, and kept the notes closely guarded on your person.

You made sure to take them straight to your bedchambers as soon as the meeting finished, intending to lock them away in your desk until dinner that evening, when you could discuss them with Minho.

To your surprise, instead of making his way back to his office to spend the rest of the working day, Minho followed you back to your shared chambers. You tried and failed not to focus on his footsteps, how they matched your pace precisely, echoing along the empty corridors.

The slightest sense of frustration sparked within you. If you had to be watched by gossiping onlookers, why couldn’t they at least see this? Minho ignoring his usual duties to accompany you back to your bedchambers? Let them whisper about that, sordid or not, that could at least be useful.

You pushed away the thought with one last scoff at your own poor luck, reaching your chambers without so much as a single pair of prying eyes to witness you.

“So,” Minho said, as the doors swung shut behind the two of you. “How did you find it?”

Frustrating. Exhausting. Borderline insulting.

“Informative,” you replied, collapsing into a seat. Your hands ached from how feverishly you had written throughout the meeting, and you began to clench and unclench your fists in the hopes of relieving the pain. “I made a few notes.”

“I noticed,” Minho commented, eyebrow raising as he appraised the pile of papers at your side. “They look…detailed.”

“They are,” you confirmed, picking the papers up and beginning to flick through them. “If I can’t speak my mind in that room, writing will just have to do.”

For now, you added internally. You refused to accept that this silent role would last forever.

“Can I…read them?” Minho asked, and his question came out hesitantly, almost cautiously.

You looked up, surprised. You weren’t sure how much use these notes would be – you were both just at the very same meeting after all – but there was something about the request that was almost…endearing.

Minho. Endearing.

Hell had truly frozen over.

“Of course,” you replied, holding the notes up.

Minho paused for a moment before, slowly making his way towards you. When he sat next to you, he was close enough that his jacket sleeve brushed your bare arm.

You cleared your throat, focusing your attention on anything but how close he was. “These pages are about the logging site proposals, this one was on the Lakelanders’ progress, this…oh, this page is actually about Lord Tan.”

“Lord Tan?” Minho repeated, one eyebrow raised.

“Yes. He’s…” you trailed off, trying to think of a polite way to phrase it. “…He’s a blithering idiot, honestly.”

Minho, to your surprise, laughed. Openly, loudly, with a note of genuine delight. A few weeks ago, you wouldn’t have thought him capable of producing such a sound.

“Do you know how many hours of my life I have wasted listening to that old man ramble incoherently?” he asked. “There were moments I was driven half to madness. But he was my father’s first real supporter when he became crown prince, so he’s adamant on keeping the man around.”

You watched as Minho turned the page over, half-smiling to himself.

“He’s a sentimental old fool like that, sometimes,” Minho said, too lightly to really be considered critical – or treasonous.

“Who was your first supporter?” You asked, curiously.

Minho paused, the lingering traces of cheer disappearing before your eyes. The shift in his mood was almost tangible, and it felt as if you had made some sort of misstep in a dance, thrown yourself and your partner out of rhythm.

His gaze flickered upwards, so very briefly, to look at you, before moving downwards. Down to your notes, down to where the space between your bodies was at its narrowest, barely a few fingers’ width between your skirts and his thigh. He took a breath.

“…Felix,” Minho said, softly, discreetly shifting away as he held your notes out to return them. “He was the only one to never doubt me. Not even for a second.”

Yes. Yes, that sounded like Felix.

You took back your notes, and tried not to notice how Minho avoided your touch as your notes exchanged hands.

A new silence fell between you.

Stifling.

Deafening.

You tried to take a deep breath, and stood up, making your way over to your desk to lock away your writings from prying eyes.

From behind you, Minho’s voice brought you to a halt.

“We haven’t talked about Felix,” he noted. “…And we probably should. At some point.”

He said it so plainly, so devoid of nuance or emotion. As if it were a mere observation, a comment about the weather and nothing more. As if his words didn’t strike something deep and vulnerable within you, like fingers clumsily probing a freshly-formed bruise.

You hated his apparent nonchalance. You despised it, and you envied it because you might never be able to do the same. To speak Felix’s name as if it meant nothing to you.

To speak his name as if…

To speak…

You…

Realisation – cold, violent realisation – hit you at once.

You had not. Not once. In months.

It had been months. And you had not spoken Felix’s name.

Not since your wedding day.

Others had. Countless others had. They murmured it gently and sweetly like Her Majesty, or they crowed it before you mockingly like those noblemen, or they threw it at you, cold and cryptic and horrifically empty like Minho.

They dragged him out of your memories where you kept him locked away.

Away, where he was safest to you. Safest from you. Safest for you.

“…No. We haven’t,” you said, and the words were quiet. Pained. Final.

The two of you did not speak again that day.

Soon enough, your father found you.

Your mother, all those weeks ago when she summoned you for that painfully awkward afternoon tea, had at least shown you the decorum your new status demanded and sent you a formal request.

Your father, a proud man, a pragmatic man, had no patience for such etiquette.

You were in the library, sat with Seungmin and poring over budgetary records with tired and bleary eyes, when he came marching in. He was flanked by two panicked guards, too fearful of your father’s status to lay their hands on him, too mindful of their duty to let him wander freely.

They fixed you with beseeching looks. “Your Highness, we – no one told us…y-your father…”

“Desires to speak with his daughter,” your father finished, in a tone you’d never heard from him before. “Urgently.”

Usually, your father was calm, collected, never one to show even a hint of vulnerability.

Now, here, he was impatient. Almost rattled.

You rose to your feet, so thrown off-kilter by the situation that you were a touch unsteady. After a moment, you nodded to your guards. “Very well. Please leave us.”

They did just that – and so did a third guard who had been sat just a few paces away from you and Seungmin.

Your father’s eyes darted to your tutor. “Him too.”

Seungmin, however, stayed seated. Slowly, he laced his fingers together and rested his hands on the table in front of him, returning your father’s glare with an unimpressed stare.

“It takes a bold man to order around a princess,” Seungmin remarked. Gently, as always, but firmly.

Your father’s expression hardened. He opened his mouth to speak back, but you cut him off at the pass.

“He’s right, Father,” you said. You couldn’t quite shake the nerves from your voice. You supposed that was only natural, after a lifetime of loyally following his orders and keeping your mouth shut in the process. “What’s wrong? Has something happened to Mother?”

Your father stared at you for a moment, almost…bewildered. He recovered quickly enough. “Your mother is fine, which is more than I can say for the state of your…of…” he gritted his teeth, swallowing back whatever he desperately wished to say, and instead cut straight to the point. “You took a seat on the council?”

His question, and the venom behind it, almost took you aback.

Still, you lifted your head, trying to stand firm. “Yes, I did.”

“How could you be so…foolish?” your father demanded to know, anger giving way to frustration. “I could have protectedyou there.”

It took you mere moments to read between his words.

You didn’t take a seat on the council.

You took his seat.

“Could you?” you said, swallowing. “Or would you have protected your own interests?”

Your father’s eyes blazed at the accusation. You knew the look. Your own temper was a family trait – and it certainly didn’t come from your mother.

He thundered his response. “You are my daughter! My interests are your interests!”

“Are they?” You shot back, your voice rising to match his.

“We are family, we are blood–”

“And what have I done, except increase our family’s legacy?” you interrupted him. “I did that, I secured our first council seat.”

“And what seat is that?” he replied, incensed. “A mute councillor, never to vote, never to speak?”

Your face burned, as you tried to think of a rebuttal to his questions. Something began to twist in the pit of your stomach.

Your father sighed, fixing you with a stern look. “Let me be frank, girl, if you’re so eager to play politics. Your position is not secure.”

You swallowed. “I know–”

“No, you do not,” he snapped, briefly raising his voice, before dropping his voice to a more controlled volume. “You inspired the love of the people, but what else? I know half a dozen lords are plotting your annulment, and another dozen with their own girls waiting in the wings. What will you do with that council seat, when a proposal comes to terminate your marriage? Watch silently when they vote to cast you aside?”

You stared at him, as that twisting sensation in your gut finally earned a name: dread. You tried to respond. “Royal marriages are a king’s prerogative, they can’t–”

“Yes, they can,” your father said, simply. “Any silver-tongued politician could convince the king that your marriage is a matter of the state. Perhaps if you were married to the younger prince, you’d be safe, but you’re married to the heir–”

At those words, coming out of your father’s mouth of all people’s, your vision turned red. Your response, when it came, hung heavy in the air.

“And whose fault is that?”

Your father’s eyes widened, and he hissed. “Mind your tongue.”

“I did,” you said, your voice cracking. Before you could top yourself, words began tumbling out of your mouth, every secret silent thought that had festered in the darkest, most vulnerable corners of your mind, spilling to the surface. “I was happy and content and loved, and I still bit my tongue and let you scheme to take it away. I married the right brother for you, are you still not satisfied?”

In an instant, your father stormed his way towards you, eyes blazing as he loomed over you. “Be careful, girl.”

For a moment, you thought he was threatening you. Your own father.

And then you watched his body crumple slightly, panic and concern finally bleeding through all that pomp and anger. “Especially about…that. Him.”

You watched him take a deep breath, rendered speechless. You had never – not once, in all your life – seen your father like this.

He seemed almost…scared.

“If there are plots to annul your marriage, there are plots for something far darker. Annulment would be catastrophic, but bearable. But any whispers of adultery, of treason? To see you executed…”

Gently, he lifted his hand to cup your cheek. And for a moment, you were four years old again, showing your father your very first letters, beaming as he called you his little princess, long before the rest of the kingdom was obliged to.

“You are my child. My only child. Doubt my intentions, if you must, but do not doubt my love.”

You were stunned into silence. His words should have been touching, and you supposed on some level that they still were. But you felt almost numb as you absorbed them. Was it shock, hearing your father speak of his emotions so plainly? Perhaps.

There was a small part of you that whispered if this was all just too little, too late.

Your father dropped his hand and stepped away from you, silence filling the air between the two of you.

Then, he paused, and turned his attention to something behind you.

For a moment, you felt confusion, turning to follow his glare – before embarrassment consumed you.

Seungmin, of course, had been sitting there the whole time.

“And you,” your father interjected, his voice cold and bordering on menacing, pointing at your tutor. “If you breathe a word of this–” 

Seungmin, despite showing the very clear signs of awkwardness one would expect from someone who had just witnessed such an intense and private family dispute, managed to keep calm as he replied with unfailing honesty.

“I am no fool. This position keeps my family fed, and will see my sisters marry well. I am only here at Her Highness’s request, and if the princess goes, this job goes with her,” Seungmin said, fiercely. “…And if nothing else, I know about your reputation, sir. I would rather like my tongue to remain inside my head.”

Your eyes widened.

That was a bold insinuation on Seungmin’s part. Tongue mutilation had been outlawed years ago, deemed too brutal a punishment when death was a surer way to guarantee silence.

You half-expected your father to deny this with bluster and offence. And yet, all he did was eye Seungmin silently, before nodding once and turning to the door.

As he approached it, your father spoke one final time to you.

“Keep your wits about you. You’ve made a dangerously bold move, and your enemies will use it against you,” he warned, before finally leaving, letting the heavy door slam shut behind him.

The echo of it reverberated across the library, as you stared after him with far more questions than answers.

It was Seungmin who first broke the silence, clearing his throat with just a touch of unease. “…Well, I imagine you’re no longer in quite the right mindset for last year’s harvest calculations. Would you like to finish our sessions early today, Your Highness?”

You didn’t speak. You barely looked at him, in fact, as you silently sank back into your chair.

Seungmin waited a moment or so longer, beginning to tap nervously on the smooth wooden surface of the table in front of him. “…Your Highness?”

“I…” you trailed off, as you realised the incriminating words that had fallen from your own lips just moments ago, and your head jerked towards Seungmin in panic. “Don’t… I don’t know how much you report to Minho about our lessons. But…please don’t tell him what I said about being…you know, about…”

“Biting your tongue?” Seungmin supplied for you, but his tone was heavy, knowing. He knew that wasn’t the offending part of your outburst.

“Yes,” you replied in the same tone, and when your eyes met, you knew you had an understanding. “He’s a smart man, I’m sure it’s nothing he doesn’t already know, but…it just seems cruel. I think. To hear it directly.”

Seungmin observed you for a moment, brow furrowing just a touch. He opened his mouth as if to say something, hesitated, before speaking anyway. “Actually, you should know that I don’t ‘report’ anything to Minho. Sometimes, he asks questions about what we study, and I answer them. Nothing more.”

You blinked, and before you could stop yourself, your curiosity won out. “What kind of questions?”

Seungmin eyed you again, and for a split-second, you could have sworn something akin to amusement quirked the corner of his mouth. Whatever it was, it disappeared in an instant, as he replied. “He asks about what interests you. Once, he asked about a book he’d seen you reading, and took a copy for his own use.”

“Oh.”

Whatever you were expected, it wasn’t that. A strange, unbidden feeling began to spread in your chest, warm for just a moment before common sense returned and drove it away.

“Well, I suppose that makes sense. Minho sometimes takes an interest in my education. Perhaps he wants to test me on it, make it a competition or something.”

“Yes, Your Highness,” Seungmin said, perfectly politely. “Or something, indeed.”

Soon after that, the first move was made against you.

Details were leaked about the maritime trade deal discussed in the council meeting. Confidential details that were now freely gossiped about, within the palace and without. No one could say for sure who was the source of those leaks, but the evidence was damning.

Before you joined the council, there hadn’t been a single leak in years. And now, after you attended your first meeting, sensitive information was being bandied about within days.

There was only one simple conclusion to be drawn about the identity of the leaker.

You.

Your father was right. Whoever your enemies were, they’d been scheming, and they did use your position on the council against you.

Perhaps the library would have been a better place to take a breath, dwell on the knowledge a little longer, turn it over in your mind alone to work out the whos and whys and how to press forward.

But your feet drew you to your chambers, through the doors, and even once inside they refused to let you sit idle. You paced, backwards and forwards, going over the situation, the accusations about to be levelled at you, the defences you might need, the evidence you had and did not have to prove your innocence.

You paced and paced, and thought and thought, until your head spun and your feet threatened to leave its imprints in the stone beneath you, until it became clear to you exactly what you were doing.

You hadn’t chosen these chambers for silent contemplation.

You were waiting here.

Because when you imagined defending yourself, you didn’t picture a faceless mob before which to protest your innocence. You didn’t picture the king, and his councillors, and the lords scheming behind your back.

You pictured Minho. His expression flickering between accusing, betrayed, angry, cold, pitying, wounded. It was him you wanted to convince before any others, as illogical as it was.

It was hurt, perhaps, maybe, at the idea that Minho thought you would betray his trust. You knew how he’d pushed hard for your position on the council. You would never throw it back in his face like this, and you needed to make sure he knew that.

You questioned just when Minho’s good opinion of you had become so…important.

Eventually, the chamber doors opened, and your words came spilling out at the mere sight of Minho in the doorway.

“I didn’t do it,” you declared. You wished you could be calmer. You feared that the panic in your voice would mislabel you guilty.

Minho, blinking in surprise for a moment at your sudden outburst, regarded you calmly. “Ominous words to hear when entering a room.”

“I’m not the leak,” you clarified, with little patience for his cleverness. “And don’t pretend you haven’t heard about it. I know the information being spread, and I know fingers are pointing in my direction. With some reason, I suppose, but it was not me.”

“You seem agitated,” Minho remarked, maddeningly, all but ignoring your words as his hands moved to begin undoing the fastenings of his jacket. It was some sort of rigid construction, high-necked and broad-shouldered, and perhaps once the imposing princely sight of him in it might have intimidated you. Now, there was a familiarity to the sight – and a bizarre comfort that came along with it, perhaps. “Usually I’m the one to spark it. It’s actually quite bemusing when something else is the source.” 

You stared at him for a second. Off-guard, waiting for any kind of actual response to what you were saying. When none came, irritation sparked in your chest. “Minho–”

“You’re innocent,” Minho said simply, halting you in your tracks. “I know. I told my father as much.”

It took you a moment to register exactly what he said, your head too full of practised arguments to leave much room for the recognition that Minho didn’t need to hear them.

He believed you without them.

It felt as if you had been barrelling towards something at high speed, a runaway horse, only to come to a sudden jarring stop. Air left your lungs in one unconscious breath, like a weight that had crushed your chest had been lifted.

“…Good,” you said, haltingly, and then relief struck you with such a violence that your eyes began to sting with tears.

At the sight of them, Minho’s expression shifted instantly from flippancy to something bordering on horror.

Frustrated, and more than a little mortified, you wiped them away impatiently. “Don’t. I’m fine.”

Minho opened his mouth, about to speak–

“No,” you interrupted, pointing at him, embarrassment warm in your cheeks. “This is just a serious allegation to be faced with, and I’m…relieved that I don’t have to waste my time defending myself.”

You managed to regain your composure, with no more tears threatening to make an appearance and humiliate you further. Taking a deep breath, you refused to look at Minho, refused to know if he believed your words or if that damned expression still lingered on his face.

“People are talking,” you said, finally.

“…People always talk. We’ve discussed this before.”

“It’s different now. I thought it was just idle gossip before, but…” you trailed off. “My father came to me a few days ago. He believes some of the nobles are scheming to dissolve our marriage. Free you up to marry a daughter of their own, and have me removed.”

Or worse.

You hadn’t fully comprehended what your father had hinted to you that day, not until now. You could see it all now. The image of your execution, a hundred smirking noblemen awaiting it, ready to thrust their own girls into your role. Perhaps to perish after you. Their scheming would not end with your death. They would simply turn on each other, try again and again, a dozen dead brides falsely accused and outmanoeuvred and doomed from the start.

And then, you snapped out of your dark thoughts when you realised that Minho had closed the distance between you, standing almost toe-to-toe.

His eyes sought your gaze, and held it.

“They can’t do that,” Minho said, firmly, gently. Certain. “We are married, and nothing can change that now.”

“It could. It would be easy, really,” you argued. “There’s no real proof of our consummation. You could say it never happened, and our marriage could be annulled by day’s end.”

“I would not,” Minho said, firmly. “Believe what you will about me, but I would never break off our marriage with a lie like that. Those are a craven’s actions, not mine. I swear it.”

Perhaps to your surprise, you found that you believed him. Minho could be called a great many things – indeed, you have called Minho a great many things – but ‘craven’ was not one of them.

Minho’s lips set into a grim, serious line. “Is that what concerns you? That I would set you aside?”

Would he?

Even after so many years around Minho, after weeks of being married, you still could not guess his true intentions.

“…I don’t know,” you confessed.

Something small flashed in Minho’s eyes. It looked like hurt.

“You have done a lot for me these past few weeks. More than I ever expected. More than I could ever ask for, truthfully. I think…I hope that we are friends, or at least something approaching it,” you told him, because it was true, and the lastthing you wanted was to destroy this budding trust you had developed between the two of you. Still, he deserved total honesty. “But I know you didn’t want this marriage, Minho.”

Minho was silent for a moment. You knew he couldn’t refute it, and he didn’t try to.

Instead, to your surprise, his hands lifted to rest gently on your shoulders. You could feel their weight on you, and how warm it was. Solid. Grounding.

He held you there and when he finally spoke, his tone was serious – grave, almost.

“…The night before Felix left for the coast, he came to me,” Minho admitted. “He made me swear – on my life, on his, on my mother, on my crown, on everything I have ever valued – that I would protect you from harm.”

Your lips parted in shock.

Felix.

“I love my brother, more than anything. He was once my only friend, in all the world. The very best of me,” Minho said, words beginning to pour out of him, as if finally freeing thoughts he had kept buried deep inside for months, perhaps even years. “I didn’t tell him how much he meant to me, not really. And now…”

Minho swallowed, eyes closing for a brief second, before meeting your stare again with a quiet intensity.

“He will never forgive me for marrying you. Never. The least I can do is honour the last thing – the only thing – he has ever asked of me.”

You didn’t know what to say.

A sudden realisation hit you. A small piece of an inscrutable puzzle, revealed.

“Is that what you meant, when you told your father he owed you something? For making you marry me?”

Minho swallowed, pausing for a second, and answered.

“Yes, in short. My father and I have had our squabbles but this marriage…it was the first true fight we had. The first time he’s ever had to order me to do something as a king, not asked me as a father. We haven’t seen many things eye-to-eye since. He doesn’t…understand,” he said, and then, almost to himself, “but he doesn’t need to. I know I’m doing what is right.”

There was a terrible sadness in his eyes, a shocking vulnerability. It was almost alien to see such an expression on Minho’s face, to glimpse beyond the walls he so skilfully kept up.

Unthinkingly, you surged forward and wrapped your arms around him.

He stilled in your hold, tense with surprise. You ignored it, squeezing him tightly, pressing your face into his chest. It was an awkward embrace, perhaps. The hard edges of the embroidery on his jacket dug into your cheek, stitching rough against your soft skin, and Minho’s movements were stiff and unpractised as he returned the hug.

But it didn’t need to be perfect. It only needed to prove the one thing you intended to show him.

Trust.

That night, when dinner was cleared, Minho retreated to his couch and paperwork. You left to change into your sleepclothes in private, as usual, and returned to slip quietly into bed.

There, however, you fidgeted and fumbled with exactly what to say before finally, bravely, breaking the silence. “…You can sleep in the bed. Next to me. If you were…unsure about it.”

Minho’s stare in response was indecipherable. But he nodded once, and when he finished whatever report he had picked up from the pile of papers, he disappeared to the bathroom and reappeared dressed for bed.

White linens. Thin, soft. You remembered them from your wedding night.

It was enough to make your breath hitch – and, embarrassed, you rolled to your side to avoid looking at Minho, lest you stared too openly at him.

You heard him pull back the covers on his side, and felt the weight of him sink into the mattress. He seemed to keep his distance, as not a single part of you touched, and yet you were painfully aware of his presence there.

Silence fell over the two of you, interrupted only by quiet breaths in tandem.

Something squeezed gently in the pit of your stomach. You recognised it as something like anticipation, which was bizarre, as you knew nothing was going to happen.

Nothing would happen.

…And yet, you supposed it would be easy for Minho to shift closer towards you. You could imagine him reaching over, and setting his warm hand on the curve of your hip.

Would he turn you, so you were facing him? Perhaps, but you could also see him keeping your back to him. Letting you hide your face, a small mercy, because he would probably know how embarrassed you would be.

Your eyes drifted shut.

It would be easy for him to press his face into the back of your neck, his mouth into the crook where your neck and shoulder met.

And perhaps he would whisper, soothingly, as his hand travelled lower, seeking the hem of your nightgown, sliding it up your thighs and…

No.

Your eyes snapped open as you scolded yourself, a mixture of excitement and shame heating your face. You banished every remotely inappropriate thought from your mind, turning to lie on your back and stare up at the ceiling.

You wondered, briefly, if Minho was looking up at the same thing too. You refused to glance over at him to check. The thought of seeing his face after all…that that had been swirling in your thoughts? Absolutely not.

It took far longer than usual to fall asleep in the deafening silence, but eventually you managed to.

The next morning, you awoke and realised, for the very first time, you had woken up before Minho. He was sleeping peacefully, unaware that the two of you must have turned to face each other in the night, bodies still a careful distance apart.

With one exception – Minho’s left arm lay outstretched, the knuckles of his hand just barely kissing the delicate skin of your wrist.

You stared at where your hands touched, skin-on-skin.

And you did not move your hand away.

[just-a-ghost00]

What you should know about them

Think of a person that you would like to enquire about before picking your group. It can be romantic or platonic.

Group 1 🐚 

Overall energy represented by the Fool | Spread : 6 of cups, 6 of pentacles, Justice, 5 of wands, King of wands, 3 of pentacles

This person has a child, possibly a son. Their life is taking a radical U-turn. They are starting anew. This could mean they are either divorcing or moving away from a situation / a job that caused conflicts in their life. They are looking for balance and a sense of peace because their life was chaotic up until now. The presence of their child and their wellbeing is also a major factor in their decisions. There were a lot of conflicts in their household regarding their job. Maybe this person was too ambitious and not open enough to learning and listening to people's advice. Maybe their responsibilities clouded their vision to the point where they were disregarding their reponsibilities as a partner and a parent. It could also be they had an affair with a younger person or at least they admitted to having their eyes set on another person. Because on the cards, the king of wands is depicted looking at the left while he's kinda throwing fire at the right. On the left of this king of wands is the 5 of wands, showing a young woman being cornered by four other people. She looks modest but strong in her power, even when acculated by more influential people. On the right of the king is the 3 of pentacles, picturing some kind of nun. The nun looks kinda sad. She is contemplating and her heart is guarded by her crossed hands. As if she were saying : "Lord why did it have to come to this?" It's like the king wants to rescue the 5 of wands person while he's potentially hurting the 3 of pentacles person. This is very specific and may not resonate with everyone.

If this isn't the case of your person, it could be that they are feeling triggered and cornered by other people and they have a hard time moving on. Instead of being the bigger person and not giving them any more attention, they dwell on what happened and try to wrap their mind around ways they can work this out, hoping they could change them. This person is longing for meaningful connections where they don't have to fight or overgive to be respected and cared for, to receive love and acceptance. They are tired of fighting for bread crumbs and they intend on getting retribution for the wrong that has been done to them. This person could be a soulmate of yours. You are bonded by karma and divine justice. They bring balance in exchange and wealth, as well as reciprocated love. Their presence in your life is a retribution for all the hard times you went through. You may be wary of them at first and try to resist the attraction you feel for them. But with time, you'll learn to see them for who they are and work together towards a new journey without fear of being judged or deceived. This energy feels very similar to group 3 so you may want to check that as well.

Letters : T N I D V S I O Z D I E T E Words/signs/names : division, divide, vision, tides, vines, zones, iode, ions, veins, tied, Dion, soviet, diet, dine, tones, dives, zen, Sonie, son, NOV(ember), Ted, sin, void, OVNI (UFO), Dio, TV, zionist, edits, tense, videos, visio, Oz, TNT, DVDs, seize, Vinted

Group 2 🎐

Overall energy represented by 7 of pentacles | Spread : queen of cups, hierophant, page of swords, king of cups, emperor, fool

The person you're thinking about could be your FS and/or divine counter part. If you're in a relationship with them or you intend to be, there could be jealousy around the relationship coming from a father figure. The connection between you needs time to progress but a good outcome can be expected. A new phase in the relationship is taking place. This could be them taking it to the next level by offering commitment or moving in with you. Your relationship could be work related. This person is very grounded and nurturing. They have a sweet and reliable energy that makes people feel super safe and protected. They are a good communicator and don't have issues with voicing out their needs, their worries, their feelings. For some of you this person could be religious. For some this person likes to have a lot of fun and do a lot of outdoor activites. They like to work out. I'm getting a very masculine energy from this person. As a child, they may have delt with toxic masculinity and controlling parents, especially their dad. I'm really getting this person potentially proposing to you. Cause the Hierophant combined with the page of swords makes me think of legal matters surrounding commitment. So they could be filing a paper to officially recognize you as their "wife"/"husband", or at least someone they are "tied to" according to the law. I feel like this is very important for them. Like this person was not fully into the relationship because that important step wasn't reached. I mean, this would be logical knowing they are potentially religious. They were waiting for engagement to fully embrace the connection you have.

I asked spirit for more information as I wasn't getting much from the initial spread. The cards were the Hierophant again combined with the Star and the 3 of pentacles. So I'm getting that for some of you the relationship wasn't official. It wasn't even publically known that this person liked you on a romantic level to the point of wanting to marry you. They even hid it from their family, maybe because of cultural differences or because you were from different social backgrounds. For some I'm even getting your person is an important public figure. They couldn't tell people they had the intention of marrying you because they would have gotten backlash about it. But they're tired of hiding what they feel and they want to be able to work on this relationship without shame nor fear. They want to do right by you, in the name of the law and the name of their spiritual beliefs. So they want to make it public. They want to close the distance between you. I'm also getting a message of this connection being a protection for you. A protection from a rigid father figure or from masculines in general. It's like this person wants to "claim" that you are theirs because they just can't stand anymore the though of you being courted by other people.

Letters : B G E R A R S B L I T E N I words/signs/names : Nile, Blaise, Argent, bites, raise, arts, breast, genie, girls, Line, Lina, real, siren, gears, bears, big, lasting, Italie (Italy), Brésil (Brazil), trains, Real (as in Real Madrid), Neil, rentals, Bergen, Iran, star, stranger, liars, brags, listen, bars, blasting, Berlin, Nial, anis, teens, trials, brats, barbers, grabs, gelatine

Group 3 🌊

Overall energy 6 of cups | Spread : Tower, 8 of wands, The Lovers, page of cups, King of swords, Queen of swords

This person is a soulmate. They have divine counterpart potential. There was jealousy surrounding this person's relationship in the past, a lot of gossip that possibly lead to a major shift in their life. Possibly a breakup/divorce. There were a lot of interferences, a lot of heat. They couldn't see clear anymore. So a choice has been made by this person to move on from their toxic environment. They could have met you in the process of moving away from this relationship and they decided to give your connection a chance. They like you more than just a little. Yet, they may be scared of what they feel so they could be somewhat reluctant to make a move. At the same time, they want to come forward quickly and tell you what's on their heart. There's a lot of conflicting energy surrounding this person.

What's positive in this situation is that they view you as their equal. They're aware of what you can bring to the table and their feelings are genuine. I don't sense any ill will coming from this person. But rather a lot of affection and a strong desire to protect. They are evolving quickly. After the shift in their personal life, a lot of things have happened to them at a fast pace. Maybe they quickly found a new home if they were looking to relocate. Maybe it was about job offers or just finding a new person (aka you). They quickly moved on from whatever trouble they were facing before. They are not the type to dwell on a situation if they know they did their part and there is nothing more they can do. Even more when they know what they want. They may not be sure about what they hope for with you, but they know for certain they want to get closer and get to know you better. I feel for this group your meeting with this person is quite recent. Either that or they recently developed feelings for you which weren't there before.

I felt the need to ask for clarification about the gossip surrounding their relationship. The card are : 2 of wands, High Priestess, 3 of pentacles. People were doubting this person's loyalty toward their partner because they were not being transparent about what they were working on. They were elusive about their projects, their job. People may have found suspicious that they spent more time at work away from their partner (and possibly kids) instead of being home with the ones they loved. When all this person was doing was just to try to protect their loved ones from their work struggles. For others, it could have been that they were accused of having an affair with a coworker. I'm getting this person's job requires to travel a lot, especially abroad. People were suggesting to their partner that they had a double life, that they found another person in a foreign country with whom they were cheating on their partner. In reality, people were wrongly assuming your person's intents. They have a very different conception of relationships than what most people think. If for others love for a partner should be shown by spending quality time with them and constantly being present for them, they like to show appreciation for their partner by trusting them enough to leave them be and have their free space. This person doesn't feel the need to know and control everything about their partner. They don't feel the need to be constantly tied to their loved ones. They like to have their own little bubble and they allow the same for their partner. They instead show love by supporting their person's independence, giving words of affirmation, providing a different point of view on life, taking care of their health by doing acts of services. For instance, they are definitely the type to work extra hours to provide for their family so that their partner doesn't have to and can enjoy more free time. They have been wrongly judged. You might want to check group 1.

Letters : M V I C A K M O T E S S R words/signs/names : Kassim, cakes, cars, moms, VISA, raise, crest, tears, Sommer (summer), Kaiser, sister, socks, cream, voice, cries, Moris, Cris, mess, Messi, Roma, mics, east, tram, Vimeo, Cameo, cams, treks, tracks